#Alfred is the funniest dc character

[farshootergotme]

Batman is a disney princess confirmed.

[jonathan-samuel-smith]

I think that Jon likes Naruto and Dami is just writing a shoujo is the funniest thing ever

Like Dami would look at shonen and "yep, my parents are fucked up too" or "based" (he also like shonen but he's not too fanboy over it) because he life is a mess, he family have a lot of problems (the all are a bunch of crazy people, they all love each other but still...)

And then he just opens a shoujo because "oh I wish my life was simple like that" and Jon is just "... do you want to talk about it Dami?" "Yeah They're finally holding hands" and Jon is just very worried about this bat

Dami likes shoujo and slice of life stories make so much sense, he really likes these domestic life stories where nothing bad happened

DC has the opportunity to put the more edge Dami possible after Alfred and Ra's dead but here we have Dami, hugs his cow and reads things as Kimi ni Todoke, Skip and Loafer, Say I love you and stuff

I also believe Dami would love Vinland Saga (former child soldier gives up of violence and starts a farm) and things like that

(in the start Jon was happy because he had something to share with Dami, but now he just worries)

Idk I just want to share this though with someone

Absolutely!

Jon reads shounen because he likes stories where what's bad is obvious to nearly everyone and they can actually do something about it. He likes the teamwork and friendship because he's lonely. He likes the excitement because he's from a small town. And then it becomes something familiar, a friend to him. I don't think Jon just likes it because Ninjas are cool, I think he probably sees it as a microcosm of society and human behavior, to some extent.

Jon likes the idea of being brave and facing things head on. Damian knows that some things it's better to just walk away from.

Shoujo is his way of studying human behavior, it's the kind of interaction he's never been party to and it's the perfect escapism for one that lives such a dramatic life. I think he and Jon watched The Devil is a Part Timer together when it aired. Jon loved the brief action sequences but Damian adored the love story and the once-villain now getting to live an every day life and be content. He probably related to the main character. I think Jon loves wholesome moments so he was pretty happy with it.

I think Damian starts reading slice of life Yuri because he relates to the gayness of it but comphets himself into thinking it's because he likes girls. But you can take or leave that headcanon.

I think part of why Damian likes Jon so much is because he's so sturdy and dependable and Damian craves stability whereas Jon loves the vitality and vibrancy of Damian, who is capable of bringing out his best and his worst, who shows him new and exciting things, but who is ultimately there for him when he needs comfort even though he never thought to ask for it. Jon is ordinary and stable like a shoujo manga and Damian is exciting and cool like a shounen manga.

I really love the idea of Damian trying his hand at being a mangaka/manga artist and he's writing shoujo and he shows it to people and they're like "why is the male love interest like Jon and the female love interest like you?" And he screams at them and goes to change it but he can't bring himself to change it too much because he likes it as it is.

He goes "Damn it. I don't care what they say, this is just good writing. I'm finishing it like this."

When he shows it to Jon, he finds himself uncharacteristically nervous for some "unknowable reason".Jon fawns over it and asks Damian to draw him a poster of the main girl because he thinks she's so cute, and he wants to hang it up in his room and look at it every day. Meanwhile the girl literally looks like Damian with makeup and a sailor fuku.

He briefly becomes obsessed with Damian's oc and draws fan art and infodumps to him about headcanons and they're all things that Damian cut out about her that made her more like him and Jon's talking about how she's so cute and he would love to date her. Damian's thinking "I wish I was a girl. Then I could date Jon and we would be so happy. But I'm not so I'll just move on with my life I guess." (This is not an egg Dami moment in my story but if you'd want to write trans Dami here go for it)

Then later Jon comes out as bisexual (the poster is still up in his room next to his bi flag but he's not obsessed anymore) and Damian literally cheers out loud and Jon's like "oh my friend is happy for me!" And Damian is having gay panic "WHY AM I SO ELATED ABOUT THIS?!" and he realizes he's in love with Jon, and now he's embarrassed that his brothers were right and he was writing about Jon.

