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hahaifolded · 3 months ago

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Pay Back - John Price x POC!FemReader

Summary: After learning more about John's love life, you are determined in helping John make his ex jealous. Tags/Warnings: MDNI, Fake Relationship, Mutual Pining, Small Age Gap, Misunderstandings, Slight Angst, Cheating (not by Price or Reader), Suggestive Themes, Military Inaccuracies, Sexism, Microaggressions, Cursing, Attempted Assault, Mild Violence Word Count: 4740

“So Cap'n, how come you're not married yet?” asked Gaz before taking the last sip of his beer. After a grueling mission and what seemed like never endless meetings, Price decided to take the team out for drinks at the local bar. But now as the conversation steered towards his love life, Price was starting to regret his decision.

“Leave the man alone,” scolded Ghost.

“Why? It’s a fair question,” whined Soap. They all looked at Price, waiting for their captain’s reaction.

However, before John could say anything, you returned to the table with 5 beers in your hands. “This round is technically on the man in the suit but seeing that I had to talk to him, it’s on me,” you gleamed as you set the beers down in front of the boys. Smiling at them, you plopped next to Ghost, holding one beer in your hand. Gaz and Soap immediately reached for one as the lieutenant nudged you, almost in gratitude. John thanked you for the drink, eyes stuck at how close you sat next to Ghost.

You were the CIA liaison, handpicked by Laswell to work with the 141. Despite being hesitant at first, Price couldn’t be happier with your arrival as you brought a much needed balance to the taskforce. You immediately matched Soap’s and Gaz’s energy, eased yourself in Ghost’s reserved sphere, and made Price’s life so much easier.

But, at the same time you also complicated it as he found himself developing a small crush on you. Instead of acting on it, however, John maintained a level of professionalism with you. First of all, he was your direct superior. In additional, he couldn’t bring himself to rob you of your youth as you were closer to Ghost's age than the old man. And besides, he suspected that something was brewing between you and Ghost with how close you two were and he wasn’t going to get in the middle of that. No matter how he felt, he couldn’t have you.

“So, what are we talking about?” you asked. Ghost tried to change the topic but Gaz beat him to it.

“I was here asking the cap'n why he hasn’t gotten married yet. But your buddy here thought we were doing too much,” informed Gaz with mischief in his eyes. Soap let out a deep chuckle as Ghost let out a disappointed sigh.

“Oooh wait, I want to know the answer, because not to be weird, but you’re an absolute catch, Captain. I’m surprised you don’t have someone waiting for you back home,” you let out. Clearly, the alcohol was starting to affect your self control.

With all the attention on him, John took a swig from his beer for some instant courage. “It’s not like I haven’t wanted to. I just haven’t had the best of luck finding a woman after my fiancée left.”

“What!” you and the boys gasped in unison. Now Price was regretting this whole night. Letting out an exasperated breath, John shared his tragic story.

Of how he was engaged with his high school sweetheart, Anna. How Anna and him planned to get married after his first deployment. But, something went wrong and Price accidentally caused his lieutenant at the time to break his leg. Feeling guilty, he signed up Anna to take care of the man while John and the rest of the team finished the mission. And after a month out in the desert, John came back to find his lieutenant shagging his fiancée. Heartbroken, the now-SAS captain left and threw himself into his work. The last he heard of them was that they got married as they kindly sent him an invitation. Everyone stared at John, in disbelief at his story.

“That is horrible, Cap'n. I didn’t mean to pry. If I had known, I wouldn’t have asked,” apologized Gaz. Soap and Ghost seconded him. Price just sheepishly smiled, assuring them it was fine.

“IT’S NOT FINE!” you asserted as you slammed your beer on the table. Your eyes burned with anger. You immediately turned to the team and waved your arms. “We need to do something about this!” you incredulously announced.

“And I think you need to stop drinking,” said Ghost as he grabbed your beer.

“Back off,” you said as you pulled your beer away. “I say we call Laswell, borrow some nuclear codes, and blow them up!”

“Oh, she for sure needs to stop drinking,” joked Soap. Gaz and Ghost broke out in a deep laugh, amused by your suggestion. You looked at the men with wide eyes, unable to understand why they weren’t ready to start a riot. In all honesty, you couldn’t believe someone could do such a thing to their fiancée and teammate. As a victim of cheating yourself, your heart ached for John.

You turned your gaze to Price and reached for his hand. John felt his face burn as your fingers intertwined with his. You looked deeply into his eyes and shared, “John, I know we haven’t known each other for long, but just know that what Anna and your lieutenant did to you is absolutely unacceptable and if I could,” you paused to take in a deep breath. John couldn’t help but feel shy under your gaze. “I would get revenge for you… just say the word.” Ghost pulled you back, letting you know that was enough.

“Thank you, (Y/N),” admitted Price. As much as it hurt, John learned to live with the betrayal. It wasn’t the last time he would be betrayed so he tried not to dwell too much on it. Sure, it severely hurt his view on romance but he was a SAS soldier for Christ's sake, he didn’t necessarily have time for it either.

Soap immediately changed topics, opting to talk about his recent slew of dates and how each one was a dud. Price tried to pay attention to his sergeant’s antics but found himself glancing at you as you opted to scroll on your phone instead. Whatever you were looking for, you seemed determined.

After half an hour of Soap talking, you started to whisper in Ghost’s ear, shoving your phone in the lieutenant’s face. His eyes crinkled at the corners, a clear sign that he was amused by whatever you were showing him.

“What’s got you two so cozy over there?” asked Soap with a slight lilt in his voice.

“Nothing,” you sang. You looked up at Price. “Quick question, can Ghost and I get next weekend off to go to,” you paused to look at your phone, “Edinburgh?”

“Why?” His heart sank. Maybe you and Ghost were a lot closer than he thought.

Ghost laughed. “Seems like our little spy here found your old lieutenant and ex and wants to pay them a visit.”

“I just want to talk... promise.”

Soap and Gaz immediately grabbed your phone, curious to see the woman who broke their captain’s heart.

“That's her?!" shouted Gaz. He immediately stopped when Price shot him a glare.

“And who’s the man next to her? Her dad?” inquired Soap as Gaz handed him your phone. Price took a peak at it. His eyes widened.

“Nope, I think that’s my old lieutenant. Lt Murphy,” informed Price. He didn’t expect to see his old lieutenant look so sad. He remembered how the man used to exude strength and respect, something that John admired when he was younger. Now it looked like the years finally caught up to him.

“Well, whoever he is, he needs to make his Facebook likes private. It’s clear he has a type,” you added as you grabbed your phone. The man’s account made your skin crawl. You couldn’t believe that such a disgusting man was able to steal your boss’ fiancée right under his nose.

“So what do you say… can we get next weekend off?” you asked again, throwing out your best puppy dog eyes to Price. Your desire to defend your captain was making John feel so good but so wrong at the same time. Ghost was a lucky man.

“As much as I appreciate the sentiment, you and I have the ball next week,” informed Price. To his dismay, Price had been called to London to be this year’s distinguished guest at the annual military gala. John absolutely hated the event as instead of celebrating the real valiant efforts of soldiers like his men, it was a just a sad dick measuring contest between men who forgot what real bravery was. The only silver lining was his plus one, you.

“Oh fuck, you’re right,” you recalled. You grabbed Ghost by his arm and told him to hold off on the plan which made the masked man chuckle. Price gripped his beer a little tighter to refrain from lunging at his teammate. At least he had you to himself next weekend.

— — —

“I really can’t believe you forgot to pack deodorant,” you playfully scolded your captain. After checking in to the hotel, you and Price made a quick trip to the store.

“Well, we’re not all as sharp as you, love,” he quipped. Love. That got your heart beating. Despite the boys calling you love regularly, it only ever made your heart flutter when Price said it. You knew it wasn't right, but you yearned for the man next to you. No one knew but Ghost who quickly became your confidant. However, you knew that John wasn't interested as he always kept you at arm's length, forcing you to be content with just being his co-worker.

You and Price immediately split up once inside. Price made his way towards the men’s toiletries while you perused the surrounding area.

As you looked at some vitamins, you heard a woman shriek your captain’s name. You peered over and felt your eyes almost jump out of your head. In front of John Price was a blonde woman close to his age greeting him like he was an old friend. But she was nothing close to that as it was Anna, his cheating ex-fiancée. The audacity of that woman as she tried to catch up with John like it wasn’t her fault for why it’s been a “long time no see.”

Seeing your captain look so uncomfortable made you see red. You quickly grabbed a nearby product, switched your ring from one finger to another, and made your way to Price with a plan in mind

— — —

John never wanted to die more in his life. Anna, who was once the love of his life before she discarded him like trash, stood in front of him, trying to make the most awkward small talk ever.

“So John, how have you been?” she asked.

Before John could answer, he felt a smooth hand run around his waist, dropping something in his basket. His breath got stuck in his throat when he realized it was you. You pressed up against him, head on his shoulder. He turned his head to find your face a mere few inches away. You flashed him a wide smile, eyes shining with love and adoration.

“Found what we’re looking for, baby,” you said with a wink. John looked down to see that you had dropped a big box of condoms in his basket. His mouth salivated. You giggled as you grabbed on to his arm, completely attaching yourself to his side. He must be dreaming.

“Who’s this, John?” interrupted Anna. Despite having a smile on her face, her voice sounded tense, almost accusatory.

“This is (Y/N), my—“

“Fiancée,” you finished. You extended your hand out, showing off a ring on your fourth finger. You quickly pulled it back and placed a quick kiss on John’s cheek, further staking your claim on the man. John smiled back as he realized what you were doing. He found himself falling for you more.

“Oh wow, congrats! Can’t wait to get an invite,” quipped Anna. John felt your grip tighten around his arm.

You looked up at John, confusion written on your face. Turning back to Anna, you innocently asked, “I’m sorry, but who are you? I don’t think John’s told me about you.” John knew that hit a cord in his former fiancée as she always needed to be the center of attention.

Before Anna could say anything, a rough voice boomed from the back. “How many fucking times have I told you not to walk away while— John?” John’s day just had to get worse as Lt. Nick Murphy stood in front of him, next to his former fiancée, eyes wide at seeing Price.

“Wow, look at you, you’re all grown up now. Tell me what are you up to these days?” asked the man as he puffed out his chest. With you wrapped on his arm, John felt a burst of confidence surge through him. He straightened his posture and proudly shared his promotion to captain for special forces. John had to admit that it felt good to see his former lieutenant shrink a bit when he said that.

"Good for you, my boy. But I do have to ask, who's the cute thing wrapped around your arm?" he asked all smugly. John didn't like the way he looked at you. John instinctually grabbed your hand and proclaimed you as his fiancée.

"Who would have thought that John Price would have grown up to be a cradle robber?" joked the man. Price felt himself sink a little. Sure, you were slightly younger than the man, but he didn't think that the age gap was that obvious.

"Oh please, I had to practically beg the man to go on a date with me," you defended him with a giggle. Unable to read the room, Murphy continued to small talk and asked what brought you both here. You immediately jumped in and gushed about how your man was this year's distinguished guest at the gala. John liked the way you claimed him as yours. But unfortunately for the both of you, they too were here for the celebration.

"You know what, John? Why don't you and the girl come over for dinner tonight? We're renting an apartment in the city. Anna here can cook us some dinner and we can all catch up over some beers," announced Murphy.

"Fiancée," mumbled John. Pretend or not, he was proud to call you his. You tugged on his arm, similar to when an owner pulls on their dog's leash to stop them from lunging. You laid your head on his arm, waiting for John's response.

John was a good soldier and a decent captain, but when he accepted the invitation, he knew he wasn't a good man.

-- -- --

"Are you sure you're fine with this?" Price asked the millionth time as you reached the London apartment. Dressed in a cute sundress that accentuated all of the right parts, you fixed Price's collar, making sure that your fiancé looked the part.

"Yes, John." You rolled your eyes. "I don't think you realize how badly I want to see you win here," you said as you smoothed out the wrinkles on his shoulders. You had to admit, your captain looked good in a white button up. "And don't be scared to touch me, okay? We really have to sell this if we want to win." John laughed at your words which made your cheeks warm.

"Of course, love." There it was again. Walking hand in hand, you both walked to the door.

"Wait," you said. You unbuttoned the first few button's of John's shirt. "Show her what she missed out on." You couldn't help but feel pride at seeing Price's cheeks turned slightly red. Clearing his throat, John knocked. You immediately wrapped yourself around his arm and pressed a small kiss on his cheek at the door opened.

Anna opened the door and excitedly greeted John. The woman was not afraid to hide her distaste towards you as venom dripped in your greeting. Ushering you both in, you and John found Murphy sitting in the living room, beer in hand, lazily watching television.

"John, my boy! Take a seat. Dinner should be ready soon," he hollered. John took a seat on the recliner as he refused to sit on the couch next to his old lieutenant. Without shame, the old man patted the space next to him, calling you over. Your skin prickled as you recalled his type which you unfortunately fit perfectly.

Before you could deny his offer, John immediately pulled you in his lap. "No need. She already has the best seat in the house." He planted a loud kiss on your cheek. Fuck. You knew John was strong, but feeling him so close further proved the man he was. Feeling tonight's host scan your figure, you settled yourself further on your captain's lap.

"John, I made your favor-- oh. Well look at you, someone got comfortable," commented Anna as she walked in with a plate of sausage rolls. Unlike her husband, she glared at you. You just giggled to further get under her skin.

"Sure did," added John as he adjusted you on his lap. Quickly, Murphy and John engaged in some small talk over tonight's football game. John kept a gentle grasp on your waist, occasionally kissing you on the cheek whenever the conversation lulled. Despite being in the warm embrace of your captain, your blood ran cold whenever Murphy's eyes trailed over your body.

Eventually, Anna called you all over to the dining table as she finished cooking. Dinner started off quiet as the tension in the room became too obvious to ignore. Eventually, Murphy decided to speak up.

"So tell me, John, how did you meet this pretty thing?" You loathed this man.

John choked on his food, realizing that neither of you had settled on a backstory. You could sense your captain's hesitation. Grabbing the hand next to you, you decided to take the lead.

"I know it's kinda cliche but I was actually his assistant," you began. "I tried being professional, but the heart wants want it wants. You guys might understand." Feigning ignorance, you looked past the knowing looks in your hosts' eyes and turned your gaze to Price.

"He is literally everything that a woman could want... kind, strong, resilient... handsome. He turned me down at first as John is nothing but respectful, but now after 2 amazing years, we're set to get married in a few months." You kissed him on his lips to seal the deal.

Maybe it was too much, but if this was going to be the only time you could say he was yours, you were going to fully savor it. Besides it only secured the farce that you two had set up as Anna had a tight smile on her face and Murphy stared at John with clear jealousy in his eyes.

Anna cleared her throat in an attempt to ease her jealousy. "Well isn't that a cute story, right Nick?" Murphy just grunted in agreement. However, Anna was not going to let you have the last word as a smirk appeared on her face. "You know what John, I always imagined you settling down with a girl from back home... you know someone more of your caliber." Your chest tightened. You really couldn't believe the gall on this woman. Before you could respond, John stepped up.

"Funny, I also imagined settling down with someone different, but life has a funny way of working itself out," John said with food in mouth. He grabbed your hand and kissed it. Your heart melted. John really had your back both on the field and here. Anna's face turned red, maybe out of embarrassment or anger. You weren't sure.

-- -- --

Dinner continued with a few jabs here in there from tonight's host, but John could care less. Right now, he was just a man in love, engaged to a beautiful woman. Despite the circumstances and less than ideal dinner companions, John wanted to stay here as long as he could so he could still say you were his. However, his bladder had other thoughts.

Price was set on holding it in, opting to bounce his leg to ease the need. However, as observant as always, you gently laid your hand on his bouncing knee and asked Murphy where the bathroom was.

"Oh, the wife will show you. Anna!" he commanded. John threw you a sheepish smile with eyes asking if you would be fine. After you assured him with a small peck, John followed his ex-fiancée to the much needed bathroom.

Finally alone, John let himself loose. He felt his cheeks warm as he recalled every kiss and touch you two exchanged throughout the night. If the night goes on any longer, John would have no choice but completely claim you. Fuck whatever you and Ghost had. It would just be you and John Price, loving boyfriend, loyal fiancé, and eventually your devoted husband.

John washed those thoughts away as water ran through his hands. As much as he wanted you, he couldn't do that to his lieutenant. Ghost also deserved happiness and there it was incarnated as you. As he stepped out of the bathroom, he found himself suddenly being pushed back. Catching him off guard, Anna shoved him against the sink.

She cried out his name and shoved her face into his chest. "Can we please talk? I hate how things ended between us!" Price couldn't believe this woman.

"Fine, but get off of me," he ceded as he gently pushed her off. Anna wiped her nose and sniffled despite not having a single tear on her face. She took in a deep breath and pouted.

"I know what happened was wrong, but I think I was labeled the bad guy without having a chance to defend myself.”

"Well, I wouldn't call shagging my lieutenant while I'm away as heroic."

And instead of owning up to her mistake, Anna blamed it on John as 'he was gone all of the time.' As John heard the woman's excuses, he couldn't believe that he ever loved her. Now that you gave him a small taste of love, despite it being just a facade, he realized that what he and Anna had was nothing close to it.

Anna placed a hand on his chest, interrupting John from his thoughts. "And now seeing you here as a successful captain, I can't help but feel bad for..." Oh, maybe she was going to apologize after all. "...pushing you into the arms of that slag out there." What. "A man like you deserves a classy woman. So tell you what, I'll come back and we can pick up where we left off." What.

Any affection he possibly still harbored for this woman completely disintegrated. He got in her face. "You watch your mouth," he spat out. "(Y/N) is and will always be a better woman than you. You really think I would entertain the likes of you again when I have literal perfection by my side." Before Anna could rebuttal, a loud shriek followed by a resonant slap rung through the apartment.

John immediately rushed back to find Murphy hunched over, hand on his cheek, and you next to him with your dress slightly disheveled.

"You fucking bitch," roared Murphy, lifting his hand to strike you. John ran forward and pinned the man against the table, holding him down by his neck. His heart broke when he saw tears welling in your eyes.

John looked at you and asked, "What happened?" He tried softening his voice, but he couldn't completely mask his anger. He felt horrible. This was all his fault.

"The fucking cunt here seduced me, that’s what happened," responded Murphy through bates breath.

Further pushing him down, John spat out, "I wasn't talking you." He asked you again. With a wobble in your voice, you shared how Murphy made a move on you. Despite denying him, he grabbed you and tried kissing you. Left with no choice, you slapped him across the face.

"Don't act all innocent. You were literally begging for it all night," fought Murphy. John was in disbelief. Was this really the man he admired all those years ago? Of course it was. This was the same man that stole his fiancée. Ready to pummel his face, he looked back at you one more time and immediately calmed down. You looked so broken. Not wanting to further aggravate you, he steered away from violence... for now.

John lifted up the man and threw him towards his wife. "Honestly, you two are perfect for one another," he spat out, venom clear in his voice. “Two muppets that think way too highly of themselves when they have no reason to.”

He grabbed you by the hand and continued, “you two are nothing compared to (Y/N). I don't even come close but everyday I try to be a better man just for her unlike you two who seem to get worse with every day. Don’t you dare come tomorrow or I’ll promise I'll make both of your lives a living hell.” And with that, John made his way out with you in hand.

“Oh please, who do you think you are?,” accused Murphy, following closely behind.

You turned around. You had enough. With fire in your eyes, you decided to spit back. “He might not be able to do anything but I promise you, I can and will. I have access to enough information to destroy anyone's life, especially low-lifes like yours. So don’t you dare insinuate that either of us are beneath either of you. Because at the end of the day, John is a great man and I am the successful woman right by his side. I know my and John’s worth and trust me, neither of you come close.”

“You bitch!” snarled Murphy as he lunged for you. It seemed that he forgot that John was still an active soldier as the SAS captain immediately threw a punch in his face. Anna rushed to the man as blood gushed out his nose. With that, you and John stepped out of that disgusting apartment.

— — —

The ride home was quiet. The only sign that your captain was alive was the gentle hold that he had on your hand. Occasionally, his thumb would rub your hand but when you would squeeze back in recognition, he would stop. His face was blank. But you knew your captain. He was probably taking the blame for the entire night which was far from the truth.

