#AND my worst challenge of all: try to do this project with only ONE (1) FONT

[faeryaesther]

Miami Open Presented by Itau ㅡ Rebrand Fan Project

This fan project is to bring a new look for one of the masters events of ATP and WTA Tours. Consisting of bright and warm colours, this project attempted to bring a new and modern look for the tournament while highlighting the important changes in necessary posts for the tournament. Designed by Faeryaesther, repostings are not allowed without permissions.

[csuitebitches]

Notes from my Critical Thinking workshop

Questions to ask yourself which looking at a project/ situation, etc.:

1. What assumptions are being made? “How do we know that for sure?”

2. Start with the objectives, the end results- and work backwards. Work for the best result. “What is the best that could happen and how would we get there?”

3. “What do alternatives look like?”

4. Write down what a hypothetical alternative look like. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

The 6 hat method

Challenge group think with Edward De Bono’s 6 Thinking Hats.

Can do this with a group or even individually, donning one hat at a time.

“"Six Thinking Hats" is a way of investigating an issue from a variety of perspectives, but in a clear, conflict-free way. It can be used by individuals or groups to move outside habitual ways of thinking, try out different approaches, and then think constructively about how to move forward.

The Six Thinking Hats technique gets you to look at a problem in six different ways. It takes you and your team beyond any instinctive positions, so that you explore a range of perspectives. That way, you can carefully consider each one, without having to argue your case or make snap decisions about what's "right" or "wrong."

By the time you've tried out all six hats, you should have a rich collection of insights that will help you to decide your next steps.”

Blue hat: “process”

- focus on organisation

- Planning for action

- What thinking is needed?

White hats: “facts”

- focus only on being neutral and objective

- Facts and data

- What do i need to find out

- How will i get the info i need?

Red hat: “feelings”

- my feelings about this right now - feelings can change

- Instincts, hunches, intuition

- No reasons are given

Yellow hat: “benefits”

- Why an idea is useful

- Positives

- Plus points

- Logical reasons are given

Black hat: “cautions”

- difficulties

- Weaknesses

- Dangers

- Spot the risks

- Logical reasons are given

Green hat: “creativity”

- solutions to black hat problems

- Ideas

- Alternatives

- Possibilities

[lean-mean-demon-genevieve]

More environmental virtue signaling from Gen today. She wants you to believe that 1.) magic fairies drop off these bags free of charge and evaporate your old sweaters into butterflies and 2.) that she actually gave away her designer jeans because she cares so much about saving the world.

Of course there’s a cost involved in these start-ups, this only makes sense. So you PAY for them to send you a bag to put your things into and then the return shipping is already paid for so long as it stays below a certain weight. There are several options but at minimum, one bag costs $14.50. A subscription option for 6 bags per year for $94 also exists. And that gets you access to their Rewards program.

But you won’t hear Gen mention any of that in her little ad or caption. Which is intentional.

While donating to your local charity shop is indeed free, there’s nothing saying that all or part of your donation doesn’t still end up in the trash. Especially if it’s rags already. They don’t pledge to resell, reuse, or recycle everything whereas Retold says this:

Clear as mud. Seriously, can someone translate that last sentence? Some of this sounds ok, but it also sounds like you’re paying them to use your textiles in their upcycling projects that they will continue to profit off of?

The Retold website also partners with several “sustainable” brands that you can purchase from their “Sustainable Store.” (Anyone else remember when Gen mentioned a storefront for the Towwn website?) And their rewards program goes something like this:

If you send them one scrap of cloth, they pledge to send you $15 in rewards but it doesn’t go back in your pocket like it says above. No, you get $15 worth of credit to spend on a bunch of brands you’ve never heard of. Here’s the link. I’ll wait for you to come back…

In case you’re not seeing it yet, the whole thing is a great big circle jerk of consumerism. It’s that image of the snake eating itself. Ain’t nothing for free. Especially not Gen and Towwn.

Here’s my point: Sustainability is a challenge. And I understand and appreciate anyone who wants to try to reduce their carbon footprint. But please stop treating this woman as if she is actually doing anything but patting herself on the back for profit.

If this bag still sounds like something you’d be willing to engage with, then that’s cool too. It’s not the worst trade off if you have the money to spare and if the textiles really do stay out of the landfill. I’m just here to be a good steward and to help you be an informed consumer. Per her branding for Towwn, Gen wouldn’t have it any other way. And whether you buy a bag or not, rest assured her check has already cleared.

[sicparvismorrigan]

Friendly Fire - Chapter Two: Acting Up

Ellie Thibodeaux holds arguably the worst job in Bridgehead City. She’s not a cook. She’s not even a cleaner. She’s the resident RDA psychiatrist, and her next assignment is helping the formerly deceased Project Phoenix come to terms with being brought back to life as an entirely different species.

Enter Colonel Miles Quaritch, the most reluctant, and most challenging patient she’s ever had the displeasure of treating.

James Cameron’s Avatar - The Way of Water (2022)

Recombinant Quaritch x ofc (currently professional/platonic, enemies/annoyances to friends, could be more & Quaritch x Paz Socorro

Warnings: mild swears

Tagging: @kmc1989 (lmk if you want added to the taglist!)

Read on Ao3

Chapter One | Chapter Three

Acting Up

That’s just the Colonel, sweetheart! Try harder next time, m’kay?

Try harder?

Like he wasn’t some impassable brick wall of a man…alien…whatever…that she had absolutely zero common ground with?

Nope. Just try harder.

Sure thing, boss.

Luckily, her other patients were gradually warming up to her. Wainfleet was surprisingly forthcoming, after he figured out that Tibbs wasn’t the only one who liked comic books. Just a big kid with a gun. Absolutely nothing to dissect there.

Zdinarsk had shyly asked for help managing her braid, then invited Ellie to “come hang” with her and the other recoms sometime, whatever that meant.

It was only Quaritch who was being deliberately obtuse.

But Ellie had another problem. She was the talk of Bridgehead. Sure, for the reason that the Colonel was her new patient. And for the bigger issue that somebody had blabbed about her missing arm. Now there were stares and sly sideways looks wherever she went. She couldn’t stand the whispering. It made her mad as all Hell that she was no longer invisible. That everybody knew her by sight and reputation, for her handicap.

I am not a victim. I am a survivor.

The mantra her very own ‘shrink’ had given her as armour. Over and over and over in her head.

Session Two did not get off to a good start. She’d have bet her next paycheque on Quaritch ditching her couch.

In fact, he’d shown up early. She was the one who was late by being on time.

Jeez, she couldn’t stand him. She was going to be extremely unprofessional in 3…2…1…

“Off the record, before we begin-“ Ellie spoke up as she lowered herself into her human-sized chair. “Can I have a word with you?”

“Sure thing, shrink-wrap.”

”Stop-“ She grumbled and rubbed her temples. “Hm. Kindly refrain from calling me that, please.”

“Since you asked nicely.”

Ellie sighed with relief. “Thank you.”

“I’ll save it for special occasions.”

She groaned out loud.

“And bank holidays.”

“You-…” Ellie faltered before regaining her rhythm and setting her mouth in a firm line. “Ugh, whatever.”

Quaritch was looking at her expectantly.

“So-“ She demanded. “Who’d you tell about my arm?!”

“Say what now?” He seemed genuinely surprised.

“People have been talking about me behind my back, since our last session.” She complained. “I don’t appreciate that. Not one bit.”

“Hey there-“ He held up a hand to hush her. ”I ain’t said shit about your rusty-ass arm!”

She regarded him suspiciously. His expression was genuine enough. ”Really?”

“Not a word.” The Colonel actually looked offended. “What, you think you’re the first handicap I’ve worked with?”

Of course she wasn’t. There was another.

“You ain’t special.” He huffed. “So you done actin’ up? Or what?”

“Well, somebody said something.” Ellie muttered.

“Good thing I’m not paying for your so-called help, ‘cause so far: not impressed. Un-pro-fess-io-nal.” He emphasised each syllable, making her cower down in embarrassment. “Now, where were we?”

Ellie hated it. Couldn't stand how he just took control over anything she tried to do.

”Oh yeah. That’s right…“ He leaned closer to her, fixing her with an intense stare. “What bit ya?”

”Nuh-uh.” Ellie shook her head. “Not doing it.”

“Come on now, Doc. Holding out on me will get you nowhere. I’m a patient man.”

Now she had him.

Ellie cocked an eyebrow, glancing up from her notebook. ”Man?”

A cheap shot. And it clearly stung like a mother. Fight instincts of both human and alien beast kicked in. Fists clenched and fangs bared before the Colonel could collect himself.

She didn’t so much as blink at his intimidation tactic and once again the room was plunged into silence.

“Hey now. Are you done-“ She spoke calmly, mimicking his tone, letting her lips curl upwards into a smirk. “-acting up?”

”Smart mouth.” He nodded slowly, almost appreciatively. “So tell me, what exactly did you plan on doing next?”

“Next?” She was lost.

“I could give you a disciplinary for your attitude towards a superior officer.” Ellie felt the beads of sweat break out on her forehead, even in the air-conned space. “Easily. But I’m interested to see how this plays out, so I’m gonna let that one slide.”

”Why?” She didn’t understand.

“That was a nice little spark.” He grinned. “Took you long enough. But I want to see if I can get you breathing fire.”

Ellie blinked, taken aback. Did he just green-light her to cuss him out?

It would be plumbing the depths of professional conduct for sure, but they didn’t exactly teach you how to deal with the dead resurrected in medical school.

Quaritch rolled his eyes at her, still gawping at him stupidly.

“Listen. Ardmore isn’t the only one around here who can get you the things you need.” He spelled it out for her. “Or want. So play nice.”

“Huh.” She mulled the thought over. Interesting.

“Talk.” He urged her.

Ellie sighed heavily. He really wasn’t going to drop it. May as well put the elephant in the room out of its misery.

Here we go.

”A former patient attacked me. I wanted to refer him to someone else, and he didn’t take it very well at all.” She explained quietly. ”He choked out my receptionist…then came after me.”

Quaritch nodded, his expression neutral. No shock, but no sympathy, no condolence either. “How’d you get away?”

There was a long pause.

”Barely.” She swallowed the bile back down as she finally answered. Trickle-feed the information.

Make the bond.

“I see.” The Colonel remained stony-faced. “Been there, kid.”

“Uh-huh.”

Not a victim not a victim not a victim.

“Listen, you ain’t the only one here got bit by something you staked your trust in.” Ellie’s head jerked, when Colonel spoke again, he sounded surprisingly gentle. “You just have the mighty fine privilege of still being alive in the traditional sense.”

“For the record-“ She admitted “-I spoke out against bringing you back, Quaritch.”

Hoo boy, that might sting too.

“That’s cold, girly.” The snarl was lingering around the corners of his mouth again, fangs glinting with every word. “You wanted me to stay dead, huh?”

“No rest for the wicked.” She answered dryly. “But maybe you deserve that.”

“Pretty sure the entire Na’vi population would agree with you there.” He nodded. “But a philosophiser you ain’t, you’re one of them other p-words that get paid a lot more.”

Ellie frowned, unsure if he was strategically calling her other bad names in lieu of shrink-wrap.

“Project Phoenix is unethical. But since there is no moral legislation for Pandoran natives, or recombinants, my hands are tied. I’ve been told to treat you, so I have to.” It was her turn to spell things out. “But, I’m not sure how much I can help someone who so clearly doesn’t want it.”

”True.” He agreed. “So then just give up.”

“No!” Ellie fired back. “What part don’t you get about I have to?”

“If you’re so convinced I’m beyond saving, Doc-“ He spread his hands out wide for emphasis “-why even bother? Throw in the towel.”

“I’ve been given this assignment by Ardmore.” “I need to see it through.” She insisted. “Even if you don’t get anything out of this…at least I tried.”

“Oh, I’m getting plenty.” The Colonel nodded. “But no job’s worth wasting your life on.”

”That what you tell your troops?” Project Phoenix was potentially a suicide mission.

“They know what’s at stake. And as for you…you ain’t got my respect, yet.” Quaritch smiled grimly. “But you have my attention, for now.”

“Maybe that’s enough.” Ellie suggested. “For us to work together.”

“Symbiosis.” He nodded. “I like a project.”

Ellie wrinkled her nose in indignation. He was supposed to be her project.

“My men tell me you’re alright.” Quaritch mentioned abruptly. “‘Tibbs ain’t as bad as the other science pukes’, that’s what they said.”

“Did they now?” Ellie’s interest was piqued.

“Where I’m from, that’s a hefty compliment.” He cocked his head, ears pricking up. “I heard Z offered you an invitation.”

“She did.”

”I also heard you ain’t taken her up on it yet.”Quaritch tutted and gave her a stern look that made her want to disappear down into her own boots, like a child being scolded. “Bad manners.”

“I, uh-…“ The scientists didn’t socialise with the recom soldiers. It wasn’t a hard-and-fast rule, but it might as well be.

