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beyondthetemples-ooc · 3 years ago

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OC-tober Day 2: Glass

OC-tober prompts put together by @oc-growth-and-development! I have to ramble in meta instead of write, because my brain is Mush lately. (I know I’m behind but I have a lot pre-written, I just need to put it into coherent words!)

This one especially can be rambled about at length, because the most important “glass” object in my stories is one I greatly enjoy exploring: Dove’s mindscape mirror!

^ I drew it forever ago; here’s the deviantArt link if you’d like to see the big version!

https://www.deviantart.com/ravenshiddensoul/art/Dove-s-Keepsakes-Mirror-and-Box-284227087

It’s largely modeled after a bird stretching its wings upwards, with a handle like a tail and certain details are inlaid with Azarathean gold to better channel its magics.

Now, this is where the rambling begins: The mirror’s backstory, and I’ll be exploring one of my favorite things to develop in all of my stories: Dove’s mindscape!

Dove's mirror isn't one of her most prized possessions, nor super incredibly sentimental, but it IS an object touched with her mother's magic, it has flourishes of Azarathean gold (some of the last pieces to exist), and it's useful for introspection and self-soothing, so it does have some value and importance.

Dove struggled with meditating quite a lot as a child, and there was only so much her mother could do to help. Meditation was pretty important to them as both a means of helping Dove control her powers, and as a staple of Azarathean spirituality. As she so often did, Alerina poked around and asked enough questions around the temple that she was told about Raven's mirror, and she decided to replicate it for Dove. She custom ordered a gold-lined wooden hand mirror, and then cast the spells to connect it to Dove's inner world herself. It took a few tries (it's much harder to connect something to someone else's mind than your own, after all), but she was nothing if not determined to help her daughter, and eventually figured it out.

As for its main purpose: Self-reflection! (If you'll pardon the pun.) Dove uses it to meditate, but where Raven uses hers for centering and compartmentalization, Dove uses it more as a blend of escapism and a focusing aid.

Much like Raven's, Dove's mirror acts as a portal to the depths of her mind, and this is where it gets fun!

The vortex that transports the users is usually white and gold, imbued with the same energies that give Dove her powers, at least on her mother's side. It's noticeably touched with black and red in DDD. (Dove's evil side starts taking over her mind, and thus its energies manifest through the mindscape, and Dove's portal into it, hence: black and red energies instead.) It tends to open up like a light tunnel and almost opens the mental world around the user, rather than dragging them in.

Once inside, one can't expect to navigate the same way as Beast Boy and Cyborg did in "Nevermore". Every mind is different, after all! We saw Raven's mindscape divided nearly into emotional sections with a neutral space between them, and the way through each area was preset and linear. While different parts of Dove's internal world manifest in different "areas", they're not so totally divided and separate, and there's no real "neutral" zone except at the very "center". The scenery changes, but it's more of a gradual transition, and though Dove employs thresholds to mark key areas, they're very much just visual aids.

Dove's mindscape is laid out more like a series of rooms and courtyards in a very (very, very, very) large mansion. The ground is generally of crystal, spires and columns decorate the scenery, and the thresholds are modeled after birds with their wings outspread. (While this seems like a play on Dove's namesake, it's actually based on Azarath's architecture, particularly that of George Perez's Azarath in the 1980's New Teen Titans comics.)

Dove's sky shows various stars and often casts moonlight from an uncertain source, particularly when she's introspecting. The ambient temperature varies amongst the locations, chilly in the regions ruled by fear and sadness, uncomfortably warm near her demon's domain, and comfortable and breezy where her peace and contentment reside.

One could easily get lost in her mindscape if they don't know where they're going. The place can shift and change on a whim.

Where Dove spends her time building that peace and contentment, it's very closely modeled after her mother's memories of Azarath (which is where she learned how to find peace, after all): there's marble and gold everywhere, and the stars twinkle with dozens of colors in the sky.

Where Dove retreats when there are feelings of timidity, her excruciating shyness, her grief and doubt, the world becomes shrouded in thick fog. Broken buildings and pale light litter the grounds.

Where she built her love for reading, for history, for creativity and study and learning, it's arranged as rooms with dark marbled tile and a carpeted path, the floor for dozens of feet on either side littered with piles of books.

Dove's inner happy place is an open field on gently rolling hills, where thoughts take the form of birds and somehow the sky holds both the stars and suns. One might find trees, flowers, abstract forms of cottages, and forts loaded with mugs and cozy cushions. If you wander far enough you'll find very tall stone walls surrounding it, because Dove's mind is such that her happiness is one of the few things she really truly believes she needs to protect from the rest of herself.

And then there are the aspects of herself that she shoves the deepest down, secreted far away from the surface: the anger, the hunger for power, the mean streak. (Yes, believe it or not, Dove does have a mean streak! You just have to work especially hard to bring it out. Or trigger her in just the right ways around sadism, violence, war, or death. It's very much Not Recommended; bringing too much of that mean streak out could mean Dove loses control of her powers, or worse: her demonic aspects.)

Those secret forces aren't so much located in one particular space of her mind as they're hidden in every dark corner, coursing through the underside of all the ground, a tantalizing power running through every part of her, only ever set free enough to use the dangerous powers to her own ends.

Her places for Fear and Curiosity in particular will be explored in the upcoming Missing: Raven rewrite. (As they're the strongest things Dove is feeling in that story, that's going to be what Beast Boy and Cyborg encounter.) I also explored the way these things manifest in DDD, and in that same story Dove will focus on rebuilding Peace in the final chapter.

I can't talk about Dove's mindscape without mentioning the "emoticlones". These fun little guys are called by the fanon term given to Raven's "emotion clones", the separate parts of her that express a specific set of traits based on particular aspects of her personality. I had so much fun playing with their voices and thoughts in Dove's head during DDD, you have no freaking idea! I also copied the concept of them having Colored Cloaks from Teen Titans canon, because honestly it's a quick and easy way to identify them, and the fandom's familiar with this system through Raven.

Which colors mean what was more inspired by details from a really old, now-defunct website called Cartoon Orbit that had separate "online trading cards" for each of Raven's emoticlones! On that site, Raven's were labeled as such, and this is what I based Dove's system on, loosely: - Pink: "Raven Happy" - Red: "Raven Rage" - Orange: "Raven Rude" - Yellow: "Raven Smart" - Green: "Raven Brave" - Brown: "Raven Fear" (I'm pretty sure there was a purple one, but I don't recall what it was called. "Love" maybe? That might be from fanon; this site was running like 15 years ago, and I was like 10 years old, so I hardly thought to pay Super Special Attention to it...)

But I digress. The point is, I adapted that system for the key aspects of Dove's unique personality, and came to understand them as follows:

- Pink: Joy, relief, coziness - Red: Cruelty, impulsivity, anger - Orange: Apathy, indifference, disregard - Yellow: Curiosity, study, intrigue - Green: Courage, determination, activity - Blue: Contentedness, pacifism, spirituality - Purple: Compassion, friendship, romanticism - Gray: Sadness, grief, longing. - Brown: Fear, fear, fear!

But for Dove's mind in particular, it's not only HER experiences and personality that form the world! She's a telepath, and though she holds others' privacy in very, very high regard and tries never to read someone's mind without their permission, her sense of receptive telepathy is ever-present. Echoes, lights, shadows, reflections of others' memories and thoughts might affect the very edges of her mind. It's a constant sense, but it only ever causes very ephemeral changes unless something deeply affects her.

Her mindscape also grows and changes as Dove grows and changes, experiences life, learns to cope, and changes how she handles her own emotions.

Most notably, the internal struggle in DDD tore her mind apart. Initially it was due to a breakdown of certainty and confidence, hastened by guilt and grief, but it soon became a deliberate tactic to wage war on the parts of Dove's mind that were trying to resist the evil; eventually her inner demon began intentionally breaking/corrupting everything it could touch.

By chapter 20, that evil is the only strong and stable thing in Dove's mind. Raven's attack to remove the evil in her took away that stability, and strength, and thus took away what was essentially the last support holding Dove's mind together. As it says in the story: "everything collapsed". Dove's mindscape was utterly destroyed, and only the most basic aspects of her remained.

For awhile, that left Dove unable to remember things clearly, or feel emotions without great pain. Rebuilding it to the point where she was able to talk and feel Mostly Normally again took months of meditation.

When Dove is kidnapped and Leyla has distressing dreams about her mother, she, Srentha, and Raven use the mirror to check on Dove by accessing her mindscape. With her powers stripped away, surrounded by people who mock her, and certain Fauni rituals sickening Dove to her soul, naturally her mind is very different: shadowy forms flitted at the edges of vision, the ground wavered, her discomfort was thick in the air and the constant fear made everything so, so cold. "Shadows" of others' thoughts flashed in and out of existence, and Dove's desperation manifests as fleeting voices on the wind. It's uncomfortable to be in her mind while she's so distressed.

It's also worth mentioning that her mindscape changes again, essentially "growing" the part of her that belongs to Love when she finally lets herself love Srentha, and it expands again when Leyla's born and Dove once more finds depths of love she didn't know she could carry.

#oc tober #oc tober 2021 #rhs has ocs and this is the tag about them #iala yona #ddd #rhs oc tober

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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The Legend of the Three Caballeros: Shangri-La-Di-Da and Sheldgoose Squaredance Reviews: The Last Ride (Comissoned by WeirdKev27)

SALUDOS AMGIOS.. THIS IS IT! The finale review of my retrospective on the Three Caballeros THE RIDE OF THE THREE CABLLEROS. It’s the final ride. While there will be, as i’ve said the last few time, a little epilogue to celebrate finishing this, as clocking in at 15 reviews, one best of list coming next week and covering a film, two sizeable comic book stories, and 18 episodes of television, this has been one of my largest projects and one of my proudest. But there will be time to look back next week. For now i’m amped up, excited about this series and excited to finish. So after the cut join me for one last full ride as our heroes face their final hour!

Shangri-La-De-Da: Our penultimate adventure begins with the Cabs returning home after training with King Arthur, where they apparently got a years worth of training in a day.. because apparently Camelot is one giant hyperbolic time chamber. But the training’s paid off as our heroes are now at their most skilled and most powerful: As a result Jose skifully and perfectly cuts an orange in seconds, Panchito ropes an apple from a nearbye stand (and the owner’s really cool about it since Panchito gives him the money for it “Thanks magic rope!”) and Donald.. breaks everything but in a really impressive ways. Our heroes are at their best and ready to take on Feldrake when the time comes, while Ari and the Bear.. are hiding what happened last episode with the girls investigating. Hey can’t win em all. Meanwhile Sheldrake is leading Sheldgoose into the Manor.. after a few goofs on him running into the barrier because he’s a petty asshole. They decsend into the depths bellow leaving Leopold to guard.

Back at the Cabana Donald just wants one more thing... Daisy.

I’ve.. gone on about why he shouldn’t do this last time. He deserves better. Xandra is right there and while she’s treated him shabbily from time to time. it’s more human error versus... everything with Daisy just everything. This plot point has been nothing but pain and suffering for me and it’s not changing that track record in these last two episodes, though thankfully it’s barely in the finale, so my own track record of screaming about daisy in text form every time she shows up will also remain in tact. He does this because Xandra offered them a vacation so he won’t be distracted.. again why isn’t she the love intrest? I dunno maybe sh’es more into Jose. And Daisy sucks on arrival, phrasing, as her response to Donald’s call wasn’t to just.. tell him no but to go to his place to clearly tell him no to his place saying “Let’s recap, you abandoned me in a bad part of town, spent our date in the bathroom all night in a hula skirt, then brainwashed my nieces into helping you trick me with a dummy”. Okay Daisy, you want to recap, you insufferable, pompus, selfish, self absorbed, overly demanding, overly haughty, golddigging rose colored shrew?

Let’s fucking recap: He left you in a bad part of town because he got FIRED from his job and found out his house burned down, something you REFUSED to let him explain. You found out about this and then proceded to berate him over dinner, saying he couldn’t possibly help people. While he did spend a while in the bathroom with a hula skirt nad never explained it the ONE point you have.. he LEFT to go help his friends, with you once again leaving instead of letting him come back and explain later or leaving but going to his place to hash this out or just dump him. THEN, something you CAREFULLY omitted, you moved on which is fine.. as a way to make him jealous, bringing the guy to his door to rub his beak in your new relationship with not a hint of shame,a nd ran off whie he was fighting for his life clearly. Now seeing things were more complicated, you asked NO follow up questions, imposed a date on him and while he did lie your nieces WERE NOT FUCKING BRAINWASHED. This was of their own free will you unbleivible she demon. You are so up your own ass you can’t even see the obvious. And then you came here JUST to say all this and be mean to Donald one more time. While Donald shoudln’t of called you up it’s not because of all that it’s because your a heartlress, selfish, shrivled husk of a person. You care about NO ONE but yourself, and that includes Donald. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

So Xandra just zaps them away and says she’s perfect for Donald.

Donald and Daisy end up in the himlayas.. cue the music.

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Why isn’t this game on Switch? Questions for later. Point is our heroes find a cave to duck in and a yeti.. who after clearing their throat reveals Xandra left them at the entrance for Shangri-La, and the inside is intorduced.. with a very lackluster musical number. A weak note for the songs to go out on but not bad, though Donald is pissed off because that’s his schtick here.. though credit where it’s do: Since I didn’t know everything and hadn’t finished it turns out his anger was delebrate.. but we’ll get to that and why it dosen’t work in a moment. Back at the Cabana the boys fence with bread before Panchito gets a flash as Sheldgoose puts the first amulet into..some kind of melting pool... and the girls confirm what happened seconds later. Feldrake has the amulets, which were used to seal him last time as revealed in last episode, and is melting them into his own power. The final battle is nigh! So Xandra goes to fetch Donald.. and comes back as she CAN’T. Donald and Daisy signed a contract and they can’t leave till ALL their problems are solved. And given Donald is carried off after his anger issues not only are evident when, given a pillow representing his frustratoins he destroys it, but he DENIES having anger issues, he’s dragged off to some extreme thereapy.. i.e. a Self Reflecting reflecting pool that manifests his anger as a giant, sausgey, pissed off version of himself and he reacts as you’d expect and gets flattned. Back at the Cabana, Xandra breaks the bad news.. and whie Jose TRIES to reassure them, his amulet is next to go so he gets a flash of it being destroyed and our heroes now have to scramble to take on Sheldgoose.. WITHOUT Donald. Back at donald’s inner hulk.. man I love this fucking job, Donald is pounding away until his own flash breaks things for a moment.. and sends him into his own head. We’re then treated to an acid sequece, an homage to Donald’s surreal reverire from the original movie that while not as wild, is still gloriously bizzare. Donald rencounters the teapot ghost thing that’s apparently part of his psyche from the first episode that gets him to consider why his life is like this and he goes through a lot of moments of the first episodes.. conviently eddting out daisy’s questionable behavior and the fact some things had actual catalysits. See the idea of Donald FACING his anger issues and growing from them is fine. But this has two faults. One, it assuems you can just.. cure anger issues. You can’t. Anger is a normal emotion and as someone with them I hope to generally work thorugh mine with a therapist.. but I know they just don’t magically go away and therapy is a process and your mental issues are lifelong things you have to grapple away. It’s not the MOST insulting treatment of emtoinal issues i’ve seen, as Total Drama you know had someone with MPD cured with a fucking button press, but it’s not great. And the second is this was poorly set up. Donald was an angry asshole all series yes and it was an issue.. but it wasn’t really FRAMED as a character arc. Just Donald being donald. So while having that be the source of his issues is a good idea for a character arc for im it comes off sloppy and forced because it’s been treated more like a joke or a character trait and less like a SERIOUS issue or the problem with him and Daisy. Hell they put the whole Dapper duck thing in there when he was fine that episode and is rightfully angry about that if at the wrong person. This whole thing just feels rushed, forced and unsatsifying and is a hsame for such a good idea

The payoff is good though, as when Donald awakens and let’s his anger wash away.. he just stands as the anger donald tries to beat the crap out of him.. but can’t do anything to him since he’s calm. He’s fine, and he’s released.. and his shock collar is disabled. Good quick gag. Meanwhile our heroes aren’t sure what to do despite having tons of magical items.. until they think what would donald do.. and he’d just at least try and thus corm a GIANT FUCKING MAGIC CANON OUT OF THEM. Very nice. They blow the doors off.. and through the back.. and into the money bin where we get a scrooge cameo.

