#ANYWAYS I like how I interpret them too. I feel like I really nailed the way I wanted to draw them first try which always makes me happy

[ozcarma]

In light of the TGWDLM remount I’m tempted to make a compilation of my favorite parts of various student and community theater productions that have been uploaded onto YouTube…

[cryptcoop]

im absolutely OBSESSED goign rabid insane over how you draw venture. theyre more venture than the venture in the game. this venture is more canon than canon venture. keep it up. (if you want. draw whatever you want lol i'm not in charge of you) great job. 10/10

Thank you ! I was not expecting to like them so much but I drew them for one jokey drawing and suddenly became obsessed.

[swarmishstrangers]

Could you provide your Folly/Reader headcanons for me? You deadass have one of my favorite interpretations of her design, I am very interested in your ideas.

EHEHHE TY!! Also, for anyone reading wanting to submit an ask, I wanted to ask for y'all to be specific when asking for any scenarios or headcanons. It makes it easier for me to nail down how to go about writing them (not directed towards you anon! This goes for everyone moving forward lol). Also also, keep in mind if like to write Folly as close as I can to canon and that maaaay mean she's not the nicest to put it lightly. Gulps. Anyways!! Let me get to your headcanons now that I've said my piece!

𖧧 Patience. So so SO much patience is required in order to get anywhere with her. To give you an inkling into her very being. It'll be hard sometimes. She's known for being heavily distrustful. Through darting eyes, she thinks letting her guard down will leave her open to be hurt again, heart surrounded by spikes, emotions buried deep into the darkest crevices of her mind to leave to no one but herself to know. She pushes people away that she feels might be getting too close for comfort, lashes out when she feels too vulnerable, words drip with venom to hurt so that you hate her. Everyone does, it's easier to be hated than to feel loved again.

𖧧 The patience will pay off. It shows in little ways..maybe in the nightmares she shows up in, it won't really be one- well. Not specifically of your own. She writes poems..so suprising to you until she shoved it in your faced and forced you to read them, she won't let you wake until otherwise. The poems are often dark in nature. Folly loves her tragedies, twists and turns, bleakness. You find when you read these the things within the poems, what were symbolisms or events happening becoming real and visual in your nightmares. It's all so visceral, frightening, and yet you're made to keep reading. As terror settles deep in your very tissues..she's a good writer.

𖧧 Back before she became the abomination of a mistake she feels she is. She dreamed of things like friendship...maybe even love. She wished once upon a time that she felt connected to someone. Truth be told..she was lonely back then. Now as Folly, she pushes these old dreams and desires *far* into the rushing water to drown them, to not hear of them again, how could she ever want those things when someone else could inflict such harm on her again? No..she saw these things as a weakness. A weakness she hates is rearing it's ugly head from the watery grave when you both do get close.

𖧧 She hates it. She hates you for making her feel so low, for making her feel weak when you ask for such benign things..kiss her hand? Ask her to lean down lower so you could press your forehead to hers? Brush stray hair from her shoulder? It's....stupid.

𖧧 PDA is a super big no for her. She doesn't like getting lovey dovey in front of anyone in the elevator. She likes keeping the very few and rare relationships that are "nice" to herself, to her and her alone. Most she'll allow is for you to reach up and hold one of her large fingers that fit in your hand.

𖧧 Speaking of touch, she feels strange. It'll be kind of normal at first. She lacks body warmth, but other than that it's nothing crazy..only if you touch her for extended periods of time is when you start to feel strange. Firstly, canonically, bloody noses tend to happen if your near her for too long. Secondly, being in physical contact for a long period of time leaves your skin feeling..buzzed? Is a way to describe it? Weird and crackly, almost like electricity under your skin and it's not pleasant..but it's not super bad either. Just a weird sensation. When you pull away that's when it kindaaa borders on hurting? Stinging I'll put it. Like ants under your skin, makes you feel itchy.

𖧧 She can't kiss. No duh statement, she doesn't have a mouth. Sure, you could kiss where her mouth *would* be but..and she'll never ever tell you, but she really likes when you bump or rest your head against her own. It feels more intimate as it's something she can actually reciprocate. Intimacy makes her feel weird and she can be kind of finicky and awkward with it. Kinda funny watching someone who can instill terrors and feeds off of negative energy look so lost and unsure of what to do in terms of anything having to do with romance.

[unhappy-sometimes]

a 2024 writing retrospective (for sxf fanfic)

ignore the fact that i’m a few days late. i’ve been unbelievably busy the past couple weeks.

in this post i’ll go over the fics i wrote in 2024 think of it as an extremely extended author’s notes. i love to talk and will do so when given the chance.

i’ll start from my latest fic and work my way backwards. spoilers for everything i’ve written in 2024.

(Very) Stupid

Something that I try really really hard to maintain in my writing is believability, specifically when it comes to writing characters. Characters acting out of character is one of my biggest fanfic pet peeves: if I wanted to read about someone’s oc, then I would’ve read a regular book. That being said, I think a lot about how Twilight would actually act like if he were in love. I had an interesting conversation with @cantareincminor forever ago about how he’s so emotionally constipated that it’s kind of difficult to write Twilight in love without making him a bit ooc. Right now in canon it’s hard to imagine him falling head over heels for anyone (in my opinion, anyway).

That being said there are moments in canon where he acts flustered in situations that could be interpreted as romantic. So, for right now, my hypothesis is this: if and when Twilight falls in love, he’s going to be an absolute fool. He’s going to do his usual overthinking and overanalyizing, so much to the point that he starts hesitating over the smallest things.

(Very) Stupid is how I imagine all of that unfolding, although for the sake of comedy I did push things to the absurd. Sometimes Twilight does things in canon with such certainty of “Yes, of course normal people do this, I’m nailing this normalcy thing” that he fails to realize he’s being kinda ridiculous. I also wanted to take that element and incorporate it into a fic.

I also wanted to try subverting expectations (ooh fancy literary term) by having them do romantic things that lead them nowhere. I tried to cram in as many tropes as I could��feeding each other with a fork, only one bed, first kiss—but do so under the guise of Twilight completely missing how dumb he’s being the entire time. He only realizes his feelings until after their first kiss, specifically when Yor surprises him with a quick peck on the cheek. This, of course, was deliberate. I figured that it’d make the most sense if Twilight would only realize his feelings in a situation where he wasn’t the one initiating a (somewhat) romantic gesture because he theoretically wouldn’t be overthinking it. Instead, Yor just sneaks in when his guard is down <3

Endings are usually the hardest things for me to write and (Very) Stupid was no exception. I almost had Twilight pass out at the breakfast table when he kisses Yor but then I realized I’d made him faint in almost every fic I’ve written this year and that felt like a cop out. But I figured it out and I don’t mind the way the ending turned out :D

Also, kind of a random reference, but the title is slightly inspired by VERY NICE by Seventeen lol

Holy crap I’ve written so much for only one fic so far. My apologies in advance.

21 Eden Street

I won’t go into too much detail for 21 Eden Street because it’s still ongoing, but I just wanna brag about how fun it is to write hehe. It’s really enjoyable to write pure crack and come up with stupid and insane ideas with Cantare. You don’t need to have seen either iteration of 21 Jump Street to understand what’s going on. Honestly, we’ve taken very little from the source material and treated it more like a loose guide and a basis for brainstorming.

Don’t worry, we haven’t abandoned it! Cantare is waiting on me to finish writing my chapter (hehe sorry, Cantare!) and soon it’ll be back up and running.

Seeing things

Ah, Seeing Things, my beloved <3

This fic has the least amount of hits out of everything I’ve written (which is not surprising to me) but I hold it very dear to my heart. There’s not a specific reason why other than I just really enjoyed writing it. I also spent a ton of time making supplementary drawings and a whole hype campaign for it, too, so I kinda am obligated to feel some sorta way about it.

Anyway, the way this fic came about is simple; I just had the things I am most afraid of happen to Twilight. Yes, I’m scared of serial killers and my loved ones dying like everyone else, but something I am absolutely terrified of are hallucinations. That and doppelgangers.

Not being able to tell reality apart from fiction activates the flight or fight senses in me. Real life can be scary, yes, but reality is bound by the rules of reality. Literally anything can happen in fiction. The most horrific, awful things are possible in fiction and if those things suddenly become possible in reality???? Girl I am GONE. Passing away. Curling up in a fetal position in the nearest corner. I don’t know if that makes any sense. If I ever start seeing things that I can’t be sure are actually happening or not, I am choosing to die right then and there. Doppelgangers as a concept are also really scary to me. It’s like stranger danger but times a thousand because you can’t tell who the strangers are anymore.

