#And I needed to drink a bunch for surgery

[h0neybun-was-here]

my mother:

Six year old me:

Six year old me: it doesn’t hurt that bad… we should just go to Olive Garden

my mother: we are going to the hospital and that’s final-

the hospital: they would have died had you brought them in even an hour later

six year old me: Olive Garden….😞

[subsequentibis]

oh i wanted longlegs to be so much weirder than it was. it needed like three more script revisions and some deeper interrogation of the genre it sprang from, and someone to gently take the sound designer's hand on the volume dial and turn it down juuuuust a bit. i need the actual movie to be what scares me, not someone dropping a hammer on the piano to tell me i ought to be scared.

[genderqueerdykes]

had the consult for my gallbladder surgery. the doctor told me i need to "lose 10 - 15 pounds" before they'll perform the surgery on me, and that I would need to wait 2 - 3 months before they would schedule it. i told her i have PCOS which makes it difficult to lose weight. she told me that does happen, and offered to refer me to a bariatric surgeon who is used to bigger bodies who could perform the gallbladder removal instead. i asked her for the referral to them instead

i was very angry at her for this, as 10 - 15 pounds do not make any difference when you are 300 lbs. my weight fluctuates between 280 - 340 lbs depending greatly on what i've eaten, how much i exercise, and so on. this will also vary greatly depending on if the stone is blocking my gallbladder completely or partially- if it's fully blocking the neck of my gallbladder, i cannot get enough digestive juices into my stomach to properly digest my food, so i will begin violently vomiting to get the undigested food out, and to get bile flowing into my stomach again. i begin to lose tons of weight when this happens, and i put it back on during the periods where i can get enough bile in my stomach to properly digest my food.

i can't digest my food properly. eating "healthier" will not change this- i can't digest food at all, period. healthy or unhealthy, i can't digest anything, because a good half of my digestive juices are completely missing from my guts. there is a functional issue with the way my guts work, of course i will lose weight drastically and put it back on at times. of course the issues will be episodic.

both her and the student that was working with me kept assuming that i said that my pain got worse after "high fat" meals. both of them put this in my mouth-

the student did it first. she asked when the pain gets worse and i said sporadically, but sometimes after i eat. she literally asked me "so you said it gets worse after fatty meals, right?"

i got frustrated and said "no, it's really random." i didn't get to tell her that raw leafy vegetables and lightly steamed or cooked vegetables make me vomit. broccoli and cauliflower that aren't heavily cooked, salads, raw vegetables, lightly cooked carrots, applesauce and apples in general are all problem foods.

the doctor then came in and said "it gets worse after high fat meals, right? you said that" and i went, again, "no it just kinda happens."

i don't even eat a high fat diet. i cook at home now for every meal now that i have all the tools i need to do so. i make rice, fish, pasta, and certain vegetables that i can digest like potatoes, sweet potatoes, onions, mushrooms, and so on. i eat bread, seeds, nuts, dried fruits, and drink oatmilk. i don't eat land meats, eggs, or dairy. i don't have any of those things. i do eat french fries and fish sticks, but not for every single meal. i don't eat chips because they're too salty and irritate my stomach. i don't eat candy or sweets unless the food bank delivers them to me. i don't eat much sugar other than pancakes and certain fruits

she wouldn't listen to me and went "well when you eat fatty meals, your gallbladder has to contract more and it can cause you a lot of pain." you would not believe how many times she came back to "you need to eat a lower fat diet." "the pain gets worse after you eat a high fat meal, so eat lower fat meals and your pain will go down." "just eat a lower fat diet and it'll help."

i just kind of sighed. there were tears in my eyes. i felt defeated. they made a bunch of assumptions just because i was sitting there, being fat. i was wearing long sleeves due to it being cold and they didn't get to see that i have a lot of muscle in my body mass. quite a lot. i wanted to tell them that i'm on testosterone and physically active when and where possible, and that i frequently lift heavy objects and move, but i never got a chance. i wanted to tell them my BMI isn't what they think it is, but i just didn't bother to try

i despise that people assume that fat people are fat because they eat "unhealthy" foods. i ate high fat foods for a few months while i was homeless because i didn't have the resources to cook every single meal. it affected my liver, i'm dealing with some fatty liver. but my gallbladder has more important issues in the form of the literal stone inside. she would not stop pushing for me to eat lower fat meals. all because i was sitting there, existing, as a fat person. i wish i would've told her i can only eat fish and plant matter

i don't understand how a patient telling you they're vomiting and can't keep down certain foods does not sound like a more pressing issue than an arbitrary number. weight as a number means nothing, it tells you nothing about that person's actual body composition. i have trauma with vomiting and yet i'm going to have to keep doing it anyway despite the fact that it could kill me via dehydration or if i just. can't stop

either way i'm very unhappy with result as i already waited for a month for this consult. now i have to wait for a referral for another surgeon to go through, and to do the consult with them, too. all while being in pain and having GI issues the entire time. just because a surgeon doesn't want to take the time to learn how to operate on fat bodies. i'm tired. what a joke

[tbaluver]

kiss me under the mistletoe- the love and deepspace men

pairings in order: xavier x reader, zayne x reader, rafayel x reader, sylus x reader genre: fluff fluff summary: spend the holidays by his side and share a kiss(es) under the mistletoe a/n: ty @ilovemitsuya for making me with the lads christmas dividers (˶ ˘ ³˘)ˆᵕ ˆ˶) and ty @ilovemitsuya and @deusfoundry for beta reading ! (ง ˃ ³ ˂)ว ⁼³₌₃⁼³

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Xavier:

“hmm?” his eyes flicker to the cluster of red berries on the christmas tree. he reaches his arm out and plucks it out of the christmas tree, examining it. “is this edible?”

you turn around after you finish tucking in the last flower in the tree and your gaze falls on xavier, who’s sniffing the mistletoe you carefully placed at the top of the tree.

you chuckle softly and gently take it from his hands. “no honey,” tucking back the mistletoe back into its rightful spot above you both. “it’s a mistletoe.”

you lost him there. xavier tilts his head, his brows furrowed in confusion. “mistle....toe?”

a smile tugs at your lips, christmas was completely new to him. you can’t help but step closer, standing on your tiptoes to brush a soft kiss on his lips right below the mistletoe. “when you stand below the mistletoe, you kiss someone next to you.”

xavier blinks, his expression shifting from confusion to realization with a smile now tugging on his lips. “ah i see,” he steps closer, his hands finding their way to your cheeks to pull you into a deeper kiss, melting into him.

however it seems xavier didn’t actually seem to actually understand. the next day as you two walk outside, xavier suddenly pulls you under a tree. he points up to a bunch of random red berries hanging from a branch above you both. “mistletoe.” you blink in confusion but before you can say anything, he pulls you in for a kiss, his lips warm against yours. and it happens again and again. he simply loves the idea of kissing you, no matter wherever you both are. you could correct him and point out the difference but you also love the idea of sharing a kiss with him whenever or wherever.

