#9-1-1 lone star fanfiction

[callsign-dexter]

Burning Determination

Request: if your request are now closed I understand but I was wondering if you could write a fic where it’s Owen Strand x daughter reader? Maybe a sick fic where she’s determined to continue working but is like an inch away from passing out?

Pairings: Owen Strand x Daughter!Reader, TK Strand x Sister!Reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, sickness, hospitals, needles, vomit

Masterlist

You knew something wasn't right when you got up for work this morning. You felt way too hot, you were sweating through your clothes, and you looked pale. You so dearly wanted to stay home but you hadn't scheduled the time off and you couldn't leave your coworkers one person short. Also you were a Strand you couldn't let a little sickness stop you from working. You are the twin sister of TK Strand and the daughter of Owen Strand. 

As you got up from your bed the energy seemed to drain from you and you felt like passing out right back into bed but you needed to go to work. You stood there for a minute before everything stopped spinning and you slowly made it to your bathroom. You slowly and a little bit unsteady got in the shower and washed yourself of the sweat and then you were slowly getting out after you were done and got dressed and brushed your teeth and your hair. You were almost out the door when your stomach churned and you were heading straight to the guest bathroom and throwing up whatever you had in your stomach. When you were done getting rid of the contents in your stomach you got up flushed and rinsed your mouth out you were out the door and heading to your truck. “You can do this. It's just 3 days.” You said to yourself as you put your truck into gear and headed towards the station. You had the air blasting on you which felt really good.

Finally you arrived at the station and you parked your truck beside your dad's. You sat in your truck for a few minutes and closed your eyes and accidentally drifted off and you would know this because there was a knock on your window which jerked you awake. You looked over and saw it was Judd Ryder. You opened the door and he smiled softly at you. “You ok?�� He asked and you smiled back at him.

“Yea, I'm perfectly fine. Didn't sleep well last night and decided to catch up on some sleep before going in.” You said and he nodded but didn't look convinced.

“Are you sure?” He asked

“I'm fine, Judd. I promise.” You said as you jumped out of the truck and you stumbled ever so slightly. 

“Y/N/N.” He warned and you waved him off.

“I'm fine. It was just a bad misstep. I'm ok.” You said 

“Ok ok. Just if you start feeling bad or anything please let someone know.” He pleaded

“I will. I promise.” You said and he seems satisfied with that answer. You weakly grabbed your bag and the both of you started your trek into the firehouse conversation being made along the way. You so badly wanted to stop and take a breath but you couldn't not now, you couldn't let him see you weak. By the time you reached the stairs to head up and put your stuff in a locker your head was spinning and you were on fire but you had to push through and hope not too many calls would come through. 

You were just about to start ascending the stairs when your brother's voice came to your ringing ears. “Hey, Sis. You ok?” He asked if anyone would notice how sick you were it would be your paramedic twin brother. You also know that he would be the hardest to convince along with your father.

“Hey, TK. I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?” You asked, putting on a smile and he looked at you with an eyebrow raised. 

“You just seem off. You also didn't meet Carlos and I for supper last night.” He said

“Shit, I totally forgot. I'm so sorry.” You said and he smiled and shook his head.

“It's ok. Nothing to fret over. We don't hold grudges.” He said and you chuckled which made your head hurt and your body ache. You needed water. You squeezed your eyes closed and he took notice of this. “Are you sure you're ok?” He asked.

“TK I promise I'm fine. I just have a little bit of a headache, nothing a little rest, Tylenol, and fluids won't fix.” You said and he didn't look convinced but he took the answer.

“Fine. Let me know if it gets worse. Please?” He pleaded 

“I will. I promise.” You said as the bells rang signaling for the ambulance. The sound went straight to your pounding head but you didn't move not wanting to throw anyone off. 

“Well, I gotta go. You go sit and get something in you. You don't look so good.” He said 

“I will. Be safe and I love you.” You said 

“Love you too, Sis.” He said and then he was taking off and hopped into the ambulance and they were off. You sighed finally alone you made it up the stairs and to the locker room where you put your stuff and headed into the kitchen. You quickly grabbed what you were looking for and then you were going and landing yourself on the couch laying down. You put an arm across your eyes and actually drifted off. You were waking up to someone calling your name and it turned out to be your father.

“Hey, Y/N/N. Wake up.” He said and you groaned but did as you were told. 

“Hmmm I'm awake.” You said and sat up quickly and instantly regretted it. “How long was I asleep?” You asked.

“30 minutes.” Your dad said.

“Shit did I miss a bell?” You asked and he shook his head.

“No. Are you feeling ok?” He asked 

“Why does everyone keep asking me that? I'm fine.” You said 

“It's not normal for you to sleep on shift when it's not night time. What's wrong?” He asked and you shook your head.

“Nothing is wrong.” You said and he gave you that fatherly look saying ‘don't lie to me’. “I'm just trying to get caught up on some sleep. I didn't sleep well last night.” You said and he rose an eyebrow but knew that if he pushed you then you would close off. Besides after that nap you were feeling a little better. Then just as your luck would have it the bells went off and you groaned. 

“Come on. We have to get going.” He said and stood and so did you but you stood there for a minute while black dots filled your vision. Your father didn't notice and went on. After they disappeared and good to go you got up and rushed downstairs and pulled your gear on. You hopped into the truck and then you were off to the call. Having all the gear on you made your temperature start to rise and you to sweat. You were having trouble breathing but masked it well and your body was drained of energy. Any more strenuous activity and you would be passing out but that's what your job called for so you sucked it up and continued on. 

When the truck arrived at the scene it appeared to be an apartment fire and it had to be all hands on deck. You sighed and got out, legs shaking but you quickly made them stop and waited for your captain to give orders. “Y/N, Judd I want you to go in there and get anyone else out. Paul, Marjon start putting the fire out. Mateo and I will help TK, Nancy, and Tommi with rounding everyone else up and getting them medical attention that they need.” Your dad said and everyone acknowledged the orders and then you were off to do your job. Your turnout gear felt too hot and too heavy when it normally didn't bother you. The mask made it seem like it was suffocating you more and stealing your air. The oxygen tank didn't help either. You were very close to passing out but moved on. 

“You good?” Judd asked as you two began to enter the apartment.

“Yea, yea I'm good. Hey, do you mind taking the top floors and I stay close to the bottom?” You asked

“Not all. Call me if you need me.” He said and you nodded and then started to work on clearing the first floor out.

“Fire department call out!” You yelled and got nothing and so you kept calling out as you checked everywhere, each call out took your breath away but you cleared the first floor “Judd first floor is clear. Heading to second.” You said and moved on to the second floor. 

“Copy that. The 4th floor is clear. Heading to third.” He said 

“Copy that.” You said a little breathlessly and you hoped nobody caught onto it and it seemed like they didn't because they didn't say anything. “Fire department call out!” You said and that one made you a little light headed and you had to lean against the wall for a second. 

“Help! I'm trapped!” A tiny female voice said and that got you going despite the sweat dripping down your face and getting in your eyes. 

“Fire department call out!” You said 

“Here!” The voice said and you went to the 5th door on the right. 

“Are you away from the door?” You asked

“Yes.” She said and you broke down the door and found the little girl huddled in the corner, the fire just starting to make its way into the home. 

“I'm here, Sweetie. I'm gonna get you to safety.” You said and she nodded “Where are you parents?” You asked.

“They're at work. I’m with my babysitter. She got hit with something and got knocked out .” She said tears in her eyes and your heart broke. 

“Judd, I'm gonna need some help down here. I got a little girl and she said her parents are at work and she was with her babysitter but she got hit and knocked out by something.” You said 

“Copy. 3rd floor is clear. Coming down now.” He said 

“Copy.” You said and then turned to the little girl. “I'm gonna get you out of here and my friend will get your babysitter out ok?” You asked and she nodded.

“Ok.” She said and you picked her up and made her bury her head into your turnout gear to decrease to smoke inhalation. As you were starting to walk out  Judd walked through the door. 

“Rest of the floor is clear. You go on and get her out and I'll get the babysitter out.” He said and you nodded and so you headed out of the room as fast as you could but you started to not feel good and light headed. 

“What is your name?” You asked her to try to take your mind off of feeling sick.

“Josey.” She said and you smiled.

“That's a pretty name. I'm Y/N.” You said 

“I like that name.” She said 

“Me too.” You replied as you quickly descended the stairs and out of the lobby. You were quick to take off your helmet and yell for your brother. “TK!” You shouted and he looked up and came rushing over. 

“What do we got?” He asked

“This is Josey. She was in the room with her babysitter when the fire started. Judd should be bringing out the babysitter any minute now.” He said and nodded and guided you over to a spot and you set her down as he and Tommi started to work on her and you walked away. You ripped the mask off and breathed heavily hands on your knees, you were exhausted. 

“You ok?” Marjan asked and you looked up at her.

“Yes. Why?” You asked

“You do not look good.” She said 

“I'm ok.” You said as black dots started to appear and you started to sweat more Breathing became difficult. You were getting light headed by the second. 

“Owen!” She yelled and he looked up to where she was and his eyes widened. TK looked up too and did the same thing Tommi told him to go and the two Strand men were rushing to your side. 

“Y/N!” Your dad said as he practically caught you as you started to tumble down.

“Sis!” TK said as he started to take off your heavy gear and throw your turnout coat off and then they could really see that you were soaking wet from sweat. 

“What do I need to do?” Marjan asked

“Go and grab my med kit from the ambulance.” TK said and she nodded and took off.

“You're burning up.” Your dad said as he helped lower you down to where you were sitting on the step of the firetruck. 

“I'm ok.” You said and waved him off and he shook his head.

“No you're not.” He replied as Marjan arrived with TK's get and started to get everything out. He grabbed a thermometer and quickly took your temperature and he quickly beeped. 

“103.2.” He said 

“You shouldn't have come to work if you were feeling this bad. How long have you been like this?” Your dad asked.

“Since last night.” You said as Marjan handed you a Gatorade.

“Here it'll help with your lost electrolytes.” She said 

“Thank you.” You said weakly and opened it and downed half of it. 

“I want you to go to the hospital.” Your dad said

“Dad, no. I'm fine.” You said and he shook his head.

“As your dad and your captain I'm ordering you to go.” He said and you huffed.

“Fine.” You said and then looked at TK who was holding out a hand and you took it and he helped you up and you stumbled into him and the dark spots started to dance again. Everything sounded like it was underwater. 

“Y/N.” Your dad said but you had totally gone limp in your brother's arm finally letting the darkness take over.

“Fuck. I think she just passed out.” TK said as Nancy and Tommi came over with a gurney after seeing what happened. It was a really good thing that more than one firehouse was called out. They quickly got you onto the gurney and started to take off your heavy gear, thankfully you had pants on underneath. They pushed you over to the very close 126 Ambulance and loaded you in. They were quick to start cooling you down. As TK started to place an IV you started to wake up.

“Bro?” You asked and looked at him and he smiled.

“You passed out. We're taking you to the hospital and I'm gonna get an IV with cool fluids going ok?” He asked and you nodded as he placed a tourniquet around your arm and your veins popped up but he knew they would be fragile, but he was skilled at this and placed it with practiced ease. You whimpered but didn't make another sound “It's ok, Sis. I got ya.” He said and then started the fluids and they felt like fire running through your veins but you didn't make a sound and after a few seconds it started to feel good.

“TK we're here.” Nancy said as she stopped outside of the Emergency side of the hospital and they were quick to get you out and unloaded. 

They rolled you in and TK told the nurses and doctor what happened “She passed out at a scene. Temperature was 103.2, we've had cooling material and cool IV fluids on board so it may have come down. She said that she threw up before starting her shift this morning and she took Tylenol about 3 hrs ago. She also downed half a body of Gatorade, she then stood up and passed out in my arms and no she did not hit her head.” He said and they nodded in understanding as they transferred you to a bed. He would be staying since he was family and they allowed it. 

“I'm Dr. Hedges. I see her temperature has gone down to 102. We'll continue with the cooling down and hopefully that's all it is but we'll test her for viruses.” The doctor said and TK nodded and then your dad was rolling into the ER and he was being pointed to where you were. 

“How is she?” Your dad asked, turning to the doctor.

“As I was telling your son, I'm Dr. Hedges. Her temperature has gone down to 102. I want to run some tests for any viruses and I want to keep doing the cooling down treatments.” He said and your dad nodded.

“Cooling down how?” He asked 

“Cool towel on her head and cool fluids.” Dr. Hedges said and your dad nodded.

“Whatever needs to be done.” Your dad said and Dr. Hedges nodded as a nurse came in with a towel and a bowl of water then left. Your dad got to work on dabbing your forehead and then laying the towel over your forehead.

“I'll have a nurse in to grab what is needed for the tests.” He said and both your brother and dad nodded, already starting to fuss over you. It was 10 minutes after he left that you started to wake up.

“TK?” You asked

“I'm here and so is dad.” He said pointing to him and you looked over at him.

“Dad, I'm sorry.” You said 

“It's ok.” He said and you shook your head slightly.

“No it's not. I came to work when I was sick.” You said

“It really is ok. You're a Strand you got that stubborn gene in you. You also have the need to want to help people.” He said “Both of you do.” He said and you and TK chuckled and smiled. Soon the nurse was coming in.

“Good to see you awake Ms. Strand.” She said 

“Please just Y/N.” You said and she nodded.

“I'm just gonna grab some swabs and run some tests.” She said and you nodded and she smiled glad you actually have a cooperative patient. She got the swabs and put them in the container. “I'll get these going and Dr. Hedges will be back in afterwards with the results.” She said and all of you nodded and smiled. 

“It's probably a bad cold that I got from helping those kids at the local fair.” You said 

“Hopefully that's all and nothing else. Can't have you sick sick on me. I can't deal with dad alone.” TK said and you laughed and your dad looked offended.

“What's that supposed to mean?” He asked and you both shook your head.

“Nothing, Daddy. We love you.” You said and he looked at you suspiciously.

“Love you both too.” He said and then Dr. Hedges was walking in.

“Glad to see you awake, Y/N.” He said and you smiled.

“The nap helped.” You said and he smiled.

“It looks like the wet towel and cool fluids did the trick. You're temperature is down to 97.7, which is great. I got the results back and it does turn out you do have the flu and it must've been an aggressive one because the results came back very quickly. I suggest taking Tylenol every 8 hrs and get some Sudafed PE Head Congestion + Flu Severe Tablets to help with drying all the congestion up. Other than that I'm happy with your temperature and comfortable with releasing you.” He said and you nodded and smiled.

“Thank you, Dr. Hedges.” You said and the other two nodded and said the same thing.

“You're very welcome. I'll have a nurse in here with discharge papers and then you can be on your way.” He said and then was out of the room.

“Ok, so back to work.” You said 

“Oh, no.” Your dad and brother said at the same time. 

“What? I'm fine.” You said 

“You passed out in my arms and you were running a temperature. Not to mention you got sick before you even came to the station. You're not going back to work, you're going to go home and if I have to Carlos sit outside your house then I will. You're not leaving that house until you're better.” TK said and your mouth dropped open and you looked at your dad and he nodded.

“You're not going to work. You're going home. TK or I can bring your belongings to you.” Your dad said.

