#AND HES FROM SCADRIAL

[willshaper]

FELT??????

[taurnachardhin]

They're sad. They're lonely. They stubbornly dedicated their lives to the same cause for years in the face of all doubt and judgment, but never met. They have supporting character syndrome and habitually subsume their own desires in service to others. They're afraid they're disappointing everyone around them anyway. They helped a teenager kill a godking together. They were each other's closest and arguably only friend for a year but that friendship was tragically severed by circumstances beyond their control and they each still bear literal scars from the wounds the other dealt in spite of having functionally infinite healing ability. They became near-immortal godlike beings and they STILL subsume their own desires in service to others and only became more tragic than ever. They're convinced they will never be loved. They each resemble the other's sole canon love interest more closely than any other character and both of those love interests are dead so what now.

[cosmerelists]

Changing One Letter in Cosmere Words To Create Something New :)

I am 100% inspired here by the simple elegance of @to-shards-you-say's post: "Nahel Bong." I too would like to see what I can create by changing one (maaaaybe two) letters in various Cosmere words.

1. Stormfather -> Stormfarter

His strong winds blow...from the other end.

2. Mistwraith -> Miss Wraith

It's a contest for all of the most beautiful & accomplished wraiths.

3. Ghostbloods -> Ghostblonds

Thaidakar only accepts those with the most gorgeous blond tresses or possibly wigs.

4. Sons of Honor -> Sans of Honor

Mr. Undertale wants to bring back the heralds.

5. Crow's Song -> Cow's Song

Anyone who has been treated to those melodious moos understands why a ship could bear this name.

6. Knights Radiant -> Knights Gradient

They make a rainbow. :)

7. Dawnshard -> Dawnshark

Dun-dun! Dun-dun! He attacks at dawn!!

8. Lifeless -> Wifeless

It's a devastating insult on Nalthis.

9. King's Wit -> King's Twit

It's what some nobles call Hoid...you know, behind his back.

10. Hero of Ages -> Zero of Ages

A devasting insult on Scadrial.

11. Way of Kings -> Way of Kinks

It's the porn parody.

12. Words of Radiance -> Worms of Radiance

It is not just humans who can swear oaths. You guys have no ideas the wars being fought in worm society.

13. Oathbringer -> Oatsbringer

It's what Gallant calls Dalinar.

14. Rhythm of War -> Rhythm of WAP

...I'm just saying, it was steamy between Raboniel & Navani.

[just-cosmere-fan]

See, I don't really blame Rashek for accidenatally turning Scadrial into a post-apocalyptic wasteland. He was doing his best under stressful circumstances, and on top of being new to the whole being a god thing, he had a short time limit

But the social hierarchy? The fuck was that about??? Legit what was running through his head

"Lemme just enslave 90% of the population, no biggie"

"Hooray! I prevented everyone from dying, now it's time to make them regret being alive in the first place!"

"Oh it's okay to become a tyrant whose empire is built on the backs of slaves, I saved the world once, I get a pass:)"

[cosmermaid]

The abandonment of the Oathpact predates the Lord Ruler. There was established trade between Scadrial and other worlds that the Lord Ruler knew about and allowed. Which means there were worldhoppers in the time of the final empire that KNEW what was going on with Scadrial and did not care to do anything about it.

By the time Kelsier learns of all this his planet is dying, and the Worldhoppers he meets are Hoid, who mocks him, Khriss and Nazh who threaten him and only offer a knife as assistance, and some Elantrians that are lurking like vultures to steal a shard. A shard that is NEEDED to prevent Scadrial from being destroyed.

The Cosmere at large proved to Kelsier that it would let an entire planet die at best and seek to destroy it at worst.

Despite all this, we see the Ghostbloods behave surprisingly cordially to people from other worlds. (Mraize is an ass but that's another topic.) Kelsier doesn't treat other worlds as enemies even when he's treating them as potential threats. His Scadrial first attitude doesn't seem to come from any kind of xenophobia, but because from his perspective SOMEBODY has to prioritize Scadrial or else it will die. And he isn't wrong.

[abalidoth]

what is cosmere? (is that what its called?)

The Cosmere is a big, interconnected fantasy universe that is the setting of most of the works by the author Brandon Sanderson. The cool thing about his books is that each series is contained to its own world, and you can read any of them in isolation without realizing you're missing anything, but if you read them all you get a sense of the larger plot happening behind the scenes as those worlds start to collide and things cross over.

Brandon's magic systems tend to be very rule-based and well-defined, with a lot of twists being characters finding interesting ways to use those rules of magic. This lends itself well to the crossovers, because all the magic systems (as different as they are) share the same underpinning principles.

Here's some quick rundowns of different series and standalones in the Cosmere:

The Stormlight Archive

Planned ten-book series, currently four books are out.

A massive sprawling epic about the world Roshar, that's hit by a hurricane about every four days, and all the life has adapted to survive that environment. Knights Radiant -- superpowered individuals with a close bond to a spirit -- are starting to re-emerge in the world after being absent for centuries.

Because there are so many characters, this is where a lot of the character fandom tends to focus their efforts. I wouldn't recommend starting with it, though -- the first book alone is a thousand pages. I'd wait until you have a sense of Brandon's writing. But it's very good.

