#85 or 89 pulls

[shadowingfas]

85 pulls

I have pulled 85 times since getting aventurine, maybe more and nothing....

no 5 star

no robin

no topaz

nothing.

[scene-pup]

100 AgeRe Questions

Credit: pickledratinajar

1🐝 What Age(s) Do You Regress To ~

2🍯 Do You Pet Regress As Well / What Animal ~

3🥮 How Long Have You Been Regressing ~

4🐌 Is Your Regression Voluntary, Involuntary, Or A Mixture ~

5🐻 What's Your Personality Like When Regressed ~

6🐴 How Often Do You Regress ~

7☕ What Helps You Get Into Headspace ~

8📜 Are You A Baby, Toddler, Or Big Kid Regressor ~

9🦇 Do Your Likes Change When Regressed ~

10⏳ Do You Have A Baby Voice In Headspace ~

11🍪 What Makes You Instantly Small ~

12🧋Why Do You Regress ~

13🌙 Pink Or Blue ~

14⭐ Dragons, Unicorns Or Fairies ~

15☁️ Dinos, Princesses, Space Or Safari Theme ~

16💫 Neon, Pastel, Neutral Or Dark Pallets ~

17🐮 Favorite Regression Clothes ~

18🌸 Favorite Color ~

19🐭 Do You Collect Stickers ~

20🧁 Coloring Book Or Paint By Numbers ~

21🍧 Playdoh, Legos Or Slime ~

22🦄 Finger Paint Or Brushes ~

23🧼 Crayons, Colored Pencils Or Markers ~

24☀️ Do You Have A CG / Name For CG ~

25🌻 Do You Have A Baby Sitter ~

26✨ Do You Have Any Sibbies ~

27🧺 Do Your Parents Know About Your Regression ~

28🧋 Favorite Nicknames / Pet Names ~

29🍕 Ideal Playdate ~

30🐱 Sleep In Crib Or With CG ~

31🍼 Favorite Snack ~

32🧸 Favorite Juice ~

33🍪 Favorite Icecream Flavor ~

34🩹 Favorite Type Of Milk ~

35🐶 Sweet, Sour, Spicy, Bitter Or Savory ~

36🍰 Favorite Dessert ~

37🍦 Favorite Type Of Chocolate ~

38⏳ Mac & Cheese Or Nuggets ~

39🎒 Favorite Movie ~

40🍬 Favorite Cartoon ~

41🚀 Favorite Game ~

42🎀 Favorite Disney Princess ~

43⚾ If You Could Have Any 1 Superpower What Would It Be ~

44🍄 Anime Or Cartoons ~

45🍓 Favorite Carebear ~

46✏️ Shows Or Movies ~

47🐛 Do You Believe In Fairies ~

48🐸 Do You Have A Comfort Character ~

49🌱 Do You Like Rain At Night ~

50🦕 Are You Easily Scared ~

51🧃 Are You Also A Carer ~

52🌵 Are You Independent Or Dependent ~

53🍃 What Pulls You Out Of Headspace ~

54🍏 Are You Scared Of Bugs ~

55🦝 Favorite Toy Series ~

56🚛 Do You Use Pacis ~

57🦴 Do You Use Diaps ~

58🦈 Gear Wishlist ~

59🍵 Favorite Regression Item ~

60🐾 Sippy Cup Or Bottle ~

61🦊 Oldest Stuffie ~

62🎃 Do You Sleep With A Stuffie ~

63🔥 How Many Stuffies Do You Have ~

64🍂 Newest Favorite Stuffie ~

65🏵️ Build A Bear, Amusement Park, Or Disney Store ~

66🥧 Stuffed Animals Or Dolls ~

67👽 Do You Have A Bedtime ~ 

68🍭 Do You Keep An AgeRe Journal ~

69⚡️ Do You Have Rules ~

70🍥 Blankie Or Paci ~

71🌈 Night Light Or Glow-In-The-Dark Stars ~

72🌿 Bedtime Stories Or Lullabies ~

73🎩 Favorite Thing To Do Outside While Small ~

74🐵 Favorite Thing To Do Inside While Small ~

75🦋 Blanket Fort Or Bouncy House ~

76🐯 Stroller Or Walk ~

77🔮 Dress Up Or Tea Party ~

78🦜 Do You Like The Playground ~

79💖 Early Bird Or Night Owl ~

80📝 Indoors Or Outdoors ~

81💕 Warm Or Cold Weather ~

82🦢 Dogs Or Cats ~

83☎️ Do You Have Any Pets ~

84💌 Favorite Animal ~

85🍒 Favorite Holiday ~

86🐇 Favorite Season ~

87❤️ What’s Your Big Age ~

88🌼 What’s A Nostalgic Place For You ~

89🐳 Playdoh, Legos Or Slime ~

90🐙 Do You Collect Anything ~

91🐠 Bubble Baths Or Bath Toys ~

92🍑 Are Your Agere Interests More Fem Or Masc ~

93☔️ Do You Stim More While Regressed ~

94🎨 Favorite Place To Regress ~

95🧵 Favorite Regression Youtuber ~

96🌈 Favorite Site/App For Regression Community ~

97💐 What Do You Wanna Be When You Grow Up ~

98📒 What’s The Most Nostalgic Electronic For You ~

99📀 A Toy You Always Wanted But Never Got As A Kid ~

100🪐 What Is Your Favorite Thing To Learn About In Headspace ~

ASK ME! :D <3

[zeciex]

A Vow of Blood Season 1 Masterlist

Warnings: This fic includes noncon, dubcon, manipulation, violence and inc3st. Tags will be added as the fic goes on. This is a dark!fic. 18+ only. Read at your own discretion. Please read the warnings before continuing.

Updates every Friday: A work in progress

Chapter 1: A prophecy foretold Chapter 2: Fireflies and Funerals Chapter 3: A debt made Chapter 4: The Arrival Chapter 5: The girl who leaves, the Woman whom returns Chapter 6: The unholiness of burning Chapter 7: Gossip and Needlepoint Chapter 8: Schemes and Artisans Chapter 9: The Feast Chapter 10: Beware the Blood Red Roses Thorns

Chapter 11: Words of a Scandal Chapter 12: The Whore that Lies Chapter 13: On Your Knees Chapter 14: From the Shadows Chapter 15: White Poppies Chapter 16: The Tourney; The Joust Chapter 17: The Tourney; The Melee Chapter 18: Ruination Chapter 19: Tea & Charity

Chapter 20: Sympathies for Maegor the Cruel Chapter 21: Moon Flower Chapter 22: The Ugly Seat Chapter 23: A Woman's Shame Chapter 24: The Boy With the Stars Chapter 25: The Seafarer Chapter 26: Dragonstone Chapter 27: Betrothal Chapter 28: The Sting of Bitter Betrayal Chapter 29: Little Nightshade

Chapter 30: In That House On Top Of The Rock Chapter 31: The Stranger's Company Chapter 32: The Hunt Chapter 33: Brōzi, riña hen narys Chapter 34: There's no measure 'within reason' for women Chapter 35: Pulling the Strings Chapter 36: Boris Baratheon Chapter 37: The Image of a son Chapter 38: Wine and Company Chapter 39: Once in Ivory, to the sound of bells

Chapter 40: Trapped like a Fox Chapter 41: The illusion of choice Chapter 42: Two sinners can't atone from a lone prayer Chapter 43: The Depravity of Desire Chapter 44: Think of the Stars Chapter 45: Blood in the Water Chapter 46: The Boundaries of a Winged Pig Chapter 47: The Vigil of the Old Gods Chapter 48: The Stag that Rages Chapter 49: The Stag hunts the Stag

Chapter 50: The Performance of Grief Chapter 51: Once in front of the fire, two become one Chapter 52: The Funeral of Boris Baratheon Chapter 53: The Hunger of Man Chapter 54: The Funeral Procession Chapter 55: Keeping Alliances Chapter 56: Souls tied, intertwined by our pride and guilt Chapter 57: Wisps of Smoke Chapter 58: A Missive of Ravens Chapter 59: A Claim of Bastardry

Chapter 60: The Last Supper Chapter 61: The Taste of Silence Chapter 62: Waves Chapter 63: In the Eye of the Father Chapter 64: The End of a Noose Chapter 65: A Fool with a Fool's Honor Chapter 66: The Son of Duty Chapter 67: The Daughter of Insolence Chapter 68: The Tempest of a Woman Chapter 69: Birds in a Cage

Chapter 70: The Beast Beneath the Boards Chapter 71: The Tower of the Hand Chapter 72: Ill Tidings Chapter 73: A Woman's War Chapter 74: Salt and Smoke Chapter 75: A Golden Crown of Sorrow pt. 1 Chapter 76: A Golden Crown of Sorrow pt. 2 Chapter 77: Haunted By The Daylight Chapter 78: A Boy And His Dragon Chapter 79: Vengeance Hungers

Chapter 80: The Bloody Hand of Dread Chapter 81: The Fool That Loved You Chapter 82: The Coward's Heart Chapter 83: The Death of A Son Chapter 84: A Sister's Rage Chapter 85: The Red Dress Chapter 86: A Vow of Fire and Blood Chapter 87: The Sworn Shield or The Boy Chapter 88: Cursed Child Chapter 89: Byka Ābrazȳrys

Chapter 90: The Mother's Prayer Chapter 91: The Favor of the Smallfolk Chapter 92: A Mother's Search Chapter 93: Once in grief, heart of black but forced in green I Chapter 94: Once in grief, heart of black but forced in green II Chapter 95: Once in grief, heart of black but forced in green III Chapter 96: Once in grief, heart of black but forced in green IV Chapter 97: Etched in Flesh Chapter 98: Think of Home

[chuckeroo777]

Laios got Eaten AU Chapter 86-Finale

Chapters 1-52, Chapters 53-85

Welcome back! It's time to bring this to a close! Expect the chapter format to break down once we get into it!

