#A nuked ancient civilization!

[melonthesprigatito]

Decided to binge watch the entirety of Pokémon Generations again because it's been a few years since I last saw it and uh

Is it just me or is it a lot more fucked up than I remember

[solxamber]

Signed, Sealed, Bonded || Jade Leech

Being an Esper is hard. Finding a Guide is harder. Somehow, the only one who can handle you is Jade Leech, who is both the best and worst thing that has ever happened to you.

or: Guideverse AU!

So, picture this: You wake up, make yourself some coffee, look outside the window… and BAM—a glowing hell portal is vomiting out nightmare creatures like it’s Black Friday at the Underworld’s Walmart.

No big deal. Just another Tuesday.

This is life now. The universe is one big, unstable loot box, and sometimes, instead of daily struggles like taxes or existential dread, you get eldritch horrors trying to redecorate your city with human remains.

And that’s why Espers and Guides exist.

Espers are the special little guys (derogatory) with godlike powers and a tendency to explode if left unattended. They punch things, obliterate monsters, and generally keep civilization from crumbling like a stale cookie.

But Espers have one teeny, tiny problem. A small, insignificant, itsy-bitsy little flaw—

Espers have a fun little self-destruct feature where, if they overuse their powers and aren’t calmed down properly afterward, they go berserk and start turning cities into craters.

Whoops.

That’s where Guides come in—people with the power to keep Espers from self-destructing and turning the planet into a post-apocalyptic wasteland. They are the Espers’ emotional support humans. Their job is to keep Espers stable, sane, and not prone to going Godzilla-mode on a bad day.

Cool system, right? Makes sense? Keeps society from crumbling?

Yeah, except there’s a problem.

The problem is you.

You are the single strongest Esper on the planet. SSS-Class. Top of the charts. The kind of power that makes scientists scream and military generals start sweating through their uniforms. If Espers were trading cards, you’d be the one people would sell their kidneys for.

There’s just one little issue.

You… cannot be guided.

Like, at all.

Every time a top-ranking Guide tries to do their job, your body reacts like you just swallowed a fork.

S-Class Guide tries to guide you? You feel like you’ve swallowed a beehive.

A-Class Guide reaches out? Your skin crawls like you’re being haunted by the ghosts of bad life choices.

Government’s best, most elite SSS Guide gives it a shot? You feel like throwing up and committing a crime, but you can’t decide which one first.

Basically, your Esper powers took one look at every high-ranking Guide and said, “I’d rather die.”

The entire world is losing its shit over this.

The government is stressed. Scientists are conducting emergency research at 3 AM. High-ranking Guides are offended because how dare you reject their very expensive, very prestigious guidance?

Nobody knows why.

Is it a genetic anomaly? A cosmic joke? Are the gods simply looking down at you and laughing? Science is baffled. The government is stressed. At this point, your mere existence is a “can we patch this in the next update?” level of disaster.

You’re a walking nuclear reactor with no off-switch. And people are starting to panic.

And meanwhile, you’re just standing there, the world’s most unstable walking nuke, trying not to sneeze too hard in case you accidentally vaporize a small country.

It’s fine. It’s totally fine.

It’s absolutely not fine.

Because if they don’t find a Guide who can actually handle you soon…

You’re going to go berserk.

And when an SSS-Class Esper goes berserk? Well. You know those fantasy novels where an ancient dragon wakes up and annihilates an entire civilization in one breath? That, but worse.

You had been this close to blacking out.

It wasn’t supposed to be this hard. You were an SSS-Class Esper, for crying out loud. You could sneeze and flatten a city block. But that Gate had been a nightmare, and without proper guidance, your body was losing its mind. Your veins felt like molten lava, your hands wouldn’t stop shaking, and your head was pounding with the kind of stress headache that could legally qualify as an assassination attempt.

So, like any responsible, law-abiding Esper who didn’t want to be put down like an unruly dog, you dragged yourself to the Guidance Center.

The moment you stepped inside, they immediately threw their best Guide at you—a fellow SSS-Class, the crème de la crème, the poster child of the entire system.

“Let’s begin,” they said, voice dripping with confidence, as if you weren’t already suffering. They reached out, their hands warm as they pressed against your skin.

And then.

Oh, God.

It hit you like a truck full of nausea and existential horror. Your stomach flipped so violently you actually gagged. Your muscles screamed in protest, every cell in your body rejecting the touch like a bad Tinder match.

You scrambled backward so fast you almost ate floor.

The SSS-Class Guide stood there, horrifically offended.

"Are you serious?" They demanded, arms crossed like a petulant child. "Again?"

You barely heard them over the sound of your own labored breathing because Wow. That had been unpleasant.

So now you were curled up on the floor of the Guidance Center, shaking from both overexertion and the delightful aftereffects of a guide touch that had made you want to throw yourself into oncoming traffic.

The SSS-Class Guide was still watching you, arms crossed, debating whether they should be more concerned about your wellbeing or their ego.

Which is exactly when Jade Leech walked in.

There was a pause.

Then a slow, deliberate click of polished shoes as he stepped toward you, tilting his head.

“…Are they supposed to look like that?” he mused aloud.

“No,” said the SSS-Class Guide, deeply unamused.

Jade hummed thoughtfully before crouching beside you, resting a hand on your shoulder. It wasn’t careful. It wasn’t hesitant.

And for the first time since your powers awakened, you didn’t want to fling yourself off a building.

Your whole body went limp.

The shaking stopped. The nausea faded.

Your mind, which had been screaming at a constant 200% volume since you turned eighteen and acquired your powers, went quiet.

It was the most blissful thing you had ever felt in your entire life.

The SSS-Class Guide was gaping at you like you had just committed high treason.

"Are you kidding me?" they spluttered. "Him?"

And then, with a huff, they stomped away, absolutely furious that you—the greatest Esper in history, the walking apocalypse—had rejected them but accepted some random nobody.

You, meanwhile, felt clear-headed for the first time in years.

You looked at Jade—at his unreadable expression, at the sharpness of his gaze.

And then you asked, voice hoarse but steady, "What’s your name?"

His lips curled into a polite smile. "Jade Leech."

"And your grade?"

He tilted his head slightly, as if entertained by the question.

“B-Class.”

Silence.

You stared at him.

Then, before you could stop yourself, you started laughing.

Of course this was happening. Of course the universe gave you a Guide you could accidentally kill.

What an absolute joke.

And yet…

You didn’t let go.

Jade Leech was the key to your survival.

Not in the romantic, fated, "I would perish without you, my love," kind of way (you weren't that dramatic, despite what your coworkers said). No, this was purely a matter of self-preservation.

For years, you had been operating like a high-powered, government-issued, barely-functioning time bomb.

Every time you subdued a gate, your body veered dangerously close to going berserk, and the only thing keeping you from breaking reality into tiny, apocalyptic pieces was the occasional half-hearted guidance session that felt about as effective as slapping a band-aid on a leaking nuclear reactor.

It was not ideal.

But now?

Now you had Jade.

Jade, the B-Class Guide who had accidentally waltzed into your life, touched your shoulder, and immediately rewired your entire nervous system.

For the first time since awakening as an Esper, you had felt calm. Like your power wasn’t on the verge of ripping itself apart. Like your own body wasn’t actively rejecting the guidance meant to stabilize you.

And it was incredible.

So, being the responsible and absolutely not impulsive person that you were, you did the only logical thing.

You decided to bribe him with a gift and ask him to temporarily bind himself to you.

Look, it wasn’t permanent.

Permanent bonding was a whole different beast.

If you bonded with Jade permanently, that was it. Game over. No take-backs, no re-dos. No guiding anyone else for the rest of his life.

Espers could still receive guidance from others, sure. But Guides? They could never guide anyone else again.

Which—haha, wow,—that had never caused any problems, ever. Definitely not an entirely predictable storm of jealousy and possessiveness among Guides who suddenly couldn’t tolerate the idea of their Esper ever touching another person.

So, no. You were not going to ask him chain himself to you for eternity. That would be both cruel and incredibly selfish.

But a temporary bond?

A temporary bond would greatly reduce the risk of you accidentally draining him to the point of no return. It would give you the stability to actually push your limits without fear of self-destruction. And most importantly, it would allow both of you to thrive.

It was perfect.

Which was why, two days later, you found yourself standing at the entrance of the Guidance Center once again, clutching a neatly wrapped gift like it was a sacrificial offering.

You marched inside with the confidence of a person who had rehearsed this conversation in their head a thousand times.

And then promptly lost all of that confidence the second Jade turned to face you, smiling like he already knew exactly what you were about to say.

"Back so soon?" he asked, his voice perfectly polite. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

You cleared your throat and forced yourself to act like a normal human being.

“I wanted to thank you,” you said, shoving the box into his hands before you could second-guess yourself. “For the other day.”

Jade’s eyes flickered with something sharp and unreadable as he took the box, his fingers brushing lightly against yours.

Then, before your already struggling brain could catch up to the recklessness of what you were about to do, you pushed forward.

“I also had a proposal for you.”

Jade tilted his head, looking far too entertained.

“I see,” he said. “Do tell.”

You inhaled deeply.

"Would you be interested in forming a temporary bond with me?"

There. You said it.

Now, all you had to do was wait for him to either:

A) Refuse outright because it was too much effort.

B) Agree immediately because having the strongest Esper in existence on a leash would give him unfathomable influence.

What you did not expect was for him to smile.

Not a normal smile. Not a polite, professional, "oh wow, what a fascinating suggestion," kind of smile.

No.

This was something else.

A slow, deliberate, sharp-edged thing.

Jade stepped closer, gaze glinting with quiet amusement.

"And what," he murmured, voice too smooth, too knowing, "would you be willing to offer me in return?"

You blinked.

Oh.

Oh, you might be in deep shit.

It had been weeks.

Weeks of asking Jade to temporarily bind himself to you. Weeks of bargaining, negotiating, and trying to convince him that this wasn’t some tragic, toxic love story where the frail Guide got used up like an expired battery. Weeks of him smiling at you like you were a particularly amusing lab rat scrambling against the walls of a maze.

And yet.

Despite all of that—he still guided you.

He still stepped in when your brain felt like it was melting from the inside out, still pressed a steady hand against your skin like it was the easiest thing in the world, still whispered, “Don’t fight it. Just relax.”

Which was a very funny thing to say to someone who could literally kill you by accident.

And that was the problem.

Because he wasn’t bound to you.

