#AND IM PUSHING IT BECAUSE IT'S STILL TECHNICALLY LONG

[prosebushpatch]

I rewrote my thesis and it's under 120k words bay-beeeeeeeee!!!!!!! Let's goooooo!!!!!!

[bmpmp3]

dysgraphic artiƨts risɘ UP!!!!!

[crvstybowlofcereal]

this is a really specific vent(?) post. im processing things by putting them in words. its not serious, feel free to ignore me lol

i just want to say that a couple years ago when i was in the beginning stages of researching autism (and would soon realize i am most likely autistic) i was in a relationship. and communication in a relationship is So Very important to me. I would constantly ask how he was (obviously it was more specific to whatever situation was going on) and he would always say he was fine. If I had even the Slightest hint that he wasn't actually Fine (like 19 times out of 20) i would continue asking if he was sure and if he wanted to talk, and he continued to say he was fine. half the time i assumed he meant it and i read the situation wrong, the other half of the time i assumed he didn't want to talk about it.

he ended up breaking up with me because i

"didn't pick up on some things"

"what kind of things?" i asked

"idk, just, things."

and he had been talking to my friend (U) about our relationship, and telling her that i wasn't picking up on things. she got mad at me and we had a "fight" for a short time, she thought i was being a bad partner, and her sister (M) (who is toxic and possessive) felt like i wasn't spending enough time with her, so she complained about it to their mom, who got mad at U for it for some reason? so U also brought all that up, telling me M felt left out. (i wasn't leaving M out of anything, i was sitting with my partner at lunch half of the time, she was welcome to join, but didnt, looking back i think M has RSD and maybe i should have been more direct when moving to a new location to explicitly invite her) (U was also not in school at the time due to covid, so its not like i was spending more time with her over M, which is something M would get so upset about if she perceived it to be that way [she was incredibly possessive of me as a friend and the extent of it made me feel like an object tbh])

U never brought up the issues my partner talked about, because that's how we are, we don't make it known someone was venting to us, to respect their privacy, but it fueled her emotions during our "argument" so i really only heard her being mad at me for not including M, (which i later learned is because M's emotions were made to be her problem when they shouldn't have, this has been a running problem so it wasnt that surprising to learn) so i started spending more time with M, but it was school, and i had work, so schedules only allowed so much time, and any time I was with M (lunch and one class) was when i was also with my partner, but i had other classes with him so i assumed it was fine, but he started drifting away (also around a time i attempted to communicate something important about our relationship, which ended up making him uncomfortable, but he didn't say anything about it until we had a conversation after breaking up)

i was stuck in a place where i felt like no one around me communicated how they felt and still expected me to understand them and do what they wanted me to do

U and i recently reflected on this and realized my ex was a shitty communicator (he and his next partner also broke up because he didn't say how he felt and expected them [also most likely autistic] to... just kinda know ig?) and that she should have gotten my side of the story (she had no idea i was frequently checking on him and trying to get him to talk to me)

and that she wasnt actually upset at me about M, she was upset that people were making it her problem, and she was especially upset during this reflection to learn that M was not being left out at all, she was just doing That Thing again where she wanted me to be Her friend and Only Her friend.

U AND I ARE NOT MAD AT EACH OTHER FOR ANY OF THIS, I WAS NEVER MAD AT U AND U WAS ONLY MAD ABOUT HER PERCEPTION OF THE SITUATION, AND ONLY FOR A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME, EVERYTHING IS FINE

so basically i went like a year and a half thinking that people were rightfully mad at me and i was too self absorbed to pay attention to other peoples' emotions and i started learning how to read people again (clearly my body language research from middle school wasn't cutting it anymore) only for me to realize i just need people to be a little more direct that allistic people typically are, and those specific people were just being dogshit at communicating, (even for allistic people, relative to my needs)

anyways highschool post-covid was Really Fucking Weird and socially stressful for me

TL;DR reflecting on my communication needs not only not being met, but being far undershot for even a "normal" persons needs and how i was convinced I was the problem because of circumstances

[ebsmind]

My Little Treasure | president!Nico Hischier x fem!reader

summary : being the presidents mistress isn’t easy. even when another woman comes out saying she’s having an affair with him.

word count : 8.5k (the longest ive ever written BE PROUD OF ME)

warning(s) : this is purely based off of shonda rhimes SCANDAL sjiwiejdj, angst, longing (kinda? idk), cheating/infidelity (nellie deserves better), reader pushes her feeling aside, timo being called nico’s personal bitch AHAHAHA, murder (mentioned in case), non accurate descriptions of politics and law stuff, like 2-3 mentions of vomit , use of Y/N (I tried not too but I just couldn't), tbh there’s not a lot of nico x reader IM SORRY part 2 will make up for it, heavy makeout session, smut kinda? idk but next part will be smutty TRUST, getting caught by timo (what the hell Timo), VIOLENCE aka just a slap in the face, one flashback spicy scene and i think that's it!

a/n : LISTEN LISTEN before i say ANYTHING i just wanted to say that i know nico isn’t american but im currently hyper fixated on him and only him and i just started watching scandal again SO I HAD TO so please if you don’t like the “accuracy” don’t read it! this is FICTIONAL but yeah here we are! this closely follows the first episode from season 1! this is a long oneeeee! i’ve also changed the names of Abby, Quinn, Harrison, Huck, AND Cyrus (you’ll see who I change him with 😏) I also go along with the case that’s happening so this is semi like a mystery but not? idk how to explain but you’ll see as you read. send me something in my inbox if you want me to elaborate on anything about the side characters! i definitely want to turn this into an au so send me something so i can write about it or talk about it! here’s the mood board! this is also my second time writing anything spicy so please bear with me, this whole fic idea really had me out of my comfort zone so it isn't my best writing but I still wanted to get this out!

The clicks of your So Kate’s are heard throughout the law firm. Everyone knows it’s you, just by the way you walk. It’s swift and carries determination, you are on a mission. You present yourself with a sense of purpose to your colleagues. Scratch that, they’re family. Despite them technically being your coworkers, you would do anything for the four of them. From saving Gwen from her violent ex-husband to Kurt, a soldier who had served in the United States CIA’s top secret, off the books, B-613 program who ended up being dumped on the streets to beg for food, you saved them and they were all you had. 

You step into the standard-sized conference room, and the extensive window along the back wall displays an orange-to-blue hue. The sun is setting and making it known that the end of the day is near. You first make eye contact with Blair, the senior associate at the firm. She stops her conversation amongst everyone and before she can greet you, Kurt, who is sitting at the very right end of the table, utters, “Perla Schmitz killed herself, channel 5.” 

You make no time to strut to the table and grab the TV remote, which had been sitting next to Blair. You don’t need to change the channel once you press the power button on the remote, it’s all you watch in the firm—across the 55’ inch screen, displayed in bold lettering ‘Perla Schmitz (26) found dead in her home’. You take a second to yourself. Perla had been caught cheating on her husband, who was a very conservative congressman, but that wasn’t the icing on the cake. The guy she was having an affair with? He murdered her husband, brutally. 27 stab wounds to the chest, his head almost decapitated because of how much force was used to slit his throat. If someone were to ask you, you’d say she had it coming. 

You turn to the group and raise a finger in the air as you start to speak. “We knew this was coming, let’s not pretend that she wasn’t the one cheating on her husband.” 

Perla came into your office late last Friday night, around 11:25. You had stayed longer than you originally wanted to, needing to finish up some paperwork that had to be done for one of the previous clients you had. What a way to bring in the new year, but you weren’t complaining. 

“Exactly! I knew she didn’t have enough willpower to continue her life. She took the easy way out, man.” You take a seat at the left end side of the table, parallel to Kurt while Neil, another associate and close friend of yours finishes his veracious remark. You decide it’s best to tell Neil and everyone else to drop the topic, but before you can open your mouth, the firm doors open. The 7-foot ebony-colored wood doors reveal a man with black hair and blue eyes, maybe mid to late 20s. The first thing you notice is how his eyes tear up before he speaks, not how he’s covered in blood. 

“I-…I didn’t kill her I swear! She was my best friend, we were gonna get married!” 

Your irises scan over the pinned evidence on the whiteboard, it had been approximately 18 hours since the 6’2 blood blood-covered man had walked into your firm. Sully St. James comes from an extremely well-respected family. His father was a Veteran from the Vietnam War. Sully himself had done two tours in Iraq and received the Medal of Honor. Having someone as well respected as him, show up to the front door of your firm, asking for help wasn’t new but you were determined to help the man not get convicted as the killer in his girlfriend’s murder case. You needed time, but the US attorney general David Rosen was stubborn. 

“Okay! So, according to Sully, he had just come home from the bar down on 9th St, called SOST, he then walked into the bathroom where the crime scene is, saw Paige’s body on the ground,” Blair points out and before she can finish her sentence Kurt cuts her off. 

“Paige suffered from 2 bullets to the chest and 1 to the head. This wasn’t a freak accident, someone wanted her dead.” Kurt crosses his arms and moves up from the far end of the table. He was correct, but your gut couldn’t help but wail that Sully was not the cause. 

Blair continues to explain the approximate details, “Here’s the weird part, Sully calls the police but before they can get there he flies, and he flies here.” She takes a step away from the whiteboard and makes eye contact with you. She can sense what you’re already going to say. Blair knows you, and she knows you like the back of her hand. 

“My gut tells me that he didn’t do this. Something is missing. I need more, all of you need to try to find something, anything! Anything that can clear this man’s alibi. He said it himself that he loved her and that she was his best friend. I believe him.” You step up from the chair you were sitting in and start heading towards the conference room doors when your cell phone starts to ring. Grabbing it out of your left pocket, the name “Timo Meier” is displayed across the screen. You huff in response. 

He needs you right now and you know if Timo were to tell you to head to the White House as soon as possible you would and it wouldn’t end in a way you would like. Yet, you still manage to press the green button, confirming the call. 

“What do you want.” You’re busy and Timo knows it. This isn’t some ‘Oh hi! How are you doing? I haven’t heard from you in a while phone call. Timo didn’t have time for that, being the White House’s Chief of Staff to Nico Hischiers personal bitch, he never had time.

Timo sighs, you can already picture him, sitting at his desk, elbow resting on it, his thumb and pointer finger trying to relieve his throbbing headache. Timo did so much for the President of the United States and somehow that included calling you on a random Tuesday afternoon. 

“He needs you to come in. Something happened and we need you to make it go away.” Timo lets you take a second to respond. Already sensing that the situation was substandard, it had been months since you had last spoken to Timo and maybe even half a year since you’ve seen Nico. Physically. It wasn’t that you hated him, you could never. It was the fact you left your position as the White House Communications Director for yourself. Everything you did was always for Nico and never not you and when the realization of that hit you, it was time to go. It’s time to separate yourself from some fantasy that only ever works out in the books. The feeling of two hands wrapped around your throat finally caught up to you. 

“I’ve got a client sitting in my conference room Timo.” 

“Look, I know, I know, but this isn’t something that needs to be out in the public. Make it go away. Please. If not for him, for me.” He’s desperate and you know it. If you were to tell him that the only reason you were about to agree was because you held him in such high regard, you’d never hear the end of it. So, you keep your reply as simple as needed. 

“Okay, I’ll be there in 45 minutes. I need to let Neil know.” 

You spot Timo before he spots you. He’s sat on a bench, perhaps getting some proper vitamin D. You watch the way his foot taps every other millisecond. Being cooped up in a mediocre-sized office in the White House can make someone feel insane, you’ve been there. 

As you get closer, you examine the navy blue suit that he’s dressed in. It’s his favorite one, he has 3 more pairs of it because he wears it so much. His tie has gold accents on it, it’s from his wife. You had helped her pick it out for him since you had seen him a lot more than she did. His eyes are heavy, he’s needs a vacation, a long one to be exact. You’ll let Nico know if you ever see him again, maybe he can pull some strings for him even if it’s a nice (long-awaited) expensive dinner.

You walk up the concrete steps before reaching Timo, the only thing grabbing his attention is the click of your heels. Once he realizes that you have walked up to him, you open your mouth to greet him. 

“What.” Timo giggles, he’s knows you mean business but he can’t deny he misses your presence around in the White House even if you were telling him off half of the time. 

“Well, hello to you too.” He stands up and gestures to start walking with him. You obey and within a second you guys stride across the walkway that overlooks the White House. 

“What do you need me for Timo? I don’t work for him anymore.” 

“He needs a favor.” You scoff at Timo and choose not to say anything.

“You still came. You came when I called.” His words hit you like a bus. It stings. Both you and Timo know that whenever the President needs anything from you, you’ll be there in a heartbeat. You’d do anything for everyone you love. You were loyal. That’s how it always had been and why Nico wanted you there every step of the way. He knew that he could turn his back and not expect a knife to be plunged into it. 

“Her name is Vanessa Wyatt. She works in AIDE. She claims to have had an affair with him. I need you to make it go away and fast.” Timo places his right arm on his abdomen, in response you hook your left one into his right and walk side by side with Timo. 

“Is it true?” You try to show no reaction but green envy begins to boil in your stomach.

“No, of course not, but I need you to shut it down.” 

“I need to see him.” You don’t think about your reply until after it leaves your mouth. Both you and Timo come to an abrupt stop. He takes a step back and faces you. 

“No, I don’t think that’s possible.” 

“You want me to shut her up? Then I need to look at him in the eyes and know he’s not lying.” Timo knows that you're serious. You always are. 

“The President’s schedule is packed. He has no time to see you.” He’s straightforward, Timo doesn’t have time for negotiating but luckily for you, you’re a persuasive person. You tend to always get what you want even if it means overstepping some boundaries. 

“He wants my services but here’s the thing Timo, I do not work for him anymore! So, tell him to make time to see me if not you’re just gonna have to find someone else to do it for you. You know where to find me.” 

After giving Timo a faint smile, you turn to walk away. As one foot goes in front of the other, you can’t help but feel that some part of this story is true making your heart ache.

By the time you get back to your office, you get a phone call from Timo, confirming that Nico managed to get out of a meeting so that he could talk to you. With that, you grab your coat off the coat rack and start heading towards the conference room to let at least Gwen know about your abrupt departure. 

“Hey Gwen, duty calls at the White House, I’ll be back in a couple of hours. Anything new?” Gwen knows you’re talking about the case and before she utters anything new she’s found, she strides to the door and closes it. 

Knowing that Sully is just in the room next door, she lowers her voice, “Kurt managed to get into Paige’s email and I’ve been reading. I found one where she emailed a friend. She was supposed to meet up with a friend at the embassy party together but never showed.” 

You nod your head to show that you understand but it’s not enough information to be able to explain why Paige was murdered so, you request more information. 

“Who? and Why?” Keep it simple. 

Gwen takes about a second before she replies, “A girl named Ariel, and I don’t know why.” 

“Find out why. ‘I don’t know’ is not an answer I’m gonna take.” That sentence leaves your mouth as fast as lightning strikes the Earth’s outermost crust. 

To other people, your reply would’ve been seen as impolite but to you and everyone at the firm, it was just that ‘I don’t know’ wouldn’t get you anywhere in a case. Especially when so much is at stake.

“I won’t be long Gwen. Tell Blair and she’ll go interview the friend.”

Once you arrive at the White House you are led to Timo’s office. It’s nice and spacious, with a window that overlooks a garden. Nellie’s garden. A sour taste forms in your mouth. The garden is small, not as big as Jacqueline Kennedy’s garden but Nellie insisted she needed her own. You were told moments ago that she’d be attending this “meeting” and as much as you dislike it, you can’t help but feel empathy for Nellie. She was nothing but nice to you when Nico hired you as the manager for his campaign. It sucked most that you went not even a month later you started sleeping with her husband. 

