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postgleeworld · 1 year ago

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Devi vs. David: aka a comprehensive list of every single time ben gross has referred to devi as one or the other (season four edition)

HERE IT IS!!! the final edition of devi vs. david!!! if you're new here and haven't checked out any of my other devi vs. david deep dives, please feel free to check them out here: season 1, season 2, season 3. you can also find all of my devi vs. david ramblings here. and as i've said again and again and again, this is a list of every single time ben refers to her as either devi or david, this time in season 4, with context + insight + my own lil insane thoughts, because i'm 100% totally normal when it comes to this topic (they said, like a liar).

heads up, not all of the netflix captions are accurate, or the whole quote wasn't all in one frame, so if the font looks different in any of the following screencaps, it's because i captioned them myself.

i already noted in previous analyses, as well as in this post, that ben tends to go for “david” during their rivalry and their friensdhip, as opposed to when they’re estranged/fighting etc and when they're in more...well, romantic situations, he defaults to “devi.” i’ll go a little more into this towards the end, but it’s just something i’d like to bring to your attention before i get started.

anyways, here we go!

hmm remember when i predicted we would get a “devi” first this season because of the months of distance and miscommunication? and when i thought it would happen immediately after devi sees margot kiss ben? i may not have had all the details right, but i saw this coming from a mile away. and this also fits into the pattern i thought was going to be established: season 1 we get “david” first, season 2 we get “devi,” season 3 “david” and now in season 4 they’re finishing the pattern with another “devi.” they’re in wildly different places in their relationship in each of these instances, which i go more in detail about in this post where i predicted that we would get a “devi” first this season.

anyways. this use of “devi” has me hurting for both of them. they’ve got this - this chasm of months of distance, of zero contact, of miscommunication and misread feelings and misrepresented actions (“he was clearly embarrassed for me.” vs “it was so clear she that thought it sucked. she got up and sprinted out.” i love my two unreliable narrators devi vishwakumar and ben gross!!). i’m having a lot of thoughts about devi’s intentions here that i…probably won’t go into further detail about, lol, because this post is about ben. so. of course he reverts to “devi” here - they aren’t friends, right now. they aren’t really rivals right now, either - i mean, they always will be, of course, but that’s not the focal point of their relationship here. they’re talking for the first time after three months of radio silence, of ben creating this rift between them because of some bullshit advice after misrepresenting what happened (okay like. i’m not here to hate on ben - i just. it’s his fault. it’s literally his fault). he can’t call her “david” because, as i’ve said before, “david” has turned fond. they aren’t friends, they aren’t rivals, they aren’t lovers. so, “devi.”

(didn't include the first "devi" he says to get her attention in this scene, sorry.)

okay this is. basically bouncing off the last one - he can’t call her “david.” they aren’t close enough for that, not right now - they won’t be for some time this season. but he’s also trying to set the tone of the conversation, a more mature version of the one they had in the beginning of the episode. and i do applaud him for this, for owning up to all of this being his fault, too (which. i don’t think all of it was, honestly - there is blame to be placed on devi and on margot over what happened this episode, but the 3 months of no contact? ben’s fault, 100%). big props to him for apologizing. however still a little salty about him internalizing those words from mr. basketball player all those months ago, because dude did not have all the info when he gave ben that advice. but to be fair - ben is a seventeen year old with low social skills (not faulting him for that because like. same) so i sympathize with him a bit there. overall, based on where they are in their relationship in 4x01, i was really pleased with how this convo turned out especially since the spoilers we were given from the premiere made it look so much worse than it really is.

hm. remember how that last convo of theirs was pretty mature and low-conflict. yeah then they give us this. ben’s…exasperated. within reason, i think - and to be clear i don’t think devi’s really in the wrong here, it’s just…he chose to be with margot because he thought it was the easier route. he distanced himself from devi because he thought it would be easier. but it’s not. of course it’s not - he and devi both still have all these messy feelings for each other that they’ve been pushing down and suppressing and denying. and it’s tiring. being around devi while he’s “““moving on””” is tiring. being sucked into drama over and over is tiring. he wants - or thinks he wants- something calm, and easy. -and like. it would be fuckign easy if y’all just got your shit together and admitted your feelings but that comes later so we’re moving on for now-

okay so. as i’ve said in my previous posts, it doesn’t make sense for him to refer to her as “david” to other people when she’s not around, so we’re not going to explain why he said “devi” here - that’s a given. but this whole scene…he kinda let devi get into his head before talking to margot. like, from the characters’ point of view, not ours, it definitely seems like margot had the most motive to deface her car. i mean ben straight up says, “you did have a good reason, so i could understand why you might.” and this isn’t me digging at devi for thinking margot did it, or ben for second-guessing margot, or anything like that - it’s just like. objectively. it does seem like margot could have done it. so i get where ben’s coming from.

okay so…we know that that is. false. a lie. an untruth. et cetera. bouncing back to the first instance of “devi” in 4x02, this, once again, makes me think that ben is just…trying to make things easier, calmer. he doesn’t want to deal with devi’s drama right now (again, not dissing devi, just explaining his pov). interrupting her with, “listen, devi,'' to get her attention, to shut her up because he just…can’t do this right now. he’s conflicted - he cares about devi so deeply that it’s detrimental to him at times, and after the events of 4x01 and 4x02, he thinks the best thing to help him keep “““moving on””” (bc like. i’ve touched on this before but there is no moving on for him when it comes to devi) is to go back to silence and estrangement. back to how they were over the summer. back to how they were in those few episodes of season 2, even, just with less vitriol. so, “devi” to further that distance - earlier in the episode, he says, “we are friends,” but here, he’s all but saying, we can’t be friends, not anymore. not now. maybe not ever again.

following this up with:

the thing is…he does look sorry. he doesn’t want to lose her again. it hurts her, yes, but it also hurts him. but like i said - this is easier for him, for right now at least.

oooh this brings me back to 2x08, “devi, you’re daisy.” ben, currently dating a girl that’s not devi, while still having all these complicated feelings for her, relating her to the material they’re currently studying, after she almost became the reason said girlfriend had to leave sherman oaks (temporarily for margot, of course, but still) - it’s not an exact copy/paste, obv, but i’m loving the parallel. also brings me back to 1x02, “it’s okay, devi. i know how hard it is to memorize seven facts,” the same tone being used then as it is now - although with different intentions, of course. ben is - bitter, i would say. of course he is. this whole situation is just…really reminiscent of that 2x05 to 2x07 arc, although with a bit less anger - they’ve got not just their rivalry and (currently, failed) romance behind them, but also those months of real friendship they had during season 3. there’s even more history between them to contend with now, which makes it harder for him to be angry with her. he still is - just not to the same extent as the s2 aneesa situation.

remember when i said ben stopped talking to her to make it easier? yeah. i honestly totally forgot he says exactly that until i got to this scene while writing this out. “it’s just easier this way. she just always complicates things.” just - ouch, ouch, ouch. this is just me reiterating everything i’ve already said, i guess. does he want to push devi away right now? no, i don’t think so. but it makes things less complicated for him. devi is messy, yes, they’ve established that well over all four seasons - but this isn’t really about how messy devi is, is it? he tells margot that it’s because of devi, and it is, partially, but it’s also because of him. because he and devi clash. because he and devi mesh. because, at least right now, it is so hard for him to separate all these things he feels - angry and disappointed, yes, but there’s this - wistful, i want to say, feeling there under all of that, this pull he’s always going to feel with her. and he’s not in a place where he can let that go unless he cuts her off.

god i do feel for ben here. i wish they had brought back some of the stuff from last season with him…chilling out more when it comes to academics and all that, but like, this is ben gross we’re talking about here - one intestinal blockage and heartfelt convo with his dad isn’t going to erase over a decade of self-set high expectations. dude is stressed, literally sweating through his clothes and now he looks like someone squirted a bottle of french’s on him.

and amongst all this, comes the last person he wants to talk to right now - he smells like sweat and acrylic paint and he just had his girlfriend judge the spiel he’s probably recited in the mirror a hundred times (which like, in all fairness to margot, it did feel like a bowflex commercial). and now here’s devi, all calm and collected with her power blazer and bouncy high pony - looking like the opposite of what ben’s feeling. he’s already frustrated, and her showing up makes it that much worse - until approximately two seconds later when she saves his women’s medium sized ass.

episode 5’s you never disappoint do you. i love, love, love this conversation between ben and devi - this vulnerability here, the way they tell each other that they’ll be okay, that yes, this is scary. our lives are about to change forever - but you’ll make it through. you’ll survive. you’ll thrive.

and this line…this so much. ben knows who devi is, has been in proximity to her for twelve years at this point, as a rival, as a friend, even as a lover for a short stint - and he knows her, and he knows that she knows herself. maybe - no, definitely - she didn’t know who she was before, drowning in fresh grief, but she’s grown, she’s healed (not completely, but she has healed nonetheless), and ben has had a front row seat to that. he has watched from up close as she became the person she is now. he believes in her, and he knows she can believe in herself, too.

i promise i’m feeling so totally normal about this…remember when i said i thought the first “david” would be at the end of 4x05 during reconciliation? i do, and, surprise surprise - i was right, because ben gross is nothing if not consistent (most of the time, at least). this “david” is driving me insane. they just had this heartfelt discussion about their fears with going to college, reassuring each other that they’ll be okay, fucking…pep talking each other, because they know each other better than they know anyone else, and ben drops a “david” like it’s nothing. like it’s easy. like he means it!!! i’ve said so many times that “david” has turned into this term of endearment almost exclusively used during their friendship, with ben avoiding using it when they’re not friends, and after last episode, where it had been verbally established (by devi, at least), that they still aren’t friends…now he slips a “david” in. this is the closest, the most vulnerable, they’ve been with each other in months. this is ben taking that step to pull them even closer - ben feeling safe enough to do so. this is ben saying, “i can be your friend,” thirty seconds before he actually utters those words.

okay full disclosure, “david” isn’t in the official captions on this one, so like, idk if jaren decided to add this day of filming or what - but whatever. that doesn’t matter here. what does matter is this absolute effortless slide back into their friendship. ben going out of his way to approach her, to tell her the good news (well. it’s not really good news for devi but like. he doesn’t know that, so). he’s excited for her!!! he gives her this boost of confidence (and yes i know it doesn’t last long, what with the deferral email coming in that day but. still.)

ooooh the way i love this scene!!! the fact that we get to see this interaction through paxton’s eyes is just delightful to me. like, okay, i’m not a “he’s mean to you so he likes you!!” kind of person, but banter like this coming about while they’re actively friends and post-bargot (bengot? ragross? ykwim) breakup…it’s thinly veiled flirting, and idk if we would have been given that perspective if this scene had been shot from devi’s pov, or ben’s. while this isn’t the first taste of mutual banter we’ve got all season (looking at you, 4x04 bathroom scene), this is the first friendly mutual banter, and god we were starving for it - at least i know i was. there’s bite behind their words, but it’s playful for both of them!! but like - then there’s the shot of them both immediately fixing their appearance after they’re no longer in each other’s line of sight (ben tucking in his necklace, devi taking off her cardigan) and i just. ooooh my god i love it. i’ve said it before, and i’ll say it again - peak crush behavior. and ben isn’t even posturing for paxton here like he would have before, thanks to the literal shitstorm of 3x06 - ben’s only…well, acting up, i guess i would say, for devi. not anyone else.

(and like this is totally unrelated but god do i wish we got more bexton interactions this season, but oh well.)

hi yeah no i’m still not over this scene. it’s. so unapologetically horny and it’s a side of ben i’m honestly so glad we got to see. like, okay, we already know he messed around a little with shira, had (bad) sex with devi, and is canonically a boob guy, but this more in-depth peek at his desires (cough cough degradation kink cough cough) is just…chef’s kiss. yes this is devi’s show first and foremost but god do i love the looks into ben’s brain we get. and this - this desire for devi, this want for her, something he can’t run from in his subconscious no matter how hard he runs from it in his waking hours - yes, it’s a wet dream, but it’s more than that. trent says it: “...you really love her.” ben loves her. he can’t get her out of his head. he wants her - physically and emotionally.

let’s, for now, ignore that this is moments before disaster. god, the look on his face, this eager, hopeful smile, the fucking bouquet he brought for her. he’s riding the high (ha, get it) of trent’s earnest pep talk, ready, for the first out of multiple times this season, to tell her he wants her. he’s done denying it, to himself and now to her, too (which. the latter obviously doesn’t really happen for another few months - but that’s beside the point).

this instance is pretty self-explanatory from ben’s pov (i mean, that’s what y’all are here for). checking in that she’s okay after seeing her throw up, congratulating her, etc. not spending too much time on this one - just noting the, once again, effortless slip back into “david” after the events of last episode. not saying there’s not some inner turmoil going on for him regarding his feelings for her; even though we can’t see it, it’s still there - but birthdaygate (as nalini called it) was…a disaster, to put it lightly, so. back to “david” it is…for now, at least.

god this followed immediately by the “is she okay?” and then ben rushing off to go check in on her…i’ll touch on this more in the next instance, but like. he’s truly the only one who gets how much this would hurt. not saying that no one else understands how devi feels, but he’s the only one who would really, truly get it if the same happened to him. just - the wondering how she didn’t get in anywhere, because she’s just as smart as (and, technically as 4x10 proves with that valedictorian sash, smarter than) him. the immediate concern for her, the need to check in...god, he cares for her so much.