“But dad-” You started but was cut off by a nurse coming in with discharge papers and to take out the IV. She did so in silence while you glared at your dad and brother because you were perfectly fine to go back to work. Once the nurse was gone and the IV no longer in you, Carlos walked in. “TK!” You shrieked and looked at him.

“What? I didn't call him.” He said

“No, I was already here and heard you lot were here.” Carlos said “Wanted to make sure you or your brother hadn't landed in a coma.” He said.

“That's TK's specialty.” You said and he didn't deny it and everyone nodded knowing it was true. Finally you got up and walked out of the hospital with the three men and there was Judd in his truck waiting for the three of you. You bid Carlos a goodbye and then got in and he started off towards your house and not the station.

“Awww don't pout. You need your rest. I also got your meds that your dad texted me. Also your truck is here and here are the keys.” He said holding up the bag up and handing your keys to you which you took roughly and everyone chuckled and that made you just pout even more as he arrived at your house. You got out with TK and your dad and walked to the front door. 

“I can walk to the house myself.” You pointed out.

“Just want to make sure you're safe.” They said at the same time and you glared again at them. You grabbed your keys and unlocked the door and walked in and TK set the bag down on the table in the living room as your dad went to the kitchen and grabbed Gatorade that you had in there.

“Get some fluids in you and rest. One of us or both of us will be back to check on you.” Your dad said and you nodded and went to sit down on the couch. “Call anyone if you need anything.” Your dad added.

“I will.” You said and they nodded and then started to leave. Once Judd’s truck was gone you took that as your chance to leave. You started to make your way to the front door when a cop car caught the corner of your eye and you looked at it. “For fucks sake. Really?” You asked throwing your hands up and you mentally made a note to hit your brother “He actually went through with it.” You said. Carlos waved at you and you could see him chuckling, you waved back and then stalked off from the window and sat down on the couch. You turned on the TV and took your meds and drank some. 

Your glare slowly went away and you smiled and you shook your head. You were just glad you had people that loved you and wanted to look after you and to be honest you didn't feel up to go back to work you just wanted to lay around. You loved your dad and brother and they loved you back, if they didn't then they wouldn't be looking at for you. Although you were mad that they sent Carlos to sit outside of your house and for them making you stay home you didn't hate them. You chuckled and got comfortable on the couch and slowly you found yourself drifting off to sleep despite you sleeping at the hospital. As you drifted off you made a mental note to thank them later because without them your life wouldn't be what it was now. You were lucky and you loved them. You wouldn't trade them for anyone else. You three were stuck with each other.

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@grandstrangerphantom

@angenu01-blog

@talesofreading

@callsign-revenge

[captain-gillian]

i love him on purpose

1,756 words. rated t. summary: After a long week, Carlos plans a cozy date night of reading and comfort food for his husband.

Living in the heart of downtown, most things are within walking distance of Carlos, and TK’s loft, including some of the best queer nightlife Austin has to offer, TK’s favourite Chinese takeout place, a Trader Joe’s and a great bookstore. 

Unlike most of the bookstores in the area, this one isn’t a chain but a little independent place with a coffee shop that makes some of the best coffee in the city. As it’s only half a block from their apartment, TK and Carlos are frequent visitors. 

When Carlos stops to pick up an iced latte on the way home from picking up groceries, he has an idea.

It’s been a long week in the Reyes-Strand household, and the majority of Carlos’s opportunities to see his husband have been passing greetings as they head in and out the door for their shifts on opposite schedules and a few shared lunches at the firehouse—all of which ended up interrupted by calls. 

But they both have the next two days off together, and Carlos’ shift ends earlier than TK’s, so he makes plans for a date night while waiting for his coffee.

They’ve both been working overtime since the wedding and the honeymoon to make up for the time off, so a date night is more than overdue. After a long week, Carlos has just the thing in mind for date night. Nothing fancy; after the week they’ve had, Carlos figures a quiet night is just what they need.

When he gets home, Carlos thumbs through the recipe folder on the counter until he finds what he’s looking for—a simple chocolate chip cookie recipe he’s made before with TK’s help. Carlos has always preferred the freedom and art of cooking over the exact science of baking. Still, cookies have always been one of TK’s go-to comfort foods—it’s not unusual to find him baking cookies at odd hours if he’s had a hard shift or wants to feel closer to his mom—cookies and Chinese takeout.

keep reading on ao3 or under the cut

By the time the cookies go into the oven, Carlos has flour in his hair—though he couldn’t possibly tell you how it ended up there—the kitchen is a mess. TK is due home in twenty minutes, which Carlos hopes will be enough time to clean up and have the whole apartment smelling like freshly baked cookies.

As Carlos takes the cookies out of the oven, TK texts to say a call ran over and he’ll be a little late. Carlos finishes the last of his washing up, and although they’re still hot, he can’t help but sample one of the cookies before settling into the couch with a magazine. Of course, it’s nothing like the cookies TK makes with Gwyn’s secret recipe—nothing will ever compare to those—but they’re perfectly crisp with a soft, chewy interior and chocolate that melts in his mouth. If nothing else, they’re made with love and make the apartment smell inviting.

“Hi, husband,” TK says as he walks into the apartment, throws his keys in the bowl on the end table and shrugs off his backpack. “It smells incredible in here, Carlos.”

“Hey, babe. How was your shift?” Carlos asks, standing and leaning against the arm of the sofa to greet him.

TK leans in to hug Carlos, momentarily burying his face in his neck. “Long. How was yours?” 

“Uneventful.”

“Where is this delicious smell coming from?” TK asks. 

“I made you cookies.” He says and watches his husband’s expression soften.

“You made me cookies?”

“It’s nothing special, just chocolate chip.”

“Nothing special? Taking the time to make me cookies is special, babe.” TK says, planting a kiss on Carlos’ cheek and crossing to the kitchen. “Thank you.”

Carlos stays resting against the back of the sofa as TK crosses the room and hops up to sit on the kitchen counter beside the rack of cookies. 

“So what’s the occasion? I haven’t forgotten an anniversary—at least I hope I haven’t—and it’s not my birthday, so what’s the occasion?” TK asks as he takes a bite of the cookie in his hand. “Babe, these are delicious.” He says through a mouthful. 

“No occasion. I don’t need a reason to spoil my husband, and besides, we’re overdue a date night.” 

“I don’t know if I’m up for a date night, baby. It’s been such a long week. I was hoping we could just chill at home tonight.” TK says, and Carlos gets it; he feels the same, which is precisely why he planned a lowkey night in, not a night out.

“Who says a date night can’t be chilling?”

“What have you got planned?” 

“You’ll have to wait and see, won’t you,” Carlos tells him with a wink.

“Do I get a hint?” He pouts, but Carlos shakes his head, his curls bouncing as he does so and plants a kiss on his forehead.

“No hints, babe. Grab your coat.” 

TK hops down from the counter, grabbing a second cookie, “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

“You’ll know when we get there.”

It’s a crisp fall afternoon, and the leaves crunch beneath their feet as they walk half a block to their destination, hand in hand. 

“Are we going for coffee?” TK asks as Carlos stops outside the bookstore & coffee shop.

Carlos shakes his head. “We’re here to buy each other books, and then we’re going home to read and order Chinese for dinner.” 

“So I get to pick your book?” TK asks.

Carlos nods. “And I’ll be picking one for you. Meet you outside when we’re done?”

TK steps inside and starts searching the aisles for the perfect book. On the other hand, Carlos already knows exactly what book to pick for TK and only takes a few minutes to collect the pink paperback he had in mind from a display of queer book recommendations put together by the staff.

He’s not waiting outside long before TK appears, grinning and holding a paper bag.

“It’s about a handsome Texan who falls in love with an even more handsome outsider. I thought you might relate,” TK says with a flirtatious wink as he pulls a familiar pink paperback out of the bag and presents it to his husband.

“That’s funny because I thought you—a handsome outsider—might relate to a book about falling in love with an even more handsome Texan.” Carlos laughs as he takes out the same pink paperback from his own bag, a copy of Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston.

“We’re definitely on the same page today,” TK says, taking Carlos’ hand in his own to walk back to the apartment.

“Must be why we make such a good team.” 

When they get back to the apartment, TK kicks off his shoes and changes into a soft pink hoodie, Carlos sets out tea and cookies on the coffee table, and they settle in to read. They start out at opposite ends of the couch. Carlos is wearing his reading glasses and maintaining impeccable posture as he sits up straight against the back of the sofa, while TK is curled with his knees up to his chest in the corner of the chaise, book in one hand and a cookie in the other.

After about half an hour, Carlos looks up from his book to see TK seemingly zoned out. His gaze is fixed above the book in his hands. “Why aren’t you reading your book?” 

“I prefer watching you read,” TK says, dog-earing the book—earning a wince from Carlos—and placing it on the couch beside him, “I could watch you read all day. You look so peaceful, and you’re so damn sexy in those glasses.” 

“Shut up,” Carlos responds playfully.

“You love me.” 

“That I do.”

“Are you hungry?”

“I could eat,” Carlos replies, putting a bookmark in and closing his book.

They order Chinese and eat on the couch when it arrives, discussing what they’ve read and how Carlos can’t get over the similarities between TK and Alex Claremont Diaz so far. When TK clears away the takeout containers and puts the leftovers in the fridge, Carlos picks up his book to resume reading but is soon interrupted by TK planting himself right beside him, resting back against his chest. 

“Read to me?” He asks, relaxing further into him and looking up at him with those green eyes softened into an expression Carlos finds damn near impossible to say no to. 

Carlos nods and wraps his arms and the book around his shoulders. “Where were you up to?” 

“Chapter two,” TK responds, and Carlos starts reading.

By the time Carlos starts reading chapter three aloud, TK looks like he might have fallen asleep, but he insists he wasn’t.

“I was just closing my eyes and enjoying the story. Your voice is so soothing. This was exactly what I needed tonight, babe. Thank you.” TK says, turning to kiss him.

Several hours later, Carlos is once again sure TK is falling asleep on his chest, so he closes the book softly and starts to take off his glasses.

“One more page?” TK asks, opening his eyes to look up at him.

Carlos can’t resist that look, “One more page.”

Later that night, as the moonlight peeks through the curtains, Carlos lies awake, enveloped in his husband’s comforting embrace. Like most nights, TK drifted off quickly while Carlos lies awake with the world's weight on his shoulders. Some nights, even being wrapped in his husband’s arms isn’t enough to quieten his anxieties. 

As if he can sense how Carlos feels, TK, now awake, whispers to him. “He’s like you, you know.”

“Who?” 

“Henry.”

Carlos is surprised at first, but for the most part, he understands the comparison other than one huge point of difference. “Yeah, maybe, except for the fact he’s a prince .” 

“You’re a prince too, my very own personal prince charming,” Though he can’t see TK’s face, Carlos knows he’s grinning after delivering such a cheesy line.

“You are so cheesy,”

“But you love me,”

“I do,”  Carlos says; he loves TK more than he ever felt possible or than he ever thought he could allow himself to. He thinks over a quote from the book that reminds him so much of his own relationship, ‘I love him on purpose,�� because despite everything in his own past, in TK’s past, he loves TK— all of TK—on purpose. So he whispers back to his husband, “I love you on purpose.”

[officialzepresentation]

Arising from my creative nap to write about Team Free Will hunting a ghost at Firehouse 118. Dean Winchester, meet Evan Buckley.

[miloscozycorner]

nights 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞.

Carer!Owen Strand x Little!Reader

• Your job just got too much sometimes- and after a particularly tough call, you can’t help but slip into your tiny space. Luckily, Owen is there to help.

cw: age regression.

( 1273 Words )

authors note -> I headcanoned he has a couch in his office for connivence purposes.. yeah.

Everyone else was asleep in their bunks. The room was silent, except for the soft breaths of your team. The call had been so exhausting and just so draining that all everyone could think about was going straight to bed. Except you.

Thoughts raced through your mind, as they usually did when a call went south. Did you do too much? Too little? Fears and anxieties crept up on you slowly, and your stomach twisted. A familiar, fuzzy feeling floated over your head, and you held your pillow just a little bit tighter.

You couldn’t be small- not here. It wasn’t safe. No one knew. Not your friends, not your family, and certainly not the team. But no matter how hard you tried to shake the tiny headspace that was settling in, you couldn’t.

Footsteps echoed down the hallway and you jumped, your heart pounding in your chest. For a moment, you wondered who would possibly be awake at this hour until it hit you- Owen.

Of course he wasn’t asleep. He rarely slept in the bunks when the team did, usually opting to stay in his office.

You held your breath as he walked in, making his way to his bunk. At first, he seemed so distracted in finding whatever he was intent on finding that you didn’t think he would even take note of your crouched figure over in the darkness.

Until, you heard his voice whisper your name and his footsteps make his way over to your bunk. “Hey, is everything alright?” He asked slowly, watching as you held your pillow tight to your chest.

“‘M scared.” You murmured, hiding your face in the pillow. Owen hesitated, unsure of what to do. “And I- I feel tiny.” You added on in a quieter voice, looking up at him with hesitant and wide eyes.

“Tiny?” Owen repeated, his brows furrowing as he seemingly tried to figure out what that meant. He wasn’t entirely sure what exactly you were referring to but… he knew he felt a sense of protectiveness for you. Care, almost. But he couldn’t put his finger on it.

Hesitating, you repeated yourself, “Small. ‘M small.” You muttered, shifting in your place on the bed.

Owen opened his mouth, and then closed it. You seemed quite upset and he didn’t want to push it by asking any overwhelming questions. So instead, he just gave a short nod to show he was listening. “Right… okay, kiddo.”

Warmth fluttered in your chest as he gave you a small smile, though you knew he was a bit nervous.

“Well, you know bud, I have some paper in my office. I think maybe a box of crayons too. I know you’re feeling some hard feelings right now. But sometimes company and a fun activity can help the big feelings maybe seem… less big.” Owen said carefully.

It did sound like a good proposal- and you wanted to find a comfort with him. But part of you still felt scared that you were possibly bothering him. “I don’t wanna be a burden.” You whispered, staring down at the bedsheets.

He paused, before shaking his head. “No, no. That’s not true, tiny. I understand you must be… scared, right now. Feeling small but dealing with some big emotions.” Hesitating, he continued,

“But maybe it could be nice to have some company for a while, you think?” Owen offered carefully, studying your reactions.

Despite your anxiety, you found yourself nodding in agreement and standing up with him. Owen paused before he decided to give your shoulder a short pat. You couldn’t help but melt at the soft gesture- even though it was clear he was still trying to navigate it, the kindness of his actions was enough to make you overwhelmed.

You followed him down the hallways until you reached his office, moving to perch on a couch. He fumbled through his drawers, murmuring to himself until he reached out a couple blank sheets of copy paper and a box of crayons.

“I know it’s not a coloring book, or anything. Hopefully it’s still alright with you, tiny?” Owen asked carefully, handing you the box of crayons and the paper.

Observing the variety of crayon options you nodded, adjusting the paper on a coffee table as you started to color, letting the tension slowly ease from your muscles. You could feel your mind to start grow more fuzzy, but in a more comforting way than before.

Owen hesitated as he looked up from his paperwork momentarily, clearing his throat before he spoke up, “So, if you don’t mind me asking peanut, what was making you feel upset?”