The combined noises of clothes rustling and heavy breaths consume the aura of the small hotel room. It’s unbelievable how an innocent dinner between two ‘colleagues’ can turn outright sexual within two hours, but you weren’t complaining. Maybe it was the two glasses of cabernet sauvignon that your unconscious level of operation had convinced you to drink. 

Nico places open-mouthed kisses from behind your ear, down to the spot on your breast that the black lace push-up bra doesn’t cover. The white ironed shirt, that had been covering your bra, had been tossed over your head about 15 minutes ago and the black midi skirt was currently being tugged down your hips. As for Nico, all to go was the baby blue dress shirt he wore, and the black tie. Which had been taken off right when the two of you entered the room. His dark navy blue pants remained on the list of clothes that needed to be discarded.  

You take a second to admire Nico’s disheveled hair. The thought of pulling it with your fingers when he whispers sweet nothing’s into your core flashes across your mind. Nico cuts off that thought once his lips make contact with yours. It’s messy and filled with need. The months of longing stares, mainly from him, were finally catching up. You take notice that your black skirt is now pooled at your feet. You take a step out of them, in a haze, the action bringing you closer to Nico. He steadies you by placing his hands on your hips. His fingertips graze the matching black lace panties you paired with your bra. He smirks into the kiss at the thought of you planning it out. 

Nico takes small steps, notifying you to do the same but backward, and guides you to the small light wooden desk against the wall opposite of the bed. The back of your thighs hit the desk and with a swift motion, Nico grabs you at the waist and sets you to sit on top of it. A quick gasp escapes your naturally pouty lips and with that, Nico gets on his knees. 

Timo snaps you out of that thought fairly quickly, “Well hello, long time no see!”

He’s being sarcastic, but you waste no time to get to the point. 

“I was told Nellie was going to be here. She knows about this?”

Timo nods, acknowledging your words, and replies, “It’s not like how it was during the election. The isolation of the White House bonded them, their marriage is as strong as ever.” 

Before you can react to Timos statement, Nellie comes barging into the room. 

“Y/N!” 

You fake a smile, deep down you could never hate Nellie. No matter how hard you try. “Nellie, hi! How are you doing?!” Faking your enthusiastic response, you can’t help but feel guilty. It wasn’t hard to read Nellie, so you could tell she missed your presence around in the White House. Once Nellie reaches you she engulfs you in a heartwarming hug. She rubs your back and soaks in the moment, reminiscing an old friendship.

You’re the first to step away and once you create a small fragment of distance, Nellie answers your question.

“I’m doing well! It’s taking some time getting used to you not being here but I’m managing. How’s the firm?”

“We’re doing well over there. It’s been busy but I like being occupied…can never get enough of it.” You chuckle at the tiny comment you make and Nellie goes to carry the conversation but comes to a halt when the double doors to Timo’s office open once again. 

You told yourself, on the drive over to the White House, that you would keep things strictly professional but Nico always managed to make that very hard. Not only that, you still deeply cared for the man and he did the same as well. But the moment you saw his face everything you had prepared yourself for had expeditiously faded away. You can’t even process the moment, that he’s here and physically in front of you until he’s shaking your hand. 

The last time you saw Nico was at a charity gala in late June. Five months after you left. You only managed to stay for an hour until everything felt overwhelming. Your chest felt like it was being compressed by an unseen entity, and bile was rising in your throat. Nico had tried his best to talk to you but with Nellie by his side and her pregnancy rumors, he couldn’t. It broke his heart when he saw the tears in your eyes. You’d felt betrayed but also knew that being the President’s mistress meant that you never came first. Even if he lied to you and said that you did. 

“Y/N, It’s good to see you.” He’s keeping it simple. He can’t show too much vulnerability, there are still two people in the room. 

“Likewise, Mr. President.” You drop your hand first from the handshake and look closely at Nico. He shaved two days ago, you can tell by the stubble sitting on the lower half of his face. It has just grown enough to the point where if he could get on his knees in front of you, you’d feel it scratch your inner thighs. 

“Shall we take a walk?” Timo kindly suggests. 

The three of you decide to chat in Jacqueline Kennedy Garden. With the company of two secret service members but you don’t mind. 

It may be January but the pansies are still in season. You walk up and admire the some that are purple. You notice that in the outer part of the petal, they’re royal purple, but towards the center, they’re light purple - almost a lilac color. That would be a nice color for a wedding. You’re too busy admiring the flowers that don’t notice the sound of footsteps approaching until the person has already reached you. It’s Nico. You don’t even need to look to know it’s him. He clears his throat before starting the conversation with you. 

“I know you have your hands full with the Sully St. James situation so, thank you for doing this, for me.” He turns to look at you. God you’ve missed him. 

Timo walks up behind you and the president, the two secret service agents aren’t too far behind. He pulls out a beige file folder and speaks. 

“Her name is Vanessa Wyatt.” You take hold of the folder and open it up. 

“I know.” 

“Well if you let me finish- anyways, she’s 25. I’ve heard rumors that she might be talking.” Timo states and looks off into the distance. It’s nice and sunny outside, but not even for it to take the edge off the cold. You take a look at what she looks like. She must be new, or at least got hired after you resigned. She’s cute but looking at her makes you feel nauseated. You push that feeling aside, it’s best at what you do. 

“But you can’t fire her. At least not without a shit show going off.” Both Timo and Nico nod. Nico has yet to say anything. You find it odd but push that thought aside. You know Nico wouldn’t do this. 

“Look, she hasn’t gone to the press, so best shut it down before she opens her mouth.” Timo’s phone rings and he excuses himself to take the call. It’s just you and Nico. A part of you doesn’t want to ask him the long-awaited question but you still do it anyways.

“I have to ask, did you do it?” You look up at him for the first time after reaching the garden. All you see are his eyes, they’re identical to the color of the way he takes his coffee. 

“No. I would never do that.” Nico pauses but doesn’t break the eye contact. You’re starting to feel light-headed. Your heart wants to believe him but there’s someone in your ear screaming that he isn’t telling the truth. 

“You’ve known me for a long time. Most of my time has been spent with you. You know I would never, ever fall for some girl. You know there’s only one girl I truly love.” He accentuates the last sentence. Only you know he’s talking about you. It’s a secret embedded between the two of you. You feel warm, not the bad kind, but the warm and comfy kind. He knows you need reassurance, he knows you think he’s lying, and he knows that if he did do it, it would be unforgivable. It feels like time is passing by slowly, you’re lost in his pools of melted chocolate-like irises. He never once, looked away. He’s telling the truth. 

“We’re due to be back now!” Looking back, you see Timo. He’s about 15 feet away, but he’s walking towards both Nico and you. 

“I’ll handle it. Consider it handled.” You look away. A burning sensation hits the back of your eye sockets. You feel like crying but you won’t let the tears fall.

Once Timo reaches you he wraps his arms around you and the President’s shoulders. 

“The band is back together!”

One hour. One hour is how much time you had given Gwen to find anything and everything about Vanessa Wyatt and boy did she find something. 

Gwen walks beside you, to your left. The pace you’ve set is fast, it wasn’t like you had all day. You had a firm to run and a man’s destiny in your hands. Vanessa Wyatt was just a fork in the road. You had a plan and with enough convincing, she’d end up on a bus to Wisconsin in the morning.

“You’re acting as my witness. Just shut up and listen to what I say. Do not engage with her.” Both you and Gwen had been following Vanessa around Easy Potomac Park for approximately seven minutes. You took immediate notice that she was accompanied by her dog, a golden retriever. Gwen had whispered something about it being adorable, to you it was an amazing conversation starter, a way to get in, and a vulnerability point for Vanessa. 

Vanessa’s quick to take a seat on a bench, overlooking the Potomac River. You waste no time to walk up to her and Gwen follows suit. “What a cute dog! Golden Retriever?” 

Vanessa takes the bait like a fish dumb enough to take a worm that’s on a fish hook. You’ve already got her right where you want her and you’ve only spoken six words. 

“Yeah haha! His name is Thomas Jefferson, like the President, it’s lame I know! But it suits him surprisingly.” The thought of how naive she is crosses your mind. Was she like that with Nico? You take a seat next to her before carrying on the conversation.

“Vanessa, it would be a mistake to think that there will be no consequences to you telling lies about the President.” Her face falls almost immediately. Gwen gives you a look. Almost like she was surprised herself, she was least expecting you to mention the so-called “affair” this early on in the conversation. To your dismay, Vanessa doesn’t make an effort to start running away yet. Stupid girl. Rather instead she questions you. 

“I never told you my name. Who are you?” She finally turns to get a good look at you. Vanessa notices the pale, off-white pantsuit that’s on your body. It fits you to a tee. 

“My name is Y/N.” You pause for a brief moment then continue your lecture to the younger girl, “And I want to make it clear that I’m not here in an official capacity. I’m here because I’m a

concerned citizen.” Vanessa looks away, tears threatening to fall on her plump, pinky cheeks. She isn’t wearing anything to keep her warm besides a thin coat. 

She mutters another question. “What do you want?” 

Your response leaves your mouth rapidly. “I came to warn you. A girl like you can’t win something like this. In, employment your face will be everywhere. And by everywhere I mean tabloids, newspapers, social media, local news. People are going to associate you with a sex scandal. All kinds of information about you will become available to the press in a heartbeat. For example, the 22 sexual partners you’ve had? What about that case of gonorrhea? Oh and let’s not forget your mothers two year stay at Bedford Hospital.” Everything you say comes out nonchalantly. You pause and take a look at the younger brunette, waiting for a response but she says nothing. You take it as a sign to continue. 

“That’s what I thought. It’s information like that, that could ruin everything for you.” Both you and Gwen take notice of Vanessa. The tears that were threatening to fall, are now halfway down her cheeks. Gwen’s heart breaks for the girl but deep down knows it’s for the best. You, however, could care less. Situations like this, never end up good for the woman involved. 

“He said he loved me. He gave me this dog.” Vanessa manages to utter while shaking her head. Her world feels like it’s falling apart and you stand at the altar watching it happen. 

“You see, it’s lies like those that could hurt you when said to other people. People not as nice as me. Here let me give you some advice, hand in your resignation, pack a bag and your dog, get out of this town, maybe in Wisconsin, and start over. Never look back.” 

You’ve managed to move closer to Vanessa. It’s not a lot but you’re still testing the waters. If you were to ask Gwen, she’s still surprised that Vanessa’s still sitting there. Personally, Gwen would have fled a long time ago. The younger brunette to your right, takes a deep sigh and begs, “Why are you doing this to me?” I’m a good person!” You get the urge to laugh in her face. It doesn’t matter if you’re nice or not, people love to ruin people. She should’ve known this by now. A girl this naive should not be in a town like this.

“You want to know who was also a good person?” You question her and continue, “Monica Lewinsky. And she was telling the truth. But she still got destroyed.” You say it casually and Vanessa doesn’t appreciate it, in the next millisecond, she grabs her dog’s leash and hurries away. Gwen is still standing, she’s shocked, to say the least. 

Turning to Gwen, you start to state, “If you get subpoenaed in front of a grand jury, you can testify as an officer of the court that I was working on my own. I didn’t blackmail or threaten her. If you don’t get subpoenaed, then this never happened.” You walk in the other direction from Vanessa. Gwen takes a moment to follow suit and once you hear Gwen’s footsteps, you take your cell phone out of your coat pocket to dial. 

“It’s handled.”

You are typing away on your keyboard, answering some emails when the doors to your office fly open. It’s Blair and she’s rushing in. You can tell her her brain is going 100 miles per hour when she cheers, “Paige is a whore! She’s a whore!” You shake your head and smile in return, expecting her to say more, and that she does. 

“I had Kurt hack into her message log and she had HUNDREDS and I mean HUNDREDS of text messages with this guy named Tom Henderson. And I know what you’re going to say ‘Go interview him then’ We’ll that’s what I did while you were gone doing god knows what!” She’s starting to get off track but you don’t mind. Blair was a chatterbox at heart. 

“Good news is that Tom spilled his guts the minute I went to ask questions, but he has an air-tight alibi. He was working as a bouncer at a club at the time of the murder. There has got to be like 100 witnesses.” You nod your head and before you can tell Blair anything she continues, again. 

“Oh my god! How could I forget?! Henderson claims that Sully knew that he was sleeping with  his girlfriend.” With that, you waste no time to get out of your chair, and before you can even take a step Neil comes strutting into the room. 

“Even worse news, the gun found in the murder has Sully’s fingerprints all over it. It gives him means.” A small “fuck!” leaves your mouth and you dash towards the double doors that connect your office and another. Pushing open the door, you waste no time to start interrogating Sully. 

“Did you know Paige was sleeping with Tom Henderson?!” You point your finger at him like a mom scolding her child. Sully replies stupidly, “What?”

“Did. You. Know?” Accentuating every word in the question causes Sully to get irritated.

“I hired you! You can’t come in here and talk-” Sully’s cut off by Neil almost immediately. You let him overpower the situation by walking away. Your mind is running, trying to think what the possibilities could be.

“Yes, she can! She can do whatever the hell she wants! Without her, you would be in jail right now!” Things are starting to escalate quickly between you three. Blair is just observing what’s happening. You decided to ask one more time even though you hate repeating yourself. 

“Did you know Paige was sleeping with Tom?” The tone that you ask him is softer, things are starting to get real and if you don’t get to the bottom of this, Sully could be going to jail for 20 years to life.

Sully answers your question, “Yes, but I didn’t kill her!” Your mind shuts everything out once he answers your question. Neil and Blair start conducting a plan that you have no care for right now. Deciding to walk away from all the chaos, you manage to bump into the one person you least expect. Vanessa, with Gwen following behind. 

“Oh, what the hell!”

“I want you to give him a message!” You stare Gwen down, scolding her with your eyes for even letting Vanessa in, in the first place. 

“That is not appropriate.” You take ahold of Vanessa’s upper left bicep, Gwen the other, and quickly guide her out of the firm. She tries to go with a fight but your grip doesn’t let her escape. You open the front door to the firm, giving Vanessa access to leave but she makes it clear that you hear what she has to say. “Not appropriate? You came to me and I know he sent you! I know you can give him a message! I’m telling the truth! I am!” 

“This conversation is over. Please leave.”

You’re barely coming down with your high from the previous chaos when David Rosen, the US attorney general walks into your building. 

“Times up, Y/N. I have a warrant.” He’s holding up white papers, stapled together. He’s here to take Sully into custody but luckily for you, David arrived earlier than expected. 

“I still have 40 minutes.” You bark at David, taking a look at your watch. Turning your back to him, you reach the conference doors.

“You can wait in the lobby by all means.” You suggest to David. Maybe he’ll listen to you once and for all. 

“Fine, but in 40 minutes I want Sully St. James in custody.” He huffs out. 

Meanwhile, you try to find Gwen. Once you see her in the conference room you have her call Blair, to let her know that you’ve officially been invaded and time is running out to find Sully a viable alibi. 

Blair, Neil, and Kurt walk through the front doors exactly 7 minutes before David is supposed to be arrested. Blair comes in hot, Neil and Kurt trailing behind her. She’s holding a flash drive and gives you a rundown of what that flash drive material contains. You take no longer than 3 seconds to head your way to the conference room where Sully St. James is currently seated. You tread the water lightly, not wanting to anger him when approaching the situation. 

