#ALSO if the weights make no fucking sense i am sorry i have an absolutely terrible understanding of height to weigh to muscle ratios

[diegosumbrella]

My observations from s4 of Umbrella Academy

I dont even wanna talk about the main plot of whatever the fuck that car crash of a season four was, but heres some plot discrepancies I noticed while watching Umbrella Academy.

!! Season four spoilers under the 'see more' !!

- Luther's unnecessary body change

It's stated so clearly in s1 that Luther never gained his body from the marigold or developed it along with his powers. When he was up on that mission on the moon, he had an accident and Pogo had to donate his blood which resulted in Luther having that monkey body we all know and love.

So as Luther drank that said marigold, why would he suddenly gain back the blood donated from pogo and the body that comes along with that..? It's as if the writers themselves forgot why he had that body. Why write in unnecessary body dysphoria for my poor baby?

- Diego's sudden appearance of ab's

Listen. I am the last fucking person to complain about a Diego Hargreeves shirtless scene, where you see his pecs quite literally bounce BUT why did he change so drastically from 'dad bod' to suddenly 'ripped'?

I read an article interview with Steve Blackman and saw a few snippets from a podcast that explained that David (Diego's actor) didn't want to gain weight for the role, which is totally understandable. But if you have an actor who doesn't want to gain weight for this role, why not just keep Diego as fit?

Due to the short six episodes, it's extremely easy to miss how Diego slowly becomes more fit as time progressed. For most, and also myself at first, that fighting scene just looked confusing as fuck. Like two episodes before, Lila was calling you 'tubby' (or whatever the fuck she said), so why do you have abs now?? Where did the dilf diego dad bod disappear to :(

- Allison's beloved Ray just leaving her

I'm not sure if i'm taking this the wrong way completely but... In the scene after Allison had given Klaus the marigold against his wishes, but also to save his life. As Klaus is calling out every member of the family, he mentions how he 'took care of Allison when Ray walked out'.

Like i'm sorry but the fuck do you mean Ray just walked out?? Why did he leave Allison if she had no powers. She'd clearly built a better life for herself and began to change her mindset for the better, compared to s3 she's drastically better.

It's never explained (probably again for the lack of episodes) and it's never even mentioned again. Like does Allison share custody of Claire with Ray? Does Claire even see her father? I have so many questions and once again, a severe lack of answers.

- Klaus breaking his five year sobriety

As much as us as an audience are aware of Klaus' addictive tendencies and his utter thirst for form of drug in the former seasons, but why establish that he's not only been sober for three entire years but he's also now a huge germaphobe just for him to ruin it in five seconds.

The main problem I had with this is the fact none of the siblings, including and most importantly Allison, had zero reaction to this. They weren't upset, angry, disappointed or fuck it even happy. They practically ignored the fact their brothers three year detox went out the window.

Five's ability to time jump

Before I get you all jumping up my arse, i'm fully aware I could discuss how they completely just fucked his character development and his entire personality as a whole for a shitty romance that made absolutely no sense but I'm gonna make a separate post on that because oh boy do I have some shite to say.

ANYWAY.

I can't even go into much detail with this one but why is it that every time five attempts to do his time jumps, he ends up in that subway but when he does it with Lila in that end episode.. he can suddenly just jump..?? normally?? Like why. Why can he now only just time jump as he used too. WHY WAS THE SUBWAY NEEDED FOR OTHER THAN FOR THAT AWFUL FIVE X LILA PLOT????

It's as if the writers couldn't come up with a way to get the brellies into that building with Ben so instead of using critical thinking and writing them breaking in, they just said 'fuck it make him time jump with Lila'. Like no I have questions??

[kaciebello]

Sibling rivals, sibling allies

Masterlist

Nico Di Angelo x Hades! reader (platonic) Summary: Nico was aware his sibling loved him, to the point that lectures were inevitable. Warning: Angst, Siblings written by an only child, no use of y/n Author note: English is not my first language so I am sorry for any mistakes beforehand. I am not very good at angst so I hope I did this some justice. I also tried to make it gender-neutral as the request did not specify, however, this is my first time writing like that so I am sorry if I missed anything. All right to the artist of the fanart, I could not find them, but if you do, let me know and I will tag them.  Proofread by me and me only (Ｔ▽Ｔ) request: Yes word count: 1,3k Song: Lean on - Major Lazer ( ft. MØ, DJ Snake )

 Sibling rivalry was something everyone expected when having more than one child. And who especially expected it were the Greek gods. They even encouraged it. Sadly, for Hades, his children got along and refused to fight each other.

Usually, Nico would play mythomagic with them or just lazily exist in the camp. Only a few people would talk to him. But he is used to it now. That's why he was confused when they ran into the Hades cabin and suggested training with said two. He agreed nonetheless, not wanting to disappoint his last older sibling, and he also thought Percy was okay-ish.

That is why he was standing in the area, watching them absolutely beat Percy's ass. Annabeth was standing beside him but did not look very happy about what was happening. He can't blame her, he would not be either if the roles were reversed. Also, the Hades children weren't really known for their good temper, so it made sense.

So when Percy tapped out, he wasn't surprised. However, the girl next to him made her way to help her friend up.

“Close your mouth, flies gonna take it as an invite.” They said, slightly tapping his chin to close it. Nico glared at them but did not argue. they were covered in sweat and breathing heavily. Nico was sure it was from the sun, not the fight, as he dubs Percy would give it much. If anything they more likely only tickled each other with swords. Although he was warned, that activity can cause accidental stab wounds and immediate visit to the infirmary.

The other two campers joined them. Percy bleeding from his scratches and Annabeth frowns on her face. He knew it was his turn now. That's what they agreed on. He did not think putting him, a child of one of the 3, against Annabeth was fair. Granted, were it a few months back when he thought he had a crush on her, before releasing he had a crush on Percy, it would have been harder to fight her.

“Come on whip, it's our turn.” Says Annabeth and gestures her knives at him. Nico can only tighten his hold on the sword he was holding. He takes a few steps to face her.

“Annabeth.” Sounds behind him warningly. The girl in question just huffs before charging at him. He moved out of the way, but it was like she already knew his steps before him and stuck him in the leg.

He winced but kept on his feet. She charges again, but this time he manages to avoid and block her from sighting him. Annabeth did not like that. Not only she was a fast thinker, but Nico would also forget she had been trained by Luke, one of the best swordsmen in the last couple of hundred years. Annabeth strikes again and Nico has no time to even register what is going on. She slashes his Achilles. Nico yelps and falls, having no strength to put weight on his leg. Annabeth manages to get hold of his sword. She was not standing above him with the tip of his sword at his throat.

“Get up,” she says with a sinister smile. He won't admit it but he was scared for a moment. That was before Annabeth got slammed by his sibling and rolled away. Percy yelped in surprise and went to help Annabeth while the siblings helped each other. 

“What the fuck was that for?” Argued Annabeth once she regained her composure.

“You immobilized him! What the fuck do you mean get up!” His sibling yelled still kneeling next to him. Nico has sat up now, trying to move his leg but when pain shot up he decided against it.

“Monsters are not gonna hold back just because he can't stand!” Annabeth was now making her way to them. Percy was trying to stop her but was very unsuccessful.

“Monster my ass Annabeth. You knew very well what-” A roar cuts her off. All of them freeze in their spots. A rustling in the trees got their attention. A distant yell is what got them moving. Nico felt four arms lifting him.

His sibling and Annabeth were trying their best to get his limping ass away from whatever there was. Percy was surveying the area when he saw it.

“Fuck.” Was all that left him. there stood, an automatic bull, as big as the house. All of their eyes widened as they tried to hurry up. unfortunately, the bull has seen them and charged at them. Nico could feel his weight bearing but only on Annabeth as his sibling went to aid Percy in trying to distract the beast. He wanted to stop them, but he was no use at the moment.

Annabeth stops and props Nico on a tree.

“What are you doing?” He hisses and she just rolls her eyes.

“I'm going to help them.” She says making sure Nico is comfortable.

“You can't leave me here.” Nico could see that she took that as a challenge. before she could leave him however they both heard Percy yell. turning their attention to him they can see a giant boulder heading their way. Nico makes eye contact with his sibling before he feels something tackling him on the ground.

“NICO” Was all he heard before the world became black.

 When Nico came to his senses, he thought that perhaps, Dad pulled him aside, that maybe travelledow travelled. And Brehabs a small hope of seeing Bianca was there. However, when he heard his sibling absolutely destroying their vocal cords from the yelling, he knew he was mistaken.

Opening his eyes, above him stood a well-known Apollo kid, his name was Will or something like that. The light from his hands makes Nico turn his face away and to the side. Only to be faced with a comic view. Annabeth sitting on a bed having her hand looked after by a different Apollo kid. Percy is next to her, holding her other hand. And his sibling, going off on both of them, mostly Annabeth by the looks of it.  Annabeth's head was hung low, it was apparent that she got an earful from Percy beforehand.

Nico is enjoying the situation. Not only is he not getting reprimanded, but he is also getting taken care of by a cute guy. His freedom is shored, however, as Percy nudges the other Hades kid and points to him.

His sibling turns to him at lightning speed, when they see he's awake, they rush to him kneeling by the bed. He can see they are worried even when all of them are out of immediate danger. When they saw he was okay they jumped in for a hug. Will jumped back startled and Nico could only groan in pain. Letting him go just as quickly as they hugged him

“Sorry, I just. I just thought I would have to bargain with Dad.” They say with a smile on their face. Although tears were streaming down their faces making them look a little bit hysterical.

Nico smiled at them.

“I'm fine, I did not even see Dad.” He says, trying to reassure them that he in fact did not die and came back. They just chuckled and nodded.

They all sat in silence for a few minutes before Annabeth with Percy walked up to his bed.

“I'm sorry.” She says. Nico expected her to continue but she didn't. So Nico just nodded, taking in that they were all still startled by what happened.

Next to him, his sibling stood up. It was like a switch turned in in them. Manually they made both Percy and Annabeth sit down at the end of his bed. They took a deep breath before starting.

“I am lost for words!...”

And despite being lost for words, they continue to yell at them for the next 45 minutes. Nico would not want it any other way.

Tag: thefallensacrifice

[mpregandproud]

Isaac II (Part 7)

Once Isaac and I got back to fucking all the pieces of my life were back in order. There was something missing in my life and that was to feel my husband skin to skin. Yes, we've been together for 20 years, but living each other to the fullest again made all of this make sense again. With my previous pregnancies, the sex was one of the biggest attractions, so something was missing here.

Fewer kids around the house made things easier for Isaac and I to make up for lost time. My rest forced me to be home practically all day, added to the fact that the boys were practically out of the house all day between school and extracurriculars and that Isaac works from home, meant that in just a few days we were more than catching up.

So much cumming inside me made my belly start to grow at a much faster rate. I guess it also affects that the caloric expenditure of all this exercise we are practicing is leading me to eat a lot more. Not to mention that between months 5 and 7 the fastest growth usually occurs, and I'm right in the middle of it. Nothing I haven't experienced before.

As for our children, Sandra and Cal informed us that they wanted to travel to his parents' home country soon. Although we thought it might be risky going into their fifth month of pregnancy, they were really looking forward to sharing this moment with Cal's grandparents before she gave birth.

As for Patrick and Isaac, they are somewhere between scared and very horny. If my hormones are raging, they, in the midst of adolescence, are unbearable. This situation got a little tricky when the high school principal called Lucas and I into his office because the boys were caught having sex during a break between classes in the student restrooms.

Lucas and I didn't know where to jump in when we got there and saw the two boys waiting to go into the principal's office. They both stood up with a start and looked very embarrassed. They had better be embarrassed, they had been caught making love in a bathroom, what less to be embarrassed about. Two guys with bellies that rival mine doing this kind of dirty stuff in a public place, it can't be right. We went into the principal's office with them.

“Gentlemen, we know that your children are a couple, and we have no problem with that, but it can't be that they are having intercourse in the bathroom,” said this elderly gentleman with incredible seriousness.

