#ALSO THE GRADUATION CAP DOES NOT WORK WELL WITH THE FACT THAT I AM MOSTLY BALD

[starswallowingsea]

I HAD MY EYES CLOSED IN MY GRADUATION PHOTOS?????

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

please tell me your headcannons about the silly old traditions and funny hats and gowns worn at the Assassins Guild graduation ceremonies (bonus points: Vetinari occasionally attends as a distinguished alumnus; differences for those not taking the black) Downey has to make a speech

I love this ask, thank you so much. <3 

--

Downey has added feathers to the hats because it’s Downey and he believes all hats need a nice feather. 

Vetinari: . . .I refuse. 

Downey: It’s a single, white feather. Very stylish. 

Vetinari: You can’t make these hats stylish. It’s impossible. 

Downey: That will not stop me from trying. 

-- 

First it must be said, I place most of my Discworld fashion firmly in the “anywhere from 1350-1650″ camp. Which means there’s lots of diversity but it’s all still very late medieval/early modern. This is a just-me thing though, as the books are all over the place with the fashion. There seemed to be a sense, in the early Watch books, that fashion went backwards (i.e. the more recent, to our mind, the clothes the more old fashioned they are on discworld) but that was quickly abandoned partway through the series and then it became a hodgepodge. 

I still like the early modern feel and so am keeping to it. You can pry Downey’s stupid fucking doublet with its black pearl buttons and his slouchy hat with the Florentine “I’m very gay” feather from my cold, dead hands. 

--

This got long so it’s under the cut. 

Fashion first, because this is Downey and the Assassins we’re talking about after all. 

So I imagine the hats that the professors/teaching staff wear are the slouchy ones like these. This is modeled off of hats that were in fashion when the guild first instituted formal graduation ceremonies which are relatively recent (for a given value of “recent” i.e. only circa 150/200 years ago). 

The students graduating with the Black get the slouchy hats too. The ones who didn’t take the black get the more familiar flat board graduation cap. (Students 100% balance things on top of the flat board cap. This may or may not be desired by the cap-wearer.)

The formal, ceremonial gowns, indeed the entire outfit, for the teachers are hilariously ornate because of course they are. It’s the Assassin’s Guild. 

All ceremonial gowns would be different iterations of the houppelande. 

Beneath the gown there is the Assassin’s black of the doublet with a long-ish skirt beneath the belt (knee length? perhaps floor - but then it starts hitting gown territory). The doublet is form fitting at the top, belted off with the skirt below. Naturally, there are very nice buttons. The linen undershirt is white and can be seen at the collar and wrists. Leggings/tights/hose/whatever you want to call them, also black and worn with dress shoes, not their usual working day boots. All men present wear this, including Vetinari. 

(Downey: No grey-blacks allowed on stage unless it’s representing your specialty and I know you didn’t specialize in astronomy and quantum mathmatics. 

Vetinari: 

Vetinari: But it’s My Colour. 

Downey: Put the doublet on.) 

Women on staff are also all in black, but it’s a dress over a kirtle which is over their undershirt which can be seen at the cuffs. The dress et al is also form fitting on the top with tightly buttoned (or laced) sleeves, then there’s the belt and full skirts after. Dresses are always worn with a high neckline. They too have formal dress shoes, though you can’t see them. 

The ceremonial gowns are black with coloured lining and trim. I’m thinking the sleeves are large and pinned back to show the lining which represents the general field you’re a specialist in. So, green for biology; red for literature/linguistics; white for deportment/dancing; blue for history; yellow for mathematics or whatever. The lining can be dual-colours if applicable. The trim will accent the lining but doesn’t mean anything in particular.  

The slouchy hats, however, tell you what the person specialized in with regards to their training i.e. poisons; knife work etc. 

Some gowns have that long drapey hood that is purely for aesthetics, but not all. I’m thinking if your specialty is stealth (coughHavelockcough) you get it. But, of course, as a specialist in stealth you don’t want people knowing that so no one who qualifies for a drapey hood wears it. 

Students wear simple black gowns with relatively short, deep cut sleeves so you can see more of their doublet beneath. Boys wear the usual doublet/hose combo (kind of like this) and girls the formal dress/kirtle combo (think this, but all black and with less jewels and tighter sleeves) beneath their graduation gowns. 

All gowns on students and staff alike are closed in the front - either with buttons or ties. 

Aside from the hat distinction between those who are taking the black and those who aren’t, the gowns for those taking the Black are all black and have the drapey hood. Those that aren’t taking the black have gowns trimmed with a dark colour - maybe blue? grey? something that blends but still is distinct.

--

Ceremonial Nonsense 

The graduation is held in the great hall where the students usually dine on a day-to-day basis. Parents are allowed and all families get a “plus two” for grandparents or family friends or whatever. 

There are two separate ceremonies - the first is for those taking the Black. That’s the one where Downey forces Vetinari to give a speech as he is Guild Provost and one a Distinguished Old Boy etc. 

Downey does his speech first and usually lines up those coming after him (Vetinari; Mericet; Lady T’Malia is what I have in my head. Though Mericet can usually convince Downey to sub in someone else as he is Too Old For This Shit).

For those taking the Black Downey will pepper in Fun Facts About Assassins and Helpful Pro Tips for Life (some of which are more helpful than others). Vetinari’s speech usually offers subtle rebuttals to Downey’s more outlandish life advice. Lady T’Malia’s is a universal favourite because she has the dry, disdainful wit of a person who has seen way too much nonsense in her life and has lived to continue to roll her eyes at it all. 

Mericet, when he’s made to do a speech and can’t pawn it off on one of the younger staff, is always very short. His record time was 15 seconds wherein he got to the podium, looked somberly out at his soon to be former students, and said “All I can say to you is, good luck and don’t die” then he sat down. Downey could be heard to mutter: Really?? rather loudly. 

Vetinari, more out of a desire to cause Downey some form of annoyance than anything else, will drone on for a long time and pepper in weird references only the headmaster of the guild will understand. He makes a few tiger jokes every year to which Downey, when he gets up to introduce the next speaker, will reply: “You really need to get over that”. No one knows what they’re talking about. However, the students always haaate it when Vetinari takes the podium. There is much sighing and sliding down in seats out of boredom. 

The students are called up to the stage the receive their diploma in order of their name and it’s done by house (so viper house then black widow then poison dart frog or whatever they all are). 

Weapons are expressly forbidden on all students after that One Unfortunate Incident back when Cruces was headmaster about which the least said, soonest mended. 

Back when Downey and Vetinari were graduating, when weapons were allowed, all students were given a ceremonial sword and they got to wear it when they went up to take their diploma. Students still get a ceremonial sword (or dagger, depending on preference) but they are received after the ceremony. 

The infamous ring is presented alongside the diploma. 

For those not taking the Black, it’s still the same roster of speakers but it’s usually a faster ceremony (though, that is changing over the years as the Guild is sought out more and more as a general-purpose educational institution for parents seeking a classical education for their children). 

Students in this group are also gifted a ceremonial sword but they’re allowed to wear theirs during the graduation ceremony because most can do nice, polite, gentlemanly dueling and not much else. Unlike their colleagues who can use it in increasingly diverse and experimental fashions. 

After both ceremonies are complete there is a grand dinner with students and their families and much conviviality. Under Downey’s reign as headmaster the amount of “accidental deaths” that occurred at this dinner have decreased dramatically. Mostly because unlike previous headmaster, Downey thinks it a waste of a good education to knock someone off so soon. Also, it is deplorable manners and not civil.

(Vimes, “It’s also immoral.” Downey, “I fail to see your point, commander?”) 

Wait at least a year or two until inhuming that One Guy who was A Class A Cunt During Maths. Or, if they’re really that bothersome, at least have the grace to wait until after the pudding has been served. 

--

Pre-graduation tomfoolery 

The graduating class, as a whole (well, those who survived the Run and those not taking the Black who haven’t accidentally fallen down the stairs), have two weeks between end of term and graduation and tend to run absolutely wild. 

Downey’s main rule is: no one is inhumed, his dogs are left alone and nothing is set on fire; flooded; booby-trapped; or exploded etc.* 

*see fine print for continuing list. 

It is considered a grand tradition for each house to prank their house master. One year, students cellophaned everything in Mericet’s office. Including individual pages of books. Downey thought this absolutely Delightful. Mericet said, “that’s it, I’m retiring.” Which is, coincidentally, what he says every year. 

Students will also strike up a very large game of Gotcha (i.e. Assassin) over the course of the intervening weeks between Term and Graduation. It used to be a very deadly endeavour but due to Downey’s new rule of “no inhuming until after graduation you daft kids” it’s just become a way to dunk on people. 

These are also the weeks that students clean out their rooms which is always an adventure. Many will try and discreetly sneak out their illegal pot plants and shroom logs. Those that hide them in places that aren’t their room will have minor panic attacks because Lady T’Malia and other staff enjoy rounding up the plants ahead of the students and watching the fallout. 

(Vetinari: I really should tell Vimes you have enough here to supply everyone in the city for a decade. 

Downey: Leave my drug collection alone.)

There is a lot of Lady T’Malia and others being like, “You all do know we hid our illegal shit in the exact same places, right?’ 

Students will also throw end-of-year ragers in the common room which the staff pretend to know nothing about. These tend to get very messy very quickly. Downey will show up around 3am to shut it down, though. Because some people need to sleep and aren’t 18 anymore. 

--

Anyway, that’s the long and short of my headcanon for Guild Graduation nonsense. All in all it’s a rowdy if somewhat bittersweet time. Downey secretly gets a little teary eyed over it. Aww look at his tiny little murderers going off into the big wide world. He remembers when they first arrived with knobbly knees and big eyes. His paternal side comes out in full force. 

Vetinari: it’s very good you have hundreds of students and several dogs because I don’t know what you’d do without them since you’re basically 110% a dad. 

Downey: i might have gotten married. What a horrifying concept. 

Vetinari: 

Vetinari: I have weird feelings about that which I am not going to explore in any great depth. 

--

Thank you so much for the ask! <3 <3 

[unproduciblesmackdown]

returning the favor: do you have any hcs re: winston, past or present, that you haven't expounded upon before or at length or just feel like talking about again. whatever you like

Thank You.......yeah idk really what hc's i've like "officially" described here that often lol, but then also there's that whole complication where i don't really ever come up with ideas & when asked anything i'm probably going [???] like, classics like "what do you like out of [broad parameter]" & it's like damn....i dunno. what ideas do i have about winsotn who i've thought about every day for > 2 yrs??? that's tough.....& Then the further chaos of like, when i do have hc's or w/e it's less discrete, concrete invented ideas & more towards the end of the spectrum that's like "well i kinda interpret this part of canon vaguely this way" &/or "i have This vague notion that i haven't solidified into a pretend fact or that i'm not at all committed to or take that seriously" where it's like, not only is this not really nailed down but it's basically free floating / i might have other ideas that would contradict each other lol. seems like a more concise list of Stats that are fully/exclusively my ideas is more exciting, but instead i can offer vague "i dunno / what ifs" based on vibes that i verbosely describe lmao, plus i'll forget a bunch of ideas i may have had i'm sure but you know. what else have i ever offered; never really trying to sell this material to otherwise uninterested parties or only make posts that guaranteed more than one person might enjoy, why would i be starting now; and ig if i write a bunch of stuff here & go "oh & i forgot like a half dozen obvious things" i can add on to it if it's a big deal.....plus it's always tricky with billions in particular being vague abt its own characters lmao, we only see [outside of work] personal stuff if it's going to become directly tied to [definitely at work] professional plotlines, or Maybe glimpse some character contextualizing things for the more central characters....side characters have more blanks to fill but also that means. just more that's blank lol & kinda a mystery of Up To Interpretation.....i figured one way to have any structure for this at all is to have a part looking at each winston involving episode's info. well anyways, after this meandering intro that kind of illustrates how i'm sure the rest of things will go here lol, i'm just gonna throw a bunch of stuff down in general. thanks again for the prompt to do so, b/c why not

really the one concrete discrete idea i have which isn't in the canon text is, of course: he is autistic

does he Know? idk. either way, think he's pretty aware of how he operates (& how he Can't operate), but if he doesn't know that's probably more for the "also: he's self loathing, which was basically textually implied" stuff lol. just mentioned it but i do always enjoy the tayston idea that taylor's talking abt in the past having it floated by a therapist/s or whomever that they could be autistic, them considering it but it not applying; winston going "hmm" & doing his own considering & researching & then maybe exclusively sharing the news w/taylor....but of course, maybe he's figured it out himself at some point before. i do think he'd figure it out himself though rather than anyone else directly suggesting it (maybe out here being diagnosed with "just the guy who sucks who we don't like / won't act right or normal" sort of usual experience) & i think, if he knows, he's not about to want ppl at work to know, b/c not as though anyone (but taylor & other quants) particularly seems to be impressed by his quanting proficiency, but he sure gets some validation/affirmation through that route (more re: that of course) and knows that ppl going "oh he's autistic so of course he's better at Doing Math / computer stuff as a like, mechanical efficiency sort of thing" or whatever. and the fact that taylor can interact with him / gives him some leeway to generally do his thing means he's kind of already got space to operate how he operates, see the start of this section....and idk. transitioning into the next section ig

just an Interpretation Of Canon thing here but, re: how these characters generally operate & what their reason is for being around doing stuff in the first place, i guess it's that winston does genuinely like to do & is interested in the math/coding stuff involved here, was also genuinely interested in working for taylor specifically (whatever The Hype specifically was), then you have taylor having the "despite your demeanor, your skills are superior" stance & appreciating what he can do & letting him do it by hiring him for real & all, & here we are, Q is for Quantitative, baby......he must find it rewarding enough to be getting to do this quanting stuff and also, the potential for validation when anyone recognizes he's good at it & by extension finds something about him good & wants him around to any degree

okay just that Episode By Episode stuff for a section here

3x03:

kinda extra room for interpretation b/c this was written as a one off character and reintroducing him in 3x09, written to be recurring, feels like it kinda offers a Soft Reboot for what we got here, where i guess how i take things is that we can suppose in both 3x03 & 3x09 winston's putting on a deliberate Performance to some degree based on what he thinks the potential employer wants to see, but it's also not completely fake / inaccurate either time, & like, maybe the 3x03 vibe wasn't a type of performance he'd only just ever put on for this axe cap interview, & even if it was deliberately bold maybe he was sort of thinking he Could bank on his value as a quant meaning he holds most of the cards (or can get away with acting like it)

building on that & as a More General point of interpretation again: think it's easy to suppose winston could've had an existence w/many elements of frustrations & disappointments & Rejection, but where like, he did figure out these areas of interest & proficiency that seemed to be a more positive force in his life, & leaned into them / focused on them further for it, & i could see him focusing on milestones / graduating from one thing to the next & conceptualizing like, well, if i just get to This point by working on This thing then i'll have it together & be able to move through existence more successfully, like, there's winston going into undergrad & kind of disappointed he's not having that good a time socially / feels like he's missing out / being left out still, but he can be like, well that's fine (: i'm totally fine abt it b/c i'm focusing on the Education & Experience here & when i'm entering the job market as an amazing quant anyone would want to hire then ppl will be seeing me in a positive light & things will fall into place / go great for me / i'll feel like i fit in & am doing things right within some structure. & i think maybe he Did have all those other job offers / opportunities & he was at least partly feeling a bit "objectively" confident, & also maybe just hoping he Could be that confident & that, you know, if he goes ahead & acts like that's the case, it could be confirmed / become true....anyways then obviously disillusionment time

since his outfits are introduced here: more "just how i'm interpreting canon" stuff in that i do just suppose he is mostly focusing on comfort & it'd kinda get in the way of things if he couldn't. flipflops might've been a statement piece but also i figure at least in part about the comfort / lack of much opportunity for restriction or ill fit or chafing texture or anything, same goes re: pants & shirts. interesting he likes to wear the patterned layers but doesn't really wear like, stripes or plaid ever. plus it could well be that Just A Tee is too informal unless you're the formalest of all by virtue of position, i.e. the ceo, but also we sure often enough see him wearing hoodies &/or multiple layers, like, maybe that's just for warmth or weight or what have you, always considering "what if it's about being self conchy as well (different way of saying self conscious)"

