#ALSO the fact that people will do it because they lowkey don’t agree with queer readings of a character | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 3 years ago

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I love that we as a fandom have declared the clem comic an noncanon lmao. i'm curious tho, do you believe clem will get a new love interest? do you think it will be amos or someone else?

Yeah, gotta love seeing a fandom come together to agree on something.... even though that something isn't exactly invoking happy feelings, y'know? Like yeah, the comic sucks and at this point I doubt the trilogy will be much better unless Tillie suddenly starts to understand Clementine and makes some impossibly massive improvements..... but it's nice to see all of us mostly getting along?

As for the whole love interest thing, I'm like 98% sure that Clementine's going to get a new girlfriend in the comics. That's my prediction.

During the dumb xpo thing, Tillie talked about how she's excited to explore Clementine as a queer character in the apocalypse and considering Tillie's other works, I will bet literal cash that Clementine gets a new girlfriend. I don't think Amos will be the love interest, and if he does end up being that for Clem or if Clem gets a boyfriend, then I will genuinely be shocked.

.....Y'know what, I need to get this off my chest and this seems relevant enough-

I was talking with my roommate about this the other night actually. I told her all about my predictions for Clem getting a new girlfriend and how annoying this whole comic is, but also how annoying people are being to Tillie over this and like.... everything is a mess.

My roommate, who knows that literally everything is wrong in the 12 page comic and who I told about the xpo where Tillie talked about Clem being queer is important, asked me how I would feel if she ended up getting Clementine's canon bisexuality wrong, and what if she decides to make Clementine a lesbian?

And like...... I actually stopped what I was working on because this wave of dread crashed through me at the thought of that, and I could actually imagine it happening because she already got everything else wrong and if she hasn't actually played the games and is pulling this shit out of her ass.... I can't even describe to you the feeling I felt...

I want to believe that Tillie would at least know and respect the fact that Clementine is a canon bisexual. From what I've gathered, Tillie herself is wlw and I don't believe she would erase a bisexual character. She knows that Clementine is a queer character. Clementine's bisexual.

Like obviously, if I'm right and Clementine gets a girlfriend, she'll still be bisexual. Nothing will ever change that.

But I'm going to tell all of you this right now because just thinking about it upsets me.... if for whatever reason, if Tillie Walden actually erases Clementine's bisexuality and makes her a lesbian in the graphic novel trilogy while "exploring what it means to be queer in the apocalypse," I'm done.

I will have nothing left for Tillie. I will no longer support anything she does. I won't condone harassment towards her because that makes you just as shitty, but I will absolutely call that bullshit out and then never support her again. I will never talk about the comic again because how dare you think you can get away with that and still expect me to waste brain cells on your comic? Hell, I will probably be so fucking livid that I'll drive my ass all the way to barnes and noble just to return the books I bought of hers.

Dramatic? Yeah, but y'know what? I've never really touched on this outside of a few "Clem being bisexual is important representation and we love it" but her being bisexual means so much to me. It truly does, I mean.... after the dumb "btw Javi is bi, we just wrote him straight and threw in a line of flirty dialogue with jesus so we can have our cake and eat it, too-- the straight homophobes will still buy our game and the lgbt+ community will love us, win win," I cannot explain the joy I felt when Clementine was written as a bisexual woman and that she was given two love interests that meant so much to the players.

Like.... I dunno, I never got any real bi rep in games or books or movies, especially bi girls, when I was a teen trying to figure shit out. In jr high and high school, I could never find stories that has bi women as a lead because I was too afraid to look anything up. I didn't wanna be caught reading/watching things that were lgbt+ because I had a shitty boyfriend at the time and our friend group were heavily religious and judgmental. My best friend [who I haven't spoken to for years now] was one of those people who claimed to support lgbt+ people.... but also once told me that she thought lesbians were okay but gay men were lowkey gross and probably only into other dudes because girls wouldn't date them. Oh, and I'll never forget the time she told me that bi people don't actually exist because you either like one or the other.

That's a great thing to here from the best friend you've know since you were an infant after you've realized that you aren't only attracted to boys.

But now I'm out of that environment and I haven't talked to anyone from high school since I graduated, and I've felt more free to intake all the things I wish I could've before...

I just.... Clementine is important to me for a lot of reasons. I've played these games forever, I've gotten to watch her grow for years, and she's just so well-written and amazing in tfs, and the fact that the writers wanted to write her as a bisexual woman means so much, I just.... even though it's not canon, I can't help but take this disaster of a comic personally. Just from those 12 pages, everything about Clementine is destroyed and it sucks. It hurts..... but I'm still not holding anything against Tillie herself. Her comic is bad, but that doesn't mean she's bad..... however, erasing Clem's bisexuality would be the last straw for me.

.....This turned into a rant. Sorry about that. You asked a simple question and I dumped my life story on you but I dunno, I needed to get that off my chest because it's been bothering the back of my mind.

I do wanna add once more that I don't think Tillie's actually going to do that... she should know that both Louis and Violet are canon love interests, plus Clementine canonically had a crush on Gabe in ANF. I think if she's going to get anything right, it'll be the fact that Clem is bi.... I'm just expressing a major fear I have and what it would do to me, and others, if it happened..... y'know?

#asks #twdg clementine #twdg louis #twdg violet

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bisluthq · 4 years ago

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Hey! I'm fairly new here and I have a pretty uncommon take on Kaylor. But I just wanna start off by saying I try my best to be as supportive of LGBT people as possible and if they're both bisexual, then I would be 100% okay with that! I'm not trying to "defend their heterosexuality" or anything, I think that's really weird

Okay, so my personal theory is that Kaylor did happen, but that Taylor and Karlie are both straight. I know that might sound contradictory, but I say this based on my own personal experiences based on how I am with my best friend. I think Karlie and Taylor's relationship might have been similar in some ways to ours

Right, so I'm straight and I'm not into women in the gay kind of way (but it's completely cool that some girls are), and I have this roommate who's gorgeous. Really gorgeous, she's like a 10/10 "I would sell my kidney to look like you" kind of girl. She's very attractive, she has like tan skin and long legs and gorgeous brown hair and pretty eyes and nice lips and just like… she's just very good looking. I'm definitely jealous of her body, I won't even pretend I'm not 😪 I lowkey hate her because of it (jk)

We've been living together since not long before COVID started, and we're very good friends. There were three of us before, but our other roommate went back home to stay with her parents until in person classes are back on and we agreed to it and worked something out because she has really bad anxiety so we understood her reasoning for it

Anyway so it's just been us two and because we've been at home a lot during this time instead of out for most of the day like before, we've gotten to know each other a lot better and have become a lot closer. We were already friends from before, but now we're like super close besties, we've been hanging out a lot together and playing board games, watching movies, helping each other with essays, just having long conversations about anything and everything, etc

Like it's been so nice having a best friend that I can be this close to now because I haven't had a best friend since I was a kid

So my friend and I were having like a conversation last year about how hard it's been in quarantine not being able to go on dates and how we miss kissing people, and so we decided to just like, make out for fun you know. I mean, there's not really anything that's inherently romantic or sexual about making out, that's just society that says that. But tbh I think making out with your friends if you want to should be normalized, it's fun and it can even be emotional sometimes. It's not that different from hugging people

After a couple of weeks or so, I think we got bored of just making out with each other and decided to like, fully hook up. It started off because we were modelling lingerie for each other for banter and were pretending we were each other's runway judges and then I think we just decided to hook up with each other as like part of the whole "game". I can't remember who initiated it now, I think it might have been me as a joke lol

Like just in a platonic way for fun, as a kind of substitute until we can go back into society

And tbh I always expected hooking up with a woman to be like mediocre and boring and awkward, but although it was a bit hard to get the hang of at first and there was a learning curve, it's actually very enjoyable. Like I was very surprised actually at how hot it can be, I think I can maybe see why bisexual women and lesbians like doing it

Anyway we both liked it and we just carried on hooking up on the regular and it's been like 8 months now and tbh I just think it's very sweet and heartwarming, like it actually makes me feel a little emotional how we're close enough and care about each other enough that we can even help each other out with the physical intimacy side of things so that we don't get sexually frustrated while we're stuck in lockdown

I just think it's really cool and we even sleep in the same bed most of the time now because tbh what's the point in sleeping alone when you can sleep in the same bed as someone else? It's nicer, like you can cuddle and stuff

Anyway, I think that maybe Kaylor's relationship might have been similar. I think they're both straight but they became really close friends in a short space of time, and that their friendship was so intense that it became physical but in a platonic way

I think lesbians and bisexual women are amazing and I have so much respect for you guys for accepting yourselves in a society that tries to erase you, and I think there definitely needs to be more wlw representation on TV and in movies

But at the same time, I would also like there to be more close female friendships like the one that me and my friend have where you can just talk about everything together and do things that society usually reserves for romantic partners, but in a platonic way. Because female friendship is really important and beautiful, whether that's between straight women like me and my friend who I think is probably straight too, or between queer women because one thing I've learnt during my short time on this blog is how queer women can have very close platonic friendships with other queer women too

I think society just has overly strict ideas of "straight" and "gay". Like for some people, they would hear about two women sleeping together and think "Oh that's gay", but not necessarily because straight women can enjoy sleeping with other women too, like it's normal 🤷‍♀️

I think it's just a result of women being a lot more physically beautiful than men are, like straight women really got the short end of the stick tbh compared to straight men

I also think it's because women are so oversexualized in the media, and obviously straight girls see that too and so we sort of internalize that attraction to women because we're so used to seeing women being presented in a sexual way? Except it's not real attraction with us like how it is for queer girls

Like I'm very much "attracted" to my friend, she's genuinely stunning and just very hot tbh. But I still identify as straight because it's just a case of what I mentioned above, it's a "fake" attraction. And also because men are afraid to compliment other men because it's seen as "gay", but women can be fully confident in their sexuality and still recognize other women's beauty and sex appeal. You see it all the time in instagram comments, and I really love how we're all so supportive of each other like that

Like I can be fully confident in my sexuality and yet still say that some women like my friend are gorgeous as hell and also 100 times better looking than most men I've seen. I'm very much obsessed with some women's appearances but in a platonic way

And I just love the concept of "girl crushes" and I think that from a feminism viewpoint, it's beautiful that we're focusing on other girls and showing love towards other girls too, instead of just to men who, let's be real, don't even fully appreciate it half of the time

I am going to be sad when we all have to return to life as usual and my friend and I won't be able to spend as much time together anymore. I'm dreading it tbh, I don't want it to end yet. And it really sucks that the physical side of our friendship will probably have to stop too once our other roommate comes back because I think she'd definitely misunderstand the situation and think it's something different than it actually is if she ever saw us kissing or something. I really am going to miss it a lot though, I really like how things currently are and it's just really really nice and I don't want it to change :/

Btw I'm sorry if I sounded fetishistic or offensive with any of this, I just get a bit jealous sometimes that you guys get to date girls and we're just stuck with men. Honestly if it wasn't for all of the homophobia and the struggles that you all have to face and the fact that it would feel disrespectful to the LGBT community, I would probably really wish I could change my sexuality to be bisexual or gay instead because I just think women are better. Sometimes I really do wish I was into women in that way because dating girls just sounds so much more appealing to me (in a non fetishizing weird way) but unfortunately I'm stuck with dating men 🤦‍♀️ But I also know I'm lucky and privileged to be straight even though most men are mediocre and kinda gross and I don't mean to be disrespectful because I know you all have to face homophobia and other LGBT difficulties and it really sucks, people are awful. There's nothing wrong with women dating women or men dating men at all, society is just ugly and bigoted

Anyway, does anybody else have a similar sort of take on Kaylor where they think they could have both been straight and just had a very close friendship with a physical side to it? I think it would explain a lot. But like I said, this is just a theory of mine based on my own situation, and I'm also open to the idea that it was an actual relationship and that they're both into women for real, not just fake "into women" like I am.

