#this isn’t sam bashing

[babyjaans]

I’m rewatching supernatural, and I can’t believe I never realised this before, but sam and dean are the exact opposite of what they think of themselves. In the brothers’ eyes Sam is the more emotionally open one, or the one with more empathy, and yet he struggles to make close relationships that aren’t romantic. He keeps everyone at arms distance: john, mary, bobby, cas, and so many other examples throughout the series. Whereas dean is supposed to be closed off and emotionally stunted, and yet he has deeper connections with almost all recurring characters: garth, jody, donna, claire (obviously the ones mentioned before). He lets people in more easily than sam. Even how he knows all the shopkeepers in lebanon, whereas they don’t seem to know sam (ie 14x13).

[soullessjack]

okay last post before I conk out cuz it’s 6am now but like. Why does the fandom ignore Jacks canon anger issues. Like we all saw the scene where he was so enraged by someone’s death that he consciously attempted to strangle Maggie’s assumed killer, roughly threw Cas aside for intervening and couldn’t snap out of it until Dean fired shots into his back and made him aware of his behavior. We all saw that right. Why do you guys keep Steven Universe-ifying him

[buckyalpine]

Pick Me

Bucky x reader 

The new recruit has her eyes set of a certain set of super soldiers. Especially your super soldier. 

warnings: jealously, Angsty bangsty, but also so fluffy fluffy and smutty, clueless Bucky, he really means no harm, go easy on him.

A/n - editing to add: when I first started writing this I loved the concept and wrote a large chunk but then I left it for months cause I struggled to actually finish writing it. This wasn’t even the original ending I had planned but I just wanted to finish it so yes Bucky should’ve done way more, pretend there was a time jump where he does a better job with earning forgiveness 🥲

-

“Everyone, meet Nicole, our newest recruit for the field agent training program” Tony walked into the common room where you were sprawled out on the couch with Nat, Sam and Wanda while a young woman walking confidently behind him. “She’s going to be staying with us for a couple of months to train before she goes onto the the field” Tony turned back to her, bringing her to his side. 

“I’m sure you know everyone but let me introduce you to them anyway. This is the very Natasha, Wanda, Sam and y/n” 

“Hey Nicole” You gave her a warm smile, happy to welcome her while everyone else also got up to greet her. “Nice to meet you” 

“Oh, ew, just call me Nic! I don’t really go by Nicole” She scrunched her face at the sound of her full name, her eyes scanning the room, clearly looking for someone. “Don’t suppose the very Captain America and Sergeant Barnes are here?” 

The hopeful uptick in her voice made it clear that’s who she’d been searching for. Right on cue, the two super soldiers walked into the living room on their way to the kitchen after a morning run. 

“Speak of the devils and I do mean devils” Tony snorted beckoning the men to meet the new recruit. “Rogers, Barnes, this is Nicole, preferably Nic” 

“Hello handsome” She gave Bucky a bashful smile before turning to Steve and batting her lashes, “and handsome” 

“Nice to meet you” Steve reddened at the way she gripped onto his hand before slinking over to the brunette, purposely sticking out her left hand so he’d shake with his metal one. “And you Sergeant” 

Bucky gave her a smile and quick shake, excusing himself to get some water while Steve quickly trailed behind him. Tony went on to take her to her room which was on the same floor as yours, all the other spare rooms occupied by a few others who had already started training. Nicole returned to the living room moments later with sweats and a hoodie, her hair tied up, plopping down onto the sofa beside Sam. 

“Hey, were doing a girls night, movies, junk food, wine, you wanna join us?” Nat offered with a smile hoping to make the new recruit feel more welcome even though a part of her was wary. 

“It’s a lot of fun, I was just about to get some snacks for tonight, let me know what you like” You add with a smile, only to be met with a scoff.

“Mmm, hard pass on that, wine isn’t really my thing, thanks though” She gave the group a tight lipped smile before turning back to the two super soldiers who had also joined at some point, scrolling through phones they finally knew how to use. 

“What are you boys up to tonight” She threw them a smile while laying back on the couch and kicking her feet up, letting her hoodie ride up in the process. 

“Bucky and I were actually just going get in a work out, nothing much tonight” He said with a smile, not noticing the way Nicole’s eyes lit up. 

“Oh wow I actually haven’t been by the gym yet but I guess it’ll be where I spend most of my time for the program” 

“You could join us if you’d like, we can show you around” Bucky offered, also missing the smirk that crossed her face, only seeing her bounce right up with an enthusiastic nod. 

“Really? That would be great, I’d really appreciate it!” 

“Of course, anytime. We’re just about to head down soon” Bucky stretched as he got up, along with Steve, waiting for her to change before heading down. She got up and went off to her room while you picked at the skin on your fingers. You felt a pang of something at the pit of your stomach at Bucky’s offer but you knew he was just trying to make the girl feel like she was part of the team. He knew more about feeling left out than anyone else; of course he’d never want anyone else to feel the same way. 

Still.

Something was off.

You shook off the inkling of insecurity you felt, not wanting to over think his intentions. You and Bucky were not official yet but everyone knew there was tension and a clear unspoken dynamic between you both. It was just a matter of time. Unless he had his sights on the new girl...

No.

He wouldn’t do that. 

Right?

*****

“She’s getting really comfortable around those two” Nat cocked an eyebrow watching Nicole have a field day sparring with the two men, throwing herself onto Bucky in particular, giggling when he’d help correct her stance or catch her before she slipped. Every since she joined them at the gym, she made a point to only work out when they were both there, finding excuses when anyone else would offer to help her train. 

“I guess they are really experienced, so it makes sense...” Your voice trailed off, trying to reason why she was practically glued to their side, again ignoring the uneasiness you felt when Bucky picked her up with ease and set her back on her feet. 

“Uh-huh, we’re all experienced” Nat rolled her eyes, plastering on a fake smile when the three finished up on the sparring mat, making their way over to the both you. “You three have a good workout?” 

Steve blinked, noting the iciness In Nat’s voice though Nicole seemed unbothered. 

“They’re great, can’t beat having the two best soldiers train me” She drawled out, giving them a wink. Bucky couldn’t help the blush that spread to his cheeks, not used to being praised and you couldn’t help the jealously that started to gnaw at you again. 

No.

Relax. 

“Anytime, Nic” He shrugged while Nat retched internally, deciding to cut through that conversation before it went further. 

“You know, if you come by in the afternoons, Agent Hill hosts a great self-defense workshop for women, great way for you to do some networking as well” Nat gauged the way Nicole’s nose scrunched, shaking her head. 

“Women’s workshop, sound’s like a drama fest waiting to happen, honestly most of my friends are guys, makes life easier, thanks though” her eyes didn’t leave the brunette, placing herself perfectly between both soldiers. “Besides, I’m pretty good with self-defense already, that's why I got these two helping me with a little extra” 

“Anyway! Y/n and I were talking about the event Stark is hosting later night. You’re both coming, right?” Nat looked at the two men before her, purposely avoiding the Nicole but it didn’t seem to matter. 

“Are you coming as well?” Bucky asked her, her eyes lighting up again, quickly recomposing herself after. “You could meet a few of the other agents too, get to know some more people” 

“Uh sure, I could come by for a bit” She shrugged, coming off as indifferent while shaking with excitement on the inside. “Thanks, Sarge” 

You sucked in a breath at the name she kept calling him, always dropping a suggestive tone in her voice. Or maybe you were over thinking it. It was perfectly plausible she was just being nice to the person who was making an effort to make her feel welcomed. Maybe she had bad experiences in other places that made her wary of women, hence why she only stuck to all the guys on the team. You tried to wrack you brain for answers that would make you feel a little better but came up short. 

But you didn’t want to be petty. 

You were more mature than this. 

“We have plenty of dresses if you want to come by and get ready together” You offered again, mustering a smile, making a final attempt to befriend the new recruit but she didn’t even look your way, fully focused on the brunette. 

“Uh- not really the dresses and heels type. I’m more of a sneakers girl to be honest” She tossed her pony tail over her shoulder, missing the way Nat’s eyes nearly rolled out of her head while you nodded, watching her sway her hips as she walked off. “I’ll drag myself over if I’m feeling it” 

“Oh-okay, then we’ll just see you there!” You called after her while Nat dragged you off, uninterested in your constant attempts to be friendly. 

“C’mon, lets get you ready. I’m going to make you look so hot, Barnes ends up on his knees” The red head smirked while you squeaked, feeling your face heat up.  “We’re putting you in that red dress, the one that makes his pants feel too tight, don’t think I didn’t catch him adjusting himself the last time you wore it”

“Nat!” You hissed, hoping he didn’t hear, the both of you in a fit of giggles as you made your way to your room. “Oh my god” you hid your face while she dug through your closet, pulling out the tiny dress that hugged your body perfectly, the red color making you stand out in the best way possible. 

“Go shower while I get all the make up out, I’m tired of miss pick me trying to get a buy one get one free deal with those two” 

You snorted, hopping into the shower, letting the hot water destress your muscles, feeling a little more hopeful with the dress choice you were going with. Nat didn’t waste any time; as soon as you were out, your hair was styled, make up done and heels strapped. You knew you looked good when both Sam and Tony did a double take, letting their eyes shamelessly linger on you with low whistles. 

“Y’know if you’re done playing games with terminator, I’d be happy to take his place” Tony wiggled his eyebrows while you giggled, taking a seat on the plush couch of the lounge where everyone else sat. 

“What are you ladies drinking” Steve came over with a tray of drinks from the bar, already well aware of what each person liked to typically order. 

“I’m good with a beer” Nicole shrugged, rolling her eyes when you took the pink drink from the tray, “Ugh, I don’t know how you drink those, they’re so sweet, do you even taste anything at that point?”

You shrugged, quietly taking a sip of the raspberry lemonade while she gulped her beer, signaling for another after slamming her bottle down. 

“You guys took forever to get ready, this is why I can’t deal with makeup and dresses n’shit” she snorted, directing her comment mostly at you, “That’s a pretty bright color, I thought tonight was supposed to be lowkey?” 

“Well I think you ladies look beautiful” Thor boomed, not catching the snark in Nicole's voice, his smile wide and voice completely sincere. “Especially you, Lady y/n” 

“Thank you Thunder” You smiled, though the giddiness you felt initially had taken a second hit for the night. He beamed, setting down a bottle of Asgardian mead, searching for the two soldiers.  

“Alright, where are the two that need this” He looked around for Steve and Bucky, since they couldn’t get drunk off of regular alcohol. Bucky strode in clearly dressed to kill, in all black from head to toe. Steve joined his side, their faces lit up like it was Christmas day seeing the crystal decanter in the God’s hands. Bucky’s eyes flicked back to you, his breath hitching in his throat, seeing you in his favorite dress. 

“Fuck sweets, you look- 

“C’mon Sarge, how about a little competition” Nicole nudged Bucky, cutting off the trance he had on you, her shoulder pressing into his, biting her lip and eyeing the alcohol, “Let’s see how many shots we can do” 

“This might be a lot to handle doll” Bucky chuckled while you froze hearing what he called her. Her eyes lit up again, quickly glancing over to you, her eye brow quirking before leaning into him more. 

Since when did he call anyone else doll. 

You felt your stomach sink, taking another long sip of your drink instead, but nothing distracted you from the banter that was taking place before you. 

“Ugh, finee, I’ll stick to regular vodka, c’mon Buckyyy, lets gooo!” She practically clung off him waiting for him to pour shots, inches away from crawling into his lap as he grabbed the bottles. You couldn’t tell if the flush from his cheeks was from the alcohol or the constant giggles Nicole made whenever he spoke but either way, you didn’t want to watch any longer. 

“Where are you going” Nat grabbed your arm as you got up to leave, though you didn’t need to say anything for her to understand. Her green eyes glared at the tipsy solders who were now busy with a game of pool, surrounded by the rest of the team, Nicole practically crawling up Bucky’s legs each time it was his turn. “For fucks sake-

“They’re just having fun, don’t worry about it”  You stopped Nat before she stormed over, shaking your head. As much as you wanted to red head to have her way with any of the three at this point, you couldn't be bothered. You were not about to fight for Bucky’s attention; if he wanted to give it to you, he would...

Right? 

You thought things would go back to normal at some point. But it didn’t. Nicole made a point of training twice a day, anything to get her hands on the brunette. Anything to feel the cool metal of his hand on her. In fact she’d taken up most of Bucky’s time outside of just training, always finding ways to tag along with Steve as well, all while avoiding the rest of the team.

*****

“What's wrong sweets” Bucky could tell something was on your mind while he stroked your back, his body still warm from the way he took you apart at least 3 times before filling you up till you were dripping and soaking his sheets. He had finally gotten an afternoon off, tossing you over his shoulder when he found you in the kitchen, not letting you get a word in as he shut the door behind him. You wanted to argue back that he couldn’t just have access to you any time he felt like according to his convenience, but as soon as his soft lips were on you, you melted, turning into a moaning mess seconds later. 

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages” You shrugged, toying with the corner of Bucky’s blanket, starting to feel more like you were just a body to warm his bed than someone he actually wanted to be with. “We haven’t really hung out recently” 

You had let yourself relax into his hold only for him to curse under his breath a second later after he noticed the time. He shifted you off him, making his way over to the closet to pull over his jeans and Henley before scrambling around for his wallet and keys. 

“Bucky, what are you-

“Sorry doll, I forgot I promised to take Nicole to the corner diner, showing her around a little bit cause she’ll be staying for a few extra weeks”

Fantastic.

“You spend a lot of time with her” You didn’t want to come off as jealous, keeping your voice even, though you were close to tearing someone's head off. Bucky didn’t seem to notice, humming in agreement while sitting at the edge of the bed to pull on his socks.  

“Yeah, she’s fun!” Bucky said casually, which only made the weight in your stomach feel heavier. “She almost beat Steve in MarioKart, just when he thought he was unstoppable”

“Hm” You didn’t bother saying anything else while Bucky threw on his jacket, patting down himself to be sure he didn’t miss anything. He caught the way your face had fallen, his cool metal fingers slipping under your chin to tilt your face up. 

“How about we hang out after? Around 7, we’ll watch a movie together, okay? I’ll grab dinner for us. Promise doll” He kissed your forehead before jogging off, closing the door behind him.

You were ready by 6, too excited to wait till 7, having showered and changed into something comfy, laying out Bucky’s favorite snacks and adding a few more soft pillows to the bed. You knew it was still early so you didn’t mind lounging around for a bit, anxiously checking the time as it neared closer and closer to when he was supposed to show up. 

An hour later, it was 7. 

Then 7:30. 

And then 8.

By 9, you had left everything as is, blinking back the hot tears that wanted to spill, retreating back to your own room, not wanting to see him at all, even if he did have a good excuse for not showing up, which was highly unlikely. You shut the door, throwing on an oversized t-shirt and crawling into bed, burying yourself under the covers, no longer bothering to hold back the tears that began to soak your pillow. 

****

Bucky cocked his head curiously, seeing his bedroom door left ajar, wondering why it was open when he definitely closed it before leaving. As soon as he stepped in, his heart dropped to his stomach seeing the pillows that were propped up against the headboard, his favorite snacks piled on the fluffy blanket, your fuzzy bunny slippers left behind beside his bed. 

He cursed under his breath when he realized the time, remembering his promise to you, running straight to your room, only to find it closed with the lights turned off. He tried knocking only to be met with silence, carefully turning the handle and letting himself inside. 

“Doll?” He felt his heart break further seeing the small lump under a mountain of blankets, curled up into a ball “Oh, doll” He strode over, sitting at the edge of your bed, careful not to wake you if you were asleep, his hand gently tucking a strand of hair from your face. 

“What” Your voice cracked, hoping he’d think its from sleep and not the fact that you had been crying. 

“I’m so sorry sweets, we lost track of time, we went out to grab food and then Sam suggested we check out that new arcade just down the street” 

We were supposed to do that you thought to yourself, swallowing down the lump in your throat, refusing to let your emotions get the better of you. 

“And then Steve and Sam had to leave half way cause they had a mission early in the morning. Nicole wanted ice cream so we went by Carla’s before coming back-

“You took her to Carla's?” You cut Bucky off, your heart breaking further. That particular ice-cream shop always felt like something special you shared with Bucky, the place he took you to when neither of you could sleep. It was the place you shared your first kiss with him, the place where he said he felt something between the two of you. It’s not like you owned the store but it felt like the final straw, your resolve finally breaking. 

“Yeah, I-

“Just go Bucky” There wasn’t a hint of iciness in your voice; just disappointment and defeat, both far worse than you being angry. Bucky froze, pulling your blanket away from you, only for you to push his hand away, burying yourself further into the sheets. 

“Doll?”

“Don’t call me that” It was the indifference in your voice that left him hurt and confused, mouth opening and closing, “Please leave” 

“Sweets, I can make it up to you, I promise-” 

“It’s fine James” You shrugged, pulling the sheets higher up, not willing to speak anymore, knowing you’d burst into tears again if you did. Bucky reluctantly decided to let you sleep, figuring you’d hear him out the next day but no.

How wrong he was. 

You avoided him in the morning. 

And the day after that. 

Nearly a week had gone by and you didn’t spare him a second glance, always finding an excuse to evade him whenever he trailed behind you. It didn’t help that Nicole attempted to stay glued to his side, not giving him chance to get you alone. 

*****

“What’s with you” Sam watched Bucky slump down onto the sofa, where everyone else lounged around, his face sullen from a lack of sleep, grumpiness amplified because why were you avoiding him so much? 

“Y/n isn’t talking to me” He shrugged, while Nat glared at him. 

“I wonder why” the red head mumbled, rolling her eyes at his confusion. 

“When was the last time you guys spoke” Steve inquired, equally concerned about why you were ignoring his best friend. Bucky was the last person to share stories about his love life but at this point he was desperate. He recalled the events of the last time he spoke to you, promising a movie night, going out with Nicole, taking her for ice cream, running late, apologizing to you afterwards, where did he go wrong? 

“I didn’t mean to forget- 

“Bucky!” Nat slapped him upside the head while he yelped, looking at her with puppy eyes. 

“What did I do?”

“Barnes, you absolute doorknob, you took her to all the spots you take y/n to, you’ve been spending all your time making little miss I’m one of the guys feel comfortable, you’ve made y/n seem invisible and you’re wondering why she’s not talking to you?” Bucky blinked while Nat continued, her annoyance only growing when she saw a message from Nicole pop up on Bucky’s phone. 

“You treat Nicole like your girlfriend. Imagine some new guy joins us, makes a point of eye fucking y/n the entire time, finding ways to constantly flirt with her and touch her, you’d be fine with it? Imagine he avoids hanging out with the guys but makes all the time in the world to chase after anything with breasts. On top of that, how would you feel if y/n went out of her way to make said guy feel more welcomed when he clearly just wants to get into her pants. You’d be fine with it?!”

Bucky shook his head, though still not fully understanding because Nicole was just a friend, not someone he’d even be into. Plus, its not like she was into him like that, right? 

“But Nicole doesn’t want to-” Bucky started, shutting his mouth when Nat nearly hissed, staring at him while he did the mental math, “Nicole wants to get into my pants?” Bucky looked at Nat wide eyes, ducking the cushion she was about to whack at his face, all the pieces finally clicking together. He groaned, running a hand over his face, realization hitting him like a ton of bricks. Just as Sam and Steve were about to hum in agreement with Nat, she glared at them, their eyes growing wide.

“And you” Nat turned to glare at Steve, his shoulders slumping when he realized he wasn’t in the clear. He squeaked when Nat pulled his ear, giving it a squeeze, “What were you thinking. You didn’t once think it was weird she only trained with you two? Haven’t any of you noticed Nicole doesn’t hang out with any of us, Just you?” Nat waved her hand at the men that sat before her, their dumb stuck faces only adding to her annoyance. “Idiots” 

As much as Bucky wanted to hit his head onto a brick wall, he didn’t have time to waste, immediately springing up from the couch to look for you. He checked everywhere he could but you were nowhere to be found. He was so desperate, he found himself shuffling outside of Tony’s lab, hoping FRIDAY would give him your location. 

“You’re asking for a lot Barnes, y/n might add my name to the hit list if I tell you where she is” 

“Please” Bucky was ready to beg on his knees while the billionaire huffed, watching the former assassin look like a lovesick puppy. He cocked an eyebrow, noting the glassiness of Bucky’s eyes on his desperate face, nodding before calling for FRIDAY to look for you. “Also, I need another favor...” 

****

“Y/n, babygirl” He’d never felt such relief before, seeing you make your way to your room, coming back from your hiding spot from the roof, the scowl on your face clearly showing you weren’t trying to talk to anyone one your way over. 