Slowly, you moved your eyes to look up at him. You chew on your bottom lip nervously as you try to formulate a reply, the crayon pausing its movements. “I, uhm.. the call. Scared me.” You admitted lowly.

He gave a sympathetic look and, hesitantly, moved to sit next to you on the couch. He patted your shoulder carefully, “You know, it’s okay to get scared sometimes kiddo. I get scared sometimes too. It’s part of the job.”

You nodded at his words, continuing your coloring silently. You couldn’t help but feel a soothing sense of comfort at his words, and your heart fluttered when he gave you hair a soft ruffle.

“What are you drawing there, buddy? Looks pretty neat.” Owen complimented, giving you a small smile as he watched you draw.

“Fire truck.” You babbled, picking out a red crayon to color in the outline of a truck, showing Owen all the different colors you were using for your drawing. He hummed enthusiastically as you drew, nodding along with you.

He picked up an orange crayon, handing to you as you drew. “Wow, I didn’t know you were such a talented little pal. I guess I have the best tiny artist in town, don’t I peanut?” Owen teased, giving your hair a ruffle.

With a giggle, you looked up at him. “You’re so silly.” You mumbled, hiding your face.

Owen made a face of feign contemplation, tapping his chin. “I think maybe I have the silliest kiddo around too!” He finally exclaimed with a gasp, looking down at you as you giggled even more.

“You’re being too silly!” You laughed, hiding your face as you curled in on yourself on the couch and watched him tease you playfully.

Owen helped color drawing after drawing, promising to keep each one at his desk (and maybe even hang one on his bulletin board!) The night slowly passed into the daylight and you could slowly feel your eyes start to droop.

“Hey peanut, why don’t you get some sleep?” He finally offered softly as you struggled to move the crayon the paper, too occupied with yawning and rubbing your eyes.

You grumbled, trying to shake your head. “But what if we get a call?” You asked quietly, looking up at him.

Owen gave you a small smile, giving your head a comforting pat. “It’s alright, tiny. We’ll be okay. I think you should get some rest. You can sleep on the couch, if you want? I have a blanket and a pillow, kiddo.”

The offer was convincing enough and without too much coaxing needed, you found yourself curled up on his office couch with the blanket covering your body.

“Alright tiny, get some rest.” Owen mumbled, fixing the blanket over your torso. “I’ll check on you a bit later, mkay?”

You nodded and curled inward, your eyes growing heavy. Owen turned the overheard light off, and you drifted off to the sound of his soft footsteps pattering out of the office.

[blueathens]

(Please Don’t) Let Me Drown - Agape

                      ACT THREE, CHAPTER TWO

SONG: How To Save A Life by The Fray QUOTE: “Some firefighter you are, aren’t you meant to be doing the saving? We could die out here.”

TW: Drowning, Slight Mention of Suicide,

A/N: Not read through or checked!

Previous || Next

Masterlist//Agape Masterlist

Drowning: When victims eventually submerge, they hold their breath for as long as possible, typically 30 to 90 seconds. After that, they inhale some water, splutter, cough, and inhale more. Survivors say there is a feeling of tearing and burning sensation in the chest as water goes down into the airway. Then that sort of slips into a feeling of calmness and tranquillity. That calmness represents the beginnings of the loss of consciousness from oxygen deprivation, which eventually results in the heart stopping and brain’s death.

Kasey was drowning, and it wasn’t at all like the stories.

She remembers one of her old mates – Trey Malik – trying to explain what drowning felt like after he experienced it mere minutes ago, she recalls her army jacket around his shoulders providing him warmth after she dragged him out from the river, she recollects the memory of his shivering body and she remembers watching him instead of holding him, he didn’t want to be held, he insisted on being okay, he just needed a moment to catch his breath then they could continue their mission. He was the one who started the conversation, she knew she didn’t want to hear it, but he didn’t stop, he told her it was important for her to know, important for her to listen to the experience so she knows how to get herself out of it if the time came.

She remembers laughing at that, stating that she will never get herself in that position.

She wasn’t going to drown.

She is even reminded of making a passing joke of how he didn’t get out by himself, she did, she helped him. So if she ever got herself in a position where she was drowning, then the only way to be saved is by someone else.

Trey shrugged his shoulders and mutters a “you never know” before telling her everything he experienced not long ago.

Instead of hearing of a horror story, she was enlightened by a tale that almost came across as a love song towards drowning, Kasey even recognises a sense of comfort washing over his face, one that someone would have when reliving a childhood memory, but instead he was talking about drowning, talked about it as if it was an old friend that gave him such a loving hug, a hug that he has desired for so long, a hug he just needed.

Kasey thinks that was the first time she has ever felt such a bubble of sadness coming from Trey, she recalls feeling closer to him at that moment as she too carried such a heavy heart of sadness that any danger that came her way, she would greet it as if it was a friend, but hearing Trey like that made her hate the world more, because why on earth would our planet be so cruel to such a lovely, good person? He doesn’t deserve to hold such sadness, he didn’t deserve to be out here away from those he cares for, he didn’t deserve to find comfort within drowning.

He didn’t deserve that.

And that made Kasey hate the world more, and it made her want to hug him and take him to a different world, far from this one, a world where he can find peace within the cool air on a spring’s morning, it’s what he deserved at least.

But he didn’t want that, she knew that by the way he talked, by the way he looked, he didn’t want to be saved, perhaps he couldn’t be saved, or maybe he just wasn’t ready yet and when he was then the only one who could help him would be himself.

And that was difficult for Kasey to process, and she thinks she never will truly process it because to her, she can save people, she can help, but Trey was never the person she could, and that’s just a fact that she thinks she’ll never come to terms with.

Perhaps it was a childish thought of Kasey’s to think that she could save everyone, and that saving them would even make her feel better about herself because maybe it’s too late for her to save herself, but it’s not too late to save everyone else.

And it’s stupid, she knows this, she knows it because she’s always the one saving everyone yet there will never be someone to save her…she’s the second choice, maybe not even that, maybe not even the third choice. But Kasey has to save everyone, she just has to, but when she needs saving then no one has to save her, no one chooses to save her, and then she gets to the point where it’s too late to be saved, and she just simply gives up, but to everyone she seems selfish even though she never got anything in return.

She always carried this thought that she was replaceable, that if someone wanted to, they could throw her away like a dead flower, that once stood tall and blossomed under the sunlight, but now only fallen petals remained, and who would even want to keep a wilting flower when there was a sweeter one just outside?

She overthinks it a lot, she overthinks how replaceable she is, and how most of her friends would now walk past her and not give her a second look because to them, she was just a stranger, but to her, she was the stranger that carried all the memories.

She wondered if Trey ever felt the way she did, maybe just once, maybe the currents made him feel wanted, maybe he felt unreplaceable within it, perhaps, just for a moment, he did feel okay, and he was truly telling her how lovely it was. Kasey pondered on this idea, but to her, nothing, absolutely nothing, could make her think drowning could possibly be relaxing.

And if Trey did truly think this, then Kasey began to hate the world even more.

He told her drowning was more peaceful than he could ever imagine, he said maybe he thought that as anything could be more peaceful than fighting in a war, he enjoyed the tranquil silence and the feeling that he was floating on clouds. For a moment he thought he was being gently lifted to the gates of heaven, he thought it was his time to go, and he even thought that drowning wasn’t the worst possible way to go.

Trey found it peaceful, but Kasey was in so much pain.

She was panicking. She barely could see anything in front of her. The water felt like it was suffocating her, filling her lungs and her throat, and causing her to choke. She couldn’t tell if her eyes were open or not, the confusing and disoriented of shattered light through water that shouldn’t be here – that shouldn’t be washing through the city – it shouldn’t be here – if it was where it was supposed to be then Kasey would be able to breathe, to see, to know where she was. But she couldn’t.

Kasey couldn’t breathe. Kasey couldn’t see. And Kasey couldn’t tell which way was up and which way was down.

Her body grew tired of fighting the currents.

Trey told her it was comforting.

But Kasey could recall watching Trey panic before he stilled, and perhaps he didn’t remember that moment, doesn’t remember her fighting against the currents to reach him as she watches him thrash around, yelling, screaming her name. Maybe he didn’t remember that, maybe he didn’t want to remember it, perhaps he just wanted to remember the moment of calmness before you drown. Where you no longer kick or scream, and your lungs don’t have that agonising and burning pain where it feels like it will explode in any second. Where your mind goes blank and there’s just this gentle humming left in your ears – and it’s almost like the lullaby your mother would hum to get you to sleep, it almost becomes…nice.

Comforting.

It feels like a much-needed hug. That too is comforting.

Perhaps this is what death is like, Kasey wondered, perhaps after all of this chaos, death is just around the corner to hand you that certain comfort you have been lacking your entire life. But if this was dying, then why didn’t she see her life flash before her eyes? And why does she feel something other than the cold water that was swallowing her up?

Why could she feel a hand gripping her shirt tightly before pulling her up with them, and the moment her face breaks the surface she takes her first real breath since being under.

She coughed, choked, and spat out filthy, salty water. Her eyes brunt as she repeatedly blinked, once her vision cleared up slightly she noticed the familiar features that belonged to no other but her brother. He was gripping onto the side of a fire truck whilst also holding her as tight as he could – if anything he was holding onto Kasey more than he was gripping the side of the truck, because if he had to lose something it would be the surface of safety and not his sister – he won’t let her go.

Despite the burn within her eyes, she noticed her twin’s struggle, and with numb limbs she pushes herself forwards to also grip onto the side of the truck. TK’s other hand moved to hold the truck too as he pulls himself up, watching as Kasey did so too before collapsing the moment her body made contact with the top of the vehicle. She may not have been drowning under the currents anymore, but it sure did feel like she was drowning on top of this fire truck, she still felt trapped, still unable to do something as simple as breathing. And now instead of hearing a near comforting hum, she hears TK screaming her name before everything went dark.

Once Kasey asked Trey if there was anyone waiting for him at home, waiting on news of his return, or perhaps praying they’ll never get that letter along with a military officer and a Champlin at their doorsteps. He told her that he has a dog waiting on his return, and his father, and he hopes his older brother too, he said they had a complicated relationship, and that was all there was to it, he even said his grandmother would be waiting.

She asked what was the name of his dog, he responded with “Goldfish,” and Kasey remembers chuckling softly at that.

Trey asked if there was anyone waiting for her and Kasey wished she could say yes, but the sad fact was that she couldn’t, she didn’t have anyone.

She fell out with her family before coming here, her own mother never cared much for her, her twin brother, she believed resented her, her father was always doing his own thing, she doesn’t think he would be waiting, she wasn’t a good enough daughter for someone to wait at home for. And along with her twin brother, she knows her best friend hated her, he wouldn’t be waiting for, god he probably be wishing for her not to return. She’s exhausting, she knows this, and she even thinks that she doesn’t want to return home either, she’s too troubled, she can’t be saved, she didn’t have anyone, and she couldn’t hurt them anymore…

After a long silence, she told them him no – then she gave her small explanation after seeing his curious eyes, she didn’t say much, she never did, she never could, but still she tried.

Trey told her none of it was her fault, and she could never believe him, not then and not now.

Sometimes she could still feel the hug Trey gave her after that, Kasey hasn’t felt that vulnerable before, not for a long time at least, nor has she been held so lovingly, so comfortingly, in such a long time. Kasey thought she was going to break down in his arms, but she didn’t, but she knew she could’ve though.

Kasey wondered if that was what drowning felt for Trey, but instead of drowning within water, she was drowning within a hug.

It was peaceful.

It was comforting.

And it was nice.

Kasey began to slowly wake up, her head in TK’s lap as he combs his fingers through her hair. Her first thought was trying to remember where she was, but that all came back in flashes. She shook her head, squeezing her eyes, before opening them once more to see TK’s chin. She then wondered if anyone else she knew got caught up in this, and if they did, were they okay?

Maybe it was a good thing that she didn’t know that Buck and Christopher wasn’t so far away, them too stuck on a fire truck as they helped casualties on board. Cause if she knew then she would have forced her tired body to search for them, to help them, to make sure they were okay.

Kasey would have to make sure they were safe because they were her fam–

Kasey sat up, taking in her surroundings to only notice that there were a few more people on board, all frightened and cold and TK gave her a worrying look, a look that almost begged her to do something, to save them, to just have a plan. But for once, Kasey had nothing as she looked out and around the flooded city, seeing nothing but water and broken homes and objects.

“You helped them?” Kasey muttered as she continued to look out.

“Yeah,” TK whispers. “You were out for a bit so had to improvise.”

“Sorry,” she whispers back.

She feels his hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently as if he ushering her to look at him, and she does, she turns her head, looking over her shoulder with glassy, down, eyes.

“You have nothing to be sor–”

“Your brother said you’re around here. And that he’s a firefighter out in Texas. He mentioned that you were highly ranked in the military…suppose you have the best water training round here?” Kasey hums as her arm covers her face, blocking the sun as she looks at the man who spoke up.

“Did he now?” She purses her lips. “Suppose he mentioned I’m a firefighter too?” The man nods. “Cool.”

“So what do we do?” The man looks around at the other casualties.

“Nothing,” Kasey mumbles, “we can’t do anything – we’ll just have to wait for someone to come and rescue us.”

The man scoffed. “Some firefighter you are, aren’t you meant to be doing the saving? We could die out here.”

Kasey turns around, brows raised, studying the man, hand pressed against her hip, “Oh, I’m sorry Gary, I’ll just whip out the boat I’ve been carrying in my pocket all day and drive you all home in time for dinner.”

He scowled at her. “It’s Raphaël–”

“Some will be in much worst conditions than us, at least we’re safe, that’s what is important, no?” Kasey turns to look back out at the city filled with water. “I’ll try and find a way to get rescued quicker but can’t make no promises here.”

“Kas…” TK’s gentle voice came from behind, his hand squeezing her elbow gently, “you’re bleeding.” As if those words triggered some part in her brain, she feels a sudden sharpness coming from under her shirt, lifting it up she glances at the bruises littering her abdominal and an awful, long cut beginning from the top of her ribs down to her waist.

“I’m fine,” she insists, and she thoughts of this to be true, she’s had worst, and she continued as if it was nothing before, so to her this was fine, all of this was fine, she just wanted to go back to her home – well outside of her apartment, in her car, and just fall asleep…

…she just wanted some peace again.

Kasey lays down to peer over the truck, hands coming into contact with the open window, her fingers pressed against the inside framing and the metal framing of the inside to pull her further over so she can have a better look of the inside of the truck they were on. “You think the radio works?” She questions her brother who she knew was standing right by her, silently watching her body tense from the pain of moving around.

“Probably damaged from the water,” TK responds, ushering Kasey to stand as he hears her quietly groan from moving once again. “You’re going to tire yourself out, Kas, just stop for a moment, please.”

Kasey grimaces as she comes to a stand, “I just want to get us all out of here.”

“I know you do – but hurting yourself more in the process isn’t going to help anyone.”

Kasey thought she was seeing things at first when she saw TK’s right hand shake before he reached out to hold the top of her shoulder, she truly did thought her eyes were tricking her, but with the fear and worry twisted in his eyes, Kasey knew she wasn’t.