“We don’t have much time, Sully,” you start with, “the police are here so I need you to listen.” Blair, Kurt, Neil, and Gwen slowly enter the room with you. Most of the time, when debriefing with a client, there’s always someone else with you. In this case, all of them. 

“We were able to verify your alibi.” Sully’s reaction doesn’t surprise you. Confusion shadows over his face. Almost like he didn’t even know how or who verified his alibi. 

“You were?” He looks around the room after he questions you. All eyes are on him and everyone can tell that he’s realizing that his secret is no secret anymore. You nod in response to his question. 

“That’s.. that’s a good thing, right?” He’s playing dumb and you’re catching along. You open your mouth to start a lecture. 

“Sully, you’re the most decorated hero since the Vietnam War, you come from a family of well-respected soldiers, you make your living giving speeches for the conservative right, and you’ve said over and over, that Paige was your best friend. Not your lover.” Your eyes never leave him during the duration of your speech, but when they do you signal Blair to turn on the TV and plug the flash drive into it. Once she does, a video starts to play. It’s from a security camera at an ATM, that so happened to be next to the bar Sully had been seen at before the murder. In the video, Sully St. James is seen standing on the sidewalk, hands in his pockets, pacing. He’s waiting for someone. Just on cue, a man in his mid to late 20s is seen approaching Sully. Once he gets his hands on Sully, he kisses him with passion. Almost like lovers who are reuniting for the first time after months of being apart. The room is silent up until the video shows the two grown men kissing. Sully’s breath starts to pick up, he’s infuriated. 

“Paige knew, didn’t she?” You already knew the answer to that but still needed the clarification. You were never one to go based on assumptions. Sully doesn’t respond so you continue, “She knew you were gay, the two of you had a deal.” Sully speaks up for the first time in 3 minutes. 

“You can’t show anyone that.” Disregarding what he said, you ask, “I need the name of the man that you were kissing.”

“Over my dead body! I serve my country. I honor the uniform! I am a conservative man. Everything I stand for is anti-gay. I am the deacon of my church! They’re talking about me running for Congress one day. I’m a hero. I can’t be gay.” His demeanor starts off hostile but then shuts down and he manages to whisper the last remark. 

“But you are. This is who you are.” You point to the TV which had been paused at a time frame where Sully and his secret lover were engaged in a kiss. “This is your alibi. Let us help you.” You walk over to the couch that Sully is seated at and crouch next to him. You and Sully are the only two who have spoken a word so far. Everyone else is watching the scene unfold in front of their eyes. 

Sully stands up straight and looks ahead of him. With one small word, he answers you. 

“No.” You stand, but before you can mutter a word he turns around and heads out the conference room doors. You don’t pay attention as to whether everyone follows you but you follow Sully out. Demanding him to wait but to no avail, he doesn’t listen. Once he opens the firm’s front doors, he is met with David Rosen. 

The bright ceiling lights are the cause of the forming headache across your temples. To say that everything that happened in the past 28 hours is ridiculous would be an understatement. Neil and Blair are at the police station with you. By the time Sully St. James had his mugshot taken, you got a text message from Gwen. You managed to mutter an ‘I have to go’ and frantically left. Having left instructions for Neil and Blair just in case anything happened with Sully. 

Being told, by Gwen, that Vanessa Wyatt was in the hospital and she was going to see her was just the cherry on top. You wasted no time to get there as fast as you could. It was 7 pm by the time you entered the hospital door, exhaustion hitting you like a ton of bricks. Getting into bed sounds much better than having sex. 

Gwen is standing outside of Vanessa’s hospital room when you get there. You greet her then immediately ask, “What happened?” You take a look at Gwen and she genuinely seems worried for the girl who’s in the hospital bed, clearly sedated. 

Gwen explains, “She slashed her wrists. There’s no press lurking around but one of the nurses told me her dad’s flying in from Michigan.” 

You double-check with Gwen, just to make sure that there is no possible threat. “No nurses or doctors, about anything?” Gwen shakes her head, her ponytail moving along with her head, and responds shortly. 

“Just to me.”

“Good stay with her.” You turn to leave, regretting to have even come in the first place. A simple phone call would have been fine. Before you take a step Gwen takes ahold of your upper arm and blurted your name. 

“Y/N! You told me to trust my gut when I first got hired, and now my gut is telling me that she is telling the truth-” You cut off Gwen to share what you think. 

“She’s not.” You keep it short and sweet. Nico told you that he didn’t do it and you believe him. Your heart believes him. He said he loved you and you were the only girl he’s ever loved. 

“I know the President, Gwen. He wouldn’t do this.” You’re starting to become stern since Gwen is being persistent about something that could never, ever possibly be true. 

“I just find it weird that she was going on and on about how there’s this secret room off the Oval Office where they’ve met, and I’ve read about the White House. There is a little room.”

You waste no time to state the obvious. “If you read it, she read it. People are crazy Gwen. They love to get fixated on famous people and stalk them.” 

“But I don’t think she’s crazy.” If you didn’t have any love for Gwen you probably would’ve smacked her for continuing to run her mouth. Since you do care for her deeply, you demand her to tell you why she thinks that. “Why?”

“Okay, she tried to take her life but she didn’t want to die. She called you right after she did it because she wanted him to find out she was hurt and come see her. She thought he would do that.” Gwen rambles everything out in one go as if she’s already rehearsed this conversation in her head. 

“Gwen-”

“She was going on and on about how she thought he’d come to see her and call her some stupid little German word.” You start to doze off but your ears perk up like a dog that hears a siren from a mile away when she mentions the word German. 

“What?” 

Gwen’s face scrunches up and tilts her head to the side at your remark. She’s questioning you and doesn’t even need to open her mouth. 

“Repeat yourself.” You try to tell yourself that you heard something completely different. How pathetic. 

“Oh! He’d call her a German word, she said it means treasure or something. Why does it ma-” You cancel out the rest of Gwen’s sentence and scurry away. Your legs start working independently and lead you down the hospital corridor. Gwen calls out your name in response, but you pay no mind to it. The pit in your stomach is probably the size of a football and it doesn’t help that bile is rising in your throat and everything feels hazy. Betrayal wasn’t something new to you but coming from someone who expected the same loyalty from you was gutwrenching.

Sometimes you think it’s crazy how much authority you still have in the White House because you simply do not work there anymore. Nonetheless, it comes in handy, in instances like these. Rose, the President’s Secretary, leads you the way into the Oval Office in a matter of seconds. It didn’t take much convincing, just a quick “It’s an emergency”. Once Rose opens the first of 3 doors that connect the Oval Office to the White House, you step inside. Walking up to the set of couches that sit in the middle of the room, to set your purse down, you notice Nico isn’t at his desk. Matter of fact he isn’t anywhere in the room. With that, you question Rose about Nico’s whereabouts.

“Where is he?” You expect her to go into detail, whether it’s a meeting or at dinner with Nellie. But Rose never does. Instead, she gives a simple answer. 

“It’ll just be a moment.” With that, Rose walks out and shuts the door behind her. 

It doesn’t take long for Nico to come walking through the door, Timo trailing right behind, but when he does, you notice his attire. He’s wearing a bowtie. Which only means he has something important going on. 

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Disregarding his question, you plea to him with your eyes. He notices the quiver of your lip and how tears threaten to leave your eyes. Nico senses something is up. 

“We’re gonna need the room, please.” He demands Timo. Nico’s eyes never leave yours. Almost as if there is a magnetic pull to the two of you. Timo stands there dumbfoundedly and questions the President. 

“But, Nico you have to give that toast to the President of Mexico in 10 minutes. Maybe this could wait until after?” Nico’s eyes finally leave yours. He turns to Timo and repeats himself. 

“I said we need the room,” Nico demands almost instantly. That being so, Timo lowers his head, and his hand reaches to the door handle so he can close the door behind him. Once Nico hears the click of the door shutting fully closed he whispers your name. You take no time to finally repeat the word you know Gwen was talking about. 

“Schatzli, huh?” The word rolls off your tongue as if it’s venom. It makes you want to curl up into a ball and never be seen again. Nico turns to you and you repeat the word of endorsement like it’s a chant. You’re angry and Nico knows it. With that, Nico points up ahead. There sits a security camera that overlooks the majority of the room. Watching your every move. Nico knows he can’t have a conversation about Vanessa knowing he’s being recorded. Good thing he was a smart man. During the first week after his inauguration, he managed to find out that the camera doesn’t record past his desk. So the pair of you had rendezvous against the large crystalline window that overlooks Nellie’s garden and a patio. Countless times. 

Nico guides you to stand in front of the window with a simple, “Come here.” To that, you obey. As to why? You don’t even know the answer to that considering all you see is rage. You reach him, keeping your distance but still out of the security camera’s view. Disgust and humiliation still sits on your face, never intended to leave soon. 

Nico is the first to speak amongst you two. “You left me.” He can’t even look you in the eye when he finally admits the truth. A man who lies is always a coward. 

“Because you are married! You said you wanted to dedicate yourself to your marriage! I wanted you to be a better man and be the man that I campaigned for-” Nico cuts you off by slowly taking steps towards you. You don’t need to be a genius to know what he’s doing. 

“Do not touch me.” You planned for it to come out stern but ended up sounding like a hurt duckling. But that you were. The look in Nico’s eye confirms that he was not listening to you. Instead of him pleading for you to hear him out, he steps even closer. Once he reaches you, his hands rest upon your hips. His body aching to make contact with yours. Your body is pressed up against the large window with another step. Nico’s eyes stare down at you, faces only mere inches apart. The pair of you already know where the next thing leads to but you’re not letting him go that easily.

Before his lips can make contact with yours, you push at his chest to get him off of you. Putting all force you can conjure into the shove. You turn around and before you can think your right hand makes contact with his left cheek with a hard smack!

“I believed you! You clouded my judgment! I wanted to believe you because I love you and THIS is what you do to me? She tried to kill herself! Did you know she’s lying in a hospital bed because she slashed her wrists open? I destroyed that girl-” Everything happens too fast and you can’t even see through the tears that started falling just moments ago. Nico finally dared to walk up to you and kiss you. His right hand has ahold of the back of your neck. While the other is on your upper arm, keeping you in place. It takes less than a second for you to come to terms with what’s happening. As mad as you are at Nico, you couldn’t help but feel the need to return the kiss. Your internal dialogue screams at you to stop. To step away and never talk to him again. 

The kiss is slow and passionate, Nico doesn’t want to rush into anything further because he knows you won’t hesitate to take a step back and slap him again. You had the balls no one ever did. Before Nico can gain access to your mouth with his tongue, one of the doors is swung open. 

“I just want to let you know that we can hear you yelling.” By the time Timo shuts the door, Nico and you have created a small fragment of distance away from each other. The satin pinky nude lipstick you wore, transferred onto Nico’s lips. Your hair is a bit disheveled and the pair of you are out of breath. Timo was a smart man so it didn’t take much for him to recognize what was happening behind closed doors. Timo clears his throat before he speaks. 

“Mr. President, I recommended you go wash up.” Timo puts his hands in his pockets and refuses to look you in the eye. 

“Timo-”

“No. You have lipstick on your mouth. You have a toast to give. Go. Now.” With that, Nico obeys and leaves the room, not even looking back towards you. Timo and you bask in a moment of silence. You stand there like a doe who has yet to learn how to walk. The feeling of embarrassment is an understatement to say at least. In times like these, where Timo puts his foot down, it makes you feel like a child being scolded for writing on the wall with markers. 

Timo walks up to the President’s desk and admires the picture he has of the three of you. It was the day of Nico’s inauguration, the picture was taken right after Nico’s speech. Timo wishes things could go back to the way they were. 

“Oh mein gott,” Timo mutters under his breath. After the past two years of knowing Timo, you’d expect that he knew about the affair. 

“You didn’t know? He tells you everything.” You scoff. Nico and Timo are close. Like brothers, who manage to piss each other off all day every day but that doesn’t get in the way of Nico telling Timo every personal detail that goes on in his life. 

“He didn’t tell me this.” He shakes his head and looks down at his feet. 

You wipe a tear that cascades down your left cheek and  quickly mutter, “Because it didn’t matter.” In disbelief, you walk towards the couch, reaching for your purse. Feeling the sudden need to get out of the one place you do not wish to be at. Timo tries to grab at your wrist, tries to talk you into staying but you’re too fast enough for him to get a good grip. Once you reach the door, you adjust your purse and push the straps up against your shoulder blade. You take a deep breath, fighting the urge to stay. Alas, your right hand makes contact with the gold door knob and you twist and push the door open. With every last bit of courage you have, you step out of the Oval Office with your head up high. You’ve got a man to get out of jail.

[worstgenerationloser]

Hey could you write a sanji reader angst where reader is a member of the crew and kind of has a thing going on with sanji but he keeps fauning over nami and all other ladies but tends to prioritize nami more than her. You can make it long and end it however you want

,, Forevermore. ''

Sanji x GN! Reader. (angst)

(no franky or brook mention.... im sorry.)

You knew Sanji was a "gentleman" more like a creepily overbearing flirt , but you weren't sure how he managed to—

"Nami-Swaaan!"

You allowed a simple frown to etch itself onto your lips, hearing your... Situationship? Yell out Nami's name the way he always did. Being on a pirate ship with the reason for your emotional state being such a wreck definitely wasn't good for the soul, but, before Sanji, you were there for Luffy, and there was no way in hell you would leave because of your silly, probably unrequited crush. You gazed down at the calm waves, pondering things, and it wasn't like you were just jealous he didn't give a damn about you, I mean, he kind of did? You could tell by the way he would find you after preparing dinner for the crew, offering that sweet smile, staring into your eyes and savoring every moment spent with you under the cover of the setting sun, even if the place he found you was your bedroom.

Sanji wasn't always fawning over Nami, whenever she would pop out in a new outfit, he would relentlessly compliment her, sure, but after his initial excitement fizzed out, he would calmly admire her without an utterance of ridiculous nonsense. You glanced behind you, Robin was reading a book, per usual, but she seemed to have gotten a new outfit. Sanji coincidentally was on deck, eyes turning into hearts as he placed his hands over his cheek.

You tuned out the rest of Sanji's rant, because you definitely did not want to hear it. You scurried below deck, wanting to sulk bask in the darkness, but you felt a little tired, so you ended up accidentally falling asleep... Whoopsies. An hour or two passed, and you were awoken by shouting, and a pair of hands popped up on your back, pushing you out of your little spot between the various boxes. You laid there for a moment, blinking as you looked up at Robin, who offered a gentle smile. Although Nami and Robin seemed to catch his eye, you couldn't be mad at Robin or Nami simply because Sanji was an indecisive bastar—

"Y/N, what were you doing down here? We've docked at a new island, and there seems to be a large town nearby. Would you prefer to stay on the ship?"

You stood up, dusting yourself off as you adjusted your eyes, spots flurrying around your vision. "Uh, yeah, I'm going to go explore... Are we gonna be in groups or something?" You murmured sleepily, allowing Robin to smile brightly at you. You paused, clearly reminded that Luffy would be the first one off the ship, and Nami would hop off the ship as soon as she caught sight of a store, then that meant... Sanji would probably be with Nami right now.

"Well, Sanji and Nami already got off the ship—"

You shrunk into yourself.

"But, I'm staying on board. Zoro seems like he wants to explore, and Luffy is actually waiting for you." Robin spoke, walking away, heading to the upper deck, you assumed. You questioned why Luffy was waiting for you...