3x09:

so yeah with winston not having taken another job (at least maybe only like, temporary ones as these self contained gigs / just something to pay the bills) figure it's been a Depressive Period for him here lol & deliberately going on a journey of like self reflection / examination & going "haha yeah hated what i saw" is like, i don't think the self loathing is anything new, the confidence in 3x03 kind of an optimistic bandaid lol like well here's the new me as i understand / hypothesize / hope he could be, totally confident in being backed up by how valuable he is as a quant, then taylor kind of ripped that off and wound's open again but that wound was also not brand new or something he was unaware of / that didn't affect him before now

re: math meetup, i can see that being him presenting more evidence of his talent as a quant but also specifically going "see, i do this collaborative thing" to present this more conciliatory and cooperative approach to taylor, & am also taking it as evidence that he really does Enjoy math / coding stuff beyond it simply being a means to a professional end. i also like to think he has been / continues going to math meetup regularly, at least once a month, maybe every other week, and that it's this semi social event, like the relevant irl group you found back in the day that like, meets up for pizza before and drinks afterwards. i also like to think that, like, while he might come off as A Bit Much during said math meetup / just speak up frequently enough and often enough with some insistence lol, people Are there to meet up about the math and his contributions Are valued despite if his delivery/approach isn't always endearing or whatever. and even if he's not really popular / warmly embraced in the more [socializing event] bookends of the meetup, he's perfectly tolerated, and there's even a person or two or three (also regular attendees) who do vibe with him enough to like, invite / even want him to sit with them / talk with them outside that Math Setting. math meetup pals, maybe he doesn't meet up with these people outside these events but maybe they have each other's contacts and sometimes text. not these intimate personal relationships, but still something real and positive and refreshing. it'd be nice if math meetup could kinda be like what he hoped for from quanting, this way his math lets him "qualify" to access this group / activity, his aptitude "making up for" perceived lack of interpersonal / social charm & charisma & what have you, & having some reliably friendly people around even if of course that's not on its own going to mean he's totally socially fulfilled / not often lonely or anything. hc: he's often lonely & not totally socially fulfilled

he does, of course, want to work for taylor specifically, as long as they want him to, and this is sort of his second chance to find validation through working as a quant lol. think that yeah sure winston likes validation in general, who doesn't but also of course he's maybe a bit Above Average sensitive to / keen on it, but he'll also care about Affirmation if it's coming from people whose opinion he particularly values. think that it's easy to suppose he's also especially sensitive to taylor's assessments here thanks to the fact they really hit a (raw) nerve with him like, sure is the potential to get caught up in feedback loop city & say, have a few months mired in self loathing & an especial lack of certainty & confidence, if someone's kinda gone "i hate your self hatred" lol, but he also Did have this especial interest in / high opinion of taylor before that 3x03 interview, & so that's what continues to be part of it here

but then also interpreting that second 3x09 scene as like, he Does independently Know His Value as a quant and yknow not only has his pride but also can't and isn't going to first and foremost focus on trying to socially perform being peak Accommodating and Appealing here lol. but he still cares about what taylor thinks, wants to work for/with them, and i think it was Mutually Appreciated in the last scene that there was Mutual Effort to cooperate w/the other, giving him a Cue instead of just being mad & obfuscating it unless & until giving up on him completely or w/e is Constructive. interpreting winston as someone who sure can be a bit petty on purpose, especially in the face of some wounded pride (where he seems to take pride in his quant abilities & maybe not much of anything else: see the self loathing otherwise), but isn't really one to be deliberately antagonistic, especially not towards, yknow, the person he specifically wants to appeal to, but he also knows he can come off as grating whether inadvertently or not, so he might be testing the waters a little as well

3x11

he's using headphones even though no one else is in the room, that's a preference / he may also just like to block out other sound in general, as there's no audio of [winston's music faintly playing as / before he takes off his headphones] or indication he paused anything. does he like metal, what with the yngwie malmsteen reference? maybe, but that might just be a Billions Reference thing that isn't meant to indicate much / anything abt the specific character. i don't have any hcs about it anyways besides "okay" if so

first time we see his watch, it's not the calculator watch until s5 but i am a fan of said calc watch....gotta suppose it could represent him being here for the math of it all, what with how fancy/expensive watches are kinda the whole like status / power play thing, and a calculator watch is, afaik, not expensive, these casio calculator watch listings i'm seeing are all priced like, $15 to $25 range. so.

2nd scene is the first time we see sleeves pushed up, a frequent choice, maybe if he's focusing sleeves against forearms / Wrists & Hands can be bothersome. also not the first time he puts his hands in his pockets but i think that's a deliberate choice for winston's sort of Default Pose, equate it to the choice to have jared hang / hold on to his backpack straps.

guess he can also be a bit petty / rude / grating on purpose if ppl are getting in the way of his mathing / coding or otherwise thwarting it, at least probably taylor can relate / sympathize what with them wanting to Get It Right / being bothered if people get it wrong but could've avoided this

noticing all the caffeine and the fact he maybe didn't leave the basement / was powering through that project All At Once....just noting that down as a potential Approach, wanting to not interrupt focus &/or bear down & keep a fairly intense pace until it's finished / stay in the zone or what have you

definitely doing some deliberately cocky Testing / pushing back / amicable power struggle with taylor there, confirming he does have leverage due to that quanting ability after all, Despite His Demeanor / not being "sweet"

by this point definitely consciously kinda wants taylor to rail him.

4x03

i have no concrete hc's of instances inspiring winston to think he's "always seeing the future" but god i wish he did. he's right a lot though, maybe he just notices as much lol

talking mostly to taylor here, then concluding with "i only thought it but didn't say it; doesn't count....damnit." like he wants Their validation thanks, even if recognizing his Win here still wouldn't help them either way....also first time we see him w/coworkers for real, he's really freely Interacting.....time to go ahead and say he'd like to be work friends / at least have friendly interactions at work, might be a bit desperate for such positive social interactions, especially in this environment where he thinks the "objectively" good thing about him is most relevant, but it's cringe & fail (&/or vulnerable to Attack) to outright Want something, like validation / affirmation / a positive response or a simple "yeah you're right" "positive" response

first Space Shirt, followed by ones that are like, also &/Or Sci Fi Shirts. does he like space? i guess so

he's autistic

4x08

here & in 4x11, we don't know how he's gotten this info about taylor re: the arc w/their dad or with axe cap, but he's apparently mused on it on his own like this & isn't just quoting what someone else told him about how taylor must feel about xyz & how that might apply to the situations at hand, even though (unless he cassandra'd it) he wouldn't've had that much cause to suppose it'd definitely be relevant to have ideas about how taylor feels / is navigating a situation & why, maybe he just likes to be prepared like that / stay in the loop but yknow, maybe he's just also interested in them as a person beyond what's most immediately relevant to him doing quant stuff for them

he's already done the sort of kicking himself / wincing / apologizing or agreeing he fucked up an exchange thing before but, the genuine disappointment / momentary discouragement in it always lol....self loathing guy

love how he has these little like, clarifying explanations of things. "total control of the instrument," "always seeing the future," "because i win".....he's out here wanting to communicate to connect & to be understood, not so much as a potential for a power play / status climb and thus a conflict.....can see ppl who are used to / Do see interactions in that light to interpret winston yelling about having won as a like, rubbing it in people's faces show of superiority thing, but pretty sure he's just excited and wants a high five

4x11

having talked about the fact none of the desks in the tmc hq main floor seem to be winston's (& knowing that Could just be wroland not being reliably available to be in the bg of shots lol, analyzing s4 shots for some Consistently Empty desk) but it is fun to also consider that maybe tmc Could've had a secret extension in that that quant haunt in the basement was kept. a little more furnishing and it could be pretty chill, even though the lack of windows might not always be ideal. where's he sit!

also the whole "guy who'd be the first one smothered" moment like, guess i could've mentioned it in 3x03 more but yeah my Headcanon here is that winston maybe has a master's degree, not a phd though (him saying "50 phds" in 3x11 i think was meant to differentiate from him on both points, aka he's 1 guy, without a phd) & this is his first "real" job in any field. b/c i'm guessing like, people are here to get Paid, but as mentioned w/the watch (& just how winston acts in general, he doesn't really seem like he's raring to show off / really take advantage of having money or anything) it doesn't seem like he's, like, the "exceptionally focusing on personally making as much as possible" guy, and lauren's remark seems to emphasize / place the context on winston just not having like, savings from prior salaried years at a job or anything, more of a practical matter, maybe he's out here hoping for some more financial security, also they are all living in nyc, so. on that note, maybe he has an okay apartment but like, not without problems / not absolutely ideal, but it's okay. this would just be Convenient as an hc also lol

don't think the monologue was completely memorized, but it wasn't completely off the cuff either, he'd maybe been brainstorming scripts in his head / had some particular parts solidified word for word, but also hardly think he was guaranteed planning to deliver an admonishlogue at all, seems like it was some important factors that he was just kind of already irritated, nobody was listening / people Were social pressuring him to drop it or not interested in entertaining like "yeah i think you should talk to taylor about it" at all, think it was clear that talking to others was only going to lead to them telling him to drop it / trying to not have anyone say anything to taylor, and then that taylor just jumped in, which i hardly think he was hoping for

always Something that we can expressly see winston moving to sit down in that soon to be empty meeting room as everyone else is clearly filing out lol, like, can see how he might not be able to go "well, back to work" immediately and need some irritation / feeling like shit / guess who just got yeeellllllllllled aaaaaat to burn off, might need some time to absorb "well i guess i just deferred so no bonus as was probably expected," but can also suppose that maybe when winston gets majorly Shut Down he has shutdowns. saying all of four words in the wake of things, otherwise the fact he has this approach of tensing up, not talking at all, kind of just holding onto eye contact as his last way of "properly" participating in the exchange w/o bailing entirely, while also outwardly withering, like clearly these kinds of moments are pretty significantly affecting....feels like he could find it difficult to talk much, or at all, in the wake of some / need some time to recuperate a bit & have some distance & quiet & not just jump back into work like he's having a fine and normal time. sometimes pondering like, not only those notions like taylor insisting winston not be Interrupted when he hasn't technically started talking yet (giving him the buffering / latency time) but also like, fun kinda imagining them sitting across from each other having a texting conversation....or times winston would rather have an exchange via email......or make use of the sticky notes......or just have taylor talking to him and picking up on his nonverbal responses

winston's very Not present in tmc meetups / get togethers this season & again we know that this could be because his actor wasn't very available but it's still the case In Canon that there's only so many tmcers and they're all seeing each other outside work / market hours for varyingly formal or informal purposes & he's never included. & simultaneously hold the hc's that he could be choosing not to go or he could just never be invited in the first place l o l.....in either of these situations the reason for declining to go or being excluded could be up to "b/c other ppl don't like having him around" and idk, best case scenario is he doesn't want to go for some other reason, but he acts pretty okay with the All Hands meetups we do see / when in meetings with the other named employees he's pretty raring to interact with them, so :/

4x12

i do like to think it's fun to imagine What If Taylor Had A Phonecall With Winston Before This Monologue; someone once told me that explaining is an admission of failure, i'm sure you remember, i was on the phone with you, sweetheart.....just them both having a more sympathetic approach with each other and a sort of dialed back reconciliation, tbt 3x09, without an audience / roomful of other people

do think that his wearing a tmc logo tee into axe cap hq was a deliberate Statement Piece, like wearing flipflops into axe cap in his true first time being there lol

first time we see the backpack, & the headphones (in this season), like the point you (nothingunrealistic) made about the backpack possibly kind of exerting pressure / compression in a Sensory Way. let's see it again

as good a time as any to bring up how it's such a consistent pattern that it Must be a choice that winston smiles in this direction :/ and grimaces / winces / frowns this way :\ but a choice of the actor of course, was it ever a conscious thing on winston's end, would not put it beyond the realm of possibility he's ever consciously thought of stuff like "even if words fail me(tm) i Gotta hang on to eye contact".....i'm thinking of times he is smiling hard enough that you just gotta do it more symmetrically, like here in 4x12

5x01

he likes bagels

think that this could've been another case of "people who are used to interactions used for conflict / power plays / stepping on other people to status climb (axe cappers in general, maybe team ben having to be extra prone to be on the lookout for these strategies when they're more often on the receiving end of them) misinterpreting winston socializing as means of connection (wanting to talk about the common work thread / interest with coworkers)"

even if for some reason quants were cold shouldering axe cappers like, a sound strategy even if team ben are worthy exceptions. Winston Can Get Petty When People Blame Quants Talking About Being Quants For Axe Cappers Harassing Tmc & also when in the process of doing so everyone's like "also you're smarter than us but no you're not, any math quants could do fundamental analysts could do better" like, winston getting more deliberately antagonistic when ppl are going after his Math Aptitude / value as a quant when that's his "objective" point of pride & confidence & possibly like haha self loathing can't get me here

5x02

winston's decimal points being more precise here i think indicates that the show is not taking the stance of "yeah the quants are just any old analysts with an attitude of superiority" lol

do think he selected that particular seating placement b/c it's like, hey furthest away from axe cap, most aligned with taylor's desk & angled towards it, perfect.....what a letdown

guess this episode suggests he and mafee have chats sometimes, and winston maybe confides At All Sensitive Info w/the guy? bold

always just smh like well thank god we were given this subplot where winston was a plot device really for dollar bill's arc or whatever............what a gift

5x03

just noticing as always how winston is the one person saying they should go for it vs the other two's skepticism / trepidation, and taylor decides to go for it.....they do value his input / trust his judgment

i am also noticing how often winston, as the math guy who doesn't really fit in w/ the whole axe / caply approach & style, has this role in giving taylor these crucial opportunities to pursue their own direction rather than be mired down in the misery of axe cap determining everything....3x11 & his algorithm letting them break completely away from axe cap, 4x11 & his admonishlogue making some Points & then next episode taylor does decide to abandon the revenge jag & says they were wrong & they're sorry....5x03 & this nlp strategy plotline being the first thing taylor could actively pursue for tmc after 2 eps of being dragged painfully through axe cap nonsense, & the fact this, in the next episode, leads to the Impact Fund idea / mase carb

5x04

see that last point

5x05

guess that until confirmed, The Glances being significant is a Headcanon Interpretation lol. anyways i do like taylor giving him these discreet, nonverbal cues as a very deliberate method of communication titrated betwixt them

oh right and an Age Cue here, before that was nailed down i think i already hc'd winston as either the same age as, or a year older than taylor, and that's still true lol, think that's how it goes with the timelines (taylor's being kinda uncertain, and winston's as well, having prior just kinda gone "well if taylor's 22 when they show up as the typical post undergrad age, and each season spans approx a year, and maybe winston spent just a year or two post undergrad getting a master's b/c nothing nails down how long it would take & he could've kinda been ahead of the curve as it were, he could be, say, 23 thru 25 in s3 when he shows up, to taylor's Maybe 23" as the Idea)

just wants to work for taylor as long as they'll have him, but would also like to be openly valued / affirmed on a pretty basic level lol...

one of those matters that's like, i do think that this is what the material is Trying to convey but it's not concrete / explicit, in that i think winston somewhat Likes rian right off lol like. i mean he's also still annoyed on principle, this is maybe his replacement & that stings that it's even a possibility & of course he has reason to want to feel like "oh well this person Clearly sucks" lol, but then there he is trying to scope out the situation & get immediate intel & it's like, here's this fellow 20something you immediately think is pretty (the mental comparison to an A lister as a dunk, lmao) & you see her being perfectly friendly with your nice coworker you're also friendly enough with, that's one degree of separation, now here he comes talking about how cool & epic & smart & capable she is, again makes sense he's still first & foremost bothered by the situation & has cause to just be more jealous about how well everyone immediately thinks of her (see: winston making bad first impressions that may never be undone, the fact other coworkers were probably never going around openly impressed with / praising him after meeting him for 5 sec, or like, ever) but i suppose this immediate underlying sense of attraction / affinity hits in that First Sighting as well

love that we see the feet up on the desk show of confidence again, very funny & glad it's back.....a tool in his arsenal for when he's Very Bothered But (unsuccessfully) Acting Very Unbothered / when he's trying to pitch for his employment lol

when did he have a first gf? perfect time for an hc.....feels like it'd have been like, idk, older high schoolers at the youngest, that kind of emotional commentary....or in college. sometimes pondering the idea like, what if he had a bf first actually.....or not, & Feeling A Way around other guys sometimes like, hmm guess i think this guy is pretty cool &/or i'm kinda like "god i wish that were me" about, then some more noticeable Tension as he's older even if he can't really discern the reason b/c this person's pretty nice & cool actually, hmm. then one day you're doing hw together with a while for code to compile & Oh Hey Lol

meanwhile think clearly rian defuses the Reason For Rivalry (and also clearly immediately likes him / interacting with him & you know, outright sticks up for him & in this significant way) & then when they connect over Math it's all coming together very outright like Oh Hey Lol 😳

also he Gets Right Back To Work easily enough, & like, i think already there's a deliberate performance of "i'm now totally unbothered," but he's just pretty good at shaking things off apparently. & he kind of has to be, to not bail completely or else tamp down his own personality / avoid interactions, but you know. plus that like, he may get irritated when his pride's wounded but around here people can have a whole crisis & arc about it if their egos are bruised in the slightest, so like. pretty blasé

5x06

this isn't really any hc or Interpretation by any stretch but this is the first time we've seen winston pull that particular attitude in that second scene with rian and it's beautiful.....if something's bothering him he's so often like outright indignant but this is like, i'm Bothered but i'm being so dignant about it, for like 4 sec

also the bright green hoodie / bright, high contrast, geometric blockbuster tee is so Vivid but like, always noting how he wears relatively colorful outfits. fun to go "maybe this one's deliberately extra eye catching b/c of this new crush" lol