“Oh, I’m babygirl now? Has doll now been reserved for Nicole” You couldn’t hold back the sneer in your voice, walking away faster, ignoring his calls. 

“Baby, please!”

No. 

“Baby, wait!” Bucky chased after you, not willing to let another day go by without you knowing exactly how he felt. He managed to get hold of your hand, gently tugging you towards his chest and spinning you till your back was against the wall, his chest nearly pressed to you. “Please, I-I need to talk to you, tell you how I feel” 

“There’s nothing to talk about”

“Yes there is” His voice was earnest, baby blues searching your downcast eyes, his finger tilting your chin up to look at him, “There’s so much to talk about, I adore you” 

“Do you also adore Nic?” You scoffed, while Bucky’s cheeks warmed with embarrassment, the pink spreading up to his ears.

“There’s no Nic or Nicole, theres just a y/n, my y/n, only you doll” You rolled your eyes at his response, trying to move away but Bucky wasn’t having any of it, keeping you pressed against him, “I’m sorry darling, I didn’t realize what she was doing or get her intentions. I thought she just wanted to get to know the team better”

“Wow” you huffed under your breath, wishing you had the space to flick the super soldiers forehead. 

“I know, I’m an idiot, and I’m an even bigger idiot for not making it clear I’m so utterly and desperately in love with you” Bucky bit his lip as soon as the words left his mouth, he’d said everything under the sun except those words before. But they were true and he’d kept it inside long enough. “I love you, I love you, fuck, I love you”

You squeaked in surprise when he scooped you up in his arms, tossing you over his shoulder, walking over to his bedroom, smiling when he felt your small fists hitting his back, your butt wiggling to be put back down. 

“Barnes, put me down, you can’t just say you love me and then carry me away like a complete ogre!” He set you down, kicking the door shut behind him before wrapping his arms around you tightly again, falling more in love with your irritated pouty face. 

“I love you sweet girl. God, I’m so in love with you”

“You’re an absolute idiot”

“An idiot who is in love” 

“You’re so cheesy” You willed yourself not to smile, ignoring the butterflies that fluttered at his words and love struck eyes. “you’re still a dick”

“I know. M’sorry angel, I didn’t realize what I was doing, I never wanted to hurt you. I should’ve known something was up when all she wanted to do was train 24/7 but I guess I misunderstood her intentions cause I didn’t see her as anything else. I’ve only ever had eyes for you baby, you have my heart. You always will” 

“Where is she right now anyway?” You melted into his chest, closing your eyes at the feeling of his lips pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Isn’t she supposed to be leaving soon?” Bucky didn’t respond, his hands starting to wander your body instead, slipping up your shirt, rubbing soft circles on your hips. Without warning, he picked you up again, tossing you on the bed and pouncing on you, peppering your face with kisses. 

“Bucky what are you doing” You giggled feeling his beard tickle your skin as he started to trail kisses down your neck. 

“I may have requested Tony to have her stay an extra night” Your face twisted in confusion at his words but the devious look on his face made your tummy flutter. 

“And he happily agreed because...”

“Because...?”

“I want her to hear how good I can make the girl I picked feel” Bucky smirked as he crawled off you, stripping his clothes off before tearing yours off immeitedly after. “M’not gonna waste another second, gotta let the whole compound know who my best girl is” 

****

“OH G-GOD J-JAMES FUUCCCKKK” 

“That’s it pretty princess, that’s it, cum on my dick baby, my good girl, fuck you’re so good to me, look at that, God you’re soaked baby”

“Jesus Christ” Nicole huffed, no longer able to ignore the moans coming from Bucky’s room while the rest of the team pretended to be none the wiser, your loud love making carrying all the way down the hall. Bucky happily disabled the sound proofing in his room before pushing his cock in as deep as it would go, railing you into the mattress. 

“Baby you look so pretty when you’re all stretched out like this, c’mon you can take more, spread those legs for me baby, open up, c’mon, lemme in” 

“HNG PleasepleasepleaseJames” 

“So perfect when you beg, cock’s all yours mama, m’all yours, go on and use me, that’s it, ride this dick, you own me” 

“Bucky, gonna-c-cum, gonna-cum!”

“Cum for me princess, God I love you” 

“You want a snack?”

“Nick?”

“Uh-Nicole?”

“Huh?” Nicole whipped her head around to where Steve was innocently holding out the bowl of popcorn, while Sam stood up to grab more snacks before the movie started. She stared at everyone surrounding her acting as if they couldn’t hear the way you were screaming your vocal chords raw, the super soldier moaning louder than you, “N-no, I’m fine”

Tony cocked an eyebrow at the way her jaw clenched, mindlessly scrolling through her phone while Bucky’s thrusts punctuated with each word. 

“Y’feel so. Damn. Good. baby, could spent my whole life like this making love to you” 

“Fuck, I love you James” 

“Ugh- they’re so loud” Nicole rolled her eyes again in hopes that someone would feel the same but all she got were blank stares back. 

“I mean, terminator is practically in love with her” Tony shrugged while the others nodded in agreement.

“They’re cute. It’s about time they made it official, don’t you think?” Nat asked sweetly staring directly at her while Steve tried to chime in as well, his cheeks burning hot pink between the sounds of skin slapping and moaning. 

“They sound so happy together” he stuttered out while Sam snorted, choking from laughter. 

“Oh God, oh god, fuck-Jamie-JAMIE” 

“Yup, real happy”

“I-I think I’m actually gonna call it at early night, stay at the recruiting center tonight instead” Nicole headed straight to the main doors without looking back, the rest of the team giving each other satisfied smirks. 

Bucky collapsed beside you, panting, his short locks clinging to his forehead, a thin sheet of sweat covering his body. He truthfully stopped caring about what Nicole could or couldn't hear half way through, meaning every single word he said as he took you apart over and over again. You giggled at his shy smile when he pulled you into his chest, pulling the sheets over you both, kissing your forehead. 

“I love you pretty girl. I love you so much” 

[purifiedclitoris69]

blushes nd giggles

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

The night had settled into a calm hum, the party now a quiet gathering with only the Avengers and a few close friends left lingering in the tower. Natasha, a good four and a half bottles in, was blissfully tipsy—relaxed in a way few ever saw her. She’d spent most of the night with Yelena, laughing over old stories and basking in the rare chance to truly appreciate one another. But more than that, Natasha found herself quietly appreciating you.

Nat and Yelena were still perched at the bar, sipping on martinis and cracking jokes that had you both giggling like mischievous kids. Across the room, Natasha had her eyes locked on you, though her expression betrayed just how soft her gaze had become. She hadn’t been able to stop watching you all night—you looked so perfect and even more perfect in your now perfectly disheveled party attire, your shirt untucked, tie loosened, and hair tousled in a way that felt criminally charming. Just so perfect she thought. You were sprawled across the love sack in the common room, looking too comfortable for your own good, beer bottle in hand, your entire posture radiating a relaxed, effortless confidence.

Natasha’s fingers absently toyed with her glass as she stared. For all her experience as a spy, the warmth of her cheeks was a dead giveaway to her sister.

“Hellooo,” Yelena waved a hand in front of Natasha’s face, amused. “Did you hear Stark, or have you gone deaf staring at y/l/n”

“Shut up,” Natasha muttered, swatting Yelena’s hand away, though her lips curled into a bashful smile. The redness in her cheeks deepened as she stood, her balance ever so slightly wobbly as she made her way across the room.

Your eyes caught her the moment she started moving, and a slow, boyish grin spread across your face. It wasn’t just her presence that made your expression light up; it was her—tipsy, loose, and smiling in a way that was so rare you felt almost protective of it.

“hello my love,” you greeted lowly, though the playful charm in your voice softened into something fond as you gazed up at her. “Can I help you?”

Natasha didn’t answer right away. She plopped herself into your lap without so much as a warning, but instead of her usual confidence, a quiet giggle escaped her lips as her arms slipped around your neck. The sound was soft, unguarded, and entirely uncharacteristic, which only made you chuckle under your breath.

“baby, this isn’t really discreet,” you teased, your voice low enough that only she could hear. You had only been seeing each other casually not really labeled but exclusive. She only giggled in response burying her face in your neck as she wrapped her arms around you, playing with your hair at the back of your neck “your drunk,” you let out a laugh.

“Shut up,” she mumbled, though her nose scrunched slightly as her giggles continued. “Don’t ruin the moment.”

You raised an eyebrow, unable to resist the grin tugging at your lips. “You’re in my lap, Natasha Romanoff, and you’re giggling. I think the moment’s already ruined.”

She swatted your chest lightly, her face flushing as she buried it against your shoulder. “I hate you,” she muttered, though the content sigh that followed told you otherwise.

Across the room, the rest of the team looked on in various states of shock. Tony had frozen mid-sentence, his glass of whiskey halfway to his mouth as he stared.

“Wait a second,” Sam finally broke the silence, his brow furrowed in disbelief. “That’s happening? Since when?”

Bucky let out a low whistle, shaking his head in amazement. “I don’t know whether to be impressed or terrified.”

“They’re…blushing,” Steve said, his tone as bewildered as it was amused.

“my sister doesn’t blush,” Yelena deadpanned, though her smirk suggested otherwise.

As if to prove them all wrong, Natasha lifted her head from your shoulder just long enough to look at you, her green eyes glassy with affection and her cheeks still flushed pink. “You’re too pretty,” she murmured, her voice soft enough that it was meant only for you, though the proximity meant Yelena caught every word and promptly burst into laughter, preparing to never let nat live this down.

You chuckled again, “And you’re terrible at keeping a secret.”

Natasha’s cheeks burned even redder as she ducked her head again, her laughter muffled against your neck. For two people with such intimidating reputations—her as the legendary Black Widow and you as the former Hydra super soldier turned sharp-tongued Avenger—your mutual giggling and whispered words felt entirely out of character. But maybe that’s why it worked.

The team couldn’t stop staring. It wasn’t just the shock of seeing Natasha so vulnerable, or you so utterly captivated by her. It was the way you both looked at each other—like the rest of the room didn’t exist.

“Okay, I’m calling it,” Tony announced, raising his glass in mock defeat. “This is officially the strangest thing I’ve seen all year.”

“And the most wholesome,” Steve added, though his smile betrayed that he wasn’t as surprised as the others.

“Don’t get used to it,” Natasha called over her shoulder, though the warmth in her tone was impossible to ignore. She turned her attention back to you, her lips brushing against your ear as she whispered, “They’re staring.”

“Let them,” you replied simply, your hands resting on her waist. “You’re mine, anyway.”

The flush that bloomed across Natasha’s face in response was enough to leave the entire room in stunned silence.

[godmadeaterribleerror]

Chapter 5 - If You Let Me

Series Masterlist - Main Masterlist

Author's Note: Welcome back Sam Winchester I’m sorry about your girlfriend are you ready to suffer for thousands of words as these two idiots dance around each other?

Chapter title from when the party's over by Billie Eilish

Word Count: 16.7k

Chapter Summary/Warnings: Dean calls you for a case, you grapple with your growing power, and Sam has questions. Usual warnings.

Tags: Dean Winchester/Female Reader, enemies to friends to lovers, canon divergence, slow burn, angst, fluff, monster of the week.

Chapter 4 - Chapter 6

Read on A03!

No matter what happens, Dean can never be allowed to know how fast you’re driving. Especially because every single traffic violation you commit is in his name. In the hope of seeing him just ten minutes sooner.

In your defense, you haven’t seen him in person in almost three months. You’d gone on a hunt together, parted with the usual smile and awkward high five, and then he’d just stopped asking to you hunt with him. He hasn’t left, hasn’t vanished, and he’s been the one calling you to talk, but he just doesn’t even mention hunts anymore. You just don’t see him. And over those four months of missing him—and shoving that aching, whining feeling deep, deep down where it couldn’t feed into the White’s vast desire—he’s started to sound… off.

“Did you know that people could curse animals?”

“Yeah,” you’d said, glancing down the hall to make sure Bobby was still gone, and not about to barge in and catch you talking to Dean. “I think you can curse most anything. I’ve heard of like, babies being cursed.”

“That’s creepy, Princess.”

“I didn’t curse them-“ You’d cut yourself off with a frown. “Did you and John run into a cursed animal?”

“Uh. No?”

You’d raised your brows. “Why are you asking me, I wasn’t there.”

“No, I’m just- It’s complicated. I’ll tell you later. How did that hunt in Montana go?”

“Oh, super fucking easy.” And it had been. You may have destroyed a fire hydrant when the chimera chased after you—unable to contain or aim the Darkness like you could when you were with Dean—and almost bashed your head against the wall from the sickness crawling over your head and setting it on fire when you returned to the motel, but you’d been done in a day. And you’d been lonely—hollow and long and vastly lonely—but Dean didn’t need to know that. “What’s complicated?”

He’d sighed into the speaker. “I said I’d tell you later-“

“Are you safe?”

There had been a long pause of static noise. You’d been about to check if the call dropped—Bobby didn’t really get great reception—when Dean spoke again. His voice had sounded soft.

It had been worrying.

“I’m alright,” he’d whispered your name, and your grip on the phone had tightened. “It’s- There’s a lot going on right now.”

You’d frowned into the air, the White making a pathetic noise like it could convince you to take a car and just go. Go to Dean—you didn’t even know where he was—and try to help him with whatever was a lot, when you’d probably end up making it worse. You always made things worse.

You might have also destroyed a tree. And a mailbox. And a good part of the road.

Dean clears his throat, his tone almost nervous through the speaker. “Where are you?”

“Me?”

He'd chuckled. “Yeah, unless there’s someone else on the phone I should know about-“

“Shut up.” You’d rolled your eyes, sitting up in your seat as an engine sounded outside. “Shit.”

“Where’s Shit-“

“No, that’s not- Sorry, Dean, I have to go-“

“Why?” Through the phone, you hadn’t been able to tell if that was his worried voice or angry voice. “Are you-“

“I’m alright, I just-“

“Where the hell are you-“

“I’m home, in South-“ You’d cut yourself off with an internal grimace. Fucking Dean and his way of making you accidentally say too much of the truth all the time, even over the phone. “Park.”

“Isn’t that a TV show?”

Shit. Dean mostly watches children’s cartoons, daytime soap operas in motels, and really old movies. You hadn’t expected him to know that.

“No?”

“Why are you asking me-“

“Shut up. I really have to go-“

“Alright, alright, just, if you’re not busy, we’re near Pittsburgh. We could use your help.”

You’d frowned, taking careful steps up to your room, praying that Bobby wouldn’t immediately start looking for you when he got inside. “I don’t think John would want my help-“

“Not Dad.” Dean had sighed, and you could picture him running his hand over his face. “Sammy.”

You’d frozen, the door not fully closed. “Your brother? He’s done with college?”

“Yeah. I mean, no. Kind of. It’s-“

“Don’t say complicated.”

“Uh,” he’d paused. “Complicated.”

“Dean-“

“I couldn’t think of another word! What the hell else-“

“Messy? Confusing? Complex?”

“You know Princess, you’re really annoying-“

You’d scoffed. “That’s no way to talk your very good friend and possible savior. Message me where to meet you.”

“So you’re coming?”

“Yeah.” You’d grinned into the air, keeping an ear on the door as Bobby shuffled around downstairs. “I want to meet your brother.”

Dean had groaned. “You know, you’ve met him before-“

“Doesn’t count. I want to actually talk to him this time.”

“Fucking- Fine, but no funny business, or asking him stupid questions.”

You’d hummed. “No.”

He’d snapped your name into the phone, right as Bobby had called it from downstairs, and you really did have to go. 

“See you soon, Deano.”

You’d hung up, and barely a second later Bobby had knocked on your door.

“Hey,” he’d grunted you name, and you were pretty sure he hadn’t heard anything. “You in there?”

“Yeah, wait-“ You’d checked your hand and glanced in the mirror—no bite marks or scratches, the only evidence of your pain living inside where Bobby couldn’t see it—and opened the door with your best nothing’s wrong smile. “Welcome home, old man.”

Bobby had scoffed, scanned over you with narrowed eyes, and then met your gaze with a small, tight smile. “Ain’t I the one who’s supposed to- shit-“

You’d wrapped him in a tight hug, squeezing him and letting out the long breath you always held when you left. It was an oath you kept trying to keep for yourself, that you’d always come back home because you had to let out that breath. That the highways were long, and the nights were lonely, and the Darkness kept building and building inside you—sinking deeper and deeper into the White until there was always some part of you that strained and screamed from the pain of trying to pry them apart—but you had a home to come back to, and one person who’d never call you a burden.

Because you’ve grown sicker. You only grow sicker. You only destroy more and more things, and the Darkness only slips away from you with more ease, but Bobby doesn’t give up on you. 

The demons began, and they won’t stop coming, but Bobby doesn’t give up on you. 

Dozens of demons, more and more every month, ever since that one demon you’d killed for Dean. You don’t know why. You don’t know what beacon lit up inside of you, what’s calling every single fucking demon in America to come and find you wherever you went, but they are. They do.

It's been random. Gas stations and grocery stores, on random hunts and waiting for you near your car. It’s worse when you’re alone. When the Darkness and the pain get overwhelming to the point that you’re barely you anymore, and you end up curled in a bathtub, breathing heavy through your nose. Your clothing in a pile of the floor because it aches to touch something as sick as you, the whole room disgustingly clean because you can feel the grime itch and rot at your skin, your rings on the sink because the pain of the iron sears over your ribs and organs.

And then you’ll force yourself up to go get some coffee, and the barista will have something black and malevolent and glinting writhing inside of Her.

They almost never attack. It’s more terrifying, because you’ll feel an overwhelming sense of wrong, and you’ll yank everything down with a bite on your inner cheek, and there will be the demon.

Just watching you. Smiling at you, following you for a day, and then vanishing when you skip town.

Then there’s him. He’s the worst of them all. He’s more like fog, burning and glinting inside his vessel’s body. He’s yellow like sulfur or acid, and keeps appearing when you turn a corner. Passing you in the street and nodding at you in a bar, like he knows you.

He never approaches. He never attacks. He just watches, like you’re a specimen. Everything that’s wrong inside of you is worse inside of him. Potent. Eroding.

Terrifying.

And Bobby knows. Not about the yellow demon, or how the whole thing started, but that you don’t really sleep anymore because you’re afraid the night will take form and go for your throat. That you’re on more and more hunts because it’s distracting from how the Darkness always strangles the White when you’re static and useless. That all the pain has gotten far worse over these past few months. 

Although he does think that’s unexplainable. He doesn’t know it’s because you’re always alone when you’re gone, and the only reminder of Dean is his voice on your phone and his knife in your jacket. 

But Bobby still doesn’t give up on you. He made you create a plan for when the Darkness—inevitably, although neither of you would say it aloud—takes over and you aren’t able to drag yourself down in time. He still tells you to just come home and stay there every single day. And if Bobby was going to give up on you, he would have long ago. He wouldn’t return your hug with a long sigh and mutter your name like you were something important to him, instead of a leech. 

“Welcome back, kiddo.” He’d grunted, and when he pulled back and gave you another firm look, you knew he was checking for damage one last time. “Chimera go down easy?”

You’d flinched, the beast’s shrieks of pain still echoing around your head, and Bobby had frowned.

“You have another-“

“Yeah.” You’d whispered. “Big one.” 

Bobby had sighed, rubbing his jaw as he gave you an assessing look. “Anythin’ unfixable?”

You’d shaken your head. “I would’ve called you, but I wasn’t that far, and I’d finished the hunt anyway.” 

Bobby had opened his mouth, worry painted on his features, but you’d known what he was going to ask. It was the same fear that haunted you. 

“Nobody saw me.”

He’d nodded, letting out a long sigh. “Alright, but you’re gonna need to be more careful. Our luck ain’t gonna last forever, and when someone does get wind-“

“I’ll call you, then Rufus, throw all my phones off a bridge and abandon whatever car I was driving. Go one town over from wherever I am and lock down until either you or Rufus comes to get me.” You’d given Bobby a soft smile. “I know the drill. I helped you make it.”

Bobby had rolled his eyes. “Cool it, smartass. How long are you stayin’ this time?”

You’d given him an apologetic, tight-lipped smile. “Dinner?”

“That’s it?”

“I’ve got another hunt.” You’d mumbled, and Bobby had frowned.

“You need a rest,” Bobby had grunted your name, and you’d swallowed. “Ya’ look like shit.”

“Hey-“

“I ain’t gonna lie to you. When the hell was the last time you slept a whole night?”

You couldn’t remember. 

But you really wanted to go see Dean. You missed him. You missed laughing and talking to him, and you were worried about him. And you couldn’t tell Bobby that, because then you’d have to tell Bobby that you’ve actually been hunting with Dean for about two years when he’d specifically told you not to.

“A few days ago.” You’d shrugged, twisting a ring on your finger. “I’ll be okay, and I can come right back after this one.”

