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lombredanslaeu · 4 years ago

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𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒎𝒑 𝒅𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒔 | jung jaehyun.

plot: the story of jung jaehyun and the implications of his relationship with the ceo’s daughter - all the saccharine, the bitter, and the sour. word count 7405

genre: angst, fluff

warnings: curse words

playlist: the louvre lorde | hard feelings lorde | the girl city & colour | i dont wanna be okay without you charlie bug

this isn’t proofread, so i apologize for any mistakes. feedback is highly appreciated, it motivates me to write more. <3

“Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are: “It might have been.” - Kurt Vonnegut

Contrary to the public belief, the daughter of one of the biggest entertainment companies in the country isn’t as snippy and snobby as the world pictures her to be. Growing up, you never failed to respect everyone, regardless of their social status. That’s why the world seemed to be in shock when a photo of you, Doyoung, and Johnny spread like wildfire all over social networking sites.

“Why are people so in shock about me being friends with you guys?” You inquired, shoving a spoon of cheesecake to your mouth.

“They’re probably wondering why the hell you’re friends with losers like us.” Johnny replied.

“Oh yeah, that’s probably it.” You agreed. Johnny faked a hurting face, causing everyone in the room to burst into small laughters and smiles.

A swing of the dorm’s door revealed three more of the boys. Mark Lee, Kim Jungwoo, and Jung Jaehyun. How do you begin with Jung Jaehyun?

Everyone fawned over the boy. Who wouldn’t? With a cherub face and charming smile, anyone would fall head over heels over Jaehyun. You blamed his looks, you blamed his voice, and you blamed Doyoung for pointing everything Jaehyun did excellently. You blamed everything else but yourself for having a stupid crush on the boy.

“Oh, I bought you guys cheesecake.” You smiled at the newcomers.

“You’re heaven-sent, Y/N!” Jungwoo exclaimed.

“Thanks, Y/N.” Jaehyun said, with that godly smile that he always wore. You smiled off the racing beats of your heart, concious that Doyoung or Johnny might notice your sudden tension.

Unbeknowsnt to you, one of them already knows. And he has a plan to accomplish.

The warm sun was normally a pleasant thing for you. However, your lack of sleep and rest the previous night was overtaking your personality today. The busy chatters of the students that walk through the premises of Seoul National University fileld your ears. It was a normal day - lectures, presentations, and countless pages to read. You’re already on your third year of college, you should have been used to this by now. Another misconception about you is that you don’t have a personal driver to drive you to and from places; heck, you don’t even own your own car yet. You don’t do it very often but you bratty side is cursing your parents for trying to make you live independently. You made a mental note to complain to them later that night.

A resounding beep from your phone made you halt your walk.

Jung Jaehyun (SM): Hey! Are you around SNU right now?

That’s weird. You thought. It was actually more new than weird. Sure, you and Jaehyun are friends but you don’t think you’ve already reached the level of texting each other all of a sudden.

You: Yeah! Do you need anything?

Jung Jaehyun: I’m actually quite lost.

Jung Jaehyun: Doyoung told me to buy something from this home depot around SNU.

Jung Jaehyun: Do you know where Rosé Palace is?

You chuckled at his sentiment. Your palms sweat by the fact that you just might see him today. You didn’t look your best at this very moment, you didn’t feel the need to fix yourself since your main plan for today was just go to school.

You: I know where that is. Where are you right now?

Jung Jaehyun: I’m here near the musuem.

After a few walks and turns, you found the poor man. He wore all black clothing, with a mask and a bucket hat probably to hide his identity.

“Hey, I’m sorry for being a bother.” He apologized.

“Oh, no! It’s okay! I was done with school anyway.” You quickly respond. “Rosé Palace is actually very near here.”

“Oh, is it?” Jaehyun spoke. “I’m sorry, I really should have just tried finding it instead of bothering you.”

“Stop, it’s really not a problem.” You assured him.

You expected the walk to the location to be awkward. After all, you and Jaehyun doesn’t talk much. He would only ever talk to you whenever someone is also in the conversation.

“Do you live around SNU?” Jaehyun asked.

“Nope,” You answered. “I live at my parent’s home. I don’t dorm here.”

“Really? Do you commute?”

“I actually do.”

“You’re not scared?”

“Not a lot of people know who I am, Jaehyun. They just see me as another tired, college girl.”

“Must be nice not having people know who you are.” His tone seemed down and almost envious.

“Hey, you should be happy people know your name.” You said. “I could probably die right now and no one would bat an eye until they find out I’m a daughter of a CEO.”

“That’s not true!” He spoke. “I’d bat an eye!”

You laughed at him. “Of course, you would.”

Jaehyun emitted a soft chuckle. You were definitely not someone he would casually walk around with. He didn’t think he was worthy of your time, anyway. But then again, you’re friends with every single of the members so you’re probably very nice. And right now, he proved that hypothesis correct. He silently thanked Doyoung for asking him to buy those set of plates for his mother’s birthday.

The next time you and Jaehyun hung out was during one of the company gatherings. According to Taeyong, “you spent so much time with Jaehyun that Doyoung and Johnny got jealous.” You never realized that yourself. One topic in a conversation led to another and before you know it, the gathering is about to end and you still haven’t spared any of the members a glance.

“Is your dad okay with you being so close with Jaehyun?” Doyoung asked.

“Why would he not be okay with that?” You answered his question with another question. “He seems to be okay with me being close friends with all of you.”

“Hmm, yeah,” Johnny trailed. “Sure, that’s the situation here.”

You only looked at him with confusion drawn all over your face.

“Do I sense some sarcasm on your tone?”

“What? Sarcasm? Fuck no!”

II.

It was during their live online concert that Jaehyun realized. In front of them are hundred of pixelated screens, some more distorted than the others. And yet, he still saw you, he still recognized you with a blink of an eye. You’re in a small screen almost at the edge. The other members didn’t notice you, they probably didn’t even know you were attending. He saw you, amongst the landscape of faces, he saw you. That’s when he realized. Jaehyun swallowed a small smile, fearing that Yuta, who’s arm is draped over Jaehyun’s shoulder, would sense something.

This isn’t the first time he realized that he was in love you. It was probably when he kissed you for the first time and the next time, and the next time.

“You love kissing me, don’t you?” You whispered against his lips.

The two of you did not even make it to bed when you decided to lock your lips together for the nth time that night.

“I do.” He replied. “How about you?”

“I love everything that you do to me.”

The night grew feverish. The two of you still hasn’t talked about the current status of whatever relationship you both have. You act like lovers but never brought it upon yourselves to admit that you’re smitten. Maybe Jaehyun felt embarrassed that he was the first to fall in love you. He probably will never admit that soon. The fear of nothing having his feelings reciprocated was bubbling inside him. However, the answers are right in front of his eyes. You have an exam tomorrow but instead of buring your eyebrows to study, you’re here between his arms, making out with him.

He didn’t know if it was love. He doesn’t like anything else about you except for your smile, your eyes, your angelic laughter, and the way he feels whenever you’re around. He feels at peace, he feels as if his feet are in the clouds. They could disperse any moment, causing him plummet to the ground. But he has no intention of going elsewhere. If falling to rock bottom would be caused by you, he would be more than willing to experience that.

Oh yeah, I’m in love. The only thought that lingered on his mind until he saw you in person again.

“Nice job tonight, Jae.” Your honey voice immersed from the speakers of Jaehyun’s phone.

“You actually watched.”

“Of course, I would. How could I miss that?” You chuckled, awakening the annoying butterflies inside Jaehyun’s veins.

A muffled clinking of glass could be heard through Jaehyun’s end. “Are you guys drinking?”

“Perhaps?” Jaehyun smiled through his response. Johnny and Taeyong’s loud bickering confirmed your suspicion.

“Celebrating the concert?”

“We’re not drinking.”

“Okay, I believe you.” It was your turn to smile at his silliness.

There was a brief moment of silence between you two. You could hear the faint breathing of Jaehyun and for a minute, you might have believed he fell asleep on you. A soft giggle proved you wrong. Just the mere fact of having you on the other side of the line was enough to make Jaehyun turn soft.

There was a loud argument inside his head. His job is unforgiving especially in terms of forming a romantic relationship with someone. If making friendships with others idols would be a walk on broken glass, what more could a romantic relationship be? The fact that you’re also the daughter of his boss didn’t help with his dilemma at all. It could either break his career or your relationship with your father. Jaehyun isn’t afraid of taking risk, yet somehow, he was scared of making another step towards you. When he realized that he was helplessly in love with you, he became scared of ever seeing you again. But despite it all, he still managed to say the worst thing he could have told you that night: “I’m in love with you.”

III.

You had every chance to realize. Each time he would stretch his schedule to make a spot for you, even every time he would spam your messages just to ask if you’ve made it home safely. You were not new to dating bans being imposed of idols. Although your father never directly imposed such thing to his recent employees, you knew full well not to meddle with the busy and demanding life of an idol. So, Jaehyun was a problem.

Another one of your problems was when Jaehyun kissed you for the first time the other night. You didn’t know what lead him to do such thing and to be frank, Jaehyun didn’t know what came to him either.

Normally, the secluded and narrow walkway you and Jaehyun are currently walking on would send chills through your spine. The comforting feeling of having someone beside you, and thankfully it’s Jung Jaehyun, made you feel safe despite the thrilling nature of the walkway. The tiring activities of moving in your stuff to your new apartment lingered through your bones.

“Do you always come walk here after school?” He asked, his breath forming smoke in the cold air.

“I do,” You answered. Jaehyun spun his head towards with a face full of worry. “I never leave school very late anyway. In daylight, this place is filled with people so it’s not that scary.”

Your information made Jaehyun release a sigh of relief. Good to know that he won’t need to worry as much about you walking this scary place at this time of the night.

“Thanks for helping me move my stuff to my apartment.” You spoke.

“It’s my pleasure to help you in all kinds of things.”

Heat formed in your cheeks. If you’re not wearing a thick scarf around your neck, you’re sure Jaehyun would notice the small smile you have.

“Hey,” His gloved hand touched your forearm briefly to call your attention. “It still wonders me how we never hung out before.”

“We just never had the chance I guess?” You shrugged.

Before you was a beautiful piece of art. You wondered how someone so charming and handsome could even exist. Not a single flaw was present in Jaehyun’s appearance, meanwhile you could list ten things you wish you could change about the way you look in an instant. You didn’t feel worthy of his attention. You spent a good 30 seconds just staring at him and he did the same.

“Can I do something?” Jaehyun asked, swallowing a lump in his throat.

“Sure.”

Jaehyun leaned down to meet your face. Placing a hand behind your neck, his lips joined yours. Oh my god, Jung Jaehyun is kissing me!

It took a second or two for you to reciprocate the kiss. His lips felt cold but what made you shiver was the booming feeling in your chest. The kiss wasn’t lustful, it was a steady and endearing kiss. He pulled away after a moment. In his face was the cute smile and a set of dimples.

“I want to hang out with you for the rest of my life.” He said.

“I want to hang out with you too, for as long as you want me to be.”

It also didn’t help that you’ve only came to terms with your feelings just recently. Behind your laptop was a pile of readings waiting to be read. University was your top priority yet, here you are. Looking immensely through your laptop screen with the whole universe in your eyes. That was when you realized. You were willing to put Jaehyun above anything else in your life.

You and Jaehyun was undeniably spending a lot of time with each other. It surprised you that no fans or news outlet has caught you and Jaehyun strolling around the city. You enjoyed being outside, you loved the city and everything that came with it. Jaehyun knew full well not to spend so much time outside with his manager. But, he could never say no to your requests. He don’t why either. Whenever he risked getting caught just to spend time with you, the universe has given multiple chances to realize how you felt about him. Unfortunately, oblivion has spread all over your system like a poison. It was only until tonight that you finally got the taste of the antidote.

You knew the consequences, you knew the implications. He was drunk and you knew full well that there’s a chance he might not meant what he said.

“I’m in love with you as well, Jae.”

IV.

The gloomy atmosphere of the skies mimicked how you felt that day. Your eyes lingered on your phone screen, it has been that way for about 30 minutes now.

Dad: No one can know about you and Jaehyun. Not even the members.

You were doubting the relationship yourself. Was this a good decision? Jaehyun never made your relationship feel like a mistake. Yet, here you are, thinking that what if being with Jaehyun was nothing but a mistake. You never meant for your parents to find out. However, it would dumb of you to think that you could keep this from them forever, or at least until Jaehyun retires.

“I expected you to know how complicated dating is in the industry.” Your father’s voice wasn’t loud but it was chilling and stern.

“Of course, I know that-” You started.

“Then, why did I wake up this morning bombarded with the news that you and Jaehyun are dating?”

You couldn’t answer him. You knew from the start the complications of your relationship with Jaehyun. There was fear and anxiety bubbling in your heart; and beneath it all, there was a small tinge of regret. That growing seed of regret was something you decided to shrug off. You would never admit to anyone that you felt that way.

“Jaehyun is one of my most popular idol.” Your father spoke again. “If the fans repulse him, my stocks could be damaged.”

You kept your head low. “I understand.”

“I’m not asking you to break up with him.” He announced, causing to look up at him. “But if I receive a news article about the two of you, you know what to expect.”

The leaves grew heavy as the raindrops drenched them. Suddenly, a warm pair of arms snuggled you close to their person.

“I don’t want to leave you while you’re this upset.” Jaehyun whispered.

“Don’t worry about me, babe.” You said. “I’ll be fine soon.”

You heard him drop a heavy sigh. Jaehyun was struggling as well. The last thing you want to do was to bring more stress on him.

“I want to go to Paris too.” You suddenly spoke.

“It baffles me how someone from a rich family as you has never been to Paris.” He said, rubbing comforting circles on your exposed arms.

“My family doesn’t like going out of the country.”

“I wish I could take you to Paris with me.”

“No.” You sat up a little. “This is your time to have fun with your fans and the guys. I know my parents has been really stressful for the both of us.”

“I don’t care about the world as long as you’re with me, Y/N.”

You stared at him for a moment. Before you know it, your lips were entangled with his. The sweet taste of Jaehyun and the bitter reality of your family made you press into him a little harder. Jaehyun wrapped his arms tightly around you as he savored every flavor of you that he could taste right now.

Under his heavy breathing, he spoke, “Promise me something?”

“What?”

“Be with me always, Y/N.” He said, with every bit of love and pleading that he could ever give. Tears were starting to burn in your eyes. You weren’t planning to spend this day with him crying.

“I promise, Jaehyun.” You responded, offering every ounce of sincerity you have in you. “Can you promise me that as well?”

“I could only show you once we get there, Y/N.” He replied. “Even if we won’t be together tomorrow, go to Paris ten years from now and see for yourself if I uphold my side of the promise.”

Many people have told you that love isn’t always pink skies and candy hearts. But, it sure as hell not sitting behind a computer screen, watching your boyfriend flirt with other idols. You sighed and close your eyes.

It’s okay, Y/N. He’s just putting up the facade that he’s single and ready to mingle. You’ve been dating him for almost two years now, get used to it.

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe he’s just dating you to secure a place in the group?” Areum said. Areum is one of your closest college friends, the only person you shared your secret with. She was trustworthy, you’re willing to testify with that. However, came with her loyal and reliable aspect was the fact that she’s so fucking straightforward. She just have the ability to sense bullshit from anyone and she’s not afraid on waking people up.

You scoff. Half you wants her to be wrong and the other believed her.

“No, he’s not.” You said. “Why would you even think that?”

“I just got the vibe.” She shrugged her shoulders. “You don’t have to fully believe what I say, Y/N.”

“Damn, if you don’t like him for me, you could have just told me directly.”

“It’s not that I don’t like him for you, Y/N.” Areum’s tone was more serious now. “I care for you. I know that people can manipulate you in every way that they can to get on your good side.”

“Stop accusing Jaehyun of such things.”

It was safe to say that you’ve gone cold to Areum after that conversation. You hated that she might be right but you’re too full of pride to even admit that. But you know Jaehyun better than Areum knows him.

You tried. You tried to forget what Areum said. But the thought still lingers inside your head and now everything that Jaehyun did made you wonder if he’s doing it to stay secured in the company. You don’t have the power that your father has but he’s dating his boss’ daughter and you have a great influence on your dad’s decisions.

“You should have called me to let me know you were working late.” You said, frustration clear in your voice. It’s already an hour before midnight and you have not heard from Jaehyun until the moment he knocked on your apartment door. Ever since you moved in two years ago, Jaehyun has been spending a lot of nights there; he unofficialy lives there. His managers would have been pissed off by now but then, again, you are their boss’ daughter.

“The comeback is almost near.” He said, replicating your frustration. “You should have known that work will be tight now.”

“You could have sent me a simple text so I don’t have to worry where you are.”

“You don’t have to worry where I am, Y/N.” His tone was grim. “Do you really expect me to send you a text while I’m busy? I could have finish so much during the time I’m texting you.”

You took a sharp and deep breath. The anger and hurt were like tornados revolving deep inside you. It was normal for couples to fight but the frustration seems to build up one fight after another. Some days, you just wanted to fight with him. You don’t know what’s the reason or excuse for your sudden urge to form an argument with Jaehyun.

“I asked you to start the kettle for me.” He said. Now, his eyebrows were furrowed in clear frustration and his lips rid of their usual sweetness. His hand holding up the cold kettle.

“I’m sorry, I must have forgotten.” You said, your voice was low but it didn’t sound weak.

“I asked you to do one little thing for me, Y/N.” The loud bang of the kettle hitting the stove made you jump. Your heart raced at the sudden noise but it didn’t diminish your anger.

“And I asked you to do one little thing for me as well.” You fight back.

“Asking me to update you all the time is not a little thing.”

“All I’m asking is for you to take maybe a minute to text me where you are!” You roared. “I’ve been worried sick about where you are!”

“You know I’m just in the building, right?” He retorted. “Why? Do you expect me to be elsewhere?”

“Are you implying that I think you’re cheating?” You said, with a small laugh.

“Why else would you be so worried about where I am when you fully know I’m working?” He kept answering you with a question and it was getting tiring.

“I never said anything about you being unfaithful.” You stated. “Why are you getting so defensive all of a sudden? Is there a reason for me to be thinking that?”

