#ANYWAYS I REALLY REALLY LOVE WRENCH
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I’m rewatching supernatural, and I can’t believe I never realised this before, but sam and dean are the exact opposite of what they think of themselves. In the brothers’ eyes Sam is the more emotionally open one, or the one with more empathy, and yet he struggles to make close relationships that aren’t romantic. He keeps everyone at arms distance: john, mary, bobby, cas, and so many other examples throughout the series. Whereas dean is supposed to be closed off and emotionally stunted, and yet he has deeper connections with almost all recurring characters: garth, jody, donna, claire (obviously the ones mentioned before). He lets people in more easily than sam. Even how he knows all the shopkeepers in lebanon, whereas they don’t seem to know sam (ie 14x13).
#this isn’t sam bashing#i love him#it’s just an interesting contrast#sam’s relationship with mary is especially gut wrenching#i think he never felt like she was someone he could call his#john and dean had dibs because they actually remembered her#and because of his issues with john he never really understood what a parent was supposed to be like other than a drill sergeant#dean still had that faint memory of life before the fire but sam had nothing#maybe that’s why he struggled especially hard with the parental figures like jody and bobby#whereas dean would almost immediately accept them and be more open#i also think his struggle with his identity as a hunter made it difficult for him to relate to other hunters#anyway I could be wrong#sadi rewatches spn#dean winchester#sam winchester#mary winchester#john winchester#bobby singer#jody mills#castiel#supernatural#spn#dean studies#sam studies
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i finished it, was kicked out of the game, and then spent the next 10 minutes drawing this. i will now go take a shower, most likely cry, and then go through the emotional turmoil of convincing myself to reset so i can do a geno run. i hate it here :D
#undertale yellow#uty#my art#<- ifg#spoilers under these tags beware. although it is mostly just me being very very sad#that entire thing was heart wrenching. anyways#CEROBAS FIGHT??? HELLO???#i had to exit out of it the first time (i got to the last phase) to get better items but i came back and won pretty quickly#but THE CUTSCENES?!?!?#JFC NO WONDER THIS WOMANS SO MESSED UP. HER HUSBAND PRACTICALLY DIED IN HER ARMS AND THE LAST THING HE LEFT HER WITH- HIS DYING WISH- COULD#ONLY BE FULFILLED BY PUTTING THEIR ONLY CHILD IN DEATHS WAY. AND THEN WHEN SHE TOOK THAT RISK THE WORST THING HAPPENED AND SHE NOW HAS TO#LIVE WITH THE GUILT OF BEING THE ONE TO. MOST LIKELY. KILL HER ONE AND ONLY DAUGHTER#ALL THE WHILE SHE WAS PUSHING AWAY HER CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND AND CONVINCING HERSELF THAT SHE WAS IN THE RIGHT TO SACRIFICE CLOVER WHO HAD#BEEN ONLY KIND MERCIFUL AND JUST THIS WHOLE TIME. EVEN TO THOSE WHO WERE TRYING TO KILL THEM. FUCK.#AAND WHEN CLOVER HUGGED HER I DOUBLED OVER IRL BC *THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO DO IN THAT MOMENT* I HATE IT (read: love it) HERE#n dont even get me STARTED on after that. when clover started moving on their own and the gd white screen came up and we got flashbacks of#everyone's words. thats when the tears rlly started coming bc it clicked for me. 'oh. this is it. isn't it?' and IT WAS#WHEN THEY GAVE THEIR FUCKIGN HAT AND GUN AWAY TO MARTLET AND STARLO WELL THATS WHEN I REALLY STARTED CRYING#AAND THE GROUP HUGG#I WAS SOBBING WHENEVER I HAD TO WATCH THEM CRAWL UP AGAINST THE WALL AND DIE AND HAVE FLOWEYS WORDS PLAY OVERHEAD#AND THE FUCKOGN#THE F U C K I N G#AFTEWRCREDITS SCENE WHERE WE GOT THE 'You heard someone calling for help. You answered.' I GOT CHILLS SO BAD#to think that all the other souls have stories just as expansive and emotional as clover n frisks. how fucked up is that. in a good way tho#and finally the last scene where we got all 4 of our main friends sending us off in waterfall and we see clovers items end up in the dump#just waiting to be found by bratty and catty. fucken hell man this was a masterpiece#anyways time to reset and obliterate everyone and never emotionally recover from that ever!! really is feeling like 2016-17 again w the way#this game has me sobbing my eyes out and feeling the guilt of knowing that i dont HAVE to kill them all but im too curious not to#oh well. at least i have the balls to do it this time around instead of letting a youtuber do it for me ig
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Vr46 academy keychains
Set of five charms that all match in different ways



˚ ✦ . . ˚ . . ✦ ˚

Open for detailed pictures of each one
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ *ੈ✩‧₊˚




ִֶָ 𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆★⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ




:・゚✧:・.☽˚。・゚✧:・.:




˖⁺‧₊˚⭒✮⭒˚₊‧⁺˖




. ݁₊ ✶. ݁ ˖ˎˊ˗




I ran out of tags so I'll say it here but i would greatly appreciate a reblog, especially if you share your thoughts on these pieces in tags (。•̀ᴗ-)✧
(Also i forgot that bez have matching part with luca so I didn’t add that to tags sorry
#motogp#marco bezzecchi#pecco bagnaia#valentino rossi#celestino vietti#luca marini#mb72#fb63#vr46#cv13#lm10#vr46 academy#okay so i fear tags won't be enough for me this time but I'll try tell everything anyway#firstly i used nicknames (should have used maro but didn't think at the time) for everyone because it brings more of a family feeling than#when i do initials and that's exactly what i wanted with them. on the same note the wolves#the wolves were tge first thing that started this idea because i wanted to make bez charm and picked one up and then it expanded very fast#because let's all face it - they are basically a wolf pack and it's extremely fitting. also after taking these pictures i found mettalic on#for cele. and it's a huge slay because i really don't like mismatching colours of metal#probably the only one that i did mismatch is vale but amazingly it looks pretty neat. i also put as many turtles as i physically could#also except for wolves he also has matching beads with cele and luca if you can spot them#while cele matches luca and bez#bez matches cele and pecco while pecco matches only bez. it was quite a challenge to find beads that would suit their different#colour schemes while looking organic in keychains#also for bez i used a wrench bc of his family and i think that's pretty neat detail#it was absolute mindfuck to find beads for five different keychains at the same time because of how different they all are but i tried#also put a lot of effort into not repeating myself as much as j could in structures so they all have their own personalities outside of set#also i love that “bez” part looks like fangs icl#if you see bead that stands out by colour from all others in keychain it's probably for their eye colour because i love to add that too#also used old bez livery because what we had this year was horrible#actually i made it some time ago just never had time to post