Bobby had sighed. “Where would you be headin’.”

“Pennsylvania.” 

“And you’re stickin’ around for dinner.”

You’d nodded, and Bobby hadn’t pushed further. You’d eat dinner with him, spoken about anything that didn’t make him look concerned and your whole body only pain, and climbed into the car with another silent promise to come back.

And you were holding your breath again. But this was a three-person hunt. A three-person hunt with Dean. 

You’d be fine.

He’s sent you to one of the usual, generic strip motels. Crowded lot, beige paint, cracked sidewalks, and stiff, square bushes lining the building. You’ve barely stepped out onto the pavement when a door slams, and there he is. Bags under his eyes weren’t there last time you saw him, a small bruise on his cheek that seems about a week old, but still grinning. Still impossibly handsome, still making the White buck and hum and ease into the Darkness, still not yours to ask for.

And really happy to see you. You’ve seen Dean’s fake smile.

This one is real.

He shouts your name, and you’re long past trying to fight your own smile at the sound of him saying it. At the sight of him jogging towards you, nothing but genuine joy on his face that you’re here.

And then he hugs you, and you’re not sure this isn’t a dream. Dean never hugs you anywhere but in your dreams. In real life he always grins at you and shoves his hands into his pockets, the most contact he offers being a nudge of your shoulder with his, or a drag of your body away from danger. But this is a hug. This is his arms wrapped around your shoulders, his body pressed right up to yours, and it’s so quick that you don’t have a chance to really return it before he’s gone.

Dean’s eyes are wide on yours as he steps back, and there’s more red near his ears than usual. His hands go in his pockets, you stand a little taller, and both of you stare at each other for a long, strange second before you find your voice.

“Hi.”

“Uh,” Dean clears his throat, glancing over his shoulder before looking back to you. “Hey. Good to see you.”

“Yeah, you too.” You wrap your arms around your body, and suddenly there’s a ghost of a strong, warm body pressed to yours. Dean had hugged you, and it was far worse than just his hand. It had branded on something deeper under your skin, sinking down into the White, bleeding into the Darkness until everything was silver, and you were a little dizzy.

And you’re just staring at each other. You want to hug Dean again. He’d been warm and tangible, and he’d touched you on purpose and it had sent lighting through your blood and up your spine, and you can’t tell if your skin is prickling from the silence or the need to just go touch him-

“Dean!” A loud, annoyed voice cuts through the air, and you look over Dean’s shoulder to see a tall, shaggy-haired man walking out of the motel. “You left the fucking door open, dude, you can’t just-“

The man stops, blinking at you, and you offer him a small smile. That’s Sam. He’s somehow taller, and his face isn’t babyish and innocent anymore, but you recognize him. 

And he seems to recognize you, because his words are slow, and his gaze never leaves yours.

“Dean?”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Don’t start, Sammy, I closed the door-“

“No, you didn’t. But that’s not what I-“ Sam glares at Dean, gesturing to you. “Is she your contact?” 

“No, she’s my hooker- fuck-“

You whack Dean’s arm, and Sam’s eyes widen.

“I am not a hooker-“

“Obviously, Princess, hookers are supposed to be nice-“

“I’m nice!”

Dean gives you a flat look. “You just freakin’ hit me!”

“Because you called me a hooker, Winchester.” You wrinkle your nose at him, crossing your arms. “And, just so we’re clear, if I was a hooker, you wouldn’t be able to afford me.”

Dean’s jaw twitches slightly, and you frown, because he’s not sparring back. He’s supposed to spar back. The strange, hanging tension from the hug is gone—he probably hadn’t even felt it deep in his body like you had, he’d probably just been awkward because you’d been too dazed from his contact to hug him back—so Dean’s supposed to make a joke about working out another form of payment, and wiggle his brows at you in a way he doesn’t know always makes you fall a little further into him. Makes your skin warm and the world technicolor. 

But he’s just looking at you, and there’s something taut flashing behind his eyes. You open your mouth to apologize—to ask what you'd said, because you know you’re bad at understanding the line, yet Dean always seems okay crossing it with you—but Sam clears his throat, and Dean turns away.

The White aches. You don’t have time to indulge it.

“So she is the contact.” Sam raises his brows, and Dean scowls at him.

“Obviously.” He mutters, and when he looks back to you the taut thing seems fainter. Buried down where you’re not sure you’re supposed to see it.

But you do. And it taints those fractured pieces through your body. Makes them wither and balk, because you struck something in Dean again, and you don’t ever really know how to stop.

Dean says your name, offering you a smaller smile than before. It’s still real. You’ll have to cling to the fact that it’s still real. “This my brother, Sammy-“

“Sam. It’s Sam.”

Dean shrugs. “Sure, whatever-“

“No, not whatever.” Sam frowns. “It’s bad enough you won’t stop calling me Sammy, I don’t need everyone we meet-“

“You two have actually met before-“

“Yeah, I remember. And Dad said that-“

Dean shoots Sam a sharp look, Sam snaps his mouth shut, and everything start to get too big as the Darkness vaults up to the surface. John had said something about you. He wasn’t here, but he’d told Sam and Dean something, and Sam didn’t look all that happy to see you. He wasn’t turning any weapons on you, but he and Dean were exchanging a silent conversation, and you were caving in as the world expanded. You could feel the bite of the wind on the trees, and the thirst of the yellowing grass around you, and fuck, you could taste bile in your throat because the Darkness was starting to rot in your stomach as you forced it down-

Sam says your name, and you almost don’t hear it over the ringing in your ears. “Is she good-“

“Yeah, shit- just-“ Dean places one hand on your shoulder, waving the other in your face. “Hey, Princess, come back down-“

He’s close. His hand is solid on your body. He smells like grass and spice. 

His thumb has moved to the bridge of your nose, stroking a slow line that moves the Darkness back into the cavity of your chest. Makes everything clear, even as the pain lingers. 

You let out a long breath, offering Dean a small smile. “Thank you.”

Something flashes in his eyes, and your breath is heavy in your lungs. Every time this happens, you worry he’ll snap. That he’ll demand more answers than you can offer, and his it’s probably just a girl thing will come to a crashing end as he puts together that it’s a you thing. And just you isn’t worthy of him wasting time on.

But this one doesn’t seem to be it. Dean’s lips press in a small pout, and he scans over your face, but he doesn’t push. 

“You good?”

“I’m fine,” you shrug him off, making your voice as casual as possible. “Just a long drive. It’s nice to meet you, Sam. Again.”

“Yeah, you too.” Sam offers you a tight-lipped smile. “Dean said you could help us out with this?”

You nod. “Well, he didn’t say what this is, but-“

Sam cuts you off with a groan, shooting Dean a frown. “Dude, you didn’t tell her the details of the case?”

“C’mon, it’s not my job to be a freakin’ database or whatever-“

“You still need to tell her what the case is, Dean, what if she can’t help-“

“I can help.” You snap, and Sam sighs.

“Look, I’m not doubting you, but this one is really complicated-“

“Good.” You raise your chin up, holding Sam’s gaze. “That’s my specialty.”

Dean clears his throat, looking between you and Sam with a weary expression. “It is, Sammy. She’ll get this. And you know we need the extra hands.”

Sam sighs, shaking his head. “Okay, fine. But you’re the one who’s explaining the case, Dean. You were supposed to anyway.”

Dean rolls his eyes at you as Sam turns around, and suddenly it’s all clear and bright again. You don’t know how he does that, how he stitches everything inside you together when it starts to rip. You need to figure it out and bottle it up. Learn how to use it on command, because this might be a long case. Sam doesn’t seem to want you here, or like you all that much, and John told them something. They haven’t killed you, but John told them something. And Dean might be strangely willing to just dismiss your episodes, but you catch Sam’s odd look as you walk into their motel room. He seems a bit sharper than Dean, a little more on edge, a little more guarded and cautious.

So you need to be careful. You need to keep it the fuck together, by yourself.

And you’re a little worried that’s not possible.

Dean gestures for you to sit in a creaking, wooden chair—Sam watching you both from across a round table—and claps his hands together as he begins.

“Alright, we’ve got five dead ladies. Three in their twenties, one in her thirties, and one hag-“

You raise your brows at him. “Hag?”

“Yeah, she was like a million. Wrinkly. Right, Sammy?”

Sam shrugs. “I would’ve just said old, man.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Fine, old. Point is, different ages. Different races too, and jobs, and social circles. We’ve been investigating for about a week, even broke into the vic's houses and went through their rooms. No connection between the vics outside of all being chicks, no deep dark secret, fucking nothing.”

You frown at him. “Like the mall.”

“Kind of, yeah, but these ladies are all going down the same way.” Dean points to his head. “Bashed in brains.”

“Gross.” You mutter, running a hand through your hair as you think. “Where are they dying?”

“Same office building.” Sam slides some papers across the table. “Different floors, though. Four of the vics were employees, but one was just visiting her boyfriend.”

You nod slowly, scanning over the files. “And why isn’t it a ghost?”

“Because we figured out who the ghost should be.” Dean leans over you, tapping another one of the files. You can feel the heat from his body, and it makes your gut warm. You need to get it the fuck together. “Maggie Robins. Got her brains bashed in by her husband, Joey, in his office after she found out he’d been cheating on her with her best friend. Son of a bitch offed himself and the mistress right after.”

“Yikes.”

“Oh yeah. But here’s the fucked part-“

“Maggie’s body was cremated.” Sam jumps in, and Dean glares at him. “And all primary possessions were auctioned off by the police. We triple checked the whole office building, and were only a few things left in Joey’s office, for evidence, but nothing that important.”

You raise your brows. “What are we constituting as important?” “Personal valuables.” Sam says, frowning at you. “All that was left were some pens, generic wall art, and makeup-“ “Perfume.” Dean corrects, and Sam nods.

“Yeah, perfume-“ He pauses, turning to Dean with a dry, amused look. “Why’d you remember perfume?”

“I’m observant.” Dean snaps, looking down to you with a shrug. “It was perfume, Princess.”

“Yeah, I’ll make a note.” You smile at him, Dean smiles back, and when you glance back to Sam his expression is strained. Unreadable.

You’ll have to worry about that later.

“So,” you sift through the papers, tearing slightly at the corners. “Not a ghost. Have there been other signs?”

“Flickering lights,” Dean drops into the last chair, watching you with a gaze that seems to sear into your bones. “Few people said they’ve heard moans and screams when no one was there, and a janitor told us he’s been wiping up ghost blood, but-“

“Oh, okay. It’s an onryo.” 

You lean back in your chair, crossing your arms, and Sam and Dean exchange surprised look.

“It’s a…” Sam blinks at you. “It’s a what?”

“Onryo.” You shrug, tucking your knees into your chest. “Japanese vengeance ghost, born from a really violent death that was emotionally charged, often because of a betrayal.”

“Shit.” Dean mutters. “Betrayal like your husband fucking your best friend.”

“Exactly.” You grin at him, and you could swear he puffs his chest out as he grins back.

“I told you she’d get it, Sammy-“

“Yeah, you’re a genius.” Sam’s voice is dry as he pulls the papers back across the table, his attention on you still weary. “You’re sure?”

“Positive. Did the janitor tell you he kept finding blood in random places, and it would vanish when he tried to clean it?”

Dean nods, you give Sam a pointed look, and Sam sighs.

“Fine. If it’s an onryo, how are we supposed to kill it?”

You hum, tilting your head at the air. “There should be a special kind of exorcism, but I’ve never actually done one before.”

Sam frowns. “Then how do you know-“

“My dad dealt with an onryo once.” You shrug. “And I’ve read a lot about them.”

Something flashes in Sam’s eyes, he tenses in his seat, and it makes your hold on the Darkness go slack.

He doesn’t trust you. 

Maybe he can see everything that’s wrong with you. Dean may have grown blind to it, but Sam hasn’t, and he might be able to see the rotting sickness that covers your whole body. He might not want you anywhere near him, or his brother. He doesn’t seem like John—from what Dean’s told you about him, Sam doesn’t even seem to like his father all that much—but you can’t shake the wired strain that Sam Winchester just doesn’t trust you.

“Your dad.” Sam’s voice is cautious, his eyes narrowed. “The hunter.”

You’re not sure why he says hunter like that. Like it’s a bomb that’s set to go off. 

“Yeah. The hunter.” You glance at Dean, who’s rigid in his seat, glowering at Sam. “Are you guys good?”

“We’re fine.” Dean snaps, and Sam gives him an odd, tight look.

“Dean-“

“We’re good, Sammy.” Dean turns back to you, and you’re really not sure what’s happening. No guns are pressed to your brow, but there’s a heated, brittle wire hanging over all your heads, and the Darkness is starting to slip through your fingers. Not breaching out—not as you dig your nails into your skin, and bite through your cheek—but brimming right on the surface. On an edge. 

Waiting for a snap.

It doesn’t come. Dean gives you a winning grin and Sam keeps frowning between you both, but nothing snaps. Not when Sam double-checks how sure you are it’s an onryo, and you say you’d bet a lot on it, because you would. Not when Dean suggests you all go figure out exactly what the onryo ritual is, and you and Sam look at him like he’s sprouted a second head. Not when Dean insists you all drive together, and you both try to protest—almost certainly for different reasons—but ultimately lose to Dean’s dramatic saving the trees and team spirit speech.

“Still no gun, Princess?” Dean hangs over your shoulder as you sort through your bag, and you shoot him a glare.

“Is the knife no longer good enough for you?”

“No.” He shrugs. “Not when you’ve been hunting alone.”

“Because you’ve been busy.” You raise your brows at him, and he sighs.

“Yeah, I know, it’s… Complex.”

Your lips twitch slightly. “Good job.”

“Shut up.” He rolls his eyes, but the air feels a little lighter, and the White is blending into the Darkness because it’s only you and Dean.

But it’s not only you and Dean. And Sam doesn’t seem to want you here. And it’s complex.

“You don’t have to explain it to me,” you mutter, tucking your knife into your jacket. “And I did my job, I’m sure you can do the rest without me.”

“Do you want us to do the rest without you?”

You turn to fully face him, and he looks guarded. Standing a little too tall, his hands seeming to be fisted in his jacket, watching you wearily. Like you might lash out, or explode.

Something’s really off with him. He hasn’t looked at you like that in years. 

He hasn’t looked at you like that since you last saw him with John.

“I don’t have anything else to do.” You mumble, watching him carefully. “And I’m already here.”

“Awesome.” Dean’s shoulders relax slightly, and he nods his head away from your car, deeper into the parking lot. “C’mon.”

You sigh. “I really can drive myself-“

“Nope. We’re sticking together.” His hand finds your back, and all you can do is let him guide you forwards. “You’ve gotta meet my car, Princess.”

“I have met your car-“

“Doesn’t count. You’re actually gonna ride in her this time.”

Dean’s grin is shit-eating. You’re not sure if you want to punch or kiss him.

“Shut up.”

“Nah.” Dean stops in the center of the lot, saying your name with a smirk. “Meet Baby.”

The Impala looks the exact same as before, save for a sour-faced, taller Sam Winchester sitting in shotgun, glaring between you and Dean. He scowls the whole time Dean walks you to the back bench, and refuses to look at you when Dean closes the door.

You clear your throat, watching Dean move around the hood of the car. “Hi, Sam.”

He grunts, and you sigh, slipping off your shoes.

“It’s good to see you.” You try again, because silence with Dean is like soft music, but silence like this is suffocating. “You look, uh-“

“Taller.” Sam grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. “Yeah, I know-“

“I was going to say good.” You mumble, hugging your knees to your chest. “Not like a kid anymore.”

Sam’s eyes shoot to yours in the rearview mirror, you offer him a small smile, and his mouth opens right as Dean drops into the driver’s seat.

“Hey,” Dean turns in his seat, snapping your name. “No shoes on my car.”

You roll your eyes, gesturing to your feet. “I’m not wearing shoes.” 

“Oh.” He blinks between you and your socks. “Good.”

“I’m not an idiot, Winchester. And I’d rather not be murdered because I messed with the only lady in your life-“

“Shut up.” Dean rolls his eyes, turning back to start the engine, and right before he adjusts the mirror you catch Sam glancing you at again, a small frown on his face.

“You guys were gone for a while.” Sam says, mostly looking at Dean. “How long can it take to grab a gun?”

Dean scoffs. “Wouldn’t know, Sammy. Her majesty doesn’t hunt with guns.”

“Doesn’t hunt with-“ Sam blinks at you, his face painted in disbelief. “You don’t use a gun?”

You sigh. “No.”

“What do you use?”

You open your jacket to show him your knife, and Sam raises his brows.

“That’s it? I mean, how do you kill anything-“

“With talent.” Dean mutters, and you don’t appreciate how accurate his impression of you sounds. “I’d never use one anyway-“

“I wouldn’t use it. And someone,” You punch the back of Dean’s seat, and he huffs. “Has a lot of unwelcome options about that-“

“Because it’s stupid.” He grumbles, and you roll your eyes.

“You know, for someone who’s so annoyed about me not having a gun, you sure did buy me a knife.” 

You can hear the scowl in Dean’s voice. “You wouldn’t have taken a gun. You barely took the knife.“ 

“I could still throw it out-“ 

“Nope. You pinky promised.” 

You smirk as Dean sits up slightly—hearing his own words—and Sam gives him an incredulous look. 

“You pinky promised?

“It’s- She was being annoying-“

“He had to admit he was worried about me.” You tell Sam, leaning forward in your seat with a grin. “And that he thinks Charlie’s Angelsis the best movie ever made.” 

“I- I do not fucking think that-“ 

You giggle, rolling your eyes at Sam, who’s looking at you like you just fell from space. “He’s still in denial.” 

“I am not-“ 

“It’s okay, Deano.” You pat his shoulder, and he shoots you a glare that doesn’t really reach his eyes. “We all still think you’re very tough.” 

The words leave your mouth, Dean rolls his eyes and grumbles about not even knowing why he called you, and some sort of dam seems to break in Sam. All of his cautious, pricking hostility vanishes into thin air, and he twists to fully look at you with an open expression.

In that moment, he does look more like the kid you met in the motel. Curious and not quite in awe of you, but something close. Something similar. 

“Dean said you were at home before this?”

You run your thumb over your palm, tilting your head at Sam as you try to work out how much you can say. “Yeah, I was just stopping there after I finished up a chimera hunt.”

Sam’s eyes widen. “A- Those are real?”

“Tragically, yeah.”

Dean raises his brows at you in the mirror. “Tragically?”

“They’re mean.” You shrug. “And shit a lot.”

Sam makes a face, but doesn’t turn away. “Had you hunted one before that?”

“No, I think they’re pretty rare outside of like, Greece-“

“But you killed this one, right?”

You nod, and Sam looks like he’s going to fall out of his seat. You’re not really sure what’s happening.

“How?”

“Um…” You twist a ring on your finger as your voice trails off, because you’d killed the chimera with the Darkness. Let it rush out of your body and infect everything around you, until the chimera exploded in a disgusting rain of blood. But you can’t really say that, so you go with how you’d planned to kill the chimera. “I impaled it.”

“Like in the myth?”

“Exactly like in the myth.” You grin at Sam, and you’ve never seen someone so big look seven years old. “Bellerophon.”

“Bless you.” Dean mutters, and Sam gives his brother a look of exasperated disappointment. 

“No, dude, Bellerophon is the slayer of the Chimera in Greek mythology. He impales it in the mouth, using the Pegasus.”

“I don’t need to know why impaling worked-“

“Because of the angle.” You offer, ignoring Dean’s glare in the mirror. “It melts the spear with its fire-breath, and then it suffocates.”

“Yeah, that’s cool, but I still don’t-“

“What did you do with the body?” Sam interrupts, leaning forward to keep talking to you, and Dean seems to be pouting at the road.

Dean ends up pouting for most of the day, because after you lie about how you’d disposed of the chimera—once again employing the very useful tactic of what you’d meant to do—Sam starts to ask about other things you’ve hunted, and how you’d killed them, and what you’ve learned about monsters overall. It lasts from the car and into the library, through almost the entirety of your research, and Dean barely gets a word in, only sulking over a book as Sam shares their own hunts. You decide not to comment on it when Sam says curses can’t be broken, because you’re positive that’s not true but you can’t say why, and answer all of Sam’s questions about alternative ways to deal with various spirits and monsters.

You’re shocked he remembered you telling John that.

You’re baffed as to why he’s suddenly treating you like a friend to catch up with, instead of whatever he’d thought you were before. You’re not really sure want to know what he thought of you before. Not when it’s suddenly changed to something far better.

“You’re afraid of flying?” You raise your brows at Dean, and he scowls. 