“You’d do well to accept that offer, while it lasts.” He warned her. “Or I’ll go back to callin’ ya shrink-wrap.”

”I’ll think about it, Colonel.” Ellie offered a small smile.

“Good.” Finally, he seemed pleased about something. “Be seein’ ya then, kiddo.”

After he left, she sat for a long time, trying to analyse their session so she could write her report. Trying to analyse him.

Quaritch wasn’t the only one holding one Hell of a grudge. Who would stop at nothing for vengeance against those who had crossed them.

She understood. Because they were the same.

Ellie would have given another of her limbs to avenge the one she’d lost. To make the bastard that took her arm, and very nearly her life, suffer beyond belief.

She and the Colonel had more in common than either of them were willing to admit.

***

Thanks for reading!

[tealares]

ive spent so much time developing how i draw humans and people ,, starting to make an object show has been so much more refreshing than i thought itd be since i Dont really draw objects all that much so i thought id Hate making assets n stuff!!

i get to practice so much. !!

animation ... which i can do with humans too but with objects its more simplified since i only have to draw the limb movements (favourite part of animation) and also i get to learn how to use adobe animated better !!! i love the challenge!!

and and . inorganic shapes? ohh m ygod. They're the worst its so nice to get practice in!!!! i recently finished one of the assets for numby (calculator oc) and the feeling of getting it done is sooo Aweszozsme... it will be easier next time bc that is how!! skils work!! isnt that awesome??1?1?

ALSO BACKGROUNDS... i spent a good millenia figuring out how to make this mockup bg work... i still have to analyse how popular shows like jnj make their bgs so i dont encounter more problems than ik ill already encounter ( i am too ambitious with my ideas but its okay)

Writing has still been avoided for now........ i am Not a writer let alone good at dialogue. But i will employ the advice of friends despite the embarassment of showing my work to people and get good enough at it >v< maybe one day ill even be Actually Good. . .

honestly the best part of this is that im seeing a project get done!!! i get home and i spend a few hours per day making a cute object while watching videos and then i can doodle arms and eyes on it in a million ways amd even put it next to other objects of mine!! it feels so much more tangible than a singular illustration of mine, and thats bc ive been having illustrations/paintings as my main thing and main objective ever since like. 2018 when i really started trying to learn digital art.,,

i love art so much i Need to know every skill ever to do with drawing and modelling and animating and More. AA!! <333 if you stuck around to the end of this rant. Secret jhf (object show )mockup under the cut...

( ^^ Thisis NOT all the cast yet)

[reverienne]

self-rec tag game

I saw it making rounds on my dash and you know what? I'm doing it and I'm strongly encouraging @aylaaescar, @bluekaddis / @rainhowls-arts (yes, it's my wink wink nudge nudge for you to fill it twice), @czandziowata, @etoilebinaire, @lavampira - and anyone else who wants to - to also give it a try! 💕

Rules: Share five of your own fanworks (fic, art, etc.). Then, tag five more people to share the things they’ve made.

(Mind that my ao3 fics are currently only available to the logged in users. Sorry for the inconvenience!)

1. something you absolutely adore:

Sierra's ShoH MC, Odelinka! And my ShoH MC, Bogusia!

They were made as a matching set and turned into custom acrylic keychains. Their coming into existence was a turning point in my life and I'm not exaggerating when I'm saying that they made my life so much better. Here's to more chibi keychains in the future! <3

But! I've spent way too much time refreshing the page and marvelling at my coding for Achievement Unlocked not to also count it here. It's a 70-words-long coda for Episode II of Wayfarer and my second attempt at coding. A long break made my return to CSS more challenging than I'd like it to be, but I'm very pleased with the end result and I keep shoving this little fic into the faces of all people who are up to date with the public build of Wayfarer. I think that it's just neat.

2. something that was challenging to create: 

Worst Romance Ever was both my first fic for Dragon Age, first fic published on ao3, first fic shared publically in a veeeery long time and, most importantly, my first venture into CSS coding. It's an account of a dudebro gamer criticising Emerald Aeducan's romance route in the fictional remake of Dragon Age: Origins. (Don't get discouraged by its unfinished status - it's technically finished, I'm just going back and forth on whether I should upload a little extra.) There was so much I had to learn for this project! Frankly, nothing I've made ever since matched it in terms of intensity. The layout is not perfect and I'd like to rework it sometime in the future, but it's a testament of my persistence and I'm proud of it anyway! Also, that's how I discovered that I actually like CSS coding and want to dabble in more ao3 skins in the future! So, small steps. :)

3. something that makes you laugh (or smile, if that fits more comfortably):

Zarya of disapproval! Her judgemental face never fails to crack me up. (Gosh, I really need to draw some more for Mysticons...)

4. something that surprised you (in how it turned out, how much other people liked it, etc.):

spotkania o 8. rano na Zoomie, my ~200-words-long modern AU ficlet for Wayfarer! I wrote it on a whim, published it right after, in a bout of unhinged self-confidence wrote about it on Wayfarer's Discord server... but nothing could prepare me for the warm welcome this ficlet received! It was written entirely in Polish, it was as niche as it could get, and yet! One person actually confessed to reading it with the help of Google Translate. I'm still overjoyed just thinking about it.

I ended up translating it into English the very next day, another record for me, though 8 a.m. Zoom meetings most likely got lost in the notifs and didn't match the Polish version's popularity. Still, I love both! And if you played Episode I of Wayfarer and have a minute to spare, I recommend giving it a chance!

5. something you want other people to see:

I dare to say that my art of my blorbo, Serena Amell, is quite underrated. C'mon, with some tweaks suggested to me by my best friend, I really managed to make her look very cute!

[nothoughtsjust-vibes]

My take on the origins of Fizzmodeus. After Fizz's horrific accident, Ozzie decides to take him under his wing and help him to be able to perform again. And the longer they know each other, the more they're drawn to each other and the more they love each other.

Chapter 1: Turn My Dream Into a Nightmare

“Yeah, what is it?”

Ozzie would have been offended by the way Mammon answered the phone if he hadn’t always opened with that. “I heard there was a fire at that circus you had.”

“Yeah, bloody fuckin’ shame to lose all that money.”

The King of Lust rather thought it was more of a shame that people had lost their lives, but he wasn’t going to mention it. “There was an imp in that circus—Fizzarolli, I believe his name is. How is he? Did he survive?”

“Oh, he survived, but he might as well be dead for all the good he is now. No legs, no arms, almost no horns, most of his body burned to shit. Would’ve been better if he had died ‘cause then I wouldn’t have to pay his fuckin’ hospital bills.”

“Why are you doing that?” Ozzie asked, shifting in his office chair, and watching a silenced video on his computer of Fizzarolli performing. “I’m guessing it’s not out of the goodness of your heart.”

“Oh, fuck no. The rat was so popular that I’d get shit if I didn’t pay for his care. Not like there’s anything in it for me, since the little shit can’t make me money anymore.”

“That’s actually why I called. I was wondering if maybe I could take him off your hands.”

Suspicion crept into Mammon’s voice. “…Why? He’s no use to you—no use to anyone, really. Unless you wanna just turn him into a bloody sex toy.”

“I wanna help him.” Ozzie���s eyes drifted back to the video of the young imp swinging around a tent, a huge grin on his face. “I see potential in him, Mam. I wanna help him perform again.”

“He’s got no legs, Oz. Or arms or horns. He’s all white scar tissue and even his voice is wrecked. How the bloody hell do you think he can perform again when he can’t even wipe his own arse?”

“I can give him new limbs. You know I like a fun engineering challenge. Come on, Mam,” he added when the King of Greed still hesitated, “you just said yourself that he’s not making you money anymore. And I’ll pay to take him off your hands.”

“I’ll have a contract by the end of the day,” Mammon immediately replied. “And the sooner you get him to a hospital in Lust, the better.”

“Sounds good. Thanks, Mam.”

“Whatever. It’s your loss.”

**************

Fizz was in pain. Understatement, even through the meds and the fog. What was left of his horns burned and stung like when his claws were cut too short. But so much fucking worse. Almost every inch of his skin burned. And his body…

He kept his eyes on the blue ceiling of the Lust hospital, trying not to look down. His arms and legs were gone. Completely gone. But they still burned like they were there. And he could still smell his own flesh burning and dissolving. He could still see the bones in his arm right before he blacked out. The only part that didn’t hurt was his tail, and even that was uncomfortably stiff where he kept it curled against his body. He didn’t wanna let it dangle off the bed, though. He didn’t wanna somehow lose that too.

His mind drifted back to that night. How long ago was it? Long enough for his skin to heal enough that he didn’t need to be covered in bandages anymore. Was it even really his skin, though? He vaguely remembered someone saying something about skin grafts.

That night, though. His birthday, Blitzo, the fire, the explosion. The pain. Had Blitzo started the fire? Had he wanted to hurt Fizz? Why else would he run away? Why else would he never visit him? But why would Blitzo wanna hurt him? He just wanted to see him and get answers. But no one had told him anything about where Blitzo even was. Gritting his teeth, Fizz felt tears leak onto his ruined face. He hadn’t been allowed to see himself, but he could feel that he was ruined.

Ruined. That’s all he was now. He had no legs. No arms. His horns were shattered, his skin was nothing but scarring. He’d never perform again. He’d never be of any use ever again. He couldn’t stand, he couldn’t move except for squirming around like a fucking worm. He couldn’t even feed himself or wipe his own ass.

The tears came faster, and he whimpered, snotting all over the place because he couldn’t even blow his own goddamn nose. He managed to sorta wipe his nose on the light blue blanket, but all he did was get snot all over his face along with the blanket. He sighed and looked up at the ceiling again, sobbing quietly.

At least there was no one to see him be so disgusting. Cash and Barbie had visited him when he was still in Greed, and he’d gotten tons of shitty cards from fans and friends…except for Blitzo. His best friend had never even sent him a card or letter. And now that he was in Lust, no one else visited him, either.

Looking down at his mutilated body, he wished he was dead. Because being dead was better than being some worthless, broken thing who could only lay in bed and cry. And the pain. If it was this bad with meds, he didn’t know if he could survive without them. He was broken. And whoever had paid to have him brought to Lust was gonna regret it as soon as they saw how broken and useless he was.

There was a light knock on the purple door and a familiar succubus nurse came in. Fizz didn’t remember her name, but he remembered that she was nice. She almost didn’t make him feel bad about how disgusting he was.

“Morning,” she greeted with a smile and tone that were cheerful, but not annoyingly cheerful. She was casual and talked to him like he was a person and not a stupid baby. “You in pain?”

He nodded. He didn’t like talking anymore. Aside from the fact that his throat and lungs still felt scorched, his voice sounded like an old man who’d smoked two packs a day for sixty years. He hated it so much and he hated it when the other doctors and nurses made him talk. At least this nurse—Lexa, according to her nametag—didn’t do that.

“Is it bad?” she asked, moving to the bedside table, and using a purple hand towel and a bowl of water to carefully clean off his face. When he nodded at her question, she turned to the IV bag (the needle to which was stuck in his fucking neck) and adjusted the switches. “You hungry?” She nodded to the breakfast tray an orderly left.

Fizz shook his head. Actually, he was really hungry, but he wasn’t up to having someone feed him. That was when nurses were the worst about talking to him like he was a baby.

Lexa adjusted the switch on his nutritional IV bag and smiled at him again. “You wanna sit up and watch some TV?” He nodded, so she pushed the button on his bed to sit him up and went through the channels with him, landing on an adult cartoon.

While he stared at the screen, she changed his bandages and put sweet-smelling ointment on what was left of his horns. He wanted to know what it was and why it smelled like that, but he didn’t feel like putting in the effort of asking.

When she treated his ruined legs and shoulders, he looked in the opposite direction until she was done.

“You want company?” she asked when she took her gloves off.

He nodded again and she sat in the armchair beside him. They watched the cartoon in silence, but that suited Fizz. He didn’t wanna talk and he also didn’t wanna hear someone try to force conversation or tell him it was gonna be okay and that he was so strong. Yeah, so strong that he couldn’t even go to the bathroom on his own.

When Lexa had to leave, she smiled one last time and gave his face a little rub. Since that was about the only place he could be touched. Sighing quietly, he eyed the pitcher of water on the side table and almost wished he’d asked Lexa to give him some. His throat hurt so bad, and his lips were so dry that licking them only worked for about two seconds.

Letting his tail fall off the bed, he moved it around to try to get rid of the stiffness. Slowly, he raised it to the pitcher and wrapped it around the handle. But when he tried lifting it, he barely got it three inches up, shaking the entire time.

“Fuck,” he croaked with fresh sobs, letting the pitcher drop back to the table and curling his tail back against his side. His stupid tail shouldn’t be that weak. He should be able to lift a stupid pitcher to get himself a glass of water. Why the fuck hadn’t he just died? Why did the doctors work so hard to keep him alive when he wasn’t worth the effort? How was he supposed to go through the rest of his life when he was nothing but a pitiful, worthless burden? He couldn’t be of any use to anyone, so he might as well just die. Maybe he could drown himself in a bathtub. If he could get the nurses to actually leave him alone when he was taking a bath.