Which meant that if you drained him too much—if you accidentally pushed him past his limits—there would be no failsafe.

And if that happened—if you were even a fraction too reckless—

He would die.

And you would go to jail.

And, even worse, you would probably cry.

So, obviously, the rational thing to do was to pull away whenever you felt like you were taking too much.

Which brings you to now.

Jade had been guiding you for forty-five minutes.

FORTY-FIVE. MINUTES.

An ungodly amount of time. A suicidal amount of time.

You could already see the signs of fatigue in him. His touch had grown warmer, heavier, his breaths had slowed into something almost too steady.

He was getting tired.

Which meant it was time to get the hell out of here before you became a murderer.

You twisted, trying to sit up, and—like the absolute menace he was—Jade simply… swung his legs over yours, caging you beneath him like some deranged, smug, lanky cryptid that refused to let you escape.

You froze.

He smiled.

That sharp, infuriating, absolutely unhinged smile.

"Now, now," he murmured, voice sickeningly patient, "where do you think you're going?"

You stared at him in horror.

"You've been guiding me for almost an hour," you hissed, your muscles tense with the effort of not launching him across the room. "I refuse to let you die because you’re too stubborn to let me leave."

Jade tilted his head, considering.

"Hm."

You blinked.

"Hm"???

You had just laid out the possibility of a tragic demise and all he had to say was ‘hm’???

"What the hell does that mean?" you demanded.

Jade leaned in slightly, pressing his fingers against your neck, his touch featherlight.

"I wonder," he mused, eyes glinting with something that looked too much like amusement, "do you think perhaps you are underestimating me?"

"Underestimating you?" You nearly choked on your own disbelief. "Jade, you are a B-Class Guide. I could literally snap you in half like a goddamn glow stick."

"And yet," he said smoothly, "I am still here."

Your eye twitched.

"That is not the flex you think it is—"

"Shhh," he murmured, pressing his fingers against your temple. "Relax. Just a little longer."

You wanted to argue. You really, really did.

But the second his touch deepened the guiding, your entire body sagged under the weight of exhaustion.

You hated how much you trusted it.

You hated that, in the end, you let him win.

Because as much as you wanted to fight him, as much as you wanted to break free and flee the room—

You needed this.

And he knew it.

Which was why he was smiling so much.

The absolute menace.

Today, you did something very dangerous.

No, not fighting another Gate. Not risking your life for the safety of others. Not even getting guided by a man who was one unfortunate sneeze away from becoming a tragic obituary.

No, you did something far worse.

You asked Jade Leech what he wanted in return for keeping you alive.

It was a reasonable question! A necessary question! Because at this point, the man was essentially your life support, and it felt a little irresponsible to just assume he’d be happy with some gift baskets and heartfelt thank-you notes. If you were going to keep depending on him, you needed to know what he wanted.

So you asked.

And the menace smiled.

Which immediately sent your self-preservation instincts screaming.

That was never a good sign. Jade’s smiles were like sharks in shallow water—unsettling, unnatural, and a clear warning that something was about to go very, very wrong.

You braced yourself.

And then he said:

"A nature trail."

You stared at him.

And blinked.

And then stared at him some more.

Because surely you had misheard him.

“A nature trail,” you repeated slowly, because there was no possible way that was all he wanted. You had prepared for blackmail. You had budgeted for bribes. Hell, you had been willing to break the bank if it meant keeping him around (not to brag, but the government paid you stupidly well for constantly risking your life). And yet, out of all the possible insane, ominous, power-hungry demands he could’ve made—

He was asking for a casual stroll through the wilderness?

Jade nodded, the picture of serenity. “Yes.”

"That’s it?" You squinted at him, like maybe if you looked hard enough, you’d find some hidden, sinister agenda buried in his expression. "That's all you want? Not money? Not status? Not, I don’t know, government secrets?"

Jade’s lips twitched, his amusement almost palpable. “For now.”

For now.

For now???

You triple checked that he was being serious, eyed him with the kind of deep, unblinking suspicion normally reserved for politicians and people who ate their cereal without milk, but all he did was nod serenely.

And so, finally, reluctantly, completely aware that you were probably walking into some elaborate trap—

You sighed and muttered, "Sure. What the hell."

It was almost alarming how much fun you were having.

For once, you weren’t dealing with the constant, soul-crushing sensation of your own mind and body trying to rip each other apart like two rabid raccoons fighting over a single McDonald’s fry.

For once, you could just exist without the underlying fear of accidentally exploding something—or someone—if you weren’t careful.

And as it turned out, existing was kind of nice.

You took the time to smell the flowers (literally, because Jade had shoved one under your nose and said, “Tell me, do you also detect the faintest hint of decay?” which was an incredibly alarming sentence but a nice flower).

You watched as little woodland creatures scampered through the underbrush, entirely unbothered by the fact that an SSS-Class Esper and a B-Class Guide were just casually strolling through their home like a scenic couple in a nature documentary. And honestly?

It was peaceful. Disturbingly peaceful.

But the real sight—the real discovery—was Jade himself.

You had never seen him like this before. Completely in his element. He had dumped the entirety of your picnic basket into your arms without hesitation and was now roaming freely, examining plants with the intense curiosity of a man who had just found Atlantis.

Every few minutes, he’d pause and rattle off some absurdly specific nature fact at you, like, “This particular plant releases a toxin that causes temporary blindness if ingested. Isn’t that fascinating?” or “Did you know that otters sometimes use tools to crack open shellfish? Much like humans, they have a preference for certain objects. Some even carry the same rock with them for years.”

You had absolutely no idea why you found this so entertaining.

Maybe it was the way he spoke, all smooth enthusiasm and quiet amusement. Maybe it was the way he moved, effortless, unhurried, utterly unbothered by anything except whatever flora had captured his attention next. Or maybe—God help you—it was just him.

Not that you’d ever admit that. You’d rather eat your own boots.

Still, you couldn’t help but watch as he suddenly stilled. His gaze snapped toward something in the distance, eyes gleaming with open delight, and you knew—instinctively, immediately—that something was about to go down.

And sure enough—

"Ah."

That single, quiet syllable was so ominous you had to physically fight the urge to take a step back.

Then, Jade turned toward you, expression eerily composed despite the unmistakable excitement in his gaze, and said, “Do you see that mushroom?”

You followed his gaze toward the completely ordinary-looking tree. And then you squinted.

There, just barely within sight, was a mushroom.

A mushroom that looked like every other goddamn mushroom you had passed on this trip.

And yet.

Based on the way Jade’s entire soul had just left his body in pure, unfiltered joy, you could only assume it was some rare, once-in-a-lifetime god of the fungi.

You watched as he immediately took his phone out, snapping so many pictures you were half convinced he was going to submit them to a mushroom appreciation forum.

Then he paused.

And the exhilaration on his face dimmed—just slightly.

Because, unfortunately for him, the mushroom in question was just barely out of reach.

And you—a fool, an absolute clown, an irredeemable dumbass—

Put your bags down.

Walked up to him.

And lifted him up.

For a single, terrifying moment, there was silence.

Jade froze. His hands hovered in midair, like even he couldn’t quite believe what was happening.

Then, slowly, he reached forward.

Plucked the mushroom from its resting place.

And you—practically sweating bullets at the realization of what you had just done without even thinking about it—lowered him back onto solid ground.

The first thing he did was examine the sample like it was the most precious object in the entire world. The second thing he did was glance up at you—not with his usual smug amusement, not with teasing mirth, but something else entirely.

A slow, quiet smile.

Warm. Gentle. Uncharacteristically soft.

And that was the exact moment you thought, “Fuck my life, I’m doomed.”

Without another word, you picked your bags back up and followed him to the next area.

The Gate had been particularly easy to suppress today—by which you meant no spontaneous explosions, no sudden existential dread, and, most importantly, no feeling like your brain had been wrung out like a wet dishcloth. All in all, a successful day.

So when you spotted Jade afterward, you figured you wouldn’t need much from him. A little guidance, maybe. Some grounding. Nothing too serious.

What you did not expect, however, was to immediately slump against him like a Victorian maiden succumbing to the vapors.

At first, Jade visibly tensed. His muscles coiled, and he took a sharp breath—like he had genuinely thought you had just dropped dead in his arms.

But then he glanced down.

And instead of finding you on the verge of unconsciousness due to Esper-induced burnout, he found you…completely at peace.

Relaxed.

Asleep.

And oh.

Oh, this was interesting.

Jade stilled, the way a hunter does when something rare and unexpected steps into their sights. His lips quirked, amusement flickering across his face as he tilted his head, watching you with the same fascination he reserved for poisonous plants and particularly lively prey.

You had just…collapsed. Right into his arms.

Voluntarily.

Slowly—very slowly, like he was testing the weight of a particularly fragile glass sculpture—he adjusted his stance, shifting just enough so you could lean more comfortably against him.

And when you made a soft, barely audible sigh of contentment—an actual sigh of contentment—he almost laughed.

Jade glanced around, taking in the others in the vicinity. There were still a few agents packing up equipment, cataloging monster remains, finishing the usual post-Gate cleanup. No one seemed to be paying particular attention to your current predicament.

He debated waking you.

For about half a second.

Then, instead of nudging you upright, instead of rousing you from your accidental nap, he merely settled in more comfortably, adjusted his grip, and decided:

"A little while more wouldn’t hurt."

The first time you met Floyd Leech was…an experience.

Not in the way people say, “Oh, yeah, skydiving was an experience!” or “That seafood buffet really did a number on my stomach, what an experience!” No. This was more of a “I just survived a category five hurricane with nothing but a pool noodle and sheer willpower” kind of experience.

You knew Jade's twin was an Esper, and you'd heard the rumors about Floyd’s personality. Some people said he was unpredictable, others called him a walking natural disaster with an attention span that could either last three seconds or three months. B Rank Esper Floyd Leech, SSS Rank Menace.

And then, by sheer misfortune (or fate, depending on whose side you were on), you both ended up suppressing the same Gate.

Hearing him laugh as he shredded a monster like it was nothing but a chew toy was unsettling even for you. You had seen horrors beyond human comprehension, had fought creatures made of shadows and teeth, had experienced the kind of pain that would make a lesser being crumble—and yet.

Yet.

The way Floyd’s eyes locked onto you in the middle of the battlefield, the way his grin stretched wider, wider, as if he had just found a new favorite thing to play with—your instincts screamed at you. Your fight-or-flight response hit so hard you almost accidentally activated your Esper abilities on pure reflex.

