#ALSO DONT MURDER ME IF YOU DISAGREE JUST IGNORE ME

[stormypip7]

About Grand Fest,

It is not a 'pick your favourite idol group' splatfest.

You can do that, but that just tells me that you don't care about the outcome for the next game.

This isn't necessarily the Final Fest, but it can still have important repercussions. (It could simply be some Anniversary Fest with an important effect!)

It is exactly what it says on the box. Past vs Present vs Future. That's it. Not a scrap between fans over their preferred idols. The community loves boiling almost every fest down to 'wHiCh iDoL dO YoU PrEfEr?' instead of the actual theme.

Past could give lore-hungry fans more insight into the world of Splatoon. Present could explore other regions of the ingame universe. Future could introduce changes and shiny new playthings with more detail.

We are not fighting over the Squid Sisters, Off the Hook and Deep Cut.

(Also, tumblr is my only source. If people want to add to this with thoughts or extra info, feel free! I'm just stating my opinion on the topic, and if your idol matches with the theme you like; you don't need to listen to this rambling fool!)

[comas-are-for-sleeping]

its so mindboggling that people can go “how can you say free palestine if you’re queer” as if the opinions a person has changes the validity of their life??? yall sound real similar to the people saying trans people are a danger to society

[edupiii]

The other night I went on a tangent to my friends about the music in Murder Drones and how it’s hard to compare the albums since they are each amazing in their own ways. Despite this, my friend insisted that I compare them, so I did. After writing everything out, she said I should post it so that’s what’s happening!

Welcome to an informal essay about the music in Murder Drones

In this essay, I will be going over the 4 albums created by A.J Dispirito and the strengths within each album. This essay is to show that the music between the albums is unable to be compared to one another as they are all astounding and work wonders for the atmosphere of the overall show.

Feel free to disagree with me and let me know your thoughts!

Murder Drones Pilot Mini-Album

The pilots album could be considered the weakest of the 4. It doesn’t have that many tracks that are reused throughout the other episodes. BUT- it is very strong as it has “Murder Brings” which is the trailer song for the pilot and it’s kind of a banger. I find it not as good as “Eternal Dream” “BITE ME” and “FOREVER” but it’s still super fucking good. In the first album we also have “Click”, “Gin Rummy”, “UZI THE DRONE KILLER” and “Goth Girl Anime Lover VS Wholesome Killer Boy” which are all very good songs that get you hyped for fight scenes. There are a few more mellow songs in the pilot’s album, making it not stand out as much. Despite that, it is also the very album that brought us the iconic Murder Drones theme music, which has been a staple in all future songs throughout the series. It’s not looked at as much as the other albums but it worked for the pilot and that’s all it really needed to do. It was good and is still good.

Murder Drones Volume 1

Next is the first official MD album. Once again, it can be overlooked like the pilots soundtrack since it doesn’t have super gut punchy, kick assy music. HOWEVER- it has a very eerie tone to it since it’s going over the second episode (with the Eldritch J monster) and it takes place in Dolls Room which is scary as fuck. It also gives us a few really good adrenaline pumping songs like “Aaaaahhh”. The song Bathtub” is in this album and it is spooky and intense which I love! Classic horror vibes. We also get “Uuugghhh” in this album which is possibly one of my favourites since it keeps going from energetic to spooky and I find that really funny for some reason (also the scenes this song was used for is hilarious). “Get Prommed” and “The Knife Dance” are INCREDIBLY ICONIC and have that addicting saxophone in it along with lots of grove. I really like “Spooky Flashback? oooooo” since it gives us a first look at the Elliot Manor and what kind of music we will be hearing in the 5th episode. Mind you, it’s not as good as the songs in the 5th episode but for foreshadowing, I think it works beautifully as it just gives us a small idea of what the manor was like for N, V and J. I think the first album is often overlooked but just like the pilot album, it has some wicked shit in it that you can’t ignore.

Murder Drones Volume 2

The second album I think might be my favourite because of the music used for the Elliot Manor flashbacks. There’s something so saddening and cold yet cheerful about them that I just cant shake and I adore them. It’s most definitely the soft piano that does it for me. Im a whore for soft piano music. We also have “Falling…For You??”, “Gentle” and “huggie wuggies” which PULL on my heart strings. The mellow music in this album is so well done and make me weep like a small child. DONT GET ME STARTED ON ETERNAL DREAM- I could write an entirely different essay just on that song alone and its relation to V’s entire character, however, I’m pretty sure that has already been done by many more qualified people than myself so you may go read those.

Then we’ve got the scary music in this album, which is a HUGE leap forward compared to the pilots album and the first album. Songs like “Solver Uzi”, “Heh, Nothing Personal Kid”, “SENTINEL 000D”, “…wow…ok THATS Pretty Dark” “literally just noise (your favourite)” and “Earth” are all phenomenal songs that give the spooks and scares. They are eerie and are drenched in anticipation for what is going to happen next. They give so much emphasis on the danger that these characters are in and can make you feel the same way. They freak you out and that is their job. Personal bias to the second album but it is phenomenal. I feel like people might not listen to the softer music in it which I totally understand, but I love it a lot.

Murder Drones Volume 3

And finally, we have the third album.

To start off, this shit goes incredibly hard with its scary stuff. They injected some sort of chemical into this album. I think it might be the chimes and whispers and church music. They added more eerie sounds in this album and I LOVE IT so much. The album starts STRONG with “When you forget to pray” which is so scary and gross and eerie, I love her. It fit the church scene so well and the song itself is disgustingly horrendous with its churchy vibes yet it makes them sound anything but holy. “Callback Ping”, “Absolute Solver” “…Hey guys, just wanted to say what’s up” and “……run” are TERRIFYING! nothing more can be said about those other than that. They scare the shit out of me and I can’t deal with that. Im pretty sure there is screaming in these ones as well, so that adds to the charm of spook. “Die Mad” is a bit spooky but it GOES SO HARD. UNREASONABLY HARD. But then it gets all soft and sad and makes me weep.

Speaking of weeping; “Hang Out?” and “Falling With You” MAKE ME WANNA KILL MYSELF. YHEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH AAGUUUUUGHHHH-

And finally, the kick ass shit in this album is probably what defines it from the others. Each album has eeriness to them or a few songs that get you pumped; but this album? We’ve got “Eternal DESTROYER” 3 different versions of “BITE ME”, “…Uzi and N: The Drone Killers”, and “YOU’RE FREAKIN’ GROUNDED” which all are such good fighting songs and get you hyped up. They are the songs that get YOU wanting to kick ass, and I love it.

Like the others, there is a few mellow songs in this album, but not a ton. “FOREVER”, “ur aight”, and “haha yea dude, that’s sick” are all very good songs since they take place during scenes of walking or talking, not really any big action. Despite that they are all chillish and are incredibly catchy, they all still carry that eerie feeling that something isn’t right and that’s perfect for the series since we continuously know that something isn’t right.

In conclusion, all 4 of the albums created for the Murder Drones series are incredible in different ways. They each have strengths as well as songs that stand out. I wouldn’t say that one is better than the other since they all have songs that fit the episodes that they premiered in. A.J Dispirito has been very consistent with the quality of their music produced throughout the shows run time, keeping a balance of action, eerie, sweet and scary. I think that music for this series may be difficult to make since there’s so many jumps from goofy to scary to cute and so on. You can definitely see Dispirito’s improvment in their work throughout the series, but every song they’ve created has been excellent.

[sperm-in-mcdonalds-sprite]

I empathize with Palestinians, not the so called "freedom fighters" gang raping and killing people. The innocents we see.

But i am so fucking tired of this, a cake page i followed that was run by an Arab woman keeps saying I'm so tired i cant do this. But she just keeps sharing so much outstandingly tone deaf posts.

Last week it was "you expect me to condone Hamas when not even the 'hostages' do"

This week she said that she cannot empathize with "the other side" because there is none, because the Israelis are enjoying the Renaissance movie (and of course she had to point out it was haram, a statement that doesn't matter to the Israeli people)

How could they enjoy themselves, how could they have a break from the terror and the fact the whole world is telling them they don't belong in their homeland. That they are colonizers to their home. How could they enjoy anything, since after all they are jews.

She kept saying how there is no proof of the attacks on October 7th, while also saying she blocks anyone with the smallest varying viewpoint. I cant disagree with the logic there, at least i see the carnage on both side though i plan on blocking anyone telling me to kill myself in the tags.

I keep seeing people say that its a slow genocide, completely ignoring the fact that none of this checks off any boxes on the genocide code. (Almost as if it isn't a genocide its just a war) I'm not going to praise the idf, but I'm sure as hell not going to act like they are perfect. All military forces are varying ranges of fucked up with people who use it as an excuse to harm anyone.

But don't act like it isn't the same on the other side, Hamas has been the ones harming every fucking person in their own state. They were voted in when they are just as bad as every fucking other terrorist group, they paraded the streets with the bodies of their opposition just like the paraded the streets with the women they murdered in Israel.