Zayne:

zayne attempts to celebrate christmas. with parents who were renowned doctors and himself a surgeon, their schedules barely rarely lined up which never made it easy. to him, christmas didn’t feel like christmas at all. he works tirelessly in the operating room, creating his own miracles that day as he performs surgeries. more often he found himself spending the holidays alone, drinking hot cocoa ( with an insane amount of sugar ) while he read ahead on patient reports.

but deep down he knew something was missing and you managed to solve it for him and fill that missing void.

after many years, his old dusty christmas tree was pulled out from his storage and has finally been decorated in all its festive glory as you two carefully hung ornaments and placed finishing touches that made it feel more personal for the two of you.

the sweet delicious smell of the baked cookies fills the air as he carefully pulls them out of the oven. he begins to prepare the hot cocoa he makes every year, this time with a special plus one. he made sure to get the matching snowmen mugs that he knows you’ll love when he brings them out.

meanwhile as you gently place the gifts you wrapped for each other under the christmas tree, a playful idea sparks in your head. 

he hears your soft footsteps get closer as he preps the ingredients. “do you want any sugar in yours?” he asks, adding two spoonfuls of sugar to his cup and proceeding to add an extra spoonful to make it more sweet.

your heart flutters with excitement and your lips curl into a grin as you hold up a mistletoe above your heads. “another holiday tradition ,” rising up on your tiptoes as you lean in to plant a gentle kiss on his lips.

zayne’s lips curl into a small smile as you pull away. “do i really need a plant to get permission to kiss you this holiday?” he asks, shaking his head. he pulls you in closer, his hand guiding your jaw to draw you into a deep and sweet kiss.

Rafayel:

humans are weird. chopping and dragging a perfectly happy tree into their homes and proceeding to adorn it with glittery things. rafayel never understood the appeal, that is until he met you.

he completely changes his mind about the entire holiday once he realizes that he gets to spend with you if you two celebrated the holiday together. so from this moment on, he declares that this year and every single year shall be spent together. maybe humans were on to something afterall..

a tradition that quickly became his favorite was holiday crafting with you. spending hours of creating your homemade ornaments and bursting with inside jokes as soft christmas music played in the background.

you two would dig up any embarrassing photos of each other to hang on the christmas tree. as you both carefully placed your last ornaments on the tree, a certain plant that you had purposely placed had caught your attention once again. and just below it was the perfect target.

as he continues going on about how silly you looked in the picture, you stepped closer to him, cutting him off mid-sentence and placing a soft quick kiss to his lips.

for a second you caught him completely off guard but his surprise melted into a sly smirk. “oh? someone feeling jolly or whatever the humans call it?” he teases, slightly leaning in more closer to you.

you giggle, pointing up to the mistletoe hanging directly above the both of you. “it’s a tradition,” you boop his nose. “you have to kiss someone when there’s a mistletoe above you.”

and just like that, christmas became rafayel’s favorite holiday.

the next morning as you both woke up, you woke up to something quite unexpected. it seems your lover was busy while you were asleep because every entry way of his studio and ceilings were decorated with mistletoes.

with a mischievous grin, he raises a brow. “guess you’re gonna have to kiss mee,” he teases while crossing his arms, “it’s a holiday tradition after all.” as you stood right below a mistletoe, his perfect and only target.

Sylus:

sylus had never celebrated the holidays, ever. growing up it was just another day of surviving and now it was just another day to him. he never wrapped or given the perfect gifts for loved ones during this time until he met you.

the moment he saw the joy and excitement in your eyes as you talked about doing Christmas traditions with him, something inside him shifted. he couldn’t ignore how much it meant to you and who was he to deny you the chance to celebrate? he wanted to make this season special for you this year and every year.

giving it a chance, he transformed his home with you. every corner and every entry way of his home was decked out with some type of christmas spirit.

sylus bought a massive tree, one that’s slightly more taller as he was and with the perfect intention in mind. he wanted to lift you up so you could place the start on the top once it was fully decorated. the tree was wrapped in red and gold ornaments that you recommended would suit his taste and finished off with luxurious ribbons around it.

it was worth it. seeing the way your eyes sparkled and how wide your smile got made everything worth it. he finally understood there was more then just gift giving. it was spending time with someone you truly loved.

with a final tuck of the ribbon on the tree, sylus turns around, his eyes locking onto yours. you clear your throat softly, earning a raised brow from him in amusement as you step even closer. your fingers gently tug his shirt, signalling him to lean down to your level. without hesitation, he leans down slightly, his warm breath fans against your skin as  you press a soft and lingering kiss to his lips.

his eyes flutter open slowly, his lips curling into a smirk. “a reward sweetie?” 

you shake your head, a playful smile tugs at your lips as you point upward to the mistletoe you carefully placed above the tree. “it’s a tradition to kiss someone under the mistletoe sy,”

he lets out a breathy chuckle, his gaze flickering between you and the mistletoe. “well technically you’re under the mistletoe..” he teases, his height barely grazing the plant. “but,” he leans back down to your level again, his lips capturing yours in a deeper and more passionate kiss.

“is there a rule for how many times i can kiss you under the mistletoe?” he whispers against your lips.

[moonstruckme]

okay sooo mae i have this idea for emt!marauders! you know how some people have mistaken appendicitis/ruptured appendix for bad period cramps (bc period education is so abysmal). im imagining a reader who thinks they’re having the worst period pain ever and the marauders are trying to help, but once reader describes their symptoms the boys are like ‘uhmmm no babes you literally need an organ removed rn’.

i hope you are having the best day <3 sending you all the good vibes!! <3

Sending good vibes back, thank you lovely <33

cw: stomach pains, mention of hospital/surgery

emt!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 974 words

“Shh, I know, baby.” 

“You don’t,” you moan bitterly, pushing your face harder into Sirius’ lap and clutching your heating pad to your stomach. 

“I—yeah, I guess you’re right. Sorry.” He continues to toy with your hair, fingernails scratching lightly at your scalp in an attempt to soothe you. On the other end of the couch by your feet, James watches you with a sad puppy look. Sirius’ hand brushes across your temple, and he makes a sympathetic whining sound. “Oh, sweetheart, you’re hot.” 

“It hurts,” you whine in earnest. 

“Do you want some brownies?” Remus peeks out of the kitchen. “I’m almost done with these, but you’re welcome to some batter if you can’t wait.” 

You nibble your lip, looking at him apologetically. “I don’t think I feel well enough to eat anything.” 

Remus gives you a compassionate look and disappears back into the kitchen. Another wave of sudden, sharp pain makes you suck in a breath, curling tighter in on yourself. Sirius coos. 

“Fuck, what did I do to deserve this?” You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to breathe through the pain. “It’s never usually this bad.” 

“Does it hurt in your back, too, angel?” James leans forward, rubbing tentatively at the base of your spine. 