In my initial draft, there wasn’t nearly as much of a tension between Twilight and Yor. If I recall correctly, by then I’d written to nearly the end and realized that for Yor this whole experience has been Loid acting just a little more weird than usual. It might’ve been Cantare’s suggestion (just assume everything after Guy’s Night has been beta’d by Cantare and you’ll be mostly right) but I realized that Twilight probably would start to suspect the people around him were screwing with him. I added the scene where his room was messed up and it all fell into place hehe.

I don’t like writing gore or the like because I feel like typical gore quickly starts escalating into levels of pain that the average reader has no possibility of comprehending and it loses its efficacy. Instead I tried feeding into Twilight’s paranoia, adding things that in isolation are just weird but when put together are unsettling. I shamelessly stole the fourth room hallway from Impossible Landscapes, a Delta Green campaign that I highly recommend you check out if you enjoy surreal horror. I purposefully kept some things vague, like the things Anya sees in Twilight’s mind, the way Handler’s face gets warped, or the description of “the watchers” because I felt like going into detail would lose the unknown-ness of it all. That and I’m lazy heehee.

In some way, canon Spy x Family does deal with ideas of doppelgangers and paranoia. Spies are constantly afraid of being listened in on, they don’t know if they can trust anyone, and they always have to keep an eye over their shoulder. For someone who is always a little scared of being spied on (I cover my phone and laptop cameras for that exact reason), that kinda sounds like torture. Seeing Things was a fun way to crank that paranoia up to a hundred. It was especially fun writing the museum scene because I tried thinking of things that are just ever so slightly off, things that theoretically could exist but clearly don’t.

I also threw in other things I’m scared of, like being watched, being followed, the dark, and the bathroom at night just to be extra mean to Twilight <3

Anyway, I’m rambling and this analysis post will be a novel if I keep this up.

Guy’s Night

I do recognize the insane tone shift going from Seeing Things to Guy’s Night.

What is there to even say about Guy’s Night? I got the idea from Psych (the Last Night Gus episode) who got the general basic from the Hangover movies. I wrote it all out in a few days, one of which I was sick in bed. I don’t know what to say.

Looking back on it, I don’t love the way it turned out. I’m glad I wrote it but where I usually don’t mind rereading my stuff for fun I do kinda cringe at Guy’s Night. It relies on a lot of contrivances which I tried masking with humor but it’s still a bit obvious. If you make a timeline of the previous night’s events, it only kinda makes sense.

It doesn’t help that I went into it with no plan whatsoever. I just sat down and said what happens happens. When I wrote in chapter one that something had happened between Loid and Yor, I didn’t know what that was. When I wrote Loid saying “we need to see what’s on that camera film” I was right there next to him saying “buddy, so do I because I have no idea.” When wrote Franky saying that his friend Marko might have answers, I was hoping he would too because I, like everyone else, didn’t know what was going on either.

The ONE thing I DID know was that Twilight got a tattoo the night before. That was it. That’s all.

I don’t typically plan out everything when I write but I usually have a good idea. For Guy’s Night, I had a bad idea in that I had no idea. It kinda shows. Sorry.

That being said, it was incredibly fun writing their drunk shenanigans and banter. The dynamic between Twilight, Franky, and Yuri was so goofy that I’ve seriously debated writing a sequel of sorts. However that’s incredibly unlikely. If I ever do write a sequel, it’d be a Girl’s Night with Yor and a combination of female characters, probably Sylvia and Fiona.

After Peace (and Glimpses of Happiness)

A quick heads up: I don’t go into detail but I do discuss mental illness in this segment.

I am incredibly proud of how After Peace turned out. Not only did it receive a really good reception for being my first fic ever, but it also helped me work through some things in my own life. It’s important to give some context.

I wrote After Peace shortly after graduating college. I won’t go into specifics, but college was really, really difficult for me. I had been so excited for this next step in my life after graduating high school but instead it turned out to be one of the hardest experiences of my life. Depression came out of nowhere and stomped me into the ground.

I used to have very high expectations for myself; I had a clear vision of what I wanted to do with my life and I was taking steps to work towards those goals. Then my mental health tanked and suddenly everything just felt so difficult and pointless. I’d sleep all day and then hate myself when the sun started to set because that meant I’d wasted an entire day doing nothing when I was supposed to be working towards something. But I just couldn’t do it anymore.

That’s something I’ve noticed that a lot of media gets wrong about depression sometimes. It doesn’t always make you feel sad. Sometimes it just sucks everything out of you—sadness, happiness, anger, everything. I stopped drawing, stopped listening to music, stopped eating, stopped exercising, stopped doing everything that I enjoyed because it felt like the equivalent of doing the dishes. Everything was a chore, even the things that I liked.

What really changed things around was when my poor roommate, who was sick of me sleeping for twenty hours a day, dragged my sorry self to the free counseling services on campus. It’s doesn’t fix everything, but having someone who cares about you and you care about can really help your mental health.

Anyway, let’s not forget I’m talking about an anime fanfiction here haha.

After Peace really did start out as a couple of doodles but as I started to write it, I noticed that there were a lot of similarities between myself and Loid. No, I am not a former spy turned grumpy hermit, but I did once have great aspirations and now have to settle for what reality offers me. Realizing that worth comes from simply existing was something that I had to understand in order to begin my recovery process.

I’ve always found it kind of sad that if you took away the goal of world peace from Twilight that you’re basically left with nothing. He doesn’t really have hobbies, no real friends, and he never takes a day off. That’s hardly sustainable. Would he really be happy when there’s nothing left to do? I’d like to think so, but I wanted to see what would happen if he wasn’t.

I mentioned this in the end note, but After Peace was also influenced by this comic I was working on years ago that had the similar premise of “grumpy man learns to enjoy life with the help of a young girl” (very original, I know). I doubt that I’ll ever release that comic in the capacity I once intended, but it does live on in my secret second tumblr account of you ever manage to find it.

Anyway, I was worried about writing After Piece because Anya plays a big role and I am Not Good at writing children. It was hard striking a balance between making Anya likeable but still realistic. I don’t interact with children often and, as a youngest sibling, I don’t have much experience with them. Anya has so many layers—being a test subject, being a telepath, being a child—that it was hard managing them all. But I’m okay with how she turned out.

There is a slight problem in that she basically disappears once Yor shows up D:

I debated having Yor in the fic at all but then I realized that without her the emotional climax would have to rely on a four year old’s emotional intelligence and then decided right then and there that Yor had to be in it haha.

Yor’s whole deal with accidentally killing the wrong person was kind of a last minute addition. I do wish I was able to explore that more, but I also feel like she’s emotionally mature enough to forgive herself more quickly than Twilight would. She ends up serving a bit of a role model to him. It was also nice to be able to write them interacting with the truth out on the table and for them to be honest with each other.

Pacing was something that I was very concerned with. Looking back on it now, I’m still worried that things move along a bit quickly. However, I am reminded of some advice my graphic design professors gave me: “Good design is when nothing more can be take away.” And, because I was writing this as fast as possible, you best believe I was taking things away if I didn’t need them. I didn’t want to fall into the trap of dwelling on Twilight’s thoughts for too long so I instead opted for showing him progressing through experiences instead. I think it worked out.

However because I took so many things out I decided to start Glimpses of Happiness, a supplementary fic to After Peace that fills in the cracks, so to speak. I wanted to have more moments between Twilight and the other characters, like stargazing with Anya and growing close to Yor. Right now there’s only one chapter, but I have plans for at least a few more. I also thought it was important to highlight that mental health recovery never truly ends. Just because Yor and Twilight had a nice chat on the roof doesn’t mean that things are suddenly okay. It’s a long process that sometimes never ends and I wanted to show that.

Of course, I can’t talk about After Peace without addressing the Midwest allegations. As I said, yes, this fic was inspired by my childhood in the American Midwest, even though I was nowhere near any mountains. The Midwest is a silly place full of nothing to do but go to your local Walmart for fun, but I think it served a good enough setting for Twilight to chill out and slow down. If I really wanted to do full Midwest, I’d have Twilight watch a tornado touch down on a cornfield from his truckbed, but that feels sort of out of place.

I feel like there’s more to say but I can’t think of anything and I doubt anyone’s actually gonna read all the way down here anyway. But yeah, that’s After Peace.

