#AND A LYRIC OF ‘WHY AM I SO ATTRACTED TO YOU’ PLAYED!?!??!?

[a-dotrivenitupontop]

why did the gayest goddamn shit just happen on house of lies

[caitlinclarkluver22]

~ Please Please Please ~ P.B a fanfic ( sfw)

inspired by the song by sabrina carpenter

pov: smart!fem! reader x player! paige bueckers

an: so this is my first paige bueckers fanfic, the intros kinda long, but i think it came out pretty good, but there is gonna multiple parts to this, so just let me know if you’d like another one.

remember blue is flashback and purple is lyrics!!

warnings: mention of alcohol, cheating, lying, and mention of sex

“ i know i have good judgment, i know i have good taste. it’s funny and it’s ironic that only i feel that way.”

you’re a senior in college at uconn, your mostly known for being the smartest person in your classes, never failing one grade, getting higher than a 90 at all times, 85 on your bad days.

you were in calculus, to you it was light work. you didn’t really need to study often, having amazing memory and overall good attention span in class.

since you already completed 2 years of college in highschool, having your associates degree, you were already looking forward to getting your bachelor’s degree this year.

————————————————————————

you were collecting your stuff of the desk, putting it in you book bag, ready to go take a break from the series of classes you had just taken.

as you were walking out of the room, you heard someone call your name.

it was your teacher, professor zamora.

“ hey, your the one with all the good test scores right?” , he asked knowing but just wanted to make sure, to ask for a favor.

“ yes…. i am”, you shyly responded, a little nervous at the sudden attention.

“ okay good, so since you have the best grades in the class right now, i was wondering if you were free for another class period.”

free? another class period? what is he trying to imply? i know i might look naive and small, but I’m not stupid to know what men want. i am lesbian after all. although i had my suspicions, i trusted my professor.

“ yes i actually am. why professor?”

“ great! i was just wondering because my next class period is algebra, and….lets just say ive had them for a few years now…anyways, they need help. just pick the one you want and you can tutor them.” , he said praying that she would agree.

although she did have a break for the next two hours, she could spend one of them helping someone, it’s the right thing to do.

“ yes of course! i’m willing to tutor anyone that needs my help.”, you say enthusiastically, ready to help people be the best they could be.

“ great! just come back in around 30 minutes, and by then they should be here.”, your professor said, thankful for your help.

“ okay i got you.” , you said walking out of class, going to grab a bite to eat.

————————————————————————

after the short thirty minutes pass by, you start walking back to the class, praying that this goes well.

as you make your entrance through the door, you see a familiar face.

shes a blonde, tall, blue eyed girl walking to her desk, a purple nike elite backpack on her back (that looks fairly empty ), and a slow sluggish walk .

you could tell who it was from a mile away, it was paige bueckers.

THE paige bueckers.

you noticed her since in your free time u went to go watch the basketball games, cheering for your favorite player on the team, paige obviously. although you went to almost every game, you went unnoticed by her, standing in the back of the crowd just admiring how she played.

you weren’t a mega fan.

you totally didn’t scroll on tiktok, looking and saving the edits you’d find. damn she’s so attractive…

‘ah ah ah, no liking her. she’s in algebra. she’s obviously not smart, not to be mean of course. just observing.’ , you think to yourself as you look around the room, waiting for everyone to take their seats.

it wasn’t only about academics. paige was also known for hopping around from girl to girl, you know this since a couple of your friends had their fair share of dating her.

you were awoken late at night by a loud knock at your door. who could be awake this late?

as you opened the door, you came to a sad sight.

there your friend, lilly, was crying at your doorstep.

she was sobbing, her eyes swollen , puffy, and red due to the amount of uncontrollable tears.

you knew what…or should i say who this was about.

over the course of 2 months, your friend was on and off with her situationship, paige. lilly didnt know wether her and paige were a thing or not, she never knew what paige’s next move would be, little did she know that her next move would be completely ghosting her and pretending like she didn’t exist.

“ i just- i just don’t know what i did wrong. i mean i bought her things, i spent time with her, i supported her at all her games. every single one. how could i be so stupid? i’m literally one of the smartest people in this whole college and im not smart enough to realize that a girl is totally playing me.” , she sobbed grasping onto you like her life depended on it.

“ it’s okay lilly it’s okay, you deserve better.”

although lilly was your friend, karmas a bitch, she should’ve known better, if she had a wish, she would’ve never fucked around with paige ( LMAOOO ).

lilly, yes got hurt, but she was a bad person. in her past she was known for cheating, lying, and stealing. well stealing other people’s hearts of course. she would talk to them, make them fall in love, then drop them after they bought her a gift of some sort.

another one of your well known friends, keisha, always hooked up with paige. whenever paige was bored, she’d text keisha a good “ u up?” late night text , and keisha would be at her dorm room in no time, ready to have good sex.

of course, they weren’t your friends anymore, you realized soon after that lilly was a bad influence since she lied and cheated, while keisha was just to influenced in alcohol and hook up culture.

in essence, this girl was bad news, and she only liked the bad girls, so you’d obviously have to stay far far away from her….

————————————————————————

“ so how do you find x if you don’t have y?”

fuck my life.

“ paige, it’s not that hard. really. i learned this shit in seventh fucking grade, and you can’t get it. look let me show you….again.”, you said irritably, getting impatient by the second. you felt like you’ve taught her over a thousand times.

you guys were in her dorm, on her purple comforter, you were trying to teach her the literal easiest shit ever, and she couldn’t comprehend it. ugh she’s like a toddler.

“ so to find out x i have to add y and…what again?”

kms.

“ UGHHH paigeeeee”, you said, hands in your hair , frustrated with the stupidity this girl had. how could she be so smart on the court, yet so dumb when it came to math?

“ please, i need help, if i don’t pass this then i can’t play basketball. and we both really know how much i love basketball. it’s my everything. please?”, she said, her player facade fading away, showing her true and vulnerable self.

ugh those eyes….

“ …one more time paige. just try your best to get it. concentrate.”

paige nodded and smiled at her, looking down at the paper to attempt to grasp the information that she had trouble with.

————————————————————————

“ I ACED IT”, paige screamed, jumping up and down.

“ REALLY?”, you said eyes wide.

“ YES YES YES, omg i’m so happy right now!”, paige said , her eyes showing the pure raw excitement paige had.

paige then unexpectedly embraced you in a hug, it catching you off guard, but nonetheless, you hugged back.

if you knew the hug was wrong…..why did it feel so right?

you guys stood there for a solid minute, embracing eachother. you inhaled, smelling the sweet scent she radiated.

“ okay well i gotta go”, you said, sad knowing that this would be the last time that u had an excuse to spend time with her.

“ yea- um same.”, she said, giving u a slightly forced smile.

as you were walking away , sadness filling ur heart, u heard someone shout your name.

it was paige.

“ hey um, what about i take you to dinner?..you know just to thank you for all the work you’ve done to help me of course.”, she said with a hopeful look, her bright blue eyes illuminating like the pacific ocean.

how could i say no to those eyes?

“ um..you know what…yea of course. tommorow at 9 sounds good?”, you said , happier than you’d like to admit.

“ i promised’em that your different, and everyone makes mistakes. but just don’t.”

“ i’m telling you, you shouldn’t surround yourself around her, she’s a bad influence! she literally broke your ex friends hearts! both of them! paige isn’t a good girl to fall in love with.”, dominique one of your most recent friends said, stressed out about your love life right now.

“ i mean, she asked me out to dinner…”

“….she what? don’t tell me you said yes…”

“ i said yes.”

————————————————————————-

“ don’t bring me to tears when i just did my makeup so nice.”

you finished up your final touches in your makeup, when u got a text message.

pb and j

hey pretty girl

i’m here

i’m going.

as you came out your dorm, paige was there at your door checking her breath, startled by your sudden appearance, she smiled awkwardly, bringing up lego roses to your face.

how did she know that i didn’t like real flowers? and that i love legos?

your heart warmed at the sight, smiling at her, full teeth on display.

“ thank you paige, you shouldn’t have, really.”, you said, almost feeling bad that she spent money on you that she shouldn’t have.

“ no no no it’s my pleasure honestly.” , she said with a grin, sighing , relieved that you liked the gift.

“ let’s get going?”, you said.

“ whoever is last is the rotten egg!”, she yelled loudly, before running down the hall making her way down the stairs.

————————————————————————

“i heard your an actor, so act like a stand-up guy. whatever devils inside you, don’t let him out tonight.”

they’re at the restaurant, it’s way fancier than you expected. the waiter sat you guys down, and now both of you are looking at the menu.

when the waiter comes back, both of you agreed on chicken alfredo, and both of you got dr. pepper.

you guys start making conversation, talking about the things you didn’t know about eachother , and your goals in life.

————————————————————————

as you guys finished with your delicious meal, you decided that it was time to leave and go home. it was getting late after all.

as both of you walked out, the moon shining bright on your faces, the date unfortunately coming to an end, you guys talked a bit more, laughing at eachother jokes.

“ well that was fun.”, paige said, laughing, her teeth as bright as the stars.

“ yea it really was…”, you say with a smile on your face that couldn’t be removed no matter how hard you tried. a smile so permanent that it ached.

you guys gazed into eachothers eyes, her eyes taking a trip down to your lips, slowly bringing them back to your eyes once again.

“ paige i-“

you got cut off by paige, as she brought her lips to yours, sealing the night in a fond memory of the kiss you shared, the kiss that was between the two of you.

after a while, you opened your eyes and looked at her. she had her goofy smile on, looking at you with….i think love…? no couldn’t be. just lust.

“ um we should do this again. “

say no say no.

“ yes of course”, you said with a smile.

“ okay well…see you later. i’ll text you! “, paige said as she back peddled to her car, winking at you, before running to the vehicle .

god she’s such a goof.

as you got in your car, you only had one thought while having your head on the wheel, thinking about all the occurrences that had happened over the past few months. even though you knew it might end up bad, you couldn’t help but think…

please please please, don’t prove em right.

————————————————————————

WOOHOOO I FINISHED IT DONT PLAYYY!!! i was literally working on this for hours and my friend dominique was helping me with it too( literally love her )!! anyways hope you enjoy and make sure to lmk if yall want a second part or not!!! 💕💕 sorry if it’s bad ik i misspelled a couple i think and definitely misworded but not so bad to the point where you won’t get it. LOVE YAAA!!!💕

[undying-love]

Would two guys who were just friends write these kind of lyrics?

John

"I was feeling insecure; You might not love me anymore. [...] I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry that I made you cry. I didn't want to hurt you. I'm just a jealous guy." (Jealous Guy, 1971)

"Today I love you more than yesterday. Right now, I love you more right now." (I Know, I Know, 1973)

"Was I just dreaming or was it only yesterday? I used to hold you in my arms? [...] Why must we be alone?" (Real Life demo, 1977)

"Now and then, I miss you. Now and then, I want you to be there for me. Always to return to me." (Now And Then, 1977)

"It's time to spread our wings and fly. Don't let another day go by, my love, it'll be just like starting over." (Just Like Starting Over, 1980)

"Why don’t we… do it in the road?! A little hotel where we used to screw. A little place down in Montauk." (Just Like Starting Over, studio recording, 1980)

Paul

"Dear friend, throw the wine. I'm in love with a friend of mine." (Dear Friend, 1971)

"Tell me why do you treat me so bad? You're the best friend, a man ever had. [...] I wake up in the morning, I'm still dreaming 'bout you. Tell you, pretty baby, I'm blue. I wake up in the evening, I'm still screaming out over you."(Best Friend, 1972)

"Every night I would call, your number brought me joy. I called your house, every night since then. But I ain't never, no no never heard you calling me. Come on and call me back again." (Call Me Back Again, 1974)

"You couldn't have done a worse thing to me, If you'da taken an arrow and run it right through me. [...] It could have been a finer fling. Would have been a major attraction with no other thing offering a note of distraction. " (Arrow Through Me, 1979)

"I still remember how it was before, and I am holding back the tears no more. Ooh, I love you. What about the time we met? Well, I suppose that you could say that we were playing hard to get. [...] What about the night we cried? Because there wasn't any reason left to keep it all inside." (Here Today, 1982)

"Did I ever take you in my arms, look you in the eye, tell you that I do, [...] Did I ever touch you on the cheek, say that you were mine, thank you for the smile [...] If I never did it, I was only waiting for a better moment that didn't come. There never could be a better moment than this one. What opportunities did we allow to flow by, feeling like like the timing wasn't quite right?What kind of magic might have worked if we had stayed calm? Couldn't I have given you a better life?" (This One, 1989)

-----‐----------------------------

(Note: For more info about Arrow Through Me and why it might be about John, check out this post: https://www.tumblr.com/undying-love/745845642958700544/is-arrow-through-me-about-john?source=share)

[ame-perduexx]

Astrology Observations🦋

*as always* take what you want, leave what you want

*based only on my personal experiences with people with these placements*

🧚🏻cancer venus: if you've ever felt love from a cancer venus then i hope you know how special it can be. does it feel like love-bombing at times? sure. But i find it beautiful how unabashedly they throw themselves into someone they like. can it be suffocating to someone who isn't fully ready to commit? sure. but its impossible not to root for them.

🧚🏻taurus venus: wonderful, incredible, sensational style sense. thrift shop royalty. impeccable taste. can look good in anything - simply because it looks like a carefully curated outfit when in reality it took them probably 5 mins to throw together.

🧚🏻gemini venus: attracted to people who show them endless fascination. enjoys playing questions games to get to know people. knowing someones favorite color or season may seem pointless but they genuinely find a person's answers interesting.

🧚🏻as a fixed sign .... i have found i clash the most with cardinal signs. they infuriate me to no end. I enjoy the dynamic nature of mutable signs more.

🧚🏻Leo sun/moon: listen....even when you meet one and they tell you: "i'm like the most un-leo, leo ever! I hate being the center of attention!" they are LYING. either to you or themselves or both. i understand why taurus get the bad rep for being stubborn but leo's are stubborn in the way they believe they fully are the best person in the room at all times....which in a way i am almost envious of them? they have a kind of self-love that is unflinching.