He wasn’t scared of her, she knew this, but for her? Yes.

He acted as if she was a fragile piece of artwork that’s been locked behind glass for centuries and now he’s the first to touch it, and he doesn’t even know if a simple brush of his fingers would have it crumbling, but Kasey wasn’t going to break, she knew this, she wasn’t damaged, she wasn’t going to crumble.

Kasey could hold herself longer now, she wasn’t nineteen anymore, she wasn’t nineteen who clung onto Trey Malik as if was the embodiment of air, the reason she could finally breathe again, she wasn’t nineteen no more who was desperate to be held.

Touch wasn’t a weakness for her no more, she gets held on many of occasions, Buck and Kit were the main sources of it, they were big huggers, always have been, physical touch has always been their thing and not fearing their touch proved to the young firefighter that she wasn’t desperate for it anymore, she was held enough to not whimper at the feeling of such comforting warmth no more.

But TK’s always been like this with her, of course they used to play wrestle when they were younger, pull one another’s hairs, the reason for some of the scars on their body after one pushed the other too hard off from the sofa causing the other to be in A&E. But still TK’s always had an element of softness with her, admitting once it’s because he doesn’t want to cause any harm to her, he tolerated a form of guilt growing up whenever he found her quietly ruffling through the medical basket (from the top of their fridge) late at night in their teen years, and he always ushered her to sit on the counter as he helped with the injuries she carried home with her that night, always being the one who has to listen to her holding back the cries of pain when his fingers brushes over a wound accidently, or whenever he began to stich her up as she insisted for no hospitals – she hates them – and that they can do it at home.

He was the one who usually saw her injured, and he was the one who stayed up until she came home just to help her, listening to her apologies for thinking she woke him again, when really she never did, he just awaits for her to make sure she returns home safely, even at his worst he still continued to make sure she came home. And then there was the guilt, the guilt that he gained growing up, watching her flinch at loud noises, especially from arguments, the way her body tensed whenever he tried to help with her injuries as that was the only way she could silently express her pain without waking anyone up, and he was the one who listened as she talked down on herself, thinking no one was there to hear, but he always did, he always would.

TK always wanted her to see him as something she could cling onto whenever she felt like the world was against her once again, but as they become older he knew he was barely that for her, in fact no one was that for her, but she was always that person for everyone else, especially for him.

And every day, TK wishes that Kasey one day finds someone who would happily sit in the dark with her, hand holding hers, as they distract her with random facts or how their day was, and only moves to turn on that switch to guide her out from the dark and welcoming her back into the light.

TK thinks she’s secretly back in the dark, actually he knows she was, and it’s sad to think that she still hasn’t find a comfort person yet – someone who will just help her when she’s down, to let her know she was enough, to just hold her.

TK was guilty when it came to Kasey, he wished they had a better life together, they deserved it, well he would like to think that they did, they were – are – good people, and that’s got to count for something, right? TK has questioned time from time if, in another parallel universe, they got the life they deserve, that they got to be the siblings they should have been, not the ones that were too damaged, not those ones, but the ones who were just happy, the ones who lived nearer together just so they could meet up easier.

Perhaps in that other life they be working together, living that dream they had when they were so young. Perhaps everything was okay in their lives, and they got to be the siblings they deserved to be in this life.

TK knew one day though he wouldn’t be so guilty, he knew those injuries he helped to cover up weren’t his fault, but at times whenever he accidently pressed too hard against a bruise or something then his stomach would twist, and he would be overcome with a sudden sickness all because he was reminded with the fact that he could never protect Kasey.

He thinks that’s what he was most guilty for, in the end it was never about the accidental touches of aiding her injuries, it was always the fact that he could never protect her, Kasey was always doing her own thing, she was always in some form of trouble, she was always someplace else, she was out of his reach, and TK couldn’t ever protect her like he wished he could, but she did for him, and she always will.

But they weren’t kids no more, they were now nearing the age of twenty-five and now, TK wonders, now it could be the time he could protect Kasey, bring her out from the darkness, and to just let go of this guilt, and then maybe, just maybe they could be each other’s safety net, they would feel brave enough to come to each other whenever they needed to, maybe, just maybe, he could play the role of an older brother – older by only fifteen minutes – and just simply protect her, even if it just as simple as protecting her from herself, in the sense that she doesn’t hurt herself more, that she doesn’t do her thing where she doesn’t think of herself, that for once she could just take a moment, take a breath, and think on the situation with him.

Her hands once again found home on her hips, face scrunching as a finger graze the wound and she ignores the look TK gave her.

“Let me check it out–”

“God, I’m so glad I didn’t take my car here.” Kasey mutters, looking up to the sky, as she changes the subject. “Or I would–”

“Lose your house?” Kasey head snaps towards his smug appearance, eyes narrowing at him, and her mouth itches to respond; but she doesn’t. “I’m not wrong am I?”

“I will throw you overboard.”

“No you won’t,” TK smirks, “you’re too nice to do that. Besides,” he then raises his shoulders before dropping them just as quick, “you’ll miss me.”

Kasey hums before her eyes glances over at everyone else for a quick moment before she steps closer to her brother to quietly talk with him. “We got to try and find some rescue for them soon though, the first wave of a tsunami is never the worst,” her eyes flickers back over to the group, maybe about seven other people, all adults, “even if that means we’re our own rescue team.”

“Kasey, that’s to risky and in your condition–”

“Forget about my injury, I’ll live, okay? We can use the hose and the things around us to try and find somewhere better, perhaps find a proper rescue team or even a hospital.” She ran a hand through her hair. “We don’t know how long rescue will be, we don’t know how much more damage is out there, and whilst we’re at it we can rescue more people.”

“You said that the only thing we can do is wait.”

She sighs, “I only said that as I didn’t have time to think of anything else.”

Now TK sighs as he looks around desperately, hand holding the back of his head, and he balances out their options within his mind. “TK, it’s better if we move than sit around, we’re only getting colder here.”

“I know, I know.” He turns his head to now look at the group, they’re all sitting around close to one another to try and warm the other arm, but most were still shivering. “How long you think we got?”

“Until the second wave?” Kasey questions, and he nods, “I don’t know, man.” She now faces the group, making small movement to get closer to them. “Is anyone injured at all?” Kasey grimaces slightly that she hasn’t even asked them how they were yet.

“No one’s injured, Kas,” TK answered. “I asked whilst you were out and–” He stops when he notices a sudden rush in the water. No, no, no, no, not now, please not now, TK silently begs.

He thinks he hears Kasey tell people to get down, his mind was no longer here, he just thinks about the second wave, and the second wave only. He thinks he hears screams, and he thinks he hears Kasey trying to calm them down, but he doesn’t know what she says, instead his hand grabs the hose, pulls on it tightly and his eyes focuses on it unwrapping, he turns, gestures it towards Kasey who pulls on it too, ushering everyone to grab ahold of it, that maybe if they were lucky enough they would still be attached to this fire truck at the end of it.

There’s were screams as the second wave hit, it was nothing like the waves that lapped the shore every minute of every day. It was a wall of filthy, cold, and powerful water. The water had no gentle softness to it, instead it had no thought, no motion, and no hesitation as it destroys everything in it’s path just to hit their targets. Within moments, TK was breathing the air, and just as he took a deep breath he feels frigid foamy fingers grabbing a hold of him.

It was their dear old friend, the ocean.

The water was once a great fear of TK’s when he was younger, he thinks it started when he was three where his uncle thought it was a good idea to take him onto a waterslide. They went down a long, twisting concealed one but as they came to the end his uncle didn’t let him go, instead he pulled him right under the chemical water with him. TK doesn’t remember it fully, he just remembers a glimpse of a waterslide and a flash of memory that showed him under the pool’s water, and every now and then, when he was younger, he could feel that sudden tightness within his chest.

TK tried to stay away from the depths of water from then on, always panicking whenever his family tried to bring him into the pool with them, but he wasn’t having any of it.

He remembers a wedding at the age of five, and the same uncle who created his fear of water was teaching his sister how to surf in the far distance whilst he was with his mother taking photos, he recalls that she told him not to wander off, but he does so anyways, he walks down the pier, wanting to see how much panic the ocean can truly offer him, he was fine with just staring at it first, he then decided maybe to sit down in the opening between the two broken fences, but instead his foot somehow slipped and he fell into the water, his mother jumps in to save him within seconds, cause little TK didn’t know how to swim, nor did he know how to breathe under the sea.

At five, he learnt how much fear the ocean has to offer.

Up to the age of ten, TK would stay on the beach building sandcastles with his family, but his eyes were always distracted by his sister and his uncle out on the waves; surfing. His ears always listened to the way his father complained every day and how he wished Gwen’s brother didn’t teach Kasey on how to surf, he didn’t understand the problem, it wasn’t like Kasey was afraid of water so why would it be a problem if she enjoyed the feeling of the water crashing over her every time she fell off her surfboard? She seemed to be laughing each time her face breaks the surface and then off she went back onto her surfboard to catch another wave.

TK longed to surf with his sister, but he never did, not even when he overcame his fear, Owen truly wasn’t having it, he couldn’t have both kids learning to surf, he couldn’t let it happen again.

So at the age of seven TK stopped learning how to surf among the safety of the sands, he never took another board out from the stands and tried to learn, to mimic everything Kasey did out in the sea, his fingers never brushed the sands the same since seeing how furious his father was after TK stated he would surf with Kasey one day, he never thought about learning to surf one day again.

At the age of ten, TK learnt how to swim, Kasey was adamant about it, she said it was time for him to overcome his fears and learn how to swim because what if you fall in again and no one was there to save you? What would you do then? It was a brutal honest truth that TK never wanted to know, but deep down he knew he had to learn, had to overcome. Because what if he did one day fall into a body of water and there was no one around to save him? He wouldn’t know how to get out of that situation, he would be panicking more as he had no experience in even swimming.

One of Kasey’s friends had a pool in their back garden, it was quite odd to ten-year-old TK considering they lived in New York City, but he never questioned it. So, every Tuesday, after school, they would learn how to swim for an hour in Kasey’s friend pool whilst her friend was with Gwen learning the piano.

Once he reached his teenager years TK wasn’t afraid of water no longer, and he thought of himself as a confident swimmer too. But still, whenever they found themselves at the beach, TK stayed on the beach, becoming familiar with the sands once again whilst he watches his sister out on the waves, he did still wish to be out there with her, but his fingers never touched a board, no, because maybe he wasn’t afraid of water anymore but seeing how scared, how angry their father was whenever he hears about Kasey talking about surfing, made him never want to feel what it was like when the waves were beneath you.

“Buck!”

That was the first thing both Strands heard as they tried to come back to their surroundings, both could still feel the re-enforced plastic in their hands and they heard some groans around them, perhaps they were alright, perhaps everyone was able to stay –

“Buck!”

Kasey pulls herself across the top of the fire truck, fingers pressing against the side as she grimaces at the pressure against her injuries, once her head hit the small bump that was on the top of the fire truck, gesturing that she reached the side of it, she hesitantly looked over the top to see who was yelling such a familiar name.

Her heart was heavy, wishing it wasn’t someone she knew, but the name, the voice, it was so–

“Buck?!”

Kasey blinks as she narrows her eyes at the blurry figure in the water, a yellow stripped top she thinks they’re wearing and they’re resting against the side of what she would say, a wooden plank and –

Oh god.

Oh, no, no, no.

“Christopher!” Kasey yells, voice strained from her previous yells for everyone to get down, strained from the amount of water she thinks she accidently inhaled and –

“Christopher!” She calls again and she was on her feet, diving into the water with no hesitation. It was Eddie’s boy – it was Christopher – it was her sweet Christopher, and he was yelling for her best mate and–

The water was still deep in the area they were in, not yet washed out back to sea like she was hoping it would, so she fought against the water that was still rushing through the destruction and she doesn’t stop until she reaches a trunk of a tree that was surprisingly still standing tall, with a heavy breath she awaits for a second as the plank of wood Chris was keeping himself up with passes by, and when it did she quickly grabbed him and pulled him tightly towards her.

Her arms were firmly around him as she takes a step back, her right hand was cupping the back of his head and her eyes were furrowed shut as she just lets him cling onto her, his fingers twisting into the back of her shirt, gripping it tightly, afraid to just disappear again.

“I got you; I got you, love.” She rushes out. “You’re gonna be okay kid, I’ve got you now, I’ve got you.”

Christopher blinks into the shoulder of the women he was so familiar with, and his fingers pressing into her back even more at the realisation it’s her – he’s going to be okay as she’s got him now and oh my word it’s –

“Kasey?”

Oh, and how her stomach fell at the sound of his weak, tired, and quiet voice, no, god, no, why did he of all people had to be caught out in this.

“Oh, baby,” she utters gently, she now stands in the gap behind the tree, the water wasn’t so strong or deep there, so she was able to rest and look at Chris properly as she stood there whilst she thought on how to get them back to the fire truck. “What are you – where’s your glasses?”

“I-I,” he stutters, stumbling over every other word as he speaks with her, “I lost them. I lost Buck. He was helping and-and I fell…I lost Buck and–”

She hushes him gently, brushing his hair back with her hand before her hand falls to lay softly against his cheek where her thumb brushes away the fallen tears. “Oh, honey,” she frowns as she tries to act calm with him, but she wasn’t, she couldn’t be, Buck was out there too, and she has no idea if he was okay, and he would be worried sick because Chris wasn’t with him any longer and he wouldn’t know that Chris was safe – that he was with her now. “We’ll find Buck and your glasses, let’s just get you back to the truck.”

The water was still by the time she calmed Chris down by the tree and it meant she could take them back to the truck much easier than it would have been earlier.

“You remember TK, right Chris?” Kasey questioned as TK waved with a soft smile at the boy, throwing Kasey a worried glance, it didn’t cross TK’s mind that children would have been caught in this mess, not until he saw Eddie’s kid right in front of him, shivering in Kasey’s arms as she holds him, hands rubbing up and down his as she placed light kiss on top of his head every now and then.

Chris nods.

He remembers TK, he was Kasey’s older brother, by fifteen minutes if he remembers correctly from hearing them playfully arguing about it. TK shared a bag of sweets with him when they sat in the waiting room together whilst waiting on news about Kasey, he remembers that TK shared the same taste when it came to pick n’ mix, his father was asleep next to him, arms folded, and Chris never told him about the amount of sweets he ate that day as he listens to Owen’s – TK and Kasey’s father – stories about being a firefighter out in Texas.

So, of course he remembers the nice man that’s Kasey’s brother.

TK kneels down, hand reaching forwards to ruffle the younger boy’s curls. “What you doing out here, bud?”

“I was with Buck,” he tells TK in a quiet voice, “we went to the carnival on the pier and–”

“Buck’s here?” TK mouths to Kasey who just nods as she lays another kiss on top of Chris’ head, but she was quick to move away, tilting her head back as she let out a low hum at Chris shuffling back into her stomach, her eyes scrunches up and Chris was quick to turn around to try and find out what the fuss is about.

“Kasey,” his finger presses against her chin, next to the cut his eyes has just caught sight of. “You’re bleeding.” Kasey wanted to chuckle at his worriedness about her, she was glad he didn’t catch sight on the pain she was in and that he thought it was just a cut that caused her that sudden distress that caught his attention.