Oh, and the A.M. AM by Damien Jurado Youtube video currently has nine comments that mentjon falling from a five story building, which I think is really funny.

So now what?

Against my better judgement, I’m still writing. I have a couple projects in the works, especially one big big big one that hopefully I can start publishing soon. Keep an eye out for that.

In the meantime, thanks for a great year! I hope 2025 holds more great things in store for us all!

-unso ^. .^<

[theclownghoul]

Gratuitous

Opinion piece & analysis

I really hate how Jinx’s suicidality is portrayed in S2, largely in Act lll but we’ll talk about all of it.

In S1 we have about three moments (by my count) that show Jinx harming herself or trying to end her life. Hitting herself in episode 3, being careless with the staples in episode 7 and pulling the pin on the bridge also in episode 7. There is also a line she says to Vi “You’re the reason I’m still alive” in episode 9 which given other things she says in that moment could be interpreted as other ideations.

What makes these moments different from S2 episode 9? Well none of the three main writers were credited to those episodes other than the dialogue in S1 episode 9. Most of them are communicated through animation only. They also just feel different, they’re vulnerable, other things are the focus and her doing these things is just a reaction to those feelings. There was something to get from the scene besides a showcase of her pain.

Episode 9 of S2 is not that. It’s gratuitous, it’s a spectacle, it’s gory and somehow losing all its impact. There’s the music which is not what I’d call tasteful or subtle. It’s making an impression, wants to force a feeling or reaction. Make you sad or horrified and oh, I was horrified but not the way they wanted.

Even the way she digs her nails into her cuticles in S2 episode 8 isn’t really meant to show us anything about her. It’s meant to affect the audience.

In comparison I almost appreciate how people have read her pulling the pin in S1 episode 7 as trying to manipulate or take Ekko out too instead of being a completely clear cut attempt. Because it at least shows that there is enough going on with the character’s mindset that we can speculate on her motivations and how she’s reacting to all the emotions that came from fighting her old friend. If you look at her face it’s sadness and regret (S1 is also better at story through facial expressions since there was forethought). You’re free to have your own reaction, not the one that’s set out for you.

I have mixed feelings about her fight with Vi now and telling Vi that she’s okay to go out by her hand. It feels closer to the moments in S1 than later in episode 9. There’s more going on, we’re meant to consider multiple layers of both her and Vi’s feelings in the moment. It’s a non explicit parallel to the Bridge and does show a pattern of behaviour. It’s also not credited to any of the main writers.

The scene from the opening of episode 9 as a whole, is it romanticization? Heard differing opinions on this and I honestly don’t know where I stand. One one hand it shows how empty she feels and how everything has come crashing down despite trying and it communicates her emotions through the images and music. On the other the scene is meant to be visually appealing while also showing her detonating the bomb very explicitly, like you see her blood. I’m sorry but this is some 13 reasons shit. None of this is helped by the fact that Isha was killed purposely to get her in this state.

I had way more emotions about the actual story in the scene with Ekko in S1 and the scene with Vi in episode 3. Originally I liked this scene but I just can’t really remember why exactly, especially when compared to the earlier ones. The other scenes aren’t lacking in any way when it comes to showing her despair so I’m lead to believe it’s a stylistic choice in line with S2’s music video focus.

Then there’s Ekko… what did he do to deserve this? I’ve said before that if he had to he would save her but the reason he had to was because this scene sounded like a good idea. Saw someone say why is it his responsibility to save her and yeah why? He’s her romantic interest? Not from her perspective at this point and that’s a terrible reason anyway. Not only are we shown her blowing herself up in detail, being inflicted with it but he also has to see that, multiple times. Please don’t make me think too long about it… then we don’t see what actually changes her mind and actually see their bond. That also doesn’t give me a lot of faith is what they think is important to show.

Then she sacrifices herself at the end to “break the cycle” which no one is actually clear on what is meant by that and the same damn song is playing. It’s weird.

I’d like to compare it to the Poison sequence from Hazbin Hotel since that scene faced backlash for romanticizing abuse specifically in that scene. If I can describe what makes Poison not exploitative and what makes Wasteland so then I can safely say they are different and there is something deeply sinister about Jinx’s scene.

Poison benefits internally, inside the context of the story from being visually appealing and pretty. That tells part of the story in and of itself and eventually it cracks, mirroring how Angel feels in the scene and in his situation.

Wasteland benefits externally, it’s done for the audience as I’ve been saying. There is nothing about Jinx’s mindset or actions that we get a better insight into from the stylistic choices. We know “she loves a spectacle” but that’s the only internal explanation that I could make. Even if they wanted the cutting of her hair and the burning on the last drop but the framing could have easily been different.

Think about the staple scene for contrast, it has no interest in being something other than what it is, brutal and disorienting, just as she is feeling in that moment. Jinx would behave that way whether there were “eyes” on her or not. Poison is the same, Angel “performs” to keep his thoughts at bay regardless of an audience. Wasteland only exists in its current form to entertain.

The final “sacrifice” also falls into this, solely focusing on eliciting a reaction from the audience and making a spectacle of sadness. There is no resolution to Jinx’s earlier conversation with Ekko, we don’t see her reflect, we don’t see a change. We have no reason to believe she’s in any way in a better place. Her decision to give her life for Vi’s isn’t particularly fleshed out and this as a conclusion to her arc is bizarre at best and offensive at worst, suggesting she had to remove herself from her loved ones lives, something she simultaneously feared and was tempted by.

I probably shouldn’t feel the need to make such a caveat but I am aware that the could be a matter of preference when it comes to how scenes like this are portrayed but the way this scene was done continues to strike me as odd. I can’t help but think it maybe intentionally or unintentionally is playing into the “sacrifice” message where, it may be a sad thing but Jinx had to die. And that’s a horrible thing to say.

[reaminaart]

i LOVE LOVE LOVEEE YOUR JEFF AND JANE DESIGNS OMG!! what inspired them? :0

Thank you so muchh! //0v0//

I focus on them a lot because they have been my favorite characters for years now, so I tweak their design a lot, don't be surprised if some details change.

Jeff

A lot of inspo for my Jeff comes from Bleedingheartworks, specifically their older art of Jeff. Generally how they showed his personality and attitude through his design and gestures.

Other inspo comes from character like Frank-N-Furter and Mark Renton from Trainspotting. Esp. for his face I love giving him hard edges, angry big eyes, a bit of a resting bitch face that just looks confusing with his cut smile.

I actually had a hard time drawing him, until I just accepted that he doesn't have to look too human or realistic. The scars on his face allow me to kind of morph his face and make his expressions more extreme. I always try to show how ruthless and careless he is just through his looks, so longer nails, bruises, bleeding, and especially heavy scars are a must.

I understand realistically he'd be bald but I can't bring myself to do it, hair just brings the whole design together. His hair is straight and sharp, but it's pretty thick so it just looks like a mane when washed. Fun fact, I imagine his younger self always had a buzz cut.

I made his eyes able to almost close, bcs I like him being more expressive. His lower eyelids are not burnt but cut, you can see the scarring under them. So he can still kind of close his eyes but you would see some of his eye peeking out. I've not shown this in my art yet, but I like to think when he goes bonkers his pupils dilate instead of shrink.

Jane

idk where to even start, her look is constantly evolving in my mind, I literally want to put all ideas into one design but it's impossible. There's not specific inspo I have, I kind of lego built her from all interpretations I liked and art pieces over the years.

She's huge and strong I'll tell you that, it stunned Jeff a bit the first time he saw her. Wears heels to be even more intimidating, she stands at 190cm without them.

Her face is completely covered in scars and cuts, the burns go all the way from the head to the thighs, but they're more visible on the back. I'm gonna give a little spoiler to future art, but I feel like in at least one universe she would cover all of them with tattoos because she can't deal with the memories. Her eyes look completely black, but only her irises, the sclera is dark red and a bit blood shot. You can only see it when you get close.

Also she wears wigs, so I switch her hairstyle occasionally.

I try to make her as elegant as possible, but also threatening. (She's actually really sweet to the average person, but always looks annoyed. I love her, she is kind of selfish and crazy tho.) Anyways, her style, Gisele Bündchen for Alexander McQueen 1998 is the vibe she carries around.

My goal for future art is to try and make her mask/makeup more alien like.

Some outfit changes are on my to do list as well. I think they'd both rock the runway.