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The sillies. Every time someone calls Bernard 'boring' I will draw him in the most needlessly fancy and outlandish clothes as a silent protest. And also bc I like it.
#bernard dowd#tim drake#darla aquista#timbern#timber#ignore the awful limb and foot placing i cannot with anatomy#people really DO hate to see a sunshine blonde winning#bernard i am so sorry they made you the scapegoat to their anger and anguish you have never done anything ever#but anyways#i love these three so much they are my heart and soul#and i still haven't forgotten to make those laura fell comics i am just lazy#bear with me#(and also i am struggling to figure out how to draw jason todd so thats putting a wrench in my plans)#dc comics#dcu#aest-a-sketch
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I really really wanna know more about Donna Troyyy, so far I love her so much but I don't wanna be the type of person who claims they love a character then can't name 5 things about them. I wanna do her justice and really understand her character and purpose. I also don't wanna read something that completely mischaracterizes her because I'm aware that there's a LOT of that these days. I was hoping you could give me some recommendations to read after my tests?
Thank you so much if you do, and have a wonderful day! <3
I think I can help with that! Luckily donna's characterization is pretty solid & consistent in any comic up to around 2006. i would be wary of more modern interpretations of her but for most of her older appearances you don't really have to worry about bad writing.
The number 1 rec for donna is always New Teen Titans, that's where pretty much the majority of her appearances and character development take place in the 80s and 90s. The whole series is very long though so if you want more specific recommendations that focus on her I would definitely read ntt vol 1 #38, vol 2 #7-9, #18-21, #47, and #50-55. Issues 18-21 especially are probably my number one rec for donna if you're interested in seeing her flaws and struggles; those four issues took place when the titans were kind of falling apart, donna had to step up and call the shots, and it's a really neat insight into her character that i don't think gets quite as much attention as arcs like her origin stories. You'll probably honestly get a good feel for her if you pick any couple of arcs from NTT and read them through.
Wonder Woman (1987) #126-136 is a very important arc that reiterates donna's borderline horror dimension-bending origin weirdness. Titans '99 is a must-read for her, and jumping off that the Return of Donna Troy miniseries is like... Thee donna comic of all time so i would definitely recommend that. In between ntt and titans 99 she was in things like green lantern and darkstars but honestly the biggest things for her character you have to know from that time are that she and terry got divorced, she was dating kyle rayner, terry tried to take custody away from her, and terry & robbie died in a car accident.
There are way more detailed and comprehensive rec lists you can find in my donna tag if you're interested- I left out arcs like total chaos which are narratively very important for her but i don't think are quite as good a showcase for her as a character- but I think if you just want to get a feel for her character these are a good place to start. if you want like a primer on some of her major character traits i can definitely provide that lol:
donna is an incredibly emotionally intelligent and kind person who is a very good listener and always ready to help, which is why she's pretty much the #1 trusted person every single titan goes to when they need to vent. unfortunately being the appointed Fixer of All Problems Mom Friend when you're like barely an adult gets pretty overwhelming and is a very unfair weight to put a person; you can see this start to grate on her in titans 99 especially. something I like about donna is how open and honest she is with people about her struggles. most characters in the superhero genre would rather die than admit they need help and will never ever talk about their problems without being forced to, but donna isn't like that. if you ask her what's wrong she's going to be honest and tell you what's bothering her. she struggles a LOT with trying to appear 'perfect' in everyone else's eyes, and is really motivated by seeming to have it all together even when she doesn't. this is fueled a lot by her not being born an amazon and not knowing where she came from; the fact that for a lot of ntt she doesn't know her own history really gets under her skin. donna's identity issues are a HUGE part of her character especially later on as retcons and reboots get folded into her story. her past doesn't make sense. she has like nine competing backstories. she's one of the only people to remember the world pre-crisis on infinite earths and has literally been been forced out of existence and remade through pure memories, not to mention all the times dark angel forced her to live different lives until she reached rock bottom as a punishment for diana lol. in one origin she literally is not a real person and was just a mirror twin of diana. the main tagline associated with her is 'who is donna troy?' lol. which i think is fascinating and a very fucked up existence.