(And the worst part? You were technically stronger than him. That did not make you feel any safer.)

Then, as if to truly cement his status as an absolute enigma, he took one look at you, tilted his head, and said:

"Ooooh~! A shrimpy!"

A shrimpy.

He just…he called you shrimpy.

And the worst part? It was kind of funny. Actually, it was lowkey adorable.

So you just. Didn’t stop him.

Which he took as an invitation, apparently, because the next thing you knew, he was slapping an arm around your shoulders like you were old friends. And with zero hesitation, he dragged you along as you both exited the Gate, whistling a happy little tune as if he hadn’t just been reveling in combat two minutes ago.

You barely had time to process what had just happened before you saw Jade.

Jade’s gaze looked…sharper.

It wasn’t obvious—he was still smiling, still polite, still the ever-composed Guide who had saved your ass on multiple occasions—but there was a distinct flicker of something behind his eyes as he looked at Floyd practically draping himself over you.

He didn’t say anything. Didn’t frown. Didn’t tell Floyd off.

He simply stepped forward, placed a hand on your shoulder, and gently pulled you away.

And just like that, the weight of Floyd’s arm disappeared, replaced by the steadier, more deliberate touch of his twin.

And Floyd?

Floyd just looked between the two of you.

Then, he grinned.

Then, he laughed.

And then, with all the enthusiasm of a man about to cause absolute chaos, he threw his head back and cackled.

"Ooooh, Azul is gonna LOVE this~!"

And before you could even begin to ask what the hell that meant, he waved and walked off toward a Guide—one who was probably prepared to deal with his absolute insanity.

You barely had time to recover before Jade gestured for you to sit.

Guidance was nothing new at this point. Usually, he just held your hand, grounded you with a touch, let his presence stabilize your energy until you were back to normal.

But today.

Today, he touched your foreheads together.

Your breath caught.

His hand was light against your jaw, but firm enough to keep you still. His forehead pressed against yours, close enough that you could feel his breath ghosting against your lips.

Your eyes fluttered shut on pure reflex, your fists clenching as if that would somehow stop the sudden, ridiculous way your pulse spiked.

This was fine.

This was fine.

Your mind was clear. Your energy was balanced. You were not thinking about his breath on your lips.

You absolutely, one hundred percent, were not thinking about how his voice, so soft, so deceptively gentle, murmured:

"Breathe."

You were so, so doomed.

The Gate had been massive—one of the worst ones in years.

It had opened with no warning, no telltale energy fluctuations, nothing. By the time the first responders had arrived, the battlefield was already drenched in blood.

A-class Espers, gone.

S-class Espers, gone.

By the time you had been thrown into the fray, the situation had spiraled so far out of control that your arrival felt less like a strategic decision and more like a last-ditch gamble.

Eight hours.

Eight hours of relentless combat.

Wave after wave, monster after monster, every time you cut one down, another two would replace it.

You had fought until your muscles felt like molten lead, until your vision blurred at the edges, until the very air around you burned with overuse of your own power—until the Gate finally stabilized just enough for you to close it.

And then, you stumbled out.

And everything hurt.

Everything was too much.

The sound of voices, the shifting of energy, the distant cries of the wounded—it all crashed into you like a tidal wave, scraping against your raw, frayed nerves. You were this close to losing control, to snapping under the pressure, to letting your Esper abilities swallow you whole.

But Jade wasn’t here.

Jade, your Guide, the one person who knew how to handle you when you reached your breaking point—wasn’t here.

Apparently, no one had informed him of your involvement in the battle. He was still on his way.

Which meant you were falling apart, and there was no one to catch you.

And so, the SSS-ranked Guide on standby stepped in.

The moment their hands touched you, you recoiled. Their presence was too much, too invasive, too overbearing, like someone trying to force a puzzle piece where it didn’t belong.

But you didn’t have a choice.

Their energy pressed against yours, crushing down, shoving your frayed emotions back into place like jamming a lid onto a boiling pot.

You wanted to throw up.

Your entire body screamed wrong, wrong, wrong.

But if you pushed them away, if you lost control, if you went berserk right here in the aftermath of this bloodbath—people would die.

So you clung to them, shaking, white-knuckled, letting them guide you as best as they could.

And you hoped—prayed—that Jade would get here soon.

When Jade first stabilized you, he had thought of you as entertainment.

It was hilarious, really. The strongest Esper to ever exist, the one the government practically worshiped, the one whose very presence made monsters hesitate—completely helpless without him.

Oh, you could fight. You could tear through Gates like they were made of paper, you could reduce monsters to mist and regrets, but the moment it was over? The moment your power turned inward and tried to rip you apart? Only he could fix it.

Jade had never considered himself sentimental, and certainly not possessive. People were people. They came, they went, they lived, they died. He had met more than a few Espers in his life, had guided his fair share, and yet—none of them had ever needed him. Not the way you did.

And the best part? You were terrified of hurting him.

Absolutely adorable.

Your desperation to keep him safe was comedy gold. You were an SSS-rank nightmare, strong enough to turn city blocks into craters, and yet, the moment he touched you, you flinched like you might break him. You barely let him guide you for more than a few minutes, always watching him like he was made of glass, like he might shatter if you took too much.

Jade had never been one for attachment, so he simply dodged all your attempts at even a temporary bond. What was the point? He liked the little game you two had going on. You kept asking, kept trying to tie him down, and he kept laughing and evading, watching you get more and more frustrated. Too much fun to stop now.

Even when he invited you to the nature trail, it had been on a whim. A little curiosity, a little test. He expected you to sulk in the corner, maybe grumble under your breath about how boring it was, or sigh dramatically like you were suffering for his sake.

Instead, you had participated.

You had followed him through the trees, asked questions, even leaned in close to examine the plants he showed you. And when he couldn’t reach a mushroom, you had—without hesitation, without even thinking—simply lifted him up.

Like it was the most natural thing in the world.

That had been the moment something inside him had shifted.

Jade wasn’t sure he liked it.

It was unfamiliar, uncomfortable. Unsettling. A quiet sort of tug, deep in his chest, something that made him pause when he looked at you.

Before, it had been easy to laugh off questions.

"Jade, what’s the deal with you and them?" someone would ask, and he would smirk, deflect, change the subject.

Now?

Now, when people asked, he had to bite back the urge to say, “They’re mine.”

So when he heard about the Gate—eight hours, a battle, an ambush that had already killed dozens before you were called in—

He didn’t hesitate.

He had barely taken the time to grab Floyd, all but shoving him into the driver’s seat. "Drive."

Floyd, ever delighted by drama, had driven like a man possessed. Jade wasn’t entirely sure how they weren’t in a burning wreck by the time they arrived, but at least they got there fast.

And when he stepped onto the battlefield, pushing past medics, ignoring protocol—he saw you.

Sick. Wounded. Barely standing.

In the arms of someone else.

His stomach turned.

Jade had never experienced jealousy before, not in any real way. He was too patient, too controlled, too much of a sadist to truly be envious of anything. But seeing you there, shaking and exhausted, clinging to someone who wasn’t him—

Something ugly coiled in his chest.

For the first time in his life, Jade Leech felt like throwing up.

The moment you saw Jade, it was over for the poor, unfortunate soul currently keeping you upright.

You shoved the deeply offended Guide off you like they were an inconvenience, a minor roadblock between you and salvation. You could apologize later. Right now, your legs were giving out, your head was spinning, and the only thing you knew for certain was that you needed him.

Jade barely had time to react before you reached for him, stumbling forward, barely coherent, barely standing.

And he ran to you.

Jade Leech—calm, composed, unshakable Jade—ran.

You collapsed against him the second he was close enough, clutching him like a man stranded in the desert clutching the first drop of rain. His touch was the only thing keeping you tethered to reality, the only thing that made the burning, suffocating feeling inside you ease just a little.

“Thank you,” you gasped, fingers twisting in the fabric of his uniform, voice barely above a whisper. “Thank you for coming.”

Jade stiffened.

You barely registered it. You were too far gone, too exhausted, too feverish. But if you had been paying attention, you would have seen something rare, something almost unheard of—

Jade Leech looking completely and utterly shocked.

Like he hadn’t expected you to say that. Like he hadn’t expected you to look at him like he was something worth holding onto.

And then, because you were nothing if not a disaster, you giggled—actually giggled, delirious and exhausted and overwhelmed by relief.

“Your face…” you murmured, the edges of your vision darkening. “You look so—”

And then you went completely limp in his arms.

Jade was not panicking.

No, truly, he wasn’t. Panic was an unbecoming emotion, a pointless thing that only clouded one’s judgment. It was inefficient. Wasteful. Jade Leech did not panic.

So when you went completely limp in his arms, when your body sagged against him like a puppet with its strings cut, he did not panic.

He simply—assessed the situation.

He shook you gently, then not-so-gently, but you were completely unresponsive, your breath coming in short, ragged gasps. His hands slid over your back, fingers pressing against the pulse points in your wrists, your neck—too fast, too unsteady, too weak.

He tried guiding you, pushing that familiar, stabilizing force into you, but it was like pouring water into a cup that had already shattered—it wasn’t enough.

You needed something more.

Jade hesitated.

For the first time in years, he hesitated.

And then, before he could think better of it, before he could talk himself out of it, he leaned in and kissed you.

It was not soft, nor was it gentle. This was not a kiss meant to be romantic, nor was it something he had ever done before. But kissing—intimate, overwhelming, all-encompassing kissing—had long been known as one of the most effective ways for a Guide to stabilize an Esper.

And Jade had never needed to put in this much effort before.

Your lips were warm beneath his, feverish and trembling. He could feel it the second it worked—your grip on him tightened, fingers twisting in his coat as you gasped against his mouth. A shudder ran through your body as you pulled him closer, kissed him back.

Jade felt something snap.

It was an ugly thing, this feeling in his chest. Sharp-edged and burning. He didn’t know if he was kissing you to help you, to save you—

Or if he was kissing you because he wanted to.

But then—oh, then—his lips curled against yours as a slow, unbearable sense of triumph unfurled inside him. Because you weren’t just kissing him back.

You were kissing him back in front of everyone.

In front of all the other Guides who had spent years chasing after you, aching for the chance to stabilize you, to prove themselves worthy of being your match.

And yet, it was his arms you had collapsed into. His touch that had soothed you. His lips you were parting for, grasping at like he was the only thing keeping you from slipping into the abyss.

