#AND IM PUSHING IT BECAUSE IT'S STILL TECHNICALLY LONG

[prosebushpatch]

I rewrote my thesis and it's under 120k words bay-beeeeeeeee!!!!!!! Let's goooooo!!!!!!

[bmpmp3]

dysgraphic artiƨts risɘ UP!!!!!

[crvstybowlofcereal]

this is a really specific vent(?) post. im processing things by putting them in words. its not serious, feel free to ignore me lol

i just want to say that a couple years ago when i was in the beginning stages of researching autism (and would soon realize i am most likely autistic) i was in a relationship. and communication in a relationship is So Very important to me. I would constantly ask how he was (obviously it was more specific to whatever situation was going on) and he would always say he was fine. If I had even the Slightest hint that he wasn't actually Fine (like 19 times out of 20) i would continue asking if he was sure and if he wanted to talk, and he continued to say he was fine. half the time i assumed he meant it and i read the situation wrong, the other half of the time i assumed he didn't want to talk about it.

he ended up breaking up with me because i

"didn't pick up on some things"

"what kind of things?" i asked

"idk, just, things."

and he had been talking to my friend (U) about our relationship, and telling her that i wasn't picking up on things. she got mad at me and we had a "fight" for a short time, she thought i was being a bad partner, and her sister (M) (who is toxic and possessive) felt like i wasn't spending enough time with her, so she complained about it to their mom, who got mad at U for it for some reason? so U also brought all that up, telling me M felt left out. (i wasn't leaving M out of anything, i was sitting with my partner at lunch half of the time, she was welcome to join, but didnt, looking back i think M has RSD and maybe i should have been more direct when moving to a new location to explicitly invite her) (U was also not in school at the time due to covid, so its not like i was spending more time with her over M, which is something M would get so upset about if she perceived it to be that way [she was incredibly possessive of me as a friend and the extent of it made me feel like an object tbh])

U never brought up the issues my partner talked about, because that's how we are, we don't make it known someone was venting to us, to respect their privacy, but it fueled her emotions during our "argument" so i really only heard her being mad at me for not including M, (which i later learned is because M's emotions were made to be her problem when they shouldn't have, this has been a running problem so it wasnt that surprising to learn) so i started spending more time with M, but it was school, and i had work, so schedules only allowed so much time, and any time I was with M (lunch and one class) was when i was also with my partner, but i had other classes with him so i assumed it was fine, but he started drifting away (also around a time i attempted to communicate something important about our relationship, which ended up making him uncomfortable, but he didn't say anything about it until we had a conversation after breaking up)

i was stuck in a place where i felt like no one around me communicated how they felt and still expected me to understand them and do what they wanted me to do

U and i recently reflected on this and realized my ex was a shitty communicator (he and his next partner also broke up because he didn't say how he felt and expected them [also most likely autistic] to... just kinda know ig?) and that she should have gotten my side of the story (she had no idea i was frequently checking on him and trying to get him to talk to me)

and that she wasnt actually upset at me about M, she was upset that people were making it her problem, and she was especially upset during this reflection to learn that M was not being left out at all, she was just doing That Thing again where she wanted me to be Her friend and Only Her friend.

U AND I ARE NOT MAD AT EACH OTHER FOR ANY OF THIS, I WAS NEVER MAD AT U AND U WAS ONLY MAD ABOUT HER PERCEPTION OF THE SITUATION, AND ONLY FOR A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME, EVERYTHING IS FINE

so basically i went like a year and a half thinking that people were rightfully mad at me and i was too self absorbed to pay attention to other peoples' emotions and i started learning how to read people again (clearly my body language research from middle school wasn't cutting it anymore) only for me to realize i just need people to be a little more direct that allistic people typically are, and those specific people were just being dogshit at communicating, (even for allistic people, relative to my needs)

anyways highschool post-covid was Really Fucking Weird and socially stressful for me

TL;DR reflecting on my communication needs not only not being met, but being far undershot for even a "normal" persons needs and how i was convinced I was the problem because of circumstances

[givemaycoffee]

Guess who slept almost 9 hours and has literally nothing planned for the day but a dinner date with J in the evening 😌

Ch’girl is gonna relaaaax

[highvern]

Talk

Pairing: Kwon Soonyoung x f!reader

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

warnings:  oral sex/face sitting/69, prone bone, dom/sub dynamics (dom!reader/sub!hoshi),  protected sex, impact play (spanking), mentions of butt stuff but nothing explicit

Length: ~ 4.3k

Note: this ended up way longer than i originally planned... by like 2k but im weak for sub hoshi. realized i accidentally made them schmidt and cece from new girl.... oh well. as always thank u @gyuswhore for suffering my horrible punctuation and EVERYONE HAS TO READ HER UP COMING HOSHI FIC FOR PIRATE HOSHI I DEMAND IT

series m.list: Houdini [s], Green Light [s, f], YUCK [f], Casual [a, s, f], Mine [s], espresso [f, s]

m.list

This blog is intended for 18+ only! Minors/blank blogs will be blocked.

Soonyoung talks. A lot. 

Sometimes it makes no sense. Like the occasions he calls you after a night out and slurs his words through the speaker as you hum agreement to who knows what until he passes out while still on the line, letting you hear every snore and smack of his lips until you hang up; or when he’s inside you and it's all a bit too much that he has to tell you how good it feels in excruciating detail; or when you both wake up in the morning, you late for work and him trying to talk you into keeping the sheets warm for just a few more minutes, and Soonyoung thinks he’s convinced you but fifteen more minutes really won’t hurt because his apartment is closer to your office anyway.

He talks so much that not hearing his voice the second he opens the door is like a slap in the face.

There's no invitation inside, or lukewarm greeting. The door hangs ajar, Soonyoung already back down the hall in the direction of his room with the expectation you’ll follow. 

You do, but with the same hesitancy you’d approach a wild animal: curious and on edge.

Despite the hour, his roommates aren’t anywhere to be seen. No bodies sprawled across the couch or light under their doors. Their presence never stopped you before but it’s unsettling that there's no buffer of anything to break the storm cloud choking the atmosphere. Just stark exposure to whatever is clearly bothering Soonyoung that he won’t tell you about because, technically, you two don’t do that. Or, he does and you vehemently refuse all of it with less and less authenticity each time.

Soonyoung doesn’t prattle on about his day or ask about yours as you trail behind him. He throws off his shirt without a word, collapses on the edge of the mattress, and roughly pulls you into his lap. It’s cold and unfeeling and exactly the kind of sex you’d enthusiastically participate in a year ago. But nothing like the Soonyoung you’ve grown familiar with over the past few months.

He doesn’t comment on the low cut of your top, falling into the motions without the usual banter. 

You wiggle free from his grasp, trying to meet his gaze. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He doesn’t look at you before taking back up where he left off.

“Stop.” You push him back, trying to get a look at his face but he stays in the crook of your neck. “Stop.”

The silence that follows is loud. He collapses back into the bed, arms curling up to hide away from whatever is chasing him.

“I said I’m fine,” he mumbles.

“Could've fooled me,” you huff.

“Doesn’t matter. Not what you come here for anyway, right?”

A half truth that stings more than you’d like. It sinks in your gut in the quiet dark of his room.

“You know what? Forget I asked, I’m leaving.”

“Wait,” he says, arms attempting to snake around your waist but you’re already up.

“No. You don’t need to be an asshole when I’m just trying to be nice.”

“Because you’re sunshine and rainbows all the time?”

“Did I fucking say I was? If you’ve got a problem with it you’ve had long enough to lose my number.”

“I’m sorry, I just…” he sighs heavily. “Bad day.”

You soften at the break in his voice. Stepping back over, you stand between his legs. He looks small, hunched over with his head in his hands and the weight of the world on his shoulders. The light you’ve come to associate with having him within reach is gone and all that's left is a man you don’t really recognize. He buries his face in the warmth of your stomach, and goes limp as you run a hand across his shoulders.

“Do—” you clear your throat. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Because if Soonyoung is talking there's less chances for you to open your mouth and screw it all up. You don’t know how to be doughy and tender with the same level of ease he possesses. You’ll probably fail trying but it's the least you can do.

It’s uncharted territory; for you, for this, whatever this is because it doesn’t really resemble anything you’ve done before even though the foundation is the same. Because you care about Soonyoung, and he obviously cares about you. But you’re not sure how to let him and even less sure how to return it.

“No.” 

“Okay,” you say, at a loss for what comes next.

Inactivity breeds restlessness. Without any idea how to do this on your own, you default to the steps he took when you were half cooked on your bathroom floor.

Soonyoung eyes you with questions but doesn’t speak as you drag him into the en suite. Bites his tongue as you work off your clothes under the sterile overhead light and then move to work on his; raising his arms when you poke him and managing his pants on his own. He even smiles, or his mouth twitches in a vague allusion to a grin, when you flick water at him after guaranteeing the temperature won’t give you both pneumonia.

Finally tucked behind the shower curtain, he stands dumbly. Not another move to help, content to watch you wash his hair, nails raking over his scalp until he shivers. 

You ignore the prod at your thigh. Focused on letting the warmth of the water do the heavy lifting, you soak a washcloth in soap and lather his skin until it tinges pink. A shampoo mohawk earns a kiss dusted along your shoulders and you might even blush a bit if you weren’t so focused on perfecting the spikes so he looks like one of those 90s alternative poster boys.

Out of the shower, his vow of silence continues. Everything he isn’t saying is clear in his eyes, especially when you slather his face in one of those mud masks, painting him bright green. He’s less intimidating with chunks of clay in his eyebrows.

He isn’t accommodating but he also doesn’t outright refuse which seems to be the best you’re going to get. 

“You look like Shrek,” you snort, satisfied and turning towards the mirror to cover your own face in a matching shade.  

“Well then you're Fiona.” His head comes over your shoulder, chin digging into bare skin to watch you in the mirror. His chest is sticky against your back from steam but you don’t mind if it means he’ll talk to you.

“Actually,” you think, wiggling to face him. “I think you’re more like Donkey.” 

“The dragon fits you better anyway.”

“Are you calling me scary?” you gasp.

“Yes.”

“Good. Remember that next time you want me to suck on your balls.”

He winces. “I can feel them retreating into my body already.”

“Don’t make me laugh, it’ll mess up the mask.”

Without a care for the still drying mess of his face, he takes refuge back in his favorite place. Tucked under your chin, he sighs.

“I’m sorry I was a dick earlier. Work sucked today. I didn’t get a contract I wanted, they picked some other kid at the studio for it. I’ve taught him for years and they picked him over me.”

“I’m sorry.” You placate him with a gentle hand up his back, nails tracing loose patterns as the fan hums over head.

“Not your fault.”

“No, but it still sucks.”

“Yeah.” He nuzzles closer, arms heavy around your waist like you’d even think to move away. “It’ll be fine though. He’s a good kid and I couldn’t be mad at him. But I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

Fifteen minutes later, you both wash away the flakes of clay, cracked around the corners of your eyes and mouths, and retreat back under the covers in one set of pajamas split between: you in one of his shirts with nothing underneath, and him in sweatpants with nothing on top. 

Soonyoung insists that Pirates of the Caribbean is his comfort movie, something about Kiera Knightly with a gun being his sexual awakening (which explains a lot), and you let him put it on the tiny screen of his laptop with plans to fall asleep in the first five minutes.

His lips are at your temple, a dull pressure that makes your blood hum. “I always wanted to be a pirate growing up.”

“Really?” you ask, edging towards unconsciousness from the lazy drag of his fingers on your hip.

“Yeah,” he agrees, eyes glued to the screen. “Have my own ship, no rules, a bunch of sexy wenches.”

“Half naked women with scurvy were a part of your career plan?”

“Okay, maybe I added those just now but my point stands.”

The picture of Soonyoung with a scar on his chest and one of those ruffled linen shirts straight off the cover of a dime novel some grandma would read on the train with no shame isn’t that bad. Actually, it’s pretty sexy. But you won’t feed his delusions.

“What point?”