Just like they did with the hostages that people are bragging about looking so happy. You all say it like they weren't held captive while their family was waiting for them to cone home safe, like they don't look thinner and the bags under their eyes are deeper then ever. Like the little children didn't witness their families killed and the young girls only stopped talking after being held captive because who knows what the sick fucks did to them in their cells.

I find it so interesting how everyone is using their voice to call jews fucking colonizers. To call them white even, given so many were killed simply because they werent white enough. Sorry to the millions slaughtered in the camps, turns out you were really white all along.

I saw someone say "Bethlehem, Palestine" and nothing has made my blood boil more. Could you imagine the uproar if this was in Mecca, if the romans instead pushed them out of their homeland and when they finally returned the new settlers acted like their sacred ground wasnt theirs any longer.

But of course, when its the jews it doesnt matter.

They dont seem to acknowledge that if anything, the arabs are the colonizers and were for so much of history. Or that the whole state of Palestine was created because the Romans hated the jews so they pushed them out of their land and named it after their enemies (Philistines) and when europe named the land again it was after the short lived country. Once again stealing it from the ones who should have had it, but once they reclaimed their home they were the evil cruel people.

do you think the lost jewish souls greet their families in heaven, and their ancestors excitingly ask if they have their home back. If they are finally safe. If they can finally be somewhere without being killed.

One day people will realize too late, that once the jews are lost they cant come back. That the blood waged against the people who were just like us stained their hands.

I am not Christian or Jewish or anything, but i pray in whatever afterlife there is the Palestinian and Israeli souls that were lost are blowing bubbles in a land without pain, that the sun shines on them every morning. And they are greeted with hugs from the people around them

[human-adjacent]

episode 101 - another twist

- fair warning this is my favorite episode and also my least favorite episode and i am not okay. this post is mostly for myself

- intentionally listened to this on april fools day so i could pretend that michaels death was just a silly little prank

- i love all of nikolas lines she’s so cute. her little “hellooooo!!” to elias in the beginning, the way she keeps going “can i call u elias?” and says that she’s his good friend, her constantly insulting jon and saying that he’s rude and that he has bad skin, “ah, it’s downright uncanny!” “out with the old, in with… well, in with the you!” she’s such a good character

- MICHAEL☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ i love him sm and all of his lines are also so good. even tho the main reason i liked him initially was because of his voice he’s also just so fascinating and his, as jon would call it, “identity issues” are so interesting. i love how even after all this time and all that the distortion has done there still is some humanity left inside of it, some semblance of the original michael shelley still fighting to exist. i know he’s here to literally murder jon but the fact that michael willingly gave jon a statement despite it going against his nature and entire existence really just shows that he is not a complete monster. the distortion desires to kill but as a past institute employee michael understands jon’s desire for knowledge, and even though he wants to take his revenge on the archives, i also think he has some empathy for jon. michael was killed because of his own ignorance and naivety, and i think he can see himself in jon, who’s also suffering because of his own ignorance, being pushed around and manipulated by his boss just like michael was. the distortion wants to kill, but no matter how angry or upset he is, michael shelley does not, and unfortunately for jon the distortion is just the more powerful force in this conflict

- i have nooo idea what i just typed sorry i didn’t mean to ramble but michael makes me very insane. dont u dare reblog and try to disagree with me bc that was not a coherent thought to provoke discussion that was just me grieving

- en e way here’s a list of quotes from this episode that i just really enjoy (woah i just figured out how to make a bulleted list that’s crazy)

“The Eye watches, and the Stranger conceals, but me… I lie, Archivist.”

“I am the throat of delusion incarnate.”

“Being Michael stole the only purpose I have ever known.”

“The cramped casket sings loud, but not loud enough to drown out screaming.” (the cramped casket is a beautiful way to describe a coffin)

“How do you define the start of your being when in some ways you have always been?”

“the Magnus Institute – that ivory tower, keeping its prisoners ignorant in pursuit of… knowledge. [Giggles] A dungeon full of idiot watchers.” (giggles🤭)

“Am I evil, Archivist? Is a thing evil when it simply obeys its own nature?”

“The mind does not shatter, Archivist. It is soft and malleable. It bends and twists and returns to what it was, though what you see and feel may leave their mark upon it.”

“I cannot tell you the existential joys of truly… becoming. Of an entireness finally crossing the threshold into your self.”

“Even sharper than the joy of becoming is the agony of being opened and remade. To have your who torn bloody from your what, and another crudely lashed into its place.”

“My very existence tied to my pointlessness. Wearing my failure as the very fabric of my being.”

“He got… distracted. Let feelings that shouldn’t have been his overwhelm me.” ☹️

- ok i held a grudge against helen last time for killing michael but i will admit i think she’s cool😔 also i would’ve loved to see michael distortion in the early days of his uh transformation because i would assume he also felt lost and confused like helen did and i’m curious what he would’ve done

- don’t talk to me for at least 3-5 business days i need to mentally recover

[sevenrs]

3, 16, 22 👀

violence ask game ; OPEN

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

that one guy who called slugcat shipping a time paradox is literally so fucking funny, but real answers... does it have to be on tumblr? because i can think of two i hated that i saw on discord. everything ive seen on tumblr i've personally disagreed with but i wouldn't call any of it bad ANYWAYS DISCORD a pre-downpour headcanon i saw in the official server was something like. "moon is only nice to you because she suffered :) her whole experience humbled her. if she was still standing, she'd be as ruthless as pebbles" SUFFERING IS NEVER A POSITIVE FOR ANYONE! i get this is like. not a real person but to imply that suffering somehow makes someone a better person (and not a better character) is sickening. i don't see it now that dp came out but. gross gross gross and take number 2. someone went on a rant in a discord server im in about how pebbles literally did nothing wrong because everything that led up to his situation wasn't really his fault-- moon stopped him or suns gave him the pearl. whats next. it's slivers fault for dying too? YES its information that shouldnt have been given but that doesnt mean pebbles DIDNT use it irresponsibly. he did. he was killing moon. and she was rightfully trying to save herself

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

something my friend also dislikes but. really dont like it when people depict artificer as soft. that is a war criminal perpetuating the cycle of violence that hurt her in the first place. i understand maybe sentimental about children because its a nice thought but other then that. that is someone with cold logic to justify her ruthless violence. YES she is sympathetic. but jegus. that cat sees murder for the sake of murder as an ok thing and the soft interp of her feels wrong

also uh. different thing entirely but. sorry i really dont understand sunx x pebbles. suns is very much a mentor to him and thinking about them getting together is uncomfortable to me. its the power imbalance to me. suns x pebbles isnt problematic to me (as long as you dont like. romanticize the potential abuse! my friend has seen some of that and its gross) but its a bit umcomfy

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

anything i say about spirituality in rain world. im not religious and i honestly don't know the % of buddhists and hindus in this fandom but the inspirations are real and do matter and you cant brush karma and reincarnation off as a "game mechanic" because a lot of it does make sense in universe. all of it? i cannot explain all of it, either because it really doesn't make sense or i don't have the knowledge to yet. but literally being able to die and come back is not just a game mechanic! it's part of the lore!

[aronarchy]

you're asian. you should understand. do some research into what a tool of imperialism and colonialization and war, what a tool of racial fetishization """sex work"""" is.

Ah. And there it is.

-

You had quite a different tune just three asks ago:

youre 16. women which have been trafficked their entire childhoods, which have been sex slaves, which have been "sex workers" have more a right to speak than you, im sorry but you quite literally dont understand. i am nonwestern. i was poor.

stop with the fucking sex work shit because you think anything else is offensive. its privileged. its privileged western bullshit which is offensive as fuck and speaks over those of us who are Actually impacted by this god damn narrative.

Make up your mind. Am I evil privileged white-adjacent imperialist oppressor or poor fellow victim oppressed uwu femme of color? Ignorant invading outsider or alike comrade who’d understand your struggles? Person Deserving Of A Voice here or person who should shut up about this?

Do you think someone like me with my particular marginalizations and experiences would see your offer as kind generous benevolent helpful education, or as yet another example of the misogynistic and adultist (and racist) paternalism I have been subjected to throughout my life?

Do you think someone like me with my particular marginalizations and experiences am the type to buy into moral panic, to leave behind rigorous examination the moment the buzzwords come out, to cave to sex negativity the moment I am pressured with think of the poor women and think of the children? I’m a freak and a deviant and a degenerate, along with “(C )SA survivor” and “feminist of color.” I feel no loyalty to you and your crowd. I have nothing for the people who wished to tokenize me and then call for my murder the moment I stepped out of the Acceptable sj circle and I have no interest in repetitions of the same argument that has been used trying to justify my and my communities’ extermination (“if you say/do that you are literally offending/harming every single rape survivor”--“rape apologist/enabler” weaponized as a marker of an Immoral person to level violence and abuse against, and not just to indicate someone with specific sets of beliefs that actually enable/support rape)

“You’re Asian. You should understand.”

And then, not one sentence later:

“do some research into what a tool of imperialism and colonialization and war, what a tool of racial fetishization """sex work"""" is.”