Also pls feel free to call me out if I accidentally said anything offensive towards LGBT people, I tried my best but if I made a mistake anywhere pls let me know and I'll avoid it next time!

You’re not offensive. Please stop apologizing. And we’re gonna come back to the Kaylor stuff another time because... Honey. You and I need to have a conversation for a bit.

So firstly, I’m not trying to like “diagnose” you and at the end of the day it’s your choice what you want to call yourself but... tbh you might not be straight. Sexuality is fluid not static and exists on a spectrum not in absolutes. It’s not like it’s straight, 50/50 bi, gay and you’re born knowing and there’s no room for anything else. That’s not true. There’s a lot of room in between all of these and labels can change over time. We’re people, not cereal brands, and sometimes we don’t even KNOW the word for what we might be. I’m tagging a tag for you from when we asked people to share their label journeys for you to see. It’s not simple or easy and it’s not just because of external stuff - it’s because figuring this out internally is HARD. If you found yourself having such an intense friendship it became physical, repeatedly, you liked it a lot, you still sleep in the same bed and continue to share all your thoughts and you don’t want any of that to end... I’m not sure you’re Kinsey 0. And I think you might lowkey have a girlfriend dude.

You can obviously prefer men but like... hun I reaaallly don’t think you’re completely straight.

Also: it’s okay to say “I see myself winding up with a man and this is a situationship for right now!” but that doesn’t make you straight because again, sexuality is a spectrum and you can manifest a particular kind of endgame while experiencing other things along the way.

But here’s where you really got me: “most men are mediocre and kinda gross” and “women being a lot more physically beautiful than men are, like straight women really got the short end of the stick tbh compared to straight men” because that’s the kind of thing I used to say in my Bi 1.0 era before I ID’d as a lesbian for a bit and before Harry Styles (KING 🥺) made me bi for real. Hun, no. Straight women like men. Tbh BI women like men. I genuinely, unironically, find Harry and Timmy and Matt Smith to be sexy beasts and I would do dirty things to the former two but maybe not the latter irl in 2021 but yes also him if I could be on that Spain trip with him and Karen where they got sloshed and which I think of often. These men are genuinely fucking beautiful to me in the same way Taylor is and Di Silvers is (okay she’s prettier than all of them but like same ~vibe) and like Megan Thee Stallion is and Indira Varma in everything but especially GOT and Gillian Anderson and Keira Knightley. Like those women are HOT to me and SO. ARE. THE. MEN.

Straight women find SO MANY DUDES hot. So many. Starting from objectively pretty options I just cannot personally understand like Chris Evans all the way through to bitches who are outchea simping for wrestlers and Cole Sprouse. Do I understand? No. But like... that’s straight girl culture and ours is not to judge.

If you’re struggling to find men hot then... you might be gay.

Also, I’m not sure what you mean by “fake attraction”. Like queer women - especially femme women which I assume you very much are - experience the same kinds of feelings straight girls do. We have women we want to be like and look like and find enviable (me and Oenone Forbat) and women we find aesthetically gorgeous (me and Anya Taylor Joy) and we have extremely close female friends who we can spend hours on end spilling our guts to - as you say female friendships are truly special - and without going into personal people that you don’t know, that’s me and Cam and Sim right? I literally talk to them for hours. Like those are not gay feelings. And yes we can chat about those kinds of feelings with straight girls and call them “girl crushes” and not immediately get “caught out” because they experience this exact shit too.

But here’s the thing. They never do and I don’t want in the cases above to fuck these women. It’s not sexual.

The moment I can actually imagine fucking the women in question that’s... gay.

Like it’s not “fake attraction” it’s literally just gay. That’s how we desire women. We want to fuck them. Not all women. Not always. But sometimes we want to get under or on top of one and just really truly fucking make each other moan with pleasure.

I have no idea if Karlie or Taylor are into women. They could both literally be straight. I have no idea.

But I have a better idea about you.

Hun, you’re fucking your roommate/best friend and don’t want to stop.

You’re not “into women”.

You’re into this woman.

And possibly into women more generally.

So I know it’s weird to have to be the one to tell you this, and if you want to keep chatting via anon or in my DMs or if you want me to try collate resources for you from around the web but...

Like.

Dude.

You’re a whole ass part of the rainbow.

Welcome to the community you thought you weren’t a part of earlier today 🌈 ❤️

It’s nice here, sure there’s homophobia, but at least we get to fuck girls and man is it good.

#agony aunat #share your label journey #roommate anon <3

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morethanonepage · 4 years ago

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what would you say are the dynamics and themes that interest you most? Also frankly I'm surprised you read any star wars fic still, I agree on just wanting to read some good finnpoe but that has gotten increasingly futile.

i mean the thing i potentially like so much about finnpoe is that they BOTH have very specific, in some ways very different traumas (finn being a child soldier and growing up in such a highly regulated way where he had basically no bodily autonomy VS poe being mind-raped AND seeing his inability to stop it as having betrayed his own people AND seeing so many of his friends & comrades die in quick succession AND still recovering from the loss of his mother as a child and Muran when he was commanding Rapier Squadron) but they both have a tendency to compartmentalize that and continue to function on their own while being loyal (Finn’s devotion to Rey, which gets a lot of flack in fandom but like -- that’s one of the first people he’s been able to form a connection with!! AND I think he lowkey feels that it’s his fault Rey got dragged into -- everything, so he feels a great deal of responsibility for protecting her) and passionate about a cause (Poe basically killing himself to keep the Ideals Of The Republic Alive, be it through trying to hunt down the FO before he’s even part of the Resistance, to doing everything he can to keep the Resistance afloat once he is).

like they have those similarities -- a real sense of duty and responsibility toward their friends and those they’re fighting with -- but they have fundamental differences in approach that the movies did a shitty job of extrapolating on when it could’ve been such an interesting conflict: Poe is the idealist and thinks of duty to a higher ideal first and foremost (like Leia and his mother, tbh) whereas Finn is more of a pessimist and a cynic and believes protecting your friends and loved ones from the substantial evil is hard enough without setting up to FIGHT ALL OF THE BAD IN THE UNIVERSE like Poe wants/believes he has to do. and both of these things are based so much on their upbringings! Poe grew up with those ideals and freedoms and parents who fought, successfully, to protect them, and believes he owes it to them to live up to their example and protect them as well; Finn has SEEN the evil of the FO firsthand and seen everyone around him subsumed by it, believes it to be omnipotent bc for him and his squad mates it literally was. escaping all of that was an act of powerful resistance on its own!

idk i just think a lot of the fandom’s take on this is, if you focus on finn ~running away~ in canon or not wanting to join up with the Resistance just ‘cause it’s ~the right thing to do~ you’re feeding into this idea of black men being cowards and/or selfish when it’s like no! that’s the consequence of his trauma: he’s running away from an abuser who controlled every aspect of his life, who’s set up to hunt him down and destroy planets and take over the universe in a way that’ll mean he’s NEVER safe, and he knows every single person he grew up with and had some affection for are a part of it too, which on the one hand he might be reluctant to fight them, but on the other they 100% won’t be reluctant to fight him AND they know him well enough to know his weaknesses.

all of this is A LOT and it’s heavy and dark stuff, which i GET can be hard to work into like, light fluffy fic about finn finally being happy or learning what sex is or w/e, and not everything about fanfic has to be a ~deep exploration~ of character’s inner turmoil but like -- idk. there’s ways of dealing with these elements of finn’s backstory without making the whole thing drudging tragedy porn (which is ANOTHER fanfic trend i can’t stand -- neither Finn nor Poe are characters entirely without hope and fics that treat either of their tragedies [lbr it’s mostly poe’s that get dealt with] as the focus or main characteristic of either also bum me out) and I just really wish fandom had more interest in it.

Another factor that KILLS ME is how Poe has (justifiably) developed OBVIOUS distrust for the force and force users, and would have such a fundamentally hard time dealing with the fact that Finn is one. Canon didn’t even let Finn be explicitly force sensitive, and fandom is like YAY FINN IS FORCE SENSITIVE, NOW HE CAN USE THE FORCE TO BONE (POE), and any fic that does touch on it makes Poe out to be ~unreasonable for not trusting Finn, or having his distrust be a consequence of his PTSD alone, and a sign he has to deal with his shit VS a very real issue that Poe might genuinely not be able to get over: the force CAN be creepy and is too easy to abuse, and a lot of what Poe’s seen it used for WAS bad.

the other dimension of all this is, accidentally or not, these dynamics take on all sorts of real-world implications given both actor’s identities -- the explicit parallels between Finn’s upbringing and chattel slavery (taken from his family at an early age, losing all connection with his birthplace and culture, seen as useful but dispensable by an oppressive, mostly-white empire) & its legacy for Black Americans (that lack of connection with a historical homeland and the loss of a cultural connection that came from it) VS the first generation latinx immigrant narrative that Poe and his family embody (the sacrifice for and long separation from a child in the service of giving them a better life, the burden that child takes upon themselves to make that sacrifice worth it by excelling in certain spheres, the drive to be the VERY BEST representative of their new culture, the embrace of that culture’s ideals bc they don’t want to think their parents sacrificed everything for a lie [with the creeping knowledge and experience to know many of those ideals are flawed and not always lived up to]).

and the canon ignores that bc addressing it would require world building that couldn’t center/come back to the Skywalkers in some way (and the only family dynamics it’s interested in is DADDY ISSUES, fucking Free Fall), and fandom doesn’t care about it bc it’s mostly white girls who, AT BEST, decide to focus on the potential ~sexuality conflicts (coming out, family rejection, etc) when writing real world AUS, without dealing with the intersectionality of a black and a brown man, their respective cultural context, and the resultant conflicts those would create beyond, idk, “POCs are always homophobic so finn and/or poe’s parents kicked them out or w/e”. and like I really don’t WANT these people trying to grapple with the complexity of a queer, interracial relationship where neither participant is white (i’ve seen enough just watching them grapple with either character’s sexuality tbh).

but idk, that’s what’s interesting to me: finn and poe’s backgrounds and how those set up fundamental conflict points for both of them, both in canon (Poe’s devotion to the cause of liberty and democracy for the whole galaxy VS Finn’s duty to the people he loves over anything else) and in a real world au (Black people have a fundamentally different relationship to the American Ideal than Latinx immigrants do, for very good reasons). And I want those things to be significant elements of the characterization for both, but not the ONLY elements of characterization for both: stories should, in even some small way, be about what characters WANT (even if it is just “to fuck,” as it often is when I write [ok it’s usually “to love but be able to show it without saying it, hence the fucking”]) and so few fics, these days, give me any sense of what finn and poe want besides, vaguely “each other” (”because the author feels like they have to write them bc the actors are hot/for woke points”) and that is just -- boring to me.

also god i would just love to read some dialogue that isn’t just twitter/tumblr memes and/or mcu level mean quips. like, just in general.

