#Also I'm just so tired of male and female characters not being allowed to be Friends. Like why is this still an issue in fandom

[lesbianwyllravengard]

I hate when there's a ship I'm not into but I don't actually dislike it and then over time seeing it more makes me start to hate it. I wish I could just. Enjoy other people's joy instead of like grimacing whenever I see art of it. It's obviously not a Real Issue and I'm overthinking it but eh

[prythianpages]

'Cause Somewhere in the Crowd There's You | Lucien

summary: When Tamlin sends Lucien to the Night Court as his emisssary, he stumbles upon a nightclub and finds himself captivated by you. His sweet nightingale.

warnings: angst, mentions of blood and violence (reader is trapped in a nightclub)

a/n: This is part of my ABBA x ACOTAR series (masterlist) where I dedicate a song to a character (: but also was inspired by Lana Del Rey's music and a hint of Oscar Wilde ♥️ This takes place roughly before Amarantha's rule. If I'm going to be honest, I find Lucien hard a bit hard to write for (but this song really gave me lucien vibes) so I hope this doesn't come off a bit out of character for him. also why is it so hard to find pics that match Lucien's vibe on pinterest.

Trapped in the ceaseless rhythm of melancholic blues, you can’t help but feel sick and tired of everything. Days blur into nights. All you do is eat and sleep and sing. The weight of routine presses down on you, suffocating the spark that once fueled your passion. 

You wish every show to be your last.

That is, until you see him.

He emerges from the crowd like a radiant sun breaking through the darkest night. His presence is tall and striking with skin kissed by the sun and a cascade of red hair. Despite the length of scars that run down the left side of his face, there is an undeniable elegance and beauty that surrounds him. His eye holds you captive, drawing you in like a moth to a flame and your voice falters for a brief note. 

**

Lucien knows he should leave. Hewn city is not a welcoming one and his meeting with the High Lord of the Night Court did not go well. But against the warning bells ringing in his head, he decides to linger and wander around the dark city. With no clear destination in mind, his feet guide him through the labyrinthine alleys until, almost as if compelled by an unseen force, he stands before the entrance of a mysterious nightclub. Bathed in an eerie red light, the sign above reads The Rose. 

As he approaches, the entrance, despite being small, appears almost ethereal. Shadows dance upon the towering stone walls. The air is thick with an alluring blend of magic, pleasure and something darker. Inside is just as mysterious and intoxicating. He should leave and he turns around to do so when he a mesmerizing sound stops him and holds him in place.

“In the land of gods and monsters.” 

A beautiful and heavenly voice. It beckons him forward like a siren’s call and he allows the fae lights embedded in the cavern to guide him further. The corners of the nightclub harbor hidden alcoves, draped in luxurious silks and velvet.  

“I was an angel living in the garden of evil.”

Some high fae engage in secretive exchanges and gambles. Some are lost in the enigmatic allure of drinks and colorful powders that shimmer with enchantments. Some are engrossed in the pretty fae females and males on their laps. Others, like him, are captured by the hauntingly beautiful song.

“You got that medicine I need. Fame, liquor, love, give it to me slowly.”

Where ancient stone meets polished wood, Lucien finds himself at the bar and orders a drink. He turns to face the stage in the center of the club, leaning against the bar. His mechanical eye emits a soft whir as his gaze travels to the owner of the voice. 

“Put your hands on my waist, do it softly.”

A silent awe washes over him as he takes in the sheer beauty before him. Dressed in a white gown that drapes over you like moonlit silk, you stand on the stage like an angel amidst the monsters that lurk in every corner of the place. The fabric mirrors your every movement as you sway to the rhythm of the song in small billowing waves.

“Me and the Mother, we don’t get along. So now I sing.”

It’s as if you sense his gaze on you because your siren eyes are searching the crowd. Mirroring the depths of a fathomless ocean, your eyes are pools of sadness and longing, yet there's a vulnerability that softens in them as they lock with his. Your voice slightly falters and for a heartbeat, time seems to stretch.

A tremor courses through you, fingers tightening their grip onto the microphone. Your eyes darken again and then you’re tearing your gaze away from Lucien. He follows it, curious eyes landing on a male who stands on the balcony facing the stage. Even from where Lucien stands, he can tell the male radiates power and money.

“No one’s gonna take my soul away.”

“They call her the Nightingale.” The bartender says to Lucien as he hands him his drink. Lucien’s gaze returns to you. “She’s off limits. I suggest finding another female to warm you for the night. There’s plenty to choose from here.”

Lucien says nothing in return. Those hadn’t been his intentions upon seeing you. He simply found himself struck by your presence. And as the enchanting notes of your song continue to soar, there’s a rising desire to learn more about you. The thought of extending his stay begins to take root, a subtle whisper tempting him to linger a while longer. He’ll write to Tamlin to reassure him and continue to negotiate with Rhysand further.

**

The gamble Lucien took to stay in Hewn city is a winning one with each passing night yielding more promising signs of Rhysand's willingness to compromise. It brings him relief as it gives him an excuse to visit the nightclub again. He returns the next night and then the following, noticing something new about you every time. 

On the second night, he realizes the male you had glared at the first night he saw you was the owner of the nightclub. Lucien learns that he was right in his first impression of him. Benedict is a wealthy man, both in money and in connections, and is not subtle about the power he holds over this part of the city. Everyone in the nightclub bows down to him but not you. There’s a look of defiance in your eyes every time you look Benedict’s way.

On the third night, your usually hauntingly melancholic voice takes on a different, lighter tone. It’s still just as beautiful but now, harbors a sense of hope. And your eyes find Lucien’s with ease. You don’t break eye contact with him throughout the entirety of your performance that night, as though your song is a serenade meant solely for him.

It’s on the fourth night that he finally gets to talk to you. 

Breaking from your routine of disappearing behind the stage curtains after performances, tonight, you grace the bar with your presence, drawing stares from some of the high fae. His grip tightens on his glass when he recognizes a dark hunger in most of them but even so, none dare to approach you.

“What will it be, lovely?” Lucien hears the bartender address you.

Taking the empty spot beside Lucien, your presence and proximity captivate him. His heartbeat falters momentarily as you graciously flip your hair, surrounding him with the divine scent of the sweetest rose.

“Just a water,” you reply and he hears the rustle of your dress as you turn to face him. “You’re not from here.”

Lucien’s lips twitch upwards. “What gave it away?”

“You’re not a monster.”

He finally turns to look at you, a strange warmth spreading through him. Ever since he lost his eye, he had battled with the scars tainting his skin, internalizing a sense of monstrousity. Yet, as you regard him, it feels as though you see an angel where he sees only imperfections.

His eye drinks you in, the mechanical one on the left whirring along. The corner of his lips lift up into a smirk when he catches you doing the same. 

“How do you know I’m not a monster?”

“There’s something different about you. Something good,” your eyes study him carefully and then, with a soft sigh, you add, “It’d do you well not to dwell in places like this. They’ll only dim your light.”

Curiosity getting the better of him, Lucien asks, "And what about you?"

Your eyes widen, as though the question catches you off guard. "What about me?"

Despite the myriad thoughts swirling within him, he restrains himself and settles for, "You, too, don't seem to fit into this place.”

You fall into a thoughtful silence and your brow slightly furrows. Lucien keenly observes the subtle shift in your gaze as you scan the room before settling back on him. Leaning in as though sharing a secret, he instinctively leans closer. However, as he anticipates your words, you’re turning your back to him. Just as he's poised to speak, you sweep your hair aside, rendering him speechless as you show him instead. 

A delicate tattoo is etched onto the skin between your shoulders—a bird confined within a cage.

“I can’t leave,” he hears your murmur and the ink on your skin appears to shimmer like stars in confirmation. A bargain permanently marked upon flesh. Your flesh and he swallows thickly at what your words imply. 

You’re that bird, the nightingale, trapped in the cage.

“I have to go,” you say suddenly and your hair falls back into place, cascading down your back and concealing the telling tattoo. “Will you come by tomorrow?”