The moment was very serious but Lucas and I couldn't help but laugh. I remember that in our student days Frank was caught having sex with half the school. In one of those encounters he conceived his first child, Frances. We both remember when he and Stephania were pulled out by the ear in front of the whole school.

“Excuse me Mr. Principal, it's just that we experienced this in our student days and we couldn't help but remember our friend Frank. You are absolutely right, this can not be repeated, we will talk to them,” Lucas told him, as I was still laughing at the situation.

Both were expelled for a week and had to commit not to repeat this behavior. At home we talked to them and agreed that they would not do it again, that at home they could let off steam as much as they wanted, but outside the house they could only hold hands or kiss each other. Deep down I feel sorry for them, because they are living their adolescence to the fullest and without barriers. The madness of youth, who could live it again.

A month after their trip to Africa, Sandra and Cal sent us a beautiful photo of the two of them. She already had a huge belly and they looked happy and radiant. Isaac and Patrick have entered into a kind of competition to see how many times a day they can fuck. Blessed youth, not even the fact that they were already huge at six months pregnant didn't stop them.

In my case, at eight months, I am starting to feel the weight of pregnancy. If before I could go for walks around the house, now I was locked in my room practically all day long, lying in bed. Isaac often came to give me his medicine, although not as much as I wanted.

The last month of pregnancy went really slowly, but I guess that's what happens when you can only eat, watch TV and fuck sporadically when your husband isn't working or taking care of a house full of minors.

The thing is that with a week to go before my due date, I started to feel intense discomfort. My belly dropped, it became hard as a rock and the contractions started to be too intense. The problem was that this situation didn't improve for three days, and my water wouldn't break for any reason. So it was time to resort to extreme measures. “Isaac, honey, it's your turn to get these four out of me like you did with the previous ones, like only you know how.” He nodded and started to take off his clothes, already my man was coming to save me.

Go to Part 8

[aihoshiino]

Helloooo :DD

I was wondering what would you do differently with OnK's ending?

The ending just felt absolutely off to me and quite lackluster in general to me. Like I kid you not, I think I envisioned a completely different ending for the series when the chapter of Ruby and Aqua showing Kamiki the DvD (can't exactly remember what chapter it was) and the call with Nino happened. I legit thought they would make it were Kamiki just..turned himself in after everything? I..I could be tripping but didn't he say something along the lines he was going to make things right?

Maybe in a sense, I am sorta defending Kamiki because I h a te how he was portrayed as this mastermind who is evil incarnate like no. THAT'S MY HUSBAND RIGHT THERE!

And I suppose I also wanted a happy ending where Kamiki and Aqua didn't die because of how emotionally invested I had become with this story.

ANYWAYS ENOUGH SENTIMENTALITY, AI SLAP SOME SENSE INTO YOUR DUMB SON (AFFECTIONATE) AND YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND IN THE AFTERLIFE

ok i feel slightly insane answering this ask because there was DEFINITELY another ask in my inbox re: an alternate ending that specifically focused on fixing up Kamiki's characterization and letting Aqua live and i REALLY LIKED IT and I was going to publish that one first then come to this one and be like 'basically this lol' but. That ask has vanished???? I assume tumblr arbitrarily ate it for some fucking reason which I feel very bad about because it was VERY long so anon who sent me the "Kamiki & Aqua live but Kamiki is the one to tell Aqua's lie to the press & police, thus taking the fall for him" alt ending PLEEEEASE SEND IT AGAIN I'M SO SORRY BUT KNOW THAT YOU COOKED

Anyway uh like I said ^ that anon's ending ^ would've been pretty ideal to me, at least in terms of like... realistically working with the material we have. To the best of my memory, it diverged following the end of 163 and had both Hikaru and Aqua wake up in hospital. Aqua gets a big come to Jesus moment from all the people who love him and finally, properly realizes the full weight of his life and his desire to live it - not just as something to burn to ensure the joy of others, but to share in their joy and to find his own as well.

Hikaru, seeing this, realizes that he still has the opportunity to do the one last thing for Ai he talked about and before Aqua can fess up, tells Aqua's cover story to everyone - including the police and press - and thus takes the fall, accepting his punishment and allowing Aqua to go free.

There was also a bit where Akane visiting Aqua privately sort of implicitly let him know she figured out the truth and made it very clear he was not to pull any horsepiss like that again!!!

I think the note it ended on was Ruby & B-Komachi at the Dome and a distant finale with an ambiguous/implied AquKana end or at least a confession.

THERE WAS MORE and again I feel so bad that the anon's ask got mulched because it was genuinely really good lol. BUT YEAH, that would be my ideal ending just based on the material we actually had in the manga, I think.

[stusbunker]

Tattered: The Prodigal’s Redemption

A SPN ABO Fan-fiction Series

Featuring: Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader, Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader, Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader x Alpha!Dean

Word Count: ~4575

Warnings, etc: Hospitals, at risk pregnancy, hormonal imbalances, amnesia, claiming, little bit of blood, Sam and Dean tag team smut, emotional sex.

Series Masterlist

Special shout out to @lastactiontricia​ for putting up with this series the entire time.

Sam

I’ve never been more grateful to be heading back to Bobby’s. Dean’s been an ass this entire case—- it wasn’t even a case, just infiltration and trying to secure a way in to end Dick Roman. But it took longer than we had hoped.

Though the IT girl, Charlie, seems to think it’s all doable. So, we’ve got that now that Garth has some sort of ancient spell tablet that is giving us some sort of direction. Thanks to a new prophet named Kevin. Poor kid.

The stress of being away from our Omega is making us both snippy, but Dean must be close to rut or something because I want absolutely nothing to do with him. His scent even seems off, which doesn’t make sense, I’ve been around him since he’s presented. He’s never smelled this— gross.

We’re driving through Sioux Falls when I get a text from Bobby and my stomach gives out.

“Turn around,” I might yell. 

Dean’s head whips around and he glares. I hit the call button and side eye him as I wait for Bobby to answer. “They’re at the hospital.”

“What?! Is she okay?!” Dean growls.

“I don’t know, Dean, that’s all Bobby said. ‘Meet us at SF General.’”

He pulls an illegal U-turn and floors it. Bobby doesn’t answer, but he texts again saying to not come stomping in. He gives me a room number. I know it’s her, otherwise she’d be the one texting us. I just don’t know if it’s the pups or —-

“They’re on the fourth floor. The Omega Health Pavillion.”

“Fucking hell. We never should have left,” Dean curses and changes lanes.

“Yeah, and who’s idea was it?” I remind him under my breath, trying not to crush my phone in the palm of my hand.

“Now’s not the time,” Dean warns, not taking his eyes off the road.

I chew on my words and let him get us there— to her. The hospital security are in our faces before we can make it to the elevators. I force myself to not rip their throats out. 

“Sorry, but, official business.” I flash a badge, not even sure which one it is and shove it in both guards’ faces.

“And him?” the older Alpha guard challenges, leering at Dean who is reeking of anxiety.

“I left mine in the car, tub-o, there’s an Omega in danger. Are you gonna let me go or do I have to call your boss?” Dean’s not doing any better than I am, but he’s also not trying to reel it in.

I glare at my brother over the guards’ heads. Dean rolls his eyes and waits out their unnecessary permission.

We could have just said we were next of kin. But two claims—- it’s not really heard of anymore. And they wouldn’t have let us both go. Or either of us.

I worry over the legalities of our situation as Dean punches the floor number on the elevator, forcing the doors closed.

“How long has she been here?” Dean asks like I know anything more than what I’ve told him.

I shrug. “Dunno. Bobby just texted.”

Dean stares at the screen with the increasing digits like it will speed up under the weight of Alpha fury. I try to keep the frustration out of my scent. Dean is too far panicked to pretend to be professional about anything anymore.

I’ve always hated the smell of hospitals, even though they keep the air purified and the surfaces sanitized, you can always smell death. Or loss. Fear is probably the most unrelenting, but it’s the most understandable. And I know we both leave a heavy wave of it behind on that elevator.

The nurse’s station doubles as the security checkpoint, and I can smell pregnant and lactating Omegas from all directions. Dean stops and waits as I check us in, forgoing the badge to keep them from asking more questions.

The nurse tells me, “follow me Dad, we’ll get you to your Omega.”

I nod in gratitude and pointedly don’t look at Dean as I follow her and her mauve scrubs down a corridor away from the scent of fresh pups, to another, shorter hallway blanketed in quiet vigil.

“Bobby?” Dean marches past the nurse when he spots him waiting outside her door. “What the hell happened?!”

Bobby nods at the nurse and she only pauses briefly to scent the air and leave us in peace. Then, finally, he explains. She’d been having more cramping and was feeling faint. He made her go in to check it out on Monday.

“Wait, Monday?! It’s Thursday, Bobby. Why are you telling us now?!” Dean says what I’m thinking.

“She didn’t want to worry you until we knew what was wrong,” Bobby shrugs, but I can tell he never liked the idea. He was just doing what she wanted.

“Is she awake?” I ask.

“I didn’t tell her you boys were on the way, she’s gonna be pissed that you’re pissed. So cool your jets before you burst in there, but I think having you back will at least even her out enough to get out of here.” Bobby sighs. “Or at least I hope so.”

I need more than his hunches. “What are the doctor’s saying?”

“Hormonal imbalance. Like the pregnancy is fighting her. Oh, by the way, there’s three pups. Which they’re also monitoring. Only like twelve-thirteen weeks along, so none of them are viable yet, but yeah.”

Bobby explains like he didn’t just completely break us both.

“Three?” Dean gapes.

Bobby cocks an eyebrow. “You wanted more?”

“I just— three?!” I am not processing this. We knew there was a chance of having multiples, especially with two Alphas, but that’s a lot—- 

“I’m going to check my messages and get some grub. I’ll check in before I head home.” 

“Of course, Bobby. Thank you.” I say before he walks away. 

Dean looks like he’s doing math in his head and I can’t really blame him. “What does he mean by viable?”

Oh.

I sigh and weigh my options. “It means they won’t survive outside of her, yet. They’re too small, underdeveloped.”

“Okay, yeah. But, by chance, with all your reading, you know how long before they could?” Dean is trying to increase her chances while not putting the pups in danger, I can tell.

“With multiples there’s a much higher chance of premature birth. But if we want to keep them, they need her as long as possible. Another twenty weeks would do it, but the ideal? As long as possible.”

“Cuz forty is full term.”

Impressed, I nod. “Yeah.”

“Do you think I smell okay to go in yet?”

I inhale and try not to gag. “It’s hard to tell. You’ve been off to me anyway.”

Dean glares and breathes deep, closing his eyes. I feel him try to force himself to relax. Which, when does that ever work? His heart rate goes down at least.

“She’s exhausted,” Dean mutters, trying not to pace. “She missed us.”

I reach out and try to sense what he’s getting. We’re close enough, she’s probably getting a read on us too, but she hasn’t outright said anything or called us in yet. I’m not as good at it as Dean is, I’m not sure if it’s time or just something he’s better at, or maybe my own worry is clouding over my other senses. I don’t want to dwell on it right now, but he had to say something. Like he’s translating.

“Yeah,” I just agree. “Me, too.”

Because, of course I missed her. But also, I don’t want to sound surprised. He eyes me and inhales, psyching himself up. 

“You coming?” Dean nods to her closed door and I stop short of going in before him.

Her whole room smells of home and anguish.

Dean’s on now, he’s smiling softly and easing inside. I forget how much of him is bravado anyway. I close the door quietly behind us and walk to the side opposite of Dean. Naturally, we each gravitate to the side of her that bares our marks.

She hums in her sleep and her face softens as she catches our scents in her dreams. Dean can’t stop himself from touching her, just a small brushing of her hair behind her ear. It doesn’t wake her, but I know that he’s checking her temperature as he does it.

She’s okay. She’s not thriving or anything, but it feels good just to see her. I pull the blankets up and rest my hand on her stomach, feeling the belt they have tucked around her middle to monitor the babies. I try to find their heartbeats, but they’re so small and so fast, I can’t pick them apart.

