#ANyway this just came about because my irl friends BULLY ME about it

[ev-fav]

Questionably holy trinity of taste in men

Oscar by potato lord but not

Martin by starapture

[3v3ry0n3z-fav3-al13n-x3]

Hey y'all. This post is a (not so) short life update of mine.

I haven't been posting much both on my main and oc ask blog, the reason being I'm now attending art school!! Plus I moved into a youth dormitory (tho I'm currently at home for the weekends)

I'm now living with a roommate of mine, who's really nice :33 we already became friends before I moved in, we actually went to the cosplay convention I posted about a while ago. We have lots of the same interests (THEY EVEN KNOW ABOUT FTUT WOOOO-) and I think it's safe to say that I got pretty lucky with my current roommate ^_^

Anyway, about art school - I was pretty excited about it before I went there, but ngl I was also really nervous and at times even panicking because I was scared it'd turn out just as bad as my previous schools and that I'd get bullied again-- but luckily, so far it actually went really well :DDD I already found a couple of friends, there's a goth girl as one of my classmates who complimented my fit on the first day >_< my classmates seem to be actually friendly, a girl came up to me in the halls today telling she loves my outfit and wants to draw me, and I didn't even get any weird looks!!!!! (trust me I was looking around like crazy lol)

Yesterday I accidentally got deadnamed by a classmate and another guy from class immediately corrected them, and they apologized!! Ik this might not seem like much, but as someone who got bullied in school for YEARS because of both my gender identity and clothing style, this is a pretty big deal for me (in a good way)

In short, art school is going really well for me so far, and I hope it'll stay that way while I'm still attending it. Everyone is just so nice and they treat me like an actual human being, unlike some other people from my prev schools......

Anyway, I think it's pretty safe to say that my life's actually getting better now! Which i honestly didn't believe would ever happen in the past. I'm so grateful and thankful to everyone who helped me get through all of my troubles, who helped me stay alive and who have stuck with me even through my not-the-best moments, that includes: my parents, my online friends, my (not fake) irl friends, my followers / mutuals and even just online strangers who decided to check up on me after seeing my vent posts. I just want to say...

Thank you all <333333

[spellbooksandcricketbats]

Thinking about why DBD managed to hit me so hard in the Older Queer feelings place.

I went to high school from 2002-2006 and it fucking sucked. For reference, YouTube wasn't founded until 2006, and this was before smartphones and social media and thus easier access to ~*~socially transgressive~*~ material.

The only queer characters I remember seeing on TV while growing up were punchlines (Will & Grace) or grimdark suffering and tragedy (Queer as Folk, The L Word, Nip/Tuck). The biggest slur hurled at us was gay ("Dude, that's so fuckin gay, don't be such a pussy!"). I never actually came out of the closet in high school, but I was still bullied for being perceived as queer because I dressed goth and, at the time, goth was still enough of a subculture to get mashed in with 'everything else society considers fucked up.' I knew two 'out' queer kids in high school, both gay cis boys who leaned effeminate, and dear god they were not treated kindly. Matthew Shepard's brutal torture and murder was still fresh in our collective memory. I also made the classic mistake of falling in love with one of my oldest, and straightest, girl friends. 🙃

And this was near the California Bay Area, traditionally considered one of the most queer-friendly regions!

So anyway, fast-forward to today, and here's Edwin, being unabashedly effeminate in all the ways that I learned to associate with getting a fast fuckin beatdown, and he's...treated with respect, both by other characters and ALSO the broader narrative. He's the recipient of multiple different kinds of love and attraction. None of his flaws have anything to do with being effeminate. And even the surface-level dynamic of Charles being his self-proclaimed protector has nothing to do with Edwin's own abilities -- that he is, in fact, able to endure in ways that no other character has been shown capable of yet, and again, not for any reasons that have to do with the narrative itself punishing Edwin for daring to be gay.

And then: the confession in Hell. When I eventually confessed to my best friend, she hemmed and hawed and put me off without a concrete answer, only that she was happy with her current boyfriend. Fair enough! But then she strung me along for a couple of years until I finally pushed for an answer on whether or not there was any hope, and only then did she said no, she's straight. In retrospect, both of us could have handled it better than we did; we haven't spoken since.

So when Edwin confessed, I found myself getting tense, bracing myself for the inevitable brush-off and awkwardness, which is a common reaction IRL, just...not the fictional wish-fulfillment one from a viewer, y'know? Except that's not what happened! It's not that Charles didn't give Edwin a hard 'no' (no one is ever, ever obligated to return affection), it's that Charles gave Edwin an HONEST one, AND it was kind, and there wasn't a sense that their friendship had lost any trust or anything!

And I'll be honest, that made my cracked, stoic heart cry just a little bit and healed something from my late teen/young adult self.

[olderthannetfic]

I was an undiagnosed autistic until after I graduated, so for a long time I had a lot of difficulty making friends, particularly in IRL spaces. By the time I was 16 literally every friend I had was online, and since the adults in my life weren't ideal, this online group was really the only support group I had. Unfortunately they were all antis, but they were never the aggressive kind, and I wasn't very well versed in anti/pro discourse at the time anyways, so I just dealt with it. I'd have fun with "problematic" stuff quietly and in private, and everything was alright.