Thank you for asking ♡

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 3.2

The thing is Paul just physically can't say what he feels. It's just an impossibility for him. So if he says reading a negative article about himself “doesn't help” or “it's not good” but it “doesn't get home” I just assume he means ‘It hurts, but I can't think about that too hard or I'll go into a self-hate suicidal spiral again’. 

I always love how Paul says Linda. “Linder is er, nature mad.” 

She!!

Hearing Paul talk about watching Mary be born makes me wonder if John was there with Sean? Also I wonder if Linda would talk about the experience so glowingly. Probably. She's tough as nails. I had a lovely experience, personally, after the epidural lol

“Dear friend . . . I'm in love with a friend of mine.” This is such a strange and beautiful song. It's a man who has to apologize to his friend for falling in love with someone else. At least, that's my interpretation. What's everyone else's?

I understand why he's so closed off. I do. But when John is going off every five seconds, we're missing half the picture here and it's turning out warped. They really are such a good study of attachment honestly.

“Nothing will ever break the love we have for each other.” White-knuckling my way through this section with this quote clenched in my fist.

Yoko, talking about John fighting with Paul: any couple will go from swearing to kissing and it's like that. What favors are you doing yourself here, babe? Maybe John's the PR mastermind between the two of them.

I find John's comparison of working with his romantic partner to being ambidextrous very confusing. Does he mean just doing two things at once?

“If I can't have a fight with my best friend, I don't know who I can have a fight with.” -- Intro slutty gender-fluid Wings Paul my beloved -- “Tell me why, why, why do you treat me so bad? So bad? When you're the best friend a man ever had?” I heard on some podcast somewhere. Someone was going on about how forward-thinking the Beatles were to refer to the women in their songs as “friends”. And I was like, nununununu do not give them that credit.

This is just soooo. In this era? 90 minutes in the middle of a recording session?

John: Sorry, my estranged fiance is calling, gotta take a break. Guitarist: again? Drummer: how estranged can they be if they call every three minutes? Yoko: should we just record the other parts or . . . John: (receiver cradled to his cheek, lovesick grin on his face) Hey, how was Heather's school program? Haha, yeah, I bet she was.

Okay, so you've made up with Paul and now you're done being homophobic? *Cardi b voice* well that's suspicious. 

The fact that John's asking Paul to play on stage with him in 1972?? Ugh! If it was just about legalities and money and shit I would be genuinely so pissed at Paul for not going. If only because Come Together sounds incredibly lame without his bass and piano. But also for the obvious fix-it reasons. I have to remind myself of how truly awful Klein was. By being the only one to stand firm against him, Paul actually ended up saving them all from a lot of trouble. But gosh would this have been good!

Things normal people say, for sure, for sure.

Okay in my head it went like this. John calls George and bitches about what an egomaniac Paul is because he won't do anything with him as long as Klein is involved. George gets off the phone and calls Ringo and they make a bet as to how long it is until John decides they should get rid of Klein. 

“Where's your audience, Paul?” “In the theater, Dave.” As he should. The cuntiness is unparalleled. Yeah, maybe people like to see a family friendly eclectic magic pixie sexy hard rock floor show? Ever thought about that, Dave?

Anyway, he seems genuinely pissed when the interviewer even mentions the other Beatles and he refuses to even admit he still talks to any of them. Why? 

John's just so benevolent and selfless. He's completely straight, of course, but he's always offering to do gay shit. You know. To be nice. 

I forget that not only was May their literal employee, but she was ten years younger on top of that. And yet, she managed to do so much good in that relationship. I have so much respect for her. 

There's obviously a lot going on behind the scenes that they don't say in interviews. Duh. But I wonder what it is that caused Paul to be so open and happy in this interview where he's asked about the other Beatles compared to before. I wonder if he and John had a really lovely talk, or if he's heard a demo of “I know, I know.” Or maybe it's just he's so reassured that they've got rid of Klein that he feels safe acting open to a reunion on record. Who knows, Yoko. 

So so smart to pair “In My Life” handwritten lyrics with the matching lyrics of “I know I know” playing at the same time. I forget about that connection (“I love you more”) because it's so overshadowed by the “than yesterday” right after. I seriously wonder if John thought he was being so obvious with this one the way he was with HDYS and half hoped people would ask him if it was about Paul and he could make up for the whole thing. Because it's just so heavy-handed. It's beautiful. I love it. I'm sure Paul loved it. But yeah. John's just beating us over the head with the references here. 

I also wonder (very tentatively!!!) if Paul was maybe a bit more emotionally vulnerable with John than we usually think. I would never think this except for the “you know I nearly broke down and cried” “I'm sorry that I made you cry” and “no more crying!” I don't know. What do we think? 

His little baby smirk. It's so silly and cute. He's being very positive about getting back together, and the interviewer asks if John would initiate that. Just a very coy, “a, well, I couldn't say.” I wonder if at that point if he'd said on live tv that he wanted to get together again if it would've happened. Seems like it might have, but I understand him being scared. 

Elton John taking pictures like a fan and John: I wanna impound all those photos till I get me green card. What a random idea for a commercial. I love it, obviously, it's hilarious. I wonder who thought of it. 

This doc is so good at implication. The smirk as “loving in the palm of my hand” plays. That's not a reference to hand jobs, is it? Certainly not talking to someone with beautiful hands?

Everyone go look up Nineteen Hundred Eighty Five on YouTube. The singing sex is something else, yeah, but I'm always so blown away by the piano part. The fact that he's self taught and doesn't read music and this man will go on to compose symphonies. 

[alsfunkyalbum]

I redrew some of my old Undertale sancest Ship Children from sometime between 2018-2021

(Click Image for better quality)

!! IGNORE THE FACT THAT IT SAYS SUGAR I MEANT TO PUT CANDY !!

If you don't ship these, that's cool neither do I. If you do ship these, that's also cool, here's some kids to add to your day. When I made these a while back I basically just put a bunch of Sanses' names into a cup and pulled out two names, just to make ship kids for. However I really love them so much I wanted to give them another try at being my OC's. So here they are with much better designs and decent personalities. Hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

--

Old designs and Extra fun facts/info about them located below!

Old Designs (in order from right to left in the above picture):

--

They don't have much backstory or reason as to why they are alive, so if you'd like just make up how they were born. Sexualities can also be up to your interpretation, cuz I feel too lazy to give them any.

Anyways onto some fun facts (not at all sorted by the way).

Tricks has two separate ways to write his name because his name was never ever officially written down by his parents, so he fluctuates between both

Despite Fresh's dislike for curse words Ivy has the vocabulary of a sailor. He takes pride in his salty mouth

Vero is sometimes nicknamed Vamp/Vampire, not only because of his snaggle tooth but also because he dresses in dark, fancy clothing

Fable looks up to Dream and wishes to be like him someday

Contrary to Fable, Trix absolutely despises Dream for never being around when she was younger. However Trix loves his little sister and would never put her admiration against her.

Despite not at all being blood related the entire group considers each other cousins (minus the ones who are ACTUALLY "blood" related)

Ivy has a horrid fashion sense. While he doesn't understand how to make things match he does know he loves layering his clothing

Vero refers to the markings on his face as " Face Bananas"

Vero is selective mute

Tricks, despite being a skeleton, enjoys makeup and would practice either on Vero, or Fable (Ivy's always too shy to ask)

Fable likes to play pretend and play with dolls (like any kid should)

Vero enjoys crocheting

Error has a slight hatred for Ivy (Ivy and Vero don't care so much)

The majority of Ivy's closet is all clothes that he stole from his parents. It's often way too big for him to wear but that never stops him.

Trix's favorite colors are Pink and Yellow (if that wasn't obvious enough)

Ivy is a huge trouble maker and loves dragging Vero along with the trouble

Trix wears acrylic fake nails

If they were asked to choose a favorite parent the list would be: Vero-Error since he is kindest to him, and spoils him a little | Ivy-Killer since he lets him get away with most trouble making | Tricks- Lust because at least he acknowledged his existence | Fable-Dream since he was the coolest hero ever

Trix dislikes curse words, so she tries to keep Ivy's mouth clean as much as possible (especially around Fable)

Vero and Ivy adore Fable, so much so that they'd bend at her will if need be. They'd do so much for her.

And I guess that's it for now. If you have any questions about them, shoot me an ask or DM, I may or may not have an answer.

[sanasanakun]

I think my favorite part of the dlc’s final boss is how it (can) directly mirror your Tarnished, and by extension, their relationship with Ranni. Obviously, this is coming from me, your resident Ranni glazer who will make everything about her if I can, so please understand this is my interpretation. 