--

One day Damian starts a conversation:

"So, Jon. Do you remember Suzuki Amaya from my manga I wrote in 8th grade?"

"Yeah! I love her." Damian's heart skips a beat. "Remember when she almost killed that guy who tried to mug Hishiro? Hishiro didn't even need the help but he was just turning into goo over her saving him and so was I! I mean it's really sweet in a fucked up kind of way, you know?"

"I..." Damian pauses to clear his throat. "I wrote that story about us, without ever really intending to... because when I think of slice of life I think of it as warm and comforting and domestic, and when I think of home... I think of you. It's always been you."

"Oh thank Rao I'm not the only one who thought Amaya was just like you. She always acted so cute and seeing her happy just made me so happy too. I wanted to be Hishiro and make you happy like he did for her but... I mean... I didn't know-- you like guys, right? This is a confession?" Jon asked, looking for confirmation.

Damian scoffed. "Yes, you idiot. I like you. How else do you want me to say it?"

Jon released the tension in his body language. "Any way is fine as long as you're the one saying it. You know I like you better than Suzuki, right? Cause she's not you. You're you. And you're... amazing. Really, Dami, I mean it. I love everything about you. Even the things I dislike about you I like, because I associate them with you. You're my morning star. My guiding light, you--"

Damian talks through a smirk. "Your son-of-two-writers is showing. I love you too."

Jon smiles. "Can I kiss you?"

Damian had been sitting perched on the backrest of the couch and he clambers down to sit next to Jon, their knees brushing. Damian nervously balls his fists up in his lap. "I've never done this before. Can you give me a moment?"

Jon nods. "I guess my secret's out, now. You know that when I said all that embarrassingly mushy stuff about Suzuki I was really talking about you... I was such a cringe pre-teen. Oh Rao, I kissed the poster on her cheeks when I was pining after you... look at you getting red, you're so--" Jon is cut off by Damian knocking his teeth into Jon's in a botched attempt at a kiss.

Jon lovingly places his hand over Damian's cheek and uses it to guide their faces to slot together nicely as they share their real first kiss. It's closed mouth, warm, soft, they can feel short soft stubble where their faces meet. Damian remembers to close his eyes and just feel. He forgets that he doesn't even know what to do with his hands. He forgets all the worries he had about Jon rejecting him and their friendship ending. They break away.

"I think I'm going to have enough material for a second book." Damian tells Jon.

---

So there's my minific, I think I'll come back and polish it up later. I hope I did your idea justice! Thanks for the ask! Come back anytime.

[zahri-melitor]

DCU Holiday Bash III #1

World's Finest Christmas: a Superman and Batman story. Toyman creates a giant Captain Adventure robot to fight Superman and Batman. (Clark had Captain Adventure as an action figure as a kid). During the fight the house of the Lattems gets flattened. Clark suggests doing something for them as it's Christmas, Bruce points out they have each other which is a lot more than some people have.

"Do it your way, then...and I'll do it mine."

Superman rebuilds the house and brings his own supplies to do it.

Batman sends Alfred on behalf of the Wayne Foundation to offer Mr Lattem a job designing toys for needy children.

The Joker's Twelve Days of Christmas. This is actually excluded from the DCUI copy of the issue, and after glancing at it I hmmmm am wondering why. Too violent? Too many lines crossed?

The one fascinating point for it is Joker mentions TWO dead sidekicks, here in 1999. Is he dreaming? Counting Barbara? Optimistic?

Heathen Ways: Diana, Artemis, the Sandsmarks and Jason Blood. Cassie Sandsmark is the tiniest human being in this story. She looks about 8.

Diana and Artemis argue over her participation in non-Themysciran rituals for a religion she does not practice. Diana says it’s about family and ritual and gifting. Artemis is mad about celebrating another religion’s holy day when the Greek gods are dying.

So Diana and Artemis have a beat down fight “just like the Solstice Day contest on Themyscira”. Awwww.