“I thought you said I shouldn’t dwell in places like this.”

“You shouldn’t,” you reply with a wistful smile and Lucien hates the way you drop your gaze.

“But I think I will.”

His words prompt your head to lift, eyes meeting his in surprise. A rush of excitement flushes your skin, transforming the wistful smile into one that is lighter, more promising. A fluttering sensation stirs in Lucien's stomach, and he can't help but return your smile.

A couple more days in Hewn City wouldn’t hurt.

**

Ten days ago, you were stuck in an endless loop of exhaustion and despair, where every night weighed heavily upon you. However, a welcome shift has occurred since then. Sleeping, eating and singing still consume most of your days but a newfound presence has entered the scene. Lucien.

And as the curtains are drawn back, revealing your presence to the awaiting audience, you embrace yourself for the blinding super trouper beams. Unlike nights past where a tinge of melancholy enveloped you, tonight is different. 

You won’t feel blue, like you always do, because somewhere in the crowd there’s him.

Lucien’s presence is like a burst of brilliance, akin to the beaming lights that find you on the stage every night. When your eyes find his amongst the crowd, your pulse quickens and heat rushes to your cheeks. It’s like the sight of him proves to you that you're still alive. 

In his wake, the shadows that linger in the club cower and hide away. He shines like the sun and you find his brightness infectious. It chases away the gloom that had settled over your own light, reigniting the flames of enthusiasm that had long dimmed within you.

Each note you sang resonated with newfound energy, and every performance became an opportunity to embrace the warmth and vitality he brought into your world. As the final notes of your song hang in the air, you can’t help but feel a sense of destiny. You were meant to meet Lucien.

After your performance, you sneak your way back to the bar where he waits for you.

“You came again,” you smile at him.

Lucien smiles back at you but it falters. “I’m afraid it’ll be the last time…for a while.”

The smile doesn’t waver off your face yet the glistening in your eyes reveals the threat of an emotional storm beginning to unfold. You refuse to dwell in it, not wanting to let the darkness that lingers over you like a gloomy cloud to consume you again.

“Okay,” you manage to breathe. You knew this day was coming. Lucien had to return back home, and you, regrettably, can’t go with him. “Let’s make the most of tonight, then. Dance with me?”

“Are you sure?” Lucien asks and you follow his gaze to where Benedict stands, a top of the balcony as always. You feel a rush of relief when you see a pretty female wrapped around him. A distraction. Perfect.

Lucien watches you, taking in every shift in your expression as he awaits for your answer. It’s not that he doesn’t want to dance with you. Gods, does he want to dance with you. Anything to be able to hold you close. To take you into his arms and hold you tight. 

Unfortunately, he’s well aware of the tight leash Benedict keeps you on. He doesn’t let you stray far from his sight. You’re not allowed anywhere near the private nooks lining the club or the rooms at the back where private exchanges occur. It’s for your own safety and Lucien can’t be mad at that. What unsettles him is the way Benedict regards you as his most prized object and Lucien doesn’t want you to face consequences over a dance.

“Yes,” you finally answer. 

There’s a strong certainty in your voice but also a subtle plea that tugs at his heartstrings. It brings forth a tightening in his chest. He suppresses the urge to frown. He plans to return to you but for now, it’s your last night together before he has to leave the Night Court. 

Lucien graces you with a smile instead. He offers his hand to you, his eyes lighting up with a warmth that mirrors the blood coursing through his veins. A delightful shiver travels up his spine as your hand wraps around his. Until now, you’d only share glances, lingering stares and the occasional brushing of skin. 

As the piano begins its enchanting melody, Lucien takes the lead, guiding you onto the dance floor. You’re so close you can feel the warmth of his body and all you want to do is melt into it. Melt into him. But you can’t.

So you bask in the warmth of his gaze instead. Up close, you can now appreciate the depth of his russet eye and you can’t help but marvel at the intricacies of the golden mechanical eye on the left. His gaze never strays from yours throughout the dance and the tender connection between you begins to rise under the brilliance of his gaze, pulling your heart with it.

As he holds you tight, you surrender to the intimate embrace, shedding all inhibitions. Neither of you speak, your eyes speaking for you. It feels as though the world has faded away, leaving just the two of you swaying in harmony. Smiling, having fun, where each step becomes a silent declaration of the unspoken feelings that have blossomed between you.

The passage of time remains elusive as you share the dance, the minutes slipping away unnoticed until the pianist gracefully bows to the audience. Your dance comes to a dreadful stop. Lucien's grasp on you tightens, a reluctant acknowledgment of the inevitable separation.

“I’ll come back for you,” he whispers, his promise carrying a tenderness that ignites a fervent flame within you. “I’ll find a way to help set you free, my sweet nightingale.”

He then pulls a pristine white rose, the same exact shade of white as the dress you wore when he first saw you, from the folds of his coat. He graces you with one last smile as he leans in, placing the rose carefully behind your ear. “Until then,” he murmurs, his lips brushing against your temple and your eyes flutter shut.

“Until then,” you breathe and as Lucien walks away and the shadows inevitably return, you take delight in the way the darkness hesitates to claim you, leaving you untouched.

You can’t even bring yourself to care when Benedict corners you backstage, seething with anger. Of course, he noticed. You don’t even flinch when he throws his glass of whiskey toward the wall behind you, the shattered glass ricocheting. Some of them make their way to you, slicing your skin.

As you settle into the comfort of your small room, you retrieve the white rose from its perch behind your ear, cradling it delicately in your hand. A single drop of blood from one of your healing cuts taints the rose, painting one of the white petals red. Still, you cling onto the slender stem, gripping it as tightly as you grasp onto that fervent flame of hope burning within you. Your light will never dim again…

Because somewhere in Prythian, there’s him.

a/n: I'll admit this took an angstier turn than what I had intended but I hope you still enjoy this darker interpretation of ABBA's Super Trouper lol.

if you'd like to read more about these two, here's a part two.

tagging: @scooobies

[parrotscopes]

absolutely in love with Dead Boy Detectives!!!! I love how despite at first glance it seems like the show is just going to be about these two ghost boys it never sidelines the very important female characters, of which there is so many of. I love how the show tackles violence against women, specially by men, but also by other women. I love Niko's and Crystal's friendship, how they are always helping and uplifting each other, and how Jenny helps them(even if reluctantly) I love how the women are all allowed to be weirdos in their own ways and be flawed, and even have unlikeable moments without being demonized.

Its refreshing honestly, I'm tired of being presented with male/female friend groups in media and the women being completely sidelined in favor of the men, by both the creators and the fandom at large, yet dead Boy Detectives not only avoids it but completely combats it!!!

[reblogandlikes]

Unknown mother and sister.

I know people have spoken about authors using female anguish or pain placed upon them to develop the male characters before, but it honestly bugs me so much when it comes to Rhysand. His whole shtick for the Great Retcon of Tamlin is helped through the past actions of Tamlin’s so-called betrayal that led to the murder of his mother and sister (we still don't know the whole story. Heck, Rhysand himself still doesn't know the whole story, yet acts as he does - go into his mind and find out), but what do we even know about these women other than to serve as Rhysand's ever lasting resentment?

We have no names. We have no solid personalities than the vague stereotypically female qualities of "kind hearted" and "caring." The mother randomly made dresses in a revealing design that doesn't match the Illyrian's prudish aesthetic at all when it comes to female’s and how did she even get her ring in the weavers hands and how would retrieving it display anyones worth of her precious son? That in itself could have been a whole back story along with her and any extended family. Then there's the sister who we also know nothing about. And even in CC3 (hofas) Azriel mentioned that Helena, during that holographic scene in the Prison, looked similar to Rhysand’s sister. In that moment, a name could have been given, SJM! That was a perfect opportunity, but nah, I guess.