And he’s voiced by Eric Bauza.. which is sadly not great because it’s far from his best work and dosen’t even really attempt a scottish accent.

But our heroes storm the gate.. after Xandra easily disposes of the dog guards.. who Sheldgosoe apparently raised to do this... still not entirely over that. They find the staircase and the triplets op to go back while the rest charge in and prepare to fight leopold.

Back at the Cabana, Donald and Daisy return via tub and Donald, seeing the swirling vortex of darkness outside sheldgoose manor, tells daisy he has to go his friends need him it’s his destiny, gives her one hell of a kiss she dosen’t deserve.. oh and earlier he told her “Thanks for being patient with me” and she tells him it was worth the wait. Ha ha... I hope you get hit by a rusty tractor you unfathomable blight on duck kind.

So part one ends with Donald heading for the treasure chamber to armor up.

Sheldgoose Square Dance: Part two begins with Sheldgoose putting the staff in place, and an egg emerging. Weird.. and as a result of that Leopold sense his ‘Daddy’ and leaves, and before the cabs can charge in donald shows up, now confident, at full strength and after tripping as you’d epxct, with the other cabs armor and in his. The guys suit up, and we get to see both jose’s.. amazing.. toned.. stomach.

And Panchito’s big belly.. which I have one of those so we’re twinsies. And Xandra of course watches Jose change slyly. Eh i’ts a bit creepy but I can’t blame her for sneaking a peak as long as she didn’t linger.

So our heroes are suited up, look awesome and have their trademark weapons Let’s fucking go!

Back at the ranch, the Nieces talk to daisy and having grabbed a weird document last time, are trying to piece it together. Daisy.. is suddenly really good with puzzles and helps them with it. They reform it and.. don’t really do much until after the danger has passed and I avoid another cornary yelling innterally at this unpleasant pile of hippo excrement.

So while the Cabs dash to stop feldrake feldrake awakens.. as a demon baby. And Sheldgoose has about a minute of mockery before feldrake smacks him around with telekensis and agrees while his mind’s affected by his current state, he’s still fully aware and can talk and seeing the cabs are coming gives him a bit of power, i’d say about as much or a little more than what feldrake had as a staff, and sends him after the cabs.

So we get one of the most awesome moments if not THE most awesome moment in the entire series as something from EVERY episode makes a come back as shelgoose, after trying some zaps, back in full robe and cloak, MAKES HIS OWN ZOOM POINT. Thus it becomes an utterly awesome back and forth as sheldgoose summons one thing from the past and xandra summons another to counter. And it avoids reptititon as the sheer sight of characters from each episode battling it out, and never knowing which ones next, keeps it intresting.

In order: Sheldgoose summons the moon bots, Xandra summons the roman gods to hack them to pieces, after the boys get some shots in too. Sheldgoose blocks the way with lava lizards, the cabs respond with a goblin army who block the lava river and use a cat launcher against them, courtsey of king vomit. Sheldgosoe unleashes the tengu, the cabs unleash king arthur.. and we get the immortal line from donald “Thanks king arthur!”. Sheldgoose summons his ancestors, the cabs summon the ghost presidents! And in a call back that had me clapping Sheld summons the termintes.. and xandra summons THE MINOTAUR! And Sheldgoose thirsts over him. .huh.. so shledgosoe is bi good for him. And for a final distraction sheldgoose summons.. the dragon.. that was from the adventure they just had he had no way of knowing about.

So with that out fo the way our heroes and villians both reach feldrake.. whose awakened and is.. this

Really.. weird , if still threanting, deisgn aside, Feldrake now at full power turns new quackmore into the psycadelic starry battlefield we saw in the intro to the series and thus the final battle begins. We see the fight from the start.. but it’s now even MORE beautiful and glorious with context. Before we saw three strangers, if ones we knew from other works fighting some evil we never met. Now we’ve seen our heroes grow, both as people, and as heroes, learning from every encounter, getting stronger with every fight and slowly getting noticably more compitent: going from falling all over themselves just to work a ship, to defeating dragons, tengu, and other horrors as a team. And we’ve seen jus thow petty and cruel feldrake is.. and how serious the stakes are and what our heroes tand to loose should they fail. It’s not perfect.. we could stand to loose daisy and new quackmore dosen’t mean much, though Sheldgoose gets to zap regina into a worm, but it’s still AWESOME and feels like a tremendous payoff and Donald’s predator bro fist thing with Panchito has more weight. Our heroes have risen to their peak and now they face one last obstacle to becoming legends. The fight is fluid, awesome and gorgeously animated and utterly epic in every sense of the word and we catch up to their seeming defeat.. only for something we DIDN’T know about last time to help.. Xandra who gets htem out of the way. It’s a long and fantastic fight, with our heroes eventaully getting knocked over to a pool while Xandra tries her best to hold feldrake off, but is clearly wearing down despite doing her best.

Yeah while itw as established Feldrake was melting down the amulets and we saw a pool of resdiual magic, so teh magical pool of stuff the cabs find them at WAS set up.. but what happens next remotely wasn’t. The cabs fall in and commuincate with blazebeak the creator of the amulets who embues them with their power. Where he came from, why he’s just showing up n ow.. I dunno, it comes off as a really badly setup deus ex machina.. but it still dosen’t hurt the finale that bad. A little yes, as everything else is so well paced and feels like so much payoff.. but the awesomeness of our heroes glowing with their signture colors, rushing in to save xandra and then ari, who swiped the rest of the magic goop, giving it to xandra to reivvie her.. overrides it. Sometiems somethings too stupid to be awesome.. and sometimes it’s so awesome it overides common sense. So yeah poorly set up yes.. still fucking awesome also yes.

Our heroes tear feldrake apart and realize once they see the now empty staff floating in the void they can simply reseal him. Sheldgoose interupts it.. but the nieces arrive riding on humphrey and knock him inot a golden toilet... again I fucking love this job. Our heroes then try ghost bustering him back into the staff and SHeldgoose tries saving him by breaking it. And it seemingly fails.. new quackmore is restored, Sheldrake’s gone and the town remembered EVERYTHING, cheering at their new heroes and saviors. Sheldgoose finds the staff gone and bemoans his lost master.. and soon looses his presidency as regina strips him of it. With his own powers gone Sheldgoose flees on Leopold, and while Regina tries to take the presdiency for herself.. the girls reveal the document explains if a sheldgoose is absent.. a coot takes his place. And since Donald is the only remaning coot apart from Della and she’s busy actually raising her kids in this continuity apparently, Donald is the new president. While Regina vows to beat him in an election.. our heroes are now happy, with the lawyer from the first episode backing Donald’s claim up. So Donald now has a new job, a new purpose in life, his girlfriend back, which is negiably a good thing, and a new family he dearly loves and tells them as much. Awww. Also he gets the mansion, which our heroes promptly plan to move into. Donald and Daisy fight, of fucking course, our heroes claim roms and Xandra and Jose share a moment. The series gets a truly satsifyign and happy ending.. and a sequel hook as it turns out feldrake is now in sheldgooses body and the tow are going ot have to share it as Sheldgoose has leopold take them to a house with legs.. so the baba yaga then. Sadly we’ll probably never see with this leads.. and this is the end.

Final Thoughts on the finale two parter: While the first half is a bit weak in the yeti stuff, the rest of it is incredibly strong and Sheldgoose Square Danc,e while having the worst name of the series.. is easily it’s best episode, tying everythign together greatly and being one, tense and epic finale the whole way through. A true masterpiece and a clear sign the series would be even BETTER going forward had it actually been allowed to live and a true shame.. but even with the sequel hooks aside.. it’s still an utterly sastifying, joyous note to go out on and i’m GLAD I saved this one for last, as it provided a great capper for both the series and this retrospective.

Final thoughts on Legend of the Three Cablleros:

This series.. was excellent. While at first I wasn’t sure it’s rep was warranted, as the first three episodes were good but had flaws and four and five were not great.. everything after that is sublime. The series has it’s flaws, the character devlopment is uneven, the characters can be made into caractures of themselves once in a while and the writing on Daisy is horrid and i’ve said enough on that to last me a lifetime and is easily the worst part of an otherwise fantastic show. But yeah.. as I said OTHERWISE fantastic, as while the daisy stuff is very bad, it’s for the most part in the background of a VERY good show with great voice acting, fun pacing, and beautiful animation. It’s a loveletter to clasic disney animation, holding tons of mythology gags and refrences and having humphrey as a main character, but with unquie touches like letting the nieces have a starring roll and everything about xandra and sheldgoose. It’s a unique, wonderful and awesome addition to the disney animated canon and deserves a second season or some other sort of revivial. This was a wonderful note to go out on and I’m throughly glad I finally watched it. So with this the Ride of the Three Cablleros is almost over.. but come back, let’s say next week, for one last party as we count down the top 12 cabs moments and celebrate these happy chappies in matching serapes one last time. Until then.. it’s been a pleasure.. and Kevin.. thank you.

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sevilemar · 3 years ago

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Hi, hello, just wanted to share. I haven't added anyone to my inner circle in ages too. People come and go, and I don't even try much. I was starting to add someone, even though I knew they were trouble, I knew it, but they didn't make me angree or tired, and I was so relaxed with them. It ended unpleasantly. I have so little people added in that I think I can't even see my snake anymore, I just added on top of it everything that I could find. I choose me, and as a person, they have enough of problems and too big of an ego, so it's already hard to deal with. I know I couldn't add someone without some evidence that they'd care about me too, without them being just a bit kind to others and... I want to be added in too. Idk, just something I was thinking about. Maybe you feel similarly. Idk.

I think we all become more cautious with new people the older we get. Past relationships leave their marks, after all. And you are absolutely right, I vet my people a lot more thoroughly now than I ever did before. Too many disappointments in my past, not enough therapy. I'm sorry it didn't work out with the last person you tried. It goes to show that we snakes need support and affection and care from our people, too. We love giving it, that's for sure, but we cannot give it to a vortex that just takes and takes without giving back. Not if we want to stay healthy. We are human like that.

I also think that the older we get, the more the circumstances of our life change as well. In our late teens or early twenties, we are busy finding ourselves, our jobs, and maybe our partners. Everything is changing, and there are a lot of opportunities to meet and connect with new people.

Fast forward a few years, late twenties or early thirties, and we have pretty much found ourselves and/or our partner or family, and settled on a job. I am pretty much settled into my life these days, and it takes either a long time and/or a conscious effort, or a traumatic event to change my habits and the way I think about myself. Finding, connecting to, and vetting new people is not as effortless as it once was; there is a heavyness to the process that is new, and kinda unpleasant.

I think it's very healthy for us to choose ourselves, first and foremost. "Me and mine" puts "me" first for a reason. It is rough if you don't have others to care about like you want to, believe me, I know. I have all these instincts that tell me to care about people, to choose someone new, to support them and give them what I have left. But for one reason or another, I cannot, not fully, and that hurts so bad sometimes. So I do what I can to the people I have left, with whatever energy I can muster. The rest, I focus on myself. And I owe it to myself to find people who can deal with what I want to give them. And I don't just mean take it all, but work out a way that supports both of us for a long time. Because dealing with loss becomes harder every time, and I hate doing it.

Actually, I have no idea if I have many people in my circle or not. Is seven a lot? Everyone else is an acquaintance or important because they are important to my people.

#sortinghatchats #sorting hat chats #snake primary #burned snake primary #ask answers #thank you for sharing an reaching ou nonny :)

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spitandfroth · 4 years ago

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My Psychedelic Journey

Why take mushrooms?

What do they do to you?

I want to explain why I take them, my reasoning is not for everyone if anyone else at all! We all have our reasons.

So, Since being 16 i have taken drugs, started on pills, then coke and onwards. I had a coke & speed addiction for a 2-3 year period and often relapsing. I had consciously not taken psychedelics as i have known I've been mentally ill since being 20 and being diagnosed and given Prozac at that age. I was wary that i would have bad trips or i would be stuck on a trip. I just felt the risks were too high, especially taking medication and all the other drugs. Pretty sure i took LSD one night at a party was these green things and i was off my nut, i was in a different reality and i was quite honestly scared. i went skinny dipping in November at Great Yarmouth beach! So yeah it was a weird thing to happen and to this day can't remember what these pills/little plastic-looking things were or what i did with them, literally can't remember if it was paper or a pill. they were just in a bowl with all the other drugs.

I digress, several years later, I’d been clean maybe 1-2 years of all substances including weed, well maybe the odd joint but we moved somewhere we couldn't find a supplier! So we would have to make a 2-hour drive down to manchester just to pick up but eventually decided it wasn't worth the money in fuel. We were also skint which didn't help matters. We eventually found a supplier of weed and met new people who like us, liked drugs. We started sessioning on anything and everything. Mainly research chemicals as they were cheap and plentiful. m-kat hadn’t be criminalised at that point so we were importing large amounts of it. My friend, Xander decided to start making his own drugs. We were all sceptical about it but we trusted him. He made LSE(?) which is pretty much LSD but i think weaker, that trip was a nightmare as i spoke to my boyfriend just before the trip and i hadn't hung up and he heard me slagging him off...Anyway, moving on lol He made DMT one day, took ages. We had enough for the 3 of us who wanted to do it and my god, it's a short trip but it changed my way of thinking forever. I may revisit the DMT experience later. We did DMT a fair few times before i abruptly moved out as i ended the relationship with my boyfriend.

Now i did some research online, it wasn't as fruitful in results as it is today, we are talking 10 or so years ago. So came across mushrooms and some scant info on where to find them and how to take them. I went for a walk with the dogs, we lived in the middle of nowhere, 1500 ft above sea level (lived on top of hartside) and by a river and lots of sheep. Anyway, i started looking in sheep fields and soon realised that the fields were full of them! I would collect enough for a few doses at a time and dry as much as possible. I was taking shrooms 3-4 times a week including at times DMT.

So we’ve got to where i am taking them, i best explain why and what the effects were.

To be honest i took it as an escape. My relationship was a nightmare, he made me feel like death was my only escape. I had spoken to friends who had used psychedelics and they thought it might help me feel better. I had started being in pain a lot too at that point but not medicated for it. I was still taking meds but when planning i stopped taking them the day before. As Psilocybin is affected by SNRI’s. That applies to most drugs though tbh. it gives you a very high tolerance, you have to take more to feel it. Which could result in serotonin syndrome.

I wanted to search deeper inside myself, i had been interested in Buddhism and Krishna consciousness for maybe a year at that point and i saw it as a way of speaking to god. to confirm to myself that he existed. What i got was a revelation.

So using it so regularly means i can't remember each trip but i can give you what i learned and saw from those experiences.

I would take maybe 10g (its rough but 6 cup teapot with a handful of shrooms in) of fresh shrooms in tea. Tasted rank but get it down you! Then wait, and it is a waiting game!

I would sit cross-legged, often by the log burner, just close my eyes, listen to music and i would feel calm. A completely blissed feeling. An inner peace. I could see patterns and colours, swirling great vortex’s of colours and light. If i opened my eyes the patterns and colours overlayed the room and i would just forget i was in the room. I would see parts of my past, like showing me it wasn't my fault, that i should let go of trauma. I saw my present and it was like looking at my brain, black, covered in clouds and dying. If i touched it then there was a flash of colour. I saw the energy of the universe in front of me, glowing and pulsating in front of me, my heart beating with it, a feeling of supreme power came over me like i had been recharged. I was seeing my future, i saw the love i am capable of giving and receiving. It showed that my empathy wasn't a weakness and showed i was a good soul, It made me think deeply on experiences and learning from them, it cleansed me, it rewrote who i was. All hate drained from me. At peace with myself and others. The visuals were amazing, you can't describe it, you cant show the colours on a palette, you cant imagine the scale of this place. It truly was an amazing thing to do with my life for a year.

So it showed me a different me and overtime i morphed into that person. Today i am still hugely empathetic towards people. I have a kind and calm nature. I don't hold onto hate & i respect myself more.

However, i have decided i need to revisit the energy, i need its healing and recharging. I want to journey further and this time i get to do it with someone i love, my sister. She’s used drugs infrequently for a few years but like me, she has mental problems and wants to try shrooms more holistically than just ‘getting high’ and she thinks i can do that with her. I will be there to look after her, to experience everything with her. I want her to get to where i did and she sees life differently. That she grows as a person. It will be a very special journey that i get to be a part of.

