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#ALSO yeah those are all probably actual words and slang and shit
monty-glasses-roxy · 1 year
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I. Can't prove the theory now. I was under the impression from the wiki summary that the Storyteller built its own body and that body was Tiger Rock, which meant if the two dipshits were killed by the Storyteller then it would have been Tiger Rock that did it...
Except they die of stupid and that's fucking it. The tiger isn't even a fucking tiger. Why they got a bust and four arms in their neck specifically if they're a fucking oversized nightlight from Aldi are you kidding me what is this
And who let this author have a thesaurus and a book of Scrabble words to piss people off so much they'd never play again?? What's a concourse?? A fucking FRISSON!!! HOI POLLOI????? SNAFU I CHOOSE YOU!!! For gods sake don't let this guy know about crosswords they'll forget what the sun looks like. I bet this is the guy that decided "Utili-dor" was a reasonable thing to name a corridor to Sewerhell.
And the big fucking tree????? In the main atrium???? Presumably????? In front of the stage????? Giant ass 75 foot tree????? Why.
I do love the honesty though. Like. For some reason Mr Burrows refers to himself as Mr Burrows, but oh wow he's so relatable I mean he says "How could I be so stupid?" like YEAH MAN I'VE BEEN WONDERING THE SAME THING ABOUT YOU THIS WHOLE TIME WOW IT'S LIKE HE'S JUST LIKE ME FOR REAL
Lmao actually though this is so fucking funny. Guy sees Freddy get in a tug of war with a little girl that has a plush of an old version of Freddy, lose that tug of war and then go cry in the corner about it and is like "oh okay I'll just go kill that guy I don't like I'm sure that'll fix it!" Then dies to his own Stupid. I should read the whole thing I'd love to see more about the completely unnecessary nature of literally all of this and also to see where the 'tiger' thing came from like bro what
Speaking of unnecessary!!!
Can someone that knows more about tech explain this one to me?
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(ID in alt)
Like. Legitimately, this just feels like he's asking to die to his own Stupid. I don't know enough about tech stuff to know if an oxygenated room is going to affect processors and shit compared to an unoxygenated room so... I'm asking if this is an actual Thing or if it's just this one guy being extra Stupid so he can die of bigger Stupid.
And I fucking LOVE that he asked some guy called Sebastian to stop every single function a human can make in the tree from working and put all control in a remote control that this one guy has... That he goes in without so he can die of Stupid. Bro really had one goal in life and that goal was to die of Stupid after being very funny and Stupid. I didn't even read the whole story and now I want to specifically to see the extent of this guy's Stupid.
I wanna make a post tomorrow that's just. Mr Burrows' Stupid Compilation. I think he deserves it. For being so fucking Stupid I've started capitalising the word Stupid in reference to him.
Anyway, every cool thing I thought was going on in the Storyteller was wrong, but I got Some Fucking Guy out of it so I guess I'm still winning lmao
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foone · 1 year
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So an interesting thing about Latin is that the word for "sword" is "gladius" and the word for "scabbard" is "vagina".
But here's the weird thing: in classical times, "gladius" was used as a slang word for "penis", but "vagina" was not used as a slang word for "vagina"!
The weird thing is that their term for the "vagina" was "vulva". Now... I'm not being lazy here and meaning the internal and external genitals as "vagina": when they said "vulva", they only meant the internal genitals. They even called the womb "vulva".
Anyways. For the external genitals, what we now would say "vulva" for, they'd use... "cunnus", probably? That's a vulgar word, I'm not even sure what you'd use if you weren't trying to be derogatory.
Although it's amusing to find out that "cunnus" isn't related to "cunt" or "cunny" at all. "cunt" comes from Proto-Germanic (where it meant the same, just not vulgar), and "cunny" goes back to a different Proto-Germanic word that meant "to know".
Anyway the worst Latin-dervived term for female genitalia is "pudendum/pudenda", because it was directly taken from medieval (I believe?) Latin where it meant the same, but if you know latin you can also translate it to which it means: "that whereof one ought to feel shame". Yeah, it's off the verb "pudeō/pudēro": "to shame". Fucking yikes.
And along those lines, reportedly a roman slang term for the female genitalia was "culpa", which means a fault or defect. Yikes again.
The final bit of weirdness is that "genitalia" is also a Latin word: but it doesn't mean the genitals, not specifically. It's instead a neutral plural for an adjective that means "related to birth or production".
So yeah. It's weird that English has so many Latin roots and then a fuck ton of weird false-friends in this area. I've heard that some of this is because of medieval renaming to move away from more sexualized terms (that's actually how we got the term "penis", which is a latin word meaning "tail"), but I can't completely verify that.
All this is on top of the consistent thing where English has that fun thing where we often have two words for something, and the one with Germanic roots will be vulgar, and the one with Latin roots will be formal. Fucking is vulgar, copulation is formal. Rude germanic barbarians shit, refined roman citizens defecate. the germanic peasants raise a cow , but when the anglo-saxon upperclass see it on their plate, it's beef.
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outivv · 2 years
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— random rambles —
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Synopsis: I just wanna gush about these characters :’)
Warnings: a lot of my own personal headcanons on the characters lol, mentions of raw cookie dough (putting this here justtt in case), and it’s not proofread
Characters: almost all the twisted wonderland characters!!
Pronouns for reader: gender neutral/ not mentioned
A/n: heyyy, I know I asked for genshin requests but IVE HAD TWISTED WONDERLAND ON THE BRAINNNN for like no reason too… it’s very very strange tbh. Anyways, I really enjoyed writing this, so I hope you like it just as much as I do!! Have a great rest of your day!!
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Malleus is absolutely the type to listen to every word you have to say. He isn’t very knowledgeable of a lot of more modern things, so he’s very interested in whatever you have to say :). Best boyfriend for anyone who has a major hyperfixation, this man will eat that shit up. He has a great memory too!! You could tell him everything about your current hyperfixation and he’ll remember it for the rest of his life.
Sebek and silver are weirdly the best duo to be friends ugh in my opinion. Oh my god imagine being in a little trio with them. That’d be so fun!! For example baking with them, Sebek would be very precise yet messy, and silver is probably the type to sneak a little bit of the batter/ frosting JVEJEHE. He definitely eats raw cookie dough straight from the bowl (it’s ok silver so do I, we can get sick together). Sebek probably yells at him for it too, like “MALLEUS WOULDNT APPRECIATE IT IF YOU GOT SICK SILVER.” “Bro wha” JVEJEHE. They’d just be so goofy to be friends with :]
Any time of the day. Anywhere. Any place. Idia is ready to dump his hyperfixations on you. AND IF YOU HAVE THE DAME HYPERFIXATION AS HIM??? It’s over. You are officially now his best friend uhhh would you actually like to just live with him???? If it’s not obvious I’m headcanoning Idia as autistic so. Anyways, if you stim with him? He gets really happy, but also really really nervous?? And pretty flustered. Ortho once walked in on you both just talking about your hyperfixations and he was like “idk what half this means but happy you’re happy” and just left MEVEJEH
Rook probably has a weird infatuation with fancy teas. You know what I mean? He just gives off the vibes, or someone who taste tests teas like they’re wine. Like “oh yes, I can taste the rose in this, mm.. yes yes, 1920’s rose tea, that was freshly brewed in a kettle. Very fine taste you have [name]” “Uhh I just bought this from sam’s shop for like $2. So. Sure??”
I think Jamil REALLY likes collecting random things with snakes on them. He gives the vibes of someone who just likes snakes of all kinds. Socks with a cobra on it?? Yes please. He wears them regularly. A cute little snake keychain, that is in his room somewhere, and sometimes he even puts it on his favorite bag. He just really likes snakes?? I know his last name is viper, so it’s super on brand, but despite all that, I genuinely think he just is one of those people that’s like “wow!! Snakes!! I love them :)” for like no reason. (I was one of those people. I would know a fellow snake enjoyer when I see one /j)
This isn’t a headcanon but more of a… random thought. How do Jack, ruggie, and Leona hold phones?? I saw Art of this once I forgot who made it but it was of Leona, and it just made me think like, their ears on on top of their head ok? So. When they take a call, mkay. Where do they hold their phones? Normally so they can’t hear? Or up to their ear, so then the other person on the phone can’t really hear them speaking, AND they look dumb. WHICH IS IT I MUST KNOW
Jade and Floyd mix in random mermaid slang with their regular speech. HSHEJHE imagine. Imagine just hearing “awww shrimpy you’re acting like a real starfish right now :(“ and then jade just “I must agree with Floyd, he’s saying the seaweed” LIKE WJEGSJVSKDHD IMAGINE. Oh my god- no because imagine being like “do you think this outfit is cute?” “Yeah I think you look absolutely stingray.” HSVEKEBS worst part about it is Floyd uses it the most and when you’re like “Floyd. Floyd why did you call me a pile of dried up and grey coral :(?” He just doesn’t explain, and keeps using it, and you don’t know of you should be flattered?? Or offended.
Lilia is an avid league of legends player. I’m correct. Don’t say I’m not. I don’t even play league of legends and yet I’m gonna headcanon Lilia as a league fan. Because, I am correct. (He also probably is a fan of guilty gear, and Elfen ring but you didn’t hear it from me)
Mkay now Sebek , Idia, and azul, are the type of people, that whenever their crush is around or whatever, they are absolutely not responsive. Literally freeze. Now with Idia after like a few minutes of trying to get him to respond, it’s a 50/50 chance (that you will lose.) that hell either run away and hide, or if you’re lucky he’ll actually try to say something to you before he gets too nervous and just leaves KEGEJS. Azul on the other hand will freeze, not responsive for like two seconds, then “oh prefect I didn’t know you’d be here.” “You’re right in front of my dorm.” “Oh.”. AND SEBEK JUST COMPLETELY DOESNT RESPOND AND LEAVES BEFORE YOU CAB SAY ANYTHING TO HIM WJEGKEGEKE
I like to think epel and riddle are close friends. They both have weirdly fiery, and yet calm personalities, and I think epel would make a BEAUTIFUL apple tart for riddle a lot. Like imagine all the details in the apples, cause he carved into them, and omg I would respectfully devour an apple tart made by epel. But I also wouldn’t… cause it’s so pretty :’)
Vil has a separate MagiCam account dedicated to fitness. And, AND cater follows it. Why? Because it’s “super aesthetic” (in reality it’s to encourage himself to work out cause vil is like obviously super strong and successful so like working out and being athletic MUST have something to do with that.) (cater also never works out SJSGEJE)
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yarpharp · 2 years
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I had this insanely long conversation with a dear friend about how the Batfamily would probably be the most bizarre collection of accents ever. This was the verdict:
Bruce is a Gothamite, but he was raised/primarily around Alfred, with his classic British accent. He'd sound out a lot of his vowels with a bit of a Jersey drawl, but he'd annunciate with the kind of precision you expect from an Englishman. He also probably calls the bathroom the Loo in private and a few other little slang terms. BUT oh, it gets even more confusing as he gets older, because he spent a good chunk of his formative years after basically quitting college being trained by the League... Where the dialect is somewhere between archaic forms of Arabic and some Mandarin (because Ra's is old as dirt and obviously refused to adapt his language habits)? The comics were never very clear, but Arabic was a generally agreed thing. So ultimately? Bruce has this generally soft Gothamite accent with careful English annunciation but some words end up lilting because of League influences. The paparazzi claim it's his "international accent" from traveling all over so much, but in reality? He's Batman. He got that accent from being around Alfred and Ra's when he was young.
Yet then this leaves us to analyze others! I mean, what would Jason's actual accent be? He's a Crime Alley kid at the core, so an insanely aggressive Jersey accent. But then he died and came back, and who raised/trained him in his formative years? Oh yeah, ALSO THE LEAGUE. So now you got this pissed off anti-hero with a voice modulator with an accent that drags at vowels but lilts at random. None of the other criminal kingpins in Crime Alley can pin down if he's actually a local or some upstart from out of town trying to assimilate to the local vernacular.
Dick Grayson is the one with the most Frankenstein accent. Why? He grew up in the Circus, and when his Romani parent was not around to babysit him, it was a diverse mix of individuals with all sorts of accents and verbal ticks. Some lilting, some drawl, a bit of everything. Sometimes he just pronounces one word in a very specific way and it baffles Bruce and Alfred. What's worse? He's just one of those people who picks up accents from friends and family, so he ends up coming home one day after hanging out with Superman pronouncing shit like a Kansas hick out of the blue. Bruce is beside himself.
Duke and Tim are immune. Tim sounds like a Gotham rich kid with good pronunciation but a few nasal vowels and Duke just has a mid-level Jersey accent that any average Gotham kid would have.
Stephanie is the wild card. She's got the Gothamite accent but she's ADHD beyond words. And if you have ADHD, you might understand the feel when you subconsciously start picking up accents for certain words and phrases. As a result, Stephanie will randomly tone-shift into an accent she picked up from a Batfam member. Or her favorite barista at Starbucks. Or Harley Quinn's dramatic Jersey accent that outstrips Jason's.
Cass is stuck in accent/pronunciation hell. She's trying to learn to verbally speak English but everyone around her pronounces shit differently. ASL is great, it's neutral language everyone in the family knows, but when she finally speaks it's a mess of accents that reminds everyone in the family that WOW WE ARE A LANGUAGE SALAD.
Damian just sounds like a rich Arab kid. Perfect English clearly trained into him via a UK-born tutor but plenty of the lilt. He gets subconscious about it privately and tries to lose the accent for the sake of "blending in" to Gotham but he's surrounded by family with non-standard Gotham accents.
And finally: Alfred. He has his British accent but he's surrounded by people who have hybrid accents. When he is extremely upset, he loses a lot of his British posh and sounds a lot like Jason. He blames Jason for cursing wildly and repeatedly in his kitchen over the years for causing this.
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throped · 1 year
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Never Glory - Chapter 3
Tom Riddle x reader
TW: blood, gore, death and all that stuff
I made my way to platform 9 and 3/4. I remembered my first time going through it and needing to ask a lady for help. I forever treasured the courtesy of that women. I faintly remember her telling me about how amazing Hogwarts would be and how she had 5 kids that had already went there.
After my sudden trance, I gently grabbed Kaiser and let him go under the sleeve of my robes. Yes, I was already wearing my robes since I didn't want to change in the train. I made sure everything was secure on my trolley and ran through the wall, leaving me in a different platform than I was before.
"Nice to see you again, Platform 9 and 3/4," I said. Some would probably call me a lunatic if they heard that and I wouldn't blame them. I got sorted into Gryffindor the last time I came here centuries ago and I don't think that's going to change. I mean, maybe it will or maybe it won't. I can't predict the future. Oh wait- I can haha.
I boarded the train and started to search for a free compartment when I saw a few girls sitting in one. I opened the compartment's door and saw the girls. It had looked like they were all gossiping about some random shit that I didn't really care about. "Hey, I'm Daena, Daena L/N. All the other compartments are full and I was wondering if I could sit here?" I said with a bright smile as to keep up politeness. "Uhm, alright I guess. I'm Heather Varma by the way and these are my friends, Taylor Shack, Jasmine Walker and Grace Roka. I have more of course but we all can't fit in one compartment," she said in a sort of snobby way, almost bragging. All of them looked me up and down in a sort of judging way and proceeded to continue gossiping about whatever shit they were talking about before. Rude. "What year are you in because none of us girlies have seen you around," Walker asked. "Oh, I'm in my fifth year and yes, you may not have seen me around since I'm new to Hogwarts," I spoke, being way politer than using slang like 'girlies' when meeting someone the first time. What kind of a word even is that!? 
"Yeah I figured you were in fifth, you definitely don't look like a first year. We're in fifth year too," Shack butted in. I just nodded and refrained from cursing them. 
I huffed and took a seat in the far corner of the compartment, because I didn't want anyone to see Kaiser and because I wanted to steer clear from those snobs. "I tthink that tthey don't like you," Kaiser hissed under my sleeve. I started whispering, "don't you think I already realized? Also, stay hidden, can't risk being expelled when I haven't even entered the school yet." Kaiser's head poked back into my sleeve. I felt like I needed some shut-eye time so that's what I did. 
I didn't fall asleep due to the rowdy girls sitting next to me. I could feel the ringing in my ears as they talked about all sorts of things. I heard them mentioning names of boys and Tom Riddle came up quite a lot. They must be fawning over the guy. I wondered who he was. They also mentioned other things such as their preferred makeup brands. I also heard them trash talking about other students at Hogwarts. I had my eyes closed and so the girls next to me thought I was asleep.
"Oh my god, Daena is so weird. I wonder what house she's in. Hopefully not ours, even though she's kinda pretty, she'll probably give a bad name to us ," Walker whispered, not knowing that I was listening to it all. 'Pathetic imbeciles,' I thought to myself. Not wanting to hear any more of what they were saying. I stood up and made my way out of the compartment. I could hear some, "you didn't think she heard that?" from some of Walker's friends as I was making my way out. 
I sighed as I escaped that negative space. It just felt so fake, like they weren't actually friends. I scoffed at the thought of those girls and made my way to a different compartment where I saw a mix of boys and girls. "Let's try my luck," I said to myself before sliding the compartment's door. 
"Hey! I'm Daena L/N and all the other compartments are full and the one I was just in, let's just say that it didn't exactly have nice people," I said, leaning on the side of the door. "Of course you can sit with us! I'm Lily Evans and I can tell that we'll be friends," a girl spoke up. I genuinely smiled and walked in and found a seat in the far corner like before. "Thanks, the other compartment was full of snobs and when they thought I was asleep, they started to trash talk me," I laughed. 
"Oh that sucks, let me guess, Walker, Shack, Heather and them," Lily stated, "they're not the best of people, but they're quite popular. And considering your looks, they must be jealous." I chuckled at her response, knowing that we'd be great friends. "Oh and these are my friends," she pointed each one of them out, "James Potter, Molly Prewett, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew." 