🧚🏻virgo suns: make extremely well bosses. are very diplomatic and fair in how each worker is treated and never takes anything personal.

🧚🏻Sagittarius suns: for some reason.... the ones i have met and been around (ones who all identify as women) present themselves as extremely proper and pious in social settings. they love to be seen as the most put together one - especially in work-place. quiet in work environment ... but will talk your ear to death if you're sitting next to them at a dinner party

🧚🏻*trigger warning for SA* 🧚🏻scorpio placements. particularly sun,moon and mars. experience deep sexual trauma. over and over and over again in their life. started at an early age. continues to be taken advantage of throughout their lives. easy for them to associate self-worth with being sexually desired in a negative way. doesn't trust a person if they seem innocent at first, it always turns into some form of a violation.

🧚🏻gemini placements: listen to more lofi style music or instrumental. music without lyrics.

🧚🏻gemini moons: i know i've said this before in a post, and its a common understanding with gemini placements, but they genuinely are extremely talented with foreign languages. learn them quickly. hear them spoken for a while and can pick it up naturally.

🧚🏻moon opposite saturn: i'm so sorry. i know how hard it is. the depression, the anxiety, the constant self-doubt. you are truly your own worst enemy. i'm sending every person with this placement all my love.

🧚🏻libra sun & moon: have i ever truly had a deep convo with these placements? no. do i still love their company? yes. but it tends to feel surface level with them. they are not talented in expressing their thoughts in a spoken or written way without it sounding....childish. maybe its just me .... either way they would still be the first person I invite to my party. they make me laugh. maybe it's their childish naive view of the world i love. maybe I wish i could see it that way.

[houpss]

Relationships with SKZ

🧊–return to masterlist ¡! ✥

BANG CHAN+HWANG LILY (Chanly):

To begin with, she was deeply in love with him and Now she feels great affection for him, she literally cannot live without him for a second.

She literally fell in love with Chan because he was so kind to her while they were trainees.

Very cute and soft duet.

Lily helped Chan a lot with his self-esteem and self-acceptance, they did a great job together.

And Chan is always there when Lily has anxiety attacks or panic attacks, he's always there.

She is his regular guest in the Chan's room (more on that later)

Very popular pairing!!! (hyunlix, minsung and chanly almost three main ways )

She cried every time he said something bad to himself.

She takes him shopping, because Chan doesn’t really like this business.

The NOT funniest jokes that only they laugh at .

Mmm, she loves Chan's curls, plays with them every chance she gets.

bro...they're literally dating, don't you get it? THEY'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP

How did it happen?

Literally one phrase from Lily one cold and bad evening changed everything

Nicknames for the Chan (in phone):Channie wife 🌹

Nicknames for the Lily (in phone): Teddy Lily 🐻❤️

LEE KNOW+HWANG LILY (Limin):

Minho was extremely annoyed that Lily would be in a MAN group.

Constant joint training brought them closer, very close.

In front of the cameras, they tease each other and literally mock each other, but outside the cameras...

Outside of cameras and public life, they are together, they love each other

bro...they are like brother and sister. they love each other so much

Lily is very attracted to him

Dance duet. THEY DANCED THE TROUBLE MAKER (what Hyunjin and Minho danced)

Small acts of caring.

He holds her hand in public, this is the norm.

They watch anime or cook together (that's why they live in the same dorm)

So much sarcasm.

Lily mom sunidunidori.

A couple of volunteers and a couple of sincerity

Nicknames for Lee Know (in phone): cat lover 🐈‍⬛

Nicknames for Lily (in phone): annoying lady 👾

SEO CHANGBIN+HWANG LILY (Binli):

THEY BECAME FRIENDS RIGHT AFTER CHANGBIN JOINED JYP.

Lily can just walk up to him and start screaming and Changbin will scream back.

They eat together and always eat.

She makes fun of Changbin because of his height, and Changbin is indignant.

Changbin steals Lily's cookies.

the noisiest in the group and in the company.

Changbinie teaches Lily women's choreography.

Lily dies at the sight of his muscles.

"My little dwaekki is lives in the gym???"

They're just fun and noisy.

Sometimes they write song lyrics together.

Nicknames for Changbin (in phone):Changbin 🐽🐰

Nicknames for Lily (in phone):LILYYYY ❤️

HWANG HYUNJIN+HWANG LILY (Lyhyun):

We disliked each other a little before debut.

But this immediately passed when the survival show began.

So aesthetic and flirty together 🫦

Hyunjin has a collection of Lily's portraits.

She makes hairstyles out of his hair, but Lily's favorite hairstyle is TWO TAIL ON THE SIDE (I’m dying, girls)

Hyunjin doesn't like to be touched a lot, but she's allowed.

She protects him from all the hate 🥺🥺

So beautiful and their interactions are going viral on social media.

Lily often watches Hyunjin draw, it's just so cozy.

THEIR HANDS DIFFERENCE.. Hyunjin's arms are 20.5 cm, and Lily's are 16.5.

He kissed her once on the cheek at a concert (oh my god, how the fans love it)

"My world is your peace of mind, and I am your protection"

Nicknames for Hyunjin (in phone): Mr.Hwang

Nicknames for Lily (in phone):Mrs.Hwang

HAN JISUNG+HWANG LILY (Lisung):

These bro jokers of the group.

They both have mental problems...

They write sad lyrical songs together.

Sweet tooth and of course the leaders of the sunny trio.

He's so chaotic and she's calm.

There are paired rings and paired T-shirts, the participants consider their T-shirts to be cringe, but they like it.

A very noisy duet part 2

Lily Paints Jisung's Nails.

They walk together to refresh their minds and get back to normal.

Walking with dogs is possible!

High notes are their place of comfort.

They didn't communicate during their trainee days.

Nicknames for Jisung (in phone): Squirrel 🌙

Nicknames for Lily (in phone): Lily ily

LEE FELIX+HWANG LILY (Lilix):

HER LITTLE BOY LIX 🥺🥺🥺

completes the sunny trio.

UBUBUBU LILY IS VERY GENTLE AND CAREFUL WITH HIM.

they bake desserts together!

Felix arranges ASMR sessions for Lily.

She saw his abs and went crazy.

Literally two kittens.

Lily's soft voice and Felix's bass....

They have several covers and songs together and maybe stay will hear them.

She was very careful and gentle with him during her trainee days, because Felix was very shy and afraid.

HE IS HER SUNSHINE:(((

They're soulmates, okay?

The second most popular pairing is with Lily (Chanly is in first place, and Limin is in third)

Nicknames for Felix (in phone): Bby sunny 🥺🩷

Nicknames for Lily (in phone): Kitten soo 😼

KIM SEUNGMIN+HWANG LILY (Seungly):

Okay...he's a pain in her ass.

SHE BARKED AROUND HIM ONCE (he thinks she's weird)

Lily loves his vocals and his voice.

Seungmin mocks Lily, but he also knows how to care.

Seungmin teaches Lily to play baseball, but she is not a very good player.

He takes photos of her, because according to Lily, Seungmin takes the best photos.

Snarky #1

When she is anxious, he brings her some soft toy and leaves.

But then the boy always finds out how she feels.

DAY6 FANS

Let Seungmin smile so widely next to Lily

Nicknames for Seungmin (in phone): Don't pick up the phone

Nicknames for Lily (in phone): Lily bear

I.N+HWANG LILY (Lijeon):

Her sweet child!

But, I want to say that Jeongin is 23 (!) and he is such a protection and support for Lily, he loves her very much 🥺

They go to Busan together and hang out there

Jeongin's family considers Lily their daughter (problems in Lily's family)

Jeongin is so handsome and sweet, Lily loves his company

He repeatedly selected looks and outfits for her for some outings and she did the same for him.

Jeongin allows Lily to hug him WITHOUT PROBLEMS AND NOT LIKE WITH THE OTHER MEMBERS.

Literally helped him with his homework

They have a card (which all the Stays fight for) where they are hugging and they are wearing pale pink outfits

They watch dramas at night (Chan scolds them for this).

Nicknames for Jeongin (in phone): millionaire guy

Nicknames for Lily (in phone): beautiful bear 🐻🫂

[iamnmbr3]

hi! first of all i wanted to say i love your blog, your drarry metas give me lifeee as someone who hasn't read the books/hasn't been in the fandom for too long.

i wanted to ask your opinion on some discourse i've seen lately about draco actually being "unattractive" and people saying he's hot just because he's described as the hegemonic blonde white guy, but that we don't see him having too much traction around girls (as if that dictates whether someone is hot or not but whatever), what do you think?

(i hope this makes sense)

Thank you so much!!! I'm delighted to hear that. And welcome to the fandom! :D

I am fortunate enough not to have seen this discourse yet, but frankly I think that (like most discourse) it sounds dumb and like people trying to pick a fight rather than just curating their own experience. Attractiveness is subjective and since Draco is a book character we don't know exactly what he looks like and have to use our imaginations. So whether or not he is attractive is kind of up to each person.

The reason a lot of people tend to perceive Draco as attractive is 1) because he was played by Tom Felton who a lot of people found attractive, and that influenced how many people imagined/drew/perceived him and 2) because the story is told from Harry's POV and Harry constantly waxes lyrical about his appearance is ways that make it pretty clear that Harry, at least, thinks he's attractive.

Whether or not this is true is hard to know. He's definitely attractive to Harry. He's the only Slytherin Harry doesn't describe in uncomplimentary terms. I think he's decent looking. I don't he's Tom Riddle levels of attractive where heads turn everywhere he goes. But I don't think he's ugly either. (Though I do also really like the idea of him being kinda unnattractive looking to most people except for Harry and Harry just treating it as a given that of course Draco is hot while everyone is like 'um...what?). I think he is exactly Harry's type tho so to Harry he is the pinnacle of attractiveness.

As for Draco not having traction with girls, it seems to be more a lack of interest than a lack of success. Draco's a Malfoy so even if he was incredibly unattractive he'd have no trouble attracting the attention of girls in his pureblood elite circle (at least before he family's fortunes took a turn). So I think it's not that he can't get a girlfriend. It's that he doesn't want to. I mean, in book 6 Harry straight-up is like 'wtf i saw draco sneaking off with two girls?! why would he do that?' and no one suggests that he might be going off with them for some romantic shenanigans which means arguably Draco's disinterest in girls may even be widely known.

In my opinion Draco's not ugly. He's just gay.

[lil-elle]

Locked Out - Pt.2

group: xikers

pair: neighbour!minjae x fem!reader

genre: college au, fluff, pining(?), boy next door(?)

word count: 3.2k

content: no content warnings teehee ♡ (unless the existence of food is a content warning?)

a/n: read part 1 HERE

After finishing your food, you found yourself sitting down with Minjae on his couch, just chatting about this and that. The conversation just seemed to flow so naturally.

“So why exactly were you locked out of your own dorm?” He smirked, stretching an arm across the back of the small couch. You chuckled embarrassedly and dropped your head.

“Well…obviously I forgot my key when I was leaving for class this morning. That wouldn't have been a problem if it didn't just so happen to be the day my roommate was going to visit her sister. Overnight.”

“Oof.” He said, smiling.

“BIG oof. So anyway, she locked the door when she left while I was at class. Then I went to work, and when I finally got home- no key.”

He chuckled lightly into his hand, making you gasp and giggle back.

“Hey, don't laugh!” You smacked his arm playfully.

“I'm sorry!....It's kinda funny, though.”

You scoffed dramatically, not in a space at all to act upset with a massive smile stretched across your face.

“...That's when you showed up…” You smiled softly at him and his laughter dried up as a slightly flustered expression came across his face. “So, thank you.”

He suddenly cleared his throat and turned his head away, the red tips of his ears peeking out from behind his hair.

“Y-Yeah, o-of course…” He stuttered and you couldn't help but find his shy persona endearing.

“So…Minjae.”

“Hmm?” His head snapped back up to look over at you, his voice cracking slightly as he hummed.

“What's your major? I've never seen you around on campus before.”

The pink slowly faded from his cheeks as he responded.

“Music production! So, like composing and lyric writing, and I even do some performance based classes.”

You felt a strange tickle in your stomach as he said that and thought: “Wow. Okay, that's kind of attractive.”

“Woah, so can you like play the guitar and stuff?”

He let out a soft giggle.

“Yup. And the piano. And I can sing too.”

You couldn't help but chuckle at his sudden cockiness.

“Wow, and you're so humble too~” You said sarcastically, earning a bellowing laugh from him and a smile in a way that pushed up his cheeks and bottom eyelids, almost completely hiding his pretty brown eyes from sight. God, it was charming.

After a few seconds, he sighed and looked back at you.

“What about you, y/n?”

You thought for a moment before sighing with a wry smile growing on your face.

“Just…business, I guess, but it’s not really what I want to do.”

He leaned forward slightly, eyes showing complete, genuine interest in what you were saying.

“I actually don't know what I want to do…at all…”

His eyes turned empathetic as you continued.

“I-It's silly-”

“It's not. Not at all.”

You stared back into his deep, round eyes as he spoke with a firm yet gentle tone.

“Believe me, you have no idea how many different things I tried before I decided on music production. I think I switched majors like at least 4 times before landing where I am now.”

Your heart suddenly jumped as he said those words and your eyes went wide.

“4 TIMES?? What year are you in!?”

He looked taken aback for a moment before stuttering out his response.

“Um…well I'm in my first year as a music production major…but my third year in college in general.”

Your mouth fell open slightly.

“You're…21..?”

He nodded softly.

“You're not?” He asked in almost a whispered tone.

“NO?? I'm 19!”

“Oh! Wow. I didn't know they mixed up the ages when assigning us to dorm buildings.”

“Me neither!??!”

The two of you just stared at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter. You were the first one to speak up through your giggles.

“You've been going here for 3 years and you didn't know either??”

