#frat!joe burrow

[lushlovers]

frat joe with drunken confessions definitely !!!!

Drunk Promises, J Burrow

summary; joe being absolutely gone and rambling about things he shouldn't.

warnings; swearing, kisses, mentions of drinking, drunken rambling

word count; 700 something

note; i'm so bored and tired but i can't sleep so i decided to fulfill this request while i have some downtime:)) also hey?? Its been like a million years, more frat joe coming soon;)!

The porch is spinning and Joe swears he sees three different door knobs after he's struggled with only you to help him drag his heavy limbs around. He attempts to reach for one of them but misses, swishing his hand around before he finds it to unlock and shove the door open. You mumble every swear that comes to mind when it slams into the rubber stopper on the wall, surely waking up everyone in the house and a few houses down, "Welcome to my humble abode, gorgeous," he smirks, stumbling into the wall, trying to play off the fact that he nearly fell over by leaning on it with arms crossed over his broad chest.

When your eyes meet him, his brows raise playfully. At this point it's taking everything out of you not to bust out laughing at his advancements, he's not one for compliments unless he's high as hell or drunk out of his mind, "I've been here more times than I can count, but thank you," you shake your head as you unstrapped your heels, leaving them to rest on the shoe rack.

After he'd struggled as much coming up the front steps, you're thanking God he chose the bedroom on the ground floor rather than up or downstairs. "To my bed then," he asks hopeful as all hell and you nod, taking his hands and leading him straight to his bed. He falls back onto it slowly scooting himself toward the headboard.

Quickly you bolt to the kitchen in search of hangover relief and some water before he gets any stupid ideas whilst left alone. Upon your return, you're greeted by a shirtless Joe who's struggling to get his jeans from around his ankles. Shaking your head for the thousandth time, you tug them off, discarding them in the hamper in the closet. "Eager for me?" You scoff at the ever-deepening of his voice and allow him to unzip your dress.

When his hands swiftly push the fabric from your shoulder, "Not tonight, Joey. Why don't you get some sleep" you step back and he continues attempting to pull you back into him. Joe watches intently as you find one of his LSU shirts folded atop his dresser, give it a smell test, and climb into bed beside him.

"Pathetic excuse for panties," he mumbles through hiccups, using his index finger to snap the elastic against the meat of your hip. You roll your eyes and as you inch away from him his arms wrap even tighter around you, keeping you plastered into him. He grinds his hard-on into the back of your thigh holding onto your hips moving you only where he sees fit.

"Sleep, Joseph," you murmur against his pillows but of course, he's relentless with his wet, sloppy neck kisses. This time you sit completely in bed, snatch the pillows from behind your head and throw them onto the floor. You fumble in the dark for the throw blankets at the foot of his bed, once you've found them you make your spot on the floor, but before you even put the pillows into position he's mumbling and hiccupping through protests.

"mmmm, baby noo, get up here with me. I sleep a bajillion times better with your body next to mine," when you meet his eyes they're glazed over, almost like he wants to cry but is fighting it with every fiber of his being. You're quite shocked, never has this man ever cried in your presence and for that to happen right here, right now, wouldn't shock you with the way he's been acting since his third drink. "And you're drunk, I don't want you to do or say something you'll regret, honey."

He's melting internally at your use of that sweet little nickname you love to use when he's been drinking, "I'll be quiet about all that, mama, I promise" You sigh, and give in as soon as a pout begins to show itself on his pretty, perfect face, picking up your stuff off the floor just as fast as you had put them down. Before you're even back into his bed, he's giggling and scooting over to leave much more space than you need to keep his promise.

[real10jay]

burreauxcore ?

[joeshiestyslover]

fed up

pairing: lsu!fratboy!joe burrow x lsu!softballplayer!reader

summary: you and joe constantly bicker about anything and everything, but you take it just a little too far, and joe is anything but happy

warnings: language, drinking, mentions of weed, joe is an asshole, smut, oral (f+m receiving), fingering, p in v action, slight degradation and praise, some pillowtalk 

lowercase intended

masterlist

the moment you met joe you couldn’t stand him. he was extremely cocky and walked around thinking he was hot shit.

every interaction the both of you have is anything but pleasant. he constantly shits on the fact that you play softball for lsu, him saying that nobody cares about the sport. you know he’s always bluffing when he says this because he shows up to every single game, even if it’s only to check out your teammates in their uniforms.

after your practice, your teammate, nat, walks up to you in the dugout. “hey y/n!” “hey nat what’s up?” you ask her as you stuff your mitt into your bag. “you know how i’m seeing that guy on the football team, justin?” “yes i remember. why do you ask?” “well, he invited me to this party tomorrow, but i really don’t wanna go alone. so-“ you cut her off, “you want me to go with you.” “if you want to, you totally don’t have to.” she quickly tells you. “don’t worry nat, i’ll go with you.” you laugh a bit at her nervousness. “thank you so much y/n! i’ll meet you at your dorm at 8 okay?” “sounds good nat.” you swing your bag over your shoulder and begin to walk out of the dugout. “okay perfect. thanks again!” she yells at you, walking away.

the next night, you’re getting ready for the party when your roommate, harmony, speaks up. “what’re you getting all dressed up for?” she asks you. you forgot you never told her about the party because you usually fall straight asleep whenever you get home from practice. “oh i forgot to tell you, i’m going to a party with one of my teammates tonight.” “wait. joe’s party?” she asks you, knowing how much you hate the football player. “it’s joe’s party?!”, you ask. nat never told you that joe was the one hosting the party. “yeah he hosts a party every friday. i thought you knew that.” “do you really think i keep up with that asshole?” you ask her. “i’m just saying i thought you did, but anyway, good luck y/n. you’re gonna need it.” “thanks harmony.” you turn back to your mirror to finish your makeup.

at exactly 8 o’clock, you hear nat knock on your door. putting your earrings in you open your door to find her in a black, skintight minidress with red bottom heels. “wow, y/n, you look hot!” you check yourself out in the mirror, “you think?” you ask her. “fuck yeah, you look great. you ready to go?” “yeah, i’m ready, but quick question: who’s party is this?” you ask, already knowing the answer. “ummm it’s joe’s.” she tells you, not able to look you in the eyes. “i’m so sorry i didn’t tell you, but i knew that if i told you who was hosting, then you wouldn’t wanna go.” nat rambles. “it’s okay. i’m not gonna let that dick ruin my night. i’m sure there’ll be a bunch of people there, i can just avoid him.” you tell her. “yeah you’re right.” she nods. “then let’s go.” you grab her hand and lead her out of your dorm.

you and nat arrive at the frat house, and you can hear the music blasting from inside. you walk in and are immediately overwhelmed by the smell of sweat and weed. “justin!” you hear nat say, and you look to your left and spot justin and ja’marr walking towards the both of you. you are actually fond of both of the football players, mainly because they are nothing like joe. “hey nat!” justin greeted her with a hug while you greeted ja’marr. “hey y/n! i’m surprised to see you here, considering a certain quarterback is here.” ja’marr tells you. “please, i am not scared of him, if anything he’s scared of me.” you scoff. “let’s go get a drink.” nat grabs your wrist and pulls you into to the kitchen. 

as you’re pouring yourself a drink from the punch bowl, you hear a familiar voice nearby. “bro it was fucking crazy, she literally had her legs wrapped around my head. that’s some contortionist shit.” you look around you before you see the 6’4, misogynistic jackass standing to your right with a red solo cup in his hand talking to someone you assume is one of his teammates. even though you hate him, you’re not blind, it’s obvious he’s hot as fuck, but his personality manages to cancel that out. 

before you have the chance to look away, joe locks eyes with you. shit. you immediately break eye contact and walk out of the kitchen to find nat. you see her on the couch making out with justin. you walk up to the both of them and tap your teammate on the shoulder. she pulls away from justin and looks up at you. “what’s up?” she asks. “ummm i think i’m gonna go home.” you tell her, looking around. “why, what’s wrong? did something happen?” she slowly becomes more worried. “not really, it’s just that i wanted to have a good time tonight, and now that joe knows i’m here, i sure as hell won’t.” “oh okay, do you want me to go with you?” “no, don’t worry about it nat. i’ll see you at practice.” you say as you start to walk away. “text me when you get home!” she calls out after you. you give her a thumbs up, and start walking towards the front door.

“leaving already?” you hear from behind you. “not in the mood burrow.” you tell him as you continue walking. “what has softball taken a toll on you now?” he replies sarcastically. you turn around, tired of his comments, “listen joe, all i wanted was to have a good time with my friend, but like always, you made sure that wasn’t possible.” “what the fuck did i do?” he asks, as if he has the nerve to be offended. “what haven’t you done? you always have some dumb comment about me or my softball skills, even though i highly doubt you actually pay attention to the game.” you say to him, becoming extremely annoyed. “and?” you roll your eyes. “look, burrow just let me go home, so i can get away from this party and away from you.” you turn back around and start to walk away from joe.

“why do you hate me so much? what the fuck did i do to you?” he yells at you. you ignore him and continue walking to the door. “i know you can hear me y/n!”, but you once again ignore him. you feel his hand grip your wrist tightly, and turn you around to face him. “don’t fucking touch me, asshole.” you pull away from him, but his hand is still holding on to you. “let go of me!” you yell, desperate to get away from him. “no, not until you tell me what i did!” “you really wanna know joe?” “yes! just fucking tell me!” he tells you as he lets go of your wrist. “it’s because you’re an asshole! you always disrespect me every chance you get! you know, i was willing to be civil to you when we first met, but you made that impossible! by telling me that sports are a guy thing? really? that’s an elementary school insult! but i see something everyone else doesn’t.” you take a step towards him and look him in the eye. “you are not who everyone thinks you are. you’re not really some overconfident, smug, and reckless fratboy who was no problem sleeping with girls then leaving the next morning.” you can see joe clench his jaw. “you know what i think?” you take another step. “i think that you’re a sad and insecure boy from ohio who obviously has to compensate for something.” you say as you look down at his crotch.

