#AND THIS DOESNT JUST STOP WITH HAMILTON.

[swirlzberry]

I cant wait for the day when people talk about historical figures without mentioning another person who has more popularity than them.

[forzalvr]

tbh Lewis and Fernando would send the same message with the little 'forwarded' sign at the top 😭😭

[redsodaz]

okay guys confession time... i still kinda like be more chill

[therealplaguedoctor]

Love at first bite

Max Verstappen x fem!reader

Summary- Y/n is a professional protection dog trainer, and an ex bodyguard. What happens when an old friend of hers calls in a favor: getting his friend some protection. The fans seem to love her, others not so much. Especially not her clients father. Her client enjoys her company maybe a little more then he thought after the first bite.

TLDR- a collection of series of events that ends with two people who didn't really know they were in love with each other until one confessed

Warnings- dogs and dog bites, mentions of aggressive fans, cursing, google translated dutch, Jos Verstappen, stupid warnings: author is a dumbass and pretends she knows shit(she doesnt), American spelling, I never spell check, also y/n is very badass and is kinds just built different, sorry I like writing badass characters/people, also this might be a bit ooc I'm sorry for that :/

A/n- AHHH okay so I kinda hate (hate as in thinking I could do better) and love this(?) I wish it was better written ngl but it is a oneshot so I wasn't able to go into more detail so I feel like the writing is a bit rushed sorry about that I promise I will get better in the future :,)

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BREAKING NEWS: Fomula one driver Mav Verstappen got injured after crazy drunk fan attacked him.

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BREAKING NEWS: Max Verstappen revealed that he is looking into more security in an interview

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"We're sure you've seen the questions around what happened immediately after qualifying. Can you add anything to that situation? Like with your current security?"

Max picked up the mic wanting to be anywhere but here "well I will be looking for personal security. As all the security that is normally seen around me is provided via the FIA." He said "But to speak on that manner any behavior like that should not be tolerated" he put down the mic as the interview turned to ask Lewis a question.

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After the interviews were over Max just wanted to relax and forget about the crazed fan. But before he could disappear into redbull hospitality he heard his name from a familiar voice.

"Max!" Lewis called stopping in front of him "Hey mate I think I know someone that I can call to help you with your security" he smiled

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"Stellen" (bite) you yelled at Goose, which sent him barreling towards the man with the bite sleeve. Goose launched himself up and bit down on the sleeve. The man, Tony, aggressive, shook his arm.

You felt you phone in your pocket buzz with your familiar ring tone. You pulled it out and looked at the caller ID: Sir Lewis Hamilton. You answered the call before yelling "Loslaten" (out) to Goose who immediately let go of his arm.

"Hey Lewis what's up?" You asked as you waved off Tony telling him he's good to leave.

"Hey Y/n" he said dragging out your name a little

"Lewis" you said in a warning tone "what did you do?"

"Okay one rude, I didn't do anything." He huffed "but I do need a favor?" He asked

"What's up?" You asked again "it's not like you to ask for favors"

"Well: my friend, another driver, he had a fan attack him and he needs protection cause he doesn't really have a security team"

"Lewis I can't get him a trained dog in a day" you sighed

"I know" he said "but you're still a certified body guard aren't you?" He asked hopefully

"Lewis." You said

"I know it's a big ask" he said "but I was talking with him earlier and he's willing to pay big bucks for you to be protection for him AND train him a dog." He said

You sighed knowing that he'll continue until you say yes "fine" you said "when can I set up a meeting with him?"

"Uhh I can say next week tuesday? We can do whatever time" He said "cause after this race we have a small break then it's actually race week in Miami"

"Okay Lewis, I'll find a dog for him before then, and start training" you said "if you say he's serious about this then I'll belive you"

"Thank you so much" Lewis said "I'll let him know"

"Yeah yeah, bye Lewis"

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You sat in your small office. You didn't use it much only for meeting with clients about protection dogs or getting their dogs trained, you wanted to have a atleast semi professional space due to your clientele.

A knock at the door cause you it sit up and stop spinning in your chair.

"Come in" you called.

The door slowly opened revealing a happy Lewis. Goose didn't move from his bed next to you instead looking up at the man.

"Hey Lewis" you smiled

"What's up?" He asked rhetorically as he sat in one of the chairs across from you.

Another man walked in behind him, he looked around the room as if taking it in, this must be Max the guy Lewis was telling you about.

"Hello its nice to meet you" you smiled as you stood up and extended you hand "my name is Y/n L/n"

He shook your hand "Max Verstappen" he said before sitting down

You did the same sitting in your chair "so I have been made aware that you're looking for a personal protection dog" you said "along with the fact in the mean time you're looking to hire my bodyguard services" you said as you pull up the contract you had drafted earlier on the computer.

"Uh yes that's right" the Dutch man said

"Okay" you said as you quickly checked over the document spinning your screen around so he can read it-

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After discussing the contract along with pay you both sign it. Solidifying the deal.

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"Okay so now that we have that settled" you said as you stood up "we should have you meet your new dog" you smiled "Hier" (come) Goose got up and followed you out if the room the two men behind him.

You took out the keys and unlocked the kennel for a German shepherd pup "he's still a bit young, just under a year actually" you said "but he has the basics down so it's now just bite training" you explained

Both men nodded as they watched the pup and your dog Goose interact.

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Media day, the day Max wished didn't exist. He finally got out of his car as you approached him with Goose to your immediate left.

"Good morning" you smiled "large crowd at the gates, mostly photographers only a few fans, I recommend staying on the right side as you walk into the paddock" I explained "it's mostly photographers on that side and no interviewers"

Max nodded as you talked he followed your instructions. You put on your sunglasses to block the flash of the cameras.

Max made it past the hectic paddock entrance with you right behind him Goose walking by your side.

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As Max walked through the paddock he wasn't approached by any interviewers. He could get used to that.

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Max sat down ready to record some content for the redbulls media team. You positioned yourself out of the way but with a good view of everything as well as all the entrances.

Daniel soon arrived and noticed you almost immediately sitting down he leaned over to Max and asked "who's that? With the dog?"

"Oh that's, Y/n" Max explained "She's my new bodyguard"

"She looks badass" Yuki comments scaring the shit out of both Daniel and Max "where the fuck did you come from?!" Max shouts

You quickly looked over and watched the interaction, Yuki had been up there the entire time.

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As the recording came to an end you stood from where you were leaning. Watching Checo leave, followed quickly by Daniel and Yuki who look like they needed to be somewhere. Max started towards the exit you quickly followed him.

Begrudgingly Max sat down in front of a mic that had a big 'sky sport' on it. You stood just off to the side of the camera, completely out of frame and able to watch to one side of Max as you had Goose watching behind yourself.

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As Max answered the repeat questions he finally heard the one he's been dreading:

"So Max this morning you walked in with a lady who had a dog. Care to comment about that relationship?" The interviewer asked.

"She's my bodyguard" he stated

"She's your bodyguard..?" The guy asked like he didn't just hear him

"Yes."

"If you don't mind me asking why her?"

"She was recommended by a friend." Max said nonchalantly

"Sorry let me clarify my question" the guy said. Oh no, you knew where this was going. "Why not a male body guard they're stronger no?" He asked

"Are you insinuating that just because she's a women she wouldn't be a good bodyguard?" Max asked

"Well no-"

"No it's exactly what you're doing" he said "you media people always ask the stupid questions" he hissed "that is so fu-"

He was cut off by you "Max de camera staat nog aan" Max the camera is still on.

Instead of continuing he just gets up and leaves, cutting the interview short. You follow quickly, commanding Goose to walk next to Max as you figured Max didn't want to be approached by anyone. Scary dog privileges are the best.

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He opens the door to his driver room.

"Hier, blijf" (come, stay) you quickly rattled off to Goose who quickly went to your side and stopped next to you

Max also stopped in his tracks.

"Sorry" you quickly apologized "he's trained in dutch"

Max shook his head "no need to apologize" he said and then motioned you inside "but I don't want him out in this heat please come inside" he said

You weren't gonna argue with your boss "Volg" (heel) you commanded Goose as you walked into his driver room. Max walked in right behind you.

You stood off to the side as Max sat on the couch. He quickly motioned for you to sit down. You did just that.