He chuckled for a few seconds longer before taking in a breath and responding.

“I don't know! My roommates have always been in the same year as me and I'm not really the type to socialise with the neighbours.”

You giggled softly and he smiled widely at you, his eyes holding emotions you couldn't quite place, and you couldn't deny how much you wanted to just dive into them and find out every little detail about him.

“...Well I'm glad you decided to socialise with me, at least…” You mumbled before you even thought about it, shifting your arm to lay on the back of the couch as well, your fingers dangerously close to brushing against his.

He looked down at the floor with a shy smile before bringing his soft gaze back to you.

“...Me too…You're really cool, y/n…” Your heart skipping when he said your name was already more than you expected, but when the tip of his index finger brushed against your knuckle oh so lightly, it was as if a lightning bolt just ran through your body. Before you knew it, you'd yanked your hand away and were standing upright, fighting a blush quickly overtaking your face. Silence passed between you two for a few seconds, although it felt much much longer as you stood facing away and rubbing at the spot on your knuckle that he had touched.

“...Um…S-Sorry, I thought-”

“I-It's okay! I just…remembered I have class again in the morning, y’know?” You chuckled shyly, turning to face him despite the insanely obvious redness in your cheeks, which he definitely noticed as his cheeks slowly began taking on the same red colour.

“O-oh! R-Right!” He quickly stood, looking around and thinking for a moment.

“Uh…You can sleep in my bed if you want.”

Your blush only deepened as you stared at him, his words replaying in your head endlessly.

“...Huh?”

He just stared at you for a moment slightly confused before it hit him what you were thinking, his face growing so red that you could almost see the steam coming out of his ears.

“OH! NO! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, GOD NO!” He slapped his hands over his face and you could've sworn you heard him mutter “idiot!” before sighing and dropping his hands again. “I meant…you sleep in my bed, and I sleep on the couch.”

“O-oh! That makes more sense…” You giggled shyly, looking down at the ground. “But…I'm fine sleeping on the couch y'know? I don't wanna like steal your bed…”

“It's fine!” He hurriedly responded. “Really! I don't mind.”

You looked at the small couch guiltily.

“...It doesn't look very comfortable…”

He followed you gaze to the couch before looking across the room and then back to you.

“Then…I can sleep in Hunter's bed! Would that make you feel better? And before you say anything, he won’t mind, so don't worry.”

You couldn't help but giggle about how he seemingly knew the next way in which you'd protest. He'd successfully removed every reason for you to deny his offer and all you could do was smile up at him.

“Well…how can I say no to that?” You giggled and he smiled widely, looking back at you with that adoring look once again and you couldn't help but feel your heart flutter.

“...A-Anyways…” you mumbled, cheeks almost hurting from how much you'd smiled already tonight, “I'll um…go to sleep, if that's okay?”

He nodded, smiling.

“Y-Yeah! Yeah, of course.”

“Is there anything you need from your room before I go in?”

He thought for a moment before shaking his head.

“You're all good.” He said softly. “It's just that door on the left, there.”

“Thanks…” You muttered softly, picking your bag up and carrying it over to the door. You heard him sigh and mumble something to himself as you entered his room, but you couldn't make it out, and honestly you were too distracted to care. It was like a million different emotions were running through you at once. You felt weird but also giddy, excited, wired, flustered, happy, anxious, nervous, shy, etc etc. Pretty much any feeling you could imagine.

You softly shut the door to his bedroom and looked around, feeling strange to be in a boy's- well…man’s bedroom, especially without the man himself present. But it also felt strangely comfortable; not all that messy but also not insanely spotless so at least you could rule out psychopath, just a few shirts here and there and a used cup sitting on one of the side tables by the bed.

You set your bag down in the corner and rummaged through to find the shirt you wore to class stuffed into the bottom, thanking your past self for feeling lazy and just throwing on a pair of jeans and a kind of oversized shirt earlier that morning. You hastily changed out of your work clothes and into the shirt, before realising you'd either have to sleep in jeans, which honestly sounded like a nightmare, or sleep in Minjae's bed in just your shirt with no pants on, the thought making your stomach flip as you stared over at the soft grey duvet blanketing his bed. You sighed, ignoring the heat re-entering your cheeks, and decided on the latter option, placing your phone on the end table before climbing into the bed. You sunk into the mattress, the bed being surprisingly comfier than your one back in your room. “I thought we all got the same bed??” You thought, pondering how his felt so much softer. You turned over onto your side and pressed your face into the pillow. “Even this pillow is softer…” You took a deep breath in, the fabric of his sheets smelling exactly how you thought they would: like a man. Y'know, sandalwood, musk, maybe a hint of lavender and fabric softener. It was nice. It had really been a while since you'd been in a man’s bed. You thought back to your exes and shuddered before flipping over onto your other side and reaching to turn the lamp off, the room being consumed with darkness as you sighed and let your eyes close softly.

The harsh sound of a phone alarm pierced your dreams and your eyes fluttered open, hand already reaching for your phone on the side tables to silence what had disturbed your slumber. You tapped the screen and rolled over, groaning as you buried your face into the pillow. It took breathing in the unfamiliar scented sheets for you to finally remember where you were, quickly shooting up and looking around the dim room, lit only by a weak streak of light coming from under the door. “Minjae's room. Minjae.”

“...It's way too early to feel this flustered…” You mumbled as you lightly slapped your slowly reddening cheeks, before swinging your legs over the edge of the bed and unsteadily picking yourself up. Yawning softly, you grabbed your phone and turned it on to see the time, squinting as the bright, white light filled your vision. “7am…I wonder if she's home yet…”

You quickly slipped your jeans from yesterday back on before creeping out of the room, your eyes meeting Minjae's back as he rummaged through the fridge. You stepped forward shyly.

“Um…Morning…”

“Oh!” He turned around, another container of food in his hands that he then placed on the counter. “H-Hey…um…sleep okay?”

You nodded softly, stepping up to the counter to see what he had.

“When is your class?” He pried open the container of what seemed to be scrambled eggs bacon before popping it into the microwave.

“O-Oh..9am. But my roommate should be home by then, if she isn't already.”

He smiled softly, eyes dropping to the ground.

“I see…”

A slightly awkward silence passed between the two of you, only being broken by the sound of the microwave beeping and him taking out his breakfast.

“Hungry?” He asked as he placed the warmed up breakfast on the counter and retrieved a fork from a drawer.

“Oh, no no. It's okay, you have it. I already ate your curry yesterday…”

He chuckled softly.

“I don't mind, y’know? Plus I'd already eaten dinner by the time you showed up.” He pushed the container towards you a small amount and you quickly pushed it back.

“N-No, really, you eat. I'll have something quick before class.”

He smiled and nodded before finally digging into the eggs. You took a good look at his face, more or less the same as yesterday; soft hair falling effortlessly over his forehead, thick black glasses sat low on his nose, with the addition of his skin seeming glossier than yesterday and you suddenly wondered if he had a morning skin care routine or something. “That would explain why he's so…beautiful…”

You thought, turning away and looking down as you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt. He was the same as yesterday, but with a certain ‘morning’ charm to him, not to mention the extra roughness his already deep voice had taken on that you were trying so desperately to ignore since the moment he'd opened his mouth to greet you a few minutes ago.

“So,” He suddenly snapped you out of your trance and you looked back over to him just in time to see his eyes trail down to your legs and back up to your face in a way that made your heart stutter, “was it comfortable sleeping in jeans?” He said with a slight chuckle. You felt a slight warmth enter your face as you remembered your whole inner conflict from last night.

“O-Oh, I didn't…sleep in these…”

He looked slightly confused for a moment before smirking.

“Did you really sleep in that business-y pencil skirt that I'm assuming was your work uniform?” He shovelled another bite of egg into his mouth, keeping his eyes on you as your face only grew redder.

“N-No…”

He chewed slowly and you could practically see the thoughts in his head trying to put things together.

“...Do you…carry spare clothes with you…?”

You shook your head before burying your face in your hands. You couldn't see his face but you could easily hear the fluster in his voice as it clicked in his head.

“...Oh…f-forget I asked…”

You felt so embarrassed. You were sure he thought you were a weirdo for treating his bed like it was yours. Either that or incredibly naive and innocent. “...Totally just ruined my chances-…”

You blushed even harder, something you didn't even think was possible.

“...Why did I think that…? I just met this guy!”

Your brain felt like a battlezone as you took a deep breath in and out before sliding your hands off of your face, only to turn and see his face also littered with a splotchy redness that you couldn't deny was so cute.

Luckily your phone that you had placed in your jean pocket vibrated, breaking the awkward silence that felt like a crushing weight that you couldn't hold for much longer. You quickly fished it out, seeing a text from your roommate reading:

“I’m home and I brought breakfast if you want.”

You sighed and quickly typed a response before slipping your phone back in your pocket.

“I should go. My roommate just got home.”

You smiled shyly as he finished up his food and pushed the container to the side before clearing his throat.

“O-Oh, y-yeah yeah…of course…”

The air still felt awkward and tense, like there were words between the two of you going unsaid, either one of you too afraid to speak them aloud.

“I'll...just grab my stuff.”

He nodded and you walked back to his room to grab your bag, feeling a weird pressure in your chest that you couldn’t quite place.

You hauled the bag back to where he was now standing by the door, ready to see you out. You slowed to a stop in front of him, looking down at the floor and fidgeting with the strap of your bag.

“So…um…thanks. For everything.”

You looked up at him with a soft shy smile and he turned away as soon as you made eye contact, his ears quickly beginning to burn up.

“O-Of course! I-I couldn't just leave you out there…”

You giggled softly and he turned back, chuckling along and scratching the back of his neck shyly.

“Hey…if you ever need a place to stay again for…whatever reason…I'll always welcome you here.”

Your smile grew at his words.

“Thank you, Minjae…” You said quietly, your eyes taking in his pretty features as you felt your hand almost unconsciously grab your phone from your pocket.

“If it's okay…can I get your number?” You felt the blush return to your cheeks again as his eyes slowly widened. “J-Just in case…” You quickly stuttered out as if trying to soften the flirty tension your own words created.

He nodded and carefully took your phone into his hands, you having opened up your contacts so he could add his in.

“...Just in case…” He repeated in almost a whisper, fighting a smile pulling at his lips.

After a few quiet seconds of him tapping at your phone screen, he handed it back, and you just stared for a moment at the contact screen reading 'Minjae', the sight making you smile for some reason.

“Well…” you put your phone back in your pocket and smiled at him, “I should get going…”

You slowly turned and opened the door, stepping into the much colder hallway compared to the warmth of standing next to him.

“S-See you lat-”

“W-Wait!” His hand suddenly came around and grasped the edge of the door just as you began closing it, pulling it back open enough for him to look you in the eyes. You just gazed up at him, wide eyed from being so caught off guard.

“...Are you…d-do you…” he stuttered and you blinked nervously, waiting for him to continue.

“D-Do you have a boyfriend?” When he finally got the words out, you felt your breath catch and your heart almost stop. You couldn't fight the immense heat immediately taking over your face, but you felt comfortable in knowing that his looked just about as red as yours.

The light that entered his eyes as you shook your head made you melt with how endearing he seemed, a wide smile he couldn't hide quickly overtaking his features.

“O-oh! W-Well…g-good to know!” He exclaimed almost a little too loudly, forcing you to stifle a giggle. “I-I'll see you later then, y/n…”

You nodded with a smile and he pushed the door closed, leaving you in a sort of daze in the hallway, staring a hole into his door.

“Uh…earth to y/n?” You were startled by a sudden voice behind you and turned to see your roommate poking her head out of your dorm room. “Woah, dude, are you okay? Your face is super red.”

You felt embarrassed and shy, but all of that was overtaken by the unfiltered joy and excitement overtaking your heart and mind.

“Mhmm…I'm awesome…”

-

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

TAGLIST:

@chocoeon @hyunukitty @ihyeokzu @cake1box @chiiyuuvv @shortnstupid @dogyunslover

[yourfatherlucifer]

If I killed someone for you (Yunho)

Yandere!Psycho!Jeong Yunho x Reader

Summary:

He was an amazing man in the relationship, but he had..tendencies..tendencies to do things someone normal wouldn’t do. Like he’s over obsessive. In the beginning he was perfect, flawless even. However, it’s your school reunion, everyone was there, including your old group of friends, which had a few guys in it. Yunho didn’t like it..no..he hates it, he loathes it, the way they touch you when they laugh. Sure, they’re just your friends, but they’re men, men that could steal you away from him. He didn’t want that, he couldn’t have that. Maybe it’s time for his mind to finally break, and give in to his urges. He needs you for himself. What will he do?

Warnings: mentions of violence, mentions of death, overall yandere behavior, possessive behavior, killer behavior, mentions of torture methods, swearing, this whole one shot is a red flag.

(There are several different song lyrics hidden, and I based the high school on the high school I graduated from. And a thank you to @starillusion13 for editing and being my beta reader. I appreciate it so much.)

——

My brown doe-eyed boyfriend was different, he’s perfect in my eyes, he’s everything I ever wanted. He had a sense about him, it was strange, but I thought nothing of it. He'd usually shower me with gifts, took care of my every need, so there obviously couldn't be anything wrong with him. He was the one I always wanted. He was a perfect one except for his possessiveness. I'm not complaining about this but sometimes it goes out of hand and it gets on my nerves. Maybe I'm thinking too much or he is just too caring to which, am just overreacting.

 My mind could just be wrong about him. He's just a little possessive. Right?

“Yunho? Why did you leave your dirty clothes just left in the middle of the floor?” I yelled over his headphones, my tall and lean, and puppy eyed boyfriend sat in his gaming chair.

I assumed he was playing with friends, but this was ridiculous.

I guess he didn’t hear me since he clearly didn’t answer me. How annoying!

Huffing, I kicked his clothes across the room, boring a glare into the back of his head. Jackass.

Whatever, I have better things to do, than clean up after a grown man.

I left our shared room with a slam of the door.