His tears had stopped, and he was staring numbly at the TV when there was another knock on the door and some incubus nurse opened it.

“Are you up for a visitor?” No greeting, no asking if he was in pain (which he wasn’t anymore, but still).

He nodded. Maybe it was Cash or Babie finally able to get to Lust.

The nurse left and the demon who came in was no one he’d ever seen before. He was a massive chimera with rooster feathers, a blue mane, and a ram and bull face on either side of his main face. His shoulders were wide, and his waist was tiny and if they’d met at any other time, Fizz would’ve thought he was hot.

“Fizzarolli?” The demon’s voice was like warm chocolate as he removed his top hat and took the seat beside Fizz, crossing one leg over the other. “My name is Asmodeus, but you can call me Oz or Ozzie.”

Asmodeus…It hit him suddenly and his eyes widened. Asmodeus, the King of Lust. Why would the King of Lust want anything to do with him? Maybe he wanted to use Fizz as a sex toy. Pretty much the only thing he was good for at that point.

“Um…hi.” He winced as he heard the sound of his voice, all chainsaw and gravel. And it made his throat hurt worse.

“Are you thirsty?” Asmodeus—Ozzie—asked him. Whether it was the king’s comforting energy or just the fact that the dryness and thirst were agonizing, Fizz nodded. Ozzie poured a glass of water and held it up to Fizz’s mouth.

The cool water was so refreshing and so fucking welcome that he downed the glass as fast as he could. When it was empty, he gently leaned back against the pillows, breathing heavily.

“Have they…Have they not been giving you water here?” Ozzie asked, his faces shockingly worried.

Fizz shook his head, wincing at the headache that suddenly bloomed. “They…They’ve been good. I was just thirsty. Everyone’s been fine here.” It was the most he’d talked since before the fire. It still hurt, but the water helped a lot.

Ozzie looked skeptical, but he let it go. “Anyway, I’m here to offer you a position at my club. I’ve been looking for a new emcee and I think you’d be a perfect fit.”

Oh. The king was making fun of him. He wasn’t actually serious. He couldn’t be. That’s all Fizz was now, something to laugh at.

“What’s wrong?” Ozzie asked, all pretend concern. “Was it something I said? Are you in pain?”

“If you’re just gonna make fun of me…please don’t.” Fizz’s voice cracked like kindling, and he looked away, tears in his eyes again.

When the king spoke again, he sounded hurt. “Fizzarolli, I am not making fun of you. I promise.”

“Well, you can’t be serious!” His head whipped over to Asmodeus, the fucking tears pouring again. “You can’t actually expect me to do anything, much less be an emcee. Look at me, I’m useless. I’m so fucking pitiful that I can’t even get myself water. I’m…I’m broken.” His head fell to his chest, sobs wracking his ruined body.

Soft, giant fingers gently tilted his head back up and the way Ozzie was looking at him was unlike anything he’d seen before. It was warmth and compassion and way more care than Fizz had seen even from the nurses.

“I want you to listen to me, Fizzarolli.” His voice was pleading, like he was asking Fizz to listen instead of ordering him to. “You are not useless, you are not pitiful, and you are not broken.”

Fizz wanted to protest, to argue that he obviously was. “But—”

“No. No buts. What happened to you is horrible, but it’s not the end.” He removed his hand and sat back in his chair. “I’ve been working on some prosthetics for you. State-of-the-art cybernetic arms and legs that will allow you to perform like never before. If you want them.”

Hope filled Fizz’s gut and his eyes widened. “I could…I could walk again?”

“And a lot more than that. Here.” Ozzie pulled out his phone and showed him blueprints that he didn’t understand and designs that he understood better. The arms and legs were black metal with blue stripes of light and blue hearts of light on the shoulders. The feet were high heels for some reason, but they were still feet. No matter what they looked like, they were still limbs. And they could be his.

“What do I have to do for them?” he asked with growing eagerness and desperation.

“Nothing.”

That didn’t sound right. “Nothing? Really?”

“Well, like I said, my goal is to convince you to be my new emcee, but if you don’t want to, then I’m not gonna keep them from you. They’re a gift.” Ozzie’s smile was so genuine and sweet that Fizz wanted to do whatever he could to keep seeing it.

“Why me?” His voice trembled as he shifted around a little. “You could easily get someone else who doesn’t need so much effort. Why me?”

“Because you’re you. The one and only Fizzarolli, capturing the attention of everyone who sees you. I’ve been watching videos of you in the circus and you are one of the brightest stars I have seen in a long time. You’re funny, charismatic, and so talented. I’d hate for all that potential to be lost just because of some accident.”

It was like Fizz’s nightmare of a life had turned into a good dream. He really had the King of Lust offering him an amazing job and fancy new limbs for free. He really could perform again. He could live again. He looked up at the Sin with wonder and amazement and gratitude. “Thank you.”

That soothing smile grew and Ozzie gently caressed the side of his face, his touch soft and comforting. “Anything for you, Fizzarolli.”

“You, um, you can call me Fizz. Or Fizzie, I guess.” He shrugged as much as he could and gave Ozzie a tentative smile.

“Anything for you, Fizzie. So,” he removed his hand, but the smile stayed, “does this mean you’d like to be my new emcee?” He pressed his hands together in an adorable pleading gesture.

“Yeah,” Fizz replied, his smile bigger. “I’d love to.”

[kinfeelings]

30-day fictionkind challenge...all in 1 go!

My kintype is a (psychological? spiritual?) vaporeon pokémon whose sex I don't even know yet. Equal chances of being male or female. I'm trying to figure out if I'm in fact a feral one, likely abandoned someplace wild by an irresponsible human ex-owner as an eevee? Maybe?

My dysphoria is pretty light tbh. I used to absolutely despise being human when I was younger and full of debilitating self-hatred. I've gotten much better and healed since then, and I accept that I live in a human body; it's really not so bad. Hence why I call myself "alterhuman" instead of just "nonhuman" entirely. Still can't avoid nor ignore my otherness though, and I don't want to.

I am exclusively open with only some of my online circles about being alterhuman. Nobody I know IRL would understand at all. I'm okay with keeping certain things to myself.

I participate in the Pokémon fandom regularly! I play the games, occasionally watch the anime, and make my own AUs and fanfics and fanart. It's fun.

I often fictionflicker! Mostly for two particular (and very AU) protagonists (Randy Cunningham from RC9GN, and Jack Spicer from Xiaolin Showdown) of my biggest fanfiction/crossover project Retoldverse which I have a blog for here: @retoldverse-crossover-au. It's not a sideblog, I made my own separate new email/account for it to be its own mainblog. Not extremely active but ok I'm done self-plugging...as for other flickers, do other pokémon species count lol?

When I was a teen on Tumblr I gradually began hearing about "otherkin" and after while the mentions became so frequent on my dash, not always in a good light, that I decided to look into 'em and I at first was leery because it seemed very mockable but at the same time the notion seemed familiar to me in a strange way. I must've been...16 maybe? Maybe a little younger. I've been here ever since.

My introduction to fictionkin was basically what I said in #6 lol.

I am similar to vaporeon in that I like being in pools, rivers, and beaches. I can't fuckin' swim though...I sink like a rock whenever I try.

I don't look anything like a vaporeon whatsoever.

@aestherians

I know/have seen a bunch of fictionkin of all kinds.

Never had a canonmate. It would be nice to have at least one.

I doubt it's possible for there to be a double of my kintype because I am just a random vaporeon, not canon to any existing media at all.

Shifts are nice. I get them most often when I'm in or near a body of moving freshwater, less so but still noticeably when I'm in a manmade pool, or when I'm watching environment ambience videos about lakes/river sounds/visuals on YouTube. It can also happen randomly, just springing up on me suddenly.

I don't like KFF, especially not the ones who actually know and understand what they're doing and still do it anyway.

I like symbols/flags/etc. They're neat.

I used to think my kintype was spiritual but now I'm not so sure. More likely psychological and parallel-lifey?

It definitely has something to do with my neurodivergence yeah. I'm autistic.

Nobody's ever pointed out to me that I'm "like a vaporeon" in any sense.

I would like to buy more vaporeon merch one day, probably stuff from Etsy. I have an art charm of a normal vaporeon and a shiny one on the opposite side attached to my wallet currently, I bought it from the Etsy store LoafiDoodles. Totally recommend!

I can't really think of anything I'd change about the fictionkin community tbh.

I appreciate the open-mindedness of the fictionkin community in general, and also in the entire otherkin umbrella.

I can get pretty obsessive over Pokémon in all honesty lol.

The worst anti-fictionkin take I've seen is one we're probably all familiar with: "You're delusional, you're schizophrenic, you're trying and wanting to be something you're not." I hate hearing it.

Haven't seen any "best" anti-fictionkin arguments, imo.

I like listening to environmental ambience of running freshwater like I said before. Not really music except for abstractly.

Sea lions!

I have a favorites folder on DeviantArt just for vaporeon fanart that I really love.

I love fish tacos and I like to float in swimming pools and wade in rivers whenever I get the chance to and the weather is right.

It's pretty cool being a vaporeon, overall. I wouldn't change it.

Link to the blank challenge.

Did it all in a single post because I'd most certainly forget to complete it day-by-day if I did it the normal way.

[dearunknown]

05/27-28/23 (late night saturday, actually early sunday)

Dear Unknown,

Just got back from the DJ set. I did horribly. I feel so embarrassed I could die. I wish I’d gone to the hospital instead of honoring a commitment. Oh, well. Ezra and I left very quickly. I made us leave very quickly. I want to cry but am too ashamed to cry over something so miserable and stupid. Plus I don’t want anyone’s comfort. I don’t want a kind word or a kind touch from Ezra. Even Caro… well, I’d let Caro do anything to me.

As soon as I got home, I tore off my wristband (yellow) and wrote on it in black sharpie MY LAST DJ SET - 12 AM-1 AM 5/27-28, 2023 WORK.SHOP and put it at a perfect spot so that every morning almost inevitably upon waking up I will be reminded of my laziness, inadequacy, stupidity, vanity, — my weaknesses— and be reminded that I should never try for anything ever, ever again. I should take all my ambitions, all my desires, and shove them away. Nothing is ever going to happen for me. Nothing. The fact that I have a poor-paying but basically respectable job only serves to highlight the absurdity of my life. I want to let myself lose. I want to let myself lose control. I’m over it. I’m over my life. The wanton optimism of my 29 is putrid. It was rotten on the vine. I am a bad, weak, stupid person. I will not make it. I will not break out of my life. Continue living as a hollow vessel, or hang myself. The distinction is completely irrelevant. If I’m alive, that’s just a biological fact. I am the ancient mariner, my albatross is this horrible life I’ve made for myself. My soul is in complete squalor. I am less than anything. I am sorry to darken anyone’s doorstep. When Caro moves to New York, I will throw myself completely to drunkenness and desolate emptiness. I will probably stop taking any ADHD meds this summer, and my antidepressants after Caro leaves. I will be so contemptible and broken. Every day of drinking I will finish with my usual melange of klonopin and trazodone. One day might heart might feel slow enough I can feel it’s loss of feeling. 

Today I talked to Nikolai on the phone. He made me promise to give Ezra my credit cards. He also told me to do the same with my alcohol, but I’m not doing that. 

I hope tomorrow I feel horrible. I hope the next day, I feel worse. I hope every day becomes more of a curse than the last. In the end, my one heroism will be that I endured for so long. 

I will accomplish nothing. I cannot be loved except for the mirages I put up of myself. I should withdraw from anyone who I am not forced to associate with. I will lavish all of my energy upon Caro before they leave. And as they drive away, I will see my future approach the horizon line. And I will collapse into my curse. I only have to be alive for 2 more months, maybe 3 or 4 at most. 

Nikolai thinks I’m borderline. He also said that people who are in happy relationships don’t think (as I do of Ezra) about how they wish their partner hated them so much they would break up with them. I hope… I hope it isn’t alcoholism that does it. Although I am completely intent on being an alcoholic now, I hope that’s not what destroys this relationship. How banal. I hope he just grows to see me as I am, as the most contemptible woman. I have done so much evil to Ezra, but the worst thing I have done is certainly make him think he needs me, or wants me, or loves me. I am a ball of maggots projecting the image of a woman.

I hope my mother knows she did this to me. My grandmother did this to me. My aunt did this to me. The world did this to me. But really, I DID THIS TO ME. 

I’m never listening to my therapist again when she encourages me to do something challenging. What a waste of everyone else’s time. I’m always going to be a waste of everyone’s time.

Thank you for listening. I hope you’re doing well. I’m sorry to be so self-centered. If you could write me back, I would attentively pour over your letters. I wish you weren’t so unknown to me. 

