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sophie-looks-at-stuff · 6 months ago

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The Dragon and the Dragon-less

Pairing: Aemond x Strong niece reader

Summary: The night Aemond had lost his eye, his sweet niece was the only one to provide him any sense of comfort. Many years later, when she returns to Kings Landing with her family, what should become of the two? ;)

Warnings: bad ship terminology (idk boats y'all sorry), Rhaenyra being kind of a bad mom (love her tho), Targcest/incest, softer Aemond, smut in the dragon pits, this one is kind of long haha

AN: Hey y'all! Since my first fic seemed to be received so well (thanks so much to everyone for that:) I decided to write another one! I'm staying on the Aemond train since I've never left it since day one haha. Let me know tho if there are any requests!

PS: I haven't gone through and totally edited this so don't mind the spelling or grammar issues if there are any!!

It had been awful, you remembered hearing the screaming and shouting from your chambers. The screeching having woken you up from a rather pleasant dream about eating cake–

In nothing but your night clothes, and a quilt draped around your shoulders, you padded down the chilly hallways of Dragonstone.

“ – it was my sons who were attacked!” You hear your mother yell. Concerned you took a few more steps forward, finally able to make out the scene before you. Your mother and your brothers to one side, while Alicent and her boys on the other, the fire raging in the hearth between them.

Your wide lilac eyes meet those of your stepfather, Prince Daemon, he reaches a hand out towards you as if to say “Come here”. Your feet did not move, rooted to the spot, eyes glancing around the room once more. You see something you hadn’t noticed before, Aemond, in the corner of the room, surrounded by maesters. A hand over his eye, thick, sticky fluid oozing from between his small fingers. Gasping, your own hands fly to cover your lips, perhaps to muffle the noise, or maybe to tame the scream building in your throat. Aemond’s healthy eye meets yours, pain, sadness but most of all fury over taking his features.

Just then your mother turns to meet you, her gaze worried and frantic, “My sweet girl! You should return to your chambers this is no sight for you dearest,” her hand, also bloody you notice, rests above her heart.

“Mother, w-what has happened? Aemond, h-he, is he alright–” You begin to question, Daemon takes a step towards you and you take one forward into the room. Your concerned gaze flits over to Aemond once more. Despite the fire in the hearth, the chill of the room has set into your bones, causing you to pull the quilt tighter around your shoulders.

“Come now byka zaldrīzes (little dragon) let us return you to your quarters. Aemond will be fine,” Your father attempts to comfort you. Maybe you are too tired to argue, or too shocked, your mind still attempting to comprehend what has happened. But you let your father guide you back to your chambers, the quilt trailing behind you like a cloak.

With a lullaby and a pat on the head, Daemon bids you good night once more. Closing the door softly behind him, his heavy footsteps receding off into the distance, presumably back to your mother and brothers. It feels like hours as you stare at the ceiling, listening, straining your ears for even just a morsel of information. But the halls beyond your door remain as silent as the grave. The chill in your bones is stubborn, making you shiver. Sitting up and swinging your feet over the side of the bed, you wrap the quilt around your shoulders once again. As silently as possible, you open the door, the hall is empty save for the torches lining the walls. You’re bathed in the fiery orange glow as you step fully into the hall.

You’re not quite sure where your feet carry you until you turn the corner and are met with Ser Criston Cole. His tall stature taking up the door frame of the young prince's room, his gold cloak behind him like an inverse shadow. It’s not until you come to stand in front of him that he addresses you.

“Princess, you should not be here. You should return to your chambers,” He looks down his nose at you. Your knuckles turn white from the tight grip you have on the quilt.

“Please, Ser, I must see the Prince. What has happened to him? I must know if he is alright–”

“Your brothers have maimed him. Who’s to say you aren’t here to do the same? Perhaps your whore of a –” The door behind him creaks a bit, one of the maesters appears in its place. Bloodied rags and a needle are held in his hands. He sighs “The prince says she may pass Ser Cole,”

With one last look of annoyance and a warning mumbled under his breath, the knight lets you pass. The room is dark, lit only by a few candles on the bedside table. Aemond’s hunched form lays on the bed, the blankets up to his chin. As you make your way closer you can see the true horror of what has happened this evening. Where his eye once was, now lays only marred flesh, red and angry, the stitches pull at the swollen skin. You gasp, shocked, a sick feeling settling into the pit of your stomach.

“Ugly isn’t it?” Aemond asks you, bitterness lacing his voice. As he speaks you make your way to his side, sitting lightly on the bed, next to his hip. Your small hand searching for his under the covers, to comfort him, or maybe to warm your own.

“H-how did this happen? Who could possibly have–”

“Your brothers. Lucerys stole my eye. But an eye for a dragon is a fair price to pay is it not niece?” A proud, sad smile graces his features. While your brothers had dragons since they were but babes, you were not as lucky. Syrax had not laid a full nest, and your mother had decided it was best to give your brothers the two eggs. All the while you have remained dragonless.

“Vhagar is now mine, and on the morrow, we shall leave this wretched place. And I will fly on dragon back to the Red Keep.” His singular lilac eye meets yours. “I promise you, sweet niece, one day I shall take you for a ride on dragon back. Show you the freedom that comes with it,” His previously bloodied fingers intertwined with yours.

“I would like that very much uncle,” Looking down at your joined hands, a small smile of your own matching his.

— — — — — — —

The waters of the sea lap against the side of the ship, the slap against the wood echoing around you. Overpowered only by the screeching of your family's dragons above you. Alone, you ride on this ship, well alone save for the ship hands and captain assigned by your father. Still, at the age of nine and ten, you remain dragonless, made to travel to the Red Keep by boat.

Your brothers claim to Driftmark had come into question, prompting the visit back to your old home. You hadn’t been back here since–

Your mother and father had determined it best to keep the family at Dragonstone after Aemond lost his eye. Although you had always suspected part of the reasoning for that was your mothers fear of retribution from Alicent for what your brother had done. Perhaps it was a long time coming though, your brothers as well as Aegon had picked on Aemond ruthlessly for years prior to that night. You had been spared only by the simple facts that you were a little girl, and just weren’t in there presence as much. Despite your pleas to join in the yard for training you had been denied, and turned towards the library instead to study “things more befit for your station” as your mother had put it.

“We shall dock shortly Princess,” the ship captain’s voice drifted to you from behind the wheel. You stood on the platform with him, looking beyond the masthead, you see Syrax and Caraxes land in the dragon pits. You sigh, it looks like you’ll arrive alone at the Red Keep, not expecting your mother to wait for you. Her and Daemon needed to prepare for the events of tomorrow.

Arriving at the Keep felt haunting, the lack of a welcome only contributing to that fact. Once docked, you were met by a singular carriage and it’s driver. The captain had assured you that your belongings were to be delivered to your chambers shortly. For all your fathers faults he did have good trust and faith in those he employed. The ship’s captain had been with your families since you were a girl. He and yourself not unfamiliar with these lonesome journeys.

The gates of the Red Keep came into view as you rolled over the bumpy roads of Kings Landing. Gold Cloaks lined the gate’s walls, closing the massive gate doors behind you, shutting you in, locking you within the castle grounds. The carriage comes to a jumpy halt, the driver offering you his hand as you disembark your ride. Your fingers slip into his as your boots squelch in the mud below you, the clanging of swords and metal meet your ears.

“Nephews, have you come to train?” A voice says, one you could not recognize. From across the yard you see your brothers, you wave to them, hoping to catch their eye. Luke turns his head towards you, a small smile playing at his lips. Noticing this, the source of the voice follows his gaze, a singular lilac eye meeting yours.

“Niece, how you have grown–” Aemond’s lone eye takes in your figure. My how you’ve grown indeed. Last time he had seen you you barely came up to his chin, your silver locks a messs contained in small braids. The flush that never seemed to leave your cheeks remained however. You had grown taller, still standing shorter than himself, which he finds excites him a bit. More than it should perhaps. You had grown into yourself in a way that was very pleasing to his eye, your face fuller and lovely. Your curves soft and plush, inviting him to touch and caress them.

“Uncle,” you offer him a small curtsey. You can hear Jace scoff, as if annoyed by the action. Wanting yo say more, but not knowing what, you continue to look at one another. Your own eyes take in your uncle, he had grown taller, much taller. His muscles lean and corded beneath his tunic. His silver hair almost as long as yours, is pulled back slightly in a braid. Some hanging free, escaping their confines during his sparring. His eye was now covered in an eyepatch, made of black leather, the tops and bottoms of the scar still visible even with it on.

The arrival of another carriage turns your gaze to the left, where you yourself had arrived only moments ago. Vaemond Valaryon steps out of the carriage and into the yard, sparing a glance at the Prince and your brothers. A look of disgust crosses his face as he lays his eyes on Luke.

— — — — — — —

The meeting to question Lucerys’ claim to Driftmark is long and dull, at least in the beginning. Mustering his limited remaining strength your grandsire had sat the thrown. Disputing Otto and Alicent in their claims. He looks horrible you think. His skin looks to be gray and sloughing off of his bones. The Stranger would be coming for him soon. It is not until Vaemond brings into question your brother’s parentage once again, that the apprehensive peace shatters.

“And she is a–”

“Say it,” your father’s hand that rests on the hilt of Dark Sister tightens, knuckles whitening.

“ – a WHORE!” In one swift blow, Daemon sends Vaemond’s head rolling across the floor of the throne room. Blood trailed behind the appendage like a snail’s trail. The room is filled with gasps and short screams. Your own eyes widened looking at the head on the stone floor before you. By no means are you unfamiliar with your father's violent nature, and nor should the rest of the court.

“Let him keep his tongue,” Daemon wipes the blood off of his blade, stepping back, sheathing the sword once more.

As if some kind of magic pulls you, you lift your eyes from Vaemonds severed head and meet those of your uncle. A smirk tugging at the corners of his lips, he looks to be well entertained by the violent display. Caught in your staring, Aemond’s gaze rises to meet your own, his smirk widening into a more sadistic smile.

“Now, for the final order of business. A more pleasant way to end this affair,” the king says, his mellow voice carrying across the stone-lined room. “I am blessed by the Gods to have such a large family, but it appears that the Gods hope to bless us some more,” It was becoming increasingly more clear that Alicent’s love for The Seven has bled not just into the castle but its people as well. You think maybe it gives the king something comforting in his final days.

“My son, Aemond, a fine warrior and scholar,” Aemond stands rigid and straight, uncomfortable with the new attention from his father. “And my granddaughter, if your mother had not already claimed the title of Realms Delight then it would be most certainly passed to you.” Your cheeks flush a bright pink, warmth rising to the tips of your ears.

“This family has been divided for quite some time, I tend to rectify that. Aemond, my son, and my granddaughter the princess, shall be married,” The reactions around the room are mixed, some people applaud, some cover their shock with their hands. Wide, prying eyes jump between you and Aemond. You dare a look in his direction, he is still staring, the smile gone from his face now. Confusion, shock, anger? You cannot tell but it is not sweet, and it is not kind.

A wave of confidence washes over you as you step forward, “What is the meaning of this? Why have I not had any indication of this until now?!” You feel your mother’s hand grasp your elbow, urging you to stand beside her, silently. “It is the wish of your grandsire, byka zaldrīzes (little dragon). He is dying, do not fight him,” Your head whips aside, meeting her eyes, eyes filled with sadness. Did she know of this? Did she approve of this? Your father would not meet your eyes, nor your brothers, Jace toeing at an invisible stone on the floor. Did they all know, except for you?

You tear your elbow from your mother’s grasp, she opens her mouth to speak once more, but your back is already turned. Your feet lead you towards the grand door. You had to leave, you needed to be anywhere else but here. Your chest tightens, your breathing ragged. Not with sadness or grief, no, but with anger and fury. You feel as though you could breathe fire as the dragons do. An angered scream tears past your lips, reverberating off of the stone walls of the Red Keep.

— — — — — — —

You had decided it best to skip the family feast. And a good thing too, unbeknownst to you it had gone horribly. Lucerys mocking Aemond over the roasted pig, Aemond's “final tribute” to his Strong nephews. No, instead you had taken your dinner in the library, back amongst your beloved books. The sun had set an hour or two ago now, the torches along the halls lit. You didn’t know how late it was, you had been much too absorbed in your novel Lady Coryanne Wylde, A Cautionary Tale for Young Girls.

The wax on the candles had burned low, and your wine had turned cold. It was time to retire. Taking the book with you, you began to make your way toward your chambers, your old chambers. The last time you had slept there you had been but a girl. As you turn the corner you are met with a hard wall of warm, corded muscle. Your book tumbling to the ground. A pair of strong hands plant themselves on your shoulders, to steady you.

“Careful niece, someone might think you are up to no good, wandering the corridors, at night–alone” The smile from earlier returns to his lips, and just then, he notices the book on the floor. His smile becoming impossibly wider, you don’t think you’ve ever really seen Aemond smile, not like this anyway. It’s nice, you think to yourself.

“What’s this dear niece,” he bends down to pick up the novel, his slim fingers sifting through the pages, his eyebrows lifting. “Well, well, who would have thought–”

“Give that back!” You reach to snatch it from him, like a child, but he just holds it higher over his head. “Tell you what, I made a promise to you. Do you remember?” Of course, you remembered, you still thought about it sometimes, but all hope of fulfilling it had left you.

“Yes–” it came out more hoarse than you had intended. Your hand frozen, outstretched, Aemond still held the book over his head.

“Come with me to meet Vhagar, for a ride,” he leaned closer to you, his lips brushing against your ear as he spoke. “Come taste the freedom of the skies with me niece.” He had tucked the book behind his back. Aemond wasn’t a man who typically waited for an answer, nor was he one who liked when people disagreed with him. He’d throw you over his shoulder if he must. Even though his hatred for your family ran deep, he could never seem to hate you. You had endeared yourself to him time and time again as children, but the night he lost his eye. The night you visited him, the only one not angry, the only one not repulsed by his face. He knew then that he could never hate you, no matter how hard he’d tried.

Words had suddenly failed you, your tongue dry. You simply nodded instead. In response, Aemond straightened to his full, imposing height, and turning without a word, he began his stride down the hall, towards the dragon pits. You followed him, but neither of you spoke, the halls of the Red Keep filled with an odd sort of comfortable silence. His hair had grown longer, much longer, and he walked with a sense of confidence that hadn’t been there before.

The night air was chill, a slight breeze blew through your hair, tousling the strands. You were glad you had worn a gown with longer sleeves, it must be chilly up in the clouds. Aemond was sporting his riding clothes, the leather over his tunic reaching his wrists. He looked good, really good, you thought to yourself. The flush from earlier returning to your cheeks, as well as the warmth in the tips of your ears.

Aemond comes to a stop before the pits, waiting for you, the book still behind his back, taunting you. You suppose that was his insurance policy in case you had said no to joining him. You can only imagine your father's reaction to seeing you read such debauchery. You were his sweet little girl after all…

“Come now niece, no harm shall come to you while I am near,” He held his hand out to you, and you slipped your fingers between his. His hands are much smoother than the ship captains from earlier, you thought. His hand was warm, the blood of the dragon coursing through his veins. The sound of beating wings from up above drew you out of your daze. A dark shadow crossed over the pair of you, coming to land only several passes in front of you. Vhagar stood proud and strong, if not slightly tired. Her form was weathered by time and battle. It’s a blessing from the Gods that she can still take to the skies as she does.

Aemond drew you nearer to her, your hand still held tightly in his, like all those years ago. “Give her a pat, she won’t bite, not unless I tell her to,” He chuckled a bit at his own joke, your eyes widening slightly, making him laugh all the more. “No need to be frightened, she’s quite gentle actually,” He guided your hand up to the beast's snout, his fingers had moved to circle your wrists, making the action easier. Your hand lay splayed out before you against Vhagar’s scales, her skin impossibly hot. The hand on your wrists moves to cover your own on the dragon. From behind you, Aemonds other hand rests on your waist lightly, like a whisper on the wind. Mayhaps this marriage won’t be too bad after all? Your anger from earlier was not directed at him you realize, but rather at the other members of your family. You were never pleased when things were kept from you when you were lied to. You like his hand there, you like it a lot, it provides you a sense of comfort and security as you stand before this large beast. You wonder how his calloused hands would feel elsewhere…

Aemond retracts his hand, yours following closely behind, you can still feel the heat of Vhagar’s scales on the skin of your palms. You begin to be tugged backward in the direction of Vhagar’s saddle. Aemond motions for you to begin climbing the ropes that lead to the mount, he follows behind you; prepared to catch you should the need arise. The saddle is less like a saddle and more like a small chariot on top of the dragon. It comfortably seats the two of you, and could even squeeze in a third.

Aemond positions you in front of him, his legs caging yours, his arms reaching around the front of you to grasp onto the reigns. “Are you ready?” The question is whispered to you, his lips brushing your ear once more as he speaks. You rather like this position, the warmth radiating off of his body will surely keep you warm above the clouds.

“Yes, yes I think I am,” Your own hands come up to rest atop his, surely just to steady yourself, and not at all because you were becoming increasingly more desperate to touch or be touched by the man behind you.

“Sōvēs Vhagar!” Aemond pulls back and yells into the night air, sparring your delicate eardrums. The beast below you growls and jolts into action. She takes a few long strides before beginning to beat her wings, as she takes off into the crisp night air.

Eyes glued shut you think you yell out a little yelp of initial fear and surprise. Aemond’s legs press tighter down on your own as if to reassure you that you are safe with him and his dragon. As Vhagar evens out her flying, coasting just above the clouds, you dare to open your eyes. Behind you, Aemond cannot stop the smile from spreading across his lips, he cannot see your face but he hopes it is a happy one. He’ll take you out flying every day that you are married if it will make you happy. He would burn the world down if it meant he could keep you safe and happy. To make you his.

Truthfully he wasn’t all that surprised by his father’s announcement of your betrothal. As a boy, even before the incident, he had asked his mother and grandsire, Otto, what lords would court you, and if any would be good enough for a princess. It wasn’t until after he lost his eye that he first breached the subject of marriage to his mother. He’d told her he deserved it, that after all the pain he had gone through, it was only fair for him to spend his life beside someone whom he cared so deeply for. At the time his mother had just given him a kiss on the forehead saying “Perhaps one day, we shall see,” A sad smile had crossed her face then.

He’d given up on the hope of marrying for love after that. The ladies of court found him elusive and repulsive, opting to flirt with his brother, despite his marriage to Helaena. A few moons ago, Aegon had made a jest at Aemond’s expense, something about being tied to a Strong for all eternity. He had ignored it, deeming it nothing more than one of his brother's drunken comments. However, after the events of today, it seems he was not jesting after all.

Aemond is broken out of his thoughts by a lovely, bubbly sound. You’re laughing, your arms spread wide, fingers splayed out letting the wind rush through them. He immediately goes to grasp your waist, his legs still caged around yours, steading you, anchoring you to him and the saddle.

“What the sweet Hells are you doing?! Put your hands back on the reigns!” He exclaims. You giggle some more, the wind drying your teeth as you smile.

“I cannot uncle! You were right, this is marvelous! I feel as though I could rule the world from up here!” He had never seen anyone as dazzling as you were in this moment. Vhagar gave a slight jolt as she began to descend back downwards, causing you to jump forward a bit, hands grasping the reigns once more.

“I told you – “ He murmurs against your hair, placing a small kiss on your head. After another moment Aemond begins to guide Vhagar back towards the dragon pits. There’s a strain in his trousers he can ignore no longer. Years of pent-up desire and want boiling over. Ever the gentleman, he assists you in descending the beast. This time he goes first, his hand in yours as he helps you with the final jump down.

“That was incredible, uncle that was truly –” Aemond uses his grip on your hand to tug you forward, clutching you to his chest, his lips meeting yours. You gasp into his mouth, surprised by the boldness of his actions. Before you are given the opportunity to reciprocate, he pulls away, a slight frown on his face.

“My apologies, I should not have–”

“Yes, you should have actually. Why did you stop, I was quite enjoying myself,” You pull on the collar of his tunic, tugging his chapped lips back down to yours. Aemond uses his taller stature to guide you back up against a pillar within the pits. The two of you made only out of sight by half of a pillar, and Vhagar’s sleeping form.