The ride up the elevator was also quiet. You snapped when it seemed like the walk to the rooms was going to be quiet too.

“Okay John, what’s wrong?”

Silence.

“John, I’m not going to play this game with you. Tell me what’s wrong?”

Price stopped. He opened his mouth but immediately shut it, hesitant to speak

Placing a hand on his shoulder, you pleaded, “John, please, talk to me.” Your captain hung his head down and began to talk.

“I’m sorry for putting you in that situation. I should have known better. They disrespected you and I—.”

You interrupted him. “John, you weren’t the one who disrespected. If anything you defended me and made sure I was okay.” You cradled his face. “So stop blaming yourself for the actions of others, okay?” John grunted in agreement, eyes looking down.

“John,” you warned. He looked you in your eyes.

“Fine,” he grumbled out. You laughed at his boyish antics.

In no time, you both reached your rooms that were side by side. Once inside, John Price would no longer be your fiancé. Before you entered your room, you called for him one last time.

“I just want you to know that I meant every word today. You really are the greatest man I know,” you said with a smile. You wanted to say more, tell him everything, but you knew you couldn’t. This would have to do. With that, you wished him a goodnight and slipped inside.

— — —

John walked in his room with a heavy heart.

Despite your praise, John didn’t consider himself a good man. A good man doesn’t pine after another man’s woman. Ghost truly was a lucky man. John just had to make do with having you so close but so far.

Thanks for reading! — Folded’s Page Guide + Masterlist

Author’s Notes: First ever COD fanfic! Woot woot! I hope y'all enjoyed this. Let me know your thoughts! Imma be honest, everything I know about COD has been aquired through fanfic so if anything is wrong, oops. Also if this has been done before, please let me know as I genuinely didn't know.

Also super sorry for the lack of British/ Scottish accent in the characters. Literally have no clue on how to do it!

I'm still a pretty novice writer so advice and suggestions are always appreciated. I plan on writing more COD fics so if you're interested stick around.

#john price x reader #john price x y/n #john price x female reader #John price x poc!reader #John price x poc!fem reader #captain john price x reader #cod fanfic #john price fanfiction #cod x poc!reader #price x reader #call of duty fanfic

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peppermintquartz · 3 months ago

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"No, you beat the egg in with the rice-"

"No, you add the egg at the end, that's what Jamie Oliver said-"

Tommy takes the rice and eggs away from Evan and narrows his eyes at the man he loves. "Jamie Oliver doesn't know shit about egg fried rice."

Evan folds his arms and glares. "He's a professional chef."

"Who knows nothing about egg fried rice." Tommy points to the abomination in a jar on his table. "That 'chili jam' is proof."

They stare at each other, neither backing down. With a huff, Evan leaves the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" Tommy calls after him.

"I'm getting tacos!" Evan yells back. And then the front door slams shut.

It's a stupid fight, and they both know it's a stupid fight. But two big men with a lot of pride and a lot of stubbornness can drag a stupid fight out for a week, easily, especially if they also have mismatched shifts.

Eddie says he is on Evan's side, more out of loyalty than actual knowledge of how a good fried rice should be made. But Tommy and Eddie manage to meet at a boxing gym for a couple of hours on their matching day off (Evan requested an additional shift, just so he can keep giving Tommy the cold shoulder). As Tommy punches the heavy bags and rants, Eddie listens and makes "Mm hmm, yep" sounds that suggests that he's not really listening.

"Look, I make a decent mac and cheese. Anything more complicated than 'throw in a pot and stew the hell out of it' is not my forte," says Eddie. "And honestly, is this about the fried rice or something else?"

Tommy lets his arms go slack. He's breathing heavily and he wants to feel some physical pain, damn it. "I don't know. Come on, beat me up so I can get out of my head."

It's a stupid fight and he wants to make up for it, but it's hard trying to get time to see his boyfriend.

Tommy is coming off-shift, waiting at an intersection and sending his usual message to Evan to say that he's done for the day (yes they're fighting, but they're not going to forgo the regular mutual reassurances that they are safe) when an SUV screeches across the junction and crashes into the side of his vehicle.

He's slammed out from his seat, the seatbelt digging into his chest, and hears the crack of bone as his head makes contact with something hard. Just before he faints, he thinks, Shit, Evan's gonna blame himself.

"...mie Oliver, I'll never look at his cooking videos again I promise."

The words drift over Tommy. He blinks. His brain is too big for his skull. "Ev'n?"

"Tommy?"

Evan's blotchy face. Red-rimmed eyes, pale skin, stubble. Beautiful.

Tommy smiles. "Baby. S'ry." His mouth is dry. "Water?"

Straw. Sips.

"Sorry," Tommy says again. Ouch. Ribs. And he can't move his left hand. "Made you worry."

Smiling damply, Evan brushes Tommy's hair back from his forehead. "It's okay. Go to sleep, wake up better."

Tommy lets his eyelids close.

It's not about Jamie Oliver and his monstrosity of an egg fried rice. It's about Evan not wanting to try things Tommy's way sometimes. It's about Tommy not entirely willing to cede his territory to someone else, even if it's to someone he loves.

It won't be their last fight. But Tommy knows that their next one, he'll remember how it felt to think he was going to die and leave Evan before they made up. He'll remember that, and never let that happen again.

#tommy kinard #bucktommy #evan buckley #eddie diaz #tevan #kinley #in case it's not clear in the fic #i hate jamie oliver's egg fried rice #it is STUPID

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sanguinesky-if · 2 months ago

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Small Update About the Romance System

Hello! As promised, here's a post to inform you about some new clarifications and changes that I added to the original post about the romance system.

List of changes:

▸ The "Romance Progression" section has been revised. ▸ A new section "The ROs' Scenes" has been added. ▸ The "Jealousy" section has been expanded. ▸ A minor clarification has been made regarding the "Established Rivalries" dynamic.

All changes are detailed below, so you don't have to read the original post again.

▸ Romance Progression:

In Chapters 1 and 2 [before you meet all the ROs], you can flirt with everyone, as these chapters serve as introductions to all the ROs and will impact jealousy moments later on. Starting from Chapter 2 [after all the ROs have been introduced]: ▸ You will encounter moments of jealousy from the ROs [depending on the romance points you've gained and your dynamic with the interacting RO], and [optionally] from the MC. ▸ The game will require you to make a choice between the ROs, with each choice triggering a unique scene with the selected RO. The final choice [locking the RO's route] will likely occur at the end of Chapter 5. [If this changes, I'll update this post and let you know.] This decision will depend on the choices made between and during the ROs' scenes.

▸ The ROs' Scenes:

When you encounter a choice between the ROs' scenes: ▸ Choosing a particular RO's scene automatically implies that the MC is interested in what is happening or could happen between them and the selected RO. ▸ It is recommended to focus on just one RO to avoid missing important content that will affect future scenes with them. Important note: Scenes with the ROs are only available if they match your MC's preferences and are not blocked by a special choice labeled [block]. Important aspects that can alter the ROs' scenes: ▸ Previous choices [main story elements; previously chosen RO's scenes]. ▸ Romance points with the chosen RO [to enhance attraction in the narrative]. ▸ Romance points with the other ROs [for jealousy moments]. ▸ Bold / Shy / Other Dynamics [for the MC's and ROs' initiative and jealousy moments]. Important note: All the ROs' scenes imply romantic interest and serve to advance the relationship based on mutual attraction or tension between the MC and the chosen RO. This means: ▸ The narrative will reflect subtle attraction even if you don't select flirt options. ▸ It's impossible to play as an oblivious MC [except for L's 'Oblivious' dynamic, which must either develop or be canceled before locking the route]. [To learn more about L's 'Oblivious' dynamic, please check the original post.]

▸ Jealousy:

Jealousy is a secondary mechanic that unlocks additional changes in the narrative on top of those already established in the standard dynamics. All the ROs are capable of experiencing jealousy, but each shows it in their own way, even if it's challenging for them or not portrayed obviously. In the game, jealousy can be triggered in two specific ways: optional and conditional. Optional Jealousy: ▸ When only one option among the suggested choices is marked [♥], this choice will trigger a jealousy moment [from the RO or the MC, depending on the context]. ▸ Optional jealousy depends on the Bold / Shy stat [the narrative will change based on which stat is higher]. Conditional Jealousy: Certain jealousy moments and special scenes require specific conditions to be activated, such as: ▸ The amount of romance points gained with the other ROs. ▸ Previous choices [established relationships with secondary rivals; scenes with previously chosen ROs]. Important note: All ROs will display jealousy mostly when interacting with the MC [before and after choosing their route], and only occasionally with other ROs after choosing their route [unless you've activated 'Established Rivalries' dynamic]. [To learn more about 'Established Rivalries' and 'Secondary Rivals' dynamics, please check the original post.]

▸ Established Rivalries [a minor clarification]:

Before: This is not a love triangle but an open conflict of interest involving the MC. After: This is not a love triangle route but rather an open conflict of interest involving the MC. Reason: This revision provides slight clarification, as I believe the dynamic fits the description of a love triangle only until the route with one of the involved ROs is locked.

I realize that some clarifications may be disappointing, particularly regarding the "oblivious MC" aspect.

Still, this approach will allow readers to see the ROs' interest in the MC and the moments of attraction between them without the need to select flirt options.

And, if I'm being honest, I want to write the MC who knows what they are doing, because, in my opinion, relationship progression is the work of both characters, not just one.

Thank you for reading to the end! ♥

#interactive fiction #sanguine sky #sanguine sky if #ss general #ss technical

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narutouzumakiarchive · 6 months ago

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what are your thoughts on the “kishi based off naruto and sasuke off him and his brother so it’s weird and morally wrong to ship sasunaru.” IMO I’m like…you know what else is weird? kishi making the two characters that are supposedly based of him and his brother kiss accidentally and not only did they accidentally kiss but that scene is replayed multiple times in the manga and anime. So yeah…

Well I many thoughts.

For starters, the interview in question (and I'm still not sure of the source) states that the bond between Kishimoto and Seishi, his brother, was based on the aspect of feeling mutual pain.

Now let's look at another interview, from Kishimoto the lying liar. In it he states that his wife might secretly realize that Hinata isn't the real model for his wife because his wife is quite strong, which the interviewer noted was kind of like Sakura. Isn't that interesting.

In this interview he also implicitly acknowledges the implicit similarity between Sakura and his wife based on the particular aspect of strength. And yet, sasusaku's wouldn't use this interview as an indication that Sakura was in a romantic relationship with Naruto. Nor would they claim that Kishimoto (who frequently acknowledged that Naruto was a reflection of him) was writing a manga in which his wife (Sakura) was romantically in love with the analogue of his brother (Sasuke) Why?

Because while fiction is a reflection of life, it is in no way an exact representation of life. People in real life are complex multi dimensional beings and have complex and multi dimensional relationships; in other words, people and relationships have dimensions and depth that extend beyond one singular aspect, especially characteristics that are as common and generic as strength, and shared feelings of pain. Thus, Naruto and Sasuke, who also have additional depth in their bond beyond feelings of shared pain (let me know when brothers have feelings of uncertainty regarding the nature of their relationship btw) aren't a perfect analogue of Seishi and Kishimoto.

But I also want to note that they never extend this logic to the reverse. For example, Naruto and Sasuke are explicitly likened to Izanagi and Izanami, who in the Japanese mythos Kishimoto drew inspiration from, on the basis of perfect complementarity, were married. Surely, according to their logic, since basing the fictional dynamic between Naruto and Sasuke of of one aspect of the dynamic between two Gods who were married means that Naruto and Sasuke had romantic feelings for eachother, right? And yet something tells me those hypocrites who are triggered by Naruto and Sasuke would disagree. Because even they can intuit that fictional depictions don't necessarily have a perfect 1 to 1 relationship with the things they derive inspiration from.

But, additionally I need to add that Kishimoto could say that Naruto and Sasuke are the most brotherly of brothers and that it would be a crime to ship them — he could even have them end the series affirming they were like brothers — and it still wouldn't matter for two reasons.

One, intent does not equal impact. It would not matter if Kishimoto intended for Naruto and Sasuke to have a brotherly dynamic if what we were shown in the text is NOT a brotherly dynamic. People put a lot of stock in information from interviews, but while that paratext can help enhance our understanding of the text, ultimately, it is seperate from the text and the text is king — in other words, the purpose of a system (in this case, the Naruto text) is what it does.

But let me talk about a funny example first before I discuss Naruto and Sasuke. In 2009, Folgers Coffee released an infamous commercial that made the relationship between a brother and sister take center stage.

youtube

Now I suggest you watch the video for yourself, but for people who want the TLDR: It received a ton attention and backlash as a result of the very obvious incestuous undertones.

Now the video was obviously meant to depict the dynamic between a normal brother and sister. I mean, taboo themes in a commercial for a brand that has consistently utilized rhetorical appeals to wholesome conservative family values makes for bad business. And yet, despite the commercial making it obvious that the main characters in the ad were brother and sister by having them explicitly indicate as much, that line didn't do much the quell the underlying tension that viewers picked up on when watching the coy flirtation and intense gazes.

Which brings me back to Naruto and Sasuke. Most people that interact with media do so casually. Many are looking for simple minded entertainment. They aren't going to comb through the internet to look for cherry picked interviews to discern the nature of Naruto and Sasuke's relationship. They'll simply look at what's presented in the narrative to do so, and what the narrative presents is that of an overwhelmingly romantic dynamic between Naruto and Sasuke.

Romance is a "social structure that's biologically potentiated." This will receive more elaboration in another post, but at its core much of what we consider to be romantic has been shaped by shared socioculturally produced conventions (that can be specific to particular cultures/societies or more globalized). And when it comes to determining what is romantic in a narrative, the shared conventions and expectations are further mediated by the values that the text promotes.

People who interact casually with Naruto won't see Kishimoto's interviews, but they will see things like...

The classic romantic kiss/almost kiss intimate moment in the rain

Sakura stating that all she wants from Sasuke is acknowledgement in an explicitly romantic context (which is an example of a convention/ideal being promoted in the text as romantic), Naruto internally identifying with Sakura in this regard, and Sasuke giving Naruto the acknowledgement that he wants but not Sakura

Naruto getting tingles in his lower parts when thinking of said acknowledgement from Sasuke

Sasuke thinking about his kiss with Naruto and Naruto's dream during what he believed to be his final moments, and indicating it was one of the many reasons why his body decided to move on its own to save Naruto, a moment that was explicitly paralleled with Haku's sacrifice for Zabuza's dream a mere few chapters later, the same Haku that was implied to have subtextually romantic feelings for Zabuza [and a quick interjection, acknowledgement of what is presented in the text does not equal promotion. Moral critiques are important and just as valid as more stylistic analyses BUT they are distinct things. "Haku was never implied to have feelings for Zabuza because that's gross" is not a meaningful analysis]

Naruto making a proposal that significantly resembles the structure of shinju (double suicide), (a concept that has great significance in Japanese and Western popular culture, hello shared cultural conventions, hello Chikamatsu Monzaemon, hello Romeo and Juliet) a concept that was invoked by Omoi at the beginning of the volume that Naruto's proposal was in. This concept is promoted as a romantic value in the text via Omoi, and of course, is accords with popular sociocultural understandings of what we know to be Romantic.

And make no mistake, Kishimoto was intimately aware of the history of the romantic convention he drew from.

Naruto being Sasuke's tether to humanity in the same way that Rin was Obito's tether to humanity as well as Naruto being visually framed in Sasuke's memory in the exact same way that Rin was framed in Obito's memories in back-to-back chapters.

And there's more, but there's no need to continue because even just these moments highlight how far beyond the het dynamics Naruto and Sasuke are in terms of mutual, romantic implications. Naruto and Sasuke's dynamic is shown as romantic which it why it wouldn't even matter if Naruto and Sasuke weren't intended to be romantic.

Now, the second reason why it wouldn't matter if Naruto and Sasuke were intended to be non romantic brothers is that.... they aren't brothers. Like the most surefire way to make a bond be brotherly is to make the characters related. [And not have their first pivotal interaction be a classic "accidental kiss" ship bait moment that was iconic enough to be recycled by their kids who are now love interests.] And further, the trope of two people (gay people in particular) who aren't siblings but have a unique, powerful and intimate bond that's metaphorized and/or euphemized as sibling-like doesn't inherently negate romance.

But let me provide an example. There's a show called Breaking Bad, centered on a man who ostensibly turns to a life of crime in order to protect his family, but he's not important here. In the show, we're provided with the backstory of the primary antagonist in Season 4, Gus Fring. And the viewer gets to see that the reason Gus decided to devote his life to getting revenge on the cartel was because the loss of someone that was particularly close and precious to him, a man named Hector.

Within Gus' backstory, there's really only one scene of note that implies the two are gay. When a previous antagonist named Hector crudely pees into the pool, in the presence of Gus and Max, and is chastised by a fellow associate, Hector remarks that the two men won't say anything because they like what they see and makes suggestive kissing noises at them.

But there's something interesting about the way Max describes the relationship between himself and Gus. He explicitly states that he knows Gustavo like a brother. Hell, the name of the business that he planned to start alongside Gus was called Los Pollos Hermanos (translated in the show as The Chicken Brother's) and even the episode in which their story is expounded upon is named "Hermanos." And yet, many viewers picked up on the romantic subtext between Max and Gus, subtext that the showrunner confirmed was intentional. In the viewers minds, the subtext wasn't wholly negated because they knew eachother like brothers.

And that's because, the metaphor of the sibling, is often merely utilized to invoke desirable traits of idealized siblinghood (like friendship and trust) while setting aside the biological limitations of actual sibling bonds. Hence, in Japanese and Western media, this invocation of the sibling-like bond often occurred (and still does) in tandem with romantic subtext, and this is especially common in gay narratives when characters are trying to understand the nature of their feelings.

But this is a nuance that is lost by people that only chronically consume battle shonen. If you showed them the scene of Max talking about his dynamic with Gus they'd decry the people who dared to call it gay and make some fake deep statement about how people want to undermine pure brotherly bonds by making everything romantic. Because only in the Naruto fandom will people complain about you bringing up the fact that maybe it's gay to think about a kiss when you're about to die or to feel special butterflies when you're acknowledged by your rival. They'd combust if you tried to explain that idealized characteristics present in particular relational categories (like friendship and brotherhood) can overlap.

And if you go back to the interview, in which feelings of intensely shared pain are regarded as brotherly, you'll see that Kishimoto notes just that. He states that feelings of brotherly love and friendship are the same exact thing. Which means that in the period when Sasuke considered Sakura a nakama, something that obviously ended after he left the village, according to the very same interview that narusasu antis foolishly claim debunks our ship, it would mean that Sasuke also had fraternal feelings for Sakura as he did for the rest of Team 7 and thus was morally wrong. But you can't expect logic from het shippers.

Which brings me to my final set of points. I've already reached the 30 image limit so I can't post more images on this post (and will probably save it for another ask) but my post this far has only adressed the demographic that genuinely believes in the narusasu are like brothers argument. But, you need to understand that a significant portion of the people that push that argument don't even believe in it themselves, and I'm not joking. Search any narusakusasu account or popular "poly Team 7" art post and I can guarantee that at least 7 out 10 times, if you click on the profile of a someone with a cherry blossom and tomato emoji pair and search "incest" or "brother" on their account, you'll find a post of them speaking negatively about narusasu. It's almost funny how consistently it turns out to be true, but again, I'll address that in another post (along with the behavior of naruhina's because they tend to use different argument against sns). The point is that their issue with narusasu has never been about "moral wrongness" but about the fact that Sakura (and Hinata in the case of SasuHinaNaru's) isn't involved in their dynamic.

In fact, many Sakura stans are multiSaku's that have no problem shipping her with every man that ever breathed in her vicinity (Madara, Sasori, Itachi, Kakashi, etc.) and even the ones that didn't (Shisui).. I mean they're even publishing reworked fanfiction, [see this ItaSaku novel]. And yet they only bat an eye at Naruto and Sasuke. That's why ultimately, you shouldn't take them seriously, because they aren't looking to engage with you in good faith. They just want to undermine narusasu while stealing our tropes for their ship.