My interpretation is that Miquella/Radahn act as a foil to Ranni/Tarnished, specifically when it comes to the themes of love, consent, and freewill. Now, I know it’s up in the air about how consenual the pact between Radahn and Miquella is. Personally, I see it as non-consensual; Miquella resurrected and controls a puppet of Radahn and/or bewitched him to be his “promised consort.” Given the theme of control with Miquella, I don’t think FromSoft would turn that around on us at the last second. Radahn’s situation is meant to be the final nail in the coffin; a demonstration of what Miquella’s “love” exactly means. Total control over one’s entire self and mind. Anyway, I digress, let’s get into how I see their situation mirroring, and acting as the antithesis, to Ranni and Tarnished. 

First, we’ll examine Miquella and Radahn. Miquella is presented almost throughout the entire game as a beloved figure. He is literally called “Miquella the Kind,” and his actions at the Haligtree paint him as an even more heroic figure. A demi-god who wants to help the weak, the oppressed, and anyone in between who has been scorned by the Golden Order. As we discover in the DLC, Miquella wants to create an “Age of Compassion.” But there’s always a catch, and Miquella’s plan is no exception. Why? Because his new age would remove the free will of everyone by giving him total control of how they feel, act, etc. He’ll make them happy and at peace because they’ll have no choice; they’ll have no self. This is exemplified in literal form with Radahn. The relationship between the two brothers presents itself as a one-sided obsession on Miquella’s part. Though we don't know a ton about them together, I think it’s safe to theorize Radahn didn’t willingly go along with Miquella’s plan. Radahn is canonically a fan of the Golden Order given his admiration of Godfrey and his father, Radagon. I can’t see him wanting to disrupt the current way of things. Plus, I don’t believe Maleania and Radahn would stage a fake war just to get Radahn into a position where he could be resurrected via Mohg. Too many hoops to jump through, so Occam’s Razor says Radahn rejected Miquella. 

Now that’s great and all, but the real meat I want to analyze comes from the actual boss fight, or more specifically, the twos’ body language during the fight. Radahn is an empty shell. He doesn’t have any dialouge aside from small grunts. He doesn’t address us at all, which is entirely unlikely for how he’s been described. He’s a ferocious warlord who values the strength of both his allies and enemies. At the very least, he would address someone as prolific and talented as the PC Tarnished. Yet, he doesn’t. Radahn is literally there to act as “the muscle;” he is the strong and powerful lord that Miquella admired him to be. However, by making Radahn only act like this, Miquella has erased the true essence of what made Radahn. He lacks his soul. Miquella might be the more interesting of the two when it comes to body language. I think Miquella’s theme of control really shines with how he places himself on Radahn during the battle. He is literally draped over Radahn with his arms wrapped around his neck. Obviously, at first glance this is meant to imitate an embrace, solidifying the two as both a team and lovers. Yet, Miquella’s position doubles in meaning when considering his need to control. The arms could represent a collar, with Miquella acting as the leash. His hovering gives off a “helicopter” vibe (for a lack of a better term). While playing I called him a “helicopter parent,” comparing him to where they are constantly looking over your shoulder and trying to direct you. Essentially, Miquella is caging Radahn in his embrace, revealing his need to control the situation and Radahn himself. Miquella is the personification of control; he won’t allow free will to happen because he thinks it causes too much pain and uncertainties. And Radahn, he embodies the fate of those who would live under the Age of Compassion; he is a puppet. Specifically, he is Miquella’s puppet in both battle and love. He doesn’t have a choice in the matter at all. 

So, how is this the antithesis to our beloved blue wife and the Tarnished? Ranni doesn’t appear to help the Tarnished during their fight with the duo, which I’ve seen a few complain about. While I would love to fight alongside my support princess (and I have downloaded the mod lol), I think Ranni appearing would undermine the character FromSoft has established and her relationship with the Tarnished. Ranni is very hands off. She gives her vassals the tools to work with and then tells them to do what they wish with it. She never forces you to do anything you don’t want to. When you confront her about her role in the death of Godwyn, she willingly admits it and then asks you if you’d like to pledge service to her. She doesn’t say, “You know my secrets, therefore you will be in my service so I can keep an eye on you.” Instead, it’s a choice; a choice for someone far below her in class and power, but she gives it to you nonetheless. For Ranni, the ability to choose and live the way you desire is incredibly important. She seems to dislike outside forces messing with the ability to expereince life (as she says feel, see, taste, etc). 

Therefore, in the final battle with Miquella and Radahn, Ranni is there with you via the tools she’s provided and the faith she has in you (you can interpret this as her blessing with the “we will see each other once more”). She doesn’t need to be hovering over you, arms wrapped around your neck; she trusts the Tarnished above all else to succeed and fight for her. But should they choose not to, she’ll be heartbroken but she won’t stop you. As for the Tarnished, our character is not a shell of a person. They are someone teeming with ambition and the will to fight for their chosen successor. They fight because they want to be there and challenge whatever comes to face them; they don’t need Ranni telling them “go fight Miquella and Radahn for me pls.” 

Their “Age of the Dark Moon” also is the antithesis to Miquella’s “Age of Compassion.” Whereas his is about control, Ranni wants to remove all outer god influence from the world. She wants people to experience their lives without the intervention of any god; to experience life on their own terms, whether they want otherworldly guidance or not. She literally takes her order and leaves the planet (?) with it and you. 

Ok, that’s enough of me rambling about whatever the fuck comes to my sleep deprived mind. I have a flight to catch in three hours, so I’m gonna leave it here. In closing, Ranni good I love her very much mwah<3

[cantstoplovingjude]

Underneath the Black Veil: Jude Jazza Epilogue

This is from Ikemen Villains EN, Cybird owns everything.

It was our wedding day.

We'd made a vow of love that was more like a curse, binding ourselves to each other until death.

Kate: "Jude, I'm really okay now."

Jude: "That's for me to decide."

But right after our wedding, several armed thugs attacked us with weapons.

Amidst the scuffle, I couldn't help but think how beautiful the shower of broken glass how beautiful the shower of broken glass was as it gleamed through the air.

The ringleader of the attack had been rendered unconscious by my groom's merciless kick. Apparently, he had some kind of grudge against Jude.

Speaking of my husband, he was currently examining every inch of me to make sure I was all right.

My wedding dress was barely hanging onto me.

And that wasn't the work of the thugs, but my husband's.

Jude: "Oy, I can't see. Look this way, at me."

Kate: "Jude..."

This wasn't the first time he'd seen my bare skin.

But that was precisely why my body was reacting to his rough touch.

Kate: "N-ngh..."

I bit the back of my hand to suppress the moan that threatened to spill out as his fingertips grazed my skin.

Kate: "I told you I'm fine, so you really don't have to check so thoroughly!"

Every time he touched me or looked at me, I felt my body heating up.

Jude: "I need to see every scratch on your body, so I know just how to torture the bastards who did this."

Jude: "Tch... I'm gonna find out who leaked the damn info 'bout our wedding, too."

As I listened to him muttering with irritation, I remembered how reluctant he'd been about having the wedding.

(Maybe...)

Kate: "Is this the real reason why you were against having a ceremony...?"

Jude: "Huh?"

He glare at me, scowling.

The fact that I actually adored that expression on his face meant I was too far gone.

Kate: "So that I wouldn't end up in danger?"

Jude: "First you're lookin' 'round at the pretty sparkles, now you're grinnin' like a fool. The hell's your problem?"

Kate: "You didn't deny it."

Jude: "Cuz you're just gonna interpret it however ya want anyway."

Kate: "Aha, that's true."

Jude: "Go on 'n laugh now. But one wrong move 'n they coulda stabbed ya to death."

His long fingers slipped down from my breasts to my stomach.

Kate: "Ahh, mm..."

The stimulation only made the desire inside of me build more, and a moan slipped out.

Jude: "...The hell are ya moanin' for?"

Kate: "I was just surprised!"

Jude: "Oh yeah?"

Without warning, he roughly pushed me down onto the bed.

He loomed over me, his hands gripping onto my waist.

Jude: "I forgot. There's still places I gotta examine."

He pushed up my wedding dress and lifted my legs into the air, spreading them.

Kate: "Jude!"

I shrieked his name in surprise, heat bursting across my cheeks and deep in my belly.

Jude: "So that's the sound ya make when you're just surprised, huh?"

Jude: "Lewd."

Kate: "H-hold on a second."

Jude: "Hm? What was that?"

A sharp pain raced through me as he nipped at the tender flesh of my inner thigh.

