#Also like the Unspoken sadness behind the fact that like

[completeoveranalysis]

[3]

For a moment I thought Doumeki was going to mention that Kohane was worried about Watanuki and asked Doumeki to look after him - but instead he pivots to the thing I had completely forgotten about and mentions the balloon. 

How long ago was the balloon. Forever ago. It was from before Watanuki fell out the window. 

NO WAIT I WILL FIND OUT. PLEASE HOLD.

Balloon appeared in Chapter 50, which I seem to have read in 2017, and Watanuki gives it to Kohane in Chapter 58. So this balloon is seven years old for me. This balloon is the age of a small child. 

I suppose it’s not as extreme if you go by publishing date. Volume 8 was published in Feb 2006 and Volume 14 was Feb 2009. But that’s still three years!

Clamp really playing the long game here as if we would expect anything else at this point. 

[sarawritestories]

Unwavering Presence Chapter 4

Cassian X Archeron Sister (Reader)

Summary: Y/N comes to after being attacked and formerly meets the inner circle. Cassian and Y/N finally begin training, and he shows her around what he calls the heart of the Night Court.

Content Warning: Nightmares, flashbacks to under the mountain, Fluff

Word Count: 4.1

Chapter 3 Masterlist

A/N I want to take this moment to say thank you for all the love and support on this story! I am so grateful for you all! It honestly makes my day with every like and comment and reblog that I see! I hope you enjoy this chapter as we finally get some good Cassian X Reader quality time!

The Naga approached the sound of them slithering close causing me to whimper. One gripped my bound arms tightly from behind me, its dry tongue sliding up the column of my neck. The other gripped my breast tightly eliciting a shriek from the back of my throat. “A delicious treat, brother. Just for us.”

I begged for Rhysand to help, prayed he would make it in time. As the creature in front of me gripped my face puckering my lips as he pressed his to my own. I thrashed against them as hard as I could, but they were stronger than me.

Rhysand’s voice came clear as day but instead of sending help it was just my name.

“Y/N! Y/N!”

“Wake up, Y/N.” My eyes blinked open and violet eyes came into focus. Calloused hands grazed my damp cheeks, wiping away the tears. “It was just a Nightmare, Angel.” I sat up as he released my face and moved toward the edge of the bed. I looked behind him to find the chair Cassian was sitting in the night before empty and I tried to dampen my disappointment that he had left sometime after I had fallen asleep. Rhys looked to me, “Shields up, Y/N.” I jolted him and worked on building that wall around my mind as the High Lord continued, “I sent Cassian off this morning to run some errands for me. He put up a fight about before he left though.” He gave me a smile.

There was a comfort knowing that he stayed with me, but other thoughts whirled in my brain I sighed and rubbed my face, “Rhys, what happens now? Also where are we?”

“You’re in my townhome, this is where I reside normally. You were staying in what we call the House of Wind.” Rhys’ smile fades, “As for what happens next, there are two options we can take due to the fact you’re still human. The first, would be that we can send you back to the human lands and you would be able to be with your sisters.” I bit my lip as he prattled on, “Or option two, you become a member of the Night Court as my human emissary.” He grips my hand, “In my opinion, not that you asked for it, I would hope you would like to pick option 2. I would pay you well and you would be able to see Feyre every month. Not to mention, I like having you around.” I gave him a small smile and his eyes held unspoken emotion. “You remind me of someone I knew long ago, she would have loved you.” A tear slid down his perfect cheek.

I squeeze his hand, and with my free on wipe the tear from his cheek, “She must have been really special, if just mentioning her has this reaction. One day when you’re ready I would love to hear more about her.” I pause, “Especially all the reasonings as to why she would love me.” He laughed a boisterous laugh, and I was happy to take his sadness away.

When he stopped, he asked, “One day huh? Does that mean you would like to stay?”

“Yes, I would like to stay.” My stomach rumbled.

“We can discuss logistics and details on your position after we have gotten food in your stomach.” He rose. “There are clothes in the closet, Mor has already claimed you for the afternoon to go shopping.”

I quirked a brow, “So you knew I would say I wanted to stay?”

“No.” He opened the door and gave a playful smirked, “I was, however, hopeful that you would want to. Get dressed and come down to the stairs I’ll introduce you to everyone, formally.” With that he closed the door. I took a moment to look out at the window and gasped at the beauty of the city I am staring at. The sunrise coated the city in various shades of pink and orange the sun glimmering on the river as soft waves flowed down stream.

I got out of bed and discarded the nightgown I was gifted and put on the Teal sundress that had sheer sleeves and flowed down to my knees. I placed my hair up in a simple bun and walked down the stairs. Laughter erupted and I followed the sound I found a dining room that has almost every seat filled all for one that was in between Mor and Azriel. There was a short female with short black hair and mesmerizing silver eyes that rolled her eyes at the laughter and her eyes met mine. “Well, well, well, appears someone is awake.”

The laughter dies down, and all eyes turn on me and I rub the back of my neck, “Hi.” I whispered. Mor shot up and ran over to where I was and almost tackled as she wrapped me in a bone crushing hug.

“I’m so happy you’re staying with us.”  Mor squeezed causing a squeak to come out of me.

“Mor, let her go you’re going to crush her.” The low timbre of Cassian caused me to meet his gaze and he gave me a smile and a playful wink as Mor released me mumbling the word asshole under her breath. She led me to the seat next to her and I gave Azriel a smile, he simply nodded his head.

“Okay as promised, formal introductions. You know Mor, obviously,” He points to Azriel, “This is Azriel, the Night Court’s Spymaster and our very own shadowsinger,” I looked to Azriel whose shadows swirled around him as if a part of him and he puffed his chest slightly a sense of pride of his High Lord’s words. “The tiny angry looking one over there is my Second in command, Amren.” She doesn’t look phased by how she’s introduced and raises her goblet to me and takes a sip. “Last but certainly not least, the General of the Night Courts armies, Cassian. Though I believe you two have been acquainted.” My head snaps at Rhys’ who gave us both a shit eating grin.

“Sorry, Princess, I may have told them about that night we met.” My eyes met the General’s hazel ones his face had a flush on them as he smiled.

I grabbed a croissant from the platter in front of me and took a bite, and gave him a smile, “That’s alright, General.” I took another bite as two puzzle pieces clicked together and I ask, “Are you still willing to train me?” I avert my gaze and pick at the pastry.

“Any reason why I wouldn’t want to?” He asked, the table has fallen to an uncomfortable silence awaiting my answer.

Flashes of last night whirl through my head, of how I couldn’t even push the Naga away from me. Before I’m able to catch it, a tear falls then another, and sobs unleash until I can’t stop them. I cover my face and let it wrack out of my system. I feel Mor’s hand rubbing my back and can feel a talon on my mental shields of Rhys trying to get me to let him in. Then there is the scraping of the chair, sound of large boots. Mor’s touch vanishes as my chair is gently pulled back. Large hands grip my wrist and give them a light tug as the sobs continue, as I meet Cassian’s face, there was no judgement or pity, if anything there was an underlying rage there. He grips my hands tightly as if to remind me that I’m safe and that nothing would harm me. I look at the table and everyone gazes hold the same sentiment.

“Look at me, Y/N,” Cassian softly ordered, I face him once more and his thumb is rubbing soothing circles and my heartrate spikes. “I promise, I will make sure that you will never feel powerless again. You were ambushed last night; you were wounded and left out to fend for yourself, no one here thinks that you are weak because of it.” He wiped the tears from my face. “Would you like to start today?”

I nodded my head, and he gave me a beautiful grin, “Wonderful, we can get you some training gear and you can meet me outside after we eat. Okay?” I nod again, and he squeezes my hands before letting them go and instantly missed the warmth they provided.  As he stands pushes a free strand of hair from face and tucks it behind my ear, “You know what happened last night wasn’t your fault right?”

I bit my lip, “Maybe if I wasn’t so confrontational with Tamlin.”

“Don’t even finish that sentence, Girl,” Amren spoke for the first time since I entered the room, and everyone stilled. I met her gaze it was as if her irises were swirling with silver liquid, “Tamlin, is a coward and fool. He feeds off feeling superior over the weak.” Her red lips formed a smirk, “You weren’t willing to bend to him and challenged him. He simply used the one thing he had on you. The simple fact that your human. Make no mistake that Tamlin is the worm here.”

I tilted my head at her, and let her words really sink in and I blurted out, “You’re Stunning.” Heat immediately racing up my cheeks. Amren’s eyes widened a fraction as the table filled with laughter at the immediate shift in mood.

Amren smiled and tipped her head to me, “Likewise, girl, I think you’ll fit right in.”

Breakfast went on, and Rhys shared what my duties at Emissary would be, and he provided me with some fighting leathers that hugged every curve of my body. I made my way outside to find that Cassian was stretching, in his usual leathers with those gems on across his body. With the mid-day sun, he looked like one of the old gods long forgotten. He was beautiful, and the way he moved as he practiced made him lethal. His wings twitched, and his spine went rigid. He turned in my direction, “Right on time.”

I walked toward him, feeling disoriented by the heavy boots Rhys had given me. “What are these gemstones? If you don’t mind me asking.”

He smiled and I decided that I would never get tired of him smiling, his whole face lit up when he did the gesture showing genuine happiness there. “They’re called siphons they harness my power to make it easier to control. They are earned during this thing called the Blood Rite, an Illyrian tradition but I won’t bore you with the details about why we do it, or their backwards beliefs of them. Not today anyway.”

“Well, another time, I’ve never heard about Illyrians before. They are not talked about much in the history of the fae we’re taught back in the human lands.” I walk past him to where he was practicing, “I’m also a sucker for a good story.”

“Well, when I can steal you for more than an hour. You can ask me all the questions you would like.”

I crossed my arms, “Why would you have to steal me?”

Cassian quirked a brow, “You have met Mor, correct? She has not shut up about wanting to spend time with you.”

“Hmm. Well, I will need someone to show me around. Where are we exactly? As I know this is Rhys’ town home, but I’ve never seen a city as beautiful as this. Well, I’ve never really ventured far from our small cottage anyway.”

Cassian made a few strides toward me, “We’re in Velaris, the city of Starlight. I personally think it’s the heart of the Night Court.”

“I can’t wait to explore.” I was acutely aware of how close Cassian had gotten, leather and sandalwood infiltrating my nose. “So will you show me around?”

“Sure. Though you’ll break Mor’s heart.” Cassian joked and caused me to smile, “Alright, Archeron,” I turned to him and gone was the playful face is gone. Replaced with the serious gaze of a General. “Let’s get started.”

Cassian had me show him what Rhys had been teaching me and showed me some more stretches before he asked me how I would punch someone. I clenched my fist and Cassian immediately shook his head. “No, Princess, you hit someone like that you’re going to hurt yourself more than your opponent.” He came up and grabbed my hand. He opened my hand he began folding my hand where the tip of my fingers was tightly placed in the base of my palm. He then places my thumb over my index finger. “There, this will protect your fingers and give you the best chance of hurting someone instead of yourself.” He walks behind me and raises both fists and nudges my legs with his own to get me in the perfect stance my heart was racing at the mere touch and proximity of him. “Tomorrow we’ll go over exactly the best stance to throw a punch and keep your balance but standing like this,” He whispered in my ear and chills ran down my warm body. He moves my arm in a punching motion, his other hand on my waist twisting to move with the punch. He does it a few more times and after the fifth time he releases his grip and has me do those movements on my own. I could feel his eyes on me as I kept repeating the motion until he held up his hand. “Very good. I think we’ll call it for the day.”

I nodded and he walked over to hand me some water. “Thanks.” I sipped the water, and he drank some from his own cup. He grabbed my cup and placed it down with his. He pointed to the floor, “On your back, Princess.”

My face heated and I’m sure my cheeks were pink, “Why?”

Cassian smirked, “I’m going to help you stretch, its important to stretch the muscles so you’re not sore tomorrow.” He crossed his arms, “What were you thinking about?”

I huffed and followed his order to lay on my back. “I was thinking about nothing, grow up.”

Cassian knelt his hand rubbing my calf with a smirk, “I’m quite grown up, thank you. I’m over 500 years old.” My eyes widened at the fact as he bent my knee and pushed my leg toward my chest, the muscles stretched, and I bit my lip to suppress a moan.

“That feels divine.” I whisper and I hear a low chuckle as the General moved to the other leg. He met my eyes as he pushed back my leg, and I could not hold the moan this time. I covered my mouth as he placed my leg down and massaged my calves. “I’m so sorry.”

Cassian looked like he wasn’t breathing his eyes holding something like yearning there but shook his head and waved me off, “Don’t worry about it, Princess. It’s a natural reaction,” He pat my legs and rise to his feet. He holds his hand out to me, and I take it he lifts me up with ease and releases my hand. “Good job today, we’ll pick up tomorrow.”

Rhys walked outside and tucked his hands in his pockets, “Mor, sadly had to go do her job and has left for a few days. So, your shopping spree has been put on hold.” Rhys shrugged, “I could take you around, and give you a tour of the city if you would like.”

I looked to Cassian, “If you don’t mind Rhys, could your General take me?” Cassian smiled and draped an arm around my shoulders. “If you don’t mind, Cass.”

“I don’t mind,” Cassian looked at Rhys, “Do you mind if I steal her?”

Rhys smirked, “Not at all. Have fun you two.”

The two of us parted ways to bathe and change. A midnight blue top and matching pants were prepped for me as I came out of the bath, and I placed it the top on used to the slight mid drift. I placed my hair fall in its natural curls and placed it on moon pin in my hair and slipped on a pair of silver slip on shoes. I walked down to the front door to find Cassian, wearing a casual shirt with a leather jacket and pants. His wings were relaxed and tucked close behind him and his hair was in a half up bun.

He looked up as he heard my footsteps coming down the stairs, “Well you clean up nicely,” I teased elbowing him. He smiled and rolled his eyes at me.

 Cassian’s eyes lingered on my outfit and back up to my eyes. “I could say the same about you, Princess.” He opened the door, and the late afternoon breeze tickled my skin, “Ready to go?”

I nod, and he lays a hand on my back and guides me out of the front door. Once he shut the door behind me, we were off. Cassian and I walked the busy streets of Velaris. We went into various shops looking at clothes and different works of art. I stopped when we were at a vendor selling various paintings. My heart sank, Feyre had not painted in months, and I doubt after yesterday she’ll ever want to. I would do anything if it meant that she would want to paint again. If I ever see her. Calloused hands grazed my neck and brought me out of my thoughts, “Where’d you go?”

“I want Feyre to paint again,” I whispered, “She loved to paint after we came out of Under the mountain she just wouldn’t. Now with last night will I be the reason she never paints again?” I cross my arms and I walk past the paintings, “I don’t know if I could live with myself if that were the reason.”

Cassian gripped my elbow, “Y/N, Feyre has her own healing journey to take, her reasons, for doing or not doing something are her own, you don’t need to shoulder responsibility for someone else’s grief.”

I give him a small smile and give his hand a pat, “Thanks Cas, but my job was always to protect her, and I took pride in securing that small ounce of peace she would get when painting. I would sneak money just to make sure she had enough paint.” I kept walking Cassian meeting my stride his wing flared and wrapped slightly around me almost protectively. “I was like that for Nesta and Elain I always made sure anything they wanted books for Nesta or plants for Elaine, tensions were high a majority of the time, I just tried to keep the peace and made sure everyone was happy and safe.”

Cassian was quiet as we approached a bookstore, and I gripped his arm with an excited squeal, “Can we go in here?” Cassian nodded and opened the door for me, and the smell of books and a thin layer of dust fills my nose and i couldn't contain my smile. I walk up and down the aisle, looking at all the stories. Cassian was a silent yet steady presence behind me. There was a portion of the store that had various leather-bound notebooks.”  

“What about you?” I turned to Cassian my brows furrowed. “Feyre has painting, Nesta reading, and Elain had gardening. What did you like to do?”

I bit my lip and shrugged, “Protecting my sisters I guess.” I grazed the top on a journal, “I never really had the time to do anything, if I wasn’t chopping wood, or helping Feyre hunt, or trying to make money. I didn’t have time for hobbies.”

Cassian frowned and guilt washed over me for taking his smile away, “If you did have the time what would you have liked to do.”