Alone for the Holidays: Robin. This story always makes me laugh, as it's one of the few times we see Jack leave Tim with no supervision. Jack and Dana are in Chicago and their flight home gets snowed in, so Tim's all on his own for Christmas. Right until he gets a message from Oracle that there's an emergency, and heads to the Clocktower to find... Babs, Dick, Alfred and Harold having a Loner's Christmas Party. The funniest part is of course that Bruce isn't present.

Home for the Holidays. Set in the Slab. Mark Scheffer (Shrapnel) arranges to break out of the Slab to see his wife and twin daughters for Christmas, after they don’t visit. The other characters in the Slab are definitely a mix of ‘oh it’s that guy’ D listers.

I really like this piece for a few reasons - humanising those incarcerated and the villains of DC, and also showing that telling a good story doesn’t rely on familiarity with the characters involved. That isn’t as common as it should be, in comics.

An Eye for Detail: Batlash. Batlash stops by a cottage and finds a group of crooks trying to get an old man to sign over the title to his farm. Batlash beats them up and then kisses the man’s hot 20ish year old daughter.

No Bart, There Is No Santa Claus. Our real Santa story!

I love Bart and Max together. So much. They’ve just got such a special dynamic in their mentor-student relationship.

Max realises Santa sounds like a standard superhero to Bart and despairs.

Oh Max.

Anyway Bart manages to give everyone he can find a promo of the game he’s desperate to get for Christmas. And all his own presents. Since Max has told him that it’s the thought that counts.

And when he gets home with Max…Santa has been and left new presents!

[amethystroselily]

The funniest addition to Batman lore that I’ve learned about since getting back into dc comics is the whole Ghostmaker thing. Like, apparently Batman has a childhood (well, teenagehood, but that’s not a word) bestie who is pretty much him but worse that’s he’s just really hung up on who keeps showing up just to break up with him, and decided to reenter his life right after Alfred died (also that’s new to me) and his plans to marry Selina fell through? Amazing. Sounds terrible for him. I love that.

And weirdly enough I feel like that fleshes out Batman as a character more than almost every other add on to his lore I’ve seen.

[fandomunsexyman]

A Chainsaw Man and DC Crossover would be the funniest example of the “x character gets adopted by Bruce Wayne” trope because of the possibilities of a Batfamily and Hayakawa friendship. Depending on where in the timeline it is it only gets funnier.

Bruce Wayne adopts them and is like “I hope they’re getting along with everyone 🥺🥺” and Denji’s full throttle attempting to kick Jason in the nuts during their first sparring match. Alfred is socializing Dick and Aki with each other like two cats. Damian and Power are bonding over being animal people. The Rogues Gallery is terrified.

[musikat18]

Longer Thoughts About The Flash 2023 Now That I Have Slept Once

Non-spoiler thoughts first, just because.

I think the average moviegoer will have fun with it, because like. Even I was pleasantly surprised (kind of) about how the movie actually went. Christina Hodson is a really good writer, and the fact that she was able to get something coherent and in brief flashes even compelling out of such BROKEN foundational material is a real testament to her abilities. If you're really just looking for a kind of entertaining time travel movie with familiar beats, this will be good for you.

I think, ultimately, I was never really sold on the premise of the movie to begin with, so it was hard for me to fully enjoy it as a DC fan. It's a very controversial storyline to tackle as a First Flash Film, it's not very easy to adapt to begin with, and as a piece of the DCEU or even the broader spectrum of the DC Multiverse it's even more controversial in many ways because of the broader context of the franchise it finds itself in. There are so many pieces both in the movie and outside of the movie that can't just let it BE a Flash movie, which I think really kills any hope of it being above mid to me at the end of the day.

Anyway Reader Beware Spoilers Under There

This just a highlight reel of random thoughts I had during the movie itself:

As much as I hate how many non-Flash characters get time in this movie, I will never be sad about seeing Jeremy Irons Alfred or Gal Gadot Wonder Woman, thank you for your service y'all enjoy your future projects.

The very FIRST second Barry went into the Speed Force I was like "oh that's neat" and then the REST of the Speed Force happened and I haven't physically cringed as hard since Emma Watson's autotune in Beauty and the Beast.