I smiled at all of them and waved as they waved back. "So, what year are you in Daena?" Sirius asked. I smiled and responded, "Oh I'm in fifth but I'm a transfer from Ilvermorny." Of course, I wasn't a transfer but it's my cover up and I did it pretty smoothly I must say. "That's so cool. I heard they also have houses?" James interjected. "Yup, you're right, they have four too. Horned Serpent, Wampus, Pukwudgie and Thunderbird," I replied. Yes, I did do my research.
"I wonder what house I'm going to be in though," I said as the rest in the compartment listened. "Yeah, we're all in Gryffindor but we wouldn't mind hanging out with you if you're in a different house!" Molly said. "Thanks, I really appreciate that," I spoke, not even knowing that I was smiling. I checked to see if Kaiser was alright under my sleeve and when I did, it looked like he was asleep. I let him be.
The train ride came to a halt and I stood up, offering Lily and Molly one in the process. They graciously grinned as they took my hand. James, Remus, Sirius and Peter trailed behind as Lily, Molly and I walked and talked about Hogwarts and that resulted in them giving me some heads up about some stuff. 
"When I was in the other compartment with the other girls, I heard them fawning over this guy. I couldn't help but listen and hear the name Tom Riddle," I said. "Oh Daena, you don't wanna go near him. He's very smart and apparently handsome for other girls but I'm telling you now, he has danger written all over him," Lily spoke. 
"Plus, he called Lily a mudblood when she accidently bumped into her," Molly added. "I already don't like him," I said as I looked at Lily and Molly. All three of us got onto a carriage and were pulled away by thestrals. Lily and Molly claimed that they couldn't see them no matter how many times I told them that they were right in front of us.
We ended up reaching Hogwarts and to say I gaped in awe at the giant castle was an understatement.
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Woah, that was long. Anyways, yay! Varma, Walker, Shack and all those 'girlies' hate you lol. But at least your friends with Lily and Molly! The other girls are just gonna be made up side characters so don't really mind them, you can change the names to your preferences :)
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keikakudori · 2 years
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did he try to make any friends in the academy?
random asks ( even though i asked for it ) | ALWAYS ACCEPTING
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ooo, loaded question here. the answer is both yes and no.
aizen, when he first got into the academy ( on his first try for that matter ) was viewed with some disdain. it's very rare, i imagine, for a shinigami to come from an eightieth; the only other one that aizen knows about is kenpachi of zaraki, though they came from different locales in regards to an eightieth district. because he was very obviously from the rukongai and quite feral, he didn't really have a lot of people trying to make friends with him. he had a rather thick accent at the time, a tendency to shorten words, use slang, things of that nature and the result was that his fellow classmates quite often looked down their noses at him. i've always been of the mind that, given the classism in the rukongai and from what we see in the series itself - particularly with renji and rukia - it wouldn't be unheard of for other people from the rukongai to view those from "lesser" districts with an air of "i'm better than you because i didn't come from the shit hole you did." and when aizen began to polish his speech up and expand on his vocabulary, it was seen at that point in time as him trying to imitate his "betters" since there were several minor nobles in his class with him at that point in time. these days, aizen's accent only comes out when he's drunk and that means that gin's the only one who's heard it because he's the only person that aizen gets drunk enough with to the point where said accent begins to pop out. but back then? it was something that was touched on and derided to some degree, that working on bettering himself. aizen was seen as absolutely strange while in the academy, being bookish, paying attention even in the boring classes, being smart and often displaying signs of introversion. but he began to open up after his first year or so and that was when people began to discover they were interested in befriending him. aizen had plenty of love confessions while in the academy, when he started his third ( and final ) year of classes so he was making friends, at least marginally, while in his third year. the problem was was that aizen found the people around him dreadfully transparent. he had no interest in being fought over by people who had a crush on him. he found the people tedious. by this point, too, aizen was acutely aware that he was far stronger than all of his peers at that point in time ( honestly, he was probably very near to lieutenant strength alone during the Academy and he was only a child then. ) and that was also a source of isolation for him. he also did murder two teachers while at the academy, though. he had reason for it. one of them was abusing his female students in that very particular way which was used to exploit them. the other was worse. he doesn't feel sorry for it.
but any 'friends' that aizen made were amongst the people he found the most tolerable. not only that, but the friends that aizen did make were ones that, over the years, he was able to glean favors from due to their positioning in other divisions. of course, that's not exactly friendship. so ... he did try. he actually did. but success where this is involved...? yeah, i would have to say not really. hiyori, actually, became one of his first real friends and he was always genial to the other lieutenants; he saw no reason not to be. but hiyori, gin, and kaname are the only people that i could safely name as being friends with aizen, though to varying degrees. he needs more friends. he really does. i promise that he'll behave himself if you become friends with him.
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soulmate-game · 3 years
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Hawkmoth was a bitch, and Marinette meant that with every fiber of her soul. Fu was also a bitch, and Marinette actually had good memories of the guy. Not many, but she had some. The fact that the guy got two ten-year-olds to become super heroes and fight a supervillain for him kinda soured those memories, though. But with Chat Noir not allowed to leave his house? Yeah, even as young as they were it only took about a year to find out who HawkMoth was and another year to take him down.
Except, that left Marinette alone. The final battle took her mom away, and Chat had to move out of Paris after his dad was arrested. Luckily Jagged allowed her and her papa to move into his house in Gotham, and everything was…
Well, it was okay. For about a month.
Then her dad was gone too, and she had no way to talk to Jagged, and the police were scaring her—
Yeah, that was the basic order of events that led to where she was now. Pushing fourteen years old, ex-superhero, protector of a magical box of gods, stealing the tires off of a very nice motorcycle.
Marinette was tempted to just take the whole thing, she loved bikes and knew she could drive it. But the thing had more security than she knew what to do with, and the fact that it belonged to Red Hood… she didn’t want to deal with trackers today, thanks. So the tires it was.
Should she maybe care more about the fact that she was stealing from a vigilante with a violent streak? Maybe. Did she? Hell no. For all she knew, maybe Red Hood was a bitch too. (Yes, she was still learning English slang. She was fluent by educational standards, but learning how to curse in a foreign language was fun and she still had a little bit to go. Her few street friends were very happy to help).
A shadow dropped down in front of her, and Marinette’s hero instincts kicked in. The tire iron she was using cut through the air, slamming right into the side of Red Hood’s knee.
—*—*—*—*—*
“Hood,” Batman’s voice grumbled over the comms, instantly grabbing the attention of everyone else who was on the comms. It wasn’t as gruff as he usually sounded, in fact it almost sounded like… he was trying not to laugh?
“Did you get gassed by Joker?” Dick asked before Jason got a chance to respond. “Need backup?”
“No,” Batman responded, sounding a little more composed. “Not a rogue. But Hood, I need you to join me at my location as soon as possible.”
Finally getting the chance to talk, Jason responded a little warily; “Sure, B. Wait,” he blinked at the location that was sent to him. “Isn’t that where my bike is parked?”
Batman didn’t respond at first, only the sound of labored breathing— again, as if he was trying not to laugh. “Just get here, Hood.”
Sighing, but not too mad since the night had been fairly quiet so far, Jason decided to humor the old man and head over. When he could see the cape-clad back of Batman, he easily leapt over the last roof and sauntered over.
“Okay, B,” he had his thumbs tucked in his pockets as he drawled. “What’s the issue?”
Batman was grinning. As in, actually showing amusement. And he just pointed down, straight at Hood’s bike.
Jason rolled his eyes under his helmet, turning to look. At first he didn’t see anything amiss, until he saw movement and looked harder. Oh. Oh, holy shit.
“Is that a kid?”
“Yep,” Batman’s grin grew.
“Is she… stealing my tires?” Hood was so, so glad he wore a helmet that hid his expression. Because… wow.
“Yep,” Batman finally lost his composure, chuckling. “This seems like Karma, don’t you think?”
“And you just watched her so you could rub it in,” Jason groaned, throwing his head back in exasperation. Of course he would. Nobody knew it (except the other heroes who knew him) but Batman was a petty little jerk when he wanted to be. He bought the whole Daily Planet just to spite Clark, for crying out loud.
“Don’t adopt her,” Batman said as he stood up, patting Red Hood’s shoulder. “It looks like she’s almost done.”
“Shit,” Jason hissed, looking down to see that she was, actually, very close to being done. She had already had one tire completely free by the time he had arrived, and now she was only seconds away from getting the other one completely free.
He took a quick assessment— she was tiny, and really thin. Definitely a street kid, he thought, though he didn’t recognize her. He knew most of the street kids that stole to get by, nowadays, which meant she must have been fairly new. But even though she seemed to know what she was doing, her small frame made her take longer unscrewing the tires than it normally would have taken. Sure that she wasn’t a threat by any stretch of the imagination, he jumped down. His plan had been to startle her a little by showing up out of nowhere, but he didn’t want to scare her too badly. Just make her jump a little.
But he had underestimated her, it seemed. Without wasting a second, she jumped up and swung her tire iron at his knee. He cursed, she was a lot faster than her had been expecting. He was able to move so that the weapon only clipped the side of his knee, his knee pad thankfully taking the worst of it. She still hit hard enough to make him stumble and hiss in pain though, which was an accomplishment.
That’s when she abandoned her weapon and her tires, darting to try and escape only for Batman to drop down and block her escape. Though really, it was the grin Batman had that scared the girl most of all, apparently, making her slowly back away from him.
“Please stop smiling,” she begged with a faint French accent to her words. “It is not natural.”
That made Red Hood laugh, already recovered and right behind her. He plopped a gloved hand on her head.
“I know, it’s creepy right?” He joked. “What’cha doin’ stealing my tires, kid? I kinda need them to drive anywhere,” he was careful to keep his voice light and devoid of any anger. He wasn’t really upset, all told. It would be hypocritical of him if he was.
She looked between the two vigilantes for a moment, clear intelligence behind those bright blue eyes as she seemed to consider something. Suddenly she pulled away from Red Hood and stepped away from his reach, straightening up and trying to look tall.
“My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” she said as firmly as she could. “My father was Tom Dupain, he was killed in a mugging three months ago. We were living in a house that our family friend leant to us after my mother’s death six months ago, and we moved here from Paris. I haven’t been able to contact him, and the police… I don’t trust them,” she admitted, clearly seeing this as the chance she had been waiting for. “I have been living on the streets since my father died. I am sorry for trying to steal your tires, Monsieur Red Hood. But it was a risk I had to take.”
“Did you expect us to catch you?” He asked, crossing his arms as he re-evaluated the girl. She was a lot stronger than he had assumed earlier, both physically and mentally. She seesawed her hand to indicate ‘kinda’.
“Even if you didn’t, I could make good money off your tires,” she justified with a shrug. “To me, I would win either way.”
“Who is your family friend? Can he help you now, take you in?” Batman asked, moving forward and kneeling down to be closer to Marinette’s height. Neither he nor Jason had missed the part where she was an orphan, but they had expected that considering what they had caught her doing. And they both knew that she wasn’t likely to take any apologies they tried to offer very well. It was best not to show pity, or she might get angry.
Marinette frowned. “... Our family friend is Jagged Stone. He lets me call him Uncle Jagged,” she told them, clearly expecting the disbelieving grunts they gave. “I mean it! You can call him, he might even be looking for me! I—“
“We know,” Hood assured her, now kneeling down as well. Man, she was short. “Calm down, we know you’re telling the truth. Jagged has made several public announcements about his missing honorary niece, we just didn’t recognize your name right away. And Jagged doesn’t have access to very many pictures of you, those he does have the Mayor isn’t allowing him to show because that spineless jackass—“
“Language, Hood.”
“—Cares more about keeping bad press off the air than finding a kid, even if it’s a world famous rockstar who’s asking. That’s probably why you haven’t heard anything, the mayor’s keeping it off the radio and not many reporters are brave enough to take the story and get on his bad side.”
“Oh…” Marinette took a deep breath, fighting the tears that were threatening to rise up. “He has been looking…” she sniffled, curling in on herself a little. “Can you take me to him?”
“I think we can do that,” Batman agreed, standing up. “I’ll contact him. Red Hood, can you handle everything here until I give you a place to meet up with Jagged Stone?”
Jason nodded. “No problem, B. Come on, little rabid pixie. Step one of gettin’ you back to your uncle is to help me fix my bike back up.”
Marinette sighed, shoulders dropping. “All my hard work, undone…” she playfully complained. But in the end she didn’t argue or fight against it, she just sat down and helped him reattach his tires.
All the while, Jason’s family kept teasing him over the comms. Clearly they were also thoroughly amused by the cosmic display of karma.
“...Monsieur Hood,” Marinette asked once they were done repairing the motorcycle and he had given her his too-big extra helmet. He tilted his head a bit to show he was listening. She squirmed. “Can… can we stop by my hideout? I have something really important I have to get.”
Jason smiles gently under his mask. She might not have been a street kid for very long, but she really did bring back some memories for him. He got on his bike and held a hand out to her.
“Sure thing kid. Wanna grab something to eat after? Can’t have a reunion on an empty stomach.”
She gave him a lopsided smile— not quite overjoyed, but definitely hopeful and thankful. Maybe this was the end of her streak of bad luck, she could only hope.
“Only if you don’t mind, Monsieur Hood,” she agreed before taking his hand and letting him help her onto the bike.
“No skin off my back, pixie,” he assured her. Then they were off. He followed her directions until they got to an abandoned building about three miles away, not in a good part of town at all but at least not in crime alley. Marinette easily led him through the building, skirting around other piles of ratty blankets and up broken stairs until they got to the badly-maintained top floor. She led him over to an almost invisible door in the concrete wall that pulled out to reveal what was probably a broom closet once upon a time. It was crowded with what looked like junk and empty boxes, along with a few blankets and two or three changes of clothes that were clearly her’s. A few belongings scattered around— a book, a small pink purse, and… Marinette came out of the pile of mess holding what had clearly been a very carefully hidden box. She also grabbed the purse and slung it over her shoulder, but didn’t seem worried about anything else.
Jason frowned at the box. It wasn’t that big, but it was clearly made of old wood. There were intricate carvings that were painted pink, in a symbol that was itching at the back of his mind. He recognized that symbol, but from where?
“Ready to go, kid?” He asked as he thought about it, getting a nod from Marinette. Twenty minutes later they were at a Batburger, sitting in a shaded booth that couldn’t be seen from the street.
She never let the box out of her sight. She kept it on the seat next to her, and Jason noticed that she tried to keep one hand on it at all times. But when she spoke, now her French accent stood out to him even more than before. But why—?
And then it clicked. Paris. Hawkmoth. Ladybug, Chat Noir, magic artifacts called Miraculous. Wonder Woman had raised a fuss when the heroes disappeared, declaring that something was wrong but she couldn’t put her finger on what. Then the magic users they trusted were called in, and returned from Paris with the grim news that the former Guardian of those artifacts had activated a failsafe and passed the guardianship on to someone else while erasing his own memories at the same time. But nobody knew who he could have passed it on to, so Batman had been given the green light to do all the research he and his team could into the Miraculous box to try and help track it down.
And here it was. The carvings were in pink now, which might have been the “cosmetic change” that Constantine had mentioned might happen when the box changed guardians. He had found the box full of super powerful magical artifacts… in the hands of a newly orphaned street kid who couldn’t have been older than fourteen at best.
What the hell?
“...” Red hood reached into his pocket and pulled out an old receipt and a sharpie. He scrawled on the back of the receipt and handed to Marinette. The girl was halfway into a bite of her burger when he did, and blinked at him owlishly before swallowing and cautiously reaching out to grab it. She frowned at the numbers scrawled there.
“What’s this?” She asked.
“My contact info,” he explained. “I won’t ask questions about why you have that box,” he watched her instantly stiffen but continued as casually as he could; “but it doesn’t matter. You can call me if you ever need help with anything, kid. Help with that box, help if you get in trouble in Gotham again, or even if you’re having a bad day. You can call me for whatever, got it? I don’t care if you think it’s stupid, if you can’t talk to anyone else in your life you can always call or text me and I’ll do whatever I can. Got it?”
“...” Marinette sniffled for a second and looked down at the table in silence for a second. “... what if I want your motorcycle?” she joked, but the watery tone of her voice gave her away.
Jason laughed, patting her head. “I need my bike, but we can talk about getting you your own once you are old enough to get a license. You almost done? Bats says that Jagged is ready to meet you, I can take you to him right now.”
“Yeah, lets go!” she was newly energized and shoved the last bite of burger into her mouth greedily. “And Red Hood?” She asked as they headed out to where he had parked.
“Yeah, kid?”
“Thanks.”
—*—*—*—*—*
Permanent tag list (I remembered it this time!)
@rosalineandrosemary @neakco @justanotherfanficlovinbitch @trippingovermyfeet @certainmuffinbagelcalzone @bigpicklebananatree @fantasylover-92 @prongs-flowers @jumpingjoy82 @prettylittlebutterflie @queenz-z @literaryhiraeth @waffelyunsure @deathssilentapproach-blog @waiting247 @theirlmikan @unoriginalmess
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dolugecat · 3 years
Text
On some Japanese social issues I had learned about at uni and abroad):
(Rb ok!)