“You’re unbelievable, Y/N. Out of all the things I’ve risked for you.” Jaehyun shook his head. “You’re unbelievable and ungrateful.”

The words stung. It was like Cupid shot a salty arrow towards the wound in your chest. He think you’re ungrateful. For a moment, you blamed yourself. Maybe, I am ungrateful and unreasonable. And before you could think about what to say, you said the words you were going to regret for the rest of your life.

“You know, I think you’re only dating me to keep a place in the company.”

You had to reason to say that. It was a sudden burst of the moment and you immediately regret it. Jaehyun gave you no reason to even think that. Your insecurity and fear got in you and you were on the brink of ruining everything. How did it come to this? You were about to retract your statement when Jaehyun turned his back against you for the first time in his life.

VI.

A penthouse was definitely too much for you. You never called it a penthouse though, you’ve always called it your apartment. It was great, finally moving out of your parents’ house even if it’s literally just ten minutes away. Everywhere you look, it reminds you of Jaehyun. He helped you move in everything and helped you settle in. The first few nights when you couldn’t sleep because everything was new and overwhelming, he was there to sing you your favorite The Smiths song. He didn’t know the lyrics at first so he just hummed the tune. He was sure he was doing it out of tune but he tried for you. The penthouse was big yet it was suffocating; but Jaehyun was there. It felt safe, it felt like home. You could sleep on the streets and you would still feel at peace as long as he’s there beside you.

Jaehyun couldn’t sleep either. You hurt him but he wasn’t going to deny that he hurt you too. And that’s the last thing he wants to do to you. Why did he turn his back when he knows that you’re just tired and worried? But why did you doubt him when you know he’s only doing his job as an idol? Jaehyun’s eyes immediately landed on the peach plush toy that you gave him for no reason, and then to the Franklin Wilson vinyl record that you spent so much money on. Most of the gifts you gave him, you gave him for no reason - not on an anniversary or on his birthday. You would just randomly give him something sometimes. Above all, you gave him immense love. You could date anyone you want, someone who is of great power and wealth. Yet, you decided to love him. When he’s with you, he’s devoid of all the consequences of the world. He forgot what aching felt like to the point that he forgot that the word exists.

But right now, it all aches.

“I said I’m sorry, Jaehyun.” Your voice was paired with the painful tears that streamed your voice.

“Come on, Y/N, stop crying.” He pleaded, his own tears falling from his eyes. You crying pained Jaehyun so much, the fact that he was the reason behind it didn’t help either. All he wanted to do right now was to hug you, console you that he’s sorry and he didn’t meant it when he said he wanted to break up.

“I want someone who would never doubt my intentions of loving them.” He said through his tears. “I thought you were that someone.”

“Is there anything I could do to change your mind?”

Jaehyun shook his head, each turn tearing your heart apart. You blamed no one but yourself. If only you didn’t say those words. You wanted to beg but your sobs were choking your words, as if it knows better than to say something in fear that you’ll fuck everything up again.

Jaehyun didn’t care about what vengeance you would do. He knows you so well and he knew you wouldn’t do that to him. But, in a way, he wanted you to do to that to him. He wanted you to tell your father to fire him, kick him out of the company. He wanted that so that he can know you can feel better after having your heart broken by him. He wanted that so that he can be assured that you can finally be at peace. Yet, he knew you very well. What bothered him the most was what you’ll do to yourself. Will you drown yourself in tears and neglect your health & well-being? Will you start flunking in university? It worried him and he hated the fact that he needed to end the greatest thing in his life to avoid hurting you in the future.

Areum was quick on her feet to rush to your apartment after hearing the news.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” She quickly said.

You only hugged her. Letting your tears and sobs fall all over again.

“I’m sorry I even said those things about him.” She said. A part of you wanted to blame her but you saw the bigger picture. You chose to let those words stick to you and ended up hurting Jaehyun. And Jaehyun has better things to do than to be kept down by a relationship. You knew he was begging to be freed without him realizing that.

VII.

The first time you saw Jaehyun was five months after your break up. Their recent comeback was a success and due to that, the company held a mini party to celebrate the boys’ hardwork. You shouldn’t have come but the pleading eyes of Doyoung and Johnny gave you no choice. They promised to keep you away from Jaehyun throughout the whole night. You doubted the plan first hand since you know Johnny and Jaehyun are drinking buddies. When there is alchohol, you best believe the two would be inseperable through the night.

Due to Mark Lee’s request, a karaoke console was present in the party. Taeil and Haechan were quick to have a duet before anyone else. They wanted to “bless the night with their voice.” You chuckled at their crazy antics. You definitely missed everyone. Ever since the break up, you focused more on your studies and in a few weeks, you’re off to graduate. The boys never failed to communicate with you through messages and video calls, but you never saw them as often as you used to do.

“Okay, everyone!” Mark screamed through the mic of the karaoke machine. “It’s my time to shine!”

You settled in a spot beside Jungwoo who offered you another cup of beer. The soft, mellow tune of the song began along with the title on the screen: “Leaves” by Ben & Ben. You heard Mark play this song in one of the lives he bugged you to watch in support. You never heard the first song and you didn’t really hear the song clearly in his live. But judging by the instrumentals, you conluded that it might be sad.

“And in the end, can you tell me if it was worth the try so I can decide,” Mark sang. His voice was heavenly but his tipsy nature made it funny.

You knew you weren’t supposed to be in this party. You already regret so many things in your life and now you’re adding this party to that list.

“Oh, you never really love someone until, you learn to forgive.”

Has Jaehyun forgiven you? The question suddenly came up as Mark sang that line. You felt like you don’t have the right to say that you’ve forgiven him. What did he do to you that would require forgiveness? Nothing. He needed to break away and that’s not a sin to anyone. You wondered if he has forgiven you - for doubting him and for making him feel like his love wasn’t enough. You wanted to punch yourself as you swallow the beer in hopes that it will kill the heartache.

Has she forgiven me? That question floats in Jaehyun’s mind even before the party. A love like yours was not something that is easy to forget. Jaehyun doesn’t think he could ever forget you or what your love felt like. It made his heels touch the sky and his fingertips reach the stars. He doesn’t know if you have forgiven him, for breaking your heart and for not giving it another try. Perhaps, he will never know the answer until the day he die.

The song has reached it’s climax. A series of “All will be alright in time” sung by Mark filled the ears of the listeners as the crowd grew silent, savoring the song. A voice inside of you asked you look at Jaehyun for the first time tonight. It’s been five months and being without him is enough punishment for you. You were going to give yourself the pleasure of looking at his face once again. He was five people away but, thankfully, you can still see him clearly. His head swayed lightly to the song before turning his head towards yours - not because your gaze burns but because he wanted to see your face again.

“Oh, you never really love someone until, you learn to forgive.”

The ending instrumentals played right after. As if living through the song, you offered him a small smile. Without thinking twice, he did the same.

That’s the answer to both of your questions.

The balcony of their dorms gave you a full view of the sleeping city. The faint sound of “Psycho” by Red Velvet crept it’s way from the dorm to the balcony. The sound became clear for a moment, an indication that someone opened the balcony door and closed it.

Jaehyun stood beside you, savoring the cold, night wind. You were both quiet.

“Can I hold you?” He suddenly asked.

You turned to him with confusion. You didn’t know why he would ask you that all of a sudden.

“Please?” He begged. “Before we admit that it’s done?”

Before you know it, your arms are wrapped around his torso for the last time.

VIII.

The busy streets of the city became a lullaby to you. After graduating from college, you interned in one of the top architectural firms in the country. You gained your architecture license after two years but you never left the firm. Unlike your father, you’re not really the leader or boss type. You enjoyed working for and with others. The company felt like a small family. It was very exclusive so they don’t really have a lot of core members; to be amongst them was a privilege in itself. The senior architect, Nayeon, was busy today so she sent you to present the design you both proposed for one of your clients. You never met the client personally or even knew their names as this was your first initial meeting.

The sweet smell of croissants filled your nostrils as you entered the meeting place. The client requested to hold the meeting in a luxurious cafe just a few minutes away from your office. This client must be really rich to waste time on a meeting in a cafe like this. The wide array of the pastries brought back your childhood memories as your mother would bring you home croissants from this place before.

Along with your childhood memories, a familiar yet dear face looked up from their seat. It was no one else but Jung Jaehyun, still beautiful even after all these years.

Oh, isn’t life just really tender on me?

“Hey,” You greeted.

“Hey,” he replied.

There was awkwardness, of course. But you needed to be professional, after all it’s been eight years.

“Im Nayeon couldn’t make it today so I’m here on her behalf.” You stated. “Hope that’s okay for you?”

“Of course,” Jaehyun replied. Standing up to offer you a seat. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

You cleared your throat. You wanted to get out of there quickly so you immediately brought out the papers.

“Do you want something to drink?” He asked.

“No, thank you.” You declined with a smile.

Jaehyun felt foreign. It seems like he doesn’t know who you are anymore. Well, after all, it has been eight years. You’ve grown into someone he’s unfamiliar with.

As you present your plans, Jaehyun couldn’t help but drift in his own thoughts. He wondered about what might have been. If things didn’t end up the way that they did, where would the both of you be right now? He wanted to marry you. He would look at you every night and think to himself that this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. Feelings change and so does what people think about others but he still wondered what would have been if he didn’t give up so easily.

But maybe, if the both of you held on that night, it could lead to even more damaging things. Jaehyun assured himself that he made the right decision instead of waiting for things to get worse. At least, right now, he has the ability to see you without resentment from either sides. That’s good enough for him.

“Thank you, my wife will definitely love that.” He commented.

Your heart sank at his statement. Of course, he’s married now. A beautiful creature like him would have no problems finding a partner. You didn’t know you hold hope in your heart right before it crashed down because of the sudden news. You were foolish in thinking that there could still be a chance.

“Your design is amazing, Y/N.” He said.

“Thank you,” You replied. “I’m glad that you like it.”

“I expected nothing but excellence from you. Of course, I would love it.”

You smiled at his words. Jaehyun never failed to make you feel appreciated. You’re bittersweet at the fact that another woman would feel appreciated everything, and that woman is not you. You remembered the late nights where you conclude that you would have this man for the rest of your life. All of that are a distant memory now, along with his touch and kisses.

The both of you are two different people now but you know, and Jaehyun knew, the love is still there. Maybe the romance already left, but the love and genuine care was still evergreen. And you both know that it will never die for as long as the two of you live.

IX.

There are a lot of things that you regret in your life. Most of the time, you don’t want to change the past. Even if a lot of things made you want to crash and burn, it still formed you into someone you never knew you could become. This was your first time in Paris, France. The wealth and fame you accumulated over the past years of your life as an architect gave you all the opportunities to get to this very place. However, you made no efforts in landing here. Not until it reached the ten year mark.

You still remembered the promise. But the other party is still not present and it’s almost nearing midnight. You didn’t want to regret every coming here so you decided to relax and make this all about you.

“You remembered.” A voice spoke behind you. The chattering of people that laid in picnics under the Eiffel Tower were still loud despite the time.

Jaehyun is here. He remembered.

“You remembered.” You said back. Your eyes still covered with bewilder, almost not believing that Jaehyun is in front of you, keeping his side of the promise.

“How could I forget?” Jaehyun said, almost in a whisper. “How could I forget you?”

You did nothing but smile at him, with all the love remaining in your heart - all the love that will never go away no matter how much you try.

“Do you ever wondered what could have been if things didn’t go the way that they did?” You asked, looking up at the tall, iron tower.

“All the time.” He replied.

“How’s Chaeyoung and the kids?”

“They’re very well.” He replied with a nod. “How about Eunwoo?”

“He’s doing fine too. He’s currently in Germany with his family.” You answered.

“Ah, I’m glad my wish came true.” He said.

“Wish?”

“Yeah,” He turned his head in your direction. “My wish that you find someone who will love you better than I did.”

“You wished that?” You asked in disbelief.

“I actually didn’t wish it,” He said. “I knew that the universe made someone out there to love someone as beautiful as you.”

“Oh, stop it.” You blushed. You felt guilty that another man, specifically your ex, was making you blush.

“So, this is my proof when I promised you that I will always be here.” Jaehyun whispered.

“And me being here is my proof that I meant when I said that I want to hang out with you for as long as you want me to be.” You replied.

The night was young and alive, so is the love you have for each other. A love that, unfortunately, neither of you could ever express ever again.

#jung jaehyun #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun smut #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun angst #jung jaehyun au #jung yoonoh #nct scenarios #nct x reader #nct imagines #nct 127 #nct au #nct jaehyun #nct jaehyun imagines #nct jaehyun x reader

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olivia-anderson-fanfic · 4 years ago

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A Miraculous TikTok Account

Part 7

First

Five people. There were five people in this group.

So why could NONE OF THEM drive?!

Carapace hadn’t been expecting the rich kids to know to drive. Knowing them, they probably had chauffeurs who did it for them or whatever.

But Rena? Ladybug?!

He groaned and struggled to rub his eyes through his mask. It was too early for this.

It was a good thing all of them were fit, because the nearest Home Depot was ages away.

When they got there they decided it was best to just go in a group. Mostly because Chat was still only about half awake and someone (Ladybug) needed to push him around in a cart, but also because they all wanted to have some kind of input about how the board looked.

Carapace took out his phone.

The whole point of the ‘living together’ thing was so they could convince the public they were friends, he might as well get content that made them look like they actually got along.

The first part of the video was Chat, slumped over the front of the cart, face drawn in a sleepy smile, practically purring (actually WAS that purring? Carapace was pretty sure it was...). The camera then panned to Ladybug, who was casually throwing the items they chose at him in attempts to wake them up.

Yes, this included the giant board they were going to use to tack different things on.

No, that didn’t wake him up.

But, then, a few minutes later, he started filming again.

Chloe smiled for the camera. “Testing what can wake up our resident idiot. Trial One!”

She kicked the cart as hard as she could and sent it rolling into a wall.

Chat snored on.

Rena frowned. “Isn’t that more trial two? Ladybug throwing things was trial one.”

“Don’t rope me into this,” said Ladybug without looking up from the two different thumb tacks. She clicked her tongue and held them up for Carapace. “Glittery or not glittery?”

Carapace raised his eyebrows. “Uh… anyone gonna check on him?”

“I’ve watched him fall three stories and say ‘it’s fine’. Now, glittery or not glittery?”

Carapace opened his mouth, then shook his head. It wasn’t worth it. “Not glittery.”

“... I’ve decided you’re not allowed to have an opinion.”

“Then why would you --?!”

Rena held up a hand. “She’s right. You don’t get a say in this.”

“I --?!”

“Hey, Queen Bee, noise usually gets him up.”

“Genius!” Chloe snatched the glittery thumb tacks from Ladybug. “Trial three!”

She walked over to Chat and rattled the box by his ear. There was a shrieking noise and the camera barely caught a flicker of black before the entire cart tipped over and spilled it’s contents (including a very frazzled Chat Noir) onto the floor.

There was a short silence as the miraculous holders and the staff members who had been unfortunate enough to be scheduled for work that day processed what had just happened.

And then Ladybug doubled over laughing.

“Oh my kwami I’m so -- pftHAHAHA -- I’ll help clean up I… I just --” She giggled a little more and held up a finger for a moment as she tried to pull herself together. “One -- heheheh -- sec.”

The camera panned away from her to zoom in on Chat Noir’s pout for a brief second before it cut.

All the heroes helped clean up. Obviously. They were heroes.

Once they were done with their cleaning and fifty million apologies, they went back to shopping.

Chat was still in the cart but, after being woken up twice in the same day to the worst sounds his fellow miraculous holders could think of, he was wide awake.

“Guys, it’s Hawkmoth, we have to do purple!”

“No, that’s what he’d want us to do. Go the whole other way and do yellow.”

“Of course you would say that, Bee.”

“What’s that supposed to --?”

Ladybug held her hands up. “Guys, compromise. They’re complimentary colors. We can use both.”

The other three looked at her like she was insane.

Ladybug clicked her tongue and looked over at Carapace. “Are you going to weigh in on this?”

“No. I’d prefer not to get into… whatever this is.”

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Greeeat. Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Ladybug turned to give a tired glare to the three in front of her. “Fine. Fine! I’m deciding. We’re doing purple.”

“But --!” Started Chloe.

“Nope.”

“I --!” Tried Chat.

“Shhhhhhh. It’s decided. Purple.”

There was a little bit of grumbling, but Chloe and Chat did end up putting the yellow back.

Still, the discontent didn’t last long. Partially because it’s Paris and no one is allowed to be annoyed for over five minutes, but also because they all quickly got into choosing different things for the board.

Carapace kind of hung back for this part, because he couldn’t help but cringe whenever Chat or Chloe put something in the cart without looking at the price tags.

(What if Master Fu didn’t count this as a necessary expense? He probably would, and if he didn’t one of the rich kids would end up paying, but… it was still weird to see how careless they were with money.)

Part of him wondered what people thought about their group as they made their way through the store. A group of teenagers, all dressed in varying aesthetics from ‘literally woke up this way’ (Carapace) to ‘oh wow is that child a lawyer’ (Ladybug) to ‘I don’t care about how this looks as long as you know I’m rich’ (Chloe). They didn’t really look like the kind of people who would hang out together...

They were also all wearing masks, that had to be pretty shady.

Actually, now that he was paying attention, he noticed that quite a bit of staff seemed to be watching them.

He tried to tell himself that it was just because they’d made a mess earlier.

He knew that likely wasn’t it.

Carapace instinctively pulled his hoodie lower over his face, sinking into the green fabric. He sped up a little to walk closer to his housemates.

They had stopped to look at different borders.

Chloe was frowning. “ -- which one to choose, they’re all so ugly…”

“We could make our own…?” Said Chat.

“Or, consider, we don’t waste all our time making sure it looks good?” Said Rena.

“We’re not going to get much information for a while, we might as well use our time doing something,” said Chloe.

Rena winced. “Please don’t say that.”

Carapace raised his eyebrows. That was odd. Why was she so determined, anyways?

He shrugged it off. Maybe she just wanted to question Hawkmoth. He wouldn’t put it past her.