I can't believe they found a way to make Batfleck's suit both better AND worse than the DKR suit from the Snyder films. Also I take back everything I said about Batfleck being one of the best Batmen we never got, I don't know if it was just the writing or the performance he went with here but I think it's better this way I donot want to see Batfleck again.

I desperately want to send Kiersey Clemmons a really nice gift basket or a card because this was the most SET DRESSING ONLY Iris West they could have gone with. The DCEU has done her so dirty. The only reason Iris is here is because people would be in arms if she didn't show up ONCE. And I'm so mad about it, actually.

I'm actually glad the movie didn't just pretend Cyborg was never in JL-- I was glad he at least got mentioned in the search for the other JL members.

Speaking of, thank you to this movie for sneaking in a little Arthur in there at the end. I hope he and Barry had fun at their slumber party.

I actually really loved their Supergirl here, too-- she's much better than the Supergirl from the CW, she feels a lot more like Kara should, and I really hope for Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow, they bring back Sasha Calle, because as little as she gets to work with, she's very good in her role.

I don't wanna talk about Michael Keaton too much because I frankly still disagree with the amount of Batmen we have in this movie, but he's still fun to watch and still really good and I'm mad about it but I commend him.

Also, speaking of Batmen, I think the funniest thing this movie could have possibly done was only imply Batfleck and Batkeaton and ONLY show Clooney Bruce at the end. That cameo got the BIGGEST reaction out of ANYTHING in this movie, AND IT DESERVED IT.

I would have liked one Flash villain. Just one. Maybe in that opening sequence we could have had like a Trickster or a Top or a Rainbow Raider or a Girder. Someone who isn't going to get their own main villain billing ever but who would have made this Flash movie feel more like a Flash movie.

I think that's all I have for now BUT as I think on it more I'm sure I'll have more thoughts.

[barbie0303]

I posted 152 times in 2022

74 more than in 2021!

68 posts created (45 %)

84 posts reblogged (55 %)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

seekingxanadu

danny-chase

incoherentbabblings

hood-ex

dick-nightwing-grayson

I tagged 152 of my posts in 2022

#dick grayson: 88 posts

#nightwing: 56 posts

#lol: 39 posts

#31dod: 32 posts

#askdbrjxks: 25 posts

#bruce wayne: 17 posts

#robin: 15 posts

#batman: 15 posts

#slade wilson: 12 posts

#tuesday spoilers: 12 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#we could have had ra’s being like ‘oh this guy isn’t willing to keep up with me because we don’t know each other and he doesn´t give a shit

My Top Posts in 2022:

5

31 Days of Dick (Grayson)

Day 20. Dick and Alfred interaction. 

Nightwing: Alfred´s Return (One of the times Dick calls Alfred his best friend)

See the full post

273 notes. Posted: March 20, 2022

4

31 Days of Dick (Grayson)

Day 24. Moment of the funniest thing Dick has done.

Robin: Year One #3

Dick leaving a "Bad Guy" note on Mr. Freeze

See the full post

343 notes. Posted: March 23, 2022

3

31 Days of Dick (Grayson)

Day 01. Robin/young Dick panel.

Dark Victory #13

Dick smacking the Joker’s face with a staff before he was Robin

See the full post

400 notes. Posted: March 1, 2022

2

31 Days of Dick (Grayson)

Day 30. Panel of the dynamic duo (whichever you prefer)

Batman Confidential #16

I kinda like this outsider POV about Bruce and Dick and that even people who don´t know them can see why they are the original Dynamic Duo

429 notes. Posted: March 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

DC showing Vampire!Dick today:

Fans:

1283 notes. Posted: March 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[fenrir-wolf-of-gotham]

What I think of the Batman main cast in a nutshell.

Bruce Wayne: Fun but he’s a bit overexposed right now. The best thing they could do with him now is lean into his fatherhood/mentorship role and ease off the gas.

Alfred: Not my favorite. Not my least favorite. He’s good but honestly dying was the best thing the writers could have done with him at the point he died. He’s either one of the wisest and funniest characters (see Batman Begins) or he’s just kind of… there (see BtAS).