At some point I came across a group of more aggressive antis, and the way that they treated artists in our shared fandom that they didn't like was so jarring to me. I ended up getting into it with them and they held a grudge against me for a long time after that, following and harassing me even after I cut ties and went on with my life with my original friend group. They just would not leave me alone no matter how much time had passed. I'd never seen that before and just tried to ignore them, but fuck were they persistent.

I'd been dealing with a lot more stress after this started, from a wide variety of IRL issues, and aside from not knowing I was autistic, I was also dealing with a lot of other random mental problems that I still don't really fully understand. I think all the stress in my life, from a lot of horrible things that I honestly think I might have PTSD from now, put me into some kind of paranoid mental break. I started behaving really erratically, very publicly. I know it was obvious because I'd constantly get concerned messages asking if I'm okay. People knew I was going through a lot and that I wasn't mentally stable.

With all that being said, this group of antis LOVED seeing me like this. It didn't matter what I was dealing with, that it was destroying my mental health. They had a grudge over some petty fiction stuff, were still upset that I told them off for harassing random people, and they used this fragile period of time for me to amp up their harassment and stalking. I started losing friends I'd trusted for reasons I couldn't understand, and it turned out they'd been telling them I wasn't trustworthy and that they should cut contact. They thought it was so much fun to feed into my pre-existing issues and make things worse.

I don't mean to trauma-dump or anything, so sorry if this is too heavy, but my point is that antis do not and will never care about how much they hurt someone, and that it's likely the entire point to begin with. Even the friends that supported me at the start ended up turning against me once I became too much of a social hazard to associate with. Even the ones who seemed like more "rational" antis, who never went out of their way to hurt anybody. They all turned out to be the same and it never made any difference what our history was or how important they knew they were to me.

It's not worth it to stay. It's never worth it to stay with people like that. Even to this day I'm amazed at how horribly these experiences affected me in the long-term. I go to therapy and end up talking about this period of time more than anything that happened during my childhood. Lots of people I trusted decided I wasn't worth the risk, not even because of anything I did, but just because I said harassment wasn't okay, and because I wasn't in a healthy state of mind. They saw my stress and paranoia and thought "Well, this isn't someone worth helping. People already don't like them. I don't want to throw away my social life for that." All over fiction. I still can't make friends anymore, this destroyed my ability to trust people. The isolation isn't worth the short-term friendships.

Everyone deserves better than that. If somebody is friends with antis... just leave. Trust me. Just get out.

--

What bullies want most is for you to cry in public.

We might not like to admit it, but deep in the core of many people is a seed of sadistic delight in public humiliation, and not the fun kind you do with consenting partners. When people feel small, when they lack control, when their real enemies are faceless or unreachable, they want something soft and defenseless and small to hurt.

Re your "friends", most people are cowards when it comes down to it.

The ones that aren't are 1. going to get harassed too and 2. are the sort of people who walk into that on purpose, which often means they're pretty confrontational and aggressive the rest of the time. Look at the life of any great activist whom we all thank from afar for what they did for our community... and you will often find a person who's not an easy or calm friend day to day. Not always, but not infrequently.

My actual friend friends that I can rely on are not only older but also usually out of the reach of the sort of people who send me death threats. I don't generally reveal their fandom names on here because it would bring a lot of nuisance down on their heads. (And, tbh, a lot of them are quasi-lurkers anyway.) The Fandom Olds you'll see openly associating with me on Tumblr generally have a cast iron stomach for wank and either like fighting or just find all the combatants so pathetically irrelevant that nothing's going to get through to them emotionally.

Antis do suck, but if you look at any sort of big fandom drama or even offline bullying, you'll see that many people will quietly slither away when the public ostracism of their "friend" gets too much. It's sadly not a property unique to antis.

Most would like to think of themselves as that fictional hero they love who stands up for the downtrodden no matter what the cost. Most are lying to themselves.

It doesn't stop me from being friendly to new people, but yes, I absolutely assume they will fold like wet tissue at the first sign of trouble, especially if I only know them online. They're not all mean people, just weak.

But yes, avoiding people such as antis who've openly told you they're hypocritical cowards with bad values is a step in the right direction.

[jenyifer]

So bad news I may started writing a fic for SVSSS. Now will it be poly like my only friends fic? Ehhh??? Probably not *squints* maybe. 🤔 anyways thought I’d share incase there is already a fic like it or if people won’t enjoy it. Came up with the idea as I thought about how LBH is SQH’s self insert as an author it’s easier to put a lot of yourself into the main character. Yeah it’s an idealized sexy man meat mountain of a man but I think the chaotic clingy curly hair comes from Airplane. So I thought welll what if SQQ is an idealized version of an older student bully who was cold collected things Airplane had a big fat gay crush on which is why he wanted his self insert to be changed by SQQ and kill him.