Love, 

Elizabeth

[alexzandriathegood]

I’ll admit it, occasionally I indulge in a little woo woo shit. Since we exist in the same timeline, I don’t have to tell you that it is a challenge to exist peacefully - not only out in the world - but inside oneself. Mental health requires maintenance. Introspection is a dire necessity. 

When I mentioned the “woo woo” astrology probably came to mind. Honestly, beyond laughing at the occasional “Scorpios are like…” or “avoid Geminis like the plague” joke I don’t really get into horoscope stuff too much. I also don’t keep up with my inspiring quote journal (which was prudently color coded and organized by type and name) anymore. I’m actually embarrassed to admit it featured words from Russel Brand. 2020 was a tough year! 

However, I did manage to expand my spiritual toolbox in healthy ways by incorporating a little something called “Mirror Work.” It’s the strange practice of speaking to yourself out loud in the mirror. Worst case it brings up images of psychopathic, power hungry men droning on about their future conquests (i.e. Patrick Bateman as the American Psycho or his spiritual son, Tyrell Wellick. “I will be the CTO!”). Best case it looks like me saying something really sweet to myself and tearing up a little bit.

We ALL need positive encouragement. 

You may be asking yourself why should I entertain this practice? Mirror work is a tool to bring about positive change and it is completely unrestricted. You don’t need anyone else to do this positive thing for yourself. In fact, it’s best if no one else is around. All you got to do is (1) create some affirming things to say (2) say them into a mirror. If you are direct and honest throughout this process it can really start to take a hold of you. Just as a thoughtless, hurtful statement can affect you on a visceral level, a thoughtfully put together positive statement can do the same. 

If you’ve been told repeatedly directly or indirectly that you are deficient in some way, then that feedback has undoubtedly shaped the way you live your life. It may have shaped your life so significantly that you begin to think it was all an individual choice. However, in reality we are interacting with so many ideas created by other people that are communicated to us through misunderstandings, body language, tone of voice, advertisements, social media, and overhearing conversations. We have to take time to digest what we are exposed to and separate fact from fiction. Mirror work is my fact making process. I set my intentions for my own growth. I ask myself for clarity. I return to check in. And most of all, I truly believe that I can make a difference in my own life. 

My latest art project, “Meditation Portals” has me all in my feelings. They’re magnetic glass prints bursting with colors that radiate happiness in my soul. Yes, I unashamedly feel this comfortable with something I am actually responsible for. Talk about growth. Anyways, so one day I was enjoying a print in my living room and I saw my own reflection within the piece. It was weird. I stepped away to not see myself and that decision was provocative to me. “Why,” I asked “am I trying to erase myself from this moment?” Why are we constantly trying to erase ourselves? Is there anything we can do to restore our esteem and move about more positively in the world? The answer is yes. It may not specifically be Mirror Work, but, I’d specifically like to challenge you to try it for yourself. Also, check out my art shop feelthegood.bigcartel.com. Watch the companion video to this blog to learn how to get started with Mirror Work here: https://youtu.be/C387SK0vSuY

[mrsalwayswrite]

Temptation (Sigtryggr x Reader) Part 2

Summary: When you were hired as the new secretary, you had no idea your boss was the embodiment of a sex god. And by then, it was too late to quit. Can you keep your relationship strictly professional or will the temptation become too much? 

Here's the second part for my contribution to @punkrocknpearls trope challenge! I hope you like it!

Warnings: mild sexual content, siblings being the worst, sexual tension

Words: 4500

Catch up with Part 1

Weeks passed into months and before you realized it, the one year anniversary of your employment was just around the corner. 

All that time though, neither you nor your dreamboat boss brought up the kiss you shared at the holiday party. It remained unacknowledged yet unforgotten like a painting on a wall that you've passed by too many times to really notice anymore. Instead the both of you seamlessly returned to work like nothing had happened.

Eventually you came to terms with that. Your crush on him had only grown as time passed but you only allowed it to leak out when you were home alone. You valued him too much as a boss and respected him as a person to try and seduce him or whatever it was your raging libido begged for. He was your friend, and you were alright with that. Even if his god-like sex appeal still knocked you to your knees on occassion. 

Besides, if he was even remotely interested in you, would he not have said something already? The kiss was the perfect opportunity. This only confirmed to you, he would never see you in a romantic light. 

*****

You grabbed the stack of papers faxed over, making sure to straighten them neatly. With a smile to the receptionist situated in the small lobby, you headed back to Sigtryggr's office. The door was open but you still did a brief rap to announce your presence. He had told you long ago it was unnecessary, that if his door was open then you were free to enter. It felt unprofessional for you to just waltz into his office, so you compromised. 

Sitting behind his dark wood desk, he looked up from his open laptop. His Thor's hammer necklace dangled over his blue tie, matching the shade of blue of his eyes causing them to pop in a riveting way. The all black suit underneath enhanced his muscular frame and the slightly dangerous aura that clung to his shadow. The man looked like he had just stepped out of a GQ magazine every day, but today in particular, he appeared ready to dominate the world. 

He could dominate you any way that he wanted….

Seeing you in the doorway, the corners of his lips tilted up in a small smile. "Come in."

Smiling back, you monkey-stomped any thoughts of him dominating you. That ship had sailed long ago and was clearly never returning to shore. He was your boss and your friend. That was all the 'relationship' you would ever experience with him. So you resigned yourself to admiring what was on the menu but knowing you would never be allowed to order off of it. 

"I've got the forms that Uhtred's office faxed over." You stated as you walked over to set the stack on his desk. "I've double checked them but I think it'd be prudent for Wolland to look over the second to last page before you sign them off. He knows the exact numbers needed for the project." 

He nodded solemnly, moving the stack of forms beside his laptop. "I'll let Wolland know." Then those vibrant blue eyes met yours again, but with a glimmer of teasing in them. "Any flirtatious notes I should be aware of?"

"That was one time!"  

"I do not think I will ever look at Finan the same."

You shook your head, even as a huge grin lit up your face. Uhtred had been in your life for many years as a family friend, and because of that, you had known Finan for just as long. The two for them were a packaged deal, not just in business but in their personal lives. There was a brotherhood that bound the two of them, something you had thought only comparable to friendships in books and movies.

And while you had come to see Uhtred as an adopted uncle….Finan was his flavor of something special.  Although there was nothing romantic between you and Finan, it did not stop him from flirting with you. Of course, you fought fire with fire. Your flirtatious banter and teasing had become a running joke for the past several years. 

After you were hired by Sigtryggr, somehow Finan learned you were the one to typically go through the faxes sent by Uhtred's office. You still had yet to discover how he learned this information. Thus Finan put it upon himself to sneak in random, flirty messages amongst the many forms. Normally you made a point to go through the forms, confirming you received everything you were expecting, but also slipping out the additional paper with Finan's humorous message. 

Unfortunately, one time you were otherwise distracted and did not go through the forms as thoroughly as you typically did. Sigtryggr found it, tucked between some important forms, and consequently, it happened to be one of Finan's more risqué pick up lines. 

The memory of Sigtryggr standing beside your desk, with a stoic face, a single eyebrow raised and holding up the form for you to read, would forever be burned into your memory. After the initial mortification, you burst into riotous laughter. Eventually, you explained the situation to your boss, who oddly seemed relieved to hear it was only meant to make each other laugh. 

You leaned your hip against the side of his desk. "Also, I did get in touch with Constantin's secretary and he is able to meet in two weeks, either that Wednesday or Friday. But he is demanding to meet in person at the location. He wishes to view the land he would be purchasing as the two of you work out a bargain. At least that's how his assistant described it."

Sigtryggr hummed, running a hand over his chin. "I would expect nothing less from the Scot. He seems a good man. I will personally return the call."

"If you're certain. I thought you were supposed to be leaving early today. Wolland put in the calendar that you had plans?"

"Yes, but it can wait."

"I don't mind–" 

But your response was cut off when you heard the receptionist shout from down the hallway, "you can't go back there, sir!"

Before you could even blink, Sigtryggr's hand latched around your wrist and tugged you back behind him in the same fluid motion as he rose from his chair. He stared at the doorway, his solid, immobile frame shielding you from the unknown. At any other time you would have swooned, but the panic dripping like faucet in your blood prevented that. Your free hand gripped his hand, it now sandwiched between both of yours. A childish action bore from fear but he only gripped onto you tighter. 

Rushed, stomping footfalls could be heard coming down the short hallway followed by the hasty, almost stumbling clip-clip of the main receptionist's high heels following the invader. 

Then a voice echoed in the hallway along with the incoming footsteps. "Siggy! Siggy! Siggyyyyyy!!!"

What tension humming in his body immediately drained, like a plug being pulled. Releasing a deep sigh, his head tipped back to stare up at the ceiling as he mumbled, "oh, for the love of Odin." 

"Sigtryggr." You whispered. The concern and slight panic still sloshed around in your chest. Your boss had gone from relaxed to abruptly protective and on edge to now to some kind of resigned languid. The emotional whiplash left you clinging to him and your gaze darting from him to the door and back. 

In response, he rubbed his thumb gently over the back of your hand. Of course, your heart chose to skip a beat at the simple action. "It's fine." He murmured reassuringly, yet never let go of you. 

Seconds later, a man strutted through the open doorway in a pair of dirty jeans with a t-shirt and a wrinkled suit jacket over the top. With long brown hair and a day or two's worth of stubble on his face, 'disheveled' was the first adjective your mind thought of. Once his eyes locked on Sigtryggr, his whole face brightened and he threw his arms wide, almost knocking over a plaque hanging on the wall. "Siggy!"

The receptionist rounded the corner with a scowl on her face. Her gaze jumped from the intruder to her boss and back, seemingly taking a moment to debate the best course of action. Then making her decision, she placed one of her hands on her hips and opened her mouth, about to unleash upon the unexpected guest, when Sigtryggr spoke up. 

"Kristin, I can handle it. Thank you." Sigtryggr soothed the obviously ruffled woman. 

"Yes, sir." The woman huffed, side-eyeing the invader. "Let me know if I need to call security to escort him out." 

The stranger dramatically blew an air kiss at her before plopping himself into a cushioned chair against a wall, like he owned the place. 

The receptionist startled, as if physically struck by the air kiss. After a sharp inhale, she spun on her heel and stormed away, the sound of her heels retreating down the hallway. 

Sigtryggr finally released your hand, giving it a brief, reassuring squeeze first. Leaning forward, he placed both hands on the desk as if to ground himself. The silence in the room was stifling and you could not help but fidget awkwardly. Should you leave? Should you stay? Who was this man that sat watching your boss with an amused grin on his face, twirling a pen around his fingers like a rockstar with drumsticks. 

After a long moment, your boss tapped his desk with three short raps before lifting his gaze to the man. "Valdi, what are you doing here?"

"I came to get you!" The man exclaimed, his sudden burst of enthusiasm making you jump, especially after the tense, silent moment preceding it. The man leaned forward, placing his hands on his knees, his long hair falling over his shoulders. "You didn't forget already? No, no! You couldn't! Wolland said he put it in your schedule. The Jolly Boys of Eoferwic are going out tonight to celebrate!"

Sigtryggr sighed, running a hand through his hair. "No, I did not forget. I said I would be there at six."

"Andddd….I think that's too long. Haesten is already waiting for us, and we can pick up Wolland on the way! Please, please, brother. You promised!" He clasped his hands together as if in prayer, his eyes wide and beseeching. 

"Freyja's tits." Sigtryggr groaned. "Fine."

"Ah, yes! That's why you're my favorite brother!"

"I'm your only brother."

"Still my favorite." He shrugged, his eyes drifting over to you. "And who's this? Is she coming?"

Sigtryggr sighed, tapping the desk again before making the introductions. "Valdi, this is my personal secretary. Y/n, this is my younger brother, Rognvaldr."

So this was the infamous brother you had heard stories of, from both your boss and Wolland. Seeing him now, you understood their grievances and amusement a bit better. "It's a pleasure to meet you." You replied, granting him a small smile. 

He beamed back at you. "Oh believe me, the pleasure is mine to meet such a beautiful woman as yourself." He winked but in the next instant, his smile dropped and his eyes widened. His gaze rapidly jumped from you to Sigtryggr and back, an almost manic gleam shining in his eyes. "Y/n! Oh! OH! This is her? The one you talk about all the time?"

…and all your functioning brain power skidded to an abrupt halt. 

Huh?

Your brain sluggishly tried to make sense of Rognvaldr's rambling but it felt like mist slipping through your fingers. Slowly, you turned your head, looking to your boss for direction or confirmation. Something to understand what was going on. 

Rather you bore witness to Sigtryggr with a hand over his mouth, eyes narrowed at his brother, and mumbling 'fuck' on repeat. 

Clearly Rognvaldr was missing a few social cues, or was just unaware of the rising tension in the room. Instead he seemed to get more excited, practically bouncing in his seat as he proceeded to spew his verbal diarrhea of gathered knowledge. 