Dick Grayson: Fun but being a cop for a while is a detractor. Not my favorite, not my least favorite.

Barbara Gordon: She’s best as Oracle. She’s been seen as Batgirl but now we need to see her evolve and change. Make her disabled again and let her be Oracle rather than Batgirl.

Jason Todd: They’re also not letting Jason grow. He’s had some good moments but at this point he should have grown past his role as “the edgy one”.

Tim Drake: Way too bland right now to be everyone’s blorbo. He’s sort of become stuck due to his ageless nature. In the 90s he was a rock n’ roll loving nerd. He’s slowly lost that and has become known as “the smart one” despite smartness being a requirement for the Batfamily.

Damian Wayne: Fun little guy. He’s been flanderized by the fandom into just being a little demon who loves animals but he’s more than that.

Duke Thomas: I don’t know enough about him but he’s cool. I need to learn more about him before I form an opinion.

Catwoman: Can we do something else with her character besides just, “isn’t Bruce Wayne hot”? If I ever become an editor at DC, BatCat fans should be aware that’s like the end times for you guys. That relationship will be dead by the next full moon.

There’s more but that’s all for now.

To those wondering why I left out Cass and Steph…

Just read the description of my blog.

[batmanshole]

One comment said yes so here we go

starting out with batman well. i think he could easily be transmasc or amab and nonbinary. either one of these is awesome and i love everyone who thinks hes trans in some way. he/they/it pronouns and if hes transmasc he got the best bottom surgery known to man. has top surgery scars but no one can tell because he has one Million other scars and he kept his nipples.

dick grayson like i said. hes transmasc he/they and he chose his name to be so fucking funny. the reason the discowing V was so low is to show off his top surgery scars. i dont think he got bottom surgery but i think he has a large variety of fun packers that he chooses from. some of them match his outfits. no one but him will ever know and thats ok.

jason is cisgender because i think this is the funniest possible option. he/him, maybe he/it. i like trans jason head cannons too but i think every group needs a token cisgender loser (this is not me hating i love him a lot but i like to bully him)

tim is genderfluid ok? he/they/she pronouns and awesome about it. likes long skirts sometimes.

duke is a trans guy also, he/xe pronouns. maybe more. got top surgery and had a hard time deciding if he wanted to keep his nipples or put cool tattoos there instead. wants bottom surgery but hasnt gotten around to it yet. teases jason about being cisgender alll the time

barbara is transfem, she/they/it pronouns. i rbed a post awhile ago about trans barbara gordon by @bat-besties , you can read that here and its a great read!!

damian is nonbinary and gnc. isn't really into the labels that much, but goes by he/she/they. likes dresses. awesome about it

steph is transfem also. she/he/it pronouns, worlds silliest girl ever. doesn't let cis people use he/him for her, only she/it. trans people can use the full set of pronouns though. her and duke are the first ones to pull out the "you hate trans people." card and they do it together.

cass isnt big on labels but likes she/they and doesnt fully feel like a girl but also doesn't feel like anything else either. its complicated for her but shes ok with that. not cisgender though.

alfred is a she/him bigender and i will NOT be accepting any criticism at this time, thank you.

BONUSES: dc characters that arent bats

superman / clark is like, hes got space transgenderism. dont ask me how this works it just does okay? he/xe pronouns + a few other pronouns that sound like kryptonian ones. do you understand me?

kori / starfire is a trans woman. she/her only. also space transgenderism but in a different way

roy harper is transmasc, he/it. no further comments.

do you guys wanna hear my transgender bat family headcanons

[out-of-context-batfam]

Batman and Robin (2011) Annual #1

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[crows-murder]

I posted 8,829 times in 2021

229 posts created (3%)

8600 posts reblogged (97%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 37.6 posts.