Goose sat at your feet between you and Max. Max was obviously still pissed at what the guy said, you could see it on his face.

"You know" Max started "I've never been a dog person" he said "I like cats more"

"Huh," you said "I've always been a dog person" you said "started with the herding dog on my family's farm"

Max nodded as you talked before asking "can I pet him?" motioning to Goose

"Oh yeah of course" you smiled "as long as we aren't in a camera shot give him all the love you want" you chuckled "gotta keep his image up of a cold blooded killer, until the media finds my insta" you chuckled.

Max smiled as he ruffled Gooses head earning a lick from the dog.

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BREAKING NEWS: Max's new bodyguard, Y/n L/n has a trained protection dog named 'Goose'. Click here to read more!

One image attached!

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You and Max finally left his driver room as he had another media appearance with another interviewer.

Max walked in front of you Goose to his left. You grabbed the door opened it for him. You followed him inside "volg" (heel left), you told Goose who then fell in step beside you to your left.

You followed Max till he sat on the couch opposite of the interviewer. Instead you stood against the wall out of view of the camera.

"Okay" the interviewer said giving the signal to start rolling "so before we start with the questions: would you want to have your bodyguard sit down?" She asked, she sounded genuine

Max then turned to you "wil je gaan zitten? ze kunnen je vragen stellen..." (do you want to sit down? they might ask you questions...)

You responded "Ik vind het niet erg om vragen te beantwoorden. Wil je dat ik ga zitten?" (I don't mind answering questions, do you want me to sit?)

"Ik vind het prima als jij dat ook bent" (I am okay with it if you are) Max said

You gave a quick nod before walking over and sitting on the couch, next to Max. Turning to Goose you said "Bewaken" (guard), causing him to lay down in front of Max.

Turning to the camera the interviewer started "Hello everyone it's Stella here!" She smiled "and I am joined today by Max Verstappen and his bodyguard..."

"Y/n" you said "and Goose" motioning to your dog.

She smiled "and today we are asking the new, the old, and the frequently asked questions." She turned to Max "okay to start off, Max we'll start with frequently asked questions: do you think you'll win the 2024 world championship?" She asked already knowing the answer.

"Of course I will" Max said "if I don't have that mindset then I have no chance"

"Moving onto the old news: China after quali" she said "most fans just do wanna know what happened and are you okay"

"Well obviously I'm okay," he said "but the fan was drunk and belligerent after I was able to take the win," he said "knowing that he was outside of the paddock I shouldn't have left but I'm lucky at the security near the entrance was able to quickly get him away" he said "he surprised me honestly" he shrugged

"Okay now onto the new: your bodyguard Y/n" she said "everyone wants to know more about her" so that's why she wanted to have you on the couch.

Max quickly turned to you "Vind je het goed om te antwoorden?" (You good to answer)

You nodded grabbing the mic he held out: "it's a bit of a story but: I was actually the dog trainer for Roscoe, Lewis Hamiltons dog," you said "I'm a well known dog trainer in Miami I have trained several dogs for a lot of celebrities. Some for protection others just to have a trained dog" you said "but anyways Lewis called me I think the day of the incident" you thought "and we talked for a second and he asked if I still had my bodyguard certification" you said "which is really just a formality but for my job before I started training dogs I was security for a large club in Miami and we needed it" you explained "so after a meeting with Max we signed a contract that is basically me being his bodyguard with Goose until I have trained a dog for him" you finished, handing the mic back to Max.

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The drive to his hotel was relatively quiet besides the soft hum of the radio.

"When we arrive at the hotel do not get out" you said "keep the door locked till I have my hand on the handle" you explained "people are crazy here especially where your hotel is located"

Max nodded as you pulled the car up

You quickly got out shutting the door opening the door for Goose then opening the door for Max. People were everywhere, people shouting, some where drunk others just crazy. You quickly led Max to the entrance of the hotel and bid him a goodbye.

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Friday and Saturday were uneventful. But Sunday was race day, the day the MOST amount of people all week.

Walking next to Max, "rechts" (heel right), Goose moved to the right side of Max you walked on his left side. You were able to easily enter the paddock.

Finally its race time you placed the dog ear muffs over Goose to protect his ears. The had just finished the formation lap. The lights turn red one by one, then all go out hearing the infamous "lights out and away we go"

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Lando Norris had won the Miami grand prix. His first win. Max was really happy for him. Wanting to go out to celebrate but not wanting to get attacked he turned to you:

"Y/n do you mind coming out tonight?" He asked "I don't want to miss Landos first win celebration, but I you know need protection" he joked

"Sure I'll baby sit you" you joked back. Little did you know that was basically what you ended up doing.

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As it was Landos first win they were going hard. You stood off to the side watching them all carefully making sure nothing happened to Max specifically. They decided to leave this bar going to the next. You follow them out walking just behind the group.

"Verstappen!" A drunken voice called, "why the fuck did you let that fuck boy win" the man slurred

Stepping between the two quickly "step back" you said firmly to the drunken man.

"What are you gonna do about it?" The man slurred

"Blaffen" (speak) you called, causing Goose to start barking aggressively grabbing his collar as he started going manic as he barked.

The man quickly backed away before almost bolting down the street you shook your head "foei" (no), Goose immediately stopped "Bewaken" (guard) he stood next to Max ready to start walking again

"We're good" you said to him and the group

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Luckily nothing else happens that night. But not as lucky Max was beyond wasted. You were able to get him into the car and buckled him up shutting the door. You open the back door for Goose having him jump in. You got in and started driving realizing that you only knew where his hotel is and not his room you decide to drive to your house.

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Getting him into your house was an adventure. He was basically a dead weight, after an insane amount of effort you got him onto the couch in your living room and threw a blanket on top of him. Placing some advil and water on the coffee table next to him.

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As the job progressed and Max's new dog got trained many races were uneventful. The media attention on both of you had died down to what it was before Max got attacked. You are featured in some clips and interviews just answering the odd question or pulling Max away to get him out of range of anything dangerous. That is your job anyways.

The only big changes was social media: you stopped posting after getting a substantial amount of followers. People still comment on your old posts asking when your next post is. And the edits.. People are making edits of you and Goose being badass and it honestly makes you happy seeing all those cool edits. You'd take it to your grave but you love watching them in you bed late at night when you can't sleep.

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It was the Austrian grad prix. Lando and Max had gotten into it on the track causing Lando to get a dnf, and Max to drop to 5th place. He stormed off disappearing before you could catch up to him.

You eventually find him sitting in one of the chairs looking at the ground, with his helmet still on. As a man you don't recognize yells at him.

"Hey!" You shout storming over "back away from him"

The man with anger in his eyes glanced at you but went back to yelling at Max. Ypu quickly said "Blaffen" (speak) to Goose, he started barking at the man

"Get back" you commanded again

Finally he looked at you "Do you know who I am?" He asked all proud

"I don't fucking care who you are" you snapped "step away from my client" you said firmly

He turned back to Max and began yelling in Dutch to fast and angry for you to make it out. You were about to intervene again until the man raised his hand as if to strike Max

"Stellen, stellen" (bite, bite) you quickly commanded Goose letting go of his collar. The dog jumped up and bit the raised arm the force sending the man to the ground.

As this is happening Max watched it, he looked up just as you called for Goose to bite his father.

You followed your dog holding the man to the ground before commanding "Loslaten" (let go) Goose dropped the now bleeding arm. "Bewaken" (Guard), Goose stood in front of Max now defensively.

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Security arrived with medical and as they treated the dog bite you explained to them what happened pointing the the cameras around as well as a fan that recorded the entire interaction on his phone.

After a bit of talking and reviewing security bid you a goodbye and left. Citing that you were doing you job.

You then sat down next to Max who still hadn't taken off his helmet. "Who was that anyways?" You asked him as you quickly cleaned the blood off of Goose.

"My dad" he said muffled from the helmet

"Oh" you responded

"Yeah" Max said

The air filled with awkward silence before you said "let's get you back to the drivers room to cool down you still have interviews" Max just nodded making his way to his drivers room. You follow him inside Goose quickly settled by the door as you went to Max who sat on the couch with his helmet still on.