I was getting too frustrated, I should just relax, ignore my boyfriend's asshole self for the time being.

Plus, I have to get ready for a school reunion. I received the text last week and honestly, I didn’t even think anyone from my high school would invite me. I was a loner then, still am.

I suppose I had a couple friends then, not sure they’d remember me though.

-

“What are you wearing?” I heard a voice approach me from behind. The voice had a sharp undertone in it.

“Yunho! Don’t do that, you scared me.” I placed a hand over my chest. Turning around to see him already staring at me with a dark look on his facial.

“I asked you a question. You should answer it.” Why was he always so authoritative to me?

I rolled my eyes at him, “Seriously? So, now I’m not even allowed to dress how I’d like?”

Yunho's eyes glossed over with anger, "Do not back talk to me, why are you dressed all fancy?" That's it. I've had enough of his damn behavior.

"Fuck you, Yunho, you've been nothing but a dick to me lately,always being so possessive. I am going out, I have a high school reunion. If you don't trust me, even though you should. Then come with me. I don't need or expect this from you." I stood my ground, I wasn't gonna take anymore of his bull crap.

He stared me down for a precise moment before he left the room, to our shared bedroom.

About five minutes later, he'd come out wearing a dark blue long-sleeve button up and jeans. The sleeves of his dress shirt were pushed up to his elbows.

When he dressed like this, he was overly attractive, if only he wasn't a dick sometimes.

Rolling my eyes once more, "Oh, so you do want to come with me. Fine, but please, enough with the possessive behavior."

-

When we had arrived at my old school, my gaze was all over the place, it was smaller than I remembered. Still looked fancy in the front. The football field behind the school was visible slightly around the corner and that was where the event had been organized.

 The front banner said, ‘Welcome back, home of the pirates, class of (XXXX)!’

I looked at Yunho, his grip on the steering wheel had turned his knuckles white, "Um..it said the reunion is on the football field, so just head behind the school." With a nod from him, he pulled the car around the large building.

I don't know why, but I felt this looming sense of danger in the air. I really hope nothing bad happens, especially with the way my lover is.

-

"Y/N!"

Who called me? I don't..

I turned my head to the sound of whoever just called my name out, Yunho trailing extremely close behind me.

"Changkyun?" It was my best friend from freshman year, even though he was in a higher grade. I even had a crush on him then, but of course, I couldn't let Yunho know. Who knows what he'd do.

"Hi, dude, it's been awhile." Changkyun had wrapped his arms around me. I could just feel my lover's glare. This wasn't good. So I pulled away as fast as I could from my former friend.

"Yeah, it has, um, this is my boyfriend, Yunho." I turned around, but stepped back as soon as I saw his face. Yunho looked pissed. Like, it was honestly terrifying. I had never seen this look on him. His demeanor radiating a wave of danger to the cold environment of the late evening.

I mean, it was kind of hot, but something about it also didn't sit right with me.

Changkyun looked up, "Damn, you are tall. I'm Im Changkyun, I was Y/N's friend back in school." He held his hand out, but Yunho just stared at him down. Almost like he was threatened by his presence.

I could feel the tension in the air, maybe I should pull him away from this conversation. Yeah that's the best idea.

I grabbed the taller male's hand, "It was nice talking to you, Kyun, but I think we need to go." I chuckled nervously, pulling my lover away.

-

I stared up at him, "What was that, Yunho? Why were you glaring at him? He didn't do anything to you."

"Yes he did."

"What?"

I can't believe him. Was he serious? He did not just blame your friend for welcoming you there. If he continues being such an overbearing person, you might lose your mind before him.

"He touched what is mine, not his, mine."

There was that sense of dread again. MINE. You loved hearing him calling you his but sometimes that made you uncomfortable as if he was referring to some costly property which he wanted to lock it.

"How about this, what if I killed someone for you, Y/N? Would you love me more? Would that get inside your pretty little head, to show you and remind you that you are mine?" All of the sudden, he was leaning down, he had grabbed my wrist.

Oh my god, his grip was so tight, it felt like my wrist was gonna snap right off, "Stop it, Yunho! You're acting crazy! Let go of me, it hurts." I tried pulling away.

He wasn't letting go, and that killer look in his eyes was back.

"I don't care, what do you not understand?"

He was dragging me to the car, "You know, Y/N, I really cannot decide whether you should live or die. I mean, really. You come here dressed like you're going on a date, you let another man touch what is mine." He was laughing like a maniac.

Was he really going to kill me? No, no, he's just upset with me, that's all. I did nothing wrong though!

"Please, Yunho, stop! I love you! I didn't mean to do this, I didn't know he was gonna touch me." At this point, I was a sobbing mess, there was nobody around to save me.

An evil smirk was etched onto his face, after pushing me into the car, he locked the doors. Trapping me in with a psychopath.

As he sped down the road, the radio was almost blasting, he turned to me. "Maybe I should just crash the car, kill both of us! Or maybe, I could bury you alive, pour acid down your throat."

Why was he doing this? I don't want to die!

"Maybe I should just kidnap your little friend, keep him locked up in our basement. I could torture him for days, I could break him. You can watch!"

"Yunho, stop! I am sorry! I won't talk to him again! Please slow down, you're going to kill us." He was ignoring my pleas. The killer look in his eyes wasn't going to fade anytime soon.

"Oh, are you really? You are mine! Not some fucking tiny ass man can give you what I give you!"

He reached over, unbuckled my seat belt. The car sped up faster, this is it. I'm going to die. "Yunho!"

He was approaching a brick wall at top speed, but just three feet from it, he slammed on the brakes. My head smashed into the dashboard, knocking me out.

-

Cold water splashed onto my face, "Wake up, dear."

"Yun..?"

I had a pounding headache, why did my head hurt so bad? Why can't I move?

With my eyes fluttering open, I discovered I was restrained to a chair. My surroundings were definitely very familiar, it was our basement, but why was I down here?

"What's going on, Yun? Why am I tied up?"

The tall frame of my boyfriend was kneeled in front of me.

"Bad girls don't get to have freedom."

"What are you..oh," I remember now, I remember everything, "I told you I was sorry, why are you still doing this to me?"

"Because. I don't forgive you. Until you realize you're mine and stay away from other men, then I will be the perfect boyfriend again."

I shuddered with fear. I was never going to escape this, was I? I will never truly be free from him. I put myself unknowingly into a toxic relationship with a psychopath.

He gripped my jaw to look at him, "Everyday and night, I’m gon’ chase you. I love you, you should only love me."

I wanted to spit on his face, but I just don't know what he is capable of.

Tears were streaming down my face again, "Please, Yunho! I don't want anybody else, I want you! I only want you. I won't look at anyone else!"

He loosened his grip on my now bruised jaw, "That's a good girl, that's what I want to hear." Yunho chuckled, trailing a finger down my cheek.

"Are you gonna be a good girl for me?"

I shook my head up and down so fast, I swore my head would fall off.

'Yes, yes! I'll be your good girl, Yunho! I promise!"

The killer glint in his eyes faded just as fast as I blinked, "Good."

After untying me, he pulled me into a hug, rubbing the back of my head, before leaning next to my ear, "Because you will never escape me."

Oh no..

[lady-october]

Pairing : Oli Sykes x Female Assistant Genre : Romance, Smut (18+ Only) Previous Chapters : Available on Ao3 & Tumblr

Story Content : Smut, Drama, Choking, Power dynamics, Romance, Rough sex, Sadism/Masochism, Dom/Sub, Mentions of addiction & self harm, Degradation, Praise kink, Exhibitionism, Orgasm denial, Breath play, Dirty talk.

Summary :

“Don’t you see what a dangerous game you’re playing? Why did you have to look so fucking delicious tonight, I couldn’t stop undressing you in my mind, thinking of all the twisted things I want to do to you.” She had only worked on the touring team for three weeks, but her mind had been hijacked by dirty thoughts of a man she barely even talked to. Sure, he was very attractive, but were there other reasons she was so uncontrollably drawn to him? This is a filthy story of pain, self discovery, and love.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Chapter 28: Oh, what a wonderful life

Chapter title is lyrics from “Wonderful Life” 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The first thing I noticed when I saw him was his hollow eyes. The exhaustion so present on his features that for a moment I struggled to remember all the things I needed to discuss with him. 

“Hi.” He breathed, leaning – resting – against the doorframe. The smile he aimed at me further showcasing how tired he must be. 

Come on, Alice, you can do this. 

Thankfully, I managed to centre myself before too long, “So, are you gonna meet up with her?” 

“I think so, yeah.”  

I shouldn’t be jealous, I shouldn’t feel insecure, but this is someone he’s explicitly expressed to be the love of his life; someone he considered a soulmate. 

Someone who was obviously still interested in him. 

And from reading their chat – specifically from seeing how Oli spoke to her – it was also obvious he still had some form of respect for her. Despite her deep betrayal. 

I’d been fighting the urge to look up his exes as soon as he’d vocalised being cheated on during the flight to America. But today those temptations had proven too much. 

That’s another problem with potentially dating a celebrity; their dating history is catalogued online, just a quick search away. All I had to do was type in ‘Oli Sykes girlfriend’ and I’d been flooded with images of her, showing how picture perfect she was, and how perfect they were together. Both so clearly from the same universe, dressed in alt fashion and covered in tattoos. 

Both also very clearly in love. 

And now I had the image of them wrapped up in each other’s arms, kissing, plastered in the back of my mind as an uncomfortable reminder of how out of place I am in his world. 

Oli took a quick glance down the corridor before returning his attention to me, “Can I come in?” 

Distracted by my intrusive thoughts, I simply nodded and stepped to the side. 

I’d expected him to walk into the room, maybe even make himself comfortable. Instead, he hovered next to me as I shut the door, not once taking his tired eyes off me. 

“I was gonna tell you last night that I’d been talking to her.” He said in a low tone, so close to me I could smell the energy drink on his breath. 

“Is that why you were unsure about us being right for each other?” I had to ask, had to know. It had been running through my thoughts for hours. 

Oli shook his head, “No.” He said, but his expression shifted, a grimace threatening to scrunch up his face, “I mean, yeah. But not the way you’re thinking.” 

As I felt a frown pulling on my eyebrows out of confusion, his hand appeared by mine, taking it gingerly in his – a silent question if this intimate touch was acceptable considering the current tension between us. 

Bewildered, I let our fingers intertwine, before he led us to sit on the end of my bed. 

After a deep breath, he told me why he needed to talk to Fay, that he wanted answers, that he needed to let go of the anger and the distrust she had caused in him – how it had made him not trust me.  

He also told me he’s been fighting the urge to use again, to fall into old habits with drugs, that things had been triggering him, just like things had been triggering me. And for a moment I thought to myself that maybe he was right last night, maybe we’re just not right for each other.  

Maybe we do nothing but pull at the strings of our pain, fraying the edges of the delicate fabric further. 

But then he began caressing my hand, holding it in his as if it was precious – as if it was made of glass. He turned it over in his palm, guiding it up to his lips in order to place a kiss on the soft pad of my thumb. Then he opened his mouth to say something that would make me see things from a different perspective. 

“I tried to strangle such a large part of myself the past year, I gave up on so many of the things I desperately want out of life because of how badly I got burnt with Fay; I gave up on love, something that – and I know this sounds cringe – but it’s as vital as air to me.” His vulnerable eyes fell to our hands resting on my thigh, before continuing under his breath, “It's like I've been a fucking zombie, Alice.” 

Silence fell between us for a beat as I tried to stay composed, hating how much I was relating to what he was saying. But then he continued, and I felt the familiar lump build in my throat. 

“Well,” He huffed out a breath, “Until you showed up." 

Large eyes returned to mine, and suddenly breathing no longer seemed to come instinctually, forcing me to focus on the otherwise autonomic function so I wouldn’t simply stop. 

“I was only able to start writing lyrics again after the first night I was with you.” He studied my face as he seemed to search for the right words, “I realise there's problems here, reasons for why we might not work out. But you have no idea how grateful I am for everything you've done for me.” 

Having never felt more alive than when I’m around him, I should see where he’s coming from, I should believe his words, yet I couldn’t help but think that he’s mistaken; that he was confusing me for someone who was special enough to evoke such things. 

“You've opened something up in me that's allowing me to love again, and honestly, even if we don't end up together, at least now I know that giving up on love altogether isn't the solution.” 

Panic set in as I was fighting to speak up, to let him know I also crave to feel. 

Crave to love. 

But the words were stuck in my throat, lodged so thoroughly I wasn’t sure I could say them even if my life was on the line. 

Does he sense my inner battle; can he see it on me? 

There is so much pity in his eyes. 

Or is it disappointment over the fact that I’m once again mute while he pours his heart out to me? 

But long before I got a chance to tackle my loud inner voices, the pity fell away from him, and you could tell by his darting eyes that he was mulling something over. 

“This is our last night here. I wanted to take you to the restaurant, would you like that?” He asked, an exhausted, sombre smile touching his lips. 

I forced out a smile and an eager nod, hoping it would convey at least a crumb of the thoughts I was currently unable to express verbally. 

“Great.” He added, so I stood up, but his hand didn’t let go of mine, nor did he move from his seated positioned at the end of the mattress, “Are we alright to just lay down for a minute first?” 

I shifted awkwardly, “Liam could come back any moment.” 

But I quickly realised his request hadn’t been sexual in nature from the way his sad gaze held mine. 

“I just want to hold you for a bit.” He begged under his breath, and my heart ached. 

“Okay.” I said in return, causing him to visibly relax, before he guided me around the modestly sized double bed, compared to his rooms large king.  

As I made myself comfortable on the plush pillows I’d cried into just an hour ago, he quickly wrapped himself around me, nestling his head into my chest, my chin coming to rest on the top of his head, right in the midst of wild locks that smelled so hypnotising.  

The embrace was unlike the ones we usually shared, he was making himself more vulnerable, turning the moment intimate in a brand new way, causing a storm of emotion to erupt in me. And right as I thought I couldn’t get more overwhelmed by it, his warm hand appeared on my thigh, pulling it over his waist, entangling us further before taking a deep breath, the warm air seeping through the fabric of my shirt, caressing my skin. 

