#Aka back when we actually WERE heading towards renewal

[saltpepperbeard]

why would david be suddenly ramping up his activity on social media...

why would so much of it be related to the show...

why would he not be stopping the clown train from leaving the station...

why would it be happening so close to october...

why would the cast and crew also seemingly be in on it...

why would it be intensifying and getting more and more suspicious with every passing post...

...if there was NOTHING behind it.

[prouvaireafterdark]

Petrichor

aka the long-awaited Sad Buffy Fic™️ 🐶 This got smuttier than I’d planned, but what else is new lmao

Also: Canon compliance? Don’t know her (I also don’t fully understand the schematics of Alex’s house, but let’s just pretend I do).

Also on AO3!

(Oh, and Happy Season Four Renewal!)

***

“Your dog’s a little weird, dude.”

Alex sighs. “Yeah, I know.”

Outside, his beagle Buffy has been frantically running around and barking at the air for the last thirty minutes. There’s not a squirrel or bird in sight.

“Is she always like this?” Kyle asks, turning away from the window that faces Alex’s backyard to look at him.

“No, usually she’s pretty mellow,” Alex says, passing him a cup of coffee. He takes a sip from his own mug to stall before he finally admits, “She only gets like this when it rains.”

“Huh,” Kyle says, considering it for a moment before he adds, “Layla always hated the rain. Remember when we used to have to bribe her with peanut butter to get her to go on walks if it was too cloudy?”

Alex remembers. Kyle’s childhood German shepherd was usually fearless, but put her near any liquid that wasn’t in her water dish and she’d run with her tail between her legs.

If only it were that simple with Buffy.

“It’s not the rain that’s making her do that,” he explains, looking down into his mug. “Well, I guess it is, but not—not like you’re probably thinking.”

Kyle processes that a moment before he speaks up.

“Are you gonna tell me what’s up, or am I gonna have to guess?”

Alex sighs again. “She misses Michael.”

Kyle looks skeptical. “How do you know?”

Because I miss him too, is on the tip of his tongue, but Alex hesitates. As melancholic as the rain makes him, he’s not interested in spilling his guts over it.

“Because Michael smells like rain,” he says instead. “It’s an alien biology thing, apparently, but you probably would know more about that than I do.”

“Oh my god,” Kyle says, eyes wide and sympathetic. “Are you saying she’s looking for him out there right now?”

Alex nods. “She’ll give up in about an hour, but, yeah. She smells rain and she thinks he’s home.”

“That is so fucking sad.”

“I know,” he sighs, and turns around to go find a seat on the couch.

“Like, Sarah McLachlan in those ASPCA commercials level sad,” Kyle continues as he follows him, taking a seat on the other side of the couch. “Wait, did you guys adopt her together? Like, as a couple?”

Alex considers how to answer that. “No. We were together—I guess as much as we ever were—when I got her, and he went with me to pick her up from the shelter, but she’s not—he didn’t adopt her with me. He was just around a lot when I first brought her home.”

“Mmm, I see,” Kyle says, understanding. “Maybe you should call him.”

“What?” Alex asks.

“You know, invite him over,” Kyle says, like it’s obvious. “Ask if he wants to come play with her a little.”

“What?” Alex asks again, looking at him like he’s grown a second head.

“Look, I may not be a veterinarian, but you don’t need years of specialized training to see that your dog misses her dad,” Kyle says.

Alex raises an incredulous eyebrow.

“Well, her other dad,” he amends a moment later.

Alex shakes his head. “He’s not—That’s ridiculous.“

“Is it? He was here when she was a puppy, man,” Kyle counters. “They’ve clearly got a strong bond if she’s missing him that bad.”

Alex knows he’s right, but… he can’t just call Michael and ask if he wants to come play with Buffy.

Sure, he and Michael have been on good terms lately—great, even, now that they have a common goal and have learned how to actually communicate without having two totally different conversations.

But, months ago now, Michael asked him to stay away. He told Alex he didn’t want to be with him anymore, that it hurt too much, and Alex understands that, really he does, and he’s been trying so hard to maintain the boundaries Michael wants while still being there for him any way he can.

And if he invites Michael over right now, it won’t be because it’s something Michael needs from him. It’ll be because it’s a miserable, rainy day, and Alex and his adorably stupid dog miss him.

And if Alex is being honest with himself… he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he calls Michael and Michael says no. Not right now, not when Michael’s absence in his life, in his home, feels like an ugly, gaping wound.

“Just think about it,” Kyle says. “You never know, maybe he’s been missing her too.”

When Kyle leaves an hour later, Alex registers the quiet and realizes Buffy’s stopped barking. Finally, he thinks, until he goes to the back door and sees her slumped up against the glass, looking absolutely fucking miserable.

“Fuck,” he says, with feeling.

He opens the door and scoops her up off the ground. She’s a little wet from the start of the drizzle, but once she rests her head on his shoulder and huffs despondently he can’t bear to put her back down. He takes her over to the couch and draws the blanket around the both of them, hoping he can cheer her up with enough kisses and pats.

With the smell of Michael so thick in the air, he’s not surprised it doesn’t work.

He stays there with her until hunger beckons him toward the kitchen to make both of them dinner. When Buffy won’t touch her kibble, Alex scoops some leftover grilled chicken, rice, and veggies from his own plate into her bowl. It works, thankfully, but when she’s done she curls up on the floor with a sigh and Alex’s heart breaks just looking at her.

He ends up lying down on the floor next to her, his head cushioned by a pillow he dragged off the couch. The rain really starts coming down outside then, and Buffy starts to whine.

“I know, baby girl,” he says, curling more tightly around her. “I miss him too.”

He’s not sure how long he stays there before his phone buzzes in his pocket. He fishes it out to see a text from Kyle.

Did you call him yet?

Alex sighs and rolls onto his back, his hip aching with the movement. He stares at the ceiling for a long moment, weighing the pros and cons, until Buffy huffs a huge, sad sigh again and he just can’t fucking stand it anymore.

“Fuck it,” he says to himself and takes out his phone again.

He doesn’t end up calling Michael. Instead, he texts him a picture of Buffy without a caption.

His phone vibrates a minute later.

Aww, why’s my girl look so sad?

Alex isn’t proud of the noise he makes when he reads that. He types his response, then deletes it, and then types it again. Nerves coil tight in his stomach when he sends it.

Kyle seems to think she misses her other dad. Wanna come over?

Alex drops his phone on his chest so he doesn’t stare at it. It’s another long, long minute before his phone buzzes again. He takes a breath before he reaches for it.

Michael’s reply is just three words.

On my way

Buffy barely lifts her head up off the floor when there’s a knock at the front door. Alex walks down the hall to answer it, massaging the tight muscles in his right thigh as he goes. He straightens up when he reaches the door and opens it to find Michael standing there, looking gorgeous as ever in a dark green flannel that’s unbuttoned practically to the middle of his chest, his curls a little damp from the rain.

“Hey,” Alex smiles, stepping aside to let Michael in. “Thanks for coming.”

“How could I say no to that cute face?” he replies, but the way Michael looks him over as he says it makes Alex wonder whether he’s actually talking about Buffy.

He doesn’t have long to ponder that particular nugget of information, though, because once Michael’s voice carries into the house, Alex hears the frantic sound of Buffy’s nails scraping his hardwood floors. Michael gasps a little theatrically when Buffy rounds the corner, barking as she barrels toward him at full speed down the hallway.

“Hi, baby girl,” he coos, crouching down to her level.

When she’s finally in front of him, she spins in excited circles at his feet, barking and panting while Michael pets her everywhere he can reach. It takes her a minute, but eventually she stops moving long enough to prop herself up on Michael’s knee so she can alternate between licking his chin and staring up at him with abject love and affection, her tongue lolling out of the side of her mouth.

It’s the happiest Alex has seen her in—God, he can’t even remember. He’d feel a little put out about it if he didn’t understand it on a deeply visceral level. When she looks up at Alex as if to say Look! He’s back! Alex can’t help but bend down to pet her too.

For his part, Michael seems similarly affected. “Oh, I know, baby, I missed you too, I missed you too,” he’s saying with a wide smile. His eyes are wet when he looks at Alex and Alex’s throat grows tight with feeling.

Did Michael need this as much as Buffy did? Alex wonders when Michael breaks eye contact.

“Oh god, uh, Alex?” Michael says suddenly, pulling him from his thoughts. “I think she had an accident.”

Alex spots the small puddle beneath her when Michael gets his hands under her arms and lifts her up onto her back legs.

“Shit, I’m sorry, hang on,” Alex says, making for the kitchen. “Make sure she doesn’t step in it!” he calls back on the way. He grabs the paper towels and some cleaner from the cabinet under the sink and heads back into the living room. “Sorry, she’s just excited,” he explains when he gets there.

“So I gathered,” Michael says, but there’s no hint of annoyance in his voice or on his face.

Alex cleans the mess quickly, and by the time he’s thrown out the used paper towels and washed his hands thoroughly Michael’s found himself on the couch in Alex’s living room. He’s lying back against the couch with Buffy on his chest, scratching right behind her hears as he talks to her.  

Seeing them like that reminds him of the first week they brought her home. He has a photo of the two of them sleeping on the couch together, her tiny head stuffed under his chin, and Alex’s heart aches remembering it. He wishes he’d been strong enough to tell Michael what he wanted. Maybe if he had, Michael wouldn’t be rebounding from his short-lived relationship with Maria and Alex and Buffy wouldn’t both be missing him so fucking bad all the time.

“Alex?”

“Yeah?” Alex asks, realizing he’s been standing there in silence for a few minutes.

“You okay?” Michael asks as he gives him an assessing look, his hand paused on Buffy’s back.

Alex realizes this is the first time in a long time that anyone’s asked him that.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he lies, on instinct more than anything else. “You want something to drink?”

“I’d love a beer,” he says, and Alex welcomes the opportunity for a tactical retreat.

“You got it.”

He collects himself in the kitchen while he grabs two beers from the fridge, uncapping them before he walks back into the living room. Alex hands Michael his beer on his way to sit down on the other end of the couch.  

“Thanks,” Michael smiles as he takes the bottle Alex offers. Buffy sniffs the bottle when he goes to take a sip, but Michael holds it out of reach and explains, “No, this isn’t for puppies.”

Alex can’t help but laugh as he props his left elbow on the back of the couch to watch them.

Michael takes a long pull from the bottle and then sets it down on the end table next to him so he can keep petting Buffy uninterrupted.

“She really did miss me, huh?” Michael wonders aloud, as if the very idea that someone would is novel or unbelievable.

“Of course she did,” Alex says, placing his beer on the coffee table and scooting closer so he can pet her with his right hand. He doesn’t quite realize until it’s too late that he’s put himself right next to Michael, his right bicep almost brushing Alex’s chest. He studiously keeps his eyes on Buffy as he adds, “She loves you.”

Out of the corner of Alex’s eye, he sees Michael’s mouth turn up in a soft smile. “I love her too.”

They chat idly while Buffy soaks up Michael’s attention—Michael tells Alex all about a new experiment he’s working on with Liz that has exciting implications for something Alex would need at least two astrophysics degrees to understand, and Alex shares that he’s been keeping himself busy with music again, much to Michael’s delight.

After years of going back and forth between fucking Michael and fighting with him, it’s nice to just talk to him for a change.

The conversation makes its way back around to Buffy when she shuffles her way up Michael’s chest to fit her nose right under his chin, her eyes drifting shut for a nap. When Michael laughs and drops a kiss on the soft patch of fur between her eyes, Alex’s finds the strength to take Kyle’s advice.

“Look, I, um,” Alex starts, shifting on the couch, “I was actually thinking maybe you could… come around sometimes. To play with her.”

“What, like visitation?” Michael asks with an eyebrow raised. “I get joint custody on the weekends?”

Alex can’t help but laugh. “You make it sound like she’s our kid.”

And, wow, he should not have vocalized that thought because as soon as the words are out of his mouth Alex is hit by a whole fucking wave of feelings he does not have the time nor the ability to unpack right now, and by the look of it so is Michael.

“Hey, you’re the one who called me her dad,” Michael points out, a second too late for it to sound completely casual.

“Technically, Kyle did,” Alex flushes, but gestures to where Buffy is snuggled into his neck, finally at peace. “But look at her. She misses you.”

“Just her, huh?” Michael asks, so quietly that for a second Alex thinks he’s imagined it, but then Michael’s hand slides down from the back of Buffy’s neck to cover Alex’s own where it’s resting on her back.

Alex’s mouth goes dry. He chances a look at Michael, and what a fucking mistake that is because Michael’s honey-gold eyes are staring right at him and Alex forgets how to breathe.

“You miss me, too, Alex?” Michael asks, something that sounds a little like hope in his voice.

Alex looks at Michael for a moment, his head and heart at war the way they always are when it comes to him.

“Yeah,” Alex finally admits, a bone-deep exhaustion hitting him as the confession crosses his lips. “I do.”

Michael nods, processing that. “I miss you too,” he says after a long minute, his thumb stroking over the back of Alex’s hand, and Alex fights against the urge to pull his hand away because this doesn’t just feel important, it feels fucking monumental, but how can he even think with Michael touching him like that?

“Stop,” Alex begs softly. “Please. If you don’t mean it, or if you’re not ready, I need you to stop.”

When Michael doesn’t say anything, Alex closes his eyes, the inside of his bottom lip caught tight between his teeth to keep from losing it. He’s felt like he’s on the edge of something all day and Michael sitting here, teasing him with the offer of more, it’s just too much.

Alex feels Michael let go of his hand, feels Buffy disappear from under his palm, hears his leather couch squeak under Michael’s shifting weight and fuck how has he fucked this up already, he’s barely even said anything—

Alex flinches when he feels the warmth of Michael’s palm against his cheek.

“Alex,” he whispers. “Open your eyes.”

Alex does, swallowing hard as he meets Michael’s gaze, his eyes shining with tears.

“I mean it,” Michael tells him, his expression sincere.

“You do?” he asks hesitantly.

“Of course, I do,” Michael says, leaning in to gently knock their foreheads together. Alex’s heart aches at Michael’s closeness, the familiarity with which Michael touches him. He never thought he’d get to experience it again. “God, Alex, I miss you so much I can’t breathe sometimes, I—”

Alex closes the distance between them without a second thought, finding Michael’s lips as warm and soft as he remembers. He pulls back a second later to apologize for cutting Michael off, for moving too quickly when he’s not even sure what exactly Michael wants, but Michael just makes a hurt noise low in his throat and follows after him for another taste, and then another.

Michael presses further and further into his space until Alex’s back hits the couch cushions with a soft thud, the top of his head brushing the armrest. Alex pulls away from Michael’s mouth with a slick sound, and as he gasps for air, Michael attaches his lips to a tender spot beneath his jaw and sucks, igniting a fire low in Alex’s belly that threatens to consume him.

He can feel himself getting hard as Michael worms his way even closer. He guides Alex’s left leg to rest against the back of the couch as he settles his solid weight between his thighs, continuing to pepper his throat with wet, sucking kisses all the while. It’s not until Michael dips his tongue into the hollow of his throat that Alex’s hips lurch upward of their own accord, seeking the kind of relief only Michael can give him.

“Michael,” Alex moans, eyes slipping closed as his restless fingers weave into Michael’s curls.

Michael hums his response and slips his hands under Alex’s ass, encouraging him to grind their cocks together through the fabric of their jeans. It’s rough and hot, too much and not nearly enough, and along with his spiking pleasure comes the daunting thought that they’re moving too fast—that they’re about to make the same mistake they always do.

“Fuck, wait, we should—“ he begins to protest, but Michael interrupts him, groaning unhappily against the neckline of his t-shirt before he lifts his head to look at him. Alex’s eyes skip down to Michael’s mouth automatically, that tempting shade of pink making it very hard to remember what he was thinking two seconds ago.

“Don’t tell me what we should do,” Michael begs him, drawing Alex’s attention back up his face, to where his eyes are wide and more than a little desperate. “What do you want?”

Alex stares at him as that question hits his ears, a “What I want doesn’t matter” already on the tip of his tongue before his brain even catches up with him. He’s spent so long carrying those words in his head and in his heart that he barely notices their weight anymore—not until it’s Michael staring back at him and offering him everything he’s ever dreamed of.

This time’s no different, and Michael must see it on his face because the look in his eyes softens along with his voice as he asks again, “What do you want, Alex?” He reaches up to cup the side of his face, his thumb brushing featherlight across his cheekbone. “I’ll give you anything.”

Alex swallows roughly, his eyes burning with tears he can barely hold back.

“You,” he answers, perhaps more honest than he’s ever been. His voice trembles as he adds, “I just want you.”

A brittle smile breaks out on Michael’s face, his eyes shining in the lamplight before they flutter closed as he leans back down to kiss him again, slow and deep and wet.

Heat starts to simmer between between them once again, the soft press of Michael’s mouth and the tease of his tongue driving all other thought from Alex’s mind. Michael works his hands slowly under his t-shirt and Alex hardly notices it happening until Michael rolls his thumb over one of his nipples, sending a jolt of pleasure straight to his groin.

Alex groans and shivers at the sensation, using his prosthetic—planted firmly on the floor now—for any traction he can get to press his hips up into Michael’s lap.

Michael smirks against his mouth, and Alex can’t help but catch Michael’s full bottom lip between his teeth in retaliation, making Michael whimper so sweetly that Alex lets him go and soothes the bite with his tongue almost immediately.

Michael gives him one last kiss before he pushes Alex’s shirt as far up his chest as it can go and dips down to latch his mouth over his right nipple. Alex sighs and drops his head back against the cushions, his cock thickening even further as Michael teases it into a hard bud with his lips and teeth and tongue, playing with the other between his thumb and forefinger. He tugs it between his teeth and Alex gasps, arching his back and pressing his chest more firmly against Michael’s mouth.

After a few more minutes of teasing, Michael starts a slow slide downward, trailing wet kisses along the way as he charts a path down Alex’s belly toward the wiry hair peeking out above his belt.

“You want my mouth, ‘Lex?” Michael asks before dragging his tongue along the sensitive skin just above the waistband of his jeans.

Alex’s stomach clenches as he pictures it—Michael going down on him with singleminded focus, looking up at him beneath his lashes as he sucks on the head before taking him deeper, sinking down until the tip of his cock is snug inside his throat. He’s always looked so good with his head between Alex’s thighs.

His cock throbs painfully at the thought, desperate for Michael’s attention, but there’s something else on Alex’s mind right now, something he wants with a ferocity he can’t quite put into words.

“I do,” he says, softly tugging Michael’s hair to get his attention. “Up here.”

Michael stares at him a moment before he gets it, confusion fading as a fond smile takes its place. He slithers up Alex’s body until he can hover over his face.

“You want me to kiss you when I make you come?” Michael asks him, rubbing his nose along Alex’s cheek.

Alex nods, not trusting his voice.

Michael presses a soft, almost reverent kiss to his cheek.

“I can work with that,” he says, moving closer to his mouth. He kisses him again, not more than a peck, before he sits up and leans back, resting his weight on his knees between Alex’s spread thighs.

Alex mourns the loss of warmth, but he soon forgets it as Michael strips his flannel off his back and tosses it haphazardly behind him, revealing his toned chest and stomach. His mouth runs dry just looking at him and he quickly follows suit, yanking his bunched up t-shirt over his head and letting it fall gracelessly to the floor.

He starts on his jeans next, but Michael’s hands bat his out of the way, one cupping his cock through the denim while the other undoes his belt with practiced efficiency. He teases his crown with the tip of his finger for a torturous moment before Alex groans and he gets with the program, tugging Alex’s jeans and underwear down his hips just far enough to free his cock.

The relief Alex feels at no longer being so constricted is instantaneous, and Michael takes full advantage of the situation, curling his fingers around his shaft and thumbing through the moisture glistening at the tip. He spreads it down the length of him as he starts to jerk him off, not firm or quick enough to make him come, but enough to make the pleasure that’s been building inside him since they started this flare hot and insistent.

Alex catches his bottom lip between his teeth to keep from crying out as his hips twitch upward, fucking his cock into Michael’s grip. When he tears his gaze away from where Michael is playing with him, he sees honey-brown eyes staring back at him.

“What?” Alex asks, flushing under Michael’s attention.

“Nothing,” Michael smiles, shaking his head. “You’re just really fucking pretty like this.”

Alex scoffs at that, but it only makes Michael more insistent.

“You are,” he says defiantly, squeezing his cock a little on the upstroke. Alex tries to bite back the moan building in his throat, but it’s easier said than done. “I mean, you’re always pretty, but when I’ve got my hands on you? Shit, ‘Lex. You don’t know what you do to me.”

“Oh yeah?” he shoots back, eyes drifting south toward the dark spot slowly bleeding through the front of Michael’s jeans. “Why don’t you show me?”

Michael rises to the challenge, letting go of Alex’s cock and getting to work on his ridiculous belt buckle. He shoves his own jeans and underwear down his thighs as quick as he can and seconds later Alex feels Michael caging him in as he covers his body with his own, pressing up into his space to kiss him just like Alex had asked him to.

He feels Michael’s cock poking into his belly, smearing precome against his skin, and Alex hooks his leg around him to bring him closer until their cocks are trapped between them. Alex breaks the kiss for just a moment, just long enough to lick his palm before he slips his hand down his belly to wrap his fingers around them both, making a tight, wet channel for them to fuck into. The sticky mix of spit and precome isn’t nearly as smooth as lube, but it’ll do.

“Uh, fuck,” Michael groans against his mouth as he begins to rock his hips forward in a slow, steady grind. “Been a while since we did it like this, huh?”

Alex hums in agreement as memories of the two of them in the back of Michael’s truck, rutting together on a makeshift mattress that smelled faintly of weed, flash through his mind. A lot’s changed since then, but the drag of Michael’s cock against his still feels just as good.

Michael starts to thrust in earnest then, and Alex’s burns with every slide of his cock against him, with every eager kiss Michael presses to his mouth. His heart is pounding against his ribs and blood is rushing in his ears, nearly but not quite loud enough to drown out all the perfect little sounds Michael keeps making in the back of his throat.

It’s not long before it all overwhelms him and Alex shudders as he comes, his balls drawing up tight and cock pulsing hot and wet between them. He gasps into Michael’s mouth, too far gone to remember how to kiss properly as his pleasure washes over him, inexorable as the ebb and flow of the rising tide and strong enough to pull him under.

Michael follows him a moment later, moaning sharply against Alex’s cheek as he spills over his fist, adding to the mess Alex made. Alex jerks him through it, milking him for all he’s worth until he hides his face in Alex’s neck and starts to whimper, overstimulated. Alex lets him go then and focuses on catching his breath as the last of his pleasure fades.

Michael’s the first to move, bumping his way back toward Alex’s mouth to kiss him again, lips raw and slick where they brush against his mouth. Alex cradles his cheek with his clean palm to hold him there as they trade kisses, neither one of them quite ready to break the spell that drew them back together. Alex loses himself to it, so much so that he barely registers the quiet patter of claws against wood drawing nearer until Buffy hops her front paws up onto the edge of the couch and starts to lick his cheek.

Alex makes a rather undignified noise at the sensation of Buffy’s tongue on his face—not to mention the smell of her breath—and Michael laughs against his mouth before he pulls away to look at her.

“I’m sorry, princess, were we ignoring you?” Michael coos, and Alex isn’t proud of the way Michael’s low, rasping voice makes his spent cock twitch.

Michael reaches over the edge of the couch, feeling around on the floor for a moment, until Alex hears a sharp squeak. Buffy barks happily, lowering down on her front legs and wagging her tail, and Michael throws one of her brightly colored toys as far as he can across the room.

“That ought to buy us 30 seconds,” Michael says, leaning up between Alex’s spread thighs. Michael’s bare chest shines as he reaches over for the box of tissues sitting on the coffee table, sticky with sweat and come. He grabs a few for himself and then offers Alex the box.

Once they’re as clean as they’re going to get, Michael zips up his jeans and gathers their dirty tissues to throw them out. Alex likewise tucks himself away and sits up on the couch, nervously awaiting Michael’s return.

He’s just reaching for his shirt on the floor when Michael comes back, his head cocked to the side as he looks at him curiously.

“What are you doing?” Michael asks, the corner of his lips pulling up into a lopsided smile. Alex gives him a questioning look, but Michael only steps closer and plants his hand on Alex’s chest, pushing him gently to lie back down. “I’m not done with you yet,” Michael explains.

Alex raises an eyebrow, but Michael just settles on his chest once more, tucked between Alex’s body and the back of the couch. He throws one leg over Alex’s thigh and his arm wraps around his waist, his chaotic mop of curls tickling Alex’s nose as he shifts to get comfortable.

The silence between them as they lie there is nice, simple in a way things rarely are for them.

That is, until Alex’s mind starts running away from him, age-old doubts and fears plaguing his thoughts. He loves Michael more than anything, but was falling back into bed so soon a mistake? Can they really make it work this time?

“Stop thinking,” Michael mumbles against his collarbone.

“Sorry,” Alex apologizes with a sigh, dropping a kiss into his curls. “I just…”

“Hm?” Michael prompts him when he doesn’t continue.

Alex takes a breath before he says, “I just can’t believe we just had sex on my couch without actually talking things out first.”

“Really?” Michael asks, leaning up to look at him incredulously. “You can’t believe that?”

“Okay, that’s fair,” Alex concedes with a laugh. “I just meant—I don’t know. I thought the next time we did this, we would be a real couple.”

That’s the wrong thing to say, apparently, because Michael’s face falls a little, his eyes sliding down to stare intently at Alex’s collarbone. He doesn’t pull away from him though, not yet, which Alex hopes means he hasn’t completely fucked this up.

“Who says we’re not?” Michael asks slowly, chancing a look back up at Alex’s face. Alex isn’t sure what he finds there, but it reassures him enough to joke, “I mean, we have shared custody of a fur baby remember? That sounds pretty serious to me.”

Alex laughs at that, his eyes warm and fond and maybe just a little misty.

“I love you,” he says, the words spilling out of him before he can contain them.

His heart seizes in his chest a little at the unexpected admission, but it’s worth it to see the joy on Michael’s face as he presses in close and whispers those words right back at him.

The next time it rains in Roswell, Alex wakes slowly to the sounds of soft laughter, rustling sheets, and raindrops tapping away at the roof overhead. He drifts in that space between sleeping and waking for a few moments, warm and content.

Buffy barks suddenly, pulling Alex firmly into the land of the living. He cracks open an eyelid to see Michael sitting up in bed and a very happy beagle demanding belly scratches on the comforter in front of him.

“Shh, daddy’s sleeping,” Michael scolds gently, and Alex’s heart feels so fucking full.

He rubs the sleep from his eyes and sits up, the movement drawing Michael’s attention.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you,” Michael says, casting a rueful smile over his shoulder.

Alex smiles and shakes his head, shifting closer so he can rest his head on Michael’s shoulder and pull him back against his chest. He rests his right palm over Michael’s heart, his fingertips dragging lightly through his chest hair.

“Never apologize for being here when I wake up,” Alex says, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck. Michael ducks his head and smiles, his hand coming to rest over Alex’s on his chest.

Alex closes his eyes and breathes deep, the heady scent of petrichor filling his lungs.

Maybe rainy days aren’t so bad.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

The Prankster Queen is dethroned; SPN & Lucifer cast x teen reader

*Author’s note*

Well this was a LOOOOOONG time request from my Wattpad account but I finally got some motivation to write and finish this fic. Now I talked with the requestor about this and some changes were made, originally this was gonna involve Criminal minds cast but I had barely watched the show at the time so I talked with them and they agreed to have this be a SPN X LUCIFER cast crossover. So I hope you all enjoy this little fic and until the next update.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@ixchel-9275​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@platawnic​

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“Okay guys; here we are back at the Supernatural set ready to start filming the 2nd half of season 14. Before I get into the special prank on Alex day I want to first send a very special thanks to the Lucifans for the #SaveLucifer and thank Netflix for renewing a season 4 and 5 of Lucifer.  Yes I am a fan of that show as well. I mean I’ve got to my dad plays the famed Devil himself. No, no, no, no, no I’m joking. I watch the show because I really love what they did with it. The writing is phenomenal and the cast is super friendly. They’re like my second family next these guys here at Supernatural.”

I spoke through my Youtube channel streaming live.  I could already see comments popping up along my livestream. Comments like ‘YASS LUCIFERXSPN SUPPORT’ or Winchester sister stans Lucifer.

“Yes I do thank you. Now for the moment you’ve all waited for. I’ve got the plastic wrap, the super glue, feathers, and fan. And of course the star of this prank on Alex, my baby boy Shadow.” I then presented my black German Shepherd who was lying on Alex’s trailer couch. “You ready to prank Alex boy?” he tilted his head to the side. “You ready to prank him?” he let out a bark and I cooed. “Good boy!” I flipped my camera back around and said. “Now Jared kindly set up the camera just a bit ago so I will transition to that in just a little while. For now I’m going to set up the door so please enjoy this fast forward montage of me getting the prank set up.”

I spread the super glue all around the plastic wrapping and tapped it across Alex’s trailer door so that when he would run right into it, he would get trapped with the plastic wrapping before I would attack with the pillow filled with feathers.

“Okay everything’s all set up. Now for the final touch, c’mon boy up on the bed.” He got off the couch and into Alex’s bed and just lay there at the foot of it. “Good boy.” I opened the trailer door and waited for Alex to come around.  Once I saw him walking alongside Misha, I cried out. “ALEX! ALEX! SHADOW’S TAKING A SHIT ON YOUR BED!!”

“What!?”

“I’m not kidding I was walking him and he just ran in here and literally shit on your bed! Bad dog!”

“Shadow! Shadow! Damnit Shadow!” Alex then ran up and just like I hopped, he slammed right into the plastic wrap and fell right to the ground.  I then pelted him with the pillow till his entire face was covered with feathers.

“BOOM SUCKA!!! That’ll teach you to eat my big cookie.” I told him.

���Okay maybe I deserved that.”

“Wow (y/n), all this for a cookie?” Misha said as he helped Alex back up on his feet.