5x07

the difficulty in reading that much into things when the lack of sobriety could be making any & everything an outlier, & can't even really read into "apparently down to take stimulants (beyond caffeine) on a dime" b/c well, so is everyone else, so that this situation can unfold, we knew he had a crush on rian (or i guess we didn't, but this is pretty direct about it), we knew he likes validation, taylor Knows him well enough that it's not just like "oh he's acting weird? well that's winston for you" to them, which we also knew but it's fun to confirm further lol

and now for some more free floating / general concepts

family? i have no idea. feel like he either has no siblings or several but yknow, anything's possible. we know what he's like Now, don't think he got that solid self esteem / self confidence as an emergent quality from [everything that happened to him before 3x03] & don't suppose he has this like, rock solid close warm familial relationship of understanding & unconditional love & support w/whoever he grew up with, parents or siblings or whoever he lived with....like, the relationship/s could be Fine but you know, still not all that close

i don't think he was every completely friendless (or if he was, it didn't last Too long) in terms of like, throughout school maybe he had some pals, no amazing close [fingers crossed Like That] ones where someone had like, grown up as his next door bestie and they did everything together & knew everything about each other, nothing all that close, but he had people to sit with at lunch or what have you, even if at times like, the table nobody else really sits at but the people who don't have anywhere else to sit lmao. maybe some slightly closer friendships here & there, but people often kind of got subsumed into other friend groups that he wasn't otherwise a part of / otherwise just kind of gradually distanced again...but also possible he had perfectly amicable occasions of like, maybe only having a class or two with certain people, not striking up intimate friendships but hitting it off well enough.........like, winston's out here Not having been stomped down into suppressing his personality all the time, he's still fairly earnest & forthcoming & eager to connect, just sort of vaguely going for "he maybe have always had this element of discouragement & disappointment re: socializing / connecting / forming relationships / sometimes just being accepted on a basic level, but he also didn't have his spirit totally extinguished either" although there's also the room for stuff like, yknow, him Holding Out Hope like "well nobody likes me now / i'm unhappy but maybe once i'm in college [gets to college & still isn't having a great time] okay well once i Enter The Workforce" lol. you know

but it's also like, hardly think he's Only Just Now experiencing the [winston: ___ everyone: get his ass] type stuff & pushback & punishment & disdain over not really doing anything but people hate his style & vibe, & feel like there's also still room for like, yep wow got burned sometimes / having had some pretty negative experiences......we do have to end up in this place where, you know, 3x03 happens and he doesn't just go "guess finance isn't for me!" & dust himself off & go get some Guarantees from some tech firms, & instead he's Really Glad [Taylor] Called & hasn't taken some other more desired job between 3x03 & that call & is immediately like "good news: i do hate myself" so like, can't see him having just thrived his way to this point....evidently not all dating relationships have been just epic highs & victories, maybe he has those math meetup pals now & maybe idk there's other people he's in sort of in contact with, maybe people from college / grad school or the like, still not that close, figure he's generally been lonely like, overall, despite regularly enough seeking out / striving for connections

oh yeah speaking of, the idea that he has a cat maybe lol, in part simply for company, a little guy that lives in your house / apartment....but also maybe he doesn't

always just some general notions like, also idk maybe he engages in hobbies, talks to people through that just like with math meetup....talked about the Embroidery idea, got that computers/programming connection, was thinking like, idk fuck it amateur photography, develop your own film, maybe he took a class in college or high school or something, same with like, maybe he plays a musical instrument, said "the cello, why not" about that as an early [shrug] idea lol. he does like space, maybe he does Anything with that....rip to any astronomy clubs In Nyc like, guess you're not seeing shit, but. 4x11 au, after deferring his bonus he goes to some cool cinematographic celestial occasion like taylor & the sea glass fish carousel lmao. taylor catches up & they have their [i'm sure you remember, i was on the phone with you, sweetheart] exchange lol.....except also not, b/c you wouldn't really want to have Parallels with m/any moments ft. wendy & taylor :/

recalled like a particularly casual / throwaway idea about like "lol what if he was somewhat thalassophobic" in part b/c once actor william dropped that lore abt himself in an interview, but. could have somewhat some other phobia/s. or not really any! what a world

maybe sometimes he's out here like, single & ready to Fuck like, focusing on just hooking up w/people sometimes rather than really looking to date at the juncture, although it could both be true like, he'd Like to be dating but also doesn't really currently want to do all the Putting Himself Out There & such of seeking it out / trying to consciously navigate it, but sometimes it's more manageable like, just wanting to have sex. looking out for himself when he can & how he can lol

speaking of, some vague sexy hcs

gets pegged

especial fan of Tongue Against Tongue texture, enjoys some Grounding elements to avoid being overwhelmed / narrow things to the more relevant sensory input at hand, like the weight/pressure of a partner leaning / lying against him / holding him tightly, if he's overwhelmed in a good way / kinda got some sensory overflow in a good way he might cry during sex In A Good Way lol, took some time maybe in his Personal Sexual Experience to figure out some general differences in "what he doesn't like at all" or "what's off the table / too unpleasant for him at some times but Not necessarily at all times & might be completely enjoyable sometimes," like, am i willing to perform oral sex, am i willing & Enthusiastically so, is that way too much actually, it can be all of them at varying times....maybe in more everyday general situations he refrains from stims in front of others unless stressed enough, but while having sex with someone especially if at all nervous it's like, there can be this transition between repressing stims & being more unfiltered / uninhibited where they kind of build up & then come through in kicks only to be reined back in, either like, he simply does go for a more reined in approach the whole time or anyone else is willing to ride this out with him / he kind of has the time & space to figure out more of a flow, in which case he might still stim but you know, not as though people aren't used to stims in this situation, i.e. reacting to stimulation with movement & vocalization is at least expected & it could once again be like "well he's a bit weird with it but hey" lol or you know, not that some partners can't be understanding or have had experience w/similar partners. hardly make or break but this can be a vulnerable interaction here / hard to shake the self consciousness & sense of "i Do have to filter myself and act The Right Way" all at once just b/c you'd want to

hey and let him sing karaoke or something lmao, winston is as Dramatic as he is, he would give a performance. work in a way to let everyone who sings sing around lol, could throw in some Affectations so that it's like yeah winston can sing without having to be like "wow winston, when'd you become a trained broadway performer" lmao. imagine. which reminds me of the time will joked about like, oh yeah winston Gets That A Lot re: people recognizing he looks like the guy in deh, aka will roland....the limitations of "this is set in real nyc" including occasional references to recent / popular shows, fuck it maybe will roland does also exist in the billions universe. well anyways it would be fun. the karaoke anyways, and that he'd give a top tier Performance whether or not people are first and foremost enjoying his technical / artistic skill at the art of singing, it'd at least be personality infused and engaging

taking it way back to the ideas about winston's social misadventures in general, i'm sometimes considering for fics i never end up writing if he might have some like, misgivings / anxieties about like, is this person i Like acting like they maybe Like me back as some kind of elaborate joke, & maybe the caution comes from experience like you know, classic over the line "pranks" like asked out As A Joke, kissed As A Dare that he wasn't aware of, think there could be like, would be Friendship / friendly acquaintanceship experiences in there where such "pranks" / "jokes" / "messing with him" (and not in a good way) could happen, or even just you know, more Spontaneously, don't even know this person & he's treated as a joke for other ppl's entertainment, realizing at the time or retrospectively like oh maybe i was more being bullied then having any positive social interaction / getting to feel at least "included" or what have you, like, the idea of getting to hang out with a group as The Funny Guy, but he's had these experiences getting to hang out with a group & realize it's b/c they thought he was funny / Amusing in a laughing At him, not with him way, which is easy also b/c winston isn't really out here trying to be funny that we've seen lol. only realizing he was still being excluded after some time / distance from the situation, or escalating open hostility / just more blatant meanness / over the line shit from some people, maybe some stuff that just immediately feels shitty but he figured was just like, well idk, maybe that's normal & still friendly, maybe it also felt more outright embarrassing / demeaning at the time but it's like haha yeah you got me :'] at the time just to save any face lol.....possible unexpected / spontaneous amicability in his socializing history, but also shittiness, whether it's coming at him all at once or he's kind of holding out hope like, well, i just keep at it / have a Friendly attitude here and surely i'll make friends b/c if people didn't like me At All why are they talking to me / letting me be here at all.....

always kind of pondering Fashion Variation, we haven't seen it but it could be possible, musing on "what would he think Looks Good On Him / how does he feel capable of like, dressing for romantic success or what have you lol" like, was the vivid 5x06 outfit anything, cue the drawing like, a bralette & short shorts is shaking it up and could be a Felt Cute outfit and could also be comfortable enough....not always That much room in men's(tm) fashion before you start having to be aware of [Gender] and dunno that winston out here has had the inspiration / motivation / opportunity to consider / try out / explore but hey. what are we here for

just remembered that post like "uhh i just saw a guy crying in the library & then his phone alarm went off & he stopped crying, opened his laptop & started typing / it's called time management" lmao like winston's not out here having the Most amazing time, he could have such Time Management experiences of like, letting it out some on purpose but then reining it right back in, and/or just like some spontaneous paroxysms of crying for a minute or two more unexpectedly in a "do you ever [experience a tiny inconvenience] & realize the thread by which you're hanging on is quite thin" way or otherwise, you know, oops experienced this frustration & now i'm crying over it, or idk, just feeling a bit more vulnerable for whatever reason & something has unexpectedly plucked some emotional string attached to another string attached to another & the resonance = i'm crying now ig. he can't be Thriving out here & i don't think he's all about having such a stranglehold on emotions that he's like oh tf i Never cry (aside from having sex, in a good way)

although speaking of like, emotional repression, maybe he's out here just "good at" compartmentalizing some experiences lol in that "well anyways, back to work" way & stuff like, sure he knew he was risking it in 4x11 but it also did not seem to affect his dynamic with mafee at all lmao like wow.....

think that him not really having anything on his work desk is a choice / preference but also am not sure that that really applies to anything else lmao. what if he had a little plant. that'd be funny

oh yeah and the idea that winston might literally have like prophetic dreams & they're just kind of a nuisance to him but sometimes they can be plot devices in fics (that don't exist) about him kissing people

well i'm just calling it a night there lol but like, it always feels Lacking writing out hc's like, plenty of ideas but also hardly any, and yet the fact that other individual ideas are so Vague / casual that it wouldn't be like "oh i gotta share this via post or manifesting it some other way" so then it feels like, oh no, if i don't list absolutely Everything on something that's specifically a list of hc's, i can never talk about whatever gets left out......and just that like, i ought to have a bunch of really specific, concrete, unique Factoids about winston here to be of any interest but hey lmao. that hypothetical set of concepts is never gonna happen, & the Ultimate Comprehensive List Of Everything I've Ever Pondered Re: Winston is also going to be difficult lmfao (not as though that's what you've asked in the first place) but you know, we took a swing at things here & covered some ground & the thinking about & talking about winston never ends, & this isn't really a post meant to have broad appeal / if you're not already having fun reading vague musings about the quant then i'm sorry you're reading this after having read all that and gone "wow, i'm disappointed" lmao but hey, weird choices made to bring you to this point......also god knows plenty of hcs are more filed away under specific like [Tayston], [Benston], [Riawin] sort of things (lol, [Mafon]) b/c on the one hand, i find it easier to kind of think in Scenarios and the details particular to the "scenes" therein, but i am also not good at thinking of those scenarios! out here operating on vibes, he's autistic and wants to kiss taylor (also now rian but that's kinda right in canon, not just my head) and that's really the crucial info here

[luminescentauthor]

Sora/Nao Getting Together and Relationship Headcanons!

Wow lookit me posting twice in one day!

Please read this post of HCs about their third year or this will make absolutely no sense to you! You can also read part two but it’s long and you don’t need to for this to make sense.

However, if you don’t want to read either of those, the run down is: Sora is cap, Mokichi vice; their year are all on first-name basis since around the end of second year; when people ask if any of the three boys are dating, all four of them just shrug and smile cryptically, because they got really sick of people asking; Nao briefly had a boyfriend named Nakamura but turned out he was just trying to get info on her team for his school so he cheated on her and the team rioted. Tobi and Madoka beat him up.)

This is four and a half pages of a Google Doc, so please see below the cut for the HCs!

Oh also btw this has minor Tobi/Mokichi because, hello, Tobi is living in my mind rent free and he’s not letting me evict him. (Even though I would really, really like to.)

In the middle of Sora and Nao's second year, the entire rest of the boys' team plus the girls' team made a pact not to interfere with Sora and Nao's relationship, and let them sort things out on their own, because some people were getting antsy and tempted to get involved. And they are... starting to regret that.

Tobi, especially, is starting to regret that, and he kind of wants to strangle them both because they're both so dense jfc-

Chiaki is the only one who doesn't know about the pact, since the fact that Nao likes Sora has been very carefully kept from him, and basically so is anything about Nao in general. There’s a pact on the team to make sure to keep such things from him. (Momoharu is the one responsible for this and he's not the least bit sorry. It’s saved him so much pain.)

Nao has been crushing on Sora since first year, and Sora not denying it when people ask if they're dating is NOT helping her feelings, good God.

She spends like a solid twenty minutes every day panicking and/or crying in the arms of one of her friends on the girls' team and/or Tobi.

He is arguably her closest friend on the team beyond Sora (read here for my post about why I think they’re friends), and has long since passed the point of sympathetic into "Oh my God just ask ‘im out, Jesus-" and honestly, so has pretty much everyone except Mokichi, but Mokichi has the patience of a saint.

Sora probably got over Madoka in his second year if he confessed to her (again) and she gently rejected him or if she found a boyfriend (read: Momoharu, probably. I dunno if they worked out, but if they didn’t they remained very good friends. Yes, that’s actually a thing people can do!) 

Some time passed, he was over it, and then he developed a more serious crush on Nao after a while.

And it just keeps getting worse and Sora is not thrilled with that. In fact, he's panicking, because feelings.

He's spent a grand total of at least nine hours on the phone ranting to Momoharu (because again, Nao does not get mentioned to Chiaki, so Momoharu it is!)

The entire rest of the team is suffering. First years, second years, Tobi and Mokichi, and those who have graduated. No one is spared. The girls' team has been roped in as well. More than a few people bond over sheer doneness with these two idiots.

Tobi, calling Momoharu: I wanna Die.

Momoharu: Mood, why?

Tobi: Nao ‘as the biggest crush on Sora and won’t do anythin’ about it and I'm sufferin’.

Momoharu: CHRIST, NO -- HE'S DOING THE SAME THING I’M -- WHY IS THIS MY LIFE???

Tobi: Oh my God.

Tobi: I hate them both so, so much.

Momoharu, vehemently: Mood.

Tobi and Mokichi are bearing the brunt of it, and Momoharu is also dealing with quite a lot of the bullsh*t.

Tobi, bitterly, lying on his bed while on the phone with Mokichi and Momoharu: How immoral is it to lock two of yer best friends in a broom closet or locker an’ not let ‘em out ‘til they deal with their feelins like adults?

Mokichi, tiredly: Kenji-kun, no.

Momoharu: I hate to say this because I would like to see that, and it would be very cathartic, but no because they would die in that closet before fessing up.

Tobi:

Tobi: I hate that yer prolly right.

Shigeyoshi "literal actual angel" Kaname has been dealing with ranting from both parties since second year, and he and Tobi have taken to meeting up weekly for lunch or coffee for the sole purpose of complaining about their dumbass friends, and honestly? They get a lot closer because of it.

Tobi, throwing open the door to Mokichi’s house with a bang: KANAME YA ARE NOT GOIN’ TO BELIEVE THIS SH*T-

Mokichi, exasperated, staring down at his phone with its messages from Sora: Oh, I’m pretty sure I will.

Mokichi’s sister: How do you keep getting in-

Tobi: Oh I nabbed Kaname’s key like three months back.

Mokichi: wAIT is that where that go to I thought I lost it?!

Tobi: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Tobi gets roped into Sora's group of "people to rant to" with Mokichi and Momoharu and, at this point, Chiaki as well (Sora eventually told Chiaki, and Chiaki acted all comically betrayed but things were fine) (Momoharu mostly told people not to tell Chiaki in order to annoy Chiaki in all honesty.)

Tobi: Why the f*ck did I agree ta stay at this school

Mokichi: Why did I come to this school at all

Tobi: Why did I join tha basketball team

Tobi: Why did I let Sora become my friend

Tobi: How did I let Sora become my friend?????? Like how did tha’ even happen Jesus I'm still not sure

Mokichi: Poor decisions were made?

Tobi, vehemently: Poor decisions were made.

Then Nao gets a boyfriend and literally everything goes to sh*t (please read THIS POST for the context. It’s the same one I linked at the top. Again, this will make no sense without it. Go read.)

Nao is trying to get over her feelings for Sora because despite having no reason to believe so (having not... asked him about it), she firmly believes that he doesn't return them.

Mokichi has to actually physically restrain Tobi to prevent him from strangling them both on at least two occasions. Like seriously. Tobi might have really punched Sora if he hadn't been held back by local noodle-armed beanpole.

To this day absolutely none of the underclassmen (or Nao and Sora) are sure how Mokichi did that, because third-year Tobi is 180-something centimeters of pure wiry muscle and Mokichi, despite being a two-meter tall noodle, is still a noodle, and his arms are very very noodley.

Where he found the physical strength to restrain an angry Tobi is literally a complete mystery, because Tobi is strong to begin with but when you're trying to restrain his entire person from walking where he wants to? Good luck.