As always, a spoiler warning for pretty much all of Dungeon Meshi. Let's go!

Chapter 86:

The first bit is mostly the same, except since the pearlipede isn't a weapon, there is no seppuku scare.

Flamela, as usual, has no chill. While she knows Falin isn't to blame, everything is still majorly f***ed. She starts blabbing about what needs to be done now, filling in the hole, evacuating everyone, preparing a substitute lord...

A substitute lord. Falin grows very quiet, a vacant look in her eyes. Marcille knows it all too well. Falin is thinking hard about something.

After a long pause, Falin looks to Marcille. There is an almost frightening intensity in her gaze. An intensity Marcille has only seen once before.

Falin declares that she knows how to stop the Demon for good. She must become lord of the dungeon.

Everyone immediately freaks out. This is clearly an awful idea, and Falin is failing to elaborate.

Before they can get Falin to explain herself, the Demon makes itself known in it's giant form. The raw intensity of Falin's desire has it intrigued.

Falin doesn't say another word as the lion grabs the tower and swallows it whole, the rest of the party completely freaking out.

Chapter 87:

Identical

Chapter 88:

Once they arrive in the bone zone, Falin goes to approach the lion, but Marcille stops her. What exactly is she planning?

Falin takes a deep breath, before wavering, and then grabs Marcille in a tight embrace. Falin begs Marcille and the other's forgiveness for what she is about to do.

Falin kisses Marcille on the lips. Marcille is left stunned for a few seconds too long, and Falin runs off before she can stop her.

Realizing that Falin is about to sacrifice herself, everyone runs after her, but it is too late. Falin stands before the Demon, and states her desire.

"Make me the Lord of the Dungeon. However it has to happen, I desire the power to keep everyone safe from you. Forever."

They watch in horror as the Demon wraps its wings around her, and they both vanish from sight.

Chapter 89:

The demon's pocket dimension starts to shake. The bones begin to swirl and collapse. As the party is dragged under, they catch a brief glimpse of a massive figure rising from the bones. A familiar face, now sporting five hourglass eyes.

Marcille and the others fall into the water. They panic as they are helped up by Namari and the others. Falin did... something. And isn't coming back.

The original chapter structure breaks down completely here.

Nobody is given a chance to process this news, as the dungeon suddenly starts shifting again. Whole swaths are pulled back underground, and the hole in the ceiling begins to seal back up. The dungeon is reverting into it's previous form.

Many of the groups get separated in the panic, and people are dispersed across the dungeon.

Once things settle down a little, Marcille, Senshi, Chilchuck, and Izutsumi find themselves in the fifth level, back in the castle town, on the street were the red dragon fell.

Marcille breaks down into tears, the totality of what has happened finally sinking in. Senshi and Chilchuck have no idea what to say, but do their best to comfort her. Even Izutsumi reluctantly offers a hug.

After a little while, Chilchuck suggests that they should probably start heading for the surface. It shouldn't be too hard, since by sheer luck (or perhaps the dungeon's will), their bags and equipment ended up with them here.

As they awkwardly prepare to leave, they are interrupted by the sound of wings. The Laigon swoops down, and lands in front of them.

There is a moment of panic, but then they realize that the chimera isn't attacking. Laios is so happy to see his friends again, though, he is a little confused. His memories under Thistle's control are hazy, and his vocal cords are malformed, making it tricky for him to talk much.

Marcille and the others are overjoyed that Laios is alright, though the reunion is definitely bittersweet. Laios is devastated to learn that Falin sacrificed herself. But ultimately, they all need to keep going, to honor her memory.

They begin to make their way up the dungeon. Laios is excited to finally be able to assess his new body in his right mind. The dragon's soul is still there in full force, but it's controllable, just like when Laios was first revived. He only wishes his sister was here to see him finally fulfill his dream.

The dungeon is oddly calm, with the monsters keeping to themselves, and there being more fountains and food (Such as patches of Barometz and mandrakes) to be found.

As they progress, they run across more people. They meet up with Toshiro, Namari, Kabru, and Thistle on the third floor, and Laios is quick to apologize for his actions. Kabru immediately throws Thistle under the bus, pointing out that it's him who should be apologizing.

Thistle does not apologize.

After a few days travel, they make their way to the first floor. It is much bigger and more spacious than before. Everyone has met up here to discuss what happens next. Laios sits by the well to conserve his strength. He probably won't be able to leave the dungeon in his current form.

They meet up with Pattadol and get the scoop. It seems that not only has this dungeon calmed down, but dungeons across the world are calming down too. Where normally dungeons try to fan the desires of their inhabitants, the dungeons have all become oddly passive.

Marcille is about to willingly let herself be arrested by the canaries, when there is sudden another rumble. The big well at the center of the plaza begins to bubble, and a shocking figure emerges from the water.

It is Falin, in her full blown demon form.

She has eschewed the lion imagery, instead taking on the form of a terrifying yet elegant centipede woman. Her face is mostly the same, but with three additional eyes peeking out from her messy bangs, all five wide with infinity pupils. Her body is long and serpentine, with dozens of arms lining the sides. Layered golden robes complete the look. She is nearly 20 feet long, and that's only the portion sticking out of the fountain.

Before even figuring out what the hell is going on, Marcille and Laios rush forward and tearfully embrace Falin. Everyone else is understandably shocked and confused, but Falin begins to explain what happened.

When she became lord, she fused with the demon. As an nonliving creature, its will became subsumed by hers. She feared that its one true instinct, the desire to feed on desires, would overwhelm her, and she initially planned to sequester herself away from the world. However, she soon discovered a solution.

Auto-cannibalism.

Yeah, turns out she could just consume her own desire to eat desires, allowing her to assume full control of her new infinite form without the demon's corrupting influence.

(Author's note: Initially, I was struggling to figure out the ending, since a Golbetty solution was the only one I could think of. But then I realized, why does that have to be a downer ending. If I want a happy ending, I can just... do it. Plus, if auto-cannibalism isn't a peak Dungeon Meshi solution, I don't know what is.)

Falin wants to keep her use of her infinite power at a minimum, but there are a few things she definitely wants to do. First, she makes sure everyone who was affected by Marcille's reign is healed up.

Next, with Laios' help to guide her hand, she modifies his chimera form so he can live comfortably on the surface. The wings have to go, and he is made considerably smaller, more resembling a draconic centaur.

She then begins the process of ejecting the golden country from the dungeon. Once Yaad is returned to his body, he ends up being made the leader of the restored nation. The orcs are of course allowed in, and it eventually becomes a prosperous nation.

After determining that he is only capable of very rudimentary magic without his book, The elves release Thistle into the kingdom's custody a few years later. Thistle never reunites with Delgal, but at least his people are happy. He proceeds to be the grumpy court mage.

Chilchuck moves to Kahka Brud and opens a shop. He eventually reunites with his wife with Marcille's help, and the two reconcile.

Senshi returns to living in the dungeon. It is now mostly just level 6 and 7, though Falin creates plenty of caves and spaces for biodiversity to proliferate. Senshi primarily lives in the new first floor, tending the golems. He is able to massively expand his operation, becoming Melini and Kahka Brud's primary provider of cabbage and root vegetables.

Falin proposes that with her new powers, she could seperate Izutsumi's components safely. But after giving it a good hard think over a few weeks, Izutsumi realizes... she doesn't actually want that. The only reason she ever wanted that was because people treated her as an unnatural freak. And after hanging out with people who respect her for what she is, she no longer wants to give up what makes her 'her'. She ends up living around Melini, mostly squatting with her friends and hunting monsters with Laios. She does end up finding the dark mage who created her, and gets him put away for life.

While Demon Falin is a kindhearted soul, there is one instance the canaries noticed where she was extremely uncooperative. When attempting to arrest Marcille for her dungeon lord shenanigans, Falin kept changing the subject, and getting progressively more annoyed. They ultimately decide to let her have Marcille, not wanting to piss off the young goddess.

Kabru ends up becoming the governor of the dungeon, keeping track of coming and goings, making sure everyone explores safely, and generally making sure things run smoothly. Mithrun ends up retiring from the canaries and decides to work with Kabru.

Toshiro returns to the east, but he periodically still comes back to visit Falin and his friends. After a few more years of dungeoneering, Namari ends up opening an armor and weapons store.