The point being, these women were Rhysand’s heart. Azriel's heart. Cassian’s heart, and yet we know practically nothing about them beyond the surface. They were tracked and murdered for...reasons. Beheaded and wings removed to debase them further, but what attachment are readers meant to have other than to say, "Aww, poor Rhysand, how horrible"? Tamlin lost his mother too, but his story isn't as wrapped up in the loss as Rhysand’s is, so his mother being dead isn't meant to hold that much weight nor granted much sympathy despite neither women having names nor much back story. Women killed due to other men's (the fathers) anger and vengeance. Women's deaths meant to set the tone and nothing else. Senseless. Pointless.

We know more about Mama Archeron than any of them, yet even that information is scarce, and she's the dead parent of the FMC. We know more about Alis than them. We know more about Amarantha and her sister, Clythia, than them. We know more about Myriam than them.

So someone tell me why I'm meant to take Rhysand seriously and his devastated, broken heart for his losses when they're used as nothing but tools to excuse he behaviour and justify his feelings despite us never getting to know the true memory of them?

I wish we learnt more. She was the first Illyrian Lady ever! That's interesting! What did she do to help her own people? Did she care? Why did she allow Rhysand to go to those camps? Did she have a choice? What did the sister do in her years alive? Did she have dreams? I still think a little romance between the sister and either Cassian or Azriel would have been an interesting twist.

So many books, and we're given crumbs. So many books and so many characters don't even have names, let alone surnames. I know the genre is romantasy, but c'mon. And I'm just tired of random female trauma being used to further a males tragic backstory and nothing else.

[dollypopup]

We need to talk about misogyny in the lukola fandom, and how it originated in the rampant misogyny in the Polin fandom and just continued to grow, because unfortunately, the two deeply intersect, and there's been such a lack of nuance in so many discussions

interestingly enough, this is actually being exhibited in a lot of Luke Newton discourse. Not toward him necessarily, but to the women around him, in comparison to him, for better or worse, including Nicola. There's been a lot of discourse especially around Luke being 'jobless' in contrast to Nicola being 'booked and busy'. and even in rejection of that discussion, the defense becomes that she is an exception, because she is exceptional, and that of course others look less ambitious in comparison. And at first, I'm sure this LOOKS like it's praising a woman for her hard work and dunking on a man for what we imagine isn't.

but has anyone ever asked why Nicola is booked and busy, especially? does she want to be? or does she *have* to be?

I want you to think about just how many women over the age of 40 are getting major roles. How many love scenes you've seen that feature more mature women. How in Queen Charlotte, the focus was on a younger actress, how Violet's and Danbury's and Portia's and QCs actresses don't even have a kiss scripted.

How much of that is by design in the entertainment industry

Nicola, in many ways, is creating a recipe for burn out, but she works alongside wonderful actresses who are incredibly talented- and do not get the opportunities they SHOULD. Roles in the entertainment industry are largely written for young women in their 20s, young, conventional women. And Nicola KNOWS this. She's a businesswoman, and her craft IS her business. The clock is, unfortunately, ticking. This is a very insidious aspect of the misogynistic entertainment machine. Yes, Nicola is booked and busy right now- she's building her brand and trying to break out of the awful cycle of female actors getting a few big roles, and then get relegated to side characters or mum number 3. Should the entertainment industry write more roles for women over 40? YES!!! They should be major roles with poignant narratives!! But it isn't the reality we live in. She is actively fighting against the sexism of the industry she is living in, she cannot take a vacation.

Luke Newton, however, *can*. He has privilege as a man to take his time. Whilst Nicola's career is in danger of a downswing, Luke's is, by most statistics? Just beginning. Men continue to get major roles deep into their 30s, 40s, 50s. In fact, I think MOST male actors only build notoriety as they age. So Luke Newton has the privilege of TIME.

And let me very clear: I'm happy he can. And I wish Nicola could, too. Grinding ourselves to dust in the pursuit of the perfect capitalistic darling is only going to breed misery. The fandom is SO caught up in saying 'oh, look at how great it is that xyz has this role!' and 'booo he's unemployed and jobless etc. etc.' that we don't take the time to ask. . .why is it NECESSARY and in fact praise worthy to lick clean the boot of grind culture? Are we not all tired? Do we not all want downtime? Holiday? Vacation?

Luke Newton is doing what is healthy: he's pushing away from Social Media, didn't spend too much time promoting, disengaged from the fandom in online spaces but is still generous with his time in person, poured himself into his craft, did a hell of a promotion tour, and in the time between fitting and costumes and learning lines for Bridgerton Season 4? He's resting.

As. He. Should.

As *Nicola* should. Because she also pushed to continue engaging with a fanbase who she hopes will act as security for her as she ages out of the roles writers are pushing into the world. Nicola SHOULD BE ALLOWED HER REST!!! She should NOT be booked and busy!! She should NOT be grinding herself to dust for the sake of keeping herself in good light to become one of the few women who continue to be big names beyond her 40s.

She, however, can't. Not because of anything Luke Newton has done, he is not, as many people want to believe, a problem. He benefits from the system ALL his male coworkers do, and does his best to uplift the women around him, likely understanding the struggles of such having been raised surrounded by so many women, but he is not perpetuating the system or creating it. Instead of directing our criticism on Luke Newton, we SHOULD be directing it to the entertainment industry. So Luke Newton is on a break from a serial successful production he has a guaranteed role for: so what? He is afforded that privilege. Having downtime is not the death knell of his career as doomsayers are insisting.

The average age of an Academy Award Winner who is an actor is almost 50. The average age of an Academy Award Winner who is an actress is 37. (source)

Should we be mad? Yes.

Is this something to be mad at Luke Newton for specifically? NO. Many male actors take breaks and time in their career trajectory, because they know they have longevity. The discussion in this fandom is misplaced, and the root of that misplacement is twofold: sexism and capitalist worship. It isn't that Luke Newton lacks ambition and should be working harder- I argue he's doing what is best for him and most people in the long term. This is self care, and it's important.

No, the discussion is that Nicola is forced to work in a pressure pot because of the industry, and the fandom continues to praise her for it, all whilst turning noses up at those who don't or do not have to, and continuing to uphold the narrative that women must be a beacon of exceptionalism in order to curry respect. They continue to uphold her grind as a virtue- look how great it is that she's constantly posting, constantly engaging with the fandom, always auditioning, booked and busy- have you not asked if she would LIKE a vacation? she deserves one, same as Luke Newton.

What you're mad at is NOT Luke himself- but the patriarchy. What you're mad at is that women must be held to standards of near unreachable excellence. But instead of working together as women and having any actual discussion about it that's meaningful, it turns into a crock of shit that then shoves everyone in the backspray, especially other women.

The slutshaming misogyny that has been directed at Luke Newton's girlfriend- *yikes*.

Oh, A is a hanger on. She's 'poptart', she's portrayed with an ant emoji, she's 'toilet twerker', she's 'controlling him' or HE should control HER, she 'should be reigned in', she's jobless, she's an infant who needs her big strong boyfriend to take her social media away, she's not been 'claimed' (like luggage, like a THING), look at him, he doesn't feel ANYTHING toward her- not like Nicola.

Our good, darling Nicola versus that awful whore Antonia/Jade/Any Woman in Luke Newton's Circle.

This sexism is deep and pervasive- being angry he's dating her 'because she's thin'. Insisting she's a villain and everything she does is to 'rile up the fandom' or 'stir up trouble' or that she 'hates Nicola'.

You all do NOT know this woman. And I don't either!!! Maybe she IS a shit stirrer, maybe she is thriving in the drama.

But aren't most of y'all, too?

Polin fandom built so much off of putting down other women to uphold Penelope: Marina is a bitch who was TRICKING Colin and Penelope was just doing what she had to do!!! Of course she kept her secret from him, she was SCARED!!! Eloise is a privileged brat breaking the rules and putting herself in danger but Penelope is a rebel who is building her own success off of taking necessary risks!!!

Our good, Darling Penelope versus that evil whore Marina/Eloise/Cressida/Any Other Woman.

This fandom is predominately female. Most of us identify as women. And a lot of us are *mean* to other women. We uphold sexism in our fandoms, uncontested, as often as we please. But we frame it in criticism of a man and so that's okay- as if that in and of itself is somehow uplifting women, being tied to a feminist cause- but putting down other women in conspiracy theories and bullying them, as occurred to Jade, under the guise of 'oh I'm just criticizing Luke!' is disingenuous. It's an excuse. 'I'm mad at him for-' not being your fantasy.