“No, not—not this time. It’s so weird.” 

His eyebrows bunch. “Why don’t you at least have some of your tea? That usually helps, doesn’t it?” 

You press your face into Sirius’ stomach. He palms the back of your head protectively, thumb rubbing the skin by your ear. “Honestly, thank you, but I really don’t think I can. 

“You should, dove,” says Remus, coming in from the kitchen to crouch by your head. He takes your tea and presses it into your hands, brushing a kiss against your hairline when you take it. “Sit up and have a few sips before it gets cold.” 

Reluctantly, you do as you’re told, allowing Sirius to help you into a seated position. He pulls you gently into his lap, making sure your heating pad stays situated, and you raise the cup to your lips. James rubs your ankle encouragingly while you drink. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks at your pinched expression. 

You mash your face into Sirius’ shoulder, ashamed. You feel horribly dramatic. You must have the lowest pain threshold in the whole world. “I can’t decide whether to go to the toilet. I feel like I could be sick, but moving makes it hurt worse.” 

Remus takes your cup from you, setting it back on the table. He’s frowning. “Moving makes it worse?” 

You nod miserably. 

He touches his knuckles to your forehead, brows stitching together. “How long have you been feeling nauseous?” 

You make a low, piteous sound. It feels impossible to think clearly with your stomach radiating hurt. “I dunno. I think it’s because of the pain.” 

“Was it the same time that the cramps started?” 

“I think so.” 

“Alright, thanks, sweetheart.” He kisses the space between your brows. “Do you mind if we check on something really quickly?”

You feel your eyebrows furrow. You’re about to ask what he means when James takes your heating pad, pulling it off of your middle. 

“Just for a second,” he promises at your distressed expression. “I’m gonna feel your stomach, okay?” 

You nod, wanting whatever this is over with so you can get your heating pad back, but when James’ fingers push gently into your lower abdomen, the pain triples. You cry out. 

“It’s okay,” Sirius coos, holding you tighter to his chest while James backs up to allow you to fold your knees in again. “It’s okay, baby, he’s done.”

“Jamie,” Remus asks softly, “would you get us a bag ready, please?” 

You blow air out through your mouth, trying to calm yourself as the pain fades back to the way it was. Sirius pets the back of your head, his other arm wrapped firmly around your shoulders. “A bag for what?” you ask weakly. 

Remus looks at you, his face conveying both apology and tenderness. “We’re going to go to the hospital,” he says slowly. 

“Wha—why?” You feel immediately frantic. Tears press at your eyes. “I don’t want to go anywhere.”  

“He’s telling you why, baby, listen.” Sirius kisses your head. 

“You’re not having period cramps,” Remus says patiently. “The good news is, we can fix it. The pain will go away, and you’ll be completely fine. But to do that, we need to go to the hospital so you can have your appendix taken out.” 

As he explains, Sirius is pressing kiss after kiss into your hair, holding you close and rubbing your back when you get upset. You make your dissent known, but Remus is calm and understanding. He answers your questions honestly, tells you about the procedure, promises they’ll be with you for as long as you’re awake. Before long, James has returned with a backpack of supplies for an overnight stay and your pillow under his arm. 

He sets them both down on the coffee table. Slips one arm behind your shoulders, another beneath the crooks of your knees. 

“No sense in walking when you’re poorly, right angel? Sirius, you can carry her things, yeah?”

Sirius groans as he slings the backpack over his shoulder. “Fuck, did you pack all her books?” 

“Just the essentials.” James kisses the bridge of your nose. “Wouldn’t want you getting bored in there. You doing alright?” 

“I don’t see how it can get worse,” you manage. You know you must look awful, eyes red from withheld tears and face creased with pain. James’ brows hook sympathetically. 

“At least you’ll feel better in a few hours, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Remus answers for you. He sets a palm on top of your head as he moves past you both to get the door. “We’ll have you all fixed up soon, dove.” 

[macgyvermedical]

A Day in the Life of your Character in the Hospital

Yesterday, your character was shot in the lower left side of their abdomen. They were taken to the emergency room and given IV antibiotics, fluids, and then rushed to surgery. Today is their first full day in the hospital.

0600: The surgeon arrives. He's running late and he's pissed about it. Definitely your character's fault. He turns on the light. Without waiting for your character to wake up (he got, like, 2 hours of sleep) he takes the abdominal binder off, revealing a bandage that covers the front of his abdomen. There is some blood visibly seeping through it. The surgeon pulls this bandage off. This is the first time the character sees the new incision. It is probably 14 inches long, and goes down the center of his belly, making a neat little curve around his navel. It is held together with a lot of staples. There is also the place where the bullet went in (and presumably one on the other side where it came out). This is held together with skin glue. The surgeon puts the call light on so the nurse can come back in and re-dress the incision site.

0700: It's been shift change for 30 minutes now, which is how long the call light has been on. A nurse aide comes in and asks what your character needs. She gets a set of vitals and the character asks for pain medication. The incision has started to hurt now that the abdominal binder is off and there i an ache that is deeper too. He also says he's cold. The nurse aid gets him a pair of worn blue scrub pants to wear under his gown and a warm blanket. She says she will tell the nurse that he needs pain medication. She empties his urinal.

0800: The nurse comes in with the pain medication, finally. The character looks at it longingly as the nurse does her assessment, listening to his breathing (breathing in deeply hurts) his abdomen (which seems like forever) and his heart. She takes pulses, asks if he has passed gas yet or feels nauseated. He says no.

The nurse says he has crackles in his lungs, which isn't uncommon for the day after surgery. His temperature is also a little up, but it's also probably because of the small amount of fluid in his lungs from not moving. She hands him a small device called an incentive spirometer and teaches him how to use it. She tells him to hold a pillow against his stomach because it will make him cough. He tries it, it hurts like heck. She tells him to do it ten times per hour. She examines the wound and puts a bandage and abdominal binder back on. Finally, she gives him the pain medication.

0900: The nurse comes back with morning medication. She gives him a medication for his stomach, acetaminophen, and an IV antibiotic, which she explains is given to everyone who has trauma surgery. She says physical therapy and social work will come at some time today and also a cop wants to see him about the person who shot him.

1000: Physical therapy comes in. There are two of them and they are very efficient. One of them walks him in the hall while the other follows behind with a wheelchair. When they get back to the room, he is wiped, but they sit him in the chair and tell him to stay there for as long as he can.

1100: The nurse aide comes by and asks if he'd like to order lunch. He realizes he never had breakfast. "Ordering lunch" turns out to be picking his choice of broth, jello, and flavored ice. He is hungry and asks when he can have real food. The nurse aide says she will ask his nurse.

1200: He "eats" or rather drinks lunch. It is good to have something on his stomach and he's feeling relatively okay thanks to the pain medication. No one has come back to tell him about real food. After lunch, he's really tired and tries to take a nap.