I lifted a Journal and flipped through the blank pages, “Don’t laugh.” I looked at him, “I would have loved to write. Even if I didn’t know how to write, I would have loved to tell stories. The kind of heroes and villains and romance things that Nesta would read to me when I was small.” I placed the journal down and shrugged. “Just a silly little dream.” I give him a smile one to hide the lingering sadness. “Enough about that, I’m hungry.” Cassian’s frown deepened clearly seeing my deflection.

“I’ll be out in a minute. Rhys ironically enough wanted me to see if they had a book in stock. “ I nodded my head and walked out of the store. I looked out at the river and quickly walked over and leaned against the railing to stare out at the sea. The sun is beginning to set and enjoy the scenery around me. Soft waves crashed amongst the bridge, and the scent of the water spray filled the air. It was peaceful and serene.

I was entranced by its beauty that I didn’t even hear Cassian approach, his hand on back caused me to jump and turn. “Sorry, didn’t mean to frighten you.”  He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry for being a little jumpy. Did they have the book you needed?” I asked as he offered his arm for me to take, leading us to a little restaurant in an area he called earlier the rainbow.

Cassian shook his head, “No but I did find something else that piqued my interest.” He grabbed out of his pocket the leather-bound journal I was holding in the store and handed it to me, it felt as though the air had been sucked out of my lungs.

“Cassian-“

He interrupted me, “You may find that you have more free time here, you have worked hard to make sure your sisters were able to keep their hobbies. You should be able to explore something that interests you.” He gave you a smile “Plus I know there is one person for sure who would love to read whatever stories you come up with.”

I stopped, tears pooling in my eyes, “Cassian, I can’t repay you for this.”

Cassian also stopped, his hazel eyes warm and shining bright, “It’s a gift, Princess. Nothing to be repaid.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck, “Thank you, Cass.”

He chuckled and wrapped his arm around me. “You’re welcome, now let’s go get something to eat.” He pulled away and looped my arm with his once more and led us to dinner. At dinner he shared some stories of how he and Rhys met and how they met Azriel how they have been friends for centuries and in turn I told him of all the trouble Feyre and I used to get in before we lost our fortune and when it was over we fell into comfortable silence on the walk home.

Music played on the bridge, and it caused me to pause in my tracks. I gripped Cassian’s arms as my mind went back to late nights under the mountain.

Feyre had fallen asleep after sobbing, and I was still in the corner tears stained my face. The feeling of hopelessness taking over. I wish I had told Nesta and Elain how much I loved them before we left. I tucked my head into my knees and sobbed. Beautiful melody flooded my eardrums, something that held hope and happiness. Images flashed against in my mind of a beautiful orchestra on a bridge over river. The night sky was breathtaking as if they were swirling and dancing to the melody of the music. My eyes grew heavy as the melody hit the crescendo. I laid my head back and let the music sweep me into a peaceful slumber.

My breathing was labored, “Hey, hey, hey,” Cassian’s hand cupped my cheek, “what is it?”

“Rhys...he played this music in my head to help me sleep Under the Mountain.” Tears were streaming down my face clutching the journal Cassian bought me, “He was letting me know I wasn’t alone when I was convinced Feyre, and I weren’t coming out alive. He was showing me this band a piece of his home.”

Cassian eyes gleamed silver as well, “He’s annoyingly a good friend like that.” He looked over at the band as I chuckled, “Would you like to stay and listen for a little bit?”

“Please.” I whispered and he lowered his hand from cheek, but I reached out and laced my fingers with his. He tucked his wing around me to block the wind as we stood and listened to the music that kept me from breaking under the mountain.

Chapter 5

Story Tags: @hellodarling1357 @hnyclover @waytoomanyteenagefeels @amara-moonlight @impossibelle @esposadomd @sleepylunarwolf @stressed-reader @kylaisra @marvelouslovely-barnes @magicstrengthandcourage @spideytingley @awkardnerd @donttellthecats @tastydewdrops @vermillionwinter @asweetblueberry2 @bunnyredgirl @homeslices @azriels-mate2 @oksloan3 @wallacewillow0773638 @fandom-crashlanding @writingstreetspirit @hannzoaks @minnieloo @tuggboatfishin @judig92 @atrxidxs @dustyinkpages @secretlyhers @mxblobby @blogforficslol @historygeekqueen

[vilentia]

could you make a daryl dixon x reader where he’s scared to show her his back because of his scars and thinks she’ll be repulsed by him but she’s not and she kisses over every scar and it’s just super fluffy and shit?

if not that okay ❤️

A Kiss for Every Scar

Daryl Dixon x reader

You could feel the tension in the air as you and Daryl sat together in silence. The atmosphere was thick with an unspoken weight that seemed to hang heavily between you. You knew something was wrong, but you couldn't put your finger on it.

It wasn't until Daryl stood up to grab something from his bag that you saw it. The scars on his back, jagged and angry, marred his otherwise smooth skin. You could tell they were old, but they were still fresh enough to stand out starkly against his pale flesh.

You reached out to touch them, but Daryl flinched away from your touch. "Don't," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

You could see the fear in his eyes, the fear that you would be repulsed by the scars on his back. But you weren't. In fact, you found them beautiful in their own way. They were a testament to the strength and resilience of the man you loved.

Without a word, you stood up and gently urged Daryl to sit back down. As you looked at Daryl, you couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness deep in your heart. You had known him for a while now, and you knew he was a man who had been through a lot. His rough exterior was just a shell that he had built to protect himself from the harsh realities of the world around him. But now, as you looked at the scars on his back, you realized that there was so much more to him than what met the eye.

You wanted to know what had happened, what had caused those scars to form. But you knew better than to push him. Daryl was a man who didn't like to talk about his past, and you respected that. Instead, you decided to show him how much you cared in your own way.

As you sat behind Daryl, tracing your lips over each scar on his back, your heart ached with the knowledge of what he must have endured to bear such marks. The scars were jagged and rough against your lips, a testament to the battles he had fought and the hardships he had faced.

You could feel the tension in his body slowly melting away with each kiss, and you knew that this was a moment of trust and vulnerability. Daryl had always been guarded, always keeping his emotions close to his chest. But now, with you, he was letting down his guard and showing you a side of himself that he had kept hidden for so long.

Your own emotions were a mix of sadness and love. Sadness for the pain that Daryl had endured, but also love for the strength and resilience that he had shown. You knew that it must have taken immense courage for him to show you his scars, to let you in on a part of his life that he had kept hidden from everyone else.

As you continued to kiss each scar, you could feel the tension in Daryl's body slowly dissipating. His breathing became more even, and his body started to relax in your embrace. You could tell that he was finally allowing himself to be vulnerable with you, to trust you with his deepest fears and insecurities.

The moment was intimate and raw, filled with unspoken emotions and unexpressed feelings. You could feel the weight of Daryl's past, the weight of his scars, but you also felt the weight of his love for you. It was a love that transcended physical imperfections and scars, a love that saw the beauty in the broken.

You continued to kiss each scar with a tenderness that surprised even you. Each one told a story, and you wanted to know them all. You wanted to know everything about the man you loved.

Finally, you had to stop to tend to the scratches on his back. You tried to ignore the pang of disappointment that came with it, but you couldn't help but feel like you had just scratched the surface of something deeper.

As you finished up, Daryl turned to look at you, his eyes full of emotion. "Thank you," he said again. "I never thought anyone could love me like this."

You smiled at him, hoping to convey all the love you felt in your heart. "I love you, Daryl," you said softly.

For a moment, he just looked at you, his eyes searching yours for something. Then he leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a sweet and tender kiss. It was a moment of pure love and passion, a moment when you both knew that your love was real.

As you pulled away, Daryl reached up to stroke your cheek. "I love you too," he said, his voice husky with emotion. "More than you'll ever know."

You smiled at him, feeling your heart swell with happiness. You knew that there was so much more to discover about Daryl, but for now, you were content to just hold him in your arms and cherish the moment.

As you sat there, wrapped up in each other's embrace, you knew that this was just the beginning of a beautiful journey together. A journey filled with love, trust, and a deeper understanding of the scars that had brought you both to this moment.

[queenshelby]

Forbidden Desire (Part 23)

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Reader (Female/Incestuous)

Warnings: Incest, Smut

Please comment and engage xx 😘

An hour later, when Tommy stepped into the large bedroom he shared with Lizzie, he couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness as he closed the door behind him.

He knew what, deep down inside, he wanted and this wasn't her . Lizzie wasn't the girl he yearned for night after night as he lay in bed, unable to chase away thoughts of you.

But this was the life he had chosen; a life with a woman who would bear him children, provide legitimacy, and bring his status within society up. This was the kind of respectable marriage that would keep his illegal business safe and hidden from plain view while gaining him political power. 

As Tommy crawled beneath the covers, Lizzie sighed, recognizing your scent on his skin , but chose to ignore it for the sake of their carefully crafted illusion of a happy relationship.

After all, Lizzie and Tommy were about to begin the next chapter of their lives together, surrounded by the grandeur that Arrow House had to offer.

It was a life Lizzie couldn't have fathomed if it wasn't for the Shelby family. Coming from a poor upbringing, Lizzie had always dreamed of a life of luxury and prosperity.

She believed that being married to Tommy would shroud her name with power and influence, allowing her to reach heights she had never thought possible. When she accepted his proposal, her heart was full of both excitement and trepidation, knowing that this would be the biggest challenge she would ever face.

The fact that he slept with other women also never bothered him, although she knew that, with you, all of this was different. She hated the fact that he slept with you because she knew that he was, in fact, in love with you.  She could feel the tension between you when you were together during family gatherings and the like, as if an unspoken electricity buzzed in the air. Lizzie would do her best to simply observe without getting involved, trying to figure out exactly what Tommy saw in you that he didn't see in her, but sometimes she lost her temper.

"Why her?" she thus asked, after about twenty minutes of lying there in silence, unable to go back to sleep.

Lizzie's voice, barely above a whisper in the darkness of the room, held a shade of anger that Tommy found familiar. 

"Go to sleep, Lizzie," he simply muttered, his own voice heavy with fatigue.

He sighed deeply and settled back into the softness of the bed, his thoughts drifting back to you.

You were never far from his mind, even when he was laying next to Lizzie at night.

He couldn't quite put his finger on why you elicited such strong emotions within him, but there was no denying them.

The attraction was like a moth to a flame, unquenchable and irresistible in every regard.

It was a spark so fierce and unpredictable that it defied all reason and logic. This attraction was a dangerous obsession that would ultimately implode into an inferno.

But then again, he knew that, come tomorrow, things would change. He was going to marry Lizzie , the woman he chose to become his second wife. He would have to put the memories of you, his niece, aside, as much as it pained him to do so.

In the quiet of his dark bedroom, Tommy lay beside Lizzie's still figure. Her soft snores filled the silence between them, but they provided little comfort to Tommy. His mind was distracted, unable to focus on anything but you; your smile, the feel of your body against his, and your eagerness to please him in every way possible.

He had a love-hate relationship with this, but overall, it heightened his urges to have you.

***

On the morning that followed, the big day of your uncle's wedding had arrived and you really did not want to get out of bed.

Witnessing the union between Lizzie and the man you loved made you feel sick to your stomach.

Nonetheless, you got up and got dressed in velvet green gown that accentuated your physique. 

You pulled your hair back into an elegant chignon, all the while staring at yourself in the mirror as you prepared for the emotional challenges ahead.

Every step toward Arrow House felt heavy with anticipation, regret, and longing.

The grand mansion bustled with wedding guests dressed to the nines, the air thick with perfume and excited chatter. Everyone was ready to head to the church and your uncle Tommy himself looked incredibly handsome in his tailored suit.

The tension was palpable, not just from the anticipation of the wedding ceremony, but also because of the secrets that everyone kept hidden. Secrets that, if exposed, could shake the very foundations of their world.

You made your way through the throngs of guests and slipped out onto the veranda, desperate for a moment of solitude. You leaned against the cold stone balustrade and took a deep breath, feeling the chilliness in your lungs as you gazed down at the rolling hills beyond.

The misty morning dew clung to the grass and hedges of the estate, shimmering in the weak sunlight. Your heart felt heavy as you watched a pair of birds soar effortlessly across the horizon, free and unafraid. What you wouldn't give to have that same freedom in this world full of constraints and burdens.

A gentle hand on your shoulder made you jump, but you collected yourself quickly and turned to face your father, Arthur Shelby. His rugged features were drawn further together with worry, his gray eyes searching yours.

"What's wrong, Love?" Arthur asked hoarsely, the hand on your shoulder a comforting weight as he too gazed out at the peaceful scene below.

The concern in his voice was clear, and you couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt for ruining the excitement for him. 

You shook your head softly, unwilling to burden him with your secrets and this unwanted marriage. After all, he could never find out about the kind of relationship you had with his very own brother.  "Nothing, Father. I just... I wish this day would pass quickly," you managed to answer as casually as possible.

Arthur's gaze became sharper, intuiting that there was something deeply troubling you, but he simply nodded and pulled you closer to him, letting you rest your head on his chest. 

"I know you are sad because of your fiancé's sudden departure but, trust me Love, you can do much better than him, eh?" your father said gently, causing you to chuckle. 

"I know," you simply acknowledged while, the truth was that you had already forgotten about Robert.

He had been but a fleeting distraction from the one overwhelming desire that occupied every thought; it was only Tommy who evoked such strong feelings within you.

With Robert, sex felt, well, ordinary - not worth remembering. But with Tommy, passion erupted in the most inopportune moments, leaving you breathless and overwhelmed by longing.

Sensing your silence, Arthur wrapped his arm around your shoulders and together, you watched as the sun burned through the fog, glistening on the dewy grass below.

"Come on now Love, let's head off. No doubt we are going to be late," he then said, seeing that it was time for you to make your way to the church.

You took a deep breath and allowed Arthur to lead you back inside, where the atmosphere had ramped up another level; guests chattering in excited tones as they gathered their belongings and made their way out.

As you wound your way to the exit and through the crowds of people, you were acutely aware of the fact that, despite your happiness for Tommy's new marriage, there was a bitter emptiness, too. You wished things could be different.

You sighed, taking one last glance around the magnificent main foyer before making your way outside and to one of the many Bentleys that had been arranged to transport all the guests.

When you arrived at the church, your heart leaped into your throat at the sheer number of guests that had turned up to celebrate Tommy and Lizzie's wedding.

You could feel the weight of tradition and obligation bearing down on you as you took your seat next to your father, who gave you a reassuring smile and, soon after that, you saw as Tommy took his place at the alter , looking dashing in his wedding suit.

Your heart ached within your chest as you took him in, and as if sensing your gaze, he looked up. For just a moment, our eyes locked, and in that instant, you saw everything you needed to see; the guilt, the longing, the desire that mirrored your own.

He was deep in thought , staring at you with a mixture of regret and a need so fierce it made your heart race.

The guilt gnawed at you both, but the pull towards one another remained.

You watched as he took a deep breath, composing himself once more before turning back to face forward just as the wedding ceremony began and it was then that a single tear snaked its way down your cheek, the pressure in your heart almost unbearable.

You weren't sad because of Tommy's forthcoming marriage as such, but rather you were distraught because of what your relationship with him represented - a love and desire that went beyond accepted norms, meaning this could never be you. You could never be with him, no matter how much this was what you really wanted. 

"I am sorry, I need some air," you told your father softly, slipping out of the pew as quietly as possible, but Tommy noticed .

His gaze lingered on you as you passed the crowds, the ache in your chest intensifying. You felt like there was a vice around your heart, squeezing tighter and tighter until all you could focus on was the pain.

Outside the church, you attempted to catch your breath but it was no use. All you could see, hear, and feel was him - Tommy Shelby. The man who had taken control of your very being since you realized you wanted him more than anything else in the world.

At the same time, you watched Lizzie, dressed in white, walking past and towards the alter where Tommy waited. She looked breathtakingly beautiful, but that did not stop the bitterness from flooding your mouth.

You knew what was going to happen next and you couldn't bear to watch.  You felt like you were going to be sick and, despite the chilliness of the air, sweat beaded on your brow.

You could hear every word of the ceremony as if it was happening right in your ear - the priest's voice droning on and on until you heard Tommy begin with his vows...

