#911 ls 4x04

[existential-queeer]

I felt so wrong when I literally jumped around and started giggling when I saw the preview for the next episode.

Is Carlos being held hostage? Yes.

Is Carlos being hurt? Also yes.

Is this something to be rejoicing about? No.

BUT LISTEN HEAR ME OUT OKAY?!

It's always TK getting hurt. All the Tarlos whump comes from TK. We FINALLY get to see it reversed. It'll be TK losing his shit and worrying about CARLOS for once.

Do I want Carlos to be hurt? No.

But do I want the absolute GOLDEN Tarlos angst and whump that'll come from it? Absofuckinlutely

[aesthetictarlos]

4x04 - Abandoned

The parallels in this episode are everything.

TK sensing that something's wrong because Carlos didn't answer his texts/calls just like Carlos worried when his texts went unanswered.

TK going to Gabriel and Andrea's to make sure Carlos wasn't there and then asking for help just like Carlos went to Owen's.

TK and Gabriel investigating to find Carlos just like Carlos and Owen investigated to find TK.

TK finding Carlos and going straight to him while Gabriel points the gun at the criminal just like Carlos found TK and ran straight to him while Owen held up the gun.

TK saving Carlos' life with Narcan just like Owen saved TK'S in the pilot (and they injected the Narcan in the same leg like Ronen said!!)

TK holding his breath while waiting for the Narcan to take effect just like Carlos did when TK woke up from this coma until TK told him to breathe.

The ambulance scene. Gabriel asking TK if he's going with Carlos just like he asked Carlos the same thing when TK was hurt.

I'm sure I'm missing something else but I'm still processing the episode so here we go.

[cowboytarlos]

Let’s not think about how TK must have felt when the first thing Carlos did when resuscitated was to shout in a panic “get off me” because Carlos thought he was still in danger.

Let’s not.

[crownspeaksblog]

"Sometimes i feel all the love she had for him. She's sending it through me. Otherwise i don't know where all this love comes from."

[bluenet13]

Whisking Away Your Pain (a 9-1-1 Lone Star post 4x04 fic)

Carlos is struggling to come to terms with his trauma from captivity, avoiding the kitchen and losing his love for cooking and baking, but TK is there to help him heal, one home-cooked meal at a time.

AO3

It had been a few months since Carlos had been kidnapped by the serial killer who had taken Iris. TK and Gabriel had managed to rescue him, and his physical injuries had healed, but the experience had left its mark on him. In the immediate aftermath, Carlos was assaulted by nightmares, more often than not waking up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, his fight or flight response activated as he trashed against the sheets until his brain processed TK's arms around him and he was able to relax. During the day things weren't much better, as any sudden movement made him jump and he found it hard not to fear the worst after every case. All in all, given the experience, Carlos had seemed relatively normal, if a little shaken up.

But as the weeks went by, TK started to notice that some things were different now.

They had finished their shifts and were on their way home after Carlos picked TK up from the station. As they drove through the city, TK couldn't help but notice that Carlos seemed distant, lost in thought.

"Hey, you okay?" TK asked, breaking the silence.

Carlos shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I'm just tired."

TK didn't believe him, but he didn't want to push. They arrived home, and TK started to prepare some dinner. "Do you want to help me cook?" he wondered, but Carlos shook his head.

"I'm not really hungry," he said, settling himself on the couch with the book he always kept on the coffee table. "Maybe I'll order something later."

TK felt a pang of worry. Carlos had always loved cooking and seeing him avoid the kitchen was a sign that something was wrong. But maybe Carlos really was tired so he would give him the benefit of the doubt for now.

A few nights later, TK woke up in the middle of the night, and he realized that Carlos was gone. Turning around, he touched the sheets beside him, and they were still warm. His first thought was that Carlos had gone to the kitchen to bake something, as he often did when a case left him anxious, or life was too stressful. He began getting out of bed, reaching for his discarded hoodie from last night so he could go accompany him, but then he heard the front door open and close, quietly but not enough, and knew that Carlos had gone out for another run instead. He sighed, running a hand through his hair, and turned to the clock on the bedside table. He got a sinking feeling when it read '4:04'. This was the third time this week he woke up to Carlos leaving the apartment or coming in sweaty and disheveled after a run.

TK didn't sleep much for the next hour that Carlos was gone. He tossed and turned in the bed, wishing there was something he could do to help, only managing to fall back asleep at around 5:30 after Carlos had returned and gotten a shower, before grabbing his keys and going out again. Even then he only slept for an additional half hour, finally getting out of bed with a tired grunt, showering and heading into work himself.

That night, TK decided to talk to Carlos about what was going on. He was all for giving him space and letting him work through problems on his own, but the day he had asked Carlos to marry him he had known they would become one after that, which included the fun times, but also the individual struggles and whatever else life threw at them.

"Carlos, can we talk?" He asked softly, coming to stand behind him. He lifted on his toes and set his chin on his shoulder, sighing when he saw Carlos perusing a takeout menu.

"Hmm," Carlos hummed in acknowledgement and tipped his head to his side, looking at TK out of the corner of his eye.

"You haven't been cooking as much as you used to," he said, rushing to add when he felt Carlos tense in his arms. "I'm all for takeout every once in a while, but I miss your cooking, baby."

Carlos still looked at him apprehensively, but he nodded with a smile that managed to look mostly real even if it didn't reach his eyes. "Sorry, things have been busy at work. I've been too tired to cook afterwards."

TK wished he could believe him, but he knew Carlos better than that. He usually loved cooking and baking as ways to relieve stress. It also kept them happy and fed, a welcomed plus in the 'Reyes family manual'. But lately he'd been avoiding the kitchen and it was all kinds of wrong.

"You've also been going for runs in the middle of the night. Are you okay?" TK pressed tentatively and rubbed his arm in an attempt to get him to open up.