#given my insanely high standards i think i should be rewarded for not shredding EVERY fic i read frankly #finnpoe #youandthemountains #longpost #rebloggable if you so choose lol

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princessjungeun · 4 years ago

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Hi! I hope you're doing well :) Can I request a Heejin x Reader scenario where reader spends the New Year celebration with LOONA and everyone knows they both have a crush on each other so they try to set them together for a new year's kiss?❤️

Cherry Chapstick: Heejin x Reader

when heejin invited you to celebrate new year’s eve with her at the loona dorm you lowkey panicked. you’ve been there before on multiple occasions and you happened to be friends with some of the girls as well. the problem was that it was new years. any other holiday would have been fine but new years....everyone knows about the infamous new years kiss. and that kiss was the only thing that was bugging you.

see, you liked heejin a lot, you have for a long time but you’re very convinced it’s unrequited. despite the fact that hyunjin told you that heejin liked you too, it was still hard for you to believe. you had even tried to make yourself un-like her by distancing yourself from her.

but that fell through last night when she told you to your face that she knew you were trying to push her away. heejin was the first for you made since you moved from north carolina to south korea for your mother’s job. she was close to you and she didn’t want to lose that. but since heejin wasn’t one to force you to explain yourself, only asking a simple yes or no question:

do you hate me or something?

you were quick to tell her no which prompted her to invite you to the dorm so you could celebrate new year’s with the girls.

all of that leading up to now. you paced around your bedroom trying to figure out what to do. heejin told you to be there at 8 and it was already 6. most people would think that’s plenty of time but they couldn’t be more wrong.

styling your hair alone would take an hour, then picking out your outfit, eating before you go, walking there, and probably getting distracted on the way. all of those leave you with 10 more minutes of standing around before you’d be late.

without wanting to waste too much time you scrolled through your phone looking for a hairstyle. it didn’t take long to find a simple yet cute one, two braids into a high puff. simple enough.

like you expected doing your hair took an hour, although yes the styling part was quick. you somehow allowed yourself to not comb your hair for four days, which lead to a very not fun detangling process. all is well now though because you looked fantastic, the curls are all types of popping.

you got overwhelmed choosing an outfit and ultimately decided on a sweatshirt and black jeans. just as you were putting on your coat your grandmother stopped you, “where you goin lookin all prettied up pum’kin?”

you replied “heejin’s. remember i told you about it last night...you said yes.”

your grandmother onced you over “put on anotha’ layer, you finna get a cold baby cakes...n change ya shoes too.”

checking your phone you saw it was already 7:45 heejin’s dorm is a 20 minute walk away, 15 if you’re fast.

you whined “momma i’m gonna be late, i’ll only be outside for 15 minutes i won’t get sick.”

she came back from around the corner, a scarf, ear muffs, gloves, and your pair of tims in her hand. “see dats what ya ancestors said bout dem diseases n look what happened.”

you sighed deeply “momma-“ she narrowed her eyes at you and just like that you were on the floor changing your shoes.

when you were done you stood up and asked “alright can i go now?”

the older woman asked playfully “tryna leave me so soon?”

you quickly replied “n-no of course not momma i just-“

she laughed and told you “i’m just messin’ wit ya baby doll, go on now. have fun for me aight?”

you hugged her and placed a kiss on her cheek before running out the door.

it started snowing right as you were approaching the dorm building, you thanked lord that it didn’t happen sooner or your hair would have gotten messed up.

you texted heejin that you were outside and she quickly came and got you, leading you up to their dorm.

when you got upstairs the girls were all scattered around the dorm. haseul and kahei were still hanging decorations while gowon was playing on her switch. hyejoo and hyunjin were arguing over some game that they were playing on a laptop. yerim and yeojin were singing their hearts out in karaoke while jungeun was literally rolling on the floor laughing with jiwoo about god knows what. jinsoul was spaced out staring at a wall while sooyoung went to find her headphones to tune out everyone else.

heejin didn’t even get a chance to ask what you wanted to do because yeojin immediately grabbed you to sing a song on the karaoke machine.

the one perk about you being an american was the fact that you were quick to school the girls on all of the classic movies. from mean girls to clueless to white chicks, they’d seen them all. which is exactly why yeojin had no problem singing A Thousand Miles with you in english.

heejin could only laugh from the side as the two of you intentionally butchered the song. she watched as you went by each member to check out what they were doing as well. her heart eyes didn’t go unnoticed either, especially by hyunjin and haseul.

you’d excused yourself to the restroom and that was the time for all of the girls to grill heejin. each of them admitted they saw the way she watched you, they knew she liked you. heejin caved and admitted it to them all, but quickly following up with “but don’t do anything to embarrass me...please. i don’t want to mess up what we have.”

the girls all agreed, but because all they promised was to not embarrass her, they still managed to devise a plan to get you two together.

you returned from the bathroom, all of their eyes went to you and the room fell silent. your furrowed your brow “w-what? did i do something?”

yerim replied quickly “no no of course not! you just...uh”

jiwoo jumped in “you just look so gorgeous! all of us were stunned by your beautiful.”

you felt your cheeks heat up as your ears felt like they were burning red. hyunjin laughed “awwww she’s bLUSHINGGGG!”

heejin slapped her arm and hissed, “stop that!” before pulling you off to the side, back so the two of you were watching the television.

the two of you stayed side by side for the entire night, her arm looped in yours. by now it was 11:30 and the countdown was nearing.

you personally noticed how all the girls would start to mumble, then suddenly stop when you looked at them. not wanting to assume you just brushed it off, telling yourself it was “work stuff” even though you knew damn well it wasn’t anything work related.

both you and heejin were mindlessly scrolling through your phones, she was sitting next to you, half of her body already on your lap with your arm wrapped around her shoulder, holding her close to you.

“i’m bored let’s play a game!” haseul got everyone’s attention from the middle of the room. the rest of the girls agreed, you and heejin included.

“let’s do truth or dare.” hyunjin stated with a small smirk. everyone nodded immediately agreeing with her on the game.

you already knew it was a set up, but you also wanted to see how it played out so you didn’t say anything.

the the time fifteen minutes had passed, hyejoo danced all of Kiss Later, jinsoul ran down the street in her infamous lemon pants, sooyoung and jiwoo swapped clothes, and chaewon successfully made microwave popcorn (it was sooyoung’s dare to allow her to do it without supervision).

it was now your turn and you were starting to regret not telling the girls that you were onto them.

“alright...y/n truth or dare.” sooyoung asked with a smile.

you replied “truth.”

sooyoung laughed and said “is it true that you have a giant crush on heejin?”

your eyes widened and you switched to english quickly, hoping the foreigner card will get you out of this one, “i don’t understand the question...sorry.”

all of the girls excluding heejin and haseul booed you playfully, teasing you lightly sue to the blush on your face.

“alright that’s enough.” haseul quieted her members down so heejin could go next. the leader also got up and went to the kitchen for a glass of water.

“heejinnie truth or dare?” hyunjin wiggled her eyebrows dramatically.

“truth.” heejin answered without hesitation.

“oop sorry nope that’s not an option. you close dare by default settings.” hyunjin smiled.

heejin quickly whined “wha- she cant do that can she do that? haseul unnie! she cheated.”

haseul came back with her glass of water, a fake confused look on her face “sorry i wasn’t here i can’t do anything about it. sorry heekie.”

heejin mumbled “you all suck...” she took a deep breath before asking “fine what do you want me to do?”

hyunjin along with everyone else looked at each other before saying in unison, “kiss y/n at midnight.”

the two of you immediately froze in place, your face went pale as panic coursed through your veins. did she actually find out? who told? maybe hyunjin was right?

before you could decline you felt heejin dragging you to her bedroom, all of the girls giggling and squealing as you left.

you say on her bed, your feet dangling off the edge as heejin laid on her back, her head in your lap.

“sorry...they can be a little- you know how they are.” she spoke softly as she reached for your hand, playing with your fingers as she talked.

you replied “it’s cool...my friends back home were the same way- really i’m not upset or anything.”

a thick silence fell over the two of you as you stared blankly at the window and heejin looked up at you.

she asked “so...?”

you replied “so what?” you laughed a little at the end, humming a second of the song before focusing back on the conversation.

heejin responded “d-do you actually...like me?”

you looked at your feet, “yeah...i do. but it doesn’t matter.”

heejin sat up “why?”

you replied “for starters i cant really speak korean, your job wouldn’t allow me to even be with you, and even if we did the media would tear me apart for being black and you for being queer, you’re busy and i’d just hold you down. i don’t wanna do that to you...”

heejin frowned and opened her arms for you, “why would you say that?”

you mumbled into her chest “cause it’s true.”

heejin pulled you closer and said “you’re wrong...all of it. you’re wrong. your korean improves every single day. my dating ban ended three months ago, i’d protect you from anyone and you know that. plus i couldn’t care less about what they think, half of the group is queer too. if anything you push me to do better.”

you mumbled “really?”

she hummed “mhm”

you brought your hand up to heejin’s running your finger over the prominent tendons in her hand. softly you asked her “do you like me though?”

she let her voice deepen, “of course” she rasped out gently with a smirk creeping onto her face.

pushing her gently you mumbled “you’re such a tease, stop it.”

she lifted your chin with her finger and asked “what if i don’t hmm?”

your breath hitched in your chest for a minute before you replied “then i’ll have to....”

your eyes flickered to the digital clock across the room, 11:55:00 it read.

“you’ll have to what? hmm? cat got your tongue?” she pushed her face closer to yours, biting her lip lightly as her gaze narrowed, her eyes crawling up and down your body.

you let her push you back against the wall behind you gently. her face was centimeters from yours, you stuttered “h-heekie”

heejin ran her pointer finger underneath your chin lightly, “yes princess?”

your mind was cloudy, your couldn’t think about anything but the girl in front of you. words simply were not coming out of your mouth no matter how hard you tried. the best you were able to get out was, “i-”

she asked gently “is this okay baby?”

you resorted to body language instead, snaking and arm around her waist and holding her hand.

heejin held your face in one hand, her thumb tracing your jawline, “tell me yes or no pretty girl.”

you nodded and choked out “y-yes. yes.”

her eyes looked at the clock once more, only two seconds to midnight. she smiled as lifted your chin so her lips met yours.

the second you two pulled away she told you, “happy new year y/n.”

you were still thinking about the feeling of her lips on yours, the way she held you close, and how all of her emo were put into one simple kiss. without thinking you mumbled “your lips taste like cherry chapstick....”

#kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff #loona scenarios #loona imagines #loona heejin

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m3r1m4r5u333 · 4 years ago

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This is basically a super long rant on gay slurs, skip it if you like. This post hasn't even got all that much to do with Nolan Patrick, I'm just tagging it because this tag is where the discussion is since recently it came up that NP tweeted a f-slur when he was a teen. Anyway this is just my experience and I do not know if this has anything at all to do with why NP used the f slur back when he was a teen.

I just feel like this is an important topic and it just may help someone understand why SOME people say the hurtful words they say and actually help realise that the people around them are not necessarily as closeminded as they seem to be even if they use gay slurs. Now, the slurs may still hurt to hear, and they may feel ignorant and cruel but I think it helps to realise that even if you hear a gay slur it doesn't automatically mean that you've entered a place that's hostile towards you, yk? Because Merlin knows that anxiety is like a duckling that thinks you're their mom.

So, usage of gay slurs! Always bad, right? All it does is hurt, right? Why would anyone use a gay slur! Enforces systemic violence, right?!

Well not necessarily, not in my experience. I'm pansexual by the way. I feel like that's relevant since the slur relates to me and there's always that "they're/we're talking about me and my people" - feeling present.

So, why have I occasionally used gay slurs even after I got out of that gay-is-bad mindset that many kids adopt in a homophobic environment? Well, BECAUSE I was and am queer. Some (okay, most) of my friends were and are queer.

"HOW COULD YOU?!!" and "then you especially should know not to!" You scream. Well here's why.

First it was the adults. They pissed me off. They didn't get it. They were trying to teach us not to use those slurs and they didn't even understand WHY that was important. All they had been taught was that f-slurs were bad because you can use them to bully others.

"But why can you use them to bully others, my dear englightened adult, my moral compass, my guide?"

And here's what they didn't tell you but you could tell thought:

"Well because being gay is just a horrible, awful thing and nobody should attempt to ruin someone's reputation by saying they're gay!!! The horror!!!" And it was pretty clear that not only were the slurs forbidden, but even the word gay was a huge taboo.

Cue teenager rebellion! Because as it turns out, many of the teens were actually way ahead of the adults and already understood why the slurs hurt. They didn't necessarily hurt because you, the gay kid, or you, a straight kid, thought gayness is awful. They hurt because the slurs were used as an attempt to exclude, to imply bad things about you.

So telling us not to use slurs basically made us use them even more. We were trying to take those words back. Show that gay is not taboo. Show that it's not a good insult because it isn't bad to be gay. Power to the people! (And you know, it has happened before. The word queer used to be super homophobic, how it's used has changed, a lot. Queers took it back, made it their own. We said you know what, I am queer and I am fine with it. And now it's way more neutral a word than it used to be.)