And Nicola isn't, either.

The truth is, the people in this fandom don't have respect for EITHER of them, just in different ways. A pedestal is a pedestal is a pedestal, and no matter what, any human being will fall from it eventually. And this fandom has proven that when that happens, it will NOT be met with empathy.

Now think about who that will actually hurt in the long term.

A lot of people in this fandom have soul searching to do.

[1863-project]

Something I've noticed I do in my writing a lot is explore the idea of different ways to be a woman, and how so many of them haven't been deemed the "right" way to do it, which seems to have increasingly narrow criteria these days at any rate.

The three main female characters of 21st Century Unlimited follow that pattern too, with none of them really feeling like they can perform that extremely specific notion of womanhood and femininity that society values, but they all go about it differently and have different (complicated) feelings about it. Their experiences with race, sexuality, and neurotype also play a role here, because those elements are absolutely a factor in real life.

Engineer is specifically based on my own experiences as an autistic cishet woman with an autoimmune thyroid disorder. In her mind her interests and fashion sense are gender neutral, but society deems them - and by extension her - masculine simply by not being "feminine" enough. She dresses for comfort for the most part and is almost always in overalls or a coverall, and due to the nature of her work and hobbies she tends to get covered in grease. Her thyroid disorder has given her some weight gain that she's dysmorphic about because she thinks it makes her look misshapen or even pregnant, and that adds a lot to her body issues because she was already bullied growing up for not being able to meet that extremely specific standard of girlhood. She describes it as feeling like she was "bad at being a girl" as a kid. She doesn't wear makeup because of sensory issues and has huge eyebags because she's chronically fatigued and overworks herself on top of that, and refers to herself in the present as a "baggy-eyed train gremlin."

All of Engie's past life experiences - childhood bullying, being ostracized from train stuff as a kid because she was a girl, an emotionally abusive friendship in college - have shaped her relationship with the concept of womanhood in various ways. She consistently feels unattractive - "I'm the sort of woman men don't notice at best and are repulsed by at worst" - and is absolutely stunned when her crewmate Conductor reciprocates her feelings and they become a couple (whilst still acting like the best friends they actually are). It takes her a long time to get used to the idea that she's an acceptable woman, perhaps even an appealing one, because she's spent most of her life up to this point being told at nearly every juncture that she was doing it wrong. A big part of her story is about her coming to terms with all of this and learning to allow herself to just be.

In her mind, she wishes she was more like Fireman and Assistant Conductor in some ways, because they're able to do the things she can't. Fireman is able to just be herself without caring what people around her think and doesn't see the need to perform femininity at all. Assistant Conductor is deeply feminine and dresses the part out of work uniform, and people are drawn to her sense of style. Since she can't do either of these things Engie feels like she's in a sort of no-man's land with regards to womanhood and how she experiences it a lot of the time - she's too self-conscious to not care what anyone thinks, and she's too messy and tired and has too many sensory issues to perform for other people. She's resigned herself to invisibility, of having her gender essentially erased by other people, because she knows she can't be what people want her to be and there's no point in making herself uncomfortable to do it. She's already chronically exhausted, and at any rate she's still in a deeply male environment and she knows that if she does certain things in a feminine way there are still men who will unfairly perceive her as weaker or less competent. She knows she has to work twice or three times as hard for that recognition. In some ways, she contributes to her own erasure, because she has to carry herself the way she does to avoid being ostracized from her own field and to be taken seriously, but she also doesn't have the ability to perform femininity in the first place because it's an increasingly narrow social construct that she doesn't fit into.

Fireman, by contrast, has chosen to exist entirely outside of the construct of femininity, and she revels in it. Taller (5'7") and more muscular than Engineer is, she keeps her hair short and wild, has thick eyebrows that she has no interest in trimming or shaving, works the most physically laborious job on the entire train, and is crass, loud, and uncouth. (As late as her teens, she had long black hair that went down to her mid-back, but as an adult her hair is cropped short and dyed bright orange because no one believed her when she said she was half-Scottish and she got sick of it). She hustles men at billiards in bars and gets into fights. Her immediate family is generally used to this by now, although there is occasional friction between her and her mother, who expected less of a wild child - Fireman's Bengali mother has been known to refer to her daughter as "my child, Kali" before due to her destructive, chaotic nature - "she won't notice how carried away she is unless someone steps in to show her." Her Scottish father shrugs and jokingly attributes it to her Glaswegian heritage via his half of the family.

Fireman makes no attempts to disguise the fact that she's a woman, and indeed she identifies as one and isn't afraid to wear more feminine clothing for formal occasions, namely the tartan sari that she has to represent both parts of her family. Despite this, she is still not infrequently mistaken for a man until people notice her large chest, which she generally finds funny, especially if the person who made the mistake is flustered or embarrassed. She regularly introduces herself to people she doesn't know as "your favorite blazing bisexual butch Bengali" with the confidence of someone who expects to be well-known, even though she's well aware that these people don't know her at all - it's funnier that way. She makes no secret of her bisexuality and is open about the fact that she enjoys men who are weaker than she is, but likes women who "could kill her" (and says "anyone interesting" could catch her eye if they're non-binary). She doesn't see a need to fit herself into a little box and just chooses to live exactly as she is.

Arguably the fact that she's not straight gives her what she feels is more freedom in this regard, because she doesn't feel a need to shape herself for men's approval or acceptance. It is, however, a double-edged sword, because her extended family living elsewhere doesn't know what to think about her, and she often receives offhanded comments from older relatives about "settling down" and acting "more like a woman." She tries not to care about this, and she generally doesn't, but the comments do still hurt, because in her mind she isn't any less of a woman for being who she is, and she knows a lot of it is inherently tied to homophobia and societal mores. She purposely carries herself with a devil-may-care attitude to deflect as much of it as she can, but deep down she does know and she does carry it with her and it makes her dig in her heels even more. There is also the element of her non-whiteness, which means in the mind of many TERFs and others, she can't possibly be a woman, because she's big and strong and has brown skin. Femininity is often held to a standard of white womanhood, which means that even if Fireman was the most feminine member of the crew, she still would have an uphill battle to fight to be seen as a woman on par with the alleged arbiters of femininity.

Which brings up Assistant Conductor. AC is the tallest crew member at 6'0" even, and she has the slender, willowy build of a model. She's deeply feminine and loves fashion, experimenting with makeup in creative and fun ways with techniques she learned from her professional makeup artist mother. She takes her fashion cues from Japanese street fashion and has played with sweet lolita looks at conventions. When she's not wearing her uniform hat, she sticks huge bows in her hair. She loves all things cute, enjoys pink and pastels, and would perhaps be seen as the pinnacle of femininity by society...if she wasn't a Black lesbian.

AC's approach to womanhood is different from both Engineer and Fireman's, but her inherent interest in more "feminine" things doesn't mean she doesn't have to struggle to be considered "acceptable," either. In her case, both her race and her sexuality are factors - as a Black woman no matter what she does, even if she were to try to act "white," she would exist outside of the extremely narrow confines of womanhood that society has defined via cisgender heterosexual white women, because her features and culture inherently exclude her from that little "club." Moreover, the fact that she is a lesbian further removes her and others her, regardless of how feminine she actually is. AC ends up, not unlike Engineer, caught between two worlds, as although she is deeply feminine and clearly enjoys being a woman, she also suffers from femme erasure and is frequently falsely assumed to be heterosexual. She tries to deflect this as much as possible by mentioning that she has a girlfriend who works in the stationmasters' office and they live together, but her feminine nature means that many people dismiss "girlfriend" in this context as meaning simply "female friend" instead of "partner."

In the scheme of things, AC is easily the most stereotypically feminine member of the crew. She isn't doing the hard labor Engineer and Fireman are in the cab, and she's handling the passengers with serenity and grace (although this requires some heavy masking). Her ticket hole punch makes heart shapes. Her lipstick and eyeshadow are always perfectly matched and her mascara never clumps. And yet, none of that is enough, and she's on the outside looking in, too.