Kate: "Nngh!"

Jude: "That hurt?"

I nodded. But he already knew that pain wasn't the only thing I felt when he did that to me.

Every time he sank his teeth into my feverish skin, my heart raced and a sweet throbbing sensation built up inside me.

And as his tongue sweetly traced the bite marks he'd left, an even deeper desire pulsed through me.

Jude: "Ya really love pain, don't ya?"

I bit my lip hard when I heard that teasing tone in his voice.

Kate: "You made me that way."

He was the one who turned pain and shame into pleasure, who made me get off on it.

He was the one who changed everything I thought about what made me feel good.

Jude: "Mm, I love that sexy look on your face."

Jude: "I won't let ya go even if you cry or scream tonight, just how ya like it."

A sweet shiver ran through my spine as his eyes glowed with a sadistic passion he didn't even try to conceal.

With him, I'm sure it would be heaven even if he made love to me on a bed of nails.

==========

Jude: "We're both outta our minds, ya know that?"

He murmured as he lightly caressed my left hand, my fingers uncurling from the sheets to lace with his.

He wore an identical wedding band on his left ring finger.

And I couldn't help but grin when I saw it.

Jude: "Now what're ya grinnin' at?"

Jude: "What's so great 'bout that foul contract we made, huh?"

Kate: "You said so yourself. Those who will break the vow will break it. Those who can keep it will keep it until they die."

Jude: "How the hell can ya remember somethin' I said so long ago in that lil brain of yours?"

Kate: "That last part was unnecessary."

Jude: "How can that bird brain hold so many memories?"

Kate: "...I feel like the insults are just getting worse now."

Jude: "So what?"

Kate: "You're the kind of person who won't break his vows, no matter how foul they are."

Kate: "And because I know that, I'm happy."

Kate: "The fact that you made a vow to me..."

Kate: "Means you're going to keep to it, no matter what."

Jude: "...Even though y'know it'll just hurt ya in the end."

Jude: "The fact that you're happy there's no escape from me for the rest of your life means you're hopeless."

The man I loved was a dangerous man who earned people's grudges and got attacked in broad daylight, even on the day of his wedding.

But I knew a long time ago that being with him meant facing endless danger.

Kate: "You're the one who made me like the pain."

Jude: "Oh, so now you're blamin' me, huh?"

Despite his sarcastic tone, his touch was gentle as he stroked my hair.

Jude: "Nasty lil princess."

End Epilogue

[cyanocophrenic]

What are your favorite aspects about blueberry inflation?

lmao I'm so sorry, Anonococcus, you probably don't deserve this, but it's happening anyway.

👆 That's basically the question that prompted me to create this, an entirely separate tumblr from my normie one. I figured I'd write a couple of horny stories, get no attention whatsoever, and look at What I Had Done, and I'd see some patterns, and I'd be like "Ah Okay Now I Understand What's Wrong With Me" (fun fact for y'all homestucks, I'm a diehard Kanaya main. best girl. i miss her. do with that what you will.) anyway and having that analytical understanding of my weird fetishy ways, i'd then dissolve those desires back into the raw psyche-material and integrate them into more realistic, normative sexual expressions irl. i been thinkin' bout berries alone for a long time, and i got really tired and sad being that alone.

anyway, i have at least one fursona now, and i've made some cool friends (with more on the way?), and i keep finding good ideas for stories, and people seem(?) to enjoy the ones i've published, so... you can see how well that worked. and i love what i have now. working toward accepting these things about myself is (and was) the only real way forward, and i'll fight tooth and nail to keep what i've found here.

so, *big boss voice* favorite aspects of blueberry inflation, huh?

Gonna put this under a cut because it's gonna be nasty and weird and vulnerable and I don't wanna just drop that on anybody. Not suggesting that anyone will want to, but maybe don't reblog this if we're not mutuals, or if you don't Get It. And knowing me, Getting It will be a rare occurrence.

And once more, for the people in the back: MINORS DNI !

Favorite blueberry inflation aspects, go:

Well, first of all (and I mean this very literally):

it gets me soaking fucking wet.

I've kinda stopped trying to understand why. I have vague ideas, but I don't know that I'm ever going to be able to explain my needs to someone in a way where their lightbulb clicks on and they get it, and... I could be using that time to look at yummy smut instead, tbh.

It cuts straight through my skull, grey matter, every real and imagined barrier i've put between the outside world and my deepest vulnerability. It hits me dead-center-bullseye in the heart and the mind at the same time. That's a favorite, for sure.

Like... I kind of love everything about it? Even the depictions I don't care for, or the interpretations that don't resonate for me. I don't know if I've just spent too long fermenting alone and maybe I've gone a little crazy, but... I don't think I have. I think I was always like this, but it's been hard to tell without anyone else to provide context. Now I've gotten to talk with some people, and feel a little seen, and see them (i think? a little?) for who they are, and we're so different while still being the same. I knew there were other people like me, but now I Know, y'know? It's a wild feeling.

It's pretty cool how it just haunts me like a shadow, too. I mean that.

Not often, but every once in a while, I'll catch myself in the mirror, avoiding eye contact for some reason. I'll just kinda like... watch myself: long two-tone hair, pronouns, frankly great boobs, muscles, tattoos, long legs... no lie, I'm lowkey a hottie irl. T4T candy, at the very least. It's taken a while to get there, but I can see what other people have seen, sometimes. I have a few really-good things going for me. Not the ones I would choose for myself (get me a rouge the bat bbl STAT), but good nonetheless.

But I digress (a lot).

Anyway, I'll just watch that reflection and think "You think you're supposed to be a blueberry, don't you?" and after a moment, it'll reply "So do you, beloved."

How can I hide from that?

I know this isn't what you wanted this answer to be, Anon, and I'm a little sorry about that. I just can't really answer your question in a fun or hot way at the moment.

I don't think I have favorite aspects of blueberry inflation, disappointing as I know that answer is. I don't know that it's accurate to say I like it, or want it. I'm somewhere else with it for the time being. Hate to say this, but-

Blueberry inflation isn't something I just enjoy. Blueberry inflation is what I am.

[the-peak-tmnt]

So Leo sees the world through Raphs or his other brothers eyes right? Does it look normal or is it like fuzzier or blurrier? Or maybe the vision isn't blurry but the comprehension of whats happening blurs in and out a little bit?? I bet Leos perspective of everything happening is so disorientating and sad. Anyway here's a drawing I did. I really like your work!

AHHHH THIS IS INCREDIBLE!!!

Holy shit, I love this so much! The colors are amazing, especially with Leo and his shadow against them. And the way he’s boxed in to reflect his captivity…incredible imagery! Raph and Mikey's expressions are just so perfect, too! Just WOW dude! I’m so blown away by your visual interpretation of what Leo is seeing!!!

Thank you so much for the fan art 😭 It’s impossible to express how much it means to me when people are inspired by the story enough to create something. Seriously just so, so, SO rewarding, and it inspires me right back! THANK YOU!

Also, I love this question! I'm absolutely dying to reveal more about how the mental link between the brothers works, and how Leo experiences the world  beyond the place he’s being kept through Raph.

If things go according to plan, we will learn more about this in about 3 to 4 chapters. But I can’t help myself but give a little bit away early since you asked! If you aren’t afraid of some tiny spoilers, I’ll add more below the cut!

SPOILERS (KINDA?)

You totally hit the nail on the head! I literally have the word “disorienting” in my WIP document for a later chapter, because that’s the perfect description of how it feels for Leo at first.

As he continues to develop his skills over time, things become clearer whenever he “tags along” with Raph. He didn’t lie to Raph in Chapter 13 about not being able to hear Raph’s thoughts as clearly as he can when they’re in the dream room together. When Raph is awake and Leo is tagging along, he’s perceiving Raph’s sensory experience more so than his emotional state.

The turtles’ emotional states DO affect the “quality” of the connection, though. It’s implied that Leo’s been experiencing whatever media Raph is watching through the mind link, and that it’s clear enough that Leo can even hear dialogue. That’s because Raph is relaxed and (more or less) content when just hanging out watching YouTube or a movie.