Reaching over you unclipped it and took it off, placing it on the table. Max took off his balaclava throwing it next to the mask.

"Sorry" you said "about your dad"

"I- no- uh" he groaned frustrated "You're fine you were just doing your job" he said a little snippy. He didn't want it to come out like that but it did.

You just nodded as he talked listening before saying "okay we gotta have you head to the media pen before someone yells at us and you get a fine" you said standing up

Max just nodded and followed you out if the drivers room.

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Media was done and all Max wanted to do was go back to the hotel. You don't blame him you'd want that too.

After the media pen Max was almost a shell of himself. So just to make sure he's okay you walked inside the hotel and got him to his room, you also needed to talk about earlier. When he opened the door to his hotel room and motioned you inside you were quick to oblige.

The room was nice it was similar to one of those one bedroom apartments just minus a kitchen.

Max settled down on the small couch letting out a sigh.

You just stood a bit awkwardly as Goose sat down next to Max's feet earning a few pets from the Dutch man.

"We gotta talk about today" you said breaking the silence

Max groaned "Do we have to...?" He asked

"I mean yeah" you said "Goose bit your father" you said "I'm sorry I didn't-" before you could continue he interrupted you

"You were doing your job" he said "you had no clue what he could have done or actually what he was going to do" Mac explained "you did what you thought was best to protect me. Which is your job" he leaned back on the couch and then muttered to Goose "thank you"

You ran through the situation in your head again. Jos, which you learned was the man's name, was actually going to hit Max.

"He was actually going to hit you wasn't he?" You asked him

Max stayed silent that's all the answer you needed

"Well now I wish I didn't tell Goose to let go"

Max cracked a smile, "thank you" he said this time looking up at you.

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Both you and Max were in his driver room. It was media day for the British Grand Prix, but Max had been waiting to hear back about his next interview as the time.kept changing. You thought that they just wanted to keep him here as long as possible.

Max was watching the small TV as he sat next to you on the couch. You were on your phone just scrolling through some random social media apps. Goose was laying down by the door.

While both of yall were waiting Max fell asleep next to you. Because of the way he was sitting when he fell asleep he was leaning against your shoulder. Eventually you fell asleep too.

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Later you slowly wake up but are held in place by some strong arms. You blink awake adjusting to the light. You laid on your side on the couch and where held in place by a sleeping Max. You tried to move to get up but were just pulled right back down. Giving up rather quickly you went back to sleep.

Max gently shook you awake. "Hey Y/n" he said softly, "we should head back to the hotel" he was blushing but it was kinda hard to tell in the lighting

You just nodded as I slowly got up and stretched quickly gathered you items.

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BREAKING NEWS: Max and Y/n seen leaving the drivers room late at night. What does this say about their relationship: Professional? Friendly? Or is there more?

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"Mate you're all over the news" Lewis said to you on the phone as you got ready

"What do you mean?" You asked as you got ready

"You and Max were spotted leaving his drivers room late last night, together." Lewis explained

"Fuck."

"Yeah" he said "I'm at the track already and people are asking me about it"

"What have you been saying?" You asked leaving the hotel room Goose at your side

"I've been saying: I don't know the relationship, and that uh you're his bodyguard so whatever he was doing in the room you have to be there cause when he leaves you have to make sure nothing happens and shit"

You sighed "thank you Lewis" you said as you opened the car door for Goose and shut it before getting in yourself, and starting the car.

"It's no problem" the brit said "but are you two...you know..?"

"God Lewis!" You said "no we're no fuck buddies"

He just laughed "come on you knew I had to ask"

"I'm hanging up now" you said ending the call.

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After collecting Max from his hotel and you started driving.

"You seen the news?" You asked

"I have yes" an uncomfortable silence filled the car before you spoke

"Lewis said that he's been telling media that cause I'm your bodyguard I have to be with you basically 24/7 so we can just stick with that" you said "I mean it is the truth"

"Yeah" he nodded quickly, he didn't know that you knew he was cozying up to you on that small uncomfortable couch.

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Media was lovely that day and respected both of you- said no one ever.

Several times you had to yell at people to back up or even push a few people away. And media was eating it up:

BREAKING NEW: Y/n L/n 'defends' Max Verstappen from media is it more than just bodyguarding?

BREAKING NEWS: Y/n L/n pushes away journalists, bodyguard or overprotective girlfriend?

BREAKING NEWS: Y/n L/n thought to be more than just a bodyguard, is Max taking the 'body' out of bodyguard?

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The last title made you gag how does that get approved? It doesn't actually bother you to much but it's gross.

You sat on that uncomfortable couch reading the news, almost every single station had something about you two leaving the drivers room late, or about you pushing away journalists.

You let out an annoyed huff tossing your phone on the small coffee table. Max leaned over a bit to look at it.

"Why are you looking at that shit?" He asked

You just shrugged

The last articles name caught his eye he double checked "what the actual fuck" he hissed "this is bullshit, why the fuck would the title an article this" he was pissed. You don't know entirely why they weren't saying anything about him.

"I don't know" you just shrugged

"You aren't mad at this?" He asked before continuing "It doesnt matter, I'm going to go punch the fucker who wrote the article" not wanting him in any legal trouble, mostly cause you knew he would punch the guy, you stood up and quickly blocked the door.

"Nope" you said simply "the article title is just that: an article title. I know it's not true you know it's not true so why does it matter" you asked

"It's disgusting" he said "they shouldn't talk about you-"

You cut him off "exactly! Me they are only talking about me in a bad light so why do you car so much?" You asked a little ticked that he was still trying to get passed you

"Because I care about you okay!" He confessed "I know it's dumb, you're my bodyguard and I-" he was cut off by a kiss.

You didn't know how but you ended up kissing him. He quickly reciprocated grabbing your chin pulling you closer.

As you both broke the kiss catching your breath you rested your foreheads against eachother looking into his eyes you smiled.

"When did you fall for me?" He asked

"When we cuddled on that uncomfortable couch" you smiled he blushed

"I didn't know you were awake for that" he said softly

You chuckled softly "when did you fall for me?" You asked

"It was love at first bite" He said "when you were protecting me from my father."

Then they fu-

Fin.

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[mikolovesracing]

i’m gonna rant. and if youre gonna come and comment on this post saying rude shit you can fuck right off with that bc im not having it. reconnect.

———

i can’t fathom what today did to lando.

his deflection of compliments from lewis hamilton in the max verstappen podcast room was heartbreaking. ik it looked like he was being an asshole and yeah! yk what, he probably was! but if you just had your second win pulled from you on a VERY PUBLIC STAGE, wouldn’t you be too?

and yes i understand that he under cut oscar im not saying that was right. dont get me twisted rn.

but can yall fucking stop with the lando norris hate club please? its such bullshit! i hate seeing it! forget hes an f1 driver and remember hes a person? that has real feelings? and real emotions???

he was used today! go back and listen to the team call of them emotionally manipulating him. its fucked!!!!

not only that but lando is incredibly hard on himself. lando truly is his own worst enemy. this man will beat himself up over anything, he cannot accept that he is worthy of celebrating himself and it kills me because i know what that feels like.

it hurts to see.

i know hes hurting.

he was hurt by his team.

fucked over by strategy.

and he still has to have happiness for oscar because he is a good person at heart and he has said that he can be more of a dick, yall forget how fucking nice he is. he puts effort into others and celebrates his friends and he is a good person at heart. yall are making him out to be this spoiled bitch brat and saying horrible things and im over it. ik zak brown treats him like he hung the moon and stars. and ik that oscar piastri DOES NOT get the same recognition. but that doesnt mean we get to come on the internet and whine and bitch that he was even slightly rude to lewis hamilton and that he didn’t seem pleased about p2

NEWSFLASH: he fucking wasn’t!!!!! oscar racec better than lando today, yes. but their team dangled a carrot in front of lando and took it away. they spoiled what could have been a great celebration for both drivers.

think about the sportsmanship he had today when he let oscar through. he could have easily said fuck you strategists, i’m in the lead.

so no! he didn’t want to! would you?????

he had to give up a win.

and please dont take this like im unhappy for oscar i am thrilled for his maiden win.

but even in oscars voice.

he isn’t celebrating himself either.

because mclaren hurt both of their drivers today. not just one over the other.

it feels wrong to be happy and sad simultaneously for a mclaren one two.

but neither of them seemed thrilled today.

not even oscar.

i think they have the power, they have the car, they have the drivers

put into perspective for a minute how cohesive of a team oscar and lando are, they work together closely and they have the opportunity to make big plays with big results! they respect one another and they have good chemistry and they listen to one another and they give each other a leg up.

its bittersweet.

but proceed with kindness in your words and hearts. celebrate oscar like theres no tomorrow(i am!) but equally treat people with respect. including lando.

thank you.