“oh? i’m compensating? and how can you be so sure of that?” he asks as his eyes go dark with lust. “i’ve heard things from people. word travels fast around here ya’ know?” “then i might just have to prove them wrong.” he replies, starting to back you up against the front door. “maybe you do.” you say, biting your lip. you see his eyes flick down to your lips. his hands come up to cup your face as he leans his head down to yours. you can feel his breath on your lips, smelling the whiskey he was drinking before. after looking into his icy blue eyes for a few moments, you crash your lips to his. 

the kiss is everything but soft, your teeth and tongues clashing together. “you wanna go upstairs?” joe mumbles against your lips. “fuck yes.” you basically moan. joe pulls away and grabs your hand to take you upstairs to his room. you try to hide your face so that people won’t recognize you; you couldn’t let it get around that the captain of the softball team fucked the football team’s quarterback. 

once you get inside joe’s room, he pins you up against the wall and puts his lips to yours once again. as he slips his tongue into your mouth, his hand begin to roam your body, the pool in your panties getting larger. his hands go from your waist to your boobs, grasping them. your nipples start to get hard underneath his touch, and joe can obviously feel it because he begins to smirk against your lips. joe’s warm hands crawl underneath your tiny crop top, and you lift up your arms so he can take it off. he  gets a look at your black lacy bra, and even though you didn’t think it was possible, his smirk got bigger. “wow y/n, just for me? it’s almost as if you planned this.” he says cockily as he connects his lips to yours once again, his hands going back to your lace covered breasts. “maybe it’s not for you.” you say against his lips. “ya’ know, ja’marr’s kinda fine.” he immediately pulls away from you and yanks you towards the bed, and pushes you onto it.

“oh really?” he reaches his hand under your skirt and feels the pool of wetness between your thighs, “is this all for ja’marr then?” he asks you. “maybe.” you tell him with smirk. joe loses his cocky look and replaces it with a dark one. “i’m getting so fucking fed up with your attitude. i think i’m gonna have to fuck it out of you aren’t i?” joe reaches his hand up to wrap it around your throat as his other hand goes on your waist. “you look so good with my hand around your neck.” he tells you. “mmmm” you moan as he lightly squeezes your throat. “you’re so quiet. what happened to that big mouth you had earlier hmm?” you can’t say anything except, “please joe, just touch me.” “oh you want me to touch you now?” he asks condescendingly. “mhmm” you lightly moan out.

he removes his hand from your throat and snakes it up your skirt. he lightly rubs his knuckle against your clothed clit. “don’t tease joe.” you whine, desperate for his touch. “uh-uh, you’re not the one in charge here y/n.” he brings both his hands to the waistline of your skirt, and pulls it down along with your panties. he looks at your pussy, glistening with your wetness. “god y/n, look at you, all wet and i’ve barely even touched you.” he groans, turned on by how wet you are, and all because of him.

he leaves soft kisses across your thighs, starting with your left then leading to you right, purposefully avoiding the place you need him the most. “please joe.” “i’ve always dreamt of what you taste like.” joe tells you while leaning his head on your right thigh. “i’m not gonna rush this baby.” he finally brings his lips to your clit, sucking on it. you lean your head back and let out an embarrassingly loud moan. “shhh, do you want everyone else to hear? i bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he says against your pussy. you never thought this would be happening: joe burrow eating you out at his party with everyone else downstairs. you also never imagined it would feel this good, his tongue flicking back and forth against your clit, and occasionally sucking on it. “fuck joe, that feels so good.” you say as your hand slips down to tug at his blond locks. “yeah. well, if you’re good, i might just give you a reward.” he brings his hand up to your slit and rubs his middle and ring finger against it. joe then pushes his fingers into you, your hand pulling his hair much harder than before. the feeling is becoming overwhelming, the coil in your stomach winding tighter and tighter. “you gonna cum baby?” joe asks, looking up at you. “mhmm” you moan out. “well, too bad.” he pulls his fingers out of you and pulls his face away from your pussy. you whine at the loss of contact, but once you look at him, you become even more turned on. you can see the mixture of your wetness and his spit glistening on his lips and chin. “i said you would get a reward, i didn’t say it would be you finishing.” joe crawls toward you and pulls off the bed so you’re both standing up. he reaches behind your back and unclasps your bra, and you gasp slightly, a little surprised about how quick he was able to get it off you.

“get on your knees.” he tells you. “on my knees, right now?” you ask as you slowly sink to the floor. “right now.” he says as he starts to remove his shorts and boxers. once they’re fully off, joe’s hard cock springs up in front of your face. you lick your lips, desperate to have his dick in your mouth. you can see the beads of precum leaking from the red and enlarged head of his beautiful and huge cock. “come on baby, you can take me in your mouth right?” he asks as his hand comes down to grip the back of your head to lead your lips to his dick. you open your mouth and engulf almost all of him in one go. his hand remains on the back of your head, but he lets you build your own rhythm. you hollow out your cheeks so you can take more of him into your mouth with your hands stroking the parts of him that won’t fit. you can feel the tears pooling as his tip constantly rams into the back of your throat. you look up at joe through your watering eyes and see him leaning his head back and closing his eyes in pleasure. you moan around his dick, the vibration causing him to groan loudly. “fuck y/n, i’m not gonna last very long if you keep doing that.” this gives you more confidence, so you bring one hand down to cup his full, heavy balls. after a few more seconds, you feel his cum shooting into your mouth. he moans your name loudly and pulls you off his dick.

joe pulls you up off your knees, and lays you down on his bed. he climbs on top of you and kissed you deeply. you can taste yourself on his lips and joe can taste himself on yours. he drifts his kisses from your lips to your cheek all the way to your neck. he kisses on your neck until he gets to your pulse point, and sucks on it. hard. “joe don’t leave any marks.” you tell him, leaving your euphoric haze for a few seconds. “i wont apologize for marking you up. everyone should know you’re mine.” he says as he continues sucking and biting your neck. suddenly, joe sits up and removes his shirt, opening your legs. “you look so pretty spread out like this baby, just for me.” then, he brings his dick down to your pussy, rubbing your slit with his tip, teasing you until you can’t take it anymore. “joe, fuck me properly or ill find someone else to do it.” you tell him grasping his biceps with your hands. without warning, he slams his cock into you, and you scream out at the feeling of being filled. “come on y/n,” he teases. “be a good girl and take it.” he quickly sets a fast pace, showing you no mercy. your moans start to become much louder as you feel the coil in the pit of your stomach start to slowly wind up again. “fuck baby, you feel so good wrapped around me, like you were made for me.” he groans out. he drops his head into the crook of your neck as he continues to rut into you. by this point, you just know everyone in the hallway can hear you, maybe even some people downstairs. he removes his head from your neck to hover above yours. he grabs your chin and says, “open.” you immediately obey and you can see his lips start to pucker as he spits in your mouth. “swallow.” he tells you sternly, and you do. “fuck, you’re such a good fucking slut for me aren’t you y/n?” you’re so fucked out that you can’t even reply to him. “i’m fucking you so good you can’t even speak, you’re such a fucking whore.” he pulls out of you and flips you around so you’re on all fours. he quickly slips his cock back into you, and the new position allows him to just perfectly hit the spot that makes your vision go blurry. “you’re mine, you understand? mine. all fucking mine.” he tells you as he grips your hair and yanks you up so your back is to his chest. he wraps his hand around your throat as he continues to thrust upwards into you. “fuck, i’m gonna cum y/n. do you want that? hmm? i’m gonna stuff you so full, my cum will be leaking out of you for days.” he mumbles into your ear. “yes i want it. please cum in me joe.” you tell him, the first full sentence you’ve been able to speak within the past ten minutes. he lets go of you and you drop back down onto your arms. you can feel yourself about to cum around joe’s thick cock. “ugh-fuck joe-i can’t, i’m gonna cum.” you moan out. “come on baby, cum for me, you can do it, i know you can.” he encourages. with that, the coil snaps, and you’re cumming around him. “that’s it baby, let it out. shit, you look so pretty cumming around me.”

joe’s thrusts start to slightly falter as you’re cumming around him, your pussy clamping down on him making his vision blur. after a few more thrusts, he cums in you with a load groan of your name. he stills in you for a few seconds before he pulls out, and rolls onto his back. you land on your stomach for a while before remembering who you are and who you’re with. you sit up and start to collect your clothes that are scattered across the floor. joe notices you getting dressed again. “where are you going?” he asks you. “umm i’m leaving? isn’t this what you usually do after hookups?” you’re starting to become confused. “will you just stay? please?” you think for a moment before replying, “yeah, yeah of course.” you lie back down next to joe and he wraps his arms around your waist as you lay your head on his toned chest. 

you lie there together for a few second before joe speaks up. “i’m sorry for being such a jackass to you, you don’t deserve it.” “thank you joe, and i’m sorry too. i haven’t been much better either. at least you’ll actually pay attention to me at my games now right?” you ask jokingly. “i’ve always paid attention to you baby. only you.” he tells you as he kisses your forehead.

[jburrgf]

Prudence Girl.

We could stay alone, you and me and this temptation, sipping on your lips hanging on by thread.

pairing: joe burrow lsu x reader (becoming enemies to lovers)

summary: after a year at LSU, your best friend finally convinces you apply to be a prudence girl.

description: college life, frat party, kiss

—————————————————————

It was a relief to be far from home. From Ohio in general.

Now, I have to put up with my best friend, Tracy Evans, rambling about the fraternity and sorority homecoming at LSU and how much she’d love to be part of Prudence.

Prudence, by the way, is a sorority mostly run by a clique of cheerleaders. They all live in a huge house, practically Republican HQ, where they throw parties almost every week.