While his home is in the dungeon, Laios ends up working for Yaad and the kingdom, using his knowledge and chimera strength to hunt down dangerous monsters spotted around the kingdom.

Falin is restricted to the dungeon, but she doesn't mind as long as all her friends are able to visit. She ends up being revered as the new deity of Melini. While she mostly doesn't want to use her powers willy nilly, she is always happy to heal those who ask. Plus, she is present in all the remaining ancient dungeons, ensuring they all remain stable and safe for those wishing to explore them.

Marcille of course lives in the dungeon with Falin, and continues to study magic, particularly of the ancient variety. She makes all sorts of useful discoveries over the years, and comes to be rather famous, despite her criminal past. Eventually, Falin ends up making Marcille a chimera so that Falin, Marcille, and Laios can be together for a very long time. Plus, Marcille and Falin have all sorts of real freaky sex.

And they all lived happily ever after. The end.

Thanks to everyone who has enjoyed my silly little AU. I hope you enjoyed this crazy finale, even if it's 90% wish fulfillment on my part.

Till next time!

[katemartinismywife]

big ten champs - k.m

☺︎ kate martin ☺︎

Overtime. Natalee was praying that Iowa was going to come out with the win. She kept her eyes on her fiance Kate Martin as they were exiting the huddle to begin the jump ball. "Come on baby" Natalee yelled with no care in the world. She wanted this win for Kate.

She knew they could win this for the third year in a row. Kate ran to the corner preparing for her three-pointer. Sydney gets the ball and passes it to Kate allowing her to sink the shot. Natalee cheered and squeezed Kate's mom's hand.

"They've got it" Jill spoke squeezing her hand back. 84-82. Iowa was losing. It was back to Iowa's ball possession. They left Kate open at the three-point line. 84-85. Nebraska shoots a three...they make it. 89-91. It is time for Kate to shoot her free throws.

Jill wraps her arms around Natalee, praying her shots go in. Her first show bounces on the rim a little before falling in. "Yes, Kate!" Jill and Natalee both yell getting ready for her next shot. She misses her second shot. "It's okay baby! You got 18 seconds left" Natalee cheered watching Kate the entire time.

She didn't miss the light smirk Kate did while running back to get on defense either. 89-94.. IOWA WINS. Jill and Natalee begin jumping up and down hugging each other. After the two minute team celebration, Kate runs over to Natalee pulling her out of the stands.

Natalee wraps her legs around Kate, hiding her face in the crook of her neck. "I'm so proud of you baby," Natalee tells her leaning up and kissing her lips. Natalee slides down seeing cameras zoom in on the two.

Natalee wipes the happy tears off of Kate's face and places a kiss where the tears used to be. Kate continues holding her waist while hugging her mom and speaking to fans. "Meet me in the tunnel" Kate whispers to her kissing her cheek and running off.

"You make her so happy Nat" Jill smiles hugging her future daughter-in-law. "That's all I want to do" Natalee states hugging her back and wiping a tear off her face. Natalee walks inside the tunnel and scrolls on her phone before she feels her fiance's presence in front of her.

"Hi baby" Kate smiles wrapping her into a sweaty hug. "Hi my love" Natalee responds wrapping her arms around her waist. "I heard you cheering for me" Kate smiles letting her hands rest on Nat's hips. "I have to support my fiance" Natalee cheeses showing Kate the ring.

"Mm that word sounds nice"

"What word?" Natalee teases allowing her hands to crawl under Kate's jersey feeling her sweaty back. "The f word" Kate smirks kissing her forehead. "My sexy fiance" Kate connects their lips letting them move together slowly. Both girls letting out small moans.

"Excuse me? Kate they are ready for your interview" One of the team managers tell her shyly then walking off. "Way to ruin a moment" Kate jokes pulling Nat with her to the interview.

Natalee stands in the corner to make sure she isn't in the way, but she still has a good angle on Kate.

"Kate you carried your team during OT with your three's. How does that make you feel?" Kate keeps her eye on Nat who smiles at her from the corner. Kate smirks then begins to answer the question.

"Nebraska just left me open and when I see an opportunity I take it. All of our girls put in work to win this game today, so people can't just say it is me, Caitlin, or Gabbie."

"Why was this game so important to you?"

"Every game is important, but this is my last college championship and I had to make sure I did everything I could out there. And it is hard for every game to not mean something because I have my family and my fiance cheering for me, I mean they miss important things to them just so they can come watch me play."

"Fiance?"

"Yes. I got engaged recently and I guess this is our announcement." Kate laughed scratching the back of her head. "Is he in the room with us?" "SHE is actually" Kate motions for Natalee to come stand beside her.

"This is my fiance, Natalee." Kate smiles kissing the side of her head.

[falsestardust]

angst + hurt/comfort prompts (dialogue, scenarios, vague single words…)

1. “I thought I was getting better.”

2. Sick

3. Delirium

4. Thermometer

5. “They don’t care about you.”

6. Exhaustion

7. Journal

8. Fears

9. “Make it stop.”

10. Nightmare

11. Insecurity

12. Hiding an Injury

13. “Get some sleep.”

14. Shock

15. Insomnia

16. Safety Net

17. “It’s broken.”

18. Overstimulation

19. Isolation

20. Mirror

21. “I quit.”

22. Recording

23. Radio Silence

24. Polaroid/Photographs

25. “It should have been me.”

26. Lying

27. Pinned

28. Confrontation

29. "We are not having this conversation."

30. Blanket Fort

31. Collapse

32. Trapped

33. “You matter to me.”

34. Scars

35. Betrayal

36. Begging

37. “I’m fine.”

38. Kidnapping

39. Hiding

40. Overworked

41. “You can’t be here.”

42. Restrained

43. Dissociation

44. Cold Compress

45. “Don’t go where I can’t follow.”

46. Self-Harm

47. Memories

48. Discovery

49. “None of this is your fault.”

50. Touch Aversion

51. History

52. Gaslighting

53. “Something isn’t right.”

54. Flashbacks

55. Shadows

56. Headaches

57. “Leave me alone.”

58. Drugging

59. Touch-Starved

60. Storm

61. “I never had a choice.”

62. Future

63. Hair-Pulling

64. Blanket

65. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

66. Borrowed Clothing

67. Aftermath

68. Goodbye Note

69. “It's just—“

70. Haunt

71. Pillow

72. Matches

73. “Last night never happened.”

74. Long-Distance

75. Setbacks

76. Emotional Support Animal

77. “I can’t breathe.”

78. Warm Soup

79. Parents

80. Scar Reveal

81. “You’re too late.”

82. Panic Attacks

83. Emptiness

84. Breaking Point

85. “It’s not enough anymore.”

86. Bridal Carry

87. Stalking

88. Suppressed Suffering

89. “You need to stay awake.”

90. Crying

91. Comfort Item

92. Blindfold

93. “Where would I even go?”

94. Afraid to Sleep

95. Found Family

96. Bloody Knife

97. “Forget everything else.”

98. Cozy

99. Non-Consensual/Dubious Consent

100. Adrenaline

101. “Why do you even care?”

102. Suicide Attempt

103. Disaster Date

104. Protective

105. “Let me see.”

106. Game Night

107. Neglect

108. Makeshift Bandages

109. “Close your eyes and lean on me.”

110. “I don’t need you to help me, I can handle things myself.”

[underneaththatblackblanket]

"The 200+ Symptoms of Fibromyalgia"

(Note: Some symptoms may overlap)