“You always smell so wonderful, love.” He breathed into my chest in a low, rumbling tone, sounding as if he’s about to drift off. 

And your scent makes me wonder if home is a person. 

I swallowed, alarmed by my feelings and my thoughts, shoving them aside to stay sane, to stay in the moment without panicking. 

“That’s good,” I started, feeling unsure of myself, but curiosity got the better of me as it so often does, “You know, I’m having the hardest time placing your scent. What’s in your hair right now?” 

“Sorry about that. It’s just some shampoo I nicked from one of the venues back in the UK when I ran out of my usual stuff. Probably doesn’t smell that pleasant, but beggars can’t be choosers.” 

I couldn’t believe it, the mysterious aroma that had made me feel safe, that drove me wild, was just some random shampoo he didn’t even care for? 

“I– I actually really like it.” I said quietly, the heat of a blush spreading over my cheeks, feeling slightly embarrassed over having placed such significance on such a trivial thing. 

“Yeah? Maybe I’ll get some more then.” His words had come so slurred, the poor thing was clearly hanging onto consciousness by a thread. 

I was going to tell him – reluctantly – that he didn’t need to do that, that he can use whatever products he prefers, but before I got a chance, I felt him twitch, letting me know that sleep had claimed him. 

I sighed, torn between distraction, or allowing myself to indulge in his scent, in him. After a moment of looking at the unruly curls under my nose, I gave in, letting myself take a deep breath and savour the way he made me feel. Which was more than I cared to admit to myself. 

Having mostly focused on feeling as few things as possible for so long, it was no wonder such emotional highs that Oli provided caused fear to stir inside me. 

I was used to spending my days convincing myself that I was happy, that I didn’t want more. That I didn’t feel like I was slowly suffocating and dying inside from staying with someone who made me feel… absolutely nothing. 

You see, my ex was a void, and I simply orbited him, shaping my wants and needs to fit into his lifestyle in order to make things as simple and conflict-free as possible. 

One day we’d sat down in the living room to go through our finances. The TV had been left on in the background, auto playing some sewing tutorial on YouTube that I’d planned to watch at some point. But like all my attempts at creative hobbies, it fizzled and died before I’d even gathered the courage to purchase the supplies to try it. I was simply too good at telling myself that there was no point, that I’d probably be bad at it anyway, that it was a waste of money, or that my time could be spent doing something more productive. 

We were in the middle of deciding how much to transfer to our savings accounts this month, when my ex, Sam, had gotten distracted by the flashing lights caused by the next random video in the queue. 

“Annoying that. Do you like that stuff?” He asked, judgement in his voice, before reaching over to turn off the telly. 

I’d only caught a glimpse of it before he shut it off, but it had looked like concert footage, most likely recommended to me due to all the links Shelley had shared with me lately, to show me the upcoming bands she’d be working on tour with. I wouldn’t be able to recall what bands it had been, as I never much listened to heavier music, and the touring agency specialized in alternative music. All I knew is that it can’t have been Bring Me The Horizon, as this was years prior to her working with them. And years prior to her recommending me for this job. 

“Not really, but Shelley’s been sending me a lot of concert footage lately.” 

He shook his head, “You two have essentially nothing in common, I can’t understand why you’re still friends with her.” 

Shelley was my childhood friend. She was always the outgoing one, the daring one, while I mostly kept to myself. But for some reason she’d latched onto me the first day of school and told me we’d be best friends forever. And so far, she hadn’t been wrong about that. The only reason we hadn’t talked much lately was due to us both being on tour. 

He wasn’t wrong either though; we didn’t have much in common, but that never seemed to matter. We enjoyed each other all the same. 

But Sam and Shelley? They hated each other. Both insisting that the other was bad for me, or just bad in general. In fact, I’m not sure they’ve ever agreed on a single thing besides liking me. 

“You know why.” I muttered, keeping my head low, not wanting to have this argument again. 

“I just don’t get why she insists on pushing her tacky ways on you. You’ve got it all figured out; always the most beautiful girl in the room, got a great job, and a great boyfriend.” The last bit he’d said with a proud smile. 

I rolled my eyes at him, but he just laughed. 

I’m not sure Sam thought I was beautiful, or if he simply approved of my extremely non-offensive way of both acting and dressing, which he always commented on before showing me off to friends and colleges; I was the quiet, polite, smiling girlfriend, dressed to impress even the elderly relatives. Someone who was perfect to bring around to the office Christmas party.  

I also know he very much disapproved of Shelley’s work, always finding new ways of implying that she’s a slut, sleeping around with all the bands she worked with. 

Which, looking back, is hilarious, as I’m currently doing her old job, but sleeping with the lead singer. 

But I know Shelley wasn’t like that. She may come off as a flirt from first impressions, but she’s very happily married, and had always been extremely loyal. In many ways she reminded me of Liam, which explained why they got along so well. And why me and Liam instantly hit it off. 

But Sam’s dislike for Shelley ran a lot deeper than simply looking down on her lifestyle choices. 

The last time Shelley had visited she’d sold me on the idea of getting a tattoo with her. I’ve always liked them, but always been entirely too scared to consider one. Yet I had warmed up to the idea of a vine anklet – discrete, understated, yet pretty. It had felt right, but Sam had talked me out of it. Reaffirming my fears about its permanence, having me question if I would regret it. But he was still angry over the mere idea that Shelley had almost convinced me, as if my opinion on the matter hadn’t really mattered – as if I’m not capable of making an informed decision on my own. 

But considering how scared and indecisive I frequently was, I guess it was understandable why he would assume as much. 

After we were done with our finances, I’d caught myself in the mirror while getting towels for my evening bath. I was still in my work clothes, my hair neatly tucked into a low bun, not a hair out of place. I was the picture of palatable, pleasant and boring. 

It fed my numbness.  

I accepted it – it was comforting. 

Or so I told myself as I undressed, locking the door to the bathroom before getting into the hot, bubbly water, and having myself a silent cry like I did nearly every night before bed. 

I’d stare into my soothing lavender candle I’d lit to help me sleep better, working overtime to convince myself I was happy as the tears streamed down my face. As the walls felt like they were closing in on me. 

Then I’d dry myself off and crawl into bed to sleep next to my perfectly okay boyfriend, ready for my perfectly okay job in the morning. 

No wonder I’d agreed to Shelley’s suggestion of working on the touring team once I’d split with Sam. 

It was just crazy enough of an idea for me to act on in my desperate state, sick of hating my life so fundamentally. 

But I had my apprehensions. 

I’d found out fairly quickly that my first tour would be with a band called Bring Me The Horizon. 

Instantly I’d began researching them. 

The first time I saw Oli I’d pulled a face of disgust.  

He’d been flashing his old vampire fangs, bright coloured contacts, and his skin was more ink covered than not. I’d immediately heard Sam’s voice in the back of my head, telling me that ‘only convicts have face tattoos.’ 

And I’d agreed with him at the time. In fact, many of my close-minded opinions at the time were his. It was just easier to adopt them rather than argue. 

So, in an effort to be my own person, I rejected the notion that there was anything at all to judge about Oliver Sykes. 

But the judgemental thoughts hadn’t ended there. 

I’d read that he was a drug addict. Of course he was, he’s a rockstar. 

I shook myself, realising what I was doing, and moved on, once again promising myself to not judge a book by its cover. 

But I couldn’t seem to stop. 

I learned about his activism, his love for animals, how he’d started his own business alongside the band when he was just a teenager. I’d read over his lyrics and watch his interviews – all of which were riddled with self-criticizing commentary despite his numerous admirable achievements and skillsets. 

And yet I still found myself having judged him, as I’d been shocked to discover that he wasn’t just some lowlife, entitled, celebrity man-child as I’d initially expected. 

For days afterwards I’d kept looking him up, scrolling through pictures and videos of him, listened to his music, checking out his clothing line, perplexed both by him as a person, and why I was so seemingly enthralled by him. 

Do I find him attractive, or am I simply jealous of his bold ways of expressing himself? 

Immediately after that thought I’d texted Shelley. 

“Alice: Dress me like you.” 

It was something she’d wanted to do since we were teens, always insisting that my appearance never reflected how she saw me; telling me that my personality was far richer and exciting than how I presented myself to the world. 

While I felt more comfortable being silly around Shelley than anyone else, I still wasn’t sure I agreed with her opinion on that. 

But I did know she’d jump on the idea of giving me a makeover, and I was beyond fed up with my old ways. 

“Shelley: I’ll do you one better, I’ll dress you like YOU!” 

The next day she’d come over to my mum’s house which I was residing at after my breakup with Sam. She’d brought a mountain of clothes and accessories, both things from her own closet and items she’d picked up on the way here. The first thing she’d put me in was a dress so short it could have been a shirt. 

“You’re made for that.” She’d said without a doubt in her voice, “It’s perfect!” 

“You’re joking? A small breeze and I’ll be on a list.” 

“Who cares, you’re going on tour!” She exclaimed before collapsing into my childhood bed, which we’d spent many nights together in as kids, telling ghost stories under the covers when we were supposed to be fast asleep. 

“I’m not sure.” I muttered, pulling on the hem, attempting to magically make it cover more of my skin than it ever could. 

“Alice, I beg of you, bring it with you, just in case you feel up for wearing it once you’re there.” 

And taking inspiration from the boldness of Mr Sykes, as well as Shelley, I’d done as she’d suggested. In fact, I’d been brave and mostly packed things she’d brought over that day, only packing a handful of items from my usual wardrobe.  

And every time I see myself in the mirror after putting on something Shelley picked out for me, I’d hear Sam’s words in the back of my head, telling me I look like a slag, and I’d smile at my reflection. 

Cause who gives a rat’s arse what that man thinks anyway. 

But it quickly became evident that I cared about what another man thought of me. 

It also quickly became evident that my fascination with Oli wasn’t just jealousy over his daring nature. 

The first time I met him I swear my brain short circuited for a minute. 

“Hiya, love, you alright?” He’d asked with a flash of a smile. 

While I can’t recall what I said, if anything, I remember being in complete awe, convinced his eyes were looking right through me, as if he could tell immediately how my body was responding to his mere presence. 

It had taken me a couple of days to finally accept that I was in fact hopelessly attracted to him, and once I’d accepted that, I’d check him out every chance I got. And while I knew someone like me would never have a shot with someone like that, I kept dressing myself in less and less, hoping that against all odds he’d notice me eventually. 

Just a handful of days before we started the sexcapades in London was the only time I’d thought that maybe he’d actually noticed me in the same way I was noticing him. 

It was an early, gloomy January morning, and we were just about to leave a rented house we’d been staying at for a couple of days between gigs. Everyone was gathered in the living room, half asleep on the corner sofa, as we waited for the taxi to come collect us. Liam was still running around making sure we hadn’t left anything behind, and I was sat in a chair next to the sofa, mindlessly watching the morning news that Lee had left on the telly as everyone were either resting their eyes or on their various devices. 

In an incredibly modern, ugly, design choice, the whole wall behind the telly was comprised of large, black marble tiles, so glossy it acted as a mirrored surface. And every so often I’d let my eyes stray from the news to steal a quick, indulgent glance at Oli in the reflection. 

Only this time I noticed his eyes weren’t on the phone in his hands, nor were they on the big screen in front of him. In fact, it looked an awful lot like they were resting on me. And not on my reflection, no, his gaze was instead to his side, in my direction. 

And what is that expression on his face? 

For a moment I didn’t even dare think it, cause why on earth would he be looking at ordinary, boring Alice? But then I scanned my own reflection and was promptly reminded of how low cut my top was that day.  

In a daring move, I crossed my arms gently, which made my already provocative cleavage spill further. 

Immediately his eyelids grew heavy, his lips parting slightly as the grip on his phone tightened visibly, the veins on his hands becoming more prominent as a result, and I was suddenly very grateful that I was already sitting down, as I’m certain my legs weren’t functional in that moment. 

But while what he was looking at – and how he was enjoying what he saw – was undeniable, I still managed to talk myself out of him being interested in me. Instead, I’d just disregarded it as him not being immune to appreciating a pair of tits when they were presented to him. 

In hindsight, knowing more about Oli, and knowing that he’d been checking me out for a while, it was now clear that this had been a regular occurrence – he’d just managed to be quite stealthy about it. 

And yet… I can’t help but wonder what he could possibly see in me. 

The sun was close to setting as I stared out into the forest view of mine and Liam’s room, the sleeping man next to me breathing slowly and deeply against my chest. And even though he was continuously showing me how special I was to him, I still felt entirely too lacklustre to be loved by him. 

I was a common garden rock, in the arms of a rare gem, and no matter how much I want to open my heart to him, to accept that I was already attached or wanted more, my gut still told me he’d wake up one day, realise how wrong he’d been about me, and see me for the disappointment that I really am. 

... Subscribe to the story on Ao3 for future updates

[heartofwritiing]

Hello!!! I saw that Lovejoy was being interviewed by MTV and I was wondering if you could write something where the reader is an interviewer and interviews them and Wilbur is like flirting with them the whole time, I totally understand if you don’t write it. You’re an awesome writer by the way:))

first omg thank you for saying im an awesome writer! i really appreciate it!! 🥹 second; THIS RIGHT HERE I will try my best since I don't really know how to write flirty but I hope you like it anyways!!

*I tweaked it a little that the reader is a fan of lovejoy but thats just me self reflecting… also this is unedited and kinda rushed so please forgive me if its not good and there are any mistakes!

musicianbur x fem!reader

-

“We are here with lovejoy at the biggest festival in new york city!” you didn’t try to hide your excitement as you spoke so enthusiastically into the microphone and looking directly into camera.

Lovejoy was one of your favorite up-and-coming bands. Working for an independent entertainment network gave you some advantages when meeting people in the industry you admired. But doing an exclusive interview with Lovejoy, you couldn’t wrap your head around. Since you first started listening to their music, you were so enthralled by their sound and lyricism, how could you not be a fan.