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[nickeverdeen]

So uh, I know this is probably getting annoying by now, but I really feel like reading fluff at the moment, so-

Could I get hurt/comfort headcanons where Ellie (TLOU2) returns and makes up with the air-headed Reader?

Thank you in advance, love your work

Not annoying, don’t worry!

————————————————————

Ellie Williams x Air-head reader part 3

Three years had passed since Ellie left, leaving a void in your life that you tried to fill with routine, but the ache of her absence never truly faded

Every day, you checked the logbook at the gates of Jackson, hoping against hope to see her name

Each day it wasn’t there, and each day it hurt a little more

You buried yourself in work, trying to distract yourself from the lingering pain

Yet, despite the distractions, your thoughts often wandered back to Ellie

Jackson noticed the change in you

You still had that air-headed, carefree demeanor, but now there was a sadness that lingered beneath the surface, a shadow that never quite left your eyes

One day, while routinely scanning the logbook, your heart skipped a beat. Ellie’s name was there, freshly inked. She was back

Shock, anger, and a pang of longing washed over you

After all this time, she had returned, but you weren’t sure how to feel about it

Instead of running to her, you kept your distance

The fear of reopening old wounds kept you from seeking her out immediately

But in a town as small as Jackson, it was inevitable that your paths would cross. It happened in the market, where you were picking up supplies, and suddenly, there she was—standing a few feet away

Your eyes locked, and for a moment, the world seemed to stop

She looked older, more worn, with eyes that carried the weight of everything she had been through and two of her fingers are missing

You felt your heart ache, but also anger simmering beneath the surface

She had choosed her revenge over your companionship

Ellie stood there, visibly struggling with her emotions, before finally offering a small, hesitant greeting, one that carried the weight of all that had happened

You stared at her, anger bubbling up

How could she just show up like this, after all this time, and expect things to be okay?

She apologized, her voice soft and filled with regret

You could see the guilt in her eyes, but it wasn’t enough to wash away the pain she’d caused

Your mind raced back to the moment you had parted ways, the argument still fresh in your memory

You had begged her to stay, to come back with you to Jackson, but she had chosen her path—leaving you behind

Ellie admitted she had been lost, chasing after something that ultimately only brought more pain

But that didn’t change the fact that she had hurt you

You couldn’t just forgive her

The wounds were too deep, the scars still fresh

It wasn’t that simple

She didn’t push, sensing your hesitation

Instead, she simply asked for a chance to try and make things right, to prove that she was sorry

You were torn

A part of you wanted to let her in, to try and mend the rift between you, but the pain she had caused was still too raw

You agreed to talk, but only because you needed closure

You led her to a quiet spot by the watchtower

Sitting there, the memories flooded back, and you felt the weight of everything you had been through together

The silence between you was heavy, charged with unspoken words

Ellie quietly sat beside you, keeping a respectful distance, waiting for you to make the first move

The air between you was thick with unresolved emotions

You finally spoke, asking if she regretted leaving

It was a question that had haunted you for years, one that you needed an answer to

Ellie’s eyes were distant as she nodded, acknowledging the mistake she had made

She didn’t need to say the words; you could see the regret etched on her face

You both sat in silence, the weight of her regret hanging in the air

It wasn’t enough to erase the pain, but it was a start

Ellie began helping around Jackson, doing her best to prove herself to you and the community

She took on difficult jobs, showing that she was serious about making amends

You watched her from a distance, unsure if you could trust her again

The pain of her abandonment still lingered, even as you saw the changes in her

Ellie didn’t push you to forgive her, but she made her presence known

She started with small gestures—bringing you things she knew you liked, leaving a flower on your doorstep

Your heart began to soften, despite your attempts to keep the walls up

The small acts of kindness were a reminder of the Ellie you once knew, the one you had missed so dearly

But you weren’t ready to forgive her yet

The hurt ran too deep, and you couldn’t let go of it that easily

One evening, you found yourself sitting by the watchtower again, the memories of your last confrontation with Ellie replaying in your mind

She found you there, sitting quietly a few feet away

The silence between you was charged, but this time, it was less tense

There was a tentative understanding, a fragile truce

Ellie hesitated, then moved a little closer, her presence a quiet comfort

She didn’t say anything, simply letting you know she was there if you wanted to talk

You didn’t speak for a long time, the two of you sitting in silence

It was both comforting and painful, the memories of your past friendship lingering in the air

Finally, you asked her why she had come back

It wasn’t an easy question, but you needed to know if she was here for the right reasons

Ellie didn’t have a simple answer, but you could see in her eyes that she was sincere

She had come back because she needed to, because she couldn’t stay away any longer

You felt the anger begin to dissipate, replaced by a deep sadness

You had both been through so much, and neither of you had come out unscathed

Ellie reached out to you, her hand trembling slightly as she touched yours

The contact was both familiar and foreign, a reminder of what you had lost

You allowed her to hold your hand, though you kept your guard up

The days that followed were a slow, cautious dance around each other

You couldn’t help but notice the way she had changed

The weight of her experiences had altered her, made her more serious, more thoughtful

She was still Ellie, but she was also someone new

As the days turned into weeks, you found yourself seeking her out more often

Ellie never took your tentative steps toward reconciliation for granted

One evening, you finally opened up to her, telling her how much her leaving had hurt you, how you had struggled to let her go

Ellie listened, her heart breaking as you recounted the pain she had caused

She knew she couldn’t undo the past, but she was determined to make things right in the present

The more you talked, the more the anger began to fade, replaced by a deep sadness

You had both lost so much, but maybe, just maybe, you could find a way back to each other

Ellie started to help you with your daily tasks, not saying much but always being there

You began to realize that Ellie was genuinely trying to make amends, that she was doing everything in her power to show you that she was sorry

There were still moments of tension between you, times when the past would resurface, and the pain would feel fresh again

But those moments grew fewer as time passed

Ellie’s persistence paid off, as you found yourself slowly letting your guard down

The walls you had built to protect yourself began to crumble

You started to spend more time together, falling back into old routines—going on patrols, cooking meals, even just sitting in silence

Ellie never pushed you to forgive her, but you could see the hope in her eyes every time you took a step closer to her

As weeks turned into months, you found yourself laughing with her again, sharing moments of quiet companionship that felt like they belonged to another life

The first time you initiated a conversation about the future, Ellie was taken aback

It was the first sign that maybe, just maybe, you were ready to move forward

Ellie promised to stay by your side, to rebuild the trust she had broken

You still had moments of doubt, times when the hurt would resurface and you’d pull back

Gradually, you began to forgive her, though it wasn’t a conscious decision

Ellie noticed the shift in you, the way you started to seek her out more often, the way you allowed yourself to relax around her

You began to trust her again, though it was a fragile trust, one that would take time to fully rebuild

But it was a start

The day you finally told her that you forgave her, it wasn’t a grand moment

It was quiet, almost understated, but it meant everything to both of you

Ellie didn’t say anything in response, simply pulling you into a tight hug, her relief palpable

You could feel her trembling, the weight of your forgiveness finally lifting from her shoulders

In that moment, you realized how much you had both been carrying, how the burden of the past had weighed you down

But now, you were both ready to let it go

The road ahead wasn’t going to be easy, but you were willing to walk it together

You had lost each other once, but you weren’t going to let it happen again

You started to rebuild your friendship, piece by piece, finding comfort in the small things—shared meals, quiet conversations, and the simple act of being together

Ellie’s presence in your life became a source of strength, a reminder that no matter how much you had both been through, you could still find a way forward

As the days passed, the tension between you continued to ease, replaced by a growing sense of peace

The past was still there, but it no longer defined you

You found yourself opening up to her more and more, sharing your thoughts and feelings, even the ones you had buried deep inside

Ellie listened without judgment, her presence a constant source of support

The first time you held her hand again, it was a quiet, almost hesitant gesture, but it felt right

It was a small step, but it meant everything

You both knew that the scars of the past would never fully fade, but you were willing to live with them, to let them remind you of how far you had come

Ellie started to show you more of herself, the side of her that she had kept hidden for so long

She was vulnerable with you, opening up about her own pain and regrets

You listened, offering her the same support she had given you

It was a mutual understanding, a bond that had been reforged in the fires of your shared experiences

As the months turned into a year, you found that you had reached a new level of understanding with Ellie

You began to make new memories together, ones that weren’t tainted by the past

Ellie never took your forgiveness for granted, always making sure to show you how much she appreciated your willingness to let her back into your life

You had been through the worst, and you had come out the other side stronger

The first time you laughed together again, really laughed, it was like a weight had been lifted

The tension that had been there for so long was finally gone

Ellie’s smile was genuine, the first time you had seen it in years

It was a small victory, but it felt monumental

You found yourself falling back into old habits, but this time, there was a new sense of understanding between you

Ellie teached you to play her guitar as she herself couldn’t

You would sit together in comfortable silence, the music washing over you, bringing a sense of peace that had been missing for so long

The first time you stayed with her overnight again, it was a quiet, unspoken decision

You simply fell asleep next to her, the comfort of her presence enough to keep the nightmares at bay

Ellie held you close, her arms wrapped around you as if she was afraid to let go

You woke up the next morning with a sense of calm, the first time in years that you felt truly at peace

Ellie was still there, holding you as if nothing had changed

As the days passed, you began to feel like yourself again, the person you had been before everything fell apart

Ellie noticed the change in you, the way you had finally let go of the past

She felt a huge relief knowing she got a second chance

[reaper2187]

Lady lesso x never female reader

Lady Lesso stood at the edge of the School for Evil’s grand balcony, the moon casting an ethereal glow over the twisted towers and jagged spires that marked her domain. She found solace in the stillness of the night, away from the chaos of her students' schemes and betrayals. Her thoughts, however, were never truly at rest, especially now with a new presence in her life—Y/N, her right-hand confidante, and the one person who seemed to understand the complexities of her soul.

Y/N had arrived at the School for Evil under unusual circumstances. She was neither a witch nor a villain by nature. In fact, she wasn’t even a Never. Yet, she fit seamlessly into the dark, foreboding world of Lady Lesso. It had taken Lesso some time to understand the enigma that was Y/N, but over time, an unspoken bond formed between them, one that transcended the usual relationships within the school.

As Lady Lesso stood lost in her thoughts, she felt a presence behind her. She didn’t need to turn around to know it was Y/N. There was a certain quiet elegance to her movements that Lesso had come to recognize instantly.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Y/N’s voice was soft, almost tender, a stark contrast to the harshness that surrounded them.

Lesso turned to face her, the moonlight illuminating Y/N’s features. “It seems the chaos of the day refuses to leave my mind,” she replied, her voice tinged with a rare hint of vulnerability.

Y/N stepped closer, her gaze unwavering. “You carry too much on your shoulders, Leonora. Even the most formidable need someone to share the burden.”

Lesso raised an eyebrow at the use of her first name. It was a liberty only Y/N could take without facing her wrath. “And you, Y/N, what burdens do you carry? You hide them well.”

Y/N smiled, a sad, knowing smile. “Perhaps I do. But tonight isn’t about me. It’s about you.”

For a moment, Lesso allowed herself to be just Leonora, the woman behind the feared Dean of Evil. She sighed and looked out over the darkened landscape. “Do you ever wonder what it would be like to be free of all this?” she asked, gesturing to the school, the towers, and the endless responsibilities.

Y/N nodded. “Every day. But then I remember that freedom comes in different forms. For me, it’s in the little moments of joy, the stolen glances, and the quiet conversations.”

Lesso’s heart skipped a beat. She knew what Y/N was alluding to, and it scared her as much as it thrilled her. The unspoken feelings between them had grown stronger with each passing day, and now, standing under the moonlight, the weight of those feelings was almost unbearable.

“Y/N,” Lesso began, her voice barely above a whisper, “what is it that you see in me? Why do you stay?”

Y/N took a deep breath, choosing her words carefully. “I see a woman who is strong and fierce, but also vulnerable and kind. I stay because, in this dark world, you are my light. You are the reason I can endure the darkness.”

Lesso’s eyes met Y/N’s, and for the first time in a long time, she allowed herself to be truly seen. She reached out, her hand trembling slightly, and Y/N took it, their fingers intertwining.

“Leonora,” Y/N said softly, “you don’t have to be alone anymore.”

In that moment, Lady Lesso realized that the connection she had with Y/N was not just a fleeting feeling. It was something deeper, something that had the power to change her life. She pulled Y/N closer, their foreheads touching, and for the first time, allowed herself to imagine a future where she wasn’t defined by her role as the Dean of Evil, but by the love she felt for this remarkable woman.

Time seemed to stand still as they stood there, wrapped in each other’s embrace. The moonlight bathed them in a silvery glow, casting long shadows that intertwined like their fates. In the silence, a new promise was forged—a promise of companionship, of understanding, and of love.

As the first light of dawn began to break, Lesso knew that their path wouldn’t be easy. The School for Evil was not a place that welcomed love, especially not for its formidable dean. But with Y/N by her side, she felt a newfound strength, a resilience that she hadn’t known she possessed.

“Whatever comes,” Y/N whispered, “we’ll face it together.”

Lesso nodded, her heart swelling with a mix of fear and hope. “Together,” she echoed, knowing that with Y/N, she could face anything.

And so, as the sun rose over the School for Evil, Lady Lesso and Y/N stood hand in hand, ready to face the challenges ahead. Their journey was just beginning, and though the road would be fraught with danger and uncertainty, they knew that they had found something precious in each other—a love that could withstand even the darkest of nights.

In the days that followed, their bond grew stronger. They learned to navigate the complexities of their relationship while maintaining their roles within the school. There were moments of doubt, of fear, but also of unparalleled joy and connection. And through it all, they held onto each other, knowing that their love was their greatest strength.

Lady Lesso, once the solitary and feared dean, found herself transforming in ways she hadn’t thought possible. With Y/N’s unwavering support, she began to see the world not just through the lens of power and control, but through the softer, more compassionate perspective that Y/N brought into her life.

In return, Y/N found her place in a world that had once seemed so foreign and hostile. With Lesso, she discovered her own strength and resilience, and together, they created a sanctuary amidst the chaos—a place where love and trust could flourish, even in the heart of darkness.

Their love story became a whispered legend within the halls of the School for Evil, a testament to the power of love and the possibility of redemption. And though the path they walked was often shrouded in shadows, they faced it side by side, their hearts forever entwined.

[i-heart-hxh]

During the shinju scene,meleoron mentions theres something killua cant tell him, what is it that killua couldnt tell him?

from what i seen,shinjuu isnt always romantic,was it he couldnt tell meleoron he was going to die w gon because of his romantic feelings

The line

meleoron:‘if you joking,whyd u have that incredibly sad look on ur face(talking about when he was observing killua with gon)’ ‘you cant tell me,so i wont ask’ or in different translations its ‘cant you tell me?’ But in the original japanese its about being unable to tell somebody something

Hello!

So, I decided to just post (most of) these two pages because I think seeing the art and layout of the actual pages helps with understanding exactly what's going on and also analyzing it. I also went and looked at the pages in Japanese just to see if anything stood out. Aside from the famous shinjuu line, the translation seems fine.

Just to summarize and be clear before I launch into further analysis: In this scene, Killua says (with a rather dark expression) that the worst case scenario is he and Gon die together in a lovers suicide. Killua sees that Meleoron is rather vexed/taken aback/discouraged by this response and doesn't know what to say, so then Killua immediately claims he's just kidding and that they'll be okay after all, and he knows how to snap Gon out of it.

Meleoron then internally doubts that Killua is kidding about this, because he was there when Gon said the "It has nothing to do with you," (essentially) line that pushed Killua away, and he saw how heartbroken Killua looked by that. He then decides it's not worth asking because Killua clearly doesn't want to be honest about his feelings, he can't or won't express what he's going through, so he backs off.

I'm glad you brought this up because it's a piece of the whole shinjuu scene that people don't talk about as much, but this whole exchange and Togashi bothering to show Meleoron's reaction to it in the first place says a lot about the importance of the scene. If Meleoron didn't pause and connect this to Killua's earlier heartbroken moment (and notice how it takes up literally half of the page--it's important!), it would be easy to read on past it without thinking about it more deeply.

In other words, this further exchange with Meleoron is emphasis. It's there so the readers don't simply gloss over what Killua said about the shinjuu, and so the readers understand that he means it, that no matter what he says to the contrary, Killua is in fact serious about this possibility. It's there to slow things down enough so the readers can reflect on and ask their own questions about the situation.