Gotta pick one, anon. Asian, so should understand? Or privileged bourgeois white-adjacent westerner, so doesn’t understand, and should do their research?

All of the above which ties fairly well into one of the things I answered to your first ask: SWERFs’ habit of tokenizing the marginalized, treating us all as monoliths, then silencing us if we disagree or don’t fit the narrative, or immediately jumping to a “poor deluded brainwashed lost little lambs” narrative (which they of course are immune to, and can “save” us from), but also going back to tokenization and agreement if they find us useful. “Privileged” and “oppressed,” “imperialist” and “colonized” becoming idpol buzzwords instead of meaningful material class indicators.

I usually do slightly different discourses here; sw crim vs legalization vs decrim hasn’t really been one of my major topics of interest compared to others. I’ve only properly posted about it with my own commentary very few times over the past year, so I’m not exactly sure where this is coming from, but I have several guesses:

- yesterday on fedi I live-tweeted my reactions to a sex-negative TIRF piece I was reading and felt annoyed about. the portions I screenshotted might’ve mentioned sw a few times, though it wasn’t the focus of my critique, but maybe one of you people with a vendetta regarding my discoursing decided to follow me here? wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened

- yesterday, on my alt, I reblogged a post calling out a “transfeminist” for citing Esperanza Fonseca’s SWERF piece to a transfeminist reading list, and calling out her paternalistic sentiments in attempting to speak for Asians and the third world as a westerner (I put in some snarky tags but I didn’t think it would catch much notice)

- several months ago I posted a few quotes from Kate Zen Joy’s pro-decrim Medium essay responding to Esperanza’s, and reblogged it with a long personal rant about some unpleasant dynamics I have observed in swerf discourse and attempts by westerners and sympathizers at discussing Asian/Third World communism (the thing only received one note, a reblog from a friend who has since been suspended)

- on this blog I’ve also reblogged some other callouts of Esperanza and AF3IRM for their carceral proposals regarding prostitution and covert racist transmisogyny, and I reblogged one a few weeks ago with some snarky tag commentary (but no one has put any notes on that one either yet)

- two days ago some radfem decided to spread trafficking conspiracy theories in the notes of a leftist post. I responded, they doubled down and were rude to me, I checked their blog and saw several rightwing posts. I blocked them and posted the interaction to my blog. my post was not tagged with any swerf/radfem tags.

- a few months ago my mutual was arguing with some terfs about sw, and I decided to add my take to a few of the reblogs, and blocked everyone, and shortly after someone decided to traumadump in my inbox in graphic detail complete with adultist insults and other patronizing language, but no one else harassed me beyond that

- earlier this year some terf tagged me to accuse me of hating third-world cis WOC by derailing a post about femicide (I didn’t; it was someone else who’d had this URL before they deleted and I took it), and a lot of terfs reblogged the OG to dunk on the previous aronarchy, but no one else apart from her complained at me directly (apart from another vague anon a few months later)

I’m not even really active in arguing with people on Tumblr at all (anymore). Apart from that I’ve retweeted and posted a few things on Twitter but none of this is much at all compared to the people who devote their entire days and life’s work to defending decrim and arguing with swerfs, many of whom are (T)WOC and/or sex trafficking survivors, I’m really not sure what could’ve warranted or provoked four separate anonymous asks sent to me almost completely out of the blue to harass me. Callout post I haven’t noticed yet? Or just plain stalking? I don’t know.

Again, I challenge you to simply replace “sex work” with “____ work,” “____” for literally anything else, any other occupation, any other form of labor, any other form of labor which involves coercion or exploitation. I ask you to differentiate between “has been used as a tool of,” “has involved,” and “inherently equals/involves/requires.” Keep your rude condescension to yourself. Keep your bold fucking assumptions about my supposed lack of knowledge to yourself. Shut up about my privileged and marginalized demographic traits until you have an accurate map of which is which, and stop treating one like the other.

I would say “do your own research,” but I’m not really sure which recommended readings I would start with--my stance is based off several years of listening to various sex workers’ experiences and opinions here and there, and reading swerf/authcom pieces and interrogating them for their internal inconsistencies and spending time thinking about their arguments and other arguments (I only started actually writing them down very recently). And some things some discoursers/activists I admire have written, but I don’t have many of those saved, and some have been wiped from the internet. Mainly building off a larger theory base of materialism/anti-essentialism, several years of unpleasant experiences regarding radfem spaces and following the flow of their/your arguments to their roots, and a great deal of lived experience regarding christian fundamentalism and purity culture (and things from/for the perspective of someone like me don’t seem to be written down in longform very much at this point in time).

Like--I’m a very tired, very traumatized person, I stopped trying to hold puritan hands a long time ago, I don’t have the time or the spoons to entertain your bullshit and try to talk you through all of our disagreements all while you hurl insults at me, I’m really not interested and I’ve already wasted a lot of time I needed to do other things on writing out surface-level responses to all these today, I would really appreciate if you just fucked off from my blog forever and left me the fuck alone, and all your swerf friends with you.

Get out.

[afallenangelwhoheals]

i have always been someone who loves to research topics as much as i can, and when growing up as a jw, that was hard for me. i wanted to research things related to religion but was constantly told to "be careful" or to "only look at things on the website (jw dot org)". this led to me having a very isolated, and ignorant view of many religions, including ones that no longer exist or are at least rarely heard of.

as i was starting to question things, in my PIMQ(physically in, mentally questioning) phase, i learned about the book of enoch. i have not read any apocrypha all the way through, however i love to look at summaries and things and learn generally the belief systems there. i was surprised by the deep dive i could do, but due to still struggling with my guilt, i used research purely based on jw dot org. gnosticism, of course, is viewed as apostate literature and it is greatly mocked by jws on the website. i also began to mock it, but was also greatly intrigued by it anyways. fast forward to me now being a PIMO(mentally out), who has, for the last damn close to two years (if not that already) been trying to undo my toxic jw thinking and allowing myself to research whatever i wish, wherever i wish (with reputable sources) i feel as though i have come to a certain peace that i did not have before.

gnosticism is a very interesting thing, and the common beliefs among gnostics were cool and i respect them greatly, but i feel sad for those who were imprisoned or murdered because the majority of christians viewed it as evil.

that aside, i have also researched paganism, a little of buddhism, hinduism, and many more.

that peace that i mentioned, it's this feeling that i dont have to stick to a single religion. because ultimately, so many are the same just Different Fonts, and i feel like when humans believe but do not enforce, that is when we are happier. i want everyone to believe as they please, and for us all to exist together and share our knowledge and beliefs with each other. maybe we will learn things we didnt before, lessons we'd never known, and we exchange this information lovingly. i have hope that one day this will be far more possible, and i think looking to the future with optimism will encourage this to be more possible.

as for my own beliefs, (more under the cut, if you are interested)

i dont exactly believe in any one religion or set of specific beliefs. however here is a list of what i believe.

i think reincarnation is possible, that when we die that is not the end and perhaps we can create an afterlife that brings us the most peace. i think gods are possible but also not set in stone and if they do exist they're nothing we can comprehend until we are not restricted in a human body. they're definitely not dictators. i think magic is real but not like what we see on tv. i think kindness should be the priority in life. i dont think astrology brings demons into the house. i dont believe anyone is superior over another, but that we are all the same. i think politics can be used for good and we should fight for what's right, but be careful of being blindsided and try not to fall into a pit of hatred and spite. i think everyone should have the right and freedom over their own body and what they can do with it (abortion, gender affirming care, etc). Sexuality should be celebrated, not demonized.

and that's the basics! it's very very different from my old beliefs that i was raised to have. but im happy with them. and i am happy for anyone who agrees or even disagrees with them! i wish for anyone who has religious trauma/grew up in a strict religious environment but has now left, to explore what other belief systems are out there. not to convert, but to learn and to figure out what makes us happy and find peace <3 whether it's we pick things to believe from other religions and mix them together, or simply choose none of it all, which is a wonderful choice too. i dunno. ramble over haha

[bathroomtrapped]

you will probably murder me in a painful way for saying this (based on the anger you leashed out in the previous asks) but saw 1 should be a stand alone film all along. even leigh&james who wrote the first 3 films think like this because theyre not involved in making the rest 7(?) films.

im not sure what u mean by anger in the last one? i think i kind of just answered their question about the screenplay as thoroughly as i could. who knows im a know-it-all whos dogshit with tone so its entirely possible. the first, sure i see it. i think its p obvious by my acc that im passionate about saw lol. i could see the whole 'the idea of disagreeing w this statement is insane' or 'i have eyes' are a bit rude! but also consider, i exaggerate to prove a point and be a little silly. a little joke, even.

honestly im not sure why im being asked these questions? dont get me wrong, i definitely enjoy them. clearly, given how long my responses are. im not an authority on saw, but i AM someone who thinks hes right abt everything so i do have a lot of things to say about it. i never claimed to be polite or personable, which is why i tend not to post my opinions unprompted. not everyone agrees with me and i have some pretty controversial opinions but different opinions rarely bother me. though, mark x amanda is just kind of strange?