But since the word of Kishimoto is law to them, just bring up any one of the interviews in which Kishimoto's mocked Hinata, Sakura NH and SS, like him calling Sakura detestable, or his reaction to someone liking Hinata being "so you like girls with big boobs," or him initially agreeing that SS and NH were unrequited, or him stating he didn't know if Sasuke and Sakura would last, or him stating that Hinata isn't a regular heroine that stands at the main character's side but the type that watches him from the shadows (when her entire goal during the manga was to stand by Naruto's side), him laughing at an interviewer that stated Sasuke dealt with Sakura by leaving, or Kishimoto stating that he didnt have any devotion to the love story between Naruto and Hinata and he didnt plan to write it until Studio Pierrot suggested it, or Kishimoto stating that he avoided writing the reason for Sakura's love because it would sound too contrived, or — well, you get the point.

#sns #narusasu #sasunaru #anti hinata #anti nh #anti naruhina #anti sakura #anti ss #anti sasusaku #asks

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the-californicationist · 9 months ago

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Good Fences (Fluffuary #13)

FEB13: Night Out

“Did she book out the whole place, then?” John asked, pulling his pearl buttons through their starched holes as he dressed into his shirt.

“Yep, very fancy,” you told him, fixing his tie and feeling the silk slip through your manicured fingers.

Your best friend, Cana, had just graduated from her master’s program, and she had invited you to her graduation party. When you mentioned that you were housing three additional British soldiers, she had extended the invitation to include them most enthusiastically.

The boys had dressed up nice. Cana had indeed booked out an entire rooftop bar, and as a woman who liked to party, she was really pulling out all the stops tonight.

She was dressed all in black, surrounded by her classmates and a few of your mutual friends, but when she saw you coming through the doors with your literal army squad, she made a bee-line straight for you. Her bejeweled arms were spread wide, her perfectly set curls bounced as she ran, flinging herself into your arms and squealing her hellos.

“Cana!” You laughed, holding her as she spun around you with glee, “Congratulations! I’m so proud of you.”

“Goddamn, babe. Me too,” she huffed, exasperated and sarcastically funny.

You watched her roll her eyes and smile,

“Thank fuck grad school is done. Now, introduce me! You brought dinner, I see.”

“Oh, God, Cana. You can’t say that!” You protested.

But, Kyle heard her comment and brushed you aside, reaching for her hand and taking it in his,

“Let the woman speak, babes. She looks hungry.”

Cana giggled, high pitched and joyful, letting Kyle lead her back to her table. You looked at John and mouthed an apology.

“Dinnae fash, bonnie. Gaz is in his own version of heaven,” Johnny chuckled, “He never could turn down a curvy lass.”

“She’s a wild one, but I love her,” you explained, trying to dismiss your friend’s audacious behavior.

“She’s grand, love. Let me buy you a drink,” John wrapped his hand around your waist and pulled you in to his body. His soft clothes crumpled against your side, and you noticed John’s palm sliding lower and lower down your back.

“Speaking of blokes in heaven,” Simon quipped, taking a long drag from his cigarette. He cast a long gaze at his captain, and you thought you saw the hint of a smirk on his lips.

“Aye,” John puffed up a little, defensively, “And what of it?”

“Heaven looks good on you, Cap’n,” Johnny clapped him on the shoulder and pointed to the bar, “You were sayin’ somethin’ about a wee drink?”

You talked and drank and laughed all night with John and his friends. Cana couldn’t keep her hands off of Kyle, and he seemed to be loving every moment of it. By the end of the evening, your feet were aching, but you had heard story after story of John being the hero and even more stories of him being the victim of his men’s pranks. They seemed to have an incredible bond together that made you admire John even more.

“Are you havin’ fun tonight, love?” John asked, whispering in your ear, letting the whiskers of his beard tickle your neck and sensitive lobe as he did.

You turned your head to him, smiling, whispering just as low,

“Yes, I am. But, I can’t stop staring at you in that suit.”

“And you in that dress. Mmm…” John ran a long finger up your thigh, pushing the dress’s hem higher and higher until it was truly scandalous.

“Maybe you should take me home,” you suggested, your eyes full of lust, “So, you can take it off.”

“Grab your purse. Now.”

Check out the schedule here.

AO3 Link

#the californicationist does fluff #fluffuary 2024 #fluffuary #john price fluff #john price #captain john price #captain price #john price x reader #john price x you #captain price x reader #captain price x you #captain john price x reader #captain john price x you #cod #cod fanfiction #call of duty #call of duty fanfiction #cod mw2 #cod mwii

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findmeinthefallair · 11 months ago

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Masterpost of My Hunter Metas

Here's the list, up and running right before the year ends!

All drawing upon lived experience combined with past experience and knowledge from training and working as a therapist.

These should be in my "reblogging for World Mental Health Day" tag too.

Hunter Takes A Big Risk in "Labyrinth Runners" (and It Pays Off)

The significance of Hunter expressing a clear, resounding "No"

A Look at Hunter’s Complex PTSD (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)

Big "T" and Small "t" Trauma

Colour Theory Ramblings #1

Colour Theory Ramblings #2

Therapist Analysis of Hunter’s Mental Health in "For the Future"

Who the Kids Are at Their Core, Beyond Their Good Deeds

Memories and Traumatic Grief

Palismen, Connection and Integrating Grief into A New Life

The Onscreen "I Wish You Were Here" vs. The Offscreen "I Hurt You"

Hunter’s Possession Scenes and the Theme of Enmeshment

Retraumatization vs. Self-Soothing (Part 1) (Part 2)

Hunter's Body Language

An Uncommonly Discussed Trauma Symptom

Outfit and Hairstyle Changes in Hunter's Character Design

Bonus Rambling About His Hairstyles

Hunter's Experiences After Belos's Death

(Addition re: Grimwalker Graveyard)

(Addition re: A Fear of Touching Palismen and Interacting with Palismen After Flapjack's Death)

(Addition re: Early Days of Palisman-Carving)

Separate Meta About Luz's Behaviour in "Reaching Out": A Parallel to the Start of Hunter's Recovery After Belos's Death

Luz and Hunter's Shared Trauma After Placing Trust in Belos

Watching and Dreaming: Luz, King and Hunter Experiencing the Loss of Their Father Figures

The Confusion of Looking Back on the 'Love' Shown by Belos

The Hand Motif in Hunter's Character Arc

Hunter's Character Arc: A Hopeful Narrative a.k.a. my infodump about cinematography

Hunter Emotionally Shutting Down in "Labyrinth Runners" and "For the Future"

Left Alone (with Palismen)

(Added on 4/22/24) Parallels with Trauma Recovery in Legend of Korra

(Added on 10/31/24) Add-On about the Sympathetic and Parasympathetic Nervous Systems (While I Ramble About My Personal Favourite Hunter Outfit

Any further edits or updates shall be added to this original post instead of via reblogs. I'll make sure to show which dates the edits were made on. It's likely I'll put a few up over time as I read more mental health books/publications which could lead to more light bulb moments!

Oh, this son of mine...

What a beautiful story his life tells us.

After the upcoming new year celebration, I'll put them on Ao3 as well as per a mutual's suggestion (thanks for suggesting! <3).

Stay weird! I wish y'all a good 2024 and beyond! 🦉🏠🐦🧙🏻‍♀️🔮🧹

#loz's metas #toh analysis #toh hunter #the owl house #masterpost #hunter masterpost

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feudalconnection · 3 months ago

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Get Ready...!!

It's the start of the 3rd Term 2024 Inuyasha Fandom Awards!

We hope everyone has had a good start to the year! A huge shout-out to everyone who participated last term and made it such a huge success! We look forward to all of the amazing new fanfiction and fanart to be shared with this beautiful community! (If you have not received your award banner for last term, please reach out to one of the mods asap!)

At the end of last term, the voting form also included the possibilities of the Roulette Categories for this term, and we have taken the top choices for both Fanart and Fanfiction:

The Fanfiction Roulette Category for this term will be Best Friendship Portrayal. This is defined as: A story that has a primary relationship between two characters that have qualities of trust and intimacy. Revolves around a strong bond and mutual affection.

The Fanart Roulette Category for this term will be Best Improved Artist. This is defined as: Two illustrations of the same artwork that showcase the improvement an artist has made. The most recent image of the set should be posted within the last three years, and it must be a redraw of one of the artist's older works.

In addition, we added a Roulette Romance category for both Fanfiction and Fanart. This term the pairing chosen will be Best MirSan Romance (Miroku x Sango). This will be a category for both Fanart and Fanfiction.

For Fanfiction, it will be defined as: Stories that have developed a believable romance between Miroku and Sango. "Believable" is subjective, and it is up to those nominating/voting to draw their own line on that quantifier and vote their "Best". This includes canon universe and AU/AR settings.

For Fanart, it will be defined as: Any romantic depiction of Miroku and Sango.

The original Best Romance categories will remain, so all non-InuKag or MirSan pairings, including LGBTQ+, can be nominated into that category. All other pairings will be up for voting again next term.

If it wasn't mentioned above, chances are it hasn't changed. Please be aware that the moderators always take suggestions regarding how the awards are run and category changes into consideration, and each new term may bring about new changes. You can read up on the most recent FAQs, Rules of Eligibility, and Categories for more information [these links are only available on desktop].

For ease of access on mobile, the FAQs, Rules of Eligibility, and Categories can be accessed through this link.

As nominators, please make sure that each term you take a peek at our list of creators who can’t be nominated to make sure you are staying current with who is eligible to be nominated.

Here you can find the mobile-friendly link for all current nominations for this term.

The 3rd Term 2024 nomination period will begin on September 1st and go until the end of the day September 15th. Please send your nominations in through the submit button! If you have any other questions or concerns, please don't hesitate to send in an ask or reach out to one of the mods! We are also frequently available on the FC Discord!

Mods: @classysassy9791, @ruddcatha, @dchelyst, @the-lone-huntress

Please reblog to spread the word of the start of the new term!

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inevitably-johnlocked · 2 months ago

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Hi there fandom friend! (I hope I may call you that?) Your blog is amazing! Thank you for this wonderful little space. I have a very specific fanfic question. And please ignore if it feels too personal, BUT - what is THE fic that made you really and properly cry? Or maybe top 5? (Doesn’t necessarily need to be tragic or sad - just emotionally…evocative maybe?)

Perhaps your followers might want to chime in, too? The more recs, the merrier! I know this is a super duper subjective criteria but I would love to get some recommendations. I am in dire need of some emotional catharsis. :-) Thank you❤️

Hey Nonny!!!

You ABSOLUTELY can call me your friend! I am so lonely LOL

OH gosh, I actually have a whole LIST of fics that Made Me Cry that you can check out! I don't have enough new additions for a new list, but here are the ones currently on Part 2:

The Skin Over My Heart by standbygo (E, 8,849 w., 1 Ch. || Post-Hiatus, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, Dog Tags, Military, Homophobia, Gay Bashing, POV First Person Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Declarations of Love, Undercover, Haircuts, Flashbacks, Touching, Pining Sherlock, Hospitalization, Metaphors, Introspection, Hand Jobs, On the Couch, John’s Past, Angst with Happy Ending) – Sherlock and John are still trying to adjust to Sherlock's return from his hiatus when John's friend Bill Murray brings them a case. Someone is targeting the LGBTQA+ members of Bill's unit. John and Sherlock go undercover at the unit, but when they end up having to flirt to flush out the suspect, Sherlock realizes he's in over his head.

Spare Parts by Raina_at (E, 63,497 w., 10 Ch. || 24th Century / Futurism AU || Post TRF, Pre-TRF Relationship, Case Fic, Mutual Pining, Estrangement, Reconciliation, Science Fiction, Reunion, Nightmares, Angry John, Cybernetic John, Emotional Discussions / Heart to Heart, POV John, Scars, Past Drug Use, Forehead Touching, Emotional Lovemaking, Kissing, Apologies, Kidnapping, Rescue Mission, BAMF John, Bed Sharing, Top Sherlock) – Two years ago, Sherlock Holmes jumped off the roof of New London Hospital. Two months ago, he walked into John's clinic as if no time had passed at all. John hasn't seen him since. But then Sherlock knocks on John's door with a case he can't say no to, and while figuring out why the biggest manufacturer or synthetic limbs in the System is going after veterans, they also need to find out whether there's a way to fix what's broken between them. Part 1 of Realigning Gravity

Bakers with Benefits by Raina_at (E, 88,130 w., 14 Ch. || Great British Bake Off AU || Strangers to Lovers, Switchlock, Friends with Benefits, Mentions of Alcoholism / Past Drug Use, Banter, Flirting, Fluff, Light Angst, Semi-Public Sex, Past Sherlock/Victor, Mutual Pining, POV Sherlock, Obsessive Sherlock, John’s Bum) – Sherlock Holmes has a successful YouTube baking channel, but what he really wants is his own bakery. When an old friend sends him a call for the very first Great British Bake Off, he seizes the opportunity to finally win a sponsor for his bakery. Here's the plan: Win Bake Off, get the bakery, don't fall in love with the handsome Army doctor at the neighbouring station. Easy.

=====

But yeah, please check out the original list rather than me having to pick only five!!!!!

And as Nonny suggest, you guys PLEASE share your fics that made you cry!!!! I WOULD LOVE IT!!!

Hope these please you, Nonny!!

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #made me cry fics #my fic recs

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offtorivendell · 29 days ago

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I just recently finished the actors series and I was reading up on the mating bonds and I came across your post about Lucien and Elain’s mating bond from a few years ago and how it potentially could be wrong from the cauldron and I find it super interesting and have seen multiple theories on it! I do think that Azriel might be right and the cauldron made a mistake but that leads me to think about Nesta/Cassian so I was hoping you could help me understand their mating bond! Could this not be considered the same for them? Is their bond not considered made by the Cauldron when Nesta was thrown in as well or how does their bond differ from Elain/Luciens? I could be overlooking but the info on the bonds is also hard for me to wrap my head around 😂

Hi and thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read my nonsense!

I assume you are talking about this post from May 2021 - "What if the Cauldron was wrong?" - in which, to briefly sum up, I suggested that Elain and Azriel were actually meant to be mates, and that Lucien was chosen by the Cauldron as Elain's mate because Azriel was currently "dead" to its senses thanks to taking a poisoned ash arrow in his chest, and Lucien's true mate, Jesminda, had already died.

I know you sent this last week, I'm sorry about the wait - which, sadly, is not nearly the worst wait time for the asks I've been procrastinating on over the last couple of years lol, sorry to anyone who sent something I've flaked on - but funnily enough, there has been some renewed discourse this week.

In addition to this ask, I'd recommend checking out the following (bearing in mind that some may contain spoilers for the entire Maasverse):

The OP and my recent reblog of this post.

This similar ask I recently answered.

This thread and this thread by @silverlinedeyes.

This thread by @elriell.

This post by @icedflames.

This thread by @psychologynerd.

This thread by @wingedblooms.

This thread by @violetasteracademic.

These two posts, here (ACOTAR only) and here (with evidence from the Maasverse suggesting something might've happened to the Cauldron).

It's difficult to explain the entire (hypothesised) lore behind SJM's mating bonds without delving into the worlds of TOG and CC, so I'll attempt a very basic discussion about the Archeron sisters and bat boys (please note that all of these theories are due to a shared effort within the Elriel fandom, not limited to the accounts I tagged above); the following will be based on the theory that there are two types of bonds in Prythian: the original, mutual soul bonds, and offspring bonds for breeding purposes that may be a Cauldron-Made imitation of the original bonds.

In short, I believe Nesta and Cassian's bonus chapter from ACOMAF, and his behaviour towards her while everything was going wrong at Hybern, strongly suggested they already shared a mating bond that would have obviously predated Nesta being Made by the Cauldron at the end of the book; this would have been similar to Feyre and Rhys, who we know shared a bond that predated Feyre being Made by the High Lords. And not to make this Elriel, but for the sake of being complete, the first "family" dinner shared by all six brothers and sisters in the human lands appeared to show Azriel acting differently (in his own unique way) around Elain, just as Cassian was so obviously drawn to Nesta.

Lucien, on the other hand, didn't act in such a way that demonstrated, without any doubt, that he felt anything for Elain in particular before she went into the Cauldron at Hybern (which I discussed in my first mating bond meta that I linked above). Azriel, though? It's definitely murky, but imo his responses at Hybern, while downed with a poisoned arrow, could plausibly suggest he felt something for Elain, assuming SJM wants to go the "true bond" way. As Nesta, who could see through glamours as a human, said to Lucien right after he'd claimed Elain: "She is no such thing!"

Remember this passage between Feyre and Rhys, in the original trilogy?

“A mating bond can be rejected,” Rhys said mildly, eyes flickering in the mirror as he drank in every inch of bare skin I had on display. “There is choice. And sometimes, yes—the bond picks poorly. Sometimes, the bond is nothing more than some … preordained guesswork at who will provide the strongest offspring. At its basest level, it’s perhaps only that. Some natural function, not an indication of true, paired souls.” A smile at me—at the rareness, perhaps, of what we had. - ACOWAR, chapter 24

Rhys said that sometimes, the bond is nothing more than "preordained guesswork," which suggests that sometimes it is more than that. I (and many others, but definitely not everyone in the fandom) think that Feysand and Nessian have the "rarer" type of bond, between "true, paired souls," while Elucien does not. I guess there's always the possibility that Feysand and Nessian also share offspring bonds, but given what happened in ACOSF that would appear to be... unwise on the Cauldron's behalf. But who knows.

Anyway anon, I hope this response helps to clear the theory up for you. If you have read the rest of the Maasverse then the posts I linked above are a really good grounding in the theories behind why mating bonds may not all be created equal.

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ravenrothstr · 9 months ago

Text

Once Again Part I🤍

summary. jaehyun and his classmates go through the darkness of adulthood fill with bitterness, where both of them ended finding each other sparks in within

genre. high school! au, second chance love, fluff

words count. 9.0k

disclaimer. the story is fully fictional. other names mentioned are just for the story and pure imagination, with no bad intentions

--｡⋆✮ 🎧 ✮ ⋆｡--

Jaehyun sprang into action, swiftly manoeuvring to catch the basketball tossed by his teammates. Just as he prepared to take a shot, the coach's whistle pierced through the air, signalling the end of today's training session.

"Aish," he muttered to himself, releasing a disappointed sigh before dropping the ball to the ground.

Fist-bumps were exchanged, mutual words of encouragement were shared, and the team dispersed towards the changing room. Jaehyun situated himself between Mingyu and Eunwoo, the sound of lockers being opened filling the air.

"Let's grab dinner at that restaurant we hit up yesterday. You know, the one that always hooks us up with extra side dishes. I'm starving," Mingyu suggested, casting a glance at Jaehyun.

"Yeah, sure. Eunwoo, you in?" Jaehyun inquired, turning to his teammate.

Eunwoo merely turned his head, offering Jaehyun a cold stare before wordlessly heading to the showers, brushing past Mingyu and Jaehyun without a word. The two boys exchanged resigned sighs, accustomed to Eunwoo's distant demeanor.

"Guess he's content living life solo. Seems to be his M.O.," Jaehyun remarked sarcastically, throwing an arm around one of his teammates as they made their way to the showers together.

Despite being the team captain, Eunwoo rarely joined his teammates for post-training meals. While he was undeniably popular and academically successful, Eunwoo's reserved nature and occasional self-centeredness set him apart from the rest, particularly Jaehyun.

As the boys finished showering and left the basketball court, Eunwoo diverged from the group, his footsteps leading him in the opposite direction. With a heavy sigh, he checked his phone, reading a message from his friend.

"Eunwoo, I just finished studying for tonight. How's your day?" you texted.

Replying as he walked, Eunwoo continued his solitary journey.

The bustling atmosphere of the restaurant was a stark contrast to the quiet camaraderie of the basketball court. Laughter and chatter filled the air as the team settled into their seats, the restaurant staff familiar with their boisterous antics.

"Hey, Captain, what's your game plan post-graduation? We're hitting 18, right?" Mingyu queried, glancing around at his teammates.

"Why are you never thinking about the future?" he prodded, leaning in towards Jaehyun.

"Stop with the 'Captain' nonsense. Eunwoo's the real deal," Jaehyun retorted with a smirk.

"I know that. We're just curious. Cha Eunwoo seems to have his future all mapped out. So, what's your play?" Mingyu persisted.

