#And I definitely can't finish them this month :/ I wanted to tbh that was the plan so I'm a bit sad

[eldrtchmn]

Commission update 🖊️

I plan to start all the remaining b&w portraits this week, then reopen 3-4 slots with a late October/early November starting time

And like usual the slots will be available on my Ko-fi

[lovedrruunk]

It would be so cool if you could write a venture x reader where Y/N is too nervous to speak to Venture so Mercy wingmans for them‼️

‘The best wingwoman ! ଘ(˵╹ᴗ╹)━☆

Venture (Overwatch) x GN reader

Authors note!; super cute request!!! Did I tell u guys I'm a mercy main…. DISGUSTING I KNOW!! But I also main Ana so it cancels out… also tbh there’s a lot of requests that I haven’t gotten to *YET* simply bc idk how to go about them :( but this one came to me rlly easily !! Ty!!! also finished this whole thing while listening to phantom of the opera on repeat for 2 hours (i need 2 write a moira fic omg...) UPDATE: HELLO??? THE MERCY MYTHIC? okok ill stfu now sry!!

Earlier today, you were dragged to a work party by your colleague and guardian angel, Angela Ziegler. You begged her to let you stay home, but she refused, saying she wouldn't be able to go without you since you were the only coworker she actually enjoyed spending time with. And so, being the amazing friend you are, of course, you agreed to go to keep her company!... Just kidding!

Angela knew you too well. Once she mentioned that the cutie from the Wayfinder Society was attending, you did a complete 180, now asking her what you should wear. She couldn't help but laugh at your reaction, amused at how predictable you were when it came to romance.

Sloane Cameron, also known as Venture, also known as the cutie from the Wayfinder Society, had quickly captured your attention ever since you first met them a couple of months ago when the Wayfinder Society was adopted by Overwatch as a sub-branch. Being the head anthropologist for Overwatch led you to spending a good amount of time with Venture and their team. Granted, it was just work and sharing data and all that, but you couldn't help but find them super intriguing. They were funny, lively, and so passionate about their work! But as badly as you wanted to get to know them, you just couldn't. Their confidence was a blessing and a curse, being the cause of why you liked them and the cause of why you were so terrified of talking to them.

Every week or so, you and Angela meet up at the cafeteria at Overwatch's headquarters to catch up while drinking your morning coffee/tea/whatever, which you of course just use as time to gush about your overwhelming crush on your new coworker. But last week... last week, you had decided enough was enough. You made a promise to Angela that by next week, you would at least ask them if they'd want to hang out outside of work. Feeling pumped and confident, you had excitedly gotten all dolled up for the party.

And now, here you were. The party was in an old Victorian mansion with lots of expensive art and chandeliers, nothing less for Overwatch, of course. The first time you had attended a work party, you were extremely underdressed, assuming it was a casual get-together, not at all expecting it to be an elegant and serious "ball" like party. You cringed at the memory before Angela snapped you out of it, handing you a glass of champagne.

"So? Is today the day?" she questions as she leans against the back wall you had been standing next to.

"I don't know, Angela..." you whined as you not so discreetly stared at them from across the room.

It was the first time you had seen them in formal attire, and you couldn’t help but admire how they looked good in everything.

"Go ask them to dance!" She suggested happily.

"What!? No way! I can't dance, especially not with them!"

“Oh, don't give me that! The worst they could say is no."

"'No' is definitely not the worst they could say. They could say 'get away from me' or 'why are you talking to me about something other than rocks' or 'your foundation doesn't match your neck.. and no I would rather drop dead than dance with you'."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm serious!- Wait!! Did you see that? They smiled at the new rookie! What if they like her!? What if they came here together!? What if they're dating!? Married!!? Oh my god, and now they're chatting it up with Tiff from communications! They're laughing, what's so funny!?"

"You have got to be kidding me..."

"Right!? She's not even funnier than me..."

Catching you off guard, Angela grips your shoulders, forcing you to face her.

"Shut up," she says sternly, fighting off the urge to smack you in the face. "Just ask them. You'll never know until you do... And if you don't, I owe that infuriating geneticist twenty bucks..." She murmurs the last part to herself angrily.

"Y'know what? You're right!"

You quickly finish the glass of champagne, putting it on the table next to you. Feeling encouraged by your friend, you take a deep breath before marching towards Venture... right before turning your heel and marching straight back to Angela.

"I feel like I'm gonna throw up..."

"You haven't even said anything!!!"

After a bit of back and forth, Angela is fed up and tells you that if you weren't going to do anything about it, then she will.

As she makes her way towards Venture, you whisper yell at her, begging her to come back and let you give it another try. But knowing you, she decides to ignore your desperate pleas as she continues to happily strut towards them.

From the distance, you can't make out what they're talking about, and it's driving you nuts. Angela's back is facing you, but Venture's face lights up, so you decide to take that as a good sign. And just as you start to smile... Angela turns around and points at you.

You freeze in place for what felt like a year before your eyes focus again. Venture is grinning as they wave to you, and Angela uses her hand to call you over. You force a wide smile (not aware of how crazy you look) as you timidly walk up to the two of them.

"Y/N! I was just mentioning to our sweet Cameron over here how you love to dance! They've never been to a party like this, isn't that crazy!"

"Yeah!! Wayfinder never had the funding by itself to afford something like this! I've never really had a reason to learn how to dance, so I have no clue; was hoping you could teach me!?"

"Me? Oh, sorry! I don't know how to dance!"

"But... Dr. Ziegler just said.."

"I know! Poor little Angie... ever since her last birthday, her memory has been terrible!! Must've confused me with Lena!"

You could feel the death glare Angela was giving you, but you continued to smile innocently at them.

"Well... I guess this would be a good opportunity for us to learn, don't ‘cha think?" Of course. Of course, they would somehow find a solution to your excuse.

"Great idea!!" Angela claps her hands together happily. "Why don't you two head to the dance floor? You'll only learn from experience!"

"I agree!"

Before you can say anything, you're dragged by the hand of a very excited Venture, and although your palms are sweaty and your head is spinning, you can't help but feel so much excitement.

. . .

And so as the dancefloor clears and the two of you are making your way out to the gardens, you spot a grinning Angela and a scowling Moira putting away her wallet.

[gamarancianne]

Hii I just read your rules and i think every thing is altight 🎀.I have benn carving some angst and had this idea for Helion x reader from acotar, where they have been with each other for a long time (before he became a High Lord), he says that he wants an open relationship, at first the reader agrees, after the years go by and Lady Autum heppens, she starts to be colder to Helion and becoms insecure about their relationship. Fast forward Helion throws a ball where someone start to flirt with him even though the reader is literally on his arm, he goes for some drinks or whatever which gives the reader the chance to escape, she does. After an hour or so Helion notices she is gone, and starts to look for her, he cant find her untill he asks a gaurd, who tells him she went to their bedroom, he finds her at first he is playfull but then relizes something is wrong. I would love if Helion said something like " you can't just leave me, I love you and we are together you cant do that, pleas" while crying hard. You can finish it however you like, presonaly a lot of angst and groveling at Helions side. If you dont fell like writing it there is no hard feelings❤️❤️❤️

Helion x reader - Always yours, never mine part 1

Hiiii, thank you for being this nice and don't worry i wrote it because I really loved the idea and there isn't enough Helion stuff here so let's change that ! 💗

Summary: in your open relationship, Helion always sneaked around with everyone, while you stayed there, waiting for him. But that was before, because solstice is the day where you are going to change that.

Warnings: angst, arrogant Helion (tbh he can 😩), heartbreak for 400 years, curse words, not proofread, my English.

Note: I didn't expect it to be this long so I'm definitely doing a part 2 ! I hope there was enough angst for you my dear and again thank you for your request and nice word !

"Everyone is looking for the sun"

"The moon only shines thank to the sun"

You had been his for 400 years. Being 550 year-old it was almost your whole life. But him, he had never been yours. In the beginning of your relationship, Helion and you had agreed that you both still could have dates or sleep with others. Well Helion had decided, and you desperately in love, had agreed. It was then an open relationship, Helion went out with other males and females, sometimes both, and you, well, you had been on dates to play by the same rules but hadn't really appreciated it. You didn't want them , you wanted and still want Helion, only him. Of course you had your moments, heated or not, together but it wasn't a proper relationship like you could dream of. It could have been okay if you weren't aware of every time he brought a lover to his Palace and didn't heard them both from dusk till dawn, but you were and you did. Oh yes you did. Like the one time of the high lord meeting when he had flirted with Mor, and had sleeped with her, asking you to go to another room. Sometimes some females even came to him while you were dancing or cuddling together and had the guts to seduce him in front of you. The pain you felt really started when he started sneaking around with the lady of autumn when he wasn't high lord yet. He then started to forget you, the one who had been truly there for him in every moment of his life, and you became insecure. It was mentally and emotionally exhausting. But you couldn't leave him (if you still were in a relationship), you loved him too much it hurt you and it would kill you to do so.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Today was the first day of the summer solstice festivities. It was a day full of colors, sun, dances, music, food; your favourite day of the year. But not today, you didn't feel well. Yesterday Helion had brought 2 females in his bed, and your room being next to his, you had heard them. You hadn't sleep, overthinking the fact that you and Helion hadn't slept or been on a date together since weeks, even months. Maybe you didn't have to go today, you could stay in your room, looking from your window to the happy people partying and laughing. That's what you would do today, drown yourself in your eating thoughts and cry yourself to sleep. What a program. In front of your mirror, you changed your sun dress for a nightgown and went back to you giant bed. As if hearing your thoughts, someone knocked at the door. Groaning you opened it and what surprise for you to see the said Helion, a flirty smirk on his lips, leaning against the door frame. Gods was he beautiful. You almost hated him fro that, it made every discussion with him very difficult for you. His smile dropped as soon as he saw you in an other outfit than your party dress.

"What's going on love? At this hour you are normally already dressed up, dancing with everyone ?" He asked.

"Well I suppose it is not a normal day then" you answered turning your back to him when he tried to reach for you. You instantly regretted you gesture.

"Are you sure everything's okay love ?"

You turned back and gave him a small smile to reassure him, you always adored when he called you love, you could never resist him. "Yes don't worry, I am just feeling unwell, I think I'll stay here today and rest a little."

He froze, never had you ever missed a solstice day.

"No, no, no. Go dress up dear, I'm sure a dance with me will give you your energy and joy back." His teeth showed up again when he flashed you a smile.

"What? No-"

"And I won't take no as an answer" he shouted when he closed the door to leave you alone in the silence of your room once again. Dressing up again, you cursed him for being this convincing and yourself for being this weak. And why would he show up exactly the moment you gathered a little courage to face him about your feelings ! But maybe this time he would change, and everything would be different. You had so much hope about him. Leaving your room, you frowned and searched him in the crowd. You relaxed when you smelt his now well-known scent invading your nose and felt his arms circling your waist. 

