#And I have the keys

[vampireseawitch]

🇧🇷

Mordo suas entranhas,

E você engole meus órgãos.

Um bolo vermelho, mas seu sabor não é morango.

Balões rosas, decoração de coração;

A boneca, sua pele brilhante e linda, dança em sua caixinha.

Madeira rosa, branca e pintada.

Seus olhos, sua mente conturbada.

Abrindo minha barriga, beijando minha boca.

Amando-me no escuro, a insanidade te deixando louca.

O dia escuro, seus olhos incoerentes.

Sua mente é má, e seu coração é puro.

Seus olhos brancos, assim como teus dentes.

Não temos onde ir, morreremos juntos.

Dançamos nas notas, tocando os seus pontos.

Minha melodia é sangrenta e desarmônica.

A sua é quebrada e demoníaca.

Violenta e quebrada,

Por isso é minha amada;

Estamos sozinhos,

Me afogando na minha própria culpa, só vivo com seus carinhos.

Amarrados no véu de nosso casamento,

Nosso amor é pior dos tormentos.

Minhas correntes afrouxadas, conheci a verdade.

Você é minha única e verdadeira liberdade;

Mastigo-te totalmente.

Me esquento nas brasas de seu amor, e finalmente,

Sofreremos na dor.

Celebrando juntos, eternamente.

🇬🇧

I bite your insides,

And you swallow my organs.

A red cake, but its flavor is not strawberry.

Pink balloons, heart decoration;

The doll, her skin shiny and beautiful, dances in her box.

Pink, white and painted wood.

Your eyes, your troubled mind.

Opening my belly, kissing my mouth.

Loving me in the dark, the insanity driving you crazy.

The dark day, your incoherent eyes. His mind is evil, and his heart is pure.

Your eyes are white, just like your teeth.

We have nowhere to go, we will die together.

We dance on the notes, playing their points.

My melody is bloody and disharmonious.

Yours is broken and demonic.

Violent and broken,

That's why you're my beloved; We are alone,

Drowning in my own guilt, I only live with your affection.

Tied in our wedding veil,

Our love is the worst of torments. My chains loosened,

I knew the truth.

You are my only true freedom;

I totally chew you up.

I bask in the embers of your love, and finally,

We will suffer in pain.

Celebrating together, forever.

[rochenn]

I think we should write more straight relationships with 2010s TV queerbait tactics. Let that man and that woman's lives be horribly intertwined, let them take bullets for the other, let them be each other's meaning but NO KISSING. They are holding each other platonically. You're crazy for reading anything romantic into it at all tbh

[mynnthia]

was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.

to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:

kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him

[musubiki]

my favorite fields of mistria boys 🥰

[egophiliac]

buckle up lads we're going BACK INTO THE BOOK

[tricodekus]

Tsukki meets one of his fans (bokuaka child)

[casmick-consequences]

literally the king of oneliners

[part 2]

[civetside]

harrow indirectly feels the warmth of another women for the first time (idk i thought it was really funny last night at 3 am so here we are)

[asurrogateblog]

my favorite part of beach boys lore is that the beatles are the villains

[chatlote]

Not a moment of rest.

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

Hot take maybe but I think Bertie would be FAR more likely to survive the first two months of Dracula than Jeeves would be. Bertie has a healthy sense of self-preservation. Jeeves consistently underestimates how dangerous a situation might get (Steeple Bumpleigh, the club book) because he’s overconfident about his level of control over any given situation. He'd handle Dracula masterfully if they faced off in England, but on Dracula's home turf? Much more doubtful.

I realize this might be a tough sell, so I will explain further (or it's not a tough sell, and I'm going to explain further because I want to). (criteria taken from @canyourfavesurvivecastledracula) Without further ado.

Would Jeeves and Wooster survive Castle Dracula?

Jeeves

Jeeves' survival will depend on how long Dracula finds him more entertaining than irritating. On that basis, I don't think he's long for this world. On the one hand, he has a huge wealth of knowledge about English society and culture that he can recite perfectly from memory. That should buy him at least a little time with noted teaboo Dracula.

On the other hand, he would be absolutely no fun as a vampire plaything. Jeeves cannot be got. Sneaking up on him while he's shaving will yield zero reaction (though that's at least good for his short-term survival--given that, although he DID take the crucifix from the old woman out of politeness, he certainly isn't going to wear it. The rules of fashion don't go out the window just because you're in a spooky castle). Then, although managing the whims of rich jerks is not an insignificant part of a valet's job, Jeeves usually does this by bending his employers to his will. Dracula is not the sort of employer this will work on. It'll just add insult to injury when on top of being impossible to scare, NOW Jeeves is telling Dracula that his favorite cloak is several centuries out of fashion and he's not allowed to wear it anymore.

Jeeves will 100% go exploring in the areas he was told not to go-- though to be fair, he MIGHT actually get away with this, what with his superpower of appearing in rooms without being seen or heard. Said superpower might save him from the brides as well (though this is by no means guaranteed). Since I find it doubtful that Dracula would come to rescue his annoying ass, not being noticed is his best defense.

There are a couple other things working in Jeeves's favor; the question is just whether they'll be enough to save him.

He DOES know shorthand, and could try to send coded letters. He might even have the foresight to squirrel away some extra stationary where Dracula can't find it. But could he get them posted? Would it even do him any good?

He certainly has enough cultural literacy to figure out what his new boss is pretty quickly. If he didn't chuck the crucifix out the carriage window, he might start carrying it around in his pocket.

Psychology of the individual, sure, but the individual in question is a 400-year-old vampire who lives in an isolated castle in a foreign country and is regarded as a terrifying mythological figure in the surrounding villages. Jeeves has never come up against anything this alien before, he's cut off from his normal resources, and opportunities to play people against each other are limited.

