#Additional Skills Training

[miodiodavinci]

im being so so brave but also i am gripping you by the shoulders and leaning in and letting you know i am so tired of being brave

[springs-hurts]

Okay it's little sad but kind of funny how Merlin didn't know his father, Arthur didn't know his mother as in just one parent. Arthur was good with swords, Merlin had magic...

Meanwhile Morgana and Morgause- both Orphans,both had magic and were good with swords, a complete package 😭😭🙏🙏

[baladric]

oh the literal perfect job just opened up please send good fucking vibes or pray or whatever you do, i need this. so. badly.

[reasonsforhope]

In the Willamette Valley of Oregon, the long study of a butterfly once thought extinct has led to a chain reaction of conservation in a long-cultivated region.

The conservation work, along with helping other species, has been so successful that the Fender’s blue butterfly is slated to be downlisted from Endangered to Threatened on the Endangered Species List—only the second time an insect has made such a recovery.

[Note: "the second time" is as of the article publication in November 2022.]

To live out its nectar-drinking existence in the upland prairie ecosystem in northwest Oregon, Fender’s blue relies on the help of other species, including humans, but also ants, and a particular species of lupine.

After Fender’s blue was rediscovered in the 1980s, 50 years after being declared extinct, scientists realized that the net had to be cast wide to ensure its continued survival; work which is now restoring these upland ecosystems to their pre-colonial state, welcoming indigenous knowledge back onto the land, and spreading the Kincaid lupine around the Willamette Valley.

First collected in 1929 [more like "first formally documented by Western scientists"], Fender’s blue disappeared for decades. By the time it was rediscovered only 3,400 or so were estimated to exist, while much of the Willamette Valley that was its home had been turned over to farming on the lowland prairie, and grazing on the slopes and buttes.

Pictured: Female and male Fender’s blue butterflies.

Now its numbers have quadrupled, largely due to a recovery plan enacted by the Fish and Wildlife Service that targeted the revival at scale of Kincaid’s lupine, a perennial flower of equal rarity. Grown en-masse by inmates of correctional facility programs that teach green-thumb skills for when they rejoin society, these finicky flowers have also exploded in numbers.

[Note: Okay, I looked it up, and this is NOT a new kind of shitty greenwashing prison labor. This is in partnership with the Sustainability in Prisons Project, which honestly sounds like pretty good/genuine organization/program to me. These programs specifically offer incarcerated people college credits and professional training/certifications, and many of the courses are written and/or taught by incarcerated individuals, in addition to the substantial mental health benefits (see x, x, x) associated with contact with nature.]

The lupines needed the kind of upland prairie that’s now hard to find in the valley where they once flourished because of the native Kalapuya people’s regular cultural burning of the meadows.

While it sounds counterintuitive to burn a meadow to increase numbers of flowers and butterflies, grasses and forbs [a.k.a. herbs] become too dense in the absence of such disturbances, while their fine soil building eventually creates ideal terrain for woody shrubs, trees, and thus the end of the grassland altogether.

Fender’s blue caterpillars produce a little bit of nectar, which nearby ants eat. This has led over evolutionary time to a co-dependent relationship, where the ants actively protect the caterpillars. High grasses and woody shrubs however prevent the ants from finding the caterpillars, who are then preyed on by other insects.

Now the Confederated Tribes of Grand Ronde are being welcomed back onto these prairie landscapes to apply their [traditional burning practices], after the FWS discovered that actively managing the grasslands by removing invasive species and keeping the grass short allowed the lupines to flourish.

By restoring the lupines with sweat and fire, the butterflies have returned. There are now more than 10,000 found on the buttes of the Willamette Valley."

-via Good News Network, November 28, 2022

[joseefinwrites]

Ultimate "Know Your Character Inside Out" Template

The ultimate template for creating a character, without losing your mind, while you're at it.

Character Background Template ... (open)

1. Name:

2. Age:

3. Gender & Pronouns:

4. Physical Appearance:

   - Hair color:

   - Eye color:

   - Height:

   - Build:

   - Distinguishing features (scars, tattoos, etc.):

5. Background and Upbringing:

   - Where were they born and raised?

   - What was their family structure like (parents, siblings)?

   - Describe their childhood environment and upbringing.

   - Were there any significant events or traumas in their past?

6. Education and Skills:

   - What level of education did they receive?

   - Did they excel in any particular subjects or skills?

   - Have they pursued any additional training or education since then?

7. Personality Traits:

   - Describe their personality in a few words.

   - What are their strengths and weaknesses?

   - How do they typically react under stress or pressure?

8. Motivations and Goals:

   - What are their short-term and long-term goals?

   - What drives them to pursue these goals?

   - Are there any fears or insecurities that motivate or hinder them?

9. Relationships:

   - Who are the most important people in their life?

   - How do they interact with family, friends, and acquaintances?

   - Do they have any romantic interests or significant relationships?

10. Past Experiences:

    - Have they faced any major challenges or setbacks in the past?

    - How have these experiences shaped their beliefs and values?

    - Have they experienced any significant losses or tragedies?

11. Worldview and Beliefs:

    - What are their core beliefs and values?

    - How do they view the world around them?

    - Are there any cultural, religious, or philosophical influences in their life?

12. Inner Conflict:

    - What internal struggles do they face?

    - Are there any unresolved issues from their past that continue to affect them?

    - How do these inner conflicts impact their decisions and actions?

13. Connection to Outer Conflict/Plot:

    - How does their personal journey intersect with the main plot or external conflict?

    - What stakes are involved for the character in the larger story?

    - How do their goals and motivations align (or conflict) with the central conflict?

 

(Shorter) Knowing Your Character Inside Out Checklist

Personality Traits:

   - Introverted/Extroverted

   - Optimistic/Pessimistic

   - Assertive/Passive

   - Empathetic/Self-centered

   - Logical/Emotional

   - Adventurous/Cautious

   - Honest/Dishonest

   - Ambitious/Content

Beliefs and Values:

   - Religious beliefs (if any)

   - Moral code

   - Political beliefs

   - Views on relationships

   - Attitude towards authority

Fears and Insecurities:

   - Common fears (spiders, heights, etc.)

   - Deep-seated insecurities (failure, rejection, etc.)

   - Traumatic experiences (if applicable)

Desires and Goals:

   - Short-term goals

   - Long-term aspirations

   - What motivates them to pursue these goals?

Strengths:

   - Intellectual strengths

   - Physical abilities

   - Emotional resilience

   - Social skills

   - Unique talents or abilities

Weaknesses:

   - Personal flaws

   - Areas of vulnerability

   - Bad habits

   - Limiting beliefs

Backstory:

    - Family background

    - Childhood experiences

    - Significant life events that shaped their identity

    - Education and career path

    - Previous relationships

-Josie

[winterarmyy]

He Hates Me, Doesn't He?

A series of random Bucky Drabbles that I can't let go but don't have the brain to make the whole complete plot of.

Summary: You hurt Bucky's girl, and now he hates you.

Pairing: tfatws!bucky x female!reader

Words: 6.7k++

Warnings: angstyyyyyyyyy, but with happy ending because I cannot live in agony. miscommunication galore. 'I want to strangle bucky's girlfriend.' soft reader, cold/mean bucky. bucky should've grovel more. horrible attempt of writing verbal arguments. nothing much but pain.

Inspiration: I remember reading a bucky fic years ago and I like the pain that it caused me to feel. Idk why the pain suddenly came back to me lately. So, this is my take on the same idea. I haven't able to find it. But when I do, I'll reblog it in my another acc!

Read my other works here: Masterlist

y/n had always been a steady presence in the Avengers, known for her gentle demeanour and unwavering support. Her relationship with Bucky Barnes had blossomed from a quiet friendship into something deeper. When they first met, Bucky was reserved and hesitant, still grappling with his past as the Winter Soldier. y/n, with her gentle nature and patient understanding, slowly helped him come out of his shell.

She remembered the sleepless nights they spent together when they were on the run with Steve and Sam. They'd share stories, and sometimes just sit in silence, her quiet company offering solace to Bucky's restless mind. The unspoken bond growing stronger with each passing day. Bucky looked up to her, finding comfort in her presence, and in turn, he became fiercely protective of her. They'd watch each other's backs during missions, their synergy on the battlefield a testament to their deep connection. 

And somewhere along the line, she fell for him. She had fallen for Bucky's resilience and vulnerability, though she never expected more, knowing that a relationship was not what he needed right now. At least, that's what she thought. Little did she know, Bucky had always loved her; ever since the day she offered him tea the first night they were on the run to Wakanda. Maybe she was just simply aloof, or maybe Bucky’s flirting skills weren’t translated the way he wanted, but they never crossed the line between friendship and ‘something more’.

Then when Jen came into the picture, it felt like things started to change. Jen was bold and confident, and it wasn't long before she caught Bucky's eye. Their relationship seemed to spring up overnight, and y/n, though hurt, tried to be happy for Bucky. Jen was supportive and caring, or so it seemed, and Bucky deserved happiness.

Now, as planned the team was instructed to moved into the Avenger compound for a few months to train new recruits. It had only been the first month but surely it was jam packed with endless of rigorous training sessions. The original team—y/n, Sam, Bucky, Jen, Clint, and his mentee Kate Bishop���were all assigned to train the new recruits, with additional of few agents from different branches coming in to help out.

y/n was heading to the training room; she knew it was way too early but she thought that if she didn’t get out of bed now, she might not even get up at all. To her surprise, she was not the first one. She saw a few new trainees were already on the way to the training room; some of them greeted her a good morning. She simply smiled at their enthusiasm. 

The moment she entered the area, she overheard voices coming from the corner of the room. She paused, recognizing Jen's voice, which was raised and laced with contempt. Curiosity piqued, y/n stepped closer, staying just out of sight behind the white board. In hindsight, it might seem weird that she was sneaking around to eavesdrop on Jen, but she couldn't help it.

Initially, y/n liked Jen. She tried to welcome her into their tight-knit group and even supported her relationship with Bucky. However, as time went on, Jen began acting strange. The things she said about Bucky sometimes sounded condescending. She would make comments like, "It's amazing how well he's adjusted, considering his past," or, "It's great that he's trying so hard to be normal." The way she acted often differed from her words, with Jen giving Bucky disapproving glances or sighing heavily whenever he mentioned something from his troubled past.

She had noticed these discrepancies and started to feel uneasy around Jen. She couldn't shake the feeling that Jen’s support was just a facade. Now, standing behind the whiteboard, she strained to hear the conversation.

"…and honestly, I don’t understand how anyone can trust him," Jen was saying. "I mean, sure, he's got that whole 'reformed hero' thing going on now, but let’s be real. He was Hydra’s pet assassin for decades. The things he’s done? It’s unforgivable."

Her friend, another agent from a different branch, nodded hesitantly. "But you’re dating him, aren’t you? Doesn’t that mean you trust him?"

Jen laughed, a cold, humourless sound. "Dating him? Please. I’m in it for the fame and the perks. Have you seen the way people look at us? Besides, he’s hot, I’ll give him that. But trust him? Never. People like him don’t change. They’re broken. He's a monster, and he always will be. It’s only a matter of time before he snaps again."

y/n felt a surge of anger rise within her. How dare Jen talk about Bucky like that? 

Memories flooded her mind, flashing back to Bucky’s nightmare-plagued nights. She remembered the prominent dark circles under his eyes, the haunted look that never quite left his face. The silent pain he endured, adjusting to a modern world where he felt like an outsider, magnified when Steve left. She could still see the wary, suspicious glances people cast in his direction, the whispers behind his back when they first ventured out. Before the fame he acquired as he regained his reputation after the Flag-Smasher incident.

She had witnessed his hardships firsthand—the nightmares that woke him in a cold sweat, the moments of crippling doubt and self-loathing. But she had also seen his triumphs, the small victories that slowly built his confidence. The first time he laughed freely in her presence, the genuine smile that lit up his face when he finally allowed himself to relax. She cherished those moments, the sunshine that broke through the clouds of his tortured past.

All of this came rushing back, breaking the chains on the Pandora's box inside of her. The fury she felt wasn't just for the disrespect to Bucky; it was for every ounce of pain he had suffered, every moment of joy he had fought so hard to reclaim. Her eyes hardened with resolve as she stepped forward, her voice steady but cold. "Take that back," she demanded, her presence startling both Jen and her friend.

Jen turned slowly, a smirk spreading across her face as she saw y/n. She knew from the beginning about the cute little crush y/n had on Bucky. To be frank, everybody sort of knew about it, except for Bucky somehow. 

"Or else what, y/n?" she replied with a mocking tone. "You’re quite pathetic aren’t you? You think that I can’t see how you’ve been eye-fucking my boyfriend all this time? Come on, now. Backing him up would not give you a leeway into his pants, y/n."

y/n’s face went through a range of emotions—shock, embarrassment, and then seething anger. Jen’s words were like poison, each one landing like a punch to the gut.

Jen continued, confidence oozing out of her cocky demeanor, "Besides, we all know that I can easily beat you in a fight, doll" 

The use of doll—a nickname Bucky had given y/n from day one, when Steve had quite literally kidnapped Bucky from the government—made y/n blood boil. Hearing it from Jen felt like a personal attack, a deliberate attempt to undermine everything she shared with Bucky.

And it was true that Jen had graduated top of her batch from the Avengers program and had countless successful missions under her belt, but y/n knew this wasn't about accolades or abilities. This was about something deeper, something more personal.

y/n clenched her fists, taking a step closer. "You think this is about who can fight better?" she said, her voice shaking with restrained fury. "This is about respect. You don’t get to talk about Bucky like that."

Jen scoffed, a cruel smile on her lips. "Respect? For that monster? You’re delusional. He’s a ticking time bomb, a liability to the team. And deep down, everyone knows it."

y/n’s patience snapped. In one swift motion, she slapped Jen hard across the face, the sound echoing through the room. Jen stumbled and fell to the ground, shock and anger flashing across her features.