Anyway, for a while, everyone in my class was using f slurs, both the gayest of the gay and the straightest of the straight. Not everyone understood why and some people were using them as an insult but still, our tiny rebellion sort of worked. When someone uses a slur towards the cool jock in your class and all they do is smile and say "thanks" or ask "why are you trying to use that as an insult, it's not a bad thing."... it has certain power you know? When the cool kids in your class use the f slur as an endearment towards their friends and nobody flips their shit because it isn't really an insult? Has a certain power, you know.

Of course after a while it pandered down. Hurling slurs can actually be pretty challenging social behavior and the risk of missunderstandings and hurt feelings was still quite big. The Straights realised that it can be pretty problematic for them to use gay slurs since they are the majority, people were growing older and they were swearing less etc.

Culture changed from people using f slurs in a classroom to me and my very rainbow friends using them in private as our inside jokes. And I still think as long as you're really certain that nobody minds in your friend group, that can be fine. There will always be someone coming in who'll tell you you can't and you shouldn't but really, telling an oppressed group how they are allowed to address each other is... Blergh. Gay slurs are tricky though because gays can be ninjas and if you use them in a public place there's a chance that people just think you're a bunch of straight people trying to insult each other. So beware.

Anyway, back to story time! Sometime later, like a decade later (I'm a real adult!), I was in a group chat of people who played pokemon go. It was a very diverse group of very random people where pretty much the only common thing was that game. I knew some of the folks better, I knew there were other LGBTQ+ people besides me in the group. I doubt that The Straights knew that, we were sort of lowkey, because all we ever talked about was the game, the whole group didn't really know each other on a personal level.

In comes this tiny human (10 years old? Something like that?) complaining that another tiny human in the group called them THE F SLUR. That of course meant that instantly there were several potentially hurt parties in the drama. The kid who was bullied, all the queer folks I knew, potentially other queer people I didn't know. This time I was an adult though and it was my responsibility to calm things down. I wasn't the admin though. Now, to their credit the admin was horrified at the situation. Many other people were horrified too. In fact, almost... TOO horrified. They acted like the kid had been called a serial killer or something, the Worst Imaginable Insult ever, like the bullied child had been accused of torturing animals, setting things on fire. It felt like an overreaction to a word that in essence should not mean anything bad.

One group of people was very, very quiet. Me and my queer friends watching silently at people freaking out because THE slur had been used. Because the child had been ACCUSED of being gay. And that made me sad. And mad. And I felt conflicted.

Ended up speaking out, saying something like yeah it's not nice to use slurs but also, gayness isn't bad, so you don't need to be offended. Maybe that was a wrong reaction, I don't know. I'm not great with kids. All I know is that while people got pissed off at me for downplaying a slur and downplaying bullying, and downplaying homophobic behavior, there were some people who finally spoke up. My gay friends. Who agreed with me.

So here's my rant. Slurs are bad. But it's not black and white. Sometimes we react to them too strongly. That can, too, be offensive.

And we shouldn't be too hard on kids. Kids are little monkeys who will act and react like they've been raised to act and react.

#nolan patrick #slurs #gay rights

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elias-code · 4 years ago

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My OC's relationships on the Dream SMP

These are all characters, not the actual streamers! <3 It's also not all of them since I don't watch a few of them :) I harbour no hate towards the people behind the characters that I have issues with lmao

Awesamdude - Negative relationship - basically, he let Quackity get away with putting Techno away, let Tommy die and get revived by Dream and then never apologised, and then let ghostbur die and... wtf - Yeah we aren't friends. In another universe, if he weren't the warden, we might get along.

BadBoyHalo - He kinda gives me bad vibes - After the egg stuff I just don't really like to be around him... he killed Foolish and tried to kill everyone at the banquet which I just don't vibe with - I kinda understand why he joined the egg. I mean he was there for Skeppy which I think is ok, but he really went off the deep end. If he redeems himself, I'll be the first to befriend him (cautiously)

Callahan - Alright I taught him some American Sign Language for basic communication - I go and hang out with him whenever I feel like there's too much angst on the server, he's so neutral it's honestly relaxing.

Captain Puffy - We don't know each other very well - I mean I agree with her when it comes to the egg and she seems nice but it's hard to be friends with her when her son is Dream... poor Foolish, though.

Connor - I don't know how to feel about him - I don't have anything against him but... he just seems like someone I wouldn't get along with so I don't hang out with him. He is kinda funny tho

Dream - Ok, ok, he's just an ass - I'm not even gonna list why, you know why... I'm just saying. - I do feel bad for him since Quackity just beats the living shit out of him and he's already in prison so why...?

Dream XD - I fear no man... but that thing... it scares me. - Why his voice do that?? - I avoid him but if he approached me, I would be ok with being his friend, I mean he's a god. If I don't then I might die. Might as well use it to the fullest extent I can.

Eret - I don't really understand why he joined the opposing side during the L'Manburg war - I mean she's cool! I like their outfits and it's nice to have another queer person on the DSMP - I think we'd be good friends in another life, but our friend groups don't overlap very much, so it's hard to hang with them.

Foolish - Little bit scary ngl - Lightning go brrrrrr - I feel really bad for him since he's gotta be related to Dream and he died during the egg shit. That's just cruel. - also I don't really vibe with his personality but I do like to talk to him about his building ventures since I also love to build

Fundy - I feel sooooo bad for him - He's super cute, super sweet, and he just deserves more love - I plant sweet berries around his house to brighten his day whenever I can and I also feed his fox - I love to talk to him and he teaches me dutch sometimes because it's an interesting language. Also, he just deserves a good role model in his life... Like Will kinda sucked as his dad, Schlatt was not a good role model, and his friends don't really care about him. :( - Um also (IRL) he's the reason I started watching the DSMP, I love coding and Dutch so it was a very good mix for me

George - I sleep the opposite amount that he does. - I love his mushroom aesthetic but I stay away from him in fear of Dream XD. - I don't have a lot to say about him since he's not on the dsmp much

Jack Manifold - Yo he's lowkey annoying??? - Give Tommy his hotel back??? He died??? - If he were nicer to Tommy I'd be his friend but he's gotta get his shit together lmao

Jschlatt - Fuck that guy - bruh, he ruined L'Manburg?? - He drinks too much, not surprised he had a heart attack oof

Glatt - Ghost Schlatt gives me such chaotic evil vibes - I enjoy his presence much more than I enjoy his living presence. - I like the fact that he's kinda useless and can't do anything. It's like going to a zoo to see a creature you wouldn't want to see in the wild

Karl Jacobs - I feel bad that he's losing his memory, he's such a fun character. - I like to hang out with him but he makes me sad and also our friend groups do not vibe with each other oof

Niki Nihachu - She's super sweet and absolutely terrifying. - I love to help her bake and its super fun to try out new recipes with her - People really underestimate her and in return for her help with the baking, I help her train her fighting skills.

Philza - DADZA - I get in trouble with him a lot oof, I like to troll people so it happens quite a bit. Also, I take the blame for a lot of the stuff Techno and I get up to as well as with the bench trio. - He taught me how to sew and crochet so I can make my own clothes. I also build with him whenever he asks for help

Quackity - Scared. - He's rude and evil and I dislike him... gambling bad - I like Charlie and I think he's a good influence on Quackity but tbh I feel the same as Techno in this scenario. I am not a Quackity apologist!

Ranboo - I have the same vibe as him. We are one and the same. - I keep an eye on him during his enderwalks, he worries me sometimes. - Out of everyone in the bench trio, we get along the best. I take care of Michael sometimes when he's out doing Snowchester stuff with Tubbo.

Sapnap - I mean I dislike him a little, he throws off my vibe. - He's on the wrong side of everything imo, just stop being weird, big man... - Also I mean I don't understand why he threatened Dream with torture if he ever escaped. Like you don't have to tell him that, just do it? - We have very similar voices (IRL oh no) and so I'll mess with people by doing my best impression of him

Skeppy - One of the many victims of my trolling (with techno usually) - He's fun to hang out with for a while but I can't handle being around him for too long, he gives me a headache - Sometimes I wonder if he's actually made out of diamonds... should I kill him and see what happens?

Charlie (Slimecicle) - BEST BOY I LOVE HIM - HE'S SO CUTE DAP ME UP - Honestly, we get along soooo well, he reminds me of a slime for some reason, hmmmmmmmm - I try to teach him human-ness because if he doesn't want to look like a slime then there's no reason for me to say no

Technoblade - Ah yes the best one on the SMP - He did not like me at first, I can be a bit annoying oh no - Eventually, he got a soft spot for me since we have the same sense of humour and I love to mess with people - I sympathise with him, he deserves so much more than he's getting. - I wish he didn't express his emotions as anger all the time since it really affects everyone. He's got some anger issues and I try to deal with them with him.

TommyInnit - Omg I still find him annoying but I love to hang out with him like Wilbur does. - He needs to learn some boundaries but he is still a kid, so it doesn't really matter. I think people have to stop being little shits to him since his brain hasn't fully formed, like all adolescents. - He's very sweet sometimes and I appreciate his assistance in a lot of random tasks

Tubbo - I am allergic to bees so we can't hang too much - I like to chill with him and Ranboo and sometimes him and Tommy, but I'm always telling Tommy off for being a little shit to Tubbo. - I do not approve of his governmental ways, but his heart is in the right place. Also, why do you have nukes?

Wilbur Soot - Too much government, I do not approve - not a good father - Eventually, he stopped governmenting so whatever, no more animosity from me, eh?

Ghostbur - Awww he gave me blue - how dare he die twice - I love friend, I walked him sometimes. So glad he has infinite canon lives - I wish he had more time on the SMP, he's super sweet and his vibe is amazing

Revivebur - Alright he's kinda cool, I like his hair. - He doesn't have any governmental plans thank god - He's a bit worrying but he hasn't done anything yet. I'll just keep my eyes on him.

That's it, just doing this for fun! I have a lot of things in the works, don't worry! If you're curious as to what I'm working on, take a look at my masterlist (it's on my page at the top where my asks are) If you do have any asks please give 'em to me, I love to write for you guys :)

THANK YOU FOR 80 FOLLOWERS!

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inmyarmswrappedin · 4 years ago

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[1/3] Wow uh didn’t know my ask to Flora would rile you up so much :) You can call my message ‘embarrassing’ all you want but I really was just curious to hear her thoughts. I never called Isak’s season ‘perfect’ either btw? I just find it hypocritical a bit that fans of certain remakes scream about how good their rep is without usually mentioning some of the issues that I included, while Skam fans apparently can’t even praise the show

[2/3] anymore over having a well-written gay storyline bc of the lack of diversity. So my question to Flora was basically just starting a discussion over whether people (as in the Skam fandom? Again not sure why that caused you so much consternation) have decided that simply adding more queer characters of all kinds takes precedence over the quality of the writing, etc. Is that not a valid

[3/3] question? I think so, but you can disagree obviously. And as I pointed out, the ideal would be to have both a large variety of queer characters AND quality writing, but the only one to hit both fully so far is Druck’s new gen. Anyway, thanks for publicly calling me stupid :)

Hi anon! 🍄 God I love this ask.

I didn’t publicly call you stupid, I called your ask “fucking embarrassing” and lowkey called you an asshole for your very disingenuous question. You know, if we’re going to correct each other on what words we actually used and what not.

Also I wouldn’t pat myself on the back so hard if I were you, I mean for riling me up and/or causing me consternation, because being cranky about things is like basically my whole shtick since I first joined tumblr. I could fart and then make a post full of consternation about my farts and it’d track with what I usually do here, tbh.