“I don’t trust it.” He mutters, turning a page so aggressively you’re worried he’ll tear it. “It’s high, and loud, and pointless. People belong on the ground.”

You hum. “What about boats?”

Dean shoots you a glare, you just grin at him, and his lips twitch slightly. You won.

“We dealt with a guy on a boat too.” Sam looks up from his own book, a slight frown on his face. “But that was kind of a bummer. Did you know spirits could possess water?”

You did know that. A powerful enough, angry enough spirit can possess most anything. But you only nod, because you’re mostly looking at Dean. Sunken into his chair, still pouting, glaring at his book like it’s just insulted his car. You’ve never seen him act like this—silent, barely offering a comment or glance up at you and Sam, mostly pretending to read and fidgeting with his pen—and it makes the White spin and whine.

“Hey, De.”

You nudge his calf under the table, and he looks up at you with a frown.

“I’m hungry.”

“We passed a cafe on the way in,” Sam offers, and Dean raises his brows at you.

“You heard him.” He looks back to his book. “Go eat.”

You frown at him, even as the White bucks around inside of you. He’s not moving, or asking for food, or making fun of you for asking permission to go eat. Something’s off. Something’s been off, and you don’t know how to fix it—you don’t know how to fix anything—but you can’t stand how Dean’s silence is eating at your throat and lungs. You’re really going need to learn how to control his effect on you.

But not right now. 

“Do you want anything?”

Dean glances up at you again, something odd flashing in his eyes. “Me?”

“Yeah, you, dumbass-“

“Get me a burger.”

You give him a flat look. “It’s a cafe.”

“Whatever. Just figure something out.”

He still doesn’t move, or stop frowning. The moment you cheer him up, you’re going to kill him.

“Winchester.”

He grunts your name, and you glare at him as you continue.

“Where’s the cafe.”

“I dunno, ask Sammy.”

“Down the street.” Sam’s eyes bounce between you and Dean, a small frown on his face. “Just go straight, then to the left.”

You nod, giving Sam a thankful smile. “You want anything?”

Sam shakes his head, and you look back to Dean.

“Dean.”

That gets his full attention, and it seems to burn right into your body.

“I’m going by myself.” You rise to your feet, giving him a challenging look. “And I’m not good at directions. I might end up at the grocery store, and come back with carrots.” 

Dean narrows his eyes at you, but Sam just shrugs. 

“Actually, carrots sound-“

“C’mon, Princess.” Dean cuts off a surprised Sam with short words, pushing his chair back. “You’re paying.” 

Sam calls after you that he’ll call you if he finds anything, but you don’t really hear him. Not as Dean lowers his voice and leans down to your ear. His breath is warm. You might fall over.

“You’re really determined to get me to eat, sweetheart. Should I be worried?”

You hum. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dean Winchester.”

He clicks his tongue, and he’s grinning again. You won again. “Full name. What did I do?”

“Sulk like a baby for an hour?” You raise your brows at him, and he’s a lot closer than you thought. You can count all his freckles. They’re kind of like stars. 

You can feel his breath on your face when he laughs. It’s warm, and smells like coffee and mint.

His body is like a furnace, and it’s melting everything to silver inside of you.

You’re losing your mind. 

“I can still kick you out of this hunt, you know.” He drawls, and you shrug, trying not to think about how Dean’s hand on your back shifts with the movement.

“Good luck with that.”

“It’s my hunt-“

“It’s your and Sam’s hunt.” You correct. “I think I’d have his vote to stay.”

“You would.” Dean lets out a dry chuckle, and you don’t even realize you’d made it to the cafe until Dean’s suddenly stops walking, and you’re waiting in a short line. “Fucking nerds.”

“That’s rude.” You shove his arm, and everything feels color when he laughs, and it’s real. There’s still something tight and coiled in his eyes as you make it to the counter and order, but he’s not slumping anymore, so you’re going to push it.

You’re going to ask what the hell is happening. Why he hasn’t been hunting with you, why Sam’s back, where John is, and why he’s been so strange. You turn your drink between your hands as Dean grabs the food—frowning at his empty seat and rehearsing your question in your head—and the moment he sits down you-

“Dad’s missing.” 

You blink at him. “What?”

“Our dad.” Dean mutters, sliding your food across the table. “He’s missing. And not just one of those longer hunts, we’ve been looking for months and he’s… Just gone.”

“Shit.” You mutter, pieces sliding together in your brain as Dean’s words sink in. “Where have you checked?”

“His last case. And we got activity on his phone, but…” He trails off with a shake of his head, not fully meeting your eyes. “We can’t fucking find him, and Sammy’s- He’s not doing well.”

You nod, and wait for Dean to continue. If you say something, you might say the wrong thing, because you don’t give a fuck if John Winchester is missing or dead or just on a bender. You’re breathing a little easier just from the knowledge that you can be here, and it won’t end in a bullet through your brain.

But Dean gives a fuck about John. And you—despite your best judgement and all rational reason—give a fuck about Dean. You give a fuck that he’s been so off because his dad’s missing, that there seems to be something a little heavier in his eyes and on his shoulders than the last time you saw him, that you can almost taste his bitter, taut worry for Sam. 

You give a fuck that he’s telling you at all. That whatever he sees when he looks at you, it’s bright enough that he’d trust you with anything at all.

So you’ll bite your tongue, and let him keep going when he’s ready.

Dean draws in another long breath. “You can’t tell Sam I told you this.” He mutters. “I- We’ve barely talked about it, and he doesn’t know you, and it’s really fucking complicated-“

“Dean.” 

His eyes meet yours, and the guarded expression is back. It’s not your job to break through it. It’s not your job to do anything for Dean, but you want to. His tension seems to be moving into your body and making your muscles and organs sore, the Darkness is twisting and coiling in your body to find something to break. Churning until you let it flood out, pushing at the White in a way that makes you feel a little sick. 

You might as well find something to break for Dean, while he’s still here. While he hasn’t left, and everything feels big in a way that’s not suffocating and crushing.

“I won’t tell Sam.” You say, holding his gaze as you lean forward, raising your pinky. “Promise.”

Dean swallows, but takes your pinky and shakes it. “His girlfriend died. The same way our mom did, too, right after we lost the trail on Dad.”

“Your mom-“

“Burned on the ceiling.” Dean mutters. “We don’t know what did it, but Dad’s been hunting the son of a bitch since it happened, and then he vanishes, and it happens again? Right fucking after? That’s-“

“Not a coincidence.” You finish—letting out a long, slow breath—and Dean nods.

“Never a coincidence.”

You hum, frowning into the air as your head starts to kick into a high gear. This is just another case. Just another problem to solve that might call to you, a piece of the Darkness you could use. You can help with this. You can fix something. Dean’s isn’t guarded anymore—only sitting a little taller than usual, watching you carefully—and he’s still here. Dean’s still here, and he trusts you, and those fractured pieces in you are starting to stretch towards each other again. Bleeding through the Darkness in vibrant color as Dean holds your gaze, and you can help. 

If Dean wants your help. If he’d want you. 

The thought makes the White flash and sing. You need to keep it together.

“Is Sam okay?” You ask, your voice soft, and Dean sighs, rubbing his face.

“He’s not sleeping well. Thinks I haven’t noticed, but we share a damn room every night.”

You nod slowly. “Are you okay?”

Dean blinks at you, a small frown on his face. “Me?”

“Yeah, who else could I be asking-“

“I-“ Dean shakes his head, tapping his knuckles on the table. “I’m fine, Princess. Dad’s gonna turn up, and he’ll have a good reason for going off. Maybe he found what killed Mom, and he’s just waiting to grab us for help. Then we’ll get back to normal.”

You narrow your eyes. You don’t believe him. He’s still off, and the weight on him suddenly seems bigger now that you know where it’s coming from. But you’ve barely opened your mouth to push him when the little cafe doorbell rings, and Sam calls your name.

“I got it!” He stops at the side of your table, looking between you and Dean with a wide grin. “It’s called a harae, ritual purification. We just need to build a shrine and learn the words.”

You take the book Sam passes into your hands, scanning over the pages as Dean gives Sam a pat on the back.

“Nice one, Sammy. Once we gank this bitch, we’ll get you nice treat as a reward for good work-“

“Fuck off, jerk.“ Sam shoves Dean’s arm away in your periphery, and Dean just laughs.

“Hey, Dean?” You look up with a frown, turning the book for him to read. 

He doesn’t. He just says your name and stares at you, and it’s not really helpful. “What’s up?”

“You guys did interviews, right?”

He nods. “I did a lot while Sam was looking at the office. Looked at all the vics and our suspects.” He frowns. “I lost rock, paper, scissors.”

Sam laugh. “Again.”

“Shut up, bitch-“

“You’re the one who lost, Dean, it’s not my fault you suck-“

“I do not suck, you just play fucking mind games-“

“Winchester. Pay attention.” You give him a stern glare and kick under the table, and he scowls at you.

“Sammy started it-“

“I don’t care.” You tap the book, pushing it closer to him. “If you did the interviews, I need you to write down a list of things people said about our onryo, and get some stuff for the shrine. It will work better if it’s in closer relation to who Maggie Robins was in life.”

“Why do I have to do it-“

“Apparently because you suck at rock, paper, scissors.” You shrug, looking up to Sam. “We can go back to the motel, learn the ritual, and hopefully kill this thing by tonight.”

It takes another five minutes to get Dean to agree, and he’s still scowling when he drops you and Sam back at the motel, but it’s not heavy anymore. He’s not silent either, grumbling the whole way about being saddled with freakin’ shopping duty, and shouting that he better not come back to find that you and Sam threw a party while he was gone. 

Then it’s just you and Sam. Alone. Speaking chopped and stilted Japanese, giving each other odd looks as you adjust to the shift.

It’s not hard to be alone with Sam. He’s nice, easy to talk to, and doesn’t seem to have nearly as much fun pushing your button as Dean does. But it’s still strange. He keeps giving you odd looks and opening his mouth with a small frown, but shaking his head and shutting it. Your brain keeps spinning around what Dean told you, and how the Darkness seems... Off with Sam. His presence doesn’t blend it into Silver like Dean’s does, and it’s not volatile like with a monster or spirit, but it’s not normal. It’s turning and humming and beating into the White, like Sam is setting it off.

And you don’t even know what it is.

You excuse yourself to the bathroom when it starts to get overwhelming. When the Darkness starts to leak and your breathing has to be shallow to control it. Sam asks if you’re alright, and you just wave him off and lock the door behind you. Sinking onto the cold floor with your fingers squeezing at your throat, trying to drag it back down by force. It’s not enough. Whatever is happening is only feeding the Darkness, and it’s not dangerous but it could be. One wrong word, one accidental push, and you’d lose control in a second. You can feel lingering warmth of the sheets on Sam and Dean’s beds, and the ache of the creaking bathroom door, and the grime of tiles, sick and itching and all over your skin-

You bite down on the back of your hand, and everything falls back into you. You’re alright. You got through it. You always get through it. You’ll get through this hunt—rising to your feet and rubbing your face, checking in the mirror that no pain is visible—and you’ll help Dean, and everything will be alright. Maybe if you figure out what killed their mom, John won’t try to kill you when they find him. Maybe they won’t find him. Maybe you’ll be safe, and Dean could stick around for you, just for you because you’d helped him, helped his brother, and done it without breaking anything or losing control. Maybe you’d be able to tell him what’s wrong with you, and you’d have been good enough—done a good enough thing—that he wouldn’t call you a monster.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine.” You give Sam a small smile, twisting a ring on your finger as you walk back to the table. “Just had some sketchy road food yesterday. Happens to the best of us.”

Sam nods, and you think he bought it. Most people usually buy it. Even Bobby isn’t great at picking up your lies, because you’re careful and deliberate and practiced, and every lie you tell is purposeful and vital. A barrier to the horrid truth of how you’re always a little cancerous. 

You’re pretty sure the only person who sees past it is Dean. And that’s just another thing you’ve given up on hating him for.

“Do you know when Dean will be back?” You ask, because you can’t help yourself. You made the critical error of thinking of him, and suddenly the White is desperate for him to be close once more, and you’re too tired to fight it. 

“I dunno, probably soon.” Sam shakes his head, giving you another odd look. “Do you guys hunt together a lot?”

You hum, pulling another book from Sam’s stack. “Usually, yeah.”

“Usually?”

“We haven’t been on a hunt since October.” You shrug, and when glance up, Sam’s still staring at you.

“Has he been… Talking to you?”

“Yeah, uh, we call about once a week.”

“Dean calls you?”

You nod, frowning slightly. “That’s what I said, yeah.”

“Huh.” Sam’s looking at you like he did in the car. Like you’re an alien, or weird plant. It’s not hateful, and it doesn’t make the Darkness riot in defense, but it’s… unnerving. “How long have you guys been talking, again?”

“Uh,” you tilt your head, your brow furrowing slightly. “A little over two years?”

Sam makes a slight face. “Cool.”

It doesn’t sound cool. It sounds like Sam’s as confused as you are, which is unfair because you don’t even know what you’re confused about. All Sam should know is that Dean left you once, years passed, and now you’re friends. 

But maybe Sam knows why Dean left you. And he could tell you, and it could either mend all those shattered pieces lining your body in a single moment, or snap you entirely. At least if it snaps you this will be over. You won’t have to deal with the circling question of does Dean feel this too. Is he looking at you like that because he feels this. Is he still here—despite you being irrevocably you all the fucking time, despite John obviously hatred of you and what you are—because he feels this too.

“Hey, Sam-“

“Something’s not making-“ Sam’s eyes widen slightly as you speak over each other, and he raises his hands in an apologetic gesture. “Sorry, you first-“

“No,” you shake your head, keeping your desperate question lodged like a stone in your throat. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s not a big thing, just that it’s kind of strange that the onryo is going after only women.” Sam frowns at his book. “Everything I’ve found says they should either kill just about anyone in their path, or just target reminders of the person who wronged them. And with the whole cheating thing I’d imagine it would be men and women, not-“

“Just women.” You reach a hand out, and Sam passes you his book. “You’re right. If you’re sure it’s Maggie-“

“We’re sure.” Sam says, leaning back in his chair. “She had her brains bashed in exactly like all the vics. And the husband, actually.”

You pause. “And the husband?”

Sam nods, grimacing slightly. “The crime scene photos were really gross.”

“And…” You glance at the case files, still scattered on the table. “How did the mistress die?”

“Gunshot. The cops worked out that Maggie got her brains bashed by Joey, Joey shot his mistress-“

“What was the mistress’s name?”

“Uh, Becca. But-“

“And she was Maggie’s best friend?”

Sam nods, his brows drawing together as he starts to play catch up. “I think so, yeah. Dean said all the families were shocked that, uh, Becca would betray Maggie like that.”

You let out a long sigh, running a hand through your hair and giving Sam a disbelieving look. “Jesus fucking Christ, men are idiots.”

“Hey-“

“I’m back!” Dean bursts through the door, several plastic bags in hand. “Got all the shit, Princess. Looks like this Maggie chick even used the same-“

You hold up a hand, and Dean falls silent. “Sam, tell Dean what you just told me.”

“Uh,” Sam glances at Dean, who’s dropped down on the edge of his bed with a frown. “Becca-“

“Who the hell is Becca-“

“The mistress, dumb dumb.” You give Dean a glare, jerking your head at Sam. “Listen.”

Dean raises his hands in surrender, and Sam keeps going.

“Becca and Maggie were best friends, and you told me all the families were shocked about what happened.”

Dean nods. “Yeah, they all kept going on about how close those chicks were. Maggie’s mom said that Becca would stay with her when the husband was out of town on business.”

You roll your eyes. “Oh my god.”

“You got something you wanna say, sweetheart?“

“Not that you’ll want to hear, Deano.” You wrinkle your nose at him, even as a little bit of guilt eats at your throat. He’s gonna be pissed. “We need to start the ritual over.”

Dean blinks at you. “What.”

“Maggie isn’t the onryo.” You sigh, leaning back in your seat. “Joey is.”

Sam’s mouth falls open. “Fuck. That- It explains the targeting.”

“Yep.” You give him a tight smile. “And people don’t just bash their own brains in. Joey probably did kill Maggie, but then Becca killed Joey before shooting herself.”

Dean shakes his head, an adorable look of confusion on his face. “Why the hell would the douchebag get offed by his own mistress-“

“Because she wasn’t his mistress.” You say, and Dean just stares at you, his lips in a small pout that you want to bite.

“Huh?”

You exchange a look with Sam—who’s very poorly covering his snicker with a hand—and look back to Dean with a sigh. “Lesbians, Winchester. The mistress was the wife’s, not the husband’s.” 

“The- oh.” Dean goes red, scratching the back of his neck and looking anywhere but you. “Awesome. Good for them.”

You shrug. “I mean, they are both dead. But yeah, awesome.”

“For them.” Sam adds, letting out a long breath. “Not us. You’re right, we’re going to have scratch everything and work out how to do the ritual for Joey.”

“Fine.” Dean groans, kicking one of his bags. “But there’s no way in hell you’re making me do all those interviews again, Princess.“

You sigh, scratching at your fingers. “Sam, if you do the interviews, I can work out the MO to see if we can lure the onyro out, and Dean can make the ritual stick.”

Sam nods, looking back to a book, and Dean gapes at you.

“Ritual what?”

“Stick.”

“It’s a shaker made of paper.” Sam explains. “For the harae. It’ll be easy, dude.”

“And.” You give Dean a pointed look. “It’s either that or the interviews.”

Dean scowls, but relents with a grumble, and you grin at him.

“Great. We’ll have to wait for morning to do this, so, uh…” You trail off, frowning at your car out the window. You had really thought you’d be done by midnight. You can’t afford a motel room right now, and you don’t think Sam and Dean won’t notice you sleeping in your car. Bobby’s car. One of Bobby’s junkyard cars, which was in no way suitable for sleeping in. 

Dean says your name, and you turn your head on instinct alone. “You got a room?”

“Uh, no.” You glance back to your car. You can just drive it away, to a different lot, and make do. You know how to make do. “But I’ll find one, it’s fine-“

Sam shrugs, barely looking up from his book. “Just stay here.”

Heat rushes to your face, and you freeze in your chair. “What?”

“You can bunk with us, we’ve got the space.”

You can’t look at Dean. You and Dean don’t share a room. You don’t know why he doesn't offer, but you know why you haven’t, and at this point it’s an unspoken rule.

But Dean’s not shutting Sam down, and the White has started to burst and glow at the idea of it. Of being closer.

You cannot share a room with Dean. It will destroy this. It will give you the opportunity to ruin your friendship with him, give you another place to fall further into him, provide another opportunity for the White to pull you closer and closer, down, down, down into Dean. 

“No, no it’s okay, I’m sure somewhere has a room-“

Dean cuts you off, and you’re going to go insane. “You can take my bed.” 

“It’s- it’s really fine-“

“No,” He says your name casually—like your brain and heart aren’t exploding—and pushes up off his mattress. “You’re doing us a solid, we can put you up. And I’ve shared with Sam before. I can deal with his Sasquatch starfishing.”

Sam glares up from his book. “I do not starfish-“

“But you are a Sasquatch?” 

Dean smirks at Sam, Sam flips him off, and the conversation seems to be over. Sam’s still reading. Dean’s kicking the bag and grumbling about stupid rituals.

But you’re frozen.Time isn’t really flowing, and the world isn’t really moving, because you have to talk your way out of this. You have to figure out what you can say so you can leave, without Sam and Dean being gentlemen and insisting you stay, or asking questions about why you’re so frantic to be anywhere but here.

And you’re not. Every single fiber of your existence wants to stay in this room, where it’s warm and demons might not find you. Your body wants to rest in Dean’s bed, because it will probably smell like grass and spice and Dean. Your fucking tongue keeps trying to move against your will, to suggest you and Dean just share a bed. 

And you’re strong enough to hold yourself back from that, but not from the rest of it. Not from the high that rushes through you when you give in, mumble that you’ll go get your bags from the car, and Dean insists on walking with you. You can’t stop your laugh from echoing through the parking lot at his stupid jokes, or the Darkness from moving out of you in a way that’s not painful. In a way where you can feel how calm the grass is in the quickly sinking twilight, or how soothing the gentle wind is to the tree branches.

Dean guides you back inside, and you stumble. Just a normal, boring trip over your own feet that Dean saves you from, catching you with firm hands and a laugh. 

He’s real, and he’s not gone. The streetlight over his head is casting a gold glow over his skin and hair, and everything about him seems fake—still far too pretty, made of gold but warm under your touch—but he’s real.

And he smiles at you. And that light flickers.

And you’re so fucked.

——————

Dean needed to get a grip. He needed to stop being a freaking creep, and act like a normal person.