So we reach the end of my epic. I hope you read it and enjoyed it. Maybe learn something, understand it better, i don’t know but most of all it's out there. Sharing experiences are a solid way of learning and getting to know someone.

Enjoy your mushrooms, be safe & enjoy your trip <3

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atomic-taco-muffin · 4 years ago

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The Lost Princess Chapter 44

Warnings: same as the other chapters

Rating: SFW

Sora piloted the Gummi Ship through the Phantom Storm to a dark underworld, were above in the Olympus Coliseum, Hercules had just defeated the Rock Titan.

“Huh?” Sora asked.

“Are ya sure this is the coliseum?” Goofy asked.

“It's that way!” Donald said as he pointed to a set of stairs leading upward.

“Oh... Guess we were a little off,” Sora said. They heard a scream and saw a woman running from a bunch of Rabid Dog Heartless. The woman fell and the Heartless were upon her.

“Heartless!” Sora said. Sora and the others ran over, scaring the Heartless away. Sora offered to help her up.

“Thanks, but...I'm fine,” she said as she stood up.

“And you're supposed to be?” She asked.

“I'm Sora, he's Donald, and that's Goofy. We came to see how Hercules is doing,” Sora said. The woman looked at each of them in turn.

“You know Wonderboy?” she asked.

“Yeah, 'cause we're heroes, too!” Donald said.

“Ya mean, junior heroes, Donald,” Goofy said.

“Looks like we have a friend in common. Name's Megara. My friends call me Meg.”

“So how's Herc?” Sora asked.

“Wonderboy? Well, he's duking it out at the Coliseum every day. You know, ‘a hero's work is never done’ and all that. He's ready to drop, but he keeps on fighting. Even Wonderboy has his limits, though. These opponents are bad news---special deliveries from Hades himself...” Meg said.

“Hades!?” Donald asked.

“Right. Lord of the Underworld. I was on my way to see him. Maybe I can get Hades to give Wonderboy a breather. If anything happens to that kid...”

“Gawrsh... Sounds like you're more than just friends!” Goofy said.

“Oh...uh, I mean...”

“We'll go have a little talk with Hades. I'd hate for anything to happen to you on your way to see him,” Sora said.

“You really want to do that? Well, it looks like you know what you're doing. I guess I'll take you up on that offer. But...let's keep this whole chat-with-Hades thing our little secret, okay?”

“Our lips are sealed!” Sora, Donald, and Goofy entered the Cave of the Dead. They saw a cloaked man running through the cave.

“The Organization!” Donald said.

“Yeah. Maybe he knows where (Y/N) is,” Sora said. They continued through the passage into the Inner Chamber to find the cloaked man still running.

“Run! Run away!” he said (he’s too precious for this world!). He eventually faded away.

“Okay...?” Sora asked. Meanwhile, Hades was speaking with Pete in Hades's Chamber.

“Where do they dig these freaks up? Geez, Louise,” Hades said.

“Oh, they're nuttin' but trouble, the whole lot of 'em. So, uh...what're you gonna do about Hercules? He's made mince meat outta every fighter you sent at him. Pretty soon the Underworld's gonna be standing room only. Say, why don't you just pick somebody already dead and save him the trouble?” Pete said. Hades got annoyed at Pete and slammed his fists on the edges of his chair. Pete covered his head, while Pain and Panic hid behind him. Hades thought for a second.

“Dead... Dead is good! And I know just the warrior,” Hades said.

~~~~

Sora, Donald, and Goofy entered the Valley of the Dead. Donald shivered in fear.

“I'm scared too, Donald,” Goofy said.

“Hades, come out!” Sora said. They walked across the bridge and up the stairs. Pete, Hades, Pain, and Panic were looking into Hades's giant swirling vortex

“By the by, uh... What's down there?” Pete asked.

“Just the Underworld's deepest dungeon. This time I'm bringing out the mother of all bad guys,” Hades said. Pete started to back away from Hades. Pain and Panic had already hidden behind a stone pillar.

“You don't say. Well... Maybe I should go,” Pete said. Hades formed a ball of fire in each hand and tossed them into the abyss. There was a large explosion, causing a pillar of smoke to rise out of the hole. Lightning coursed through the red smoke as a figure emerged. Hades started to laugh.

“Let's cut to the chase. Here's the deal I'm gonna offer you. I let you out of the slammer---no strings---you'll be free as a bird,” Hades said. Auron listened as he looked over to Pete, who was against the wall near Pain and Panic. Pete, still afraid and not knowing what else to do, simply waved at Auron.

“And all for one little job. Fight Hercules, in the Coliseum...to the death!” Hades said.

“This is my story. And you're not part of it,” Auron said as he raised his sword.

“Did you forget who you're talking to? I am the Lord of the Dead!”

“No wonder no one wants to die.” (oooohhhh! burn!)

“You are FIRED!” Hades turned red in a blaze and charged toward Auron, who blocked with his sword. Sora, Donald, and Goofy ran in.

“Hades!” Goofy said. Hades got distracted and his fire turned blue again.

“You again?” he asked. Suddenly, Auron knocked him back.

“Fight!” he said. Auron struck Hades, who stopped the sword with his hand and threw Auron back. Hades punched Auron to the ground. He conjured two fireballs aiming at the fallen Auron. Sora ran between them and they dissipated.

“Get up!” he said. The trio tried to fight Hades.

“Something's wrong!” Donald said.

“I feel kinda funny...” Sora said.

“That's right! See, that's the thing. In the Underworld, heroes are zeroes---comes with the territory,” Hades said. The two fireballs appeared again and Hades charged the group. Auron sliced down with his sword, but Hades teleported in a puff of smoke.

“Go now!” Auron said.

“But I've gotta talk to Hades!” Sora said.

“What was that?” Hades asked, having his fingers in his ears. Sora tried to charge, but Auron stopped him. Hades made fireballs again as Donald and Goofy ran out of the room.

“We can't fight him here! We have to go---now!” Auron said. He pulled Sora, who didn’t budge. Auron left Sora, who eventually ran as Hades threw the fireballs at them. They left the chamber and ran down the stairs. Sora and Goofy closed the gates and tried to catch their breath.

“Is he gone?” Donald asked.

“Don't count on it,” Auron said.

“Huh?” Sora asked. Hades appeared on their side of the door next to Sora.

“Leaving so soon?” he asked. They hurried to the exit, evading Hades and the Heartless he conjured. When they reached the Inner Chamber of the Cave of the Dead, they caught their breath.

“You're really good. Are you some kind of hero?” Sora said. Auron shook his head.

“No, I'm no hero...I'm just an...” he said.

“Huh?” Sora asked.

“Auron.” Sora and Goofy looked at each other.

“My name,” Auron said.

“I’m Sora.” Donald jumped onto Sora's shoulders.

“Donald,” he said. Goofy also jumped onto Sora's shoulders.

“Goofy!” he said. Sora couldn't hold them up, so they fell in a pile.

“It seems we were fated to meet. Maybe you need a guardian,” Auron said. Sora pushed Donald and Goofy off him.

“Guardian? Thanks, but no thanks,” he said. Sora started to walk to the passageway. Auron slightly chuckled. Meanwhile, Pete met with Hades.

“I got Heartless all over the Underworld now. So you can leave those pipsqueaks to me. Look, pal, you just keep working on turning Hercules into a Heartless. Then he'll be all mine,” Pete said. Hades stopped and turned around angrily, turning red.

“This is my underworld, you idiot!” he said. Pete jumped back in fear.

“I'll handle this MYSELF!” Hades said. Hades slightly cooled down and snapped his fingers. Hades's giant three-headed dog showed up in the window.

“Cerberus, go!” he said. The dog left in a hurry. Meanwhile, Sora, Donald, Goofy, and Auron ran to the entrance of the Cave of the Dead.

“What? It's closed!” Donald said. Sora, Donald, and Goofy tried to push apart the doors.

“Come on, open!” Sora said. Donald looked up and saw a keyhole chained to the door. The Keyblade appeared in Sora's hand.

“Will that open it?” Auron asked.

“Yeah. I think so,” Sora said. Sora started to point the Keyblade at the lock when they heard a roar and looked behind them.

“Hurry!” Auron said as he readied his sword. Cerberus jumped into the entranceway. Sora unlocked the door and the keyhole and chains vanished. Donald and Goofy opened the doors as Cerberus ran up to them. Auron stopped them by shoving his sword between one of the dog's teeth. He held them there, pulling the sword out and knocking them away. Sora ran to the door, but turned around and saw Auron fighting alone.

“Uh...” Donald said. Sora ran back into the fray.

“Sora wait!” Donald said. The dogs roared and Sora and Auron fought them. Cerberus, nearly beaten, struggled to stand.

“Come on!” Donald said. Sora and Auron ran through the gates, which started to close. Sora, Donald, and Goofy made faces at Cerberus, as it ran to the closing doors. Meanwhile, Meg spoke to Hercules in the Coliseum Foyer.

“Come on, Wonderboy, play hooky for a day. For old time's sake?” Meg said.

“They came to see me. They came to see a hero. I can't let them down,” Herc said. Meg sighed, seeing his tired condition.

“Don't worry, Meg. I'll be fine. What does a hero need rest for, huh?” Herc said. He flexed his biceps and waved goodbye to Meg.

“See ya!” he said. He left into the Coliseum to cheering crowds.

“Sora, don't let me down,” Meg said.

~~~~

Sora, Donald, and Goofy stood in the Underworld Entrance.

“Whew...” Sora said.

“Huh?” Donald asked.

“What happened to Auron?” Goofy asked.

“He can take care of himself. Let's go find Meg. Then we can try this again,” Sora said. Donald and Goofy nodded. Meanwhile, Hades sat in his Chamber with Pete, Pain, and Panic watching anxiously.

“Let me see if I got this right... That brat's Keyblade works on any lock?” Hades said.

“That's right,” Pete said.

“Have I ever told you about the killer coliseum we have right here in the Underworld? It makes the one upstairs look like an Olympic kiddie pool.”

“Then that's the place we're gonna put an end to Herc the Jerk's winnin' streak.” Pete pounded his fist on the table making Pain and Panic jump.

“Problem. Zeus locked it tight,” Hades said. Pete looked annoyed. Hades chuckled, and Pete understood.

“Bingo... All we gotta do is swipe that key...and then reopen the Underdrome!” Hades said.

“Hate to tell ya, but that key is kinda particular. It won't work for just anybody. And that kid ain't no pushover,” Pete said. Hades tapped a finger on the arm of his chair.

“I think this calls for a woman's touch,” he said. He snapped his fingers, and with a puff of smoke, a doll version of Meg appeared in his hand. In the Foyer, Meg felt like she's being watched. Meanwhile, Sora, Donald, and Goofy walked into the Coliseum Gates.

“Gawrsh, this sure does bring back memories!” Goofy said. They walked to the Lobby doors and saw a tired Hercules walkout.

“Sora! Donald! Goofy! When'd you get here?” Herc said.

“Hey, Herc!” Sora said.

“Hi!” Donald waved.

“Howdy there!” Goofy said.

“Where’s (Y/N)? I thought that she would be with you three.”

“She was kidnapped by two girls who have similar powers as her,” Sora said.

“Oh no! That’s terrible! Well, I know that she’s strong. I bet she can handle herself.” Hercules walked down the steps closer to them. Meg appeared in the doorway.

“You on another adventure?” Herc asked.

“Yeah, trackin' down some friends, wipin' out some Heartless,” Sora said.

“Junior heroes, always busy!” Sora and Hercules locked hands.

“You know it!” Sora said. They entered the Coliseum Foyer.

“So, did you and (Y/N) find those friends of yours?” Herc asked.

“Still working on it. When we got here, we ran into Meg---meg-mega trouble, I mean! So we had to help somebody out. We tried to go teach Hades a thing or two...but the Underworld drains away all our strength. Don't suppose you have any ideas?” Sora said.

“Well, there is a stone that guards against the Underworld's curse. The gods on Mount Olympus use it whenever they have to go down there.”

“Think we could use it?”

“Sure, why not! I'll go get it for you.”

“Thanks!” Donald said.

“Real nice of you!” Goofy said.

“But Hades is no pushover, even if you've got the Olympus Stone. And I have a match today, so I can't go with you... Know what you need? Training! Why don't you go talk to Phil?” Herc said.

“Hey, good idea!” Sora said. They entered the Coliseum and saw Phil, who's not looking in their direction.

“Hey champ, how ya feeling? Better rest up for tomorrow's match. Nobody's gonna pay to see a worn-out hero...capiche? Remember what I told you. Victory in the games comes down to two simple words: Eat, bathe, sleep!” Phil said. Goofy was counting the words on his fingers. The three looked at each other and laughed. Phil jumped around, and realized who's laughing, and ran over to them.

“Hey, if it ain't the junior heroes!” he said.

“Lookin’ good, Phil,” Sora said.

“Never better! How you guys been? Have you earned your ‘true hero’ wings yet?” They thought about it for a second.

“Nope, you ain’t got what it takes,” Phil said. They were surprised at this. Sora scratched his head.

“So, what’s up?” Phil asked. They told him their current situation.

“Ha ha ha! You three are gonna take on Hades?” Phil laughed.

“What’s so funny?!” Donald asked.

“You got nerve. I like that. Hey, you never know---stranger things have happened, right? Better get cracking, boys! So you want to train, eh? All right, I’m gonna work you hard!” Sora smashed pots and collected the orbs that came out of them.

“How was THAT?” Sora asked.

“It ain’t over yet, kid! There’s more on the menu. You can relax once you’ve finished ALL the training,” Phil said.

“No problem!”

“Now get ready for the real thing. If a big one appears, don’t let it get away.” Sora smashed more pots and collected the orbs. Herc entered the Coliseum.

“Listen, I gotta take off for a bit,” Phil said.

“Where to?” Sora asked.

“None of your business.” With that, Phil left.

“Sorry guys...The Olympus Stone has been stolen,” Herc said.

“What?!” Sora and Donald asked.

“By who?” Goofy asked.

“We don’t know who did it yet. All we’re sure of it is that it was a guy in a ba black-hooded cloak. And he had accomplices---a bunch of creatures in white and two girls.” Donald looked at Goofy, who nodded.

“Someone you know?” Herc asked.

“Yeah. Those two girls were the ones who kidnapped (Y/N). Hey, if we can get the Olympus Stone back, can we borrow it for a while?” Sora said.

“Sure. By the way, you haven’t seen Meg around, have you?” The trio shook their heads.

“Oh, okay...” Herc sighed.

“What’s wrong, your hero-ness? Feeling under the weather?” Hades asked. He appeared and placed a hand on Herc’s shoulder. He ducked away from Hades.

“You know, I thought staying in perfect shape was part of the hero job description...you know what I’m saying?” Hades said.

“Oh, right...Hades, we gotta talk!” Sora said. Hades flicked Sora to the ground.

“I came here to share a bit of mildly-interesting news:” Hades said. Herc sneaked behind Hades for a punch.

“Seems your dear, sweet little Nutmeg...” Hades said as he telporte behind Herc.

“...Went and got herself lost in the underworld,” he said.

“You mean you kidnapped her!” Herc exclaimed.

“Well, maybe...But why get caught up in the details?” Herc whistled and a brilliant winged horse flew over the Coliseum walls, landing next to Herc.

“Uh-uh-uh! You can’t leave now, okay?” Hades said. Herc was stopped from getting on Pegasus.

“You’ve got a very important match today, um...the bloodthirsty Hydra! I mean, if you don’t stick around, who knows what kind of ‘accidents’ might happen,” Hades said.

“Yeah, accidents you caused,” Sora said.

“Like I said: details, who needs ‘em?”

“You're just a coward,” Herc said. Herc and Pegasus looked angry. The horse flapped its wings and shook its head.

“Ah well. Can't all be heroes,” Hades said. Hades vanished in a puff of smoke.

~Le Timeskip b/c I Wanna See Ma Boi Demyx~

After fighting a few Heartless, the trio entered The Lost Road. Sora worked out the kink in his shoulder.

“Man... This Underworld curse is really getting to me,” he said.