1300: The social worker comes in, wakes him up, and asks a bunch of questions, mostly about if he feels safe at home. Once it's relatively clear this gunshot wound was a one off thing and he won't be going to long term care, she seems to lose interest. She gives him her card and tells him to call her if he needs anything.

1400: The cops come in. There's two of them. They wake him up again. They ask about who shot him. He doesn't have a lot of information to give them and they also seem to lose interest pretty quickly. The nurse aide takes his vitals again. His temperature has come down.

1500: The surgeon's nurse practitioner comes in with his nurse from earlier, opens the abdominal binder again and takes off the bandages to look at the incision site. Nothing has really changed since this morning, but putting on and taking off the binder is a lot of effort and really he just wants to sleep at this point. They ask him how lunch and physical therapy went and he tells them. They ask if he's passed gas yet. Maybe he did? He's not sure. They say they'll probably keep him overnight again for more IV antibiotics and to make sure he can eat. The nurse practitioner listens to his abdomen again, this time it doesn't take as long. They put his bandages and binder back on.

1600: He asks for more pain medication. Once again, it takes about an hour to get. He also gets another IV antibiotic and more acetaminophen. The nurse aide comes by to take his dinner order, which is still clear liquids.

1700: During dinner he passes gas. He puts his call light on to tell the nurse. The nurse aide says she'll pass the message along. A half hour later the nurse sticks her head in and asks if he wants some pudding for dessert, considering it's too late to order anything from the cafeteria but they did change his diet order to full liquids now that things are moving.

1800: He enjoys some pudding and ice cream.

1900: He tries to take another nap, but a new nurse aide comes in to get his vitals again. He manages to fall asleep after that.

2000: He sleeps

2100: His new nurse comes in, introduces herself, does her assessment, and gives him night medications.

2200: He asks for pain medication again.

2300: Just as he falls asleep again, the nurse comes in to take blood. She's a good stick but his arms are already impossibly bruised up from the previous 20 or so sticks he's gotten in the last 36 hours. She still gets him in one try.

0000: He sleeps

0100: He is woken by someone screaming down the hall.

0200: Someone is having a very loud night.

0300: His nurse comes in. His labs came back and his potassium is low. She hangs a bag of potassium on his IV pole and hooks it up to his IV. She tells him it will probably sting, and if it’s too bad to let her know.

0400: The arm with the IV in it aches and he still can’t sleep. The person down the hall has stopped screaming finally at least.

0500: The nurse aide comes in and asks if he would like to order breakfast. All he wants to do is go home.

[sweetiesicheng]

hoshi - hospital

word count : 528

-

you wake up and find yourself in a hospital room. you're feeling pretty tired and see a cast on your leg. you just had surgery on your leg due to an old sports injury that eventually got worst with time.

when you turn your head, you notice your husband laying his head on your bed. you reach over and run your hand through his hair, causing him to lift his head up after a minute or two.

instantly, hoshi smiles at you. "hi pretty," he greets and sits up properly. he glances at the time on the clock on the wall. "oh, i fell asleep for awhile," he mentions before looking back at you.

"what are you doing here?" you ask, "shouldn't you be at rehearsal? where's your mom?" you had full on expected to see your mother-in-law instead of your husband in the room.

"we finished a lot earlier than expected for today. my mom went to our place to cook food since i'd probably destroy the kitchen. she’s making a bunch of side dishes for us too," he explains. "how do you feel?" he asks, now holding your hand.

"pretty tired," you answer. "pain doesn't feel that horrible right now," you add. "thank goodness for medication."

hoshi chuckles and adjusts your blanket for you. "do you need me to get anything for you? the nurse will probably be by soon too," he says.

"some water," you request.

hoshi gets up from his chair and grabs your water bottle, which is on a movable podium in the room. he opens it for you and hands it to you. you drink some water before handing the bottle back to him.

"anything else?" hoshi asks while closing your bottle and placing it against the back of his chair.

you smile, "i'm fine. thank you, sweetie," you say to him. hoshi sits back down and scoots the chair closer to you. "how was rehearsal for the tour?" you ask.

"it went good. we just adjusted stuff mainly since the shows are a little shorter." hoshi grabs your hand again, rubbing his thumb in circles on the back of your hand. "sorry i wasn't here the whole time," he apologizes to you.

"don't worry about it, babe. i was going to have to get surgery eventually," you reply with a laugh. "the medication is just making me really loopy," you mention.

"i noticed," hoshi says with a smile.

"did you take the kids with you to practice? or are they with my parents?" you ask him.

"they're with the guys. it's been awhile since they've seen them, and joshua offered to take them out to eat and bring them home later. mom will watch them, and your parents are coming over to help out too," hoshi answers.

"i'll be home in a few days, but i bet the three of them already miss me," you say.

hoshi smiles, "well, they do love their momma." he leans over and kisses your cheek, "and i love their momma too."

you laugh, "i would sure hope so, soonyoung." hoshi laughs too. "love you."

"love you too," he says and kisses you again.

[cymothoid]

i noticed a bunch of moots are about to donate their tits to pathology like i did. so heres a post for you.

ROCH'S TOP SURGERY ESSENTIALS:

bathrobe/housecoat/kimono/whatever. you need A Robe. trust me

dry shampoo and wipes. youre gonna feel sooooo gross by day 3.

box of your favorite snacks from nuts.com or somesuch for easy access

a nice fancy instant ramen for easy meals. not maruchan. mild Jin Ramen was my soup of choice and i went through a lot of it. get some chopped veg and presliced meat to zhuzh it up

roll of vet tape (for making a Drain Holster for the shower)

adhesive removal wipes (VERY IMPORTANT you cannot BELIEVE how raw youre gonna feel after peeling off twenty thousand of those fuckin tegaderms. trust me)

peri bottle (good when you dont have a lot of flexibility yet.)

one of those back pillows with the arms that you can prop yourself up on. good for my fellow side sleepers

a gatorade and an egg drop wonton soup right after the surgery. manna from heaven. gatorade in general is a good thing to have, but also drink a ton of water

the day right after surgery is the worst. take those painkillers the SECOND you wake up and then crawl back into bed.

optional but youre gonna want to try getting out of bed with JUST your core muscles, no arms involved. do some crunches if you want. getting up from a dumbbell chest press is good practice

steel yourself for the drains. its gross. i know its gross. there might be a chunk, its fine. just remember, its yours. you made that. it'd be worse if it was someone ELSE'S drain juice and/or weird chunk. you remember this fact and youll be fine.

enjoy my wisdom

[squiddy-god]

Task force T4T

Jhonny "soap" McTavish

Ok so apparently this needs to be a series (: anyway some people are really weird about trans!Soap and really fetishize it. So I would like to re-state that I AM A TRANS MAN. Also if you fetishize trans!Soap or any other trans people you are weird and I wish you the worst <3 also this is meant for trans men specifically, I don't care who interacts but keep in mind this is for trans men. I will probably make a x transfem version! 