It’s enough, for now.

Dean asks me a silent question and I nod, but I think he can feel my relief enough. He nods and grips the rail on the side of her bed. And we wait.

Dean

She’s been in and out of the hospital since we got back from Chicago. It seems whenever we’re separated for more than a few hours, she dips again. We’re guessing the hormone fluctuations happen when we can’t be there to regulate her.

The doctors are literally having us do their jobs for them. They are out of their depth with two Alphas fathering a single, if multiple, pregnancy. 

By her third overnight stay, I hate everything they stand for. 

We get her home and into our bed and just nest for an entire afternoon. She’s putting on weight, which is a good thing, but she’s losing muscle. Sam’s been feeding her his green smoothies— all the extra kale you could ask for. And, I’m not even complaining, because whatever helps.

My nose is buried in her hair and Sam’s her big spoon. Just laying in the not-quite-waking haze before one of us gets up to start dinner.

We don’t talk about the pups unless it’s with the doctors, because we know the more we think about them, the more attached we’ll get. Nobody wants to lose them. But it is still a very real possibility. It’s been this silent agreement— nobody wants to be the jinx.

Meanwhile, Bobby’s been deep in the lore. Most of the books that talk of the older styles of packs are more legend than anything. Maybe a few stories of weathering the elements and fighting for land. There’s very little medical knowledge to gain from all that, but he’s trying.

And then there’s the pesky red-headed beta texting me updates from Dick Roman’s central hub. Not to mention, Garth’s lanky ass helping to calm down an anxious honor-student-turned-prophet. It’s been a rough month.

I breathe her in, trying to keep my thoughts’ foot off the damn gas. She still smells like the hospital, but I know it will be gone by morning. We’ll cover her in us until she takes a shower and then start the process all over again. The healthy glow of the early days of her pregnancy has faded into almost a sheen under her skin, like something is leeching the color out of her.

I make the executive decision to order food for pick up. Nobody wants to cook or clean up at this point anyway, Sam can calm down about whatever he’s gonna say about her sodium levels. She needs food.

Besides, it gives me an excuse to go check on Bobby’s research.

Eventually Sam relents and agrees on pizza when I remind him she can’t have subs unless they’re well toasted. So there, pregnancy guru, I do pay attention. Once the food is ordered, she gets extra cuddly, knowing I’m gonna be the one leaving to get it.

I don’t hate that. 

We watch TV, just some nature show or another, me leaning back against her chest as she plays with my hair and just coats me in nesting Omega pheromones. Sam’s on his laptop next to us, half watching half scouting for anything more the Leviathans can subtly do to slowly conquer the world.

It’s when I drop Bobby’s pie off that he tells me he’s found something. And I mentally start packing before I’m even back with the rest of the food. If Bobby’s network says this guy is the real deal and there’s no trapped Reapers involved, then I’ll take what we can get. 

For her, anything. Always.

Reader

I’m staring at a ghost. Or whatever a dead angel becomes.

“Cas?”

Dean’s looking at him like he hung the moon and I can’t help but worry they’re both actually Leviathans. 

“Did you test him?”

Dean scowls at me. “He’s not possessed.”

I ignore his rudeness and look at Sam, he nods and goes inside to find some borax. 

“Y/N? I understand you’re having some difficulty?” Cas is not right. He’s not a power-tripping wannabe God, but he’s shifty. It’s weird to see him out of the trench coat.

“Okay, what is going on?” I cross my arms over my chest and wait for whatever stupid excuse Dean has for leaving us for an entire day.

“‘Mega, this is Emmanuel, he’s a faith healer.”

I swallow a few choice words and look at Dean and then back to Cas. “Emmanuel. Interesting. How’d you find him?”

“Bobby did.”

Of course he did.

“And what do you do? How do you heal people?” I step down off the porch and look into Cas’ eyes, silently daring him to lie to my face. Just one reason and I’d finally get somewhere to put all the anger that’s been ricocheting around inside my head lately.

“I emit some sort of healing energy after sensing someone’s malady. It is localized and requires little contact, if that’s what’s got you so worried.” Cas— or Emmanuel, whoever, explains cautiously, clearly aware how dangerous I can be. Or maybe that’s just from Dean and however he got him all the way out here.

“How much?” 

“I don’t ask for money. And after your mate saved mine, it’s the least I can do?”

I spin and give Dean a face.

“Yeah, found a demon about to ambush his wife trying to get at him.”

“Wife?”

“Little Beta named Daphne.”

“That shouldn’t matter,” Cas-Emmanuel seems annoyed that his wife’s secondary gender is being scrutinized, not understanding what he was— or must still be if he’s healing folks.

I shake my head and feel Sam join us again. “She cute?”

Dean nods and shrugs. 

“Good for you, Manny.” I turn to Sam. “Uh, could you hold out your hand real quick? Just need to ensure you’re not something else.”

Cas-Emmanuel looks to Dean and Dean glares back, he must decide it’s best to play along. He holds out his left hand, pulling the sleeve of his fancy sweater back. Nothing happens when Sam douses his skin with the cleaner. Well, at least there’s that.

“Alright, buddy, let’s see what you got.” I drop my arms and lean into Cas’ space, closing my eyes and waiting for the cool trickle of his Grace.

“Oh, oh my,” Cas-Emmanuel says. “Well, congratulations. But I don’t think I can help this. This is a matter of unmatched claims. Your offspring need equal input from the hormonal parts of their fathers’ claims. It’s almost like they’re experiencing rejection sickness, much like your other Alpha.”

“Rejection sickness?” Sam asks, voice deep and alarmed.

I turn and look up at Sam.

“She hasn’t claimed you back and you share her with your brother whom she has claimed,” Cas says it all so simply, like we’ve been idiots not to realize it. “I assume that’s why you’re short with your brother and his scent is probably more odorous than usual.”

“Sam?” Dean asks for clarification.

Sam looks at me without seeing me, like he just found out the sky is red. “I didn’t even realize—- I thought it was just stress.”

My chest hurts. I didn’t even know he was hurting. My fault. Again, I’ve been the cause of his pain.

“So how can we fix this? Since, apparently, you can’t.” I ask a little huffy, frustrated at Cas’ blunt appraisals and lack of solutions.

He has the nerve to look squeamish. I feel my eyebrow raise and I put all of my annoyance behind it. Dean looks at the ground like he’s in trouble.

“Um, well, I believe if you make even and equal claims your hormones and the fetuses’ hormones will regulate. And your Alphas will be less prone to rejection as well, or at least I would hope.”

I inhale and nod, figure it sounds too easy, but these boys are always whining about something so we better try it anyway. For my pups, I’d do just about anything at this point. I watch Cas-Emmanuel and I hold out my hand for him to shake.

He takes it timidly, but I shake it hard, drag him to me and scent him. 

“You’re still an angel just wearing a person. I don’t know if you’re being dumb or trying to hide something or to keep someone from finding you— or us. But just know we know who you are.” I let him go and see the panic and alarm on our friend’s face.

He doesn’t understand and it makes me even more cautious to be taking his advice.

“Hey! So, how ‘bout some grub, huh? Long drive,” Dean tries to smooth it out. But I keep watching Cas like a hawk.

Sam was making shish kebabs, so I make a salad to stretch the meal for four adults, knowing Dean will ignore the rabbit food anyway. Bobby’s out for the night, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t going to get an ear full from me in the morning about this faith healer of his.

Cas picks at his food, but I can tell he isn’t hungry. He never was.

It’s after dinner while Dean and Sam are doing the almost nonexistent dishes, that Cas slowly comes back to us. We’re walking around the salvage yard and I’m asking questions about his life now. When eventually he realizes he knows the answers to some of his own questions about me and my Alphas.

Cas and I have never been close, but it hurts all the same to see him so lost.

“As a healer, do you know about the different kinds of Amnesia?” I ask delicately, seeing alarm bells flash behind his brilliant blue eyes. He doesn’t respond. I let it settle in his thoughts as we approach Bobby’s porch.

My temples ache and I’m already getting tired, even though the summer sun is still above the horizon. Cas reaches forward and brushes two fingertips across my brow, earning instant relief.

I exhale.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Cas says sadly.

“Don’t know what you’re apologizing to me for,” I mutter. “Or only me— I should say.”

“It was calamity on a global scale,” Cas admits.

“Still is. Fuckers aren’t gone yet,” I huff, opening the backdoor for Cas to file in front of me.

“True,” his pensive reply.

Dean

Cas made it sound so easy, so obvious. The pups were suffering because we all were still tip-toeing around this thing we started. We weren’t all in— hormonally speaking— and they weren’t getting the stability they needed. Knowing Sam had been feeling it too really was the kicker, because I hadn’t meant for it to go that far. Especially knowing how much she’s suffered over the last couple of months.

So, basically, I’ve been a world class asshole.

I do a load of laundry and try to get my head on straight as she and Cas walk around the yard, catching up. Sam keeps giving me this look like he feels guilty but curious and all I smell is relief on him. I’ve been so far into my own head I’m tuning them both out.

What happens if the Leviathans get a hold of us? If Sam or I bite it, is she a goner too?

We need to fix this. Tonight. And pray whatever happens from here on out, the surviving bonds are strong enough to withstand anything that gets thrown at us. We were so close to normal, I’m not risking it anymore. If she needs my mark— I’ll give it to her. I would give her a freakin’ kidney, I’m not seeing it as any less now.

She’s sweaty and tired when she gets back inside, but there’s something behind her eyes that I haven’t seen in weeks and it digs into my chest with claws, latching on tight. Sam gets her some water and we congregate around the kitchen table. She explains how she thinks we can do this best, and how we’ll figure out the Leviathans as soon as she’s stable. And how Cas was sticking around for a few days until we would be rolling out the Stop Dick Permanently Plan.

By the end of the week, this all could be behind us. It feels big and it sounds easier than it is, but so do most things. 

“Okay, go get comfortable— I’ll be up in like an hour and we can go from there.” I usher them upstairs. Sam gets his claim first, beating away rejection sickness had to come first or my re-claiming might have actually killed him— if not the pups.

She’s determined to get it all done at once and I don’t blame her, but I also don’t want to tempt fate. Bodies are complicated and you can’t bank on it all working so easily.

I listen as they get close, like a love song in the background. It’s not quite my style, but I can appreciate the melody. Sam’s a pretty rough guy, and I know he’s holding back because he’s scared.

We all are.

The kitchen is spotless by the time their hour’s up. Plus all the laundry is folded in the mudroom. I rub my hand over my face and march up the stairs. The smell of sex has me stiffening up and the closer I get I catch a hint of blood mixed in. She’s cradled in Sam’s lap, legs around his waist as she laps at her claim on his neck. He’s got some color back and there’s a sense of connection, of rightness mirrored in both of their minds.

Somehow, I don’t feel like I’m interrupting.

Sam nods at me as I start to get undressed, and it’s almost like he’s relieved I’m there.

“How long you been locked in?” I ask clinically, curious to see how much build up I have ahead of me.

“‘Bout ten minutes,” she murmurs, content and dreamy.

“You want me to wait or can I join you?”

She hums richly, like she’s contemplating dessert. My stomach does somersaults. “Hold me? My back is cold.”

“I can do that.”

I crawl behind her, kissing her shoulder before rubbing down her back, then up and down her arms, covering her in my touch. I nuzzle into the crook of her neck and scent her, feeling her steady pulse against my cheek.

She’s okay. They’re all going to be okay.

We sit like that for a couple of minutes, her leaning back against me while still stuck on Sam’s knot. He’s playing with her fingers, his other massive mit is protectively pressed against her rounded belly.

She’s fucking gorgeous and she’s ours.

I’m hard against her side, but I don’t care. Not right now. It’s too perfect to go rutting against her just yet.

Sam’s all pensive, but he isn’t giving off much besides Mate and Content and Pups in random hazes of thought. I wonder if he hears me yet.