"What's going on in that pretty head of yours"

"Nothing really" I answered getting out of his grasp leaving him frowning a little.

He regained his composure quickly "Then let's dance dear."

You both walked to the dancefloor and pushed someone or two on the way. As the music began, Helion led the dance, and you followed, twirling at the beautiful notes. To anyone who looked at you, it seemed that you were two beautiful gods or angels, coming from the sky and flying in the sun. Two gods meant for eachother. But Helion didn't think that, nor did you, spiralling in your insecure thoughts and doubts about yourself. But you still danced for hours, leaving the crowd only to drink or eat.

Exceptionally, you both went out in the gardens, arm in arms and hand in hand to talk intimately a little. But unfortunately, your finally rediscovered happiness was short timed when a young fae lady approached you two. Well she approached him of course. She was everything you weren't, gorgeous, a bright smile, tall, thin. Indeed, how could Helion could really love you after people like her ? Then again he abandoned you again to yourself. And almost broke down in front of everybody when you saw them dance together, and cursed yourself once again the same day for being so stupid to think that one ridiculously charming cheeky smile from him would change anything. You ran away to your bedroom, tears streaming down your face as the pain was stinging your entire body. When you loved, you loved hard, with your soul, your body, you whole. But when you felt hurt then everything in you was heart, and there wasn't a single part you that was okay.

You cried and cried on your bed without even taking the time to step out the beautiful gown you wore today. A gown he had gifted you. Damn him ! Everything you did, everything you thought about reminded you of him! He was like oxygen and water for you, a living need, everything in you was attracted by him every single second of your whole life. It was at the same time making you breathe fresh air, and killing you.

Helion, him, noticed you missing only a few dances later with that young lady when he had the project to bring her back into his bed for a sleepless night. He had the intention to inform you not to wait for him but he couldn't find you. In the heat of his moment with his futur lover, he got upset at the fact that you somehow ruined it, and grew more and more frustrated. He excused himself to the lady and went quickly and furiously to your room after asking a guard about it. There wasn't an ounce of worry in his mind.

But when he found your door open, and heard your not so silent sobs, he calmed down a little and came to your bed. Feeling his weight on the other side of the bed, you stood up quickly and wiped, in vain the tears on your cheeks.

"You crying just ruined my tonight date you know ?" Helion chuckled thinking it would make you feel better.

But in the contrary, you snapped at him and lashed out all your feelings and emotions piled up and invalidated since 400 years. Enough was enough.

"How dare you say that to the only woman who have been supporting you for every damn moment of your life? How dare you hurt my feelings and my confidence again and again and again ? During those 400, I've given you all that I had even more, I've given you all from myself : my soul, my heart, my mind and my body. But what have you given me back ? Nothing, except a broken heart and insecurity that's eating me up every fucking day of my life ! A life now resumed to hope that someday you will understand what I'm going through, you will change for the better ! But no ! It's always the same thing ! I hope and hope for you but you still disappoint me at the end of the day going back to your bitches while I stay here, abandoned again by the love of my life, the only one in my mind, you. I'm tired and exhausted to feel empty every time I see you with another while you forget about me. Some even seduce you while I'm here with you !"

Helion froze at your words, never as he ever considered or thought that you could be unwell in this relationship. "But what didn't you say anything? Plus you had also the right to go with other males or females, let me recall we both agreed to those terms in the beginning of our relation-"

"No we didn't! You said it, and I was hopelessly in love with you so it was the better I could get from you ! And I tried and tried and tried to go on other dates but they were never you ! As telling you this, I can't because everytime I see you apart from heated moment, when I try to speak to you about it, another one of your numerous lover interrupt us and you don't care about it one bit! It's like I'm only there to sleep with you and nothing more where as you go on dates and give your lovers prince princess treatment ! So tell me ! What did I do to deserve that ? What did I do ? Because I am completely and utterly yours, but Helion you have to face it, you were never mine." Rage and frustration tears were flooding your face from your angry eyes, and you were out of breath.

"Are you breaking up with me ?" He asked softly.

"Oh gods I can't believe it ! It's the only thing you have to say right now ? After all I've told you ? Then yes, yes I'm breaking up with you ! I'm done with this, with you !"

"But you can't do this love ! Please you can't leave me we are together! I love you please! Don't do that !" He pleaded and kneeled in front of you, gripping your thighs.

"As much as I love you, and as it's hurting to do so, I can't do this anymore, I don't know who I am anymore. Every time I woke up, my goal was to make you change or to spend a little time with you ! I've been erasing myself to the thought of you and I need to get out of here in order to find myself again. I'm sorry."

"But where will you go ? You live here ? It's your home! I am your home !" He cried.

"Not anymore I'm sorry. And Mor will welcome me for a time, I already sent a note to Rhys, he'll come when my stuff will be packed." As my voice broke down on the final words that seemed too real for me, I wanted it to be a nightmare, and to wake up tangled in the sheets and his arms, I got out of his firm grasp difficultly and gathered my things.

Rhys appeared instantly, and I took one last look at Helion's bent form and wet eyes before we disappeared as quickly as he came, in smoke of black shadow.

[locklyle1kanij]

I’m gonna make a list of my fav Lockwood and co fics in the hope that someone will see this list then reblog it and say “wow good choices! You should really check out this fic!”

(PLEASE I NEED FICS) (Warning these are basically all mainly Locklyle fics just letting you know)

(okay obviously we need Policy 8 on this list!)

“Policy 8” written by by: The_Biscuit_Agreement

Ongoing

Plot Summary :

Policy 8 was established in the hope of encouraging the birth of increasingly powerful agents. All agents 18 and over must accept the marriages DEPRAC assigns them. Agents between the ages of 16-18 can volunteer to enter the programme or else be forced into it due to minor illegal behaviour.
Lucy Carlyle volunteered. Anthony Lockwood was forced. In an effort to protect the two teenagers from being turned into pawns in the games of the rich and powerful, Barnes ensures Lucy and Lockwood are married. But just because they aren't stuck as pawns, doesn't mean the teenagers aren't forced into the same dangerous games.

“As London Burns” written by: ScienceFantasy93

Ongoing

Plot Summary:

An AU About locklyle in the middle of world war two with Lockwood fighting as a RAF pilot and with Lucy as a news reporter. (very angsty) (idk what else to say about it tbh… BUT I LOVE THIS FIC!)

“The bones of our past written” by: moon2pluto

Finished (but has a sequel that’s ongoing)

Plot Summary:

Just a few months after the destruction of the bone mirror, the team of Lockwood & Co. has another big case to tackle:
When Lucy gets a letter from her little sister, begging her to come back and help her with a haunting doomed to kill them, she doesn't need long to make a decision, and neither George nor Lockwood are going to let her face this alone. To not get any unwanted attention in her hometown, Lucy and Lockwood agree to take a closer look disguised as a couple while George is busy researching. But when the haunting turns out to run much deeper and wilder than any of them thought, and other players enter the game, one question arises: Will Lockwood & Co. also make it out of this case unscathed?

(This one’s my all time favourite)

“The hidden archive” written by: BrooklynBooks

Ongoing

Plot Summary:

Ghost possession doesn't happen often, but fatality rates are high. Even if an agent does survive, there are the aftereffects to worry about. After surviving a possession, Lucy Carlyle struggles with recovery, delving ever deeper into the memories of Visitors and, in the process, stumbling into the world of blackmarket Sources. Meanwhile, George Karim races to learn the truth behind ghost possession in order to protect Lucy and save future agents. And Anthony Lockwood must face his own past with the London underworld if he wants to save his friends and himself.

“Connections” written by: The_Biscuit_Agreement (I’m sorry i’m so obsessed with their fics lol)

Ongoing

Plot Summary:

Lockwood forms a psychic link with a dead young agent and the group try to use it to work out how the agent died with disastrous consequences.

“Crushed” written by: itripandfallalot, Salvoirfaire

Ongoing

Plot Summary:

A bad case and broken leg leave Lucy no choice but to return to Portland Row until she recovers. Lockwood is definitely not using this as an opportunity to persuade her to come back for good, because that would be unfair. And he never plays dirty.

“Because everything is the same until, very suddenly, it isn’t” written by: Netflixcapricorn

Finished

Plot Summary:

What happens when the only way out of this mess is a fake marriage?

(Here’s a warning, extremely angsty)

“Lucy takes the long way home” written by: agents_cxrter

Finished

Plot Summary:

Lucy might have left Lockwood and Co, but she can't get Lockwood out of her system.

(So many annoying emotions in this one like WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!!?!)

“This is going to end badly” written by: The_Biscuit_Agreement

Ongoing

Plot Summary:

When Fittes Agent Lucy Carlyle is cornered by relic-men alone in the woods, she is rescued by an unlikely source: Anthony Lockwood, run-away and relic-man. When Fittes gets tasked with trying to track the young man down, Lucy finds herself in an interesting position.

“Perfectly Incandescently Happy” written by: OceanSpray5

Finished

Plot Summary:

After the death of her best friend, Ms Lucy Carlyle is given the opportunity to be sponsored for the 1815 London season by Norrie's aunt. Instantly compared to the Diamond due to their astonishingly similar looks, she befriends Lord Lockwood quite unexpectedly yet is left wondering if she was a fool for believing he'd look twice at a mere country girl.

(This fic is literally the cutest thing to exist… if you exclude the angst lollll)

“No One Cares About The Nightwatch” Written by: Nomolosk

Ongoing

Plot Summary:

Lucy Carlyle is a Listener, a failed agent, a runaway, and now works the nightwatch in London. One might think her life a failure from start to last- but Lucy has goals. She will get a grade four certificate, and reapply to all the best agencies, and her life will get immeasurably better.

However, firsthand experience of the treatment most people give the nightwatch, and a chance encounter with Lockwood and Co. have her reevaluating those goals... maybe she can do some good before she moves on...

“The Injury of Finally Knowing You” written by: booknerds_unite

Ongoing

Plot Summary:

Anthony Lockwood, the only surviving male monarch from the Lockwood line, has six months to find a wife or Parliament will make a case to keep him from the throne. Lucy Carlyle has just arrived at the palace to work as a maid and to escape her horrific mother. They were never supposed to meet.
On the night of Lockwood's birthday celebration, their paths cross and nothing will ever be the same.

“What lies between the lines” written by: The_Biscuit_Agreement

Ongoing

Plot Summary

When she arrived in London, Lucy Carlyle took up a job at the British Archives, spending her days determining which love letters, suicide notes and other collected paperwork could one day produce a visitor. It's a taxing job, made easier by king archivists and the presence of young agents doing research nearby. As Lucy becomes close with some of these young agents, she starts to receive love letters herself and finds herself using her under-utilised talents to try to work out who might be behind the notes.