Carlos hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "I'm fine." He paused, and TK waited expectantly hoping he would decide to be honest instead, but Carlos put up his best cheerful facade and asked enthusiastically, "So, do you want pizza or burgers?"

"A burger is fine," TK said dejectedly. Carlos might think his words were convincing, but TK knew him better than he knew himself and he was sure he was lying. Still, he didn't want to push too hard and have him close off completely, so he let it go for now and decided to watch Carlos more closely from now on, hoping he could figure out what was really going on.

A few weeks later, TK came home from the gym to find Carlos sitting in their living room, staring blankly at the wall. He had baked some cookies earlier, and the sweet smell still filled the room.

"Hey, I made cookies," TK said, a soft and proud smile gracing his lips. "Did you try one?" He held out the plate with one hand and took a bite of a cookie with the other.

Carlos recoiled, his eyes wide with what could only be described as fear. "No," he said, his voice shaking. "No, I didn't."

TK frowned and put down the plate. He sat on the couch next to Carlos and turned to face him, grabbing his hands. "What's going on, babe?" he asked. "It's just a cookie?" He knew it was about more than that, but he needed Carlos to want to contradict him.

Carlos sighed and looked up at TK with tears in his eyes. "It's not that I don't want to. I can't." His voice cracked at the end and TK's heart broke alongside it.

"Okay, that's okay," he soothed, his thumb brushing back and forth over Carlos' hand. "Why?"

Carlos rested his head on TK's chest, whispering against his shirt as he explained, "It's the kitchen. I was held in the kitchen all day. And she baked cookies. She made me try one."

TK's heart sank as he understood what Carlos was saying. He had known Carlos was held in the house, but he had found him in the living room, and he had never mentioned the kitchen until now. He had wanted to read the full report of what happened, but Gabriel had kept it from him, promising it was for the best. Now he wished he had pushed harder.

"Why didn't you say something before?" he asked, moving his arms to Carlos' back pushing their bodies incredibly closer.

"Because I feel stupid," Carlos mumbled, laughing self-deprecatingly. "I'm a cop, I've seen worse. I shouldn't be traumatized by an old lady baking cookies."

"Carlos, look at me," TK pleaded. He pulled away and cupped Carlos's face. "You didn't see this happen, you lived through it. This is something that happened to you, not a case you worked. And you've every right to react to it any way your brain decides to. It's not stupid and it doesn't make you weak."

Carlos nodded, but TK could still see fear and shame mixed in his eyes. "I can't even smell cookies without feeling sick," Carlos admitted. "I can't cook, I can barely set foot in the kitchen for longer than a few minutes. Every time it's like I'm trapped there again."

TK put his arm around Carlos, holding him close. "It's okay. You don't have to do anything you're not ready for. We can keep ordering takeout and I can take the cookies to the station tomorrow when I go on shift. I'm sorry I baked them, I didn't know."

"No, no, TK. This isn't your fault. None of this is your fault," Carlos said, needing him to understand that.

TK opened his mouth to protest, but Carlos pushed up and silenced him with a kiss. "I'm alive because of you. You realized I was missing. You got my dad and APD involved. You made the connection to the pharmacy. Hell, you brought me back, TK."

"But I didn't realize any of that soon enough," TK whispered against his lips.

"I didn't make it easy on you. But you still got there in time and saved me." Carlos wasn't sure of many things right now, but he was sure he had brought it all on himself when he decided to lie to his fiancé and go investigate on his own. But luckily, he had chosen to give his heart to a man that always noticed the things he tried to keep hidden from the world. And it had been that connection and that loyalty that saved him. He had told TK those exact same words many times since he was released from the hospital, and he knew he would continue to repeat them every time self-doubt crept up on him.

TK nodded, pulling Carlos into a tender kiss before guiding him to sit between his legs and rest his head on his shoulder.

Carlos leaned into TK's embrace, his body silently shaking with sobs. He wanted to speak, say something to thank him, but the love and gratitude he felt for his fiancé and his gentle understanding overwhelmed him. All he could do was hold onto TK, and let his strength carry them both through the pain.

"It's okay. Let it out. We'll get through this," TK promised, a hint of sadness in his voice.

TK continued to hold Carlos until his tears ran out and his breath evened out. And that night there were no nightmares or midnight runs as Carlos found peace in the simple knowledge that he was loved deeply by the man next to him and that TK was loved as fiercely in return.

-x-x-x

A few days had passed since Carlos had opened up to him. TK had been keeping an eye on him, but otherwise, hadn't brought up the subject again. He knew from experience sometimes all you needed was time, and to know that you had someone willing to catch you when you fell.

One Friday night, TK was sitting on the couch, checking his phone, when Carlos came in from the grocery store with bags full of ingredients. TK looked up hopefully, curious and thrilled by the sight.

"What's all this for?" He asked, grabbing some of the bags and helping Carlos set everything on the counter.

Carlos looked up, a faint smile on his face. "I thought we could make my mom's chilaquiles," he proposed. "It's been a while since I cooked, and I think it would be nice to try."

TK could see the hesitation in Carlos' eyes, but there was also so much determination behind his brown gaze. He had always known Carlos was one of the strongest people he knew but seeing him work through his trauma like this caused a surge of pride deep in his chest.

"Sure, I'd love to help," he said, nodding enthusiastically, but also trying not to make a big deal of it. He was surprised but didn't want to question what felt like a gift. "What do you need me to do?"

Carlos' smile deepened, more at ease now, and he began walking TK through the instructions he remembered by heart. They chopped veggies, grated cheese, and boiled chicken, working side by side in the small kitchen, their shoulders brushing every once in a while, and their hands tangling momentarily, as they felt more normal than any other time in the last few months.