“It’s nothing, kiddo,” she didn’t know there was a cut on her chin until he pointed it out, perhaps she got it when she pulled herself across the roof of the truck, perhaps it was just a graze that was only slightly bloody.

“You need a plaster.”

“I tell you what,” she begins as she adjusts him in her lap, moving him slightly away from the ache in her left leg and more onto her right leg, one of his arms where around her shoulder, fingers brushing the back of her neck, and his other hand was in his lap. “When we get to some land you can find me the best plaster for the graze.” Chris nods.

“Spider-Man ones?”

“I think that be well cool!” She grins and TK smiles as she watches the interaction in front of him. “TK?” Her brother hums. “We got to start moving, the water should be shallow enough for us to walk through now.”

“What if there’s another wave?”

“We’ll just have to hope for the best that’s this is it.”

TK nods, standing up from his crouching position to rub his hands against the wet material of his jeans before he leans forwards to pick Chris off from Kasey for a moment whilst she tells everyone that it be best if they move and try and find some help, after some glances shared between them Kasey states that they could stay on the truck if they wanted and when she finds help she’ll try and send them their way, but it be quite risky to stay on a truck that’s practically flooded.

She jumps down from the truck and into the water below, taking Chris out from TK’s arms as she brings him down into the water too, but instead of letting him go, she adjusts him into a more comfortable position for her to carry him.

TK, along with the other’s, jump down from the truck too and collectively follow the Strands and the kid on their mission to find some help.

“Perhaps we can go to the zoo together one day,” TK speaks up after walking in silence for a little too long for his liking.

“The zoo?” Kasey raises a brow at her brother who just responses with a huge grin.

“Yeah!” He’s got a sudden spring in his step. “Both of our families – you know the 126 and the 118, that cop,” TK clicks his finger as he tries to think of her name. “Athena! Athena can come and Chris obviously be coming with us and–”

“And your cop boyfriend?” Kasey smirks, forging a pain of hurt as TK slaps her shoulder, the one that was closest to him, but furthest from Christopher.

“Not my boyfriend,” TK mutters, the spring leaving his step, as he folds his arms across his chest, pouting ever so slightly.

Kasey only hums, corner of her mouth still tugged up.

“I like the zoo,” Chris jumps into the conversation.

“Oh, yeah?” TK holds his hands behind his back, his right hand wrapping round his left wrist whilst his attention is on the boy in Kasey’s arms. If he didn’t know her, he would have thought they were mother and son, that thought alone brought a kind look onto his face as he thought about one day the pair of them will find someone who loves them, and perhaps they’ll have kids with their significant others, however that be, and they would have those family days that they never got growing up, that one day they could actually be a family they deserved, start again now that Kasey was in LA and he’s started a new life in Texas – perhaps this is life giving them another chance, another go at life.

Another warm thought bubbles within TK, and that was the thought of the boy in Kasey’s arms becoming his family too, he hears the way Kasey talks about the Diaz’s, he sees how happy they have made her and how much they helped her too, and of course there was Buck, her LA best friend, but he was just like another brother to her, but Eddie – my god, Kasey deserves to have someone good like Eddie, she really does, and TK could only hope that the universe just gives her the best.

He's seen the way Eddie looks at her too, of course TK seen it, even a blind person could sense the way Eddie feels about Kasey, and usually TK would get slightly concerned whenever guys are interested in his sister due to her never having good past relationships, but Eddie, he would know she be safe with him, that she’ll be okay, that’s she’ll be happy, and god did she deserve that.

So, maybe one day, if the universe isn’t so mean, the Diaz’s will become very familiar to him and his own father, and perhaps they’ll have those BBQ nights whenever they’re down in Texas or LA. And everyone they see as family joins too, and the kids are at the end of the garden playing some imaginary game and the adults are laughing.

And they’re all just happy.

Maybe, just maybe, they get the things they deserve, because they’re all good people, and that gotta mean they deserve something good at least, right?

“What’s your favourite animal?” He questions and Chris thinks for a little while before answering –

“Lions? I like lions.”

“They’re pretty cool, aren’t they kiddo?” Kasey says as she takes in her surroundings once more, making sure she’s a step ahead of everyone just in case anything happens then she be the first to discover it.

Whilst Chris told them a little fact about lions, TK nudged Kasey’s arm before leaning closer to whisper: “why are we heading more towards the pier?”

Kasey felt her eyes widen, quickly turning her head to look at her brother. She didn’t think he’ll notice, in fact she didn’t think he’ll even know the area they were heading towards, but he did.

“We’re not going there directly–” She sighs, “I just need to see if there’s any sighting of Buck…” Kasey looks back at Chris with a fake, relaxed smile, “you said lions starts off spotty?” He nods. “I think that makes them even cooler. You know, Chris, I think you’re just like a lion – you’re really brave. The bravest person I know.”

“Really?”

“Yeah – I’m real glad your dad joined the 118, or I wouldn’t have met the coolest, bravest person out there.”

Christopher smiles brightly before burying his face into Kasey shoulder as he hugs her tightly, “I’m really glad too.”

Kasey was surprised by not stumbling across anyone else, she wonders if rescue has been close by and that everyone else has been rescued within the area, perhaps they just missed a rescue boat, but Kasey hasn’t heard no engine, or any noise expect their movements through the waters and the quiet chatter amongst the group.

She thought all was rescued till she heard a scream for help coming from a building to the right up ahead, someone was trapped under some of the damage from the buildings and trees and Kasey purses her lips as she looked around quickly, checking that the area they were in was fine for everyone to wait within for a few seconds whilst she goes to help the person.

Coming to a quick judgement, she hands Christopher over to TK and Christopher almost calls for her, begging her not to go, to not leave him, he lost Buck the same way too, he can’t lose Kasey too.

Kasey brushes back his hair as she stands in front of the pair. “Hey, kiddo, you’re gonna be okay. I’ll just need to help that person over there,” she jerks her thumb behind her shoulder to the person who was crying for help. “And then I’ll be right back.” And with that she rushed – as quickly as she could with the waist-high water – towards the one in danger.

“Hey! Hey! I’m here to help,” she offers out a hand, “I’m firefighter Strand of the 118, I just need you to tell me if anything hurts whilst I take this weight of you, okay?” She heard a chocked out okay from them before she began to push and pull a mixture of debris off from the stranded person.

The water was raising.

No – no, not again, please not again.

She was pushing it off quicker now, and the second her hand grabbed the person underneath and pulled them up to their feet, the third wave came, and Kasey could hope that this was the last one as she pushes the stranger to the wall and held the pair of them for coverage.

Kasey was no stranger to metaphoric drowning; she was so used to her heart anchoring her down. Weighing her down to the point that she could no longer move. She was so used to the cold feeling, the loneliness, the pain, it all felt normal for her now.

Kasey knew most would be familiar with the sense of metaphoric drowning, but most usually were able to break the surface, catch their breath, learn how to breathe again. Kasey thinks she’s been under for too long now, she doesn’t think she’ll ever meet the light that dances across the surface.

Kasey would like to think that TK was beginning to learn how to breathe again after New York, and Kasey is thankful for it as TK deserved to rest, he deserved his happiness, he was a good person, he didn’t deserve to drown.

On his way to Texas, Kasey recalls a private phone call between the pair, it was short as she was on her shift, but in the call, TK begs her to come to Texas, to fix their family, to mend it, to rebuild it, he tells her he would have never gotten better for himself, he only did for her, dad, and mum, and he tells her, with the quietest of voices that he needed her, he needed his sister, and he begs for her to come live with them in Texas, they can live out their dream on being firefighters together, but Kasey told him no, she couldn’t, she may have an alright relationship with their father and a strong relationship with TK, but she knew if she ever lived with them then it would just destroy her more, her chances of ever seeing the surface would vanish in a blink of an eye and she would just have to befriend the ocean floor.

She could live with TK, she knew she could, and hearing his broken voice over the phone made her want to drop everything and come and live with him, but her and their father didn’t see eye-to-eye all of the time, they were better than her and Gwen, but that wasn’t enough, that wasn’t enough, none of it was enough – despite wanting to be there for TK, she knew living with them wasn’t going to do her no good, so she declined.

She told him she’ll visit when she can and she’ll always be in LA if he needed, and she suppose she just has to continue watching him live his life through the photographs he sends, and the calls he makes, and she’ll just have to watch him from the distance like she always have.

Maybe in another life they could have gotten what they deserved as siblings.

But in this one they grew up together with different memories and experiences from their childhood. The pair were prodigy children but love for Kasey has always been contingent. Unlike TK, who was seen as the child who could do no wrong, Kasey was the burnout child, the troublemaker, and she was just too difficult for them.

In her childhood bedroom there were many sport trophies in which TK, Kit, and Vanessa watched her win (most of them), Owen tried to watch her win as many as he possibly could and Gwen…well, when she came it was clear she never wanted to be there.

Kasey wore the title of ‘disappointment’ with the most honour though. It was a common word that was thrown at her, the phase “you won’t be anything” followed closely behind. And despite her telling everyone she was fine, no one would truly understand the weight of her families words. TK heard the fights, but that didn’t mean he understood the way Kasey felt about their family, he didn’t have to live up to their family expectations, and he didn’t have to listen to the constant reminders from their mum of how much she has sacrificed to get him there, and that everyone is counting on him – no, TK never knew what that side of the family was like, that was what Kasey always saw and heard. He heard the proudness, but she heard the disappointments, the “you’re just not good enough.”

TK was never the one who threw up before every game in his sophomore year, no, that was Kasey. Kasey, the one who had to sit in the car listening to her mum scream at her if she lost, or worst, they just sat in silence. Whenever Gwen came to watch Kasey play, coincidentally Kasey’s team lost, it was as if she was their bad luck charm, or perhaps it was the way she made Kasey so nervous to the point she couldn’t concentrate properly because she wanted to show her mum that she was good, that she wasn’t such a screw up, that she was good at something.

But no, whenever she came to watch they lost and it was always Kasey’s fault, the one who was to be blamed, and the one who gets told she wasn’t worth the trophies in her room.

Kasey never had a childhood, but she made sure TK did, she sacrificed everything just to make sure he didn’t ever see the side of their family she saw, that he was happy, that he’ll never experience the feeling of drowning. And she would do it again. She would. She would go though all the pain all over again as long as it ends with TK being happy.

But he would never remember that it was her who had to make microwave meals in the first few years after the divorce because Gwen was always busy with Enzo. Once she overheard that Gwen couldn’t stand being in the same house as her daughter, so Kasey took it upon herself to stay in her room for as long as possible just for TK to have the chance to have family dinners again with Gwen and now her new boyfriend, Enzo, and then when they were all in bed Kasey would eat the leftovers or find something else to eat.

She couldn’t let TK live the way she did, even as a young child she knew this, TK deserved a childhood and Kasey was fine with eating at the dining table alone every night.

Gwen blames Kasey for her and Owen’s divorce, despite it being the weight of the 9/11 incident mixed with some other personal problems, no, Kasey was apparently a massive factor in their divorce and Kasey remembers her father telling her that she could come live with him if she wanted, she would’ve said yes if it wasn’t for TK, but there was TK and she couldn’t leave him, she couldn’t do that to him, so she decided to stay – for him.

TK will never know that it was his younger sister that raised him for most of his childhood as their dad was grieving and their mum…was well, Gwen. But to TK, Kasey knew he would always remember their mum being there, and she was, in a way, she was there for him at least whenever she wasn’t around.

But TK does remember, he does remember some it, like how she was the one who taught him how to swim, when it really should have been one of their parents, but no it was his twin sister, and my god was he thankful for her.

He always has been thankful for her, even if he could never recall the extent she went for him at times due to the way she protected and shield him for that side of their family. But despite all this, Kasey knew that TK would remember the times she failed him, that she was the one to blame for him to understand the feeling of metaphoric drowning, she was the one who believed to be blamed for him starting drugs, and she was the one who left him…and that’s the main thing he’s going to remember, he wont remember how she accepted the abandonment from her mother just so TK could still have a mum, and he will never remember how Kasey sacrificed her life to make sure TK was happy. No, he’ll never know because Kasey will never tell him, she doesn’t want him to feel guilty as there was no reason to. But Kasey would do it again, she was his sister, she was meant to protect him, she felt lighter when she saw her brother happy – he deserves it, he’s a good person.

But the thing Kasey knew she’ll never be able to handle was the fact that out of everything, TK will remember how she left the most, he’ll memorise every detail of that night, and be able to relive it all the time. He’ll remember how she left, and he’ll remember how, like every disappointed child, she hid in her own shadow and drowned.

But even though she left, even though she carried the belief that TK hated her, Kasey will never know how many times TK fell asleep in her bed after she left. Kasey would never know how much TK talked to himself in her room, pretending she was there, telling her ghost that he missed her and to come back home.

She will never know that despite how she left, despite the fights, despite the disagreements, all TK ever wanted was for his little sister to come back.

Kasey never knew that even though he never responded, he kept every letter she ever sent him in those years they spent not seeing each other, in a shoebox under his bed, and how he would pull that shoebox out and re-read every letter that he was ever given by her, he even put in the letters he got from her throughout the years, even birthday cards, and he would read them all every night that she spent out at war.

All TK ever wanted was his little sister.

Now, she was under the water again, fighting against the current, and her eyes felt heavy, but she continued to fight. So fought like a maniac as she struggled to regain control, thrashing until her limbs gave out and the light above the surface drifted away, leaving her numb in the darkness. But even then, even when her body felt like giving up, she fought even more.

Finally, her face broke the surface, even if it was just for a second, she made sure to look around, the stranger wasn’t there no longer, the group wasn’t there, and nor was TK or Christopher. Kasey knew she was about to lose air again, she knew she was going to go under again, and Kasey knew she should focus on trying to get some air back into her lungs, but she couldn’t.

She couldn’t because how can someone catch another breath when all the air has just left your lungs the moment you realise two of the people you care most about wasn’t there?

TK and Christopher was no longer with her.

But somehow she gasped for her last breath of air before the icy-cold water flooded in; her throat burned as if a thousand needles had been plunged into it. But her gasp wasn’t truly her last breath, it was really her last scream as she called their names, but the heavy blanket around her swallowed that up and dulled her senses before embracing her into another tight, warm, suffocating hug.

Kasey was growing tired, she wanted to become a victim to the hug and just fall further into it.

Perhaps this is the peace Trey told her about, that you’ll truly feel all the pain leave your body and nothingness will fill your body as you just fall into the embrace that Poseidon gives you. You feel warmth from his sandy, bubbly, fingers, and you’ll feel yourself nodding along to him questioning you if you were ready to leave.

But at that question, Kasey found herself shaking her head, eyes still squeezed shut, but she attempted to wake her body up, even if it’s just for a few minutes just so she could swim up to the surface again. Because maybe Trey found comfort within Poseidon hold, but she didn’t, she wasn’t ready to go, not yet, and even if she was, she just couldn’t leave, not when TK and Chris needed her.

So she fought her way back to the surface with two things on her mind. She thought of TK. And she thought of Christopher. And that alone was enough for her to continue to fight.