But, it was probably because he was worried that you had been gone for awhile.

You walked to the upper deck, shielding yourself from the light, before Luffy shot towards you, wrapping his stretched out arms around you. Still, there was an undeniable pit in your stomach knowing Sanji and Nami were off together— And though you knew Nami definitely did not think of Sanji that way, she was a beautiful woman, and Sanji had been fawning over her since way long before you joined, considering you joined after Robin and you heard Sanji was the fourth to join your captain's crew, Nami being the second, technically.

"Y/N! Yahoo! We can explore now!" Luffy snickered, slapping you and Zoro on the back, stretching out his arms as he stepped back, confusing you for a second, before you seemed to realize what he was doing.

"Hey, wait— LUFFY!"

Before you knew it, you were shooting into the sky.

A while later, you shot up, eyes wide, you fell, but you weren't sure what seemed to cushion your fall... Surely you woukd have been halfway dead after smashing against one too many trees while you and Zoro were in your captains arms. You looked around, the ground seemed warm under you, and you noticed your bubbly captain giggling and looking at you. There was Luffy— Now where was Zoro?

You felt the ground beneath you shake, and you heard a... Cough? You looked down, and your eyes were met with Zoro's own.

"Get off me!"

"Ehe, sorry..." You nervously rubbed the back of your head, standing up off of Zoro's chest, heart beating a little bit too fast. Zoro seemed a little embarrassed, too, but he didn't seem like he wanted to say anything. Luffy rocked back and forth, unsure of what direction to pull you two off into at the moment.

"Let's go this way!"

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

After an unnecessarily long day, you were looking forward to spending time alone, so much so that you just so happened to skip dinner, making Sanji worry after he realized you were nowhere to be found. He carefully grabbed the plate he had prepared for you, opening the door to your quarters with a gentle creak , blinking a few times as his eyes locked on you, the scent of the curry he had made permeated the air.

"Y/N? Are you feeling unwell? You haven't come out for dinner." He cleared his throat, an unlit cigarette hanging from his lips. You were tired, but you weren't tired of him, no matter how much you wanted to be. You shook your head "no" swallowing the pooling saliva in your mouth. Your eyes locked with his, and a familiar warmth crept onto your face, tightening your chest.

"Ah, well, I brought your plate... Will you eat, please?" Sanji paused, catching himself asking you to eat as he held out your plate. He internally cursed himself, the air seemed a little tense, and he felt worry take him over, considering that you especially seemed to enjoy his meals, not leaving a single grain of rice on your plate, nor a scrap of meat, not even a smear of sauce would be left behind, and this was the first time you didn't rush to get a plate.

An awkward silence overtook the room.

"I—"

"Can we talk?"

Your voice rang over his. You weren't sure if you were possessed or what, but you really needed to talk to Sanji in this moment. It was eating away at you, the way he would gush about Nami and Robin, his nose would bleed with one glance towards Nami's way, he would call Nami lovey dovey nicknames, it was all just Nami. Sanji swallowed harshly, his eyes sparkling in the dim light.

"But of course, Y/N."

You inhaled shakily, the words caught up in your throat. For a moment, you mouth open and closed like a fish, before you let out a frustrated groan, hands washing over your face. "I wanna talk about us. Me and you, Sanji." There it was, those words that would grant you a blessing, or a curse. Sanji's heart froze, and the cigarette fell from his mouth onto the floor, he felt like a fish out of water. Of course, he was no fool, he was a romantic at heart, even if he went about it in... Different ways, he knew that you wanted discuss this thing you two had going on, the relationship that neither of you could define with a label like "lovers" or "close friends" , because, to be frank, neither of you had initiated any talk about your feelings for eachother outside of the moments themselves, and even then, your actions spoke instead of words.

"Ah, I see... What is it you would like to discuss...?" Sanji set your plate down on your bedside table, his hands slightly shakier than they should've been. You shot him a slight glare, crossing your arms over your chest as you sighed, a few butterflies emerging from their cocoons inside of your stomach. You gazed at his blue eyes, swallowing your screams that wished to be heard by Sanji, you had more class than that, you hoped. Sanji took a seat next to you on your bed, your knees bumping together, making a blush spread over his face.

"...The kiss."

Sanji choked on his breath, immediately breaking out into a coughing fit, probably caused by his constant smoking, but you were concerned nonetheless, placing a gentle hand on his back, making his face redden as he seemed to cough a little less.

"I— Uhm, th-the kiss, you say?"

"The kiss, Sanji."

Your mind went back to that tender moment, which you seemed to have forgotten during your previous sulking in the day, if you recalled, while you were thinking about your grievances about Sanji, you were interrupted by the man himself, obnoxiously calling out Nami's name. What was it you were thinking, again? Ah, you weren't sure how he managed to act like his normal self as if the night before he hadn't held your face so tenderly, pressing his soft lips to your own lips, sparking many a new feelings inside your very soul.

That night you thought forgotten, Sanji had been nursing his drink, but you were completely sober, making sure the crew wouldn't destroy the ship or that somebody wouldn't attack you while you were anchored, but things seemed a little... Different. Maybe it was the way his chats with you had a little more eye contact than usual, the way his eyes seemed to travel to your lips more than once, the way he would make drunken excuses to touch your hands, how he was practically breathing in your breath when he asked you to dance with him, eyes seeming droopy and relaxed.

Your lips collided under the blanket of stars, it felt so heartbreakingly romantic, but you paid no mind to the revelation , your head tilting to the side to deepen your kiss, fingers entangling themselves into his blond hair, taking in the taste of his cigarette-flavored lips, knowing the next day you would feel fucking crazy, but in the moment you felt as if you were truly lovers, loving eachother so openly, wondering when he would ask you to be his.

...Back to the present before you go insane from that flashback, your face heated up, looking up at Sanji, before settling on looking down at your knees.

"Let me get to the point, why are you still fawning over Nami and Robin so openly? If you weren't drunk enough to forget the kiss, then why are you acting like that still? Sanji, we shared a kiss. A kiss is very intimate, you proclaim yourself to be some romantic, but can't you see how bad I have it for you? I wouldn't have kissed you if I did, but if you're playing me, tell me so it can be over already."

You breathed out as the words left your lips, you really hoped you didn't ramble on for far too long.

"Y/N, I— Bu- Wh..." Sanji groaned, lightly hitting himself on the head, he hardly ever stammered, and it was improper doing so like this.

"I thought you kissed me just to entertain me. I thought you were toying with me. I never assumed that you would actually have feelings for me, people already hardly show any interest in me, so I never assumed somebody like you would entertain me. I saw my chance and took it, even if it was just a kiss." Sanji bumbled, sucking his teeth as his brows furrowed, looking over at you, although you failed to meet his gaze. There he was, assuming things again, somebody like you wouldn't dare to entertain him, wouldn't dare to love him, to get to know him, to be with him.

"That's bullshit. Why would you think to gush over somebody else after kissing somebody? Other than the kiss, it feels like you're sending me mixed signals, Sanji. What am I supposed to do with somebody who can't be straightforward with me? I wasn't even sure if you were interested in me that way, so I didn't want to ruin what we had." You sighed, biting the inside of your cheek, blankly staring down at your feet, hoping your tight chest wouldn't let tears well up once more.

"I'm telling you now, Y/N. I'm in love with you. I'm a complete and utter fool for you, I may be obnoxious and a little odd at times towards women and whatnot, but I simply respect you too much to do the same for you. For a long while, you were like an unobtainable treasure for me, I thought I could spend the rest of my life chasing after you aslong as it meant we would still be together in some form, I'm normally upfront about my attraction towards others, but... You make me feel an entirely different way."

You looked up at Sanji, although a little jumbled together, his words seemed to reach your heart. You locked eyes, it seemed too special, too romantic for Sanji to handle, and he was hoping you would still allow him the privilege of being yours.

"Y/N. Please, I will do anything to atone for my mistakes, please allow me to call myself your lover, I will never belong to another, I will never entertain another person's advances aslong as you will remain the one for me." Sanji spoke as if he were ready to snap himself in two for you, and although you were still bitter about him giving attention to your female crewmates, you thought about it...

"Promise me, Sanji. Promise that you'll never look anothers way. I'll be yours, and you'll be mine, if you can make that one simple promise."

"Cross my heart, and I hope to die. I promise you that my eyes will be locked onto you forevermore. My love, please, let us be together for the rest of our years."

END.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

hi... sorry this was so short omg

[megalony]

Falling For Me

This is an Evan Buckley imagine, requested by Anon. I enjoyed writing this one, I hope you all like it. Feedback and requests are always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@noonenuts@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @topguncultleader @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989

911 Masterlist

Summary: When the team are called out to a mugging scene, they get more than they bargained for when they find (Y/n). Eddie's little sister. Evan's crush.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Is that your girl?"

Evan lifted his eyes from his phone and looked across at Hen who was wiggling her brows and curving her lips into a wide grin. She pursed her lips and tilted her head, pretending to blow kisses his way until Evan was smothering a smile and shaking his head. He looked down at his phone and quickly shoved it back in his pocket before any of them could lean over and see who he was messaging.

"Nope."

"Hm,"

"You holding out on us, Buck?" Eddie nudged Evan's shoulder as the truck started moving and they all got comfy in their seats.

"No, no one special in my life." He was speaking the truth. Mostly. Evan wasn't in a relationship, but that didn't mean he didn't have his eye on someone he thought of as special.

He just so happened to know Eddie's little sister rather well and he thought she was amazing. But she was Eddie's sister and that meant Evan had to tread very carefully. He couldn't try anything or push the bouondaries and ruin the friendship he had with both (Y/n) and Eddie if she didn't see him in that way.

And she hadn't technically messaged him right now either. He had sent her a message earlier but hadn't heard anything back. He just wanted to check his phone since their third call out of the day was now finished, but she hadn't gotten back to him yet.

"Yeah, sure so you-" Chimney cut himself off and looked around the truck as if a sign from God had just dawned upon them when a call came through the radio from dispatch.

"Dispatch to one-eighteen. We have a scene on the corner of Park Street, attempted mugging with two casualties. Please respond."

"One-eighteen, on our way."

A chorus of groans flooded the air of the truck as everyone grabbed their headsets and put them on as the siren started to blast out again. It looked like they were no longer heading back to the station to have dinner, they would be going on another call out. Evan's shift was now extending, he was planning to have lunch with the team and go home for a long power nap. Guess not anymore.

"Do you think we'll get to make an arrest?" Evan looked out the window as the truck made a sharp right turn and sent them all squishing into each other like sardines in a tin.

They had gone to a scene before when Hen was acting Captain and she got to make an arrest while they waited for the police to turn up and apprehend the man. If this was a mugging scene and the mugger was still there, maybe they would get to arrest him as well as patch him up and wait for assistance.

"I think the police will be on their way, Buck." Bobby leaned behind him to pat Evan's shoulder.

If they were being redirected it was because they were the closest scene and they would be able to provide medical assistance quicker than sending an ambulance out. And dispatch would have to notify the police about an attack so chances were a police car would be on their way to the scene as well.

"Eddie, Hen, get a med bag each. Let's see what we've got."

Everyone climbed down from the truck and went to grab their gear and Evan followed after Bobby, trailing away from the truck to see what was going on. They could hear shouting from the moment they climbed down from the truck and there seemed to be a gathering of people hanging around.

"LAFD, make room. Can someone tell me what's happened here?" Bobby rose his voice to the crowd of five or six people gathering in a huddle near an alley. He glanced his eyes around everyone to try and see what had happened, he couldn't work out where the casualties were and dispatch said two people had been injured and needed help.

"That bitch stabbed me-"

"He attacked that girl and she stopped him getting away."

A sigh passed through Bobby's lips as he planted his hands on his hips and looked at the man who was laid on the floor. He was cradling his left thigh where a puddle of blood was trailing down his leg and dripping onto the pavement beneath him. He had a frantic look in his eyes, black gloves on his hands matching his hoodie and jeans and he had a cloth around his neck that Bobby guessed someone had pulled down to see his face.

Bobby made his way to kneel beside the attacker and silently pointed at Evan to go see where the other casualty was.

Evan had his words all formed in his head. 'Miss, it's the LAFD. Can I check you over? Are you hurt?' But he didn't get to say any of them when he moved towards the alley and caught sight of the girl in question. She was curled up on the floor, leaning against the wall at the very edge of the alley. Her body was slumped to the left, knees curled awkwardly beneath her and her arms were coiled tightly to her chest as she slowly rocked herself back and forth.

Tears drenched her face and sobs and bubbling gasps broke free from her trembling lips. But when Evan caught sight of her face, his blood ran cold and he couldn't breathe.

Oh God no.

"(Y/n)? (Y/n) it's me, it's Evan." He dropped down to his knees in front of her and held his hands out in front of him to show her he wasn't going to hurt her. He was safe. He wanted to help. "Can I-"

"Evan!" His name croaked past her lips like he was some sort of miracle or epiphany that (Y/n) had wished for.

Her trembling body pushed forward onto her knees and she thrust herself into Evan's chest before he could ask if he could help her. His arms froze in mid-air before he snapped himself back into action and slowly coiled his large frame around her like a safety blanket.

He gently smoothed his hand up and down her back, tensing when he felt her hands slip beneath his florescent jacket and her nails scratched into his shirt like sharp metal nails. Someone had tried to attack her. Someone had hurt her, here, in broad daylight. Someone had attacked Eddie's little sister, the girl Evan was sweet on.

"Buck, what we got?" Eddie slung the medic bag on his shoulder and trudged over to Evan while Chimney and Hen went to sort out the man Bobby was trying to calm down. He could hear the man shouting and cursing from over here and it made Eddie cringe. It didn't take much to guess that the man was the mugger. Sometimes Eddie didn't like the fact that they also had to look after the people comitting crimes as well as the victims.

He dropped the bag to the floor but when he knelt down beside Evan, Eddie's blood ran cold and he tensed. His jaw locked in place and his chocolate brown eyes glazed over like black holes when he looked at the girl curled up in Evan's arms.

"(Y/n)," Her name fell from his lips in a quiet whisper and he realised he was shaking. His hands were gripping the medic bag, curled around the leather until he was leaving markings in the bag. And Eddie could feel Evan nervously fidgeting beside him, unsure how anyone was going to react.

"Eddie!" (Y/n) could barely see her brother due to the tears streaming down her face and she hiccupped through her breaths.

Her arms uncurled from Evan and she started to sob harder when Eddie almost ripped her out of Evan's arms and into his own embrace.

"No, no what's happened? What the fuck did he do to you?!" Eddie brushed his hand along the back of her neck but when he leaned down to kiss the top of her head, he pulled back quickly. (Y/n) cried out into his chest, flinching down and croaking when he touched the top of her head.

His hands moved to gently cup her face and he tilted her head down so he could assess the top of her head.

Blood was smeared into her hair and trickling down the side of her face near her ear. But what made Eddie frown and caused Evan to lean over for a better look was the tiny shards of green glass they could see meshed in with her curls.

"(Y/n), what happened?" Eddie smoothed his thumb across her tear-stained cheek while his eyes raked over her for any further injuries.

When Eddie gently let her go so he could rummage around in the medic bag, (Y/n) turned to look at Evan in surprise when he shrugged off his florescent jacket and draped it around her shoulders. The action made her chest ignite for different reasons and calmed down her raging, hiccupping breaths.