While Jaehyun wasn't averse to discussing his future, he couldn't provide a definitive answer. Unlike Eunwoo, who had clear goals, Jaehyun was still uncertain about his path forward. Focused more on sports than academics, Jaehyun's family's financial struggles added an additional layer of complexity to his situation.

"The future?" Jaehyun mused, pouring water into his friend's empty glass before resting his arms on the table, his gaze fixed on the surface.

"That's a strong word," he continued, meeting his friend's gaze with a serious expression.

"Eunwoo has powerful backers," Jaehyun remarked. "His destiny's practically written for him. He knows exactly where he's headed."

His friend nodded in agreement, acknowledging the truth in Jaehyun's words.

"Anyway, let's call it a night. They're closing up shop," Jaehyun suggested, signalling for the bill.

The memory of that fateful night lingered in Jaehyun's mind as he walked home from practice. Stopping by a nearby convenience store, he purchased a pack of instant noodles before stepping outside. There, he encountered a man in his late forties seated on a bench—an encounter that would change everything.

"Evening, Mr. Jung," the man greeted, extending a hand for a shake, though Jaehyun's hands were full.

"Sorry, my hands are occupied," Jaehyun replied curtly, his guard up.

"My apologies. Let me introduce myself. I'm Mr. Lee, from the national basketball team," the man said, offering Jaehyun his business card.

Taking the card reluctantly, Jaehyun listened as Mr. Lee outlined an enticing offer—an offer that came with a condition: Jaehyun must become the team captain by the end of the semester's final game.

With a sense of foreboding settling in his gut, Jaehyun watched as Mr. Lee bid him farewell, leaving him to contemplate the weight of his decision.

The following day dawned with crystalline clarity, the school gradually filling with students as the morning sunlight streamed into Classroom 3-5, where Jaehyun found his seat. Despite sharing a class with Eunwoo, Jaehyun didn't pay much mind to him.

Entering the classroom with his bag slung over one shoulder, Jaehyun observed the usual morning bustle: some students gossiping, others hastily applying makeup in a bid to look their best. Meanwhile, Jaehyun quietly settled at his desk near the window, resting his head upon it in a familiar ritual, his hands cradling his head as he sought solace in a few moments of reprieve.

Uninterested in classroom chatter, Jaehyun often used these moments to steal a brief respite from his classmates. However, just as he teetered on the brink of sleep, the sliding of the classroom door disrupted his tranquility.

"Hey y/n, you're later than Jaehyun today," one of the girls remarked.

Y/N, another classmate, was an outsider known for your intellect and rumoured connection to Eunwoo. Speculation swirled that you might be engaged to Eunwoo in the future, inheriting both of your families' companies together. Nexus Architecture and Evergreen Designs & Associates. However, the gossip surrounding you led to disdainful treatment from your peers.

"Oh, really? We must have taken the same bus again," you replied with a smile, unaware of the snickers and whispered comments circulating around you.

Exasperated, Jaehyun heard the thinly veiled mockery directed at you, prompting a silent shake of his head before he sank further into his thoughts.

The shrill ringing of the lunch bell marked the midday break, prompting a rush of students streaming towards the dining hall. Among them stood you, patiently waiting in line for her meal.

"Oh, y/n, joining the lunch queue today?" a group of girls approached her, their tone laced with derision.

"Yeah, I forgot my lunchbox today," offering a friendly smile despite the thinly veiled contempt in their gaze.

The girls exchanged glances, stifling laughter before one of them jeered, "Aren't lunchboxes for eight-year-olds?"

Feeling the sting of embarrassment, you averted her gaze, your cheeks flushing with shame as tears threatened to well up.

Jaehyun observed the scene unfold with a mix of empathy and frustration. While he sympathized with your plight, he couldn't help but feel exasperated by the petty antics of their classmates. It was a reminder of the shallow nature of high school society, where appearances and rumours held more weight than genuine kindness.

Eunwoo's departure from the lunch table didn't go unnoticed, his actions stirring a silent curiosity among his friends, including Jaehyun. As Eunwoo made his way to the vending machine, Jaehyun's gaze trailed after him, silently observing the unfolding scenario.

"Hey, where are you going?" Mingyu's voice cut through the ambient chatter, but Eunwoo remained unresponsive, his focus fixed on his destination.

Undeterred by Eunwoo's lack of response, Mingyu exchanged a puzzled glance with the others at the table, his curiosity piqued by his friend's sudden departure.

Meanwhile, Eunwoo deftly navigated the vending machine, his movements smooth and purposeful. Yet, his concentration was interrupted by the unexpected arrival of a girl, her presence laced with a hint of mischief.

As she leaned against the vending machine, a smirk playing on her lips, Eunwoo's demeanor shifted slightly, his eyes widening in mild surprise at her boldness.

"Taking care of your girl again, huh?" she taunted, her words laden with implication.

Eunwoo's response was measured, his expression unreadable as he absorbed her words. Though inwardly unsettled by her assumption, he chose to remain silent, his thoughts swirling with unspoken complexities.

"What do you mean 'my girl?"

"Isn't she yours? For you to take care of her that much?"

She moved towards facing the machine and continued to make her purchase. Eunwoo moved aside slightly, he just stayed quiet at her question. Are you his? He just never thought of sorting those feelings out.

"Choi Ye Won, next to meet you" the girl continued and held her hand out to Eunwoo.

He hesitated momentarily, his gaze flickering between her outstretched hand and her expectant expression.

"Not for now," he replied cryptically, his tone tinged with uncertainty as he sidestepped her invitation.

Returning to the dining hall, Eunwoo's attention was drawn to you, his presence a comforting sight amidst the chaos of the lunchtime crowd. With a small gesture of kindness, he offered you the bread he had purchased, a simple yet meaningful gesture that spoke volumes.

"Hey I heard you forgot your lunch box today so I bought this for you. Though you might get hungry waiting in line"

Meanwhile, Mingyu's teasing remarks drew a knowing smirk from Eunwoo, his response veiled in playful ambiguity. Though his feelings for you remained a mystery even to himself, Eunwoo's actions spoke volumes about the depth of his care for you.

As the conversation flowed around him, Jaehyun stayed quiet, watching everything unfold. Little did he know, these events would soon draw him into a tangle of feelings and drama, making him question his place in their high school social circle.

"Jung Jaehyun, Mrs. Jeon is waiting for you in her office," a classmate's urgent voice broke through the classroom's murmurs, startling Jaehyun from the brink of sleep. He blinked, his eyes slowly focusing on the speaker.

"Now? Why?" Jaehyun's voice was groggy with confusion.

"Yeah, she's been asking for you. You better go," the classmate insisted.

As Jaehyun made his way to the teacher's office, the atmosphere felt charged with tension. Mrs. Jeon's voice reverberated through the corridor, sharp and unforgiving, as she berated a student for not meeting her expectations. Mr. Kim attempted to intervene, but Mrs. Jeon's frustration only seemed to intensify, her words lashing out like whips.

"How can I be expected to calm down when I'm surrounded by students who don't take their studies seriously?" Mrs. Jeon's voice echoed with exasperation as she gestured emphatically at the papers strewn across her desk.

"But Mrs Jeon, Jaehyun here has been making an effort. He's submitted his homework on time," Mr Kim interjected, trying to diffuse the situation.

Mrs. Jeon's eyes narrowed in Jaehyun's direction, her gaze piercing through him like daggers.

"Is that true, Jaehyun? Or are you just another slacker like the rest of them?"

Jaehyun felt the weight of her scrutiny bearing down on him, but before he could respond, there was a soft knock on the door.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Jeon," came the timid voice of yours, Jaehyun's classmate, peeking into the room.

It had been several days since Jaehyun last encountered you in the dining hall. As you now stood beside him, you respectfully bowed to both of your teachers. Mrs Jeon let out an audible sigh. Though the purpose of your presence was to meet Mrs. Jeon, it was Mr. Kim who took the initiative to greet her first, his warm smile providing a momentary reprieve from the tension in the room.

"Y/n, you're here early in the morning," Mr. Kim remarked, a hint of amusement evident in his voice as he continued, "Again."

Mrs. Jeon turned her attention towards you, preparing to deliver yet another admonishment.

"Y/n, you can't come in here every morning to ask about your exam marks. You need to socialize more with your friends," Mrs. Jeon began, her tone tinged with frustration.

"But school is for studying," you voice firm and unwavering.

The others fell into a stunned silence, captivated by your bold response. Mrs. Jeon, feeling the weight of her students' challenges, massaged her temples in an attempt to alleviate the emerging headache. Jaehyun, observing the unfolding scene couldn't help but murmur softly to himself.

"Interesting," Jaehyun whispered, his gaze fixed intently on you.

A few moments later, the school bell chimed, signaling the start of classes. Mrs. Jeon fixed them with a stern gaze before dismissing them with a curt nod.

"You, focus more," Mrs. Jeon's stern voice pierced the air, her finger pointed squarely at Jaehyun.

"And you," she turned her gaze to you, "go socialize more," her tone softened slightly.

As you both made your way through the bustling corridors filled with students rushing to their classrooms, you swung the door open, stepping out of the office with Jaehyun in tow. Just as you were about to dart off, Jaehyun quickened his pace and leaned in to whisper in your ear.

"If you want to socialize more, come eat lunch with me," he teased, a mischievous smirk playing on his lips, catching you off guard.

With a stunned expression, you froze in your tracks as Jaehyun chuckled at your reaction before darting off to their classroom, leaving you standing there, bemused by his playful antics.

The day passed in its usual blur of lectures and scribbled notes until the lunch bell brought a welcome reprieve. Jaehyun, struggling to keep his heavy eyelids from closing, finally stirred from his desk as his classmates filtered out of the room and towards the cafeteria.

As he made his way towards the door, a sudden blockade halted his progress. It was you, your innocent smile belying your obliviousness to the social norms.

"Jaehyun, let's have lunch," you said, holding your lunchbox.

Jaehyun stood there stunned, unsure how to respond. His mind went blank. He wasn't expecting you to be this ignorant but he wasn't that mean either.

"You just need to finish your lunch right? Let's eat somewhere else," said Jaehyun worriedly.

Gently redirecting you, Jaehyun guided you out of the classroom and away from prying eyes to a secluded spot beneath a sprawling tree in the schoolyard.

They decided to eat their lunch on the bench beneath a large tree in the school field, where you began to eat. It was a secluded spot, rarely frequented during lunchtime, ensuring they wouldn't be spotted. Jaehyun sat beside you, his hands crossed and feet tapping nervously on the ground. He hoped you would finish your lunch quickly, along with your lunchbox, to avoid drawing attention to their presence together.

"Are you okay?" you inquired, noticing Jaehyun's restless feet.

"Yeah, I'm fine, hurry up and finish your lunch," he replied, quickly grabbing your hand and pushing your chopsticks back into the lunchbox. You, being as innocent as ever, nodded and resumed eating your lunch.

"But—" you began, setting down your chopsticks. Jaehyun's concern grew as he turned to face you, waiting for you to continue.

"Why aren't you eating?" you asked, your gaze fixed on Jaehyun, realizing he hadn't brought anything with him.

"Did you forget your lunchbox?" you asked with a smile.

He simply nodded in agreement. Knowing that nobody brings a lunchbox anymore, he didn't want to waste any more time. You happily finished your lunch, grateful to have Jaehyun's company since you didn't have any friends to eat with at school. Having Jaehyun there made your day.

As you reached for the last gimbap from your lunchbox, Jaehyun breathed a sigh of relief. It was finally over; you had finished your lunch.

"Okay, finished. I'll get going," Jaehyun said, quickly standing up and walking away from you as fast as possible.

"Wait!"

Jaehyun forced himself to look back, a frown forming on his face. "What now?" he asked, glancing at you.

"Do you want to go to the basketball court together after class?"

"No," Jaehyun said sternly as he left.

Another school day dawned for Jaehyun. Stretching his legs off the bed and onto the floor, he raised his arms high, grazing the ceiling as he yawned. Glancing at the time, he realized it was still early, so he decided to walk to school that day.

Plugging in his earphones and selecting a song from his playlist, he enjoyed the peaceful walk. Lost in thought about his plans for the day, he reminded himself of his role as the basketball team captain—a responsibility he took seriously as a means to support his family and secure a better future.

Arriving at the school gates, he muttered to himself, "Basketball captain, no more problems."

Suddenly, he heard a commotion behind him and turned to see you on the ground, surrounded by scattered books. A girl who had walked past you was rolling her eyes and walking away.

"Hey, you pushed me!" you shouted after her, but the girl ignored your accusation and continued on her way.

Seeing you struggling, Jaehyun hesitated for a moment, torn between helping you and avoiding involvement with an outsider. He then ignores his inner conflict, he decided to lend a hand. Quickly gathering your books, he approached you and handed them over.

"Oh, Jaehyun!" you exclaimed in amazement. "Thank you for helping."

"Whatever," Jaehyun replied tersely, handing over the books before swiftly walking away. Though he wanted to advise you to be more careful, he found it awkward and opted for a brief response. Helping you was enough for one day.

You walked silently behind Jaehyun, heading to the same classroom as usual. Surprisingly, he didn't walk away or leave you alone. Given the possibility of being pushed or bullied on your way to class, you stick close to him. Jaehyun noticed you following him but didn't mind, although he hadn't realized he wasn't walking away until he reached the stairs. Your eyes met briefly, both quickly looking away.

Jaehyun cleared his throat nervously before speaking up, offering a warning. "You should be more careful," he said.

"I should, I'm sorry. I'll be more careful to not slip on my feet again."

"Not your feet, them," he corrected you. "You should be careful of people around you."

Jaehyun noticed you freeze on the landing step, just standing there. Wondering if he had said too much or if you simply didn't understand, he debated whether to approach you. Before he could decide, a group of boys approached, prompting Jaehyun to continue up the stairs, leaving you behind.

During class, Jaehyun found himself lost in thought, gazing out the window toward the school entrance. He was barely paying attention until the lunch bell rang, snapping him back to reality.

As students started leaving the classroom for lunch, Jaehyun noticed his teammates, including Mingyu, heading toward his classroom. A smile formed on his lips at the sight of friends who remembered him. Just then, you approached his desk, and he knew he was in for an awkward encounter.

"Jaehyun, let's have lunch," you said, holding her lunchbox.

Internally, Jaehyun sighed, wishing to avoid this situation. Before he could respond, Mingyu's face appeared at the door, witnessing them together. Sensing the awkwardness, Mingyu quickly shut the door again. Jaehyun seized the opportunity, grabbing your wrist and leading her to the field.

"Eat it now, hurry," he urged.

"Are you not comfortable with me?" she asked, sensing his discomfort.

The question caught Jaehyun off guard, while he was crossing his arms, tapping his feet nervously.

"What?"

"Are you not comfortable with me, Jaehyun?" you repeated.

Jaehyun blinked, realizing his behaviour. He glanced at you, who seemed saddened.

"If you're not comfortable, you don't have to eat lunch with me," you offered.

Sighing, Jaehyun realised he was treating you out of pity. He forced himself to buy some snacks from a vending machine and returned to the bench.

"Satisfied? I'm having lunch too," he said, opening his soda.

"Okay," you replied, beginning to eat.

They ate in silence, and when lunch hour ended, Jaehyun made you promise to let him go to class first. As they parted ways, Jaehyun couldn't shake off the feeling of discomfort and guilt.

A week passed, and Jaehyun found himself still having lunch with you at the field bench. His training and mood hadn't improved, and the basketball match loomed ahead. During the game, he drank the usual soda and ate a chocolate bar, feeling stuck in a rut. As the match concluded, Eunwoo's skill earned him praise and adoration from the crowd.

He threw your bag onto the floor as soon as he entered the house, frustration weighing heavily on him. Memories of the game replayed in his mind, each missed opportunity and fumbled play haunting him. Despite the team's victory, he felt like he had let everyone down, especially with Mr. Lee there to evaluate his skills. Exhausted, Jaehyun collapsed onto the bed, trying to accept the day's events before drifting off into a troubled sleep.

You sat alone at your desk, observing the bustling activity of your classmates as they rushed out for lunch. It caught your eye at Jaehyun's motionless figure, his head resting on the table. Probably lost in his thoughts. You could hear concerned whispers from his teammates filling the air.

"Let's give him some space," Eunwoo intervened, urging the others to leave him alone.

You approached Jaehyun's desk, hoping to share lunch with him and lighten him up a bit. But Jaehyun's response was cold and dismissive, hurting you.

"Y/n, can't you tell I don't want to have lunch with you?" he snapped.

His words cutting deep to you, as the feeling of shame and rejection washed over as you struggled to hold back tears as Jaehyun continued, criticizing you for being weird and clingy. With a heavy heart, you watched him leave you alone in the classroom.

As the door closed behind him, your emotions overflowed with tears streaming down your cheeks. You gathered your belongings and made your way to the field bench, seeking comfort in the familiar routine of her lunch break.

You walked to the field bench and made yourself comfortable. You could feel your small fingers trembling over the situation that had happened but forced them by opening the lid of your lunchbox without hesitating for a second. Everything stayed the same for you, except when the tears rolled down your cheeks.

The world has been harsh on you.

"And that is all for today," said the teacher, closing the book in front of him to indicate the end of the last period. You left the class with your other classmates, joining the students in the corridor. After spending your lunch crying, you feel drained.

"Y/N!", someone calls you from behind.

You recognised the voice immediately, as you turned towards Eunwoo running toward you.

"Going to art class again?"

"Yes, how about you?"

"Y/N, are you okay?" Eunwoo sensed something was wrong with your response. He gently pulled your arm.

"I'm okay, Eunwoo. Thanks for asking,"

"Do you want me to walk you there? I can tell the coach I'll be running a bit late for today's training."

How you wished you could nod. After everything that had happened today, the idea of someone accompanying you to the art centre would comfort you. But Jaehyun's words had shaken your trust in people's kindness.

"No, Eunwoo, thank you, but I'll walk myself today. You should go to practice," you declined.

"Okay then," Eunwoo hesitated before continuing. "I'll text you later."

You gave him a light smile and walked away from him. Glancing around at the surroundings on the route to the art centre, you were torn between going to art class or taking a day off. Your head and heart were at odds with each other, and with each step, your legs felt heavier.

Unable to bear it any longer, you found yourself walking back home, seeking emotional refuge with Haein, the caretaker. As you entered the house and found Haein arranging cushions in the living room, you felt a sense of relief wash over you, knowing you had someone to turn to in time of need.

A few weeks had passed, and neither Jaehyun nor you had been to the teacher's office since their last encounter. You took Jaehyun's warning about lunch seriously, perhaps too seriously. You found yourself overthinking your interactions with others and making efforts to connect with peers. Amidst all your progress, there was one thing you hadn't changed: her lunchbox. Meanwhile, Jaehyun had resumed having lunch with his teammates as usual.

"Eat up, captain!" Mingyu exclaimed with laughter.

Jaehyun smiled widely as he placed his tray on the desk and joined the rest of the team. It felt good to be back with them. Just as he was settling into his seat, he noticed Eunwoo with Choi Yewon. Jaehyun nudged Mingyu's arm and leaned in to whisper.

"What's going on with Ye Won and Eunwoo?"

"Her? You know, his new target," Mingyu shook his head.

"What? Behind y/n?"

"We all know about his schemes with y/n," Mingyu interjected. "He's just brazen enough to do it openly at school."

They glanced over at Eunwoo and Ye Won, who were clearly intertwined as they conversed. Jaehyun felt uncomfortable, he didn't the thought of you being betrayed like this. They decided to leave them alone and continue their lunch. Jaehyun then began eating ravenously.

"Hey, are you that hungry?" one of his teammates asked, but Jaehyun ignored them completely.

As soon as he finished his lunch, Jaehyun slammed his chopsticks down on the table and hastily announced, before rushing out of the dining hall, leaving his bewildered team behind.

"I'll get going, see you later"

Mingyu surveyed his teammates with frustration. The team was in disarray, with neither the captain nor the potential captain able to focus before their match. Mingyu clenched his chopsticks tightly, feeling the need to intervene.

"Someone needs to stop this," Mingyu declared fiercely.

"The weather is too great to have a bad day," you remarked to yourself as you sat down for lunch.

You had grown accustomed to eating alone in this spot, finding comfort in the gentle breeze and open space. It was a solace space for you only. Suddenly, you were interrupted by a familiar voice.