TK could see the tension in Carlos' shoulder start to ease as they worked. As TK's warmth and presence anchored him, his movements became more confident, his hands working deftly as he cut vegetables, shredded the kitchen and prepared the homemade sauce.

They finished preparing the chilaquiles in comfortable silence, the air thick with the aroma of spices and roasting peppers, but no longer heavy with unspoken words and hidden traumas.

When the dish was ready, they served it up and sat down to eat. TK's first bite felt like a revelation, not because he was surprised at the explosion of flavors, but because this dish was the physical representation of Carlos' fight against the demons of his abduction and the proof that he was healing and coming out the other side victorious.

Carlos savored the chilaquiles, and his eyes misted, a faint, grateful smile playing at the corners of his mouth. It was a small but genuine expression, and TK felt the pieces of their life begin to slide back into place. "Thanks for doing this with me," Carlos whispered between bites, rubbing TK's thigh with his socked foot under the table.

"Of course," TK replied simply. He knew that this statement applied to this moment and every other moment in their lives. He would gladly do anything for Carlos, even if it meant walking into the depths of hell to find him sooner and reduce his trauma even a little bit. "I'm proud of you for trying to cook again. And I'm glad we could do this together," he added, feeling his affection for the man sitting in front of him grow with each moment they spent together.

As they finished their meal, Carlos and TK basked in the peaceful stillness that had settled over the kitchen. Their minds and bodies connected by the intertwined fingers resting on the table and the unspoken acknowledgement of what this dinner meant to them and their recovery.

"Maybe next Friday we can try my mom's Hamantaschen Cookies?" TK tentatively suggested, as they carried the dishes to the sink.

"I'd like that," Carlos said softly. He wished he could express how much the offer meant to him, but that part of his captivity was still too raw to share. For now, he settled on TK knowing how much he's loved. "Want to watch a movie?" He tugged at TK's hand, leading him to the couch for a cozy evening together.

"Not washing dishes? Andrea would be appalled." TK teased, but Carlos kissed the grin right off his face.

"Cleaning can wait till tomorrow," Carlos said, his eyes soft and vulnerable. "Let's enjoy the moment. Tonight, I just want to be close to you."

TK's heart swelled with affection for Carlos, and he wrapped his arms around him, holding him close. They watched the movie in companionable silence, enjoying the simple pleasure of feeling safe and being close to the one they loved.

[kelseyafterdark]

It’s always “I love you” and never “Babe you saved your own life. I was just holding onto it for a little while”😭😭😭

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

missing

sooo hi! I haven’t posted any of my writing on tumblr in a long time lol, but I thought about it and I figured, eh, I might as well for this one :). And since I haven’t done this in so long, mas, I’m kind of stealing your format a bit. Sorry about that :p. Anyway, this is actually my first lone star fic! That I’ve posted, that is. I have another one I’ve been working on for a while (it’s not extremely long but motivation and inspiration are fickle things), which I will hopefully post soon :). But when there wasn’t a fic about this the day after the episode (I lasted a night of resisting the idea lol), this possessed me xd. This takes place the morning after 4x03. I hope you enjoy :D!!

trigger warnings: talk of kidnapping

~

TK woke with a start and a flash of anxiety, both of which were caused by his phone ringing. Ever since his mom, he always felt like he was going to get bad news. It was getting better, and then everything with Iris’s disappearance had spiked it again. But this was fine. Iris was back, so that was over. The anxiety started to recede, still humming in the background, but TK ignored it as he fumbled to grab his phone. He squinted automatically at its light, and he tried to see who was calling, but his eyes hadn’t adjusted after a few seconds so he just answered it.

“Hello?” he answered groggily.

“TK Strand?”

He sat up slightly.

“Uh- Yeah,” he responded. “Who is this?”

“Police Sergeant Sykes-” TK’s heart jumped into his throat, and he forcibly swallowed it back down. “I’m Officer Reyes’s boss. And you’re his fiancé, correct?”

“Oh, yeah, we- Yeah, we met once,” TK recalled vaguely. It had been a brief interaction when he was picking Carlos up from a shift. “Sorry, what do you need?”

“It’s fine,” Sergeant Sykes responded. “I apologize for calling you so early.”

TK glanced at the alarm clock next to him - 5:57.

“I had to be up soon anyway,” he said wearily.

“Oh, that’s convenient,” the Sergeant responded. He wasted no more before continuing. “Well, I was calling you because Officer Reyes didn’t show up for his shift at 5.”

Breathe. Just- Sykes was talking.

“Sorry, what was that?” TK interrupted.

“I was asking if Officer Reyes is at home,” Sykes repeated.

“No,” TK said. “He-” and then finally he woke up enough to remember. Relief and comprehension flooded through him. “He’s staying at the hospital with Iris Blake tonight.”

“Ah, I see,” Sykes said. “He must have overslept or got involved with something there. I’ll call them. Thank you, Mr. Strand.”

“Yeah, of course,” he responded, and the other man hung up. TK rubbed his face and glanced at his phone. No important notifications. No calls or texts from Carlos. And it was 5:59, so with a sigh he got up and started getting ready for work. His shift started at 7:00, so he didn’t have a lot of time to lounge around.

TK went into the bathroom and splashed some water on his face, trying to wake himself up a bit more. It didn’t really help. He dried his face and then quickly brushed his teeth, trying not to think about how it felt different with Carlos not coming home than when he left before TK. He thought about work instead, wondering what kind of day it would be.

Honestly, he wouldn’t mind a busy day, he thought as he went back into the bedroom and started looking for clothes.

His phone rang.

It’s fine, it’s nothing, just answer.

TK hurriedly picked up his phone from where he dropped it on the bed and answered it. He shoved the shirt he’d been holding under his other arm as he said: “Hello?”

“Sorry to call again so soon, Mr. Strand.”