“How are you guys this hot afternoon?” you giggled and held the microphone towards the person standing closest to you, Wilbur. The lead singer of the band.

You would be lying if you didn’t find him attractive at all when you were standing right next to him. You couldn’t deny the nerves in the pit of your stomach standing so close to him that your arms bushed.

Following down the line were; Ash, Mark, and Joe at the end. They all chuckled at your remark about the weather and nodded in greeting.

“We're doing good! Just got off stage and feeling great! This is- well most of us anyways- first time in new york so we're excited to be here. ” Joe answered.

You nodded and brought the microphone back over to yourself.

“I was watching your whole set, and I gotta say, you guys were incredible! I am such a huge fan of you guys! I'm kinda freaking out that I get you to interview you!”

Other interviewers would always say that in apathetic tones but Wilbur could tell from the smile that graced your lips and sparkling eyes, your words were genuine.

“thank you so much, glad to meet a fan.” Wilbur winks. You almost stutter out the next question but play it off by clearing your throat, hoping the mic didn’t catch your falter.

“I know you guys love your fans, and they love you tenfold, so I imagine getting to meet them is such a great experience so, Do you have a favorite fan interaction?"

Mark was the one who answered the question first, but Wilbur wasn't listening to his response because he could not take his eyes away from you. In addition to being polite and praising their work so graciously, he also thought you were extremely attractive. Everything from your hair framing your face to your beautiful smile seemed to pull him closer to you like a magnet.

Wilbur's eyes burned into your skin while he watched you listen to Mark intently. You could feel him staring at you and it wasn't making you uncomfortable, but it made your pulse race in excitement. glancing at Wilbur briefly, He held your gaze for a few seconds before looking away quickly as he had gotten caught. You couldn't help but the mixture of thrill and confusion that washed over you. You knew something was happening between you two, but you weren't sure what it was.

Mark finished his response, then each member had answered until you had to hold the microphone up to wilbur for his reply.

"Yeah, I love every interaction I get with fans, especially when they're so genuine and lovely,"

You do not know why your mind automatically associated that with you, maybe it was the slight tone in Wilbur’s voice that gave you the impression.

At some point during the interview, Wilbur moved closer to you. Bystanders would see him shifting his feet to debauch his nervousness, but you understood what he was doing was on purpose trying to closer to you. The nearness between you made your face flush, and your heart quicken. You weren't sure what to do with yourself as every time you leaned over to let the others speak into the mic you were unintentionally brushing against Wilbur.

Sadly, the interview had to come to an end after you asked some questions that were sure to satisfy your producer’s. With an outro and a ‘cut’ from the camera man, you had called it a wrap.

Bidding your goodbyes to the band with firm handshakes and your genuine congratulations to their success you had finished your time with them.

When you turned to walk away to help finish packing up the equipment, a voice calling your name made you turn around in surprise.

Wilbur was jogging over to you with a nervous smile and reaching a hand over to you. He seemed like he had something on his mind he wanted to tell you so it was his turn to ask you a question. You waited with bated breath.

“I was wondering if I could get your number? if not I totally get it. I think you’re really nice and would maybe like to get coffee with me sometime?” Wilbur asks, shoving his hands in his jean pockets and rocking on his feet. It was honestly so adorable how anxious he was.

You on the other hand couldn’t believe the leader singer of your favorite band was asking you out- not asking you out- it was just your number and coffee. Maybe something more if you were lucky but, you wouldn’t get your hopes up.

There was no harm in accepting his offer to take you out so you simply said;

“I would love to,” Reaching for your phone in your back pocket, you handed him the device and he typed his number into your contacts.

Once he was finished, he passed your phone back to you and grinned, like he had just won the lottery he was so happy.

“I’ll text you so I can let you know when Im free!” you say, sliding your phone back into the pocket of your jeans. Wilbur nods.

“We leave in a few days, end of the tour so we get a few days off before flying home so i have plenty of time to see you.”

“Im looking forward to it,” you say and his smile brightens somehow.

With a quick hug and ‘message you soon’, you both say your goodbyes when you get an all clear from your crew the van is ready to go.

Wilbur went back to join in with his group falling into conversation. With one final wave as you both gave each other one last look of longing, you climbed into the van being greeted by air conditioning and sat back with a sigh.

You couldn’t help the butterflies in your stomach as you drove off from the thought of the next time you would see Wilbur soot again.

[alyona11]

Hi! So I am very new to Hadestown and I am watching the bootleg. I really love the dynamic between Hades and Persephone, but there is one thing that kind of rub me in not so good way, is Hey Little Song Bird implied that Hades and Eurydice slept together? I am seeing a lot of interpretation and it genuinely confused the hell out of me asdfghk

Hi! Well, tbf it's a tricky question, but the short answer is that Hadestown suggests that something might have happened behind closed doors. The rest is up to audience and actor's interpretation.

For example, Anaïs Mitchell often mentions in Working On a Song that in early workshops she often went with the idea that Hades cheats and pretty regularly even though these affairs mean nothing to him since the only person he loves is Persephone. It even had a cut song:

In her early drafts/productions of Hadestown you can often get the vibe that from her point of view it doesn't matter as much because they are eternal beings and love each other since the world began so does it even matter for them?

However, by NYTW this story line was cut apart from Persephone's line in How Long:

"I don't mind if you look at other girls, now and then"

"The girl means nothing to me"

"I know"

Plus the staging in NYTW Papers and Hades' protective peacock behavior with Eurydice around Orpheus in the scene also gives you a thought that they might have had an affair? Plus some bits like the fact that she has a line in Why We Build a Wall and her words "But don't you see? That's different with me!" - "Different than who? They thought they were different too!" Could also be interpreted as Hades suggesting some special conditions by granting her a role of a romantic interest. Whether the interest is real or not and did he use it or not is again up to your interpretation of NYTW Hades. He is more of a morally dubious guy (as all ht Hades are) so it's more up to you to either believe he would have cheated to put Persephone in her place or would just use showing off Eurydice as a brutal way to get Persephone's interest.

As for Broadway, I think it's still suggested and you can find profs in the lyrics but I think that they are what they are - suggestive and leave you to interprete it whichever way you feel comfortable. I think the biggest suggestion remains in Flowers with the line:

'I trembled when he laid me out

"You won’t feel a thing," he said, "when you go down"'

Which kinda can have a death meaning and sex meaning, tbf someone could have written a good article on how those topics are connected in Hadestown. So here, again chose one of the two or both.

But again, Broadway also changed the lyrics in How Long and the whole staging in Papers so it's less suggestive.

My personal opinion based on Broadway production is that it all depends on how the actor plays it and whether you believe this particular Hades is the type to sleep with Eurydice to get Persephone's attention and prove he is still attractive or he is more of a person who doesn't care about having the affair and his only goal is to get Persephone to react somehow by composing such a messed up hurtful plan. Personally, I prefer the second option maybe because I'm a pussy or maybe because I see Hades (whom I mostly base on Patrick Page ht Broadway previews) like a person who is desperate to get Persephone's attention in such a radical way like a cat pushing objects from your table to see your reaction. He wants to be stopped, he wants any reaction from Persephone. He even touches her by the shoulder before going into the office like "Look!! Look! I'm absolutely totally leaving! To cheat! See! Hey come on! I'll even take off my tie to show that I'm serious! Don't you wanna stop me???". Seems kinda way too extra to me. Like he could have just gotten to the office after parading a pretty girl in front of her and it would be understood that it's for an affair. But he takes so much time to make sure she understands that he can find himself someone when all he wants is for her to come back to him with open arms. I'm not sure he has the guts to actually damage his relationship to an irreversible degree (considering Broadway Hades is never stated as a cheater before the Eurydice sub-plot). Like it's one thing to take a mortal before her time and parade her in front of your wife (because what is a mortal life after all?) as a "replacement" and it's the other way to actually cheat on her and deal with the fact that she might never forgive him again if it is a deal-breaker for her considering they seem to be true to each other for all these years.

One interesting thing to note here as well is how Hades actors play the reaction to Persephone's line in How Long:

"He has the kind if love that you and I once had"

Because his instant reaction is "OH SHIT once had?? Does she think I don't love her still?? OH SHIT I BROUGHT THE GIRL THIS IS WHY SHE MIGHT THINK THAT", so he answers to that:

"The girl means nothing to me!"

Depending on the actor and she show the line sounds either scared, confused, angry, undignified etc. So it's once again up to you to interprete why he reacts this way: is he angry because she suggested he would actually cheated on her? Is he angry because she called him out on that affair? Is he confused and scared because she thinks he doesn't love her anymore because of his foolish decision to tease her in such a cruel way?

That's up to you.

P.S. I think one of the most interesting studies of the subject and Hades' character that I've read in a fic for that matter was the Songbird chapter of Winters Nigh and Summers O're. You can check it out, but I will warn you that it's probably one of the heaviest chapters of that fic in the emotional sense and it has explicit parts (don't worry, nothing bad happens to Eurydice. Well...apart from dying, I guess), so check out the warnings if you decide to read it.

[flaresanimedump]

Why Fukuzawa is the Hottest BSD Character

*Cracks knuckles* ok here’s “what’s likeable about Fukuzawa/Why would Ranpo like Fukuzawa” because I saw that again recently

1) HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?!?!?

Twunks are agelessly hot. Don’t pretend you didn’t think movie stars 10+ years older than you were attractive as a teen. And everyone currently thirsting over BTS - he was the same age as they are when Ranpo met him.

2) You like strong, warm hugs where it feels like you’re swallowed up in the other person’s arms? You like the safe feeling it gives you?

What if those strong warm arms belonged to a bodyguard??

3) Ok now what if those strong arms belonged to a bodyguard who was also once a bad guy.

You know those hands can kill because they have before. But they’re gentle with you, careful. He’s on his way to being reformed but you’re seeing the good that was always there to start with, if only the world hadn’t pushed him into violence. This is Bungo Stray Dogs so just go ahead and briefly imagine this as a dog rescued from dogfighting that’s the absolute sweetest thing you’ve ever met. Now transfer that feeling to Fukuzawa, a man who was used by the government in a war Ranpo was too young to be part of, a rogue who’s learned the error of his ways and seeks to repent, a reformed bad boy with a heart of gold, you might say??? Incredible I’ll take 12.

4) Before we get into the long character analysis stuff I am going to try to impart to you the allure of an older man who isn’t a creep.

4.1) They’re wise and confident. They can offer help nobody your age can.

4.2) They stay calmer under pressure. An island of serenity.

4.3) When they get mad they usually get shit done. Way less drama. Fukuzawa may be a slight exception because of his former boyfriends but he has done his best to kill them both himself so I stand by the statement.

4.4) They’re still very human. Fukuzawa specifically gets passionate and loses himself in emotion when he’s worried or afraid, but it takes a lot to crack his exterior chill. It’s extremely hot when you get a reaction you had to work for.

5) Fukuzawa is about the most dependable husband-type we have in BSD.

He built up a whole agency to support his and Ranpo’s life together (a lifestyle they both wanted to continue, as mentioned in 4th anime opening Shirushi) despite initially being bad at 90% of the skills required.

(Rough Shirushi lyrics in question below)

Fukuzawa's described as "afraid of strangers" and thinks to himself how everything about leading a company is something he could never do in Origins,

and then we see him 12 years later and he's worked really hard to be able to do it. We get all these hints about how connected he is now

and we see how good he is at leading the ADA but there are times when it's clear it's something he adopted and not what he was born for, like when Mori started asking about strategy books and he'd only read the most common one, or how he plays Go but was reading a book about the rules in one of the official arts set in present day.

Of course, Tsun Tzu isn't exactly light reading, but I don't think Asagiri would make the character based on the most notable proponent of education in Japan be less well read than his opponent if it wasn't core to Fukuzawa's character in BSD. He's worked so hard to be what the ADA needs and wasn't/isn't a genius at it but still does well, and he basically switched careers on a whim at 33 to support Ranpo. Imagine if somebody did all that for you. If Ranpo wasn’t in love with him before I think that would be the killing blow.

6) Even if Fukuzawa’s not a genius, he’s able to understand and accept others more than any of the "normal" people in Yokohama.

He thought Ranpo was amazing when everyone else thought he was annoying (Fukuzawa also thought he was annoying of course, but the amazing part won out in the end). He experienced the full brunt of Ranpo’s observation and felt bad that he got upset over it when literally every other person who’d encountered Ranpo over the course of 2 years had been angry, shouted, and in the case of the Police Academy dorm head and presumably Ranpo's classmates, beat him for it.

We can guess from the agency members Fukuzawa employs that he’s a freak magnet and it’s probably because of this trait of his. I’d say he has ‘clear vision’ in that he’s able to see if someone is good or bad beyond societal norms even though he is aware of them himself.

Basically, Ranpo doesn’t like “common sense,” and while Fukuzawa is familiar enough with it to function normally in society, he’s one of very few like that who aren’t governed by it.

7) Fukuzawa is a genuinely good, kind person.

He listened to Ranpo more than anybody but his parents would, took him in when nobody else would. He refused to become a soldier, to go and kill other soldiers with no power over the outcome of the war, in order to assassinate the officials actually responsible for continuing the war.

I’d argue that Fukuchi was trying to follow in his footsteps with his grand war-stopping plan – that he felt Fukuzawa’s decision to kill the fewest possible people to end the war was correct. And Fukuzawa made personal sacrifices to do that, letting his best friend go to the front alone, not knowing if he’d live or die. Losing friends and losing the respect of those who did come back when he quit.

But even though there’s a good chance that what Fukuzawa did saved a lot of lives, and even though the people we're aware he killed were unquestionably evil, he still felt that his feelings at the time put him in the wrong. He was still horrified at what he was capable of and quit once all the officials who could restart the war were dead.

There aren’t many characters in BSD with that kind of moral fiber. Dazai’s not trying to repent in the ADA, he’s just there to do good because a friend said he should. Ranpo’s not a bad guy but he’s not exactly caring or in possession of a strong moral compass.