i know a few ppl who agree that the mark saga was not... the best. and people are upset that leighs wishes were ignored in order to continue making sequels. i know he wasnt too happy abt the extra tape and stuff, which makes sense bc this is their franchise, but if they were not happy with it... im not sure why they bankrolled the rest? theyre producers on all of them after the first iirc. leigh might not like hoffman, his bastard child, but he seems content with us enjoying it so thats fine by me. if they truly hated it, i dont think theyd attach their names to it. that just looks like an endorsement. i think theyre just content with us enjoying it, leighs never seen them and probably never will but that doesnt mean he thinks we shouldnt see them either

i think a lot of horror would benefit if people were able to do things like this with franchises after people are done with them. theyre not always for everyone but i think a lot of people are fond of horror sequels. theyre just kind of a genre staple and i like what the rest of the films contributed to the lore. imagine if every horror franchise had a more open patent, like great gatsby? i think itd allow for more creativity. horror as a genre has so much world building bc it has to justify sooo much suspension of disbelief which means theres usually a lot to work with! imagine michael myers as a free character. id love to see what other writers think of his whole "fear personified" thing. if we allow more leeway with horror and less criticism at its imperfection, i think ppld enjoy it more. theyre cunt, theyre camp, and theyre fun and i consider myself a guy who likes fun

my favorite saw film when i first got into it was saw v for about a month and a half. its basically been a year since then and i would sacrifice the other films in a heartbeat for saw 2004, but i think theyre neat

[libertarian-druid-in-greater-vt]

It's insane to me that some anime icon having weirdo, who's now blocked me, can accuse me of being someone else (for legalities sake I am New here) and make up something I didnt say, and then a swarm of rightoids can come out of the woodwork with anon hate again. At least you're being reasonable...

But no, your situation doesn't give more weight to anything cause anecdotes are rarely useful or relevant when giving ones opinions on public policy, especially regarding ones rights to ones own body and pregnancy from you, a man. Framing removing a brainless clump of cells as "murder" is pretty christian, to my mind, at least culturally anyway. Since most people who study the human body don't consider it murder. But thats neither here or there rn.

originally, I was speaking to a maga delulu cultist, who finds it ok to force other women to have children against their will, but shrieked and started a whole stink when I said that they should face the circumstances they so easily and casually were willing to force, legislatively, on others. Hypocrisy. From christians? par for the course, lol.

If I had been arguing at the time with someone against say, what I consider common sense gun control, I would have said "I hope you have to live through a shooting event that makes you reconsider". Or on a different track- I would hope some anti-public transit person, Id wish them nothing but traffic and exhaust fumes, because the empathy free dont realize they could be wrong or change their minds until something effects them personally.

And Im not offended when someone says to me "I hope your support for democratic socialism gets you (insert rightoid holocaust fantasy about evil denmark style socialism)" because I understand thats just words on a screen, not a "wish" or a "threat" lol. Could my wording have been better originally? Probably? Who knows or cares though?

This is only still going on cause some rightoids and neonazis keep bringing it up so they can pretend to be offended by me, as fascists do, to ignore reality. And also to pretend to defend a white chick and her virtue against a mouthy jew who sources stuff. Its all clownery and mostly from maga cultists 😂.

I can appreciate you being reasonable about it though, which is why I bothered to reply at all. Sorry for the rambling.

Okay, this is a long one, so I'm gonna kinda break it up a bit for ease of reading.

Thank you for being reasonable in return, just because we disagree doesn't mean we can't be civil, which is a thought process I wish both sides of the aisle would be more open to. There are admittedly people on both sides that agree with that sentiment, but not nearly enough.

My point is that it's still a life, snuffing out innocent life will always be murder to me, whether it's a year old, a decade old, a century old, or a second old. Every life has inherent value so long as it retains innocence. I appreciate the honesty in saying that it's because I'm a man and that your original points about rape and Christianity were more or less just repeating talking points (I know that's going to come off as sarcasm, but I assure you it isn't).

I don't tend to care much for the religious portion of the issue, if you're having unprotected sex, there can be consequences. One of those consequences can be impregnation. I can agree that being forced to carry the child of your rapist is wrong, I don't believe it should be forced, so much as deregulation of adoption so that abortion isn't the go-to solution. I think you can probably agree that despite the circumstances, the child is still innocent of their father's crimes. So while I wouldn't force it upon anyone, I would say it would be wrong to end a pregnancy, and continue to disagree with that portion of the decision. If being brainless is what makes it okay to you, then it stands to reason that upon the third gestational week, abortion should be off the table, as that's when brain tissue begins to develop. If not, feel free to correct me.

Yeah, I can agree that the phrasing could have been better, it comes off like you're wishing pro-life people would get raped in the post. And honestly, the modification to the scenarios you present isn't much better. But it also doesn't help the situation that I'm in full support of all natural rights, self defense being one of those. I actually offer to teach anyone how to shoot in a defensive manner, especially my Romani "family" and Jewish folks given the situations regarding those groups internationally and here in the US. That said, if you're more comfortable having to look your attacker in the eye while bludgeoning or stabbing them in defense, then more power to you, I can almost relate. As far as public transit goes, I support opening the market to private competition, partially to lower costs and partially to improve the services. I'd also avoid calling them "empathy free" just because they disagree. I assure you, in most cases, they're not sociopaths.

My issues with socialism arise from family history, and how many times socialist economies have failed/converted to capitalist ones. While it makes tyranny an easier goal to achieve, that's less of an inherent worry for me than the fact that it seems to fail so often. I'd hope you'd consider that it's largely only a good system on paper given how things actually work, but your views are yours to hold, and possibly change, on your own.

Can you honestly say that the people arguing against (what they view as) murder (to which you disagree) are fascists though? Is it possible that they simply don't want to have a society in which the murder of children is acceptable? I don't think the government should regulate it, so much as it should be deregulating alternatives such as adoption. If an adoptive parent wants to help take care of the child as it is developing in the womb, and then raise said child, I see no harm in that. However, there is already a wait list for adoptions, and not really much going into helping to shorten that wait. If the government should be doing anything that would actively use tax dollars, it should go towards helping out adoptions and adoptees. As someone who was adopted (I know, I've got a whole lot of skin in this) it generally works out for the best for all involved parties. That said, I understand that "generally" is different than "always" and the concern some have if it's not something with a 100% success rate. Most folks are a lot less willing to take risks than they were 20, 30, 50 years ago.

If you're interested in continuing the conversation, or if I skipped something you feel is relevant, my dms are open, asks are open, and of course, reblogs will remain available.

I ask that you use reblogs if any are applicable, but won't demand it. Just helps to keep things organized.

[nonbinarygamzee]

equius definitely has a lot of issues with how he treats people ( *gestures also to aradia, etc* ), but the way he died kind of comes across as more like letting him have some fun one last time before putting him down like the puppet said to do than very effective revenge. (either way, not sure this was really a good way to play out a murder scene between two kids:S)

arguably it did more to harm gamzee than equius, since now they gotta deal with being even more socially isolated, and getting chased into hiding in the vents and/or locked in a fridge, all because a guy was too into getting choked. meanwhile, equius gets to bother a bunch of nepeta and aradiabot ghosts

sure, gamzee doesn't have to deal with him on the meteor anymore, but they probably could've also accomplished that by going "with the powers invested in me as a subjuggulator or whatever, i order you to never speak to me or pull that weird shit with anybody else again. go sit in your room for 100 sweeps. bye" and then nepeta doesn't have to get traumatized and dead

i'm not sure if gamzee's actually bothered by equius's weird shit, though? they talked to each other on a daily basis and it didn't seem to occur to gamzee to ignore his messages or tell him to cut it out. is it like a "well i don't really return his feelings, but we all gotta get a kismesis someday" thing?

metatextually, i think their dynamic and the culmination of it in murderstuck might be reflective of hussie's (at least then, circa act 5?) attitudes about mlm, in a similar way to gamzee kissing tavros's head and expressing an interest in doing the same to dave's. attraction from one boy to another is treated as gross and ridiculous, esp. with one of the parties racialized as they are. see also bro strider's handcuffed mr t and chuck norris puppets

i mean i dont entirely disagree, i think there was not canon intention of Equius' death being a revenge narrative. that's why it's in perenthesis and is a very short section, i was joking more than anything on that particular post. though it is how i like to read it. for uh. reasons.

and whether it was really effective as revenge imo just isnt relevent. there was far too much happening, and too much awareness on gamzee's end regarding the lot of them being characters/knowing what was 'destined' to go down that i think there is not much reason to... not? when your only friend is dead and basically everyone else left in the world has in no uncertain terms basically spent every conversation youve ever had with them telling you they hate you and think youre stupid and a failure.

similarly i think gamzees feelings about equius and what he does, especially what we gleam about this PRIOR to murderetuck, arent actually all that relevent because gamzee doesnt "mind" any of the abuses thrown their way up to that point. there are times during the convos with equius that gamzee is imo pretty explicitly uncomfortable (lots of 'UuUhHhHh's, their little 'woah what' when equius tell gamzee to use people for gratification, etc.) but gamzee's whole Thing is passivity and not thinking about stuff that upsets them.

and wrt the homophobia, youre absolutely spot on. gamzee is the first troll to actually show explicit mlm attraction, the first character in general to do so without it being a joke in context, i believe. trolls dont have a concept of heterosexuality but metatextually theyre still expected to enact and uphold it, and punished for not doing so.