Anyway! I can talk about my girl all day. I hope this was at least a little bit helpful!
#ask#donna troy#sorry this is so long i got carried away<3#OH i didn't really touch on this but donna's search for family is also sooo important to her character.#like ntt 38 is so good bc she's so desperate to find her parents and in the end realizes she has soooo many people who love her.#yes dorothey hinckley is her mom and yes she found the evans but the amazons and the titans are her family too. she is so loved.#so family is very important to donna which makes it all the more gut wrenching when all the shit goes down with terry and she#ultimately loses her child.#rough.#anyway people should talk about donna & the evans more their relationship is so special 2 me
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Whilst I hand you guys a couple of Wrench doodles, rate this embarrassing instance out of 10 that just happened to me:
For the second time in my entire ICT course, I used irrelevant vocabulary to answer a test question (thankfully just a progress checker test, not the actual thing!!). First time that it happened I ended up using ionic bonds to explain how a laser printer worked. The second time I used the word formulae (which apparently is mathematic vocabulary and not just used to describe some recipe like in SpongeBob) to explain the advantages HTML developers can gain from website templates☠️
anyway embarrassing misuse of vocabulary aside wrench doodles as promised:




#watch dogs#watch dogs 2#watch dogs fanart#watch dogs 2 fanart#traditional art#fanart#wrench watch dogs#wrench wd2#reggie blechman#Reginald Blechman#guys about the misuse of vocabulary I just think things differently#I LITERALLY THOUGHT OF FORMULA AS LIKE A PRE-MADE RECIPE KIND OF LIKE WEBSITE TEMPLATES THAT YOU CAN MAKE CHANGES TO#IN ORDER TO SUIT YOUR PLAN THEREFORE SAVING TIME#LIKE THE SECRET FORMULA IN SPONGEBOB#the ionic bonds one is a different story.. I just thought of it as positive charges being attracted to negative ones and thought ionic bonds#anyway school rant aside can I just say how I LOVE wrench’s way of expressing his emotions through his mask??#LIKE THE MASK LITERALLY GETS HIS FEELINGS ACROSS AND HES ABLE TO BE MORE CONFIDENT AND EXPRESSIVE#AS SOMEONE WHO STRUGGLES WITH THAT KIND OF STUFF ITS REALLY COOL TO SEE#Also wrench in general.. I can madly relate to him in the way we both express our emotions low-key similarly#like yes I’d swear like a sailor and take my frustration out on a chair if I found out me and my friends were being used as MARKETING#Reggie Blechman I love you they can never make me hate you#I stole this secret storyboard plan from Ubisoft but wrench is autistic it’s canon /j (joking)#these are just doodles so I’m not worried about Improportions or accuracy#wrench without his mask is just really nice to draw plus it gives me practice for drawing crooked noses! ^^#anyway yap session over
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it's been too many years for this to be relevant anymore but i'm STILL pissed off about heather by conan gray getting popular and the meaning being co-opted into "omg that girl is godly levels of beautiful and i'm just too ugly to compete" :( like. the song is about being gay. it is a song being sung by a man about how the person he likes will never like him back because that person likes women. the reason the singer says he's not as beautiful as heather is because he is not attractive to that person specifically because he's not a woman. are you stupid.