                                               ❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

“Hey – Hey, I’m looking for a TK – Tyler Kennedy Strand, and Evan Buckley and Christopher Diaz.” Kasey’s strained voice begs the woman in scrubs that stood in front of her. The tips of Kasey’s fingers were bloody, and she lightly touches one of the woman’s arms, body flinching at the realisation of what she just done.

The lady looks Kasey over with the bottom of her lip tucked in between her teeth. Kasey didn’t look so good, not with the cuts over her face and the blood-soaked t-shirt she was wearing. She questioned if Kasey even realised how badly injured she was, but perhaps the shirt being dark has hidden the truth from her and she was just now running on pure adrenaline. But Kasey knew, she knew how badly hurt she was, but she wasn’t going to let herself get looked at until she knew those people were safe, that they were alright.

Kasey takes a nervous step back at the look of worry the woman gave her.

“Ma’am you need to see–”

“Are they here?” Kasey stuttered out, hand moving to clutch her side as she felt a sudden rush of pain run through her as she impatiently waited for the woman to skim through the pages of her clipboard.

She shakes her head. “You may wanna check over there at the black tent.”

Kasey’s eyes shifts to look over the woman’s shoulder, gulping nervously.

“But we need to check you–”

“Isn’t that the–”

“The morgue.” Kasey’s unfinished question echoes through her ears, through her mind, through her heart for a little too long. She feels a sudden shakiness in her hand, and her legs began to feel weak, and Kasey thinks her vision is going, but none of that mattered, not with the haunting hum that runs through her body; her soul.

Kasey felt like she was drowning again, felt like she was wrapped in the currents once again. Her breathing halted and her throat twisted and squeezed every word she thought of.

Her stomach turned at the thought.

She gags at the sight of it, at the word of it, and at the thought of it.

Morgue.

Just that word made her feel like she was under again, that the bile in her mouth was the salt water that tried to suffocate her, and death still lingered at the back of her mind as she passed the woman, ignoring her calls for someone to come and help the injured woman.

Kasey paused a few meters away from the black tent.

She failed them.

She’s the reason that they could possibly be–

Kasey couldn’t save them.

With her blood-stained hands, she clasps them together and presses against her stomach where she’s sure her heart has fallen into.

It’s impossible. They couldn’t be dead – not her brother, her best friend, and not her–

She wasn’t there, she should’ve been there, she shouldn’t have left them, she should stayed.

She should’ve stayed.

She should’ve stayed.

She takes a step forward. And another. And another. She thinks she’s thirteen and half steps away from the tent before her feet stop moving, She just stands there staring at it.

“Kasey?” A voice pulls her out, and tiredly she turns to the call, “Kasey!” It was no longer a questioning tone, it was more a tone of worry, and her eyes were fluttering shut but the feeling of cold hands on her cheeks awoke her and she was now welcomed by the eyes of someone she’s known from childhood – TK. TK is here, TK’s alive and – oh, she looks over her shoulder to see her team staring at her worriedly as they stand around a tired-looking Buck with cuts across his face and is his hand bleeding? But Buck is alive too and–

“Chris? Where is he? I lost you – I wasn’t good–” Eddie feels Chris push him away slightly from the hold he was in before turning around and stumbling his way towards Kasey who rushes forwards, kneeling on the ground just to hold him.

She ignored all the pain that came with the movements.

“I’m sorry – I’m so sorry – I shouldn’t have left you – I should have been there – I should have been – I’m not going again, I’ll–” She stops when she fells Christopher hold onto her even tighter, it wasn’t like the time before when she was holding him as they walked through the water, he didn’t hold her like was scared she would disappear, he held her in the way one would hold a loved one once they returned home safe. Chris tucks his face more into the crook of Kasey’s neck and mumbles out a tired but relieved, “you’re okay.” And maybe the hug was painful, but it was worth it, it was worth it cause she has her little Diaz in her arms again and her lips pressed against his cheek, giving it a feather light kiss like a way a mother would kiss their child in comfort after they had a nightmare. “I’m so sorry,” she murmurs, voice hitching around the lump in her throat. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t find you, kiddo.”

Kasey remains kneeling on the concreate as she tucks a cold and damp Christopher closer to her chest. She rests her forehead against his cheek as she just breaths in the smell of the salt water that lingers on the curls of his hair. “I’m sorry – I’m so sorry – I didn’t – I–” Her voice shakes in distraught, but she is interrupted by Christopher little voice.

“You’re okay now kid, we’ve got you.” He mimics a phase he often hears around, and Kasey indeed felt like she will be okay as she holds him in her arms.

She holds him a little longer before she ushers him to go hold Buck for a bit more as she notices Eddie standing near, face unreadable as he stares at the pair. TK was now perched on a rock as he finally caught his breath, asking Bobby if he could borrow his phone to ring his dad.

Christopher moves towards Buck and Kasey moves to stand, grimacing slightly as she did so.

“Eds–” But the look on Eddie’s face cuts her off as he shakes his head before he gently pulls her in closer by her right wrist. His eyes searches her up and down, lingering slightly longer on her stomach. “I’m fine,” she utters, and Eddie doesn’t believe it, but he just wants to feel her, touch her, just do something to rest his racing mind and make himself believe that she is real, that she is alive.

He thought he lost both her and his son tonight, and he just finished holding his son and now he’s got to hold Kasey whilst Buck now holds Christopher to assure his mind that they’re fine – that they will be okay eventually.

But Kasey didn’t return for nearly fifteen minutes after TK and Chris, and as the time ticked the more his mind tried to convince him that Kasey truly was dead.

But she wasn’t, she was standing in front of him and all he wants to do is hold her and never let het go. All he wants to do is take both her and Christopher home and watch some stupid show on the TV as he just holds his son and best friend…

And now Eddie’s hand slides up the back of Kasey’s neck, her damp, knotted hair falling over it as his thumbs strokes the base of her head softly.

Kasey was here, Kasey was fine, and she was real.

His family was okay and now the one who held his heart in her palms was right in front of him, and without a thought crossing his mind his forehead rests against hers and their eyes fall shut as they embraced this, and now she was being pulled into his chest and her arms were wrapping round him, and oh god was Kasey happy that something other than the ocean was gripping her, holding her – protecting her.

Kasey didn’t think much of it either as his lips brushed the top of her head.

Her rocks them side-to-side and he feels a smaller body wrapping round his waist before he ushers the two of them to kneel to the ground, then he pulls Christopher into their hug. And for a small moment, they seemed like a family who just been caught in a natural disaster, that he was the relief husband that his wife and son has returned back to him, and sometimes that’s what it felt like, and right now it did feel like it, despite the natural disaster, Eddie couldn’t help but think about it.

His fingers grip onto them for dear life and he’s now mumbling that their okay, that he’s got them now, and they will be okay.

Buck was back on the phone (Athena’s phone) with Maddie whilst Hen and Chimney ushered him and TK (TK now finally getting ahold of Owen) into a tent to get checked out, Buck questioned about Kasey and Christopher and they insist that they’ll be okay, that Eddie’s got them now, and they will be just fine.

Kasey was sobbing now, she tried to hold it back, but feeling the safety around her she began to sob, and she knew Christopher was crying too as she felt his body shake in her arm and Eddie was certain he had tears quietly running down his own cheeks, but he didn’t bring much notice to it as he took care of the two in his arms.

Eddie doesn’t think he’s ever felt this stress, not till he experienced the last seventeen minutes where he found a badly-looking Buck with his son’s glasses telling him that he lost Christopher, to Christopher returning in the arms of TK Strand, only to face TK’s panic as he begs Eddie to tell him that Kasey was here and that she was okay, to him saying he hasn’t seen her, to thinking she was dead, until now holding her and Christopher in his arms as he thanks the universe for returning them all back alive.

Bobby takes a step forwards with a doctor next to him along with the worried woman in scrubs who Kasey met first. He clears his throat, hating to break it all up, but it only just came to his attention of how hurt Kasey seemed, and she needs to urgently be looked at.

“Eddie,” his voice is quiet to not alarm anyone, “Eddie, we’ve got to check them out, please.”

Eddie nods as he slowly lets them go. He raises to his feet and picks Christopher up with one arm. Christopher’s shattered body wrapped round Eddie’s left side, his head resting against his shoulder whilst Eddie moved to stand on one of Kasey’s side whilst Bobby came to assist the other side, they both caught her as she stumbled to stand, the pain overtaking her once again, and her mind finally was catching up with the wounds across her body.

“Can you stand?” Eddie asked.

Kasey nodded shakily, trying to pull herself up onto her feet. Just as soon as she managed to get upright, her knees buckled.

Eddie and Bobby catches her before she fell back to the ground, helping Kasey to stand back up. “S-sorry,” she stutters “I-I-I–”

“It’s okay, we’ve got you.”

When they entered the medical tent, Eddie insisted to be the one to look after Kasey whilst Buck took Christopher after whining softly that he needs to hold the kid again, and Eddie allowed him too, knowing he’ll be safe as Buck holds him whilst Chimney moves to check Christopher over.

Kasey unconsciously rested her head against the top of his as he kneeled slightly in front of her to gain access to her abdominal area. Her shirt was pushed up whilst Eddie gently disinfected the area, the wounds weren’t as bad as he thought they be, the bleeding had came to a stop a while ago he believes, and it was a good sign to see that she wouldn’t be needing any stitches either.

Eddie’s finger dances across the cleaned, and freshly bandaged wounds, his finger pauses at a scar just above the beginning of the white bandage, and he ponders over it, but he says nothing of it when Bobby taps his shoulder, presenting a clean shirt that he must have found.

“We’ll have fresher clothes at mine for her to get into after she showers.” Bobby smiles softly and Eddie responds with his own small smile as he nods, but as he turns to face Kasey again his smile faltered slightly as reality struck him with the fact that Kasey wouldn’t be coming home with him and Christopher.

For most of time, Christopher stuck with either Buck or TK, only coming over when he see’s Kasey slightly more awake than before, drinking some water as she winces every now and then as Eddie daps a cloth around her face to clean the cuts there. He listens to his father quietly apologise to her, and he watches as Kasey shakes her head at it every time.

Chris brings himself closer to them, he was in different clothes now from the box Bobby searched through, and so was Buck and TK, all their old stuffs were stuffed in one pile by Athena as she spoke quietly with Bobby of how she is becoming a pro at washing due to the amount of blood and dirt she has taken out of clothes that belonged to him or their two older kids that go by the name of Buck and Kasey, and a few more clothes won’t be a hassle either, she’s just glad that they’re all okay.

His head falls onto his dad’s shoulder as he looks up at Kasey with a smile.

“Hey my little lion,” Kasey teased, hand reaching out to run through his curls as she eyes his scrunched up hand, “you doing okay, kiddo?” He nods before holding his hand out to her, presenting her with a collection of plasters with a small frown.

“They didn’t have any Spider-Man ones,” Kasey gently takes the plasters out from his hands as she looks at them. “Only Scooby Doo ones.”

Kasey gasps in small excitement, “well that’s good!” She says with a grin, but Eddie could see the tiredness behind it. “I love Scooby Doo!”

“Me too,” Christopher states with a bubble of laughter.

“Would you like to put the plasters on Kasey?” Eddie questioned as he took in the sight of the two, coming to a quick understanding that they must have talked about plasters when they found one another. Christopher nods and Eddie stands himself up better before bending down to pick his son up and places him down next to Kasey on the hospital bed.

Kasey turns her head to face Christopher, hand palm-up with the plasters laying in them for him to take, and he does so very gently as he rips the white pieces off from them before placing them gently over Kasey’s face to hide the cuts.

“Perhaps you’ll become Doctor Diaz in the future,” Kasey mutters as she studies his movements. “Think I’ll be least afraid of hospitals if I knew I’ve got the best and bravest doctor ever!”

As Bobby had same final words with the doctor, he brings himself towards the trio after confirming that Doctor Diaz has finished with placing Scooby Doo plasters on his patient’s face to tell them it be best if they all go home and clean themselves up and to rest.

(There was even a soft mention that Bear is at home waiting on her return).

The group that become bigger without Eddie and Kasey’s realisation ushered their last goodbyes, making sure everyone will be alright for the night, Karen kisses them all on the cheek, wishing them a better and restful evening, she gave Kasey a teasing squeeze on her cheeks before patting it softly, then when she came to Eddie she gives him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, but as she leaves she gives his bicep a soft squeeze as she throws him a comforting and knowing look and he watches as her eyes shift to Kasey who has now began to pull herself off the bed.

Eddie quickly comes to her aid, helping her to slide off the medical bed much easier and she thanks him, and then she tells the Diaz’s boys how they’re the best doctors she has ever had, and that she’s feeling much better now. Eddie knew she wasn’t, but he also knew that comment was more aimed at his son than to him. Kasey gives another long-lasting hug to Christopher, telling him that she will try and see him the next day and she lays a kiss to his cheek and says that if he or his dad needs anything then give her a ring and she will come.

Eddie shakes his head as he stands behind the pair, a smile tugging at his lips as he watches them, and Christopher even leans up to kiss the bandage across her nose as he wishes her a goodnight before making his way to Buck and TK who were both whining next to Vanessa and Kit (who Kasey didn’t even notice turning up) as they begged to hold Christopher again.

Kasey moves to stand with Eddie’s help and Kasey says nothing as she wraps her arms round his waist, tucking her face into his chest as she just closes her eyes. “You should go,” her voice was raspy now but Eddie found it kinda cute if he forgot the reasoning behind it. “You should go and get yourself and Chris home.”

Eddie knows he should but he also wishes Kasey was coming with them, wishing she was coming home with them to clean up and rest there, and they would turn on some shitty show as they lay on the couch to watch it, all nibbling on something easy to fill their stomachs and Chris would fall asleep first, his eyes falling shut then Eddie would feel a heavy weight on his left shoulder. He then would promise Kasey that he’ll be back as he takes Christopher to bed, tucking him in and leaving the night-light on in his bedroom before he makes his way back to Kasey, who was watching them before but now her eyes were closed and Eddie would smile softly at the sight of her, watching as she finally gains some sleep before he tucks his arms under her body and lifts her up and–

Kasey was now leaving the embrace and gives him a small smile before she makes her way to Athena who wraps her up tightly whilst whispering words of how good a nice warm shower will be for her and TK and that the heating will be on, and she is sure that hot chocolate will be made tonight too.

And then everyone was leaving, out of the medical tents and Chris was situated on Eddie’s hip once Buck and TK finally let him go, Kit and Chimney were up front, helping Buck walk with Maddie following closely behind, then there was Hen and Karen, and then Bobby (who was carrying the dirty clothes) and Vanessa with Athena and Kasey behind, her arm was wrapped motherly round her waist as she began to question Kasey that all of her weight better be on her (Athena) and she better not be taking any of it, but Kasey wasn’t listening much as her head turns to look over her shoulder at the two Diaz’s and all she does was smile at them.

              ❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

Eddie pushes himself off the sofa as he watches some shitty show on the television, Christopher was in bed now after having a quick bath and eating something before being tackled in hugs and comforting words from his father. Eddie wasn’t expecting anything else for the evening, especially not a knock at his door at this time of night or even from what has happened all day.