Legit had an epiphany about the true hidden meaning of the last arc of Mob Psycho 100. It’s hella projection but for real there is nothing neurotypical about Mob or Mob Psycho. I do not wish to enforce my interpretation on others (ironic bc I do that all the time but this is a serious social theory). There are some interesting and very sad social issues in Japan that the west really doesn’t understand but would I think help people understand a lot of context behind not only Mob Psycho, but also a lot of other anime. I learned this at my shitty university (prestigious but horrific) and while studying abroad in Japan and talking with Japanese peers. Get ready here we go (and tw for bullying and darker things):
Unfortunately in East Asian education systems, bullying can be extremely intense. Growing up I assumed it was over exaggerated extremely in anime for drama but it really can be so horrific. From what I’ve heard, there is often a single kid or so who is just shit on by everyone else, even the teacher. Mogami land *is* the reality of some Japanese kids. I’ve read that in Korea, this social punching bag sometimes is just the darkest skinned person (yayyy colorism /angry) and or someone who does not fit in. I mean, we have that in America too, but maybe not as common for the bullying to be as focused on one misfit rather than several. These kids just can’t escape the stigma too, kids from other schools find out they were a major victim at their old school and it starts anew. Thus there is so much stigma and incentive to join in on bullying so you aren’t the one. Sadly, this also ofc leads to higher suicide rates. That’s where the “shoe on building roof” anime trope comes in, bc somehow taking off shoes is relayed to death (I forgot why sorry)
There is a difference in how intense in general high school vs college is too. In the West, commonly college is the more intense curriculum and is harder than high school, but in Japan it’s usually the opposite. Grind suuuupppeeerrrr hard for entrance exams (huge standardized tests that determines what college you can qualify to) bc unlike the ACT or SAT here, that test is by far the most important factor for college admission. Then chill and relax a bit in college. Can’t relate. Name and prestige is very critical for job application, more important than here. That’s why planning out your future is sooo much more intense for Japanese high schoolers than in America, and why there is sooo much more pressure to excel in high school than here. Japanese school years and holidays are done different than ours, I’d suggest looking it up.
Social prestige of going to an American high school or college is nuts. Like whyyy do you value our shitty education, Japan’s is much higher quality (it’s bc we neo colonized them). Being able to speak English is very, very highly valued and any association with Americans make you cooler. From my experience, some Japanese students got very excited to practice speaking English with us, and their biggest issues with learning it is pronunciation, lmao. Wasai english is unique slang that is indeed English words but it’s kinda different and it’s kinda jarring to remember lol. So, Teru having parents that are working overseas isn’t too uncommon, idk about leaving him absolutely alone, but I did have a ex-friend who just came from Japan in middle school who’s situation probably wasn’t too far off from that. Empty wealth with no love, it’s no wonder those kind of people can end up being huge bullies (minori?)
I did a presentation on 引きこもり(hikikomori) for which means “shut in”, (like Serizawa) and it’s fucked up. It’s a social phenomena where according to some Japanese researchers a mix of undisciplined parenting, guilt/not living up to expectations, and hopelessness makes an alarming amount of youth/ young adults literally never go out side their house/room. Often a parent is “enabling” the behavior by supporting them, but idk the articles seemed a bit victim-blaming to me when I read it, but I don’t think I should make a judgement too hard, not my place. I will say I do suspect and believe I read something to support that ASD might play a role in hikikomoris (there is pitiful resources for autistic people in Asia, much much less support than even here, to the point I don’t think most know it exists). Like come on, with the other points I laid out my personal opinion as an Asian American with autism is that it really seems it’s unknowing ableism against autistic classmates, but I didn’t grow up in Asia so I don’t want to say.
Mental health in general is tragically quite abysmal in Japan, and with it being so hyper competitive and brutal work culture, it’s no surprise birth rate in Japan is so low; some Japanese young adults say it seems unethical to bring a life to such hostile world. Suicide rate is of the highest in the world. It’s fucked, I’ve interacted with some of the locals in Tokyo and they were so nice, but the business men just looked dead inside, it’s so sad.
Relationships between child and parent is also strained bc of this intense work and school culture. Quality time is too scarce when you gotta work so much. And the pressure from parents to do well in education or else you might end up socially stigmatized is rough. Bc your job is who you are, it’s hyper capitalism (thanks us for making them do this)
With autism being so unknown, support for parents in raising autistic kids is almost nonexistent. What happens if the “darker” side of ASD shows up in kids? I used to be a menace when I had meltdowns, I felt so bad but really just became so indiscriminately violent. See where this is going? Legit, I think ESP is a sort of metaphor for neurodivergance to ONE. There is so much stigma around it, and even less way for kids to understand why they are different than the others. My Korean family can’t admit we all got ASD, too much fear and internalized shame.
I got finally diagnosed with ASD as an adult and I’ll tell ya, I relate too much to Mob hurting Ritsu. I felt so bad, but also not in control, I knew what I was doing but not how to stop. Luckily, is was blessed in that my hyperfixations involved science and logic, so I did well at school. Sadly, our boy Mob just don’t got the passion or ability to do well at school. His kanji is very bad, even to point of not being confident he wrote a kanji (世) they learn when they are 9, in elementary school (thanks @katyatalks). Him being a bit berated by his parents for having bad grades and bending spoons seems harsh to Westerners I think, but IMO it’s pretty tame from what I’ve seen of some Asian parents (I get to say that lmao). Ofc, however the shaming is very real and Mob just agreeing with them about how weird and stupid he thinks he is so sad. There is even more pressure for the eldest to be better than here, I feel from some interactions. Nonetheless, it’s implied Mob is quite emotionally detached from his parents, even though he loves them, which also adds to his emotional complex. Combined with originally fragile self esteem and feelings of worthlessness, we got one emotionally stunted boy. However, contrary to common belief people with ASD are sometimes hyper empathic and experience emotions very intensely. We are prone to having “meltdowns” which if not assisted with can be quite violent if very intense. For me, my worse meltdowns as a kid came from when I didn’t understand why I wasn’t getting what I wanted, it seemed selfish and cruel of me but I couldn’t control it. I wanted to be a good kid, so why did hit my moms leg at target when she refused to buy me Pokémon toys? I couldn’t come up with a good reason for why my mind just commanded my body to do bad things, just a single thought was controlling me, I want I want I want I want I want ____. Which I argue could be what ???% represents… bc well…. Yeah….. hmm….. not in control of self (mob unconscious), selfish (not actually, I’ve forgave myself but my “normal” kid self was so ashamed), destructive, hurt family, wanting to stop but can’t, that’s kind of…. Too relatable.
But legit, since realizing my new HC, I’ve started to think of the last chapter of mp100 when I “explode” and it helps me feel better and I do gain “control” a bit easier. I don’t feel so bad anymore either, Mob!
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tomatograter · 3 years
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Do you think Dirk saying that he doesn't like to label himself as gay means he has internalized homophobia? Or does he really just don't like to put labels on himself? I've seen ppl saying it's homophobia but there's ppl in real life that don't feel comfortable with labels so I'm a bit confused honestly, cus we are talking about Dirk and he's... Dirk after all
Easy answer: Dirk is Gay.
Prolonged answer: I think it's kinda weird how some fandom discussion around "Dirk dodging the label in One pesterlog" has largely spiraled way outside of its original context to be talked about in a vacuum, especially when that context is crucial to understanding what is actually being said, AKA — it belongs to a deeply awkward conversation between Dirk and Roxy. One of Many they are implied to have had about the subject of Roxy's sustained, unwelcome, and oft drunken advances towards Dirk (& his splinters).
I'm going to reproduce it plus another bit of text down below, for the sake of comparison.
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(To prevent the trickster text from looking like absolute shit, I have altered the background. Read the original here, if you're nasty: https://www.homestuck.com/story/5754 )
Now that we've been reacquainted with how and where that sentiment is expressed, let's try to break down what Dirk is doing here.
He is not receptive to Roxy's early advances, and spends most of the 'intro' for this conversation (not pictured) ignoring when Roxy flirts with him, until she gets upset at how 'boring' he is being right now.
Dirk is the one compelled to apologize.
He proceeds to shut the scenario down as an unwanted probability, eliciting further guilt-babbling from Roxy over how Dirk never wants to play along with the perfect traditional family fantasy, until she finally blows up and says it's because he's gay.
"I mean, yeah, that's what I thought."
Dirk, rather than saying I Am Not Gay, since he looooooves changing a conversational subject, claims that "Gay" is not entirely historically appropriate for this situation, given the non-negligible passage of time and the wildly dystopic circumstances* they find themselves in.
Dirk reassures Roxy he does still care about her.
Dirk is absolutely terrified of a similarly inclined (and intoxicated) Roxy up close. This is the most exclamations he's ever used.
Now, *These circumstances? The loss of 99% of the human race, including their society, customs, culture, and prejudices. (ALLEGEDLY.) It's important to remember that from Dirk and Roxy's side of the timetable, troll culture has been pushed as "the norm" for actual fucking centuries. HIC tried to recreate the caste system by artificially coloring human blood, leading to the death of billions. Faygo came out of the water tap, not water. Troll slang was incorporated into the English language. Humans ceased to organically reproduce. They were actively Discouraged from reproducing, since that's not something HIC could have total genetic control over; rendering traditional marriage and the concept of the nuclear family pointless.
You could also argue that same-gender relationships are not uncommon in Alternia, making "gay" altogether unnecessary by proxy, and that's true! But my point is this one: any union (or at least our society's holy concept of it) between straightie humans would be by definition undesirable under HIC's rule, too. She is the church, the president and the governing body. The population is only as good as they are assets for her to do whatever she wants with, including mass murder.
But wait! While that tracks… Roxy clearly still holds onto very 'conservative' definitions of romance for most of Homestuck. We see this multiple times. Dirk, as proved in conversations with Jake, uses 'gay' as an ironic pejorative. Suddenly it's not Historically Inaccurate anymore, Jake's interests are just gay.
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Does this mean the context above is basically worthless, since they don't seem to have internalized it? No.
What must be kept in mind is this: Dirk and Roxy's only "active" link to de facto humanity is our society as it was in the early 2010's. Those glimpses they get by talking with jane and jake. They have all that dystopic context, yes, but the reality that seems the most "unfucked" to them for a grand majority of their lives are the halcyon years before the Condesce's rise to power: back when weed was illegal, BlogSpot was popular, movies sucked, MTV was still a hip channel, and gay generally meant something real bad. The wave of homophobia as a punchline or fear mongering tactic was at THE HEIGHTS. Marriage equality was a hot debate topic. Those were the dayz.
Dirk is keenly aware of the taboo implication the word "Gay" as a self-denomination carries. He's no dummy. But he's rarely direct with his intentions either. He's slippery as a bar of soap. (He's never "straight about his feelings", if you prefer.) And for a guy that cares so much about his reputation and maintaining a curated sense of utter coolness, he wants to avoid outing himself as any sort of weirdo no matter the cost.
But that's not all. I think the gravity of just how much Dirk believes he *owes* Roxy simply for existing as the last human in the same timeframe as her is a severely underplayed aspect of Dirk's core character, together with how much he tries to avoid her sexual advances only to end up feeling like absolute shit over it, because — if they truly are the last people on god's blighted earth, isn't he being "selfish" and "irrational" about not feeling shit for Roxy, in the grand scale of things? Is Roxy not his only friend in tangible reality, even if he avoids the mere suggestion of visiting her? Even if she gets black-out drunk and tries to push him into indulging her, regardless of how many times he's already said no?
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(Spend enough time here and you realize how it directly mirrors the jane/jake experience.)
Dirk cares a lot about each and every one of his friends.
He pointedly adapts his speech based on whichever one of them he's talking to in an effort to express that investment. May it be reassuring Jane, fooling around with Jake, or trying to prevent Roxy from falling into a total catatonic doom-spiral; he avoids telling them anything that would be too crushing to hear. That's not what he's trying to do here. Not to say that he isn't bitchy sometimes, but that’s far from the central thing he does. The Epilogues have retroactively led people to believe that Dirk abhors and despises every single person he's ever been close to before (god forbid) LIKING them, and I think buying too much into that assumption ignores the foundations of his canon text, as well as the central motivation behind 99% of his actions in the story. This is the guy that grew up on Friendship Is Magic, has a picture of rainbow dash shamefully glued to one wall and a rainbow poster of Jake's symbol stapled to another, and everything he does is a little cringe attempt to demonstrate his worth by showing how much he cares about people, even when he's punching his actual feelings down instead of up and saying them.
Which brings us back to the load-bearing part of this question: Admitting to Roxy that there is absolutely no fucking way he will ever agree to having her babbys because he is gay is precisely the opposite of what Dirk wants to say, if his intention isn't pulverizing her. So he doesn't. And his worry on this regard is such that it prevents Dirk from even telling Roxy that he does love her, in the platonic sense, as a friend and hell-earth survivor, because he knows that specificity is what that would disappoint her greatly. (He only ever confesses this to Jane, on the death slabs.)
But also I think this is a really funny visual of Dirk's relationship with the word gay, to put statements into perspective:
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mouseymassacre · 3 years
Text
MORE DR. TWO BRAINS HEADCANONS BC I WATCHED THE RISE OF MISS POWER AND A BUNCH MORE EPISODES
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fruity ass gif bc i love him
-> he has so many mental illnesses. particularly adhd and bpd ^^ im not projecting. he's also autistic because i said so.
-> sensory processing disorder moment. he has trouble processing sounds and touch mostly and kinda isn't super aware of the space around him ^^
-> he doesn't talk to his family much or like. at all? he doesn't really remember much about them because his living situation was really stressful as a kid.
-> not only is cheese like. good bc he's a mouseboy, but also it's like. really good for his sensory issues.
-> showering is a fucking nightmare for him. his hair is always super messy, the sound of running water is a really bad thing for him sensory wise, and its hard to shower with his rat features + his mouse brain being on the outside is uncomfy. he made himself some earplugs though to help with the sensory part of it.
-> tbh. fruity. he's bi and trans!! he makes his own hormones and did his own top surgery. made his own binder as a younger adult.
-> if he had an actual cell phone, i think he'd have a very specific typing style. all caps, a lot of punctuation, MOUSE PUNS, etc!
-> "CHUCKY BABY, ANGEL DARLING, MY BEST FUR-RIEND. CAN I COME OVER" "mom said yeah just don't make a mess pleasee :(" "YES YES OF COURSE OF COURSE!! THANK YOU YOU'RE SO AM-MOUSE-ING!"
-> i like to think that the shirt he wears under his lab coat is one of those hospital scrubs. i feel like he definitely went to a hospital as a child and managed to keep the scrub bc the texture was nice:) i know its not a scrub but shut up its MY comfort headcanon!!
-> lemon demon fan. will wood fan. the oozes fan. probably likes some rock music bc of chuck, like black sabbath, alkaline trio, rise against, warrant, etc!!
-> he honestly really likes stickers and wears them on his arms or face in his free time. like... he doesnt do it while doing evil business in public but they remind him of his henchmen and shit:)
-> he and chuck definitely have made ocs together.
-> kinda touch adverse except with people be trusts? like. he won't completely freak out from physical contact but its still uncomfy for him. so when miss power was like hashtag Whip and Nae Naeing his ass he was internally Screaming.
-> he doesnt really like being picked up by his shirt in general but with miss power it was somehow worse bc she's just like. some gal.
-> he would use discord. he would have discord nitro. he's in a cheese eaters discord. he got banned from the cheese eaters discord because he got a little rowdy one day.
-> i think that he'd learn a lot of slang because he hangs with the botsfords a lot. like... he kinda got integrated into the family after the dr two brains forgets episode bc it just... happened. it just happened.
-> tj teaches him the word "poggers" and wordgirl has to simply cope every time she hears him say it unironically about one of his inventions or cheese.
-> his hair is so Dry. he is so dry in general. fuck bitch MOISTURIZE!!!
-> really likes cuddling chuck. can be interpreted as /p or /r tbh i think he just feels safe with his little sandwich bestie.
-> he really likes it when people he trusts touches his tail or scratches behind his ears. hes so Mouse you guys... He is so Mouse.
-> (minor s/lf h/rm tw, proceed with caution) probably has a lot of weirdly healed over scars because of his teeth being shaped like mice's, and he probably bites at his skin quite a bit to relieve stress.
-> idk why i like this headcanon but... he really appreciates the like... demonia + kandi + graphic tee stuff, but unfortunately doesn't participate because the familiarity of his coat and normal clothes is safe while Wearing Other Clothes Is Not. he thinks its a really cool way to express yourself!
-> adding onto this, but one time becky made a couple of little diy homemade pins out of a couple of different buttons, all painted with different pride flags and even one decorated with a couple of spikes and a cute little super-mousified version of dtb. he wears them literally every day, and even tried to make pins for his other villain friends!!
god i have school tomorrow i need to stop mf RAMBLING. if u have any other hcs please feel free to like . tell me i dont bite i purr-omise i just love attention
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astro-rain · 3 years
Text
delicate; b.barnes
chapter sixteen — “aftermath”
delicate masterlist
word count: 1.5k
synopsis: steve finds bucky a bit stressed and acting (only slightly) neurotic. he aims to uncover the source of his best friend’s conflict... and he’s not surprised at the answer.
pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader
[A/N:] ‘doll dizzy’ is 40’s slang for “a boy who is crazy about girls” also this is kind of a filler chapter, sorry :(
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The walk back to his living quarters was hazy and slow. His mind went back and forth from scattered to blank, in complete disbelief that what just happened happened. It was surreal; it almost felt like it didn't happen.
It wasn't... supposed to happen. They were supposed to be friends. Conceptually he knew this, but then she was there and she was so close and her hands were on him and she was saying such sweet, gentle things.
Briefly, so Bucky touched his lips lightly with the pads of his index and middle finger. If he focused hard enough, he could still feel it, feel her. Before he could dig himself another grave, the rational part of his brain yanked him back to reality.
Did he ruin everything? After all, it was him that leaned in this time. How different would they be from the last time the two of them got too close? The rumination would've continued, but the voice of a blonde super soldier interrupted his thoughts.
"Buck, you day drinkin' now?" Steve called, jokingly.
"What?"
"You look drunk."
Post fuck up delirium? He bet he looked like an idiot. To be honest, he felt a little inebriated after what he just experienced.
"I can't get drunk."
"Yeah, that's why I'm confused."
"I just..." he trailed off, thinking of an excuse, "was on a run. That's all."
As Bucky walked up to him, he could more clearly see the confusion on Steve's face.
"In those clothes?"
"...yes."
"Whatever you say, pal..."
Bucky didn't have time for so many questions! He didn't even have time to think; he had no idea what he was going to do, what was going to happen. Then Steve started talking again.
"Hey, Sam and I were going to-"
"I gotta go," Bucky interrupted, needing to find someplace to suffer through his thoughts.
"Buck-"
"I'll see ya later."
From there, he left his best friend more confused than when he found him.