It's important to note that all three of these women are cisgender, as well. Were they trans, they would likely experience even more alienation from this extremely narrow scope of womanhood than they already do, but the fact that this definition that is seeping into so many places excludes many cisgender women - and, of course, intersex women regardless of how they identify - is a problem too. All three of these characters feel the way they do because American womanhood has been turned into an exclusive club by society, and if you don't meet the exact criteria, you don't get to be a full member no matter how you identify yourself or who you feel you are. Gender identities aren't only for the people who can perform them to your exacting standards, and these extremely strict definitions hurt everyone.

[sanestkanadefan]

Misogyny is so commonized in fandoms now a days and it's a big problem. A female can do something wrong and she'll be hated on, or called a pick me if she's outgoing or shy. Meanwhile, a man, who's committed several crimes, has done many wrong things, is seen as the innocent boy, he could do no wrong, he was just feeling silly.

Let me provide examples.

Danganronpa, Sayaka, a character from the first game/anime, is commonly hated for what she did. People often calling her a snake, a pick me, etc. Meanwhile, male characters who have done significantly worse things, Byakuya, Kokichi, Nagito are worshipped.

Hazbin Hotel, many people overlook the canon sapphic ship, for the not yet canon (yes I know husker dust will be canon later, I'm really excited to see their relationship progress) gay ships. Sexualizing a canon asexual character, shipping a lesbian character with a man, calling chaggie boring in comparisons to Husker dust, Radioapple or Vox and Alastor. As a lesbian, who is tired of all the Sapphic erasure, I can say wholeheartedly Chaggie is far from boring. I'm happy we got some representation that is not overly sexualized or watered down to just gal pals being gal pals.

Honkai Star Rail, I'm comparing 2 characters who have done something wrong for this. Sparkle, the mask that is controlling the body of a girl, once said racist remarks to Adventurine, causing people to hate on her. Meanwhile the girl, the body, the puppet, had no control, what the mask did was wrong, yes. But here's where the problem comes in. Dr Ratio, a male, who is loved by the fandom, also said racist things to Adventurine. If you want proof I recommend looking it up on tik tok, I can't remember the creators name but they made an amazing slide show about it. What I'm saying is it's wild how they hate on a girl who has no control over herself, but worships the ground that a male walks on, who has control over what he does and chose to say racist things.

Other examples are hating a female villain, but worshipping the male one. Everyone is all for women's rights until it comes to media, you're allowed to like characters but don't do incoherently sexist things like bringing the men up and bringing the women down for the simplest of things.

That is all thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[cursed-sonic-opinions]

Regarding the Sonic Generations changes, Amy fans in particular have been getting so upset about them. I personally don't care about things like Amy's character bio no longer mentioning her crush on Sonic because it's something that goes without saying. Ask anyone what they know about Amy Rose and they'll say "She loves Sonic". In Sonic CD, Amy's first appearance, before we learn anything else about her, she's constantly following Sonic and clinging onto him. Loving Sonic was her purpose for existence and it's what she'll always be known for. Making a female character for the sole purpose of being obsessed with a male character and having that be her only trait in her first appearance was certainly...a decision.

I think Sega kind of shot themselves in the foot here. This is different from, say, Princess Peach because being a damsel in distress isn't a personality, but something that happens to a character. Even though Peach was a damsel for decades, Nintendo still had the opportunity to give her interesting traits and allow her to grow out of the damsel role. It would be one thing if Amy was just a damsel in her first appearance, but she was also hindered by the fact that Sega made loving Sonic her defining personality trait on top of that. So if Amy's crush isn't at the forefront of her character 24/7 and Sega tries to explore other aspects of her personality, fans proceed to get pissed. As a result, the things Amy can do in a given plotline is limited because fans don't want her to do anything if it doesn't circle back to her infatuation with Sonic.

Some fans claim nothing was wrong in the first place and Amy's over-the-top clinginess to Sonic made their dynamic unique and interesting, but I beg to differ. It being "unique" doesn't translate to being "good" and many people found this behavior creepy and boundary-pushing instead of cute. The "girl obsessively chases after guy" trope may have been novel in the 90s, but it's practically a tired cliche in this day and age, and these characters archetypes are almost always never liked. In most cases, these characters are intentionally made to be unlikable (Panini from Chowder, Tootie from Fairly Odd Parents, Sierra from Total Drama Island) but Amy is a character that we're supposed to like. She reuinited a bird with its family and managed to convince Shadow to save the planet. She's a hero, but those moments of heroism were few and far between and vastly overshadowed by her obsession with Sonic. Not to mention that people are more likely to side with Sonic's viewpoint simply by virtue of him being the main character, so if he's shown to think Amy is just some weird girl, then most of the audience will too and not bother looking any deeper into her character. The main female character having that sort of reputation isn't a good look. They had to make some changes.

The thing is, Amy has demonstrated her love for Sonic so much that she doesn't even need to say anything for people to know. I'm fine with Amy's crush no longer being her main character trait. I can't help but roll my eyes when fans act like focusing on other aspects of her character is some egregious offense. Also, fans stupidly calling the changes "censoring" (which it's not) has caught the attention of right-wing grifters on YouTube and Twitter, causing them to freak out about Sega "g0inG WOKE! 😡" and all the other typical nonsense. So thanks for that.

.

[electraslight]

Gwen Tennyson is one of my favorite characters in anything ever but there's this pervasiveness in this fandom that shes. Well. A nice, good person. And I don't really like that, especially when shes absolved of her very clear faults to the detriment of other characters. Basically all of Gwen and Kevin's relationship is Gwen doing things to Kevin that, in a normal show, she would be made to apologize for, like rushing him into a relationship when he has made it clear he is not interested at that moment, trying to make him jealous and putting their whole team in danger (which is entirely put on bens shoulders and not hers), hitting him as a punchline for a joke when all Kevin's done is make a silly comment, calling him ugly, blah blah blah you get my point I've been over this a billion times. There are other characters who get the short stick too. In the episode where Elena pretends to be Julie and puts the alien trio under the impression that she ditched nationals to hang out with ben, sure as a friend you'd be worried, but Gwen keeps saying over and over that it's not like julie, she shouldn't put a boy over herself, telling her she made a bad decision, even when julie tells her no, I've made my decision, I don't want to talk about this. Gwen does not respect anyone's boundaries even people like Kevin, Julie, and Ben, who are supposed to be her friends. But people in the fandom characterize Gwen as sweet, kind, helpful, never in the wrong ever even when she is doing something horrible. Remember when people used to say that "Gwen didn't deserve kevin" not because of the constant belittling of his interests, lack of appreciation of his boundaries (see also: those scenes in Trade Off where Kevin repeatedly takes her hand off of him and she keeps trying to touch him anyway), and general nastiness, but because Kevin, who was at the time under the impression that Gwen was getting tired of him (wonder why he'd think that what with her calling him hideous every other episode) got groomed, assaulted, and enslaved. And that's his fault I guess because he's a guy and guys can't get abused. Gwevin is so good you guys the only problem is Kevin,the guy who left his entire support system to go live with his girlfriend, the guy who carries her bags and nonstop talks about how much he lives her when she can never muster up a word to say about him besides "He's nice" and "he's changed". Gwen is always in the right because shes a girl boss character who is not allowed to have flaws besides being stuck up or whatever, and it's totally OK if she needlessly suspects everyone around her and crosses the boundaries of basically everyone she talks to. Read me this: if you think female characters should be strong, why shouldn't you acknowledge Gwen's flaws? Why is it better to have a character who's kind, sweet, motherly, badass but only in ways that won't upstage the male main character, than an awkward, horrible teenage girl who loves people so strongly she strangles them, who's overly paranoid based on her own biases, who views her friends as projects she can fix, but God she is trying so hard. God, I'm begging you, please factor this in to your Gwen fanworks, I'm so tired of her being portrayed as a good person. Shes not a good person. Shes a 16 year old girl.