I rub my nose along her shoulder, kiss where it meets her neck and smile into the crook when she shivers. She sits up and kisses Sam, holding his face between her hands like he’s precious. He growls against her lips, sighing when she starts to scratch his scalp. She whines when he starts to slip out of her, licking into his mouth to make it last.

I’ve got my hands on the notch of her waist, eying her ass crack like it’s manna from Heaven. I’m so hard and already leaking, but she’s still got Sam to take care of. I start nipping at her nape, just to distract myself more than anything.

Sam’s plotting, I can feel it.

Then she jumps because the fucker starts rubbing her clit. Well, two can play at that game, so I grab her tits and start sucking marks all over her neck and shoulders. I twist those ruddy nipples until she’s mewling, rocking hard against Sam’s half soft dick.

“I gotcha, honey, come here,” I husk out, lifting her by the armpits onto my lap and off my brother’s knot. She gushes all over my thighs, both slick and cum. Then I’m fucking up into her before Sam can even complain.

He’s still got her mouth anyhow.

She slumps against me, holding Sam’s fingers to her mound. She calls out a breathy “Alpha” and we both speed up.

God— she’s so warm, just hugging me so good.

I look down and watch her tits bounce, her baby belly hiding the pleasure Sam’s giving her. Fucking hot.

I cup those beauties, pinching the nubs between my second and third fingers, and roll my hips, hitting her right where she likes it.

“Fuck!” she groans, cumming all over all of us.

“That’s it,” I mumble. “Give us the good stuff.”

I punch my knot up against the clench of her channel, blood pulsing through every inch I can shove inside her. I’m not there yet, but the tight, wet, squeeze of her has me salivating. She writhes in my lap, unwilling to let go of either of us. She rides out her orgasm while murmuring the most delicious filth.

Sam licks his fingers clean and then starts in on her tits. She pulls his hair and puts him where she wants him. And I’m growing heavier at the mere sight of her taking what she wants.

She reaches back and cups my neck, pulling me closer  so she can tongue fuck my mouth. She adds a roll to our rhythm and I’m seeing spots. Everything goes high and tight and I’m fucking flooding her with all I’ve got.

I bite her bottom lip on the way to her throat— to the scar I left there all those months ago. She licks her own blood off my tongue before nudging me closer. I take the scar tissue between my teeth and nip— fuck my knot in higher and pull my teeth wide and sink into the unmarred flesh. Biting deep and dragging her into my throat— feeling her infuse my veins. Weaving us further together.

She sustains me.

I tongue the fresh wound as she grinds down against my knot. I feel her lower lips quiver and I’m cumming all over again. The taste and smell of her on me— inside me, stretches out my orgasm into waves of completion— drawing it out until I’m sobbing her name and she’s shushing me quiet.

Fuck— it feels so good.

I want to put three more pups in her.

I don’t know when Sam crawled away, but I’m grateful for the time to ourselves. I kiss my mark and wrap my arms around her middle— just clinging to her and this moment.

The world finally feels like it makes sense.

Tell me what you think?

Tagging:  @idreamofdeanie​​ @stoneyggirl2 @delightfullykrispypeach​​    @dolphincliffs​​ @flamencodiva​​ @crashdevlin​​ @dontshootmespence​​ @thoughtslikeaminefield​​  @rockhoochie​​ @dawnie1988 @mrswhozeewhatsis​​ @cosicas-cuquis​​ @foxyjwls007 @tumbler-tidbits @defenderrosetyler​​ @ericaprice2008  @wingedcatninja​​ @akshi8278 @itmighthavebeenintentional​​ @smi727​ @princessmisery666​​ @impalaslytherin​

[landslided]

sorry same anon again just returning to briefly add that i think season 1 of cobra kai made me so insane and now i'm trapped in this loop because i see that i could be so good like it could be SO good and then i think okay well there's always samtory future cobrakai arc where sam has dropped out of college and worked dead ends jobs for years and has largely pushed her parents away out of self loathing and like tory meanwhile has found like incredible success and similarly in a situation where tory has to help sam but it compels me SO much in how it would be different than daniel and johnny where tory WOULD be SINCERE in trying to make amends etc and sam would be the more instigator/"daniel" role despite occupying the "johnny" position if that makes sense. anyway that is to say i think top two characters who narratively should have sex that aren't daniel and johnny in my opinion. also that the second most INSANE making thing the show has done that was SO good was tory winning because silver paid off the refs INSANE COMPELLING DEFINING moment of all time for samtory season 5 really dropped the ball on the execution of but INSANE set up INSANE choice for their dynamic SO rich. anyway. sorry my only friend i've managed to get into cobra kai is too busy writing deranged piano teacher aus to/with me so i have no outlet for samtory future cobra kai gay sex moment. hey does anyone else think women should be divorced bums in their forties who fuck raw. anyone else. anyo --

(hope it's okay i replied to your anon like this, i wanted to put all your thoughts on the same ask because i know tumblr just hates us and doesn't let us talk the way we want to in asks)

okay wait okay there is SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE just so much and i feel like it's christmas already

first thing first don't ever feel the need to apologize for sending me anons like this quite literally the best thing i've ever received in many years of being on this hellsite i feel a little bit like chewing glass with how excited i am.

i totally get what you mean about season 1 because it truly feels like they trap you inside this complicated story of violence, vengeance and expectations and then they just never truly pick it up again and you are left with the bits and pieces of this show that not only has so much wasted potential but that has now infected you and you get visions like the fucking youtube red premium cursed cassandra of what it could have been if they'd just committed to what they were selling.

but the. yes. yes, we could have future samtory, it's the thing holding our heads above the water because GOD anon, i feel like you've managed to read my unfinished stories and my drafts on here because i wrote at least ten posts about how i think sam has the same journey as johnny (rich kid who ruins herself through self-hatred and repression and just this insatiable need of not being her father, of not being larusso 2.0 even though she is very much daniel to the shape of her smile and the marrow of her bones), sam who runs away, sam who has to do so to try and find herself except she can't because she has gotten absolutely no tools to do so, she's shaped herself into this perfect glass ornament for her father to put on display because she LOVES him and he loves her too but nothing she has is her own and she cannot find a single thing in herself that doesn't feel like a lie or a performance once again.

and tory is not like this. tory is very much whole and unwaveringly herself even when it gets her in trouble. tory doesn't have to answer for any expectations, tory just has to survive and rise to the occasion in a way sam never had to. tory has this weight on her shoulders that she cannot shake off but in many ways, through love mostly, she picked that weight up and placed it there herself even if it wasn't fair and even if she didn't have much choice, but she makes conscious decisions that pretty much always put herself at risk but she does what she feels is right and good for herself and for the people she loves in the moment, meanwhile sam is carrying around this burden that was attached to her back long before she first even opened her eyes.

there is something to say about the tragedy of daniel, absolutetly unable to have friends, unable to form meaningful relationships with people he doesn't have a past with (louie is his cousin, anoush is his employee, johnny, chozen and mike are part of his past) and when he does, it's robby he chooses because he doesn't look for an equal or a friend, he looks for a way to reproduce his relationship with mr miyagi but in the opposite because that's when he felt at his safest, that's his ONLY relationship that has brought him nothing but love and understanding and when you add all that (which, like you, i do. i do see all of the show's forgetful little things as proof of daniel's forced repression after tkk3 i literally wrote a whole section about his loneliness in one of my fics but ANYWAY) when you do add all that and translate it to sam who has no friends. it's not even that she doesn't have girl friends, she doesn't and its crazy and it says SO much about her, but she doesn't have any friends who aren't something else at first. miguel is her ex, so is robby, demetri was her sort of student for a while and then a sort of colleague to which she applies a relationship that is more reminiscent of boss/employee than actual friends and she!!! doesn't!!! have friends!!! they took away aisha but even before that sam had almost purposefully fucked up her relationship with aisha to enter a circle of popular kids who were NOT her friends and were not close to her and did not care about her. sam keeps herself locked away from a lot of her peers and that is so very clearly in my head an imitation of what her father does that it becomes unconsciously her own behavior.

and worse than all that, she's fucked up! like genuinely fucked up! she keeps ruining her relationships and she doesn't know what she wants and she is angry and scared and mean when she wants to be and yet, there is such a true real kindness to her, a goodness that comes from her very core that she cannot keep from affecting all her decisions.

sam would grow up estranged from her family, unable to express these monstrous feelings she's kept locked away for song long and she would find tory again and feel this same pull. this same moment of oh, maybe you do get me, maybe you do understand what and who i am and that is totally unbearable because being known is being in danger and i don't know myself how dare you know me more than i do. and tory would be genuine in wanting to help sam, because tory, a kid who did so much to survive and who has now found success and comfort would want to help someone she feels like she might have impacted in her life, someone who deserves the same chance she got (and maybe it's to alleviate some of her guilt too but it's still true and it's still done with this undercurrent of honesty that taints everything tory touches)

i also totally agree that making silver pay for tory's win was a wonderful plot decision that they totally fucked up later on but just, ugh the exquisite bittersweet victory, the defeat in sam's eyes because the win should have been hers, she's the best and she's played every single card in the game and tory knows this, knows that she's undeserving and she has NEVER been undeserving in her life and yet here she is, silver has made a liar out of her and has changed a fundamental part of who she is forever.

older samtory who are pathetic losers in the matters of love and keep pulling the same old tricks with each other that always ends up on the mat, licking old wounds before pouring salt directly onto them.

truly. truly ship of all time. samtory has the potential of a thousand suns.

(i ALSO am a big sam shaves her head believer god im UGH yes yes yes yes)

im sorry i ended up talking so much, but like you i feel a lot of emotions for these girls.

ALSO!!!!!!!! YOUR FRIEND'S DERANGED PIANO TEACHER AU????? I HAVE READ THIS FIC AT LEAST FIVE TIMES SINCE IT WAS POSTED LAST MONTH AND I EVEN COMMENTED ON IT THAT IT HAD MADE ME CRAZY LIKE GENUINELY BITING AT MY FINGERNAILS UNHINGED!!!!!!!!

if you ever feel comfortable being off anon, hit me up i think im in love with your brain and would love to discuss samtory with you

[serendertothesquad]

Seren's Studies: Odd Squad UK -- "Oddtober the Thirteenth" Episode Followup, Part 1

LOOKIT HOW THEY MASSACRED M' BOI. LOOKIT HOW THEY MASSACRED 'IM. BARELY RECOGNIZABLE, THE LIL' SQUIRT.

Well...for those who have been in the fandom for a long time, we still have the memories. For those who haven't, I am so sorry. From the bottom of my heart.

Below the break for what I can only hope is an episode that delivers the same quality as "The Odd Ness Monster" before it, but probably won't.

I was going to make a genuine and honest comment about these two roleplaying as villains, but lemme set that aside for now to groan at who's writing this.

At this point, the only thing I'm in for is the obligatory sleeping agent. It's really the only way the man gets help with his taxes every year.

Now on to the roleplaying: this is, uh...huh. It's one thing to roleplay horror movie characters, but it's another to roleplay as criminals, even if they're harmless. Worse still is that these...at least appear to be Odd Squad agents, unless they're random kids from the street that wandered in here and started chasing each other. Do you really want two members of your employment body roleplaying as criminals?

...Changing my point. They prefer it so much that they include it IN AN ORGANIZATION-WIDE FUCKING HOLIDAY.

To be fair, Oddtober, in the meta sense, did include the premiere of "Undercover Olive", which had Olive dressing up as a villain. But at least there, it made more sense because it was part of a dangerous mission, and it allowed her to play off of Odd Todd as a bonus. Here, it's played for shits and giggles and can be replaced with any other festive event. There's not much sense to it.

So to put it bluntly: it's an ugly desecration of a beautifully-crafted episode.

"Because oddness is what brings us together!"

Well, yes, but also no. You two are on opposite sides of the spectrum. You want world peace. Villains want world domination, or at the very least, town domination.

"End of the Road" is a good example of this. The statement is posed of, "If the villains' powers are gone, then there's nothing for Odd Squad to do." Cue the rising of an avian alien creature from out of the water, which shows that, even if villains are gone, Odd Squad still has a job in protecting and subduing odd creatures.