I will give you that many eskam fans don’t give two shits about the lack of ethnoracial and size diversity on eskam. (I rarely go one week without mentioning it again, but we’re talking fandom at large.) But to boil down all of Lucas R’s time on the show to the (shitty af) Lucas/Kasim relationship is disingenuous, when in s1 he challenged the trope that gay dudes are underhanded little shits who want to ruin his crush’s relationship, a trope Eva invoked and he rebuked. And then, on his youtube channel, he covered things that even Skam didn’t cover, and on the topic of gay/Muslim relations, he and Amira had the best take on the bench scene on said youtube channel.

I really don’t agree with you that Druck fans don’t criticize the show enough. I’ve even seen posts saying that Druck stans are so fucking intense and obsessive about calling out every shitty choice that it makes casual fans feel bad about enjoying Druck without noticing the flaws lmao. I really have no idea which Druck fans you’re talking about that “scream about how good their rep is without usually mentioning some of the issues” that you included, because that’s not at all my experience with Druck fandom. Hell, this was a fandom that had to be told to stop saying they liked s6 “despite its flaws” gvhvh. Druck stans will talk about David’s public outing until the cows come home, and lol Druck breaking winterberg up and including an eleventh hour female LI for Mia was such an unpopular choice that saying you like Victoria gets you side eyed.

Skam France is shit, but like, most of its stans know that and roundly mock the show for it? I think it’s mostly Elu stans who have claimed elu is better than evak. I honestly can’t think of many current Skam France stans who would defend the writing. (Either way I don’t really hang out much in the skamit, skamfr or wtfock fandoms.)

Once again, you’re making your question about quantity vs quality, because it’s not difficult for you to relate to/project on cis white mlm boys. So, for you, all these storylines are created equal and are equally relatable/projectable. And, once again, I will tell you that some people prefer to see storylines that reflect their own experience closer, such as a wlw or a trans dude sl. And yes, they will consider that better because they will like it more. I just can’t get over you calling people hypocritical for hyping up a storyline they see themselves in. If we all judged the writing in the Skams the way you judge the writing in (only) the remakes, none of these shows would pass muster. Not even Skam. In fact, Skam wouldn’t be near the top because, throughout the whole show, it kept mocking wlws in a way that a lot of the other remakes didn’t (including Skam France!!!). Like, you’d think for a show as praised as Skam for its gay rep, sexualities other than gay men wouldn’t be mocked (not even talking about queer women here!), and yet pansexuality is treated as the punchline to a joke in one of the two occasions the word is uttered! Once again, not mocking other sexualities is a low bar that a lot of the remakes you mentioned managed to clear.

You know, in the end the thing here is that you don’t want anyone to tell you, “Skam really only covered one experience” when you’re hyping it up, and like. Fine. We all have pet peeves. Like I said, I like Victoria (I just find Tijan Marei such a delight tbh!) and I would like to see approximately 99% less legit criticism of her. But like, when people criticize Victoria (which is every time Mia’s bisexuality or Druck s4 is brought up btw), I think of Tijan Marei’s little face, I don’t go sending asks like, “huh so do you dislike Victoria because you have something against women of Circassian descent? :) hey I’m just asking a valid question here. :) didn’t think that would get you riled up. :)”

#ask #skams adjacent discourse #also ftr and as I already mentioned #I think isak's season is perfect tv #I don't think it needs to be improved #like I don't personally think david is a better even because he didn't cheat for instance #nor do I think matteo is a better isak bc he didn't shit on his mom's mi #lol idk where I was going with these tags #but needless to say I don't think skamfr or skamit or wtf made *the story* better #and eskam and druck simply told other stories #Anonymous

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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years ago

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Oooh yeah the first time I was playing as a female mc because I wanted to romance ava and I usually go male mc if I want to romance a man and female mc if I want to romance a woman (and I think there was one book with where mc could be non-binary so I picked that one but I didn't finished the book), and Stacy's brother felt Hetero™ in a way, like Hollywood ish (? Honestly like cinematographicly bad hetero) but I ended up really loving Andy too, and Stacy felt a little flat but also I really liked her potential, like go crazy girl, and the mom issues.

Apart but holy shit you're 10000% right about that teacher like who inmediately threatens expulsion just like that for something not violent ??? And to an honor student with way too much on his plate ??? Obviously it would have been bad with any student, but you have literally the reason of why he's doing it and as a teacher HE LITERALLY COULD HAVE HELPED WITH IT ??????? Like something teachers can't really help students because it's a family thing only or is a financial struggle or etc but it was literally because of school (and his family, but the teacher could have heloed him with the school part)

(Identity thief anon (also I go by any pronouns ahhshs))

ur valid! that's lowkey what i wish i'd do (picking female MC if my fave LI is female and the other way around, i mean) but unfortunately i always go into the stories blindly having no idea what i'll find </3 so i cant really do that doiajdiosa and then i get attached for the MC i picked so i feel bad about changing their gender/name/appearance when i replay. so what i usually do is that i pick a male MC when i get the option because A- u don't always get the option, so i end up being male half the time and female half the time either way; and B- i feel slightly more comfortable with a male identity than a female one. like i'm still nonbinary and i wouldn't consider myself male aligned or within the gender of Man, but like... when i first came out i went by any pronouns but then because im afab everyone was like "cool, she/her only it is" so i was like fuck that and stopped using she/her. so i feel slightly more comfortable with a masc MC and end up going with that

there's also the fact that it always feels slightly genderfucky to have a male MC because choices is so sexist and also always writes the stories assuming ull pick a female MC, even when they give u the option not to. so when u pick a male MC he's very like not toxically masc and some things they add to make a QuiRkY MC that are very white woman and would feel annoying are actually kind of subversive for my black and brown male MCs. so like another win for queerness /j

ILITW MC in particular i feel has HUGE nonbinary vibes like no reason at all he just does <3 maybe it's just that for once the male clothes for ILITW actually fUCK. i wanna dress in that goth outfit <3 so gorgeous ugh. i love him even tho he's a fucking dumbass

also there's a book where an MC can be enby? worm? ive only ever read one book in choices with any enby characters at all (america's most elligible, books 2-3) but they weren't even a LI which is disappointing cuz they were a billion times superior to any of the LIs. sorry america's most elligible LIs fans

also oh connor IS the epitome of white cistraight man even when u play as a man tbh, like he was just so cistraight to me daouhdsaojdasij he kind of annoys me but also i forget that he even exists until he shows up onscreen and choices starts trying to push me into his lap and i'm just like, ugh, not again

and yeah i think i feel a similar way about stacy. i don't dislike her as a character and i don't feel like she as a character felt flat, her growth was very interesting and i loved seeing her start to challenge her mom like YESSS GO GIRL GIVE US EVERYTHING, she just felt flat as a LI to me ig? like idk i didn't feel chemistry between her and my MC personally, but also like, stacy girls are valid u know

right exactly. like i don't think ppl really understand that a school that doesn't drive people to cry during finals week and feel absolutely crushed by having to be there and that makes ppl feel like they're stupid, not enough, and overwhelmed IS IN FACT POSSIBLE and actually pretty easy to make when we stop treating students like statistics that will get the school more clients/funding (depending on whether it's a private or public school). and like as a teacher getting my degree in brasil it just feels completely surreal to me that anyone would see a student who's so overwhelmed by the amount of extracurriculars and responsibilities he feels like he has to take that he starts taking drugs to help his performance despite it affecting his health, and see that as like... something morally reprehensible? like it is bad that it happened but it's not the student's fault, what's morally reprehensible are the circumstances that led to his decision, not his decision

and like it is very much a systemic problem, more and more kids are taking focus pills to be able to survive the pressure of school and have a shot at a future, either on their own or because we are actually medicalizing not existing to be productive. and if it's a systemic problem then the fault is at the system?? and like holy shit i legit don't understand why choices gave us options like being like "it still isn't enough" when lucas gets rid of his pills, what do you mean it isn't enough??? enough for what??? to FORGIVE him???? for something that only hurt himself??? for something that is very much a systemic problem and therefore NOT HIS FAULT????? literally what the fuck even is this, lucas doesn't have to "make up" for a single thing, he needs to be HELPED is what he needs

like idk i know that the school system in the US is...... extremely backwards lmao which is not a term i like to use because it usually implies imperialistic views but the US is the height of world imperialism so like actually idc. brasil has a pretty progressive constitution and as a teacher my whole education was focused on being critical of the school system, particularly the productivity obsession, and drilling into us again and again that we aren't supposed to just be teaching subjects, we are also supposed to be teaching how to be a citizen, be a critical human being, work towards building a better future, and learning and growing AS A PERSON to be healthy and happy are values of the school system

like that's easier said than done when schools are under insane amounts of pressure by companies in practice to be productivity-driven, and most teachers who actually want to do a good job end up having to live at the edge of the knife and constantly fighting back outside pressure, but at least it is very much a mandatory part of our education to become teachers and also like literally part of the constitution. so i just... i can't fathom reacting the way mr cooper did? like as a teacher i felt BETRAYED, i felt like he shat all over my profession because that is the opposite of what we should be doing, this is a kid who needs help

and just like hOLY SHIT HE DID NOTHING WRONG, what are you punishing him for??? it's not even a like, stealing bread to feed your family situation, because what he did HAS NO VICTIM OTHER THAN HIMSELF, and therefore HE IS THE VICTIM NOT THE CULPRIT. he doesn't have to repent or atone or answer for a single fucking thing, he didn't victimize others, he doesn't have to apologize, there's nothing to punish him fOR??? like i don't believe in punishment anyway cuz im a prison abolitionist but doDAUSDJADASIJDAS???????????? HE DIDN'T. HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. WHY IS THIS WHOLE GAME ACTING AS IF HE WAS IN THE WRONG. OH MY GOD

it's like saying that someone needs to be forgiven for self harming????? like how is it that someone has been hurt continuously until it led them to hurt themselves and then they have to? make up for it to a bunch of other ppl? my god it makes me so mad and i genuinely don't understand the logic, like usually when i see someone doing fucked up shit i can see the logic but i don't agree with it, but this time i genuinely DON'T SEE THE LOGIC. my USan friends said it was because he was technically doing drugs but like i legit still don't understand

anyway any school that drives a student to do something like that needs to rethink their entire curriculum and the psychological effect it's having on kids, because lucas is 1- not even the first one according to mr cooper; 2- even if he was, that'd be the only one who got CAUGHT; and 3- even if there was really only one singular student who went tHIS far, i doubt the others weren't feeling that same pressure and dealing with it in other similarly unhealthy ways

i know that's probably easier in brasil than in the US even if it's by no means easy here because here at least in public schools the curriculum and political-pedagogical plan has to be agreed on by the school community (teachers, parents, students, workers, and anyone who lives in the area of the school) and it's updated every year, so like, you have more means to do something to change the school in a deeper way, altho of course that still has to mean swinging the rest of the community, but still. but at the very least he could have looked for counseling for him? tried to find a way to take some of the workload off his shoulders? given him some more time on assignments? motioning for all the clubs he was the president of to have co-presidents so he was less overwhelmed?

like there was just daodsao he could have done so many things and he justs DIDN'T he chose to not only punish him instead but quite literally THREATEN HIM WITH DEATH because that's what calling the police on a latino student over a drug charge is. like he might've survived but the possibility that he would fucking DIE was very much there, and i know choices didn't think of that because they'd rather die than think about the racial implications of anything but holy fucking shit. and im not even getting into how mr cooper is BLACK because then ill just start biting people like thanks for putting that threat on a black character's mouth choices. if u need me ill be foaming at the mouth

anyway SORRY god why is it that i always get to the salty part within 2 seconds of joining a fandom i promise that i actually like it lives and the way they handled most of their plot, i genuinely think it's a very well written and actually worth ur time story but i just doadosaida like i said particularly as a teacher in the context where i'm being taught, plus with all my political beliefs, i just can't let it go aaaa

also ty for telling me ur pronouns! idk if i assumed them at any time, i don't think so but i might have done so without realizing and if i did im really sorry. also sorry for the gigantic salty reply daojdsaojdaisjsajdoadsaodasj rip me i never shut up

#it lives spoilers #ilitw spoilers #it lives #salt #long post #drugs tw #cops tw #police brutality tw #racism tw #victim blaming tw #anti connor green #ilitw #lucas thomas #ask #identity thief anon #self harm tw

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tonyglowheart · 4 years ago

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I genuinely don’t understand people who say aspecs are queer BUT NOT kinky people. If you’re into BDSM, if you’re polyamorous, if you’re celibate, if you’re hypersexual, if you’re in an interracial relationship. It’s all related. These are sexuality/relationship/lifestyles that don’t meet our society’s standards and are underrepresented or represented negatively and so i think they are all queer

Anon I am having thinky thoughts but also I lowkey don’t want to get into this too majorly bc I got into this several years back during said campaign I mentioned in the tags on that rb post lmfao and it resulted in a whole Thing and I like... don’t have the energy to get into internet arguments with people anymore because I’m old and tired and can’t deal with the back and forth of me making points, them ignoring the majority of my points in favor of some strawmen or appeal to extremes, me addressing that and also some points including maybe where they DO have a point about some facet I failed to consider but have now, them ignoring that and repeating their same talking points, me addressing their points again & pointing out their ad hominems that usually have come out at this point and other logical fallacies, them ignoring that to repeat- and ultimately, we’re kind of talking past each other and I’m mostly appealing to whatever audience might be around. (I think I might have priv’ed or deleted a bunch of posts from back then but some may still be up somewhere in my archive lmao.....).