I'm sure this is why Togashi bothered to put Meleoron in the scene with Gon pushing Killua away in the first place--there was no other reason for him to be there, other than being an observer of this moment and standing in to ask these questions.

Meleoron--an outside observer without as much context for Gon and Killua's relationship as the rest of us--wonders what's going on here, why Killua looked utterly destroyed by a few simple words. But because he saw Killua's immediate urge to lie and say it's a joke when he hesitated, he knows Killua won't open up to him about exactly what's going on, why Killua was so devastated by what Gon said to him and why Killua intends to do a teen lovers suicide with his best friend if all goes badly. Meleoron is definitely pointing out (in his view, anyway) that there are feelings behind this that Killua is unable and unwilling to talk about. Is he implying they're romantic feelings? I mean...

This happens so much in Chimera Ant arc around Killua's feelings. Togashi leaves it open-ended, doesn't spell it out blatantly, but it seems like the question is being asked over and over again--what exactly are the nature of Killua's feelings for Gon, anyway? And there keep being these moments where the concept of romantic love is conjured in some form in connection with or around this unspoken question being asked, like multiple instances in the Palm subplot I've talked about a bunch of times now. (Linking to that post in particular because it links to a lot of other Palm subplot related posts.)

Even the way Killua asks if Gon considers him a friend or a comrade, asking What are we? basically is essentially a shoujo trope--and especially how it was presented, very dramatic with a lot of focus and emphasis on Killua's internal turmoil around asking the question.

There are just so many times in this arc where emphasis gets placed on a question of, What are your feelings for Gon anyway, Killua? in an indirect way, including this moment with Meleoron. It's repeated so many times and there are so many instances where there's some subtext around or even direct mention of romantic love hovering around these questions, it's basically daring the audience to answer.

It's true that shinjuu can be non-romantic in some cases, however the word choice is meaningful. Togashi knows what the implications of it are, especially in a literary sense. He could have chosen other ways to phrase this, he could have opted not to use this word in particular. If it was presented completely in isolation from any other romantic subtext, there would be more of an argument to be had for it just being included in a platonic sense, but with how much repeated romantic subtext there is with Gon and Killua's relationship to begin with...I think the word choice is very intentional.

I hope that answers your question!

[supernovafics]

𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐄

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 4.8k words

summary: in which the vecna events hurt you a lot more than you would allow yourself to admit to anyone. you lost your best friend, someone who was quite possibly your only true friend, and you just felt empty inside because of it. you somehow find solace in steve harrington and an unspoken bond forms between you two. you and him barely talk, though; talking is probably the last thing you do with one another. but, maybe, you should.

warnings: post season four, mentions of eddie, mentions of stancy, reader grieving eddie’s death, soft!steve, some fluff, SO MUCH angst, explicit language, smut (minors dni!), overall a lot of sadness but with a happy/hopeful ending

author’s note: this idea randomly came to me and i immediately stopped everything else i was working on to run with this lmao hope y’all enjoy!<333

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

It was because you almost died. 

That was what you kept telling yourself.

It was the life-and-death situations that you had found yourself in that past month that led you into Steve’s bed almost every night. And it was also the fact that he’d experienced those fucked up moments with you.

You and Steve weren’t friends. Even after what happened a little over a month ago, you rarely ever talked to each other during the normal hours that most people talked to one another. In fact, you found yourself actively avoiding him during the day. 

But, when night rolled around and you were feeling way too restless and insanely sad, you would call him and he would always answer because somehow he was always awake too. 

When you pulled into his driveway on this specific night, you didn’t hesitate to head to his front door and give it three quick knocks. He usually would leave the door unlocked for you after you told him you were on your way, but you still liked to knock. 

For some reason, the thought of letting yourself into his house made things feel a little too personal and intimate; even though you and him were doing perhaps the most intimate thing two people could do with one another. 

When Steve opened the door, he gave you a small smile. “Hi.” 

“Hi,” You responded softly before walking inside. 

You took notice of his attire which was typical, basketball shorts and a simple t-shirt, but his hair was much more disheveled than usual. It made you silently wonder if this time you actually had woken him up when you called. 

You peeled off your jacket and toed off your shoes, leaving them both by the front door. 

You followed him up to his room and quickly found comfort atop his bed as he closed and locked the door behind you both. Your legs dangled off the edge of the bed and you looked up at the ceiling. 

“Were you actually asleep when I called this time?”

“Maybe a little bit.” 

You propped yourself up by your elbows and looked at him. “You can tell me to fuck off sometimes, you know that right?” 

He ran a hand through his hair, which let you know that he was at least a little bit nervous and there was also a lot going through his head right then. You wish you didn’t know that about him, but it was hard not to notice little things like that with all of the nights you’d been spending together. 

“I could never tell you to fuck off,” He ultimately responded. 

Why? 

That was what you wanted to ask him, but you couldn’t let the word fall from your lips. Because you were scared about what emotional shit would be attached to his answer. You were scared that it just might finally break you open. 

Ever since everything went down you felt numb from it all and, for the most part, you were okay with that. You liked not feeling anything because it meant that you couldn’t truly grasp the pain and grief you were experiencing. 

By no means was it healthy, you knew that, but it still somehow made things a little better. 

However, there was still a part of you that longed for something, anything, that resembled the opposite of the emptiness you were feeling. 

And that was where Steve would come in. 

He’d give you something that would momentarily fill that void while simultaneously making you forget all of the shit going through your head. 

And you’d give him the same thing. Make him forget about the girl he was in love with who was perfectly happy with someone else. 

The two of you needed each other. You would never say it aloud, but it was the truth, and you couldn’t let a question of “why?” potentially ruin that right then. 

So, instead, you stood up and slipped off the sweatpants you were wearing and then pulled off the ratty old band t-shirt that had been Eddie’s. You hadn’t been wearing a bra under the shirt so you were standing in front of Steve in only your black underwear. His eyes slowly traveled up your body as he walked closer to you and a hand found your bare waist. 

When this all started weeks ago, it slightly surprised you how you never felt nervous or awkward under Steve’s gaze. Somehow you always felt comfortable, maybe even a little safe. 

You leaned into his soft touch and tilted your head up so that you could meet his lips. When your mouth met his, your mind effectively turned off and the next few moments felt like they were being lived by a different version of you. The version that was normal and not so painstakingly affected by grief and sadness. 

Steve guided you back onto the bed, his lips not detaching from yours once, so that your back was flush against the comforter. 

Soft words fell from his lips that you couldn’t decipher because you were so lost in your own pleasure. 

You felt him almost everywhere. Lips against your neck and trailing down your body, hands squeezing your breast and teasing you through your soaking underwear. 

“Please,” You found yourself muttering desperately as you bucked your hips upward a bit because you needed him so badly. 

Steve knew what you were essentially asking for and he wanted the same exact thing. So when he pulled away for a second to remove his t-shirt and basketball shorts and boxers, you slipped off your own underwear and let him make you simultaneously feel and forget everything. 

-

Three Weeks Earlier

“Hey.”

His presence startled you. So much so that you lost your balance a bit and almost fell into the lake. 

“Jesus Christ, Harrington, you can’t sneak up on a girl like that.”

“Sorry about that,” He said and pushed a quick hand through his hair. “I don’t think there was any right way to get your attention.”

You tilted your head at him. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing. Also, how did you get here? I didn’t see your car parked.” 

You turned away from him. “I walked.” 

“That doesn’t sound like the best idea.”

A small shrug was all you gave him in response as you kicked a small rock into the lake. 

You didn’t tell him that all of the walking you did made you so exhausted that the only thing you could think of when you finally stepped foot in your home was sleep and absolutely nothing else. 

You’d come to learn over the past few weeks that it was way too easy for your mind to spiral when you were alone in your bed if you didn’t force yourself to stay awake and do things until you were completely sleep deprived. 

“How’ve you been?” He asked as he walked over to stand next to you. 

You almost laughed at how ridiculous the question was because, in your mind, the answer seemed obvious. You’d been sad, angry, upset at the world, sometimes even upset at Eddie— and you’d always end up feeling like a horrible person when you did become upset at him.  

But you hadn’t seen Steve or anybody else involved since everything happened, so as ridiculous as the question was, it did make sense that he was asking it. 

“Not the best,” You ultimately answered. 

He waited a few moments to see if you would elaborate on what you meant, but you didn’t. 

“You’re kinda one of us now, so you can talk to us whenever. You can talk to me.”

You took a quick glance over at him and saw from the look on his face how much he meant his words. “That’s the thing though, I don’t wanna talk.”

“So, you just wanna wallow forever?” His tone wasn’t accusatory like you expected it to be. Instead, he was genuinely curious. 

“I just want to…” You let out a long sigh.  “Forget. Forget what happened, forget what we went through, forget that he’s gone. Everything.”

Steve didn’t say anything in response to that for a few moments, and you fought the urge to look at him because you knew that he was either staring at you like you were crazy or pitying you. You couldn’t decide which look would be worse.  

“Let me drive you home,” He said softly. You realized then that he probably felt sorry for you and his eyes were more than likely saying the same.  

You kept your gaze trained on the lake in front of you. “I’m okay.”

“Please?”

You only nodded because you knew you couldn’t say no. He’d probably ask a bunch of questions about what was going on with you, and you were a terrible liar so you knew you’d actually have to be honest with him. And how were you going to be honest with him, if you couldn’t be honest with yourself just yet? 

You allowed yourself to get comfortable in the passenger seat of Steve’s BMW, leaning back into the seat and staring out at the dark road ahead of you both. If the circumstances had been different you could’ve maybe found yourself falling asleep in his car. But, it was too quiet and things felt awkward, so you couldn’t help but say the first thing that crossed your mind. 

“How are you and Nancy?”

Steve didn’t say anything for a few long moments, but then he cleared his throat. “She’s, uh, she’s still with Jonathan.”

“Oh,” You said, and couldn’t hide the surprise in your voice. During everything, it seemed like the two of them were on some sort of course toward getting back together. “Sorry.” 

He shrugged halfheartedly. “It’s fine.”

Something about his demeanor told you that it actually wasn’t fine.  

Your eyes glanced at the time displayed on the dashboard. It was two in the morning but you weren’t tired enough. And you really didn’t wanna go back home just yet. 

“Um, can we go to yours actually?”

You fully expected him to question you and ask why you wanted to go to his place and not your own. But, he didn’t ask anything and instead gave you a small nod. “Okay.” 

His house was quiet and although you weren’t entirely sure how long you’d be staying, you slipped off the sneakers you were wearing and left them by the front door. 

“You want something to drink?” Steve asked. “I would also offer something to eat, but there’s nothing really here.” 

You shook your head. “Where’s your bathroom?”

“This way,” He said and then led you upstairs to the bathroom that was connected to his bedroom. 

When you flicked on the light and looked in the mirror, it was then that you noticed how bad you looked, and it actually made sense to you that Steve had wanted to take you home. Your face looked exhausted, but you didn’t feel tired at all.

The t-shirt you were wearing, which had been Eddie’s, was insanely wrinkled and you couldn’t remember the last time you’d taken it off, and the old dark sweatpants you were wearing had some random bleach spots on them. 

When you exited the bathroom, after splashing some water on your face to hopefully bring some life back to it, you noticed Steve lingering by his bedroom door. 

“You could’ve told me how insane I look right now,” You told him. 

“You look… fine,” He said hesitantly and you rolled your eyes as you sat on his bed. “I think you just look tired?”

You let out a small sigh and crossed your legs underneath you. “I’m quite literally the opposite.” 

He sat down next to you and things became quiet. 

“Why were you at the lake?” You decided to ask as you turned to look at him. 

“Couldn’t sleep, so I was just driving around,” He responded and you nodded at that as you looked down at your lap. 

You silently wondered if the aftermath of everything was hitting him as hard as it was hitting you. You almost asked him how he had been doing since it all happened, but the question couldn’t form on your lips. 

“I did mean what I said back there,” He abruptly said as he turned to you. After a few moments of quiet contemplation, you met his gaze. “You can talk to me. I know we didn’t know each other before everything happened, and we still don’t know each other that well. But, still… I’m here. If you ever wanna not forget about everything, we can talk about it.”

You appreciated his words, you truly did. But, the thought of actually talking about everything made you feel physically ill.

Steve placed his hand atop yours and gave it a light reassuring squeeze. The action was so minor and could’ve easily been deemed as meaningless, but it did mean so much to you. For some reason that you couldn’t decipher or understand, he really did care about you. 

You shifted a bit closer to him and allowed your body to move faster than your thoughts could tell you that what you were doing was a bad idea. You moved into his lap, knees straddling either side of his waist. 

“Is this okay?” You asked, eyes meeting his.

He nodded slowly and you could see the minor confusion on his face but you chose to ignore it because if you didn’t you knew that you would start thinking too hard about what you were doing. 

So, instead, you kept your mind off and let your body run on autopilot. Your hands settled at the nape of his neck and you leaned down to kiss him. His hands were firmly planted at his sides, too scared that all of this somehow wasn’t real to touch you back, but he did kiss you with just as much passion as you were giving him. 

It finally felt good to actually feel something; something that didn’t cause you sadness. 

“Touch me, Steve. Please,” You said in-between heated kisses. 

He didn’t have to be told twice and his hands were on you in an instant, sneaking under your t-shirt and rubbing the soft skin of your hip, then waist, then back, then all the way up to your bra-covered breast. You moaned at the feeling of him squeezing you through the thin fabric. 

You pulled back for a second to pull off your shirt and toss it somewhere in the room, and Steve took the opportunity to flip the two of you so you were pressed against the bed and he was on top of you. Your hands found a home in his hair as the two of you resumed kissing with even more intensity that time around. When Steve’s lips found your neck, you involuntarily bucked your hips upward and rubbed yourself against his hardness, which elicited a soft groan from him. 

Abruptly, he pulled away. “Wait– Shit– Sorry.”

He rolled off of you and you turned on your side to look at him with confused eyes; he was staring up at the ceiling. “Why are you sorry?”

“You’re sad right now,” Steve said, still avoiding your eyes. “We shouldn’t be doing this.” 

He was right about the first part, but that didn’t mean that what the two of you were doing was a bad idea. In fact, you thought it was the opposite. 

You were lonely, and you were pretty sure he was too. Why couldn’t the two of you help each other feel not alone? 

“It’s okay. Seriously. I want this,” You told him as you shifted closer toward him and ran a hand through his hair. 

He was looking at you now, searching your eyes for full confirmation that this really was okay. And he didn’t see any uncertainty in your gaze, but he still was hesitant. 

“Please,” The word was soft and quiet, but Steve heard you loud and clear, and something inside of him shifted. 

Finally, he was kissing you again and not wasting a second to move you back on your back so that he was on top of you as he peppered kisses down your body. 

And finally, he was pulling off his shirt and pants and boxers and grabbing a condom, and you were taking off the remainder of your clothes as well. 

And finally, he was slowly pushing himself inside of you and groaning at the feeling of you around him, your wet walls taking him in so well and squeezing around his cock so tightly. 

You moaned and winced at the feeling as you adjusted to having him inside of you. You had had sex before but Steve was huge, and it felt like it was your first time all over again. 

“You okay?” He asked, hand finding your cheek to softly stroke it. 

You gave him a small nod and let your eyes slip shut as you shifted your hips a little. “Mhm. You can move now.”

He pressed a quick kiss to your lips as a way to say “okay” and then slowly began moving, pulling out just a little bit and then pushing right back into you. 

You moaned uncontrollably as your chest swelled and your body was overcome with an insane amount of emotions; and all of them were surprisingly good emotions, which you hadn’t been used to anymore. You had felt so empty for so long that you didn’t expect to ever feel anything again. 

But, now here you were with Steve. 

You opened your eyes and immediately met his dark gaze. You didn’t shy away from his stare. Instead, you liked looking at him and seeing how equally enamored he was with you in that moment because of what the two of you were doing. 

His hair was falling into his eyes with every thrust, so you reached up to run your hands through it, and you loved the loud groan he elicited when you gave his dark locks a soft pull. He began pounding into you with much more vigor. 

“Fuck, Steve. Yes.”

“You’re so good, doing so well for me,” He said as his hand snaked down between your bodies to begin rubbing tight circles against your clit. 