"What are you doing?" Jaehyun's voice came from beside the bench.

You looked up in surprise. "Jaehyun, why are you here?"

"Just... for nothing," he replied, taking a seat next to you with his hands in his jacket pockets.

"It's okay if you don't want to have lunch—"

Jaehyun turned to her, smirking. "Just eat your lunch," he said, cutting you off.

You returned his smirk and began eating, while Jaehyun couldn't help but smile softly at the action. He could sense that you had become more attentive and considerate toward others, and it felt reassuring.

After a few moments of silence, you glanced at Jaehyun, who seemed lost in thought. He looked distracted and anxious, you offered him your favourite juice.

"If you're going to space out for that long, you might as well enjoy a juice," she suggested.

Jaehyun sighed and accepted the juice. As both of you sat together, Jaehyun couldn't help but notice the tranquillity of their surroundings.

"Is this why you always have lunch here?" he asked, curious.

"Yeah, I find it hard to socialize at school, even during recess. So I come here to gather myself before continuing with the day."

"Jaehyun, are you okay?" you asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

He was taken aback by the question, feeling a surge of emotions. He was so close to telling you the truth of Ye Won and Eunwoo. How he wanted to save you from the betrayal.

"No, actually, I have something to tell you,"

Before he could continue, a few people approached the bench. It was Jaehyun's teammates. He quickly stood up, intending to explain the situation, while you were confused, not understanding what was happening as you looked on innocently at them.

"It's not what it looks like-" Jaehyun explained to them.

"So it was you all along," Mingyu pointed at you, ignoring Jaehyun before he continued.

"You were the one messing up with him"

"I'm sorry, who are-",

"You think you can hang out with one of us just because Eunwoo is your friend, right?!"

"This is not what it seems-"

"You getting bolder now. You think people like you now. Can you see people using you just especially Eunwoo? You no special, y/n"

They hurled insults at you, and Jaehyun's attempts to defend her fell on deaf ears. You could sense your eyes got teary, it wasn't even you who approached them in the first place. But Jaehyun was quick to realise your expression, he knew where this was heading. He immediately dragged his teammates away from you and brought them back to the class. They all left you alone on the bench.

Jaehyun was fierce, he walked in front of them in the dash.

"Jaehyun, I did a great job, didn't I? Don't worry, she's not gonna disturb you anymore", his teammate said as he smiled thinking he saved Jaehyun.

Jaehyun turned around to face him, looking at him in the eyes.

"I told you. It's not what it looks like!"

They were all startled at his action, he was really mad this time. People around them were starting to talk and gather around them. It seems like they were getting into a fight any moment now. Jaehyun looked around and gave out a sigh, putting his head down.

"Let's just go to class," he said as he entered his classroom door and closed it shut.

Your steps echoed through the empty corridor as you hastened towards the sanctuary of the girls' bathroom. Your heart heavy turns into tears threatening to spill, hiding within the confines of one of the stalls, where you allow yourself to finally release the torrent of emotions that had been building up inside.

As your sobs filled the quiet space, the sound was soon accompanied by the soft murmur of voices outside your stall. Startled, your tears momentarily paused as you strained to listen. Four concerned voices floated through the air, their words a mix of worry and compassion.

"Hey, what's going on in there? Are you okay?", one of the girls asked gently, her voice tinged with genuine concern.

"Maybe she needs a tissue," another voice suggested, practical and helpful.

A third voice chimed in, "I think she might need a pad instead. It sounds like she's crying because of that."

The girls deliberated amongst themselves, each offering suggestions on how best to help you in your time of need. Their voices blended into a comforting chorus of support, reaching your ears and offering a glimmer of hope amidst your despair.

Finally, summoning your courage, you slowly opened the door of the stall, revealing your tear-streaked face to the concerned girls outside. Without hesitation, you begin telling them what had happened over lunch. They enveloped you in a warm embrace, offering comfort and understanding without judgment.

Meanwhile, in the classroom, Jaehyun's anxiety mounted with each passing minute as he anxiously watched the clock. His worry for you gnawed at him, the weight of guilt and regret heavy on his shoulders.

Five minutes have passed.

Ten minutes have passed.

Fifteen minutes have passed.

His eyes peek around the class again as it stops at your desk. You're still not there. Jaehyun begins tapping his feet, his mind too begins to imagine every possibility that could happen to you.

'Is it possible you went back home already?', thought to himself.

Suddenly the front door of the classroom slides open. The whole classroom sways their heads facing away from the blackboard, even the teacher paused his lesson for a moment.

'Shit'

When you finally entered the classroom, your eyes red-rimmed and downcast, Jaehyun's heart sank. He could feel the weight of the whispers and stares directed at you, a tangible manifestation of the repercussions of your actions.

"I'm sorry, teacher. The toilet was really full, and I had to go number two," you explained as you bowed and made your way back to your seat.

Throughout the day, the atmosphere crackled with tension, rumors spreading like wildfire and casting a shadow over the basketball team's reputation. Jaehyun's stomach churned with guilt as he grappled with the knowledge that their actions had contributed to your pain.

Later, Coach Lee's voice boomed with disappointment and anger as he addressed the team. Eunwoo, in particular, felt the weight of the coach's words bearing down on him, the burden of leadership heavier than ever before.

As they endured their punishment of running laps under the scorching sun, Eunwoo's eyes caught sight of something on the bench where you usually sat. It was your forgotten lunchbox.

"It's okay Eunwoo, it's not your fault. We respect you as a captain", said his teammates.

Eunwoo looked at them, turning his head towards the back of him.

"He's right. I'm sorry, Eunwoo, everyone", Mingyu apologise.

'If only you held your anger on y/n, things would have been better", replied Ten, another member of the team.

"But I really can't hold it in-"

The teammates started bickering while they carried on with their laps. Eunwoo just shook his head at them, he took a glance again at Jaehyun. He was at the back of all of them. His eyes started to wander around, it stopped at something that caught his eye and made him a bit. It was the bench you sat at during lunch. There was a silver box on top of the sits. Apparently, you had left her lunchbox on the bench. Eunwoo notices it as he quickly looks back at Jaehyun to see if he notices it too. He quickly snaps out to distract him.

"Focus. Run faster! 30 laps to go!", Eunwoo shouted.

The next morning, you decide to arrive early at school. You realize you forgot your lunchbox in the classroom the day before and want to retrieve it before the school fills up. After all, the thought of leftover food sitting in your lunchbox is less than appealing.

As you push open the wooden door of the classroom, you notice Jaehyun, Eunwoo, and a few others who have already arrived. Ignoring their presence, you swiftly place your pastel brown bag on a nearby chair and hurry towards the bench on the field, seeming to cope peacefully with the aftermath of the previous day's incident.

"Is it gone already?" you exclaim, noticing the empty bench.

Kneeling down, you begin to search beneath the bench when suddenly, Eunwoo appears.

"Here's your lunchbox. I've already washed it," he says, gesturing towards the lunchbox in front of him.

"Thanks, Eunwoo," you reply gratefully, reaching out to take it.

"How did you know I left it here?"

Eunwoo hesitates, running a hand through his hair before responding, "We happened to train at the field yesterday."

"Well, that makes sense. Thank you, Eunwoo," you say with a smile, returning his gesture.

"I knew you were going to look for it. Let's go back to class," Eunwoo suggests, and you nod in agreement.

"Are you feeling better? Yesterday was rough for you," Eunwoo asks as you climb up the stairs together.

You don't react much as he expected, just humming at his question, signaling to him that you're okay now. Eunwoo begins to worry when he sees your response, his expression immediately changing as he steps on another riser above you.

"Y/n, don't take it to heart about what they said yesterday. Some people never think before they speak, they were just not in the right mind when they confronted you."

"It's alright Eunwoo. After all, what they say about me was right anyway. I saw that coming already."

As you reassure him with a soft smile, you demonstrate your adeptness at handling the situation. Growing up with both of your parents working as architects, you have become accustomed to direct and straightforward criticism, albeit often delivered in a gentler manner. You have learned to detach your emotions from such feedback and simply accept it for what it is. Even if some of the statements hold partial truth, you see little point in trying to argue or convince otherwise.

"That's not what I mean. You know I'm here for you because I really want to be, I'm not using you," Eunwoo says, offering a white lie.

"I know, that's why I said it's about me. It's true I depend on you a lot because I have no friends here, and it's harder now that you can't always be there to solve all of my problems," you pause before continuing.

"So just let me think it through for now."

Eunwoo doesn't say anything as he stands still in his position, knowing it's best for you to have some time. Deep down inside, Eunwoo understands that it's not about you needing him to solve everything, but rather his own fear of losing you. You have been there for him, even when he resorted to dirty tricks, and now that you are starting to grow apart from him, he fears being left with nothing.

Just as you are both lost in your thoughts, Jaehyun steps in, approaching the staircase. He immediately makes eye contact with you, filled with regret and the desire to apologize, but his actions speak otherwise.

-- This morning, Jaehyun's feet moved in a dash as he exited the bus, the cold breeze hitting him as he sped up. It was early, Jaehyun had already arrived at school. Without bothering to set down his backpack, he made his way to the school field. Jaehyun knew he had to retrieve the lunchbox before anyone else did. It was the only reason he could use to meet up with you again and apologize. However, to his dismay, the lunchbox was nowhere to be found.

His eyes widened in a fluster as he realised the lunchbox was missing. Without hesitation, he began searching for it. Pulling down the sleeves of his sweater, he warmed his hand with a breath before Eunwoo appeared, holding the lunchbox.

"Once again, you're second, Jaehyun," Eunwoo remarked, lifting the lunchbox with one hand while the other remained in his pocket.

"I never come in second. You're the one always taking what's not yours," Jaehyun retorted.

"Like what? The scholarship?" Eunwoo's words struck a nerve with Jaehyun.

"What do you mean?" Jaehyun asked, caught off guard.

"I know about it, Jaehyun. I'm just surprised you're doing this behind the team," Eunwoo continued, receiving a glare from Jaehyun.

The mention of the scholarship ignited anger within Jaehyun, but he restrained himself before it escalated into a physical confrontation.

"Keep it," Jaehyun said sharply, pushing the lunchbox back towards Eunwoo, causing him to sway his hand.

"I don't need those things to come in first," Jaehyun declared firmly.

He watched Eunwoo laugh at his words as he walked away, leaving him alone on the bench. At that moment, Jaehyun made a decision. He wasn't solely aiming for the scholarship anymore; he was determined to prove that he could surpass Eunwoo in every aspect.

During that lunch break, Jaehyun headed off to the library after finishing his meal. If he ever hoped to surpass Eunwoo, he knew it had to start with his mind. As he solemnly made his way to the library, everything felt unfamiliar to him. Awkwardly navigating between the shelves, he eventually found himself in the architecture section. Knowing that Eunwoo's family owned a renowned architecture firm in Seoul, with Eunwoo destined to inherit it, Jaehyun couldn't help but feel the weight of the challenge ahead.

Jaehyun let his gaze wander as he roamed the shelves, unsure of what to do next. Eventually, he selected a book that caught his eye:

"The Architecture of Happiness".

Finding a secluded spot hidden between the shelves, Jaehyun settled down on the floor with eager anticipation, immersing himself in the book.

As he delved deeper into the world of architecture, Jaehyun's passion and understanding grew. He began devouring more architecture books and design compilations, expanding his knowledge. Simultaneously, his dedication to basketball training intensified, with Jaehyun pushing himself harder late into the evening.

One night, after wrapping up the extra training alone, Jaehyun was startled to see you entering the court, still in your school uniform, your fingers fidgeting nervously as you glanced around.

"Y/n?" Jaehyun called out, bending his head slightly to confirm your identity.

"Why are you here?" he inquired as you approached.

"I- is- is Eunwoo still here?"

"Eunwoo left an hour ago. You should leave too," Jaehyun advised.

"I see. I'll head out then," you replied, making your way towards the nearest bus stop. Jaehyun didn't stop you, accompanying you silently to the bus stop. As you both boarded the bus, Jaehyun took a seat behind you.

"You could have just texted him instead of coming here yourself," Jaehyun remarked, leaning forward slightly. You flinched at his words, turning your head to look at him.

"He hasn't been returning my calls or messages lately," you admitted.

Jaehyun stared at you, his expression unreadable. It was clear to him that Eunwoo was spending more time with Ye Won, neglecting you in the process.

"You already knew, didn't you?" Jaehyun asked, subtly referring to Eunwoo's relationship with Ye Won.

You simply nodded in response.

The rest of the bus ride passed in silence. You immediately put on your earphones after your conversation, and Jaehyun followed suit, leaning back in his seat. Glancing at your reflection in the window, Jaehyun tried to gauge your emotions, but your stoic expression gave nothing away.

As the night grew darker outside, you stared blankly into the distance, your mind wrestling with conflicting emotions. Despite the calmness of the night, you found no comfort. Just as you rested your head against the window, Jaehyun pressed the stop button behind you with determination.

"Ahjussi, this is our stop!" he called out.

Your confusion only deepened as Jaehyun guided you off the bus before your intended stop. You followed him, your brow furrowing as both of you walked down a street adorned with cherry blossom flowers and trees.

"Why are you bringing me here?" you asked, turning your head to look at him.

"No reason," he lied casually. "You might like it here."

Jaehyun spotted a bench nearby, and you surveyed your surroundings. The windy night had transformed the streets into a scene straight out of a dream, with nearly pure white cherry blossoms tinged with the palest pink fluttering gently in the breeze. They seemed like confetti in the air, descending around both of you. You stood still, lifting a hand in front of you as if to catch the falling blossoms. Jaehyun watched you intently from his seat on the bench. Just then, a cherry blossom flower drifted down and landed delicately in your open palm.

"Jaehyun! Did you see that?" you exclaimed excitedly, your eyes sparkling with childlike wonder as you skipped over to him, the flower cradled in your hand.

A warm, tender smile spread across Jaehyun's face, his dimples forming as he watched you.

"Hurry, make a wish," he urged gently.

You immediately placed your other palm next to the first, closing your eyes tightly and bowing your head toward the flower. You made a silent wish in your heart before opening your eyes with a happy sigh, taking a seat next to Jaehyun. He couldn't help but smile softly at your infectious happiness.

"What did you wish for?" he inquired.

"That your life will be as happy as I was when the flower landed in my palm," you replied earnestly.

"You should wish for Eunwoo to reply to you. Why wish for someone else?" Jaehyun teased gently.

"Because the best kind of wish is the one made for others," you grinned back at him before continuing.

"It was tough when things weren't going well at my father's firm. But when Eunwoo's family firm and ours did a project together, we wished for their success, and it happened. It felt like a miracle, Jaehyun," you added, meeting his gaze.

He listened intently, feeling a connection to you as you shared your story. Your vulnerability opened up a new understanding between you both.

"Here," you said, passing the flower to Jaehyun. "Maybe one day, you can make a wish for me."

With that, you stood up from the bench and began to walk away after adjusting your skirt. Jaehyun watched you go, then turned his gaze back to the cherry blossom. The beautiful night filled with cherry blossoms remained warm in your memories as you both returned home, leaving behind a quiet night filled with delightful memories.

"Oppa, the school festival is coming up. Are you going to perform again?" a junior asked Jaehyun nervously in the corridor of the school.

"What?" he replied, staring at her blankly, trying to understand what she was talking about.

"Well, you always perform during the school festival. I was wondering if you're going to perform again this year."

"Oh," Jaehyun hesitated. With his father no longer around to practice with, he wasn't considering performing this year.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I am," he finally answered.

Jaehyun's performances during the school festival always attracted a lot of attention from girls, which made him feel a bit awkward. However, he only paid attention to his friends and basketball team, and now to Eunwoo, whom he aimed to beat.

He entered the classroom after stopping by the library as usual. Closing the door behind him, Jaehyun made his way back to his desk.

"What? You said you went where?" you asked as your classmate who sat in front of her repeated her story.

Jaehyun smirked slightly. He was sure you didn't know about the mall the other girl mentioned.

Jaehyun went through the architecture section in the library like always, wandering his eyes around the shelves. As his eyes went from one book to another, none of the books caught his attention this afternoon.

He let out a groan as he made his way to a seat. He took out a small drawing pen he held in his pocket, letting his fingers sketch on a sketchbook he had bought. Just then, he heard your and Eunwoo's voices conversing on the shelf next to his table. Making his attention on you both, he turned his head before deciding to ignore you as he went back to sketching.

"Y/n," Jaehyun could hear a voice calling it across the library as it broke the silence.

He lifted his head from the sketchbook, just as he saw you approached by a student council at a shelf next to his table. Immediately hiding his face with his hand by laying his head on his stretched arms across the table, facing the opposite of you both. Making sure he did not get caught but he continued to eavesdrop.

"Hi Jihyo," you said to the student council.

"Oh, hi Eunwoo. Didn't see you there," she said to Eunwoo.

"Do you think you can perform during the school festival? We need someone to start the dance during the evening dance event," she continued.

"I'm sorry-? What dance?"

"The principal is finally allowing us to do a dance event as the closing of the school festival," she explained before she continued.

"We would like to have you and Eunwoo perform as the opening for the dance event. Both of you can perform a slow dance, you guys used to go to the same art elementary school," she convinced you.

Jaehyun on the other side wasn't liking what he heard, he was hoping you to turn down the offer as there was a long pause after the conversation. He gathered his strength to his legs, feeling restless over the eavesdrop. He was ready to leave the library before you could answer. Eunwoo noticed Jaehyun at the table as he stood when he decided to leave the room but your voice stops his actions.

"Okay, I'll do it if Eunwoo is okay with it," you said.

Eunwoo immediately made eye contact with Jaehyun across the shelf.

"Sure, I'll do it," Eunwoo answered, still eyeing Jaehyun.

"For you," turned back his head to face you who has on his shoulder level, looking up at him.

Your lips curved upwards at Eunwoo's actions. You're glad Eunwoo is trying to amend your relationship but your guts are telling you otherwise. You were already drifting apart from each other with Eunwoo sneaking around behind your back with Ye Won. As much as you're hesitating, your actions never did anything to avoid him yet you feel it's hard to push him away.

"Jaehyun," said you as soon you lifted your head, making eye contact with him.

By your tone and your face that brightens up when you see Jaehyun, he can tell you're more interest in him eavesdropping on the conversation than being selected for the dance. But your happiness drops in a split of seconds when Jaehyun just passes by you, ignoring you both and making his way out of the library.

Your heart sank.

It wasn't the first time you received cold shoulders from him so you faced the floor, brushing away the feelings.

"So you wanna start to practise tonight?" Eunwoo asked immediately after he noticed you, you must have felt small.

"Yeah, that sounds great."

"I'll meet you at the court then after training, the court should be big enough for us."

You nodded as you gave a soft smile at him before both of you made your way to the classroom.

Jaehyun takes a quick look over at the audience on the benches. Usually, there are a few of their teammates' girlfriends, but today you are sitting casually as you sketch in your sketchbook. He shakes off his wandering thoughts and brings them back to the training. Not long after that, the training ended and the team headed to the changing room. Jaehyun stayed at the court for some personal practicing.

At first, he was just minding his own business when suddenly Eunwoo came to court again. He could see from the corner of his eyes that Eunwoo went to you as you too walked yourself down the court from the bench.

"Are you done yet?" you asked.

"Yeah, let's start practicing."

You nodded.

Jaehyun went back to his training after hearing that and you too started your practice. From time to time, Jaehyun took a glimpse of you both. He was confused by his actions. His eyes couldn't help but lay on you and Eunwoo dancing.

"Just making sure everything okay," he clarifies himself.

He looked at how gracefully you were dancing. Surely it proves a lot that both of you were from a performing arts school. He left a smile as he romanticized the view of you both dancing.

Looking at both of you dancing reminisces back his memories with his grandmother. He used to learn some dances with his grandmother, as she was a dancer. He adores graceful movements when she dances, it softens a part of him. It could make the world around him shut for a moment, the only thing that was bright and warm was the dances.

"Mr. Jeong, please have a seat," said a man opening the door for Jaehyun, the sight of Mr. Lee and his couch filled his eyes in the room.

He's been here every now and then, just the sight of Mr. Lee and a few men in suits seems new to him. His guts are telling him something was off but for now, all he could do is casually takes a seat next to the empty beside Mr. Lee at the desk.