“But you’re not a quitter.” bringing back the “no one knows them better than they know each other” thing - because it’s true. no one knows devi better than ben knows her. he knows what she’s capable of - has been on the opposing side of it for over a decade. he has won against her, lost against her, won with her, lost with her…he’s seen her rise and fall and pick herself back up to rise again. he understands her, and he understands why this is so painful for her - if it were him, it would feel like twelve years of hard work, of early mornings following sleepless nights, of flash cards and meticulous notes and extra credit projects, all being flushed down the drain. he gets it, gets her. this being the first use of “devi” (to her, and not in a dream sequence) since 4x05 - he uses it to set the tone, to get her attention, to get her to listen to him. because he knows she doesn’t really want to give up. and he as much as says that: “but if you don’t try everything that you can, you’re gonna regret it.” she already knows this - there’s no doubt in my mind about that, and there’s no doubt that ben knows that she knows this. she just needed to hear it from the one person who understands - and it worked. she does try - and, as we see in 4x10, she succeeds.

this…this is the biggest break in his pattern when it comes to “devi” vs “david.” he never refers to her as “david” with a - romantic isn’t the exact word i’m looking for, but it’s the one we’re gonna use - romantic intention. i think he’s using “david” here to sort of…ease the tension, so to say? to lighten the mood a bit. he wants to tell her - has wanted to since trent told him to speak his truth, likely longer than that. but after birthdaygate - he doesn’t want to show too much of his hand. “maybe i was wrong, david.” not “i was wrong, devi.”

feeling especially attached to this use of “david” tbh. the excitement he feels for her, immediately rushing to pull her into a hug, how proud he is of her, especially after the events of the last episode. again, he knows how hard she’s worked for this, and he knows what it’s like to feel all of that hard work pay off. she’s not alone in feeling this satisfaction - he’s feeling it with her.

i loved, loved all the callbacks to the previous seasons, and this is no exception. the addition of “david” here brings me back to this post by @catty-words that i’m still thinking about almost two years later (and have referenced in 2 out of 3 of these analyses): “it’s a relic from their rivalry.” obviously cori goes into it a bit differently in that post because it’s about their season 2 arc, but to re-work that line here: the equatorial guinea nametag (i would say plaque but like. it’s a piece of paper) is a memento of their first time teaming up, but it is also a relic of their rivalry in a way - the initial anger of devi infiltrating his club, the temporary alliance that was struck down just hours later, the nuclear attack. and so, yes, “david” here is used as that mark of friendship, as i’ve referred to it before, and so is the nametag, but they’re also both a representation of their enmity - albeit in a much more playful way than the "david" from 2x05.

i’m going to refer you to the genius of rae @ice-sculptures real quick, who had this to say in regards to ben’s patterns when it comes to what he calls her: “it could be that he “hides” behind david when the lines of their relationship are blurred and uses it as a way to convey the affection that he doesn’t think he can openly express. but when they actually get together he doesn’t need to hide anymore bc he knows that she’s aware of how much he loves her…so devi is enough.”

y’all. devi is enough. he doesn’t need to use a term of endearment, a pet name, with her here. he doesn’t need to hide behind “david.” and like. just in case you aren’t aware - “david” means “beloved” in hebrew. i’m sure ben’s aware of that - he’s a giant nerd, and he’s jewish - it never gets established in canon, so it may just be something we’re all collectively reading into, but like. i’m obviously going to continue reading into it - he doesn’t have to hide behind “beloved” anymore, he doesn’t have to use this roundabout way to tell her how he feels - he can just say it. and he says it without even knowing if she feels the same way. he’s following trent’s advice from 4x08: “you must go to her. [...] you must tell her how you feel. there's no time to waste. [...] you must speak your truth. she needs to know." he flies to her on a whim to tell her he likes her. actually, he thinks he loves her, “devi.” he loves her. this is the bravest thing he’s done - he doesn’t know how she feels, doesn’t know if she loves him back - but he tells her anyways. he can’t wait. it doesn’t matter that she’s flying to the east coast the next day, where she’ll be a two hour and six minute train ride away. he has to tell her now. there’s no time to waste. she needs to know.

god. i just - i love that they already had this - this whole soft, sweet love confession, full of shy, gentle smiles and giggles, followed by The Big Damn Kiss of All Time (and like. the big damn bang of all time) and he still feels the need to tell her that he wants to be with her. that he wants to start this next chapter of life with her. and there’s just…something so important to me about them not being high school sweethearts. about them not really giving this an actual shot until they’re headed to college. he doesn’t want “let’s kiss at our lockers in between periods and sit next to each other in the cafeteria while we eat gloopy square-shaped pizza.” he wants “let’s fall asleep on facetime during exam season. let’s spend one weekend in new york and the next in new jersey. let’s meet in the middle. let’s cram ourselves onto a twin-sized dorm room bed that’s definitely not made for two people. let’s learn how to be adults together. let’s give this a real try. let’s give us a real try.”

and so they do.

and with that...we're done. if you've reached the end, thank you for reading! i'm so sad that this series of posts has come to an end, but i've had an absolute delight doing these, and i'm so pleased with the ending of this show - because it didn't feel like an ending. it felt like a new beginning. i'm going to miss never have i ever (i already do), but i'm so happy to have spent the past few years yelling about it with all of you - and i'll likely continue yelling about it in the near future.

#long post #ben gross #devi vishwakumar #benvi #ben x devi #devi x ben #never have i ever #nhie #nhie s4 #never have i ever season 4 #devi vs david #went a little off the rails with this one but like. can y'all blame me they make me fucking insane #anyways pls validate me i spent so much time on this <3

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shaunashipman · 3 months ago

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Pardon if you've already discussed this specifically! This has just weighing on my mind again because I keep seeing unjustified points in posts of fans (stans) trying to provide evidence to validate their hate 👀

I get canon vs. fanon. I know we (all) see something happen once or repeatedly and think it has more significance than what it probably does, and it's fun to fantasize. I also understand in fandoms, generally as a whole, we'll (all) be like "ehh yeah let's pretend that didn't just happen!" Like when a character dies or when trying to bleach our brains from seeing something inappropriate. You know, coping with a loss or trying to make the show watchable/toleratable still. Right? My confusion these last 5 months or so is people wanting to use "it's implied" because of personal feelings and not factual reasonings based on the episodes or "I didn't see it so it didn't happen!" to disregard one side but then will use those same points to prove they're right because they're upset about what's canon. Does that make sense? I know they don't care about the hypocrisy, but they can't be serious... personal feelings still don't make it canon 🤨

Strongest example(s) being "whether Tommy apologized" split between "it's repeatedly implied as they all hung out outside of work and had continuous contact throughout the years and they more than likely wouldn't befriend him if he didn't or still acted the same given their standards" against "we never saw him say 'sorry' so he wasn't actually forgiven since... WE didn't see it" leading us to "the 118/fam don't like Tommy because of their facial expressions and how they responded to him." As they said before, if it wasn't aired, it's not canon... unless it fits their agenda. They seem to mix and match and decide what's appropriate for canon to fit their needs. I see them choosing which particular bts, unused promo, or deleted scenes as they please because it's "good" for their ship/character, but turning around and saying the opposite, if it wasn't aired during an episode it didn't happen, if it challenges their desires...

Why is it that they'll use the HenRen/Tommy deleted scene as an "interpretation" of HK questioning or as they say "not approving" of Tommy as something canon because it "proves" whatever they're making up about anti TK/BT, but won't accept and even denied the implication Tommy's "maybe apology" because it wasn't seen? And at the same time, they also want to say Eddie only strictly "emotionally cheated because they didn't air the kiss," but Ramon canonically said "He (Christopher) said he came home and caught you kissing his dead mother" and Eddie said "it's a little true" not in regards to the kissing but to it being "Shannon" but still they'll swear up and down Kim and Eddie NEVER canonically kissed because it wasn't seen?? Like neither was the "shovel talk" so 🤦🏾‍♀️

Dumbfounded... 😅

So let me get this straight. HenRen/Tommy scene wasn't aired, but it's still canon... Kim/Eddie kiss edit version wasn't aired but verbally confirmed during airing also not canon... and Tommy's apology that was not scripted but implied, most definitely, not canon... ???

I know there's no logic, but I can't wrap my head around it no matter how hard I try to comprehend it 😂 I honestly try to not to think negativity about shippers and stans but wow I'm confused lol

so, I'm actually writing a meta right now that touches on a lot of what you're saying, so I'm gonna leave that for now, but I will talk about the deleted kiss

I've said before, I don't consider deleted scenes canon, I call them "schrodinger's canon". we can certainly treat them as canon for fandom stuff and also spec, but if the show contradicts them, it's not a ret-con. so to me, the henren tommy scene is not actually canon. it seems like it was probably just cut for time, so I have no problem with people treating it like canon, so long as they understand that it can be discarded very easily.

so in that vein, the eddiekim kiss isn't canon to me. it was cut, and probably not for time, but because they felt it didn't fit. I don't see ramon's line as contradicting that in any way. the doylist explanation is probably that they intended to have them kiss, as it was filmed, but then decided against it after having already filmed the finale

the watsonian explanation is, chris could very well be embellishing, OR it's that he's a traumatized teenager who walked in on his dad embracing a women who looks like his dead mother. in between seeing that and calling his grandparents, it's very possible his brain distorted it and he really does think they were kissing.

but emotional cheating is still cheating. I wouldn't even put a qualifier on it, it's just cheating. idc that you never kissed, the other woman was clearly under the impression you were in a relationship, however chaste of one, it's cheating. you think if kim hadn't shown up at the firehouse and buck went to talk to eddie, that it wouldn't have ended with them fucking? eddie was fantasizing about sex within a day, they would have fucked and he would have called her shannon, and it would have been gloriously messy, and much better than what we got.

also, I feel like comparing the deleted kiss to the deleted henren tommy scene is uneven. let's talk about the kiss and the potential eddie/tommy pairing. cause either deleted content matters or it doesn't. if them cutting the kiss means it didn't happen and eddie "only" emotionally cheated, then any possibility of eddie/tommy is also irrelevant. cause they got far enough to film the kiss, while eddie/tommy was only talked about, and we don't even know how briefly.

anyway, this is a little disjointed, but I'm gonna go work on that meta that'll hopefully be clearer

#cleo gets mail #anonymous #911 #911 discourse #eddie diaz #tommy kinard #bucktommy #anti buddie

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apprenticestanheight · 1 year ago

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Watch the World Burn- Mark Hoffman x fem! reader

all right! This account has been a little dry in terms of my ability to write and put out requests lately but that DOES have a reason--I'm dealing with some personal health concerns at the moment and I got a cold four days ago. Before that it was a combination of demotivation and studying nearly ten hours in a week to get my learners permit, but I do acknowledge I could've at least given writing a try in the midst of it all.

This was meant to be a fic but I realized part way through that I was writing it in the way that I tend to write headcanons, so thats what this came out as.

This fic was requested by the lovely @capan-deveraux2! If you're reading, I hope you like this one and I am SO SORRY about the delay!

Fic type- this is pretty fluffy!

Warnings- mentions of fire, this fic has been edited but the editing was somewhat a skim--I apologize for any grammatical mistakes as my thoughts can sometimes move faster than I can type! Also, this is my first ever mark centric fic so he might be a tad ooc (also haven't rewatched the saw films since I finished up with saw 3D last month so that could also contribute)

Mark is generally the type of person to be cool, level headed. He can admit that, on occasion, he's quicker to anger than most and his temper when angered is probably something worth working on, but when he's around you all of that kind of ceases to matter.

He keeps the cool natured, relaxed off-duty cop thing within himself as he goes about meeting your parents over dinner. He finds he likes their company well enough--your mother has retired and is happily living off a good pension, where your father has five years to go and talks excitedly about his and your mothers plan to move somewhere like Scotland when he's finally able to retire.

The only point where Mark lets the version of him that isn't the perfect gentleman slip is when your father gives him a compliment.

"I'm glad to see that my daughter has found someone so lovely," he says, and Mark has to give himself a second to process it because like...like...??

He's not a good person--being a disciple and apprentice of Jigsaw would inherently demerit such claims, wouldn't it? He acknowledges he's not good and that prompts his reaction.

"Well, not really," he says. "I mean--I would make a thousand mistakes if Y/N was put in harms way. I would do a thousand immoral things, I would watch the world burn, just to make sure she was okay in the end."

your parents have similar reactions to that

your mom is reaching across the table, taking your hands in hers and going "are you sure about him?" in the way that supportive, but concerned mothers usually do.

Your father is staring at Mark, mouth agape, and is thinking like:

well...that's...interesting.

In the end though, your mother speaks up for both of them.

"Good," she says. "It's good that our Y/N has found someone willing to do that much. You love her?"

"More than anything." Mark says, and the both of you know that he means it.

"And you love...him?" Your father asks.

You nod, because you do. You love him wholeheartedly, truly, and you would watch the world burn if it meant he emerged from the embers.

Your parents find themselves assured--albeit a little unsettled by the way in which such knowledge came about--by the knowledge that he loves you deeply and that you have found someone you can love just as much, and the dinner resumes as it had been before, laughter and joy enveloping the dining room.