[thebluespirit83]

debunking pro-snape/anti-james arguments and putting it on the internet because clearly i hate myself. buckle up. this is gonna be a VERY long post. im ready for the amount of hate i will get; im willing to take one for the team. 

1. james forced lily into dating/marrying/etc him 

this literally never happened? because its almost as if lily is her own person who is able to stand up for herself-

“I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,” said Lily.

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.

She turned on her heel and hurried away [from james]. 

-and so she would not allow someone to walk all over her. its almost as if james (canonically) matured as a person, and she appreciated this, realised he was a good person and got feelings for him? because james’ only negative traits were that he was conceited and a show off. people are able to mature and grow from these things! james did this! he did not ‘force’ lily to go out with him!

2. james and the other marauders bullied snape

you know what, i cant even disagree with this one. you’re right - they did bully him. but lets look a little bit at the context. 

sirius and james were both upper class, naive white rich boys. they are idiots. they were both stupid smart teenagers!! they were popular! and while this does not excuse the gross bullying snape was subject to-

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape’s mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him

Several people watching laughed; Snape was clearly unpopular ... Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

-it (unfortunately) makes sense with context. james and sirius also stopped bullying people, and even expressed discomfort/regret with the way they acted-

“I’m not proud of it,” said Sirius quickly.

“Of course he was a bit of an idiot!” said Sirius bracingly, “we were all idiots!

[sirius talking to remus] you made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes

A lot of people are idiots at the age of fifteen. He grew out of it.

-when they were younger! i’d also like to point out these little lines i noticed when i was finding quotes for my argument which snape stans like to ignore:

James and Snape hated each other from the moment they set eyes on each other

I mean, he [snape] never lost an opportunity to curse James

there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James’s face, spattering his robes with blood

wow, look at that. the hate they felt for each other was mutual! snape also jinxed james! but oh wait - james was the one who matured! snape was the one who bullied his son twenty years later because he looked like james! 

3. snape didnt abuse the kids at hogwarts 

here’s a real argument i saw when looking through some pro-snape posts: ‘snape wasn’t an abuser, because abusers don’t let their victims retaliate, but snape did let the kids talk back to him’

what. the. fuck?! 

this is the dictionary.com definition of abuse: ‘to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way’ or ‘to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about’. i’m pretty sure snape did both of these things-

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!”

“So,” said Snape, gripping Harry’s arm so tightly Harry’s hand was starting to feel numb.

Snape threw Harry from him with all his might.

[hermione’s teeth]  "I see no difference."

‘Idiot boy!’ snarled Snape [at neville]

-on multiple occasions. i’d also like to remind you guys that neville’s worst fear is SNAPE?! his TEACHER, a figure that is supposed to be there for emotional and educational support is his worst fear in this entire world?! above the woman who drove his parents to insanity? over failure, over his abusive grandmother, over everything? his teacher? and for the pro-snaper that used this quote-

Nearly everyone laughed. Even Neville grinned apologetically.

-to claim that it was a joke, it isn’t a joke. because when snape came out of that cupboard, he was terrified. yes, it’s an embarrassing thing to have as your boggart, but the point is is that it is. he is terrified of that man. 

4. james only joined the order because his wife was a muggleborn and he ‘had to’

this is just factually incorrect. james had been sticking up for muggleborn rights since he was in school, far before he started dating or even became friends with lily: 

“Apologize to Evans!” James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

“I’d NEVER call you a - you-know-what!”

so this is literally not true!! plus, at least he did join the order, whatever his reasons where (which were canonically good). snape didnt join the order. snape was friends with someone who suffered discrimination in society, and instead of using his privilege to help her and support her, he joined a group that was set on murdering people like her. when james had a friend who underwent oppression (remus/lycanthropy) you know what he did? he illegally became an animagus. 

5. snape had to be a death eater to survive at hogwarts as he roomed with blood supremacists

this is the shittiest excuse i have ever seen in my entire life. as a poc, this comment really reminds me of the argument ‘i was raised in a racist white household! i cant control my beliefs!’

you can always control your beliefs. i understand not going on big rants about blood inequality in front of a bunch of supremacists, and i understand wanting to blend and fit in (especially because he was unpopular and needed the support the slytherin boys provided), but i will never understand then becoming an active member of the group yourself. he got the dark mark. he helped voldemort. he was a death eater, and a proud one at that! no-one forced him to join. this argument literally makes my blood boil. 

6. snape had a lot of trauma from being raised in an abusive household

okay? so did sirius. so did neville. luna was bullied at school, just like snape. harry lived in an abusive household. did any of those people bully children? did any of those people join a blood supremacist group? and dont get me wrong, im not calling any of these people perfect - they all had a lot of flaws - but none of them hurt another people to the extreme that snape did. 

7. snape saved the trio’s lives many times

this is the absolute bare minimum. ‘oh wow, he didnt let harry die!! what a king! he should be respected and praised! we should excuse all of his other actions because he didnt let people die <3′ 

8. snape is not a perfect person, he also did good that many people overlook

you’re right, snape did do some good things in his life. but unfortunately, for me and many others, doing a couple of good things doesnt excuse all of the shitty, abusive things he did too. we’re not ignoring them - we just dont think they’re good enough reasons to forgive him. 

‘but james and sirius hurt others! you ignore all the bad things they did in favour of the good!’ you do the same thing with snape, first of all. second, they did a lot of good stuff. james’ and sirius’ only crimes were being annoying. for being a bit of a dick, conceited, knew they were hot and were a bit entitled. while these things are annoying as fuck, they were also stupid teens that eventually grew out of their behaviour and became better people. not perfect! better. while snape just stayed bitter at the marauders, long after their deaths, and even took his anger out on an innocent child. 

9. people only hate snape because he was poc and queer coded

as a poc and queer person, please stop. this is a very bad excuse. being poc and queer (which im pretty sure he isnt, but anyway) doesnt excuse you from your actions. plus, a huge amount of harry potter readers are poc and lgbtq. why would they hate snape for those reasons?! 

so thats all i got for today. im not gonna go into a deep snily/jily thing because i literally cannot be bothered. anyway im done. i need to go revise, i’ve already spent long enough on this. 

[lordiavoloremade]

i see you posting about the heard v depp case but honestly i have no idea what happened(?) can you tell me what's going on? (very briefly, no need to say the whole deal if you don't feel like it) i don't even know who's in the wrong now. all i know is that people who are making memes out of this are dumb

this is going to be really short (and i HIGHLY suggest checking out the original sources and deciding for yourself because even if you trust me i am just a stranger on the internet and have my own biases, so dont take everything i say as gospel) this is pretty quickly summed up and i may have missed somethings, so i highly reccomend getting more than just my voice as a source. also if you or any of my followers just want to ignore this i totally understand and respect that, and this post is not to put pressure on anyone to post about my views on the case, just to inform those who would like to hear.

in 2016 amber heard wrote an article about her experiences w dv and did not name depp but it was assumed. she had mass support in the beginning and this was right before the start of the metoo movement. flash forward to now where depp has chosen to publically engage in a defamation trial (he purposefully went to virginia to do this case, in order for it to be livestreamed. its pretty impossible to win a case as a public figure for defamation, so his goal here isnt to get a verdict its to destroy heard and further tramuatize her in what is known as litigation abuse). now because people have been looking for an excuse to not believe metoo for a while, everyone and their mother has hoped onto johnny depps dick despite all of the evidence supporting all of amber heards claims. this is a guy who did blackface in the 2010s, and sent texts to his friend saying he wanted to murder and r*pe heards dead body. yet people believe that amber heard is a "narccisisitic" (people with cluster b mental illnesses are more likely to be hurt by others but whatever) female abuser and depp is their poor innocent male victim. if you try to say he isnt a victim of dv and is the perpetrator people tell you youre not supporting male victims even though he is not a victim (abusers will often use the "you were the abuser" tactic). most people who are on depps side are getting their information from youtubers (who have no qualifications, this INCLUDES people who are talking about body language like its a science, its not) and tiktoks (even worse). if you look at the evidence (i will link an article and a video below) all of it shows heard is innocent, and all shes guilty of is fighting back when she was being physically attacked. to make it worse depps fans have been attacking anyone (i guarentee you ill get more depp anons after this) who disagrees with the notion that depp is an abuser. his team is using unjust tactics like withess intimidation, to sway things to their side. as a victim of abuse i feel really passionately and horrifed by what i am seeing so thats why i post so much about it.

overall people just want another gabby petito. a pretty thin young dead white woman, because if youre anything else than the world doesnt see you as the victim.

sources:

https://youtu.be/Ec7o2uJeFDE

https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2022/05/modern-celebrity-fandom-johnny-depp-amber-heard-trial/629887/

blogs that im following regarding this case:

@justiceamberheard @valkyriesexual @bisexualbonnet

you can also check out my "depp heard case /" tag which has everything ive rbd so far. just make sure youre on my blog and click the tag below this post to get there.