His eyes slid over the group to Ladybug, who was occasionally glancing at something and opening her mouth, only to close it again and look away.

He followed her gaze to a bunch of different sized purple, paper butterflies.

Oh. Did she want them and just didn’t know how to say it?

He walked over to the butterflies and checked the price. After a few seconds’ deliberation he made his way down the aisle to look at the construction paper’s prices. Hm… time versus convenience...

He looked up to ask which one would be better and cringed internally when he realized everyone had disappeared.

How did they disappear? They were so loud…

But that wasn’t his problem at the moment.

He pulled down the container of purple butterflies down and started walking.

He tried to ignore the stares of staff members as he wandered the aisles.

“Bonjour!”

Shit.

He turned around and brought a smile to his face as he looked at the lady that had come up to him.

“Salut!” He said brightly, and he tried not to take too much pleasure in the way she winced. It was his go to passive-aggressive move to say ‘Salut’ at this point, to imply that the person judging him was on the same level. Was it petty? Yes. Did it work when it came to trying to figure out if it was something innocent or not? Also yes.

“Is there something I can help you with, sir?”

“No thank you, ma’am, I’m just looking for my friends,” he said.

Should he avoid eye contact and bow his head a little? Would she think that was suspicious? He hadn’t done anything, but he also didn’t have any identification on him which wouldn’t look good if she was going to question him…

“Can I accompany you to help you find them?”

Ah. So she was going down that kind of route?

“Not necessary,” he tried.

“I insist.”

“No thank you. I’m fine.”

“A kid like you shouldn’t be left alone...”

He gripped the packet of paper butterflies so tightly that it dug into his palms.

“I can handle myself, thank you. I’m Carapace,” he said.

He fought back a cringe, but it had been necessary. If he stayed like this too long he could get akumatized, and he really didn’t need that right now.

“And I’m Ladybug,” she said, unimpressed.

Yeah. Fair enough. That was kind of hard to prove. Should he show her the kwami hiding in his pocket…?

No, reaching towards his pocket was decidedly a bad idea. She was way too wary of him for that, who knows what she’d think.

He pulled a fake smile to his face. Fine. If he could get this over with quickly he might be able to get through this without getting akumatized.