Bucky paced around his room, his worried, worried mind running in circles. In the heat of the moment, she said she wouldn't leave, but how could she not? And what the fuck was transference? Was that what was actually happening? Even if it was, how could she condone his actions? There was no way she could stay after that! Right?
The rest of the session was so awkward and they left things in such a weird place and Bucky was so confused but also feeling all sorts of other things and-
"Bucky."
He turned to see Steve march through the entryway with a kind of glorious purpose only Steve Rogers seemed to have.
He sighed. "What do you need?"
"What is up with you, man?"
"What?"
"What's up with you? You're acting weird."
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are. Tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing's wrong!"
"You're a terrible liar," he deadpanned with a hint of a smile.
"I'm actually a good liar. I just... got a lot on my mind, okay? So, you can go be a worryin' geezer somewhere else. I'll be just fine."
"Geezer? Did you forget that you're literally older than me?"
"Shut up," Bucky all but pouted, too frazzled to muster up some creative banter. "Punk."
"Just tell me what's wrong, ya jerk."
He knew Steve wouldn't budge. At first he thought, stubborn ass. But then, he remembered how Y/N said Steve's stubbornness was something she really respected about him.
Bucky sighed, giving in and slouching into a chair near his bed. "It's Y/N."
"The... therapist?"
"Yes. The therapist."
"What about her? Did she do something? Is this another Zemo situation?"
Steve's voice got more defensive with each word. Like he was ready to kick someone's ass if need be. Steve Rogers: loyal to a fault. What else is new?
"No! No, nothing like that. Things are just... kinda complicated..."
"Complicated how?"
Yeah, how exactly was he supposed to explain this part? He didn't want to reveal any details and get her fired. Obviously. Steve wouldn't tell anyone anything that would get Bucky in trouble. That much he knew. But with Y/N, he wasn't sure. He decided to play it safe, proving that he was, in fact, a good liar. Or, at least a good only-tell-certain-parts-of-the-truth-er.
"Complicated like she might leave."
"Why would she leave? Are you guys done with the therapy?"
"Not exactly. It's... things between us are... odd."
"Odd?" Steve asked, clearly wanting some kind of elaboration.
"Yes," Bucky said curtly, giving him nothing of the sorts.
Steve stared at him for a moment, and it looked like he was trying to solve a math problem in his head. Bucky almost laughed.
"Buck, you didn't..."
"Didn't what?!"
"She's your therapist!" he exclaimed, although he didn't look very upset. More so surprised.
Now Bucky was starting to lose his composure. "What are you talking about?!"
"Well, I guess you really are getting back your old self because this is probably what he would do."
Did he just get called a man slut?
"What is that supposed to mean?" he crossed his arms.
"You've always been... what'd we used to call it? 'Doll dizzy?' Yeah. It's making a reappearance."
"I-..." Bucky exasperated.
Okay, maybe he was a little doll dizzy back when he was a kid, but now? Certainly not now. That's ridiculous.
"What? You're gonna look at me and you're gonna tell me that I'm wrong?"
"What exactly are you implying?"
"Are you..." he stuttered, slightly embarrassed, thinking of how to choose his words, "being intimate... with your therapist?"
If he wasn't preoccupied with worrying about his psychologist leaving, he might have laughed at Steve's awkwardness.
"What! No! It's not like that!" He felt flustered.
Steve laughed. He fucking laughed. "Then what?"
Bucky rubbed his eyes, groaning in annoyance. "We're... just friends."
Well, they were supposed to be. He's not sure what they were now... or what was going to happen. Beforehand, any cursed feelings he had were just that: feelings. They were in the back of his mind, barely making themselves conscious long enough to be known, long enough for him to be fully aware of them. But now, he felt like an exposed nerve, feeling all too much too fast.
"Just friends?" he raised his brows in disbelief.
"Yeah, just... yeah..."
"I think you guys look at each other a little too long to be just friends..."
Bucky scoffed. "What does that even mean?"
"I saw you two at the bonfire."
"Okay? Whatdya want, a trophy?"
"Yeah, yeah. And whenever she wasn't looking at you, you were gawkin' at her."
"I don't gawk," he rolled his eyes.
"Oh, but you do."
"And since when are you tracking everyone's eye movements?"
"You were subtle, I'll give you that. But I know ya, Buck. And I'm observant."
"Yeah, and I'm screwed."
"Why?"
"'Cause she's probably gonna leave now. I mean, she said she didn't have to, but she'll probably think everything over and end up leaving."
"What, 'cause you looked at her?"
"No, 'cause I kissed her!"
A smile grew on Steve's face. "I knew it."
Once more, Bucky let out a loud and annoyed groan of frustration. "Man, I fucked up. I had a good thing going for me... god damn transference... shit."
"Transference?"
"It's a thing she told me about, it's like... apparently my feelings about something else get transferred to her, so I don't really feel that way about her, but it seems like I do... I think."
"That's... a thing?"
"Apparently- I don't know," Bucky flailed his hands, beginning to pace again. "That's what she told me at least."
"Well... did she kiss you back?"
Bucky stopped moving.
"She did..." he said, while realizing that, yes, she actually did kiss him back and shocked that she... actually kissed him back.
He guessed his mind hadn't caught up to him yet. He hadn't analyzed their actions and each physical change between them. He guessed he was still stuck in that moment. In his head, they were still kissing.
"That's a good sign... right?" Steve shrugged.
Bucky squeezed his eyes shut, brain all but malfunctioning. "I don't know what it is. I don't know anything anymore. I'm a crummy patient..."
"Oh, come on. What happened to Brooklyn's ladies man?"
"He fell off a train."
Steve looked only slightly mortified, but it made Bucky laugh. Comedic catharsis seemed to ease the tension in his chest.
"Look," Bucky started, "she's like the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. And I think I might've ruined it. I just want things to be okay with us... I don't want her to leave."
"Did you talk to her about it?"
"No, we ended the session early 'cause of me. It was... awkward after."
"Well, go talk to her then!"
"I can't, I just left. I wanna at least give her some space."
"You didn't seem to care about space earlier," Steve teased.
Bucky smacked his best friend's arm. "Would you cut it out!"
"Wait, but how did it happen? Like did you just leap up and grab her face? How did it go down?"
"I'm gonna kill you."
"I thought I was the wing man! I need details!"
Bucky turned. "Oh yeah, wingman? How's Sharon?"
Steve shut up.
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delicate taglist: @bakugouswh0r3 @thefridgeismybestie @strivingforelegance @ilovespideyyy @xpurpleglitter @bluelakeee @darkacademic2 @nickkie1129 @eclipsedplanet @paradisedixon @crazy-beautiful @coffee--writes @lilithknight1111 @buckybarnesishot310 @softladyhours @alwayssandy @quxxnxfhxll @those-sea-green-eyes @hero-ically @devilswaldorf @cc13723things @maravderofthephoenix @avengersgirllorianna @cataves @thatbitchsposts @talktomeaboutthestars @surrealpsycho @headheartbellarke @bubbly-moonwarrior @bluemoon-icecream @buckeyecreates
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lvlyhao · 4 years
Text
『you’re dating him but he’s not your bias』
reaction fic; NCT Dream
A/N: this is nct dream’s reaction to realizing your bias is not him (and you’re a couple). gender neutral, got way too deep at some points and was NOT meant to be this long. enjoy.
note that english is my second language and i speak mixing slang, accents and spellings from 3283928 places so i did notice there’s practice written with both s and c down there so
just dont mind it pls
also, today’s photo theme is dream looking cute in low quality shots.
𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮𝓼: fluff (♡), angst (❆), comedy (☼), crack (⍢).
𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: lots of swearing, my tough love for the neos, one mention of cheating that doesn’t actually happen, a couple of mentions of alcohol and drinking, some violence hidden in metaphors, me being chaotic, it got a bit more angsty and darker than i intended, but we do have all happy endings.
word count: 6.8K
pairing: nct dream members x reader ( includes mark, renjun, jeno, haechan, jaemin, chenle, jisung)
disclaimer: the characters in the story below do not reflect real people or present real facts. this is purely fictional, and you may not copy, change, translate or repost my work in any way. all rights reserved © cherry-hyejin 2021.
*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:
Mark
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oh, poor baby
i feel like he would be a little heartbroken 
just a little
not so much if it’s someone from dream, because they’re his little brothers, but if it’s one of his hyungs from 127 or wayv,,,,,
boy might cry
he’s not super dramatic about it or anything but i don’t see him as being super confident about himself
so he might think like
“do they think he’s cooler than me?”
and it’s silly, yes, he knows
but it’s just something that pops up in his mind sometimes when you bring him up
so for the sake of this fanfic let’s pretend you’re johnny biased
because gods know i am
at least when it comes to 127
mark would be divided into fanboying with you and being like “YO, HE’S THE COOLEST GUY ON EARTH OH MY GOD I’M SO GLAD YOU AGREE”
and
“a h”
<gives you a little tiny smile to cover up the sound of his heart breaking>
would constantly try to get closer to you when johnny is around, and just
showing off in little (kinda dumb) ways
complimenting you
being even more whipped than usual
like yes he’ll give you all of his watermelon slices just please don’t look at johnny like that again
i think johnny would kind of play into it with the whole “imma steal your s/o” thing
and he doesn’t do it to make mark jealous or hurt
we know he’d rather get hit by a train than ever actually upsetting his son on purpose
but we also know he’s johnny
cue “OH DUDE HE’S FLIRTING”
so yeah he might call you lil pet names (beautiful, cutie, you get it)
just to see you giggle 
(and see your soul leave your body)
might say he’s taking you out for dinner when he’s just driving you to get more ice cream for a movie night with the gang lol
and winks
expect a lot of winks
anywhere and anytime
which makes mark sometimes feel like he’s intruding???
and that you appreciate johnny more than him???
he genuinely doesn’t understand how you can date him and still not have him as your bias
don’t you like, love him above everyone else or smth lol
his “showing off” phase eventually fades tho
now every time you hang you with the boys and johnny is around, he’ll be a bit more distant 
he thinks he’s giving you space to interact with his friends but he’s just shying away from competing with one of his favourite people ever
and it’s a competition that Does Not Exist™
but he’s not 100% aware of that
and you’re not that dense 
so ofc you notice
and you wait till you two are alone to talk to him, and he BEGRUDGINGLY admits that you being johnny biased makes him feel kinda small and unimportant
he’d never try to make you change your bias or anything
he just needs reminders that he’s your #1 boy sometimes
which is fine by you
and by him
cus now it’s you calling him pet names all the time
and hugging him
and kissing his cheek
and praising his work
and blowing kisses from across the room
and just telling him straight up that no matter what, you’ll always go to him
(not that you ever had any chance with johnny lmao)
THIS GOES TO SHOW COMMUNICATING IS KEY, CHILDREN
COMMUNICATE
Renjun
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wym donghyuck is your bias lol
literally are you fucking kidding him
don’t get me wrong ok
everyone knows renjun loves haechan
they’re bffs and could not live without each other
but at the same time,,,
what is wrong with you
who did he choose as his s/o gods help him
if it was jeno, or mark, or jaehyun, or winwin, or kun, or lucas, or yuta, or taeyong, or ten, or,,,,
literally ANY of his other members
he’d understand your point and be like “ok fine”
but haechan???? hmmm bestie no
he’s not gonna throw a fit
not after the first time you told him anyways
HE WAS SURPRISED OKAY
and he just whined very loudly after having laughed for 5 minutes thinking it was a joke
<flashbacks of that one time he had to sing the ottoke song with haechan on weekly idol>
if you don’t know that iconic scene, renjun had a whole ass meltdown in 3 seconds while yelling “aAAAAAH JINJJAAAAA” and getting ready to punch the living shit out of hyuck
for no reason other than the fact that it’s haechan we’re talking about and injun’s little body is filled with rage
BACK ON TRACK
would probably try to act all cool about it and be like “i don’t mind” but bruh does he mind
and it doesn’t help that haechan is such a little shit about it
he doesn’t even flirt with you
he just
constantly reminds renjun that he’s your bias—not him—and then constantly praises himself over you
“ah, y/n~ did you choose me as your bias because i’m the best vocalist? or was it because i’m the best dancer? mAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE OF MY OH SO BROAD SHOULDERS—”
(pause for injun to punch him)
(unpaused)
and ok in the beginning it was funny seeing him all worked up but now it’s just annoying to be in the same room as these two
haechan won’t let either of you live
and renjun just wants to
fight
so it eventually gets to the point where you’ll talk to renjun and jeno will talk to hyuck cus even the other dreamies are tired of it
except maybe for chenle, he always laughs his ass off when they start bickering
ANYWAY
your conversation goes something like “oh my god renjun i’m literally dating you, i don’t like haechan better or anything you little pile of fury”
while jeno sits hyuck down in front of him and jaemin and just
“bro why are you like this”
“bro”
no but renjun would apologize for going overboard with his protectiveness and jealous energy because he’s not generally like that
he’s angry all the time but never about something involving you, you know
he tries his best to treat you like the royalty you are
but something about hyuck being your bias makes him feel a bit like a castaway???
he’s very creative and as an artsy kid myself i know we’re very prone to feeling left out because we’re just different from the others
so he’d think maybe haechan really has a better voice
or better dancing skills
or he looks better
he is taller than injun after all, and has broader shoulders, and his hair is all fluffy and—
the whole thing just made him insecure about things he had settled with himself long ago
he was fine with being him
but not so much when it came to that
i don’t think you two would fight over it cus tbh i think renjun would really only get with someone who can be very understanding of him
and i think hyuck would actually apologize to renjun too
not when everyone’s around but like, maybe after dinner or something and he just needs to feel like they’re besties again
hyuck never meant for things to get out of control
he just really likes both injun and you as his friends, and aside from skinship his most prominent love language is,,,
teasing
he was really just trying (very poorly) to grow closer to the person his best friend loves so much—you—because renjun is SUCH a big part of his life it would just feel wrong to not be good friends with you as well
don’t tell them i said this but they hug it out
injun strikes me as someone that could take a bit of time to bounce back from something that hurt his pride or his sense of belonging
and his way of healing and bonding is just,,,
art
sure, keep being haechan biased, but also please read with him
and talk about his fantastic animal creations
and watch those buzzfeed unsolved alien theory videos because he really wants to discuss it and maybe even draw what he thinks the aliens look like
hyuck tones it down, you make sure renjun knows you like him for him, renjun starts to (secretly) appreciate hyuck’s talent along with you...
and now let’s take a moment to imagine the minute you watch their latest mv with injun by your side
and yes okay the first thing you see is CLEARLY how good renjun looks because holy fucking shit he’s an angel (and i’m clearly not renjun biased)
but then,,,,,,
wAS THAT A HAECHAN HIGH NOTE
(there’s always a haechan high note, just look for it)
and ok maybe he did scream a bit with you because of how good it all sounded
and you know what, it works out perfectly bc you two are my new otp and you were meant for each other
but we do have to mention the eventual happening of chenle saying like “oOoOoOoH y/N wErE yOu dRoOliNg oVeR hAeChAn AgAiN” after a special stage
and then you, injun and hyuck all attempt to choke him
i’m kidding
or not
Jeno
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ah, lee jeno
aka samoyed boi
yes i do call him that no i will not stop
everyone is always writing jeno as being super protective and literally about to burst a lung if someone else ever does as much as look at you
but i just 
don’t see him that way
he’s a taurus and from what i know about taurus they can be v v jealous, yes, but they mainly seek comfort
so he’s fine with you biasing jaemin
as long as you’re not ditching him or anything lol
and ok, imma be 100% honest here even if it sounds like literal no fun (jenojaem wink wonk)
jaemin doesn’t flirt with you
not any more than he flirts with
every other breathing creature
ever
he’s really only platonically interested in you, never remotely romantic or anything lol
on the other side, he is in love with jeno
basically, if jaemin is your bias, jeno is his
so nothing really changes
we know how nomin are, okay
they hold hands, they stare deeply into each other eyes, they nearly kiss at least once every time they go live
it's just them
you gotta respect it bruh
i know this is the most boring reaction ever so let’s create the one (1) instance where jeno would actually dislike that you bias someone else
i think he would feel a bit hurt if you seemed to be more supportive of jaemin’s work than his
and it’s not something big or on purpose
it’s just something like going with him to a recording session but not going with jeno because you have homework
or after a very busy practise day going to praise jaemin first
even if it’s just three words
“you did good”
and then you’re going towards him, he’s gonna feel like maybe he doesn’t deserve your praise as much as nana????
i actually feel like, among the dreamies, jeno is the least confident one when it comes to his performance
he knows he’s not an awful rapper or anything but i think it can be a bit too much, being around such bright and huge presences like the others while his nickname literally means “no fun”
his members are just so loud and full of energy most of the time
and sometimes he just really needs to be quiet and observe in silence 
(yes i do know he’s chaotic and a crackhead, i’m just saying as we know he can be a bit introspective)
so what if you just
stopped seeing him?
did he become invisible to you?
did you finally fall for jaemin’s beautiful smile and stupid pick-up lines?
he’s not gonna let it show that he’s affected, though
earth signs are nearly always the ones to “stay strong” because we have this image that people are relying on us???
so we do what we do
bottle everything up and overwork ourselves bc we only got two modes
1. chill, super balanced and down to earth (ay for the pun)
2. please make us take a break we’re literally about to cry if we work for one more minute but we can’t allow ourselves to fucking take it easy
so yes you’ve guessed correctly, we’re going with 2
jeno is going to go so, SO hard on everything he does 
literally every single activity you can think of from dance practice to photoshoots to cooking for the dreamies
he stays up later than usual to get that one tricky move in the choreo just right
he works out more because he thinks he has to look absolutely perfect for when they shoot the mv
jisung asked for ramen? he’s making it but you bet your ass he’s spending over 40 minutes just chopping so
many
vegetables
AND STUFF THAT JISUNG WON’T EVEN EAT
but he’s doing it anyway for the reason being that it just has to be the Best™
and it’s not like he’s competing with anyone else to be diligent
this is just about being better than he was and showing himself—and maybe you—how painstakingly hardworking and driven he can be
maybe then you’re gonna acknowledge him as much as you acknowledge nana :((
:(((((
writing this is making me downright sad, jeno is so underrated and unaware of his power UGH
and i need to point out this is NOT about making you change your bias from jaemin to him, this is solely about having you recognize his efforts, even if you already do
if you just thought jeno was like going off in work because it was asked of him to, jaemin would DEF notice and talk to you about it
turns out it’s a habit of jeno to go extra hard sometimes and he needs someone to make him take a break
so it goes down like you breaking into the practice room when jeno and jisung were practising
the first reaction is confusion
the second is oh hey babe how are you
third is
a-are you dragging jeno and his bag out of the door while screeching at jisung to order pizza and doughnuts for everyone??