(Also sorry I talked so much about gwevin its just that Gwen isn't allowed to be her own person outside of men in this show)

[multbasa]

Can I just...the rapier and fencing is not more feminine than a broadsword...

I have no idea where these ideas of "feminine" combat came from including fencing and archery. Neither of those things were historically a woman's weapon so the idea that these are the feminine alternative to a broadsword or great sword is very odd to me. If anyone knows where these ideas originated, I'd be curious to know. The excuse I see is "women are weaker than men" which suggests that fencing and archery use less muscle which is absolutely hilarious.

Weapons are not male or female because anyone can learn how to fight—including fencing and archery. Fencing and archery doesn't require less strength than a broadsword, so they are not suitable for those who lack muscle. Anyone who uses these weapons regardless of gender needs to build muscle in the right areas to fight. Neither weapon can be given to anyone to simply pick up and fight with for the first time.

If you want a weapon that anyone could pick up, an axe is a better bet because it's easier to use (as many people have used one before) and can be a two handed weapon as well which allows someone to use twice as much strength than any one handed weapon.

There are also polearms that give someone a lot of reach as well as being a two handed weapon which, again, benefits those with less strength in their arms compared to single handed swords and especially archery (archers of either gender are absolutely BUILT). Wooden polearms are very sturdy, have a reach advantage and can be used to deflect blows which is all very advantageous for people who are less experienced.

I'll be real: I'm really tired of this idea of gendered weapons. A weapon is a weapon in the hands of a man or a woman; one weapon is not more masculine or more feminine and all of them require some sort of skill and the right built muscles. If someone is looking for a weapon suitable for an untrained and weaker fighter regardless of gender, then there are some options but they aren't archery nor fencing.

Anyway, if Echoes or Wisdom Zelda were to use a weapon, polearm Zelda or two-handed axe Zelda for the win.

...I don't think there's anything wrong or shameful for this Zelda to be a caster. If anything, the difference in playstyle means that we could see more playable princess Zelda games or see Zelda as a playable duo with Link rather than her just being Link but a girl. I don't think a female character has to prove herself to be "just as strong as a man" by wielding a sword because not being a swordfighter doesn't make her less capable.

There will always be morons who claim women can't do "this or that" based on sexism but a female character wielding a sword in a video game won't change their mind. Those people attack women who weight lift or work in male dominated trades regardless of how accomplished we are. We don't have to prove anything to morons like that because they will always move the goalpost. You can't argue with stupid so just ignore them/block them.

[snowswan-royalehigh]

Sexism in Remarried Empress

I think it goes without saying, Remarried Empress differently has sexism in it. I'd say it's almost hypocritical.

Starting off with Rashta. When I see slanders, It's mainly about her. The literal slave who couldn't refuse being 'the other woman' even if she tried.

However, I do not see enough people shitting on the male characters.

Anyways, fuck Kaufman, Heinrey, Alan, and Ergi.

'You're against the male lead??' Yeah. Lol. I'd talk about Sovieshit in this post but I have an incredible amount of anger towards him that deserves it's own post.

Kaufman's role is just the rejected male lead. He's more or a less a small plot device. I can forgive him a little for punching Sovieshit, but seriously, by giving Heinrey a love potion, without Heinrey's knowledge is uh.... well it's something. Especially how he made Heinrey vulnerable to Krista.

Heinrey is genuinely so flat. Honestly, his fake personality feels a lot like Rashta. I'm getting rather tired of poorly executed personality switch. It always did feel Heinrey was hiding something, but I feel as though he comes off as cartoony, with how he's basically a tripped up plot device.

Alan is a real piece of work, he's a 'good father' and all, but people ignore he was Rashta's abuser, or at the bare minimum allowed her abuse. He got her pregnant and let her see that corpse thinking it was hers. Also I don't think that Rashta could've consented (She was literally his slave) so it's got underlying undertones of SA.

Kosair isn't an antagonist either, but honestly, he's also an issue. I understand he was trying to help Navier, but trying to make Rashta miscarry? That was just wrong. And he also brought up Rashta's slave certificate.

Ergi literally ruined Rashta. Forcing her into tight spaces, exploiting her trust and encouraging her awful behavior and being a seed of paranoia. He uses her all the time, even giving out her information to her father (Who originally sold her into slavery. I want him dead.)

THE VILLAINESSES?

Krista, and Rashta. An abused slave, and a woman who basically went through the same thing Navier did, but I could even say it's worse. Marrying your crush's brother, who then promptly dies, and leaving you to basically fight for your throne. It's a little weird she liked Heinrey, whether that be genuine feelings, or just her coveting the throne.

But something I'd like to note is guess which morally dubious characters die. Rashta and Krista. Both of the antagonizing women who didn't really do anything. It just feels wrong that the only female antagonists are killed. None of the male antagonists/morally grey characters (who most definitely have done worse) It just feels overall sexist both women are able to get killed, but none of the men have to really suffer. It gives me the feeling of Navier vs entire female population.

[epickiya722]

While I won’t deny that there is some misogyny in Hori giving Mirko and his other female characters costumes that expose more skin (mainly for fan service) whereas male characters get costumes made from their dna so they don’t have to be half naked, people hating on Mirko BECAUSE of her costume is so laughable since her leotard is meant to look like the one-piece bodysuits wrestlers wear and her hero alias was even inspired by a real life wrestler

It is very damn laughable.

At most, the female characters do expose skin.

But the male characters also service fanservice, if not more. It's just that people are so use to male characters going shirtless during fights, I feel like it just flies over their head that some of those moments are fanservice.

Need a whole board to count the amount of time Midoriya and other male characters went shirtless. That one shot of Todoroki after he almost killed Midoriya after their match? Yeah, the way it's shot, even in the anime, that's fanservice. The costumes are tight, and there are scenes to showcase how tight to give emphasis on the muscles. Crust's costume exposes his abs and thighs and Vlad King's got a whole cleavage window.

That AFO scene when he regenerates his body and he's all buff and nude? That was fanservice.

That scene when Mr. Compress shows his face? Fanservice. Shigaraki and Dabi have became walking moments of fanservices.

What reason does Shigaraki actually need to be shirtless?? After season 5, he can't keep a shirt on. Dabi? "It's to show his scars." Oh, that, too! But it's obvious the team caught on that he has fans that want to lick him. Hence, his recent costume change.

If people gotta talk about the fanservice over Miruko, then bring the same energy for the male characters and the female characters more. That's what bothers me.

Miruko is designed to reference an actual kickboxer. Mirko Cro Cop is a real person (even referenced in the first chapter of JJK which tickles me because it was for Itadori, who is my other favorite. Yeah, Horikoshi and Gege read other's stories and are friends). If the wrestling gimmick wasn't clear enough, her backstory has her wear a mask like a wrestler does and she fights others... in a wrestling ring!! She fights like a wrestler!

So her costume actually makes a lot of sense! Both in the case of her fighting style and aesthetic.

Yes, some of the designs for the female characters could be a little better, but it's the amount of energy people want to bring to voicing their hatred about Miruko's actual pretty tame costume to everyone else. She ain't the only damn body in the story serving fanservice, so stop acting like she is.

And considering that Miruko is also a grown woman is always what make me even more confused.

In the case of Yaomomo and Hagakure, it makes sense people would be uncomfortable. They are still teenagers, just 16. I'm sure we all are tired of the teen girls being half nude for fanservice trope.

But Miruko? That woman is almost 30. I would expect for people to thirst over her just as much as they do the other characters. Grown women are allowed to be sexy.

Oh, my bad. Apparently not. I forgot how people get upset with women who are confident in their sexual appeal and want to show it off.

The same people who complain about Miruko being sexy are the same people who probably read smut posts about Bakugou.

The way the fandom acts towards Miruko is the point of my post from yesterday.

Y'all hate her costume, but don't mind it on your character for your obvious horny reasons. A lot of the fics and art was horny.