“And what if I were to take you, right here? Right now? Like a scene from your debaucherous novel,” He exclaims, his lips moving, forming a trail from your jaw down to your collarbone. Surely leaving marks, and love bites as he goes. Oh if only his brother could see him now, he thinks that perhaps Aegon would congratulate him on finally “getting it wet”.

His grip on your waist tightens as he pulls you impossibly closer to him. He was everywhere, all of your senses were overwhelmed by him. The smell of the oils used to wash his hair filled your nostrils, the smokiness from Vhagar had made a home in the threads of his clothes. You’re nearly positive that you must smell similar, you’ll need to get your gown cleaned certainly.

Your hands began to fumble with the belt of his trousers, your fingers making clumsy work of the buckle. Aemond pulls away only for a moment to assist you, then he begins to work on the strings of your corset. His movements were desperate and quick, neither of you having the patience to wait much longer. All the while his lips never left your skin. You feel him smile against your skin as Vhagar makes a slight noise of annoyance at your escapades. Somehow between your messy kisses, your skirts had been rucked up to your hips, Aemond’s deft fingers making contact with your small clothes.

“You’re rather wet dear niece. Do I rile you up so huh? I wonder how wet you’ll be with my cock inside your sweet cunt,” He says that last bit almost more so to himself rather than you. In response, a small whimper escapes your lips. Aemond looks up to meet your eyes. A certain twinkle reflects at you from his.

“Another night I shall spend hours ravishing you, but I need to be inside you, now.” He gives his cock a few strokes, preparing himself. Your eyes widen at the sight, his shaft long and thick, his head red and leaking arousal. It was, invigorating, knowing that you could illicit such a response from him. With a delicate kiss to your lips and one final look of permission, Aemond sheathes himself inside you. Your warm walls squeeze him perfectly, welcoming him in. Gods he could stay right here like this forever.

“ – move. Aemond Gods move please,” You begged him, your walls had adjusted to him. Feeling wonderful and full. He began slow, his thrusts taking on a rhythmic flow. Aemond tucks his face into the crook of your neck, smelling your hair, his grunts and groans in your ear. You drag your nails down his clothed back, perhaps next time you’ll be able to fully leave your marks on his skin. Thank the Gods Vhagar had decided to remain put, it would ruin your honor should anyone find you like this; even though your virtue was promised to him already.

“Fuck– I don’t know if I’ll be able to last much longer ñuha jorrāeliarzy (my beloved). You are just too perfect–” He cuts himself off with a grunt.

“Finish then, let go Aemond, let got for me please, I–” You beg him, you need it just as much as he does.

“Not before you ñuha jorrāeliarzy (my beloved).” Aemond moves down to circle your clit, sending a shockwave of pleasure up your spine. The pace of his thrusts picked up, your hands remained looped around his neck, anchoring yourself to him.

“Aemond, oh Aemond, Gods I’m gonna–” The words that left your mouth made hardly any sense. The words and phrases twist and turn into a bizarre hymn to your betrothed.

“Cum, cum for me Jorrāelagon (love), give yourself over to me–” Aemond begged you. His lips biting and nipping at the flesh of your neck. On his command, a wave of pleasure washes over you, like the seas crashing into the shores of Driftmark. You remember drifting off to sleep as a girl to the lullaby of the sea. Aemond’s own release follows closely after your own. Still nestled inside of you, he rests his forehead against yours, sighing contentedly.

“You know, when I was a boy, I had asked my mother to ask Rhaenyra for your hand. I had begged her actually,” He chuckles a bit at his anecdote.

“Did you?” You laugh along with him, less at the story and more so at the ridiculousness of your current situation. You feel him nod, his forehead brushing against yours as he does so.

“Well,” you say in response, “ I had always wanted a dragon of my own. I had begged my mother actually”, you imitate Aemond’s words, giggling a bit as you do, “but now I need not ask any longer. For I have my very own dragon right here.” You place a kiss on his nose as you say this.

“Well my love, no longer shall you be dragonless, not as long as I am around anyways,” Aemond reassures you. He supposed he had two dragons now as well, with Vhagar he would burn the world down, but you gave him a reason to do so. With fire and blood he would protect you, love you, for that is the way of the dragon, that is the way of Prince Aemond Targaryen, your beloved betrothed.

Tag List:

@ helaenaluvr @ anukulee

#aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen #aemond x reader #aemond x you #house of the dragon #prince aemond #aemond fanfiction #hotd fanfic #aemond one eye #aemond smut #aemond x reader smut #hotd #aemond #prince aemond targaryen #soft aemond #sweet aemond

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savanir · 6 months ago

Text

DP x DC ficlet

is it even a ficlet anymore, this thing has gotten incredibly out of hand...

So a while back I saw this

and I picked the Green Lantern one and then just kinda wrote a full fic so...

It had been a good party, official yes but despite that still festive enough and with just a bittersweet hint. as all good meaningful parties should be like, unless you’re looking to get absolutely shitfaced.

But hey Rowan deserved a proper sendoff for making it to this point and not dying in the process. Hal is going to miss the old pilot though.

"Hal, I got something for you, before I forget"

"Hm, what is it"

The old man puts a small intricate glass model of a f16 fighter in his hand.

"Back when I started I was given this for good luck and protection"

Rowan presses it down firmly and stands there all official like "may it grant you both as it did for me"

They both stand there for a second before laughing.

“Feel free to shelf the whole luck thing, what’s really important is skill and experience. Still, knowing you, you can definitely use the protection ”

Hal grins, "Thanks, I'll keep close"

"You better, the sentimental value is sky high" Rowan slaps his shoulder with another laugh.

Good lord what a dork.

The old retiring pilot wasn't paying attention, too caught up in everything else but Hal saw the faint and brief green hue coming from his hand.

In a panic he slammed his other hand over top. Completely missing the quietly whispered "protect"

Too busy cussing out his ring in his head, he swears that thing is trying to out him on purpose sometimes.

This time it wasn't the ring though, so it's a good thing it's an inanimate object and can't be upset at how wrong Hal is being right now.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah! Let's get back to the others"

The evening ends uneventfully.

---

It's really only until quite a bit later that things start to happen.

"Green lantern" its batman's business voice.

Both Hal and John look up.

"Jordan" ah shit.

"I'll catch you up later" and he leaves Hal behind, traitor.

"What's up spooky"

"You need to update your file, it is missing critical information, and on that note I wasn’t aware that the lantern suits grant you intangibility now"

"I... what..? It doesn't? What are you talking about spooks"

"Hrn" Batman pulls up a screen and shows him footage of the latest fight, in it you can clearly see something was supposed to hit Hal but went right through him "You're telling me you didn't know or notice this?"

Hal just looks kinda sick. That would have been a bad hit and he just straight up didn't even notice.

Batman just kind of silently looks at him and he must have come to some conclusion because the next thing Hal knows this comes out of his mouth.

"I've already ran your blood through the lab, it's not a sudden emergence of a meta gene so it's either from the lantern corps or you've otherwise externally been affected by something that's causing this"

Hal closes his eyes and internally counts to ten, it doesn't help.

Batman takes his silence to mean he can keep talking. The man is on an unusual roll. Hal would have been ecstatic if he didn't hate the topic quite so much.

"It would have been best if it had something to do with your ring however you seem to be completely unaware and I've also noted that the green of your ring and the green glow that comes with the density shifting are different"

He has examples with corresponding color codes, Hal is so tired.

“let's set a time frame…” Batman pulls up some documents and graph on the screen “seeing as you are unaware of this development I will set the starting point of this potential change as of now to right after the last time you have been known to be hit in a fight and before the first known instance of you being able to density shift, that leaves us with a full month.”

Hal really, really does not want to be here anymore.

“In this month you have not gone off planet so whatever caused this is on Earth” Batman pauses for a moment, “has anything significant happened during that time that springs to mind now?”

“no, nothing significant has happened during that time, frankly it’s been a very pleasant uneventful four weeks in which I finally managed to catch a break and it figures something crazy has apparently happened anyway”

Hal rubs his face with both hands, “but right now I couldn’t tell you what, anyway, does this have to be a bad thing? I for one am very glad that hit didn’t actually land”

“So far only Superman has had the privilege of having sudden emergence of new powers work out for him” Batman huffs, “it would be best to monitor this carefully, if anything springs to mind do not hesitate to inform me, the sooner this is figured out the better”

“awww you do care” Hal is using humor cope, sadly it’s Batman, so it’s not very effective.

“Jordan” now Batman sounds tired, he’s not the one with random surprise density shifting, Hal understand that Spooky’s crippling chronic paranoia must be exhausting but right now he’s the one freaking out considering this is apparently not a meta gene related development, it would have been so much easier if it was, oh and about that, just how and when did Batman get his blood exactly? he would like to know now.

---

sadly he does not get to know now. or anytime soon (or ever). it’s chaos right after, because of course it is.

knocked out of the sky and lying amongst the rubble, if their enemy spots him he’s in bigger shit than he already is, but he can’t fucking move and the next thing he knows he’s invisible.

and there is just nothing enjoyable about it.

Barry doesn’t know that though, “that was something else, just one moment and schwup and you were just gone, some sort of green lantern light bending? he looked right through you, thank god he did too”

shit shit, “no that was..." it was like he just ceased to exist, movies and books and whatever other media always depicts it as such a cool thing but frankly it was terrifying. And he would prefer things that are terrifying not to happen to him, for obvious reasons, “honestly actually it’s complicated, stealth tech” Grade A bullshit.

“well it’s awesome”

“it was useful just now but not really my style you know”

Barry slings his arm over Hal’s shoulder and gives him a one armed hug, “everything worked out” Hal can feel some tension flow out of his friend, “well! better get busy cleaning this mess up” and with a blink he’s gone.

Hal does not want to talk about this with Batman, but knowing him, he probably already knows anyway, it would be less of a headache to go to him than have him go to Hal.

Hal wants to enjoy whatever this is, he really does, but he doesn’t know what caused this, he doesn’t know what triggers the new abilities or whatever they are, he doesn’t know what effects this shit is going to have in the future, he just doesn’t know anything, normally he doesn’t mind not knowing some things, he’s fine leaving the knowing to the people better suited for the more complicated knowing, but he would very much like to know more about this please.

---

Then they face off against an enemy and in the process Hal drains his ring completely and the next hit is going to be bad, so what will happen? Will he somehow go intangible again? Turn invisible and use the confusion to evade and attack?

Apparently this time he just gets a glowing green dome shield. Something very normal for him to have and use, if only it came out of his ring that is.

Nobody notices that something is wrong, nobody besides Batman that is.

"That's three new abilities that only appear during life threatening situations"

Hal has actually seriously gone over that month by now, but nothing, no answers. He's physically fine, mentally a little damaged but nothing new there, they all are. Every test he begrudgingly went through answered nothing. He was fine. Whatever was going on actually had nothing to do with him.

And at the same time it had everything to do with him because this is only happening to him.

As usual (by now) he takes out his little glass fighter jet and runs his thumb over the wings. It is soothing strangely enough. Like a stim toy.

"The last thing to try is a thorough examination by someone from the justice league dark"

Hal groans, magic, ok then, "Alright let's get this over with. Who knows maybe I'm just haunted"

It turns out he’s not haunted, this is a good thing... supposedly, Well let’s just say that Hal would have not minded being haunted or something if that meant it could be fixed, or just explained.

It doesn’t really need to be fixed, whatever this is has been very helpful after all, but he would do basically anything for an explanation right about now.

“you are not haunted or otherwise magically compromised, but I do sense faint traces of energy from the infinite realms” Zatanna is a godsent, finally something to work with.

“from the who whats?” Hal is worried, the occult field is definitely not his area of expertise. He's a space cop, not a space demonhunter… oh that would be pretty cool though, with like a hood and twin cyber crossbows, maybe he should incorporate that somehow.

“the infinite realms… have you recently been in touch with any death related realities?”

Well there was that time when he got booted to the death universe and he died and then he was a black lantern but he got better, that’s all very much very behind him.

She better not be about to tell him that stuff still has lingering consequences.

oh god dammit that’s exactly what is going on isn’t it?

"How recently?"

"In the past week?"

"Oh, no" Hal would have known if that was the case, death stuff tends to be hard to ignore.

Zatanna frowns, that's probably not a good sign.

"But you said I'm not compromised right?" Right now what Hal wants to know the most is if this is changing him. Cause it tends to be bad for him when that's the case.

"No this is just lingering traces of something or someone else using their powers near you"

???!!??!?

"What are the infinite realms?" oh hey there Batman, was wondering when you would show up again.

"It's the afterlife, or... more like a collection of all afterlives. The infinite realms is very literal in their naming. It is home to powerful dead entities. As a general rule magic users are discouraged from interacting with it.

"Hrn"

"What did you say happened to you so far Hal?"

"Uhm, density shifting, invisibility and then a green dome-like shield, a lot like my own energy constructs"

"that sounds like pretty standard stuff for a realms being"

"Soooo what, did one leave the afterlife and decide to follow me around or something?"

"I cannot conclusively say, I can only say that you've been close to one using its abilities"

Batman folds his arms over his chest, "We shouldn’t form theories on these findings alone, Zatanna are these realm beings dangerous?"

"Hard to say, they come in all manner of forms, some small and harmless and others on the level of world destroying gods."

Great great great, awesome, well it’s probably safe to say that whatever decided to stick around Hal isn’t small and harmless, cause small and harmless doesn’t sound strong enough to casually turn him intangible or invisible… he could be wrong though.

“I do advise caution, beings from the infinite realms also have the ability to possess someone, they call it overshadowing”

Batman’s lips thin and Hal tenses up, mind control of any kind is always awful.

“I’ll place a ward on you, as a precaution” energy starts to gather in her hands.

Batman moves for the door, “we might need to look into a way to force this being to reveal itself, it would be best if we could convince it to return to their realm”

“Well I mean-” Hal starts, “like I get that, but they have been a great help so far”

“they are a security risk”

“I’m just saying, I am grateful that they kept me from being confined to the medical wing for who even knows how long, who knows they might just be shy, wouldn’t it be better to convince them to become our ally, like Deadman. instead of telling them to leave. just cause we don’t understand how they work yet doesn’t mean they are bad and should be booted out of our reality”

Batman narrows his eyes at Hal and turns to Zatanna who is finished with placing the ward on Hal, “Zatanna please send me all you have on the infinite realms, I will do my own research” and with that he sweeps out of the room, very dramatic.

“Ass” Hal whispers under his breath.

“He’s worried”

“well he’s being a dick about it, as usual” Hal’s fingers find his little plane once again “... hey do you think they could communicate through one of those oejah boards?”

Zatanna snorts, “it’s Ouija- and please don’t”

---

No information from the JLD has been useful so far in coaxing the realms being to reveal themselves and for the most part things just go on as usual.

“Whoever they are, they followed me when I went off planet and it might just be my imagination but I had a feeling that their stuff was a lot more… potent? out there? I don’t know it was kinda strange, it just felt stronger”

“but they didn’t reveal themselves to you?”

“nope, they must know that I know now too, so they have decided to just… go on as they always have I guess”

“hrn” Batman is leafing through files, because of this whole mess he’s uncovered hidden government organizations targeting occult entities as well as inhumane laws that stand directly opposed to the meta protection acts.

Why is he working with paper regarding this matter? Well it turns out there is a infinite realms being that can possess electronica and it was only because of the protections the JLD had put in place on the Watchtower that the entity didn’t overtake it in its entirety.

Watching Constantine freak out had been mildly entertaining but Zatanna had once again reminded Batman to be very careful, Batman had begrudgingly admitted he had made a slight misstep while digging for answers… in his head, not out loud, god forbid.

“this whole thing is turning out a lot bigger than we thought huh, good thing we are dealing with it now” Hal stretches his arms above his head, “anyway I am going to go grab something to eat”

“the rapport-” Batman doesn’t bother looking at him.

“yeah yeah” Hal doesn’t either while walking out of the room, dismissively flicking his hand, “don’t worry about it spooky”

Hal takes his little plane out on the way to the cafeteria and fiddles with it in his hand, once there he puts it on the table next to Barry before getting himself something to eat.

They catch up, Hal complains (bitches) about Batman, others come and go, Zatanna quickly checks up on the ward she placed which makes Barry raise an eyebrow at Hal, “Ghost protection”

“... no such thing”

Zatanna glares.

Hal can see them both gearing up to start the magic is just science we haven’t fully scienced out yet argument again, “alright! I’m full” he stands up, “if you need me I’ll be writing that rapport, later” and gets the hell out of there.

It’s when he has just reached his preferred spot to work on the boring paperwork stuff when the alarms go off throughout what he can only imagine must probably be the entire Watchtower.

It seems like something triggered all of the JLD’s defenses in one go.

Impressive, but also very worrying.

The rapport is going to have to wait.

People are gathering in the meeting room and Batman is already taking the lead, “status”

“as of a couple minutes ago there was a build up of as of yet unknown energy which then burst in the cafeteria knocking out Flash” Martian Manhunter says, “Zatanna says we are most likely dealing with another being from the infinite realms”

Superman groans, this means he’s out.

It’s a good thing they now have defenses against overshadowing though. Being effectively trapped in a space station (because currently the thing is on lockdown) where literally anyone could suddenly actually be the enemy is the kind of situation a whole slew of horror movies like to be about.

“We will need to be extremely careful while finding and then dealing with this entity”

It has certainly been quite some time since the Watchtower got directly hit like this.

Hal pulls out his little plane.

or, he would, if he still had it.

thoroughly distracted now he suddenly realizes it’s no longer on his person.

Spooky is probably not going to like it if during the infinite realms attacker hunt he takes the opportunity to look around for his missing little fighter jet.

well what he doesn’t know won’t harm him.

His plan of looking for the plane while looking for the ghost is working out well enough.

In fact it is working out so good that he finds both at the same time.

At that point Hal had started wondering if maybe Barry had picked it up for him at the cafeteria before the attack happened and that the little thing was now in the medical wing with him.

That turned out to clearly not be the case once he found the tiny thing glowing green and floating in the middle of the hallway.

“alright ghosty, that’s really important to me and I would like it back undamaged”

the tiny plane turned to now point directly at him, hmm, yeah that's not creepy at all.

“... please don’t launch yourself at me” he foolishly says which of course means that’s exactly what it does next.

He uses his ring to construct a net with a pillow inside to catch the tiny jet, completely forgetting that it’s overshadowed and can thus easily just go intangible and right through his creations.

Instead it hits him square in the chest, rather painfully he might add and then just stops glowing and drops, making Hal scramble to not have it fall and shatter in a million tiny pieces on the ground.

immediately all the sensors stop detecting the presence of a realms being and the alarms die down.

Whatever was in the Watchtower has left the building.

or…

Hal looks down at the tiny plane in his hands, his talisman of protection and has a sinking feeling in his gut.

“Hey there little guy, might want to explain yourself?” he says to the tiny jet.

It vibrates in his hands.

“... yeah I figured, shit”

---

“I say just smash the bloody thing and be done with it, preferably that takes care of it once and for all” Constantine glares down at the tiny jet.

Hal is almost halfway over the table to shield the little thing, covering it from Constantine’s sight with his hand, “don’t you dare” he growls.

“it would be best for everyone involved, for all we known you could have gone full liminal what with how long you’ve been carrying the blasted thing around”

Zatanna is going over the little thing with her own magic, “it’s trapped”

“In that case just straight up trying to murder it would be the worst thing to do” Hal glares at Constantine some more. Who clearly doesn’t give a shit, figures, all stressed out about dealing with things from the infinite realms but whenever he feels he has the upper hand he’s more than happy to go full nuclear.

“it would be best if we had a way of figuring out their intentions” Batman looks down at the tiny jet impassively.

“Well, another reason to just carefully release this creature instead” Hal responds.

Zatanna’s magic fades away, “I would say that the fact it’s been protecting Hal for as long as he has it is a positive sign”

“hrn, but now it has gone and knocked Flash out, so what does that say” Batman huffs, “it’s too risky”

“Constantine and I will set up everything we can so it won’t be able to escape or try anything dangerous” Zatanna stops looking at Batman and turns back to the tiny plane, “if it turns out to be malicious we could simply banish it back to the realms, killing it would be rather stupid, we do not know what kind of connections it might have within the realms, we might accidentally anger something far worse with such a rash act”

Constantine groans but accepts Zatanna’s reasoning, Batman nods as well.