“We've got to get that Olympus Stone back fast!” Goofy said. They continued into the Atrium, where the found the hooded man, who turned around to face them.

“Huh? Ah! You!” he said and took off his hood.

“Wait a sec... Roxas?” he asked.

“Excuse me?” Sora asked.

“Wow, you really are that stupid,” someone said.

“Hey! You can’t talk about your Uncle Demyx that way!” Suddenly, Roxy appeared next to Demyx.

“Actually, I can,” she said.

“Roxy! Where’s (Y/N)?!” Sora said.

“I ain’t telling you that. It’ll ruin the fun.”

“Huh? What’s going on? What are you talking about?” Demyx pulled out a note and began to read it.

“Let's see, here... ‘If the subject fails to respond, use aggression to liberate his true disposition’... Right. Did they ever pick the wrong guy for this one...” he said.

“For the love of...you actually have a note? This is why you have me to take care of things,” Roxy said.

“You're bizarre...” Sora said.

“Who the hell are you calling bizarre?!” Roxy shrieked. Demyx took out the Olympus Stone from his pocket.

“He's gotta be the thief!” Goofy said.

“Now that's just plain rude!” Demyx said. He held the stone up and glowed with light. He took out his sitar and began playing it.

“I’m leaving this up to you. Don’t mess it up,” Roxy said and disappeared.

“Dance, water! Dance!” Demyx said. He conjured water creatures and Sora defeated them all.

“Not bad, Roxas!” Demyx said. He held his shoulder in pain.

“Roxas, come back to us!” he said and vanished.

“Guy's a broken record,” Sora said.

“Hey, look!” Donald said. He picked up the Olympus Stone that Demyx had dropped. He gave it to Sora, who held it up. They glowed with light and felt their power return.

~Another Time Skip b/c I’m Lazy~

“Oh, well, take care you guys! Stay a little longer next time. We got some serious training to catch up on,” Phil said.

“Well, time to go. Oh, I almost forgot. The Olympus Stone,” Sora said. He took out the stone and Hercules weakly stood up. Before Hercules touched the stone, it glowed brightly. Sora opens another gateway. After saying goodbye, they boarded the GummiShip and headed to the next world.

~~~~

“Wait, so let me get this straight. You’re trying to stop your dad from forming Kingdom Hearts?” you said.

“That’s exactly what we said, dumbass,” Roxy said.

“Roxy!” Yui scolded. Roxy groaned and slouched.

“But...what do I have to do with any of this?” you asked.

“You’re here to teach us the true meaning of a Spirit, are you not?” Yui said.

“I am.”

“Then, you have the power to stop our father.”

“Shouldn’t you be able to do that?”

“No. Only you can do it. Afterall, you are Xehanort’s daughter.”

“Huh? How did you know that?”

“Our dad is his nobody,” Roxy said.

“And you want me to convince him not to summon Kingdom Hearts and work for my father.”

“Now you’re getting it! You were right, Yui. She ain’t that dumb.”

“But the thing is, he’s not my real dad.”

“Huh?” the twins asked.

“Back at Castle Oblivion, my brother, Vanitas, showed me who my real parents were,” you said as you took out your dagger.

“If only I knew how my mother died,” you said.

“We know how ours died,” Yui said.

“How did she die? I-if you don’t mind me asking.”

“No, no. It’s fine. We’ll tell you. When we were little, our mom took us to a park.”

“We had a lot of fun there. Soon it was time to head back,” Roxy said.

“As we were approaching the castle, a Heartless showed up and killed our mother.”

“That’s horrible!” you said.

“It was. Our dad hasn’t been the same since,” Roxy said. You looked down for a minute but then looked at the twins with a serious face.

“Tell me what I have to do,” you said. The twins smiled and stood up.

“Then let’s get started,” Yui said.

To be continued...

#kingdom hearts #kingdomhearts #kingdom hearts imagine #kingdom hearts imagines #kingdom hearts x reader #kingdom+hearts+x+reader #kingdom+hearts+imagines #kingdom+hearts+imagine #kingdomhearts x reader #kingdomhearts imagines #kingdomhearts+x+reader #kingdomhearts+imagines

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volcanofireflame150 · 5 years ago

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Everyone’s Zanpakutos, Shikai, Bankai, and Attack Moves

To the people who are not familiar with the anime series called Bleach, each Soul Reaper has a Zanpakuto, the Zanpakuto that they wield, they are part of their owner's soul, a Zanpakutō cannot be replaced, though it will slowly regenerate if it is broken. The size of the Zanpakutō reflects the amount of the swordsman's spiritual power. Now Shikai and Bankai, Shikai is the second (or first upgraded) form available to a Zanpakutō. To activate it, the Soul Reaper needs to learn the name of their Zanpakutō. This is not as easy as simply picking a name, for the living spirit of the Zanpakutō already has its own name. The Soul Reaper must be able to communicate and harmonize with their Zanpakutō effectively, which requires being able to speak to the spirit within its world gaining access to one's Shikai and releasing it for the first time is known as Manifestation. Now Bankai is the second and final upgraded form of a Zanpakutō when a Shinigami achieved it, they would possess an "Evolved Zanpakutō" (進化した斬魄刀, Shinkashita Zanpakutō). To achieve Bankai, one must be able to materialize and subjugate their Zanpakutō spirit. Materialization means the opposite of getting dragged into the Zanpakutō's inner world: the wielder needs to summon the Zanpakutō's spirit into the physical world. It usually takes 10 years or more to achieve, plus the experience needed to master it. Now the attack moves are something I have added because 2 moves isn’t enough for me so I went in deeper into the world of my creative brain, the attack moves are basically like Pokemon moves, but instead of 4 I’ve written a lot of moves for Akari. But most of the information I took is from the Bleach Wiki, credit goes to the owner, I just can’t make up my words to save my life when it comes to the things I like. But without any further ado, let me show you on what each EXO member has, also I’m going to put Akari in here:

Akari Itsuki: Shadow Phoenix, Burst, Faint Flame Beast Attack, Fire Burst, Solar Flare, Super Nova/Fire Shield, Phoenix Rage, Phoenix Wrath, and much more.

Now about Phoenix Rage and Phoenix Wrath, I know that they are in the same category but not in this case, Phoenix Rage is Flamethrower and Phoenix Wrath is Heat Wave. I thought this through when I was coming up with Akari and her Zanpakuto. Burst is Shikai and Faint Flame Beast Attack is Bankai

Kim Minseok: Blizzard, Berserk Ice, Take Aim, Diminish, Freeze, Winding Blizzard Barrage, and Blizzard Technique

Blizzard is Xiumin’s Zanpakuto, his Shikai is Freeze, and his Bankai is Winding Blizzard Barrage

Luhan: Serene Jewel, Dissolve, Shatter Chakra, Radiate, Drain, Ravage, Blind, Change, and Summon

Luhan’s Zanpakuto is Serene Jewel, his Shikai is Radiate, and his Bankai is Summon.

Kris Wu Yifan: Swift Tiger, Spark, Feral Tiger Stab, Shred to Pieces, Burst with Anger, and Relish in Pain

Kris’ Zanpakuto is Swift Tiger, Shikai is Shred to Pieces, and Bankai is Feral Tiger Stab.

Kim Junmyeon: (previously) Swift Winter, Massacre, Screech, Scattering Rain Fall, Singing Jolt of Gravity Mind, and Wicked Beast Push

Now: Majestic Octopus, Whip, Seed Chaos, Ambush, Choke, Feast, Pound, Massacre (Octopus style), Knock, Disrupt Gravity, Hurl, Bash, Rip to Shreds, and Frightening Kiss of the Majestic Giant Octopus

Suho’s Zanpakuto is Majestic Octopus, he originally had Swift Winter then I changed it later on in the story, his Shikai now is Rip to Shreds, and Bankai is now Frightening Kiss of the Giant Majestic Octopus

Yixing Zhang: Little Earth, Heal, Shield, Protect those in need, Rise, Fan Away, Shining Light,Starlight Heal, Bird Spear, and Light Supreme Raze

I decided to make Lay the healer in this because of his caring nature, and his power is to heal others, anyways, his Zanpakuto is Little Earth though he calls her Raven, Shikai is Shield, and Bankai is Protect those in need

Byun Baekhyun: Masked Halo, Divergent Light, Harmonize, Forsake, Biting Force of Solar Root, White Starfall Spell, and Starlight Blow

Baekhyun’s Zanpakuto is Masked Halo, Shikai is Divergent Light, and Bankai is Biting Force of Solar Root.

Kim Jongdae: Curious Heart, Reign from Above, Envelop, Spring Method, Serene Storm Bolt, Storm Blast, Thunder Claw, and Storm Bash

Chen’s Zanpakuto is Curious Heart, Shikai is Storm Blast, and Bankai is Reign from Above

Park Chanyeol: Colossal Jaguar, Beast Attack, Prey upon the Weak, Terrorize, Rip, Scratching Stab of the Autumn Jaguar, and Dying Panther Slash

Chanyeol’s Zanpakuto is Colossal Jaguar, I picked the Colossal one because of how tall Chanyeol is, Shikai is Prey upon the Weak, and Bankai is Scratching Stab of the Autumn Jaguar (which is one heck of a mouth full)

Do Kyungsoo: Grim Earth, Rave, Mark with Fire, Vanish, Impending Electric Shock, Stone Slash, Talon Coil, and Canine Blast

Kyungsoo’s Zanpakuto is Grim Earth, Shikai is Canine Blast, and Bankai is Mark with Fire

Huang Zitao: Grim Panther, Descend, Quick Charge, Soul Spear, Tornado Whip, Feral Fist Claw, and Torture Souls

Tao’s Zanpakuto is Grim Panther, Shikai is Descend, and Bankai is Feral Fist Claw

Kim Jongin: (previously) Majestic Leviathan, Reckless Rose, Bleed, Frying Stomp of Spiteful Blossom, and Stunning Bee Kick

Now: Swift Winter, Massacre, Screech, Scattering Rain Fall, Singing Jolt of Gravity Mind, and Wicked Beast Push

Kai’s Zanpakuto is now Swift Winter, used to be Majestic Leviathan, Shikai is now Screech, and Scattering Rain Fall

Oh Sehun: Enraged Hurricane, Scream, Start Chaos, Meteor Surge, Fire Raze, Vortex Punch, Simple Meteor Slam, Bear Wave, and Tornado Clap

Sehun’s Zanpakuto is Enraged Hurricane, Shikai is Scream, and Bankai is Start Chaos

Natsume Shimo: Majestic Leviathan, Levitate, Reckless Leviathan Majestic Rose, Spread Fear, Relish in Anger, and Risk All

Natsume is the new wielder of Majestic Leviathan, Shikai is Levitate, and Bankai is Reckless Leviathan Majestic Rose.

Asteria Evarose: Majestic Eagle, Forsake Freedom, Overpower, Blind, Echoing Scream, Butcher, Puncture, Shred to Pieces (Eagle style), Flowing Eagle Chain, and Majestic Day Eagle Hit

Asteria is the wielder of Majestic Eagle, Shikai is Echoing Scream, and Bankai is Flowing Eagle Chain. Asteria is one of my many characters that is from Greece so I had to choose something that’s related to the Greek Myths so I went with an Eagle. I thought about her having Majestic Leviathan but I decided Majestic Eagle would work out in her favor later on.

That was a long list but I have to say I put a lot of thought into this because I love both EXO and Bleach, plus no one has ever done an EXO Soul Reaper Au so I’m going to be the first one to do it. Also, I just feel creative you know. But yeah, if you are not familiar with Bleach, I highly recommend on doing your research or find the show somewhere. Plus most of the members have the power concept in each Zanpakuto, minus Chanyeol, the reason why I didn’t make Chanyeol a Pyromancer is because Akari is a Pyromancer so I basically gave him a Balance elemental. Here is the updated version of this: Update

#bleach anime #exo #ot12 #exo ot12 #zanpakuto #shikai #bankai #attack moves

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circe-poetica · 5 years ago

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12.Every Journey Starts With A Single Step

Every Journey Starts With A Single Step, from the Sacred Rebels Oracle Card deck, by Alana Fairchild, Artwork by Rassouli

Every Journey Starts With A Single Step: “You are on a journey. Yes, it is an internal journey but there is also a physical expression of this journey that is going to become increasingly important to the fulfillment of your destiny in this lifetime. Your journey has started on the inside but its destination will be the physical expression of an internal healing. This journey will draw upon what you have learned and mastered over the course of your life – so much so, that you may feel as though your life experiences have prepared you just for this particular adventure.

You have all that you need within you. This is not a time to worry about what you are going to take with you. From within your heart, you will sense what needs to come along for the ride and what is best left behind you now. You may be surprised at exactly how much can be left behind without you feeling concerned or anxious. You will be able to travel far lighter than you ever imagined possible.

To be best equipped for this journey, you will need a lightness of heart and the realization that change can be an incredible blessing, even if what you are leaving behind is something you found secure, safe, familiar or comforting. Just as the butterfly leaves the chrysalis behind when it is time to spread its newly formed wings, so too are you ready to leave behind what once was and embrace what is more appropriate for you at this time.

There is an element to the journey you are embarking upon that is unknown. Perhaps it is news to you that you are even taking a journey! However, the realization that traveling along a familiar path brings no guarantees, is more likely. This open, unscripted quality to your journey will help you gain the most from your experiences. You see, this journey is a spiritual gift. It is an invitation from the great loving heart of the universe, calling you into something that you would not have otherwise found. You are not supposed to know all the details, nor how it is going to work out, before you set out. You see, this journey is a spiritual gift. It is an invitation from the great loving heart of the universe, calling you into something that you would not have otherwise found. You are not supposed to know all the details, nor how it is going to work out, before you set out. You are just meant to take one step after the other. Again. And again. So that you can receive the gifts that are headed your way.

If you are considering taking a physical trip somewhere, this oracle comes as confirmation that the journey will in some way be a life-changing one and this is good. If the journey you are considering is of a more internal variety – such as exploring a new field of consciousness, beginning a new creative work or traveling into the void of unknown possibilities in order to start your work, – then this oracle is confirmation that it is indeed a wise choice and much new life will come of it.

This oracle brings you particular guidance that the apparently small steps you are taking in an area of your life, important to you right now, are actually far more powerful and constructive than you realize. Sometimes we are gaining ground but the effect is not immediately obvious. This doesn’t mean that nothing is happening. It simply means that the effects of your actions are cumulative and soon they will begin to overflow into the physical world with a positive impact that may surprise you. This oracle brings you the message to keep going. If you have been doing a lot of inner work and are frustrated or concerned that you are not seeing the results translate into the physical world, keep faith, as the physical manifestation of your inner work IS coming. Remember that you have all the resources you need and then some. Your inner and outer journeys are blessed with positive energy and all you need to do is keep going – one step at a time.”

Healing Process: “Say aloud, ‘Of my own free will, I now choose to surrender any fear or doubt about my ability to succeed. I believe in myself. I trust myself. I have faith in the unfolding journeys of my life, both internally and out in the world. Even in the face of the unknown, I know that positive energy surrounds me and I am protected. Through unconditional love, I am supported and assisted to take each step, as needs be, so that my great, creative, life journey can be all that it can be.’

You may like to complete your healing process with a quick dance around the room, feeling joy in your heart and lightness in your step. Just a suggestion!”*

~ By Alana Fairchild

She is completely naked with only her suitcase … the butterflies of transformation escaping to show us that this suitcase is full of hopes and dreams, not old baggage that she has been carrying around. Her nudity signifies total vulnerability and trust, no room for masks here, no room for deception. Her gaze is skyward, and she is surrounded by light, particularly around the head and crown; a symbol of her commitment to receiving and following the Divine Guidance she is receiving from Source. There is a hint of the torus vortex surrounding her, telling us that she is “in the flow” and also that she is at the center of it all, which would indicate that she is calm, centered and balanced despite what may be going on around her.

Everything that you have done to date has culminated in where you are right now in this very moment. This is the tipping point. Another full moon. Another chance to start new. Four months left of this pivotal year. What comes next?

What comes next is what you focus your intention on… right now and moving forward. Change happens; sometimes slowly, one degree at a time; sometimes radically and we are dragged along in the wake of it all. Sometimes we take bold action and charge in to meet it with our head held high. How you wish to create is up to you. What you wish to create is up to you too.

Endings and beginnings and changes and chances and anything is possible here.

Every journey starts with a single step.

Namaste

Dee

~Archangel Oracle

#every journey starts with s single step 12 #sacred rebels oracle #15 january 2020

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sailor-freak · 5 years ago

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Halestorm: ‘Prepare to Enter the Gates of Hale’ Magazine Article

So I found this Kerrang! magazine article on the Halestorm VK community on Halestorm doing a ghost hunt in The Shrieve’s House in Stratford-upon-Avon a few years ago, and it’s very entertaining reading 😂. However considering the size of the image (the photo is actually bigger than this I just edited the 2 pages together) some people might not be able to read it, so I’m gonna write it up below! Enjoy hahahaha.

Ghosts, ghouls, things that go bump in the night... Halestorm love them all. But can they handle ghost-hunting in Britain’s most haunted house? K! finds out how they fare as they...

PREPARE TO ENTER THE GATES OF HALE.

On Halestorm’s latest album, The Strange Case Of... singer Lzzy Hale declared herself a Daughter of Darkness. The album title is a reference to classic horror novella The Strange Case Of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, and the singer claims to have a closet gothic side. “We all love horror movies and dark, intense books” she says. “I like old exploitation movies with lots of gore and no real dialogue”. Tonight we’re putting Lzzy and her band’s capacity for creepiness to the test. We’ve come to Warwickshire’s Falstaff Experience, a scare-fest set in Shrieve’s House, one of Britain’s most haunted houses, where, hopefully, Halestorm will have the scariest night of their lives. We pieced together a timeline from our shaky, tear-stained notes. Brace yourselves, folks, we’re heading into the supernatural...

10:05pm Halestorm roll up to the Shireve’s House in Stratford-upon-Avon, reputedly one of the most haunted buildings in the country.

10:10pm Our guide for the evening is psychic medium Kevin Bowen, ably assisted by two ladies who are both, spookily enough, called Janet. The medium channels spirits to give each band member a ‘reading’. We found out that Lzzy has something of a split personality, that brother Arejay (drums) is a livewire, that Josh Smith (bass) sometimes fails to speak up for himself, and that Joe Hottinger (guitar) has some connection with an old man of military bearing. “Some of that was accurate”, Lzzy says. “I don’t know if he’s psychic or just good at sizing people up”. “I don’t know what mine was supposed to be about”, laments Joe.

11:15pm Kevin leads us up to an attic and seats us around an antique table. It’s darker than the inside of a sealed tomb up here. We’re asked to place our hands on the table and concentrate. “I’ve never done a seance before”, Josh notes, “this should be pretty interesting”. Kevin points out that we’re looking to contact spirits, not ghosts. Ghosts are sort of residual echoes that repeat the same action over and over again. Spirits are sentient and able to interact and communicate. “This has been an education already”, the bassist adds, having clearly learned something tonight.

11:35pm Kevin senses a presence. It is, he says, the spirit of a pickpocket named Lucy, who lived in the 16th century. She was somewhere between eight and eleven years old when she died, but apparently she looks more like a six-year-old with long, blonde, unkempt hair. Unfortunately, none of the band can see her. “Touch me on the shoulder, Lucy”, Arejay invites. He puts some coins on the table to tempt her and Lzzy adds a bunch of jewellery to the pile.

11:37pm An electromagnetic field (EMF) meter is deployed. This has a green light that should turn red if any spirits approach. The band watch it intently. It merely flickers occasionally.

12:00am The clock strikes midnight. The witching hour is upon us, when the boundaries between realities blur and literally anything could happen.

12:01am Nothing happens.

12:03am Nothing continues to happen.

12:21am “Do you feel the table moving?”, asks Kevin. It may be a combination of sensory deprivation and suggestion, but it does feel like there’s a subtle motion. “It’s almost like a wave”, Joe confirms.

12:47am There’s some sort of banging noise downstairs. The Janets take Lzzy off to investigate. When she comes back, she’s in a bit of a tizzy. “I felt something move my hair across my forehead in a really weird way”, she explains. “The girls said they sensed a spirit called John Davies who used to murder and mutilate women. I was sitting there in the dark and it creeped me out a little bit”.

01:10am In an attempt to coax the spirits out of hiding, a Tibetan singing bowl is produced. Apparently they like that sort of thing. Arejay turns out to be a natural at making it sing, and at one point the table appears to shudder and jerk. John the 18th century serial killer is up here with us now, Kevin says. So is a hooded figure with glowing red eyes who looks like a monk but is actually an ‘elemental’ - a spirit that never lived as a person. “I can’t see a thing”, Josh complains. We also try a ghost box, which should allow any passing spirits to manipulate radio signals to communicate. The resulting fragments of words, music and white noise sound freaky but inconclusive.

01:45am “It’s like a fishing trip”, says Kevin, as we finally abandon the seance. “The spirits don’t always appear on cue, and they don’t always perform just because you want them to. If I asked you to get up on the table and dance, would you do it?”. Arejay probably would.

02:10am We now move on to scrying, which means looking for spirits in a medium such as crystals, stone, or glass. Tonight, it involves one person staring into a mirror in dim light, while the others watch from the periphery for any changes in the reflection. This can be a sign of spirits coming through. “Your cheekbones look weirder”, says Lzzy, as her brother stares intently into the glass. “It must be your inner girl coming through”. The session temporarily descends into a spirited rendition of Sweet Transvestite from The Rocky Horror Show.

02:35am It’s time for the Oujia board. The band head back up to the attic and attempt to make contact with Lucy, John or any of the other 40 or so individual spirits that have been identified within the building. The glass resolutely refuses to move.

03:01am Arejay is placed under a vortex. This was popular in Victorian ghost-hunting times and is thought to amplify spiritual activity, and basically consists of a pyramidal structure of metal tubes. It doesn’t really help.

03:30am Kevin splits everyone up. Arejay is left under the vortex. Lzzy is placed at the feet of a taxidermy bear and Joe and Josh are lead further into the pitch black interior of the building. Arejay’s constant stream of verbiage can still be heard from everywhere in the building. “Lucy, touch the light if you like the way I look. What, you think I’m ugly? Tap on the ground. Can you do that? Do you want me to ring the bell some more?”. On and on it goes...

04:15am The nights activities are finally, mercifully, called to a halt. “That was the strangest way I’ve ever spent a Saturday evening”, Lzzy laughs. So did any of you experience anything that convinced you of the supernatural? “I went in with an open mind and came out the same”, says Arejay. “I don’t think any of us will ever know what happens or where we go when we die, but I’ve not seen anything to really convince me tonight”. Yeah, us too, Arejay. Hang on, did anyone else feel something brush past them?

#halestorm #lzzy hale #arejay hale #joe hottinger #josh smith #magazine article

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lovelyjasmari · 5 years ago

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KH OC Week 2019 ~ Day 5

@khoc-week

Due to Kalai’s connection with Organization XIII, she holds affinity to the darkness almost by default. However, if you look deeper into her heart, you’ll find more grey than anything else. True Alixka joins in on Marluxia’s coup but only because she feels (rightfully) that Xemnas is deceiving them about the nature of Nobodies and planning to use them all for a more dubious purpose. True she is vicious and loves a good brawl but only because she is deeply insecure and refuses to let anyone see her vulnerable. But it’s that very insecurity that has created probably Kalai’s most formidable adversary of all.

Kali (known as “The Shadow” or Anti-Kalai within universe) is the shadowy remnant of Kalai’s heartless, she is essentially all of her deep negative emotions taken human form. She was born initially when her heart separated from her body but thrives from her inner darkness and is made stronger through the influence of Master Xehanort when Alixka becomes one of his vessels. The shadow continues to survive even after her second recompletion.

She wears the same clothing Kalai wore before being attacked by the Heartless but darker and slinkier in appearance, her hair is darker and longer and her eyes gold. Normally Kali resides in Kalai’s heart and mind and only appears to her in nightmares but sometimes she will manifest outside of her true form to cause havoc to her and those around her. She also has the ability to shapeshift and will often change into forms that cause distress to her true form. Her rage has already claimed the life of one who has wronged Kalai in the past and it is her influence that pushes her in her more...destructive actions.

She longs for Kalai to embrace her darkness once and for all in order for her to extract further vengeance on the world. But Kalai is well aware of Kali’s presence and despite her inner sorrow and despair, she refuses to let the darkness take her again. For today's prompt, I am sharing an excerpt of the fourth installment of Kalai’s story which focuses on her inner battle with Kali, and her determination to free herself from her dark past with Organization XIII.

