#AND!! I still have the Christian pov books to read

[bookwyrminspiration]

horrible news everyone! the phrase “fair point well made” has apparently invaded my vocabulary. what’s the problem with that, you may ask? well the problem is I picked that up from 50 SHADES OF GREY

[avelera]

Sandman Meta: Hob has exactly zero way of figuring out who Dream is (before they reunite)

More than once in a fic I've written from Hob's POV I've had readers note their astonishment that Hob has not yet figured out Dream's identity, even if Dream does not reveal it himself.

Even in fics of mine where Dream reveals his name, like in Giving Sanctuary, I have Hob be slow on the uptake when it comes to the extent of Dream's powers, even things like being able to enter and control dreams, and the reason I do this is carefully considered and based in the fact that Hob would have no way of knowing who Dream is or by extension what he can do.

So I kind of want to take a step back and address in detail just how actually impossible it would be, objectively, for Hob to figure out who Dream is in a world that doesn't have The Sandman comic for him to read to figure it out.

This is, of course, because, from a Doylist angle, Neil's "Dream of the Endless" is not based in any single mythology. Indeed, Dream as we know him is cobbled together from at least three or more different mythological figures, none of which combine to actually form the "Dream of the Endless" we see in the show or read in the comics. The Endless are completely made up for the comic and the Sandman, Morpheus, and Oneiros are all from wildly different mythologies and none of them actually overlap to form the complete picture of who Dream is as an entity in the Sandman show or comic.

So even if someone straight-up told Hob that the person he meets is the Sandman, Morpheus, or Oneiros (btw, there is no singular figure of "Oneiros" in Greek mythology) he would still not be able to put together the full picture of who Dream is. Even if he's given the name "Dream of the Endless" to work with, those words combined don't mean anything on their own if you don't have what an Endless is filled in, because it was made up entirely for the comic. (Of course, a fanfic author absolutely could make up such a book for their fic but it would be a creation for that fic, serving a purpose within that story like to tip Hob off, though I think it's entirely reasonable to make up a book in the Sandman world that goes into detail on who the Endless are. The Magdalene Grimoire, btw, is not that book. It only talks about Death. Death is a figure in many mythologies including the Christian one, but Dream is not. Even Burgess needs the Corinthian to tell him who Dream is in the show, and he's an occultist.)

Couple all of this with Hob's personal experience with Dream, encountering him as part of a wager with Dream's sister Death to see if Hob could bear a life of immortality, you get far more clues that would send him hurtling off into a totally incorrect direction before you'd get anything close to the truth, if we assume only the books available in our world are available to him.

So the reason this is a bit of an irritation for me that there's this idea that Hob has "all the clues" to figure out who Dream is because it smacks of a logical fallacy.

Basically, it's easy to see that the answer to a complicated math problem is "obvious" if someone just hands the answer to you. But challenging people to actually solve it themselves could be quite a bit more complicated. And in this complex formula solving for "Who the fuck is Hob's mysterious stranger?" there's actually so many blank X's of unanswered questions that I genuinely think there's no way for Hob to solve this equation without someone giving him the answer.

Let's go through this systematically, using just what Hob knows as observed on screen in the show.

1389 - a pale man in all black with a ruby at his throat approaches Hob's table and challenges Hob to meet him there in 100 years. He then smiles enigmatically and leaves.

That's it. That's all Hob has to go off of. He never sees Death, he has no idea about the wager. As far as he knows, Dream gave him immortality. It would be the most logical conclusion given that the day before Hob didn't have immortality and the day after, presumably, he does.

1489 - The only confirmation he has is actually seeing Dream there in 1489 and the first thing he asks is, "How did you know that I'd be here?"

Dream does not answer him. Hob takes a few stabs at guessing his identity which reveals his Christian European context: are you a wizard, or a saint -- to be clear, these are two types of human magic users that make sense to Hob for his context. The only other figure he can think of is The Devil. He doesn't ask if Dream is a pagan god or a faerie, he assumes a man with arcane or divine magic, or the Devil.

Dream says that he's not the Devil, much good that would do if he was a Devil who could just presumably lie to Hob, and says he's interested in Hob's experience and implies that he will grant him another 100 years of life. He is sarcastic and unimpressed about Hob's wonder at the world. He doesn't even actually show much interest in Hob being in the printing business. He only shows a spark of interest in Hob's continued desire to live, and then immediately takes off.

1589 - The only new information Hob gets this year is 1) Dream is supremely uninterested in food or the wealth Hob has earned, or his family, and 2) puny little Will Shaxberd, a crap playwright with no shot at becoming anything more, suddenly becomes a famous playwright. He would eventually become a renowned playwright in his day but keep in mind, Shakespeare didn't actually become mega famous centuries after his death. In his day, many people thought other playwrights like Marlowe were better.

My point is, from this Hob doesn't necessarily get even the pieces to determine that Dream likes art. It might seem obvious to us because Dream is Prince of Stories, but that's not the offer Dream gives Shaxberd. He just asks if it is Will's will to create dreams to spur the minds of men. Yes, we know that Dream wants Will to make dreams for him, but in Hob's context, Dream is just asking what Will would sell his soul for, just like he overheard Hob saying he had no intention of dying. From this perspective the only strong conclusion Hob can draw is that Dream grants wishes.

From this, Hob could conclude that Dream is a djinn/genie, or perhaps a faerie, but there is absolutely nothing to indicate he's associated with dreams or literature directly besides a mention of creating dreams nested in the context of asking Shaxberd what he wants, giving him a supernatural gift much like the one Hob believes Dream gave him.

At this point, the domains of Dream's power are very muddled for Hob because he doesn't know Death gave him immortality. So as far as he knows, Dream can give immortality AND make an amateur playwright into the greatest writer who ever lived. Putting these two things together does not bring you naturally to the domain of dreams by any stretch.

(I will note here, that in Giving Sanctuary, I had Hob learn that "Death" is Dream's sister before he learns Dream's name. There, his initial conclusion is that Dream must therefore be Famine, one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and the one known for wearing black (and not eating seems like a clue with Dream too) my point being that having another, small piece of the whole puzzle still would probably send him flying off in the wrong direction given his cultural context.)

1789: The next time Hob gets any hint that Dream has powers is with Lady Johanna. He uses his sand to show her her, "old ghosts". Note, she does not fall asleep but rather begins to hallucinate.

The Sandman myth has its origins of Scandinavia and it is first written down in in "Der Sandmann" a context that Hob might have access to, if he's very well read, in the early 1800s. By the way, the description of the Sandman in that book bears a striking resemblance to the Corinthian, because he eats the eyes of naughty children, and very little to Dream beyond the use of sand in his magic.

There is absolutely nothing to link the Sandman to Morpheus the Roman God of Dreams, who was made up entirely by Ovid in the Metamorphoses and never mentioned anywhere before that. That's because Neil Gaiman was the first to link those two mythological figures.

And on that note, there is no Oneiros attested to in Hesiod. The mention of Oneiros is actually to the "Oneiroi" an entire tribe of dreams and nightmares who are the children of Night (Nix). There's Hypnos (Sleep) who is the brother of Thanatos (Death) but that is about as close as we get to the Endless in any other mythological source besides the comics. And again, Dream does not put Johanna to sleep, he makes her hallucinate.

1889- Again, there is precious little to go off of. Dream is tight-lipped as ever. The only thing he gives away is that Lady Johanna later helped him with a task, a fact Hob is visibly annoyed and I daresay jealous about, and when he lashes out he refers to himself as, "One such as I."

But "One such as I," only reveals something Hob already knew: that Dream thinks highly of himself. That doesn't actually reveal that Dream is even magical, he could just be nobility or a powerful immortal magic user and refer to himself that way. Hob already knows that Dream is magical, and immortal, and probably some sort of high born or aristocrat. He's probably known that since 1389 given how Dream was dressed and given that giant fuck-off ruby (which actually might make Hob, in that day, wonder if Dream was a relation to the Black Prince)

That's it. That is the grand total of everything Hob has seen of Dream.