(The answer is he just wraps his longass noodle arms around Tobi and clings to him and is like "kay have fun dragging me around" and Tobi is like "ಠ_ಠ Kaname ya are heavy" "yes that is the point" "f*ck ya.")

Mokichi, whispering frantically on the phone: Momoharu-san please help Kenji-kun is trying to commit murder.

Tobi, yelling in the background: YA KNOW FULL WELL THA’ I CAN HEAR YA, KANAME!

Sora cries about Nao and Tobi is very tempted to just let him sulk, but Mokichi strongarms him into coming over to a sleepover at his house with Sora and basically the three of them just form a giant cuddle pile on the couch and watch stupid movies and eat a lot of ice cream while Tobi ribs Sora over anything and everything, and Sora soon finds himself laughing instead of crying.   

Sora loves his friends so much??? He’s so glad he stuck with the basketball team????  

Momoharu is this close to just blocking Sora's number.

"Sora. Sora you are one of my closest friends, and you know I love you, but I am in class for f*ck's sake-"

Seriously Sora keeps calling him just to b*tch about how horrible Nao's boyfriend is and Momoharu might actually go crazy.

If Sora drags on Nao’s boyfriend on more time Tobi is going to throttle him, he's had enough.

Mokichi is hitting the limits of his patience too, and that's actually an accomplishment.

But Tobi won’t lie, he’s getting a bad vibe off that guy? He does seem kind of sleazy? And when he hesitantly points that out over lunch with Mokichi -- they meet up just to complain about Nao and Sora at least once a week now -- Mokichi agrees, with a pensive frown, that he also has a bad vibe.

He doesn’t know, Mokichi says. Maybe they’re just all protective of Nao. Tobi sighs and agrees. 

Tobi is fully aware of his big brother reflex by this point, but he will never, ever admit that he has such a thing out loud. 

Turns out Sora was completely right about Nao’s boyfriend, though. (Even if it was just Sora being jealous, not actually Sora being intelligent.) The guy cheats on Nao, because he's a terrible person, and Sora is this close to hunting him down and committing murder, but he doesn't know what school he goes to.

Madoka calls Tobi to give him the guy's location, and Tobi goes, "please don' tell Sora tha's a bad idea" and Madoka goes "do you think I'm insane??"

Tobi and Madoka then absolutely thrash the guy and then get coffee afterwards and bond over oh my god, our friends are so dumb, because Madoka has been putting up with Nao's rants since first year.

Eventually Sora and the rest of the team convince (the very easily convinced) Tobi to give up the idiot's location and they all take a trip to beat the crap out of him.

Madoka then joins the I Have Pining Idiot Friends support group, which consists of Tobi, Mokichi, and Momoharu.

It's actually Madoka who finally decides to break the "no interfering" pact, after hearing about the sheer extent of the bullsh*t that's been happening, the parts that Nao didn't mention to her. She calls Sora and very tiredly goes "please just ask Nao-chan out, everyone is suffering."

Sora: wHAT

Tobi, eavesdropping as they're all changing: She told ya to ask Nao out

Tobi: Or I'm goin’ to deck ya I stg -- my patience is a very much finite resource, Sora.

Mokichi, tiredly: Please don't kill our captain

Tobi, ignoring him: Sora I am dead serious. Ask her out, or I will break yer nose, consequences be damned.

Tobi is So Relieved that the pact is over. He knew he'd catch grief for it if he broke it, and the second Madoka does, his reaction is "TIME TO PHYSICALLY THREATEN SORA INTO CONFESSING! YAY!"

Tobi, no.

Madoka is wheezing somewhere in the background but is also in full support of this movement.

After a large number of threats, Sora, bright red, stutters through asking Nao out to the amusement park or something, and Nao, also bright red, screams "WHAT" and Sora goes "Uh -- God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-" and goes to run.

And smacks directly into Mokichi who's like, "Uh, no, you're going nowhere. I am so done."

Tobi, internally: Oh thank God fer Kaname.

Nao, still a tomato, manages to squeak out "I'd love to!"

After Sora and Nao get through the "Really?!" "Really!" part, Tobi dramatically falls to his knees and yells "THANK F*CKING GOD, FINALLY," which, fair.

(And as Sora and Nao are stuttering through a semi-normal conversation after that, maybe Mokichi is in the background, shyly asking Tobi out for coffee without the excuse of talking about Sora and Nao, because maybe their relationship went from "I don't want people to think we're friends" to "I guess you're decent" to "we're friends" to something unnamed and fragile and delicate and maybe a little bit precious. And maybe when Tobi leans against his shoulder and Mokichi wraps an arm around his waist at practice, no one is surprised.)

It's on their third date, in a park after going to a cafe, when Nao abruptly asks, "Sora-kun, can I kiss you?"

Sora short circuits (again.) And Nao freezes up and goes, "Sorry, sorry, too soon, I'm so sorry-" and Sora freaks out and goes, "NO, NO IT'S FINE, I was just -- just surprised!"

They both calm down and take deep breaths, and then Sora steps closer and gently cups the back of her head as her eyes go wide and he asks, "is this okay?" She nods and nervously places one hand around his neck. They lean into each other and kiss softly, and it feels right.

They’re both bright red but they’re both smiling like idiots, and Sora holds her close and thinks, “Godd*mn I got lucky.” He whispers that to her, and she laughs, flustered, and says “Yeah, I did too.”

After six weeks or so of going out, Nao and Sora make it a "boyfriend/girlfriend" thing and now if Mokichi or Tobi are asked if they're dating Nao, they say that she's dating Sora; Nao blushes and shyly corrects the person if they asked about Mokichi/Tobi, or shyly confirms if it was about Sora; Sora just smiles, and confirms that he's dating Nao, blushing.

Mokichi invites Momoharu, Madoka, and Chiaki to lunch with the third years when they have a day off from practice for the sole purpose of giving Nao and Sora a hard time about their mutual pining

Tobi swears up and down that he's going to read out the most embarrassing speech at their wedding and expose them to everyone there, and Nao and Sora both turn bright red and short circuit for a solid five minutes at the mention of marriage while the others laugh at them.

At the end of the year, Nao and Sora receive a trophy from their kouhai that says "Most Disastrous Couple Ever." Tobi and Mokichi didn't stop laughing for a solid twenty minutes, and Tobi is still giving them sh*t about the trophy five years later.

They both attend university and maintain their relationship throughout. Sora proposes when they’re both 29, at the same park where they had their first kiss, on the anniversary of the day they met, because he’s sappy AF. Tobi is rolling his eyes somewhere in the background. 

It’s a warm summer night. They get dinner at an expensive formal restaurant. He takes her to the park, and reminisces about the first time they went there together. It was the day Nao joined the team, he recalls. She had left after the practice game, and he had followed her. He had been so impressed by her, he tells her, and he still is. He doesn’t know how he came to deserve her, and she blushes and says she feels the same about him, that he’s just as amazing.

Sora covers her eyes and leads her to a ring of trees in the middle of the park, and uncovers them to reveal that they’re standing in a gazebo covered in flowers and fairy lights. And he smiles at her, and gets down on one knee. Nao’s hands fly to her mouth as he says, “I have been in love with you for well over ten years, and I would like to call you my family officially. Nanao Nao, my light, the love of my life, my everything, will you marry me?”

“Of course I will, you big sap!” she cries, tackling him, tears in her eyes, and kisses him. Neither of them care that they’re getting dirt on their suit and dress; the only thing that matters to either of them is each other. 

They get married roughly a year after. Madoka is Nao’s maid of honor. Sora’s best man is probably Momoharu, Tobi, or Mokichi. Maybe Chiaki? I don’t know. 

I almost want to make it Momoharu just because he would first completely drag Sora and Nao for their bullsh*t back in high school, grinning, and then invite Tobi up on stage to polish it off. Tobi, on the other hand, would just roast them on his own, which is probably why Sora decides not to make Tobi his best man. (“I trusted you, Momoharu-kun!” “Well that’s on you, Sora.”)

(And if Tobi catches the bouquet and gives it to Mokichi, no one’s saying anything.)

(They will, however, be saying things when Tobi gets down on one knee in the center of the dance floor an hour into the reception and says, “Given that our relationship was formed by bondin’ over these two idiots takin’ two and a half years ta get together, it only seems right that we tie tha knot because they did too. Kaname, will ya marry me?” Mokichi cries and says yes. Nao and Sora also cry. Yes, Tobi got their permission to steal their thunder beforehand. He was sorely tempted not to, just to get back at them, because yes he’s still salty about high school, but he figured he’d better ask.)

When they’re about 38, they adopt a daughter! And yes the others are her aunts and uncles.

Her name is Akari, which means light, and she is a problem child, but she's definitely not Tobi/Hanazono twins levels of problem child, and they love her anyway.

Her name is Nanao-Kurumatani Akari, because screw gender norms, says Sora. Nao’s reaction is “oh my God I love you so much.”

She was about 5 when they adopted her.

Her favorite uncle/aunt is Mokichi (absolutely no one understands why including Mokichi himself) and yes Tobi is mad.

Also Tobi adores her. Tobi sees a small child? Are you kidding me, have you seen him with his sister? Tobi seems like he'd be with horrible with kids but he loves the little sh*ts.

She plays basketball as a PF and she is so tall and yes, Sora is salty.

Scoring machine and inside player, but also learned strategy from Nao (after a terrible loss, she asked her mother to teacher her) and.... fear.jpg.

Basically, Sora and Nao are the most tooth-rotting-ly sweet, romantic, cliché in the best way, sappy, and adorable couple ever, and it’s bad for everyone’s dentist bills.

Here’s a Sora/Tobi edition (I apologize to SoraNao shippers because it’s twice as long and I didn’t even realize that for ages), because again, I have Tobi brainrot. God help me.

You can also check out my Ahiru no Sora Headcanons tag.

[intrulogical]

some ideas for the orange dark side and logan--

okay, so i’ve put a lot of thought into this, and i am almost certain that the orange side is procrastination. orange is the color often compared to laziness and it makes sense that the dark side that is a counterpart to logan would be the bane of his entire existence.

(more under the cut bc its just me rambling about my ideas, tw: mentions of toxic relationships, breakdowns, procrastination, crying, basically logan is sad)

in my opinion, logan repressing emotions has a much deeper meaning that it actually does. everything logan has done has been done for a reason. he says facts-- that keeps deceit away. he says “figuratively��� and avoids idioms at times-- that keeps remus away. since repressing his emotions is a running concept throughout the show, there has to be a deeper reason to why he commits to that even if at times, he acknowledges subtle emotions. he, out of everyone, must know how valid emotions are, and how normal it is for him to feel them.

logan is smart. he won’t do anything that’ll hurt himself... unless is helps thomas. the typical idea is that logan emoting too much would ruin his purpose, but honestly? logan is smarter than that. logan wouldn’t just throw himself away for that idea alone. what i think is that repressing his emotions keeps a certain dark side away. 

it would make sense that logan would do all this to keep a dark side away. for one, he doesn’t repress his emotions all the time-- he does express emotions sometimes with no hesitance. sometimes, he’d hold back, looking regretful over something, and i think it’s because he’s scared of the dark side, but he doesn’t want to make thomas aware of this dark side existing.

now, with the dark side procrastination being the counterpart of logan. while roman could embody thomas’ ambitions mostly, logan embodies the hard work thomas gives. so, if logan runs out of energy, or is shown to be vulnerable, there is a good chance for procrastination to appear. this is why he is so defensive when thomas claims he lost motivation for something, because he’s scared of procrastination to pop up out of nowhere. this is why logan represses emotions; he doesn’t want to be vulnerable. if he’s strong enough for thomas, he’ll be able to keep procrastination away, 

i like to think there’d be two ways procrastination could appear.

first way includes the typical pestering dark side who thomas and the others have to deal with. logan would reach a breaking point and sinks out which summons procrastination in his room. 

BUT, to spice this up a bit, have this funky idea considered: logan could both embody procrastination and logic. remember, if logan runs out of energy, procrastination occurs, and instead of summoning him, logan could become him. the dark side wallpaper showcases different symbols of the dark sides, and in my opinion, the graduation cap on it could give a hint on who the dark side is. procrastination, though while it does slow down your academic performance, would never be connected to a graduation cap... unless he shares a body with logan.

in my opinion, this situation could be like a reverse king situation. while roman and remus unfused, i feel like logan purposely fused with procrastination, thinking he’d be able to keep control of the dark side. it doesn’t show much while logan is still himself, but when logan is vulnerable and more exhausted, procrastination could jump out. and mind you, procrastination could be trapped their for god knows how long, so he comes back with a vengeance. he plans to stay. 

the episode could go like this-- it’s obvious logan isn’t doing well. he has a break down, glitches, and suddenly, a new side is on his spot. he was orange, he looked unpracticed, and he was cracking his knuckles and neck as if he had just woken up from a year of not being able to move. the conversation between the sides speaks of whether logan keeping him in was a good or bad idea, and truly, none of then know the true answer. without logic, it was hard to argue on what was right or wrong, but at the end, thomas is the one who is able to separate both sides, and he decides it’d be better for both sides to be separated. logan comes back, looking tired next to procrastination, and procrastination shoots him a glare before sinking out. 

it’s awkward now, logan feeling like an absolute failure, for his ideas for thomas were all unsuccessful. he sinks out to his room, and here is when the sides have a chat with logan in the hopes that it’ll comfort him. they love him for who he is-- he doesn’t need to work himself to death for thomas to function well. they just want logan to rest, more than anything. (and maybe, this could also talk about toxic relationships because logic/procrastination is like a whole steven universe malachite thing?)

and yea, that’s about it-- it’s not really a theory, it’s just an idea i like, and if you have any other ideas on it, feel free to add on to this!

[veliseraptor]

the endgame reaction post

I know you’ve all been waiting for it. It’s 3:30 am right now so this may not be totally coherent and I’m almost certainly going to forget things, but here goes.

HERE BE SPOILERS. LIKE, PLENTY O SPOILERS.

I went into this movie with one main question and that was “is Marvel going to stick the landing on what they did in Infinity War?” my answer?

sort of. I...didn’t dislike it? I liked parts of it a lot. but mostly my reaction, frustratingly enough, is kind of a “shrug, with a few ‘into it’ and a handful of ‘oh no thanks.’ I cried a couple different times but overall my emotional response is very...muted. 

this could be a function of my being depressed right now, but I also think it’s because this movie...just didn’t hit the right notes, for me. it did a lot of things right, technically, and it had a lot of character moments, but it felt...I don’t know, something indefinable was missing for me. 

I’m going to try to unpack that later, but let’s break things down a little.

the good

NEBULA, oh my god, Nebula in this movie was fantastic. her moments with her younger self (I’m always going to be here for older/younger self confrontations with characters with her specific brand of issues) especially, but also...in general, I felt like this movie did very well by her. and ohhhh god “you can change” “he won’t let me” my feelings. 

i’m gay for Carol’s new hair and that’s that.

WAS THAT A FUCKING FLYING HORSE? WHERE DID VAL GET A FLYING HORSE. IS THERE A FLYING HORSE FARM IN NEW ASGARD

Thor and Frigga’s conversation. I...did not like almost anything else having to do with Thor in this movie (more on that later, and I know everyone and their mother has already written about this), but that conversation was...so lovely, and I’m glad Frigga got that after her fridging in The Dark World, and the “I was raised by witches” line obscurely delighted me.

this is the SECOND time we’ve seen Loki transforming into Steve onscreen and I’m just saying that Loki being obsessed with Steve? #confirmed

also, Loki taking advantage of chaos to bolt with the Tesseract is golden and while it is seriously unclear what happened to the timelines altered by intervention (more on this later too) I’m going to assume that this means there is at least one Loki out there having the time of his goddamn life

more on this later, but there were some great Natasha moments in this movie as far as character work, and I am still very into her “five years later” hair. also lots of good Clint and Natasha stuff like we haven’t seen since the first Avengers movie, so that was nice. (the arrow necklace!!)

while I have caveats about it, the ending they gave Steve was pretty much what I was expecting and the best I could hope for, so I think that’s a solid “good”

I have absolutely no caveats about Steve giving Sam the shield, and everything about that scene passing it on was delightful, and Steve and Peggy dancing made me cry, so there’s that. 

STEVE’S WORTHY CAUSE OF COURSE HE IS

the whole concept of a time heist is super neat.

SO WE ALL SAW THAT A-FORCE TEAM SHOT, RIGHT? THAT’S SETTING US UP FOR AN A-FORCE TEAM, RIGHT?

wanda fucking wrecking thanos yes girl

the bad

the big obvious one first: the stuff with Thor. as a whole bunch of people have explained: it’s not the weight gain, it’s how his character change after the five year jump is treated. it’s the fact that roughly 75% of the character beats for him in this movie are weighted for humor, that even the emotional moment with Frigga is undermined by the “eat a salad” line, that while he gets moments with his grief they tend to be undercut for a laugh. 

also the fact that he...doesn’t get anything back? I mean, while it’s true of Bruce to a certain extent, and obviously Natasha, Thor really doesn’t have any of his losses ameliorated. Tony gets Peter back, Steve gets his life with Peggy, and Thor...? I just...it feels like his character arc in this movie wasn’t, and I’m severely uncomfortable with how much of a fatphobic undercurrent (overcurrent?) it felt like there was in his scenes.

and while I love the idea of Queen Valkyrie, it doesn’t really feel earned, and feels like it shackles her to a role where she doesn’t really fit.

the final battle felt...tacked on. it felt like there was a feeling that “oh, we need an epic battle where there’s a whole army on both sides” and I...didn’t need that? it felt like a Lord of the Rings battle in my superhero movie and something about it felt very...mmm weird. I mean, I’m almost never one for Big Final Battles With Armies (with the major exception of the ones in Lord of the Rings) and it didn’t work for me here. 

though I did enjoy “keep away with the Infinity Gauntlet”, that was a fun game.