yes you are and i’m proud of you
so jeno is still confused and making those cute “hUh” noises he does omg i love him so much
and you’re just rambling about how much of an amazing artist he is, and you love his voice, and he’s a fantastic dancer, and his expressions and gestures are on point, and he takes such good care of the dreamies and
he’s perfect
and he knows jaemin must have talked to you, and he feels so vulnerable to have you know how on edge he’s been
baby boy just needs some rest
and that’s exactly what you give him, with a bath full of those fancy bath bombs and flower petals and candles at your house/apt
then a quick sheet mask while you massage his shoulders and keep saying how much you genuinely admire him
the mask might be ruined cus he started crying out of exhaustion
after that’s been done and you’ve hugged for at least like 5 min nonstop, you head over to the dorms, where hyuck was in charge of setting up a blanket fort while mork and nana gather board games, jisung gets the food and chenle
well chenle just had to make sure jisung doesn’t forget to order for someone and doesn’t break like 10 plates trying to set the table lol
this is way longer than the others so imma wrap it up
make it obvious and loud that you see and respect jeno’s hard work and he’ll be alright again
and maybe make those game nights a weekly thing when possible, it would make him very happy
he’ll never again feel sad when you praise jaemin cus now he’s sure he does enough, and above all, he is enough
Haechan
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haechan = full sun
why would you ever bias someone when you’re dating the goddamned sun
does not understand
but also does not care that much
actually, one out of two really depending on who your bias is
if it’s one of the members he has that tom/jerry relationship with, prepare for so
much
complaining
and clinging
AND HE’D BE SO LOUD OH MY FUCKING GOD
donghyuck please stop screaming about doyoung not deserving to be your baby’s bias, it’s 2 am
on the other hand, if it’s one of the (few) members he,,,
adores with all of his heart and is not afraid to show it
ex: sungchan, jaehyun, taeil and yang2x
then you can bet he’s going to be right beside you whenever you feel like throwing a fit because he’s just so handsome and talented
IF IT’S MARK OSHDISJD
i’m going to write you as being mark biased ok? ok
i honestly don’t know if he’d feel more jealous of mark or of you
he loves you both
a lot,,,,
and he really doesn’t like it when mark blushes when you compliment him
and he doesn’t like it when mark literally just walks past you and you trip over your feet because bro tf u doing, that’s some embarrassing shit
lowkey done with you two
but also PAY HIM SOME ATTENTION
or don’t, he’s fine either way (cue crossed arms and staring at you from across the room until you come give him a kiss)
“he’s pretty cute but i’m cuter right baby”
pouty pouty pouty if he ever feels neglected
will be so fucking annoying lmao i can’t write haechan, i love him but i do understand why renjun is always trying to beat him up
he’d be a show-off in a different way than mark because he can be so petty
will take every chance he gets to pull a one-liner
will sing everything he has to say just so you know he can hit those high notes
what do you mean dream doesn’t have a schedule today
oh man, he could swear they did
because that is the sole reason why he’s wearing his most expensive clothes and shoes + makeup to walk around the dorms, yes
no he doesn’t want to impress you
shut up
will text you like every single fancam he sees on twitter
every
single 
one
and are they mark’s?
lol no, they’re his
he is so genuinely trying to make you a member of his sunflower cult 
<whispers> “tell me i’m your bias” 
“donghyuck what the actual hell why are you standing at the end of my bed in the middle of the night like a fucking demon child”
he really wants to act all cool and composed but he wants to be your bias so fucking bad
he’s a bad bitch all around and just does whatever
cus haechan privilege
and he tends to not care about what people say and think???
bc he knows he’s lee donghyuck
he’s fully aware of the effect he has on people
but you
not biasing him
naw, he can’t take it
will do anything and everything he can to make you say, JUST ONE TIME, he’s your bias
then you can go back to loving (his) mark
so for your sake, for his sake, for mark’s sake
just give donghyuck what he wants
i can promise he’ll keep being an ass no matter what you do
like yeah did you just buy him coffee and his favourite cake? well that’s sweet but iS HE YOUR BIAS YET
“aw babe thanks so much for taking a bullet for me but now please say i’m your bias”
if you still don’t do it, it’s time to be extra petty
will actually drop you for mark
his logic is something like: he can’t be your bias? pity, so he’s just gonna date him instead
and mark is mark so he has no idea what’s going on
everyone in 127 and dream finds this absolutely hilarious cus suddenly donghyuck seems to be doing his best to win over mark’s heart and i mean more than usual???? and he’s treating you like his bro????
<you leaving the dorms to go to uni or smth so you go to hyuck for a goodbye kiss> “no can do, i’m committed”
“i’m your partner”
“no that’s mark”
it’s not 100% a joke when i say i can see him getting down in one knee to propose to mark while making eye contact with you to
assert his dominance
and mark is just
“dude
what HAHAHA”
and you are so done, i’m so sorry you have to go through that bby
i don’t think there’s another way to fix haechan other than just admitting he was your bias for an era, or a comeback or something
like yeah with the other dreamies before him it’s bonding + healing time bc i wrote it all kinda angsty (lol sorry) but with donghyuck
no
“will you stop this if i say you were my bias during reload era”
“mark wasn’t in dream that era tho”
“yes i know”
i say he’s gonna take what he can get and now things can finally go back to normal
with the exception that something else comes along with hyuck being satisfied with you biasing him
he just has a full pass to fanboy over mark now too
what am i talking about?
new 127 mv is out
you: watching it beside haechan and going off about how pretty mark looks
him: going off even harder bc he’s whipped too
this is what a happy couple looks like 
but now i pity mark because he has you two idiots fanboying over him irl
savemork2021
Jaemin
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nana is just such a chill and fun guy
i can’t see him being actually jealous or anything if he finds out you bias someone else
and so the two of you become insufferable together
bitch, i’m telling you
he (ur bias) is not gonna have one peaceful day ever again in his entire life
cus you know the thing jaemin does where he just looks at someone doing some random shit and goes “oOoOoH sExY”
yes that thing
he’s doing it to your bias 
and you’re doing it too
and your bias probably wants to run away to some very far away land
PLEASE IF IT’S JISUNG
i’m not gonna write this whole thing as if you bias him but let’s just imagine
two fully grown people
pilling on top of poor, poor park jisung playing games on his phone
“URI JISUNGIEEEEEE
MWOYA, MWOYAAAA~"
i genuinely think he would avoid being around you two at the same time
cus individually he can handle it
like yes y/n please let me go this hug has lasted for about 4 minutes now
or oh hi jaemin hyung my cheeks hurt when you pinch them that hard
but when you two are together
bruh
a power couple not bc you two are v confident or some shit but bc you can and will be extremely affectionate towards anyone that comes too close
and now let’s talk about how it would be if you biased jaehyun
jaemin loves jaehyun
they’re 2jae
2jae are soulmates
therefore,,,, it’s also kinda hellish but in a different way???
bc 2jae are on the end of that spectrum about the neos that know how in love the entire world is with them
they’re too powerful
they’re aware of their charm and they do everything they can to rub it in our faces
so the flirting between 2jae and you would be insane
and i mean insane
insane as in even johnny is kinda disgusted tbh bc
they’re doing a photo shoot with the 23 of them for some shit, idk don’t ask me
and of course, you had to tag along
but oh my god you three, please stop calling each other sexy/hot in weird voices now, the staff is staring
there are def rumours the 3 of you are a poly couple lmao
jaehyun denies everything on social media (throwback to saying “no way lol” when we asked if he REALLY slept in the same bed as jungwoo)
but every piece of content there is of you and jaemin or you and jaehyun or just them is so ridiculously flirty
you can bet there are compilations on youtube like 
“y/n being in love with 2jae for 8 minutes heterosexual”
ok i was having way too much fun with that, moving on
i don’t think he’d ever be actually upset about you biasing someone else
he trusts you and treasures you a lot so he doesn’t see the problem in you also appreciating another one of his members
bc gods know he does
he’s a bit in love with everyone so why shouldn’t you be too lol
one time he would feel a bit blue because of it???
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
i think it’s possible he’d turn pouty or whiny or just kinda needy (not in a bad way, he just misses you) when he’s like
done with people
and needs some time away from everything
we know he’s an introvert, even if he acts very, very loud around the boys and it’s honestly just a matter of time until an introvert grows tired of being around humans
it depends on each person, of course, but there’s a 99% chance every once in a while he’ll start to feel too drained
and he’ll need a break to get his energy back
jaemin would probably want you around even when he feels like that, though
i see you being such a big source of comfort for him in a relationship
he enjoys taking care of people so please take care of him too
and for just this one day don’t talk about your bias that much, or don’t leave nana to go over to him to chat
and just cuddle him a lot
that will make him a smiley baby again
and then things are back to how they normally are
and by that i mean most neos hiding from you because they’re scared 
i don’t have a lot to say aside from that so let’s think about the neos that would be the most intimidated by your shared thot aura
dotae would be confused in different ways lol
taeyong would be just ????????????blush/awkward smile/hahaha??????
and doyoung might actually ask what is wrong with you
<points to jeno and his s/o> “why can’t you be like them”
mark would laugh-scream and slap his knee into oblivion whenever you two are cornering him
but then go super shy and be like “dUDE DON’T DO THAT”
resident confident gay jungwoo would rejoice in the attention and make so many goddamned jokes
a literal comedian i love him
i think sicheng and renjun would be on the same wavelength of repugnance towards you lol
chenle would deadass call you weird and tell you to leave him alone
shotaro and kun might faint (or kun will panic-scold you)
taeil is as confused by affection as usual (have you seen the face he makes when haechan kisses him LMFAO he’s smiling but like wondering wtf happened on the inside)
ten is not very amused but might play into it
yangyang: that’s disgusting, man (cue flashbacks to that live with renjun after the from home stage where renjun pretended to lick his hand and slick his hair back,,, catboy injun,,, you know the one)
xiaojun and hendery are such panicked gays they just turn to stare at whoever else is around and make that “help” expression like they’re on the office
haechan is haechan, kinda doesn’t mind it
jeno is used to dealing with this at this point
lucas and yuta love the attention but while yuta will flirt right back lucas is just gonna smile and try to jop his way out of there while screaming
sungchan will go hide behind haechan and say “hyung they’re being dumbasses again”
this turned into ‘how would nct react to you and jaemin being super flirty together’ and i’m not sorry
Chenle
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chenle is so fun to write i love him lmao
okay so
he doesn’t strike me as the possessive type with anyone other than jisung (bc i swear he can be a bit jelly towards his bestie but i think it comes with sungie being the sweetest bean ever, he’s just protective)
he’s such a ray of sunshine and witty jokes and dolphin laughter i love him
back to the plot
he literally couldn’t care less about you biasing someone else
b u t
i will say there’s an exception
this exception is tall, kinda lanky, very awkward and born on the 5th of february
you’ve guessed it, it’s jisung
i think most of the time he’d tease THE SHIT out of you for it because c’mon
you had 22 chances not to mess up
and you still somehow ended up biasing jisung? lol do better next time
and this is not me and chenle hating on jisung, please—
he’d just find it funny that your bias is his best friend and
hold the fuck up
your bias is his best friend
oH NO NO NO NO NO
i think after realizing that he would lowkey try to keep you two apart because he’s somehow jealous of both????
and if he can’t help it then you can bet your ass he will be screaming all along
it’s his sweet, dummy jisung
with his sweeter and dummier y/n
what is he going to do
probably has a mini-breakdown with kun because like he’s always wanted you two to get along bUT NOT LIKE THAT
kun will just sigh like the tired father he is and pet his back while saying “there, there”
and a genius idea is going to come to chenle’s mind
you know the teasing thing?
well it’s upgrade time
he’s gonna turn into such a try-hard with tmi and embarrassing shit you two have done
and he’s not trying to stop you from being friends
he just wants you to like
know who you’re befriending
bc i think since he’s really really close to jisung, he doesn’t want you getting closer to him bc you like his idol side alone
and he doesn’t want jisung getting close to you just because you’re his partner either
if you had high hopes for each other and ended up kinda falling face-first into the ground bc it was nothing like you had imagined—
he’d be so broken
because he loves you so much :((((
so like, if you can get past the teasing and annoying barrier he’s putting up, he’ll be more than happy to have two of the most important people in his life being buddies
so get ready for it
if you’re the type of person to go batshit crazy when you drink, oh boy, oh boy
so you and the dreamies are just having dinner when lele feels like it’s the perfect time to disclose some of your drunken adventures
“hey y/n”
“yeah babe?”
“remember that time you got really really drunk on vodka and candy and wanted to call your mom”
“chenle the hell don’t talk ab—”
“but then you tried using the microwave as a phone”
“...”
“...”
“or that other time you were equally as drunk and watched the make a wish mv and cried because you noticed the height difference between xiaojun hyung and lucas hyung”
yeah so now’s the part you get up to chase him around the dorms and try to land a kick
BUT WORRY NOT, HE’LL MAKE SURE TO EMBARRASS JISUNG JUST AS MUCH
he likes doing that when it’s just the three of you though
so picture this
movie night the girls boys
chenle would 100% pick the most terrifying horror movie he can find so that he could see jisung clinging to whoever’s closest to him
and then right before a jumpscare, he’d whisper like
“jisung”
“w-what”
“why don’t you do that thing you were doing while you slept last night”
(honestly, i’d be mildly scared if i heard lele say this with no context at all)
and then the jumpscare happens and jisung is nearly fainting and crying at the same time
but chenle is laughing
and trying to get out what he wants to tell you between wheezes
“he-he” <dolphin wheeze> “hE WAS SINGING CHEER UP BY TWICE WHILE SLEEPING” <more wheezes>
and look this is just gonna go on for weeks until you and jisung are over it
and stop being weird and awkward around each other
lele needs you two to be bros ok
so be bros
once you do adapt to being pals with your bias i think chenle would take the teasing down a notch just to make you more comfortable
and like he’s so happy now the three of you can hang out and there’s just no tension
happy chenle is the thing i love the most i swear to gods
and if you don’t adapt to it?
well,,,
i honestly think he’d be pretty disappointed, cus it means to him one of you isn’t ready to fully embrace the weirdness within????
and like what u scared of
jisung is a weirdo, what about it, so are you
either that or he’d think you’re maybe being judgemental
so yeah please accept jisungie and your dumbass boyfriend
then everyone can be besties
i love thinking about the three of you as just this hellbound chaotic trio
because chenji already wreak havoc wherever they go as the two of them
but now that you’re coming along,,,,
no neo would escape from your pranks ever again (and even members of other groups lmfao watch out sehun, i’m talking to you)
and it’s so incredible infuriating in a good way that it just turns to be endearing
you’re cute as fuck so no one gets actually mad with the shit you pull????
which is dangerous, someone should really keep an eye out on the three of you 
we don’t need sm to be on fire
well we kinda do cus they’re pretty bad but not my point
i said somewhere above that chenle would tone the teasing down but i don’t mean he’d stop
bc c’mon guys
he’s chenle
no limits here
but sorry, i really cannot write jealous!chenle cus his heart is just too pure and filled with joy for him to be jealous for real
last scenario?
chenle after a comeback stage: ya y/n, i was gonna ask how was my performance today but you were probably more focused on jisung’s arms right
jisung is choking on water somewhere behind you
Jisung
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it’s maknae time <plays i.n’s maknae on top>
i don’t mean to picture jisung as being like
ridiculously innocent or just downright naive because i really dislike it when people do that
he’s a literal 19 yo and jaemin himself has said he’s not as innocent as we think lol
however
i do see him as being quite new to all things love 
i think you’d probably be his first partner and with first relationships comes a lot of other firsts
first kiss maybe, first time holding hands, first time being jealous….
first time being jealous, yes, focus on that
i don’t think jisung would be aware that like
you not biasing him is even a possibility
cuz you’re dating
doesn’t that come along????
ah poor baby i love him
if you biased chenle i think he’d be just
disgusted and weirded out but okay?? you do you i guess???
he’s comfortable enough with lele to not feel intimidated
but if it’s another member
ESPECIALLY one of the oldest ones
i think it would be a blow straight to his confidence 
you biasing ten, kun, taeil, taeyong, doyoung or johnny and maybe yuta would make him feel a bit hesitant and concerned
his first thought would probably be that you don’t like being with someone as young as him
and who knows, maybe you’re even younger than him, maybe you’re the same age, but what if you actually like older guys??
what about him then???
and jisung doesn’t mean to feel so worried and insecure, ok, pls understand where i’m coming from
first relationships normally take like a very long time to build trust and acceptance of the other person’s feelings bc it’s literally a whole new world for you
and that goes extra hard for jisung because he is so fucking whipped for you it’s still hard to believe you like him as much
and it absolutely does not cross his mind that you’d cheat on him with your bias, GODS NO
he really respects you and his hyungs 
so no, never
that’s not a thing that can happen
but you realize you’re too good for him and maybe see he doesn’t fit your ideal type?
well, yes, that’s what he’s thinking
probably goes straight to chenle or renjun (he talks about renjun so much asjahj) to vent and ask for advice
i think they’d be surprised to see what’s going on inside his pretty little head because it’s so obvious for everyone that you just adore jisung
and they do tell him that
however, i don’t think it would completely calm his nerves, and again, this has nothing to do with not trusting you
it’s just that
his hyungs are so cool…
HE CAN’T HELP IT OK
would probably try to mirror your bias (i’m saying it’s taeyong for the sake of what i’ve imagined ok) and like
grasp onto some of his qualities?
so in his mind taeyong is: nice, sweet, caring, amazing, perfect, smart, perfect, sexy, mature and did i mention perfect
i can see him trying some new rap styles that mimic tyong’s a bit???
like would lowkey learn his raps from cherry bomb and superm’s one and listen to recordings frequently to pick up on how taeyong does it
i think he’d also just change the way he acts in general to dodge a bit from his maknae image
so now he tries to speak with a more formal-ish language and learns random facts about things you like to seem more intelligent???