Call Horikoshi a "misogynist", but some of you ain't even no better because of your treatment of Miruko. If you're gonna complain about her costume being "too much", then I need to see that for almost every single body on that same post. People like to say "You're just horny for her", well, what's the problem? Same people who complain that Miruko fans find her attractive are the same people who find their own faves attractive and only that. Some of you probably can't remember your fave's favorite food or their birthday. So I'm trying see what's the problem.

"Oh, here's another Miruko butt shot."

That's the only butt shot you noticed? Hm... kind of odd to be specific about a Miruko butt shot instead of "Oh, here's another butt shot". Is it just me who smells the absolute bullshit that this fandom is sometimes? Just me? Could be just me.

And it's not even just the costume that bothers me.

[modernvictories]

In Blossom, Episode 13:

I think Episode 12 and 13 are the strongest episodes of the series yet (Episode 12 being superior in my opinion, but only slightly), and the writing considerably tightens in these episodes.

More below the cut. Spoilers included, obviously; proceed at your own risk.

I found myself irrepressibly charmed by the interaction between our second male lead and our first male lead in the beginning, and the insight into Pan Yue's past (the wounds on his heart finally revealed) was appropriately heart-wrenching; the mystery still isn't the best, but the investigative writing in this episode (12) is by far the most impressive of the things shared so far (in no small part due to the fact that they're investigating themselves, and not just interviewing people who coincidentally have the answers they're looking for and then going Eureka! while staring at scrolls or randomly thinking). I think it's no secret that In Blossom doesn't have the tightest writing when it comes to actually being a mystery, so the focus on the character aspects instead makes it a much more compelling story.

Our female lead continues to be the weakest point in the show to me (including her writing): I think her chemistry and compatibility with Pan Yue and Jiang is pleasant and much improved since she first met them, but her writing is inconsistent when it comes to her own character and her interactions with other characters, plus I think the lack of cohesion between how the two actresses portrayed Yang Caiwei doesn't do her any favors either. I'm liking Jiang more than I thought I would, too: his personality is playful, fun, and boyish, and I wonder if he's going to end up as an item with Yang Caiwei's other friend instead? They have very cute interactions and it does seem to be set up that way: I wouldn't be surprised if they ended up as an item.

I previously said I was glad Pan Yue's father didn't look to be an abusive monster (just a bad dad) during a previous episode discussion, but I'll have to take that back now: apparently I was too optimistic about historical fathers with illegitimate sons. My bad! For all I think that it's a tired trope, though, I was hoping for more angst, and it definitely delivered. It's so fascinating that Pan Yue's father doesn't seem to care for Pan Yue's mother or back up Pan Yue when he stood up for her despite his illegitimate birth and instead reprimands him when he refuses to apologize for defending his mother, because you notice that Pan Yue doesn't care about what other people say about him at all: but that temper and violence lashes out whenever people speak badly about people he cares about (like Yang Caiwei).

I also love how Pan Yue's propensity for violence isn't something that he manifested late in life because of Yang Caiwei's death: his method of defending the women he cares about in both past and present is strangling people who speak badly of them with his bare hands.

Again, though, I wish that Yang Caiwei was allowed more complexity: I love Pan Yue grappling with his trauma, his guilt, his suspicion, and his burgeoning feelings of affection towards "Shangguan Zhi" while still grieving, but Yang Caiwei's portrayal is widely inconsistent; she uncovers Pan Yue's grief before she clears him of suspicion (like finding their portrait in his locked box with a key he keeps on him, then saying that he probably did it to fool the public[??]), but once she realizes he's not the killer, she doesn't really think about it afterwards: I expected some more emotional impact from her figuring out he buried her where she wanted because he loved her, or some more grief about her affection for him after she decided not to tell him who she was because she thinks he's in love with the princess, but apart from that initial melancholy, she seems to be giggly, upbeat, and inquisitive around him. I anticipated some shock or emotional response from her: they only reunited for a few days, so she couldn't have known how deep his love ran; but now that she knows he genuinely cared for her, it's just unfortunate that she doesn't figure out the reason for his white hair or have any response to what she found out previously.

Various notes:

I hope Shangguan Zhi and Pan Yue's servants don't become an item; they're cute together, but I'm so tired of the trope where the main characters' second-in-commands/servants get together! It's basically in every drama I've seen.

That moment when Shangguan Zhi almost tells him who she is! And I can't believe that a traumatized, coughing, poisoned(?), still-injured-from-wolves, ill Pan Yue manages to smash a wall with his bare hands, carry Shangguan Zhi out of the dungeons, grieve his dead wife, and flirt with his close friend's sister while laying under the stars: the level of multi-tasking is insane.

The reveal of what the princess actually wants from him was also fascinating: I love that the princess isn't the obsessive female lead type that we're familiar with (see: Shangguan Zhi) but instead has a vested interest in protecting the natural interest.

And when is Pan Yue going to fire that coroner? There doesn't seem to be any point in him being there since he hasn't been able to do his job on multiple occasions.

[snnynatural]

NAME lumi

PRONOUNS she/her

MOST ACTIVE MUSES sonny always on both her blogs (this and @snnydcys), second would be kate ( @greatcstarcher ), third is minah considering i am trying to keep her active with her being my very first spn oc and she deserves all da love! ( @antiqsvchotic ), my spn multi is very low ( @thel0re ).

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS i don't even know. i will tell you one thing...i should not have been rping in the beginning stages since i was 13. how does one rp on youtube at that time?? ALL THE QUESTIONS!

FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT ooof.... depends on the mood. i would say with angst you will get longer replies from me cause OOOP. with fluff, i cry cause like... it is so nice to have fluffy shit and cry about it. now smut... i have to be comfy with the mun. otherwise i'm more eh.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES always depends on my mood. i prefer medium to long replies because it gives me something to work with. now when it comes to starters? i always start with one liners because i can never think of anything with my dumb dumb brain.

PET PEEVES oh boy.. prepare for a rant! god modding. don't do it, please just don't. superiority. i'm sorry, but we are all here to write our silly little muses. especially with canon characters.. yes, there will be many same characters but each one should be treated with love. no one is better than the other. allow people to write freely. don't make each other feel like you can't be on this hellsite or force them out. it genuinely stresses me out whenever i see it. ship hating. just because you are not a fan of the ship doesn't mean you're allowed to make others feel bad about it. let people ship who they want to ship and let them write their little characters. (unless it's any form of incest or stepcest then i will nope out of this conversation). spamming. i've been in a scenario where i was pressured to respond fast, being spammed every single second, and it was non stop to the point i didn't want to write. allow people to breathe and to get to you on their own time. whitewashing. as a poc, please don't do it. if you are unsure, never be afraid to ask! but don't belittle someone for reaching out to you to tell you that it is whitewashing. as long as both parties are being respectful. if someone is whitewashing, do not attack immediately. just give a little nudge and let them know. ignoring female muses. as writer of only female muses, it gets disheartening. especially when the female muse is oc and poc. love your female muses like you love your male muses. they deserve recognition. fc collecting/muse collecting. my friends have fallen victim to this and watching them feel crushed?? not okay with me. no one is a collection. everyone deserves to have fun. not having a conversation. with this hellsite, it's hard to tell certain tones. it's childish to not have a conversation. as much as it's scary, have it. you never know how freeing it could be. --- i can go on and on but we don't have all day

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE honestly? i think in a way. we both tend to spread ourselves too thin and give our all to everyone. if we're also adding canon sonny, same applies along with being treated poorly while also expecting things to be done for everyone. even when we're tired or in the worst possible mood, we still try to help in any way we can. idk other similarities, but sonny is def my comfort character and i can see some of myself in her.

TIME TO WRITE currently, it's been hard with how my mental health is going. when i write, it's usually because i'm in the mood. i do not force myself to write if i genuinely can't. so i write when i want and not when i don't want.

tagged by @kindofuneven <3

tagging youuuuuuuu

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Khadijah La Musa

Published: Feb 13, 2024

Is anybody else perplexed that in 2024, we can't choose our race? Is race not also a social construct? Why is gender the only identity that is allowed to be fluid? 