Without thinking, (Y/n) leaned to the side and tucked herself back into Evan's chest as if that was where she belonged and he didn't object. He swooped his right arm around her waist while his left hand ran up and down her trembling arm to try and keep her calm.

"He… he grabbed me from behind and d-dragged me in the alley. When I wouldn't give him my bag he pushed me down… I- I did what you said,"

Her words caused Eddie to pause and look up at her in panic. What had he told her do to? What advice did he give her as a big brother? Eddie had told all three of his sisters a lot of advice over the years. He was the eldest out of them all and when their dad worked away, Eddie had to help look after them. (Y/n) was the youngest out of them all and Eddie was the closest to her which was why she had moved down to LA with him and Chris.

He had tried to give her a lot of self defense advice and teach her what to do and what not to do in certain situations.

"I had my keys on me so… so I stabbed him, I didn't want him getting away,"

"Bobby, the weapon used on him," Evan gently took (Y/n)'s keychain from her and held it out to Bobby who was stood in the middle, observing the scene as a police car rolled up. The captain nodded and placed the keys in a plastic bag.

(Y/n) remembered Eddie telling her she could use anything as a weapon if she needed to protect herself and keys were a great weapon. They were small to hide in the palm of her hand and they were metal and had jagged edges, perfect to cause a little damage and harm someone enough to make them stop.

She needed the man to get off her and he was thrashing around pinning her down, she didn't know what else to do. (Y/n) found her keys from her pocket and thrust her house key into the man's left thigh. She didn't know where her power came from and she almost threw up when she watched and felt the metal cut through his flesh.

But it stopped him from getting away. She wasn't letting him leave after attacking her.

"What did he do to your head, sweetheart?" The pet name fell past Evan's lips before he could stop himself but he was glad Eddie didn't seem to notice.

"He was screaming at me, before I could move he grabbed a bottle and h-hit me, I-" She broke off, another round of trembling tore through her body as she started to cry.

"He smashed a bottle over your head?!" Eddie tilted his head to look over at the man currently getting an IV in his arm and his trouser leg cut so they could see the extent of his leg wound. "Wait 'til he meets me, I'll shove it up his-" He broke off when he felt Evan jerk his shoulder. (Y/n) was starting to hyperventilate and Eddie going into protective mode wasn't going to help if he was going to start a fight.

"Shh, hey it's alright. You did great," Evan gently unravelled his arm from around her waist and his smile faltered when (Y/n) desperately grabbed at his arm as if she thought he was about to leave. "I'm gonna give you an IV, get rid of the shock."

Evan thought for a moment as he held (Y/n)'s hand that was digging so tightly into his exposed arm that she was starting to draw blood. She was clearly in a big state of shock if she was afraid letting go of him was going to somehow get her hurt.

"Here, hold tight." He gently prized her fingers from his arm and moved her hand to his thigh as he shuffled closer until their knees were touching. She could squeeze, scratch and grip his leg as much as she wanted and he didn't care if she punctured through his trousers into his flesh. As long as she stayed calm.

He looked through the bag and found an IV bag and a needle and he swabbed the crease of (Y/n)'s elbow before gently pushing the needle into her vein. She was in so much shock she barely flinched at the feeling.

Eddie's chest rose and fell rapidly as he tried to stay calm but he couldn't. Someone had chosen to make his sister a victim, tried to hurt her and then whacked her over the head with a bottle that had smashed and cut through her skin. She was lucky she didn't have any mass bleeding and that the glass hadn't reached her skull. He could have given her swelling or cranial damage.

He slid a blood pressure cuff up (Y/n)'s left arm and checked her BP which was rather elevated but her pulse was good.

"Eddie, how is she?" Bobby moved to stand near the, unsure what was happening over here when both members of his team seemed to know this victim. And he didn't like the dark look in Eddie's eyes when he turned to face him.

"That cunt smashed a bottle over my sister's head."

"Ah. This is (Y/n). Can we get her transported? Athena's going to take him down to the hospital in custody before he goes to the station."

"I want to take some of the glass from her head first before we transport. Are you hurt anywhere else?" Eddie wasn't moving her until he had removed as much glass from her wound as he could so there was less for the doctors to do once they took her to hospital.

Whimpering, (Y/n) leaned forward and silently indicated to her back. Her fingers dug into Evan's thigh and her head pressed onto Eddie's shoulder while Evan moved closer. He hummed quietly and moved his jacket back so he could gently lift (Y/n)'s shirt and look to see where she had been hurt.

"Skin's flush and warm, might have a bit of internal bleeding. Let's get the glass out and move her." Evan traced his fingertips over (Y/n)'s left hip, near to where her kidney would be. Her skin was discoloured and very warm, she could have internal bleeding but it didn't look too worrying. She could have a scan once they got to the hospital.

"Okay, this might hurt, try and stay still for me."

Evan's brows rose in surprise when (Y/n)'s hand let go of his thigh so she could clutch onto his hand instead. She reeled his hand into her chest and leaned against his bicep while her head tilted forward so Eddie could look at her head.

Every time her body shuddered and jolted, Evan squeezed her hand and rested his other hand on her knee to try and keep her calm. His lips curled in distaste when Eddie slowly started to pluck shards of glass from her hair with a pair of tweezers. He heard Eddie whisper 'don't move' but as soon as he relieved a large shard, blood trickled down (Y/n)'s forehead and she gurgled through a scream. Her body tremored against Evan and she jolted when Eddie poured a little saline over the wound to clean it and see if there were any more pieces he could remove.

They both counted ten various sized shards of glass that Eddie placed onto a cloth on his knee.

"Let's get you to hospital," Eddie dropped a little more saline onto the three various cuts on his sister's temple before he pressed a patch of gauze over them to try and stop the blood loss and hopefully soak up any smaller shards he hadn't managed to get.

"Up we go,"

The pair held one of (Y/n)'s arms each and slowly eased her up between them, gripping her hands tightly as she started to tremble again.

Adrenaline coursed through (Y/n)'s veins and she could feel her stomach churning and jolting when she was upright. Her feet could barely pick up from the floor, she dragged her feet, scraping them against the pavement as he knees bent and she let the boys guide her towards the truck. Practically dragging her between them.

(Y/n) groaned and suddenly doubled over, snapping her eyes closed as she leaned forward and threw up onto the floor. She felt like she needed to be sick again and get rid of whatever was still in her stomach but all she could do was cough and gasp for each breath as another round of tears started to fall.

Leaning down, Eddie looped his sister's arm around the back of his neck and gripped her waist tightly with his left arm so he could take her weight for her. He let Chimney and Hen climb into the truck first as the mugger was patched up and already in Athena's squad car.

Buck clambered up next and turned round to reach down for (Y/n). He gently but firmly gripped her forearms and hoisted her up the steps as Eddie held her waist and eased her up between them.

"Alright… let's put these on so you don't go deaf, hm?"

A small smile tugged at (Y/n)'s lips when Evan eased her down into a chair and crouched between her thighs like he belonged there. He strapped her in and grabbed a headset, trying to get them over her ears without touching the top of her head. He slipped the band over the back of her head so it was nowhere near the cuts in the centre of her head and squished himself into the seat between (Y/n) and the window as Eddie sat on her left.

They didn't have the ambulance with them on this call out so it was a relief (Y/n) didn't have any nerve damage and that she could walk so they didn't have to radio for an extra ambulance. They could just take her to the hospital in the truck.

"Is this your sister?" Hen looked between (Y/n) and Eddie, already noticing the resemblance and the way Eddie gripped her thigh showed he cared deeply for her. But he couldn't find it in himself to smile when he nodded silently to her question. He didn't want them all to meet like this.

"Chris… I- I have to pick him up," (Y/n) slumped her head back onto Evan's shoulder so she could look up at Eddie.

She was supposed to collect Chris from school since Eddie was on shift today. She couldn't wait around in the emergency room to get checked out when she had to pick her nephew up. There wasn't enough time to find someone else to go and get him.

"I'll get him, don't think I'm leaving you alone like this."

"I could, you know, I could go get him. My shift's technically over, I can take (Y/n) home and get Chris later, you're still on shift." Evan ran his hands up and down his thighs as he looked between (Y/n) and Eddie, smiling at her head resting comfortably on his shoulder.

He was done now, his shift ended after their last call. Instead of Eddie having to cancel his shift and both of them leaving the team short, Evan could look after them both for him. He would stay at the hospital with (Y/n) and take her home and collect Chris later. He loved spending time with both of them and (Y/n) shouldn't be alone right now.

"Are you sure? Is that alright?" Eddie looked from Evan down to his sister because he would stay with her if she asked him to. But her lips curved into a smile and she leaned further into Evan, nudging her nose against his neck while she closed her eyes.

She wanted to go to sleep. She didn't mind who stayed with her as long as she wasn't left alone at the hospital.

"We'll drop you both off here then Buck. Call when you need a lift back," Bobby turned to look in the back of the truck, nodding at them both. This was where they would part ways, at the paramedic entrance to the hospital. They could easily come and pick them up when they were ready since Evan was still in his uniform and his jeep was back at the station.

"Will do."

Eddie kissed his sister's temple, muttering a quiet 'love you' into her skin as his palm pressed into her lower back to help her get up.

Evan jumped down from the truck, leaving his helmet in the back along with his gloves while his jacket was still wrapped around (Y/n). He held his hands up towards her with a dopey grin that made (Y/n) really want to smile, if it weren't for the lightheaded feeling that overtook her.

She could barely feel her feet that skidded against the steps causing the team to gasp as Eddie bolted forward and Hen reached out to grab her arm. But they didn't have to worry when Evan jumped forward and grabbed her before she fell down.

An arm secured around her waist with his palm splayed out on her back and his other arm looped around her thighs just beneath her bum. Evan cocked a grin as he pulled back with (Y/n) in his arms.

"I gotcha." Evan lowered her down a little in his arms but kept hold of her and kept her feet from the floor. Walking in was going to prove long and stressful whereas Evan could just carry her inside to make things easier. "Let's go, sweetheart." He stepped back onto the curb, nodding at the team that he had her safe and sound and he bit back a smile when he felt (Y/n)'s arms loop around his neck and her face tucked into the crook of his neck.

"Thank you,"

***

(Y/n) smiled gratefully at the nurse and took the small white bag of antibiotics from her which she stuffed into her bag.

Two hours. It had taken two hours to get all the glass removed from her head, have one of the cuts glued shut from how deep it was, take a dose of morphine. And then go up for a scan to make sure she had no internal bleeding.

(Y/n) was ready to go home and she was thankful it had timed perfectly for her and Evan to go and collect Chris. Evan didn't have to leave her alone at the hospital to get Chris and then come back for her. He had stayed by her side like a bodyguard. Arms crossed over his chest and a stoic, protective look on his face.

He let (Y/n) dig her nails into his arm that she had already scratched earlier and he had kissed her temple when all the glass was removed.

"You're free to go."

"Thank you," (Y/n) nodded briefly at the nurse before she rummaged around in her bag. "Bobby still has my keys." Evan had given them to Bobby to show what she had attacked her assailant with. The keychain held her house keys and Eddie's keys for when she collected Chris while he was at work.

"I'll get them for you when we get back to the station, hopefully they will be cleaned up." It wouldn't be great to have her keys still caked in blood. Evan doubted that Athena would take the keys into evidence or take them to the hospital. The mugger had been patched up by the team, he only went to the hospital for any shots he might need and pain relief along with an all clear.

"I didn't wanna hurt him, I- I just-"

"Hey, he attacked you. He could have given you a bleed on the brain, you had every right to stab the bastard. Does it still hurt?"

Evan looked down at her head which looked pretty nasty from his height advantage point. She had a cut down the middle of her head that broke through her hairline into her forehead but it was more superficial than painful. The one that had been glued was now swelling up and would be bruised and tender in a few hours. (Y/n) wouldn't be able to wash her hair or touch her head for a week and she would be living with constant headaches for a while.

"A little, I feel… woozy." (Y/n) managed a smile as she gripped the edge of the bed she was sat on and pushed up to her feet.

The morphine took away most of the pain and sickness but now she felt drugged, wobbly and like her head weighed more than the rest of her body.

Her lips parted in a gasp when her feet bent awkwardly beneath her and her knees pushed forward into Evan's thighs. His hands reached out to grab her waist and he reeled her into his chest with ease, tilting his chin down so he could look at her through the height difference.

A smile wormed onto his face and his eyes creased at the corners as he smiled down at her with that dopey yet cocky grin that made (Y/n)'s stomach flutter.

"You keep falling for me today, huh?" His thumbs brushed up and down her exposed hips and his head tilted to the side as he stared at her wishfully.

"Seems so,"

(Y/n) kept her eyes level with his chest while she slowly dragged her fingertips up his biceps and along his shoulders until her thumbs could brush against his neck. She finally dared to lift her head up enough to meet his gaze that was piercing through her like there was a question burning in his mind that he was desperate to know the answer to.

"I guess I'd better get used to catching you then,"

The feeling of Evan's lips on hers made (Y/n) shiver and when she pushed up on her toes and swiped her thumb across his jaw, she felt his hands tighten around her hips. He pulled her chest flush against his and leaned down to catch her at a better angle.

His teeth bit her lower lip while his hand trailed up her side, gliding his fingertips across her skin to make her flush and squirm against him. He cupped her chin between his finger and thumb, nuzzling his nose into hers when they parted. (Y/n) could feel each breath he gasped against her lips and the moment she looked up into those ocean blue eyes, she felt her knees giving way.

If this was falling, (Y/n) never wanted to land.

[harmoniouseclipse]

Woe fankids be upon ye

Doing a little series where I took some ship requests on my instagram to make them fankids, this one is for me tho (jeanlisa to kick it off whoo 🙌🏻) The lineup so far is Cytham, Kavetham, Lionfish (aka Freminet x Gaming aged up probably idk how old they are canonically), Cynonari, Jealuc, and Beiguang, and feel free to send me some other pairings you wanna see (as long as they are legal pls otherwise I will ignore it 👎)

I'm gonna ramble about some headcanons and lore for them under the cut, continue with caution bc I'm insane

These two are my brainrot rn, don't even joke lad. And I wanna tell yall their name meanings too bc I like them a lot 🥹 Zephra's means "west wind" derived from Greek, and it's the feminine version of Zephyr. Tyrian was a type of purple dye used by the Ancient Phoenicians, huge huge HUGE thanks to my pookie bear @miothefish for helping me out with his name!!! Also he has Lisa's butterfly earring and you can't see bc of the angle but Zephra has the rose that went in her hair holding her ponytail <3

I'm also making a massive family tree for the characters as a go along, and just the jeanlisa tree is taking up half of the canvas bc of the KoF and Sumeru characters since Cyno is their uncle and the rest of the gang are their honorary uncles 😭 I'll be posting that once the series is done/all the requests are finished/I run out of ships and otps I enjoy

Here's an alternative version with some more info on most of the characters I wanted to briefly mention in their relation to them; Tyrian likes calling Eula his aunt too even though she was never really considered one for them so it's kind of like her unofficial title she pretends to dislike but she loves it and dotes on Tyrian 🤭 She and Diluc also helped train Zephra with a claymore and Diluc kind of became a parental figure to her in her teen years after Lisa's passing 🥺 She also feels like she's outshined by Jean and that she's not smart or powerful enough to follow in Lisa's footsteps (something that Lisa wouldn't want anyways bc it led her to her death 😔) rip zephra she's just like me fr

And yeah some Kaeya angst bc he's still going thru it I fear, and Jean is single mombossing but she's worried for zephra which me too dawg, im afraid to say she might be cooked 😦 Zephra is also kind of like a weird mix of Lisa when she was her age and Jean, where overall she's well-mannered and kind but she can be competitive and feel the need to push herself too much and pull a few strings to get what she wants from time to time. Tyrian is a ray of sunshine tho, he has not yet witnessed the horrors 💔 I do think that Jean is also a lot easier on him than her mom was with her so that also helps. He's very shy tho and wants to stick with Zephra or Razor most of the time, and they both have some nasty tan lines from going out with Razor and Klee and Fischl a lot 😔 Cyno also freaking loves them and dotes on them and Tyrian is getting a TCG addiction because of it smh, Cyno is also one of Zephra's favorite people and when she's in Sumeru she stays with him and Alhaitham (bc in my universe they are married ough I love cytham)

And (I think?) Klee physically and mentally ages slower than humans so I think she'd be technically 9 or 10, and Zephra is left with babysitting duty most of the time if she's home on break or smth 😭 Klee really looks up to her tho

Also, I wrote Tyrian's last bullet point like he was super young when Lisa died, but I think he was around 7 so he actually remembers Lisa better than I intended it to sound, he was just younger than Zephra (who was 11 at the time) and just didn't have as much time with her as Zeph did, but his most fond memory of Lisa was reading with her and she probably taught them some potion-making skills too.