"I still don't understand why you haven't let me meet her before. She's very pretty. Wolland said your first kiss was at the holiday party while Haesten thinks it was earlier than that, but Wolland said with how dazed and giddy you were the rest of the evening, that it was certainly your first kiss with her but Haesten said it wasn't really a kiss since there wasn't tongue. Oh! Now I can tell father I met her first! You know he wants to meet her because you talk about her so much. Have you humped yet? Holy hell, did you do it in here? I know I'm not one for being the most hygienic person but even that is disgusting. Well, you probably know this already but Siggy's bed is massive and soft. He let me crash last week when I was drunk, which I don't do anymore since I'm reformed! But tonight the Jolly Boys are going out so I'll probably….no, definitely get drunk. Will you be at Siggy's place tonight? Oh, the couch folds out! I can sleep there or crash with Wolland. Don't let Haesten take me again, last time he shaved my–"

"ENOUGH!"

Rognvaldr's mouth audibly snapped shut, followed by a sheepish expression on his boyish face. 

Hands fisted on the desk and jaw clenched, Sigtryggr glared at his younger brother for several long seconds. The atmosphere in the room was heavy and thick, the same feeling as just before a thunderstorm hits. You bit your bottom lip, eyes focused on your boss and friend, wondering what would happen next. Finally, the storm passed over when he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, dropping his gaze to his desk. 

"Siggy, I–" 

"Valdi," Sigtryggr interrupted with a sound nothing short of long-suffering, "just….just go."

"But–" 

"I will meet you at the pub shortly."

"Good. I'll order your nasty drink for you." Rognvaldr rose, tugging on the sleeves of his wrinkled suit jacket. He took a step towards the door then swiftly turned to face you, still half-hidden behind his brother. "Oh, if you ever get bored of my brother, I'll be more than happy to–"

"Rognvaldr!"

"Alright, alright." The younger brother stepped backwards with his hands raised in surrender, the smug smirk lessened the authenticity of the action. With a bounce in his step, he headed out into the hallway. Not a moment later you could hear the shout of "THE JOLLY BOYS OF EOFERWIC HAVE RETURNED!", immediately followed by the shrill shriek of the receptionist. 

A painful silence clouded the office. Neither you nor your boss said anything for several agonizing seconds. From the corner of your eye, you could see him tapping his desk with a fist, his unseeing gaze situated on his desktop. Personally, you were frozen. The carpet under your feet held you firmly in place, refusing to release you from its bonds. Your conflicting thoughts swirled and somersaulted and spontaneously combusted, leaving you whirling in confusion with all that had just happened 

Finally, Sigtryggr straightened and turned around to face you fully. "I'm terribly sorry–"

"Do you think our kiss wasn't a real kiss?"

That…that was definitely not what you meant to blurt out, but now your question hung in the air, silently demanding an answer. 

Sigtryggr blinked, mouth slightly open as he stared at you. 

"I mean," you began sputtering, trying to backtrack and save yourself from your own self-created humiliation, "I know it was quick and all but I…I guess I thought it counted as you know…as a kiss." You finished, your voice dropping to just above a whisper. 

At his continued silence, your stomach plummeted to your feet. What had you been thinking to ask that stupid question? What had you hoped it would achieve? It had been months and neither of you had said a word about it. Most likely he had forgotten all about the encounter. Yet even as you internally reprimanded yourself, your mind reminded you of what Rognvaldr had said about how Sigtryggr talked about you…

Without a word, you took a step towards the door, unable to stand the excruciating silence and your own embarrassment. 

For the second time that day, his hand latched onto your wrist, this time preventing you from walking away. 

"I counted it as a real kiss, as you say."

At his quiet statement, your head jerked up, meeting his intense gaze. "Really?"

"Yes." 

"Oh, okay, good….um, glad we got that cleared up." 

You figured now the two of you would have a laugh and go back to work, well, you returning to work and him leaving for the pub where he was expected. Your shared kiss had been acknowledged but what more could happen? Honestly, you were surprised he still recalled it. 

Then to your utter bewilderment, Sigtryggr tugged you closer. 

Moving slowly, he guided you to stand in front of him, yet providing you ample time to pull away. You followed his direction without question, for how could you ever deny the man anything within your power? Your skin tingled under his touch as you attempted to keep your breathing steady, refusing to let him see how easily he affected you.

With a swift lick of his lips, a torturous action for you to witness, he gently, almost hesitantly spoke. "Truthfully….it's all I've been able to think of…."

What little air your lungs contained, dissolved at his statement. Your heart sped up even as your mind crawled to a standstill.  

"I have…admired you for a long time now. But that kiss…." 

He closed his eyes, taking a shuddering breath, his grip on you tightening fractionally. When he opened them again, your knees weakened and your womb quivered at the naked want and longing in his eyes. Something you had never expected to see directed at you. Under his smoldering gaze, fire licked your nerve endings, making a delicious heat coat your body as it soaked in the borderline desperation in his eyes. 

Shifting closer, he backed you against the edge of the desk, his body easily blanketing yours with the shared proximity. 

"That kiss burned down every wall I had created to contain my growing admiration for you." With one hand still latched around your wrist, his other hand glided like water over your skin to cup the back of your neck, refusing to let your eyes waver from his for even a moment. 

"I promised myself I would never put you in that position, causing you to think I would ever take advantage of you because I am your boss and have power over you. So I have kept silent. But instead of my affections waning, they have only amplified." As if sensing your unbelief, he lifted your hand to his lips, pressing a lingering kiss on your knuckles, even as his gaze never released yours from its hold. "You have become someone that I cannot imagine no longer having in my life. In whatever capacity you deem me worthy."

A silence filled in the space between his words. You were utterly dazed staring up at him. At this Adonis who was professing his adoration for you. Something your mind was struggling to comprehend. 

"Say something, please." He quietly said, a hint of pleading in his voice. 

"I'm debating if I should drop down on my knees for you," you automatically replied without thinking, "damn the potential carpet burn."

His own countenance lit up as he laughed and the sound left you breathless. Could he please stop being perfect for five seconds? 

"I admit, your offer is tempting." He leaned forward to whisper into your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. "But I would never take without giving in kind. And while I like my desk, it is not here where I imagined having your thighs wrapped around my head."

"Sigtryggr." You whimpered. 

His mouth descended on yours, and you were certain you had died and gone to heaven. His taste and touch seeped into your blood, an addiction blossoming forth. But instead of feeling like sin, it tasted like the ambrosia of the gods, something mere mortals should never chance or it would burn them. Whatever you had imagined kissing him would be like, no fantasy could ever come to terms with the heightened pleasure and perfection inflicted onto you. As he kissed you, with lips and tongue, you melted against him like ice cream on a hot day. For how could you not burn under his glorious touch? How could you not fully surrender to the lusty pleasure erupting in you because of him? 

Finally your mouths unglued, a desperation for air evident. As you panted for breath, his mouth trailed down your neck, never stopping his ministrations. His hands squeezed your thighs locked around his own, while his tongue danced across your skin. For a fleeting moment of awareness, you wondered when you had jumped up on the desk behind you. All you could remember was him backing you against him and then helplessly drowning under the glory of his affections. 

"I've waited so long to do this." He breathed out against your skin, in-between kisses and lazy strokes of his tongue. 

"Me too. I never thought…ah, never thought you'd be interested in someone like me." You whispered, mind drunk with lust and awe of the sudden turn of events. "I've struggled to not jump your bones ever since the first day we met. I've spent months fantasizing about you."

"Fuck." He groaned, hands tightening on your body. "Do you know what hearing that does to me?"

"I can guess."

With a rumbling chuckle that sent sparks shooting through your body, he drew back, but as soon as a whimper formed on your lips, it dashed away as he pressed his forehead to yours. Your combined ragged breathing blanketed the air between you. His hands loosely held your thighs while his body stood between them, so close and yet not close enough. The fire awakened still burned, waiting to be further flamed into an all-consuming inferno. 

"Go on a date with me. Tonight."

You leaned back, just enough to meet his eyes. "Tonight?"

"Yes, I know….I understand it is old-fashioned but I wish for you to understand, for me this is more than just a one-night stand. I wish to know you more than just a lover."

You blinked rapidly, mind whirling at everything that had happened. "I'd like that." And realized you meant it. However much you definitely wanted to get into his pants, because there was NO DOUBT you wanted in his pants. Besides you now had a good idea what the man was packing below the belt and hot damn, your core involuntarily clenched just thinking about it. He had a very good reason to be proud. But with his piercing eyes focused on you, waiting for your response, you realized it was more than just an itch you needed to scratch. Over all the time knowing him, you had grown quite fond of him, even if you thought he would never be interested in you romantically. How wrong you were. Now you found yourself wanting the date and all it implied afterwards. 

Then like an unexpected ice cube down the back of your shirt, you squirmed when a new thought hit you. "You're supposed to be meeting your brother and Wolland tonight."

"Yes, but they can wait." When you opened your mouth to argue, he pressed a swift peck to your lips, effectively silencing you. "For how long Wolland has been teasing me about you, he will most likely buy a round for the whole pub if he heard." He finished with a roll of his eyes. 

You snickered at the thought. "If you say so….and then, well, after the date?"

A wicked gleam grew in his eyes as a sinful smirk decorated his mouth. "Perhaps I'll take you up on your earlier offer….and we can test out some of your fantasies you alluded to."

Your mouth dried out, even as your heart rate sped up in response. Not from nerves. Oh no. But from a combination of excitement and thrill. The anticipation sent a shockwave through your body and your fingers automatically clutched onto him tighter. 

"It might take all night." You whispered coyishly. A sense of accomplishment filled your being as you watched his pupils blow wide at your words. With this newfound power over him, you dragged your thumb down his jawline to trace his bottom lip. "I'd just hate to be exhausted at work tomorrow and not live up to the standard set by my boss."

His hands guided upward, now squeezing your hips deliciously and drawing you closer to his immaculate form."It is a good thing your boss is a generous man. I am certain he would be willing for you to take tomorrow off of work to recover."

"You think so?"

"I am certain of it, since he has no plans for you to stray far from his bed until the only name you can recall is his."

A breathy gasp slipped out at his statement, particularly how the words seemed to roll off his tongue in a dark purr that made your core clench and quiver in want. In this moment you knew without question, if you said 'yes', if you gave in, there was no turning back. For his prowess would obscure any other man's before or after him, like a supernova in comparison to a white dwarf star. More than that, his kind heart and chivalry would ruin you for any future relationships. He was a danger to your libido and heart. Yet your answer rolled off your tongue without a second thought. Never had you been more certain of anything in your entire life.

"Then what are we waiting for?" 

He flashed you a crooked smile before he dove in for one more fierce, passionate kiss that left you boneless and whimpering his name. Chest rising and falling rapidly, he stepped back, although his intense gaze never wavered from you. A heated, predatory look saturated in dark promises and divine desire watched you. Silently, he held out his hand, an invitation, a beckoning, a calling to dive into the flames of his supernova. Immediately, you put your hand in his and allowed him to help guide you off his desk, answering his call without hesitation or question. 

You followed him out of his office, your hands clasped together and fingers entwined. Later you could worry about the repercussions, about where this would lead, about these feelings you had been harboring for some time and apparently he had been too. If it was love tying the strings around your hearts or something else entirely. 

Now all you knew was that you needed him, and he needed you. That these flames building between you both had finally escaped the fireplace and now burned freely. And the both of you were answering its summoning. 

However, you did choose to ignore how cliché it was that you fell in love with your boss.

Tag List:

TLK (all) @geekandbooknerd @trenko-heart @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @solinarimoon @errruvande-2-00

Temptation @ecarroll1978

[lost-immortality]

So, & I don't know if someone asked this already, but someone asked mmhinman for some BHC/General Classic Sans headcanons (I loved their headcanons of him), & they suggested going to ask u for canon BHC Sans headcanons since u are his writer for BHC, so that's why I’m here! I would love (if u want/can) some headcanons of my boy Sans! I love Classic/Comic so much, & he is 1 of my favorites in BHC (& in general honestly)! ^_^ Also, I love ur header image of u & Sans (so pretty), do u have a link?

Well, first off, thank you so much! My header image is a commission from the lovely nighttimepixels! Here’s the post :)

As for cannon headcannons, yeah! I have a few general ones for Sans that I can share!

Fastest memes in the west- if you send him a meme he will respond with another one in less than five seconds. It doesn’t matter if he was dead asleep when he got it, he somehow just knows.

He doesn’t actually drink ketchup. He likes it, yes, and he drank it exactly one (1) time for shock value… so now he just can’t live it down and jokingly plays along whenever someone brings it up.

Sans fears nothing, so he doesn’t have a phone case. But he does have a pop socket so that he can put the absolute minimum effort into holding his phone.