It’s only then that Hal moves out of the way.

Any plans of attack or banishment fly right out of the window once the two magic users are done and a young boy manifests from the tiny fighter jet.

Hal pushes Constantine aside to get to the boy’s side.

“Jordan, are you insane! Get back here!”

“Hey, kid, can you hear me? please open your eyes, slowly, take your time”

Batman has also moved forward much to Constantine’s frustration. Don't these two morons get that their protections won’t do shit if you just casually stroll into the circle?

Batman is mostly concerned in being able to step in should the boy prove to be a hostile entity anyway, but at the same time… well, that’s a child.

The boy kind of dazedly opens his eyes, looks at Hal and then seems to become aware of his own arms and hands, after opening and closing those a couple times he looks back at Hal and lets out a breath that can only be described as relieved and promptly passes out into him.

Well, Hal figures that settles it then. He doesn’t know shit about looking after a kid, and definitely not one who is probably quite dead, but this one is his, back off Batman.

they all startle rather violently when rings of blinding white light pass over the boy and suddenly the kid in Hal’s arms is a bit warmer and seems to have a sluggish pulse and also his clothes are different and his hair is now black and-

Hal is up and moving towards the medical wing before his mind catches back up with him. He can hear Batman behind him, it seems like Constantine and Zatanna aren’t moving after him as fast.

Well anyway his life is already so goddamn weird, this might as well happen.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #danny fenton #danny phantom #hal jordan #green lantern #phanfic #batman #zatanna #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc fanfic #so this is sure a thing I made #should I put this on ao3 as well? I might #3800 + words #savwrites

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allllium · 2 months ago

Note

Jason Todd x childhood friend fem

fluff and potential angst

Jason runs into childhood friend from befor he died and she recognizes him

Back in Time

[ Jason Todd x Childhood Best Friend!Reader ]

~ Fluff, Maybe a little hurt/comfort, WC: 1,089

~ I'm so sorry this took so long 😭 Every time I went to write this it's like all ideas flew out of my head, but I finally got it done and I hope it meets your expectations<3

"Jason?"

He freezes.

He wasn't expecting to hear your voice today.

He wasn't expecting to hear your voice ever again.

Once he came back, you were gone.

He would say he tried to look for you but that isn't true. He thought your leaving was the universe telling him to leave you alone.

But now you're here. You're here and you recognize him. He doesn't know how to respond. He knows you know he heard you, otherwise he wouldn't have stopped moving.

The first thing he hears in your voice is the sadness. Not anger like he would've expected. Not even a hint of confusion. Just something sad.

After a minute of him being unmoving, clearly lost in his thoughts, he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Jason." You say.

This time it's not a question.

After he hears you a second time, he brings himself to turn around and look at you.

"Hey."

"Hey." He can't tell if you're about to cry or smile.

"I'm sorry." He immediately apologizes. Maybe for leaving or maybe for not finding you. He's not quite sure.

"For what?" You ask and take a deep breath.

He sees the way tears form in your eyes and has the strange urge to cry himself.

"I don't know. I just feel like I need to."

"You don't. Dick told me what happened. That's not something you need to be sorry for." You say it so surely he doesn't know how to respond.

"I was gonna find you."

"That's not your job. I mean a phone call would've been nice." You shrug and let out a small, awkward chuckle.

"I didn't know what to do." He tells you quietly.

"I would assume." You look around the sidewalk you're on. You're standing in front of what looks like a busy shop, people walk in and out every couple seconds.

"Where did you go?" He asks you after a moment. Probably to determine whether or not he could've found you.

"I was here. I mean I stayed in Gotham just not where I was before."

"If I had known you were so close I would've gone to you but when they told you left I assumed-"

"Jason, you don't have to defend yourself." You cut him off quickly, "If I died and came back the last thing on my list would be finding someone who left."

He nods. "This might be easier if you were at least a little mad." He smiles softly at you, watching more tears shine in your eyes.

"I missed you too much to be mad right now."

He goes to say something back but someone walking by bumps into your shoulder.

"Maybe we should get coffee or something?" He suggests, not wanting to keep blocking the sidewalk traffic.

"Are you free?"

"Oh yeah, yeah." Dick can wait, he thinks to himself.

"Then yeah, coffee sounds great."

You both walk into the coffee shop and order whatever drinks sound good. Jason chooses a table against the wall and by a giant window.

You sit awkwardly in silence as you both try and think of what to say.

"How are you doing?" You ask, after multiple minutes of nothing.

"I'm okay, I think." He shrugs and takes a sip of his drink. You take notice of his fingers tapping nervously along the side of the cup.

"That's good." You nod and sigh.

"How are you?"

"I've been better." You answer honestly. Your fingers also tap nervously along your cup.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why this is so weird."

You laugh at his words, "I do. It's been a while."

"And I'm guessing we've both changed." He smiles.

"Changed? No shit Jason, look at you." You smile at him in a reassuring way. You can clearly see how dying has changed him.

"Yeah I guess I did get a little taller." He jokes and shakes his head.

"Maybe just an inch or two." You play along, laughing as you speak.

"I missed this. I missed you." He tells you with a sudden seriousness in his tone.

"Well good thing it isn't going away this time." You reach across the table and grab his hand.

It was never unusual for you and Jason to be touchy. That's just the kinda friendship you had. But this feels different.

Instead of being a friendly touch between best friends, it's more like a reassurance that's he's actually alive. A piece of you feels relief that you're not imagining this.

"I really hope so." He wishes with a frown.

"It won't. If you think I'm leaving your side anytime soon you're very very wrong."

"What's one more person to the gang that follows me everywhere?" He laughs again and squeezes your hand. It's the first time he's felt so free to last in a while.

"Where is that gang by the way? I would've expected one of them to be here by now."

"Oh I left while they weren't looking. I needed time to myself."

"You snuck out? Jason, they're probably panicking." You scold him softly.

"It's fine I'm meeting with Dick later."

You shake your head in disapproval but a smile on your face gives you away once again.

For some reason no matter how sad you are, a smile can't leave your lips.

You fall back into a silence but this time it's not awkward at all. It's a comfortable silence that reminds you of old times.

"I should probably get going. Dick will be pissed if I'm late."

"Yeah I don't doubt it." You recall the many times Dick has given long lectures about being late to anything he's involved in.

"I'll call you." He swears, standing up from his seat at the table.

"You better. I know where to find you." You stand up as well and finish off your drink.

"Yes you do." He agrees but doesn't leave.

You stand together in front of your table. Both of you are waiting for the other to move first.

Just as you're about to make the move to leave he steps forward and pulls you into a hug.

You immediately hug back and feel the tears reappear in your eyes.

"I really missed you." He whispers.

"I really missed you too." You whisper back.

You savor every moment of the embrace. Not wanting to leave out of fear that he would leave again.

But as you watch him walk away to meet with his brother, you're overcome with the happiness of knowing your best friend is here.

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withahappyrefrain · 11 days ago

Note

took a lil looksie at that smutty prompt list and now i can't stop thinking about jake and a combo of "i've never done something like this before" and "this is a one time thing" 😵‍💫 like you kind of half know him as a friend of a friend and you know the kind of reputation he has but one thing leads to another at a party or like out w friends and suddenly you're hooking up in the back of his stupid jeep swearing up and down that you NEVER do this and how it's just this once and he's just like "awh honey it's cute you think this isn't gonna happen again" bc once you have him once there's simply no coming back from that

It's the stupid backwards cap.

You're so accustomed to seeing him in uniform that when he shows up in jeans, a button up and a backwards snapback, you nearly forget all the stories you've heard.

"It's a trap," Natasha mutters, pulling you away. It was for the best. You heard stories about Bagman. So it was easy to focus on the rest of the party and not the Adonis who just walked in.

At first.

You're trying, honestly. But it's so hard to focus on what Mickey is saying when Jake is right within your line of sight. The can of beer looks small in his hand. And he's got that smile the one where the corners of his green eyes crease. There's a light dusting of stubble on his face, a stark difference from the clean cut shaven look he usually sports.

Shit, is he looking at you?

You turn away, suddenly very interested in the Star Wars show Mickey was rambling about. Your friend can't tell that your nods are artificial, but Bob and Natasha sure can.

"All I'm going to say is that it's Bagman," Bob remarks before walking away, no doubt going back to his favorite corner of the room to watch it all go down.

You know it's fucking Bagman. The dickhead that always gives Bob, Mickey, and Nat something to complain about during your D&D sessions. Hell, after hearing some of the stories, you wanted to punch the man yourself.

You still did want to do that. Just not with your fists. No, you wanted to punch Jake with your lips. On his.

Fuck.

Perhaps a conversation would do the trick. Confidence dripped all over him. He was a damn good pilot, a fact your friends couldn't deny. But surely, one conversation would remind you of all the shit he's pulled, wiping away any and all physical desires you had somehow developed for the guy in the last thirty minutes.

"Hey darlin. I was just about to come over and talk to ya." The sincerity in his voice stops you dead in your tracks.

No, he could not be serious. You even told him so.

And this fucker has the audacity to smile while shaking his head, "Course I do. I've been wanting to meet ya for a while now."

This was not the sleazy, unsavory man you had heard about. They were right about him being a former frat bro. But what they didn't know was that was your exact type.

A rosy pink dusts Jake's face as he explains, "I saw you with Mickey, Bob, and Nat on Instagram. Y'all had just gone to a festival?"

"Comic con," you clarify. He's out of his element when it comes to your hobbies, but the worst part is it seems like he's trying.

"I know who you are." Was it meant to be a statement or a threat? Hell, you didn't even know.

Jake shows zero indication your blunt sentence had any effect. Instead he just smiles as he leans in, his handsome face now inches away from yours.

"I know who you are too." It's just that stupid Texan charm, it means nothing.

"Yeah?" Like a moth to a flame, you lean forward, able to catch the sandalwood of his cologne. He's so tanned, you wonder if his skin is warm, if he's just a walking ray of sunshine.

The thought of touching him, simply brushing your fingers along his arm, flashes through your mind. It's startling, you're not supposed to like Jake Seresin. At least, that's what you've been told.

Turns out, Jake Seresin is charming. He listens and asks the right question. You doubt it's genuine, from what you've heard he's quite the flirt.

He's also quite the kisser. When you two moved to Bradley's porch, you can't say. What you do know is Jake has you pressed up against a wall, his mouth perfectly slotted over yours. And it feels good. His hands explored your body, as if committing to memorize every soft curve.

"I don't do this, just so you know," you blurt out, desperate to get it out before his mouth finds yours again.

Jake's mouth forms into a smirk, "So you're saying I'm special darlin?"

No. He can't be. This is just a one time thing.

You tell him that and he continues to kiss you. You repeat it as you lead Jake to his jeep, your hands greedily exploring his body. He's so muscular and you were expecting him to be clean shaven, only to find soft hair that graced his chest and trailed down to below the waistband of his jeans.

That cursed backwards cap is somewhere on the floor of his Jeep. You're too busy situating yourself into his lap, allowing you access to his neck. The only thing you remember clearly is how he gingerly took your glasses off and placed them in the console.

Your teeth sink into his skin, pulling a strangled groan from his thin pink lips. The sound is like a spell, luring your hips to grind against his.

"I don't- I've never done something like this before," you confess, stilling your body.

"Do you wanna stop?" His voice is unexpectedly soft, his touch gentle as he pushes some hair out of your face.

You should stop. You should get out of this stupid truck, go back to the party and pretend none of this ever happened.

That's the logical thing to do, given what you know about Jake Seresin. But right now, you don't see the cocky, asshole pilot. His green eyes have softened and there's an encouraging smile on his face.

"It's your call darlin," Jake reminds you, thumb drawing circles on your hip.

"This is just a one time thing, okay?" The declaration was more for yourself than him. One hookup wouldn't hurt anyone, as long as it stayed at one.

Jake chuckles, "You're so cute, thinking this will be a one time thing."

Before you can make a remark, his hands pull your hips down to his, allowing you to feel the denim cladded erection against your clothed core.

Fuck.

#my writing #jake seresin #hangman #top gun hangman #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin x you #jake seresin x y/n #jake seresin smut #jake seresin imagine #jake seresin oneshot #top gun oneshot #hangman smut #hangman x reader #hangman x you #hangman x y/n

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bbydoll18xx · 7 months ago

Text

I'll Be Your Temporary Fix (Pt 4)

Paige Bueckers x reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Part 4 based on this request:

Could you do a Paige x media team reader. Where Paige and reader are fake dating because Azzi is uncomfortable with the fans shipping her and Paige. Reader does it cus she owes Paige a favor (you can make something up).

Heyyy y'all I've lowkey been MIA (ya girl has been depressed lol) but here is part 4

Also Paige is so hot i wanna light myself on fire

Word Count: 1.8k

Themes: hella fluff

-----------------------------------------------------------

You had held up your end of the bargain, quite swimmingly. Paige had effectively turned you into a simpering fool, and she loved it.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t.

Long gone were the days of running from your feelings. Paige had you tumbling head over heels, and you wanted to confess to the whole world. It was as if she had tattooed her name on your heart.

With fake dating being no more, there was still an air of hesitation around what the two of you actually were. You were trying to avoid obsessing over the label, but it ate at you. There were so many unknowns, and you were never one to just come out with what you were actually feeling.

Since becoming Paige’s friend, you had always relied on her to take the reigns, while you took an emotional backseat. It was just the way the dynamic was between you two.

But now Paige had been scarily quiet on what she wanted from you.

The two of you had spent an absurd amount of time kissing since you had run back into her arms with ample apologies. Soft kisses in the morning, bathing in the glow of the sunshine of a new day. Rushed kisses in between classes in passings. Passionate, bruising kisses in the heat of the moment after Paige basks in the glory of winning yet another game.

You were drunk on Paige’s mouth, but the inebriation was not enough to distract from the incessant questions your mind whispered at each waking moment.

So before your anxieties could overtake you once more, you had decided that you would ask Paige out on a proper date.

And so you did.

Taking a deep breath, you walk inside Paige’s apartment. It was now a familiar environment, and the homey atmosphere calms your beating heart. ‘It’s just Paige,’ your brain soothes your sympathetic nervous system, as it tries to go into overdrive. Fighting against your instincts to flee, you stroll into Paige’s bedroom with a soft smile on your face.

The tall girl had fallen asleep, and she was curled up in purple bed sheets looking as angelic as ever. Her blonde hair fanned across the pillows, and her plush bottom lip was jutting out in a precious pout that reminded you of a childs. You wanted to remember this forever.

You tentatively sit on the edge of the bed, placing a small hand on Paige’s cheek, feeling the warm, soft skin. Your touch rouses her from her slumbers, and Paige gives you a sleepy grin as she realizes it’s you.

“Hi, baby,” she mumbles, voice husky with sleep.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” you tease softly. “Did ya get bored waiting for me?”

Paige just chuckles, and your belly flips at the familiar sound.

“Doyoumaybewannagoonadatewithme…? you spill out, practically babbling in a desperate effort to just get it all out before you lose your courage.

Your rapid wording flies over Paige’s still drowsy head, and she responds with a bewildered, “Huh?”

You swallow your pride once more, and with a deep breath you repeat yourself, much slower this time. “Do you want to go on a date? With me?”

Paige’s blue eyes widen, and her tongue darts out of her mouth to run across that fucking bottom lip again, and she nods. A grin is spreading across her face, and the swarm of butterflies that were assaulting your stomach a few seconds ago have flown away, leaving a wave of calm to wash over you.

Trying to figure out where to take Paige was a whole other issue that had crept up on you. You were not used to having much control when it came to planning dates, and it had to be fucking perfect. You wanted to avoid the typical dinner and a movie routine; that was boring. Other activities would be difficult with Paige’s popularity, and you needed to evade the hoards of her adoring fans.

You finally decide to take her go-karting. It was perfect. It appealed to her competitive edge, and it was super fun. You packed a bunch of her favorite snacks, and you were all set.

Wiping your sweaty palms on your pants, you knock on Paige’s door to pick her up. The nerves threaten to make you turn on your heels and flee once more, but you resist. Paige opens the door with a cheesy smile that causes a visceral reaction from you. She would never not make you feel a million things all at once. She looked you up and down, a flirty expression on that beautiful fucking face of hers.

“Lookin’ good, babe,” she murmurs, and your face heats up at the compliment.

“You look gorgeous, P,” you declare in response, thus eliciting a similar flush that has you smirking in pride. Pulling a blush out of Paige Bueckers was always an accomplishment.

You take her hand in yours and lead her to your car, and you allow her to connect to the aux. She looks at you in surprise. “You never let me listen to my music in your car.”

“It’s your lucky day,” you tease with a small laugh. “I can go without Taylor Swift for a bit; this day is about you.” Paige beams, and your decision makes it all worth it.

You would kill someone just to keep that pretty smile on her face.

You drive to the go-kart track with your right hand intertwined with Paige’s, and it was your turn to rub small circles on the back of hers. The domesticity of everything was bringing you much hope that this would all turn into more. Now that you had a taste of what it was like to belong to Paige, you knew it would be nearly impossible to give it up without a brutal fight.

As you arrive, you’re pulled out of your thoughts by Paige’s loud gasp as she realizes what the two of you would be doing this afternoon.

“Go-karting? Babe. I’m gonna kick your ass!”

Her taunting just makes you laugh, and you shake your head fondly as she gets out of the car and bounds toward the door, dragging you along in faux impatience.

The building is void of the usual busy crowd, and Paige notices the lack of people quickly. Seeing the confusion wash over her face, you explain that you pulled a few strings using your media manager status in order to have a little privacy. Paige says nothing. Instead, she pulls you in by the waist to press her lips against yours in an appreciative kiss, and you know this was the right call. You chase her lips and subconsciously go up on your tiptoes in an effort to get even closer.

The moment is interrupted as the manager of the facility walks over to where the two of you were standing, and introduces herself. She explains that you would have the place to yourselves for the next four hours, and she goes over how to work the go-karts.

By the time the manager leaves, giving you and Paige the privacy you had wanted since arriving, Paige is bouncing on her heels in pure, child-like excitement that makes you equally as giddy.

She bounds over to a brightly-colored purple go-kart, claiming loudly that it belonged to her, as you seat yourself in a green one. You watch her as she pulls the harness across her chest and tightens it, her tongue peeking out once more in concentration.

She was so endearing, and the feelings you were having had grown tenfold since she had originally asked you to pretend to date her just a few weeks prior. You weren’t sure if you would survive actually dating her. Just the thought made your heart feel as if it could explode at any moment.

Your daydream is cut short by Paige who is now attempting to trash-talk you. However, her insults were hardly so, as she was having a similar issue with handling her affections for you, as well.

“Mkay, I’ll believe it when I see it,” is all you get out before Paige is speeding away with a loud squeal and a cloud of gasoline. You barely mutter out a “fuck” before slamming your foot on the gas in a feeble attempt to catch up.

No such luck.

Paige actually was incredible at go-karting, and her smugness had no limit.

She walked out several hours later, one hand around yours once more and the other raised in the air, pumping her fist victoriously for the millionth time.

If it was literally anyone else, you would have felt mildly annoyed at her antics, but your fondness overtook any other possible emotions in your little love-drunk brain.

As you climb back inside your car to head back to Paige’s, you allow yourself to study the features of the blonde, and you’re ecstatic to see the similar looks of happiness on her face. You had been counting on this day being a success.

“I had a really fun time today. Thank you for doin’ all this for me,” Paige whispers sincerely with a flush of pink overtaking her pale skin.

“I’d do anything for you, P,” you respond, struggling to maintain eye contact with your sudden candor. “I just don’t know where your head has been, but I’d like to be more than friends. And more than just friends who pretend to date to help their other friend,” you add with a quiet laugh.

The sheer absurdity of the situation was finally settling in. And you were hoping to be able to reap some long-term benefits of having to pretend to date Paige.