Gamora and Nebula should have been given the chance to face Thanos again together at the very least, and preferably strike the killing blow. The fact that that was given to Tony...annoys me. I mean, I can see why they did it - they needed him to have a big hero moment for his big hero sacrifice, and it was emotionally effective (I assume, if you weren’t me), but...that victory should have belonged more principally to those two, and I’m disappointed that it didn’t.

so I guess all that “foreshadowing” in Loki’s death scene was...nothing? that was just...what it looked like? I mean okay I’m not surprised but I am disappointed

the ugly

SOMEONE DATE THOSE CARS IN THE END SCENE WITH STEVE AND PEGGY, HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK, so, like, is that an alternate timeline? did Steve live a seriously down low undercover life with Peggy and that’s why it never came up that oh yeah, she was married to someone who looked exactly like Steve Rogers? how does this fit in with the Winter Soldier!Peggy? I DON’T UNDERSTAND.

basically this movie did the time travel stuff but didn’t really think all of the time travel stuff through as much as it needed to, imo. time travel plots are hard, and messy, and very quickly get confusing, and this was definitely one where they were doing some “don’t look too close!” prestidigitation to keep the holes from showing.

but I’m thinking about it and the holes are showing and I want to know how this works, are the Disney+ shows going to be alternate timelines? I assume because Vision’s going to be in one? and if Sam’s still Falcon then he’s probably not Cap in that one? BUT I DON’T KNOW it’s all very confusing.

Natasha...Natasha. I was spoiled for her dying, though I didn’t know the circumstances, and I...gah. I wrote in my notes on my phone “I wanted Clintasha BUT NOT LIKE THAT” and that’s...kind of how I feel about it? I honestly thought she was safe, is the thing. of all the characters I was worried about, she wasn’t one of them. but in retrospect...I really should’ve been. if they’re trying to shuffle the original six out of the line up then...but I felt like “surely they won’t kill their only original female Avenger, surely the optics of that...” but no, nope.

and while she wasn’t fridged per se it did feel like a lot of the energy of her death went toward providing five male characters with angst, which... [squints]

...and now I’m thinking more and if it’s been five years then all of Peter’s friends should have graduated high school. or were they not going to high school? was school suspended for five years because of the apocalypse? are we going to get fallout from this in Far From Home? 

I’M TELLING YOU THERE IS SO MUCH HERE THAT JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE maybe it will moving forward but...I really don’t get how they’re going to sustain this five year jump forward timeline...

GUESS WE’LL FIND OUT

basically I think what I’m coming out of this movie with is “end of an era and that makes me emotional, also there is some stuff here I like but mostly....eh” and honestly I think I’m okay with that being where I land. 

I said last year that I was going to hold off on my final verdict for Infinity War until I saw Endgame, because it seemed like they were, whatever they’d said, setting up a two movie arc. I thought there was some possibility that what they did in this movie might “save” Infinity War for me, or make me think it was worth it. 

part of the reason I don’t feel like I can say Marvel did really stick the landing here is because it didn’t. they stuck a landing. they had, like I said, a lot of the pieces in the right place. 

but I’m still feeling vaguely dissatisfied. 

[sincerelybillie]

this isn’t a monologue

I had asked for a getaway when I arrived at the cabin. My old roommate worked in the city and was too much of a workaholic to reap the benefits of having a place in the woods to escape the sirens and expectations of the metropolis by at least 45 miles. I needed to see what stars looked like, what my own thoughts sounded like.

On the inside, the cabin looked like the set of a 90’s sitcom set in the suburbs. Small, blocky television in the living room, with hardly any matching furniture or drapery. I sighed. I loved it.

Around 11pm, I could tell my body hadn’t gotten tired yet because perhaps being here made me feel more energized and willing to actually stay up late without the reason being that I was going to catch up on work or wrap up a dissatisfying date.

I felt like baking a cake, doing yoga, and starting a screenplay with this newfound solitude and the energy it provided me with. But my options were limited and it had gotten cold out, so I opted for mindlessly bingeing on whatever was on TV, a classic activity of suburban folk.

When I tell you that about halfway through a rerun of a forgettable show, the TV set burst into flames, I am saying that randomly, the TV caught fire and the screen made a popping noise as the flames began engulfing the stand and moving towards me. I panicked, shuffling out of the blanket and flapping it over the flames and throwing it over the fire while I searched for a fire extinguisher. I couldn’t find it, and when I went back to see how bad the situation was getting, I saw that the fire was out. Completely gone. I lifted the blanket, and the TV, stand and all, was there, perfectly fine.

I rubbed my eyes, feeling delusional. Maybe the late nights were catching up with me, but that felt too real. I stepped outside onto the deck to process what I had just apparently hallucinated, and when I did, I was met with bright sunshine and saw the frosty breath escape my mouth as I gasped.

“Billie!” called Lora, dressed for a brisk winter hike or something. She waved at me, and I saw she was with some of our mutual friends. “Why are you still in your pajamas?” she asked, sounding disappointed and like she had been waiting for me.

I had walked up to them, mostly to see if they were real, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. I turned around to see Isaac step out of the now snow covered cabin behind me, holding a cup of coffee. He was also in his pajamas. I turned back to Lora who smirked, knowingly.

“Oh, I see.”

I still couldn’t say anything, but I could put together that Isaac and I had apparently slept together. There were a lot of things wrong and disorienting about this situation already, the latest one being that Isaac and I hadn’t spoken in almost three years, since I moved without ever telling him. I had never planned to see him for more than casual chit-chat and sometimes sex. It became clearer to me later that he had felt like a heads up that I was moving to another state would’ve been worth mentioning.

It seemed complicated and honestly out of character for me to be briefly back in town, having moved back to the state and living in a different city, and hook up with him. I would have been seeing someone in my new city, if anyone. I didn’t even have Isaac’s number anymore or any social media connects had this been a booty call. But does that mean I had invited him to the cabin? Lora hadn’t known him, so how else could he have ended up standing on the deck? He looked so content. I felt both pre-guilt and post-guilt for wanting to ice him out again. I wasn’t for this.

Lora was talking with the others, so while she was occupied, I rushed back to the cabin to avoid getting cold and confront Isaac. But I still couldn’t find the words. That didn’t stop the look of disappointment from once again befalling his face. I recognized it because it’s the same face he made when I didn’t kiss him on our first date.

Going to that restaurant has been so awkward for me ever since because my first time was with him, and I could tell he was convinced that promising summer night was going to end with sex. But now, we were here, in the dead of winter, and something had ended or started with sex, I couldn’t tell. Maybe he could actually see my desire to leave this time. And because I was unable to speak, the pity party seemed futile so I changed frequently and rushed outside to get help or some semblance of sanity from Lora. Why couldn’t I speak?

But Lora was gone. Everyone was. I was in my high school graduation outfit now and running late because Rocky (who I only knew from elementary because we didn’t go to the same schools after 5th grade) grabbed me and rushed me to an auditorium of a school I only recognized as one I did a service project in years ago, not one I attended as a student.

“Come on!” she said, and a musical number kicked off. Everyone in the room rushed in circles around the aisles and perimeter of the seats, while others sang onstage. The whole spectacle was chaotic and loud and overwhelming. But I couldn’t bring myself to separate from it or yell in protest or confusion. As we were about to finally take our seats as the song neared its end, I felt myself getting lifted and held in the air, but I didn’t know who was doing it.

When I was placed back down, a hand remained on my back and guided me to my seat. I had lost my graduation cap and was sitting in a disheveled gown, feeling awkward about how exposed my legs were and the fact that I was running, dancing, and being lifted in a dress. Rocky sat smiling next to me, as if this was all normal, and I noticed the person seated on her other side was Hewitt.

I had the most inconveniently long-lasting crush on Hewitt for half of elementary school and well into middle school, and it was so terrible because I guess from even a young age, I self sabotaged my love prospects by being mean or aloof to guys I liked. He had told me I was one of his best friends because I had befriended him first as the new kid and we would always make art together on Fun Fridays. That began to change as girls and guys became more separate within their social groups between ages 10 and 12. He started making fun of the way I looked and throwing dodgeballs at me, even if I wasn’t playing in the game with the others. And then one day he had the audacity to outright ask if I liked him, and I was confused because at one point, I really did and he was my favourite person to see at school. The confrontation threw me off, so I told him, “No, you’re stupid and annoying.” We had faded entirely as friends by then, but made constant eye contact in the halls and sometimes ran into each other outside of school as we got older. It always felt like he was taunting me to admit I had lied.

He didn’t go to my high school, either, so I was wondering why he was at this graduation. I was wondering why I was, too, but that thought got pushed aside by the sight of his face again. He looked at me and seemed kind of tired and sad. Something about the moment we shared, gazing at each other with Rocky blissfully unaware in between, reminded me of Isaac. My friends were usually over-optimistic about my status with the latest guy I was seeing or developed a crush on, and some of the guys themselves were never given the truth or reciprocated feelings. It had always seemed easier and safer for me emotionally to seem like the one who had invested less.

Rocky and I exited the auditorium before I remember ever walking the stage or seeing the caps get thrown in the air or any of the program events one would expect with a commencement ceremony. We walked towards a shopping center and she asked me if I was interested in seeing some high-end clothing and gourmet soaps and food. I didn’t vocally say anything, but she nodded affirmatively, and then we walked into an Asian grocery store/artisan market. I’m not sure what it was, but I spent some wandering the aisles and admiring the foreign packaging. I picked up something, debated shoplifting it, and saw Rocky in another aisle, likely contemplating the same. She looked up, spotting me, and smirked, knowingly.

I felt myself wanting to ask her questions, like if she knew what was going on, but as we exited, she said she had to get back to campus. But it wasn’t the high school campus. She walked towards what resembled the music building at Las Positas College, where I had studied for two years before moving/taking a couple gap years. I don’t remember Rocky ever having attended, though.

She left, and for the first time since the TV catching fire, I was alone.

[sineala]

Hey! Warning: I don't know a lot about marvel comics ( i'm trying to remedy that). Why is the newest IM run met with bitterness/dismay by fandom? Is it because of the writer?

Ha. Ha. Um. Okay. It’s salt night tonight, I guess. You know, I was writing fic, but, sure, it can be salt night. Let me just put this under a Read More. 

Honestly, I haven’t read a whole lot of Slott’s work. I know he’s written Spider-Man for what feels like an entire century and I feel like the Spidey fans I know don’t reflexively curse his name? So maybe that’s encouraging. He did, however, write the Great Lakes Avengers miniseries, which is the worst comic I think I have ever spent money on. It was just non-stop bulimia jokes. Our senses of humor clearly do not align. So based on that I am not feeling especially great, but that’s just a me thing.

But more generally – the thing about being a certain kind of comics fan who likes Tony Stark is that it is really, really hard to find comics these days about the Tony Stark that you like. A prevailing opinion in fandom, and one that I mostly share  (with the proviso that I really liked IM: Fatal Frontier, which was relatively recent), is that there hasn’t been a good Iron Man run since Iron Man: Director of SHIELD. That’s Iron Man, volume 4. That ended TEN YEARS AGO.

So you might now think to yourself, “Hey, the MCU started ten years ago! I wonder if that’s significant!” And the answer is, yes, yes, it really is. Because what they’ve done since then is consciously try to pull Tony’s characterization toward the MCU. And I can’t blame Marvel for wanting to do this, because MCU is where the money is and we all know that RDJ as Tony is amazing and he brought a whole new life to the character. But the thing is, for me, he’s playing his own Tony Stark. RDJ’s Tony Stark. Who is great but is not, in many important ways, the character I adore in the comics. But that’s what they’re making him into. They’ve upped the witty quips significantly, they’ve added or retconned large chunks of his background (the RT akin to the arc reactor, the fact that he is maybe now not a college graduate), they’ve taken away a lot of the whole Good Businessman thing that’s been there, they’ve taken away most of his friends, they added in a relationship with Pepper that I don’t even want to talk about, and so on. And they’re explicit that this is what they’re doing. In recent IM editorial columns, they talked about their admiration for RDJ’s portrayal and their desire to bring that to the comics.

And the thing about Tony having been catapulted into prominence by the MCU is that suddenly he’s big now, and he was never big before. He didn’t have a lot of fans, and that includes among the writing staff. The people who are well-known in fandom for having done good IM runs – Layton & Michelinie, O’Neil, Busiek, the Knaufs – are generally not (Busiek excepted, I guess) the absolute superstars of comics writing, as I understand it (although I may be wrong; I am not very widely-read); they liked Tony, as far as I know, and they wrote what they liked because they liked the character, so we got good runs from people who genuinely enjoyed writing Tony. But now that Tony is popular, Marvel wants to put their A-list writers on the book, and it seems like for the most part these big-name writers are not actually that happy about writing Tony. It’s not like Steve, where you can find people who imprinted on Gruenwald’s Cap run or what have you and are overjoyed to write Cap because they get Cap and they understand Cap and it would be an honor. I feel like with IM these days you’re really lucky if they’ve ever done the reading.

Since the start of the MCU there have been four IM runs: Fraction, Gillen, Taylor, and Bendis. I am honestly not sure I know anyone who was already a Tony fan who likes Fraction’s run; I finally dragged myself through it a couple months ago and the most charitable thing I can say is that it is an interesting comic (with more non-consensual humiliation than I personally prefer) about someone who happens to be named Tony Stark who is definitely not the guy I know from the comics I love. I haven’t read most of Gillen’s run and I don’t know a lot of people who have, so I think you can tell how well that was received in fandom. Tom Taylor, though, seemed like a guy who was genuinely excited to be writing Iron Man and you could tell that he had done the reading because he was name-dropping wacky 70s issues that I had a lot of fun finding and reading (like the one where Tony goes to SDCC) – but unfortunately the run Marvel put him on was Superior Iron Man. If you read interviews with him he sounds like he would have definitely preferred to be writing non-evil Tony. And then there’s Bendis. I’m not really sure what happened there. I had such high hopes. I feel like he used to be good at writing Tony, and certainly he gave us a bunch of great Tony without which Steve/Tony would not exist (see: The Confession), and I feel like if he’d been the one writing IM ten years ago it could have been spectacular. But I also feel like when the majority of his run features Riri Williams and Victor von Doom and no Tony anywhere, this guy maybe does not want to write Tony anymore. I think that wanting an Iron Man comic to contain Tony Stark is a reasonable minimum standard. (Note that he doesn’t have to be Iron Man to make me happy -- one of my absolute favorite runs has Rhodey as Iron Man -- but I think that an IM comic where Tony is alive and present shouldn’t be too much to ask for.)

So I feel like, given that Dan Slott is in interviews already talking about how his pitch for the new IM was “Okay, it’s Robert Downey Jr. starring sometimes in Black Mirror and sometimes in Rick and Morty,” that this is already not going to be the Tony I want to read about because my ideal IM run is probably not going to come from the pen of someone who is already saying that they’re going to write 616 Tony as RDJ. I mean, MCU is great! But if I want to see MCU Tony, I can watch the movies! I want to read about 616 Tony, who is not the same as the guy in the movies! I want a run like that, and I’m clearly not getting it.

On the plus side, the art is by Valerio Schiti, so whatever the writing is like, the art’s gonna be fuckin’ pretty. I guess we will have that to console ourselves with.

[fangirlingtodeath513]

memories can hurt or heal

rated teen and up, 1.6k

read here on ao3

if you want to be added to the tag list, send me an ask off anon! based on this prompt

Today is definitely one of those classic fall days. It’s dark and rainy and just this side of cold. Of course it’s a Saturday, so Dean doesn’t even have work to distract him. His mind inevitably wanders to Cas, and then to the box of memories he still hasn’t unpacked that’s currently sitting on the top shelf of his closet. He’d moved into this three-bedroom house months ago. Everything had been unpacked within a week of moving in, but the one box that sat on the top shelf of his closet has been left untouched since he’d put it there three days after moving in. Because, truth be told, some of the memories in there are pretty bittersweet. Days like today, though… they’re the days he gets the itch under his skin to drag the box down from the closet and reminisce. He knows there’s a ton of pictures of them, and a few things from various dates and milestones in their relationship. Most of the time he’s able to brush the thought away easily, but there’s just something about today. He waffles with the thought for a while; he makes himself some breakfast, catches up on the news on his phone, and takes a long, hot bath.