I think there will be some abyss angst in here too at some point, since I hc Lisa to be probably an Abyss Lector/Harold (I forget which is which) um so thinking that Zeph and Tyrian experiencing some not normal things happening and Jean doesn't know what to do since Lisa also didn't really know what that dog in her was until it was too late 😔 That's what Kaeya's for tho since he's like the heir of the abyss???? Go off king. Also some touchy ragbros angst bc Kaeya is scared for Zeph knowing how close she is with Luc and he doesn't want him to push her away because of her being from the abyss or smth (they mostly made up but it's still a fear in Kaeya's mind both for him and Jean's kids)

I think that's all I wanted to touch on for now?? Mainly just thinking about domestic fluff and angst all the time now 🥺 Zeph not being able to be open with Jean bc she feels like a disappointment but Jean would literally actually die for her and shes proud of her no matter what ough im going to lose my freak dawg guess who my favorite fankid is it's super hard ik

Send me asks or dms or whatever for more ship requests!!! I'm having so much fun with this dawg 🫶🏻

[mikkaeus]

house md hilson fic rec - medium to long fics (10k+)

Other house rec lists: short fics | episode tags | postcanon | infidelity trope (all of these are mutually exclusive apart from the infidelity one) // Edit: I added the longer postcanon fics to this reclist as well because this one got the most traction!

These are all House/Wilson unless otherwise stated. Before we get into the fics, here are some of my fave authors that have written several house fics.

fourteencandles: im literally in love with them . 10/10 writing no notes. also long fics?? hello???

ictus: this author has the range! from emotional to fluff to funny. very smooth writing. all of their fics have different vibes which was fun to read. they’re all very good. 

Transformatron: fics that are transcendent and porny, all featuring a d/s undertone or theme (wilson as the dom)

Namaste (livejournal / ff.net): Some short fics, some much longer ones. Mostly gen focussing on H&W friendship, with some fics on canon pairings. Interesting character studies and discerning prose.

In order of length. *faves, ***underrated faves

*Brain Damage by fourteencandles (8k) (Ok I know this isn’t over 10k but I wanted all of their fics on one post and it’s close enough so.) This was brilliant. Like a real episode of House, with Wilson as the unfortunate patient-of-the-week, with bonus House/Wilson. Characterisation was bang on, and the plot was original and engaging and had a satisfying conclusion. Love to see House taking care of Wilson.

Down to the Water + Bound for Home by blackmare (~10k) Aftermath of season 4. House and Wilson go on a road trip. Quiet and sad and fragile, with excellent writing. This fic appears to have been fairly well known in lj days but I don't think a lot of newer people know about it.

*A Smaller World by fourteencandles (10k) The thing between them works, if Wilson doesn't push for more. God I’m so soft. I have so many feelings!!! In love with this established relationship hilson, still a little precarious, but with Wilson adapting, and House willing to put in effort.

*What's Past by fourteencandles (10k) The guy who used to have Wilson's job comes back for a visit, and it turns out they have more in common than Wilson ever knew.

*Touch Therapy by nomad (10k) It's not that House needs the human contact. It's just that when you're sharing an apartment, these things happen sometimes. Light hearted and funny, canon divergence from when Wilson’s staying on House's couch in s2. This is pretty much the homosexual waters have started flowing in House's direction post. Excellent dialogue.

***not another medical drama series (10k) by captainharkness Retelling of season 1 with House and Wilson as an established relationship. Great slice of life stories! Ongoing. The first is H/W POV, the second is Cameron, and the third is Chase. My favourite is definitely the second one (someone else’s story). I adore seeing H/W through the ducklings’ eyes. 

Synchronicity by copperbadge (10k) Dead patients, car wrecks, drug overdoses, journalists, Comatose Charlie, and orange chicken. Must be love.

systemic by ictus (10k) Ever since Wilson moved in, House has presented with some inexplicable symptoms. Fortunately, he has a team of talented doctors to aid him with his diagnosis. Season 2 fic! This one is funny and sweet and overall a great read.

Rush Down Darkness by Starlingthefool (10k) House MD/World War Z crossover. Told mainly through interview dialogue from house’s pov. Engaging story. House/Wilson definitely takes a backseat to the plot — there’s no grand getting together or anything. That's not to say it's not about them though, because there were still lots of good moments (good in the sense that my heart hurts). More succinctly, it has the vibes of an established relationship fic., although it isn't technically one.

Defensive Strategies by Milkshake Butterfly (~10k) (lj) In which Wilson is tired of being asked out by women when he's not ready to date again, and naturally House proposes a simple solution: pretend to be together. An enjoyable read.

******Commonplace and True by celestialskiff (11k) It would be a simple story--House and Wilson meet at a medical conference, have sex, and enjoy each other's company--but nothing is ever easy, or simple. Explores Wilson's relationship with House, with women, and with himself. House and Wilson throughout the years — with the version of canon where Wilson has cheated on every wife and girlfriend with House. When I tell you I am FROTHING!!! Pining while fucking?? The way it’s never the right time?? The greed of wanting to have your cake and eat it too? (That one’s specifically for Wilson, our beloved three-wives guy.) The vibes are immaculate. The prose is elegant verging on poetic. I’m eating this fic whole and it will be on my mind always. It is THE hilson fic for me. It is criminal that this fic has been up since 2012 and it only has 200 kudos. Go read it immediately & give the author some love.

***Declarations of Independence by Namaste (ff.net, also on livejournal) (11k) House and winter, throughout the years. I really enjoyed this. Excellent writing. Copy pasting a part of a comment by bedawyn which articulates why this fic is unique better than I can: “So far, I've seen a lot of focus in the fanfic (and the eps) on the pain and the Vicodin, but very little awareness of the practical aspects of limited mobility and the emotional impact of those even apart from the pain. So this was a very nice change.”

***Rule of Three by Transformatron (11k) (House/Wilson/Foreman) Foreman sees something he shouldn't have. And, maybe, wants something he shouldn't have, too. This was well written and super hot, with fun dialogue and descriptions that do justice to the excellent writing of the show itself. Foreman is faithfully characterised in a way that made me sympathetic. Also H/W outsider perspective as a third is such a treat to read. Lower me into my grave!!!!

*Warning Signs by out_there (12k) Excerpt: House looked to the left, staring down at the open box. Wilson knew that expression on his face: House was torn between denying it all and gleefully acknowledging his schemes. Normally, his ego won out and, like a comic super villain, he'd explain all. Wilson just needed to stay quiet and wait. This fic was fantastic. I am disgustingly fond. Superb characterisation. Light hearted and funny.

The Oncologist Trap by zulu (13k) (2007) House subtly seduces Wilson. Somehow.

The Line of Thought by tevinterimperium (13k) House and Wilson pretend to be together to play a prank on the ducklings, which is an extremely plausible scenario. From the perspective of the ducklings. Set sometime after 3x15: Half-Wit.

hail mary by ictus (13k) A post-canon fix it! In the weeks since finishing the show and reading this fic there are times I forgot that this wasn’t canon. It’s such a believable (and well-researched) alternate ending that feels like an actual episode.

Son of Mine by simoneallen (14k) Sherlock is House’s long-lost kid. Usually I’m not a fan of cross-over fics but I enjoyed this one. Established relationship on the johnlock side, getting together on the hilson side.

***hearts turn red by ictus (14k) In my head this is the counterpoint to Commonplace and True. When I found it after reading that one it really was a holy shit two fucking cakes?? moment. The delicious infidelity vibes are similar, but the vibes of the writing are pretty different -- whereas the above fic has a more quiet, subdued atmosphere, this one has more snappy prose and it’s more light-hearted with funny moments as well as emotional ones. It’s not just the infidelity theme that makes me crazy about both of them though; it’s how they play on the great tragedy of House and Wilson. In the author’s own words: In a way they do feel a little bit doomed to never quite be on the same page with each other until the very end of the series and by then it's too late. Of course, in these fics, they’re rescued earlier than the end, but the wretched vibes remain. Also, I’m obsessed with this line: By Wilson’s read, House is somehow simultaneously joking and sincere: Schrödinger’s sexual advance. That is the entire fucking show.

An Inconvenient Truth by annathaema (15k) Wilson helps out Cuddy and reveals something about himself in the process. House freaks out accordingly. Also features banana-colored babies, the men's room, and Skee-Ball.

*at the rind by ShanaStoryteller (19k) An AU where Wilson experiences all the near death moments House has in the show as a series of nightmares. Set between 1.19 and 2.05, but spoilers for the whole show. Protective Wilson!! We love to see it. I also like Wilson’s characterisation here - you can very much see how not-normal he is. We love unhealthy co-dependency.

***Esopus Creek by shaycat (24k) An eighty-year-old widower by the name of Eugene Skinner ventures out one September day in upstate New York for his usual morning activity - fly fishing. His leisurely hobby is interrupted by a bickering pair nearby in the river. That chance encounter with Greg House and James Wilson changes the course of his life. Told from the perspective of the last friend the boys make on their final road trip. This was the perfect post season 8, Wilson-still-dies fic. A sad fic but not a depressing one. It’s quiet and heartwarming, in a bittersweet way. Highly recommend. It has great use of outsider POV — I’m always a sucker for it but it worked particularly well in this case to have the angst but not be drowning in it. Also I just really liked the OC.

***Howler Tone by baffledbear (25k) The calls always happen late at night, and they're extremely sporadic, with weeks, sometimes months bridging between them. They talk on the phone otherwise, of course; about patients, or dinner plans, or carpooling. Typical stuff. But the calls that always end a certain way always start a certain way. Wilson is so repressed but so attracted to House. House is taking as much as he can get while still remaining in relative safety. Together they push a platonic relationship to the absolute limits of plausible deniability. Overall totally realistic within the canon of the show — the natural step up from the gay chicken already depicted. It’s just such a perfect scenario for them! That combined with silky smooth prose, faithful characterisation and accurate dialogue makes this fic is a definite hilson favourite and also a hilson-thesis fic.

*The Open Road by Pun (25k) A fandom classic. Road trip fic set in the earlier seasons. It's good; read it.

*He Won't Tell You That He Loves You by hellshandbasket (25k) [In which Nolan pulls at the Wilson thread, and House can't stop it all from unraveling. Repression is a hell of a drug.] Early s6. Another fandom classic that is worth its salt.

no need to worry (making up your mind) by scribespirare (25k) House makes the mistake of telling his mother he can't join her for Christmas because of his new boyfriend. Somehow, this becomes Wilson's problem. Cute and fun. I put off reading fake-dating fics because I was worried about them being OOC but this one definitely wasn’t!

***Sticks and Stones by Transformatron (25k) (WIP) House has an innovative new idea for managing his chronic pain. Wilson’s not sure he approves - but when has House ever asked for permission? This is such a great concept I am climbing the walls!!! D/s with House as the sub. The story is currently still at pre-relationship stage, with House experimenting with BDSM and Wilson being unhappy with the proceedings (for some unknown reason /s). Also the writing is nice and snappy with some great figurative language that manages to incorporate medical themes impressively well. 

Fresh Feeling by justkeeptrekkin (30k) House is tricked into going on a team-building trip with his colleagues. He does far more bonding with Wilson than anyone else. Funny and well written. The team interactions are very cute.

***Tracking Time by Namaste (37k) (ff.net) A look at House and Wilson's friendship over the years and how it has changed from their meeting through the end of the first season. I don’t usually read long genfics but this one was exceptional. I like Namaste’s take on House and Wilson’s characters. And they are a very good storyteller — one thing that you don’t tend to see as much of in fanfiction is the old adage of ‘show not tell’. The writing in this fic is careful and subtle, and lets you read between the lines, making it so that no part of the 37k words is a drag to read.

*The Body Found by fourteencandles (46k) Wilson's missing. When I tell you I cried... Premium angst & hurt/comfort. Excellent dialogue with some alternating POV (House mainly, but you also get the three ducklings & Cuddy).

You Already Know How This Will End by fourteencandles (46k) What if House had gone to rehab right after/around "Merry Little Christmas"? (3.10) This fic was interesting. It’s told in a series of short vignettes with a variety of different perspectives. It’s not really a hilson fic (or a fic for any ship). It just explores the characters. I did wish for more hilson but it’s a good read (I mean, it’s fourteencandles). The one hilson scene near the end where they hire a hooker in Atlantic City lives in my head rent free. Warning that the ending is rather abrupt and I didn’t find it satisfying, but I think it works for this kind of story, in a way. Messy people and their complicated relationships, with a lot of loose ends left untied, because that’s just what life is. 

***For Every Closed Door by starlingthefool (around 50k?) (lj) Overview of the chapters (14 with 4 interludes and an epilogue) is on the author’s lj (scroll down).  House MD/Dead Like Me crossover.  I love this fic a lot! It’s canon divergence from Season 3. House gets killed in a freak accident and becomes a reaper, remaining in the mortal world to harvest souls, able to interact with people but not be recognisable to those that know him. As the author says, this is an Afterlife!Fic and therefore a deathfic. They also said it’s not depressing — which is true, because it’s more plotty than an angstfest, and there are lots of light-hearted parts, but it is definitely heartbreaking at points. I literally cried all the way through the last chapter. Happy ending though!!! Don’t worry about the cross-over aspects. I haven’t seen Dead Like Me, and as far as I can tell, it just takes the premise of the show. I’m glad I found this fic whilst trawling 2000s livejournal because it’s really a hidden gem. Great plot, dialogue, compelling OCs — the whole package! I got so emotionally invested in the story. I think there were maybe a few parts that were a little unpolished but just keep reading. It’s really worth it. 

*A Modest Proposal and Involuntary Commitment series by ignaz (98k) The one where House and Wilson get married so Wilson can’t testify against House in the Tritter arc.  I have an unfortunate habit of downloading fics and then forgetting to bookmark & comment once I’m done, so I don’t have anything detailed to say about this one, but it’s a classic and a favourite of mine.

Twenty Years of Stealing My Food by hwshipper (100k) A backstory taking place over twenty years, from how House and Wilson met all the way to canon. A reimagining of their fucked up, magnetic relationship, with a straightforward writing style. They get together nearly as soon as they meet and maintain a steady open relationship whilst cheating on their various girlfriends and wives throughout the years. 