Hob in the comic will eventually admit, in The Wake, that he figured out who Dream was on his own. But this is after Seasons of Mist when Dream toasts him in Hob's dream and Hob wakes up with the impossible bottle of wine on his bedside. He has another encounter too with Dream where Dream eventually accedes to Hob's request to make the men who killed Audrey, his dead girlfriend, know who she was. Presumably, Dream makes them dream of her.

So Hob in the comics by the time we get to The Wake has more to go off of to make the link to the Lord of Dreams. Hob as we see him in the show, has had much less to go off of.

Even if you give Hob one piece of the puzzle, like one of the names like Morpheus, or The Sandman, or Oneiros, that still doesn't help give him the whole picture. The word "Endless" would be meaningless. He would have to have read at least three pretty obscure books that span a period of 2,000 years (between Hesiod and Der Sandmann) to get the three books that Neil primarily drew from to combine these figures into the Dream of the comic.

Look, my point is, unless someone gives the answer to Hob, and explains the full extent of what the Endless are, he's got little to go off of. Arguably, not enough at all to solve for "X" as to who Dream is, even if he's given more pieces. This would be a tough problem to solve.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Five Fics Friday: August 23/24

Happy Friday everyone!! Finally going on my 2 week holidays, so I'm glad I have some great fics I can read if I get bored!! Check out what's on my radar this week! Enjoy!!

RECENT MFLs

Serenity After the Turmoil (Part 2) by jawnscoffee (G, 2,467 w., 1 Ch. || Dreams, Nightmares, Sherlock's Violin) – John had always been someone with a vivid imagination - especially when it came to dreams. Nightmares, to be precise. This causes him a lot of trouble, especially after returning from the war. The only thing that calms him down is when Sherlock plays his violin. When John wakes up one night from another nightmare, he hears Sherlock playing the violin and decides to keep him company. Maybe he can't sleep either. Or maybe he's just playing the violin for John...

You Don't Live Here Anymore by elwinglyre (E, 3,104+ w., 1/5 Ch. || WiP || S4 Fix It, Angst, Bees, First Time, Third Person Alternating POV) – The lyrics of a song John introduced to Sherlock, haunts him. Sherlock leaves 221b because he can’t bring himself to live there alone without John. Mary is dead, and John still blames Sherlock. It takes a small tragedy to shake John into action. Will he come on home?

A Thrill Failed To Deliver by J_Baillier (E, 9,897+ w., 3/25 Ch. || WiP || Pre-TRF Divergence, Angst, Medical Hurt/Comfort, Serious Illnesses, POV John, Brain Cancer/Tumour, Medical Conditions, Romance, Slow Burn, Doctor John, Miscommunication, Meddling Mycroft, Everyone is a Mess, Harry Watson, Friends to Lovers, Strooppy Sherlock, John's Identity Crisis, Clueless Idiots in Love, Vulnerable Sherlock, Mental Breakdown, Sherlock Whump, Medical Realism) – When The Work is replaced with chemotherapy and restaurant dinners with radiation treatment, will a new, devastating normal bring John and Sherlock closer, or drive them apart — as Sherlock seems convinced it will?

Holy Wine by Silvergirl (E, 36,699 w., 13 Ch. || Sherlock/OMC & Johnlock || TEH Divergence, Addiction, Alcoholism, POV Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Sex Replacing Getting High, Angst with Happy Ending) – After Sherlock fails to amaze and delight John at the Landmark, he learns that John’s cut contacts and left London. Sherlock has to start his life over, without the man he gave up everything to save. Sherlock's version of the events of A Case of You. Part 2 of A Case of You

GOOD OMENS

how do we turn on the light? by moonyinpisces (M, 229,988+ w., 18/22 Ch. || WiP || Post-S2, Romance, Slow Burn, Angst with Happy Ending, Light Humour, Supreme Archangel Aziraphale, The Second Coming, Christianity, Drug Use, Book of Life, Death Threats, Suicidal Thoughts, Sex in the Bentley, Duke of Hell Crowley, Character Death) – Aziraphale ascends to the highest level of the Archangels. And he remembers—well. It’s not important what he remembers.

[bread-tab]

okay random 4am rant time, don't take it too seriously, but: people need to recognize there's a difference between "bad worldbuilding" and "worldbuilding styles you personally don't like."

bad worldbuilding is, for example: internally inconsistent, bigoted, or something else that messes up the plot or characterization of the story itself. sloppy. careless.

things that are *not* bad worldbuilding:

minimalism.

i've been thinking about this in the first place because i saw a post about the Murderbot Diaries a while back (don't know who made it, don't care; this ain't personal) saying the worldbuilding in those books is bad and lazy. to me, as an avid sci-fi reader and writer, that is clearly not true. but i understood why they thought this. the series uses extremely minimalist worldbuilding which intentionally withholds a lot of detail, in a way that is consistent with the (nonhuman, robot, depressed robot) first-person POV. this could also be a feature of the author's writing style in general—i haven't read her other works—but i wouldn't bet too much on it.

the signature of intentional minimalism is that there *are* details about the speculative setting—they're just doled out very thoughtfully and sparingly. the intent is to leave you a little hungry for more. it's to make you think very carefully about the details you do have. this is best suited to stories that already have elements of psychological and/or mystery plot types. the worldbuilding you do see should still be believable, internally consistent, and have interesting implications if you think about it a bit. but you are for sure going to have to think harder to get it.

if you're not in the mood, i will concede, a minimalist style definitely comes off as a bit dry. if you are in the mood, it's relaxing.

whimsy.

this is a big one for sci-fi fans in particular. see: the constant debate about whether any particular story is "hard" or "soft" sci-fi, and whether soft sci-fi is bad, etc etc. but worldbuilding doesn't have to be realistic to be good. you're allowed to have Jedi and humanoid aliens and time travel in your sci-fi. you're allowed to have historical anachronisms and astrology and po-ta-toes in your fantasy. whether or not they're silly isn't the deciding factor on how "good" these worldbuilding elements really are.

the key thing is tonal consistency. you've got a serious high-fantasy setting with its own strict, un-Earth-like theology and magic system, and you throw Santa Claus in there? yeah, that's not gonna land well. but C.S. Lewis can get away with that in Narnia just fine. why? because the Chronicles of Narnia are whimsical children's stories with a strong Christian/Western mythological influence already, and their central conceit is a crossover between the mundane world and the magical world. of course Santa can cross over too. it's whimsical, but it's not actually random. (and if you ventured into straight-up comedy, you could get away with random too. as long as it's funny.)

the unreliable narrator.

i don't have a good example for this off the top of my head (maybe Murderbot again? idk, i'm sleepy, fill in your own) but i'll tell you how to recognize when this is done well.

by definition, an unreliable narrator has some key misconceptions about their own world. so how do you tell what's going on as a reader? how do you know the writer isn't equally confused?

you connect the dots. solve the puzzle. in practice this is similar to reading a minimalist setting—but instead of just sparse clues, you also have a boatload of red herrings. you can catch some of these misleading details by comparing them to your real-world knowledge and saying "wait, this doesn't add up." other times, the false clues intentionally trick you by subverting those real world expectations.

the trick is in the consequences. regardless of what the narrator says, their actions should still have logical consequences. there should be things going on that the POV character doesn't know about. the character will be forced to learn and adapt their narrative because of these shifting circumstances. you can catch them in a lie. the inconsistencies themselves tell a story.

...

i'm gonna stop myself there because this post is long and i oughtta be sleeping. just. this is a distinction worth making. is it really bad worldbuilding, or is it simply not the genre you're craving today? learn the difference for your own sake. you'll have an easier time realizing if a story is something you'll find enjoyable to read, regardless of its actual quality.

[pandorasinfinity]

Hello! Saw in the tags the words chaos magick? I'm getting into Witchcraft again... after years of taking a break. Wanted to ask what books you would recommend as a baby witch? Do you tie Witchcraft with manifestation and shifting? There's so much I want to ask, oh my God.