“Misha you don’t understand. Those cookies were my mum’s special recipe. Plus she makes them so big that you can eat it in the space of a week. I was saving the last bit of it and then this guy decides it’s a good idea to eat the last of it.” I said pointing to Alex.

“You know….one of these days. We’re gonna get you back. Everyone that you’ve pranked, we’re gonna get you.” Alex spoke as he coughed out trying to get the feathers out of his mouth.

“The day that happens is the day J2(I/l) turns on each other. And the boys and I have been doing this for a long, long time.” I sassed as I snapped my finger and Shadow hopped off Alex’s bed and we left the trailer.

Little bit about myself; the names (Y/n) Ellis, the last name sound familiar? Yep you thought right. Tom Ellis aka Lucifer Morningstar is my father.  He and I have been in the acting business together for a good amount of years.  In fact he’s helped me when it came to running lines or dealing with the pressures of the acting life, especially since I started off as a child actor at the age of 5.

I had a few small roles, but when I was just 9 years old a role on a little show called Supernatural came knocking at my door.  As a young British girl I was worried that I wouldn’t get it because this was an American tv show and I had to speak with an American accent.  But thanks to a good dialect coach, and 2 test screenings with the boys to see if we were a fit, I got to play the role of Sarah Winchester, the younger half-sister of Sam and Dean who was cursed with witch powers.

But instead of killing her, Sam and Dean actually take her in and she uses her magic for good instead of evil.  For years the Supernatural cast didn’t just become an ordinary job, it was like being home, we became a family.  Jared and Jensen were like the big brothers I never had (even though they were around my dad’s age).

When things got too tough around set, J2 always found a way to make me smile and laugh. And as the years passed, Misha came on board followed by the 2 Marks, Ruth, Brianna and Kim, Osric, Rob and Richard, and now finally Alexander Calvert.  The Supernatural family is a tight bond and we all send out a powerful message that Family don’t end in blood, and to Always Keep Fighting when things got bad.

Then when season 11 of my show was being filmed, my dad had gotten the role of Lucifer Morningstar in Fox’s new tv series “Lucifer” which was basically the story of the devil taking a vacation from Hell and he ends up working with the LAPD alongside a clever detective named Chloe Decker.

When Lucifer exploded every time I went to conventions, fans always ask me questions about potential crossovers or what I thought of the show.  And truthfully I loved it.  In fact whenever I would wrap on my time on a season, I took the hour and 45 minute drive where they filmed Lucifer and spend time with my dad and the Lucifer cast.

Lauren, Aimee and Lesley became my partners in crime when it came to the subtle pranks on the Luci cast or even my dad.  Aimee and I are always making Instagram videos of each other acting like complete nutjobs, she’s like the older sister I’ve always wanted (since I am the eldest of my three sisters).

But that’s my life, and if you were to ask me if I could trade it away for anything else, I would tell you hell no (no pun intended).

After getting Shadow back into my trailer, I decided to see if my dad was willing to talk. I grabbed my I-Pad and went over to Facetime and clicked my dad’s name (of course I added the devil emoji beside his name).  It rang about five times before I finally got an answer.

“There’s my little She-devil.” He answered with a smirk.

“Hey dad.” I said with a smile.

“Aimee saw your prank on that Alex chap.”

“She like it?”

“Mini Ellis you are a she-devil genius!” Aimee soon came into the frame. “You got to show me how that brilliant mind of yours works.”

“Guess I learned from two of the very best. I know exactly how to push buttons but not go overly extreme that it hurts someone’s soul. I’m not completely soulless like Jared is when it comes to pranks.”

“I still can’t believe he actually cut one of his credit cards. That’s super low.” She said.

“I know. I’ve been trying to get him to ease back and not go quite extreme. So far he hasn’t done it knock on wood.”

“Anyways you two, what brings on this call my dove?” my dad asked.

“Just wanted to call and see how you were doing. How’s season 4 coming along?”

“Great. Everything is great. Thanks to the Lucifans, and the Supernatural family.” My dad said.

“No sweat. You’re my dad. I’m still pissed that FOX could just cancel your show like that. And the way they would’ve ended it. God that’s literally the worst cliffhanger ever!”

“Tell me about it.” Aimee groaned.

“But it’s all fixed now. Netflix will take good care of us now. Plus we don’t have as much restrictions as FOX gave us.” My dad teased.  I then heard a knock at my trailer door which made Shadow raise his head up from his bed and his attention turned toward the door.

“Hang on dad, who is it?!”

“It’s Jared! C’mon kiddo they need us on set now.”

“Alright I’ll be there in a minute.” I turned back to my dad and Aimee and my dad said to me.

“Go on, we’ll catch up later.”

“Alright dad. Give my love to the rest of the cast.”

“You already have my love mini Ellis.” Aimee said.

“Love you Aims!”

“Alright darling love you. Stay safe and have fun filming your next season.” The two of them blew me a kiss goodbye and I waved bye to them and the Facetime shut off. I put my phone aside and quickly refilled Shadow’s water bowl before I took off and raced towards the set.

Although unbeknownst to both Jared and Jensen something was waiting for them.  As I walked in on the set I sat down at the spot where my character Sarah was to sit for this upcoming scene.

“Okay guys on cue marks. Cue lighting and roll sound.” I got into the mindset of Sarah and took the prop book in my hands as our director called out, “Okay cue Jensen and Jared. And…..action.” it was then Jensen came down the staircase while Jared came out from the back corridor.

“Hey, so any word from Jodie?” Jensen asked as Dean to Jared.

“No not yet. Hey Sar, any luck with the research?” Jared asked me as Sam.

“Not a damn thing. God even for a witch like me I still can’t figure out the spell to get us to that other place. I’m sorry guys I may be strong, but I’m not Rowena strong.”

“No, no it’s alright. It’s okay. We’ll……find another way.” Then Jared and Jensen took their seats before suddenly jolting upwards and letting out girlish screams of shock and pain.

“CUT!!!” our director called out.

“The hell was that!?!” Jensen proclaimed.

“Oh thank god I thought it was just me.” Jared sighed with relief.  I kept my poker face up as I said to them.

“What happened just now?”

“Something shocked us. I don’t know what but whatever it was, it should never have shocked me back there. My butt does not deserve that kind of treatment!” he looked around the cushioned seat until he found some sort of electronic shock pad. It was slightly smaller than the cushioned pad and as soon as Jensen took hold of it and pressed a certain button, it caused another shock to run through his arm as he swore out loud and shake his arm.

“Uhh Jensen why would you do that?” I asked him.

“I don’t know I needed to see if it was real or not don’t judge me!”

“How the hell did these even get here?” asked Jared.

“No idea.” Jensen said.  I covered my smile as I tried to act inconspicuous but that’s when the two of them looked at me. “You did this?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I said as I stood up and strutted out of the room sassily to run into Misha and I told him. “Your revenge plot has been successfully played out.”

“I knew I could count on you (n/n). Thanks.”

“No problem, but just know Misha all things come at a price with me. Pranking the kings don’t come without consequence.”

“I know, I know. But still I thank you for doing this for me. That’ll teach Jared to put old cheese in my pillow.”  I patted his arm before leaving him to reset the scene again.

Weeks passed and filming continued on up until I was finally done with my scenes which meant that I was now allowed to travel on up to the Lucifer set and pop in and say hello.  After bidding everyone goodbye until July, I got into the car and my driver Tommy drove me on up towards the studio where my dad and the rest of the Lucifer family were filming.

After finally arriving on the set, I saw Lauren and Aimee out and about with a Starbucks cup in their hands.  As soon as they saw my car, they immediately waved.  I rolled down my window and said.

“What up my Luci sistas!”

“Ahhh mini-Ellis!” Aimee proclaimed.  Once the car stopped, I stepped out and I raced towards her and she met me in the middle as the two of us embraced each other tightly, rocking aggressively from side to side.  “Where’s big Shadow? You usually bring him with you whenever you’re done with shooting.”

“Well for some reason Misha wanted to keep him around set. Guess he must’ve needed the fluffy protection from Jared and Jensen after the prank I pulled on them a few weeks back.”

“What’d you do to them?” asked Lauren.

“Just put a shock pad cushion underneath their chairs. Misha told me to do it to get back at Jared for putting old cheese in his pillow.”

“Wow those guys are relentless huh?” said Aimee.

“Yep. But enough of that now, let’s get going. I wanna watch you guys film some stuff.”

“Alright! C’mon kiddo let’s go.” Lauren wrapped her arm around me before playfully giving me a noogie while guiding me onwards to the set.

I greeted my Lucifer family like D.B, Kevin, Lesley-Ann, Rachael, and of course young Scarlett (ever since the show I officially adopted her as my younger sister).

“So, have you guys seen my dad anywhere?” I asked.

“Last we saw him he was leaving his trailer for costume and makeup.” Aimee said.

“Perfect.”

“What have you got in mind she-devil?” asked Lauren with a grin.

“Ohhh not much.” I grinned as I walked towards the costume and makeup trailers.

Once I got there, I had spotted my dad just getting out from the costume trailer in the full Lucifer suit.  I grinned mischievously and slowly stalked towards him.  This was something that I used to always do to him when I was a little girl, it’s been awhile but I hope I still got it.  Like a tigress on the prowl I stalked behind my dad silent and carefully.

Whenever he turned around, I would hide behind anything I could whether it was the side of a trailer/tent, or even one of the many gold carts/motorbikes.  Then when he would resume his walk, I trailed behind him once again.  Closer and closer I got till finally I was within strike range.

The mighty huntress has cornered her prey.

I then trotted forward before leaping up but I was foiled when my dad turned around and managed to catch me and spin me around for a moment in his arms.

“Thought you’d sneak up on my again huh my little tigress? After all these years I finally caught you red handed.”

“Took you over 20 years but no time like the present eh?” my dad smirked down at me, the smirk that I had inherited from him, and said as he booped my nose.

“I just know when my daughter feels a little extra cheeky.” He bopped my nose as he said ‘cheeky’ which made me playfully stick my tongue out at him. “And put that tongue away young lady we are not a snake.”

“Wrong. Don’t you remember I got sorted into Slytherin when we went to Harry Potter world.”

“Yes I do recall that. But that’s still no excuse. Stick that tongue out at me again and I’ll give you a good whopping, do I make myself clear.”

“Yes father.” I submitted.  He pecked my forehead before releasing me.

“So, you’ve finished with your filming?”

“Yep. Managed to wrap up a little early, at least for me.”

“Now I’ve been hearing a lot of rumors about you potentially branching off and getting your own spinoff series?”

“Well I don’t like to brag but it’s still a rumor. Not even I can confirm it. Besides, who knows if the CW will allow it. I mean don’t get me wrong the other two sub-series I didn’t agree with but Wayward Sisters, I would’ve LOVED to see that become something. Maybe have Sarah make a few surprise appearances.”

“Well, if the CW don’t allow it, maybe Netflix will. You never know. I could put in a good word for you.”

“Thanks dad.”

“Tom! Hey Tom! Susan needs you in makeup stat. You’re shooting in ten.” One of the make artists came racing up to us.

“Oh fu—sorry about that Johnny.” My dad wrapped an arm around my shoulders and the two of us walked towards the makeup trailer so that he could get ready.

After doing a quick touch up on my dad, the two of us left for the LAPD set and everyone was already running around getting to their marks or getting the cameras rolling.  I sat right next to the director Sherwin as he was calling for cameras to focus and start rolling.  Finally he called action and I got to sit and watch the new Netflix: Lucifer finally be filmed.

It was a long day of shooting and filming but it was a very productive day.  I even got to learn about directing since (spoiler alert! I get to direct an episode this season of Supernatural!).  I was currently right now sitting with my dad sipping a cup of tea.

“Now I know that one episode that witches have familiars. If Sarah were to have a familiar, which pet would she have and who would you want to play that familiar?” I hummed.

“Well. No offense to the women but most of the time when a new female comes on Supernatural she always ends up being a bitch. With the exception of Kim, Bri, Ruthie, Felica, and the rest of the Wayward sisters. So I’d have to say Sarah would want a male familiar. And yes while I do love dogs and would KILL to have Shadow actually be in front of the camera, I think she’d prefer a cat. Now for the actor to play him. Now don’t laugh but—this is my fantasy dream cast…..”

“Oh just get on with it will you little missy! Stop droning on!” my dad whined. I mimicked his whining before I finally admitted.

“Gwilym Lee okay!”

“The Welsh actor from that Midsomer murders series you used to watch?”

“Yeah, why not? I think he’d make a perfect cat familiar. Wise, loyal, good fighter. And—not that bad looking if I may say.”

“Alright down girl. I swear you and Aimee have been fawning over actors far too much.”

“Then you do not want to see me with the young Wayward sisters. We’re a lot worse. Plus it gets awkward when they start talking about you. Especially when it involves the Lucifer cast.”

“Oh my god.” He groaned.

“I know right!? It’s bad enough I hear from the fans about how much of a ‘thirsty dad’ you are. But now I have to hear it at work!” before my dad could say anything else, Lesley came running in with a worried look on her face. “Whoa Les, where’s the fire at?”

“You gotta call the Supernatural set (y/n).” she panted out.

“Why what’s going on?”

“I don’t know something about Shadow.” Without hesitation I took my phone out and dialed Misha’s number.  It rang and rang and as it kept ringing I grumbled.

“C’mon Misha pick up your bloody phone already!”

‘Hello?’

“Misha what’s going on!? What happened to my son!?”

‘I’m sorry (y/n) Jared was eating some M&M’s earlier and he left the table for one second and the next thing he saw was Shadow eating the M&M’s he had managed to knock down on the floor!’

“WHAT!?!?!?!?”

‘Just come by over here, he’s been whimpering and we don’t know the contact information to the vet.’

“Okay I’ll be there as soon as I can. Try to make him as comfortable for me as possible. Okay! Tell him mummy’s on her way!”

‘Okay I will. And (y/n). Hurry!’ I hung up the phone and raced off.

“Whoa, whoa mini-Ellis where are you off too in such a hurry?” Kevin said as he and Aimee were walking back from the catering (after I had noticed the chocolate doughnut in Aimee’s hand).

“Shadow’s sick! Ate M&M’s. I gotta go!” I couldn’t even form a proper sentence as I raced outside and phoned my driver to hurry the fuck back to the set and drive me back to the Supernatural set.

Thankfully, he was right outside and the second I jumped right on in, I banged on the back window and ordered him to drive and soon he was off.  Oh Shadow baby hang in there baby boy!

Finally after what felt like an eternity (I don’t know why the driver had taken the long way around. Said it was fucking traffic or something like that). But before the car could even come to a complete stop, I jumped out of the car and raced towards the building calling out Shadow’s name.

I quickly raced into the main Supernatural set to see that it was completely empty.

“Shadow!? Shadow! Here boy!” I whistled.  Just hearing the way Misha had talked on the phone it made me really worried about my baby boy’s health.  And now just not seeing him come on command when he’s supposed to, got me really anxious.

I walked further through the main set (which was the map room of the bunker) when I felt myself slightly trip forward and I looked down to see a tripwire.  Oh shit.

SPLASH! I jumped as I let out a shriek when a small water balloon fell right at my feet.  A split second later another dropped on the other side of me but still close enough to my feet.  I jumped two more times as two more water balloons splashed right by me.

“Really guys? If you’re gonna do something like that at least have good aim.” But I was unaware of the enormous water balloon that was now starting to roll down. When I looked up, my heart sunk as I slowly let out a scream and soon I was drenched.

But it wasn’t water.  Well normal water anyway, when I had looked at myself I had seen that I was now covered head to toe in the famed fake blood the makeup artists make from corn syrup, chocolate syrup and food coloring.

My breathing sharpened and I growled out.

“J2. Are without a doubt. The lowest most vile Americans to EVER WALK THE PLANET!!!” This was my favorite shirt and now the boys ruined it.  Plus do you know how long it takes to get fake blood out of your hair? Believe me it’s not pretty. Hours upon hours of just brushing through one section of hair.

Soon enough the entire cast came out laughing and clapping but what was shocking was that the Lucifer cast also came out smiling and clapping along.

“We got you good kid!” Misha laughed.

“You—you all were……”

“About time we finally dethroned the Prank Queen. You’ve been stealing our thunder for too long kid.” Jensen said.

“And thanks to your dad and the rest of the Lucifer cast, they gave us the time to set all this up.” Jared said as he held his phone up probably recording the whole thing.  I turned to my dad and hissed.

“Et tu Papa?”

“Sorry darling. They were convincing. Plus you’ve been going a little overboard with the pranks. You even placed a dead fish in my car.” Dad said.

“Or itching powder in my underwear drawer last year during season 3.” DW added.

“And hacking my Instagram professing love for the DCEU when you know I’m a Marvel girl.” Aimee said.

“And of course you can’t forget your recent little prank. The electric cushions.” Jared said.

“So we all came together and finally got you back.” Alex said smugly.

“How’s it feel now? You just got Carrie’d!” Lauren proclaimed.

“You all are so lucky I’m not a real witch or a telepath. Cause otherwise you’d all be screwed right now!” I spat out the fake blood that was starting to seep into my mouth.  “But I’ll admit. Only I could come up with something like this. I’m impressed. Especially since it was a crossover team effort.”

Both castmates from each show came around me and that’s when all the selfies and self-promotion of dethroning the “Prank Queen” has officially happened.  Of course I couldn’t help but chase after J2 as well as my dad so that I could smear the blood on them as payback for what they did to me.

Yep the life of an actress on Supernatural who happens to be the daughter of the current ‘hot’ Lucifer Morningstar, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.  So while the entire cast and my family got their victory out of the way, I began plotting my next ultimate prank.

[drlauralwalsh]

Top 7 Recent Obsessions and 3 Freshly Intolerable Topics

Since my wife died in February, I’ve transformed into an obsessive recluse.  I’ve always been a weirdo but now I’m a grieving weirdo.  It takes eccentricity to a whole other level.  Before, my obsessions were psychology and home improvement projects.  Now, work is impossible and I break down trying to choose flowers at the local Home Depot.  Removing every last dandelion from the yard is my glorious new passion.

Since I trust you, I’m going to tell you about some of the other strange occupiers of my mind.  Like squatters, these topics have moved into my brain to fill up the unused rooms.  I vacillate between kicking them out and kinda liking the company.  Until new obsessions come along, I’ll play reluctant host to this ragtag collection of ideas.  

1. Life After Life

It’s natural to wonder what happens to someone after they die.  I’ve been doing some light reading (usually at around 3AM) on what psychic mediums think on the subject.  Apparently, we continue life on the other side, often recreating the likeness of our earthly homes and possessions out of familiarity.  In my wife’s afterlife, I hope she made some improvements.  She’s likely finally found the perfect couch (comfy yet stylish!) and is no longer taunted by the daily dog hair tumbleweeds.

I have a few questions.  Does my wife get to meet celebrities? She’d be totally psyched to meet Dolores O’Riordan, the lead singer of The Cranberries, who died in January of 2018.  Did she get to watch the last season of Homeland that aired after she died?  Can she still water a lawn in contemplative meditation?  Most likely, she’s cavorting with her first girlfriend, Suzy.  I’m told Suzy was a little crazy in her earth life so I hope she’s not a bad influence.

If I end up living a few more decades, I’ll probably grow and change substantially.  Will Patty recognize me when I finally make the trip? Will she and I still be soulmates or will I have to share her?  Like, did Suzy claim my wife as her soulmate?  I don’t wish anyone loneliness in the after life but dang, I’ve got dibs.

2. Cookie Butter Therapy

If you’ve read my self care tips, you know I’ve found cookie butter solace.  Listening to my body’s unique nutrient requirements, I heed the call for that smooth comfort.  As a psychologist, it used to bug me when I’d see memes like, “I don’t need therapy, I’ve got wine!”  Occasionally speaking aloud, I’d reply, “Hello future client!”

Now, I’m not so sure that retail, alcohol or food therapy is all that bad.  I mean, it IS bad in that it doesn’t solve the problem and could turn into something worse.  But if keeping your head above water saves your life, perhaps I should reconsider these stopgap measures.  Personally, I’m planning a future half marathon to combat the future cookie butter problem.  And by planning, I mean it’s on my list to look up neighborhood jogging routes.

3. Signs from Beyond the Veil

After my Dad died in 2002, I looked for evidence that his energy was still around.  Losing a spouse takes it to a completely new desperation.  Again, according to psychic mediums, we can ask our departed loved ones for specific signs and they will try to send them to us.  Oh the pressure!  Being an overachiever, of course I wanted to come up with the perfect sign to request from my wife.  One that hits just the right balance of inside joke and everlasting love.

To get the ball rolling, I picked the first thing that came to mind.  I asked my wife to send me a maroon Nissan Rogue SUV.  Weird, I know - but also the perfect symbol of our family.  I’m not that great at these requests just yet so I hope she knows I’m asking to see one, not get one as a gift.  Years ago, she borrowed my maroon Nissan for a road trip with two little boys who would become my step kids.  Having not yet met, questions about the car’s owner became a convenient way to talk about Mama’s new sweetheart.  

I started seeing this car EVERYWHERE.  There’s this one little problem, though.  Have you ever heard of confirmation bias?  Psychology Today says, “Confirmation bias occurs from the direct influence of desire on beliefs. “  Basically, I started seeing the car because I wanted the sign from her.  The overly enthusiastic part of my brain said, “Yeah, but wouldn’t she also FLOOD the world with whatever sign you requested????”  Next time, I’ll ask for money.

4. Meditation

After all the grief festivities were done (i.e. initial horror and subsequent wake and funeral), one of my besties recommended the book, Proof of Heaven by Dr. Eben Alexander.  The author is a smarty-pants neurosurgeon who had a near death experience.  He woke up out of a coma, wrote everything down, and set about trying to disprove the platitudes he once touted to patients.  Anyway, a fascinating book and GREAT for the active griever in your life.

Veering from his conventional colleagues, Dr. Alexander’s career diverged towards the path less taken.  He’s now involved in projects with the founders of Sacred Acoustics, a brainwave entrainment audio recordings company.  That’s a fancy way of saying guided meditations with binaural beats that create experiences.  There’s one that facilitates “communication with spirits across the veil.” Since I’m obsessed with getting back with my wife without leaving my kids and dogs, I became a convert. 

Before Patty died (AKA BPD), I was known to dabble in mindfulness and may have claimed I meditated for longer and more often than I actually remembered to do.  Don’t judge me, I was a busy mom!  With a renewed desperation and time on my hands, I gave these wacky meditations a go.  OMG, y’all they are amazing.  I dare say I’ve done a little cavorting with my wife (at least in my mind).  Seriously, between ADHD and grief brain, I can still knock out a 38 minute ‘Love Body’ meditation, no sweat.  In the least, it’s a crutch over the rough spots.

5. Crafty Crystal Suncatchers

I haven’t gone off the deep end (yet) and meditated while balancing my chakras (okay, maybe once) with family heirlooms.  If you read more than one book about the afterlife, you’ll pick up on themes.  Psychics love auras, butterflies, and RAINBOWS.  Since I’ve got time, I figured it wasn’t hard to put together my own suncatcher.  You can certainly purchase these dandies but I prefer my own extremely amateur creations - especially since I need one for every window.  Not sure what to do with these colorful messages from beyond but they are a comfort of sorts.

You may have gathered that I wasn’t previously into the paranormal.  For instance, I knew that smudging was a thing but now, thanks to Etsy, I have my own kit.  Same with healing crystals.  As a child from a family of geologists, semi-precious gems, variegated rocks and hefty quartz crystals already held a special awe.  I must note that my grandfather never mentioned crystal suncatchers as a method for communicating with the dead.  It’s all me who’s hoping for yet another channel where, through refracted sunlight, my wife asserts her presence.

6. Documentaries About Death

It’s a widow habit to categorize life events as ‘before’ and ‘after,’  We use these terms with a wistful air of melancholy apology.  We didn’t create these terms but they’re used as handy shortcuts before launching into yet another story about our dead spouses.  This next tidbit is about me, though.

I love documentaries but before, I’d skip over the downers.  Who wants to watch a flick about eroding habitats when your lawn looks so good?  Times change and now after, I’ve completely confused Amazon’s algorithms with my new entertainment searches.  I find comfort in tragedy.

I recently watched The Bridge, a documentary on the world’s most dangerous suicide locale - the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco.  Since it was built, upwards of 1,700 souls have leapt to their nearly assured demise.  The doc profiles the families of people actually caught on film at the moment of decision.  Should sound awful, right?  To me, it’s soothing.  Not the suicides, but hearing the family process the death.  They’re in the soup with me.  Their stories make me feel normal.

7. Unique Grave Decorations

I’m only sharing this with you because I know you’ll understand.  I threw this one in the mix because I had a brief, but intense love affair with unusual grave decorations.   Did you know you can get “grave blankets” to keep your loved one warm?  Obviously more popular in northern climes, they're actually giant wreaths of evergreen branches to cover the gravesite.  Sadly, they aren’t allowed in my wife's cemetery or I’d be all over it.  She was always cold…..before.

Switching gears, turning towards the following topics is a sort of exposure therapy.  They each flutter at the windows of my mind and blot out the light (which I need for rainbows).  I might as well add them to the growing list of crap I have to deal with eventually.  Just so you know, I’m not weird enough to literally keep a list (yet).

1. Birthdays, Holidays, and Other Horrible Occasions

I know they’re coming.  I limped through some already.  May holds the double whammy of Mother’s Day and my birthday.  Despite the embarrassing lack of evergreen splendor, we’ll visit her gravesite where I’ve already smuggled in other decorative contraband.  Since I buy presents for myself all the time, for my birthday, I generally request a tasteful yet classic homemade card.  I’ll get through the anticipatory dread and trudge through the sewage of my lowered expectations.  It’s only another 24 hours to get through.

2. Getting Married Again

I can’t even think about what’s next.  Or rather who.  When I do think about it, I feel sorry for the sad sap who’s attracted to the runner up spot. Here’s the thing, I think about getting married again ALL THE TIME.  My fantasy only went as far as imagining waking up in a fully formed relationship.  Because I loved being married to my wife, it seemed reasonable to want our life reinstated.  As the days turn into months, finding someone new continues to stubbornly insert itself from outside my head.  I blame Patty.  She always insisted if she died first, she’d want me to remarry.  Less charitably, I countered that if I died first, she could never remarry because I’m her one true love.  She apparently wants the last word.

To be fair, I am only 45 years old.  When my stepson asked, I told him I was going to marry the dogs.  He just doesn’t want me to change my last name, so on that we’re cool.  Like passing me a note, Patty’s best friend from high school also delicately floated the idea.  Even my brother-in-law said he wouldn’t want me to pass up something special.  They all want me to be happy.  I don’t want to want to get married again.  It feels like forcing myself into a loveless, arranged marriage.  With my luck, I’ll live another forty years.  Maybe I’ll feel differently if my wife sends me a convincing sign.  

3. The Next Death

The completely self absorbed grieving person I’ve become can’t even think about the next shitburger tragedy that’s surely on its way..  You’d think I’d have a guess who it might be but you’re wrong.  I never would have put my wife on the shortlist but here we are.  With new obsessions hoarding space in my grieving mind, it’s too crowded to handle another disaster.  So I just don’t think about it.

If you’re grieving too, I want you to know you’re not a weirdo.  Or at least you’re a weirdo like all of us - another broken toy tossed onto Bereavement Island (like Fantasy Island but more sad).  I was never particularly interested in psychics, grave ornaments or dead people (beyond famous authors).  Grief turns you inside out until you no longer recognize the person you were before.  It wasn’t so easy to tip me over and I certainly didn’t cry in public.  Falling into grief is similar to falling in love.  With both, I lost my appetite, deeply felt things I’d never felt before, and became completely obsessed.  In the end, grief is just another stage of love.  An unfortunate byproduct of the grandest home improvement project.  I’m comforted to realize that even as I’m swept up by transient passions, I’m essentially the same loving partner at my core.

[rollercoasterwrite]

Guilty Pleasure.

One-shot written for the lovely Dee aka jjongyyu ~  

Au where Jonghyun works in the Creative Affairs department of an entertainment company and has a secret crush on Jinki who is the young handsome CEO of that company. Oh and Minho is Jonghyun’s bff/fuck buddy. 

Prompt/Plot : Jonghyun will be fired by his head department soon, so before he's kicked out he braves himself to ask his CEO (Jinki) out for a date.

Pairing : Jongyu

Genre : Romance, angst, slice of life

Word count : 8 k ~

Jonghyun didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or punch someone in the face. Of all the things he would’ve thought could’ve happened today, getting fired wasn’t one of them.

The tension in his face must’ve been clear, because then he heard, ‘’ If things could’ve been any different we would’ve kept you Mr. Kim, but with the merging of the two companies… we have to make some changes. ‘’

His eyebrow cocked. Changes? The word echoed in his mind in a loop, growing louder and louder until a clench was visible in his jaw. The unease he could read on the HR lady’s face only added to his anger.

‘’ Changes? ‘’ he finally spat out as he rose from his chair. A flash of fear crossed the woman’s face before him, but he went on nonetheless.

‘’ I’ve devoted almost 7 years of my life to this company and you’re now telling me that my presence here is just some kind of liability to the company’s growth? ‘’

His words rang loudly in the room, their release harboring all the rage and disbelief that had bottled up inside him.

A heavy silence followed them while an expression of fear hung over the woman’s delicate features. Jonghyun suddenly felt ridiculous for his outburst, but he didn’t just want to relent; not after all he had given over the years.

‘’ Look, Mr. Kim, ‘’ the long-haired brunette carefully uttered. ‘’ I know our CEO has planned to write letters of recommendation for all the employees who are being let go so that they can find jobs in similar companies. ‘’

‘’ You’ll be fine, ‘’ she ended with a tight smile.

Unbeknownst to her, only one word had been enough to make his anger drop. In its stead, longing and distress curled into a tight knot inside his stomach. His jaw fell slack and his gaze became unfocused as he let his mind go astray.

‘’ Mr. Kim? ‘’

The sound of her voice instantly snapped him back to attention. He shook off any distraction with a sharp cough and quick swipe of his hands on his blazer.