Jade had spent months dodging your attempts at forming a temporary bond, laughing as you fumbled for something more than what he was willing to give.

Now, you were clinging to him.

And wasn’t that just the most delicious thing?

Waking up to someone kissing you was new.

Waking up to Jade kissing you, though? That was absolutely not on your bingo card.

Your mind, sluggish from the near-death experience of the century, took a moment to catch up. There was warmth against your lips—soft, careful, lingering. A hand at the back of your neck, cool fingers threading through your hair. The faint scent of damp earth and saltwater, familiar, grounding.

And then, your body caught up with your brain and realized oh, holy shit, that’s Jade.

A normal person would pull away, maybe demand an explanation. Possibly scream.

You?

You wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him closer.

Jade let out a noise—half a laugh, half a surprised hum—but he didn’t stop you. If anything, he melted into you, his lips curling into a smile against yours. His hand tightened at your nape, fingers splaying against your back, and when you deepened the kiss, he sighed into your mouth like he had been waiting for you to do it.

That was almost enough to send you straight into cardiac arrest.

When you finally pulled away, you were fully awake, body thrumming with energy. Not just from the guiding—though, yeah, that was part of it—but from the undeniable, inescapable fact that Jade Leech had just kissed you. That you had kissed him back.

Jade didn’t move far. If anything, he leaned in closer, forehead brushing against yours, his breath still warm on your lips. His gaze flickered across your face, taking in the flush burning its way up your cheeks, the way you were still holding onto him like you’d fall apart if you let go.

You wanted to say something, maybe tease him, maybe demand an explanation, but words weren’t exactly functioning right now. You could barely think beyond holy shit that was the best kiss of my life.

Jade, for once, wasn’t smug.

Or, no. He was trying to be. He had the smirk, the casual tone, the playful tilt of his head. But his fingers twitched against your back, his grip just a little too tight. And when he finally spoke, his voice was a fraction softer than usual, a little too careful.

"Would you," he said, "perhaps, be interested in permanently bonding with me?"

You blinked.

Jade Leech. Jade Leech. The same Jade who had dodged every attempt you made at even a temporary bond, who found it hilarious that only he could stabilize you, who treated your guiding sessions like some kind of ongoing game.

That Jade had just asked if you wanted to bond.

Permanently.

Your heart stuttered. His hand was trembling.

He swallowed, like he was waiting for you to say no.

You didn't answer. Not with words, anyway. Instead, you grabbed him by the collar and kissed him again.

Jade made a startled sound before melting into you completely, his arms locking around you like he had no plans of letting go. His lips curled into another smile against yours—this time, not smug, but genuine.

Like he had won.

You had asked him eighteen times.

Eighteen.

And, frankly, Jade was getting impatient.

The first time, it had been endearing. You had looked at him with wide, wary eyes, like you thought this was some elaborate joke. You had stammered out a, "You—You're sure? Like, actually sure?" and Jade, who was in a good mood, had simply hummed and said yes.

The second time, it had been amusing. You had grabbed him by the wrist, pulled him aside, and, in a whisper like you were plotting treason, said, "Look, I won’t be mad if you back out. You know that, right? Like, this is a huge deal, and if this was just, y’know, heat of the moment, that’s totally okay. No hard feelings."

The third, fourth, fifth, and so on?

Infuriating.

Jade could not, for the life of him, figure out how to convince you that he meant what he said. Yes, he wanted to bond. Yes, permanently. No, he had not lost his mind.

And yet, here you were, pacing across his living room, your arms crossed, rambling for the nineteenth time about how he still had a choice, how you wouldn’t hold it against him if he didn’t want to go through with it, how he wouldn’t be able to guide anyone else ever again if he bonded to you, how that might be too much to give up.

Jade, stretched out on the couch, chin propped against his palm, sighed.

He had enough patience to last centuries.

But this?

This was getting ridiculous.

"—and I'm just saying," you continued, voice a little frantic, "I've seen Guides get really resentful about it. You could go from stabilizing a hundred people to just me. And you know how bad I get, how it hurts, and I'm not saying you can't handle it, but, like, are you sure? Like, really sure? Because—"

Jade leaned forward, grabbed your collar, and kissed you.

You stumbled, caught off guard, and his lips curled when he felt you tense up before relaxing completely. He kissed you slow, deliberate, like he was trying to make you feel the answer you had refused to believe.

And when he finally pulled away, he let his teeth graze your bottom lip just slightly, smirking when he felt you shiver.

"Does that answer your question?" he asked, voice smooth, teasing.

You opened and closed your mouth like a fish out of water.

Jade’s smirk widened.

"You're overthinking it," he said, reaching out, gripping your wrist, tugging you closer. "There’s no one who could entertain me quite like you do, you know? Maybe it’s time for a career change. I’ll be your Guide, and yours alone."

Something inside you lurched.

Something possessive.

Jade, yours.

Only yours.

His gaze flickered to your lips. Amused. Challenging.

"So?" he said, voice mocking light, but his fingers tightened around your wrist, his pulse beating just a little too fast. "Are we doing this or not?"

Your breath hitched.

And then, you grabbed him by his collar, yanked him down, and kissed him again.

This time, you bit his lip.

Jade laughed into your mouth—pleased, triumphant—before pulling you against him and kissing you so deeply you felt it in your bones.

And just like that, the bond clicked into place.

Waking up with Jade curled against you was a rare privilege.

For one, he was a light sleeper. Most of the time, you barely shifted and he’d already be watching you like some creepy forest cryptid. But today, he must’ve been exhausted from the bonding because he was still tucked against you, his breathing slow and utterly unguarded.

It was… nice.

Nice enough that you felt unreasonably smug about it.

You shifted just a little, tightening your hold around him, and he hummed in contentment, pressing closer without fully waking up. Unfair. How was this the same Jade who deliberately guided you half the time by whispering things against your lips just to make you flustered?

You could get used to this.

And then it hit you.

You’d bonded. Permanently.

But you had never actually asked him to be yours.

As in, romantically.

Your eyes snapped open. Oh. Oh, you had fumbled.

You knew Jade had agreed to the bond, obviously, but—was he in love with you? Did he see this as just a Guide-Esper partnership? Did you just lock yourself into a lifelong working relationship like some corporate contract??

He slowly stirred and just as he blinked at you, before you could think better of it, you blurted out, "What are we?"

Jade went still.

Like, completely, horrifyingly motionless.

You felt him exhale sharply, his hand twitching against your side, as if physically restraining himself.

For a long moment, he said nothing.

Then, finally, slowly, he pulled back just enough to look at you, and the expression on his face was somewhere between fondness, disbelief, and the soul-crushing realization that he was in love with a complete idiot.

"...Are you serious?" he asked, his voice painfully even.

You hesitated. "...Yes?"

Jade closed his eyes.

He inhaled.

He exhaled.

He inhaled again.

Then, finally, he muttered, "God give me strength."

You frowned. "Look, I’m just saying, you never actually—"

"Do you think I would bond with you permanently if I wasn't in love with you?" he asked, voice slower, more deliberate, as if carefully handling a very stupid but very precious object.

You blinked.

Paused.

And then you felt heat creep up your neck.

"...Oh," you said, a little dumbly.

Jade sighed.

But before he could say anything else, you reached out and pulled him back into your chest.

You hid your face against his hair.

"...Love you too," you mumbled, voice muffled, but he could hear the smile in it.

Jade, after a long beat of silence, finally let out a breathless laugh.

And as you held him close, warm and undeniably happy, he thought, Yup. They’re my dumbass.

Masterlist

[directdogman]

What kind of class would the cast of Dialtown be in DnD? (Ie, Druid, Rouge, Paladin… etc)

Oh, I did a whole DnD Dialtown thing ages ago that conveniently mentions some classes in it with some rewritten backstories for the characters in this new universe. I'll paste it below (preamble is important for the character descriptions, so sorry for the lore:)

The story is set in a fictional landmass, with parts of it based on a fucked up Alaska, parts resembling the Swiss Alps, a desert zone and nuked carnival wastes. In the present era, an evil empire rules over the whole map, ran by an evil necromancer, Callum Crown. Him and his partner, Milton, took over the entire continent in a bloody conquest together that ended with Crown dropping an arcane nuke on the clown territory, ending the war, but turning Milt against him, leading to a civil war, in which Crown destroyed Milt.

Crown has a phone head made from scraps of the metals of the heroes who've failed to vanquish him, and has a lich body, which he reinforces with the same metal he used to build his head, gaining a gradual suit of armor in order to stop himself from physically falling apart. He has a powerful arcane gauntlet which he uses to cast devastating spells. His undead empire sells death to people with a snazzy sales pitch. Basically, you sign a waiver that gives you benefits within his empire while you're alive, but once you die, your corpse is resurrected to serve Crown until your remains degrade beyond use.

The plot of the game is that Crown is trying to unravel reality to remove an ancient arcane law of magic from the fabric of reality as old as life itself: necromancy cannot resurrect a life that has taken itself. Crown, despite presiding over the whole world and everything in it, cannot bear the loss of his friend, Milt, who he beat in the civil war, which ended with Milt drinking poison before Crown could reach his throne room in the final assault of milt's base.

Crown would tell you that he wishes to resurrect Milt so he can finally have Milt answer for his betrayal, but in reality, he just really misses Milt. To revive Milt, because he specifically took his own life, would require the fabric of reality be altered... something that could potentially end the world. Gingi is a non-human monster (not considered a person, starts the game as a low level enemy) who gets caught up in a complex socioeconomic conflict/conspiracy by being in the wrong place at the wrong time and has to travel with a band of companions in order to resolve the conflict and eventually, once powerful entities begin to take notice of you, in order to survive.

The plot involves Crown's pursuit of the final piece of the puzzle: gaining the ability to rewrite universal law, and eventually, Gingi either has to choose to help him achieve this power, prevent the power from being accessed by anyone, or taking it and using it however they decide to. Basically, Crown wants to rewrite universal law because he can't accept that he owns everything, is all powerful, but cannot revive one specific person.

Now onto the companions with classes mentioned:

Randy Jade: You meet him in one of the cities in Crown's empire. He approaches you to ask you for a cigarette, and if you give him one, he then asks you for a lighter too. He explains that he had a string of jobs in Crown's empire, but kept screwing them up and getting fired, and at this point, he's stealing to eat.

If you recruit him, Randy will fight for you. Randy's a rogue, uses small blades (starting item are some house keys he found poking out through his knuckle), he's a glass cannon (good DPS, low health) and is politically neutral.