So just a simple not so simple reversal. MBJ and LBH are friends irl. LBH unknowingly reads and simps for the universe MBJ writes in his free time. The plot of (yet to be named web novel) is more about demon emperor SQQ solving mystery’s and crisis by being intelligent and alluring he’s also overly powerful with his ally Northern King SQH who is chaotic and resourceful. Most people ship SQQ and SQH together even though the romance elements in the webnovel are few and far between and usually some unobtainable one night stands with the villain or tragic woman who will be killed the next day. LBH loves SQQ has all the merch. LBH finds out MBJ is the writer after he reads the latest chapter where SQH is cursed with demise under his skin making him weaken to be a shell of his demonic self. The dialogue between SQQ and SQH is creepily reminiscent of the conversation LBH had with MBJ when LBH had revealed he is dying because of late stage cancer. Of course SQQ is prepared to do anything to save his best friend sacrificing who he was because their friendship means more than the demon empire or SQQ’s morals. SQQ sacrifices his demonic energy to save his friend. Accompanying this chapter was an extra of a clumsy drawing saying this is what the ice king’s original drafts of the characters for the artists. LBH couldn’t help but notice how similar his characteristics are to SQH curly hair terribly thin and short while radiating power through his crazy expression and SQQ was tall and stoic and LBH is horrified to realize his best friend MBJ sees himself this way tall with straight hair with an aura of superiority. When LBH confronts MBJ about the webnovel MBJ who is normally silent and a shut in exclaims that of course it’s his novel. MBJ wanted to dream about a world where they could go out and have adventures together was that such an evil thing? LBH shouts that in this reality he’s going to die and what will MBJ do then. Everything shifts into a portal and they are brought into the webnovel. LBH a half Demon hiding his identity on one of the peaks a student under MBJ who is a peak lord. They decided if they are there they might as well find SQH and SQQ for plot reasons. Haha anyways idk if I can write something like that since… I have to work…. Also the cancer thing might be too real for me (I think it’s been 15 years since I lost a close friend to cancer) But I want to write it 😭

[aboutkiyoomi]

intro ➠ ex factor

twins+adopted miya | the inarazaki bunch | certifiedcitygurls

cw: language is all !

quick lesson on these sillies :

⟿ yn's a gymnast for tokyos u18 team, her ultimate goal is to be an all arounder at the olympics. she moved to tokyo originally but her coach allowed her to move back to hyogo where she trains privately. she travels between tokyo and hyogo for meets.

⟿ the twins have known yn since birth, mama miya is best friends with yn's mom. so, they've grown up together but they grew distant after yn moved to tokyo and got even closer when she came back to hyogo.

⟿ both of your parents ship you and atsumu because since the two of you were little, you were drawn to each other.

⟿ yn is a smiling friends enthusiast, she quotes it everyday. she thinks that osamu is the irl v. of alan

⟿ osamu hates this gc because it always turns in to him getting bullied by you two because he calls you guys out for being madly in love

⟿ atsumu is a certified cat lover in this series. do not ask me to elaborate but he is just obsessed with all cats. especially orange tabbys and maine coons. (everyone is tired of his barrage of cat memes or references)

⟿ he now has 5 cats, 2 of which are free range and are typically outside and come in during the winter months.

' milk is the stray that tsum brought home from the tweet. he seems old but he's a ragdoll and that made tsum extremely excited.

' kura is his kitten, she's a 3 month old maine coon. hes obsessed with her and named her that because she's a bit of a klutz.

' tamago is his other inside cat, he's a 2 year old orange tabby.

' pip is one of his outdoor cats, he's not sure how old he is but he looks young. he's a pretty siamese baby who lives in his backyard along with his gf.

' estella is pip's gf and tsumu's other outdoor cat. he's once again unsure how old she is or where she comes from but she lives in the backyard.

a/n: anyways it was absolutely necessary for you to know about each and every one of atsumu's kitties. its important to the plot, don't question my genius. IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS BOOK IM LITERALLY Squealing ANS jumping For Joy. its actually based loosely on someone in my life and i find that funny.

taglist: open! (send a request, ask or dm to be added)

[solitarily-sofia]

mini rant kinda (you can ignore this idm)

i had some random college trip today that i didnt even know about until i came in. ive not really got any friends at college and i tried not to overthink it because i have bad social anxiety and struggle speaking to new people so i thought thats probably why. ive been working on my social anxiety and its a little bit easier speaking to people (not perfect but im making progress atleast?

anyway, on the bus to this trip, when i say people did WHATEVER they could to not sit next to me i wish i was joking. i ended up having to sit next to my form tutor (however she is very nice). i worry that theres something about me that makes people think im unapproachable.

ive always been an easy target for bullying, i have a lazy eye and autism and sadly ive been bullied relentlessly for both in the past. i just wish people irl didnt see me as weird. i am okay on my own but i wish to an extent i had a friend if that makes sense. idk if it does

[puppypeter]

PLEASE tell us more about your oc who was Roy's guardian at Sunderland and the domino effect it had on his relationships with older women I am on my KNEES!!!!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏

I am once more circling back to my obsession with the potential of Sunderland!Roy and this headcannon has consumed my every waking thought. I NEED a fic that just chronicles Roy's experience growing up with her and the subsequent visits he pays her as he grows up. GIVE THAT MAN A PSEUDO-MOTHER FIGURE AND DO IT NOOOOOW‼️‼️‼️

Hahahahah I haven't fully thought her trough to be honest. It mostly came from the fact that I relate to Roy a lot and there's a recurring joke with my friends of how I somehow end up surrounded by older women, even my choice of gym class is a bunch of middle aged women and me (i'm 27), it's not even really a mum thing but for some reason you just kind of feel more relaxed around them? Like to me it's because they're so chill and they've been my age so when I stress about something and they "honey" me (in a caring way) it's just nice ahah (also I think brett goldstein said he also does a gym class with a bunch of women so maybe the yoga mums are a thing irl?)

Anyway - Sunderland Roy definitely needs more exploration. I like to think baby roy was a bit of a softie/dork and that being around his host allowed him the safety of being himself but then perhaps he got moved later on and combined with the struggle of not processing his grandad's passing and losing this supportive figure led to a lot of anger and obviously the being so good in an environment very fuelled by masculinity could have been the mix that gave us current roy.

I like to picture her as a much older woman but that doesn't really work unless instead of current-roy reuniting with her it's more of him going back to try and find her post-retirement when reflecting on his career (maybe talked about her with Dr Sharon when asked about if he's ever felt safe) and finding out she had passed years prior and dealing with the grief and feelings around that.

Or if she was younger like in her late 40s/early 50s making her around 80+ today they could still reconnect. Maybe she was a big football fan and he goes looking for her and then brings her to a match or something. I think he would totally take over financially if she needed like her place paid for, but not in a show off way, just to give her peace of mind. Also, love if she had been single when she was a host and later discovered she was a lesbian and married a woman or something. Like something something her, without fully knowing, being a safe space for little queer roy who also maybe wasn't really sure what he was feeling, but he never felt judged etc and I think that's also where he would;ve developed his strong hatred for bullies. She was a badass of sorts (also idk if you care for royjamie at all but i feel like it would be cute if seeing jamie and georgie is what made him think of her again and even more adorable if they were in an established but fairly new-ish relationship and he is invited to spend christmas with them and he brings her alongside ruth and phoebe)

[yourlocalxiaosimp]

Hey idk if this is okay for me to do but I need someone to talk to and I feel like I can trust you, feel free to ignore this if you’re uncomfortable.

I’m getting worried that my irl friends are starting to dislike me, they seem kind of distant and today they barely even talked to me, a couple didn’t talk to me at all. I’m pretty used to this happening, I finally make some friends but they have better friends than me or I do something wrong and we can’t be friends anymore. But I’m seriously tired of this, and it’s starting to get to me. I keep making them uncomfortable with my humor and overall actions. I want to change but I don’t know if that’s even healthy or if I even can, I have ADHD so it’s hard for me to make differences in what I do. My girlfriend even told me one of my friends “doesn’t know how to feel about me”.

Even though it wasn’t explicitly said she doesn’t like me, it’s basically the same thing in my case. I know I messed up and I don’t know how to fix it and I feel like such a shitty person for doing this to her. I even came out to my girlfriend about my sexuality and how insecure I am about it and made her uncomfortable. For about a year now, I’ve been really questioning whether having friends is really a good thing for me since all my friendships always end up making me feel like shit because of who I am. I’ve had three friends now whose parents don’t like me because of who I am.

I’ve also been getting bullied and harassed for being transgender and bi, and I got a no contact order against the main guy who’s been doing it. People always keep asking me about my relationship with my girlfriend and whether we’re still together. I want to break up with her but I can because I know it’ll ruin her. She has depression and autism so if I were to do this to her, I don’t know what will happen. But I hate romance and only accepted being her boyfriend because she asked me first, and I didn’t have the heart to reject her, and I wanted to be in a romantic relationship at the time even though I’m aromantic. I just want to be friends with her, but I don’t know how that will even work since she still has feelings for me.

My dad also is still getting angry over little things and making me hate myself even more. Everyone always has an excuse for why he does this, and while I acknowledge that and do feel bad that he feels that way, it doesn’t change the fact I feel so shitty because of him nor does it justify the way he treats me. I can’t even be upset about it because the older generations had worse childhoods than me.

I just hate myself so much and my depression isn’t getting any better, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t like therapy and my family is basically homeless so even if I was okay with therapy, my parents probably couldn’t pay for it anyway. I feel like such a terrible friend, son, brother, student, and just person in general. Sometimes I seriously question if I even deserve to live or if living is even worth it. I’d probably kill myself already if I wasn’t so scared to do it.

Again, so sorry for putting all this on you, I just need to talk to someone and you can ignore or delete this if you’re too uncomfortable with it.

There’s no need to apologize. Sometimes you just gotta let it out. I’ve actually had a similar experience with some of my irl friends.