~~~

“You’ll have to stay out here and shut down the computer if anything bad happens.” Kalai said. “It’s just a simulation but everything inside feels as real as if it were. I know Isa wouldn’t bring me back here and neither would any of the other apprentices.”

“So that’s why you dragged me from the comfort of my bed at this hour?” Lea asked. “So you could fight yourself?”

“I don’t need to explain my reasoning to you!” She snapped. “Just be prepared to shut down the computer if I need you to!”

Without another word she stepped through the center portal. With the sudden change of scenery came a sharp feeling of sickness as she recalled what this setting meant to her.

She was now outside the Old Mansion in Twilight Town. The same place where she went on her last mission. The same place where Xion has assassinated her under the influence of Saix. But afterwards she was given a second chance at humanity. The data materialized before her but did not move for several moments. Kalai pointed her lance at her.

“You. You represent all of my darkness. My bondage under Xehanort.” She said to the apparition. “You represent my past and all that I’m trying to erase. That horrible shadow that keeps tormenting me, it’s you.”

Alixka did not respond or even blink, as if she could not compute the idea of fighting a foe that was the spitting image of herself save for the clothing.

“What are you waiting for?!” She snapped. “Are you afraid? Raise your weapon and fight me!”

“Beautiful isn’t she?”

Kali appeared beside Alixka, stroking her hair affectionately as she regarded Kalai with a sinister smile.

“I’d say she’s you at your strongest. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“No! Alixka was impulsive and weak. Always picking fights she couldn’t win and getting herself into situations she couldn’t handle!”

“Maiden of Tempests, am I right? Beauty and fury, serenity and…”

“Shut up!”

“But some good did come from it, did it not? As Alixka, you met Marluxia and Larxene.”

The shadow did have a point, loath as Kalai was to admit it. But she kept her lance pointed at the two dark images.

“Kalai.” She went on. “I know you’re afraid of me. Why I haven’t the slightest clue. But I know you understand the power of darkness, and what brings forth your own is not to be taken lightly.”

Kali pulled away from Alixka and approached her true form slowly.

“You felt alone and unloved in the home of your stepfather, you were afraid and unsure as a Nobody and just when you felt like you had found purpose and understanding in that existence, it was torn away from you and you were alone again. But then you were given another chance at humanity, just to have it torn away from you and with it, your love for Marluxia and Larxene. From all of that, your darkness was cultivated. From all of that, I was born.”

Kalai had always made a point of not staring directly into her golden eyes, but now as she spoke, she felt that she could not help but do so. In her eyes she saw herself, she saw the deepest darkest emotions she kept hidden away in the furthest corners of her heart. Hidden away even from herself.

To see all those feelings being revealed to her like this, it was more frightening than she could ever imagine. Kali was her, she was the version of herself she always knew was there. The darkness of her childhood closet comforting her while she cried herself to sleep. The sick rush of adrenaline as she used her volatile limit break to just narrowly escape being swallowed by a Demon Tower, nearly killing herself in the process. Her lust for control as she pressed her lips against those of Xemnas or Xehanort’s. Kali was all of those things.

But she was still darkness, and she was now preventing her from moving forward in her life. The future was not yet decided, who said it had to be darkness? Who said that the light of the future couldn’t now be her destiny?

“Just think of how much more we could accomplish if you’d embrace the darkness.”

“What do you mean ‘we’?” The shadow scoffed at this.

“Fine. Clearly you need more convincing than I thought.” And with that, Kali passed through Alixka, awakening something in the apparition that had before that moment remained still as a statue. Her violet eyes, once blank, flashed with malice as Stormborn appeared in her hand. She giggled before lunging at Kalai. Weapons clashed, she had forgotten just how quick she was as a Nobody.

“I will banish the darkness in me!” She snapped. “Starting with you!”

Alixka only giggled again, a sinister and coquettish sound, as she blocked her attacks. From nowhere a strong gust of wind pushed Kalai back, another thing she had forgotten. She watched as the apparition crossed her arms to summon more wind so she decided to do the same. But the wind cancelled each other out, something Alixka seemed to find quite amusing. She opened her arms and summoned four silver cyclones that Kalai managed to freeze before they struck her. In response she summoned thunder that Alixka blocked before manipulating it back to her direction.

Yeah, thunder was never really my strongest skill. At least not as a human.

Fire worked better but it soon became clear that her magic was no match for her Nobody’s and physical combat would be better, so long as she didn’t transform her spear into a staff. For a time they only slashed at each other before Alixka vanished in a cloud of silver and reappeared behind her. Kalai suppressed a small laugh. Marluxia had taught her that ability. She cast more fire before Alixka pointed her weapon at her and summoned a hailstorm, a shield of wind protected her from it though and she soon found their weapons clashing again. A violent gale pushed Kalai back.

“Looks like our dad taught you well, Alixka.” She grinned, slashing at her once more. The apparition smirked as she created several purple vortexes with her spear that cut through the attacks. Another gale was summoned before Kalai could lunge back at her. Their eyes met for a brief moment.

“He did indeed. But just think of what more I could teach you, Kalai.”

“HUH?!”

Zexion’s apparition had not spoken a word and she had figured that none of the data simulations could since they were just that. Data. So to hear Alixka speak was more than a little alarming. But before she could say anything more she saw as Kali’s form exited from the apparition and leaped towards her. Her sly grin was the last thing Kalai saw before she passed through her body and her surrounding went white again. What had just happened?!

She collapsed, her mind trying to comprehend what had just happened. Kali’s laughter rang in her ears.

I will show you Kalai, I will show you just how powerful your darkness is. You will see for yourself what you are capable of. Mark my words.

“Hey, Princess! You still alive in there?!”