‘’ I understand, Mrs. Hwang, thank you. ‘’

After giving a quick bow in her direction, he walked towards the door and grabbed the knob. A sudden surge of imminent fear clawed at his insides, but he managed to exit the room with his dignity intact.

No one would see him falter.

                                                          ***

No one at work anyways, because as soon as he left his workplace, his phone was on his ear, ready to spill his heart out to the only one he trusted enough to do so.

He lucked out after three rings.

‘’ Is this a booty call? ‘’

The question wasn’t unusual, pretty regular actually, but in that moment, Jonghyun was totally caught off guard.

‘’ Woah… how about ‘’ hello, how are you? ‘’ ‘’

He heard the other snort.

‘’ Oh yeah, I remember when we used to have normal conversations… ‘’ the other answered, making Jonghyun sigh at the heavy sarcasm in his tone. ‘’ When you didn’t just need me for my dick, ‘’ he went on nonetheless.

Jonghyun sighed again, closing his eyes to regain the little composure he had left. ‘’ You know you’re more than that to me… ‘’ He ignored the click of the tongue he heard and said, ‘’ Something bad happened and I need to talk… ‘’

The soft tone in which his request had been made seemed to do the trick, because the next thing that came out of his friend’s mouth was, ‘’ Where do you want to meet? ‘’

The blonde’s lips stretched into a lopsided smile. ‘’ My place? ‘’

‘’ Fine. See you in a few, ‘’ the other settled before hanging up.

That only had Jonghyun feeling lighter. With a renewed energy, he got into his car and hit the road. One thing he had always enjoyed was how close he lived to his workplace, but his quick arrival to the apartment complex in which he lived in only reminded him that in two weeks he wouldn’t have that luxury anymore.

Everything had been so perfect and he was now losing it all. Jonghyun would’ve loved to say that the worst thing about this news was that he was going to lose his job, but it really wasn’t. He was losing the one thing he had been fantasizing about day in and day out for the last year and a half. He felt stupid, childish and a little delusional when he thought about it, but that hope had kept him going more than anything else.

The thought of that imminent loss made every step he took towards his apartment feel heavier. When he was finally in, he got out of his blazer, loosened his tie and fell back on his couch, shielding himself from his surroundings by the arm he brought up to cover his eyes.

This is so fucking shitty.

That statement translated into a groan in the outside world, a groan that held all his tiredness and frustration. He wasn’t one to admit it, but he didn’t like change. He didn’t like the idea of having to change up his routine even in the slightest, so the thought of having to change such a big part of his life was definitely one of the scariest things ever.

He wasn’t tall to begin with so having to jump over that big of a hurdle didn’t seem feasible to him. Images of him breaking a leg were already piling up in his mind, bringing a slight tremble to his hands.

He straightened up immediately to bring his focus elsewhere, anywhere, but he was saved the trouble as the doorbell suddenly rang.

Jonghyun jumped off the couch and ran towards the door, unlocking it quickly before turning the knob.

A grin cracked his lips as he pulled his tall friend inside and closed it. Before he could have the mind to greet him, his eyes zeroed in on the bottle the other had in his hands.

‘’ What’s that? ‘’

The brunette smiled. ‘’ Some Jack. ‘’

Jonghyun scrunched up his nose in slight disgust. ‘’ Why didn’t you bring rum? ‘’

The other’s smile instantly dropped. ‘’ Are you serious right now? ‘’

A twinge of guilt made Jonghyun realize how ungrateful he was being. ‘’ No, I’m not, ‘’ he immediately retracted. He extended a hand to squeeze the other’s free one. ‘’ Thank you. ‘’

Their eyes locked for a while, leaving place to an unspoken conversation that left the air around them heavy and tense.

Jonghyun pulled his gaze away first. ‘’ Minho… ‘’

His mind trailed down the usual road it went whenever he was around his best friend, but a sudden curve brought him elsewhere, leaving him on a road full of bumps that lead to a dead end.

‘’ I got fired. ‘’

The words stumbled out his mouth like a pile of rocks, crushing anything else between and around them.

Minho’s eyes doubled in size as his mind wrapped itself around what he had just heard.

‘’ Fired? ‘’ he all but yelled in the hazardous zone the other’s words had just created.

Jonghyun nodded before all the tension that had built up in his body left him with a sigh. The little energy he had left seemed to leave him too, so he turned away and found his way back onto the couch again. Sitting this time.

Minho followed suit and was right beside him a second later. ‘’ Jjong… ‘’

The brunette’s soft voice had the blonde looking his way.

‘’ How can this be? ‘’

Jonghyun’s lips thinned in a brief smile from the worry he could hear in his friend’s voice.

‘’ Remember when I told you there would be a fusion of our rival company with ours? ‘’ The other nodded instantly. ‘’ Well, unbeknownst to us, that also meant that they would have to make some cuts in the staff to be able to afford all the costs that came with that reorganization… ‘’

Another sigh left him again. ‘’ So they cut me… ‘’

A deep frown creased the other’s brow. ‘’ The fuck? ‘’

‘’ Yup. My exact reaction when I first got the news, but there’s no way around it, so… ‘’ He inhaled deeply. ‘’ I just have to be a man and accept it. ‘’

‘’ Or you can be a man and fucking kick their asses, ‘’ Minho rectified as his hands tightened into fists.

Jonghyun knew the other was seriously angry for him, but he couldn’t help but find the sight endearing.

A breathy laugh left his plump lips. ‘’ It’ll be fine, Minho, ‘’ he reassured. ‘’ I already feel better talking to you. ‘’ His hand slid on the other’s thigh before he gave it a soft squeeze.

He knew that had the desired effect when he saw the other’s features soften.

‘’ What about Jinki? ‘’ Minho asked in a whisper as his gaze settled on the hand the blonde had on his thigh.

Jonghyun flinched. ‘’ Mr. Lee, ‘’ he instantly corrected before retracting his hand.

‘’ Whatever, Jjong. We’re talking about the same person. ‘’

Jonghyun didn’t fail to hear the sudden edge in his friend’s voice. ‘’ What about him? I won’t be seeing him anymore anyways… ‘’

As much as he wanted that to put an end to the conversation, he knew there was no chance it would.

And it didn’t.

‘’ You’ve been fantasizing about this man for the last year and a half, Jjong. You can’t just act like it’s nothing. ‘’

Jonghyun fell silent as Minho peered at him intently. ‘’ What do you want to me say? ‘’ he uttered after a while, voice quiet.

‘’ I don’t want you to say anything, Jjong. I want you to do something, ‘’ Minho sighed.

The blonde’s eyes widened. ‘’ Do what? ‘’

A small smile brightened the other’s face. ‘’ You’re leaving that place anyways, so why not risk it all and ask your boss on a date? ‘’

Jonghyun seemed to forget how to swallow in that moment, because a second later air failed him and left him struggling through a coughing fit.

‘’ Are you crazy? ‘’ he shrieked when he finally recovered.

Minho chuckled. ‘’ Well, I’d say a little craziness never hurt nobody. ‘’ He then scooted a little closer, leaving little space between them. ‘’Plus, I’m getting tired of you moaning this man’s name whenever I’m fucking you. ‘’

Jonghyun felt his face burn with embarrassment, making him immediately look down. ‘’ That only happened once… ‘’

The words barely left his mouth, but Minho heard them loud and clear. ‘’ No, it happened twice. And if it happens a third time, I’ll start getting jealous… ‘’

Jonghyun looked up again, eyes lighting up with surprise. ‘’ But… we’re… ‘’ The rest of his words died in his throat, reluctant to see the light.

‘’ I know what we are, Jjong, ‘’ the brunette filled in. ‘’ So I’m telling you that you should pursue the one you really want before this thing between us starts getting complicated, ‘’ Minho advised, his words bearing the heaviness of an untold truth.

The blonde swallowed hard against his now dry throat. ‘’ Minho… I… ‘’

His attempt to respond was cut short by a finger pressing against his lips.

The brunette gave him a reassuring smile.

‘’ Don’t worry about me, Jjong. Just go for it. ‘’

Jonghyun wanted to protest, but in that moment, he could only nod.

                                                       ***

But actually going for it definitely wasn’t the easiest thing in the world. Jonghyun had started out with great resolve the next morning, but when he had actually set foot in the building again, every bit of courage he had mustered up on his way left him. He was reminded that this wasn’t just one of his colleagues he had to go talk to. No, it was the actual CEO of their company for god’s sake. And it wasn’t like he was running into him every day either, so he quickly realized that for this to work out somehow, he needed to actually ask for an appointment with him. Which…

… was more than terrifying.

Jonghyun could actually count the times he had talked to Mr. Lee.

The first time was almost two years ago when the man had been promoted to the CEO chair to follow in his newly retired father’s footsteps. Jonghyun had been so excited for the change because the first Mr. Lee had been a source of fear to all of them and had made the workplace a living hell.

The transition had been honored with a big event after work.

They all found themselves in one big room, impatiently waiting for the man’s first speech. A few minutes later, they were granted their wish. As soon as the new CEO stepped on stage to introduce himself, Jonghyun knew they were in for a great era. The handsome brunette was all smiles and frankly that made Jonghyun unable to focus on what he was actually saying. Never had a man left such a strong impression on him with his presence alone.

After the speech was over, all the employees scattered throughout the room to talk and rejoice while Mr. Lee took the time to introduce himself to everyone personally. Jonghyun didn’t actually think he would get to talk to him, but somehow the taller man found his way to him.  

‘’ And to who do I have the honor to be talking to? ‘’ Mr. Lee asked with a dashing smile as he stopped in front of him.

Jonghyun blinked a few times, mind stunned by the fact that this man was actually real and actually talking to him.

‘’ So should I assume you have no name then? ‘’ Mr. Lee teased with a soft laugh.

It had taken him a few more seconds, but Jonghyun had finally managed to remember his name before the man had continued with his round of greetings.

The second time they had talked was during a congratulatory dinner that had been arranged to celebrate the great work the Creative Affairs department had been putting in to keep their company on the map.

That night, Jonghyun found himself in the spotlight for his ideas to the grand displeasure of their team manager, baby face Mr. Lee as they liked to call him, but that didn’t dampen his pride one bit, especially when Mr. Lee called for a toast in his honor.

Jonghyun felt his heart flip inside his chest when he locked eyes with the man who was sitting at the opposite end of the table, but he swiftly diverted his attention to his glass, emptying its content in one swift gulp.

The night went on with pleasant conversations as they ate and drank more than they could handle, Jonghyun being one of the only reasonable ones. Being a light drinker, he kept himself in check, sipping slowly on his second glass of rum as he fell back into more of an observant role. The one thing he found himself watching the most was his team manager sucking up to their CEO. He had always hated that little brat and he knew the feeling was mutual, but his over the top reactions towards everything the older man said only solidified that feeling.

After a while, Jonghyun decided to give himself a break by going out for some fresh air, without knowing that this would turn out to be the best decision he could have made. In a strange twist of fate, Mr. Lee came into his line of sight a few seconds later with another one of his irresistible smiles.

‘’ Do you mind if I keep you company for a while? ‘’

Jonghyun shook his head. ‘’ Not at all… ‘’

He nervously watched as the brunette plunged his right hand into one of his black dress pants pockets and took out a packet of cigarettes. The shock must’ve been visible on his face, because then Mr. Lee said, ‘’ I gotta admit… I can’t shake off this bad habit. ‘’

The airy laughter that followed his words had Jonghyun feeling weak in the knees and in that moment, he found himself thinking that this man couldn’t possibly be human.

‘’ Do you want one? ‘’ Mr. Lee asked.

Jonghyun shook his head again, slightly embarrassed, which earned him another melodious laugh from the other.

‘’ Hmm, you’re one of the wise ones then… I see you didn’t drink much tonight, ‘’ the older man observed.

Jonghyun inadvertently scrunched up his nose. ‘’ I wouldn’t say I’m wise… ‘’

‘’ Do you have a bad habit then… or should I say a guilty pleasure? ‘’

Yeah, gushing like a little schoolgirl over a man I barely know.

‘’ Is that really the kind of thing I can admit to our CEO? ‘’ Jonghyun pointed out instead with a bashful smile.

Mr. Lee then graced him with a smile even brighter than any of the ones he had seen before, making Jonghyun suddenly fear that he would lose his sight.

‘’ I was right then. You are pretty wise. ‘’

Jonghyun had thought at that moment that this was going to be the end of him, that he was going to die right this instant, but somehow he had managed to stay alive to finish the conversation nicely and get back to work the next day. He had found himself with even more motivation to push himself and give his all to the company.

The last time they had talked was a little over a month ago when there had been the first announcement about the merger between LJ entertainment and KK entertainment.

That day, a special meeting was called with all employees and a few hours later they were listening with worry and anger at the news. Jonghyun was worried and angry too, but once again, Mr. Lee’s presence provided his mind and body with great distraction.

Once the tense meeting was over, they all went back to their offices, but as soon as Jonghyun settled back in his chair, he received a call from the CEO’s secretary telling him that Mr. Lee wanted to see him. Jonghyun had no clue why that would be, but he didn’t question the request and immediately started walking towards the feared location. He had never actually set foot in his office before since his team manager was the one talking on their behalf, so he felt terrified. Especially after such news.

When he finally entered the man’s office and closed the door behind him, he felt like this was going to be his final moment.

‘’ Sit down, Mr. Kim, ‘’ Mr. Lee indicated with a smile as he crossed his arms on top of his desk.

Jonghyun wasn’t reassured one bit by that smile; he had had plenty of occasions to witness them and he now felt confident in knowing when they were genuine and when they were forced. This one definitely fell in the latter category.

The blonde still sat, his body tense as he waited for a catastrophe to come. He waited patiently, fearfully, but silence dragged on as the man facing him looked down to the table he was leaning against.

Jonghyun grew even more scared, which made his heart do a painful flip in his chest when Mr. Lee looked up again.  

‘’ Do you think I made the right decision, Mr. Kim? ‘’

The blonde’s eyes widened, surprised. ‘’ Eh? ‘’

Mr. Lee’s face relaxed as he laughed. ‘’ I’m sorry, Mr. Kim. I should explain myself better, ‘’ he realized as he straightened up some more.

‘’ I’m talking about the merger of LJ with KK, ‘’ he then specified with a retrieved seriousness.

Jonghyun’s brows creased in a deep frown, still confused by the other man’s inquiry.  ‘’ I don’t understand, Mr. Lee… you’re the CEO, we trust you know what’s best for the company. ‘’

His words made the older man sigh. ‘’ Can I be honest with you, Mr. Kim? ‘’

The blonde’s teeth dug into his bottom lip, mind still fear-ridden, before he nodded.

‘’ Being the CEO of a company doesn’t mean you have all the right answers, ‘’ he immediately shared in a way that revealed to Jonghyun the burden he was carrying on his shoulders.

‘’ I didn’t take this decision lightly, but I now fear the consequences, ‘’ the brunette went on, gaze still digging into his.

‘’ I’m sure you made the right decision, ‘’ Jonghyun instantly reassured. He didn’t know that to be true, but he did trust in the man facing him.

The ghost of a smile danced across the older man’s lips. ‘’ I don’t want you to tell me what you think I’d like to hear. I want you to tell me what you honestly think. ‘’

Jonghyun tensed up even more at that, body paralyzed for a few seconds. When he finally managed to remember that he was a human being and not a static object, he said, ‘’ But… why me, sir? ‘’

Mr. Lee really smiled then. ‘’ Because as I once told you before, you seem to be a wise man. ‘’

Jonghyun felt himself blush and looked away. ‘’ Sir, I’m not… ‘’

‘’ And I don’t know the whole spectrum of business management so I’m really not in a good position to-

‘’ I didn’t call you here for that, ‘’ Mr. Lee interjected. ‘’ I’m asking for your opinion because your work here tells me that you’re a man with great vision and intuition. You constantly seem to be thinking outside the box and that’s what our company needs more of. ‘’

Jonghyun froze in a state of shock again. To hear this man say those words to him… It was…

‘’ If there is one thing I definitely regret is not talking about this with you first, ‘’ the other man added more quietly.

Jonghyun’s gaze instantly shifted to his face as his heart fluttered. The look he saw on it gave him every indication that he was not joking.  

Upon the other man’s insistence, he had managed to share his true nuanced thoughts, leaving him feeling distraught and grateful when he had finally stepped out of his office half an hour later that day.

Now, all this seemed to be part of another life; a life that was ending in a few days. Jonghyun knew his time was now or never, but he really couldn’t see himself actually taking that step.

He was utterly terrified.

                                                         ***

Another few days passed and Jonghyun now knew that he would be leaving the company and Mr. Lee behind forever. He had been too caught up in making sure the projects and ideas he had been working on would be carried out in the way he had intended them to, to actually plan out how he was going to confess to their CEO.

And there was no need to, really. Entertaining that thought had been childish all along and it really wasn’t viable in their adult corporate world. Jonghyun knew there had never been a chance for him to actually get a date with their CEO. This wasn’t some romance story that created unlikely situations to fulfill the reader’s desires. This was real life; his life.  

And in his life, he was now three days away from being released from his current duties and falling into an abyss full of anxiety and rum. He still didn’t understand how something like that could’ve happened to him, but there he was, going through his files to reminisce over all that he had created over the years. It wasn’t his property to take and leave with, but it was proof that he had made a difference here.

A difference that didn’t seem to matter in the grand scheme of things, but a difference nonetheless.

Jonghyun was just about to go on his lunch break when the phone on his desk rang. He frowned at the unfamiliar caller ID, but answered anyways.  

‘’Hello? ‘’

‘’ Hello, Mr. Kim. This is Mr. Lee. ‘’

Jonghyun froze, once again petrified by the only idea that this man wasn’t just some kind of unreachable mirage.

‘’ Mr. Kim? ‘’

A quiet exhale left him as he was brought back to the reality of the moment. ‘’ Y-yes? ‘’

‘’ I need to ask you a favor. ‘’

Jonghyun’s eyes widened in surprise and slight confusion. ‘’ A favor? ‘’

‘’ Yes, ‘’ the other man confirmed before taking a slight pause that had Jonghyun sliding to the edge of his chair, alert. ‘’ I would like you to have dinner with me tonight. ‘’

Jonghyun’s shock came out in a string of coughs that had him lowering the phone to actually get himself back into a normal breathing state.

He finally glued the phone back onto his ear after a few seconds. ‘’ E-excuse me, sir? ‘’

A breathy laugh ensued. ‘’ I guess I should work more on my communication skills before I actually get one of my employees killed. ‘’

The jest had Jonghyun feeling more relaxed, a foolish smile cracking his lips. ‘’ I wasn’t expecting that, sir… ‘’

‘’ Well I don’t aim to be predictable, Mr. Kim. ‘’

The man’s smooth answer had Jonghyun’s heart racing despite the unforgettable formality of their relationship.

‘’ I can see that… ‘’

‘’ So, will you join me for dinner? ‘’ the older man reiterated.

Jonghyun chewed on his bottom lip as one of his fingers curled around the phone’s cord, mind reeling with what could be behind that request. It was a few more seconds before he realized that losing an opportunity to spend more time with the man he longed for would be beyond stupid.

He needed to make the most of the little time he had left in his presence.  

‘’ Yes, sir, ‘’ he finally answered.

                                                        ***

Jonghyun looked slightly in awe and disbelief at his surroundings as the waiter guided him through a dimly lit hallway, lined on each side with sliding shōji doors. He had been in Japanese restaurants before, but never had he been in one of those private dining rooms he had seen many times in the movies.

They finally stopped in front of one of them. Jonghyun had no time to even think about bailing out as the waiter slid the door open and gestured for him to enter. Jonghyun gave him a quick parting bow before he stepped into the room. The sound of the door sliding shut instantly made fear rise fiercely inside him and the eye contact that quickly followed did nothing to help his distress.

The warm chocolate eyes he looked into suddenly disappeared behind a resplendent smile.

‘’ Good evening, Mr. Kim. ‘’

‘’ Good evening, Mr. Lee, ‘’ the blonde shyly reciprocated, barely moving an inch.

‘’ Are you just going to stand there? ‘’ the brunette bantered, chuckling.

Jonghyun felt his face heat up and quickly moved to divert his attention from the sensation. He took seat on the mat settled in front of the table, bringing him to eye-level with the taller man.

‘’ I’m glad you could make it, Mr. Kim, ‘’ the young CEO acknowledged with a gentler smile.

Jonghyun’s teeth dug slightly into his bottom lip, gaze expectant. ‘’ Why am I here, sir? ‘’

‘’ I will tell you soon, ‘’ Mr. Lee reassured. ‘’ But first, let’s order some food. ‘’

The blonde slowly nodded and took the menu that was handed to him. He glanced at the options that were on it, but his discomfort prevented him from really giving them any real thought. Here he was, alone with the man that had been the object of his desire for an excruciatingly long time now, and he had no idea how to act.

‘’ Did you make a choice? ‘’

The question snapped him back to attention and he found himself embarrassed by his lapse in focus.

‘’ Um… no… I don’t really know what to choose, ‘’ he admitted.

‘’ Hmm, well I know what’s good here… ‘’ Mr. Lee briefly pondered. ‘’ Do you mind if I order for us both? ‘’

Jonghyun shook his head vigorously, more than happy to relent control. ‘’ No sir, not at all. ‘’

A few seconds later, the waiter came back in and took the order before leaving them be again.

At that moment, Mr. Lee reached into a bag that Jonghyun hadn’t noticed before and took out a bottle and two glasses. Once they were all settled between them, the blonde finally saw what the bottle was.

‘’ Vieux domaine? ‘’ he immediately gasped as his eyes doubled in size.

A prideful smile lit up the other man’s face as he grabbed the bottle to open it. ‘’ Yes, I couldn’t help but notice that you always went for rum, so I thought I’d bring one of my favorites. ‘’

The blonde’s look of surprise went from the bottle to him as his heart fluttered. He couldn’t believe this man had paid attention to his drink of choice. He couldn’t believe this man was even paying any attention to him.

Mr. Lee gave him another warm smile before pouring some of the drink in each glass. Once he set the bottle down onto the table again, he asked, ‘’ Would you mind if we went on a first name basis? ‘’

The question did nothing to relax the other’s expression, making him look back at the other man as if he had just said that he wanted to bend him over the table and fuck him.

The brunette chuckled. ‘’ Am I asking for too much? ‘’

‘’ No, sir… it’s just… ‘’ Jonghyun’s eyes darted downwards. ‘’ It’s just… we’re not… ‘’

‘’ I know what we are… Jonghyun. ‘’ The emphasis on his name had the blonde look up again, his face still unable to conceal his bewilderment. ‘’ But right now, I want this conversation to feel more comfortable, more… open, ‘’ the older man pinpointed in a tone that felt utterly honest.

Jonghyun slowly nodded as the other man’s words started registering in his mind. He knew calling his boss by his first name wasn’t going to be comfortable, but he felt honored to have that privilege.

‘’ Okay… Jinki, ‘’ he tried, before instantly cringing. Saying it in the privacy of his apartment was one thing, but saying it to the actual man was another. It didn’t feel right.

‘’ Jonghyun, ‘’ the other firmly called as he watched his employee recoil in a hunched stance.

The latter looked up again, embarrassed. ‘’ Relax, please, ‘’ the brunette insisted. He then took his glass into his hand. ‘’ Let’s drink. ‘’

The warm smile he was given then did help Jonghyun relax a bit and he picked up his own glass. Watching the other raise his glass, he did the same and brought it to his lips after a shared smile. He hummed in contentment as the different accents of warm spices mixed in with the rum danced across his taste buds before continuing their voyage down his throat.

‘’ I haven’t had that one in a while, ‘’ Jonghyun shared. ‘’ Thank you, si- ‘’ He bit his lip. ‘’ Jinki, ‘’ he rectified in a voice that had a little less assurance.  

Jonghyun didn’t miss how the one facing him tried to restrain himself from laughing. ‘’ It’s my pleasure, ‘’ Jinki finally replied.

The door slid open at that moment and in came a group of waiters and waitresses carrying various plates of food. By the time everything was displayed on the table, Jonghyun was left wondering how they would possibly be able to go through all of it.

Once the restaurant’s employees made their way out and slid the door shut again, the blonde finally voiced his concern.

‘’ Um… this is a lot of food… ‘’

The brunette grinned. ‘’ Yes, it is, ‘’ he agreed before picking up chopsticks and grabbing a maki with them. Jonghyun watched as his boss’ cheeks puffed out as he chewed, thinking in that moment that there probably was no cuter sight than this one.

He followed suit by picking up his own chopsticks, but he first went for a strip of wagyu beef. He couldn’t help the moan that left him as a different set of flavors invaded his mouth. He felt his stomach grumble for more and immediately went for a few other strips before going through a few of the other dishes, momentarily forgetting about everything else.

His stomach finally let some space for his mind to think again when he felt an intent look on him. He paused and looked at his boss with worry, but the latter just smiled at him.

‘’ Seems like we both have quite an appetite, ‘’ the brunette playfully noted.

Jonghyun felt the heat of a fierce blush creep up his neck and cheeks.  

‘’ I’m sorry. It’s just really good, ‘’ he said quietly.

Jinki’s face brightened up even more. ‘’ I’m glad you think so. It’s my favorite restaurant. ‘’

The blonde’s heart flipped. Favorite restaurant?

‘’ Sir… ‘’ Fuck. ‘’ I mean, Jinki, ‘’ Jonghyun started again. ‘’ I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but… why am I here? ‘’

There was a sigh first, before Jinki’s expression became grave. ‘’ Because what I feared became a reality… I made a mistake. ‘’

Jonghyun’s brow cocked as a mix of surprise and confusion seized him. ‘’ What mistake? ‘’

‘’ The merger, ‘’ Jinki instantly replied, voice tense.

‘’ How is it already a mistake? ‘’ the blonde asked, still confused.

‘’ Because the company is losing you because of it. ‘’

The intensity with which the answer came sent chills down Jonghyun’s spine. Searching the other’s eyes, he realized that the decision had not been run by him beforehand.

‘’ Who made that decision? ‘’ he inquired as an answer immediately formed in his mind.

Jinki sighed again. ‘’ I… I gave each team manager the liberty to make their cuts, since they know their team members best … ‘’ His gaze wavered briefly. ‘’ I never thought for a moment that you’d be cut in the process. ‘’

Jonghyun’s lips thinned into a tight line as his jaw clenched. The thought of kicking his manager’s non-existent butt was very strong, but he managed to rein in his anger as he took hold of his glass and gulped down the rest of its content.

Looking again at his boss, he said, ‘’ Manager Lee never liked me, so his decision makes perfect sense. ‘’

‘’ I should’ve anticipated that, ‘’ Jinki remarked. ‘’ A man with your talent is inevitably going to make other people envious. ‘’

Jonghyun’s anger immediately melted from the heat the other man’s praise created in his body.

‘’ I’m not that talented… ‘’ he abashedly noted.  

‘’ Yes, you are, ‘’ the older man immediately countered. ‘’ And if it wasn’t for the sake of impartiality, I would’ve bypassed his decision and kept you anyways. ‘’

Jonghyun looked back at him in disbelief, convinced that if this kept on this way, he would meet his end.

‘’ I’m trying to fix my mistake, Jonghyun, ‘’ Jinki went on before pausing to take in some of his drink.

‘’ I’ve been making some calls to people I know for the past few days and I found you a similar position in another company, ‘’ he then revealed as he looked at the younger one earnestly.

Every muscle in the blonde’s body tensed up as a strong sense of unease grew inside him.

‘’ Sir, ‘’ Jonghyun voiced, before cursing himself once more for the slip. ‘’ Jinki… I can’t accept that from you. ‘’  

The older man’s face lit up with surprise. ‘’ Why? ‘’

‘’ Because I think you’re not making a wise choice putting so much faith in me like that… you don’t know me… ‘’

They locked eyes, darker ones still glowing with surprise as paler ones dimmed with worry.

‘’ I have everything I need to make a wise decision, ‘’ Jinki stated with conviction. ‘’ Your work speaks for itself. ‘’

Jonghyun looked away, crushed, realizing that the only interest the other man had in him was for his work. He should’ve been happy to be noticed for that, but it became even more clear to him in that moment that it would never be enough.

He looked up again. ‘’ You did say you wanted this conversation to be more open, right? ‘’

Jinki nodded. ‘’ Yes, I want you to be able to say what’s on your mind. ‘’

Jonghyun acknowledged his words with a nod of his own, teeth digging into his lip again as a spike of fear stabbed his chest. He knew he was about to make a fool of himself, but he also knew there would never be another opportunity like this for him.

He had to seize it.

‘’ Jinki… ‘’ he started quietly. ‘’ There is something I want more than a job right now. ‘’

‘’ Oh… what is it? ‘’ the other asked with genuine interest.

‘’ I… ‘’ Jonghyun took a deep breath. ‘’ I want to get to know you on a more personal level. ‘’

Jinki smiled. ‘’ I’ve been wanting that too, that’s why I wanted us to have a more comfortable conversation. ‘’

‘’ But… you probably mean that in a friendship type of way while I don’t… ‘’

His confession had him looking away, eyes darting downwards to his crossed legs to prevent himself from seeing the utter disgust on his boss’ face.

There was a pause, a long pause, leaving the blonde to wonder if he should just apologize and leave, but before he could actualize those actions, the silence was broken by the other’s voice.

‘’ You mean… you want us to be more than friends? ‘’

The older man’s soft and quiet tone had Jonghyun’s eyes flicking upwards. They searched his face, but it gave him no further clue. His expression was unreadable.

‘’ Yes, ‘’ he admitted with as much strength as he could pull out from himself in that moment.

The brunette’s chest heaved with a deep inhale before he released that breath through a quiet sigh. He wasn’t looking at Jonghyun anymore, instead, he directed his attention to his glass before picking it up and downing it like the other had previously.

When Jonghyun saw him fill their two glasses again, he realized the door wasn’t being shut in his face. He still had space to speak.

‘’ I’ve wanted to ask you out on a date for a very long time now… ‘’ he said with a little more confidence.