I find it cosmic and weird that the name is also a condom brand. But hey, no judgments here.

“We have to go, y/n.” Tracy grabs my shoulders, shaking them. “We can’t miss this!”

“Freshmen can’t miss it, and we’re not freshmen,” I say, winking at her. “At least, not technically. I still feel like one, tho.”

Tracy rolls her green eyes. “That’s where you’re wrong, y/n. It’s not just freshmen who can’t skip out. Prudence pledges can’t either.”

“And why does that matter to us?” I ask, frowning.

“Because, my dear, if we pass tonight’s initiation, we’ll be Prudence pledges,” she says, winking as my jaw slowly drops. “I signed us both up.”

“You what?” I get up from my chair, furious. “If you want to be a Prudence Girl, Tracy, go ahead, but don’t drag me into it!”

Tracy rolls her eyes again. “Don’t be dramatic,” she says, stroking my cheek. “You don’t have to go through initiation if you don’t want to, or even join Prudence. I just want your company, you know, moral support and stuff.”

With her puppy-dog eyes on me, it was impossible to refuse. Sighing heavily, I nodded.

“You owe me, Tracy Evans!” I growl, grabbing my black jacket and throwing it over a white T-shirt that says, “Don’t look at my tits, perv” as I leave the room.

I walked across the dorm with a scowl on my face. Sure, it’s good to be away from home, but it’s not like Cincinatti is a paradise. It’s not even close.

“Hey, y/LN!” I turned my head to the left, where Alyssa Powell was calling me. “Love the shirt.”

I roll my eyes with a faint smile. “What’s up, Powell?”

Me and Alyssa knew each other from the hallways of LSU. She wasn't like a friend of mine, but she was cool to talk to.

“I need ya’ help, y/n,” she says, biting her lip. “You know I don’t get along with Abby Griffin, right?”

“I think the whole campus knows, after she grabbed the principal’s megaphone and announced she’d make your life hell.” Aly grins at the memory. “Go on.”

“I need a reason to stay in Prudence,” she continues. “And a great reason would be to mentor a pledge during initiation. And I saw your name on the list…”

Oh, no.

“Aly… Look, you’re awesome, smart, funny…extraordinary!” Aly smiles, blushing. “But no way.”

“Why not?” She pouts. Oh boy, here come the sad faces again.

“Because I have zero interest in being part of Prudence,” I reply, tucking a strand of curls behind her ear. “Mentor Tracy. She really wants to join you guys.”

Aly sighs. “She already has a mentor,” she says, her voice pleading. “Abby made sure every pledge had one before I could even consider it. I’m surprised you don’t have one yet.”

“Oh, that’s simple. I hate every Prudence Girl,” I say, shrugging. “Including you. But I hate you with love, you know?”

I watch Alyssa laugh, throwing her head back.

“Y/n, look, I wouldn’t be here begging if it wasn’t important,” she says, grabbing my hands. “My mom graduated as a Prudence Girl, so did my aunt, and my older sister. It’s a family thing, you know? I can’t screw it up just because the leader hates me for sleeping with Joe.”

“Wait, what?”

I had no idea about it. Fresh gossip, I guess?

Joe Burrow was the new sensation on campus for the last six months. He was QB1 from the LSU Tigers and didn't lose any games in the regular season — at least not until now. I didn't know that guy very well, and honestly, I like it that way. I'm not into jocks, especially the ones with massive egos.

“Yeah. She doesn’t like me because I hooked up with her boyfriend once, that’s all,” she says, shrugging. “Please, y/n…”

I stare into her brown eyes, at her wild curls and clothes far too bold for a university.

“Okay. On one condition,” I say, watching her smile grow wider and wider.

“Anything!”

“I want a room with Tracy, just the two of us. That, or no deal!” I cross my arms.

“Deal!”

[…]

When I return to my dorm, Tracy is there, jumping around to an ‘80s song, dressed in pink leggings, a black crop top, leg warmers, and a headband holding back her blonde hair. She looked ridiculous. Ridiculously beautiful.

“What the hell are you doing, Evans?” I ask, climbing the bunk bed ladder. If joining Prudence means having my own bed on the floor, it might be worth it.

“Aerobics,” she says, smiling. “I do it every day after class for two hours. It’s exhausting, but it works.”.

“You should try it.”

“No thanks. I prefer my soft butt,” I say sarcastically. “Oh, by the way, I’m doing the initiation and becoming a Prudence Girl.”

“What? Why?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be happy?” I frown.

“I am, of course I am,” she smiles. “But why? You were so set against it this morning.”

I sigh. “Alyssa Powell asked me,” I shrug. “If she’s not my mentor, Abby Griffin will kick her out of Prudence.”

.“Remind me to thank her later.”

I lay back on my pillow, thinking about what it would be like to share a house with dozens of girls. Rent is $100, slightly less than the dorm, but that’s not reason enough to join a sorority.

“How does this initiation work, anyway?” I ask.

“It’s really simple, almost childish,” she says, rolling her eyes. “The guys eat or drink something, then kiss us. If we guess what it was, we’re in.”

“Seriously? That’s it?”

“Almost childish, like I said,” she grins.

Then it hits me. “Wait! Guys? What guys?”

“What other guys, silly? Prudence Girls kiss Prudence Boys,” Tracy bites her lip. “I can’t wait to kiss one of them.”

I rub my face with both hands, already regretting agreeing to this mess.

“I bet you can’t.”

[…]

Prudence House was packed, full of students. Nobody cared that it was the initiation for the new Prudence pledges because it was one of the most anticipated parties of the year—alongside the Prudence fraternity’s homecoming, the Kappa farewell, and the random Acacia parties, all of them Republican houses.

Tracy made me wear one of her dresses, shorter and tighter than I had imagined. My best friend did my makeup and hair, not because I can’t get ready on my own, but because I take forever doing it.

In just an hour, I was perfectly ready, waiting for the campus lights to go out and the pink lights of the Prudence sorority, in the back street, to take over. The house was ridiculously large—after all, it housed almost thirty girls—with many rooms, many bathrooms, and a huge party hall. It was in this hall that I stopped to observe the beige walls.

“Stop looking at things like that, you look like a child,” Tracy murmured, elbowing me.

“Sorry, mom,” I teased, hiding a smile. “This place feels like a museum.”

Tracy didn’t respond, maybe because she agreed or maybe because Abby Griffin was making her way toward us, looking determined.

Abby Griffin was the type of girl with queen bee energy. And she really was, technically. For the past two years, she was the “Prudence Queen”. I never knew how we became friends — actually, I didn’t even have the idea that she knew who I was.

“Y/n y/ln, I presume,” she said, eyeing me with superiority. “Alyssa’s new recruit.”

“In the flesh,” I smiled at her.

“The initiation will start shortly, in the backyard. If you're late, you’re out.” I could see in her eyes she wanted to add "along with Alyssa," but she held back.

“We’ll be there.”

Tracy squeezed my hand and pulled me outside in a matter of seconds, making me roll my eyes dramatically.

When we arrived outside, a line of women stretched across the lawn, their nervous and anxious faces clearly marking them as potential pledges. Everything would depend on a stupid kiss from a guy.

Alyssa found me when I got to the end of the line; including Tracy and me, there were twelve of us, the maximum number allowed per semester. Aly smiled and held my hands.

“Your room is already reserved,” she whispered. Aly glanced around, checking the area before leaning in to whisper, “Coffee candy and mint gum.” To disguise her words, Aly gave me a quick peck. “See you later, Prudence Girl.”

I held back the urge to groan that "Prudence Girl" and "Prudence Boy" sounded like names for a girl group and boy band—and they also actively reminded me of condoms, of course. I could make that joke later, after surviving the initiation just because a fling had kindly asked me to.

Tracy watched us with a smile; a nod from her confirmed she had heard what Aly said.

I would call this cheating if I cared about this whole mess.

“Welcome, everyone—brothers, sisters, pledges, and nosy students,” Abby Griffin began, silencing the crowd. “Tonight, we’ll be welcoming our new sisters—those who, of course, pass the initiation.”

Tracy squeezed my hand. Sneaky little thing.

“The initiation is as follows: we have a dozen Prudence Boys here, but you won’t see them until after you've kissed them.” At that, each mentor handed their pledge a black blindfold and placed it over our eyes. “Each guy has tasted something different—maybe a strawberry, maybe whipped cream, maybe vodka... Your job, during the kiss, is to figure out what was in his mouth before he kissed you. Good luck.”

Apparently, a line of twelve boys stood in front of us, aligned like we were. But we wouldn’t be kissed all at once.

I had to endure the sounds of sloppy kisses for several long minutes, along with guesses of foods or drinks—all of them correct.

Tracy squeezed my hand one last time before letting go.

It was her turn.

More kissing sounds, longer than usual. I rolled my eyes beneath the blindfold.

“Coffee candy!” Tracy shouted, earning applause and cheers.

Now it was my turn.

I felt the approach of someone who smelled of cheap cologne and sweat, and I automatically grimaced. This was clearly Abby’s doing.

But before the guy could mess up my night, a voice stopped him.

“Step aside, Oliver.” The body heat from the boy faded as he stepped away, and someone else approached. This one smelled of Dior Savage and coconut shampoo, and I honestly like it more. “She deserves someone better.”

“And you’re that someone better, Burrow?” Oliver, I assumed, yelled.

There was no response. Instead, soft lips covered mine, kissing me gently, while a hand slid to my neck, holding me in place, at his mercy.

An overwhelming sense of déjà vu hit me.

But his mouth didn’t taste like mint gum. Oliver surely would have, but this intruder had interfered.

I didn’t know whether to thank him for sparing me from the sweaty guy or curse him for confusing my mind.

I was still being kissed. His lips pressed lovingly against mine, and at the end of that affectionate wildness, three soft pecks were left as his hand released my neck.