He couldn’t. And he wasn’t going to figure out how to in one night. But he needed to, because there was no goddamn way She hadn’t cast some sort of spell on him, and not a chance in hell he was going to make it through the night without acting like She wasn’t only a few quick steps away.

She couldn’t be doing this on purpose. She’d have to be a demon or something, sent to torture Dean with Her… everything. To make him sit at the table while She showered just a room over—if Sam had given him one more amused look, Dean would’ve punched his lights out—and then come out of the bathroom with steam and light surrounding Her, like a beautiful, tempting nightmare. She’d grabbed a little, colorful bag—given Dean a smile because she must hate him—and vanished back into the bathroom.

She’d come out a little while later with soft, almost glowing skin and shiny hair Dean had wanted to touch. She’d passed him on her way to bed, and smelled like sugar and fruit.

The whole room had been surrounded with that fucking fruit smell. Dean had been losing his goddamn mind. 

He’d ended up flat one his back, staring at the ceiling through most of the night, something tight and hot lodged in his throat and gut. Sammy was fine to share a bed with, but Dean wanted to be across the room.

With Her. Holding Her like they were real people, smelling her hair like a goddamn creep and talking to her in the dark. 

Dean really just wanted to be with Her in the dark. To wrap around Her and keep her against him, where She wouldn’t have one of those weird freak outs he’d slowly learned to handle, where no strange, haunting monsters would find Her and take her away.

He didn’t want Her to go away. It was getting fucking crippling, how Dean wanted Her around all the time. How he was so fucking selfish and empty that, since Jessica, he’d started to spiral into thoughts of Her finding out what a mess his life was, and leaving him alone. Of taking all Her blinding, silver light that Dean was more than happy to follow down into the dark, and turn it somewhere else. That he’d been given a chance to see the universe in brilliant eyes, and now it would be ripped away from him.

Worse, he had nightmares that She was on the ceiling. And he’d tried to dismiss them as stress—Dad was missing, Sam was on edge, and Dean was fucking exhausted, so stress seemed reasonable—but they’d persisted. Which was crazy. Jess had been Sam’s girl. He’d had her, and lost her. Mom had been Dad’s, and that was why Dad had become Dad after her death. 

Dean had never had Her. He’d held Her hand once, and kissed Her forehead twice. She wasn’t Dean’s to fear for, or protect, or imagine pressed against him in the dark. She wasn’t Dean’s to keep near him, wasn’t Dean’s to fantasize about, wasn’t Dean’s to want. To get anxious about introducing to his family, because they were all born and made in the mud and She seemed to be created from starlight. He’d never even meet Her family, because she still wouldn’t tell Dean the damn truth about them.

He still didn’t know how to be furious about that in a way that stuck. How to not care when Her eyes went glassy, when She looked small and lost. How to not feel alive when She smiled, and orbit around Her when her world was more colorful than his.

And Sam liking Her had made that worse. Made it more real. Sam liking Her meant Dean wasn’t going insane. It meant that Dad might have simply been wrong, and She wasn’t just an illusion, and that if She left it would just be because Dean wasn’t worth her time.

But She hadn’t left. He’d told Her about Dad and Jessica and Mom, and then watched her shuffle around their motel room in the morning with an adorable, sleepy face. He’d watched Her in Baby’s passenger seat—Sam taking her car for the interviews—and had to force his hand to stay on the wheel and not Her thigh. 

He was looking at Her, across the diner table and poking at Her breakfast with a fork. He wasn’t sure how She managed to look so beautiful all the goddamn time, even when her lips were still swollen from sleep and her eyes were a little glazed from exhaustion. How Her voice always sounded like a song that echoed through Dean’s body, spurring something a little to the right of his heart and making him do almost anything she asked.

Like making a that stupid stick while She wrote on a paper napkin, that adorable furrow in Her brow.

“Sam should be back soon.” She mumbled, crossing something out on Her list. “Are you almost-“

Dean placed the stick over Her napkin, grinning at Her when she looked up. “Done.”

She gave the stick a once over, sighed, and went back to Her napkin without a word.

Dean frowned, leaning over to try and read Her scrawling. “Can you read that?”

“I’m writing it.”

“That’s not an answer, sweetheart.”

She glanced up, Dean winked, and She rolled her eyes.

“Shut up.”

Dean just hummed, leaning at little further forward. “So that’s a no?”

“I’ll stab you.”

“Damn, Princess, I thought you liked me-“

He cut himself off with a grunt as She kicked his shin, and She was flushing. It was the best color Dean had ever seen.

“I can like you and stab you.” She muttered. “I’d stitch it up after.”

Dean wanted to ask how much She liked him. If She like liked him. If She breathed easier when he was there and felt peaceful when he was by her side. If his voice haunted Her dreams.

He shrugged the urge off, and pushed on.

“You stab me, I’m asking Sammy to fix it. You don’t have good bedside manner.”

“Or you’re just a terrible patient.”

Dean gasped—making his most dramatically wounded face—and when She looked back up, she giggled.

“You’re such a fucking idiot.”

He smirked, nodding in agreement, and Her words didn’t hurt him. People had called Dean an idiot before, and it had always stuck on his skin and coated over his chest. But She said it like it was endearment. As if the softer tone lining Her voice could be affection. For Dean.

She was looking back down to the napkin. Dean needed Her to look at him. To either help Her with what she was doing, or listen to her giggle again. Nothing was ever complicated when She was smiling and giggling at Dean.

“What’s it say?” Dean tried to grab the napkin, and She snatched it away with a glower.

“Hey-“

“C’mon, you’ve been losing your mind over that for like an hour, I could help-“

“So ask like a big boy, Winchester. Say please.”

Dean held Her gaze, grabbed Her wrist, and smirked as she flushed.

“Please, Princess.” He squeezed Her wrist, and he could’ve sworn She leaned into him. “Tell me what’s on your dumb napkin.”

“It’s not dumb.” She mumbled, Her voice a little breathy. It was distracting. “I’m just- I’m trying to figure out the onryo’s MO. Usually they don’t have one, but Joey seems to, and I can’t work it out.”

“What’ve you ruled out?”

“Appearance,” She frowned at Her writing. “Profession. Marital status-“

“Vics weren’t cheaters?”

She shook Her head. “Most were single. It’s just- It’s not making a lot of sense.”

Dean shrugged. He still hadn’t let go of Her wrist. His hand might be trapped there permanently. “Doesn’t matter, right? Long as we gank the fucker, we’re in the clear.”

“Yeah,” She let out a long breath, glancing up at Dean with soft eyes. “I guess. I just- It’s weird.”

“Our lives are weird, sweetheart.” He grinned at Her. “Chill out. Sammy’ll be back soon, and we’ll be done before dinner.”

She nodded, her features relaxing, and Dean felt something loosen in his stomach. He was still touching Her. He couldn’t pull away. She wasn’t even trying to move, not trying to break his gaze, and he had grabbed Her over her shirt but She’d shifted and now he could feel Her skin. It was soft. Warm. It felt so goddamn right under his palm and She wasn’t moving away-

Sam cleared his throat, standing at the side of the table, and She and Dean flew apart. He yanked his hand away—grabbing his fork and tapping it in an uneven rhythm on his plate—and She moved backwards in her seat, hiking a knee up to her chest and looking up at Sam with wide eyes. 

Dean cleared his throat. “Hey, Sammy, you’re back-“

“Yeah.” Sam was looking between them, his lips twitching. “Am I interrupting-”

“No!” Her voice was high, and frantic. Dean frowned. He would’ve said no too, but She didn’t need to say it like that. “We’re just, um, talking about the case. Did you get what we needed?”

Sam nodded, pulling out a folded paper from his pocket and passing it into Her hands. “That should be enough, right?”

“Uh… Yeah.” She scanned over the list, and Dean didn’t miss Sam’s grin at Her approval. “I’ll head out now to set up?”

He wanted to protest. To tell Her to just stay and eat with them. She’d barely touched her plate, and something in his stomach kept gnawing at the idea of Her going off alone. She might hunt alone all the time, and Dean might know she had her knife, know that he’d be right behind Her, but he still didn’t want to Her to just go alone. He had twisting feeling over his heart at the idea of Her going alone-

“Sure.” Sam passed Her the keys to her car, stepping out of the way so she could exit the booth. “Call if you need anything, and we’ll meet you there in an hour.”

She hummed in agreement, giving them both soft smiles, and Dean was rooted in his seat. He should follow Her, or insist she stayed, and she’d get all fucking pissy about him not thinking she could handle this alone, but he still rather get yelled at then watch Her walk away. She was walking away. Dean needed to shout after Her and-

“She walks fast.” Sam said, dropping in Her now empty seat, and Dean blinked.

“Huh?”

Sam said Her name, settling in his seat. “She walks-“

“I heard you.” Dean snapped, looking out the window to watch Her move through the parking lot. She did walk fast. He’d never really noticed it before, because She always walked just a pace ahead of him, matching his speed perfectly. But alone, She did seem to walk faster. With purpose.

Towards Her car. Away from Dean. He could still run and grab Her. Convince her to come back to the booth-

“Does Dad know you were hunting with her?”

Dean turned back to Sam with a frown. “What.”

“Dad,” Sam leaned back, giving him a pointed look. “I remember what he said about her, Dean. Shit, dude, he hated her, even before he dug that stuff up-“

“Dad didn’t hate her.” Dean muttered. “He was just looking out for us.”

“He was being paranoid. And, just for the record, that woman,” Sam pointed out the window, and Dean realized She was gone. Fuck. “Doesn’t really seem like a spoiled, bratty con-artist.”

Dean scowled. He fucking knew that. And Sam needed to stop saying it, because it made Her more real. Made Her more possible, made Dean crash further up into Her. Fed the idea that he could, maybe, touch Her and not get burned.

“Dad doesn’t know, does he.” Sam crossed his arms, raising his brows. “You lied to him.”

“I didn’t-“

“You did. There’s not a chance he would’ve let you just go off hunting with anyone, let alone her.” Sam grinned at him, and Dean didn’t appreciate the glee on his face. “You were fucking lying to Dad.”

Dean braced his arms on the table, lowering his voice to a hiss. “I’m serious, Sam. Drop it.”

Sam did not drop it. He might be trying to get punched. “No, Dean. You’ve been lying to Dad. You never lie to Dad about anything.”

“Sam-“

“I mean, you’ve lied for me. But c’mon dude.” Sam let out a dry laugh, shaking his head. “Even you have to stop and think about why you don’t want Dad knowing about her. I mean, she’s nothing like what he said, but Dad’s Dad.”

“What the hell it that supposed to mean?“

“It means he’s not going to like that he was wrong. That she’s cool.” Sam shrugged. “I like her. The only thing I’d worry about is the, uh…”

He trailed off, and Dean frowned. 

“Worry about what?”

“I don’t know.” Sam’s brow furrowed slightly. “I mean, I don’t know what they are. Panic attacks?”

Dean shook his head, his brow drawn in confusion, and Sam gave him an odd look.

“There’s- Dean, there’s no way you haven’t noticed. I mean, you helped her, when she got here. When you did the, uh,” Sam reached up to his face, running his finger over his nose. “That.”

“Oh, yeah, that always calms her down-“

“But what is that?”

“I don’t know.” Dean muttered. “Probably just some girl shit-“

Sam scoffed. “That is not a girl thing. That’s like… an episode or something. Have you asked her?”

“No. And you,” Dean pointed to Sam with a glower. “Better not say shit.”

He didn’t need to give Her a reason to leave. A reason to think he didn’t want Her around. Those moments were strange—and had been happening more and more frequently—but Dean had dealt with stranger, and he knew how to handle it now. 

And Sam paused, tilting his head. 

“Holy shit, dude.” His face split into a shit-eating grin. “You really like her.”

“What?! No- I- Why the-” Dean narrowed his eyes. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about-“

“Yeah, I do. I know you, Dean. You don’t want to make her upset, you have a crush-“

Dean slammed his fist on the table, leaning forward with a glower. “Watch it, I’ll kick your fucking ass-“

Sam just shrugged, a shit eating grin on his face. “Whatever. Won’t make you not have a crush on her.”

“I do not have a fucking crush. She’s my friend-“

Sam laughed again, this one louder. “Sure, man. You looked like you were gonna cry when she walked away. I bet you wanna go after her-“

“Because she doesn’t need to do this alone! We hunt together, that’s the point of partners-“

“Partners?” Sam raised his brows. “Do you not hear yourself? You’re so worried about her-“

“Sam, I swear to fucking god-“

“Fine.” Sam raised his hands in surrender, still smirking. “Chill out.”

“I am fucking chill.” Dean grumbled, glancing at Her abandoned plate. “If you’re not eating that, we can go now-“

“No, I’ll eat it. And she’ll be fine, Dean. There was a lot of overlap on this list from the Maggie one, she just needs to find a really specific kind of beer. Actually, you got the perfume, right?”

Dean frowned. “Perfume?”

“Yeah.” Sam nodded, poking at the plate with his fork. “That bottle in his office, same kind you bought for the first ritual.”

Dean sat up in the booth, a creeping, almost painful chill shooting up his spine and through his blood. “The one with the yellow bottle?”

“Uh huh-“

“French name?” 

“Yeah, dude, I just said it was the same-“

Pieces fell into place in Dean’s head, and he felt sick. He’d fucking seen the bottle in Joey’s office, and remembered it because of Her. Then he’d forgotten until last night, and She’d cut him off before he’d had a chance to tell Her, when he’d gotten back. If he had told Her, she would’ve put it together faster. She would’ve seen the overlap on the lists, pointed out that it was strange to keep perfume in your office if you weren’t actually having an affair. 

If you were confronting your wife about her affair.

Dean shot out of his seat. “We need to go, now.”

“Woah, slow down, we still need to pay-“

“No, fuck, it’s-“ Dean ran a hand over his face, snapping Her name. “She uses that perfume.”

“So?”

“So, if you were a woman trying to cover your affair with your girl best-friend, how would you do it?”

Sam looked at him like he was insane. “I don’t know, Dean, that’s not a situation I’ve thought about once-“

“Would you make your girlfriend use the same perfume you use? Would you buy it for her?”

“I said I don’t know-“

“It’s the perfume, Sam!” Dean was shouting. He didn’t care. “We didn’t think about it! We thought it was the wife who got slighted, but it’s the fucking dude, and all the vics had that goddamn perfume! And-“

“The wife and mistress were using it.” Sam’s eyes widened, and his words far too slow when they had to go. “To hide their affair. And if the husband put that together, he’d… and…” Sam said Her name, and Dean felt his lungs tighten. “She uses…  Fuck.”

It was good Sam got up when he did, or Dean would’ve started to drag him out of the diner. The waitress shouted after them to pay, but he didn’t hear. There was red lining his vision and blood in his ears because he had been an idiot. They never would’ve gotten what the spirit was without Her, they never would’ve gone after the right douchebag without Her, and if Dean hadn’t managed to catch it, She would’ve paid the price for helping him. For Dean being unobservant asshole.

She still might pay the price. They hadn’t saved Her yet. Dean was violating traffic laws and testing Baby’s bounds, but She was in fucking danger and nothing else mattered.

“So,” Sam cleared his throat. “How do you know it’s her perfume?”

“Shut it, or I’ll fucking shoot you-“

“No, dude, I swear I’m not teasing. I just want to be sure-“

“I’m positive.” Dean grunted, not bothering to look over and see if his brother was listening. “And you better be ready to exorcise this son of a bitch-“

“I got the Japanese down last night. And I’m sure she’s fine, Dean-“

“Shut up.”

Sam raised his hands, and made the smart choice to close his fucking trap and let Dean focus. 

He didn’t bother with proper parking, stopping right on the curb outside the office and sprinting inside. The building was cold. Too cold. Fucking freezing the closer they got to the office, lights flickering in the hallways and all of Dean’s attention narrowed to listen for screams or bangs or cries for help-

The door to the office was locked. He pounded on it—shouting Her name and making the walls shake slightly—but there was no noise from the other side. The overhead lights sparked and flickered, wind seemed to rush through the half-empty hallway, and Dean took several steps back. This building was probably insured, and he needed to get in that fucking room.

Dean cracked his neck, braced his body, and threw himself forward.  

The room was pitch black when he crashed into it—one the overhead lamps hanging from the ceiling and light flooding in from the hallway—and She was sitting in the corner. Her back was pressed to the wall, Her hand around her throat, and Her eyes glassy as they found Dean’s.

He shouted Her name, dropping to his knees at Her side. “Fuck, are you-“

She shook Her head, pushing at his chest. “Dean, go, you need to go-“

“Are you fucking crazy? There’s no way I’m leaving-“

“No, I’ve- I’ve got it, please-“

Sam finally caught up, the paper shaker in one hand and a gun in the other. “Shit, where’s the-“

“Don’t know. Get ready.” Dean never looked away from Her bloodless face, keeping it cradled in one hand. “C’mon, Princess, you're a target, we’re going-“

“No!” She screamed, and Dean didn’t have time to feel something snap in his chest before She was kicking him away.

Before a large, white-clad and blood covered figure appeared right where he’d been before. Reaching down for Her as she curled further down into herself, not even trying to goddamn defend herself.

Dean was certain his heart stopped. That it exploded through his body in a firework of blood and feral, uncontrollable fear. And there was something else, too. Rioting in his chest, burning and golden and bellowing for Her. To save Her. To pull Her from danger, from the pain, from the dark-

He could only see red, only hear his own roar of Her name as the onryo grabbed Her head, slammed it into the wall, and She didn’t fight back.

Dean tackled the onryo. Wrapped his arms around its throat and yanked it away from Her slightly slumping body on the floor. Slammed his knees into its back and crashed them both against the desk, raising his fist to pummel it fucking bloody and uglier-

It threw Dean off with a guttural, ear-bleeding roar, and he felt pain pound over his back as he slammed into the wall. He was vaguely aware of Sam beginning the ritual, but he didn’t care. 

The onryo was heading back for Her. And Sam had realized and was running forward, but he wouldn’t be strong enough if Dean wasn’t, and She wasn’t fighting back.

All the lights in the hallway sparked and flickered, and Dean saw a flash of silver in the dark. He could hear low chanting and muttering in a soft, musical voice, and his head was spinning but he could swear She was moving.

The onryo screamed, and a blinding pillar flame burst through the room. Dean couldn’t think outside of fire. Licking at the ceiling and walls, and he couldn’t see Her anywhere at all-

It was gone in a second, and the room when dark once more. 

A small, weak noise came from the corner of the room, and when Dean’s eyes readjusted, he could see Her in the dark. He didn’t need to think to move to Her.

He just did. 

Holding Her face with his gentlest touch, angling it carefully to check for blood or bruising, muttering Her name until she made another soft sound and he knew she was conscious. He let Her slump forwards into him as Her eyes fluttered, and her breathing eased.

She’d be fine. Dean could see a cut on Her brow, a bite mark on her hand, and a gash on Her shoulder, but he’d stitched up worse for Dad. Her eyes weren’t staying open for more than a second, and her heart was racing when he checked Her pulse on her neck, but her gasps weren’t choked or stuttered so she’d be fine.

“Dean.” Sam muttered from behind them, his voice soft. “Is she-“

“She’s fine.” He grunted, wrapping his arm around her waist to hold Her steady as he moved to his feet. “Hold on,” he whispered Her name in her ear, and she listened, her arms looping around Dean’s neck. 

It was relieving and worrying all at once. She felt fragile again. 

Dean didn’t know if he could live with himself if he broke Her.

“Sam,” Dean didn’t take his eyes off of Her as he spoke, because looking at Her seemed to make just a little bit of the panic fogging his brain clear. He could see Her chest rise and fall. She’d be okay. “I know we still gotta check-“

Sam understood immediately. He usually did. “I can do it. Take her, I’ll meet you back at the motel.”

Dean nodded in silent thanks and—after carefully grabbing Her keys out of her pocket and throwing them to Sam—carried Her in his arms out of the office and into Baby. 

He drove slowly, his grip on the wheel white knuckled as She made soft sounds of pain at his side. Dean had brought Her here. He’d put Her in danger, just because he had missed Her, missed moving in her orbit. She was hurt because he’d been an idiot and brought Her into harm’s way. He’d triggered one of Her episodes because he hadn’t done his job and protected her, and She’d still ended up doing the ritual herself because he was fucking horrible at his job. He’d been lost in his head, just like Dad always told him not to be, and now She was in pain. She’d be okay, safe in a fancy home in some mystery town, if Dean just hadn’t called Her.

And he was a selfish, lonely piece of shit.

And he didn’t want Her to go.

She let him move Her from the Impala to the motel room, leaning into his side and walking in uneven, unsteady steps. At least She was walking. At least when Dean set Her down on his bed, she was able to pull off her own jacket and remove Her own shoes. Her eyes were slightly unfocused, and there was swelling on Her cheekbone where the onryo had grabbed her, but at least She was sitting upright, watching Dean grab their med kit. 