“Okay, ma’am, help would be nice, I guess…”

~~~

Taglist

@nathleigh @mialuvscats @sassakitty @th1s-1s-my-aesthet1c @blueslushgueen @woe-is-me0

#a miraculous tiktok account #nino lahiffe #carapace #chat noir #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #queen bee #chloe bourgeois #alya cesaire #rena rouge #rewriting miraculous #chloenette #chlonette #adrino

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ask-iamnotanalicorn · 4 years ago

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Previous: The Discord Timeline

The Industrial Devolution Timeline:

The road to economic domination was creeping and insidious.

First, Nightmare Moon returned. Celestia and Cadance were able to subdue her, locking her in a (very comfortable) prison while Celestia sought a way to free her sister of the evil influence warping her mind. With the monarch so distracted and Princess Cadance struggling to take up the slack, a few opportunistic entrepreneurs began getting their roots into the market.

Then the Crystal War began, dividing Celestia’s and Cadance’s attention even further. The Changelings attacked, sowing destruction and distrust until Cadance defeated their queen. Tirek cut a swath through the countryside before being stopped, increasing the economic struggles. It was as if a domino of assaults on the Equestrian daily life had started, with none able to stop the ever-larger dominoes from toppling.

Celestia was terribly injured during the final fight that destroyed King Sombra. Luna finally overcame her rage and the parasitic magic fueling it, but went into seclusion out of shame and a desire to tend to her wounded sister. Cadance’s focus was split between post-war rebuilding in Equestria, assisting the confused, freed, and much-distrusted crystal ponies with stabilizing their crippled city, and tending to her own first child. With their leaders so distracted and the country still reeling from so many attacks, ponies desperately reached out for any kind of financial and necessities stability.

Perfectly fertile soil for the country’s most hostile economic takeover in its history.

Flim and Flam’s tactics were simple yet effective: move in wherever large numbers of companies had collapsed and fill the void with simple, cheap necessities that anypony could afford. As their finances grew, they began to expand, beating out surrounding competition with their rock-bottom prices until they could either buy out or crush their competitors. They continued this strategy further and further out, their influence spreading like hives across Equestria until hardly any retailers of food, drinks, household goods, small machine parts, and pretty much every other goods reseller below industrial level still operated. (Although who knew what the future might hold for FlimFlam Industries?) Once competition decreased to almost nill, they raised their prices to just barely affordable, swelling their already full pockets.

By the end of the Crystal War, they had such a grip, so much financial and political power, that even if the princesses should realize the toxic hold this company has on the market, it will be a long road back to rebalancing the economy. The country has, regrettably, come to rely on Flim Flam Industries, and their stranglehold would not be easily broken.

Sales always dreamed of being a traveling salespony. He’d even gotten a taste of it before the war. But now... well, there was no one to sell for. Companies kept dying out from under him. And if it weren’t bad enough that FFI already sold cheap, unexciting product options, the further lack of competition gave them even less incentive to TRY. They could cut costs on everything from packaging to flavor to color options; there was absolutely no consideration for variety or improvement or innovation. Soon everything in those blasted pop-up depots came in bland, uniformly labeled containers, with names like FLOUR and SOAP and TOWELS. There was no ART to it, and worst of all, no heart. And certainly no need for a door-to-door sales technique - not when F&F Depots were on every corner and people already had little choice but to get their goods from them.

So that’s how Sales ended up here, running one of those blasted depots. It is barely salesponyship, but it was still the closest thing he could find to his special talent. Meanwhile pollution and unchecked labor laws are creeping out from the cities, and farms are being consumed for their timber and factory locations. Quills & Sofas went under, leaving Sales’ father without a job and one more worry for Salespitch. Everypony prays that Celestia would heal, that Cadance would realize the depths of what was happening and make some move to stop it, that even the once-evil Princess Luna rumored to be tending her sister in the castle would take a stand. But for now, FFI is taking full advantage of the rulers’ distraction and obliviousness to tighten their hold on the country’s economy. Sales works and keeps his head down; it’s too great an issue for one pony to tackle, especially a pony whose only real talent is talking.

He tries to remind himself that things could be worse. Despite crummy wages and the soul-deadening monotony of just grabbing standard crap off a shelf when asked, Sales IS making a living. He makes an effort to keep his depot looking like the pony who works there actually cares (a façade FFI has long since abandoned.) Black took up work as a stocker in the store, so at least they get to hang out. Pollution isn’t as bad in Featherhorn (yet), although the deforestation and smog have been spreading nearer. But Sales just can’t get around the fact that there’s a briefcase-shaped hole in his soul where good, honest, smart salesponyship was meant to be. It’s hard not to be bitter and miserable when your purpose has been almost completely taken away from you. Still... if Sales can find a way to get a new company going without being ground under Flim and Flam’s hooves... maybe he can go back to doing what he loves, and the world will feel a little more right again. Fun Facts About The Flim Flam Timeline:

- I got my idea for a total economic takeover from a book 6 of the Pendragon series, “The Quillen Games” by D.J. MacHale. Its setting is a world where a single corporation has such control that they even own the people to an extent, but I didn’t want to go THAT dark (although this is still darker than my initial draft), so I stopped at just owning all of the selling outlets. Lack of competition in capitalism breeds complacency, leading to high prices with minimal improvement or variety. (That book may have also stuck in my mind because it was the first time an author so thoroughly pulled the rug out from under me that I was too depressed to finish the series. I can’t HANDLE that kind of catastrophic reversal, MacHale!!!)

- Sales’s dad, Sales Patter, lost his job as Head of Sales at Quills & Sofas after the company was eaten by FlimFlam Industries. He currently lives at home taking care of Pitch Perfect while Pitch Forward does her best to bring in funding through her competitive high-diving sponsorships. Sales and Black contribute money as well, although Black has a surprisingly well-stocked savings account that he refuses to explain to anyone.

- Flim and Flam offered Sales a job as their company spokespony, mainly because they loved the idea of having an ‘alicorn’ as their mascot. Obviously he turned them down, but he did still grudgingly accept a position at the Featherhorn depot since it’s the closest thing he can find to what he’s good at. (Flim and Flam do still like to give people a show, especially when it comes to the smoke and mirrors they must use to keep the wealthier populace and government from paying too much attention to some of the ways FFI cuts their spending - at the expense of their workers, mostly.)

- I’ve seen others do this timeline harsher; there’s a fimfiction that had an interesting take on Celestia being injured in her fight with Nightmare Moon and then IMPRISONED by Flim and Flam’s company so it could take over, which led to an ever-rising problem with pollution, underage workers, poor labor laws, and backhoof politics. Some of that does exist in this timeline, but I went with a severe injury and seclusion in the palace. The Princesses are still AROUND, but being carefully shielded from the truly dark nature of some of Flim and Flam’s machinations. It may just take someone getting their attention drawn to the right things to start the ball rolling...

- Sales and Patter do team up to create a small startup company, selling goods made by Featherhorn’s citizens to the local area. Black uses his connections as a Royal Service agent to sneak them into the palace, where they get an uber-rare meeting with Princess Celestia, who is blessedly awake enough to recognize the little AI and hear their plight. She convinces Luna, who has been taking care of her this whole time, that something needs to be done. Luna is grossly undereducated about modern economics and business practices, but she pulls Cadance in, and while Cadance works on investigating these horrible labor practices they’ve reported, Luna begins brushing up on her education and offers some protection to Sales’ little company. She does, in fact, find some obscure ancient laws that give them a leg up in the fight against FFI when they inevitably try to buy out, sue, and/or bankrupt Sales’ and Patter’s company into the ground. But they start making some headway.

- It’s a long road back to a balanced market, and much of the work will be done by the Princesses. But the inspiration ponies draw from the changes they see starts the dominoes again - this time, in the direction of positive change.

Next Week: The Wasteland Timeline (finale!)

#mlp ask blog #pony ask blog #my little pony #flim flam brothers #IANAA #salespitch #celestia #cadance #luna

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queerebrum · 4 years ago

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@lorrainebattaglia said: I’m not sure if you’re into soulmate AUs. But I like imagining that instead of being a weirdly tidy shitbag at that gas station (seriously, you washed his windows for intimidation?), that he realizes that this kid with the fuzzy affliction is his other half and it throws his entire life into a blender. Double angst points if for wolves it’s a scent thing and the reason Derek got snared by Kate is because of Chris’ scent on her

Which was an absolutely amazing prompt!! I hope I did it justice!! AO3 LINK!

Chris gave up on finding his soulmate a long time ago.

He gave up when his 18th birthday came and went and he’d walk the halls of his high school (and his college dorm) and lock eyes with everyone and...nothing. No spark. No sudden, inexplicable knowledge that this, this was the person you were supposed to be with forever. Part of him had always wanted to find them, to find the person he was destined for.

But like the good soldier he was, he’d consented to an arranged marriage. They’d even had a daughter – the future Argent matriarch that Chris spent his adulthood keeping Gerard as far from as possible. He’d seen what his father had twisted Kate into. He didn’t want that for Allison.

So nearly two decades past the average age one meets their soulmate, the last thing Chris expected was to look into a pair of angry hazel eyes and feel it. Whatever Chris was going to say flew out of his mind. He froze. This young man, this werewolf was his soulmate.

A shocked expression flickered across Derek Hale’s face too, the werewolf’s nostrils flaring suddenly before his eyes flicked away from Chris’s towards the gas pump. In a low voice he said, “Honestly, at this point killing me would be the least awkward way to handle this situation, so if you could just get that over with quickly, I’d appreciate it.”

Chris couldn’t exactly blame Derek for expecting that to be the reason he was there. Him, and the six other hunters he’d brought with him for back up. Chris stayed silent for another long moment, trying to figure out exactly what a married man his age and a twenty-something werewolf did about a moments-old soulmate bond.

Clearing his throat he looked at the other hunters. “He’s all alone, I think I can manage him.”

“Mr. Argent –”

“You heard me.” He looked around at the hunters. “Go back to the house. If I need backup, I’ll be sure to call.”

Chris was sure that inevitably this choice would raise eyebrows with someone. Him sending his backup away? Leaving himself alone at a gas station, late at night with a werewolf just nights after bodies had started showing up? Unheard of. If anything happened to him, the men he’d just sent away could be killed for allowing it.

But, Chris was a soldier not a prince, no matter how Gerard tended to treat him.

When the other hunters had left – and Derek was done pumping his gas – Chris held up both of his hands and stepped towards the young man. “Two questions. I just need to ask you two questions and then if you never want to see me again, I’ll understand.”

Derek had his hands tucked into the pocket of his jacket, and turned to face Chris, his mouth pressed in a thin line. “Fine.”

“Are you the alpha?” It was a question that needed to be asked, though Chris had a feeling just from the way Derek held himself that that wasn’t the case. He didn’t seem like the kind of alpha that would be wreaking havoc. He seemed like a terrified young man.

“No.” Derek answered, eyes on the ground. “And don’t ask me to prove it.”

“That would be a waste of my second question,” Chris smiled. “Do you know who the alpha is?”

Derek shook his head. “I’m trying to figure it out too.”

Chris nodded. “Thank you for being honest.”

Derek sighed, his eyebrows drawn together, and he looked up finally, those hazel eyes - flecked with gold and green now that Chris was close enough to see them. “Can I ask you a question?”

Chris folded his hands in front of him. “Seems fair.” He studied the hunch of Derek’s shoulder, the way he kept his hands in his jacket, the hard set of his jaw.

“How are you related to Kate Argent?”

Chris frowned, his own brow furrowing at the question. “She’s my sister.”

Derek let out a long sigh and then nodded. “Got it. Thanks.” Without another word, Derek walked around to the drivers side of his car, glanced at Chris one last time, climbed in and drove away.

Chris didn’t know what to do with the information presented to him. He prided himself on his ability to compartmentalize, to keep his emotions out of decisions like this. And yet, as he watched the tail lights on the Camaro fade into the darkness, he couldn’t seem to figure out how he was supposed to go back to his life like everything was normal. LIke he hadn’t just run into his soulmate at a gas station.

He had so many more questions – how did Derek know Kate? What did Kate know about the Hales that she’d never mentioned? How much did his father know about the whole situation? How would Victoria react when – if – she found out?

He had more questions than answers.

And he wasn’t even sure if he wanted the answers.

Chris’s head was spinning. He was spinning and dangerously close to the kind of breakdown that hadn’t happened in years. He drove aimlessly around Beacon Hills, knowing exactly what – who – he was looking for but not sure where to begin to look.

He should be home. Home with his wife who’d been bitten by an alpha werewolf. Home with his daughter who in a matter of days would be losing her mother. Home keeping an eye on his father and trying to piece together how they were going to deal with the fact that one of his daughter’s classmates had been turned into a kanima.

Instead, he was alone, driving around Beacon Hills, following a tug in his chest because god damnit he deserved answers.

There was only one alpha werewolf in Beacon Hills at the moment. There was only one person who could have bitten Victoria, and Chris needed to understand why he’d done it.

He finally found the Camaro parked at an old rail depot, and pulled his SUV next to it. He rubbed at his eyes – stinging with unshed tears – before climbing out of it, pulling his gun from his holster before he walked into the building.

The depot was empty aside from Derek, who stepped out of one of the rail cars to stare at Chris in the near-dark. Chris wondered idly where the gaggle of teenagers Derek had also bitten were. Did they still have homes, have families to go back to? Or were they out terrorizing a town he was supposed to be protecting?

“You bit my wife,” was what spilled out of Chris’s mouth. There was an edge of hysteria to his voice. Confusion. Pain. He was closer to his own breaking point than he’d realized.

Derek leaned down to flick on a lamp and warm yellow light filled the dingy space. His arms crossed over his chest. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“I should kill you,” Chris laughed, bringing his free hand up to his mouth. He held the hand with the gun out, staring at it. “I should kill you right here for what you’ve done. It wouldn’t even break the code.”

“So why haven’t you?” Derek asked, eyeing the gun warily. That’s how they always were around each other. Wary. Nervous. Neither of them knew how the other thought or felt because they’re soulmates and they’re strangers.

“Tell me why. Tell me why my daughter deserves to grow up without a mother? Tell me what I did to deserve to lose her. She’s my wife Derek.”

“She was going to kill Scott.”

Derek’s tone was soft, sure, and so painfully truthful that it tore another hysterical laugh out of Chris’s throat. “What are you talking about?”

“Biting her was the only option I had. It was that, or kill her. I’m sorry, Chris. I didn’t do this to hurt you. I did this to save Scott.”

Chris slid his gun back into his holster before the shaking in his hands progressed far enough that he’d drop it. He folded both of his hands in front of his face, pressing his lips against his thumbs and looking over the tops of his hands at Derek. “She lied to me.”

Derek shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t know what she told you. But, I’m not lying, Chris. You’d know it if I was.”

He would. He’d know because the bond in his chest that had led him to Derek would have told him. Chris felt unfamiliar tears prick in his eyes, hot and salty and foreign. His body was shaking and he was so unbelievably confused.

“Why would Victoria want to kill Scott? He hadn’t broken the code.”

“Y’know, I didn’t really stop to ask. But probably for the same reason your sister burned my family alive: because she felt like it.”

“Victoria isn’t Kate. She’s a good woman. A good mother.” Chris blinked rapidly to clear his vision, still staring at Derek. His instincts were screaming for him to turn away, hide his weakness, be anywhere but standing in front of an alpha werewolf in the middle of an emotional breakdown.

“I made a choice, Chris.” Derek’s voice had lost its disinterested edge. He’d stepped forward, head cocked to the side. “I made a choice between letting Scott die, or biting Victoria. I didn’t kill her. If she chooses to die instead of become a werewolf, that’s her decision. I didn’t do this to hurt you.”

Chris felt tears slip, hot and heavy. He finally broke his gaze, turning his back to Derek and wiping the tears away from his eyes. A million words flitted across his tongue; I don’t know what I’m going to do. Why is this happening? What did I do to deserve this? What did Allison do to deserve this?

A warm hand landed on his shoulder and Chris jumped but refused to react or turn. The hand felt like fire, the first real time Derek had ever touched him. It was nothing more than Derek’s palm resting on his shoulder, finger squeezing slightly, but it grounded him. Nothing made any more sense or felt any easier, but the tightness in Chris’s chest eased, and he felt himself draw in a shaky breath.

“I’m not sorry I did it.” Derek said, his hand still anchored on Chris’s shoulder, warm and real and a comfort. This was what it meant to have a soulmate. One touch from Derek felt more powerful than any time Victoria had touched him in almost 20 years of marriage. “I’d do it again. But I am sorry you’re hurting, Chris.”

Chris wasn’t sure what was worse: the fact that Derek wasn’t sorry, or the fact that Chris couldn’t bring himself to hate Derek for what he’d done.

Chris gripped the fence so hard his knuckles were white and the metal threatened to bite into the skin of his fingers. His knees felt weak, his heart shattered into a million tiny pieces. He tried to focus on breathing, on the simple in-out pattern, practiced and honed in hundreds of life or death situations.

In-2-3 out-2-3

Chris knew he had to keep himself together. He wanted to run to where Scott McCall sat holding his daughter’s body and see if there was any sign of life left, any chance that she could be alive. He wanted to hold Allison and tell her everything he’d never gotten the chance to. How proud he was of her. How amazing a person she was becoming. How he’d go through every painful part of his life over again just to have her in it.

And now she was gone.

Chris knew it in his heart. And Scott, as Allison’s soulmate, would have known best. Even without the banshee’s wail that had ripped through the night, the way Scott sat, numb and shell shocked, holding her body, told Chris everything he needed to know.

Chris was afraid that if he let go of the fence he’d go tumbling towards the ground. He was afraid he’d lose the carefully crafted persona of composure and competence. His daughter was gone. His wife was gone. He had nothing left to hold onto. Nothing left to live for, to fight for.

An arm, too warm to be human, wrapped around his chest from the back. A body, solid and real was suddenly right behind his. Chris knew instantly who it was and let out the shuddering breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He didn’t turn, didn’t dare take more than what Derek was freely giving, but he did lean back. He soaked in the heat of Derek’s body against the icy numbness of despair that was setting in.

“I’ve got you.” Derek’s other arm was wrapped firmly around Chris’s waist, Derek more than strong enough to keep Chris from falling to his knees with the gravity of his grief.

A lot had changed since that night at the gas station, where Derek had still been so lost in his own grief and anger Chris wasn’t even sure there was a whole person underneath the facade. A lot had changed since Chris had come to Derek begging for answers about biting Victoria. Derek was no longer an alpha. Chris no longer hunted. Now, he was a protector.

He was a protector and he’d failed to protect the person dearest to him.

Chris finally let go of the fence, his hands shaking as he cupped then over his face, drawing in long, uneven breaths. There was so much to do. They needed to figure out a cover story. He needed to coach the kids - Kira and Isaac and Scott – so that they didn’t reveal the supernatural. There were steps that needed to be taken before Chris could break.

But he took the moment Derek offered him. The moment of quiet understanding between two men who had collectively shared more loss than many would ever know. Chris let himself be comforted by Derek’s presence, by the warmth and the strength of his arms, by the quiet, even rhythm of his breath against Chris’s back.

When he was sure his knees wouldn’t go out from under him, Chris stepped forward gently. Derek’s arms fell away, though one of his hands rested on Chris’s hip, like Derek wasn’t quite sure that letting go was a great idea. (It was a terrible idea. Chris wanted to hide away in Derek’s embrace and pretend like he wasn’t facing the hardest situation of his entire life.)

“What can I do?” Derek asked softly.

Chris was afraid if he turned around, if he saw the softness, the genuine empathy in Derek’s eyes, he might break. “Stay close.” Chris said. “Please.”

The gentle brush of Derek’s thumb over Chris’s hipbone felt more intimate than a thousand kisses as the werewolf softly said. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Once the Nogitsune is gone, locked away in a wooden box carved by an emissary for an alpha werewolf whose spark no longer exists, Chris sat down at his kitchen table with the heavy realization that all he had left in this world was Derek Hale.

His soulmate. His perfect match. The person he was supposed to have spent his life with.

Derek had stayed close since Allison died, but Chris wasn’t the only person Derek had. Chris wasn’t jealous of that fact. He was thankful, really. Thankful that Derek had a pack who needed him, a pack who loved him. He had Scott and Isaac and Stiles and Lydia and Kira. And Derek had done his best as the pack elder to hold them all together through this storm of loss.

And they loved him for it.

They loved him in a way Chris wasn’t sure his shattered heart would ever be able to manage. They loved him in a way Chris wasn’t sure he deserved to love someone like Derek. Someone who made his mistakes and learned from them. Someone who had faced a life full of so much tragedy he nearly put Chris’s own to shame.

And yet, Chris looked up to hear the door open, and heard laughter – laughter – ringing through his otherwise empty apartment. Derek and Isaac stumbled through, laughing about whatever happened at the movie they’d gone to see. Isaac looked at Chris, flashed a small, grateful smile, and then excused himself.