#mark hoffman #mark hoffman x reader #saw #saw franchise

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strangerstilinski · 4 months ago

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꙳ fic authors self-rec game ꙳

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬, 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬. 𝐋𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞. 💞

ty for tagging me in this @littlexdeaths & @aphrogeneias, i love u both endlessly

✵ somehow, we're here (ex!steve — hurt/comfort, smut)

i'm not sure there will ever come a time when i love one of my own fics more than i love this one. i'm not rly sure what to say, this just always ignites this warm feeling of melancholy inside of me (it has a happy ending ofc). it's post-upside down, post-breakup. but old habits die hard, and after a barfight steve shows up bloodied on your doorstep—yet again.

✵ first kiss (stiles stilinski x reader)

this one's for the stiles girlies (gn). i'm not sure what it is about this fic in particular, but it's one of my favorite things i've ever written. friends->lovers, embarrassed stiles, first kisses (obv), and lots of me waxing poetic about how pretty his eyes are.

✵ sweet as death (steve x demon/vampire!reader, smut)

so this one began brewing in my brain after watching jennifer's body (the song Legend of Jennifer also played a massive part in my insp). it's kind of demon!reader, but also very vampire-coded. initially it was meant to be a very dark fic, but this is me we're talking about, so ofc it ended up being chock full of longing and borderline-obsessive tendencies instead. there's lots of blood, a quick cameo by dustin & eddie, and some filthy albiet loving smut.

✵ pretty thing like you (older!mechanic!eddie — smut)

this was just a tiny blurb, written while i was half-asleep, horny, and very intoxicated. it sat in my drafts for ages before i stumbled upon it again, did a bit of editing, and decided to share it. i'd actually love to revisit this one day and flesh it out a bit further, because i adore this particular version of eddie very much.

✵ relax (eddie x reader)

this was born from a delicious p link that i saw on here and was immediately overtaken with a horny demon. eventually, i reworked it to work for eddie, and in doing so, i added so much depth and i ended up loving it so much more.

i'm honestly not sure who has done this already, so i will simply apologize in advance & just tag a few: @calumfmu @cinemabean @hellfiremunsonn @wroteclassicaly

#tag game

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cadybear420 · 8 months ago

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Performance for fluffember🤍

The Voice of an Angel

Fandom: High School Story (Original Trilogy)

Pairings: Aiden Zhou x Evie Ayana (female HSS MC), maybe with a small side of Ajay Bhandari x Cher Lee (female HSS:CA MC)

Characters: Aiden Zhou, Evie Ayana (female HSS MC)

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Additional Tags: Fluff, Singing, Performance, Dancing

Word Count: 2,128

Summary: On Evie’s 18th birthday, Aiden and the jazz band whip up a little surprise for her. Takes place approximately between HSS:CA 2 and HSS:CA 3 (though my memory of the HSS:CA timeline is a little more fuzzy).

A/N: First of all: to the anon who sent the prompt, major apologies for sleeping on it for so long. Coming up with writing ideas is a bitch, but it is something I want to do more often. And there was also that one time when Tumblr turned off editing for answers to asks, which carried over to the draft post for this for a while. Second of all, I’m fucking obsessed with this song from Doctor Who (“My Angel Put the Devil in Me”, from the Series 3 soundtrack) and I think Evie and Aiden would be as well. Third of all, yes this is a belated birthday fic for Evie, but I’m glad to get it out before the end of Evie’s birthday month at least. Also haha both Evie’s birthday this year and in the setting of the fic were on a Friday. Fourth of all, arghrghrargh my first time writing a fic where one character sings to another AND does a choreographed dance to it too. It’s a lot more difficult than I imagined lol.

(Also, the outfit I imagine for the other jazz band kids)

Prompt: Performance

Source for prompts here. Even though it's long past November, I'll still accept prompt suggestions from this list year-round.

Tags: @inlocusmads @aces-and-angels @aria-ashryver @lover-also-fighter-also @jerzwriter @choicesmc @3rdstreetfrank @dutifullynuttywitch @lovealexhunt @lilyoffandoms @peonierose (as this is the complete version of this WIP and this challenge bit), and @choicesficwriterscreations

Friday, March 8, 2019. The day of Evie’s 18th birthday. She’d been planning to host a birthday party at one of her favorite restaurants in the city, starting in the early evening after school. Almost everyone she knew from school was invited.

It was late in the afternoon now. Evie took one last look at herself in her new outfit– a navy blue suit with a purple floral necktie– and grinned, before dashing to the living room. There, her dad was checking his phone.

“Alright, I’m ready to go!” she said.

He turned to her. “Actually… we can’t leave just yet…”

She pouted. “What??? But Daaaad, the party starts at 5 PM and it’s already 4:45!”

“The people doing the decorations are… taking a bit longer than expected.”

“Oh…”

“It’s a bit awkward to go to a party when they’re still putting decorations up, isn’t it?”

“That’s true,” her face softened. “Do the other guests know?”

“...yep! I’ve just told them, in fact.”

“Okay… but how long do we have to wait?”

“Shouldn’t be more than… ten to twenty minutes?”

Evie pouted again.

“It’s not that long…”

“Okay, fiiiiine, I’ll be patient…”

“And I’ll be doctor!”

Evie winced. “Dad, NO…”

…

About twenty minutes passed, and then finally, her dad said it was okay to start driving to the restaurant. After a fifteen minute drive, they arrived, and Evie wasted no time going in.

The room was alive with upbeat music, purple decorative lights and flowers, and many of Evie’s friends. It seemed like just about everyone she’d invited had shown up– her main friend group, her teammates, her friends from the other cliques and Hearst, Cher and her friends from theatre, the seniors from last year who hadn’t gone away for college…

And all of them greeted her with a big “Happy birthday, Evie!!!”, in unison.

Evie inhaled, beaming at her friends. Many of them ran over to hug her, a few others cheered for her.

Then she saw Emma and Cher push their way through the crowd and grab her by her arms.��

“Evie! There’s a special surprise for you, right now!” said Cher.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!” said Emma. “Just come with us…”

The crowd parted, making way for Emma and Cher to pull Evie to the opposite side of the room. As they did, the party music slowly faded out and the lights began to dim.

“What the–” Evie started.

“Shhhh. You’ll see soon enough!” Emma replied.

When they made it to the opposite end of the room, a warm spotlight turned on over her, and there she saw it. The jazz band, all set up with their instruments and dressed in matching snazzy black-and-red suits and… devil horns? Yes, devil horns.

And at the front of it all… was none other than her beautiful boyfriend Aiden, all dressed up and holding a microphone.

Evie just about stopped in her tracks as she took in his outfit– a snug, ivory-colored flapper dress that had silver beads sewn into intricate patterns, and hung just barely above his knees. Along with that, he also wore a couple of matching long pearl necklaces, a fluffy white halo accessory over his head, and winged eyeliner.

“Wow…” Evie felt her breath catch. “Aiden, you look–”

Just then, Aiden signaled to the band… and they started to play.

Evie grinned broadly, her eyes immediately lighting up at the familiar upbeat jazzy tune, and watched intently as her boyfriend danced towards her, in steps that were careful and rhythmic, yet lively.

Then the tempo slowed, and he held the microphone to his mouth and began to sing.

“I'm a country girl, I ain't seen a lot… But you came along, and my heart went pop! You took a little streetcar to my heart… And an apple of love fell off my apple cart~”

Evie’s cheeks flustered at his melodious voice. This wasn’t the first time she’d heard him sing– he’s sung to her plenty of times, and they’d practically been doing Evie-Aiden duets since the day they met. But this… this was different. Aiden had never done a solo singing performance for her before, let alone one that involved a bit of dance as well.

“You looked at me, my heart began to pound… You weren't the sort of guy I thought would stick around… Hey, but it don't have to be eternally… My bad, bad Angel put the Devil in me~”

And his singing voice was all the more different this time around too. Even later into their relationship, as Aiden had become more confident about his singing, there was always still a hint of nervousness in his voice when they sang their duets. But this time, he sang loud and clear. Like he was owning the stage.

Aiden performed a small twirl before stopping, his eyes meeting hers as he began slowly walking up to her, making her heart jump a little.

“You lured me in with your cold grey eyes… Your simple smile, your bewitching lies…”

As he sang that verse, he reached out and grabbed onto her bright purple tie, making Evie’s face heat up as he began tugging on it gently and pulling her closer to him.

“One and one and one is three… My bad, bad Angel… the Devil in me~!”

The tempo picked up again. Aiden let go of her tie and took her hand in his as he broke out into energetic dance movements while still singing the lyrics to the song, the skirt of his dress swishing about as he swayed gracefully to the instrumental music.

Evie squeezed his hand and matched his movements, her pulse racing now. All the while, the crowd watched with excitement. When they came face-to-face again, she was giving him an almost drunken smile.

Soon enough, Aiden broke from her hold and turned around, sashaying slightly as he started stepping away from her… before looking over his shoulder, catching her gaze once again.

“My bad, bad Angel~ you put the Devil in me~”

Aiden shook his butt side-to-side to the beat, giving Evie a knowing look that made her cheeks brighten. The music slowed, and he turned around to face her again.

“So, now my dear, I ain't the girl you knew… 'Cause the Angel's got Heaven, but I get you…”

He sauntered back up to her.

“And the tree of life grows tall, you see… My bad, bad Angel… you put the Devil in me~!”

The beat slowed to a more gentle, relaxed tune as Aiden placed his arm over Evie’s shoulder.

“Oh… You put the Devil in me~”

Aiden gestured towards Evie’s arm, and she placed her arms around him, taking hold of his waist as they began to rock together.

“You put the Devil in me…”

Gently and smoothly, Aiden broke out of her hold and took her hand again. Lifting her hand, he twirled himself under her arm, then placed himself backwards against her body– all without missing a beat.

As Aiden continued to sing, Evie wrapped both of her arms around his middle, embracing him from behind. Aiden pressed back against her and placed his free arm over hers, almost as if to hold her arms in place, as they began to sway side-to-side together again. Evie practically melted into him, his body warm against hers.

“You put the Devil in me…”

Then, the song picked up again.

“You put the Devil in… me~!”

He swiftly yet carefully broke from her hold again, and danced in a circle around her as he sang the last few verses of the song. She turned to follow him, their eyes locked onto each other yet again, as he gave her an almost sultry gaze.

“My bad, bad Angel, you put the Devil in me!”

At the final note, the lights slowly faded back on. Aiden stood in front of the now cheering crowd and took a huge bow, grinning proudly.

Once he straightened back up, Evie finally let out a high pitched “EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”, bouncing up and down before leaping onto Aiden, sweeping him up into her arms, and spinning him around. Aiden gasped, dropping his microphone with a loud *thunk*– but then quickly held her face in his hand and pulled her in for a passionate kiss, prompting the crowd to cheer louder.

After a moment, Aiden broke the kiss. “Happy eighteenth birthday, Darling~”

Evie squeezed him tighter. “Aiden, that was…” She took a deep breath, a starstruck look in her eyes. “Your singing is amazing… I mean, I’ve heard you sing before, obviously, but…”

A slight but visible rosy tint grew on his cheeks.

“But I’ve never done a singing performance for you, I know. I figured it was about time I did.”

“And you were fucking amazing. I’ve never heard you sing like that before… like, you were already good, but I didn’t know you were this good…”

“I mean… practice makes perfect, after all…”

“That’s true…”

He planted a small kiss onto her lips, making her whole body warm up.

“And what made you choose that song from Doctor Who for your first performance? I mean, obviously I love the song–”

“That’s just it. I know how much you love the song, and the episodes it came from.” He chuckled softly. “And, I mean… I don’t blame you. It is a fantastic song.”

Evie’s smile grew wider. “God, Aiden… I fucking love you.”

“I love you too, Evie.”

They pulled each other in for one more kiss, holding each other tightly, before she set him down.

“And I love your outfit too… you look absolutely gorgeous, as always~”

Even as Aiden beamed at her so brightly, his cheeks turned as red as the other band members’ devil costumes, prompting Evie to giggle.

“Well… I have been having a lot of fun trying on new outfits…” he said, softly.

At that moment, Ajay and Cher popped up beside them.

“Hey… if Aiden likes singing, dancing, and dressing up in fancy outfits now… you think we could convince him to join the upcoming spring musical?” Ajay said. “His talent would just be unmatched…”

Evie and Aiden turned towards them.

“The next play’s gonna be a musical?” Evie said. “I’ve been wanting to act in a play, but, uh… I don’t think I’m ready for one that involves singing…”

Aiden raised an eyebrow at her. “But we’ve literally been doing duets ever since–”

“That’s different. I can sing alright when it’s more casual, but in a professional musical performance? I’m not that good.”

“You should still consider it!” Cher chirped. “If not an acting role, you can always still be an assistant director or a techie…”

“That sounds much more my speed.”

Cher turned to Aiden. “You should definitely consider trying out for a singing role, though!”

Aiden put his hand on his chin thoughtfully. “It could be fun… I know Evie doesn’t want to sing in a musical, but imagine if we got lead roles together…”

“Oh, perhaps I could be convinced now…” Evie said, before smirking playfully. “But, let’s be real. Put Aiden in the musical, and he’ll probably just upstage all the other singers with how good he is. He’ll make everyone else look like chumps.”