Oliver Swift: He's a traveling bard/performer who's going on a journey to raise enough money so his old mentor, Mr Dickens, can gift a sword to a young hero in his village and order him to go forth and vanquish Callum Crown (a yearly tradition for the village that always ends with crown getting another scrap of metal for his head/armor)

If you agree to give him a share of the loot to send home, he will join the party. He attacks with blunt weapons (metal lute, wrench). Ironically, despite Randy being the rogue, Oliver has the better lockpicking skill. Politically, he dislikes Crown, and without a high speech skill, will leave the party if you align with Crown.

Karen Dunn: A bureaucrat in Crown's empire. A talented mage, she works in Crown's deathdealers headquarters. She's the person at the line for mages looking to sell their souls to Crown. She really doesn't care for this job, allowing the player to convince her to ditch it + join the party. Karen uses fire magic offensively but starts with a few healing spells too.

Karen is politically neutral, though she has a personal distaste for Crown's empire as an employer.

Bigfoot: Can be admitted into the party. He's a melee tank, but has a few forest magic spells that buff himself and other party members, giving him support capabilities. Bigfoot will become frightened and leave the party during some cutscenes when loud noises/conflict occurs, if you do not equip earmuffs onto him.

Norm Allen: A former sheriff (now fugitive) in the annexed desert territory. Formerly an avid supporter of the order that Crown brought, and one of Crown's enforcers in his home town of [desert zone], Norm is hellbent on putting a bullet in Crown's head and dismantling his empire.

If you become friendly with Norm, you find out that the thing that Norm specifically bolted from Crown over... was the overreach of justice, and selling tyranny to his people as justice. Norm's a tank. His defense stat is middling, but his attack accuracy is locked at 100%, which is valuable in bad weather conditions or if the team gets blinded.

Norm will turn on the player if they do anything BUT prevent universal power from entering anyone's hands.

Mingus: Mingus is Crown's key enforcer/assassin. At the start of the game, she's trying to track down and execute Norm for betraying Crown, and as the plot progresses, eventually targets the player.

A stealthy cat woman, she strikes from the shadows, always, and usually after wetting the tips of her claws with a devastating poison. The poison she uses has no known antidote.

Politically, she's a fanatic, found abandoned as a kitten by Callum Crown many cycles ago. While Crown is cold with her, speaking to her like a tool, he keeps her in his service with his false promise to rewrite reality so other people like Mingus and to erase her abandonment from the timeline. Mingus secretly pines for his approval/kindness above all else, believing that helping Crown achieve her goals is the only way she'll ever feel loved. She's a potential late-game companion, being recruitable during the lategame, if you're doing Crown's ending.

There's more, but that's the gist of it. Hope this was interesting!

[artbyblastweave]

So, both Marvel and DC periodically do "fascist takeover of America" crossover events. The one I read the most of was the 2006-2010 mega-arc spanning Avengers Disassembled and Siege, where the high-profile superheroic fuckups of Avengers Disassembled, Secret War and House of M create the political climate necessary for Civil War, and the subsequent government consolidation of power over superheroes, the regulatory infrastructure created downstream of that, is then directly implicated in Norman Osborn's eventual soft takeover of the American Security State- at least until he overplays his hand and gets curbstomped in the usual status-quo reset manner. On balance I genuinely really liked this arc, which is at least partially down to nostalgia- but part of it is that I very broadly find the whole thing plausible, essentially a four-color and comparatively toothless implementation of the ideas Bendis and Millar were playing with in the Ultimate Marvel sandbox. It raises questions about Superheroic accountability that the really aggressive shooters for that idea can't really weasel out of- accountability to who? You think the fucking Bush Administration should get to sign off on what superheroes can and can't do? The freaks who got millions of people killed in the middle east with a fake-nuke fig-leaf over their hardon for the gun salesmen?

(I call this a toothless implementation because Ultimate Marvel had Bush personally, directly deploy Captain America and company in Iraq. Mainline Marvel gestured at this but, due to the number of authors involved, ended up being a lot more thematically confused in regards to whether they liked the government or not. I like Ultimate Marvel.)

Anyway. The thing about the "fascist takeover of America" plot is that even though it's typically gesturing at plausible real-life concerns- The Military Industrial complex run amok, the NSA with superpowered attack dogs, and so on- it always ends up doing so from within the superheroic idiom in a way that robs the real-life referents of their power. A slick demagogue takes over the government, but that demagogues a conventional supervillain and once you unmask him and punch him out everything is back to normal. The CIA has unleashed an army of killbots but once you destroy the secret killbot factory and arrest five or six people all is normal again in heaven and earth. There's always some inner circle, always some prime mover you can beat to a pulp about it. It's never painted as just the inevitable consequence of a significant chunk of the American populace being subsapient authoritarians who elect a bunch of criminal maniacs to enact an unmanaged suicide of the modern administrative state.

There's an extent to which doing something like this is always going to fall outside of the big-two mandate because going all in on what I'm about to talk about would put so much of a lie to the basic aspirational premise of the thing so as to make it unrecoverable. But a story I'd really like to see is a registration act situation where the superheroes are integrated under government power, it's cool, it's cool, and then over the course of a couple administrations, a couple economic downturns and maybe an adventurist overseas war it very pointedly becomes uncool. Some cornfed fascist slides into the oval office, and there is no genre-specific mitigating element. It's not because of his mind-control powers, it's not because he's a catspaw for a supervillain or an ancient conspiracy. It's just the the proven American propensity for electing evil morons- or possibly the proven American propensity for electing evil genteel politicians, norms-and-civility ghouls who drone strike exactly as many weddings as the evil morons, if not more. And now the political moment has beaten down the gates to the walled fairyland garden of the superheroic cops-and-robbers runaround, and superheroes find themselves being sicced on campus protests and whistleblowers and overseas targets, every other evil exercise of power associated with the cops and the military and the national guard, and there's no smoky backroom you can beat up to ensure a return to normalcy, because this is normal. This isn't what they signed up for. This is exactly what they signed up for.

[conkreetmonkey]

Splatoon 3 is wild because imagine if you were living in Japan due to a recent economic and cultural boom, and suddenly a space shuttle with a mutant house-sized T-rex riding it suddenly burst from the center of Mt. Fuji and disappeared into space without explanation, and all you ever find out about what the fuck that was about is that Zuckerburg mysteriously disappeared the same day and was never seen again, but still "officially" ran Meta through an open secret Queen-Elizabeth-being-in-good-health gaslighting campaign, and everybody kind of suspected he may have been connected but never figured out anything conclusive.

Also the T-rex is now orbiting the earth in the fetal position like the guy from Jojo, and there are rumors of a substance that, if touched, turns you into a half-dinosaur monster. Nobody understands any of this but Meta employees just keep going to work and pretending Zuck still exists. The same 12 prerecorded voicelines constantly squak from the PA system.

Oddly, the statue in front of Meta HQ of a T-rex eating a human changes overnight into one of a giant human eating a tiny T-rex. Nobody noticed the switch, despite the statue being in a constantly bustling area. It happened shortly after the shuttle incident.

Jack Black's tiny clone, Lil' Jack, now wears a headset at all times and has been acting really shady since the incident. Also they're both hyperintelligent, immortal velociraptors found in an ancient cryogenic chamber who spend their days judging college football and eating the legally harvested flesh of hillbillies. Lil' Jack is probably plotting to kill Big Jack, but Big Jack doesn't seem to care, growing fat and lazy, sleeping on public benches in a bed of throw pillows. Also, he's very open about the fact that, as a velociraptor, humans look delicious, but he hasn't actually eaten anybody aside from the aforementioned hillbillies because he's civil.

Everyone is just expected to move on with their lives after this. This is normal to you.

The local art school was recently attacked by giant sea serpents, which were actually hideously bioengineered hillbillies, fulfilling a biblical doomsday prophecy, and they were driven back by Meta's army of minimum wage, part time child soldiers armed with warcrimey jury-rigged weaponry. The sea serpents had giant frying pans grafted into their mouths, which launched primitive tactical nukes made by filling garbage bags with their explosive phlegm. They still exist, and occasionally defend their comrades, but spend most of their time in the deep sea.

The local homeless emo twink everyone's attracted to is a closet millionaire who sells bootleg clothing in exchange for live rats, which he messily devours behind closed doors. He's also 8 feet tall and British and only has one eye.

North Korean refugees now flood the western world, after a greasy 14 year old hipster, under the guidance of Ariana Grande and Taylor Swift, beat Kim Jong Un in a mech battle, and the EDM remix of the Japanese national anthem they performed caused like half the soldiers to immediately realize North Korea sucks ass and defect. One of these individuals, 7 foot tall hypergenius, becomes a newscaster alongside a nepo baby rapper with dwarfism who likes to eat entire jars of mayo, and also they're a popular band. Also also, they may or may not be gay. Almost the entire population is gay, so this isn't a huge deal.

The new local newscasters are a famous Japanese lion tamer, an Indian girl with a bloodline trait allowing her to control snakes, and a Brazillian man the size of a smart car who exclusively communicates via grunts.

Gods, souls and zombies are objectively real, and you're effectively immortal because real-life respawning was invented a while ago. It works like a Keurig, but with mucus instead of coffee. Submersion in water kills you.

A good deal of the population is a hivemind. They pretend to be individuals for no reason.

Almost all men are now femboys.

Despite all this, you still have to go to work at 9 tomorrow.

[boopsloop363]

One of my favorite things to bring up to folks is the correlation between global flood myths across multiple ancient civilizations. How is it that all these people who've never had contact with one another all have myths about a giant flood? Do you honestly believe it was subsistence hunter cavemen who wiped out all the megafauna? They put skilled hunters on the line every time just to kill these creatures en masse? Not to mention these megafauna are all well preserved meaning they weren't even butchered for meat. How were the great planes formed?? You think the cavemen just did that too? Core samples found in Greenland show traces of nuclear glass. Glass that's only formed through intense heat. Now I'm not suggesting we were nuked back into the stone age, that's crazy talk, but have you ever wondered why ancient civilizations were so obsessed with tracking the stars? Was it cause they were just bored? Or was it because they were watching for another meteor? Have you ever thought about the fact that humans today are nearly indistinguishable from humans 65,000 years ago? They had the same capabilities as us and yet written records only begin to appear a few thousand years ago? Doesn't that seem odd to you? Have you ever thought about how you would preserve history? Hard drives? CD's? Paper? On a long enough timeline all these things decay. Oral traditions like storytelling? Now that's a good way to ensure things get passed down but things end up getting distorted along the way. A generations long game of telephone

Tldr: history has been wiped out once before and it's likely that's it's happened multiple times. This implies that it could happen again

[insertsomthinawesome]

thoughts on a Dainsleif/Zhongli dynamic? That sounds chaotic but I feel like there are super interesting parallels that could be covered there.