That seemed to bring the other man out of his bubble. ‘’ Jonghyun… ‘’ His voice sounded unsure, vulnerable, making Jonghyun’s brow furrow with concern.

‘’ If the circumstances were any different, I’d say yes to you. I’ve had these thoughts too, but… I’m in a difficult position… ‘’

Jonghyun felt a little soothed by Jinki’s saddened expression and sincere tone, but it did nothing to lessen the sorrow that spread through him.  

‘’ You mean… because you’re a CEO? ‘’ he croaked as the feeling menaced to spill out of him.

Jinki just nodded, eyes glinting with a pain of his own.

‘’ It doesn’t have to be known… ‘’ Jonghyun spontaneously offered as his mind grasped at any little thread of hope it could possibly find.

Jinki looked at him, stunned. ‘’ I can’t ask you to be a secret, Jonghyun… ‘’

‘’ You’re not asking, I’m offering, ‘’ Jonghyun asserted. ‘’ I can’t believe I’m even saying this myself, but if there is no other way, I’m fine with it. I just want to be close to you. ‘’

Jinki pondered the thought, eyes zeroing in on his glass again. When his eyes fell back on the blonde’s face, he felt his chest tighten.

‘’ I don’t want to say no to you… ‘’

‘’ Well don’t then, ‘’ Jonghyun instantly threw back.

‘’ But what if… ‘’ Jinki stopped himself.

Before he could continue, Jonghyun jumped in. ‘’ Let’s not think too far ahead. Let’s just start with a date, alright? ‘’

Jinki’s shoulders relaxed slightly as he slowly wrapped his mind around the idea. ‘’ Alright. ‘’

The blonde’s lips twitched upwards at the unexpected turn of events before his hand curled around his glass again. ‘’ Should we toast to that? ‘’

Jinki’s brows furrowed in confusion. ‘’ To what? ‘’

‘’ To you bringing me to another fancy restaurant for our first date, ‘’ Jonghyun half joked, half decided.

That had the other’s face lighting up brightly again as he laughed a frank laugh. ‘’ Why should I be the one treating you? You asked me on a date, so it should be the other way around. ‘’

The blonde’s lips curled into a cute pout. ‘’ I’m going to be jobless soon, remember? ‘’

Jinki ignored the leap his heart took inside his chest at the endearing sight and said, ‘’ Not if you take that job I was telling you about. ‘’

Jonghyun scrunched up his nose at the idea. ‘’ I’ll think about it… ‘’

‘’ What could possibly stop you from saying yes? ‘’ the older man wondered, confounded.

‘’ A few things, but… there are many ways you could persuade me right now… ‘’ Jonghyun hinted in a tone that held no subtlety, before choking back a chuckle at the other’s flustered expression.

Clearing his throat, the brunette said, ‘’ This is a business meeting, Jonghyun. Not a date. ‘’

That was all it took to have Jonghyun’s eyes glinting with hope. ‘’ So you mean that next time… ‘’

‘’ I don’t mean anything, Jonghyun, ‘’ Jinki immediately dismissed.

‘’ You certainly are comfortable to say what’s on your mind now, ‘’ he then observed with a slight note of annoyance.

‘’ Well that’s what you wanted, wasn’t it? ‘’ Jonghyun reminded, not without some defiance.

Jinki’s jaw tensed, but not from anger. ‘’ I’m still your CEO, behave. ‘’

‘’ Hmm, right, ‘’ Jonghyun hummed. ‘’ I only have to wait a few more days... ‘’

That had Jinki shaking his head as he bit back a smile. ‘’ You are something else. ‘’

‘’ Well now that I know that my desire wasn’t completely foolish, I’m not going to hold back. ‘’

Jinki looked up to find the blonde’s eyes and shivered from the intensity in them. It was a few seconds before the energy in the room shifted into a more relaxed atmosphere as the latter’s eyes brightened with a soft smile.  

Grabbing his glass again, Jonghyun asked, ‘’ Can we make it official with a toast now? ‘’

‘’ Yes, sure, ‘’ Jinki agreed as he found himself spellbound by the other.

‘’ To our first date, ‘’ Jonghyun said, grinning.

‘’ To our first date, ‘’ Jinki echoed as he returned the smile.

They broke contact briefly to drink before locking eyes again, matching smiles dancing on their lips.

It was a little more than an hour later when Jinki voiced that he should be taking his leave. By then, they had cleared most plates on the table and had gone through almost all the bottle of rum.

The brunette got up swiftly, making Jonghyun do the same, although a little more clumsily. 

'' Well, I guess it's goodnight then, '' the younger one said first despite his desperate want to spend more time with the other. 

'' You know we can leave this place together, right? '' Jinki reminded, a slight note of amusement lacing his tone.

The remark had the blonde biting his lip in embarrassment. 

'' Right... ''

Jinki smiled fondly at the cuteness he was faced with before taking a few steps to close the distance between them. 

Looking into the other's bright eyes from such a close distance made his heart stop for a moment before its rate quickened to an unsustainable pace.

Before he could tell himself not to, he pulled the smaller man in for a kiss, his strong hands grabbing at his small waist.

Jonghyun's eyes widened in shock before his lids slowly fell over his eyes. He kissed back softly, one hand settling at the back of the taller one's neck, right before a quiet moan left him as he savored the feeling of Jinki's soft and sweet lips on his.

Jonghyun wanted more, but before he could claim it, the other pulled back a bit.

Jinki tried to speak, but found himself lost in the intensity beaming from the other's gaze. Not able to resist, he pressed his lips once more against his, relishing the soft sound it brought out of the other.

But before he could lose himself even more, he pulled back again, this time taking a step back to put more distance between them.

'' I'm sorry, '' Jinki said, eyes darting to the floor.

'' There is no need to be, '' Jonghyun instantly replied as he took in the brunette's troubled expression.

That didn't seem to reassure the other one as a long sigh left him.

Jonghyun's throat tightened with worry, but before that feeling could incapacitate him, he stepped closer to the taller one and said, '' I don't want you to feel guilty about this. ''

Jinki looked up, eyes dark with his own load of worry. '' I know... It's just... I really like you and I didn't expect the night to take that turn and... '' He paused to catch his breath. '' And I guess I'm just a little overwhelmed right now. ''

Jonghyun felt himself melt at that. '' You're so cute, '' he couldn't help but say before smiling at the subtle blush his words created on the other's face.

'' I get it, Jinki, " he finally addressed. '' But like I said, let's just take it one step at a time. ''

Jinki nodded, shoulders relaxing. '' Yes, you're right. ''

That was enough to get them going and a few minutes later, they finally stepped out of the restaurant.

'' So it's really goodnight, then? '' Jonghyun said again, lightly rocking his body back and forth, as they stopped in front of Jinki's car.

'' Yes, but we'll see each other very soon, '' Jinki promised with a smile.

Jonghyun returned the smile before stepping back. He reluctantly waved him goodbye when he finally settled in his car seat and started the engine.

Once he walked away and entered his own car, he couldn't help but fear that this night had all been a dream.

It was only the next day that he got confirmation of how real it had been when the HR lady called him in and told him that there had been a mistake and that he wasn't going to be cut after all. 

Jonghyun left her office feeling beyond relieved, astounded and even more enamored with the man that would remain his CEO after all.  

 _____________________________________________________________________________________________

AFF  AO3

[veridium]

the kids aren’t alright

college au update aka I’m finally getting to write some wonderful dating fluff so what if it’s all nervous and a bit clumsy? it’s so stinkin’ adorable. have fun, readers! 

special thanks to one of my favorite Fall Out Boy songs for the title. 

chapter index + previous episode

--

So they are dating.

Not just friends, not just hanging out. Dating. Dating? Dating.

When Olivia says goodbye to Cassandra on Sunday night, first order of business is to sit on her bed and overthink things, of course. Even while doing homework with her typical fearsome dedication. They’re dating. It��s a step that needs getting used to all of Monday while their days keep them apart: Cassandra has an evening exam to work on, and Olivia needs her alone time to process, anyways. They still text, though; they’re good about that when they want to be.

But then, it’s Tuesday. Tuesday, when they can cross paths. They lose the ‘privacy’ of a weekend free of classes and intermingling with the rest of the student body. How is that going to go?

It’s just past 8:30am and she’s putting in silver stud earrings when someone knocks on her half-open door. “Look alive,” Ellinor says as she enters, backpack on with jeans and a long-sleeve pullover on.  Both look clean. Hm, she must have found time for laundry in between her stringent schedule of being Cullen’s respirator and procuring flowers for her nice plastic vase.

“Morning!” she runs her fingers through her loose and combed hair. Waves of blonde that look effortless, but are really the work of a 7:30am shower and a 7:45 blow dry.

“Fun plans for today?”

“Class.” She’s curt, but she means it. Class is fun. Yet Ellinor only groans and kicks back on the freshly-made bed. Living in a single occupancy dorm room has its perks, but with her friends, the term ‘single’ doesn’t really hit home. More like ‘selective.’

“Class. What, no…?” Ellinor tries to tease it out of her. She can’t blame her -- it only takes 30 seconds and a brief glance to know Olivia is on edge. She sucks at retaining some semblance of calm. Then again, Ellinor of all people could be trusted to do well by it. She’s kind and wonderful like that.

But the question remains: what’s going to happen?

“Uh, no,” she shakes her head, assembling her notebooks from her desk table. Two, both political science, just with different course numbers written in sharpie on the front. She’ll need the third one already in her backpack for the class she TA’s for, and then she’ll be set.

Her phone vibrates on her pillow but she’s too distracted to run for it, leaving Ellinor the perfect, gaping open window to do the honors herself. She makes a “tsk” sound.

“You’re a dirty liar, Olivia Sinclair. You’ve been texting her all morning! Who texts this much at 7am?”

“It is not that much!” she hisses, rushing over and swiping the phone away from her. It isn’t all that much: just a good morning, then some playful wordplay, and about plans for the day...she answers more in depth than she did Ellinor: classes, possibly a workout in the afternoon if she feels up for it. Then she’s subbing for an evening dance class because her coworker is out sick still. Cassandra shares much the same detail. It’s perfectly normal. Right?

Ellinor doesn’t flinch. “Alright then…”

“It’s...I’m…” Olivia clicks her home button and tossing the phone on her desk by her bag.

“So, are you going to invite her to the party, or blindfold her until we pull up in the driveway?”

Maybe. Could that work? “No! I’m telling her, okay, it’s only Tuesday. Shit.”

“Only Tuesday. You said you’d ask her yesterday when we got Boba. Soon it’ll be Wednesday, then Friday, and she’ll be wondering why you aren’t around for your brooding Planet Earth marathon date.”

“Hey! Planet Earth is a masterpiece!” She’s never seen more than 15 minutes of Planet Earth in her entire life thanks to a High School Biology class Sub.

Ellinor rolls her eyes, air blowing out her puffed cheeks as she lazily slides feet first off the bed like some all-knowing smug-slug. Back on her feet, she hooks her thumbs on her backpack straps and shrugs. “Liv, you know I’m not her biggest fan--”

“Oh! Ohoho! Bombshell tonight! Call Nancy Grace!”

“Man,” Ellinor winces, eyes closed as she heads for the door, “you are still terrible to be around under-caffeinated. Look, all I’m saying is, the writing’s on the wall. You want your girl--”

“We are not using labels yet.”

“--to come to a party with you, you tell her about the party. Step one.”

Olivia sighs and leans against her chair, legs crossing. Their Sunday heart-to-heart only 24 hours gone, and Ellinor is back to pushing sense. Who gave her the right? If Olivia hadn’t been just as terrorizing with her, she’d call foul. Only, with one park bench rant and Rutherfaker stand-off in the hallway under her belt, she knows she’s the last sinner to throw a stone. Besides, Ellinor is right.

Ugh, Cassandra hates parties. She hates parties and she hates drama. Since they have collided, Olivia has introduced a bounty of both things. But this is who she is: she works hard, dances on tables on the weekends sometimes, and lurks on soccer field grass with her best friend like a fool. The everyday college student, she is.

“You’re worrying.” Ellinor cuts in, and Olivia comes to. They’re both still standing there, like statues, while she has descended down the rabbit hole of internal questions and concerns. With renewed gusto she tosses her notebooks in her bag and adjusts the way her black jumpsuit fits around her waist.

“I’m worrying. But I have a right to.” She walks over to where her shoes are neatly stacked on the a rack, and picks out her dark red velvet boot heels. “Even if she does agree, she definitely isn’t wearing a costume.”

“Oh, LORD forbid,” Ellinor rolls her eyes, hands up in the air before she slips out the door. Probably to immediately pull out her phone and gawk at whatever cutesy bitmoji Cullen sent her after five minutes of not messaging.

It’s not like her and Cassandra couldn’t have the exact same glee about things. Shouldn’t they be gleeful? Is that the correct term? After all this would be the honeymoon stage in all the stereotypical romantic comedies. Bleh.

She continues to mull over it throughout her back-to-back morning classes, and her notes are uncharacteristically direct and thorough, even for her. When she writes, she exerts her anxiety on the page -- this is why she stopped using mechanical pencils after freshman year. Poor .7 lead never stands a chance. Coming out of class, she decides it’s her turn to make the plan.

Hey, meet me for lunch after class at 12:30? Or do you have somewhere else to be?

Cassandra, within a minute or two:

Sure. I just have to drop off books to a Professor. Meet me by the benches on North side?

Olivia: Yep! Sounds good! :)

Lunch plans. Those are good. Those are nice. Maybe they can talk and be cute, and she won’t revile it or find some reason to feel uncomfortable with it. It’s just...so surreal. Lucky enough, it’s a beautiful day outside. Fall is in full bloom, and the leaves that were once changing color are now beginning to release themselves from the abundant trees all over campus. Quad is especially scenic, so much so when she parks herself with her butt on the top of the bench and her feet in the seat, she actually enjoys the moment. Taking perhaps her first long, relaxed breath of fresh air she has had all day.

“Olivia!”

Well, that was short-lived.

Opening her eyes and looking up and down the concrete path, the first thing she sees is a nice grey peacoat buttoned around a nimble and tall body. There’s a strap of a backpack on one shoulder only, and a white and gold glittery beanie on a head of auburn red hair. Oh, not again.

“Leliana.” She braces, her flight or fight instinct dueling for dominance in her head. If she can projectile spit and then run, she could make it. It’d be fine. Or, even better, kick some muddy leaves on her expensive looking shoes. 

Leliana approaches as if there’s absolutely no problem with her existence as far as Olivia is concerned, hands in her pockets and grin on her face. When she reaches the ground in front of the bench, she halts and rocks onto her toes.

“Hey. It’s been a while!”

“It’s been a week.” Not long enough, would be my true answer.

“I...can’t believe how fast the semester’s gone. It’s almost Thanksgiving. And Halloween is tomorrow!”

“Yep. Tomorrow.”

“Got any fun plans?” she keeps smiling.

“Uh, no,” Olivia manages to animate herself with a shrug. Otherwise she’s pretty much a gargoyle on the poor bench. “I don’t really go out during the Holiday itself. It’s a lot of...unnecessary antics.”

Leliana nods and steps even closer. “Yeah, you have a point. Hey, could I talk to you for a second?”

Oh Jesus please take the wheel and drive me promptly into a brick wall. “Uh...well, I’m supposed to be--”

“Meeting Cassandra for lunch. I know! I won’t stay long.”

Oh, will you? Olivia fights off a scowl. She can only hope Leliana found out about their lunch plans the old fashioned way called ‘texting’ or ‘pleasant conversation,’ but a part of here fears her phone camera’s been hacked. Nevertheless, she scoots off to the side, thereby inviting her to sit down. Once seated, Leliana pivots towards her, and crosses one leg over the other. The well-meaning smile then dissipates.

“Look, I know...you may not have the best opinions about me after what happened at the Gala. If you’d let me, I’d like to explain myself.”

“Oh?” Olivia raises a brow, back arching. “And what possible explanation could make me understand why you felt the need to take digs at me in public so that I would become upset? You barely even know me. What gi--”

“You’re right, I barely know you. But, try to look at it from my point-of-view: one of my good friends suddenly perks up about a girl, after denying herself the chance for so long. She starts getting all wound up, and before you know it, she starts hanging out with her, only every few days when you reach out to check in, she says she’s upset about something or other. If you’re me, you’re pretty damn concerned as to what this girl’s intentions are, and you want to investigate for yourself. So I...got a little carried away. I can admit that.”

Olivia is side-eyeing her so hard she wonders if she’s using x-ray vision through the bridge of her nose. Once again someone has been a dick for the sake of friendship, then. Fine, she can understand that...but the one thing she can’t figure out is how Leliana seems to come out of nowhere. Cassandra had never mentioned her throughout any of their hangouts or conversations. For all she knew, Cullen was her one companion.

“Thanks for that. I guess.” She does her best to loosen up, but her pride gets in the way of a lot of things. Shit, maybe she is Pride. Maybe that is what she’ll be for Halloween. Priorities, Liv.

“You’re welcome. I can see now you aren’t just spinning for a good time at the expense of someone else’s feelings, or else you wouldn’t have bothered coming back around after what happened. Cassandra is difficult sometimes.”

“She isn’t difficult, she’s just deliberate.”

Leliana grins. “Cassandra is many things.”

“How do you two even know each other? I never saw you around when we were first starting to hang out. She doesn’t…”

“She doesn’t mention me?” her grin grows into a smile as she rests her elbow back behind her. “I know. It doesn’t bother me. She and I met when we were both involved with the Campus Chapel. Josie might have told you I was a Student Chaplain last year?”

“Uh…” she hesitates on whether to admit they’ve discussed her, but she can’t resist the chance to know more about Cassandra even if it’s through her. “Yes.”

“Yeah! We ended up working together a lot on events and volunteer stuff. It took awhile for us to be anything but that. She’s a hard cookie to crumble. I am, too, though.”

“She’s...she’s a cookie, alright.”

Leliana giggles, and her gaze returns to her. “On a...well, okay,” she adjusts, “can I be real with you?”

“Real? Have you not been real this entire time?”

“Oh, hush,” she giggles some more, “I’m serious.”

“Sure.”

Leliana’s face goes back to that mature expression she had when she first sat down. Solemn. “I know that it may be easy to believe Cassandra is as put-together and unbreakable. But...you should know, it’s not all there is to her.”

Olivia shakes her head a bit. “I didn’t think it was.”

“I know, but, just trust me on this one. I know from experience.”

“Experience?”

She sighs under her breath, and dares to place a hand on Olivia’s knee. “Just be careful with her. I tease, but, she is my friend.” She then stands, facing her head on. It’s slightly intimidating -- scratch that, considerably. Leliana is jovial, but there’s an intensity to her. One you catch if you look long enough.

“I trust you get me when I say I would do anything for my friend’s happiness,” she adds, taking hold of her shoulder bag handle. Olivia doesn’t know whether to take that as a compliment, or a threat. Either way, she continues to eye her but play along.

“I do,” she answers, tucking some hair behind her own ear. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Leliana waves her hand, before looking over her shoulder. They both do, because coming up the path is a well-dressed woman with short black hair, a knee-length blazer coat, and those black leggings Olivia cuddled against on the couch Saturday afternoon. In that moment, Leliana’s reply hits home.

Not long after it does, she is smiling at Olivia and stepping back onto her merry way. “You’re turning heads. Take care.” She walks with a pep in her step, departing just as Cassandra draws near.

Well, that wasn’t foreboding at all, Olivia thinks to herself as she watches Leliana’s beanie grow smaller and harder to see through the neighboring figures walking to-and-from her direction. Cassandra’s boots scuff onto the grass, jerking Olivia’s attention out of her staring.

“What did Leliana want?” she asks, already folding her arms. Her nice leather satchel shines in the sunlight like it’s polished.

She sounds displeased. “Leliana?” Olivia blinks, “Oh, she just wanted to clear the air about the Gala. To say sorry.”

Cassandra’s eyes narrow and gaze down the path where her very nice and peculiar friend had gone. Not convinced. “Really. That’s it?”

“Yes!” Olivia smiles and hops off the bench, nearer to her. Her movement distracts Cassandra, which is what she hoped for. “You said it yourself, she’s your friend. You don’t trust her to make things right?”

“I trust her to do a lot of things. Namely: too much.” She starts to get caught up in it, but rather than raising the heat, she loosens up her shoulders. It’s like a well-oiled machine of emotions.

Cassandra then changes the subject to salvage the moment. “Anyway, I thought we could try the Greek place on the corner by Williamson?”

Olivia smiles. Now she’s talking. Dusting off her thighs, she follows at her side as they walk. The first bit of their journey is quiet, observant of the goings-on. It’s peak campus foot traffic, as people hurry to overwhelm the different food hubs all around. Cassandra doesn’t just have good taste, she has smart taste: Williamson is in a tucked corner, perhaps the most removed from the rush hour. Olivia had learned this when she went with Ellinor once, trying to satiate her Greek craving with the nearest place on Google Maps.

As they near the shop, Cassandra breaks the silence. “Yesterday was fun. Thank you again for making breakfast.”

“What? Oh!” Olivia waves it off, “It’s no big deal, stop thanking me! It was good to...to cook again.”

“Everything okay?” Cassandra notices the slight low-tick in her tone at the end. It’s almost cliche, the way it happens -- and she hopes she wouldn’t catch it. But she does.

“Yeah,” she brushes it off, “I’m just still processing lecture.”

Cassandra smiles, and lowers her gaze to the ground in front of them as they round the corner. It’s easy being like this with her. Easier than all the hype Olivia builds in her head about the way things are, the way they should be, and what they aren’t. In the moment, in the thick of it, it all makes sense. No comparison and no longing.

She folds her arms against her chest as they keep going. Only a minute or so ‘till gyro goodness.

--

An hour later they are sprawled on playfield grass nearby the shop, under the sparse shade of old trees planted around the perimeter of it. A bit like the Siberia of the campus athletic areas, out on its own in a nook of campus not many people frequent. For casual picnicking with food and bare feet in the grass for two women who say they have distaste for exhibiting affection, though, it’s perfect. 

Besides, they’re sharing bites of each other’s food, now. That shit is damn-near explicit. No one wants to see that rated X, woman-on-woman action. 

“I think we had a practice out here, once,” Cassandra balls up her gyro foil, the remnants of a meal long-gone. “It was miserable, actually.”

Olivia has long-devoured her gyro into oblivion, and is laying flat on her back beside her with her glasses on, taking in the blue and cloudy sky. “Oh? Is the grass not...green enough?”

“Is that a serious question?”

“I don’t know! Is grass...like...a factor to consider?”

“In a way, yeah.”

“Oh…” she wrinkles her nose, a foot itching the other with toes. “Huh.”

“Think of it this way,” she says as she twists open her hydroflask, the squeaking sound of the seal an echo of every single time a person does during class seminar discussions. “You’re a dancer. Flooring matters, right?”

“Pff, yeah, you won’t catch me launching myself six feet in the air to land on gravel.”

“See? It’s like soccer. Or any field sport. The grass you land on, run on, fall on. It matters.”

Olivia stares up at her shoulder, and can only imagine what her face looks like. It must be beautiful, because there’s an excitement in her voice that is almost infectious. Maybe, if she stays exposed to it, she could grow a...tolerance, of athletic occupations. Maybe. Maybe with Cassandra, she could do a whole lot of things.

She’s been to quiet. Cassandra glances down, looking like she’s expecting Olivia to be asleep or something. But when their eyes meet, it’s all grins and unexpected butterflies.

“You’re teaching me something new every day,” Olivia remarks as she lifts herself up, propping on her hands. “I like that. Keep doing that.”

Cassandra reclines back to be shoulder-to-shoulder with her. “I’ll keep doing it as long as you want,” she says sweetly, “even if you wish to argue about it sometimes.”

“It helps me process information. If I can’t fight about it, it isn’t worth knowing.”

“Socrates, reincarnated.”

“Not even!” Olivia chuckles, nudging her. She lingers in the lean-in a bit indulgently. Cassandra nudges her back, until they are both veering into one another and away like haphazard pendulums. Then, their faces still in suspension close enough to tempt. And then, the lean...the closing in...slow closing of the eyes...and then the kiss. If anything could convince Olivia movie scenes in life were real, it was the way it felt getting used to kissing her. To being kissed by her. To be the person she kissed, out of everyone.

She gets into it. Too into it. It’ll overwhelm things. She stops herself and pulls back. Her lip rolls as their eyes open into each other, and Cassandra looks a bit surprised.

“Um…agh,” she says, a bit short on a breath, but happy. 

Olivia grins. “Yeah. I know.” It’s terrifying. And so good.

Cassandra exhales in a smile, and they separate. This, this is the honeymoon sensation. Everything feels right, and generous. This is what makes brave risks happen.

Olivia pulls her knees up against her chest and opens her mouth. Pausing, and struggling, but she gets it out. “H-hey, I keep meaning to ask you something.”

“Yeah?”

“This weekend. Do you have anything planned?”

“This weekend?” Cassandra tilts her chin, gazing out at the empty half-brown field. “Not really. I mean, if you wanted to do anything, I was going to…” she trails off. The butterflies hum in Olivia’s core, but she does her best to stay steady.

“Oh! Uh, yeah. Well, that’s what I was gonna say. Our friend Dorian, he’s having this Halloween party thing. Ellinor and I were invited, and we can bring plus ones. I was...I mean I know you’re not into parties like, in the...the Hangover sense…”

“‘The Hangover’ sense?” She asks, alarmed. 

“Uh y--no! Not that bad, just!” she laughs anxiously, “okay more like...like Clueless.”

“The one where the guy is an asshole and she and her best friend get a fight ab--”

“No, try...uh...fuck,” she shuts her eyes hard and taps her forehead, “well, okay, it’s a thing. It’s just...a production. Dorian, he--”

“Dorian Pavus, right? I know him.”

Olivia’s train of thought, derailed in a half-second’s worth of what the fuck. Her eyes go wide, and she whips her head around. “You know Dorian Pavus? God, please don’t say Church. Don’t say it.”

Cassandra raises a brow. “No. Not Church. I don’t know him well, but I know of him. He’s...interesting.”

“He’s really cool. I mean, we go to the same gym and he works there part-time like me. I mean, he’s...he usually just calls me the name of a blonde character. Like Elle Woods or...you know, Piper Chapman.”

“Piper Chapman.”

“...Yeah.”

Cassandra nods slow. “Okay. So, I was right to say...interesting.”

“Okay yeah fine. But he throws amazing parties, and all of my little crowd will be there. Ellinor and Cullen are going!” She throws it in like it’s a last ditch brownie point to take her over the edge. The look of overt skepticism on Cassandra’s face is telling, though.

“I imagine this won’t be no small backyard BBQ,” she rejoins, taking a second sip from her open canteen before putting the cap back on. “But this also explains why Cullen all of a sudden started his laundry this morning.”

“Does he not do his laundry?”

“He…” Cassandra looks for the words, “He does. It’s not that he’s not all about that kind of stuff. It’s just...for some reason laundry is like a tell-tale sign he’s emotionally preparing himself for something. Once, his sister tried to run off to Nevada to be in some cover band her friends made and his half of the suite smelled like lavender linen on steroids.”

“Oh…” Olivia frowns, “that’s...intense.”

“Yeah. It was fine though, in the end. Don’t say I told you that. He’d die if anyone found out. Especially you, or the team.”

“No worries. I don’t really hang out in that crowd anyway, you know that. I mean, Ellinor and I showing up at Rylen’s party...”

“Rylen doesn’t throw parties, he throws beer in an ice cooler and pulls out a frisbee yelling at everyone to dare him to ‘Air Bud’ it,” Cassandra jests harshly, her legs criss-crossing as she sits up.

“I wasn’t saying...well, I just meant that it’s not the same thing. Dorian’s parties aren’t small like that, but they’re fun! And good people will be there. I’d like you to go with me.” With me.

Cassandra quietly looks ahead. Her fingers pensively tousle and twist at the grass, but she doesn’t prick or pull. Only feeling, only tactile.

“Liv, there’s…there’s reasons why I tend to keep things lowkey.”

“I know,” she’s quick to offer compassion, perhaps a little too quick. “I get it. No drama, the better. I just didn’t want to go on ahead without considering you. We did say...well, you said we should be compassionate with each other, and communicate.”

Cassandra half-smiles, and her shoulders roll straight. “Yeah, but there’s...well. thank you for considering me.”

Her heart flutters. “Anytime.”

“Does this mean you’re asking me to be your date?”

Olivia purses her lips, and her shoulders bunch. “Maybe. You don’t even have to wear a costume. I’m doing the ‘deadly sins’ thing with Ellinor. You can just wear whatever you want.”

“So that is why you were arguing about Ellinor being Wrath. Hm. You have a point, there.”

Oh, God, if she ever heard you say that. Olivia’s reaction is half smile, half grimace. “Yeah. She’ll warm up to it. I think I might go as Envy. Make things fair so that neither of us win the coveted and almighty Lust mantle.”

“That would be the favored one, between you two.” Cassandra takes Olivia’s hand into hers, so cooly it makes Olivia blush. “I don’t think you’d be Envy though.”

“What? Oh, is this where you call me Sloth?”

“No way,” Cassandra huffs, “I was going to say Pride.”

She echoes her thoughts back when her and Leliana talked on the bench. A second affirmation of her search. Pride? Pride. Alright. She looks out, her head going from side-to-side as she thinks it over.

“Pride. How would I dress as Pride, though?”

Cassandra’s tongue is quicksilver. “Simple, wear what you had on when you came to Rylen’s with Ellinor. You could have been the dictionary image for it.”

“Oh, fuck that! You!” Olivia has urge to do something she hasn’t done in years. And certainly not to anyone she’s been involved with. She shoots her arms out to Cassandra’s sides and begins to tickle her, fingers spindling up and under her arms. It’s a daring move, one you’d think someone like Cassandra would stiffen and admonish. Yet, in a strangely amazing twist of fate, she lurches and begins to laugh. Laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Falling back onto the ground as her knees bend towards the sky, curved and kicking as Olivia rushes up and over her. Laughing,right along with her out of sympathy.

It’s a light she’s never seen, Cassandra losing control like this. And she loves it. She is so stunning.

