#AND I AM SAYING THIS AS A QUEER AUTISTIC

[yardsards]

some people on here make Hating All Social Rules such an obnoxiously large part of their personality that you could say "it is polite to avoid farting in a crowded elevator if you can help it" and they'd call you an oppressive puritan who hates the incontinent

[disasterhimbo]

The worst thing about living in a small town is that I can’t be as weird as I want to be, because it’s important for people to like me. I wish I didn’t have to try to be normal for the sake of safety, I hate it.

[sunsetzer]

To everyone who has had to endure my yapping about a character I've hyperfixated on:

[hoardingpuffin]

There is something truly special in seeing yourself represented. In any way.

I can still remember the first time I watched a film about a trans person. A film about a transmasc kid, specifically, and I couldn't even identify then the reason why that film hit me in the heart like a truckload of bricks, but it did.

Recently I got into a show that features an openly gay character that is written so obviously as autistic, and I grew obsessed, and still - when I realized that he and the sassy ballet dancer he gets paired with actually get to get together and kiss?! On screen?!! Even though we live on 2025, that still surprised me. Because representation of queer experiences, or any marginalized experience, is still so rare. So every single time I get to see myself represented on screen I still get that same feeling I got when I was, what, 13 and watched Tomboy at CinéFête. I felt that way when I watched the first season of Heartstopper, whilst actively experiencing the heartache of pining for somebody I then thought would never return the feeling [note on that: past me was wrong]. I felt that way watching Pride with my parents, I felt that way watching Bohemian Rhapsody, I felt that way watching Young Royals, and I saw the TV glow, and the Fraggle Rock episodes The Glow and I am Pogey. I felt that way watching Étoile.

And I don't like attaching expectations to my own storytelling, I don't like having a plan what I want my art and writing to make people feel - but if I have just one goal, or wish, or hope for my storytelling, it is to be able to evoke that same feeling in somebody. If even just one person can look at the characters I play or read something I wrote, and feel the same way I feel watching Tobias and Gabin kiss, the same way I felt hearing Caduceus Clay explain his aroace identity, the same way I felt watching I saw the TV glow -

Then I've done something right.

[irenespring]

Starting season 7 of ER rewatch with dread in my heart.

This is actually great timing though because even though [Redacted] College has screwed me over royally, its fuckery has put me in a position to write one of my final college papers ever on Kerry Weaver's seasons 2-8 arc as a tragic backstory arc or Kerry overall as a genre atypical tragic figure.

Still.

I just want to protect her from the horrors. She needs a therapist and a friend and her mentor healthy again to tell her she's amazing and if anything her newly discovered queerness only enhances that. She needs literally one (1) person in her support system. She just needs someone to tell her she's going to be okay and that the one thing she has in her life (her job) is safe. But the whole basis of her tragic-ness is that the writers sabotage her every attempt to not be lonely. So...

[thigh-high-swag]

I need to kiss a pretty boy while he sits on my lap I’m ngl

[autisticlee]

random people: stop worrying/caring about what people think about you!

me: on the ground screaming at them for help because someone who doesn't like me or thinks bad things about me because i'm autistic/disabled/queer/etc is beating me up

[heir-of-the-chair]

You know, when they said “you never stop learning things about yourself” I don’t think they meant five consecutive years of having a new identity crisis.

[shrinevandal]

one thing that's frustrating but also really sad about the "queer isn't a slur nowadays and has never been one, actually" crowd is the way they completely miss the point of reclaiming it. if queer is a benign word and always has been (provably false obviously, but just to play their game for a second) then what's even the point of identifying with it? you're taking an act of courage and bravery by flipping the meaning of a word used against us on its head, by standing up loudly and proudly and going "yeah guess what? i AM abnormal, i AM unconventional, and there's nothing wrong with that", and instead watering it down to "heh... i'm just such a weirdo aren't i.... i'm not like other gays.... teehee" like it's honestly just really sad to me. the point of reclaiming queer should be to denounce the cisheteronormative fallacy that there is a "right way" to exist, and to honor the people that came before us who were called that and much worse and didn't let it stop them from fighting.

but saying that fight didn't even happen... to me that's somehow worse than using it against people who are uncomfortable with the word. because harassing people and not listening to their boundaries is awful obviously, but what's even worse is denying your own pride and spitting on the efforts of the people who came before us. you go from being shitty to one person to being shitty to an entire community. i just honestly don't get it. does this fulfill you?

[nathanialhowe]

i htink if it had been rick as the warden contract kronk wld have sought out ways to kill him before here lies the abyss anyway wtf

[thigh-high-swag]

Thinkin about trailing kisses over someone’s torso, starting at their shoulders and trailing down

Telling them they’re being so good for me and that they’re gorgeous and perfect like this, under me, letting me do this and letting me touch them

Thinkin about giving someone everything softly but giving it to them.

