#AUGH they make me SICK
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chat. chat is this real. chat are you listening to me right now. chat.
#something about bloody hands reaching out in desperation for eachother#something about hope and something about life#something about 'please dont leave me here. i cant die like this. not without you'#something about leaving things behind#AUGH they make me SICK#saw#saw 2004#chainshipping#reanimator#reanimator 1985#danbert
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SHOOT.
(original panel under the cut)
Trigun Maximum, chp. 10
#quiddlegoose art#trigun#trimax#trigun maximum#trigun fanart#trimax fanart#vash the stampede#vash trigun#vash fanart#nicholas d. wolfwood#wolfwood fanart#vashwood#this is my absolute favorite trimax panel im so happy i finally got around to drawing it :D#just.. AUGH!!! they make me sick#love it when ww's just a shape. thats top tier wolfwood right there
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so, would you?
nothing important under the cut, you don't need to look haha
#inspired by the random youtube short i saw about how these types of questions are not really about logic but about emotion and reassurance#doesn't matter if the question doesn't make sense. you say 'yes' because you love them no matter what. not because its a worm or a bug or#or anything. its a way of saying 'i will love you when you've changed and when you're different. because it's still *you*.'#idk something about it just felt so gentle and genuine. like a pure display of affection through a silly question...#and of course fnc was the first thing i thought about because i got brainworms#jrwi fish and chips#jrwi riptide#jrwi chip#gillion tidestrider#my art#sketch#also im back from a vacation! and i feel so awful i got sick the first day home and im sitting here at 6am drawing fishes and chips#the dialog feels a little ooc but i cant figure out if it really is or if its because my head hurts and i cant think#tbh it doesn't really matter.......... but it matters to me augh#ALSO yes the under the cut bit is about episode 109. i dont know if its clear or not
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#you all moved on but i stayed there#feywild fnc... it hits so differently#the unberable guilt? the yearning? being unsure if you ever see each other again?#immaculate#chef's kiss#do you think ever since then every time chip saw gillion go down or being on the brink of death#he had flashbacks to handing gill that card and just seing all gill's belongings clatter to the floor so unceremoniously#do you think the first night after the fight woth captain widow he just laid there awake#thanking whatever gods would listen that it was him and not THEM#AUGH#chip jrwi...#he makes me so sick#jrwi riptide#jrwi#just roll with it#jrwi fanart#gillion tidestrider#jrwi chip#sketches#digital art
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Kinoga's squad picture, taken a year after the group was formed.
#THEY MAKE ME SICK !!!!!!!!!!!!! AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#this particular Picture was featured in a few mini comics#trito has this photo framed in his room#about time I went and rendered it#splatoon#splatoon ocs#my ocs#my art#kinoga#trito#agara#kanu#denchu#jilon#something about how they found joy in each other despite the military being Not Great#but like ugh. the joy feels so innocent. they don't know that the narrative is going to come beat them with a hammer#<-ren said this#theyre so... auuu.......... auuuuuuuuuuuu......................#octolings#octarian soldiers
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STRANGE NOISES FROM THE HOLE IN THE WALL HEADCANONS/INTERPRETATIONS UHHH OBVIOUS SPOILERS. CLARISSA CENTRIC CAUSE. HOLY SHIT
clarissa is to locomotion as clara is to the nutcracker. she's the kid who dreamed him into existence hundreds of years ago. i know he says he's older than the devil - i think that's still plausible, he's existed since thought but wasn't attached to the Silver Line or brought into physical existence until clarissa, lonely or in danger or just bored, imagined a world where she could escape from her everyday life and live as a grown-up(? maybe? since benjamin/timothy/billy seemed to age up as soon as he went through the portal?), with freedom and whimsy and eventually a relationship with the friendly driver.
why do i say this? because otherwise im really fucking confused lmao, that first scene where clarissa and loco are introduced is strange in the context of the end of the play. they seem to have known each other for a good while before they get on the train. they act like a young couple who's stumbled upon the silver line as an escape from danger and now they're excited for their new life in a new, safe world. except that loco also says he's been driving the train for years.
(looking back, that very much feels like a scenario from a child's imagination - or perhaps a dream - where of course he's been doing this for years, that's his job, but of course they're glad they've found the train together, this is a new experience for her so it's just an extension of her perspective)
but clara is, she says, a child when she gets on the train. idk how old "little girl" is, but if we run with this headcanon and also assume that the timeline is both linear and literal, she's imagining herself in some form of a sexual relationship with loco at a pretty young age.