[creepy-bi-day]

Greetings and salutations, hope I don’t bother you to much, hell, not even sure if matchups are open. May I please have a romantic matchup for creepypasta and/or homestuck? I’m not sure if you do two, otherwise just creepypasta. You can make it nsfw if you’d like. My pronouns are They/Them and I’m pansexual with a preference to masculinity. My Myers Briggs type is INFJ and Enneagram type is 4. My star sign is Taurus, moon sign is Gemini. Im about 4’11..not to happy about it. I’m a digital art major, and I’m rather introverted, and can be considered not a people person. Because of me dressing in all black and taking a liking to gruesome and morbid things like slashers and murder documentaries. I also like to visit abandoned hospitals and houses just for fun, along with playing quite a few escape rooms. A friend of mine even likes to call me "discount vomitboyx". I’ve also been called "doomer boy kinnie", and "Remake of Daria" before. I’ve come to the conclusion I just scare people off. In reality, I’m intimidated by everyone around me and find it hard to start conversing, which may or may not come off as rude to people. When I finally become comfortable with someone I start to become really sarcastic and joke around with them with witty banter. Most of my humor comes off really insulting, but I’ll apologize and say it’s a joke if it becomes a problem. Lots of people don’t like me or stay away from me because of my rude behavior. I’m not good with overly sensitive or overly annoying people at all because of that, and I can’t stand kids. Idiocy can get on my nerves too sometimes. I’m a huge animal person though. I have my moments where I can get really feisty, or very quiet and closed off. I’m the type of person that has lots of opinions on things but I keep them to myself and bottle them up. If pushed far enough I’ll become unforgiving, and aggressive. Especially with the types mentioned above. I find the most comfort in just being in my room drawing, reading and or listening to music ( My Chemical Romance, Arch Enemy, MurderDolls, Slipknot, Get Scared, sometimes Will Wood, Jazmin Bean or Mother Mother, etc. ), or even occasionally gaming on my switch or read and talk about Greek mythology. I’m a plushie maniac and when I fall asleep you can always see me cuddled up to one of them. I find it because I’m really touch starved. I’m guilty of being very submissive, and I suffer from asperger syndrome, depression and anxiety. I have small tics, but they only flare when I’m stressed or mad. I’ve also been developing a eating disorder. On a better note, a few of my kinks; choking, being tied up, hair pulling, brat taming, edging, knife play or any weapons in general, and maybe degrading. All of those are receiving by the by. If you do get to this, thanks for your time. - inferior anon

No problem!!

I’m going to attempt to get through some stuff in my inbox today finally. And maybe some writing too! Quotev here I come

Regardless, I hope you dont mind I did just creepypasta!

For Creepypasta I match you with:

Cody Rogers! (XVirus!)

He gets irritated with idiocy, too. Especially when it’s pure ignorance

He finds the rudeness kind of funny, and sees a lot of himself in you

As for kids, thats something you guys probably disagree on

The boy has a breeding kind smh

He loves when you brat out

Makes it that much more fun to put you in your place.

He loves all the different parts to your personality, and makes it his goal to get you to open up

Surprisingly, he likes it when you lash out at him, because that means he gets to learn more

Probably ties to make you a stuffed animal at some point

I hope you dont mind that he goes on tangents sometimes, especially regarding what he calls his ‘weekly interest’

Sometimes it’s a new strain of bacteria

Once it was FNAF

He may pick on you and tease you, but God help anyone else who tries

He loves seeing you squirm, though

Hope youre an exhibitionist, too

His favorite ‘game’ is to sink a vibrator inside you and just go shopping or take you out to dinner

Any snide comment is punished with him turning the vibrator either all the way up or down to an unbearable level

Has 1000000% carved his name into your thigh (with consent of course)

Please let him chase you through the woods, it really gets him off

Overall? 10/10 best boy

[ssamie]

twelve. “the moon looks beautiful tonight, doesn’t it?”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide

masterlist.         suicide freak!

"kenma just this once please!!" y/n pleaded with a frown

"literally why?" kenma grumbled back.

they were currently seated by the stairway of the second-year building, five minutes away from being late to their next class, which was history. "because it's fun!" she reasoned "besides, you don't even listen to the lesson, you just play games under your desk" 

"yeah, but it's not considered skipping classes" kenma sighed 

"c'mon kenma, live a little!" she chuckled "then you can die with me afterwards." 

kenma sighed but nodded in reluctance "fine, but please don't kill me" he said with a sigh

"huh? then how are we supposed to die?"

"the point is we're not going to."

after a little bit more convincing, and a very troublesome escape from the school grounds, they were finally on their way off. the pair was walking towards the same riverbank kenma found her on after disappearing

"ah, isn't this nice, kenma-kun?" she said with a content sigh. she was holding a box of apple pie, while kenma chomps on a slice. "the air is nice, the apple pie is nice, the bridge is kinda nice" she hummed

"did you know, this is where i found atsushi-kun on the brink of death from starvation!" she exclaimed with a bright smile 

"i- what?" 

"yes, that's right" she said "ah, good times~" 

"i don't think you should consider that a good time" kenma sweat dropped "also, what's with you lately?" kenma asks her 

"hm? what do you mean?" she responded with a raised brow "you've been kinda.. tamed?" he muttered as more of a question than a statement "like, usually your attempts would be more bizarre." he said with a shrug 

kenma then reached out to grab another slice of the apple pie. that is, until his whole body shuddered. he looked up at her, looking like a shaken up kitten as he immediately shook his head. 

"i don't mean that i want you to start going all crazy again!" he shrieked 

she simply laughed, shaking her head as she sat down on the ground "well then i guess you're fulfilling your promise of keeping me alive, huh?" she mused 

kenma blinked at her words and meekly nodded, a faint smile ghosting his lips "i guess.." he replied "anyways, what are we doing here?" he asks as he takes a seat next to her

"were here to slack off" she responded with a nonchalant grin "work is like, really stressful" she said with an exaggerated sigh 

kenma simply furrowed his brows as he sent her a questioning look "but atsushi said you haven't done anything in like a week-" 

"anyways, kenma." she cut him off "in return of making you skip class, i'll share some of my incredibly utile knowledge to you!" she announced cockily 

"i don't think i need it.. nor do i want it" kenma deadpanned 

"well, i'm gonna tell you anyways" 

"but first, let me beat this level" she said with a cheeky grin as she snatches his PSP from his pocket. as she began to play, kenma simply watched her fingers click the buttons, silently watching as he nibbled on the apple pie 

"now, as i was saying.." she muttered "my knowledge consists of the mafia and their history.." 

"that's kind of relevant right?" she beamed with a small smile 

"no, not really." 

"alright! well, the mafia is kind of fun" she started out 

"im gonna have to disagree." kenma sighed "it's the mafia, why would it be fun?" 

"also, why are we talking about this anyway?" he rolled his eyes playfully at her 

"because its literally all i know about" she chuckled "unless you wanna hear about how to dispose of dead bodies." 

"no." 

"okay. well, in this same spot we're sitting on, there have been at least.. like, maybe one or ten murders?" she cooed out with a small smile. kenma looked at her, face scrunching up as he picked himself up from the ground, holding his apple pie tightly as he walked away 

"goodbye." 

she laughed loudly as she watched him walk away, eyes darting from between the boy and the PSP in her hands "wait! kenma, im kidding!" she yelled out 

"well, im actually not, but.. COME BACK!" 

kenma sighed, looking back only to find her shuffling around with the device in her hands as she screams about losing. 

"kenma you made me lose!" she groaned out. the pudding head simply sighed as he trudged back to her with an unamused look on his face 

"well, whatever" she shrugged it off. she placed the PSP back in his pocket as she jumped up from the ground "you know what we should do?" she mused "we should steal a car and have a road trip!" 

"no! are you crazy?" kenma let out an exasperated sigh 

"i dunno about crazy, but i do know that kunikida-kun has a car and.." she trailed of with a suggesting smirk 

(he prolly doesn't have a car i think, but go along w it 😋) 

"were not gonna steal a car just to go on a road trip." kenma said to her 

"really? i don't think that's the right response, kenma" she slumped out defeatedly 

"we are NOT gonna steal a fucking car-" 

"YOU STOLE THE FUCKING CAR?!" kenma rubbed his temples in distress as she stood proudly before him, holding the car keys with a grin 

"yep!" 

it has been fifteen minutes since she's disappeared, only to come back to announce that she had carnapped kunikida 

"y/n, im pretty sure this is illegal." kenma sighed tiredly "do you even know how to drive?" he asked 

"of course!" she said with an offended scoff "well..last time i drived, it ended in a crash" she mumbled sheepishly "but that's not gonna happen, i promise!" 

kenma looked at her up and down, before shaking his head. "that doesn't sound very promising.." 