“Movie was okay then?” Chris asked after a moment.

“Definitely not the worst one they’ve convinced me to go see,” Derek said, wandering towards the table and leaning against the corner next to where Chris sat. “Do anything exciting?”

“I finally ordered the postage.” Chris motioned to the jar that held the Nogitsune. “And reached out to a contact in France. They’re going to take care of it.”

“That’s good.” Derek smiled, small but genuine.

Chris felt the warmth, the comfort of having his soulmate near wash over him. He couldn’t stop himself from bringing his hand up and resting it against Derek’s hip. Derek’s all but lived at Chris’s apartment in the last few weeks. Staying close, being nearby for when things felt like too much. “I don’t know how to thank you.” Chris said quietly. “I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

“It never gets easier,” Derek said. There was so much wisdom in what he said that it made Chris ache for the child Derek had once been. Had he ever known peace? “But I wouldn’t be here without people to rely on.”

“I’m sorry you got stuck with someone like me,” Chris admitted, running his thumb over Derek’s hip bone. “You deserve someone your own age, someone less broken.”

“That’s not how soulmates work. Besides.” A small chuckle escaped him. “I’m sort of broken myself.”

Chris stood up, shaking his head. “You still deserve so much better.”

“When I was 15, I had to mercy kill the girl I loved as she died from bite rejection.” Derek stepped closer to Chris, their bodies nearly touching, Derek’s hands at his side, brushing against the grip Chris still had on his hip. “When I was 16, I thought I found my soulmate. Turned out it was your sister, she just smelled like you. She burned my family alive.”

Chris looked away, letting his eyes fall closed. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop.” Derek said. One of his hands cupped Chris’s cheek, tilting his face back towards Derek’s own. “A few months ago I was manipulated by a dark druid masquerading as an English teacher. The details don’t matter but I can promise you this, Chris. You are what I deserve. You’re my mate. I may not have liked it, but I’ve never doubted it.”

They were so close that Chris could see the kaleidoscope of colors in Derek’s eyes. Their bond was singing with the truthfulness of his words and Chris was overwhelmed with the rightness of how the moment felt. “I don’t know if I can love you the way you deserve.” Chris whispered.

“You already do.” Derek said, leaning their foreheads together.

Chris let his eyes slip closed, let himself stand there in the moment, his daughter pushed to a corner of his mind as he reveled in being close with someone who made him feel whole despite the ragged edges and broken pieces. “Are you sure?” Chris asked, needing to know, needing one last confirmation that this was what Derek wanted. He wanted a broken old man with more skeletons than he had closets to put them in.

Derek didn’t reply with words, but the kiss he pressed to Chris’s lips was soft and sweet, genuine and giving. Somehow, despite the world's constant attempts to turn him into something sharp and dangerous, Derek had retained this softness, this capacity for love and forgiveness.

Chris stopped over thinking. He stopped thinking altogether. There would be time for that in the future. For now, he just leaned close, wrapped his arm around Derek’s waist and returned the kiss.

#teen wolf #Chris argent #Derek hale #dargent #cherek #deropher #chrisderek #my fic #soulmate au #grief and mourning #dh #ca #in bed with the right argent

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softupshur · 6 years ago

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Sullivan, you ARE the father!

Ao3 link if you’re into that kind of thing

Winding down for the evening, you catch a peculiar episode of Maury complete with shotguns, bluegrass tunes, and parables of The Enemy.

*Note that the characters of Matthias and Barnabas are borrowed from my friends!

Matthias belongs to @billy-hoepe Barnabas belongs to @taekwondoit

A thousand thanks to both of you for letting me borrow your hicks for this delightful nonsense <33

After a long day at work and an even longer traffic jam, you sink into the couch. For a good ten seconds, you close your eyes and breathe easy. The silence is welcome, initially, but you soon reach for the remote and flip the TV on just in time for the latest episode of Maury. You’re about to change the channel, but you’re drawn in by the rustic attire of Maury’s teenaged guest. It looks like he should be playing a part in the community theater’s production of “The Crucible”. With nothing better on at this hour, you set the remote down as Maury introduces the young man.

“Say hello to our guest, Otis.”

The audience offers a polite applause, though Otis only nods in response.

“And he’s here today, because for three years, he’s been raising little Seth all by himself. No alimony, no child support, not so much as a word from the father, and he’s decided enough is enough. It’s time for the father to step up and give Seth the life he deserves.”

The screen behind Maury turns on to show a toddler in a button up shirt and overalls. Despite the horrendously crooked bowl cut, you’re overwhelmed with the urge to reach through the television and pinch his chubby cheeks. Unfortunately, you have to settle on joining the audience in their collective, “awww,” as he waves to the camera with both hands.

“Cute kid, cute kid,” Maury remarks before he turns his attention back to Otis. “Now, Otis, tell us about what you’re hoping for today.”

Otis sighs and buries his face in his hands. “I’m tired, Maury. I love Seth, but I can’t do this by myself anymore. Did you know he brought a gila monster in the house last week? How did he even catch a gila monster? Not only that but he didn’t get bit! It’s ridiculous! When I take it away, it decides my hand is dinner! The swelling didn’t go down for a week! Imagine what it would have done to Seth!? But oh no, I’m the bad guy for taking away his new friend! His new friend was poisonous! Excuse me for saving the kid a trip to the hospital! Oh, that’s right! We don’t even have hospitals in Temple Gate!”

Maury cocks his head. “Temple Gate. Backstage you mentioned it was in Arizona, but I never heard of it. Is it one of those rural communities?”

Otis is quiet for so long that you fiddle with the volume. When he finally responds, he only says, “Yes.”

A smile from Maury follows. “You must have been working very hard then. That’s why we’re going to do our best to help you today.” He looks back to his audience. “Now we have four men with us who might be the father: Jebediah, Matthias, Barnabas, and Sullivan!”

The screen turns on to show all four men. They look at the camera as if they’re staring at a ghost, except Sullivan who maintains a neutral expression. You stare at him the longest due to the conspicuously absent right eye.

“Now all four of them have agreed to a paternity test, and while we wait for the results, let’s welcome them all out today!”

The men file out to boos and jeers. Once again, Sullivan is the only one unphased, but your attention only lingers at him for a moment, as the full screen reveals that Barnabas is missing an arm. He’s the first one Maury addresses.

“Now, Barnabas-”

“Aw, shucks! You can call me Barney! Everyone does!” Several of his teeth are missing and those that remain are tarnished and chipped.

Hiding his disgust behind an unreadable smile, Maury continues. “Right, Barney. Now you stepped forward because you have reason to believe you might be the father.”

“Well, Mary-”

“It’s Maury.”

“Murray?”

“Maury.”

“Marie?”

“What makes you think you might be the father?” Maury settles on.

Barney’s eyes glow. “Gosh, I just...ever since I was a boy, I wanted a little one to call ma very own. Me and a purty wife would do our part to make the prophet’s line a nation, livin’ on a big, old farm, and…” He tears up. “If that little boy needs a role model, I wanna be there fir him! Murphy, I want t’be the dad!”

It’s the first time you see the audience applaud for one of the possible fathers.

“I’ve never seen this man in my life,” Otis remarks dryly.

It’s also the first time you see the audience turn on the main guest to which Otis snaps back.

“What!? I’m just stating the facts! I know damn well who the father is and it’s not him!” He marches past the men so he could look Sullivan in the eye. “This guy! This fatass right here is the father!”

Sullivan doesn’t even flinch. “No, I’m not.”

“You look at that child and say it’s not yours!”

The screen shows photos of Seth and Sullivan placed side by side. Otis points at the eyes. “Look at that! Can’t you see it!? You both have the devil in your eyes!”

The audience is hollering, but Sullivan maintains his cool. “I only have one eye.”

“But you had two eyes once!” Otis shouts. “You just cut it out like a crazy person!”

“How do you know that?”

“It’s in the gospel that you wrote!”

“What chapter?” Sullivan asks.

“Oh, lay off it!”

“What chapter?” Sullivan pulls a small book from his robes and hands it to Otis. “What verse and chapter?”

Otis squints at the curiously untitled book before chucking it back at Knoth. You don’t hear what Otis says next due to the endless series of beeps, but he’s frantic enough that Maury comes to take him by the shoulders and guide him back to his chair.

“That father is clearly Jebediah.” Sullivan states in his defense. “Everyone knows him and Otis were seen together around the time of conception.”

“I just traded to get some furs from him!” Otis protests. “Something I wouldn’t have had to do if you just installed some heating in Temple Gate! Why don’t we have that!? Where’s our air conditioning!?” He’s out of his seat again, storming up to Sullivan. “Why!? Why do you do this to us!? Just let us have space heaters for God’s sake!” Another flurry of beeps follow before he rejoins Maury’s side.

“Now Sullivan makes a good point,” Maury says. “You were seen with Jebediah around the right time and sources say you two were quite friendly.”

“I was trying to be civil!”

“Ya, that’s it!” Jebediah nods in agreement. “I couldn’t be the father!”

“And if you are?” Maury asks.

Jebediah bites his lip. “Then my wife sure is gonna be awful mad!”

The audience jeers and Jebediah puts up his hands in defense. “Now lookie here, folks, I ain’t no bad guy here! I just came on cuz Papa asked me to but the truth is I ain’t talked to Otis not but twice in my life!” He then points to Matthias. “I reckon he’s the father! I dun seen him and Otis be mighty chummy to each other every Friday!”

“He’s just my neighbor!” Otis argues. “Everyone has neighbors!”

“Y-yeah, that’s right!” Matthias’ voice is too shaky to convince anyone. “I just give him a howdy hi cuz he’s always at the dock on my way to band practice, but I swear to Knoth, that’s all!”

The screen cuts to a prerecorded video where Matthias is the center focus. “Now there’s no gosh darned tootin’ way I could be Seth’s father. If ya ask me, I say it’s Jebediah. Everyone knows he fornicates behind his wife’s back all the time. I dun seen him do it sometimes after sermon….not that I’m into that kind of thing! It’s just that ya sometimes seen strange things in Temple Gate and I done suspect Jebediah has a few littluns runnin’ around the place. I even see him at the docks near Otis’s house when band practice runs late.”

You plug your ears at the twangy bluegrass that follows. It sounds like it was recorded in someone’s basement.

“Now if you want to hear some of our tunes, we done burned a few CDs.” He holds up a CD with “Nu Moozik Toons” written in sharpie. “One of the deacons got a pack frum Office Depot and uh...once we realized ya ain’t s’posed to burn them at the bonfire, we got a few workin’ copies. If you want one uh...just come on down to Temple Gate.”

No website nor phone number is provided.

The screen cuts back to the show and Maury is holding the yellow envelope.

“Now we’ve met the men, heard all sides of the story, and the results are in!”

The audience loses their shit as Maury opens the envelope. All the men, aside from Sullivan, are at the edge of their seat. The studio hushes when Maury speaks.

“Barney! In the case of three-year old Seth...you are not the father!”

Though the audience cheers for him, Barney rests his head in his only hand while Matthias pats him on the back.

“I just really wanted to be the father,” he chokes out as a single tear rolls down his eye, but Maury doesn’t skip a beat.

“Matthias! In the case of three-year old Seth...you are not the father!”

A sigh of relief escapes Matthias. All eyes turn to Jebediah who bites his nails as he awaits Maury’s sentence.

“Jebediah! In the case of three-year old Seth...you are not the father!”

Jebediah leaps from his chair and shouts out, “Yeehaw!” He does a jig around the studio, before he fires a shotgun into the ceiling. It takes out one of the lights. You wonder why you didn’t notice the gun earlier.

Finally, Sullivan’s name is called.

“Sullivan! In the case of three-year old Seth...you are the father!”

“Ha!” Otis shoots from his chair and storms to Sullivan. “I -bleep- knew it! No one believed me, but I always knew it was you! Now everyone knows you’re a one eyed slut and a deadbeat father!”

You wait for Sullivan to explode as he rises, but he only states. “That child is not mine.”

“Oh -bleep- you, old man!” Otis snatches the results from Maury and holds them up to Sullivan. “The results are in and you owe me child support!”

Sullivan takes a deep breath. When he speaks, you’re taken aback by his booming voice. “That child is of The Enemy!” He turns to the audience as if addressing a congregation. “And the filthy seed must be eradicated before it lays waste to all we know!”

“Wait, no! Not like that!” Otis cries out. “I just wanted you to pay child support, maybe spend time with him on the weekends!”

“God wants the child,” Knoth’s voice sends chills down your spine as he pulls out a hunting knife.

Maury hurries to come between them. “Hey, Sullivan! The child is yours. Now put the knife down…”

Sullivan seems to obey at first. He lowers the knife and bows his head. You have to turn the volume up to hear him murmur, “God give me voice, God guide my hand.”

“Alright, good,” Maury says. “Now-”

Before he could finish, Sullivan lunges.

Maury dodges the first swipe, but the two run off camera while Otis shouts for Sullivan to put the knife away.

The camera falls and the screen cuts to a technical difficulties card accompanied by a deafening ringing. You’re quick to turn the volume down. You wait a full minute, but the card remains. With a sigh, you reach for the remote. Right when you’re about to change the channel, the show returns.

The camera is upright again. Only Sullivan and Otis remain. They sit across from one another in silence, except for Sullivan’s heavy breathing. Between them, Maury lies dead with the knife in his back.

#I'm dead serious when I say this is probably the funniest thing I have ever written #and explains a little something about Seth if you're reading The Lord Rejoices #Sullivan Knoth #Otis #Matthias #Barnabas #Jebediah #Outlast ocs #fanfiction was a mistake #writing #fanfiction #Outlast #Outlast 2

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ahouseoflies · 6 years ago

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The Best Films of 2018, Part I

I’ll associate my moviegoing this year with two things: subscription models and superhero films. Realizing that I was the target audience, I signed up for Moviepass in March, then canceled just before they started extorting people in July. (I’ll remember you all semi-fondly, conniving alarmists in the Moviepass Reddit thread.) Thanks to Moviepass, I took full advantage of my free time over the summer, and I found some nice surprises that I wouldn’t have checked out otherwise. From there I joined AMC A-List, which is the rare corporate service that I cannot complain about in any way. Moviepass always felt like some kind of drug deal, whereas A-List is as easy and inviting an experience as possible. I get to seek out Dolby, IMAX, or 3-D showings instead of getting locked out of them, and the electronic ticketing helps with my last-minute availability. (I’ve mastered the art of lovingly putting my daughter to bed, only to desert her and my wife five minutes later. “You know, there’s an 8:10 showing of The Predator, which means 8:30 after previews...”) My overall viewing was up 11% this year, which I have to attribute to these subscriptions. Perhaps I saw too much though. After a self-righteous five-year ban on superhero movies, I caught up in 2019 like the madman completist that I am. On the plus side, I enjoyed Wonder Woman and Guardians of the Galaxy, and I vaguely feel more connected with the culture-at-large. But I could have been more selective. The diligence required to watch X-Men: Apocalypse late on a Thursday night took away from, say, my Orson Welles project or...reading books. To get some of the business out of the way, I haven’t seen Burning, Shoplifters, Destroyer, Cold War, The Sisters Brothers, Tomb Raider, The Wife, or The House That Jack Built. Not all of us get screeners or care about seeing The Wife. Mostly for argument purposes, I list everything I saw and divide the movies into the categories of Garbage, Admirable Failures, Endearing Curiosities with Big Flaws, Pretty Good Movies, Good Movies, Great Movies, and Instant Classics. Hey, speaking of superheroes: GARBAGE

123. Venom (Ruben Fleischer)- Venom was first announced as an R-rated film until it was neutered into PG-13 at some point in the development road. That was the right choice because this is a movie, in all of its broad, careless storytelling, for children. "So he's going to get married to her but then he looks at her email and then he interviews the guy and he gets fired so then she leaves him and he drinks now?" This is a dummy's version of what a journalist is or what a scientist is, and it never shades into more subtlety than exactly what is on the expected surface. I guess that Tom Hardy gets to jump into a lobster tank if that floats your boat, but the story is stuck on fast-forward for the whole movie, never relenting to develop character or do anything other than communicate information that we don't really need.

Venom is almost--almost--interesting as a new branch in the superhero economy. Why shouldn't Tom Hardy and National Treasure Michelle Williams trade the equity they've built for caring about their work into this trash? I don't begrudge them that for a second. I hope they make more money for the sloppy sequels. 122. The Equalizer 2 (Antoine Fuqua)- The first Equalizer was flat and pointlessly long with pedantic dialogue too, but at least it had the Home Depot sequence. This one makes very basic stuff incoherent and dawdles all the way to the end. Your boy is now an expert hacker too? I guess it's too late for Fuqua to start caring about scripts.

121. Mandy (Panos Cosmatos)- I need somebody to explain to me why, dramatically, this is good without something like, "It's so metal! What a midnight movie! Chainsaw fight lol!" If you want to talk about the visuals that are stylized within an inch of reality, then I'll listen. But there's nothing to hold onto dramatically. I think I've developed an overall irritation with revenge films, but this filthy dirge of a movie felt empty and endless by any standard. 120. Fifty Shades Freed (James Foley)- Its intentions are too guileless to upset me, but Fifty Shades Freed uses up the goodwill I sort of had for the first two by tugging the viewer relentlessly through conflict that always seems temporary. Part of the fun has always been how bizarre basic human interactions seem in this universe. (Has anyone ever returned from a vacation to be surprise-promoted?) But this entry expects way too much from its viewer's loyalty. 119. On Chesil Beach (Dominic Cooke)- There's supposed to be a disconnect to the behavior of the couple in On Chesil Beach, a movie that asks us to harken back to a time when newlyweds were so sexually innocent that they had trouble figuring out how to consummate a marriage. Their fumbling seems foreign to us, which is the point. But what's the excuse for none of the behavior in the movie ringing true to any human experience?

I'm talking about Florence refusing to tell her string quartet that she's engaged because she thinks they'll assume that her marriage will break up the group even though she's sure that it won't. I'm talking about her father, who feels the need to humiliate his son-in-law in tennis because that would prove that he's dominant over the boy in some way that being his employer does not already prove. I'm talking about a plot that literally would not exist if the characters had just engaged in one conversation that it seems like they would have had in the flashbacks, which frame them as a kind of open, reasonably affectionate, easy-going couple. But by all means, McEwan, change that whenever it suits you. 118. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (J.A. Bayona)- I reject the whole premise of this deliberate lowering of stakes that never rises above obligation. To paraphrase a Griffin Newman joke, it makes Jurassic Park 4 look like Jurassic Park 1.

While we're here though: Can I have a movie about the guy who compiled the guest list for the dino auction? I want to see a guy looking at a spreadsheet--or is it an Access file?--and getting to, like, Mark Cuban and weighing the options: "He probably has the $27 million to spare on weaponized recombinant DNA. He would definitely appreciate the wow factor of having his own Indoraptor. But is he more of a neutral evil or a chaotic evil? I guess I'll reserve a seat for him and send the invitation. If he says no, then he says no. Okay, we're still in the C's..."

117. Tag (Jeff Tomsic)- Tag is going to show up on a lot of "worst movies to ever win an Oscar" lists when Jeremy Renner wins an Oscar for it. 116. A-X-L (Oliver Daly)- This is a melodramatic movie about a weaponized robotic dog and the dirtbike kid who befriends it. Nothing wrong with that; a ten-year-old boy might like it, and there aren't enough movies specifically for that audience. But what's weird is how nonchalant the main character is about the whole thing. He immediately starts training this one-of-a-kind "war dog" android and imprints it with his DNA like this is a regular Tuesday. It's one of many things that is just kind of off in this picture.

This being a cheap genre film, you do get treated to those L.A. locations that have been around the block. I think the nondescript complex that houses Craine Industries is also the one from Sneakers and The Lawnmower Man. You know, Craine Industries, the company that is working on a $70 million prototype for the military but, because this is a cheap genre film, seems to have two employees.

I do think there's an interesting movie to be made about motocross. The movie kind of works when it's just about an underdog father and son fixing bikes, before it gets into all of the robot stuff. ADMIRABLE FAILURES

115. The Little Stranger (Lenny Abrahamson)- Dr. Faraday: "Wanna marry me?" Caroline: "Maybe. Do you actually love me?" Dr. Faraday: "Probably not." Caroline: "Hmm, I think I would marry you only as an excuse to go to London to get away from my dying mother and this crumbling house that probably has a ghost." Dr. Faraday: "Oh. Well, glad we're discussing it now because I want to marry you specifically to give me a reason to stay in this crumbling house that probably has a ghost. I'm drawn to it for some reason." Caroline: "Is it because you grew up poor?" Dr. Faraday: "Yes. All dry, cold British stuff ultimately comes down to that.

114. Damsel (David Zellner and Nathan Zellner)- Had I done my research, I wouldn't have watched this Zellner Brothers follow-up to Kumiko the Treasure Hunter, one of my least favorite films of that year. Like that movie, Damsel is a story of two halves, punctuated by a shocking moment that happens halfway through. Unfortunately nothing interesting happens before, and nothing interesting happens after. 113. Suspiria (Luca Guadignino)- This is a movie about duality that gets extended. English, German, and just a sprinkle of French. Six parts and an epilogue. A dual role (and a bit part). Personalities that clash until one pulls ahead. There are ideas here. But, especially considering I don't like the original Suspiria, I didn't find much to hold onto as a visceral experience. It's a long, foreboding sit. Guadagnino knows how to end his movies, but he still doesn't have much to say for the long middle parts. Shout-out to Amazon; I hope that, in some circuitous way, betting on maximalist Italians helps them to sell paper towels or whatever.

112. Early Man (Nick Park)- I still love the Aardman aesthetic, but this material was thin. It's too juvenile for adults and too adult for juveniles. 111. Beirut (Brad Anderson)- The screenplay takes an hour to set up what should have taken twenty minutes. Some of that time is dedicated to developing Hamm's burnt-out alcoholic wheeler-dealer, but he's a character we've seen a hundred times before anyway. Some shorthand would have done some good. Once the plot gets going, it's serviceable, but I was bored by that point. Pike and Hamm need to fire their managers. 110. Upgrade (Leigh Whannell)- I'll admit that I owed the film more attention than I gave it since I was nodding off the whole time, but nothing in the gloomy programmer interested me enough to want to go back.