The more unsettled, upset, or distressed Raph is, the less Leo can connect. This is why Leo tells Raph “I couldn’t feel you for a while” in Chapter 6. Raph had a panic attack/dissociative episode after speaking with Splinter, so Leo wasn’t able to connect with him at all. Leo doesn’t understand that’s what happened, though, thinking instead he maybe pushed the limits of their connection too far…

That being said, how everything works could very well change…if Raph ever decides to pick up that book again 😉

PS: I am losing my mind that you included Casey as something Leo saw! Because even though Raph/the reader doesn’t know it yet, Leo is aware that Casey has entered Raph’s life and this is IMPORTANT AHHHHHHH

[soulofatorturedpoet]

my opinions on the 2002 the count of monte cristo film

Idek why i even do this to myself anymore, why do i even try to watch any movie adaptations of books with complex female characters. I finished the 2002 the count of monte cristo film and in short it was absolutely horrible. I hated how much the story changed/removed so many detrimental things to the plot. Aswell as the characters, the thing i hated most was how horrible they portrayed mercedes. Ofc I didnt like how they portrayed any of the characters truly, but what made me the most upset was how mercedes was done. Im beginning to see a pattern among female "love interests" in these types of adaptations. They are always watered down to being helplessly reliant on men around them. rather than being able to be their own person all they become is the shadow of the men around them. A big thing about all of this is the fact that its a movie. A story this complex and this long should in no way be turned into just a movie. Anyways, mercedes never loved fernand and was taken advantage of by him when she was at her lowest, and moved on from edmond a long time ago. By the end the only person that was on her mind was her son. She was at peace with edmond after she got everything off her chest and was ready to let him go. So in no way should she be reliant only on one man when she is fully capable of having her own articulate thoughts and is completely fine on her own. And about fernands character, which i do not support what he did, just from picking up the book i know that he would never say anything along the lines of "whore" about her. They made his whole character revolve around his love for mercedes rather than showing the true evil side of him, such as his past with haydee (who wasnt even in the movie) and how he was overly obbsesed with his honor. He even shot himself in the end over losing it. The way he was characterized in this movie just sucked really. Another thing i absolutely hated the was the watered down revenge plan. In the original novel edmonds plans for revenge were complex and lasted years to complete, but in this movie, which again should not have been a movie in the first place, took his revenge plan and threw it out the window. As said in the movie itself "death is too good for them" but then he turns his back on that and just kills his enemies rather than giving them the long agonizing suffering just as he had to go through. He becomes too lively, rather than the revenge filled spirit of a man he is supposed to be. Also, by the end of it, edmond wanted to let go of his past life, along with mercedes. He no longer had any desire to live a life with her after feeling so betrayed, even after he figured out her side of the story. He just wanted to let it all go and this adaptation took that away from him. The lack of such important characters in the story such as the entire morrell family plus a few of the villeforts really put the nail in the coffin of his final grasps of humanity. Without these people edmond would be as good as a walking corpse. He wouldnt have any belief in love if it wasn't for julie and emmanuel. He wouldn't have any desire to protect anyone if it wasnt for Maximilian and valentine. He wouldn't have felt any remorse or have fallen from his trance of revenge if it wasn't for edwards death. He would have lost all hope in humanity if it wasnt for morrell being the only one who hadn't betrayed him after so long. These people are all detrimental to edmonds character development and they were either removed completely or given a different role in the story. All of this shows the person who made this adaptation didn't care to even open the book and read a few sentences, all they thought was "ooo cool revenge guy who had his girl stolen....this will make for a good movie!" This is the worst thing someone could do to such a masterpiece and i think if we cant learn to interpret books how they are meant to be interpreted then we have no business trying to turn them into any type of movie/film adaptation

Sorry for the rant i just had to get this out

[1moreff-creator]

Friendship between Diana and Toshiko from Eden’s Garden?

Aw, this would be very sweet and wholesome I think!

Especially because Toshiko kinda admired Diana at the start. I imagine Toshiko could get a little nervous talking to Diana because of that, but Diana’s so nice that that wouldn’t really last very long. In no time, you’d get a pretty fun dynamic going, where Toshiko would probably be Up to Some Shit like the silly billy she is, and Diana would trail her giggling along with the mischievousness.

They can bond over being the youngest in the cast, even when by the way people treat them you’d think Toshiko would be much younger. Diana would probably be mindful not to make Toshiko feel like she’s being treated like a child, though, so Toshiko would probably like discussing Mature and Sophisticated topics with Diana, such as Daytime Television and the cuteness of mascots of cereal brands. They would also talk a lot about movies, and probably paint together occasionally, which are Diana’s “likes” per her profile.

Their talents wouldn’t come into the picture much. It’s hard (and slightly pointless) to do someone’s makeup when half their face is permanently covered by a fan (beyond things like nail painting of course), and I don’t know how willing Diana would be to have her match made. However, if it makes Toshiko happy to use her talent, then maybe Diana would let her try.

This is a mistake.

Toshiko is very persistent with matchmaking schemes, so if the chosen match for Diana (pick whichever ship you like, I’m going non-despair Dieva) and/or Diana herself aren’t immediately willing to get together. Nothing too invasive would happen, but there would seem to be a bit too much mistletoe going near Diana and her match… even in the middle of spring. Either Toshiko is eventually told to back off by someone else (probably Ingrid), or Diana and her match kiss and marry and live happily ever after, there’s not much in between.

On other news, Diana’s bad at tongue twisters, but always attempts them anyways. Thus, per her FTEs, Toshiko always has a new one ready for whenever they talk, and they both giggle at Diana’s attempts, while Diana is sure to tell Toshiko how impressive she is at them. This friendship would do wonders for Toshiko’s ego. Whether that’s good or bad is up to reader interpretation.

When it comes to tough times, obviously Diana is pretty good at comforting Toshiko, and Toshiko… tries her best. If Diana’s going through something, Toshiko probably wouldn’t want to address it directly if possible, but she’d still try to cheer Diana up with gifts and fun activities. Lots of nails would be painted on those days, let me tell you.

That is, unless Diana’s sad because of something romance related. Because if some absolute fool breaks Diana’s heart… well, may God have mercy on their wretched soul, because Toshiko Kayura sure as hell won’t. I’ll let you imagine the details, but let’s just say that whoever made Diana sad is not gonna want to repeat that particular mistake ever again.

All in all, a very fun, sweet and wholesome friendship! They’re so neat. Thanks for the ask, I enjoyed thinking about it!

[pinkaditty]

How have you been doing, pink?? Are you recovering well?

Also I saw your tags in that one thing we did abt things we could talk abt for an hour and I almost forgot to ask: how did you get into gyaru??

hihi aya i am recovering well!! not in much pain anymore besides my legs bc they were nearly crushed in the accident but im otherwise okay! my immune system is total dogshit though so i was immediately hit with a bad cold after most of my pain had left and im STILL recovering from that cold. im so tired of being ill

and please call me mal or malibu, ur a trusted moot atp

also i read ur tags on ur post 4 the same thing and im soso curious. please. what do u know about celtic mythology....

anyways. me yapping about how i discovered gyaru. sorry! tw 4 mention of racism.

im just gonna immediately dive in2 the gyaru thing: it started when i was in my first year of college. i hadn't learned of it earlier and almost every day i wish i had discovered it sooner but so be it! i think it was in a random twitter thread about j-fashion that caught my interest. iirc gyaru was the most interesting out of all of them so i decided 2 do some more research on that one.

relevant background: by this point in my life, as all late teenagers do, i was working on completing the mesh that was supposed 2 be my sense of self and i hadn't really decided on a style that was perfect 4 me. i had styles i liked and disliked but nothing that really felt "perfect". i had robbed myself of allowing myself 2 be girly in most of grade school out of the internal need 2 be "different" and simultaneously being depressed, so i was going through my fashion discovery phase a bit late.

anyway, upon going through threads abt gyaru, i found myself just wanting 2 try it out 4 fun. id found myself more attracted 2 girly things lately, so it was hime gyaru that caught my eye first. as cool as yamanba, tsuyome, and ganguro seemed, i just didn't think i quite fit the bill 4 those, so i half-heartedly settled on hime gyaru. the label of gyaru felt right, but being hime gyaru in specific didn't feel like the best-fitting glove 4 me. this is why 4 the first month or so of being in2 gyaru, i wasn't super emotionally invested, but i found myself wanting 2 start anyway. my wardrobe slowly shifted and began 2 include things along the lines of hime gyaru outfits, which were cute! but after a while grew old far quicker than id anticipated. at first, i was dissatisfied, thinking that maybe this was just a fashion phase. despite that, i still decided 2 stick with gyaru, because i liked it, but i still couldn't put my finger on what substyle suit me best.