Oh, crap. Crap, crap, crap.

The once-noisy crowd had gone completely silent. Not a single person was saying anything.

Nothing. Not even a whisper.

I focused on the taste left in my mouth, where his tongue had roamed freely.

“What the hell was that, Burrow?” Abby yelled, probably storming toward us.

I didn’t dare remove my blindfold, afraid of what I’d see. Of who I’d see.

“You weren’t supposed to kiss her!” Abby continued.

Someone leaned toward me, and from the scent, it was him again.

“Do you have a boyfriend, darling?” he asked with the sweetest voice he could do it.

“No.”

“Then yes, I can kiss you.” I pressed my lips together as they argued.

“No, you can’t! You took Olly’s place!” Abby shouted back.

I cleared my throat, embarrassed.

“Chocolate,” I suddenly said, silencing them. “You ate chocolate before...”

A soft gasp escaped the boy, low and pleading, before his mouth claimed mine again.

Oh my God...

“Joseph Burrow!” Abby shrieked, furious, while the boy ignored her completely, more interested in caressing my lips with his own.

Damn, this feels so good!

A strand of my hair was tucked behind my ear as my lips were reluctantly released.

“Congratulations, Ohio girl. You’re a Prudence Girl now.”

I felt like I could faint at any moment, but I didn’t remove the blindfold, because I knew who I’d see if I did, and I wasn’t ready for that.

[funnyjb]

Love of my life

Today is the day, the day I get to marry my best friend, my partner in crime, the love of my life, and soon to be husband.

My dress was fitted perfectly. My vail was dragging on the floor as I linked my arms with my dad’s.

“Ready, kiddo?”- your dad

“Ready as I’ll ever be!”- you

The doors swung open. Family and friends stood up and looked my way.

You are in love instrumental started playing. I made eyes contact with Joe. His eyes were red and teary.

As I walked up to Joe and put my hands in his we smiled so big.

“Friends and family, we welcome you to celebrate and bring these lovers closer.”- officiant

After awhile it was time for vows

I was first.

“Joe, where do I even begin? I have loved you ever since I meet you in that little frat house. I have watched you grow and evolve into the man you are today over these past years. I couldn’t be more proud. You have overcome obstacles and challenges, Scars and bruises, and Losses and wins. You are the strongest person I know. You put all your power and strength into a drive for success and it motivates you to work even harder. I have seen you through your highs and lows. But know you’ll never face anything alone. In your proudest moments or lowest lows, I’ll be there. I’ll be your cheerleader, or a shoulder to cry on, and I promise to be the one you can rely on. I love watching your dreams come true and couldn’t be more grateful and lucky to be a part of them. You once asked me if I would choose to be yours in a million life times. And my answer is yes. If I could live a million lifetimes I would always choose to be yours. So, I vow to love you unconditionally and forever be yours.”- you

By this point Joe and I were both crying.

“Y/n, words lose all meaning trying to explain how much you mean to me. You have been there since the start. You have showered me with support and love. You are always someone I can lean on and someone I know who will stay up with me and watch SpongeBob or film. I never really knew what love was or felt like until I met you. You have shown me how to love. You have shown me to be the best version of myself, to push and persevere through thick and thin. You take care of me when I’m down and pick me back up when I can’t myself. I have never been sure about much,but being loved by you feels like being able to breathe deeply for the first time, like every breath before you wasn’t big enough. I promise to love you with every thing I am. To love you to my fullest. I will never stop fighting for us. I vow to be yours, y/n”- joe

I looked up at Joe with so much love in my eyes.

“Y/n, do you take Joe to be your lawfully wedded husband?”- Officiant

“I do.”- you

I slid the Cartier wedding band onto joes finger

“Joe, do you take y/n to be your lawfully wedded wife?”- Officiant

“I do.”- joe

He slid the dimond band onto my finger.

“Joe, you may now kiss the bride!”- officiant

He pulled me in and kissed my lips so passionately.

When we pulled away we looked into each other’s eyes.

“We did it.”- you

“We did it.”- joe

He grabbed my hand as I reached for the bouquet with my other.

We walked down the aisle with smiles on our faces.

People cheered and waved.

Joe and I exited the ceremony and went to a private room until the party gets underway.

“We did the dam thing!”- Joe

“Yes, indeed we did!”- you

I pulled him in for a kiss

“You’re my wife now.”- joe

“You’re my husband now.”- you

I rested my head on his chest.

“You look gorgeous, y/n.” -joe

“You don’t look to bad yourself, burrow!”- You

Joe laughed

“Thanks, Mrs burrow.”- Joe

Y/nBurrow

Liked by joeyb_9, Robin Burrow and 1,000,000 others

Y/nBurrow I will always choose you in a million lifetimes 🤍

joeyb_9

Liked by y/nBurrow, Bengals, and 2,000,000 others

joeyb_9 we did the dam thing!!! Forever mine.

[lukeevangelista]

being joe burrows girlfriends sister and he’s protective of you because you’re like a little sister so when he finds out you have a boyfriend (and he’s a hockey player) he gets extra protective ?

Protective Joe - R. Donovan

Wisco days 😌 photo cred to @llhughess

Obvi protective platonic Joe

And idk if ryder was in a frat house, but just go with it

———————————————————————————-

“I’m here!” You shouted, “Come love me! It’s only a few times a year you get me!”

It was Christmas break for you at school and you were home for almost a month this visit.

“Y/N!” Olivia squealed as she ran towards you from the kitchen where she was helping your mom cook dinner for everyone, “I’m so excited you’re home.” She swayed back and forth with you, “We have so much to catch up on it’s not even funny.”

“That we do, my dear sister.” You grinned as you pulled back from her to see Joe walking up to you, his arms open for a hug.

“Shiesty.” You laughed as you pulled away from Olivia, tucking yourself into his arms, “When’s my sister gonna be the Mrs. Shiesty?”

“Nice to see you too kid.” He chuckled, “and when you actually lock one down.”

“Hey!” Liv glared at him, knowing he was just joking.

All the banter and jokes quietened down as your mom called for dinner, your other sister running into the kitchen. She had been studying for an exam, to which your mom excused her from having to eat with the family.

“You never let me do that.”

“You moved away for college.”

“Touché mother.” You playfully glared at her as you dad chuckled from his seat at the table.

“When is Ryder coming in?” She asked as you all sat down at the table.

“Mom-“

“Who is Ryder?” You sister grinned as she sat down next to Joe, “Is this a new boy toy?”

“Something… like that.” You grimaced as you stuck your spoon in your mashed potatoes.

You quickly changed the subject to how Joe’s season was going, how work was for your sister and parents, making sure to keep the subject off of you and your potential love life.

**

“So is he a boy toy or an actual boyfriend?” Liv asked after dinner was over; you, her, and Joe settled on the couch.

“And there goes peace and quiet.” You sighed, “He’s a boyfriend.” You said, “He’s in some frat house and my sorority did a fund raiser with them. He’s a really sweet guy.”

"I know exactly how those frat boys are." Joe argued with you, "Did you really think you'd get by me with this one? Especially the ones that live out of state. He’s even worse!”

Olivia let out a cough as Joe corrected himself, "Us. Did you think you would get this past us?"

"Nice save babe."

You were Olivia's little sister and Joe treated you like the sister he didn't get. You were the closest thing and honestly, even though you weren't biological, you two sure acted like it.

"I didn't expect anything." You shrugged, "because whether you like it or not, I'm with him."

“What does this punk even look like?” Joe grumbled under his breath.

“Yeah, what does he look like?” Liv asked as you pulled out your phone.

“That punk has a name.”

“What is it? Kyle?”

“Clearly you weren’t paying attention earlier at dinner, but it’s Ryder.”

“Even worse.” Joe dramatically flopped back on the couch, “Just by his name, I can tell you he’s bad news!”

“Good thing I didn’t ask.” You quickly scrolled through your phone, finding a recent photo of you two from a surprise date he had taken you on.

“Oh okay.” Liv smirked at you, “I see you pulling.”

“She better not be pulling anything!” Joe grumbled.

“Okay Mr. Protective, chill out.” You chuckled at his antics, “I know you care and I know you’re just looking out for me, but I’m smart. I know what I’m doing.”

Joe continued to grumble under his breath about it causing you to roll your eyes.

“Tell me about him.” Liv smiled as she adjusted to be able to see you better on the couch.

“Well like I said, he’s in a frat house-“

“Terrible move.” Joe commented.

“-he’s an absolute sweetheart-“

“Don’t care.”

“- he can cook really well too-“

“Can you get on with it already? Get to the good stuff.”

“Joe?” you said his name sweetly.

“Yes?”

“Shut the fuck up.” You hissed, “Thank you. As I was saying, and he’s gorgeous.” You continued, “oh!” you exclaimed, “and he plays hockey!” “Nope!” Joe said as he stood up, “It’s a no from me! Already hate him.”

“You haven’t even met him, you dumbass.”

“I don’t care!” Joe defended, “I was a college athlete once with college athlete friends. I know how this entire charade works!” He continued, “He lures you in and then he’s cheating on you or you get hurt.”

“Well then, that's my decision to make then, huh?” you said, “Besides, I don’t think he’d do that. I’m not worried about it at least. It’s a college relationship. We’ll either get married at a frat party or we'll break up.”

“Or you’ll get married in real life.” Liv chuckled. 

“I think you should reconsider it all.”  “You know, you’re better when your mouth doesn’t move.” You grumbled as you watched Joe roll his eyes before glaring at you, “Joe, I’ve known you too long for you to scare me. You look like I ran over your puppy more than you are scary.” you chuckled, “Either way, I’ve got to run in a few.” You said as you saw the text come through that you were waiting for. 

“Why?” Liv pouted, “We were getting to the good stuff.”

“Well the topic of this conversation just landed so I've got to go handle that.” You said as you stood up, tucking your phone into your back pocket.