Mistborn

One trilogy (completed), one tetralogy set a couple hundred years later (completed), two trilogies some time in the future.

One cool thing about this series is that it follows one world (Scadrial) from a vaguely Renaissance tech level in the first trilogy, to 1920s in the second series, and eventually 1980s in the third and space-age magic in the fourth.

The magic itself is very intricate and all woven around metals -- there are people called Metalborn who can ingest metals and burn them in their stomachs to get different effects, including super-senses, strength, and Magneto-ish metallokinesis. That last bit makes the gunfights in the second series particularly fun.

The first book is a heist novel about robbing a thousand-year-old God-Emperor blind. It's a pretty good place to start, although it's a pretty hefty novel to start with.

The Emperor's Soul

I'm putting this one in a different category from the rest of the one-offs for a very good reason -- it's, in my opinion, the single best place to start reading the Cosmere.

It's a novella (just over a hundred pages) about a forger named Shai who uses magic to rewrite the histories of objects. She is captured by the government of an empire to reforge the soul of their Emperor, who has been left braindead after an assassination attempt, in the 100 days before the mourning period is over.

It's a fantastic meditation on art, a cool introduction to the way Brandon writes both characters and magic systems, and Shai herself is one of my favorite Cosmere characters. If any of this sounds at all interesting to you, I recommend you check it out.

One-offs

Brandon has also written a bunch of one-off novels in the Cosmere.

Elantris: His first book, and the one that my tattoo is from. About a prince who is affected by a dark transformation and thrown into a city of fellow undead, and the princess betrothed to him who arrives just in time to be told he died. Good, but suffers from some first book issues, pacing problems, and weird plot cul-de-sacs. Set in the same world as The Emperor's Soul, although there's basically no crossover.

Warbreaker: About a world where souls (Breaths) are bought and sold, and used to animate objects to do work, ruled by The Returned, living gods who require a steady dose of Breaths to live. One of my favorites, and an essential if you'd like to get into the crossover-y parts of the cosmere, as it introduces a bunch of elements that show up later (Especially in Stormlight)

Tress of the Emerald Sea: The first of his wildly successful Kickstarter project books, it's a fairy tale style story about a girl who braves a sea of bubbling, deadly spores to rescue the man she loves. It's lovely, especially if you're into a more Diana Wynne Jones kind of vibe to your fantasy. Probably a pretty good place to start!

Yumi and the Nightmare Painter: The third Kickstarter book. About a shrine priestess who stacks rocks to draw spirits, and a man who paints the nightmares that roam the streets of his city to banish them -- they become trapped in each other's places and must learn about each other's worlds to survive. This is currently my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE cosmere novel, oh my GOD it's so good. I'm not sure it's a great place to start, as a lot of the conclusion might feel a bit rushed if you don't have a good feel for the vibe of how Brandon writes magic, but honestly it might stand alone just fine even then.

The Sunlit Man: Fourth Kickstarter book. I haven't read this one yet.

Novellas: There are a bunch of novellas and short stories, some set on worlds we haven't otherwise seen, some set on Roshar or Scadrial.

If any of this sounds good to you, I recommend you give his writing a shot. He's one of my all time favorite writers (the tattoo should prove that, lol) and the Cosmere fandom is by and large wonderful and welcoming. I've made many lifelong friendships there.

[foxoftamriel]

Mistborn AU where Ruin is the protagonist and Preservation is the antagonist

Ati was able to control Ruin a little bit more, channeling its Intent to destroy things that harmed humanity. But Preservation still did not like this destruction. He would rather humanity be harmed, but not destroyed, so long as everything in the universe stays stable with all its processes working smoothly. In his mind, Ruin is messing with the natural order of things, so he locks Ruin up. Preservation in this AU is more stable, so he continues to affect things around Scadrial to keep everything The Same. But Ruin was still trying to get out. Alendi and all that stuff happens, but Preservation uses Rashek killing Alendi for his own goals, manipulating him to create an empire without change. It doesn’t matter if people suffer, so long as everything is The Same.

Flash forward to the books, and Ruin manages to get enough of his power into the world to infuse Kelsier with some of it (fun morally good destruction guy, Ruin loves him). Kelsier notices he has some weird powers that he shouldn’t have, and it excites him, but it also freaks him it since he has no idea where it comes from. Eventually, an Inquisitor “accidentally” spikes him so Ruin can speak to him, explaining his plans. Kelsier is excited because a god trying to kill The Lord Ruler? Awesome! So he works with Ruin to kill Rashek. He still dies in this AU but becomes a Cognitive Shadow with Ruin’s Investiture, not Preservation’s.

Ruin figures out that in order to stop Preservation, they *both* need to be destroyed, so most from here on out goes similar to canon, with Harmony/Discord being created. Vin still has to take the power of Preservation to defeat Ruin, which really pisses Kel off.

[il3x]

alec on scadrial! what crimes will he commit?

fun facts!

Era 1 Mistborn AU, Heartbroken-centric. I wanted to draw Aisha and some other Heartbroken before posting this, but ran out of patience >.< don't worry though, they are coming! Based on this post and this post.

I'm torn on whether to transport Heartbreaker into this AU, or just make the Heartbroken Straff Venture's kids. He'd mess them up in a similar fashion.

Alec is a Rioter (can inflame people's emotions), but doesn't use Allomancy much to avoid drawing his family's attention. Instead, he is adept with poisons (he's the cooler Zane).