And he sure wasn’t expecting to see a clean but still tired Kasey (still covered in her bandages, but they were changed to plain brown ones after her shower, at Athena’s recommendation) at his door. He looks out at the road to see headlights on, and they gave him a quick blink and he was quick to recognise it being Bobby. He then watches the car drive off before his eyes move back to the women in front of him, who gives him a small, nervous, smile.

“Can I stay here for tonight, please,” her voice was still slightly scratchy, and she swing her arms at her sides as she gazes at Eddie and all he could do was nod as he holds back his smile from growing anymore at the realisation of why she was here.

No wonder Bobby drove off without Eddie giving an answer as he knew he would say yes to Kasey. Eddie even wondered if Bobby knew how much both Christopher and Eddie wished for her to come home with them.

“Yeah – yeah, of course,” he says and at his words Kasey falls forwards, falling into his open arms that were quick to catch her. Her forehead rests against his shoulder and she rounds her tired arms around his waist whilst he brings her into a tighter embrace.

In his hold, Kasey felt saved.

They stay standing in the doorway, still embracing one another, and Eddie wondered how long they be there for, but he didn’t really mind, not as long as he had her in his arms. It was silent between the pair; well it was until Kasey spoke up again with a question Eddie was truly not expecting tonight.

“Can I get Chris’ name tattooed on me?” Kasey pulls back slightly to look at Eddie’s face, but all she saw was his knitted brows and eyes that burnt with confusion. “I know it’s crazy – we have no relation – like he isn’t even mine or he, well, he isn’t mine anything. But he was so brave Eddie, and I want to carry some of his bravery around – it–it doesn’t make any sense, forget it.” She takes a quick pause. “But he means the world to me Eddie, really, you’ve got the best kid ever, you know? And I just want to honour him more, and just carry something of him around with me everywhere I go so when I do get scared, I’ll know that Chris would want me to be brave and …I just – I care a lot about your son, and you, my god, you two mean absolutely everything to me, I don’t think you understand how important the pair of you are to me and–”

She stops with the feeling of his lips touching the top of her head.

She blinks.

“I think,” he begins as he gazes at her, eyes full of softness, “I think Christopher would really like that,” the corner of his lip tugs up even more now, “I really like the idea too. It’s sweet.”

“Really?” Kasey scrunches her nose slightly, the plaster crumpling up as she does so. “You can say no if you want.”

Eddie shakes his head. “You can get his name tattooed, I don’t mind, but thank you for asking me though.”

Kasey blinks again cause why wouldn’t she ask for his permission? “Yeah – yeah, er, always…”

“When do you want to get it done?” He questions next as they still stood in his doorway.

“Tomorrow,” she instantly says. “I’m going to get TK’s name tattooed on me too, already asked for his permission,” she ranted slightly, “do you want to come with?” Then there was a moment of silence before she shakes her head. “Wait, no, you’ll be busy, it was stupid to ask, you will probably be working or with Chris and–”

His hand finds her, intertwining their fingers together as he offers her a soft squeeze. “I don’t have a shift tomorrow,” he states once he notices that his action has stopped her panicking rant, her eyes moves to look down at their joint up hands. “Chris will be at his Abuela’s, so I’ll come with you.”

And then he leans forwards, lays another kiss on her forehead, but his lips linger by her skin, and she swears she feels him smiling when she squeezes his hand in return.

               ❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

A/N: Kit Prescott has been changed to Reiky De Valk A/N.2: Taglist found in reblog!

[melancholyghoul]

NEW FIC !!!

Finished the first chapter of that 4alarmfire fic I wanted to start, bit of a shorter one, but you gotta start somewhere !!

Summary below the cut \/

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV), 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz/Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/TK Strand, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Carlos Reyes/TK Strand Characters: TK Strand, Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star), Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Additional Tags: Polyamory, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Bottom TK Strand, Top Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star), Hand Jobs, Dirty Talk, Sexual Fantasy, Blow Jobs, Crushes, Come Eating, Come Swallowing, Light Dom/sub, Sub TK Strand, Dom Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star), Gentle Dom Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star), Soft TK Strand, 4alarmfire, there's like a teeny bit of plot, but not really, Established Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Pre-Relationship Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence Summary:

'That firefighter you met during the wildfires?' He asked, 'You sure do speak to him a lot, mi vida.'

'No I don't!' He scoffed light-heartedly, 'I speak to him a totally normal amount.'

Carlos smiled, 'Even if you did, you light up whenever you do. You get that twinkle in your eye, redness in your cheeks...' He looked at him with insistence, all he got in response was a confused look, 'you like him Tyler.'

TK sat up straight and swallowed a lump in his throat, is that what this was? The jokes and the late night conversations? Oh my God... they were flirting, 'I-I love you, Carlos.' He stated, Carlos just laughed.

'I didn't say you didn't.'

------------- or -------------

Buck, Carlos, Eddie and TK each figure out what [and who] really make them happy.

[snowviolettwhite]

🧸🧸🧸

little boy don't you cry, cause the child in you is still alive - 911: Lone Star Early 2010s FanFiction AU (Chapter 12 Snippet) For Make Me Write & Fuck It Friday

Sorry it is late and trying to get back into writting

Meanwhile, outside in the hallway.

“Owen, what happen? Why is our kid in the hospital?”

“A teacher found him trying to start a fight with an older boy, he was yelling at and shoving him. He ran off before she could stop him.”

“Owen, I spoke with the school too. I already know all of that. How did find him and why does it look like he has been crying?”

He does not know how to break this to his ex-wife and the mother of his child. “All I know is what the school told me, but I found him in an abandoned building. All his stuff was scattered around. There was a bottle of oxy an- and he was practically gone. He had overdosed. I had to give him compression and Narcan. He came back to us throwing up and was crying non-stop. He clung onto me and couldn’t feel his legs, I had to carry him on the ambulance. I managed to get him calm, but he still hasn’t told me what happen.”

Gwyn, heartbroken and shocked “Owen, he overdosed on drugs Oxycodone. Where would he even get his hands on that?  When I learn who gave him those drugs they are going to pay? That older must have been bullying him or something. It could have triggered this whole reaction. When I find that drug dealer and whoever was causing him pain, they are in for it. Tk is going to grounded for a long time. He was going through this all alone and we didn’t notice at all. Oh, our sweet boy.

---

Tagging But No Pressure:

@anewkindofme @missmagooglie @the-flaming-nightmare @aroeddiediaz @tommykinard6 @warpedpuppeteer @lochnesswriter @babygirl-diaz @laneybishop89

[1-800-ur-cyber-slxtt]

*.✧ 𝟗-𝟏-𝟏 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐏𝐀𝐃 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 ✧.*

Glad to announce that I have finally reuploaded my 9-1-1/Lonestar Imagine and Smut book to Wattpad!

You can find more info about it in the actual book (linked below) but pretty much my original book was deleted by Wattpad in Feb of this year along with my obx book. As a result I lost all of my work except for the few stories I had uploaded on Ao3.

Basically the new book will have all my stories from Ao3 in it along with the new ones that I upload here. (I'll still be uploading on Ao3 too.)

Check the book for info on requesting, I will be making another post here about what fandoms I write for and about requests, shortly.

Any love and support is greatly appreciated! ✧.*

Links below <3

✧.* p.s feel free to leave questions below if needed x

✧.* 𝒃𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒌: here

✧.*𝒘𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒑𝒂𝒅: @1-800-UR-CYBER-SLXTT

✧.*𝒂𝒐𝟑: @1800URCYBERSLXTT

dividers by @v6que

[writingamarie]

9-1-1 fandom: in lieu of a WIP Wednesday, i'll do this instead.

for every emoji i receive i’ll write 3 sentences for the story (and post a snippet of what i have so far)

🌊 the only easy day (3 part buddie. angst. hurt. hea)

🐝 the pull of us (post lawsuit, buck backstory divergence, buddie, tarlos, buck/tk)

🌩️ echoes of the storm (buddie hunger games au)

🤠 doesn’t change a thing (eddie backstory, post season 7, pre-buddie)

⛪️ best kept secret (catholic school au buddie, not hea)

🫧 ruined (post lawsuit, dark, dead dove, why did i use buck to work through trauma?)

i know no one in this fandom so this is pointless haha

[do-androids-dream-ao3acc]

Thanks a lot for tagging me, @typicalopposite, I'm dying to show something of my upcoming Tarlos fic (and if there's anybody out there who might be interested in a Lone Star AU according to this idea I had a couple of days ago, please let me know, I'll tag you!).

Here we go, something from chapter 2 (right now, I'm almost 10,000 words and 6 chapters in):

Gabriel was buried in Austin Memorial Park, where he was in illustrious company, including Frank Hamer, the Texas Ranger who hunted down Bonnie and Clyde. Carlos didn’t believe that his father had achieved anything similar, despite all his merits. He had not been a celebrity, not an extraordinary man. Not even an exceptional father. Nevertheless, without his mother having to ask him, he had filled in the application to have his father's grave adorned with the Texas Rangers Memorial Cross. 

Carlos had thrown himself into the preparations for the funeral like TK had done for their wedding: with a plan, a lot of perseverance and an almost manic precision. The funeral needed to be perfect, and he was obsessed with the idea that this would give him a chance to get to know his father better. He was the one to sort photos for the obituary, who drew up the guest list for the funeral service and selected the silk for the coffin lining. He permitted his mother to choose the flowers because it meant a lot to her, but he didn't allow anyone else to help. 

TK, who knew a thing or two about grief and how everyone experienced it differently, orbited him like a cautious satellite. Carlos was grateful that he held back, because if he hadn't... If he’d bridged the gap that Gabriel Reyes’ death had created between them, with just one word, Carlos would have collapsed. He felt TK's concern and love, but he kept himself on the edge of that affection so as not to be swallowed up by it. 

Despite everything, he felt numb as he stood at the grave, pouring a shovelful of soil six feet under. None of this brought him closer to his father, neither the eulogy nor the tributes from his superiors, and certainly not the many hands Carlos shook from people who told him what a good man Gabriel had been. In the church, he asked TK if that was true. 

“Was he a good person?”

TK squeezed his hand, whispering,  “He was, Carlos. A good man who raised a fantastic son. You have reason to be proud of him."  

He probably had, but the question was whether Gabriel had ever been proud of him. His father had only told him once, just before the wedding, when Carlos had been too nervous to put on his bow tie. Then he had held Carlos's hands in his own, looked at him and said, “You've become a great young man, Carlos. I'm proud of you.” 

[cyberasta23]

The Unlawful Cover art

[callsign-dexter]

A Forever Home Masterlist

Summary: 1 year before the accident that took out Judd Ryder's old team, a baby was left at the front of the firehouse. She wouldn't settle for anyone except Judd, not wanting her to go up in the system Judd talks to Grace and they decide to adopt the baby. They named her Y/N Evelyn Ryder, you.

Pairings: Grace Ryder x Daughter!Reader, Judd Ryder x Daughter!Reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, inaccurate firefighter talk

Masterlist

A/N: Can be read alone or in order. More stories will be added to it. Ages range.

A Forever Home

Life on the Line

Search and Rescue

Barn Fire

Daddy Taught Me

Rodeo Accident

I Don't Like Him

Trip to the Hospital

Rescue Mission

[captain-gillian]

if there are tears to weep

3,330 words. rated t. summary: TK and Carlos attempt to find solace in the aftermath of 4.04.

As soon as the ambulance doors close, Carlos softens his posture and allows himself to sink into the stretcher bed he’d insisted wasn’t necessary only moments earlier. As the paramedic buzzes around Carlos taking vitals, placing an oxygen mask over his mouth and starting a line to run fluids, TK adjusts his grip on his hand, squeezing it reassuringly. 

They have so much to talk about, but for now, all TK wants to do is wrap his hand around Carlos’, holding on tightly—if it were up to him, he’d never let go again.

Carlos pushes the oxygen mask off his face to talk, “I didn’t think,” he pauses, his breath hitching and tears flowing, “I was ever going to see you again.”

TK reaches out and gently replaces the mask, brushes a blood-stained curl off his forehead, kissing him gently, “Shh. Breathe, just breathe. You’re safe now, baby. You’re safe now. ”

When they arrive at the hospital, one of the paramedics turns to TK, looking at him with a sympathetic expression he’s all too familiar with. This is the ‘family has to wait in the waiting room, no exceptions’ conversation he has with his own patient’s loved ones every shift. 

“This is as far as you can come. I’m sorry, man. Someone will come to update you as soon as they can.” 

And then they wheel Carlos through the double doors, and he’s alone. His hand feels strangely empty as he stumbles to the waiting room where Andrea, Gabriel and the 126 are waiting; everyone is there. Everyone except the one person he needs right now. Everyone except his dad. 

keep reading on ao3 or under the cut

Gabriel holds his wife close in a set of chairs across the room, she’s clutching her rosary close to her chest and praying quietly, and TK knows if they were to see him or he was to go over there, Andrea would be on her feet with her arms open to embrace him. But as Gabriel said earlier, he’s not the only one who loves Carlos; they’re hurting too, so he sinks into an empty chair around the corner, alone.

But he’s not alone for long. Soon Nancy takes a seat on his right, taking his hand, “Whatever happens, dude, we’re here.”

And Captain Vega sits down on his left,  “Whatever you need, we’re here.”

Paul, Marjan, Mateo, Judd and Grace sit opposite him, offering to get him food, tea, coffee, a change of clothes, or anything else he might need.

As supported as he feels, he can’t help but feel something—someone—is missing.

“Can someone find my dad? He’s not answering calls, his voicemail is full, and he’s not here.” He asks.

Judd stands up and takes out his phone, “I think I have an idea where he might be. Hang in there, kid.” 

“Do you need anything else?” Paul asks, and TK nods. 

“Could somebody go by the apartment and get us some clothes, toothbrushes, that sort of thing, please?” 

He sinks into the chair while his friends—his family—buzz around him, offering support in every way they know how, though there’s nothing they can do. He feels a pit in his stomach, every worst-case scenario runs through his brain at a million miles an hour and being a paramedic, he has so many more worse-case scenarios to ponder than the average person. 

Worse still, he can’t help but wonder how it felt for Carlos every time he’s been in the hospital. He starts to think of how alone Carlos must have felt when Nancy called him to the hospital while they were broken up, but before he can dwell on it further, the doctor comes out with an update. 

The 126 and Andrea and Gabriel gather around with him to hear the update, with Nancy and Paul on either side of him, holding his hands, and he suspects, ready to catch him if the news is bad and his knees give out. But the doctor has good news, well, as good as the news can be given the circumstances. 

She runs through a list of injuries Carlos has sustained, including cracked ribs and an intracranial hemorrhage. But none of that matters when she says, “So far, he’s stable and being transferred to the neuro ward for monitoring. Would you like to see him? He’s been asking for his fiancé; that’s always a good sign.” 

TK follows Gabriel and Andrea to the ward. Gabriel wastes no time going to his son’s bedtime, but TK hesitates in the doorway, pressing his nails into his palms and anxiously bouncing from foot to foot. Noticing TK’s hesitation, Andrea hovers beside him.

The sight of his fiancé laying in that bed looking so small and vulnerable, hooked up to half a dozen machines and monitors and IV medications, with an oxygen cannula in his nose and a mess of blood still staining his hair, is enough to make TK’s stomach heave. He doesn’t want this to be their reality. He’s not used to being the one by the bedside rather than in the bed, and he’d trade places with his fiancé in a heartbeat.