"cmon, live a little!" she exclaimed as she unlocked the car doors 

"i won't be able to if i die in a car crash, you understand that right?" 

"that's even better!" 

although despite his disputes, kenma ended up joining her anyways. now, he's seated in the passenger seat while y/n drives the car. music was softly playing through the speakers, though it was getting drowned out by kunikida's yelling, which was emitting through her phone

"oi! you bandage-covered brat, where the hell is my car?!" kunikida exclaimed 

"stop with the names, kunikida-kun!" she whined out "and how dare you accuse me of such!" she exclaimed with a dramatic cry 

kenma simply deadpanned at her as kunikida let out a deep breath from the other line 

"i have very right to accuse you becauSE RANPO TOLD ME IN EXCHANGE OF A CHOCOLATE BAR!" 

"AGH! BUT I MADE HIM PINKY PROMISE NOT TO SAY IN EXCHANGE OF A CHOCOLATE BAR TOO!" 

she fake cried as kunikida continued on scolding her through the phone "now, now, kunikida-kun~" she cooed out "dont go screaming a lot, or else your vocal system gets messed up" she warned "they say you can cough your throat out." 

"you- wait really?" kunikida asked in wonder

"i dunno" she responded nonchalantly 

"STOP RIDICULING ME, BASTARD!" he exclaimed 

"whatever.. there better not be any scratches or dents or i'll kill you myself" it was all he said before hanging up

she pocketed her phone and looked over at kenma, sending him a smile "that went well, won't you say so?" 

"50/50" kenma responded "anyways, where are we going?" he asked her 

"i don't know kenma, i've never done this before" she laughed softly "let's just drive around and stop for food once in a while" she said "let's just talk! preferably about our double suicide" 

kenma laughed at her antics and nodded "okay, i'd like that." 

in the end, they ended up roaming around the city. at some point they stopped by a wine shop to buy all of chuuya's favourite wine just to mess with him

chuuya did in fact come into the shop minutes later and had a fit. 

by the time the sky got darker, kenma suggested going to a mcdonald's for some fries. but sadly, it ended with y/n flirting with the female cashiers, so he had to drag her away. they even stopped by a cliff to 'stargaze' but it ended with y/n trying to make them fall to their deaths, so that ended quite quickly. 

now, they were back in the usual restaurant the agency goes to, having a light dinner. 

"so, kenma-kun, how was our road trip?" she cooed out 

"it was chaotic." he responded "but it was very fun, thanks for that y/n" he said with a smile 

she smiled cockily as she sipped on her coffee, letting out a small chuckle as she does so. "heh, let's just hope kunikida-kun won't notice the scratches on his car" 

kenma shifted nervously in his seat as he noticed kunikida leaning on the back of her seat, as well as atsushi listening in on their conversation. 

"um y/n.." he said nervously, slyly pointing behind her, though she seemed to ignore him anyways 

she snickered under her breath as she continued to talk. "there's so many scratches on the side! and-" she was cut off by kunikida's fist making contact with the side of her head, resulting in her falling off the seat

"y/n-san?!" atsushi called out with widened eyes 

"what did you say, brat?" kunikida asked in a low tone as his tall figure loomed over her 

"a-ah! what did i say?" she mused "i don't think i said anything, kunikida-kun! you must be hearing things!" she laughed sheepishly as she stood up straight once again "and why are you interrupting our dinner, hm?" she asked him 

"shouldn't you be at work? tsk tsk tsk" she clisked her tounge as she shook her head disappointedly 

kenma and atsushi froze in fear as kunikida seemed to have grew angrier by the second. veins popped out of his temple from agitation as he started strangling her, all while she still had that dumb and taunting smile on her face 

"and who gave you, the poster child for sloth and irresponsibility, the right to say that to me?!" he yelled 

"kunikida-san! don't kill her!" atsushi yelled out in panic "why not?! that's exactly what she wants!" kunikida exclaimed 

"ehehehe- AGH!" she coughed out, wheezing slightly as he shook her around 

after a quick minute of calming down, y/n was now back in her seat, facing kenma who was talking about a game he was currently playing "and this one is um- um.." kenma cut himself off, feeling himself grow anxious 

his cat-like eyes look up to meet kunikida looking at him like a disappointed father "is something wrong?" he asked quietly 

"i had trust in you, brat." kunikida said "i thought you were sensible enough to keep the maniac grounded." 

"buT INSTEAD YOU BOTH HAD YOUR FUN CRASHING MY CAR AROUND-" 

kunikida was cut short as y/n slammed her hand on his face and pushed him away with an innocent smile "now, now, kunikida-kun~" she cooed "kenma was talking about his new game, don't interrupt him!" she scolded him 

"i don't care, you're paying me back" he said as he sent her a pointed glare. she simply laughed carelessly at that statement. though her laughter abruptly died down as she spun around to face atsushi. 

"atsushi." she called out 

"y-yeah?" atsushi replied hesitantly 

"as your senior, i command you to pay the cost!" she exclaimed 

"no! also, im older than you!" atsushi yelled at her 

"oya~" she cooed tauntingly at him "but aren't i the one that saved your dying self months ago?!" 

"and to think i believed we had a special bond" she sulked 

"but y/n-san!!" atsushi panicked "I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY!!" 

"work it out~" she cooed as she ushered kenma out of the restaurant "we'll be going now~" 

"are you really making me pay?!" atsushi shrieked 

"bye-bye~" 

"so what do you wanna do to end the night?" she asked him 

they were currently walking around, basking in the moonlight while kenma talks himself up in his mind  "um.. can we go back to the riverbank? like, by the bridge..?" he muttered quietly 

"why? its already so late" she said 

"just- can we just go?" he pleaded "... please?" 

she looked at him and smiled, nodding along silently to his request. the walk to the bridge was quick and quiet. no one was speaking a word, only y/n humming under her breath and the sounds of cars passing by

the whole time, kenma was just screaming in his mind. 

he was pondering over kuroo's oh-so-wise words. the suggestion to confess to her sounded more simpler at the moment. he's been preparing for it the whole day. but now that it was actually happening, he was honestly just considering jumping into oncoming traffic

"were here." she announced 

kenma jolted, sporting a confused expression as he looked around their surroundings 

"it seems you've been so lost in thought that you couldn't even tell we've arrived" she chuckled "so, what's on your mind, kenma?" 

he didn't answer but simply watched her from his peripheral vision. she leaned on the metal railings, resting her hands on the bars as she looked down at the flowing water 

the only light source they had was the moon, and the street lights littered around the bridge 

"um.. it's just that-" he cut himself off with a deep breath 

"that..?" she urged him further 

"i- um-" he stammered nervously 

kenma inhaled deeply through his nose before sighing. "i can't do this." he muttered 

"what is it?" she asked worriedly "are you okay??" 

"is it cause you wanna die with me? are you agreeing to the double-" 

"t-thE MOON LOOKS BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT DOESN'T IT?!" 

"i- why are you screaming?" 

"fuck it. i like you, okay?" 

[memoriashell]

with age comes wisdom ( or at the very least, entirely unneccessary celebrations )

Characters /  Pairing: Fukawa Touko / Naegi Komaru ( focused ), Syo / Komaru, Warriors of Hope

crossposted on ao3

Notes: happy @tokomaruweek week everyone!! i love these funky wlw so i am going to try and have some stuff up this week, but i probably won’t manage to do the whole week / i'll go back to do the ones i miss afterwards? we’ll see.

for today i decided to combine the birthdays + warriors of hope prompts.

i’m also just ignoring canon’s timeline bc god knows i did not want to figure out that bs sorry dr3 ily but i dont love you that much just know it is somewhere post sdr2 / pre dr3 probably?

i also use they/them for syo ( nonbinary hc ) and while there aren’t any specific trauma mentions, given the group of characters this revolves around, there’s refrences to the fact they have shit lives. and some lighthearted murder jokes and self-deprication?

Summary: nothing says happy birthday quite like babysitting her ( favorite ) group of brats

It’s just her luck that this would happen— a coincidence for sure, but that doesn’t make Touko any happier about the whole thing.

This is the situation: they don’t usually see the ( former ) Warriors of Hope much. The kids stay on their side of Towa, and her and Komaru tend to stick closer to the adults. The adults are the ones that need to be kept under supervision, in her opinion. Not that the kids are blameless, but is there much reasoning with brainwashed kids? No. Of course not. Are the adults also practically brainwashed and hard to reason with. Yes. Would this all be easier if Future Foundation was involved? Yes. Yes it would, but for obvious reasons they are not ( they have all agreed to omit some information from public record for the sake of those involved, and right now Naegi’s stunt with the Remnants have Future Foundation’s attention away from them ).

Sometimes Komaru takes some of the things that they get over to the kids because things are rough enough as it is, and Syo will go with her because they can keep the Monokuma off their tracks better. Or you know, because Syo is generally more helpful to Komaru when it comes to things like that. She’s not jealous.