Weapon of choice is poisoned glass or obsidian throwing knives. The materials are because they look cool as non-metals, they can't be pushed around by Allomancy. The method is because inconveniencing and sometimes incapacitating enemies from the sidelines fits his combat style. I only remembered that Glass Exists after drawing this... he'd probably use that more often. For the aesthetic.

I want all the Heartbroken to operate in sniper-assassin capacity, so they all get ranged weapons. [Archer Cherie has consumed my brain.]

This is Alec infiltrating a ball, he dresses Slightly less fancy in everyday life but not by much. (He can't afford to simply replace his fancy clothes here, so he's a bit more careful with them than in canon.)

Alec gets scars @lakesbian edition because they helped me out with Alec's Mistborn-era fashion (ty :) ), but also because he was one of Heartbreaker/Straff's bastard children, raised as skaa, then used as Heartbreaker/Straff's private assassin, then lived on the streets at first after escaping. That leaves a literal mark.

it's SO HARD to draw mistborn alec without just drawing book 1 vin 😭😭 scrawny scarred androgynous french-adjacent 15yo kid with short black hair who wears a mistcloak and/or ballgowns at times? i see no difference

(alec does not have a mistcloak but aisha lets him run around in hers sometimes. for fun)

(if he was a mistborn he'd get a custom white mistcloak made. wouldn't wear it when stealth was required, but for Dramatics? absolutely)

[marvelousmagicalaura]

Thoughts on Mistborn: Shadows of Self

Shadows of Self is incredibly great, heartbreaking, and thought-provoking!

I'm hurt and confused. And I'm not sure how to feel, and I love it for that. Shadows of Self is completely different than its preceding book. It is different from even the Mistborn trilogy. There are themes of the stagnation of political systems, religious tension, the ethics and morals of what line God should, could, might have on interfering with the lives of his creations. After finishing off the book, I genuinely had no idea what to think about Harmony, Trell's puppeteering, Bleeder's campaign, or the state of Elendel.

Something that annoyed me about Era 2's books off the bat was the noble system. There's no state sponsored murder or rape, and the nobles are more like businessmen. But it still felt like nothing changed over the last 340 years. I kept thinking... wow, this is what Kelsier died for?! This is what Vin and Elend fought to protect?! I started off hating everyone - Harmony, the Senate, constables, Wax, even Spook - for not erasing the noble system. But while reading the book I kept thinking about Sazed's limitations due to wielding the Shard of Harmony, his stance on free will, his subtle maneuvering of Wax and Marasi... and kept thinking about real life. I came to the realization that being in the role of God comes with a lot of nuance on guiding mortals. I connected the stagnation of Elendel back to the history of the US... how even though centuries has passed, many abhorrent systems are masked by seemingly more human systems. Governments are still being controlled by nobles and aristocrats, just in a different flavor. Policing has so many issues it could take 1000 years to solve.

Even after finishing the book, I still think the noble system should've been completely erased. But now I'm thinking if that would've fundamentally changed things. The US doesn't have monarchs, nobles, slave plantations, or aristocrats. But corporations, billionaires, politicians, and the upper class get away with a lot, they find ways to obtain power and avoid accountability. Would Harmony be right if he gave the divine mandate of "I DECREE NO NOBLES FOR ALL OF TIME!" At that point is free will a choice?

I started off blaming Harmony for not making a democratic world with no nobles. Ended off having… weird feelings about him. Like... MeLann brings up a great point about the kandra impersonating witnesses to testify against people. If Harmony allowed that, that could be a dangerous precedent.

But then there's Bleeder. Bleeder is easily my favorite antagonist in the series. She's incredibly competent, her body horror is gruesome horrific, and her climax is depressingly tragic. May she rest in the Beyond. Poor Wax. This is the thing that has me feeling weird about Harmony. This hurts cuz of Sazed. Fuck Sazed. Fuck Sazed. I knew Harmony would’ve become a Chessmaster, but not like this. Sazed isn’t supposed to manipulate people. Sazed isn’t supposed to cause trauma to people 😭😢💔💔

But Sazed is, unfortunately, the Hero of Ages. Harmony seems to be foreseeing a great disaster caused by Trell. I’m pretty sure he’s trying to thread towards a future possibility that will save Scadrial from this disaster. He must think about the future of the entire world. It hurts that he moved Wax this way, but would there really have been any difference if he left Wax completely alone? The Set - puppets of a Shard of Adonalsium - would've subtly caused turmoil on Elendel. What if he told Wax he was hunting Lessie? TenSoon said it himself. Harmony saw the future, saw that Wax wouldn't go through with it. Bleeder - another puppet of a Shard - would've succeeded in her goals. Sure he could've maneuvered someone else, but it opens a new can of worms!