She was a statue, but at least She was here. With Dean. 

Where he could hear Her low, strained noises when he touched her gash, and he could rip his head apart with guilt. 

He’d fucking let that happen to Her. She wasn’t speaking, and Dean couldn’t tell if she was angry, but she should be. Because Dean had failed. 

Dad wouldn’t have failed. Dad would kill Dean if he found out he’d dragged Her into their family business, and she got hurt. He’d yell at Dean for letting Her everything distract him, because she wasn’t a real hunter, she was just a girl.

That’s what Dad had always called Her, when Dean managed to bring Her up. When he’d been testing the waters about telling Dad about Her, and always decided against it because Dad said She was just a lying, spoiled little girl, who didn’t give a damn about Dean.

But She’d killed the onryo. And She’d left him with the Poltergeist, but She’d chosen him with the Demon. When he’d only had Her, even if the worst of his injuries had been a mild concussion. 

Sammy liked Her. She liked Sammy. 

And when Dean glanced back up at Her beautiful face—cast like artwork in the shadows and cool lights of the motel—She was watching him the same way She always did. A little hazier, Her face more open and gentle than usual, but still the same.

Like Dean might be something. Anything at all.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, and Dean’s hands stilled.

“What.”

“I’m sorry.” She repeated it, and Dean felt sick. He might break his jaw. “I didn’t mean to. Please, I’m really- I didn’t mean to do that-“

Dean looked up at Her. Her eyes were glossy, Her features bloodless, and her every word choked as Her body curled into herself. Like She was trying to make herself small. Like She was trying to hide.

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered again, and Dean glanced down to Her hands in her lap. 

Raw and bloody, lined with marks where She’d begun to scratch.

He grabbed them without a word, moving them apart to rest on the mattress. She made a weak, strangled noise, and Dean could feel it in the goddamn cavity of his chest. Echoing around and burning a hole in his body that was shaped like Her.

“I’m sorry-“

“Why.” He muttered, refocusing his attention onto the gash. “You didn’t fuck anything up. You ganked the son of a bitch, and Sammy’s finishing the ritual for you. We’re fine.”

“The ritual?”

Dean nodded, glancing up at Her. The little furrow was back in Her brow, and she was breathing so fucking fast-

His thumb moved up before he could think about it. Running a soft line down the bridge of Her nose until she let out a long, slow breath, and the sound washed over Dean like rain. 

She’d be okay. Her eyes were still clouded, and She still looked far too small, but Dean would patch Her up and She’d be okay.

He rose without a word when he finished the stitches, muttering an order for Her to stay there, and moves to the kitchenette before he can think better of it. Opened the cabinet and started heating some water, just because he had to do something. If Dean was something, She was more, and he had just fucking do this. A silent apology.

A plea to not leave. To stay with Dean, because he was the fucking worst, but he’d never let that shit happen again. 

She’d moved to the headboard, Her legs curled under her body as she rested against the headboard. And She was still watching him. He wanted to brush the sweaty hair from Her face, and kiss the bruise on Her head, and pull her into a long hug to swear that would never goddamn happen again. 

He wouldn’t. He couldn’t. He didn’t even know how to grab Her face between his hands and tell Her he was sorry. That he’d felt like was suffocating when She’d gotten hurt, that he felt like the lungs and heart—and something else he didn’t even have a word for—were being crush and shredded apart all at once when She’d screamed. 

But he could do this. Dean could walk mix in the cocoa powder, grab one of Sam’s stupid thermoses, and pass the hot chocolate into Her shaking hands. 

He just looked at Her for a long moment. Gorgeous in an almost indescribable way, right before him where he could touch Her if he tried.

He didn't know where to start touching Her. How to start caring about Her the way something like Her—breakable and furious and brutal, brighter than anything Dean had even seen before, would ever see again— would deserve to be cared about. But he had to try. He had to keep Her close, where he could always make sure She’d be okay.

“How’d you know to come?” Her voice was still a breath, but it sounded more like Her, and Dean could take that.

He shrugged. “Got a gut feeling.”

“A gut feeling?”

“Yeah.” Dean gave Her a small smirk, dropping onto the edge of the bed. “Tells you what’s wrong and right, when something’s going bad-“

She whacked his arm, and it was weaker than usual, but still Her. She looked more and more like Her by the moment. “Shut up.”

“Bossy.”

She wrinkled Her nose at him, glowering over the thermos as She drank.

He chuckled. “You know, I mean that as a compliment-“

“Don’t tell me what I know, Winchester.”

The laugh that left Dean was loud, and real, and made Her smile. And he felt alive. Right now, Dean was alive at Her side, golden under Her attention, and more relaxed in the dark than he’d been in days.

“Yes, ma’am.” He drawled, and She rolled her eyes.

When She moved the thermos away from Her mouth, there was a little line of milk above Her lips, and Dean grinned. 

“Nice mustache, Princess.”

She blinked at him. “What?”

“Your- here.” Dean reached forward before he could think better, and wiped it with his thumb.

He froze in place the moment he drew away. He’d touched Her. And She’d been warm and soft and real. His thumb had brushed over Her upper lip for only a second, so now the feeling of it might be branded on his skin. And when he looked back to Her, she was flushed. With the hitched breath. The parted mouth.

He wanted more. He wanted Her. He didn’t ever want Her to go.

“Uh, where are you going?” He cleared, trying to make his voice as casual as possible. He could do this. “Once we wrap up the loose ends here?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged, settling back into the mattress. “Probably home.”

“Which is where?”

She gave him a small smile, taking a long sip of the coco without an answer.

“Never gonna tell me, huh?”

She shrugged. “Maybe next time, if you make me more of this.”

She tapped the thermos, and Dean felt his own mouth twitch.

“I think that’s bribery, Princess.”

“Maybe.” She hummed, raising Her brows at him. “Are we above bribery?”

Dean chuckled. “Guess not. And, uh,” he took a long breath, scratching the back of his neck. “Would you need it to be next time?”

She frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, what if there wasn’t a next time?”

Something flared on Her face, she leaned slightly away, and Dean’s throat tightened. Not like that. Not at all like that.

“Oh.” She mumbled, and the words began to fall out of Dean like vomit.

“No, I’m not saying that. Opposite of that. I mean, I told you everything, and Sammy likes you, and we’re a good team, Sweetheart, so if you want to, I’m sure Sam wouldn’t be pissed. He’d be for it. He said you were cool, and three is ever safer than two. So, uh, yeah.”

She only blinked. “What?”

Dean felt his face heat. He hadn’t actually said the thing. “Stay.”

“Stay?”

“With me. And Sammy. Just to help us find Dad, then Sammy’ll probably go back to a normal, boring life, and you can do what you do. Just, uh, you can stick around after the hunt. If you want.”

“Stay with you, to find…“ She trailed off, and Dean couldn’t read that expression. He couldn’t fucking think, not outside of Her eyes on his, and the smell fruit dragging him into a pure sense of Her.

“Our Dad.” Dean finished Her sentence, and her throat bobbed. 

She let out a slow breath, hugging Her own body and ducking Her head, and Dean felt his chest go numb before she even spoke.

“I can’t.” She mumbled, rubbing that scarred palm over her calf. “I’m really sorry, Dean. Just, my dad-“

“Don’t. It’s fine.” He rubbed his own brow, his gaze fixed on Her hand. Close enough to touch.

But not really close at all.

“Dean-“

“I’m serious. It was just an offer.”

“But-“

He snapped Her name, and it was harsher than he meant it, but something also felt like it was peeling along his ribs. She didn’t want him. Nobody would want him. He’d gotten Her hurt, and he had no good reason to think She’d stick around for him. She didn’t feel this, it was all only Dean losing his mind and falling to his knees for a woman that he could never have. She sounded wounded and desperate, but She wasn’t his to wound, and She’d told him she didn’t want to stay. That She wanted to go back home. Somewhere of the mud, somewhere Dean wasn’t good enough to follow her to.

“I’m-“

“Don’t apologize.” He muttered. She needed to rest, and Dean didn’t need Her sorrys. He didn’t really deserve them. “Go to sleep, Princess. I’ll see you in the morning.”

She took a long breath. “Dean?”

He grunted, unable to look Her in the eyes, and She sighed.

“I know I, you-“ She cut herself off with a swallow, her voice growing softer by the second. “But can you, um, can you please- I don’t want to- Could you please sit?”

Dean frowned at the floor. “What.”

“With me. Sit with me. Until I fall asleep.” She whispered. “You can go after, if you do, but… Please.”

Her voice was so goddamn light, so dream-like, and Dean didn’t think he’d ever learn to not bend for it. Not when his eyes dragged back to Her’s, and they were calling him further down. Drawing him closer with only Her. Still just Her, at Dean’s side, in the whole universe of a motel room.

And She wanted him for this. Only this. 

But at least it was something.

He nodded, and forced himself to ignore the spark up his spine when a She mumbled a thanks, and closed her eyes with a soft breath.

She was passed out in only a few minutes, and Dean stayed at Her side. Just a nod felt like it was an oath, when it was for Her. So Dean sat at Her side, and watched her sleep like that same creep he’d been the night before.

He didn’t really notice Sam returning. He couldn’t look anywhere but Her. Slack faced and breathing slow, drooling onto the pillow in a way Dean wanted to wipe from her chin, hair in her face he wanted to brush away, lips parted that he always wanted to touch. 

Beautiful. Not his to have. 

But She’d be here until morning. And She’d asked him to stay with Her, so he’d sit in the dark for Her and practice how he’d let Her go when she walked away. Remind himself that it was for the better She wouldn’t stay. She wouldn’t get hurt. And he would see Her again.

Maybe, while she was hunting without him, She’d find someone who actually kept her safe. Who did what Dean wasn’t good enough to do, and didn’t just watch Her in the dark. They’d hold Her in the dark. They’d be Her dark, just like Dean irrationally craved, but deserving. Worthy of a star falling into their hands, worthy of holding it with them all the time. 

Dean felt sick. Her hand was splayed across the mattress. 

He let himself hold it. If this was the only chance he had, and She didn’t flinch away when he twined his fingers with Her’s, he’d hold Her hand.

He’d take tonight. 

And he’d learn how get a grip in the morning. 

End Note: Diversity win! These Lesbians were part of a triple murder suicide!

Thank you so so so much for reading!! If you like this story, please reblog, share, or leave a comment! <3

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[pretty-weird-ideas]

Ao3 choosing to add onto a dogpile against a Black actor and his space in fandom when he is already being bashed by mainstream media and when he’s in the middle of the wrong place wrong time boycott due to another characters inclusion in his film is going to turn me into the joker. Wdym you're displacing thousands of already written Black centered works so that some made up racist #notmycap fan doesn't have an aneurysm? Implying that fans of Steve couldn't possibly be fans of Sam content and thus they need to quarantine him is actually so telling. They just assumed that Cap fans don't equal Sam fans and thus they don't want to see him.

Also the implication that PEGGY CARTER is a main character in the trilogy but SAM is not? Yeah Imma need answers. Ao3 choosing to announce this during the height of #notmycap and explicitly alt-right figures harassing Anthony Mackie for his statements on Captain America reeks of passive agreement in said anti-blackness. And if that wasn’t the case it’s almost worse, because it reeks of negligence and a refusal to read the room. Ao3 was unable to notice the dead horse while they ran to beat it?

Ao3 was unable to realize how racist it looked when they announced that they were going to segregate the Captain America tag so that the white character was the default and the Black character’s fans had to literally physically relocate using their own labor? And if I said “why don’t we ask the fans of the white character to move to the Steve tag?” Or “get both fans to move from Cap’s tag” everyone would act scandalized. Because deep down they know the amount of labor they’re asking of both authors and readers is obscene. Now, people attempting to read about Sam Wilson will have to physically look 10x harder for the content because you have intentionally buried his works in the improper tag and authors must scrub their works to tag him properly. Notice how this never happens to the characters that fit the comfortable default. It’s always telling the POC characters, OCs, or head canons to move to their own tag.

Jumping fans of Sam Wilson and by extension a Black Captain America with “and don’t forget to remind people you’ll never be like the rest of them!” When we’re CONSTANTLY harassed by that narrative is actually NOT helpful nor fun. Ao3 literally made a choice to remind ppl that fans would rather PRETEND that Sam doesn’t exist in canon publicly. And we’re supposed to believe that isn’t a massive error?

[peeweekey]

everyone adores you (at least i do)

pairing: sam x reader

wc: 1.1k

tags: CHEEEEESY cheesy cheesy puppy love, mutual pining, sam is PATHETICALLY down bad, pre-relationship, abigail and sebastian mentioned, friends to lovers

synopsis: if it were up to sam, he'd spend every second of everyday at your side.

a/n: in all of my other sam fics, its reader embarrassingly in love with him...he gets a taste of his own medicine here lol!

With vanilla ice cream melting and dripping down your fingertips, coarse sand underneath you and the salty ocean waves lapping at your feet; you are a child again, sitting with your grandpa at the docks, watching as he reeled in a ‘big one’. Filling his bucket with loads and loads of fish.

Those days are far gone now, but the memory remains, as clear as the day you remember it. The feeling is nostalgic, sleepy in the way your senses are dulled by syrupy thick contentment. Beaches at sunset have that effect on you, you suppose. 

“This is fun,” Sam says, tone lacking its boisterous loudness, you almost don’t hear it over the sound of crashing waves. “I had a lot of fun today, farmer.”

Your eyes flicker to him, his green gaze dead-set on the peachy golden sky, the taste of sea salt mingling with sweet ice cream heavy in your tongue. The sea breeze is cold, whipping against your face and running through your hair.

“I did too,” you agree. “Y’know, I don’t get a lot of off time with the farm and stuff. This is a nice change of pace.”

He smiles, that sunshine smile you’ve come to associate with Sam. “I caught you at just the right time then, huh?” 

You shrug, your own smile mirroring his. “Auspicious.” He did.

The sun is setting, the day is coming to a close yet Sam wishes it wouldn’t, silently pleading with any higher being to somehow stretch time. He is barely a religious person, but the weight of his want is enough to transcend his own beliefs. Every second with you barely feels like enough; like sand slipping through his fingers.

One thing’s for certain, Sam isn’t going to just let it end here.

“We should hang out like this again,” Sam says, a little hurriedly, captured all in one breath. Shy and tentative, like a bashful child with a school crush. “Uh, I mean, do you? Wanna? Hang out with me?”

You can barely suppress a delighted chuckle from slipping past your lips, your chest warming with fond affection. “I’d be more than happy to. Yoba knows I need a break or two or I’ll actually explode,” you huff while Sam hums in agreement. “We can even invite Abigail and Sebastian… so can demo that new song for me, I see you all working very hard when I visit sometimes.”

He should be happy to hear that; that you’d be more than happy to spend your precious off time with him out of all people. You and him, him and you, Sam and the farmer. Your name connected to his with ‘and’, it makes him giddy, causes his cheeks pinken and pinken. 

Just the two of you, though. Sure, he loves his friends, Abby and Seb have been with him since day one. But it feels out of place—

(Sam, Sebastian, Abigail and the farmer doesn’t have that ring to it…)

“Yeah, I—I dunno, it’s just…”

The unfiltered truth is stupid, at least to him. Vincent is far too young for some of the things Sam longs to say. There’s a reason Abby and Seb hang out under his nose, he won’t blame them, they have their own secrets he isn’t privy to—too serious, too dull for him.

(And now with you, he thinks you might just be the one he can share his own secrets with. Because even he has his own serious, dull thoughts. Thoughts that he doesn’t want brushed away with a snarky remark or a sarcastic laugh.)

“I kinda like that it’s just the two of us?” 

His voice sounds unsteady, squeaky. Trailing off at the end, lost in the sound of water crashing at your feet. Phrasing his statement into a question that you could deny, that you could easily brush off—because if you did, he would too. 

(It would be a bummer if you did though, but Sam is cool with that, chill with any decision you make. Really, he totally is.)

You grin, bumping your shoulder against his, your ice cream is dripping down, down, down your knuckles. Once your skin meets his, you don’t pull away, you press closer and closer to his side. Leaning your head against his sunburnt shoulder—but he barely registers the sting—and your arm against his own. It’s a pleasant weight, having you against him—grounding and tethering him to you.

“I do too. Like it, I mean. I think I get to see so many other sides to you, Sam. Without the others and all that.”

Sam feels his breath hitch, his cheeks flush even pinker even with the sunburns. “Woah, phew, I mean—awesome… When, when do you think we can meet next?”

You tilt your head, running calculations through your mind. You’re very busy on that farm, he knows; but Sam can’t help but keep his hopes up, you’re fun company. Maybe the best he’s had yet.

“I know I won’t have enough time until my melons are ready for harvesting—and don’t you dare try making a joke about that,” you smile, wide and cheeky. Right as Sam readies an innuendo at the tip of his tongue; it makes his blood pump faster and his breathing stutters at the thought of you knowing him so well. 

“So how about this?” you propose slowly. “We spend one day every month doing all the stuff we wanna do, together. just you and me—fun right? I’ll even sleep a little earlier the night before.”

Sam bites into his ice cream—chocolate and your treat, at your insistence—though he isn’t quite sure if the immediate smile on his lips is due to its sweetness, or yours.

He leans closer into you, resting his head on top of yours, strands of your hair tickling his lips. Lowering his voice into a whisper so only you can hear.

(The secret is that you make Sam want. Want, want, want like he’ll never get sick of it. He hoards these stolen moments with you so greedily yet wants more.)

“…two days, two days each month.”

He feels your body shake with the strength of your laughter, warmth swirls all throughout his body, tingling wherever your body brushes against his own. Sam finds that he likes the feeling, the buzz of it—it’s addicting.

“Yeah, alright then,” you reply, mirth dripping from each and every word. “two days. We have a deal. Better?”

“Yeah,” he turns back to face the water, the ocean spray misting his face. “Yeah, a lot better. That does sound fun.”

Anything sounds fun when it involves you.

[asmrrpaddict]

Favorite characters from favorite VAs

Some will have more than others if I can’t decide or they have a larger catalog of characters. Sorry if I spell names wrong. This actually turned out much longer than I expected, but have you seen my name? I like a lot of them! And this barely scratches the surface of my subscription list. Nothing is in any order.

Nomad Tales and Audio:

Caleb, Deacon, Conner, Caltraxus, Gavin, & the unnamed Werewolf from the Werewolf x Werewolf series

Redacted Audio:

Sam, Porter, David, Caelum, Gavin, Vega, Hush, & Vincent

Joseph Holloway:

Ivan, Grom, MJ Jarrod Tillus, Casper aka The Inquisitor, & the doctor from the Avatar one shot.

Good Boy Audio:

Hades/Tyr, Yargwyn, Devlin, Kalimos, Zed, & Hipswitch (Ok, so I know Devlin and Hipswitch are voiced by Zsaku and Yuurivoice, but they are still GBA characters.)

Reverie Audio:

Law, Desmond, Dion, Kane, & Cyril

MasterMissy: PLEASE COME BACK! 🥺

Ethan, Darrin, Jedidiah, Sammy, & Magnus

Escaped Audio:

Jean, Crow, Ivan, Bash, Ash, & Fletcher

Yuurivoice:

Seth, Alphonse, Charlie, & Aizawa.

Jouska: sadly a lot of his don’t have names, but I’ll come up with something Vampire (Vampire/Cupcake), Morph(eus), & Cosmic from (Stardust and Cosmic)

Siren’s Son:

Thresh, Bek, Bren, Abul, Duke, Colby, & Faceless

Icey ASMR:

Damon, Nico, Tatshiro, & Aiden

Scythe Audio:

Hunter, Dark, Kreed, Marcus, L, V, & Jay Jay (Again, L isn’t voiced by Scythe, but she is one of his characters.)

Shining Armor: Robert, Ellion, & Officer Ellis Knight

Ycey Narrates:

Zach, Oliver, Edlin, & Morgan

AJ Audio

Alistair, Prince Yvan, King Atticus, & the dragon shifter from Eternally Madly Yours

(Yvan is voiced by Siren’s Son, but on AJ’s audio.)

Zsaku:

Xanthus, Zaros, & Ellis

[benedictscanvas]

Would love a request where something sweet has been brewing between Roy and reader since she came and sat with him in the locker room after his injury and she’s been working up the nerve to tell him her feelings but hasn’t yet and it all comes to a head when she sees him walking onto the field in his coach suit 😍 maybe she’s still been going to games in his jersey even if he isn’t playing but he didn’t know till he saw her after he coached that game

ooooh you know what i like. this is good stuff, thank you so much, i've already written this dressing room scene once so i hope this is different enough!! | 2k words, tw language, some miscommunication but it all works out

You sat up in the owner's box with Rebecca, screaming at the top of your lungs for the club you love with all your heart. Of course, you used to have a season ticket before you were head of recruitment at the club, but your seats were never quite this good. The team were never this promising, either. There were many reasons why you now loved Richmond more than ever.