It’s fine, just breathe. Maybe Carlos’s phone died and needs his charger.

“Sergeant,” he said, surprised. “What do you need?”

“You said Officer Reyes went to stay with Iris Blake overnight, yes?”

TK swallowed, staring at the wall but seeing nothing. “Yeah. Were you able to contact him?” Maybe the sergeant needed him to call Carlos himself, or remind him which room Iris was in.

There was silence for a few seconds.

Just breathe, don’t overreact. Everything is-

“Carlos Reyes is not at the hospital. We have no idea where he is.”

TK’s blood ran cold. His heart was beating in his ears - it’s fine he’s fine everything’s fine - and there was some squeaking sound in the back of his mind. Carlos must’ve left already. He must’ve- what was that noise?

TK glanced down and realized the noise was coming from his phone, which was currently sitting on the floor. He scrambled to pick it up.

“-you there?”

“Yeah, sorry,” TK forced out. “I- what were you saying?”

“Is there anywhere else he could be?” repeated the Sergeant.

TK closed his eyes, trying to focus. Breathe, breathe, breathe.

“Uh- yeah. There’s places he could be, but they’re not- I don’t know why he’d be there,” he answered.

“Such as?” Sykes asked.

“His parents’, the 126 firehouse, or just driving, like, to nowhere.” He racked his mind for Carlos’s hiding places, but he was still trying to figure out why he would be at any of them.

“I was about to call his father and ask if he knew where Officer Reyes is,” Sykes said.

“Okay,” TK said tightly. “But I can’t think of any reason he would be there. He- he said he was going to the hospital.”

“Is there any reason he wouldn’t want to come home?” questioned Sykes.

The lump in TK’s throat was growing fast.

“Mr. Strand?”

“Yeah,” he answered past the lump. “I- I went to talk to Iris, before her. . . disappearance. And, he thought- that it could’ve been my fault.”

“So he was angry with you?”

TK swallowed thickly. “Yeah.”

“Then it makes sense that he didn’t tell you where he was going,” Sykes said.

“No,” TK countered immediately. “He would’ve told me.”

Sykes didn’t say anything for a few moments. Then: “Tell me exactly what he said to you.”

“He- He called me, last night. Around 8:30, I think? Maybe 9:00. PM,” he added, just to be sure. TK took a deep breath. “I said I was getting worried, and I asked how Iris was. He- he said not great, and that I shouldn’t wait up, because he was going to stay there. So, I said that- it made sense, you know, that she shouldn’t be alone, and- and I said I loved him and he said it back.”

“He didn’t seem particularly angry with you last night?”

“No, just- quiet.”

“He’s most likely just spending time alone, and lost track of time,” Sykes said calmingly. TK would be annoyed at being treated carefully if he had any mental space for anything else.

“He’s been through a lot in the past few days,” the Sergeant continued.

“Carlos doesn’t lose track of time,” TK said, trying to keep the bite out of his voice. “And he wouldn’t skip his shift.”

The other end of the line was quiet for a few seconds.

“Sergeant-” TK started.

“I’m having someone call Gabriel Reyes now,” Sykes interrupted.

“Tell me what he says.”

“I will,” Sykes promised.

There was silence for a few moments - it felt like hours, but TK was sure it couldn’t have been longer than 30 seconds. He felt like pacing, but was rooted to the spot, barely breathing. TK could almost make out voices in the background of the other call, but he had no idea what they were saying. Then, nothing.

He waited a few seconds.

“Sergeant?”

“Gabriel Reyes has received no communication at all from his son.”

Breathe. That means he must be driving somewhere, blowing off steam.

“Okay,” he said, trying to ignore the tension in Sykes’s voice. “So- he’s driving, out somewhere.”

“Thank you,” Sergeant Sykes said, voice slightly fainter. What was he- right, talking to someone else.

“What?” TK asked, trying to keep his voice level. “Does someone know where he is?”

A sigh. “Cell tower report. Officer Reyes’s cell phone last pinged last night at 8:49 PM. His call to you,” the sergeant added.

It’s fine. It’s fine. He’s fine.

“So his phone died? That’s why we haven’t heard from him?” TK asked hopefully. Finally, there was an explanation beyond Carlos just forgetting.

“Carlos Reyes is missing.”

TK’s heart stopped. Everything slowed. It felt like plunging into the lake: muffled, freezing, and terrifying. The information wasn’t processing. It couldn’t, because this couldn’t be happening. Because Carlos had called him barely a day ago to tell him the exact same thing, but they had found her and she was fine-

“I’m sorry, TK.”

His senses came rushing back to him. It was like Sykes snapped him out of a trance. TK took a deep, shuddering breath.

“Don’t tell me you’re sorry,” TK said hollowly. “Find him.”

He was already moving, rushing to grab the rest of his clothes.

“Mr. Strand, we’re going to do everything we can-”

“I know that,” TK interrupted forcefully. “And you want me to come in and answer some questions, right?”

“. . . Yes, but-”

“Tell Gabriel I’ll be there in five minutes.”

“Mr. Strand- TK, Gabriel Reyes isn’t here,” Sykes said, the sympathy - more like pity - in his voice mixed with confusion.

“He will be,” TK said firmly. “And like I said, I will be too. So tell him.”

Sykes sighed. “I will,” he replied, sounding a bit defeated.

TK was about to hang up, but he hesitated. Stared at nothing. Heard his heart pounding now that the silence wasn’t filled with his voice.

“Thank you,” he said shakily. “For telling me.”

“Of course, TK,” the Sergeant said after a few seconds. “We’re going to find him.”

“I know,” TK said. He didn’t.

He hung up.

TK took another breath, and then dropped his phone onto the bed. He felt the anger rising back up. He needed to move, and he did. He jumped right back into his search for clothes. TK searched near frantically for his shoes (or any shoes really) as he switched his pajama shirt out for an actual shirt. By the time he changed all of his clothes, he finally found them.