#just because conan gray hadn't said the words 'i'm queer' with his mouth at the time doesn't mean the song wasn't gay#he explicity said he doesn't care about labels and has had love interests of multiple genders in his music videos#use some critical thinking skills i beg!!#like i'm not saying it was definitely all straight people or that straight people can't like the song#i'm pissed the song was stripped of it's original meaning and made into another surface level 'let's all say we're ugly' tiktok trend#when it was a really heart-wrenching song about hating yourself for your sexuality#like YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO WANT TO BE HEATHER FOR ANY OTHER REASON. SHE IS NOT A UNIQUELY ASPIRATIONAL FIGURE. SHE'S JUST STRAIGHT.#okay. anyways.#do i post this with tags. or will i get jumped.#conan gray#kid krow#heather conan gray#conan gray heather#tiktok#gay#queer#how to be cringe 101
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i think house could be cuddy's weed smoking girlfriend actually,
#hatecrimes md#not an original thought maybe but idc i truly dont think he could be wilsons weed smoking girlfriend#he causes too much stress#the stress he causes cuddy is different bc their actual relationship outside of work isnt so reliant on their constant discommunication#with wilson their freindship is built on never saying what they really mean so houses position as weed smoking girlfreind is tainted#who knows if hes actually telling the truth#as is the god given duty of the weed smoking girlfriend#which also to be fair much of house's character in general is built on repression and obfustication and hiding behind various behaviors#specifically in order to hide what hes really thinking/feeling at any given time#(which yes comes back as self-sabotage when he does have an actual emotionally charged sincere moment but in a much less intentional way)#anyway with cuddy his moments of uncharacteristic bluntness carry more of a hopeful tone#compared to the ones with wilson which give pure gut wrenching doomed yaoi (i love you after the outlet thing + the whole car scene + etc)#the weed smoking girlfriend's job is to deliver gut wrenching truths in a blunt/sincere way#(blunt way lol)#the weed smoking girlfriend's observations are a call to action: they actively de-obfusticate the situation#and theres no way house is ever going to be that honest with wilson bc it would call for the restructuring of their entire friendship#not until the finale anyway#ughhh what am i talking about#idiots#cant housepost without the idiots tag either#WHY CANT I USE COMMAS IN TAGS WTF????#hate
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A lil thing inspired by an outfit in this art by @alibonbonn and an unfinished bonus inspired by another in this art by @oneslimybastard
I just want him to enjoy the sun still 🧡🥺🦇🥺🧡 (and get an excuse to draw us in our matching AND clashing outfits 😤)
#my art stuff#digital art#baldurs gate 3#bg3#astarion#spawn astarion#tav#tiefling tav#durge#tiefling durge#astarion x tav#astarion x durge#spiced vanity#transparent#parasol#vest boys#it would’ve technically matched more to wear my other fave shirt (similar sleeve poof to assy here)#but I NEED my colourblocks if I’m gonna be wearing my hat and look like a scarecrow 😤#scarecrow/påskkärring …or påskgubbe? what’s the masc equivalent-???#anyways that vibe is my life - you’ll have to wrench it from my cold dead hands.#btw alibonbonn - I’m gonna EAT your art here. I haven’t really looked at your other stuff yet but I WILL eat this one in particular.#it WILL happen.#get ATE fool!!!!!#I ALSO LOST MY SHIT AT THE TOTK REF THAT’S SO STUPID I LOVE IT - MY POOR LAD FJSBDJSBDJSBD#AND SLIMY - I WILL CHEW THIS WILL WOOD-ASS SUIT AND I NEED TO DRAW HIM IN SIMILAR STUFF MORE#YOU KNOW THE GOOD SHIT#sorry if either of y’all didn’t want to be tagged btw - I hope this was fine
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My thoughts on “A Dream of Benji” - Luke’s Fluffy Fuzzy Time Card
so I had the privilege (or the misfortune, depends on how you’d view it lmao /lh) of getting and reading Luke’s new FFT card. I haven't seen anyone talking about it yet, and I have many thoughts about it so.... To anyone who hasn’t read it yet, beware I’ll be discussing spoilers (come back when you’ve read it please I promise you you won’t regret it) and as everyone else probably mention it’s probably best to read this after the FFT event (or at least after completing Benji’s route)
BUT I MUST SAY, this card has surprisingly became one of my favorite Luke cards (in terms of the art as well I mean look at THEM(tm) LAYING DOWN IN A MEADOW OF FLOWER... MISS ROSA LOOKS SO ESPECIALLY PRETTY HERE LIKE) right up there with Luke’s 1st anniversary card “Under the Milky Way” and Luke’s “Shape of You” card. I know everyone is probably saving up for the second anniversary (I really need to save up to I haven’t been playing as much last month) but if you do have the s-chips to get the card like... *grabs you in a chokehold* it’s so good. I promise you it’s really worth it.
Though disclaimer! These are just my thoughts (I’ve been up all night thinking about a virtual dog... Please I Am Not Okay) feel free to disagree! I’ll be discussing about character death and Luke’s illness, so if you ain’t good with that feel free to skip this!
Okay, moving on.
Hoyoverse. What the actual fuck. (YOU THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE A CUTE CARD? CUTE EVENT? TAKING CARE OF VIRTUAL ANIMALS? A FLUFFY FUZZY FUN TIME!?!? WRONG. ABSOLUTELY WRONG.) This whole card was so incredibly devastating and yet it’s so hopeful at the same time. They really hammered in the idea of “inevitability” and “hopeful anticipation” irt actualbird's journal of NXX Investigation Team Behavioral Studies. To me at least, this card is like everything that makes Luke... Luke... condensed into a card.
About Benji (you sweet sweet boy):
Immediately right in the first story, Benji is admitted into hospital and it’s very much obvious that... Benji, a retired 9-year old military dog, doesn’t have much time left.
Benji, obviously, is very much a parallel to Luke Pearce... As I was reading the card, Benji’s situation almost feels like a peek into of what could be Luke’s Future... what could become of Luke. Once great and majestic dog plowing through a vast field of snow, saving hostages along side other agent... now so frail, the wear and tear of old injuries, old age and illness is finally getting to Benji.
...and in Luke’s own words: “Is he still the same Benji from my memories.”