I’d only get a little wary if you were looking for advice. I’m not good at giving that. The only “advice” I’d be able to give is to not let the fact that older generations had “worse” childhoods make you feel invalid. They were different eras, different standards, and different experiences. Their shitty isn’t gonna be the same as your shitty. No shitty time is worse than the other; just different.

I know it’s not much, but I sincerely hope things get better <3

[gakucchis]

my story about ♡being cyber bullied by the love live fandom even though i didn’t do anything♡

this has nothing to do with obey me and i doubt anyone will read this but.. who wants to know the story about how the whole love live fandom in 2017 was bullying and harassing me?? alright alright calm down everybody if you wanna know sooo badly

my account name for ig back then was dagashimanga/honokasmanjuu. i really just wanted an account to share my love live obsession with and shitpost.

if you were around back then, you remember the most famous love live confessions account on ig and all the DRAMA it came with. like so so much went down there it was hilarious. anyway, i was friends with one of the admins, her user was christmas.eli.

she was like one of my first internet friends. i live in germany and she lived in france, so sometimes we’d talk like the whole night. we were super close.

until… KAYLEE happened.

now, if you were around back then… you know who tf that is!! it was a (presumably) 10-13 year old girl who would have tons of accounts (talking 20+), all very girly and feminine, super pink, etc. she would either wanna be your friend or hate you to death, and often times when you wouldn’t become her friend or wouldn’t do the right thing, she’d hate you, stalk you, harass you, everything. blocking her didn’t work.

so, one day, i was her victim. idk how it started, but something set her off. she harassed me, texted me, created an account called honokasmanjuuu and copied my posts word for word lmao

a few days later, i took a nap and woke up to see my ig BLOWING up. what the hell happened? well, kaylee fabricated a screenshot of the worst thing you could do in the love live fandom: scam someone of their sif account. she sent it to the love live confessions account for awareness, and guess who approved and posted it? my dear christmas.eli!

my account was full of people telling me how horrible i am, how i deserve to die, etc. people found my private, real life account, commenting there, using my pictures and spreading them (mind you i was 14), telling me how ugly i am, how ugly my art is, even photoshopping me on a pig lmao

i texted christmas.eli and told her it was fake and asked her why she would do this to me instead of talking to me first. she absolutely hated me and told me to block her. my irl best friend (to this das mwuah) even tried explaining it to her but she didn’t want to hear any of it. the bullying got so bad, i deactivated any accounts i had — it was full on cyber bullying. i couldn’t listen or watch anything love live related because it was so traumatizing at the time.

i created new accounts, where one girl even texted me, and after talking to her she trusted me and felt sorry for me, before also turning on me and telling the confessions account my new user. i quickly deleted the account and started anew, without anyone except my irl friends and like 2-3 mutuals.

funny thing though: my new account actually grew quite a bit, and one day, christmas.eli followed me even. nobody knew who i really was because i kept private information at bay and started using an internet name (which, to this day!!, is ria ♡). and… i actually became her friend again, acting like i was someone else lmao.

she was close with two other girls, all three had big accounts, and one day the other two girls posted a screenshot of my account because i said something along the lines of most men only using male sa victims to minimize female sa victim awareness (which is true!). they called me a sexist who doesn’t care about male sa which is just as bad.. girl where did i say that….. anyway, i was only bullied for a day so ig it’s okay!

if you’ve read this far, wow, congrats. if you know me from back then (dagashimanga, honokasmanjuu, gakucchis and now gakuwucchis (you can follow me, but not very active)) let me know! also let me know if you bullied me too, no hard feelings unless you’re one of the three girls. because then i wish you hell on earth!

[bobvelsebobsession]

More gimmicks from the straw page and some where comments/questions! My answers may be a bit… long winded so I apologize in advance!

He’s real in our hearts, and in our imagination.

Funny enough, Herobrine was my first nickname. I’ve had A LOT of others. Some people shorten Herobrine to Hero which is fine!

I’ve also been called MC, which was short for Minecraft, by one friend years ago. I’ve been called Wolf as well by kids in high school because of how I was around people and when I was alone.

I’ve always enjoyed Herobrine as a nickname and fits me well more so than it used to. Although Furby is a funny nickname but not the worst one I’ve heard. I knew a dude called Swamp before and there was a reason for that.

I love Divine CEO, I do love a lot of LuLu’s music. Incredibly underrated and I hope more people discover their music! Shame they’re dealing with some asshats doxxing their fans in VRChat atm…

As for when I started simping for Bob… oh that’s a tough one because it kinda just happened? I watched the short when it came out and was pretty excited for more Spooky Month. Tender Treats ended up being my final consideration for sticking with the series as I liked how Bob became the staple for: Oh shit, this guy is actually dangerous and this is becoming more serious.

I was EXTREMELY disappointed when Bob died because I figured he was gonna be a returning villain and I did recognize him as the demon guy from the original Spooky Month which was very cool! I tend to binge the old episodes before jumping to the new ones. I also rewatch it numerous times during October (SPOOKY MONTH!!!)