[casperth3ghost]

"mundane hcs" but its acc just shit i do on a daily basis

ANYWAYS, a list of random things i do that i think tts & vat7k characters would do‼️(this is like most characters btw, like not js the main ones this is like as many as i can remeber and that fit with my self projection

lance will get home from the busiest day ever and the first thing he does is make himself a bowl of ice cream, no matter what hour of the day, he WILL have a bowl of ice cream

varian tries to brush his teeth twice a day but usually how it goes is he takes a shower and then lays and bed lying to himself like "yeah ill js rest my eyes for a couple minutes and then ill get up" and then he actually falls asleep, but every morning he brushes his teeth with no problems

eugene used to brag about how many cavities hed get until he had to take care of them and started missing when he didnt have any

rapunzel can be mid convo with somebody while texting them and then out of the blue just space out and like "huh..." when she realizes what js happened

cassandra and yong are both lactose intolerant but cass tries to take care of herself(she drinks almond milk & eats frozen yogurt which are 10/10 alternatives for non-lactose free items BTW) but yong just keeps eating everything and then wonders why he feel absolutely diobolical 10 mins later

catalina says shell start a book and then reads 1 page then forgets about it for around 3 months ans then remeber and the gets so focused on it no one knows if shes okay, angry does the same thing but with tv shows

nuru tends to not stop what shes doing to go pee so shes suffered the consequences(shes had a UTI before)

rapunzel, despite telling everyone around her to drink water, shes always suprisingly dehydrated

ulla will wake up at random times at night wondering why the fuck shes awake and then go right back to bed like nothing happened

donella has thought of multiple schemes to kill people but has decided that for her own good she will not commit any of them

quirin forgets to say please and thank you at restruants and then says them last minute and then gets so embarrassed and akward he will just flat out stop talking, he passed this onto varian who seems to suffer with this to even MORE extent bcuz he doesnt realize when someone is complimenting him so he'll just stare at them and then be liek "oh!! oh my gosh thank you!!" but the person already walked away and now he feels like an asshole

adira will wear the same pair of pants for 3 weeks straight w/o washing them bcuz she wears other pairs in between that pair so she has a pant cycle, but none of the pants get washed until she can acc smell like dog shit on them or smth and realizes just how morbidly gross they are

hector says hes a hopeless romantic but has never fallen in love a day in his life

donella knows every word to satisfied from hamilton but she literallt doesnt relate to angelica in any way, shape, or form

catalina is a shameless taylor swift fan

angry is a taylor fan but she will always refuse to admit it bcuz idk she feels ashamed

rapunzel will find a band that scratches her brain and listen to that band until it is literally impossible for her to do so anymore

cassandra loves fettuchini alfredo

king edmund is an accidental social butterfly

queen ariana had attempted to drown willow in a pool more times than she can count

kind fredric will butt into random convos if even just 1 word peaks his intrest

hugo knows how to crochet but never has enough money or motivation to actually make something even mildly useful

hugo is a "booktok" girly but he doesnt and never has had enough money to invest in the shit ton pile of books he wants

varian would rather go to a meuseum then lay in bed at his house

ulla would do cartwheels in an aquarium if she could w/o getting kicked out

cyrus says goodnight and goodbye to everyone but can never muster up to say "i love you" after just bcuz he thinks itll be too akward😓

amber is the type of gay girl to say "ewww lesbian/gay" to her friend/gf bcuz they say smth gay knowing she is just as queer

uhhhh thats all i can think of rn, but like this is mostly based off shit i do... so take all that as you will��‼️ ill post any art i decide to shit out in the next couple of days on here but also a reminder i am painfully active on pintrest so uhhh ya:3!! BTW most of these hcs are just stupid and for fun so like pls dont get offended and feel free to add on or give suggestions:3!!

[ravers8fantasy]

🎶Disco kid headcanon's!!🪩

Honestly, one of the realest ones in all the circuits I fear...

ALSO HE IS 20 AND 6'3??? I thought he was 19...

Okay so turns out bro is 20 so I think he joined when he was 18 or 19

Sings proper flipping loudly in the shower, its a good thing he's good at singing

Will listen to anything, he is more of a melody person than a lyrics person

Has a drawer full of listening devices, he has like 5 pairs of headphones and so many speakers

Had a swag era in highschool (is still kinda in his swag era but remix)

Sometimes shows up to W.B.V.A meetings in full on 70s attire for fun. Im talking silk shirt and high waisted l bell bottoms

Usually catches everyone off guard as well since they are used to seeing him in more modern outfits (im basing these hcs around 2009 and perchance 2010s idk they change on my mood)

Can handle spicy food pretty well.... Even though he ate a singular taki one time and perished

I saw in his contender mode intro cutscene that his licence plate is custom made (its DISCO-1) which made me think he decorates his car

Like he has a pair of fuzzy dice hanging off the mirror in the front, has like stickers on the dashboard and has like custom made seats-

Also theres this nice looking house in the background with this music note gate, either he is rich or his parents are rich

Or is that normal for people in America to have a house like that, I live in an old af house in Scotland so I defo wouldnt know💀

His favourite color is blue, or pink, or mabye yellow and orange but then again he is a sucker for kitsch patterns-

He loves colour. Ik his ass would HATE to see maximalist antique homes turned into an all white sleek mininalist abyss

Is a beast at roller skating, has a pair of blue and yellow ones with little stars all over.

Hates roller blading tho he says 3 he cant dance properly in them which makes him sad

His hair is originally brown, saw someone at a party with buzzed bleached hair and thought it was so cool he decided to get the same thing

Does calisthenics, has been asked a bunch of questions by other boxers asking him how tf he does it

HATES furbies, had one when he was younger and he put it in a draw in his bedroom after it didnt shut up.

He woke up in the middle of the night to a voice asking to be fed and started crying, turns out it was the flippin furby inside the draw

Has the most perfect comedic timing ever, there is never a dull moment when your with Disco kid

Suprsingly doesnt mind horror films, his fave genre list would probably go 1.horror/thriller 2.Action 3.drama/romance

He was a tumbler in his high school's cheer team and did ballroom for a bit, has a bunch of trophies from cheer and competitive ballroom dancing

Loves going down to a deli and getting a sandwich, usually gets a new filling combination everytime he goes

Has the most amazing wardrobe out of all the boxers, I like to think he is like the 'lewis hamilton' of the W.B.V.A (in terms of style not boxing bless also YALL LEWIS HAMILTONS FASHION SENSE IS SO😼😼😼)

The type of guy who never shuts up when watching a film, he literally ends up narrating the whole thing

Literally never stops moving, if he is standing on the spot he will be tapping his foot or move his head to whatever beat is playing in his head

Also like as no beef or issues with any of the other boxers, some of them (Aran... Wait and perchance idk Soda and stuff yknow) might insult him and would just dance and say "ok! Thats your opinion, Not mine though I think im fabulous anyway"

Chat im giggling at this gif anyway if you see any mistakes in grammer please embarass me and call me out and I will correct it with the utmost haste😼

OK HOPE YALL ENJOYED GOODNIGHT (or good morning or uh good day or evening depending on where u are)

[faiirybread]

applause ︴aa23

🎤 in which.. a well known kpop idol meets a formula 1 driver

pt2!

yourusernameofficial just posted!

‘cold shoulder’ out in 24 hours. Enjoy, my blossoms🌷

tagged: smtown

liked by user1, alex_albon, and 9,238,012 others

user1 HOLY SHIITTTT

user2 MOTHER

user3 HUHH?? GIRLIE IS FEEDING US

user4 I LOVE YOU YN

user5 PLS PLS PLS TELL ME THIS IS HER REPUTATION ERA

user6 I THINK ID DIE OMG

user7 NO ONE IS DOING IT LIKE HER

user8 we love you yn!!💗💗💗

user9 forever proud to be a blossom 💐

alex_albon just posted!