Yes I do tie my practice into shifting! It's been altered a lot since I learned about shifting, but as I was raised by a Wiccan mother I still feel very connected to witchcraft. Except now I view a lot of it through a shifting lense. I don't feel the need to do spells as much as just manifest/shift to the desired result, you know? But a good sigil or ritual is still a fun little manifesting thing. I guess it's just all a lot less serious now in a way.

I don't really identify as a witch much anymore, which is why I usually stick with the chaos magick label, since the inclusion of a multiverse kinda threw off a lot of my beliefs. But I do still have an altar for a few Hellenic deities and I do still love that part of my life greatly. Witchcraft is my foundation from my mom so I don't think I could leave it

My main thing is tarot and channeling. I was channeling LONG before I found out about shifting and it has only gotten more focused now. Channeling myself from a few thousand years from now is my secret weapon lol. Besides that I have sigils on everything I own

I'm not sure what you would be interested in, but I will recommend some of my favorite books. Just keep in mind it's coming from a chaos magick perspective and not really Wiccan but I can also ask my mom if you are looking for something more on that side of things. Also that old white men will be sexist even when talking about magick so sometimes you just need to scratch out a line in a book and power through sadly

Manifesting/Shifting:

Parallel Universes of Self by Frederick Dodson (the best I have read so far) Reality Transurfing Steps I-V by Vadim Zeland (this one is from the POV of someone that wouldn't be likely to be into shifting and because of that he is good for skeptics because he WANTS you to be skeptic)

Chaos Magick Intro:

Condensed Chaos by Phil Hine (good intro of everything)

Tarot:

Anything by Rachel Pollack especially Tarot Wisdom. If you get anything here this is the best. Rachel Pollack (RIP) was a queen of tarot

Anything Else:

The Psychonaut Field Manual by BlueFluke - available online and is an illustrated intro to a lot of different tings like servitors and astral projection. The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford - shadow work intro but kinda from a more Christian lens so avoid if that will be too much Magical Servitors by Damon Brand - creating servitors (basically personal entities that can manifest for you)

Feel free to ask any questions! Kinda just gave an intro to myself so its easier to figure out where I am coming from and what questions I might be able to answer! I am always willing to be a resource if I am able to!

[czolgosz]

my (hopefully comprehensive) leon czolgosz rpf compendium

full books:

the bradys and the anarchist queen; or, running down the "reds" (1902): short dime novel; has a bunch of slightly changed names so they can't get sued for libel i guess; the portrayal of anarchists as evil is so exaggerated that it's mostly just funny; more seriously, warning for earnest anti-black racism

with claw and fang: a fact story with a chicago setting (1911): a dubious response to the anarcho-egoist/proto-fascist book might is right (1896); leon czolgosz's name is nikola golzosch and he has different things going on from real life; bizarre & very christian; also warning for earnest anti-black racism

assassins (1991): the musical. we all know this one.

the anarchist (2001): the daniel a. coleman one, which is in fact the original The Anarchist; from the perspective of a psychiatrist who sort of befriends leon czolgosz in prison and is pushed left by his experiences with anarchists & his suffragist girlfriend; boring!; i have made most of a pdf of it 🫡 wait a bit

death of riley (2002): an aspiring detective investigates the murder of her employer (another detective) and meets bohemians and anarchists who are involved in the murder and the investigation alike in varying ways; leon czolgosz is canonically gay if you care; on z-library

the temple of music (2004): a wild ride, but still mostly coherent; has a bunch of different pov characters, only one of which is fictional; the writing is really not bad, and it was pretty emotionally evocative for me; probably has the most leon czolgosz scenes; speaking of which, he is in the midst of a mental breakdown for most of the book; on anna's archive

the anarchist (2009): the john smolens one; about some people trying to capture leon czolgosz and failing, and then getting involved in another anarchist domestic terrorism plot afterwards; probably has the second most leon czolgosz scenes; on z-library

a moment in the sun (2011): i haven't read this yet, as you all know; about the turn of the century in general; on z-library

the fifth assassin (2013): leon czolgosz never actually shows up, but there is some fiction narrative surrounding him; all the assassinations are connected, someone is repeating them all, and there's about to be a new fifth one; the protagonist aims to catch this assassin; on z-library

assassin of shadows (2019): some detectives uncover the conspiracy surrounding the mckinley assassination; on z-library

a gilded lady (2020): i never actually read it apart from the one very short leon czolgosz scene and don't really know what it's about; on z-library

very short things:

"interview with an assassin" (1901): a description of an interview in which leon czolgosz is a devout christian and explains his actions accordingly; written in opposition to christian proselytisation which had increased due to the assassination

"the last guest" (1901): about a woman contemplating leon czolgosz's execution; his corpse shows up but that's really it

"czolgosz heard from" (1901): excerpts from a letter leon czolgosz sent from hell

"oklahoma fish story" (1903): john wilkes booth, charles guiteau, and leon czolgosz are hanging out together in oklahoma

"the scar his ring made" (2010): short story by a high schooler about paweł czołgosz being abusive; starts on page 85

"very short dorian gray x leon czolgosz fic" (2022): need i say more

"reason" (2024): genderbent, one-sided leon (leona) czolgosz x emma (emmett) goldman

tv show episodes (which i haven't seen):

reaper s1 ep6 "leon" (2007): leon czolgosz escapes hell and some people are trying to make him go back; apparently the least accurate portrayal ever (it does not sound like they were trying anyway)

murdoch mysteries s7 ep15 "the spy who came up to the cold" (2014): the opening scene is the mckinley assassination; about a possible conspiracy around the assassination

[sidebaxolotl]

Do you know of any good resources for dealing with gender dysphoria from a side B or Y Christian angle (i.e., not affirming sin or encouraging transition?) It's not huge in my life but sometimes it comes up and I wish I had more advice for dealing with it. A lot of the stuff I find is unhelpful because it's just plainly restating the rules with how Christianity doesn't condone gender ideology with no practical advice, is in that "how to talk to your friend who has this issue" pov, or just kinda goes "lol pray about it idk". I 100% know and stand by that biological sex is biological sex and don't think it's possible to change to the opposite sex, nor do I really want to... so it's not a matter of needing to persuade me, but it doesn't change that I still have feelings of stress and of not really living up to or fitting in with womanhood. When I'm around other women it can be really difficult because I feel so profoundly different when we should be similar. TIA

Sorry this took so long, I took the time to talk to a couple of people who had dysphoria in the past and some who didn't to get some insight.

Both the people I had talked to who had it had cited porn as a major reason why they developed it in the first place so if thats not ur experience then maybe this wont be as helpful for you 😅

They did bring up a good point that assessing where you think your dysphoria comes from from a psychiatric standpoint could help you figure out how to deal with it and i was given this link:

https://oncurrentevents.substack.com/on-gender-transition-and-psychiatric-disorders

Like for example it was pointed out to me that gd presents a lot like body dysmorphia (specifically, like eating disorders and stuff) so u might be able to use whatever coping mechanisms are used for that to help. It also seems to be a prevalent phenomenon in autistic and adhd individuals so perhaps addressing those things if you have them would help.

I was also linked to this book, the friend in question had remarked that it had helped a lot of the women he knew:

https://a.co/d/6DNWdA2

The guy I talked to said therapy had helped him as well as support from God/ his family but finding non affirming therapists that have a nuanced view on things is extremely difficult, esp if you want a Christian one. Him and I were extremely lucky in that way.

The one woman i spoke to said she quit porn and sobered off gd feelings once she realized transitioning wouldnt truly make her a boy.

I did want to be a boy when i was really young but im not super sure that counts? Idk.

For me what helped was realizing a lot of what made me not want to be a girl at that time was just a reaction to stereotypical gender roles and sexism towards women. Once i started challenging those perceptions and the ways my brain was affirming them i became way more comfortable in my body.

I also had a similar realization as sibling that I'd never truly be able to be a boy if i tried to alter my body. I could wear blue and be the night in shining armor and be a hero and still be a woman, yknow?

Also a lot of it was me being very gay and not realizing it lmaooo

I can def relate to not really fitting in with women--particularly in Christian settings I'm typically the only one who isnt hyperfemme and it can be a bit alienating.