Tw : dysphoria, nsfw under cut, tooth rotting fluff, transphobia, t4t, mlm, trans soap x trans masc reader, periods, pre bottom surgery implied, period sex. 

God gives the fattest tits to his most trans masc of soldiers 

Soap has recently gotten top surgery and he loves it 

His scars aren't very noticeable but he really doesn't care, he's just glad to have them gone. 

Soap still wears his binders sometimes tho they don't really bind any more for him it's more to feel connected to that part of himself

Soap isn't concerned about passing as Cis, he's very proud that he's trans 

Has a Scottish🏴󠁧���󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 flag over his right peck and has a slightly smaller trans flag over his ribs on the left side 

It's on his ribs so he has a excuse to show off his abbs smh

A lot like ghost there are so many ways that you could meet but I'll give you a few that I really like

One is the basics, he saw you at the bar across the way, drinking or not, your hanging out with friends having a grand time and soap is just smitten

He's confident and he'll be damned if he lets such a handsome man pass him by. So he walks up and asks to buy you a drink, “can a buy ye’ a drink” you assumed that the handsome Scott was asking one of your friends till he looked right at you, beaming blue eyes locked in and laser focused “cannae let a braw man like yer’self get away” 

Johnny comes on strong and playful, just enough to make you laugh and let him buy you a pint while he sweet talks you. 

He honestly hadn't noticed your pride pin but once he does he's all smiley and pulling up his shirt to show his tattoo 

Alright number two is your his neighbor! He's not home super often but he's always really nice when he is home, and he won't like he has a bit of a puppy crush on you, talk a bunch about his handsome neighbor. Well one day he's on medical leave for a while, almost blew himself up on a mission and has a bit of nerve damage that needs to heal up. You saw him come home early in the morning when you're leaving for work and decided to do something nice! Made him some bloody good cookies 

The second he opened his door you see you, his good looking neighbor with a batch of cookies in hand he thought he'd died and gone to heaven. 

Meanwhile he was in his binder and a pair of shorts

 You knock on the door, a bit on the nervous side considering this would be the first real time you've talked to your neighbor outside of a few polite conversations checking the mail. Yet here you are with fresh cookies in your plastic tupperware container. True be told it didn't take Johnny long to Answer, undoing the latch and opening the door wide to be met with you, the guy he'd been (not so) subtly pinning after. Johnny was casual, mohawk cropped a bit lower than normal since he'd only just gotten back, and his chest covered by an ever so slightly loose fitting binder. It was plain black, coming just down his ribs almost like a crop top and showing off the hair of his stomach just below his navel. 

Soap is a hairy guy, the T really does wonders for his hair, he's also been on T for a while 

Has never liked needles and prefers to use gel or patches if he can help it. 

He also eats a diet with a lot of trace testosterone in it and that helps 

Thighs like a fur carpet smh 

He owns a few binders, a plain black one, a black tank top binder that looks more like a compression shirt, and of course, his favorite Scottish flag binder. He also has custom binders that match the tartans of the kilts he has. 

Absolutely has gotten into a bar fight with a transphobe and it will absolutely happen again. 

All of his sisters were definitely his biggest supporters growing up. 

“What're yer pronouns so I ken how to cuss ye out” type behavior 

The two of you have matching silly binders with fun patterns on them 

Soap is an irregular period haver, that shit has a schedule no man could figure out. He tries to track it, but it just happens whenever it wants and feels like it. 

Has had two periods in a month. 

Luckily they tend to be short. Unluckily they are heavy. Not really painful but just heavy. 

Gets super exhausted during his period. 

Military grade pain killers hit different 

Loves hand rubs because he has a bit of nerve damage after being a demolition expert for so long

He also has a significant amount of hearing loss on his left side so he always turns right when you're talking so he can hear better. 

Works out at the gym because he doesn't give a flying fuck. Definitely likes to be at home to work out tho because he can do pushups where your under him and he gets a lil kiss when he comes down. Sit ups get kisses too<3 

Had a transphobic bully in highschool and basically dedicated his free time to the gym. By the end of the second year he absolutely clocked the guy.

No one messed with him since. 

Soap who loves to draw you, has a notebook basically dedicated to you and every single way he could draw you (wink wonk)

Likes when you ruffle his mohawk 

Likes it more when it's after you squeeze his arms

He's a show off 💪:3💪

Soap deals with his dysphoria pretty well for the most part, although when he is dysphoric he works out a lot- and he seeks out your comfort. 

Those silly pairs of boxers make him less dysphoric, they make him feel more like the teenage boy he never really saw himself as. Has a pair that say choking hazard and he wiggles his eye brows every time he puts them on 

Literally one of the best hype men when your dysphoric he talks you up with the same energy of a frat boy psyching up his best pall

Gets oddly possessive when you wear his boxers (please do he loves it) like yeah that's right, that his man 

Nsfw//

Going off of the boxers thing it also makes his really horny 

Soap gets hard pretty easy tho, and the more comfortable he is with you the higher his sex drive. 

Absolutely worships you, especially when you're dysphoric, he loves nothing more than haveing you ride his thigh while he calls you his handsome man, his good boy. 

Soap loves to fuck you, soap “always strapped up” mactavish 

But he also likes period sex, he's kinda nasty, likes when it's messy regardless but period sex is extra messy. 

Absolutely finger blasts you till the towel looks like a war zone 💀 

Really likes to be fucked on his period too, he Letts you have a bit more control then normal but don't be fooled he's a power bottom at best. 

Likes to put his finger in your mouth and really loves when you bite em a little 

Soap dose not care about hair, he is pretty hairy himself although he is well groomed, but he honestly doesn't care. 

Will absolutely man handle you regardless of size, soap is a big man and he trains hard for those 💪💪

Really goes wild with the dirty talk

“Cannae even take my fingers? How'er ye supposed to take mah cock ey?”

The accent definitely gets thicker the more horny he gets 

Loves when you give his T-dick head because he also is shoving his fingers down your throat for the effect™

[tae-rambles]

OP ch 1125 SPOILERS

my reaction as i read:

so i guess finding Minamoto will be Yamabro's next mission

also i'm glad to see Oden's castle being rebuilt but shouldn't there be like a gigantic crater from Kaido blasting it and then Shinobu using her fruit?

is Lucci protecting Stussy or did Kaku lie to him? based on Kaku's expression i'm betting on the latter

the vice admirals look like children who were caught doing something bad and called in front of the principal lol

oh, this is so funny... Saturn ordering to study Emet in secret is fkin hilarious

also, this is a confirmation that Saturn got the eternal youth surgery like Imu (though the "youth" part is debatable lol) and we can infer the others got it too most likely (that doesn't mean that they are from the oid Century though - remember how they talked about the Nika fruit like it's a legend for them? it's very possible these Gorosei aren't the original ones. i do believe Imu is from the VC tho)

Doberman, aren't you a vice admiral? one would think he'd already know not to ask such questions lol

still wondering what the glare attack is tho. it doesn't seem to be haki since there's no lightning to provide a visual cue for us but who knows... Oda might not be adding the lightning just to confuse us

huh? Edison? he's still alive :D ! (of course he is..) but also wtf just happened? Edison i love your genius brain so much! that's one less victory for the World Government (suck it York! and Gorosei! >:D)

seeing Tenryubito suffer (if it can even be called suffering) brings smile to my face

holy shit! Garling! omg... are they gonna kill Saturn?

also, does he even know anything about science? (although... judging by the current state of the world... one doesn't need to know anything about a subject to be in charge of it...)