I love the hints of Trell being a far scarier antagonist than it appears. I love the advancements and possibilities of Hemalurgy Trell is responsible for. Shadows of Self does a far better job than The Hero of Ages presenting gray morality in the motives and plans of gods. It also does a far better job at presenting a smart and clever antagonistic deity. I think with the conflict between Ruin and Preservation, Sanderson wrote many things that made Ruin appear too much like "the bad guy." He can say Preservation has a dark side, but we never saw it. The one reprehensible thing Preservation could've been completely responsible for - the Deepness killing people - ended up being the result of his frayed mind. He could've been solely responsible for the Deepness covering the Sun and killing plants, but that ended up being caused by Ruin. Ruin spoke with too much malice and joy of killing all life and destroying everything. Apart from his attributes being fundamental aspects of life and the Universe, there was no possible way I could've seen his stance as having any sort of value. Sanderson also wrote too many things that made Ruin's planning so far behind Preservation's. Preservation felt like a Xanatosian genius even on his deathbed. Ruin was a petulant child. Ruin wasn't kind, or patient, or particularly clever, or have long-spanning schemes when Sanderson presented him in the spotlight. Don't even get me started on his futuresight lmao. And tbh I don’t get why Sanderson wrote a being of death and destruction as the opposite of stasis and stability. Is he trying to say in life and creation, everything either stays the same or everything dies?

I know that wasn’t his intent, but it came across that way. It’s haphazard in retrospect, and I don’t understand why that was the direction after the beauty of Kelsier’s rebellion. I still love the concept of Ruin and Preservation’s conflict, but I think it could’ve been much more developed. More nuanced. Ruin could’ve been far more of a Chessmaster or represented a different concept.

With Harmony and Trell... I'm not as certain who's the good or bad guy. And so far, Trell's schemes are genuinely complex, layered, and terrifying. Even the Set are scary.

Marasi grew a lot, as expected. Wayne didn't grow but he was still so much fun. Love the new dynamic of Wayne and MeLaan, who's also pretty great. ARADEL IS A MAN!!!

There wasn't much of Steris this book. But she vastly improved in such a short time! Feels like she hides a lot but is actually a warm person. Look at the ending 🥺

Well done, Sanderson. I give Shadows of Self ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5.

[lost-boys-chapter]

WaT spoilers but tell me why FELT BEING A GHOSTBLOOD CAUGHT ME SO OFF GUARD?? like in retrospect. it's so obvious. he's from scadrial, I believe he knew kel personally? and we know the shit scadrians are up to on roshar. considering that he probably knows a lot that readers don't, why wouldn't he join shallan's RoW mission with a secret purpose? and yet.... I would have trusted this man with my life...

[scienter]

Great interludes this week. It answered some questions I had. Of course, though Brandon being Brandon answers only raise more questions . . .

INTERLUDE 1: KALAK

What if the Ghostbloods sent others? Thaidakar wanted him. Thaidakar, a Herald from another world, a creature who was resourceful and brutal.

Kalak’s description of Kelsier as a Herald from another world is interesting. They’re both Cognitive Shadows, but the Heralds can do things that Kelsier cannot (e.g. take corporeal form). It’s interesting how Kelsier’s reputation as resourceful and brutal has permeated the Cosmere.

Immediately, the drapes from the window beside the door seized him, wrapping around him like two grasping hands, pulling him tight. They’d been cut into strange shapes. What was this? Some art of Stonewards? He panicked, but the cloth—moving on its own—filled his mouth. Like a constrictor from the old world, it bound him, tied around him, then slammed him against the wall and held him there.

Someone who can use BioChormatic breath. Hmm . . .

He was a foreigner, with long mustaches and a short stature. Pale skin, his hands laced before him. A floppy hat rested atop the desk. Kalak thought he recognized the man. A member of the caravan? One of Prince Adolin’s soldiers?

Who is this!?

The stranger rapped on the box, and the ball of light popped out. “We good, Felt?” it asked with a feminine voice.

FELT! We're finally getting a proper scene with Felt! He's always in the background, but of course there's a story there. He’s from Scadrial! What is he doing using BioChromatic Breathe?

“Domi!” the spren replied. “If I had to listen to one more lovers’ spat between those two—let alone one more makeup session—I would grow a stomach so I could vomit.”

I haven’t read Elantris in like 8 years. I can’t remember if Seons’ personality usually this colorful.

“There might not be a need,” Ala replied. “I’ve already relayed the information on Mishram’s location to Iyatil.” “And Lord Kelsier?” Felt said. “I don’t work for that masked witch.” “Him as well,” Ala said. “Obviously.” The spren hovered around Kalak’s head. “Do we use the dagger?”

Felt is a Ghostblood working for Kelsier!? Curiouser and curiouser  . . .

INTERLUDE 2:

“I have infinite capacity,” Odium whispered, his voice ragged. “I can see to the ends of the cosmere. I can see the lives of people great and small. I had thought this wonderful, with so much to experience, but now I find only suffering. Infinite capacity to see. Infinite capacity to feel. Infinite capacity for agony.” “Yes,” Cultivation said softly.

Be careful what you wish for . . .

“This is a curse,” he said, holding the dying child close. “I should be able to help them. Save them!” “You are forbidden,” Cultivation said, “from taking direct action against any who are not fully given to you.” “Because of the pact my predecessor made,” he spat. “I can break it.” “In so doing, you would be vulnerable to outside attack,” she said. “The powers bind us to our promises, particularly those made and sealed with a formal oath.” She crouched by him.

I needed a refresher on the Oathpact. I don’t remember all the details. . .

“What do we do instead?” Cultivation said. “You want me to say,” he whispered, “that we create systems—teachings, incentives—that encourage the right decisions. That we prevent war by building up societies where people choose peace. We prevent greed by nurturing governments where the greedy are held accountable. We take time, and we steer, but we do not dominate.” “Yes.”