"Jaehyun," his couch speaks as Jaehyun sits down and continues his words that leaving a shock on Jaehyun's face, he lifts his face to the couch. It was hard to believe what he heard.

"How about giving the scholarship spot to your teammate Eunwoo?"

#jaehyun #jaehyun angst #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenarios #nct 127 #jaehyun x reader #nct scenarios #nct #nct imagines

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almightyhamslice · 3 months ago

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SIR DADADOO REDESIGN!!!! I'm so stoked abt him. I designed him while I was fucking stoned lol. He's supposed to be a vampire-themed night exclusive mascot, designed specifically to tell bedtime stories to park guests (like he had his own room with a large chair and a faux fireplace & several specially made braille books for him to read, since he had virtually no eyesight). He would wear a different cape for each day of the week. I drew the butterfly cape cuz I was at a queer art event n I asked everyone else there what pattern they thought I should draw on his cape lol.

Sir Dadadoo was not a very popular mascot back when the resort was active; I imagine he evoked a similar sense of fear that you might get from a mall santa or mall easter bunny; an unidentifiable stranger one might be wary or uneasy of. He tried his best to be kind and approachable, but often parkgoers would avoid him because they thought he was terrifying. And after all, who would gravitate towards a leech mascot? Dadadoo felt ostracized by his own nature, by what the scientists made him to be. He felt trapped in the kindergarten, and sought to find a way out, even if he had to claw his way out himself.

Dadadoo bonded with Syringeon over their mutual distrust of the scientists, finding joy in plotting with Syringeon to stage a coup behind the humans' backs. It was initially going to be a two person scheme involving just them, but Dadadoo knew they'd be quickly outnumbered and overwhelmed without an army. Syringeon suggested using a combination of their own DNA, but the initial test failed miserably, so Dadadoo turned to Queen Bouncelia for help. She agreed, initially because she respected Dadadoo's ambitions and was intrigued by the idea of escaping, but later she grew attached to the idea of raising a family with Dadadoo. I think he was more clinical about the Naughty Ones at first, he initially saw them as nothing more than pawns in his game.

Things changed after he was sealed in Bouncelia's pouch, once his conspiracy had been figured out. He felt sorely betrayed by all four of his colleagues, but most especially Syringeon and Bouncelia. He initially wanted to kill both of them for attempting to kill him slowly, but after ages being in Bouncelia's pouch, he started to come to terms with his fate and Bouncelia's role as his jailer. Though she was inebriated by sedatives, she'd still try to communicate to him as if he were by her side. When he was finally torn from his flesh prison, he strayed behind as all the other Naughty Ones ran free; he wasn't sure if he had killed Bouncelia, but he was sure she was in pain. After his escape, he was much more attentive to his remaining children, since he was unsure if their mother would be able to care for them again.

Sketches of various Naughty Ones. There used to be more of them, but these are the ones that are left after their long imprisonment. Sir Dadadoo also has one additional child named Junior, but... you'll meet them later.

#art #Garten of Banban #traditional art #mixed media #marker art #pencil sketch #Sir Dadadoo #Naughty Ones #scopophobia #body horror #horror art #Banban Resort #hes so bisexual its insane. more on that later #I think he n Syringeon kinda had something going on but like they r so divorced.#at least thats what I thought watching banban 7 stoned anyway LOL

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mirandasidefics · 4 months ago

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But Home is Nowhere- Chapter 10

Pairing(s): Lucien x Plus Size Reader, Azriel X Plus Size Reader, and Ruhn Danaan x Plus Size Reader

Chapter 10 Summary: Helion sets a condition for Reader's use of the libraries, so Rhysand sets his own in response. Ruhn takes over as Reader's "supervisor". She and the two shadow wielders grow closer, each in their own ways. All leading up to Reader attending her first Starfall celebration.

Word Count: 12.5K (I'm not even sorry)

Warning(s): Very mild self-deprecation, talk of contraceptives, lack of body autonomy, use of drug/illicit substances, a morally gray Rhysand, and an Azriel that still hasn't learned the art of true apologies.

A/N: This part has more Azriel! Finally! This part may be a bit confusing in regard to the passage of time. It starts with Reader and Ruhn after her return from the Day Court. The Starfall celebrations occur 1.5 years later. A couple of flashbacks are used to go over key events between Reader and Azriel. Text in italics indicate flashbacks. The scene with Az helping Reader bake is based off this request! The song Reader sings is The Gartan Mother’s Lullaby.

Again, a HUGE thank you to @hardcoremarvelfan for the numerous hours of brainstorming, reviewing, and editing. And thank you to @loving-and-dreaming and @thesunloveschips for being extra eyes that provide additional insight to making this story flow.

Series Masterlist

Previous: Chapter 9 Pt2 Divider by @/tsunami-of-tears

As soon as Lucien and you returned, the High Lord called for you. You had little choice in being able to stall until the morning, hoping for at least one more night of peace. Especially since Rhysand came to learn of the requirement for your future trips through a letter Helion sent prior to your return. Not surprisingly the High Lord of Night was less than thrilled about being told what to do with his emissary.

In wanting to keep peaceful relations he agreed to Helion’s terms; however, Rhysand had his own requirement that your trips not interfere with your or Lucien’s respective duties. Lucien would accompany you, but only after being called to the Night Court on official business. Meaning he would be returning to his home with Vassa and Jurian and only come to the Night Court to provide updates on his dealings with Autumn, Spring, and the Mortal Lands.

You recognized you had no choice but to agree to the terms. You did your best to suppress the breaking of your heart. While you felt sadness, you could tell that Lucien was pissed by the feathering muscles in his jaw. That walk back to the townhouse had been uncomfortably quiet. Your agreement for no physical contact made it feel all the more strained. Understandably so, given that Rhysand’s order essentially meant that the only way for you to see and spend any time with Lucien for the foreseeable future would be your trips to the Day Court. You wondered if this was your punishment for Helion sending Mor back early. Needless to say, you were glad that the two of you spent your last hours in the day court soaking up physical contact preparing for your return.

The trip to the Day Court had been just the thing you needed to revitalize your spirit. Or at least it would have been if your dynamic with Lucien didn’t have to change. So, when you and Lucien arrived back at the townhouse that night, he had immediately asked to speak to Ruhn, alone, and the two excused themselves to talk in the back garden.

You went upstairs and opened your window in the hopes of eavesdropping, but all you could hear was the chirping of crickets. You assumed Lucien was asking Ruhn to keep an eye on you as he had suggested before you left Day. What you really wanted to know was the explanation he was providing to the dark-haired male. Would he tell him about how you both decided you needed space after waking up naked together? Would he say that it was a mutual decision he would no longer share your bed? Or was he going to tell him about Rhysand’s new declaration in response to Helion allowing you to come and go from the Day Court?

What would Ruhn’s response be? You had a feeling deep in your gut that he would help in whatever manner was needed. But what would that mean for your friendship? You felt like all you did was take, dependent upon the generosity of others just to function daily. You weren’t used to it; you were used to being the one that others depended on. If Ruhn agreed to stay, you would have to be better about reciprocating his kindness.

You held your breath and leaned forward on the window ledge. You could see the two males at the far end of the garden, swathed in the moon’s soft glow. And while it looked like they were speaking, you didn’t hear either of their voices. Giving up on being able to hear the discussion, you decided to take a bath and prepare for bed.

Soaking in the warmth of the scalding water you let your mind wander. You tried not to think about the stress that surrounded your sleeping patterns. But gods, were you tired. Tired of nightmares and vivid dreams. Tired of the pity on the faces of others when they saw the bags under your eyes. You were just plain tired. Which led to you feeling guilty, yet also relieved, that Helion had agreed to help.

“Of course, I will speak to Thesan,” the High Lord smiled. “Anything for my new friend; and since we are friends, I do hope that you come and visit me often. I don’t want that room going to waste. It belongs to the two of you now.” You felt Lucien tense at the words.

“I’m afraid that won’t-” Sadness flashed in his eyes, but Helion held up a hand, interrupting him before he could continue.

“If a second bed is required, then it will be added to the room before your next visit.” He recognized whatever emotions skittered across your faces. Seeing the look on your best friend’s face made you want to take back everything the two of you agreed upon earlier that morning. The cracking in your chest and desire to comfort your friend was almost too much.

“As I mentioned before, you have unlimited access to the libraries in my court. My only requirement when you come to visit, whether my palace or any of the libraries,” Helion continued. “Is Lucien, as one of the Night Court emissaries, must accompany you. I don’t want to offend Rhys or cause him any undue concern about me trying to steal his precious human relative away.” The gleam in his amber eyes told you that he would certainly try if given the opportunity.

The smile that graced your features was melancholic from the memory. You hadn’t found much information in regard to other worlds during the short time you and Lucien spent in the main library with Helion. Though you were finding some interesting materials on Prythian’s early history. You even started making a list of the titles for materials that were housed in other cities within the court. There were a few select libraries that, per one of the catalogs you flipped through, housed various artifacts used to document the histories before information was compiled into book format. Helion called them libraries, but they were really museums. Based on your current list you estimated it would take you years to get through all the materials. However, it would likely take much longer than that if your feelings about the brief discussion with Rhysand were anything to go by.

“(Y/N)?” Ruhn’s gentle low tenor pulled you from your thoughts. The bath water had long since cooled, becoming tepid to the touch.

“I’m in here,” You called out through the closed door of your bathroom. “I’ll be out in a minute.” You stood from the bath, water dripping down your body. Carefully climbing out, you wrapped a towel around your body and searched for where you had set down your night shirt. Only, the night shirt wasn’t in the bathroom with you.

You peeked your head out from behind the door, peering around the wood to see Ruhn sitting on the armchair next to your bed. His onyx hair gleamed in the light of the moon that streamed through your open window. His head was tilted back, and his eyes appeared closed. It was late and he had likely spent most of the day training with Cassian or running around the shops with Bryce and Hunt. The hinges on the door squeaked and Ruhn’s head snapped in your direction.

“Um…” You swallowed, mimicking the movement of his own throat as he took in your appearance. “Can you hand me my pajamas?” You pointed to the six-drawer walnut dresser that stood opposite the large bed. The item you believed was in the bathroom still within the top left drawer.

“Sure,” He agreed. You watched as the muscles in his forearms flex as he pushed against the armrests. You direct him to the correct drawer, and he starts to rummage through its contents looking for the black fabric as you instructed. You glance down pulling the towel tighter around you even though the door is blocking most of the view of your body.

“What is this?” Ruhn’s voice hummed with amusement. You leaned forward to get a better look at the garment he held up with his fingers. The sheer black negligée with floral lace appliques shifted with the light breeze that passed through the room. Ruhn’s smile was wide, his eyes bright. You felt your face burn from the heat of embarrassment.

“You should wear this instead,” He teased. You had yet to even try it on. You never even had the opportunity with Lucien having stayed with you most nights. It didn’t matter though; you wouldn’t be caught dead in the outfit anyway. It left extraordinarily little to the imagination. There was no way that you could wear that around anyone.

“Put that back,” You scolded him, motioning towards the open drawer.

“Aw, come on sweetheart,” He started to look through one of the other drawers for a pair of panties that would complement the ensemble. “Model it for me?”

“Are you out of your mind?” You asked, eyes going wide. He couldn’t be serious. “I wouldn’t wear that in a million years.”

“Please?”

“No! Just,” You laughed at the ridiculous pout he made, “Put it back and give me the one I asked for, damn it!” The male reluctantly complied, making a playful show of setting the garment back in the drawer and pulling out the more sensible, and definitely less sexy article of clothing that you originally requested. He handed what was the equivalent of an oversized t-shirt to you and went back to sit in the armchair.

“You’re such an ass. That thing is not even my style,” You explained despite the lie that it was very much your style. “Bryce picked it out.” On one of your rarer outings around Velaris, she and Nesta pulled you into the Boutique. They picked out a few items for themselves, Bryce using who knows what money, before the pair made it their own personal mission to find you something as well. Just in case the redhead had winked.

“My sister gave that to you?” He cocked an eyebrow, that devilish smirk still plastered on his face. “Who are you supposed to wear it for?” You didn’t think it was possible to blush this much, certain that your face was as red as a tomato. You could only guess that Bryce and Nesta picked it out with the intended viewer being Lucien, since it seemed everyone assumed you were together in that fashion. Personally, you speculated the male would prefer a color other than black…You shook the thought from your head. No one would want to see you in anything that was so revealing. Even if Lucien had responded in a favorable way to seeing you naked earlier that morning. Your cheeks continued to burn at the memory.

“None of your damn business,” You clutched the oversized shirt he gave you and retreated into the bathroom. You set the shirt to the side before patting the rest of your skin dry. You were grateful that the bathroom was stocked with your lotions as you began to rub them into your skin. As you readied for bed, you could hear Ruhn do the same on the other side of the door.

“So uh,” He paused, the clinking of his belt clued you into his nervousness. “Lucien filled me in on what happened in that other court you went to. Rhys sure is a dick when it comes to you.” He again chuckled, trying to ease any tension at the High Lord’s name.

“It’s not fair that everyone is getting into your business like that,” He continued, his voice muffled as you pulled the black shirt over your head. The hem rested against your mid-thighs, covering your ass, but leaving your legs on display. You briefly wondered if you should ask him for a pair of shorts, but then remembered that Ruhn has also seen you in this type of attire while having slept in your armchair the week prior. So, it didn’t really matter if you wore anything else or not. Having hung up your towel to dry, you came back into the room. You quickly walked over to the bed, pulling back the covers and climbing underneath them.

“Anyway, we’re both worried about you,” He sat at the edge of the seat of the armchair, elbows resting on his now bare knees having stripped down to his boxer briefs. You kept your eyes trained on his vivid blue orbs as he spoke. “He wants me to stay with you until we can all figure out a better solution. I’m willing to do that, but only if you want me to.” Your fingers curled around the sheet, fisting the cotton fabric in your lap. You were torn. You didn’t want to be a burden, but you also were frightened of what could happen if you were left alone. As of right now the available options to keep you safe while you rested were extremely limited. Your gut twisted as you contemplated a response.

“I don’t…I,” You sighed and looked at the ceiling. “This is my burden, my responsibility to fix. I can’t ask you-”

“I’m offering,” Ruhn cut you off. “You are my friend. You are understandably struggling with the trauma you experienced. And no, that stubbornness of yours won’t make it all just magically go away simply because you want it to.” You sighed at his words and opened your mouth to speak, just to have him raise his hand and continue his speech.

“Allowing others to help you is acceptable, and I want to help. We wouldn’t be having this conversation if I didn’t offer my help freely,” He sat next to you on your bed before taking hold of your hand, “But I will not do anything that makes you uncomfortable. So, how can I best help you?” Well, if you didn’t want to cry before you certainly did now. Your heart ached at his sincerity.

“I want you to stay,” You squeezed his hand in return, “But don’t you dare stop your life for me.” He laughed.

“I’m certain that my sister will agree with you on that,” He kissed the top of your head. “Which is why I wanted to ask if you’d want to come with us to Midgard?” You blinked at him in surprise.

“Ruhn, I don’t know…”

“Personally, I don’t think you should have to ask permission,” His jaw set with tension. “Why Rhysand insists on dictating your life, I can’t figure out… but we’ll ask him in the morning. A friend of mine can create a false identity for you. The Asteri aren’t paying much attention to humans right now, so it wouldn’t raise any alarm bells. We have a safe house near Ember’s new home. You could even…” His voice trailed off at seeing your expression.

“Let me think about it,” You placated, squeezing his hand.

The next morning Ruhn spoke to Rhysand. Unsurprisingly, the High Lord denied your ability to leave the Night Court, regardless of how well thought out Ruhn’s proposal was. It didn’t make a difference that your traveling to Midgard would have logically been the safer and more beneficial option for you, given the circumstances. You would have been amongst humans in a technologically advanced environment more closely related to the world you left, providing you with a sense of normalcy. You would also have access to mental health services that you were more familiar with, such as talk therapy and medications, and access to information regarding Midgard’s northern and southern rifts. If there was still a goal of getting you home, then letting you do whatever was needed to figure out how to do just that should have been Rhysand’s number one priority. However, that didn’t seem to be the case, and for a moment you wondered if he had ulterior motives.

Instead, the High Lord wanted to keep you here and didn’t bother to explain his reasoning when challenged by the Prince. As compensation, he offered you more time away from your duties with Nyx and to arrange for you to speak with the priestesses in the library. He explained that many of them had undergone their own traumas and may be able to help you on your healing journey. You didn’t have the energy to argue with the male or point out his ongoing hypocrisy. Instead, you chose to focus on keeping Ruhn calm.

“I’m staying here,” His tone was harsh as you walked him to the gate at the River House. “Bryce will just have to deal with it.”

“Ruhn, I told you-” You tried to convince him that he didn’t need to drop everything for you.

“You are what matters to me most right now,” He interrupted, his tone holding no room for negotiation. “There is a reason that you were brought here. And if that fucking prick can’t see how important you are…”

“He does,” You reminded him. “And he’s afraid. It’s not fair, I know. His treatment of me is not fair at all, but I’m trying…honestly, I would do the EXACT same if I were in his position.”

“That doesn’t make it right,” His jaw was tight.

“I’m not saying it does,” You acknowledged. “But things could be so much worse for me. I could still be locked in darkness. And eventually something’s gotta give. We will figure out why I’m here and all this bullshit can be put behind us.”

“But-”

“I need to focus on surviving right now, Ruhn.” He looked at you then, eyes wide, as if the reality of your situation finally set in. You suppose it was for you as well. The truth of the matter was that you were just surviving. Your daily routine of training and caring for Nyx was just enough to keep you from spiraling down further into your darkness. The darkness that threatened to swallow you whole whenever you sat still too long. And despite the comfort that Lucien, and now Ruhn provided, you weren’t really healing.

“If you want to stay,” You began, “I will not argue, and would be forever grateful.”

“Then I will be here for as long as you need me.” He brushed a few strands of your hair out of your face. “I’m gonna need to switch out that armchair for a couch though.” You laughed, the tension in the air dissipating, and pushed him out of the gate. He needed to return to the townhouse and speak with his sister before she and Hunt returned to Midgard. While you wanted to join him, you had to stay and care for Nyx.

“I’ll see you at home.”

“See ya at home (Y/N).”

Starfall. One of the Night Court's two main holidays was an experience like none other. At least that is what Azriel had told you. All you knew was that Feyre and her sisters had spent the better part of the past week speaking with various vendors regarding food, decorations, and music. The River House had been bustling with activity, so you were surprised when you found it silent on the day of the celebrations.

Upon seeing you, Feyre informed that she had everything set up for you to get ready at the House of Wind, with Azriel waiting in the garden to fly you there. You were utterly confused as you initially believed you would be watching Nyx while everyone else celebrated as you had the previous two years before. Apparently, that would not be the case this year and Feyre fully intended to have the entire “family” present for the event.

You found yourself to be nervous about attending. You didn’t want to believe that you were considered as part of that group. Azriel must have sensed your trepidation, his grip on your thighs was tighter than usual as he carried you. But you couldn’t think on that too long for as soon as you landed on the rooftop Mor and Bryce whisked you away.

For the past two hours both Morrigan and Bryce had taken it upon themselves to dress you up for your first Starfall. Bryce said that any special occasion deserved special attire. Honestly, they probably just enjoyed having a living doll to dress up. You couldn’t complain though. You enjoyed the feeling of Mor’s gentle fingers running through your hair and Bryce’s chattering away reminded you of your own sister. It helped that the hair and makeup styles they chose for you were within your own personal aesthetic. However, your ass was going numb from how long you sat in what was surely the most uncomfortable chair throughout the entire House of Wind. Despite the conversation around you, you pushed your mind to not dwell on the sense of nostalgia that washed over you.

So much occurred over the past year and a half. True to his word, Rhysand allowed you and Lucien to travel to the Day Court where you continued your efforts to find information on your world. However, that has only been four times since you returned from that initial trip. A part of you hoped that Lucien would be present at tonight’s celebrations. With the exception of his surprise arrival at the townhouse last week, you hadn’t seen him in months. You really missed your best friend.