He rolls on top of you, face open with grave seriousness. “We should role play. Me as the hot pirate captain, you as the beautiful princess. Forbidden love, enemies type stuff. You run away from being royal and end up joining my crew. Oh no, Captain Hoshi, I had no idea this was your room! What an impressive sword!” he squeals in a breathy mock of you.

“And then,” you gasp. “you come in five minutes and I convince everyone to throw you overboard?”

“Hurtful. But I’m willing to forgive you if you call me captain. Just once.”

He’s close enough to kiss, lips pouted as he waits for you to give into his demand. A gentle peck bordering on domestic makes him sigh, the taste of toothpaste lingering on his breath. Just as you think you’ve distracted him away from such an ridiculous idea, he leans back with a gleam in his eye that says he’ll wait all night if you make him.

“How about we roleplay falling asleep?” you sigh, eyes closed against his expectant gaze.

“Nope, too late. I’m thinking about you wearing nothing but a pirate hat and now I’m hard.”

He curls right into the meat of your thigh, hot and ready to go if you give the word. Sleep is tempting but the thought of a quick tumble wakes you up enough to entertain him. 

“Alright, but you’re doing all the work,” you sigh. “Take off my clothes, captain.”

Pausing to let the idea settle, he shakes his head. “That’s actually not as hot as I thought it would be.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you fuff. “I’m watching the movie.”

You try to shove him away with zero intent to actually let him go anywhere and end up pinned, fingers in a tight grip around your wrists that you pretend to fight against. Soonyoung knows you like to be reminded of his strength on occasion; whether thats fucking your mouth until your throat burns or bending you over. This potentially being one since he’s had a hard day and you’re hungover from making him feel better about it. 

He tongues across your pulse until you go pliant against the pillows, legs spread to cradle his hips. A shuffle of clothes and a lift of your hips and he’d be inside you. There's more steps; a condom, a little fingering because his dick was made to stretch your limits. Your legs shake already, desperate for quick fuck so you can passout while Soonyoung cleans you up. 

But his new mood means he’s making up for lost time. Presently, that's bunching your shirt up to your chin and tracing each inch of newly uncovered skin with his tongue.

“Hellooooo ladies,” he sighs, nose buried between your breasts.

“God, you’re lame.”

“Be nice to me, I had a hard day,” he pouts, releasing your hands in favor of plucking at your chest until you sigh in delight.

“I’m literally letting you—hmmm— see my boobs after you said that corny shit. How much nicer can I be?”

He doesn’t answer, choosing to coax a low groan out of your chest with passes of his mouth until you're kicking the sheets. The good kind of sting that ruts your hips against his thigh and makes you dizzy. There will be a permanent wet patch if he doesn’t give you relief soon.

“I have a few ideas.”

“Like what?” You twitch at the thoughts running rampant. Short of donning that pirate hat mentioned earlier, anything he suggests is guaranteed to make you feel better too. 

“Can show you better than I can tell you,” he bites into your nipple, sucking it to a stiff peak for his fingers to pinch before shifting focus to the other. 

“If you try and put your dick in my ass I’ll rip it off.” The words are breathy off your lips. No real threat because he might be able to talk you into the idea if you let him. If he keeps pulling your strings the way he’s learned how. 

But Soonyoung has different ideas, pulling off your nipple with a rough suck, curling your shoulders in. “That was one time and it was an accident!”

“Let me slip a finger in next time I blow you and tell me how you like it.”

“You have and I do. Keep talking about it and I’m gonna need another shower.”

“God, you’re a freak.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” He takes the initiative to roll you on top, palms massaging your ass while enjoying the view of you naked in his lap. 

A sudden moment of vulnerability roots in your chest, warmed by the set of brown eyes peering up at you. “You know I don’t just come here for this, right?” 

Soonyoung’s eyebrows twist for a moment and then soften. “I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

“It’s fine,” you cut him off, not ready for anything deeper. The air is already thicker with the weight of that confession, suffocating. In an effort not to drown in it, you drop your chest flat to his, latching onto the jut of his collarbone. “Is this your big idea? Me on top? Not very original.”

A hand at your ass drags you along his covered cock, already begging for attention. It’s not original but you’ll dry hump him into the mattress until your bones are jelly if he wants. 

“Sit on my face.”

It’s your turn to pull back. “What?”

“Sit. On. My. Face.” His hand is already firm against your thighs, forcing you halfway up his chest before you can argue.

“I heard you the first time, just confused how that's supposed to make you feel better.”

“You underestimate the power of your pussy. Now get up here.” 

The shuffle up is less than sexy. Soonyoung is eager from your permission, rushing you up to his mouth until you nearly knee him in the head.

“Wait,” you say. 

Soonyoung locks his arms as you move off him, reflexive because he lets go a second later. Turning, you eye the tent in his pants as you kneel back down. Perfect position to touch him while he touches you.

“Oh, fuck,” he grunts, fingers tracing through your wetness despite the horrible angle.

You don’t get a chance to orient yourself. He’s already quick to work with teasing passes of his tongue that turn bolder every second. 

“Jesus Christ, give me a second to get your dick out.”

But he doesn’t; too consumed with tasting all you have to offer, wringing you out to dry the second he gets a chance. The flat of his tongue laps up your arousal like it’s more vital than oxygen. There's a wet mess smeared between your thighs from the vigor. 

It takes all your focus to force down his pants, mouth watering at the shiny head of his cock straining from some heavy petting. You keep steady with one hand, jerking him off into your mouth with the other. Soonyoung malfunctions between your thighs as you swallow his cock, a moan right to your clit makes you fumble that last inch into your mouth.

He chokes you with a buck up but you take it in stride. Sucking harder, lashing against the slit until he whimpers. Normally, you’d exaggerate the wet noises at the back of your throat but with the crude dig of his tongue in your entrance there's no need. 

“God,” you warble into his crotch. You arch back into his face, Soonyoung’s fingers digging into the meat of your ass, spreading you out like a full course meal.

In theory it’s hot. Your cunt on his face and his cock in your throat, rutting against each other until you're numb and twitching and covered in each other's mess. In practicality, there is nothing Soonyoung is more relentlessly dedicated to than eating you out until your vision turns white and you have to force him away or risk passing out. It only takes a few minutes before you’re forced to tap out, panting into his thigh and weakly fisting his length with no regard for the mess sticking between your knuckles, as he fucks you along his tongue.

“Gonna come, oh–fuck,” you choke. You want him to come too, in your mouth, on your face if that's what he wants. But by some glitch in the universe, Soonyoung is able to hold back and you’re the one racing to the finish first. “Oh my god, Soonyoung, fuck.”

You jerk him off, grip tight despite the slick mess of spit and pre-cum. It doesn’t help that ever squeeze at the swollen head sends a moan straight into your clit, forcing you hips to rut desperately. 

“Don’t stop. Just, shit – need a little more—”

You pull one his hands away to take over your short strokes, spitting into his palm and squeezing until he figures out what you want; to watch him touch himself while eating you out. The contrast of his fingers tangled between your own, both glistening because Soonyoung is just as close as you are, gets you there.

“Close.” Thighs locked, you suffocate him but Soonyoung doesn’t complain. A palm at the base of your spine forces you down when you shy away from the edge. “Oh, oh, oh!”

A sting of your nails into his thigh is all the warning either of you get. Back arched tight, eyes clenched, you shudder through it. Soonyoung doesn’t stop, sucking away the fresh wave of arousal, tongue verging on punishing against your clit as you sink.

“Okay, that's enough—god,” your voice breaks. “Enough.”

You fall to the side, face first into the covers without effort to soften the blow. The lower half of your body is numb but you can feel his hand skating up the back of your calf.

“Good?” he asks, all too aware of the issue; the smirk is clear in his tone, happy to see you strung out from a few minutes on his mouth.

“Shut up,” you warn but the bite isn’t in it. The urge to kick him in the head is there but none of the energy. 

“Are you tapping out on me or…?” 

The sound of the drawer pauses in case you say no but the idea of not feeling him inside you sounds like the worst thing you’ve ever heard.

“You’re not that good,” you mumble into the blanket. “Fuck me like this, you promised you’d do all the work. Remember?”

“Like this?” he hums, rubbing the head of his cock back through the mess with admiration. 

He obeys with a wet kiss to your shoulder, parting your legs and sliding between without a word. You soak in the stretch, ass arched into his hips to take it all. The cold bites down your back when Soonyoung leans back to watch.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he whines. “Shit.” 

He drives into you with a bruising pace, betrayed by his own need to come after having you on his mouth without a tease of relief. You arch into it, the head of his cock dragging deep inside pushing disgusting noises from your lips you pray his roommates aren’t around to hear.

“Spank me.”

He loses it for a second. A rough thrust pushing you down the bed and he scrambles to follow. “Seriously?” 

“Do it,” you bark. 

The first strike is weak. More of a firm caress than the sting you crave; hesitant to push for too much too fast lest you take away any privilege he has.

“Harder.”

The next impact comes hard enough to burn an outline of his hand. And another one that makes your tongue feel too big for your own mouth.

“Oh, fuck, yeah,” you whine. “More.”

Arms pinned beneath your torso, all you can do is lay there and take it. Nerves gone, he spanks you like it’s second nature. Like he’s thought about it before.

“Good?” he asks. Sounds more like a beg for validation. That he’s the one driving you crazy, molding your insides to his cock until it’s all you can think about.

“So good, f–fuck me so good.”

“Yeah?” he breathes against your neck, a hand wedging beneath your hips to drag against your clit in messy strokes. “You’re so hot, fuck.”

There will be a bruise to hide come morning but you can’t care. The slap of his hips against your ass, the flame of his hand still lingering on your ass, his cock drilling your insides; there's no room for anything but Soonyoung, Soonyoung, Soonyoung.

You arch your back to feel him deeper only to have him pull out completely on the next stroke.

“No!” you protest, racing to keep him inside. 

It’s no use, Soonyoung flips you on your back before you can convince him otherwise. He hooks your knees over his elbows, spreading you wide and driving home in one smooth push with his teeth at your neck.

“Gonna come,” he begs, voice weak. You know his game, what makes him tick and come so hard he goes blind.

“Not yet,” you warn. A rough twist in his hair only works against his thinning resolve and that's exactly why you pull harder until his hips kick into a jilted rhythm.

“I can’t – please – I can’t—”

“Not yet,” you gasp. He’s deep, right in the back of your throat making you foggy. “Be a g–good boy and wait until I tell you.”

Hips frantic, voice cracking, he tries to hold off; knows it's better when you tell him exactly what to do. Makes him choke into your chest.“Fuck, fuck!” 

“Tell me how bad you want it. How much you love this pussy.”

“Love it, love your pussy.” He folds in half on top of you, desperate. Every drive of his cock into your center forcing your own desperate noises out. “Please let me come for you.”

“Look at me,” you demand. The command in your voice is paper thin but you're both too lost. His eyes are glassy, frantic to do whatever you ask if it means he can come. “Beg for it.”

“P–please,” he whimpers through gritted teeth. “Please let me come. Need it, wanna come. Please. Please!”

He’s too good to edge. Perfectly pliant to any demand and it makes you want to give him whatever he wants. “Give it to me. Fuck me through it. Let me feel you come for me.”

He latches onto your breast, sucking your nipple as his hips turn sloppy. The squeak of mattress springs are a sound track to his end. You won’t come again but you don’t need to. Satiated with the choked whimpers of your name as he swells against your walls, forcing himself as deep as possible like he’s fucking you raw and full of his cum.

Maybe someday you’ll let him.

Your hips are sore from being forced in half so long but you won’t move away until Soonyoung comes back down. Less from your own will power, more because you’re running on fumes and might fall asleep with him still inside you. He gives a few more pathetic twitches and then goes slack.

“Oh my god,” he groans. “I can’t feel my legs.”

“Welcome to the club,” 

With the grand finale complete, your aching muscles give out completely. You can’t even laugh when one of his hands moves to check your pulse.

“Oh my god,” Soonyoung gasps. “I killed you with my dick.”

“You didn’t kill me.” You slap away his hand weakly. Without distraction, the stickiness of your skin from sweat in the worst places settles in but it’s a problem for later.