You cried out his name loudly and arched your back at the feeling of his fingers against the sensitive bundle of nerves. “Shit, shit, shit.”

“You’re so close, aren’t you? I can feel you squeezing around me so tight, fuck,” Steve groaned, movements getting harsher and sloppier with each thrust. “You wanna come?”

You nodded immediately and frantically. “M’so close, yes. Please, please make me come.”

His fingers rubbed your clit harder and faster, which was enough to make you see stars and send you over the edge. His lips messily found yours, swallowing your moans as he continued fucking you through your orgasm and found his own release only moments later. 

Your breaths were still coming out in soft pants and you could feel Steve softening inside of you. “Fuck, that was really great.”

“Yeah,” He agreed with a nod and smile as he slipped out of you and moved to his side, still looking at you. You turned your head to meet his eyes. 

Things became comfortably quiet as the two of you simply stared at each other and you could finally feel your eyelids actually getting heavy. But, you didn’t want to fall asleep there. 

“Can you take me home?” You asked, breaking eye contact and sitting up in the bed. 

“Yeah, no problem.”

Minutes later, you were back in the clothes you’d shown up in and then you were back in Steve’s passenger seat. 

And right when your head hit your own pillow, you were asleep and didn’t wake up for a solid eight hours. Which was much different from the usual six, sometimes even five, hours you had become used to getting.

You didn’t think that you’d have sex with Steve again. 

Yes, it was absolutely mind-blowing and you’d love for it to happen again because of how good it made you feel; probably the most “good” you’d felt in a while. But, in your head, it was a fluke. You didn’t regret it, but you just didn’t think the circumstances would align for it to happen again. 

However, when the next night rolled around, you found yourself creating your own circumstances and calling him, and he didn’t hesitate to tell you to come over. 

-

Now 

“You miss him?”

You almost made some joking comment about how Steve was still inside of you and he somehow decided that right then was the time to shift the conversation to your best friend, but you refrained from doing so.

Steve was always so much softer than you were after sex, and he had always wanted to make sure you knew that he was there for you if you wanted more than just sex.

You had wanted to show him that you would do the same for him too; let him talk about Nancy and everything he was feeling from that situation. But, it was too hard.

Because more than anything, you wanted this to be as mindless as possible.

After a few weeks, he decided to stop trying to start a conversation with you after because of how little you reciprocated. However, apparently, this time was different though.

And it was also different for you too because you actually found yourself wanting to talk back.

“All the time,” You finally answered as you shifted off of him and let your head find his pillow as you grabbed the thin sheet to pull it over you a bit. “Pretty much all hours of the day.”

You didn’t say that the only time you didn’t miss Eddie, that the only time things actually felt the tiniest bit bearable, was when you were here with Steve. Because you hadn’t realized that until right then, and the thought slightly startled you.

You turned on your side and faced him. “You miss her?”

He turned too and his hand found your hip underneath the sheet and mindlessly started tracing small circles on the bare skin. “Who?”

You gave him a look because you knew that he knew exactly who you were referring to.

His eyes shut for a second and you could tell that he was thinking about what to say. “Sometimes, I guess.”

You glanced down at the scar he had on his abdomen from where he was attacked by the demo-bats and slowly let your fingers trace against it. “You could always just tell her, y’know? Tell her that you love her.”

“Did you ever tell him?” His voice was quiet.

Your eyes flickered back up to his. “Tell him what?”

“That you love him.”

His words slightly confused you but you nodded your head. “Of course, probably every day. But, that’s different.”

“How?” Steve asked, genuinely curious, and you thought it was slightly funny because in your head the answer to his one-worded question was obvious.

“I didn’t love him how you love her.”

“What?” The confusion was evident in his tone.

Your eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

He shifted and sat up in the bed, the sheet sinking down and barely covering his hips. You almost followed suit and sat up too, but you were too tired to do so, so you just looked up at him and started becoming confused because of how confused he seemed.

“You and Eddie… You two– You guys were together, right?” He asked, eyes finding yours.

“Ew, no,” You said and laughed a bit. “Eddie is like–” You sighed at your mistake. “Was like… a brother to me.”

“But…” Steve trailed off, unsure of what he wanted to say because there was a lot circling his mind right then.

“What made you think that we were dating?”

“You guys were so close. It just– It made a lot of sense,” He answered, and you understood what he meant. You and Eddie were insanely close, but not in that way. Never in that way. Simply the thought of him being anything more than your closest friend felt slightly incestual to you. “And when I saw you that night, after everything, you were crying at lover’s lake.”

“I was not crying,” You said with a small scoff. Although you did remember that you had been close to it that night. “And I hadn’t necessarily gone there on purpose, I was just walking around to make myself tired so that I could sleep, and I ended up there.”

“Wow,” He said, letting out a small breath as he leaned back against the pillow and stared up at the ceiling.

You almost laughed at how surprised he was at your words. “I can’t believe how big of a revelation this is for you.”

He turned toward you again. “It’s just– Wow.”

“Okay, now that that is cleared up, I guess, back to you and your situation. You should just tell–”

Before you could finish your statement, Steve abruptly pressed his lips against yours.

The two of you never kissed outside of sex, only during it and as a prelude to it. Never after, though.

So, that surprised you. Even though you kissed him back almost immediately because of how many times you’d kissed him before, you were still in shock because this was probably the most chaste and sweetest kiss he had ever given you. But, it still felt so familiar.

When he pulled away, you should’ve asked something along the lines of “what was that for?” or “why did you do that?”. But, instead, your mind trailed back to something Steve had said earlier.

“I could never tell you to fuck off.”

And that statement made you ask a question that might have sounded so random, but it felt like it was connected to what he had just done.

“Earlier, why did you say that you could never tell me to fuck off?”

Steve’s hand softly stroked your cheek and he was completely unfazed by your question. “Because I like you too much.”

“But, Nancy–”

He shook his head before you could finish. “She’s with Jonathan and she’s happy. They’re meant to be. I’ve accepted that.”

“But…” It was your turn to trail off because you didn’t know what to say. All you could do was simply stare at him and take notice of how tenderly he was looking at you in that moment.

“This whole time I felt like a horrible person because I was falling for you while I thought you were grieving your boyfriend. I can’t believe how wrong I was,” He said with a small sigh.

Your mind was effectively blank and there was nothing you could even think of saying to Steve right then. There was way too much to process in such a short amount of time.

You felt like you were in the same “misunderstanding boat” as him. Because in your mind he had still been in love with Nancy. Therefore, why would you allow yourself to like him? You would’ve just ended up getting hurt and losing him, and he was the only thing in your life that made you feel somewhat better about Eddie.

You were then reminded of your earlier realization, and how good it felt being with Steve on sleepless nights like these.

“I thought you loved Nancy,” You finally said.

“And I thought you and Eddie had been together.”

You couldn’t help but laugh a bit. “We should talk more. Our communication is pretty shitty.”

His arm circled your waist as he laughed too and pulled you close to him. You let your head settle on his chest and your eyes slip shut.

It was quiet for a few moments before you decided to finally let yourself be completely honest with him. “I think I like you too much too. Like, too much. It’s so much harder to go to sleep when I’m not here with you. And you make things feel a lot better. Everything that happened… It doesn’t hurt as much when I’m with you. Somehow it all actually feels okay.”

Your voice was soft and it could’ve been easy for Steve not to hear you, but he did. Instead of immediately responding, he simply held you tighter and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. You could’ve sworn if your eyes weren’t closed you’d be crying from the action.

“Don’t leave tonight, okay?”

His request didn’t fully surprise you, but at the same time, it did. Mainly because it was something that neither of you ever really talked about or acknowledged.

Sometimes, actually a lot of the times, you would end up falling asleep in Steve’s bed with his arms around you, but you’d always be gone before the morning came because you knew that everything would feel too “real” if your moments with Steve lived beyond the nighttime. And he never called you out on abruptly leaving or ever tried to convince you to stay.  

Of course, now, you didn’t care about what it would mean if you stayed with him as the night slowly faded away. And in fact, you found yourself aching for mornings with him and days spent together doing nothing or driving aimlessly around town in addition to the amazing nights you’d have together.

You smiled softly into the darkness as you nuzzled yourself impossibly closer to him and finally responded. “Okay.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

let me know ur thoughts<333

[imperfection-in-one-human]

The odd one.

Tav x Everyone

Warnings: depressions ; self harming behaviour ; bad english ; bad written lol ; im not good at writing endings ngl ; self doubts ; thoughts about suicide and even mentions ; descriptions of wounds ; teeny tiny bit of fluff ; drama ; angst ; idk poly relationship?

Note: hello everyone who thinks this is gonna be good lol. Its just a little drabble i really wanted to write but thats like my first fic/drabble ever so please be kind :') still i hope you enjoy that small thingy. Also i used they/them as tavs pronouns and theres no specific description to their look. Also there might be typos etc. English is not my native language!

If someone has to describe tav than they would probably take the word "odd". Odd because they were so clumsy that it was nothing new when they tripped over their own feet or stumble right into a trap, indicators where most started to think that they're absolutely not capable of fighting or at least not being good at it. Most would think that they're just gonna stumble into sword, or spells, and call it a day. But, much to everyones suprises, it wasnt like that. Tav was rather good at slaying things, beheading goblins or punch someone so hard that they're loosing foot - they were even good at taking hits until their nose run bloody and their lips were chapped, even bruised. The description of "odd' was perfect for them and still, it seems that there were even more things about them that made them so weird. Not only had they a habit of not treating their wounds probably, no, they also tried to downplay them and saying that they are not as bad as you think it is. Even when shadowheart tried to heal a claffing wound on their arm they just tried to get away from her healing spell - something about "dont waste it in me shadowheart, keep it until someone really needs it. Wyll got wounded too". It was weird but no one really questioned it, they shoved it onto the fact that tav was indeed a very selfless person. Always trying to do something good or even trying to give most of their being to people so that they didnt have to suffer - may it be a healing potion, a weapon or even the safe space behind a wall. Tav would always give up things like that, taking hits for every companion they got ans smile at them afterwards with reassuring words because "it doesnt hurt that much! Dont you worry!"

It was only time later when they found out the truth and its all because of that artist. Someone who they thought they're never gonna see ever again but here he was with a ghost in front of him and said ghost was just so mad at him that everyone was ready again to fight but instead they got to hear the whole story and when the ghost said why she was dead tavs eyes got dull for a second.

A second where it felt as if the ocean crashed right onto them, waves of unspoken sadness and a hidden longing no one wanted a admit, tidal waves who threaten to consume every last single bit of them, swallowing them whole and keeping them right into their embrace. It was as if someone spoke the right words for a curse to be lifted, a lingering curse everyone knew that it existed but no one wanted to admit. It was only then where everyone kind of knew why tav did things the way they did, why they never quite let their wounds heal or reopening them again in a battle. Why they never quite cared enough about themself to even try to heal anything about them. Why they never really took onto the pretty words everyone said to them in and out of camp, why they shied away from any ounce of love even though every single one loved them with such a burning passion that it would burn them and they would happily accept it. They would love to crumble under that heat and still they never really got it, of course they exchanged small little affecrionate gestures like hugs, cuddles or kisses on the cheek but it never seemed to go further than that. They knew that their tav was in shatters and pieces, still they tried to but them back together.. it just seemed that they never quite made it. As if it they were million miles away even though tav was right infront of them. Still that didnt stopped any of them to express their love for their leader, there was still hope that one day they would get into that broken little heart. Maybe they just needed time? Maybe love wouldnt heal them completely?

Maybe everything came into a full picture right here and then even though it was just a small second. After that incident everyone went back to camp where the inevitable came - all of them wanted to know what was going on but no one really dared to ask. It was such a delicate topic, they were scared that their beloved leader would built up even more walls, what they didnt know was the fact how much tavs heart ached - how much they yearned for the love they could have and even the relationship what was right infront of them. The only thing holding them back was fear. Fear that every single of them would see them as they see themself. That they would leave them with their heart in their hands and crush it like fallen leaves from a tree. They were so love and touched starved sometimes it felt like they were going crazy! They wanted all of this to be real and still there was a small voice in their heads telling them that they deserved none of this, that they are not important enough that someone would even care when they were gone. Just died in a battle or got swept away from the absolute. That all of them just love them because they were travelling together and as soon as the journey ends they going seperate ways. Astarion would live the life he wanted, karlach would get her own small home again, laezel fullfilling her wish of ascending, wyll roaming the coast, gale going back to tara and his tower, shadowheart living with her parents and halsin going back into the shadowlands so he can be with his old and beloved friend. That sounded real. That sounded like it would happen and not their little dream of living with them until death itselfs collects them. Still.. they dreamed about that little fantasy everyday, selfishly wanting that and nothing more. Just living in peace with every person they love.. then why does their heart hurt so much as soon as they're showing love for them? Is it too good to be true? Were they scared? Probably everything of the above.

So they really needed to talk to them all of them. And they're gonna do that, letting all of them into that broken heart of theirs and allowing themself to be happy?

... maybe if they let a little bit of sunshine into their pierced heart they may allow themself to dream a little longer with the. To accept the love they wanted to give. Maybe it wasnt such a bad wish after all?

[assortedvillainvault]

Hi! I was browsing the Lord Shen tag and found your blog 👀. I loved the headcanons for ShenxReader through the wolf henchmen's pov ❤️.

Would you mind sharing some headcanons but from the pov of the fluffy Lord peacock himself?

Hi Anon, thank you so much!!

I'm so sorry that my Lord Shen Masterlist slipped my mind - I'm fighting tumblrs atrocious tag search to find my previous writings for him and get them on there for you. In the meantime please - have some more!

Lord Shen x Reader Headcannons

- This stuck up, mithery, hairpin tempered ball of anxiety and condescension is officially your problem now. I mean. You chose this, so I’ll leave it to you as to what end of the bad choices scale you’re landing on, but man. You sure picked.

- I also can’t get over the fact that – in China and most of the East: white is associated with death and sadness, and mourning. You not only picked the unhinged genocide gun bird, you picked the only person in all of China to be literally born emo via albinism.

- I will get back to the above, but I’m mcfucking losing it over the image of Shen being. The smaller of the two of you.

- Like if you were a smaller creature he could properly get his elegant noble stride on, nose in the air and tail gently swishing behind him as he circles you, admiring every angle and relishing the nervous, excited little glances you give him. He might not be a strictly predatory species but he sure loves that thrilling edge of not-quite-stalking. He’s too high class for the genuine article, that’s what he has the wolves for.

- But if you had the audacity to be larger than him?!

- He’d grind his teeth if he had any. He wants so badly to intimidate you – making sure to step with an extra click of metal coated talons, words honey-barbed and sticky as he looks for chinks in your armour, having to crane his head back and up to look you in the eye and- look- could, could you just- just lean down? Lean down for goodness sake just- there. There. Lovely. As he was saying…

- Shen going to go bananas planning the perfect courtship. Everything must be. Exactly. As he plans it. God forbid you trip on the stairs. If you bribe the guards to move all furniture two inches to the left you’re going to have a great time watching Shen’s eyelid twitch for twenty minutes as he tries to figure out what’s ticking him off.

- Want a shortcut? Say nice things about his cannon. No seriously, it’s not a euphemism (though it could be-)

- The cannon is the culmination of Shen’s ambitions, the reason for his exile, the demonstration of ingenuity that set him apart. Seeing you run a hand smoothly over the intricate castings and complimenting his life's work is going to fill him with so many butterflies he’ll have the wedding ready by noon.

- Of course he does, underneath all the royal snobbery and sass, really, genuinely like you. More than he ever thought he could ever like another person. Go you.

- ...He can’t contain the terror that you might not like him back. Not because of all the murder, no, that’s clearly not the issue. But because he isn’t perfect enough for you. Because he’s not enough.

- Shen popped out of his egg all but rocking the 2007 bangs and MCR soundtrack of his time: born the colours of death in a house and species traditionally all the colours of the rainbow will have been like a self fulfilling prophesy – unspoken but not forgotten as he grew up and internalised his inadequacy by striving for excellence in literally everything else in life.

- Excellence in the form of weaponry, security, excessive control and genocidal ruthlessness. Combined with ingenuity, high intelligence and paranoia: all wrapped in a package of straining courtly manners and a need to constantly have the upper hand.