Orli's specifically speaking of oddness fueled by villains, though. Odd Squad strives for normalcy, not for oddness. Combine that with the fact that villains are essentially criminals, and her comment doesn't exactly hold much weight. "Villains In Need Are Villains Indeed" brought a sense of mutuality between villains and agents, but it didn't exactly stick. Here, it seems like that would become the norm if the episode aired today.

Case in point: this is a flawed comment in a flawed episode in a very flawed season.

Ohhh...a time loop. Because we had that once before AND IT'S NOT FUNNY NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU REPEAT IT.

Some jokes are a one-and-done thing, Omar.

Oh sure, you can dress up as a criminal. Bring one into your place of work, though, and it's a whole 'nother ball game. One that goes on Extra Hard Mode.

One villain...to represent all villains?

WEEEEEEEELL FUNNY I MENTIONED "END OF THE ROAD" THEN HUH. Would have been perfect for The Shadow!

Yeah...yeah...Orli is absolutely in the right here. You know how much oddness could be caused in a day? How many lives would be lost?

And that's how you know this holiday is hella stupid.

(On top of that, I'm realizing this is just a more stupid version of "The Perfect Lunch", And at least that episode provided us with a sprinkle of lore and loads of funny bits.)

Parched Pact sounds more like an MLP name than an Odd Squad name. (Editing note: Revoking this comment because it's Pat, not Pact.)

We also have another villain who specializes in dryness in the form of Dr. Dry, and really, if he can be in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, he can come to the UK and join Goopy Gus in the Forced Old Villain References Club. I'll still scream about it, but at least it'll make sense.

See, when Oprah does it, it's charming.

When Captain O does it, it lacks bite.

If even the chef has the shared "popping up out of nowhere" ability, then you know there's something up.

(On a side note: toast. What the writers' obsession is with Season 2 gags, I will never know.)

"Hey, you. You're finally awake. You were trying to enter HQ, right? Walked right into that jubilee, same as us, and that villain over there."

Genuinely shocked how audible this whisper of "he's here" is. Normally it would just be incomprehensible and implied.

*slaps on the English hypercorrection glasses*

If you're addressing Orli and Ozzie by name, there is absolutely no need to use the catch-all term of "agents". You failed the test, Omar. See me after class.

Is...hold on, who's that kid dressed up as on the left? It's not one of the Terrible Three, surely?

Closest I can guess is maybe Villain X from "Agent Overhill's Day Off", and if that's actually correct, this is especially insulting because that episode isn't even part of this batch like it should be. It's foreshadowing, but it's insulting foreshadowing.

See, one of the things that's so flawed about this is that the dude could just as easily lie. He can eat the plain food and say he hates it when he actually likes it, for example. No one's stopping him. There's no lie detector. He's a villain. He cheats and he lies. 'S kinda what he does.

And he doesn't even have to eat, or enjoy himself, or like the gifts. He can declare he hates everything off the bat and take the W. There are no terms and conditions.

*claps four times* THAT'S IT!!! THAT'S IT. THAT'S THE BITCH.

Pure cartoony villain, right here. At least if the episode's going down, we still got the cartoony hammy villain.

Oh. Bro got a plus one.

I mean let's be honest, they should have prepared for that.

Huh. Apparently Pact- er, sorry, Pat was keeping Square Squire (the finest student of Professor Square's class, thank you) in his hammerspace spine. And the dude is taller than him.

Still not any more impressive than Lady Bread holding the Form-Changer up by brute strength, though.

Never have I wanted to give an Odd Squad character an advanced lobotomy more than THIS FUCKING GIRL RIGHT HERE, Jesus Christ. There's fun stupid like Olaf and Ohlm, and then there's just bland stupid.

Also, is...is that a Brand X Coca-Cola pillow she has there or am I tripping? Is Coca-Cola canon in the Oddverse? Is there air?! You don't know!

I take back my earlier comment. This is "It Takes Goo to Make a Feud Go Right", UK edition. Now with 100% less obvious innuendos!

(I do appreciate Orli's only reaction is to give a nervous gulp, though.)

Because if it's too cold for you to go into the pool, get on the kitchen table and get swimmin'!

Only thing he's missing is an Oculus Rift.

Oh, this is a rip rip. Like three goddamn quarters of a rip.

Omar, what the fuck are you doing, bro? I can watch the show, I can do rewrites, but I'm not copying plots straight from past episodes. It's sad that they have a whole world to explore across 10 years and resort to reusing plots like this.

...Now kiss.

*begins doing a Mr. Krabs walk straight through the gates of hell*

I'm sorry, I keep replaying this, I keep hearing "Waterless Wilf", and my mind goes to "Water I'd Like to Fuck." Which is inappropriate, biologically impossible, and a sin against the planet.

...Look, I said I was sorry. Bite me.

Look at that bitch in the background.

She knows.

She feels no remorse.

She set this shit up.

She knows.

Fluorescent...Florie?

I- are you all fuckin' high? Were you people fuckin' high when making up these villain names? At least Parched Pat and Square Squire somewhat made sense. This is just "hehe alliteration funy" and that's it!

Ozzie's getting close to an Olivepalm, and that's how you know you dun fucked up.

I...don't know what the fuck Orli's doing, but that ain't it.

Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a piece of dry toast in my eye.

Or else someone's gonna die.

The man's got as many delusions of vacational grandeur as Obfusco.

The only difference is that Obfusco could reasonably accomplish a world trip in the span of a short time.

(On to Part 2!)

[rayclubs]

Nobody asked for this but I'm rating TMA fear entities by how scary they are.

The Eye

This bitch should be afraid of me

I set my 0.5L bear head shaped glass mug of discount bootleg pepsi on the table and say "Watch This" and the ceaseless wanker never recovers

0/10 turn your gaze upon. My peanits

The Web

Kind of a MILF and they do intimidate me if I'm being honest

Spiders are pretty disturbing ever since I wrote that story about a gigantic man-eating species with blades for legs, but then there's Jolene who lives on my window and catches the bugs that are Far Worse so I don't even know

4/10 for honest effort, you go girl

The Dark

Scary in the sense that I will stab me goddamn toe

So fun fact, when I was a kid my parents brought home a wooden crate full of pears and set it on the floor near the kitchen doorframe and I ran by at full speed and whacked my pinky toe against it full force, it was bleeding like fuck but for whatever genius reason my parents didn't move the crate so next day I ran the exact same trajectory and didn't have a nail on my pinky toe for six months. But that was in broad daylight so

2/10 get torched idiot

The Vast

I could never be afraid of something so, so sexy

I guess I have an instinctive moderate fear of heights? I did fall off a tree once, and I am prone to window-jumping attempts, but it's not like I can't climb a ladder or anything. The ocean though? The open space? Tell me more

3/10 we on purposed kiss

The Buried

I would DIE in the buried

Petition to rename Too Close I Cannot Breathe to Get The Fuck Away From Me

7/10 can you tell I'm familiar with the crushing weight of poverty

The Flesh

Too funny to be scary

Yeah blood, yeah meat, I'm made of it babygirl don't even worry. I bet you only hate Viscera because your ribs are weird. Not me. Could never be me. My rib is beautiful and pristine, my bone marrow is delish, and my garden is FLOURISHING.

2/10 for the fear of actually going to the gym

The Hunt

It's Gonna Getcha

Kind of boring? Neighborhood stray dogs are scary but at some point you just say "fuck it" and walk the shortcut anyway. We don't have wolves or bears here where I live, it's pretty chill.

2/10 vampires aren't even that sexy (sorry)

The Corruption

I do NOT. Fuck with The Corruption. I DO NOT. Fucking hell.

Bone-chilling, terrifying, absolute bullshit whore of a fear, I HATE her, I hate her SO MUCH, watch me run out of my house screaming upon encountering one motherfucking bitch of a worm, I'm calling extermination services so quick you won't even have the time to say "Filth", FUCK The Corruption

10/10 aaa a a aa a a

The Stranger

Who

I don't know what "uncanny valley" means. I've read the definition but I do not understand the concept. Plastic people don't make any sense to me. "Things that aren't what they should be" does not make sense to me. I Might have identity issues

0/10 fucking clowns

The Slaughter

Soldier TF2

Respectfully and conceptually frightening but not on any personal level. Don't like thinking about it because there's a war just over the border right now, but also everyday things still need done y'know?

5/10

The Spiral

Hawt

Another thing that is conceptually scary but I would just deal with it in a producthve manner because I'm autism powers. Also I get lost even in normal, non-distorted places, so I'm what you may call experienced

4/10 mickey

The Lonely

MY GORGEOUS WIFE

I think about The Lonely at least once a day, I want to go there forever. Will you go to The Lonely with me? Will you? Will you?

0/10 she makes me so happy I want to cry

The Desolation

Yeah fire doesn't do it for me

Can't be scared of losing your home if you don't have a home in the first place

3/10 I'm scared of mean women

The Extinction

Been there done that

More hopeful than scary. Made in Heaven that shit aye

1/10 who gives a shits

The End

Ah well

I mean, I could die tomorrow and I wouldn't care. Cause I'd be dead. Cheers for the living but I'm different.

2/10 the scariest part is all the tentacles

[saturn-sends-hugs]

Ask and ye shall receive:

Ok first off, I’m gonna try to keep this somewhat short since I have WAY too many of these uh…

Literally longer than my longfic rn 🫠. And this is discounting ones just floating elsewhere (and about 99% (heh. ow.) of it is angst) so I’m just gonna pick three happier headcanons for the Batch. Which are still very, very long 😅

1. Cooking

Tech cannot cook. He reads the recipe, he will follow it to the T, but for reasons he can absolutely never understand (substituting ingredients for things that would work in theory but very much so do not), what he ends up with is dubious at best and dangerous at worst. (Never let Tech near a microwave. Ever. He will get ideas)

Hunter thinks he can cook. He knows how to make packaged meals and simple stuff like that, but he cannot cook. Omega would absolutely never ask him to cook because no one wants the space equivalent of a plain baloney sandwich for every meal of the day.

Wrecker can cook, he just doesn’t like to. You’re telling me I have to spend two hours putting these ingredients together for a meal when I could just eat them as is? He doesn’t see the point of making sides or extra stuff instead of just making the food edible as soon as possible. (Not to say that he doesn’t like all the extra stuff, he just would pretty much never spend the time to make it himself)

Crosshair could cook. If he wanted to. He does not.

And ofc Echo can cook, his very first shore leave he went out to buy cooking tools and sat with Tech to modify them into scomp attachments. He learned since he’s always been a picky eater and just liked something other than ration bars most of the time. But also since he’s a picky eater, a lot of the times he’ll cook for the batch and make something completely separate for himself. And maybe for Omega. Cause she wanted space mac n cheese too. (am i projecting here MAYBE MAYBE LISTEN— i could go on abt my autistic/picky eater echo headcanons (100% self-inserts) all day but that’s for another post lol)

2. Sleeping

Tech sleeps like a cartoon character, ass directly in the air with his pillow all fluffed under his head.

Wrecker sleeps completely starfished on his back snoring louder than one would think possible.

Crosshair sleeps like the dead, arms directly at his sides and he wakes up the exact same way, just opening his eyes and slowly levering up to sitting like a mummy or something.

Hunter sleeps like a normal person (lol), but he has big sound canceling headphones since his senses would never let him sleep with Wreckers snoring.

Echo doesn’t like sleeping, but when he does, he sleeps curled as tightly as possible with his back to the wall. Eventually the batch get him a weighted blanket and Tech makes him a heated mattress, but he still never likes sleeping :)

3. Swearing (once Omega is with them):

Tech isn’t usually one to swear anyway, so it’s not difficult for him to just not when Omega is around.

Wrecker would make up fun replacements like cheese and crackers or H E double hockey sticks-type things.

Hunter would try his best, but he would get like halfway through before he changes it like “Holy shiiiiiiiitaké” yknow?