“I don't believe it. I don’t think he’s coming.” Joe said as he stood up, “You’re full of it today.” 

“He’s literally on a plane now.”

“And? I don’t think you’re actually dating. There’s no way he’s coming to visit you. He’s good looking- you’re you.” Joe said, “and I really hate the fact he’s an athlete!”

“Joe! You’re a fucking athlete!”

“Watch your mouth young lady.”

“Liv, please control him before I handle him myself.”

“I’ve been trying for years.” She chuckled as she watched you walk towards the door, “Be careful, We’ll see you and Ryder soon.” She grinned. 

**

Ryder followed you to the car, his hand on the small of your back, the other tugging his suitcase through the parking lot. 

“So he doesn't think I’m real?” Ryder asked. 

“Nope. They think you’re fake.” You said, “Probably because of how hot you are.” 

Ryder let out a loud laugh at your bluntness as he got into the passenger seat.

The drive home wasn't terrible, but you knew the moment you got there, it was going to be a good show between Joe judging Ry and your family meeting him for the first time.

It wasn’t the technical first time for your parents as they had met him over FaceTime, but not in person.

You pulled into the driveway, you helping Ryder get his stuff out of the car.

“I’ve got it babe.” He said as he pressed a kiss to the side of your temple, “Go on inside.”

You listened, only grabbing his carry on as you walked into the house, seeing your family sitting there.

“Behave.” You said, mainly aiming your statement towards a certain tall brunette.

**

“I think we should get to know you better Ryan.”

“Ryder.”

“Whatever. How about dinner tomorrow? Mine and Liv’s treat.”

“I think a double date sounds pleasant!” Olivia agreed, her looking hopeful at you. 

“I guess.” you said as you looked towards Ryder who reluctantly agreed. 

It wasn't long after that that Liv and Joe had went to their own home, you and Ryder heading upstairs to your childhood bedroom. 

“I told you they’d somehow rope us into something.” You said as you brushed your teeth, “It never fails!” You continued, slightly waving your toothbrush.

“Babe as much as I love you and your dramatics, you’re getting toothpaste everywhere.”

“Are you even listening to me?” You asked after spitting in the sink.

“I am, but I’d like to not get toothpaste in my eye either.”

You rolled your eyes at his comment as you rinsed your toothbrush before putting it in its holder and popping your retainers in. 

“I'm just warning you, he will be judging you hardcore tomorrow.”

“So is he your brother or?”

“Something like that.” You sighed as you crossed over to the bed, tugging the decretive pillows off, “Wow, sleeping next to me and you dont even know my last name.”

“I’m just messing with you.” He laughed, “You’re not a Burrow; you’re a Hubbard, right?”

“Ryder!”

**

“Did you see the way he looks at her?” Liv asked Joe as you and Ryder were off in the bowling alley, trying to find the right size balls, “He adores her.”

“I don’t see it.” Joe shrugged, “I don’t like him.”

“Give him a chance.” She said, “At least he wasn’t late like someone was on our first date.” She grinned, “Matter of fact, he was early and he held the door for everyone.”

“I apologized for that already!” Joe defended himself, “and I hold the door for you all the time!”

“I think you’re being dramatic.” Liv sighed as she turned towards her boyfriend, “Give him a chance. You can tell she really likes him.”

You all had moved on from bowling after kicking everyone’s asses, finding yourself at the pizza parlor next to it for dinner.

“After you.” Ryder grinned as he pulled out your chair before giving your shoulder a squeeze.

Joe was not going to let some twenty one year old in a new relationship show him up.

“Here babe.” Joe said as he pulled Olivia’s chair out, you letting a chuckle fall from your lips as you watched her fact twist from confusion to realization of what he was doing.

“Be careful, your jealousy is showing.” She whispered to him.

“I am not jealous!” He harshly whispered back.

“Yeah okay.” She chuckled.

“So Ryder, what are you plans after college?” Joe asked as he looked at the menu, even though he knew exactly what he was going to get. He just didn’t want to make eye contact with you or Ryder.

“I’m planning on playing pro hockey.”

“Sounds interesting.” Joe commented. Ryder gave a nod to him.

“You’ve had an incredible season this year.” Ryder said as he watched Joe almost break, but keeping his composure, he retaliated the nod.

Joe was determined not to like this kid.

He really wanted to be able to say ‘I told you so’ to you, but it wasn’t the case right now. He actually was starting to like Ryder; as much as he didn’t want to admit it.

Ryder didn’t talk over you, he was well mannered, he didn’t give you an attitude if you disagreed with him, and most of all, he truly adored you and Liv and Joe both could tell it.

It wasn’t long that you all parted ways, Joe and Liv still talking about you and Ryder; even a hour later.

“I like him.” She said as she snuggled into his chest, “He’s sweet.”

“It’s a facade.”

“Give it up, Burrow,” she chuckled, “You like him too, especially after he commented on your season.”

Joe groaned, knowing she was right, “Will you let it go if i say it?”

“Yes.”

“I like Ryder and I think he’s good for Y/N.” He grumbled, “Are you happy now?”

“Yup!” She grinned, “and I cant wait to tell Y/N.”

“Don’t you dare!”

On the other side of town, you were having a similar conversation with Ryder.

“Do you think he likes me?” Ryder asked as he snuggled into bed beside you causing you to prop up on your elbow.

“I think so,” you said, “but he won’t admit it. He’s still going to act like a hard ass to you.”

“Do you realize that’s okay? I met Joe Burrow and he likes me?” Ryder chuckled as he looked towards you.

“You’re just with me because my sister is dating him.”

“I am not.” He softly smiled as he brought his hand up to move the piece of hair that fell in front of your face away, “I’m with you because I love you.”

“That’s- that’s uh the first time you’ve said that to me.”

“I know.” He whispered, “but I wanted to wait until I meant it and I truly mean it.”

“I love you too Ryder.” You said as you softly pressed a kiss to his lips before laying down in his arms that were outstretched towards you.

Moments had went by of you two just lying there, waiting for sleep to overtake you both.

“I can’t believe Joe Burrow likes me.” He grinned as his head whipped towards you.

“You realize you’ll never live this down, right?”

“Oh I know.” He said, “but it’s worth it.”

[marjanovic]

kind of beautiful how the two people in my life who are obsessed with joe burrow are a Tumblr mutual and a frat guy who insists that if he slept with joe burrow it "wouldn't be homo"

[glittter-vamp]

CHAPTER 4

Joe Burrow x Bisexual OC.

Warnings: Angsty. Smut-ish if you squint.

Word Count: 3k

Valeria gets home from work and she simply couldn't stop replaying what happened at the store over and over again in her mind. She texted Joe about how sorry she was but he was being really dry with her. Replying 'Ok' and 'We'll talk later' or even 'I'm Busy', which was annoying Valeria and even pissing her off at this moment. Valeria decides to turn off her phone and play at Joe's stupid immature game. She wasn't going to let him get to her, she was done. Joe was being childish and she didn't have to put up with that. Opening a wine bottle she pours the wine into a glass, filling it generously and makes her way to her bathroom. Debating on a bath she decides to just shower not wanting to shower first to then wait and fill up a bath, plus she was used to Joe's tub with the nice jets and room for two.

Turning the shower head on and letting the water heat up, Valeria chugs the rest of her wine like a frat boy would a beer and sets it down on the bathroom sink. After she undresses, Valeria steps into the hot shower letting the water relax her as much as possible and thinking about everything and anything that didn't have to do with Joe or even Summer because she was also clouding up her mind at the moment. It was working until she heard the door of her condo open and shut close. She had forgotten that Joe also had keys to her home like she did to his. So much for forgetting about him for right now.

"Turning off your phone? Real mature Val." Joe says walking into the bathroom disturbing Valeria's peace. She mouthed a string of cuss words for not remembering to lock her bathroom door before she got into her shower.

"Say's the one giving me one answer replies and also going basically M.I.A all day. Don't even try it. " Valeria scoffs as she lathers her body with body wash.

"I was at my parents. I wasn't going to be arguing with you while I was over there with them." Joe snaps back making Val roll her eyes.

"Whatever Joe, just let me shower in peace. It's been a long day. " Valeria says not caring to hear his excuses. She could hear him sigh in annoyance but he leaves the bathroom shutting the bathroom behind him. Though Joe was at her place waiting to continue their argument, she took her time showering before she finally stepped out drying off as much as she could before putting on her robe and drying her hair with a towel. Stepping outside of the bathroom she found Joe laying on her bed scrolling on his phone, which ticked her off even more.

"You know how I feel about outside clothes on my bed." She says to Joe who looks at her with an annoyed look before slowly standing up. Val makes her way to her drawers and searched for some underwear and pajamas.

"Took you long enough, now can we talk about what happened at the store." Joe sighs.

"I've apologized multiple times Joe and you clearly didn't give a shit so... what is there left to say? It's not my fault she did that & I didn't entertain it either." Val says rummaging through her drawers trying to find her matching pajamas.

"What do you mean It's not your fault, you didn't stop her or corrected her!" Joe argues back making Valeria scoff before turning around.

"She's not a dog or child Joe! She has no clue that I am in a relationship, much less with you." Valeria sighs rubbing her face in annoyance. 

"You still could of said literally anything and respect our relationship!" Joe snaps back.

"Oh I'm sorry, am I the one that's wanted to be in a secret relationship for 4 fucking years?! Am I the one that told myself to even lie about in being in a relationship in general, because if we both start telling people we are in a relationship but don't disclose with who...people are going to assume, put two and two together and then figure out we're dating each other? No, that's you! You've never respected this relationship since the beginning much less me. " Valeria snaps at Joe.

"What does that have to do with your Ex girlfriend still flirting with you?! and don't you dare say I don't respect you Val because that's bullshit. " Joe says which made Val see red.