So on that kind of note I don’t... necessarily want to get into an argument or debate (not necessarily with you, possibly by some other anon passing through who is much more inclined to picking a fight with me about the Affront to Them Personally as well as the sanctity of the movement) on whether or not being kinky itself constitutes being “queer” per se bc I think the terminology is a sticking point and I do kind of see the perspective of “kink doesn’t make you automatically queer” **HOWEVER** yes I do also agree with that post I rbed that like kink/fur do rather constitute “queer subcultures” even though not every single person in there is LGBT+ in a more “traditional” sense - such as speaking more towards like sexual orientation & gender identity - and that these kinds of “alternative” lifestyles do present a “queering” (*a* queering) of ^ sexuality/relationships/lifestyles or whatever we might term that. And maybe that’s what I was struggling to articulate all those yrs ago lmao, when I was young and full of the energy of the Youthe and could get into internet arguments with ppl. The like respectability politics of trying to be sanitized enough to be “acceptable” to a hostile and rigid mainstream while alienating queer subcultures, which just results in the queer community at large cutting off parts of itself to try to be/remain “acceptable” but that just leads to self-harm to the community at large vs addressing more global/bigger picture issues.

Hrmmm okay I think what this whole issue of terminology and what gets to be called “queer” kind of gets to: they’re related, as you say, but that being varying shades or scopes of marginalized, but that doesn’t necessarily make it all “queer”? Because.... tbh I can see why the full-stop is a sticking point for people, and I do kind of think operationalized terms have more value when they ARE applied with scope instead of trying to generalize it too broadly, and queer does mean something quite specific (or.. maybe not specific, but rather that “queer” DOES have parameters, tho they may be more of like a soft-shaded parameter as opposed to some kind of hard fence)?

But I do agree that usually a lot of the language people against various other kinds of marginalized identity aspects uses, mirrors, & parallels language used against other things, like language against queer people/queer relationships & interracial relationships, and that communities would be served better with solidarity rather than trying to excise or disavow other communities - ESPECIALLY communities which have a lot of overlap with the queer community and also are historical and current allies - in a futile attempt to be “respectable” enough for the hostile mainstream and its evermoving goalposts.

..But maybe I’m just quibbling a point here, because while I don’t know if I’d call kink/fur/etc “queer” and the term “queer subcultures” seems to fit better for me, this does point to “these subcultures have room within queer spaces and in fact were there at the inception of ‘queer spaces’ as we kind of conceive of it today in USmerica” (idk fur but the kink community was definitely there). And then this gets into a more philosophical question of “well if it belongs in queer spaces is it not then ‘queer.’” This may be a “this topic is complicated and multifaceted an these different arguments based on different needs and with different axes of foci can coexist.” Ultimately, I think it does come down to “exclusionary rhetoric against a marginalized identity/community - especially one that is aligned, if not overlapping or otherwise part of the “core community” at the heart of this issue - is more harmful than helpful because the goalposts of respectability will never stay put and the language used by the hegemony against one group often is reused/paralleled/mirrored in language against another marginalized group, and can very easily be turned again back against you.”

Speaking more towards the arguments re: the 'coming out' campaign backlash, like back then I was fairly active in the m/m romance GR community & more in touch with ppl who were part of kink communities who were part of the m/m GR comm, and like based on what they told me/we talked abt following the whole backlash against “coming out kinky,” is that ppl DO in fact lose their jobs get disowned get evicted etc if they're 'outed' as kinky. Which then directly parallels the vanilla queer experience. I think a sticking point back then was that 'born this way' rhetoric was more prevalent back then, and ppl see kink as more of a 'lifestyle choice' and less about something 'inherent', and also some ppl were just flat-out like 'um ew it's sexual harassment'. But I think if you look at various dynamics of kink there's like lifestyle kink which isn't necessarily inherently or always sexual so like I don't think it's automatically a sexual harassment thing, ig for me it's like... ppl reacting with SUCH backlash against the idea that kink could/should be allowed within the concept of queer spaces and that echoes that post about assassination of queer subcultures, and like coming out isn’t always “I fuck xx” or “I fuck in xx way,” like if you come out as gay you’re not necessarily describing in explicit detail to your mother the ways fuck, you know? I think for me the “coming out” thing also was kind of like... is it safe for you for people to find out x aspect about you? And I do rather think there’s greater hostility towards these kinds of subcultures, which would then perhaps elicit or illustrate a reason why we might want to normalize or educate people better on what exactly constitutes the precepts of the subculture, vs whatever popular idea of it is prevailing at the time?

..I think ultimately we go back again to “this topic is complicated because there’s many intersectional issues as well as competing needs so there’s not a one-size-fits-all ‘answer’ to the questions/issues brought up”

#queer tag #Anonymous #asks answered #long post

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that-curly-haired-lesbian · 6 years ago

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The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo + Taylor Swift: a master post - Part 2/6

Hi guys, welcome to part 2 of my masterpost regarding parallels between Taylor Swift and Evelyn Hugo, the fictional actress from the book The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo by author Taylor Jenkins Reid!

Before proceeding please be aware that there will be

**MAJOR SPOILERS**

for the book ahead and please also read my disclaimer!

It’s very important that you read these in order so if you haven’t yet go ahead and check out the previous part right here, thank you and enjoy!

Monique goes home for the weekend consumed by the question “who the hell was Evelyn Hugo in love with?” This goes to the point that she finds herself no longer dwelling on her own relationship problems, but instead focuses on Evelyn’s love life for the whole weekend. (pg. 37)

This of course is similar to how Taylor’s fans and media instead of relating songs to their own love lives and experiences or writing about the quality of the music are obsessed with finding out who in her life she wrote the songs about. (x)

Essentially Taylor’s stories substitute or overpower fans’ own love lives and her love life overshadows whatever could be written about her in a professional sense…Apparently??

Similarly instead of wanting to ask Evelyn something regarding her remarkable career (or her childhood, or what have you) Monique finds herself immediately drawn to (both as a journalist and a consumer, she’s sure to point out, just like how both the fans and the media are drawn to this aspect of Taylor’s public persona) asking about the men in Evelyn’s life, which is frankly, a very sexist angle to take.

When it comes to Taylor fans and media seem especially interested in (or unable to let go of) Taylor’s “relationship” with Harry Styles and likewise Monique’s best guess for who the love of Evelyn’s life could be is the appropriately named Hollywood producer Harry Cameron aka beard/husband #5. A man who we later find out (pg. 72-73) is not only very flamboyantly gay, but also Evelyn’s best friend and closest confidant, the friend who she trusts to tell everything without fearing it might get out.

At her second wedding Evelyn and Harry have an interesting conversation, Evelyn asks Harry why he’s never tried to flirt with her (like most men she encounters in the industry has after all.) He asks Evelyn if she ever wanted anything to happen between them (since she’s the one asking him about this) she says no, but Harry catches onto the fact that Evelyn wanted him to want something to happen and she offers:

“’And what if I did? Is that so wrong? I’m an actress, Harry. Don’t you forget that.’ Harry laughed, ’you have actress written all over your face. I remember it every single day.’ ” (pg. 72)

In response to why nothing has ever happened between the two Harry vaguely implies that he’s gay and Evelyn immediately gets it, but says nothing about it until years later when Harry is the first person she comes out to after realizing her own queerness. After which the two agree to always tell each other everything.

Harry’s vague coming out at the wedding is however not what interests me about that scene, instead it is the use of the word “actress” of course in Evelyn’s case this is literal, she is in fact an actress, but it’s Harry’s response that causes me to reach…

On the surface his comment seems to be him admitting that despite his preference for men he can see that Evelyn is an attractive woman (like actresses generally are), but if we are to put this in a different light let’s consider that Taylor often either uses the word “actress” in her songs:

She's not a saint and she's not what you think She's an actress

I’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams

or implies that she’s playing a role a few examples being All of Blank Space, and I Did Something Bad and parts of Don’t Blame Me.

I’ve gone on record in my analysis of the song Better Than Revenge as saying that the acting theme may be a reference to bearding and if we are also to look at the fact that Harry comes out to Evelyn in this scene it reads to me as if the underlying subtext is someone who beards (like Taylor) asking a gay male friend why they have never bearded together despite this friend’s knowledge that this Someone (Taylor) beards a lot (or is an “actress”) the friend agrees that he knows she is indeed a prolific bearder and that anyone with eyes can see she’s gay (the fact that she is gay and beards, or “is an actress” if you will, is “written on her face”.)

This might seem like an extreme reach even for this context, but given the fact that Evelyn and Harry actually end up bearding together later in the book and Evelyn does mention shortly before this conversation with Harry takes place that she sometimes feels like her public persona is someone she’s pretending to be (aka a role she’s playing, just like Taylor implies she feels about her public persona in the songs mentioned above.) I just found the conversation and Taylor’s bearding-connection to the word “actress” interesting in this context…

On Monday Evelyn tells Monique:

“People have so closely followed the most intricate details of the fake story of my life. But it’s not…I don’t…I want them to know the real story. The real me.’” (pg. 38)

Similar to how Taylor told us:

“We think we know someone, but the truth is that we only know the version of them they have chosen to show us.”

“When this album comes out, gossip blogs will scour the lyrics for the men they can attribute to each song, as if the inspiration for music is as simple and basic as a paternity test. There will be slideshows of photos backing up each incorrect theory” (x)

Monique responds:

“’Alright, show me the real you then and I’ll make sure the world understands.’”

Like I said before people like Evelyn and Taylor are famous enough that this flies, they call the shots. Just like we are agreeing that Taylor is coming out in her own time, Monique agrees to listen to whatever Evelyn has decided she has to say. Meanwhile we’ll keep speculating and so does Monique.

At one point she even questions if Evelyn is capable of telling the truth after all those years of hiding it? (pg. 38)

I’ve personally had more than one anon questioning why Taylor keeps “lying” about her personal life and whether she’ll be able to ever stop and just come out? (For my thoughts on all that, please read this.)

As Monique agrees to Evelyn’s terms she’s put in a bit of a bind, given that Evelyn contacted her through Vivant when the story was truly never intended for the magazine but for Monique this basically means that one of their writers is about to steal a story from one of the most famous magazines in the world and she could of course be fired for this. With a sinking stomach Monique realizes that the only plan she has is to lie to her boss about how the story is going and act as if she’s still doing the original piece for Vivant in order to save her own career. (pg. 32)

She even points out later that being fired from Vivant for stealing a story would be disastrous for her reputation in the industry. (142)

I imagine that Monique’s confusion about what to do with Vivant mirrors a young Taylor’s initial unwillingness to “lie” to us (the public and the fans) regarding her sexuality at risk of losing her contract with a label.

