#All I'll Ever Know
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seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything
#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out#i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity#but me i like to chill out.#and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed#at the thought that others might want to see me working#if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do#catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries#for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day?#or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk#not in the slightest#but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior#that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation#this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age#and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative
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I have been working on this piece for AGES aajsdfjkndf AUGH
I just! I just want Wally frog catching with his bestie to exist into the world dang it!!!! The idea of him slowly catching frogs and running straight to Barnaby to show him is one of my favorite things to think about. Now I can beam such an idea into yalls mind with the power of art I spent too much time on
#welcome home#welcome home fanart#wally darling#barnaby b beagle#welcome home arg#welcome home puppet show#partycoffin#wally darling fanart#wally welcome home#welcome home wally#wally darling welcome home#my art#please please please I put my soul into this#I dont know if I'll be doing pieces with this much quality much at all if ever again#but I needed to. At least once. Make fanart for welcome home that poured all my love into#I hope you can see it#my love#finished this while it was storming where i live#immersive lol#oh to be a small frog slowly scooped up by wally
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Yeah I would like to have uhhhhh whatever the hell these two have got going on
#I know we're all boopin rn but well I've got vampires on my mind. how about that#vtm#vtmb#vampire the masquerade#vtm oc#veilguard is coming out in a couple of hours but my brain decided it's the perfect time to get obsessed w vincent & pepper again#THOUGH. ACTUALLY. tbh. I don't think the obsession ever really left#they're always on the back of my moind 🫠#how much do you wanna bet that I'll be playing veilguard and like 1 hour in I'm gonna be like#'I wish vincent & pepper were here........'#IDK WHAT IT IS ABOUT THESE 2 they're like cocaine to me#oc.pepper#oc.vince#ship: viper#sleepyscribble
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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 3: Enveloping Feelings.
(Part 1, Part 2, Part 4)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#Yungmeng Jiang training arc AU#I wanted to try out a different paneling style for this one - sorry I'm a day late! (there will still be a post tomorrow to keep on track)#The original 3 panel comic idea was fine but the point of this new schedule was to take time to push myself a bit more.#I was taking a look back through some comic artists I felt inspired by#and I really loved how Lynda Barry fills her gutters with patterns and doodles!#Obviously I'm not going as absolutely wild with it as she does but it was a great exercise!#I truly think the gutters are the most important and most overlooked part of any comic. There's lots going on in that space.#It's the same with timeskips. The implied movement between moments that we don't see changes depending on how wide that gap is#You're here for the funny tags so here's some that ties this time talk together:#I think LWJ was thinking about that second note from day 2 but it took him 7 days of hazing to commit it to paper.#I think he sends it a day later and immediately regrets it. Chasing down the messenger and everything.#You know if something actually happened to his brother he would never ever forgive himself for putting the bad vibes out there.#Third time skip was the hardest because there was so many possible flavours of jokes here. Day 8/9 was a personal favourite.#day 14 was also funny (week by week). I think the debate on 'how long does lwj take to catch feelings' is more or less:#'how long does it take for him to arrive at a particular stage of grief and yearning (and awareness of it all)#This is a symphony. There is an act by act structure. Every day he is fighting to keep his old sensibilities. He is losing so badly.#(I'll be returning to the main comic soon but there is more of this AU to come!)
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anyone remember when a zionist on twitter recounted an incident that they claimed had happened on october 7th but turned out they were lying through their teeth, and even worse, the reported incident was actually from the sabra and shatila massacre? anyone keeping count of how many times zionist pigs rehash the vile, cruel things they've done to palestinians only substituting themselves in as the victims of the story? isn't it remarkable that any evidence of examples of the incomprehensible evil and violence that they swear by to justify everything they've done since october always turns out to be distinctly absent from reports of october 7th, and always present in reports of daily palestinian life for decades now?