“A man can dream,” he says wistfully.

“Of homicide by cock?”

“Of dick game strong enough to murder someone.”

He rubs his nose along yours, breathes mingling in a lazy kiss as exhaustion creeps over your both. 

“Your face smells like pussy.” You slouch into the mattress, deadweight while taking all of his like the perfect blanket.

He kisses you again, tongue teasing at your lips until you give the very real threat of teeth against it and he backs away. “Your mouth tastes like cock so I guess we’re even. C'mon we need to shower again.”

“Nooooooo,” you grumble, clinging to him in an effort to delay the chill waiting to invade between you.

“At least let me get a rag.”

Your legs tighten around his waist, locked at the ankle for dramatic effect. “If you pull out I’ll cry.”

“Words every man wants to hear,” he hums into your cheek with a kiss. “But my dick is sore and we both need to sleep.”

“Fine.”

When he pulls away you feel empty; devastatingly so. But you don’t ask him to comeback. Just pout at the loss and revel in placating pampering you receive in return.

He goes through the steps with familiarity. Wiping away the mess between your legs, tossing your shirt back up from the floor but you forgo it, choosing to sleep naked much to Soonyoung’s delight.

You use his chest as a pillow, curled into his side and tucked under his chin. The steady beat of his heart lulls you off. The last thing you register, on the hazy perimeter at the edge of sleep, is his fingers at your cheek and the ghost of a kiss on your forehead.

Taglist: @tomodachiii @cvpidyunho @miniseokminnies @ddaengpotate @arycutie

@gaebestie @primoppang @gyuguys @mine-gyu @doremifasire

@missminhoe @toplinehyunjin @crvs4vldtn @prettygyuuu @sliceofwoozi @writingbarnes

@dokyeomkyeom @christinewithluv @minwonfairy @idkjustlovingbts @wobblewobble822 @futuristicenemychaos

@seungkw1 @horanghaezone @jespecially @gyuwoosbabie @dinossaurz

@wonustars

© highvern. copying/reuploading/translating my work anywhere is strictly prohibited.

[glossysoap]

glossy. this isn’t a request but lord jesus i need to share this thought with someone.

rudy.. just rudy being a very sweet person when around his family and friends, but with you? alone? oh god he’s so rough, he grips your ass and thighs. leaving marks there and slapping every inch of your body. especially your thighs and ass. grips your cheeks together to smoosh your cheeks together and make your lips pout out.

he chuckles at you, so evilly :(( just gripping your hips with so much force, your head forced into the pillow as he plows into you from behind, the bed creaking because this man thrusts in you. then he grabs at your throat, pulling you back and making your back arch for him, your hands try to reach the sheet but at the angle your at you cannot reach them. you can hear slow murmurs of: “Sí mamá, esa mierda se siente bien ¿eh?” (yeah mama, that shit feels good huh?) to “deja que te folle, mama. vas a recibir mi semen muy dentro de ti.” (let me breed you, mama. your going to take my cum deep inside you.)

and JESUS.. his arms? his muscles, he looks so good. sweating while his pelvis and abs tense and flex, scars adoring his skin and fuckkkk- you might cum on the spot because of how good he’s fucking you. he pushes you back down on the bed, flipping you over so he can watch your pussy take his thick dick. he and you both look down as he begins to thrust, a creamy ring beginning to form at his base. you moan and he groans. “look at tha’ mama. she loves my dick. sucking me right back in.” and when he begins to thrust in a little bit you cum so hard you squirt.

anyways, that’s my thought on rudy. i’m not sure why this popped into my head but it did. <3

(ps, my ovaries are wilding right now. so just ignore this if it isn’t your thing.)

FANGS your brain just keeps making banger after banger after banger.

(also im so so sorry for this taking long. you know what kind of dumpster fire these past few months have been. these are just some thoughts, not a full blown fic. this is also the very first time i’ve ever written for rudy so 🤞)

18+, afab and fem reader, fingering under table (so if you consider that dubcon then that's dubcon i guess?), breeding kink, choking, dirty talk, squirting, daddy kink (papi kink technically)

The way he’d be the sweetest to your family, especially your parents but fucking you to tears in private? Chefs kiss.

The scene that immediately comes to my mind is when your mom invites the two of you over for sunday dinner with your famly.

The weather was great, a little breezy — not too hot, not too cold. So you opted to wear a cute little sundress for dinner. It was a fresh shade of teal, ending just above your knee and flowing perfectly in the wind as the two of you walked arm-in-arm up to the door.

He was a perfect gentleman, like always. Holding the door open for you, pulling your chair out for you. Squeezing your hand while the table says grace, if your family does it.

The dinner takes place like normal, the different conversations flooding the dining room while some ate and some passed food around to spoon onto their plates.

“How’s your work going, hun?” Your mom would ask over her plate of food, with a fork in hand. You forced a smile as you felt your cheeks warm. Though Rudy looked perfectly normal to everyone else, eating his own plate of food next to you, they had no idea what he was really up to.

If anyone in your family had taken a look under the table they would see what his other hand was busy doing, which was gripping your bare leg. Starting at your knee and inching up your thigh, leaving a trail of electricity along your sensitive skin. Slipping underneath your dress to rest inside your inner thigh.

"Oh, sorry, w-what was your question?" You stumbled on your words with a sheepish laugh, still looking at your mom and trying to listen to her. It proved to be more difficult than you thought when Rudy picked up the pace. The rough pads of his fingers had begun inching closer and closer to the hem of your panties when your mom called your name again.

Your breath hitched, both from Rodolfo's dangerous teasing and from your mom pressing you for an answer at (what she didn't know) was the worst moment possible. You shook your head a bit in hopes of yanking yourself out of your lust-filled mind.

Under the table, you swatted at his hand that was planted on your inner thigh. His lips twitched as he fought back a smirk, his usually warm deep eyes all filled with hunger and want.

“I said, how is work?” Your mom pressed, taking a small bite of her food while she waited for you to answer. You could feel the attention of everyone else at the table waiting for you to answer. Rudy, the smug asshole, hummed expectantly. As if his fingers weren't now sliding under the flimsy fabric of your panties. As if the rough pads of his finger tips weren't caressing the sensitive skin of your folds.

"It's going good! Yeah, it's going good." You choke out as he traced a single finger along your soaked slit.

"Awe, well that's nice! I'm glad," She took another bite and began striking up a conversation with someone else sitting next to her. You couldn't tell who, nor did you really care. Not when Rudy had began easing two fingers into your dripping heat.

You barely conceal a gasp as he begins moving his fingers inside you, teasing your warm walls with delicate rubbing and stroking.

From that moment on in the dining room, everything around you is tuned out. Your families voices are muffled and the scrapes of silverware against plates are just a small clink in the background.

"W-what the fuck are you thinking?" You whispered to him, attempting to speak with venom but the warmth in your stomach was just too strong that it overpowered any intimidation you'd hoped to have. And he could tell, leaning over so his mouth was next to your ear.

"I'm thinking," He whispered against your ear, his fingers scissoring inside you. "That I need to get my hands on you and that perfect pussy, cariño... and I need it now."

… Which is how you ended up here.

All but whisked away to your childhood room, food long forgotten, as he locks the door behind you and paws at your sundress. His calloused hands tug on the straps and pulls them down so they hung off your shoulders, revealing your tits.

He wasted no time in pawing at your breasts, grabbing handfuls into his calloused hands and groping to his hearts content. He backed you up against your bedroom door, brown eyes peering down at you with what could only be described as pure unadulterated hunger.

“There they are,” He crooned, voice deep and husky, sending chills down your spine as he takes one of your nipples in his mouth. His tongue flicked at it as his mouth was wrapped around your nipple, lapping at the sensitive skin. He’s all tugging and teasing, suckling your bud with a hum, before letting go with a pop.

Your breath hitches and he smiles against your nipple at that small gasp.

“Been seeing these all day long, wanted to grab them so many times.” He remembers seeing them sit so pretty in your sundress, wanting to grope them and nudge his cock between them.

"R-Rodolfo, please!" You plead, your hand coming up to card your fingers through his hair, holding his mouth to your tit. Your cunt still throbbed, all from his teasing throughout the dinner.

"Oh, I know, querida," He murmured against your breast, "You're all needy, hm? So pathetic." Your cunt throbs even more at his degrading words. You nod over and over, whines spilling from your lips.

He laughs.

"All wet n' dripping for me? For papí?" The last word made your breath hitch.

"Yeah, yeah! Please, please, I need you, papí!"

(...)

Before you knew it, he had you bare on your childhood bed. Skin slapping against skin, wet sounds filling your room. Your moans and whines mixed with his grunts and groans. He was still fully clad in his suit, only his cock fished out of his pants.

Your legs were folded up as far as they would comfortably go, hiked over his shoulders. His chest was damn near flush against yours, just as his forehead was pressed against yours. His cock filled you up perfectly with every thrust, his tip nudging your g-spot every time he thrusted in.

"So- so fucking tight! So perfect, my preciosa." He grunts out, feeling you clench around him.

His face was crowding you, not letting you look away as he splits you open on his cock. One hand is gripping your throat and keeping your gaze on him - slightly squeezing to restrict your air flow just enough to have your head all fuzzy.

"Fuck, fuck! P-papí," You choked out a moan. He chuckled at the blissed out look in your eyes, your pupils all lust blown and your eyes all glassy. Your lips were all slick with spit and drool, sore from being kissed and bitten.

"Go on, let it out. Don't you dare hold back, cariño." He damn near demanded, readjusting his position and propping himself up on the balls of his feet to be able to thrust into you even sharper. He smirked as he watched your mouth hang open in a wail and he bottomed out.

"Good girl, good girl," He leaned into your ear to purr. He felt you clenching around him as he whispered into your ear, never slowing in his thrusts.

The coil in your stomach tightens as you feel yourself growing close to the edge, his previous fingering already building up your pleasure. Your brain's all muddled and fuzzy and your cunt's gripping him so tight, clit throbbing and swollen.

He could feel it, too. you were practically milking his cock, begging for his seed to fill you up and claim you as his own.

"Fuck, you're taking me for all I'm worth, amor." His mouth moved down to your neck, licking a stripe along the span and ending up under your ear where he left a bite.

"Gonna fill you up, gonna make you mine. You'd like that, wouldn't you? You'd like me breeding that cunt, taking her for myself?" He growls in your ear, mouth moving to start biting your neck again.

He hisses in your ear when you pulse and flutter around his cock at his words. He feels his own orgasm approaching from how tight you were hugging him. It only moved him even closer with how pretty you were whining and whimpering for him.

"Fuck yeah, please!" You cry out, clutching at his shoulders desperately, trying to find purchase through all the pleasure. "Breed me, breed me, breed--," He laughs as you babble mindlessly, begging for him to fill your cunt with his spend.

He ruts into you endlessly, feeling his tip nudge the plug of your cervix. He uses his free hand to reach between your bodies and find your swollen clit, just begging for his attention.

When his rough finger pads start toying with your throbbing clit, he hears you wail and clench around him so deliciously. You gush around him with a cry, squirting with a damn near shout. When you cream on his cock, you push him over the edge too.

"Fuck!" He damn near howls, warmth flooding your core as he fills you up nice and proper, determined to make it take. He punctuates his orgasm by sinking his teeth in the crook of your neck.

©️ glossysoap 2024. please do not steal, copy, plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my works without my permission

[megalony]

Falling For Me

This is an Evan Buckley imagine, requested by Anon. I enjoyed writing this one, I hope you all like it. Feedback and requests are always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@noonenuts@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @topguncultleader @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989

911 Masterlist

Summary: When the team are called out to a mugging scene, they get more than they bargained for when they find (Y/n). Eddie's little sister. Evan's crush.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Is that your girl?"

Evan lifted his eyes from his phone and looked across at Hen who was wiggling her brows and curving her lips into a wide grin. She pursed her lips and tilted her head, pretending to blow kisses his way until Evan was smothering a smile and shaking his head. He looked down at his phone and quickly shoved it back in his pocket before any of them could lean over and see who he was messaging.

"Nope."