(at this point just go through all of The_Biscuit_Agreement fics tbh… There all perfection)

(okay i’ve read a ton more really good Lockwood and Co fics but i feel lazy now so maybe i’ll post a part two of fic recs later)

[fuckaperioddrama]

Hello again! I'm the girl who made the request for Draco's headcanons. First of all, lemme tell you that you have been FANTASTIC 💞 Thank you so much for writing them! I've really enjoyed reading them.

Now I'd like to ask something else related to a very specific you mentioned there:

In the section where you talk about what Draco is like in bed, you talked about Pansy very briefly and how he seeks her out when he doesn't want to be in control. And now I can't stop thinking about the kind of relationship those two have or had in the past.

Could you write headcanons about Dransy, please? They're a very underrated ship and I think they give a lot to talk about, especially from a sexual-affective perspective. Their relationship has all the earmarks of being an incredibly bumpy one, don't ya think? I've always considered that the trope that best defines them is childhood friends to toxic lovers to best friends.

Anyway, thank you in advance for reading and responding to my previous request 💞 Hope you have a great day/night!

HELLO!! I’m so glad that you liked the Draco headcanons. I had a lot of fun writing them. I went a little unhinged lol. 

I think Draco and Pansy are more Toxic Friends ⇨ Toxic Lovers ⇨ Acquaintances tbh. Definitely a bumpy road. And Dransy?? SO UNDERRATED!! I feel like their relationship is so interesting.

I hope you like what I wrote! I’m wishing you the most AMAZING day/night! 

(I know I said I don’t take requests for Pansy, but I already had this relationship mapped out in my head and I will use any and every opportunity to ramble about my theories. I made a special exception for this one. Plus it was sent in before I clarified my request guidelines.)

Dransy Headcanons

Warnings: Toxic!Draco | Mentions of Sex | Mentions of Bondage Draco Malfoy | Pansy Parkinson

Suggestive Content | Angst

MDNI | 18+

Pansy was one of the first friends that Draco made at Hogwarts, she wasn’t in his immediate friend group at first.

Draco didn’t have much interest in Pansy, but Pansy had a lot of interest in him. 

A LOT. 

Pansy fell in love with Draco the second she met him. 

Her infatuation with him wasn’t obvious, but after a couple of months there were certain tells that everyone in their group of friends were able to pick up on. 

Pansy didn’t like to let anyone control her or tell her what to do, but she had a really hard time saying no to Draco. 

Whenever anyone in the group told her to do something, she fought back immediately. She did whatever she wanted to do and nothing that she didn’t want to do. 

But if Draco asks? Not ask. Demands.

“Pansy, grab my water for me.”

It was right next to him and she was halfway across the room.

But she still grabbed it and handed it to him, and she did it silently because even she was embarrassed by the hold Draco had on her. She didn't want to draw attention to it even though everyone was already looking.

If any of her friends got hurt Pansy would make fun of them. 

If something happened to Draco she was at his side immediately. 

Draco’s dramatic and Pansy fed into that. 

Anytime he was upset she would do everything in her power to ease him. | Like letting him rest his head on her during a train ride.

Draco liked attention and he noticed who was willing to give him the most attention. 

Once he noticed that Pansy was willing to do anything for him he started to use her as someone he could confide in. 

Family problems, school, friends, anything and everything. Pansy was always there to listen. 

After being Draco’s therapist for what felt like an eternity, her dreams came true.

Not really. 

Draco was horny and needy. He needed someone. Anyone. 

Pansy just so happened to be there.

And while she thought he specifically sought her out, it turned out she was just at the right place at the right time. 

Draco was passionate, and rough, and made her feel all of the things she had been waiting to receive from him.

After they finished he laid next to her and while Pansy thought this was a sign he wanted more than sex, Draco was just too tired to bother getting dressed and going back to his room.

Pansy woke up the next morning and he was gone. No note, no goodbye, and the next day he treated her like nothing happened. Like she was nothing. 

Pansy was on Draco’s mind, but only in what ways he could use her. 

She was uncomplicated. She wouldn’t say no. He didn’t have to charm her, flirt, or flaunt. Just a simple message or look from Draco would send her right into his bed in an instant. 

After hooking up for a couple of weeks Draco finally brought up the topic of switching up the dynamic a little bit. 

Pansy was shocked at first. Draco was seen as someone who enjoyed being in control, so she didn’t picture him as someone who would ever want to be submissive.

Pansy had never never taken control before and Draco had never allowed someone to take control before. This was their first experience and they tried it out together. 

And when they tried? It was the best sex they had ever had.

Pansy loved every second of it and so did Draco.

As much as she cared for Draco, a part of her resented him for the way he treated her. 

She resented him for not loving her as she loved him. 

Sex for her felt like a way of reclaiming her power. 

Seeing Draco tied up, whimpering, and begging for her. 

Not only did the dynamic in their sex life change but also in their friendship. 

Draco was still demanding, but not towards Pansy. 

He let everyone else become his punching bag, but as their sex life grew, Draco started to respect her.

Not necessarily in a healthy way, but more so than he did before. 

His voice softened, his facial expressions were less firm, and in some ways, he was nicer. 

Mainly because he knew that any negative behavior would be sorted out by her later in the bedroom. 

While this relationship fulfilled Pansy for a time, she still wanted more. 

She never brought it up out of fear of rejection and also because she could tell any further advances from her would lead to rejection. 

She still held onto her fantasies. 

She kept waiting for him to confess, for him to admit that he loved her. 

Draco did like Pansy, just not enough. 

One can only hold out for so long.

She might have held onto the hope that one day Draco would love her back, but it was fading.

She didn’t know she was falling out of love with Draco. 

Until one night when he texted her asking for her to come over, she didn’t want to. 

That may not seem like the strangest thing, but it was for Pansy. 

She always wanted to. Even if she wasn’t in the mood for sex, she would always answer Draco’s call for the opportunity of just being around him.

But she didn’t care about being around him anymore. His looks no longer made her flustered, his voice no longer sent shivers through her body, and his attention no longer interested her. 

She was done. If anything, she felt embarrassed. 

Embarrassed by the love she gave but never received. Embarrassed that she let this man take her, a strong, independent, and stubborn woman, and completely turn her into a blubbering and blushing mess.

She thought that sex was her way of reclaiming her power, but at the end of it, she always felt bad about herself. 

From the outside, it looked like she was the one using Draco, but in reality, he was the one using her. 

So she broke it off.

It started slowly with her rejecting some of his advances. 

Until the days when she was lonely and caved in and she always regretted it afterward.

Then she stopped caring whenever he was upset. She stopped listening to his rants and no longer felt the need to be a part of his life.

When it was finally over Pansy felt free, but Draco felt trapped in his insecurities.

At first, he was angry. Angry that she would not want him anymore and paranoid that she would expose him. 

The majority of the conversation was a lot of dull threats made by him.

And then he felt empty.

She was his outlet, his way to relieve stress, and the stress reliever was gone. 

He didn’t realize it at first, but after a month or maybe two without Pansy, he saw it. 

He saw how much she did for him. 

While he never loved her, he did rely on her a lot. 

Then she was gone. She was still there in his friend group, laughing and making jokes with everyone other than him. But she wasn’t his to use anymore. She wasn’t his at all.

Draco and Pansy never fully recovered from this. 

The friendship they had, if you can even call it that, was torn apart and never repaired. 

They both eventually found someone else and because of who their families are they were never fully rid of each other. 

They’d see each other at various social events hosted for the great families. 

Pansy saw their meetings as a painful reminder of who she once was.

Whereas Draco saw it as a time to reminisce on what he could have been if he just loved her back. He looks back on how he treated her and he feels this deep shame. 

He will never apologize for what he did and she will never tell him how she felt. 

She will always care about him and he will too even if he doesn’t realize it. 

And the uncertainty and the unanswered questions will live on, absorbing nourishment from the death of what their relationship could have been. 

Dividers: @saradika | @cafekitsune

[the-self-indulgent-corner]

Genshin Characters x a reader with adhd (part two!)

Summary: Your adhd may be strange, but you're convinced your (boy/girl) friend is stranger despite that.

Or, how the genshin characters react to a reader with ADHD. (Ft some lesser known aspects of ADHD)

Featuring: Hu Tao, Collei, Cyno. Can be read as romantic or platonic (except for Collei, I wrote hers only platonically)

A/n: Hey it's me again after *checks notes* about nine months. Whoops.

I don't have any crazy stories I just lost inspiration. Truth be told I had 2/3 of this already written out mostly but lost inspo and also time so it was kinda left in the drafts for a while. And I only finished writing it today with minimal proofreading so if there's mistakes no there isn't-

Anyways, you don't need to read part one to understand this, but as I said before I do use some more less known features of adhd in these hcs so i'm putting a general index of what they mean here. It's not a perfect summary but it'll give you a general idea of what it means.

And disclaimer! While I do have adhd, not everyone's adhd is the same. So what's common for me might be super uncommon for other folks with adhd and vise versa. So don't take this index or hcs as verbatim and do your own research if you don't know about something!

Index:

Executive dysfunction/ADHD paralysis: Wanting to do your job/work, but it feels like you’re physically unable to.

Food sensory issues/selective eating habits: A lot of people with ADHD are ‘picky eaters’ and refuse to eat certain foods even if it's good for them. Usually we pick foods with high sugar since it causes a ‘dopamine surge’.

Auditory processing disorder (APD): Having difficulty making out what someone is saying or processing what someone said too slowly.

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD): Being much more sensitive to rejection or perceived rejection.

Verbal stim: Exactly the same as other stims (Like bouncing your leg or clicking a pen) but just with words. Usually being a certain phrase, sentence or singing, although any vocalization can be a verbal stim. 

Time blindness: Becoming so engrossed in something that many hours can pass when it felt like a much shorter amount of time.

Intrusive thoughts: unwanted disturbing thoughts and ideas that come to mind randomly. Can either be mildly unnerving to totally distressing.

Now with that word vomit out of the way, onto the hcs!

Hu Tao

Y'all can't tell me this girl also doesn't have ADHD. 

Once you tell Hu Tao about your ADHD she'll go "ayo that sounding kinda familiar 🤨"

Whether or not she has ADHD is up to the court to decide but NONETHELESS Hu Tao can absolutely relate to at least a few of these.

Impulsive? Check. Stimming? Check. Time blindness? Check. 

(Society not liking how you act? Check. /J)

If Hu Tao hasn't already latched onto some of your stims she definitely will after you tell her, even if she doesn't realize it right away LOL

You also steal some of hers <3 like her idle animation with the hillichurl song?? Yeah that. 