Luke and Rosa decides to take Benji into a dog park, where they hope to give Benji some sort of “freedom”... for Benji to finally some semblance of living life as a normal dog. It still had to be catered in a way that was familiar to Benji... and this is sort of scattered around through out between the event stories and the card. eg. making custom training dumbbells, planning training regiments, recreating a hostage situation. Even when Benji is retired, he's still yearning to go back... eg looking back to the direction of military base. Because in the end of the day, that’s all Benji Knows. His Whole Life has Always Been a Mission to Benji.
Then Mr. Henderson, a man in the dog park who's also grieving about his late dog, who's also a retired military dog. And while Luke was able to open up to this man, as both have/are going through the same grief. But MAN did that interaction cause Luke to spiral downwards.

Even in what I would say Benji’s last moments with Luke and Rosa, the way that Luke had to dismiss Benji of his “duty” this way. (I’m not okay, I’m not okay, THIS DIALOGUE WRECKED ME)

About Luke (ah here we go again):
After being subsequently punched multiple times in the face by “LOOK BENJI/LUKE PARALLELS, LOOK AT IT. LOOK AT IT!!!”
As I’m going “NO BENJI UWAH QAQ” every second through this card... I also can’t help but fear for Luke. It really made me think that... let’s say even if NSB drops Luke the moment he was diagnosed with the illness and three years left to live, I really do wonder if he would’ve been able to cope with it... or otherwise live with himself?
Luke as we know it, has this whole self deprecating deal of avoiding and hesitating happiness. The way I see it, he often times try to make himself seem "small" in a way, that he prioritizes other people's needs first before his own. And I would imagine the last thing he'd want for himself is to become a burden/useless. If one day Luke does retire from NSB, one would think that he'd be free... but not really either. I can imagine him being sort of like "what now?" (i can sort imagine luke entering this phase of adjusting back to normal life when he's back in Stellis. this brings me to the headcanon of luke's... questionable lifestyle is a product of Luke having to readjust to normal life /i’m sorry i made fun of your kitchen and my boy, you probably had to make do what with what you had.)
If think about Luke lying in a hospital bed, nearing the end of his life. I'm Going To Lose It (tm). But looking at Benji all old and sickly... I really can’t help imagine that IF it were to happen, it would probably go down the same way it did for Benji. (I Am Going To Cry)
Anyways, after the conversation with Mr. Henderson, Luke spirals down into thoughts of "if I didn't left you, would things have been different?", “we could’ve been happier, if only I had made the “right” choice. (and I wanna grab him by the shoulders and then scream at him “LUKE STOP BAD >:C”)
About Rosa (YOU GO GIRL SLAY):
NOW, HONESTLY. ROSA REALLY DO SHINE IN THIS CARD. HER RESPONSE TO BENJI. HER RESPONSE TO HER SAD LITTLE BOYFRIEND GRIEFING AN SPIRALING DOWN. THIS IS WHY SHE IS THE MC(TM) AAA
but more than that, this card somehow not only showcase her strengths but also how this somehow becomes a weakness as well (at least to me).
Rosa to me, comes off someone who really looks on straight ahead and her focus on what she can do in the present, in contrast to Luke’s tendency to focus on past regrets and uncertain tomorrows. I would argue that she also has this like- perseverance/stubbornness against adversities and I would say that her solutions also come off as very head on?. (could you imagine having to argue with your lawyer girlfriend, like nah... you ain’t winning for sure.)

(”But that’s for dogs” I’m laughing through TEARS OMG - Luke is Dog-Coded FR) But Rosa in here is really ain’t letting Luke go, forcing Luke to Actually Look into her Eyes and tell her What’s Wrong. (LukeRosa nose booping omg...this is how they comfort each other in my head from now on) Which yes, sometimes I think Luke does need someone who can hold him back before he retreats, but also at the same time... after this exchange, Rosa realizes that it’s not really quite enough to erase his worries. And I think this is also the exact moment Rosa realizes that not all problems could be solved immediately... sometimes you have to let time do its thing and just.. sit with it.
(Rosa calling in an animal psychologist... like did she just searched on up in the internet for consultation like pls Rosa) In Story 5 (I’d put in every screenshot from this part if I could), we go on the Benji’s “rescue mission”, I kinda enjoyed how Rosa does fumble a bit here and there... though with good intentions, perhaps the overly familiar environment was over-stimulating to Benji? which caused him to attack Luke somehow... But anyways... It seems that Benji still thinks that he’s on service and it’s not when Luke “dismissed” him of his “duties does Benji stop and Luke, just so full of grief, wondering why Benji couldn’t just forget the past. And Rosa really isn’t holding back with her words when she says:
“Why does Benji have to forget the past?” “
Have you ever thought that perhaps Benji is proud of himself for being a military dog?”
“You said before if Benji wasn’t a military dog, he could probably lead a happier life.”
“But Luke, you and I are not Benji, We can never understand Benji’s true feelings.”
“And we can’t just make wild guesses about whether Benji would have ended in a better situation if he had made a different choice...
“Because it will never happen”
Because it will never happen....
MISS ROSA I-
“But how are you sure a “perfect and flawless” choice exists in this world”
“Luke, are you sure that if one makes a different choice, one’s ending will be better?”
I just really love Rosa for this because she just so... incredibly focused in the present and taking one’s autonomy. And this is probably so reassuring to Luke (and to me) cause she’s basically saying “regardless of what happens, we will be fine.”