One of those reasons wasn't there, however. Roy Kent, the prick, had stuck around just long enough to let you fall madly in love with him and then disappeared into thin air once he retired.

The only time you ever saw him now was on the TV, if he was on Match of the Day on a Saturday night or you'd recorded a match just to watch his punditry. He was angry and rude and refused to bash the younger players 'cause he knew what that felt like. You swooned every time you watched, so you tried not to watch very often anymore.

"He'll come back eventually," Rebecca smiled at you, seeing the telltale drop of your smile and guessing the reason for it instantly, "You know that man won't be able to stay away from you for long."

"He's been doing a great job of it so far," you muttered bitterly and Rebecca only shook her head at you fondly and returned her attention to the players lining up beside the match officials. You knew part of her statement to be true - Roy wouldn't be able to stay away from Richmond, his family, forever. But you? Maybe she had overestimated your importance.

---

"Roy?"

You knew you categorically shouldn't be here, but it just wasn't enough to stop you. Roy was in pain and nothing else mattered. When you pushed open the dressing room door tentatively, you let out a sigh of relief at the sight of him.

"Y/N?" his voice is strangled and doesn't sound like him at all. He stares at you for a few moments before he bows his head between his knees, "What the fuck are you doing?"

"So rude," you murmur, walking over to sit near him but on the floor, not wanting to crowd his space, "I'm just here, okay?"

Roy grunts. Then:

"I don't want you here."

"Okay."

He looks down at you, assessing for a few moments. You're not moving, just sitting still, staring at the door rather than him. When he buries his face in his hands rather than shouting at you to get out, you scoot closer to him, close enough to rest your head on his good knee, wrap a hand around his calf firmly.

He's shuddering a little, but there's no sound of crying. You know he's trying to hide his tears and there's no use telling him not to.

"I'm just here," you repeat, and he leans his head over, still buried in his hands, until your temples are pressed together. Like he needs the contact. Like he needs you.

---

But that was then. Now, it had been a couple of months and your one brave text to him remained unanswered. It had only been checking up on him and you should have known he wouldn’t reply to something so benign, but you figured it was worth a try. Clearly, you’d been wrong.

The match had started, despite you getting lost in distractions of your own making. You tried to get into the game, shouting for Sam and Jamie loudly at the front of the pack but to no avail. A huge cheer rang out in the crowd all of a sudden, although nothing had happened on the pitch. You glanced at Rebecca questioningly, and saw her staring open-mouthed at the tunnel, so you followed her gaze.

Your lips parted. There was a gasp lodged in your throat. Roy Kent, in all his black-suited glory, was striding down the touch line towards the coaches, where he took his rightful spot beside them to the delight of the crowd. You gripped the railing in front of you desperately as you stared at him. He was here. He was back.

Taking the cue from Rebecca, you joined in the familiar chant of his name, trying to blink back the tears in your eyes. Whether he’d talk to you or not, whether you’d misread everything between you in weeks gone by, you were overjoyed for him - he was back where he belonged.

It may have still been another draw, but it didn’t feel all that frustrating this time. You weren’t sure where to go, whether to go in search for him or wait for a better time. While sat in your car agonising over your decision, there’s a loud knock on your window and you almost hit your head on the roof as you jump, startled.

Roy hovers outside your window, looking bashful, for once. You wind the window down.

“What are you doing here?” you ask, even though you know in your heart you should be saying ‘Hello’ and ‘I missed you’ and ‘I love you more than anything’.

“What does it fuckin’ look like? I’m coaching. Turns out I can be good at more than one thing.”

It was something you’d said to him when he was leaving, when he was refusing to stay and try his hand at coaching. You’d known even then that he would be perfect for the job, but that he was in his own head, getting in his own way. He insisted and you relented, but reminded him of a few of the talents he had. Told him he could be good at more than one thing. You’d no idea he had actually taken your sentiment on board at all until now.

“No, I meant-“ you sigh as you stare up at him, then unlock the door and step out the car to talk to him. It’s painful when he takes a step back to give you space, “I meant, isn’t there a Ted Talk you should be listening to right now?”

“Ted Talk? Nice one,” he says, small smile on his face, but its still tentative. It falls completely when you fold your arms and lean against the car, still staring at him, “I told him I had something to fucking do, alright? Something important.”

“Right. Which is?”

“Fuck, okay,” he swears, like he hadn’t been expecting to launch right into it, “I’m fucking sorry. And I fucking love you. Fucking want to be with you.”

Your heart is fit to burst out of your chest with each extra sentence. Still, its been months. You need more.

“You’ll need to elaborate on those. All three.”

Roy shakes his head as he stares at the ground. But when he looks back up at you, he must see the look in your eyes - the one willing him on, the one pleading with him to give you more so that you can cave.

"Fuck," he mutters again, a broken record, "Okay. I'm sorry I left without fucking saying anything. And then you texted me and I still didn't, like fucking idiot. I am a fucking idiot. I didn't know what to say or how to say what I wanted to say so I didn't say anything. Fuck, am I even saying anything right now?"

He was rambling somewhat, but there was no world in which you were going to tell him that.

"Yes. Keep going."

He huffed, but carried on regardless, hands in his pockets as he stared down at you, clearly determined to keep eye contact so you could believe every word.

"I didn't know how to talk to you when I didn't have work as an excuse. Like if I spoke to you, you'd know I was actually only talking to you because of how I fucking feel about you. Then, when I realised I wanted to coach, I also realised I should just be telling you how I feel about you anyway. I'm so fucking sorry, Y/N."

You try and digest his words quickly enough, because he's practically spat them out.

"Yeah, okay. I get that. It just sucked. More than anything else, I thought we were friends."

He growls, but you get the feeling it's at himself rather than you.

"We were. We fucking are. I couldn't talk to anyone after I left. Couldn't even come back here. Just felt...god, it felt fucking shit. But I've come to terms with it now, you know, the fucking retirement. I've got a lot of apologising to do."

"This is a pretty good start. I know it must have been hard, Roy," you try to sound as sincere as you feel, "I wanted to be there for you so fucking badly. But I get it. Really."

"You do?"

"Yeah. And I'm sorry for not pushing it. A proper friend would have been banging on your door to let me in so I could fucking check on you. I gave up a bit."

He scoffed, but didn't reply. It was more true than you'd previously realised. Maybe what Roy really needed during that time, rather than a half-hearted text message was some loud and proud support. You could forgive him if he could forgive you.

"We're good," you confirm, when he still doesn't say anything. His expression is unreadable as he stares at you, hands still in his pockets but fidgeting there. Dying to break free, "That's the first one covered. Continue."

"The first one...? Oh," he says as he realises what you mean, and there are butterflies fluttering up a storm in your stomach as he takes a step forward and continues in a sinfully low tone, "I fucking love you. Like, really. I know you won't fucking believe me, because it's out of the blue or whatever, but it isn't. Tell me this hasn't been coming for the past year?"

He takes another step forward as he says it, forces you to look up at him, crowds you against the car but with enough space for an exit if you want one.

You never, ever want one.

"Yeah, maybe an 'I like you' has been coming," you say instead, because you need him to confirm it. Need him to explain exactly what he's feeling so you can see if you match up, "I love you is another level."

"Yeah, and it's our fucking level, Y/N," he says through gritted teeth, "I love you. It's so fucking easy and simple, or it would have been if I'd said it two months ago. I'll do whatever you want to make up for all that fucking lost time."

"You seem very sure I'm going to reciprocate this in some way," you say, almost teasing. You believe what he's saying. You can't come back down to earth. Reaching forward on a whim, you grab his hand in yours and tug him that final step towards you, enough that he has to rest his hands on either side of you on the car.

"You're telling me," he murmurs, leaning in so that his breath just brushes against your outer ear, "You feel absolutely fucking nothing right now? Even though we haven't talked in months...and you're wearing my name on your back?"

You felt the heat all the way down in the tips of your toes. You'd forgotten what you were wearing. Of course, you still wore your Kent shirt. It was a prized possession - he'd signed the inside label.

"You like that shit?"

"I love that shit," he groans, "Fucking hot. You're telling me it means fucking nothing?"

"No," you hiss back, satisfied in making him work for it, "I'm telling you that I fucking love you too, you idiot."

And he's kissing you before you can comprehend it. Devouring you, even. You forgot about asking him to explain number three, but it didn't really matter. Roy did plenty of elaborating in his own way for the rest of the evening.

[live-laugh-legolas]

heyy idk if you take requests right now but I was thinking maybe you could write headcanons about how the fellowship would act like around their crush. Let's say reader is the crush in the scenario, so how do you think the members of the fellowship would act around them? And maybe Thranduil as well if it's not too difficult!

The fellowship around their crush (+Thranduil)

Aragorn:

-There is no possible way you can tell he has a crush

-I mean he is so sweet to everyone; and everyone falls in love with him for it

-So you definitely assume he doesn’t have any special feelings towards you

-But there are signs

-He lets you be first for everything; like being served food, bathing first, etc

-It is obvious to anyone paying attention that his eyes are basically always on you

-He just wants to make sure you are alright

Legolas:

-He is pretty subtle about it

-But he’s not shy either

-He’s awkward yes, but he doesn’t feel embarrassed to admit he has a crush

-It’s a huge compliment for someone to have a crush on you, and that’s all he means by it

-I think he is more talkative around his crush too

-Because he wants to engage with them and get them talking too

Gimli:

-Blushes so fucking much

-And he stammers

-He gets really nervous and feels he needs to impress you

-Kinda overcompensates by being a little gruff; but not in a mean way; more in the sense that he shortens his sentences so he doesn’t stutter

-That being said, he isn’t afraid to tell his friends all about you

-I imagine him being like Sam was with Rosie at the party; his friends know but can’t get Gimli to act on anything

-He says he doesn’t want to be rash

-And that he doubts you would be interested in him

-But if he eventually does ask you out and you say yes his whole demeanor changes instantly

-He is confident and so happy

-“YES! Oh um I mean thank you, I mean…”

Boromir:

-I know he is a pretty confident guy and quite outgoing

-But I stick to my characterization that he actually doesn’t have many friends and is actually kinda socially awkward

-So he’s very nervous about ever saying anything to you

-He talks a big game, but is super nervous if he decides to ask you out or you ask him out

-Such a protective soul; you will never have to worry about being hurt because he will protect you without having to be asked

Frodo:

-I think like Legolas, he also isn’t necessarily shy about it

-He wears his heart on his sleeve and isn’t afraid to let you know he cares about you

-But he says it in a way that could be taken as “I love you because you are my friend”

-Which he does. He would never feel the need to rush into anything and will be your best friend before asking you out

Sam:

-Well we know he is shy and can’t bring himself to think he is deserving of you

-But also he can’t think of anyone who would treat you better than him

-He always offers to help you out

-He will carry anything for you, cook you anything, help you clean; you get the idea

-Very protective and will immediately come to your defense should someone even look at you wrong

Merry:

-Cocky mf

-Seriously he is so flirty

-He immediately looks to you after he says a joke to see if you liked it

-But also on the flip side, he actually talks less around you

-Not because he is nervous per say, but he wants to listen to you talk instead

-He has a super good memory and will remember any little thing you tell him

-Like if you mention once that you like a very specific type of pastry; he will get you one even if it’s months later

Pippin:

-Definitely not subtle but he is very bashful about it

-You think he is giddy normally, well wait till he’s around you

-He uses humor to try and get over his nerves

-I think he is the type to go home with the biggest smile and will rant to anyone around about how great you are after hanging out with you

*Bonus Thranduil

-He’s a king and has mastered the art of remaining stone faced and keeping his feelings hidden

-But he makes a point to always try and be around you

-He always invites his crush for tea and asks their opinion on matters

-He will never admit to having a “crush”

-He’s too sophisticated for that, or so he says

-His love language is gift giving

-He will start with smaller things, like a new bow or nice dress for a party

-But it eventually becomes beautiful jewelry and gifts fit for royalty

-He hopes, and kinda assumes, you will get the idea from this because he isn’t one to speak his affections

-He is indirectly protective; making sure guards know to keep an eye on you and he will make sure you have anything you need

-It is only in rare moments of vulnerability that he will soften; I imagine this happens after you get injured or something

-He will admit that he can’t lose you

-The type to kiss you before ever saying that he likes you outright

[geordikisser]

jealous!redacted boys | suggestive

characters: david, milo, asher & sam :p

☆ a/n: any porter missers? miss porter. this was an excuse to write abt porter but might as well spoil my milo & david mooties who follow meee >_O!! part 2 later :33 ☆

context: someone is tryna spit some sweet shit to you as he steps away

david:

- david will never hesitate to let it be shown when he is feeling a type of way about someone who’s interacting with you. it’s in his blood to devote loyalty & possessiveness upon things he claims as his

- whether it’s intentional, it’ll show when he is feeling upset at someone who’s seemingly putting moves on you

- “is everything alright.” in the scariest voice you’ve ever heard from him

- david is a direct man but that directness doesn’t mean he’s directed in the right direction sometimes,, he isn’t to good with social cues with you. he’s stupid with love. smart with most! but love? eeeerm.

- he has a history with that too,, looks at jealous tsundere bf confronts you.

- he will become very touchy/clingy with you once he begins reading signs he doesn’t like. to hand holding or even thigh holding. he’ll rub your thigh with his finger gently or hold you closely by the waist and play with the bottom of your shirt. actions speak louder than words! i guess

- “clearly social cues aren’t your strong suit. fuck off, they aren’t interested.” as blunt as he’ll put it, in that same tone. he isn’t loud or aggressive. just direct and stern, he doesn’t want to cause a scene.

- after you two left from hanging out, david felt the urge to meet your lips with his as he dragged you in the house practically. you chuckle in between kisses as you put your hands on david’s chest. “you’re mine, you know that right, angel?” he asked in a low husky tone. you nod as you caress his cheek. “i love knowing you’re mine.” he growls lowly, his breath hitching as he said that.

milo:

- unlike david, he isn’t quiet. he’s loud about how he feels with you & other people who try to spit some shit with you

- “yo, who’s this?” mentality

- he will glare and give nasty looks from afar. until he realizes the whole shtick going on with you. he will make his entrance very grand and big,,

- “hey sweetheart!” he pulls you in and kisses you everywhere he can within public. “how’s my sweetheart?— oh? who’s this?” he’s petty with it i just know it

- if the punk doesn’t get the hint milo will get real serious. he will puff out his big boy chest and rip that person tryna hit on you to shreds. he’ll even bare his teeth a bit too ngl, he isn’t scared

- “listen here, punk. your little act for my sweetheart isn’t cute. quite frankly, you could use some tips. good thing i’m not a teacher. though, i could teach you some manners if you’d like. no means no, now scram.” in a low tone but if anyone walked by, they could hear.

- milo isn’t bashful, he knows what’s his and wants to keep it that way. he doesn’t need small hints and signs to show what’s his, he will scream it to the roof tops lmao. he’s a blunt and bold dude, no hesitation w him

asher:

- asher’s dumb. he has 0 tone reading skills & doesn’t understand most things. he won’t catch on until it gets physical or you show visible discomfort.

- he is more polite compared to his other friends. he’s a sweet boy, has 0 bad bones inside him. he’ll tell the punk to go off somewhere or tell them you’re taken to actually avoid conflict

- asher, despite his loud & unruly nature, prefers peace over violence such as that. he hates conflict, he isn’t a aggressive person at heart!! doesn’t mean he’s afraid to be aggressive he won’t hesitate to be violent, especially if it’s over you? he’s a extremely protective person.

- “hey, i know your intentions are pure but they’re taken! they have a boyfriend.” & whatever the other person has to say he’ll shut it down immediately, he doesn’t care for what they have to say. positive or negative, he doesn’t care.

- if the person persists (which they do most of the time due to asher’s kind personality ) he will get nasty about it. not crazy like milo or quiet like david, in between.

- “if i need to remind you again i will trust me! i ain’t scared of you.” he’ll be laughing as he says this, he’s to unserious,,

sam:

- sam is also very possessive. he know you can handle yourself but sometimes that side of him makes him want to handle that. he lives in a general dominant nature, sexual or not.

- sam will try to remain calm & trust you can handle it on your own, he is similar to david, doesn’t wish to make a big scene but he isn’t afraid to cause one. he can just teleport away if it gets overwhelming

- he will have similar mannerisms to milo, he will come in being touchy a bit and just glare at the person. his eyes will read a very distasteful message hoping the punk would take their leave understanding your disinterest.

- if not, he isn’t afraid of course to speak up

- “unless you got places to be tomorrow, i’d pick up the pace and swing on out of here.” in a low tone, his accent gets heavier the angrier he gets and the lower his voice is

- he would be very forward about it, he hates beating around the bush. these sort of interactions are quick and direct, he has an intimidating aura about him that make alot of humans turn away, that stomach churning feeling

- “i bet you had that handled sure.” he rolls his eyes as he peppers your neck in kisses. “you’re strong, i know.” he sighs as he nuzzles into the your neck. “but i love defending what’s mine.” he bares his lovable shit eating grin to you as you roll your eyes in response.

[babyjaans]

Research question: I can’t seem to remember anytime jared interfered with sam’s storyline or made specific acting choices. Are there any such instances that I’m unaware of?

[wannabe-fic-writer]

Wanda Maximoff x Reader - Pick-up Line

Summary: Perhaps being a little corny isn’t so bad.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1,801

* * * * * * * *

Laughs and giggles ring out around you, a hand pushing gently at your shoulder as your friend urges you on.

“You gotta do it Y/Ln.” He says, still lightly pushing, the playfulness clear in his gesture.

Shaking your head, you duck your gaze from the woman you’d seen at the bar.“ I’m not nearly drunk enough to go embarrass myself, thank you very much.”

For a second it seems they accept it, until your closest friend, Darcy, pipes up.“ I dare you.”

Sounds of instigation circled the booth instantly after and you shot a narrow eyed look at the brunette from across the table.

After a rather hard day at work, you and your friends all decided to come blow off some steam at a bar not too far from your job.

On a Friday night the place was growingly crowded but you managed to slip into a booth that seated you all comfortably and after two shots, paid for by your friend, you stopped caring how many people were in the building.

Music filled the space alongside chatter and laughter from the other patrons, only adding to the atmosphere that allowed everyone to start unwinding.

Drinks were ordered almost as fast as they were drunk, jokes filled the air, and the usual conversation and banter accompanied all of you. For the most part, you managed your avoid being the target of the jokes, until you were caught staring.

A woman had come into the bar, clad in black heeled boots, black skinny jeans, and a simple dark red top which was only revealed after she removed her coat, and she looked gorgeous.

You were nearly mesmerized at the way her long auburn hair flowed and bounced with each move. Becoming even more so when she turned to face the stage and you caught the sharp cut of her jawline and her high cheekbones. You didn’t have to be close to see that she was beautiful.

Sadly though, you were caught “ogling” her, and was promptly teased which transitioned into them telling you to go talk to her.

Knowing that you were no more than a gay mess, you hardly entertained the idea. You could appreciate beauty from afar and avoid embarrassment all at once.

Your friends knew that’s how you felt and told you not to take yourself too seriously. According to them you couldn’t go wrong with humor so Sam suggested you try a pick-up line to which you had to admit, you only knew lame ones that the internet provided.

Unswayed, he told you to go use one and your bashful ‘no’ met nothing but encouragement from everyone. That is until Darcy dared you.

Of course you could say no, avoid the humiliation and go on about your night, but you really couldn’t.

Having known Darcy since you were in college together came with baggage. Not the bad kind, just the kind that had you wishing there was none.

One truth or dare game at a party years ago, where the both of you swore you would never back down from a dare, was carried through years of friendship. Three little words, ‘I dare you’, more often than not led to one of you making a fool of yourselves and it seems that tonight, it was your turn.

The split second you take to consider saying no is met by a raise of the brunette’s eyebrow and your pride swallows the word.

After tossing back a shot for courage, you push yourself up from your seat and make your way across the room, fingers nervously tapping against the pockets of your jeans.

The distance between each barstool provides enough space for you to slide up beside the redhead with ease.

Now that you’re here: beside her with the burn of your friends’ obvious stares, you clam up a little. But you accepted the dare, and you’d honestly come too far to back out. Seeing how gorgeous she is up close however makes you wish the first thing out of your mouth wouldn’t be some lame pick-up line.

Still.

Clearing your throat, you turn your body to face her, plastering on a look of curiosity.“ Excuse me for bothering you but I saw you from across the room and I couldn’t help but wonder… is your father a thief by chance?”