Garling really just said "how do you do fellow kids" lol

and the rest of the Gorosei don't look very happy lol i wonder if there's a hidden meaning behind the last reaction shot being Peter's... might the traitor theory be true?

oh that was beautiful! rest in piss Saturn ^-^ i'm so glad it wasn't quick and painless >:)

damn, only bones left (i so need to know wtf is going on with Imu's powers)

the rest of the Satellites! :D

lmao what is that

you do indeed have lovely proportions Shaka lol

oh hi Haredas :D of course they know each other

my darling husband Sabo is connecting the dots he's so smart

(Iva too) so Tequila Wolf isn't the only one... i'm guessing there's one for each Blue (and why tf are they all named after alcoholic drinks)

Dragon always the realist

for a breather chapter in-between arcs a bunch of big stuff happened and were revealed. just seeing Saturn die painfully made this an excellent chapter lol

[callmesel]

I zone out when I was in the shower and had a full AU idea

Fred is a terminally ill cancer patients and has one last chance to "survive" and is a high risk surgery where they need a high compatible donor.

The first thought it's for George to help him, as they are twins and are basically genetically identical. However, George can't do the surgery because he just got out of a terrible accident that leaves him too weak for that type of surgery but good enough to continue his life as "normal" (he still has to take a bunch of different pills so his immune system is full of those different elements that can become a health hazard to Fred if they proceed with the surgery)

For plot convenience tbh, none of the other Weasleys are good enough candidates so they are desperate to save Fred. They are a family of fighters, they are not gonna let Fred just die. There is one family member that could save Fred and that is Percy.

Percy left the family after a heavy fight with Arthur were, after none stop rumours of Percy 'sleeping' his way into his position into the government and of making fun of his family with other high executives, accuse him of such acts. Percy offended and hurt, leaves, saying that his boss was right and that they are just keeping him from truely take off. That happened over 3 years ago and no one knew where Percy was.

So George, taking matters in his own hands, was determined to track down his older brother to save his twin.

Thanks that Ron and his bf Harry worked in the police force, they could see that Percy was still in the country and that he probably was still on England.

George disguised himself as a brunette and even got help to change his face (fake piercing, tattoos, marks) anything to make it more difficult to recognise. And after a long play were they manage to find Oliver Wood, who's Percy's friend, after jumping all around the place.

They are in a high class event, that shock George, and he sees Percy so he slowly approached him. All that pain from all those years were about to erup on him when he saw something, Percy looked happy?

Months goes by and George and Percy become friends (Percy did not know that he was talking with his brother) and George finally builts the courage to ask about his family. He finds out that Percy has a wife and two beautiful twin girls and that he is going great. But then, he starts taking about the Weasleys. George is prepare to hear awful things about them, but no. Percy is not saying nothing hurtful about them. In fact, it sounded like they were a great family. But then again, things take a turn and Percy, drunk because they were drinking at his house, opens up about the fight and George discovers much more.

How he felt ignore by everyone just for carrying the Weasley name, how he felt disconnected from them some one. It was too much to bare for George so he told who he actually was and Percy was astonished. He screams and begs for George to leave. He pushes him to the door but right before closing it George manage to speak and starts telling him all that has happened and that Fred is dying from cancer and that he needed his help.

That stops Perce for a second but then Audrey, his wife, asks him if everything is all right, and Percy gors back to himself and closed the door on Georges face.

George screams at his door and tells him that he knew that he was a coward all along. That he is selfish and a p*ssy and that he is ashamed to has a bastard as his brother.

A week goes by and George finds Percy at his door. He was about to close it but they start chatting and there is allt of frustration going on that lead to no where so Percy leaves again.

I don't know how it ends because like I said, I made this on the fucking spot as I showered and I'm trying to recall everything I was imagining. (I'm my head it was a beautiful animation with Die with a smile at the background) I didn't imagine a scene of Percy visiting Fred in secret and being caught by Charlie who was visiting to try to see if he was compatible (bc he couldn't do the test before) and Charlie decides that he is not gonna tell anyone and talk to Fred first.

I think that Fred should die at the end, to ass more salt to the wound so yeah. Hurt and no comfort, love that.

I want Fred to meet Percy's girls and be excited but passing away anyway. i want them to bond and then die or smt like that. Might write a fic about it.

[pfhwrittes]

riffing off the poll i reblogged re: your blorbos doing top surgery. so these are some vague headcannons on how the members of tf141 would look after a reader post top surgery.

pairings: gaz x reader, soap x reader, simon x reader (romantic), john price & reader (platonic).

warnings: gaz refers to reader as babe and calls the reader handsome.

note: i’ve written this reader to be a trans man but can be read as anyone who wants top surgery. also i am firmly in the camp that you DON’T have to have surgery to be considered transgender or to have your gender respected. fuck knows it’s a hard enough process here in the UK, i can’t imagine my healthcare being stuck behind what is essentially a paywall.

gaz would be a sweetheart. he’d get you drinks and painkillers. he’d move your cushions/pillows around as much as you wanted. he’d pretend not to see when you burst into tears over pain/relief/a weird sense of mourning and fear. he’d even help you to the bathroom and linger outside the door (unlocked, he’d insist on it being unlocked) in case you need help with anything. the man gets your favourite takeaway and doesn’t make a fuss when you only eat a little bit of it because you’re feeling a bit nauseous from the meds you’re on. checks on your drains and dressings and soothes you when you catch sight of the swelling. he reassures you with forehead and cheek kisses when you’re upset and reassures you with a gentle babe you’re so handsome and brave, i can’t wait for you to show off your chest when you’re feeling better.

price would handle it from a more professional perspective (i am not saying reader would be in the military but i am saying that the man deals with paperwork most of the time anyway so he’d handle it for your work). he’s already sent off copies of your medical note from the surgeon, he’s filled in the paperwork to get sick pay. less hands on than gaz (but that’s only because i can’t see price with a trans man in a romantic or sexual way) so he doesn’t overstep but as your friend he’ll bring you food if you ask and painkillers too. checks in with you and sends you book recommendations, music recommendations and the occasional meme (don’t try to tell me he wouldn’t send you memes. that man is a millennial he knows what a fucking meme is) when you’re well enough to complain about being bored.