Realizing i wasn't straight kinda helped too since the lesbian perception of womanhood is a lot more fluid than its straight counterpart. Not saying to "go gay" if you aren't but maybe looking into butch and gnc communities and framing your self-perception in that way might help?

If there are any other side b dysphoric folks reading this feel free to chime in with your own tips/resources in dealing with this stuff please!!

[finalgirlminamurray]

i finished reading let the right one in a few days ago so here are my thoughts:

i'd already seen the movie a few years back and it's actually a pretty faithful adaptation, aside from leaving out some parts where the book has the time and space to go into greater detail. i really want to rewatch it now to see how it compares. i used to be a lot more insistent on always reading the book first but for a lot of iconic horror films i ended up reading the book after watching the film adaptation and it's still interesting to see what got changed and what the book expands on. there will be spoilers in this post; also mentions of sexual assault, pedophilia, and transphobia.

the biggest differences here are:

håkan, eli's adult companion who gets blood for her, has a lot more pov sections and the book is pretty explicit that he is a pedophile. the film leaves a lot to interpretation about their relationship, and you could easily imagine that he met eli as a kid and grew up alongside her over the years - this is often interpreted as foreshadowing for oskar's eventual fate given the ending. here he is much less sympathetic because of this element - eli found him after he'd lost his job at a school and convinced him to accompany her, but refuses to let him touch her or act on his attraction. it's an interestingly twisted relationship given their actual ages but it also feels more like eli escaping an abusive guardian when he finally dies (he does try to kill and/or sexually assault her after she turns him but leaves him for dead.)

there is a full flashback to eli's backstory that she relays psychically to oskar via a kiss, after she deliberately shows him her naked body - the film relegates this to a brief flash of what looks like a surgical scar on her genital area, and keeping her question to oskar of "would you still love me if i wasn't a girl?"

notably, the narration switches from she/her to he/him pronouns for eli after this revelation, and given that she/her is only used after that when in the pov of characters who do not know this, presumably eli still thinks of himself as a boy. however, he seems comfortable presenting as and being assumed to be a girl by others. i almost feel like alternating between pronouns is right, but the book seems to settle on he/him for the character.

oskar barely has any serious identity or sexuality crises after learning this, by the way - he's very accepting that the person he is in his first romantic relationship with is a boy. in one scene before eli reveals this he asks his teacher if two boys can love each other and she says yes, of course, but he also asks if someone can be both a boy and a girl (or neither) and she says no except for some animals. ah well, it's set in 1981

i barely even remember how much lacke and his drinking buddies were in the film, but they're in the book a lot. i couldn't really distinguish most of them, though - the only ones who really matter are jocke (who is killed by eli early on and whose body is found under the ice), lacke, and virginia (who are romantically involved and the latter of whom becomes a vampire.) this is what really made me realize i need to rewatch this movie because i remembered virginia letting the sun come into her hospital room so she'd burn to death but not the part where gösta's cats attack her, which everyone says does not look good in the film.

there's a whole subplot with oskar's friend tommy (not to be confused with tomas, one of the bullies who regularly harass him) and his mom's boyfriend, a police officer who is also a devout christian and who tommy does not like. it added some interesting layers but was understandably mostly cut (unless i'm not remembering things again). tommy also ends up killing håkan and i don't think that's in the film. also i'm glad the book didn't have too much of a subplot about the police investigating because i find those can get fairly tiring

interestingly, eli pointedly does not want to be called a vampire, but does not say what he actually is; other characters who are turned describe themselves as vampires, and oskar thinks of eli as one regardless. it's possible that here "vampire" only refers to people who have been turned in a particular way, or some kind of thralls to those who turned them - unless it's the other way around.

other vampire (or whatever eli is) biology: eli is able to "think [his nails] sharp" and other characters who see him hunting think they see some kind of membrane attached to his arms

overall? really liked this book, it's a wonderful story. also surprisingly more explicitly queer than i expected. eli can be read as a trans girl or a trans boy, or any other number of interpretations regarding their gender, although i definitely wouldn't call the portrayal progressive (we must remember how often in horror/thriller media unconventional gender identities are portrayed as something forced upon cis kids in a way that is supposed to be part of the horror). afaik john ajvide lindqvist is a cishet man but oskar is refreshingly free from hangups about his own sexuality despite being a cis boy in 1980s sweden who does try to fulfill traditional ideas of masculinity earlier on and is in many ways surrounded by them. he has violent revenge fantasies about the kids who bully him but ultimately does not enact them; they are fulfilled for him by eli at the end, who is described as an "angel" by one witness to the scene because he did save oskar's life.

there's something that really speaks to a lot of people about the idea of falling in love with someone who is a monster or a killer but also like you in many ways, living outside of society, and eventually running away with them to embark on your own unconventional life together, even if it involves killing people, because you love and accept each other for everything you are. it was cool to see the typical coming-of-age narrative for a 13-year-old boy protagonist in the era this is set in turn into...this.

good book. good movie. will probably not be watching the american adaptation.

[fromgoy2joy]

Hi! I have been off and on about my converion for a few years. My biggest road block is when I am asked by Rabbi’s or others “what is your reason for converting?”. My answers always seem off putting to the asker (jewish theology resonates with me, jewish ancestry, a love for jewish philosophy and torah principles). I wanted to ask how did you answer and navigate this question at the beginning of your journey?

hello hello! This is such a fascinating question that will merit a *long* response, so sit down, make yourself comfortable, get some tea etc. Sorry for making you wait, but I thought this would be a good post for me to reflect on on a Shabbat I can’t observe. (Family thingz and drama eek)

I entered the Jewish community in a somewhat unconventional way. As a college student, I decided to convert after years of thinking about it and a lifetime of longing for it.

I could go into a whole tangent about that, but short story. I’ve always felt pulled to Judaism and I always tried to fix myself into being a good Catholic girl. One of my earliest memories at 6 was being told to name my stuffed monkey after a saint and I chose Moses for her. Because I wanted her (and me) to be Jewish.

So after years of self torment, I entered college, pretty sure that I was going to convert but completely unknowing of how to start. But school started in September- it was all high holidays and that’s like bursting in on Christmas (not accurate portrayal but from a cultural Christian POV.) I kept on making excuses.

It was a little revelation I had to myself on a seemingly innocuous Friday night. That if if all religion is “disproven” tomorrow, I would still want to practice these traditions, and pass it down to my children. I would still want to be apart of this community and follow the philosophies.

That night was October 6th.

Then I woke up on October 7th and my world had completely shaken. I can’t even put the words into how I felt- it was as if I had blown out the candles of a birthday cake joyfully, unknowing of the darkness I was letting in.

I wept at the constantly playing news. I went to memorial services at local synagogues and struggled through (and got better at ) the Hebrew. I stopped all ham consumption and started to attempt at keeping kosher. And I started going to the Jewish life room provided by our university more and more often.

No one would be in there in the odd times I’d come in, but I started to read “Judaism for Dummies” on their somewhat uncomfortable couch. I was delighted to see that it was too simplistic for me, that there was so much I already knew. Then I moved on to the more complex books about Jewish literacy, philosophy and stories to get more well rounded. But that’s a hard place to start where I know about intense philosophical questions but not the Shema.

I really got involved in the community. I went constantly to shabbats, introduced myself to people around and met with leaders. I went to rabbis’ houses and played with their children. I got involved in advocacy. I walked to a minyan on a Friday night a mile off in the rain. I learnt prayers and butchered the pronunciation.

By the time I actually sat down with my converting rabbi, I’d been immersed in Jewish life for around 3 months.

So I covered bases with him- how I felt about Judaism, how I had learnt and practiced my faith in the limited time I had, but most of all how I had gone through hell and back with the Jewish people and how I never wanted to leave them.

(And then I got assigned 600 pages of reading. So success but at what cost? Just kidding just kidding!

My recommendation to you is- as much as you can- immerse yourself in Jewish community. Make it to prayer services. Help out. And if they ask the “who, what, why, where, when” on your conversion, you don’t have to over-explain. Just smile and say “oh it’s a long story, but this feels like home. “

Because that’s what Judaism is to me - and what it sounds like for you too. Home.