#rationally i understand what goes into shaping up human beings this disgusting but i don't think i'll ever fully grasp it#how can your heart and soul be so fucking filthy#to inflict suffering of this magnitude and then project that bloodthirst on your victims#using their very own testimonies to lie about them. fucking how do you become this disgusting#read about sabra and shatila. all of it every gruesome detail you need to know
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#was looking for some fics with these two#I imagine this is one of their first interactions and Hunter is already fed up with Darius#but Darius is just trying to get to know the successor of his mentor and check if he's at least a little bit capable of doing his job#he's also a little weirded out by the similarity between these two#basically I imagine Darius gave him a couple of vibe checks that Hunter had failed#and Hunter takes it as questoning his place in the coven#god darius design is so pink and awful#it's so jover uni starts tommorow#it's like the most boring drawing ever but I'm just still in my I have to get better at backgrounds era#and also if I'll draw 100 awful things I get a decent one eventually#it's like inktober but lasts your whole life and devours your soul in the process#no caption just pure tags now I understand those few people who keep reblogging all my tags cuz I give all the fucking context there#there's probably like 10 things I would spot tommorow that would fix the drawing a whole bunch but I just ...don't want to ig#the owl house#sheerak#the golden guard#darius deamonne#hunter toh#toh hunter#hunter deamonne#toh fanart#the owl house fanart#dadrius#not yet but#you guys most fellow toh fanartists moved on and fanart fiona and cake but I keep brainrotting the same stuff over and over#good old toh trashpile
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I love you messy artstyle i love you visible brush strokes I love you textures and rough edges I love you imperfections I love you roughness and colour blobs I love you scratchy sketches and bold stylisation and dirt and imperfections I love you ugly and raw emotion!!!!! ❤️
#i talk sometimes#art talk#i made a tweet like this on twatter ages ago but i've been feeling this a lot lately#also this is the start of me writing more on this blog and not only using it as art because who cares!! i don't!!#I wanna translate raw emotion into colors and shapes. I wanna know where to ignore all details and where to go ham you feel me?#i used to dream about developing a style like for MtG where it looked like a masterful oil painting that oozes realism and details#and i've realised the last two years or so that I would actually hate that for me. I know I wouldn't enjoy doing it. For myself.#it's that pipeline from wanting to be the perfect realistic wotc artist to accepting that I will never be that#instead i wanna learn how to stylise better and get a good brush economy going yknow. I wanna be bolder.#i doubt i'll ever be as incredible as all these MtG artists no matter what anyone says. but it's ok!! i don't have to be!!!#i just luv art man!!
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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Sorry, last one, swear!! I'll try and finish this by the 10th and then I will leave you all alone. I'm experiencing some long missed joy in creating this, please forgive my impatient excitement
#Just need this to be done already but its not so I just need to share one last bit of it to keep myself motivated. Please understand#Mercy... Thank you for all the support though but I'll express more of that at the end of this#scarian#desert duo#trafficshipping#trafficblr#those pink forest backgrounds are like the only ones I remotely like in this entire animation#but I'll try to redo and improve some of the others before I dare show them to the public eye. My backgrounds suck ass#seriously though wahhh I am so miserable but alas... the joy of creation#sorry for speaking like this is my magnum opus and everyone needs to look at it. I just dont know when I'll ever create smth like this agai#to me this means a lot#too many tags#tubby art
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i forgive you
#grian#goodtimeswithscar#desert duo#3rd life#trafficblr#咸鱼.jpg#forgiving my friend is the closest i'll ever get to fully accept her passing#i know why you did it but i love you all the same. per sempre migliore#📕
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AUGH I’d love to see more time looping odile if possible,,,,, how do you think she’d like; “devolve” over each of the acts as compared to Siffrin over time :O
ok im gonna be honest i did like portrait edits months ago and just never finished them. so here you go
act 3:
act 5:
#some of them are still missing... I'll edit this post if I finish them as well#isat#isat spoilers#odile loops au#day 108#isat odile#i'm too lazy to individually export them in transparent atm...#tell me if yall ever need it#edit: I FORGOT TO ANSWER THE QUESTION#I mean yeah technically the portraits work but I do have Thoughts about this#I just think that throughout the loops odile becomes more. annoyed. and irritated#Like by act 3 fighting isn't really amusing anymore#dying/getting frozen is. ah. welp#But by act 5 she's just speedrunning#Just super irritated. like die already i've got variables to test#act 3 frozen is a momentary rest; the break is nice and she knows she can get back next loop; it's fine. act 5 is ugh seriously#tired. annoyed. unamused. what a waste of time#anyways wait how long has it been since I posted#(sees date of last post) OH. um#sorry guys I've been busy job (internship) hunting#will I post more from now on? No promises <3#Thank you for sticking around nontheless... I appreciate all the stuff yall send in my inbox <3#isat au
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Im curious...