GENERAL

1. Activity level decreased to less than 50% of pre-illness activity level

2. Cold hands and feet (extremities)

3. Cough

4. Craving carbohydrates

5. Delayed reaction to physical activity or stressful events

6. Dryness of eyes and/or mouth

7. Edema (Oedema)

8. Family member(s) with Fibromyalgia

9. Fatigue, made worse by physical exertion or stress

10. Feeling cold often

11. Feeling hot often

12. Frequent sighing

13. Heart palpitations

14. Hoarseness

15. Hypoglycemia (blood sugar falls or low)

16. Increased thirst

17. Low blood pressure (below 110/70)

18. Low body temperature (below 97.6)

19. Low-grade fevers

20. Night sweats

21. Noisy joints – with or without pain

22. Poor circulation in hands/feet

23. Profuse sweating

24. Recurrent flu-like illness

25. Shortness of breath with little or no exertion

26. Severe nasal allergies (new or worsening allergies)

27. Sore throat

28. Subjective swelling of extremities – (feels swollen Bu can’t find anything)

29. Sweats

30. Symptoms worsened by air travel

31. Symptoms worsened by stress

32. Symptoms worsened by temperature changes

33. Tender or swollen lymph nodes, especially in neck and underarms

34. Tremor or trembling

35. Unexplained weight gain or loss

PAIN

36. Abdominal wall pain

37. Bad hip pain

38. Burning Nerve Pain

39. Chest pain

40. Collarbone pain

41. Diffuse swelling

42. Elbow pain

43. Exacerbated Plantar arch or heel pain

44. “Growing” pains that don’t go away once you are done growing

45. Headache – tension or migraine

46. Inflamed Rib Cartilage

47. Joint pain

48. Lumpy, tender breasts

49. Morning stiffness

50. Muscle pain - widespread

51. Muscle spasms

52. Muscle twitching

53. Muscle weakness

54. Pain that ranges from moderate to severe

55. Pain that moves around the body

56. Paralysis or severe weakness of an arm or leg

57. Restless Leg Syndrome

58. Rib Pain

59. Scalp Pain (like hair being pulled out)

60. Sciatica-like pain

61. Tender points or trigger points

62. TMJ syndrome

63. “Voodoo Doll” Poking Sensation in random places

NEUROLOGICAL

64. Blackouts

65. Brain fog

66. Carpal Tunnel

67. Feeling spaced out

68. Hallucinating smells

69. Inability to think clearly

70. Lightheadedness

71. Noise intolerance

72. Numbness or tingling sensations

73. Photophobia (sensitivity to light)

74. Seizures

75. Seizure-like episodes

76. Sensation that you might faint

77. Syncope (fainting)

78. Tinnitus (ringing in one or both ears)

79. Vertigo or dizziness

EQUILIBRIUM/PERCEPTION

80. Bumping into things

81. Clumsy Walking

82. Difficulty balancing

83. Difficulty judging distances (when driving, etc.)

84. Directional disorientation

85. Dropping things frequently

86. Feeling spatially disoriented

87. Frequent tripping or stumbling

88. Not seeing what you’re looking at

89. Poor balance and coordination

90. Staggering gait

SLEEP

91. Alertness/energy best late at night

92. Altered sleep/wake schedule

93. Awakening frequently

94. Difficulty falling asleep

95. Difficulty staying asleep

96. Excessive sleeping

97. Extreme alertness or energy levels late at night

98. Falling asleep at random and sometimes dangerous moments

99. Fatigue

100. Light or broken sleep pattern

101. Muscle spasms/twitches at night

102. Narcolepsy

103. Sleep disturbances

104. Sleep starts or falling sensations

105. Teeth grinding - "Bruxism"

106. Tossing and turning

107. Un-refreshing or non-restorative sleep

108. Vivid or disturbing dreams/nightmares

EYES/VISION

109. Blind spots in vision

110. Eye pain

111. Difficulty switching focus from one thing to another

112. Frequent changes in ability to see well

113. Night driving difficulty

114. Occasional Blurry vision

115. Poor night vision

116. Rapidly worsening vision

117. Vision changes

COGNITIVE

118. Becoming lost in familiar locations when driving

119. Confusion

120. Difficulty expressing ideas in words

121. Difficulty following conversation (especially if background noise present)

122. Difficulty following directions while driving

123. Difficulty following oral instructions

124. Difficulty following written instructions

125. Difficulty making decisions

126. Difficulty moving your mouth to speak

127. Difficulty paying attention

128. Difficulty putting ideas together to form a complete picture

129. Difficulty putting tasks or things in proper sequence

130. Difficulty recognizing faces

131. Difficulty speaking known words

132. Difficulty remembering names of objects

133. Difficulty remembering names of people

134. Difficulty understanding what you read

135. Difficulty with long-term memory

136. Difficulty with simple calculations

137. Difficulty with short-term memory

138. Easily distracted during a task

139. Dyslexia-type symptoms occasionally

140. Feeling too disoriented to drive

141. Forgetting how to do routine things

142. Impaired ability to concentrate

143. Inability to recognize familiar surroundings

144. Losing track in the middle of a task (remembering what to do next)

145. Losing your train of thought in the middle of a sentence

146. Loss of ability to distinguish some colors

147. Poor judgment

148. Short term memory impairment

149. Slowed speech

150. Staring into space trying to think

151. Stuttering; stammering

152. Switching left and right

153. Transposition (reversal) of numbers, words and/or letters when you speak

154. Transposition (reversal) of numbers, words and/or letters when you write

155. Trouble concentrating

156. Using the wrong word

157. Word-finding difficulty

EMOTIONAL

158. Abrupt and/or unpredictable mood swings

159. Anger outbursts

160. Anxiety or fear when there is no obvious cause

161. Attacks of uncontrollable rage

162. Decreased appetite

163. Depressed mood

164. Feeling helpless and/or hopeless

165. Fear of someone knocking on the door

166. Fear of telephone ringing

167. Feeling worthless

168. Frequent crying

169. Heightened awareness – of symptoms

170. Inability to enjoy previously enjoyed activities

171. Irrational fears

172. Irritability

173. Overreaction

174. Panic attacks

175. Personality changes –usually a worsening of pervious condition

176. Phobias

177. Suicide attempts

178. Suicidal thoughts

179. Tendency to cry easily

GASTROINTESTINAL

180. Abdominal cramps

181. Bloating

182. Decreased appetite

183. Food cravings

184. Frequent constipation

185. Frequent diarrhea

186. Gerd-like Symptoms

187. Heartburn

188. Increased appetite

189. Intestinal gas

190. Irritable bladder - "Angry Bladder Syndrome"

191. Irritable bowel syndrome - IBS-C, IBS-D

192. Nausea

193. Regurgitation

194. Stomachache

195. Vomiting

196. Weight gain - unexplained

197. Weight loss - unexplained

UROGENITAL

198. Decreased libido (sex drive)

199. Endometriosis

200. Frequent urination

201. Impotence

202. Menstrual problems

203. Painful urination or bladder pain - "Interstitial Cystitis"

204. Pelvic pain

205. Prostate pain

206. Worsening of (or severe) premenstrual syndrome (PMS or PMDD)

SENSITIVITIES

207. Alcohol intolerance

208. Allodynia (hypersensitive to touch)

209. Alteration of taste, smell, and/or hearing

210. Sensitivity to chemicals in cleaning products, perfumes, etc.

211. Sensitivities to foods

212. Sensitivity to light

213. Sensitivity to mold

214. Sensitivity to noise

215. Sensitivity to odors

216. Sensitivity to yeast (getting yeast infections frequently on skin, etc.)

217. Sensory overload

218. Sensitivity to pressure & humidity changes

219. Sensitivity to extreme temperature changes

220. Vulvodynia

SKIN

221. Able to “write” on skin with finger

222. Bruising easily

223. Bumps and lumps

224. Eczema or psoriasis

225. Hot/dry skin

226. Ingrown hairs

227. Itchy/Irritable skin

228. Mottled skin

229. Rashes or sores

230. Scarring easily

231. Sensitivity to the sun

232. Skin suddenly turns bright red

CARDIOVASCULAR (Heart)

233. “Click-murmur” sounds through stethoscope

234. Fluttery heartbeat

235. Heart palpitations

236. Irregular heartbeat

237. Loud pulse in ear

238. Pain that mimics heart attack - "Costochondritis"

239. Rapid heartbeat

HAIR/NAILS

240. Dull, listless hair

241. Heavy and splitting cuticles

242. Irritated nail beds

243. Nails that curve under

244. Pronounced nail ridges

245. Temporary hair loss

OTHER

246. Canker sores

247. Dental problems

248. Disk Degeneration

​249. Hemorrhoids

250. Nose bleeds

251. Periodontal (gum) disease

252. Need for early hysterectomy

[pray4saint]

modern!sirius taking the bdsm test

masterlist & descrip. pg-13. 16+ lots of kinks mentioned. sirius black's reaction to his partner asking him to take the bdsm test. implied sex at the end.

when you bring it up, sirius' lips pull up into a smirk and you can see a glimmer of.. something, in his eyes

he's pretty hasty to follow you to the desk where you set everything up for him

”would'ya like me to leave you be my love?” ”no, you can sit right there.” he pointed to a nearby chair where you could see the screen at all times

despite being close, you spent most of your time on your phone, only turning to look at the screen when he muttered something under his breath and you smiled, you knew the questions on the test and his reactions to them were quite amusing

”what's so funny?” he'd turn away and look at you, ”nothin' siri, just somethin' alice said.” you smiled to him, keeping your little lie wrapped up

in comparison to how long it took you to finish the test, it seemed like sirius finished it twice as fast, getting up and ushering you over to sit and read the screen

the kinks coming in at 100% were degrader, rigger, and master/mistress

the 90, 80, and 70 percents held quite a bit, your favourites being rope bunny at 96%, pet at 85%, submissive at 72%, and brat at 89%

”good merlin..” you muttered, piquing sirius' ears up at your words ”what, what's wrong?” ”nothing siri, just surprised is all.”

”so.. what does all this mean angel?” ”just that you are so much hotter than i thought my love.” sirius laughs quite heartily ”w-what?” ”you're adorable siri.”

of course he asked what your results were like and you told him not to worry about it, and because he wouldn't stop pestering you about it, you had to distract him in, not the best way you knew how, but the second

you took his phone out of his pocket and literally ran away with it, made him chase you through the entire apartment before landing back on your shared bed and distracting him in the best way you knew how

except this time you glanced over at the computer, thinking of all the ways could get the switch to flip inside of him and get the side that wanted to call you something he otherwise wouldn't, to awaken

pray4saint© do not copy, translate or repost my work without my express permission.