“good morning y/n, you look as beautiful as one of voiello’s paintings today :]”
“wait i thought that was a pasta brand”
he’s just trying to show you he can be mature and serious if you want him to
long story short, he’s not acting like himself (not that he’s childish, he’s just out of it) and you don’t like it, so you ask about it and wait for him to feel comfortable with sharing
when he does talk about it breaks your heart so much :((
you’re going to need some patience to try and show him you’d choose him, and not your bias, even if you had the chance
they’re completely different people and you love him BECAUSE he’s jisung, not for any other reason
please reassure him so he can go back to acting like his authentic self, i think it would be such a relief for him too
your words and affection are obviously enough for him, but if it ever happens that he feels especially low and insecure again, it would help if your bias talks to him too
and taeyong wouldn’t have a problem with it
actually, scratch that, taeyong probably knew what was going on all along
he just has that motherly 7th sense (ay) that is even more acute with the dreamies cus like 
127 has him, wayv has kun, but dream has…
the dreamies
and that, my friend, is terrifying
anyway he’d come to talk to jisung asking like “what’s wrong buddy :(“ and sungie would be a bit ashamed because it sounds so silly when you say it out loud
of course tyong wouldn’t judge him, and he just really has to tell jisung what is it you and he are always talking about
it’s him
“when they come around to talk and hang out here it all goes back to you, jisungie. they can’t spend one second without mentioning your name
it’s so cute; it’s always like ‘oh jisung would love this’ or ‘jisung likes it that way’
so please be kinder to yourself and let yourself see that they’re in love with you, not with me and not with any other member they ever mention”
jisung would feel 10000000% better
and smiley
and giggly
and oh my god do you really talk about him that much
LOOK HE’S BLUSHING
would just go over to your house immediately and hug you, burying his face on your neck from behind you
and not let go
ever again
the whole situation just teaches him a lot about accepting your love for him and not questioning it 
shut up i’m not crying
---
final notes: this was my first work after the humanity series and it was so fun lol i think next up is probs gonna be an ideal type scenario for ot23 (but if i really write it i’m gonna post it by subunit and its gonna be way shorter than this, don’t expect 23K words at once lmao)
if you’ve enjoyed this fic please consider reading my humanity series, which is a zombie apocalypse au with kun <3
333 notes · View notes
krysphycookiez · 4 years
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stray kids | you as the female maknae
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synopsis: you’re the female maknae of the infamous k-pop group stray kids! let’s see how you get along with these eight chaotic boys
genre: fluff, platonic, imagines
pairing: stray kids x maknae!reader
a/n: wowza another female maknae au post- yes i have an obsession with these types of writings and i have no regrets. expect a lot of these extra member au’s for boy groups and girl groups
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you’re his smol baby child and nothing will change his mind
chan just wants you to be happy and he’s really good at showing that, whether he makes sure you’re always healthy or just doing daily check ups on you
if you don’t end up taking care of yourself he’ll get really upset and probably give you a long lecture
one time you actually cried because of his scolding because you felt really bad and he started crying too
if he feels like there’s something up with you and you don’t open up, he usually plans with the other members to do little things to cheer you up
and those plans work all the time
he knows how much you struggle with the idol life because of his own past struggles so he empathizes with you very well
if you’re an english speaking foreigner, he’d be very chaotic with you and felix
but then it eventually just turns into chan being done with you and felix’s bullshit
nags you sometimes but he just wants you to be careful- so for the most part he just lets you be
when your time of the month comes he’s usually the best at handling the situation (jisung i’m looking at you)
he also let’s you mess around with his tracks, but he makes sure you don’t do anything stupid. as you once almost deleted a whole new track
hugs you from behind a lot to remind you that you’re loved and a precious cinnamon roll
he’s a soft leader for you and it’s just downright wholesome
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ngl you had a crush on minho during trainee days, i mean- just look at him for crying out loud
that silly crush soon disappeared and now you see him as a best friend
though hyunjin knew about this past crush and obviously tattled to minho. now you’re his main target for flirting
speaking of flirting, he always tries to make you as flustered as he can cause he just loves your reactions
he also initiates a lot of skinship with you cause you’re like a small teddy bear to him, also he just likes cuddling with you in general
if you’re part of the danceracha, you and him would start a lot of weird shit with hyunjin and felix
hell even if you aren’t part of that sub-unit you still find a way to cause chaos with minho
also you ask about his cats all the time cause you love them a lot, and that just boosts his cocky attitude even more
he gets very possessive of you when it comes to your guy’s friendship
cause he’s the type to say “no one outside of stray kids is allowed to talk or even look at you”
ofc he’s joking though lmao
you two are like an old married couple. a lot of bickering goes on between the two of you and that just becomes the butt of stray kids inside jokes
and both of you are very petty with each other too. like- you know when your little sibling hits you so you hit them back? yeah that’s the two of you
overall both of you have a really strong friendship, and other people get jealous of it pretty easily, even stray kids themselves
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you took felix’s spot as changbin’s favorite member overtime
he’s your number one hype boi, he always gets pumped up whenever you do something like singing or rapping cause he’s amazed by your talent
probably let’s you toy with side soundtracks so he can see your production skills
overtime you have gotten better because of him, and you’re very grateful for that
he does a lot of aegyo with you cause he just loves you so much, and he also hugs you a lot too
you tease him about this height but he reminds you that you’re shorter and this leads to bickering
also since he’s not the shortest he probably rests his elbow on your head to tick you off or to get a reaction out of you
most of the time he gets a fist to the stomach but it’s still worth it
he also makes sure you aren’t overworking yourself, even if he’s one of the more busy members
if you’re feeling down the drain he buys you some of your favorite food and snacks to cheer you up, and it works for the most part
because of the attention he gives you, felix sometimes starts petty fights with you and the other members get easily amused by this. especially changbin himself
you also just find a lot of comfort within him cause he’s really gentle with you
and because he smells good all the time too lol
changbin is an equivalent to an emotional support dog. loving and very energetic
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the two of you are l o u d asf
hence why you and hyunjin aren’t allowed to share a room together anymore. you had a laptop in your shared room and you guys would watch horror movies that would scare the living shit out of y’all
hyunjin likes to take you on shopping dates so both of you can either eat something together or go on a shopping spree
and mini fashion shows start too lmao, he probably gives you like a million clothes to put on
if you’re one of the main dancers, he’s the reason why you are able to dance as well as you can today. cause you felt close to giving up but then he came in and encouraged you to keep going
during his trainee days, his fights with jisung would scare you. one day it got so bad you started crying cause you didn’t want them to hurt each other
they then realized what they did and hyunjin was the first to apologize, even buying you your favorite drink to make up for it
he tries to steal your attention from minho and that almost results in his deathbed
no one’s stopping this boy from doing anything to get your love and attention tho
whenever you guys aren’t together you text a lot, and you guys send each other cute memes in the process
you guys are just like north and south you can’t stand to be away from each other
he also loves to cuddle with you. whenever you get a nightmare you usually turn to him to sleep with so you can feel the comfort of his loving arms
the other members know about this and they get jealous of that sometimes
hyunjin sees you as the little sister he never knew he needed, and he just wants you to have the best possible life he can offer you
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let’s be real here, jisung probably didn’t know how to talk to you during trainee days cause he thought you were really pretty
he’s never basked in the beauty of someone so elegant before
the only time you guys really started talking to each other was in the skz survival show, and in that span of time you two grew extremely close (and if you ended up getting eliminated he’d get really sad)
he’s scared to let you into his production studio cause he’s scared that your clumsy ass would do something, but you never really do anything
if you speak english you two probably have weird conversations in english. quoting vines and inside jokes
on break days he takes you out to get boba and just chat, and usually in the morning when it’s less busy and more peaceful
he lets you take his hoodies cause he thinks you look adorable in them, and also when you give them back to him they smell like daisies
if you get hurt in any way, shape or form he gets very upset cause he really doesn’t like seeing you in pain
one time he caught you crying to yourself because of hate comments directed towards you and his heart shattered
he actually ended up tearing up himself and offered to buy you something to make you feel better
if you’re one of the main vocalists you and him probably have high note competitions, since the two of you probably had iconic high note parts
you also pinch his cheeks a lot cause you like how he just looks like a cute squirrel
which results in him pinching you back
jisung would cherish you like treasure since you’re so valuable to him, and you’re one of the reasons he’s able to keep going in his harsh idol life
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a few simple words to sum up your friendship; a cacophony of chaos and screaming
you and felix just have the weirdest but at the same time also one of the strongest friendships in stray kids
if you’re a foreigner the friendship is even stronger, cause you two can relate more easily, and ESPECIALLY if you’re an english speaking one
also if you’re australian like him, the chaos is just even worse. a bunch of australian slangs here and there as well as saying inside jokes
he definitely texts you at 3am to talk about something he thought of or just to send you stupid memes
also probably infected you with his dabbing and fortnite phase
you also probably tease him about his sexy moments on stage, like when he lifted up his shirt. which also made you want to see his abs again
to get back at you he lifted your shirt on stage in front of STAYs to show your own abs and everyone went crazy, and he ended up getting his ass kicked
you two are also like emotional support for each other
since you guys are some of the youngest and had some of the hardest times you know when somethings up, so you two just go and hug/cuddle with each other to let the other one know it’s okay
and you’ve also come up with a way to communicate with each other without the other members knowing to talk about personal things, like a secret language
and if you didn’t have supportive parents in the idol life, felix would automatically connect with you cause he went through something similar
this guy just also wants you to feel safe and loved cause he knows what it’s like to feel so alone
overall you and felix are like two peas in a pod, very alike in many ways but will turn to each other for emotional support or just to feel better
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dandy boy seungmin is such a little shit around you
he always teases you and always finds a way to tick you off to see your reactions, such as playing with your hair or stealing your clothes
so you being the petty little bitch you are, you do some things that will trigger his pet peeves, like make a room dirty or not doing chores
and that’s how you developed your evil maknae side, all because of this devil puppy
but even then the bickering isn’t always that bad, that’s just how you two show your love for each other since you guys literally don’t know how to be nice to each other
unless it’s about food or games, then there’s civil acts going on
seungmin actually likes to hug you because you’re like a smol baby chick, but it never really goes further than that
INSULT BATTLES ALL THE DAMN TIME
and it’s usually seungmin who wins them, but when you do win them it’s always a very witty victory
seungmin also knows when something’s up with you. if you suddenly stop acting like a savage around him he knows something is up
so he then investigates, comforts you and caves in to take you out to the mall to make you feel better
he doesn’t think he’s helping that much when those times come to you but he actually helps a lot, cause he gives of this comforting aura that makes you feel safe
also he smells like roses too lmao
seungmin is your pretty and bitchy best friend, but at the end of the day he will always be there for you
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the two of you are the; done with everyone’s shit duo, at least when the two of you aren’t causing chaos
you and jeongin are very close in age, so naturally all of the members baby you and while the attention is endearing, it can get out of hand sometimes
so the two of you team up to pull the ultimate pranks on all of the members to get back at them and record all of their reactions
of course this results in scoldings and getting chased by an angry hyunjin holding a broom but it’s still worth it
both of you also compete for who can get more attention if you aren’t getting tired of it
and this can also lead to petty bickering that the other members watch in amusement (and they probably fucking grabbed popcorn too)
jeongin has a good sense of judgement, so he knows when the mood is feeling down
and he usually drags you to the side to plan a way to cheer up the members or bring up a lighthearted mood, since he knows the two of you would make a good plan
he doesn’t really like skinship but he finds it cute when you hug him or hold his arm
and the other members get pressed about this cause you’re allowed to hold his arm but they can’t even touch him with their fingernails
both of you have definitely tried to cook together
and fail miserably, which resulted in MORE scoldings and a temporary banishment from the kitchen, but the way you guys cooked was very funny
you made him a smoothie to make up for the fact that you got him banned from the kitchen cause it was mainly your fault
jeongin would be a more chill and laid-back friend, but he’s still very caring for you and will protect you at all costs
a/n: waeeeee another one done! i had a lot of fun writing this and i hope you guys enjoy it as much as i had fun writing it.
also lee felix get your sexy ass off of my twitter feed i don’t feel like simping
this is @/krysphycookiez logging off... ♡︎
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rkived · 4 years
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drabble #2: pediatricsurgeon!jk is sure he only has a tiny crush on generalsurgeon!reader, but neurosergeon!taehyung makes him face the reality of how big that little crush actually is.
or, in which, hypothetically speaking, would jungkook mind you going on a date with obgyn!jimin? (hospitalplaylist!au) 
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‘‘Yeah, yeah,’’ Taehyung spoke, rolling his eyes as he makes his way to seat next to Jungkook, who was having his dinner.
And by dinner, it’s the microwavable Top Ramen his office’s pantry is filled with.
He opens his mouth, finger pointing at it as the silent request for Jungkook to feed him ‘‘No, I mean─’’
He does and now Taehyung’s mouth is stuffed with noodles, interrupting his conversation as he mumbles the last of his words, though they’re incoherent.
‘‘Mph─?” he garbles “I’m having dinner.’’ he answers after swallowing and Jungkook stifles a laugh at his annoyed expression, he can’t tell if Taehyung’s unpleased with the person on the phone or with his mischievous action ‘‘What? No! I’m having dinner at work.’’
By the way he’s speaking, the pediatrician figures out who his friend’s talking to. 
‘‘Yoonah?’’ Jungkook mouths and Taehyung nods, there’s a glimmer of annoyance in his eyes. 
Taehyung huffs, switching the phone to his other hand as he takes Jungkook’s chopsticks to feed himself more noodles ‘‘Okay, y’know what? I’ll call you later, babe.’’ and the neurosurgeon's girlfriend is not allowed to answer back because Taehyung has already ended the call, putting his personal phone on airplane mode and placing it on one of his lab coat’s pockets.
He groans, exhausted. Taehyung never looked like this, not even after a big surgery. Jungkook doesn’t even make an effort to take his chopsticks and ramen back. 
‘‘You should break up with her already.’’ Jungkook casually advices and it’s obvious this is isn’t the first time the topic has been discussed. 
Taehyung shakes his head slightly, cheeks stuffed with noodles and the pediatrician wants to squeeze them for the fun of it, but his friend’s annoyed so Jungkook might just get it. 
Taehyung swallows and he sighs ‘‘I’m too old to date again,’’ he explains and Jungkook prepares himself to hear his friend’s excuse for the upteenth time ‘‘and Yoonah is a pain in the ass, but she puts up with me. I have to meet her halfway.’’
Jungkook knows it’s not because of that.
Taehyung isn’t old, but once he turned thirty he had deemed himself ancient. The neurosurgeon even cried while they all sang him the ‘happy birthday’ song. 
Also, Yoonah is a twenty-two-year-old model and she’s pretty, so there’s that.
‘‘You should mind your business,’’ Taehyung spoke ‘‘you’re old too, yet your ass is single.’’ 
Jungkook did get it after all.
‘‘I’m not old, I’m still in my twenties.’’ Jungkook argued and his friend laughed out loud enough to be heard by the passer-bys outside the pediatrician’s office. 
‘‘Barely,’’ Taehyung replied after calming down ‘‘you’ll be thirty in a few months, say goodbye to your youth.’’ he says this bitterly, like he resents the natural aging a human has to go through. 
The pediatrician sighs, eyes closed ‘‘Taehyung, turning thirty does not equal to being old, in fact, thirty is the new twenty!’’ 
He read that somewhere, probably one of those lame Facebook posts that definitely a thirty-year old wrote to makes themselves feel better. Taehyung’s thirty-two so he can attest that that’s not true at all. 
‘‘Anyway, right now I’m focused on my career,’’ Jungkook continues ‘‘I can think about settling down later.’’ 
Taehyung hums, unimpressed ‘‘Fine, die alone then.’’ 
The familiar ringtone of Jungkook’s phone is the conversation ender between the two. Jungkook smiles lightly at the way your name displays on the screen. 
Taehyung chuckles ‘‘Or don’t.’’
Jungkook ignores him and answers his phone with a chirpy tone ‘‘Hey, you coming?’’ he asks and he can hear papers being stacked in the background, he guesses you’re rearranging stuff in your office like you always tend to do once a week, apparently it brings you sanity. 
‘‘Yeah, in like, ten minutes’’ you say and Jungkook knows you’ll be right on time, he hopes he’s still here by then. 
You’ve been a little too busy lately and he’s been unable to have a face-to-face conversation these days, coincidentally falling on a time where he’s fully aware of his tiny crush on you. 
Maybe it’s a good thing, but now he goes stupid whenever he bumps into you around the hospital’s hallways because he’s not mentally prepared when he sees you. He’s never able to fully explain why he stumbles over his words when this happens.
You hang up, explaining you need to finish something up before you’re able to stop by his office and Jungkook doesn’t let you know he already knows what you’re doing, instead telling you he’ll wait for your arrival.
‘‘Ah, Namjoon was right,’’ Taehyung speaks up ‘‘this is serving me Med School vibes.’’ 
‘‘You’re thirty-two, please don’t talk like that.’’ Jungkook reminds him, there’s a whine in his voice and he physically cringes at his friend’s usage of the new slang terms.
Taehyung frowns ‘‘Thought I was young.’’ 