You’ll refine your answers to the other hard questions later. It sound like you already have those answers and your “why” .But making yourself at home here is what I’d (from my experience) recommend you focus on.

[givetomurasomechapstick]

A sweet kind angelic yet rebellious 16 year old girl, who loves to read and watch My Hero Academia, goes to bed after wanting something more, something more risky in her life. What's better than waking up somewhere where you would never expect...?

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Katsuki Bakugo x RealWorld!Fem!Reader

Using she/her! Maybe they/them on occasion.

Hinted that y/n may be religious, since I don't know about more religions, she's probably more geared towards a Christian.

Y/n is kind and gentle, but also can be very sneaky and rebellious.

y/n probably will be an artist.

Bakugo may be more rude and reckless than canonically.

Y/n wants to fly

Y/n is rich but doesn't care. 💅🏽 Shes also a girl boss

Key: (Y/N) = Your Name | (M/N) = Middle Name. If you don't have one, you can use a nickname or a fake name! | (L/N) = Last Name | (N/N) = Nickname | (S/C) = Skin Color | (H/L) = Hair Length | (H/C) = Hair Color | (H/T) = Hair Type. Can easily be looked up, you can choose the type that seems most similar to your hair, or just say straight, curly, etc. | (F/F) = Favorite Food |

...

...

"Would you believe me if I said I fell from the sky?"

(Y/N)'s POV:

Do you know how boring life is? Take it from me, A LOT. That's why I love to read My Hero Academia, it helps me kind of divide the real world from my fantasy dreams that will never come true.

Hi! I'm (Y/N) (M/N) (L/N), but everyone just calls me (Y/N) or (N/N)! I have (S/C) skin and (H/L) (H/C) (H/T) hair. I just turned 16 a few days ago, making me the same age as my favorite class 1-A class member, Katsuki Bakugo. But anyways, back to the story!

I sighed as I literally jumped off of my bed, still holding my book. I walk outside of my messy room, scattered with homework, clothes, and anything you could imagine across the floor.

Kicking to the side anything in my way i wouldn't step on, i open the door to my room, stepping out into the long halls of the family mansion. My messy hair all out like a got electrocuted. Heh, electrocuted. I wish Denki was real too. Hence, I wasted my 16th birthday wish on My Hero Academia and the League of Villains being real. Imagine that. Fighting alongside heroes against the villains. Heck, I'm so desperate, I might consider joining the villains one of these days!

Suddenly, scattering wakes me out of my zombie-bnha trance as I see Diana. My favorite dalmatian dog. I've had her ever since I was three.~

"Hey Diana!" I say in a babying voice as the spotted dog approaches me with a big happy smile on. I gently brought her head up to face mines. "Do you ever think about being in a cooler world with super powers? Oh how I wish I could fly!" Diana just tilted her head at me, she probably doesn't understand. "It's okay. You don't need to understand my stupid fantasies." I said it in a playful, yet soft and understanding way as I got up from my position and let go of her. She stayed there with a concerned look on her face.

"No, really! It's fine with me." And with that I walked downstairs. No one was home. We didn't have a maid or a butler, we liked doing things ourselves and would never force anyone to do something for us. So the house was completely empty. Perfect.~

I went to prepare myself dinner. So I opened the fridge, and that's where I seen my mom had already made dinner for me. Yes! I heard scattering again. The same scattering as before. Diana had followed me downstairs! She must feel sad that she couldn't understand where i was coming from- OR she just came because she heard the refrigerator.

I heat up the premade dinner in the microwave as I place my book at the table in the kitchen, and begin reading it. No. It's My Hero Academia, what else would it be? Pokémon Adventures? I haven't read that since I was 13!

Skimming through a few pages, I sighed. The page landed on one with Katsuki on it. I sigh. "Why can't you all just be real? Why can't anything cool or exciting happen in life? Why cant-" I got cut off by the beeping of the microwave, which made me groan.

...

...

After finishing (F/F), I went back into my room and jumped onto my bed. I sigh again as I throw my book onto the ground. "God, why can't I live with all the My Hero characters, or they come here to this world?" After saying my prayers, I went to bed. I fell asleep. I felt like I was falling. Sometimes, that happens when I'm sleeping. But it felt like I was falling.

Too realistically for comfort. My eyelids were too heavy to open, so I thought it was a dream. I mean, our eyelids are only heavy in a situation like this in dreams right? And-

THUD

Ouch! My back hurts! I suddenly felt weak. TOO weak. My back felt terrible! I really had to stop hunching my back when my parents warned me, but that's how I draw good and- ouch! Yeah, I doubt it's that. And, is that grass?! Grass on my palm of my hand! Don't get me wrong, I feel grass all the time but sleeping on it?! Cool.

Suddenly, I hissed out of pain. I guess I tried to turn around. I must've fell off my bed or something, and it got turned into a dream. And it must've woke me up and made me half asleep too.

Then I heard voices. Two familiar voices. If you feel this is going too fast that's because everything happened that way. Like, WAY TOO FAMILIAR.

But then it felt like I was spinning again. Turning around and around and around endlessly and then, I guess I knocked out from the pain, or just being tired in general...

I often fall to sleep in my dreams...

...

...

...

Thanks for reading chapter one of Fallen Angel! Sorry if it was too short, I just think I should cut it off there. Especially because it's not a oneshot and rather a full blown series.

[im-out-of-it]

part 7 of season 2, episode 13 “those of demon blood” continued

102. I can see if Alec was protecting Magnus and asking for a hair sample (inspired by recent comments.) but I think with his track record recently, the scene should have been handled differently. I’m not here to come at alec- he’s my comfort character and I love him but Magnus has been through so much trauma (it’s probably been days) that he should be able to trust Alec and Alec should trust Magnus. and I believe 100% Alec does trust Magnus and wants to keep him safe but I’m also looking at it from Magnus’s pov.

I blame the writers for this because they’re constantly making Alec go through it. and Magnus and Alec aren’t that great at balancing their relationship while one is a head of an institute soon and the other is high warlock. I just feel we needed more from Malec instead of just one sentence. we needed more communication, and actually listening to the other person. I don’t fault Alec severely for this- I know this is his first relationship and I love him but it’s the way he’s written at times that I have some issues with. I don’t think of Alec as the way CC made him but the way Matt handled his character- the same with Harry and Magnus. it’s just frustrating sometimes with how the writers handled Alec, magnus, and Malec at times

I’m sorry if I made anyone upset

103. history lesson time!!!!!!

104. I forgot this one. my mind must’ve blocked it

105. Clary acts like she doesn’t know what the holocaust was. girl you were a mundane for 17 years and went to school like how do you not know????? I’ll give her a point because Simon probably hasn’t brought up his family past. I just know a lot of it because I love history and I’m European so I tend to favor more European history. the amount of books I have of it is unreal lmao and I have them stacked all over my place randomly

106. Simon: I’m not about to be chipped, tracked, and murdered. no fucking thank you. my family has been around this block before

106. this is one of my favorite Simon moments because I love history, I love seeing Simon get emotional about his family, and Simon saying no that he won’t be tracked or treated as he is inferior

107. and I won’t bore y’all with history because I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea ☕️

108. and it’ll start as a piece of DNA now, but then it’s going to be tracking them, chipping them, hunting them down, and killing them without cause- breaking the accords. there’s a very nazi mentality in the dark artifices. it’s been fucking forever since I read it because Julian and Emma are insufferable and I felt the way CC went about it was terrible. (anyone remember when she had a villain say how gross clary and jace were for dating while thinking they were siblings just to make the comments seem vile and evil)

but it’s a similar to the show and I think the show and the books were written around the same time so who knows who inspired her (but I also wouldn’t put it past CC who made TMI based on her Harry Potter fanfics) but the way the show handled it is so much better

109. its nice to see Simon talking about his past and being Jewish. we see him praying once when Jocelyn dies, and I’m not super religious (I stay the hell away from it.) so I won’t go on and on about it. (okay fine I’ll spill- I don’t like a religion being forced on someone and I’ve had way too many Christian’s try to tell me I’m sick because it’s gods plan) (like get the fuck out of here lmao) but I still respect Simons storyline with being Jewish and his customs. show Simon is so more bearable than book Simon for sure

110. kaelie trying to do us all a favor and I thank her for it

111. Max is so slick, definitely takes after Maryse

112. I love this call back

113. Max: can’t you see that I’m the best? 🥹

I love how Izzy and Alec are always smiling and proud of max. he’s got the best brother and sister

114. Dot has returned and Magnus is drinking

doing another part, stopping at 115

[loomiseater]

Fifty Shades

Hey everyone! This is a look at the first chapter of my new Christian Grey book! I just started writing yesterday so I'm only on chapter 3. I'll upload the book whenever I fully finish writing it. I plan on doing 3 books just like the films. I'll upload it daily to my Wattpad and Tumblr whenever I finish writing. ALSO! This is a Christian Grey x Black!fem!reader, but you can still ofc read this book if you're not Black. I've never seen any Christian Grey BWWM fics so I decided to write my own. I really hope you all enjoy this! Lmk what y'all think!!