Singa-poor luck luck.. Had some fun though! 🇸🇬👋

liked by albon_pets and 158,407 others

user1 youll bounce back in japan albono!

user2 why is fernando looking at me like that..

user3 we love fernando shoe model

user4 WE LOVE YOU ALEX

user5 itll be better next race 💙

yourusernameofficial just posted!

First stage of Could You, Would You, and you guys were magical!! I love hearing your fanchants and cheers, thank you to everyone who watched! 💗 🌷

liked by alex_albon, user1, and 8,261,864 others

user1 BREATHTAKING. AMAZING. GROUNDBREAKING

user2 love from france!

user3 you never fail to impress!!

user4 is it just me or did she seem really tired??

user5 its just you babes

user6 get off her mfking page if your gonna bring her down.. stupid hater

user4 im not hating, im a long time stan but im just worried about her.. going from a year and a half tour right back into a new album promotions is tough..

user5 WE LOVE YOU YN!

user6 😍😍😍

user7 COLD SHOULDER AOTY, COULD YOU WOULD YOU SOTY, YN ARTIST 👏 OF 👏 THE 👏 YEAR ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

user8 ALEX ALBON LIKE?? WHAT IS GOING ON?

user9 who the hell is that..

user8 hes a formula 1 driver!

user9 he needs to get the hell away from yn.. she doesnt need someone like him dragging her down

user10 girl what the hell are you on, all he did was like her post??

user9 i just want the best for her and he is clearly not it 😒

alex_albon just posted a story!

yourusernameofficial Thank you so much for coming, I’m so glad you enjoyed it!

alex_albon I loved it! You are a master at performing 😆

user1 ALBONO A KPOP STAN??

user2 SINCE WHEN DID YOU LIKE YN

user3 GET AWAY FROM MY WIFE

user4 STOP. LET ME HAVE YN WHILE YOU DO YOUR LAPS AROUND THE TRACK

yourusernameofficial just posted!

tagged: smtown

liked by alex_albon, user1, and 8,638,273

comments have been limited

kymillman just posted!

YN YLN spotted at the paddock today! She seemed to be very confused as to where to go, but was pointed in the right direction by some of our drivers.

liked by user1, user2, and 56,823 others

user1 YN AT A RACE?

user2 i thought she was on a hiatus..

user3 shes on a hiatus from music, but she’ll still be out and around 😊

user3 her fashion sense is soo pretty!

user4 right?? i NEED her to meet lewis and zhou!

user3 sorry im not much of a f1 fan, who are they?

user4 lewis is lewis hamilton, a 7-time world champion and an icon in the sport, he has really cool outfits every week and drives for mercedes, and zhou is zhou guanyu, a driver for alpha romeo, and also has really cool outfits, he’s in his second year!

user3 awesome!! ill watch them and alex albon!

user5 so she cancels promos for cold shoulder then goes to a race??

user6 thats what im saying! i dont think that alex albon guy is a good influence on her..

user4 bro be so fr, alex albon did not tell her to go on a hiatus. her logical brain did after she was STALKED AND HARASSED BY HER “FANS”

user6 why is fans in quotes? they wanted to meet her, and shes not easy to meet so they did what they could, whats wrong with that?

user5 dude wtf are you on about, thats stalking and she has a right to be upset, im just wondering why she went to such a highly-publicized event after trying to get out of the public

user7 she looks so tired, i hope shes taking care of herself 😕

[insert-stupid-username]

Ranking drivers based on how far they would get if they did my martial art. (if you scroll down to the bottom I made a little key for what each belt means)

Lewis Hamilton: 5th degree Black belt (2nd degree master): I think he is the cool master that everyone wants teaching their sections. I also think he definetly gets the kids rings in tournements

Yuki Tsunoda: 4th degree Black belt (1st degree master): he just keeps going. its the spite, the spite keeps him determend to earn more and more. Also I think he would run the tricking program and all the kids would love him. The reason he is not higher is age, even still he tested in all the minimum times (you have to be 21 to be considered to test for masters)

Fernando Alonso: 3rd degree Black belt: I know a man that has his personality. thats why he gets thrid. though in my mind he leaves the organization a bit in becuase he thinks he deserves better (he doesnt, hes just being stupid) he comes back years latter like bro we are so organized here

Daniel Ricciardo: 2nd degree Black belt: hes just chill, he comes back from a month or two than dissapears again. I think he just doesnt care to get thrid

Franco Colapinto: 2nd degree Black belt: I know someone from south america that is JUST like franco personality wise. Also I have no reason for this rank I can just picture him wandering around world championships with him Mate sharing with friends and yelling at sparing matches. Beware him in the ring he spars VERY agressive and would draw blood if it were legal

Kevin Magnussen: 1st degree Black belt: his kid quit a while ago but he got into it enough to get to black belt. He still trains but he just doesnt want to test for a higher degree

Oscar Piastri: 1st degree Black belt: he is satisfied and doesnt feel the internal push for more

Carlos Sainz: 1st degree Black belt: he thought I dont need to go furthur black belt is cool enough. He thinks he has learned everything needed

Checo: Blue belt: His kids stoped going so he desided not to go furthur. he was only in this to spend a tiny bit of time with them anyway, cause when else would he see them.

Lando Norris: Blue belt: I dont like him. so he fails his black belt test becuase he was too cocky and fireworked it (started strong but got weak fast) becuase of this single set back karatie was dead to him. (my least favorite type of student, I get so annoyed at these people sometimes cause like dude... you were so close... just freaking try dont give up when it gets hard. the students that legit cant continue I get but these I dont)

Alex Albon: Red belt: His siblings were his main motivation. without them pushing him he just gave up

Charles Leclerc: Red belt: thought he looked cool enough in red and didnt actually want a black belt (nobody there to compete against so his enthusiasum went away)

Liam Lawson: Brown Red belt: got distracted by another sport so he just stopped showing up and nobody knows what happened (for all the instructors know he could be dead in a ditch)

Valtteri Bottas: Brown Red belt: Started with his family and when they stoped going he kept with it until slowly he quit

Zhou Guanyu: Brown belt: His siblings quit so he stoped showing up

Esteban Ocon: Brown belt: I think he got bored and just stop showing for no reason

George Russell: Green belt: I can see him starting with carmen and then just fizzling out rather quickly

Lance Stroll: Green belt: he got frustrated that he wasnt progressing fast enough and so he quit

Nico Hulkenberg: Orange Green belt: He started with his kid and than quit when they did

Logan Sargeant: Orange belt: I just dont see him going to far. to me hes a kid that started cause of his parents was in the studio for like 5 or 6 months than just got bored/other sports seasons started so bye bye karatie

Pierre Gasly: Yellow belt: I think he would start it thinking he would be super good and skip belts but than quit becuase he wasnt progressing fast enough and he felt like a fool for not getting techniques perfectly the first time

Max Verstappen: Yellow/3rd degree black belt: If his father isnt pushing him he doesnt go further than a yellow belt. though dude does not strike me as a nerotypical person so if his father wants it or he gets hyperfixedted on it than he will 100% get to 3rd degree back belt. But that man would not go further cause I dont see him wanting to teach kids.

My credentials is Ive been a black belt longer than Ive been training. I was a colored belt for 6 years and Ive been a black belt for 7 years now. (im a thrid degree & teach a ton at my studio) (it goes lowest to highest: yellow, yellow orange, orange, orange green, green, green brown, brown, brown red, red, red blue, blue, first degree black, second degree black, third degree black, 4th master, 5th master, 6th master, 7th master, 8th master, grandmaster (there is only one of these at a time, the youngest to get it was in their 70s)

[rainbow-pop-arts]

WA-CHAAA, we can talk about Trigun Maximum vol 1 now, baby!! This is part 1!

Some thoughts about TriMax chap 1-2 under the cut!

Here comes the The Punisher!!

Here comes Va- I mean, Eriks and Lina!