“What can I do for you, mijo? I’m here.” Andrea says, turning to face him, forcing a smile across her tear-stained cheeks and squeezing his hand. He blinks away tears of his own, and his soon-to-be father-in-law’s words stick in his mind; ‘if there are tears to weep, we do it when the time comes, not before.’  

“It’s okay to cry, mijo.” She says, “It’s okay.” And that’s when he finally lets himself cry. The tears come slowly at first. His nose burns and a few tears roll down his cheeks, but then he starts to sob with his entire body as the weight of all that’s happened finally hits him. 

Andrea puts an arm around his shoulder and hands him a tissue from a pack in her purse, “Let it out; it’ll be okay; our boy is strong.”

“Thank you, Andrea.” 

“No, thanking me is not necessary,” She says, taking his hand and squeezing it reassuringly. “He’s lucky to have you, and we are too. Gabriel and I always wanted another son, and now we have one. We have you. You’re as much a part of this family as Carlitos is. Even if it won’t be official until you stand up at that altar in eight weeks and become a Reyes, you’re already one in my heart.”

“I am?”

“You have no idea how much you’ve changed my boy’s life, TK. He was a shell of the man you know now when you first met. You saved him. I won’t pretend we’ve been perfect parents; Gabriel and I have made mistakes, unforgivable mistakes, and I can never make up for the hurt I’ve caused him, but somehow you put him back together, and you brought us back together. I can’t ever thank you enough for that, mijo.”

“I don’t know what to say. I—I can’t let Carlos see me like this, not after everything…”

“Shh, you don’t need to say anything,” She says, dabbing at the tears on his cheek’s with a tissue and leading him to the small waiting area by the nurse's station and sitting before pulling a takeaway container and a fork from her tote bag, “Now, when was the last time you ate something?” 

TK reluctantly sits in the chair beside her, “Is this fried rice? From the place near the loft?” 

“Carlos said it was one of your favourites,” She replies with a motherly smile.

“When did you have time to stop for takeout?” 

“I didn’t. I asked Paul if he could pick it up as he was already going to the loft to get clothes; you need to eat, mijo.” She opens the lid and gently pushes the fork into TK’s hand.

TK pushes the food around the container with the fork absentmindedly, still too anxious to eat. “He was so mad at me,”

“Why would he be mad at you, TK?”

“I went to see Iris without him. I just wanted to show her I was enough for him so she could sign the papers, but then she went missing—again—and he was so mad that I’d gone to see her at all,”

“Oh mijo, I don’t think it was you he was mad at; not really. I think he was mad at himself and at the system for letting Iris down again. You can get past this; just talk to him, TK,” She assures him with a smile. “Are you ready to go see our boy?”

TK nods and follows her into the small hospital room, to Carlos’ side. Carlos is still partially sedated, and there are a couple of nurses in the room adjusting his medications and oxygen, but the energy changes when Carlos finally spots his fiancé.

“Hi baby,” He says with a sleepy smile as he reaches for TK, clutching his hand tightly and pulling him close, “I’m sorry. For everything, I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry too, Carlos.”

“You have nothing to apologise for, TK.”

“I do, but now isn’t the time.” TK sinks into the plastic chair at his fiancé’s bedside. “How are you feeling? Any pain? Can I get you anything? Ice chips? Juice? Tea? Jello? Do you need anything from the apartment? Or what abou—”

“Take a breath, TK. I have everything I need right here in my hand,” Carlos says, smiling down at their interlaced fingers and squeezing TK’s hand gently. “Everything I need but sleep. I know you all just got here, but I’m just so tired. Will you stay with me, TK? I don’t want to be alone.” 

“I’m not going anywhere. Get some rest. I love you.” TK says, stroking Carlos’ hand gently as his eyelids flutter shut.

“Love you,” Carlos mumbles sleepily.

Andrea presses a kiss to his forehead as she and Gabriel go to step out, “Sleep tight, mijo. We’ll be right out there when you wake up.”

Later, early in the evening, around 7 o’clock, the beep of an IV pump startles Carlos awake, but TK is already silencing the alarm and pressing the call bell for a nurse to come and fix it, all without loosening the vice-like grip he’s had on his fiancé’s hand every possible moment since he was found.

“You can go home; it’s okay,” Carlos whispers. His voice is hoarse, so at first, TK thinks he must have misheard. Carlos did not just tell him to go home, not after everything they’ve been through today. “I’m okay, TK. I’m okay . You can go home away from the beeping and the smell of sanitiser—” 

TK doesn’t mean for it to happen, but he’s been holding in so many emotions all day, and Carlos’ refusal to accept what’s happened is the final straw that breaks him. “God, Carlos, you’re not okay. None of this is okay. I’m not okay, and I know it’s selfish because you need me to be okay for you right now, but I’m not okay. I can’t be okay because you were dead, Carlos. Do you get that? You died in my arms, and I didn’t think I’d get you back, and I felt your ribs breaking under my hands while I was giving you CPR and I—“

“I’m sorry,” Carlos says sleepily, his brown eyes wide and brimming with tears as he looks up at TK.

“Why don’t you try and get some more sleep? We’ll talk more in the morning.” TK says, pressing a gentle kiss to Carlos’ cheek and adjusting the askew oxygen cannula on his face, carefully tucking it behind his ear. 

“M’kay,” Carlos mumbles as his eyelids flutter shut, and soon his face relaxes into the most peaceful expression as he drifts off to sleep. TK can’t help but close his own eyes, it’s only early in the evening, and he’s vaguely aware that Andrea, Gabriel, Paul, Marjan, Nancy and Mateo are still in the waiting room, but after the day that unfolded, TK is bone tired—so tired he doesn’t even care that he’s shivering cold and his stomach is growling. 

TK dreams of his mother wrapping him in a blanket and stroking his hair and is surprised to wake up a couple of hours later, carefully draped in his favourite throw blanket. Andrea smiles at him from across the bed, where she sits stroking Carlos’ hair.

“You’re awake, TK,” She says, speaking softly enough that Carlos doesn’t stir in his sleep. She produces a thermos from the giant tote bag at her feet, “How about some dinner?” 

“You brought dinner?” 

“It’s just soup; you have to eat something, mijo. Otherwise, you’ll end up in a hospital room of your own, and I think we can both agree you’ve spent enough time in these beds for a lifetime. And at my age, I’m too tired to be visiting both of my boys.”

She stands and brings the thermos over to TK with a spoon, “Thank you,” he says as he accepts the soup with one shaky hand while his other hand still wraps tightly over his fiancé’s. 

“This should warm you up,” Andrea says, resting a hand on his shoulder. 

“What time is it?” TK asks as he sips the warm soup.

She glances at her watch, “It’s ten-eighteen,” 

“You’re still here this late?” TK asks, surprised. He’s spent more time in the hospital than most over the years, and his father has never stayed so late—his mom, on the other hand, would have been by his side all hours if he’d allowed her to be, or more accurately if visiting hours had allowed her to be. All day he’s wanted nothing more than to call her and hear she’ll be on the next plane out to be there for him, but at least he has Andrea here with Carlos, and to his surprise, with him. 

It’s not like he hasn’t become close with Carlos’ parents—Andrea in particular over the past few months especially. TK’s been comfortable enough to pop around for lunch or afternoon tea with them when Carlos is on shift, or even just to bake with Andrea and hear stories about Carlos’s childhood and look at old photo albums with Gabriel, but for them to be more of a support system for him than his dad while dealing with their own fear and grief will always stay with him.

“My boys need me, so I am here,” She says simply as she adjusts the blanket around TK’s shoulders, “I will be here as long as you need me, mijo, either of you.”

“It means the world that you’re here. Thank you for all of this ,” TK motions to the soup and the blanket, “Thank you for caring.” 

“Always, TK. The mother in me can’t help but worry and fuss, but please tell me if I ever overstep, okay? I would never dream of replacing your mom or trying to take her place, but if you ever need me, I’m here,” 

In lieu of a response, TK reaches out to envelope her in a one-armed hug, and for a while, they sit in comfortable silence while TK finishes the soup.  And when Andrea can’t stop yawning in the chair across from him, TK turns to her, “Are you sure you don’t need to get home? Carlos assures me these chairs are terrible to sleep on. Not that I’m not grateful you’re here, but we shouldn’t both have a sleepless night. I’ll keep him safe until morning. Thank you again for everything.”

“Are you sure you’ll be alright? I’m only a phone call away, no matter what time it is, okay, mijo. Why don’t you let me sit with him for five minutes while you get a change of clothes and brush your teeth, and then I’ll head home.” 

The way she offers is so motherly, so TK relents and digs out a change of clothes—his comfiest sweatpants and one of Carlos’ t-shirts that’s perfectly oversized—from the duffle Paul brought over, along with a toiletries bag with his toothbrush.

When he returns from the tiny bathroom attached to Carlos’ room, Andrea kisses him on the forehead on her way out the door, “Goodnight, call me if you need absolutely anything, okay?”

“Goodnight,” TK says, settling back at Carlos’ bedside before deciding hospital air conditioning was much too cold for just a t-shirt and heading back to the duffle bag in search of a hoodie.

As TK unzips the duffle, he remembers something Paul said earlier when he dropped it off,  “I picked up a copy of The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe off the bookshelf, too. Carlos keeps his books so pristine, but this one has become pretty worn over the years, so clearly, it’s somebody’s favourite. I don’t know if it’s yours or Carlos’, but it’s the kind of book you need when things are like this.” 

TK finds a soft, well-worn, pink hoodie that’s always comforting to wear, pulls it on over his t-shirt, and then settles back in the chair at Carlos’ bedside with the book. 

There’s a bookplate inside the cover with ‘this book belongs to Carlos Reyes’ written in neat child’s handwriting with a marker. He runs his fingers over the words, trying to imagine how old Carlos was when he wrote them and remembering a photo atop the Reyes’ mantle of a mop of brown curls and reading glasses popping up over the top of this very same paperback when Carlos was maybe seven or eight years old. 

Carlos startles awake just after four am, shouting and flailing his arms against an invisible assailant. The fear in his widened eyes breaks TK’s heart as he rushes to his feet to comfort his fiancé.

“Carlos, you’re safe. It’s me. It’s TK. You’re safe. You’re safe with me, baby. Breathe. Just breathe.” 

“I thought I was back there—I thought he was—I'm sorry,” Carlos stutters, and TK can feel his pulse pounding in his wrist, but as Carlos reaches out and pulls him closer, pressing his face into his neck, the rapid heart rate normalises. “Hold me?” 

TK positions himself carefully on the edge of the narrow hospital bed beside Carlos, there isn’t really enough room, but he makes it work as best as he can. He reaches his arm around Carlos’s shoulders, gently pulling him close and feeling the tension melt away as he softens, leans in and rests his head against his chest. 

TK eyes the book on the chair beside him, remembering how Carlos would climb into bed and hold him close while reading him poetry while he recovered from hypothermia and how safe and comforting it felt, so he reaches for the book and opens it to the first chapter.

“Once there were four children whose names were Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy.”

“Is that my copy of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe ? Where did you get that?”

“Paul brought it. He stopped by the loft to pick up some clothes and toothbrushes and stuff for us and said it looked like one of our favourites,”

“Looked like?”

“Don’t ask me. I’m not the one with the Sherlockian powers of deduction,” TK responds with a shrug, “Was he right, though?”

“He was. I read this easily a dozen times as a kid. I loved the escapism of it. Looking back now, there’s a certain irony of a closeted kid finding solace in a book about a magical world in the back of a wardrobe,” He says with a small laugh, and it’s music to TK’s ears.

TK stays curled around Carlos reading aloud to him until the morning when the warmth of first light first breaks through the slated hospital blinds. As he reads, the beeping machines, IV lines, and the reality of the situation slip away, making room for magic, adventures and Narnia, even if only for a few hours. 

[the-flaming-nightmare]

Seven Sentence Sunday

Thank you once again for the tag, @anewkindofme! 🧡❤

I'm now working on Day 10 of Regressuary, so here's what I've written so far:

TK peered anxiously around the bright, colorful room. There were toys and other fun looking activities galore, Littles occupying every corner of the room, some playing together while others played on their own. Despite the exciting environment that would have normally been enough to pull him away from his dad's side, it wasn't enough today.

The sudden noise and movement of two Littles squealing as one ran after the other right past them, had TK tightening his grip on Owen's hand and pressing himself closer to the man.

"Hey, it's okay, baby." Owen gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. "I know it's a little overwhelming, but you're going to have so much fun!"

TK made a noncommittal sound in the back of his throat. "Do I gotta stay, dada?" He turned his head and looked at the man with a pleading expression.

Owen smiled apologetically. "I'm afraid you do, champ."

"Can't go t'work with you?"

"No, honey, you can't. I'm sorry. But you'll only have to stay for a couple of hours. Just until Tommy can come get you, okay?"

"But tha's so fars away!" TK whined, tears filling his eyes and throat growing tight.

"Oh, baby bear. C'mere." The Caregiver pulled the boy into his arms. TK immediately burrowed his face into the man's shoulder, hands coming up to clutch at the back of his work shirt. "I know this place isn't the exact same as your old daycare, but I bet if you give it a chance you'll see that it's just as good as the last."

While this wasn't TK's first time attending daycare, it was the first time he was attending a new one since they left New York. He'd been going to his old daycare since he had been classified at seventeen, so it was understandable why he was feeling so anxious.

TK sniffles, a few tears managing to slip free and soak into the blue fabric of his dad's shirt. "Wha' if..." he trailed off, the tightness in his throat becoming almost suffocating and preventing him from speaking anymore.

"What if what, bud?" Owen gently coaxed, rubbing circles into the middle of TK's back.

The Little swallowed hard and took a few shaky breaths before he finally felt able to speak again.

"Wha' if n'body wants t'be my f'end, dada?"

"Baby bear, that's something you never have to worry about." Owen quietly chuckled. "You are the kind of person everyone wants to be friends with.

"Sure?"

"Of course I am! I bet almost the entire daycare will want to be your friend by the end of the day."

Despite the worries and fear that still wanted to flood his veins, the corners of TK's lips curled up into a small smile, and the grip he had on the Caregiver began to gradually loosen.

"You're gonna be okay, honeybun."

Owen gave the Little's back a comforting pat, before gently pulling out of the embrace and cupping TK's face in his hands, wiping the leftover tears from his cheeks.

"Feeling any better now, champ?"

TK shrugged, leaning into Owen's touch. "Guess a lil'."

"Would you like dada to try and help you find a quiet spot for you to stay at until you feel ready to play with the others?"

TK sucked his bottom lip between his teeth as he thought it over.

"Ah-ah, no biting on your lip, baby bear," Owen gently chided, pulling the little boy's lip free. He slipped the blue pacifier that hung from the clip connected to the Little's sweatshirt into his mouth. "That's what this is for."

Tagging (if you wanna): @angelique-of-the-volturi-guard and @thegoeticcleric

[miloscozycorner]

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🜚 updated nov. 11

[ver-subtitulos-de-series]

911 Lone Star Temporada 5 Capitulo 1 Episodio Completo en Español