I'm assuming platonic here since that's my sthick- If you meant otherwise anon no harm done!! My perception of it definitely comes a lot from like, Zhongli headcanons I think? Forgive me its been a hot second since I played Genshin, and i'm horrendously behind on Lore and stuff so if I got something wrong- No i didn't >v<b

I think its very contentious at first? Dainsleif obviously has no love for the Archons. And Zhongli is the easiest to pick on because he's been around for so. long. Its easy to look at him and go "shouldn't he of all people figured it out by now...?" But things are more complicated than that. Another clarification: I tend to run with the headcanon/theory that the Archons did not willingly kill of Khaenri'ah. They either had their hands forced by Celestia, whether that be through mind control or something like holding the safety of their people's hostage, or it was a necessary evil (although still potentially morally grey on that one. Not that the other is less messy.) So that in mind and the fact that I think if Celestia DID force their hands, they're probably barred from talking about it. For Zhongli its probably in the same contract that keeps him from talking about Celestia much period. So from Dainsleif's pov, you have this ancient deity, the oldest and therefore logically should be the wisest of them all, and instead of using that wisdom for good, he helped nuke his homeland, and leave his people to rot in their suffering. It feels like its possible he was jealous of the prosperity of the khaenri'ahns, and therefore had no issue removing the competition. But most of this is theorizing on Dainsleif's part, he can't prove anything. All he can do is pick at what flaws he actually sees, and extrapolate from there. So for Dainsleif, he has no love lost for Zhongli. I think Dainsleif is brutal and effective, but he has his honor, so while the Archons are willing to kill in cold blood, he's not willing to return the favor. If he wants to dethrone the Archons, it must be done in a manner that does not conflict with his perception of his honor (its why in that one whumptober comic i drew, he states that yes, on part he saves Zhongli because Lumine vouched for him (it could also be aether i just play lumine) but also because of his honor. There is no fairness and righteousness in leaving someone to die.) From Zhongli's POV, he has nothing but regret when it comes to Dainsleif. He cannot directly aid or interfere with the man's journey. Not without risking himself and his people. (Honestly could be part of why he stepped down as Archon. It allows him some freedom because he's less tied back to Liyue. Although Celestia would have to be kind of dense to think that meant he didn't still care about Liyue) He's civil with Dainsleif. And allows the man's spite (but tbh I think Dainsleif is... not entirely restrained, but he isn't going to actively start a fight with an Archon without good reason.)

Zhongli carries a lot of guilt from khaenri'ah and therefore that extends to Dainsleif. He rarely if ever tries to express this regret. In part because it risks him breaking his contract if he goes too far. But the other part because he can recognize that his self-pity would not go over well with Dainsleif. Zhongli is old after all, he's probably dealt with people being angry with him before. Now past that: I have thought about them a lot because i actually really enjoy the idea of their Dynamic as seen in my head. I think given time and the ability to work together- they could end up becoming effective... coworkers is the word that comes to mind. Acquaintances essentially. Protecting Teyvat but having no deep interpersonal interactions. I think Dainsleif recognizes actions over words- So given enough occasions where Zhongli enables the ability for Dainsleif to reach his goals indirectly, I think Dainsleif would start to ease a little bit on his poor opinion of Rex Lapis. it would take TIME. And he wouldn't initially trust that it meant anything. He'd probably think Zhongli had his own goals, and Dainsleif just happened to fullfill them- So it'd take quite a bit of continuous effort on Zhongli's part for Dainsleif's opinion to change. Given even more time- And for the sake explaining myself- I always imagine this happens like, "Later in game" ie when we're supposedly dealing with celestia as an actual threat- If Zhongli were to cast aside the safety of being roundabout, and actually band together to fight Celestia- That would speed up Dainsleif's opinion of him substantially. Dainsleif is also Old and there's a lot of resentment- so its not like he'd be buddying up to him. but i think it would move from This Archon I despise to -> Archon who is my temporary ally. On Zhongli's end too. I think if he was given more time to spend with Dainsleif personally, he might try to verbally express his regret about what happened? its not breaking Celestia's rules technically cause he's not explaining anything of what happened- Dainsleif already knows so its not like he needs to tell him. Dainsleif's reception of the apology would depend heavily on the situation, and when along the relationship development line they're at. But yeah definitely I can see them coming to an understanding. Dainsleif might not exactly buddy up to Zhongli- That would take a lot more time and healing and talking between the two of them. But I think active efforts that were clearly in his favor would help things. Zhongli likewise would still feel immense guilt around Dainsleif no matter what probably. But it would be encouraging to not be as heavily despised, and to get to do something about it. In terms of heavy self indulgence i love the idea of Dainsleif realizing at some point that he would infact- be upset if Zhongli died WHEEZE. Get feelings of attachment idiot. Those are my thoughts! Again i'm outdated on Genshin lore at this point- and thats probably not going to change anytime soon. But if you want my "earlier" game thoughts there you go! And most of this is based on headcanon and my own interpretation of the characters so ye.

[hel-phoenyx]

"So Hillar finally got elected, huh."

The woman standing next to me smiles bitterly.

"Indeed. It was to be expected, honestly, his popularity in Ink went through the roof... Talking about preserving the Inkan identity and such... Bah. If I didn't know any better I'd compare him to a Seraphim."

"My dear Clelia, I fear it is insulting for Seraphims."

Clelia has a tiny laugh while turning her wine glass in her hand, both our eyes turned towards the sky balcony where the World-Pier deploys itself in front of us.

Years are passing through me so discreetly I don't even know what numbers define this one. Are we in the ten thousands ? The thousands ? Or is that calendar so recent we didn't even get through two hundred. I don't know.

I just have the feeling this year is going to be remembered.

Maybe in a few years this particular time of history would be clearer in my mind than the face of this poor Clelia. Even though for me to remember the name, she must be particularly unforgettable, with her pink hair, demonic heritage, or her eyes bluer than a thousand skies.

Maybe what makes her so clear in my memories is that audacious smile, not reaching empty, void pupils.

"You sure would know, huh ? You're a scholar the likes I've never seen. You should know what a Seraphim looks like."

I nod.

"Certainly not like that murderous hobbit, I can tell you."

Those kind of words would get me a hundred bad looks in any other settings, I know that. For any others, Hillar is a good man, a great politician, even. Trying to recreate the hegemony of Ink Republic, what it means to be Inkan. In a country so crowded with every species imaginable, recreating so many cultures, I suppose he pressed on the appeal to have a real Inkan culture.

He was elected for a reason after all.

But I know the patterns, I know the words of the colonizer, and Clelia my dear foreseer is talented enough to sense the danger coming.

Hellstern is, after all, enough of an example.

We make a good match, I think. I have extended knowledge of the past and she can sense the future.

I care very little about good matches.

"I think for once he's dumb as bricks, adds Clelia. Not even realizing Ink has no culture because it absorbed every country it annexed. Also this country as is is like, tho hundred years old, at most ? Why would he want to uncover a lost legacy ?"

"Dumb is not what I would use to describe Hillar, Clelia. Obstinate is a better word."

Obstinate people care very little about facts and logic. Only about what they want to see. And Hillar wants to see one thing. The Paper continent back.

The Tyrant is walking in his shadow and I fear the Civil War coming back.

For the most part, what terrifies me is Hillar appears, even to me the expatried that haven't seen Ink up close in a long time let alone a president, for a very intelligent man.

***

I knew he was smart the moment I heard about Bel-Amour being nuked by a spell so ancient no one ever heard if it before.

I knew he was ruthless when I heard from my comrades about the deportations, the beating, the repression.

I knew he was obstinate from all the testimonies, rumors, idle chatting of the inkan Cliques I managed to infiltrate to gather intel and eat the bad apple from the inside.

I knew he was cruel when I saw come back to the barracks my lead with an arm and a horn missing.

I didn't realise the proportions that could take until I saw under a pile of rubble a lock of blood pink hair and forever empty eyes.

I still remember Isak's words in a world full of red and black.

"One day you will become the one that saw too much and that day, it will be to late to regret."

[minetteskvareninova]

One take I am absolutely sick of is the whole “dragons are nukes” comparison making rounds in the ASOIAF fandom.

Literally how?! They certainly don’t have the destructive ability of nuclear weapons; AT BEST they reach the level of conventional bombers, and they probably were truly equivalent to those back in the Valyrian Empire, where there were hundreds of them. But in Westeros during the Targaryen era?! There’s never more than about a dozen of ridden dragons - which is another thing. A dragon without a rider is useless or worse. The ability to ride dragons is (intentionally, at least in part) confined within a single ruling family, and even that family relies on ancient knowledge from the now extinct civilization to even be able to use them. The destructive potential of the entire useable dragon population at any point in Targaryen history just doesn’t fucking compare to a fleet of bombers, though admittedly it doesn’t have to - since noone else has them and the only way to counteract them, that is, the Dornish scorpions, seems to be in limited supply, they can get much closer to their targets at ideal conditions (as opposed to conducting raids by night) and hit them with greater accuracy. As a nice bonus, the collateral damage they cause is actually lower, because they don’t have to destroy everything around them to make absolutely sure they hit their intended target. Either way, it’s absolutely preposterous to compare the destruction a dozen dragons can cause with an entire fucking nuclear arsenal.

They certainly don’t have the strategic implications that nukes carry - the one characteristic of nuclear warfare since its first and only uses on Hiroshima and Nagasaki is how much we AVOID using them in order to not make our rivals even think it’s acceptable to do the same. In fact, the mere possibility of using nukes is often used as a strategy - a concept known as nuclear deterrence (https://acoup.blog/2022/03/11/collections-nuclear-deterrence-101/) You could maybe argue that the Targs are using dragons as deterrents too, at least internally - but that doesn’t mean that much, because a) internally, they are good deterrents, but guess what, so is a regular professional army of a stable modern state (which is a bit out of reach for medieval rulers, so dragons are a workable substitute); b) externally, they don’t seem to work all that well, see all the squabbling over Stepstones, where dragons did help in battles against the Free Cities, but they certainly didn’t deter them from fighting in the first place.