I’m a bit undecided on Crosshair, he would either act all cold and tough but absolutely never swear around Omega and flick toothpicks at whoever accidentally does, or he just wouldn’t care. Fully like “Fuck you, dipshit,” and Hunter would just glare at him until Cross fixes himself like “Sorry, sorry, I meant asshole.”

And Echo would be the one enforcing the rule. He’s the one glaring at Hunter when he accidentally slips up and starts to swear, he would cover Omegas ears when there’s people at Cid’s, he’s just the mom.

However. He’s an arc trooper. He was in Anakin’s battalion, he’s Fives’ twin, and he straight up says “What the hell,” within the first few minutes we meet him. Omega knows more curse words than the average pirate, but she has no idea that’s what they are because every time Echo swears around her, it goes like this:

Echo: *long string of botched mando’a swears*

Omega: *repeats them*? What’s that mean?

Echo (immediately blushing and freaking out): Nothing, nothing! It’s super boring, it just means… uh…….. socks…

And Omega would never know until she repeats it to one of the others and they all just turn to glare at Echo as he desperately tries to melt into the floor.

And lastly, bonus from the dredges of my notes app:

I have SO many more but I’m gonna stop myself there 😅 And uh, while I was scrolling through my notes I found a TON of stuff I just?? Never posted?? So idk, I’m thinking of doing like a weekly headcanon/wip/notes-app-whatever post just to put them out there or something, idk. (Should I?)

Gonna tag @gentle-hero-blog @phis-writing and @jealous-sloth77 since y’all wanted this lol

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

i'm so happy you liked it!!! wow, you're just as insane as I am. life is good. our thoughts are in sync. the tragedy that speaks to the core. thank YOU. it's refreshing to let your slightly crazy thoughts out there and be welcomed. im absolutely insane for their dynamic (im dying to live this). you have no idea (im losing it). i personally think gojo would be relieved once he's king, he's in control now, it's natural to him. there are more possibilities and he's so prepared. but you know what? becoming king has its duties and one of them is that prince!gojo's hand has been promised before he was born. i wonder how he'd cope with that knowing he belongs to someone else. i like to think he'd rebel and refuse the marriage completely (for personal, selfish reasons), but again he isn't childish in the sense of ignoring politics completely, yes? behind playful comments he is indeed a smart man. after all, he was raised to become this. he knows how to navigate the world and understands that his decisions can have massive political impact (and that this can also be negative for his knight, right? he cannot risk losing the power and privileges he owns, how would he be able to protect them? he must play the game as is). i think this might be one of the moments in his life where he'll be the most conflicted. but he'd play nice and polite when his fiance comes to visit him (i think due to gojo's natural disdain for his fiance, casual visits would be encouraged a few weeks before marriage). the first sting of jealousy knight!reader feels and oh. that's when they realize the nature of their feelings for prince!gojo. that it goes a little beyond what they thought. their dynamic might shift a little, things become uncertain and confused. knight!reader might dissociate between it all, not allowing selfish feelings to get in the way. and gojo's so annoyed and he wishes the whole building would just collapse and burn with everyone in it. and there knight!reader is, not so far away, shining only for his eyes. prince!gojo looks at them like begging for forgiveness, help, love and sadness all together while the lady by his side tries to get his attention. it's pathetic, he thinks. but his heart is somewhere else, it belongs to someone else for fucking sake!!! can't anyone see that? their first kiss would probably happen during this time I think. i can see him finding knight!reader at night, carrying the weight of the kingdom on his shoulders. and when his eyes land on them relief washes over him. soft moonlight shyly on knight's confused face asking 'satoru, are you okay?' vulnerability! comfort! home! because they belong to each other deeply, a mere look on each others face is enough to understand something is wrong. the kiss!! his little act of rebellion. he's so proud of it after, it's cute af. can you see? the blushing and all!! difficult times, ah the hurt!! at the end,,, i think ruling by himself is much gojo like, right? it would be somewhat controversial and there would be implications but to him it wouldn't be fair to fill a promise he didn't make, plus he's committed to his knight!reader already. ye? he'd learn so much and mature during this period as well. he'd find strength in his love and his love alone. it fills him with a supernatural sense of responsibility that he finally understands that knight!reader went through (though only a little, as he doesn't get his hands dirty nor commit acts of violence (i hope he does, sincerely)). and yess,,, sorry, it was too much again. or if it doesnt resonate with you, haha. omg. i am simply happy in my element talking to you. yes, uhm. you can call me momo/crazymomo if thats ok? it was supposed to be 'crazymomo' but i guess it kind got f'ed up in the way and i just didnt care about fixing it. im bringing you cake ok!!!!!

HI MOMOOO u r feeding us yet again!!!!! and same same same, its so fun to be insane together i appreciate u sm <333 mickey rlly is a genius bc ive never seen a character/reader dynamic thats caused as much insanity as knight!reader & prince!gojo they had me in a chokehold from the get-go

and OHHH these thoughts momo!!!! so tasty and interesting, i lovelovelove hearing more abt how u interpret them!! when it comes to dynamics like these i feel like everyone has their own take on them at least to some degree and i think its SOSO fun to compare!!!!

BUT OKOK let me get thru this!!! i had so much fun reading this and thinking abt it, u brought up so many things i hadnt considered yet!!

OK SO. king!gojo…… after some contemplation i think i definitely agree w u momo. i feel like satoru relaxes once he has the throne. its tough and a huge responsibility, a weight on his shoulders, but its no longer hanging over him as a burden he’ll one day have to bear, its something he’s gained and grown used to and i think he earnestly loves making a change in the society he lives in. and!! i think he is soso loved. i see him as the type to visit poorer villages all the time, financially support struggling mothers, speak to their babies and hold them all gently HES JUST SO… hes such a good man im gonna be sick. ABSOLUTELY helps all orphans he comes across they may or may not remind him of a certain knight so he cant bear to look away from them

(i do think he still longs to run away w knight!reader tho…. its just a nice daydream to him atp bc its impossible in so many ways but i think he hates the fact that being king means hes moved even further above them on the social ladder)

BUT ANYHOW ANYHOW lets get to the juicy bits. the engagement bits. i have my own take on this that differs from urs a little bit momo but i think urs is soso good and nice and romantic… and i agree on a lot too!! specifically this ohhh u get him soso well!!

behind playful comments he is indeed a smart man. after all, he was raised to become this. 

(…)

(and that this can also be negative for his knight, right? he cannot risk losing the power and privileges he owns, how would he be able to protect them? he must play the game as is.)

^ i agree soso much!!!! i think prince!gojo is very very clever, he enjoys acting goofy and has a very genuinely silly side but i do think hes both intelligent and mature. especially when it comes to politics, both for the sake of his own sense of duty AND what you said — for the sake of knight!reader!! they’re his motivation to become king in the first place, so i don’t see him doing anything that’ll cause too much of a stir; but at the same time… he gets away with a lot.

i do think rejecting his fiancee completely as a prince might be too much (his parents let him do as he pleases for the most part, but theyre not fun to deal with when they start to feel threatened lol), but once hes become king… well.

i think you’re right, momo!! he chooses to lead the nation on his own, with no queen by his side — only one very loyal knight. 

(on the topic of heirs though since thats kind of connected to this… obviously his decision causes quite a stir. who will lead the kingdom when hes gone? a king with no firstborn — how scandalous. and so on.

but satoru doesn’t care. he continues to live his life, do his duty. visiting villages, dealing with neighouring countries… and, well. maybe one day he happens to run into a particularly clever assassin, with a scar on his bottom lip, escaping by the skin of his teeth and thanks to his knight — and, who knows? maybe said assassin, bleeding out, murmurs something about a child, a run-down building, a young life soon to be lost… and maybe satoru finds said child. maybe he even feels compelled to look after him, just for a while, because that unruly hair and those guarded eyes remind him a bit too much of a certain someone.

and if satoru grows fond of said boy, if he raises him as a candidate for the throne, but with an understanding and sympathy that he never received himself — then that’s no one’s business but his own.)

my bad i got carried away PHDKFJFJ back to the topic at hand. (i just needed to bring gumi into this narrative hes my special little boy ALSO maybe just maybe suguru finds an orphaned boy in the woods w pink hair who he takes in and raises as a knight hmmmm.. wonder what that’s all about…..) SORRY IM SORRY theres. so much to think abt when it comes to this au…………..

but anyways. i think satoru abolishes the marriage the moment he becomes king — but until then hes polite, well-mannered, maybe even a tad friendly w his fiancee. just to make it easier for the both of them. he does however make it very, very clear that this is a business partnership in his mind — its not a marriage of love, it never will be. and he’s firm about it. he has no intention of leading her on.

i think he might even go as far as to say his heart belongs to someone else (hes giggling on the inside bro gets butterflies at the thought of belonging to his knight in any way shape or form), with no specifics since he doesnt want to get knight!reader into any kind of trouble with the royal court.

but yes!! this is where i think our takes differ a bit (not at ALL a bad thing i just need to make that clear!!) bc i dont rlly see knight!reader being jealous!! i see their relationship with satoru as very comfortable, w a strong sense of understanding between them. it isnt entirely romantic or entirely platonic — if i had to put it in simple terms i’d just call them soulmates. they were born to save each other. and i think both of them understand that! knight!reader is well aware that satoru doesnt feel a single thing for his fiancee, because he makes it so clear that no one has a place at his side except for knight!reader themselves. so in that sense i dont see that uncertainty appearing!! i think the only one between them who feels frustrated is satoru.

and gojo's so annoyed and he wishes the whole building would just collapse and burn with everyone in it. <- THIS IS SOOOO CANON TO ME BTW i think that when ppl are being annoying around the castle a tiny voice in his head is like ”i hope this building fucking explodes” PHDNDBD HES SO DRAMATIC…. but in this case i think hes just so frustrated, especially if his fiancee/parents make the whole engagement more troublesome than it has to be.

on that note i just gotta mention;

and there knight!reader is, not so far away, shining only for his eyes. prince!gojo looks at them like begging for forgiveness, help, love and sadness all together while the lady by his side tries to get his attention. it's pathetic, he thinks. <- GOD THIS ONE GOT ME THIS ONE GOT ME GOOD momo pls stop im in agony </3 ohhh the way his eyes reflect his soul those sad sad puppydog eyes ☹️☹️ i would fold instantly

so in simple terms!! i think knight!reader and toru feel very at home in their dynamic. i dont think knight!reader would mind at all if satoru got a fiancee — if she made him happy i think they’d even grow fond of her. theyre just very kind and accepting, and dedicated to their prince’s happiness above all else. (but, of course, satoru’s happiness only ever lies with them 😔 stupid silly dense knight.) 

BUT THE KISSSS OHHH THE KISS MOMO…. i see your vision so SO clearly. i picture their kiss by the riverbank like this too — satoru does it w/o thinking overcome by fondness and hes all giggly and giddy after. hes just happy to be alive PDJJDFJ 100% goes for a forehead kiss right after bc his heart is just bursting at the seams and his favorite person ever is right there in front of him!! all blushy and unsure!!! ohhh hes OBSESSED momo u get it ofc u do… ur version of events is so lovely and sweet!! i can really picture is so vividly!!

ANYWAY that was so fun pls never apologize, i lovelovelove long asks like this!! it was such a treat to read!! <33 IM BRINGING U A BIG CAKE TOO tysm for blessing us w this 🎂 (lets share it hehe 🍰🍰) (+ extra piece for mickey in case they see this here u go mickey 🍰)

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hiiii!!! this is for the match up thingy :3

im fixated on um. oh god. weight in gold - gallant, literally every hozier song ever and if im being honest - dodie. i really like the backing music and lyrics of all these songs and obviously i cant just choose one :3

ok i have no idea what this means but from highest? to lowest it’s apparently 6, 4, 3, 2, 8, 1, 5, 9 and 7

I ABSOLUTELY DO. i love learning so much,, i dont have a favourite but video games or historic events or horror are my favourite genre :3

i dont remember my childhood friends much but i conjured them up because everyone else had one and i felt left out. purely out of spite. but i loved them lots :3

ok. i sleep on my side with my leg out and switch between that and just on my stomach, suffocating in my pillow. and i never sleep in the silence. like i always have headphones on with music or asmr playing

i changed my name!!! i hated my birthname and the one i chose is much better. it also is the name of my sibling which i knew nothing about so i am basically a psychic

oh god. i reallt like gavins recent studying one annnnd ashers cookies one. and the damn bowling one. im gonna stop before i name 100 of them but i love them because they are so comforting and make me overflow in happiness :3 i love them

sam. sorry.. his videos r so boring to me BUT they make good sleep aids :3

princess and the frog, criminal minds and community. its a problem.