‘‘This is not Med School, alright?’’ the pediatrician clarifies, standing up from his place on the couch to take the finished Top Ramen his friend had ate for him and throwing it in the trash ‘‘I am mature now, I can control my emotions better.’’ he guarantees.
‘‘Oh yeah?’’ Taehyung retorts and Jungkook nods, he seems sure of himself ‘‘So, let’s say that─hypothetically speaking─Jimin asks Y/N out on a date and she said yes, would you get upset?’’
Jungkook hums ‘‘OBGYN Park Jimin?’’ he asks and Taehyung nods ‘‘Hypothetically speaking, he doesn’t have a chance on going on a date with her.’’ he answers with a tight lipped smile.
‘‘Hypothetically speaking, why not?’‘ Taehyung prods. 
The pediatrician scoffs, thinking this conversation was absurd and quickly taking another direction ‘‘Because, hypothetically speaking, Y/N is out of his league,’’ he entertains the idea anyway ‘‘and yes, that includes medical fields.’’ 
Taehyung stands up abruptly ‘‘Okay, pause, are you trying to say that bringing a baby into the world is lesser than a common surgery? Where does that place me then?”
‘‘Hypothetically speaking.’’ Jungkook says through gritted teeth ‘‘Why are you bringing that up, anyway?’’ he asks because even though Taehyung always talked about the randomest shit, it always made sense in the end. 
His friend shrugs his shoulders, like there’s no particular reason ‘‘I don’t know, maybe Jimin’s interested,’’ he teases ‘‘maybe not.’’ 
Jungkook’s heartbeat races up and he’s come to understand why Namjoon gave him that diagnosis a few weeks back. 
He’s nervous. 
---
By the time you stop by, Taehyung’s long gone having already lit the match, but not bothering to wait and watch it burn. 
You so kindly came with an iced americano for him and a small cupcake to indulge yourself in, a small reward for the succesful surgery you had done earlier that day.
Jungkook is trying to listen to you explain to him what the process was like, but your words sound like an echo in his head instead. He can’t help but to think about Taehyung’s stupid—but valid—hypothetical situation.
Well, he’s sure he’s not madly in love with you. Like, he hasn’t reached that level—yet. If anything, this crush is a ‘I think you’re really pretty and smart and nice and sweet and cool’ sort of crush.
Fuck, this is actually giving him Med School vibes too.
“Would you go out on a date with Park Jimin?” he interjects and his brain is yelling at him, perhaps he should seek Taehyung’s help next “Hypothetically speaking.” he adds once he notices the raise of your eyebrow.
You cross your arms over your chest, glancing somewhere else “Uhm,” you really don’t know what to answer, thinking that entertaining Jungkook’s out of the blue questions usually don’t end up well “I don’t know—I guess?”
“Hypothetically speaking, right?” Jungkook asks, but it sounds like he’s begging for you to tell him that the situation would never happen.
“Sure,” you shrug “he seems like a nice guy.”
Jungkook tries not to yell in frustration.
There’s no backstory to him and the OBGYN. The pediatrician only resents the fact that Jimin had become residents’s favorite doctor, taking Jungkook’s spotlight away. He had made peace with it, there was something about that guy that was indeed charming.
But now, this opens up the possibility of you being on Jimin’s league. He tries not to let Taehyung’s words affect him, but what if the OBGYN really is interested?
Jungkook knows his neurosurgeon friend and the bright smile guy get along quite well, have caught them eating together at the hospital’s cafeteria more than once.
Does...does this mean Jungkook has competition? Is he actually going to have to do something about this tiny —not so tiny— crush?
A lightbulb pops over Jungkook’s head instead “Hypothetically speaking, would you go out on a date with me?”
“Okay, what’s up with you?” there’s laughter in your tone and Jungkook doesn’t like the way you can’t seem to take him seriously.
“Y/N!” he whines “just answer, it’s hypothetical anyway.” Yeah, hypothetical.
You sigh, there’s a level of patience you have to have for dealing with him. You’ve studied it and have learnt it for the past decade and few years of being friends with him. Yet, you still have to prepare yourself every time.
“Are we friends in this hypothetical context?” you ask and he narrows his eyes at you, does that change your answer? He nods anyway “Mmm, yeah, sure.”
Jungkook wants to yell in excitement now, but he’ll wait for when he’s in the privacy of his home.
He’s in your league too, then!
He can’t help but smile anyway, but you mistake it with him making fun of you, because this is something he could possibly use to embarrass you later on.
“You’re so weird.” you mumble, drifting your gaze somewhere else as if to hide from him.
You make a mental note to threaten him about not revealing this information to any of your friends later on. Right now, it’s actually sort of cute seeing his bunny-like smile.
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a/n: i be like “don’t be shy, write some more :)” kssjsjsjsj [roblox death sound] n e way here’s some more pediatrician!jk x gs!reader for y’all this is purely self indulgent at this point but u know what ??? i am at peace with that
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hypmic-translation · 4 years
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Naniwa Paradise Sake
CHORUS Down your glass and sing along This is Osaka drunkenness Division shit One drink, two drinks; it all tastes good No, I still haven’t had enough yet Naniwa-nyway, let’s keep on singing (1) Any division compared to ours is all full of shit Merrymaking; idle gossip The sunrise brings proof of our drinking spree Dotsuitare Honpo shit
SASARA Osaka Division’s formation celebration ROSHO Naniwa’s neon lights are looming overhead (2) SASARA The truth is, it’s difficult to know where to go REI How ‘bout a night of mistakes around Chayamachi? (3) SASARA Having a lively talk about nothing important is Nurude Sasara and his merry band of friends ROSHO Passing through Ame-mura, noisily wasting time (4) REI Crossing that border brings you into a new world SASARA Okonomi! (5) ROSHO Kushikatsu! (6) REI This is the nation’s kitchen (7) SASARA Let’s have a toast! Count to ten, if ya please REI Hey, we only just got here ROSHO That was very sudden (8) SASARA Our suddenly-formed team is sure to run into trouble It’s not really worth much, but I still wanna thank you (9) Us three are the best! SASASA/REI Cheers to that! SASARA We’ll be champions! ROSHO Yeah, champions of flour-food (10) ALL Those eastern divisions aren’t such a big deal (11)
CHORUS Down your glass and sing along This is Osaka drunkenness Division shit One drink, two drinks; it all tastes good No, I still haven’t had enough yet Naniwa-nyway, let’s keep on singing Any division compared to ours is all full of shit Merrymaking; idle gossip The sunrise brings proof of our drinking spree Dotsuitare Honpo shit
REI Alcohol is the best medicine around Kill the beat, make some noise, 108 desires in all (12) Word games are just instances of luck So it’s been decided, I’m tonight’s designated driver Irregular noise, a gold driver’s license (13) In our own private world, go straight Don’t drink if you drive, don’t drive if you drink (14) You’re only allowed to ride this track tonight
ROSHO Drank so much saké that I can’t stop laughing Stuck here in the same boat as this crook (15) Authority and wolves both will be forced to bow down (16) (24) Rivalry naturally gets me fired up (hic!) REI In simpler words, chop end-roll (17) ROSHO We’re gonna climb to the very top of this thing SASARA Aren’t you raring to go, Rosho~ Hm? ROSHO Huh? SASARA Oh, it’s your eyes? They don’t seem focused?
CHORUS Down your glass and sing along This is Osaka drunkenness Division shit One drink, two drinks; it all tastes good No, I still haven’t had enough yet Naniwa-nyway, let’s keep on singing Any division compared to ours is all full of shit Merrymaking; idle gossip The sunrise brings proof of our drinking spree Dotsuitare Honpo shit
REI Without following trends we’re burning through spirits (18) Instead of chilling at home, this is the DH way SASARA Wholeheartedly playing around? Overdrinking Chamisul, the Makgeolli’s here! (19) REI Before dawn arrives we’ll keep emptying shot glasses Quietly smoking cigars with unsteady hands Celebrating life is us nightwalkers C’mon, until the morning sun rises, let’s go SASARA Drinking a lil too much turns into a touching memory ROSHO It’s always the same with you, isn’t it (20) The good and the bad, all of it bare (21) We’ll find a clear solution to that centre party for a one-shot, one-kill (22) SASARA I don’t like rock as much as hip-hop, yanno Once the beer gets here I’m gonna gulp it all down with a “bang!” and a “boom!” ROSHO Hold on! What are you talking about! SASARA This was all un-alcohoidable! (23) ROSHO The hell are you saying? Whatever, that’s enough! I’m done here!
CHORUS Down your glass and sing along This is Osaka drunkenness Division shit One drink, two drinks; it all tastes good No, I still haven’t had enough yet Naniwa-nyway, let’s keep on singing Any division compared to ours is all full of shit Merrymaking; idle gossip The sunrise brings proof of our drinking spree Dotsuitare Honpo shit
NOTES (Under the read-more because they got very long!)
I’m so sorry for this one, but it was the only way I could think to incorporate the joke here organically. The line reads “ナニワともあれ歌いましょ (naniwa tomoare utaimasho)”, Naniwa being Osaka’s original name, as well as the name of one of its wards. The pun here is that “naniwa tomoare” sounds a lot like “何はともあれ (naniha-tomoare)”, which means “at any rate/in any case”, so a more literal translation would be “regardless, Naniwa, let’s sing”.
A more literal translation of “looming all around” would be “forward-bent posture”.
Chayamachi is a popular downtown district among young people in Osaka’s Kita ward. The shops there sell various kinds of food, fashion and forms of amusement.
“Ame-mura” or “Amerikamura” (American Village) is another one of Osaka’s popular entertainment areas, this time in their Chuuo ward. Has many Western fashion retail shops, bars, and nightclubs.
“Okonomi”, short for okonomiyaki, which is Sasara’s favourite food. “Okonomi” on its own means “how/what you want” while “yaki” is “cooked”, so altogether it’s “cooked how you want”, referring to it’s versatile fillings. I think this is probably supposed to be a pun, but I wasn’t sure how to reflect that and Rosho carries on with the food naming anyway, so I went more literal here.
Kushikatsu is deep-fried meat and vegetables on skewers. Its origins can be found in Osaka, and both it and okonomiyaki are popular there.
Osaka was once called “the kitchen of the nation” during the Edo period, where many different kinds of food from all over Japan gathered due to the city being a warehouse and trading port.
This is a nice example of how these three use wordplay very effectively - Sasara says “ten-count”, written in katakana. Rei uses a word that can be read as “ten” (but isn’t, in this case) and Rosho does the same with “count”. Likewise in the line following, although Sasara doesn’t use the same word for “sudden” he does use onomatopoeia that essentially means the same thing, bringing the joke full circle.
“碌でもない” means “good for nothing/worthless”. “後光がさしてる” means “to be very thankful towards someone” (enough to make them look like an angel with a halo). I’m not sure I got the meaning of what Sasara’s saying exactly right, but this is how I’m interpreting it. I didn’t pick up on this myself, but someone pointed out to me how this section is in itself a count-down from ten - Rei and Rosho say 10 and 9 respectively, and then Sasara incorporates the rest of the numbers into his lines from 8 to 1. I have no idea how to make that look good in English though...
“Flour-food” refers to how most classic Osakan foods such as okonomiyaki and takoyaki are made with flour.
“Aren’t such a big deal” is more literally read as “how much is monjayaki worth” (なんぼのもんじゃい), the answer being “not much”.
“Kill the beat” (apparently a common phrase in breakdancing referring to being able to skillfully stay on rhythm) and “make some noise” are two different sentences in this line, but they both include a use of the word “hame” (はめ/ハメ) which, when put next to each other, is slang for “having sex”. “108 desires in all” is a reference to the Buddhist belief that humans have a total of 108 “worldly desires”, or polluted thoughts. “Worldly desires” is usually written as “煩悩”, however Rei uses “欲望” which also means desire but in a lustful sense.
A gold driver’s license is what you can get if you’re a “safe driver” in Japan with a standard license (you get points for driving violations, so only people with 0 points can get gold). Apparently these can occasionally get you discounts in hotels and shops.
This is apparently a popular slogan in Japan in order to discourage drunk driving, and according to one source I saw while investigating it’s been in use for over 30 years.
“Stuck in the same boat” is my loose interpretation of “呉越同舟”, which is the concept of working with someone you consider an enemy in order to achieve a common goal.
Rosho says “okami” twice in this line - or at least that’s how it sounds. The first is “okami (御上)” and means “authority”, so referring to the government/Chuuoku. The second is “ookami (狼)” which literally just means wolf, likely referencing Matenrou as the 1st Division Battle winners.
This gave me agony for ages, and to be entirely sure I’m still not sure if it’s right, but whatever. Tell me if you have a better alternative. I’m choosing to interpret “chop end-roll” as “cutting off before the end of a movie”, as “end-roll” in Japanese is how you refer to end credits, so I guess what Rei’s saying is basically “we’re finishing this now”. Also he uses “言の葉” for “words” which is also the name for the Party of Words - but he doesn’t actually say “party (党)” so I don’t think he was referring to them.
“Spirits” being liquors.
Chamisul and Makgeokki are both Korean alcoholic drinks. Also, I was informed that the line “Makgeokki’s here” (”Makkori ga kuru”) sounds a lot like “Maddotorigākurū”, which is “Mad Trigger Crew”.
So this gets interesting. The things Rosho says in both this and the next line are slurred, which gives them a double meaning - he’s saying one thing, but what they sound like are alcohol puns. In this case, “always/frequently (shotchū)” sounds like “shōchū”, which is a kind of Japanese liquor.
Here, “good and (iimo)” sounds like “potato (imo)”, which is something you can make alcohol out of. The same goes for “bare (mukidashi)”, the first half of which sounds like “wheat (mugi)”.
I’m a little vague on this one so take it with a pinch of salt. Rosho says “チュー輩” which is “chuu” and then “party”. “Chuu” isn’t exactly “Chuuo” and “輩” is the kanji for neither “political party” nor “ward”, but considering how drunk he is here I’m willing to believe he’s referencing Chuuoku. You’re free to correct me if I’m wrong though, I’m still very unsure.
Again, I’m really sorry for this. The joke here is that Sasara says “酒ては通れない (sakete wa tōrenai)”, which… doesn’t really mean anything sensical, but literally something like “alcohol can’t pass”. However, it sounds almost identical to “避けて通れない (sakete tōrenai)” which means “unavoidable”. So… un-alcohoidable. Haha.
Bonus fun fact; “okami” is also a reading of the obscure kanji “龗”, which (basically) means “water dragon”. However, as with most kanji, “龗” has multiple readings, one of which (kan-on) has it read as “rei”, just like “零” (Rei’s name). I don’t think it’s necessarily relevant to the song because of the obscurity, but it is an interesting tidbit.
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Drew Stars Around My Scars
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Hello, hey, hi there. It’s raining, I’ve already lost track of the number of times I’ve listened to Taylor Swift’s new album and haven’t written anything in weeks. Until now! Thanks, Taylor Swift. And @optomisticgirl​​​ who reblogged this post a few days ago from @initiala​​​ about how Killian holding Emma in 3x22 isn’t just that he’s trying to comfort her, but he’s trying to make sure she didn’t disappear. 
Which, like...ok, cool. Anyway, I have thought about this for far too long now and started slamming on keys when the kittens weren’t sitting on my laptop and here’s like 4.1K that may or may not make sense, but at least includes some scathing opinions of Back to the Future. Also, thanks to @shireness-says​​​ for always being like...yeah, I want to read that. 
-----
She sniffles. 
She can’t seem to stop. 
Tears stream down Emma’s face without much thought because thinking too much is a daunting obstacle that she can’t even begin to consider yet. Or ever. Definitely ever. Another sniffle, this one actually making her cough somehow, which is a bodily reaction she was not aware she was capable of. 
Until right now. 
When everything seems to be falling apart around her. 
God, she hates time travel. And magic. And evil queens. And parents who can’t recognize her. She supposes she should give them a pass. For a variety of reasons, least of all the magic that’s cloaking both her and Kill—no, that’s not right. Hook. Captain Hook. He’s Captain Hook and she’s still not a princess, but the dancing was almost nice and he hadn’t even slowed down before he was drawing his sword and the jacket spin was something even her muddled thoughts have been able to cling to, so—
He’d held onto her while her mother burned. Tightly. Almost too much. 
Emma nearly trips over a tree root. 
“Shit,” she breathes, pressing the pads of her fingers into damp cheeks. Her dress is too long. Maybe she’ll mention that to Rumplestilskin later. 
Once they get home. 
Back to Storybrooke. Those are not interchangeable words. None of this is interchangeable. 
Even the trees around Emma look different than the ones she only vaguely remembers from her last jaunt through the Enchanted Forest, taller and a little more imposing, like they’re also aware that she’s one good sniffle away from falling off the metaphorical edge. 
Directly into a chasm without magic or parents and she didn’t even get to talk to Mary—
“Nope,” Emma says entirely to herself. So, it seems insanity is looming just a bit closer than she realized. “Not here.”
Or ever. There’s that phrase again. Two words, technically. 
Two words probably don’t constitute a phrase. 
What does she know, she didn’t graduate college. Or high school, technically. 
“Literally,” Emma mumbles, and it’s almost impressive how that one word still manages to sound as loud as it does. As if it’s bouncing off the sides of those same tall and decidedly imposing trees. “Literally didn't graduate high school.”
Something snaps behind her. 
There are far too many twigs on this forest floor. 
Spinning on the balls of her feet, Emma’s hands fly up, only one of her wrists cracking in the process, and it’s difficult to make out the face moving towards her, but the set of his shoulders is exactly the same as always and that cannot possibly have any deeper meaning. 
“Swan?” “God, fuck what are you—” Emma is out of breath. That’s absurd. And a rather unfair commentary on her lungs ability to function. She’s had something of a day, after all. Running a hand over her face, she does her best to retain her higher brain functions, but that’s admittedly difficult when there’s moonlight gleaming from the point of Killian’s sword. 
Captain Hook. 
Captain. Hook. 
Maybe the state of her lungs is partially his fault. He really held on very tightly. 