I added 1,226 tags in 2021

#911 on fox - 426 posts

#tim drake - 124 posts

#batfam - 113 posts

#dc comics - 95 posts

#batman - 85 posts

#jason todd - 85 posts

#batfamily - 84 posts

#dick grayson - 76 posts

#911 spoilers - 70 posts

#damian wayne - 68 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#it's so much more interesting and intriguing when it's 'these characters are going to fight to survive and the stakes will only keep on ris

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

the funniest thing ever is Jason Todd calling Bruce "dad" purely to get anything he wants because Bruce is emotionally constipated but is a Big Softie underneath and calling him "dad" will literally get him to agree to everything and anything.

does he use this knowledge and power for good? no. he is the middle child and Jason fucking Todd he a chaotic bastard and calling Bruce dad can and will get him out of being grounded

2018 notes • Posted 2021-04-08 05:35:19 GMT

#4

The Batfamily as cursed cat images I have saved on my phone

Bruce

Alfred

See the full post

2383 notes • Posted 2021-03-23 18:22:34 GMT

#3

lmao this fandom is so starved for wholesome batfam content we got this webtoon legit 3 hours ago and we're all going absolutely feral and i'm absolutely loving it

2566 notes • Posted 2021-09-08 20:12:00 GMT

#2

I dont watch supernatural but I have tumblr so I can never escape the spn drama

Anyway have a meme.

3751 notes • Posted 2021-06-26 13:03:18 GMT

#1

i asked my sister to name the members of the Batfamily

See the full post

7382 notes • Posted 2021-03-21 18:26:12 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[magical-girl-coral]

For the hc meme- Karin Kurosaki & that red mask mfer Batman takes under his wing. Idr his name bc I'm very new to DC 😬

First of all, thank you for the funniest description of Jason Todd that I have ever heard. Secondly, ON WITH THE SHOW

Karin Kurosaki

1: sexuality headcanon - Bi, like her father and brother before her.

2: otp - Don't have one, but always open for crack ships.

3: brotp - The Kurosaki family

4: notp - Karin with any of Ichigo's friends. I don't know if it's a thing and I don't want to learn the hard way.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head - Karin used to keep her hair short when she went through a "I'm not like other girls" phase. Thankfully, it grew out along with her hair.

6: one way in which I relate to this character - The way she wants to protect her family but fuckery keeps getting in her way.

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character - How Kubo just. legit forgot she existed for a short while. 8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? - cinnamon roll

Jason Todd

1: sexuality headcanon - Bi ace.

2: otp - Jayroy or Jaytemis

3: brotp - Jason and Alfred

4: notp - Batcest

5: first headcanon that pops into my head - Jason and Selina both love classics and often see which one remembers more. Jason leans towards tragedies while Selina leans towards comedies.

6: one way in which I relate to this character - His inferior complex and his deep need for drama.

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character - OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS. I'VE BEEN BAMBOOZLED 8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? - problematic fave

Send me the name of a character

[sonderwalker]

DC, for the ask game 👀

Thanks for the ask!

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) Honestly, this is probably a tie between Tim and Bruce with Jason being a close second. Although I do think about all of the robins pretty regularly, Tim is my favorite one at the moment.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) Ace omg. What a good dog. Top tier dog. Good on Bruce for rescuing Ace. I love Ace. (i also tend to not like dogs but I HAVE MADE AN EXCEPTION)

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) Cass and Steph. 100% those two. I love them?? I really love Cass and Tim's relationship as well

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) Alfred the cat.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) Honestly?? I think my favs align with a lot of the batfamily fandom pretty well so I don't think I have a controversial fav.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) Tim Drake. Kid lost his spleen. It's so easy to write whump about him. Also Jason Todd. I just like making the middle robins sad I guess (maybe it's because Tim and Jason are my favorite robins...)

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) the joker. I hate this dude. I don't even have enough respect for him to capitalize his name in this reply. fuck that guy (read that in a New Jersey Accent.) ask me about a fandom in with what is probably the funniest ask game I've ever seen.