Awoken by Lea’s words, Kalai rushed out of the portal This may not have been the best idea after all, but at least now she understood. The darkness in her heart would not be destroyed so easily. Perhaps it was now time for some intervention from an outside source. These were her thoughts as she and Lea left The Garden of Assemblage for the last time and made their way back to the castle.

~~~

#kh oc week #kingdom hearts oc week #kalai oc #alixka oc #maiden of tempests #banish the darkness #data battles are canon in kalai's story #KH OC #i know my art sucks #so any bad comments will be ignored

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ashenwolfforestvisuals · 6 years ago

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DEEP BREATH… this is an intense channeling coming. Ready to dive deep? Okay here we go.

*SPLASH* Now you’re in the water folks.

>>Getting in touch with your Authenticity and understanding what it actually means . <<

ALSO how do I feel I am authentic in my own life.

There is SO much shadow to the way people use this term. How they project it out there for the purposes of shame, for the purposes of making themselves feel good and enlightened, of making themselves better and right and make others feel wrong. Authenticity like anything in spirituality religion or any other format of consciousness exploration. There will always be shadows and a major one in these communities is the shadow of I’m doing it “right” while you are doing it “wrong”. Authenticity has become the most pronounced way of accessing this shadow in the shadow work community. As much as in other communities they use I am more spiritual than you in the shadow work communities we use I am more authentic than you . I myself.. ventured into states of self hate because of these inaccurate ideas around this word.

How is this shadow used when it comes to authenticity? Well when it Is directed in such a way as this:

”You have to be authentic by being 100% transparent with people at all times. “ Also any other rules on authenticity. Frankly loves. I call bullshit. If there is any sense of you have to… you are creating a pretense of forcing someone into a way of being which could not be farther from the truth when it comes to authenticity. Authenticity is the energy of foremost connection to our inner core energy so any imposition on that core energy from an outside force is a contradiction in terms. People have developed a misconception about authenticity that it is about having to always outwardly express yourself in your authenticity in specific ways that these people have created a belief about authenticity being shown up as. Authenticity can be silence, and it can be a withholding as long as that is in the best interest of your core being and integrity. Authenticity is as much an awareness of self as it is an expression of self. When being authentic with ourselves it must always start from the core energy of our own authenticity, being genuine with ourselves honest with ourselves; so anytime we are choosing to express our authenticity to others in any specific way or demonstrating this self truth outwards into the world. It MUST start with what our core says is true for us and then through discernment we can choose to express ourselves in whatever way feels right and also is in conscious awareness of reducing suffering for others where possible. This could be through overtly expressing ourselves or absolute silence.

What is authenticity ?

Authenticity is a state of honoring your core self and truth in alignment with self love and integrity of your own sense of self. It can be a state of expression or it can simply be a state of self awareness.

How do you become in alignment with your own personal authenticity ?

Get to know your core. Our core self can be accessed through our heart space, it is what we like, what we don’t like, our boundaries, what makes us feel safe, what is in alignment with our own personal sense of integrity . Ask yourself questions to get to know yourself and focus on your emotions; chances are when something feels bad for you to do , it is out of alignment with our own sense of self and what we want for our lives and when we feel good about something whether it be a choice a decision or an action, when we feel good about something it is always in alignment with our genuine self and passions.

We need to remember that authenticity is going to look different for every single person. Also unless we are using a process of taking their best interest as our own we cannot actually ever know when someone is being authentic to themselves or not. Yes we can get a genuine sense of the person on a Psychic level of awareness however unless we are tuning into them with a place of none-judgement, love, understanding and attunement we cannot actually access any intuition about their own personal sense of authenticity. To do so would be out of alignment with our hearts and out of alignment with accurate ability to channel since , any channeling is accessed through the connection to all that is and the interconnection of our zero point to every other zero point in existence, This has to do with what feels good to them so if we are coming at this from any sense of Judgement you can be sure we are not tuning into them as they genuinely are because any Judgement on ‘other’ is based off of the energy of separation and therefore is underlaying opposition . If we understand the process of someone getting to know their core and their authentic self there is nothing more intimate. So understanding someone’s authenticity means we need to be in alignment with seeing into them, by way of understanding them FROM a place of attunement , openness , acceptance and receiving . Understanding someone else’s personal brand of authenticity must be in alignment with taking them as they are not as you want them to be . so many people make Judgment’s on others authenticity based off of judgment, control and what they want that person to be but also what makes them feel safe because of their own childhood trauma.

ALSO if you are ever in a state of Judgment about someone else, it is always about what they mirror back to us and reflect about ourselves and it is always about what we are denying about ourselves so when we make a Judgment about anyone we can always ask ourselves the question , if I were to write a list of whatever bothers me about them, what would I learn about myself, if I say they are loud and obnoxious I may value things like being humble and quite and identify with an aspect of self that would never get into someone’s face because they were taught as a child this would result in shame. Whatever you Judge can actually become your medicine. If I hate loudness and “show offs”; I may need a small dose of self expression to become more of my true self. If you can’t stand someone who is hateful , what is the worst case scenario of this ? Maybe if they are hateful they will cause contrast and suffering for others. How can taking a miniscule dose of contrast and suffering for others be positive for oneself ? Because in our earth plane and experience of individuality you can’t actually avoid causing others to feel a certain way, because it is them feeling that way regardless if your actions are in alignment with source or farther from source. So in this case maybe this hateful person is teaching you to speak up more often and stand up for yourself and others more often at the risk of contrast. If we are honest with ourselves we can always reduce suffering .How do I chose to honor authenticity in my own life When I dress in crazy eccentric clothing, when I listen to music I like no matter what others might think of me, when I am super silly, when I am feeling sad or angry and I can honor that when I awaken to how I actually want to treat my body in terms of the extent I’m willing to go to be healthy because it is in alignment with my integrity . When I express myself to someone, when I say no, when I say yes. When I show up on the internet exactly as I am and chose to share what I want to of myself my teachings my life and my process and when I decide NOT to share certain things because THAT feels right with me. When I decide to take pictures full on make up in the forest posed in ways that makes me feel good about myself. When I snap selfies or videos of me first thing in the morning with no make up or smudged make up, when I take pictures of myself two seconds after breaking down and crying my eyes out .

*When I speak up on things I want to , and teach things I feel in alignment with.

*When I listen to music that makes me feel high vibe as ever while writing this very post.

*When I chose to sit in my office and type up things professionally or when I write a post on my cellphone lying in bed.

*When I chose to do cp on a random rock in the middle of a public attraction place because I needed to be with certain emotions and I was NOT willing to Sacrifice myself .

Being inauthentic is ALWAYS in alignment with SELF sacrifice.

Being authentic is as much about if not MORE SO about what you do not want to share with others, what you do not want to do , what you don’t want to be, the ways you do not want to express yourself because THAT feels right to YOU. Personally. This is why I feel this association with FORCED: Transparency and FORCED expression people have projected onto the idea of authenticity is pure crap. The thing is in most cases being transparent with people will be in alignment with someone’s personal sense of self, however when it comes to transparency and self expression almost 50/50 it will be in alignment to share out into the world as often as it wont be in alignment with your core self and what you desire to share specifically in specific ways. People are on me all the time because they feel that since I am speaking out in public and quite obviously withholding specific parts of my life and energy that I am inauthentic or doing something wrong.(PS. Every single leader is, every single person is no one wants to share every aspect of their life and trauma or even the good stuff on the internet and I can promise you I probably share a lot more about myself than most teachers actually do) However I know whats right for me and leaders have just as much a right to their privacy and what is in alignment with their personal brand of authenticity as anyone else on this planet . Yes I am putting myself in the public eye. This does not mean you own me, I am my own being. I am my own unique vortex of energy and I know within my heart that I always chose to express and be transparent where it feels safe and in alignment with my core self because apart of my honest truth is I love you guys and I want to be here for you to do whatever is in my core mission to end suffering.HOW ARE YOU AUTHENTIC WITH YOURSELF?In your own unique way. Ashen xox

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jhara-ivez · 6 years ago

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Dry wind played with Meran's mane and tried to tear the hood off my head, so I bravely pulled the cloth tighter around my head, covering my nose and mouth to keep the sand out of my airways.

I saw the snow on the peaks of the mountains on the left where the path led up to the Golden Forest, and remembered frozen corpses and angel wings. Thankfully we followed the wide paths through the thicket until once more the ocean of fire spread before us.

The sand shimmered and danced off the dunes in the distance, calling to me like a mother would call her child. Searing heat made the air flutter and shy away, playfully almost. Further east - only more dunes, cacti, more sand, more stone. More warmth. And then, the powder desert. Once more my destination.

The sun burned mercilessly down from above, although it was not even noon. We would still manage to get a bit further before the heat would force us to rest.

So I made Meran step down the dune, slowly, because with every step the loose sand rolled down from above and if we didn't pay attention, we would fall and the masses of sand would bury us. One wrong step was all it took.

But we came down undamaged and trotted for a good two hours, at Merans own pace, through the seemingly inanimate surroundings until old pyrean buildings appeared in front of us. It must have been palaces or temples. Their bronze facades shone in the light of the sun, while the sand had swallowed them up and buried them underneath. You couldn't enter them any more, and maybe that was better.

I sat down in the shade of one of these ruins and was amazed when Meran let himself fall into the sand next to me. The heavy head was bedded on my leg so that I had no other choice but to stroke his long nose. At some point he closed his eyes with relish, I followed his example.

We had two or three hours of rest ahead of us, and I think my stallion was also quite happy about it. His well-being was the most important thing at the moment anyway. If he broke down I was lost. Horses were adapted to the steppe, not the desert. Their thin legs broke more easily in an unexpected fall and they needed more water, so I mixed the amount I had had with goat butter. A very old trick I had learned early on the streets of Ostian. I had to be attentive, keep a close eye on his movements and the suppleness of his skin, and rest when necessary.

Midday in the desert was the worst time, even the wind was afraid of it. You couldn't feel a single breeze anymore. Those who came from a colder country did not understand what that meant - when nothing moved anymore, when everything seemed dead.

It was bizarre.

Nothing was distracting, nothing was irritating, nothing was disturbing. It was a very concentrated experience. A little deadly in the long run perhaps....

The whole environmentfelt so familiar that I almost forgot. But all I needed to do was take a look east towards the sea to remember corpses, black stones, hunted eyes and the extinction of mankind.

I groaned and loosened the shesh, pulled down my hood and shook out my hair. Here in the shade, no sunburn was going to strike me...

Meran immediately sipped the water when I provided it. Afterwards I felt his legs for swellings. Soft sand was exhausting for the tendons.

I caressed Meran's cheeks in circular movements and tried to suppress my environment by concentrating on his breath and the direction of growth of his fur. White hairs formed the blaze that stretched from his forehead to his nostrils, with a vortex right in the middle between his big eyes. Above, mane hair in a colour reminiscent of dried blood that fell like a veil over his red eyelashes. The area around the nostrils was velvety and fine, grey and pink in places where the blood vessels sat close to the skin. His long tactile hair trembled slightly as I touched the corners of the stallion's mouth.

He made a soft, benevolent sound. I leaned my forehead against his.

"Watch out, little brother', I said.

He pointed his ears in my direction.

"It’s the last stone. After that... everything will be alright.”

He blinked and pulled his head up.

Sad. I was able to deceive everyone but him. Even myself.

We went on. Above me pale blue sky.

The wind came back. It was accompanying us, if we wanted it or not. Sometimes it was gentle, sometimes it jumped up on us like a feral animal. We fought our way over rocks and sand hills and finally we went through the dunes over an exposed, old paved way, which probably somebody had built here in the past.

After a while a first small collection of date palms came into sight, then a next one at some distance. Birds in the sky showed me the way out of the open plain. The ground changed. Dry grass and buckthorn plants alternated with gnarled trees until the cry of a bird rang in the beginning of green vegetation. The wind carried sea salt with it.

I deeply inhaled the air enriched with humidity. The date palm fronds contrasted picturesquely with the rust-red rocks. Apricots, almonds and figs grew wild and chaotic, and in between orchids and bromeliads fought for the sunbeams which were not caught by the fanned and serrated leaves of the monstera and philodendrons. A huge blue butterfly settled on my hand. Its thin body with the filament-like feelers tickled a little as it opened and folded the delicate wings. I shook my hand briefly, and then watched it take off again.

We followed a river that ate its dry bed through loamy soil, further towards the sea. Fruit trees and palm trees provided the surroundings with vibrant spots. Insects buzzed around us, mainly mosquitoes and brakes. Big locusts fled with big leaps from Meran's sharp hooves.

A Steppe Crusher pulled through the high grass in front of the building and raised its head when it noticed us. Its horn was still small, barely the size of my palm. But I wouldn't underestimate it. The animal snorted angrily, Meran hesitated briefly but then dared to take a few steps forward again. The thick skinned animal let us approach at about fifteen meters before it disappeared through the thicket...

After a few minutes a building made from light clay appeared in front of us. The abandoned Kasbah.The sea sparkled behind it.

He disappeared.

Water and sand were unstable elements, constantly restless, always and never the same. The wind transformed the water into waves and the dunes into frozen waves of a turbulent sea.

Sea and desert shimmered in a thousand colours at sunrise and sunset. And at night the gigantic starry sky arched over both of them, stretching into a dizzying depth.

Sea and desert were one, but never in one and the same way. Water and sand were soft and caressing, tingling and supple, rough and repellent, stirring and wild.

Movement and constant change. At the same time everything remained the same.

I wanted nothing more than to adapt. The world around me might fall apart, but I would remain the same. Stable. Neutral.

However, my gaze was erratic. I moved between reality and unreality, my thoughts running in a state of eternal lethargy, without beginning, without end.

I messed up. Both times.

The last sound of the birds accompanied us as we trotted along the beach. The reddish sky soon gave way to the endless sea of stars and the constant chirping of the insects in the nearby tangle of plants drowned out the whispering of the waves rolling on the sand.

I'm an idiot. That's all I am now. An idiot.

Meran started to climb up the steep hills like a mountain goat. Stones and rocks were hardly a problem for him.

I, however, felt the weakness crawling back, felt how my fingers began to tingle and a tremble crawling up my back, nesting itself between my shoulder blades.

Sirius would have said that I lost it completely by now. To fall for someone so badly – surely it meant I lost it. But Jespar was gone. He wasn't sitting next to me in the tavern, he wasn't there talking to me when I needed it. He was gone and my body felt so heavy I wasn't sure to ever move again. But I did. Even when small things brought him back to me - only to lose him again a thousand times a day. Each time more painful than the last. There were no words for that thick, black mass that was dripping somewhere in my chest area.

Who would have wanted something fucked up like this?

I wiped my face.

Pathetic.

I took a deep breath of the night air and fought against the pain that pounded dully in my head.

Sand passed by. Darker. Stonier. Desert.

Nothing. No people, no wind, nothing. Around us only treeless, barren stones. Wideness and silence. Unimpeded desolation stretched from one side of the sky to the other.

Rocky corridors, bizarre mountains, quartz crystals and rock walls storming the sky. Dust filled basins. On the flank side everything was black. A black-grey landscape of ruins.

Rejecting. Unapproachable.

I looked around me, turned the stallion on the spot in all directions, but all I saw were grey, torn sand plains. Meran turned his head to me as if he was asking where to go now. I didn't know.

All directions looked the same. Substance, caught somewhere between liquid and solid.

And it was silent. Dead.

Not metaphorically, but extremely real. Desert... It wasn't just the barren, dried out, poorly overgrown land. Desert meant loneliness. It was the home of the dead, the place of wild animals and magic, where life had no meaning.

The pool of blood was burned into my memory. No pulse. Blood, fire, plants and water.

Rage.

…

I was the idiot left to keep on. I was keeping on yet here I was, stilled in place in the middle of the desert on top of a hill amidst darkness and stone with no direction whatsoever. But pain was a reminder. I wasn't asleep. It was alright.

One of the stones began to move, a big dark shadow. I didn't flinch. I froze.

Boneripper ? They came out at night.

No.

My inner restlessness spread out to Meran, whose flanks trembled. Frustrated I stared into darkness. Whatever it was, it snorted. When it took a step forward, sand and pebbles sprang up. Large and massive, it moved closer to us, but did not make any sudden or hectic movements. Slowly I recognized contours.