“Hey!” Cher exclaimed, her face scrunching up into a pout. “Are you saying I sing like a chump?”

“What– no, I–” Evie’s face fell.

Cher dropped her pout and grinned again. “Kidding! You probably have a point… I do sing every now and then, but it could use a little more work. Especially since I’m planning to go for an acting role in the musical, of course.”

“Well, if we can’t get Aiden in a singing role for the musical, perhaps he can be a musical director and help coach the actors who are a little more inexperienced?” Ajay suggested.

“Actually… that’s a great idea!” Aiden said, his face lighting up. “I’d love to do that!”

Ajay beamed. “Oh, perfect! We’ll talk to Mr. Olson on Monday.”

“I’ll need some time to think about it… but I’ll let you know if I do decide to accept.”

“Sounds good to me!” Ajay reached his hand out, and he and Aiden shook hands. “Anyways, great job on your performance, Aiden! And happy birthday, Evie!”

“Yeah! Happy birthday, Evie!!!” cheered Cher.

“Aww, thank you both so much!”

Evie gave each of them a warm hug before they walked off. Aiden placed his arms around her and kissed her on the cheek, and she turned back to him.

“Thank you so much, Aiden. For being the best boyfriend ever, and for giving me this awesome birthday.”

“It’s my pleasure~” Aiden hugged her tighter. “But… there’s still more, of course. Ready to enjoy the rest of your birthday party?”

“Oh yes!”

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bioluminesced · 9 months ago

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saw your last fanart (16 of january) and it's so good

it beats me how this kind of colouring/painting is done though. how do you pick the right colours? the right places? the value of colour and it's warmth?

i always have trouble with colouring because i have a very strict basic knowledge of shadows and colours and no visual imagination

sorry for such a long ask

hi anon!! no need to apologize this is such a kind ask and i still really struggle with this sometimes. i didnt start experimenting with color in my art until around summer of 2022 and before that it was so frustrating to color that i almost didnt produce any colored work.

i also have complete aphantasia so my visual imagination is very limited! this leads to a lot of trial and error in my work because i cant tell what looks good until i simply try it lol

i will try to answer about my process as thoroughly as possible! but a lot of it is seriously just vibes, and playing around. a lot of what helped me was studying how artists i liked used color in THEIR work and trying to work it into my style.

a lot of the vibrancy and harmony in my work comes from my base layer, which i put under the sketch like im “priming” the canvas. when im coloring later on i let this base layer inform my choices and also let it show through in places for unification of the colors. its a lot like doing an underpainting except i dont go crazy on the range of values

the hardest part for me is doing the base colors over this layer. i dont have a lot of guidance for this because i kind of just pick colors to start with and then edit them bit by bit until it looks satisfying to me/matching the intended mood and harmonizing with the base layer. i edit the colors mostly by using gradient maps and layer modes until i find a version i like and merge it to just create a normal layer with the colors i want. i keep this base layer underneath my sketch

i render on top of my sketch/lineart always so i can better define the shapes and have smoother edges. this is the part where i really go crazier with my colors - some conscious decisions i make:

- where can i make my highlights and shadows stand out more? i accomplish this by choosing warm colors on the cool base or cool colors on the warm base. theres blue in the flesh tones of the face and orange in the blue tones of the coat.

- where does the rendering need to be more “clean”? someone viewing an art piece will gravitate to places in the drawing with finer detail, so i put a lot more work into the shapes and colors of the faces and the fish, because this is where i want someone to look the longest

another thing i usually do is pick one really saturated color and place it throughout the drawing. for thos one its that bright red, around the eye, blood, and outline of the fish as well as the characters’ hands.

this part of my process takes me the longest and can be seriously frustrating at times! something i always force myself to do is to keep working on it. whenever im like ok its done! i go back and render for another half hour and it ends up looking a lot better

gradient mapping the final drawing! for further unification i have a gradient map i made that works for most of my warm pieces

and i put it on top with an overlay layer mode and then adjust the opacity

it makes a big difference in the warmth and unification of the final drawing!! so honestly i cheat a little with my colors :P

i hope this helped a little bit with your question! my general advice is to also do some color studies of movies or pictures you like it really helped me get a feel for harmonizing color (and not being afraid to use really vibrant colors!!) again thank you for such an ask and good luck to you!!

#mjs asks #long post sorry!#i really just do whatever which is such a stupid way to put it but yeah

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mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune · 4 months ago

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Helluva Boss Theory: Blitz's Exes Are Equal To Blame For The Break-Ups...Part 2

[Note of August 2, 2024: This Has Been Edited after noticing some mistakes that I didn't catch right away...also once more don't reblog this without my permission...]

[Note: Don't Reblog this without my permission. and I also want to say that I still loved the episode in Helluva Boss that has to do with the Apology Tour, but I'm still gonna be on Blitz's side but also hope that the misunderstanding between him and Stolas does work out even if they might end up with different people for a while before they do finally end up together. also if your fans of Helluva Boss, make sure to have watched all the episodes of the current Seasons before reading this. ]

not sure I will make this very long, but let's start this part 2 off with talking about Dennis...even if at first I might not of notice, but if you pause at the right moment when Blitz sends him away at Bee's Party...you can see the hurt and upset look on Dennis's face...

which I don't get why he would need to be upset about, well besides being hurt that Blitz not liking his name, that I can understand...

but Dennis needs to understand, that Blitz was freaking smashed, aka he was drunk, and it could be possible that only some people can still be fully aware and drunk, and Blitz might not of been fully aware but at the same time only half-aware what he was doing.

and it was a good thing Loona saw them and stop Blitz and Dennis from making-out anymore than they were...

I'm guessing the Imp Guy that came after Dennis left, was the "Alejandro"...

Dennis doesn't even know Blitz, and they only just met at the party...same goes for any of the other people who were possibly at both that party at Bee's and even the party that has to do with hating Blitz, and half of the people at that party were perhaps only half of his Exes while the other half were just friends and dates of those Exes.

plus Dennis was making-out with a emotionally hurt Blitz, who was trying to fill the void by drinking and making-out with every guy and gal and possibly nonbinary person at Bee's Party.

Blitz might of seem okay on the outside, but he wasn't on the inside, and he only let out that really sad part out once he and Loona got home.

even if both Blitz and Verosika are on better terms now, and are possibly frienemies now, while Blitz and Fizz are 100% friends again.

it doesn't mean that Verosika 100% understands Blitz, or why he pushes others away before they could hurt him...

if Loona said "I love you, Dad." she would probably be the only one that Blitz doesn't push away, because he does love her, which is a different kind of love from the ones that were like Fizz, Verosika and Stolas...

we do know it could be possible, that it isn't just Fizz, Ozzie and Verosika's fault for Blitz over doing it at Bee's Party and drinking so much as well as making-out with strangers who were possibly at that Anti-Blitzo party, and didn't understand they were making-out with someone who had his heart hurt at Ozze's.

both sides are equal to blame for the break-ups, but I don't think some of the people at that Anti-Blitzo Party, were even dating him.

and half of them were possibly just some people who got into their head that it was more than just a one-night/day make-out and there was more there, just like Dennis did...

Dennis wasn't even drunk, and he was making-out with a Drunk Blitz...

Stolas was possibly only a little drunk but also really sad as well, at least he met up with "Pretty Boy Who Thinks He's Better Than Blitzo."...(but he's not...)

both parties of course had alcohol, well possibly only the Hell version of alcohol, cause it could be likely that they wouldn't get drunk from the stuff that can effect humans.

it's good that Blitz wants to do better, and not hurt anymore people.

but he isn't the only one who hurt someone, because those people had possibly took advantage of the state he was in at Bee's Party, and Bee as well as Vortex probably couldn't tell how bad it was for him, even if Bee could tell from picking up on Blitz's feelings that he wasn't 100% okay but she didn't get too deep into what could be causing it, possibly to respect his privacy on what could be causing him to drink and make-out his feelings away.

Bee might of not known that Blitz got a bit too drunk at the party, and didn't know he was only half-aware of the people he was making-out with...and those people, even if it was only half of them and not all of them...were technically taking advantage of him.

it is possible when that Incubus Pretty Boy did end up speaking with Stolas, the said Prince ended up sobering up some and possibly became more aware when they danced together.

I still think that Blitz's Exes, and even ones who weren't really Exes like Dennis...are scapegoating Blitz, not everyone has to agree with me on that but it's pretty obvious that Blitz ain't the only one to blame.

for all we know, Blitz could end up in a Poly Relationship with Stolas and Verosika, like even if it might take some time for Stolas and Blitz to get back together and become more than they were before...

and well if Verosika is added in, it be like she is Blitz's Girlfriend, but is Stolas's Platonic-Girlfriend aka Girl-Buddy, and he would be Verosika's Platonic-Boyfriend aka Boy-Buddy and they are both the Boyfriend and Girlfriend of Blitz...

if Fizz was real, he would be the Perfect Platonic-Boyfriend aka Boy-Buddy I play video games with. XD

I mean yeah still have a small crush on him, but I think some of my feelings for him is also platonic as well, so I wouldn't mind being the Platonic-Girlfriend aka Girl-Buddy if he were real, and I'm still Gray-Aroace/Fictoromantic...

well the likely hood of Verosika and Blitz ending up back together might be very small, plus we all know she might end up with Wally.

Cherri is technically Angel's Platonic-Girlfriend, he does call her his Girl-Buddy...plus the whole "Platonic-Girlfriend/Boyfriend" would be way different than the other type which is still just called Boyfriend or Girlfriend...even if you could have your own romantic moments with your boyfriend and girlfriend that doesn't have to follow what some do that is viewed as normal...

and well you don't have to follow the same romantic way others do, you can just play video games together, watch a movie or even eat cake or pizza together, like it being a mix of platonic but still romantic.

Blitz's Dad, Cash Buckzo...is probably and possibly most obvious reason why Blitz has a hard time trusting others with his heart in a romantic level...(possibly being the reason why Blitz was scared of being rejected by Fizz)

Cash likely lied to Fizz, saying that Blitz was jealous of him when really he wasn't and Blitz had feelings for Fizz but was too scared to come out and tell him.

we don't know much about Blitz's Mother, or if she knew how Cash was treating Blitz...we just have to wait and see.

I do like the idea of viewing the Pilot-Tilla still being Blitz and Barbie's sister and being fully separate from Blitz's Mother.

we don't know if Blitz's Mother will still be called Tilla or not though.

even if Blitz might fully blame himself for what happen to Fizz, even if it was a accident. he wasn't the only one to blame.

plus I wouldn't be surprised if those fireworks that took part in both Fizz and Blitz getting hurt, was fireworks that belong to Barbie.

we only know so little about Blitz's past, but we might learn more later on.

Blitz did try to make his night with Stolas special, as he did put a lot of thought into it...but even that episode had some misunderstandings between those two, but we can only hope it does get better for both of them.

while I still like Stolas, but he needs to understand what he, Verosika, Fizz and Ozzie put Blitz through...

I mean Blitz has possibly forgave Fizz and Asmodeus on what happen at Ozzie's, and I guess after talking with Verosika, he did forgive her for that time at Ozzie's as well...

but Stolas, well that is another matter...

even if Stolas didn't mean for it to be misinterpret that way, he did make Blitz feel like he was ashamed to be with a Imp like him at a place like Ozzie's...

well if I was in Blitz's shoes, I would probably be hurt too...

I mean I'm a "purple blood" not fully "blue blood" I mean yeah I do have some royal ancestors, and well one of my ancestors are King David and King Solomon...

but if I did have a boyfriend that was fully royal and was brought up in some fancy mansion or castle or palace...and if we did go on a date to some fancy place, and he was teased about dating a "commoner" who unknown to the rest of the people in the fancy restaurant...actually has royal blood type heritage ( but not all my ancestors are royals, which I think it good. )

but if he hide his face with the menu like Stolas did, of course I'm going to assume he is ashamed to be with me...

Blitz possibly wanted to forget everything that happen at Ozzie's even how he misunderstood on the reasons why Stolas's was hiding his face with the menu.

and even if Stolas had no idea Blitz was also being held hostage by Crimson, and not just Fizz...he might not find out about that information until later on...even if Stolas still believed that Blitz and Striker were friends, but Stolas needs to face the fact that he isn't the only one that was a part of Blitz's life.

Loona is Blitz's daughter, and her well being had to come first, and Blitz had to make a choice between going to save Stolas himself or being there for his daughter, and the best choice he made was Loona.

and he did end up trusting Millie and Moxxie to go and save Stolas.

if Loona and Octavia did get closer, it could be possible they would form a bond like sisters and both come to understand that their Dads are only hurting each other by their misunderstandings and miscommunications with each other.

Blitz craving and rejecting love, might come from something that has to do with partly hating himself and believing he is unworthy of romantic love from any romantic-partner, and he wishes he had what Moxxie and Millie have.

it can also be possible that before Blitz and Stolas's affair, Blitz did have a Royal Ex who ended up hurting him pretty badly and made him believe that no royal could ever love a Imp romantically.

Stella's brother is a possible candidate...

okay now that I realize it, Stella's Brother Andrealphus does kind of sound like Pilot-Stolas...I think I should check the names of the voice actors for both Andrealphus and Original Stolas...