[undefeatednils]

Super exhausting week. Tomorrow will be a bit better. Monday will be bad again. Then calm for two days. thankfully. Also I ordered a new phone, which will probably arrive on Tuesday or Wednesday. Gonna need to transfer stuff over, hopefully that'll go smoothly.

Some extra thoughts that are yearning in the tags. Sorry y'all, feel free to skip/ignore/whatever. I need to yell.

[caladamn]

I'm not even gonna venture onto DR twitter rn cause I know the Plane hate will piss me off. Like... I completely understand not liking what she said or agreeing with it! But it pisses me off when people call someone racist, misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic (you get the idea) for no reason when whatever they said just doesn't warrant that reaction?? I don't know much about Chappell and I'm sure she's a lovely woman, and PJ deffo (just for her own sake tbh) shouldn't have posted that cause, well... we now know how people react and she probs should have just sat in silence with it for a while longer (also idk if i'm not understanding fully, but did pj say she's heard some drag queens say that chappell is rude or did that not happen? cause i've only seen one screenshot of plane talking about it, but some are saying that PJ said that other drag queens have had been interactions with Chappell) ANYWAY, sorry for this ask - you don't have to answer it cause its so messy and all over the place lmao but it genuinely rubs me the wrong way... I think most of the people getting super angry over what she said are people that don't like pj, haven't from the start, and just kinda followed along with the overall fanbase when they started opening up to her, and they've been waiting for something to set them off (cause i remember people being set off during the lip sync smackdown episode when pj joked about amanda and quite a few people started calling her a bully again on twitter) i think everyone should just take a deep breath like i understand why people are mad or annoyed but it's the people REALLY going in on her that are pissing me all the way off like... fucking relax you're acting like she said something horrific

i 100% agree anon !

at first I was mostly annoyed by the fact that people just blew everything completely out of proportion (imo-- cause I really don't understand how "I don't vibe with this person" becomes "I think this person and everyone similar to this person is not valid"- ???). but then they started calling pj things that she's clearly not (there's multiple videos of her saying she loves women and lesbians, hello?). and I somewhat understand why seeing someone who's a white cis gay man being skeptical of a lesbian artist feeds into the narrative of gay men excluding queer women from queer spaces--- but that's literally not what pj did. and you're right, she did mention that she heard from local queens that had worked with chappell in the past that she wasn't the nicest (not sure how true this is, but if that's what she heard who am i, or anyone, to deny that).

and the worst part is that now they're using this to bring up past FALSE allegations against her. it's pretty obvious atp that these people don't actually care to defend the reason this whole discourse started for, they just want pj cancelled and gone. I've literally seen people just go on and on about how shitty of a person (they think) she is instead of defending lesbians or queer women who do drag. they don't care about queer women.

also, everyone's entitled to an opinion (!). all pj did was give her (albeit uninformed/incorrect) opinion/criticism on chappell. she never talked about lesbians as a whole. and even if she did. WHO CARES. there's more important things in the world and a person's opinion is not going to change anything or have any true impact on anyone's life. this is such stupid discourse imo.

[actual-corpse]

Who the fuck decided the word "curvy" equaled "fat"?

Because they can go fuck themselves.

[maribelleventadour]

the thing about having a n*zi phase or whatever terminally online people say is what people just Go Through. is that i think all teens act out weirdly and sometimes that involves being reactionary. or you're just not a fully mature adult with perfect politics because you're 14. like i wasn't born a leftist, i got where i am through learning and empathy and i have met so so so many teens who don't want to do either.

like i don't think it's "normal", "fine", or "a thing all queer people experience", i think it's horrifying that teens have access to hateful ideological material and adapt it. i think it's one of the many signs that we have a long way to go in stamping out fascism in our society. but i do have some empathy for the teens, the literal children, who didn't know better and got caught up in fascism even for a little while, because it's a poison and they should have been kept safe from it. i feel sorry for them.

i have no empathy for adults who, having gone through that and supposedly having left that behind, talk about how it was fine and normal for them and how it happened to everyone. because if you're comfortable just admitting it in the open, in public, without shame, reflection or concern, then the best case scenario is that you're somehow still immature enough to not realise what this means. and the worst case scenario is that you actually never outgrew that phase, just got better at hiding it, and you're actively working to normalise fascism.

[claraetoile]

I never knew the most intimate moments of my life would be lying in bed and sharing special interests.

It's sad how our societal focus on romance and sex makes us blind to other forms of intimacy.