You supposed there was a bit of a silver lining in that with Lucien gone most of the time, your other relationships had room to grow. It was weird not seeing the redhead whenever you liked, but you were ultimately grateful for the opportunity to get to know others a bit more. Especially Ruhn. The male stuck by your side just as he promised, and he quickly became just as important to you as Lucien was. You didn’t want to imagine what your life would be like if he wasn’t there every night. It took a while for you to become comfortable with allowing someone else to share your bed after Lucien, but after a few months on a couch that was clearly causing Ruhn physical pain you invited him to join you.

At first you weren’t sure why you hesitated. It wasn’t as if there was anything more than friendship between you and Lucien. Yet somehow it felt almost wrong to have someone else sleeping there on his side of the bed. An argument could be made that he had provided a blessing of sorts for you to be able to seek comfort from Ruhn. Afterall, with his inherent knowledge of what you needed, Lucien had asked that Ruhn be there to support you. You supposed that part of your hesitation also stemmed from just not wanting additional drama. The Inner Circle had made it well known that they weren’t afraid to meddle in your life. It wouldn’t be fair to bring that same scrutiny upon Ruhn. Yet, Ruhn was still there. Without complaint or any expectations. The nights with Ruhn certainly provided much needed comfort and mutual companionship.

Rhysand also arranged for you to meet with a few of the priestesses once a week. While some of your discussions provided useful information, there was still a bit of hesitation when it came time for you to share your experiences. Many of the females knew a softer side to Azriel and you didn’t want to ruin their perceptions. Perhaps you couldn’t discount your progress too much though, the friendship you were developing with Azriel was slowly growing.

In addition to your ongoing daily training, he had taken to randomly showing up during your time with Nyx. At first you found it highly annoying, his “casual” run-ins during park outings or helping you prepare food at the River House. The annoyance slowly disappeared, giving way to friendly banter. The Shadowsinger had successfully worked himself into your life, slowly getting you used to his presence. It helped that he would always leave when your nerves had as much as they could take, garnering a certain level of trust that your boundaries were being respected. This proved to be beneficial as you no longer shook when he was in the same room as you.

It didn’t cure everything though. There were still times when the conversations between you were less than friendly. Especially regarding your more personal struggles. Every few weeks he would check in on your sleep and your meetings with the priestesses. You didn’t know if or why he cared, but he always seemed to notice the next day after you had a rough night. The issue finally came to a head when Ruhn had spent a week in Midgard six months after Lucien stopped staying with you overnight.

“When was the last time you slept?” He asked. His sudden speech jolted you back awake. He must have caught you dozing off while reading a book on the couch in the townhouse parlor.

“What?” You rubbed your face and lifted your head to look at him. “I don’t know. A couple of days maybe?” He loomed over you, his expression darkening at your answer. You shrank back at the sight. He instantly softened his features and sat down beside you.

“Would it…” He hesitated, “Would it help if I stayed here tonight?” His question surprised you. You held his gaze, his hazel orbs felt like they bored into yours. Instead of the cold detached emptiness that you were used to, his eyes appeared gentle, sincere even.

“No.” The male sighed at your answer, one of his fists closing at his side.

“You allow Lucien and Ruhn to help you. I thought things between us were getting better. Why do you continue to refuse my assistance?” There was a small hit of annoyance in his voice.

“The difference is that I trust Ruhn and Lucien,” You explained. “That is why I allow them to sleep in the same room with me, the same bed as me.” It took 3 months of Ruhn sleeping on that too small couch he pulled into your room, only to end up next to you after spending 30 minutes calming you down every night, before you invited him to sleep in the bed. “I do not yet trust you Azriel.”

“I’m not trying to sleep with you.” His tone was sharp. “Not that I’d want to when you’re like this.” The comment sliced at your self-esteem, much in the way that Truth Teller had sliced at your skin over 2 years ago. You didn’t know why his comment struck you as hard as it did. He must have seen the hurt in your eyes as he immediately backtracked.

“I’m sorry, that came out wrong and sounded worse than I intended.” He raised his hands up defensively. “I know that I would be of no help in that manner, not after… I just want to help. So how can I help?” You paused and held his gaze.

“I need a new sleep tonic,” For a split second you debated on how much to tell him, settling on everything. “The one from the Night Court healers doesn’t work, even though they told me to take it daily for the full benefits.” You twisted your fingers in your lap.

“Helion is trying to find something that could replace it, but the last one he gave me only worked for a single night. Ruhn doesn’t know that it didn’t work. He would not have left otherwise. He hadn’t seen his family in 6 months. I can’t, I-I need something that works, and soon. It is not fair to Ruhn, even though he hasn’t complained, but…but the tonic doesn’t work a-and I-” Your throat constricted, exhaustion and frustration blocking the remaining words. You were so tired.

“I thought your nightmares had stopped 3 months ago?” He asked, concern laced over his features as your eyes began to sting. That was what you told Azriel, and it was mostly true. Over the past few months, you had a grand total of three nightmares. Those three nights were the only ones where Ruhn wasn’t by your side, as you were assessing the samples of new tonics that Helion sent you. Unfortunately, none of them worked. And you felt so guilty that Ruhn kept putting off going back home.

“Only because Ruhn is there,” You tossed your hands in the air, hoping the movement was enough to dispel the growing frustration and keep the tears at bay. “That’s why he has stayed here as long as he has. My stupid, stupid…” You trailed off. That line of thinking wouldn’t do you any good. For the last several months Ruhn and the priestesses all reminded you that trauma heals at different rates for everyone. You had to make yourself remember that. There was no pressure, no need to punish yourself for what your mind did to process what happened to you.

“I hate that…that his worry for me has kept him from his friends, his family,” You took a breath. “Sadly, the only thing that seems to truly help me is having a body next to mine. Even then there are a few nights…”

“What if I could find a solution? One that allows you to sleep without needing a male beside you?” His eyes held a gentle sincerity you never expected to see from him. The hazel and green speckled hues calmed you. You must have been exhausted for his eyes to have that effect on you.

“One good deed doesn’t guarantee trust,” You quickly turned away from him, damning your stubborn pride. “Trust takes time. And why does everyone care so much about who sleeps next to me?” Of course, the male had no answer for that.

A few days later he arrived at the River House unexpectedly. You and Elain were enjoying a small picnic near the water’s edge with Nyx. Ruhn was at the House of Wind, working with Cassian on learning the Illyrian fighting techniques. You had assumed Azriel was with them as well. The two males had similar powers and so they had been sharing tips and tricks.

You believed all was well. At least that was the case until he rapidly approached, asking to speak with you alone. His face held lines with which you were unfamiliar. As soon as you were out of Elain’s hearing range, he spoke. His voice was soft and rushed. Anxiety spiked inside you.

“This brew is one that my Mother created and uses for herself.” He pulled an old wine bottle from the shadows at his side.

“Wait, what?” Confusion spread alongside the anxiety. Azriel pushed the bottle into your hands.

“It is extraordinarily strong. About a quarter of an ounce should do the trick for a dreamless sleep.” He glanced around. Even his shadows seemed nervous as they held close to his body.

“Azriel, wait, what’s wrong?” You reached your hand out but stopped when a shadow darted towards you. “I-I don’t understand.”

“Don’t drink the tonic that you get from the healers,” His voice lowered with anger. “I know it doesn’t help, and it won’t help because it’s a fucking contraceptive.” You were stunned.

“Rhys didn’t want Lucien getting you pregnant. But the two of you were never intimate, were you?” It wasn’t panic that kept his muscles taut, it was rage. You shook your head, confirming that things had only ever been platonic with the Autumn Fae.

“I’m sorry for what I said before. When I found out about your tonic this morning, I-I raced to my Mother’s and back.” He practically vibrated with fury. You wondered if it was from the same source as your own. Rhysand made a decision, which directly affected your body and your choices surrounding it, without even consulting you. This time you didn’t flinch back when you set your hand on Azriel’s bicep. You could immediately tell that he was barely containing the wrathful energy permeating off him.

“Rhys cannot find out that I gave this to you though. One of the ingredients can become addictive, so use this tonic sparingly. I recommend using it only for the nights when Ruhn is gone.” You could tell that he tried to reign in the anger that filled his voice. “If he plans to be gone for more than a week. Let me know. Please.” You saw the effort he was making to ensure that his behavior didn’t trigger you. And you recognized that his actions were also in defiance of his High Lord. All because he really did care that you got better and had what you needed to stay safe. Even with the risk of addiction that accompanied this proverbial olive branch.

“Okay.” After nodding your agreement, he quickly turned on his heel.

“Az?” You called him again when he was a few feet away. He stopped but didn’t turn to face you. “Thank you.”

That was the biggest turning point in your relationship with him. The tonic worked. Worked almost too well if you had to be honest. Ruhn was in a panic when he returned from Midgard and found you practically non-responsive. Once you had explained everything to him, Azriel had to physically restrain Ruhn from leaving the townhouse in his desire to rip off the High Lord’s testicles. It took an hour to talk him down. He only finally calmed down after he pulled you into his lap, nose pressed against the side of your neck taking deep steadying breaths. You were at least grateful he waited for Azriel to leave before doing that. You didn’t know why the thought of him seeing you physically close with Ruhn nagged at you.

Needless to say, Ruhn refused to leave you alone after that. He had only returned to Midgard once more, and it was only because you would be in the Day Court with Lucien. Lucien had expressed his own displeasure at the situation, and you had to beg him to not make an issue out of it. The conversation between the two of you went on into the early morning hours, but he finally relented.

Since then, you opted to store the contraceptive tonic given to you by the healers, in order to not tip off Rhysand that you had stopped taking it. You weren’t having sex, so a daily contraceptive wasn’t necessary in your mind. Given that you were from a different world and not knowing all the ingredients, you couldn’t speak as to what kind of long-term effects the concoction would have on your body. While both Lucien, and even Helion, explained that there shouldn’t be any issue as the contraceptive tonics in Prythian were perfectly safe. Of course, your counter argument was that they were safe for Fae, but you were human.

“Hello?” Bryce’s hand waved in front of your eyes. “Earth to the dreamer.” You blinked and refocused on the two females in the room. Bryce leaned back in the chair across from you, eyeshadow brush in hand as she examined the symmetry of nude colors she applied to your lids. While Morrigan stood behind your chair, her fingers deftly pinning the final strands in place. You had been most surprised by her offer to help with styling the half up half down style. The chatter between them flowed freely.

You couldn’t remember the last time you had a moment like this. Getting made up for a night of dancing and general revelry. It almost made you forget that you were in a land filled with creatures and beings straight out of fantasy and folklore. Bryce was exceedingly eager to assist you in getting ready and attend the celebrations herself this year. She insisted on applying your makeup, which given your past discussions with her wasn’t all that surprising. The two of you had certainly spent a few ‘girls nights’ lounging in one of your bedrooms in the townhouse recounting trashy reality TV from your respective worlds.

With your hair and makeup complete it was time for you to change into the dress that Mor had picked out just for this occasion. The long deep wine-red dress was tailored from bust to waist, yet flowy and breathable as it flared out at your hips. Made of a soft satin with sheer gossamer overlay, the fabric draped over your form in the most flattering way. The ruffled neckline was one that allowed you the choice of it being off your shoulders or on, and as with so many of the dresses you’d been gifted a slit traveled up your left leg. It was a beautiful dress overall.

“Before you change,” Bryce cooed, her mischievous smile caused you to groan, “You need to put this on.” A small pink shopping bag, clearly from a Midgard lingerie store, dangled from her index finger. The style of the bag was eerily similar to that of a very specific and well-known lingerie store in your own world.

“A) That better not be what I think it is, and B) what for?” You crossed your arms, the silk robe you wore bunched up around the bust. Your glare did nothing to deter the half fae woman.

“A) It’s exactly what you think it is,” She encouraged, pulling out the lacy bra and panties, “and B) Tonight's a special night.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes before they landed on the opening door to the bedroom, the three Acheron sisters joining your little group.

“I’m certain that someone, perhaps one that you’ve spent an awful lot of time with this past year, would be thrilled to see you in this little number when you return home at the end of the evening.” Bryce couldn’t have been more obvious in her attempts to play matchmaker between you and her brother. You refrained from the urge to pinch the bridge of your nose. That was the last time you would ever mention finding the male attractive to her.

“Besides,” Mor added, her conspiratorial smile making you even more nervous, “The House already took your clothes. It's this or you wear nothing under the dress.”

“Nothing under your dress? (Y/N) I’m shocked,” Nesta smiled. You snatched the flimsy undergarments, which you didn’t miss were the same shade as Ruhn’s eyes, from Bryce’s open hands. You noted that Feyre also suppressed a smile as your cheeks burned. The only one that appeared to not join in on the joke was Elain. At least one of them didn’t find teasing you to be endlessly entertaining.

“I will put this on, but not because anyone will be getting to enjoy the sight,” You growled, wagging your finger at the redhead. “I’m just not walking out there without a bra.”

“Come on (Y/N),” Bryce whined. “He adores you!” The redhead followed you to the far side of the room where a wooden partition rested along the wall.

“Who?” Elain asked, hanging her own outfit that Feyre had no doubt arranged for her to wear, on a hook of the large wardrobe.

All four remaining females answered at the same time, “Ruhn.” The partition wobbled as you and Bryce stretched the panels out to create a separated changing area.

“Oh,” the middle sister mused. “I will admit, the two of you look quite cute together.”

“Et tu, Elain?” Your jaw fell slack. The brown eyed female just smiled. Your eyes went to each of the females in the room, each of their grins fanning the flames of embarrassment. It wasn’t exactly a lie to say that there had not been a particular “itch” building in you. One that you had no chance to really scratch while having a platonic bed partner next to you. But your sex life, or even the lack thereof, was none of their business. And you certainly weren’t about to ask for help in that department.

“You are all horrible meddlers,” You tried to make your voice sound harsh, but the playful atmosphere tugged at the corners of your lips. “Ruhn and I are friends.”

“And sometimes friends have unexpected benefits,” Bryce called out as you strode behind the dark cherry partition to get dressed. The group descended into a small fit of giggles before readying themselves. As you listened to their chatter you had to bite the inside of your cheek to curtail the wave of longing for your old life that threatened to wash over you.

After changing and being given the final touch of your outfit by Feyre, in the form of a delicate golden necklace, you plopped onto the bed to wait for the others to finish getting ready. However, your comfort was short lived as a soft knock sounded at the door. Seeing as you were the only one decently dressed you made your way over to answer. Slowly you opened the door and peeked your head out to see whoever was on the other side. To your surprise Azriel stood, poised with his fist to knock a second time.

Your breath caught in your throat as you took in his appearance, actively stopping yourself from doing a double take. Gone were the Illyrian leathers that you had grown accustomed to see him wear. The traditional garb was replaced by a deep navy-blue button-down shirt and black slacks. You could only speculate as to how he got the breezy fabric over his wings. Your eyes roamed over his muscled forearms that were laid bare from the rolled-up sleeves. The casual attire allowed you to finally see that classic beauty that everyone seemed to gush about.

“Hi,” His voice was almost breathless. You felt your cheeks warm as his hazel eyes flitted over you.

“Hi,” You struggled to find your own voice. What the hell…

“Um,” He blinked rapidly. “Feyre said that you were ready for someone to walk you to the terrace.”

“Oh, um, yeah,” You stepped through the crack of the door, careful not to reveal those still changing inside. You and Azriel walked in silence along the red stone corridors of the House of Wind. While you didn’t feel any tension at being alone with him, your fingers still wound themselves together with nervous energy.

“So, is Starfall some type of meteor shower?” You asked, breaking the silence between you. The Shadowsinger chuckled to himself. This was the third Starfall celebration since your arrival and you had yet to ask anyone what it was about.

“Starfall isn’t a meteor shower,” He gently explained. “It is the annual crossing of the spirits. Where souls of the departed, both recent passings and ones from long ago, journey across the sky. While it is unknown where they come from or where they go, every year we gather to watch as they make their journey.” You hummed and nodded along to his explanation. The two of you turned a corner and the entrance of the terrace came into view.

“It is a time when we remember our departed loved ones,” He continued, his honeyed eyes glazed over, almost seeming far away before returning to focus on your face. “Over the centuries Starfall has evolved into a celebration of life. Life that is honored with good food and drink, music, and dancing. Some even exchange gifts.” He nodded to the golden necklace that rested against your clavicle. Your hand reached up and gently traced along the delicate chain. You got the sneaking suspicion that the necklace wasn’t a gift from the High Lady, despite her claim.

Your eyes never left the male as you made your way onto the terrace. You were entranced, but by what you couldn’t quite place. The explanation of the holiday resonated deep within you, and you wondered if your own ancestors would be passing by overhead within just a few hours' time. You had opened your mouth to ask Azriel another question, but it never made it out. Azriel dipped his head in parting as Ruhn’s deep tenor broke the spell that had surrounded you.

“Hello Beautiful!” The male picked you up by the waist and spun you around. You squealed in surprise.

“Put me down weirdo,” You laughed.

“Only if you dance with me,” He smiled, holding you close. You rolled your eyes at his playful antics yet continued to laugh.

“Yes, just put me down.” You conceded. Ruhn set you back on your feet, however, his hands never left your waist. His blue-violet eyes wandered down and back up along your figure.

“I mean it,” He lowered his face towards your own, “You are absolutely breathtaking.” The conversation from a few moments ago sprang to the forefront of your mind. Your cheeks flushed red again.

“Thank you,” You grasped the male’s hands, pulling them off your waist and interlacing your fingers with his. “That’s very sweet of you.” You had slowly become more comfortable in accepting the compliments he so often made. Though the compliments didn’t really change the perspective you had of yourself; you started to think that maybe, just maybe, they could be true in his eyes.

An hour later and Azriel was still on the fringes of the dance space, a glass of wine in hand. He had been watching (Y/N) for most of the night out of the corner of his eye. He only ever caught himself staring when her laugh echoed across the terrace. He felt an odd longing to be the source of such an easy and carefree laugh. However, it seemed that Ruhn was the only one privy to eliciting that sound from her lips. Though there had been instances where you started to show your smile in Azriel’s presence.

Azriel didn’t really know what to expect when he walked into the River House, but it certainly wasn’t the frazzled woman covered in flour. He stopped short at seeing Nyx strapped down by his shoulders in a highchair. The child flapped his wings and when he couldn’t move upon seeing his uncle, his famous pout appeared. He was clearly displeased that he was not getting his way to fly about the room. Azriel knew it was only a matter of time before an all-out meltdown occurred as the child’s lower lip began to wobble at seeing his uncle.

The adult male made his way around the large kitchen island counter, which was covered in various baking items, and tapped the child playfully on his nose. His eyes then fell to the sack of flour that was tipped over, its contents over every visible surface like freshly fallen snow. His gaze then traveled along the countertop. Broken eggshells and stripped vanilla bean pods lay haphazardly in a corner. A large wooden cutting board had a pile of chopped walnuts. Smaller bags of sugar, salt, poppy seeds, and other powdered baking ingredients were lined up along the edge. Finally, his gaze landed on the small pot simmering on the stove top. He instantly knew what she was making and had to restrain the grimace that threatened to spread across his features.

(Y/N) had taken to providing everyone with various baked goods and desserts for Winter Solstice. During one of their many outings, she had spoken to Azriel about some of her own family traditions, including the wide variety of sweets her Grandmother and Father would make. Most of the items she made were good, but a few…well it appeared that only he and Lucien were brave enough to put themselves through the torture of eating the nut and poppy seed rolls. Whatever they didn’t eat they had discreetly discarded without her knowledge. Unfortunately for them, Ruhn had been honest with her about the absolutely horrendous flavor. While she had been upset at the time, it appeared that didn’t deter her from making them again this year.

Currently she was rolling out the dough, pressing down hard on the rolling pin. Her movements were anything but composed. Azriel stood behind her, and placed his chin on her shoulder to peer over it. Her resulting scream caused a slight ringing in his ear. But that pain was nothing in comparison to the smack of the wooden rolling pin against his forehead.

“What the fuck Azriel!” She turned, pushing hard at his chest. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.” He took a half step back, chuckling to himself and rubbing at the sore spot on his forehead. Nyx giggled like a madman from his perch across the room.

“I’m sorry,” He laughed. “But how did you not see me walk right in front of you?” He took up a position next to her.