Why can’t we be trans-millionaires and demand that our bank accounts reflect the way we feel on the inside? Why do we still make multiracial people choose a box? Why do we assume people’s race and thereby make assumptions about how they think, how they vote, and how they see the world?

I’m tired of it. I’m tired of being judged by the color of my skin and not by the content of my character.  

Sometimes, I don't want to be racialized. Some days I wake up and I'd rather not be “black”, or a “BIPOC”, or a “person of color.” Sometimes, I just want to be… me. So, I've decided to release myself from the shackles of race. I no longer consent to being tied to the social constraints of the arbitrary notion of race. I'm tossing my black card for good. 

I was assigned “Black” at birth. All babies are pretty much the same shade of pink at birth, so there’s no way my race was even observable at the time. I had no choice in the matter. I’m not sure if my parents did either. 

Back in my days as an undergraduate at a super liberal university, when I identified as a black feminist, people would ask me, “are you black first, or a woman first?” Ten years ago, I would have replied, “I’m black first.” I was so loyal to my race. Black. Blackity black. Being black gave me a great deal of pride and a whole lot of other things I carried unconsciously. Being black made me angry at the world – made me feel obligated to hold certain political views – and made me feel like a victim. Being black made me feel paranoid – like someone or something was always out to make my life more difficult.  

Today, if this same question was asked, I would reply, “I’m a woman, first and foremost.” Even though we in the West have regressed so far from nature, and allowed males to penetrate the female sex class, and colonize womanhood to fulfill their desires; I know that in reality, I am a woman. I can go anywhere in the world and be seen as a woman. I can connect with other women as a woman from any race, class, or nationality and they would understand me, and I, them. 

If I traveled back 2000 years in time,  I would be a woman.

Today, If I woke up and declared that I am now a man, I could go to the doctor and get my breasts removed under the guise of gender-affirming care faster than I could go and get a breast reduction due to debilitating back pain. I could get my ovaries removed to affirm my manhood faster than I could get my tubes tied for not wanting to become a mother. 

Today, If I woke up and declared that I no longer identify as black, I would be shamed and ridiculed. I would be called “crazy” – accused of self-hatred. A race traitor. A coon. A bedwench. A Pecola Breedlove. 

It makes me wonder why we, as a society, are so adamant about removing gender from its biological roots but hold on to racial stratification for dear life. Haven’t we spent years trying to undo the social ramifications of racism, but now, we’d rather attempt to divorce gender from reality. It makes me wonder if something more nefarious and deeply sinister is at play.

Regardless, I don’t want blackness anymore. I gave up my blackness when I decided to not vote for Biden in 2020. I don’t think I’ll ever vote for a Democrat again. I don’t know how to play spades anyway. I have no rhythm. I prefer to eat with chopsticks. I married the father of my child. I wear Blundstone boots in the winter. I feel so pretty when wrapped in a Sari. My daughter has a Japanese name. Once, I even shared an ice cream cone with my dog. 

I think my ancestors were just regular people. Not slaves, kings, or queens. 

I don’t listen to degenerate hip-hop music. I won’t be first in line to fight against the oppression of others. I don’t hate capitalism. I don’t care about what black celebrities are doing. 

I’m giving up my blackness. Nobody gets to tell me who I should hate. Nobody gets to tell me who I should love. Nobody gets to tell me what I should be mad about. Nobody gets to tell me what I should be interested in. 

I’m tired of being emotionally manipulated by the media. I’m exhausted from my energy being siphoned to fuel popular culture. 

Just let me be myself. 

Despite my beautiful, flawless, melanin rich, collagen fortified skin – I’m not black. I’m not indigenous. I’m not a person of color. I’m non-racial. Just like all those people who are non-binary – the people who aren’t men or women, male or female. I’m non-racial. 

Non-racial. It rolls off the tongue even better than “non-binary”. 

I don’t subscribe to any race. I’m just a human (of the female variety, because that matters a great deal in the whole human thing). I’m an adult human female. Formerly known as a woman. But now women can mean anything. A woman is anybody who identifies as a woman. Huh?

I’m not magical. I’m not better at sports. I’m not strong and independent. I need my man, and I need him to be male. 

I identify as a non-racial, joyful, clinically sane, adult human female. 

If all identities had the special privilege of fluidity, I’d totally be a trans-millionaire. 

It’s not fair that gender is the only identity that has the privilege to be fluid, changeable, and discardable. But race, the ultimate social construct, is expected to be unchangeable, and rigid.

[n-evermores]

“Besides, you’re still in love with your old girlfriend.”

Let’s talk about this trope. I see this often with older male characters, and my only question is why? It’s so tiring and honestly, a little silly. And this is not me trying to diminish real feelings that teenagers can have. Many people marry their high school sweethearts and live long happy lives together. But you also grow together and build a life with one another. It’s very different.

If my math is correct, Joy and Parker dated when they were 15/16 years old. They went their separate ways their junior year of high school so they were probably 16 when they broke up. Our brains don’t fully develop until we’re about 26. Parker and Joy, even at 21, would be very different people from who they were at 16, and even more so at 26. They’re like 60 now. It’s safe to say they are strangers at this point.

This trope is so unhealthy to me, and usually painted as romantic by writers. Him not able to have a healthy long lasting relationships with women because he’s still obsessed with his high school girlfriend is not romantic. One could argue it's toxic. Honestly he needs therapy because this has to be some form of trauma. Yet, the writers love using women for male pain, and this isn’t any different. You’ll never see them write a female character incapable of having an adult relationship because they can’t get over their old flame, because they don’t use men as plot devices like they do with women.

It’s like when ALL of Gibbs’ relationships and marriages failed because he couldn’t move past Shannon. I totally understand this for him because they built a life together and had a child, (but it’s still unhealthy) As we get older the way we love changes. We mature and so does the way we love and how we love matures with us. There’s no reason Viv had to compete with a ghost from his teenage years. It’s downright silly and kind of unrealistic if we’re being honest.

I love Joy as a character and I love the actress. I feel like the writers need an excuse to prevent Parker from being happy just as they did with Gibbs. And I hate that. A part of me wishes they used Joy’s actress as Viv (I wasn’t too fond of the actress they used. Perhaps it was the way she was written or portrayed, but I’m not a fan), and just gave us a slow burn of him getting back with his ex wife of many years. I feel like that’s the direction they were originally going in until they retconned it with the Joy plot line.

And when Constance broke up with Parker, I felt sad for him, and then suddenly she hits us with the “you’re still in love with your old girlfriend” line, and I just eye rolled so hard. Like why? It’s so stupid. It pulled me out of the story and I love Parker, I do, but it kind of ruins his character for me just a little. It’s just weird. Like you were a child when you loved her, you haven’t seen her since you were 16. Move on, my guy. Move on. I just know a man wrote this into his story, that or I want to know who’s 14 year old child went into the writing room and suggested it. Because it’s silly.

Also just to reiterate that they usually don’t do this with women: Joy herself is a good example. When Parker asked if she was over him, we never saw her response. Clearly, that conversation didn't go in his favor because nothing came from it. Most likely, she rejected him. However they did allow Jimmy to fall in love again and be in a healthy happy relationship after his wife died, but Parker can't get over a girl he dated at 16? It's just a badly written plot and a trope that needs to die. It's not romantic, its not cute. I'm not sitting at my tv and going, “awww, he's stuck in his past which is preventing him from having healthy long lasting relationship, so sweet and romantic.” Yuck no.

Also please note this is not me hating on Parker. He is one of my favorite fictional characters ever. I adore him. This is just me complaining about NCIS writers. I love the show to pieces, but when it comes to characters like Parker and Gibbs, they love to throw these toxic tropes at us. One of those tropes being unbridled anger = masculinity (hello old wounds.) Anyway. Rant over ha ha.

TL;DR: Unless you have an unhealthy obsession, real people don't stay in love with the person they dated at 16, especially after 40-something years. That person would be so far from your mind. It's unrealistic and I wish writers would stop using this trope to prevent characters from happiness or having any healthy long-lasting relationships.