You two don't even notice it until someone (probably Zhongli) points it out.

The amount of times you two impulsively went out is kinda impressive tbh. Either one of you will be like 'hey are you busy?' And if the other says no they're dragged off somewhere LMAO

You two always have fun though

She’s good at helping you out but her ways are kinda unorthodox 

If your executive dysfunction or smthn is acting up girl will literally just. Pick you up and bring you where you need to.

“What? You need help getting somewhere and I can help! Besides, you said having others around helps you work, right?”

Stop being right about this Hu Tao how dare you /j

Really tho girl can and will just. Pick you up to get you to do something/go somewhere LMAO. Only stops if you get genuinely upset by it.

And while she’s good at helping you she’s also a bit 50/50 on what she does help you with.

If it's actively hurting you in some way she'd absolutely stop it, but if it's a bit more hehe silly goofy she'd prob just do it with you

Don't like this texture of food? Yeah her neither, let's get something else. Found something shiny and now you're distracted? She's looking at the shiny thing with you. 

If you mask/Your ADHD isn't very obvious people would view you as the one who keeps Hu Tao in check which, depending on what kind of person you are, could be true but it's much better imo if you both are equally as strange

Stranger: Oh, you'll keep Hu Tao in check, right?

You, about to do the same thing as her: Yeah of course!

Tbf even if you did try to keep everything in line Hu Tao has a way to always convince you to do it her/another way instead. She knows how to trick you.

You fall for it each time 😔

"Wait. We aren't supposed to be here! We have to go to-"

"Too late! We're already here! May as well have fun!!"

If you're playful like her you two love to tease each other all the time. The amount of inside jokes y'all have is insane

As long as you're fine with it you two try to one up embarrassing each other in other people's presence LMAO

"Hey, 'Tao, remember that one time when you-"

"If you're talking about the knuckleback incident then it's not even half as embarrassing as that time you-"

This can go on for days.

You two have a relationship not many understand but it doesn't really bother either of you. As long as you're both happy you couldn't care less.

You two are little freaks of society /lh 

Although, if you're also a bit of a troublemaker like Hu Tao, y'all turn into team rocket. Prepare for trouble and make it double fr

"Hey, y/n! You'll never guess what I just found!"

"Whatever it is, it better have the ability to mess with someone."

"It does!" 

"Perfect."

The people of Liyue often wonder how you two have that much energy. 

Hu Tao is a pretty good listener and loves to hear whatever you want to talk/rant about.

Probably the best person out of this list to rant about your hyper fixation to because girl will match your energy even if she doesn't care/knows nothing about it. If it's important to you, it's important to her!

You'd be stimming happily talking about it and she'd be doing the same; not to mock you but because if you're excited she's excited too and also needs to let out that energy 

Even if you're talking at 2x speed, she somehow keeps up with all of it. 

She also likes when you space out because it becomes 10x easier to scare you back into reality. She can’t help herself. What can she say?

“Boo~!”

“Ah! Hu Tao!? Why!”

“You were spacing out! Cmon, we can find something better to do besides staring at a wall all day.”

“... Who do you want to prank?”

“I'm so glad you asked!”

You're preoccupied for the rest of the day.

Collei

You 🤝 Collei

BEING NEURODUVERGENT/HAVING A MENTAL DISABILITY 

Even though ADHD and PTSD are nothing alike, girlie is still so happy she's found a kindred soul who personally understands (at least some of) what she has to deal with that many others don't. 

I'ma be real with you tho I don't think Collei really knew what ADHD was before she met you lmao

I feel like at most she's heard the term but not much beyond that. With that said though I don't think she'd have any preconceived notions on what ADHD entails, she's prob the easiest to explain your disability to honestly.

She also hears you explain some symptoms and is like ‘hey wait… Some of this sounds familiar to me!'

She actually confides in you quite a bit because of this. usually about her the lesser known aspects of her PTSD. It's usually the parts she feels bad about telling Tighnari, things like intrusive thoughts. 

She probably thought she was a terrible person for thinking that, unaware that intrusive thoughts are, well, intrusive. Once she tells you about them you tell her about yours as well and probably have to explain that it doesn't make her a bad person. 

Although a good bit of you and her talking about your guys mental disabilities is just that spider man pointing meme since quite a few things overlap LMAO

“Oh! So you say some things repetitively, too? I thought only I did that!”

“Yeah! I have a lot of vocal stims, honestly. Like one where I- Uh… you good, Collei? You look kind of confused.”

“Vocal stims…?”

Despite relating to quite a few things and already knowing she has a mental disability she's completely in the dark about more nuanced things than the standard. You'll have to teach her some things about it 😭

Although some things she's a bit lost on, she's got the spirit!

She can be a bit awkward about the things she doesn't relate to, though. She doesn't mean to be! But this is uncharted territory for her, and she's not quite sure what to say at times. After that initial phase of uncertainty though she sees it's not as scary/intimidating as it sounds on paper.

For example you'll tell her of your executive dysfunction and she'll get so nervous and absolutely blow out of proportion how bad it is/looks but when she once catches you just laying around while you were meant to/want to work she's like ‘oh, that's not as bad as I thought.’

She definitely tries to help you if you need it though. If you had food sensitivity issues she would prob try to make foods you dislike taste better. 

(Even if it failed you appreciate the attempt she made.)

You also teach her how to manage some of her own habits as well by sharing your own tricks. 

Some work perfectly and she's forever grateful you told her about it, but others completely flop.

(Even for those that don't work, she also appreciates that you tried.)

Sometimes though, she's completely flabbergasted by your antics lmao. 

She’ll see you working on something new and asks you about it, to which you respond in 2x speed about how you went down a rabbit hole these past few days and now are trying to learn a completely new skill from scratch and she lost you after your second sentence.

“Okay so basically a couple of days ago I saw this person who was making some pottery and I thought about how cool that was, so I looked into it and-” 

“Wh-what…?”

Girlie means the best but she's so confused 😭 by the end of your tangent she's giving hesitant encouragement because while she has no clue what you're doing or why you seem to be having fun at least. 

But honestly Collei worries about you sometimes, but that's more because she's anxious and even if she's been around you for years can probably never fully get used to your antics lmao. 

She's worried that others will see you as weird since at times you can be so unapologetic with your ADHD and worries you won't fit in.

She's too sweet. 

You always reassure her that even if that did happen, you wouldn't want to be friends with people who think you being yourself was weird or a bad thing.

If you keep this up you're going to completely rewire Collei’s brain. 

You probably inspire Collei quite a bit. She's a shy person so seeing you so open with your disability (and helping Collei with hers as well) makes her look up to you a little. She thinks it's so cool you can be so upfront and honest about it without really worrying about what others think of it. 

At some point, Tighnari pulls you aside and thanks you for being her friend. You helped her by just being someone who can relate to and understand her in some way, something that he can't do. Showing her that no, she isn't less than just because of a disability.

Congrats you officially joined the family.

“Ah, y/n! There you are! I um, have been meaning to give this to you… it's a plush of that character you like a lot! You've helped me a lot so I… wanted to give this to you as thanks! I-I hope you like it!”

Cyno

Congrats Cyno for being the only one on this list to know what ADHD is besides just knowing it exists!!!!!!

Fr tho I think Cyno knows a good bit about ADHD, like how it ties into other mental disabilities, sensory issues or even things like going non verbal… but at the same time he falls for a lot of the misinformation/generalizations about it as well 💀💀💀

If you mask well, he absolutely will not be able to tell you had ADHD. Completely unaware of it LMAO. But he's trying, give him a break.

It might even take a bit longer to explain to him since you have to correct any misinformation he has about it unlike the others who come in with mostly a blank slate. 

Like, no Cyno, not everyone is super hyper. No, not everyone is unable to sit still. No, some of us can mask. No, we aren't all connected to the ground itself- where'd you even hear that from!?

He grasps onto it pretty quickly though, and he remembers everything you say about it. And by extension, how it affects you specifically. 

“You shouldn't buy that.”

“?? Why?”

“It has that material you dislike the texture of in it.”

“Oh shit I didn't notice-”

Tbh Cyno is probably one of the best people to help with your ADHD since he's so observant. He’ll recognize when you're about to hit your sensory limit, remind you to do things you forget, and even helps you when your executive dysfunction is acting up. 

Although Cyno isn't perfect at everything and… honestly, you'll probably lose him at a couple parts.

He doesn't mean to be rude or anything, but some parts he just genuinely does not get. 

That doesn't mean he doesn't respect them or anything, but like when he hears you talk about verbal stims he’ll both think ‘huh that's kinda weird how they have certain vocalizations they like to say I don't think I've heard of that before’ and ‘it's cool they feel safe enough around me to tell me that I wonder what their vocal stims are’ simultaneously. 

Mans doesn't fully understand why you do some of the things you do (and tbf you don't either) but he also doesn't care as long as you're happy.

And while he's a great help, you can't forget that this is Cyno. Since he's helping you so much you know there's only one way to pay him back…

It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!!

That's right he forces you to play tcg with him LMAO.

He doesn't really care if you've never played before or not, he will lend you his cards and teach you right then and there if he must.

And if he gets you hooked on it? (or you already are hooked on it) Oh boy-

You two could battle each other for hours, you both probably have before. Cyno is so happy to have someone who likes the game as much as he does tbh. Even if you're not a pro, he still enjoys the battles. 

And if you are a pro, then you may just confuse everyone else around you with your in depth conversations about the most optional strategies and best support cards. 

But if you're not talking about and/or playing TCG, he'd love to hear about your current hyperfixations. He can keep up with you if you talk at 2x speed so don't be afraid to go crazy with it lmao.

He’ll listen attentively and even ask questions about it every now and then, but he tends to keep quiet when you talk about your own interests. Content to just listen to you ramble on and on. 

However with all this new information about your hyperfixation you've given him you accidentally made a monster. Because now that he knows how it works/what it's about, Cyno is going to make bad dad jokes about it and you can't stop him.

When he sees you again he'll tell you his new greatest joke about your hyperfixation. 

“So you remember when you info dumped about that book series to me yesterday?”

“Yeah? Why?”

“*Pulls out a written list* okay so I've got some new jokes about it and-”

Please he's SUCH a dork. Laugh at them he’ll be so happy about it.

He’ll be even more happy if you make your own jokes/add onto his. You literally just made this mans whole month with that. 

Cyno may even repeat these jokes to others if your hyperfixation is something well known.

Cyno will also probably find himself repeating some of your own stims (verbal and non verbal) too. Generally he only does your quiet/silent ones, (quiet humming, tapping a pen, clenching and unclenching his fists, etc…) 

I like to think that once or twice he repeated one of your more bizarre vocal stims and then just. Didn't elaborate.