i posit that this can be reconciled in several ways (some more disturbing or inappropriate than others), but one thing that could be considered is that the first scene where loco and clarissa are introduced is symbolic of their relationship over the course of the train's history. depending on how old clarissa was when she first dreamt the world into existence, she might not have even been very aware of loco, and spent her time just enjoying the escapism or whatever. after a few years or however long, she starts to get older and decides to learn how she's actually done this, maybe spends a long time trying to understand exactly what's going on. maybe her research leads her to a relationship with loco, i don't know. they do get on the train together, maybe, when they're both young (or, well, relatively speaking) and new to the world, and loco eventually has been driving the train for years and years and clarissa makes it a bit more tolerable with some companionship after a long lonely time. but those things don't happen simultaneously, because i think those things don't really work simultaneously. that scene is a sort of speedrun/amalgamation of how the two of them have interacted over the years. and yeah i guess that means they fucked at one point in there
(im going to be transparent, some of that is a bit of cope/rationalization. i think loco and the conductor are very exes/begrudging coworkers vibes, but i do like clarissa and loco together as well - unsettlingly powerful girl x eldritch being with a soft spot is a very good trope. and im trying to make it work out okay? give me a break lol. you don't have to agree with me on this, but once i see a luke and tom couple with a fun and compelling dynamic i will not let them go even if the ethics get a bit hard to explain later on. sorry, anyways moving on)
additionally, and i probably should have said this earlier, a reason i think this whole nutcracker theory holds up is because clarissa holds a sort of unique power in the world. she's been on the silver line for hundreds of real-years, who knows how many train-years, and still remembers her name and something of her old life. loco isn't hostile to her, even confirming her memory of her name and reminding her of her birthdate. with everyone else (ex. benjamin), he actively discourages them from remembering their lives. despite seemingly being one of the oldest passengers, she doesn't transform for hundreds of years. she obviously has some significance.
you know how that ties in? if this is clarissa's world, if her mind is what created the whole thing, then i think it makes sense to assume it's tied to her. as she begins to question her surroundings, then panic as she realizes she can't leave, her emotional and/or mental state becomes less stable, less utopic, less perfect. the dream begins to turn into a nightmare. and it becomes. well. an ouroboros. the snake eats its own tail and the train goes in circles and the escapist fantasy clarissa once loved becomes a prison of her own design. trapped in the very thing that was supposed to save her.
maybe that's why anthony and benjamin can get out when they do - as clarissa's world decays, as she finally begins to become part of the nightmare, as she melds with the train, the world has to shift a bit. it's reaching the point of no return - once clarissa has been fully sucked in, the train will never stop again. falling into an infinite nothing. but in that moment, there's one final chance for the conductor to stall locomotion, one final leap that could at last pull benjamin and anthony and everyone who's been sucked in by clarissa's black hole of a nightmare out of the portal and back into the real world.
and now, clarissa has lost three hundred years of a life that should never have lasted so long. gained perhaps thousands of years of memories of joy and connection and despair and panic and forever forever forever. and she is once again trapped in a vessel of her own making - her body is that of the child she has not been for lifetimes. her world is dead and gone - not just the world she created, but the world she escaped from as well. what of locomotion, that brief flash of connection? does he even exist anymore? who is she, now? who was she? where can she possibly go from here?
shoutout delirium_undead on discord for going along with the nutcracker theory and helping me flesh this out. your ideas are so galaxy brained and i am forever in your debt
#OKAYYY she gives me so many feelings#this longform was recordbreaking in both length and the amount of plot and lore they stuffed in there oh my word#fucking. augh !!!! CLARISSA !!!#cannot even express how hard i have thought about this. it's been twelve hours since i saw it lmao. oughhhhh im gonna be sick#toasty talks#blorboposting#sfth clarissa#strange noises from the hole in the wall#shoot from the hip#sfth#sfthposting#analysis#toast watches sfth#i'm sure i've forgotten things...oh well more posts for later i guess#i wrote PARAGRAPHS in discord. more than i wrote here even. i was just trying to figure out what the hell is going on#and finally worked something out!! i think this makes sense tbh and i really like what it says about everybody#oh the conductor i should talk about him too. maybe later
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Baby, I'm in love And it's not in to tell Only thing that I can do is hold it in
#fitz fellow#penny pointer#tangle tower#my art#these two actually make me sick in the head#augh. aughh.
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You guys remember that this is the 10 year anniversary of his girlfriend’s death right.
#he makes me SICK#dude imagine living your life and probably wanting to sleep for the next million years but you’ve got a mystery to solve#so you can’t even grieve.#augh#thyme plays unwound future
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I want y'all to realise Rayla and Callum probably would risk mass and self destruction just to ensure they get to keep the other alive. And, technically Callum already has done the second one, with the whole dark magic stuff...