Being let go from a contract and a label for making her sexuality publicly known would’ve been disastrous for her reputation in the industry and probably harm her chances at ever being mainstream famous/get on the radio. Had she gone against the advice she was getting at the time and made her sexuality public knowledge/decided to sing about girls or whatever she could’ve lost her career, her job.

In Monique’s case she would literally be fired form a job, in Taylor’s case it’d be more in the sense of falling from grace in the court of public opinion, or being left out of the community in Nashville. Something that country singer Chely Wright has mentioned was a legitimate fear for her upon coming out. (x)

When Frankie does find out what’s going on this is what happens:

“’She used us to get to us?’ Frankie says as if it’s the most insulting thing she can think of. But the thing is she used me to get to Evelyn, so…” (pg. 142)

This scene is yet another reminder that it’s all power play, a game and lowkey blackmail in the entertainment industry and that everybody does it, even the media.

…Baby let the games begin

And so Evelyn’s story starts once and for all. She tells us how she wanted to run away from her abusive father after her mother died and how she at fourteen romanticized Hollywood and believed her life would get better if she could only get there:

“It would take me years to figure out that life doesn’t get easier simply because it gets more glamorous. But you couldn’t have told me that when I was fourteen.”

New to town with a made up name in the angel's city,

Chasing fortune and fame.

And the camera flashes, make it look like a dream

You had it figured out since you were in school.

Everybody loves pretty, everybody loves cool

Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen

14* but close enough, right? What I’m saying is, major Lucky One/Fifteen mashup vibes…

Evelyn does eventually get to Hollywood, by seducing a dude named Ernie who is a light technician on movie sets, she doesn’t love him and she lies about her age (she says she’s 16 when she truly is 14) but she gets a ride to Hollywood as she puts it, out of their marriage (pg. 44)

Having arrived in The City of Angels Evelyn does what she has to in order to launch her career and that included doing something rather bold for such a young, inexperienced actress:

“I did something not many other actresses at my level would have had the guts to do, I knocked at Harry Cameron’s door.” (Pg. 47)

This of course reminded me of:

“Hi, I'm Taylor. I'm 11; I want a record deal. Call me.” (x)

At this point in the book Evelyn is 16 or 17 and not yet explicitly queer, so that isn’t what Harry (here representing the movie/music industry) points out they have to “get rid of” when it comes to Evelyn’s image if she wants to make it. Instead, when Evelyn does get her audience with Harry Cameron she’s immediately told she has to get a more American-sounding name (her maiden name was Herrera, and now being married to Ernie her name is Diaz which in the industry’s eyes isn’t much better) and dye her hair blonde.

Instead of her queerness it’s her Hispanic heritage that has to go, in Taylor’s case however, it was of course the queerness, even in the early days. Moving to Nashville at 14 (just like Evelyn and Hollywood) Taylor signed with Big Machine Records at 16 and after seemingly previously being out she was back in the closet by the time her first album was being recorded.

To begin with Ernie is supportive of Evelyn’s attempts to make it in acting, but eventually he gets resentful when she doesn’t wanna be a house wife or give him children. This understandably frustrates Evelyn:

“I’d told him I was someone else. And then I started getting angry that he couldn’t see who I really was.” (pg. 47)

Of course I wouldn’t truly know, but I don’t think Taylor has ever used someone as a beard/for PR without their consent the way that Evelyn does to Ernie here, but if it is to be claimed that Taylor Swift did what she had to get her career off the ground then the obvious example of this would be her closeting, she told us she was someone else (with the aggressive heterosexuality of The Old Taylor™) she thought the closeting was a price worth paying for the professional success, at first…and then it started to frustrate her that she couldn’t be open to us about who she really is.

Just like Taylor though, Evelyn is all too happy to agree to the studio’s bigoted terms if it means she’ll get to be an actress, so she agrees:

“And in so doing I set the star machine in motion.” (Pg. 50)

Hmm, interesting choice of words, Evelyn…

As Evelyn’s image is starting to take shape Harry introduces her to the concept of bearding or in this case, since she hasn’t realized she’s queer yet, “dating” for publicity:

“The studio thinks it would be a good idea if you were seen around town with some guys…*proceeds to list various fictional male celebrities*” (Pg. 52)

So Evelyn Swiftly (pun intended) divorces Ernie and starts being seen around town with fellas of New Hollywood™

Here she shares her thoughts on those early days of bearding:

“I was OK with it for it for two reasons. One I had no choice but to be all right with it because I didn’t hold the cards. And two, my star was rising. Fast.” (Pg. 60) (x) (x)

“Don and I had been seen around town, our photos taken at every hot spot in Hollywood. … And we knew what we were doing, parading around in public. I needed Don’s name mentioned in the same sentence as mine, and Don needed us to look like he was part of the New Hollywood. Photos of the two of us went a long way toward solidifying his image as a man-about-town.” (Pg. 68)

Bearding 101…

It’s not just bright sides to the bearding and PR though, on page 56 Monique calls Evelyn “calculating” that word (or a less kind option, “manipulative”) is often thrown around by both media and antis when describing Taylor both in her professional life and in her love life…. (x) (x) (x)

There are also dark sides to not just the bearding but to fame and Hollywood itself as we’ll soon find out.

At this point in Evelyn’s story she has genuinely fallen in love with one of her PR boyfriends (she’s bi and don’t you forget that) and so they decide to get married and at first Evelyn’s second marriage is going swimmingly (again, pun):

“We had pool parties nearly every weekend, drinking champagne and cocktails all afternoon and into the night.” (Pg. 74)

*TIWWCHNT plays loudly in background*

However sadly Evelyn is about to learn just why they can’t have nice things, it turns out her new husband Don is both physically and emotionally abusive and it doesn’t take long for him to start regularly hitting her and this ruins the glitz and glamour of Hollywood.

“I’d made my way three thousand miles from where I was born, I had found a way to be in the right place at the right time. I had changed my name. changed my hair. Changed my teeth and my body. I’d learned how to act. I’d made the right friends. I’d married into a famous family. Most of America knew my name. and yet…And yet.” (Pg. 78)

And they tell you that you’re lucky.

But you’re so confused,

'Cause you don’t feel pretty, you just feel used.

“I got up off the floor and wiped my eyes. I gathered myself. I sat down at the vanity, three mirrors in front of me lined with lightbulbs. How silly is it that I thought that if I ever found myself in a movie star’s dressing room that meant I’d have no troubles?” (Pg. 78)

The same sadly seems to go for a singer’s dressing room I’m afraid…

Just like in Taylor’s case it’s not just Evelyn’s personal life that gets affected by various PR strategies though, her career does too. Ever since Evelyn heard that the studio was planning to adapt Little Women she’s been pushing to get cast as Jo and Harry is saying she will get that role, if she agrees to doing a few more run of the mill movies alongside her famous boyfriend. Evelyn all but rolls her eyes and asks Harry if he’s saying she should be predictable in her career choices, Harry denies this:

“I’m saying you should be predictable and then do something unpredictable, and they’ll love you forever” (Pg. 67)

This strikes me as very similar to what Taylor did in her transition from country to pop, she put out three full-on country album and then came RED and Taylor famously said that album isn’t “sonically cohesive” why? Well, it straddles the line between the two genres, but not enough to make anyone uncomfortable, it’s still country, she’s still being “predictable” and THEN she dropped 1989 her first 100% pop album and just as Ha-I mean Big Machine probably predicted, we loved her forever!

Evelyn agrees to not doing Little Women right away and admits she didn’t have much choice in the matter:

“My contract with Sunset was for another three years if I caused too much trouble, they had the option to drop me at any time.” (Pg. 67)

While I fully believe that Taylor is in charge of her PR these days we cannot forget that she was a minor when all this started and back then I think she let “the adults” handle her PR, she would do whatever they thought was best as long as it’d get her on the radio long-term, including staying closeted. However, now that the contract with her old label is up and the Rep tour has basically been one giant glass closeting event we’ll see what’s to come in terms of bold PR moves.

When she finally gets to do pop Little Women Taylor Swift Evelyn Hugo meets Karlie Kloss Celia St. James. Celia is an actress too and they become fast friends complete with Celia calling Evelyn out on her bullshit over milkshakes:

“So many women around here are full of crap in everything they say and do. I like that you’re full of crap only when it gets you something.” (Pg. 97)

Just like Taylor Evelyn is genuine…for the most part and Karlie and Celia know this.

Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me

Flashback to my mistakes

My rebounds, my earthquakes

Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me

You must like me for me

Both Evelyn and Celia realize that Celia is a better actress than Evelyn while Evelyn is better at playing the PR game than Celia, so the two agree as their friendship blossoms to teach each other what the other knows better.

Evelyn says about Celia:

“She did teach me to find moments of emotional truth in false circumstances.” (Pg. 101)

This is of course in regards to acting, but it made me think of what Taylor’s early girlfriends and her exposure to PR games and bearding must have taught her, to find moments of emotional truth in false circumstances. That’s how she can write and sing songs with the wrong (male) pronoun and make it seem so genuine, she projects the feelings she has for the women she dates onto these wrong pronoun, it’s like I pointed out before, to some degree Taylor has always told the truth about her own emotions, even when she’s hid them behind male pronoun and false heterosexuality the emotion has been real all along. Moments of truth in false circumstances.

Even genuine friendship can be played up for PR in the world of celebrity and when Evelyn has to deal with some bad publicity Harry suggests using a shopping spree with Celia to get Evelyn back in the tabloids’ good graces.

It has been speculated over the years among Kaylors and non-Kaylors alike that parts of Kaylor’s 2014 glass closeting could have been played up to “get Karlie’s name out there.” Even genuine friends (or girl pals) call the paps from time to time, but in this case Harry’s suggestion that they could “call Photoplay and let them know Evelyn and Celia will be on Robertson” is shot down by a scheming Evelyn with a better idea, she is going to fake a miscarriage to get some sympathy and make the press eat their words about her “not giving Don a baby.” (Pg. 102-104)

“’How did you learn all the underhanded, sneaky stuff you know?’ Celia asked. ‘I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,’ I said coyly. ‘You’re smarter than you let on to just about anybody.’ ‘Me?’ I said.” (Pg. 109)

We play dumb but we know exactly what we're doing

Taylor is smart, she knows just how to play the game. See: Blank Space.

Similarity Evelyn has learnt the industry by now, she manufactures her own scandals, playing with her own narrative for professional benefit.(x)

One night when Don is away somewhere (probably in the club doing I don’t know what) Celia comes over to Evelyn’s and they drink some wine…As you can probably tell it’s about to be gay up in here! Celia calls Evelyn the most gorgeous woman to have ever been created and Evelyn immediately counters, saying Celia is a KNOCKOUT with her BIG BLUE EYES

(Karlie’s eyes do look blue in some lights…See: “Oh damn, never seen that color blue”)

The night continues and as it gets chilly the girls decide to make a fire…Yes, seriously: “I asked her if she knew how to make a fire. ‘I’ve seen people do it,’ she said, shrugging. ‘Me too, I’ve seen Don do it. But I’ve never done it.’ ‘We can do it,’ she said. ‘We can do anything.’” (Pg. 109)

(s)he built a fire just to keep me warm

What follows is all from page 111-112:

As the night progresses Celia spills some wine on herself and has to borrow a clean shirt from Evelyn, they go into the bedroom and Celia decides that now is the right time to get personal. She asks Evelyn if she loves Don, Evelyn is caught off guard and finds herself answering that she used to love him but doesn’t think she does anymore. Celia asks if it’s all for publicity and when Evelyn denies this Celia asks if she’s sexually attracted to Don (and by extension, men in general) Evelyn says yes, Celia is jealous and uncomfortable and she seems to feel she’s said or asked too much. The scene that plays out embodies:

Is it cool that I said all that?