[svt-aurora]

｡･:*:･ﾟ★, RELATIONSHIPS WITH AURORA ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

+* minghao x aurora

☆ ship name: haoreum

☆ popularity: 88%

☆ minghao and aurora are the fashion ICONS of seventeen. their styles are not quite the same, but they contrast each other’s so well. and the airport is basically their runway. you will never catch the8 or areum lacking with their outfits. but, you know how myungho is always the one to sit out when seventeen is doing one of their weird shenanigans and judges them on the side instead? she is always there to pull him into the thrill of moment, and though he doesn’t want to ruin his image (even though it’s too late for that), he’s willing to join for aurora anyways.

+* mingyu x aurora

☆ ship name: gyura

☆ popularity: 89%

☆ mingyu and aurora adore each other so much. everyone else might see mingyu as a big and intimidating guy, but on the inside he’s just a big teddy bear. areum will never not bring out that side of him. these two love to cook together, take care of the members together, and most definitely: be clumsy together. they have quite similar personalities, which is a big factor in their close relationship.

+* dokyeom x aurora

☆ ship name: dora

☆ popularity: 85%

☆ dokyeom and aurora are such cuties. they are definitely seventeen’s two balls of sunshine. dk and areum are always trying to lighten the mood whenever something bad has happened. they really crack the best jokes, and are honestly just so affectionate with each other. and whenever seokmin starts belting out random songs, she’ll always be there to finish the lyrics.

+* seungkwan x aurora

☆ ship name: booreum

☆ popularity: 81%

☆ TWO WORDS: gossip duo. seungkwan and aurora are that one duo who say they don’t judge, but their side eyes say otherwise. if looks could kill, anyone who has made eye contact with these two would’ve been six feet below ground a long time ago. they also have a love-hate relationship, like one minute they’ll be hyping each other up, but then the other they’ll be pulling on the other’s hair and threatening to kill each other.

+* vernon x aurora

☆ ship name: arnon

☆ popularity: 78%

☆ aurora loves vernon for how clumsy and nonchalant he can be, and he loves how straight forward she is. vernon is another one of the members who judge from the side instead of actually being apart of seventeen’s chaos. either areum will join him by also judging them, or she’ll drag him along too, which ends up happening most of the time. one of their favorite things to do in front of the members is to talk in english (along with josh) just to tease them because they can never actually understand the complicated words that are spoken.

+* dino x aurora

☆ ship name: archan

☆ popularity: 99.5%

☆ so you know how everyone in seventeen has their ship? like for example: seoksoo, jeongcheol, minwon etc. well for aurora and dino, they’re shipped with each other ALL the time. their dynamic is like a mother with her son, but at the same time best friends. areum always babies dino because frankly, he will always be her baby. and chan doesn’t wanna admit it, but everyone knows he loves being aurora’s baby.

[headsincloud9]

Part 1 | Part 3

SMUT MINORS DNI

85. "I didn't know you were so sensitive."

86. "Don't be so rough, there can't be any marks."

87. "| really don't care. You stilook hot and I'm trying not to fuck you senseless right now.

88. "Are you sure? Once we start, I might not be able to stop."

89. "No. I'm supposed to making YOU feel good."

90, "Stop teasing me so much."

91. "Bed. Now."

92. "You're in trouble now."

93. "I'm waiting."

94. "Maybe I should get you a collar so you don't forget who you belong to."

95. "You better watch your fucking mouth."

96. "Do you really think it's a good idea to talk like that to me?"

97. "Didl say you could stop?"

98, "First one to make a noise loses."

99. "| love the way you look with my fingers inside you."

100. "You keep acting like a brat I'll take you over my knee right here, I don't care how many people are watching."

101. "I guess I'll just get off all by myself."

102. "You deserve a reward for being so good today, what would you like it to be?"

103. "I can't wait to put bruises all over that pretty skin."

104, "Could you send me a hot photo of yourself, I need something to get off to.

105. "You look so good on your knees like that."

106. "These walls are pretty thick. Which means you and I can be as loud as we want."

107, "Did you touch yourself while I was gone."

108. "If you leave the house wearing that then the second you come home I'm bending you over the bed."

109, "Mine."

110. "We can't do that here."

111. "Oh kitten, don't make me tell you twice."

112. "Behave."

113, "What did you just say?"

114. "Do I want to know why you were screaming?"

115. "Come here."

116. "Watch me."

117. "I don't want to hear your excuses anymore."

118. "If you can't sleep...how about we have sex?"

119, "Put that thing away."

120. "Don't go whipping that thing out!*

121. "Don't kink shame mel"

122. "If you interrupt me one more time - so help me god."

123. "I'm going to put on my clothes before you say anything else."

124, "Tell me what you want.

125. "Could you make me feel as good as I do?"

126. "Y-you're not..w-wearing anything under that are you?"

127. "Are you trying to turn me on or are you really that oblivious?"

128. "There's no way anyone is that innocent!"

129. "You taste like fucking candy.'

130. "The only way you're getting off is on my thigh."

131. "Wait your turn, love."

132. "Oh my god did you just say that out loud?"

133. "You make a sound and it's game over.'

134. "Just let me finish this and I swear I'll go down on you till you cum at least three time.'

135. "If 1 have to stop what I'm doing, you won't be able to walk the next way.

136. "1 could just pull your bikini bottoms to the side, no one willnotice.

137. "|haven't even touched you and you're already wet."

138. "Were you just masturbating?"

139. "What are you doing in my bed?"

140. "Want help with that?"

141. "Shut up!" "Why don't you come over here and make me!"

142. "You're so tucking hot when you're mad."

143. "The fucks wrong with you are you in heat?"

144, "We're not just friends and you know it."

145. "Come here, you can sit on my lap till'm done working.

146. "What? Does that feel good?

147. "You mean like this?"

148. "I'm not jealous! it's just...you're mine."

149. "Did it hit when you fell from heaven?" "No, but 1 scraped my knee crawling out of Hell."

150. "If we get caught I'm blaming you."

151. "We have to be quiet."

152. "Tellme that again."

153. "You have no idea how much I want you."

154, "If we weren't in public right now, I'd have my head between your legs

155. "Sayit."

156. "If you don't like my teasing then why are you moaning?"

157, "Wow -I didn't realize you were that... flexible."

158. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard you forget that guy's name."

159. "You better shut that pretty little mouth before 1 put it to work, doll"

160. "I think that's the first time I've heard you moan.

161. "I really want to kiss you right now."

162. "Wanna fuck?"

163. "Hey, you dtf?"

164. "You're not taking me to bed. Ever," "Who said it had to be on the bed?"

165. "She/He may seem all sweet and innocent but behind closed doors that boy/girl is dark

and dirty."

166, "Ah. He/she's playing hard-to-get. That's cute."

167. "For the love of fuck." "Yep. That's me. I like to fuck."

168. "Just eat me." ". .But you'll die.." "that is not what I meant-"

169. "How do I look?"

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 119. brb x oc

a/n: rooster is the best husband. reblogs and comments are much appreciated <3 thank you,THANK YOU for liking my fic

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none.

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/

/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82/83/84/85/86/87/88

/89/90/91/92/93/94/95/96/97/98/99/100/101/102/103/104/105

/106/107/108/109/110/111/112/113/114/115/116/117/118

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-

He watched her from the doorway, gray sweatpants on, a white tee stretched on his shoulders and a pleased little smile on his face as Beatrice busied herself by heating up their dinner. He allowed his eyes to drop towards the fullness of her ass and the way those pants hugged the curve beautifully.

He tilted his head to the side, furrowing his brows, was her ass a bit bigger? Not that he’d complain if it was because he loved her butt, but he couldn’t help but look at it for a while longer. She did become curvier after having Nikki,which he also couldn’t complain about, she looked like those Roman goddesses of old with that banging body of hers.

But he just looked for a little while, then tilted his head the other way, smirking when he could see the line of her thong underneath the fabric, “Is that red?”

“Huh?”

He nods towards her behind,”Is it red?”

Beatrice furrowed her brows in confusion, then looked down at herself thinking there was some stain or maybe she got her period and wasn’t prepared for it, until she saw the sliver of red peeking from under her pants and laughed, “Oh, well, yeah,yeah it is.” she giggles, pulling her pants a little bit higher, “It’s very comfortable.’

“It looks comfortable.” he adds, stepping closer to her so he could hug her from behind, kissing underneath her ear and smiling when she leaned against him, “And it looks great to take it off too.”

“Roos…”

“Not my fault my wife is hot.” he replies,kissing her jawline with his arms holding her tighter against his chest, “What are you heating up?”

“Some of the leftovers from last night: chicken alfredo and some garlic cheese bread my mom brought over. It’s fresh and I’m just heating it up for the crunch.” she explains, letting his lips touch her skin and grin when she felt the mustache tickle her neck,”You are very touchy tonight.”

“Am I?”

“Yes, you are.” she turns her head towards him,”Not that I’m complaining,I love when you get touchy.”

“I know you do.” he nuzzles her neck, inhaling the lavender scent and smirking when she giggled over his touch, “I love getting touchy with you…and I don’t think I have a reason tonight,maybe I’m just happy with how everything is going.” he begins, watching her stir the fettuccine in the pot and hearing Nicole babble from her bouncer not too far from them,” I have a really good life,baby. And I’m happy…I’m happy with you,with Nikki,with the dogs.” his hands slid down to her stomach, “And for whatever kids come after our baby girl,I swear.”