Lastly, the cultural view of dragons is very different. Again, there is no moral weight attached to them like there is in our world. People are certainly afraid of them, but aren’t appalled at the mere thought of using them at all and don’t claim owning them makes Targaryens as a whole complete monsters. Sure, Viserys in the show and I am sure some people in-universe can be apprehensive, but that doesn’t seem to be the majority opinion. In Westeros, dragons are simply particularly strong weapons used by one family of feudal lords to get ahead of their competitors, terrifying, but not any different in their moral implications from, say, ballistae. But many people still use that comparison in order to evoke those moral implications IN THE READER, no matter how stupid and inaccurate it is.

Which is ultimately what bugs me the most. The comparison is not only inaccurate, it’s lazy and shallow; it doesn’t tell us anything deeper about dragons in ASOIAF, and in fact it obfuscates not only our view of the dragons in this fictional universe (which while harmless is still annoying as fuck) but of nuclear weapons (and conventional bombers, for that matter) in real life.

Because yes, giant fire breathing reptiles are terrifying. But we, the people of the post-industrial age, have outdone them. Wars in our era regularly cause destruction that medieval lord, even fantasy ones owning magical beasts, could merely dream of - and the worst part is, we do not seem to even realize it.

@horizon-verizon

[bitsbug]

i want to hear your gourm thoughts they are a very important character to me

oh goodness. oh man. ok let me organize myself

So basically I think Gourmand embodies the core message of Downpour (perhaps even better than Saint), because Downpour's grander story and his campaign are about deconstructing the ancients' legacy.

Gourmand is basically a perfect antithesis to what the ancients believed in. They thought that one should ascend, and wish to ascend, and to do so they should deny themselves every worldly pleasure or attachment. Gourmand, in contrast, has a whole family he clearly cares for, eats well and luxuriously, and demonstrates an incredible capacity for violence in his campaign! Seriously Gourmand is one of two slugcats who can kill things without any weapons. ALSO HE CAN CRAFT NUKES.

Pebbles even clearly states that Gourmand has no desire to ascend! They're fully capable of doing so, but it's not any significant part of their story. And despite (or because of) how they so brazenly oppose the old philosophy, they thrive!! Gourmand is like the most uniformly positive campaign in mood, and it centers around himself! where rivulet or spearmaster are basically vectors for the iterators' drama, Gourmand has no business with either. He truly does not care for the civilization of the past, and it's like.. objectively a good thing for him. He singlehandedly proves that ascension is not the only option in life, and the world can be appreciated rather than denied.

Compare this to how Downpour plays out. The timeline follows the gradual decay of what's left of the old world, as the machine gods buckle to the elements and even something as grand as the weather starts to forget the ancients' touch. It says that the old world would not matter in the end, falling back as the cycle churned on. And despite the increasing bleakness, life continues! In Saint we can literally see how lizards have adapted, how the scavengers have been finding new prosperity even as dear Pebbles crumbles around them. Despite not taking place in that era, Gourmand's story still calls to that same message. Perhaps that's the true cycle, then?

[persephinae]

you know what, from a world building perspective, nuking southern Thedas is fucking stupid

ok, southern Thedas is nuked, the survivors have nowhere else to go, so guess where they're going? North.

We have Minrathous, Treviso, and whatever other big city in Rivain that they didn't show so they could have Arrrghh Pirates! for LOF.

There will be resentment and fear of having enough resources for the displaced refugees, and GOD HELP any southern Thedans seeking refuge in Tevinter due to the schism in their faiths.

There's going to be civil wars/religious wars fought over this because now we have 2 VERY different sides of a religion being smooshed together and fucking Tevinter STILL has slavery despite how very much Veilguard downplayed it.

like is Solas going to come out of retirement, arrive in a big flash of light in the middle of their war conclaves and go, "hey, your religions are stupid and not real, it was all a misunderstanding over ancient magics. The Maker isn't real and also, if I haven't made it clear enough, your religion is stupid." Then poof out back to the Fade?

Like Fereldan is small potatoes compared to the other countries, but Orlais vs Tevinter, who both had Holy Marches against each other numerous times? It'll be Holy March the 4th time.

Lavellan will tiredly have to resist the urge to strangle Solas (again), put on her little Inquisitor outfit and try to calm everyone down, while the Super Secret Circle of Bad Guys From Across the Sea twirl their mustaches and go "Yesss, yesss, all according to keikaku (*that means plan)"

Like if Bioware really really leaned into this and had something to say, maybe they could pull it off, but lol currently that's not them.

[themoonshoes]

ok my review of wilds now that im done w the low rank story and almost done with hr

i feel like. this was not as bad as people were making it sound LMAO like ive been playing these games for over a decade just WAITING for them to acknowledge ancient civilization stuff and the equal dragon weapon and like. CRUMBSSS of the ethics of the hunting guild and stuff and this got pretty close to scratching that itch! was the story perfect? hell no! it got pretty weird with some of the characterization of the indigenous villages in a pretty 'oh we have no idea what weapons are! what is this hunting monsters' and like ok come on be real with me right now. i like the twist of the guardians (even though i wish they'd given at least one elder dragon for us to hunt post-story, but i get that that didn't work for the story they were telling) and the concept of the dragon torch being sort of an energy well for the wyverians to create their technologies and stuff that's cool. zoh shia was cool and freakey and ok it was a fatalis reskin but im also not convinced we'll never see it again also considering we dont get an armor set for it (which i understand the knee-jerk reaction to get mad about, and it IS annoying, but obviously the dev team isn't done with it.). i actually also like having my hunter be voiced even though i was like what do you mean im playing monster hunter and picking dialogue options!!!! it's a characterization of your hunter that really does make you feel like That Guy imo, like yeah hell yea im gonna go kill this nuke of a dragon. there are story aspects that i wish they'd spent a little more time on—who is authorizing me to hunt, specifically? in early game when you go to hunt a monster you haven't gotten a quest for, alma tells you repeatedly that you don't have authorization, but what would be the downside to me continuing the hunt? it would force another gameplay mechanic to include some kind of bounty or karma system, but there's already in universe checks and balances for the guild hunters (guild knights), so it's weird that they'd include that detail for what seems like nothing.

as far as gameplay aspects go—it's insane to me that some of the seikret mobility options were the default. like no game ever has you just auto move towards your target by default. that should have either been an option you choose at the start of the game, or you should have had to choose it once you get into the game. i mostly use glaive and light bowgun and those both feel great; i actually love what they've done with the glaive even though i still feel like it's a slower weapon than it used to be, but the new combos feel really good to do and it doesn't feel like i'm just mindlessly button mashing as much. the balancing for the hunts feels slightly skewed easy, maybe a little tailored for people who have never played a mh game before, but that also has been the MO since world (including rise, which was an easy game for babies), so i didn't expect anything else, but like. i didn't even notice that i didn't have access to powercharm or the armorcharm until i got the latter as a quest reward lol. so idk maybe the expansion and g-rank will add a little more challenge but i'm fine with it where it is i guess. i wish the roster was bigger it's kind of a lame lineup lol but that's what post-release updates are for i guess. i was saying that once the expansion comes out and all title updates have hit it has the potential to be one of the best mh games out there, just with the potential it already has. (which, and this is a conversation for a different post, but games are so Big now, and require so much dev time, that it doesn't surprise me they announced title update content before launch. it tells me that it'll be a while before g-rank though which. ok.)

so tldr—not my favorite monster hunter game (yet!), but it's definitely not the worst. the high i got from entering suja for the first time and saying out loud to myself oh We Are Doing This Aren't We paired with the "by my own authorization" line is enough to make me sink 100+ hours into this idk! bitch i love monster hunter!

[nekosoda]

We all probably know this Hiroshima wannabe so I wont introduce it <3

AHEM AHEM

Please inform me if I had any mistakes!

Spoiler under cut!!!!!

I just realised this had cubes.PURE cubes.Unlike...

HER cubes.

This is like 5000+ years old ATLEAST 5000 and was dropped after the 2nd who came had been "defeated" there are also constellations surrounding it

This is like 500 years old,back when Khaenri'ah was destroyed

This was the first time a civilization was destroyed by Celestia

This is the most recent civilization that was destroyed by Celestia (that we know of)

Why not just nuke again?Why go to ALL this trouble?

We know that the cubes belong to the Sustainer of heavenly principals,she probably had a role in Khaenri'ah 's fall

In the comic "Prolouge:The songs of the wind" Lind and Vanessa stated that Celestia was seemingly closer.That takes place 2600 years ago.Celestia could've just like,yk nuked yk,like,why not???Why go trough so much trouble after 2100 years????You're already close why destroy it like this??

Wth happened also why cubes go emo did they get corrupted???In Mondstat we saw Dvalin's corruption big boy litteraly changed colors *kinda similiar to certain cubes hmmm* Venti as Barbatos,an Archon,fell into slumber (For about 500 years If I remember correctly) Only the prayers and cries of his people were the things that woke him up.After the situation had been dealt with,Barbatos would always return to the forest,and not be seen until another crisis strikes (Probably still recovering from Durin's poison)

In Liyue,Morax had to call the Yaksha's,only for them to all go insane and succumb to the abyss,except for Xiao,who still has to fight monsters restlessly,with karmic debt only Venti,an Archon can purify.

In Inazuma,Makoto fell in battle,Ei's friends also died.The Ancient Sakura tree,which appeared with Istaroth's help,collects the filth of the nation,yet there are still those ANOYING FUCKING ABYSS WOLFS THAT I FUCKING HATE I HOPE THEY ROT IN HELL ONESHOTS MY LVL 80 NAHIDA AND 70 LVL KOKOMI AS IF 3K HP PER HEAL IS NOTHING AAAAAAAAAAAA-,roaming around the nation.

In Sumeru Rukkhadevata spent all her power fighting forbidden knowledge,created Nahida,got also corrupted by forbidden knowledge,trapped her conciousness in Irminsul,waited for Nahida to erase her from Irminsul so she could carry Forbidden knowledge to the coffin with her.

After writing all this,I realize,Its people that are related with time and wind that clean after the corruption,all being related to Istaroth in some kind of way.Istaroth has always been the only shade to fight alongside humanity,stated in the book "Before sun and moon" While The sustainer destroys and leaves chaos in its wake,Istaroth is the only shade with mercy,helping clean up.

What happened holy shit this was long hello????Thanks for reading this far!!!

[astrxlfinale]

I still sit here and ponder on this scene now and again.