"Hm,"

"You holding out on us, Buck?" Eddie nudged Evan's shoulder as the truck started moving and they all got comfy in their seats.

"No, no one special in my life." He was speaking the truth. Mostly. Evan wasn't in a relationship, but that didn't mean he didn't have his eye on someone he thought of as special.

He just so happened to know Eddie's little sister rather well and he thought she was amazing. But she was Eddie's sister and that meant Evan had to tread very carefully. He couldn't try anything or push the bouondaries and ruin the friendship he had with both (Y/n) and Eddie if she didn't see him in that way.

And she hadn't technically messaged him right now either. He had sent her a message earlier but hadn't heard anything back. He just wanted to check his phone since their third call out of the day was now finished, but she hadn't gotten back to him yet.

"Yeah, sure so you-" Chimney cut himself off and looked around the truck as if a sign from God had just dawned upon them when a call came through the radio from dispatch.

"Dispatch to one-eighteen. We have a scene on the corner of Park Street, attempted mugging with two casualties. Please respond."

"One-eighteen, on our way."

A chorus of groans flooded the air of the truck as everyone grabbed their headsets and put them on as the siren started to blast out again. It looked like they were no longer heading back to the station to have dinner, they would be going on another call out. Evan's shift was now extending, he was planning to have lunch with the team and go home for a long power nap. Guess not anymore.

"Do you think we'll get to make an arrest?" Evan looked out the window as the truck made a sharp right turn and sent them all squishing into each other like sardines in a tin.

They had gone to a scene before when Hen was acting Captain and she got to make an arrest while they waited for the police to turn up and apprehend the man. If this was a mugging scene and the mugger was still there, maybe they would get to arrest him as well as patch him up and wait for assistance.

"I think the police will be on their way, Buck." Bobby leaned behind him to pat Evan's shoulder.

If they were being redirected it was because they were the closest scene and they would be able to provide medical assistance quicker than sending an ambulance out. And dispatch would have to notify the police about an attack so chances were a police car would be on their way to the scene as well.

"Eddie, Hen, get a med bag each. Let's see what we've got."

Everyone climbed down from the truck and went to grab their gear and Evan followed after Bobby, trailing away from the truck to see what was going on. They could hear shouting from the moment they climbed down from the truck and there seemed to be a gathering of people hanging around.

"LAFD, make room. Can someone tell me what's happened here?" Bobby rose his voice to the crowd of five or six people gathering in a huddle near an alley. He glanced his eyes around everyone to try and see what had happened, he couldn't work out where the casualties were and dispatch said two people had been injured and needed help.

"That bitch stabbed me-"

"He attacked that girl and she stopped him getting away."

A sigh passed through Bobby's lips as he planted his hands on his hips and looked at the man who was laid on the floor. He was cradling his left thigh where a puddle of blood was trailing down his leg and dripping onto the pavement beneath him. He had a frantic look in his eyes, black gloves on his hands matching his hoodie and jeans and he had a cloth around his neck that Bobby guessed someone had pulled down to see his face.

Bobby made his way to kneel beside the attacker and silently pointed at Evan to go see where the other casualty was.

Evan had his words all formed in his head. 'Miss, it's the LAFD. Can I check you over? Are you hurt?' But he didn't get to say any of them when he moved towards the alley and caught sight of the girl in question. She was curled up on the floor, leaning against the wall at the very edge of the alley. Her body was slumped to the left, knees curled awkwardly beneath her and her arms were coiled tightly to her chest as she slowly rocked herself back and forth.

Tears drenched her face and sobs and bubbling gasps broke free from her trembling lips. But when Evan caught sight of her face, his blood ran cold and he couldn't breathe.

Oh God no.

"(Y/n)? (Y/n) it's me, it's Evan." He dropped down to his knees in front of her and held his hands out in front of him to show her he wasn't going to hurt her. He was safe. He wanted to help. "Can I-"

"Evan!" His name croaked past her lips like he was some sort of miracle or epiphany that (Y/n) had wished for.

Her trembling body pushed forward onto her knees and she thrust herself into Evan's chest before he could ask if he could help her. His arms froze in mid-air before he snapped himself back into action and slowly coiled his large frame around her like a safety blanket.

He gently smoothed his hand up and down her back, tensing when he felt her hands slip beneath his florescent jacket and her nails scratched into his shirt like sharp metal nails. Someone had tried to attack her. Someone had hurt her, here, in broad daylight. Someone had attacked Eddie's little sister, the girl Evan was sweet on.

"Buck, what we got?" Eddie slung the medic bag on his shoulder and trudged over to Evan while Chimney and Hen went to sort out the man Bobby was trying to calm down. He could hear the man shouting and cursing from over here and it made Eddie cringe. It didn't take much to guess that the man was the mugger. Sometimes Eddie didn't like the fact that they also had to look after the people comitting crimes as well as the victims.

He dropped the bag to the floor but when he knelt down beside Evan, Eddie's blood ran cold and he tensed. His jaw locked in place and his chocolate brown eyes glazed over like black holes when he looked at the girl curled up in Evan's arms.

"(Y/n)," Her name fell from his lips in a quiet whisper and he realised he was shaking. His hands were gripping the medic bag, curled around the leather until he was leaving markings in the bag. And Eddie could feel Evan nervously fidgeting beside him, unsure how anyone was going to react.

"Eddie!" (Y/n) could barely see her brother due to the tears streaming down her face and she hiccupped through her breaths.

Her arms uncurled from Evan and she started to sob harder when Eddie almost ripped her out of Evan's arms and into his own embrace.

"No, no what's happened? What the fuck did he do to you?!" Eddie brushed his hand along the back of her neck but when he leaned down to kiss the top of her head, he pulled back quickly. (Y/n) cried out into his chest, flinching down and croaking when he touched the top of her head.

His hands moved to gently cup her face and he tilted her head down so he could assess the top of her head.

Blood was smeared into her hair and trickling down the side of her face near her ear. But what made Eddie frown and caused Evan to lean over for a better look was the tiny shards of green glass they could see meshed in with her curls.

"(Y/n), what happened?" Eddie smoothed his thumb across her tear-stained cheek while his eyes raked over her for any further injuries.

When Eddie gently let her go so he could rummage around in the medic bag, (Y/n) turned to look at Evan in surprise when he shrugged off his florescent jacket and draped it around her shoulders. The action made her chest ignite for different reasons and calmed down her raging, hiccupping breaths.

Without thinking, (Y/n) leaned to the side and tucked herself back into Evan's chest as if that was where she belonged and he didn't object. He swooped his right arm around her waist while his left hand ran up and down her trembling arm to try and keep her calm.

"He… he grabbed me from behind and d-dragged me in the alley. When I wouldn't give him my bag he pushed me down… I- I did what you said,"

Her words caused Eddie to pause and look up at her in panic. What had he told her do to? What advice did he give her as a big brother? Eddie had told all three of his sisters a lot of advice over the years. He was the eldest out of them all and when their dad worked away, Eddie had to help look after them. (Y/n) was the youngest out of them all and Eddie was the closest to her which was why she had moved down to LA with him and Chris.

He had tried to give her a lot of self defense advice and teach her what to do and what not to do in certain situations.

"I had my keys on me so… so I stabbed him, I didn't want him getting away,"

"Bobby, the weapon used on him," Evan gently took (Y/n)'s keychain from her and held it out to Bobby who was stood in the middle, observing the scene as a police car rolled up. The captain nodded and placed the keys in a plastic bag.

(Y/n) remembered Eddie telling her she could use anything as a weapon if she needed to protect herself and keys were a great weapon. They were small to hide in the palm of her hand and they were metal and had jagged edges, perfect to cause a little damage and harm someone enough to make them stop.

She needed the man to get off her and he was thrashing around pinning her down, she didn't know what else to do. (Y/n) found her keys from her pocket and thrust her house key into the man's left thigh. She didn't know where her power came from and she almost threw up when she watched and felt the metal cut through his flesh.

But it stopped him from getting away. She wasn't letting him leave after attacking her.

"What did he do to your head, sweetheart?" The pet name fell past Evan's lips before he could stop himself but he was glad Eddie didn't seem to notice.

"He was screaming at me, before I could move he grabbed a bottle and h-hit me, I-" She broke off, another round of trembling tore through her body as she started to cry.

"He smashed a bottle over your head?!" Eddie tilted his head to look over at the man currently getting an IV in his arm and his trouser leg cut so they could see the extent of his leg wound. "Wait 'til he meets me, I'll shove it up his-" He broke off when he felt Evan jerk his shoulder. (Y/n) was starting to hyperventilate and Eddie going into protective mode wasn't going to help if he was going to start a fight.

"Shh, hey it's alright. You did great," Evan gently unravelled his arm from around her waist and his smile faltered when (Y/n) desperately grabbed at his arm as if she thought he was about to leave. "I'm gonna give you an IV, get rid of the shock."

Evan thought for a moment as he held (Y/n)'s hand that was digging so tightly into his exposed arm that she was starting to draw blood. She was clearly in a big state of shock if she was afraid letting go of him was going to somehow get her hurt.

"Here, hold tight." He gently prized her fingers from his arm and moved her hand to his thigh as he shuffled closer until their knees were touching. She could squeeze, scratch and grip his leg as much as she wanted and he didn't care if she punctured through his trousers into his flesh. As long as she stayed calm.

He looked through the bag and found an IV bag and a needle and he swabbed the crease of (Y/n)'s elbow before gently pushing the needle into her vein. She was in so much shock she barely flinched at the feeling.

Eddie's chest rose and fell rapidly as he tried to stay calm but he couldn't. Someone had chosen to make his sister a victim, tried to hurt her and then whacked her over the head with a bottle that had smashed and cut through her skin. She was lucky she didn't have any mass bleeding and that the glass hadn't reached her skull. He could have given her swelling or cranial damage.

He slid a blood pressure cuff up (Y/n)'s left arm and checked her BP which was rather elevated but her pulse was good.

"Eddie, how is she?" Bobby moved to stand near the, unsure what was happening over here when both members of his team seemed to know this victim. And he didn't like the dark look in Eddie's eyes when he turned to face him.

"That cunt smashed a bottle over my sister's head."

"Ah. This is (Y/n). Can we get her transported? Athena's going to take him down to the hospital in custody before he goes to the station."

"I want to take some of the glass from her head first before we transport. Are you hurt anywhere else?" Eddie wasn't moving her until he had removed as much glass from her wound as he could so there was less for the doctors to do once they took her to hospital.

Whimpering, (Y/n) leaned forward and silently indicated to her back. Her fingers dug into Evan's thigh and her head pressed onto Eddie's shoulder while Evan moved closer. He hummed quietly and moved his jacket back so he could gently lift (Y/n)'s shirt and look to see where she had been hurt.

"Skin's flush and warm, might have a bit of internal bleeding. Let's get the glass out and move her." Evan traced his fingertips over (Y/n)'s left hip, near to where her kidney would be. Her skin was discoloured and very warm, she could have internal bleeding but it didn't look too worrying. She could have a scan once they got to the hospital.

"Okay, this might hurt, try and stay still for me."

Evan's brows rose in surprise when (Y/n)'s hand let go of his thigh so she could clutch onto his hand instead. She reeled his hand into her chest and leaned against his bicep while her head tilted forward so Eddie could look at her head.

Every time her body shuddered and jolted, Evan squeezed her hand and rested his other hand on her knee to try and keep her calm. His lips curled in distaste when Eddie slowly started to pluck shards of glass from her hair with a pair of tweezers. He heard Eddie whisper 'don't move' but as soon as he relieved a large shard, blood trickled down (Y/n)'s forehead and she gurgled through a scream. Her body tremored against Evan and she jolted when Eddie poured a little saline over the wound to clean it and see if there were any more pieces he could remove.

They both counted ten various sized shards of glass that Eddie placed onto a cloth on his knee.

"Let's get you to hospital," Eddie dropped a little more saline onto the three various cuts on his sister's temple before he pressed a patch of gauze over them to try and stop the blood loss and hopefully soak up any smaller shards he hadn't managed to get.