"Joe... if I have to lie about dating you and basically have to pretend I'm single. What the fuck do you think is going to happen? You have hundreds of girls throw themselves at you when you go out with your guys friends, in your DMs, at events and guess who the fuck has to suck it up because she knows that NONE of those people know about her and think you're this rich  bachelor? Does that not seem disrespectful to you in anyway?" Val says in a calm voice.

"So it's my fault?" Joe scoffs shaking his head.

"Yes! You quite literally made your own bed and now that you have lie in it, you don't like it. That's not my problem if other people hit on me, ask me out or perceive me as single. I do my part which is ignore it and seem uninterested but I'm not going to sit here and feel bad for a stupid comment a girl I liked in college made and you clearly feel threatened by." Val finishes making Joe scoff.

"I'm not threatened by anyone." Joe says with a stupid smirk on his face.

"Then why are you mad right now if you know I'm yours? Summer doesn't know we're dating cause I followed your little 'act single' rule we've been doing for years and now it's suddenly a problem. Shit, two months ago at guy at that barbecue we were at asked me for my number and you never brought it up or got bothered by it. You feel threatened because you know as long as she thinks I'm single, it's free game with me. You never liked the idea of her and I reconciling and now I know why." Val chuckles as she turns back around and continues her search for her pajamas.

"Are you laughing because that's what you want? You're enjoying having her flirt with you again? Is this some sick twisted joke to you?" Joe asks. It was so painfully obvious he was jealous.

"No, I'm laughing because your stupid little relationship rules and paranoia are finally biting you in the ass. It's either, I tell her we're dating & risk her telling people or even selling it to a tabloid cause I know that's your number one fear or I keep pretending we are only friends, you suck up the flirting until she leaves. Those are you two options." Val shrugs. 

"How about you cut her off, tell her to stay away that you can't handle being friends with her." Joe says and Val rolls her eyes. 

"I already forgave her about what happened, I'm not gonna make something up and switch up on her for no reason. I'm done with the lying to accommodate you, I'm tired Joe, I can't keep doing this to myself, this isn't healthy." Val sighs. 

"I told you I just needed a bit more time Val..." Joe runs his his fingers through his hair clearly stressed. 

"I... can't see myself being with you any longer if this is what's going to continue to happen Joe. You're playing games with me and I'm not doing this again." Val tears up. 

"You're talking nonsense Val, all because some girl you hooked up with in college is in your life again. You need to let that go." Joe scoffs shaking his head. 

"This isn't about Summer, Joe! I'm not going to sit here waiting any longer for you. Either you figure out if you really want this relationship, if you really want me and you allow me to be a normal partner to you or we should simply just both move on because at this rate... it's just disrespectful, it seems like you're embarrassed of me or something or I'm just some placeholder until you find someone else." Val says, which at this point she was crying. 

"So, you're giving me an ultimatum?" Joe looks at Val with anger plastered on his face. 

"I'm not going to be keep paying for something that happened to you and your past relationship Joe, people already talk about us and rumors are out there-- about us being together regardless on how hard we try to make it seem we're just friends and nothing more. Even Kade and Summer brought up today that we seemed into each other. It's either stop caring and continuing our relationship, not letting people have such a weight on us, or we break it off." Val sniffles as she wipes her tears. 

"I'm going give you sometime to cool off, you're not thinking clearly." Joe shakes his head. 

"You do whatever you want, I already made up my mind." Val shakes her head heading back into the bathroom to change. As soon as that door closed the tears flowed out like a river and her heart felt like it was being ripped out of her chest.

*************************************************

"So... it might be over just like that?" Vals friend Mateo asks as they sit in her Condo talking with all her friends over some drinks and food.

"I guess so. It's been 8 days and we haven't even sent a text to each other. He also had his event for his foundation, didn't invite me or even texted me to tell me if they met their goal or not. It's like I don't exist." Val informs them as she sips her mojito Karina had made for her with her bartending skills she learned in college. 

"He's being ridiculous, maybe it's better if you two just moved on." Karina shakes her head.

"I feel stupid for wasting my time like this. I committed to him like an idiot, he could of been with other women this whole time and that's why he didn't claim me." Val sighs. 

"You shouldn't say that! Like yeah it sucked that he would rather break up than to just let people know you guys are together but you guys still had your fun and I genuinely think he loves you, he's just a man who is stupid. Some relationships aren't meant to be forever." Genesis says trying to make her best friend feel better. 

"Hey easy with the he just a stupid man...I mean he is but nicer language please." Mateo says being the only guy here. Making everyone laugh, he gets boo'd and he rolls his eyes at the girls.

"That being said...why don't we plan a night out? It's been such a long time since we've gone out to a club...a gay club specifically." Karina smirks and Val groans not wanting to go out anytime soon. 

"I am soooo down." Genesis agrees with a big smile planted on her face. 

"I'll go...but only for Val. You know how much I get hit on in those clubs." Mateo says before it gets silent and everyone busts out laughing. 

"Mat, you got hit on ONCE by the drunkest man in the club that night, be serious." Genesis laughs making Mateo roll his eyes.

"You know I don't go out like that anymore." Val scrunches her faces not really feeling the idea. 

"Which is all the reason for us to go out! Let's do Saturday, that way we can recover on Sunday by ordering brunch and watching Twilight." Genesis says. 

"You sure you're not gay? Cause that was the gayest thing you've ever said." Karina teases Genesis making everyone laugh. Genesis flicking her off.

"So this Saturday, we're going out, rocking out with our tits and dicks out." Genesis claps making Val sigh. She knew she wasn't going to get out of going to this. 

"Get you sluttiest outfit out girly." Karina smiles at Val with a wink.

*************************************

"I feel so over exposed, I shouldn't have worn this." Val shakes her head as she walks with everyone. Val was dressed in a shimmery short pink dress and strappy heels which she had been second guessing the entire night.

"No way! You look hot as shit, this dress was made for you. You look like Bratz and Barbie fucked and had you as their love child." Genesis reassures as everyone stood in line at the club. The week had past by and Val still hadn't heard a word from Joe. It seemed he wasn't even in Ohio but instead in Miami for a UFC fight with his teammates and friends which Val only knew because a few of them posted pictures of them all at south beach. Val hated the feeling that gave her, the sick feeling that he could be potentially hooking up with the most gorgeous models out there. She couldn't help but feel like this is maybe what he wanted. Maybe Joe was too much of a coward to call things off himself so he knew Val could only take so much about their secret relationship and was happy she basically called it off first. 

"Helllloo earth to Valeria Rios!" Karina snaps Valeria out of her thoughts. 

"Huh? Sorry." She awkwardly chuckles. 

"Stop thinking about him and get your ID out cause we're about to shake some ass in there." Genesis says smacking Vals buttcheck making everyone woop, even people who were in line behind the group. 

Everyone gets checked by security and makes their way into the loud and packed club. A mix of Slut Pop by Kim Petras blared though the club and you all went directly to the bar. Ordering a round of Jager shots and your usual drinks along with it. 

"Seems busier than usual in here." Mateo says to Val over the loud music and Val nods in agreement. Everyone gets all their shots first and Karina does a toast. 

"Here is too Women, Lesbianism and Mateo potentially kissing a man tonight again if we get him drunk enoughhhh!!!" Karina hollers as they clink shot glasses. 

"Fuck off." Mateo laughs before they all throw back the shot. We grab our drinks, leaving our tabs open and head to the dance floor. They all dance with each other close to everyone else in the club, Genesis and Kelly taking pictures of all of them and posting them on their story. It got eventually go to a point in the night where everyone had lost track of the amount of drinks they were consuming and had moved to an area to sit around at. 

"Oh shit...look who's coming!" Mateo slurs in Vals ear and she turns to see none other  than Summer walking over to her in the dress she had sold her and some insane black stiletto heels and looking like a perfect doll. Val didn't even try to not check her out, it was clear the liquor was really starting to hit her.

"Hey you...didn't expect to run into you here tonight." Summer smirks hugging Val and waving to the rest of the group who were all surprised to see her here. 

"The gang dragged me out tonight, I see you're wearing the dress you picked out at the store." Val smirks at Summer. 

"Sure am, but look at you. You look like a million bucks, how you're still single is crazy to me." Summer flirts. 

"Someone has caught my eye, so let's see." Val says giving her a sly smile, Summer smirking back before taking a sip of her drink.

"Are you here alone?" Val asks her. 

"I was actually here with a coworker buuut he found himself a toy for the night, so now I'm solo." She nods making Val chuckle. 

"You can hang with us. The more the merrier. " Val smiles. 

"Cool! I'll get us another round, Vodka Soda?" She asks looking at Vals almost finished drink and she nods before Summer makes her way to the nearest bar. 

"Aw shiiiit!!" Karina grins at Val. 

"This night just got sooo interesting." Genesis says loudly over the music. 

Val rolls her eyes at her friends and finishes her drink leaving it at the coffee table in the section of the club they were now in. Summer soon enough comes back with drinks for her and Val. Val thanking her as she takes a generous sip of the vodka soda which hit her differently than the other ones she was drinking tonight but she wasn't complaining. She was sure Summer got her a double which she always did in college when they had a night out. Everyone keeps dancing and having a good time then suddenly I'm a Slave 4 U by Britney Spears started playing and Summer immediately made eye contact with Val and gently pushed her on the leather couch to which she then started dancing for Val. Summer clearly not caring about those around her as she moved her hips to the seductive beat of the song. Val also being to inebriated to see anything wrong with this right now, she sat enjoying her old college flame being a complete flirt and basically giving her a lap dance in a club filled with people, eyeing every movement made by Summer and admiring her body getting hypnotized. Being in this trance, she hadn't realized some of her friends recording this moment to post on their stories for fun which would probably bite Valeria in the ass later. Both of them completely oblivious of that, Summer kept moving her body to the music finishing up with her straddling Val with a giant seductive smirk on her face. Summer then grabs Valeria's hands and put them on her hips to hold her in place, popping the cherry from her fruity little drink, in her mouth. Summer then leans in letting her long hair cascade over both her and Valeria's faces, lips softly connecting and Val taking half a bite of the cherry she held in between her teeth. Both of them smirking at each other with eyes full of lust as they pulled bac from one another as they chewed on the sweet fruit and Summer sat on Valeria's lap.