Instantly, an expression of clear offense covers her features. A little line forms between her eyebrows as she frowns.“ Pardon me?”

“Well, I just have to assume he stole the stars and put them in yours eyes.”

A second of silence passes in which her frown gives way to confusion. The second she processes what you said a laugh tumbles from her lips and she slaps a hand over her mouth to muffle the rather loud sound.

Heat rushes up your neck to your face as she continues to laugh and more than a few eyes land on the two of you, plus the loud laughter of your friends coming from the booth a few feet away. Embarrassment floods your body and you wish the ground would swallow you whole right about now.

“Um, sorry,” you find yourself saying, a hand rubbing at the back of your neck,“ I- just- enjoy the rest of your night.”

Before you can even fully walk away, soft yet cold fingers circle your wrist and you turn back to see the woman looking at you. Amusement dances through her eyes and across her face as she studies you.

“I’m sorry, don’t go. I didn’t mean to laugh like that.” She gives an almost apologetic smile.“ I promise I’m not laughing at you, I just was taken off guard by where that went.” As she speaks, you pick up the accent in her voice.

Using her words as an invitation to keep talking, you ease back into the space by her seat.“ It’s okay, really, I know that was rather corny. My friends dared to do it and I did.”

Her head tilts in the slightest, her eyebrows slightly furrowed.“ Corny?” She questions.

At first you’re not sure what she means by reiterating it but the genuinely puzzled look in her eyes tells you she’s unfamiliar with the term.

“Oh, it means like, lame or unoriginal.” You try to explain, then adding,“ embarrassing.”

The way she looks at you after makes your breath catch in your throat. While you can’t quite place the expression in them, you now notice the brilliant color of her eyes, the low bar lights casting a golden glow in her green orbs.

Tongue darting out to wet her lips, fingers gingerly twirling the little red straw in her glass, she says,“ I don’t think it was corny,” she smiles a little,“ I thought it was quite cute.”

“Really?” Playfully you quirky a brow while leaning on the bar.“ Because I could’ve sworn you thought I was offending you by calling your father a thief.”

Yet again she laughs, hand over her mouth. Only this time, the cutest little snort sounds from her right before she does.

As her hand lands on your arm, laughter still spilling from her, you smile and resolve to keep eliciting that cute sound from her so long as she wants to be bothered by you.

It turns out, she wanted to be bothered by you all night.

From that moment on, the two of you never once stopped talking. You briefly paused after your friends closed out their tab and bid you goodbye, then you fell back into the enticing aura that the woman radiated.

You both nursed another drink or two, split an order of loaded french fries, and even discussed the music being played by the solo performer on stage. All throughout, you managed to ease ever closer to each other.

Having started with her hand on your arm then shifting to shoulders bumping, leaning closer to hear over the loud environment, fingers brushing while reaching for more fries, or her chest pressing against your arm as she moved to grab a napkin.

In the beginning you were sure she was just being friendly, entertaining you so as not to have you leaving the bar embarrassed by your poor pick-up line, but each conversation or lingering touch led you to believe maybe there was more there.

Still, even after last call was given and you paid for both of you before exiting the bar together, you never veered too far from the line of “friendly” despite your rapidly growing attraction to her.

Her hand slips around your arm as the two of you fall into step with each other, heading towards the parking lot.

The cool air feels incredible on your cheeks, warm from the drinks and sore from smiling so much. It also seems to make the woman a little cold though, or you assume so as she presses even closer to you.

“Um,” you clear your throat,“ how far back did you park?”

“I’m actually right here.” She points to a red hybrid car not but two spaces down.

In silence, you walk her the rest of the way to the car. She fishes her key out and unlocks it but neither of you make much of a move to leave after.

Looking around, you take in the darkening night and still lively surroundings before looking back. Green eyes are already on you, roaming over your face in an observant way that you’ve come to recognize.

“What?” You chuckle, ducking your gaze.

“Nothing,” she shakes her head.“ Just- thank you. It’s been a while since I’ve laughed so hard.”

That makes you smile, hand rubbing the back of your neck as you reply.“ No problem. I’ve been told I’m pretty funny. We can meet up again and I’ll give you my stand up routine,” you say teasingly, followed by a chuckle.

“Okay.” Her tone is void of any teasing, eyes holding serious interest. She digs into her pocket again and steps closer.

Taking your hand in one swift motion, she flips it palm up and click a pen, before gently writing on your hand.

“Call me,” she clicks the pen again and backs up to her door,“ I’d be more than happy to laugh at you.”

With a teasing smile and wink, she gracefully gets into her car, leaving you dumbstruck in the middle of the parking lot.

As she pulls off she waves and you do the same, still partly frozen.

Of all the things you expected of tonight, getting the number of a gorgeous woman wasn’t on the list. And it happened because of a stupid dare.

It’s after you’ve slipped into your car that you pull your phone out and tap on the most recent conversation.

‘Thanks.’ You send.

‘You’re welcome dumb dumb.’ - Darcy

* * * * * * * *

Taglist: @owloftheshadows @blackxwidowsxwife @b-5by5 @lostandsearching @iliketozoneout @alotofpockets @caspianalexander @yeeterthekeeper @ecruzsalaz @natasha-danvers @fayhar

[thequeenofneverland1]

Edward Cullen///Jealousy is everywhere

Request by @misskitty1912-blog: Hi can I request Edward Cullen x Plus size female reader is sam and dean Winchester sister and is best friends with Castiel and Gabriel x Stefan Salvatore featuring jealous elane and bella but elane is with Damon and bella is with Jacob

Warnings: Bella Swan and Elena Gilbert bashing, mentioned of tying to shoot, death but reborn, mentioned of Dean being a demon and your other brother Sam being a soulless, parents death and more probably

A/N: Stefan and Caroline are going to be a couple in here if you guys don't like it then don't read, but rather than that I hope you love it if you don’t let me know and I’ll unwrite but if you do enjoy and thank you for requesting love!!

You looked at your family picture frame as tears were falling down your cheeks as you kissed the frame and you felt Edward wrapped his arms around you and he kissed your forehead “oh sweetheart don’t cry.”

You wipe off your tears and you lay the frame down on your shared bed. "It's hard not to."

He grabbed your hands with a sad smile, "I know sweetie but seeing you cry breaks me."

You leaned against his chest as he comforted you. “It's been years that I haven’t seen my best friends and my brothers.”

He pressed a kiss on your shoulder as he played with your hair. “We can go see them whenever you want, sweetheart.”

you smiled as you looked at him with love, "I don't know if Dean is still a demon or if Sam is still soulless if so it’s dangerous for us to be near.”

“What about your friends? They haven’t contacted you with updates of your brothers?” He asked

You shook your head. “no they’re probably l still mad or too busy trying to find a way to bring my brothers back.”

Edward was about to say something else when he heard your phone get a message from Stefan Salvatore, and saw you read the message

“Honey what did he say?” He asked trying to hide his jealousy since you told him that you were Stefan first crush

You rolled your eyes playful since you know that Edward is being jealous. “My love you know that I only love you and that I only have eyes for you whatever Stefan or I felt it’s in the past.”

He crossed his arms as he rolled his eyes, not trying to smile "so what does he want?"

“He’s inviting us to his wedding with Caroline Forbes.” You showed him the invitation that you got from Stefan on your phone

He looked over your shoulder then he looked at you. “isn’t she friends with that girl who's jealous of your friendship with Stefan?”

Before putting your phone down you saved the invitation and texted Stefan that you were going. “not anymore she stopped being friends with Elena when she made Caroline choose between me and her.”

He laughed as he shook his head. “That's Karma, that's what happens when you make someone choose she deserves that and even more.”

“Why are you letting Stefan and Caroline invite Y/n to their wedding?” Elena asked angrily after finding out that they send you the wedding invitation

Damon crossed his arms. “It's not my wedding Elena, they have the right to invite whoever they want, it’s their wedding, not mine, I don’t know why you don’t like her, she’s a great woman.”

She fumed as she rolled her eyes, “what’s so great about her? She’s nothing but a boring and stupid woman.”

“Listen here Y/n’s is Stefan's best friend and Caroline sees her as a sister, so if you don’t want to be uninvited to the wedding I suggest you to be quiet and to show her respect when she comes. ” He warns being done with Elena bullshit and jealousy

“Then I am not going.” She sat down on the couch, crossing her arms

“Then don’t come, that's fine with me I would rather not have you come if you’re going to be complaining the whole time.” He stormed off ignoring Elena calls out

Your family and you are at Isle Esme For a couple of days to get some fresh air and to get away from people and everything

“Finally a nice family vacation for the first time ever since that accident.” Emmett said as he looked around.

“I know right two weeks far from stupid people and it’s stupid problems:” Rosalie said agreeing with her husband Emmett

“Y/n?” Alice asked, pulling you aside from them “I need to tell you something that I saw.”

“What’s up?” You asked sounding confused on what she’s going to tell you since that look on her it looks like it’s something serious

She looks over at the family who was laughing and talking then at you, “I saw that your blood family is trying to find a way to get in contact with you.”

“What?” You asked as tears started to fall down from your cheeks “how if dean is a demon and Sam is soulless? And my best friends are probably still mad at me. You saw how they reacted when I told them that I married Edward and that he turned me into a vampire.”

She grabbed your shoulders before pulling you into a hug as she rubbed your back “not anymore honey I saw that your brothers and best friends are going to make a trip to Forks anytime soon.”

You wiped off your tears and pulled away from Alice gently. “I’m really happy to hear that, but I’m scared of my brothers reaction when I tell them that I married a vampire and that he turned me.”

“I know, but they'll understand why Edward had it to do it, you were basically dying but he saved you and you were reborn as a vampire.” She tried to reassure you

“I honestly don't know me and my brothers grew up as hunters and they'll be asking what I was doing that almost caused me to lose my life and why I married Edward.” You told her

“I was planning if you're not ready to tell them that you're a vampire we can get you contact lenses that match your human color eyes.” She smiles

“That’s a good idea and I love it but wearing them will make my eyes really irritated like the other time that I tried to use them and also they will find out the truth one way or the other and I really do want them to find out from me rather than for them to find out from someone else.”

“Yeah, that would suck if they were to be told by someone else rather than you. Maybe if they heard it from you they’ll understand and hopefully be happy for you guys” she said with hope

You laughed “Probably but in my mind I’m not trying to picture them not trying to shoot him because after all they’re hunters and really overprotective of me and dating someone mostly if he’s a vampire they will get really crazy.”

She laughs too "Do you think your brothers would do that? even if Edward's is their brother in law.”

You nodded your head "Yeah even if Edward is their brother in law they would still go crazy when it comes to vampires and me you don't know how overprotected they would get when I would go hunting with them and when I would bring the men over just don't tell Edward.”

Bella and Jacob arrived in Mystic falls days earlier before the wedding since Elena told her to since she made a plan to ruin your happiness and she wants her to be included in the plan

“So What’s the Plan?” Bella asked

Elena hands Bella a glass of water "Oh you're going to love it!!”

Bella takes a sip as she smiles “ tell me I want to know!!”

"So her brothers are not aware of her being married and her being a vampire.” Elena smirks

Bella raised an eyebrow, "Not following."

“Okay, so Y/n and her family are hunters, I mean just her friends and her brothers so think how would they react to know that their sister is dating a supernatural? Mostly if she's one as well.” Elena explains with a smirk on her face

"Say what? A hunter turned into a vampire? it seems like she betrayed her kind. Man we could tell her brothers that she is dating one of the supernatural and that she's one.” Bella smirks as well

“There you go, so I sent them an anonymous email to come to Mystic falls and They responded with an ok and that they will be here.”

“I can’t wait to see that look on Y/N’s face covered with sadness and tears. ”Bella laughs“ having no one but the Cullens comforting her since her brothers will hate her.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think about that and what is going to make me more angry that not only will she be comforted by Cullens but by my boyfriend and friends as well.” Elena fumed

Bella crossed her arms "tell me about it, Jacob will also be comforting her too, what's so special about her?”

"I agree but anyways, let's plan what we're going to wear for the wedding."

“Are you sure it’s safe for us to go to Mystic falls? What if it’s a trap?” Sam asked concerned for the safety of his brother and me

“I doubt it, and yeah I know that the Person that sent us that gmail was anonymous. I believe there’s no harm in going.” Dean said trying to erase his brother worries

“I hope you're right brother.”

“I'll go with you guys.” Castiel volunteers

“Count me in.” Gabriel smiles hoping that Dean and Sam would let him go with them

Dean and Sam looked at each other to see if one another were okay with Gabriel coming, and he smiled when both Dean and Sam gave him a approval nod

you smiled when you saw your friends waiting for you and your family with happy smiles on their faces except for Elena and Bella who were crossing their arms

you thanked your husband for opening the door for you as Caroline run up to you, hugging you really fast, almost making you fall down

"I'm so happy that you're here you don't know how much I have missed you.” Caroline smiles as she lets out tears “I Feel like it’s been forever since I saw you.”

"Since my wedding where I got told that my parents were dead, and that my brothers were out there.” You smiled sadly “but today is not the time to be sad, tomorrow is your wedding.”

“The wedding is today, but I can't wait any longer.” Elena tells Bella

"Then what are we waiting for? let's go tell them.” Bella smiles as she and Elena went outside to talk to the four men that got here

You smiled as you were doing Caroline's hair "I'm so happy for you, you deserve this and more.”

she smiles back at you through the mirror "thank you!! and I want to thank you again for everything that you have done for Stefan and me.”

“So wait not only are you telling us that Y/n our sister is married to a vampire but she's one of them too.” Dean was hurt not because you're married and didn’t tell Him and Sam because he felt that he didn’t protect you enough

"Please tell us that this is a joke.” Sam sniffed “that she’s not a vampire.”

"I wish I was joking But it's true.” Elena fakes to be sad as Bella does too

"Where is she? We have to talk to her." Castiel asked upset both Gabriel and he knew about your wedding but he didn’t know that you are a vampire

"Follow us and I'll take you guys to go see her."

“Thank you.” Gabriel said walking with them as your brothers and Castiel follow behind

[stardewrotsession]

Note: I definitely stayed a little too close to some of their heart events, but I still think they’re cute.

When the Bachelors realize they have a crush on you:

Sam

- You two definitely were friends for a while until he realized his feelings for you.

- And honestly, he seems like the oblivious type to me, to the point where if someone flirted with him, he’d take it as a compliment and move on.

- With you however, it’s different.

- Any kind of flirt, tease, or joke would put a slight blush on his face.

- At first he didn’t really know why, you were his friend, and just his friend. Right?

- He just felt really comfortable with you, like he could talk about anything and you would just continue the conversation without any hesitation.

- In my opinion, he would start realizing his feelings for you once you started trying some of his hobbies. Like skateboarding.

- “Sam! You did a kick flip!”

- He’d have a huge grin on his face.

- “Yeah! I did!” He turns to you, his excitement taking over. “Do you wanna try?”

- Whether you knew how to skateboard or not, it wouldn’t matter to him. He’d teach you, skate with you, and try to impress you with his killer moves.

- Bonus points if you end up singing or playing an instrument with him. He would literally swoon.

- Whatever you wanted to do with him didn’t necessarily matter though. What really mattered to him was that you wanted to do it with him.

Sebastian

- When you two first met, he honestly didn’t think much of it.

- Like “Oh, a new farmer, cool.” And would shrug it off.

- But once you started visiting him, bringing him food and talking to him, he eventually warmed up to you.

- I think the moment you two really clicked, was when you would talk about your personal lives in front of the mountain lake.

- Although Demetrius wasn’t the worst dad, he definitely wasn’t the best. Constantly showing favoritism towards Maru, ignoring Sebastian, and bashing his work ethic.

- It was too much for Sebastian.

- He went to go out to smoke near the lake and there you were.

- “Hey Seb.”

- “Oh. Sorry. Didn’t realize you were here.”

- His eyes are still a bit red and puffy.

- “Are you okay…?”

- He wouldn’t respond at first, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets.

- “It’s fine. I was just leaving anyways I-“

- He stops when you sit down on the grass and pat the spot next to you.

- “Come sit with me.”

- He ended up venting the entire night, finally opening up about himself to you. Once he realized, he was deathly afraid of your response. What you’d think. What you’d say.

- But when you comforted him, actually listened and sat down with him, a huge weight he didn’t know he had was lifted off of his back.

- It was refreshing to him, to have someone who’d listen and sit in silence with him.

- He wouldn’t mind having you around as much anymore. Hell, after that night, he’d sometimes go out of his way to see you more. To show his thanks and appreciation. And maybe even more.

Harvey

- I think we all know Harvey is very, very shy when it comes to love or romance.

- In fact he’s shy around the town in general.

- When you first come to town, you can see that he clearly separates himself from the community unless he’s either working or exercising. But even when he’s exercising he doesn’t really socialize.

- Once you start helping him open up, going at his comfortable pace of expressing himself and socializing a little more, he’ll realize you’re not like the rest of the townsfolk.

- He’s not the type to go out of his way to talk to everyone, and in response not many people go out of their way to talk to him.

- But when you come by, coffee in hand, he doesn’t freeze up or feel uncomfortable around you.

- He does eventually start freezing up around you when he becomes self conscious and anxious about his own feelings.

- But you bring the best out of him after all. Why should he be afraid of that?

Alex

- I’m a little split on this boy.

- Because George isn’t exactly accepting of gay marriage at first, I think Alex might think similarly at first. It’s just the way he was raised.

- So if you are a girl, he would definitely throw out harmless flirts and pick up lines.

- If you are a boy however, I think he’d just hang out with you and spend time with you without the flirts/sexism.

- Regardless of gender, I think he’d start realizing his feelings later on.

- Opening up about his mom and his dad, talking about sports, thinking more and more about farming.

- Your support towards him becoming pro, you being there for him when others weren’t, and sunshine energy is probably what draws him to you more than anyone else (cough cough Haley).

- After your support, your comfort, just your presence. I’m sure that’s when he starts thinking more about the future, and how you’d play a part in it.

- Also side note, I think he starts reading and exercising his because because of you and I think that’s adorable.

Shane

- Honestly, I think it would have to be during his six heart scene, or at least the aftermath of it.

- What can I say, I’m unoriginal.

- All I can imagine is after Harvey pumps his stomach and he’s awake, he’s staring up at the ceiling, wondering to himself, “Why did they stop me?”

- He would eventually come to the conclusion that you, the farmer, cares about him.

- Like, actually cares about him.

- Ouch.

- But seriously, he would not be able to wrap his head about why you would stick by him, even at his lowest.

- It would take him a couple of weeks to really accept it.

- But after he does, he starts to fully embrace it and begins to change for the better. To finally quit drinking once and for all.

- Everytime he sees you, you’d be able to see his face light up a little.

- “Hey farmer. I just wanted to thank you for everything. I really needed that wake up call.”

Elliot

- As much as he loves romance stories with huge revelations and dramatic gestures, the way he realized he liked you wasn’t exactly huge.

- It was just how much you’d come over to support him, to talk to him and to make sure he wasn’t too lonely on the beach.

- Sure, he’d go to town to visit Leah, or to go to the saloon for a drink or two, but no one really came to him.

- It was such a nice surprise to see someone making their way to him, especially if their farm is across the town.

- Your support was what made him swoon.

- “Elliot! This draft is so good!”

- “The way you wrote this out was so beautiful and detailed, I felt like I was within the book.”

- “You’re an amazing writer Elliot.”

- He’s never had this kind of support back in the city. So to hear someone else, also from the city, talk so positively about him and his book?

- Let’s just say he had a lot more romantic book ideas in mind for the next few weeks.

[hinamie]

Do u have a favorite random detail about the atla au that isn’t yet connected to anything else to make sense but is so stuck in your brain?

honestly not to pat us on the back but most of the ideas sam and i have vaulted back and forth have been kind of .. /scarily/ well-integrated into the overall plot so i don't think there are too many stragglers ??? like fr its kind of wild how we'll toss something out and it just slots into place like it was Meant 2 happen

however i do have a favourite random detail i can share!! made th executive decision 2 make yuuji a Rock Nerd(tm) because /i/ love gems and shiny things and i am Projecting . like listen ok listen. image of tiny yuuji covered in dust bashing rocks tgt to try and find crystals inside (i did this as a child and got in trouble at recess,,, smth about them being scared id 'crush a finger' or 'lose an eye' smh . anyway yuuji can live my dream)

so yes not only is yuuji an earthbender he gets rly excited abt the Properties Of Rocks and Types Of Minerals n whenever he finds himself in a new environment he'll dedicate time to seeing what he can find in the cliffs,, i love him so much ok this is MY (co-owned) sandbox and I am gIVING this boy a gem collection >:(