Paige places a hand on your face, cupping your cheek delicately and forcing you to gaze deep into those blue eyes. “Course I wanna be more,” she murmurs, her voice raspy from the combination of the emotions and the amount of yelling she had done earlier. “You’ve been my girl since that day in the gym when you agreed to fake date me. Now it’s just official.”

“Good,” you reply, a smug smirk engulfing your expression, and before you can say anything else, Paige is pulling you into another searing kiss.

“What are we gonna tell the team?” you ask between kisses, puffs of air leaving your swollen mouth every few seconds.

Paige shrugs. “They’ve been wanting me to try and get together with you for years. Now that I’m thinkin’ ‘bout it, I feel like Azzi made up the whole thing just so I would kiss you…” she trails off, a look of realization flitting across her face.

A giggle escapes from your throat at the determination of Azzi Fudd to get the two of you together. And boy, were you grateful for the little scheme.

thanks so much for reading. i love you all :)

#paige bueckers #paige bueckers x reader #uconn wbb #uconn huskies #uconn women’s basketball #paige #paige x reader #friends to lovers #paige bueckers x you #fluff

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lushlovers · 8 months ago

Note

frat joe with drunken confessions definitely !!!!

Drunk Promises, J Burrow

summary; joe being absolutely gone and rambling about things he shouldn't.

warnings; swearing, kisses, mentions of drinking, drunken rambling

word count; 700 something

note; i'm so bored and tired but i can't sleep so i decided to fulfill this request while i have some downtime:)) also hey?? Its been like a million years, more frat joe coming soon;)!

The porch is spinning and Joe swears he sees three different door knobs after he's struggled with only you to help him drag his heavy limbs around. He attempts to reach for one of them but misses, swishing his hand around before he finds it to unlock and shove the door open. You mumble every swear that comes to mind when it slams into the rubber stopper on the wall, surely waking up everyone in the house and a few houses down, "Welcome to my humble abode, gorgeous," he smirks, stumbling into the wall, trying to play off the fact that he nearly fell over by leaning on it with arms crossed over his broad chest.

When your eyes meet him, his brows raise playfully. At this point it's taking everything out of you not to bust out laughing at his advancements, he's not one for compliments unless he's high as hell or drunk out of his mind, "I've been here more times than I can count, but thank you," you shake your head as you unstrapped your heels, leaving them to rest on the shoe rack.

After he'd struggled as much coming up the front steps, you're thanking God he chose the bedroom on the ground floor rather than up or downstairs. "To my bed then," he asks hopeful as all hell and you nod, taking his hands and leading him straight to his bed. He falls back onto it slowly scooting himself toward the headboard.

Quickly you bolt to the kitchen in search of hangover relief and some water before he gets any stupid ideas whilst left alone. Upon your return, you're greeted by a shirtless Joe who's struggling to get his jeans from around his ankles. Shaking your head for the thousandth time, you tug them off, discarding them in the hamper in the closet. "Eager for me?" You scoff at the ever-deepening of his voice and allow him to unzip your dress.

When his hands swiftly push the fabric from your shoulder, "Not tonight, Joey. Why don't you get some sleep" you step back and he continues attempting to pull you back into him. Joe watches intently as you find one of his LSU shirts folded atop his dresser, give it a smell test, and climb into bed beside him.

"Pathetic excuse for panties," he mumbles through hiccups, using his index finger to snap the elastic against the meat of your hip. You roll your eyes and as you inch away from him his arms wrap even tighter around you, keeping you plastered into him. He grinds his hard-on into the back of your thigh holding onto your hips moving you only where he sees fit.

"Sleep, Joseph," you murmur against his pillows but of course, he's relentless with his wet, sloppy neck kisses. This time you sit completely in bed, snatch the pillows from behind your head and throw them onto the floor. You fumble in the dark for the throw blankets at the foot of his bed, once you've found them you make your spot on the floor, but before you even put the pillows into position he's mumbling and hiccupping through protests.

"mmmm, baby noo, get up here with me. I sleep a bajillion times better with your body next to mine," when you meet his eyes they're glazed over, almost like he wants to cry but is fighting it with every fiber of his being. You're quite shocked, never has this man ever cried in your presence and for that to happen right here, right now, wouldn't shock you with the way he's been acting since his third drink. "And you're drunk, I don't want you to do or say something you'll regret, honey."

He's melting internally at your use of that sweet little nickname you love to use when he's been drinking, "I'll be quiet about all that, mama, I promise" You sigh, and give in as soon as a pout begins to show itself on his pretty, perfect face, picking up your stuff off the floor just as fast as you had put them down. Before you're even back into his bed, he's giggling and scooting over to leave much more space than you need to keep his promise.

#joe burrow fic #joe burrow fan fic #joe burrow fluff #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow x you #joe burrow x y/n #nfl fan fic #joe burrow blurb #joe burrow smut #joe burrow imagine #frat!lsu!joe burrow #frat!joe burrow #joe burrow #lushlovers fic

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versairic · 8 months ago

Text

Helpful friend | LN

Warnings — alcohol

In which you just wanted to help lando

In which rules are suddelny broken

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The bass was literally pounding in my ears, while the floor beneath my feet seemed to vibrate more with every step I took.

The lights were dimmed and every now and then a few colorful lights flashed on for a few seconds. It smelled of sweat and alcohol.

Sweaty bodies rubbed against each other so that there was barely room to squeeze past.

My mood slowly hit rock bottom as I tried to get away with saying 'May I? ' which left my mouth in a continuous loop, squeezed past the dancing crowd.

Tonight should actually have been a good night. I was in a club in London with Lando, Aarav, Ria, Niran and Max Fewtrell.

Lando and I had been back in London for a while, where we had bumped into the part of Team Quardrant that we didn't get to see very often.

We had spent the whole afternoon filming a few challenges for the YouTube channel.

Afterwards, we had been driven here to the club, where we wanted to party a little, just like old times.

Everything had gone well at first, until a stranger spilled the contents of his sticky drink on my lap and I had to queue in the long line to the loo for about 45 minutes until I could somehow wipe the sticky liquid off my dress.

The dark stains had been clearly visible in the bright light of the toilet, despite my panicked rubbing around, unlike now in the lushly lit club. Here you could only guess at the stains.

As I squeezed past sweaty bodies and struggled to keep my mouth shut, my eyes wandered through the crowd, searching.

Hoping to get a better look at one of my friends, I stood on tiptoe, but it didn't help much.

Inwardly, I cursed myself for not having worn higher heels. But they probably wouldn't have helped me in this stupid light, which barely provided any light at all.

An annoyed sigh left my lips when I was bumped into again. My eyes closed reflexively and I waited for another sticky liquid to be poured over my body.

But nothing happened.

I slowly opened my eyes and looked into Ria's face, who was looking at me radiantly. Her lipstick was a little smudged, while her hair sat a little disheveled on her head.

Before I had rushed to the toilet queue, I had left Ria alone on the dance floor, where she had probably continued to dance extensively and wildly, as her appearance told me.

" Hey, there you are! " She shouted over the loud music and wrapped her bare arm around me so that I wouldn't get lost in the crowd again.

" I've been looking all over for you, where are the others? " I also called out to her, whereupon Ria raised her eyebrow in confusion and had to think for a few seconds about what I had just asked her.

I couldn't blame her. Ria had already had a bit of alcohol, so my best friend took a little longer to think.

" Over there! " The dark-haired girl pointed her index finger in a certain direction, where I spotted Lando and Niran.

The two of them were standing on the platform where the DJ booth was located and a DJ was just about to heat up the crowd, so a loud roar went through the crowd and I was sure I would wake up with a headache in the morning.

Of course, where else would Lando be?

My best friend had recently become quite interested in the whole DJ thing, so Lando took every opportunity to look over the shoulder of a DJ at work.

" Are you coming with me? " I asked Ria as I took my eyes off Lando and Niran. But Ria was no longer standing where she had just been, but disappeared straight back into the crowd, which literally swallowed her up.

I took a deep breath and resolved to hold my breath from time to time over the next few minutes as I made my way to the DJ booth. Because there really was nothing more disgusting than the smell of sweat.

I kept getting elbowed in the stomach or back, so that my fingernails began to dig into my palms and I had to control myself not to accidentally kick them.

What felt like an eternity later, I had fought my way to the DJ booth. I leaned my head back to look up.

However, once again there was no sign of the Formula 1 driver.

That couldn't be true. How could everyone keep getting away from me?

Once again, my eyes wandered back and forth frantically as the DJ turned the music up a little louder so that I almost had a sudden hearing loss from the large speakers not far away from me.

Grumbling, I pressed my hands firmly over my ears. I had nothing against going to a club with friends to have a bit of fun and dance the night away.

But if there was one thing I loathed more than anything, it was incredibly loud music, lots of people and the smell of sweat.

" Where are you guys? " I mumbled more or less to myself as I found an empty crate and stood on it without hesitating.

I was finally a bit taller and could clearly see over some of the heads of the dancing and drinking crowd.

From a distance, I could see Max standing at the bar with his girlfriend and Aarav and Niran dancing strangely with Ria.

But where was my best friend?

My heart automatically began to beat a little faster, while a slight fear crept up inside me.

I knew that Lando couldn't handle too much alcohol and that he often forgot when it was time for him to stop because of the so-called peer pressure.

I had already seen Lando do strange things when he was drunk.

Lando was the kind of person who was initially quite funny under the influence of alcohol, but things changed abruptly soon afterwards and the McLaren driver quickly became tired.

I had occasionally found him sleeping in the strangest places, such as in the middle of a hedge, leaning against a tree or in front of a flower store.

Suddenly, I spotted the curly-haired man from afar, pushing open the back door of the club and seemingly disappearing into the backyard.

I quickly jumped down from the crate, almost falling over, but quickly caught myself.

I had to hurry to catch up with Lando in time before the Brit could even begin to think strange thoughts.

With difficulty, I literally boxed my way through the crowd towards the back exit. With every meter I walked, I prayed to find Lando in the backyard.

Maybe he just needed some fresh air or a break from the loud music, which I couldn't blame him for.

As I pushed open the steel door, the cool night air of London came straight at me, making me shiver in my sleeveless dress.

I wrapped my arms protectively around myself as I stepped further into the dark backyard and the door slammed shut with a loud thud and the club's music could only be heard muffled.

But the bass could still be clearly felt, so my knees began to tremble slightly.

The backyard was only lit by a single lamp hanging crookedly from the wall of the house, threatening to fall out of the wall with the next bash.

" Hello? " I asked into the barely lit alleyway. To my right were two large garbage cans and countless cigarette butts. The club staff and some guests always had to disappear here to smoke.

To my left was a residential building with a few lights still on, which I couldn't blame given the volume. Although I rather wondered how anyone could voluntarily move next door to a club.

A narrow corridor between the apartment building and the club led back to the street. But the corridor was pitch black.

" Lando? " I almost whispered as I pulled my cell phone out of my small pocket and turned on the flashlight.

What I was doing here was probably a good start for a horror movie. But to be honest, I only felt the slightest hint of fear, which was probably due to my alcohol intake.

My feet slowly walked towards the corridor, which was now slightly illuminated by my flashlight and I could see a little better.

And then I discovered something.

Lando sat leaning back against the brick wall with his head in his hands.

" Lan! " I shouted, almost relieved, as I ran the last few steps towards my best friend and crouched down in front of him.

He raised his eyes and looked at me. His eyes were slightly glazed and had lost their shine, while he was quite pale around the nose.

He must have thrown up.

" There you are, " he slurred slightly as a smile spread across his lips and he wrapped his arms around me.

Surprised by this embrace, I more or less lost my balance and stumbled onto Lando's lap.

My eyes widened as Lando's mouth let out an 'oops' and he began to giggle.

I felt the heat rise to my cheeks and then I began to clear my throat in embarrassment before quickly rising from his lap.

At any other time I probably would have enjoyed this, but definitely not in a drunken state.

" Are you okay? " Lando inquired anxiously as he stood up and began to sway. Another soft chuckle escaped him as he rested his hands on the wall.

" Shouldn't I ask you if you're okay? " I asked as I carefully grabbed Lando's arm to support him.

" Until just now...No..." he mumbled as he slowly put one foot in front of the other and left the dark backyard with my help.

" And now? " I asked when we had finally left the dark alley behind us and were back on the street, which was still a bit busy.

A few cars and pedestrians were still on the road at this late hour and their presence made me feel a little safer.

" Now yes! " Lando beamed. " Because... because you're here. "

Without being able to do anything about it, my stomach began to tingle slightly thanks to Lando's words.

I knew he was drunk and probably didn't even remember what he was saying, but those words still made me feel pretty warm.

" Are you taking me home? I feel sick and I'm suddenly so tired," Lando sulked and then emphasized his statement with a loud yawn.

" I'll do that, but if you feel sick, let me know straight away, okay? "

Lando nodded tiredly. Before I called us a cab, I wrote to the group of friends that Lando and I were already on our way back.

I hoped that one of them would read the message and not panic and search the whole club for us.

It took a few minutes for Lando and I to wait for the cab. While we waited, the Brit told me some weird story about gorillas and red lollipops, which I didn't even understand the context of, but it had certainly been entertaining.

Lando hadn't said a word the whole cab ride, so I assumed he had fallen asleep.

But when the cab stopped at our address, Lando was suddenly wide awake again, so the British man gave the cab driver far too much money and then jumped out of the car.

Without saying a word to the cab driver, I also jumped out of the car and ran after Lando up the driveway.

" Where is the key? " I asked as I came to a halt next to him and Lando's eyes almost fell shut again.

"Jeans," he mumbled and then lifted his arms to give me more room.

Smiling, I reached into Lando's back trouser pockets and shortly afterwards pulled out the key to unlock the front door.

" This is where I live? " Lando looked around the hallway with wide eyes after I had switched on the light and closed the door behind us.

"yes" , I smiled as I put the key in the little bowl on the sideboard and then took off my shoes and put my bag down next to it.

Lando hated it when someone entered his home wearing shoes. He couldn't understand why you could feel at home with shoes on.

But the drunken Lando didn't seem to mind, because when I told him to go upstairs, the Brit ran up the wooden stairs without taking his shoes off first.

So while Lando ran upstairs, I quickly scurried into the kitchen to fill a glass of water and get an aspirin.

Hoping that Lando had already finished brushing his teeth and was in bed, I ran up to the bedroom.

But the bed was empty.

The glass of water and the aspirin found their place on the bedside table, next to a photo of Lando, his friends and me, before I ran over to the bathroom, where the light was on and Lando was sitting on the closed toilet seat, holding two wrapped toothbrushes in his hand.

" What are you doing? " I asked carefully, but apparently not carefully enough, as the Brit flinched and pointed the pink and yellow toothbrush at me.

"Phew, I thought you were a burglar," he mumbled, which made me giggle quietly.

" What are you doing? " With a nod, I pointed to the toothbrushes Lando was holding.

" I wasn't sure if the toothbrush in the cup belonged there, so I'd better get two new ones from the cupboard there," Lando pointed with his index finger to the cupboard under the sink to make it clear to me where he had got the toothbrushes from.

I know, Lando, I said to him in my mind, because I was the one who had got the toothbrushes for him and put them in the cupboard.

"This is yours, Lan," I explained to Lando as I grabbed the orange toothbrush, moistened it with water and then put toothpaste on it before holding it in front of Lando's nose.

"Cool, orange! " he grinned as he took the toothbrush from me and began to brush his teeth in slow movements, his eyes getting smaller and smaller.

" Are you going to be okay? " I asked him with a grin after I had put the packed toothbrushes away again and watched him for a few seconds.

" Brushing your teeth is sooo tiring. Has it always been? " he mumbled with the toothbrush in his mouth, causing a few blobs to drip onto his black shirt.

" Sometimes it's annoying, yes. Come on, I'll help you so it goes faster. "

I squatted slightly in front of Lando and started to help him brush his teeth. I had the feeling that I was looking at a small child and not a 24-year-old man.

After we had successfully brushed his teeth, I followed Lando over to the adjoining bedroom, where the Brit was already slipping out of his clothes.

By now he was hardly swaying, so I was sure that the alcohol was slowly disappearing from his body.

When Lando stood in front of me shortly afterwards in just his boxer shorts and I saw his muscular chest in the dim light produced by the bedside lamp, I almost fainted.

It would be a lie if I said that I hadn't had my eye on my best friend and found him attractive, because he really was.

However, there was a certain rule in our circle of friends that made it impossible for me to fall in love with my best friend, even though it was somehow way too late.

" Ohh, I forgot," Lando mumbled as he reached for the hem of his boxer shorts and tried to take them off too.

" Stop, stop! " I exclaimed in near panic as I pressed my hands over my eyes to avoid seeing my best friend naked, even though I would have loved the view at another time.

" Huh? " Lando asked, and without having to look at him, I knew that he was now standing there with a totally confused face and furrowed eyebrows.

" They stay on. " I slowly released my hands from my eyes again and was pleased to see that Lando was still wearing his boxers.

The dark-haired man nodded sympathetically.

I pulled a pair of sweatpants and a shirt out of his closet, both of which he was supposed to wear to sleep.

The Brit, however, dropped his butt onto the bed and stretched tiredly while he made no effort to get dressed.

So I had not only brushed my best friend's teeth, but also helped him into his clothes.

"You're the best," Lando mumbled as he finally slipped under the light-colored comforter and adjusted the pillow a little.

" Is there anything else I can do for you? " I asked after picking up his clothes, which were scattered randomly on the floor.

" If I asked you if you would stay, would you? " The gleam in Lando's eyes slowly returned, while a smile spread across his lips.

His question almost made the clothes I had picked up fall out of my hands again.

My heart skipped a beat as my hands began to play nervously with the fabric of Lando's shirt.

This had all gone a bit beyond our previous friendly boundaries. But sleeping in a bed with him would go completely beyond the scope, wouldn't it?

I couldn't just give in to Lando's drunken state because my heart in love wanted to scream yes out loud.

" Please ", he almost begged, while I still didn't move and almost clutched his clothes tightly. " You can wear something of mine to sleep in too. "

This sentence didn't make Lando's request any easier, because the butterflies woke up in my stomach, flapping their wings gently back and forth in my belly and my cheeks became slightly warm.

" U-uh...uhm you know that's against the rules? " I asked in a squeaky voice.

God, why were the rules suddenly so important to me?

" But there's no one here who made the rules. So no one needs to know about this, right? After all, I've always been against the rule that you can't date anyone from your circle of friends. "

Another grin formed on Lando's lips as he slowly pulled back the comforter and stood up.

A few steps later, the Brit stood in front of me.

"Besides, it's already too late for that rule anyway," he breathed more or less into my ear, causing goose bumps to spread all over my body.

And before I could even begin to open my mouth to say something back, Lando walked over to his closet and a short time later pushed some clothes towards me.

" I won't take no for an answer, because I know you feel the same way. "

With these words, Lando pushed me into the bathroom and before he closed the door, he winked at me.

And so he left me with an explosion of emotion.

I didn't know how long it had taken me to collect myself and then leave the bathroom changed.

All my emotions had gone so crazy with Lando's words that even after the long time I had spent in the bathroom, I walked back to the bed with trembling knees.

Lando was still awake. He lay covered up in bed and began to look me up and down with a grin as I scurried over to the free side of the bed.

My cheeks turned red again, so I quickly pulled the comforter over me and started tugging at the hem of Lando's shirt, which I was wearing, from under the comforter.

There was quite a big gap between Lando and me, which the Brit didn't seem to like.

He quickly wrapped his right arm around me and pulled me so close to him that my head automatically rested on his chest.

And so I could hear his rapidly beating heart.

" Do you hear how fast it beats? It always has since you've been around me," he more or less breathed to me as he wrapped his arms protectively around me and I felt a gentle kiss wash over my hair.

Damn, what was he doing to me?

My cheeks heated up again and my heart began to beat faster. Our hearts were probably fighting to see whose heart beat faster.

" Lando ", I whispered into the darkness a few minutes later, but it was too late.

The Brit had already returned to the land of dreams and left me alone with my rapidly beating heart and my thoughts.

And I hoped that he wouldn't regret this when he woke up tomorrow.