109. Red Sparrow (Francis Lawrence)- Good as a steamy blank check provocation from the director and star--not much else. I'm sure people will take down the easy target of Jen Larry's Russian accent, but they're ignoring just how much she tries in something like this. She is a gargantuan Movie Star who commands the screen, and a lot of that presence comes from the commitment of, say, learning how to ballet dance for what must have been months. She hasn't slept through a performance yet.

I didn't think this endless movie made much sense, especially near its conclusion. Perhaps it's my personal distaste for the way that spy movies introduce major plot points without so much as a music sting to guide you. As soon as anyone says the term "double agent," my brain turns off.

108. Hot Summer Nights (Elijah Bynum)- If you want to direct a music video, just direct a music video. I like all of the actors in this, but the filmmaker has nothing to say. 107. The First Purge (Gerard McMurray)- Even James DeMonaco seems to be admitting that the bloom is off the rose a bit, since he only wrote this entry in the franchise--and his direction is missed in the action scenes. Just enough of the political subtext remains, (The New Founding Fathers get funding from the NRA, and a character uses "pussy-grabbing" as an insult. Thankfully, a Black church getting shot up by men with Iron Cross flags happens off-screen.)

But there are more characters I didn't care about than characters I did care about. Since its prequel setting doesn't reveal much about the world that we didn't already know, the film needed to do a bit more with the survive-the-night scenario that we already saw in the second film.

106. Vox Lux (Brady Corbet)- A movie that, up to and including the last minute, keeps promising something better than it actually is. Everyone here is making...choices… 105. Madeline’s Madeline (Josephine Decker)- I'm glad David Ehrlich liked this as much as he did. There are some intriguing ideas, most notably the suggestion that a mentally unstable person would be better suited for acting than a healthy person. What a debut for Helena Howard as well. But for it to add up to something by the end, I think I needed it to have more dramatic structure--the sort of fall of the Molly Parker character feels invented and insincere--or go all the way into experiment. 104. Shirkers (Sandi Tan)- One of those "you won't believe what happens next" documentaries that positions itself as an example of truth being stranger than fiction. But removed from a festival context, does it ever rise above its logline? Is it really even that odd?

#film #lists #movie reviews

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together-forevermore-blog · 7 years ago

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Re-watch Wednesday: My Favorite “The 100″ Episodes - “Day Trip”

Disclaimer: Since this is part of a re-watch that I’m doing between Season 4 and Season 5 of The 100, my comments will reflect that and range from reprimanding, praising, and laughing with/at characters to picking apart a line/scene. References will be made to later episodes so SPOILERS are plentiful. (Unless life gets too crazy, there will usually be 2 re-watches a week until the Season 5 premiere)

The 100: 1x08 – Day Trip (aka the “why you shouldn’t eat bad nuts” episode)

Why it’s a favorite: - Y’all ready? This is one of those episodes that I could watch again, and again, and again. . .and I have. It ranks up there with the first episode for me. Yes it has some Bellarke moments, but it’s also got Linctavia moments and some great air time for the delinquents. So without further delay, let’s get into this episode.

So the episode opens with Lincoln still chained and standing. Swaying from being forced to stand for so long and I wonder, “How long has he been there? How much time has passed?” In any case, someone should untie him and get him a cushy chair to sit on (or at least as cushy as can be found from the wreckage of a dropship.

And there’s Bellamy. Sitting and watching Lincoln. Looking like he’s stuck with not knowing what to do with Lincoln now that they’ve saved Finn. Can’t let him go, but he isn’t looking so eager to kill Lincoln either.

It’s Miller time! I didn’t notice him much until this episode but he was instantly one of those characters that, while I may not have liked him much (from the way he treated Lincoln), I still enjoyed seeing him pop up in an episode.

Dude, not the smartest move angering the Grounder. That headbutt must have hurt!

Hmm. . .I’m with you, Bellamy. I’m thinking that maybe Lincoln understands what y’all are saying better than he lets on. (Between you and me Bellamy, I know for a fact he understands and speaks our language. But you didn’t hear that from me.)

I hear Jaha. . .Oh! There he is! On the little screen talking to Clarke.

Council Meeting with Clarke on conference call – So now that they’ve proven that the Earth is survivable, the Ark is worried about their survival. Sure, Abby and Jaha were worried about their own kids, but as Jaha said in the video as the 101 dropped to the ground: “Your crimes have made you expendable.” If I were the 101, I’d be conflicted. Relieved that there was help coming since there’s a massive group of Grounders trying to kill us, but also abhorrence from the fact that just a few days ago the same group considered us “expendable.

Ooo! An old emergency aid depot. . .sounds like an interesting place. Maybe someone should check that out. I nominate Clarke and Bellamy!

ADJOIJEJEWFOIJWF!!!! Not that stupid Diana lady again. And why does she have an issue with the 101 trying to find shelter and supplies? Does she want them to die before the Ark inhabitants are able to make it to Earth? I swear. I never understand her response. But I love that she’s pissed off that Jaha disagrees with her and encourages Clarke to explore the depot.

Clarke - “I know that you both think that betraying my Dad, killing him, was an unavoidable tragedy, but I don’t see it that way, and I never will.” – One thing I’ve learned is to never say never (because it’s just asking for it to happen), but I get it. She’s still angry and under normal circumstances she would probably stay angry for a long time. But this is The 100 and life-experiences tend to change one’s perspective and opinions very quickly.

See! I knew there were chairs somewhere! Someone take those up the ladder to Lincoln! Or better yet, help him down the ladder and offer him a seat.

Dax: the guy you didn’t know you should care about until Clarke starts looking for him. Seriously, the guy is head and shoulders above most in the camp. You’d think he would’ve stuck out from the crowd, but I guess he’s just kept his head down this whole time and concentrated his efforts on skinning rabbits.

It’s my buddy, Commander Shumway!!

Dude. Dax. I was kidding about Commander Shumway being my buddy. You shouldn’t listen to any “deal” he wants to make. You should ask Bellamy about him instead of trying to kill him because Commander Wonderful says you should.

Bellamy and Octavia’s exchange about her being allowed to see Lincoln – There’ve been moments here and there where Octavia started to fight back from being the “girl hidden in the floor.” She’s been the little sister who listened to her big brother all her life. Idolized and looked up to him. But when he led the torturing of Lincoln, he crossed a line and I think that’s when the line was drawn with Octavia. Up until that point, she’d started to see how Bellamy wasn’t perfect. He shot the chancellor to get on the dropship, helped in the attempted hanging of Murphy, destroyed the radio in Raven’s ship, along with many, many other bad choices. But this particular choice, to take Lincoln prisoner and then beat him, was the turning point for her and the beginning of us seeing her cast away her identity as Skaikru and embrace her acceptance as aTrikru.

Still one of my favorite exchanges between them - Clarke – “I’m going to go check it out. I could use backup.” Bellamy – “Why are you asking me?” Clarke – “Well, because right now, I don’t feel like being around anyone I actually like.” Keep telling yourself that, Clarke and maybe it will stay true.

Jasper and Monty!! Am I the only one who smiles whenever they’re on screen together? No? Good. I love them to pieces!!

Lol! Good shot Monty! And they’re hand clap thing. . .always brings a smile.

Hahaha!!! Raven – “I’ll tie him down if I have to.” Awkward!!

Damn, Bellamy! You like nuts or something. . .wait, that came out wrong. . .hmm. . .well, maybe that’s another episode? Season 5?

Yes, yes it is, Clarke. It’s a day trip. Or some might call it a day date. But whatever you call it, it’s a great chance for you and your co-leader to be alone and bond, with nuts. . .sorry, couldn’t help it.

Yeah, no. There’s nothing suspicious about a really tall guy watching Bellamy and Clarke leaving camp, then placing a blade in his jacket as he follows them. . .nothing suspicious at all.

What the hell?! There’s chairs everywhere! They’re living in luxury!

You know, there are benefits to having to hide all your life. Like being able to stay hidden from Miller as he climbs down the ladder that leads to Lincoln.

I find it so satisfying that the way Octavia learns that Lincoln understands her is from him chuckling at her calling Bellamy a “total dick.” I chuckle too, Lincoln.

“This is all my fault because I freaked out so bad when you locked me up in that cave. You’d totally understand why if you knew how I grew up.” – I could say so much about this in reference to how she handles herself in later seasons, but I’ll stop myself. At this particular moment though, she still sees herself as the little girl who’s stuck. Not under a floor but as the person she’s been forced to be because she was apart from everyone. There’s no one like her on the Ark or in the 101. She’s stuck in a group where no one understands her, not really. But this Grounder, whose wounds she cleans and talks openly with, he sees her and knows more about her true self than arguably even Bellamy does.

“My name is Lincoln.” – Nice to meet you Lincoln.

“Well, if we shouldn’t talk, then why did you tell me your name?” “I want you to remember me after I’m dead.” – I don’t think there’s any chance of her forgetting you, dude.

Don’t be like that, Miller. Let them have their moment together.

Back to Clarke and Bellamy, enjoying their nuts. . .

So the land where the supply depot is. . .What the hell is it? There’s a colonial style building, a water tower to the left of it, a small statue in front of it (a man on a horse?) and what looks to be an old gas station at the bottom right of the screen. . .I’ll admit. I give up on figuring what that used to be but I’d love to know.

Raven – I’d hate to see the other guy.” Octavia – “You did, when you were torturing him.” – Awkward doesn’t even come close.

Octavia - “It must suck to come all the way down here to find out your boyfriend is into someone else.” – Ouch! Only because it’s true.

I feel bad for Raven, I really do, but at the same time I want to yell at her to leave Finn’s sorry ass. I know she’s relied on him and he’s been her family on the Ark. And I get that it could potentially be a scary thing to be on your own (or feel that you are) on a hostile planet, but I wish she had more self-respect and confidence in herself.

Raven - “I know and I don’t want to talk about it. . .Ever.” *smacks forehead with hand*

You know, for a tall guy Dax blends in pretty well with the trees.

Y’all, I don’t know if I could’ve gone down the stairs to the depot. I hate spiders and there are some serious spider webs down there. I’d at least make Bellamy go first so he’d get hit in the face with them instead of me.

I know, Bellamy. “A canteen, or a med kit, or a decent fricking tent” would be good right about now. And normally I’d encourage you not to knock over barrels containing oily substances to prove how frustrated you are, but it all works out so I won’t.

Anyone else thinking Bellamy and guns might not be the best thing. . .No? How about after he flashes that smile once he realizes there’s guns? You’re right. It’s cute, not scary.

And here’s where we get to the double meaning of this episode: Clarke and Bellamy are on their own “day trip” and the camp is participating in their own “day trip,” curtesy of some bad nuts.

The whole exchange between Monty and Jasper in their tent is alone worth a re-watch and I would love to quote the whole thing. But I won’t, and instead encourage you to watch it again so you too can smile from watching both of them high and their completely different thoughts about Earth.

Monty - “Oh, I’d like to give Earth a giant hug.” – Sorry, couldn’t resist one quote.

Poor Jasper. Can’t even enjoy the high from the nuts since it makes him hallucinate Grounders.

HAHAHA! “I love you, and I just want you to know this.” I know you meant it for Octavia, Jasper but I love you too!

“You’re totally bombed.” Yes, yes he is, Octavia.

I want a magic anti-Grounder stick.

Smart thinking, Octavia. Give Miller some of those hallucination causing nuts.

And we’ve arrived at another well-known, highly giffed Bellarke moment. I have to say that while I’m okay with them staying as friends or getting together, this was the first moment that I really saw something pointing at either of them having feelings for each other. It’s the classic “OMG! Did I just feel that from touching them?” moment. But I love it for more than that reason. I just like how excited they both get. Her shooting her first gun and him from her excitement. Only on The 100; where two people can bond over guns.

Up until now I haven’t commented on Bellamy’s refusal to talk to Jaha. Partially because the reason becomes evident as he and Clarke shoot guns and talk. Like his sister, he feels stuck/trapped. Which I think is an underlying story for all of them: battling against who they were made/forced to be on the Ark and the person they really are. And while Octavia is jumping at the chance to figure it out, Bellamy is running away. Scared and unwilling at this moment to face his demons and find the better path. Going so far as to convince himself that Octavia hates him and will be fine without him.

Just have to point this out, because every time I watch this episode I notice this one thing and I make a comment about it to my hubby (who’s heard it enough times that he just shakes his head in a “that’s nice dear” way). So now I’m sharing it with you. Most of the time I don’t notice that Bob and Eliza are not speaking with their native accents. But whenever Bob says “Best case scenario,” pronouncing it scen”are”io and not scen”air”io I giggle. Not because I’m laughing at him. I just think it’s cute. Anyway, back to business.

Dude, you are so trippin’ if you see Jaha on the ground!

I find it interesting that what “gets” to Bellamy isn’t that he shot Jaha, but the 320 lives that were lost because he busted up the radio. One justifies with no remorse, the other he admits was a mistake.

It freaks me out when Clarke points that gun at herself. One slip of a finger. . .

Lol. I wonder what’s going through Miller’s head as he stands there smiling. I know one thing he’s not thinking about. . .guarding Lincoln.

Monty, I don’t think Raven and Finn care about changing the tide. Just a guess, though.

Can I join in with the group of guys flying around the camp? It looks like fun.

Jake Griffin (or at least the hallucination of him) - “Forgiveness isn’t about what people deserve.” – Good point, even if it was made my a hallucination.

It amazes me how even with freedom being within his grasp, Lincoln is still more concerned about what his freedom will mean for Octavia - “I’m not gonna put you in danger.” I think his dedication and devotion to her is what got me to like him, even though at this point he’s still technically the enemy.

She’s still so innocent and unsure when he kisses her. First love. There’s nothing like it.

“You’re the most beautiful broom in a broom closet of brooms.” – That’s saying a lot, when you think about it. There must be something extra special about that broom to distinguish it from all the others. . .and look at how happy it makes him to hear it!

Good idea, Finn. Throw away those nuts. I guess Finn isn’t a nut fan. . .

But he’s apparently a very forgiving person as he’s able to look the other way when he comes face-to-face with an escaping Lincoln.

So when Bellamy started his hallucination it was still light outside. Now it’s dark, which means the hallucinated 320 people have been haunting Bellamy for a while. No wonder he’s begging Jaha to end it by shooting him. (So did his mind completely make up 320 people? Because I doubt he would know all 320 of the people in the culling, let alone 320 people on the Ark, period.)

Jaha (hallucinated version of him) “Life is a fight. . .Live, breathe, suffer. . .You want the peace of death. You’re going to have to earn it. . .Fight back.” In other words: there’s no peace from running away. Only by facing what you don’t want to, living with what you’ve done, continuing on when you want to give up. Very fitting words, especially coming from Jaha.

If I’m not mistaken, (and I may be since it’s really late as I’m watching this) this is another first for Bellamy. While he’s saved Clarke’s life before, I think this is the first time he protects her. She’s only just learned how to shoot a gun and isn’t going to be very good at it. Which is one reason I think Bellamy starts to fight back. It’s not just his life on the line, but hers too and this is the beginning of him trying to protect and watch out for her. A seemingly unending task on his part.

I don’t know if it’s the lingering effects from the nuts or that he’s so beaten down that he has no energy or some combination of both, but he completely lets his guard down with Clarke as they lean against the tree to catch their breath. I honestly haven’t read the script to know for sure why he does it, but I do think that it’s her reaction to him (her understanding) that leads to his continuing it in the future.

“You may be a total ass half the time, but I need you. We all need you. None of us would’ve survived this place if it wasn’t for you.” She’s right and it’s nice to finally hear her say it.

“You want forgiveness, fine, I’ll give it to you. You’re forgiven, okay, but you can’t run, Bellamy. You have to come back with me. You have to face it.” Clarke sounding a lot like hallucinated Jaha right there.

“Like you faced your mom?” – This is what I like about Clarke and Bellamy together. They help each other face things. Most people won’t call them out, but they’ll call each other out. They let the other vent, breakdown and confess and it’s why theirs is a unique relationship.

Dun! Dun! Dun! Lincoln’s gone?! No way, Miller!

I always find it touching that Bellamy’s peace offering to Octavia is a blanket that he wraps around her shoulders. It doesn’t entirely work, but it’s still a sweet gesture.

Mr. Blake and Jaha coming face-to-face – I expected the tension but not Clarke’s speech.

“When you sent us down here, you sent us to die, but miraculously, most of us are still alive. In large part, that is because of him, because of Bellamy.” Just like their conversation outside the depot, she states this as a fact. This time with less emotion but she proves her point by looking over at him to let him know that she means it just as much at that moment as she did before. And as she continues you see him sit a little straighter and taller.

“He’s one of us, and he deserves to be pardoned of his crimes just like the rest of us.” Hear! Hear!

Yes!! And because of Clarke’s convincing and Bellamy’s negotiating skills, he is pardoned for telling Jaha who gave him the gun.

I mean, were we surprised that the Bad Guard Guy, Commander Wonderful, aka Commander Shumway was behind it? It doesn’t even deserve a “Dun! Dun! Dun!”

You know, when Kane’s telling you that you’re a disgrace. . .you’ve fallen pretty far.

Clarke’s “I trust him.” to Finn. What’s unspoken here is the “Not you.”

Finn – “You and Bellamy are leading us down a dangerous road. I wish you would’ve talked to me first.” Clarke – “I wish you talked to me about a lot of things, but you didn’t.” – Yeah, there’s that whole trust issue, Finn. Kind of hard to argue against when the other guy completely let his guard down with her.

ASDFJIO;AJIO;AJIO;AWTGI!!!!!!! God I hate that Diana woman. You should’ve known better, Commander Shumway.

Whoop! Whoop! There’s the credits! Thanks for reading through my re-watch!

#the 100 #cw the 100 #the 100 - day trip #the 100 - 1x08 #my gifs #Bellarke #Monty and jasper #marcus kane #thelonious jaha #abby griffin #raven reyes #lincoln #octavia blake #rewatch wednesday #spoilers #bellamy blake #clarke griffin

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myownsuperintendent · 7 years ago

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Fic: “While She Was Somewhere Being Free”

More than anything, Samantha doesn’t want to be trapped again. 1960′s AU, rated T. The title is from “Cactus Tree,” possibly the best Joni Mitchell song, but I’m indecisive. Also here at Ao3.

This is a companion piece to my earlier 1960′s AU piece, “How To Expand Your Mind;” I’d read that first of the two (it’s here), but you can probably get along fine without it.

.....

The first place she goes is a farm. A berry farm, because she sees the sign that says “PICKERS WANTED,” sees how many bushes there are, and figures that it’s something she can do where she won’t stick out too much. She says her name is Susan. She thinks she liked an actress with that name, back before.

She gets a sandwich with her day’s pay—there’s not enough mustard but it’s her sandwich. She spends the night sheltering under a tree on the farm, and she doesn’t even mind when it rains a little. She keeps that routine up for a few days, until the woman from the farm, Mrs. Thompson, sees her settling in, one night. “What’re you doing there, honey?” she asks. “Don’t you have any place else to go?”

“No, ma’am,” she says. She remembers that from somewhere: always be polite to adults.

“It’s Susan, isn’t it?” Mrs. Thompson says, and she nods. “How old are you, Susan?”

“I’m fourteen,” she says. She thinks it’s right.

Mrs. Thompson studies her and sighs. “Why don’t you come in with me?” she asks. “At least for tonight. It looks like it could storm.”

Back at the house, the Thompsons don’t ask her too many questions. She says her parents are gone, because they are, gone out of her mind. There isn’t anybody, she says. And they let her stay, and tonight turns into days and weeks and months. She helps out on the farm, earns her room and board and money besides. She saves it in a bag under her mattress. That’s all hers.

It all goes smoothly enough until she’s sixteen, and one day she and Mrs. Thompson are washing the dishes, and Mrs. Thompson says casually, in their course of their conversation, “We think of you as a daughter, you know.”

It’s wrong, it’s wrong, it’s wrong. She’s not their daughter. Being someone’s daughter means being part of their family, and that means you have to listen to them and do what they tell you to and stay where they tell you to. That would mean she’s stuck in this house now. Trapped again.

She counts the money in her bag that night. Then she goes to the bus depot, and soon she’s on her way west.

.....

She’s heard about San Francisco, about the Haight, so that’s where she goes. She gets a job as a waitress. She says her name is Scarlett. She likes that it’s a color.

She lives with a girl named Alice, who’s also out there on her own. Alice talks about her father a lot. He is a tool of the man. “So I couldn’t stand it anymore,” Alice says one night. “He’s such a pig. My whole family are pigs.” She takes a drag on her cigarette. “So I came here. What about you, Scarlett? Are your family a bunch of pigs too?”

She can’t answer that one. She’d like to be able to. Even if her family were a bunch of pigs, she’d like to know about it. She shrugs a little bit. “I guess so,” she says. “But I have a brother, and he’s cool.”

“Yeah?” Alice says. “What’s he like?”

“He’s older than me,” she says. “He’s got brown hair, and he teases me.” Alice is still looking at her, so she adds more. “He’s really smart. Really with it. We have great talks about everything. He’s not like everyone else, you know. He really cares about this world and what we’re doing to it.”

“How come you didn’t come out here together, then?” Alice asks.

“Oh, he’s going to,” she says. “Really soon. We’re going to live together, then.”

“I don’t even think you have a brother,” Alice says, later that year. She’s already moving then, going to live with some other girls who don’t steal her love beads, so to hell with Alice, but it still hurts to hear. She does have a brother. She knows she has a brother. Maybe not everything she’s said about him is true. He didn’t send her those Bob Dylan records; she doesn’t even know if he loves Bob Dylan. She doesn’t call him up when she says that’s what she’s doing: she just walks to the phone booth on the corner and sits there for a while and tries to see if she can remember anything. But he’s real.