A/N: So...how did we feel about this chapter? Also let me know how spicy y'all want the Summer & Val or Val & Joe smut to be, I won't hold back 😏

[lizzidizzy]

hey! any f1 fanfic blog recs??

Thanks for the question i just want to say that there are so many talented writers out there and I sadly can't name them all so I will just settle for the ones I read the most. this has no particular order. and a lot of them have nsfw content so pls be aware

@theringers – everything she writes is just a masterpiece .. you don't want me to get started on how much i love her writings we are going to be her for a long time. such a lovely person and she is about to release a book if this doesn't show her talent then i don't know. also really love her frat boy au series

@seasidetom – so. many. beautiful. story's. - i love them all

@welld0nebaku – so much talent in one person pls just go and check her out nothing more to say + bonus for joe burrow

@enchantestuff – probably one of the sweetest people on earth and so incredibly talented. her daniel fics are giving me life ❤️

@yungbludz – oh my .. everything she writes is good and trust me she has a lot of stuff you are going to love it but be aware she might break you heart she definitely broke mine a lot but in a good way. she is also very nice to talk to.

@windrush-child – if you love lewis rush to her blog. the this ain't ordinary life series is pure gold.

@imthebadguyyy – also one for the lewis fans but has a lot of work for others too I have to say a max fic made me fall in love with her. She has some of my favourite works

@jamminvroomvroom – her aren't I supposed to be happy now? series is so good. i have to catch up a bit there but you guys really need to read it .. it's worth it.

@luvth0t – very hot things you can find over there trust me

@keepy-uppy – also some very hot work + bonus for the nhl and soccer guys

@fandomtravels – i just really love the bts of dating … series it's honestly so cute.

[lushlovers]

Happy Fuckin' New Year, J Burrow

summary; you're clueless and airheaded at times, it really gets under joe's skin.

warnings; still on their fwb shiz, joe's an asshole, swearing, kissing obvi, drunk joe and reader, youre a clingy drunk sorry

word count; 621

note; i love frat joey already. the hat mentioned is the "big dick joe" one btw:).

HAPPY NEW YEAR HOPE IT TREATS YOU SO WELL, MY BABIES

Ever since your third drink you were practically stuck to Joe, somehow he ended up on a sofa with you in his lap, talking about whatever with JJ whilst you spoke with Aiyanna. "Oh my gosh, Ai! Come on, I love this song," you slur, grabbing the girl's well manicured hands and pulling her off to dance in the crowd.

Joe watched the two of you, admiring just how free and beautiful you are, alcohol effects some people awfully, but it let him get a glimpse of how you truly are with no filter or nothing holding you back. Justin caught his heart eyed friend, nudging him with his shoulder, smiling his big contagious smile, "You really like her, man. We all can tell."

Confusion graced his features, "She's only a good fuck, you know that," those words left an awful taste in his mouth, but he'd never tell Justin that, "Do I? You're practically an emoji right now," JJ snorts, watching as his girl made her way back with her arms linked with yours, laughing loudly as fall back onto Joe's thighs.

"That was so fun, you should've danced with me, Joey," he hums in response, using his hands to help you situate yourself comfortable on top of him. He wishes he did even more so than you. "Not much of a dancer, you don't seem to be either," you frown at his distasteful words, how dare he insult your dance skills? You mumble under your breath something about how mean he is to you.

"You love it," his voice is muffled slightly against your sweater clad shoulder, you reach behind you to snatch his hat and placing it on top of your head, not at all caring or realizing what it said. Leaning yourself back into him, looking to your phone for the time, 12:55. "We have to go watch the ball drop," now you're shakily standing up and grabbing at Joe's hands to get him up as well.

"Slow down, damn." His words are lost to you, as you drag him towards the room that was projecting the timer onto the walls. Your skin's glowing with how the room is lit and Joe can't seem to look away from your pretty face, he reaches out to you, using his finger to tilt your head to face him. "Have I ever told you how gorgeous you are?"

"Cool it, cheeseball," you giggle, pushing his arm back to his side, he clears his throat embarrassed, never again. "Right, my bad," he sneers, rolling his eyes. Closing himself off completely when he folds his arms over his chest, chewing at the skin at his cheek so he doesn't tell you how bitchy that was.

Your clueless to how you just bruised the man's ego, counting down with the rest of the people, bouncing on your heels. Grabbing Joe by the shirt as that time gets closer. He tells himself to walk off or not let it happen, but the look of admiration and excitement in your eyes made those thought leave his mind and if that look wasn't enough your lips were.

Fire works went off not only in the sky, but in your stomach along with an entire zoo's worth of butterflies. His hands grab at your hips pulling you closer, the irritation he felt moments before has disappeared entirely. At this moment it was like no one else existed but the two of you. Reality managed to catch up to him a bit when you pulled away, looking up at him, "Happy New Year, Mr Burrow."

"Happy fuckin' New Year," and just like that his lips are on yours again, harder this time, more desperate than before.

[ririglow]

ARE YOU JOKING?! frat boy joe burrow x reader WAS INCREDIBLE!!! pls pls pls i am begging for more content from you, preferably mr. burrow 🤍🤍🤍🤍

STOP YOU'RE MAKING ME BLUSH😭😭😭

don't worry I got tons of content for number 9

[moldisgoodforyou]

jj with charlie’s family

combined two requests: jj getting a black eye and him with charlie’s family!

warning: cursing

wordcount: 1.4k

_

jj called on his way to charlie’s house. “hey, charlie -” he started, sounding kind of strange. 

“are you late? please tell me you’re not late, we have to meet my family soon for parent’s weekend and my mom hates when I’m late.” 

“no, uh, I’m on time. but before I see you, I should probably give you a heads up?” he hedged. 

charlie sighed, juggling tubes of mascara and lipstick in one hand and concealer in the other. “can’t you just tell me when you see me? I kind of have my hands full getting ready, j.” 

“well - no, not really. I’ll see you soon.” he hung up before she could question further. ten minutes later, he showed up on her front porch. instead of just strolling in like normal, he rang the doorbell. 

"come in!” charlie yelled out from the living room as she laced up her heels. jj winced before he walked in. she kept her focus on her shoes for a moment, trying to knot them correctly. “you ready?” 

“born ready.” he joked. the second charlie looked up, she gasped. jj was sporting a fresh black eye with a small cut on his brow bone to top it off. she stood quickly, immediately stepping forward and grazing a gentle thumb over the cut. “who the fuck did this? I swear I’ll kill them.” 

he shook his head quickly, going to explain. “no, no, it’s - wait, why is your first instinct so violent?” his lips quirked up into an amused smile. 

“I don’t know, to protect you! no one should be hitting you!” charlie exclaimed. she grabbed his hand, dragging him into the kitchen.

he softened a little and accepted the bag of frozen corn that she passed him, placing it gingerly on his eye. “I should have had you around growing up.” he joked, trying to ease her concern. 

they hadn’t talked about his dad much at that point and she frowned, folding her arms across her chest. “that’s not funny, jj. who did this to you?” 

he winced, bracing himself for her response. “um. just elliott. we were wrestling...” he trailed off at her overly dramatic sigh. 

“and you were wrestling, why?” she questioned. 

he shrugged. “I don’t remember. but he accidentally threw his elbow at my eye and kinda knocked me into the table leg.” 

charlie groaned as she stepped forward, adjusting the frozen corn over his eye. “jesus christ, you boys are dumb.” she softened the insult with a gentle kiss. 

“hey!” jj protested. “I’m injured, be nice!” 

she rolled her eyes. “yeah, and now we have to go see my parents like this. they’re gonna think you get in fights all the time or something.” she cut him off as he opened his mouth before he could say a word. “and. and! jamie’s gonna be there too, and you’ll make a bad impression.” 

jj frowned, genuinely feeling bad. “I’m sorry, baby.” 

“don’t call me baby.” she huffed, but carefully combed her fingers through his hair. 

“right. I’m sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t mean to.” he apologized quickly, more for the black eye than the nickname. she nodded. “I’m gonna kick elliott’s ass when I see him next.” he laughed, unable to help himself at the mental image. “well, considering he has about 75 pounds on you, I’m not sure you could take him.” 

charlie wrinkled her nose and lifted her fists, teasingly punching his arm. “fuck that, I could absolutely take him.” jj grinned. “you’re cute.” 

after applying just enough concealer to barely hide the black eye, and charlie ignoring jj’s constant whining, they made it to the car with just enough time to drive to meet her family at the restaurant. he went for the front seat and charlie pulled him back, grabbing the keys from his hand. “no, j, you just got your shit rocked and technically have a head injury. let me drive.” he hesitated. “your dad notices when I don’t drive.” 

“so we’ll park further away. let me drive, dumbass.” 

he huffed. “can I get a tiny ounce of sympathy?” 

she grinned and reached up to kiss him shortly. “you’re a dumbass, but I love you.” 

he rolled his eyes and went to the passenger seat. “fair enough.” 

as they arrived to the restaurant, charlie squeezed his hand reassuringly. jj gave her a quick smile as they approached the table her family waited at. her mom instantly rose from her seat, hugging charlie tightly. “hi, you two! oh, I missed you both.” after releasing charlie from the hug, she turned to hug jj with no hesitation. he was a little caught off guard but shot charlie a big grin afterward, relaxing at her mom’s outward affection. 