Horns, a strange shield at the back of its neck...kind of a bony frill, a pointed snout that looked like a beak. It carried its head close to the ground. Herbivore, it shot through my head.

I relaxed. Meran pointed his ears at the strange creature.

For a long time we just stood there. It was when my stallions muscles relaxed completely that I felt a sudden wave of safety flooding my body. It was peaceful. Nothing would try to attack while it was around. It was peaceful because it didn't have to fear.

We were allowed to stay.

I was allowed to stay.

#enderal #jhara #meran #desert #a lot of sand #a lot of stone #a lot of selfhate wrapped in metaphors #my teachers always hated my writing #hopefully not all that badly translated #and i get a feeling i am not good with writing feelings #or feelings in general #or maybe i am just shit at writing #who knows #i dont care

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gmabaj · 6 years ago

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Jeb’ël Skin Regimen

In the photos above, I did my morning regimen. Also wearing Maybelline eyeliner, Media W Eyebrow liner, a bit of lipstick, and absolutely no foundation. No filter either ;) it looks fuzzy bc I screenshot it from a video.

After having taken a small break from IG (to maintain my sanity), IG got a new feature which allows friends and followers to anonymously ask a question to a page/person through their story. I obviously had to try it out. And one of my closest friends asked me what my skin regimen is “cause you’re always glowinggggg” and, like, I had to answer.

I immediately appreciated this question since I do care about my skin. Note that I didn’t say that I care about my skin being clear. If you see my stories and posts, and if you’re fortunate enough to see me in person, you know that I am not perfect. Sometimes my skin is really clear and other days I have cyst like pimples on my temples (like right now) or flaky skin or blackheads on my nose or just huge amaca sized bags under my eyes.

Stress is inevitable as an artist and most especially an anxiety-prone, perfection-driven, growing and glowing artist living in New York City, the eye of the vortex, we commonly know as capitalism. It’s hard not to be stressed when the world is literally melting and burning, all at the same time in different places, affecting us all. The stress is real so there is no doubt that the millions of tiny pores on your body and face will be affected by it all too. After all, your skin is literally alive and it needs to be taken care of and protected from harsh sun rays, pollution, harsh winds, pollution….

I try to be as gentle and patient with my skin as possible. If this week I have major pimples, well, my body knows best. I try my best to trust the processes in my body. If the process this week results in a whitehead gala on my forehead, so be it. I rather be patient then add another layer of makeup or stress because the person I’m going on a date with might be bothered by this pimple. If they are, I’d be bothered by their presence and let. their. trivial-asses. go. Respect, prioritize and learn about the processes of your body.

With that being said, I take care of my skin every day for my own inner peace. It’s less about looking good than it is a regimen to de-stress and de-toxify after a long day. A friend commented on my IG story saying that they used to be “that annoying person whod be like “my skincare routine is splashing water on my face🤷🏽‍♀️”” I used to be that person too; it was during the time when I could play 90+ minutes of futbol without taking a break between halves. A lot of things have changed.

At this point in my life, walking out of the house without anything on, not even sunscreen, is horrifying. I always have 50+ SPF sunscreen on when I leave the house. Even if I’m going out to the deli or to walk my shih tzu-child, I still make sure I have sunscreen on. Trust me, I love my brown skin and getting browner makes me binkey with joy but I will not go down from 50 SPF. I just don’t play with UV rays and skin cancer. Also, as you age, so does your skin. What worked when you were nineteen probably will not work for you (me) who is seven years older.

My type of skin:

Oily t-zone

Sometimes dry cheeks and dry laugh lines

Blackheads on nose and sometimes cheeks

Sometimes whiteheads on forehead

Tiny papules near sideburns

Very rare but sometimes get nodules on cheeks and temples (I go to my dermatologist for help for that)

Does not easily scar

Pretty sensitive (a little extra dirt can make my face irritated)

I’m going to start my skin care regimen by describing what I do at night time. This is the most important and enjoyable aspect of my routine. I low-key look forward to taking all the grime and slime off from that days schedule.

With that being said, my regimen may not work for everybody. If you do end up using a product I use and your skin reacts negatively to it, you should stop using it. Obviously people who have severe acne/skin condition should consult a dermatologist/doctor first. I ain't trying to get sued here.

Also, please keep in mind that I am using all products that can be bought. I do want to move towards more natural ways of taking care of my skin. This is just my process at the moment. Also, if you like more matte looking skin, this won’t be for you, tbh.

FACE WIPES

I recently started using Yes to Tomatoes Detoxifying Charcoal wipes. The wipes are black so its kind of hard to tell if you’ve cleaned anything off. They’re also not soft wipes, they’ve got a bit of texture to them, which I like because I feel like I’m exfoliating a little bit. It’s been a few weeks so far and my skin hasn’t reacted negatively towards it. I use them every night to remove my make up.

FACE WASH

Cetaphil. Usually I get lazy and just move onto toner after the face wipes. Whenever I feel like my skin is a bit flaky I use a bit of Cetaphil and scrub gently with my loofa (which is an exfoliant). That’s all I do for exfoliating. Probably not the best way to go about it. I would probably suggest buying a small loofa for your face, only. But sometimes I’m just like fuck it.

TONER

As I said in my IG story, I used the Clinique Toner 1 for sensitive skin. Yes, it is a little pricey (15 bucks) but that shit works. Toner 1 is for sensitive skin and does not have any alcohol. I use a cotton ball and gently but firmly cleanse my cheeks, in an up and outward movement. Then I move to the temples, forehead, nose, chin, above the lips and, I never, ever forget, my neck, front and back and all around. I typically completely use one large cotton ball to get all the grime out, sometimes two.

NIGHT MOISTURIZERS

Yup. I use Clinique. It’s funny because I wasn’t going to Macys to buy this but dang those saleswomxn. They sold it to me BECAUSE THEY KNEW I’M IN LOVE WITH GLASS SKIN. I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO SAY IT. THEY JUST KNEW.

I must also say that I utterly love South Korean beauty trends. Many of the beauty products/trends that occur here in the US like BB / CC creams, glass skin, etc. were actually created in South Korea and popularized there first. Why do I love their stuff? Because they prioritize taking care of your skin and making it healthy, not just making it appear healthy.

Glass skin or mul-gwang is the type of skin that is smooth, flawless and poreless. Additionally, it has a glowy sheen which makes the skin appear dewy. I love this finish because it prioritizes a skin care regimen that works for you and does not focus on make up.

I honestly love eye makeup. Foundation on the other hand, I tend not to wear as much anymore since I feel like all the foundations I’ve tried clogs my pores. Clogged pores just leads to more acne.

Despite the acne, you can still achieve glass skin. Its all about figuring out what makes your skin react negatively to something and what you can use to moisturize to get that dewy look. When I realized that touching my face caused me to break out, you bet I halted my hands from ever reaching my face.

Also, you don’t need to be light skinned to have glass skin. Pretty damn obvious. Literally any skin color can achieve that dewy look of glass skin, its just about figuring out what products and remedies work for you.

Back to Clinique. I bought the small jar of Moisture surge which came with Clinique All About Eyes cream and Moisture Surge overnight mask—all of which I praise. I take a quarter size amount and dot it on my face and spread it in an upward motion. I also dot the eye cream around my eyes. Lastly, once or twice a week, I place the Overnight mask. You should be left with your face looking pretty dewy. Maybe even to an excess. The key is to not touch your face. Just don’t. Let the product soak into your skin, not your dirty ass hand oil.

I then read a little, pray and fall asleep, without any technology around me to disturb me. Well, that’s on a good day. If I’m hella tired, I would just go straight for Cetaphil and toner. A little bit of Moisture surge and that’s it.

ONCE A WEEK ROUTINE ADD-ONS

So once a week I use:

Yes to Tomatoes Charcoal Paper Mask. Its mainly for acne prone skin but they also have face masks for other qualities like anti-aging, firming, etc (I haven’t tried those yet). Once you place it on your skin it starts to tingle which means that its working to detoxify your skin from impurities! I love me a face mask, especially when I have my de-stressor show playing in the background (I’m basic, I watch Friends. Ugh I know). I typically put on the face mask after I cleansed myself with the face wipe/face wash and toner. I do not remove the juices after I remove the face mask, I pat them into my skin with the backs of my fingers.

Occasionally I do use natural face masks that I make at home. If people wanna read about that, I can write about that in another post.

Also once a week, I use Earth Therapeautics Clari-T Pore Cleansing Strips to get rid of blackheads. It contains tea tree oil which to this day is one of my favorite oils besides Vitamin E oil, castor oil….They are paragon free and contain no mineral oil, no lauryl/laureth sulfate, and no artificial colors. They don’t do animal testing. I bought this at Whole Foods for like six bucks, which isn’t a bad price for 10 of them.

IN THE MORNING…

it’s pretty simple.

I wash my face with water. Sometimes I use the toner, if I feel like I didn’t get it all the night before. Sometimes I use Cetaphil.

Then I use Nivea FROM THE BLUE TIN CAN. NOT PLASTIC. TIN. I remember the huge ass blue tin can, always in the bathroom of my families apartment in downtown Brooklyn back in the 90’s. And if you look at my families skin in family photos, they’re fucking flawless.

MUL-GWANG BEFORE IT WAS MUL-GWANG.

I place a quarter size on my face IN AN UPWARD MOTION and then some sunscreen, usually between a button and dime size. I always put a bit extra on my nose because I have a flat face and my nose sticks out. I don’t want to get sunburned! And just because your skin isn’t red, does not mean its not sunburned. Again, I do not play with UV rays!

I don’t usually wear foundation but when I do, I use Smashbox Camera Ready BB cream. Let your skin and pimples breathe and just be. Don’t try to cover them up, it’ll only make it worse.

For my body, I don’t use lotion anymore. I just rub Vitamin E oil into my skin (thank you Sushana for that tip). Honestly, I haven’t seen my skin this naturally healthy and vibrant. There are a lot of brands in our local hood beauty stores; you just gotta try which one works best for you. So far, my skin has reacted lovely to Cococare.

Eat healthy, lots of veggies. Drink water, lots of water—water is life, after all. Exercise (and make sure to wash your face with water after a good work out. Don’t let the sweat just dry, that will also irritate your face). And if your face gets a little too dewy, I just use Boscia Green Tea Blotting linens, to soak up the extra juicyness around my laughing lines, nose and forehead (thank you Kat for putting me on).

And that’s it :) Jeb’ël* skin!

*beautiful in Kaqchikel

#beauty #beauty care #skin care #skin care regimen #glass skin #artist #self care #self love #Indigenous #Kaqchikel #beautiful #healthy #healthy skin

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mazecraft · 6 years ago

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Rachel in the Dark Room Ep 7

Warning:

Spoilers for Life is Strange and Life is Strange: Before the Storm.

Trigger Warning:

This fanfic will have disturbing images, including scenes of kidnapping, date rape, drug use, violence, sexual content and adult language. Recommended for mature audiences and viewer discretion is advised.

Previously: Upon the revelation of her death, Rachel has found herself in the presence of three women that are strange, exotic, and sometimes a little frightening. The women seem to be the animas of a raven, a doe, and a butterfly. As for Rachel, she is still in the clothes that she was wearing when she died, and she still feels like she has a body, though she doesn’t seem to feel physical needs like sleep, water or food. The three women have been guiding Rachel to understand what happened to her since she died with her consciousness in such a confused and chaotic state. But they have just now finished showing her what has become of some of the people that were a part of her life since her death. In so doing, Rachel has also begun to see energy fields of light around living things. The last thing she saw was some sort of disease in the energy of Nathan Prescott, and the total absence of any light around Mark Jefferson, the men that were responsible for her torture and death…

Raven stood suddenly and wrapped her feathered cloak about her. “You draw her too close to the enemy!” she scolded. She circled the hourglass placed between them with its eerie golden light moving toward Doe and Rachel. She had begun to think of them in her head as “the witches” in homage to Macbeth. But they were otherworldly and strange even beyond anything she could have imagined. Raven’s wild black hair and piercing yellow eyes were wraith-like. But she could see a sphere of light around each of them now that she knew what to look for. Raven’s light was almost white, tinged around the edges with blue. The fibers of light glistened around her and seemed to move with her, or maybe, the fibers are what moved her? Raven pointed at Doe and Butterfly in turn but spoke directly to Rachel. “Do not let the parasite see you. Your attention will draw it to you! It is a predator that devours. It hunts in dreams and moments of shock and vulnerability.”

“I am not a novice, sister,” Doe said politely. “We were cloaked by a reality mirror.” The light around her seemed to flow quickly like fiber optics in a way that Rachel thought looked like mild annoyance or irritation. She looked to Rachel. Somehow Rachel understood the meaning in the look she was getting from Doe. Her big black eyes with rich brown irises full of compassion seemed to be searching Rachel’s face for her reaction to what she had seen so far. Rachel found herself reflecting on the various people that had been part of her life and thought she could see what the witches meant by trajectory now.

“Raven told me that our inner truth is in what we feel, not what we think. I find myself feeling…acceptance? I can’t say I am happy about my parents, or how other people are reacting to my disappearance. But I think I understand it. I only wish that someone would find out about what happened to me so that no one else will get hurt,” Rachel paused. “What did you mean when you said ‘the enemy?’ What is Jefferson, really?”

“Jefferson has allowed himself to become an avatar of darkness,” Doe said. “In a way, he is the willing victim of it. What we call ‘the enemy’ is a parasite that feeds off of light and life. It is an ancient and destructive force. Wherever there is immense pain and grief, a fissure is created in all beings of light that allows lifeforce to seep from them like water from a cracked gourd. The greater the pain, the greater the loss. The parasite uses acolytes of those it has wounded and fed from to go into your world and cause more horror. Jefferson is one such creature. The parasite has latched itself to his mind and become his surrogate thoughts, until Jefferson believes the imposter’s voice is his own.”

“So…how do we stop it?” Rachel asked.

Raven cackled and sat back down next to Rachel and surprisingly, gave her a hug. Her thin arms and talon like fingers felt weightless across Rachel’s shoulders. Doe just looked down at the ground with a sad expression on her face. Butterfly stared at the glowing hourglass with the spiral embossed in the top just in front of her and spoke in her resonant voice. “The parasite is ingrained in the fabric of the universe. As well ask how you stop galaxies from spinning and stars from burning. We call the parasite our enemy, but it is also a necessary evil. It creates the backdrop upon which goodness and love can be set apart. Really, it is only a parasite when it is allowed to run amok unchecked, as has happened many times in your world’s history. Then it becomes a true threat.”

“Dreamers are most at risk from the abuses of the parasite, and will suffer the most,” said Raven matter-of-factly. “And are most at risk of becoming monsters under its tutelage.”

“This is a lot to take in,” said Rachel feeling confused. “But you still haven’t answered my question. Where is Chloe in all of this?” Doe looked up worried and Raven shook her head in warning against the other two. Raven stood up and moved away from the circle, signaling she would have nothing to do with their decision. Butterfly’s lips tightened at the vacillation of her sisters. She stood and floated up into the air transforming into a vibrant blue butterfly and floated toward Rachel floating about her head.

“Enough coddling and dragging of feet,” Butterfly’s voice seemed like it was inside Rachel’s head, reverberating tightly like a swarm of bees inside a tin can. Butterfly landed on Rachel’s forehead and she could feel it moving in a spiral much faster than Doe had gone. Images and emotions flooded Rachel’s mind in a torrent, like standing under a waterfall, causing her to gasp. Her back arched and her arms stiffened behind her as her head tilted up toward the sky. Rachel’s eyes filled with light as the barrage of events swarmed through her.

∞

Chloe stood in the driveway watching her mom and step-douche drive away. Her mother, Joyce, had rushed by her with barely a hello while the step-dildo ordered her to move her truck out of the driveway so they could get his car out of the garage. Joyce had come down the stairs still slipping her pumps on with her purse dragging her arm down at the crook of her elbow, while Chloe was trying to explain that she had printed some missing person posters for the Two Whales Diner. She may as well have been telling her she was going to get knocked up and do cocaine with the principal of Blackwell at the next assembly. Joyce just said “Alright Chloe that’s fine. We’re running late. You need to move your truck out of the driveway and once we’re gone you can go back to sleep if you want.” Joyce had rushed out the door without even looking at the posters Chloe was trying to hand to her. Even her mom didn’t have time or a shit to give about her anymore. Not since her dad died and Max moved away had she felt like she needed her mom more, and never had she felt as blown off by her.

Chloe did go back up to her room and sat on the edge of her bed. She held one of Rachel’s shirts and pulled it up to her face, breathing in the faint scent of jasmine, and a fragrance that was uniquely Rachel. How long until that fragrance would fade completely? Tears welled up in her eyes, and her throat felt tight. She had the sinking feeling that when the fragrance was gone, her chances of ever finding Rachel would be gone too. Where was she? She had streamed a documentary on her computer the other day about sex-trafficking in America and had been horrified at the possibility that Rachel could have been kidnapped by some gangsters and sold into slavery somewhere. Somebody in this shithole knew something and she was not going to give up until she found her.

She reached down to the worn-out hardwood floor and pulled a half-smoked joint out of the ash tray, relighting it. She used her remote to turn on the stereo and started looking through her pictures of Rachel. She had another box with pictures of her Dad and Max, but she refused to put Rachel in that box. Dad was gone forever, and clearly Max was too. Her dad was gone because he was dead and Max had just ghosted on her for the last five years. Rachel wasn’t either of those things. She couldn’t be dead, and she wouldn’t have just left without her. It wasn’t possible because Rach was the only person Chloe really had, and she loved her. Rachel was somewhere out there, Chloe could feel it. And she needed Chloe to find her. If she was certain of nothing else, she was certain of that. Not even a Balrog or Cthulu would stop her. For some reason, the thought felt like a déjà vu.