"Up we go,"

The pair held one of (Y/n)'s arms each and slowly eased her up between them, gripping her hands tightly as she started to tremble again.

Adrenaline coursed through (Y/n)'s veins and she could feel her stomach churning and jolting when she was upright. Her feet could barely pick up from the floor, she dragged her feet, scraping them against the pavement as he knees bent and she let the boys guide her towards the truck. Practically dragging her between them.

(Y/n) groaned and suddenly doubled over, snapping her eyes closed as she leaned forward and threw up onto the floor. She felt like she needed to be sick again and get rid of whatever was still in her stomach but all she could do was cough and gasp for each breath as another round of tears started to fall.

Leaning down, Eddie looped his sister's arm around the back of his neck and gripped her waist tightly with his left arm so he could take her weight for her. He let Chimney and Hen climb into the truck first as the mugger was patched up and already in Athena's squad car.

Buck clambered up next and turned round to reach down for (Y/n). He gently but firmly gripped her forearms and hoisted her up the steps as Eddie held her waist and eased her up between them.

"Alright… let's put these on so you don't go deaf, hm?"

A small smile tugged at (Y/n)'s lips when Evan eased her down into a chair and crouched between her thighs like he belonged there. He strapped her in and grabbed a headset, trying to get them over her ears without touching the top of her head. He slipped the band over the back of her head so it was nowhere near the cuts in the centre of her head and squished himself into the seat between (Y/n) and the window as Eddie sat on her left.

They didn't have the ambulance with them on this call out so it was a relief (Y/n) didn't have any nerve damage and that she could walk so they didn't have to radio for an extra ambulance. They could just take her to the hospital in the truck.

"Is this your sister?" Hen looked between (Y/n) and Eddie, already noticing the resemblance and the way Eddie gripped her thigh showed he cared deeply for her. But he couldn't find it in himself to smile when he nodded silently to her question. He didn't want them all to meet like this.

"Chris… I- I have to pick him up," (Y/n) slumped her head back onto Evan's shoulder so she could look up at Eddie.

She was supposed to collect Chris from school since Eddie was on shift today. She couldn't wait around in the emergency room to get checked out when she had to pick her nephew up. There wasn't enough time to find someone else to go and get him.

"I'll get him, don't think I'm leaving you alone like this."

"I could, you know, I could go get him. My shift's technically over, I can take (Y/n) home and get Chris later, you're still on shift." Evan ran his hands up and down his thighs as he looked between (Y/n) and Eddie, smiling at her head resting comfortably on his shoulder.

He was done now, his shift ended after their last call. Instead of Eddie having to cancel his shift and both of them leaving the team short, Evan could look after them both for him. He would stay at the hospital with (Y/n) and take her home and collect Chris later. He loved spending time with both of them and (Y/n) shouldn't be alone right now.

"Are you sure? Is that alright?" Eddie looked from Evan down to his sister because he would stay with her if she asked him to. But her lips curved into a smile and she leaned further into Evan, nudging her nose against his neck while she closed her eyes.

She wanted to go to sleep. She didn't mind who stayed with her as long as she wasn't left alone at the hospital.

"We'll drop you both off here then Buck. Call when you need a lift back," Bobby turned to look in the back of the truck, nodding at them both. This was where they would part ways, at the paramedic entrance to the hospital. They could easily come and pick them up when they were ready since Evan was still in his uniform and his jeep was back at the station.

"Will do."

Eddie kissed his sister's temple, muttering a quiet 'love you' into her skin as his palm pressed into her lower back to help her get up.

Evan jumped down from the truck, leaving his helmet in the back along with his gloves while his jacket was still wrapped around (Y/n). He held his hands up towards her with a dopey grin that made (Y/n) really want to smile, if it weren't for the lightheaded feeling that overtook her.

She could barely feel her feet that skidded against the steps causing the team to gasp as Eddie bolted forward and Hen reached out to grab her arm. But they didn't have to worry when Evan jumped forward and grabbed her before she fell down.

An arm secured around her waist with his palm splayed out on her back and his other arm looped around her thighs just beneath her bum. Evan cocked a grin as he pulled back with (Y/n) in his arms.

"I gotcha." Evan lowered her down a little in his arms but kept hold of her and kept her feet from the floor. Walking in was going to prove long and stressful whereas Evan could just carry her inside to make things easier. "Let's go, sweetheart." He stepped back onto the curb, nodding at the team that he had her safe and sound and he bit back a smile when he felt (Y/n)'s arms loop around his neck and her face tucked into the crook of his neck.

"Thank you,"

***

(Y/n) smiled gratefully at the nurse and took the small white bag of antibiotics from her which she stuffed into her bag.

Two hours. It had taken two hours to get all the glass removed from her head, have one of the cuts glued shut from how deep it was, take a dose of morphine. And then go up for a scan to make sure she had no internal bleeding.

(Y/n) was ready to go home and she was thankful it had timed perfectly for her and Evan to go and collect Chris. Evan didn't have to leave her alone at the hospital to get Chris and then come back for her. He had stayed by her side like a bodyguard. Arms crossed over his chest and a stoic, protective look on his face.

He let (Y/n) dig her nails into his arm that she had already scratched earlier and he had kissed her temple when all the glass was removed.

"You're free to go."

"Thank you," (Y/n) nodded briefly at the nurse before she rummaged around in her bag. "Bobby still has my keys." Evan had given them to Bobby to show what she had attacked her assailant with. The keychain held her house keys and Eddie's keys for when she collected Chris while he was at work.

"I'll get them for you when we get back to the station, hopefully they will be cleaned up." It wouldn't be great to have her keys still caked in blood. Evan doubted that Athena would take the keys into evidence or take them to the hospital. The mugger had been patched up by the team, he only went to the hospital for any shots he might need and pain relief along with an all clear.

"I didn't wanna hurt him, I- I just-"

"Hey, he attacked you. He could have given you a bleed on the brain, you had every right to stab the bastard. Does it still hurt?"

Evan looked down at her head which looked pretty nasty from his height advantage point. She had a cut down the middle of her head that broke through her hairline into her forehead but it was more superficial than painful. The one that had been glued was now swelling up and would be bruised and tender in a few hours. (Y/n) wouldn't be able to wash her hair or touch her head for a week and she would be living with constant headaches for a while.

"A little, I feel… woozy." (Y/n) managed a smile as she gripped the edge of the bed she was sat on and pushed up to her feet.

The morphine took away most of the pain and sickness but now she felt drugged, wobbly and like her head weighed more than the rest of her body.

Her lips parted in a gasp when her feet bent awkwardly beneath her and her knees pushed forward into Evan's thighs. His hands reached out to grab her waist and he reeled her into his chest with ease, tilting his chin down so he could look at her through the height difference.

A smile wormed onto his face and his eyes creased at the corners as he smiled down at her with that dopey yet cocky grin that made (Y/n)'s stomach flutter.

"You keep falling for me today, huh?" His thumbs brushed up and down her exposed hips and his head tilted to the side as he stared at her wishfully.

"Seems so,"

(Y/n) kept her eyes level with his chest while she slowly dragged her fingertips up his biceps and along his shoulders until her thumbs could brush against his neck. She finally dared to lift her head up enough to meet his gaze that was piercing through her like there was a question burning in his mind that he was desperate to know the answer to.

"I guess I'd better get used to catching you then,"

The feeling of Evan's lips on hers made (Y/n) shiver and when she pushed up on her toes and swiped her thumb across his jaw, she felt his hands tighten around her hips. He pulled her chest flush against his and leaned down to catch her at a better angle.

His teeth bit her lower lip while his hand trailed up her side, gliding his fingertips across her skin to make her flush and squirm against him. He cupped her chin between his finger and thumb, nuzzling his nose into hers when they parted. (Y/n) could feel each breath he gasped against her lips and the moment she looked up into those ocean blue eyes, she felt her knees giving way.

If this was falling, (Y/n) never wanted to land.

[mikkaeus]

house md hilson fic rec - medium to long fics (10k+)

Other house rec lists: short fics | episode tags | postcanon | infidelity trope (all of these are mutually exclusive apart from the infidelity one) // Edit: I added the longer postcanon fics to this reclist as well because this one got the most traction!

These are all House/Wilson unless otherwise stated. Before we get into the fics, here are some of my fave authors that have written several house fics.

fourteencandles: im literally in love with them . 10/10 writing no notes. also long fics?? hello???

ictus: this author has the range! from emotional to fluff to funny. very smooth writing. all of their fics have different vibes which was fun to read. they’re all very good. 

Transformatron: fics that are transcendent and porny, all featuring a d/s undertone or theme (wilson as the dom)

Namaste (livejournal / ff.net): Some short fics, some much longer ones. Mostly gen focussing on H&W friendship, with some fics on canon pairings. Interesting character studies and discerning prose.

In order of length. *faves, ***underrated faves

*Brain Damage by fourteencandles (8k) (Ok I know this isn’t over 10k but I wanted all of their fics on one post and it’s close enough so.) This was brilliant. Like a real episode of House, with Wilson as the unfortunate patient-of-the-week, with bonus House/Wilson. Characterisation was bang on, and the plot was original and engaging and had a satisfying conclusion. Love to see House taking care of Wilson.

Down to the Water + Bound for Home by blackmare (~10k) Aftermath of season 4. House and Wilson go on a road trip. Quiet and sad and fragile, with excellent writing. This fic appears to have been fairly well known in lj days but I don't think a lot of newer people know about it.

*A Smaller World by fourteencandles (10k) The thing between them works, if Wilson doesn't push for more. God I’m so soft. I have so many feelings!!! In love with this established relationship hilson, still a little precarious, but with Wilson adapting, and House willing to put in effort.

*What's Past by fourteencandles (10k) The guy who used to have Wilson's job comes back for a visit, and it turns out they have more in common than Wilson ever knew.

*Touch Therapy by nomad (10k) It's not that House needs the human contact. It's just that when you're sharing an apartment, these things happen sometimes. Light hearted and funny, canon divergence from when Wilson’s staying on House's couch in s2. This is pretty much the homosexual waters have started flowing in House's direction post. Excellent dialogue.

***not another medical drama series (10k) by captainharkness Retelling of season 1 with House and Wilson as an established relationship. Great slice of life stories! Ongoing. The first is H/W POV, the second is Cameron, and the third is Chase. My favourite is definitely the second one (someone else’s story). I adore seeing H/W through the ducklings’ eyes. 

Synchronicity by copperbadge (10k) Dead patients, car wrecks, drug overdoses, journalists, Comatose Charlie, and orange chicken. Must be love.

systemic by ictus (10k) Ever since Wilson moved in, House has presented with some inexplicable symptoms. Fortunately, he has a team of talented doctors to aid him with his diagnosis. Season 2 fic! This one is funny and sweet and overall a great read.

Rush Down Darkness by Starlingthefool (10k) House MD/World War Z crossover. Told mainly through interview dialogue from house’s pov. Engaging story. House/Wilson definitely takes a backseat to the plot — there’s no grand getting together or anything. That's not to say it's not about them though, because there were still lots of good moments (good in the sense that my heart hurts). More succinctly, it has the vibes of an established relationship fic., although it isn't technically one.

Defensive Strategies by Milkshake Butterfly (~10k) (lj) In which Wilson is tired of being asked out by women when he's not ready to date again, and naturally House proposes a simple solution: pretend to be together. An enjoyable read.

******Commonplace and True by celestialskiff (11k) It would be a simple story--House and Wilson meet at a medical conference, have sex, and enjoy each other's company--but nothing is ever easy, or simple. Explores Wilson's relationship with House, with women, and with himself. House and Wilson throughout the years — with the version of canon where Wilson has cheated on every wife and girlfriend with House. When I tell you I am FROTHING!!! Pining while fucking?? The way it’s never the right time?? The greed of wanting to have your cake and eat it too? (That one’s specifically for Wilson, our beloved three-wives guy.) The vibes are immaculate. The prose is elegant verging on poetic. I’m eating this fic whole and it will be on my mind always. It is THE hilson fic for me. It is criminal that this fic has been up since 2012 and it only has 200 kudos. Go read it immediately & give the author some love.