I'm not 100% sure if my theory about Blitz being the son of The King of Wrath himself will end up being canon, which would make Blitz a whole lot of a higher rank than Stolas, Andrealphus and Stella...

but it can still work in the fanon, even if it turns out not to be canon.

my new OTP is Cozy Glow x Button Mash from MLPFIM, the ship isn't canon and they might never meet but I don't care, I ship it.

sometime I will post a drawing that has to do with those two being ship together, but since it's also a Crossover drawing, it isn't 100% finished yet...I might finish it later though.

their ship name is "ButtonGlow" and even if the color of Button's mane, coat and eyes had changed later on in the future seasons, I decided to do the original colors.

also some things, are called "fanon" for a reason...which I ain't gonna get into right now when it involves something I found out about Button Mash...

I think it could be possible that the ship name of those two already is a thing, if some fans have already been shipping them...

in a Crossover Timeline in the Fanon Universe, Blitzo would likely try to adopt Cozy Glow...come on, you know he would if he got the chance...

just picture the look on Loona's face if Blitz came home with a talking filly with wings and Blitz calls the said pony "Loona's new baby sister"...

maybe the reason why Blitzo loved horse so much, is because they were the only ones who gave him love and attention while growing up in the circus, while his good for nothing Dad, Cash gave all his love and attention to Fizz as well as possibly Barbie...

we don't know what Blitz's Mom was like or if she even gave her son enough love and attention growing up, but we can make only guesses that it might of not of been enough or she may have pulled a Lilith and abandoned her kids to run off and away from the circus life, without thinking about taking her son, daughter and even Fizz with her.

even if Blitz loves his Mom very much, we don't know much about them, we can only make theories and wait until she makes a full appearance and see what she is like.

Blitz did mention before that he sees a therapist, so it could be possible he still sees them and talks with them about his feelings but probably doesn't get too deep into the really dark and traumatic type feelings, maybe only talking only about the small bits of bad stuff that went on in his life.

I wonder if the whole therapist will be brought up again, or if we will end up seeing Blitz at therapy and talking with his therapist.

Stolas and Blitz might not get back together right away, and they don't have to...there is no rush, they need time.

wonder if "Mr. Better Than Blitzo", is working for Stella...or her brother.

I wouldn't put it pass those two to find some guy to make Stolas forget Blitz...who might actually end up falling for Stolas, even if he was possibly paid by Stella and Andrealphus.

Blitz does have people that love him, even if Moxxie might try to deny it...but he does have Millie, Moxxie, Loona and Fizz.

we might not know the full story with Blitz, but we are learning as time goes on, we will learn a bit more when it is time.

and Blitz isn't 100% at fault for those Exes, with only half of them being Exes and the other half being just those that made-out with someone that was drinking too much of that Beezle-Juice stuff...

so technically even if Blitz did make-out with them, he did so in a not so great mindset, and we can assume that those who did make-out with him at Bee's Party and ended up at that Anti-Blitzo Party, weren't Exes and were in fact NOT drunk when they were making-out with a drunk Blitzo...

so half of the people at that Anti-Blitzo Party, like Dennis don't deserve 100% pity...maybe a 94% pity, but not any lower or higher than that...

but it wouldn't be a surprise if Verosika was the only True Ex-Girlfriend at that Anti-Blitzo Party, and Stolas not really being a Boyfriend, but could be in the future...

it could be possible that NONE of the other people at the Anti-Blitzo Party, were even his Ex-Boyfriends, Girlfriends or Partners...

like half of them could of been from Bee's Party, and while some were just one-night stands who misinterpret that they and Blitz were more than just a one-night stand...

Dennis being just like those one-night stands, well maybe only partly...even if both he and Blitz only kissed each other...

but Dennis wasn't even drunk when kissing Blitz, we don't know how drunk Blitz was, but it could of got a lot worse if Loona didn't listen to Bee and Vortex about what was going on with him and if she didn't go and check on him...

even Loona knew what was happening was wrong, even if Dennis seems like sweet and adorkable guy, he was kissing a emotionally hurt guy who got his own feelings hurt at Ozzie's and the one who hurt him the most, might of been Stolas.

Blitz does deserve to be loved, some fans do know this...

and some fans may already know that he isn't fully at fault and there is a reason he pushes others away when they get too close, like with Verosika...

Stolas will need to come to terms that it isn't always about him and Blitz, and there might be a reason why Blitz didn't return his text when he was in the hospital while recovering from what happen.

Loona is a part of Blitz's life, just as Octavia is a part of Stolas's.

Blitz and Loona are there for each other, even if they might not have a 100% perfect father-daughter relationship at times, it does seem to be good between them.

Blitz and Stolas might become more, like become boyfriends in the future, but they need time...and if that means Stolas dating someone else for right now, then I guess that is how it needs to be until those two get back together.

I do wonder if Bee and Vortex, might end up breaking-up over the whole Bee finding out about the whole Anti-Blitzo Party, and half of the people at that party were the same ones who were making-out with Blitz who was giving off bad energy vibes at Bee's Party...

even if Loona still has a small crush on Vortex, even she might feel that crossed a line and would be on both her Dad and Bee's side.

I'm not sure if Bee will ever find out about that party, but I don't think she would be cool with it...there might be a reason why Bee might not be picking up on Loona's energy, or if she did, maybe she ignores it or Loona hides it very well...

but if Bee can't fully like at all pick up on Loona's energy, it might be because she really isn't able to, maybe because of reasons we don't fully know...but if I remember right, Bee did mention about Loona being "sour" so maybe she can still pick up a little from her feelings.

Verosika likely pulled the same thing that Stolas did, but the difference being that her and Blitz were dating and were boyfriend and girlfriend, but she likely made Blitz feel like well, the same way Stolas made him feel...that he needed to "please" his partners for them to stay with him...

and from the words that Verosika used at Ozzie's, there is probably more to the story than just what she told in that little song of hers. like possibly Blitz waking up to the truth that how things were between them weren't okay, and she might never truly love him, and if she did use the "L" word with him, like told him that she loved him...

he likely thought it was a big lie...but at least things between them have gotten a bit better and they might end up being friends.

it can be hard for some people to trust others fully with their hearts in a romantic way, and we only know only half of Blitz's story, but we will learn more later on...

but the heartbreak he caused he does feel remorse for, he wants to try to do better and not do that again. but he got his own heartbreak as well, and it is possible that Blitz may have realized at that Anti-Blitzo Party, that he is in fact in love with Stolas, like maybe he only partly realized it but hasn't fully done so...

I'm not going to view Dennis or even that Alejandro guy that Loona punched in the face, as victims...because of obvious reasons.

and I'm not going to view Stolas as 100% a victim either...

Stolas is the one that called Blitzo (when he, Millie and Moxxie were on a mission), and made the arrangement that had to do with their deal that happens once on a full moon.

he was the one that made it seem all about the "snu-snu", and yeah Blitz wasn't originally going to sleep with Stolas, but technically he did accidentally guilt trip Blitz who could of ignored him and just left with the book...but he didn't, he ended up staying far longer than he was suppose to.

and let's not forget the whole Loo-Loo Land events, even if it was suppose to be just a day with Stolas and Octavia, it was probably and partly a excuse to be around Blitz and flirt with him...and Stolas might of not even fully realized it.

even if Stolas did the right thing in the end, and went after Octavia and comfort her and even agreeing to leave Loo-Loo Land...

Blitz isn't the only one who needs to work on himself, and become better...

Stolas needs to do the same, and we can only hope that both he and Blitz try to talk it more out even if it might be a while.

we don't know the full story on all of Blitz's Exes, and some of those so called "Exes" are probably not really Exes, since half of them were probably at Bee's Party over at the Gluttony Ring, and were probably not even drunk at all when they were kissing a vulnerable Blitz.

still not going to feel fully sorry for Dennis or that Alejandro guy...

Blitz was probably not even half-drunk but was probably close to being fully drunk when he was making-out with Dennis and half the people at the party, and that guy who knew Blitz and is possibly the adoptive father of that hellhound that was flirting with Loona.

he didn't really do anything to stop or protect Blitz when he was making out with almost everyone at that party...he just watched.

Loona had to go and find as well as witness what was going on between Blitz and Dennis, to see that what was happening was NOT okay, and what Dennis and what that Alejandro Imp was doing or tried to do with Blitz, was NOT okay, not in the state Blitz was in...

she did the right thing in stopping what was going on between her Dad and Dennis.

Blitz might be use to being blamed and showed fake-love by his father and even his possible Royal Ex-Boyfriend that was before Stolas.

the word "love" used in a romantic way, likely holds some form of trigger of trauma for Blitz, which likely shows at Ozzie when Moxxie starts his song for Millie.

Blitz may have no problem saying he loves his daughter, and would protect her from danger and making sure she goes to Sloth to see a Doctor...but he might be fragile when it comes to certain loves, like he is fine admiring the love between Millie and Moxxie, but when it comes to his own love life, it is a different story all together.

Barbie hating Blitz, might have a reason that we might not learn right away but could in a future episode...but in theory, it could be possible she was responsible for the fireworks that ended up causing Fizz not to leave that circus tent on time, and causing both Fizz and Blitz to get hurt...so yeah Blitz and that other Imp may have started the fire by accident, that ended up hurting both Blitz and Fizz, with Fizz taking the most damage physically and emotionally.

but Barbie might be even more link to it, but she keeps it a secret...and possibly doesn't view herself as being partly to blame for what happen.

she was likely going to use those fireworks, and maybe she was going to sell them to make some money, but she place them in a spot where Fizz would end up becoming too close to during the fire, and causing them to go off and ended up causing harm to him.

Fizz wouldn't of got so badly hurt and would of made it out on time, if it weren't for those fireworks, that I believe Barbie had played a part in...which might be hinted if we think about her first physical appearance and the whole firework incident with Jimmy.

one of the reasons why Barbie is so mad at Blitz, might have to do with the fireworks, because they went off too early and she was going to sell them behind her family and the rest of the circus's back.

Blitz ends up taking the full blame for what Barbie did to Fizz, even if Blitz is still at fault for the fire, well partly, while the other one is Wally...well the Imp that might possibly be Wally...

the one who might be fully responsible for Fizz getting hurt, when he could of made it out unhurt, could be Barbie's fault.

and the episode where she fully appears in, might hint to this, I'm not 100% sure if I'm right or not, but those fireworks in that episode and the ones in the flashback that shows how Fizz got hurt...

might actually hint that it was Barbie's fault that Fizz didn't make it out on time and is the reason he got so badly hurt...

and even if Blitz does still love Barbie, those feelings might change once he learns the truth, that he is only half to blame for what happen to Fizz, and he wouldn't of gotten so badly hurt if it wasn't for Barbie carelessly placing fireworks in a place where Fizz could accidentally cause them to go off when he was trying to escape the fire.

so it would mean that both Blitz and Fizz got hurt because of Barbie, and if that is true then maybe it will be revealed in the future.

Blitz might end up getting really mad at Barbie for making him feel like he was the only one who hurt Fizz during that time, when really, he wouldn't of gotten hurt and would of escape unharmed if it weren't for her.

and he has every right to be mad at her, if the theory is true, both himself and Fizz wouldn't of ended up getting hurt if it wasn't for her recklessness with the fireworks.

and it isn't like Cash did anything to stop her or keep a better eye on her to make sure she didn't place those fireworks where others could end up being hurt by them...I didn't think about the link between the fireworks in that episode where Barbie appeared in before and the fireworks that appear in the flashback that played a part in Fizz getting hurt...

but it just makes sense to me now, and probably to other fans when you think about it, even if not all fans have to agree about it.

but it might really be hinted that Barbie was responsible for Fizz getting hurt so badly, which wouldn't of happen if she didn't place fireworks in a spot where Fizz was trying to escape.

the fireworks thing, might be only half the reason Barbie never wanted to see Blitz again, and even if we do find that out later on, I'm still going to view that she was the reason Fizz and Blitz got hurt by those fireworks...

Blitz didn't just get heartbreak romantically, but also in the platonic way as well.

he should try not to worry about romance or even Stolas or his possible new boyfriend right now, he should just be around those who love him and will be there to comfort him, like Fizz, Loona, Moxxie and Millie.

he just needs time to heal and he needs to fully realize that he isn't the only one at fault for what happen between himself and his Exes, with only half of them actually being Exes and the others being like Dennis and Alejandro...those two weren't even Blitz's Boyfriends or even Ex-Boyfriends...so I'm not going to fully feel sorry for Dennis, who was kissing a emotionally hurt and vulnerable Blitz...

even if those Exes and those who aren't truly Exes at all, might think they are fully the victims of Blitz, they aren't...and I'm not going to feel sorry for all of them, not the ones who don't deserve it and use Blitz as the scapegoat for how things ended between them and him.

half of them took kissing advantage of him obviously, I mean he was drunk, and probably not like only a little drunk or half-drunk, but he was possibly fully drunk and those who were kissing him, weren't drunk at all...so Dennis has no room to talk about he is the full victim of getting his heart broken by Blitz.