simon would be kind of a dick about it. listen i don’t make the rules but he would. he’s supportive enough. he’d give you a ride back from the hospital and get you to wherever is the most comfortable but he’s a bit shit at looking after you (the man has no practice outside of emergency medical care). you’d have to text him to get you a drink or painkillers. healthy nutritious food? no. what flavour pot noodle do you want? never mind you’re getting a bombay bad boy because that’s all he’s got in the cupboard. emotionally he’s not great at expressing how he’s feeling about your recovery so he comes across as gruff but that’s mostly because he’s repressing a whole bunch of trauma and fear that things won’t go well. he won’t touch you apart from holding your hand when you ask because he’s worried he’ll mess up your stitches but still it comes across as a bit cold.

soap the darling man is just so fucking excited for you. it’s a bit much actually while you’re still recovering and yeah you end up snapping and it hurts his feelings a little but he’ll try to play it off as not a big deal. he’s just so happy for you (and for himself because he cannot wait to get his hands on you now that you’ll let him because your chest is the way you want it)! super affectionate, peppers you with kisses all over your face. he’s similar to gaz in that he’s all about making you as comfortable as possible and tries to preempt any requests you have (gets you bottles of water and can of irn-bru because that’s what he always wants when he’s feeling under the weather, grabs you as many snacks as you want). unlike gaz he’s enough of a freak to insist on being in the bathroom with you when you need to go, he says it’s to make sure you’re safe but he’s definitely using it as an excuse to touch you as much as possible until you’re fully healed up.

[skiptomy]

Y'all I don't know what the fuck to do right now. My cat Avalene, who I've had since she was a kitten, has started to get so anxious around our other two cats. We're not sure what started it but it's gotten worse over the last six months.

We've taken her to the vet a bunch, we've gotten her a special diet, had her on meds, got pheromone plug ins, made sure all the cats had plenty of play time, they have fancy litter boxes and they are cleaned regularly.

But she clearly has a bladder issue and won't stop peeing on the floor, on any clothes or towels or blankets she can find, she pees on the couch, and worst of all, on beds, even when you are in them.

She's still eating, she drinks normally, she's active and still just as loving as ever. I cannot overstate how much I love this cat and how much it breaks my heart that we are even starting to consider that she just might need to be re-homed. If she would be happier and healthier in a single pet home that's just what we need to do.

Our only other option is probably surgery and daily anxiety meds, but that's not something we can afford. Right now I'm late on rent and haven't had money to buy groceries except like ramen and canned chicken at the dollar store. I would give my whole fuckin world for this cat but there's no saying that she'll be okay after all that. I just feel so hopeless about everything, and I don't know what to do.

[jess-moloney]

I’m not claiming that I know Jamie better then anyone, but I’ve met him multiple times over the 15 years I’ve known him, and through every girlfriend he has ever had, Jess was always the one where I never liked her from the beginning. The first time she was introduced gave me so many red flags and the ick. No history, no socials other then instagram, (now her twitter was found but I’m talking about at the time) and Jamie fans instantly linking onto her like she’s better then Jamie? “Mommy goth queen” or “Witch Queen to his Witch King” but never any of his other Girlfriends were like this (as much as I have seen) She looks like a gold digger from day 1, and whenever she was around at Con’s, he looked so uncomfortable or scared to speak? Like yeah he can mask a lot but I know when someone is faking a smile, it’s in the eyes. Jamie is finally back to his happy self, and I can’t be more proud and grateful that whatever happened she is gone. I looked at her tattoos, a lot of them are witchcraft tattoos. She might have used black mail, witchcraft, or other things to keep him as long as she did.

But who knows? Thoughts?

I know what you mean about the instant bad vibes. Just looking at her, there's something off about her eyes and her smile. Just the way that she is. She's a total pick me, try hard, "not like other girls", main character syndrome, type. Everything about her screams that she needs to be the center of attention and that much is obvious because no one gets their entire body tattooed like that (and then gets a bunch of cosmetic surgery to look like a goblin) if they don't want people to stare at them all the time.

Anyone else he has been with seemed much more natural and mutual and if we are just comparing this to his relationship with Ruby she definitely seemed to be much softer and more genuine. The love between them seemed mutual not one sided.

There's never been a picture like this with Jamie and Jess. Not even close. The best we've ever seen is Jamie gazing at Jess with adoration while she either eye fucks herself in the mirror or eye fucks herself in the phone, paying little to no attention to Jamie. All Jess has ever cared about is being seen with him, but not being with him. If she gave a damn about him she wouldn't drink, take him to a bar for his birthday, or use him for social media clout.

As for her tattoos, I only know that one of them is associated with witchcraft. Has she used that on him? I don't know, couldn't tell you. I wouldn't be surprised if she's blackmailed him, abused him, or gotten him into some sort of legal situation (like debt) that he can't easily get out of just by leaving her. The way the fandom instantly jumped on Jess being the perfect goth mommy was absolutely bizarre. I don't know what it is with her but if they are finally over it's a good thing. Jamie needs to stay far away from that woman. She's only going to continue to drag him down.

[taestarii]

❣ admirer - seo moonjo

[seo moonjo x fem reader]

synopsis - moonjo knew less about his target than he thought he did

this is my first moonjo fic! it's really just a rough start to see if my audience likes this and if you do, please request! the people i write for are on my page and if you want someone that isn't there too, feel free to ask! request page here

warning! themes of stalking, swearing, and dentistry tools

"God fucking-" Y/n placed her hand over her cheek in pain.

"Is it that tooth again?" Jieun asked. "You really need to go see that dentist. He stays extra late for you, you know!"

You sighed. "I know, Ji. You know how I feel about tools and stuff, what if he uses a scapel?" You knew it was an over exaggeration, but you also knew they kept them in the office.

"Jesus, it's a toothache not a heart surgery. What a heartthrob of a dentist he is, too! He seems to like you, your living every middle-aged woman's dream." You scoffed. Jieun was being ridiculous, but you knew she was right. You needed to get your tooth checked, and he was undeniably a very attractive man. "Anyways, did you want to stop and get some drinks? There's a place around-"

"Y/n!" Moonjo's voice echoed the walkway, his steps nearing. "It's great to see you! I was hoping you would come into my office today." He seemed so collected for someone who just chased after you. "Ah, I was going to see you tomorrow, my tooth has started aching worse lately." Moonjo gave a bright smile, moonlight reflecting off his pale complexion. "I'm looking forward to seeing you, Y/n."

•

You stood outside of Moonjo's dentist office, debating whether or not to come in. Before you could turn and leave, the door opened and the receptionist walked out. "You must be Y/n! Please, come in." She opened the door and ushered you in.

"Mr. Seo told me he was expecting a beautiful lady, I just knew it was you." You gave her a smile and uttered a thank you as you went to look around. There were pictures up on a shelfshelf, one with an older lady and a bunch of little kids.