Okay…so, when I saw this in the anime I was like “Wait, is he actually gonna strip?” then BOOM, I saw his butt. (⁄ ⁄>⁄ _ ⁄<⁄ ⁄) He also acted like a dog and oh how much I screamed in cringe (Oh my, Wolfwood saw him naked ¬‿¬)

Epic plant healing ability. Man, I wonder what other cool plant ability he can do…that I don’t know of yet?

Aaaaaaw, Vash missed Wolfwood

Aaaaaaw, Wolfwood missed Vash

Oh yeah, someone told me that Vash retiring as Eriks is unhealthy coping. Here’s what they said:

“more like he doesnt want to cause the same amount of pain and suffering and since hes the cause of it all he goes “off-grid” (hiding in plain sight) 

"changing his name and way of life is apart of that”

“hes not taking accountability for his actions or even trying to stop the root cause”

“he just gave up there”

I guess that make sense? I dunno, what do you guys think?

I wanna…I wanna wrap him up in a blanket and hug him 🥺

Badass grandma. Don’t mess with a grandma who would grab a gun to save someone she cares about >:)

Here goes The Punisher and his epic machine gun that looks like a cross (truly a badass priest)

Oh woah guys, It’s Hamilton from act 2 of Hamilton the Musical!! Y'know, where he had a duel with Aaron burr

Just Vash and Wolfwood fighting for food (sorry for the bad manners, Granny Sheryl)

Real footage of grown man getting kicked by a 12-yr-old 2

Anyways, Vash being epic (see, Wolfwood thinks so too! :D)

Can we just…can we just appreciate these bits of moments that Vash had with Lina and Sheryl throughout 2 years??? 🥹

I wonder why part of his hair is black? (Damn, Lina sure is good at cutting hair, maybe she should cut mine if it gets a bit long)

Vash is best big bro

Welp, there they go leaving Lina and Sheryl (I hope we’ll see them again)

That's all for part 1! ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)σ"

Bonus thoughts: So I read a fanfic where reader was being taken care of by a dependent plant but that plant's more sentient than the other dependants. So cuz of that I have this silly imagination of a kid who's in the ship where Vash grew up on and that kid befriended that kind of dependent plant. (This is TriStamp-coded btw) Then it gets sillier, cuz then the dependent somehow have the ability to become tiny and the kid has container for the dependent. How does the dependent survive? Because of the special water it was in! ๑(◕‿◕)๑ .....I'm not sure if that would be possible but anything can be possible in the fanfic world

[alinktoana]

new yakuza game, new reasons to be upset at rgg ✨

im not even gonna consider kiwami 1 or 2 bc i havent played them and i dont think they should matter to the point i want to make

but youre telling that guy

and this guy

are the same person?

did that coma erase kiryu's memories of majima or is this yokoyama talking out of his ass bc he doesnt see why majima should even exist?

at this point im blaming everything thats upsetting to me about yakuza on yokoyama lmao the guy has given us many great things but the direction rgg is going with kiryu is so weird. specially given theyre bringing him back basically for marketing purposes, it amazes me how *he* doesnt understand how majima is a marketing darling.

dont get me wrong, i dont mind majima not being on Y8. i *wish* kiryu wasnt there, bc it's time for ichiban&gang to shine. i love the idea of gaiden, ishin and other spin offs, so we can go on playing with kiryu in other bits of his story, and other characters, but *ive said it once and ill say it again, the torch has been passed on, kiryu has been saying goodbye on as many games as he's been in*. even though yokoyama has been there from the beginning, and rgg really didnt give us much interaction, Y3 gave us so much emotion and told us about their bond rather than showed (i mean, for the most part - again, i wouldve loved to have seem more, and im guessing that's what the kiwamis are for). and now you're telling me Y6 kiryu doesnt understand him. wow. date talks about understanding kiryu bc theyve known each other for ages. and kiryu doesnt *get* majima. sure. one of the things that really stuck to me playing ps2 Y1 is that kiryu and majima really are batman and joker, and it's baffling good how they actually got mark hamill to voice majima. and im not here for batman at all, but it's the trope. it's hamilton and burr, it's edward teach and izzy hands (lol), heck, it's jesus and judas (not all my musical theater references showing lol hey taika 😉) . it's not about villany or anything, it's about them being equal power houses on their town, it's about ying and yang, it's even reminiscent of nishiki and kiryu. and i got that just by playing the games. so if the person writing them doesnt see it, that's concernin lol whats good? lmao whats even real? the gaslighting yokoyama lmao

sometimes i forget why i say Y3 is my favorite but that kind of thing reminds me why.

also bless ugaki, a character he's played for years being dissed by his own creator to his face and he's smiling. never change ugaki, never change. (btw credit to the awesome people who uploaded the game footage on yt) also bless ugaki, a character he's played for years being dissed by his own creator to his face and he's smiling. never change ugaki, never change. (btw credit to the awesome people who uploaded the game footage on yt) edit: yeah i didnt bother looking at credits but apparently yokoyama was pretty hands off on Y6, im just being blindly biased :v i should stop lmao *but my concerns about rgg's direction with kiryu remain, regardless who is actually penned anything*

[softness-and-shattering]

Facing the fact that not judging someone based on their media preferences also applies to popular media like the MCU, or Taylor Swift, or Hamilton or [insert capitalist/propaganda/problematic TM creator here].

Like. Im gonna mentally side-eye anyone still into harry p*tter. And some media do seem to attract certain types of people.

I think its about, do we trust each other to be thinking critically, do we respect that ability to think critically, or do we assume everyone (which must include ourselves) needs our hands held.

Because sometimes Im by myself and I feel like I need to justify to an internal critic, an internal manifestation of discourse and peer pressure, why I should be allowed to enjoy something. And thats honestly infuriating. Stop telling me my fun is wrong. I can feel the triumph of this battle sequence while also knowing that war is objectively awful. Its fiction. Im engaging for emotions not for moral lessons. I can watch a movie without reminding myself every five seconds that this actor has hurt people. Everyone has hurt people. Some more publically or worse than others. Enjoying a story isnt endorsement of an actor. (Finances aside).

Theres conversations to be had for sure about separating art and artist, and financial support of people and institutions that are doing harm. And also, enjoyment does not need to be laced with guilt and suffering. No art and no artist, no human will ever achieve moral perfection. Famous people are not inherently good role models and maybe we need to stop expecting that. That doesnt mean all is above criticism, to the contrary. It just means we should enjoy art and stop getting so tied up in if we're allowed to like it or if we have to perform a bunch of hail marys or whatever so everyone knows we're good little suffering catholics and we aren't Gd forbid having too much fun ever.

Perhaps fun and critical thinking are separate things and we should stop trying to make them the same.

[sethdomain]

Hazbin hotel season 1 honest totally unbiased review /lies

Pro's

-Awesome musical with great talent like Husk VA's (I'am weak to musical that sounds like hamilton rap writing sorry)

-Yuri🎉🎉🎉🎉

-fun animation to look at, they were definitely competent i applaud the animator to be able to animate vivziepop character design.

-Great sets of character and personality and great premise with potential that is fun to think about

-Circus art direction is derivative and cool

-Worldbuiding is fun

-It doesn't really fall into the cliche where it doesnt take itself seriously because its afraid the audience will find it corny

-Cool character design, as much as i roast the show for their twink tumblr sexyman factory design, they do sometimes cook hard af

-Chaggie

-Have i ever told you i love Chaggie

-Charlie and Vagina

Con's

-The most glaring issue is their horrible pacing, clearly lacks episode that fill us in silly hijinks that make us grew more attached with the character more or episode that explore the world around the character. Because of this the season 1 feel like a 3 season packed heavy lore into one season with frankenstein stitching

-Too much telling, not showing. They don't show us much stuff like how heaven is also bad in its own way, but just tell us through musical number.

-Lacks of character building for many character, many character see to still be used in a very little amount in the show, mainly the main cast. I think Angel Dust has the most character developtment in the show, but still in the standar of things if im being honest all the main cast is lacking. They feel like an unearned character developtment, like they just developt off screen and we as the viewer did not get to experience that at all, we just get told that now they have fit 2 whole season worth of character building now and we have to come to term with that.