He doesn’t play them often, but he can absolutely wipe the floor with anyone who dares challenge him to either Jenga or Guitar Hero. (He will occasionally play Dance Dance Revolution as well, but only the version on the original PlayStation with that terrible crinkly mat, and he’s absolutely terrible at it)

Sans is terrible and will have an arsenal of just the worst pet names... get ready for a lot of gems like 'schookums', 'pookie' and 'nickname placeholder'. Though, you might get a 'starlight' or 'sunshine' if he's feeling especially soft.

He loves cheesy 80’s movies and those movies that are so bad that they’re hilarious. His personal favorites are the Goonies and Velocipastor.

Sans both can drive and owns a license, but the only kind of driving he ever really does is the ‘driving people crazy’ kind.

His favorite book is Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. He has a very worn copy of it that he found way back when that he rereads pretty often.

Similarly to why he watches 80’s movies, he likes to listen to 80’s/90’s music because it’s goofy and fun. When he’s working on projects that need his full attention though, he’ll listen to movie or video game soundtracks.

He’s a big cuddler in the most annoying way possible- kind of like a cat. You’re doing something on your computer? Not anymore, he’s in your lap and it’s snuggle time. He will make himself comfortable anywhere, no matter how inconvenient.

In that same vein, he’s a master at getting people to take breaks. He’s very quick to notice when someone is overworking themselves or when they’re getting frustrated with something, and will absolutely do what he can to help.

Sans has very good memory, and is especially good with numbers and dates. He knows all of the household’s numbers by heart (as well as the local pizza place) and has yet to forget a birthday or anniversary.

He’s extremely smart with machines, but will mostly use that exclusively to confuse and annoy people... Like that time he rigged all of the doorways in the house to play specially selected songs for specific people every time they walked through. Every single time.

His love language is absolutely quality time. The more he likes you, the more he’ll go out of his way to be around you, even if you’re not really doing anything. On the other side of this, if he doesn’t really know you, he won’t seek you out. You’ll have to do the legwork to get him to the point of actively trying to be around you.

[ljf613]

Zuko’s Memory Bias

I’ve talked about Azula’s potential memory bias towards her mother. In that same thread, I mentioned that Zuko also has memory bias towards his parents. What I didn’t think about until I was writing my recent post on his relationship with Azula is how those same biases may have affected the way he perceives her. 

(Warning: This is a very complex topic, and I suggest not reading/engaging if you find it potentially triggering or are unable to deal with it in a nuanced way. I am NOT trying to downplay abuse, nor am I trying to gaslight those who’ve been victimized by it.) 

Azula the Liar 

In “Zuko Alone,” we get a good sense of what Zuko’s life was like as a child. We see him interacting with his mother, sister, and (briefly) his father. And we get some insight into a line from “The Avatar State.” 

[ID: Excerpt from the transcript of the ATLA episode “The Avatar State.” Zuko: “You lied to me! [Cut to Azula, who appears confident.]” Azula: “[Smugly.] Like I've never done that before.”/ End ID] 

There are two scenes in “Zuko Alone” where Zuko accuses Azula of lying to him. Look at these lines, and see if you notice a common denominator. 

[ID: Excerpt from the transcript of the ATLA episode “Zuko Alone.” Young Azula: “[Sing-songy.] Dad's going to kill you! [Seriously.] Really, he is.” Young Zuko: “Ha-ha, Azula. Nice try.” Young Azula: “Fine, don't believe me. But I heard everything. Grandfather said Dad's punishment should fit his crime. [Imitates Azulon.] ‘You must know the pain of losing a first-born son. By sacrificing your own!’“ Young Zuko: “Liar!” Young Azula: “I'm only telling you for your own good. I know! Maybe you could find a nice Earth Kingdom family to adopt you!” Young Zuko: “Stop it! You're lying! Dad would never do that to me!”/ End ID]

[ID: Excerpt from the transcript of the ATLA episode “Zuko Alone.” Young Zuko: “Where's Mom?” Young Azula: “No one knows. Oh, and last night, Grandpa passed away.” Young Zuko: “Not funny, Azula! You're sick. And I want my knife back, now. [Zuko tries to grab it, but misses as Azula quickly moves out of the way, and loudly grunts.]”/ End ID]

Do you see it yet? Twice Zuko thinks Azula is making some kind of joke, and both times (as far as canon shows us, though I’ve seen headcanons that argue differently) Azula is actually telling the truth. 

Azula has no qualms about lying to acheive her goals. We see this multiple times over the course of the series. But if all we had to go by was these two scenes, we might paint a very different picture. 

Because there’s another, more subtle thing that both of these scenes have in common: both times, Zuko chooses to believe that Azula is lying, rather than accept that a parent (read: Ozai, because both of these things are really his fault) has failed him. 

The Beast 

There’s a kind of cognitive bias that often occurs with victims of abuse. Rather than try to explain it, I’ll give an example of a fictional character from a different story who is a very clear example of how and why it happens. 

In book one of Trials of Apollo (The Hidden Oracle), we’re introduced to a girl named Meg McCaffrey. Meg is strong, tough, and great in a fight. She explains that it’s all because of her stepfather, who took her in off the streets and trained her. She seems to genuinely care about him, and talks about him affectionately. 

But there’s another man in Meg’s life: The Beast. The Beast is a constant presence in her nightmares. He killed her first father, and we soon learn that he’s one of the primary antagonists of the story, and planning on destroying the world. 

But eventually, we discover the truth: The Beast and Meg’s stepfather are the same person. 

Meg’s stepfather is an abuser, one who’s used a common tool of abusers everywhere-- detatching from the tool he uses to abuse her and anthromorphizing it. “Don’t make me angry,” he says, “or you’ll wake up The Beast, and then whatever happens is on your head.” 

And because Meg needs to believe that her stepfather cares about her, she projects all her negative feelings about him towards this figmentary “Beast” and blaming him for all the problems in her life. 

Are we noticing the connection to Zuko and his relationship with his father yet? 

My Father Loves Me 

For the first two and a half seasons (especially in season 1), Zuko is convinced that deep down, his father loves him, cares about him, wants him back home. He has to believe that, because if he doesn’t, then what has been the point of everything he’s done until now? 

Which means that tricking him into an Agni Kai and then burning his face must have been justified. It means that capturing the Avatar really will get him back his honor. It means that everything that’s gone wrong in his life is his own fault. 

Or, at least, almost everything. 

You’re Like My Sister 

The first time we ever hear of Azula (other than that shot of her smiling at the Agni Kai in “The Storm”) is when Zuko is talking to (unconcious) Aang after he captures him in “The Siege of the North, Part 2.” 

[ID: Excerpt from the transcript of the ATLA episode “The Siege of the North, Part 2.” Zuko: “I finally have you, but I can't get you home because of this blizzard. [Stands up and looks outside the cave.] There's always something. Not that you would understand. You're like my sister. Everything always came easy to her. She's a firebending prodigy, and everyone adores her. My father says she was born lucky. He says I was lucky to be born. I don't need luck, though. I don't want it. I've always had to struggle and fight and that's made me strong. It's made me who I am.”/ End ID] 

There’s something interesting happening here. This is the first time Zuko’s been able to be totally honest about his feelings around Aang, and what does he do? He starts comparing Aang to, of all people, Azula. He’s projecting. He clearly has all of these negative feelings towards Azula, but he can’t do anything about them. So instead, he’s taking it out on Aang. 

Take every single interaction between Aang and Zuko in season one. Now realize that from Zuko’s perspective, he was dealing with his sister. 

Taking Aang prisoner on his ship? Azula. Constantly trying to capture Aang, only to be outsmarted by him? Azula. Shooting a blast of fire when Aang extends a potential hand of friendship? Azula. 

Because Aang, like Azula, is a perceived obstacle between himself and his father’s love. 

Father Says She Was Born Lucky 

Ozai didn’t just belittle Zuko-- he pitted his children against each other. He made it clear to Zuko that, even from the moment he was born, he would never, ever be as good at his sister. 

And all of this has caused a lot of rage and turmoil inside of Zuko. As self-depricating as he is, he does realize that not everything that’s gone wrong in his life is his fault. But we’ve already established that blaming his father would shatter his worldview. 

So who else does he have to blame? 

Azula. 

Azula, who was born lucky. Azula, who’s just so perfect. Azula, the prodigy. Azula, who everyone adores. Azula, who got everything. Azula, who always lies.  

Azula Always Lies 

Zuko talks a lot about honor. He talks a lot about capturing the Avatar. But when he’s stressed, when he’s feeling pressured, when he’s thinking about all the ways his life has gone wrong, he uses a different mantra. 

[ID: Excerpt from the transcript of the ATLA episode “Zuko Alone.” Young Zuko: “[Chanting in a low voice.] Azula always lies. Azula always lies.” Cut to the older Zuko, lying in green grass, holding his traveler's hat to his chest. Zuko: “Azula always lies.”/ End ID]

Azula always lies. 

”Azula always lies” is comforting. It means “father doesn’t really consider me a miserable failure.” It means “he was never really going to kill me.” 

Instead of getting angry at all the ways his father has failed him, Zuko can just blame it on Azula’s lies. That way he doesn’t ever have to admit the real problem. 

Now, I’m not saying that Azula was a perfect sister, or even a particularly good one. I’m not saying that she never lied, because we know she did. I’m not saying she didn’t hurt him, or trick him, or manipulate him. What I’m saying is that Zuko’s skewed perception has lead him to blame her not only for all the ways she hurt him, but also all the ways Ozai failed him. 

“Okay,” you’re saying. “Say I agree with you. Say we assume that all of his negative feelings that really should have been directed at Ozai were instead directed at Azula. But that doesn’t matter now. Zuko eventually did realize that his father was wrong. They had a whole dramatic confrontation where Zuko told him what a horrible father he was and everything! He’s not projecting anymore, and his current feelings towards his sister should only be indicative of her actions and behaviors. Right?” 

Wrong. 

How Cognitive Bias Works 

Cognitive bias is insidious. It doesn’t just affect one memory, it ripples outwards, affecting all of them. And the vast majority of the time, we don’t even notice it happening. 

Zuko called Ozai out for two things, and two things only. 

[ID: Excerpt from the transcript of the ATLA episode “The Day of Black Sun, Part 2: The Eclipse.” Zuko: “For so long, all I wanted was for you to love me, to accept me. I thought it was my honor I wanted, but really, I was just trying to please you. You, my father, who banished me just for talking out of turn. [Points a broadsword at his father.] My father, who challenged me, a thirteen-year-old boy, to an Agni Kai. [Cuts to shot of Ozai, looking angered.] How could you possibly justify a duel with a child?”/ End ID]

Zuko blames Ozai for his banishment, and for the Agni Kai. That is it. 

To be clear, I am not saying that Zuko thinks Ozai was a perfect father before all of this. Not at all. Zuko is aware that Ozai is “the worst father in the history of fathers.” 

But it isn’t like he’s gone back and inspected every single memory that involved Ozai and pinpointed all of the ways Ozai abuzed, manipulated, and gaslit him. He can’t. That requires both a level of objectivity he hasn’t reached, as well as a frame of reference for what normal looks like. Any victim of abuse-- especially childhood abuse-- will tell you that even though they know they were abused, they will often have or witness random interactions that will leave them thinking, “wait, this is what normally happens in this kind of situation? You mean [x] was also part of the abuse?” 

Not to mention that while Zuko didn’t examine his feelings towards Azula at any point before the finale. He had his epiphany about Ozai, and realized that his father had been wrong, but he’d always thought Azula was wrong. 

So while Zuko is aware that he had a bad father, he hasn’t actually stopped to consider how much of his anger towards his sister is actually about his father. 

(Again, I’m not blaming Zuko. None of this is his fault, any more than he’s at fault for the Air Nomad Genocide or the war. It’s just the reality of his situation.) 

Conclusion 

So what am I saying here? 

I’m saying that Zuko’s perception of his sister-- his anger, his frustration, his understanding of who she is-- is fundamentally biased. I’m saying Zuko isn’t viewing her from her own merits. I’m saying that Zuko doesn’t actually know her. He thinks he does, but he’s wrong. 

I’m adding another thing to the list of reasons why Zuko is not the person to try and help Azula through her trauma. 

I’m giving yet another example of how the fandom’s perception of Azula is also biased-- because the vast majority of our understanding of Azula’s character comes from Zuko. 

And unlike Zuko, we can detach ourselves from the narrative enough to realize that it might be worthwhile to re-examine our view of her.

[potteresque-ire]

This post is Part 5 of the five-part meta series on the Zhang Zhehan (張哲瀚) Incident, based on what has transpired up to 2021/08/22.