I was watching it with my friends and even introducing one friend to it which something kinda just clicked with Bob. When the episode originally came out I was still exploring who I was and what I liked. Turns out I like dangerous people and masked people as well! Plus the voice really drew me in, I have a thing for accents and country men is a bit of a weakness among other things. Plus… big boys need more love. I am a big gal irl, and I love people with fluff and meat on their bones.

So rediscovering my love for Spooky Month helped me realize I liked Bob as my favorite character! I mean, I liked him before and he was already my favorite villain. I decided to look up art and VRChat avatars. Thus falling into the deep rabbit hole of Bob enjoyers. Ngl, little sad he’s so popular because I’m not a fan of extremely popular characters.

Plus most people ship him with themselves or OCs, I tend to be… possessive of things I enjoy which is just a me issue due to abandonment problems. I don’t let it dictate how I treat anyone, of course.

Gotta say though, again, glad he’s loved. Everyone in the fandom is usually rather sweet about him but also bully him. But the art I see of him is amazing and I’m glad to see it. One to two time episodes characters that don’t come back tend to get overlooked. Plus him being plus sized usually makes it worse, but this fandom has been quite the opposite about it.

I mean the guy has four dating sims! Two of which are still in production! But anyways, sorry for the long winded response. Y’all are welcome to ask more questions as I’m an open book!

[grandhotelabyss]

Do you ever feel lonely as a literary man? Or are there other literary men (or women) in your circle?

I'm touched by all your concern for my private life, anons. Am I happy, am I lonely. I'm fine.

(The only time I ever wrote about my personal life online was on Livejournal circa 2004. LJ had a feature where you could limit who saw your posts to a select list of what they called your "friends," now followers or subscribers. So, extracting emotional labor like a typical literary man, I wrote about my travails, whatever they even were back when I was 22 and immortal, to a small list of mostly British literary women. [I was, when I was around his age, sort of a coldhealing type on the internet, if you know what I mean.] They were brilliant Oxbridge students; I would talk to them on Livejournal about Shakespeare and the Brontës and A.S. Byatt and Anne Carson and Tori Amos; Oxbridge women, yes, but also some genius literary-STEM-type hybrid women I think in the Bay Area, polymathic immigrants’ daughters whose models in life were the likes of Athanasius Kircher. I wish I knew these people's real names—I still remember some of their LJ handles—because they were smart and ambitious and some or all of them must have gone on to do great things. They will probably cure cancer by inscribing a poem into the genome. Anyway, one of them—I believe she was from New Zealand—she must have been moved by my travails, whatever those were, and she wrote to me that she wished we lived in the same place so she could cook me dinner and [I will never forget this phrase] "soothe your vast American loneliness." Vast American loneliness! It's true. Everyone in America is lonely. We came here to be lonely together: crabs who actually climbed out of the deep dark bucket of Eurasia. But I digress.)

I've had periods when there were literary people in my circle and periods when there weren't. Right now I've just moved cities and am in the market for a new IRL circle! Literary people welcome, send applications. But I have my literary circle online, and phone-text conversations with friends who were once in IRL literary circles in college or grad school who have since dispersed to the four corners. I don't do the Cormac thing, "Writers are cosmopolitan neurotics, I'm a cowboy and just want to hang out with physicists," but, and ironically given my participation in "anti-institutional rhetoric" that is apparently driving tender souls off of Substack, I don't usually end up hanging out with MFA types but with academic types, philosopher types, people who school and bully me about my ignorance of philosophy and try to explain Lacan to me and the like, even online, even, yes, on Substack, I have drifted into such company. I'll be the dumbest person among the deep and systematic thinkers! It's not a bad place to be.

[styxisms]

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

♥ What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?

❀ What has made you completely lose your chill?

✿ What do you think about public call out posts?

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?

the salty af munday meme / @deathsmaidens

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

Aside from the obvious stuff like being toxic or bigoted, it's usually them just hating on something I like lol.

♥ What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?

Hm. I have had my fair share of awful things. MOST of them happened before I ever came to tumblr. I think the worst was me being bullied as a teenager in the fb rp scene into having such a bad panic attack that I actually fainted lmao. I was in an rp group and they expected me to be available 24/7. They would harass me when I was doing school work or doing anything irl. And I had worked really hard to get into this group and was super socially isolated irl due to being home schooled so it was my first real intro to interacting with other teenagers in a big social media setting like that. they went from saying i was lying about my mental health issues to telling me i needed to be put in a home lmao. it was WILD. in the same community i had a dude pretend to kill himself because he was trying to get with a bunch of girls and these people treated shipping like dating irl. it was legit so yikes. this dude pretended one account was his brother and kept this lie that he ended his own life because these online girls rejected him for a good 6 months. Anyway, once i discovered tumblr i got tf away from that shit for good lol

❀ What has made you completely lose your chill?

I am very very difficult to make lose my chill. The biggest thing is when someone is treating my friends poorly. I have had to see a lot of my closest friends and rp partners get gaslit and manipulated by toxic rp partners and really have to hold myself back from going apeshit on them. I had one specific person that I legit had to BLOCK because i knew I was going to explode on them. and that was sorta recent.

✿ What do you think about public call out posts?