-Lacks world exploring, Listen bruh explore hell or shit especially HEAVEN

-Repetitive character design trope, bruh stop putting goddamn twinks im scared of them

-Some episode have nauseating camera panning

-Cluttered character design, Some character design just have so much detail in them it hurt me eyesss

-when will Chaggie do scissoring🎉🎉🎉

-You dont get it i need my women filthy, iam so GAY

-can we put the butch in Charlie i think that would be awesome🔥🔥🔥🔥

-lacks CHAGGIE, I NEED THEM ON SCREEN 24/7 IDC IF ITS BAD WRITING /jokes

---------

So, basically I think Hazbin Hotel is a very fun show with great concept, but unfortunately it rush thing too soon.

I genuinely believe if they don't blow it off with a bang and make it like a standard cartoon per episode like SVTFOE where we get silly hijinks and sometime gut wrenching episode they can still run to maybe about to season 4 i think, well it depends if the audience might save them... Hazbin isnt exactly a highly celebrated show because of viv.

And for special coverage about the SA/victim angel plotline, i truly dont gave a fuck about him but i think people blow it off too far. I don't think Angel is a bad SA representation, i think the show did decently on representing him as victim and Val as a abuser.

They don't glorify Val and they clearly put Angel Dust as a survivor first. For how the scene 'poison' representing, how people feel about that I truly cannot control what people think of that and it is a mixed bag, some people say its bad some say its fine, I think its okay-ish some frame is a bit icky thought, i can admit that but it does supposed to make you uncomfortable and it does make sense for Angel Dust as a character. But still, in some shot the line between horryfying oh shit he's being sexually abused to holy shit rape hot sexy times gets REAL blurry.

Sorry not sorry if there are so much CONS in this, but i truly only do that to the show im truly invested in. Its to show that i want to think how a show could be better and how much i cared

[fdrsamericanflagduckfloaty]

I wanna read one of your president fics but I have like .5% knowledge about the US presidents so could you give me a rundown on the presidents in one of the fics I should read-? Also why do you know so much. Are you planning on becoming a history major-

okay so like ngjfgkbh its below but read tags for all issues mentioned:

the chatfic is basically all of them so i cant run down ALL of them, but basically fuck LBJ, fuck reagan, fuck jefferson, fuck FDR, fuck like... a hella ton of those mfs. stan bobby kennedy and jack kennedy. for the linken fic, JFK was obviously the the 35th president. He was involved in the Space Race between the USA and the Soviet Union for like, basically who can get in space faster. His Presidency carried most of the Cold War and he actually started to draw back soldiers from Vietnam and TRIED to repair this stupid ass government, but LBJ said 'fuck that' and put the soldiers back. His soldiers were... uh... well... cant explain but illegally horrible.

Lincoln, 16th President, Civil War. Was Republican which I know sounds hella unusual but back then, parties were basically switched. Hell, Jackson, one of the worst who did the Trail of Tears which took Native Americans' land and forced them off of it, created the Democratic Party. His Presidency was mostly on the Civil War but of course the Emancipation Proclamation came through. The War was originally states rights but became slavery real quick. States--mostly the South, which made up the Confederacy--receded from the start and boom it started. Once it was over they began to come back. Bro got shot ofc as you know. Was hella sad and depressed and had mommy issues + abandonment issues + was probably bisexual.

JFK probably was too, and there's a BUNCH of weird coincidences between them, so that's why LinKen exists. One of the best nicknames i've seen for them is Headshot Homos. He had chronic illness + his back was always in pain and he had to take a shit ton of pills for it. He may've been SA'd as a kid too, which leads into the hypersexual activity, and that leads to the cheating.

SO TL;DR: you dont need to know just about anything to read the fics. I barely go for historical accuracy. For the notes, it's usually at the end where I add in any fun history facts, most of which are on TR because... well. They are. The chatfic and some references may not make sense if you don't know some stuff, but the comments--the 100+ there are, or 200+ i dont remember--have a bunch of facts in them by some super cool ass readers/friends. There's two other chatfics made inspired by mine, and the one by JFKMyBeloved has a bunch of facts in I believe both chapters notes. The other is hella accurate probably too.

Overall you can go in and see them as original characters and you're good. I'll explore the trauma as I have in chapter 11 throughout. And as I said any TR shit WILL be explained because I can't stop including that mf in EVERYTHING 💀💀

and tbh it just started as a hamilton phase, became more, and soon i was reading a fuck ton of books. i guess my brain decided TR would be my ONE president that I care the most about. 2000+ pages have been put into learning about this mf and HOURS of documentaries and reading his letters to his kids (it's in a book, A Bully Father, 10/10 with some spelling mistakes though). So I can barely tell you about the others but I WILL tell you abt TR ahsjdkfghnm

so yeah kind of i guess. if political science doesnt work, it's history, and then english. that's my Plan A, B, and C in order.

[novemberdevils]

I’m genuinely so glad you enjoy my rambling so much because I felt like its a bit too much especially since im still in the first chapter and still want to talk about everything so today you will get A Lot of my thoughts since the devs and Las Vegas start close to each other!

No because I didn’t even KNOW that Norris and Carlos were even remotely Close to COLTON AND CONNOR WHAT??? And they are Close enough to organise a golf trip, being a logan sargeant is always because us non-American get so endeared by his American ass, jack and trevor being kyle and logan and I miss that im a fake fan how could I miss that please ignore me while I cry because I missed this easter egg while saying im the biggest fan.

THANK YOU FOR NOT REPEATING THE 22 SEASON I will give my first child as a gift, AH the torture of wanting to talk about something but not wanting to spoil it is BAD and I dont think my comments help you with that, jack spiralling basically proves that he a Ferrari driver because there has not been one who didnt need at least a bit of therapy, also jack and his ability to NOT meditate amuses me so much, poor bedard being the only rookie in merc which is dog shit someone needs to keep an eye on him, you are correct fuck zac brown but I will try and get the references and not embarrass myself, No believe me when I say that your media people are smarter than the reality because at least they are fictional but IN REAL LIFE?.

please im mourning carlos being in williams like my husband is going to war-he is- because what do you mean LEWIS WOULD RACE IN FERRARI?? I will not believe this shit until I see in red-I cannot even picture him in red dear god help me-, ughhh the annoying twitter user with a carlos pfp make me want to fight someone because I have SEEN this comments in real life; your fic is too close to reality because you get the race stress stupid media and annoying tweets and it makes me twitch, jack having a burner f1twt account doesnt surprise me but I can imagine him finding out that us fans want cunty jack and he spirals every time he says something and its a never ending spiral, hugheswdc is my actual bestie idc that she doesn’t exist irl she is my bestie through and through, a jack fan wanting him in Ferrari exists even here love that for them, nico praises jack and then jack overthink said praise is my favourite dynamic, OH NICO POLE SOON!!!

do I annoy when I reply to your replies or do you enjoy them? Because I can stop if it does

no such thing as too much. i will always yap about inertia. i'm probably just as annoying about it lmao so all good. and i do enjoy the replies to my replies do not stop pls and thank you

YEAH I WAS BEWILDERED BY THE LINEUP... thought my eyes were deceiving me. like carlos and lando sure and herta and daly also sure as independent pairs of each other but all four of them ??? wild crossover. maybe i should start up some Wild Crossovers in the fic universe. i have a pretty half-baked hypothetical indy grid floating in my brain (complete with some drivers i have not revealed in-fic yet) so maybe i will. do. something. mwahahahaha

the lewis to ferrari move was NOT on my bingo card like i remember when the rumors were rumoring i was like ain't no way then it very much was way. like okay. i guess we are playing that game. lewis hamilton world tour

yeah like noah fence to the carlos enjoyers but there are some Real annoying carlos fans on twitter. so of course i had to showcase that in the form of one very obnoxious bitch. negative shoutout to jase smoothoperationnn. ofc they come across as Enemy in the fic especially bc they literally actively hate jack. oops

hischpole hischpole hischpole. Soon. i haven't started writing that race yet but i am nearing it. the races keep getting longer and longer it is not even funny i'm gonna explode

[dear-ao3]

back with more!