“I do have a brother,” she says. “I do.”

.....

She meets Ray at a party. They have a long talk about how terrible the war is. She tells him her name is Summer. She knows a lot of girls who give themselves names like that.

Ray plays the guitar, and he’s a good kisser. Sometimes they smoke and listen to records together. They go to demonstrations. She loses her virginity on his lumpy futon.

She likes him. Likes him a lot until one day he introduces her to a friend of his: “This is Summer. She’s my old lady.” That’s too much. That means something. She doesn’t want to be anybody’s.

The Haight’s not that big, but it’s big enough to get lost in, if you try. She avoids their old haunts, finds new roommates, changes her hair. She doesn’t see Ray again. She did like the way he kissed. But that’s not enough.

.....

Tricia wants someone to paint. She poses for Tricia, lying back on her couch in a yellow dress with her hair falling around her, and after that they eat dinner together, and after that they kiss, and after that she spends the night. She tells Tricia her name is Shelley. She’s been reading Frankenstein, drawn to the idea of monstrous creations.

“Let’s not take this too seriously,” she says the next morning, wrapped in Tricia’s bedsheet. That seems to work for Tricia too. They don’t see each other all the time, just when Tricia wants to paint her, and usually it goes like the first time. But there’s no belonging to each other.

At a party one night at Tricia’s apartment, she takes LSD, and at first it’s just colors, like everyone’s talked about, colors and lights, bright bright lights, the lights are too bright, right in her eyes, and she sees someone reaching out for her, she thinks it must be her brother, and she stretches to grab his hand, stretches as hard as she can but she can’t reach him, it’s too far and she can’t see his face, she can’t see his face can’t remember his face can’t remember anything just more lights now bright bright too bright and someone is jabbing something into her it hurts and they’re all around her again those men and someone is jabbing something into her she wants it to stop she wants to die and the next thing she knows she’s lying there with her head in Tricia’s lap, and Tricia is stroking her hair.

She tries to sit up. “Woah,” Tricia says. “Shelley, baby, take it easy. You’re okay. You’re okay.” She picks up a class of water. “Drink a little, okay?”

She tries to. Her mouth is dry. The light is outside the windows now. “What happened?” she asks.

“Bad trip,” Tricia says. “Real bad.” She strokes her hair again. “You’re okay now, though.”

She sips at the water. “I thought…” she says and breaks off. No one needs to know what she thought.

“Yeah, I know,” Tricia says. “You were freaking out.”

“What do you mean, freaking out?” she asks.

“You kept saying something about tests,” Tricia says. “Something about wanting the tests to stop. And the lights being too bright and things hurting. And you were asking where your brother was.”

“Oh,” she says. And she tries to shrug and smile and say that’s weird, she doesn’t know why she would say any of that, but some of the words don’t make it out, and the ones that do make it out she doesn’t think Tricia believes.

The next time Tricia wants to paint her she says she’s busy. And the next. And the next.

.....

Summer of Love, but not everyone is all that loving: some jerky guys are hassling two teenage girls who look like they just got here five minutes ago. “Get lost,” she says, coming up and putting her arm around one of the girls, and she must sound tough, she guesses, because they do, and she turns and smiles at the girls. “Hi, I’m Suzanne,” she says. She really loves the Judy Collins song.

One girl is Linda and the other one is Donna, and they’re both sixteen, and they did just get here today, on a bus from Sacramento. “We wanted to be part of it all,” Linda says, “the whole scene, you know?”

“Yeah,” she says. “I know.”

“How long have you been here?” Linda asks.

“About three years now,” she says.

“That’s so nifty,” Donna says.

“Do you two have somewhere to stay?” she asks. “Do you know anybody here?”

“We know you, Suzanne,” Donna says, and her eyes are big and innocent, and she looks absolutely sure that nothing bad could ever, ever happen to her.

She takes them back with her for the night, because what else can she do? Her roommates don’t even comment; there’s always someone crashing there now, someone who wants to check the place out, hear the music, turn on, tune in, drop out. The two of them hang on her every word; she’s in charge here now, she realizes with a start. She wonders why that doesn’t make her feel better.

The next morning, she takes them to the Switchboard so they can find somewhere else to stay. They hug her goodbye, and she hugs them back: it’s easier to like people when you’re not stuck with them.

She doesn’t like being stuck with any person or any place (although she thinks she wouldn’t mind being stuck with her brother). Right now she thinks she might be stuck with San Francisco. Sometimes she thinks she should stay, because it’s a good place to get lost in, safer than other places. But even that’s not so true anymore, as the summer wears on and turns into fall, as the overcrowding becomes emptiness. She goes to the Death of the Hippie funeral. She thinks it’s time to move on.

.....

She’s at an antiwar rally in DC. She took the bus out here with a bunch of other people. She’s told them her name is Serena. Peace is on her mind these days.

They’re at the Pentagon when she sees him with some other soldiers. It’s Jeff. Jeff who was her…well, he wasn’t her brother, because she already has a brother. He was something, though. Jeff who was her something.

A part of her thinks Of course he would be here, of course he would be with them, you can’t trust anyone, anyone at all, you should know that by now. And a part of her remembers the two of them playing together, how they tied one end of a jump rope to a tree and he turned the other end and she jumped and jumped so high she thought she might be able to fly away. But most of her feels cold and sweaty because he’s looking in her direction. She ducks down behind her sign. WAR IS NOT HEALTHY FOR CHILDREN AND OTHER LIVING THINGS. She elbows past people, mutters she doesn’t know what, but there are so many of them. She’ll never get out of this crowd. She’ll never get out.

She doesn’t know how she ends up further down the sidewalk, dodging into a doorway, still holding the sign in front of her face. She shivers and shivers.

.....

“Hello again!” she says, smiling, as she joins the seemingly endless line for the toilets. It’s the woman she helped up from the mud yesterday (it’s so slippery here), soon after she got to Woodstock. “I’m Skye, by the way,” she adds. She likes the idea of always being outside.

The other woman smiles back. “I’m Dana,” she says. “Thanks again for yesterday.”

“Oh, no problem!” she says. “How are you liking the music?”

“It’s really nice,” Dana says. “To be honest, I wasn’t sure how much I was going to like this—some friends talked me into coming. It’s not really my scene. But it’s actually a lot of fun. Even if it is muddy.” She glances down at her jeans, which are still dirty from yesterday. “How about you?”

“Oh, I love it,” she says. “I love anything like this. Did you come with a lot of friends?”

“Yeah,” Dana says. “There’s eight of us all together. All in one van, so it’s a little crazy.”

She laughs. “I came with a bunch of other people too,” she says. “So I know what you mean.”

“I do like them,” Dana says, “most of the time. But, you know, there’s always something. Like we have these two friends who don’t seem to understand that you can’t have sex in a van with six other people.”

“Oof,” she says. “But I guess if there’s nowhere else to go…”

“Then they can wait until we get home,” Dana says. “I came with my husband, and we’re controlling ourselves.”

“You’re married?” She sees the ring.

“Yeah,” Dana says, smiling. “Just got married last month, actually. After I graduated.” She’s scanning her face. “Speaking of which…do I know you?”

No. “I don’t think so,” she says. She can’t smile anymore.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Dana says. “I was just thinking we might have gone to college together or something. But you must just look like someone else.” She shrugs, smiling.

She lets out a breath. “Yeah, I didn’t go to college,” she says. “So I must.” Dana doesn’t seem to think anything more of it and starts talking about the music again, and she’s able to join in too, after a few more minutes.

“See you, Dana!” she says, when they get to the end of the line. Dana waves goodbye, and she flashes her a peace sign before moving off.

They bump into each other again, the last morning, when everyone’s heading home. “Hi,” Dana says, when she sees her. “Skye, right? How’d you like the rest of the festival?”

“Oh, it was great,” she says. “All the music…all the people…” Plenty of people, but no one who really knows her: that’s the best kind of place. Somewhere you can meet and part, connect for a moment and pass on. No one who can make a claim. Neither lonely nor trapped. “How about you?”

“I had fun,” Dana says. “I’m looking forward to getting home, though. I’m starting medical school at the beginning of September, so there’s a lot to do.”

“Medical school?” she says. “That’s really neat.”

“Thanks,” Dana says. “Oh, here come my friends. Well, goodbye, Skye. Have a good trip home.”

“You too, Dana,” she says. She hugs her goodbye, but then she regrets it, because she doesn’t like the way Dana is looking at her face. She pulls back. “Bye,” she says quickly, and she turns and pushes off into the crowd.

There are so many people that it takes a while to get anywhere. She thinks she hears a voice calling after her, a voice calling, “Wait!” But if there is a voice, she ignores it. She wants to keep going.

#my fic #the x files #samantha mulder #1960s au #todayinfic

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bdstation · 5 years ago

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Sep.

Guest Room

This is what a long weekend with the full Hyman crew looks like. Dad outlasted both the boys. Maybe that’s because he got to spend the weekend at the drafting table.

The weekend started off chill. We drove almost all the way across the city before realizing we’d left the drawings at the house. Critical mistake. So by the time we got to Healdsburg, the right thing to do was really just have a glass of wine and then head over to the Michilen starred dinner Dad had booked for us.

Old Healdsburg meets new Healdsburg. The rooftop bar had a full garden and gorgeous view of the rolling hills. Jim had forgotten his sunglasses and the waiter quickly offered him a selection of them. The toilets were heated. 4 hours later we had eaten and drank away the pre design charette jitters.

And those jitters weren’t for not. The problem with having an architect over to your house is that they see everything. Every outlet without a plate. Every whole that needs patching. Every door that’s missing. Or window without a screen. Shiny paint instead of mat. Entire walls that aren’t touching the ceiling. Cords running to nowhere. Places where the wood is rotting and ceiling is likely leaking...ok so a lot of this is unique to Bonny Doon Station but you get the point.

Jim and I already have a new normal. I’d covered the floor of bedroom 2 with a tarp because after pulling the carpet up I realized we had a small bit of asbestos tile under there + about an inch of dirt and who knows what else. The original plan was to get someone in there to do the official California asbestos removal but the guy never showed so we opted for option 2: seal it up. I put on a hazmat suit and gas mask. Got the shop vac out. And sucked up all the dirt and dust and rat pellets. Then we covered the floor with the cheapest vinyl home depot sells, duct taped it to the wall so no asbestos particles could come out and carpeted the damn thing. Throw in a wall clean + paint job + incense and boom - new room!

Throughout the weekend there was a bit of scope creep. Like when Dad decided we needed to fix the leaking toilet. It started out with a simple Home depot run and inner toilet replacement parts but quickly escalated to needing a sawza.

The other addition that was desperately needed was Kelly’s organizational skills. While I was using the kitchen cupboards to store our growing arsenal of cleaning supplies and tools, Jim was determined to have everything on the table where he could see them. Kelly solved the problem with propper racks and buckets and vuajla! We have structure to the chaos. Also. This woman hustles. I got out painted and out cleaned by her all weekend!

My highlight was the drawings Dad did. We had a temporary drafting table set up on saw horses that got the job done. By the end of the weekend Dad had drawn the existing floor plan...which actually doesn’t look so bad on paper, the pumphouse site...if only we had clean water coming out of the well, and a vision for what the house wants to be. A little visioning certainly helps keep the momentum up.

There were also great breaks for beer. Like the live music we caught at my favorite brewery...until Bruce tried to bit some lady and got us kicked out. And you can always count on a weekend ending at Mcrostie to seal the deal.

We left absolutely wrecked. I had to take the next week off of everything. Slept 11 hours a night the next 4 days. And then it was time to turn it back around and head back up!

This time with our first friends Rowin and Vick + baby Frankie sleepover. That’s how you know you’re really making progress! It was nice having Frankie to slow us down a bit. With the four of us we got through a serious daddy long leg / cob web / wasp nest (inside...seriously) clean out + painted the biggest and tallest wall in the house. Plus we hung some shower curtains up where doors should be and had the electrician ground the box that was waiting to kill us all. The biggest improvement was Jim’s demanding we put custom window screens in. I thought the $500 was a huge waste of money and was I wrong. Holy shit. No more wasps in the house! Screens are amazing.

Thank god for the wineries. There is nothing better than getting after it all day, taking a shower (with your mouth closed so you don’t get ecoli) and then bouncing over to yet another gorgeous vineyard with your crew for a lightly chilled pinot noir.

It was all I need to head into this week guns blazing. I got my spreadsheet out and began the GC hunt. Researched about 10 of them, emailed 8, interviewed 4 and we are on our way to a shortlist. My current panic attack is the $700 - $2000 a square foot quote they are all giving me which is making this whole idea seem totally unrealistic.

On the other hand, things are starting to come together. The money in escrow for electrical is now spent and requirements checked off the list. We’ve got drawings for the pumphouse with the surveyor coming out to mark property boundaries and concrete contractor coming to give us quote.

Even the well situation is becoming more interesting. On the plus side the water geologist reviewed historical drill sites and suspects we may have alternative well sites. Next step is to test soil. Also we likely have a spring under the big grass bump in the paddock...which Jim thinks he can drill out with an Ore? Water is the new gold. The down side is we can’t dredge the well because there is an oak tree root clogging it...which Jim thinks he can cut out with a log cutter thing that goes 25 ft down. If Jim keeps all 10 fingers and toes by the end of this project I’ll consider it a win. The saga continues.

My biggest take away this week is the more we can do ourselves throughout this whole process the more fun we are going to have. I’m also getting more practice with ambiguity and trying not to react to every high and low because its all constantly changing.

The biggest moment of joy I had was feeling so happy to see Jim totally in his element. I’ve never seen him wanting to learn like he’s wanting to right now. This project brings out what I love best about him. His independent spirit, I can do anything confidence, and eternal optimism. I’d buy this house again just to give space and time to nurture that.

This is Dad’s “what the shit!?” face. I think the bathroom was thinking the same thing. Within an hour or two Dad had ripped out the bathroom toilet, vanity, sinc, shower and flooring.

To be fair - I thought this bathroom was fully condemned. It was seriously disgusting. I wouldn’t even go in there. The floor was covered in mud, the toilet didn’t work, the shower was falling off the wall and covered in mold and backed up drain gunk. The walls were painted gray with a layer of sparkle that sort of looked like nail polish glitter. Sink and vanity were holding on by a thread.

As is typically with this house - things below the surface were a bit wonky as well. The shower drain wasn’t the standard distance from the wall so the previous owner cut out the bottom of the floor and slid the shower tray under the wall. The result? Rotted through floor boards. Those puppies had to be totally ripped out.

So the job of the weekend? About 15 trips to Home Depot. Power tools. Plumbing. Floorboards. New vinyl. New toilet. Strapping the water heater to the wall (safety?). Painting (3 coats to cover the glitter). New shower. New sinc. New vanity. And voila. Bathroom #2 is online.

But not without a little scope creep. To be fair weren’t supposed to replace the shower this weekend but who could resist. The real scope creep is when Dad had me pull the piece of wood off the ceiling in the hallway to reveal some good old black mold where a leak in the roof clearly rotted all the way through. Lovely.

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dnodes18 · 5 years ago

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Ahoy Matey – A Pirate Themed Halloween https://ift.tt/2njb3K7

Halloween is around the corner, and families are getting ready to scare up some fun. Jessie Ecker of Eye In The Detail created the ultimate pirate ship in her yard with the help of a few Home Depot products.

This is my first year participating in The Home Depot’s Halloween Style Challenge. When I was invited to partner with The Home Depot for this Challenge, I was beyond excited and a little nervous. This is my first year really decorating for Halloween. The Halloween decor at my house normally consists of white pumpkins. My kids, on the other hand, could not wait to get started. They have begged me to decorate for Halloween for as long as I can remember. So, I was super excited to finally give them the Halloween of their dreams.

Designing the Space

First up was designing the space. My theme for the Halloween Style Challenge is pirates. I always start with a focal point when designing any space. This time was no different. I wanted to make something special for this style challenge, so I opted to build a pirate ship as my main focal point. Yes, you heard me correctly, a pirate ship! Once the plans for my ship were drawn out, I chose where I wanted it in my front yard. Next, I decided on what other decorations I would like around it. In my head, I envisioned some kind of dock with water all around it.

Time to go Shopping

The Home Depot has all sorts of pirate themed decor for Halloween. Because I wanted this to be a fun experience for the whole family, we all went shopping together to pick out our decorations. Of course, I had my design in mind and all drawn out, but my kids had a completely different idea in mind. Isn’t that the way it always works? I’m glad I had a theme because, otherwise, my decorations would be all over the place. The Home Depot has witches, monsters, inflatables, skeletons and so much more.

In the end, we chose a pre-lit pirate ship with skeleton, an animated steering wheel and a set of 2 skeleton pirates . None of that comes together without a fog machine, fog Juice and a fog tube. We even went back last minute and picked up a thunder light projector and a few blue flood lights.

Let’s Get Building

Once I got started building my pirate ship, I realized I wanted to make something that would last way longer than just the Halloween season. So, I decided to build the pirate ship into an outdoor playground space that I will move to my backyard after the holidays. How you ask? Now, that’s a problem for future me, but at least my kids can enjoy it all year round.

The ship has three sections. There’s a standing space with a pirate flag pole on the front deck. The center of the ship has a section that I will turn into a sand box and a bench for sitting. The back of the deck has stairs leading to it, creating a higher spot for standing. Under that space, I cut out spots for cannons that I built with a black PVC pipe and plumbing pieces. The top space has a ledge for support. It also has a location for the ship’s steering wheel and a spy scope. On the back of the ship, I built a mast using 1′ X 2′ s, old curtains for the cloth and brown twine rope.

Supplies

I used pressure treated deck boards and secured them together using 3 inch deck screws. On occasion, I used my kreg jig for extra support. I also used a miter saw, circular saw, jig saw and clamps. When I was done building, I debated whether or not I should paint the ship or stain it. I ended up staining the whole thing black with Varathrane’s Charred Wood Accelerator. It creates a charred wood look that was perfect for a pirate ship. The whole thing cost under $200.

If you are not up to building your own pirate ship, The Home Depot has the most amazing 9.5ft tall pirate ship with a skeleton pirate, animated steering wheel and pirate flag. You can’t beat that! I saw it in the store display it was very impressive.

Styling the Space

My favorite part of the project was putting everything together and adding the finishing touches. It’s those final details that really make a space incredible. I added blue tarps on the ground the ground to resemble water, and I used old pallets, 2′ X 4’s and brown twine rope to make my dock. The pirate sign was made with leftover wood scraps, stain and white paint. This was such an easy project that really added to the whole scene. Skulls, rats, swords and gold coins scattered into spaces really finished everything off.

Final Reveal

So here it is, my Home Depot Halloween Style Challenge in all its glory. I took photos at a few different times of the day so you can see how everything looks during the day and at night. All my little pirates had to join in on all the fun too. Ahoy Matey! All Hands on Deck!!!

Special thanks to The Home Depot for inviting me to participate in the 2019 Halloween Style Challenge. Building, styling and making my kids’ dream Halloween yard was a blast. I put in a lot of hard work, but the end result was absolutely worth it! I am beyond grateful for this incredible opportunity.

Find more Halloween and Harvest decor at the Home Depot. Searching for more inspiration? Check out our other Halloween and Harvest Style Challenge posts here!

The post Ahoy Matey – A Pirate Themed Halloween appeared first on The Home Depot Blog.

Jessie Ecker

#The Home Depot Blog

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bonnydoonstation · 5 years ago

Photo

This is what a long weekend with the full Hyman crew looks like. Dad outlasted both the boys. Maybe that’s because he got to spend the weekend at the drafting table.

We left absolutely wrecked. I had to take the next week off of everything. Slept 11 hours a night the next 4 days. And then it was time to turn it back around and head back up!

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tsgnorthwestarkansas · 5 years ago

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Meet Fayetteville Tennis Fanatic, Podcast Host and The Scout Guide Northwest Arkansas Associate Editor, Jennifer Esty!

We are beyond excited to add a new member to The Scout Guide Northwest Arkansas team — our Associate Editor, Jennifer Esty! Fyi, you will quickly learn that Jenn is known for always having the best concert tickets and the latest local intel making her the perfect Scout for all things local! We recently asked Jenn, who’s home base is Fayetteville, a few questions about what she enjoys most about The Scout Guide, what’s on her radar, just how she got so good at tennis and what are some of her local loves in Northwest Arkansas.

Why were you drawn to The Scout Guide?

I’ve enjoyed getting to meet the makers and owners of Northwest Arkansas’ small businesses through seeing their faces and brands highlighted in the last three volumes of TSG Northwest Arkansas and following along on TSG’s social media and blog (some of Jenn’s favorite local loves to shop are Lola [above] and Shindig Paperie [below] in Fayetteville). Through this experience, I’ve come to realize that TSG makes a community out of living local. Community is super important to me. Plus, it’s our livelihood. My husband and I have our own landscape business, so when we see the local community thrive that’s a good sign for us. The Scout Guide has found a way to do that all organically by connecting community members to local businesses, other businesses to each other, and showing how our local businesses are the foundation of our community.