“Stop it! S-stop!” Cassandra cuts in between laughs, breath escaping quick and shallow. “Y-you! Ahh!”

Olivia gives an Aha! To her tone, Then, it all starts to slow down. Laughs ease. Cassandra’s snuck her arm around Olivia’s waist, holding her close despite having been held captive. Chuckles boil down to snickering, and then recuperating heavy breathing.

“You...you didn’t tell me you were ticklish!”

“I-I,” Cassandra bubbles out the remainder of her glee, “I don’t think that’s something you...you brag about.”

“I think it is!” Olivia argues, chest half on top of hers. “You, ticklish? It’s like the world’s best kept secret.”

“Well, now I have to kill you, so it will stay that way.”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

Cassandra smiles and clings to her, the strength in one arm enough to nearly crack the spot in Olivia’s back that’s been a problem for her since 9th grade. Good to know for future amateur chiropractor needs.

The romantic position they’ve found themselves in sticks, the Siberia soccer field enough of a stowaway place for something considered ‘PDA’ to be acceptable. Olivia is engrossed, her chin resting on her chest. A subtle, lucid breeze combs through the edges her hair.Cassandra’s olive skin basks so well in the sunlight overhead, especially when she’s contented.

“This party,” Cassandra says after a few moments of wordless admiring, “it would be fun?”

“Hmm, Yes. I’d be there, after all.”

“Well, then I suppose it is my kind of fun then.” She agrees, but there’s a touch of carefulness to the end of her sentence. Carefulness from trying despite implicit reluctance. Olivia pauses to examine, but is only met with a well-meaning stoicism.

“You mean it?” she questions, sliding her knee in between Cassandra’s to rest.

“Yeah. If you can handle Rylen and the others, I should be able to handle your crowd.”

Olivia is reminded of Ellinor’s eye-for-an-eye logic, and her brow furrows. “My crowd is...I think you’ll like them. I mean, they’re all just really gay and well-dressed.”

Cassandra holds back a chuckle. “Oh, really?”

“Yeah! You saw! And besides, we can join them. Be gay, and well dressed, and if you’re lucky we can also be gay and well-dressed in taco bell,” she whispers the ‘taco bell’ part like she’s a screaming concert-goer, something that provokes Cassandra into poking her ticklish waist in return. More giggling, more effortless giggling, and it’s all even.

“See! I am the master of persuasion!” Olivia rejoices, still stuck on the feeling of lounging on her. Class where? Campus whomst?

“You have talent, I think you’ll go far in life.” Cassandra rubs up the side of her back, before laying her head into the grass and closing her eyes. Grinning and inhaling, nice and deep. “Alright, a few more minutes, and we have to head back. Or, at least I do.”

“So we do.”

Cassandra opens an eye at her, but Olivia only winks. A last exchange before she lays her head back down on her chest.

Cassandra exhales. “So we do.”

It’s all so good. No dramatic fights, no screaming matches, no salty comments. Just them. It’s so potent, Olivia understands why Ellinor was so moth-drawn-to-flame when her and Cullen started...doing things. This is fucking great. It’s like...nothing can touch her, and everything is as good as it’ll ever get. Which is pretty damn good, by her standards. Not even Leliana’s odd behavior can get her down.

Though, admittedly, as they took the last minutes they could to rest in the sun-baked grass, she wonders. If Cassandra was not all alright, then, what would she ever have to hide? She peers up, tempted to ask straight out. Cassandra has her eyes closed, and she’s so tranquil. Her hand wrapped around her, making her a part of it. Olivia can’t stomach the idea of ruining it.

What goes on inside that head of yours when no one thinks to ask? If you have your reasons, what are they?

She gives up, and lays her cheek back down, and the world washes away for a moment longer. The trees and their enduring leaves sway gently up above in a wind, A moment that screams ‘take your time.’

[crazyunlikeyou]

A bunch of Endgame theories

I know Tumblr is about to have a weird apocalypse but if I’m going down, I want to go down after sharing these.

Okay, so after the Endgame trailer my brain automatically went into theorizing mode. I came up with dozens of ideas, but here are some important ones that seem closer to reality considering all the content and already established connections we have :D

Buckle up because this is going to be a long ride

#1 Our Lord and Savior, Ironman (aka Jesus Tony)

The biggest point about this idea comes from the Last Shawarma (Avengers Last Supper crossover) fan art that came out before Infinity War. With the Russo’s reposting the picture, I couldn’t help but refer to it. This picture clearly shows a Tony/Jesus parallel, as Tony is sitting in the place where Jesus is on the actual painting. This makes me think that, like Jesus, Tony is going to (or at least try to) sacrifice himself for the sake of others. At this point, this theory splits into a few sub categories:

a) Tony will die and come back 

Considering the trailer content we saw, the easiest guess about this idea would be that Tony is going die in space and then be resurrected when Valkyrie and the rest of the asgardians find him. (I honestly believe that they are going to be the people who come to find Tony, dead or alive) After his resurrection, they will head back to Earth and Tony will find a way to bring everyone back. [Tbh, I have great head cannons for this idea. For example, (let’s think back to the Last Shawarama fan art) Peter Parker is paralleled with Thomas the Apostle and like him, Peter may not believe Tony is back alive at first. The little spiderkid might think it is a PTSD induced hallucination and until Tony gives him a soul-crushing hug, he may think he is genuinely going crazy 🙃]

b) Tony will die once and for all but everyone else will be saved

He will literally sacrifice himself to save everyone else, almost like making a trade with the universe for the safety of every living thing. How, you ask? Well, I think it may happen in multiple ways, but here are some favorites:

Tony will use the gauntlet to get everyone else but he himself won’t be able withstand the power of the gauntlet and it will drain him, killing him in the process of saving others.

The avengers will find a way to acquire the infinity stones and Tony will be the Soul Stone’s sacrifice. (this also works with the theory I saw on the internet which is about how the obliterated half of the population is actually stuck in the Soul Stone. In a way, Gamora was the way in and Tony will be the way out)

Tony will make an impromptu machine that will help them see everyone under a time limit and he will use his arc reactor for it, knowingly dooming himself.

c) Tony will die TWICE in the same film

This is basically the merged theory of the first two subcategories. I think Russo’s may even choose to kill Tony twice in the same movie. First death in space all alone, dying helplessly while thinking about the one he loves, and secondly while saving everyone who had turned to ash. Sacrificing himself to ‘lead the innocent towards the light’, if you will :D

#2 Tony and Thanos Parallel

(Diehard Tony fans may like this theory more than the others)I think at this point everyone knows about the similarities between Tony/Thanos and how they parallel each other in many different ways. Because of that, I won’t spend time explaining those similarities. Instead, I will look at their storylines and start predicting their futures based on the similar situations in the other ones’ storyline.

First off, we have Tony who is the head of the Avengers. Now, before you go off on about Team Cap vs. Team Ironman on me, let me clarify that this isn’t to say Tony is the main leader of avengers and everyone else is the sidekick. No, this is based on actual facts about how Tony was introduced before everyone else, because Ironman 1 came out before all other movies. We, as the audience, met Tony before meeting everyone else and the Avengers team was assembled around him later on. In a way, he is the founder of the Avengers. (I can’t help but go back to the Last Supper reference here, with Tony being the leader of a group that is formed of different people who have the same beliefs, which is the safety and protection of Earth in this case) Having this in mind, we can almost say the Avengers (as a concept) is like his child. Avengers, for him, is like his children who aren’t literally his, children who are from different races,  children who are very different from each other but are all fighting on the same side, even if they stay away from the family for some time. Oh, and let’s not forget that the avengers has 6 people.

Sound familiar?

No?

Well then, let me remind you of a certain purple raisin who also has 6 children.

Thanos’s six children (Nebula, Gamora, Proxima Midnight,Ebony Maw, Cull Obsidian, Corvus Glaive) were a group of aliens from different races who fought together, for the rise of a certain idea/belief. In Infinity War, 5 out of those 6 children died. With the parallel, this should mean that 5 out of the 6 avengers should die, leaving only 1 avenger to carry on with life. The Tony/Thanos paralel strikes a second time here, because just like how Thanos is the sole survivor of his race and is very upset about this, one of Tony’s biggest fears is to be the sole survivor while everyone else dies around him, as can be seen from AoU. This parallel points to Tony being the sole survivor of the Avengers, which would also make the scene in AoU a foreshadowing.

#3 Bonus/Extra/Random Theories

These are some theories I have independent from the ones above. (Most of these theories would be eliminated if Theory #2 happens)

The Avengers will use the Time vortex to go back in time, which was mentioned in the after credit scene in Antman and the Wasp. 

Cap is gonna die: 

Chris Evans’ contract was not renewed and rdj gifted him a Captain america themed car, which seems a lot like a parting gift

Going back to the Last Shawarma, Steve is in St James the Great’s place, who is considered the first apostle to be martyred. (Maybe he will be the first one to die out of the original 6)

Clint is gonna survive the Endgame (If the 5/6 thing doesn’t happen obv): Clint has been left out of the loop for too long now, his death would be still upsetting but probably not as devastating as another character (and we all now the Russo’s love to make us cry) But I’m almost 100% sure we will see dark!Clint

We’ll say goodbye to Hulk (again, ignoring theory #2): I don’t know if Bruce will be fully killed off or if somehow Hulk will leave Bruce, letting Bruce live as himself but I think we are at the end of Hulk’s journey

Thor will survive: I think Thor will change a lot, but survive. I don’t think Marvel would kill two kings of Asgard back to back. He may have to leave Earth without any connection or chance to come back, but he'll still be alive.

I have literally no idea what will happen to Natasha, but the only thing I can say about her is that I think she was talking to Antman when she was stating the obvious facts in the trailer. Ant man probably didn’t understand what happened while he was in the quantum realm and came to see Captain with only knowing half of the population was missing.

I might be totally off but I guess we’ll see

(p.s. not edited)

[quicksilversquared]

How to Fake A Marriage Outtakes: Ch 2

So this was a deleted chapter from HTFAM that I discarded in favor of a bit of a time skip and then decided to keep and turn into an outtake. It's set after Adrien and Marinette decide to move in together for the remainder of their time in London.

(AO3) (FF.net)

One of the funniest things about Adrien and Marinette, all of Marinette's team members agreed, was that the two of them were not anywhere as smooth as they thought they were. The two of them hadn't even remotely tried to hide how friendly they were with each other during Marinette's first year, and everyone had seen how their relationship had gradually progressed from a simple close friendship into something more.

And everyone had seen how suddenly, they were working to keep a little distance between them, like they were trying to pretend that they were back to just normal friend status- but when they thought no one was paying attention, they gravitated right back towards each other with little touches and fond looks. It didn't take a genius to figure out that they were dating but for some strange reason, had decided to keep it secret from the world- or, rather, as secret as it could be when speculation about their love life was being published in the tabloids every other month.

None of them asked why. It had become a kind of source of amusement for the group of them, watching as Adrien and Marinette scrambled to act innocent whenever there were other people around. But everyone could see how Marinette lit up at the mention of Adrien and how she was always happy to go home and spend time with him, and how protective Adrien was of Marinette and how eager to please her he was.

Even if they weren't actually living with each other, the two of them acted like newlyweds and not all of the acting in the world could hide it.

Abbey Bernard's lips twitched in amusement as she thought about her most recent visit to Adrien and Marinette. She had mostly wanted to swing by to tease Marinette about the most recent slew of tabloid coverage about her and Adrien- their spa visit hadn't gone unnoticed, and wasn't that the cutest thing ever? Abbey wished that she could find a guy that would treat her as well as Adrien treated Marinette- and Marinette hadn't been over in her apartment. Instead, to the surprise of absolutely no one, she was hanging over at Adrien's apartment across the hall.

And- wasn't it the funniest thing?- it rather looked as though Marinette lived over in Adrien's apartment. Her things were scattered all over, her work ID tossed casually in a bowl on a table near the door next to the apartment keys and Adrien's school ID and bus pass and two sweaters of hers over the back of the couch. The last time that Abbey had seen the inside of Marinette's apartment, it had looked curiously bare.

"Hey, Abbey!" a voice called, and Abbey internally groaned, re-focusing on her work. She had a whole pile of paperwork that she had to get done- most of it having to do with fabric orders- and any interruptions would drag it out that much longer before she could finish and return to actually designing. "I had a question for you!"

"If it's about the editing on the latest photoshoot, I don't have a clue, ask Shannon," Abbey said automatically, and then she glanced up and saw Marinette hanging over her cubicle call. "Oh! Marinette! Hey, what's up?"

"I had a non-work question, but first- uh, could you keep something a secret?" Marinette cringed as soon as the words came out. "That sounds weird, I'm sorry, I mean-"

"If this is about you and Adrien dating, everyone here already knows- or, well, they all suspect, at least," Abbey said, cutting her off and making Marinette's eyes fly wide in surprise. She just internally shook her head. Had Marinette really thought that no one had noticed? Good lord. Well, maybe now they could stop the acting, now that they knew that their secret was out. "You two aren't subtle with the flirting, you know."

I- but-" Marinette spluttered, looking incredibly flustered. "We haven't flirted here-"

"You two never stop flirting." Abbey grinned, shaking her head. Even as sickly sweet as Adrien and Marinette could get at times, it was still cute. "But I'm guessing you didn't just come over to update me on your relationship status after-" she checked her calendar- "what, almost ten months of dating?"

Marinette spluttered even more, looking completely taken off guard. Abbey just waited patiently, knowing that it shouldn't take too long for her to recover. Thankfully Marinette managed to recover, though her cheeks were still a bit pink. Abbey watched as she straightened her shoulders, visibly composing herself before speaking again. "I, uh- well, I was wondering if you were still looking for a new apartment to move to."

Abbey made a face at the question, remembering her latest attempts to get out of her (rather terrible) apartment. It wasn't that the space was a mess or anything- it was just cramped beyond belief, was freezing all the time because it was always in the shade, and it wasn't in a great location, considering where she worked. The only opening that she had been able to find at a slightly better location had gotten snatched up before she could get it, which was actually worse than not being able to find anything at all. "Yeah. I gotta re-sign my lease by the end of the week, though, if I can't find anything. And I haven't been able to find anything. Why?"

"I'm planning on moving," Marinette told her, and Abbey's eyes went wide and hopeful. Marinette was moving? Oh, but that would mean that one of the lovely prefurnished apartments in the Rosalie workers' preferred building would be open! "Into Adrien's apartment, so mine will be open."

"But your lease isn't up until- what, the fall? Isn't that what you said last year?" Abbey's mind raced, trying to figure out how she could make sure that her lease would line up with Marinette's apartment opening. If she went for a month-to-month, maybe-

"I've been cleared to sublease," Marinette said before Abbey could think about it too much, and she immediately perked up. "And subleasers get approached first when the main leaser's contract is up and they aren't renewing."

Abbey was grinning. "Oh, I officially love you," she told Marinette. "Not as much as Adrien does, probably, but- oh my god. I've been trying to get into that building for forever. My current lease is up at the end of the month, but I can extend for a week at a time if needed. When can I move in? And will I need to sanitize every flat surface?" she added impishly, her grin turning wicked.

Marinette snorted. "No, we've kept that to Adrien's apartment- I mean!" she corrected quickly, catching herself just a few seconds too late. Abbey snickered in amusement. "No! We're- we've- that's- I mean to say that that's not a concern and also I'm cleaning before I move out anyway, so there!"

Abbey howled with laughter, cackling at Marinette's red face. It took her a minute to calm down and wipe the tears from her eyes. "Right, right. So, anyway- when will I be able to move in?"

Marinette stepped into the cubicle so one of the senior designers could get by, pushing a rack of clothing. Abbey waved to them sheepishly as they gave her a look. Clearly everyone in their section of the floor had hear her laughter. "We can probably manage at the end of the month. I just have to get a few more things out-"

"-aka you've been living with Adrien for a while, then," Abbey filled in, grinning.

"-and then clean and get the inspection done before you move in. It shouldn't take long. Adrien and I can clean this weekend." She giggled. "I'm sure he'll love that I'm volunteering him."

Abbey grinned at her, excitement starting to properly brew in her chest. "That's so great! I'll have to talk to my landlord, then, and tell him that I'll be moving after all. And then I'll start packing, and maybe move some boxes over? Would I be able to store a few small things in Adrien's apartment until the inspection is done? I mean, I can definitely wait, but if I could just move a few things per day so the final push isn't so hard..."

"I'll ask," Marinette promised. "And then I'll text you tonight to let you know. We could probably store some stuff under the couch or maybe in the hall closet. And I'll try to get the apartment cleaned up soon so I can get the inspection done."

"Wanna go over the details at lunch since we're technically supposed to be working right now?" Abbey suggested. She glanced down at her pile of paperwork a bit ruefully. "I want to know everything about the contract, of course, but I'm also supposed to be reviewing a bunch of paperwork right now."

"Of course!"

  "You really don't have a ton left in here," Adrien commented as they surveyed Marinette's apartment that evening. "I mean, I think a lot of your clothes are over at my apartment anyway, and your blankets and pillows and towels, too, and- I mean, I think your apartment is basically just a sewing room at this point, and it's only even that much because we haven't moved the sewing machine back yet."

Marinette nodded a little sheepishly. "Sewing room and extra kitchen, really. And extra room so that Nino and Alya don't realize that we're living together when they visit."

"I'm so glad that Alya won the competition," Adrien said as he and Marinette headed back to the bedroom to see what she had left there. "Not just because I'm proud of her, of course, but she'll be preparing for her trip and then gone for a good chunk of the year, and all of Nino's trips will be to see her. We'll just have to figure out how to keep them from coming over after Alya gets back in- what, January?"

"I just figured that we would make a lot of trips to Paris under the guise of getting most of our stuff back home before the end of the school year," Marinette offered. She checked the first drawer, then reached in to pull out a pile of socks and underwear that she then promptly deposited in Adrien's arms. "And if I find any jobs to apply for, then I would go back for tours or interviews. Hopefully that would be enough visits for them."

"Hopefully," Adrien agreed. He had to think that their trips to Paris would be enough. Nino would be wanting to save money for his trips to see Alya, so if they just resolved to visit Paris several times a semester- which was more than what they had been doing- then maybe they could get away with living in the same apartment. They could maybe schedule more Skype calls as well, so that they could talk... well, not face-to-face, exactly, but as close to face-to-face as they could. "It's funny- like, I want to see Alya and Nino in person, of course, yet I don't want them to visit. That sounds so bad."

Marinette laughed.

It didn't take long for them to clear out the bedroom, even with Marinette's rather extensive wardrobe, though it took longer to puzzle out where they could store things in Adrien's apartment. The rest of the apartment took a similarly short time to clear out, even the living room. Marinette had apparently spent a couple evenings cleaning up and packing away the scraps and leftover fabric into bags before she went back to Paris, so it was no big hassle to move all of the sewing things back to their normal spot in Adrien's apartment.

By the end of the evening, Marinette's apartment was sitting empty and was ready to be cleaned- especially the living room, which had bits of fabric fibers everywhere thanks to all of the cut fabric from the commissions, and the bathroom which, despite their best efforts at the time, had some of the screen-printing chemical residue still smeared on the floor and in the tub.

"That wasn't that bad," Adrien commented as Marinette locked her apartment for the night and they headed back across the hall to their apartment. "But it's going to be harder to move out of our apartment once we're done in London," he added, making a bit of a face. "We'll have tons of stuff to carry back and we'll be cleaning and still living there at the same time."

Marinette made a face. "Oh, don't think about that now," she said. She kicked off her shoes at the door and tossed her keys on the table while Adrien locked the door. "I know we'll have to bring stuff back gradually, like most of our summer things going back to Paris at the end of summer and most of our fall things going back at Christmas, but it's still going to be so much."

Adrien couldn't help but laugh. "Funny, you say that we shouldn't think about it, and then you start talking about what we should do to get ready to go back."

Marinette just stuck out her tongue.

The next evening, they started the cleaning. Adrien attacked the bedroom and the living room with a vacuum while Marinette took on the bathroom. It wasn't fun work, especially when Adrien had to pause in his vacuuming to unwind a ribbon that had gotten overlooked and sucked into the vacuum and was very much stuck, but since Marinette had kept the apartment in such good condition for so long, it didn't need a deep cleaning. The kitchen just needed a quick wipe-up, a thorough scrub of the fridge, and a check to make sure none of the cooking things or silverware had migrated across the hall before it could get crossed off of the list of things to do, and the hall closet just needed a quick dust.

"Marinette, can you come help me move the couch so I can clean behind it?" Adrien called, flipping the vacuum off for a moment. "After those are done, the bedroom, the hallway, and the living room will all be finished."

Marinette came trotting out, wiping her hands on a towel. She was grinning. "Really? That's great!"

"And then I'll finish up the closet and work on the kitchen," Adrien told her as they moved the couch and the armchair away from the wall. He flipped the vacuum back on and quickly cleaned the newly exposed carpet. "It helps that most of the apartment hasn't really been used much for a while. There's not a bunch of grit and grime built up. Everything is just a quick clean, really."

"Says the guy who isn't cleaning the bathroom," Marinette said. She waited until the vacuum was off again and in the corner before grabbing her end of the couch so they could move it back up against the wall. "I've gotten most everything off, but there's a few stubborn spots, and I need to clean out the drain."

"Fun, fun."

"Not even remotely. I'm almost tempted to transform into Ladybug so I can have super-strength for the scrubbing. It might go a little faster that way."

Adrien couldn't help the snicker that slipped out. It was just a funny mental image, thinking about Ladybug super-cleaning a bathtub. "Somehow I don't think Tikki would be happy about that."

Marinette's lips twitched upwards in a small smile. "No, probably not."

Despite Marinette's grumbling, it didn't take long at all to get the rest of the cleaning done. Marinette went over the entire apartment again, making sure that that the windows were fully closed, nothing had been left out on the balcony, the adjustable dimmer light over the table was fully off, and all of the chairs were pushed into the table straight. Once that was done, Marinette joined Adrien at the door.

"I thought it would feel weird to be pretty much officially moved out of here, but it doesn't, not at all," Marinette told Adrien. "It feels more like well, at last."

"Well, you haven't exactly been living there for a while," Adrien pointed out, holding the door so Marinette could leave. "It'll probably be weird to move out of our apartment next year, though." He paused when Marinette didn't leave the apartment, eyes still scanning the room. His voice softened. "Marinette?"

She startled, as though she hadn't realized that she had checked out for a moment, and then reached over and took his hand, smiling up at him as she did. "I'm fine. I'm just really tired from all of the cleaning today and I just zoned out for a second."

He scanned her expression. She looked exhausted, almost like she was going to fall asleep standing up. Hopefully she could make it through the shower before falling asleep. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Let's go home."

[crosbytoews]

hockey rpf fic rec

this is an assortment of all the hockey rpf i have bookmarked. it is organized by pairing. if any of this is not your thing that’s valid but i don’t wanna hear it 

these fics are posted on ao3 and most of them are locked so you will need an ao3 account to access them!

obviously i like everything on here but i bolded the urls of my absolute faves

JAMIE BENN/TYLER SEGUIN

Look at the wonderful mess that we made by sherlockelly

A name-on-wrist soulmate AU where being outed by a same-sex name is still newsworthy if you're in professional sports and is a very real concern for some NHL players. Despite the shifting attitudes, no one in the sport has ever come out publicly.

Tyler has always felt relieved that 'Jamie' could be a male or female name, it makes hiding his sexuality a lot easier. Jamie's not been so lucky.

Door to Door by Ferritin4

"Hey," Jamie says, pounding on the door. "Hey, open up!"

The dogs shut up.

"Hi, shit, sorry," says the stupidly fucking gorgeous man who opens the door in a tank top and boxers. "Shit, were the dogs loud? They get really excited when I come home."

"It’s three in the morning," Jamie says. On cue, a dog pokes its head around the corner to the entryway and bounces over to the — to this guy. It’s followed by another, browner dog, and Jamie has a moment of surrealist sleep-deprived horror where he imagines an infinite string of dogs forever bounding gleefully towards —

"I work two jobs. I’m Tyler," Tyler says, extending his hand. "Do you want to come in?"

Well, he’s not doing anything illegal, Jamie thinks, shaking it, because no criminal in the history of crime has ever willingly invited a cop into their house, and there is no one in the city of Dallas who hasn’t pegged Jamie as a cop within six seconds of meeting him.

Stating the Obvious by StormDancer

In which Tyler transfers to Dallas, makes some friends, and has emotions, none of which he's prepared to deal with.

Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin

King and Lionheart by thehoyden

Sidney’s wedding day doesn’t go quite as he’d planned. When he’d bothered to imagine it at all, he’d thought of a nice June wedding in Nova Scotia, outdoors with the sun streaming down. He hadn’t imagined this hurried affair on the tarmac on a rainy and unseasonably cool day in early September, a month after his twenty-fifth birthday.

And Never Been Kissed by thehoyden

Sid didn’t introduce himself in the hallway, and he certainly doesn’t assume that people know who he is. So it would only be polite to thank Malkin again, this time more personally.

He could write him a letter. An email? No, a letter.

There Was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe by Shoshanah-ben-hohim

Amidst rising political tensions between Russia and NATO countries, the KHL and NHL failed to renew their labor agreement this summer. Due to the failed agreement and intense political pressure at home, the Russian NHL players do not return to the NHL.

By March, Geno has played almost a season in Russia, and accepts this is his new reality, no matter how much he misses Sid – until he finds the first child. This sets him and everyone he involves down a dangerous path of international intrigue.

Auston Matthews/Mitch Marner

as long as it's about me by Anonymous 

It takes about the length of their first practice for Toronto media to decide that him and Mitch are best friends. And, like, Auston’s been warned about the press in the city a million times, so he gets it. They want a story. He’d be fine with it, honestly, except for the small issue that Mitch Marner is the most annoying person on the entire planet.

I Never Thought He Wouldn't by MycroftexMachina

Mitch loves people. And usually people love him back. Usually.

we've got each other (and that's a lot) by LottieAnna

“I’m gonna be a groomsman,” Mitch says, then flops dramatically into the chair across from Auston, grabs Auston’s glass of whiskey, and takes a long sip. It burns as it goes down, and he makes a face. “Again.”

JONATHAN TOEWS/PATRICK KANE

don't taze me, bro by staraflur

He doesn’t think Zeus is supposed to have a sword, but their Zeus does. So now Jonny does, because of course he’s in charge. He looks, Patrick is drunk enough to acknowledge, far better than anyone has a right to in a grody old Halloween costume that’s probably soaked up the butt sweat of dozens, if not hundreds, of Theta-presidents past. Jonny wears it, Patrick gets the sword. Win-win.

AKA that time there was a frat AU (of course).

Same Time, Same Place by brutti_ma_buoni

It should be a one-off, an awkward airport first meeting that goes nowhere. But this one goes somewhere. Back to Jonny's, for a start.

It shouldn't go any further, a one-nighter with no strings, and plenty of reasons for Patrick not to go back there. But Patrick won't let it go.

It should be a disaster, a mismatch, a scandal, a shoddy secret regret. But... maybe not?

bring it if you really want it by staraflur

It starts like this:

Well, okay, Patrick has no idea how it actually starts. But as pertains to him (in other words, the important part), it goes a little something like so:

America, being a nation composed in large part of a melting pot of immigrants who may or may not have taken over land already owned by others using less-than-savory means, doesn’t have much of a magical national identity. Much less a magical continental identity. There’s no grand heritage going back thousands of years. Magical families home-schooled all their kids until, like, the 1800’s, and tough for the muggle-born, apparently. Hopefully you got noticed by someone who knew what to do with you before you got burned at the stake. Since you probably can’t control your powers, sport.

Call Me Royal Blue by cupstealer 

He’s always gotten his kicks giving Jonny shit, but never like this. He feels like the first person to combine ice cream and soda—A) in that he has combined two amazing things to make a more amazing thing, and B) in that Jonny is not having it.

Patrick and Jonny haven't been close friends in six years. Nothing a little friendly competition can't fix.

Random Pairings 

Jeff Skinner/Eric Staal

If Heaven’s Hypothetical by impertinence and shoemaster 

Jeff runs away from Toronto and finds himself homeless in Raleigh, where he accidentally starts serving eggs to Eric Staal.

Andrew Ladd/Ryan Kesler

Nothing Worth Knowing by beatperfume and shoemaster

Ryan Kesler hates Andrew Ladd on sight. College AU.

Erik Johnson/Gabriel Landeskog 

A Month of Sundays by Kelfin

Unlike some guys, who freak out when things get even a little bit gay, Erik is fine with this stuff. Erik's not even fazed when Gabe's attempts at flirting with him start to get semi-public, a fact that, by his own judgment, makes him at least five to seven times more tolerant than your average forward-thinking American.

Sidney Crosby/Claude Giroux 

The Battle of Pennsylvania by Robinjay

When they play at Worlds together, Claude Giroux firmly expects a fight to break out. At the very least, he expects derogatory remarks and barely contained fury. Instead of doing any of those things, Sidney Crosby just stares and Claude Giroux loses his damn mind.

In Hours Uncounted by remiges

Claude's grandparents take him to get his first name when he's ten—younger than most people start, but older than his grandparents when they'd had theirs done. His grandmother's skin is threaded red and gold with names, and Claude wants that, wants that sort of history for his own.

Sidney Crosby/Tyler Seguin

All New Kinds of Weather by concinnity and Pennyplainknits

Sidney Crosby, Tyler realizes, has just asked him about hooking up. Sidney fucking Crosby. Tyler blinks at Sid and takes a long drink of water. He has possibly never been as grateful for his slutty reputation as he is in this moment. Because, out of a whole room at least 30% of which would happily give Sid what he’d just, hesitantly, asked for, Sid chose him.

Also there are pancakes.

Alex Galchenyuk/Brendan Gallagher 

ain't never had a love like mine by bluejayys

Anna installs Grindr on his phone while he drives them back to his place, snickering as she fills out his profile.

“In your About Me section I said that you enjoy hockey, can speak three languages, and have been commended by fans for your excellent stick handling,” she says gleefully. Alex wonders when this became his life.