#lando norris #lando norris imagine #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #f1 x reader #formula one imagine #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #formula 1 #f1 #formula one

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seullovesme · 10 months ago

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need your attention » nakamura kazuha

pairing ⥬ kazuha x f!reader

genre ⥬ fluff

summary ⥬ you pay the le sserafim girls a visit after one of their stages and your time spent with a certain member was misunderstood by kazuha

sorry to my dear anon who requested this, ive been neglecting this for so long 😞

the attention of the le sserafim girls was caught when a member of the staff quite loudly questioned you, asking who you were and why you were trying to get inside.

the first one to recognize you was eunchae, she was surprised to see you and got the attention of the leader sitting beside her, telling her to tell the staff to let you in. "unnie! look it's y/n, tell them to let her in!"

the other girls heard your name and turned to see you standing at the door with a face mask on being talked to by some staff. chaewon got up and rushed to go and assist you while the members all smiled at each other.

she pulled the face mask off your face and grabbed your wrist, dragging you to where everyone had been sitting and she sat you right beside sakura before claiming her spot beside yunjin.

"y/n!" the eldest cheered as she hugged you as tight as possible, making your face turn a shade of red as you felt the air leave your lungs. "hey, stop hogging her!" eunchae yelled as she also lunged toward you and you yelped when she squeezed you too.

"guys stop! look at her, she's gonna pop!" they both let go of you to take a peek at your face and you gasped for air. "one more second and you may have actually suffocated me." you say in between small breaths, smiling at the affection of your friends.

"not our fault, where have you been? we missed you!" sakura said, going in for a much softer hug. you took your eyes off her and glanced at kazuha who was crossing her arms, looking disinterested. did she not miss you at all? you looked away and coughed as you noticed that the rest were all patiently waiting for your response, wondering if they saw you peek at the ballerina.

"w-well, i've been busy working at this new company and i actually got paid yesterday, so i was hoping that i could treat you guys out for dinner!" when you made the offer, the girls all got up and began squealing in excitement. it was nice finally seeing them again, you enjoyed watching them be so up and active, just being so cheerful. especially zuha.

but she didn't get up like the rest of them had. she just kept sulking in her seat. you could tell something was off about her and that she was thinking really deeply, but you chose not to say anything. you knew that she would tell you what was bothering her sooner or later, she always let you know what was on her mind.

they began discussing places to go and what foods they were craving. you watched them happily, ecstatic that you were able to treat them after all the times they treated you. you continued sneaking glances to kazuha, hoping to catch her looking at you as well, but her eyes were locked onto sakura. you turned to sakura and realized she had been talking to you.

"mm? sorry, say that again i wasn't listening." you laughed nervously and rubbed your neck.

"oh i was just asking if you had any preferences like what kind of food you wanted, or if there were any restaurants you were interested in going to."

you shook your head in response. "no, it's up to you guys. i'm not picky." sakura nodded and went back to chatting after you gave a small smile.

you looked back to where kazuha was sitting, but she was gone. you searched the room for her, eventually spotting her sitting at a vanity, mindlessly going through her phone. thinking back, she didn't have any input about food. was she not hungry?

you got up and walked over to her, hoping this was the chance to talk with her one on one and hopefully ask her to go out sometime, just the two of you. she didn't look up from her phone when you stood there awkwardly, sort of ignoring you.

"hi." you were going insane on the inside, your braincells going into a code red as you lost the ability to think of what to say. she put down her phone and made eye contact with you through the mirror, waiting for you to continue.

you cleared your throat. "so... did you not have any food suggestions? where do you want to go?" you asked, your voice a little shaky.

"hm. i don't know, why don't you ask kura unnie?" she said while she broke eye contact, picking at a thread on her shirt.

"what?"

"you should ask kura unnie, sure seems like she has a lot to talk to you about." she mumbled the last sentence, but you heard it clearly. you spun her chair to face you directly.

"what's going on? is everything okay, kazuha? you can talk to me, you know i'll hear you out." zuha sighed and leaned back in her chair as she crossed her arms. you pulled up a stool and when you seated yourself, you were a little shorter than her. you put a hand on her knee and gently stroked it as an attempt to comfort her.

"well, she's been hogging all your attention and you didn't give any to me. you didn't even say anything to me until now." she just looked away, embarrassed to have admitted her need for your attention out loud. "but i guess i understand, she's really pretty and all. honestly, i guess i'm.. glad she feels the same." she finishes hesitantly, her words lacking sincerity.

with the way you couldn't understand what she was talking about, it was like she was speaking another language. who feels the same about what? and she just wanted your attention? you blushed at the fact that kazuha flat out said that she was upset you didn't give her attention. she was adorable.

"what do you mean? sakura feels the same? about what?" you questioned.

"don't play dumb, i can tell you like sakura!"

you tried not to, but you laughed. "i do not like sakura, where did you get this from?" kazuha huffed and pouted, annoyed by your reaction.

"you were all over her earlier! you were basically giving her heart eyes." you scoffed at her response, rolling your eyes with a smile.

"heart eyes? all over her? oh please, we had two conversations."

"what about when she hugged you? you seemed to enjoy it a little too much."

"she was squeezing the life out of me, what do you mean?! plus, eunchae hugged me as well."

"well," she thought about another argument, but she didn't have anything else to say. "whatever." she went back to playing with the thread on her shirt, feeling kind of silly because you were right after all. there wasn't anything weird about what you were doing her member, but it still bothered her. just watching you talk to her when you hadn't even tried to talk to her once this entire time affected her tremendously. she felt frustrated with all these mixed feelings.

and you could tell. you saw that she was bothered, and she was even saying it out right that she was upset about your interactions with your other japanese friend. the only thing was that you knew how she felt. "zuha, you don't think you're a tad bit jealous?"

it was her turn to scoff. "jealous? of what? the fact that you like kura unnie and not me? pshh, no way." kazuha frowned slightly because she was, and it was making her say these stupid things. curse her stupid heart and it's stupid feelings.

"oh, kazuha." you lifted her chin, initiating eye contact but she just pouted, scared to look you in the eye.

"i told you, i don't like sakura that way. in fact, it's quite the opposite." she finally gave in and stared into the windows of your soul.

"she is pretty," you observed the twitch in her eyebrow when you said that. "but i think you are the prettiest girl out of everyone in the world." her jaw just fell and she watched the corners of your lips curl up.

"i'm sorry i didn't give you any attention. i know i usually do so i understand why you were bothered. you weren't used to it, were you?" kazuha shook her head, and you smiled as she eased up the tension in her muscles. you just needed to let her know that you understood, that's all.

"how about this, i give you my undivided attention for as long as you want this upcoming saturday, just us. does that sound better?" you offered and she was dumbfounded.

she uncrossed her arms and nervously rubbed her palms on her thighs, feeling the heat of your gaze cause her to sweat a bit. "are you.. asking me out?" you just nodded and watched as kazuha's eyes lit up. she clapped her hands together and flashed her sweet smile, and it felt like you were watching an angel spread it wings for the first time. it was just a beautiful sight to see.

"then yes! it sounds much better." she took the hand you had resting on her knee and held it tightly. you swooned over her touch, enjoying the way she shined. "i don't want any other girls to have you, you're all mine."

you raised one eyebrow at her words which kazuha picked up as you teasing her, and she hit your shoulder in response. you snickered, interlocking your fingers with hers and tugging her, pulling her up to stand. you gave her another smile and brought her back to the girls who were finalizing their choices.

you sat where zuha was sitting previously and pulled her onto your lap, wrapping your arms around her waist. the four of them turn to you two and carried on with planning like it was the usual. because it was, it was always you and kazuha, kazuha and you.

everyone knew you and zuha were like two peas in a pod, and it seemed that the only ones didn't were the people in question.

literally took me so long to finish one fic, wtf is wrong with me rn😒

#seullovesme » posted!#nakamura kazuha #nakamura kazuha x reader #kazuha x reader #miyawaki sakura #le sserafim #kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop gg #kpop imagines #non idol au

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ryanguzmansource · 7 months ago

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Full Audio Transcript (5.21.24)

Hey guys, welcome to I've Never Said This Before with me, Tommy Didario.

If you are not watching 9-1-1 on ABC, you are seriously missing out. The show is so phenomenal that it has been renewed for an eighth season and, my guest today—well, he is phenomenal as well. In fact, he is on my show because of you. I saw all of the tweets, the DMs, the emails—all of it so, like a genie in a bottle, your wish has been granted.

The talented actor Ryan Guzman stars in the smash hit firefighter drama series 9-1-1 and audiences fell in love with his character, Eddie, the moment he debuted in Episode 1 of Season 2. Man, he has become a staple on the show and fans have been rooting for Eddie throughout the years, and Ryan plays each moment of Eddie's journey with such care and vulnerability and truth.

We have a lot to cover today and I have a feeling you're going to really enjoy this fun but also personal and deep conversation. We do dive into some very serious mental health conversations, so after the interview, I will be providing resources for anyone struggling with their own mental health. This is one of the most powerful interviews I have ever done, and I really thank Ryan for opening up in the ways that he did today because I know that he is going to help so many people out there feel less alone.

So, let's see if we can get Ryan to say something he has never said before.

[INTRO MUSIC]

Ryan, my friend, how are you doing today?

I'm good, brother. How are you?

I'm good. I know you have been working your butt off. You were just saying you were filming all night. Are you exhausted or are you on adrenaline right now?

A little mixture of both. I got a little coffee pumped through my system. But yeah, I think I worked six out of seven days this last week. We've been doing around 14, 15 hour days. And I just got off last night around 1.30 in the morning. So got home around 2.30. But we're here. We're here.

Well, you were putting in the work. Congratulations to you on all of the success with this show. It's of course now on ABC. People are loving it. The numbers are going insane. And you've always been a fan favorite from day one. When you had that first scene of you putting that shirt on in slow motion and your body was glistening and Whatta Man was playing, people just fell in love with your character. But that's not just why they love your character. I mean, over the seasons, people have found you so relatable and and really, really are truly invested in the role that you play. Why do you think that is?

I like to say that, I mean, I try to play as grounded as I can, but I think the story itself is just the way Tim Minear writes the character. And I think he's always had a special connection with this kind of character. So, just indebted to how he writes and the connectivity between Eddie and his son. I mean, it's just like it pulls at the heartstrings, you know, and that's always been a fan favorite as well. So, you know, I'm living in gratitude for everything that's been written for that character and I try to do as much justice as I can.

Well, you're nearing the end of Season 7 and past seasons for you have been a bit heavier, a bit more intense. You've really gone through quite a lot of things that we'll touch on a bit later, which I know is also part of the reason why so many people relate to you. Are you enjoying this journey this season?

Yeah, you know what? I haven't really been able to kind of flex my humorous side and just kind of lightheartedness, kind of a vibe about Eddie, and I love that aspect of him. So while everybody else is kind of going through chaos, while Cap is going through chaos, Eddie is kind of, you know, trying to keep everybody together while, you know, Chimney and Hen be going at it during the tsunami and The Poseidon Adventure, Eddie is just, you know, being there for everybody as much as he can. So not to say that he's always going to be happy because Tim always has this thing about saying, you know, if I just let you guys be happy, then there'd be no story. You got to have some kind of drama. Nobody wants to show up just for people smiling all the time. But yeah, we've got some things in store for the rest of the season. And from what we've already shot, I've been super pleased about, you know, this new way of life for Eddie.

Like I said, the things you've gone through are intense throughout the years. Do you have any fear stepping into this role or any anxiety before you had to film some of those more intense scenes? Because it's a lot.

Yeah, you know what? Prior to 9-1-1, I might have had some fears about the depth of a lot of the things that we shot. I honestly didn't really call myself an actor until like maybe three and a half years ago.

No.

Yeah. I thought I was just fooling everybody, trying to get jobs and land the movies that I was getting. And then I think somewhere around the third season, a co-star of mine kind of, like, metaphorically slapped me in the face and said, you know, let's really get into this, man. You got some really good opportunity here. So that's when I started calling myself an actor. But to be honest, the depth of Eddie in the past three, four seasons has been amazing as just a class. It's been class for me. It's been an opportunity to flex these emotions that I don't get to flex in my day-to-day life and to access certain things and see how far can I push Eddie, how, you know, in the scene where Eddie is just losing his stuff and he's breaking everything in his house. Obviously, I've never done it in my house, but how do I get there? How can I allow the audience to feel what I'm feeling? And that task itself becomes a challenge. And I really [like] that type of challenge. So again, living in gratitude for all the little things that Eddie presents that, you know, I haven't really been presenting my own life.

So with that being said, is there a storyline that's particularly special to you for any given reason?

I kind of lean automatically towards the military/PTSD just because I have a cousin who served six tours and, you know, he shared with me—and I actually, oddly enough, during the episode of Eddie Begins, I brought him on as a military tech and he helped out everybody in the production. His name is Randy Hudson. I, you know, I love that guy to death—but, yeah, he's shared with me a lot of his issues that he's gone through and a lot of the obstacles he's gone through in his day to day life and what it's like to be a military vet coming back and kind of assimilating back into civilian lifestyle. So that storyline always kind of held a special place in my heart just because it was very close connected with me and my own family. And I always hope that, you know, I did it justice enough for everybody that has that story ingrained in them.

I think you definitely did. I saw a lot of comments when I announced you as my guest saying that that was a very meaningful part of your journey on this show. I'm so curious, you know, quite often in television it moves so fast, there's always rewrites or so much going on. Was there ever a story that you wanted to come to fruition that never did?

I hated the fact that we killed off Shannon so quick. I know she wasn't a very likable character for so many different reasons, but I always loved working with Devin. So I would love to explore a little bit more with that. But yeah, there's always beauty and chaos a little bit. So I would have loved the relationship, mother, father, parenting style aspect of Eddie's life to be a more explored, but unfortunately that can't happen anymore.

There's always so many things going on. I'm sure it's hard to fit them into each episode, and I'm sure things do have to get cut because major things keep happening episode after episode, one of them being recently, of course, Buck realized he's Bi and that's a storyline everyone's going crazy over. Did you see that coming? Were you like, I think one day this is going to happen for him?

Well, I mean, it's always kind of been in the ether. Everybody, you know, all the fans, you know, have their speculations about Eddie and Buck and, you know, for the longest time, I think Oliver and I again had lightheartedness to it. We always kind of like saw it as like, oh, at least they're so interested in our characters. Thank God they're interested in our characters. They're not ignoring us, and I don't know if either of us had a pinpoint, you know, idea on which character or if any character would actually lead in that way.

But again, all credit to Tim Minear. He's the one that knows the way. So he chose Buck's character to explore that route. And now seeing it happen in front of our eyes, it makes so much sense. And it just the way him, Buck and Tommy are getting together and the way they're exploring their own individuality and personality. It's beautiful to watch. I was very excited to see, you know, that episode specifically, just for the fact that it was such a moment between, you know, a friend and another friend who had held this huge secret. And how do you come out to your friend?

I had a friend, you know—because I know I've had this actually in my own personal life. I've said this in prior interviews—I had a friend who was deadly scared of coming out to me. And I realized that that moment itself wasn't so much the journey for me, you know, it was this hard journey for himself. And all I had to do was catch. I just had to be there for him, and I was like, that moment itself is so beautiful. I can't wait to do that scene. I can't wait to, you know, show the world like this is how you be there for your brother.

Wow, how cool that you could pull from your real life experience and make that scene even more special, which is why I think it came off so incredibly powerful. It really was so cool to see. And the reception has been absolutely incredible in terms of people feeling like, you know, they're seen through that character and it's on prime-time TV. And you don't see a ton of that, which is still kind of crazy. But, you know, and of course, there were some negative comments, which blows my mind. I mean, I'm sure that blew your mind, too, to see that because who cares, right?

Honestly, I've got this now filter for negative comments. They just kind of seep right through and I don't even hold on to anything. So all I've seen is really, really good comments.

And one of the best parts is actually I've gone to work and Oliver himself has been like telling me these stories of people saying, man, I did not have the strength to come out until way later on in my life. So I'm like, oh man, could you imagine 20, 30 years of holding on to this repressed thing and then it just eating away at you and not being able to say anything, even to the closest people and then seeing something on television to inspire you. That kind of thing is just like, whoa, okay, we're doing something much greater, much bigger than us.

He's not the only one inspiring its characters like you because you're showing, you know, what an ally means, and I think that's really cool to see this like macho, cool guy that's just like, cool, like who cares? And that's also equally as powerful and as important. Before we put a pin on this, you know, part of the conversation, you mentioned you never know what the writers are going to do, and I think there were talks at one point of possibly Eddie being the one to come out in some sort of way. Do you laugh and have fun with all of the fandom's obsession with you as Eddie and Buck getting together? Like, is that something you guys always are seeing and hearing? And I know everyone brings it up to you and it's something that's always looming. Like, how do you react to that? Does it ever get tiring for you?

Again, if the fans are interested, we're doing our job. So I love the love. And I mean, unfortunately, I'm not the one that writes it. So it's all up to Tim. But me and Oliver have a really good time with the fact that, you know, people are so invested into these storylines. And in fact, they're so invested, they're creating their own storylines. They're sending us clips and edits and videos. And, you know, every now and then, Oliver will show me something, I'll show Oliver something. Like, did we actually do this in a scene? Because they cut it so well together.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I think at the end of the day, you know, we just love the love. We're here to entertain and tell the truth. If it's true to the character, then yeah.”

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

You can't predict the future. Nobody can on this show. But if the opportunity one day happened to come your way where they were like, this storyline might be explored between Buck and Eddie, would you be open to that storyline in the future? I see you smiling. I see Oliver had the same reaction, a big ass grin on his face when I asked this.

Yeah, you know, like I said, it's got to live in the truth and I think right now we live in a moment—or me, I live moment to moment—so I love the fact that the biggest plot point between these two characters is one happens to be Bi, one happens to be Hetero, and they have this vulnerability towards each other. And that is the truth to me is it's the fact that you have such a safe space and it doesn't matter your sexuality, that you have a safe space to talk to this individual and he can fully accept you. If we can stay with that, then whatever happens, happens.

But I don't necessarily want to push the fact that because you're vulnerable, you have to be one way or the other in your sexuality. Then I would hate to have a lot of other men who are struggling mentally and not sure about, oh, do I even open up? Because will that make me something that I'm not? I would hate to push that narrative. So if we live in the truth, whatever happens, happens. And again, I'm here for it all.

Whatever happens, happens. That's a nice way to put it. And I agree with you. I think there's power in both. I think there's power in showing a strong friendship that you don't always get to see. And then there's power if something eventually does happen. So whatever happens, happens. I like that, man. What can we expect for the rest of the season with your characters? Anything you can tease? The finale is coming up. We have a couple more weeks. What can we expect?

What can we expect? Well, we can expect that Eddie's smiles might turn to frowns.

Oh no.

Or at least confusion, maybe. We'll start to see, you know, has he gotten past certain traumas? Or is he just kind of pushed them to the side and acting like they're not there?

You know, I have to say a lot of people are still holding on to hope that we're going to get that karaoke scene.

I mean, yeah, we had such a good time playing that karaoke scene, and it was kind of a let down a little bit to know that it wasn't going to be in there. But now, again, looking at the episode itself, as fun as it would be, the main story was Chimney. And the way Kenneth Choi played Chimney, and that episode specifically—I mean, I think he got, you know, performance of the week for that—it would have been a disservice to add, you know, a three-minute scene of us laughing and having a great time and being drunks and karaoke and take away from that performance. So I'm glad that Tim made that decision, and I don't know if he has any plans on showing that later on or whatnot or having some extended clip version, but I can tell you this much, everybody from the cast to the crew to the background had a wild and crazy time doing that scene.

And I think what I just heard you say is you might accidentally drop it on your Instagram very soon.

I might get fired if I do that.

All right. Well, we'll see. I'll talk to ABC PR. No problem. What do you want to see for season eight? Like, are you thinking about the future? Is there like, OK, if I can have my way, I absolutely want to explore blank.

To be honest, there's so much going at us so rapid, so fast paced at this moment. The scripts are getting handed in like quick as can be. So we have a moment's notice to kind of know what we're doing and where we're going with our character. From what I know, from what I've shot thus far, I think next season will literally be a refresh button to Eddie. And starting over in so many different ways, so many new ways in which Eddie has never explored and we've never seen Eddie explore. He'll be on his own in a lot of areas.