I know why they are needed sometimes. The person that hurt me the worst had one, and i trusted him when he told me it was all bullshit. Big fucking mistake. Granted the callout didn't touch on the specific stuff he apparently does to everyone and focused on other things that were easy for him to lie about. and then after our falling out, he tried to make a callout about me until i posted the screencaps (he edited the ones he posted) and everyone knew he was full of shit. So on one hand, they are important for some things. On another, they are easy to not help for a skilled manipulator. And at the worst point, they can be used to harass someone with half truths and edited screenshots. HOWEVER, I think if someone is truly harmful then it makes sense. I really wish I had the courage to REALLY warn people about some of the toxic people I knew. But I also know that those people are the people that could manipulate their way out of it. So I think they were good for like... pedo shit and all of that. someone being an awful person with receipts. But a lot of it is interpersonal drama. And even if the person IS abusive, they will probably convince their victims that YOU were the bad one. Still, I do think that warning people about abusive people is an okay thing to do. I think that there is a place for it, but more often than not they tend to be petty. There are a few I have seen that have been HUGE AND AWFUL and some of those even didn't seem to stop the person. So who knows. I see the value but they can also be very harmful. I typically keep anything that isn't actually like illegal (or borderline illegal) and racist/lgbt+phobic/ect private and reach out to people one on one solely because... IDK.

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?

I am mostly in xiv and persona right now. xiv is my longest single community on here. I have been around in this rpc since november 2019 so i have seen a lot of ups and downs. mostly ups. but DEF some downs too. As for Persona, it's a lovely little space aside from some cliques.

[smileymoth]

This is Daniel!! He is my pride and joy, and drawing him truly makes me feel really happy ^_^

Under cut is a whole lot of information about him!!!

I originally created him in April 2013, but he was a girl named Kristina back then. I feel like I have to acknowledge the mess that was Kris the Cat before I get onto more relevant information: She was THE scene kid, THE evil girlie who wanted to poison everyone. THE one with dark blue wings and awful lot of make-up even though IRL I couldn't dream of putting make-up on ever (Repressed emo kid with "grr tomboy" mentality). She stayed with me for a whole year until 2014 June when I decided... hmm what if I Genderbend Her since I had seen some artists who I liked genderbend their own ocs. So I did. (That artwork I made is lost in the sauce forever, i think i deleted it off the web and then my dads computer got fucked so its gone permanently.) And that design of him kind of stuck with me more for unknown reasons so I made him my main sona.

Here's the timeline of his designs that I made back in 2020:

The reason why his name is Daniel is mostly due to Danny Murillo and Danny Worsnop, the lead singers of the 2 bands I was extremely in love with at the time. Hence my own name too. At the time I was 12, and because me and my bestie (hi Evan!!!!) were playing toys with our ocs on DeviantArt and wanted to make a band, we came up with 3 extra characters (he made Ethan and Aiden, I made Jack) and Danny became the lead singer of Fallen Soldier (epic cringey band name from cringey teens!!! I even made a failgirl logo for them!!) (The name originates from them probably listening to too much Rise Against and 5FDP)

I haven't changed his backstory too much from since we made it up the first time, since there's really no need to. When I say that my best friend is very intertwined in this world, I mean it. We built the world for these furries together and I will cherish it forever :3

ANYWAY let's get to the character info

***

Name: Daniel Varing, stagename Danny Smileymoth. (when I gave him that last name I was 12 so do not bully me for it literally meaning 'avalanche'. it would be an excellent scene kid name on myspace. danny avalanche. lol)

His friends call him Danny or Dan Dan sometimes.

Birthday: 1. February, (aquarius sun, libra moon, cancer rising) <- this part matches w me too

Gender: non-binary, he/she pronouns. (he doesn't care about gender since he doesn't understand it's importance)

Personality: He's very sweet and kind, and enthusiastic about the things he enjoys. He gets attached to people quickly, that also means he can be quite possessive over them, sometimes feeling unnecessarily jealous when his friends don't pay as much attention to him as he'd like. He understands that this is a personal flaw and doesn't act upon it. His social battery drains real fast when he's out in crowded places, and mostly just enjoys spending time alone or in a small circle of friends. He enjoys art and music greatly. He needs a little bit help sometimes understanding social cues and such. She hates the Sun and tries to stay in the shade as much as possible, it makes her overheat. He likes to purr and knead when he's happy... he sometimes forgets to retract his nails so umm yeah. Meow. He likes people watching. He's normal I promise. (lie). He likes taking care of his friends.. he will make them gifts, buy them clothes or treats. He does have a bit of a short temper but he feels guilty about it, and tries to not lash out over stupid things that have no importance.

I mostly draw Danny wearing feminine clothes that can be related to emo/scene/goth/just alt fashion. Aka a lot of black. He does really like velvet and skirts though!!! Unlike me he does actually wear jeans too. :3 he just doesn't like them to be ripped, is all. He almost always keeps his hair down.