TK rushed into the living room. He grabbed his keys off the kitchen counter and-

His phone. He ran back into the bedroom, snatched it off the bed, and was out of the door within seconds.

After an agonizing 40 seconds (time really was fond of making seconds feel like hours that morning), TK finally made it to the car. He unlocked it, threw open the door, and slid in. He knew the way to the police station by heart. Take a left on-

The door shut. The silence was back. TK hated this silence. Silence that should be just the lack of noise but was so, so much more. Silence that was anger and sadness and death-

TK let out a strangled sob. He hadn’t even realized he’d been holding his breath until it all rushed out. He could feel the tears in his eyes, feel one start to track its way down his face. The silence took away the anger for just a moment, and all he wanted to do was scream, or cry. But he didn’t have time for either.

TK closed his eyes, taking a shuddering breath. And then a few more, slightly steadier ones. Carlos needed him. TK couldn’t just sit in the car, because Carlos was going to be fine but they needed to find him first. His fiancé was missing, and he needed to help.

TK opened his eyes and put the key in the ignition.

[wikiangela]

there's like, not a lot of 911 emergencies this season so far 😂 like, is it even a procedural show about first responders anymore, or just a drama about people that happen to be first responders 😂 like, I'm still enjoying it, but come on 😂 at least with emergencies we're getting more of the 126 than just one scene an episode 🙄🙄🙄 (and I get that this episode was all about Carlos being kidnapped, but since the beginning of the season we had barely any cases fr - the most in eps 1 with like 2 emergencies, I think? lol, idk, the next two episodes weren't that memorable bc I don't remember much about them haha)

[tarlos-fanfic]

Nightmares in Tandem

Set after 4x04, TK broaches the topic of therapy as he and Carlos try to work through what happened.

In the daylight, TK could almost convince himself they were okay. It was something about the sunlight, the way it poured in through their windows, how it touched Carlos’s skin and made him look warm, loved, good. They’d both been off work for a week now, days spent restless and healing, always reaching out for each other, TK watching closely for any cracks in the armour Carlos seemed to wake up with each day. He’d tell TK he was fine, that he’d be ready to go back to work in no time, and he’d smile as if this was all TK wanted to hear, but it wouldn’t reach his eyes, and TK’s stomach still lurched into free fall sometimes, just like the day it all happened.

“Baby,” TK said softly, on the Thursday morning after it happened, all their weekly structure abandoned to healing, arduous and unpredictable. “You don’t have to tell me you feel good if you don’t.”

“I know,” said Carlos. “I know that.”

Carlos was making breakfast, moving slowly through the kitchen as he cooked—eggs and bread and home made smoothies, bright in their matching tall glasses. And TK watched him, elbows on the worktop, head in one hand and tilted, trying to simply exist instead of examining everything—every gesture, every movement—but Carlos had made breakfast the last three days in a row and eaten barely three bites of it.

“Okay,” said TK, one more deep breath, filling his lungs to finally say it. “I know we haven’t exactly talked about this yet, but I think we should consider therapy.”

Read the rest on A03

[callmebrycelee]

9-1-1: LONE STAR REACTION

This reaction is for the season 4, fourth episode "Abandoned" which originally aired February 14, 2023. This episode was written by Jalysa Conway and Jamie Kessler and directed by Christine Khalafian. Spoilers ahead!

***LAST TIME ON 9-1-1: LONE STAR***Owen learns that Sgt. O'Brien's nephew joined up with the Honor Dogs before going missing. Iris is found alive in an abandoned house but when there's no trace of her captor, Carlos begins to doubt her story. TK begins to worry when Carlos starts pushing him away. Owen finds out that O'Brien is a founding member of the Honor Dogs. Carlos investigates a secret passageway underneath the abandoned home Iris was found in and gets knocked out by an unknown assailant. Now that we're all caught up, let's discuss episode four - ABANDONED!!!

Our episode begins with Carlos regaining consciousness after being knocked over the head with a shovel last episode. He wakes up in a pristine kitchen with sunlight pouring through an open window. Someone is singing "This Little Light of Mine" as he slowly comes to the realization that his ankles are bound and his wrists are zip-ted to a pipe underneath the sink. He sees an older woman (Bonita Friedericy) who looks like she walked right out of an episode of Leave it to Beaver. She asks him about TK and he tells her that TK is his fiance. She tells him that TK kept calling his phone so she pulverized it with a meat tenderizer. The woman offers Carlos a cookie and he reluctantly eats it. She then begins to ramble about the secret to making the perfect cookie and if Carlos didn't know she was cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs before, he certainly does now. The woman opens a door to what looks like a closet and Carlos gets a glimpse of a dead woman inside. He asks her to untie him but she tells him that she can't. She says, "My boy will be coming home soon, and I just know that he'll want to meet you."

Title card!

We next see Owen holding a pair of underwear. Special Agent Rose Casey (Amanda Schull) tells him they're funderwear. She explains that there is a special compartment built into them where they can hide a transmitter. They will also replace one of the buttons on his shirt with a microphone. That way, if Sgt. O'Brien were to ask Owen to unbutton his shirt, they wouldn't see a transmitter. Owen jokingly asks what if O'Brien asks him to drop his pants and Casey does not look amused. I'm still not too keen on the FBI involving Owen in such a huge matter but our resident thrillseeker seems pretty gung ho. 