Anyway they're the best ship ever and idc if they destroy the entirety of Xadia and the human kingdoms, it'll all be worth it for another on screen kiss <3
#rayla#rayllum#callum#tdp#the dragon prince#tdp callum#callum tdp#rayla tdp#tdp rayla#i love them#theyre so#augh#they make me sick#in the best way possible
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something something normscary. rotating in my brain like a rostisserie chicken <3
#normscary#normal oak swallows garcia#scary marlowe#the panels are from a nyx fic!#they make me so sick#i love them so much augh#do you ever think how they are two sides of the same coin#both having so much love to give and being so scared to love but finding that comfort in each other#dndads#dndads s2
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hm… no I don’t think Gertrude was feeling cold and uncaring when she sacrificed Michael. I don’t think she just dusted her hands off and walked away. I think she was used to risky plans and close calls, even used to an occasional casualty, but her blood ran cold when she realized she was choosing to send one to their death. not collateral damage — a sacrifice.
and I think she tried to be as numb as possible, calculating, deciding, even as she knew deep down that only one of her assistants would walk straight into hell on her word.
and I think she found him a bit annoying before that. the jaded resent the naive — it isn’t fair, but it’s true. but by the time he brought her tea the next day, in her mind, he was already dead. everyone looks better dead. optimism, trust, loyalty all become virtues where they were once liabilities.
I don’t think she didn’t feel the gravity of her choice. I think she did it anyway.
and she did not hesitate.
#the concept of necessary sacrifice makes me a little bite bite scratch bite#how do you choose one person to die for the safety of the world?#but that’s not the right question#how do you *not* make that choice? how do you let the world die?#be hated and reviled by everyone for your betrayal#but they wouldn’t be around to hate you if you hadn’t done it#augh#and yes I know it wasn’t technically necessary thank u mag 160 you sick bastard#but at the time she wouldn’t have known that#yes I’m a Michael stan and a Gertrude apologist. we exist.#fuck it maintagging#tma#michael distortion#michael shelley#gertrude robinson
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gonna leave this here since it flopped on my editing tt acc
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Now hear me out ; When they kiss.. it all comes back to this moment ™️
but
Lisa doesn't run this time. She knows she needs to be happy and it's what becky would've always wanted for her and she loves carla so deeply that she can't run from it any longer..Tucking her hair behind her ear and caressing her face so gently aswell.. or lisa goes in and holds her too they're both gently and so passionately cusping eachothers faces leaning into the others touch and just like that.
Everything goes away
Perhaps carla gently kisses her forehead and they just touch foreheads with their eyes closed and just knowing it's them against everything and they've been through so much and can work through it. But together.
They need eachother more than ever and they understand eachother on such deep and personal levels.. It'll be tough, but they'll fight through it. They have to live despite it all
#wasnt expecting to get this emotional abt them on a Saturday night woops!#but just augh aughh#they make me so incredibly soft it makes me sick#they've both been through so so much#and they both know they can face it together#brave the world and whatever it throws at them#because through all of it they'll have eachother#lisa wont have to do it all alone ever again#they both have someone they can be vulnerable with and open up to without shame or guilt eating them up from the inside#their love is so unconditional#you guys have full permission to want me dead for any pain caused xx#coronation street#swarla#carla x lisa#carla connor#lisa swain#ps i drafted this like twice and posted it on twt first#i dont usually write stuff im alittle rusty
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Because I haven't seen this posted before, here's the dialogue that happens when you break off Lucanis' romance
#I always make a safety save before cutscenes to repeat them but also to make different choices#sans undertale was right i am a sick fuck who reloads and chooses bad options just to see what happens#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#veilguard#veilguard spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age lucanis#mirghilanan de riva#my posts#datv#datv spoilers#''lucanis approves'' AUGH#ngl this hurt a lil :( he looks so sad.. like he was starting to believe that whatever spark he felt between him & Rook was real#he was likely feeling hopeful about Rook being into him despite the mess he is. as he calls it.#he probably thinks about it a lot during sleepless nights hoping for it to be real considering hes a romantic yet never had a relationship#n then Rook hits him with the 'ehh maybe not! But the team is here for ya bud :)'#Luca is stronger than me bc id simply throw myself off the lighthouse cliff tbh
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we need more son and mom content of them,,
#mgs3#mgs fanart#mgs3 snake eater#revolver ocelot#mgs ocelot#mgs#mgs3 fanart#major ocelot#mgs3 ocelot#mgs3 the boss#the boss mgs#the boss#son and mom#they make me sick augh#tears up…
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I was personally assaulted (honorific) by this essay on ambition. It's very good.
#megs is reading#I would've linked it as a full link but it didn't parse right. which probably means it has some settings against AI which. good for them!#hilariously I was complaining immediately before reading it that SO MUCH of the discussion around burnout and overwork are like#'well you should train yourself to enjoy things and live in the moment and say fuck work and not worry about it making you more productive!#and like. as a writer. as a person whose brain will eat itself alive if I do not write. NOT because augh productivity#but cuz [that one post about how if you don't draw the images will clog up inside you and make you sick]#this does not ever spark joy. I want to do the work I enjoy and find fulfilling! I want that work to be valued enough to let me do it!#where is my discussion around burnout for people who like. can in fact sit down and enjoy a nice cup of tea or cooking a pot of soup#that's not the goddamn problem here. the problem is that not all labor is valued and in fact very little labor if any is valued.#the products are labor are valued. the labor itself is an inconvenient stepping stone that it would be nice to not have to take.#ANYWAY I'm just going to go try to finish my fucking book draft now. and convince myself that it matters.
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