Brent Seabrook/Duncan Keith

Summerboys by stlkrchck

Brent Seabrook has no interest in working at Camp Quaquanantuck the summer before university. Unfortunately, his mom's signed him up, and he has to go. But between a cabin full of campers obsessed with Lady Gaga, a prank war with two other cabins, and his co-counselor Duncan Keith, Brent might just find himself enjoying the summer after all.

Tyson Barrie/Gabriel Landeskog 

Left-Handed Kisses by oflights

The one where Tyson's fooling around with Gabe, already way out of his league, and then finds out he's apparently fooling around with a prince. And he might be a little bit in love with him. It's pretty brutal.

[askullinajar]

A Merry Little Christmas

Fic info:

This is set in the same universe as The Living Ghost and The Shattered Frame, so go read them or this won’t make sense.

Rating: Teen and up. Pairings: Lucy/Lockwood, Holly/Rani, Quill/OC, others if you squint. Word count: 9720. Ao3 link: here.

The gang all get together for Christmas Eve, 10 years on.

A Merry Little Christmas

“… its thin lips seemed to smile at me as we descended into the dark.”

I closed the book – the final instalment of my account of Lockwood & Co.’s greatest adventure – and was met with loud applause. The first chapter had been received well, it seemed, and I felt my chest fill with warmth and pride, overriding the sickly anxiety that was trying to creep up on me as I stood before the room full of people. Phone cameras flashed as admirers rushed to take my picture. I still marvelled at how far and fast technology had advanced since the Problem had begun to die down.

“Does anybody have any questions before we call it a night?” I announced into the microphone atop the lectern.

Hands immediately shot up.

“Are Marissa and Penelope really the same person?” a girl, who looked to be in her early twenties, asked, excitedly. “Did she reverse her age somehow?”

I smiled knowingly. “You’ll have to read the book to find out.”

She lowered her hand a little disappointedly. I picked on the next person.

“Did you ever find out what the fetch was?” a man asked.

“Ah,” I said. “Unfortunately, not; its Source was destroyed with all the others before we could investigate.”

A woman from the back shouted, “Did you ever let the skull out? Is he still around?”

I glanced back to where Skully was slouched in a chair, fidgeting with a Rubix Cube I’d given him to keep him occupied, though, to my dismay, he seemed almost done. I’d brought him with me because my manager (AKA Holly) had told me I might need a bodyguard, what with my increasing success as an author, and Skully was the most formidable person I knew, even if he didn’t look like much. But no one could know who he really was; we couldn’t have the general public getting ideas about bringing back the dead. I didn’t exactly want another Problem on our hands.

“I still see him from time to time,” I said, vaguely.

A girl of about twelve was sat beside her father in the front row, hopping in her seat and waving her hand in the air excitedly.

I gave her a smile. “Yes?”

“Did you and Lockwood ever get together?”

I flushed. “That’s – uh – not really relev–”

“Aw, look at you!”

Must to my dismay, Skully had finished the puzzle and had grown bored. So, of course, he was back to his favourite activity of annoying me.

“Married for five years and you still can’t think of him without blushing!”

I tried to shove him away from the microphone and failed. Damn his supernatural strength.

“It was a beautiful ceremony,” Skully informed the girl who was practically shaking in her seat with delight. “I gave her away–”

“You also shoved the best man into the cake,” I grumbled.

“–Barnes officiated–”

“George couldn’t return that suit.”

“–the food was wonderful–”

“I didn’t have wedding cake at my own wedding.”

“Oh, when are you going to get over that?”

“When you pay for the damn cake!”

There was a cough from the audience and I realised we were squabbling like school-children in front of two hundred people. I may have cut my hair down to a pixie cut, and Skully may have grown his out a little and added tattoos and piercings and, recently, stubble, but I guess some things never change. Not even after ten years.

I cleared my throat. “Right, well, I think that’s enough questions for one day. I’m sure you all want to get back to your families. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!”

There was another round of applause, accompanied by some confused expressions, before the crowd began to gather their belongings and got up to leave.

Skully and I headed out the backdoor to avoid the soon-to-be crowded foyer of the Anthony Lockwood Gallery, past the exhibits of case files and ex-Sources, their glass cases now decked in tinsel and fairy lights.

“Wait in the car for me, I need to pee,” Skully requested.

“Thanks for sharing.”

“Not my fault you waffle on so much,” he said. “I mean, do we really need so much info on how ‘dazzling’ A.J.’s smile is? Or how pretty and perfect Holly is? Side-note: you definitely had a crush on her.”

I flushed. “Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Oh, shut up,” I told him. “Go and do your business, I’ll warm up the car.”

I switched on the heating and the radio once I got back to the car, flicking through the stations absently. Then I gave up and switched it off, leaning my forehead against the steering wheel.

Here, alone in the car with nothing but my own thoughts, I felt all the thick, sickening anxiety I’d bottled up during the event bubbling back up to the surface.

I reminded myself that the people in that room had been living and breathing, though their whispering among themselves as I read had gotten my heart racing, wary of Visitors, even after so many years. The din of their conversation as I’d first entered the room had been reminiscent of the hum of a Spirit Gate. But it didn’t make my head scream in pain. It wasn’t the same. That’s what I kept telling myself.

Outside, children bounced along in front of their parents, gushing about my stories and the place London had once been. They were lucky they never had to experience it. Lucky they were allowed to just be children. They could go to school, join clubs, make friends and visit each other’s houses like normal kids could. They didn’t have to worry that they might never see those friends again. That any day could be their last.

I watched as they flopped down in the snow to make snow-angels, or gleefully tossed snowballs at one another, giggling and squealing. It was beginning to get dark, but no one raced to get home. They didn’t need to; without the Orpheus Society continuously stirring up the Other Side, Visitors had started appearing less and less. They barely showed up at all now. Nothing to worry about. I’d had a hand in that.

I felt my breathing even out.

“Want me to drive?”

Skully had returned and had one arm leaning on the roof of the car as he peered at me through the open passenger door.

I scoffed. “Thanks, but I’d rather not die.”

“I can drive!” Skully protested.

“You drive a motorcycle. You cannot apply the same rules to a car.”

Skully huffed but slipped into the passenger seat. I don’t think he missed me hurriedly wiping my eyes on my sleeve. He was silent for a moment as I started the car, then, “I’m proud of you, you know.”

I glanced across at him. “What?”

“You heard,” he said, turning towards the window to avoid eye contact.

“Yeah, but can I get it in writing or something?”

“Shut up.”

I couldn’t help but smile. He didn’t show affection openly very often, so when he did it was always a special moment for me. I’d let it slide for now, though.

I gave his cheek a prod. “What’s this?”

“What’s what?”

“The beard,” I clarified. “Why are you growing a beard?”

“Oh, you know,” he said, casually, “I figured, if I start now, I can have a Dumbledore-level beard by the time I’m eighty.”

“Couldn’t be bothered to shave?”

“Yep. Though now I’ve said the Dumbledore idea, I’m kinda digging it.”

I rolled my eyes and turned the radio back on, tuning in to some Michael Bublé, coz why not? It was Christmas, after all.

Truthfully, Skully’s new beard looked to me less like an ‘I couldn’t be bothered to shave this morning’ beard and more of an ‘I haven’t had the energy to get out of bed for three days, let alone shave’ beard, going off what my husband was like. I didn’t mention it, as he hated it when I did, but I did make a mental note to check how much of his meds he had left. I didn’t want a repeat of the incident a few years back when he’d forgotten to renew his prescription.

“You’re still staying over tonight, right?” I said.

“Are your sister and her gremlins still there?”

“Mary and her children?” I said. “Yes. And they want to meet you.”

“Wasn’t she at the wedding?”

“You’re thinking of my other sisters,” I told him. “Mary went into labour and couldn’t be there.”

Skully groaned. “Do I have to?”

“Christmas is for family,” I said. “The family you actually like, at least. Unless you’d rather stay in your flat alone?”

“I like my flat,” he protested. “It has a great vantage point for pouring custard on carol singers.”

“We have presents for you.”

He paused. “Okay, I guess I’ll come.”

I nodded. “And is Charlie coming for the party tonight?”

Charlie was Skully’s twenty-four-year-old flatmate, and the human embodiment of a ray of sunshine, if a little lax on the social skills. By all rights, Skully and Charlie should not have gotten along, and I didn’t know the full story of their friendship, though they’d apparently disliked each other when they’d first met in the forensics lab where they worked. Nowadays, though, they were practically inseparable. Something about it being ‘nice to have someone to hang around with when all your gross allosexual friends insist on doing couple things’.

Skully shrugged. “I’ll ask again when we get to my place.”

I pulled the car up outside his block of flats a few minutes later.

“Ah,” he said, patting his pockets as we stepped out onto the curb, “forgot my keys.”

“You are a mess of a person,” I told him, pressing the buzzer for his flat.

“Yeah, they ain’t gonna answer that,” he said. “But, no worries.” He whipped out his phone and shot a quick text to Charlie.

After a good two minutes of standing out in the cold waiting for a reply, he gave up and called them instead. The call ended abruptly as it was apparently rejected on the other end. Then a text came through: Why are you calling me?

“There we go,” said Skully, texting back a quick reply, and a few seconds later, the intercom buzzed to let us in.

Charlie was standing in the doorway when we got upstairs, donned in pastel green dungarees and miss-matched socks, the light from the hallway behind them making their bronze curls glow gold. They narrowed their sky-blue eyes at Skully. “I don’t like phone calls.”

“Made ya look at your phone, though,” he replied.

“Mean,” said Charlie as he slipped past them and down the hall to get ready to go. “Hello, Lucy.”

“Hi, Charlie,” I said, slipping into the flat and shutting the door behind me. The flat was a cluttered mess of overflowing bookshelves and video game boxes littering the floor, but at least there didn’t seem to be any dirty dishes lying around. “Coming to the party tonight?”

“Party,” Charlie repeated, wrinkling their nose.

“A small party,” I clarified. “Just close friends of mine. Mostly people you know.”

They hummed. “My brother’s picking me up at ten.”

“Working late?” I said.

“He’ll be done in the flower shop by now, but then he’s volunteering at the soup kitchen,” Charlie replied.

“Can you get him to pick you up from my house?” I said. “Don’t want to be here alone until then, do you?”

“I can look after myself,” Charlie said as if this was something they had to clarify a lot.

“I didn’t mean–”

“Don’t leave me alone with the couples!” Skully called before coming out of the bathroom, now cleanly shaven. “I’ll let you follow me around the whole time, or just hide in the library.”

Charlie just hummed again.

“And they have pets,” Skully finished.

“’kay, I’ll come,” said Charlie.

“Did you get your things?” I asked Skully. He swore and ran back down the hall.

I gave Charlie the address and they sent a text to their brother, before retrieving an already-packed backpack.

“Got everything?” I asked.

That was probably the wrong thing to say because Charlie immediately plonked down on the floor and began unpacking the bag to make sure.

Skully came back out of his room.

“Remember Anthony wants us all wearing Christmas jumpers?” I said.

He groaned loudly and turned back.

“I don’t have a Christmas jumper,” said Charlie.

“Borrow one of mine,” Skully called from his room. “A.J. keeps buying them for me.”

He came back into the hall, now wearing one of the least garish jumpers Lockwood had given him over the years, one with the words ‘Now I have a machine gun. Ho-ho-ho’ scrawled across it, and tugged a fleecy jumper decorated with robins over Charlie’s head, who squeaked in surprise.

“Soft,” they said, once their arms were through the overly long sleeves.

“Keys?” I asked Skully.

He ran back to his room.

On the floor, Charlie stared at their laptop for a good minute before putting it in their bag, as if trying to convince themself it would still be there even once the bag was closed.

“How do you two ever get anything done?” I remarked.

“Hyperfocus,” said Charlie, simply. I decided not to tell them it had been a rhetorical question.

Skully returned, this time with everything he actually needed. I flicked the lights off on our way out, then Charlie flicked them back on and off again, then again with their other hand, for symmetry, I guess. Skully let them lock the door, and then we were off.

The car journey to Portland Row was mostly filled with Skully and I belting out Mariah Carey and Slade while Charlie happily hummed along and swayed in time to the music in the back, staring out the window at all the beautiful displays of Christmas lights adorning the houses and shops we passed. We weren’t half bad if I do say so myself.

Portland Row was only a ten-minute drive from Skully’s flat, and the front door opened as we stepped out of the car.

“Dog!” Charlie half-shrieked as a golden blur shot down the garden path and nearly knocked me over.

“Calm down, Apollo. I’ve not been gone that long!” I laughed, giving him a scratch behind his floppy ears before he bounded over to Charlie and Skully to beg for tummy rubs.

“Auntie Lucy! Auntie Lucy!”

I looked up as my little niece, Sophie, hurtled towards me in a pretty pink princess dress that was mostly covered in flour.

“What’s gotten you so mucky?”  I said.

“We’ve been making gingerbread with mummy and uncle Tony!” she informed me, proudly.

“Ooh! I can’t wait to try it!” I gushed, picking her up and propping her on my hip to walk up to the house, where Lockwood was waiting in the doorway with my two-year-old nephew, Michael, sat on his shoulders, also in a princess dress. He did like to copy his sister a lot.

“Hello, my love,” Lockwood greeted, bending down a little to give me a peck on the lips, then a little further so I could kiss Michael on the forehead. “How’d the reading go?”

“Pretty well,” I replied. “Managed to keep Skully from interrupting for most of it.”

“Most of it?” Lockwood repeated with an amused smile. I rolled my eyes in reply.

“Down,” Michael said, patting Lockwood’s mop of hair. He complied and set him down on the carpet, and he promptly waddled down the hall and into the living room. I set Sophie down, too, so she could go after him.

Mary appeared from the kitchen a moment later, drying off her hands on her apron. “There you are, Luce. Keep an eye on the kids a sec, I wanna get changed before your party guests arrive.”

“Two are already here,” I said, nodding outside to where Charlie currently had their face buried in Apollo’s fur, and Skully was trying to drag them into the house. “Anthony’s uncle and his flatmate.”

Mary hopped over and stood on her tiptoes to peer over my shoulder.

“Oh my god, Luce! You didn’t tell me he was gorgeous!”

“Don’t you dare,” I told her, but she was already rushing upstairs to get changed.

“Remind me to keep her away from the mistletoe,” I muttered to Lockwood, who was snickering behind his hand.

Apollo bounded back into the house a moment later, followed by Skully who was carrying Charlie in front of him, his hands hooked under their elbows.

“Hi, Charlie,” said Lockwood, as Skully set them down and shut the front door. “Haven’t seen you since the Cambridge Cannibal case.”

“A cannibal?!” Sophie exclaimed, peering out of the open living room doorway.

“I still say he was a zombie,” said Charlie, clearly excited about the conversation topic. “He only ate the brains, see? He boiled them up in acetic acid, so they’d stay intact and–”

“Let’s not give the children nightmares,” I interrupted. Not that it was the most disturbing case my friends had worked on.

Since his Talent had faded and the Problem had decreased, Lockwood had gone through a bit of a crisis and had ended up achieving many feats before he finally decided what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. He had opened up a fencing academy, which he had run himself while I had attended art school, before handing over the reins to Quill. Then we had travelled the world together, starting where his parents had left off. That had been fun while it lasted, but, after the incident, we were a little wary to leave London for too long. Maybe we would again, one day.

Now, Lockwood helped out with detective investigations from time to time, partnering up with Detective Inspector Rani Malik-Munro, under the supervision of Chief Constable Barnes, to solve gruesome murders, with the help of their friends in the forensics department.

The oven timer beeped in the kitchen and Lockwood rushed off to get the gingerbread out of the oven.

“Watch the kids,” I told Skully, following after him.

The ‘gingerbread’ that Lockwood set on the counter looked very… flat. And it had a strange smell, which was making me feel kind of queasy.

“So, how much input did you have with these?” I asked, peering over his shoulder at the demonic biscuits. “Just… out of curiosity.”

“I did most of it while Mary was handling the kids,” said Lockwood. “Do they really look that bad?”

Charlie approached and gave them a sniff. “You used salt instead of baking powder.”

“How would you even know that?” said Lockwood. “Besides, they’re basically the same thing, right?”

“And paprika instead of ginger.”

“Right,” I said. “How about we just let the kids decorate them and then never eat them ever?”

Lockwood made a pouty face.

“Aw, don’t sulk,” I said, ruffling his hair. “I’ll make them with you, next time.”

Skully came into the kitchen with a giggling child dangling upside down in each hand and Apollo at his heals. “A.J. ruin the cookies?”

“Jesus Christ, Jim. Put them down,” I scolded.

“Just keeping them out of trouble,” he said, setting them in a heap on the floor. They immediately scrambled to their feet and tried to run off, but Skully shut the kitchen door just in time. “When’s dinner? I’m starving.”

“When everyone’s actually here,” I told him. “I should probably start getting it ready.”

“Did you remember to eat today?” Lockwood asked him.

Skully seemed to think about it for a minute. “I had a can of coke this morning.”

Lockwood pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Hey!” Skully defended. “I’m probably still doing better than Charlie.”

“I had the chocolate from my advent calendar,” said Charlie. “That’s actually food.”

“Damn,” said Skully.

“Who thought it was a good idea for you two to live together?” said Lockwood.

“We just get distracted,” said Charlie.

“By video games?” I guessed.

“The universe’s greatest creation,” said Skully.

I heard the stairs creaking, signalling Mary’s return.

“Now remember,” I said in a hushed voice, so the children wouldn’t be able to overhear. “I haven’t told her about the whole Skully being brought back to life thing, so no one mention it. She’s terrible at keeping secrets.”

“Understood,” said Skully.

Mary entered the kitchen a moment later, looking very pretty with festive-red lipstick and her blonde hair elegantly curled.

“Sorry about running off,” she said. “Didn’t want to introduce myself covered in washing-up water.” She held a hand out to Charlie, who was closer. “I’m Mary!”

“Charlie,” said Charlie. “I don’t like shaking hands.”

“That’s fair enough,” said Mary, lowering her hand. “Do you have preferred pronouns, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Any,” said Charlie.

“I’ll stick with ‘them’, in that case.” Charlie smiled and nodded, and Mary turned to Skully. “And you must be… Jim? James?”

“Skully,” said Skully.

Mary twirled a finger through a golden ringlet. “Why do they call you that?”

“I was dead for a hundred and forty years.”

I elbowed him in the ribs. “Ha-ha! That’s just him trying to be funny!” I said as Mary gave me a confused look. “We call him that coz… uhh…” I looked towards Charlie and Lockwood for help.

“He works in a morgue,” Charlie supplied, which, while it made sense, was a little more morbid than I was hoping for.

“…Right,” said Mary.

“Why don’t you help me get dinner ready?” I said, changing the subject. “I’m sure this lot can handle the kids for a bit.”

“Oh, anything to get away from these little monsters,” Mary said, sticking her tongue out at the children, who giggled and ran off, dragging Lockwood and Skully with them, with Charlie and Apollo following behind.

Mary and I set about preparing a beef Wellington, chatting idly as we did so. It was almost as if we were back home again, preparing dinner with our other siblings while our mother sat watching TV.

“Anyone spending Christmas with mum this year?” I asked, casually.

“Not that I know of,” Mary replied. “Think she finally blew it when she exploded at Sam for coming out. And after all that tripe about wanting a son.”

“Maybe I should tell her I’m bi, just to add the icing on the cake,” I said.

Mary laughed. “Do it. She’d implode, it’d be hilarious. Ever gonna introduce her to these guys, by the way?”

I snorted. “Oh, hell no. Because, and I am not exaggerating when I say this, Skully would literally kill her. And Anthony would probably help.”

“You told them about her?”

“Of course I told them,” I said. “Anthony’s my husband. And Skully… well… he understands about that sort of thing.”

Mary nodded in understanding.

I popped the Wellington in the oven, and was just about to set the oven timer, when the doorbell rang, signalling the arrival of our first guests. I opened the door to find Holly and Rani, both looking stunning with Holly in a pine-green dress and Rani wearing a matching hijab. Rani and her family didn’t celebrate Christmas, but she still tagged along to parties and such with Holly. Mostly for the free food.

Lockwood appeared in the hallway after hearing us happily greet each other. He pouted at Holly. “You’re not wearing a Christmas jumper.”

“I’m not putting on one of those hideous things,” said Holly.

“This isn’t hideous!” Lockwood cried, gesturing to the demonic looking reindeer knitted into his jumper. Holly exchanged a look with me that clearly said ‘how do you put up with him?’

George and Flo were the next to arrive. George had not changed much at all over the years, though he and Skully got on a little better. He now worked at the local university, giving lectures on the science and history behind the Problem and Visitors, and putting his students to good use experimenting on Sources that still retained some psychic charge. He was the type of professor who turned up to lectures late, put memes in his presentations, and replied to carefully thought out, grammatically correct emails from students with ‘k’.

Flo, however, was much cleaner than her days spent as a relic-woman. Her long hair was still an unbrushed mess, and she still sported a lot of dirt beneath her nails, but that was a result of excavating historical artefacts rather than digging through river sludge. There wasn’t much money in being a relic-woman nowadays, anyway. And at least her new job was legal.

Quill showed up next, having come straight from a Fittes reunion party. He informed us that his old teammates were doing quite well for themselves; Bobby was well on his way to getting a PhD, and Kat was teaching kids at a nearby primary school.

Barnes and George’s mum showed up at the same time, quite by coincidence.

“You’re looking rather dashing today, Monty.”

“You’re looking quite lovely yourself, Martha.”

“I’m gonna throw up,” George mumbled, and Holly smacked him lightly on the arm.

We all crowded into the living room. Charlie, a little overwhelmed by all the people, sat themself in a corner beside the Christmas tree, and Apollo draped himself across their lap. Skully sat half in front of them, like a sort of shield, and the rest of us squeezed onto the chairs and sofas. Michael curled up into Mary’s side, having gone all shy in the presence of new people, and Sophie rushed about showing everyone all the drawings she had done that day before she finally settled down and crawled onto Skully’s lap. She had become rather taken with him.

“So, what’s everyone been up to?” Lockwood said, passing around tea and biscuits that he hadn’t made himself. I accepted the tea but declined the biscuits; I was still feeling a little queasy. “I feel like it’s been forever since we’ve all been together.”

“Why don’t you tell everyone about Lucas, Quill,” said Rani, slyly, sipping her tea.

Quill’s face and ears turned bright red, but he shrugged and sipped his tea, idly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Ooh, who’s Lucas?” said Mary, eagerly. She was always one for gossip.

“Nobody,” said Quill.

“Just some super gorgeous guy who goes to all of his classes,” said Holly, grinning mischievously.

“Shut up,” said Quill, avoiding eye contact with all of us.

“Wait,” said Flo, pausing in the middle of piling sugar into her tea. “Dark hair? Tattoos? Looks kinda like he belongs in Asgard?”

“Sounds like him,” said Rani. “From all the very detailed descriptions Quill’s been giving us.”

“Shut up,” Quill said again.

“Do you know him?” George said eagerly, ignoring Quill.

“When I filled in for Quill the other week,” said Flo. “He was very disappointed when he saw me instead of him. No one else seemed to mind much.”

“He was?” said Quill, sitting up and seeming very much interested all of a sudden. “What did he say?”

Flo smirked. “Buy me some of that posh strawberry liquorice and I’ll tell you.”

“You are the worst,” said Quill.

“Just tell the boy how you feel, dear,” Mrs Cubbins advised. “Life’s too short to keep beating around the bush, take it from me. I wish I’d had more time with George’s father.”

“Or,” said Skully, “you could try giving him your dead relatives necklaces until he gets the hint.”

“Hey!” Lockwood protested. “That worked out in the end, didn’t it?”

“It wasn’t exactly the most straight-forward way,” I reasoned. “I mean, the first time, you told me to shut my mouth and then ran off.”

“Smooth move, A.J.,” said Skully.

“I was nervous!” Lockwood cried.

I can’t remember what we talked about after that. Just life, I guess. George kept throwing in puns, and I kept whacking him with cushions. When you’ve known someone for a long time, when you get along really well, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been apart. We all had different lives to live, and it was hard to see each other sometimes, but it didn’t matter in the end. Because, when you know someone that well, you can pick up exactly where you left off. Conversation and laughter flows. There are no awkward silences, no feeling left out and insecure. You can tell all the terrible jokes you want and know someone will laugh because these are the people who understand you, who love you. I had missed them all more than they could know.

I had brought the hellish gingerbread in after people had started to arrive, so we ended up sitting around the coffee table, helping the children decorate them, though Charlie had wandered off at this point, maybe to find the cat.

Sophie proudly showed me the mess of white, green, and black icing she had made. “It’s the skull from your stories!”

“Wow!” I gushed. “It looks just like him! Is he your favourite?”

Sophie nodded happily.

“A wise choice,” said Skully. “Quite possibly the best character ever written.”

I elbowed him again.

Lockwood had Michael sat on his lap and was helping him decorate a gingerbread dinosaur. He was so kind and patient with him, and I got a strange warm feeling in my chest seeing them like that.

“Can we eat them yet?” said Sophie, once all the cookies were suitably drenched in icing.

“Ooh, I don’t know about that,” said Mary. “They’re so good, don’t you think Father Christmas will want them all for himself?”

“Will he be able to eat them all?” said Sophie, uncertainly.

“He’ll need the energy to fly around the whole world, won’t he?” said Lockwood.

“I guess so,” said Sophie, a little disappointedly.

“Don’t worry,” I said, “we’ll make a gingerbread house tomorrow to eat all for ourselves. How about that?”

Sophie seemed happy enough with that arrangement, which was good, as there was no way in hell I was about to let her eat those death cookies.

Charlie came back a while later while we were all in a heated discussion about High School Musical, aside from Barnes and Mrs Cubbins, who were entertaining the children. Don’t ask me how the conversation had turned to that because I have no idea.

Charlie stood sort of awkwardly to the side while we were arguing.

“That song was totally a euphemism! I mean, he was literally dancing the whole way through it!”

“But wasn’t Chad into Taylor?”

“Old news. He and Ryan literally swapped clothes. There is no heterosexual explanation for that!”

“Guys, shut up,” Skully interrupted, having noticed Charlie. “What’s up?”

“Well, there’s a lot of smoke pouring out of the kitchen.”

I leapt to my feet and ran to retrieve a very black beef Wellington from the oven while the others charged around the house, throwing open doors and windows to let the smoke out.

“I think you forgot to set the oven timer,” said Quill.

“No shit, Sherlock.”

“Is your smoke alarm broken?” said Barnes.

“Uhh,” I said. “I might have thrown that down the stairs at one point.”

Barnes gave me one of his disappointed looks. “You’re lucky the kitchen didn’t catch fire. And you could have said something sooner, Charlie.”

“People sometimes get angry when I interrupt,” they said, flapping their arms at there sides until Apollo bumped his head into their hand and Skully gave their shoulder a squeeze.

“Oh, don’t worry yourself, dear,” said Mrs Cubbins. “No harm done. I could whip something else up?”

“It’s fine mum,” said George. “We can just order pizza or something.”

We were all ravenous by the time the pizza arrived, but something about the smell finally set me off, and I had to rush upstairs to throw up in the toilet. Maybe I was coming down with something.

I headed back downstairs once I’d brushed my teeth and was feeling a little better, and realised Charlie had disappeared again, so I grabbed one of the least-offensive pizzas smell-wise, and headed back upstairs, where I found them sat on the bed in Skully’s (once Jessica’s) old room, with Apollo curled up next to them. They were rhythmically stroking a black cat that sat curled up on their lap, which was purring contentedly.

“You found Artemis, I see,” I said, placing the pizza box on the bedside table and climbing up onto the bed beside Apollo. “She doesn’t usually like strangers.”

“Understandable,” said Charlie, quietly.

“Bit much for you?” I said.

“Just needed a little break,” they said. “It’s loud down there. Apollo keeps trying to lie on me.”

“He’s trained to,” I said, petting the dog’s head. “When he senses someone’s sad or stressed. He’s a good boy, aren’t you Apollo?” His tail wagged happy in the Artemis’s face, and she gave me a cold stare.

“But that’s, like, my permanent state of being,” said Charlie.

I laughed at that. “That’ll be why he’s been following you around all day then.”

Charlie smiled and scratched Apollo’s chin. His leg pumped against the mattress and his tail wagged even more.

“Sorry about dinner,” said Charlie.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “It was my fault for not setting the timer… and for chucking the smoke alarm down the stairs. Just, for future reference, the kitchen nearly catching fire is one of the things you’re allowed to interrupt for.”

“Ugh, so many rules,” said Charlie.

“You’ll get used to them one day,” I said.

“Getting there,” said Charlie. “Oh, I should probably say congratulations, shouldn’t I?”

I frowned. “For my new book?”

“No,” said Charlie, looking a little confused now. “That, too, but…” They made an uncertain gesture towards my stomach. “Do you… not know yet?”

I could suddenly hear the blood rushing in my ears. “Know what?”

Charlie clapped their hands over their face, hunched over, and let out a little whine. “Messed up.”

“Know what, Charlie?” I repeated, more urgently.

“I might be wrong!” they blurted, voice sounding a little panicky. “I just sort of… have a sense for those kinds of things.”

“What kind of things?”

They began fidgeting with a loose thread in the bed sheets. “Like, I knew Skully had some connection to Visitors, and I know someone probably died in this room… and I know when people are pregnant. It’ll be a girl, I think. She’ll be a little late.”

I stared at them.

“I might be wrong,” Charlie repeated. “Just… maybe take a test.”

“What’s the likelihood that you’re wrong?” I said.

“Statistically…” they said. “Zero. I never have been.”

I swallowed and leaned back against the bedpost, my mind racing. I’d have to take a test as soon as possible, just to be sure. And if it was positive? I had no idea what I’d do. Would I even make a good mother? My own had been abusive and neglectful, spending Christmas alone this year because her children had finally had enough of her. What if I ended up like that?

But then I thought of Mary. My wonderful sister, who’d had the same upbringing, and yet, was an amazing mum. Granted, she’d once called me sobbing because she’d spanked Sophie for being naughty and thought she was turning into our mother, but she’d learnt from that mistake. She never laid a hand on her kids again, and she always had time for them. Teaching them right from wrong, gushing proudly over their messy drawings, oohing and aahing when they babbled on to her in mostly gibberish.