We learn that O'Brien has asked Owen to meet him at a secluded road in the middle of nowhere. Owen tells Casey and her partner, Special Agent Chuck Biondi (Rob Parks) he believes that O'Brien is on to him and that he suspects Owen is the one who called in the tip on all of the ammonium nitrate that was found at The Farm. Biondi calls the tip bogus and Owen assures him of what he saw. Casey asks him why he didn't take a photo of what he saw and I wanted Owen to scream at both of them that he is not an FBI agent. Owen asks them what they hope to gain from him meeting with O'Brien. Biondi thinks maybe O'Brien is having second thoughts about his involvement with a potential terrorist plot. Owen jokes that maybe he wants to meet up with him so he can kill him. Casey says that would be great because then they could use attempted murder as a means of bringing him over to their side. She assures Owen that if O'Brien tries anything, they will be there. 

Owen gets a call from TK. Before he answers the call, Casey tells him to make it quick. TK asks him if he's okay since Judd told him he was taking the day off. Owen lies and tells TK he's taking a spa day which, in all fairness, is a pretty good lie for someone like Owen. TK seeks advice from him on what to do about Carlos not answering his calls. TK asks if he should just go over to the hospital and talk to him. Owen tells him he should give Carlos space. Hearing this advice is triggering for TK considering when Owen and his mom gave each other space, it led to their divorce. Casey tells Owen to wrap up the call and Owen rushes TK off the phone but not before telling him to hang in there. I felt really bad for TK and for Owen as well because since the start of this show, we have watched their relationship slowly devolve. I hope these two get to sit down at some point and have a long conversation so they can hopefully get back to where they were.

Meanwhile, the woman's son, Darryl (Adam O'Byrne) comes home and he is angry to see Carlos being held captive in his kitchen. Darryl asks his mother how Carlos got in the house and she tells him he came through the floor and she hit him with a shovel. Darryl goes through Carlos' things and learns he is a cop after seeing his badge. He tells Carlos he saw him carry Iris out of the abandoned house the day before. He asks Carlos why he came back. Carlos tells him he was looking for him. Darryl says, "Well, you found me, but no one's gonna find you." He asks his mother to bring him "the kit". When she leaves the room, Carlos asks Darryl if the woman in the closet is Donna Burton. Donna Burton is the young woman Iris went looking for prior to being abducted. Carlos asks if there are more women. Darryl tells Carlos that no one will ever find out because he's going to seal up the tunnel linking the two houses with Carlos inside. Darryl further taunts Carlos by telling him no one is looking for him. Darryl's mother returns to the kit and we learn there's vials of morphine inside of it. He yells at his mother for using some of the supply when he realizes there isn't enough to kill Carlos. He does, however, have enough to knock Carlos out which will give him plenty of time to seal up the tunnel. Darryl injects Carlos in the neck with morphine. Is it bad that I'm glad this is happening to Carlos and not TK who is a recovering addict who has already lost his sobriety once in the history of this show?

Over at the 126, TK is on edge because he's trying to take his father's advice. Nancy tells him to call Carlos and he responds by telling her that he is the one who screwed up and he needs to give Carlos space. Poor TK - none of this is your fault. Carlos getting married to Iris due to his own insecurities with being gay and not telling you about it has zero to do with you and everything to do with him. Anywho, Paul tells TK that Carlos isn't going to end things just because there's a bump in the road. Mateo chimes in by saying that 'bump' is his wife which I thought was pretty funny. Marjan, thankfully, is the voice of reason and tells TK she thinks it's weird that Carlos is not answering his phone calls or texts. TK is worried about nagging Carlos so he begs Nancy to call the hospital and she gives in. Nancy speaks to someone at the hospital and they tell her that Iris is asleep in her room. She asks if Carlos is with her in her room and is told no one has been in Iris's room all night. TK is officially panicked.

Grace gets a personal call from TK during her shift at the dispatch. TK asks her if she can locate where Carlos' phone is at. Grace tells him Carlos' phone is disconnected which means either the battery has been removed or the phone has been destroyed. 

Darryl and his mother brainstorm ways of how to get rid of Carlos. Darryl proposes slitting his throat in a bathtub but his mother tells him it would be hard to clean up. She suggests strangulation because it would be 'fairly tidy'. Darryl tells her he needs to get rid of Carlos' car and then he will swing by the pharmacy to grab more drugs. His mother worries that someone will come through the tunnel while he's gone but he assures her that he's sealed up the end in the abandoned house. Darryl grabs his keys, puts his bike on the back of Carlos' car, and drives off while his mother puts on a record.

Owen to the location he and O'Brien discussed while the special agents listen in from a remote van. Owen gets a call from TK but ignores it when he sees O'Brien (Neal McDonough) ride up. O'Brien tells Owen he's surprised he showed up and tells him he's dumb. More bikers arrive at their rendezvous spot, including Red (Dan Sanders-Joyce). Red tells Owen they're going for a ride. 

TK goes to see his future in-laws - Gabriel and Andrea Reyes (Benito Martinez and Roxana Brusso). He asks them if they have seen or heard from Carlos. Gabriel tells him they have not. Andrea suggests that maybe Carlos is at work but TK tells her Carlos has the day off. He also tells them he's tried to reach out to Carlos numerous times and that Grace tried to track his phone but it's disabled. This sets off alarm bells for our resident Texas Ranger. He asks TK if he was driving his car. TK tells him yes. Gabriel says he can put a BOLO out on Carlos and his car. TK gets a call from Grace. Grace says the last call Carlos made was to TK the night before and the last call came from the abandoned house where Iris was found. Gabriel asks Grace to send him the address.