Cultivation’s philosophy sounds like Sazed’s.

“I blame you,” he said, “because you should have done better. Eight thousand years, and you should have fixed this. All three of you.” “You can see the circumstances that prevented that.” “Your fault still. I can do better.”

Uh-oh. I see where this is going. Todium wants to dominate.

“Not until there is but one god,” Odium whispered.

History repeats itself.

 She had raised him up because the old Odium was becoming too violent, too willing to destroy everything as the emotions raged freely. This had been her only choice to prevent a much greater cataclysm.

Yeah, we all figured that Cultivation was behind this. I think she’s underestimating Taravangian though. I wouldn’t be surprised if Cultivation is splintered/dies by the end of the book.

He was Taravangian, the divided one—and he could save them. All of them.

"The divided one" reminds me of the “The broken one reigns” death rattle. 🤔

Yeah. I’m convinced Odium will win the contest of champions. I think Wind and Truth is going to have an Empire Strikes Back kind of ending.

[thestormlightnetwork]

I LOVE MISTBORN

I LOVE MISTBORN. I love how the hero of ages is hidden underneath our nose just until their reveal. I love how Wax would absolutely be on the lord ruler's side if he was alive 300 years before. I love how Sazed fought so hard to liberate the Skaa then went on to do the exact same thing as the lord ruler did, only with more illusion of choice. I love Vin's arc with womanhood throughout the original trilogy. I love seeing how time twisted her narrative to the point that when Marasi looks at her statues an era later, she doubts that the Ascendant Warrior ever experienced fear and self-doubt. I love Steris's journey in embracing her highly functional mind. I love how Wayne and Melaan were doomed from the start, knowing he is a mortal and she is a Kandra, yet they chose to love each other for a brief period anyway. I love how Sazed's arc in hero of ages paralelled Wax's arc in bands of mourning, both a biblical reference to the book of Job. I love how kelsier is an immoral and hypocritic man yet he still puts the safety of Scadrial on the top of his list.

[cosmererambles]

Kelsier Essay Part 5

Towards this part of the essay I was running out of steam. Some spelling errors and less professional language.

Hoid in the Well: Secret History

When it comes to this scene, I won’t argue that Kelsier was being extra here. The man has been cooped up in a 5x5 spot for a long time, with no answers and seriously questioning his logic at becoming what he’s become. His only companion is an insane, unraveling god who barely speaks most times he “visits.” So when an actual man comes by, floating on what looks to be a corpse, Kelsier is immediately on edge.

All quotes are taken from pages 228 – 233, of Part 2, Chapter 1, of Secret History.

“ “Who are you?” Kelsier asked, stepping to the edge of his prison, eyes narrowed. “A spirit?” “Alas,” the man said, “death has never really suited me. Bad for the complexion, you see.” He studied Kelsier, lips raised in a knowing smile. Kelsier hated him immediately.” “

Seen from Kelsier’s perspective, this is a man that knows things and is holding back. This is a schemeing, conniving man, that is similar to the nobles he’s dealt with all his life. It doesn’t help that Hoid and Kelsier have similar personalities. Note Hoid’s words, “bad for the complexion.” A similar line is used by Kelsier at the very beginning of TFE. 

“Fieldwork hasn’t ever really suited me.” Kelsier said. “It’s far too hard on my delicate skin.” (Prologue, page 6, TFE).

“Got stuck there, did you?” the man said. “In Ati’s prison…” He clicked his tongue. “Fitting recompense, for what you did. Poetic, even.” “What I did?” “Destroying the Pits, O Scarred one. That was the only perpendicularity on this planet with any reasonable ease of access.” Kelsier has no idea what a perpendicularity is. Yes, he destroyed it. Did he know what he was doing on a grand scale? No. He was, to his knowledge, destroying the Empire’s main economic driver. Hoid treats him like a criminal when Kelsier was fighting against an unjust Empire, one that Hoid is very familiar with, having been to Scadrial before. Calling him names doesn’t help.

“Who are you?” Kelsier said. “I?” The man said. “I am a driver. A miscreant. The flame’s last breath, made of smoke at it’s passing.” “That’s…needlessly obtuse.” Well said, Kelsier. Hoid plays games, this we know from dealing with him in Stormlight. However, with Kaladin and Shallan he gives half answers, or none at all, in a playful, non-demeaning way. Here he’s laden with vitriol and spite, for no good reason. It gets worse.

“And you claim to not be dead?” “If I were, would I need this?” the Driver said, knocking his oar against the front of his small loglike vessel. [Kelsier notices Spanky for the first time, not knowing what a cognitive shadow just is yet.] “A corpse,” he whispered. “Oh Spanky here is just a spirit. It’s damnably difficult to get about in this subastral—anyone physical risks slipping through these mists and falling, perhaps forever. So many thoughts pool together here, becoming what you see around, and you need something finer to travel over it all.” “That’s horrible.” “Says the man who built a revolution on the backs of the dead. At least I only need one corpse.” Hoid is being ridiculous here. Yes, Spanky is a cognitive shadow, but as I’ve stated, Kelsier has no idea what that is. To his knowledge, this man is riding a corpse around. Hoid is also forgetting that the people Kelsier murdered were far less than innocent; Kelsier can make distinctions here. A rapist and murderer who regularly abuses his peasants is different from a corpse used to wade down a lake of thoughts.