He probably won't even notice himself doing it until someone else points it out. He doesn't mind it though, just probably was surprised he did it at all lol.

At first Cyno would probably see your ADHD antics as strange (and to an extent, he still kinda does lol) but takes it in stride. As said before he's of the mindset of ‘as long as they're happy and not hurting anyone I don't mind.’

After a while though it definitely grew on him lmao. Now he actively initiates conversations about it to better understand you and your adhd. 

If you ever feel upset about your ADHD he's kinda shocked because you probably never mentioned it before. Def the type to listen to your worries and calmly yet rationally tell you how that's actually not as bad as you think it is. Besides, you have like a thousand other redeeming qualities, so what if you can't always pay attention? Who else is Cyno going to duel with on a random Saturday afternoon?

… Yet even after learning all this about ADHD, he's still going to come to you asking weird questions.

“Y/n, is it true that people with ADHD like shiny things?”

“Cyno, that's every human.”

“Oh.”

He tries his best, okay?

Ending note: Annnnnd that's a wrap! Sorry if this one is shorter/less detailed than the last one but i'm tired. However if I don't do this now I probably won't post it later because of a lack of confidence oof. Anyways thanks for reading this far and I hope you liked it!

Also what characters do u think I should do next if any?

[lululawrence]

It’s November, and around my house that means I’m getting into gear with all of my Holiday and Winter Cards! This time of year is always rough for me, but one thing that always makes me happy are Christmas and Winter cards. This is my 9th year doing this, which is hard to believe, but I’m crazy excited to be able to continue the tradition this year, and I'm doing so with something new!

The cards are in the process of being made entirely by me, as always, but this year I'm also trying my hand at watercolors so every card will be unique with a bit of art that is hopefully not horrible adorning the front hehe

I'm still making them, but the rainbow trees in the banner are a preview of the art that will be featured on most of the cards and then I will add my personalized messages and send them filled with all of my love and good vibes! I can't do that without some important information from YOU though! So...

WANT A CARD? HURRAY! Here's how it works.

As stated above, I'm still working on the cards and they might not be sent out in time for Christmas, but they will all be mailed, I promise! haha

Through the rest of the month of November and maybe a little into December, I’ll gather addresses and finish the cards so I can start writing out the cards ASAP. Life happens, so the cards might not all make it to you before the new year, but I’m going to try my best to make it happen! Even if my goal of mailing them in early December doesn’t happen, you’ll definitely get a card at some point if you claim one.

HERE’S WHAT I NEED FROM YOU.

I’ll be collecting addresses using this google form. It’s pretty straight forward, but on the form I will be asking for:

Your address (I will mail them internationally). PLEASE write it out exactly as you would on an envelope, line breaks and all! I’ve had some cards get returned to me in the past because I guessed where the line breaks should be, and I guessed incorrectly, so to avoid that I’d love it if you could tell me where the line breaks are

The name you want me to use for the address as well as the name you would like me to write inside the card. For many, the name will be the same, but for others, it will be different, so to account for that, I’ll have an option for both.

Your tumblr URL. This is just so I can reach out to you if there are any issues.

Your preference in card. I will mostly be making rainbow pride trees affixed to Christmas or winter themed paper, but in case you need your cards to be holiday and rainbow free, I am going to be attempting some winter tree cards as well.

And that’s it! There aren’t any other stipulations or requirements. We don’t need to be mutuals, you don’t even need to be following me or in the fandom tbh. You just need to want a homemade card from me to hopefully bring you some cheer!

Even if you aren’t interested in a card for yourself, please reblog this post and help me spread the word. I would greatly appreciate it!

Thank you, and Happy November!

[sweetkpopmusings]

jeonghan best friend headcanons <3

a/n: posting this for the lovely anon who requested it ! <3 jeonghan is a libra icon and my best friend's contact photo in my phone is a silly photo of jeonghan like i love him sm actually <333

content: fluff | wc: 0.8k | warnings: none! | pairing: bestfriend!jeonghan x gn!reader | requests: open

he is SUCH a caring best friend

he's so observant with the people he is closest to, which means you can't get away with anything when it comes to jeonghan

he probably knows you're getting sick before you do. he can just tell your sneeze is different and he's making you tea and nagging you about how to avoid getting ill

and you're like bro ?? i just sneezed ??

but a few days later you're down with a cold and he's gloating about the fact he knew you were getting sick like he's being so annoying about it because he's so competitive <3

don't worry he's also dropping off a care package so you can get well soon!!

he jokes that he won't come near you because he doesn't want to catch the plague but in reality he'll come inside and make sure you have enough food, water, blankets, etc.

he also knows when you're overworked/stressed/exhausted before most other people see the signs

so he'll check in on you a lil more frequently but he won't push it until you are ready to open up about it

while he wants to give tons of advice to help you, whenever you vent to him, he just listens very intently and comforts you and validates all your feelings and will only offer his insight when you ask/have finished expressing your thoughts

you get to hear ALL of his laughs. i mean ALL of them!!!

sometimes you're just standing in line getting coffee and he starts laughing because you made a funny face at a weird thing a stranger said

now what that stranger said has become an inside joke and you two will say it to each other every once in a while for a good laugh

you have a lot of lil inside jokes/phrases/sounds/hand gestures that you do together

sometimes they're so strange it's concerning to outsiders but everyone who knows you and jeonghan knows that it's just your special little language :,-)

he has a dumb nickname for you that he uses in every way possible. tbh sometimes you wonder if he even remembers your name because you never hear him say it, he always addresses cards to your nickname, etc

but if someone else uses that dumb nickname ??? jeonghan is immediately >:-( because that's HIS nickname for HIS best friend

it's like a prideful thing that he gets to call you that lol

when you give him a dumb nickname, he laughs so hard the first time you use it that you're worried you broke his brain

he giggles at it every time you say it for about 6 months because it's so funny to him and he thinks you're adorable :,-)

i think he's the type of best friend that wants to know all about your family (whether biological or chosen) and friends

like he's always asking you how so-and-so is doing, did your cousin get that job they wanted, and how was your coworker's dog's birthday

sometimes it's shocking that he remembers so much about people in your life that he's never met but he's genuinely interested because they matter to you! and he's a big fan of you spilling the tea lmfao

he also loves sharing that kind of info with you about his family and friends so you just walk around with a wealth of knowledge on jeonghan's sister's friendgroup drama you and jeonghan gossip about it regularly

big fan of self-care nights!

when he wants to hang out, it pretty much means he wants to sit around, eat food, do face masks, and watch funny videos together

depending on his mood it's either a night filled with chitchat or a night filled with comfortable silence but either way it's some of the most fun you've ever had

he also loves playing games with you

and he cheats every time <3 if you win when he cheats he'll be so proud <3 and brag about it to his members <3

he also definitely teaches you how to cheat so whenever you two are playing games with other friends you can team up and unleash absolute chaos

seventeen complains about there being two jeonghans whenever you're around

and jeonghan's always like "yeah and???" and seungkwan's across the room glaring at you ready to give a big speech on integrity he's just mad because y'all pranked him the day before and dino got video of him looking shocked and embarrassed

it's always fun to watch you two together because after becoming so close you share a braincell and it's so endearing to witness two besties being besties

at the core of it, jeonghan is a super solid best friend who values you and all the wonderful things you bring to the friendship and his life

sometimes jeonghan's babying you. most other times he's being a demon. through it all, he's always showing you how much he loves you and cherishes you <3

i would like to put in a request for one jeonghan thank you very much !

[dropthedemiurge]

2023 Year Results

I have lost my ranking of favorite Thai BL/QLs that I made during half of the year, so I'm just going to write it anew^^

My Top BLs by the end of 2023:

1. Be My Favorite

2. Moonlight Chicken

3. Not Me

4. The Eclipse

5. Semantic Error (or if we talk only Thai series, then Bad Buddy!)

Honorable mentions: Only Friends, SOTUS, Laws of Attraction, Kieta Hatsukoi, My Ride...

I keep changing the places and Moonlight Chicken held such a strong place in my heart but now I'm also taking into account whether I liked all pairings and characters, so BMF finally took over. But I still can't decide whether The Eclipse is higher than Not Me, I might rewatch it endlessly but Not Me was a cultural reset :D As well as Semantic Error who's done so good and finally broke through the typical Korean BL setting and public's favor.

Bad Buddy has done amazingly as well but there are only 5 places in Top 5 ranking 🥲 I guess, the Our Skyy just dimmed my good memories about it a little bit x)

I love how this year we got shows that have expanded beyond the borders of usual BLs, they added mystery and mystic, action, time travelling, sitcom etc, mixed gentes, kept speaking out about many important things - from marriage legalisation to equal rights - that definitely had its own impact on real life, actors went on many fanmeetings overseas, from West to East, and overall... This was a good year, story and fandom wise.

My Fanfic Statistics

I stopped writing metas and somewhat distanced myself from the fandom when I felt that my views often didn't align with majority (and also got shadowbanned by tumblr?), but I wrote ~ 80k words on AO3 and drew >10-15 arts that I really enjoyed. I still have many wips so look forward to them!

I wrote way too many Only Friends fics whole I watched the show xD This was definitely a show that gave out ideas (and sometimes outrage) and lots of angst.

But Not Me fics are still my number one (though mostly because of all the crossovers with other series I keep writing about)

Also somehow Bad Buddy OT4 fic is now the longest fanfic I've ever written (both in Neglish and my native language). And it's still not finished but tbh even I don't know exactly how it will end, that's how self-indulgent this is but I'm so happy rhat many people were excited about this idea with me!

My Fandom

I also had a blast having various discussions in my own small community and people who wanted to share opinions and watch series together. You guys keep inspiring and supporting me in exploring many ideas, drawing art and writing many fics, I truly admire and adore you all, especially my fam @springkitten @xagan and also @thepancakelady @wereflamingo (I'm surprised how often we agreed with each other on somethjng but that's what makes discussions interesting xD).

Also I want to hug bad buddy server was a joyful discover this year too that inspired me to start learning Thai, our not me server that keeps being my safe comfort space and many hugs to some tumblr folks who I talk in replies and reblogs (I am truly bad at remembering usernames but if I ever chatted with you here, I am definitely thinking about you and your profile picture <3)

Here's to 2024 and more projects

I also started my FirstKhao AU visual novel, and though I thought I would be able to make it in a month or two and then got struck by Health Doing Bad for a long time, I'm definitely determined to finish it next year.