“jj, sit here!” jamie, her little brother, excitedly offered, pulling out the chair next to him. he grinned and reached across the table to shake her dad’s hand in a firm grip before sitting and offering a fist bump to jamie. 

“what’s going on with your eye?” her dad asked, point-blank. 

“dad!” charlie squeezed jj’s hand under the table. jj shook his head and gave him a sheepish grin. “um, it’s okay. just a dumb wrestling competition at the frat house.” surprisingly, charlie’s dad broke out into a fond smile. “ah, I miss that. remind what house you’re in, jj?” 

“beta theta pi, sir.” jj told him. 

her dad’s grin grew wider. “class of ‘85 right here.” 

jj suddenly had a grin to match. “no shit?” he realized his mistake at charlie gently stepping on his foot. “er - I mean -” 

her dad just laughed, waving his hand in dismissal. “it’s fine. you’ll have to show me around this house this weekend, I haven’t been back in a while.” 

“absolutely, sir!” 

her mom clapped her hands in excitement at the exchange. “look at that! see, mike, I told you you needed to go easy on him. he’s a sweet boy.” jj blushed a little, bearing a shy smile. he started up a conversation with jamie as charlie caught her parents up on the latest with her classes. after they ordered their food, charlie leaned over, giving jj a quick kiss on the cheek. “what are you two talking about?” 

“we’re having man talk.” jamie quickly interjected before jj could say anything. jj grinned at charlie, lowering his voice so only the two of them could hear. “it’s about a girl he texted me about.” 

“wait, you two text?” charlie questioned, surprised. 

jamie gave her a look. “of course we text. we’re friends.” 

jj elbowed her, shooting her a broad grin. “duh, charlie. we’re friends.” 

the rest of the dinner passed without incident, charlie’s mom practically fawning over jj and her dad asking multiple questions about the beta house. after dinner, they said their goodbyes, with promises to be up the next morning for the south carolina tailgate, and jj wrapped his arm around charlie’s shoulders as they headed out to the parking lot. “I think your parents like me.” 

“they love you, j. and jamie thinks you’re best buddies.” she turned her head, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. 

“thinks?!” jj exclaimed, mock offended as he opened the car door for her like always. “we are best buddies.” 

she rolled her eyes, climbing in. as he got in, she reached over, holding his hand. he leaned over and nudged his nose against her cheek. “you’re quiet. whatcha thinking?” 

she mulled her words over before speaking. “I like seeing you with my family. I think you fit in well, and I like showing you off.” 

jj ducked his head a little, trying not to look embarrassed by the praise. “quit it, walker.” 

charlie smiled. “never. I love you.” 

“even with the black eye?” 

she rolled her eyes. “yes, even with the shiner.” he brought her hand to his lips, kissing the back of it. "good. I like your family a lot too.” 

“you know, you look kind of hot.” 

jj raised his eyebrows, smirking. “yeah? this is what does it for you?” 

“I mean, I hate seeing you hurt. but it’s certainly a look.” charlie grinned. “reminds me of when joe burrow got hit in the -” 

jj let out a huge, dramatic sigh. “okay, shut up now.” 

she grinned, leaning across the center console. “make me.” 

he turned, giving her a sweet kiss. “love you, walker.” 

[donnerpartyofone]

hello, friends. today is an extremely stressful day for probably most people who follow this blog. personally, i'm staying a little disconnected, partially because i know it's going to be forever before a conclusion is reached, but also because it's so hard for me to be hopeful. wishing for a different president than the one we have is one thing, but there is also a wish to be able to stop feeling the way many of us have been forced to feel every day for the last four years; the relief of being allowed to stop listening to and thinking about that one individual would be immeasurable. i'm a little afraid to love this thought, and find myself heartbroken. note that i'm not looking forward to Hope and Change, just this one crucial psychic difference. I'm not going to debate whether donald trump and joe biden are fundamentally the same, in that democrats have just as much generalized blood on their hands as republicans. the problem with trump is in what he does to people emotionally. if he were to drop dead this instant, like i pray to god for every single day, mike pence would never inspire and galvanize the same mouthbreathing knuckledragging fuckfaces in the same violent way. having joe biden in the seat of ultimate power would not inflame the same kinds of general public feelings that it is openly permissible to shoot up a synagogue or beat black people to death in the streets, that "many fine people" are capable of these things. even accepting the allegations of rape against biden, i do not believe there are roid-raging frat boys out there who will look up to him and feel encouraged by his success to ramp up their crimes against women. the inflammatory psychic signals that come from trump specifically create their own problems in this country, separate of the legislative corruption and stagnation that we still suffer under the democratic party. politely stifled, appropriately embarrassed bigotry is radically different in character and effect than bigotry that is stroked and fluffed and trotted out on tv by a cartoon father figure who literally makes the rules for everybody. trump, specifically, has to go.

so what do i do with myself, with the conflict between my cynicism about america's ability to progress and my inexpressible rage against what must change? well, sometimes, i toy with elaborate id release fantasies about how i think trump should die. i mean, that would really be the optimal event here, but it would be important that he die in a really humiliating way that makes it hard for his constituents to keep identifying themselves with the idea of him.

i mean, none of this should ever happen in real life, because that would be cruel and hateful of course, and we're not supposed to wish unhappiness on others. but some of these ideas give my nervous brain just the massage it needs to get me through my day.

you know, i mean, i can imagine it would be good if he were like, jacking off to gay tickle porn and had an aneurysm and shat all over himself and it glued all his tickle feathers all over him and the violent paroxysm contorted him into such an idiotic shape that they couldn't remove the frilly bonnet and giant baby rattle from his rigor mortised body before hauling him through the streets in front of everybody to the city dump.

in my imagination, it would be really cool if he were coming down an escalator with a banana in one hand and a corn cob in the other and he choked while slurping on both of them and toppled over and fell right on top of his head which cracked like an egg and his pants split and revealed his many pink and purple layers of spanking welts to the entire press corps.

in my imagination, it would be terrific if it were discovered that he got a dominatrix clown wearing a patchwork pantsuit and blonde bob wig to peg him as hard as possible with a strap-on shaped like a toy gun that shot out a big BANG! flag at the peak of the action, ripping through his colon and out of his dickhole with such force that it caused his entire lower portion to explode like a blood blister, leaving only the flag flapping in the wind before the live audience of a facebook feed that the clown was secretly running the whole time.

sometimes my imagination skips the accidental circumstances and just pictures him as the subject of a mass public execution; i mean like, he's found guilty of assholism by the royal court of the entire galaxy, and he has to get in the middle of a desolate field, and every single person who wants to gets to come and burn him with cigarettes and rip little chunks off of him with nail clippers and stab him with the spines from those anti-rape condoms that burrow in further when you try to remove them, until he falls on the ground and we can all stomp all over him until he looks like a bunch of yogurt, but he's still alive and waving his little baby fists in the air and weeping in a really stupid little way that makes it impossible to feel sorry for him, so he can appreciate it when we get a long chain of elderly lesbians to come stand over his face and piss all over his open wounds, and then nature gets in on the act because carnivorous fire ants are attracted to the smell of his blood and they crawl through his tattered clothing to his hilarious little genitals and inject waves of chemical pain into his crotch to radiate throughout his entire body while gorgeous models stand around pointing and guffawing at the size and shape of his mutilated joke of a member, and then jackals and vultures come, unable to wait until he's dead, and start rippping him apart like monkey bread, and parasitic wasps nest in the festering remains, and he is still conscious, and by some divine magic he remains conscious until every single cell has been separated from the others and ground into the barren earth beneath him, which we finally spread with gasoline and set on fire. that would be really ideal.

sometimes it makes me feel better to just imagine him in the most irretrievably degraded state possible, in which every single shred of his being is individually punished to the fullest extent possible for his appalling and totally irredeemable existence that has been destructive to practically the whole entire world including people who like him. i think maybe the one thing that the right has over the left is their acceptance of the power of hate. in the extremely disturbing and eye-opening documentary FEELS GOOD MAN, about the internet's conversion of innocent cartoon character pepe the frog into a fascist icon, modern druid john michael greer makes a fascinating observation about how the pepe episode is a demonstration of sigil magic, in which a symbol facilitates the intense concentration of passionate hatred, so that it can be weaponized in a focused laser-like fashion against the object of this hatred, and used to scaffold the success of the object's adversary--namely trump. many people have theorized that the remarkable focus of feeling that was achieved within the chan boards during 2016 was, in one way or another, directly responsible for the outcome of the election. i guess i wish that the left were capable of this same kind of mass ritual, to stop the in-fighting and the moral purity tests, and pool our collective hatred in the same satisfying way that we've seen the right do--just to share the dream of it. i mean, why not? it's just emotional catharsis. it's just the power of the imagination. it can't hurt anybody. it's not like our congealed desires could spin themselves into a massive psychic megaton rocket aimed directly at the entire fate of the worst person on the planet. so let fly, indulge yourself a little. add your notes to this post, whydontcha. things can't get any worse!

[thatsdemko]

joe burrow hits different because he exudes more big dick energy than any other human on the planet

That’s so true I agree I don’t know I found him attractive in the beginning of the football season and I was like “yo he looks like a frat guy but he’s finer than any of them” AND DONT FORGET THAT!JOE IS HOTTER THAN ANY FRAT GUY AND HIS SIMILAR BUT BETTER THAN THEM!!!

Ugh and that’s on big dick joe 🥵

[aintmyjewelry]

wait which bengals player is everyone thirsting after? Is it the qb? Cause he is yummy

his names like joe burrow? is he the QB? i’m sorry I am not good with football. but yeah he’s the ones i’ve seen all the tiktoks about and I just idk I don’t get it 😭 to me he just looks like every other frat guy on a college campus

[marjanovic]

the review from my frat friend who thinks "making love to joe burrow isn't homo":

made this instead of finishing some draymontas yaoi. it's for the nfl girlies hi nfl girlies