Kelsier folded his arms. This man was wary—thought he spoke lightheartedly, he watched Kelsier with care, and held back as if contemplating a method of attack.

Note the diction here; Kelsier is reading Hoid’s body language as he should; Hoid is planning to use the well to gain purchase in the spiritual realm and take that bead of Lerasium. He isn’t planning anything wrong per se, but Kelsier has no way of knowing that. All Kelsier sees is a man preparing to attack.

“He wants something, Kelsier guessed. Something that I have, maybe? No, he seemed legitimately surprised that Kelsier was there. He had come here, intending to visit the Well. Perhaps he wanted to enter it, access the power? Or did he, perhaps, just want to have a look at the thing Beyond?”

Wrong guesses, but good ones all the same for an ignorant man. Hoid does want something. So far, Kelsier’s waryness is completely justified. He tries to be polite, asking a simple question. “Well, you’re obviously resourceful,” Kelsier said. “Perhaps you can help me with my predicament.” “Alas,” The Driver said. “Your case is hopeless.” Kelsier felt his heart sink. “Yes, nothing to be done,” the Driver continued. “You are, indeed, stuck with that face. By manifesting those same features on this side, you show that even your soul is resigned to you always looking like one ugly sonofa—" “Bastard!” Kelsier cut in. “You had me for a second.”

Instead of even offering Kelsier a crumb of help, he instead insults him, for…very little reason. Hoid rarely kicks people when they’re down; he instead punches up. We notice this with the Rosharan nobility. He doesn’t insult the peasant waitstaff. Why is he insulting Kelsier? There is no reason to do so; he’s just being an ass to be an ass. Kelsier hasn’t even mouthed off yet.

So far Hoid has treated him like an inferior, insulted him and been “needlessly” obtuse, all while showing suspicious body language. Is it any wonder Kelsier is on edge and ready to defend the Well? He knows it’s for Vin; he means to protect it until she can have it.

The two go back and forth for some time, speaking of Kelsier’s bastard nature, skaa versus nobility, and Hoid applying some (I believe it to be dor, but I’m not sure) glowing stuff to his oar. (in an effort to prevent it from de-manifesting). As they speak, Hoid edges closer to the well. Kelsier has been watching him this entire time.

He begins to ask a question again, despite Hoid’s rudeness. “Is there a way to escape this prison?” Kelsier asked. “How about this?” the Drifter said. “We’ll have an insult battle. Winner gets to ask one question, and the other has to answer truthfull. I’ll start. What’s wet, ugly, and has scars on it’s arms?” Another insult to an innocent question, and now Kelsier is very on edge. He’s obviously deflecting. So Kelsier decides to be as extra as possible in an effort to scare him away. Now, a cognitive shadow would, realistically, be as scary as an earthworm to Hoid if it’s not on Threnody, but Kelsier doesn’t know this. Which is why he brings out his “I’m-going-to-murder-you” routine that goes into lurid detail and leaves Hoid speechless. Kelsier even throws in a shrug.

Hoid then dives for the well, and Kelsier grabs him, determined to disable him, kill him, or just prevent him from doing whatever he wants to do in the well. Which leads to their fight, where Kelsier does zero damage to Hoid and Hoid proceeds to torture him incessantly as a “lesson.” He did not need to go as far as he did. If Hoid had been truthful with who he was, what he was after, and perhaps offered explanations, Kelsier would have been less inclined to act rashly. Instead, Hoid is needlessly obtuse, rude, mocking, condescending and tortures him.

It makes his words at the end of RoW amusing to me, as Hoid cheats in this fight and was the aggressor in every definition of the word. Hoid strikes first by the very fact he jumped for the Well. Kelsier was merely defending it.

“Deal with your own stupid planet, you idiot. Don’t make me come there and slap you around again.” (Chapter 115, page 1238, RoW).

Kelsier, The Ghostbloods, and the Malwish: Era 2, The Lost Metal, and SLA

It has been brought to my attention that, despite everything I outlined, I neglected to mention anything about Kelsier’s actions after the events of SH. We know very little: He had a pile of inquistor spikes that he and Spook experimented with. (Some people think he went spiking metalborn willy nilly, but these people are wrong, it doesn’t make sense, especially when metalborn were necessary to rebuild society.) We know he went and saved the entire Malwish people from extinction. I think this is a key point people forget. They were quite literally freezing to death in 60 degree (F) weather. They were forgotten by Sazed, a fan favorite whom everyone agrees is a great guy. Sazed just…didn’t care enough to help them. Kelsier created the incisors and unkeyed bronze minds and saved this entire race. 