🩶Y/n's Pov🩶

It was around 7:00 AM when I woke up. I was supposed to be job hunting since I recently dropped out of college, and since then, my parents stopped giving me money. I dropped out because I want to do something I love in life, which is acting of course. But I need to be realistic, I need a stable income since my parents weren't providing for me anymore, and I need the money for acting classes.

My parents weren't rich or anything, but their income was stable and they were well off. I'm the fourth kid out of five siblings. My oldest brother, Ryan, is 30 years old; he's in the Navy, currently on duty. I miss him, I haven't seen him for six months. My big sister, Nyla, is 28 years old. We're not on speaking terms right now. We haven't spoken in two months, two months ago I found out her husband was abusing her.

I confronted her about it and tried to offer her help but she didn't want it. You can't help someone who doesn't want help, and ever since, she hasn't spoken to me, I've tried reaching out but she just ignores me. Theres only so much I can do.

My other brother, Miles, 26 years old, is a firefighter. He's not around that much, not because of any drama or anything, but because being a first responder takes up a lot of your time. Then next of course is me. 19 years old and now a college drop out. After me is my baby sister, Aniyah, who's fourteen years old. She just started her freshman year of high school.

I totally forgot I was supposed to be taking a break from job hunting today, my best friend Aaliyah is currently sick so I'm supposed to be interviewing some man for her. Aaliyah works for our local journalists company. And I'm currently sharing a two bedroom apartment with her until I can afford to live on my own.

I stared at the wall for a couple of minutes until I finally got up and started my day. I brushed my teeth, then got in the shower and washed my face while I was in there, it's more convenient. I got out and dried myself off, now putting on some coconut oil, then going in with some vanilla lotion.

I wanted to go with a professional look today so whoever I was interviewing would take me seriously. Aaliyah would not tell me who the man was, she says I'll gasp when I see him though. I highly doubt it.

I decided to go with some basic colors for my outfit since this is a business setting. I may be a broke bitch right now, but my outfits are still gonna eat. I placed in some earrings, sprayed some perfume, and walked into the living room.

Aaliyah was sitting on the couch with some Ginger Ale and Saltine crackers.

"You feeling any better?" I asked as she threw her head back. "No! My stomach is killing me!" She groaned. "Aww, I'm sorry, babes." I frowned at her current mood. She's been like this for the past 2 days.

"Hey, take my car today." She offered but I kindly rejected. "Take it! I'm not gonna tell you again!" She stated. She sounds just like my mom. "Okay! I'll take it." I said as I took her keys off the table. I was at the door about to open it until she spoke up again. "Do you remember where to go, Y/n?" She asked as I rolled my eyes. "It's the 21st century, Aaliyah, I have a gps." I smartly said as she threw a cracker at me.

She missed as I laughed at her and headed out the door.

I pulled up to a building called "Grey House" it had a sleek modern design and was really tall. It looks expensive. I checked in with the woman at the front desk. I had to look at the paper that Aaliyah handed me for the name of the man I was interviewing. "Um- I'm supposed to be interviewing Christian Grey." I said as I looked at the name again making sure that it was right.

She smiled and kindly told me the room number and floor. When I made it to floor twenty, I was greeted by two women who offered to take my purse and was bringing me to Mr. Grey's office. I followed the blonde women down the hallway as I admired the look inside. The floor was white marble, their were glass doors and windows everywhere, along with paintings.

"Right this way." The blonde announced as we stood in front of two double doors. The doors were wide and long with two cylinder handles. I haven't even met this man yet but I for some reason feel nervous all ready. I opened the door, not even noticing the extra step. In result I tripped into the room. "Ounch!"

I fell on my wrists. As I looked up, I saw a man turned around looking out into the window with a gray suit on. His office was massive. I was still on the floor as he turned around and started walking towards me. "Ms. Robins." He stated. I guess he thought I was Aaliyah.

His long legs strutted over to me, he looks so powerful, and rich. "Are you alright?" His questioned with a look of concern as he helped me up. I nodded my head before shook my hand. I finally got a good look at him and thats when I realized who he was. I held in my gasp but my eyes widened. He was that billionaire. He's one of the richest men on earth.

I guess he took notice to my widened eyes. He chuckled a bit before greeting me. "Christian Grey."

"Y/n Walker." I greeted back.

I couldn't read his face, it was like a mix of amusement and curiosity. "Um, Ms. Robins has the flu, so she asked me to fill in." I say as I realize he was probably wondering who I was since I'm not Aaliyah. "So I see." He started off. "So, you're studying journalism as well?" He finished as I shook my head no.

"No- I-um recently dropped out of college." My voice was hesitant, to be honest I was kinda embarrassed. I quickly changed the subject back to Aaliyah. "I'm Aaliyah's friend, she's sick right now so I'll be taking over the interview."

Mr. Grey looked passed me and nodded his head before walking back to his desk. "As I said, I only have ten minutes." That was kind of rude. I rolled my eyes, thinking he didn't notice but he did. He tilted his head, amused at the fact that I would even do that.

I hurried and sat down in one of the chairs in front of his desk. I began to look down at the journal, reading through some of the notes. I mentally picked one of the questions and turned on my recorder. I looked up and Mr. Grey had this cold look, he looked annoyed almost, like he didn't wanna be here. It was making me feel nervous and a bit self conscious.

It was silent for a bit until he stood up and walked over to me, handing me a pencil that had his name on it for some reason. He sighed before resting on the front of his desk. "Ready?" I asked with smile. "Whenever you are." He replied. I smiled again before looking down at the notebook.

"Um-okay. So this is for the special graduation issue on the student newspaper." I explained. "Yes, I'm giving the commencement address at this year's ceremony." He answered. I was actually surprised, this is a man who usually keeps to himself. "You are?" I asked just to make sure I heard right.

He looked liked he was offended by my question so I quickly back tracked. I was trying to look for words to say but I couldn't really think of any. "I mean, um..I know." I softly said. I then looked back down at my paper seeing what else I can ask him. The room was filled with awkward silence until I spoke up.

"You are very young to have amassed such an empire. To what do you owe-" before I could even finish reading the question, he cut me off. "-To what do I owe my success?" He said with an attitude. I looked back down at the paper before answering "Yep.." I awkwardly said.

"Seriously?" He scoffed.

"Yes.." I frowned. "Business is about people." He started off as he walked back to the other side of his desk. "And I've always been good at people. What motivates them, what incentivizes them, what inspires them." He finished. I gave him an apologetic look before speaking up. "No offense, sir, but maybe you're just lucky." I stated. "Excuse me?" I'm assuming no one has ever spoken to him like that.

For some reason he had a smile on his face. "I've always found that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have." He said. He stared at me for a bit before he started talking again. "The key to my success has been in identifying talented individuals and harnessing their efforts."

"So you're a control freak." I mumbled lowly just enough for me to hear but apparently he heard it too. "Oh, I exercise control in all things, Ms. Walker." He smirked. I softly laughed at statement before looking back down at my paper. His smirk turned me on, my whole body started feeling hot.