Owen and O'Brien arrive at a bar with the rest of the Honor Dogs. Red asks them to hand over their phones. Owen confronts O'Brien about being a founding member of the Honor Dogs. O'Brien admits he did start the Honor Dogs shortly after 9/11 but he quit when some of the members started getting radical. He says when he walked into the bar six weeks ago, no one there recognized him. The Honor Dogs is no longer the group he founded. Owen finds it strange that Andy, O'Brien's nephew, just so happened to join the same club he founded two decades earlier but O'Brien tells him that his nephew has wanted to be an underdog ever since he was seven. Owen thinks that maybe Andy isn't working for the FBI. O'Brien says that the Honor Dogs think they're working for the FBI. He tells Owen that The Farm was raided by the FBI. Owen tells him that all of the ammonium nitrate they found is missing. He tells O'Brien that he believes he took it. O'Brien denies moving the ammonium nitrate. Owen accuses him of luring him there and O'Brien tells him that he tried to warn him. When he said there was a 99/9% chance that Owen wouldn't show, apparently the 999 is code for officer down. Owen reminds him he's a firefighter and they don't have that type of code. O'Brien tells him to be cool and reminds him that the Honor Dogs don't have anything on them. Owen tells him that he's wearing a wire. O'Brien muses that they are screwed. 

TK and Gabriel, aka the duo I never thought I needed, arrive at the address of the abandoned house. Meanwhile, Carlos learns the older lady holding him captive is named Trudie. He attempts to get through to her. Gabriel and TK go into the room where Iris was held captive. Detective Meredith Grier (Blythe Howard) arrives at the scene. TK lashes out when the detective insinuates that Iris made up the entire thing. Gabriel tells him to calm down and TK leaves the room. He finds Donna Burton's ID in the fireplace. He calls for Gabriel and the detective and when they come into the room he shows them what he found. Detective Grier tells them that Donna Burton is the woman Iris says she was looking for. TK deduces that the person who took Iris is the same person who took Donna. Gabriel chastises the detective for not doing a thorough search of the premises but Detective Grier says they were only looking for Iris. Gabriel asks for her to call in reinforcements to canvas the neighborhood while TK decides to go next door to where Carlos is being held captive.

Trudie sees TK approach the house and she uses duct tape to gag Carlos. She also grabs a knife before she answers the door. TK asks if she's heard or seen anything unusual and Trudie tells him she hasn't. He then shows her a picture of he and Carlos and asks if she's seen him. Trudie comments on how handsome Carlos is and yes, we get it. Carlos is fine. Carlos has been fine for four seasons now. TK tells Trudie that Carlos is his fiance and she seems surprised by this information. She tells TK that she goes to bed early and that her son works the night shift. Carlos knocks something over in the kitchen and Trudie pretends her cat did it. She tells Trudie she has to "spank her cat" which ... writers, y'all nasty! LOL!!! Anywho, Carlos gives her Detective Grier's information and she heads back inside.

Perhaps the strangest part of the episode is when Trudie approaches Carlos in the kitchen and says, "I didn't know you were a gay. I love the gays. Sometimes I wish my Darryl was a gay. The ladies give him so much trouble." Carlos gives her the same look I'm sure all of us were giving and then the scene fades to black. 

At the Austin PD, Detective Grier informs Gabriel about the disappearances of several other women. The thing all of the women have in common is that they were either homeless or the residents of halfway houses. The detective suggests the women are being targeted because they are the most vulnerable. Poor TK is freaking out because he is confused why the two of them are preoccupied with women who have been missing for nearly five years instead of finding Carlos. Gabriel believes if they understand the connection between the women then that will lead them to Carlos. TK suggests they are looking for a serial killer and then it dawns on him that maybe Carlos is the next victim. Gabriel is such a good paternal figure for TK during this moment. TK wonders how he can remain so calm. Gabriel reminds him that he's not the only person who loves Carlos and that "If there are tears to weep, we do them when the time comes, not before. And right now, he needs us." Gabriel's words appear to soothe TK which is a relief because TK is on the edge at this point. Detective Grier tells them they have found Carlos' car. There was no blood and any fingerprints were wiped clean.

Meanwhile, Red confronts Owen and O'Brien. He tells them that after the two of them and Turner went shooting the day before, The Farm was raided by the FBI. He tells them that he believes they were looking for something but whatever that something is, they didn't find it. Red believes there is a rat in the Honor Dogs and when Owen suggests that the rat is Turner, Red tells him that Turner's too stupid to be a rat. Red is suspicious of Owen and wonders if he's working for the FBI. O'Brien interjects and says they're both with the FBI and because of their status as law enforcement, they're not going to disappear as easily as Andy did. O'Brien asks where Andy is and Red tells him that Andy is gone. O'Brien squares off against Red and Owen blurts out that he is the rat and he's wearing a microphone in his underwear. Both Owen and O'Brien are kicked out of the Honor Dogs and Agent Casey looks disappointed. 

Back at the Austin PD, TK, Gabriel, and Detective Grier try to figure out what all the women who are missing, including Donna, have in common. TK suggests they all have issues with mental health. He also sees that they all take medication for their mental illness. Detective Grier tells him that the women all went to different clinics and saw different doctors. TK notices the women all went to the same pharmacy. Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner. Darryl heads into the pharmacy he works at and steals a bunch of morphine. Now, I'm not a medical expert but I was under the impression that narcotics and opioids are heavily regulated. If Darryl's been taking these medications for his own personal use, I'm surprised he hasn't been caught by now. I don't care if he's a pharmacist or not. 

Back at Cloud Cuckooland, Trudie removes the duct tape from Carlos' mouth. She offers him hot cocoa but he declines. Trudie sees there are police officers canvassing the area and worries that Darryl will be upset when he returns home. Carlos asks if TK is with them but she tells him TK is long gone. Carlos begins screaming at the top of his lungs so Trudie turns the record player on to mask the noise that is surely going to alert the cops outside. Trudie rushes back into the room and puts a knife to Carlos' throat. Carlos promises he will stop screaming.

TK and Gabriel arrive at the pharmacy, and the pharmacist on duty tells them that the medications were all filled by the same person - Darryl Keyes. Gabriel asks if Darryl is there but the pharmacist tells him that he just left and that he was riding a bike which she found strange. Gabriel asks her to give him Darryl's address. 