[chiacanwritesometimes]

casual (part 1)

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

ship: bucky barnes x reader

word count: 1.2k

authors note: this was a little hard to write, as i had to delve into the reserves of my own experiences, so this hits a little close to home. i will be updating soon! unedited. there is soft smut and mentions of homophobia. this whole series is about situationships, so dni if this triggers anything or makes you uncomfortable. please do not get into anything you do not feel comfortable doing, and know that you are loved and should not settle for less. my dm’s are always open. much love, and enjoy.

===========

your pov

you didn’t blame him. he wasn’t really in the best of mentalities for a relationship, so it must’ve meant a lot for him to choose you. or, at least, not push you away.

after losing his best friend, he decided he should lay low. if he didn’t get close with anyone, he would get hurt. except you. always, except you.

you would come over to his bleak apartment, and chat for a bit. occasionally, you’d bring him some food. you’d write down the events in your journal, rereading them time and time again to feel closer to him. you knew he didn’t want you, or rather, want you the way you needed him to. he was still stuck, mourning the loss of his best friend, and…lover. but he was gone, and you were right here. why wouldn’t he pick you? you weren’t terrible looking, and you weren’t … terrible in bed either. what was so utterly unappealing in you? you wrote in your journal. maybe in your thoughts, you’d find the answer.

entry 1:

it was 2 in the morning when i came over. the clock keeps ticking longer each time i go, and im hoping that one of these nights you’ll ask me to stay. you never do. i dont like the way i manage to say everything that’s on my mind when im with you. i think that one day, ill let you read all this, but for now, its just mine. i want to not like you, so badly. i get so nervous around you, my chest tightens, my lips curl inward, my eyes dodge yours, my hands are occupied with my sweater, and my heart beats speeding up by the second. i usually am more eloquent and organized with my words and feelings, but today was so frustrating. i can’t look into your eyes when we fuck, because i know that through mine you look for him. your eyes attack mine. your eyes are unkind, your eyes are bitter. your hands hold me, wishing i was someone else. your lips softly graze against mine, hoping that you’d catch a glimpse of what it would be like if it was him instead.

you picked up your pen, and sighed. that was enough angst for tonight. you still had his sweat on your skin to wash off.

he wasn’t evil, just in a confusing situation. you convinced yourself that if you were in his shoes, you would probably do the same. it still didn’t take away from the pain, though. you liked him best when you were the sole focus on his attention, and when he told you pretty things. you got a sick sense of comfort when he squirmed under your gaze. he knew what he was doing wasn’t right, but cmon. he must have had some sort of clue if he felt guilty.

his pov

you had just left his apartment on a sour note. it wasn’t uncommon for that to happen. he would send you a text, saying he was sorry, you’d respond, and the cycle would repeat again. it was almost comical how long it has been since you two had been at this. he had put himself in an awkward situation again, but he wasn’t sure if it was an uncomfortable one. the last time he was in a one sided relationship was with… it wasn’t a relationship, at least not by technicality. sure, they slept together, spent time together, cried together, but he knew deep down his heart belonged to peggy. he wasn’t jealous, but a part of him wondered what would have happened if he was honest with his feelings. hes sure nothing would have changed, as it would have been extremely controversial for america’s sweetheart to have a sweetheart of his own, let alone a male one. he felt like a kept secret, a promise that one day, things will be different. they never were.

now, with you, things were different. he felt the need to shield himself from the world, but it wasn’t because homosexuality wasn’t accepted, rather because he wasn’t. his mere existence was hated by many, for who he was, who he hurt. the winter soldier, although gone, still haunted him.

he didn’t want to hurt you. being close with you would mean that you’d have to take care of him, something he hardly ever did, so why should you? other than aftercare, he wouldn’t let his guard down when you were near. he was afraid that he would be right, and you wouldn’t give a shit about him, worried that you just wanted him for his body, like them. he didn’t like thinking of you that lowly, but after a life like his, it was bound to happen.

he sighed, and grabbed his phone. he texted you a small apology, silently cursing himself for continuing this cycle. he threw his phone on the couch and sighed. he got up, walked to the kitchen and made himself a small breakfast. the morning didn’t start just yet, but might as well start the day now.

your pov

you couldnt hate him. you loved the way he loved you, the way you came undone with his touch. his scent was addicting, and you were obsessed with the way he tucked your hair behind your ear, the way he breathed heavily under the sheets, the way he held you so gently when pumping inside you. you thought of this morning, and sighed.

you got his text, and smiled. “miss you. door’s open. bb.” you found it adorable how he typed in short sentences, and finished each message in “bb”, for “bucky barnes”, as if you didn’t know it was him. you dressed yourself casually. nothing too fancy, nothing too drab. you wore a small amount of perfume, just enough so his bedsheets smelled like you. you wore your favorite lingerie, knowing that romance was out of the picture. this was just a fuck, a quick connection between two people before the knowledge of knowing you will never be his overcame you. you showed up to his apartment, and he opened the door. you didn’t even need to knock, he knew you were there. he smiled.

“you look beautiful.”

you walked in, and he started kissing you. you always wore a low cut tank top, and he always lingered on the straps of your shirt. he’d bite it, almost whining that the small piece of fabric was in between him and your body. he led you to the couch, and let you straddle him. he removed your pants, complimenting the way they hugged your hips while doing so. you got on top of him, loving how almost natural it felt, how perfectly you fit on top of him. his favorite part to leave hickeys was in the sweet spot of your neck. he kissed over the healed bruise, evidence of the last time you came over to his place.

you went to bed. might as well catch some sleep before the morning came.

[silliest-heartaches]

Ohh my god DRINKKK!! Dude I love them sooo muchhh. I just love imagining them being head over heels for each other yet constantly denying their feelings, because of how they view themselves, yet still finding comfort and solace with each other. They are so. YES. PERFECT. AUGH.

SHARE MORE ABOUT THEM PLEASE!!!

And I love how you use they/them for Ink and she/her for Dream!!

GOD YEAH I LIKE THEM SO INCREDIBLY MUCH... tbh the main reason i started liking them was bc i was thinking abt them and how doomed yuri coded they were and. The worms Wormed in from there,,,,

I actually use he/they and she/they for ink and dream respectively but!!!!!! I love all hcs and interpretations of them for REAL. nonbinary people who are gay as fuck for real,, very inherrently queer ship regardless of how u see either of them i think...heart seeing them as t4t transmasc and transfem forever personally though so thats what i see em as hehe,, also in my head theyre both aroacespec (though the specifc kind varies from au to au though i do consistently see ink as ace and dream as demiaro :>>)

Im not sure how long these will be so...hcs under the cut lol

- okay well while in my mind while error is technically the First Entity ink sees that isnt just a normal entity, dream is like their First. Friend. you know. Like when error first saw him he was screaming and crying for the hills bc it was also his first time seeing another outcode so. that reaction BUT with dream she was more filled with gentle confusion... this is a bit after she unstoned in the apple incident but still was new to au hopping and naive to most danger so they became friends!!! Questionably so.

-to elaborate, when they first meet dream is still stuck on the ideals of toxic positivity and pushing through hardship no matter what... i think this is something they eventually grow out of and dream will eventually learn to see the need for balance eventually but one of their first disputes happens when ink is running low on ink and most of whats left are the Negative Emotions within him alongside the especially strong panic that he usually feels when they get like this... dream would try to comfort him and try to say that itll work out in the end no matter what and that they just need to push through and that itll be okay like normal comforting words because dream is an empath and can sense feelings right,,i feel like its comforting in some cases but when things get Really Bad and especially when the main reserves of feelings that ink has are Negative, they heavily override his normal sense of self and i imagine they get a lot more. Snappy.... theres also the additional hc thingy of ink also really overexaggerating his feelings and overplaying them a lot for the sake of trying to feel more intensely (doesnt work, just drains him faster and will never truly feel natural to him...personally think that ink feels a lot of disconnect from his feelings) which could be considerably offputting to dream (though before adding swap to the group she thought it wass normal because she had only seen the fake pretend nice joy of the village influenced by her aura and not Genuine Feelings)

I think eventually through the years they would learn a lot from eachother...like with ink learning to be more naturally charismatic and dream learning to see past toxic positivity and have his perception on emotions change for the better (ie in learning that having different emotions are okay, so long as there is a balance)

id do alot more hcs but tbh what it boils down to is: toxic codependent yuri. intensely up and down relationship where theres an insane amount of love and attachment but also a lack of self from the both of them because they are only able to see themselves as a Thing to the other. Also exes who turned out to be besties. Thry got together and broke up wayyy before blue (they casually tell him stories about it and for the parts that he does know about he is horrified for.) Oh and they share hobbies and do parallel play alot. dream is more music oriented and can play the cello and flute. ink can play the ukelele but hes more familiar with drawing and painting duh. Also they have a garden. they love growing flowers but their favourites are sunflowers. Also have writing sessions together. Also may/may not also have beautiful princess disorder. (The both of them)

im so sorry this is so incoherrent but erm. yeah im very normal abt them (half of this stuff comes from oc projection the other half is like. Mental illness while in the shower tbh)

[freakinator]

some disjointed and kinda incoherent thoughts about the s5ers + jepexx:

4c - nature vs nurture, his nature of being a somewhat peaceful generous guy with a somewhat solid sense of justice who wants to be friends with everyone thats the closest thing lifesteal can have to a hermitcrafter vs the way lifesteal itself bends and corrupts those very qualities: seeking vengeance against the abyss after they kept taking advantage of him only to kill him to the point of helping with the orbital cannons, reviving wemmbu over and over again cause he felt bad for him, his own builds being used (or at least attempted to be used in the case of sanctuary) as both slaughterhouse and grave as they eventually turn into rubble

jumper - love that corrupts, holding on so dearly to her teammates (both former and current) and her vision of what lifesteal is supposed to be that shes willing to enact extreme and even horrific measures towards others (particularly zam) to protect them and their memories, limiting herself only for the sole purpose of making said measures hurt even more

minute - good ol' Lifesteal TraumaTM babyyyyy!!!!!! how fitting that the most fanboy-y of the new guys is the one that gets to have the most traditional form of Lifesteal TraumaTM, although idk if its better or worse that he basically speedran almost all forms of it courtesy of the PlayersTM, Wemmbu, and the PMC (all he needs now is to keep failing and dying against an impossible enemy and he'd have a complete set)

pentar - yeah i can see why the PlayersTM love him, he's adapted very well to how lifesteal is although that might just be because he seems to be a very chill guy (of particular mention is when zam did his restaurant bit he just went along with it), that being said he still very much has a lot of hallmarks of being a new guy, one being that hes very reactive which im hoping will change soon since the wemmbu election + the advancement race may have possibly flipped a switch in him

wemmbu - props to this guy for trying so hard to exploit at every opportunity, although i do wonder how differently he would act if he was here for s4 or if he would stay exactly the same as he is now

squiddo - when will they return from the war, has the opposite problem to jepexx wherein she keeps getting dragged into plotlines and essentially forced into adapting to how lifesteal is despite her aversion simply because everyone likes her, she knew basically nothing about its culture and yet shes blended in perfectly, technically nothing is their fault and yet still theyve got blood on her hands

jepexx - when will he return from the war, has the opposite problem to squiddo wherein nobody likes him (ingame) so he keeps being pushed away from plotlines, since hes been here before everyone expects him to behave accordingly and yet the lifesteal he knows of is in s1 and therefore he acts according to that culture even tho the server gone long past that, asserting his will even tho its entirely unwelcomed such as looting corpses right in front of everyone, technically everything thats happened to him is his fault and yet still hes one of the more innocent players simply because of circumstance and skill issues

[in-amor-veritas]

Hey hey,

Idk if you are still taking prompts but I thought I'd shoot my shot as I missed that you were participating. I absolutely understand if you aren't taking more though.

Wilmon+

"No, no, no, please no!"

Hiii I am still taking prompts :)

This is some kind of silly arts university AU where Wille and Simon are both dance majors (Wille is ballet and Simon is modern/street/hiphop idk what’s the exact term for what im imaging I just know he wants to be a choreographer and run his own studio) also idk why but Wille has s1 hair bc ballet Wille to me always had longer hair 🤷‍♀️

"No, no, no, please no!" Wille stares in horror at the four letter word greyed out under the stupid text message he’d meant to send to his best friend, Felice, and instead sent to the insanely attractive, intimidatingly outspoken and extremely talented boy in his dance history class.

He had sent it to Felice, moping about his crush and hadn’t expected the message to be read so immediately after sending it, so it had been with a horrified gasp when he realized after rushing to unsend that it was no use because Simon had already seen the stupid message talking about how distracted he gets sitting behind him and how badly he wants to get to know him better.

Fighting the urge to throw his phone across the room he lays back on the mattress, staring with some kind of masochistic fascination as the typing bubbles appear, fingers running through long strands of his blonde hair, twisting and pulling the ends in anxiety as he think about what Simon must have thought when he read it, what he’s writing back right now.

Simon must think he’s weird, after-all he’s always been socially awkward and quiet and they’ve barely exchanged more than a few words since the start of this class together, someone as social and popular as Simon Eriksson probably has plenty of people interested in him, Wille can just imagine the other boy showing his friends the message and laughing at how weird that Wilhelm guy is.

He almost doesn’t want to look when he feels his phone vibrate, but he’s too curious and when he see opens the notification he has a slight panic attack as what’s written there, sitting up and pushing his hair out of his eyes he reads it again.

sorry for being too distracting for you to pay attention in class…guess i owe you one…why don’t we get together and study or something sometime….for the record ive watched you in rehearsal and you’re pretty distracting yourself ;)

Wille grins, feeling his cheeks flushed and a sense of curious wonderment bloom inside of his chest—holy shit Felice wasn’t going to believe this.

…..

this is technically 6 but ive decided im not counting the text message as a sentence 😌

[wake-me-up-inside-imagines]

Hiii! Can I make a request for Charlie? I read your pregnant darling and im curious how it would play out when his s/o is giving birth. I love your fics btw and im a huge fan of your oc's!

Awe, thank you so much, I appreciate the support! And sure thing for the request, I hope you enjoy!

Yandere! Mafia Boss With An S/O Who’s Giving Birth

Technically GN! Reader because pronouns aren’t used but reader is pregnant so…presumed afab reader

Warnings: Reader is giving birth, pregnancy, medical stuff, needles, Charlie is Yandere but doesn’t really do a whole lot of insane stuff in this one, mentions of death and stuff going wrong but nothing bad happens don’t worry

(Also, I mentioned this in the pregnancy post but I’m gonna do it again here; In this scenario, reader is with Charlie willingly and he’s just Yandere for other reasons. I don’t fw the idea of a kidnapped darling being pregnant, that’s a hard limit for me even though I write darker content).

Divider credit goes to @konatasoup

Charlie’s spent the entirety of your pregnancy worrying about the day you’d finally give birth. He was excited of course, he can’t imagine not being overjoyed, but the prospect of anything going wrong absolutely terrifies him. What if there’s a complication with your pregnancy? What if the baby isn’t as healthy as his doctor says they are? What if you get severely hurt during the birthing process? What if you die? What if-

He tries to surpress his worries, he really does, but as the day draws closer, he can’t help but dwell on them. He does his best to distract himself with prepping everything you might need at the hospital and more importantly, sticking by you every second he possibly can, protecting you from any outward threats he can think of. If something’s gonna go wrong, it’s not gonna be because he failed to keep you safe. Whatever is in his control will be dealt with, you can bet on that.