I guess I didn't really think about it before until now, but if it is true then Blitz might really be the victim who was in a very vulnerable state.

and the people at Bee's Party, had ignored it and the reason why Blitz was drinking those feelings away as well as making-out with strangers, is because of what happen at Ozzie's and what those at Ozzie's made him feel, and Stolas being part of the reason why Blitz felt so bad and felt the need to drink and kiss strangers, even if it was his drunk self that ended up doing so...it was being led by pure sadness, as he felt the need to try to drown his sorrows and forget how much it hurts.

Blitzo, Angel and Adam might have a bit in common, all three of them try to escape through both food, drinks and you know what Angel uses...

Adam likely ate his feelings away, which he wouldn't of been the first...I mean before I lost so much weight because of that depression I had in 2015, where I didn't eat very much and well I know it was either 2016 or 2017 when I ended up getting that second depression, which I really didn't need...but it could be possible that Adam may have had depression, but hides it through well how he talks and treats others that aren't close to him.

still gonna view him as a bit of a Tsundere.

it might be just me that is going to view him as a Tsundere...

is it weird I like him a bit more than Lilith...?

I mean I already suspect that she isn't as great as Charlie makes her out to be, and there could be more to the story that had tells of the past between Lucifer, Lilith, Adam and Eve then we know...

I don't really fully respect or view Gran-Gran Lilith from our universe as a full victim anymore, not after realizing she could of stop her and Adam's eldest children from being hurt by those Three Angels...

and there is that whole realizing she was pregnant when she left Adam when they had that fight, and she didn't give birth to demons but humans who were both her and Adam's children, and at some point in the future when one of Adam and Lilith's surviving daughters grew older and became a woman, she likely met and fell in love with Cain and their descendant met and fell in love with a descendant of Seth's...

and I guess I don't mind much of Gran-Gran Lilith's Counterparts, and yeah being possibly both her and Eve's Descendant Granddaughter, and being part of a "Evalith Bloodline"...still not going to fully respect her, or even Eve...maybe Eve gets a bit of a better respect but not anything past a 98 or 99%, for some good reasons...but even Eve messed up by not trying to help Cain before things got out of hand, and both Eve and Adam share the blame for that, and not stopping Abel from getting a ego and thinking what he was doing was "okay" and ended up not doing anything when Grandpa Cain was going to go through a very dangerous breaking point...

I'm still going to view that both Cain and Abel were at fault and they were both victims.

Blitz is both at fault and a victim as well, and even he can ended up reaching a very dangerous breaking point...

I don't know what else to say about my thoughts about how both he and his Exes and those who aren't even Exes like Dennis...

but there could be a lot to the story of why Blitz is the way he is, and we can only make out bits and pieces and can only make some guesses and come up with theories as to why the whole "love" thing is a very sensitive thing for him.

those people, like Dennis and even Stolas, they would need to work on themselves and become better too, not just Blitzo.

because Blitz isn't the only one who is at fault, he might share part of the blame but he is also a victim, and he might feel bad for hurting those that appeared at that Anti-Blitzo Party, but it could be possible that only half of them do deserve to be felt sorry for, while others like Dennis, do not...even if they might seem like it, but really they might not deserve to be felt sorry for or any form of pity at all.

and whether Verosika openly admits it fully or not, she might of taken the first few steps into admitting that she had hurt Blitz just as much as he hurt her...and they might still take baby steps in having things get more better between them...but it doesn't mean it will be same for all of Blitz's Exes or even those like Dennis...

and who knows, maybe Striker will become a "Good Guy" and end up helping Blitz and Stolas, maybe...

and yeah, I'm going to agree with others on the possibility that Striker could be Ace, but we wont fully know for sure or the type of Ace he is.

it's a big umbrella...and there are some Aces that do have "snu-snu" with their respective romantic partners, and most people would learn this from looking it up and learning those facts...

and I haven't really flux in well, maybe since either 2021 or 2022...

it might be because the times when I did feel that certain way before, it was because it wasn't truly my own half the time, and it was because I was picking up on the Toxic-Lust energy of others who were in a different room from me...you can still have the V-Card and still pick up those energies...

I keep my gem bracelets on a lot for a reason, a few multi-purposes reasons...of course I have to use dream-catchers as well, because it turns out it isn't just the Incubus that scared me awake before that I have to worry about...I still think what scared me awake before, was a Incubus...and that happen way before those three close calls where I figured out I was dream-walking and was being lured by Toxic-Lust energy...I can maybe talk a bit more about it another time, and well it was just three close calls and lucky nothing happen, but it was only the two out of the close calls that were really scary for me.

so yeah even before starting to protect myself from certain energies and even protecting myself from another Incubus surprise, even if I didn't see the Incubus...but I know it was possibly one, cause the dang jerk scared me awake...I think I may have still been vulnerable...which is why the dream-catchers were needed.

to stop those dream-walking from happening, to stop that Toxic-Lust energy from getting through...if I'm going to "Dream-Walk" I rather it be to universes that are normally 100% fictional in this reality.

I'm not 100% sure if the whole dream-catchers thing will work for everyone, like for those who are Ace or not Ace at all who might of figured out they might be a type of Empath but weren't fully aware of it before but had figure it out later that the reason they ended up feeling that certain way at times, wasn't truly their own but was the energy they were picking up and it was mixing with their natural energies...

it could be possible some "Toxic-Lust energies" might of prevented me from figuring out I may have always been Ace, I'm not fully sure...

but I rather not go through that again really, it was maybe a bit of a nightmare...I mean those three close calls I had before were nightmares as well...

but it didn't really feel good at all...like when it became too much, like even if ya could try to ignore it and try to just sleep it off or maybe take your mind off with a movie or show or playing a video game or maybe read a book...I did hate it, I didn't like how it was starting to feel and it might of been before I started to use even more gem bracelets and well...I rather not go through the thing I'm not going to say again...because yeah, as embarrassing as it is...I had felt that way before, but I now know half of the time it wasn't fully mine, but the energies I was picking up in real life...and it might be part of the reason why I fell for the wrong guys, maybe both in real life and online...of course the guys I knew in real life and had crushes on had no interest in me or my feelings, and one of them was possibly the reason I had ended up over doing it before with the eating and ended up well...a bit overweight before, but like I said before I had lost a lot of weight when that depression happen in 2015...

and while I do snack at times, I think I do a bit better to not over do it now...at least I think I do...

I have no interest in trying to pursue any romantic partnerships currently, and while I still want to call dibs on Mammon's sorry excuse of a Apple Sugar Spice, because he needs to stop being a Apple Sugar Spice Honey Of Liquid Egg and stop amplifying humans own greed...but my wanting to call dibs on him, is not like the whole Millie saying that Moxxie's Apple Sugar Spice belongs to her...

but if I was allowed to and was able to, I would still want to slap Mammon...and I'm of course talking about the one from our universe...he freaking knows why probably why I want to slap him...and well my wanting to slap him, and calling dibs on him, is way different from my bad luck with the guys I had feelings for before, but it probably wasn't even 100% in love, probably like that crush that only feels like your "in love" when really your not...

Blitz might be right to be suspicious of the Mammon from the same universe as him though...but if the Mammon from Helluva Boss and the one from this universe were one in the same, I'm still calling dibs on his Apple Sugar Spice, because if it were possible and if I was allowed to and if it weren't just thoughts and feelings that might never happen...I would slap him...

once again, thinking and feeling like doing it, doesn't really mean you will...but I might still have the thoughts of wanting to slap him one...

anyway, I think that I can only go on with very little about Blitz and his Exes, and even those who aren't really Exes but are like Dennis.

and even if it wasn't really plan, maybe I will make a part 3 of this...

or maybe not, we will have to wait and see...

we might learn more about Blitz's past later on, and even if some people might of not liked that Apology Tour episode, I and others did enjoy it...even if it did have it's sad moments, but the episode was still good and had some interesting surprises, like with Mayberry and Martha...

anyway in a little bit, I will post another drawing up...and sorry if this theory isn't perfect, but I think I can only get so much ideas about well the whole Exes and Blitz thing, but I do believe that both sides are at fault, and Blitz needs to fully realize that he isn't the only "bad person" in what happen between him and his Exes...

maybe the sooner he realizes he isn't as terrible as others make him out to believe, like by both his Dad, Sister and half of his Exes...

maybe the better his heart and love for himself, can heal.

so long as he doesn't meet another guy like that Dennis, who I'm not going to view as being a true Ex or a full victim...maybe only a small bit of a victim because of his feelings were hurt, but he was kissing a emotional vulnerable Blitz...who was drunk, and I'm pretty sure Dennis was sober, so yeah...still not going to be fully on Dennis's side.

or even on the side of that Alejandro that Loona punched in the face, that guy deserved that punch...

#do not reblog without permission #not for kids #mature audiences only #helluva boss theory #blitzø #blitzo helluva boss #stolas helluva boss #verosika mayday helluva boss #cash buckzo #drunk #heartbreak #scapegoating #part 2 #july 2024

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savebatsfromscratch · 8 months ago

Text

Hockey Watching - Palletshipping Week 1 (Roommates)

Summary:

Gary and Ash watch a hockey game together. (Au notes in final note in ao3 version, I put them at the top in this one.)

Notes:

Prompt: Roommates Note: The first thing I went to was watching a Hockey game together. …for some reason. I kinda made up my own Pokemon world teams, but feel free to imagine your favorite team I guess. (Though if it’s not the Sabers I don’t want you here. /light hearted) Also, for the record, they’re kind of American coded in this one. Whoops. I apologize for this look into my mind. Cws: Surprise kiss, sort of nonsensical writing Words: 1,791

End Notes:

…dude this is such a mess. (<- did not even try to edit it.) Here’s a fun secret, I headcannon Blake (from Pokemon Adventures) as a Hockey player, and I made his number his dexholder number! :D I also headcannon Jun (from Pokemon Diamond and Pearl Adventure) as a Hockey player, and I made his number “3” because he has three total pokemon lol. I also put Hareta (from the same series) on his team and made him number “1” because that’s the number of my favorite Sabers goalie. :3 I also Headcannon Barry and Jun as triplets (the third being Pearl from Pokemon Adventures.) I also had to make up a last name for both Jun and Blake. For Jun I gave him “Aemilius,” because I went the roman route and it “was originally derived from the Latin word aemulus, which referred to equal or rival.” (iGENEA) And I gave Blake Rasmussen because it starts with an “r” sound and so does his Japanese name AND Rasmussen would look SICK on a Hockey jersey.

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54803911

Prompts from here: @/shigerussato

Fic under the cut!

Gary plopped down on the couch in front of the already flickering TV, one hand clutched around a large can of some gross thing that Delia had bought them, and the other clinging desperately to an overfilled bowl of chicken wings. Already on the couch, Ash laughed and turned up the volume on the TV with the remote that he had apparently located. (Last time Gary had checked in, the two of them had been pretty sure that that thing was gone for good.)

“Is the game on yet?” He asked, setting the huge cup down on the coffee table (and releasing a short prayer that it wouldn’t spill) as he looked up at the current rush of ads across the television screen, “Who’s winning?”

Ash giggled and got halfway through a, “Not yet Oak,” before stopping and realizing that something was still missing from their Hockey watching spree. “Um, you did get us napkins, right?”

Gary looked around himself, and though he saw Ash’s fingerless glove clad hand already covered in Buffalo sauce, hovering unsurely about the rest of the chicken wings, he saw no napkins. “Oh dang it,” He let out an exasperated cry and smacked a hand to his forehead, “I forgot them in the other room, here, I’ll get them-,”

He went to stand, but all of a sudden the announcer sprang to life before them.

“Welcome to today’s game of Hockey,” he was saying, voice strong and accented like an old radio star, and speaking just as fast, “We’ve got a very interesting match up today,”

The second announcer interrupted, sounding just as excited as the first, “Thankfully for the Snowpoint Legends, it seems that number 3, Jun Aemilius, is back on the ice, after his injury on Wednesday we were getting worried that he might not be able to make it to the next game, but it seems the medics came through!”

“And based on today’s lineup for the Icirrus Truths, the Legends may have really needed the return. I mean, ever since number 16, Blake Rasmussen, was traded into the team from the Castelia Ideals, the Truths have been rising in power across the league,”

“However, the new goalie for the Legends, number 1, Hareta Rowan, might be able to match Rasmussen’s intensity,”

“Do you know who they’re talking about?” Gary whispered to Ash, who seemed to have given up on napkins and was instead licking his fingers clean. (Seeing this, he quickly flushed red and looked back to the screen, pretending to be looking for clues there, though he hoped Ash would not guess the true reason for his newfound focus. …though it wouldn’t have been a problem if he had known.)

“Number three for the Legends is triplets with one of my rivals from when I was in Sinnoh,” Ash commented, watching as the camera tracked after a very attractive blond offensive player as if it was a totally normal comment to make to his current rival.

Gary suddenly reached for a can on the table, suddenly realizing that his throat felt dry.

“None of that,” Ash waved his hands back and forth, flinging a speck or two of leftover sauce into Gary’s face, “I still love you the most,” he looked down at the cans, “Plus, those are non-alcoholic,”

Gary put his head in his hands, laughing. Had Ash assumed he had been trying to get drunk? “I’m just thirsty Ash,” he said, “and you reminded me of what your mom bought us,”

Ash made a face, studying the cans critically, “I wouldn’t suggest trying those, they’re probably flavored, like, pumpkin pie or crayons or something,”

Gary studied the can in the brightness of the ice from the screen. “The first one,” he told Ash, making a face, “Pumpkin pie seltzer, are you kidding me? Where does she even get them?”