"Do you have any interests outside of work?" I read. "I enjoy various physical pursuits." He said with that same exact smirk again. I licked my lips before looking back down at the paper. I wasn't even paying that much attention to the words, more so just saying them out loud.

"You're unmarried-oh, you were adopted at age four!" I said with shock. I was starting to become more interested.

"Thats a matter of public records." He coldly said. I immediately put my head down not wanting to be in his view, but he ended up sitting down next to me in the other chair. He tilted my chin up with his finger as he looked into my eyes. His icy blue eyes were so beautiful, just like the ocean.

"Why don't you ask me something that you want to know?" He asked before taking his hand away from my chin. My breathing was shallow from his touch, his fingers were smooth, yet rough. I cleared my throat before answering. "Earlier, you said that there are some people who know you well..but I get the feeling that, that's not true?" I sincerely asked.

The room went silent, he was thinking about what to say, no one has ever asked him that deep of a question. Most interviewers just ask him stuff like "How does it feel to be one of the richest men alive", "When are you getting married?", or "How much do you spend in a day?"

Before he could answer my question, the blonde from earlier poked into the room. "Mr. Grey, your next meeting is in the conference room." She announced. "Cancel, please. Me and Y/n are not finished here." He says, not even looking at her, his attention was fully focused on me. My heart started beating faster, that was all the questions I have for him. "Yes sir." The blonde responded.

"Oh- sir, thats all the que-" "I would like to know more about you." He stated. His eyes were filed with curiosity, waiting for me to answer. "There's really not much to know about me." I shyly said. And I was right. I'm only nineteen, I haven't really even been through life yet.

"You said you were a college drop out?" Even though he's correct, I did say that and it did happen, it still felt like a stab to the chest anytime someone says it out loud. "Yes." I pressed my lips together to stop myself from frowning. "Why?" He asked. I lifted my head back up at him to see his head tilted, waiting for me to answer. "What do you mean?"

"Why did you drop out? Money problems? You're parents?" He questioned. "I want to be an actress. It's my dream." I smiled. "What made you fall in love with film?" He asked as he leaned closer into me. I was starting to get nervous from how close he is but I nonetheless answered his question.

"When I was a little girl, my dad would take me to almost every new movie that came out." I started off, thinking about all those soft memories. "Film is something we bonded over, then middle school I joined drama, but I haven't done anything theater wise since senior year of high school." I smiled.

He look intrigued by my answer. "How old are you, Y/n?" He asked as he squinted his eyes. "I'm nineteen, sir. You?" He seemed surprised by my answer. "Why that face?" I asked as he shook his head. "Nothing, you just look really young." He answered. "Thank you?" I didn't know if it was a compliment or not. "You didn't my first question, how old are you, Mr. Grey?" I asked again. "Twenty-seven" he stated. I squeezed my legs, older men are just so much hotter for some reason. I guess he saw my legs squeeze together, he stared at my thighs for a while before speaking up.

"If you're looking to make some extra money, I have a personal assistant job opening." He offered. I softly laughed before speaking up. "I don't think I would be the right person for that job." "I think you'd be perfect for it." He said back as he rubbed my thigh some. I was officially turned on now. I stood up before things could go any further.

"Um- Thats all the questions I have for you." I said as I was now walking out the door. The blonde woman from earlier handed me my purse back as I thanked her. "I hope you got everything you needed." Mr. Grey said as we were now by the elevator. "I did. Thank you, Mr. Grey." I thanked as he shook his head. "Christian." I smiled and pressed the button for the elevator as he tuned me around by my waist.

"In case you rethink about the personal assistant position." He said before he handed me his business card. I took the card from him and thanked him whilst walking into the elevator.

"Goodbye, Christian."

"Goodbye, Y/n."

[gellavonhamster]

monthly media recap: november 2024

read:

Mr. Justice Raffles by E. W. Hornung - another portion of the Raffles & Bunny stories read through the Letters from Bunny substack (which is still decidedly not a method of reading books that I am well suited for, but I'm gonna finish this one. And then never subscribe to another substack again, lol). I enjoyed the previous two short story collections more this novel, in part because I didn't quite understand a lot of financial dealings in this one, but it's also good, and I really liked Camilla Belsize.

The Boy and His Magician (Мальчик и его маг) by Yelena Yadrenceva - my dear friend's second published book! Never not amazed by what kind of amazing talented people I have pleasure to know. A story of mentorship, love, and breaking the cycles of violence. I read it while it was still in progress, and it makes me so happy to see it as a completed novel. And it still blows my mind that my name is on the list of dedications ❤

Blessed Bastard by Ruth P. M. Lehmann - a very sweet book about Galahad which actually made me like him for a change. I enjoyed the dreamlike quality it achieves towards the end and the combination of Christianity and paganism that works so well in Arthuriana.

The Masquerades of Spring by Ben Aaronovitch - I love this series but always forget about it, and then BAM, another book. This novella is from the POV of Nightingale's Bertie Wooster-esque school chum as he helps Nightingale track magical music instruments in the 1920s New York. Fun, queer, and overall delightful.

A Camelot Triptych by Norris J. Lacy - holy unreliable narrators Batman. The way the three stories complement each other is immaculate. The machiavellian Merlin, the dignified and tired Guinevere, the bitter Mordred who might be a secret hero or just delusional. Chef's kiss

Les Misérables: the Manga, Vol. 1-2 by Takahiro Arai - actually a really great adaptation! So many details are included (even some that I forgot were in the brick, like Fauchelevent's initial reasons to dislike Valjean), you can feel it's made with love and care. I loved how metaphorical art was at times - Valjean's rage as wild beasts, the ghosts of the past that haunt him, Javert's dog shadow (?). This omnibus covers only up to Fantine's arrest, but I'd love to read further.

watched:

Le Comte de Monte-Cristo (2024) - it probably differs from the book quite a lot from what I remember of it (which isn't much, it's been some 15 years since I read it), but it's really interesting. Three hours long but didn't feel dragged out at all. Wanna reread the book now

Edge of the City (1957) - friendship, cowardice, courage, and humanity. I don't know what to say apart from that this is a really good film.

L'amica geniale / My Brilliant Friend (2018-2024, season 4) - a very well-made (not perfect, certainly, but still extremely good) adaptation and amazing television in general. I cried every week which may be not much of an indication, because I always cry easily, but this is an incredibly moving story. And the casting of characters at different ages was superb. Reminding everyone that I have a sideblog @grecocerullo dedicated to these books/show while I'm at it :)

The House on Sorority Row (1982) - perhaps I need to reconsider my stance on slasher horror because I enjoyed this one (apart from some genre-typical ableism). It didn't go quite as I imagined, which made it more interesting to me.

[lettersfrombeyondthegrave]

So uhh christian linke saying Viktor is asexual?

First screenshot summarizes what was said, the other three are comments from the reddit post that I find very interesting

Here's the link included in the reddit post btw

I have to preface this by saying Ive seen just few posts talking ab interviews and statements of linke, never watched a full length interview or anything of him, don't know the guy, but the whole Vi thing that ended up not being a bigger center in season 2 makes me being reluctant in believing other things he says, sorry.

Before even touching on the ace part, about the first paragraph talking about how a part of the fandom shipping Viktor and jayce had no influence to the writing for season 2:

Number one feels silly, because it seems the writers very much kept in touch with the community, and I'm a truther about Mage Viktor (very implied??? based on how you read the scene??) being a retcon and how some other scenes felt like they're somewhere on ao3, so how do I not know they still saw the community liked a lot whatever was going between those two nerds and changes were still made on their plot based on that(even if they kept it platonic). But I digress

Number two, why do I get the vibes this guy just has some personal vendetta against jayvik nation? And this is a case of "Ah! Gotcha! These guys are not gay cus uuuuh one of them is ace and I don't know the difference between ace and aro"?

To get into the ace part (and jeez this post is already getting long), I'm ace myself. That's the only representation I can speak for on Viktor, so I very much appreciate the different insights I've seen of disabled people talking about his character from their pov, even more in general.