#I CANNOT FIT ALL OF THE CITIES I WANT#but im curious#bc i know the answer and I'll tell me if youve ever been there lol#reblog for sample size amen
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Main 4 + Astrology
DBDAtober Day 6 -> Stars insp
#dbdatober#dbda#dead boy detectives#payneland#palasaki#edwin payne#charles rowland#crystal palace#niko sasaki#save dead boy detectives#dbda edit#my gifs#this is the first gifset ive ever posted#feeling brave in this chilis tonight#tumblr always eats my quality but oh well#if anyone has any tips for that tho let me know#i've still learning so i'll take all the advice I can get
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Having bpd to me is like I'm the loneliest person on the planet, no matter how many people I talk to, no matter how many connections I make or have, I'm a lonely void who will die alone. I have to be talking to someone or with someone every second of every minute of every day. I love people so much, I need people. There's so many people out there with different things to teach you. And then, if I have to talk to one person for more than 6 seconds today, I'll kill them. I'll kill myself. I need to be left alone for the rest of the day, I need no one but myself to be happy. I don't want to partake in anything with anyone because it's all draining and taking out of my alone time. Everyone is the same, they're all boring and self-absorbed. Every conversation feels like I'm forcing myself to be actively present. I just want to be alone in my room with nothing or no one. I don't see a future where I'm happy with anyone other than being by myself.
#bpd#bpd vent#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#actually borderline#bpd splitting#lately I've just been slowly moving away from all my friends too#haven't spoken to anyone on insta for days despite usually talking to at least 2-3 friends every few days#irl sent me a video a week ago...never responded. I haven't even been feeling lonely really#I just KNOW when my period creeps up on me I'll be a whining sad piss baby who's openly pathetic about needing human connection#like I wish I just felt no need for it ever. it feels SO good to be alone and not have any obligations as a person#then the crippling loneliness of forever being alone seeps in when tbh I'm fine with it currently actually
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Bonus 8: How met your mother (CSSR design by @qourmet!)
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#cangse sanren#wei changze#jiang fengmian#It was important to me that WCZ had the hereditary mole. I will die on this hill.#I have been *waiting* for the day to finally arrive when I could finally make this comic. It's been marinating for months.#My mission is to redraw all of qour's character designs one day. They are just *that* good.#CSSR has the vibes of a wandering menace who shows up in towns like a stray cat arriving at a new doorstep for treats. 10/10.#While YZY strongly leads us to believe that JFM was in love with CSSR and that's his whole motivation behind taking wwx in-#-I do think this is (once again) rumour being presented as reality. It's the juicer story to tell after all.#It is still possible that he did love her! But I think that story undercuts the relationship he also had with WCZ.#Yall ever think about how JC and WWX parallel their fathers? How Wei Changze also left the Jiang Leader's side? I do.#Unlike JC though It is far more hilarious and plausible to imagine JFM begging to be CSSR and WCZ's third. You know he would.#My wild headcanon is that JFM and YZY are in a mlm and wlw arranged marriage situation. Deeply unhappy as partners. Better as friends.#they care for each other and I'll admit that there is a beautiful tragedy in them having romantic feelings for each other the whole time.#But I am also here for the gaffs. Let them be unfulfilled homosexuals together.#Meanwhile cssr and wcz are having incredible hetrosexual sex in a bisexual way that WILL leave him pregnant by the end of it.
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I love how you draw Grim the size of a small cat. It genuinely blows my mind that according to the game he's actually approximately 70 cm tall... Like, Ortho is 148 cm. That's only two Grims! If Grim stands on Ortho's head, they'd be just a bit taller than Malleus (who is 202 cm and I'm not sure that's counting the horns)! The proportions are just so wild to try to imagine realistically... (and I do like the small cat Grim take more, it's very endearing)
every time I remember Grim is actually supposed to be the size of, like, a medium-to-largeish dog, and then I just...draw him cat-sized anyway. I also think it's cuter that way! 🤷 (let's just say he's not allowed to ride the servant unless he takes the shrinking potion first.)
ultimately I figure we all get a little artistic license in our fanart, and mine are:
cat-sized Grim
Lilia with hair spikes up to the heavens
w i d e Silver
#twisted wonderland#as far as i can tell this is not a furret situation and that 70cm does not include his tail#grim's just a big boy#a big boy who needs big helpings of tuna to sustain his giant head#(waiting for him to pull a persona and crack open to reveal a handsome anime man underneath)#i do like wide/buff silver too even though i know that isn't really canon#(i'll argue for buff sebek but silver i think is supposed to be more wiry/people are constantly surprised by how strong he is anyway)#i just...like the contrast of Two Big Guards for lilia the excitable twig and malleus the long wet drip of a man#and as long as jack remains the widest in the land i figure it all evens out somehow#(if i remember right malleus' height does include the horns) (and i think jack's includes his ears and hair which is even funnier somehow)#(i have seen some attempts to figure it out but i don't think there's ever been an official answer on height without their sticky-up bits)#(looking at the height chart mal looks about the same height as the twins and jack very slightly shorter. but that's just eyeballing it)#(don't ask how the 1cm difference between jade and floyd factors in i don't know)
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