[girlywholikesninjago]

All four Lego movies: Worst to Best (may be some spoilers)

4. Ninjago Movie: I hate to say it, but this one was the worst out of all of them. I liked it, but compared to these other masterpieces, it isn't fantastic. I think the main reason I didn't love it was because watching all the ninja be mad at Lloyd and at one point choose Garmadon over Lloyd was really hard. I didn't enjoy seeing Lloyd so embarrassed and cast out, not by society, but by the only people who actually accepted him. Moving away from that, I did like how all of Ninjago was scared of him, that was kinda funny. Wu and Zane were also icons throughout the whole movie. Lloyd was precious and when him and Garmadon bonded throughout the movie, my heart warmed, it was beautiful. The Ninjago Movie I'm pretty sure wasn't as successful as the other three and it makes sense why. The other ones aren't seperet Lego franchises like Chima or Ninjago, Batman is DC and the other two were its own thing. People probably weren't very interested in a movie based around a show originally made for kids.

3. The Lego Movie 1: What a fun and exciting movie, iconic. It's one of those movies you can just rewatch over and over again. I don't really know why I don't like this one as much as the second. I think it's cause the second one is just really unique. This movie is incredible and I absolutely adore it. It introduces great characters and a great plot line. Emmet is a cutie and I would die for Batman and Benny (I think that's his name). I love seeing all the different worlds and how creative everything is. The storyline of Taco Tuesday is funny and creative. Spectacular movie, 12/10.

2. The Lego Movie 2: Magical. The songs in this movie are absolute bops and I live for them. Emmet is such a sweetie in this movie and Wild Styles secret past was a unique touch. The apocalypse at the beginning was really funny. Emmets house he built was so cute and my heart melted during that scene. Rex was a cool character and (spoiler) and the whole thing that he was future Emmet was insane. The use of real life and real people in this movie was more effective than the last movie. I don't remember a lot about it, but I just remember under a table (idk). Also the use of Duplo was cute. The ending was great and fun. 15/10, adored it.

1. The Lego Batman Movie: This movie was just hilarious. Batman was so funny and Alfred was iconic. The message about family importance was really cute. Robin is best child (besides Lloyd) and will forever remain in my heart. There isn't a lot to say about this one, it was just the most enjoyable to watch. It was charming, funny and overall just super entertaining. The main reason this is number one is because I laughed a lot in the theatre and remember it the most clearly (which must mean something). Funniest Lego movie of them all.

Overall, every single one of these movies are great and I recommend all of them.

[yeahawvampire]

Specially if you're talking about fanfic with comic characters.

Because:

There's no such a thing as a timeline in comics.

Deadpool is supposed to look forever in his late twenties (or early/mid 30's it depends whatever shit you consider canon) but for some reason artists keep drawing him in his 40's even tho canonically he's not older than 38.

Damian Wayne was introduced in the DC universe when he was 10 and his older brother Tim was 17. Now he's canonically 14 but for some reason Tim is still 17.

Same thing with Jon Kent wich was introduced when he was 10 and Kon kent 17. He's 18 by now, being called Superman, while Kon (his older brother/cousin/uncle) is still 17, being canonically younger then Jon and still called Superboy.

Bruce wayne is supposed have raised 4 children by himself since they were 10 (after 5 years of being Batman alone). The oldest is in his late 20's and the youngster is in his teens. But SOMEHOW Bruce Wayne is still supposed to be 35.

Harley Quinn met Joker already in her early 30's and if we consider that she was around at the time of the Jason incident (who is 21 now). She should be (at least) in her late 30s by now. But for some reason almost every iteration and art style depicts her as if she's still in her 20's.

We can't even begin to figure out how old Alfred is supposed to be.

Or Joker!

Frank Castle originally served in the Vietnam war, wich would make him as a vet 55 to 97 years old. But, guess how old he is in the comics? mid to late 30s.

And you wanna know the funniest shit ever? He calls Deadpool "Kid".

So yeah there's no such a thing as canonically timeline in the comics, not even the DC and Marvel themselves give a shit so why should do you? In the end of the day time is a blurring concept and Canon is whatever floats your boat.

Fun fact, in fanfiction we can do whatever we want, including completely ignore the canon “timeline,” if we can even call the hot mess of canon anything resembling a coherent timeline.