And I don’t think Rosa has ever blamed Luke for leaving, for having a dangerous job, nor for getting diagnosed with only 3-years left to live. SHE JUST LOVES HIM SO MUCH OUEUEUEUEUOOO!!! Even. EVEN. if Luke’s condition does turn for the worse, I really do think that Luke is in very VERY capable hands. AND THAT’S SO REASSURING TO ME? As much as I Really Don’t Want Luke to Die (Please Find A Cure For Him), but just the thought that Rosa is going to be there for him (just as he will be there for her) regardless of whatever happens to the both of them, it will always be the “best ending”.
I’m just so happy that Rosa’s answer to Benji’s case is really just to ensure that Benji lives the last few days of his life... happy. and IT’S SUCH A ROSA ANSWER PLS... Even with Luke as well, even with knowing all the risks of staying with Luke, she’d rather make the most out of the remaining time they have. But even so, she’s still so full of hope! “As long as we’re not at the end of the path, there’ll be boundless possibilities”
Luke is the Definition of Devotion, BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT ROSA? It’s so subtle, but I really can’t deny that Rosa does really really really love Luke too, in a way that she’s going to be there for him... for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death. (HOLDS THEM BOTH IN THE PALM OF MY HANDS UUUUUOEOEOOEOE)
When Benji finally passes away peacefully in a quiet afternoon, with Luke and Rosa at his side, I really do think that this is the best ending for him. RIP Benji, you were the goodest boy.
#tot spoilers#chika rambles#Luke Pearce#lukerosa#tearsofthemis#on another note: luke's voice acting here. HEART WRENCHING.#i'm using korean dub#cause luke sounds the most gentle in korean to me at least#also reliving mystic messenger vibes...#but whenever his voice breaks i just wanna cry with him#anyways have I told you guys that I love them so much?#I love them so much#this almost sounds like a sponsored ad for Luke's FFT card but#omg it's so painful but so good#forgive me for any grammar mistakes/typos cause i really didn't structure this in anyways it's really just everything in my head plonked#down to the keyboard as i smash the keys with much much emotions
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i am genuinely so crazyyyy about lbruuuuu.... like Genuinely Genuinely. its pretty bad guise
#like. im crazy about the.m#unfortunately ive been touched by autism and therefore the pattern seeking. they are so dirkjake#and also so me nand my husband <3#its kind of freaky actually#my husband and kabru both have ptsd overthinking masking disease. he said he didnt like kabru (anime only) and i told him about those trait#and he was like is he me. is that why i dont like him. and i was like LOL#he was ilke i dont like that he says what he needs to get what he wants... and i was like sir we literally just talked about how bad your#Fake Conflict Avoidant has gotten bro dont even play#im laios ofc.... ofc... not only is our autism like. similar in presentation. but also the whole never fitting in#and getting told off by a friend granted i wasnt told she always hated me but i was told about how annoying i am and on another occasion#how unreliable i am so LOLLLL that entireeeee scene seriously wrenched my soul#anyway im gonna commit egregious acts against myself to atone for this#alsoooooohis relationship with falin... is really relatable..#now this may sound harsh against laios but im his number one fan i will defend him to death but...#he left his struggling sister to avoid his own pain and didnt reconnect with her for years#like. Yeah. wow. i will say i was much more cruel to my sibling than laios ever was to falin lol he was just kind of a normal brotherly ass#and ofc he was a kid when he ran from home! and i was a kid when i had severe unmanaged adhd (with tism) and had 0 hold on my emotions#and then i withdrew from my sibling once i got on antidepressants lol#it was really difficult to deal with the guilt of having mistreated them to the extent i did while also acknowledging i was failed by our#adults its hard figuring out what exactly youre sorry for#anyways#i love oversharing here. do you guys like it. does anyone ever read these rants#DM
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sunny day in autumn
(alt vers + scarf vers below cut)
#EDITED wrench's face fixed#they are so important to me. i'm unwell irl#i don't hesitate so much to post them anymore which is good i think#anyways this one was actually a lot of fun despite the fact that i had to learn to color leaves from scratch#i'd like to work on trees some more because although they came out nice they don't necessarily match my style#i redid the background composition twice too#anyways yeah i really love them. ceo of dumb rarepair#art or whatever#starlight express#stex#starlight express fanart#stex fanart#starex#rusty the steam engine#wrench the repair truck#rust repair#rustheal#rustywrench
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god. me when characters escape the narrative
#drop#about loop ofc. but also yoo joonghyuk#i'm glad we never got to learn his ■■. it's not our right!!!#augh. also thinking about how much i love orv's not-really-open ending#how appropriate for a story about the relationship between stories writers & readers to hand its ending over to the reader#after reading orv you *want* kdj to return. and you are the reader the story is reaching out to. you want to reach back#it's ending is open but there's also only one way it can really go. but you have to want it. you have to choose it#i don't know man. i am normal about metanarratives. you can trust me with metanarratives. come here#anyways i think anyone who likes metanarratives and isat and especially loop isat should read orv right now#We even have a loop of our own. I can't tell you who he is but he has the same brand of issues. time loop trauma. jealousy for another#version of himself who succeeds because they have someone there to help them. gut wrenching loneliness. deeply uncreative names#escaped the time loop & the role of the protagonist but at what cost. They're literally both called sponsors
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Today’s prompt was ‘I’m proud of you’ and I could have written pure fluff. I had planned to write pure fluff. But somehow this happened?