- You keep taking the fucking rug out from under him by reversing the script and being nice. Even his nanny (soothsayer, who has having a great time munching popcorn and giving incidental commentary) gives him shit and drives him up the wall – yet you’re out here, smiling (how dare you-) and- and saying he looks good (he knows, knows he looks sickly and out of place, a reaper amongst royalty-) and – of course you want to hand his hand really, who wouldn’t (who would?) - he’s fine, he’s fine-

- If he dared to let you go, he’d shatter like a discarded doll.

- How does it feel, reader, to hold the fate of all China in the balance of your smile?

[heavenbarnes]

would you please write a Sydney x reader where it’s the scene from season 1 where Sydney has reader over after “quitting” but r is being all flirty and says stuff like we want you back, I need you back

St. Sydney of Chicagoland

Sydney Adamu x reader

Warnings/contains: no mentions of readers gender, swearing, blasphemy, kissing, pining, yearning, all the works.

Sorry this has been sitting in my asks too long but I hope this does it some justice. I want to mean everything to one Sydney Adamu.

There was a quiet little voice in the back of Sydney’s head that was trying to convince her to feel guilty. Trying to conjure up remorse.

Asking her “why the fuck did you do that?”

But she couldn’t find it in her to care, walking out of that restaurant had felt good. She felt free. She felt like the fucking man.

No ifs, not buts, and certainly- no regrets.

Well, ok, on a technicality-

You had looked up at her with those fucking eyes as she’d stormed out. You’d been the voice trying to reason with her. You’d been holding Carmy off with one hand and reaching for her with the other.

Sydney had to say, leaving you behind was one of the toughest things she’d ever had to do. And that was saying something, life hadn’t always been kind to our Syd.

But the decision was made, she’d walked out and it’d take a whole lot more than your beautiful, sad eyes to get her back any time soon.

The knock at her door might help.

Stood on the doorstep, hands folded into one another, those big eyes looked back up at her but they were less sad- more apologetic.

Not that you had anything to apologise for.

“Sydney, I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to apologise for.”

You didn’t let up, you didn’t fold and accept that. You sturdied your shoulders and doubled down. “Maybe so, but you have to hear it from someone.”

And that someone wouldn’t be Carmy and there was a whole new flash of anger rocketing its way up Sydney’s body.

Now was not the time to dwell on old wounds when you were on her doorstep and she hadn’t even thought to let you in. Stepping aside, you crossed the threshold and made an immediate break for the kitchen.

Maybe it was because you associated them with Syd, your subconscious assumed that’s where she’d like to go next. You’d been half correct, the oven was on and something was cooking away.

“Want to stay for a bite?” Sydney asked as she joined you.

You were already making yourself comfortable on her kitchen stool, like you knew the place. Like you belonged here.

Chatting about nothing was easy, few jokes here and there, you had Syd explain basic technique to you like to didn’t graduate from Kendall.

You just liked to hear her talk. You liked her passionate.

On the second spoonful, you decided you’d push your luck.

“I think you need to come back.”

Thankfully, her eyes were still warm when she caught yours. Silence passing between you both an omen of the unspoken.

The way she sighed your name twisted your stomach up in a couple different ways. You felt the need to dead at least one of them.

“I know he treated you like shit but Syd, it’s about the restaurant-“

“Not anymore,” She countered, hands bracing out on the bench in front of her. “It’s about me, it’s about the fact I don’t deserve that.”

“No you don’t, you don’t deserve to be spoken to like that but you do deserve to serve your food- show your talents.”

She laughed, a huffed laugh out her nose as she shook her head. Syd knew you well enough that you weren’t sent here by anyone but she also knew you so well that this wasn’t even you trying.

“Be serious with me,” That shut you up, her back straightening as she looked you head on. “Why are you here?”

Confusion lit up across your face like wildfire and you stuttered a little as you spoke. “What? The restaurant needs you-“

“No, there’s something else.”

Even though she had home court advantage, even though she had control of the conversation- Syd felt nerves dancing right up her arms and strangling her heart.

If she’d reached inside you she would’ve felt the exact same thing. She’d caught on to you way quicker than you’d expected. “Syd-“

She said your name, matter-of-fact. You knew you had one way out of this.

“I’m not going back to that restaurant unless you’re there.”

That silence strung itself back up in the kitchen, passing back and forth between the two of you no better than before.

You had to fill it.

“That restaurant needs you but, Jesus Christ, I need you.”

Her lips parted, not like she was going to speak but like she needed more air in her lungs than she was getting through her nose. Her chest was tightening at an alarming rate.

“I’m no good without you, I don’t want to be good without you.”

Sydney moved on her feet, slowly as she rounded the edge of the counter. Coming to rest in front of you, your knees knocked gently against the outside of her thighs.

This had been that unspoken word, the one that hung between the both of you since you’d met. The shy glances and stuttered “good nights” when neither of you really wanted to leave just yet.

This is what it really was.

It was loving the kitchen but not unless Sydney was leading it. It was a passion for food but only when you could taste her dishes. It was storming out when you’ve had enough but sparing a second glance to see if you’d follow.

And you had.

Her voice was on a whisper, watching your hands reach out for her own. “I don’t know if I can come back.”

You let out a long breath, head tilting forward until her forehead was pressed to yours. Your noses slotted together, lips barely apart.

“Then just come back to me.”

Syd couldn’t bear to look you in the eye, favouring closing them instead and reaching for your lips. The way her mouth held yours felt like coming home, felt like everything you’d thought of each night since your first meeting.

One hand still held hers as the other came to grasp her chin, pulling her closer and hearing her moan so gently against your mouth.

Sydney could barely think with the way you felt, the way you tasted, the way you sound. But there was one thought that was louder than the others.

You might be worth the stress.

[rosyjn]

Ok can I get a human Jake sully where the reader is Norms sister and they have this like tension but never act on it until one night

I CRAVE MORE HUMAN JAKE SULLY

I GOTCHU HUMAN JAKE X NORM’S SISTER SMUTTTT

MDNI

——

“Y/N, your shoe is untied,” your brother slyly remarks as he scurries past you, the cold air of the lab making you shudder.

“Norm,” you sigh and look down at your feet, both sneakers being tied perfectly, bunny ear style.

“Gotcha!” he snaps his fingers and smiles, turning around to face you. “Also, Jake, Trudy, and Grace are coming back soon,” he leans over and picks up a tube from a lab table, swirling it around and staring at it in marvel. But your mind immediately traveled to Jake.

Jake Sully is this new guy. He’s an ex marine. He’s in a wheelchair, a paraplegic. His mindset is different from all the scientists. He’s different. It’s not his disability, it’s not even the fact that he was a marine. It’s something else. He’s so, so attractive. His eyes and voice are intense. You always catch him looking at you from the corner of your eye. He’s always making sneaky conversations with you. He’s on your mind.

While you anxiously think about Jake, he sits with Grace in the back of Trudy’s aircraft, flying over the mountains of Pandora.

“Marine, we’re heading back to the lab. Norm and Y/N will be there,” Grace tells Jake, patting him on the shoulder. Jake looks up and nods, playing it cool. When Grace climbs up to the front to sit with Trudy, he plays with his fingers at the thought of seeing you.

To him, you’re off limits. His friend’s sister. Norm would flip if he found out about the way Jake lays in bed at night, thinking of you and touching himself, and how he peeks at your ass every time you bend over or turn around. But he can’t help himself. Jake loves the way your hair frames your face and the sound of your laughter. Your kind heart, and the fact that you’re beauty and brains. You’re off limits, but you’re perfect for him.

“When do you think they’ll be here?” you tilt your head and peer at the floor of the lab, thinking about Jake. Norm squints at his test tube.

“Like, 10 minutes?” he replies. Your brother is a know-it-all. He’s so nerdy. You cant hate him for it, he’s passionate about his work. And he’s happy.

“Oh,” you say, immediately heading towards the bathroom to make sure that you look good.

“I’m so excited for Trudy to be back,” he smiles as he writes down something on a piece of paper, setting the tube down. You chuckle in the doorway of the lab, holding the doorframe. You never understood how Norm pulled Trudy. They’re an adorable couple. She definitely wears the pants. He loves to follow her around like a lost puppy, bringing her gifts and compliments while she accepts them and pecks his cheek.

You sigh as you walk out, heading towards the ladies’ room. You enter it and switch the light on, shutting the door behind you. You shake your head when you look in the mirror. You wonder about Jake. You know you have chemistry with him. As much as you deny it, you really like each other. It’s almost like, you would be able to date him if Norm wasn’t your brother. Like that unspoken rule, not dating your friend’s sister, was getting in the way.

You dismiss that theory. You try to convince yourself that you and Jake can’t get together because your worlds are too different. He’s a paraplegic ex marine, and you’re a scientist. It wouldn’t make sense to be with him. He’s cold, anyways. His mannerisms and personality are too frigid for him to really want you. You’re a kind, loving girl. The contrast is just unmanageable.

Sure, there’s definitely a tension between you two. You notice him staring at you when you’re working and he catches you admiring his features whenever he’s busy with something else. But it would never work. Being with Jake Sully would never work for you, definitely not with Norm around.

You wipe the sad expression off of your face and move your hair around, trying to improve your appearance for a guy that isn’t yours. You walk away from the mirror, your small skirt flowing behind you as you exit the bathroom, making your way back to the lab.

Your brother notices your face when you walk in. It’s a sibling thing.

“What’s wrong?” Norm’s brows furrow and he puts down his pen.

“Nothing,” you reply as you sit down on a stool, resting your chin on your hand while your elbow sits on the table.

“We’re back!” Trudy’s voice rings from the back doorway, while Grace follows behind her, smiling. Norm’s face lights up and he rushes over to the door, greeting them. Jake’s silhouette hides behind Grace, and you have to peer over her to see him. You get up from your chair, Jake peering at your torso as you stand.

“Hi Grace! Ugh, you’ve been gone all day, it’s already dark outside,” you groan as you hug Grace. She’s like a mother figure to you. She embraces the hug warmly.

“Bunch of new samples today, right Sully?” Trudy sets down a wooden crate full of Petri dishes and containers, turning back to check on Jake.

“Yeah, of course,” he awkwardly nods, wheeling himself towards you. You pull away from Grace’s hug and she grabs the box. You turn to Jake, leaning on a lab table and putting a hand on your hip.

“How was it, Sully?” you smile. He chuckles and nubs the back of his neck.

“Boring, missed you,” he leans forward and playfully pats your hip twice, making your eyes widen. He notices your expression. “What? Norm isn’t looking, don’t worry about it,” he teases. Your brows furrow. He has never been this direct with you.

“God, stop playing,” you push his hand away, your cheeks turning red.

“I wanna show you something,” he assures you. “Tell everyone you’re going to sleep, then go to your room and wait for me,”

“Why?” your knees start to bend as you desperately want to get on his level. He pushes you back up.

“Go, I’ll come and knock soon,” he promises, patting your hip. You nod and walk away from him, towards your brother.

“Hey, think I’m gonna head to bed now,” you mutter softly and put your hand on Norm’s shoulder to get his attention. He whips his head around with raised eyebrows. “Always on your toes,” you chuckle and shake your head. Norm nods.

“Alright, good night,” he leans back in his chair to continue his conversation with Trudy.

“Good night, honey. Hope we didn’t keep you waiting too long. I know we came back late,” Grace smiles and holds her hands out, initiating another hug before you go off to sleep. You hug her and Jake smirks as your ass peeks out. You pull away and smile, waving as you exit the lab and start your short journey to your bedroom.

The walk there is anxious. Butterflies swarm your tummy. Is this it? Maybe it’s not. Maybe he wants to sit down with you and tell you to stop flirting with him, formally. Maybe he wants you to keep going. You’re practically jumping with anticipation. You know he knows which number your room is.

You rush towards the door of your bedroom, unlocking it, and leaving it that way for Jake. You hurry in. Thoughts flood your brain. You decide to get ready for him. You rush into your closet, picking out a new pair of lace panties and a nightgown. You eagerly grab them, choosing to put on a show for him. You crack the door of your room open just a little bit, so Jake knows to come right in. Then, you hop right into the shower.

You use a vanilla body wash, scrubbing yourself down. An unscented wash for the intimate areas, and a matching shampoo for the hair. You can’t wait for him to see you like this, all fresh and smooth, ready for him. When you leave the shower, the mirrors are fogged up and a vanilla aroma fills the air. You slide on your nightgown, debating on whether you should put the panties on or not. You decide to wear them, for modesty purposes.

Confidently, you open the bathroom door, shower steam flowing out. You immediately sense another presence in the room. Your eyes widen and your head jerks over to Jake, who is holding a bouquet of flowers and smirking, enjoying the view.

“Oh! Hi-“ you begin to get nervous. You don’t have a bra on. You’re standing in a flimsy nightgown and slutty panties in front of him.

“C’mere, brought you something,” he leans back in his wheelchair, gesturing at the flowers. But you’ve just noticed the door, which has now been shut, and locked.

“That’s so nice-“ you look down at your body, your nipples poking through your nightie, then back up at him. “Sorry, I just-“ you hesitate in nervousness.

“No, it’s good, I like looking at it,” he says. Your breath hitches. “Come here, Y/N,”

You walk over to him, eyeing the flowers in his hand. When you’re close to him, you reach out for them.

“May I?” you ask.

“They’re for you, go ahead,” he holds them out to you and you grab them from him, laughing and placing them on the dresser.

“Sit in my lap, Y/N,” his eyes grow stern and he pats his leg. Of course you give in to him. You get close and straddle him, making eye contact as you sit on him. Your clit rubs up against a firm part of his pants and you gasp.

“What.. what’s up?” you ask him, placing a hand on his cheek.

“You know what’s up. I need you,” his hands grab onto your waist and your eyes widen with his words.

“What do you mean?” you question, furrowing your brows.

“You know exactly what I mean. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be half naked and in my lap right now,” his grip on your waist tightens and his eyes burn into yours.

“Oh- I-“ your cheeks turn red and your face gets hot. Jake doesn’t tolerate it, he just grabs your face and presses your lips against his. You hesitate at first, but then you kiss back. Your lips play with each other and your heart speeds up.

“Y/N, I love you. I love you so bad,” he pulls away from your lips and stares lovingly into your eyes. You’ve never seen him this vulnerable before. You bury your face into the crook in his neck and hug him, squeezing tight.

“Mm hmm, love you too,” you whine as you kiss his neck, grinding up against his growing cock over his pants.

“Fuck me then,” he rubs your head as you leave marks on him. You pull away and get off of Jake for a second.

“Ready?” you ask. He doesn’t know what you mean, but he smiles, assuring you that he is. You slowly take your nightgown off in front of him, arching your back as the fabric slides off of you. He fiddles with his pants, eagerly ripping them off as he watches your boobs.

“My god,” his eyes grow wide with admiration as he watches your body. You cant stop staring at his cock, throbbing and hard for you. You turn around and bend down, picking up his pants and underwear off of the ground while your ass is up in his face. He smacks it and you giggle, folding his clothes neatly and setting in on the dresser with the flowers and your nightgown. “So perfect, inside and out,” he remarks.

“Can I ride you?” you fiddle with the strings of your panties, pulling them down in front of him as you make perfect eye contact. Jake’s stuck in a trance, nodding yes to everything that you say, while he takes his shirt off.

You position yourself over him, completely naked. His heart moves fast and he holds your hips. You slowly sit down, gasping when the tip goes in. You moan and your legs tremble as you sink down further, taking him completely into your cunt. He grunts when you bottom out and your hips rest in his lap. You two stay like that for a second, catching your breaths and embracing each other, while his throbbing cock remains deep inside of you.

His fingertips dig into your hips as he moves them on his dick. You whimper into the crook of his neck and your pussy clenches around his girth. Jake pants and holds onto you tightly. He grinds your hips onto him at a slow pace, throwing his head back to absorb every second and sensation. His eyes clench shut in pleasure. An electric feeling pulses through your stomach and heat as you feel your orgasm approaching.

“Jake,” you whine.

“Hmmmm,” he lowly groans.

“I-“ you yelp as he speeds you up, grabbing your hips and snapping them into his, faster.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he desperately pants as you bounce up and down on his cock. His pre cum squirts into you, brushing warmly on your cervix and making your back arch. He bares his teeth and picks his head up, watching your tits bounce and the way your cunt takes him so well.