1) The 2nd Sino-Japanese War (1937-45) & the Yasukuni Shrine 2) Post-War Sino-Japanese Relations; “Every Chinese should visit the Yasukuni Shrine” 3) The Summer of 2021: The Brewing Storms for One 4) My Thoughts on Zhang’s Incident, Part A 5) My Thoughts on Zhang’s Incident, Part B

5) My Thoughts on Zhang’s Incident, Part B

As a highlight to the mob nature leading to Zhang’s downfall, please consider the timeline immediately before and after Zhang’s losing his endorsements on August 13th (or, why August 13th really mattered):

August 12th, evening: Zhang’s 2019 attendance of a wedding at the Nogi Shrine (乃木神社) went on Weibo hot search, and into public awareness. The Nogi Shrine (乃木神社) is of far less fame than the Yasukuni Shrine, but was named after a Japanese general of the Imperialist Japanese Army who was also the governor-general of then colonial Taiwan.

August 13th, ~ 2 am: netizens uncovered photos of Zhang’s 2018 visit to the Yasukuni Shrine, which were spread onto Weibo and made the hot search.

August 13th, 1:39 pm: Zhang posted his first letter of apology that began with: “Today, I’m ashamed of my once ignorant self, and furthermore, wants to apologise deeply for my past inappropriate behaviour.” (今天我為曾經無知的自己而羞愧，更要對之前不當行為深刻地道歉。)

August 13th, 2 pm: Nabuo Kishi, Japan’s current Minister of Defence, and a right-wing member of the House of Representative, Yasutoshi Nishimura, made an un-announced visit to the Yasukuni Shrine. The date was 2 days earlier than the 76th anniversary of Emperor Hirohito’s surrender speech (August 15th), as customary for Japanese officials to avoid visiting the shrine on significant anniversary dates of the war.

August 13th, 4:39 pm: People’s Daily (人民日報) published an online critique of Zhang’s apology. “… As a public figure, to be so lacking in historical knowledge, so unfeeling towards the suffering of the nation, it’s too inappropriate. On matters of righteousness of the nation, testing is not permissible, challenges are definitely not permissible. If knowingly committed, one would pay a heavy price.”  (。。。身為公眾人物，對歷史常識如此匱乏，對民族苦難渾然不覺，太不應該。事關民族大義，不容任何試探，更不容有任何挑戰。若明知故犯，就得付出沈重代價。)

August 13th, 5:05 pm: CCTV News (央視新聞) posted the video of Nabuo Kishi’s visit to the Yasukuni Shrine.

August 13th, 5:33: Zhang was dropped from his first endorsement. He would be dropped by all 27 of them within the next 5 hours.

August 13th, 5:35 pm: Zhang responded to People’s Daily’s critique piece, stating he shall repent and learn his lesson, and that as a Chinese, he loves his country and the CCP.

August 13th, ~6 pm: S. Korean news reported that the Korean Ministry of Foreign Affairs had summoned the Japanese ambassador in Korea to protest the visit of the Japanese Defence Minister to the Yasukuni Shrine.

August 13th, 6:26 pm: CCTV News (央視新聞) critiqued Zhang’s apology. “Whether to take photos in front of the Yasukuni Shrine, or to attend a wedding at the Nogi Shrine, Zhang Zhehan touched the wounds of history, hurt the feelings of the nation. It cannot be blamed on “once ignorance.” Just now, a Japanese Minister went to the Yasukuni Shrine for “demon worshipping” (Pie note: demon, from guizi 鬼子), China firmly opposes to this wrongdoing of Japanese high officials…” (無論在靖國神社前合影，還是到乃木神社參加婚禮，張哲瀚都觸碰了歷史傷痕，傷害了民族感情，不能簡單歸咎為「曾經無知」。就在剛剛，有日本大臣到靖國神社「拜鬼」，中方堅決反對日本政要這種錯誤做法。。。)

August 13th, 9 pm: China’s Ministry of National Defence answered press questions regarding the Yasukuni Shrine visit by Nabuo Kishi and Yasutoshi Nishimura.

Not only did Zhang’s incident happened in August, 2021, it happened on pretty much the worst day for him in August, 2021; the latest of his incident interleaved the unfolding news of the Japanese high officials’ visit to the Yasukuni Shrine.

What I’d like to call attention to, however, is this: Zhang’s endorsements didn’t begin dropping until *after* People’s Daily criticism.

If the companies had been genuinely offended by Zhang’s action, why was the wait necessary? If their Chinese feelings were genuinely hurt, why hadn’t they moved earlier, in the morning of August 13th, when Zhang’s visit went on hot search? Were these companies also ignorant about history, the significance of the the Yasukuni Shrine? The Chinese government has far more important things to worry about than an idol, but what about these companies that had paid good money for their spokesperson? That watch the public opinion, the market carefully?

Even if they didn’t care about the war themselves, why hadn’t they dropped Zhang based on the expected public opinion? What does that say about what these market experts believed, or knew about the public opinion? What does that say about their assessment of whether their potential customers would, as their actual selves, stop spending money on their products because of Zhang’s Yasukuni Shrine visit?

Were the act of dropping Zhang, then, more an act of performative patriotism than anything else? Once the first company started, the rest raced to follow for fear of being the slowest one, viewed as the least patriotic one. Hence, the 5-hour storm of endorsements abandoning Zhang. This herd ... mob behaviour, in which actions were either not taken or all taken at the same time, was also observed in the timing of different online platforms removing Zhang’s works, and fandom content with his name.

A “bingo card” for netizens to cross out Zhang’s endorsements as the sequential drops happened. Similar cards for Kris Wu had circulated in July. 

Were WoH and Zhang’s other group projects removed because Zhang was unpatriotic, or was it because the online platforms (and the tech giants behind them) were trying to protect themselves? Youku explained WoH’s first-time removal as a technical glitch but then, as reports of other platforms removing Zhang’s content poured in, the series was removed again.  

How much is real when it comes to the thunderous online declarations of love and betrayal against China? 

Related to this: turtles may remember the Xinjiang cotton incident in March, 2021, how Chinese netizens harassed anyone who used, endorsed Nike. One may assume, with that outcry, that rage, that anyone with a reputation to keep, with ties to the Chinese state, in particular, have severed their ties with the brand.

As it turns out, the teams of the Chinese Super (Football) League, for example, have kept their Nike kits. The Chinese Football Association (CFA), which, despite being officially non-governmental and nonprofit, is managed by the State General Administration of Sports (國家體育總局), issued a statement on March 27th on Weibo that only criticised Nike’s “wrong actions in choosing its cotton source” (對耐克公司在棉花原料選擇上的錯誤行徑表達了譴責), and reserved “its right to further deal with  contract with Nike” (保留進一步處理同耐克合同的權力). It never cut off the contract with Nike: a 10-year sponsorship,  signed in 2018, which amounts to 3 million RMB (463,000 USD) in funds from Nike for each football club every year. The CFA statement was later removed from Weibo. Photos of the football players have simply had the Nike Swoosh covered up, or photoshopped away. 

Photos from the Shanghai Shenhua football club, with and without the swoosh (Source).

Life is practical in China … and darkly humorous, at times. As a Mao-founded regime should be, perhaps.

I got Asks wondering then: will our non-Zhang-related favourite stars and CPs, dramas and fandoms get affected by the incident?

At the moment, my guess leans towards a no. My basis is this: in the critique piece against Zhang, published on 2021/08/16, by 中纪委 Central Commission for Discipline Inspection—the CCDI, by the way, is the highest anti-corruption, rules and regulations body in China—I believe the reason Zhang was disciplined was clearly stated:

對於所有「拜鬼」行為，中國都堅決反對。但如果我們國內的公眾人物去靖國神社都不被譴責和追究，我們又怎麼挺直腰桿要求外國人不去呢？

“Regarding all “demon worship” behaviour, China holds firm oppositions. But if our own public figures going to the Yasukuni Shrine get no reprimands, no investigations of responsibility, how can we straighten our backs and demand foreigners to not go?”

This has led me to think the state has no ulterior motives in targeting Zhang: Zhang’s “sin” was limited to his visiting the Yasukuni Shrine as a well-known, public figure, and/but that was enough. And the punishment had to be given in a heavy-handed, high profile manner, given the “news “of Zhang’s visit broke out on August 13, 2021. The following observation may be my being over-sensitive, but in the timeline above, Zhang was reprimanded, and his first round of the punishment in full swing (dropping of endorsements), before the China’s Ministry of National Defence talked to the press, which happened later than it had to be (compare the timing with S. Korea’s). Short of removing Zhang’s hot searches—which netizens would’ve noticed—this ordering of events was necessary; otherwise, the Chinese government issuing a formal complaint against Japan for their Minister of Defence’s visit to the shrine would’ve co-existed on the hot search with the report of China’s own celebrity visiting the same place. I therefore believe the state’s reaction had nothing to do with how Zhang achieved his fame, the past and present projects he was involved in, the CPs he was coupled with. Other state agencies and media would likely be careful about not attaching these topics to Zhang’s case as well, so not to distract from the central message of the government that … the Japanese are very bad people in the summer of 2021.

(Whether they’ll attach them to the Clear and Bright campaign is another matter.) 

Another Ask ~ Will Zhang be able to make a comeback? In five years? Ten?

Looking that far ahead is difficult, but one thing has to happen for Zhang to return—the Japanese have to stop being very bad people according to the Chinese government, which isn’t likely to happen soon. The Japanese government has shown few signs that they shall soon revise their attitudes towards their World War II history  (Yasutoshi Nishimura, who went to the Shrine with Japan’s Minister of Defence on August 13th, is associated with a historical revisionist group), while China’s escalating military aggression in the Indo-Pacific region will be seen as a growing threat to Japan, likely push the country towards the right. 

And 5, 10 years later, Zhang will be 35, 40 years old. Even if he’ll be able to work in the industry again, it’ll be difficult for him to achieve the fame he has before. Also, just because the government no longer bans him doesn’t mean production companies will be willing to hire him; he’ll be considered high risk—policies of China are volatile, after all, and the decision to un-ban can be easily reversed.

(I’m so sorry, Anon, I wish I have a better answer for you.)

And... here’s a thought I’ll finally end this meta series with. I don’t see Zhang as the only loser in this incident. I don’t really see any winners in this incident at all. An industry is dangerous for its every worker if its narrative, its list of guilty is penned by cyber mobs and in the name of patriotism; if the accused cannot speak for themselves, aren’t allowed to grow; if its rules of appropriate conduct are every-changing (The Reporter in 2017 = OK; Zhang in 2018 = Not OK); if its workers are penalised not by their own deeds but their associations (the rest of the cast and production team of WoH and other Zhang-associated projects).

The think tank for the National Ratio and Television Authority (國家廣播電視總局; NRTA, ie, the Chinese visual media censorship board), in their criticism piece about Zhang, hinted at even rougher waters ahead, in light of Zhang’s (and Kris Wu’s) transgressions:

明星頻頻「犯事」，說到底還是行業內對明星藝德約束不夠嚴格。據瞭解，電影行業正在籌備全國電影界道德委員會，將對電影從業人員道德規範提出更高要求，並提出，要將明星藝德納入法治化的軌道中來，給明星藝德約束加一道法規之鎖，明確明星的責任和義務，將明星的個人行為與職業利益掛鈎。 “The ultimate cause of stars “getting into trouble” frequently is that the industry has not tied a sufficiently severe bind on the stars’ artistic virtue (Pie note: roughly, = professional ethics). Based on reports, the film industry is preparing a National Film Industry Morality Committee that shall raise the moral requirements for film industry workers. The industry has also suggested that the stars’ artistic virtue shall eventually be governed by laws, to add a lock of legality to the bind of artistic virtues for the stars, to make clear the stars’ responsibilities and obligations, to couple a star’s personal behaviour with their professional (monetary) gains.”

My interpretation of this: should the suggestions become reality, it shall be written in future film contracts that a star who commits an act that the state considers immoral will have to pay the investors the production cost of their projects, and possibly, the projected profit. 

To put some dollar signs to this interpretation: a high-profile star may work on one or more projects with a price tag in the order of 100 million RMB (~15 million USD); box office, merchandise sells, and long term profits expected from online streaming can raise that number by several fold. This is a sum that even the most affluent stars will have a difficult time affording—and that’s before considering the endorsements, for which current contracts already require the stars to pay the damages.

The key word here is that the offending act only has to be considered immoral, not criminal. Immoral acts range from not liking the CCP enough—an easy-to-understand offence—to deviation from the society’s 公序良俗 (“public order and fine customs”), which includes just about anything that disagrees with the state-defined mainstream values.

Stars are stars because they invite the imaginations of their audience, because they break boundaries: from the seemingly insurmountable humdrum of daily life, to something that can be much, much more.

Stars should, of course, be law-abiding; they should be patriotic. But a star who’s mainstream in every way? Are they still a star, something we regular people wonder about, dream upon?

Bind and lock, the NRTA think tank referred to these suggestions. It reminders me of a quote by the famous Chinese director, Feng Xiaogang (馮小剛), who, in 2014, complained to BBC—perhaps in a slip of tongue—that Chinese directors could be like “dancing with fetters” (戴著腳鐐去跳舞) when working with the country’s censorship system.