-so back to 2016 Briefly. i need you all to know that nico did Bonkers shit to win. this was pre driver weight minimum restrictions so to get weight off the car (so he could go faster) he took the paint off his helmet (it was previously yellow because he and lewis had yellow helmets when they karted together or something), he cut his socks, he took parts off his seat, he stopped cycling to loose muscle in his legs, he stopped sleeping with his wife to focus better and No he should Not have done this but its important to know that he Did and that was why he Stopped because he knew racing lewis was quite literally killing him and he couldnt keep at it

-and like willd shit happened that season too. notably they crashed into eachother in Barcelona and toto aparently made them pay for the damages. they had an insane teammate rivalry. one of the most insane.

-yes he is the only one to beat lewis at his peak in equal machinery

-so anyway he announces his retirement at the 2016 prize giving ceremony which was like less than a week after the championship was won

-prior to that he and lewis did a press conference together at the last race in abu dhabi and by all accounts theyre like not really getting along too well at this point and lewis spends like a whole several minutes praising nico being like yeah whatever happens happens in the race and ive loved racing with him as a teammate like we dreamed about this as kids im proud of him hes come so far blah blah blah and nicos like. in tears next to him (remember lewis didnt know that if nico won he was retiring) and nico says something about how the only thing he could manage to eat that week was fucking kellogg frosties which was the stupid cereal the two of them used to eat and yeah you all see how insane this is anyway i could go on but i will Not

-so nico retires after his first and only win to everyones surprise, lewis goes on to win 4 (or 5 depending on who you ask) consecutive titles

-nico fucks off and does his own thing for awhile, as i said hes married and he has two girls and he also has a youtube channel that he used after he left racing to pretty much like praise the shit out of lewis hamilton and his driving and whatever else

-he also returns to the paddock as a part time commentator for sky sports. which is very interesting because its pretty obvious every time that he is there that he hates pretty much everyone on the commentary team and has no regard for rules and just says whatever the fuck he wants. its pretty clear he doesnt do it for money (he has more than enough of that) but doe sit cause he actually like racing and cars and all that (its really interesting to hear him speak about the cars cause he actually knows how to explain things well)

-this is sort of a disaster sometimes but its an interesting disaster. because on top of everything nico is fucking Smart. im pretty sure (and again none of this is fact checked) that he got into some top engineering college and decided to race instead. like the things he knows about racing and cars is wild. so the normal commentators will say something and nico will be like no. incorrect. wrong. see what he did there? he lost 2 tenths on that corner. his brake balance was off. his engine mode needs adjusting. they need more downforce. or whatever. and he will be Right.

-he also just. says things. like again, theres really only so much you can reveal that is public knowledge. last weekend Alone when he was commentating on a practice session he was like hehe yeah so i have an offer in my email right now to buy part of alpine (a team which has repeatedly denied that they are Not for sale btw) and i could buy it but its too much of a disaster so im not interested. oh how much is it? why should i tell you??? oh i will anyway its a billion euros! for example.

-and then he will also call people the hell out. presently hes waging absolute war against mclaren because they refuse to distinguish a number 1 and number 2 driver and thats exactly the hot water mess that nico found himself in at mercedes with lewis (tho. as i have said. lando and oscar are NOT comparable to brocedes. no one ever was and no one ever will be again the circumstances were too insane)

-so yeah. he shows up in a cunty weird and kind of ugly outfit (usually consisting of several different shades of white), takes a picture in front of a team or a person or makes a prediction that curses someone (unless its lewis lewis is immune to the curse), says bonkers shit, prasies lewis hamilton live on air and then leaves

-and yeah he still praises the hell out of lewis and talks about how incredible of a driver he is and this and that and knows literally his driving style inside out and backwards (the clips of him commentating on lewis laps are insane) but despite this lewis will not talk about him, will not even mention him, will actually go out of his way to not mention him (for the Record i am obligated to put here that i dont think lewis owes nico anything at all whatsoever and i am not saying that he does, but this is a post about nico not lewis) meanwhile nicos like has anyone talked about lewis recently? has anyone pulled out an insane career stat of his that is slightly obscure? cause i will and ill do it right now

-and they live in the same apartment building in monaco but apparently dont speak to eachother because of how awful the teammate thing was but every now and then nico will drop some insane piece of lore that has everyone going hold on wait fucking What (like that lewis gets his kids presents at christmas)

-but yeah other than that hes like busy being a girl dad and posting on his favorite social media platform (LinkedIn) (yes i am serious) and spends a lot of time advocating for the environment and figuring out how to make f1 and cars better for the planet and all that and yes he also had a terrible botox era that we wont talk about but yeah overall. insane man. absolutely insane. no ones ever done it like him and no one ever will again.

photos for context:

nico and lewis gokarting

nico at williams in his peak britney era:

the nico lewis first podium that kills everyone:

nico at mercedes:

some fuck ass mercedes pr:

nico serving cunt at the paddock this year:

and if youre really enthralled, this highlight reel from his youtube

hey wait im also new to f1 but i saw the other ask and i was curious abt what you meant when you said no one will ever do it like nico rosberg?? also retiring after your first championship win is insane lmao what a power move

nico rosberg is just. he’s insane. he’s cunty. he’s wonderful. he possesses sass and audacity unlike any other. we unfortunately do not have time to get into his whole story (my lunch break is only so long) but here’s some highlights:

-technically he’s a nepo baby. his dad, keke rosberg, won the world championship in 1982 and they remain one of the Few father son duos to both win a world championship (don’t ask me who the others are idk but i know they exist)

-he and lewis hamilton met when they were kids in the late 90s sometime and were gokarting teammates at some point in i think the early 2000s? (not fact checking i don’t have the time rn) and they were Besties. they’ve talked about this before, mostly in older interviews, but the gist is that both of them were outcasts from the other karting kid in opposite ways (nico was the son of a champion and rich and lewis was from nothing and pretty much the only poc most of the time) and that drew them together and they were Menaces according to legend. everything was a competition and they trashed hotel rooms and ate pizza and ice cream and kellogg frosties and went to greece and dreamed of being in f1 together

-nico signed with williams in 2006. his teammate was mark webber. and nico had long flowing blonde hair (this is important). he crashed at one race and mark webber said “britney’s in the wall” cementing the nickname britney, like britney spears. jenson button (another driver) said later on that they called nico britney because he was “very pretty” (do with that what you will)

-he was just. insane. cunty. constantly looked like a european bond villain. wore god awful shoes. whole bit. once he stayed in his car when it got craned off the track cause he didn’t want his hair to get wet. which is insane cause he’s wearing a helmet it would have gotten equally as not wet had he gotten out.

-anyway, lewis made it to f1 in 2007 and they had their first podium together i think that year (?) and it’s cute and fun and oh boy you’re not ready for what these two have coming

-lewis won the championship in 2008 (but he almost won in 2007, his rookie year) at mclaren.

-nico went to mercedes when they recentered the grid in 2010. his teammate was michael schumacher, who was fresh out of retirement. (yes the michael schumacher, 7x world champion). michael fucked with nico endlessly according to legend, including making him piss in a bucket pre race because he would hog the bathroom until the last possible second. nico still out preformed him most of the time, and the car was mid as hell.

-michael retired part 2 at the end of 2012. and who replaced him but lewis hamilton

-so the two of them were teammates again. the cards were absolute Stacked against them. because yes they were besties yes they’d known eachother forever but the first person you’re judged against is your teammate. and you’re trying to beat your teammate. and lewis already had a championship. nico wanted a championship.

-2013 was relatively chill. the car was kinda mid. they did well but not fantastic and did some fuck ass pr (highly reccomend looking those videos up)

-2014 they had a car that could win. and they started fighting eachother for wins. they played all kinds of mind games against eachother and withheld stats and nico ran illegal engine modes (supposedly) and lewis said they were no longer friends after nico supposedly wrecked his monaco qualifying one year but they claimed they still supported eachother and were friends off track. lewis won in 2014 and in 2015. but nico was right behind him and he wanted to win a championship, he didn’t want to be a number 2 driver

-so in 2016 nico did some insane shit. he stopped sleeping with his wife so that he could get better sleep or something, he did weird things to cut weight, he basically did everything and then some to win. and then he did. he won the championship and then at the prize giving ceremony announced he was retiring. he didn’t tell lewis this.

more after i get off work :)