Your mouth lies ajar and your eyes clench shut when you have your climax. You pulsate and squeeze his dick tightly and your eyes roll back into your skull. You grip his shoulders tightly, leaving small marks in the shapes of nails. Your nipples perk up and Jake watches them as he grips your hips the same way and releases himself inside of you.

You two sit like that for a second, coming down from your highs. Jake kisses your neck and breasts, praising you and whispering sweet words. You hold his head, his cock still resting inside of you.

“You okay?” you ask him, lifting yourself off of his dick.

“Yeah,” he exhales, and when his member leaves your heat, it makes a small “pap” sound that he smiles upon hearing.

“Come,” you climb onto the bed, exhausted from the sex. “Come lay down with me,” you pay the spot next to you and flop down. Jake tilts his head and wheels himself over, climbing to snuggle with you.

[possibilistfanfiction]

not truly a prompt but would love some more outside perspective for surgeons au

‘dr. v, hey, what’s up?’ silva says, leaning against the doorframe of the supply closet with far too much aplomb for someone who spilled chili all over himself in the cafeteria — in front of beatrice, who had, horrifyingly, just rolled her eyes with a smile — merely an hour ago.

‘silva.’

you’re a little proud when dr. silva — usually infuriatingly unflappable — gulps. ‘hey, so, uh, well. i’m saying this in confidence.’

you resist the urge to just walk past her, because you definitely could, and you’re way too busy, but she’s unfortunately actually a great intern, switched to your service after beatrice told chief superion they had feelings for each other. which, well — it seems serious, and dr. silva has made beatrice, your best friend — your sister — happy, happier than you’ve ever seen her, so you’ve come to terms with the fact that ava silva is probably going to be in your life for a long time now.

‘go on,’ you say.

ava nods, steps into the supply closet and closes the door, glancing behind him quickly. 

‘the coast is clear, for whatever secret you’re about to divulge that i’m sure i won’t want to know.’ you know the coast is clear because you come into this particular supply closet to catch your breath when days are chaotic and overwhelming, to, on occasion, shed a tear or two over a bad outcome or, even more embarrassingly, a great outcome, too much family thanks sent your way. 

dr. silva isn’t deterred at all. ‘okay. um. beatrice cried herself to sleep last night. and last thursday night too. i know she doesn’t want me to know, or i guess, she probably doesn’t, but, like, i care about her, a lot, and i lov— ‘ ava shakes his head, a little panicked, but then soldiers on. ‘do you know why? is there anything i can do?’

beatrice, you are well aware of, has therapy every thursday, barring emergencies she can’t get out of. you also know, from years and years of watching her hold feelings in for days, weeks even, until she explodes a little, that beatrice is a slow processor, someone who needs her time to understand what she’s feeling. before she met ava, you’d text her every thursday, after she’d gone to the dojo or climbed or run, and you’d read a new study together (not sworn to secrecy) or catch up on love island (sworn to absolute secrecy). 

but now there’s dr. silva — ava; there’s someone for beatrice to be held by, someone to warm the cool side of the bed. you can understand from when you first started dating camila, the sheer panic that she would realize you needed things, the sheer panic that you needed her, that beatrice doesn’t want to share with ava whatever was difficult or sad or hard to process. beatrice is excellent at most things, including kindness, and especially including steadiness, and you know, no matter how open she is in therapy, that what she grew up having shoved down her throat is not an easy thing to overcome. 

‘she has therapy, thursday morning, every week if she can make it.’ maybe beatrice would be mad at you, but you don’t think so — sometimes it’s easier to have help, anyway. 

‘oh,’ dr. silva says, their shoulders relaxing immediately. ‘well that makes a ton of sense. i was worried it was my cooking or taste in music or something.’

‘i’m sure those things don’t help.’

she rolls her eyes. ‘thanks for telling me.’ thanks for knowing beatrice so well; thanks for loving her too goes unspoken; to dr. silva’s credit, she does seem to understand that there are lines too tender for her to cross.

you nod, just once, and motion toward the door. dr. silva steps aside, a little hurried, trying to be polite — for once.

‘i need post-ops on mr. williams, and then we have a consult with dr. masters.’

‘sexy.’

‘i can get you fired, you know.’

dr. silva’s grin, under the florescent lights in the hallway, is almost rakish. ‘i do know that, and i also know you wouldn’t.’

‘the next abscess i see is yours.’

ava just laughs.

/

beatrice slips into the supply closet silently, just behind you, a week later.

‘jesus,’ you grumble. ‘i’ve got to find a new spot.’

she’s undeterred, wearing a fleece over her scrubs and a bright orange fisherman’s beanie — silva’s undoubtedly; beatrice would never buy anything bright orange herself — a neat canvas tote from her favorite coffee shop on her shoulder — tired, and on her way out. ‘did you tell ava i had therapy on thursdays.’

‘well, you do.’

she clenches her jaw, seems to toy with what she wants to say. ‘thank you,’ she settles on, surprisingly but also not: beatrice is kind, above all else; kinder than you ever expect. 

‘i apologize,’ you find yourself offering, ‘if i overstepped.’

she shakes her head. ‘it’s — was it hard for you?’

‘camila?’

she sags back against the closed door. ‘letting someone in, like that.’

‘well, i certainly didn’t choose ava.’

beatrice laughs, a little, but, ‘i don’t feel as if i had much of a choice. he’s, just, spectacular.’

you refrain from saying anything mean; there will be time enough, years and years and years of it if beatrice has any say. ‘he took care of you?’

‘as much as i let her.’

you have to smile, then; there are a handful of times you’ve been in charge of taking care of beatrice: after her parents visit, each time, especially in college, tears and hours of sparring; after she had top surgery, helping her take a bath and deal with her drains; once when she got food poisoning from a sketchy burger place she resolutely loved. ‘no small task.’

‘we’ve got to get better at that, don’t we?’

’speak for yourself. i’m a seasoned professional.’

‘ah yes, you, remarkably comfortable accepting affection and care. since the moment we met.’

you laugh; you can’t help yourself. ‘you’re happy?’

‘beyond.’

’sure you couldn’t pick someone less… ava?’

beatrice elbows you but it’s lacking any malice. you sling an arm around her shoulders, as close to a hug as you’d get under normal circumstances, especially at work. ‘you know,’ she says, ‘everyone knows you come in here to decompress. you’re not stealthy.’

you shrug. ‘intimidating, then. no one interrupts me.’

she lets you have it with just a small smile, kind once again, and makes to slip out the door. ‘i’ll leave you to it then.’

‘sure.’

‘drinks later when you get off? perhaps just the two of us?’ a measure of care you’ve never been brave enough to offer but are always grateful to accept — your oldest friend.

‘i would really like that, beatrice.’

she nods. ‘text me when you’re done.’

[dr-futbol-blog]

The Defiant One, Pt. 1

I've thought about where I would have placed 38 Minutes (S01E04) that seemed to fit ill so early in the season, and I think it would have made the most sense between the mid-season two-parter and The Defiant One (S01E12), discussed here.

The Genii siege visibly changes something between Sheppard and McKay, and we get to resolve that a little too fast in this episode that follows directly after. 38 Minutes has that strange almost-confession to Weir,* which would have made more sense here as Weir and Sheppard seem to grow closer at the end of The Eye (S01E11) although, I argue, it is precisely because Sheppard needed to create distance between himself and McKay that they did. He was using Weir to create distance, in effect hiding behind her, because Kolya figured out after like a minute of talking to Sheppard that McKay was the best way of getting to him. Sheppard was reminded of the fact that being important to him put McKay in mortal danger.

In 38 Minutes, we also have Sheppard's own near death experience and everyone working so very hard to save him, McKay worrying so much about him, the way that they look at each other, that something unspoken lingering between them, McKay's agitation over what ever Sheppard wanted to tell Weir; all of that would have made sense between these two episodes. The Iratus bug could have symbolized Sheppard's internal anguish: the way he's in agony at first and then the pain gets so bad that he gets numb and loses all feeling. It all would have made so much sense.

But regardless, we start the episode with a driving flying lesson (which, incidentally, also would have made the most sense following the events where both Sheppard and the other designated pilot were incapacitated at the same time). McKay received the ATA gene therapy and Sheppard is teaching him how to fly the puddle jumper. Where the previous episode ended with Sheppard very clearly wanting to create distance between them, here they are all cozy with each other again. Or s it seems.

Clearly, this is important. As mentioned previously, they need more pilots since there are few people with the ATA gene (two that we know have the real gene, a few others through gene therapy), and only a fraction of them know how to fly. It's important not only for the mission and taking the pressure off the commander having to do transport flights, it's also important for the team to have another person capable of doing it. And apparently neither Teyla nor Ford are able to do it (toward the end of the episode, they have a random soldier having to fly them over) which makes McKay not only the best choice but also the only one.

So whether he wanted to or not, what ever he was feeling inside, teaching Rodney how to fly the jumper was something that needed to be done. And here we are.

What Sheppard says is very interesting.

Granted, we don't know anything about his background at this point, often the way people talk to others reveals a lot about how they've been talked to in the past. It indicates that when ever he did something wrong as a child, he was corrected by snapping at him. My guy, you're in space. What could possibly happen if he lets go of the controls? You're going to veer off and crash into some more space?

It's also notable that he uses 'parents' instead of 'dad' or 'father' (both being that he is a guy and as dads are much more likely to be the one teaching kids how to drive; also, he himself was clearly taught by a driving instructor but teaching your kids how to drive is actually pretty common, it's a loving thing to do, and parents are supposed to be teaching their kids even in the case that they have an instructor, as kids learn by watching their parents whether they want it or not). So, you know. He has a mysterious past and a sad childhood, looks like.

Granted, McKay also seems to have had a pretty crappy childhood and, what's worse, seems to think it was all completely normal. We hear him reveal all manner of child abuse casually, here and there. It seems that they both were lonely and sad but for different reasons. McKay's immediate gut response "Snapping doesn't help!" is likewise telling, indicates that there was a lot of pressure put on him from a very young age.

Sheppard's use of the word 'parent' also creates distance between him and one or both of his parents. This man has been court-martialed, he has clearly been traumatized by something. He does not think he has anyone waiting for him back on earth. We know at this point that several people he served with have died, and that he blames himself for every one of these deaths. And he's not good at dealing with emotions, especially difficult ones. He says as much in Sateda (S03E04):

Sheppard: Look, Teyla. I'm not really good at, uh... Actually, I'm... I'm terrible at expressing... I don't know what you'd call it, uh... Teyla: Feelings? Sheppard: Yeah, sure,

He is terrible at expressing feelings. He especially has trouble verbalizing them.

When he is feeling difficult emotions, he uses self-soothing techniques (see the lip thing). One of these self-soothing techniques is creating distance between himself and the object of his emotion. So, instead of father he says parent (mom+dad) because he essentially uses the less significant, less painful thing (mom) to conceal the more significant, more painful thing (dad). Using the less significant object to create distance to the more difficult object forms like a barrier between him and an emotion he does not want to or can't face or deal with just then. Just like, in the previous episode, he used "Weir and McKay" instead of McKay. He was using the less significant, less important thing to mask the more significant, more important thing. It lessens the impact of the emotion attached to it. We see him do this a lot especially in connection to Rodney ("Even Rodney"). Again and again and again.

You can see him do the self-soothing lip thing before engaging McKay (like he's not sure he should say anything, like he wants to not have to say anything; he just can't help himself when it comes to this man):

Here, he is creating distance between himself and one or even both of his parents (and let's face it, it's probably the dad) but he's also, at the same time, creating distance between himself and McKay both by using the passive voice and lumping McKay into the category of kids. See previous episode as to why he desperately needs this distance between them.

But what he is actually saying here is that he is emotionally too close to McKay to be able to be an effective instructor to him. That's what he is saying. He's emotionally compromised. Now, whether you think his feelings are fatherly (he does not look at McKay the way a father looks at a son), friendly (he does not look at McKay the way a friend looks at a friend), collegial (he does not look at McKay the way he looks at Ford and Teyla), or whether you believe he thinks of himself as McKay's second uncle third removed, this is what he's saying in the scene. That he's too close to McKay to be able to teach him. He feels that he is too close to McKay.

It's possible that the whole reason as to why he's teaching McKay how to navigate the jumper is that it would allow him not to have to accompany him on these kinds of missions, harmless and scientific. If McKay knows how to fly a jumper, they would be able to spend less time together. Spending less time together would mean less emotion, would mean less pain, less of a chance for him to get McKay hurt or killed. This is foolish to think, of course, since absence has a tendency of making the heart grow fonder, as the saying goes. But we saw him start creating this distance between them at the end of The Eye (S1E10) and this is on par, is a logical continuation of that.

Humour, as it turns out, is another way of creating distance and coping with difficult emotions.

We are again reminded of the fact that McKay does not know not to keep it straight. Sheppard can do it in the air but not on land.

So, the thing is. As much as Sheppard wants to create distance between them, Mckay wants the opposite. He wants to connect with the Major. He's not making it easy for Sheppard. In this, he is defying him.

McKay tells Sheppard that he's touched by his sentiment. Keeps glancing at him. He refers to the puddle jumper, for all intents and purposes Sheppard's puddle jumper, as baby. He wants to see what this baby can do. Baby is a term of affection used most often by men to indicate that they see something or someone as soft and beautiful and needing to be taken care of in a gentle way. There is definitely something flirty in McKay using this term for Sheppard's puddle jumper.

But then Sheppard picks this up from McKay and also calls the jumper baby (yes, he's amused by the way McKay said it and ribbing on him, but picking up vocabulary from the object of your affection is yet another classic sign of attraction). They are taking care of the baby together. Parents, kids, babies. Freud probably would have a lot to say about the things they say and their subconscious desires.

Freud might also have something to say about Sheppard's fear that McKay is going to "snap the damn things off" if he doesn't ease up his grip on the control stick. But he doesn't want McKay to take his hands off them, either. He's instructing McKay on exactly how it likes to be held.

(We are also reminded of subconscious desires by the control display popping up, seeing how the puddle jumpers respond to Sheppard's mind; his desires.)

They are accompanied on the mission by two red shirts, random scientists we have never seen before but who we are to believe have worked with McKay previously and know him pretty well.

So, maybe it's because of the intense, borderline erotic look of concentration on McKay's face or his tone of voice, or what ever, Sheppard seems to start gravitating toward McKay. Even in front of two people he barely knows that work for the other man. Here, he turns back to look at Dr. Gaul, clearly amused by how different this scientist is from his scientist, but what he's doing at the same time is lean closer to Rodney:

He looks... turned on, frankly. And he sure as hell is not turned on by Dr. Gaul, sweating though he may be. The reason that he turned back to look at the nauseous scientist behind him might actually have been just to look away from the sex faces McKay is making while he's concentrating real hard.

Then he leans in even closer, to whisper conspiratorially to McKay. And McKay, well. He leans in, as well.

Sheppard: Why'd you choose this guy for the mission? McKay: Brendan's the one who discovered the Lagrange Point satellite was out here. Elizabeth felt he should see it for himself. Sheppard: Don't let go of the controls!

Sheppard snaps in a sudden jolt of panic. And it may not be McKay letting go of the controls that made him do it. It's that he mentioned Elizabeth, reminding him of why he needed to not be that close to Rodney. Just like McKay used Elizabeth's name (yelping "Elizabeth!" in near panic) when Sheppard was getting too close to him in his lab in The Storm (S01E09). They both seem to be using Weir as a... weir between them.

And again, as he will many, many times in the future, Sheppard needs to be touching something, needs to have his hands pressed against something, when he's near McKay:

Then they arrive at their destination and switch seats. They move seamlessly together, Sheppard needs only to mention his name and McKay does exactly what he wants, and is only too happy to oblige. We've seen this happen in movies between a man and a woman. It has never not been erotic (underlined by McKay's line "This thing is enormous!"):

Here, it's McKay that keeps glancing back and back at Sheppard as they're approaching the humongous ancient weapons platform. A weapons platform that should be a pretty interesting thing to look at, all things considered. But his eyes keep on being drawn back to Sheppard who, it should be noted, is wearing only a t-shirt.

Sheppard is trying not to look at McKay, catches himself several times before he does. He's not allowing himself to do it. That's until they come upon the wraith distress call from the planet below.