Given how much we've come to learn about Zenless now days. The original task that the Cunning Hares took as a job had to be huge for the behind the scenes. Naturally since this involves the debut of Fairy joining Phaethon. But, there's this detail of the barrage of TVs everywhere that really sets in motion another detail.

This some attempted offshoot of Carole Anna's work. Given that a Hollow did just happen to combust into being here, and reaching a dangerous high off the cuff? The mission here always reeked of suspicion here.

Now I don't imagine that Nicole would up and happily just work for the Institute. Similar to a lot of connections we see her have, it's likely someone she does favor in there, at least enough to pick up this task. Let's keep in mind that this is for Rosetta Data, basically an algorithm so potent that you can just travel in the Hollows like its your damn backyard.

Part of me wants to picture that this person is in the same vein of big leagues as the 'Before Miracles began' trailer.

The HDD system also have many high hands. (Yeah, we're talking about TOPS here) actively trying recreate Carole's old work as well. It's actually in the event with 'Chaotic Fried Rice' aka Astra Yao we learn a tidbit on this.

This was actually her this whole time. She utilized this as a means to sneak around undercover. (To her lucky success.) It's not only potential success with the HDD itself, but the program (to a less successful degree) that actively replicated the system Carole left behind for Phaethon to utilize. To get this far reflects a level of commitment they want to outright monopolize in my book.

A plan they often enjoy employing is 'limit testing' measures through the usage of events or 'kindnesses' they dole out. This way they can come to grasp information for their privatized usage. Case and point? We learn outright the whole fiasco here (since the HIA found itself funded by TOPS for this project was this.) Yet it's the scale of how far that very information goes.

It can outright copy someone's DNA structure down to the molecule which was the pre-req for even undoing Miyabi's sheathe upon Tailless. Authentication like that even finds itself useless once (and its morbidly hilarious to think on it like this) your personal data finds itself stolen. In terms of biological structure and combat experience, they have a great amount of details on her now.

Just as an extra fun tidbit in 1.4. This new plan to assassinate Miyabi was one of TOPS/The Order many attempts to outright take her out. The Virtual mayhem story, using information on Tailess and making an etheric agent to make it freak out in the Outer Ring, to outright agitating Tailless to the point she'd become a mass murderer during Bringer's speech presentation.

And that in itself all began with a story you see in her trailer. When she, Yanagi and Harumasa all stood up against a TOPS consultant that just wanted to nuke a portion of the city, primarily for a business advantage.

I'm really digging to how a lot of these pieces are gradually coming to the light, the more we come to learn about more of the factions. Makes me really excited to see where the Obol squad, and the defense force's war in general is all about.

Leaning back to the original point however! We've come to learn just how valuable Phaethon's technology really is. They're protagonist that don't work with amnesia, but really requiring a specialized circle of trust for their wider goals at hand. While yes, protags, seeing the motive and how they push towards uncovering that truth towards the past has me intrigued. Seeing how their teacher; Carole Arna used to be a member of TOPS, it's likely some gritty circumstances her breakthroughs wound up leading too.

So much so they actively had a staged invasion by The Order performed to just keep her under wraps, that's how close she was to the old possibilities of the ancient civilization.

[beardedmrbean]

[Huey Zoomer Anon]

I saw someone pointed out the whole complaints about white saviors in media….and the media they use is social Darwinist to your standards American slop

Just because American media is popular, doesn’t mean everyone use it as their sole basics for literature

Including other Americans like me

Yet still

>the left complain about white saviorism

>Proceed to try to force 20th century to modern first world feminism into everything

>Want more diversity

>Try to force LA or NYC style diversity into everything

>Want to tell more non white cultures

>Primarily use Americans or gentrified non whites who shown to have a lot of contempt to their ancestral roots but hate white people more

>Can’t comprehend the SURVIVAL reasons for many gender roles and think one ounce of conservatism is bad

Sorry everyone, I viewing a twitter account how a writer named Reggie Hudlin, who worked at BET and got bash in boondocks….and banned the episode that made fun of BET and him on air for a couple of years. Basic nuked the African Atlantis idea of Wakanda and turn into a black hyperborea

This sums it up https://x.com/thardus2150/status/1878223154117574719?s=46

Seriously can anyone explain how the crimson fuck so many black Americans develop this mindset

“I know this mindset allowed the Europeans, Muslims, Japanese, Chinese, etc. to justify irreversible damage to other humans in human history. But it A-Okay for black people to be it!”

There is no Jerusalem or Canaan in African for African Americans or another orher African Diaspora!

Ugh we had an African American (rip sir) that went to outer space in the 1980’s. You know about 120 years after slavery was banned? Not to mention even 40 years prior to the black astronauts. It was agree upon idea that people of color (side note I hate that term) couldn’t fly until the Tuskegee raiders broke that myth.

Hmm, not to shit on the 80’s-00’s…but anyone else think that Hollywood is… mainly stuck on how you could portray diversity?

Like…can I see a non biblical version of Judea where given it being in the crossroads of many places. It would be natural for ancient people to visit or use it as a stop in their journey

This I constantly praise assassin creed even decade old games because they show the different mindset among black groups they in the colonial era slaves. Some slaves wanted to end slavery and make a more equal world. Others like the Haitian Maroons was consume by vengeance and wanted to slaughter all Europeans. Which lead to….modern Haiti…

Another thing, people are point out all these African folklore and civilizations Hollywood can use. But are Hollywood content creators INTERESTED in Africa a proper continent with multiple cultures and countries to by inspired by

Or are they stuck in the old Social Darwinist view of it?

I think we need to keep that in mind, like the rest of the world had mostly moved on from those ideas of different countries and cultures

But have Hollywood? Do they see African cultures as proper ones?

I was thinking about American Society of Magical Negeroes. I pointed out, though funny enough stuff like Disney American Dragon did long before me. That Black Americans magical user just like whites would mainly use the regional or local common practices. IE Druid or Lovecraft worshippers in the East. Voodoo practices in the south, etc.

I just think…the left is doing 50’s style of how to portray different cultures with a Marxist hat. Do I make sense?

Not gonna paste the whole bit before this, but I will touch on it since it all can be hit with one observation.

>Can’t comprehend the SURVIVAL reasons for many gender roles and think one ounce of conservatism is bad

Yesterday or the day before I saw a post on here that was talking about the lack of Asians and Asian representation in media, got a person popping in with a list of cool current year asian celebrities.

With the added comment in the post somewhere about how they're not Asian, they're Asian American which is different and people need to recognize that.

Seriously can anyone explain how the crimson fuck so many black Americans develop this mindset

Wish I knew

There is no Jerusalem or Canaan in African for African Americans or another orher African Diaspora!

Ya we've hit on that before, might be one of the reasons the hoteps are so big on Egypt despite all evidence to the contrary.

Africa is a big place too, would be a whole lot of different ones if they could be identified.

Ugh we had an African American (rip sir) that went to outer space in the 1980’s. You know about 120 years after slavery was banned? Not to mention even 40 years prior to the black astronauts. It was agree upon idea that people of color (side note I hate that term) couldn’t fly until the Tuskegee raiders broke that myth.

NASA has had a bunch, in as much as society and the government would allow they've always gone with the person who can do the job being who they picked to do the job, there was recruitment issues though sadly.

The nonsense people say today about having to work 5 times harder than a straight white male to get ahead was less nonsensical back in the late 70's, but thankfully NASA heard there was someone asking why there were no women or minorities in the program and they invited her to come and see if she could help do something about that.

I really hope everyone involved in that universe has some grasp on how important they are still, maybe not the jj abrams part but most of the rest.

I love NASA because NASA heard her and said let's fix this, please come help us fix that problem.

(Sorry this is where i nerd out, stopping myself from writing 20 pages here)

Like…can I see a non biblical version of Judea where given it being in the crossroads of many places. It would be natural for ancient people to visit or use it as a stop in their journey

It shows up, but the significance of the area to so many different religions you're not likely to escape that kind of thing completely.

Another thing, people are point out all these African folklore and civilizations Hollywood can use. But are Hollywood content creators INTERESTED in Africa a proper continent with multiple cultures and countries to by inspired by

I'd like to see it,

But have Hollywood? Do they see African cultures as proper ones?

Wouldn't see why not, if not it's gotta be easy enough to get a meeting with some researchers and other professionals, including people that live in them.

I was thinking about American Society of Magical Negeroes. I pointed out, though funny enough stuff like Disney American Dragon did long before me. That Black Americans magical user just like whites would mainly use the regional or local common practices. IE Druid or Lovecraft worshippers in the East. Voodoo practices in the south, etc. I just think…the left is doing 50’s style of how to portray different cultures with a Marxist hat. Do I make sense?

They're doing that with a lot of things, the fear of getting the 'canceled treatment™' is holding lots of stories back from being told I'd wager.

Which as of late fells like a reasonable fear, play it safe and keep the place open or take a risk and maybe get huge or possibly go into ruin.

Fortune doesn't always favor the bold no matter what the proverb says.

[self-loving-vampire]

You might be interested to know that strategy games like Civilization actually ARE heavily stereotyped as right wing and male in some circles. These are niche parts of the playerbases, but they are real.

They are separate groups of people who hate each other, however. Right wing people like the twitter jerk think as you saw, that the stereotype is real and good. Other conservatives think all video games are bad, so the stereotype is also real. Conservative feminists think it is real because all video games are for men. Plenty of the fandoms of the games think the stereotypes are funny, and plenty of the playerbases think those who find it funny are literally Hitler.

Joking about Gandhi with nukes is the same as strangling babies in real life, and that's why it's based and the Jews want to take your games away, but they are right to do so because the games are brainwashing naturally violent men into thinking etc etc etc etc. It's all the same sort of culture war stuff.

Instead of first person shooters training children to murder, strategy games train them to oppress populations (and that is bad or good depending on your politics).

I had heard about the stereotype, what confused me is what point the twitter person is trying to make by it exactly.

Like, do they really think video games are an adequate replacement for a history education?

Do they think actual wars, even ancient ones, worked anything like that?

Do they think the armchair generals who played a lot of Total War are some kind of effective force for gaining power or something?

There's just a ton of really embarrassing, parody-like assumptions baked into that whole thing to the point where I'm not even sure what it's trying to imply.

The leaps of logic that person seemed to be making don't lead to anything that makes sense to me, so I figured it was maybe some kind of satire, or that there's something I wasn't getting. I do think it's probably a bit or something.