We now see Darryl making his way back home on his bike while Carlos pleads with Trudie to let him go. Trudie gives us some backstory on how Darryl became the monster he is today. Apparently there was some sort of accident involving swimming pool chemicals and Darryl's hand got messed up. If I'm reading between the lines here, it sounds like Darryl was a total creeper from the very beginning and at the age of ten was already showing signs of being a serial killer due to his fascination with dissolving things in chemicals. The twisted part of the story is that after the accident, Darryl told the social worker that his mother was to blame just so he could go live with his father. Trudie tells us, and Carlos, that Darryl's father didn't want him but she did. She then says the line, "A mother's best friend is her son" which is the reverse of what Norman Bates says in the movie Psycho. Yikes!

Carlos tells Trudie that no matter how hard she tries, Darryl will never love her the way she loves him. In a borderline touching moment, Trudie asks if Carlos loves his mother. He tells her yes and she asks if TK loves his mother. Carlos tells her that no son loved his mother more than TK and that he lost his mother the previous year. Shout out to Gwyn! We miss you, girl! Trudie tells him that it will be sad not having her at the wedding but Carlos says she will be there. In perhaps the best line of the episode, Carlos says, "Sometimes I feel all the love she had for him, she's sending it through me. Otherwise, I don't know where all this love comes from". Cue me reaching for the tissue. Carlos, I just might forgive you after all this is over.

In a sudden change of heart, Trudie tells Carlos that she has to get him out of there. She cuts the zip-ties off of his wrist. When Carlos stands up, Darryl walks through the door and is angry. Carlos grabs a frying pan and hits him over the head with it. He and Darryl scuffle but because Carlos' legs are still bound, Darryl gains the upper hand. Trudie, who is back to being on Darryl's side, injects Carlos with more morphine which incapacitates him. Thankfully, at that very moment, Gabriel kicks the door in like the badass he is and while he keeps his gun trained on Darryl and Trudie, TK tends to his fiance. He tells Carlos to stay with him while he administers CPR. One of the backup officers arrives on the scene and hands TK some Narcan which revives Carlos.

Darryl and Trudie are arrested and poor Donna Burton's body is carried out of the house. While Carlos is loaded into an ambulance, TK calls his dad, again, and gets his voicemail. Owen Strand, I love you and no one defends you more than me, but you have been the worst dad ever in this episode. I get that you're off saving the world, or at least all of greater Austin, from a credible terrorist plot but family comes first! 

Speaking of Owen, our penultimate scene of the episode involves him and his new bestie, O'Brien, leaving the FBI headquarters. It seems like neither of their help is required anymore which hopefully means this is the end of this storyline. However, we learn that things are definitely not over because someone, presumably O'Brien's nephew, Andy, is building a bomb using the stolen ammonium nitrate. Dun, dun, dunnnnnn!!!

Whew, what a rollercoaster ride of an episode. This reaction is the longest I've ever written and that's due in part to this episode having so much in it. In hindsight, this episode should have been two separate episodes, each focusing on one of the two storylines. Now don't get me wrong, I like the whole Owen and O'Brien teaming up to save the day, but I felt their storyline detracted from the more important storyline which was Carlos' abduction. In fact, I'm not a television writer, but perhaps the terrorist storyline should have been saved for the end of the season and the beginning of this season could have been about Carlos and TK and the whole Iris situation. I get why the writers are choosing to focus on both stories at the same time. The show seems to want Owen as the main character of the series which I agree with since the whole premise of this show is Owen Strand coming to Austin to reboot the 126. However, there's the very vocal, very opinionated fandom who has been demanding more screen time for our beloved TK and Carlos. Well, the fandom got what they wanted but you know what they say about being careful what you wish for. 

A lot of folks are dissatisfied with the TK and Carlos storyline and I get it. The whole Carlos being married to a character we knew briefly in season one all while being engaged to TK seemingly came out of nowhere no matter how many times Tim Minera tries to tell us otherwise. I don't know why the writers of this show are so intent on subjecting our resident gay couple to trauma after trauma but perhaps this is there way of sticking it to a certain portion of the fandom who demands more screen time for these two characters even at the expense of other characters like Marjan and Paul not getting to shine. A part of me delights at the possibility that the writers and the creators of the show are trolling the fandom but I also worry that this could potentially sour the overall audience towards the show.

I hope going forward we take a step back from the Tarlos drama and the Owen saves the world plot so we can check in on Tommy and her new romance, Judd, Grace, and their family, and the other first responders at the 126. I also want to see Wyatt come back at some point because one thing this show has that the OG series does not is good representation when it comes to fathers and sons, i.e., Owen and TK and Carlos and Gabriel. I also want to get back to having two or three emergencies per episode. Someone pointed out on Reddit that no fires have been found thus far this season which is funny when you realize this is a show about firefighters. With all that said, it does look like we'll be focusing on Marjan in the next episode which looks promising. Until next time ...

[holdyourbreathuntilyouseelight]

Carlos, disgusted and horrified at the implication he’s engaged to a woman when he is, in fact, currently legally married to one…

The face of pure groggy confusion to “oh you’re getting married, how sweet. She must love you so much,”

PLEASE. He’s like “whose she?”.

[crownspeaksblog]

Gabriel calling tk son.... ahhh

[reasonandfaithinharmony]

Carlos and TK, Season 4: parallel statements of love and devotion

911 Lone Star: Abandoned (4x04) | The New Hot Mess (4x02) | Swipe Left (4x12) | A House Divided (4x16) | In Sickness and in Health (4x18)

[rafaelsilvasource]

RAFAEL SILVA on the set of 911: LONE STAR 4X04 "Abandoned"

[lonestardust]

"It's Okay" TK comforting Carlos through hardships; 2x12 -> 3x08 -> 4x01 -> 4x04.