They look at each other. They communicate in words but they also communicate with their eyes. Suddenly, they are one mind again.

Continued in Pt. 2 (NB this episode focuses entirely on Sheppard and McKay so this is in 10 parts)

.* Actually Weir's whole "I didn't think so!" schtick would have made sense if it was about her knowing that Sheppard had been using her to create distance between himself and Rodney. Like she was telling him that she knows the half-hearted flirty smiles at the end of The Eye weren't really about her (same with the nurse right then) but were an attempt to build a defensive barrier between himself and the thought of losing someone important to him again. Because she knows.

Also, we would just have had a similar confession from Rodney where he was trying real hard to tell something to Weir and she wouldn't let him finish. Those almost confessions would mirror each other.

McKay: If this doesn't work... Weir: It will. McKay: I'm just saying, if it doesn't work... Weir: It will. McKay: I'm sure it will, but in the unlikely event that it doesn't, I... Weir: Rodney! Please.

---

Sheppard: Listen, uh, I'd like to say something while I still can. Weir: Don't! You're gonna get through this. Sheppard: If I was ... he wouldn't have let me go. Weir: Who wouldn't have let you go? Sheppard: The Wraith.

Sheppard: What I wanted to say was ... Weir: Save your strength, John, and tell me in person. Sheppard: This is important. Weir: I'm listening.

[thelov3lybookworm]

You Deserve Better (part six)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

•○🌑○•

Cassian's pov

Cassian had just finished his bath after a gruelling training session and sat down on the couch next to Az, opposite Rhys, when Rhys's mom walked in with a little girl hiding behind her skirts.

"I'm home boys." The Lady of Night Court said in her soothing and gentle voice, her wings tucked behind her. She tugged on the small hand holding her larger one, but the girl didn't budge from her position. The lady sighed. "Rhysand, come get your sister. She insisted on coming to meet you, but now she won't stop hiding."

Rhys stood up, grinning, walking towards them and peeking at the little girl. "Hello sweet pea."

The little girl's smile turned into a scowl, and honestly, it was so adorable Cassian couldn't help but let out a small laugh.

"I don't like peas Rhysie. Don't call me that."

"Alright fine. Now come here. Let mother go." She reluctantly let go of her mother's skirts and raised her arms towards Rhys, waiting to be picked. He obliged and walked back to his place."I'm going to change and the go cook dinner. Don't get into any trouble."

"Us? Trouble? Never." Cassian said. As she passed by him, she ran a hand through his hair, patting Az's shoulder before entering her room.

"How have you been Thea?" Rhys questioned, setting her in his lap.

"I've been fine. Father got me more new toys and candies yesterday. Don't tell mother, but I sneaked some for you as well."

"Is that so? That's so nice." Then Rhys angled her so she could look at Cassian and Azriel. "That is Cassian. And that is Azriel."

Cassian smiled at her and she clung harder to Rhysand, as if they were going to eat her. Cassian walked over to them and knelt next to Rhys. "Hello Althea. How are you?"

"I'm good. Cassian." She said hesitantly. She looked up at her brother when Cassian held out his hand, who nodded. She slid her tiny hand into his.

"You can call me Cass." He said raising her hands and placing a kiss on her knuckles. She began giggling.

"Cass... can I call you Cassie?"

"C–cassie?"

"Mmhmm." She nodded seriously. "Like I call Rhys Rhysie, you'll be Cassie. Otherwise you can't be my friend."

"Oh mother. That's sad. I guess you can call me Cassie then."

She then turned to look at Az, who smiled. "You'll be Azzie." She didn't wait for his response as she hopped down from Rhys's lap and grinned at him before pulling out candies from her pockets and setting them on the table. "For all of us. We should eat them before mother sees." She said gravely.

•○🌑○•

As the inner circle waited for Rhys and Feyre to arrive with Nyx, Elain spoke up.

"Can I ask something, if you don't mind?"

"Sure Elain." Cassian said as he settled between Mor and Nesta. Everyone had arrived and already taken their seats. Azriel angled his body towards Elain as she opened her mouth to speak.

"Who is the seat on the left side of Rhys's for? Its always empty and no-one sits there."

Cassian smiled as memories flooded him from back when Althea was still living in Velaris with them. How she always loved to bicker with him, but loved him just as much. How, since the first time he had met her, she had always insisted on calling him Cassie, rather than just Cass.

After she had left, it had become an unspoken fact that the seat next to Rhys's was only reserved for Althea.

The flap of wings could be heard but no one paid attention to it as they knew it would be Rhys. They didn't realise there was a second pair of beating wings.

"That seat is for–"

"Me." Someone said from near one of the many balconies. Cassian whipped his head around, and his heart stopped dead in his chest.

There she stood, next to Rhys and Casteel, in a sleeveless turtleneck flowy white gown, grinning at them.

"That is my seat."

Cassian was out of his chair and halfway to Althea before he even realised he had moved. She also moved and the next moment, she had her arms thrown around his neck and he had completely lifted her off the ground.

"Cassian! I swear if you dare drop me– you asshole!" She screeched when he twirled her around. He laughed, but set her down. He flicked her nose and she swatted his hand away. "Well, hello to you too Cassie."

She looked behind him and smiled. "Hello Mor." Althea walked to her and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm sorry–"

"Shh. Its alright." She pulled back to look at Mor and grinned. Then waved her left hand in front of her face. "I'm engaged."

Mor squealed and hugged her again. When they parted, Althea barely had the time to turn before Amren pulled her down for a hug. Althea gaped, looking at Cassian before hugging her back.

"About time you returned, girl." She let go as suddenly as she had grabbed Althea.

Althea grinned, turning to look at others that were gathered. Cassian walked to Rhys while Feyre introduced Althea to her sisters.

"She really is back?"

Rhys shook his head. "I'm not sure."

He glanced at Casteel who stood next to him.

"We might stay for today, and maybe meet frequently, but we are needed at the camp. She helps with the girls' training. I've told her she doesn't have to and that she could stay here, she hasn't decided yet."

Rhys nodded while everyone proceeded to sit at the table, an extra chair next to Althea's having been summoned by the House.

•○🌑○•

Althea's pov

They had moved to a sitting room after the dinner, having brought out Rhys's wine. They were all talking and laughing about some story Cassian was telling, and Althea grinned. She had missed this.

It wasn't as awkward or scary as she thought it would be. And seeing Azriel didn't bother her at all, which she was not really surprised to realise.

She was sitting between Rhys and Casteel, her head on Rhys's shoulder, Feyre next to him with Nyx playing with the ornaments on her chest. Cassian was on the couch next to Casteel, his arm around Nesta. Elain sat next to Nesta, Azriel next to her. Amren and Varian sat on the other couch with Mor.

Everyone fell silent, smiles on their faces, thinking about what to say or do next. Then Cassian spoke up again, serious, as if he were planning a war.

"Let's play truth or dare. If you don't answer or do the dare, you take a shot."

"Alright." Althea sat straighter, while the glasses and liquor appeared and Mor filled all of them up.

"I'll go first." Cassian grinned, turning to Casteel. Althea poked Casteel's back.

"Be prepared. I'm pretty sure he's going to ask what I think he is."

He nodded. "Truth." Raising his wine glass, he took a sip.

"Have you ever measured your wingspan? If yes, how big is it?"

Casteel sputtered, choking on the wine as soon as the question was out of Cassian's mouth. Althea had to pat his back, and he took a deep breath.

"Didn't I tell you how serious these people are regarding wingspans?"

"I didn't realise." He muttered. "No. I haven't ever measured it. Didn't need to."

"Why?" Nesta questioned.

"I know how big parts of me are, which I'm pretty sure is the reason you're asking." This time, Althea choked on the tea that she was drinking, opting out of drinking wine, knowing she couldn't handle it.

Casteel leaned back, grinning while she glared at him. The smug bastard.

Nesta's interest seemed piqued while Mor was grinning too. Cassie had narrowed his eyes, and Elain looked around questioningly. When she turned to Azriel, he looked away.

"Anyway, it's my turn. Thea, truth or dare."

"Truth."

"Hmm." As he was wondering what to ask her, Cassian leaned over and whispered something in his ear, making him grin. "What's the most embarrassing thing that has happened in front of someone you were interested in?"

"Drinking. That's all. I drink something, and I do all the embarrassing things imaginable." She paused before continuing. "Only once has me drinking led to anything good."

"And when was that?" Mor asked.

"The night we confessed." She sent a cheeky grin at Cas before turning to Rhys. And so it continued, till it was again Cassie's turn.

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to compare your wingspan to the one with the biggest wingspan here. That would unfortunately be Azriel. Not me." He sighed sadly.

"Told you they were obsessed with wingspans." Althea murmured as Casteel stood.

"What do you mean unfortunately?" Azriel grumbled as he walked over and stretched his wings. A measuring tape appeared in front of Cassian and he stood, everyone's focus on the Illyrians stretching their wings.

He started measuring Azriel's wings first, then, saying it out loud, he walked to Casteel, who extended his. Everyone watched with bated breath as Cassian measured it, his eyes widening.

"Holy shit."

"What?" Azriel and Rhys asked simultaneously.

"His is fucking bigger. Two inches, to be precise."

Rhys shot up, walking till he was next to Cassian, gaping when he realised he wasn't lying.

Althea shook her head as all the Illyrians settled back in their places, all of them except Casteel grumbling. When Cassian turned to look at Nesta, she shook her head at him, frowning. Which was not really the best thing to do, as he started arguing and bickering with her. Althea yawned, her eyes drooping.

As the game went on, it was Casteel's turn, making him look at her. "You wanna go sleep?" He asked when he realised she was halfway to falling asleep on Rhys's shoulder. Althea nodded, sitting up straighter. As she announced that she was going to go rest, Casteel stood up. Being mostly tired, but also craving his attention and love, she raised her hands, wanting to be picked up. He raised a brow.

"Come on. I need some affection, alright? You've been ignoring me the whole day."

Casteel grinned, bending to pick her up. "Is that so, princess?" He mumbled in her ear.

"Yes." Her arms wrapped around his neck as his one of his hands went behind her knees and the other braced her back.

"Oh Mother, never thought I'd see something so scandalous!" Mor whisper yelled.

The retort on the tip of Althea's tongue died down as she again nodded of, before she buried her face in Cas's neck.

She had no recollection of what happened next other than hearing everyone deciding to go to sleep and Casteel following Azriel because his and Althea's rooms were pretty close.

•○🌑○•

Casteel set her down on the bed, a set of folded night clothes appearing at the foot of the bed. Casteel helped her change into them, which was code for he dressed her, because she was dozing off the whole time. When he was done with her, he went into the adjoining bathing room to change into his own night clothes. As he came out, he found Althea sleepily reaching for him. He smiled, climbing in next to her and pulling her into his chest, covering the both of them with his wings and falling asleep.

What he didn't realise, was that a fuming spymaster, the one who had been quiet and indifferent throughout the time they had been in Velaris, was hiding in the corner of the room, where the shadows were the thickest, wondering how and why the hell he had rejected the female in Casteel's arms.

•○🌑○•

The wedding was in two days.

Althea was ecstatic. Impatient. But also nervous. Panicked. What if things didn't go as planned? What if something happened? What if Casteel decided he didn't want to be with her?

It was a stupid thought, because everyone knew that would never happen.

They were just finishing some last minute shopping and picking up the wedding outfits, when it happened.

Althea was deep in conversation with Feyre, Mor and Nesta, the men following behind. Elain had chosen to stay back at the River House, tending to her garden, and Amren and Varian were doing whatever they did in their free time at Amren's apartment.

A tiny meowing sound drew Althea's attention, and she peeked around Feyre, finding a tiny white cat shivering in the shade of the building. It looked so scared. Althea pulled away from the group who slowed down and crouched next to the cat, picking it up. It was a boy.

Althea rubbed his head, holding him close till he stopped shivering. Then she stood and turned to Casteel with a pout.

"I can't leave him here Cas. Look at him. He looks so frail. Can I keep him?"

He looked like he wanted to say no, but then he sighed. "You think I can say no?"

Althea squealed, kissing his cheek before whispering in the cats ear that she was taking him home, like one would talk to a child.

"Never realised you wanted a cat." Rhys mused.

"Yeah well, now you know. I think I'll name him Silas." She looked up at him, her eyes meeting Az's in the process of looking back down at Silas.

SNAP.

•○🌑○•

A/n: I know I said I would take some time in posting this as I'm reading the new book in Casteel's series but I felt like not being bad. So here yall go loves.❣️

Taglist: @bubybubsters @Act1839 @we-were-beautiful

[i05wook]

lay your head on my shoulder - sung hanbin

pairing: best friend! Sung Hanbin x gn! reader

genre: fluff, angst, comfort, childhood best friend, non idol au

warnings: crying, Hanbin picks reader up, stress, anxiety, reader is the same age as Hanbin. 

wc: 803

author’s notes: I just found this drafted up in my notes from two years ago!! I decided to edit it further and write it for the one and only Sung Hanbin!! 

It was finally a Saturday evening, which could only mean one thing; it was time for your weekly sleepover with Hanbin. The weekly sleepover was something that had begun not long after you guys had turned five, with your parents being friends you and Hanbin were destined to become best friends. 

You’d been stressed out by the upcoming university exams so a sleepover with Hanbin was something much needed (even though you had one the week before). Sleepovers usually just consisted of destressing from the whole week, and updating each other on anything new in your lives all while cuddling together on either of your beds. Since the age of five, the pair of you were used to sharing a bed at these sleepovers and it was no different now, 17 years later. 

Every week, you would hang out with Hanbin’s sister as well, baking delicious sweet treats, before you and Hanbin headed off to his room to enjoy them and your delicious takeaway that you picked up on the way to his house. Hours passed with the two of you cuddling and watching kdramas. 

Having had a day full of classes and assignments, Hanbin was exhausted to say the least. In fact he was so exhausted, he quite literally fell asleep within the first ten minutes of the latest series you were watching together. It was almost midnight so it was understandable, however even after laying in the dark for what seemed like an eternity, you were still laying wide awake. 

You rolled over to check the time on your phone which lay on the bedside table. The clock read that it was around three in the morning. You quietly and slowly shuffled out of the bed and headed down stairs, hoping to make a warm mug of cocoa to coax yourself into sleeping whilst watching whatever random show was on at this time on a low volume. 

For what felt like only a half hour you sat on Hanbin’s couch in the living room, wrapped up in a blanket that you had found on the back of the couch. The mug of warm cocoa lukewarm but almost gone, however sleep was still avoiding your very soul. You were focused on the kids show that had just started on the television that when you felt a hand gently rest on your shoulder, it startled your poor soul. You turned behind you to see the figure who rested their hand on you - it was Hanbin with an adorable sleepy smile gracing his natural lightly blushed face. 

As soon as you turned around to face him, his smile dropped and a look of worry replaced it. He rushed from the back of the couch to crouch in front of you. “Hey bubs, what's wrong? Why are you crying?” He asked, the worried tone evident in his voice. You hadn’t even noticed you had been crying until he mentioned it, but now you could feel just how dried out your eyes were and how stiff your face felt. You looked past his crouched figure to the time displayed on the microwave, which read 06:13. From your estimations, that meant you had been crying for around three hours. 

With the peachy skies becoming more prominent as the minutes passed, the look of pure exhaustion and dejection also became more prominent to Hanbin. Both of you had an unspoken agreement that if the other was sad or tired, you were to give them a hug and transfer any good vibes and positive energies to the other through such physical contact.

Hanbin immediately wrapped you tighter in the blanket, and his arms before picking you up in the bundle you were already in and carrying you up to his room. He placed you gently down on the bed, telling you to stay out for the next five minutes while he disappeared. 

After the five minutes passed, Hanbin’s hands came from behind the door first, each holding a mug of presumably hot cocoa. He placed one in your hands before walking around to the other side of the bed and placing his on the table before settling in next to you. He shuffled closer to you and lay your head on his shoulder whilst you drank your cocoa. There was something about his caring presence and the warm cocoa, that you began to fall asleep, mug still in hand. As soon as he noticed, he removed the cup from your grasp and gently slid you both down the bed, you head now laying on his chest as he turned his bedside lamp off and tucked the blanket around you as best as he could with one arm. 

The steady beat of his heart lulled you into a sleep where you finally felt safe away from all your anxieties.

status: open 

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