Speaking of that, I have to bring up season five, the mental health breakdown, man. That was intense. And a lot of people felt very connected to that. How was it stepping into that scene for you and that storyline? Because it's pretty powerful.

Thank you. Man, that was cathartic, to be honest. It was I've gone through my own mental health issues as far as like, you know, my own depression and anxiety, and, you know, I was raised in an age where men aren't vulnerable and aren't allowed to show feelings. So that kind of repression is like a ticking time bomb, you know, especially for a person in Eddie's life, or his lifestyle. So to kind of relinquish this boundary of who Ryan is and step into Eddie and just kind of just full-on dive deep into these this well of emotion, it was, it was almost like therapy. It was crazy because, you know, from the second they started to say rolling, it's like my—I started to, you know, start bawling and crying, and when Buck comes in and, you know, he's trying to check in on me and the whole room is just all scattered around and I'm losing it—it's just like there was no semblance of Ryan anymore. It was just all Eddie and he was just lost, and that's what it is.

It's like if I were to look at my son, you know, five year old son, that's kind of what we revert back to is just this child that is just so scared and not having any sense of direction and—or hope that anybody will ever love him or ever see him. And it's just these like, you know, existential fears that come out within those tears, and that was my goal to portray that whole scene and then the scene following it. So to get there was just let go, just let go.

Well, the work you did was clearly honest and raw and vulnerable. You can't fake the work that you did in that. And it was really a powerful man for many people to kind of go through that with you and for people who have had their own experiences. And you're right, like, I'm from an old school Italian family. And, you know, you grow up thinking men don't go through that and men don't show those emotions. So to have that on prime-time TV is huge.

Yeah, I hope that helped out a lot of people. I hope that people were actually able to see that and at least, you know, go to their best guy friend, and, you know, I think that's what really needs to happen. As far as men, we need to lean on each other. You know, women have their own issues and they have their certain way of connecting with each other, but there's a special connection that you can have with your brother. And I give so much credit to quite a few of my personal brothers—including my actual brother—for allowing me to run to them in my moments of need, in my moments of feeling lost. And them, you know, being men themselves, not having to say one thing to me.

Or they can just, you know, if they see me in a moment of, you know, deep into a problem, they have the ability to say, well, here's a solution. And since I'm, you know, of like mind, I can be like, okay, you know what? Thank you for giving me some kind of direction. So yeah, I implore all men out there to kind of at least have one or two in your corner, you know, because we can't get anywhere without community.

Absolutely. What have you most learned about yourself through playing this character for so many years? You know, you joined in season two. It's been a lot of years now under your belt. Have you thought about that? Have you learned anything through playing, Eddie?

I've learned a lot through Eddie. I've learned patience. He's a—you know, he has a sense of patience that I didn't have in the beginning even prior to being a father, you know, and then kids itself, they teach you how to be patient. So, yeah, I've learned how to be there as a father. Kind of oddly enough, it was just living as one onscreen prior to actually being one in real life, it gave me, say, practice. I get to practice on television what I get to implore with my own children. And, you know, even if it's the worst thing for Eddie, you know, and I see him doing something horrible, at least I come back home, like, well, that can't happen. I can't do that with my kids. So, yeah, and in so many ways, it's helped me grow as a man, let alone a father.

That's pretty awesome when you can take things away from your job like that and become a better person. I love that so much. Can you believe you've been on the show for so long now? Do you ever think like, damn, that's not normal. That's the rarity in the business. So is that a cool feeling for you?

Yeah, I literally just had that moment yesterday. We were filming a scene, all of us, the whole cast, and I'm sitting outside—I can't tell you the location, that's going to blow something—I'm sitting outside one of the sets and I just had that moment to myself. I'm like, oh my God, I'm actually here. How did I get so lucky to be on not only just a television show, the number one television show out there, where we're in our seventh season and we're creating numbers that people don't even get in their first season? So again, if there's a moment to tap into, let's get into that gratitude again and just be super thankful that I was lucky enough to land this.

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

That is so cool, and that's why I have no doubt you'll continue having so much success in your career and in your personal life because you keep bringing up gratitude, and it's very evident that's something you lead your life with. And in fact, I saw a recent Instagram post where you give a beautiful tribute to Twitch, and you credit him with being able to form connection with people in your life now and to different things and places, and I thought that was such a beautiful way to show people that you're working on yourself and you're a work in progress and that he helps you kind of open your eyes. So that was a really cool moment for you to also reveal.

Thank you, yeah. Yeah, I believe so much of the world right now is showcasing a polished version of themselves. And to be honest, I did it myself for so long that I've become tired of it, and I would much rather get to the raw—the raw, the unfiltered, the, you know, the mess ups, the, you know—I've stuck my foot in my mouth too many times. I've done, you know, stupid things in my life, and I never want to present myself as a person that does everything great because there's so many things I suck at.

So I think there's an opportunity within that rawness to invite others to become raw themselves, and for us to see that, you know, we're not competing with each other, we're competing with ourself and our own image of ourself and friends like, you know, a brother like, like Twitch, you know, and—not understanding what he was going through and that lack of connectivity that I always, you know, felt but never acted on, which again, I felt imposter syndrome for so long of calling him my brother. It really struck a chord in me and now I can't go backwards. Now I'm propelled forward to be like, is this conversation authentic between us or are we just kind of saying what we have to say just so we can pass on to the next person and create whatever that is? And I'm not here for that. I would much rather have that depth and I'd much rather have that rawness.

Beautifully said and a perfect segue into what I want to finish this conversation with, which is based off the title of the show: I've Never Said This Before. So I'm wondering, is there anything that comes to mind that you want to share today that you've never shared before?

Uh. Huh. Yeah, you know what? I've been thinking about this for so long and there's so many things, you know, that come to mind. One specifically, and I've been hesitant to actually say any of this for so long because, you know, it's been years upon years.

About six and a half, seven years ago—and I've really never said this out loud, especially onto a public platform—I had my own mental health crisis and I tried at one point in time to take my own life. And luckily, it didn't work. Luckily, I got a second chance by the grace of God. And from that moment forward, I've taken each step as an opportunity to erase what got me there and build on what allowed me to live forward. So I would say that that moment itself, in addition to what happened to my brother Twitch, are probably the two biggest fundamental moments of my entire life and have allowed me to have a deeper sense of mercy and empathy towards every individual.

So I would implore that all men renounce this fact of, you know, you're a tough man, you have to hold all this in, but lean on your brother, really lean on your brother. And if your brothers aren't being there in the way they need to be, find some new ones. Because that's another thing, if you don't have the people that are conducive to a healthy lifestyle and you're keeping on to them because of loyalty, let them go. There's plenty of other people. There's people that have been through your situation before that are willing and more than willing, you know, to help. So yeah, that was a big one.

Man, first of all, thank you for sharing something so personal and close to your heart with me today. I feel honored that you did open up and share that. And I'm truly—God, this could be another half hour conversation, so I'll keep it short—but I'm truly grateful that you are spreading that message today for anybody listening because, you know, mental health is a crisis and I think people sometimes look at you, they look at me, they think everything's perfect. We are, you know, in this public space and what can be wrong?

And when you humanize real shit like that, it makes people feel less alone. And you got through it, you realize that wasn't the right way to go about it and your life forever changed for the better, and I'm truly grateful that you put that message out today because you have no idea how many people you're going to be helping with that. And I truly know that that's something that's not easy to get off your chest. And for that, I thank you and I know so many people will be thanking you, and I hope you feel kind of like a little bit of a weight lifted that you share that hopefully.

Yeah, it's kind of hard to understand what I'm feeling at the moment. But I hope in what you said is true. And I hope that, again, I would love to do more for mental health, especially for men, I mean, just in general, to be honest. But yes, I hope that there is a new wave out there that's kind of taking over that we can actually have some cohesiveness and connection, a true understanding of what connection is. Let's revisit that. So this issue isn't a common issue anymore. If we can take that down, then let's do it. I'm here for it.

Beautifully said, and thank you again for sharing that. I could talk to you for hours, especially leaving with that. I think you're such a cool person. And you watch people, I get to talk to people all the time. But this to me was a real conversation, and that's what I value. That's why I have a show called I've Never Said This Before, and I want to talk about the projects that the fans love, but also leave room to talk about things that matter. I don't think there's enough of that. So I truly thank you for hanging out, for coming on, for talking about the fun of 911, which we all love, and it's killing it in every way, but also sharing a little piece of you. I hope you enjoyed the conversation as much as I have.

Thanks for having me, my man. Yeah, I had a great time.

Thank you, and remind everyone where, how, when, all the things about your show.

Yes, please watch Thursdays at 8 on ABC.

All right, and stay tuned for the karaoke scene that you just promised you will be dropping.

Yeah, maybe when I'm fired again.

All right, man, until we meet again, take care.

All right, brother.

#ryan guzman #may 2024 #i've never said this before #transcribed #5.21.24

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fuckyeahisawthat · 11 days ago

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Have a snippet from the mutual pining while fucking scenario, before the fucking actually starts. This is in the early years of the time jump between 1.03 and 1.04.

He notices the red-purple bruise under the hinge of his jaw while he's checking his tie in the mirror. Ah.

He usually insists on no marks in places that can be seen. Not out of shame. Maybe it had started out that way, years ago, but these days he just likes the thrill of having something private, a part of his life no one else can access.

His partners are usually more obedient, but this guy had gotten a bit carried away. And he did have a very nice mouth.

He considers covering it. But then, why should he? He's just going to the lab. Jayce probably won't even notice.

Jayce notices immediately.

Jayce joins him at the lab bench with two cups of tea: a first one for himself, and a fresh one for Viktor, to replace the half-drunk one that's gone cold at his elbow while he tinkered with the Hexgate prototype.

He sees Jayce's gaze track immediately to the bruise, catches the flicker of an urge to touch before he contains it. "Are you okay? You've got--" He can see the pieces fall into place. "Oh! Oh. You were with someone last night."

"It has been known to happen," he says evenly.

"Oh! Hey, no, I mean-- Um. Good for you." He is an assiduous cataloger of Jayce Expressions, and Jayce's face is flicking through a truly astonishing array of them now.

He can't keep staring. The tiny, fiddly screws on the baseplate of the oscillator are a good distraction from whatever continues to happen on Jayce's face.

"So, um..." Jayce starts up again after a minute. "Are you, um...are you into them?" He is also an assiduous cataloger of Jayce Tones of Voice, but this one is indecipherable.

"It's not like that. It's just sex. We didn't even exchange names."

"Oh."

He sneaks a glance out of the corner of his eye at what Jayce's face is doing and that is...also indecipherable.

"Jayce. Surely you know that there are places where this happens."

"I've...never really thought about it before."

Of course he hasn't. Jayce enters a room and all heads turn to him. He's never had to go out of his way to find that kind of attention.

He goes back to focusing on the screws, and after another minute Jayce says, "Do you, um. Do that often?"

He could stop the conversation right here. If he tells Jayce this is none of his business he's sure he will never bring it up again. But...he is an assiduous cataloger of Jayce Tones of Voice. And Jayce's tone isn't judgment or disgust. It's curiosity.

"From time to time," he says. Whenever the skin hunger gets to be more than he can handle, or he can tell it will be the right distraction from pain.

"With strangers." Jayce still seems to be processing this as an unfamiliar concept.

"Yes."

"With men."

He's not quite sure how Jayce made that leap, but why lie? "Yes."

"Is that...safe?"

It's not the question he expected. "I have strategies in place to mitigate the risks."

Always pick men who want him to be in control, who will let him steer the interaction into something he can work with, positions that won't leave his leg screaming the next morning, or, if he's lucky, even betray it as a weakness at all. In the years since he realized that there were people who desired him, he's gotten increasingly good at picking out those kind of men, cultivated a persona that will draw them toward him: haughty, cold, expecting to be served; channeling every rich Piltie who ever looked down their nose at him; sitting draped on a couch in the kind of bar where these things happen, demanding someone go fetch him a drink, of which he will take only a few small sips before suggesting they get out of here. If he can get them interested before they notice the cane he can usually get what he wants.

"Oh," Jayce has said again.

"Is this different from how you thought of me?" Jayce certainly wouldn't be the first, and he wouldn't hold it against him.

"No! I mean, um, I haven't--" Jayce clears his throat abruptly. "Haven't thought of you, um, any...way."

He sneaks a glance at Jayce and he has color high on his cheeks, staring intently at the notes from yesterday's testing that Viktor knows he has already reviewed. Jayce is making a new face, one he's never seen before.

Huh. He'll have to file that away to turn over in his head later.

#arcane #viktor arcane #jayvik #tumblr fic

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mitfloya · 10 months ago

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𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒: 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐘 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄

pairings. Yandere Rafayel x gn!reader

wc. 2k

synopsis. You find yourself lost searching for answers that slip through your grasp. There is a mysterious force that lures you back to the vast depths of the sea, a pull that you can't quite comprehend, a strange connection. It haunts your thoughts, you wanted to find out why does your soul keeps guiding you to ocean.

Only to find the truth that you wish to never uncover.

warnings. The following content contains elements of obsessive behavior, yandere thoughts, stalking, possessive behavior, and may include poorly written narratives. Reader is referred to as 'you'. Proceed with caution, as this writing may be unsettling or uncomfortable for some individuals.

a/n. Hiii, I'm back from the dead, I hope it's good (be gentle with me this is my first fic I've created) or evoke some kind of emotions, whatever it may be. I may have gone a little overboard with everything. This will be a small series, maybe there will be 3 parts or up to 5 parts, depends on my mood. Also, this is my thank you gift for the celebration of hitting another milestone on my c.ai acc ♡

The waves, like gentle giants, rolled towards the shore, their white foamy crests crashing against the rocks with a resounding roar. The sound echoed in your ears. With each surge, the water created intricate patterns, as if painting an ever-changing masterpiece upon the canvas of the beach.

Some crashed against the rocks with a powerful force, while others gently caressed the sand, their touch as gentle as a lover's whisper.

Standing there, your feet were gently lapped by the waves near the shore, your eyes fixated on the vast expanse of the sea, you felt an inexplicable pull, as if there was a profound bond between you and the ocean.

Yet, you couldn't quite comprehend why.

Lost in contemplation, you imagined how the cool waters of the sea would embrace you, enveloping you in their refreshing embrace. It was in these moments that you found solace and tranquility in the presence of nature.

The ebb and flow of the waves became a soothing rhythm that seemed to wash away any worries or troubles that burdened your mind.

Yet, amidst the serenity, there was a sense of familiarity, as if there were fragments of a forgotten memory lurking within your subconscious. Every time you found yourself by the sea or on a sandy beach, a whisper of a memory danced at the edge of your thoughts, just out of reach.

Lost in your thoughts, distant calls of your name went unheard as you drifted into a daze, completely captivated by the sea, you didn't noticed the water has gone up to your knees level. It was only when a familiar hand gripped your wrist, pulling you back from the water, that you snapped out of your daze.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?" His voice rang out, a mix of concern and annoyance. "You were about to walk straight into the deep sea! Do you have any idea how dangerous that could have been?" he exclaimed, gently pulling you back to the safety of the shore.

Startled, your gaze locked with his eyes, a blend of deep purple with delicate speckles of pink. In that moment, you found yourself drowning in the vastness of his gaze, unable to tear your eyes away.

His eyes held a mix of emotions, like a tumultuous sea that you couldn't quite decipher. You couldn't help but wonder if your encounter was more than just a coincidence, if there was a greater significance to the intertwining of your paths. The depths of his gaze seemed to hold the answers, yet they also posed more questions, leaving you both intrigued and captivated.

There was something undeniable about the connection you shared, a magnetic pull that transcended mere concern. In that moment, you realized that his eyes held more than just worry for your safety—they held a glimpse of a deeper connection, an unspoken understanding that seemed to bind you together.

The depth of his concern in the eyes are as clear as day, it momentarily puts you lost at words.

The situation slowly sank in, you realized that you had been so absorbed in your thoughts that you had unconsciously ventured into dangerous waters. The level of danger had escalated beyond what you initially thought, as the water had gradually risen without your awareness.

You blinked, your voice betraying a tinge of guilt as you stammered out. "I… I didn't even realize," you admitted, your words laden with a sense of remorse,. "The ocean… it just pulls me in. I can't explain it." Your eyes darted around, avoiding contact with Rafayel.

He sees the way you looked at the sea, sensing that you were searching for something, perhaps a connection or understanding.

In that fleeting moment, a glimmer of hope momentarily danced across Rafayel's face, as if he believed you had finally recollected something significant to him.

…But as he searched your eyes, that tiny glimmer faded, replaced by a mix of disappointment and frustration.

A deep sigh escaped Rafayel's lips, his eyes rolling with visible exasperation. "Oh, please," he scoffed, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "As if the ocean has some deep, personal connection to you," he muttered dismissively.

The atmosphere grew heavy with an unspoken tension, as Rafayel's words hung in the air. It was clear that he felt let down, hoping for a shared understanding that seemed to elude him once again.

Rafayel's frustration grew evident as he let out an exasperated huff, pushing away his bangs with an irritated sweep of his hand. "Look, we've got enough problems trying to win this damn classroom competition. We don't need you drowning yourself in the process." His head shook slightly, a clear expression of annoyance etched upon his face.

You felt a pang of regret wash over you, seeing the frustration etched on Rafayel's face. "Thanks for being worried, I guess," you mumbled, your tone tinged with a touch of bitterness. He could've said it nicely at the very least, you thought.

Feeling a wave of embarrassment wash over you for nearly getting yourself drowned, you quickly shifted your gaze to the expanse of the ocean stretched out before you.

The colors of the sea danced before your eyes, shifting seamlessly from the vibrant hues of turquoise to the deeper shades of indigo, as if an artist's brush had painted a masterpiece on the water's surface.

You couldn't help but wonder if there was a hidden world beneath the surface. Little did you know, you had been conversing with one of those hidden beings all along.

You noticed Rafayel's hands waving in front of your face, interrupting your oceanic reverie.

"I've heard the locals said that there is a mythical creature who roamed around this water, can you guess what it is?" His voice took on an eerie cadence. His head tilted slightly, as if he was assessing your reaction.

"Legend has it that those who make a pact with this sea creature are granted a special favor," he weave the tale as his gaze were penetrating your skin. "However," he paused, his words dripping with anticipation. "If one were to forget or break their oath, the consequences would be nothing short of catastrophic."

Drawing near, he leaned in, his voice a mere whisper in your ear. "They would face a fate far more harrowing than their most dreadful nightmares could ever conjure." His breath made your skin crawl, leaving behind a trail of goosebumps in its wake.

The tale he spoke of leave you with an eerie sense that there was more to this tale than met the eye. It was as if the threads of the story resonated with a deeper part of your being, stirring emotions and images that had long been dormant.

Yet, you shook off the discomfort, determined not to let Rafayel's words unravel your sense of reality, even as they lingered in your mind, leaving behind a lingering sense of unease.

With a light-hearted push, you nudge him away with your elbow, mustering a witty retort to maintain the casual banter. "Nice try, but I'm not one to fall victim to the legends of mermaids."

Unfazed, Rafayel continues to weave his tale, his voice dripping with a seductive charm. "How so? Don't their enchanting melodies and mysterious allure at least pique your curiosity?"

The weight of his words settled upon you, causing a shiver to ripple through your body. Yet, you maintain your composure, "Well, Rafayel," you taunt, "if mermaids are truly as captivating as you claim, perhaps I should take my chances. Who knows? Maybe I'll be the one to befriend a mermaid."

Oh, you already did and it was more than that.

Your soul remembers him, resonating with a familiarity that defies logic, while your conscious mind grapples with the mystery of who he truly is and where your paths have crossed before.

It's like your souls hold a hidden story, a shared history that teases the edges of your awareness, just beyond your grasp. The unspoken bond that lingers between you cannot be denied, as if your paths are intricately woven together, waiting to be unraveled.

In his presence, you find yourself both anchored and adrift, caught between the intangible and the tangible. The ties that bind you are not of this physical realm, but of a deeper dimension where emotions and memories intertwine like the ebb and flow of the tide.