He’s staring into his closet trying to decide what to wear when his eyes wander to the box on his top shelf. He ends up pulling on one of his softer Henleys and a pair of worn sweatpants before pulling the box down and setting it on the hardwood floor. He takes a seat in front of it, smiling softly to himself as he pulls the lid off and sets it aside. Right on top is the picture of him and Cas from graduation. Dean’s mother had taken it just after the ceremony, as evidenced by the fact that their tassels are on the left. It’s one of his favorite pictures of them. The day itself had been insanely stressful, but having Cas right there with him, and both of their families there to celebrate their graduation had been amazing. He brushes a thumb over the picture before picking it up and setting it on the lid gently. Next on the pile are their tickets from the Kaleo concert they’d taken a road trip to shortly after graduation. They’d gone back to Kansas with their families and driven all the way to LA for the concert. The road trip itself was probably more fun than the concert, if he’s being honest with himself, and he can’t wait to find the polaroids from the car trip. With the tickets set aside, he digs his cap and gown out to get them out of the way. He sees the corner of one of the car trip polaroids on the very bottom on the box, but he forces himself to go through the rest and end on some of the best memories. The assortment of Broadway playbills is next. Cas had gone through a phase in high school where he was super into Broadway shows and Dean, being the excellent best friend he was, had accompanied him to thirteen over the course of their four years in high school. He smiles to himself as he flips through them, remembering the shows fondly before setting the playbills aside. Next up is the stack of photos spanning high school and college. It’s not a huge amount, since most of the photos are stored on his laptop, but it’s pretty sizable. The top of the stack are pictures from their college commencement ball. Not that he’s ever had a problem admitting it, but damn does Cas look good in a tux. He flips through the pictures slowly, letting his memories of the night be tugged to the surface. He’s still in contact with most of his college friends, but it’s been a while since they’ve gotten together… He makes a mental note to give Charlie a call later before flipping to the next picture. This one’s him and Cas at the homecoming football game their senior year. He’s got blue and gold paint on his cheeks, and Cas has one of the school jerseys on. In the picture, Dean’s forehead is against Cas’s cheek, and both of them are sporting matching grins. He stares at the picture for a moment before setting it on the other side of him, away from the rest of the photos with the intent to put it somewhere visible. The next few pictures are ones taken throughout college. They’re mostly him and Cas, with a few of their mutual friends scattered throughout. He’s always got this look when he’s staring at Cas in pictures. Charlie called it his “heart eyes stare” all throughout college, Castiel had gotten a kick out of that. The next set of pictures are ones from their senior prom in high school. They’ve got ties matching their eye color, green for Dean and blue for Cas, and matching boutonnieres, a small red tulip for each of them. Neither of their parents had been surprised when he’d asked Cas to prom. His mother said she’d been waiting a long time to see who’d make the first move, and Cas’s father had agreed. Even Dean’s dad, who he was sure would be angry about his son being attracted to men was okay with it. He and Cas, though? Neither of them had any idea that the other had similar feelings until Dean had made the first move a few months before their high school graduation. Though, in hindsight, the signs were all there. The next pictures are ones from high school. Cas in the stands cheering during Dean’s soccer games, and Dean in the stands cheering during Cas’s baseball games. A few of them at various school events, and even a few of the time Dean and Cas had manned the kissing booth at the cheerleading fundraiser. He shakes his head at the memory, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He reaches the last picture, one of them on their first day of high school. He shakes his head at the oversized sweater Cas has on, smiling fondly. He sets the final picture aside, pulling a photo album from the box and setting it aside to look at later. He grabs an assortment of tickets, ones from all their high school games, setting them aside before grabbing the stack of polariods from the bottom of the box. These are probably his fondest memories of his and Cas’s relationship, if he’s being honest with himself. At the same time, they’re also the worst. Cas had gotten the tickets for them as a graduation present. The concert was a week and a half after graduation, so they’d agreed to take a long road trip through the western US, stopping at a few different landmarks before ending up at their hotel in LA a couple days before the concert. The car trip had been great, the concert had been incredible, but that night at the hotel? Probably one of the worst nights of his life. He flips through the polariods slowly, sighing heavily. Cas had gotten a job in New York City, and he’d chosen to tell Dean when they got back to their hotel at midnight. Dean had already secured a job in Lebanon, the same place he’d interned with the summer before senior year. Castiel had left the following week, and Dean had been fuming. They’d nearly had a screaming match in the middle of the airport just before Cas caught his plane. The sound of footsteps behind him tugs him out of the spiral of bad memories. “You’re back from your run early.” he says softly, smiling and grabbing the photo album he’d set aside. There’s a low, gravelly chuckle behind him. “I am. Reminiscing, are you?” He hums and nods, turning to glance at the man behind him. “Yep. It’s the only box we haven’t unpacked.” Cas smiles and steps closer, motioning for Dean to move over. Dean wrinkles his nose but complies, shifting over and resting the photo album on both their laps once Cas sits. Castiel cocks an eyebrow at him, smiling. “Our wedding album?” Dean smiles, bumping his shoulder against his husband’s and flipping through the pages. Castiel shifts after a few pages, his head dropping to rest on Dean’s shoulder. “I’m still mad at you for not telling me earlier.” Dean murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of Cas’s head. Castiel chuckles, resting his hand on Dean’s thigh. The silver band on his left hand sparkles in the early morning sunlight, and Dean can’t help but be ridiculously proud that the man sitting next to him is his husband. He closes the photo album, setting it aside and wrapping an arm around Cas’s waist. “I’m glad we got through it. I hated fighting with you like that.” Castiel hums, pressing a chaste kiss to Dean’s lips. “I did as well, though you were incredibly hot when you were mad like that.” Cas has the audacity to smirk at him, and Dean finds himself shaking his head with a grin on his face. “Yeah, well, you’re hot all the time.” Castiel chuckles, a soft sound that warms Dean from the inside. “Well, since I’m back early, why don’t we both get a little exercise in and then grab a shower?” Cas’s eyes flick to the bed and barely a second passes before Dean’s on his feet, tugging Castiel to the bed. They may have had their ups and downs, but Dean’s glad for every single one of them.

tags: @gabesgoldwings @agentzreads

[pixiealtaira]

Dragged Kicking and Screaming  ( 12/ 22)

Title: Dragged Kicking and Screaming  

Or How Burt Hummel Mashed the Hummels and Hudsons Into One Functioning Family.

Characters(s): Kurt, Burt, Carole, Finn, with short appearances by the New Directions guys and various ops who mostly take up space. Rating: PG13     Summary: Somehow the Hummel household and the Hudson household had to come together…

Chapter Nine Chapter Ten

Chapter eleven

12.

“Good. Good. We are making great progress! Let’s see…we’ve covered allowances, groceries, school lunches, hmm…clothes!” Burt checked off his list as he went done it.  “I think we will go with Kurt’s clothing budget. Finn might like this.  I will buy 100 dollars’ worth of pants every other month. That might be one pair of pants or it might be several pairs of pants. If you wear it over your legs it is pants. On months I am not covering pants I will buy 100 dollars’ worth of tops.  It could be one top…shirt, sweater, sweatshirt, hoody…or it could be multiple tops. Undershirts are tops.  Long johns and thermals generally are considered pants, if bought in sets. I do not buy Halloween costumes anymore, save up for what you want or make it yourself. I will buy one ‘Christmas’ outfit in November…that is nice pants, button-up shirt, and a nice sweater of MY choice that are fit to wear to fancy dinners or parties that might come with the holiday season. I cover one swimsuit a year, one jacket a year, one winter coat under 250 every other year unless you outgrow yours, one pair of nice shoes…those could be nice boots, and one pair of gym type shoes, of a reasonable price. I don’t buy really expensive gym shoes. If you think you need those, you buy them yourself.  I do not completely cover uniforms.  I will pay for them, but you will work half of the cost off.  I buy 12 pairs of socks at the beginning of school and for Christmas and we check to see if any are needed for summer, if some are I also buy a pack of socks for summer.  I buy 8 to 10 pairs of underwear at the beginning of school and 4 to 5 pairs, depending on what comes in a pack, at Christmas and at the start of summer. You want more clothing, you pay for it yourself.  IF you don’t use all your clothing money for a month, you can talk me into adding the extra to your post high school account, but only that account. The household will cover half that for me. Carole, if you want to buy clothing from the family account that is the set up for you as well. This will cover plenty of clothing. In fact it can cover way more clothing than anyone really needs.”

“What about work clothes?” Carole asked.

Burt thought for a few moments.  “I buy Kurt’s and mine through the shop.  Doesn’t your job provide a clothing stipend?”

“Well, yeah, but…” Carole said.

“You bring me a list of what extra you need that isn’t covered by what your job gives you for it and we can work something out.”

“I just don’t see how that is fair…”

“Carole, you add just 50 percent of your income to the family account, after taxes and everything.  You have 50 percent to spend on whatever you would like.  As a household we cover kids clothing because one of the things parents do is provide clothing for their kids. The household provides some clothing for us.  You have money to provide beyond that for yourself.”

“I still think it is unfair.” Carole said.

“And I could go back to the lawyer and bank officials who helped set up this family account and have the official documents drop what I put in the family account to only 50 percent as well and make it more fair.” Burt said.  “They said to just come in and change that if I ever decided to since that was our legal agreement and I’m just putting in 70 percent to make family living easier.”

Kurt was taking notes.

“But how does Kurt get all his clothing?”  Finn yelled, slamming his fists on the table.

“I work, Finn.  I have a job.” Kurt answered.  “Actually, more than one.”

“A job?” Finn responded incredulously.

“Yeah, a job. It pays me and I use that money to buy myself stuff.  I also plan and shop sensibly and save and shop around. I often can buy six or seven shirts with the hundred bucks my dad gives me for shirts, one wonderfully awesome month I bought seven pairs of pants with Dad. It was glorious. The money Dad gives for clothing is not a small amount, and definitely not if you are wise.”

“Moving on, we come back to that topic though, so think through if there is really more you want to say. And the topic of jobs will be coming up!” Burt said before anyone could speak more on jobs. “Money wise we still need to cover outings and other items. We covered father and son outings, once a month for each of you boys…under 100 for Finn except twice a year. No spending limit on Kurt for this next year at least, except Kurt…be reasonable.  No big trips.  A father son outing may not be a trip to New York or Disneyland or anything like that.”

“Chicago?”  Kurt asked.

“Maybe, we’d have to see why.”

“One of the big races?” Kurt asked.

“In Ohio?  Yes.  I’ll have to think about others.”

Kurt nodded.

“I am willing to fund two large family outings…family vacations.  One if out of state. None if the whole family isn’t included.  We can discuss smaller family outings.  I might be willing to do several of those, it will be a ‘we will see’ deal.  It will greatly depend on the circumstances of life when the ideas are brought up.”

“What kind of circumstances?” Finn asked.

“If you had good grades, if you were behaving decently, if you hadn’t broken rules for a while, if you had kept up with your chores, those types of circumstances. Family Vacations are a treat, not a necessity.”

Finn tossed his head back and groaned.

“Ok.  Other money items. If you break something around the house, you replace it.  If I have to pay for it, you will work off the cost. I don’t cover your cell phone payments. If you want me to cover your cell phone payment, your cell phone will be a one of those inexpensive little phones you buy and then buy cards to put minutes on it or we will do a monitored family plan.  Do not rent movies on the TV.  If you do you will pay for them.  You may ask and IF I agree I will do the renting of it.  Do not add channels, do not order pay-per-view games. DO NOT ADD to the TV BILL.  If you do, you will be paying the whole of the next month’s TV bill yourself.”

“But..” Finn started.

“No. If you seriously want to watch a game we don’t get, you come and ask.  IF you haven’t asked for a while, I might think about it and say yes. IF you make a habit of asking, I will even get rid of the sports channels I have added.”

Finn nodded.

“We cover all school class fees under 30 bucks, over 30 you cover half your fee.  So, we cover your class fees if you have them for all classes except…what class was that Kurt?”

“Photography had a 35 dollar fee and a 20 dollar rental if you didn’t have your own digital camera. All the other classes are under 30. Oh, except driver’s ed.”

“We will be discussing driver’s ed. in a little bit.” Burt said. “The family account will pay your basic student fee. You pay your sports fees.  I’ll cover your yearbook if you haven’t purchased it already.  The family account covers field trips and bus fees for those.  You pay your own parking fee. Next year for senior year we will cover your senior portraits, cap and gown, 100 graduation announcements, and 75 bucks worth of other graduation stuff. You cover the rest.  You cover dances. The family account covers school pictures, including the spring ones, but only the 30 buck and under packages.  Oh, and the family account will cover 100 dollars of hobby purchases every three months, although I can be talked into upping that amount around Christmas if you sell me a good enough reason and around county fair time if you sell me a good enough reason.  Anything else?  No? If someone thinks about something we can talk about it then.”

“I think we ought to do something the Hudson way.” Carole stated.

“Chores were next on my list,” Burt said.  “Did you want to do chores the Hudson way?”

“Yes!” shouted Finn.

“Not really.” Said Carole. “I’ve been trying to get Finn to do chores for years.”

Burt smiled.  “I do need suggestions on how to split them up and if we want to rotate chores or stick with chores that are just ours.”

“Rotate.” Kurt said.

“Have chores that are just ours,” said Finn. “I will have ‘take out the garbage’ and I’ll only have to do the kitchen when it is full.  That is it.”

“Yeah, no.” Burt said.

“What do you mean, we?” Carole said.

“I mean we.  I realized that I have to do more daily chores around the place or I’ll be screwed when Kurt goes off to college. ALL of us will be getting some chores.”

“But Burt, we work.” Carole said.

“So does Kurt.”

“But…”

“Carole, who did chores at the Hudsons?” Burt asked.

“I did.”

“And you did so while working.”

“Yes.”

“So you can do so here. I am serious about this.  When Kurt was off at Dalton, no one did anything until it was shameful around here.  I was used to it being done. I don’t know what you two’s excuse was. That won’t happen again.  We all get chores.  So Kurt start making some lists.”

Kurt pulled a sheet out of his notebook he was writing in and started a list.

“I figure who ever cooks wipes down the stove and counters when done cooking.  Pots and pans go in with the dishes. Someone needs to set and clear and wash the table.  Someone needs to sweep and vacuum the living areas.  We need the main floor bathroom kept clean, trash picked up, things dusted. Trash taken out and sidewalks kept clear.  Bedrooms and bathrooms kept clean.”

“Hmm….”Kurt said. “When are you checking chores are done, Dad?”

“I always checked at about 10pm before.”

Kurt nodded.

“Should we go back to baskets on the stairwells?”

Burt thought for a moment and nodded.

“Ok.  How does this sound?  One chore list would be pick-up the living room and TV room down stairs and vacuum. The next would be pick-up and vacuum the dining room and set and clear the table.  The third would be keep the bathroom down here tidy and fresh and take out the trash throughout the house except the bedrooms, we take out our own bedroom trash…including taking the bin to the road on pick-up days, this person could also shovel the sidewalk on snowy days or water in summer.  The final list is washing the dishes and put them away and sweep and pick-up the kitchen.  Everyone keeps their bedroom and the other bathrooms clean and if we can’t manage to do that without one person taking the brunt, Finn and I can switch off bathroom days and you and Carole can switch off bathroom days. Everyone makes their own breakfast or you could pay 50 cents if someone wakes up and makes a full breakfast for everyone. You wash your own breakfast and lunch dishes. We can look at other chores like weeding and such come summer to see if they can become weekend chores and maybe have a different pay for those less heavy weekend chores that I’d been doing daily but didn’t necessarily need done daily.”

Finn looked at Kurt. “Like, that doesn’t seem to have too much on any one list.”

“It doesn’t.  IF you keep things picked-up to start with and do things daily it’s not that hard to keep things up.  We’ll go back to baskets, too.  We’ll get laundry baskets and I’ll put our names on them and when you are cleaning your area and you come across someone’s stuff, you put it in the basket.  Then when you go to your room, you pick-up your basket and take it with you, put your stuff away, and then bring back your basket so it can be filled again.”

“You said laundry baskets. What about laundry?”  Finn asked.

“We do our own.” Kurt said firmly.  “I will NOT do your laundry; in fact I prefer only ever seeing MY unmentionables, thank you very much. I do my laundry on Saturdays.  Dad does his on Tuesdays when he had his off hours.  You can pick any other day.  I will teach you how to do this.  This is an important life skill, Finn.  Do you want to go around with pink underwear for half your first year of college because you never learned how to do laundry?”

“Pink underwear?” Finn asked.

“Yes.  Read any blog out there about guys’ first year living without their mom…PINK UNDERWEAR.  Imagine trying to get somewhere with your girlfriend and having to explain that.” Kurt said.

“Is Friday nights good? Like late, so I won’t be having to get home too early? Or would that like be too little time?” Finn asked in a fearful voice.

Kurt looked disdainfully at Finn’s clothing.  “I think we can get your wash done in one evening.  Friday night sounds great.  I’ll buy you a clothing hamper…all your own…for the room.  No charge for teaching you to do laundry or the hamper.”

Burt smiled and Carole looked shocked.

“I’ll take Thursdays,” Carole said quietly.

Kurt smiled and made note in his notebook.  “Did we decide to rotate chores?” Kurt asked.

“I think we will rotate, how does for a whole week sound?”  Burt asked.