i should probably clarify that the reason i wanted 2 stick with gyaru so badly was probably because of the history i had found behind it after some digging. gyaru was inspired by many, many things, but an important factor was the style of western african american women in the 70s-80s. bold makeup, long nails, showy clothing, and lots of accessories were in pretty strongly then, considering the surge of black pride after the jim crow era. as a black woman myself, i was immediately inspired. it can be hard 2 interpret when you've never experienced it firsthand, but an entire life of rejection, assumption, and limitation simply due 2 a feature about your skin that you cannot control really sucks, so i, at that point, was also learning how to take pride in my own skin after years and years of being subjected to questionable, at best, and abusive, at worst, treatment from my surroundings. i was totally in awe that something made by people i descended from had become so popular that it inspired one of the biggest J-fashion movements ever. plus, i liked the droop makeup. it was a cute twist. and something really filled my heart upon discovering that japanese women created this style 2 break free from limiting beauty standards. no more conforming. no more coloring in the lines. they wanted 2 escape, and that was admirable. i wanted 2 escape, too.

after a while, a switch flipped. im not sure how or when or why, but a switch flipped. suddenly the girly, frilly, cutesy vibe of hime, roma, and himekaji no longer attracted me. i wanted bold colors, bold nails, bold makeup, and a bold attitude. i wanted 2 do away with the classic girliness of hime and instead veer towards more crass, wild, and colorful styles. "get wild and be sexy" was all i thought about. i wanted 2 get wild and be sexy and stop conforming 2 whatever the white-dominated society of america deemed appropriate. and suddenly! my favorite substyles were yamanba, ganguro, banba, tsuyome, and onee! suddenly i wanted 2 tan my skin a bit more! suddenly i liked hibiscus flowers and plumerias and wanted them in my hair! suddenly my favorite braiding hair color was blonde! suddenly i had the confidence 2 wear bikinis! it was like a tidal wave of change. once the wave had cleared, it had left an entirely new beach in its wake, and that beach was me.

2 be honest, i think the switch was triggered by realizing i didn't have 2 conform 2 the girly standard if i didn't want 2. i could just. be me. and accept the truth that it didn't matter if people liked me or not. at least i was being me.

not much else 2 tell besides that! i changed my wardrobe, started getting long acrylics (i can't function now if they're not xtra long), practiced makeup, decorated my room, changed my attitude (this took some time), and changed the way i type! the whole reason i use "2" and "4" is 4 the sake of the 'textspeak' vibe and because it's cunt. that and i use a lot of gyaru language, but with my friends specifically. im working on integrating it in2 my general lifestyle.

i still have a lot of steps 2 take, but gyaru lives in my head at this point. its been 3 long years of self-discovery, and each step has been perfect. this style is perfect. even before i discovered gyaru, when i would do my makeup 4 fun, i would draw my eyeliner downturned and connect it 2 my eye, like a droop! in a way, it was meant 2 be.

anyways that's that. i promise there's more between the lines here but im tired and its late and i wanted 2 get this ask out b4 too long. just know that if there was a gyaru version of the scarlet rot that Melania from Elden Ring has, i would have it. if you want more details, feel free 2 ask, but they won't be answered immediately... still writing a romeo x reader fic in which he teaches u makeup and that's currently sucking up most of my commitment.

[yuseirra]

This is a little commentary about what I've been drawing recently:

Thanks for reading my series of comic lately 'v')♥ I mean this one. I'm really happy when I see some familiar names who keep up with the updates(I feel so motivated to try harder because of you guys!) and engagement from the new people too. It really, really makes me excited and uplifted~

I started drawing this upon the thought that the character would do what she'd do in that story if things were to be happy and she could've reconciled. With the guy she loved just having grown up the way he was when they first met. I mean he wasn't bad when he was small!! He was kind and helped her out before she came to really care for him(what happened to that guy??? What's with the writing??). I pictured this happening really well? It felt so natural. If they really could reconcile I picture this being one of the likely scenarios that can happen! So this started as a "what if" sceanrio, with it being something fluffy and wholesome, lighthearted, it was just going to end in 3 or 4 eps with the happiest day-to-day moments. That was what I initially planned, the way I draw these little comic strips time to time, it was just one of those(and it is still, in a way! :) I care about all my fanworks.)

But then.. There was a turning point. I had an inquiry that the characters looked a little thoughtless and that was SO FAR from how I interpret them as!! And besides, these characters have faced some very serious events in their lives right? And it's what's shaped them and hurt them in a lot of ways. I didn't want to dismiss that, since that's something that existed. Those needed to be touched in order for things to be... Really, completely, fully happy the way I felt it should be. With that being said, what I want to convey would be that although there may be scars that are left that cannot be "erased" or wiped clean like it never happened in the first place, you still can live a life as normal"(what is normal to begin with, anyway, but we want to be/have that. A life that flows on with little pain and worry) and happy and even happier than anyone, be so fulfilled afterwards.

...Because those two characters especially, they struggled and suffered so much from the abuses they had that wasn't their fault. That's what abuse does to people, it's so unfair, especially when it's done to kids who have no power to protect or fight back. People tend to internalize the pains they received as kids and blame themselves for it, and it's very sad. This piece displayed that part of the situation very well but did they ever truly heal from it? I don't think they were really allowed to till the end?

So I wanted to tackle that and attend to some of the things that hurt them. With that all having some sort of closure one way or the other, I'm sure nothing would hold them back or linger as a trauma that's never healed onwards. There'd be flashbacks, the pain, but it'd never be a factor to define them anymore, would it? It's really important to tend to the wound, I personally feel the nature of it's similar to having physical pain. Like having a nail stuck within your flesh? Sometimes you may have to cut it open, take it out and apply medicine to it, and of course, sometimes it may be even more complicated than that because you can't see the cause that's making you suffer in a clear sense. A lot of the times, it gets even worse when you take action so it's really up to you to make a decision. Things are never so ideal. It's usually never something you can forget about and get it over with, you may never be satisfied with the outcome.

I can't say that my takes would be the best, nor be so insightful, I just...Chose to dive in because I thought it would be necessary and essential for the plot and I'm thinking about it afterwards. Still, I would like to say I am taking it seriously and I knew it'd be really tough.. I knew it would be, I just hopped in though. This is making me think a lot o<-< hikaru's case was painful but it was really evident of what should happen as an aftermath so I had a clear idea from the beginning. So on that regard, I always knew how I'd illustrate it if there were to be some sort of confrontation. For Ai's case, I think there may not be a definite answer for this one. And now I decided to work with that too...(but she deserves it! She needs her spotlight!!) I spent time reading interviews and watching videos about this subject yesterday and wow, it's so hard and difficult. I do have my stance on this subject though, and I think what I draw will not stray so far off from it. It's not something that I suddenly just started getting interested in the past week or something. I cannot say if I'm as thoughtful enough to handle this well and the fancomic's going to be simple and short, the original piece isn't mine to begin with and there are a lot of loose things and what's left undescribed and I don't know about these characters as well as the authors themselves so I get afraid about being inaccurate but-

Whatever I come up with, I hope it doesn't come off in a way that'd come off as ignorant towards people's pains. That's what I really care about.

It'd be nice if..people can feel a bit happier and feel a sense of warmth from my pieces. That's the feeling I want to send through this particular set of comic, it's been really healing for me myself. Healing doesn't come from ignorance and dodging things, I believe, I did have my sets of disappointment and sadness too and things just don't magically become well. What I actually learned, in fact, is that, people don't work the way you want them to be. The mean ones cannot change because you want them to, you can't expect them to turn a new leaf upon you asking. People decide to change when something happens to them that makes them feel a need to and that's different for everyone. But it's still liberating and free to have some sort of closure for yourself and have you take the control back of your own emotions. So that's what's important and you deserve to be free, you deserve to be happy regardless of the situation and outcome, there's always going to be things outside that pain that isn't one. If you have ones to support you and who really love you, you'll be okay. More than just okay, you'll thrive. So...I really wish people can find someone like that, feel that way about yourself even if you're alone. I wanted that to happen for Ai... It's about her. And her loved ones, her boyfriend too, I wanted to give that to them as well(this comic is SO CRUEL!! I can't stand seeing bad things happening to nice people maybe? That hurts to see!!)

Yep, that's some of the thought processes I had/am having as I write and draw out my works. Not just this one, but I feel like it's something I wanted to send out for every series I draw about. It's my way of sending out love. Everyone gets in a tough spot time to time, but you'll make it out. I hope that feeling gets sent to you and that it'll make you smile. I wish you well!