Some people say “Well, they worshipped him and he was their leader.” If someone came and miraculously used technology you didn’t understand to save you, you would feel indebted to them too. It was a natural human emotion. Kelsier ran them for several years before leaving. He created the Bands of Mourning. (This is still under debate, by the way. I cannot give you answers how he did this.), hid them away. (Possibly because they didn’t work for him and giving them to someone else was extremely dangerous.) and left. After this he founded the Ghostbloods. I have another document that outlines the Ghostbloods and their machinations throughout SLA, and proved that while the Rosharan Ghostbloods aren’t all that nice, they certainly aren’t evil as a whole. Mraize and Iyatil are definitely villainous, and the organization on Roshar does it’s own thing, loosely following Kelsier’s orders. I doubt everything they do reaches his ears: Explain to me why Mraize would brag to his boss about chasing and imprisoning a young girl, while also bargaining with malicious occupiers. All Kelsier wanted to access to the oathgates, which Mraize successfully got. There was no need to inform of how he did it. Word reaches Kelsier regardless. It doesn’t matter how hard Mraize works at keeping his actions underwraps.

On Scadrial, Kelsier is far more in control, and his agents are far more benevolent. They have a bond; Kaise even refers to him as “Kell.” which is infers a level of intimacy (Friends, not lovers, you gutterbags) that harkens back his old thieving crew days. He’s very involved in the goings on of his planet, and cares deeply.

I’m not going to

To tie this long, rambling, and somewhat insane essay up, Kelsier is not a psychopath. He fits only one of the criteria, and only somewhat fits another. Since one needs to fit three of the traits in order to be diagnosed, the man is free from ASPD. Through the essay, I have showcased his empathy, his understanding, his patience, his trust, and his love of those around him. Hell, he says as much in Secret History when wandering, his soul cracking from loneliness. He’s a flawed man; he can be arrogant, egotistical, and impulsive, but he wants what is best for his people. This is not an argument whether Kelsier is a 10/10 moral blorbo. He’s not that. He’s not Kaladin, he’s no NuDalinar, he’s not Adolin. Why do people want him to be? The man was born in a society that was kill or be killed. His mother was forcibly murdered when they found out she was Skaa. This essay is meant to showcase why he doesn’t fit the criteria for being a psychopath. 

[cosmerelists]

Rock Reviews Food From Across the Cosmere

As requested by anon. :)

Somehow, Rock has gotten access to all of the Cosmere food I could find on Coppermind! Let's see what he thinks...

1. Pop'ems (fried donuts, basically, from Komashi)

Rock: Fried dough, fried, covered in this sticky sugar? Rock: Is what Airsick lowlanders would call women's food, yes? Rock: Too sweet and too soft, I say! Could use some spice and some crunch. Rock: Put some spicy cremling claws on this, and it would be a banger!

2. Design's Noodles (from Komashi)

Rock (to Design): I see that you are a fellow cook, worthy of admiration. Rock: The seasoning is masterful, and though it's a bit thin, I cannot deny taste! Perhaps we should cook together sometime? Design: Thanks! I measure all of my spices by counting out individual grains! Rock: ... Rock: Never mind I think we are natural enemies. 

3. Kulunut bread, steamed (Lumar)

Rock: For a bread made when all other ingredients are rotten, this is not bad! Rock: Is not good, but also is not bad. Tress: Here is what we were all eating before that. Rock: ... Rock: I would like to revise previous statement--you are an airsick genius. Tress Thanks I guess!

4. Tektees spiced rice (Nalthis)

Rock: Yes! Classic, warm, spicy--no complaints! Rock: I would not be ashamed to serve this to my friends!

5. Tinkfans (small sweet pastry, eat a piece of bread in between) (Nalthis)

Rock: Eh, is too sweet again. Rock: And what's the point of the plain bread in between? There's nothing I want to clean my palate for!

6. Baywrap (bay leaves stuffed with barley & veggies) (Scadrial)

Rock: Ah, it is like chouta! Rock: Only there is no meat. Rock: Or much in the way of spice. Rock: Or sauce. Rock: ... Rock: Is like a sad, unhappy chouta!

7. Logshine (beer that Wax likes) (Scadrial)

Rock: (shrugs) Weak, but what else can you expect from airsick lowlanders?

8. RaiDomo Mai ("meat with fiery skin" meat & veggies, peppers, in red sauce) (Sel)

Rock: Now THIS is a food! Rock: You can tell is good by the scary color!

9. Weed Soup (healthy & bad) (Sel)

Rock: So...this one is a punishment, right? Sarene: I think it's to lose weight. Rock: Yes--is what I said.

10. Garha (hot caffeinated drink) (Sel)

Rock: Ah, I think if I served this to my friends, they would fly much faster and higher! Rock: Looping all over the sky, playing with the sky eels... Rock: We gotta import this one!

[zephrunsimperium]

Y'all... I have another AU ToT Bill got to be a human so naturally I made a completely different universe in which Ford is a demon. The brainrot is real and I wanna post stuff here soooooo

What I love about this AU is that I’ve put the twins in a world where their skill sets are valued at opposite levels than they were on earth. But I will say, this AU has developed so much that it's barely recognizable as having started from GF.

TW for death of a pregnant woman, spousal abuse/toxic relationships

Zeph's Demon Ford AU

Part I: Mortality

Stan is the leader of a thieving crew in an apocalyptic world called Scadrial. (I've based this part off of the world in Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn trilogy, but although I recommend it highly, I'll describe all of this so nobody has to have read it to understand.) As for Ford... He and Stan aren’t identical. Ford never bulks up like he does in canon. He likes to read and write but doesn't have much of an outlet for that - he’s just constantly journaling. He’s very quiet, but very spiteful. He doesn’t speak much and is very sickly and awkward. He also doesn’t sleep much so he’s got really sunken dark eyes behind longish dirty hair.