(Warning: a character gets outed against their will so skip this one if you think that’s something which might upset you. Here, have a virtual hug instead <3)
AO3 link
@thunder-pride
All of them have had their fair share of unwanted paparazzi coverage - certain people significantly more so than others – to the point where Gordon joked that it was an official Tracy coming-of-age tradition, earning a horrified look from Alan and a stern lecture from Scott. So, really, this sort of thing shouldn’t have been a surprise. And yet.
It wasn’t even as if Gordon was secretive about his sexuality. It was common knowledge amongst friends and family; he’d just never outright stated it in an interview for public dissection. He flirted with anyone who took his fancy and painted a little flag on his baldric during pride month. So, really, from his perspective, getting outed by the press wasn’t a big deal, because how could he have been outed if he had never been in the closet to begin with?
He was mostly upset on behalf of his poor date who had suddenly faced reporters at his front door and had been forced to disconnect his phone when it rang off the hook for several hours straight. Or, you know, not-so-straight, which was kind of the issue in the first place. Gordon didn’t give a shit what the press thought – or what anyone thought of him save for his family – but he drew the line at them harassing someone he’d come to care for. It wasn’t as if it was even a serious relationship – mostly just casual hook-ups which had led to getting dinner together when Gordon next had some downtime – so the poor guy had definitely not signed up for this.
“It’s none of their goddamn business,” Scott declared, a livewire of pure fury. He was angrier than Gordon himself, ranting about privacy and boundaries and the audacity. Several emails had been sent to a very expensive firm of lawyers and if the reporter who had initially broken the story valued her life, then she should probably start running for the hills and become a recluse for the rest of her life.
“I know,” Gordon repeated for what seemed like the hundredth time.
They were in one of the spare offices up in the Roundhouse and he was lounged upside down on a blue couch. The blood rushing to his head did nothing to cure the faintly queasy sense of discomfort which had accompanied the cold pit in his stomach.
It was like he’d said already – if he’d ever been a closet to begin with then it had been made of frickin’ glass, so he hadn’t technically been outed… So why did he feel so weird about the entire thing? It was sort of violating to have everyone discussing his personal life. The tabloids had been pawing through his entire dating history for the past two days. He sort of wanted to be sick.
“I just…” For the first time, he let a hint of unease creep into his voice. He closed his eyes, sensing Scott’s footsteps come to a halt. “I hate the way they’re talking about this like it’s a dirty secret. It’s who I am. I went on a date with a guy. Big deal. Why are they talking about it as if they caught me drug dealing? And it’s- God, I don’t even know. I don’t care who knows, but I care that they’re spinning the story into this whole reveal. It’s supposed to be my choice, you know? I’m meant to be the one who says, hey, by the way, this is me.”
“It’s not everybody knowing which bothers you, it’s the loss of autonomy.”
“Exactly.”
Gordon felt the couch dip as Scott took a seat beside him. When he opened his eyes, his brother was silhouetted against the sinking sun, dark hair highlighted with gold light, jaw still set with indignation on Gordon’s behalf. For a moment, he looked so much like their father that Gordon lost the ability to breathe. He wondered briefly how Jeff would have dealt with the situation. Probably in much the same way as Scott had – with a bloodthirsty legal team.
“Sit up before you make yourself sick,” Scott instructed him, leaning back against the cushions with a weary sigh. There were dark circles beneath his eyes again, tension keeping his shoulders rigid. He scrubbed his hands down his face, repressing a yawn. He’d been up for over twenty-four hours fending off the press whilst setting their own PR team on the case, despatching TI security to protect the poor, unfortunate date and checking in with Gordon at the same time. He probably didn’t even realise just how grateful his younger brother was for all of it.
“Thanks.”
Scott reached forward, snagged Gordon’s shirt, and hauled him the right way up. “Come again?”
“Just… thanks.” Gordon shrugged, tucking his hands under his thighs to keep from fidgeting. He stared at the sunrays falling across the carpet to avoid meeting Scott’s gaze. “For all of this. I know you’ve always got my back, but you’re, like, genuinely angry on my behalf right now and it’s just… nice. So, thanks. I have got a favour to ask though.”
Scott switched his phone onto silent as it vibrated again. “What type of favour?”
“Let me do an interview. Just one. It’ll be an exclusive scoop, so I want it to be with the right person, which is sort of where you come in because I have no idea how to arrange that. We’ve got an entire team for this kinda thing, right?”
It could have been a trick of the light, but Scott’s smile looked impossibly fond. “I’ll handle it. Penelope has some contacts too.”
“Cool.” Gordon exhaled slowly. His head was spinning slightly, although it was difficult to tell whether that was a result of sitting upside down for so long or a delayed reaction to having his sexuality used as a tabloid headline. “Cool, cool, cool. Also, um… actually, there’s one other thing. We have scholarships, don’t we? Like, there’s one set up in Mom’s name. Is there one in Dad’s? I have a vague memory of that.”