She made sure to tell her kids she loved them every single day, something our own mother never did.

And she’d done it all on her own, never being one for long-term relationships. I had Anthony, my incredible husband, who was kind and patient with my niece and nephew, and they adored him in return. We’d been through so much together, and no matter what, I knew he’d always stay by my side. If I slipped up, he’d steer me back in the right direction. He’d be a wonderful father.

The bubble of fear that had risen in my chest didn’t disappear, but it was joined by a bubble of excitement, and I let out a breath of air I didn’t know I’d been holding. Everything would turn out okay. It always did.

Charlie was looking at me like I might explode any second, so I turned my head and smiled at them, and they visibly relaxed.

The door opened and Skully slipped in. “Oh! Hiding, too? Think I’ll join.” And he clambered onto the between me and Charlie, poking Apollo out of the way with his foot. The dog didn’t stay away long, though, and clambered up onto Skully’s lap as he slung his arms over mine and Charlie’s shoulders. I leaned into him, gratefully. After the internal crisis I’d just had, I needed a hug.

“Why are you hiding?” I asked him.

“Your sister keeps trying to ambush me with mistletoe.”

I snorted. “I’ll have a word with her later. For some reason, she thinks you’re attractive.”

“Who doesn’t?” he said. “I’m bloody beautiful. Always have been. It’s a fact of life.”

“I wish I had your level of self-confidence,” I said. “But even when you were a mouldy skull in a jar?”

“Especially then,” he affirmed. “Have you seen my bone structure? Don’t deny it, you wanted a piece.”

“That’s disgusting,” I said, shoving away from him. “I am terminating our friendship.”

“Nah, you’d miss me too much,” he said. I chose not to respond to that.

“I’m gonna give Apollo a walk before it gets too late,” I said, causing the dog to leap from the bed and hop excitedly around my legs. “Want anything from the shops?”

“Pudding,” said Charlie.

“You’ve not even had dinner yet,” said Skully, picking up the pizza box and shoving it in Charlie’s face. I rolled my eyes and left them to their bickering.

Thank goodness the Problem was over, or twenty-four-hour stores wouldn’t exist.

I strolled leisurely through the snowy park, grateful to be out in the fresh air away from the stench of the pizza. I was pretty sure it had been the smell of barbecue sauce that had made me nauseous.

I peered at the little cardboard box in my hands as Apollo ran around like a maniac, shovelling his face into the snow, trying to pick up fallen tree branches twice his size, barking at nothing. Two bands for pregnant, one for not. Seemed simple enough. I just had to pee on a little plastic stick, and five minutes later, my whole life could be changed forever. No biggie.

I feared for my friends’ relationships when I got home and heard abuse being shouted from the living room, but, as it turned out, they were just playing Mario Kart. Charlie, Skully, George, and Flo racing while the others watched.

“Did you just drop a banana in my face?!”

“Ooh, careful, Charlie! George just sent a leader bomb.”

“For the last time, Lockwood, it’s called a blue shell!”

“It’s a bomb that targets the leader.”

“It’s a shell that is blue!”

“CHARLIE, YOU LITTLE SHIT!”

That last part had been because Charlie had driven off the side of the road so that the blue shell had targeted second place (AKA Skully) instead. Charlie just smirked as they were placed back on the track and drove smoothly across the finish line in first place.

“Jesus Christ, guys,” I said, alerting them to my presence. “I thought there was a murder going on. Where’s Mary and the kids?”

“She’s giving them a bath before bed,” said Holly.

“Care to join us, Luce?” said Quill. “We’re up next.”

“Maybe in a sec,” I said, letting Apollo off his lead so he could greet the others as if he hadn’t seen them in months. “Need to pee first.”

I had to use the bathroom in my old attic bedroom, seen as Mary and the kids were using the main one.

Five minutes seemed to last for an eternity.

I exited the bathroom and perched on my old bedroom windowsill to wait, where the skull’s jar had once sat. I had never imagined that ten years later he’d been hanging around with everyone downstairs, annoying them all with his comments that, once upon a time, only I had been able to hear.

I looked around the room. Over in that corner, Annie Ward’s ghost had once hovered over her fallen locket that I’d taken from her corpse, and it was where Lockwood and I had fought her off with an iron children’s mobile. I wondered if he still had that.

The bed, that was where Lockwood had left his mother’s necklace for me. The symbol of love and devotion that I still wore around my neck to this day. Now I was waiting to find out if I’d be having his child.

Oh, how times change.

How we’d grown.

The timer on my phone chimed to alert me that five minutes was up. I took a deep breath. I looked at the test.

Two bands.

“We need to put the milk and cookies out for Santa!” Sophie insisted, trying to prolong bedtime as long as possible. “And carrots for the reindeer!”

“Santa doesn’t like milk,” said Skully. “Santa likes beer.”

“I think Santa’s a little more partial to red wine, actually,” said Holly.

I shot them both an unimpressed look. “I don’t think Santa should be drinking and driving.”

“Alcohol’s gross anyway,” said Charlie. “Santa would probably prefer chocolate milk.”

“I’m pretty sure ‘Santa’ is lactose intolerant,” said Skully.

“Only a little,” said Charlie. “And it’s Christmas, so Santa’s allowed.”

“I think we should compromise and give Santa Bailey’s,” said George.

“With an extra drop of whiskey, perhaps,” his mother added.

“Ooh, Santa does like Bailey’s,” said Mary.

Sophie was looking very confused. My friends were all terrible people.

I ignored all of them and poured Santa a glass of coke, which I allowed Sophie to put on the mantelpiece.

“There,” said Mary. “Now bed. Michael’s already asleep coz he’s a good boy.”

“But mummyyy,” Sophie whined, “I wanna see Santa!”

“Santa won’t come if he knows you’re awake,” said Mary.

“Santa eats the children who stay awake,” said Skully. Sophie stared at him in horror.

“NO! No, he doesn’t!” I said.

“No, you’re right,” said Skully, thoughtfully. “I’m thinking of his brother.”

“No one eats children!” I said firmly. “He’s just trying to scare you, Sophie.”

Suddenly, there came the sounded of a loud bang from above. Outside, snow began to fall and the water vapour on the window crystallised into intricate patterns that spread across the glass.

“Uh oh,” said Skully, “looks like he’s here already. You better go to bed before he eats you.”

Sophie squealed and ran out of the room, clambering up the stairs to George’s old room where she and Michael would be sleeping. Mary gave me a confused look before going after her to tuck her in and make sure she wasn’t scarred for life.

I turned to Skully and crossed my arms, unimpressed. “You better not have broken anything.”

“Just knocked over a bookshelf, no biggie,” he said, shrugging.

“In the attic?” I said. “You remember you’re sleeping in there, right?”

He waved his hand dismissively. “I’ll sort it out before bed.”

Barnes and Mrs Cubbins went home shortly afterwards, saying they were too old to stay up as late as us ‘youths’, and the rest of us sat around playing games like scrabble and jenga and charades, like hard-core ‘youths’ do.

We decided that the forfeit for losing anything was to eat one of the cookies, which, aside from nearly breaking my teeth, tasted about as nice as I would imagine a cookie that had been shoved up Satan’s arsehole to taste like. To put it simply, they weren’t the best.

As it turned out, Skully and Charlie had both learned some sign language for the occasions when Charlie became non-verbal due to stress, something none of us knew until after they’d won every single game of charades. Cheats.

After that, we just ended up doing our own things. Mary gossiped away to Quill about people he’d never heard of, and he listened attentively, probably just glad to not be the only extra wheel. George and Flo battled each other on Mario Kart, while Holly and Rani spun each other around by the fire to Christmas tunes, all giggly.

“Care for a dance, Luce?” Lockwood asked me.

“Maybe later,” I told him. Skully had wandered off and had been gone a good half hour now. It always worried me when he did that.

I found him lying on the floor in the library. Thankfully, Charlie was with him, as were Apollo and Artemis. Artemis was lying beneath the Christmas tree, pawing at the ornaments, while Apollo had draped himself over Skully’s chest. Charlie had set up their laptop by Skully’s head, which was playing a Christmas film, and they were sat on his other side, doodling on his arm which rested on their lap.

The tip of the felt pen rose and fell over the single raised scar that marred Skully’s arm, as Charlie drew crude little stars and hearts and skulls in bright green ink.

“Alright down there?” I asked as I took a seat on the floor beside Charlie and watched them draw. It was strangely soothing.

“I don’t get why the Whos hate the Grinch,” said Skully, not taking his eyes off the computer screen. “He’s so relatable.”

“They’re probably just racist,” I replied.

“Probably.”

“Done,” said Charlie, putting the lid back on the felt pen.

Skully raised his arm in front of his face to inspect the doodles. “Disgusting,” he said. “Do the other arm.”

“I want a go,” I said, picking up the pen.

“No, you’ll just draw a penis or something,” Skully protested.

“That’s something you’d do,” I said. “I’m way more mature.”

As I drew, Charlie lay down on their stomach by the tree and waggled some tinsel in front of Artemis for her to try and catch. “Can we get a cat, Skull?”

“We can barely remember to feed ourselves,” said Skully.

“But cats scream at you when they’re hungry,” Charlie reasoned.

“True,” said Skully. “We can check the shelters in January for all the discarded Christmas present kitties.”

“That’s sad,” said Charlie, sounding genuinely very upset for the shelter cats. “Stop being depressing.”

I put the cap back on the pen. “Finished!”

Skully inspected my drawing. “Okay, what is that if not a penis?”

“It’s a work of art,” I said. “All those years of life-drawing at art school have lead me to this moment.”

“I’m starting to think I’m a bad influence on you,” Skully said, trying to wipe off the dick drawing before he gave up and just pulled his sleeves back down. At least he seemed a little more chipper now.

Charlie’s phone chimed. “My brother’s outside,” they informed me.

“Does he not like knocking?” I said.

“I texted him not to in case he woke the children,” Charlie replied, reaching for their laptop to put away.

I stood up and went to let Charlie’s brother in.

The man standing in the doorway was definitely not what I expected, to say the least.

“You’re Charlie’s brother,” I blurted before I could stop myself.

He chuckled and rubbed the back of his head shyly. “Yeah, I guess we don’t look that much alike.”

That was an understatement. Where Charlie was short and slight, their brother was big and bulky. His biceps alone must have been about as thick as Charlie’s waist, and were heavily tattooed. Where Charlie’s eyes were sky blue, his were steely grey. Their hair was short and bronze and curly, his was long and black and tied back in a ponytail, with a beard to match.

He looked… kind of like he belonged in Asgard. And a voice behind me confirmed my suspicions.

“Lucas?”

“Quill?!” Lucas gasped, eyed widening in shock.

I heard the others scrambling in the living room before they appeared in the doorway, very unsubtly spying on the two men, who were now the centre of attention.

Quill looked down at the tacky, pom-pommed Christmas jumper that his grandma had knitted him, then back up to Lucas, a man who looked very much like an impossibly handsome Norse god, and swallowed, his face growing redder by the second. “Uhh… W-what are you doing here?”

“I–”

He was cut short by Charlie entering the hallway from the library, with their backpack slung over their shoulders and Skully at their heels. “Lucas!”

“Hey, kiddo! Long time, no see,” Lucas greeted, his face splitting into a huge grin as he yanked his sibling into a bone-crushing hug that pulled them off their feet.

“Eek! Nonono. This is why I don’t like hugs!” Charlie squealed, wiggling in his grasp until he dropped them, quite unceremoniously, on the floor and ruffled their hair, making the curls stick up at odd angles.

Quill’s eyes darted between Charlie and Lucas, then to Skully, who was leaning against the library doorway, grinning sadistically at Quill. I had a feeling he’d known exactly who Quill’s crush was ever since Rani had first mentioned him.

“I am not a child!” Charlie protested, batting Lucas’s hand away. “I am a grown adult!”

“Uh, no,” said Lucas. “If you’re an adult, that means I’m definitely an adult, and I’m just not ready to accept that reality yet.”

“You’ve been an adult for well over a decade now,” Charlie reminded him.

“Hush,” said Lucas. “Now, wait here while I talk to Quill for a sec.”

Charlie glanced back at Quill, who was standing very awkwardly in the middle of the hall, obviously very aware of everyone’s eyes on him.

“But mum and dad are expecting us by half-past,” they said. “We have to go.”

“You got everything?” said Lucas. That did it; Charlie immediately opened their backpack to check, giving Lucas a chance to slip into the kitchen with Quill.

Rani was eying the closed kitchen doorway, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Mary?” she said. “You still got that mistletoe?”

Mary caught her eye and grinned. “Say no more,” she said, retrieving the little plastic plant from her pocket and handing it to her giraffe of a brother-in-law to hang silently above the doorway.

“Quill is going to murder you,” I said in a hushed voice, trying to fight the smile attempting to make its way onto my lips.

When the kitchen door opened, and Quill saw what was dangling above him, he turned, if possible, even redder than he already had been. Lucas’s cheeks turned a little pink, too.

“Y-you don’t have to!” Quill spluttered. “It’s just my friends being idiots! They–”

He was cut short when Lucas pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “See ya New Year’s Eve, yeah?”

“Y-yeah,” Quill squeaked, looking like he was about to collapse any second.

Lucas walked down the hallway, picked up Charlies bag with one hand, and slung Charlie themself over his shoulder with the other.

“I wasn’t done!” Charlie protested, thrashing their legs about.

“I am one hundred percent sure you remembered everything,” said Lucas. “Hometime. Mum and dad are expecting us.”

I opened the door for them and Lucas stepped out into the snow and headed towards his car.

“Merry Christmas!” Lockwood called after them.

“Happy Holidays!” Lucas called back.

Skully flipped Charlie off in lieu of a goodbye, as is the way with close friends, and they returned the gesture before Lucas plonked them down onto the roof of his car and made a show of pretending to try and drive off while they were still there.

We watched the car drive away, with Charlie safely in the passenger seat, and as soon as I shut the door, everyone turned to Quill.

“What did he say? What did he say?” Holly squealed, almost hopping up and down with excitement.

“Did he ask you out?” Lockwood asked, grinning from ear to ear.

“Ooh, what’s that in your hand?” Rani crowed.

“Gimme, gimme!” Mary cried, lunging for the piece of paper which Quill quickly yanked away and held above his head. It wasn’t very effective, as Flo came up behind him and swiftly plucked it out of his grip.

“A number,” she said, smirking.

George took the paper as Quill tried to grab it back and pushed his glasses further up his nose to inspect it. “And a time and address,” he said. “Looks like Quill, here, has a date.”

“Shut up, all of you!” Quill seethed, face glowing as red as Rudolph’s nose. “It’s not like it’s a big deal or anything!”

“Of course it’s a big deal!” Holly cried. “Our little Quill’s growing up.”

“I am older than everyone here,” he reminded her.

“And yet, most of them are married, and you’re not,” said Skully.

Quill turned to glare at him. “You could have warned me, arsehole.”

“Hey,” said Skully, holding up his hands in defence. “I’m sure there are many guys your age called Lucas fitting the exact description Flo gave us. How was I supposed to know?”

“You absolute–”

“Hey,” Lockwood interrupted. “No harm done. You got his number!”

“I looked like a complete idiot in front of him,” Quill wailed, gesturing towards his jumper.

“I’m sure he found it endearing,” Holly reasoned.

“Oh, sure, that’s exactly what I wanted,” said Quill. “The guy appears out of nowhere looking like an actual god, but at least I look endearing.”

“So, you gonna call him?” Rani teased.

Quill plucked the paper out of George’s hands and pocketed it. “That’s none of your concern. Oh, by the way, I can’t come to your New Year’s Eve party, Luce. I have a date with a hot guy.”

“Traitor,” I said, but I was grinning at him.

My friends slowly dispersed after that, heading home to their own families before it got too late. Hugs were exchanged, Holly gave us all a kiss on the cheek, Skully even said goodbye to George fairly civilly before going to demolish the rest of the Bailey’s now that Charlie wasn’t there to tame him.

“Want some, Luce?” he asked.

“Nah, I’m good.”

“What’s this?” said Mary. “My sister denying Bailey’s? Are you feeling quite alright?”

I just stuck my tongue out at her.

Mary was in bed by eleven, exhausted from all the socialising and handling the kids. Artemis and Apollo were curled up, fast asleep, on the sofa, and Skully was dropping off not long after; for all his big talk, alcohol only made him sleepy.

“Come on, you mess,” Lockwood told him, slinging Skully’s arm around his shoulders to take him up to bed.

While I waited for him to come back, I fiddled about with the radio, trying to find a good song.

‘Have yourself a merry little Christmas,’

“Oh, I love this song!” Lockwood said upon returning.

I smiled and held out a hand to him. “Come on. I owe you a dance.”

‘Let your heart be light,’

He grinned at me and made a show of a great, sweeping bow, before taking my hand and twirling me around.

‘From now on our troubles will be out of sight,’

I giggled and wound my arms around his shoulders as he tugged me in by my waist. Our noses brushed together as we swayed in a circle, and the lights on the Christmas tree twinkled gently.

‘Have yourself a merry little Christmas,’

On the mantelpiece, the clock struck midnight.

“Happy Christmas, Lucy.”

“Happy Christmas, Anthony.”

‘Make the yuletide gay,’

“How would you feel about having your present now?”

“Depends on what it is.”

“Remember your mobile?” I said. “The one with the smiley giraffe?”

“What about it?”

“We might need to get that out again.”

He frowned at me. “What for?”

‘From now on, our troubles will be miles away,’

His dark eyes glittered as they reflected the lights on the tree. His fringe had fallen into his face when he’d bowed. I raised my hand and brushed it out of the way.

“Anthony,” I said. The right words were difficult to find, so I just went for it. “I’m pregnant.”

He stopped dancing. “You… you’re… what?”

He looked just like a deer caught in headlights. I let out a little breathy laugh. “Pregnant,” I repeated. “You’re gonna be a dad.”

He stared at me, like the words were taking a while to process. “I’m… gonna be a dad.” He laughed, short and breathless, a slight, surprised smile gracing his lips. “I’m gonna be a dad,” he repeated, more certainly. “You’re gonna be a mum.”

He kissed me then. And again and again. On the mouth, forehead, cheeks, nose. He couldn’t seem to stop smiling, and I couldn’t either.

“Oh, don’t start,” I said, wiping a thumb under his damp eyes and sniffling. “You’ll set me off.”

“I can’t help it,” he said. “We’re gonna be amazing, you and me. I love you so much, Lucy.”

“I love you, too, you big goon,” I told him.

We were back to swaying along to the music now, holding each other tight with huge smiles on our faces and teary eyes like two soppy, very in-love idiots.

‘Faithful friends who are dear to us, gather near to us once more,’

I’d tell the others soon, of course. But maybe give it a few weeks. Have something just to ourselves for a little while.

‘Through the years, we all will be together, if the fates allow,’

They’d be so excited. My big happy family. Even Skully, though I knew he’d pretend not to be. Mary would probably blurt it out to the rest of the Carlyles as soon as I told her. I wondered how my mother would react.

‘Hang a shining star upon the highest bow,’

I tucked my head into Lockwood’s shoulder. Now wasn’t the time to start overthinking things. Now was the time to enjoy Christmas with my husband. Our last Christmas together without children of our own. Next year, the Carlyle-Lockwood household would be so much busier.

And I was so excited.

‘And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.’

The Incident

[aion-rsa]

Fatman: Why Mel Gibson Found Christmas Spirit at the End of a Gun

https://ift.tt/3evPPz5

Sometimes you find the Spirit of Christmas in the strangest of places. For brothers Eshom and Ian Nelms, it was at an awards season screening of Hacksaw Ridge in December 2016. The pair had already been dreaming of Fatman and its desperado Santa Claus for more than a decade when they attended the event. But they weren’t there that night for Santa; they came for a Q&A with Mel Gibson, the mercurial filmmaker who seemed to be on the cusp of reconciliation with Hollywood.

Arriving to his own screening renewed and happy, and with a bushy gray beard worthy of Methuselah, Gibson could still make a hell of an impression, both on an industry impressed by his World War II drama and the two young filmmakers with eyes due North.

“Gibson came out and he had this amazing beard,” Ian recalls over a Zoom interview, still with a twinkle in his eye. “He was a little slumped over and kneading his beard, very passionately talking to the audience about what he was excited about in the film and why he made it. But he also was right at the end of that award circuit, and you could see that he was a little worn out… you could see the wear and tear on him [and] a guy that was little beaten down at that point. We instantly looked at each other and we’re like, ‘That’s the guy.”

They were ready to shout that’s our Santa!

It’s an unusual origin story for a Christmas movie, but then Fatman isn’t your child’s new Netflix Christmas darling. Starring Gibson as an aged and broken man who is clinging on to the last vestiges of hope for a better tomorrow, Fatman seeks to ground Father Christmas with the same dispirited nihilism that James Mangold applied to Wolverine a few years ago in Logan. Both movies are ostensibly Westerns, informed by the deconstructionist streak of Clint Eastwood’s Unforgiven, and both end in a bloodbath.

Yet whereas Unforgiven is the story of a cowboy, and Logan a clawed antihero, Fatman is about Santa existing  in a world where hitmen like Walton Goggins’ “Skinny Man” come out of the woodwork, eager to claim his scalp. However, if you sit down and ask the Nelms about this somber approach to the character, it makes perfect sense in the early 21st century.

“When we were doing some of the research and finding out how much money the holiday season really drives our economy, it’s amazing, right?” Eshom says. “You can see why that engine was created.”

Indeed, according to the World Economic Forum, Americans alone spend more than $1 trillion a year on holiday retail. And that doesn’t even  consider how much more is spent on holiday festivities, public events, and travel.

“I mean, Rudolph, which now seems to be a staple of Christmas, was actually an invention of [retailer] Montgomery Ward’s back in the day,” Ian says. “That’s a marketing ploy. Rudolph doesn’t exist!”

This cold economic reality informs the brothers’ approach to Santa. Other than his genuinely sweet partnership with Ruth (Marianne Jean-Baptiste), aka Mrs. Claus, Gibson’s Chris Kringle is despondent and cynical about the world today. It’s why he allowed his operation to become subsidized by the U.S. government, which in turn wants to prop up the American economy but is as oblivious about the Spirit of Christmas as the little boy (Chance Hurtsfield) who puts a bounty on Santa’s head after receiving a lump of coal on Dec. 25.

It’s an unorthodox take, and one the Nelms’ have been working on for the better part of 20 years. The pair tell us that the concept first came to them in 2003, fortuitously around the same time they bought their first DVDs: Unforgiven for Ian and Unbreakable for Eshom.

“This sort of superhero-Western mashup was, I think, a big catalyst for the film,” Eshom notes, particularly appreciating how grounded and stealthy the superheroics were in M. Night Shyamalan’s Unbreakable. Their premise also fit into each brother’s preference for niche “alternative Christmas movies.” As a pair more inclined to enjoy Kiss Kiss Bang Bang or Gremlins during the holidays, not to mention the Gibson-starring Lethal Weapon, they saw an opportunity to make a unique genre-bender.

However, real movement on Fatman didn’t start until the Nelms began getting their foot in the industry in 2006, and they’ve been refining the idea ever since.

“We always wanted him to be an everyman,” Eshom says about the creative process. “We wanted [Chris and Ruth] to be really relatable and have a lot of what people would consider blue collar problems.”

As the sons of small business owners, the Nelms were able to understand that dynamic intimately, even if the stakes they saw growing up were never over the soul of Christmas.

Says Ian, “[Our parents] owned a photography business for 20 some odd years, and our mom was very much the Ruth. She was the backbone of that business, and he was very much the Chris, where he was the lead photographer. She was an amazing photographer in her own right, but he was the lead photographer and the business had his name on it, and he started it before he even met our mom. But he wouldn’t have lasted five seconds without our mom, because she really held that thing together. Even though he was a great photographer, the logistics eluded him, completely.”

That dynamic informs much of Fatman, which ended up being the Nelms’ fourth feature film. The movie is accurately marketed on the grizzled violence that eventually puts Goggins’ Skinny Man on the opposite end of a snow bank from Gibson’s Kringle. The slender one bellows, “I’ve come for your head, Fatman!” But the film surprisingly plays its absurdities straight, not least of all because of Gibson and Jean-Baptiste’s affection.

It’s one element the brothers emphasized to Gibson when they finally got in a room with the filmmaker to pitch the project; another was how stripped down and crusty their vision of Santa would be.

“The pictures that we were showing him were these pictures of these old trappers, and these guys who were visiting Antarctica in the early 1900s and they were on dog sleds,” Ian says. “We were… really bringing it back to a place of when this guy got started. Maybe the jacket is real leather and that’s real animal fur? It’s like it goes back to a time when he was originated, and we felt like that jacket had been upgraded for hundreds of years with Ruth stitching it up.”

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It clearly wasn’t Tim Allen’s Santa Claus, but that was the point. They expressly pitched that point to the star they’d grown up watching in Mad Max and Lethal Weapon movies, and Gibson in turn ran with the “cowboy” angle, modeling Chris on several people he knew in his own life.

Even with this background, audiences will likely be surprised by how stripped down Fatman is when they watch it for themselves. Because while there may be elves with bells on their shoes, for example, these helpers work in a low lit, industrial hell and on a stretch of Alaskan farmland far removed from a magical workshop.

Says Eshom, “We were like, ‘Okay, Santa’s in the North Pole?’ Well, there isn’t shit at the North Pole. So if he really wanted an infrastructure and to [actually] get supplies and power, and all this stuff, we’re like, ‘Okay he’s got to be somewhere where there’s a slight civilization. So Alaska.”

It’s part and parcel for an approach that pivots on grounding the Santa Claus mythology in as much reality as possible. This Santa still rides around the world on magical reindeer, but we don’t actually see that Christmas Eve adventure. Instead we bear witness to the aftermath, where Chris comes home exhausted and bleeding, with a hole in his coat from where some kid shot him with a BB-gun.

It’s obviously unlike any Santa you’ve ever seen before. And while the film has already been welcomed by a niche audience in limited theatrical release, it’s also received plenty of criticism for its violent portrayal of Father Christmas. But the Nelms are unbothered by that criticism.

“This isn’t for kids, you know?” Eshom says. “If you want Miracle on 34th Street mixed with Die Hard, this might be your flavor.”  Additionally, each director is stunned at how much more timely a beleaguered Santa feels in 2020, since they’ve been trying to get this movie off the ground for 14 years.

“We finished shooting right at the beginning of the pandemic,” Ian says. “We finished shooting and then the next day they shut down all productions in Canada. We were really fortunate to finish on time and then we spent the next six months editing it in my basement. So we had a wonderful distraction, which was nice, but it was a weird time to do it because the tension [is] ratcheting across the world, especially in our country being hit so hard by the pandemic.”

Ironically, they made a film about a once benevolent figure looking at the rising despair and naughtiness of modern American society, and recoiling. That tension, which is as tight a string can get without breaking according to Ian, has only gotten further strained since the film’s edit locked.

Nevertheless, the filmmakers don’t view Santa Claus or the Spirit he represents as a cynical one, even in Fatman. Rather they describe Gibson’s Chris Kringle as something of a guiding light: a man who gives toys to urge children toward whatever skills or proclivities they might have to better realize their futures. So Chris’ wearied resolution to continue the job is as optimistic as it is archetypal.

“I think he’s disgusted in himself, really,” says Ian. “He has that line at the end of the film where he just says, ‘You know, it’s partly my fault that we’ve gotten to this point.’ He’s talking about the state of the world, and he feels like he hasn’t quite been doing his job the last few hundred years. He’s let everything kind of slip and slide, as people do… But he’s trying to figure out how to get it back, and that’s really what the bottom line is, right? Like a call to action, he’s got to get back to the old ways.”

Maybe we all can this Christmas.

Fatman is available on VOD and in limited theatrical release now.

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The post Fatman: Why Mel Gibson Found Christmas Spirit at the End of a Gun appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/33eyoPb

[skycladobserver]

Okakuri Week Day 2: Time

I’m not a very creativity-oriented person, so translating stuff is about the best I can do for events like this.

The following is the short epilogue of a series of light novels which are basically the anime version of S;G told from Kurisu’s point of view. It takes place 7 years after the events of S;G and is about the birth of Suzuha. But it also has some Okakuri goodness in it, so I decided to post it for Okakuri Week.

(I considered posting it on Suzuha’s birthday on the 27th, but I was short on things to post for Okakuri Week, so here it is now.)

Seven years had passed.

Just as I had that day, I was staring at the pin badge in my hand.

The circular part was devided into an inner and outer section, and the inner section had a gear design. The outer section had the letters 'OSHMKUFA 2010' engraved on it. The gear represented time, and the arrow represented transcending time. In other words, it represented a time machine

This was the symbol of all the Labmems of the Future Gadget Laboratory, including me.

Various things had happened these seven years. I had been almost forcefully made into a Labmem after he told me that I had to pay him back for saving my life (although he said this out of embarrassment), and I was pushed into a double lifestyle between Japan and America. In other words, I visited Japan every time I had vacation time. Although, it was frustrating because I was busy and didn't often get the opportunity to visit.

Right after I became a Labmem, I was hit with a very chuunibyou story about "different worldlines"--although it was in response to my questions about his strange behavior, and before I knew it, we had mutually confessed our love for each other.

The reason I was able to easily believe his absurd story was partly due to me having some slight Reading Steiner ability. Although, I suspect that it's not a special ability at all; it's probably something everyone has.

Even after things settled down, there were quite a few times when Rintaro got caught up in incidents due to his inherent personality and charisma. Especially that one time when... No, I'll save that for next time. Because now we were going to be meeting a nostalgic face.

Today was what Rintaro called 'the promised day.'

I looked at the letters carved on the pin badge in my hand. They were the labmems' initials, in labmem number order.

Labmem Number 001 was O for Okabe Rintaro.

Number 002 was S for Shiina Mayuri.

003 was H for Hashida Itaru.