Atsushi’s obsession with doing good is so tightly wound into his own self-worth it’s almost involuntary, which takes away some of his agency in his actions. We know Tanizaki is willing to commit murder without fear, Kunikida was fine with letting Atsushi be kidnapped, and everyone in the Port Mafia is morally gray at best. Even the Special Operations Division is governed by a “needs of the many over the needs of the few” mentality.

Arguably the only other characters who even come close to this level of humanity are Oda and Chuuya, but Oda's not in this essay and even Chuuya doesn’t care as much about collateral damage. The only characters in the cannibalism arc who drew a line to stop their groups from killing each other and anybody who got too close were Fukuzawa and Mori, and Mori’s morality would require another essay. So I’d argue that in a series where many are great, Fukuzawa is a very rare good man.

As illustrated by his scene with Fukuchi and Teruko. Fukuchi is a great man willing to work himself to the bone and die for others, but he’s also willing to “curse” Fukuzawa, as Ranpo said in the finale, with the long-term burden of his plan, and to kill innocent people to make it all happen. Teruko is a great girl willing to carry out Fukuchi’s orders out of either devotion to him or to justice, but she’s willing to kill and frame a man she knows isn't a villain to do it. The ends justify the means.

(To be clear I think this makes her a great character, but not one whose allegiance is to simple good-ness.)

Fukuzawa isn’t willing to kill someone who isn’t evil. He WAS willing to kill his evil mad friend to save his other friends. We saw that when he first struck Fukuchi down, so it wasn’t the closeness of their relationship that stayed his hand after he understood Fukuchi’s plan. It was that he felt the ends did not justify the means.

Virtually every other character in this series would have done it, thus: Fukuzawa is a good man in a series full of great people.

And that is what I ultimately think made Ranpo attach himself to Fukuzawa and listen to him without question despite Fukuzawa being an idiot in comparison. Let's face it, Fukuzawa's a bit of a himbo. But Ranpo realized he could trust Fukuzawa to know right from wrong at the same time he realized he couldn't trust himself to know: when Fukuzawa shouted at him after his rescue in Origins.

Ranpo was in the process of doing exactly what all the other characters do: whatever it took to catch the bad guys/stop the bad thing from happening. He allowed himself to be kidnapped and accepted the risk that he might be shot in order to find the hideout of the men responsible for, so far, a murder and a kidnapping conspiracy with Very Bad implications for the peace in Japan (kidnapping Natsume is not something they would do JUST for a ransom).

Objectively, without considering the human element, this appears to be the correct choice. Ranpo being in temporary danger isn't a big deal when the grand scheme has such major red flags for national security. Many many more people were probably in danger, and we now know the group was somehow tied to Fyodor so yeah, he was on a Very Troubling Thread. But even without knowing Fyodor's connection it seems sort of brilliant and ideal.

The ends justify the means.

But Fukuzawa didn't see it that way. He didn't care about catching the bad guys, he didn't care about efficiency or Ranpo's plans or anything of the sort. He was the only guy in the city whose main focus was on the human element - on Ranpo. Fukuzawa presented a fundamentally different way of thinking that Ranpo and the majority of the cast just aren't capable of, and it's natural to him. And I think Ranpo understood that in a split second when Fukuzawa said he shouldn't put his life in danger and decided that even if Fukuzawa was essentially blind compared to him, Fukuzawa's decisions would always be better than his.

SO that's what I think Ranpo would like about Fukuzawa and what makes Fukuzawa attractive!! Also he's really sexy :D

[evanpeterswifeyyy]

Phantom of The Opera rant because I just watched the full movie of my favorite stage play and it’s on my mind.

Warning: controversial/ unpopular fandom opinion. Key word: OPINION. Excessive yapping—I’m pulling up recipets yall. This is actually an essay. Despite that, I will definitely make some spelling mistakes, explain things poorly or repeat points. I am human, thanks.

I’m not sure if this is controversial or not, but I don’t fully understand how people like Christine and the Phantom together. At a basic level, I can understand why:

- It has dark romance themes/ tropes (totally different topic I could rant about)

-It’s taboo and edgy, kinda raw

-Many actors who play the Phantom are conventionally attractive

-Christine and the Phantom usually have more on-screen chemsitry (chemistry does not always mean romantic, please be mindful of that)

So, I wanted to write a small little essay picking apart why I believe The Phantom and Christine are a toxic and abusive pairing.

This is not an attack on anyone who pairs them together, nor do I honestly care that much if you do, I just don’t see many in-depth second opinions about this.

With this knowledge, proceed at your own discretion and be respectful:

I want to start off with the main reasons why I believe the Phantom and Christine should NOT be paired together. To preface, I have only seen TWO pieces of media related to the POT. I will be using those as my evidence, as they are also the most popular reditions of the play that I’m sure most of you will know and reference yourself.

Those being:

The 25th Anniversary stage play with Sierra Boggess and Ramin Karimloo

The Phantom of the Opera screenplay starring Emmy Rossum

To begin, in the screenplay Christine has been shown to have known the Phantom since she was a child. Throughout multiple reditions, Christine has always been portrayed as in her late teens to early 20’s during the main events of the play and the Phantom is depicted somewhere around his 40’s-50’s. That in it of itself is creepy.

I understand that age gaps are a big topic in fandoms and media, and I would have little problem with this age gap if it weren’t for the fact that it is implied many times that he has been training her to sing since her father died. To get to Christine’s level in the opera, that would take years. Even if she already had vocal talent. Meaning that she was a minor when he met her.

That would be grooming. Literally.

To add onto this point, I want to paraphrase and quote some of the things the Phantom says to/ about Christine.

“Sing for me, my angel of music”

“Since I first heard you sing. I have needed you with me, to serve me, to sing. For my music”

Now, anyone can interpret these lyrics differently, but how I interpret them is:

He is using Christine for her voice. He has groomed her (in multiple ways) and polished her voice to sing so he can use her for his music. I mean, he literally kills and threatens people who do not allow Christine to be the star of every play once the main events happen.

He calls her his “angel of music”. Which might be endearing, if you remember the fact that he has been grooming her since she was a child to “serve” him. This is an objectifying name. He is saying this in contrast with Christine’s angel of music, which is a literal angel that her father promised to send her. To Christine, her angel of music is her father’s love and legacy. For The Phantom, it is his magnum opus: Christine.

Speaking of Christine and her “Angel of Music”. This leads me to my next point:

The Phantom pretends to be Christine’s father/ angel of music to manipulate and trick her.

During both graveyard scenes (the musical and the screenplay) Christine says:

“Angel or father, friend or phantom?”

The way I interpret this:

It is not a coincidence the comparison. [The split/ play on words]

Angel or friend?

Father or phantom?

Christine believes the angel to either be her father, or an entity he sent. When the Phantom says to her in the next moment:

“Have you forgotten your angel?”

That is him admitting he knows that Christine has believed he was the angel of music/ her father teaching and guiding her this whole time. And in the same song he is manipulating her, putting back on the facade of being her “angel of music” and leading her back to him—where Raoul has to snap her out of it.

Raoul has to literally tell Christine that the Phantom is not her father in both the play and the screenplay. Further solidifying the fact that she believes that the Phantom is her father or a being sent by him.

If we take that into fact, that means that the whole time up until at least now, she has only seen the Phantom as a fatherly figure.

Now, let’s talk about the final confrontation.

I’m already hearing the “but she says she loves him at the end!” Or “then why did she kiss him?!”

Glad you asked!

The final confrontation is the most blatant showcase of the Phantom’s delusion and abuse.

First, lets it back to the fact that the Phantom is shown to be a murderer. Someone who kills for their own benefit without remorse. Christine says it herself, and there are multiple scenes where she speaks of the Phantom and is afraid. She believes the Phantom may even kill her if she does not comply with his rules.

Quotes/ Paraphrases here (from the broadway and movie scripts):

“(to RAOUL, pleading)

Raoul, I'm frightened -

don't make me do this

Raoul, it scares me -

don't put me through this

ordeal by fire

he'll take me, I know

we'll be parted for ever

he won't let me go” (Christine talking about doing the Don Juan play)

“RAOUL

When will that be?

It's an engagement,

not a crime!” (Raoul fighting with Christine about hiding their engagement. It’s implied here that Christine is hiding their engagement from the Phantom because she knows it will upset him.)

The most damning piece of evidence:

“CHRISTINE

Twisted every way,

what answer can I give?

Am I to risk my life,

to win the chance to live?

Can I betray the man

who once inspired my voice?

Do I become his prey?

Do I have any choice?

He kills without a thought,

he murders all that's good

I know I can't refuse

and yet, I wish I could?

Oh God - if I agree,

what horrors wait for me

in this, the Phantom's opera?” (Christine speaks about the Phantom after being told she is forced to play in Don Juan)

With this information, we know that the Phantom kills for selfish reasons. He will do anything to get what he wants. Regardless of even the feelings of Christine.

Back to confrontation, Christine in the movie is shown to have the Phantom force her to put on the wedding dress. She clearly does not want to do it, but feels threatened by him to do so.

The whole time she is uncomfortable. Then, he captures Raoul.

He gives her an incentive and she only has two choices:

-Admit she loves him to free Raoul

-Deny she loves him and kill Raoul

Now, if you know anything about incentives and abusive people. This is the most toxic thing to ever do. It is completely self-serving and both Christine and Raoul know that he is going to kill him regardless and is pressuring her to lie and say she loves him.

Quotes/ Paraphrases:

“CHRISTINE:

Farewell my fallen idol and false friend

We had such hopes, and now those hopes are shattered!

PHANTOM:

Too late for turning back, too late for prayers and useless pity!

RAOUL:

Say you love him and my life is over

PHANTOM:

All hope of cries for help; no point in fighting!

RAOUL/PHANTOM:

For either way you choose, he has to win/you cannot win!”

The Phantom is not doing this out of love. No one who loves someone would threaten to kill the person they love/ choose instead of them. The Phantom up until this point is possesive, infatuated and obsessed wih Christine. There are no signs of real love from him. It is all self serving and an idolized image of Christine.

When Christine shows him a bit of kindness during this moment I believe she is being genuine, but I also believe she’s only doing it to save herself.

Christine feels pity for the Phantom because she realizes during this encounter that he has been traumatized and isolated so bad that he feels he has to torture others to get what he wants. That he truly believes that no one but Christine will love him, and therefore he must make sure at all costs that he will get what he wants. Christine, being empathetic, tells the Phantom that she hears him.

I don’t think Christine kissing the Phantom is out of love. Not in a romantic sense. Christine kisses the Phantom not only to save her and Raoul’s lives, but also because she is feeling pity for the Phantom. He has never felt the physical touch of another person as he says in his own words, so she kisses him.

This obviously works, and she sets him free.

Lets talk about the musical because there’s a scene after this where she returns while the Phantom is wallowing after freeing them.

I still don’t think Christine returns because she loves the Phantom. Up until now, she has no reason to except for the fact that she finally humanizes him. No, I think that this scene just further solidifies that she yes, she loves the Phantom. But not in a romantic sense. From the beginning she has been shown to have a fatherly view of the Phantom, and I believe that paired with the memories of her father and the years they spent—she returns because she continues to see her father in him and feels pity for him. She wants to help the Phantom be happy because he brought her a piece of her father. Possibly she even still believes that he was in fact sent by her father to teach her music and take care of her in some way.

This is my interpretation of the scene.

A point I see brought up A LOT when it comes to justifying Christine’s romance with The Phantom is:

“Well, Raoul is abusive in the second rendition and her and the Phantom have an affair.”

Have you ever seen Cinderella 2? Have you ever heard of it? There are 3 Cinderella movies.

But we all refer to the first one because A. It’s the most popular and a classic B. The other movies sold poorly because they were bad and nobody asked for them.

My point here is: so is Love Never Dies.

I said what I fucking said. Cry about it.

But lets imagine for a moment if we took Love Never Dies as part of the main canon:

I don’t think Christine should be with Raoul either.

Another point I see a lot is: “They just meet again and instantly get engaged”

Which yes, that’s definitely a point of contention.

But considering just The Phantom Of the Opera in this case, they have known each other since they were kids. And considering the time period the events are set in, this is actually not that surprising or uncommon and makes sense. Even if Christine didn’t love Raoul, given her position, it would have been beneficial for her to get married. And it might as well be someone she’s known for a long time.

But if you were to ask me, without being forced to choose between Raoul or the Phantom, I would tell you that I believe that she should be with neither.

Both are abusive towards Christine. One just more literally stated than the other.

Edit because I forgot to add this crucial point:

The Phantom of the Opera was NOT a story created by Andrew Lloyd Webber (the man who created the musical adaptation and scores)

It is a story from 1910 by french author Gaston Leroux. If we take that context into consideration, (as someone who has not yet read the book) the movie (based on the musical) and the musical are not accurate representations of the original material or intention.

There were definitely creative liberties taken or misinterpretations. Especially with Love Never Dies.

There were black and white movies made of the story as well. The Phantom is specifically portrayed as a real life monster. This image of him being a handsome man with a scarred face and tragic past only happened in the 20th century.

I believe that is the conclusion of this rant/ essay. I know this probably won’t get a lot of reach, but if you read this whole thing (whether you agree or not), thanks a lot. Truly.

Hopefully this will add more discussion to the topic and give people a more open minded view on the topic, and realize the real nature of the Phantom. There are so many ways to interpret and art piece, and time and time again, this is what I see in it. So to see people romanticize their relationship always gives me the ick (ofc, you do you boo, I can’t stop you). So I’m tired of arguing individually with people, so I might as well have a full reference to come back to.

I’m sure there’s more evidence and points I could have made, but this is long enough. Regardless, I hope you can take away something from this, and if you want to possibly hear about any more of my controversial opinions—leave a note so I know! <3

[reidsaurora]

"With You, I'd Dance" ~ L. Alvez

Summary: When the last rainstorm of the year comes upon Washington DC, there's only one person you'd want to spend it with.