***Declarations of Independence by Namaste (ff.net, also on livejournal) (11k) House and winter, throughout the years. I really enjoyed this. Excellent writing. Copy pasting a part of a comment by bedawyn which articulates why this fic is unique better than I can: “So far, I've seen a lot of focus in the fanfic (and the eps) on the pain and the Vicodin, but very little awareness of the practical aspects of limited mobility and the emotional impact of those even apart from the pain. So this was a very nice change.”

***Rule of Three by Transformatron (11k) (House/Wilson/Foreman) Foreman sees something he shouldn't have. And, maybe, wants something he shouldn't have, too. This was well written and super hot, with fun dialogue and descriptions that do justice to the excellent writing of the show itself. Foreman is faithfully characterised in a way that made me sympathetic. Also H/W outsider perspective as a third is such a treat to read. Lower me into my grave!!!!

*Warning Signs by out_there (12k) Excerpt: House looked to the left, staring down at the open box. Wilson knew that expression on his face: House was torn between denying it all and gleefully acknowledging his schemes. Normally, his ego won out and, like a comic super villain, he'd explain all. Wilson just needed to stay quiet and wait. This fic was fantastic. I am disgustingly fond. Superb characterisation. Light hearted and funny.

The Oncologist Trap by zulu (13k) (2007) House subtly seduces Wilson. Somehow.

The Line of Thought by tevinterimperium (13k) House and Wilson pretend to be together to play a prank on the ducklings, which is an extremely plausible scenario. From the perspective of the ducklings. Set sometime after 3x15: Half-Wit.

hail mary by ictus (13k) A post-canon fix it! In the weeks since finishing the show and reading this fic there are times I forgot that this wasn’t canon. It’s such a believable (and well-researched) alternate ending that feels like an actual episode.

Son of Mine by simoneallen (14k) Sherlock is House’s long-lost kid. Usually I’m not a fan of cross-over fics but I enjoyed this one. Established relationship on the johnlock side, getting together on the hilson side.

***hearts turn red by ictus (14k) In my head this is the counterpoint to Commonplace and True. When I found it after reading that one it really was a holy shit two fucking cakes?? moment. The delicious infidelity vibes are similar, but the vibes of the writing are pretty different -- whereas the above fic has a more quiet, subdued atmosphere, this one has more snappy prose and it’s more light-hearted with funny moments as well as emotional ones. It’s not just the infidelity theme that makes me crazy about both of them though; it’s how they play on the great tragedy of House and Wilson. In the author’s own words: In a way they do feel a little bit doomed to never quite be on the same page with each other until the very end of the series and by then it's too late. Of course, in these fics, they’re rescued earlier than the end, but the wretched vibes remain. Also, I’m obsessed with this line: By Wilson’s read, House is somehow simultaneously joking and sincere: Schrödinger’s sexual advance. That is the entire fucking show.

An Inconvenient Truth by annathaema (15k) Wilson helps out Cuddy and reveals something about himself in the process. House freaks out accordingly. Also features banana-colored babies, the men's room, and Skee-Ball.

*at the rind by ShanaStoryteller (19k) An AU where Wilson experiences all the near death moments House has in the show as a series of nightmares. Set between 1.19 and 2.05, but spoilers for the whole show. Protective Wilson!! We love to see it. I also like Wilson’s characterisation here - you can very much see how not-normal he is. We love unhealthy co-dependency.

***Esopus Creek by shaycat (24k) An eighty-year-old widower by the name of Eugene Skinner ventures out one September day in upstate New York for his usual morning activity - fly fishing. His leisurely hobby is interrupted by a bickering pair nearby in the river. That chance encounter with Greg House and James Wilson changes the course of his life. Told from the perspective of the last friend the boys make on their final road trip. This was the perfect post season 8, Wilson-still-dies fic. A sad fic but not a depressing one. It’s quiet and heartwarming, in a bittersweet way. Highly recommend. It has great use of outsider POV — I’m always a sucker for it but it worked particularly well in this case to have the angst but not be drowning in it. Also I just really liked the OC.

***Howler Tone by baffledbear (25k) The calls always happen late at night, and they're extremely sporadic, with weeks, sometimes months bridging between them. They talk on the phone otherwise, of course; about patients, or dinner plans, or carpooling. Typical stuff. But the calls that always end a certain way always start a certain way. Wilson is so repressed but so attracted to House. House is taking as much as he can get while still remaining in relative safety. Together they push a platonic relationship to the absolute limits of plausible deniability. Overall totally realistic within the canon of the show — the natural step up from the gay chicken already depicted. It’s just such a perfect scenario for them! That combined with silky smooth prose, faithful characterisation and accurate dialogue makes this fic is a definite hilson favourite and also a hilson-thesis fic.

*The Open Road by Pun (25k) A fandom classic. Road trip fic set in the earlier seasons. It's good; read it.

*He Won't Tell You That He Loves You by hellshandbasket (25k) [In which Nolan pulls at the Wilson thread, and House can't stop it all from unraveling. Repression is a hell of a drug.] Early s6. Another fandom classic that is worth its salt.

no need to worry (making up your mind) by scribespirare (25k) House makes the mistake of telling his mother he can't join her for Christmas because of his new boyfriend. Somehow, this becomes Wilson's problem. Cute and fun. I put off reading fake-dating fics because I was worried about them being OOC but this one definitely wasn’t!

***Sticks and Stones by Transformatron (25k) (WIP) House has an innovative new idea for managing his chronic pain. Wilson’s not sure he approves - but when has House ever asked for permission? This is such a great concept I am climbing the walls!!! D/s with House as the sub. The story is currently still at pre-relationship stage, with House experimenting with BDSM and Wilson being unhappy with the proceedings (for some unknown reason /s). Also the writing is nice and snappy with some great figurative language that manages to incorporate medical themes impressively well. 

Fresh Feeling by justkeeptrekkin (30k) House is tricked into going on a team-building trip with his colleagues. He does far more bonding with Wilson than anyone else. Funny and well written. The team interactions are very cute.

***Tracking Time by Namaste (37k) (ff.net) A look at House and Wilson's friendship over the years and how it has changed from their meeting through the end of the first season. I don’t usually read long genfics but this one was exceptional. I like Namaste’s take on House and Wilson’s characters. And they are a very good storyteller — one thing that you don’t tend to see as much of in fanfiction is the old adage of ‘show not tell’. The writing in this fic is careful and subtle, and lets you read between the lines, making it so that no part of the 37k words is a drag to read.

*The Body Found by fourteencandles (46k) Wilson's missing. When I tell you I cried... Premium angst & hurt/comfort. Excellent dialogue with some alternating POV (House mainly, but you also get the three ducklings & Cuddy).

You Already Know How This Will End by fourteencandles (46k) What if House had gone to rehab right after/around "Merry Little Christmas"? (3.10) This fic was interesting. It’s told in a series of short vignettes with a variety of different perspectives. It’s not really a hilson fic (or a fic for any ship). It just explores the characters. I did wish for more hilson but it’s a good read (I mean, it’s fourteencandles). The one hilson scene near the end where they hire a hooker in Atlantic City lives in my head rent free. Warning that the ending is rather abrupt and I didn’t find it satisfying, but I think it works for this kind of story, in a way. Messy people and their complicated relationships, with a lot of loose ends left untied, because that’s just what life is. 

***For Every Closed Door by starlingthefool (around 50k?) (lj) Overview of the chapters (14 with 4 interludes and an epilogue) is on the author’s lj (scroll down).  House MD/Dead Like Me crossover.  I love this fic a lot! It’s canon divergence from Season 3. House gets killed in a freak accident and becomes a reaper, remaining in the mortal world to harvest souls, able to interact with people but not be recognisable to those that know him. As the author says, this is an Afterlife!Fic and therefore a deathfic. They also said it’s not depressing — which is true, because it’s more plotty than an angstfest, and there are lots of light-hearted parts, but it is definitely heartbreaking at points. I literally cried all the way through the last chapter. Happy ending though!!! Don’t worry about the cross-over aspects. I haven’t seen Dead Like Me, and as far as I can tell, it just takes the premise of the show. I’m glad I found this fic whilst trawling 2000s livejournal because it’s really a hidden gem. Great plot, dialogue, compelling OCs — the whole package! I got so emotionally invested in the story. I think there were maybe a few parts that were a little unpolished but just keep reading. It’s really worth it. 

*A Modest Proposal and Involuntary Commitment series by ignaz (98k) The one where House and Wilson get married so Wilson can’t testify against House in the Tritter arc.  I have an unfortunate habit of downloading fics and then forgetting to bookmark & comment once I’m done, so I don’t have anything detailed to say about this one, but it’s a classic and a favourite of mine.

Twenty Years of Stealing My Food by hwshipper (100k) A backstory taking place over twenty years, from how House and Wilson met all the way to canon. A reimagining of their fucked up, magnetic relationship, with a straightforward writing style. They get together nearly as soon as they meet and maintain a steady open relationship whilst cheating on their various girlfriends and wives throughout the years. 

[harmoniouseclipse]

Woe fankids be upon ye

Doing a little series where I took some ship requests on my instagram to make them fankids, this one is for me tho (jeanlisa to kick it off whoo 🙌🏻) The lineup so far is Cytham, Kavetham, Lionfish (aka Freminet x Gaming aged up probably idk how old they are canonically), Cynonari, Jealuc, and Beiguang, and feel free to send me some other pairings you wanna see (as long as they are legal pls otherwise I will ignore it 👎)

I'm gonna ramble about some headcanons and lore for them under the cut, continue with caution bc I'm insane

These two are my brainrot rn, don't even joke lad. And I wanna tell yall their name meanings too bc I like them a lot 🥹 Zephra's means "west wind" derived from Greek, and it's the feminine version of Zephyr. Tyrian was a type of purple dye used by the Ancient Phoenicians, huge huge HUGE thanks to my pookie bear @miothefish for helping me out with his name!!! Also he has Lisa's butterfly earring and you can't see bc of the angle but Zephra has the rose that went in her hair holding her ponytail <3

I'm also making a massive family tree for the characters as a go along, and just the jeanlisa tree is taking up half of the canvas bc of the KoF and Sumeru characters since Cyno is their uncle and the rest of the gang are their honorary uncles 😭 I'll be posting that once the series is done/all the requests are finished/I run out of ships and otps I enjoy

Here's an alternative version with some more info on most of the characters I wanted to briefly mention in their relation to them; Tyrian likes calling Eula his aunt too even though she was never really considered one for them so it's kind of like her unofficial title she pretends to dislike but she loves it and dotes on Tyrian 🤭 She and Diluc also helped train Zephra with a claymore and Diluc kind of became a parental figure to her in her teen years after Lisa's passing 🥺 She also feels like she's outshined by Jean and that she's not smart or powerful enough to follow in Lisa's footsteps (something that Lisa wouldn't want anyways bc it led her to her death 😔) rip zephra she's just like me fr

And yeah some Kaeya angst bc he's still going thru it I fear, and Jean is single mombossing but she's worried for zephra which me too dawg, im afraid to say she might be cooked 😦 Zephra is also kind of like a weird mix of Lisa when she was her age and Jean, where overall she's well-mannered and kind but she can be competitive and feel the need to push herself too much and pull a few strings to get what she wants from time to time. Tyrian is a ray of sunshine tho, he has not yet witnessed the horrors 💔 I do think that Jean is also a lot easier on him than her mom was with her so that also helps. He's very shy tho and wants to stick with Zephra or Razor most of the time, and they both have some nasty tan lines from going out with Razor and Klee and Fischl a lot 😔 Cyno also freaking loves them and dotes on them and Tyrian is getting a TCG addiction because of it smh, Cyno is also one of Zephra's favorite people and when she's in Sumeru she stays with him and Alhaitham (bc in my universe they are married ough I love cytham)

And (I think?) Klee physically and mentally ages slower than humans so I think she'd be technically 9 or 10, and Zephra is left with babysitting duty most of the time if she's home on break or smth 😭 Klee really looks up to her tho

Also, I wrote Tyrian's last bullet point like he was super young when Lisa died, but I think he was around 7 so he actually remembers Lisa better than I intended it to sound, he was just younger than Zephra (who was 11 at the time) and just didn't have as much time with her as Zeph did, but his most fond memory of Lisa was reading with her and she probably taught them some potion-making skills too.