∞

“‘Don’t miss out on the fun! Join the Vortex Club at the AMBER ALERT Party! Don’t GO MISSING the last party of the school year!’ Thursday, June 13th at the Blackwell Gym!”

Chloe stared at the poster outside the Blackwell Gymnasium with loathing and disgust. The fuckers had put the AMBER ALERT over the Vortex Club logo and added a hand-drawn blue feather along the side. Chloe’s heart hurt and a lump formed in her throat. Her blood boiled with anger and her mind reeled at the absolute fuckery it would take to come up with such a shitty and callous theme for a party! Chloe had already learned firsthand how foul these Blackwell elites were toward the scholarship kids or anyone that didn’t have trust fund parachutes strapped to their backs. But Rachel had been one of their kind, had been someone that they called a friend. Chloe never really understood why Rachel dug being around them. Rachel had never been anything but awesome to them. and now they turned her disappearance into a party! If she could see what they were doing now in her name she would probably burn the whole fucking town down! Chloe wanted to do it for her. The plexiglass covering the bulletin board in front of her cracked as Chloe split her knuckles punching it over and over again. “You motherfuckers!” she sobbed. She didn’t stop punching until her blood was visible in the cracks in front of the poster and her hand was swollen.

∞

A few desperate weeks later, Chloe drove her old beat up truck through the parking lot outside The Mook, a local dive bar that was putting on an all-ages show behind the building. There was a full-on tailgate party going on in the lot, and Chloe could hear one of the opening bands shredding already. Multi-colored lights lit up the back of the building enclosed by a tall wooden fence. The lot was full even after she circled it twice! Chloe ended up parking down the street in an abandoned lot. There were a few other concert goers that had the same idea walking back toward the bar with her. She knew she should have gotten there earlier. Now she was going to have to carry her box of posters the whole way! Damn it! Why can’t The Mook get a bigger parking lot or something! Hoisting the box on to her slender shoulder, Chloe pulled out a cigarette and lit it with one hand, balancing the box with the other, and started walking back toward the venue. Some of the metal kids walking in pace with her looked curiously at her but no one said anything.

It took her about twenty minutes to drop posters on all the windshields in the parking lot and then she carried the box up to the gate at the side of the bar where the underage kids were lined up to get into the show. She showed her ID and let the security guards search her box before letting her wander into the venue. Some band she didn’t know was butchering The Beautiful People on the stage through speakers that distorted everything and sounded like shit. There were merch tables set up along the side of the fence selling shirts and CDs. The second table had a Pisshead banner behind it and their front man Skip Matthews was there selling his shit. Chloe walked up to the table and set her box down on the edge. Skip looked over and his face lit up when he recognized her. He was wearing a loose neon green tank top exposing his tattooed arms, and black ripped up jeans. His face was covered in sweat and his messy mop of hair was matted and sticking to his head. Even his short uneven beard was soaked.

“Chloe!” Skip said coming around the table to give her a hug. He smelled of hard alcohol and sweat, mixed with patchouli. “I’m glad you made it! Did you get to see us play?”

“Fuck I totally missed it man. I just got here! My step-douche had me tied up with another one of his lectures and then parking was hella lame!” Chloe had to yell to be heard over the band.

“Aw man that sucks! We just finished up a few minutes ago. Well I hope you are sticking around for a while. Agalloch is headlining. I’m stoked we got on the same bill with them! Do you want a shirt or a CD? It’s on me, sistah!”

“Hell yes!” Chloe said. “But I need to ask a favor!”

“You want to star in my first music video? You got it!” Skip teased.

“No I…wait…um, that would be cool…” Chloe paused. “But no. I was wondering if I could leave these posters on your merch table?” She handed him one so he could see it. Skip’s face sobered up as he looked at the Missing Person poster and he nodded.

“Fuck, Chloe I’m sorry I didn’t even know about this.” He shook his head sadly. “Seriously, what the fuck man? Its always the good ones!” He pulled the remaining posters out of the box and set them at the front of his table and put the box underneath. “Hey if there is anything else I can do promise to let me know, Ok?”

“You got it Skip!” Chloe said.

∞

Chloe was in a 24 hr copy and print shop. The harsh fluorescent light made her blue hair shine vibrantly under her dark navy beanie. She was sitting on a counter with her boots resting on the plastic chair in front of her. She was wearing ripped up jeans and small black denim jacket. She was looking through her phone at pictures of her and Rachel waiting for her print order to finish. The asswipe clerk with the pockmarked face had charged her almost double because she said she would wait. Well, fuck him. What was he going to do if not work on her order? He probably gets paid to watch porn most nights anyway. One night of actual work wouldn’t kill the bastard.

Rachel probably would have told her to just go home and pick them up in the morning. Well she wasn’t here right now, which is why Chloe was. She stared at the pictures on her phone of Rachel taken last year. Rachel was sitting at Chloe’s desk half-turned to look at the camera, at Chloe. Her chin rested on her fingers curled over the back of the chair. Her hazel eyes giving Chloe a sultry thoughtful look.

“You know if you get your GED you could go to college in LA.” Rachel had said to her. The memory echoed in Rachel’s and Chloe’s minds together. “There have to be dozens of great art schools there. And I think I know someone that would be a fantastic model for your brand.”

Chloe swiped to the next picture. A selfie of her and Rachel in the truck outside the junkyard. That was the day they had driven half way to Newport taking pictures at the beach on Rachel’s phone. Fuck, Chloe wished she had those pictures too. She had given Rachel a piggy-back ride from the beach back to the truck and they had made out with the sound of breaking waves and the occasional car passing on the highway. Chloe’s eyes got heavy as she sat looking at the pictures and reminiscing.

Rachel became aware of herself watching Chloe, which hadn’t happened in the visions she had with the others she had been shown. Before she had just been an observer without any awareness of herself or any thoughts until after the fact. Another difference she saw right away was the light around Chloe was brighter and more vivid than any of the other people she had observed, even under the fluorescent lighting. She watched Chloe dozing and catch herself before scooting down to the chair so she could rest her head on the formica counter. All around Chloe though, Rachel became aware of a darkness that pushed against the light boundary around her. It writhed and teased at the boundary, looking for a place that it could seep in and touch her. She wasn’t sure how but Rachel knew if that darkness ever touched Chloe’s skin she would be lost forever.

Chloe’s breathing was measured and deep and the light aura around her expanded and then returned to normal with every inhale and exhale. In the pause of Chloe’s exhale before she drew breath again the darkness pushed the hardest, a frenzied panicked movement of darkened spikes that tried to break the light barrier. Rachel was glad the light held it back but also felt anxiety watching the battle rage on while Chloe slept completely oblivious. Rachel felt herself moving toward Chloe trying to reach her…somehow. She found that she could look as close as she wanted, seeing Chloe’s face as close as if she were sleeping right next to her. She could see the soft curve of her lips, her closed eyelids slightly smudged by eyeliner, the only makeup she could ever get Chloe to wear consistently. Her blue hair sticking out from under her beanie resting against her temples. But when she tried to touch her face, she felt her hand touch an invisible wall.

Chloe sat up abruptly, her eyes opening. “Rach?” she said looking around quickly. But the shop was empty and quiet. Chloe was so sure she had felt Rachel there with her, like something seen out of the corner of your eye or a word on the tip of the tongue. Fuck, she was tired. It had already been a long day and she just wanted to get high and go to sleep. Fortunately, the pockmarked clerk was emerging from the back room with another box of posters for her. About damn time! She had another long day ahead of her tomorrow. She wondered if it would be weird to have Frank distribute them among his customers? Chloe still owed him a shitload of money, but dude had a heart even if he tried to hide it behind a wall of silence and growls. He knew Rachel so maybe that would make a difference? She decided she would text him in the morning as she drove home.

∞

Chloe parked next to Frank’s RV in the beach parking lot. She found Frank sitting on the other side in a fold out lawn chair under his extended awning drinking a beer. Pompidou laid curled up at his feet. As she rounded the corner she heard an old Morphine song on his stereo competing with the sound of the waves. He saw her approaching and put his hands up as if he were seeing a miracle in a Renaissance painting.

“Well look who it fucking is!” Frank exclaimed. He was wearing a simple t-shirt and filthy worn out jeans. “I was beginning to think you were avoiding me.”

“How could I avoid Frank Bowers in a town this small?” Chloe said. “Half the people I know are buying weed off you, and the other half work for you.” Chloe reached down to pet Pompidou, but the dog growled and looked for Frank’s nod before letting her. Damn, he had the beast trained well! “So, are you gonna offer me a beer or watch me die of thirst over here?”

“Don’t push your luck, Price,” Frank leaned forward and pointed at her. “The only reason my dog isn’t ripping your fucking throat out right now is because I am hoping you have a payment for me.”

“I wish I had any luck left to push, Frank. Listen I know I still owe you, and I am working on it. But I gotta ask you for a favor,” Chloe tried to keep her face from cringing cause she knew he was going to get pissed. He always did but he usually came around eventually. She just had to walk eggshells for a few minutes.

“You’re kidding me,” Frank said standing up. “You’re goddamned right you’re out of luck. I fronted you over three grand months ago which was supposed to come back with interest. I don’t owe you any favors. Shit I’ve done more favors for you than my own family. You owe me, bitch! Now get the fuck out of here and find my money.”

“Frank, you’ll get your money. But what I need to find is Rachel. She’s missing and the pigs are giving up. I know something happened to her.” Chloe pulled out a folded-up poster out of the back of her pocket and handed it to him. He took it and looked at it carefully. All his anger seemed to fade as he concentrated on it, with Rachel’s picture, and descriptions of her tattoos. Chloe was almost about to ask him if he needed help reading it when he finally folded it up and handed it back to her. He wasn’t saying anything and he was quiet. Chloe could never tell if that was a good or a bad thing with him. “The only favor is that you pass these around your other customers and friends…if you have any? Please. I think she’s in trouble, Frank! You know I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t hella important!”

“You’re wasting your time,” Frank’s voice cracked. “She probably got sick of your bullshit and got the fuck out of this hellhole. I know I’m sick of your shit. You need to stop coming to me with your fucking problems and trying to make them mine. I’m not your friend, Chloe! And I don’t want to see you here again unless you have a thick wad of cash in your hand. Now get the fuck out of my sight!” Frank opened up his RV door and followed his dog inside before slamming the door behind him.

Chloe stood there in muted shock for a few moments before stalking back to her truck and pulling the door shut angrily. She couldn’t believe that just happened. Frank was always a dick, but he had never been that mean to her before. After everything they had been through together? Yes, she owed him money but why would he refuse to help her find a missing friend? What was so hard about passing around pieces of paper? He knew Rachel too! Maybe not as well as he knew Chloe, but they had hung out a few times. How could he be so fucking heartless? She started up the truck and revved the engine loudly. “Fuck you, Frank!” she shouted at his RV before peeling out and driving off.

Rachel felt herself crying in anger and grief. Oh Chloe! It was Rachel’s fault that she owed Frank in the first place, and it was her fault that Frank was being an asshole to her, even if she didn’t understand why. Rachel felt the full weight of her mistakes weighing heavily upon her heart. Rachel’s tears seemed to slide down the invisible barrier between them like rain upon a window. Chloe’s feelings of betrayal and frustration as she drove home echoed Rachel’s own feelings as she watched the darkness around Chloe swarm in agitation trying to reach her.

∞

Chloe knew she didn’t belong in this room. The past several hours had been spent way outside of her comfort zone. But it was gonna be hella worth it if she could put up with it a little longer. The posh black leather couch and queen size bed crowded the space and made it even more claustrophobic than the closed blinds and oppressive artwork. Black and white bondage pictures adorned the walls and an overhead projector cast a slideshow of photographs on the wall behind her head. Chloe wasn’t about to crane her neck to stare at boring black and white photos of buildings, close ups of grass, or whatever else Nathan thought looked edgy and artistic. It was a strange turn of events that brought her to this somber room.

The summer had passed with no luck or leads until Skip Matthews had sent her a message telling her a Pisshead fan saw her poster and said he’d seen Rachel at some bar near the waterfront on the southside of town last spring, opposite the train tracks from The Mook. Said he would remember her face anywhere cause she was so hot, and clearly sharking the bastard playing pool with her. Rachel, Chloe thought, what were you getting yourself into? Chloe had gone down there with more posters to see if anyone else would recognize her and the bouncers didn’t even card her. So, she walked right in and put up a few posters near the restrooms and then made her way to the bar. She’d figured she might as well have a few drinks while she was at it since they had let her in. Plus, she could ask the bartender about Rachel.

It was after she turned away from the bar with a bottle of local brew that she had seen Nathan sitting over at a table with a bunch of Vortex Club alumni. He was totally wasted and kept pulling wads of cash out to pay for drinks and tip the cocktail waitress with the plastic smile and booty shorts. All that cash going to waste seemed like such a shame when Chloe could use it to pay off Frank or even better, get the hell out of town once she found Rachel! Luckily Chloe had gotten good at practicing improv games with Rachel and it hadn’t taken long to crash Nathan’s party and convince him to let her take him back to his dorm room at Blackwell.

So here she was, sitting on his couch listening to his crude jokes and deftly avoiding his drunken attempts to seduce her. Her ripped up jeans and black denim jacket felt like armor against the expensive and cold mood of the room. She held her beer in both hands in her lap, with her legs crossed in front of her at the ankles as Nathan showed off his expensive camera and talked about how he was going to be famous like his photography teacher one day. She eyed his coat which he had tossed on the edge of the bed. The rolled-up wad of cash stuck out of his coat pocket and she was just waiting for him to pass out. The way he was stumbling around and slurring, she thought it was only a matter of time now. She hoped so, anyway. She wasn’t sure how much longer she was going to last herself. She’d only had 2 beers at the party and was nursing the one Nathan had given her, but she was feeling woozy and a little nauseous from listening to his crap.

“NO!” Rachel cried out. She moved closer to Chloe and tried to reach her again. She felt herself push up against the invisible wall and slammed her fists against it desperately. Chloe’s light was flickering weakly and the darkness was swarming around her pushing against it every bit as hard as Rachel was clawing at the invisible wall. Distantly she could hear the witches arguing but she couldn’t focus on what they were saying. Somehow, she had to stop this. She couldn’t let Chloe end up in the Dark Room!

Chloe slumped down off the couch, barely feeling herself fall to the floor. Nathan was slurring, but still on his feet and pacing the room. He stood over her and took a picture of her curled up on the floor. “You think I didn’t see the contempt in your face, whore? I grew up staring contempt in the face every day!” Nathan spat at her. He opened a prescription bottle and swallowed a pill with a swig of beer. “I’ll show your punk ass contempt. Do you really think I don’t know who you are, bitch? Your just another skank ho!” Nathan pulled her body over to the space next to his bed and tried a few different poses before deciding on one that he liked. He pulled one of her legs straight and bent the other one at the knee, letting it fall sideways exposing her crotch. He draped her right arm across her face, so that the crook of her elbow rested across the bridge of her nose. He got down on the floor trying to get an angle that maximized the depth of field and highlighted her helplessness.

Rachel was crying and screaming as she punched at the invisible barrier. She could see Chloe’s light was on the brink of collapse. Chloe’s light. She needed to protect her light more than anything. Her scream faded away as an idea crossed her mind. Tears still streaming down her face, Rachel saw her own light spring to life all around her. The fibers of light within the aura around her were vibrant and pulsing with some kind of power. She could still hear the witches arguing and something Raven said caught her attention. “To not touch the world of the living is what it means to die.” Fuck that, thought Rachel. She put her hand up to the barrier and focused on the strands of pulsating light all around her and pushed with her willpower against the barrier, intending that her light reach Chloe.

The barrier changed from feeling like a solid wall to something like a wall of sound. One that she couldn’t hear, but could feel, like an itch in the palm of her hand. Rachel wasn’t sure how, but she matched the vibration of the barrier, becoming the same sound, and slipped through the vibration. It felt like she was moving through water; and was herself water. She felt like she was moving with agonizing slowness as she struggled to extend her filaments of light toward Chloe with an outstretched hand. Nathan was crawling toward her grinning darkly as Rachel’s lines of light touched Chloe’s and…intertwined with them. Chloe’s eyes shot open and Rachel felt Chloe’s energy, so familiar, so warm and full of love! Chloe’s own light suddenly burst to life filling the room brightly in Rachel’s vision sending the darkness into retreat.

Chloe saw Nathan with a look of shock on his face as she scrambled to get away from him. He grabbed at her legs and reached for her jacket and she kicked at him, but kicked his nightstand instead knocking over his bedside lamp in the process. The lamp hit Nathan in the head as it fell and he stopped grabbing her to hold his head, screaming at her and calling her a fucking bitch. She felt so weak, but she was able to stand and grab at the door handle as Nathan got to his feet. But it was too late. She was out the door and running down the hall toward the dormitory exit.

(To be continued…)

#life is strange #life is strange before the storm #rachel amber #chloe price #frank bowers #nathan prescott #pisshead #mysticism #dreams

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