He loves the paisley pattern, velvet, corduroy, leather jackets, lacey skirts and shirts, leather shoes... you get the drill. He also always wears the metal bracelet on his right hand and the 2 necklaces around his neck. (just like meee)

Backstory Factoids:

As of right now he lives in California. He grew up in Estonia. He has been best friends with Jack since early childhood. He met Kratis at a local library where the mans was working. He got introduced to Kratis' friends, Ethan and Aiden. They had been planning on starting a band, and since Danny could sing, they just took him and made him the lead singer. Jack joined the band later on after Danny introduced him to the rest of his new friends.

He found Inbawez (weird freak of a pet) when wandering around a nearby forest, Inba took instant liking to him and never left.

Beside being in a band, he goes babysitting every now and then. He is also a freelance illustrator who does cute art commissions on the web.

The "California" they live in is not a representation of the actual USA Cali since I have never been there and we refuse to change their living location. All we know is that Daniel lives in the middle of the forest in a 2 story house with his boyfriend.

pre-danny lore Kristina lived in a hollow tree with her shadow pet Inbawez. She was obsessed with Kratis and due to forgotten circumstances she and Kratis are blood bound. lol

I think this is about it? I am definitely missing something but I want to post this since IT'S BEEN A MONTH SINCE I FINISHED THIS REF AAHH!!!! my pride and joy. feel free to draw her if you want :3 :3 :3 meow

[to-hope-against-hope]

the pest’s tale (or: how my pro snape friend pulled the rug under me before I ever touched hp)

(this is just a short post describing my experiences w/ my heavily pro snape friend who I talk to irl bc its the funniest shit ever and I look back and still laugh at how absurd it is as a fellow snape fan)

so my introduction to hp is honestly weird because I bet most ppl read the books/watched the movies as they came out. or at least consumed SOME form of hp, but I was one of those rare few who had no idea wtf hp was about and had never touched it like, ever. like I knew who the kid in the glasses and the funky scar was, and I knew voldemort was some “he who shall not be named” villain, but I legitimately didn’t know jack. I also thought for the longest time that hermione was in ravenclaw and ron was in hufflepuff because based on what little I knew abt the series, it was the only thing that made sense

so moving on to the meaty part.

about a few years ago (2020 or so I believe? might be 2021), I was talking to a close friend of mine and she confessed her love of hp to me. really, she loved it, and she loved snape about just as much, if not more. so me, trusting my friend’s  ability to explain things in a non biased manner (which turned out to be nonexistent), I asked her what hp was about and what Snape is all about. the key notes of what she told me are:

- James Potter and the marauders were bullies who tormented Snape day in and day out (true)

- Lily and Snape were childhood friends who were close (also true)

- Lily betrayed Snape by choosing James and “she SHOULDN’T have done that, she’s AWFUL why would you date your best friend’s bully!!” (wait something seems wrong here)

- Harry Potter is a spoilt rotten child of James’ who acts like a brat (hold on a moment huh??)

- Harry Potter constantly gets himself into trouble, acts arrogant, acts like a bully like James and deserves everything coming his way (??????????)

I absolutely believed the WHOLE spiel she gave me (which if I’m being honest could be mistaken for a really bitter Snape’s recounting of events) until I asked my gf (who consumed hp) about it and she was like “wha-- no, no that’s not how it goes wtf” and I was completely SHOCKED at the fact that Harry Potter is not, in fact, a condescending twat of a child who bullies Snape

anyways now we’re here in 2023 and I really really really like snape. life is weird

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

I haven't actually seen the tweets about Emma stans exposing and bullying Evan because I'm not really into Twitter, but can't keep my mouth shut for so long, I want to share my experience when I met Evan and Emma in Malibu. I was with my mom and my cousin dinning in that restaurant in Malibu in spring 2018, I was 18 at that time. So we were sitting when they came in and they were with a friend he was shorter than Evan and he has beard idk him, anyways my cousin was like it's Evan Peters omg, like we were excited and just a quick add he was having a blonde hair I think it was for his his shooting in AHS apocalypse. They were sitting two tables from us , my cousin told me to go and say hi to them, and I waited till they were done with eating I didn't wanted to bother them, so basically Evan's friend was sitting in front of us and Evan was like facing him while Emma was sitting right next to Evan, we went to them and we were like “Hi guys I loved you in Ahs you were amazing, I liked your character in Cult and so on, he laughed and said happy you like it guys, he asked as if we're having fun here and we said yeah , he asked me if we want to take some pictures and we were so exciting, my cousin she was 14 at that time, she told Emma that she liked her as Madison and she literally got a doll looks like Madison, and she was like " Mhmm that's cool, with that cold smile on her face then she rolled her eyes away, as it was we said bye and we were going, once we turned back going to mom, she was like " They're so annoying and was like we love you Evan with that chewbacca noise you feel me ! and the guy with them was making fun of us, she's so rude I saw how was she acting since they entered through the door, Evan was so nice and cute he's really pretty irl, his eyes are so dreamy couldn't look at them. My mom told me that she was giving us death stare when we were talking to Evan lmao, I believe every shit about her being jealous of his fandom, can't stand her really never did.

i know this is anonymous, so it could of course it could be fake, but no negative encounter with emma would be a surprise for me :)