What do you hope to accomplish as TSG Northwest Arkansas’ associate editor?

First of all, I am so excited to work with Rebekah Lawrence, the editor of TSG Northwest Arkansas. She has such a talent for connecting people! I’m hoping I can complement that and add my fresh perspective. A lot of these TSG businesses I love and frequent are not as well known, or are just fresh on the scene, so not many people know about them yet. I’d love to bring new businesses in to the TSG family and further connect to TSG member business network. One of the first things I can’t wait to start content-wise is an ongoing blog series called “On Our Radar.” This will be a curated list of new happenings and experiences that people don’t know about yet. We’ll also include scouting new arrivals and must-haves at local shops and sharing some of our “bests” for eating and drinking local. If you know me, you know I’m always sharing my favorite places and tips for local living, so with this regular feature I’ll be able to really get the word out.

What’s on your radar right now?

There are two new places in Rogers that I’m planning to check out very soon and report back on. I’ve been hearing amazing things about the newly opened restaurant Heirloom. It’s an intimate 20-seat restaurant (by reservation only) in downtown Rogers sourcing locally-grown ingredients served as a multi-course prefix dinner experience and created by local chef/owner Jason Paul (there is no menu!). Who doesn’t love the sound of that? I’m also dying to get out to Fox Trail Distillery where they are distilling, aging and bottling small batch spirits on site right here in Northwest Arkansas (I can’t wait for a tour of the distillery and to enjoy some chill time over cocktails at The Bar at Fox Trail!).

What are some of the local establishments you frequent daily?

First: I love coffee. I have an office in my home but I have to get up and out to really get work done, otherwise I end up doing home stuff. So you can find me often at Mama Carmen’s, Little Bread Company (I’m a huge fan of their Everything Bagels pictured above) or Arsaga’s Depot all in Fayetteville, or Onyx in Bentonville with my laptop on hand. I’m a total sun junky so on a nice day I love to be outside as much as possible (I especially love some outdoor patio time at Wood Stone Craft Pizza in Fayetteville).

Where do you like to go when you’re not working? My husband Wade and I love to go to Vault in Fayetteville for cocktails. It’s in an old bank building, but it’s really small and modern with a speakeasy sort of feel and amazing mixologists. We also love to meet a big group of friends at Prairie St. Bar & Tap in Fayetteville, with garage doors that open and the food truck Big Sexy Food out front. It’s family and dog friendly, which is really important to us.

Tell us more about your dogs!

We actually have two dogs and a bird. The dogs are Gus Fred and Moose, and my son’s bird (a girl) is named Archie. Moose goes to work with my husband every day and so he is our guest of honor when we meet up for lunch, which is why finding dog-friendly patios is so important to me.

Can you tell us more about your family and what you like to get into on the weekends?

We’re never bored living here, that’s for sure. I have two sons, so keeping busy and active is really important. My oldest, Ben, just graduated from high school (he’s off to college soon), and Oliver is going to sixth grade next year. On the weekends we like to hit the Ozarks, either riding bikes on the Razorback Greenway, kayaking, or our family favorite, floating on the river. My boys love when we end any activity with Reubens at Hugo’s in Fayetteville.

We hit the Fayetteville Farmers Market on the downtown square every Saturday from April through October. My favorite market booth is Dripping Springs Garden (above: Jenn selects her favorite bundle of locally grown blooms.) They are flower overload! You turn the corner and you can just smell the flowers! Every week you never know what you’ll find at the market.

You‘re also kind of a concert fanatic. What are some of your recent favorite shows?

I’m always going to see live music! We have a lot of incredible venues in NWA, like The Walmart Amp in Rogers, where recently The Killers and Leon Bridges performed. In Fayetteville, if we want to keep it old school and more intimate then we head to George’s Majestic Lounge on Dickson Street. We’ll see a lot of the bands we used to listen to in college, but we also recently saw Cold War Kids. I’ll also travel for live music. This year I saw Beyonce in Chicago and Kendrick Lamar in Dallas. I’m also a huge fan of the Fayetteville Roots Festival that happens in August every year.

We know that whenever we can’t find you, it’s safe to assume you’re playing tennis. How did you get into it?

It was post-holiday winter of 2016 and a friend and I were sitting around drinking wine and eating cheese, and we were like, “Ok it’s time to do something physical.” She invited me to try cardio tennis, which I had never heard of before. I dusted off my old tennis racquet that I had since college and joined her. It was just the best time. We went back the next day, and the day after and the day after that. We were really not very good at first, but we played every single day, sometimes twice a day. Then we decided we wanted to take lessons. And I have got to say, we have gotten pretty good! She’s still my doubles partner and one of my closest friends! We play four times a week at the Fayetteville Athletic Club, and I’ve met such a strong network of awesome women through tennis, too. Image (above) shot on location at Mount Sequoyah Center tennis courts; fashion by Lola and styling by Hope Cavell.

Speaking of strong networks of women, we are so excited and intrigued by your podcast, Company Club Radio. Can you tell us a little bit about it?

Company Club is an idea created by Jade Terminella, serial entrepreneur and dear friend, to create a club house for the modern woman in NWA. Company Club will have a physical space, which is going to be stunning, in downtown Bentonville in the Haxton District. Members can go to learn, work, socialize or escape the everyday of the home or office. It’s not a co-working space, although I plan to set myself there with my laptop often. It’s more about a space to be productive, to conference and of course, drink coffee on tap. Outside of the physical club house, its purpose is to inspire through carefully curated experiences, education and community. I’m hosting Company Club Radio, a podcast that we are recording at Haxton Road Studios (above, Jenn hosts a segment of the Company Club Radio podcast). The podcast will highlight women in our community but also provide resources and education. We also want to entertain, so it should be a fun little project.

“I would really love to invite people to connect with TSG Northwest Arkansas on Insta and let us know what’s ‘on your radar’ so we can share our fave local spots and happenings.” – Jenn Esty

Feel free to share “what’s on your radar” and how you LIVE. LOVE. LOCAL. in Northwest Arkansas by emailing Jenn at [email protected].

#livelovelocal #scouted #tsgnwarkansas #thescoutguide #local #supportlocal #nwarkansas #northwestarkansas

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youredirtykels · 8 years ago

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I got randomly overwhelmed with long distance nickels feelings.

On paper the idea hadn’t sounded so bad. It was what they had done before after all. Kelly in his cabin in colorado. Nick on his boat in Boston.

They didn’t really discuss it. Neither of them wanted to bring it up while they were at the hotel Kelly booked near the bus depot. (Nick had to give him points for foresight, there was no way they would have made it back to either of their homes.) They didn’t discuss it on the trip back to Boston when Kelly came with Nick. They didn’t discuss it in the few days Kelly stayed on Nick’s boat with him the first few nights when his nightmares were bad. They didn’t discuss it the night before Kelly’s flight. There wasn’t really anything to discuss. It was just delaying the inevitable. Kelly had to return to Colorado. Kelly love his camp. Kelly built his cabin with his own hands. It was a part of him. Nick loved being a cop. He needed the sea and an anchor that could always be drawn up. And Boston, the city he returned to even though it almost killed him.

It wouldn’t be so bad they reassured each other. It was the same thing they’d been doing for years anyway.

The first nights apart Kelly woke up alone in the cabin and in the middle of the night he almost forgot Nick wasn’t still in the desert. He was almost back asleep before he remembered he could call him if he needed to. Nick would be sleeping though, and just the thought that Nick would pick up was enough to put him back to sleep.

Nick woke up on the boat. Reaching out for Kelly. But finding empty blankets was better than rolling off a cot in the desert. The gentle rocking of his boat put him at ease enough to fall back asleep.

It wasn’t all bad at first. Good morning texts. Falling asleep with phones clutched in hand. Skype sex.

When Nick couldn’t sleep Kelly was only a text away. In those moments the time difference was on their side, it was almost a friend. Kelly looked forward to checking his phone in the morning, knowing he would have a message from Nick, and Nick made it through the mornings waiting for Kelly to wake up. They’d kept in touch on the phone before, but now the vibration in his pocket at work spread a warmth through Nick that had nothing to do with the dirty texts Kelly sent him.

Falling asleep to Kelly talking about the progress he was making at the camp always made Nick happy. He could picture Kelly’s smile when talked about it, and he could picture Kelly with the kids. Kelly loved listening to Nick watch baseball, his yelling in Kelly’s ear made it feel like he was there. And pestering him for his latest crazy theories about his cases, and listening to the long tangents of trivia they inspired.

Kelly loved knowing what Nick had for breakfast, or that Hagan tried to give him coffee again. Nick laughed when Kelly told him how he’d spilled his coffee while trying to lock his door. Or that he’d burnt the pasta again (honestly Kels it’s just boiling water I don’t know how you mess that up) Because no matter how little the details, hearing them was almost like being there.

But there were also nights where it was bad. Where a simple joke of come over made Kelly’s insides ache. And his stomach growl. Nick’s dinner had looked really good. Where I really fucking miss you just wasn’t enough. Days where Nick found himself eyeing M&M cookies and thinking he should bring some home for Kelly before realizing he would have to send them across several states to do so.

It’s sweet that Nick stays up late to talk to Kelly on nights that he doesn’t have to be up late. But Kelly beings to worry Nick isn’t getting enough sleep. Or feels guilty when he knows Nick is waiting up for him but his friends invite him out after work at the camp. Nick always tells him to go even if it means he falls asleep early and misses Kelly when he gets home. Kelly leaves him a nice message telling him he’s glad he got much needed sleep but Nick’s still sad he missed him. The timing just doesn’t seem to work out anymore.

Nights where Nick was at the office late on a case and Kelly had to go to bed early to be at the camp in the mornings. Times where Nick was out at the bar with people from work, or Kelly was at dinner with friends from camp. Days where simply missing each other turns into frustration. Where Nick finds himself staring longingly at the photos on his walls and Kelly clutches his pillow just a little tighter in his sleep. Nick googling airline tickets for the next flight to Colorado and sighing defeatedly. Kelly out on his deck with a joint he’d rather be sharing, asking siri how far it is to Boston and getting in an argument with his phone when it tells him the miles.

A week here, a weekend there. It sucks. It leaves them wondering how they’d ever thought it was okay before. How they’d gotten by for years with only phone calls and monthly sidewinder visits. The truth is they hadn’t. The emptiness Kelly feels when Nick hangs up the phone is the same he used to feel heading back to Colorado after a weekend with the team. They’re just aware of what it means now.

Those weeks together somehow make it worse. A tease at what they could have. But there is still a safety net. Kelly has his cabin. Nick has his boat. As much as they want a life together, they still love their lives apart. Neither wants to give theirs up, although they both would if the other asked, but they don’t want to ask it either. Boston and the Fiddler are a part of Nick that Kelly loves. Just like the woods and the camp are a part of Kelly that Nick loves.

#nickels #cutandrunnetwork #cut & run #sidewinder #Nick O'Flaherty #kelly abbott #i legit forgot i wrote this #lets see if anyone still pays attention to this blog #ldr #my writing #my stuff #my fic #my headcanons

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electricdazemag · 8 years ago

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Black Top Lines: Interview & Review

by Erin Christie

Black Top Lines, an alternative punk band hailing from Norwalk, Connecticut, is comprised of vocalist Julia Breen, guitarists Justin Graff and Angelica Martin, bassist Mateo Roldan, and drummer Asha Locke. This past Saturday, February 11th, the foursome put on their second live gig with another amazing local act, Anxious, at the infamous Darien Depot in Darien, CT. Upon entering the venue, it was clear that this was bound to be a night no one there would ever forget. As the night wore on, the air was filled with laughter, the sounds of joyous reunions and “long time, no see’s,” killer tunes, and light-hearted banter, each second leading up to the well- anticipated set.

As Black Top Lines took the stage, surrounded by friends, family, and other familiar faces, they appeared to be at ease, at home, and ready to knock everyone’s socks off--collectively a fear that they were certainly able to achieve. Despite this being only the second live performance within their career, it was a show unlike any other, one where the true heart, passion, and drive of each member was blatantly present within each chord progression, chorus, and tempo- change. The audience drew out their cellphones and lighters, swayed to the rhythm, and sang along to each song throughout the set, much of which consisted of various covers from bands and artists such as Paramore, PVRIS, Halsey, and even a spontaneous rendition of Smash Mouth’s hit, “All Star,” which drew a great amount of laughter from the audience and band alike. Of the two incredible original songs that BTL performed, the final song was surely powerful, an anthem lined with anger and aggression, one explaining that a woman’s body and what they wear in no sense justifies objectification and cat-calling as explained through lead- singer, Julia’s, inspiring and beyond powerful closing speech, encouraging women to stand and speak up for themselves in the face of oppression. The entire set was one that radiated positive, light, and warmth, managing to leave the night singed with a perfect sense of euphoria which was truly a beautiful sight to behold.

Though Black Top Lines’ career has just begun, it is without a doubt that within the next coming months, their talent will be able to shine through, allowing them to elevate to heights that they’ve never reached before and gain the recognition and love that they truly deserve.

Following their gig, Electric Daze had the wonderful opportunity to sit down with Julia, Mateo, Angelica, Asha, and Justin to discuss their aspirations, hopes for the future of Black Top Lines, and unapologetic love for their fans and each other.

Electric Daze: In regards to music, have you always been interested in playing? When did you realize that you wanted to start a band and/or turn to music professionally?

Justin: Okay, well, I come last.

[Everyone laughs]

Julia: So, basically, I met Asha last year and we had talked about how we both wanted to be in a band and that just never happened. This year, I still wanted to be in a band and I decided to text Asha since we both wanted to do it freshman year, and I asked her “Do you want to be in a band with me?” and she immediately responded “FUCK YES!” in all caps.”

Asha: I think it was like a Sunday night.

Julia: We practiced like once at her house after that. I later texted Angelica about it and she didn’t even know she was in the band until probably two weeks later but she was!

Angelica: I remember we were in science class and we had been coming up with band names and logos and it suddenly hit me… wait, I’m in this!

Mateo: And then here’s where I came in. Angelica had asked me if I wanted to be in the band and she was basically hunting me down, telling me that I had to join because she wouldn’t do it alone.

Asha: and then, Justin came along.

Justin: Yeah, I came to the last show. I had texted one of my friends that I wanted to be in a band and suddenly, like two weeks later, I was in.

Asha: You’re welcome [laughs]

ED: Did you have any strong musical influence when you were growing up? Who would you say has inspired you the most to either pursue music further or travel down the path that you have in terms of sound, genre, etc?

Justin: About half of my family is drawn towards art and the other half is drawn more toward music, so at the same time that I was being pushed toward art, I was taking music lessons. I had always wanted to be like my dad and my mom so I was really conflicted- I didn’t know whether to choose music or art for a while.

Angelica: It’s sort of the same thing with me- I think half of my dad’s side plays music (I’m not going to get into numbers because that’s a lot) [laughs]. I’ve been playing orchestra for about eight years but I wasn’t really interested in playing orchestra so when Julia asked me if I wanted to be in the band and said that they needed a guitarist, I was like “cool, I kinda know how to play the guitar!”

Asha: I think my biggest musical influence would probably be my dad because he’s a rapper so I’ve always gone to him and asked him for help with everything like “I don’t know how to do this band stuff I need your help.” And my mom’s been a DJ so if I didn’t choose music, it probably would’ve been weird.

Mateo: And for me, my brother has been a huge influence because he started playing guitar out of nowhere—I thought “Nope! Six strings are too many for me so why don’t I play bass?” And that’s exactly why I chose that.

ED: This is slightly stereotypical but where did your band name, Black Top Lines, come from and what does it mean?

Angelica: Asha, take it away!

Asha: Yeah so it was probably seven in the morning and I was on the bus on my way to school, hating life as I usually do, and I thought that I might as well think of some band names. I pretty much would always come up with some ideas here and there. So I had been looking down at the street, which was a black top, and the lines on the street and it sort of just hit me! I had the idea in my head already but it had been “Black Top Lives,” because I feel like there are so many people that use and cross the street daily so that inspired me in a way. There’s so many people on this planet and they all have different stories.

ED: What is your usual songwriting process? Do all of you have certain roles that you take or does it shift from time to time? When you write, where do you draw most of your inspiration from?

Julia: Yeah, so with the first original that we wrote, Mateo had written a really awesome bassline and Asha wrote all of the lyrics.

Angelica: I think she tried to record it on her phone beforehand to get it to work—I think we still have it! We had just tried to play around with everything and see what sounded best and I guess, from there, it just kind of happened?

Justin: Yeah, I think I kind of procrastinated the whole time. I started learning the bassline and two practices later, I just came in an improvised. I just self- taught myself by watching Angelica play. I remember hearing Julia’s first song and suggesting that we played it a different way be she said “No. I don’t like that. It doesn’t sound like my song!”

Julia: I wrote the last song that we played [laughs]. I mean, I play the guitar a little bit but I don’t really know the music terminology or the scales so I really just wrote the song through imagining what it would sound like and composing it mentally. Everyone is super talented so it really just fell into place through adding everyone’s different ideas.

ED: Have you been working on anything recently?

Asha: Yeah, actually! We have a song in the works that I wrote a while ago so watch out for that!

ED: I’m sure it’s a bit nerve-wracking to perform in front of crowds—have you found it to be that way or do you feel relatively calm in terms of live performances? Are there any pre- show rituals that you have to hopefully ease your nerves?

Angelica: Oh my god! I’ve been waiting for this!

Asha: So we have a pre- show ritual that we do before every show.

Mateo: So many people know about it and they always put it on their Snapchat stories.

Asha: We huddle in a circle like we’re a football team and we just sing All Star [by Smash Mouth] and so everyone gets really hype. It’s really funny.

Angelica: I think it gets rid of a lot of my nervous energy.

Asha: It adds onto mine, though, I don’t know why. I’m usually really fine all day until like five minutes before the show starts but this show, I was just worrying all day [laughs]

Justin: I was really calm today until right before we went on.

Mateo: What basically happens for me is that I get super nervous right before we play but when we all walk onto the stage, or platform, or wherever we’re playing, I hear everyone screaming and chanting for us and that calms me down.

Angelica: I think it really helps that the crowd is usually made up of a ton of our friends so even if we screw up, we know that they’ll love us anyway [laughs]. It’s really reassuring in that sense.

ED: What have been your most memorable show/ performance?

Angelica: I think our last show here [the Darien Depot] was the most memorable for me. A lot of our friends had organized fan projects and it was really cool. I think during Roman Holiday, they had held up colored lights and organized them to make a pride flag. And during our last song, we had had confetti. We also met Justin that night so I mean, it has to be!

Asha: The first thing we asked him was “Can you play All Star on the guitar?” and he said yes so we let him in immediately.

ED: What are your plans for the future? Where do you see Black Top Lines in a few months?

Asha: I honestly don’t know where I see myself in the next few days but I just hope that we’re all alive, steady, and doing okay. It’s kind of hard to tell where this band will take us in the next few months.

Angelica: I just hope that we’re going to be able to play a lot more live shows and write more originals (and possible less covers).

Asha: We do have another show coming up really soon for the Homeless Men’s Youth Shelter—it’s a free show for charity to raise awareness for the struggle of the homeless youth in Connecticut. There’s going to be a ton of people there—it’ll be really cool.

Angelica: Yeah! But it’s all really up in the air besides that.

Justin: It’s kinda bad for me [laughs]. Well, I’ll be in college by the end of this year so maybe I’ll come back to play a few shows but I’m just kinda here for now.

Angelica: Just don’t go to college. You just can’t leave.

ED: In terms of Black Top Lines, if there was anything that you wanted future fans to know about you, what would you tell them?

Asha: I think that I would want them to know that, if anything, if they come to see our show, definitely either before the show, after the show, or during, you can be whoever you want to be and to be yourself.

Justin: Everyone’s welcome, for sure.

Mateo: We don’t care what you look like, where you come from, what you have on your shoulders… we just love everyone. We want to just throw out so much love to everyone.

Angelica: You’re welcome to come into our arms- I will definitely hug everyone.

Julia: We just want to spread a ton of positivity always.

ED: Is there anything else that you want to say really quickly?

Mateo: I love you, mom.

Asha: We should definitely make a shirt that says “I love you, mom” on it now- we have to.

Make sure to check out Black Top Lines and follow their whereabouts on social media to keep up with what they’re up to within the next coming months: you certainly won’t regret it!

Instagram and Twitter: @blacktoplines

Business Inquiries: [email protected]

#erinchristie #black top lines #interviews #BTLinterview #connecticut music scene #CT music #connecticut music #underground music #connecticut band #local band #local music #support local musicians #young musicians #youth band #young band

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