HUXLEY!!! oh my god i need to be his best friend and make him pottery SO bad. need to protect him with my life. oh my god. my beloved.

i talk a LOT about space and dinosaurs and the sea :3 i fucking love learning so i have a lot of lil facts from reading encyclopaedias and watching documentaries :3

oh god it changes every fucking time im in there but recently any flavoured milk and red doritos

amazing world of gumball. and uhh any other kids animation shows. reliving my childhood multiple years later smileyfaceemoji

other important stuff is probably my love language? main one is quality time and also gift giving in the sense that i WILL spend 17 hours straight on something if you merely mention it once. do not tempt me. i am the middle child of 5 but the eldest daughter and basically raised my younger siblings haha somoene help. um my MBTI is ISFP, ihave autism and adhd and have horribly high standards for myself!!! haha c: idk what else to say. i quite literallt am always chewing something and its either something that is definitely not edible and needs to be removed or strawberry gum. i also love fruit. so much. and lovingly bullying people is my love language. AND i apparently exude ‘ginger cat’ energy according to literally everyone i have the pleasure of knowing. so loved.

thank u so much for doing this, this was a mountain of an ask omgim sos sorry bff

You are such a dear- there was so much fun information in your ask for me to work with. Everything you gave me just makes me so sure and brings me such delight to talk about how perfect you would be with David!

One, ginger cat energy combined with big German shepherd energy? Cute as fuck, a match made in heaven. Two, an eldest daughter pairs perfectly with him and his only child/eldest brother in the pack vibes. It’s a lot of responsibility and obligation, I know from personal experience, and being able to chill out with that and just rely on him would be just what you need. Three, David is totally autistic, and we love an A4A couple.

Y’all would generally be just so cute and be exactly what you need in each other’s lives. Type Sixes are characterized as wanting security and support in their lives and relationships, and he heads a security companyyy (/j). Meanwhile you’d bring a joie de vivre and nurturing energy to his home and the pack that would be so appreciated. He’s not the only one who’d love to be around you; it’d be all the Shaws.

Song:

Feeling alive all over again/ As deep as the sky that's under my skin/ "Like being in love, " she says, "For the first time"/ Well, maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right/ Where I belong with you tonight/ Like being in love, to feel for the first time

My favorite David headcanon is that a lot of his music taste comes from rock/grunge music Gabe and Juliet (my hc name for his mom) used to play. That is exactly how I know this song, so I think it’s perfect for him. Plus, David seems like the type of guy where that first love is it. He imprints like a duck, mates for life like a penguin; he has you for his first and only love.

Runner-ups:

Vincent would be a cute runner up because he also has ginger cat energy once he dropped that flirty, Lestat-esque facade, so you’d make a fun, chaotic pair. Elliott, I like because I think you’d like a lot of the same things. He strikes me as the type of guy who would love a good Criminal Minds binge.

note: you’ve got great taste in movies and tv Community is one of my favorite shows 💕 also, thank you for being my fiftieth matchup 💌

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[gwydionmisha]

I am having to limit my Middle East/Western Asia war coverage, because I am having to limit my news intake for mental health reasons on this subject.

Not for the first time, you'll likely have noticed. Let's talk about that a little so you can understand the whys of it and how i decide what sorts of things I cover. I don't close cover most wars for the same reason I don't close cover most mass shootings. There are exceptions. These are also for reasons. I am trying to figure out how to explain. I generally do postings for 1. a big thing happened (war, shooting, disaster). (With shootings and disasters, I will often show a lot of things in this categories for different types of events, in part because of the event itself and the loss of life, in part to show just how systemic the thing is and the need to make systemic changes). 2. Here are why this big thing happened. 3. Here is some things we could do to stop this thing happening. 4. Here is a particularly big thing during a long ongoing war or disaster. 5. Somebody did something particular people need to know about and there needs to be an accounting. (war crime, police deciding to let the shooter kill as many brown kids as he likes instead of intervening in Uvalde, the egregious and deadly code violations in building Grenfell Towers, how neglect of infrastructure made the natural disaster worse, how a particular disaster is man-made rather than natural and who's to blame, etc…) 5. Here is a thing you can do to help people who experienced this terrible thing.

Number 5 is why there tends to be more natural disaster follow up than granular war coverage. Generally there is fuck all I and most of can do to help except say fund refugees or humanitarian aid, and doing the research I need to do to post war coverage eats away at my ability to do much of anything else. I can post how to help links for humanitarian things for both natural disasters and refugees, but I can't for every war or disaster or man-made disaster. I do what I can, but it's very limited.

There are other people who cover wars way better than I can. I'm one disabled person in frail health. I can't remotely do everything I want to in this space. I have been forever drowning in links I prepped and didn't have time to post since… I'm going to say 2015. The type of stuff I mostly cover is in areas where I can work with passion and often fury, but never despair.

Wars chew me up so very, very fast.

I will keep posting what I can, but it's always going to be heavier on things that are actually in my areas of expertise than outside of them. It's always going to be heavier on things we can collectively change than things we can't.

I have been trying to figure out how to talk about what's happening right now since I saw what happened during my final meds snack before bed Saturday morning Us time. I keep trying to work out how to explain with nuance and historical context and world politics and the weight of the dead. I keep failing. I am sorry. I can not see a way this turns out well in the long run for either side or the people who always get the worst of things.

This is why, in general, I don't write much about Israel and the Palestinians. The people who can actually make things better tend to be the people with the least say in what happens. The people who do have the power to make things better for everyone seem to absolutely not want that most of the time. Every time there is a window to really fix things, it's rejected or ignored. Anger, justified anger, makes things worse, because it entrenches the sides.

I know that things can be fixed if enough people on both sides want it to be. When I was a kid the 21st border relations between Ireland and Northern Ireland seemed impossible. I still look on all that progress with a deep sense of wonder. Healing and progress are so incredibly hard and so worth it.

I don't see that happening in Israel without massive change. I have been rooting for that change my whole life. I am worried more countries will get involved. I am worried this war will harden positions further and kill chances of improvement for another generation or more. The status quo has been untenable for my entire life. Longer. Diplomacy can't work if every agreement is quickly violated by one side or the other. People are dying right now.

I'm not good at covering things I can't see a solution to. The only solution I CAN see, can't happen without massive change for the better and the trend's been going the wrong way.

Do not think skimpy coverage means I don't care.

[fnaf-fictive-culture-is]

FNaF fictive culture is, as the non introject host, feeling awful for our William fictive. People (as in real, out of system people) have been so cruel to him for no good reason. It's so hard to get him to realize that he didn't ask for any of this, and that his source and his exomemories don't define him. We also have Michael, Evan, Henry, and Charlotte, all of them canonmates (sharing the same exomemories as his) and all of them get along with him. They all enjoy his company. None of them want to or do hate him. And sometimes that alone makes him feel guilty.

It's just so saddening to see how the guilt for things he never chose to do eats away at him sometimes. He really is one of the nicest, most caring people here, and he absolutely does not deserve the weight of "his" past actions crushing him like that.

(oh and welcome back by the way! hope break treats you all well!!)

hey, Michael here (phone guy passed out straight after rapid-fire clearing our inbox and he's been in and out of sleep since lol) I am so fucking sorry people do that to him. Like, it would make sense to be avoidant of him if he'd been, say, a total dick. But from what you're describing, he hasn't. Not at all. People who treat him like that are assholes. If he needs to talk, I'm open. /gen/nf

[heartepub]

some totally not unhinged annotations below; so totally not unhinged to begin with this quote that I hunted down just to add here and set the tone

"To fall in love is to create a religion that has a fallible god." — Jorge Luis Borges

cw // religion obviously

that said .

Joshua Hong, of all people— a tattoo?  Unlikely. Impossible.

depending on how conservative your catholic circles run, the body is generally regarded as a "temple of god"—so defiling it w tattoos is already eyebrow-raising (tick one on the catholic guilt of mr hong jisoo)

“S’okay.” All humor is gone from his voice now. In its place— something low, something reverent. “Go ahead.”

reverent as the word choice here......ohhh you want me dead (love as making a sort of religion, etc)

“Why here?” you ask, pressing the pads of your fingers a little more firmly against his skin, as if emphasizing his choice of placement.  His breath stutters. His answer is quiet, muffled by his lips charting more kisses down the column of your neck. “Easy to hide,” he murmurs. “No one has to know.”  “No one has to know,” you echo.  You can feel the upward curve of his mouth as he moves over your collarbone. “Except you,” he says, saccharine sweet in his easy flirtation. 

I just . have many feelings about carrying over that thought of tattoos as defilement and christian boy hong jisoo "defiling" the skin closest to his beating heart, and entrusting that sight to you

(have my blasphemy, you are my religion now type shit)

“If I asked,” you say softly. “Would you give me your rib?” 

the scream I screamed at this line........FUCK!!!!!!

also just . really like how in this scene the rib idea (which is often used to justify women being subservient to men, ha) is kind of subverted by the act of asking and by extension making devotion/life/love etc freely given in turn ,, no longer simply about life/creation but of union

(hm idk if this makes sense LMAO I think this one is pulled out of my ass)

You, underneath a man who’s a pagan of the good times.

do not even play w me w this hozier reference—a man who is a pagan of the good times?!?!?!?!? to worship at the altar of love as paganism, to build a religion around something that one feels has more good than existing religion itself......

[on what it feels to be with joshua] Absolution. Heaven. Creation.

where's that fucking sappho quote that's like . in the crooks of your body I find my religion or smth,, hoooooly (< relevant exclamation)

Joshua’s teeth nip at your lower lip as he pulls away to breathe. His next words are spoken right against your mouth, like he can’t bear to part from you for too long. Like a part of him is already a part of you. 

I have not said it yet, but I also just find the setting of this being kissing/possibly sex outside of the text—kissing as involving breath, breath as in god breathing life into adam, joshua and you sharing breaths—so fucking delicious and right on the money of religious imagery here

"a part of him is already a part of you" THE RIBBBBBB — combining the imagery of the breath of life and the rib as the origin through which eve came about ,,,, I am unwell

“You are my apple of Eden,” he breathes. “And now I will live with the guilt.”

my apple of eden.......the temptation I would give up paradise for......[in my head I connected this also to francesca's discussion on being cast down together is no punishment at all if we are together]

hozier's discography is a masterclass in drawing parallels between worship of a god and devotion to a lover—in many ways a reclamation of love and sexuality that has been policed by powerful institutions such as religion.

christian boy hong jisoo......not necessarily said here but I imagine there is weight in devotion, some of it catholic guilt (ESPECIALLY IF YOU READ THIS AS GN READER, EVE IMAGERY NOTWITHSTANDING)

sorry for the incoherence goodnight .

worship in the bedroom 🍏 joshua x reader.

joshua believes there's no sweeter innocence than some gentle sin. that's why he got his tattoo, isn't it?

★ word count: 952 ★ genre/warnings: suggestive (no real smut), cussing/swearing. joshua has a tattoo, established relationship -ish, references to the bible's creation myth, inspired by hozier's from eden and take me to church. yes, a & i just wanted an excuse to think of christian boy hong jisoo. ★ footnotes: @chugging-antiseptic-dye & i are late to the joshua rib tattoo discourse, but better late than never. this one is for her— the giggle at my funeral, et cetera, et cetera. <3

You hadn’t believed it when you first heard about it. 