I think there will be some abyss angst in here too at some point, since I hc Lisa to be probably an Abyss Lector/Harold (I forget which is which) um so thinking that Zeph and Tyrian experiencing some not normal things happening and Jean doesn't know what to do since Lisa also didn't really know what that dog in her was until it was too late 😔 That's what Kaeya's for tho since he's like the heir of the abyss???? Go off king. Also some touchy ragbros angst bc Kaeya is scared for Zeph knowing how close she is with Luc and he doesn't want him to push her away because of her being from the abyss or smth (they mostly made up but it's still a fear in Kaeya's mind both for him and Jean's kids)

I think that's all I wanted to touch on for now?? Mainly just thinking about domestic fluff and angst all the time now 🥺 Zeph not being able to be open with Jean bc she feels like a disappointment but Jean would literally actually die for her and shes proud of her no matter what ough im going to lose my freak dawg guess who my favorite fankid is it's super hard ik

Send me asks or dms or whatever for more ship requests!!! I'm having so much fun with this dawg 🫶🏻

[silliest-heartaches]

Ohh my god DRINKKK!! Dude I love them sooo muchhh. I just love imagining them being head over heels for each other yet constantly denying their feelings, because of how they view themselves, yet still finding comfort and solace with each other. They are so. YES. PERFECT. AUGH.

SHARE MORE ABOUT THEM PLEASE!!!

And I love how you use they/them for Ink and she/her for Dream!!

GOD YEAH I LIKE THEM SO INCREDIBLY MUCH... tbh the main reason i started liking them was bc i was thinking abt them and how doomed yuri coded they were and. The worms Wormed in from there,,,,

I actually use he/they and she/they for ink and dream respectively but!!!!!! I love all hcs and interpretations of them for REAL. nonbinary people who are gay as fuck for real,, very inherrently queer ship regardless of how u see either of them i think...heart seeing them as t4t transmasc and transfem forever personally though so thats what i see em as hehe,, also in my head theyre both aroacespec (though the specifc kind varies from au to au though i do consistently see ink as ace and dream as demiaro :>>)

Im not sure how long these will be so...hcs under the cut lol

- okay well while in my mind while error is technically the First Entity ink sees that isnt just a normal entity, dream is like their First. Friend. you know. Like when error first saw him he was screaming and crying for the hills bc it was also his first time seeing another outcode so. that reaction BUT with dream she was more filled with gentle confusion... this is a bit after she unstoned in the apple incident but still was new to au hopping and naive to most danger so they became friends!!! Questionably so.

-to elaborate, when they first meet dream is still stuck on the ideals of toxic positivity and pushing through hardship no matter what... i think this is something they eventually grow out of and dream will eventually learn to see the need for balance eventually but one of their first disputes happens when ink is running low on ink and most of whats left are the Negative Emotions within him alongside the especially strong panic that he usually feels when they get like this... dream would try to comfort him and try to say that itll work out in the end no matter what and that they just need to push through and that itll be okay like normal comforting words because dream is an empath and can sense feelings right,,i feel like its comforting in some cases but when things get Really Bad and especially when the main reserves of feelings that ink has are Negative, they heavily override his normal sense of self and i imagine they get a lot more. Snappy.... theres also the additional hc thingy of ink also really overexaggerating his feelings and overplaying them a lot for the sake of trying to feel more intensely (doesnt work, just drains him faster and will never truly feel natural to him...personally think that ink feels a lot of disconnect from his feelings) which could be considerably offputting to dream (though before adding swap to the group she thought it wass normal because she had only seen the fake pretend nice joy of the village influenced by her aura and not Genuine Feelings)

I think eventually through the years they would learn a lot from eachother...like with ink learning to be more naturally charismatic and dream learning to see past toxic positivity and have his perception on emotions change for the better (ie in learning that having different emotions are okay, so long as there is a balance)

id do alot more hcs but tbh what it boils down to is: toxic codependent yuri. intensely up and down relationship where theres an insane amount of love and attachment but also a lack of self from the both of them because they are only able to see themselves as a Thing to the other. Also exes who turned out to be besties. Thry got together and broke up wayyy before blue (they casually tell him stories about it and for the parts that he does know about he is horrified for.) Oh and they share hobbies and do parallel play alot. dream is more music oriented and can play the cello and flute. ink can play the ukelele but hes more familiar with drawing and painting duh. Also they have a garden. they love growing flowers but their favourites are sunflowers. Also have writing sessions together. Also may/may not also have beautiful princess disorder. (The both of them)

im so sorry this is so incoherrent but erm. yeah im very normal abt them (half of this stuff comes from oc projection the other half is like. Mental illness while in the shower tbh)

[freakinator]

some disjointed and kinda incoherent thoughts about the s5ers + jepexx:

4c - nature vs nurture, his nature of being a somewhat peaceful generous guy with a somewhat solid sense of justice who wants to be friends with everyone thats the closest thing lifesteal can have to a hermitcrafter vs the way lifesteal itself bends and corrupts those very qualities: seeking vengeance against the abyss after they kept taking advantage of him only to kill him to the point of helping with the orbital cannons, reviving wemmbu over and over again cause he felt bad for him, his own builds being used (or at least attempted to be used in the case of sanctuary) as both slaughterhouse and grave as they eventually turn into rubble

jumper - love that corrupts, holding on so dearly to her teammates (both former and current) and her vision of what lifesteal is supposed to be that shes willing to enact extreme and even horrific measures towards others (particularly zam) to protect them and their memories, limiting herself only for the sole purpose of making said measures hurt even more

minute - good ol' Lifesteal TraumaTM babyyyyy!!!!!! how fitting that the most fanboy-y of the new guys is the one that gets to have the most traditional form of Lifesteal TraumaTM, although idk if its better or worse that he basically speedran almost all forms of it courtesy of the PlayersTM, Wemmbu, and the PMC (all he needs now is to keep failing and dying against an impossible enemy and he'd have a complete set)

pentar - yeah i can see why the PlayersTM love him, he's adapted very well to how lifesteal is although that might just be because he seems to be a very chill guy (of particular mention is when zam did his restaurant bit he just went along with it), that being said he still very much has a lot of hallmarks of being a new guy, one being that hes very reactive which im hoping will change soon since the wemmbu election + the advancement race may have possibly flipped a switch in him

wemmbu - props to this guy for trying so hard to exploit at every opportunity, although i do wonder how differently he would act if he was here for s4 or if he would stay exactly the same as he is now

squiddo - when will they return from the war, has the opposite problem to jepexx wherein she keeps getting dragged into plotlines and essentially forced into adapting to how lifesteal is despite her aversion simply because everyone likes her, she knew basically nothing about its culture and yet shes blended in perfectly, technically nothing is their fault and yet still theyve got blood on her hands

jepexx - when will he return from the war, has the opposite problem to squiddo wherein nobody likes him (ingame) so he keeps being pushed away from plotlines, since hes been here before everyone expects him to behave accordingly and yet the lifesteal he knows of is in s1 and therefore he acts according to that culture even tho the server gone long past that, asserting his will even tho its entirely unwelcomed such as looting corpses right in front of everyone, technically everything thats happened to him is his fault and yet still hes one of the more innocent players simply because of circumstance and skill issues

[in-amor-veritas]

Hey hey,

Idk if you are still taking prompts but I thought I'd shoot my shot as I missed that you were participating. I absolutely understand if you aren't taking more though.

Wilmon+

"No, no, no, please no!"

Hiii I am still taking prompts :)

This is some kind of silly arts university AU where Wille and Simon are both dance majors (Wille is ballet and Simon is modern/street/hiphop idk what’s the exact term for what im imaging I just know he wants to be a choreographer and run his own studio) also idk why but Wille has s1 hair bc ballet Wille to me always had longer hair 🤷‍♀️

"No, no, no, please no!" Wille stares in horror at the four letter word greyed out under the stupid text message he’d meant to send to his best friend, Felice, and instead sent to the insanely attractive, intimidatingly outspoken and extremely talented boy in his dance history class.

He had sent it to Felice, moping about his crush and hadn’t expected the message to be read so immediately after sending it, so it had been with a horrified gasp when he realized after rushing to unsend that it was no use because Simon had already seen the stupid message talking about how distracted he gets sitting behind him and how badly he wants to get to know him better.

Fighting the urge to throw his phone across the room he lays back on the mattress, staring with some kind of masochistic fascination as the typing bubbles appear, fingers running through long strands of his blonde hair, twisting and pulling the ends in anxiety as he think about what Simon must have thought when he read it, what he’s writing back right now.

Simon must think he’s weird, after-all he’s always been socially awkward and quiet and they’ve barely exchanged more than a few words since the start of this class together, someone as social and popular as Simon Eriksson probably has plenty of people interested in him, Wille can just imagine the other boy showing his friends the message and laughing at how weird that Wilhelm guy is.

He almost doesn’t want to look when he feels his phone vibrate, but he’s too curious and when he see opens the notification he has a slight panic attack as what’s written there, sitting up and pushing his hair out of his eyes he reads it again.

sorry for being too distracting for you to pay attention in class…guess i owe you one…why don’t we get together and study or something sometime….for the record ive watched you in rehearsal and you’re pretty distracting yourself ;)

Wille grins, feeling his cheeks flushed and a sense of curious wonderment bloom inside of his chest—holy shit Felice wasn’t going to believe this.

…..

this is technically 6 but ive decided im not counting the text message as a sentence 😌

[grif-hawaiian-rolls]

Anyways the “essay” about the energy sword to character development pipeline below the cut

Ok so like yea tucker-crunchbite-junior is, obviously, the first instance of the sword-quest-companion theme/trio that im like, rattling in my head rn

Tucker finds the sword, crunchbite shows up and theres the “quest” that challenges tucker both in the false intent (you need to be the hero) and the true intent (SA leading to Junior which is not handled well but it IS important) which is a push against tucker’s character thus far in that he’s the comic relief, make everything a sex joke archetype— he doesnt take it seriously, he doesnt see himself as important beyond getting just enough recognition to be “hot” and now he’s made to be the so called “hero” and the true plot puts him in the one position that he probably never thought could be him. Bc he wants to get laid so… yeah. Pushes his character if you give it like three seconds of critical thinking and not just the standard “haha alien baby bullshit” (that said, i do enjoy fics that explore crunchbite more and play with the potential of the “joke” shitty character into someone less sinister, but im doin my best to stick to canon rn)

And JUNIOR, oh man, because theres the thing that really solidifies this for me like

The dude who doesnt care doesnt bother is all jokes and ‘man whatever’ energy is a dad, and it starts with him trying to avoid it but he really fucking quickly steps the FUCK up for Junior and its the start of his development that people are like “oh he learns to be a leader on chorus” which i mean kinda yeah but he never struck me as a Leader even on Chorus even tho he does decidedly lead, its not the same as when kimball leads or when wash leads or carolina

He’s leads as a dad bc he is a dad

Not always a good one, but he’s trying and yea sometimes that means being the asshole, sometimes that means screwing up but it also means you fucking care and you take responsibility and you put yourself in danger first (the rescue mission, leaving the lieutenants behind)

And that doesnt start on chorus! Its the most evident there sure but

it starts with junior

It starts with him going after tex to protect his son, it starts with him trying to be a diplomat so they stay together, in sending junior away so he is safe while tucker buys time protecting the temple, it STARTS with him looking at church and going “leave my kid out of this” and yeah the way rvb was written and approached does Not take that seriously bc it wouldnt and if it did it would be a very different show but the implications are there and its acknowledged with tucker’s photograph of junior with his 5th grade basketball team (“i know right? Who carries actual pictures anymore” -tucker) which i could go on about THAT too but suffice to say its very clear that tucker cares so gd much about his kid and yeah his character development isnt super linear but you can basically pinpoint when it starts with the sword and junior