“What are you doing out here?” Emma manages to get out, once she’s taken another pitiful breath. She hopes her lips don’t start to chap. There’s probably not an easy remedy for that in the goddamn Enchanted Forest. 
Hook gapes at her. 
She grits her teeth. And regrets the state of her knees. They keep wobbling under her, traitors to her emotional cause and the state of several body parts aside from her obviously failing lungs. Whatever’s happening in the general vicinity of her heart seems unstable. 
Erratic, even. 
“Making sure you’re alright,” Hook says like it’s obvious, and it almost is. Almost. What another piece of garbage word. “You’ve been—” Shaking his head once, the ends of his hair don’t move as much as normal, and Emma flinches when he sheaths his sword. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright, that’s all.” Emma is going to lie. She is. Has every intention of letting the word fine pass through her lips, but those lips open without any sound coming out at all and Hook’s eyebrows jump. 
“Thank you.” “Excuse me?” “Thank you,” Emma repeats, finally giving into the urge of her knees and, if nothing else, the length of this dress makes it easier to sit on one of these overly large tree roots. Hook’s eyebrows don’t move. “Should have, uh—should have mentioned that before, probably.” “Thanking me?” “What part of this is confusing for you?” “Quite a bit, in fact,” he admits, and he doesn’t sit, but he also doesn’t look away from her and Emma is pleasantly surprised to find she almost sort of likes it. Almost. Again. 
Letting out a breath that she wishes sounded more like a laugh than it does, Emma’s tongue darts out. “Shit, that..well, that sucks, doesn’t it?” His eyes widen. “That’s not a euphemism,” Emma adds. “Just out of place slang.” “You might have to be more specific, love.”
“That’s fair. I—ok, stuff sucking is...well, it just means that stuff is...not great. Like right now, you know...things are—” She shrugs. And tries to smile. It fails spectacularly. 
Emma sniffles again. 
“Not great?” Hook ventures, and he has to readjust his sword to sit next to her. 
“Less than ideal.”
“You’ve been gone for nearly half an hour. I was worried something had happened.” “Hence the sword.” “Never want to be too careful. And you’re—” “—At least capable of still punching people,” Emma argues, not sure why she’s doing that exactly, but it feels like a matter of pride at this point. She exhales loudly. “But, uh...it’s nice that you came out here. I’m sorry that you had to do that too.” They both hear the words for what they aren’t — vast and a little overwhelming, and time travel is so overrated. Emma can’t believe what a popular fictional trope it is. Snow White was never supposed to die. The ends of Hook’s lips twitch, but he doesn’t actually smile, and that’s actually nice and maybe that’s her biggest issue. 
Everything about him has been so goddamn nice. 
He was much better at dancing than she expected him to be. 
And he keeps following her. She doesn’t mind that. 
Might even—
No. Not now. Not yet. Or ever. Again. God. 
“It’s not a problem, love.”
Emma swallows. Nods. Tries not to fall over that ledge. “I just...needed some time to think, I guess. Is that dramatic?” “No. And suggesting it sucks does have a certain charm to it.” “And you know all about charming, don’t you?” His left eyebrow arches. Some things never change, she supposes. Emma focuses on that. And not how she’s fairly certain she can feel waves of heat rolling off him, even with the few inches between them. Possibly a foot. She’s not great at estimating measurements. 
Or much else, it seems. 
That’s a far too depressing thought, though. 
“I believe I’ll leave that particular moniker to others in the party,” Hook says softly, sitting down. “Would you like to talk about it?” “Which part?” “Dealer’s choice.” “That one crossed realms, huh?”
“Some sayings know no bounds,” Hook smirks, and whatever sound Emma makes at that is even closer to a laugh than the last one. She takes that as a positive. “None of this is your fault.” “Practice that a few more times and it might sound more legitimate.” “Swan, that’s—” “—No, no, no,” Emma objects, not standing up, but she shakes her head quickly enough that strands of hair slap at either one of her cheeks. A few of them stick there. Probably because of the tears she can’t seem to stop. “All of this is my fault. I—I should have waited for help with the portal and everything I’ve done here has only made it worse and—” Another sigh, dragging her hand over her cheek. “—Fuck Marty McFly. And Doc Brown. It was so weird that they were friends, why didn’t anyone ever explain that?” “Did they not?” “No, not once. We were just supposed to accept that Marty met some senior citizen inventor guy who was more than willing to steal dangerous chemicals—” “—And he wasn’t a wizard?” “No, he wasn’t a wizard. No magic in the real world.” Or me, Emma thinks bitterly, but that’s not going to help the situation anymore than her current rambling, and she can’t seem to stop rambling. “But Marty and Doc hung out all the time. And Jennifer didn’t even think it was weird.” “Who is Jennifer, exactly?” “Marty’s girlfriend, I guess, but it always seemed like they were just starting to date at the beginning of the movie and then they got married. Just like that. You think they went to the same college or something? Like once Marty left—shit I can’t remember the name of the town.” Hook hums, a sound Emma can’t actually cling to any more than she can hold the one positive thing that has happened to her in the last twenty-four hours in her hands. It is not lost on her that both of them have to do with the man sitting next to her. 
Or how quickly his fingers keep fluttering over the hilt of his sword. 
“How far do you think we are from Aurora and Philip’s...land?” Emma asks. “Is that the right way to say that? Did they have a land?” “I believe the word you’re looking for is kingdom.” “Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Should have known that.” “That’s not your fault either.” “You’re really harping.” “Playing a symphony, it seems.” She laughs. She does. It’s not that loud, and there’s a distinctly watery edge to it, the muscles in Emma’s face aching when she manages to smile, but she’s having a difficult time coming to terms with the dexterity of Killian’s eyebrows and her hand moves before she thinks about it. 
The metal is cool under her skin, a smooth surface that she can drag her thumb across. Which is exactly what she does, an attempt to ground herself and remind her that she’s still here when she isn’t entirely positive she’s supposed to be. 
Hook doesn’t move. Might not breathe, if the state state of his shoulders is any indication and Emma hadn’t realized she was in possession of so many opinions regarding Captain Hook’s shoulders. Or her ability to recognize them. 
No matter what, it seems. 
“While it may appear that I know everything—” “—Ok, I never said that.” Hook’s smirk grows more pronounced. “I was in Neverland for quite some time, and the boundaries of some of the Enchanted Forest kingdoms changed in the last hundred or so years. But,” he adds when Emma opens her mouth again, “we’re more than a stone’s throw from the land Aurora should be ruling. At least several days' travel.” “God, that’s confusing. And did all these kingdoms have separate laws and everything? Who came up with that? Seems like a garbage way to rule.” “I believe you’d have to file a complaint with several different monarchies for that, love.”
Emma scoffs. “It’s quieter here than it was in Neverland, though.” “Most places are.” “Colder too. I hate the cold. I’m always—can’t ever seem to get warm and my toes are always freezing, it’s...I’m a notorious blanket thief.” “Pirate of sorts, huh?” He grins as he says it and part of Emma wants to scream. Stand up and run, as fast as her feet and far-too-long hem allow. But that part is also smaller than usual, and she’s all too aware of the state her knees are in. “Something like that,” Emma agrees. “When I was a kid I used to live in this place. Snowed for months at a time and I—I hated it. Wanted to be anywhere else. Kept trying to find somewhere that was warm, sunny. Like that would chase away the shadows.” Hook is disarmingly quiet. 
And Emma can’t shut up. 
“But then I got some place where it never snows and it wasn’t what I thought it’d be. Dry heat, you know?” He shakes his head. That’s fair. Pirates with several-hundred years of experience under their belts should not be expected to understand meteorological cliches. 
“Anyway,” Emma mumbles, “it wasn’t what I expected or thought was supposed to happen and—” She scrunches her nose. Hook waits. Presumably for the rest of the sentence, but it doesn’t come and she finds it difficult to breathe again when he starts talking.
“Sunlight always seemed better on the sea. Would reflect off the surf. Could see the entire horizon if you wanted to.” “And did you?” Hook nods. “As often as I could. Even when I was lad. My father used to bring my brother and I—” This might be their best and least organized conversation. Gritting his teeth, his shoulders shift when he inhales sharply. “These stars are different from Neverland’s.” “Really? Weird.” “Mmhm, made navigating something of a challenge.”
“But you’re here now, right?” “Presently, you mean?” Another head shake. More moving hair and unmoving fingers. Emma’s knuckles are white around the hook, holding it like a lifeline and she might have to spend the rest of her life thanking him for this. 
It’s not as daunting a prospect as it should be. 
“I mean past you is here,” Emma says, “in the Enchanted Forest. Doing pirate type things and offering Mary—” Her tongue gets in the way. As disgusting a thought as that is, Emma knows it’s better than thinking about what is actually happening, feeling as if her throat is collapsing in on itself while her heart does its best to beat its way out of her chest. “Shit.” Killian shuffles closer, not stopping until his knee bumps hers. “That happened from time to time. Leaving Neverland, doing jobs for—” “—Pan?” “Sometimes. He couldn't leave the island, you see. Not without losing the magic as well. Jolly’s crew was his only option. Although we always managed to stay here longer than he wanted us to.” “Well, pirates hate rules, don’t they?” “I believe that’s in the bylaws, aye.” She’s got absolutely no idea what sound that one is. Shaky and a little wobbly and some dark, half-forgotten part of Emma’s brain believes it’s drifting close to giggle territory. That can’t be right. She can’t giggle while she’s still crying. 
The bylaws of the Universe probably frown on that. 
“Is that how you wound up with Cora, then? Stuck around longer and got a good deal?” Nothing. 
No answer. No jokes. Certainly nothing even remotely resembling a giggle. 
Just the muscle in Hook’s temple, jumping rhythmically and consistently and Emma really does try to stay patient. Her sniffling makes that difficult. 
“Something like that,” Killian repeats evasively, staring straight ahead like he can see through the trees. Maybe he can. What does Emma know. Some pirates probably have to have good eyesight. Make up for the eye patches and whatnot. 
She nods. No one asked a question. “Ok.” “Ok?” “Ok,” Emma echoes, “you’re a real shit liar and I’m real great at telling when you’re lying, but—” “—Me specifically?” Yes. The answer is yes, but she doesn’t give voice to that either and maybe she should be writing all these things down. The things she’s not saying. 
Should say. 
Emma can’t believe she time traveled and didn’t even get to talk to her mother. 
And that’s the first time she’s really allowed herself to think of Snow White as her mother. 
“Super power,” Emma continues, waving her free hand towards her temple. Her other one is still clinging to his hook. “But that’s fine. You didn’t pry, so I won’t pry, I just—” Collapsing throats, she imagines, are supposed to hurt more than this does. This doesn’t hurt, per se, just feels passably uncomfortable, like there’s a wad of cotton in her mouth, making it difficult to say anything and Emma is so bad at saying anything, but Killian is staring at her and—
Killian. 
She lets herself call him Killian. In her head, at least .
“I can’t come up with anything else to say except thank you,” Emma whispers. 
“You don’t have to.” “Still.” “You’re welcome,” Killian says, and maybe words carry more weight in the past. By default. 
“Can I ask you something, though?” He tenses. Noticeably. It’s another round of fair and understandable, Emma’s teeth finding her lower lip until she tastes blood. Another reminder that she’s still here. With her fingers wrapped around Captain Hook’s—
No, that’s not right. Captain Hook did not follow her into a time vortex. Or ask her to dance. Or wear the fuck out of that jacket. Although that last one could use a bit more work, at least when it comes to sentence structure. 
The point still stands. 
Captain Hook didn’t do any of that. Killian Jones did. 
And he—
“When we were watching everything in the castle and Regina was you know…” Killian lips go thin. Emma might be staring at his lips. Past him had been a very good kisser as well. Maybe she’ll mention that at some point. After this. “Well, I just,” she stammers, “I was terrified, for my mom and my dad and even Ruby—God, is that her name here?” “Introduced herself as Red when Snow White sent her.” “Weird.” “Perhaps the best word for the entire situation.” “Or shitty.” “Aye that too,” he smiles, which is not weird. At least not as weird as it should be. “I wasn’t sure what was going to happen.” “Yeah, me neither,” Emma breathes, not exactly the explicit truth, but at least several steps without moving. “I—you have very strong arms.” “A compliment?” “An observation.” Killian chuckles, and this hair really is unfortunate. Normally, that one bit that Emma has come to regard as her own personal torture device would artfully fall across his forehead, a metaphorical arrow towards eyes that always seem to get brighter when they’re looking at her.
As they often are. 
But while the hair is different, the distracting tendencies of his tongue are the same. The tip of it finds the corner of his mouth, a soft push on the inside of his cheek, and Emma’s not keeping a list — at least not acknowledging her want of a list — but the tongue thing is definitely one of Killian’s most telling tells. 
Seriously, her sentence structure sucks. 
“Although,” Emma adds, “it wasn’t that bad.” HIs tongue goes back in his mouth. She’s got to stop thinking about his tongue.
“No?” “No,” she says. “It was...nice.” So, off the top of her head, she needs to fix — sentences, her grasp of the English language, her tendency to repeat herself, and finding better adjectives for emotionally charged moments. 
Possibly. 
Emma still hasn’t called him Killian to his face, after all. 
“What did you think was going to happen?” No tongue, but an obviously tight jaw makes Emma’s stomach jump into her still-collapsed throat. “Like I said, love. I wasn’t sure. Just wanted to make sure you’re alright.” The lie feels like it reaches out, smacks her across the face and then backhands her for good measure. It leaves Emma’s cheeks tingling and something tugs at the base of her spine. Not magic, because she still doesn’t have magic, but maybe magic adjacent, like a memory or hints of a dream that keep lingering at the edges of everything, and she promised. 
She doesn’t push. She doesn’t prod. 
She doesn’t pry. 
And Killian has to move his sword again when he gets back to his feet. “We’ve got a fire going, if you’d like to warm up.” “Yeah, ok. Thanks.” Emma doesn’t let go of the hook, keeps her fingers curled around it as they move back through the trees and neither one of them stumble, a very small, but much needed victory because—
Well, everything kind of continues to suck. 
At least for a little while. 
Snow White isn’t dead, but she’s a bug, and then she’s not a bug and Emma has no idea where Ruby goes. She’s too busy worried about this nameless woman and wielding a branch gets her another laugh and a smile she’s going to think about for at least seventy-two hours straight. Then there are trolls, and tears of the less-pained variety. Rumplestilskin continues to be any forest’s biggest asshole, and there’s magic and another round of crying and—
Emma runs. 
Sprinting across Storybrooke, she ignores the ringing phone in her pocket, determined to hug her parents and hold her kid with her own display of impressive upper body strength. 
And it gets better, less suck-like, at least. Food and smiles and the way her mother’s hand feels when it rests on top of Emma’s. 
Until she’s sitting — tucked into the corner of a booth with her own face staring at her from the pages of Henry’s storybook and Emma can’t quite recognize the person there. The happiness on her face feels like...well, a story. A good one, but something that she can’t believe was hers or is hers or could be hers and she’s got to add tenses to that list she only kind of remembers. 
Glancing around, the muscles in her neck object to the stress she’s putting them under, because time travel is awful and exhaustion is starting to creep its way up her spine. 
“Looking for someone?” her mother asks, and Emma’s lips pop. 
That’s it. 
She understands. Fucking goddamn finally. 
Emma might nod. Or shake her head. It doesn’t really matter. 
There are no words. No explanations. Just clamoring back to her feet, the bottoms of her boots sticking to the linoleum near the door because one of the dwarves definitely spilled punch at some point and—
His head snaps up as soon as the door closes behind her. 
“So, do you think Rumplestilskin is right?” Emma asks, dropping into one of the wrought-iron chairs at the table Killian has commandeered. Pirate term. “I’m in the book now. He said everything, besides our little adventure, would go back to normal. Do you think that it is?”
“He’s right. Otherwise I’d remember that damned bar wench I kissed.” She smiles. Wide and honest and easier than anything has ever been. And Killian doesn’t flinch when she teases him, like that’s something Emma is allowed to do, but she figures once she uses his name and once they start making out like teenagers it’s fine, and this is her favorite kiss. 
By far. 
No sounds, no rum, nothing except the feel of his fingers in her hair and her knees bumping against his and she tries to claw her way into his space, a burst of colors behind her closed eyes that she knows is magic and him and them, a collective unit that—
“You came out here,” Killian murmurs, the words barely making their way through the haze of Emma’s post-makeout brain. 
She bumps her nose against his. “Turnabout and all that. I...I didn’t want you to be by yourself. And I had a thought.” “Which was?” “Did you think I was going to disappear? When Regina tried to kill my mom. I—you said you didn’t know what would happen, but that wasn’t—” “—Super power, huh?” “Not cool to interrupt when I’m theorizing.” “Well, you don’t like being cool, do you, Swan?” Her smile is going to get stuck on her face. That’s...nice. “Was that what it was?” “The thought had crossed my mind, aye.” “Smart guy.” “High praise.” “I’m an official princess now. In the book and everything, so favors from me hold a certain weight, don’t you think?” He smirks. She tries to memorize it. Every shift of his mouth, the spark in his eye and slight scrunch of his nose, what might be a few freckles there or a trick of the dim lights above them. 
Emma’s skin feels like it’s vibrating. 
“Thank you.” “You don’t have to keep saying that, Swan.” “Yeah, I know, but—I didn’t think about disappearing, but I did think about wanting something to hold onto and that’s...thank you.”
It’s not enough. Not really, but even the concept of holding her tight enough to ensure that she didn’t disappear in some fairy tale realm is a lot for Emma to wrap her mind around, so she’s going to give herself a pass on this one. 
And kiss him instead. Kissing Killian is quickly climbing to the top of a brand-new list of Emma’s favorite things. In every known realm. His tongue swipes her lips and she opens her mouth at the same time her eyes fall shut again, a tilt of her head and bump of their chins, and it’s not easy to deal with all of their assorted limbs at this angle, but that just ensures that this is a bit slower and softer and something that is, quite obviously, the start. 
Because she came after him this time. 
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