Beatrice had to clench the spoon when he mentioned that, immediately panicking thinking he saw the tests.

But he didn’t say anything,he just nuzzled even closer to her, humming deep in his chest and inhaling her scent once more, “I’m so happy to hear that Roos.” his thumb rubbed circles on her stomach and she tried to relax a bit more, he didn’t know why she was nervous so there was no reason to give that worry any more thought.

He stood there, behind her, hugging her close and smiling with his eyes closed as she moved around the stove and she bit her lower lip, his hands were almost protecting her stomach.  He didn’t know…but maybe he should.

She shouldn’t hide things from Rooster, that’s not how they relationship was.

But she was nervous and scared…so maybe, later, later they could talk about it.

“Baby.” his deep voice murmurs on her neck, face slowly lifting to press kisses to her cheek,”You look worried.”

“I don’t want to burn this.” she lies quickly, turning off the stove once she sees it bubbling and blinking down at the pot,”Yeah,I don’t want to burn this.”

Rooster hummed against her neck, his hands only moving now that she turned the stove off and there was no heat directed to her middle. Beatrice smiles as she feels them dragging away from her body, giggling at the love tap he gives each buttcheek before he steps back and kisses her nape,”I’m going to put Nikki up.” he says, bare feet touching the tiled floor as he approaches their daughter.

Beatrice looks over with her eyes soft, seeing how he gently picked their little girl up - always lifting her higher than his own height, just to make her giggle and make her feel like she’s flying- then bringing her down to kiss those chubby cheeks and earn the cutest,most lovely giggle a baby could give.

He was a good father.

A wonderful husband.

She was just scared….for some reason. Mainly the guilt, mainly the guilt of being pregnant so soon. Wanting or not, it was her responsibility, she told him it was okay, there was no need to worry about condoms or anything of the sort, she was taking care of herself.

She looks down at her navel, trying to once again see if there was any difference and of course there wasn’t, she still had her rolls and nothing else. Her pants were still comfortable and not tight at all. She sighed, rubbing her face with both hands before checking on the rest of her dinner.

She was so focused on herself she hadn’t seen Rooster watching, which he always did, he loved to watch her. His brown eyes following the way her green ones seemed to wander off to the side - a telltale sign of her own overthinking - and her eyebrows were low and the frown she wasn’t aware of was more prominent.

He wasn’t sure what was going on in her mind, he thought that it was a good day - after all she spent more of it out and about with Nicole and Shells. But he knew Beatrice way too well by now - four years together does that - and he knew when she was thinking too much, possibly blaming herself for something she had no control over.

“Baby,I can set everything up for dinner.” he says after Nicole is on her seat, babbling and slapping her little hands on the tray repeatedly,”You can stay with Nikki.”

“Oh,but I can-” he cuts her off by kissing her lips, her body relaxing and eyes fluttering because he had that power over her, when he pulls back with the softest smacking sound Beatrice only stared up at him with her pupils wide, “...okay…”

He smirks, stepping aside to let her pass - not before slapping her ass on the way - so he could take over for her. He still watched her before she sat down next to Nicole, their baby girl squealing happily once she noticed her mother was there now. “So.” he begins, opening the stove to check on their chicken and garlic bread, “How was your day? With Shells?”

He hears the ‘pop!’ of the baby food opening and Beatrice’s reply soon after, “Oh it was fine, we uh, had to buy some stuff for her. She always forgets to buy the simplest stuff.”

‘Yeah,I know,gorgeous…anything else happened?”

“Um…” he smiles when he hears Nicole’s ‘om nom nom’ - she genuinely makes that sound and he didn’t know how to react sometimes, their daughter was too precious - “No? I mean,we had ice cream and Nicole tried to get a bite but she can’t have milk until she’s older,I’m sorry Nikki.”

“Baah!”

“I know, it’s unfair.”

Rooster places the steaming chicken in the middle of their table with the garlic bread right next to it, licking his finger when some of the sauce clings on it, “Anything else?”

Beatrice flicks her gaze towards him - he could see the layer of nervousness already taking over, something did happen but she wasn’t ready to share with him yet- “No…not really. We just…had fun together, oh! Well,there was an accident with a Lamborghini when we left the grocery store and the guy was pissed and the cops were called. I think it even showed on TV, Shells saw the cameras,I didn’t.”

“Hmhm.”

“What?”

He purses his lips, leaning down to kiss her temple,”When you feel ready,” he begins,”To share with me what’s bothering you, you know you can.”

And she looked so guilty that he almost retracted his statement. Her eyes were wide and her lips parted, she was holding the spoon - now empty - close to Nicole’s mouth but her daughter’s little burbling and laughing only made her notice there was nothing there…at all, “...I…”

“Baby,” he says, warmly and so kind, “Baby, when you are ready. Don’t force it out yet, okay?”

“...okay,Roos.”

“Good,I love you pretty girl.” 

“I love you too.” 

He kissed her forehead before placing everything on the table, sitting down next to Beatrice and holding her hand once he was close enough.

-

She managed to grab her bag late that night - it took some squeezing and moving her hand under the couch,even some help from Jolene.- But she got it. She was in the dark,using only her phone as a source of light because Rooster was upstairs, in their bedroom and Beatrice used the excuse of needing a glass of water to get out of bed.

He was already half asleep and she thought…even if he said she could, she was still nervous. But she trusted him, but she also was nervous…but she loved him…

But she was nervous.

“This is so stupid.” she muttered, standing from her kneeling position with her bag held tightly against her chest, “This is so dumb, oh my God,I should just tell him.” she hoped her whispers weren’t that loud as she made her way up the stairs, saying goodbye to Jolene when she settled on the couch.

The light in their bedroom was still on, he kept it that way so she wouldn’t fumble around in the dark - god he was so sweet. She peeked inside for a second, blinking when she saw his bare back looking at her, rising and falling with the gentlest of snores breaking the silence in their bedroom, “...okay.” she carefully walked inside, setting the bag in the chair and carefully opening it.

She bites her lower lip, keeping an eye on him at every little noise she makes, managing to grab the three pregnancy tests with her teeth clenched. The boxes rubbed against one another and it was…unbelievably loud, but her husband didn’t wake up.

“If he does he’ll understand.” she whispers to herself, her eyes kept looking back at him to make sure he was still asleep.

Beatrice chews her lower lip, carefully patting over to the bathroom and shutting the door quietly behind her. She splayed the pregnancy tests in front of her and chewed the side of her thumb repeatedly, looking down at the three boxes as if it was the end of the world.

Do it,bambina, you know he won’t be mad.He loves you.

“And I love him.” she replies to her own thoughts, still looking down at the tests, turning one of the boxes back and forth before sighing heavily. She paces a bit in the bathroom, holding her temples, her night shirt smelling like him and normally it’d make her calm down but she couldn’t.

“Okay,” she stops,closing her eyes and tenting her hands, “Let’s…explain why I’m so nervous about this.” she inhales, pressing her fingers against her lips, “Why am i so scared? Let’s find reasons for it, because there is a reason, there’s always a reason.” Beatrice goes back to pacing, eyes still closed as she tries to find the words.

“First of: Nicole is young. She’s six months old, we planned more kids but only when Nikki was older.” she mutters, furrowing her brows, “Secondly: I was responsible for keeping up with my birth control, not Rooster. The reason I might be pregnant again has to be because I messed up and since I know myself,I’m already blaming every single second out of it.” she sighs again, rubbing her face, “Third: his job, he’s already stressed enough with Nicole, having more kids now it’s only going to make him more worried and so that can make him lose focus- okay that’s a lie, he’d never lose focus because of that…”

Beatrice frowned, “I think the first two make more sense.” she murmured, sighing heavily and leaning against the wall,sliding to the floor and thunking her head against the wall, interlacing her fingers between her thighs. She could see one of the boxes peeking over the edge of the sink, she knew she had to do it…but she was also scared, extremely so.

She was already blaming herself, she already had her own doubts…and yet she knew she had to do this.

“I’m going to.” she couldn’t wait for the holidays any longer too, she had to do this now and get this over with. She had her eyes closed, too lost in her own thoughts to hear the sounds from the outside.

She didn’t hear Rooster’s sleepy tone calling her name, nor heard his footsteps approaching the door, nor the knocking. Her husband stood outside, still blinking hard because of sleep and confused as to why she wasn’t answering, knocking one more time before asking if he could get inside.

Again, no answer.

And when there was no answer, Rooster’s mind went to the worst scenarios.

Again he says her name, this time turning the knob and wincing over the fluorescent lights above his head, “Jesus-Baby?”

“R-Rooster!”

He finally sees her, on the floor, quickly trying to pull herself upwards and almost lunging at the sink, in fact she did lunge at the sink, covering part of it with her upper body. He just blinked, still trying to understand what was going on, then rubbed his eyes with a tired grunt,’What’s happening?” he asks, trying to figure out why his wife was almost climbing on the sink.