And we keep talking about making Poetry Zines with @springkitten inspired by lakorns/bls we watched and I'd like to try and make it happen 👀

I also want to return to commissions in a better way, because of political situation I haven't been able to continue drawing for my foreign friends but thanks to my other friends who are generous to help me with handling finances for me, I might be able to start drawing requests again! I also spent like 5 months fixing my health that kept me from creating I want to finish old ones and I'm really itching to return to drawings and other projects :D

And I have in my mind mastering pixel and 3d art as a part of my Changing Profession and Career Path in 2024 so let's hope I can lighten up everyone's mood with cooler art and animations 👀

Happy New Year and Happy holidays, everyone!

[sparrow-in-the-field]

Writer's Tag Game

Tagged by @strangethings-everywhere !! Thanks Anna!

Rules: Answer some or all of the questions below. Tag your fellow writers. Enjoy!

Link to your masterlist: I don't have a masterlist but here is my ao3! Not gonna bother linking my other ao3 account but if you ever want some BTS content just hmu and I got you lol.

Favorite and least favorite genres to write (angst/smut/fluff, etc): Favorite is for sure some hurt/comfort! Least favorite is any angst that doesn't have a happy ending, I just can't do it lol.

Favorite characters to write for? That's a hard question! I enjoy writing both Bobby and Don, it's hard to choose which I prefer lol; I've really been loving writing Bobby in The Cormorant though so maybe I'll say him. And Chuck Day! I looove writing Chuck, he was such a pleasant surprise when I wrote So Far So Good.

Which one of your works is your favorite? How am I supposed to pick one of my babies?? Lol. I mean, The Cormorant is so incredibly special and dear to me, I think that one will be my favorite for a long time even once it's finished. Out of my completed works, though, a kind of dark horse favorite is The Inherent Value of Warmth and Breath. I wrote that one soooo spontaneously but it turned out so well! I think it has a great balance of action and romance for just a little one shot.

Which one of your works is more popular than you thought it would be? It honestly still blows my mind that The Quiet Act of Loving Someone is the top kudos'ed fic in tbitb tag on ao3 (it just passed 200 kudos btw!! thanks for all the love! <3). Like I never thought something like that would happen with my fics.

Which one of your works is less popular than you thought it would be? So Far So Good my beloved!! I maybe went into it with too high expectations, because people had really loved Shy Boy, so I thought more people would be excited for a sequel. But alas, I guess Chuck/Roger isn't quite as popular. It still got some very nice love though, so I really can't complain!

Which one of your fics was hardest to write? Why? The Cormorant is definitely the hardest to write, but in a super rewarding way. There are just a lot of moving pieces (literally, with Bobby traveling lolol), and figuring out the timing of the month counting down, along with the balance of present day scenes, flashbacks, and dreams with Jack, it takes a lot of consideration for like, structure and organization. And then just thematically, it's very heavy and emotional to write. Which I love, it's so cathartic, but tbh sometimes I have to take breaks and think happy thoughts lol (such as post-fic fluff ideas for Bobby and Don hehe).

What is your favorite fanfic by someone else? Omg okay I'm limiting myself to three (and I'll try not to gush too much lol) but as Anna said there are so many amazing fics in our little fandom!! A huge favorite of mine is Someone Like You (I'm Ready) by teaforone ( @teaforarteza ) on ao3. This fic had me in an absolute chokehold and I still think about it to this day; the messy start, the stakes, the love confessions, the smut?? People died (me). It was also the first fic I read that emphasized Chuck and Bobby's friendship, which was eye opening. Next, I can't talk about fav fics without mentioning salix's (@seasidesandstarscapes )hockey au, Right in the Numbers!! Talk about messy lol, I was screaming at Don throughout this whole fic, and I fell in love with cam boy Bobby! Lastly, and most recently, I was so incredibly taken by effervescentyellow's (@effervescentyellow ) fic As Beautiful As You. It almost made me cry! There's just this overwhelming sense of warmth and acceptance and love, it feels like being wrapped in a cozy blanket and being told everything is going to be okay. It's so amazing.

Tags: umm I guess since I mentioned them above, I'll tag @effervescentyellow !

[licncourt]

When you have the time, please write your opinions on episode 6! I really love to read your thoughts

Yikes, okay. I'm just going to do a bulleted list of likes and dislikes because there was a lot going on here. Thank you so much for caring about my ranting!!

Thank you also to @zisurru and vivienne1996 for talking to me about this episode for like three hours straight after it aired and helping me consolidate all these thoughts with their insight

Things I liked

Claudia! I always enjoy her being a stone cold bitch. She's so ruthless and so intelligent that you almost forget how vulnerable she is. Bailey Bass knocked it out of the park and I was cheering her on from start to finish this ep.

Despite how some fans seem to be interpreting it, I was glad Lestat wasn't really framed as being justified in his actions. I do think the severity of his attack was downplayed (more on that later), but it wasn't fully excused like I was afraid it would be

Louis swimming the Mississippi to kick Lestat's ass

Lestat's chess tantrum. That felt like the level of shittiness I would expect from him based on the book

Things I would've liked in another context

Claudia and Lestat's chess rivalry

The mentions of Nicki and Magnus (even if it feels too early imo). Any TVL content is fun in theory

The family conversation on the bench

The Loustat sex scene (I can't believe we only got one sex scene in a non-icky scenario)

Coffin cuddles

Sam Reid singing

The fight -> sex pipeline

Lestat and the dog

Things I hated

BATTERED WIFE LOUIS. He was written as so strangely and ooc in this episode and it made me sick tbh. Yeah, he's mad for a while and rejects Lestat's attempts to apologize, but he DOES let Lestat back into his life and tolerates a ridiculous amount of awful bullshit. Lestat seems worse than ever, begging to get back in the family and then immediately treating Claudia poorly, emotionally abusing Louis, and continuing his affair. Louis quietly puts up with all of it, even making constant excuses for the behavior and keeping himself sexually available. It's almost as awful a character assassination as Lestat just got in ep 5. Book Louis never felt like a sure thing for Lestat. He was always pushing back and using his strengths and advantages to go toe-to-toe with Lestat. He was never subservient or brought to heel like some terrified but overly-loyal dog. AMC Louis allowing Claudia to be abused like she is in the show is even more incomprehensible to me.

The racial aspect of this whole situation gets its own bullet point because ICK. At least Claudia called it out.

Claudia taking the caregiver role. Something that defines Louis' character in IWTV is how intensely he clings to the role of father to give his life purpose, even to the point of infantilizing Claudia until he drives her even more mad. Just like I can't imagine book Louis tolerating Lestat's treatment of his and Claudia, I can't imagine him being so okay with losing the dynamic of the only identity that keeps him going.

Lestat's priorities! Just like ep 5, another core tenet of Lestat's characterization has been done away with here. The motivating desire behind Lestat's controlling behavior and cruel self-preservation is his desperate love for Louis and Claudia and his fear of losing them. Louis and Claudia making him an important part of an established family unit was all Lestat wanted in the book, but AMC Lestat has one foot out the door all of ep 6 even after how hard he tried to get them back and how he reacted to their attempt to leave. The Antoinette affair is especially baffling because Lestat is never mentioned to have taken any lovers in IWTV until the final months of the family, a desperate attempt to get Louis' attention and a potential rebound as he felt his family slipping away. If anything, Lestat is TOO committed in IWTV, definitely not a reluctant and philandering husband or unwilling father.

Lestat's hatred of Claudia!! The lynchpin of their tragedy is that Lestat DOES love Claudia. That's his daughter, his pride and joy, his protégé, his baby girl. He loves her as much as Louis does but his generational trauma and the circumstances of her creation/existence drive the wedge further and further between them until something breaks. When Claudia tricks him into aiding in his own murder by pretending to want to fix their relationship, Lestat doesn't even hesitate to trust her. Even after she tries to kill him, book Lestat says he never regretted her, that having the chance to be her father and to love her was worth it. I don't see even a shred of that in AMC Lestat. Getting rid of that love between Lestat and Claudia takes so much away from the upcoming tragedy.

The train scene. Again, a very important aspect of Lestat that makes him redeemable later is his total unwillingness to ever threaten Claudia with harm. The fact that he not only threatened to kill her but also mocked her rape was horrid and totally bizarre. I don't know how they could ever even begin to redeem him at this point.

The oversimplification of Claudia's arc and morality. Making Lestat so black and white evil like they have in the past two episodes takes so much away from her complexity and from the depth of the story for the audience. What makes the climax of this part of the book (coming in ep 7) so compelling is that you aren't sure if Claudia was right, if Lestat deserves it, what fairness even is. In this case, she's just completely justified and killing the man who threatened her life and almost killed her father and who continues to abuse them. Again, the tragedy of IWTV comes from the pseudo-nuclear family the three of them create and the way it breaks down in the most extreme of ways, the trauma of the father and of the eldest/only daughter destroying each other while the mother is torn to pieces by a love for them both. It's a domestic horror rooted in love gone wrong.

**Bonus** The fan insistence that book Lestat was never faced with the prospect of Louis leaving and if he had been, the reaction would've been the same as in the show. That's patently untrue and it happened twice actually. The first time, his reaction was to make another attempt at winning Louis over to accepting vampirism, and when that failed, to go for the babytrap. The second time, he went on an angry spiel about how he had Secret Vampire Knowledge and so Louis and Claudia had to stay with him.

[kingdomvel]

13 books

What’s up readers?! How about a little show and tell? Answer these 13 questions, tag 13 lucky readers and if you’re feeling extra bookish add a shelfie! Let’s Go!

Thank you thank you to @sky-kenobye for the tag and I'm terribly sorry for taking so long to do this

1) The Last book I read:

Last book I finished is Dune Messiah

2) A book I recommend:

Can I recommend Dune when I've not read all of them? Because that. Also The Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir. Go read them now. They changed my world.

(Also, and extra I'm never sure if I recommend or not: Young Mungo by Douglas Stuart, it was definitely a read, it took me a while to recover from it)

3) A book that I couldn’t put down:

This is most of my books tbh, but let's say The Magus by John Fowles, I Really really needed to know what was going on there. (Also The locked Tomb but I can't write that as an answer to everything)

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more):

I haven't read something more than once in a really long time, so probably books I read when I was a teen. I know I've read Memorias de Idhún by Laura Gallego or Rubinrot by Kerstin Gier at least three times each. (I am also planning on re reading The Locked Tomb as soon as they announce Alecto, I am not normal about these books)

5) A book on my TBR:

A LOT, I want to read the Thrawn books and the Revenge of the Sith novelization. I gave up a bit on finding the Thrawn books and bought the comic for the first one but I still want the books dammit! Also the rest of the Dune books.

In my physical TBR pile in my room I have The Atlas Six and Long Way Round. (The pile is finally a bit smaller after buying like 7 books in Scotland back in april and then not reading them and buying more)

6) A book I’ve put down:

If I'm honest I hardly put down books and if I do it's because they are so plain I just forget about them instantly. Let's say The husky and his white cat shizun because I have forgotten to take it off my currently reading in goodreads.