He probably has enough upper body strength from all that shrimping and fishing to climb the wall, so he COULD escape if he wanted to, if he survived long enough. It's just, again, that overconfidence, and also Dracula has a vast library full of rare old books that are entirely at his disposal. He's keeping his eyes and ears alert for potential escape strategies, of course, but I don't see him being as desperate to get out as Jonathan was.

There are just a lot of "depends on"s here, and I'm not convinced that luck would shake out in Jeeves's favor, all things considered.

Bertie

Bertie is so perfect for the job of Castle Dracula Prisoner it's like it was made for him. Think about it. Being held against his will in big manor houses comes more naturally to him than breathing. He's afraid of things that are scary. A lifetime of dealing with Aunt Agatha has made him the world's preeminent expert in "curl[ing] up in a ball in the hope that a meek subservience [will] enable [him] to get off lightly." He will NEVER go exploring in places he's been warned away from if nobody is forcing him to (Rev. Aubrey Upjohn's office notwithstanding. There were biscuits in there). He's both fun to talk to and easy to toy with (and extremely English). A+ prisoner. Dracula adores him.

In my opinion, Bertie is at Castle Dracula either because Aunt Agatha got some wires seriously crossed and thinks he’s going to meet an eligible potential bride (I mean, there are certainly brides there), or because Dracula has something Aunt Dahlia wants him to steal (far less likely, given that one of Dracula’s THINGS is famously not owning anything silver). Either way, he's shown himself entirely willing and able to escape down drainpipes if a sitch gets too scaly.

He DOES take the crucifix, and DOES wear it (which is what will save him during the shaving scene, because you KNOW he's going to jump a foot and cut himself like the dickens). He's read enough supernatural goosefleshers to be genre savvy about terrified old women cryptically pushing crucifixes into one's hands. I also think his sunny disposish endeared him to the villagers, and they were particularly vehement about urging him not to go. He doesn't speak German or Romanian, but he's empathetic enough to recognize Pure Terror. So by the time he actually gets to the castle, his imagination is already running wild and he's plenty aware that he is in imminent danger.

I think the biggest risk to Bertie will be the brides; whether or not he's susceptible to trances, if he thinks they're trying to marry him, it's against the code of the Woosters to turn them down. But that only becomes an issue if he comes face to face with them, which, luckily, I think is unlikely on account of the aforementioned "won't go exploring" (and if he did, Dracula would definitely rescue him).

I'm inclined to say due to his drainpipe-escape habits that he WOULD be able to climb the wall and MAY attempt to sneak into Dracula's room to look for the keys if his desperation grows to outweigh his fear. Whether he does or not, though, he does NOT have the stomach to attempt shovel murder, and therefore won't get magic brain fever, and may very well simply walk out the front doors when the people come to take the boxes away. OR he climbs his way out like Jonathan did. Either way.

When Bertie tells this story at the Drones later, Tuppy will say that no doubt it's been greatly exaggerated and all that probably happened was that he spent a couple months in an oldish house entertaining a weird loner.

[kokokoula]

a/n: i was inspired by @blockedbykei's fic over here because tsukki's hands TT. thank you so much for posting it <3

--

you're absolutely in love with tsukishima's hands. when you hold hands, you sometimes get reminded of how massive they are compared to yours. interlacing your fingers with his, yours reaches just past his knuckles.

you're curling into him in his bed as he reads a book in one hand, while you're fiddling with the other. his fingers are long and slender, and you don't know how else to describe it but "a work of art". they are the exact ones that wrap around your wrist as he pulls you along with him through a crowd, the ones that you bandage together when he needs help, and the ones that weave through your hair during makeout sessions. of course, you can't resist the urge to press your lips against the tips of them, each and every one. although his hands are callous from his intense volleyball training, they still retain some sort of softness, some sort of comfort to them.

just as you placed the last kiss on his pinky, kei pulls away to flick your forehead, something he has a habit of doing, but he always rubs the spot with his thumb at the end.

"don't you have anything better to do?" he gives a snarky response without leaving his eyes off of the book, but his hand comes back to rest on your lap. and if you look up at him, you'd notice him smiling.

"actually, now that you mentioned it, i do have homework due." you tease, making a show of removing his hand from you and standing up from the bed. he finally turns to you, rolling his eyes and letting out a sigh in exasperation. you stumble back into the bed as he pulls you by the arm and traps you with his legs. you laugh.

"you're so annoying." this time the book is now forgotten and lays open on the bed. he has his arms wrapped around you from behind, nestling his face on your shoulder. he takes your hands in his assertive yet reassuring ones, holding onto them tightly.

sure, you love his hands, but you love him much more.

[nyancrimew]

great news everyone!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

All he knows is flirt with men and lie.

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[crabsnpersimmons]

Your chef Sun is so interesting to me. If he ever has a crush he will deny it, right? Or not acknowledge it at all. Or maybe, I wonder if he'll be confused?

hehehe great question! i think he would be confused but... i think he would realize something about himself, just a little spark of something new and unfamiliar but something that's confused him for a long time now

*this is a memory of the DCA's late Boss, the previous owner of the restaurant they now own

BONUS:

a little context below the cut (cuz this post is long enough already!)

The DCA's late Boss was the previous owner of the restaurant. he was the one who found them after their PizzaPlex fell to ruin, and he brought them in and taught them how to cook. he's sort of a pseudo-father-figure to them.

he was a very passionate guy, he loved cooking and loved his late wife. and that piqued Sun's curiosity—to love someone even after they have passed. so along with teaching the boys how to cook, he also taught Sun about love. of course, Sun struggled to understand, but Boss always believed Sun would some day.

[egophiliac]

(looks at upcoming card releases)

I'm in danger :)