Beatrice’s voice is gone but she tries to speak only for her mouth to open and close.While trying to adjust herself on the sink, she hears it.

A paper thud hitting the floor.

And both pairs of eyes slowly turn to the sound. The very large, very pink ‘PREGNANCY TEST’ looks back at them. She clenches her eyelids, only to open her eyes when she hears nothing but Rooster’s breathing, he’s still looking at the box, clearly confused, a mix of sleep and bewilderment in his face. ‘R-Roos.” she doesn’t stop him when he leans down to pick it up, holding it in his hands.

He turns the box once, then twice, then three times. Then rubs his eyes, blinks, and leans his head closer, “...is this…a pregnancy test or am I dreaming?”

“I…” she licks her lips, laughing nervously, “It’s… actually three.” she leans back from the sink to expose the other two boxes.

She clenches her hands tight enough for the knuckles to turn white, waiting for his reaction. Something, anything.

Rooster is still staring at the boxes, his eyes slowly focusing on her and she could see those brown irises becoming more alert, “...why do you have three pregnancy tests?” he was still sleepy, she knew that, because his voice was still slurred.

“I…” she rubs her hands, “I…didn’t get my period…and…and I’m feeling kinda sick…so…I-I think,I thought it’d be good to test it.”

“But…aren’t you on birth control shots?”

She tried not to wince, he wasn’t being accusatory, he was just curious when he asked her that, “...Yes,I mean,I…I am but,it could fail…I think.”

And silence fills the bathroom again. She’s not looking at him, too embarrassed and scared to, so she had to speak to cover up the sudden shame that was covering her right now, “I know it’s crazy,I know it is Roos. But it’s just to be sure. T-That’s all,I don’t really think I am but y-you know–”

“Baby.” he stops her rambling when he touches her shoulder, setting the box aside. She slowly looks up at him, seeing those whisky colored eyes looking down at her with the gentlest smile on his face, “Baby,it’s okay.”

“It is?”

‘I mean, it’s not what I expected to wake up to.” he laughs, “But it’s better than thinking you were sick or hurt.”

Her cheeks flushed when he said that and she leaned on his touch as soon as his hand cupped her cheek, rubbing under her eyelid with such a gentle brush she almost didn’t feel it, “I guess so…I…how do you– are you okay with this?”

He flicks his gaze to the tests, then back at her, “...honestly,I’m still thinking I’m dreaming.” he laughs again, “But…if you are wondering if I’m okay with more kids…you know I am.”

“But…it’s so soon Roos,if I am–”

“Let’s test it first.” he cuts her off gently, “I don’t want you overthinking before it happens,gorgeous. Please…let’s test it, I’ll be more awake then hopefully. I might get some coffee downstairs.”

“You can go back to sleep.”

He snorts in disbelief, “I’m not leaving you here alone.” he says, “You look terrified and I don’t plan on going back to bed like that. Especially without you.” he kisses her forehead, “Let’s do one thing then, let’s go back downstairs: I get some coffee and you get some water just to keep the sleep away.” he hugs her to his side, kissing her scalp, “What do you think?”

“I think I’m an idiot.”

“You aren’t.”

“I still think I’m an idiot.” she murmured, “I…you are having the reaction I thought you would and yet I was scared.”

Bradley huffs a laugh against her head, kissing her scalp one more time, “Ah,gorgeous.” He gently guides her out of the bathroom, letting her hug his bare torso, “You are so cute, and not an idiot.” her little ‘hrm’ was his only answer, “How about I make you a nice cappuccino? Or hot cocoa? Do you want some?”

“...yeah…that’d be nice.”

“Let’s make that two, then,I can add some coffee on mine, it’s going to be good.” he smiles, taking her towards the staircase. Honestly he was still…digesting what Beatrice said. He still thinks he’s partially dreaming, because it was such a wild concept - another baby! So soon! - that his brain was taking longer to identify information so late at night. He kissed Beatrice’s head, however, as soon as they reached the bottom floor, smiling when he just hugged him tighter. 

Dreaming or not…it’d be nice either way.

[ivys-x]

U can ask if U are cirious 🫶🏼

1. What is your sweet spot?

2. What is your favorite part of the body?

3. Do you like hair-pulling? If yes, how did you find out?

4. How do you feel about PDA?

5. Who is your biggest celebrity crush?

6. Leather or lace or silk?

7. Have you ever spanked or been spanked in the bedroom?

8. Are you rough or romantic?

9. Do you like romance?

10. What is your most embarrassing sexual fantasy?

11. What is your favorite color?

12. What would you do if I kissed you?

13. Have you ever done it in a public place?

14. What is your favorite position in the bedroom?

15. Do you think food has a place in the bedroom? (Like strawberries or whipped cream)

16. What was the worst date you’ve ever been on?

17. How many people have you done it with?

18. What is your favorite pet name? (Baby, darling, bae…)

19. Do you prefer long hair or short hair?

20. Do you enjoy watching/being watched?

21. Can you roll your tongue?

22. What is your favorite drink?

23. Do you like being blindfolded?

24. Do you want kids?

25. What is your biggest turn-off?

26. What do you wear to bed?

27. Do you like to cuddle?

28. What are your thoughts on friends with benefits?

29. How do you let someone know you like them?

30. Would you ever go skinny dipping?

31. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about one of your friends?

32. What is your type?

33. Are you a quickie or do you prefer to take your time?

34. What is your sign?

35. Do you like seeing the evidence? (Hickies, bite marks, bruises…)

36. What is the longest you’ve ever gone without it?

37. Do you normally make the first move, or do you wait for the other person?

38. How long can you go for?

39. Do you think friends can kiss without ruining their friendship?

40. What was the worst kiss you ever got and why?

41. Tongue or no tongue?

42. If you could vacation anywhere, where would you go?

43. Do you prefer to cook for your partner, or do you prefer to be cooked for?

44. What would you do if I send you a dirty picture?

45. Have you ever been to a strip club?

46. What are your thoughts on open relationships?

47. Would you ever participate in an adult film?

48. Are you flexible?

49. Do you work out?

50. Top or bottom?

51. Do you like comedies or horror movies more?

52. What is the sexiest movie you’ve ever watched?

53. How many times have you done it in a row?

54. Hair down there or clean-shaven?

55. Have you ever faked an orgasm?

56. Have you ever done it with more than one person at a time?

57. Are you a coffee or a tea person?

58. Have you ever done it in the shower?

59. Lights on or off?

60. Are you a good kisser?

61. What is the first thing you noticed about me?

62. Are you a giver or a receiver?

63. What is your biggest turn-on?

64. Do you believe in true love?

65. Who usually says the “L” word? You or the other person?

66. Are you good at dirty talk?

67. Do you like dirty talk?

68. Do you curse in the bedroom?

69. What would you do if I got you flowers?

70. What would you do if you walked in on me pleasuring myself?

71. Have you ever role-played?

72. Is it okay to kiss on the first date?

73. What is your biggest red flag?

74. What is the kinkiest thing you have ever done?

75. What is your favorite kind of foreplay?

76. Have you ever had a one-night stand?

77. Do you like massages? Giving or receiving?

78. What do you think about toys in the bedroom?

79. Are you a cat person or a dog person?

80. What is the quickest way to your heart?

81. Would you rather make out or cuddle?

82. Have you ever played any sexy games?

83. Are you the jealous type?

84. Have you ever lied to get out of a date with someone?

85. What is the weirdest thing someone has asked you to do?

86. Do you like teasing or being teased?

87. Would you ever do it in a place you might get caught?

88. Do you prefer makeup or all natural?

89. What would you do if you found out the world was ending tomorrow?

90. Have you ever done a strip tease?

91. Have you ever gotten a lap dance?

92. Piercings and tattoos or bare skin?

93. Have you ever had dirty thoughts about a friend’s sibling?

94. What is one thing you will never do in the bedroom?

95. Hair down there or clean-shaven?

96. Do you watch adult films?

97. Do looks matter?

98. What is your favorite flavor candy?

99. What would be your perfect date?

100. Would you rather go to a club or spend a night in?

[im-out-of-it]

part four I think of season 1, episode 11 continued

79. well Valentine has made his entrance in a way

80. man, don’t you hate it when this happens? like father like daughter, both using glamours lmao

81. “Yes, I am your father clary and jace’s” - Valentine. I’m sorry but this scene always kills me

82. yes let’s just believe a villain because they’re known to be completely honest

83. no dna test, no questioning??????