Stan obviously loves Ford very much, but the crew members are kinda pissed that he’s there because they feel like he doesn’t do anything and yet he gets paid for their work. At one point his journal gets stolen and he’s outed for his crush on one of the (male) crew members. This really weakens Stan’s reputation and the crew pulls a coup.

The twins end up on the streets and Ford just feels awful; he was utterly humiliated and the crew members really roughed him up. He hated feeling so weak. He also starts having awful nightmares; he's being targeted by a dream demon named Korro. The demon repeatedly asks Ford to make a deal with her, but Ford refuses again and again. Ford ends up killing a nobleman; for his pocket change, but really to prove something to himself. The noble's murder attracts the attention of law enforcement and he and Stan are captured. Before they're executed, Ford decides to take the demon's deal.

Part II: Fiddleford

Ford and Stan spend years as the demon's servant, until Ford is able to overthrow her, taking her power for himself. He received the powers of the dream demon and Stan received the power of a shapeshifting illusionist. They were left with a problem, however: if Sixer didn’t get enough worship, both he and Stan would die. Taking the name Sixer to separate himself from his younger, weaker self, he devised a strategy where he would find a mortal to seduce, squeeze all the worship he could out of them, kill them, and live off of the power until he needed to find someone else.

Eventually, Sixer started conning Fiddleford McGucket, a newly wed cattle driver in 1880s Texas. He preyed on Fiddleford’s closeted sexuality and faith, posing as an angel sent from god to help cure his sexual deviance. Fiddleford, however, took longer to con than most and Sixer was forced to spend more time with the man. Out of jealousy, he poisoned a pregnant EmmaMay, getting Fiddleford all to himself.

Sixer decided he had spent far too much time and energy on Fiddleford to murder him like the others - and growing up with very little as a child had made Sixer VERY territorial. Before Fiddleford could find out that Sixer had lied about being an angel, he convinced Fiddleford to give him his soul and make him immortal, gifting him the power to control memory and a body made of vegetation.

Fiddleford would spend the next century trying to justify…. Everything. Sure Sixer had lied and had been trying to con him, but he was clearly being given special treatment compared to Sixer's other victims. Sure he only admitted he loved him when he was intoxicated but he did love him! Sixer's drunken rants about his childhood and peeks into his memory only made him seem more redeemable.

(Stan, in case you’re curious, just eventually learned to do his own thing, scamming people on the internet by pretending to be a gamer girl named StaZ. He talked to Fiddleford one on one a lot but Sixer had changed so much, any interaction he had with him usually ended in a shouting match. Unable to leave, Stan just tries to keep his head down and enjoy what little he can)

Part III: Bill

While Sixer grew resentful of Fiddleford’s clinginess, Fiddleford grew resentful of Sixer’s unfair treatment. Eventually, he murdered one of Sixer’s targets in self defense, cutting off his worship supply. In retaliation, Sixer picked up a recently reincarnated Bill Cipher (from after the canon Weirdmageddon events) to make Fidds jealous.

Excited about the prospect of winning over a different Stanford with sticking it to a different Fiddleford as an added bonus, Bill agreed to the hook up and ended up convincing Sixer to get rid of Fiddleford entirely. Sixer hated the fact that his soft spot for Fidds had made him weak and Bill offered to fix the problem of his worship supply's connection to his mortality so it seemed a fair trade.

Sixer's regret for killing his unofficial consort was strong, but he tried his hardest to push it down. The regret grew, however, into resentment for Bill and Sixer decided to overthrow Bill the same way he did his old demon master. Bill figured out early that Sixer was planning something like this, but - unwilling to accept the idea of losing Ford a second time - denial prevented him from taking any course of action against Sixer's machinations. Until, that is, they grew too hard to ignore and Sixer exploded about how killing Fiddleford was the worst mistake he ever made.

Enraged by a second betrayal, Sixer met the same fate by Bill's hand that Fiddleford had met by Sixer's own.

(And Stan lived happily ever after)

[orestes-hungry-and-pylades-sober]

Marsh was an incredibly skilled Seeker even before he became an Inquisitor. He’s had well over three hundred years to practice, he has the power boosted by a spike for bronze, and he can burn duralumin.

Consider: he can sense not only allomancy, but whenever a feruchemist is filling or tapping a metalmind. He can sense whenever a new hemalurgic spike is made or put into someone. He travels so much and has such a powerful range that he can, given enough time, track down the usage of investiture nearly anywhere on Scadrial.

But he can also sense surgebinding, or soulstamping, or any other use of foreign magics. If it’s on Scadrial, he knows about it.

And sure, there are the Ghostbloods, but they have their rules and structure and Kelsier’s insufferably large ego, and besides, they protect the planet from the big grand threats like the Set or other shards.

Marsh, though. He works on his own, and is powerful and efficient. He confronts worldhoppers on arrival if he thinks they’re a threat, and watches them carefully even if they’re not. He investigates anything new or strange. You can’t hide investiture on Scadrial from him.

And so, the rumors spread. Tales of Ironeyes, the supernatural, superpowerful watcher. Of course rumors of him have been heard of him on other planets, like Khriss says in the LM Ars Arcanum, because how could they not?

Just, Marsh as the guardian of Scadrial.