Is it chill that you're in my head?

'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate)

Is it cool that I said all that

Is it too soon to do this yet?

Just like these lines from Taylor’s song could (in my opinion at least) represent sneakily trying to find out if your new crush is gay too and worrying that the questions will make them uncomfortable as the subject is delicate. Celia’s awkward question seem to really be her trying to ask Evelyn if it’s cool that she thinks of her in a gay way and that she talks about that fact?

The word delicate even shows up in the scene when Evelyn describes Celia as being more delicate than her when trying to find a clean shirt that might fit.

Finally she does find a shirt and hands it over to Celia who comments on how gorgeous it is, Evelyn agrees and confesses she stole it from the set of one of her movies and asks Celia not to tell anyone. As she takes off the soiled shirt Celia says:

“I hope you know by now that all your secrets are safe with me?”

Evelyn comments on how she’s sure that line was something Celia said casually, but that it meant a lot to her nonetheless. Because as Celia said it Evelyn realized she believed her and she’d never had that with anyone.

“People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is ‘You’re safe with me’ — that’s intimacy.”

Secrets and truth (and intimacy) are, of course a huge theme on Reputation:

1. “No one has to know” (…Ready For It?)

2. You've been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks, so here's the truth from my red lips (End Game)

3. But when you get me alone, it's so simple/ But when I get you alone, it's so simple (So It Goes…)

4. “Your love is a secret I’m hoping, dreaming, dying to keep” (King of My Heart)

5. “I loved you in secret” (Dancing With Our Hands Tied

6. “Our secret moments in a crowded room” (Dress)

7. “Even in my worst lie you saw the truth in me” (Dress)

“I wondered if this was what it felt like to love someone? […] To throw your lot in with theirs and think, ‘whatever happens, it’s you and me’”

Don't read the last page But I stay when you're lost, and I'm scared And you're turning away I stay when it's hard, or it's wrong Or we're making mistakes”

Celia goes to put on the shirt and says that she’s not sure it will fit her, Evelyn says that if it does fit Celia can have it.

Other people we know share/wear a lot of similar clothes too.

Just as Celia gets her own shirt off and Evelyn starts checking her out (spoiler alert: it’s really gay) Don enters the room and teasingly asks just “what is going on in here?” Just like that the spell is broken and Evelyn hurriedly assures her husband that “Absolutely nothing” is going on in that bedroom.

Here Don represents the shippers and the media alike starting to question the nature of Kaylor’s relationship during the height of their glass closeting forcing Taylor to assure “Don” aka us that “absolutely nothing” is going on between her and Karlie, but I’m getting ahead of myself, more on #Kissgate later…

Anygayyyy, let’s just say that those two pages are, as they say A LOT™ for my Kaylor feels!!

Thanks for reading, please read part 3!

#tshoeh #tshoeh spoilers #the seven husbands of evelyn hugo #gaylor swift #kaylor #masterpost

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violetren · 7 years ago

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You know what my queer ass wants from the next season of Frontier?

I want either Elizabeth Carruthers to go to Fort James looking to set up connections, or for Grace Emberly to go to Montreal for a fresh start making her own business, and for Samuel Grant to go into lowkey panic mode.

He’s too arrogant to act like he believes they could ever be a threat to his business but he does what he can to make sure they don’t meet, even going a little out of his way to try and manufacture some hostility between them, because he might be a chauvinistic windbag but he’s still a fairly shrewd businessman as well.

And of course both women catch onto the fact that odd circumstances keep preventing them from meeting. They also notice, that their strategies seemingly keep clashing and causing problems between them, even though a quick examination of how they each handle their business with others suggests that there is no motive for why they should clash as often as they do, even as competitors in the same industry. Realising there is more at play they decide to officially meet up.

It takes all of two seconds of conversation for them to figure out it’s Grant’s interference getting between them, and two seconds after that to agree to work togther to take his slimy ass down. There’s some tension over who gets how much and which parts of Grant’s assets when they take him down but that kinda gets tabled. They can better figure that out when they see what’s left to take after destroying him.

After both being told repeatedly that they’re businesses are too small, and too female they decide on a partnership. Merging their businesses together to become a larger force for others to contend with. Grant is still wont to dismiss them, but everytime he does the feeling of cold lead settling in his stomach grows.

He does his best to ignore it however keeping his focus on taking over Fort James from the HBC. Benton is on his last legs, his wounds from the night Declan Harp was rescued and escaped, have turned septic. He’s in misery but also in denial. He’s determined to survive even more obsessed with catching Harp, and now moderately obsessed with capturing Michael Smyth too. Captain Chesterfield thinks its only a matter of time until he’s finally governer but he’s getting impatient, and overly arrogant (more so than normal).

He’s acting as if he’s already governer, which is pissing off Benton, which in turn gives Grant plenty of opportunities to grab at power. The women let him. It’ll be much easier to take down HBC if Grant has done most of the work for them, too focused on that to realise they’ve been planning how to take his company out from under him.

Elizabeth and Grace are both very aware that if they can get the native people to trade with them rather than either of the men that it will give them a massive leg up and make all of their plans much, much easier. Not that their plans necessarily hinge on acquirining trade deals with the Lake Walkers, but it wouldn’t hurt to have them.

Grace knows they’ll have a better chance of getting a deal or a share of a deal with the Lake Walkers if they get Declan’s help. Harp however is still M.I.A. So she seeks out Sokanon instead.

They agree to get Sokanon what she needs in order to find Harp, and to give her, Michael, and Harp shelter after they bring him back, and if Benton is somehow still kicking when they get back, to help Harp get rid of him once and for all with out killing himself in the process. Just so long as Sokanon can help them convince Harp to help them get a deal with the Lake Walkers afterwards. Which will be easier said than done since they’ll have to eliminate and/or replace the Okimaw just to be able to approach the Lake Walkers for business, but they’re all relatively confident they can work it out.

Time passes. Shenanigans, politics, murder, business, adventures, and romance all occur.

Benton and Chesterfield die.

Grant drags his distitute ass back to Montreal, lucky to be alive.

Grace and Elizabeth control pretty much all trade in Hudson Bay.

Harp has survived his quest for revenge and is starting to heal and move forward. He and Grace are a thing, flirting with the idea of marriage. He helps with the business where he’s needed but there is no mistaking that Grace and Elizabeth are the ones at the helm.

Sokanon more often than not acts as the go between for the company and the Lake Walkers, instead of Harp. Pretty well everyone has decided (and Harp grudgingly agrees) that it’s healthier for him to be off the frontlines of the business for the most part, at least until he gets used to not looking over his shoulder for Benton and his schemes anymore.

Michael mostly stays with Sokanon. Things are good between them, possibly in a romantic sense, possibly in a platonic they trust as respect each other more than almost anyone else. Most likely in both ways. Even so Sokanon will occassionally hand him off to Harp, playfully complaining that Harp was the one that decided to take him in, so Harp should take time to teach him some stuff instead of leaving it to her. Not that Michael needs much teaching these days, but the guys enjoy their bonding time.

Elizabeth mostly focuses on doing her part for running the company, and staving off all of the men hoping to get a hand in it by marrying her. She may or may not spend her nights with Graces’s girl Mary. (You all saw Mary seduce that Captain, and Elizabeth is played by Katie McGrath, they could totally pull off some insane chemistry if put together).

Everything is about as good as it can be for that setting and time period. The majority of the main characters are alive and content, happy even (aside from Grant who is alive but definitely not happy or content).

#chirping wren #frontier #grace emberly #elizabeth carruthers #declan harp #sokanon #samuel grant #michael smyth #lord benton #captain chesterfield

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miseriathome · 7 years ago

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I have some complicated thoughts about aro discourse I saw today and I think that some people with good intentions still need to work on respectability politics and amatonormative biases.

Lowkey bad discourse shit:

One of those “aro folks can enjoy romance-related things!” posts. Somebody included this whole thing about how preferring one night stands doesn’t inherently make somebody aro, and in fact demonstrates a dislike for commitment over anything related to romantic attraction. They even included the phrase “serial sexual partners” which is basically crime-coding sexual freedom. And it seems like such a double standard to me that the same person can support platonic non-romantic sex practices but scorn non-platonic non-romantic sex......... so really, their support of aro-spec folks is contingent upon whether or not their sexuality is rooted in some form of deep interpersonal relationship (as deemed by the observer). Which I’m sure not only paints aplatonic sex-favorable aros in a bad light, but also splashes negatively onto folks who desire both deep interpersonal relationships and also sex, but without overlap. And given that I, myself, am an aspec who greatly enjoys the one night stand life but is understandably limited to a potential pool consisting almost entirely of some type of allo folks... I can think of tons of reasons why a hypothetical aro person might not want to entangle any sort of long-term emotional relationships with their sexual doings (for example: I have been stalked before by partners who grew feelings). So at the end of the day, this person’s whole thing about one night stands and commitment just perpetuates the “arohet frat boy Chad” image except Chad isn’t explicitly aro; it’s swerf shit wrapped up in respectability politics, where throwing undesirables under the bus makes the aro identity easier for the public to swallow.

Also:

Another “aro folks can enjoy romance-related things!” post. This time, it’s about how an alloromantic (or otherwise romantic attraction-experiencing person) can date an aro/spec person, and the latter--despite not reciprocating the attraction--can engage in the relationship in a way that still satisfies their partner. However the poster included a bit along the lines of “as long as everybody in the relationship is aware and consents, it’s okay.” Which I feel like is pushing the whole “you have to tell your partner you’re aspec” agenda that aphobes have, through the implication that not informing the attraction-having partner is manipulative or otherwise abusive. Moreover, that puts me and quite a few other (questioning or label-fucked or attraction-experiencing arospec or closeted) folks in a difficult boat by placing an onus of responsibility onto us, even though we may not realize or be sure ourselves what’s going on with regards to attraction. After all, romantic attraction is a subjective social construct, and thus incredibly difficult to pinpoint, define, or identify for some people. So not only is it not my responsibility to announce if I’m questioning my attraction at any point, or if I’m unsure what kind of attraction it may be, but it’s also not the responsibility of any other queer person to out themselves or their questioning status before they’re ready, and expecting aros to do so sets a really bad precedent in that regard. In my opinion, “we both enjoy the dynamic we have, even though we might interpret what’s going on a little differently because we haven’t discussed every last nuance” is good enough, even though it might seem dubious to others. Like I honestly don’t think “withholding” a potentially arospec identity is any more abusive than “withholding” information about being mspec or trans (read as: none of the above are information that partners inherently have a right to). And so to that degree, this is another double standard that aro folks are being held to.

I’m sorry if the posters of these things see this as an unwelcome vagueblog; they’re pretty old posts and I don’t want to dredge them up--especially since I don’t follow either person and would have no idea what kinds of character development they might have undergone since then. I’ve also found that people tend to be incredibly unfriendly to anything that even resembles confrontation, even if it’s prefaced by “I agree with literally everything else you stand for” (true story), so honestly I’m just vagueblogging for my own sanity.

Writing that second recap, it occurs to me that “allo is not useful terminology” might have some merit as an argument, if only in the (rarely-explored) sense that it cannot be used synonymously with “attraction-experiencing” without sanitizing all respective aspec identities into “pure” ace/aro-ness, spectrum and nuance be damned. Allonormativity is absolutely a useful concept, but any use of allo to refer to a group or identity has to allow for the vagueness of proximity, much in the same way that perisex doesn’t exactly mean “not intersex” but “close enough to meeting the social criteria of normative biology that intersexuality cannot be reasonably suspected” (or rather, this is how I understand the distinction between perisex and dyadic). So rather than being “attraction-experiencing” or “not ace/aro,” it should be “experiencing normative attraction to such a degree that adopting an aspec identity provides no benefit” or something which acknowledges the existence of “almost indistinguishable from allo, but still aspec in some way” identities.

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