“There’s…” Scott took a moment to steady his voice. “John and I set one up in his name after- Yes, there’s a Jeff Tracy scholarship.” He draped an arm along the back of the couch and let Gordon fall heavily against his side. “You’ve got an idea then, I’m guessing?”
“Maybe.” Gordon lifted his feet onto the edge of the couch and picked at the loose thread in his shorts. His hands were trembling slightly, but he couldn’t figure out why, only knew that he was more grateful for Scott’s presence than he could put into words. “Can we set another one up? For LGBT+ kids? Not in my name, it feels kinda weird doing that while I’m alive. But yeah. Is that a thing we can do?”
Scott lifted his arm from the cushions to pull him closer. “Definitely. It’ll take a few days, but I can get it approved by Friday at the latest.”
He fumbled for his phone, trying to stifle a yawn, and Gordon swatted his wrist.
Scott shot him an offended look. “What was that for?”
“It can wait until morning. We both need a break. You’ve been up the entire night.”
“So have you.”
“Exactly.” Gordon clambered off the couch. “C’mon, let’s grab some food and crash for a few hours. Like, a lot of hours.” He caught Scott’s hands and tried to pull him upright. “Scotty.”
Scott reluctantly slid his phone into his pocket. He was clearly itching to check those unread messages and emails, but for now his younger brother was still his top priority and Gordon was planning to make the most of that for as long as he could. It was rare for him to be able to get Scott to eat a proper meal and actually sleep for once. The same fierce love which had led Scott to verbally tear several people to shreds whilst simultaneously typing out an email with his other hand ran both ways even if the dumbass couldn’t always see that.
Virgil had saved two plates for them, both stashed in the fridge with a note warning Alan not to touch on pain of death. Gordon shoved one in the microwave and propped himself against the counter to wait while Scott sat on a bar stool and tried not to fall asleep. Unusually, they ate in silence – Scott responding to emails and Gordon lost in his own head.
“Hey,” Scott prompted.
Gordon blinked, suddenly realising that his empty plate was gone. He pushed his knuckles against his eyes to rid them of the tired blur. The world seemed very big all of a sudden. People were talking about him – not his achievements but his identity – and it made his skin crawl. He imagined that this was the closest he would ever come to understanding how John felt about social events.
“Gordon,” Scott called softly, rapping his knuckles against his brother’s head. “C’mon, bud. Bedtime. Don’t make me carry you.”
Gordon slid off his perch with a tired laugh. “Carry me? I’m not ten anymore.”
“And?”
“And you wouldn’t let that stop you.”
“Exactly.”
Scott tugged him into a warm hug. Gordon let his head fall against his brother’s shoulder and finally felt the tension leak from his muscles. The world was passing judgement and if he were honest with himself then that was scary as hell, but Scott was still here, defending him from bullies as if they were kids again. He buried his face in Scott’s shoulder and breathed.
“I’m really proud of you,” Scott murmured. “I’m so sorry this happened, but I’m proud of you.”
Gordon lifted his head with a watery smile. “Permission to make a Pride joke?”
Scott gave him a light shove towards the stairs with a laugh. “Go to bed, squid.”
#Is it obvious that i love writing these two?#because i really do#anyway back to writing heart wrenching angst for another fic#i mean uhh what nooo i didn't say that#thunderpride#thunderpride 2023#thunderbirds are go
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Felt gross as hell but then I cried about it and prayed and went for a walk and now I feel better 👍
#selfcare
#this is glib but I forget how much I need to go on my silly little walk#I thought the only purpose was to be outside and I’m outside on the way to work#but actually it’s to have time to think and breathe without doing stuff#and I felt that benefit today#and I said hi to god :-)#and I cried which was lovely#I don’t usually properly cry like ever; but if I listen to sad music I can get myself going and it’s really healing#I’ve had that like choking on sobs cause you cry every time you try to breathe crying twice in my whole life; once when my s/o was leaving#for school again and in the shower the night before they left I cried about it#and the other when I was in residence still a few weeks after I came out of the psychosis and was being eaten alive by guilt and just broke#down with the grief of it#also in the shower. my s/o always cries doing dishes and I always cry in the shower lol#but it was actually so healing to cry that second time; I felt like I really wrenched out some of the sadness with it#anyway. episode ? of anne treats tumblr like her diary#anne speaks#but this post is mainly to remind myself to go for walks and chill more often#but today I need to sleep! that’s my main goal for tonight
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has anyone shown chappell roan what dame maggie smith looked like in oh what a lovely war because she would Eat That Shit Up
#chappell roan#dame maggie smith#oh what a lovely war#the eye shadow the outfit the sass it’s all there#maybe not the seducing men to go to war bit but honestly the whole film is a commentary on the futility of war and that seems about right#it’s also just SO camp#and also really heart wrenching at times tbh#idk my secondary school did a (bad) production when I was 15 and I never stoped listening to the songs#and I’m doing a module in WW1 rn so it’s all coming back#anyway#she’d slay that outfit is all I’m saying#and the red hair is RIGHT THERE
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