7) A book on my wish list:

Again, the Revenge of the Sith novelization and, anything in my tbr? Also the Taschen COMPLETE fashion history.

8) A favorite book from childhood:

This has to be Las Crónicas de la Torre by Laura Gallego. Really shaped my taste as a person. Anything from that author really. I also loved El pirata Garrapata as a child.

9) A book you would give to a friend:

THE LOCKED TO- jk. I don't know really. I'm a person that loves sharing what I like so I lend my friends a lot of books. Let's go with some of my books that my friends currently have: This is how you lose the time war by Amal El-Mohtar and Alex Gladstone, Carry On by Rainbow Rowell (my friend has had this for like 4 years now lmao) and The Collector by John Fowles

10) A book of poetry or lyrics that you own:

I am not a poetry enjoyer so I don't consciously own any poetry books, but I probably have some around from when I needed them for High School? By Spanish authors of course.

11) A nonfiction book you own:

I do not really read nonfiction, we can put here the illustration books I own, Long Way Round, and The girl with the seven names by Hyeonseo Lee (a woman writing about her experiences in North Korea and running away from there)

12) What are you currently reading:

I am finishing Children of Dune and She Who Became The Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan (yes, two at the same time because I only had like 50 pages left of Dune when I left on a trip and I didn't have space for two books and would have finished Dune in the first plane ride leaving me with nothing to read the rest of the trip. No, I couldn't buy God emperor of dune in scotland and leave children of dune with my sister I don't know what you are talking about)

13) What are you planning on reading next?

God Emperor of Dune, of course, and He Who Drowned the World (and The Atlas Six that has been in my room for months now)

I am honestly so late for this that I don't know who has done it already so I'm just gonna tag people and if you've done it I'm sorry, ignore this and send me the link heh

@heretolurkandnothingmore @tomicaleto @grapenehifics @heniareth @tideswept @somethingsteff

[tunamayuuu]

“i actually stopped being into bsd for a full ass year and ever since that shin soukoku doodle i made, it comforted a big part of me that felt horrible everytime i'd post bsd onto socmed knowing my more passionate works didn't get as much engagement as shitposts ahaha...”

• Oh yeah I remember you mentioning that somewhere and tbh I get that it happened to me too but with Kny (⁠〒ω〒) It's unfair, and upsetting, the engagement rate on most art posts–that aren't either skk nor a meme–in this fandom, but I'm glad you're getting more love, because you deserve all of it with your work!! You put a lot of care into it and your hard work bears fruit to beautiful art! I can't really blame the people for wanting some relief from the depressive canon through memes and shitposts, but I also can't deny that it does sting.

“the kny-ified bsd au was and still is an au project i want to keep working on!! i have a looong list of the full cast, it's just that i always get side quests and wanting to draw OTHER things and getting into OTHER new medias i wanna draw and yeah that's why it's taken years for me to complete anything orz (i have plenty of files of the au that i never posted because they're all unfinished or uncolored and i thought i won't do my au justice if none of them were colored yk?)”

• I felt that on a spiritual level istg ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ It's understandable, and imo drawing for a different fandom is a good change of pace and helps avoid burnout since drawing the same fandom all the time could get tiresome, even if you would generally find it fun. (I get it, and I honestly admire your dedication to give the best you have for your works, so take your time with your projects, I know you're working hard and I think I speak for a lot of us when I say we'll never rush you to have anything finished and posted right away.)

“i'm not an inokana fan myself but i'd love to hear your take on them! i just wanted to draw kyokenji at that time ehehei will always say that rengokunikida was def not my idea. it was an idea from a bsd friend! they even explained to me how it could work and i never looked back”

• My take on inokana: They complement each other in many ways. Inosuke is very loud, and Kanao is very quiet, but they've both seen each other in the rare state where they're not. I feel like Inosuke could bring out a little immaturity in Kanao and that she could teach Inosuke a fraction of patience. Inosuke definitely has some form of appreciation for her skills and capabilities, and he'd definitely hold her in high regard in his own mountain king way. I don't know why, but a gut feeling tells me they'd agree on a lot of things for completely different reasons, and I suppose she'd humour him when he wants to go exploring in the forests because why not? Personal hc: they would've stayed by each other's side during recovery where Kanao would tell Inosuke more about Shinobu, and would also tell him the occult stories Shinobu always used to tell while Kanae covered her ears. Anyways yeah I care about them a lot. The bsd friend that suggested rengokunikida is a genius because it's so fitting. The immaculate coincidence of both of them getting impaled in the stomach by an immortal being WHILE SMILING AND LOOKING AT PEACE is too perfect.

“i'm actually not sure who would take murata's role in the au because we know next to nothing about canon tecchou. michizou already takes sabito's role so.....? ALSO I FINALLY GOT TO ANSWER THIS BECAUSE! fukuchi is not urokodaki in this au! fukuchi takes kokushibo's role”

• we'll probably get backstory in the next few chapters when he melts so we'll possibly get an option for murata in the next two months. KOKUSHIBO FUKUCHI??? I'M INSANE OVER THISAAAAAJDJDBD???

“jouno and fukuchi unfortunately do not interact in this au.. i'm so happy to see my au still getting love even after the years i've been on and off in activity! comments like these fill me with so much motivation to upkeep this au!”

• oh well, we can't have it all. I'm glad!! I will keep supporting and I'm excited for what's to come !!!

-anon called Grace

grace we have GOT to stop this yap contest (huge slash joking, i love these thank you)

"the engagement rate on most art posts–that aren't either skk nor a meme"

literally my most popular post on this account is STILL the soukoku memes i made back in 2021. which i'm grateful for! yet at the same time, it's a little ironic i guess because i'm not crazy about soukoku or fukumori anymore :(

"but I'm glad you're getting more love, because you deserve all of it with your work"

i am super grateful for the followers that have stuck with me throughout the years!! (yes i can recognize some of you in my notes haha) and i was honestly really comforted when i saw love for my traditional work in the reblogs and asks.. it genuinely healed a huge insecurity i had about my art...

"drawing for a different fandom is a good change of pace and helps avoid burnout since drawing the same fandom all the time could get tiresome, even if you would generally find it fun"

i have a friend who's crazy abt one pairing in their account and they've kept it up for probably more than half a decade now? i just realized along the way that i can't be like that... i literally joined the community wanting to be a ranpoe acct but ahaha... i get interested in too many things...

"I think I speak for a lot of us when I say we'll never rush you to have anything finished and posted right away"

uuu i've read this sentiment so many times on my account, and i'm always grateful... it brings me so much joy to see love for an au that's basically 2 years old now...

"They complement each other in many ways. Inosuke is very loud, and Kanao is very quiet, but they've both seen each other in the rare state where they're not. I feel like Inosuke could bring out a little immaturity in Kanao and that she could teach Inosuke a fraction of patience."

stop this. you're convincing me. you can't do this to me i'm already attached to too many pairings in kny PLEASE /j but fr though, this is such a sweet interpretation of their relationship! personally, i still see them as more platonic, or even queerplatonic if they're more committed to each other specifically... but that's just because i think inosuke being aroace would be silly...

"The bsd friend that suggested rengokunikida is a genius because it's so fitting. The immaculate coincidence of both of them getting impaled in the stomach by an immortal being WHILE SMILING AND LOOKING AT PEACE is too perfect."

what's crazy to me is the fact that my friend made that comparison two years ago. we never would have known kunikida would've been a donut too......

"KOKUSHIBO FUKUCHI??? I'M INSANE OVER THISAAAAAJDJDBD???"

fantastic! because i think fukuzawa and fukuchi would make for amazing tsukiguni twins

super happy to hear from you again, grace!

[chiaraav]

Things I've learned in my first month as an over the phone spanish interpreter:

All the nurses and receptionists called Karen that I've encountered have been SO nice! Always understanding and forgiving if you make a small mistake and very willing to help out, not racist at all and many of them actually have learned a little bit of Spanish to help their patients! So nice, so cute, hope I keep encountering them on the job.

The Sharons though, I've had 5 Sharons and all of them were awful, treated the patients horribly and they also treated ME badly!! Like wtf Sharon, I'm here to help YOU. Racists all five of them.

Also this is specifically for the fourth Sharon, I may be able to call your patients for you, but I'm not your secretary, I CAN'T make calls where interpreting services are not required, no I don't care how busy you are, no I'm not lazy this just isn't my job, pick up the phone and make the english calls you need jfc

EVERYONE IN PEDIATRICS IS SO NICE I LOVE Y'ALL!!!!!!!!

No kidding, they're the nicest of them all, always happy to help and happy to see their patients! And so am I! I'm not someone who particularly likes babies or kids but honestly the cutest appointments. Everyone is so nice, EVERYONE: receptionists, nurses, doctors, everyone in between the absolute best, always a pleasure to receive a call from you.

Labor and delivery nurses are so nice too!!!! May be a little less enthusiastic but overall so nice and kind, love y'all!!!

On the other hand we have neurosurgery, god I hate this calls, it's not that the terminology is hard (it is, but I can look it up) but is2g neurosurgeons are SO unwilling to help out, they get annoyed of you can't do things quickly and perfectly, and if I ask for a repetition or a spelling they get annoyed and I'm like hello???? Your patient NEEDS to understand this and as such you should HELP ME understand otherwise we are all losing our time. Not racists tho, just assholes. Hope I find some nice ones.

Urologists! Please, you shouldn't be uncomfortable talking about penises and prostates with a female interpreter! You are a physician! But if you truly think that it would be better to have a male interpreter ask for one!!!! So there won't be any awkward silences, that just makes it way worse!!!!!!

Male nurses I love all of you, you are so kind and willing to help! Always saying please and thank you in a soft voice, love love love!

Actually tbh most of the nurses are very very nice, especially as I said pediatrics, labor and delivery and oncology!

Not u neurosurgery nurses, y'all are not exactly nice, can't blame you tho you have to spend so much time around neurosurgeons, there's no way you will stay nice around them.

Oncology you guys are the best, such a difficult specialty and so hard to give bad news, you deserve the best.

Family medicine! It's obvious that you guys are on a rush, so much respect for you really, you also deserve the best!

Don't even know what to say about gastroenterologists, you guys are really strong, definitely not for the weak

And that's all that I wanted to say about providers! Though here's a list of things that annoy me:

So hey, I know that some of you are in a rush, but could you PLEASE at least tell us when you are going to hang up? We don't want to be reporting calls as disconnected, it's annoying.