“The Viridian Pokemart I think,” Ash said, snuggling a bit closer to Gary under the guise of checking out the ingredients of the strange drink.

“Why would she go all the way to Viridian to get-,” Gary cut himself off as the game suddenly kicked into action on the screen in front of them. Ash too sat up, suddenly on the edge of his seat as the puck rushed from player to player, currently held by the Truths. Gary glanced over at Ash’s face, noticing that he didn’t look super happy about that fact.

“Soo…” Gary tried, now his turn to scoot closer, “Are we rooting for the Legends?”

“Would you want to root for a team from Unova?”

“Fair point,”

The two sat together, watching as the action moved from player to player, occasional crashes and shrieks coming up from the players as they crashed together and into various metal walls. Gary found himself leaning forward and hissing in anticipation as the puck shot towards the goal on their side, but joined Ash in whooping when the (apparently not-so-rookie) goalie expertly blocked the shot, catching it under his glove and sending up cheers among the crowd on his side of the stadium.

Ash grabbed Gary’s arm and shook him, as if Gary had watched more than a couple of games before to understand quite what that meant for his team. “Did you see that?!” He asked, sounding almost as excited as he always had before their battles, “That was so cool!”

The fact that Gary didn’t quite understand the game did not stop him from sharing Ash’s excitement. (Though he suspected that was more due to the fact that his rival was all but climbing into his lap in nervous joy about the game.)

“Yeah,” Gary said, watching somewhat in awe as the players sped from side to side in the advertisement lined rink.

They continued to watch like that, whooping as number three on their team managed a goal and hissing as 16, Blake, on the other side finally managed one of his own. At one point, their hands met in the chicken wing bowl, and of course Ash couldn’t help but joke that it was the most affectionate they’d been since getting back to Pallet together. (Gary shoved him off his shoulder and laughed it off, but the entire next period passed before he was done blushing about it.)

Advertisements passed as Gary left to refill the snacks, and he found himself grinning with the draw to watch the game as he saw it starting up again.

“You have to admit that this is just as interesting as watching a Pokemon battle,” Ash said, between bites of chicken wing, looking expectantly up at Gary.

“And nowhere near as irritating,” Gary added, breaking off in the middle of his sentence to take a large sip of pumpkin pie seltzer. (Which was honestly even more interesting than Delia had advertised it as being.) “I’m not there picking through every mistake they make,”

They both cringed as, number three, the forward on the team they had decided to root for just barely missed an easy shot.

“For the most part anyway,” Gary corrected

“For the most part anyway,” Ash laughed, agreeing with him.

They looked forward, and the game went back into that comfortable blur as the announcers led the cheers (or boos) as players entered and left the ice. (Though Gary found himself realizing that the two rivals were getting oddly close again as the final period began to wrap up. Even if the “close together” in question was more like, “just about falling off the couch with how focused they were on the flashing screen,”)

They cheered as their goalie blocked yet another would-have-been goal, and then cheered even louder as their team managed to actually complete a goal of their own. They were back in the lead by one, and with only a couple of seconds remaining on the clock, and a major player of the Truths out for misconduct earlier in the match, it was looking good.

“Comeon comeon,” Ash muttered, his fingers digging into Gary’s shoulders as he leaned even further forward, “Just hold the goal for one more-,”

“No!” They both shrieked, watching as their goalie, the one named like his region’s professor, was knocked to the ground by an opposing player, allowing the puck to sail cleanly into the net behind him.

Making the game tied, and sending it into overtime as Ash jolted to his feet, taking two large steps forward and echoing the announcer as he yelped. “How was that not an illegal move!”

Gary stood and walked to meet him, but found his eyes similarly glued to the screen as the teams reset for the tie breaking move. In his still lacking understanding of the game, he couldn’t quite tell what was happening, but the energy in the crowd (and in Ash), was enough to tell him that, whatever it was, it was seriously interesting.

He squinted at the glowing ice, and then found himself jumping up and down as he spotted number three dragging the puck forward and towards the opposing goal. He was moving like lightning, skirting around nearly every other player as he raced for the win.

Ash and Gary watched in slow motion as 16, Blake, from the other team fought to catch up with Jun, and cheered as he crashed into a defenseman from his own team, clearly still at least a little shaken up from his apparent injury on Wednesday as the two skidded across the ice together, their balance lost.

It happened so fast that Gary almost missed it, but the puck banged against the net and the stadium exploded. Even with the TV on low volume, Gary truly felt like he was among the screaming fans as Ash jumped up and down beside him. Clapping his hands together and shivering in excitement. To Gary, the sight was almost funny, but as he opened his mouth to say something about it, he found himself the one taken aback as Ash jumped up and kissed him.

They hung that way for a moment, Gary feeling like he was floating in sudden joy as Ash’s arms wrapped briefly around his shoulders, only to be dragged back away again as his friend suddenly pulled back, face bright red.

“Oh I-,” he tried to explain himself, “I didn’t mean to-,”

Gary’s face was definitely bright red, but he didn’t care. “Well,” he said, grabbing Ash’s hands and leaning forward, “Do it again and I might think about coming back for the next game,”

He smirked as Ash stuttered out a sudden, “I love you,” right before Gary pulled them back into a kiss as the cheers of the crowd echoed through the dark room.

(Even if their mouths tasted like buffalo chicken wings and pumpkin pie seltzer.)

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bodypaintsculptures · 1 year ago

Text

High Priestess | Chapter 1: Why Now?

A/N: Hey lovelies!!! Welcome to the new edited version of High Priestess!! I have decided to post the full chapters on here as well as on Wattpad! I have made a few adjustments to all chapters. I have also renamed a lot of the chapters as well as adding some new chapters in! The plot has changed slightly but the overall story has remained the same! A big thank you to @alovesreading for being such a big help with the storyline! You are a gem! Please lemme know what you think and if you would like to be tagged!! H x

Synopsis: A down on their luck Welsh band, High Priestess, finally get the big break they were looking for - a supporting spot for one of the UK's biggest successes; the Arctic Monkeys. Was this finally the opportunity they needed to kick start their dream careers of being a successful rock band? Or will a tumultuous relationship between the two lead singers and a secret confession of devotion ultimately be too much to handle for the three best friends from Cardiff?

Word Count: 4.5K

Warnings: swearing, drug usage, mentions of death, mental health issues and sexual content throughout this fic.

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"Letting the days go by, letting the water hold me down..."

The speaker sang, quietly as to not to disturb the customers in the bookstore, well all two of them.

"Letting the days go by, water flowing underground..."

Niko sighed exhaustedly, her tired frame leaning against the glass countertop, watching as the customers came and went without so much as buying a thing.

She was bored.

She always was when it was her turn to close, or even open, or just be here, she thought with a melancholy hum.

That's when she saw someone or rather, her, caught the woman's attention. Sat nose deep in a tattered old book, the cover faded and the title unreadable to the distant blonde sat at her cash register. She was always in here, reading whatever she could put her hands on, alone. But she was always smiling.

Linda.

With a heavy roll of her eyes and lethargic push, Niko got to her feet, wandering over to the gray haired woman that had taken a seat in the reading area. Her presence was enough to make the woman glance up from the book she looked very interested in. There was a moment of silence between the two before Niko spoke up, her tone flat and fed up.

"Look Linda, y'know what I'm gonna say..." Niko drew out, scratching the back of her neck. It was the same thing she always said to her; "You can't sit 'ere and read the whole book and then put it back, you have to at least buy it first." Her tone remained flat as it always did when she told the woman, sick of spitting out the same words.

Linda gave the blonde a small happy smile, the crows feet surrounding her eyes wrinkling in her old age. "My apologies Niko." She sat up, fetching her purse from the bag that leant against the leg of the sofa she had occupied for quite some time. "How much?"

Niko blew out a breath, and shrugged her shoulders. Usually she would scan the barcode of the book to see what the system would say but this book was so beaten up and falling apart at the seams, that there was no barcode, or even really a front cover. Niko shook her head, she couldn't really charge an extortionate price for something that looked like that.

"A pound." The blonde eventually said, piquing the old woman's interest but she didn't question the young lady's decision and fished out some money from her purse.

"Have a fiver, my dear." Linda responded, giving the blonde a folded up five pound note.

Frowning, Niko took the five pound note from the old lady without so much as a complaint, god knows the store needs it, letting out a small 'thank you' ash she did. She pocketed the note in her checkerboard trousers, reminding herself to deposit it into the cash register when she returned to her post in just a few seconds. However, before she could get there, Linda was trying to strike up a conversation with the uninterested blonde.

"How's life been treating you, my dear?" Linda asked with a smile, the book she'd been nose deep in, now folded close on the coffee table in front of her.

Niko stuttered for a second, muttering something about getting back to the desk but Linda quickly chuckled that away. "There's only one other person in here apart from me dear, I think you've got a bit of time, no?"

With a tentative glance around the store to the only other person in it, a middle aged man lost inside a war book, Niko sighed and decided to take Linda up on her offer of a light conversation. It would make my shift go quicker anyway.

The blonde took a seat opposite the gray haired woman and with another heavy sigh, answered the question that had been poised to her, with little enthusiasm. "Same shit, different day." Niko almost chuckled at the irony that was her life but before doing so, realised what she had said, and quickly apologised for her cursing; "Sorry."

Seeing the young woman flush in front of her, Linda let out a quiet chuckle. "It's no problem my dear."

She had always referred Niko as a dear even though every time they would speak, it was the blonde telling her to either buy the book she was reading or leave. Not usually a very amicable conversation that would warrant such a phrase to be used.

Though, Linda was a sweet woman. she always had a smile on her face, she always wanted to strike up a conversation, even with Niko's soured personality. But from those conversations, forced or not, Niko had learnt about Linda's life and how she would come by the bookstore to read and enjoy the company of others since her husband had died a few years ago and her children lived abroad. Niko had felt sorry for her, that this was her only solace to feel a sense of togetherness in this world and would usually be happy to converse with her when she first started coming by. But these days, these days, the blondes mood had soured and her patience wore thin, making it difficult for her to hold a conversation with customers in a job she had come to loathe.

"How's the band going?" Linda questioned, snapping Niko back from her thoughts and filling the silent emptiness of the bookstore.

Niko hummed, the band.

"Good." She quipped a small sweet lie. Niko didn't want to burden the gray haired woman with the depressing truth, not when she didn't really want to admit it to herself, so she continued; "Had a few auditions to support a few bands, sent some demo's to some labels..." The blonde exaggerated, slightly, as she drifted off into thought.

The truth was, it wasn't good at all. They hadn't got one call back from audiences nor had they really sent that many demo's out to places.

And if Niko was being really honest, she had contemplated quitting the band on more than a few occasions over the last couple of months. after years of trying, they weren't getting anywhere. All they seemed to do was play small gigs in pubs and small venues across South Wales and at this point there were just kind of existing. For her, there seemed to be no breakthrough in sight and she was just about ready to give up that part of her life. Of course, Niko had tried her best over the years to keep the band together, for the sake of her sanity, but it was getting to the point where even that was starting to waver. Although the band had become the only solace away from the mundane reality she had come to know as her life, there was no longer any motivation or inspiration for her, now it was more like a nightmare.

"And?" Linda pressed, seeing the vacant expression on the blondes face.

Niko shrugged, slouching back in the chair. "Tha's it... just kinda waiting." She lent Linda a small smile, hoping that would satisfy the older woman.

But Linda could see the dull emptiness in Niko's eyes. It was the eyes of someone who was ready to give up.

Leaning across the gap between them, Linda grabbed Niko's hand, and gave her a sympathetic smile. "Well, I'm sure someone will pick you up dear, I think you and your friends have a good thing going there." She reassured.

Though Niko was finding it hard to agree with the optimistic woman, she gave her another forced smile of appreciation nonetheless, pretending as if her words actually mattered in the grand scheme of things. Which, regrettably, they did not.

"I'm no music connoisseur, but I know something sounds good when I hear it and you, my dear, have a beautiful voice." The gray haired complimented determinedly.

She had heard Niko singing along with the music in the store on a few occasions and had found appreciating it's beautiful harmonies, so much so that it had stopped her from reading her books.

The compliment made Niko's cheeks flush and her forced smile turned more genuine on her cherry painted lips. "Thank you, Linda."

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After that quick interaction with the bookstore's regular customer, nothing much else happened for the rest of Niko's shift. Just the boring rigmarole of watching customers come and go without so much as buying anything, all the while Linda sat, reading the book she'd bought for more than it was worth.

When it came to closing time, Linda was the last one to leave the store, as she always was when she came to visit. Niko let the gray haired woman out with a forced smile and a quick 'see you again' on her lips, like they always did. But this time, before the blonde could close the door and lock it up, Linda stopped her short, grabbing her outstretched arm.

"You should believe in yourself a bit more, my dear." Linda whispered encouragingly before giving the blonde a small wave.

Niko just nodded, watching the old woman, with the permanent smile on her face, make her way down the dimly lit street with a sigh. Believe in myself, Niko found herself thinking, what was there to believe in anymore?