Joshua Hong, of all people— a tattoo? 

Unlikely. Impossible.

But now he’s pulling off his shirt, and you can’t even bring yourself to admire his toned abdomen. You’re far too distracted by the very thing you last expected to see on him. Holy shit, you think dazedly. They weren’t crazy. 

Joshua— who had gently shoved you back on to his bed, who had kissed you stupid before starting to undress— notices your dumbstruck expression. 

“Ah,” he says, the word coming out more like a laugh. His tone is edged with mirth as he sinks down onto the mattress, right by your feet. “Oops?” 

Despite your shock, you manage to shoot him a half-hearted glare. It only makes Joshua giggle.

“Forgot to mention it,” he chirps. 

“Yeah,” you mumble, still a bit breathless from his earlier kisses. “No kidding.” 

You know it’s stupid to be so stunned. People get tattoos all the time.

Joshua’s fingers wrap around your ankle. He gives you a gentle shake to snap you out of your thoughts, that infuriating smile still on his face. “Is it really so out of character for me?” 

You could lie. What’s the point, though? He would just clock you, maybe even punish you a little for trying to give him anything but the truth. 

“Just didn’t expect it,” you manage, which is technically true. 

He lets out a thoughtful hum before making his way up his bed. He hovers on top of you, his arms bracing himself on either side of you. By the time he’s done shifting upward, you can see the details of the inked artwork despite the dim light of his bedroom. 

“Better view,” he teases. 

You would probably threaten him with bodily harm if you weren’t so damn distracted. Tentatively, you raise your hand. 

Your fingers brush against the punctured skin. It’s not by any means a new tattoo. The dark ink is already a little faded, and Joshua doesn’t flinch like one might if it were fresh. 

But he does hold his breath. 

Joshua tenses above you, his eyes flicking to your hand. You pause. He shakes his head. 

“S’okay.” All humor is gone from his voice now. In its place— something low, something reverent. “Go ahead.”

With his permission, you begin to trace. 

Your touch ghosts over the delicate tattoo smack dab underneath his heart. It’s a rendition of a known piece of art. Outstretched hands with fingers barely touching. 

“The Creation of Adam,” you finally say. This time, it’s your turn to sound amused. 

Joshua at least looks pleased that you understood the reference. He gives you an affirming ‘mhm’ as he leans down to press a kiss to the side of your jaw.

“Now that,” he says against your skin, his tone matching yours, “is something you’d expect, hm?” 

The quip draws a laugh from you. Your free hand instinctively goes to entangle in his hair and you can feel him preen above you. Still, nothing seems to affect him as much as your absentminded plotting of his inked skin. 

You should let this topic drop, let Joshua take you like he’s probably dying to, but you can’t help the nagging queries. 

“Why here?” you ask, pressing the pads of your fingers a little more firmly against his skin, as if emphasizing his choice of placement. 

His breath stutters. His answer is quiet, muffled by his lips charting more kisses down the column of your neck. “Easy to hide,” he murmurs. “No one has to know.” 

“No one has to know,” you echo. 

You can feel the upward curve of his mouth as he moves over your collarbone. “Except you,” he says, saccharine sweet in his easy flirtation. 

Your eyes flutter close. Give in, your body screams. 

You can’t resist one last jab. 

“Shua.” 

“Mm?” 

You give his hair a gentle tug. He whines a bit, but he gets the message. He tilts his head up so he can meet your gaze. 

“What,” he asks flatly. His supposed annoyance is belied by the warmth in his honeyed eyes. The look of a man who will always indulge you.

“If I asked,” you say softly. “Would you give me your rib?” 

Oh. Oh. That gets him. You can see the way Joshua’s pupils dilate, the way his face flushes. 

And so the story goes— Eve, created from the rib of the first man. 

You, underneath a man who’s a pagan of the good times.

Joshua doesn’t answer at first. Not with words, anyway. 

Instead, he leans down to capture your lips. It’s the type of kiss that robs you of all rationale, and the press of his chest against yours does very little to help your case. You’re reduced to fleeting thoughts, to single words that can barely scratch the surface of what it feels like to be with Joshua. 

Absolution. Heaven. Creation. 

Joshua’s teeth nip at your lower lip as he pulls away to breathe. His next words are spoken right against your mouth, like he can’t bear to part from you for too long. Like a part of him is already a part of you. 

“You are my apple of Eden,” he breathes. “And now I will live with the guilt.” 

So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man... Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. — Genesis 2:21-25

[mercuryislove]

writer ask meme: ♥️❣️💔

okay this took FOREVER bc of the little character bios but oh my god i had fun with it. i can fucking see them now in the ssx tricky character select lmao

❤ what is the working title?

for which project? lol for the vampire one my working title is Of the Old Blood (lol nice bloodborne reference) bc the whole plot revolves around like. the oldest bloodline around (like 8000 years!!!) and also other plot related bullshit. and the other one...... well. it doesn't have one. the files on my computer are called either "gay kings rise up" or "second draft" or the even more creative "THIRD draft" lmao BUT. if someone said I HAD to come up with a title OR ELSE I would pick uhhhh The Siege of the White Crane bc that's like. the whole setting. or also Yixing's wonderful very good amazing six months followed by a terrible very bad no good day :)

--

❣ which scene has been the hardest to write so far?

I answered this one already but IM ANSWERING AGAIN bc I can. there is a certain someone's death scene that I've written five or so times in several different ways and none of them have the gut wrenching misery that I'm aiming for lol I can't make the suffering feel genuine!!! also like. I have a decent idea of how being around an actively dying person works and it is. not like in books and movies and shows and getting it to be accurate without making it sound stupid is very hard

--

💔 give a brief character bio of 3-5 mcs

idk how vague or precise this expects me to be. I feel like I should write these like they have the little two sentence character bios in the booklets that USED TO come with video games. (I am very specifically thinking of how like. ssx used to do them.)

name: Liao Yixing

age: 35

birthday: April 13

height: 5'6” (168cm)

weight: 146 lbs (66kg)

eyes: dark brown

hair: black, straight, hip length

skin tone: mid tan

sexuality: bisexual

Yixing is a quiet and often intimidating freelancer working in the city of Jengmi. He doesn't make friends easily and always prefers to work alone, but begins to change his tune when he gets involved with a mysterious group known as the Siege of the White Crane...

--

Ciaran

age: “37”

birthday: December 31

height: 5'7” (170cm)

weight: 141lbs (64kg)

eyes: dark brown, nearly black

hair: black, curly, shoulder length

skin tone: warm brown

sexuality: gay as hell lmao

A former professional dancer, Ciaran is the joint leader of the Siege of the White Crane. He is exceptionally friendly to anyone he meets and makes quick friends with Yixing, but at times it seems he might have ulterior motives...

--

Anwei

age: “35”

birthday: June 20

height: 5'11” (180cm)

weight: 157lbs (71kg)

eyes: golden brown

hair: black, loose curls, shoulder length

skin tone: warm brown

sexuality: lesbian

Anwei is the White Crane herself, and she keeps her cards close to her chest. She is Ciaran's younger sister and oftentimes his biggest rival. An air of mystery surrounds her and her Siege, but she never fails to speak the truth in any situation...

--

Vera Belloch

age: 37

birthday: February 10

height: 5'4” (162cm)

weight: 122lbs (55kg)

eyes: gray

hair: brown, often shaved

skin tone: pale

sexuality: lesbian

Vera is a retired vampire hunter, at one point in time poised to be the greatest hunter who ever lived. She gave up the hunt after losing someone close to her and has been plagued by nightmares of something called the Old Hunt ever since. She reluctantly agrees to help the daughter of the Sovereign himself after a close call brings them together....

--

Andhira Atalia Tahire Elisabeta Maram Serkaan Basjuri

age: 1043

birthday: ???

height: 5'11” (180cm)

weight: 150lbs (68kg)

eyes: dark brown

hair: black, curly, waist length

skin tone: deep brown

sexuality: lesbian

The daughter and firstborn of the Sovereign, Andhira does not particularly care to associate with humans of any kind, yet she finds herself in need of one's assistance after an assassination attempt on her father's life. Not long after they begin to work together she finds that their connection might be deeper than she initially realized...

[forbidding-souda]

Hey hey mod Souda! How are you today? I hope you have a good day!

I always thought about doing this request, oh the day finally has come!

Also, may I say that I took a long fucking time to get used to my gender... And now people are constantly asking my pronouns-- I'm not used to it--- 😭 where am I, I'm scared mom come pick me up😭😭

Anyways! For the request! Could you do Teruteru × Genderfluid reader? 😳

Also also... Happy valentines!

Bye bye!

— 🐭🌙

Teruteru Hanamura with a genderfluid S/O

Why the hell did this take me so long to do hello. Hello my love this one goes out to you. I miss you dearly. Mwah mwah

currently listening: love like blood by killing joke

-Mod Souda

❤ Ever since the two of you first met, you found yourself wondering his opinion on things. Not in the sense of apples vs. oranges, but more in relation to open-mindedness. He doesn't seem too bigoted. Maybe that sexualness he portrudes has no weight on his idea of sexuality and gender.

❤ Which, your theory was only proven the more you stuck around him in class. He was obviously very queer and god did it satisfy you.

❤ You liked him a lot, and the thought of being with somebody who would only label themselves attracted to one side of you is not a preferable situation. So, he seems like your match.

❤ It would be hypocritical if he was anti-gender-fluidity since he partook in multiple 'feminine' things (hair care, eyeliner, basic skincare whenever his sister is around for his birthday with those expensive little passive-aggresive gifts).

❤ He was attracted to you no matter what clothes you wore.

❤ He has always thought you were HELLA attractive.

❤ Other than bluntly flirting with you, he also tried to make you notice that you were different from his interactions with everyone else by trying to loosen his perverted nature towards other people whenever you were around. He didn't want you to think that you don't have his attention.

❤ You have his full attention and all of the time.

❤ Gives you cute little pet-names (some of which have the capability of annoying you) while pinching your cheeks.

❤ No one second guesses him being with somebody genderfluid because, in general, he can appear to be a fluid person as well.

❤ All of his friends will automatically be your friends so you don't have to worry about being unaccepted. His friends are generally very welcoming.

❤ If you do makeup, he will always request you do some on him.

❤ ^ He'll go on basking about it.

❤ He likes keeping multi-colored things in the house. He'll use a pink bathrobe else wear a cute pink apron (kiss the cook?) now that he fully understands that he is with somebody who can welcome the idea.

❤ He has always wanted his nails painted.

❤ And heart pancakes every morning ofc. Unless you don't like pancakes then wowww how dare you.

❤ Genderfluidity is something that he can adapt to easily. If you are still figuring things out then that's perfectly fine, it won't bother him or do anything negative in that sense at all.

❤ And ofc he'll refer to you as whatever you want to be called.

❤ Likes calling you sugar either way.

❤ When the two of you cuddle he loves moving around in his sleep and just claiming certain snuggle positions.

❤ ^ Snuggle is such an embarrassing word I am so sorry.

❤ If you kiss his forehead while he's sleeping he'll let out a cute little half-awake whine.

❤ I'll just say that you can not even explain the concept of genderfluidity to him and he'd just get it.

❤ ^ Like someone would ask him your gender and he'd be like "you know what... I never asked".

❤ Hey man if you're the type of person who likes buying their S/O clothing just know that he'll wear literally whatever you buy him.

❤ Omg cute couple matching onesies or something.

❤ OR CUTE MATCHING NECKLACES IF YOU WEAR NECKLACES.

❤ I think he'd absolutely love matching jewelery.

❤ I'm 100% his immediate family would like you too. His mama will love you no matter WHAT and I am so sure his siblings would at the very least respect you and comprehend your identity.

❤ If he ever is in the situation where he has to describe your identity to people he will do so in the most I-am-in-love-with-them-oh-my-god-why-are-they-so-perfect voice and the most dramatical facial expressions and a blush over his cheeks at the mere thought of you.

❤ "Omg I get to talk about them omg omg" ^