In the same line, hey I don't have this problem with my company but my friend's company has as goal to finish calls with their scripted goodbye if not those are detractor, so could you guys please at least allow us to say goodbye I know that it doesn't feel necessary (it isn't) but it may impact someone's income

Please could you speak a little slowly, some of us are relatively new and can't keep up with accents if you guys are running with your words

For some of y'all it's not even to speak slow, just at a normal pace! I can't understand terminology that way!

[sasquach-scratches]

Unfortunately that poll of "Your Most Hated TES Game" has got me thinking again about my level of disgust across the series and tbh i kinda need to update that so I guess I'll use this to organize my thoughts lmao

For the record, though, I haven't played EVERY TES game out there and those I did weren't finished half the time

Anyways let's get into it

Arena-Actually, lemme separate them into categories cause can you REALLY compare them all equally given how different they are

The Eldest of Scrolls

Arena: Probably the only one of the old-school games I actually finished. Big ol dungeon crawler. Magic goes boom. Hard to really "hate" the game cause I don't feel too strongly about it which is funny cause it's technically the first TES game I played (I waited a month for Oblivion to arrive in the mail)

Daggerfall: Never finished it. As I understand, though, it's Arena but More. I think this is one I'd have stronger feelings about had i actually stuck to playing it till the end

Battlespire: Arena but More but Without the Extra Roleplay. Probably more polarizing but again, barely got an hour or so in lol

Dawnstar/Shadowkey/Stormhold: Never played, but want to (especially Shadowkey) I hear they're all full of jank tho so who knows if i'd enjoy it

The Modern Scrolls

Redguard: Never played.

Morrowind: Played a full game and got through half of another, but given how hogwild I go with the modern TES games it doesn't feel like it's enough to deserve that "Worlds Biggest Hater" energy from me. I do think the "combat sucks" thing is overblown, though. Not saying it's perfect but maybe y'all are too used to the actionized games and/or using the wrong weapon for your skillset. Do not like how easy it is to get lost cause if you don't have Mark/Recall or an Intervention spell you can't just jump to a familiar location.

Oblivion: In short, it's the first TES game I truly played. So I love it for that but also hate it for its shitass levelling and whitewashing of lore/the Empire in more ways than one. I love it more now because of how streamlined Skyrim is. I hate it more now cause it was definitely a low point for Bethesda's worldbuilding. LOVE the CC and I remember spending over an hour creating my first character then immediately rerolling cause oops I overdid it. It's my problematic fave

Skyrim: Love the OCs and the adventures I made for it. Hate the fandom it grew. Love the art direction in comparison to Oblivion. Hate the "gritty" filter put over it. Hate its shitass writing and quests. Love the addition of skill trees but hate their implementation. Absolutely LOATHE the downgrade to magic (idc if it's "story integration" it still sucks) Heavily dislike how little choice you get at CC as far as your skills go. 50/50 on the cosmetic side of CC cause on one hand you can't go ham on face creation but on the other you can change things like weight and nose/eye types but on the other other hand weight is just muscle mass unless you're using the fem body where it's SLIGHTLY thicker

Spinoff Scrolls 2: Finger on the Monkey's Paw Curls

Elder Scrolls Online: This one's...complicated just by virtue of being an MMO that's STILL updating. When I first played it, it was a breath of fresh air over the previous entries not just cause of different gameplay but because having multiple characters was an actual tangible thing in-game. I'm an OC whore okay. The story of the base game felt a LOT tighter, too, given it was actually linear. 'Course, the writing always felt really good or really bad and rarely was it in-between. Either way I got very, VERY invested in it in a way I knew I would never be able to experience again and I will never forget that. The CC is Phenomenal and easily the best one in any TES game so far. (Boob and ass slider? FOR MEN TOO???)

Lore also was hit or miss, with me being VERY appreciative of them touching things that Bethesda never bothered with if it wasn't for killing (i.e. types of food, clothing, toys, etc) but also while the lore team did consult with Bethesda there were and still are some glaring oversights that feel like they shouldn't have happened (especially earlier in the game's life) Given there's still some hiccups I'm guessing the Bethesda team doesn't actually consider it very important (makes sense, the main games also bend lore for the sake of gameplay/Todd's whims A LOT, just look at Oblivion lmao) I also love love love that they touch on the weirder topics, even if sometimes it's done in a way that feels too...on the nose? idk how to explain it

Recent ESO, though? Writing got more and more bland, with some standout sidequests. Lore still hit or miss so that's whatever. I stopped caring for the gameplay after...Orsinium?...when I gave up on relearning how to play with the regular changes to combat. Gave up trying to fit my OCs stories into the new content too, even with new characters (helps that they're not as developed lol) Still play out of habit but I defo think it fell off and this recent change to the yearly content doesn't seem to be helping but then I haven't touched new content since High Isle lmao

Legends: Seemed interesting but never played it much lmao, lore/story seems to follow ESO's example of being hit or miss from what I saw

Blades: It was okay I guess. Another game I developed a habit for then promptly dropped after I finished building and upgrading my town. It's a mobile game so idk what I expected, annoying ads begging for money abounded. I did all of it without paying a single cent on my Switch and it was a slog but I did it. Pretty meh about it tbh

Castles: Looks cute. Never played it and probably never will.

[pancake-breakfast]

Ugh, too sleepy. Almost done with manga. Can't fall behind now....

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for TriMax Vol. 13, Chapters 7-9 below.

Chapter 7: Catch-As-Catch-Can

Yeah, don't overdo exercise training, kids. Not only is passing out DEFINITELY not good for you, but you can get seriously injured even if you have a spotter. Even if you only get a minor injury, it can put your training back weeks or months.

Awww, Livio looks so young here! Look at his short, floofy hair! I hope he grows it out a bit again. Maybe not quite like he had it before, but yeah.

Do people actually do finger push-ups, or is that just something for badasses in animation and comics?

Training montage!

Aw, man! He got to wear a Wolfwood outfit? I feel robbed.

Ok, Satosugu.

Ah, she's doing that thing again. I think.

Oh, what? Elendira's finishing move is a really big nail? Lame.

She's really putting lot into all this, though, isn't she? She looks a bit rough.

Oh, shoot. It's the nuke.

She senses something. I WONDER WHAT.

Yeah, it was Livio.

I like his simple mentality here. Very straightforward.

NO! No one's allowed to drink vials anymore! NO MORE VIALS!!!

Him? Wolfwood??

Chapter 8: Tipped Wings

CW: Gore

TBH I don't know how the hell Livio won this fight. Assuming he technically won at this point.

Heh. Yeah. "Him" was Wolfwood. But of course Livio knows him as Nicholas.

Aaaaand we're back to my favorite wet cat, Legato Bluesummers.

How does he know Elendira has been defeated? Did he have a little feeler in her? Was he skimming her brain kinda like when he had a little mind convo with Vash?

Dude. I thought you wanted to win this. You guys can't both die to each other in this fight. I will genuinely be annoyed if that happens.

Guernica? You mean the flail thing? That thing had a name???

Heh. I appreciate Legato calling Vash a force of nature here. After all, he is the Humanoid Typhoon.

Awww, look at baby Legato raiding the leftovers from July. Also, hasn't it been like 25 years since July? Just how old is Legato??

Ohhhhh, this is where Stampede got his character design. Like, yeah, they straightened his hair, but I recognize that short little jacket.

Welp, Knives has seen better days. Actually, this is a lovely turn on the way Rem is often paneled with Vash. Instead of a small Vash and a dominating, hopeful figure of Rem, we have a small Legato with a very, very broken Knives dominating the upper third of the panel.

Yes, because the thing Legato needs is another reason to have a psychotic break.

Geez, he's just... scooping up Knives' guts to try and... what, shove them back in? Carry them with them?

He's soooo sad, too.

Knives. What. The. Fuck. Just let the boy cry, idiot. He adores you. Also, talking while you're half corpsified is creepy. Cut it out.

Aww, Vash is still trying to save him. Gods, I wish Vash had found him instead.

Goodbye, weird machine gun doll flail thing. We barely knew thee.

Oh, dang. Legato got the jump on Vash.

Chapter 9: VS

I have no idea what's going on here. At least it led to weird, dramatic Legato pose?

Legato, no. This is not how it should be. This is not how anything should be.

Mmm, Wolfwood memories.

Vash is right. This isn't a fight anymore. But I think Legato knows that.

Oh, would you look at that. Thanks, literally the first panel on the next page.

Ok, but did Nightow have to draw his fingers this sexy here??

Legato's trying, but he's not getting through Vash's defenses.

Huh. Interesting that the Earth Fleet guy with his vastly broader knowledge of Plants would state Vash is a rarity. I like that all his sisters seem very fond of him, though.

Chronica is bitter about Domina. It might have been a bit of a mistake for Knives to off her.

Knives says this, but Chronica knows this, so... I wonder what she's actually planning here.

Wait, just who are they attaching a cable to??

Of course Milly and Meryl would have Vash's back.

Hahahaha, this really highlights the contrast between the two characters.

Love and peace, yo.

Gods, Legato just keeps coming at Vash. He's getting ripped apart by Vash's defenses, but he just keeps at it.

What? Vash? What are you doing?? You... you need that box, don't you???

Ohhh, they're doing shonen battle showdown pose. It's on now.

Aw, dammit. I guess it's on in the next (and final!) volume.

Archive

Trigun Vol. 1: Covers + 1-3, 4, 5-6, 7-8, 9-10 || Vol. 2: Covers + Extras, 1, 2-4, 5-6, 7-8

TriMax Vol. 1: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 2: Covers + 1, 2-4, 5, 6-7 || Vol. 3: Covers + 1-3, 4-5, 6-7 || Vol. 4: Covers + 1-2, 3-5, 6-7 || Vol. 5: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 6: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 7: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 8: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5 + Bonus || Vol. 9: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 10: Covers + 1-3, 4-5, 6-8 || Vol. 11: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 12: Covers + 1-3, 4-6, 7-9 || Vol. 13: Covers + 1-3, 4-6

Extra Credit: Trigun Vol. 1: Nebraska vs. Vash's Motivations, Vash's Loneliness, Vash's Depression (pt. 2 of post), Soupy Brains || Vol. 2: Coin Factoids || TriMax Vol. 1: Lina, Vash, and a Haircut || Meryl, Vash, and the Pursuit of Happiness || Vol. 5: Knives, Vash, and Hatred for Humanity || Vol. 6: Coping Series: Wolfwood, Meryl, Vash || Vol. 8: The Uncoordinated Counterattack || Vol. 9: Justice, Punishment, and Mercy, The Tolling of an Iron Bell || Vol. 10: Crucifixion Symbology (pt. 2 of post), Merging of Families, Being Childlike (And Why God Hates Chapel) || Vol. 11: New Hair, New Outlook