When it comes time for you to give birth, he’s absolutely frantic, and doing a terrible job at hiding it. Sure, he’ll reassure you he’s fine, but his frantic scrambling to get everything in the car and his nearly erratic driving prove otherwise. You’ll have to spend as much time reassuring him as he does reassuring you, because that man is not calming down any time soon.

However… he does make a pitstop to get your favorite food before you enter the hospital. He’s been told that it might be a while before you can eat again and he’s not about to let you go hungry, so whatever you want, he’ll get (despite his nerves). As long as you aren’t in a ton of pain and ok with him getting you food, he’s happy to provide for you.

Once you get to the hospital, he’s borderline harassing any nurse he can find, demanding you be taken in as soon as possible. He only slightly relaxes once you get into the labor room where you’ll be taken care of, but even then, he’s still shaking wildly, asking every single nurse and doctor what they’re doing to you as they’re doing it. You can’t blame the guy though, he has no idea what’s going on, and he loves you too much to play around with you and your child’s health.

He’ll hold your hand throughout all your contractions, no matter how hard you squeeze. He would really prefer you get an epidural because it kills him to see you in any amount of pain, and you better believe that you’re gonna get it as quick as possible if that’s what you want, but if you want to have the baby naturally, he’ll respect the decision, letting you grip him for dear life throughout the pain. He knows contractions are part of the process, but it still freaks him out to see you go through them, even if you and the nurses tell him you’ll be fine.

Once the baby starts really coming out, he’s on the verge of passing out. There’s nurses everywhere, you’re clearly in pain as you push, people are talking, machines are beeping, there’s a chemical smell overpowering his senses, you’re squeezing his hand for dear life-

Aaaaandddd there he goes.

He passes out right next to you, but he comes back after a second or two, groggy but alert. He might pass out again later, but for now, he focuses all his attention on you, reassuring you that you’re doing so well, and that he can’t wait to meet your child. He’s extremely lightheaded the entire time you’re pushing your kid out, but he does his best to stay focused, too anxious to purposefully allow himself to slip away.

Then he hears your kid crying, and he’s sees a fleshy blob get carried away to be cleaned off, and the biggest rush of relief hits him so hard he starts letting out a couple tears of his own. His child’s here, they’re here and you’re both fine. Nothing went wrong, everything’s ok, and he’s a father now, a real father. He has a kid!

While the doctor’s are making sure your baby is all right, Charlie focuses all his attention on you. You’re exhausted, as expected, but you find enough energy to smile up at Charlie, and he can’t help but smile back. He squeezes your hand reassuringly and pours out soft praises, reminding you how much he loves and you and how excited he is to be a dad.

Charlie spends the rest of the hospital visit absolutely giddy, almost vibrating with his excitement and joy. He watches you hold your kid with the biggest grin on his face, holding out his finger for the baby to grab onto as the two of you coo over them. He can’t keep his eyes away from you two, his gaze landing between your happy face and his baby’s face, trying to soak in every detail, until it’s permanently burned into his memory.

And then you pass the baby to him, saying he should get a turn to hold your kid, and he just melts. He tries to be as gentle as possible as he cradles the tiny human he helped create, absolutely petrified at the prospect of dropping them but beyond jubilant that he finally gets to hold the kid he’s been waiting to meet for so long. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to let them go, he’s only known them for a little bit, but he already loves them more than anything in the world (other than you).

Charlie doesn’t really know what the future holds, especially considering his job. But he makes a vow right then and there that no matter what happened, he’s gonna keep his kid as safe and happy as possible, even if that means shielding them from his career as much as possible.

He looks over to you, baby in arm, and smiles. He’ll keep his family safe. He swears it on his life.

I hope you enjoyed!

[grif-hawaiian-rolls]

Anyways the “essay” about the energy sword to character development pipeline below the cut

Ok so like yea tucker-crunchbite-junior is, obviously, the first instance of the sword-quest-companion theme/trio that im like, rattling in my head rn

Tucker finds the sword, crunchbite shows up and theres the “quest” that challenges tucker both in the false intent (you need to be the hero) and the true intent (SA leading to Junior which is not handled well but it IS important) which is a push against tucker’s character thus far in that he’s the comic relief, make everything a sex joke archetype— he doesnt take it seriously, he doesnt see himself as important beyond getting just enough recognition to be “hot” and now he’s made to be the so called “hero” and the true plot puts him in the one position that he probably never thought could be him. Bc he wants to get laid so… yeah. Pushes his character if you give it like three seconds of critical thinking and not just the standard “haha alien baby bullshit” (that said, i do enjoy fics that explore crunchbite more and play with the potential of the “joke” shitty character into someone less sinister, but im doin my best to stick to canon rn)

And JUNIOR, oh man, because theres the thing that really solidifies this for me like

The dude who doesnt care doesnt bother is all jokes and ‘man whatever’ energy is a dad, and it starts with him trying to avoid it but he really fucking quickly steps the FUCK up for Junior and its the start of his development that people are like “oh he learns to be a leader on chorus” which i mean kinda yeah but he never struck me as a Leader even on Chorus even tho he does decidedly lead, its not the same as when kimball leads or when wash leads or carolina

He’s leads as a dad bc he is a dad

Not always a good one, but he’s trying and yea sometimes that means being the asshole, sometimes that means screwing up but it also means you fucking care and you take responsibility and you put yourself in danger first (the rescue mission, leaving the lieutenants behind)

And that doesnt start on chorus! Its the most evident there sure but

it starts with junior

It starts with him going after tex to protect his son, it starts with him trying to be a diplomat so they stay together, in sending junior away so he is safe while tucker buys time protecting the temple, it STARTS with him looking at church and going “leave my kid out of this” and yeah the way rvb was written and approached does Not take that seriously bc it wouldnt and if it did it would be a very different show but the implications are there and its acknowledged with tucker’s photograph of junior with his 5th grade basketball team (“i know right? Who carries actual pictures anymore” -tucker) which i could go on about THAT too but suffice to say its very clear that tucker cares so gd much about his kid and yeah his character development isnt super linear but you can basically pinpoint when it starts with the sword and junior

The second run of this trio of things is actually grif which is admittedly, a stretch, a big ol reaching for straws (okay, TECHNICALLY grif is the third run, but i’ll address that in a minute) largely a stretch bc grif… does the pattern backwards

This IS S16 stuff so if ur a shisno paradox hater i respect that, i however am gnawing on it with everything i have and will be going feral so this is your warning thank u for reading the tucker side of it mwah appreciate ya

Anyways

Grif does his plot backwards during timetravel shenanigans

He gets the alien companion/friend who contrasts his character first in Huggins

Grif is a loyal friend, but he is lazy, even after s15’s breakdown and apparent change of tune, he’s still looking to take the path of least resistance, avoiding the call, trying to keep things from moving

Enter Huggins: zippy, full of energy, excitable and just so different in that she is not only so proactive she puts herself in danger (which helps everyone in the long run/plot but its the principle) but shes so fucking lonely

As far as she knows, her family is dead, except for muggins who is so dettached from her, he might as well be a coworker and not her brother

Compared to grif, who has a family even when he tries to push them away (the reds, the blues, KAIKAINA) but hates taking action

Huggins is the start for grif’s arc of “it sucks but someones gotta do it” which in their case is best shown as the trudge across the bottom of the english channel which is so fucking funny to me but it really pushes both of them and puts them firmly in the friends category

Huggins cant zip ahead without grif, grif cant stop moving because huggins wont let him, so they find their little balance of gas vs brakes and together they cruise along p well

The actual push of the “quest” is grif having to be the one who steps up (kinda like tucker but its to the left) he’s the one who starts getting everyone together again across the timeline, even if he is very,,,

Well he’s very Grif about it, but it is still fundamentally, the change in character

Tucker isn’t a always good dad, Grif isn’t always a good instigator of action

But theyre trying and theyre working on it and grif’s arc suffers a Little from being so late in the show and thus not having much of a parallel to pull on but you could argue he gets the parallel from s15 anyways with the refusal of the call (from fake church/loco) and rescue mission but i hesitate to call that a parallel bc its literally back to back but an argument could be made for it which i love

Enter part two: the alien quest giver

“Wait wasnt that huggins”

NOPE huggins was alien companion! The Bestie in grif’s case,

The alien fetch quest comes from atlas, in that stupid wishing sequence but cmon it wouldnt be rvb if the character development wasnt sandwiched inbetween obnoxious gags and stupidity

The quest is less important here admittedly bc again, with grif doing this in reverse its not the challenge to his principle character that it was for tucker, his connection to huggins was the challenge, and this becomes the final push into the development, the “you have a role, now play it” that gives grif the final shove into Doing Things literal!! And his prize? For this character development arc? An alien sword

And thus the inverse version reaches an end, sort of (im pissed that technically he loses his sword, im also ignoring that he loses it in canon bc he fucking earned it okay this is a bit of canon i will ignore and loophole my way around it)

And now we track back to Chorus and to the second iteration of the sword-quest-companion plot

Locus

Now okay i will admit this is conjecture and pepe-silvia-on-corkboard-with-red-string fuckery at this point but hear me out okay!

He gets the sword with Felix’s death. We know this. What we dont know is how the fucking hell he gets off Chorus! We just see him show up later with A’rynasea. The vaguely alien (maybe sentient?? AI? Its implied with the way he addresses her but we literally have her for like two episodes) ship that seems to be the driving force (literal) (bc shes his ship) behind his chosen redemption arc where he pushes himself to help others at no apparent benefit to himself, but because it is, and i quote “the right thing to do”

Arguably, Santa could be Locus’ quest giver, seeing as how he is the one who triggers the whole shift in view for Locus in the first place and that is, technically, what crunchbite does and what atlas finalizes for grif! But the problem is we simply dont have enough of A’rynasea to draw the parallel between her and Locus as personalities, as companions for it to work for me??? But that might just be me overthinking? But it does make Locus’ version is a bit messier depending on who you consider his quest-giver but as far as I’m concerned, he’s still on his quest snd its just up to interpretation if A’rynasea is his companion?? or if theres a secret third alien for Locus that we never wouldve seen even if they planned for that bc its red vs blue and im just delusional about locus and his role in plot and this is just me firing concepts blindly into the sky at this point like - yeah i could still theorize what kind of companion characterization i think locus would work well with bc its more about the wielder than the companion in this sense (sorry junior and huggins i love yall i promise) but thats a completely separate rant at this point and not nearly coherent enough at this exact moment to add it PLUS its ridiculously self indulgent and only marginally canon compliant/adjacent but i will never not be amused by this very specific plot beat happening enough to draw these parallels, as tenuous and vague as the parallels are

[moonshynecybin]

Your takes on Marc always feel so accurate so I’d like to hear more of what you think in reference to that ask

i thinkkkkk this ask was about the pre argentina post sepang period where marc is like. attempting to mend his relationship to valentino by pure force of will and also being very sweet but vale is a lil reticent if sometimes polite... estranged but still hanging on to that lethal chemistry. death would be kinder if your name is marc marquez. but im going to take a HARD turn into omegaverse land here so sorry to god and his motorcycle racers

SO i think marc obviously like. doesnt really want to believe its over. hes soooo in love here (and as a canonical late bloomer i dont think hes EVER had a heat without vale?? and he is discovering that he is in fact quite bad at dealing with them by himself?) and i really do think that, as hurt as he was by the sepang fallout, he really thinks vale will get over it with time ! and that eventually theyll be able to be as close as they were previously! as soon as he unblocks me the wedding is back on ! truly cannot imagine doing a heat with anyone else he feels literally cold down to his bones thinking about it. and its not even just the dynamic stuff... he misses the grabby hands on cooldown laps and the hugs in parc ferme and the way vale used to put his long fingers in marc's hair to put him where he wants him when they were fucking and the soft skin of his neck and how when vale would touch him everything in marc's brain could just go quiet. truly he feels it in his TEETH like the longing is LETHAL the longing is PHYSICAL the longing has marc IGNORING HIS BODY'S BASIC NEEDS and refusing to go out and find someone to spend a heat with that would actual resolve the hormonal part of his biology reaching for vale (and break that mf bond). so the heat never quite fully resolves! and he feels antsy and feverish and smells literally crazy for weeks at a time. every alpha in the paddock bristling when the wind changes direction... vale staring at the sky with his nails digging into his palms

so marc's already shaky self control is pushed to the limit by his body's insane hormonal situation (motogp doctor is like. technically he can ride !) and so for a few years he decides to kind of. wage this tentative little campaign to see if he can get vale to smile at him or literally touch him at all and relieve a little of the tension swimming around in his body. ANY relief. so he says hi to him every day. goes up to him in parc ferme. small little touches on the podium. just making vale smell like him a little bit. hind brain rejecting the reality where they havent really touched skin on skin in months. waiting for vale to take off his glove before he shakes his hand. BUT because this is omegaverse and i love DRAMA, what marc doesnt realize is that he is sort of. fortifying the beginning stages of a bond that they had started to form when they were fucking. a bond that WOULD have just died if he left it alone or found someone else, but he canttttt because hes oblivious and in love... AND THEN he gets another heat, and its SO much worse... like the effects are compounding, and he can barely see straight and he's feverish and shaking with big eye bags all pale and sad... and eventually alex notices and pulls the plug. says you will NOT get on a bike like this and marc gets permission to stop and basically COLLAPSES

but meanwhile vale is being driven INSANE this entire time because the bond wont DIE but its also not COMPLETED, and marc keeps TOUCHING HIMMMM and smelling insaneeee like hes in heat literally constantly and vale doesnt know what the ISSUE is.... and hes caught up in soooo much resentment but theres literally a base part of his body that cannot physically ignore marc whatsoever. so its an escalating arms race of horny frustration until marc suddenly pulls out of the race one weekend (the official line is for "dynamic reasons" which vale stares at for full minute wondering. is anyone taking care of marc like he would. caught between wanting him to be okay and feeling SICK thinking about another alpha helping him through any of it...) and then theres a knock at his motorhome door. and its alex marquez, looking tired and a little nervous. and he just says. i need your help. its marc.

[mrsterlingeverything]

Long feelings vent

I broke it off with guy friend yesterday cuz well we were practically in a relationship even though we technically werent and like i really want to like... try everything this life has to offer... i think you could probably tell i was going a little bit insane from not being able to pursue anything with other people because it felt like cheating and i just couldnt do that to him... my phone died last night and he thought i blocked him and he sent me a long message about feeling hurt but wishing me the best... UGH i got a push from someone in my life to just rip the bandaid off but i feel like i took some of him with me when i did and the timing was shit but when is the timing good enough also he thinks theres someone else because of how sudden it was but there isnt but i also feel like i do need to like take advantage of the fact that im single because last time we had a month long break i didnt see other people and never got it out of my system and i just need to know like do i actually want that or do i want the stability and the beautiful life we had together... i just couldnt fully commit to him knowing that i havent tried so many things i wanted to like im bi but still havent been with a girl for example. And others. I couldnt pursue any of that with him so close to me i just didnt want to do that to him. I basically told him that we need a break so that I can like do my thing but it hurt him so bad that again i dont feel like i can have the fun i wanted but i feel like i already hurt him so i need to go through with it because otherwise it was for nothing. At least we're out of this relationship limbo that lasted a year and a half though. I want to get back together with him but if i do it too soon then ill feel the same way sooner than later. I told him not to wait for me because i think thats cruel but i could see us being together forever. Why cant i have it all.