Allegedly— Touko does not know this for a fact herself since she hadn’t been fronting, and only learns this second hand while she is in the middle of typing up a report to send back to the foundation— Kotoko is the one to bring it up, casually handing off some of her share of the cookies Komaru had made for them, to Jataro. An early birthday present, she had said ( pointedly ignoring Nagisa, who’d pointed out she had given Jataro the ones he hated ), before turning to Komaru to ask if they could throw a party. A small one. With no murder, because that would be ‘totally not adorbs’. And no adults, because they stink ( it goes unsaid that Komaru and Touko themselves are the clear exception to this rule, which is some kind of progress, supposedly ).

That seemed like a fairly reasonable request, according to Komaru, who’s only response was to ask when his birthday was. And then accidentally lets it slip that hey, that’s the week that Touko-chan’s birthday is! And that’s how Touko finds out that apparently, she’s having a joint birthday party with the kids because Masaru managed to turn a party into a competition, somehow? Touko has no clue what that actually entails, because Komaru refuses to elaborate.

( Also, at one point before leaving, Komaru had tried asking Jataro if there was anything she could get him; to which he’d remarked, “A new mask?”

...Yeah, Touko can’t blame her for not knowing what to say to that, even if Komaru had spun it as not the most self-deprecating thing he could have said, which was an improvement? She personally disagrees, but whatever )

Here, she should point out the obvious fact that she does not want to really celebrate her birthday, let alone have a party for it. Because those kind of things lean so far into the zone of things Touko doesn’t really know how to handle, that it makes her close to uncomfortable. And if�� if she had humored herself in imagining how she would ideally spend her birthday this year; quite frankly, it would be very quiet and boring and only with Komaru. Not with a group of ten year olds. Ten year olds that she might think of rather fondly, but ten year old brats all the same.

( It’s not like she has any alive friends: if Touko acknowledges the other survivors, justifiably they are too busy with more important matters to fuss over a birthday. They aren’t kids anymore. Some of them hadn’t ever really been like normal kids to begin with, but that’s besides the point )

“Look at the bright side,” She starts, and she bites back a snide what bright side and remark about how that’s all Komaru’s good at ( it’s not. She’s more talented than she gives herself credit for ). “None of you probably have really positive memories when it comes to birthdays or parties, so even if it isn’t the greatest, at least the bar to please should be pretty easy to clear!”

Touko thinks she probably gets the point she is trying to make here, but Komaru’s complete and utter lack of tact doesn’t make for the best delivery. “Are you trying to...to make me feel bad? S-So sorry my life was complete sh-shit growing up.”

“No! That’s not what I meant at all!” Komaru pouts at her. “Does that mean you’re not interested in having a party?”

It’s not like she’s so cold-hearted and selfish that she’s going to say no to that. Well, no, that’s not quite true, Touko might be just that; but it doesn’t really matter either way, because Komaru gives her best kicked dog impression, so she says ( a less than enthusiastic ) no, she doesn’t mind, yes you can have a party; even if she thinks she’ll probably regret that choice.

Okay, if you are to be honest with herself, some part of Touko that never got to be a normal child doesn’t entirely mind the thought of a party, even if it’s...not the most ideal scenario, the impractical fantasy situation that lives in her head. But if she says that aloud, Komaru will either take it too seriously, use it as an excuse to celebrate things more often, or something else that probably has consequences that she doesn’t want to think about. And also admittedly because if she says it aloud, she has to acknowledge it, and maybe she doesn't want to get her hopes up over something as stupid as a party.

( There’s also the fact that, deep in her extremely repressed memories of Hope’s Peak before the tragedy, she does remember parties. Birthdays. Celebrating things with her classmates, if somewhat forcibly so. She has no desire to remember those things, so those feelings remain repressed with most of her trauma )

It’s easy to not acknowledge any of that when she has to deal with the sudden onslaught of a headache that is Syo forcing themselves into their shared headspace, hand rubbing at her temples. Not trying to co-front, she can tell they aren’t trying to snatch control from her ( for now ), just forcing her to pay attention to them. It works, even though Touko has told them to not do this specifically because of how irritating it is for her.

I could scare the kids into cooperating? It’ll save us a headache and a half! Syo offers, maybe too eagerly. Their ideas of scare and cooperate are probably different from her own. Still. She also knows Syo is aware of more than they are letting on, given that they had been present when this conversation had occurred, but she doesn’t think she’ll get much out of them in that regard.

No. Touko tells them firmly. It’ll be counterproductive, Komaru won’t let you do that, and they’re all traumatized enough without you adding to that.

Boo, you sure about that? Consider it a birthday gift from me!

No. She repeats herself sternly, and she feels them withdraw a bit after that. Ugh, Syo hasn’t had a chance to front much recently, now that she thinks about it. Since they usually only take over when she’s in danger, and she hasn’t really been in ( as much ) danger now that things are starting to calm down. Well, relatively speaking. Syo is probably just looking for an excuse to be allowed to front, since it’s probably rough going from being very present to rarely getting the chance to be out: akin to going cold turkey on an addiction. That’s not exactly her fault ( or theirs ), but maybe she’ll ask Komaru if she’d be okay with hanging out with Syo more, if only to placate them a little, before they try something more drastic.

“Everything okay? That was Syo, right?” She hears Komaru ask after a few minutes, and Touko rubs her eyes and blinks. “You looked a little frustrated.”

She considers telling her the truth, but no point in getting her concerned over nothing. She’d like to figure out what she wants to negotiate with Syo firstm so she’ll leave that conversation for another time. “Fine. They just...ugh, just wanted to make sure I was okay with it.”

“And you are okay with it, right? You aren’t agreeing just because I asked?” Touko thinks she begged more than she asked, but she’s pretty sure Komaru will only sulk if she brings that up.

“I wouldn’t let you if, if I was really opposed to it.” Probably. She...trusted Komaru, or something like that, so she figures she’d probably be more honest with herself and not mentally torture herself by putting herself through something she has no interest in. “But...what are you even planning on doing to celebrate? I can’t im-imagine we’ve really got much around here that we can use for a party.”

“Ah. Uhm.” Komaru looks a little embarrassed at that. “About that. I was kind of hoping you and Syo might help pitch in. You don’t mind, right?”

You’re hopeless, she wants to mutter, but—

Yeah!!!! Syo wakes right back up upon being mentioned, no sense of self awareness at all, much to your annoyance, but it’s not like you completely disagree with the feeling that is shared between you two.

“You— You really bit off more than you could chew, hm...? Good thing this wasn’t supposed t-t-to be a surprise.” She quips, leaning over to peer at the paper she’d been making her notes on. “We’ll help, just tell us what we...what we need to do.”

“Thank you, Touko-chan! And Syo too!” Komaru sounds somewhere mixed between grateful and relieved, and casually plants a kiss on her cheek as if it’s no big deal—

She said my name last, so the kiss was for me! She knows Syo is intentionally trying to provoke her and get a rise out of her ( yeah, a rising sense of jealousy ), but puts that aside for the time being because Komaru’s blabbering on like nothing happened.

“I know we probably won’t have the whole day to ourselves to do whatever—” Correctomundo, Dekomaru! “— but I’ll make it up to you on your birthday, okay? We’ll do something that you want.”

“You don't...there’s no need for that.” She forces out between gritted teeth, trying to ignore the flustered feeling in the pit of her stomach, chewing around a fingernail ( what an unattractive sight to follow that ). “Because— ugh, don’t repeat th-this, okay? What I want to do is spend time with...with you. That’s all. So don’t go...you don’t need to go out of your way trying to do s-s-something over the top. Stick to being normal.”

“Really? You’re sure?” Komaru sounds a little uncertain, but happy enough to pull her into a hug, despite her grumbled complaint. “Oh, but Syo has their own birthday, don’t they? So I should probably ask them what they want as well, right?”

“Don’t make me repeat m-myself. It’s embarrassing...” Touko huffs, but lets herself be held against her side, just for a moment. It’s nice, though she won’t admit it ( it is better than any real gift that she could receive ). Syo is kind enough to back off long enough to let her have this moment. “You can ask them later— focus on, on what you need to plan.”

By something short of a miracle, they are able to pull together a party that is not a complete disaster, even if Komaru probably has a point when she says the bar to clear is a pretty low standard for all parties involved. The closest she has to an actual concern is the very narrowly avoided fight that almost breaks out when Masaru and Kotoko fight over which one of them should give their present first— which is apparently the competitive aspect of the party? It’s probably meant to be heartwarming, if it were not such a foreign thing to Touko. Which Nagisa is quick to put an end to: because this is how they would treat Monaca, which is not inherently healthy, and she’s glad that at least one of them can recognize that fact now. Jataro spends the entirety of the fight trying to hide behind her long skirt and, relatable kid, and rubs the top of his head while Komaru tries to both scold them for fighting and appease them because they’re, well. Kids. Who still need to learn some things and have time to unlearn things.

So yeah, it’s a good party— for not being on her actual birthday, she’ll consider it one of the better memories Touko has associated with the day. The start of many, she’d like to hope.