There is a profound bond between you that goes beyond mere attraction, as if you have shared lifetimes together before.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a golden hue over the water, you and Rafayel became entranced by the moment, surrendering to the breathtaking beauty of the sea.

The scenery sparked a creative fire within you, the gentle dance of the waves mirrored the rhythm of your thoughts, as if the ocean had bestowed upon you the ideal theme for the upcoming classroom decoration competition. It was as if the universe had handed you a vibrant palette, ready to bring your ideas to life.

A smile tugged at the corners of your lips as an idea began to take shape in your mind. "Hey, what if we choose the ocean as our theme? We could create an underwater wonderland, wouldn't that be cool?" you suggested, your voice filled with enthusiasm.

Rafayel eyes widened with surprise, he took a moment to consider the suggestion. "That's actually not bad," he shrugged, his tone casual yet intrigued. "We could use blue and turquoise hues to mimic the ocean's colors, and hang paper jellyfish and other sea creatures from the ceiling. It'll be like stepping into an enchanting underwater realm."

The two of you continued to brainstorm all the way home, ideas flowing like a current, as you imagined transforming your classroom into a captivating oceanic paradise.

As the sounds of crashing waves slowly faded into the distance, replaced by the comforting rhythm of your footsteps, a familiar banter and laughter filled the air. The easy camaraderie between you and Rafayel created a warm and comfortable atmosphere, where the worries of the day seemed to melt away.

Minutes passed by, as if time had lost its grip on the endless conversations and moments of solace shared with Rafayel. He was like a soothing balm for your weary soul, a safe haven where your restless mind could find peace. His presence was like a sanctuary, where the weight of your worries seemed to dissipate into thin air.

Regrettably, the front gate of your house loomed before you, signaling the end of this cherished connection. With a warm smile, you waved goodbye to Rafayel, a bittersweet farewell that left an ache in your heart. "We'll talk more later, see you at school tomorrow!" you called out, hoping to preserve the thread of conversation that had woven its way into your shared journey.

He reciprocated with a smile and a wave, his eyes following you until you disappeared behind the closed door. As the facade he wore crumbled, a torrent of emotions flooded Rafayel's mind the moment you were safely inside. Frustration tightened its grip, as he struggled to understand how something so vital between the two of you could slip from your memory.

However, a twisted sense of satisfaction settled within him, as he relished in the knowledge of your home, a piece of your personal life that he now possessed, fueling a dangerous determination to claim you as his own.

This was never your home, and it would never be, for he had vowed to create a sanctuary where only he could offer you peace and happiness you deserved.

He knew that he had to do more, to make you realize the depth of his feelings. With unwavering resolve, Rafayel promised himself that he would build a world for you, free from any disturbances or distractions.

No one else would have access to this sacred space; it would be an intimate domain that existed solely for him and you.

"Wait for me, my love. I'll show you how much I adore you."

#₊˚ʚ ;༊ a stellar birth #love and deep space #love and deepspace #rafayel love and deepspace #zayne love and deepspace #xavier love and deepspace #l&ds #otome game #yandere rafayel #yandere love and deepspace #yandere rafayel x yn #yandere rafayel x you #yandere rafayel x reader #rafayel x y/n #rafayel x you #rafayel x reader #rafayel #qi yu #dividers by cafekitsune

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penvisions · 7 months ago

Text

gone to the dogs {chapter one}

Pairing: Boston QZ! Joel Miller x F! Reader

Summary: Bared teeth and instincts are all you have to defend yourself while out beyond the walls of the zone. And sometimes, you have Joel Miller, though he's just as apt to turn on you as anyone else.

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical language, canon typical gore, outbreak fic, age gap (only by about ten years), dark fic, dark joel miller, mean joel miller, joel miller is uptight, degrading language, sexual language, sexual proposition, violence, heated interactions, adult language, fighting, references to injuries, blood, one (1) instance of joel miller bashing someone's head in, gun use, gun violence, reader chokes someone out, reader is snarky, reader meets joel toe-to-toe with insults and it's amazing both reader and joel pov, lemme know if there are any i missed!

A/N: this is different by far than anything else i've written and shared. dark joel miller content tends to be so controversial sometimes but i've been wanting to explore this part of his character for quite a while. the reader insert is also far more...robust than any i've written but it's all so exciting! please lemme know what y'all think?

ao3 link || series masterlist || navigation || ko-fi

The tracks are faint, you’re barely able to make them out yourself as you crouch low to the ground and move your hand in the direction they look like they’re headed in.

“Hey, you missed somethin’.”

“The hell you talking about, there ain’t nothin’ to miss.” He’s suddenly hovering over you, his own footfalls silent despite the pain you know he carries in his back and the swagger he has to adapt to not irritate it. He’s shining his flashlight on the imprint you had managed to find among all the dirt and rubble, a barely there scrape in the dirt that could be mistaken for anything. His voice is harsh, degrading in tone as he scoffs at your find. “You didn’t find shit, stop trying to make somethin’ outta nothin’.”

“Yeah and I suppose the marks that look about the same depth and span out in an even trail heading north ain’t shit either, huh?” You ignore the heat of his legs clad in faded and dirt smeared denim far too close for comfort. It would be easy to brush against them if you turned just slightly. Straitening back up to your full height, you don’t step back as you aim your own light over the similar marks that lead down a narrow path between the scattered and broken bricks. “It’s someone’s staggered gait, would bet they twisted their ankle or knee and it’s dragging enough to leave ‘em behind for us. Need to trust the younger pair of eyes we’ve got out here.”

“Don’t mean it’s our guy.” Joel doesn’t budge, ignoring the double whammy insult, head turning back at the hush of wind sweeping between the crumbling buildings. He turns his light off, securing it between his belt and waistband on the back of his hip. You know he knows there’s some truth to your words with how he ignores them. A habit of his you picked up, silence in the wake of begrudging agreement. Never voiced lest someone overhear that he had his moments of amenable tendencies, even if they were very rare and far between.

“Could be.” You insist, you knew what you were doing. You knew how to get the damn job done and if he heeded your words even once, he would realize it could make the situation go a whole lot smoother than it had been. But of course he doesn’t, he’s as stubborn as you are. Something you loathe about the man who had become one of your partners. It was hard to trust him when he didn’t trust you, constantly at odds with the gruff way he insisted he knew better. It was beginning to get on your nerves, the days harder when you had to interact with him in such close proximity.

“Could be isn’t good enough.”

“Do you need a blowjob or something?” You turn slightly to face him, his strong profile highlighted by the dark golden hues of the setting sun.

“Excuse me?" He pinned you with a dark glare, not taking kindly to your question. He’s chest to chest with you now, hard expression aimed down at you as you don’t move an inch. You wouldn’t back down, never had before and wouldn’t now. He may be intimidating, but you were too in your own ways. Hell, the first encounter you had with the man ended up with your knife at his throat and your knee over his crotch.

Him and Tess had been in your apartment, staking out the smuggling ‘competition’ once they had arrived in the Boston zone. Coming home from a rather painful migraine after shoveling ashes of deceased people had been one of the highlights of the day, if such a thing could even be considered that, only to find two strange people rummaging around through your things. Joel hadn’t been prepared for you to turn on him first, thinking he had hidden himself well in the shadow of your door and following it as you slowly closed it behind you.

A warning shot fired off at Tess had her scrambling behind the beat-up couch in the middle of the room while you turned on him. Only after demanding answers from them and getting them from the woman as she crouched behind the furniture, had you backed down from a stoic Joel.

“You heard me. You're pent up and snapping at everyone, need some relief?" Tilting your chin up, you meet his dark gaze head on, smirk pulling your lips up on one side. His eyes dilate just the slightest bit before narrowing, but you caught it and he knows you did. His voice is the deepest you’ve ever heard as he slowly responds with only one syllable.

“No."

"I think you do. Don't think I haven't seen the way your eyes drag down my body when you're walking behind me.” A bold statement, but a true one nonetheless. His eyes were a heavy and heady weight whenever they did exactly what you taunted. The thrill of the older man merely looking at you when he thought you wouldn’t see it perked up your self-esteem in a way you weren’t completely immune to, even in the shambles of what the world had turned into.

"Delusional. you're a delusional little-“

"I’m not a little girl, and you damn well know that." You punch the tip of your pointer finger into his chest, the dirty denim warm from his body heat. He’s a big man with a big reputation and it’s hard not to feel powerful as you obviously found one of the weak spots of his soft underbelly. An attack dog, a guard dog, a rabid dog, they all had one thing in common. They were only as strongest as their weakest point.

And you think you just found his.

The mischief of the unexpected discovery must glint in your eyes because his brows furrow impossibly deeper. The frown lines around his mouth pulling his thick mustache down, though it does nothing to shield the pale pink of his full lips.

He scoffs again, a harsh sound from the depths of his chest. Smacking your hand away from him, he takes off to follow the trail he can see a little better now that you’ve pointed it out.

“Coulda fooled me.”

“Act like you’re hot shit around the zone, only reason people don’t mess with you is cause of me.”

“I was doin’ just fine on my own. Remind me again, who staked out who to scope out the competition?”

“Wouldn't let you touch me if I was at the end of a barrel, and it was my saving grace."

“Fuck off, Miller.” You spit back, unable to rise to his taunt even as you fall in line beside him. That one stung, you had to admit. It was your own stupid fault, for finding him so attractive. From his dark hair threaded with silver to the way he carried a lifetime on his shoulders.

But his attitude muddied it, he was no better than a lot of the men you had run into before reuniting with your brother. The end of the world bringing out the worst in people, just like you had never one to sling insults so harshly or tease people easily a decade older than yourself who could snap your neck with a well-placed grip. Just like you assumed the man Joel had been before all this wouldn’t have even dared to think of talking to a woman with such spite and malice, if his faded accent told you more than he ever would.

The trail ends just at the shattered glass of what was once a revolving door entrance to a skyscraper looms ahead. There’s fresh blood splatter and the bag of supplies stolen from where they had been hidden for you and Joel to pick up. Two shells from a gun lay on the ground beside it, and you quickly grip your handgun to survey the area for the culprit who fired the shots.

Joel holds up two fingers, your attention going to him almost instinctively as he motions for you to crouch and round the left side of what remains of the door and into the building after the drops of blood. His eyes are focused, his full lips a hard line as he nods once to make sure you understand him.

Only looking away once you return the gesture. He turns so his back is to yours and makes sure there’s enough coverage for you both with his own gun at the ready. As quietly as you can manage with what’s still hopefully inside the pack, you pick it up with your free hand and avoid as much glass as possible.

No shots ring out, no bullets lodge themselves into your shoulder or Joel’s, everything is eerily still as you both move in tandem to seek the protection of the building. It seems to be blocked off inside, large pieces of plywood secured over the doors that had once been for elevators. The emergency exit off the right barricaded with all the furniture that once filled the ground floor waiting area.

“Fuckin’ told you it was a trail.” You mumble as the conflict seems to be over, the body of the man who had taken off with your hidden pack behind the front desk. Fresh blood seeping from a gunshot wound to his neck and the bandage wrapped thick around his ankle. You don’t flinch when Joel brushes past you harshly to stomp the bottom of his worn boots into the man’s head or the sick crunch that echoes slightly in the open space. Ensuring he doesn’t turn if he had been infected.

He rounds on you quickly enough to stir your instincts, the fleeting fear of him doing the same to you flaring up and making you take a half step back at the fierce look in his eye. The words he practically growls at you making your heart stutter painfully in your chest, suddenly breathless at the combination.

“Would you shut your fuckin’ mouth before I shut it for you? Tired of hearing that shrill voice all the god damn time.”

You huff, trying to play off the fear as indifference, shoving the bag of supplies at him. He doesn’t move to catch it, allowing it to hit him square in the chest, the pills and bullets contained inside rattling as the entire thing fell to the ground with a thunk.

Joel could only watch as you stalked off without another word, shoulders tense and hands shoved deep in the pockets of your jacket. He had seen the dilation of your eyes, the way your chest had risen with a quick inhale at his intensity. He had scared you.

That was new and he wasn’t sure if he liked it any better than you teasing him about being uptight and needing a little bit of pleasure in his life. An unpleasant lump rises in his throat and he tries to swallow it down.

Frowning, he bends to pick up the fallen pack, shoving it into his own nearly empty one before following after you. The silence that had fallen allows him to pick up the faint sound of labored breathing. But it isn’t coming from you up ahead.

It must’ve registered as a third person in the same instant for you because you’re turning to him with a finger pressed to your lips as you crouch behind a chunk of blasted concrete, gun already in hand. He mirrors you, reflections of each other as you each move around the barrier and take an assessing peak around respective corners.

Another man is laid out a few yards away, upper body slumped heavily on against the tire of a rusted car.

He’s barely alive, his breath rattling in his chest at a timbre that could only signal his impending death. A stark sound he recalls from a time long ago, both painfully fresh and numbed by years of oppression. He blinks the sound away, eyes closed for barely a second before you’re closing the distance with quick and quiet movements. A lunging dog at the sight of a threat. Constantly poised to take out anything that challenged the life you clung to.

It’s a reminder of why he willingly works with you, the way your smaller hands close around the man’s neck and clench. Shoulders displaying the strength you possess even with rationed food and improper amenities for life. If he wasn’t on your side, you would turn those same hands on him without a second thought. You had the first time you had met, when he had willingly gone into the den you had created for yourself in search of answers. In search of the name people gave when asked about who had the most knowledge on how to sneak out of the zone he now resides in.

He watches as you pick the man’s corpse clean, ration cards going in your pocket that he doesn’t think to demand a fair share of. Of the gun you hold out to him in silent offer.

No words are exchanged as you lead him back to the perimeter of the zone as the sun dips completely below the horizon. Moonlight illuminating your body effortlessly slinking and squeezing into places you had picked out that would allow for him to do the same with little trouble. You knew the operations of the zone, hell you probably were the reason some of them were orchestrated the way they were. The fear he had seen in you may have been fleeting, a response that allowed you to recognize the threat he could pose to you as well, but the way he admired your will to survive was not.

You only stay at his side long enough to relay the run to Tess, who had stayed behind and worked to ensure an alibi for you both. Signing your names and hers with one of the soldiers who traded with you on the roster in a perfect imitation of keeping up appearances for the demanded duties of all that reside in the zone. The ration cards slid into your back pocket are handed off to the older woman, no words or sounds coming from you before you slink out the door to their shared excuse of an apartment and down the hall to yours.

But he knew better than to think it was with wounded pride and your tail tucked between your legs, because he could hear the way you moved about your own space through the thin walls as if it had just been another day. Tess is watching him as his head tilts where he slumps on the couch, ears following the shuffle of your steps and the sound of clinking as you go about your own business. When he turns to meet her gaze, it’s unreadable but she doesn’t ask the reason for his short run down of what happened or the silence you had fallen into.

next chapter

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pamwritessometimes · 11 days ago

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Tuesday’s Gone — Chapter 9

Russell Shaw x Reader

Summary: When the police does little to no help to find your missing daughter, you are forced to contact Colter Shaw. What you don’t expect is how his investigation will reveal secrets about both your past and your daughter’s, in ways you never imagined.

Warnings: angsty SMUT (MDNI), some fluff, domestic Russell deserves a warning, VW Beetle-shaming (yep, it’s real)

A/N: Hey, loves. I know I've been pretty absent here, and just a little fyi; my lack of responses aren't coming from a place of ignorance. I’ve been grappling with my mental health for a while now, and right now, I'm at the bottom of the rollercoaster. But don’t worry, I’m working my way back up, just like any sane person would do: with dying my hair red. No, seriously. I’m writing this with red dye in my hair. Alright, jokes aside, I really am getting there, bit by bit. Also, I'll get to reply to everyone eventually. Thank you for your patience, ily all!! 🤍💖

A/N 2.0: Oh, btw, we’re here, folks! Jumping (almost) straight into the smut. Hope you’re ready to enjoy every steamy minute of it – because trust me, it’s a bit on the longer side. Enjoy! 😏

Title’s based on Tuesday’s Gone by Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Catch up on Chapter 8 here

Tuesday's Gone masterlist

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The morning sun beamed in through the living room curtains, casting long stripes of light on the floor carpet as you stood, nervously drumming with your leg. It was Emma’s first day back at kindergarten since the whole kidnapping ordeal – an event you now refer to simply as “the Rourke incident.” You weren’t entirely sure she was ready, but her psychiatrist, who’d been meeting with her twice a week, had insisted it was best to get her back to normal life as soon as possible.

Two months. That’s how long it had been since everything went sideways, and since Russell had worked his way back into your life. Healing had been slow, but definitely steady.

“Come on!” Russell’s irritated voice cut through the quiet. He was out in the yard, wrestling with your car, which had apparently chosen today to stage a rebellion by refusing to start. Emma, already anxious about facing her mates again after so much time away, didn’t need this kind of drama. Neither did you, to be frank.

You glanced down at yourself for the hundredth time, brushing nonexistent lint off your blazer. It had been ages since you’d worn anything like this – at least it felt like it. The kind of outfit that screamed Yes, I’m totally put together, even if you weren’t quite there yet.

Your first day back at work as a project manager after everything. Two months of juggling nightmares, therapy appointments, and figuring out how to co-parent with Russell, who, by the way, had unofficially moved into your house, claiming the couch, meaning, he ditched whatever motel he was residing in before. To be fair, you were the one to offer it to him. He was practically living here 24/7 anyway.

At least this wasn’t a real workday, not yet. Just a soft launch. Your boss, who’d been more than understanding (hard not to be when your life-or-death situation made the news), suggested you start with half-days for the next two weeks. A gentle easing back into the chaos, he called it.

You called it a godsend and said yes before he could change his mind.

Today wasn’t about deadlines or meetings. It was about relearning what normal was supposed to feel like.

And this morning was serving up all the normal it could muster.

“Is it ready yet?” you called through the open window, your tone between hopeful and pleading.

Russell stood up from under the hood, wiping his hands on a rag that must have been white once. A streak of grease marked his jaw.

“Almost there” he muttered. “Damn thing’s stubborn as a mule.”

“Stubborn like its mechanic” you quipped, earning yourself a mock glare. He ducked back under the hood, muttering something you didn’t catch but hearing the faint chuckle at the end.

Emma darted into the living room, her ridicolously huge backpack bouncing on her shoulders.

“Are we going to be late?” she asked and you could hear the worry in her voice.

“Nope, Daddy’s got it handled” you said, channeling every ounce of fake confidence you had.

Truthfully, you didn’t want to be late either.

“Alright” Russell called, slamming the hood shut. “She’s good to go.”

He shot you a thumbs-up before opening the driver’s door and sliding in to test the ignition. The engine roared to life and you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.

“See? Told you” you said to Emma, giving her a quick hug before letting her scramble into the backseat. You followed suit, sliding into the front passenger seat.

“I still don’t get why we couldn’t just take my car” he said, nodding toward his Chevy parked smugly beside your Beetle. “And honestly, I look ridiculous in this chick-jalopy.”

You raised an eyebrow, feigning offence.

“First of all, it’s not a chick-jalopy. It’s reliable, it’s efficient, and Emma loves it. Also, it’s cute,” you said, punctuating your point by wiping the grease off his jaw with a tissue.

“Cute, my a–”

He caught himself just in time.

Emma groaned dramatically from the back. “Can we please go? I don’t wanna be late!”

“Alright, boss lady. Bubble Buggy, away!” Russell declared, throwing the car into gear and earning a playful glare from you.

And with that, your little circus hit the road.

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The drop-off went surprisingly well. Emma, clutching her Veterinarian Barbie, marched into the classroom with a nervous determination that made your chest swell with pride. Russell had insisted on coming along, too – not that you were surprised. He’d been a constant in her life these past couple of months, and Emma seemed to soak up his presence like a little sunflower.

As the three of you walked toward the building, you bent down and pulled her into a quick hug, whispering a few last words of encouragement. She nodded solemnly, then turned and practically cannonballed into Russell’s arms.

Watching her cling to him so naturally still took you by surprise.