Carole nodded and Finn agreed.  “I think I can do most of those without it being too hard.”

Kurt smiled condescendingly at Finn.  “I’m glad.”

“Wait, like…do we have a dishwasher here?”  Finn asked.

Kurt rolled his eyes and wrote more down.  

“Yes, Finn,” Burt said. “We have a dishwasher and I will teach you how to run it.”

[amandaitaly18]

My time in Italy is quickly coming to an end. I only have two more days in the school here and I will miss being treated like a famous person. Teaching about American English, culture, and sports has been so interesting. I am surprised by how different but yet the same things are. I believe that half of the kids’ new favorite sport is American football. Classroom management is different because of the culture but teaching through repetition and using movements is very similar. All over the world children love to move and ask questions. The comparisons that the young students have made are amazing. I am learning so much from this experience. There are things that I like better and like less at both places. I do feel respected as a teacher by the students but again the culture is different so the movement of the classroom is different. There is significantly more student freedom in Italy but there are still rules. I will definitely miss school lunches. The time that you have to actually sit and eat and enjoy the delicious food is mind blowing compared to what I am used to. In Italy jobs are a lot less stable so many of the teachers are concerned every year about being re-hired. Despite this, the teachers still go above and beyond just like in America. My host mom is a teacher at my school and she is constantly bringing stuff home after staying late and then working on fun interactive projects for the kids after dinner like a robot circle drawer. Again, spending her time and money to help students. It is easy to tell that the teachers care about their students here and that is heartwarming. Last night my host mom said “our job is hard but rewarding” and I couldn’t agree more. I showed her a picture of my graduation cap that reads “teachers change lives” I had to explain what I meant by this and she became very excited. The school we are at is very diverse and she said that it provides stability for many young children. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from, everyone just needs someone to care, and for so many people, a teacher can be that person. I am so thankful to have my host family and for the way they have adopted me as their own. We have a great time every night and talk about so much. So many similarities that connect us even when we come from such different places. Today I went to the grocery store with my host mother, which was an experience of its’ own, to gather ingredients so that I could cook them an American dinner. I had picked out a chicken dish and made a list (in Italian and English), but I found that things are just different here. I learned that Colby jack cheese does not exist in Italy. In fact, very few cheeses I saw looked at all familiar. I also learned that Italy has “mustard” but it is not our mustard. It is more like a marmalade. The trip really was very cool to experience and that was something I had not thought of before to be different. Once we got home, I learned more about my ingredients. Bacon is not commonly used in Italy and although what I got looked very similar to some good thick American bacon, it never got crispy like I am used to. It also stayed very close to the size it started rather than shriveling up. It tasted a little different but mostly the same, just without the crunch. My biggest surprise was when I went to cook the chicken. I had already thought “hmm their chicken breasts are thin here,” well I had no idea how thin. I put what I thought was one thin breast in the pan and my mom laughed at me as she separated what was really a stack of very finely sliced chicken. It looked like a thicker cut lunch meat. This is still mind blowing to me. Although I had to change ingredients and cooking times, the meal still turned out very good and my whole family enjoyed it! After dinner I checked my brothers English homework which was really cool. P.S. When I first arrived people could easily tell I was American, but today I went shopping and they were all confused when I said “inglese only” because I have perfected “ciao, and grazie .”

[subetaspeaks]

RE: CW WL Trading

So... I'm one of the persons you all love to hate, sadly. And I have been debating if I should or shouldn't reply here because... well, I don't feel like I'm a bad person and I didn't want to be the target of everyone else hate. Mostly because I adore to death a lot of the users who commented on that post. You're all my fellow game companions. And some of you I can even call my "friends", why not? You've been bearing with me through so much.

But... I need to be honest with my feelings. I need to say what I think now, before I regret, and face all the possible consequences, including having everyone else hate. Because otherwise, I would be heartbroken for not being honest with myself and standing for what I am or what I believe.

I was talking to Ursa about this post, because she commented that: "im just passing by to say that i thiiink voltage and varsna’s stories seem to be about the same person (tho i have no clue who it is) and i giggled when i read" and well... I believe I'm the person VOLTAGE was talking about, but I wasn't the one who Varsna spoke about. So I messaged her to say that she was wrong about her statement and I decided to vent.

I will copy what I said to her here. I hope you can... well, respect me and my point of view, maybe? Make an effort to not hate me to death? Please.

To Ursa: "It's somewhat sad, you know? I can totally understand everyone's anger. I've missed slotting on stuff I wanted before... tons of times, actually. I just don't blame other people, that are just trying to pursue their own interests and 'happiness' (even considering that this is an online game!). I honestly don't see why the wish of certain person of having a particular item is better than the wish of someone else to get items out of their WL, for an example. In the end, everyone is just pursuing their own interests, plain and simple. The whole problem isn't caused because people are "greedy"; the main problem is that the market is shrinking and the items are becoming more and more ultra-limited because most people cannot fill slots easily. And the blessed ones, owners of popular releasers, are afraid of rising their batch caps and their beloved items ended up turning common and not filling slots easily as almost every other stuff around. Of course, there're exceptions. There are people who actually just want their items to be rarities after all. People are somewhat quitting Subeta and the CW game for multiple reasons. And the problem is a non-stopping circle. The old rarer popular items will become "trade only" and the new popular items will have tons of slotters that are mainly interested on using them for trading purposes. In the end, all items will be on the hands of people who genuinely like them a ton. But people will still hate each other for silly reasons like "this person has lots of popular stuff that I want but she doesn't accept CSC, I hate her, that [insert bad names here, tons of them]". This is plain stupid and it should stop. Why on Earth is the other person, who is just searching for whatever their want to, is any worse than you that's also searching for stuff you want to? Why the other person is "greedy, egoist" and you're not? I'm failing to see this at all. But.. tell me one thing. Does anything makes you more happy than doing your art? You might find a list of some things, but... isn't it something you love to death? Making your art, I mean? And how do you feel when people start with that bullshit of "you should make your art because you love it, not for money" or "making art isn't a proper job"? And things like that. Everyone that works with art already felt this venom before. The venom of the idiots who can't recognize the value of your job because they don't have interest, talent or simple doesn't know how much you WORK (and you work hard!) to make art properly. Let me introduce myself, then. Four years of Economic college; graduating next May. Will try to get a Master degree whenever I finally set down from moving, I'm going to live in a different city soon. Business courses in accounting and external relations. Six years studing custom laws, especially in terms of taxation and importation rules. Seven years of work with importations and general reselling; two non-official (regular person who buys and sell stuff) and five as a legalized importer/small company. And you know what's the poison I get from society? "Being a reseller/merchant/working with commerce in general isn't a proper job, you're just a greedy parasite of society! You're winning money by extorting others! Your capitalist pig!" Subeta is basically a real life economic/market simulator and that was why I got so interested on it (and on Neopets, previously). The CW market is not very different from the real market. There are the producers (artists), the distribuitors (releasers), the retailers or resellers or the "evil within" as people sometimes name us (in this case, the people who slot on popular stuff for trading purposes or maybe to resell for a little bit more) and........... the customers. The main difference is that in real life you have the government, tons of taxes to pay and rules to follow. Here, things are simple but the prejudice is basically the same. But in the end, you'll still need to rely in your ability to differentiate a bad from a good deal. And you'll be also needing to "be on the right place at the right time" to grab the good opportunities, which isn't not always a matter of luck as people say. I would say that a good part of the times it's a matter of effort. You can be "lucky" to be online in the exact time of a certain ping, but if you want to be there for most of them... you'll have to be updating Subeta's page on your phone at every few minutes (even while doing other things) to check pings. And this is effort, not luck. The same applies to CWs, as well. Slotting is a part of the business game. You'll have to be quick to differentiate a good from a bad deal. Some deals are obviously good, while others aren't that easy to identify. You'll need to observe a lot to see what is trendy, what would be possible trendy and in the end... make a bet. Will you be able to get a trade for that item that the releaser is offering (if you don't want it for yourself)? Or you'll end up giving up and reselling for slot price? Or will you fail completely and end up having to sell the item for even less than slot? That isn't very different from the things I do for a living. The main difference is that when I "bet" here, I might end up losing $5 or so per item (doing the CSC-real money conversion) and in real life, when I bet on the wrong product, I end up with a loss of $5000 and tons of boxes of repeated things that I don't have where to store anymore. My office is small and I don't even have a room in my house anymore. It pretty much looks like a deposit. There are boxes everywhere and I barely can even walk inside of it. xD I believe I have made the house looks like a secondary deposit, honestly. LOL That isn't, in the end, any different from what I do. It's just a matter of scale and the fact that Subeta is a game. That isn't any different from my job. That isn't any different from the only thing I have devoted my life to study. That isn't any different from the only thing that I'm, apparently, good at. That isn't any different from the only thing I really love doing, above anything else. And this kind of judgement that people do hurts, even after all these years. I'm here to have fun as everyone else. I already face enough judgement on real life. I wish I could be free from judgement here, at least. It saddens me so badly that people think that the only thing I am decent at (and love above all) is garbage, an unworthy work. I've been in-and-out depression for years because of that. One day, I hope the society poison doesn't affect me anymore and I can be 100% happy with what I do. One day, I hope that my heart turns into a skyscraper business building, with glassy walls fully sound-proof, so I will not be affected by the opinions of others. For now, I'll have to content myself with being in my small office, opening the windows and trying to breath some fresh, not poisoned air. ^^ Sorry for the huge venting. I should probably have written on Subeta Speaks instead but... I don't want to be the witch during inquisition again. Seriously, I already have to interpret that character a lot. If I have to be the evil on the life storyline, I hope I can at least be that villain that people sympathize with... you know? I hope I can be at least that kind of villain, after all.

You're an artist and I'm a merchant. We've different kinds of poison that we've to face. Can we put them in bowls and have a little toast? To success and good riddance! ^^ "

Oh, Voltage!! I forgot mentioning. The milkshake is still with me, in case you're curious to know where it went. I've put it UFT in my trades and then a lightining striked me: "Well, this one was 4 batches anyway and my WL is at a beyond-hell level of difficulty anyway so... I think that it's time for me to finally keep one of those! Yay!" So I snuggled it and put it back into the Wardrobe. In case you're still curious about where are the other copies that I slotted on, they're with close friends of mine and have found their forever homes. Don't worry.

It's not that I don't like them. I honestly do, a lot. I swear. And I like you too, a lot, I hope you know that. The problem is that while I have 100+ CW wigs that I like in my Wardrobe, I barely even have 30 chest/body/outfits that I like to use. I'm picky with those (or to express myself better: I have bad taste and layering troubles!) and the ones that I don't own and like are "trade only" so.... yep. I hope you're not angry with me anymore. ;-;

Not that the most fun part of the CW game itself, at least for me, isn't the hunt to get slots/selling/buying/trading/haggling thing. It's. In the end, owning the CWs that I like is just a consequence of playing the CW market game correctly.

And the game is fun on itself. As my job is. The fun part isn't in making a huge amount of money, no. It comes from the happiness I feel when I find out that I have chose the right product among many. The profit is just a happy consequence... and hell, losses happen a lot too. But I don't wanna talk about those, please. Let's talk about something else. HAHAHAHA ;_;

And mmmm.... again, I'm sorry everyone. I hope you can understand.

(and sorry for the suck'ish English too, I think it's very clear that it's not my main language after all :P)

TL;DR

I suck. Please love me anyway.

[outletcheapggdb-blog]

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[timuntimes18-blog]

Interview With the Keynote Speaker Hakan Ateş

by Mehmet Ekin Doğan TIMUN TIMES: From my research, I read that you did not have the intention of becoming a banker. What was your dream job instead? And why did you change your mind to become a banker?

HAKAN ATEŞ: I graduated from Ankara College. Actually, I was interested in dubbing during my high school years. I was dubbing movies and TV series characters like White Shadow, Dallas, Bonanza etc. Those were the years I started earning pocket money, and when I graduated from the Middle East Technical University, I asked my mother’s permission to continue my professional dubbing carrier. She said a big no. She had spent tons of money on my education and didn’t want me to waste my time on an on-and-off (again) business.

There was a janitor whose husband was an auditor working in Iş Bank, who one day convinced my mom that I should be a banker. She explained how her husband got double salaries every few months and all the other benefits. Mom came home with dollar signs in her eyes, and shouted at me: “You have to be like that, so pack up and go take the audit team exams.” I took the exam and got a job, however, things did not go that well for me. Right after I started to work, there was a military coup, and because of that Iş Bank decided to stop paying double salaries. Nevertheless, I had the chance to start my banking career at the biggest private bank in Turkey.

TT: In the past, money used to be tangible, and it was stored in large vaults. There are still some places, in which money is protected in vaults, but we can say that it requires lots of workforce and security. On the other hand, we have intangible cryptocurrencies, online banking services, and sites: Paypal, Bitcoin, Ripple etc. Which one is the best way to handle money? Should it be tangible or intangible?

HA: My friends and I have a special term for modern-day humans: “Digi-sapiens.” There is a big conversion across the world.  We are getting more and more digitized. We have finally reached to a level that these algorithms, what we call “blockchains” have conquered our world. We observe them not only in forms of cryptocurrencies, but while keeping the records, accounting, converting the data, etc. You will witness this phenomenon no matter which sector you are working in.

If we are talking about the money itself, my answer to your question is “yes”. It is easier to secure, transport and handle if it is intangible, but it’s really hard to talk about cryptocurrencies. It’s like a brand new world. IPOs (Initial Public Offerings) used to be much more common in the past, but now we can see that the ICOs (Initial Currency Offerings) have replaced them. There are lots of ICOs in the world.  Iran, for instance, is one of the biggest cryptocurrency manufacturing centers, as are China and Russia.

Ripple and Bitcoin are two popular cryptocurrencies. Bitcoin is the most used and the most known. In fact, it’s market cap even reached two trillion dollars! Though its value dramatically came down from 25-27 thousand dollars per bitcoin to four thousand, it is still a valuable currency. Ripple’s format is a little bit different, but it is actually functioning in a very similar way. The interesting fact about the cryptocurrencies is that there is no such regulator standing behind these cryptocurrencies for the time being. There is lots of speculation about these currencies. People say that you can gain five or even ten times the amount you invest in them. But what people don’t see is the other side.  It can suddenly decrease and put you out of business. In my perspective, the question is how will it be commercialized. It will eventually be commercialized, but for this, a regulator should come up and backup these currencies. Like some of the Scandinavian countries like Latvia and Sweden who are trying to adopt a cashless economy.

I have a conspiracy theory. I believe that one day Uncle Sam, the name used for America by the bankers, will come up with a solution: They will decide to back up these cryptocurrencies. Because the dollar is the major reserve currency which makes up %70-%75 of the total reserve currencies, almost all the currencies are dependent on it. If Uncle Sam decides to adopt cryptocurrencies, the whole world will eventually follow this revolution. There are still some governments who are against this idea like China, who tried to ban but failed against the devastating power of cryptocurrencies. This is a good example of a paradigm shift, and how it is happening in the world. I believe in these algorithms. I believe in the blockchain. Thus, I believe in all kinds of derivatives as well.

TT: This year TIMUN’S main focus is shaping the future. What advice do you have for the youth who are responsible for shaping the future, and how can they be motivated to be more active in this process?

HA: First of all, I would like to congratulate you. If I’m not mistaken, this conference is a student initiative. I am happy to see students eager and ready to work. Actually, one of my old acquaintances called me and managed to convince me and my team--my chief economist, my digital CDO, and others--to come to your school. This is the future. You are the future. You have to get in this landscape as soon as possible. What I mean is you should start forming your ideas in early ages. You name it--Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, Elon Musk…--they all started at an early age and they became world giants. They have challenged the whole world. Look at Amazon, Alibaba… It is said that are all started in a tiny garage. Whoever gets on the train will be the winner. Life does not forget the ones who have missed the train. The gap between the winners and the losers will be so wide that we can never imagine what type of life we are going to experience in the next ten or twenty years. Maybe it will look like the city in Batman: Gotham. There are elites, people swimming in extreme riches and the poor homeless guys. You have to think about the country, the world as a whole and capture whatever is coming.

TT: From what I have heard you, as an individual who respects culture and art, you have always supported and been interested in literature and art. How have your varied interests benefited you in your professional life?

HA: As I have mentioned, TV and Cinema is considered as the seventh fine art. Television is a derivative of cinema, which includes tv series and shows. It’s all about roleplaying and theater. Then comes opera, ballet, high-level stage performances, painting, sculpture and so on. As humans, what we leave behind is important. Take a look at history, we are still digging up Egyptian, Roman and Hellenic remain, and we are continuously being surprised by the fact that there was a huge and a deep respect towards art in ancient civilizations. That’s the reason why we know the names of the ancient cities like Ephesus and Pergamum. I have recently made a visit to one of the ancient cities, and the reason why I went there was to sponsor a renovation of some ancient remains. Other than renovations, we as DenizBank make lots of other investments in art and culture. What is left from the ancient civilizations mostly do not belong to a nation? They are our world’s keepsakes. Who can beat Leonardo Da Vinci? Who can beat Michelangelo? Who can beat Kafka? They have managed put their signature to the human history. We are the followers of the ancient geniuses and as a social responsibility. We always do consider these sorts of charity works, supports and sponsorships as a part of our duty. That’s the reason why we are almost addicted to such kinds of performances for the sake of this country. We are a very young republic, less than a hundred years old, and we are concerned about the legacy of our current civilization. Hopefully, we will manage to create an eternal mark on human history. The next generations, digi-sapiens, will hopefully look back and memorialize our remains.