The second run of this trio of things is actually grif which is admittedly, a stretch, a big ol reaching for straws (okay, TECHNICALLY grif is the third run, but i’ll address that in a minute) largely a stretch bc grif… does the pattern backwards

This IS S16 stuff so if ur a shisno paradox hater i respect that, i however am gnawing on it with everything i have and will be going feral so this is your warning thank u for reading the tucker side of it mwah appreciate ya

Anyways

Grif does his plot backwards during timetravel shenanigans

He gets the alien companion/friend who contrasts his character first in Huggins

Grif is a loyal friend, but he is lazy, even after s15’s breakdown and apparent change of tune, he’s still looking to take the path of least resistance, avoiding the call, trying to keep things from moving

Enter Huggins: zippy, full of energy, excitable and just so different in that she is not only so proactive she puts herself in danger (which helps everyone in the long run/plot but its the principle) but shes so fucking lonely

As far as she knows, her family is dead, except for muggins who is so dettached from her, he might as well be a coworker and not her brother

Compared to grif, who has a family even when he tries to push them away (the reds, the blues, KAIKAINA) but hates taking action

Huggins is the start for grif’s arc of “it sucks but someones gotta do it” which in their case is best shown as the trudge across the bottom of the english channel which is so fucking funny to me but it really pushes both of them and puts them firmly in the friends category

Huggins cant zip ahead without grif, grif cant stop moving because huggins wont let him, so they find their little balance of gas vs brakes and together they cruise along p well

The actual push of the “quest” is grif having to be the one who steps up (kinda like tucker but its to the left) he’s the one who starts getting everyone together again across the timeline, even if he is very,,,

Well he’s very Grif about it, but it is still fundamentally, the change in character

Tucker isn’t a always good dad, Grif isn’t always a good instigator of action

But theyre trying and theyre working on it and grif’s arc suffers a Little from being so late in the show and thus not having much of a parallel to pull on but you could argue he gets the parallel from s15 anyways with the refusal of the call (from fake church/loco) and rescue mission but i hesitate to call that a parallel bc its literally back to back but an argument could be made for it which i love

Enter part two: the alien quest giver

“Wait wasnt that huggins”

NOPE huggins was alien companion! The Bestie in grif’s case,

The alien fetch quest comes from atlas, in that stupid wishing sequence but cmon it wouldnt be rvb if the character development wasnt sandwiched inbetween obnoxious gags and stupidity

The quest is less important here admittedly bc again, with grif doing this in reverse its not the challenge to his principle character that it was for tucker, his connection to huggins was the challenge, and this becomes the final push into the development, the “you have a role, now play it” that gives grif the final shove into Doing Things literal!! And his prize? For this character development arc? An alien sword

And thus the inverse version reaches an end, sort of (im pissed that technically he loses his sword, im also ignoring that he loses it in canon bc he fucking earned it okay this is a bit of canon i will ignore and loophole my way around it)

And now we track back to Chorus and to the second iteration of the sword-quest-companion plot

Locus

Now okay i will admit this is conjecture and pepe-silvia-on-corkboard-with-red-string fuckery at this point but hear me out okay!

He gets the sword with Felix’s death. We know this. What we dont know is how the fucking hell he gets off Chorus! We just see him show up later with A’rynasea. The vaguely alien (maybe sentient?? AI? Its implied with the way he addresses her but we literally have her for like two episodes) ship that seems to be the driving force (literal) (bc shes his ship) behind his chosen redemption arc where he pushes himself to help others at no apparent benefit to himself, but because it is, and i quote “the right thing to do”

Arguably, Santa could be Locus’ quest giver, seeing as how he is the one who triggers the whole shift in view for Locus in the first place and that is, technically, what crunchbite does and what atlas finalizes for grif! But the problem is we simply dont have enough of A’rynasea to draw the parallel between her and Locus as personalities, as companions for it to work for me??? But that might just be me overthinking? But it does make Locus’ version is a bit messier depending on who you consider his quest-giver but as far as I’m concerned, he’s still on his quest snd its just up to interpretation if A’rynasea is his companion?? or if theres a secret third alien for Locus that we never wouldve seen even if they planned for that bc its red vs blue and im just delusional about locus and his role in plot and this is just me firing concepts blindly into the sky at this point like - yeah i could still theorize what kind of companion characterization i think locus would work well with bc its more about the wielder than the companion in this sense (sorry junior and huggins i love yall i promise) but thats a completely separate rant at this point and not nearly coherent enough at this exact moment to add it PLUS its ridiculously self indulgent and only marginally canon compliant/adjacent but i will never not be amused by this very specific plot beat happening enough to draw these parallels, as tenuous and vague as the parallels are

[moonshynecybin]

Your takes on Marc always feel so accurate so I’d like to hear more of what you think in reference to that ask

i thinkkkkk this ask was about the pre argentina post sepang period where marc is like. attempting to mend his relationship to valentino by pure force of will and also being very sweet but vale is a lil reticent if sometimes polite... estranged but still hanging on to that lethal chemistry. death would be kinder if your name is marc marquez. but im going to take a HARD turn into omegaverse land here so sorry to god and his motorcycle racers

SO i think marc obviously like. doesnt really want to believe its over. hes soooo in love here (and as a canonical late bloomer i dont think hes EVER had a heat without vale?? and he is discovering that he is in fact quite bad at dealing with them by himself?) and i really do think that, as hurt as he was by the sepang fallout, he really thinks vale will get over it with time ! and that eventually theyll be able to be as close as they were previously! as soon as he unblocks me the wedding is back on ! truly cannot imagine doing a heat with anyone else he feels literally cold down to his bones thinking about it. and its not even just the dynamic stuff... he misses the grabby hands on cooldown laps and the hugs in parc ferme and the way vale used to put his long fingers in marc's hair to put him where he wants him when they were fucking and the soft skin of his neck and how when vale would touch him everything in marc's brain could just go quiet. truly he feels it in his TEETH like the longing is LETHAL the longing is PHYSICAL the longing has marc IGNORING HIS BODY'S BASIC NEEDS and refusing to go out and find someone to spend a heat with that would actual resolve the hormonal part of his biology reaching for vale (and break that mf bond). so the heat never quite fully resolves! and he feels antsy and feverish and smells literally crazy for weeks at a time. every alpha in the paddock bristling when the wind changes direction... vale staring at the sky with his nails digging into his palms

so marc's already shaky self control is pushed to the limit by his body's insane hormonal situation (motogp doctor is like. technically he can ride !) and so for a few years he decides to kind of. wage this tentative little campaign to see if he can get vale to smile at him or literally touch him at all and relieve a little of the tension swimming around in his body. ANY relief. so he says hi to him every day. goes up to him in parc ferme. small little touches on the podium. just making vale smell like him a little bit. hind brain rejecting the reality where they havent really touched skin on skin in months. waiting for vale to take off his glove before he shakes his hand. BUT because this is omegaverse and i love DRAMA, what marc doesnt realize is that he is sort of. fortifying the beginning stages of a bond that they had started to form when they were fucking. a bond that WOULD have just died if he left it alone or found someone else, but he canttttt because hes oblivious and in love... AND THEN he gets another heat, and its SO much worse... like the effects are compounding, and he can barely see straight and he's feverish and shaking with big eye bags all pale and sad... and eventually alex notices and pulls the plug. says you will NOT get on a bike like this and marc gets permission to stop and basically COLLAPSES

but meanwhile vale is being driven INSANE this entire time because the bond wont DIE but its also not COMPLETED, and marc keeps TOUCHING HIMMMM and smelling insaneeee like hes in heat literally constantly and vale doesnt know what the ISSUE is.... and hes caught up in soooo much resentment but theres literally a base part of his body that cannot physically ignore marc whatsoever. so its an escalating arms race of horny frustration until marc suddenly pulls out of the race one weekend (the official line is for "dynamic reasons" which vale stares at for full minute wondering. is anyone taking care of marc like he would. caught between wanting him to be okay and feeling SICK thinking about another alpha helping him through any of it...) and then theres a knock at his motorhome door. and its alex marquez, looking tired and a little nervous. and he just says. i need your help. its marc.

[mrsterlingeverything]

Long feelings vent

I broke it off with guy friend yesterday cuz well we were practically in a relationship even though we technically werent and like i really want to like... try everything this life has to offer... i think you could probably tell i was going a little bit insane from not being able to pursue anything with other people because it felt like cheating and i just couldnt do that to him... my phone died last night and he thought i blocked him and he sent me a long message about feeling hurt but wishing me the best... UGH i got a push from someone in my life to just rip the bandaid off but i feel like i took some of him with me when i did and the timing was shit but when is the timing good enough also he thinks theres someone else because of how sudden it was but there isnt but i also feel like i do need to like take advantage of the fact that im single because last time we had a month long break i didnt see other people and never got it out of my system and i just need to know like do i actually want that or do i want the stability and the beautiful life we had together... i just couldnt fully commit to him knowing that i havent tried so many things i wanted to like im bi but still havent been with a girl for example. And others. I couldnt pursue any of that with him so close to me i just didnt want to do that to him. I basically told him that we need a break so that I can like do my thing but it hurt him so bad that again i dont feel like i can have the fun i wanted but i feel like i already hurt him so i need to go through with it because otherwise it was for nothing. At least we're out of this relationship limbo that lasted a year and a half though. I want to get back together with him but if i do it too soon then ill feel the same way sooner than later. I told him not to wait for me because i think thats cruel but i could see us being together forever. Why cant i have it all.

[wachtelspinat]

Hi, I saw your background with studying medicine and being an artist and I wanted to ask something!! hope it isn't uncomfy. so the school system by itself is killing my creativity and Im afraid I'll completely lose myself if I get into college... Even if I choose to study something art related. College is really absorbing and I don't want to graduate and have killed the only talent I have, thats scary!!! So, how did you "go" back? did drawing help with the stress of college or make it worse? Sometimes my studies define me so so much I cant do anything else, its so frustrating :(

hey there ! i really don't know if i can bring sth to the plate that's positive or uplifting in the matter because i've been in a struggle with art myself for almost 2 years now. i'm really trying to come back but the pace has changed drastically. it's still a constant mood crusher everytime i look back and see how my output has declined. nevertheless i'm drawing again in the smallest babysteps so hopefully i'm gonna pick up the pace again at some point.

as for school and art. yeah. i kind of opened with my current situation because altho (med) school was A Meatgrinder technically speaking i still found time to draw here and there. which was mostly thanks to my higher energy lvl back then and my BIG motivation to draw and to share. so i'd say drawing absolutely helped with the stresses of studying and med school. it was my happy place and escapism. and because of that there was hardly any doubt in my head that i'll ever lose that. so i think it is safe to say that as long as you want to draw you will always be drawing.

second thought here which is also important is that you won't be stuck in an eternal grind, even if it feels like it sometimes. there will be times in which everything sucks. and there will be times in which everything could be worse. and if you wanna draw then, you're going to draw. that's at least how i experienced it. even the longer periods of not drawing because of exhaustion/loss of motivation/exam periods etc eventually pass. and sometimes it's ok to remind yourself that drawing is not everything, altho we like to think that way sometimes. it's absolutely ok not to draw for a while.

another breaking point for me was when i actually started to study for art (anatomy as in for drawing etc) because it helped me at a point at which i felt stuck and it made me understand that i will never be done learning in regards of drawing. which is a good reminder whenever you feel like you are losing your "talent", which is not a talent but a work in progess for years and years to come. so in the end, even if you have to step back from drawing for the time being, you have the ability to always come back to it and get better again. like we have to treat making art like learning a language, there is never an end to it and we have to practice to be back in shape. i know this sounds like work but idk for me it made sth click in my head that i'm not losing sth here. i just have to warm up and get back on the track again.

i hope this helped in some way, i'm really sorry that you feel like you are about to experience a great loss (i absolutely get you, it sucks to deal with this, esp. when outer circumstances force you to push your hobbies in the background) but i think that if you really want to engage with drawing again, you won't lose this. you may have to put work into it, and it may not be today or tomorrow, but if you really want to do it, you keep at it.