“Bull-fucking-shit you’re sorry.” He watched her lips twitch up in amusement. Their dynamic had certainly changed for the better over the past year. She had opened up to him in a way. Telling him stories of her nephew and her siblings. Conversations between them were definitely easier now, but he wasn’t brave enough to yet call it a friendship.

There were memories that hadn’t completely healed. These were seen in the instances when she recoiled from his touch, or startled easily at his sudden appearances, such as she did now. But those instances were becoming fewer. However, he could not say the same thing for his shadows. He could tell that she was still terrified of them, no matter how much she tried to hide that fact. It didn’t help matters either when his shadows almost always gravitated towards her when she was in the room with him.

“I see you’re making your desserts again,” He mused, changing the subject. “But the rolls…”

“I know!” She slammed the rolling pin against the already thin layer of dough. “I can’t get the recipe right. They were the only things I had never made myself before, so I didn’t have it memorized. But…” Her voice trailed off, eyes shining like glass from the water that started to line her lower lids. She took a few more angry passes of pressing the pastry dough against the splotched granite of the kitchen counter.

“Why are the rolls so important to you?” He tilted his head to better see her expression, quirking up a brow in the process.

“It’s -it’s just not the same without them! It's not Solstice-” She cut herself off and took a deep breath. “The late fall and early parts of winter is a time of celebration in my world for many cultures and religions. It’s a time dedicated to families-humanity at large even-coming together to celebrate…life and light returning to the world. Though I do recognize that not everyone has positive relationships with their blood relatives, so found families are just as valid. And technically speaking each of the different holidays celebrate different things, the fact remains that it is a special time of year filled with traditions. This recipe was my great-great grandmother’s recipe and I am going on another year without…” Azriel’s lips twitched as she rambled, his eyes snagging on her bottom lip that she bit to stop herself from speaking her pain out loud. His shadows danced around her in a quick flurry. Spinning around her waist and winding their way up and into her hair. For the briefest of moments her body froze, only relaxing when the shadows returned to his side. Though he didn’t need them to tell him the feelings that she held back.

“You want to feel close to your family even while you are stuck here,” He supplied. “I personally…enjoy you sharing this part of yourself with us. But these rolls…” His smile turned to a grimace.

“I KNOW!” She took the rolling pin in one hand and began to pound it against the crumbling pastry. As if the literal beating of the dough would improve upon its bland taste. Nyx laughed gleefully at the sight. Azriel gingerly grasped her forearm, stopping her movement before she either broke the tool or the countertop.

“I see that this is frustrating you, because it is important to you,” He released her arm and pried the pin from her hand. “But the rolling pin is innocent, and not at fault for the taste.” She growled, leveling the Illyrian with a challenging glare. Azriel could only assume it was supposed to be a menacing sound, but instead it came out as comical, causing him to bark out a laugh. He set the rolling pin to the side of the stove top, taking a quick peek at the simmering goo of poppy seeds in the pot.

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.” She sighed, leaning on her elbows on the island counter and carding her fingers through her hair.

“For starters you may want to keep this from burning,” He picked up the wooden spoon and gave the mixture a stir. Steam rose as he scraped the sticky substance from the bottom of the pot. She groaned, swearing under her breath. Scooting him to the side she hastily took the spoon from his hand and swore again.

In the blink of an eye, she picked up the burning metal and threw it and its contents into the sink. The sharp resounding tone of metal clanking against stone rang through the room. Both Nyx and Azriel covered their ears at the sudden sound. The force of her throw caused the granite to crack along the edge. To say Azriel was surprised by her strength was an understatement. Perhaps there was some merit to the belief that she had distant Fae heritage.

“Fuck it! I give up!” The frustration in her voice was palatable. She turned the tap allowing the mixture to cool and soak. As the pot filled with water she turned back around and began to roughly grab the dough that was sticking to the countertop. Azriel watched the muscles in her jaw tense as she tossed the crumbling pieces into a large sack. His shadows skittered around the baking debris, though he couldn’t tell if they were trying to help her or stop her as they intertwined with her fingers on the countertop. Regardless of their intent, they were successful in distracting her as she attempted to swat them away like annoying flies instead.

“Why don’t I help you,” He offered, his lips finally pulling up into a soft smile. She sighed but moved aside allowing him the space to reach the various ingredients and begin mixing a new batch of dough.

Azriel smiled at the memory. The ease of which they fell into a rhythm in the kitchen. One would measure while the other mixed. Taking turns with quick tastes for each of the fillings, adding extra sugar or vanilla as necessary. It took a few more hours and at least three trial runs before they were successful in recreating the flavor of her childhood memory. He remembered how the flakey and buttery dough melted in his mouth, giving way to the sweetness of the poppy seed spread. With the way she had opened up to him and her expression of absolute happiness at their success, he could see why she had been so keen on keeping this tradition alive.

He supposed that to anyone watching the perfectly domestic scene they would have assumed the pair had never been at odds. She had readily accepted the perfectly sliced piece of the poppy seed roll he offered to her, crumbs sticking to the corners of her lips. The joyous smile she wore after taking that final bite made his chest swell with pride. There had been no hesitation whatsoever on her part, but when she offered a piece back, Azriel found himself pausing. In her good mood she was insisting that she feed it to him, the intimacy of the action completely lost to her. He debated upon correcting her actions, but refrained given that he selfishly didn’t want to disturb the progress in her comfortability towards him. Besides, it wasn’t as if he could have a human for his mate.

Azriel watched as Ruhn spun (Y/N) around, the music of their most recent dance coming to an end. The way in which her hair and skin glowed under the soft silvery faelights that lined the terrace made her appear ethereal. He caught her eye, and her smile towards him practically lit up the space around her. Azriel didn’t even feel his feet begin to move. He didn’t even notice that he had made it halfway over to her before another body slotted itself in his path. Nor did he hear the soft feminine voice that called his name until a hand was placed upon his cheek.

“Are you okay?” Elain asked, her brown eyes filled with worry. Azriel blinked, his eyes finally focusing on the female before him. As soon as reality caught up with him, he had the good sense to take a step back. Elain slowly lowered her hand, a small nervous laugh escaping her lips. “I called your name a few times, but I take it you were lost in thought.”

“Oh, um,” He looked back towards the woman, who was already being swept back up into another dance, this time with Cassian. “Yes, sorry. I’m okay.” He forced a smile as his gaze settled on Elain. She flashed him a shy smile of her own.

“Then, would you care to dance?” She offered her hand to him. He paused, tilting his head to the side as he struggled to read her expression. The two hadn’t really spoken in the past several months. Elain made it clear that she didn’t want to be involved in the drama surrounding her mate and (Y/N). More specifically, she expressed not needing people defending her “claim” to Lucien. So naturally, he assumed that Elain was still mad at him. Though he later realized both females may have felt cornered with how he approached each of them in the kitchen, He was therefore surprised to see that Elain’s irritation had subsided.

But was a dance with her safe? He had spent the better part of the past couple years trying to distance himself after she had returned the necklace he gave her for the Winter Solstice before Nyx was born. Neither of them had ever discussed their almost kiss, not that he didn’t still think about her from time to time. Surely one dance wouldn’t hurt. His shadows had already informed him that Lucien arrived a few moments ago and had yet to greet her. They also informed him that the female standing before him had no intention of seeking her mate out for a dance. Settling on the idea that a single dance wouldn’t hurt, Azriel allowed the female to grasp his hand and lead him onto the floor.

“Lucien!” His best friend’s excited call filled his ears as (Y/N) and Ruhn made their way over, interrupting his conversation with Feyre. Though he couldn’t really speak as to what their conversation had been about. His eyes, and therefore his attention, had been too focused on the dancing pair to process anything that Feyre may have said. Or more specifically, his attention had been on the large hands that never seemed to leave the woman’s body. Even now as she came to greet him, Ruhn’s hands remained plastered to her hips. Lucien felt his golden eye narrow as he met the other male’s stare. He almost hated the genuine, friendly smile Ruhn gave him.

“I was beginning to worry that you weren’t going to be here,” She admitted, not bothering to mask her relief. However, he did note that she withheld embracing him as she nervously played with Ruhn’s hands that had made their way to her belly. For a split second her attention deviated from Lucien as she told the dark haired male to stop. Ruhn acquiesced, but only with the directive that he was going to get something for them to drink. Once the male left, the High Lady bumped her own hip against (Y/N)’s, the former’s lips lifted in a smile while the latter rolled her eyes. Clearly set on ignoring whatever silent conversation Feyre was attempting to spark, the woman instead asked him about his most recent trip to Spring.

The simple exchange of pleasantries felt forced but was necessary in keeping up their agreement. Although, in seeing just how diligently Ruhn was taking his responsibilities Lucien was starting to convince himself that he’d need to find more ways to visit the Night Court without the High Lord’s knowledge.

“It looks like my mate is struggling with managing his own son,” Feyre chuckled as she watched the pair from across the terrace. Lucien’s gaze followed hers and sure enough, the nearly four-year-old was exploring every potential escape route out of his Father’s grasp, including trying to climb over his face. (Y/N) also laughed at the sight and shook her head. Her gentle and melodic laugh sent an imperceptible shiver through Lucien every time he heard it. Her considerably longer (h/c) curls, which he learned Mor and Bryce had helped her style, gently swayed with the movement.

“I should go help him,” Feyre began, but (Y/N) placed her hand on the High Lady’s shoulder before she could take a step.

“Let me,” She offered. “It’s been way too long since you two have actually had the chance to talk apart from discussions of courtly duties. Stay and catch up. This is my job anyway.” She turned to Lucien and squeezed his bicep before making her way over to the struggling Father and son duo. Lucien blinked in surprise at the woman’s comment and smiled.

The week before Starfall he had sneaked over to the townhouse to surprise her, only to find that she had a mild cold. She allowed him to vent about so many things, including missing his friendship with Feyre. He had been mid-sentence when he caught her dozing off in the comfortable armchair near the hearth in the front parlor. At least he had thought she had been asleep. When he called out her name, she had only grunted a response. A few seconds passed by before Ruhn returned from the kitchen with hot tea for her sore throat. Ruhn had gently woken her, making her drink what he had prepared.

Lucien could still recall the strong scent of lemon and ginger a week later. She had a sour look on her face the entire time she forced herself to drink the tea before the two eventually retreated to bed. He remembered watching Ruhn fuss over her. He couldn’t help but take note of how the male was able to show just how much he loved her. However, she rebuffed Ruhn’s efforts and refused to be carried up the stairs.

While any of the Fae were able to carry her with minimal effort, Lucien had come to realize that she only allowed Azriel to do so. And even then, it was only for the purpose of going to and from the House of Wind. He recognized that she was self-conscious of her body. But…he still didn’t fully understand why.

She looked beautiful in her dress tonight. The way the sheer fabric hugged her frame before flaring out at her hips had his eyes returning to her periodically throughout the night. Staying away from her had been torturous, even more so than having to stay away from Elain. Lucien tried not to focus on the guilt that stirred in his chest at that fact. He could feel the strained pulling of the thread leading to his mate with each passing day. Within the last 2 years there were even some days that the unrequited bond caused physical discomfort.

“She’s so good with him.” Feyre interrupted his thoughts, “I swear sometimes I think she was sent here by the Mother for that very purpose.” Lucien followed the High Lady’s gaze. Nyx’s arms were outstretched towards his human nanny as she approached. From this distance he could make out her voice telling Nyx they would find a quiet space to calm down. Nyx verbally protested while at the same time making himself comfortable in her arms by resting his head on her shoulder and his small arms reaching around her in a hug.

Her smile was warm as she walked away from the High Lord, who let his son go freely. The sight of the scene before him pulled at a deep sense of longing. The feeling was so strong that it caused Lucien to rub at his sternum. Slowly his attention returned to Feyre and their conversation resumed.

Azriel had been listening to Elain recount an amusing exchange she had at one of the local bakeries when he heard a soft melody on the wind. At first he was confused, the voice seemingly from nowhere. He glanced around, looking for the source, even sending out a shadow. Elain’s voice trailed off as well, likely noticing that he had stopped paying attention.

“Do you hear that?” He asked her. He watched as she tilted her head, listening carefully as another spring breeze ruffled her own golden hair.

“I think that’s (Y/N),” She replied. “She’s likely singing to Nyx. She does it quite often. She has such a lovely voice, don’t you think?” Elain was right, the voice was beautiful. Her warm timbre settled something in him, lulling a sense of calm over the terrace. Before he knew it his feet were transporting him towards her rich vocals.

By the time he arrived at the small, enclosed patio on the far side of the House of Wind her song had changed. He also wasn’t the only person in the small audience that congregated a short distance away from where she gently swayed with Nyx asleep in her arms.

Sleep, oh babe, for the red bee hums

The silent twilight's fall

The melody was simple, gentle and lilting. (Y/N)’s warm dulcet timbre reminded him of a comforting blanket.

Aoibheall from the gray rock comes

To wrap the world in thrall

Out of the corner of his eye, Azriel noticed that both Bryce and Ruhn had what he assumed were their phones in their hands.

A leanbhín ó, my child, my joy

My love and heart's desire

Azriel watched as her hand lazily rubbed the small child’s back, ever careful of his wings. Though, it was obvious to any of the three Illyrian males present that Nyx was perfectly at ease if she did accidentally brush along the spots where the wings protruded from his back.

The crickets sing you lullaby

Beside the dying fire

Just as her voice trailed off, the sky lit up. While everyone’s attention switched to the spirits above, Azriel’s remained fixed on (Y/N). He watched from a safe distance as Ruhn quietly approached. (Y/N) placed a finger over her lips, silently instructing the male to remain silent lest he wake Nyx. Azriel felt his stomach flip when the male placed a kiss on her temple and her resulting bashful smile. Ruhn held his phone up again and Azriel saw her lips move, but couldn’t hear the words. Finally her attention drifted towards the sky, eyes reflecting the falling stars.

Ruhn hovered just behind her, his hands on her hips as she swayed with the heir of the Night Court sleeping soundly in her embrace. To all who were present he was certain that many would assume the pair were lovers. And had Nyx not been born with wings, absolute strangers would have even assumed they were their own little family. That had certainly been the misunderstanding he experienced once or twice while out with her during some of the outings with Nyx. But why did the scene before him nag at something in the back of his mind?

Before the phenomena that is Starfall came to an end, Elain approached the little trio, offering to take Nyx home with Rhysand’s help. Elain slowly wrapped her hands underneath Nyx’s torso, gently pulling him away from (Y/N). His head drooped down as soon as it was off her shoulder. Everyone in the immediate area held their breaths waiting to see if the movement would wake him. When it didn’t, Elain settled him in her arms. Rhysand came up to her side, his arms around both Elain and Nyx before launching them into the sky and winnowing back to the River House.

Azriel took that as his cue to return to the main terrace as well, wanting to give the couple some space. However, it seemed that the woman had other plans for the next thing that he knew, there was a light tapping on his shoulder. When he turned, (Y/N) was standing there holding out her hand to him. She giggled at his confused expression.

“Care to dance with me?” She asked. At first he didn’t know what to do. A wave of nostalgia washed over him, the expression she held reminding him of those first days after meeting Mor. But the woman in front of him now was so much different. He recognized that there truly had been great strides made in their dynamic for her to feel comfortable enough to approach him first. Something about that made him feel lighter.

Azriel realized that he had not done nor said anything as she slowly started to retract her hand. Quicker than he intended, he reached for her before the hand returned to her side. But she didn’t flinch, and didn’t back away. Once her hand was gently placed in his, he walked her over to the small area reserved for dancing. The music was languid and soft. A smooth legato that allowed them to gently sway. One hand was clasped with hers, the other tentatively resting on her waist.

“I never properly thanked you for helping me,” She said after a time, her fingers twitched along his shoulder. “The sleep tonic really did work. But I can’t argue that it was scary how out of it I was after just using it for a few days.”

“In all fairness I did warn you,” He chuckled, bringing his hand further around her waist. “And I overestimated the dose, given that it’s what my Mother uses for herself. Since you are human you require less. Cutting it should-” She laughed.

“Aren’t I supposed to be the one that rambles?” She inquired, allowing her body to be pulled in closer to his own.

“You do ramble quite often,” He acknowledged, feeling the corners of his mouth twitch up. “But I enjoy listening when you talk freely.” The melody swelled, and he pulled her along in time with the rising vibrancy of the strings.

“You sure that’s not a secret tactic?” She playful squinted her eyes at him, as if studying his reaction. “Lull me into a sense of security so that I can tell you everything.” While her words could be interpreted as accusatory, her tone held only mirth. He opted to take her ability to jest about their past as a sign that things were healing. While Azriel found himself chuckling along, he wanted to reassure her that he didn’t fear what her presence in the Night Court meant for his family.

“I don’t need to learn any more information about you,” He explained. “I seek out your company and listen because…because I genuinely enjoy getting to know you.” The fluttering dance within his chest surprised him. He felt overly conscious of his efforts to make his voice and smile as disarming as possible. “I am truly sorry for everything that my job required me to do then. I hope that you believe me when I say-” But she again cut him off, this time by placing her hand directly over his mouth.

“I don’t,” She paused. “I know. I understand what your role was, and since that time you have taken steps to show that you are not proud of what you had to do. So let’s leave it at that. I’d much rather talk about other things.” She lowered her hand back down to his shoulder.

“Like what?” Azriel took the opportunity to spin her in time with the flourishing melisma. She giggled as spun back towards his chest, nearly losing her balance in the heels that she wore.

“For instance, is Starfall your favorite holiday?” She clutched his bicep to ensure that she remained steady. “The way you spoke about it makes it seem pretty important to you.” Azriel paused at her preceptive statement.

“I don’t know if I would call it my favorite,” He mused. He hoped that she couldn’t feel the racing of his heart as he interlaced his fingers with hers. “But it is unique to the Night Court. Most of the other courts celebrate Nynsar, a spring holiday held between the Winter Solstice and Calanmai.”

“The Spring Equinox?” She asked. He could feel the muscles at the small of her back tighten ever so slightly.

“Yes, that’s what it is referred to in the mortal lands.” Azriel’s brow furrowed as he watched as her head dipped to his collar and her eyes lost focus. She nodded a few times before biting the lower corner of her lip. The mention of the mortal holiday triggered a memory that he could see was threatening to take over. Finally, she looked up towards the stars that continued their ascent across the vast blackness of the night court sky.

“Today is my brother’s birthday,” Her whisper nearly slipped past his ears. “Gods, he would love this.” Her lower lip trembled as she continued to search the sky. A desire to disperse her worries rose up inside him like the striking winds of Illyria.

“I miss them so much,” Her eyes met his own golden hues for a fleeting moment before fluttering shut. The movement drove the silver lining her (e/c) hues to slip past her defenses. Salty streaks disrupting the otherwise flawless skin. For the third time that night, Azriel found his body moving without instruction. The hand supporting her back, now gently cupped the side of her face. His thumb gently brushed away the evidence of her sorrow. He had to keep his features neutral as surprise caused his lungs to tighten. She leaned into the caress, even sighing at the gentle comfort it brought. There was no trace of the fear she once held at the sight of his hands.

The two had already ceased their movements when the final cadence rang through the air. The minor chord echoed off the stone, highlighting and perfectly matching the melancholy that always signaled the last of the spirits descending past the horizon. As soon as the tones faded the bubble that surrounded their dance burst.

“I’m sorry.” She stepped back, immediately bringing her hands towards her own body and fidgeting with her own fingers. “I’d like to go to the townhouse now, but I need to find Ruhn.” She couldn’t even look him in the eyes. All of that vulnerability retreated back into herself. Reserved only for the ones she truly trusted. The realization hit him harder than he ever wanted to admit.

“Sure, wait here.” He kept his tone gentle, his own hands dropping to his sides. “I’ll tell him and Cassian to meet us there.” She nodded her thanks and stepped to the railing that overlooked Velaris. As Azriel made his way to the opposite end of the terrace, he wondered if he would ever see that vulnerable side of her again.

General tag list: @loving-and-dreaming

Next- Chapter 11

Series tag list: @jenniferpendragon @impossibelle @sweet-chai-amore @myheartfollower @iimichie @fightmedraco @nikkitch0703 @eerievixen @ang-taylorsversion @randomness-it-is @thehighlordishere @rachelnicolee @hardcoremarvelfan @awkardnerd @sundayysunshine @jpgtae @cheneyq @morganwdarius

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