"That's me." A hand reached around and pointed at a little boy holding the older woman's hand. "That's Ms. Eom, she's a lovely lady." You snapped back to look at him, his finger his hovering over the picture. "You grew up with her? How nice that you stayed with her." Moonjo looked at you questioningly. "How did you know I live with her?" You hummed, turning away from him.

“I've been in your area before."

•

Moonjo was not a dumb man, far from it. As attracted as he was to you, your close relationship to Junghwa kept him on edge. You were layed out on the dentist chair while Moonjo applied his gloves. "Your tooth is damaged and it's gonna hurt, so I'll go get a mouth number." He gave you a smile before he walked into the back room.

Moonjo may be smart, but you're smarter.

As he was back there he contemplated if he was really about to do this to you. He couldn't lose you, but he couldn't compromise his "family." He looked at you through the cameras for a few more seconds before turning off the cameras and grabbing the anesthetic. "So, Y/-"

"Hello, Mr. Seo."

You were sitting on top of a counter with your legs crossed, his red box open next to you. Scalpel in hand, you glanced up at him.

"What were you going to with that needle, Mr. Seo? If I didn't know any better, that looks like a lot more than a mouth number."

Moonjo was at a loss for words. Y/n laughed at his expression, the expression that told her everything.

"Were you going to sedate me? Perhaps take me back to that god forsaken fourth-floor and subject me to the same fate as Hee-joong? As Seok-yoon?"

"How do you..?"

"I'm far less oblivious than you believe I am, Moonjo. Did you really believe I had a toothache? What about yesterday when me and Jieun happened to be close to your office? All these things that I have done to see you.

It appears you have an admirer."

part 2

[hedgiwithapen]

post-s3, syl and the shade :)

Post season three! massive season three spoilers. Pat sat across from Sylvester, remembering the last time he'd been at Ritchies, trying to sit next to--well. Not him. But the booths really weren't meant to accommodate two grown men side by side. 

"The shakes here are really good," he said, glancing at the menu. "You always liked--"

"Vanilla malts. I remember what I liked, Pat." Sylvester snapped, but softened. "I still like them. Being... indisposed... didn't change that. "

"Glad to hear it," Pat said. "Anything else look good?" After days of hospital food, Pat guessed that just about anything would. 

"Give me a minute."

Pat picked at the edge of the table, still smiling. He looked across the diner to where Yolanda was cleaning the counter, and gave the good old smile and nod to Zeke, who was sitting at the far table with the High school math teacher and ... He was pretty certain it was Father Thomas, from the Catholic church down the road. Zeke waved back. Richard sat two booths back, further from the windows, sipping a cup of tea. 

It was almost like being, well, back in the JSA's lunch room. a bunch of other people he knew and cared about, eating lunch, enjoying their day, and him sitting across from Sylvester, waiting for him to decide. 

"You need another minute?" Maria asked, flipping open her ticket book. 

"I'll have the double bacon cheeseburger, no tomato, no lettuce, no onions, extra cheese, and a Vanilla malt." Sylvester said, without waiting for Pat to nod. 

"Hi, Maria," Pat smiled. "I'll have, uh. The sweet--" he paused for a moment, a flash of memory choosing now to needle him, "Sweet potato fries, and the chicken special?"

"You got it, Pat. Anything to drink?"

"The vanilla malt," Syl reminded her. She waggled her pen. 

"I gotcha."

"Just water's fine, Maria. Thanks." Pat smiled at her again, and she left.

"So." Sylvester said. " You said things were different but I-- didn't expect all this."

"Yeah, it's pretty spectacular," Pat beamed. "I don't know how I got so lucky."

"One way to put it," Sylvester said. "But that's you, Str-- Pat. Always going where you shouldn't--and don't get me wrong, it works out. If you hadn't disobeyed me, the ISA would have got the Staff--"

"Courtney calls it Cosmo," Pat interjected. Sylvester kept going.

"and then they'd have won.  You sure made some choices, but it all worked out in the end."

"It did," Pat said, shifting a little uncomfortably. " and we've been building something really special here."

"Oh, I've seen that. Dragon King's daughter, huh?"

"She helped us save you," Pat said. " She's not like her father." he paused. "Anymore," he amended."

"It seems like there's a lot of that going around." Sylvester said. "You always did want to see the best in people, Pat. You're lucky that didn't get you killed."

"Right," Pat said weakly. 

Maria set down his fries and Syl's malt. Starman pulled the paper off the straw, taking a long slurp.  Pat picked at the fries. 

"So who else is still around? You said Icicle's gone for good this time..."

"Yeah," Pat said. He wasn't aware of the details, and didn't want to be, but he'd known the steadiness in Artemis's voice to be truth. "Obviously you saw Charles after the surgery. Justin should be back in town soon. Courtney even found Wing..."

"I meant our enemies," Sylvester said. Pat saw the Shade's head tilt just a bit as he looked around to see who all had overheard Sylvester. Luckily, the diner was mostly empty, and Father Thomas seemed to have the others at his table's attention. 

"Well. Fiddler and Brainwave are dead. Dragon King is... handled. You know about Ultra Humanite. Gamber's dead too..."

"What about Sportsmaster? wasn't he with that Tigress chick?"

"Crusher and Paula are dead," Pat said, dropping his fry. 

"Crusher? Paula?" Sylvester frowned. "You called them by their real names?"

Pat swallowed. "Yeah," he said, suddenly hoarse. 

"Oh, my god," Syl said, watching Pat's face. " You--that's the same look on your face when Maggie dumped you. You sure know how to pick 'em, bud."

Pat jolted, and the room flickered just briefly as the Shade appeared directly behind Sylvester. 

"That," he said, in his most patient, and most terrifying, voice. "Was entirely uncalled for. You have been nothing but rude to our friend. That I can forgive. But you slight his judgement. You slight Barbara. Little wonder no one could tell the difference between you and Ultrahumanite."

Pat saw the way the light died completely in his friend's eyes. Sylvester twisted, the malt glass sliding perilously close to the edge of the table. 

"Take it back," he snarled at Richard.

"Shan't," Richard said. "It is out of deference to Barbara and Patrick that I do not take you on a field trip you would assuredly not enjoy. Apologize." 

"I am nothing like that monster!" Syl said, lashing out. The malt tipped, soaking into the pile of napkins. "Pat--"

"That wasn't fair," Pat said quietly to Shade. "He won an Oscar. He fooled all of us--"

"He was unkind to you. Just like this lout."

Pat looked at Sylvester, looking at him with more pain in his eyes since he'd woken in the hospital and asked if it had hurt when the ISA had killed him. He'd begged forgiveness for not protecting him. And he'd made his dozens of tiny little jabs. 

It was hard to reconcile the two people--the Sylvester he made excuses for, the Sylvester he loved like a brother. 

"It's ok," he said again.

"It is not--" Richard started.

"It's not," Sylvester said, just as broken.  Pat winced. "No," he agreed. "But... it will be. It can be."