From then, Niko did what she always did when closing the store; cleaned up any books people had discarded after reading them and not paying; cashed up the minuscule amount of money they'd taken for the day; turned the lights off and finally locked the store up, always with the same though crossing her mind; I hope it burns down.

Now, Niko wasn't an arsonist per say, but just the thought of one day turning up for work and seeing the place burnt to a crisp brought a sense of ease to her. As if its singed state would finally release her from the boring monotony of her every day, nine to five, life she had fallen victim to.

But, unfortunately for her, that day never seemed to come. No one seemed to want to burn a bookstore down and so, depressively enough, the cycle of Niko's life continued to roll on, unchanged and uneventful.

It wasn't as if Niko hated the bookstore or the thousands of books that it held. Truth was, Niko used to love reading. Well, used to.

She used to love being sucked in by the characters and their adventures, used to love being transported to a world where she could tag along for the ride and experience the emotions of the characters would endure on their conquests for love or revenge. She used to love drawing inspiration from the pages of a book or the lines of a poem, able to dream up her own stories in the form of lyrics. But now, well, that inspiration ceased to exist. Those words she would once worship as if their own religion, were now just meaningless. They did not provoke a sense of wonder or a flicker of light inside the stone could heart she had grown over the years.

It had all become a nothingness to her. Just like her life.

Checking that the door was secure, Niko walked away from the bookstore, hoping that it would finally be the last time she was there, but it never was. She hoped nonetheless, a hoping that was slowly fading.

The blonde walked down the same dimly lit street that she had watched Linda walk down not half an hour before, but instead of walking straight ahead like her counterpart had, she took a swift left, heading down a familiar side street with only one thing on her mind. I need a strong drink.

She arrived at her preferred destination not two minutes later, staring up at the low lit sign that read 'The Queen Vaults'. It was like every other olde-worlde pub in Cardiff; dark exterior and stained glass windows, but this place evoked something inside Niko that made it seem different. It was her place, their place. And the memories that evoked inside her, brought a well-needed genuine smile to her face. It was a place she did not have to think twice about entering, giving the bouncer, Dave a customary "hello" as she did, as the familiar smell hit her senses and made her heart sing.

Stale beer and piss.

It probably sounded horrible to anyone else and would probably put them off ever stepping inside, but to her and her friends, it was the smell of home, the smell of memories; the smell of a good time.

Wasting no time at all, the blonde made her way to the bar, her small stature pushing past a group of rowdy lads who had decided to call it home for the night before she reached her destination with a heavy sigh.

"Packed in 'ere tonight." She quipped annoyedly and leaned against the sticky bar, lined with dried beer.

The bartender nodded with a roll of her eyes. "There's a footie game on tha's why, Wales playin' some... other European team." She drifted off not really caring, and neither did Niko. Sport really wasn't her thing. She did not understand why people raved about watching sweaty men chasing after a ball and falling over dramatically. It all seemed a bit too gay to her. "So we're a bit busier-- the usual?"

"Yeah please, CJ." Niko smiled, glad that she was able to get served quickly.

God knows I needed it.

CJ, or Cleo, was Niko's best friend and also the drummer of their ill fated band. They had known each other since they were six, they went to school together, grew up together. She had started working at their local when she was eighteen, just as Niko had gotten a job around the corner at the bookstore. Since then, after every shift, Niko would swing by for a drink and another and another, until it was usually those two laughing and drunkenly joking around at the bar until the early hours of the morning. Although, it was to the annoyance of CJ's boss, the man wasn't going to stop them as they paid their way through, even with the little money they had. Their drinking habits at the pub, also seemed to play in their favour, as her boss afforded them their first proper gig, even if it was in front of about ten people, most of which were the locals they begged to attend.

But that was nearly eight years ago, and since then, not much has changed. Unfortunately.

"One 'double' for the sexist lady 'ere." CJ smirked upon her return, a vodka lime soda in hand. "And a bit extra, free of charge of course." She winked.

Niko smirked at her friend's insistence on adding more alcohol that she was allowed to. If she was going to let her get drunk, she definitely wasn't going to complain about it.

The blonde let out a small "thank you" to her friend, grabbing two straws from the side and taking a healthy sip of it, immediately being hit by how strong her friend had actually made it. She pursed her lips as the strong liquor burned its way down her throat, almost making her cough, before she began looking around the packed pub.

"Are the two idiots 'ere?" She questioned the bartender, with a raise of her perfectly slicked eyebrow.

CJ nodded. "Usual spot." Gesturing towards the secluded booth in the corner where two people sat hidden away. Niko smiled seeing them from a distance and began walking over, CJ shouting that she would be joining them in a minute.

Before Niko had even got half way there, one of the idiots was already on their feet, shouting at her with their arms wide open. Larry.

"There she is!" He sang, engulfing his friend in a bear hug, making her chuckle.

Larry was another friend Niko had known since primary school. Herself, CJ and Larry had been inseparable since then. He was also the keyboardist and technician for their band, and although he wasn't officially part of the trio, Niko was insistent that he be the adopted fourth member which Larry was happy enough to accept. He was easy going, didn't really mind having a title or not. Besides, this was a side gig for him, away from his full time job as a tattoo artist, so the whole "being part of the band" thing never bothered him.

Niko slipped in next to her friend and was greeted by the other idiot she mentioned to CJ; Viola.

The woman with a permanent smile on her face. A smile that was sometimes a nice sight and sometimes the death of her. Niko was convinced that Larry had tattooed the joker-like grin on her because there was no way for someone to be happy all the time, but then she would remembered that Viola wasn't good with needles and had fainted every time Larry or any other tattoo artists had attempted to tattoo her, so that was was just how she was, naturally.

"How was work?" Viola questioned, her perfectly manicured nails playing with the ends of her long, blonde hair.

Viola stuck out like a sore thumb compared to the rest of them. She wore more than monochrome colours they did and her skin was always perfectly tanned, not to mention her flawless hair and make up. But that's what you get for being beauty technician by day and a heavy metal lover by night.

Though was the other didn't have in Viola's flawlessness, they made up for it in tattoos. All three of them were covered. Larry from his leg, to his arms, his torso and neck, CJ -- who had now slotted herself in next to Viola -- had a sleeved arm and tattoos covering her thighs, while Niko herself was covered in them from her arms to her legs and the majority of her back.

They looked like a group of pot smoking goths who had kidnapped one of the prettiest and more popular girls at school and were holding her captive.

"Bollocks as always." Niko tutted in a fed up tone, slumping against the ripped leather seats of the booth.

She was fed up with everything at this point; her boring life, her boring job, her boring everything. But she wasn't about to start ranting, not again at least. She had done enough of that over the years and although it depressed her, she wasn't about to depress her friends.

Though it always had Niko pondering that surely there was more to life than this.

That more was yet to be found.

"Aww well, at least you're getting paid." Viola smiled at Niko trying to be positive about her friend's situation, ever the optimist.

Although her upbringing had allowed her to be, especially when her dad was famous, well famous in Wales at least. Which, if you play international rugby for Wales, you were considered just that. Now, Niko wasn't that into rugby either but Viola's dad was the sweetest man she had ever met, he had helped his daughters band out a lot over the years, even converting his one of his spare bedrooms into a recording studio for them.

Anything for his little princess, Niko chuckled to herself, envious of the relationship she had with her father. But that didn't take away from the fact that Viola had had it easier than the rest of the group. She'd been born with a silver spoon in her mouth and not had to endure the same sort of upbringings as Niko, CJ and Larry had.

But she was still a humble girl with aspirations as big as the rest of them and she was a great friend to have.

"And we gotta gig on Friday, so we can get some money from that too!" Viola smiled happily. For someone who looked like a Barbie doll from the 1970's, she didn't half love rocking out on stage.

Fat chance of that, Niko thought as she held her tongue. These days it cost more in fuel money and set up than what they actually got paid, and usually Niko would give them the money before she'd give herself a cut, which would leave her with only enough for one lousy microwaveable meal.

But Niko wasn't going to dampen the mood with that information. Instead the blonde just hummed in response, picking apart the beer mat her drink sat on as the thought of leaving the band became more attractive as time went on.

CJ whooped in her usually chirpy mood at that fact. She wasn't as positive as Viola, but she was more positive than Niko, who was a pessimist at the best of times.

"And check this out... I 'ave some news." CJ wiggled her painted on eyebrows, diving her hand into her apron to retrieve her phone.

As CJ sat doing whatever on her phone, Niko glanced around the table uninterested. However, that uninterest was quickly curbed when she saw a pair of silly smiles on the faces of Larry and Viola, making her eye them suspiciously.

Something was going on. They never usually smiled like that, even on a good day, so it confused the blonde on why they both looked so demented. She was just about to voice her curiosities at their psychotic looks, when CJ shoved her phone in her hand with the same unnerving smile gracing her lips, and began to speak up;

"I had an email today 'bout one of the demos we sent to tha label, uh fuckin' Domino?" Niko nodded remembering. "And they said tha they loved our demo and wanted to send a representative out to watch us 'n potentially being a supporting act for, get this--" The bartender paused, the silly smile still on her lips, and eyes wide with excitement as she blurted out. "The Arctic Monkeys."

Niko's head snapped up at that name. Her heart skipped a beat. Wait... what?

As quickly as her head had snapped up at the mention of the Arctic fucking Monkeys, it had snapped back down again, reading over what CJ had confirmed. It took Niko a few moments as she read it once, twice, three times over, unable to suffice if this was some kind of sick joke or stupid prank they were playing on her. She checked it again, eyebrows firmly knitted together, trying her hardest to debunk its legitimacy but she couldn't. It was true, staring her right in the face in black and white; she wasn't lying.

That was when all the air in Niko's body left, leaving her dumbfounded. She was almost numbed by the truthful information that stared back at her, greeting her with a smile. But the blonde just couldn't seem to be able to accept it, she couldn't seem to understand it. This couldn't be real, she thought in disbelief, not us.

But it was.

Overloaded with it all, Niko's eyes began to pool with tears, blurring her vision. She once again ran her eyes over the email, trying her hardest not to believe that any of this was true.

Why now? Was all she could think.

Why now? After so many years of trying, of trying so desperately to get the recognition they wanted or maybe even deserved. Why now? After all the long nights travelling around the small bars and venues of South Wales. Why now? After she had finally been ready to give this empty dream up, after she finally decided that enough was enough, she was going to quit the band.

Why now?

Niko was speechless, motionless as she finally glanced up from her friend's phone to the rest of them, sat around the table, eagerly awaiting her response. She could tell that they already knew, CJ seemingly had been too excited not to say anything the second they had walked into the bar that evening and with Niko working until late they had agreed to tell her together when she arrived.

Niko didn't know if to burst out crying or laugh.

She was stuck, confused, overwhelmed, and just as the tears threatened to spill for the woman's usually hardy exterior, she choked out a response. "Ar--are you sure?" As if couldn't believe it and part of her didn't want to believe it.

The blonde didn't know why but she was scared. Scared of what, she wasn't sure. Change? Acceptance? Everything?

"Yes I'm sure." CJ chuckled at her friends hesitance. The drummer was beaming, more than she had in a long time, though that beaming was cut short and the grin on her face fell off when she saw Niko's attention back on her phone, scrolling through it again as if she was trying to debunk it somehow. "It's legit, stop trying to check Nik." She warned, taking her phone back and shoving it in her aprons pocket.

CJ wasted no time in leaning back over the table and grabbing a hold of her best friends trembling hands in her own. She gave them a light squeeze in reassurance as she began to speak. "This could finally be the break we've waited so long for, we could finally make it -- you, me and Viola." She nodded to their friend who sat in the corner, beaming like a Cheshire Cat and one of Larry's arms draped across her shoulder, himself expressing the biggest grin on his face.

Everyone else was smiling, Niko noted, so why wasn't I?

Why couldn't she smile like they were? Why couldn't she believe what they were telling her? Why was she so stuck? She wasn't sure if she had an answer to those questions, but it seemed like CJ knew that.

"Niko, look at me." CJ demanded, seeing the shocked expression on her friends face, feeling her own tears start to well. "This is all we've ever wanted." She whispered into the crowded bar, but Niko heard her nonetheless. "We've worked so hard for this, we deserve to be happy, don't we?"

But before Niko could formulate any kind of response, a shout from across the bar brought them from their heartwarming moment. "Cleo, get back to work!"

The anger-filled shout snapped the group's head to the bar where CJ's manager stood, glaring at the bartender. CJ's eyes rolled at the man's untimely interruption, her hands reluctantly letting go of the blonde's shaking pair as she fell back into her seat with her own shout. "Shut up Tony!" She cursed loudly, before turning back to the group. "Duty calls, but I'll get us a round of shots to celebrate!" The brunette smirked happily as she stood up.

Before she left, however, CJ stopped in front of her best friend, gathering her attention with a whisper; "Smile Niko, our dreams are finally coming true." And with that she left the blonde to process everything that had just happened.

The news. The email. The chance of a lifetime thrust their way.

Their collective dream finally becoming a reality.

They were the undisputed facts, the facts that seem to ignite a small spark inside Niko. One that she had been convinced she had lost a long time ago; hope. And for the first time in forever, Niko felt a genuine smile form on her lips. Maybe this was our chance.

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