I also don't ship jayvik so I won't discuss it in those terms.

I wasn't taking in consideration oh he's a very smart, scientific guy obsessed with his work, more on the shy, introverted side and that fits the stereotype. Oh he's disabled and disabled characters unfortunately tend to get seen through this "sexless" filter

Dint cross my mind, at least not consciously

I had a little headcanon of ace Viktor simply cus that's what my brain does with my fave characters that dont show on screen or on page or on whatever, interest in sexual attraction. And also "haha purple (from the hexcore) like the flag" is a silly joke.

But when it's in some form, in the media or outside of it, said by someone that had control over writing decisions? That feels different.

It DOES feel very much "Dumbled*re is gay" type beat. You can argue that in this show there's no rlly "I'm gay" n stuff moment, relationships are portrayed and that's it, and ace rep in this scenario can be tricky cus it's more of a "lack", more of a nothing to show than something to show

At the same time Viktor plot was booked and busy on trying not to die and then going full final jrpg boss, it doesn't feel like in the text there was actual resemblance of rep, resemblance of "oh we always meant him to be ace, actually". + Viktor isnt the only character who we don't see interested in Those Sort Of Things, are we supposed to interpret all those other characters also as ace? See, it gets tricky.

In conclusion

If I'll continue to think of him as ace, it'll be as a silly little headcanon of mine and not what feels more like someone having beef with the discourse of a mlm ship than actually confirming good representation

Because you hear him say oh Viktor isn't cold and an emotionless machine, we see a lot of his emotions and how human he is (well first resurrection arguably makes him cold and. Metallic.) so, cool ace rep. But that's not all the stereotypes are about, as also the comments I included point out, and my bro Viktor start falling into all the other check boxes.

[redwavefeminist]

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ hi everyone \\(^.^)// i'm ćaja (tcha - yah). early 20s. i'm from an [undisclosed] country in western europe and i'm an organizer for my country's communist party

I've been on radblr for about three years now and lately i've gotten very pissed off at the casual racism, imperialist and anti-leftist propaganda that's been gleefully shared on radblr so i decided to create a sideblog to focus on women's liberation from a communist, anti-imperialist perspectiv. I know radblr has had these problems for a looong, long time but the way they treated Imane Khelif was really the final straw for me

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ white-passing, mixed working-class lesbian

i'm involved in some antiracist orgs that work to end racism targeting my ethnic group (won't say which because i don't want to leak my main).

i support female separatism but i don't think it's the be-all end-all of feminism. anti-political lesbianism. i don't care about dumb lesbian discourse (goldstar, butch/femme etc)

i don't consider myself a radical feminist because i find a lot of radical feminist theory to be completely disconnected from working-class women's lived reality. as a working-class woman from a marginalized/racialized community many of my relatives struggle(d) with alcoholism, drug abuse, illiteracy and psychosis, i have faced homelessness a couple of times and my struggle as a woman can't be separated from my struggle as a worker

i've always been interested in marxism and i've been a member of the communist party since january 2023. social reproduction theory resonates more with my worldview but i'm also interested in general marxist feminist theory as well as materialist feminism

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ no racism, no antisemitism, no zionism, no homophobia/lesbophobia, no ableism, no sexism

anti-psychiatry, anti-military, america-phobic, europe-phobic, pro-rehabilitation for convicts (still learning about rehabilitative justice)

atheist, anti-religion, very proud evangelical christian hater

vegetarian for the environment

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ abolish the sex trade and surrogacy. both of them are imperialist institutions that rely on the sex trafficking of impoverished women, mostly woc from the global south

you can't be a feminist, anti-racist and anti-imperialist if you support the sex trade (porn/prostitution) and surrogacy!

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ freshly graduated with a master's degree in social sciences, currently trying to work my way through Marx and Engels' works

some philosophers and activists I admire: Marx and Engels, Lenin, <3 Lise Vogel <3, Christine Delphy, Thomas Sankara, the Combahee River Collective. Still learning about marxism and marxist feminism (last read: Domenico Losurdo's Liberalism: a Counter History)

also interested in communist leaders (Ho Chi Minh, Tito, Mao, Kwame Nkrumah, Castro, Abdullah Öcalan) and female socialist/communist figures (Flora Tristan, Nadejda Krupskaja, Alexandra Kollontai, Claudia Jones, Nawal El-Sadaawi)

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ language, literature, philosophy enthusiast. indian food fan club. currently obsessed with crusader kings 3. i also love learning about archeology and religions (from an anthropological pov)

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ my favourite TV shows are Lost, Black Sails and Interview with the Vampire. my favourite movies are Black Swan, Wonka (2023) and Peter Pan (2003)

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ my favourite books are Frankenstein, the Count of Monte-Cristo, Lolita and Stephen King's It. currently reading some British female literature classics (Brontë sisters, Jane Austen, George Eliot)

UNCONDITIONAL support to the women in 🇮🇷 🇦🇫 and to the people in 🇵🇸 🇨🇩 🇦🇲 🇳🇨 🇸🇩 and Kurdistan!

[andromedaexists]

NOVELEMBER: Desecrate

UPDATE

I lost track of time this week (thanks to crazy shenanigans at work that I can't even begin to describe here without going on a huge rant) BUT it's the start of the writing month

In an attempt to find something non-denominational, I've stumbled on people calling this month Novelember, so I guess that's the work imma use for it too

My goal this month is to add 50k to this re-write of Desecrate. I'm sitting at just over 16k right now, so I would like to have 66k written on this draft by December 1st!

I have never been successful with these types of challenges, but I'm still gonna give it a go and take y'all on the trip with me. Idk how imma do updates for this challenge, whether they'll be hosted on my IG or my BlueSky (@andromedaexists for both!) At the very least I'll try to keep up with my wupdates to make sure I'm staying on track!

That's all I really have to say for now, see y'all in the first novelember update ✌️

THE PROJECT

TITLE

Desecrate

GENRE

Fiction - Dark Fantasy / Dark Academia

STATUS

Re-drafting! I’ve got about 16k done in this new draft with the plan to finish this one and start another round of Beta reads by the end of the year! Desecrate is already up on GoodReads if you want to keep tabs on it there!

AESTHETIC / TROPES

Religious trauma, Religion in general, queer characters, questioning faith, dream shenaniganery, reading a lot of ancient texts, complaining about college classes, Queer Platonic Partners & Found family in general

This book heavily criticizes the Roman Catholic Church and deals with Catholic Guilt and Religious Trauma 

SUMMARY

What would you do if everything you knew about your faith was flipped on its head?

That’s what Kit has been trying to find out. After dropping out of Seminary and giving up on his life’s dream of being a priest, he has to piece together the shattered remains of his faith.

But what if those pieces fit together in ways they never have before? What if they reveal a secret that the church has been hiding for millennia? What will he do then?

Adonai’s been held in captivity for longer than They can recall. They don’t remember what the sun feels like on Their skin, what the wind feels like in Their hair. It’s a shame, one of Their only regrets was not fighting back that day.

Their time will come. The Messiah walks among the living once again, and They know that he will free them. Until that day, They will remain patient.

MAIN CHARACTERS

Christian “Kit” Michaels (he/him) - the main character who’s POV we get. Just your everyday guy. Is a Classics student after dropping out of Seminary, does the church thing, lives his life to the best of his ability. Prone to some weird ass dreams

Adonai (he/they) - the subject of Kit’s dreams. They’re… not having a good time at the moment. Or really just ever.

Father Isaac (he/him) - A Priest of the Diocese that Kit goes to. One of the first people Kit goes to after his dreams start. A great confidant, even if he is bound by his faith.

Sister Benedictine (she/her) - Who doesn’t love a nun?? Some of the best people imo. Benny is one of the first people Kit goes to and is ride or die for her pathetic man (they are queer platonic partners, after all)

TAGLIST

@lockejhaven @mr-writes @eleanordaze @flowerprose

@starlitpage @dogmomwrites @annetilney @ceph-the-ghost-writer

@inkspellangel @outpost51 @love-whatit-loves @bebewrites

@smol-feralgremlin

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