She stalks forward like a predator cornering its prey, "I’m just done with your lies and your insults. Bucky deserves better than you." Jen instinctively crawled backwards towards the centre of the room. Seeing that she got the attention of the few new recruits she regained her composure, smirked again, but there was a flicker of uncertainty in her eyes. "You’re pathetic, y/n," she taunted. "Defending a lost cause." her voice was loud enough for y/n to hear but quiet enough that the others might not be able to decipher her words.

At that moment, Bucky and Sam burst into the room, followed closely behind by a new recruit who alerted them of the incident. Bucky’s eyes widened as he took in the scene—Jen on the ground, y/n standing over her, shaking with rage. "What’s going on here?" His demand was completely ignored as y/n’s mind was hyper-focused on the wrath bubbling within her. 

"Get up," y/n demanded, her voice shaking with wrath. Bucky’s momentarily froze as he watched the confrontation escalate before him. y/n, usually so composed, was now a whirlwind of rage, her eyes blazing as she stood over a trembling Jen. Bucky had always known her to be fierce in battle, but this was different—this was raw, unbridled anger. "I'm going to make you regret every word you said. So get on your fucking feet before I rip it off you.." 

Jen, still on the ground, looked up at y/n with wide, teary eyes, playing the role of the victim to perfection. "Please, I didn't– I don’t know what you're…," she whimpered, casting a fearful glance at Bucky and Sam, who had just arrived on the scene.

Bucky's mind raced. Why was she doing this? He stepped forward, trying to diffuse the situation. "y/n, hey!" he shouted, his voice a mix of confusion and anger. "What are you doing?"

Completely ignoring him, "Get up," y/n snarled, her eyes blazing with intensity. "Get up and fight me. I’ll show you who the real monster is." Jen looked up, her hand on her cheek, disbelief mingling with her fury. "You’re crazy," she spat, scrambling to her feet.

Her response was only a furious shout. "I said, get up!"

"y/n, are you crazy?!" Bucky yelled, moving quickly to intervene. He grabbed her wrist, his grip tight and unforgiving.

She turned her fierce gaze towards Bucky; her expression momentarily faltering at the hurt in his eyes. "Bucky, you don’t understand, she--" she began, but the words caught in her throat as she saw Jen's smirk flicker for just a second.

"There's nothing to understand," Bucky snapped. "You’re acting insane."

y/n looked at him, her eyes filled with hurt and frustration. "Bucky, you have to listen—"

But he cut her off, his expression hard. "I don’t care! You hurt her, y/n. You think I don’t see that bruise on her cheek?!" Bucky shouted, his face contorted with anger. His eyes, usually filled with a gentle warmth when he looked at y/n, were now blazing with fury. "This isn’t like you, y/n. I’ve noticed that you’ve never liked Jen, and I don’t know why. But this? This is just immature and reckless." His metal grip on y/n's wrist was tighter than he intended. She winced, her eyes watering not just from the pain but from the sting of his words. 

y/n had never seen Bucky like this. His anger was palpable, radiating off him in waves. It was like being hit with a physical force, and she felt her heart breaking under the weight of it. Tears welled up in her eyes, but she blinked them away, her anger flaring even hotter. "Bucky, you don’t understand," she tried to explain, but the words caught in her throat.

Bucky’s expression remained hard, the force on her wrist tightening painfully. "You need to grow up, y/n," he seethed, his disappointment evident in his tone. "You're always causing drama lately, and it needs to stop. Jen’s been there for me in ways you haven’t, and I won’t tolerate you attacking her like this."

The words cut through her like a knife. Her heart shattered at his harshness, at the realization that Bucky thought so little of her. She yanked her wrist free, feeling the sting of his grip lingering. "Fine," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Believe what you want."

Without another word, she turned and stormed out, leaving Bucky standing there, torn between confusion and guilt.

A gnawing sense of remorse tugging at him, but he couldn't shake the confusion and anger clouding his mind. "Jen, are you okay?" he asked, helping her to her feet.

Jen, tucking herself to his side, managed to summon a few tears, looking up at Bucky with a feigned innocence. "I don’t know why she hates me so much," she murmured, playing her part perfectly.

Bucky fingers softly traces on her wounded cheek before his gaze switched to y/n’s retreating form, a knot tightening in his chest. He wasn’t sure why those mean words had spouted out of his lips. Was it because he saw Jen injured on the ground and his protective instincts kicked in? Or was it because Jen had been whispering doubts in his ear about y/n’s loyalty, making him question his longtime friend? 

The truth was, Bucky had always relied on y/n’s unwavering support. She had been his rock through the toughest times, and seeing her so furious, so hurt, shook him to his core. Yet, in the heat of the moment, he had lashed out, unable to reconcile the image of Jen crying with the fierce anger that radiated from y/n.

As Bucky comforted Jen, his mind was a storm of conflicting emotions. He couldn't shake the image of hurt on her face, nor could he ignore the nagging feeling that he was missing a crucial piece of the puzzle.

On the side, Sam was only able to watch the scene play out silently, a frown creasing his brow. He had a feeling there was more to this story, and he intended to get to the bottom of it.

As weeks passed, the rift between Bucky and y/n deepened, fueled by Jen's cunning manipulation. In a private conversation, Jen planted seeds of doubt in Bucky's mind, suggesting that y/n harboured hidden resentments and intentions.

"I hate to say it, Bucky, but maybe she's not who we thought she was," Jen insinuated, her voice dripping with false concern. "Maybe she's been hiding her true feelings all along, waiting for the right moment to strike." 

Bucky, already vulnerable and confused after the incident in the training room, absorbed Jen's words like poison, allowing them to fester and take root in his mind. He began to view y/n through a new lens, one tainted by suspicion and distrust. This single conversation, filled with subtle manipulations and insidious suggestions, was all it took to fracture the bond between Bucky and y/n, leaving Bucky cold and distant towards the one person who had always stood by his side.

Most days he would avoid eye contact with her during team meetings, barely acknowledging her presence when they were forced to interact. In training sessions, his instructions to her were curt and clipped, lacking the warmth and camaraderie they once shared. y/n felt each of these interactions like a stab to the heart.

She couldn't understand how quickly Bucky had turned against her, how easily he had accepted Jen's version of events without even giving her a chance to explain. The hurt festered inside her, eating away at her sense of self-worth.

Then one night, as y/n sat alone on the rooftop, staring out into the darkness, Sam found her there. He knew this was where she retreated when she needed space to think, to process her emotions. He approached her cautiously, sitting down beside her without a word.

"Why aren't you at dinner, y/n?" Sam finally asked, breaking the silence. He could see the emptiness in her eyes, the weight of her sorrow pressing down on her.

She shook her head, her voice hollow. "Lost my appetite," she muttered, her gaze still fixed on the horizon.

Sam gently prodded, knowing there was more to her withdrawal than just a lack of hunger. "Is it because of what happened the other day at the training room?" he asked softly.

Instantly, her demeanor shifted. Anger flared in her eyes, directed not just at Jen and Bucky, but at the entire situation. "I don't want to talk about it, Sam," she snapped, her frustration bubbling to the surface. But Sam wasn't one to give up easily, especially when he knew how much y/n was hurting. "Come on, y/n," he urged, his voice gentle but insistent. "You can't keep bottling this up. Talk to me."

Her expression softened slightly at Sam's persistence, but the pain still lingered in her eyes. "Seriously, Sam, please just drop it," she pleaded, her voice wavering with emotion.

Sam could see the cracks forming in her facade, the vulnerability seeping through the tough exterior she usually projected. Without a word, he pulled her into a comforting embrace, letting her bury her face against his shoulder.

As she clung to him, her facade finally crumbled. Her lips trembled, her eyes filled with unshed tears. "He hates me, doesn't he?" she whispered, her voice barely audible over the sound of her own heartbreak. "Bucky hates me."

Sam held her tighter, offering silent comfort as she grappled with the weight of her sorrow. He knew there were no easy answers, no quick fixes to mend the shattered pieces of y/n's heart. But in that moment, all he could do was be there for her, a steady anchor in the storm of her emotions.

The dim glow of the kitchen's overhead light provided a faint sense of solace in the otherwise silent darkness of the compound. Bucky sat at the wooden table, his tired eyes staring blankly at the cup of untouched tea before him. It was a nightly ritual lately, this dance with sleeplessness and the haunting memories that lurked in the shadows of his mind yet again.

Footsteps broke the stillness, and Bucky's gaze shifted to the entrance of the kitchen. y/n stood hesitantly in the doorway, her presence casting a tentative aura over the room. There was a palpable tension between them, an unspoken weight that hung heavy in the air.

She cleared her throat, breaking the awkward silence. "Mind if I join you?" she asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper. She was expecting Bucky to ignore her completely but he didn’t; Bucky simply shrugged nonchalantly, his guard seemed to flatter. "Suit yourself," he muttered.

As she quietly took a seat opposite him, a heavy silence settled between them. Bucky's thoughts churned with a whirlwind of emotions, each one vying for dominance over the others. His guard seemed to falter in the presence of her tentative yet comforting aura. The weight of his own vulnerability loomed large in his mind, drowning out the anger he had harboured towards her.

As the silence stretched between them, she felt a surge of compassion wash over her. She knew why he was awake at this time. She knew that the tea he brewed was to help him sleep. She was the one who planted that habit to him after all.

And despite everything that had transpired between them, she couldn't bear to see Bucky suffer alone. With a deep breath to steady her nerves, she decided to reach out to him, to offer what little comfort she could.

Without a word, y/n rose from her seat and moved to stand behind Bucky's chair. He stiffened at her touch, his muscles tense with apprehension. But as her gentle hands began to massage the tension from his neck, a wave of unexpected relief washed over him.

Her touch was soft and comforting, a stark contrast to the coldness he had grown accustomed to due to Jen’s unwillingness to acknowledge this side of him. She ran her fingers through his hair, coaxing him to relax, to let go of the burdens that weighed heavily on his shoulders. For a brief moment, Bucky allowed himself to forget the walls he had built around his heart. In her presence, her voice, and her touch; he felt a glimmer of hope, a flicker of warmth that he had long since forgotten.

But then, like a sudden gust of wind extinguishing a fragile flame, the weight of Jen's words came crashing back down upon him. Anger flared within him, hot and fierce, directed not only at y/n but at himself for allowing his heart to yearn for her.

He pushed himself away from the table, his movements sharp and abrupt. "I don't need your pity, y/n," he spat, his words laced with bitterness. "Just leave me alone."

With that, he stormed out of the kitchen, leaving y/n alone in the suffocating silence.The disbelief that clouded her thoughts gave way to a searing agony that twisted in her chest. How could he say such things? How could he push her away so callously, after everything they had shared?

y/n buried her face in her hands, her body trembling with the force of her sobs. The weight of her shattered dreams pressed down on her, crushing her spirit beneath its merciless grip. She had never felt so alone, so utterly abandoned by the one person she had trusted above all others.

The pain of losing Bucky, of losing the love that had sustained her through the darkest of times, threatened to consume her whole. Each breath felt like a struggle, each heartbeat a painful reminder of the emptiness that now filled her soul.

In that moment of crushing despair, she couldn't help but believe that Bucky truly hated her. The thought tore through her like a knife, leaving behind a raw, gaping wound that no amount of time or distance could ever hope to heal.

As she sat alone in the suffocating silence of the kitchen, y/n felt the full weight of her heartbreak descend upon her like a tidal wave. She was lost in a sea of pain and sorrow, drowning in the agony of losing someone she had loved so deeply, so completely. And in that moment, she couldn't help but wonder if she would ever find her way back to the surface again.

Unbeknownst to her, Bucky lingered just out of sight, his heart heavy with guilt. He wanted to go back, to take back his harsh words and hold her close, to chase away the tears that stained her cheeks. But the poison in his mind was too strong, clouding his judgement and trapping him in a cycle of self-destructive despair. And so, with a heavy heart, he turned and walked away, leaving y/n to cry alone in the darkness.

The mission had already been tense enough, but as y/n found herself face to face with Jen in a location she wasn't supposed to be, the atmosphere crackled with an added layer of hostility. It was as if fate had conspired to place them in this confrontation, and her jaw clenched involuntarily as she braced herself for what was to come.

Jen's presence in that spot was no coincidence, and she knew it. Her suspicions were confirmed as Jen turned to face her, a smirk playing on her lips, a gleam of malice in her eyes. y/n's grip tightened on her weapon, her pulse quickening as she prepared for the verbal assault she knew was coming.

"How does it feel, knowing that Bucky hates you now?" Jen's words sliced through the air like a knife, each syllable carrying the weight of y/n’s deepest fears. It was a direct hit, striking at the core of her insecurities, and for a moment, she felt as though the ground had been ripped out from beneath her feet.

But she refused to let Jen see her falter. With a steely resolve, she squared her shoulders and met Jen's gaze head-on, her expression a mask of defiance. She may have been shaken by Jen's words, but she refused to let them break her.

Ignoring the taunts, she focused on the mission at hand, determined to prove her worth despite Jen's attempts to undermine her. But with each passing moment, the weight of Jen's words hung heavy in the air, casting a shadow over y/n’s every move.

It was a battle on two fronts – against the enemy they faced together, and against the doubts that threatened to consume her from within. But she refused to back down, drawing strength from the knowledge that she fought not just for herself, but for the team she believed in with all her heart.

But Jen's relentless barrage of insults made it difficult to concentrate, her words like daggers slicing through y/n’s defenses.

"Aww come on y/n, bet you’re reeling in the loss right now, aren’t you." Jen continued, her voice ice cold. "The Asset’s little lapdog, clinging to him like a lost puppy."

y/n’s temper flared at the insult, her grip tightening on her weapon as she fought to keep her emotions in check. But Jen's mocking laughter only fueled the fire burning within her, pushing her to the brink of her patience. "Shut your mouth, Jen," she growled, her voice low and dangerous. "Or I swear to God, I'll make sure that the team finds your body disassembled in one of these rooms."

Jen simply rolled her eyes, unfazed by her threat. "You love him that much, huh?" y/n had no intention to deny that fact; she does love him, "More than you ever could." her voice was firm and true. Jen’s smirk fell as she scoffed. "Ain't that cute, the Winter Soldier and his little psycho sweetheart."

Before y/n could respond, a voice cut through the tension like a knife, freezing her in place. It was Bucky, his expression dark and stormy as he stepped into view. "What's going on here?" he demanded, his eyes narrowing in suspicion as he took in the scene before him.

y/n’s heart sank as she realized that Bucky might have heard everything. She turned around to meet his eyes and his face confirmed her suspicion; he heard it.  Bucky had heard everything – every taunt, every insult, every word exchanged between her and Jen; even the confession of her true feelings. She met his gaze; searching for some sign of understanding of his emotions and the little that she saw was: disappointment, betrayal and guilt, mirrored back at her in the depths of his stormy blue eyes. 

In that moment, all she wanted to do was pull him into her arms, to pull him away from all the painful memories and hurtful words; so far away that he would forget he had ever been taunted, betrayed, or made to feel less than he was.

Before she could utter a word, let alone take a step towards him, Jen's voice broke through, but it lacked the usual confidence. "Bucky, it's not what you think," she stammered, her eyes darting nervously between Bucky and y/n. "I-I was just..."

y/n’s clenched her jaw, her patience wearing thin as Jen stumbled over her words, unable to come up with a coherent explanation. She could see the confusion and hurt in Bucky's eyes, a reflection of the turmoil raging within her own heart.

"I-I mean," Jen continued, her voice faltering. "I was...um...just trying to...uh..."

But her feeble attempts to justify her actions only served to further incense Bucky. His brow furrowed in anger, his fists clenched at his sides as he struggled to make sense of the situation.

"Enough," he growled, his voice low and dangerous. "I don't want to hear any more lies."

y/n’s heart ached as she watched Bucky's expression darken with anger and disappointment. She wanted to explain, to tell him the truth about Jen's betrayal and her own misguided attempt to defend him. But the words caught in her throat, choked by the weight of her guilt and regret.

With a heavy sigh, Bucky turned away, his shoulders slumped with defeat. "Let's just finish the mission," he muttered, his voice heavy with exhaustion. "We'll deal with this later."

As he was about to walk away, y/n noticed a red dot on his chest, the unmistakable mark of a sniper's laser sight. Without thinking twice, she leaped towards him, her body acting as a human shield. Time seemed to slow down as she collided with Bucky, pushing him out of the way.

"y/n, no!" Bucky shouted, his voice filled with panic as her body slumped against his chest.

In the chaos, Jen was nowhere to be seen. She had slipped away, taking shelter and ultimately fleeing the area as she heard multiple footsteps approaching.

Bucky tried to pull up his gun, but it was too late. An array of bullets rained down on them. He felt the searing pain of a few shots piercing his own flesh, but it was nothing compared to the sight of y/n’s body being riddled with bullets. She was hit in the shoulder, wrist, thighs, and other places Bucky couldn't even register.

Rage surged through Bucky like an inferno, obliterating any semblance of restraint. He moved with a deadly precision, his eyes blazing with fury as he unleashed a storm of bullets on the enemy. His movements were swift and unforgiving, every shot finding its mark with brutal accuracy. The enemy fell one by one, their bodies collapsing in lifeless heaps. The air was filled with the deafening sound of gunfire and the acrid smell of gunpowder, but Bucky's focus was unyielding.

Within moments, the room was cleared, the enemies wiped out in a flurry of rage-fueled vengeance.

The adrenaline ebbed away, leaving Bucky standing amidst the carnage, his chest heaving. He turned, and his eyes fell on y/n's crumpled form. The sight of her lying in a pool of her own blood shattered his rage, replacing it with a crushing wave of worry and panic.

"Hang in there. Please," Bucky hastily spoke, his voice trembling. He activated his com line, desperation seeping into his tone. "Guys, we need help. y/n... she's... she's been shot. We need to get out of here right now!" Panic coursed through him as he turned his attention back to y/n, frantically trying to stop the bleeding on her stomach. "y/n, doll…please" he pleaded, watching her hazy gaze. "Don't you dare give up on me now. Come on."

"babydoll, stay with me!" Bucky cried, his voice breaking as he cradled her in his arms. Blood soaked through her clothes, staining his hands. "Please, hang on, you can’t leave yet. I haven't told you... I haven't—" 

Her eyes fluttered open, her breathing shallow and ragged. "It's okay, Bucky," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the chaos. "It's okay. Don't cry." Her shaking hands struggled to move, and with great effort, she managed to cup Bucky's cheek. The gesture was weak but filled with tenderness. "It's okay," she repeated, her fingers trembling against his skin.

"Don't talk like that," Bucky choked out, his own tears mingling with the blood on his face. "You can't.. I haven't told you...please doll..." His voice wavered with the weight of unspoken words and unconfessed feelings. He hadn't told her how much he truly cared for her, how every moment spent away from her felt like an eternity. He hadn't begged for forgiveness for his coldness, his mistakes, and for letting Jen's poison taint his actions. The guilt gnawed at him, each heartbeat a reminder of the words he hadn't said, the emotions he hadn't expressed. 

He pressed her hand harder against his cheek, feeling the warmth of her touch anchoring him in the moment.Her hand weakly brushing against his cheek. "I know, sweetheart," she murmured. "I know."

Bucky's heart shattered as he clung to her, feeling her life slipping away. "No, no, no," he muttered desperately. "You can't leave me. Please, y/n. Please."

She smiled faintly, her eyes closing. "I'm here, Bucky. I'm right here."

With a final, shuddering breath, y/n’s consciousness slipped away. Bucky felt a surge of panic, but he knew he had to move. He lifted her limp body, cradling her against his chest as he ran towards the quinjet. Each step was agony, his own injuries slowing him down, but he didn't care. All that mattered was getting y/n to safety.

"Hang on, y/n," he whispered, his voice trembling. "Hang on. I won't let you go."

In the sterile environment of the medical bay, y/n lay unconscious, her body hooked up to various machines that monitored her vital signs. Bucky sat by her bedside, his eyes red-rimmed and swollen from crying. Every beep of the monitor seemed to echo through the silence, a haunting reminder of her fragile state. He held her hand, his thumb gently caressing her bandaged wrist.

Memories of their time together flooded Bucky's mind, each one a bittersweet reminder of the connection they shared. He remembered the laughter they had shared, the late-night conversations that stretched into the early hours of the morning. He remembered the gentle touch of her hand, the warmth of her smile that never failed to chase away the darkness.

But amidst the memories, there was also pain – the pain of their last conversation, the words left unsaid and the choices left unmade. Bucky's throat tightened as he recalled the day he had walked away from Jen, the air thick with tension and unspoken truths.

His voice was cold and final. "You almost got her killed, Jen," he had said, his eyes blazing with anger. "Stay away from us. Stay away from me."

Jen's eyes had flashed with anger, her words cutting like knives as she lashed out in frustration. "And what, you think you'll find someone better than me?" she had spat, her voice dripping with venom. "Good luck with that, Bucky. You'll never find anyone who would put up with your baggage."

But Bucky had remained resolute, his decision fueled by a sense of longing and regret that threatened to consume him whole. "Maybe not," he had admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I'd rather be alone than with someone who doesn't truly care about me."

Now, as Bucky sat by y/n’s bedside, the weight of his decision bore down on him like a crushing weight. Tears welled in his eyes as he reached out to gently brush a strand of hair away from her face, his fingers trembling with emotion.

"I'm so sorry, babydoll," he whispered, his voice thick with unshed tears. "I never meant for any of this to happen. So, please, wake up. I need you."

But y/n remained unconscious, her breathing shallow and weak as she lay before him. And as Bucky watched over her, his heart heavy with worry and regret, he vowed to do whatever it took to bring her back to him, to keep her safe from harm for all eternity.

For in that moment, Bucky realized that he couldn't bear to lose her – not now, not ever. She was his rock, his anchor in a world of uncertainty and pain. And as he held her hand tightly in his own, he prayed with all his heart that she would find her way back to him, to the love and light that had always guided them through the darkness.

The soft hum of machines filled the air as y/n stirred awake, her senses slowly coming back to her. She blinked, disoriented at first, until her gaze fell upon Bucky, who was sleeping soundly in the chair beside her bed. His hands were clasped tightly around hers, his face peaceful in slumber, but she couldn't help but notice the tear stains on his cheeks, the dark circles under his eyes, the worry lines etched into his forehead.

"How long has it been since?" she wondered to herself, her heart aching at the sight of Bucky's exhausted form. She carefully sat up, trying not to disturb him as she lovingly examined his sleeping face. She couldn't help but smile as she gently ran her fingers through his hair, the soft strands slipping through her fingertips.

Bucky groaned as his sleep was interrupted, muttering something about Sam needs to leave him be; before he abruptly sat up, his eyes wide with disbelief. "Hi there," y/n greeted softly, her eyes sparkling with affection as she watched Bucky's reaction.

For a moment, Bucky seemed unable to comprehend that she was finally awake. His eyes widened in disbelief, his mouth slightly agape. But then the realization hit him, and he threw himself at her, wrapping her in a tight embrace as if she were the most precious thing in the world .Despite the pain that shot through her body, she managed to let out a soft chuckle, returning his embrace with equal fervor. The warmth of his embrace chased away the lingering chill of unconsciousness, and for a moment, everything felt right.

"y/n..." Bucky breathed into her neck, his voice trembling with emotion. She hummed in response, her heart swelling for him. "Hmmm?"

Not wanting to let go of her, Bucky called her name once again, his voice wavering with uncertainty. "y/n-..." She paused, her lips curving into a tender smile as she whispered in his ear, "Yes, Bucky?"

Bucky tightened his grip, his breath hitching in his throat as he buried his face in her shoulder. y/n gently rubbed his back, her touch soothing and comforting as she reassured him, "I'm here, sweetheart." The scent of her hair, the feel of her warmth against him—it all felt overwhelming. Emotions churned inside him like a tempest. Relief, guilt, love, and fear battled for dominance, leaving him raw and exposed.

She gently rubbed his back, her touch soothing and comforting as she reassured him, "Bucky, I'm not going anywhere.

Bucky's mind raced, images of the past few weeks flashing before his eyes. He remembered the coldness with which he'd treated her, the cruel words that had slipped from his lips, fueled by Jen's poison. He thought of the sleepless nights, the nightmares that had gripped him, and the aching void he'd felt every time he saw y/n’s hurt expression.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, his voice muffled against her shoulder. "For everything. For not believing you. For pushing you away."

Reluctantly, she pulled away, but not before wiping the tears from Bucky's cheeks and fighting the urge to place a tender kiss on his forehead. As she looked into his eyes, she could see the depth of his love and the pain he had endured for her sake. And in that moment, she knew that she had found her home in his arms. Bucky took her hands in his own, his eyes closed as he pressed a kiss to her wounded wrists. "This will never happen again. Ever," he vowed, his voice filled with determination.

Moved by his words, y/n felt her heart flutter with emotion. She realized in that moment that she could never stay angry at him, no matter what had transpired between them. She understood now that they were both at fault, both victims of circumstance and misunderstanding.

With a surge of courage, she reached out and pulled Bucky into a kiss. Her lips met his in a slow, passionate embrace, pouring all of her love and forgiveness into the tender gesture. It was a moment of connection, of healing, of reaffirming their bond despite the trials they had faced.

The taste of Bucky's lips was like a soothing salve to her soul; it was intoxicating. It felt as if the world had fallen away, leaving only the two of them entwined in each other's arms. When they finally broke apart, Bucky whispered those three words that y/n had longed to hear, "I love you."

Her heart soared with joy, and she couldn't help but tease him, "Took you long enough." her teasing words met with a cheeky grin from Bucky.  "I love you too, Bucky" she blinked slowly. As he whispered softly under his breath, "Come here," he pulled her back into the kiss, their lips meeting in a tender embrace that spoke volumes of their unspoken love. And in that moment, amidst the chaos and uncertainty of their world, they found solace in each other's arms, knowing that together, they could weather any storm.

Read my other works here: Masterlist

A/N: I just needed to let this out lmao. It's been stuck in my head for several weeks. Thank you for spending your time reading this crap... honestly. Love you so much 🤍

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

If your taking requests can you please do Yandere Tengen uzui and his wives with a reader who died and was born as Tengens wives. ( a bit like recantation mawhnas)

Reincarnated Wife to be | Yandere Uzui Tengen + Wives

Being reborn into the world of shinobi is hard

Your higher intelligence is helpful for somethings but it still doesn’t compare to strength training before you can properly walk

Not to mention its the Taishō era 

Everything is different 

No plumbing 

No typical school

And on top of all that demons are alive and well

In your new lifetime demons don’t physically appear until your early teens

“That man…”

“Yeah a demon. Those overpowered slugs got to our target before us.”

It’s brutal 

That the clan you come from was just so nonchalant of an epidemic on humanity

That was arguably much more brutal then sending a shuriken before an unsuspecting person’s eyes

You only realize they intend to give you away when you hear whispers of the arranged marriage

“He’s the only one who’s survived…”

“Ah he must have the best genes…”

“....or the only one who actually can learn from those graves on their property.”

“What are they at….six?”

The final nail in the coffin is when your prepped to meet with your fellow wives

“Make sure you take note of their weaknesses. It’ll make all the difference when it comes to his favorites.”

Your hesitant

By now you recognize the venue, your sister wives, his surname

But despite how cool it is you don’t want to marry the future sound hashira

You know how it goes 

And your not sure if you’d survive with your addition to the other wives

So you run

Using your built up skill and knowledge to get as far as you can from your family if you could call it that

Your plan is to hide in someplace until you can gather enough wisteria to give yourself a private sanctuary

In the meantime you try to find the mineral of nichirin

Enough for you to craft a decent weapon that bodes well when demons occassionaly attack you

For years you’re sure your scott-free 

Able to slowly widdle at the demon’s population in your little sanctuary 

That is until you stop at the sound of jingling chains from the roof

“I heard there were talks about a mysterious ninja outside of demon corp! To think it’d be just who I was looking for!” 

You barely escape a young but powerful demon slayer who you can’t seem to decipher

Is he trying to kill you? 

To catch you?

Why does he keep following?

You hold up pretty well for a while unil you narrowly dodge a star thrown in your direction

“We really liked you (Y/n). Why’d you choose to run away?”

If it wasn’t worse already all three of them seem to arrive from the shadows to continue their assault

You try to reason with them 

“Can’t you understand?! I didn’t want to be forced to marry some guy I didn’t know!”

“But you knew us! Doesn’t that make it better?!”

“No it really doesn’t!”

It’s getting overwhelming 

So unless you’ve mastered some kind of style of your own

They’ll overpower you

“Yack!” 

Your strength is preying on their care for one another 

Sending an unusual violent kick toward Hinatsuru 

You take advantage of them running to help her

Easily disarming a distracted Tengen, you run off 

But you aren’t home free 

For whatever reason your ex-fiancees are just so hung up about you 

And between Uzui’s new occupation he’s aiming for your capture

“You’re just as flashy as I’d hoped! When I do win, there’s sure to be fireworks.”

[fatkish]

Tengen and his wives with an omega reader please

Alpha Tengen+Wives x Omega Reader

When he learned that an Omega passed and survived final selection he didn’t believe it. He doubted the rumors until he was faced with the proof

You first met briefly during Tanjiro and Nezuko’s trial at demon slayer headquarters

When you fiercely defended and protected Nezuko’s box, not letting anyone take it from you, he thought it was cute

And when you cut yourself and released your scent in front of Nezuko, to prove that she would never hurt anyone, he wanted to behead her and steal you away from danger

He thought your bold move was flashy and he wanted to get to know you

When he learned that Ubuyashiki wanted each pillar to spend time training you to improve your strength, he was upset that he wasn’t your first choice but he agreed to train you after Rengoku

When he got home and told his wives about you they were excited and couldn’t wait to meet you

His wives always wanted an Omega to love and dote on, being betas, they always hoped to have an omega for Tengen to spend his ruts with

Suma was so excited and couldn’t stop talking about future pups and started crying knowing she’d have to wait

Makio was stunned when Tengen told her about your fighting and she was impressed by your reported strength

Hinatsuru just smiled seeing everyone so excited to have an omega in their home for two weeks, even if it was to train the omega’s strength

When the time came for you to spend your two weeks with them, Rengoku walked you over to Tengens house before leaving you with him

Tengen happily brought you inside and showed you around, only for you to be tackled by a crying Suma. Who was then pulled off you by an angry Makio. Then chaos ensued

You just watched and had no idea what to do

Eventually things settled down and you decided you wanted to train, so Tengen had you follow him to the backyard and had you show him each of your breathing forms

Being a musical breather, your breathing technique was similar to Tengen’s sound breathing, to which he was curious about. He thought your technique was flashy and he was interested in your unique weapon

When you sat down with him and showed him your nunchucks, you explained how you use them and even went on to explain how you made them

Needless to say, he was surprised by your craftsmanship and asked about your skills and how you gained them. You told him about being raised by the swordsmiths that forge the demon slayers swords and how they collectively raised you

Tengen and his wives gave you all the necessary materials to build a nest out of. You built a large nest and allowed for them to enter the nest

Suma immediately snuggled up to you whilst Tengen, Hinatsuru and Makio restrained themselves, not that they didn’t want to cuddle with you, they just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable

When it came to meal time, you helped his wives make food and you all ate together

Tengen couldn’t help but picture you with a swollen belly, pregnant with his pups, smiling as he and his wives doted on and provided for you. You’d be the perfect little addition to his family and would make them complete

Tengen was a tease and often made jokes about things like your height, asking if you needed help reaching things or resting his arm on your head, all in good fun

His wives loved to dress you up and had you put on little fashion shows, to which Tengen happily became the judge of

All in all, it was hectic but fun staying in the Uzui household

When you had to leave, Suma was bawling her eyes out and begging you not to go, to which Makio got mad and began a small fight leading to chaos breaking out

You waved goodbye as you set off towards your next Hashira to train with, as Tengen watched you walk away, Hinatsuru noticed Tengen staring at your ass and shook her head

Tengen was determined to make you his and become your alpha, he’d just have to be patient

[pcrfectstorms]

i am so fucking stressed today, i actually want to cry. literally having the worst week.

[meowpupp]

as a thank you for hitting 1k followers, and an apology for my absence, I would like to share my take on poly!141.

poly141! x recruit!reader. 1.5k words. mentions of sex, although no smut. yet.

you're a sweet little thing. smart as a whip, nerdy, and confident. having spent most of your post highschool graduate years studying, youve acquired numerous impressive qualifications. while most people your age in university were out partying, getting blind drunk, hooking up, you were studying.

a tech genius. that's what laswell had sold you as to price. he had been hesitant to allow any new members at all, especially ones so young. and yet, taskforce 141 sees two new additions. the newest little tech genius who's climbing quickly through the ranks, and another soldier. someone by the name of roach.

at first, you weren't amused. as a woman in the military, your life was already difficult enough. being assigned to an all male taskforce felt like your worst nightmare. but after some convincing from laswell, and realizing this would be the fastest way to make a name for yourself, you sign the papers.

your first week is smooth, albeit awkward. you and the other new recruit, roach, get along fairly well. he's funny, a little dorky, but obviously skilled. he isn't as intimidating as the others, being almost as young as you. you find yourself gravitating to him often, often staying up late together, eating meals together, and even training together. you make quick friends.

and so, it's only natural that you both end up becoming… closer. late night talks turn into makeouts, and makeouts turn into grinding. it's somewhat clumsy however… as if the two of you can quite place the power dynamics.

the others, however, are much more of a challenge to get along with. you're cautious, aware these men have been in this business much longer than you. the four of them- price, ghost, gaz, and soap- are a power unit. it takes weeks for you to find your place within the team.

price tries to be welcoming, although it doesn't quite work. there's this sense of authority and power around him that makes you feel small, almost submissive. his gruff voice sends shivers down your spine each time he speaks over comms, panties growing wet each time he gives you a direct order.

it's almost as if he knows, whispering your name rather than your military nickname. his voice sounds almost seductive. it makes you feel like a pervert, imagining him growling in your ear each time you get off.

price has a way of always remaining in control and not just with you. the power dynamics within the task force are subtle yet well established. there seems to be a chain of command that follows their ranks. price on top, then ghost, then gaz and soap. you notice how they all drop casual innuendos, their affection for each other, corssing over the boundary of just friendliness.

ghost barely looks, let alone, speaks to you for the first month. you're unsure if he even likes you. on the field, he's sharp and alert. you occasionally hear him share banter with the others, but never feel brave enough to join in. the man is intimidating, almost three times your size, a quiet sort of confidence and dominance that follows him around. he's the one you train with most often.

ghost is ruthless. he slams you into the matt, somehow always ending up between your thighs, his big hands holding them apart and pinning you down. you can't help but memorise the sight. your Lieutenant, panting, slightly sweat as he holding you in such a lewd position, glaring down at you.

it's your favourite fantasy to think about late at night as you touch yourself, unaware that the walls are so thin that ghost himself hears you whimper his name. he strokes himself in time with the slick noises of your cunt, imagining how desperate you must look.

gaz isn't intimidating, per say. he isn't distant like ghost or unapproachable like price. the man has such a casual confidence and arrogance around him. he's the first to speak to you, ask you about yourself. throughout your career, you've met many military soldiers. most the men fit into two categories, misogynistic dicks who don't believe you have a place within the ranks, or disgusting perverts who want a quick fuck (most of them have wives, even kids.) but gaz is refreshing. he fits into neither.

he often starts conversations with you. asking questions and truly listening as you speak. little do you know he records each one, saving them for when he's alone late at night. something about the way you speak, your tone, the quiet rasp or accent, it makes him stupidly hard. he's not above recording you while you workout, standing just close enough to capture each huff and grunt as you lift. it's those recordings that get him off the quickest, wondering how whiny youd sound if he held a vibrator to your clit, didnt let up until you were crying and covered in slick.

and soap. the man is difficult for you to read. your first impression is that he's one of those men who fit into the ‘misogynistic asshole’ category. apart from your initial meeting, he practically ignores you.

you can tell its not deliberate. he just seems more immersed in the natural, pre-established dynamic of the taskforce. the one that doesn't include you. it takes a while, but after a month or two, your interactions become more common.

he turns out to be very respectful- even helpful. due to your background in tech, you skipped a few ranks when you joined. soap helps you in the shooting range. standing behind you, body pressing into yours from behind, correcting your posture before you fire.

you even create games with each other. he gives you little quizzes. theyre normally about gun components, military jargon, or even field upgrades. with each quiz he promises a ‘reward.’

its embarrassing whenever you blush and grow wet when he says it. the rough growl of his voice, combined with the accent he has, all makes you dizzy. you don't even notice how he plays it up, practically purring out the word, smirking as you squirm, making sure to graze his fingertips over your hot skin.

it's obvious that after a month or two, that roach is significantly more acclimated than you. it feels unfair. your relationship with each member is steadily growing, yet something about how roach interacts with them is so different. it's like you're missing a puzzle piece.

it isn't until one night when you're venting your frustration that roach reveals the reason he's clicked with them so quickly.

“It's like an initiation,” he smirks, eyes flicking away from you, “think of it kind of like…. hazing.” his eyes are almost predatory as he meets yours again, so unlike the goofy persona he usually has, “if you like, I could speak to price. they have started to discuss inviting you in.”

it's as if everything made sense now. it wasn't your fault. it was another case of discrimination, you being left out because you didn't fit into their stupid boys club.

ever since that conversation with roach, you have become frustrated, irritable, and short with them all. you fulfilled all your required tasks but refused to engage with them any further. denying invites to the pub, ignoring gaz when he tried to speak, training alone, no longer asking soap for help.

after about a week of this, price calls you to his office.

a sick sense of unease and anxiety settles in your gut. the man is so intimidating, and this surely wasn't a positive meeting. you've never been in a position like this. all throughout school, you were a grade A student, and within your years in the military, you've always maintained basic respect and politeness. you've never been in trouble with a CO.

when you step into his office, however, all your expectations are subverted. price sits at his desk, smoking a cigar. roach leans against it next to him. the two of them are speaking lowly.

price notices you first. his eyes carry an emotion you haven't seen before. lust. he's staring at you as if you're some sort of prey. with a smirk, he blows out a large puff of smoke. it curls around him, only making him more intimidating.

“if you were feeling excluded, sweetheart, you should've made me aware.” he leans back in his chair. suddenly, the room feels so small, your body getting hot, “id be more than happy to include you.”

roach walks towards you, guiding you further into the office. he doesn't let you sit, however, instead standing behind you, hands groping your hips. his fingertips slip under your shirt, brushing the sensitive skin of your stomach.

he kisses your neck, “price wants to see how pretty you are,” his hands slide further up, taking your shirt off, “let's give him a show, yeah?”

cont.

[pomefioredove]

Can I pretty please have The housewardens (Plus Ruggie and Rook) with a kawaii metal singer? Like soft feminine voice and cutesy outfits and then on stage is just death screaming and gets embarrassed because apparently "Guys find it embarrassing when fem people metal scream."

interesting... I'll see what I can do!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ kawaii metal singer

type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, ruggie, azul, kalim, vil, rook, idia, malleus additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral but implied feminine in the way they dress, reader is not specified to be yuu

imagine having a conversation about music with Riddle

he's pleasantly surprised!

he thought he had nothing in common with you

but you're a musician!

to him, mastering an instrument is akin to mastering a subject or acing an exam

and he'll talk your ear off about his favorite composers and concertos

of course, he's curious about what you play

so, you show him a song

and he's...

...well...

it's... music, he supposes

it takes the same skill to play (perhaps even more?) so he's still impressed. just... surprised!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Leona's reaction? yawn

a musician is just like a theater kid with a weapon

based on the way you dress, he can already guess

piano? pop? wannabe indie?

undoubtedly something upbeat and fast

that he has no interest in

it's not until he starts hearing the whispers that he gives it a second thought

funny enough, it's the other boy's dislike that draws him in

and, oh, was he wrong

the first time Leona hears you screaming, he's smitten

you've got some voice on you, that's for sure

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Ruggie already associates femininity with strength

(whether you're girl or not, mind you)

so, he's not really taken aback or 'nothin

you show him a clip of one of your performances, and his reaction is more like:

"Cool. Nice chords. What's for dinner?"

he knows that not everyone is gonna see it that way

but to him, it's nothing to write home about

...unless he thinks you're gonna be a good provider for him

then he might tell his grandma he's bringing you home for break

"How much do you singers make, anyway?"

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

now, Azul was captivated from the start

when Jade came back to him with intel on you, he wasn't expecting you to be a singer

how intriguing...

Azul is a musical person himself, so, of course he was curious

but it's not until he tries to strike a deal with you that he realizes he was very, very wrong

your voice in exchange for anything you desire...

...and you start laughing at him

"my voice? do you know what I sing?"

Azul is a little taken aback by your reaction

now, what's so funny?

eventually, you share a little of your work, and he...

...well, he's impressed, that's for sure

it takes a lot of vocal training to be able to do that

but unless Floyd takes up a new hobby, he has no use for a metal singer's voice

so, for now, he'll simply admire your talent from afar

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

People tend to see Kalim as this witless little flower who can't be exposed to anything "scary"

and, sure, he can be naive at times

but it actually takes a lot to freak him out

he's also been hanging out with Lilia Vanrouge for two years, so, you know

he'd just be impressed, if anything

"Wow, that's so cool! I wish I could do that, but my voice can't go that high, and Jamil doesn't want me to hurt my throat..."

I mean, really impressed

he'll beg you to show him all of your songs

and he might try to get you to one of his club meetings, too

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Vil is more like,

"Well, I hope you're taking adequate care of your throat. You'll overexert yourself if not,"

...so, no

he's not even phased by it

Vil is a performer himself, after all

he's more concerned with your physical and mental wellbeing than you being "embarrassing"

the next day, he'll show up at your door with an armful

this is for your throat, this will keep your skin from drying out under the lights, this foundation is designed for stage...

he's always been generous, after all

and he certainly won't accept no for an answer

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

similarly, Rook doesn't think anything of it

he's simply taken by you

...your devotion, your energy, your heart!

sometimes he, too, feels like screaming for his passions!

you can expect him to be your number one fan

and be at each of your performances, whether small or big, on stage or just in your room

(whether you know he's there or not)

he always seems to know just what to get you, though. tea with honey? salt water for your throat?

he's thought of it before you even have to ask

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Idia is fangirling over it before he even meets you

listen, in his defense-

one of his favorite animes is about a kawaii metal singer!

and he was already familiar with the genre, anyway

so... no, it's not weird to him

if anything, he feels weird for never being able to talk to you about it

it's basically like talking to one of his idols IRL

whether you're a well-known performer or just make videos online is irrelevant to him

you'll be receiving a lot of anonymous donations from someone named gloomurai

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

when Lilia makes an offhand comment about your music, Malleus is intrigued

you'd never mentioned being a musician, after all

the next time you see each other, he asks

but, much to his confusion, you seem... embarrassed?

he quickly explains he only heard it from Lilia, and didn't mean to offend you, and-

ah...

that's why you're embarrassed?

you think he won't like you because others have said it's unbecoming?

humans are so strange, he thinks

it's only music, after all. it'd take much more to make him dislike you

besides, this is Lilia's foster son we're talking about. he's been exposed to every genre at least once

[leth-writes]

bait

SUMMARY: Damian would like to welcome you to the family.

WARNINGS: 18+ as always on my blog, though the work is safe for work. Typical yandere shenanigans.

MASTERLIST: https://www.tumblr.com/leth-writes/757800060720496640/requests-open?source=share 

Requests are open!

Normally, Damian would hate being babied. He was a trained assassin, the blood of Ra’as Al Ghoul ran through his veins, he was the son of the feared Bat! And yet, here he was, sitting in your kitchen, watching you make him some (vegan) mac n’ cheese. 

Originally, Damian did not understand the obsession his family seemed to have with you. He spent days complaining, stomping around the manor, irritated that his family was wasting time with some… weakling. It seemed that every time he walked into a room, the only topic of discussion was you.

As one of the newer additions to the family, and a biological one at that, it seemed he had missed out on something vital to his family. So, he decided to just… ask, as his father would advise,  just why they were wasting time on someone who wouldn’t ever be able to adhere to the illustrious standards his family had set. 

The person he decided on was Grayson, someone he normally looked up to.

He sat across from his older brother, who was preoccupied with that insipid app that Drake had designed, keeping track of your vitals and ensuring your safety. Finally, fed up with being ignored, Damian cleared his throat to alert his brother of his presence.

Grayson looked up and beamed, bouncing up to flop down next to Damian. 

“What’s up, lil’ D?” Grayson asked, voice jovial even as he spared a glance at his screen.

“Tt. Grayson, I must… request your assistance.”

“Anything for you, lil’ D!” Grayson leaned over and rustled Damian’s hair. Damian, annoyed, fixed his hair and leaned away.

“I do not… I do not understand your recent… Preoccupation. It seems the family has decided, rather unanimously, that we will be gaining a new member. I do not understand why we must lower our standards!” He huffed, crossing his arms.

Grayson’s eyes softened. “Oh, lil’ D. It’s alright, you’re new, we should’ve known this would be confusing…” He looked away, staring out the window for a second, letting out a little sigh. 

“I’m not really sure how to explain it, but sometimes, sometimes people, especially people like us, get… passionate. Dinah likes to explain it away as the way we… deal with the constant loss, the uncertainty. Vigilantes don’t ever do anything in halves, afterall.”

“But why, but why them? They have nothing to add to our family, Grayson! They cannot fight, they are not trained, they have no extraordinary skills!” Damian huffed.

“Well, it doesn’t always make sense, Damian, and it doesn’t need to. Sometimes, sometimes people just… click, it doesn’t always have to make logical sense. I think if you got to know them, maybe you’d understand it a bit better.”

Grayson smiled, looking back at Damian. Damian looked away, blushing. He didn’t like not getting something; it made him feel vulnerable, weak, like he was missing out on something everyone else just seemed to get.

“And this is, this is… typical, for vigilantes such as our family?” He asked, voice quiet with mortification. Grayson smiled softly.

“Of course, Lil’ D. There’s nothing wrong with being passionate, and there’s no way we’re gonna let someone else get hurt. I mean, just think about it; do you think they could defend themselves?” 

Damian shook his head.

“And there’s no way they’ll be able to defend themselves. As vigilantes, especially in Gotham, we see the truth, we see how nasty the world can truly be. Most civilians just don’t get it. So, I think we can be forgiven for being a little intense, right?” He laughed, elbowing Damian gently.

“I mean, just think about Jon getting hurt.” 

Damian scowled. “I would not allow it. It would never happen.” He said, certainty clear in his voice.

Grayson snorted. “I know, Lil’ D. I’m just using him as an example; now take those feelings, and imagine if Jon couldn’t defend himself. “

“I-I do not know what I would do.”

“And that’s okay, you’ll get it eventually, okay? It’s hard to come to terms with, at first.”

“I still do not understand why you have chosen such an unworthy target for your affections, but I will… try. To understand.” Damian looked down, face tinged slightly red in embarrassment. 

Grayson ruffled his hair again, and peeked at his screen. “Maybe ask Cass to take you, or Jason? I have a shift in a little while. I’m sure they’d be willing to help you, Damian. It’s okay to have questions, to not get it. It’ll click eventually.”

So, Damian did.

While embarrassing, the idea of not getting something that was clearly of high importance to his family rankled in his chest. So, he approached Cain and asked for her help.

She was in her studio, as she normally was at noon on the weekends, working on a new routine. Damian paused in the door, waiting for her to finish up. No matter how many times he saw her, especially during her performances, he was always surprised by just how graceful the young woman managed to be.

It was normal for his family to move with a lithe grace, especially Grayson, who seemed to move so fluidly he lacked a skeletal structure, couldn’t compete with the natural poise Cain held herself with.

She finished up her routine with a flourish, then rose to her feet with a sigh. She floated over to her water bottle and took a sip, before turning around to face Damian. She smiled gently, eyes crinkling at the corners, her slightly damp choppy black hair framing her face perfectly.

“Little brother,” she said, delight clear in her voice. 

“Cain,” Damian greeted, nodding his head and moving into the room.

Cain sank to the floor, back against the mirrored wall, and patted the wooden floor next to her. 

“Sit,” she said.

He did. There was no refusing Cain, after all.

“You seem… confused.” She glanced over at him, taking another small sip.

“Yes. I do not… Understand the new obsession you have all taken with that Civilian.”

Cain nodded. “Yes.”

“Grayson explained the general feelings of protectiveness, but was unable to elaborate; why them?” Damian crinkled his face, nose scrunching.

Cain laughed. “Stubborn, not seeing.” She poked his forehead, startling him. He scowled further, rubbing the spot. It didn’t really hurt, but he was not about to let her get away with poking him like a child!

She snickered at his bewildered expression. 

“It is hard to explain… Instinct.” She hummed, looking away in contemplation.

“Innocence. They do not know… the violence, the heartache… they are kind.”

So it was about the contrast, Damian concluded. The difference between a trained vigilante and a weakling.

“They cannot… protect self. Need help. Like baby.” She continued, sighing and leaning a hand against her cheek, propped against her knees.

“Like… Like Titus, or Alfred the cat. Need looking after.”

Just like that, it clicked.

You were utterly defenseless. Completely alone, with no one to prevent you from being hurt, or worse, killed. You were like a young kitten, unable to open their eyes to see their savior, like the one Damian had fostered.

A warmth bloomed in his chest. You would be like the kitten, and he would protect your innocence, no matter the cost.

Cass smiled widely, scrunching her nose. 

Just like that, Damian was clamoring to get involved. He could not wait until you were home, and he would be able to ensure your safety, keeping you from losing that childlike innocence, that thin film over your eyes preventing you from seeing the true danger.

It was Drake who had the brilliant idea to place Damian in the field; Damian, for all of his sword-related faults, was still young, after all. Someone as naive as you would be sure to enjoy looking after such a cute child, not being able to see who was truly caring for who.

While both Grayson and Todd had failed to make your acquaintance, it seemed you were too aware of stranger danger to fully fall for the ruse, he knew Cain had made inroads as a member of your book club. Surely, having a young brother by her side would only make it easier to get closer to you.

And just like that, the trap was set, and Damian was ready to act.

The next week, your book club would be meeting to discuss the selected offerings. You had wisely offered up Pride and Prejudice. Damian could still hear the muffled curses Todd had let out; you had no clue the extent to which you had so thoroughly endeared yourself to him, just by picking an Austen novel. Damian could not help but be amused, Todd was easy to enthrall despite his tough exterior; it was almost comical. 

Cain had brought him with, dressed in clothes he was told were appropriate for his age (Grayson had laughed and forced him to stand for pictures. He would secure his revenge, and make sure to talk badly about him. He would be victorious in the so-called prank war, after all, and you would stand at his side, unscathed.).

You opened the door, smiling and bringing Cain in for a hug. Even from his position, he could see Cain melt into the hug, smiling and bringing an arm up to pat your back gently.

“Hello,” she sighed as you pulled back, looking her over.

“Oh, Hello!” you said, looking down at Damian. 

He sighed internally. It would take everything he had, but the thoughts of showing you Bat-Cow would get him through the evening. He smiled brightly, artificially pitching his voice up slightly.

“Hi!” He said, stepping forward and shaking your hand with vigor. “I’m Cass’s brother, Damian!”

“Oh, so you have a brother?” You said, smiling even brighter. It almost hurt Damian’s face in sympathy, how widely you were able to smile. Was it due to your innocence?

You ushered the two of them inside.

“Yes, Our father forgot Damian would be home tonight, and did not arrange for a babysitter.”

“Oh, that’s more than alright! Here, are you hungry, kiddo? I’ll make you something to snack on while the book club gets going! Cass, you can take a seat if you want.”

Damian watched as you puttered around the kitchen, enamored with the way you seemed completely oblivious to the danger present in your home. You were lucky he was there to protect you; what if Cass hadn’t been a kind person? You would’ve had no idea you were letting a threat into your house, and into your life! Luckily for you, Cass would never harm a hair on your head, let alone let you get hurt.

“Milk okay for the Mac n’ cheese, kiddo?” You asked, not bothering to turn around as you pulled down a box.

He informed you he was vegan.

You took it in stride, pulling out some soy milk. He was almost surprised you would have some, but your clear kindness would never allow you to potentially offend a guest. Damian could feel a bout of cuteness aggression overtaking him, and he clenched his fists hard enough to draw blood under the lip of the counter.

The rest of the night passed without incident, though you seemed particularly interested in Damian’s contributions to the conversation about Austen’s works. He could not help but be satisfied at the impression he had made; it was not his fault the majority of the people you surrounded with could not understand basic literary analysis, after all.

Every week for the next few months, Damian would tag along to book club; he eventually managed to become your favorite conversational partner, though Cain was a close second, as you slowly began to ignore the others in the club. It was better this way, after all; they could not protect you.

However, Damian soon became frustrated by the lack of progress. They were talking to you regularly, yes, but he wanted you safe at home! He could tell the others were building in frustration as well, and yet the consensus remained; they would need to take more time.

So, he approached Todd.

And Todd agreed.

The plan was set.

Damian waited breathlessly in the alley by your workplace. It would be easy, after all, to get you to follow him down into the dark.

The second he saw you, he took a few wide steps back, and began to scream.

“Help!” He shouted, crumpling to the floor. He let his voice take on a tinge of desperation, pitching slightly higher to exaggerate his innocence and hopefully trigger your panic so you would approach without a second thought.

It worked, and your pounding footsteps soon approached.

“Hello?!” You called, frantically dropping to your knees in front of his crumpled form.

“D-Damian?” You cried, searching desperately for the injury.

Behind you, he could see Todd approach, syringe in hand. 

He let out a groan and rolled over, head in your lap. As you ran your hands over his back, looking for something, he surreptitiously grabbed your waist, hoping to prevent you from running, just in case.

Finally, Todd was in range. He stuck the syringe into your neck without a second thought, and you were out like a light.

Damian was just glad your hand had landed in his hair.

[natsaffection]

Heyyy :) So I've been thinking - Nat and R don't really like each other, there's no hate but occasionally fights and yeah they just avoid each other most of the time... R has been out drinking alone after one of those fights bc she realized that she actually fell for Nat some time ago and just denies it? And R gets in a fight on her way home with someone, ends up pretty badly hurt but doesn't call someone instead just tries to get to her room on the compound and fix herself but instead she ends up in Nats room somehow and Nat takes care of her? + some fluffy cuddles and kisses perhaps?

Fury and Friction. | N.R

Warnings: Fighting, arguing, description of injury

Word Count: 2,4k

A/N: I hope Y/n doesn't come across as too harsh, but that makes the end more..I don’t want to spoil. 🫂

It was another exhausting day of training. The Team had gathered to improve their skills, each focused on pushing their limits. Natasha and you were paired together, much to both of your displeasure. Your sparring sessions often ended with bruises and frayed nerves.

As you circled each other, the tension in the air was palpable. Natasha's movements were fluid and precise, each step carefully calculated. You, on the other hand, were aggressive and relentless, your strikes driven by a mix of frustration and determination.

"You need to control your anger," Natasha said as she dodged a particularly fierce blow. "It makes you predictable."

"And you need to stop underestimating me." you retorted, your eyes sparkling with defiance. Her words were as sharp as her movements, each sentence a deliberate jab meant to wound. It wasn't just about the fight, it was about proving a point, about not backing down. "Maybe you'd cause fewer problems if you learned to follow orders, Y/n."

"And maybe people would actually want to work with you if you weren't such a control freak." you shot back, your frustration evident. Natasha's eyes narrowed. "I'm just trying to keep you from getting yourself killed. You need to think clearly, not just charge ahead blindly."

"Stop treating me like I don't know what I'm doing!" you snapped and Natasha's patience was wearing thin. She took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. "I want you to be careful. You're too valuable to be lost to reckless decisions."

But you weren't listening. You were convinced that Natasha saw you as a project, someone in need of constant correction. This belief only fueled your anger and made you more stubborn. The room fell silent, the others exchanging uneasy glances. They knew better than to intervene. The hostility between you and Natasha was a storm best weathered from a safe distance.

Six months ago:

The sun was setting over the ruins of Sokovia, casting long shadows across the devastated landscape. The air was thick with smoke and the echoes of distant explosions. Natasha was in the midst of coordinating the evacuation, her mind focused on the task at hand.

That's when she first met you.

You were a lone operative, sent by SHIELD to assist with the evacuation and gather intelligence. Your introduction was abrupt, almost confrontational. Natasha had seen you from afar, a solitary figure moving through the debris with near reckless determination.

"Who the hell are you?" Natasha demanded as she approached, "Agent L/N, here to help from SHIELD." Natasha's eyes narrowed. "I wasn't informed about additional operatives."

"Looks like you missed the memo.." You replied challengingly.

From that, the dynamic was tense. Natasha saw you as an impulsive rookie, someone who hadn't yet earned their place. You saw Natasha as overly cautious and controlling, a relic of an older generation out of touch with the times. Your approaches clashed immediately, setting the stage for the hostility that would follow.

Later that evening, the Team gathered in the common area for a rare moment of relaxation. Natasha, ever the social butterfly, laughed and chatted with some of the newer recruits. Her effortless charm and magnetic presence drew people in, and you noticed.

You watched from a distance, your eyes narrowing as Natasha casually flirted with a young agent. Jealousy stirred within you, a feeling unfamiliar. You tried to ignore it, but the more you watched, the harder it became.

"Everything okay?" Clint's voice broke through your thoughts, his concern evident. You forced a smile. "Yeah, just tired." Clint glanced at Natasha and then back at you, a knowing look in his eyes. "You know, she's not as bad as you think." Your smile faded. "She's insufferable."

"Or maybe you just don't see the whole picture.." Clint suggested gently before walking away, leaving you alone with your conflicting feelings.

The next mission briefing was tense again. The team was set to infiltrate another HYDRA facility, and the stakes were high. Tony outlined the plan, but it wasn't long before you and Natasha were at odds again. "This is a delicate operation," Natasha said, her tone brooking no argument. "We need to proceed with caution."

"And while we're sneaking around, HYDRA gets stronger," you snapped. "We need to hit them hard.."

"You're too reckless, Y/N." Natasha said. "You think you can solve everything with brute force."

"And you're a control freak.." your frustration boiling over. "You don't trust anyone but yourself." The room fell silent as your argument escalated. Your face was flushed with anger, your fists clenched at your sides. Natasha's eyes were cold, her jaw tightly set.

"You know nothing about trust," Natasha said quietly, but her words hit deep. "You're too busy trying to prove you're better than everyone else." Your eyes flashed with hurt and anger. "Maybe I have to because people like you will never see me as anything but a liability."

Natasha, who usually tried to stay calm, finally lost her patience. She turned directly to Tony, effectively ending the argument by shutting you out. The words hung in the air, a stark reminder of the deep-seated issues between you.

Back in the cold corridors of the HYDRA base, you and Natasha moved through the shadows, your movements silent and coordinated despite the underlying tensions. You reached a large room lined with computer servers.

As you worked to disable the security systems, a HYDRA agent emerged from a hidden passage, weapon raised. The agent fired, the bullet grazing your arm. You winced, a sharp intake of breath the only sign of pain.

"You're hit!" Natasha hissed, her eyes wide with concern as she swiftly took out the agent. "It's just a graze," you said, downplaying it. "I'm fine."

Natasha grabbed your arm, examining the wound. "You need to take this seriously. You could have been killed." You pulled your arm away, glaring at Natasha. "I said I'm fine. We have a mission to complete."

Natasha's eyes flashed with a mix of anger and worry. "You need to stop pretending you're invincible. This isn't just about you." Your expression softened for a moment, but your pride wouldn't let you concede. "I know that. But I can't afford to be cautious. Not now."

Natasha's grip on your arm tightened for a moment before she let go. "Just be... careful, damnet.." she said, her voice gentler. "We can't afford to lose anyone." You nodded, a fleeting understanding passing between you. Despite your differences, there was mutual respect buried beneath the layers of conflict and stubbornness.

That night, you couldn't sleep. You tossed and turned, your mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. You hated how Natasha got under your skin, how she made you feel vulnerable and inadequate. But there was something else, something deeper that you didn't want to acknowledge.

As you lay in the dark, memories of your mission in Siberia came to mind. Natasha's concern when you were grazed by the bullet, the way her eyes filled with worry . Just be...careful. It stirred something in you, something you desperately tried to suppress.

You got up and paced the room, your thoughts racing. "This is ridiculous.." you muttered to yourself. But the more you denied it, the stronger the feelings became. You couldn't ignore how your heart raced whenever Natasha was near, how your anger was tinged with something unsettlingly like longing.

The next day, you found yourself in the gym, trying to burn off your frustration of last night. You were in the middle of a rigorous workout when Natasha walked in. You exchanged a tense glance, but the atmosphere had shifted, a subtle change in how you moved around each other.

Natasha watched you for a moment, her expression unreadable. Then she approached cautiously. "Everything okay?" You paused, surprised by the question. "Why do you care?"

"Because despite everything, you're part of this team," Natasha said simply. "And I do care." Your eyes searched Natasha's, looking for any sign of insincerity. But all you saw was genuine concern. It confused you, made your defenses waver.

"I'm fine," you said, your voice softer than before. "Just trying to clear my head." Natasha nodded, her gaze lingering on you. "If you ever want to talk... I'm here."

It was a small gesture, but it meant a lot. In the weeks that followed, your relationship with Natasha began to improve. The sharp edges of your hostility softened, replaced by a cautious respect. You still argued, but the intensity had lessened, and there were moments of genuine camaraderie.

Natasha made an effort to give you more space and trust your instincts, while you tried to temper your impulsiveness with more strategic thinking. It wasn't perfect, but it was progress.

But the peace was short lived. One afternoon, you were in the kitchen, making a snack. Natasha entered the room, looking distracted. She opened the fridge and stared at the contents for a moment before closing it with a sigh.

"Everything okay?" you asked, trying to keep the conversation light. "Just tired." Natasha replied curtly. You could feel the tension and, against your better judgment, pushed a little further. "You seem upset. What's going on?"

Natasha's eyes flashed with an emotion you couldn't quite place. "It's nothing. Just drop it." Your frustration boiled over. "Why do you always act like everything's fine when it's not? You can talk to me, you know.."

Natasha snapped. "And why do you always have to push? Not everything has to be a confrontation, Y/N!" You were stunned, your own anger rising. "I was just trying to offer help! Maybe I push because you never let anyone in! Do you think you're the only one who feels anything?"

Natasha, recognizing the futility of the exchange, finally threw up her hands in exasperation. "You know what? Do whatever you want," she said coldly. "I'm done arguing with you. It's pointless."

With that, Natasha turned and left, leaving you standing there, angry and confused. You didn't understand why Natasha kept shutting you out, but it hurt more than you wanted to admit.

You grabbed your jacket and stormed out of the Tower, heading to a downtown bar. The neon lights and pulsing music were a stark contrast to the sterile environment of the Tower. You ordered a drink, then another, trying to drown your anger and confusion.

The bar was crowded, the air thick with the smell of alcohol and sweat. You found yourself the center of attention, a group of admirers drawn to your magnetic presence. You flirted and laughed, trying to distract yourself from thoughts of Natasha.

But the alcohol only amplified your feelings. The more you drank, the more your suppressed emotions surfaced. You couldn't stop thinking about Natasha, about your fights and the strange, confusing connection you kinda shared.

It wasn't long before one admirer decided to make a move. He grabbed your arm, his intentions clear. You yanked your arm free "Back off."

"Oh, come on, sweetheart. Just a bit of fun.." he slurred and stepping closer. You shoved him hard, sending him crashing into a table. The bar fell silent for a moment, then chaos erupted as a brawl broke out.

You ducked as a bottle flew past your head and shattered against the wall. You landed a quick punch to the man's chin, sending him to the floor. Another patron charged at you, but you dodged and used his momentum to send him into a nearby chair. The fight was quick and brutal, you held your own despite the numbers.

But you didn't escape unscathed. A punch landed on your forehead, splitting the skin, blood trickling down your face. Another kick hit your ribs, leaving you gasping in pain. Finally, the bouncers intervened, pulling you and the other fighters apart. You were escorted out of the bar, your adrenaline still pumping.

You made your way back to the Tower, your thoughts a jumbled mess. You replayed the fight in your head, the raw emotions and physical release of your pent-up frustration. But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't shake thoughts of Natasha. God..

When you entered the Tower, your feet moved almost on their own, leading you through familiar corridors. Your hand hovered over your door. You tried to gather your thoughts. All the anger, the confusion, the feelings you'd been suppressing came rushing back.

Before you could open the door, it opened on its own. Natasha stood there, her expression a mix of surprise and concern. "What happened to you?" she asked, her eyes scanning the bruises and cuts from the fight. You blinked, confusion washing over you. "I... thought this was my room..“

Natasha raised an eyebrow, a hint of a smile playing on her lips. "Well, I see you've had a bit to drink. Come in, I can help you with that." You wanted to refuse, but the throbbing pain in your ribs and the blood dripping from your brow convinced you otherwise. You followed Natasha into the room.

Natasha led you to her bed and fetched a first aid kit from her dresser. She began cleaning your wounds with gentle hands, her touch surprisingly tender. You winced as the antiseptic stung, but you didn't pull away.

"Why did you get into a fight?" Natasha asked softly, her eyes focused on her work. You sighed, the alcohol and exhaustion making you more honest than usual. "I was angry. Frustrated. I needed to blow off steam.."

Natasha paused, her gaze meeting yours. "Was it because of our argument?" You looked away, feeling the weight of Natasha's gaze. "Partly. But it's more than that. I don't know how to handle...everything."

“I need to tell you something.” You turned to her, meeting her gaze. The vulnerability in her eyes was striking, a stark contrast to the fierce determination one had been used to seeing over the months.

“I’ve been unfair to you,” Natasha admitted, her voice trembling slightly. “I’ve been treating you like you needed constant watching, and it’s because I was.. scared. Scared that your stubbornness would get you hurt, or worse.”

You felt a lump in your throat as her words sank in. “Nat, I know I can be reckless. But I never meant to make you feel like you couldn’t trust me.”

“I just want you to be safe. I push you because I care about you, more than I’ve let on..” Her words hung in the air, heavy with emotion. You saw the glimmer of tears in her eyes and felt your own start to well up, “..And god, your stubbornne-“

Without thinking, you closed the distance between you, wrapping your arms around her in a tight embrace. Natasha’s arms encircled you, pulling you close. She held you tightly, as if afraid to let go. “I’m sorry, Y/n..” she whispered into your hair. “I’m sorry for being so hard on you. I just didn’t know how else to keep you safe.”

For a long moment, you both stayed like that, holding each other in the quiet light. The embrace was a balm to your frayed nerves, letting everything forget what has accumulated with you, "I-I care about you too, Nat..“ The room was silent. For the first time, you both allowed yourselves to be vulnerable. You looked up and into Natasha's eyes, seeing the vulnerability there, the fear and..the hope.

Without thinking, you leaned in, your lips brushing Natasha's in a tentative kiss. For a moment, Natasha froze, then she kissed you back, her hand gently cradling your cheek. The kiss was slow, filled with all the unspoken emotions you both had been holding back.

When you finally pulled away, you were both breathless, your foreheads resting against each other. "I'm sorry." you both said at the same time, laughing softly at the coincidence.

The mood lightened, the weight of your previous arguments lifted. You talked quietly through the night, sharing your fears and hopes, finally letting out what had been weighing on your hearts. As dawn broke, you were still curled up together, a newfound understanding and affection blossoming between you.

[reasonsforhope]

"Cody Two Bears, a member of the Sioux tribe in North Dakota, founded Indigenized Energy, a native-led energy company with a unique mission — installing solar farms for tribal nations in the United States.

This initiative arises from the historical reliance of Native Americans on the U.S. government for power, a paradigm that is gradually shifting.

The spark for Two Bears' vision ignited during the Standing Rock protests in 2016, where he witnessed the arrest of a fellow protester during efforts to prevent the construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline on sacred tribal land.

Disturbed by the status quo, Two Bears decided to channel his activism into action and create tangible change.

His company, Indigenized Energy, addresses a critical issue faced by many reservations: poverty and lack of access to basic power.

Reservations are among the poorest communities in the country, and in some, like the Navajo Nation, many homes lack electricity.

Even in regions where the land has been exploited for coal and uranium, residents face obstacles to accessing power.

Renewable energy, specifically solar power, is a beacon of hope for tribes seeking to overcome these challenges.

Not only does it present an environmentally sustainable option, but it has become the most cost-effective form of energy globally, thanks in part to incentives like the Inflation Reduction Act of 2022.

Tribal nations can receive tax subsidies of up to 30% for solar and wind farms, along with grants for electrification, climate resiliency, and energy generation.

And Indigenized Energy is not focused solely on installing solar farms — it also emphasizes community empowerment through education and skill development.

In collaboration with organizations like Red Cloud Renewable, efforts are underway to train Indigenous tribal members for jobs in the renewable energy sector.

The program provides free training to individuals, with a focus on solar installation skills.

Graduates, ranging from late teens to late 50s, receive pre-apprenticeship certification, and the organization is planning to launch additional programs to support graduates with career services such as resume building and interview coaching...

The adoption of solar power by Native communities signifies progress toward sustainable development, cultural preservation, and economic self-determination, contributing to a more equitable and environmentally conscious future.

These initiatives are part of a broader movement toward "energy sovereignty," wherein tribes strive to have control over their own power sources.

This movement represents not only an economic opportunity and a source of jobs for these communities but also a means of reclaiming control over their land and resources, signifying a departure from historical exploitation and an embrace of sustainable practices deeply rooted in Indigenous cultures."

-via Good Good Good, December 10, 2023

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

Being His Sibling– Jamil ft. Namja Viper

This is based off the headcanon/au that Jamil may have been taught to kill in order to protect Kalim.

Content Stuff: Gn Yuu. Platonic. Older Sib Yuu. Angst with a happy ending (for now). Edgyness that comes with assassins, 6k words

You were the eldest child of the Viper family, renowned by many as the elite servants of the Al-Asim family. It was a title to be held with pride is what you have been told your entire life. This is where you were meant to be. You will be happy serving your master and he will take care of you so there's no need to look outside of your cage. 

A mop was thrusted into your chubby hands when you first started walking. Your fine motor skills were honed on cooking. Your boredom alleviated with chores.

This was the honor of a Viper. Serving one of the most powerful families in the world with their head bowed. Vipers were not just servants— they were butlers, housekeepers, advisers. It was the highest rank a servant can have. Commanding other maids, being directly in charge of orders and standing right alongside the Asims themselves.

Viper was a powerful name in its own right. Yet it was as strong as it was confining. The name was akin to wearing weights in a deep pool, and though you had more privilege than the other maids, a taller birdcage was still a birdcage.

You learned to cook, learned to clean, learn how to act, learned how to fight. That was your way of life.

You cooked. You cleaned. You acted. You trained. You cooked. You cleaned. You acted. You trained. You cooked. You cleaned. You acted. You trained. And you never yearned for anything outside of the bars in front of you.

You knew your place.

***

One day, a new addition to the family was announced: Jamil Viper. Your little brother.

Deep in your heart you knew he would be an amazing servant in the future.

As you looked into the newborn's eyes you also knew he would be your best friend. You remembered the feeling of him in your little arms. The pudge of his face, the softness of the skin, the comfortable weight. 

You faintly remember asking why Jamil was so pale before you felt a little hand grip around your finger. Soft and firm. You looked down at the newborn. You swore there was a smile on his face. 

All of your family duties were put on hold to care for the newborn and you were at his side for every moment of it. Mother would often remark on how she would find you asleep by his cradle, having passed out from standing and staring at him all the time.

Kalim was born not long after. You remember being told that you were to help look over him as well. From the moment he took his first breath your fates were decided. You and Jamil will bow to the young heir and obey him, for he is your master. 

The eldest bore many responsibilities. You cooked. You cleaned. You served. You watched over Kalim and Jamil. You cooked. You cleaned. You learned. You watched as they'd play tag. You cooked. You cleaned. You studied all the skills you could so you could be useful. You'd listen to their laughter.

It made sense mom and dad weren't as hard on Jamil since you do your tasks flawlessly. They didn't need as many hands with your capabilities. So you cooked. You cleaned. You—

“Hey! Hey Yuu!” You perked up from your thoughts as you turned to the boy that clung to your clothes and bounced on his feet. “Do you know what this is?” Jamil held up a box of some sort and you took a step back to look at it.

As your eyes scanned the box you could see Kalim and Jamil look up at you expectantly. “Shatranj– it's just like chess, there's just a few optional rules to it.” You look at all of the pieces inside. The dusty pawns and chipped elephants look to you with the hope of salvation. It's clear they haven't been used in a while. 

“Can you teach us? Please please please please!” Kalim tugged at your sleeve and you chuckle. It was your break time anyways. You suppose your personal studies can wait this time, besides it's not like you to ever reject an order from your master.

You guide Jamil's hand over the board, showing him the pawn’s available movements. You sat between the boys and refereed, letting them experiment with the pieces and pointing out a few strategies. The game came to a close and the children clearly wanted something else to do.

“... I hear one of the perfume parlors in the marketplace is having a live performance today.” Both of them light up and Kalim is pulling on your sleeve again jumping off the wall in excitement. “Can you take us? Please please please Yuu?”

“Yeah yeah! Come on Yuu!” Jamil was pulling on your shirt too, looking up at you with puppy dog eyes and a bright, pleading smile. He always adored music of all kinds, it would be a crime to rob him of it.

“Okay, okay! Fine. But you both stick beside me, got it?”

“Deal!”

As you walked out the playroom Jamil slid something into your hand. You hummed as he closed your hand around it and you lifted it to your face. Opening your hand you saw the small elephant piece, cracked and chipped. “It's broken so maybe you could fix it?” You examined it, then put it into your pocket.

“Maybe.”

You had fond memories of teaching them what you knew. Safe back alleys as shortcuts. The best vendors along the markets. You had Jamil at your side as you haggle the price of an old stereo for his room. How to disguise yourselves. The two would giggle as you wrapped them up and used a spell to make them look like two different kids entirely. You played tag, hide and seek, and so much more. 

You balanced helping Kalim and Jamil among your work as the duo became good friends. And they helped to balance your own schedule, giving you a break from your usual clockwork life. It was fun while it lasted but you all had to grow up eventually.

Jamil got older alongside you and he fell into the same routine as you did. He cooked. He cleaned. He served. But unlike you, his ambitions grew. 

He wanted to be recognized. To be something great. You showed him worlds beyond the life of servants. You showed him the salesmen, the merchants, the travelers that would tell their tales of a life beyond the sands.

And like you, he worked hard. He put his all into everything. His talent shined through over and over again. Eventually, however, it became too bright.

That time he beat Kalim in a race as a kid was when his reality became clear to him. A minor victory had him scolded and his eyes were opened. He was to be an accessory to his master. To hide his true self. That should be his true ambition. 

There was a pang of empathy as Jamil's face fell. Another part of you however, didn't fully understand his sadness. This was expected of you both. Why was he so surprised? This was an honor. You were told it's an honor. Why didn't he see it that way?

He was trained like you. Poison testing. Bodyguarding. You were expected to put your life on the line. He hated all of these tasks and he hated how you didn't seem to care. The first seed of his anger was sewn.

***

A new baby girl was born to the Viper family. Najma Viper. You held the newborn in your arms and dipped her low so Jamil could see. Like with Jamil, you all had time off to celebrate your new addition. Just like before you'd watch over the girl from the cradle as she slept. This time however, Jamil was at your side. 

A comfortable silence danced between in the air occasionally interrupted by an occasional coo or sigh from the little one swaddled in her softest garments.

Jamil broke the silence. “She kinda looks like an alien.”

You snickered a bit at the comment. “Funny. That's what you looked like too, you just had a bigger head.” You snicker even more as Jamil glared at you with a pout.

“Haah? No I didn't!” Jamil huffs at your amusement. “Stop laughing at me!”

“If it makes you feel better, Kalim was a very fat baby. You'd be able to roll him down a hill easily.” At that Jamil pauses to imagine it, and lets out a small laugh of his own.

“He was always hungry too. He'd suck on everything looking for milk. I'd often have to pry him off my clothes and fingers.” You patted Jamil's head and a soft smile formed on his lips as he stared more at Najma.

A small frown then overtakes his features as he thinks. “What's wrong?” Your brother looks up at you with a troubled expression. “She's gonna be like us too…”

You paused for a moment, trying to discern his thoughts. “What do you mean?”

“She's gonna be a servant too.” Jamil sounded dejected, quiet. Why?

“Well, yeah— It's what we're supposed to be.” Your face contorts into confusion. What was the issue?

“But I don't wanna be a servant!” he huffed, resting his head against the crib. “I wanna be a dancer… or an alchemist! Or a really strong mage! I wanna see the world!” The boy then looked up to you, a spark of hope in his eyes. “Don't you?”

“I never thought about it.” Jamil's face falls further at the admission. It was true. Why would you think about it if you were told that this was all there was? “I've never even played with anyone before you and Kalim were born.” 

You turned to Jamil. You understood why Jamil was upset logically, but you also didn't why he didn't just accept it. You already did at a much younger age than him. Why can't he?

Jamil scowled before resigning with a sigh. “But Najma isn't gonna get to choose either… doesn't that bother you…?” Your brows are knit together as you think. Another silence follows. Jamil keeps his gaze on you.

“What would you like to be when you grow up? Like if you could choose anything?” 

Silence. “I don't know.”

Jamil groans. “Just pick something!”

“I just never saw the point of thinking about it,” You shrug and scratch at your eye. “I'm still a servant at the end of the day. Maybe I can become a butler when I'm older?”

Jamil just looks even more frustrated. “Never mind.” The boy starts to storm off with a pout before you speak again.

“I like cooking and baking. Maybe something with that?” You test the idea in your head. “Or maybe somewhere where I can be with you and Najma?” Your voice is a quiet murmur as the idea of a life outside of this mansion is a new thought to you.

“A baker?” Jamil tilts his head at the idea, surprised at the fact you actually answered. You shrug a bit, “I don't really know. You're the first person that ever asked me that.” 

Jamil frowned as leaned on you and you wrapped an arm around him in a side hug. “I'd think you'd be good at it. Your cakes are always the best.” You smile at the praise. Memories of the young boy with frosting all over his cheeks and hands as he shoved as much cake into his mouth he could play in your mind.

You watched over Najma again. Will she feel the same?

Life went on. You cooked. You cleaned. You poison tested. You studied. You entertained Kalim. You checked the treasury. You were praised for being such a good kid. You looked after Najma despite how busy you were.

You also made sure to support Jamil in all the ways you could, taking hours out of your day to do so. He wanted to be a scholar? You used your break to teach him what you knew. He wanted to be a great mage? You would show him some spells to practice. He wanted to be a dancer? Let's go watch a few performances

Najma was no exception either. You got her books. Taught her the ways of an artisan should she want to be one. You played with her. You put on magic shows. 

You made sure to spoil them both rotten. On grocery runs you snagged records from magic shops and jewelry to surprise them on the way back. Extra pastries from the bakery were handed off for Najma to gum on and Jamil to savor. You listened to them and their frustrations. You'd hug them and wipe away tears. You'd take them to the best place to watch the stars.

As they stared in wonder at the night sky you would remind them that they would shine just as bright. They would be more than just servants. They would talk about their dreams and you swore you would make them come true.

You would give up your dreams if it means they could pursue theirs.

***

“I found another chess set.” Jamil shook the box at you and you looked over at it. “It's not as old. Want to play?”

“You don't want to study?” You tilt your head at him, looking at the notes in your book of the spell you wanted to teach him.

“Not today… I want to play with you.” You were weak to his eyes and couldn't help but concede.

You both now sat at the table, setting up the pieces one by one. As you did so, you removed one of the knights, replacing it with the old elephant piece you pocketed. It was still cracked, you never had the time to fix it.

“Oh? You still have that?”

You nod. “Yeah, I like the elephants more.”

Jamil smiled. “I think it suits you.” He admired your side of the board and the broken elephant before leaning back and crossing his arms confidently. He then gestures to you. “White goes first.”

***

Today, Jamil went out to play with Kalim again. You watched the two from the higher floors of the mansion where you swept. The duo sneaked off into the market, using all of the shortcuts you taught them. A smile graces your features and you look down, sweeping again. You glanced up again to watch them 

…

..

.

The broom in your hands clattered to the ground as you dashed through the hall. Your heart pounded in your chest. Adrenaline pumped into your veins. Your feet hit the ground harshly as you covered the distance in no time.

“Jamil?! Jamil are you out there?!” Running through the alley you jumped and ducked and slid under any obstacle in your path. You navigated the alleyways with precision, having memorized every path.

You then saw it. The shadowy stalker from before. They slunk into some shady building, a van of some kind backing into the side of it. There was no license plate and the windows were tinted a deep black. The camouflaging magic around the van gave you an idea.

You concentrated your magic hard, then vanished into thin air. The spell worked. Swallowing thickly, you took your steps carefully as you navigated the building. A familiar shriek reawakens the panic in your veins and you follow it.

“Let us go! Let us go please!” It was Jamil's voice, raspy and desperate between sobs. You slid to the door with a running start, crouching beside it. Looking in you saw Kalim was tied up and sobbing against the duct tape that covered more than half his face. He was wailing and kicking in the chair he was in as the man screamed at him to shut up.

Jamil was dangling off the floor. The man held him by the shirt and shook him slightly as he did everything he could to struggle against him. The Viper managed to lean down and bite the man, making the bastard yelp and throw him against the wall. Jamil let out a cry of pain and shook, looking up at his kidnappers.

“Tch… Intel says that this brat ain't important…” The man says to another lady across the room who merely watched with a cruel gaze.

“Then get rid of him.” The woman sneered with a dismissive wave of her hand. The man then yanked Jamil up by his hair, retrieving a knife from his pocket. The knife was then pressed against the boy's throat and left a shallow cut as it dragged across his neck. Jamil sobbed, magic on his fingers fizzling due to fear. The man was taunting him.

You remember the next moments in brief flashes. The magic from your fingertips was the most concentrated you had ever casted. The smell of blood. Yelling at Jamil and Kalim to run. Cloaking them in an invisibility spell. Their looks of horror. A fierce struggle. 