TT: Your work helping kids from underserved backgrounds hasn’t gone unnoticed. Can you please talk more about your work with TED?

HA: Actually, that’s the foundation that owned the school I graduated from. The idea comes from the founder of the Turkish Republic Mustafa Kemal Ataturk. He asked the ministry of education to initiate a foundation that would support the education of our children. This foundation’s main focus was to provide education in a foreign language, thus introducing the children to global culture. When I was a student, I didn’t know much about the foundation and their aims. Almost fifty percent of the students were getting a free education, while the other ones are paying a regular fee. The foundation helped children who were smart but did not have the money. We were all friends but nobody knew who had a scholarship and who did not. After I graduated and realized how much effort went into the project, I respected it a lot.

There had recently been severe earthquakes in the early 60s in the eastern part of Anatolia. There were twenty-five students who survived the earthquake who later came to our school to be educated for free. I watched them closely and realized that they have all had a bright future. I can finally say that I witnessed with my eyes what it means to invest in a human being.

That’s why we are trying to give similar opportunities and scholarships. There are approximately a hundred and fifty students who can profit from this opportunity each year. We are also providing job security as well, of course after passing some of the qualification exams, which has a very, very high success rate. Some of them even got further help from us, not only during their middle and high school life but during their university life as well they profited from the scholarships.

When they graduate, they usually come back to us and become “sailors.” As you know, our bank’s theme is the sea, and we like to use some of the marine-related terms for our employees. This is why they are usually called captains or sailors. We are enlarging our program year by year by giving more and more help to children from all over the country. We currently help forty different schools other than the Ankara College. They are following a special curriculum designed by specialists and every year they are learning new things. Some of them, who have never had the chance to even see the sea, can now make their dreams true. The first thing we do after the start of the first year is taking the children on a Bosphorus tour. They spend the night in good hotels, being interviewed and entertained.

I can’t forget this one girl who had graduated from our institution. When she was in primary school, we asked her what was her objective. She told us that she wanted to be the prime minister of Turkey. We then asked her how she was going to become one. She started to tell me every single step needed to be taken in order to become the prime minister, from the parliamentary regulations to the campaign tactics, everything! I can eagerly say that I am patriotic. I believe in Mustafa Kemal Ataturk’s principles and I am ready to take the necessary steps. I am happy and proud of any kind of help that is given by my institution.

[gaschamberblog-blog]

Some Dislikes About Going To Boot Camp

A soldiers story about boot camp: "I was there through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's. Great Lakes are a really inhospitable place between October and April. On the worst days, our Uniform of the Day has been anything we could match under our rain coats, ribbons, ski mask, and also see cap... We looked just like awkward bank robbers marching down the street. Over all I had a lot of fun. Don't get me wrong, I was happy to be out of that place too, but all in all, I have memories. It wasn't being able to keep up with the news around the globe. "In the time that I was moving through, we were on the verge of WW III with all of the stuff that was happening with Hamas, and then the bomb scare that shut down all the airports...besides that, it was the best holiday I've had in years... Though many people would say that being on laundry detail sucks, but that has been my refuge, I always was in there cleaning and studying...I think that space and job helped me maintain my sanity from all the "younglings" that were in my Div. I missed reading the daily newspaper (read comics). All those things you took for granted at home world in your own little went away and you got homogenized. "Now perhaps someone will say there's a gap in when I went through and Jomac, and that's very accurate, but the feelings and feelings were the same. Today it condensed from the 13 months. The real worst part was graduation day but not for what you believe. BTW OP, DH told me that the thing that sucked the worst for him wasn't being able to talk to me...but not only am I his wife and companion, he is fairly whipped (but he likes it. He can possess insight to let you know though. "We knew going in and it was confirmed about ten minutes after we entered the hall. We marched out and marched in and that was the graduation ceremony. I have always felt as though I missed something by not getting the ceremony that was regular but. I overlooked drinking coffee daily. Aside from that, was a pretty great time! I'm just too easy going for my own good, that's really all it is. There were parts of training I actually enjoyed, and all of the rest I've just forgotten about. It was a lot simpler than I anticipated. I frankly have more awful thoughts of "A" college than I do of boot camp. "Frankly I enjoyed all of my time at RTC along with my "A" school in San Antonio...finest 5 month vacation I have ever had...of course I feel that the fact that I was older than the majority of the people going through played a big factor too! (Especially at "A" school when I really could go at and enjoy the "night life" in the pubs...) they might request volunteers or assign it to someone...I spent quite much 2-3 hours a day in there, mostly cleanup, its a big deal come inspection time...and my wife hates the fact I did that, b/c I'm real anal today about the way my washer and drier looks today. . I go and inspect it daily when she does laundry. . I enjoyed it that no one in my div knew what toilette paper was! "I take it back about the one thing sucking was the not being in the know how about daily things on the planet and what was happening...the thing that probably sucked the most, was both times randomly issue. Have a really old hideous (but sweet!) Lady tug in my crotch and ask if that too cozy...I was like umm no that fine (while thinking to myself, I am not going any snugger or she will not be tugging at the fabric... then I realized I had been getting fondled by this older lady...) so wasn't true that you get no action at boot camp... the old women fondle ya at least twice, maybe more if you have to keep shifting. You are just plain curious about a Marine's life or whether you're among those considering to join the USMC, Marine boot camp tales are always pleasant to see and share because nearly Everybody is curious about what goes inside the camp. Oh yes we are all aware of the challenges and hardships! I read one intriguing and funny story and I'd love to discuss it. This is only one of the most funny boot camp stories worth discussing within several beers. This was a Christmas Eve and the recruits were out in the boondocks due to their own training. None of the drill teachers was even mentioning the event until one of the recruits had the chest to deliver the subject up. So that the drill teacher said "You need Christmas? Allow the games begin. You know what happened next? The drill instructor asked half of the platoon to climb a big tree carrying their flashlights some of these were requested to set on the lens. While they had been up there, they sang "Silent Night" and yes they changed their lights on and off! Everybody had a good laugh after. Now that's Marine Christmas. Want to hear another story? It was the day of Halloween and all of the cocoa mix gathered . That's really not a good sign. So everybody is cleaning the DI known as in four recruits and had them begin doing bends as well as their weapons and thrusts. After a few minutes of the ordeal, the recruits would be gasping for air and this is the perfect time that the DI is currently awaiting for to give them a package of the cocoa mix. The ironic cocoa snorted out through their noses and was churned out coming out of both mouth as you've probably figured. Is not that a trick or treat? Humorous Marine boot camp tales are always wonderful to have because it gets the disposition and they kind of take a little strain off. This narrative is about a biography which tried to escape out of Parris Island performing arts training . In rehab, he was at the moment since he'd broken his foot. He had broken his foot doing wind sprints. They put you till you've been healed, when you're hurt during boot camp. He escaped through the night by faking that he went outside for fire watch duty. He was fully dressed in his 782 gear. To start with, he headed in the woods which was assigned to third Battalion and during this first evening, he managed to map out in his mind the whole wooded place. He spent underneath the lining to his poncho. The next evening, he was low on water and he had to sneak into the exercise field to fill up his canteen. He strove to make his way into the head gate, that day. If you're not acquainted with Parris Island, then there's a kind of causeway that leads to the gate that's lined by a lot of skinny palm trees. What he did was that he really walked down the center of the causeway and scurried and hid when the vehicle was coming so that the headlights wouldn't pick him up. After he left it he'd noticed the guard was not really all that careful and that there was only 1 guard on duty. The guard watched TV and every 10 minutes or so, he'd head out and walk about. He did not have a decision, although he knew that his chances of getting caught in the primary gate were large. That was his only way. He ended up crawling really low to the ground in the edge. He did manage to sneak past the guard. Later on a police officer in Beauport caught him. The friendly police officer actually bought breakfast and chatting about the way he'd managed to escape to him. He had been told that he wasn't likely to be sent home and that he had been precious, when the escapee was returned to the Corps. Parenting a teenaged lad is stressful, which is why parents look and hotel for the boot camp for boys. They feel boot camp for boys are the ONLY choice to improve the area of their son. As nearly everything in their may may have tried and this is clear To restrain their boy before even contemplating training college. Apparently boot camps for boys have some ground rules to be followed by boot toddlers for the need that is much disciplinary values which are lacking. These regulations are based on techniques involving rigorous and severe penalties. Hence trainings that are aggressive and treatments may make or break the boys. For an instance, Military Training schools for boys can suppress the rebellious behaviors among guys but it will create. Not although in some instances, the harshness and scare at training schools works in a negative manner breaking the boys' confidence and influencing the tender minds. Therefore a consideration in this regard is highly advisable for a parent that can research and search for options to training colleges for boys. Parents are constantly in a fantastic faith of their boys and they frequently investigate a lot to check the success rate. And the majority of the times they have to read about the great success stories ONLY despite of the high recidivism rate (that is unnoticed) among boys that attend training faculty. The reason why boot camps for boys look a fast fix to parents expecting to regain the control over the problem through toddlers schools leverage that is. Before rehabilitating your son to boot camps that can not render a psychiatric treatment which may be required you need to consider all the PROS and why boot camp sucks CONS. You can seek a help from counselling services that will turn the young boys, rather leaving your boy on the mercy of coaching schools. You may organize your expectations with the distressed boys who are open to accept such discussions if suggested. Recall boot camp to your boys might not always prove to be the ideal choice. You'll NEVER WANT your son to cover it although besides you might prefer to bear a HIGH COST for boy boot camp to all be borne by YOURSELF. Eva Foxman passionate about having fulfilling relationships, particularly and is a mother of two teens that are enormous. Besides raising 2 amazing teens, she enjoys to read, write and discuss parenting experiences, stories, articles and more which can help other people to parent their children. 1 Stop Support for parents offering information, advice, techniques, tools and useful Assistance as well as Boys Boot Camps, Child Behaviour Problem and Child Behavior Disorder. 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[thehatchcreates]

Art Profile: The Indianapolis Art Center

If you’ve been into The Hatch lately, you’ve probably noticed an interactive art installation called “The Art Bar.” Designed to foster creativity and intuitive breaks in your day, The Art Bar is an installation that is part of an art outreach by the Indianapolis Art Center. In an effort to better understand the center, we sat down for an in depth Q & A with two key people at the Art Center, Alyson Walbridge and Michelle Winkelman. Read on to hear what they have to say...

 -How did you come up with the idea for the Art Bar? What do you hope to accomplish with it?

Michelle: We came for a tour of the Hatch with Maggie and tossed around a lot of ideas for how our spaces and programs could work together. Alyson and I were impressed with how the Hatch integrates creativity and wellness into the coworking space. We saw the self-service juice bar with fresh juice from the Garden Table and riffed off of that to create the Art Bar.

Alyson: The Art Center has also been thinking about wellness in the workplace. One of the things I was already thinking about was how to re-boot my work flow – how to get that creative jolt when I get stuck or tired during the day. The Art Bar is really about that. We want to encourage people to be creative every day, even if it’s only for five minutes. And of course we hope the Art Bar is a way to connect people to the Art Center to take that creativity even further.

-For those who don't know, what is the Art Center? Who does it serve? What is it's mission? Where is it located?

The Indianapolis Art Center’s mission is to engage, enlighten, and inspire our community through interactive art education, outreach to underserved audiences, support of artists, and exposure to the visual arts. We started as a Works Progress Administration (WPA) program during the Great Depression with just a few teaching artists and a handful of students. Today our building and nine-acre ArtsPark are located at 820 E 67th Street in the Broad Ripple neighborhood, welcoming over 250,000 visitors annually. The Art Center’s building has gallery spaces with rotating, curated exhibits featuring contemporary art, and over a dozen studio spaces equipped for art media ranging from drawing and painting to blacksmithing, ceramics, glassblowing, and many more. Our core programs include:

-Art classes varying in skill level, length, and media for adult and youth students

-Rotating exhibitions that are always free and open to the public

-ArtReach, a free, community-based after-school art program for youth in low-income areas of Indianapolis, which reaches about 1,000 students annually

-Six weeks of Summer Art Camps for youth ages 4-18

-The Broad Ripple Art Fair

-Indy’s first Teen Art Council

and lots more!

-What other upcoming projects are you most excited about? 

Alyson: Lately I’ve been having a lot of fun planning our Pop-Up Date Night coming up on February 17, not only planning the classes but also putting together decorations and goody bags and really going all-out with the Valentines theme, making it really cheesy but also really fun! I’m excited to see people here on that night, not only in the studios but also mingling at an Art Center event.

Michelle: Even though my work is mostly focused on our classes, I always get excited when we have an exhibition opening coming up. The next one is February 10 from 6-9pm. One of the shows opening that night is called About Face, and it’s various interpretations of portraiture and features several local artists. Our openings are a great way to cap off the week, and with bars and restaurants within walking distance you can really make a night of it. Our openings are free and family-friendly, too.

-What inspires you or drives you to create?

Michelle: I see visual art as another way to communicate – sometimes a better way to communicate, especially complex ideas or emotions that I have a harder time putting into words. Creativity and the creative process are a process for me; sometimes it matters a lot more what happens during that process than what the end result ends up being. When I haven’t created something in a long time I can feel bottled up; art and art-making is a release for me. It’s a way to work with, interpret, or make sense of the world around you.

Alyson: I’m currently in a ceramics class at the Art Center, and I find I’m inspired by the other students in my class. The community really helps to draw out new ideas and try new things in my work. Working in such a creative environment, I’m also inspired daily by my coworkers and the exhibitions in our galleries.

-How do you balance the creative side of your organization with the business/administrative side? Do you have any advice for individuals in creating a similar balance? 

Michelle: Well, as a non-profit, we definitely have to pay attention to the business side of what we do. That’s a large part of my role at the Art Center, trying to make opportunities possible but also sustainable. I guess that I have some days that I work more heavily on those kind of projects. When I find myself sitting behind the computer for too long I try to remind myself to get out of my chair and walk through the halls, pop into the studios, and witness people in the midst of that creative process. I’ve had lots of conversations on this topic with people in all kinds of non-profits and it always seems to come back to the mission – don’t lose sight of your mission, live your mission.

Alyson: I try not to separate those two sides, actually. Since our mission is encouraging others to be creative, I try to be creative in all of my work, whether it’s business/administrative or something more typically “creative” – I think it is more of a mindset of how you approach your work.

-What is your favorite aspect of the Indy Arts community?

Alyson: I’m constantly learning something new from this community, constantly exposed to a new concept or artist. Indy’s art world can seem small, but the opportunities are large.

Michelle: I feel it’s a very supportive community. We want each other to succeed. When the arts succeed in Indy we’re all better for it. So we turn out for each other, we challenge each other to be better, we work together. We make things, and we make things happen.

-What originally drew you to the Art Center?

Alyson: I applied for and received an internship opportunity in the Education department and shortly realized I loved being around people who were as excited about art as I was. I love the Art Center’s focus on providing access to art education for all people.

Michelle: In school I discovered I had a passion for connecting people with art. I was looking for a place where people could make art, see art, and talk about art with others. It wasn’t until a friend took me to visit the Art Center that I realized this place already existed, and it was much more than I could have even imagined. I love hearing our students’ stories and am inspired by the variety of reasons people have for taking classes here.

-How can people connect with you? 

We’re online at www.indplsartcenter.org, where you can find links to our current classes, exhibitions, and upcoming events. You can register for classes online, by phone, or in person at our Guest Services desk. When classes are in session, the Art Center is open Monday-Friday 9am-10pm, Saturday 9am-6pm, and Sunday noon-6pm; between semesters we close every day at 6. The building and grounds are always free and open to the public, and we love it when people just stop by! In fact, since we’re along the Monon Trail, we often get casual visitors who just stop in for a moment during their workout or weekend stroll. If you want to plan your visit, though, check out what’s happening by going to our website or checking our Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram pages.

Michelle Winkelman has a Bachelor’s degree in Studio Art from Lake Forest College. She discovered the Art Center after moving to Indianapolis in 2006. Since then she has held a variety of positions at the Art Center, including managing their ArtReach program. From 2011-2015 she served as Director of Outreach, and now is the Director of Education and Outreach, overseeing programs for over 5,000 students annually.

Alyson Walbridge graduated in 2015 from Ball State University with a degree in Art History. She has a passion for audience engagement and connecting people to all kinds of art, whether on the wall, in the studio – or at the Hatch! She is the New Audiences Programs Manager at the Art Center, managing their Pop-Up programs, Access Art (their tuition assistance program) and a variety of other activities that introduce people to art education and the Art Center.

Stop by the Art Center itself to learn more and meet these lovely ladies, or just stop by The Hatch and take a brain break for a few moment’s creativity. A $3 donation to the Art Center is encouraged for everyone participating in the Art Bar. Cash and card are accepted.