004 was M for me, Makise Kurisu.

005 was K for Kiryu-san.

006 was U for Urushibara-san.

007 was F for Faris-san.

And the last, 008 was A for Amane Suzuha.

Rintaro had talked about her many times and how she was a good friend and benefactor who had saved him--and us all. And today, we were going to meet her.

Technically, the girl who I should call Hashida Suzuha had been born of Hashida and his wife Yuki-san a few days ago. The craziness of her birth had quieted down, and we had been invited last night by Yuki-san to come and see her.

In other words, what Rintaro had always said about Labmem Number 008 appearing after seven years had come true.

Normally, it wasn't good for a group of people to crowd in on the mother and newborn child, but Yuki-san probably remembered how considerate Rintaro had been after she got pregnant. So that's why Suzuha was getting an unusually early debut.

--

"Ku-nyan, I missed you nya!"

As soon as we arrived at the hospital, Faris-san, aka Akiha Rumiho gave me a hug. Even though she was now in her twenties, she was still as adorable as ever. I hugged her back, and we renewed our old friendship.

"I missed you, too! Have you been well?"

"Of course nya ♪"

Faris-san said with a bright smile. Just as she moved away from me to greet Rintaro next, a taxi stopped in front of the hospital. A woman with fine features and a similarly attractive young man got out.

"Makise-san."

The woman noticed me first and spoke to me. It was fellow Labmem Kiryu-san. And Urushibara-san had come with her.

"...Kiryu-san, Urushibara-san!" "It's been a long time. How have you been?"

They didn't seem to have changed. Well, actually, I got the feeling Urushibara-san looked even more handsome than before. When I had first met him, I had believed without a doubt that he was a delicate girl, but my impression of him now was quite different. ...Although, he still sometimes looked much cuter than a lot of girls.

After making some small talk, we entered the hospital. We had taken care of our long-time-no-sees outside because we had to be quiet in the hospital.

We registered for our visit at the nurse station and headed towards the hospital room. And at our destination Mayuri, who had arrived earlier, and Hashida were waiting.

"Ah, Kurisu-chan, tutturu ♪"

"Mayuri, I didn't know you were already here!"

Mayuri and I grabbed each other's hands and rejoiced over our reunion. Just then, Hashida cut in from the side with a wry smile.

"You're just gonna ignore me?

"Ah, I'm sorry. That wasn't my intent. I just spotted Mayuri first."

I explained to Hashida, who had spoken jokingly. He didn't seem offended, but since I had come to congratulate them, I didn't want him to feel bad in the slightest.

"Yeah, I know."

Hashida smiled. To be honest, he was probably the one that my impression of had changed the most. His physique was already completely different from how it had been seven years ago.

"First of all, congratulations, Hashida. Now you're a father... Where are your wife and Suzuha-chan?"

I asked after congratulating him.

"It's like everyone gets impatient when they're around a baby... Yuki's gone to pick Suzuha up with the nurse... Ah!"

Hashida stopped talking and waved towards the door of the hospital room. There stood Yuki-san, holding a baby wrapped in a white blanket.

"Hello, everyone. I see you're all here..."

With a sweet smile, Yuki-san came into her own hospital room. We took the initiative to open the space between her and the bed.

"Congratulations. ...So cute."

Everyone said their congratulations. Still unable to respond to everyone's words, Suzuha-chan only opened and closed her eyes and squirmed.

Rintaro walked up to her and pulled out the last pin badge. Then he placed it in her cute, small hand. The eight labmems had all finally reunited.

I could see that Rintaro had tears in his eyes. He seemed to be at a loss for words. It was the end of a long, long journey. And it was also the beginning of a new journey. This was one of those times for him. I couldn't blame him.

So I said it in his place.

"Nice to meet you... And probably, welcome back."

In response, it seemed that the small Suzuha-chan opened her eyes ever so slightly, giving rise to a certain feeling in me.

Up until now, I had always been driven by wanting to know things. The more I knew, the more new things I wanted to know, and the world got more and more interesting. ...But...

"What is it, Kurisu?"

Rintaro suddenly spoke to me. I gave him a slight smile.

"It's nothing. ... I'll tell you later."

That's right. I had just thought of something new I wanted to know. ...But I couldn't do it by myself. I would have to talk to Rintaro and get his cooperation.

If he knew what new thing I wanted to know was, what would he think? Just as I thought that, he put his hand on my shoulder.

"I know..."

It was a deep, loving, protective voice. I looked at Rintaro in surprise.

"This is also the choice of Steins Gate."

[thedivinefish]

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We’re celebrating Independence Day all month long by FREEING you up from what’s holding you back!!!

Freedom from pain, stuckness, overwhelm, excess weight, uncertainty, procrastination, negative self-talk & beliefs, bad habits, past failures, your boss, a bad relationship, parents, siblings, abuse by others?

What are you ready to give up & become independent from? What’s been haunting you that you're ready to be done with? for good! Join us LIVE & submit your 3 issues by 3pm on day of event, July 29th.

Register Now - $22

(June) Restoring Inner Peace During Outer Chaos (May) Reinvigorating Your Work Life Switches (April) Moving Forward Switches (March) Luck Switches (Feb) Love & Romance Switches (Jan) Supercharge Abundance Switches (Dec) Abundance Switches (Sept) Youth & Vitality Switches Visit the shop for all replays and to play this brief audio if you've never heard Jimmy explain about switches. As one person on Facebook wrote when recommending to a friend: "These Zoom calls are an absolute "yawn fest" (in the very best sense ;) He works fast and furious with releases." 

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

  JULY 22nd "Today I will reach out and up into the ethers and access that which others felt were not possible.  Instead of focusing on obstacles, I will focus on solutions, benefits and the many blessing and favor that is upon me now and always."

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

Thurs. July 30th - Your Divine Uniqueness with host Moncef Akfir.  Join Spiritual Masters FREE For Live & Interactive Sessions, Plus Receive Instant Bonuses. Register Here

Thursday Sept. 23rd - The Global Gathering with host Dipal Shah. The Gathering is an online spiritual event in which multiple healers, lightworkers, catalysts and spiritual teachers come together as ONE to support humanity by anchoring love, light, joy, wellness and optimism.    Join Us and Watch Online! 

The Jimmy Mack Healing Radio Show

TUESDAY'S at 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT CALL IN ☎️  (206) 806-9965 https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions Please note as of August 1st all of the radio shows will be live video shows. You can watch on Facebook or YouTube links below:   https://m.facebook.com/GoldylocksProductions   https://www.youtube.com/c/GoldylocksProductions

Click Here for Previous Weeks' Show and a full archive of past guests & replays.

Yesterday's Show - Special Guest Jeremy Riden | Divine Spark Ministries https://www.facebook.com/JeremyRiden/

July 28th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page 

August 4th – Joanne Leo | Psychic https://psychicjoanneleo.com/

August 11th – Kevin Lee | Certified Spiritual Medium http://revkevinlee.com/about-kevin/

August 18th– Jeremy Riden | Divine Spark Ministries https://www.facebook.com/JeremyRiden/

August 25th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show is LIVE on Tuesday's at 4pm EDT  If you want to Listen in only, go to this website: https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions OR If you want to call in & ask a question CALL ☎️  (206) 806-9965 No need to press #1, just dial in and you'll be in the queue. If the Call in Number above doesn’t seem to work, please use this back up Call in Number: (425) 535-9149 when prompted, enter 206.806.9965 followed by #  International Callers, click the link below for the International call in list for your country.  If you're using the Free Conference Call App, it automatically re-routes the best call In number for you.  Please unblock your phone number if you wish to speak with Jimmy and or his guest host. Blocked, Restricted and Private Callers are not brought on air.

From the Fish Box

"Hey Jimmy! I started the prayer service again 9 days ago to help my dad, as I was telling you he had just returned home from the hospital after suffering from a 3rd recurrence of cellulitis in 4 years, plus congestive heart failure. But once he was back home, the cellulitis came back even worse with his legs breaking out in huge blisters which became very red and raw and continued to leak fluid. This was going on for days and it looked like he was heading right back to the hospital when I contacted you. No joke, the very next day after the prayer service started he began feeling better! Things improved VERY quickly (so much so that 4 days into the prayer service the nurse who does his therapy commented on how quickly things were turning around)! He continues to make more progress every day, too. Thanks so much Jimmy, I have no doubt at all that you and Spirit made all the difference here! Just like it did for my mom years ago when she broke her hip! Thanks, just thanks for everything buddy!" ~Kevin M.

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers. *NOTE if the MDP Service was purchased via a special telesummit or radio show offer, prayers will be limited to BUYER ONLY - and will not include family members or pets.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

 Tampa Office Sessions

FRIDAY AUGUST 14th at

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s NEW office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions from 10-4 on Friday August 14th.

NEW OFFICE LOCATION! 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS 

Friday sessions are back to being phone-only for folks that I usually see at Kodawari until further notice. You can book time with me in the shop and schedule online.   3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa ☎️ (813) 999-1874 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN MORE HERE

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library. 

Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with you immediate friends and family.

Abundance Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe COVID-19 Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Windfall Youth & Vitality

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​ ​​Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit (*Updated May 2019) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2020 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com  

Stay connected!

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

[divinefishingtips]

TGIWednesday ... are you caught up in destination addiction?

TGIWednesday News

We’ve all been caught up in this at one point... the thought or belief that your next car, next romance, next job, next place, next trip, next purchase or program will somehow “finally make me happy”.  It’s referred to as 'destination addiction'. Make every effort to be happy right where you are in the here and now and it will allow happy to find YOU.  Every day is a process where we’re thinking and overthinking about 90 percent of the same thoughts as we did the day before.  As much as I can, I simply stop “thinking” and move in a flow/cadence/rhythm to the next movement as if I was in a song.  As much as you can - just for today - STOP thinking about the past, be fully present in this moment and lean towards your future.  I know this can help/contribute to you and your life!!! We're putting the final touches on our newest audio mp3 release MyBeliefWorks™ for Inspiring and Igniting Your Creative Spark, aka 'The Creatives'. This is for those of you who are artists, musicians, performers, writers, intuitive healers and empaths and it can assist you in getting unstuck, releasing brain fog and getting your creative juices flowing again! This audio WILL raise your vibration and attract new opportunities that could open up that next BIG opportunity for you!  Look for this to be released the first week of August! Here's what a few of the early listeners have said: "After listening to the recording, I felt all anxiety around my book melt away and was able to approach the page with neutrality and then curiosity and then positive excitement.  Pretty quickly I was actually being compulsive about writing---which is something I've always dreamed off.  Thanks Jimmy!" - Ann Pope "Just when it does not seem possible, Jimmy produces yet another stellar offering.  I had some sales calls to make and thought what needs to be more creative than a sales call?  The meditation was literally out of this world.  My body started vibrating shortly after the start of the program.  Jimmy has such a soothing voice that just instantly puts you into a calm hypnotic trance.  I just loved how I felt it was my higher self/soul being guided.  Tears rolled down my face at the end of the meditation...not crying..it was a knowing.  I received a profound idea for my sales calls immediately after the meditation which will truly be another great service to offer these potential clients. Thank you!" - Kathryn M.  

TGIWednesday Download

~ FREE OF STRUGGLE ~

I believe, think, know and feel that I am free of struggle now. I am ready, willing and able to be more positive in the here and now. I know, when, where, how and why to continually strive towards improvements and it is safe and comfortable for me to respond to opportunities.  I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is!

Monthly MySwitchWorks Event

Next Live Call is Wed. July 29th at 7:30pm EDT

We’re celebrating Independence Day all month long by FREEING you up from what’s holding you back!!!

Freedom from pain, stuckness, overwhelm, excess weight, uncertainty, procrastination, negative self-talk & beliefs, bad habits, past failures, your boss, a bad relationship, parents, siblings, abuse by others?

What are you ready to give up & become independent from? What’s been haunting you that you're ready to be done with? for good! Join us LIVE & submit your 3 issues by 3pm on day of event, July 29th.

Register Now - $22

(June) Restoring Inner Peace During Outer Chaos (May) Reinvigorating Your Work Life Switches (April) Moving Forward Switches (March) Luck Switches (Feb) Love & Romance Switches (Jan) Supercharge Abundance Switches (Dec) Abundance Switches (Sept) Youth & Vitality Switches Visit the shop for all replays and to play this brief audio if you've never heard Jimmy explain about switches. As one person on Facebook wrote when recommending to a friend: "These Zoom calls are an absolute "yawn fest" (in the very best sense ;) He works fast and furious with releases." 

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

  JULY 22nd "Today I will reach out and up into the ethers and access that which others felt were not possible.  Instead of focusing on obstacles, I will focus on solutions, benefits and the many blessing and favor that is upon me now and always."

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

Thurs. July 30th - Your Divine Uniqueness with host Moncef Akfir.  Join Spiritual Masters FREE For Live & Interactive Sessions, Plus Receive Instant Bonuses. Register Here

Thursday Sept. 23rd - The Global Gathering with host Dipal Shah. The Gathering is an online spiritual event in which multiple healers, lightworkers, catalysts and spiritual teachers come together as ONE to support humanity by anchoring love, light, joy, wellness and optimism.    Join Us and Watch Online! 

The Jimmy Mack Healing Radio Show

TUESDAY'S at 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT CALL IN ☎️  (206) 806-9965 https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions Please note as of August 1st all of the radio shows will be live video shows. You can watch on Facebook or YouTube links below:   https://m.facebook.com/GoldylocksProductions   https://www.youtube.com/c/GoldylocksProductions

Click Here for Previous Weeks' Show and a full archive of past guests & replays.

Yesterday's Show - Special Guest Jeremy Riden | Divine Spark Ministries https://www.facebook.com/JeremyRiden/

July 28th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page 

August 4th – Joanne Leo | Psychic https://psychicjoanneleo.com/

August 11th – Kevin Lee | Certified Spiritual Medium http://revkevinlee.com/about-kevin/

August 18th– Jeremy Riden | Divine Spark Ministries https://www.facebook.com/JeremyRiden/

August 25th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show is LIVE on Tuesday's at 4pm EDT  If you want to Listen in only, go to this website: https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions OR If you want to call in & ask a question CALL ☎️  (206) 806-9965 No need to press #1, just dial in and you'll be in the queue. If the Call in Number above doesn’t seem to work, please use this back up Call in Number: (425) 535-9149 when prompted, enter 206.806.9965 followed by #  International Callers, click the link below for the International call in list for your country.  If you're using the Free Conference Call App, it automatically re-routes the best call In number for you.  Please unblock your phone number if you wish to speak with Jimmy and or his guest host. Blocked, Restricted and Private Callers are not brought on air.

From the Fish Box

"Hey Jimmy! I started the prayer service again 9 days ago to help my dad, as I was telling you he had just returned home from the hospital after suffering from a 3rd recurrence of cellulitis in 4 years, plus congestive heart failure. But once he was back home, the cellulitis came back even worse with his legs breaking out in huge blisters which became very red and raw and continued to leak fluid. This was going on for days and it looked like he was heading right back to the hospital when I contacted you. No joke, the very next day after the prayer service started he began feeling better! Things improved VERY quickly (so much so that 4 days into the prayer service the nurse who does his therapy commented on how quickly things were turning around)! He continues to make more progress every day, too. Thanks so much Jimmy, I have no doubt at all that you and Spirit made all the difference here! Just like it did for my mom years ago when she broke her hip! Thanks, just thanks for everything buddy!" ~Kevin M.

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers. *NOTE if the MDP Service was purchased via a special telesummit or radio show offer, prayers will be limited to BUYER ONLY - and will not include family members or pets.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

 Tampa Office Sessions

FRIDAY AUGUST 14th at

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone��s NEW office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions from 10-4 on Friday August 14th.

NEW OFFICE LOCATION! 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS 

Friday sessions are back to being phone-only for folks that I usually see at Kodawari until further notice. You can book time with me in the shop and schedule online.   3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa ☎️ (813) 999-1874 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN MORE HERE

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library. 

Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with you immediate friends and family.

Abundance Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe COVID-19 Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Windfall Youth & Vitality

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​ ​​Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit (*Updated May 2019) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2020 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com  

Stay connected!

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

[365dailyaffirmations]

TGIWednesday ... are you caught up in destination addiction?

TGIWednesday News

We’ve all been caught up in this at one point... the thought or belief that your next car, next romance, next job, next place, next trip, next purchase or program will somehow “finally make me happy”.  It’s referred to as 'destination addiction'. Make every effort to be happy right where you are in the here and now and it will allow happy to find YOU.  Every day is a process where we’re thinking and overthinking about 90 percent of the same thoughts as we did the day before.  As much as I can, I simply stop “thinking” and move in a flow/cadence/rhythm to the next movement as if I was in a song.  As much as you can - just for today - STOP thinking about the past, be fully present in this moment and lean towards your future.  I know this can help/contribute to you and your life!!! We're putting the final touches on our newest audio mp3 release MyBeliefWorks™ for Inspiring and Igniting Your Creative Spark, aka 'The Creatives'. This is for those of you who are artists, musicians, performers, writers, intuitive healers and empaths and it can assist you in getting unstuck, releasing brain fog and getting your creative juices flowing again! This audio WILL raise your vibration and attract new opportunities that could open up that next BIG opportunity for you!  Look for this to be released the first week of August! Here's what a few of the early listeners have said: "After listening to the recording, I felt all anxiety around my book melt away and was able to approach the page with neutrality and then curiosity and then positive excitement.  Pretty quickly I was actually being compulsive about writing---which is something I've always dreamed off.  Thanks Jimmy!" - Ann Pope "Just when it does not seem possible, Jimmy produces yet another stellar offering.  I had some sales calls to make and thought what needs to be more creative than a sales call?  The meditation was literally out of this world.  My body started vibrating shortly after the start of the program.  Jimmy has such a soothing voice that just instantly puts you into a calm hypnotic trance.  I just loved how I felt it was my higher self/soul being guided.  Tears rolled down my face at the end of the meditation...not crying..it was a knowing.  I received a profound idea for my sales calls immediately after the meditation which will truly be another great service to offer these potential clients. Thank you!" - Kathryn M.  

TGIWednesday Download

~ FREE OF STRUGGLE ~

I believe, think, know and feel that I am free of struggle now. I am ready, willing and able to be more positive in the here and now. I know, when, where, how and why to continually strive towards improvements and it is safe and comfortable for me to respond to opportunities.  I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is!

Monthly MySwitchWorks Event

Next Live Call is Wed. July 29th at 7:30pm EDT

We’re celebrating Independence Day all month long by FREEING you up from what’s holding you back!!!

Freedom from pain, stuckness, overwhelm, excess weight, uncertainty, procrastination, negative self-talk & beliefs, bad habits, past failures, your boss, a bad relationship, parents, siblings, abuse by others?

What are you ready to give up & become independent from? What’s been haunting you that you're ready to be done with? for good! Join us LIVE & submit your 3 issues by 3pm on day of event, July 29th.

Register Now - $22

(June) Restoring Inner Peace During Outer Chaos (May) Reinvigorating Your Work Life Switches (April) Moving Forward Switches (March) Luck Switches (Feb) Love & Romance Switches (Jan) Supercharge Abundance Switches (Dec) Abundance Switches (Sept) Youth & Vitality Switches Visit the shop for all replays and to play this brief audio if you've never heard Jimmy explain about switches. As one person on Facebook wrote when recommending to a friend: "These Zoom calls are an absolute "yawn fest" (in the very best sense ;) He works fast and furious with releases." 

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

  JULY 22nd "Today I will reach out and up into the ethers and access that which others felt were not possible.  Instead of focusing on obstacles, I will focus on solutions, benefits and the many blessing and favor that is upon me now and always."

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

Thurs. July 30th - Your Divine Uniqueness with host Moncef Akfir.  Join Spiritual Masters FREE For Live & Interactive Sessions, Plus Receive Instant Bonuses. Register Here

Thursday Sept. 23rd - The Global Gathering with host Dipal Shah. The Gathering is an online spiritual event in which multiple healers, lightworkers, catalysts and spiritual teachers come together as ONE to support humanity by anchoring love, light, joy, wellness and optimism.    Join Us and Watch Online! 

The Jimmy Mack Healing Radio Show

TUESDAY'S at 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT CALL IN ☎️  (206) 806-9965 https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions Please note as of August 1st all of the radio shows will be live video shows. You can watch on Facebook or YouTube links below:   https://m.facebook.com/GoldylocksProductions   https://www.youtube.com/c/GoldylocksProductions

Click Here for Previous Weeks' Show and a full archive of past guests & replays.

Yesterday's Show - Special Guest Jeremy Riden | Divine Spark Ministries https://www.facebook.com/JeremyRiden/

July 28th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page 

August 4th – Joanne Leo | Psychic https://psychicjoanneleo.com/

August 11th – Kevin Lee | Certified Spiritual Medium http://revkevinlee.com/about-kevin/

August 18th– Jeremy Riden | Divine Spark Ministries https://www.facebook.com/JeremyRiden/

August 25th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show is LIVE on Tuesday's at 4pm EDT  If you want to Listen in only, go to this website: https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions OR If you want to call in & ask a question CALL ☎️  (206) 806-9965 No need to press #1, just dial in and you'll be in the queue. If the Call in Number above doesn’t seem to work, please use this back up Call in Number: (425) 535-9149 when prompted, enter 206.806.9965 followed by #  International Callers, click the link below for the International call in list for your country.  If you're using the Free Conference Call App, it automatically re-routes the best call In number for you.  Please unblock your phone number if you wish to speak with Jimmy and or his guest host. Blocked, Restricted and Private Callers are not brought on air.

From the Fish Box

"Hey Jimmy! I started the prayer service again 9 days ago to help my dad, as I was telling you he had just returned home from the hospital after suffering from a 3rd recurrence of cellulitis in 4 years, plus congestive heart failure. But once he was back home, the cellulitis came back even worse with his legs breaking out in huge blisters which became very red and raw and continued to leak fluid. This was going on for days and it looked like he was heading right back to the hospital when I contacted you. No joke, the very next day after the prayer service started he began feeling better! Things improved VERY quickly (so much so that 4 days into the prayer service the nurse who does his therapy commented on how quickly things were turning around)! He continues to make more progress every day, too. Thanks so much Jimmy, I have no doubt at all that you and Spirit made all the difference here! Just like it did for my mom years ago when she broke her hip! Thanks, just thanks for everything buddy!" ~Kevin M.

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers. *NOTE if the MDP Service was purchased via a special telesummit or radio show offer, prayers will be limited to BUYER ONLY - and will not include family members or pets.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

 Tampa Office Sessions

FRIDAY AUGUST 14th at

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s NEW office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions from 10-4 on Friday August 14th.

NEW OFFICE LOCATION! 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS 

Friday sessions are back to being phone-only for folks that I usually see at Kodawari until further notice. You can book time with me in the shop and schedule online.   3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa ☎️ (813) 999-1874 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN MORE HERE

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library. 

Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with you immediate friends and family.

Abundance Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe COVID-19 Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Windfall Youth & Vitality

TGIFunny

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Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​ ​​Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit (*Updated May 2019) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2020 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com  

Stay connected!

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

[advancedthetapractitioner]

TGIWednesday ... are you caught up in destination addiction?

TGIWednesday News

We’ve all been caught up in this at one point... the thought or belief that your next car, next romance, next job, next place, next trip, next purchase or program will somehow “finally make me happy”.  It’s referred to as 'destination addiction'. Make every effort to be happy right where you are in the here and now and it will allow happy to find YOU.  Every day is a process where we’re thinking and overthinking about 90 percent of the same thoughts as we did the day before.  As much as I can, I simply stop “thinking” and move in a flow/cadence/rhythm to the next movement as if I was in a song.  As much as you can - just for today - STOP thinking about the past, be fully present in this moment and lean towards your future.  I know this can help/contribute to you and your life!!! We're putting the final touches on our newest audio mp3 release MyBeliefWorks™ for Inspiring and Igniting Your Creative Spark, aka 'The Creatives'. This is for those of you who are artists, musicians, performers, writers, intuitive healers and empaths and it can assist you in getting unstuck, releasing brain fog and getting your creative juices flowing again! This audio WILL raise your vibration and attract new opportunities that could open up that next BIG opportunity for you!  Look for this to be released the first week of August! Here's what a few of the early listeners have said: "After listening to the recording, I felt all anxiety around my book melt away and was able to approach the page with neutrality and then curiosity and then positive excitement.  Pretty quickly I was actually being compulsive about writing---which is something I've always dreamed off.  Thanks Jimmy!" - Ann Pope "Just when it does not seem possible, Jimmy produces yet another stellar offering.  I had some sales calls to make and thought what needs to be more creative than a sales call?  The meditation was literally out of this world.  My body started vibrating shortly after the start of the program.  Jimmy has such a soothing voice that just instantly puts you into a calm hypnotic trance.  I just loved how I felt it was my higher self/soul being guided.  Tears rolled down my face at the end of the meditation...not crying..it was a knowing.  I received a profound idea for my sales calls immediately after the meditation which will truly be another great service to offer these potential clients. Thank you!" - Kathryn M.  

TGIWednesday Download

~ FREE OF STRUGGLE ~

I believe, think, know and feel that I am free of struggle now. I am ready, willing and able to be more positive in the here and now. I know, when, where, how and why to continually strive towards improvements and it is safe and comfortable for me to respond to opportunities.  I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is!

Monthly MySwitchWorks Event

Next Live Call is Wed. July 29th at 7:30pm EDT

We’re celebrating Independence Day all month long by FREEING you up from what’s holding you back!!!

Freedom from pain, stuckness, overwhelm, excess weight, uncertainty, procrastination, negative self-talk & beliefs, bad habits, past failures, your boss, a bad relationship, parents, siblings, abuse by others?

What are you ready to give up & become independent from? What’s been haunting you that you're ready to be done with? for good! Join us LIVE & submit your 3 issues by 3pm on day of event, July 29th.

Register Now - $22

(June) Restoring Inner Peace During Outer Chaos (May) Reinvigorating Your Work Life Switches (April) Moving Forward Switches (March) Luck Switches (Feb) Love & Romance Switches (Jan) Supercharge Abundance Switches (Dec) Abundance Switches (Sept) Youth & Vitality Switches Visit the shop for all replays and to play this brief audio if you've never heard Jimmy explain about switches. As one person on Facebook wrote when recommending to a friend: "These Zoom calls are an absolute "yawn fest" (in the very best sense ;) He works fast and furious with releases." 

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

  JULY 22nd "Today I will reach out and up into the ethers and access that which others felt were not possible.  Instead of focusing on obstacles, I will focus on solutions, benefits and the many blessing and favor that is upon me now and always."

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

Thurs. July 30th - Your Divine Uniqueness with host Moncef Akfir.  Join Spiritual Masters FREE For Live & Interactive Sessions, Plus Receive Instant Bonuses. Register Here

Thursday Sept. 23rd - The Global Gathering with host Dipal Shah. The Gathering is an online spiritual event in which multiple healers, lightworkers, catalysts and spiritual teachers come together as ONE to support humanity by anchoring love, light, joy, wellness and optimism.    Join Us and Watch Online! 

The Jimmy Mack Healing Radio Show

TUESDAY'S at 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT CALL IN ☎️  (206) 806-9965 https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions Please note as of August 1st all of the radio shows will be live video shows. You can watch on Facebook or YouTube links below:   https://m.facebook.com/GoldylocksProductions   https://www.youtube.com/c/GoldylocksProductions

Click Here for Previous Weeks' Show and a full archive of past guests & replays.

Yesterday's Show - Special Guest Jeremy Riden | Divine Spark Ministries https://www.facebook.com/JeremyRiden/

July 28th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page 

August 4th – Joanne Leo | Psychic https://psychicjoanneleo.com/

August 11th – Kevin Lee | Certified Spiritual Medium http://revkevinlee.com/about-kevin/

August 18th– Jeremy Riden | Divine Spark Ministries https://www.facebook.com/JeremyRiden/

August 25th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show is LIVE on Tuesday's at 4pm EDT  If you want to Listen in only, go to this website: https://www.freeconferencecall.com/wall/goldylocksproductions OR If you want to call in & ask a question CALL ☎️  (206) 806-9965 No need to press #1, just dial in and you'll be in the queue. If the Call in Number above doesn’t seem to work, please use this back up Call in Number: (425) 535-9149 when prompted, enter 206.806.9965 followed by #  International Callers, click the link below for the International call in list for your country.  If you're using the Free Conference Call App, it automatically re-routes the best call In number for you.  Please unblock your phone number if you wish to speak with Jimmy and or his guest host. Blocked, Restricted and Private Callers are not brought on air.

From the Fish Box

"Hey Jimmy! I started the prayer service again 9 days ago to help my dad, as I was telling you he had just returned home from the hospital after suffering from a 3rd recurrence of cellulitis in 4 years, plus congestive heart failure. But once he was back home, the cellulitis came back even worse with his legs breaking out in huge blisters which became very red and raw and continued to leak fluid. This was going on for days and it looked like he was heading right back to the hospital when I contacted you. No joke, the very next day after the prayer service started he began feeling better! Things improved VERY quickly (so much so that 4 days into the prayer service the nurse who does his therapy commented on how quickly things were turning around)! He continues to make more progress every day, too. Thanks so much Jimmy, I have no doubt at all that you and Spirit made all the difference here! Just like it did for my mom years ago when she broke her hip! Thanks, just thanks for everything buddy!" ~Kevin M.

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers. *NOTE if the MDP Service was purchased via a special telesummit or radio show offer, prayers will be limited to BUYER ONLY - and will not include family members or pets.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

 Tampa Office Sessions

FRIDAY AUGUST 14th at

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s NEW office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions from 10-4 on Friday August 14th.

NEW OFFICE LOCATION! 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS 

Friday sessions are back to being phone-only for folks that I usually see at Kodawari until further notice. You can book time with me in the shop and schedule online.   3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa ☎️ (813) 999-1874 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN MORE HERE

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library. 

Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with you immediate friends and family.

Abundance Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe COVID-19 Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Windfall Youth & Vitality

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​ ​​Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit (*Updated May 2019) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2020 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com  

Stay connected!

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA