#Accidental Vampire AU

[yewsoup]

An experiment with something I've been working on for a good bit! What do you think they're discussing?

[nomsfaultau]

Dark sbi where Tommy accidentally kidnaps Philza, not knowing he’s a crime lord. And he swears it was an accident! He just, you know, panicked. Tommy and Tubbo were just minding their own business slapping graffiti on a building (practicing their art skills, you see) when a cop started screeching at them, apparently not an appreciator of the fine arts. And since Mrs. Innit would KILL him if he got arrested, Tommy panics and takes a hostage, shouting at the cop not to take a step further or he’ll kill the random civilian he’s ducked behind so he can’t get shot.

Meanwhile Philza isn’t entirely paying attention, and realizes there’s suddenly a small child sheltering behind him from a cop. He gives the cop the nastiest look imaginable, which causes them to back off enough that Tommy thinks his plan is working. Once the negotiations start Philza is baffled by who would have the gall to kidnap him, and so poorly at that. Frankly it’s an umbrage to face the work of an amateur.

Well, till the abductor asks his name. “…do you not know who I am.?”

Tommy squints at the guy. His suit looks kinda fancy? Is it better or worse for him if he managed to randomly capture some Wall Street schmuck? “Hell no,” he hisses. “And I don’t care. I’m a dangerous guy alright? You don’t know what I’ll do to you.”

Philza’s laugh causes the cop to advance, wagering the situation isn’t intense. But because Tubbo’s ‘Yes And’ game is a force to be reckoned with, he casually pulls out a nerf gun (painted to look real for a prank on Ranboo) and trains it on the cop. Philza is positively delighted as he realizes just how amateur his abductors are. Oh this will be a riot to watch.

With more bluffing than Tommy knew he had in him, promising the hostage 20 bucks if he pretended to go along with it, the pure manic chaos bleeding from Tubbo’s eyes and ample gun waving, and creative use of spray paint in the eyes of the chasing cops, Tommy and Tubbo somehow manage to book it. For some reason the hostage keeps up with them instead of escaping. Huh. Can you develop Stockholm syndrome that fast? Tommy would ask, but he’s panting from sprinting. And as they live in an unjust world, hostage guy isn’t even breaking a sweat despite the three piece suit.

“You’re not going to get far on foot,” Philza murmurs. As corrupt and useless as the cops are for most things in this city, he doesn’t imagine there’d actually be that much fuss over a random man being kidnapped, but he wonders what they’ll do if spooked a little more. It’s been amusing thus far. The boys bicker, then elect to force him to drive as neither have licenses. They don’t ask him to drive to their homes, instead some secondary location. Smart, albeit Philza will definitely know both addresses within the hour.

While Tommy is busy ‘threatening’ Philza about the consequences of not getting them there, Tubbo just leans over from a bag of chips he’s munching on and offers them to Phil. Tommy rounds on him, less for showing exploitable kindness to the hostage and more for eating the Doritos that were meant to be his. Philza almost chides them for revealing each other’s names, but decides it might just be easier to hand them notes at the end of this. So far they aren’t getting a passing grade in abduction. But he has to admit it’s far more entertaining than the ‘business’ meeting he was planning to attend.

(Techno, meanwhile, hasn’t heard from Philza and is going BALLISTIC trying to figure out who kidnapped him. From the police report Phil just kinda went along with it, and looked terrified after a private exchange with the abductor, which has to mean the threat is ungodly to convince the Angel of Death to submit. Techno’s about to have a panic attack imagining the unthinkable horrors happening to his best friend, and is only holding it off by doing atrocities about it. This is the THIRD secret criminal organization he’s ripped apart in the last two hours and PHILZA ISNT HERE EITHER!?)

Philza has decided he likes his kidnappers. They’re not experienced in the slightest, but they make up for it with bravado, determination, and a certain lack of rationality that is necessary in the line of business Philza is in. Yes. They’ll do nicely if given a little guidance.

It’s half an hour before either of them notice Philza is driving aimlessly and they don’t recognize the city around them at all. “Hm? Next time I don’t recommend you give the hostage control of the vehicle. I could have immediately driven to the police station.”

Tommy frowns, almost more nervous at the implication the obvious blackmail would go unused. “…why didn’t you?”

“There’s no love lost between the cops and I. And even more importantly, you amuse me. I like your…potential.” He grins at the soft click of Tommy covertly trying the handle and finding the car doors locked. “Getting out at this speed is almost always fatal, Tommy.”

Tubbo lifts the muzzle of the fake gun towards him. “Let us go right. now.”

Philza leans over, ruffling Tubbo’s hair. The teen gulps at the glimpse of the holster Philza’s jacket was hiding, sharing a wide eyed look with Tommy. “I’m not exactly scared of foam bullets, mate.” He chuckles lowly at the tension freezing both of them. “Relax. You’ll be home by dinner. After you went through all the effort of kidnapping me to avoid trouble with your parents, I don’t intend to ruin it. I like you two; you have spunk I don’t see often. After all, it takes a lot of guts to kidnap the leader of the Syndicate.”

[what-am-i-doing-in-this-fandom]

I was wondering, does Fiddleford still have a wife in your Halloween au? And if yes, does she know about him being a vampire?

I've been sitting on this ask for a bit, but I think I should finally answer.

In my AU, Fidds is actually pretty old-- not like ancient or anything, but surely a few centuries?

Anyway, so way back, when he was human, he did have a wife and a kid!! But when he got bit and became a vampire, he actually outlived them :(

He tries to think about them often, but it's definitely one of the things he chooses to erase when he creates the memory gun

[stupidvillainousposts]

Some Werewolf Gene AU (is it an AU if it's based off an existing AU?) Because Puppies are Cute

Stan: *Laying on the Floor in the Sun*

Mabel and Dipper: *Run Up to Stan and Nip and Tug at Stan's Ears and Tail*

Stan: COWBOY! COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR?

Fidds, from the kitchen: THEY'RE YER NIBLIN'S! YER RESPONSIBILITY!

Stan: Ah, sprinkles.

-----------------------------

Dipper: I don't get why we're werewolves! We're nothing like Stan!

Stan: *Sits Down and Scratches an Itch Behind His Ear with His Foot*

Dipper, whilst grumbling: *Does the Same Exact Thing as Stan*

Fidds, smirking: Nah, o' course yer not.

-----------------------

Mabel: *Running in a Circle and Barking*

Stan: *Looks at Dipper with a Smug Smirk* Wanna join?

Dipper: What??? No! That's silly and childish and-

Stan: Not something that'll leave you incredibly bored?

Dipper: Curse you, old man... *Runs Off to Play with Mabel*

Stan, smiling fondly: Can't curse an already cursed man, Squirt!

--------------------------

Fidds: Stanley, sweetie? Could ya go get the pups ready fer dinner?

Stan: But I just got comfy! Can't they eat upstairs?

Fidds: *Glares at Stan and Hisses*

Stan: *Sighs* Yes, dear.

---------------------------

Stan, gripping Dipper and Mabel by the backs of their shirts: Alright, that’s enough fighting for one day. Fidds wants me to trim your claws.

Mabel, sing-song: And you're doing it because you love him!

Stan: I care about Fidds. A lot. No need for labels.

Dipper: Werewolves can't love vampires anyway.

Stan: Whoa, hold on! Who told you that?

Dipper: I've read a lot of monster books. The two species just aren't compatible.

Mabel, mischievously: Tell that to the werewolf and vampire who smooch each other and say "I love you" every morning.

Stan, his ears lowering and tail wagging: You have no proof of that!

---------------------------

Stan: *Barks at Tate*

Fidds: Stanley? Why are ya barkin' at my son?

Stan: He's got something up his sleeves. I just know it.

Fidds: Okay? Well, I just got the pups down for a nap, so try not to-

Tate: *Starts to Walk Up to the Shack*

Stan: *Barks Aggressively and Starts Howling*

Dipper and Mabel: *Start Howling Too*

Fidds: *Sighs* I'll make the pups more warm milk...

[paynomindtotheinsanity]

Aftermath:

[sainteclectic]

I LOVE vampire aus I also love when said vampire is really just some sad pathetic hungry bat and not evil guy number one million

so fun fact about the bat thing actually. we were talking about what kind of vampire lore whole should have, and I remembered dracula can become a wolf too

ouppy whole real?

[ilikedetectives]

Seven Deadly Sins (Wrath) BG3Valentines (x) Prompts (x)

[midnightmoodlet-art]

I always see your pfp when its tiny and think its a vampire mouth or something and then I open it and go "yayyy affogatoooo" Now i propose to you: vampire affogato

... YOU.

I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I'VE BEEN ROTTING OVER THIS EVER SINCE I GOT IT A WEEK AGO AND KEPT THINKING HOW TO RESPOND.

Have this doodle as a merry fuck you /pos

[what-have-i-unleashed]

it's way past mid-autumn festival but i'm having ideas about nightmare's gang (specifically the murder time trio) as different figures in lunar mythology. like,

killer as chang'e. desperate to live when someone threatens her so she eats the immortality elixir and ascends to the moon, the closest celestial place where she can still gaze at her husband who she left behind. imagine this but with killer and color. killer making a deal with nightmare and gaining (semi)immortality, but the price is to leave color behind. and he can only see color from afar from time to time. sad times incoming.

murder as the moon rabbit. the companion/pet to chang'e, producing moon cakes and the immortality elixir as its celestial duty. murder being acquired by nightmare to be killer's companion so he won't be lonely. murder being worked to the bone (heh), killing and killing, because that's all what he's good for.

horror as the man in the moon. the woodcutter being granted a magical tree. but once his wife accidentally waters it with unclean water, the tree uproots itself and floats upwards to heaven. and the man desperately grabs onto it and flies to the moon. horror being in a bad situation and the only branch he can hold onto being nightmare. so nightmare drags him away into his gang, leaving behind his family and community.

that's all i can think of right now lol

[yewsoup]

Stuck

Words: 777

A conversation between Warden Gaeric, and the random guy he found in the Icelands and promptly befriended. As he does with many of the strange things that cross his path. They are just buddies <3

Can also be read Here on Ao3!

"I feel stuck." Is how the conversation starts. Gaeric whittling wood. The thing he found out in the snow and the cold and thought was human, but nobody's quite sure anymore, flopped upside down over a log sorting sticks. Pointed ears twitching in time to the knife.

He glances down at it. Meeting it's glowing eyes. "You are stuck. You don't remember where you came from, or how you got here, so you can't go back."

It twists- a little too fluid in it's movements- to sit up properly. Hands folded in it's lap. "Not like that- i..." Ingo- that's the name it had remembered- struggles with it's words. A fang pokes out as it bites it's lip. "Elsewise. Stuck otherwise. Something isn't... right."

Gaeric raises a brow at it. Pausing in his work. This is a serious conversation, apparently.

"I feel stiff. Wrong."

Well, it isn't very good in the cold, so maybe it's the cold getting to it. "You can go inside if you need."

But it closes it's eyes. Shaking it's head and clicking it's tongue. "Not the cold. I am warm!" It plucks at the extra thick tunic over it's black underlayer. "This keeps me warm." He's pretty sure it's wearing it's strange thin shirt under both of them. Which alongside it's jacket, makes four layers. So it'd be strange if it was cold, even out here.

"But you feel stiff?" It nods. "Stiff. Stuck. Something is missing." It sighs. "I wish I could remember what..." "Maybe you just need to do stretches?"

Ingo blinks at him. "Stretches?"

"You know, stretches? They loosen up your body?" Gaeric puts down his whittling proper. Standing and doing a couple stretches he KNOWS Ingo has watched him do.

"Oh! Your funny poses!" It mulls over it's words in it's head a second. "Yoga?"

He can't help but snort at the wording. It really didn't know...? "I don't know what yoga is, but yes. My 'funny poses' as you call them, are stretches! They loosen up my body before a workout!"

It squints at him. Tilting its head as it watches him move. Before standing up with a little grunt, using it's hands on it's knees to push itself to it's feet.

Then, it tries to copy him.

Gaeric laughs, and goes through the motions. Giving tips as it moves. It becomes a game of follow the leader as he goes through an impromptu routine. Ingo keeping up as well as it can.

"Maybe you should join me in my morning stretches!" Is said as a joke.

But Ingo is delighted by the idea! Nodding excitedly. "Yes! I feel so much better after these stretches! It reminds me of..." The gleam disappears from it's eyes as it's mouth returns to it's common frown. Memories slipping from it's grasp as they're wont to do. "I don't know."

Ah... Gaeric sighs. But he does his best to smile at Ingo. Patting his shoulder with a hand. "That's alright, buddy. Now we know the stretches help you, yeah? Maybe you'll remember something in time."

Ingo still frowns- maybe he frowns so much from the stiffness he's apparently been feeling? Or it's just the cold. But he nods, and is excited when he suggests "I can show them to Emmet when I see him next!" Ah yes, Emmet. Another oddity of Ingo is his friendship with the bloodsucking bat Pokemon...

Not that Gaeric can argue, what with his own predisposition to dangerous Pokemon. ... And finding strange things out in the snow. As proven by Ingo.

"I'm sure Emmet would love to hear about the stretches." He agrees. "You're going to see him again soon, aren't you?"

"Yes. And I made a toy for the Sneasel! I think it will like it."

"Is that what you were nicking your hands up carving?" "My hands are not nicked. They healed fine!" "You almost cut your finger off, Ingo."

It opens it's mouth to retort, but a gust of wind blows through it. Cutting it off as it shudders and pulls it's black coat closer around itself to stave off the chill.

Ah. It's gotten late, hasn't it? "You should head inside, it'll be no good if you freeze again. And I need to attend to some duties." Ingo doesn't fight it. A good sign of having learned better. As it nods and ducks into the tent. Hands covered in gloves that don't keep them warm shoved under it's armpits as it goes.

Gaeric watches it go. Calling, "I'll be back soon!" And walking off to check on everyone, tucking the rough-hewn froslass he had been working on into the folds of his tunic.

[sophistired18]

lovebite❣️

[widowshill]

— I couldn't care less about your future. — Well, you'd better care, because you're part of it, and so is your wife.

r/v/b for @tortoisesshells.

[vermillianno]

[colormepurplex2]

Blood Bride | MYG

▻ Blood Bride ↳  vampire!Yoongi x human!f.Reader ⤜ Vampire/Paranormal Investigation/Occult Enthusiasm ⤜ Strangers/Lovers, Accidental Marriage | angst, smut ⤜ Rating: MA 🔞 ⤜ WC: 9,756 ⤜ Summary: When a single drop of blood changes your entire reality, you have no one to blame but your best friend, Jimin, and your apparent inability to say no to a dare—especially when rumors of vampires are involved OR you accidentally give Yoongi your blood and become his blood mate

⚠️ Talk of the occult/blood rituals/cults, foul language, crass humor, blood (drinking, spilling, mild play), hyper sexual advances/blood makes you SUPER horny, teasing, kissing, unprotected sex, voyeurism/exhibitionism, creampie.  Yoongi has big fangs and an even bigger ego. Please check the beginning of each chapter for specific warnings.

Chapter 1: I Dare You

Chapter 2: Here Comes The Bride

Story is complete.

Part of the Bangtan Writers HQ March 2023 ‘Yoongi, Marry Me’ Writing Event.

A special thank you to @downbad4yoongi​ for betaing and believing in me.

Can also be found on: Ao3 | Wattpad

◅ Back to Master List

©️    2023-03-30   ColorMePurplex2    

[dropofbittersea]

“MARRIED?”

“Basically married. Permanently engaged anyway. Weres have their own deal.” Natasha sounds much, much too gleeful about Steve’s rapidly expanding personal hell. “So you better wake your blushing bride and tell him the happy news: that it was an accident and you had no idea what you were doing.”

“I,” Steve says, strangled. “I can’t do that!”

“You can’t?”

“He thought I was proposing! And he accepted!”

“Wow, maybe he’s just as dumb as you are,” Natasha says thoughtfully.

“I can’t just promise him a ring, take him home, drink from him three times in a row and then wake him up the next morning to say oops, just kidding!” Steve casts around, looking at his wreck of an apartment. “I don’t even have any good champagne!”

[im-so-tired-i-want-a-nap]

Wolfstar but make it vampire?