You never doubted she’d warm up to him – he was her dad, after all. A figure she always asked about, a figure she always wanted. But the way Russell stepped into the role, like he’d been waiting his whole life for this chance? That was something you hadn’t expected. The man who once seemed allergic to responsibility was now the same man who played Barbies, kissed Emma’s scraped knees better, and read her bedtime stories in silly voices that always made her giggle. He didn’t let her leave the house without one of his big bear hugs, and she never wanted to. It was a version of Russell you hadn’t dared to imagine… but here he was, proving you wrong every damn day.

She lingered in his arms for just a second longer, her hands clutching at his shirt.

“You’re gonna crush it, bug” he murmured, his voice soft.

With a reluctant nod, she finally let go, her sense of duty overriding her nerves. She turned and headed inside, her tiny figure disappearing into the colorful chaos of the kindergarten room.

You and Russell stood in the doorway for a moment longer, watching her find her seat. She looked so small, dwarfed by the bright kiddy decorations and the chatter of her mates.

But before you could get too worried, her friends appeared like little magnets, pulling her into a circle of excited hugs. You saw her freeze for half a second, clearly not expecting the ambush, but then she smiled. That big, glowing smile that could light up a whole city block.

“She’s tougher than we give her credit for” Russell said, a touch of pride in his voice.

“She gets it from me” you teased lightly, though your throat tightened as you said it. You yourself didn’t quite believe it.

He chuckled with a warm and familiar sound. “Yeah, that tracks.”

His hand brushed yours as you both turned to leave, and you didn’t pull away.

“Come on” he said with a lopsided grin, tilting his head toward the exit. “I’ve got one more girl to drop off.”

He took your hand in yours and guided you back toward your “Tiara Taxi”. You wondered how many goddamn names he could come up with for that poor car.

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By the time you got home, the house felt… off. Too quiet, to be more precise. You weren’t used to not hearing Emma’s chatter bouncing off the walls.

Kicking off your heels by the door, you loosened your blazer and rolled your shoulders, trying to shake off the weight of the day. The tension melted a little when you spotted Russell in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with a mug of coffee in hand. He was freshly showered, his hair still slightly damp, wearing jeans and that old Cream T-shirt, the one he wore the day you met him at the diner you used to work at. It had more holes than fabric now, but somehow it made him look maddeningly hot.

“How’d it go?” he asked.

“It was… bearable” you said, reaching for the coffee pot. “Everyone at work looked at me like I was a ghost. Honestly, I felt like one. Meanwhile, I’m pretty sure Emma handled her first day better than I handled mine.”

Pouring yourself a cup, you moved to stand beside him, close enough to share the space but not enough to touch.

“Thanks for fixing the car this morning” you said, giving him a quick sidelong glance. “I can’t even imagine the meltdown we’d have had if we’d been late.”

He grinned, his eyes staying on you a beat too long, despite the teasing tone in his voice.

“I’ll fix that Cupcake Cruiser anytime.”

And there it was again – that unspoken something that had been simmering between you two for weeks. It filled the space between every casual brush of your arms, every shared smirk. Ever since that kiss, the tension had been building, stopping only at the occasional soft kisses, lingering touches, or the way his hand would find yours without a word.

You weren’t imagining it, and you definitely weren’t immune to it. If anything, it was getting harder to pretend it wasn’t there.

“I should change” you said, your voice a little shaky as you pointed vaguely at your blazer, like that was the problem.

“You look good” he blurted out, almost before he realized it. His ears went red, but he didn’t backpedal. “I mean… you always look good, but this… this is…” His gaze slid over you like he was taking in a masterpiece, and your pulse picked up in response.

“Russ…” you started, but he took a step closer. Close enough that you could feel the warmth radiating off him like a furnace.

“Tell me if I’m crossing a line” he murmured, his voice rougher than usual, like it took everything he had to keep it calm.

“You’re not” you whispered.

That was all the permission he needed. His hands slid around your waist, tentative at first, like he was afraid you might pull away. But when you didn’t, he closed the gap between you, kissing you like a madman. It was urgent, messy, and desperate, the kind of kiss that made you forget where you were or what you were supposed to be doing.

It was frantic and just so different from the soft kisses before.

His hands slid up your back, pulling you as close as your bodies physically allowed and you found yourself clutching at his tee like you might fall if you didn’t hold on. Your coffee, long forgotten, sat cold on the counter behind you, watching the scene unfold silently.

He pulled away just long enough to rest his forehead against yours, breath coming in ragged gasps. His highly delirious eyes searched yours, silently asking if you felt it too, the same thing pulsing between you two.

You did.

You felt it in your bones, and it was undeniable.

Without a word, he kissed you again, but this time, slower, more like he had all the time in the world. He took his sweet time, as if he needed to rediscover every inch of you, like he’d forgotten and now had to make up for lost time. His hands drifted to your waist, your back, tangled in your hair, touching you like you were the only thing that existed in that moment.

And for him, you kind of were.

Before you knew it, you were in the bedroom, your blazer tossed somewhere on the floor along with his t-shirt. The rest of your clothes followed in a blur of fumbling hands and breathless laughter, the weight of the past two months – and the years before that – melting away with every touch.

When he finally had you beneath him, his gaze softened, the intensity giving way to something deeper. “Are you sure?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

You nodded, your hands cupping his face. “I’m sure.”

He looked down at you, his long hair brushing your face as you pulled him closer, bringing his lips to yours again. This time, the kiss was a promise: one that said you were sure, you wanted him just as much as he wanted you.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, now your barely clothed heat just two thin fabrics away from the place where it wants to be – given you both were only in your underwear by then.

He groaned in response, his hands gripping your thighs, stopping you from rubbing yourself against his erection.

“I’ll cream in my boxers if you keep this up.”

You giggled and popped yourself on your elbows. “I’d rather have you cream somewhere else” you said with a mischievous grin.

His laughter was sudden and rich, the kind that came straight from his chest. It was a sound of pure joy and disbelief.

So she’s still freaky, he mentally remarked in delight.

“God, I love you” he murmured, the words spilling out before he even realized he’d said them. He didn’t pause to dwell on his unplanned confession – he kissed you once more, but this time his hand slid to the back of your bra. It took a few clumsy tries, but when it finally gave way, he pushed the lace off your shoulders, letting it fall somewhere forgotten at the edge of the bed.

He pulled away from your lips, taking a moment to admire the view of your perky breasts, the cool air from the AC making your nipples harden from the breeze.

Perfect, just like he remembered.

Without hesitation, he leaned in, pressing soft kisses along the valley of your chest before suckling each nipple, his hand gently massaging the other. The warm, teasing pressure of his mouth sent a shiver through you, drawing out a chorus of soft moans, going straight into his now desperately hard cock, unconsciously rubbing it against the sheets.

Once his mouth had given one of your nipples the attention it deserved, he moved to the other, murmuring, “So soft.”

As your fingers brushed over familiar lines and curves, memories came rushing back like you’d just pressed play on a reel. Your palms glided over his firm chest and carved torso, stopping at the edge of his waistband. The fabric clung to his hips, daring you to go further.

It was surprisingly easy to recollect your memories about the details of him – you could still map the old scars you knew by heart (though there were new ones now), the freckles on his shoulder and chest, the little imperfections of his body you used to love all those years ago.

You seemed even more fascinated by them now.

Soft grunts and groans slipped from his lips as he felt your hands slip into his underwear. The hardness of his dick against your palm sent a rush of wildfire through your veins, feeling how much he still wanted you.

Needed you, really.

But he grabbed your hand, stopping its slow movements over his member.

“Not yet” he murmured, and though it took all his willpower, he pulled your hands out of his underwear, just to lift his head from your chest to start a slow, deliberate trail of wet kisses down your torso. Each kiss felt like a secret he was telling only your skin, moving lower and lower, until he reached the curve of your abdomen.

He paused there, pressing his lips to the spot where your lace panties met your silky skin.

His hands slid down to your hips, his thumbs tracing slow circles over the delicate lace. He glanced up at you, his green eyes still searching for reassurance that you were still on-board with all of this.

You absolutely were.

When the lace finally hit the floor and joined the growing heap of clothes, he didn’t dive right in. Instead, he paused to just look at you, his gaze so intense it made you feel both vulnerable and powerful at once. He was looking at you like you were something sacred.

You couldn’t help it, your mind wandered. Your body wasn’t the same as it had been four years ago, not after the pregnancy. And even though you tried to push the thought away, a flicker of self-doubt crept in. Would he notice? Would it matter?

“God, you’re beautiful” he mumbled, as if reading your mind, before leaning in to press his lips against the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. “Most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen” he added, and the sincerity in his voice sent a flush straight to your weeping pussy, soaking the sheets beneath you. He noticed, loving the effect he had on you. And the best part is: he meant every word. “Nobody compares… nobody.”

His hands stayed firm on your hips, holding you steady as he left a trail of kisses that edged closer and closer to your slick center.

Toe-curlingly teasing.

“Fuck– Russ” you gasped, your hands tangling in his hair as his lips finally found the spot where you were aching for him most.

His tongue danced around your folds, barely using any pressure at first, licking long stripes just to drive you even wilder. He kept up the slow, teasing pace, looking up at your soft features, until he was sure he’d made you wait long enough. His hands gripped your bent legs, holding you in place, making sure you weren’t going anywhere – not like going away crossed your mind.

“You taste so sweet, baby. Just like I remembered” he murmured, lapping lustfully at your lips.

Your needy, swollen clit ached for his mouth, his touch, anything, really, and it’s just like he heard its plea, he guided his lips to your sensitive bundle of nerves, sucking on it gently. The moan that slipped from your lips was louder than you meant it to be, but Russell didn’t seem to care. In fact, if his smirk was anything to go by, he seemed to love it, and just felt even more encouraged to be more and more daring. Bolder. Hungrier.

He devoured you like you were the finest meal he’d ever had, like he’d been starving for years and you were the only thing that could satisfy him.

And just when you thought you couldn’t take it anymore, your body trembling on the precipice, he looked up at you, his face was flushed, his swollen lips and trimmed stubble glistening with your essence, looking absolutely, insanely, unbelievably hot.

"Come on, sweetheart" he murmured against your skin with a voice both rough and encouraging, like he needed this just as much as you did. "Be a good girl and let go f’me."

To help you get over the edge, he slipped one finger inside of you, plunging it in and out of your sloppy hole at a delicious pace.

And just like that, with one final, perfectly timed and placed flick of his tongue, you came undone. Your whole body went taut, and the world blurred for a moment as a white-hot wave of bliss crashed over you and you came over his face. You didn’t have any time to overthink it, be embarrassed about it, since he didn’t stop lapping at your juices, nor the vigorous fingering of your pussy.

He continued until you had nothing more to give, easing you back down with gentle kisses and slowly decreasing strokes. With his tongue still on your sensitive lips, you slowly floated back to reality.

When your eyes finally fluttered open, he was hovering above you.

You could see his expression was somewhere between boyish pride and unshakable devotion.

“Still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen” he said, brushing a strand of hair from your damp forehead. “I love seeing you coming undone because of me.”

You were still catching your breath, panting heavily, but you managed to kneel on the bed in front of him. “Let me…”

“No” His hands gently brushed yours away from his waistband, and for a moment, your heart sank.

Did he change his mind? Or worse – did he not want you to please him the way he’d just please you?

Sensing the hurricane of self-doubt flicker across your face, he leaned in with a soft, reassuring smile. “I want this to be about you. Last time… we didn’t exactly finish properly because–”

His words trailed off, but you both knew what he meant. Your last time together more than four years ago…. when that man broke into your home. The gunshot. The way you’d panicked and pushed him away afterward. It was a night neither of you could forget, no matter how much you tried.

“I just… want to make it up to you” he confessed. “For that night. For everything after.”

You felt the weight of his words, the sincerity in his eyes, and the softness in his touch. It wasn’t just about physical pleasure – it was about the things left unsaid, the things neither of you had been able to fix in the aftermath.

You reached up, your fingers tracing the line of his jaw as your eyes locked.

“You don’t have to make anything up” you said softly, your words brushing against his lips. “You’re here now. You showed up when it mattered. That’s enough.”

You kissed him, slow and sure, letting him feel every bit of what you meant. The taste of yourself on his lips just fueled the intensity of the moment. Your hands slid back to his boxers, giving the waistband a playful tug. “Now…” you said with a small smirk “let’s get rid of these before I lose my patience.”

He smiled, swallowing a chuckle, before helping you with the rest. His cock sprang free, standing tall and proud against his stomach. The girth and the delicious pattern of veins still managed to take your breath away.

You could still remember how he felt, how he tasted…

As his underwear hit the floor, you both knelt on the bed, your eyes locked before flicking down to his pre-cum-soaked erection.

“Jesus fuck” you exhaled, mouth watering, your hands skimming his waist, summoning the courage to take what you needed.

You wrapped your hand around the base, his member instantly reacting to your touch, accompanied by another strangled moan from his lips. He let you stroke him a little, his breath hitching, before he managed to ask, “Are you still on birth control?”

You froze mid-motion, caught off guard.

“Uh, no” you admitted. “Didn’t exactly work out last time, did it?” you added with a wry smile. It stung a little to say, but it was true. And honestly, you wouldn’t change a thing – not when it meant having Emma.

Russell caught the flicker of bittersweetness in your eyes, his own softening as he started to say, “I’ve got a–“

“Bottom drawer, right side” you cut him off with a smirk, tilting your head toward the nightstand.

A laugh rumbled in his chest as he leaned back, grabbing what he needed.

“You really are always two steps ahead, huh?” he teased, his grin widening as he slipped on the condom.

He was hovering above you, eyes locked, and yet somehow it felt like he was on the other side of the planet.

“Are you… really, absolutely sure?” he asked, his voice a mix of doubt and desperation.

You couldn’t help but giggle again. “Stop asking, Russ. Stop second-guessing yourself.”

He smiled softly at your words and guided himself towards your slick core, the tip already nudging at your entrance. He looked down at you, giving you one last chance to back off before he let himself give in to the desire that’s been building up in him for months now.

You nodded softly, granting him any permission he’d ever asked for. He took a shaky breath, bracing himself for what was about to come.

Then, he eased himself in.

The intrusion was both foreign and familiar at first. He was only half-way in, but he already felt you getting tighter and tighter.

“S’okay, sweetheart. I’ll go slow” he murmured as he soothed your skin on your thighs.

The slick from your previous orgasm helped him bottom out slowly but surely, and once he was fully seated, he let out a long, throaty moan. He stilled for a moment, eyes shut, grabbing into your bent thighs to steady himself.

“Missed you s’much… missed this…” he whispered. “Thought I’d never–“

The words died on his lips.

The rawness of his voice, the desperation, the way he said those words with so much honesty and regret, clutched your heart. You knew he meant it, you knew how much he had been hurting – just like you. But you also couldn't help but feel just as guilty. Most of his pain was caused by you, the way you handled things, the way you’d pushed him away when things got tough, the way you’d shut him out… It was all your doing, just as much as it was his.

Not being able to take the weight of it, you gently cupped his face, guiding him back to look at you.

You looked at him like you were about to say something that weighed on your shoulders for long, something that’ll change everything between the both of you. He sensed it, green irises burning into yours, waiting.

“I love you, too, Russ” you whispered, voice tight with emotion, afraid he might not have heard you right by the look on his face. “I love you” you repeated, louder this time, as if to make sure it was clear, and by the feeling of his cock twitching inside of you, he heard it loud and perfectly clear.

“And I missed you, too” you added.

That was it. That was all he needed to hear. His hips began to move as his lips elicited soft grunts and moans, his hands still holding on to your thighs, bruisingly tight.

“God, sweetheart. Say it–” he grunted, burying himself inside of you, his tip brushing against your deepest parts. “Say it again.”

“I love you, Russell. I think I never really stopped.”

It did it to him. He dived into you like a man on a mission. The tenderness was still there, yet he gave way to something more primal, something almost bestial.

Squelching, lewd noises and moans filled the otherwise quiet room. The pace he was setting wasn’t necessarily brutal, but the way he slammed into you with such precision was almost too perfect to handle.

Your otherwise sensitive bundle of nerves screamed as he slipped his thumb on them, applying just the right amount of pressure.

You could feel how close you were. Hell, he could feel how close you were. The way your walls tightened and how you could barely hold your moans were a pretty good indication of what was about to come. Literally.

“Fuck- Russ” you moaned as he began to increase the pace of his thrusts, his fingers still rubbing on your clit.

“I know…” he panted, “I know… I’m- I’m getting close, too. But I need to feel you comin’ around me, sweetheart. You can let go, baby. Then I’ll fill you up good.”

His own voice was strangled, barely holding on, but the urge to make you reach it first was still stronger.

“Let go f’me, pretty girl” he instructed, rubbing your clit just a bit harder.

The coil finally snapped in your stomach, feeling a sensation you can’t quite remember when you had last.

“There you go. Such a good girl. Such a perfect girl. God, how I love it when you do this” he moaned and felt his cock twitch buried deep in your velvety walls. He looked down at your joint bodies and saw his dick laced with your essence, forming a creamy ring at the base. The sight itself was the thing to push over the edge.

He came with a groan, burying himself inside of you, his thighs and body going taut while he tried not to collapse on top of you. His member was suffocating in the confines of the condom, his seed still loading the rubber.

He didn’t want to move. Neither did you. The only sound of the room was your tangled breaths and the intense pounding of your hearts. He let himself lower himself once his eyes dared to creak open, finding your eyes still busking in the afterglow.

“Are you okay? Was I too rough? Didn’t I—”

You cut him off with a gentle, breathless laugh, fingers brushing his chest as you tried to make sense of the way your heart was pounding, both from the intensity of the moment and the unexpected peace that followed it.

“Russ… I’m okay. Great, actually” You smiled, your voice soft.

His brow furrowed slightly, a flicker of relief flashing through his eyes, followed by that familiar teasing grin. “Huh… You got me worried a bit. I’ve got worried it was post-but clarity on your face.”

“No post-nut clarity here. Just... clarity”

He smiled softly at that, then slowly pulled out of you and removed the piece of plastic, tossing it into the bin.

For a moment, he just froze, unsure of what to do next. Would it be too much to hold you? Was that stepping into too much territory?

You gave him a sleepy, amused look. “Come on” you mumbled, your voice low and slightly hoarse. “You’ve just fucked the wind out of me. You think I’d kick you out of my bed afterward?”

He laughed, the tension easing out of his shoulders. "Fair point. I just… wasn’t sure if you’d want me to stay.”

You shifted a little, making space for him beside you, your gaze soft. “Of course I do”

And so, you both just lay there. The room was quiet, the only sound your breaths slowly syncing. The space between you felt right, like it had always belonged to both of you, and the warmth of his body next to yours felt oddly familiar. Like it had always been meant to be this way.

You stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, the rhythm of each other’s breath comforting. And for the first time in a long while, you allowed yourself to just be. Because you wasted way too much time already, and you won’t make the same mistake twice.

So, it was just you, and it was just him, and the world felt right again.

This was home.

Then, your phone’s alarm went off, pulling you back to reality with an almost comical jolt. You groaned softly, smiling faintly at the disruption. You climbed out of bed, the soft tug of the sheets falling off your body as you rose. “Come on” you said with a small smile. “We have to pick up our daughter.”

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Next on Tuesday's Gone (Sneak Peek from Chapter 10, aka the Epologue)

The building the dog was charging toward was a big, brick beauty, with towering windows and a brand-new sign hanging proudly above the door. It was the final product of an ongoing battle of bad brewery name ideas between you and Russell.

You’d pitched some real gems like Hop Notch Brewery, Sweet Foam Idaho, and Shawbusiness. You also reminded him of your previous, brilliant suggestions. You were obviously just having fun, knowing it was Russell’s dream project.

“I’m just trying to help!” you exclaimed playfully.

But still – Shawstopper was practically genius, right?

He, of course, was more into traditional names like Shaw & Co Brewery or Shawcraft.

But then… you pitched the one name that made him crack. One that he absolutely hated. Hated it so much that, for some bizarre reason, he thought it was twistedly brilliant. So, here you were, standing beneath the freshly hung sign above the front door of…

“Shawshank Brewdemption” Emma read out loud, brows furrowed. “I don’t understand!”

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They’re home. It feels so good to finally say that. I can’t wait to share the last chapter with you all soon.

And of course, happy holidays to everyone!

xx Pam

Read Chapter 10 here

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