Yeah. It’s kinda like that.

===

The Zhang Zhehan Incident Meta Series:

PART 1  PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 <- YOU ARE HERE

[masterthespianduchovny]

I’m going to be honest: I dislike Nate right now.

And that’s perfectly fine.

I understand that this show loves to redeem people, however, as I said in another post, you can only redeem someone if there are negative feelings and/or you believe that person wronged someone or whatever. If you have positive feelings and excuse what they did, what exactly are they being redeemed for?

Despite loving Rebecca’s character, when I rewatch season one, I don’t like her at times. I dislike a lot of what she did back then. It doesn’t matter that I know she tells the truth eventually, the stuff she did was still fucked up. I’m not going to preemptively excuse her actions because I know the end goal.

Take Jamie for instance, his behavior was not okay. We know why he behaves that way, but it still wasn’t justified. We are still allowed to dislike him and what he did then. We talk about the negative effects of the bullying Nate received from the players, yet some try to excuse Nate’s bullying and his actions?

Wrong is wrong. Jamie being verbally abused by his dad didn’t justify how he treated others just like how Nate’s father (and bullying by others) is emotionally abusive doesn’t justify Nate’s behavior.

Although we understand the context, Nate IS being a fucking backstabbing asshole right now. Some may hate to hear that, but this isn’t an unfair opinion or unflattering light of him. This is exactly how he’s behaving.

There are some who has a ton of sympathy for Nate, but I’m not one of them. Please believe, I do hold some sympathy for him, but I have a limit.

So here’s reasons why Nate is on my shitlist and I’ll wait until he’s actually redeemed to forgive him.

1. Calling Rebecca a shrew. It’s not the fact that he literally called Rebecca this, but that he immediately verbally attacked the woman. We can say, “oh no, she’s the owner so he had reasons to think…”

No, Nate literally attacked Rebecca for no reason at all. She had little to no interaction with him and has never disrespected or harmed him in anyway, yet he has these intense feelings of dislike in the moment based off what exactly?

Nate attacked Rebecca because she is a woman. If you disagree, what other reason it might be? The reason I believe it was due to her gender is because she’s been defanged so to speak. So he doesn’t fear her like he used to. But Nate also practices in casual misogyny ie his shoe remark to Rebecca and Keeley. That may not seem like a big thing, but how is that an involuntary response??? With him believing he got fired, he doesn’t wait for answers, he immediately attacks her. And I had to ask myself, would he have done this with a man? With someone like Rupert? No fucking way. Nate can’t even directly challenge Ted who is a ray of sunshine, but attacks someone who he literally ran away from in fear in the pilot. Although Nate respects power, he respects male power the most. He skipped over Ted and Beard and went straight towards Rebecca. The fact that this even happened has always been disturbing to me. And Nate is fucking lucky that he hasn’t said any of his comments to old Rebecca (not age, but personality. 🥺) because she would have fired him. Only due to her relationship with Ted and him getting to let her guard down and find her old self that she frowned and shrugged Nate’s comments off. Most bosses at the very least would’ve talked to Nate and he didn’t get even that.

2. Projecting his daddy issues onto Ted. I understand that nate is going through some tough shit and has been for literally decades, however, that doesn’t mean make someone your stand in dad because they were nice and kind. Ted treats Nate like he does the other coaches, but Nate wants a special and unique relationship that will never exist. Ted is not his father and he didn’t ask for the job or the responsibilities.

I understand that people go through shit and latch onto those who made the rough times easier. I get that. However, all this animosity, scheming, and resentment because Ted isn’t giving the attention he wants. That fucking unfair to Ted. He didn’t ask or sign up to be Nate’s father figure. Yet he’s being punished for not being something he never wanted to be. Never even thought about it.

And because I’ve seen/partially experienced this shit, people getting mad at you for not being who they projected onto, it makes me upset at Nate. Because people like this really do become resentful and manipulative and that is not okay despite their own hurt that they’re dealing with. Why does the person you projected on have to suffer for something they’re unaware of and have no obligation to fulfill?

Nate isn’t just trying to blow up Ted’s professional career, he’s doing it via one of the cruelest ways: using his mental health against him. Thereby exploiting Ted’s trust in him.

Ted has literally changed Nate’s life for the better and rather than have a man to man talk with him, he cowardly tries to sabotage Ted in one of the worst ways imaginable.

3. His cognitive dissonance about how coaching works!!!

This seriously irritates me because, on some level, Nate knows that the very system he’s criticizing is how it works across ALL team sports and with reason.

He wants to be a damn head coach soooo bad—does he think ideas, plans, plays, etc only comes from head coaches???

What does he think assistants are there for?

For those who aren’t familiar with sports and coaching, literally every team sport has a head coach and then assistants under them. These assistant typically specialize in a given thing.

In American football, I believe there are like defensive coaches, strength and conditioning coaches, etc. there are coaches who watch a lot of tapes to learn the opposition and how to make plays to hold them exploit their weakness and tailor plays around that.

Like on the professional level there are so many types of coaches and, hell, not all of them want to be head coaches. Some of the greatest coaching minds aren’t head coaches.

For example, the American basketball team the Chicago bulls fired their coach Doug Collins in like 1989, I think. He was a good coach, but one of his assistant coaches had a basketball IQ out of this world. Doug refused to listen to him, but management fully supported this assistant coach. Now the other assistant coach they were grooming to take over, Phil Jackson, if you’ve heard of him, DID listen to this basketball genius. So much so that when he became head coach after Doug was fired, he continued to implement The Triangle offense that came from this basketball genius, which Phil was known for until he retired.

Nate’s upset that Ted gets all the credit for if they win, he does realize that Ted also gets all the blame for if they lose. Ted has always highlighted his coaching staff and everyone who helped him. He has always stressed that he wouldn’t be where he is without them. And when he loses, he takes full ownership. He doesn’t pass the blame at all.

Does Nate seem like someone who’d take ownership for losing?

Does Nate seem like someone, at this moment, who’d appropriately give credit to assistant or anyone else who helped him?

Would he even listen?

What makes Ted a great coach is that he gives others opportunities to step up to the plate and if/when they succeed, he allows them to shine.

Ted sees the fuller picture, for the most part, and knows how to address his weaknesses and who’s stronger than him in what area. He realized that the team needed a presence like Roy on the team. He knew he needed someone like beard who could absorb insane amounts of knowledge. He saw that Nate had potential coaching ability.

But Nate doesn’t understand the importance or value of this. He also doesn’t understand how instrumental Ted’s philosophy has been in transforming the culture of the team. That this is also a reason why the team is playing better.

So like, yeah, I’ll forgive Nate when he’s redeemed. But these three things are what really irks me about him. Just because I understand why he is acting this way doesn’t mean I have to excuse it when he’s being a dick to others, complaining about shit only due to his ego, and doing fucked up shit like leaking someone’s mental health struggles so he can gain an advantage over them.

Does he think that if Ted leaves/gets fired that he’s getting the job??? I mean hopefully whatever he has going on with Rupert works out (before it inevitably goes wrong) because this isn’t going to turn out how he thinks it will.

[blindbeta]

Different anon here! I have a character who's blindness is incident related, but it's been several years since then and the story isn't heavily focused on his trauma (or at least that specific trauma, as he has others that aren't related to blindness)

This was before I knew injury-based blindness was a harmful/potentially harmful trope though, so now I'm worried that I'll have to rewrite his backstory entirely to avoid writing about experiences I don't have, or pushing any harmful tropes that are already pushed far too much.

What do you think? Could I still use that as part of his story without focusing too much on that specific traumatic event, or do you think it's better for me to discard it entirely?

The Accident Narrative/Going Blind Through Trauma trope and How to Make It Better - (I’m just calling it that because I don’t know if this thing has a name)

My problem with this trope - and the problem many people have with it- is very specific. I’ll try to break it down for you so it is easier to understand. My problem is basically with the execution.

Characters go blind unrealistically often from traumatic accidents in media. Mainly because it creates a lot of drama, which is fair, if cheap. It is also a good story starter if the story will be about them being all sad that they’re blind. These stories usually focus heavily on the blind part rather than the trauma part, and they paint blindness as the worst thing that can happen to anyone. Including death. Sometimes the character grows out of this feeling and sometimes they don’t.

The way you portray this is what changes the narrative.

I like that your story takes place several years after the incident although how well it is done will depend on the portrayal of the resulting blindness. Blindness can be tough, but avoiding considering the incident a tragedy that ended his vision could help. Not having too much of a woe-is-me attitude toward it will also help. Starting the story years after the incident creates beneficial distance.

With this in mind, the story won’t be - about - him going blind and then adapting and possibly being sad, possibly not sad about it. That would be a type of story that is probably best left to blind people who lost their vision later in life. Your story avoids this issue by starting the story well after the incident occurred. When you said you didn’t want to write about something you hadn’t experienced, to tell a story that wasn’t yours to tell, this is what you want to avoid. If you aren’t writing about going blind/being blind, you’re good, at least for this question.

So, you have avoided writing about the experience of going blind (and having that be the focus of your story) and starting the story at another time so your character can have some distance from his trauma. Your story will not be showing your character tragically losing his sight and learning to adapt. -dramatic sniffle-

The other part of this ask that really works for me is the part about focusing on different traumas. It sounds like the character is going to have more to them, and the idea of the Blindness Trauma being not as significant as other more recent traumas sounds good and true to life. It also takes the focus away from any implications of blindness as particularly tragic and all-encompassing. Your character will expirience different things just as anyone else would. Focusing more heavily on other things in his life is a good idea. That, coupled with the distance from the initial traumatic incident makes it okay with me.

What else can you do?

Here are a few other options for you or other readers who are writing incident-related blindness:

1. Have them focus on the traumatic incident itself rather than the resulting blindness.

Yes, going blind can change your life. It can be scary and someone may need to grieve their vision loss as they would any other major change. However, this doesn’t have to be the dramatic take-up-an-entire story thing either.

If you decided to write flashbacks, you can show the character mostly dealing with trauma, with blindness as a reminder of it. This puts the focus on the traumatic incident itself healing from trauma rather than trying to heal from blindness. When sighted people write about this, it comes out as awkward, not relatable, and impossible to separate voice-type things - like worrying about never being able to marry - from the authors own opinion or worries about blindness.

Focusing on the trauma of say, extreme injury can help with that. It is important to make a distinction for the reader, who usually goes in not knowing much about blindness and conceptualizing it as one of the worst things that could happen to them. Make it as clear as you can that the character is upset due to trauma rather than being devastated their life is over because they are blind.

2. Have the trauma happen off-screen / have them not remember it much due to young age

It sounds like this is also what you’re going to do. You could mention the traumatic incident briefly, without too many dramatic details. A few descriptive sentences should be enough. You could write it for reference and only take a few samples from it you liked. This keeps the focus away from drama for drama’s sake. It also disrupts the usual narrative, putting you farther away from the Accident Narrative or trope. You could simply have had the character be too young to remember much detail.

3. Add more blind characters

This one is good for any story. You should always trace your logic for topics like the one you presented or consider how to do things better, but one easy way to avoid readers thinking all blind people are like your character (which they might), you can add another blind character or more who were born blind or went blind at a very young age. Who don’t struggle with being blind generally. This exposes your readers to more ideas of blind people.

When your story is standing on the line between nuanced character and meeting a stereotype, you should absolutely have at least one other if not a few blind characters. In fact, I would be surprised if a story like this didn’t have other blind characters and, if I were reading this story randomly, I might even feel less forgiving or open to what was different about the Accident Narrative this time.

Thank you for asking this question. It is kind of challenging to answer and I had to rewrite this a few times. Basically, you want to do what you can to disrupt the usual portrayals of blindness because there are actually so few and most are made by people who aren’t blind or even disabled. You cannot make this trope or stereotype go away, but you can try to shake it up. Because this can be done differently, to avoid writing about adapting the tragic blindness, I am ok with this type of story.

I don’t know if this one is harmful exactly, but it is frustrating to see and can certainly lead to some harmful ideas, such as blindness only being tragic even when someone was born blind. I have a review coming up for a book called Blind that might be helpful, as well as a post called Tropes I’m Tired Of that I hope will help. Your ask definitely helped me consider more ways this trope could be made more bearable and concentrate on what exactly I dislike about it.

All that said, this is not a post encouraging people to use this narrative in all their projects. Only if you feel like it is necessary and fits the character. I would like for this trope to be less common than being born blind or going blind in a way that isn’t so dramatic and, possibly, abrupt. When most characters go blind through traumatic accidents it contributes to people’s idea that blindness is not only traumatic for anyone at any age, but also cannot be anything but a tragedy.

I really hope this helps. Of course, I would really encourage a few different sensitivity readers with this story. Just to get different perspectives. There is another blind person who also offers sensitivity reading at @sensitivityreaders and it might help to get them or someone else, in addition to me. Because I would love to read this sometime.

-BlindBeta