Pairing: Luke Alvez x GN!Reader

Word Count: 579

Content Warning: mild swearing, other than that it's just super fluffy <3

Extra Notes: when in doubt, name it after a Taylor Swift lyric

Originally Written: 10/19/2023 through 10/30/2023

Criminal Minds masterlist can be found here!

Halloweek masterlist can be found here!

As soon as the slightest pitter-patter of raindrops started to fall on your balcony, you were jumping up from your couch and running to grab your coat.

Luke's soft chuckle floated through the room, filling your ears with a sound that you would play on repeat if it were possible. "Where are you going?"

"To play in the rain," you answered, shoving on your rain boots.

He jumped up from his spot on the sofa defensively. "Woah, babe, are you crazy? It's freezing out there. You'll catch a cold in seconds."

You simply shook your head, zipping up your coat and heading for the balcony. "It's the last true rainfall before snow starts. I'm not wasting it."

"Baby-"

You were already sliding open the glass door. "Luke, you can either bundle up and come catch a cold with me, or you can stay in here and watch your silly little sports team get their asses kicked."

He met you with narrowed eyes, his hands settling on his hips in exasperation. "They're just having a bad season," he grumbled, grabbing his coat from the rack.

A triumphant smile flashed across your face as Luke followed you outside, frowning as raindrops hit his face. Contrastingly, you were grinning as the water dripped down your own face, spinning around and taking it all in.

"How is this enjoyable?" he questioned, though a smile had plastered itself to his lips.

"See, this is why they say opposites attract," you rebutted. "One man's rain is another person's sunshine."

Luke chuckled, hands meeting your hips and pulling you in close. "And that's why you're always catching colds this time of year."

"I don't mind. No better feeling when you get to enjoy the beauty of a rainstorm," you replied, a content sigh following the words. "Dance with me?"

One of his hands moved from your waist to your hand, your fingers linking like puzzle pieces. His chin rested on the top of your head, his touch enveloping you like the warmest blanket. The rain cascaded around the two of you like a bubble, drowning out the rest of the world until it was just you and him.

"Sing for me?" you asked quietly, as if speaking too loud would shatter the protective dome you'd built for yourselves.

Luke huffed in fake annoyance, but still did as told, beginning to hum out a familiar tune he was constantly singing to you, despite his endless reminders that he couldn't sing. "When my time comes around," the familiar Hozier lyrics rumbled out of him softly, "lay me gently in the cold dark earth."

You met his gaze as your bodies swayed back and forth, cheeks heating as he reached your favorite lyric of the chorus. "No grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her."

Your heart swelled with adoration and joy as he spun you around, lyrics being whispered into your ear like secrets, Luke's warmth breath fanning across your skin. The rain slowly came to a halt, but you continued being held in his embrace, perfectly content to stay in the light of the cloudy sky forever if you were allowed.

His lips met your forehead as he pulled you in closer, muscular arms wrapping around you in a cozy hug. "In case you needed a reminder, you're the only person I'll gladly stand in a rainstorm with."

"In case you needed a reminder, you're the only person I'd want out here with me."

So sorry this is just now getting posted! My week has been far busier than I anticipated when I first planned this event but I am working hard to get everything written so it will be posted in time for Halloween! Thank you all for being patient with me as I navigate through all this! ❤️

-> taglist: @1234-angelika @drayshadow @alexxavicry @nomajdetective @cordyandbilliehavemyheart @darkloverfox @sammyrenae68 @cherrycandle @asgardprincess97 @gh0stgurl @randomwriter1021 @eddieharrington @danielle143 @esposadomd @reidselle @dungeons-are-too-cold @louderfortheback @reidsbookclub @cwritesforfun @cynbx @lukeclvez

[holylulusworld]

The story

Summary: She's not going to let him down.

Pairing: TFATW!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, self-loathing, Bucky feels not worth being loved, written in Bucky’s PoV, fluff

A/N: Inspired by the song “The Story” by Brandi Carlile. Lyrics are taken from the song.

Sequel to: Ruined

No one wants to hear my story. I get it. I’m a relic from the past most people want to forget about.

Why think about dark times and the monsters I worked for? Or what I had to endure.

Even my best friend, the man I considered my brother, left me to go back to better times.

Steve wanted to live the dream he believed he wanted. He didn’t care that I had to hold his hand when he died. 

I’m stuck in this world, with my past hanging over me like a dark cloud. There is nothing I can do about it. 

The only light in my life is her. She makes the world brighter, and my life bearable.

Sometimes I believe I’m not attractive enough for her. I have lines across my face, and scars litter my body and mind. 

She’s perfect, looking like an angel. Every man turns their head when she enters a room. I always wonder why she chose me.

My girl left this perfect guy. He had it all. The looks, a shit-ton of money, and a good reputation. I can’t even hate him. It’s not his fault that my life got fucked up so bad that I can’t even sleep.

No wonder he fought tooth and nail and even played dirty to get her back. He spread rumors and lies about me, and Sam. Telling everyone we turned dark and tried to extort him. 

Y/N refused to go back to him. She even sent the huge diamond ring I’ll never be able to afford back to him. My girl told him to fuck off and grow up.

Still, I hate the man I see in the mirror. He’s not the cocky man going to war, or dancing with the ladies.

I feel like my body and soul are scared so badly that I’m not going to heal. And I don’t mean my missing arm, and the pain I feel most days.

“Baby,” her soft voice brings me out of my thoughts. She breaks the endless circle of self-loathing once again. “Stop it right now.”

Y/N wraps her arms around my waistline from behind. She dips her head to look at me in the mirror. “I love you the way you are,” Y/N says and kisses the scar tissue around my metal arm. “There is not a single thing I’d change about you, baby.”

“Y/N,” I stare at the man in the mirror as she steps next to me to take my hand. “I—”

“Look again, B,“ she says. “For me. I want you to see the man I see.”

I exhale sharply and drop my gaze. It’s so hard to look at myself and like what I see. 

“What do you see in me? I’m…no good.”

“Bucky, look again,” she squeezes my hand, holding it tightly. “Please…”

I lift my gaze, and oddly I see a different man. 

All of these lines across my face Tell you the story of who I am So many stories of where I've been And how I got to where I am

The longer I stare at myself, the more I see.

I see the young man, full of dreams, who tries to lift his small and weak friend up. 

I see the soldier, becoming a man during endless nights spent in fear of getting killed.

I see the prisoner, praying that the monsters capturing him end his life.

I see the man, freed of his shackles as his best friend became a hero.

I see the man fighting alongside Captain America. Brave and fierce.

I see the wounded man, torn apart and put back together by the enemy.

I see the Winter Soldier.

I see the man buying plums first thing after he escaped his handlers.

I see the man fighting alongside his best friend.

I see the man losing it all again.

I see the man finding love when he is about to give up.

“I’m nothing without you, doll. You helped me become this man too,” I dip my head to glance at my girl. “I want you to look at yourself too and see the woman I see.”

She smiles, and we look at the mirror again. Together.

But these stories don't mean anything When you've got no one to tell them to It's true, I was made for you

“You came a long way, Bucky,” she says. “I know that there are still things you don’t want to talk about. But if you are ready, I’ll be here to hold your hand. Always.”

“Always.”

Tags in reblog.

[eerna]

Wait okay omg I would love to hear your thoughts about the Broadway Mulan Rouge because I also have many feelings about it, most of them disappointment unfortunately lol. It could've been amazing!! But I just!! I don't feel it like I felt it in the movie idk man

Yeah, I am the same... I was SO hyped when I heard that they were turning it into a musical, but in retrospect it is pretty clear it was never gonna be what I wanted it to be :(

THE MUSIC. To me, MR! has this very recognizable music style where it is a jukebox musical, but every song is rewritten and its accompaniment changed so that they all fit together with the soundtrack of the film. It's percussion heavy, it's piano heavy, very jazzy/mid century film music? If you know the songs and try to sing along, you will fail, because they're just that different. That's why it doesn't suffer from the jukebox musical curse, in my opinion. However, BMR! totally removed those stylistic changes and turned them all into pretty standard musical theater arrangements of pop songs, and they all overstay their welcome because they aren't even shortened. NOW it suffers from the jukebox musical curse, bc how am I supposed to take's Christine's "I want" song seriously if it's FIREWORK by KATY PERRY. The worst example of this is what they did to El Tango de Roxanne, the most iconic part of the movie. In MR!, it's a mashup of Roxanne by The Police (representing the Argentinian's tale) and Tanguera by Mariano Mores with original lyrics (representing Christian's angst over Satine). Both songs take turns and overlap, pointing out the parallels, rising in intensity until everyone starts screaming and crying. Absolute insanity. I don't know a single person who wasn't floored by this song when they first saw the scene. In BMR!, it's Christian's solo, which means no parallels, most of the song is Roxanne and the iconic Tanguera melody shows up for like 40 seconds in the beginning and in the end just so they can say they put it into the show. There is no rising tension, there is no overlaps, no development, it's just. There. Like yes you put it into the show, but pretty much all of its symbolism and memorable aspects are gone. And the jukebox issues are stabbing you in the eyes. WHY IS CHRISTIAN SINGING ABOUT A WOMAN NAMED ROXANNE. WHO IS ROXANNE. IT MAKES SENSE IF ROXANNE IS THE NAME OF THE WOMAN FROM THE ARGENTINIAN'S STORY, BUT IT MAKES NO SENSE THAT CHRISTIAN IS THE ONE SINGING ABOUT HER. God.

THE WEIRDNESS. MR!'s aesthetic is super interesting to me because it represents its aura of sex appeal and hedonism through the lenses of grotesque. It would have been super easy to put the sex workers into sexy outfits and glam up their faces and make them sing seductive songs on beautiful stages, but no. Their outfits are eye stabbing, their makeup is garish, and they're screeching and throwing themselves around violently on stages that are dark, kitchy, claustrophobic, and loud, while the camera switches every 2 seconds and your brain feels like it's running on fumes. AND IT IS SO FUN. The club looks SO nasty and SO fun and I wanna go there. However, BMR! doesn't want to alienate anyone, so they did... Exactly what I said. Everyone is universally attractive, the stage is very clean-cut and open, the appeal of the club is played completely straight. This is best shown in the production Christian writes for the club. I know that the play from the movie is not very PC so I totally get why they would change some of it, but... They turned it from a vibrant, oversaturated opera with enormous musical numbers that lends itself perfectly to the big dramatic finale taking place during its premiere into a THREE CHARACTER CHAMBER DRAMA. Like who tf signed off on this change. WHO. LET ME SEE. WHO SAID THAT THE FINALE OF THE ENTIRE STORY WILL BE SET IN A STAGE IMITATION OF A LIVING ROOM. GOD I AM SO UPSET.

THE ROMANCE. MR! works because Christian is a naiive, innocent, idealistic poet with grand ideas of love. THAT'S why Satine falls for him - he is completely different from other men, and he makes her believe love can be more than what she'd been given throughout her life. Also, he's never been in love, so everything feels much more real and intense for him. In BMR! he is a completely different character, an overconfident seductive sexyman. Why would he be any different than all the other men in Satine's life??? Because he can write good??????? She has met many writers before, as we know, so what makes this guy different????? And not only are we less forgiving of his bad actions because he is older and experienced, HE IS SO MUCH WORSE IN THE SHOW. In MR! he sells his typerwriter to buy a ticket for Satine's premiere to go see her one last time and scream at how horrible she is - bad, and horrible to watch. In BMR!, he sells his typewriter to BUY A GUN and goes to Satine's premiere SO HE CAN KILL HER OR HIMSELF ONSTAGE - absolutely insane and horrible and how tf did we get here. AND LET ME REMIND YOU that this version of the story DOESN'T EVEN HAVE THE STORY CONTEXT OF EL TANGO DE ROXANNE, in which Roxanne's lover kills her, SO THEY REMOVED THE ONE BIT OF FORESHADOWING THAT COULD HAVE MADE IT MAKE SENSE.

THE REST OF THE WRITING. BMR! tried to give depth to side characters and their relationship with Satine, but that means they totally sidelined that Satine is a deeply unhappy person in a very unhealthy situation. They tried to make it look like she is choosing to marry the Duke (YEAH I FORGOT TO MENTION, THE DUKE IS A SEXY SEXY GUY WHO WANTS TO MARRY HER IN THIS VERSION) without any pressure put onto her by the club, but that makes it all so much more boring. MR! is far from a deep analysis of Satine's friendships, but I thought that the little bits and pieces we saw were delightfully complex. Satine is going to become the Duke's mistress because he will sponsor the club, and everyone employed there will live a better life. Ziegler is her father figure, but he is also her pimp who is pushing her into the relationship. He feels sorry for her and obviously cares for her outside of their business relationship, but he is so deep in the "underworld life" that he no longer sees a way out for anyone. But when it becomes apparent that Satine can no longer withstand the pressure, that the life they are all living is something she can't deal with, everyone just. Helps her out. They bail her out of the tower, they threaten the Duke, they stand with her, it's not verbal, it's all in the actions. It's why we can have a grand finale where everyone sings and dances while the Duke is crying in the background. BMR! has the girls telling Satine they care about her and her telling them she will protect them, but they are completely useless in the plot. No one comes for her in the tower, and the play is a THREE PERSON DRAMA so Christian is the only one there to stand with her in the end.

THE PLAY. I already said most of my issues with it but just to point it out once more. There is nothing more annoying to me than a piece of media that's about a piece of media being written, and then that piece of media ends up unseen. Throughout MR! we see the play being written, we see many scenes being added, hear a ton of songs from it, the issue of the plot resolution is a big dramatic point, and the finale of the movie is also the final scene from the play. In BMR! we see one scene, the show's end, that keeps being repeated over and over again.

SATINE'S WHITE DRESS. It deserved its own point bc what the hell is this.

This is already super long, but this show annoys me so much I could legit keep going lol. Everything is worse. Everything is toothless and clawless. It's such wasted potential.