***

You awoke to the sounds of sirens as you bring the knife in your hands down on a ribcage that is no longer breathing. Your hands are warm, soaked in a deep maroon. The knife clattered on the floor next to you. Your breathing was ragged as reality settles in.

A heavy hand on your shoulder shakes you. None of the words the officer spoke registered in your head as you were pulled into the back of a car. Your eyes are glazed over and dilated.

You were now in a room that was empty aside for the chair you sat on and the table between you and the officer. Your voice was shaky as you looked up at the interrogator. “Are they ok?”

“Yes, they are. You aren't in trouble kid. Tell us what happened.”

You did as you were told. Obedience bred into your veins. No you didn't know the kidnappers. Yes you followed. No you don't remember fighting back.

“I'm sure it was very scary, kid.” You nod. There's tears in your eyes despite the numbness. “Do you feel bad about it?”

“No.”

***

The head of the house himself, Kalim's father, commended your bravery. He held your hand in both of his and thanked you for saving his son. You truly were a Viper at heart and just as deadly. Your family must be proud. 

“A feast will be held in your honor tonight. I will see you there.”

You just nodded.

…

..

.

Chatter and uncomfortable questions of all kinds assaulted you at the dinner table. You shyly nibbled on your baklava as Kalim bounced next to you. He thanked you for saving him and sang your praises out for everyone to hear. 

You hear the people around you making up their own stories on how it happened. Part of you cringes. Was this just a funny story to them?

You look at Jamil who slithered off. Anxiety plastered on his features. You followed.

“Jamil? What's wrong?”

“Nothing I just…” Your brother turned to you. “I'm still processing it all. I've never seen you that angry before.” He looked you in the eyes and warily crossed his arms. “It was scary. You…” 

‘Killed them’ went unsaid but the implication filled the hallway. You frown and take a step forward. Jamil steps back. “I want to be alone right now.” 

“Okay.”

You walk back to the party. The loudness simmered down. You pick at your food. You weren't hungry

…

..

.

“Yuu.” A voice snaps you out of it. You look to see him. The head of the house. He has only spoken to you a handful of times. Twice in one day is an honor anyone would die for.

“Come take a walk with me.” The man turned and stepped down the hallway. The servant in you obeys.

“You have shown great strength over the years.” The man rubs his beard as he speaks, deep in his thoughts. “I have never seen a youth with such physical prowess.” His words were punctuated with each click of his heels.

His words were true. Apprehending burglars and distinguishing assassins was part of your job as a Viper. Your self-defense training was one of your strongest suits. You have chased people without a sweat. Your magic has paralyzed animals that would manage to break into the house. 

And you have just now killed two people.

The authority figure in front of you stops at a window. You look out with him. “I want to offer you a job. Something different than a servant.” You looked up with widened eyes. You have always been a servant, it's what you always would be. He wants to change it? You can be something other than this?

“That brother of yours is a wonderful retainer for my boy. You have taught him well.” You beam at him for a moment, then frown, understanding the implication. Jamil would still be a servant to his master...

“But you?” The man starts, “you have protected us well in other ways. That talent can be put to good use.”

He now looked at you, expectant look in his eyes.. “I have a job for you.”

***

You are Yuu Viper. The eldest child of the Viper family. It was a title to hold with pride. That is what you have been told. 

You were now an elite servant of the Asim family. One that watched from the shadows. An Assassin, born to protect and serve. You were obedient to your master.

How could you say no to such an offer? It was the ultimate honor. To serve this family with your life. It is what you have been told.

You got what you wanted. To be a very high ranking butler. One that could command the other servants. Why did you ever consider anything different?

Though you did have another motive. A plan. If you eliminate every threat, attend to every need, clean every hall, cook every meal— this family will have no need for this many servants. No need for 10 poison testers. No need for 20 bodyguards for each person. No need for artisans to be chained.

You could free your siblings. Swear you will serve them better than they ever could. Swear they can be free for their loyalty. Even if they weren't, maybe you could pay for their freedom with blood. Prove that you would go to any length.

You could fold laundry. Bathe them. Dress them. Feed them. Entertain them. Kill for them. Protect them. Serve them. Die for them.

This is the reason you are fighting so hard. Why you are working yourself to the bone. This is the reason you will excel in your training. The reason why you will learn the curve of every blade. The reason your list of skills is becoming endless. The reason your magic has been focused on stealth and utility. Your unique magic was indicative of your bloody path.

You are the strongest this family has ever seen and you will be the strongest the world has seen. No one would dare mess with this family when they have you in their arsenal. And this family will no doubt listen to your requests. Value them.

Najma and Jamil don't know. They will never know. You swear it. You will give up your freedom so they have theirs. You meant it.

With each mission you complete you are one step closer to achieving your goal.

***

“My liege. A word?” You stood with perfect posture behind the head of the house. Your missions have been most successful. The favor you have garnered with your master was immense.

“What is it, Yuu?” Ruby eyes look into yours from where he sat at his desk. Papers in his hand detailed your most recent report.

“I would like to make a request.”

The man's eyes widened, intrigued smile on his face. “In all these years you have never requested time off.” The man then chuckled. “Very well then, how long?”

You shake your head. “I'm not requesting time off sir.”

“Oh?” He tilts his head with intrigue. “I should have figured as much. Well then, what is your request?”

“My brother Jamil Viper will be selected by Night Raven College. This I know.” You nod to him. “I want to request that he takes time off to pursue higher education, this way he can be a better asset to your family. I will take up all of his duties in his absence.”

The man tapped a pen on the desk as he listened. “Of course.”

***

You aren't the same anymore. Caring smile and warm eyes now jaded and cold. Soft hands now rough and calloused. Calming voice now curt and sharp. Your affections and conversations dwindled into non-existence.

Resentment grew in Jamil's heart. Sadness budded in Najmas. They both miss you. You are gone in recent years and only the memories remain. Even when you are home, there is nothing left but the ghost they once knew. 

They don't have an older sibling to bail them out of the trouble. No one to get advice from. No one to cover their shifts. No one to cry into. No one to spend time with when the other is busy. No more freshly baked sweets just for them. No more gifts. No one to cheer them on. No one to believe in them. 

They miss their older sibling. They miss your lessons. Your magic shows. Your encouragement. Your affections. Your laughter.  The way your arms held them. It was gone. They don't recognize you anymore.

Your eyes have gotten so dull there is no light in the world that could brighten them. You're stiffer. Quieter. Blunt and unfeeling. Tired. Stories you once conjured, a stark contrast from your minimal words.

You never took breaks. You'll scout. You'll scan. You'll shadow. You observe. The closest either of them has gotten to spending time with you was when you'd shadow them or help with a chore just to dismiss yourself right after.

You were always on the job and they began to wonder if the person you were before even existed.

You aren't Yuu. You haven't been Yuu for a long time. They are mourning a person that is still alive and they don't know what to do. They just want you back. They want Yuu back.

As far as Jamil is concerned, the bond between you two is broken.

***

Najma walks up to you one day as you look out the window. You scanned the perimeter, watching over the children playing in the garden. She put her hands on her hips as she approached.

“Hey you! Still moping around?” She tries to laugh at her own joke but it's shaky. “Watching over the place again? Don't you ever get bored?” You shake your head and she frowns.

“Did you pass by my room last night? I could have sworn I felt the angst resonating off of you. Heh heh…” Tears started welling up in her eyes as she fiddled with the old necklace you have given to her years ago. “It's funny cause I'll look up and you're not there anymore, you know?”

She sniffles and wipes away tears with her sleeve, mouth wobbling. “I remember when we were kids and you'd always be there to tell me a story, you know? And now… now…”

The girl froze as she felt firm arms wrap around her. Najma was stunned, looking up at your stony face as you held her. Yet it wasn't the same. It wasn't warm and soothing, rather frigid and detached. An automated response. But that's fine she will take it for now. 

“See? I knew you were in there somewhere…”

***

Jamil was at a loss. How does he cope? His sibling and support system, gone in an instant that fateful night.

He wasn't dumb. He has gotten wise over the years with the nature of your work. He was observant. You taught him that. It also wasn't exactly a tight lipped secret either. The Asims have had secret agents for years.

He can't fully blame you for the person you have become. He cannot imagine all you have seen. But resentment and hatred he had sowed years ago is finally budding.

If it wasn't for this job, for this damn family, if it wasn't for his master— He would have an older sibling. If Kalim didn't need to be coddled every waking moment of his life then there would have been no need for so many people to be at his beck and call.

It was their fault. His fault. That is how he justified it. They took away his freedom, his dreams, his life. And now you. Kalim took you away from him.

He hoped at some point the ice in your veins would melt. It didn't. It froze over and sees it in every facet of you. You were frozen solid. Why else would you be so stiff?

He now looked over a letter in his hand, pristine and elegant. One Najma delivered to him.

Is this…?

Jamil swallowed, heart pounding in his chest as he opened it. He has been selected for the black carriage to attend one of the most prestigious magical academies in Twisted Wonderland.

His hands shook. One of the biggest honors he could have and he won't be able to accept it. He has to stay here. How will he be able to convince everyone that he should go? 

If you were here right now, there's no doubt you would have said something like ‘see? now you can really shine!’ Or something to that effect. And he would laugh and smile and call you corny but cherish your words.

You're not though.

A knock on the door made him jump. Jamil swallowed bitterly and held the letter to the side, opening the door. It was probably Kalim again with another request.

Instead he saw Yuu. Jamil blinked, then looked up at them. “A message. For you.”

Jamil looked at the note in your hand and his brow furrowed. He tentatively took it and opened it, examining the note. 

… Huh…?

He was already approved to attend? To get out of here? He has a chance to be in the spotlight?

“I got approval.. for you.” Your voice is quiet. You did this for him? After all these years you're still looking out for him? Even when you're like this?

Jamil looked up at you again. “Thank you. “ His voice was curt, bitterness on his tongue. 

“I told you you'd make it some day. And I promised I would support you.” Frustration dares to bubble in his heart.

“I didn't know you still remembered.” Jamil tries to play it off, but he cannot deny the sadness within him. “Of course I do. I'm always looking out for you.”

There's a pause in the air. “I'm sorry…” a strained murmur escapes you. “I know I haven't been around as much but…” There's a sadness in his eyes he hasn't seen in a long time. “I still want you to be happy.” 

There was so much bubbling under Jamil's skin. “Then why weren't you here when I needed you?” His voice cracked. Yuu's concern struck a rusted chord in him. For a moment he was 11 and talking to his older sibling again as they held him.

“I did what I had to do. It's my job.” Jamil's face fell.

“You… you…” he clenched his fist, invitation in his hand crinkling. “That's all you care about isn't it?! Your mission! Your servitude! Your loyalty has no limits huh? You'd kill yourself if you were told you to!” Jamil began to laugh in the middle of his outburst, chest heaving and tears falling as he continued. “I… I don't even recognize you anymore! I’ve been having to do this all on my own!”

He was sobbing, there's so much he wants to yell at you for but there's a part of him that loves you so much he can’t. “I know that I can't expect you to be the same after that day. And your job…” Jamil pauses to catch his breath, his fingers gently tracing the nearly faded scar on his neck from that day.

“But I just… Wish you were here…” Jamil looked down at the floor, defeated. Tears running down his face. Kalim. If it wasn't for him. He took them away from him.

“Jamil.” His head snapped up and he looked at Yuu, then at their outstretched hand. The elephant piece rested in your palm. The ivory white was yellowed from its age, the cracks that once covered it, filled and repaired by some sort of gold clay. 

“Do you remember this?” Jamil sniffed and nodded. “Yeah… We'd play with it all the time as kids. You always had it on your side.” They nodded.

“... It reminds me of you…” Yuu turned Jamil's arm and placed it into his hand, making sure to close his fist around it. “Everytime I went out on a mission, I kept this on me to remind me who I was doing it for. You and Najma.”

Jamil examined the piece in his hand then looked up at your brooding expression. “I thought that if I accepted this position, if I did all of this... That you would both get more freedoms. That maybe, no other Viper would be needed except for me.”

Yuu swallowed, their eyes welling with tears. “But I was wrong. I see that now. This is who I became.” Yuu looks down at themself. Unaware to Jamil were the ugly scars that covered them. Painful and deep. A reminder for their eyes only of their place. Their clothing hid it well, but they could still feel them.

“I at least managed to convince the Asims to let you attend Night Raven College.”

Jamil froze, looking up at the chess piece then to Yuu. His heart pounded. What? That's what you meant earlier? You did this? For him? His mind swirled with emotions, he's happy, he’s angry, he’s sad, but most of all there's a warmth that grows in his chest.

“I cannot be saved. I already sealed my fate. It doesn't have to be the same for you and Najma. You go out there. Study hard. Enjoy your freedom. I'll keep looking for a way for you to escape, both of you…” Their voice sounded almost desperate, like these words would be the last they ever speak. “I'll look after her while you're away, so don't worry.” 

Yuu looked down. “I know his isn't enough. I'm sor—” Jamil wrapped his arms around them before they could finish. “You… idiot! You…” Jamil wiped his tears on their shirt, basking in their warmth for the first time in a long time.

It's unknown just how much time has passed when Jamil stops crying and pulls away, face flushed and eyes puffy. Yuus face is still solid, but he could see hints of the warm, charismatic person he once knew. The two stared at each other, before Jamil looked at the piece again.

“I have a board here… want to play?” His voice was hoarse amidst the silence that ensued. A nod from Yuu and they were now setting up the board.

This was far from mending their relationship. There were still plenty of unresolved issues and sore spots between the two. He was still mourning the Yuu he knew and Yuu was still trying to recover who they once were. But this was a start.

“Here.” Jamil tried to hand Yuu the elephant just for them to push it away. “No, not this time.” Yuu says as they rotate the board so the white side faces him. There was a missing knight right where Yuu would usually put it.

Jamil places it down on the board, admiring it as he overlooked the pieces. The elephant stood out amongst them all—A diamond in the rough Yuu would say. Yuu then spoke.

“This time, you go first"