84. honestly this is karma for all the shit clary and Jace have pulled on Alec. and karma is a beautiful thing

85. IM SORRY I HAD TO (what? I’m a swiftie but not one of those insane swifties I promise)

86. “think about it. why the two of you are so drawn together. you’re meant to be. (yeah self involved maniacs, I see the resemblance) Blood calls to blood, no?”-valentine. I mean he makes a good point but I don’t just take everyone for their word but that’s just me

87. “everything you do is for a higher principle. you took the cup and you nearly handed it to Valentine.”- Alec. yeah almost having meliorn tortured was wrong but jace had no right taking the cup and trying to make Alec attempting to find jace the one who’s wrong. and this is why Alec leads the institute, not jace

88. “our intention? was it your intention to risk Izzy’s life for hers?” Alec 🔥 LITERALLY WHAT DID JACE THINK WOULD HAPPEN IF HE LEFT WITH THE CUP WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING

89. well this will put a damper on your relationship. at least Simon will be happy about it 🤣

90. IZZY IS FREE

91. ITS A DREAM COME TRUE!!!!! the way that Alec and Magnus are eying one another 😭🥹

92. brother and sister reunited at last ✨

93. time for Alec to say bye bye bye to his bow and arrow 🏹

94. Magnus: the fuck am I supposed to do with these?????

95. well, I guess alec did sort of “pay” magnus but we don’t count this

96. Magnus giving it the old try once more 😭

okay so there’s a few more gifs I have to add so I’ll do a small part five

[twice-inamillion]

A Moment With Family

Fluff and smut

(TIS 84 - 89 )

Chapter 84:

As you walk in with Jisoo on your chest (she is in a baby carrier), you see Twice laughing and enjoying themselves like in the old days. You pull out your phone and take a video and a couple of shots of them for the memories. You stop and realize that after all these changes in their lives, they are still together like sisters. You see Jihyo in the middle of the group being competitive like always, with Nayeon, Sana bothering Dahyun and trying to kiss her, and Chaeyoung clinging to mina like always. You try to walk in without disturbing them, but Jisoo sees her mommy and wants to get picked up by her. Jihyo stands up, rushes to Jisoo, and asks how the little date with Jisoo went. You all walk to the living room where the group is and tell them what you did.

You share the video from your phone to the large tv and show them the video of the teen dancers having fun dancing to Twice songs. They complement them in their dancing and wish they could all be on stage once again. Momo jokes and says, "maybe we should do a v live and introduce them to the 10th member of Twice (Jisoo)," and all of them laugh. Mina then says, "or maybe we can tell them that we are going to have two new members coming soon," while mina shows her gummy smile. Dahyun tries to say something while trying to get their attention but decides on to say anything. You then remember that you forgot to bring in a late-night treat for them when you were in the city. Momo's ears perk, and she asks you what you brought; you say chicken, and she asks you for the keys to your car. She runs to your car and brings the two large bags of fried chicken in while Chaeyoung brings out the soju and beers from the fridge. Jihyo tries to grab a beer for herself, but Jeongyeon smacks her hand and says, "you want Jisoo to get drunk too?" You see a disappointed face on Jihyo since she is known to best the best drinker out of twice. Mina stands up and walks to the fridge to get some juice instead; she asks who would like some, and both Jihyo and Dahyun raise their hand. Mina brings a pack of juices from the fridge and sets them on the table.

“I'll chuckle at Jeongyeon slapping away Jihyo’s hand from the beer. I'll try to sit next to Dahyun, and whisper "I haven't forgotten" into her ear. I'll relax and enjoy the time I can spend with them all. It'll be the last time for a while so I should make the most of it.”

Chapter 85:

Everyone is laughing at Jihyo after Jeongyeon smacks her hand for trying to get beer even though she is breastfeeding Jisoo. Jihyo says how much she misses drinking with Twice. You grab some items from the kitchen and sit next to Dahyun. You pass her some chocolate milk and whisper to her, "I haven't forgotten," and she blushes. The night goes by some of the twice members get drunk. Jeongyeon helps Jihyo carry baby Jisoo to their room after she notices thatJjisoo is getting irritated because she is sleepy. Dahyun also leaves with Sana, and you help Mina back. The rest of the girls clean up and set their sleeping areas in the living room. As you assist Mina, she asks if you could spend the night with her cuddling. You agree and get ready to spend the night.

“While cuddling Mina I start talking about our babies. Imagining what they'll be like, and saying how happy I am to be with her. I also say we should start thinking about some baby names and ask her is she has any in mind.”

Chapter 86:

As you enter Mina's room, you see that she has rearranged her room. She placed a shelf dedicated to the babies. She looks at her latest ultrasound. She has bought some gender-neutral clothes, baby books, and even headphones to put on her belly so they can listen to music. She then asks you some names for the twin girls. She gives you names like Hana, Hina, and Haru but has yet to be entirely sure of them. She asks you for your opinion.

“I tell her that those are wonderful names, I'll give her my own suggestions so we can talk about it before bed. I'd also start telling her that she's going to be a great mother.”

Chapter 87:

You compliment the names she gave you. You gave her some suggestions, and she likes some of the names you gave her. She says that she is just started looking through the name book, and she will take the two months you are gone to make her list. She goes to the closet and gets ready for bed. She comes out in a semi-transparent gown that makes her look beautiful. Due to her pregnancy, her boobs and butt have gotten bigger; her belly makes her look cute and petite. You compliment her beauty, and she gets embarrassed. She confesses that she would like to have sex with you but is too afraid that anything would hurt the babies. She looks at the ultrasound, thinking about her third child who couldn't make it. You hug her and tell her that everything will be okay and that she will be a great mother. You both go to bed, and she asks you to hold her until she falls asleep.

“I'll stroke her hair until she falls asleep. I'll look around the room at all the changes Mina made. She's put a lot of effort into redecorating, and I know that she'll put tons more effort into raising the children. Drifting off to sleep I'm glad I'll be around for their births.”

Chapter 88:

You stroke her hair until she falls asleep. See the room for all the changes Mina made. She's put a lot of effort into redecorating, and you know that she'll put tons more effort into raising the children. You think to yourself how lucky you were to have a girl like Mina in your life. The next day, you wake up to see Mina doing her daily stretches and give her a good morning kiss. As you go in through the hall you hear someone singing. You stop at jihyo's room, open the door, and see her singing a lullaby to Jisoo as she holds her in her arms and looks out the window. At that moment, you are amazed at jihyo's singing power and forget that she is a singer. You sneak up to her and give her a good morning kiss. She is surprised and tells you not to scare her like that. You agree and apologize. She asks how you feel that this is your last day before you leave tomorrow morning. You tell her that you are conflicted and want to stay, but she tells you that your job is also your responsibility and to do your best. You then head to the kitchen to see Momo, Tzuyu, and Jeongyeon trying to get breakfast ready. Then say that Chaeyoung wanted to help, but she always ends up making some weird stuff, so they sent her to set up the table instead. You laugh and Chaeyoung hears what you all said about her and does her little roar. All the members eat and bid you farewell before your trip aboard.

“As I leave I ask to hold onto Jisoo one final time. Holding her tight I tell her to be a good girl for Jihyo while I'm gone, and that I'll miss her. I kiss her forehead before giving her back to Jihyo.”

Chapter 89:

You spend the afternoon moving items from your room and office to the storage outside the house. Jeongyeon asked if they could use the office as a room when you are gone, and you agreed. After moving so many items and prices of furniture, you are tired. You package the things you are going to take aboard and drive them to the office. You are driving late and call Jihyo that you are not going to make it for dinner, you stop at a nearby shop for some ramen. When you get home, it's already 1 am, and your flight it's at 8 am, and you can barely keep your eyes open. You shower and head to sleep.

In the middle of the night, you feel a heavy presence on top of you. You try to open your eyes but feel too heavy. You have the sensation that someone is riding you but don't know if it's a dream or real. You try to figure it out by feeling them. You are 90 percent sure that it's Jihyo. The way she rides you up and down feels just like her. You leave yourself be ridden and go with the flow. At some point, you hear the moaning, and you feel that you are about to cum. Just before cumming, you feel the warmth of her pussy leaving you, and you try to bring her back. Suddenly, her pussy slams back to your groin, and you release your cum. Satisfied, you pass out and go back to sleep.

You wake up and get ready to leave. You place your luggage in the back, and just before you leave Mina, Dahyun, and Jihyo, holding Jisoo come out. You carry Jisoo for one last time and tell her to behave for mommy. You kiss Mina and kiss her belly. You hug Dahyun and whisper in her ear, "I'll miss you," and go to Jihyo. Jihyo hugs, kiss you, and hug you. You whisper in her ear, "I enjoyed last night," walk away, get in your car, and head off. As you drive off, Jihyo asks, "what did he mean last night."

“The mystery woman strikes again. Though unaware that it wasn't Jihyo I left the house to get that 2 month trip started. I would be away from the women I considered family for far too long, I needed to get time to pass quicker so I could return to them.”

[lloydfrontera]

What is your opinion on og!Lloyd? i don't know if you ever did a character analysis of him and i vaguely know the novel talks about him in some moment. I'm just curious of what you think of him

*sigh* i,,, don't,, love him,,, to be honest 😅

just... a warning. do skip this one if you like og!lloyd. cause i'm not gonna be very nice to him akjshdka

i have very little patience for characters who are mean for no reason and have no other qualities to redeem them. which is what og!lloyd is.

Lloyd Frontera, the hooligan, was a mess. His personality. Behavior. Attitude. Not a single attribute of his was worthy of praise. He destroyed himself and those around him, slacking off and behaving recklessly at any given chance. He was always preoccupied with his thoughts about the Frontera fiefdom, a boring and hideous province. He pitied his fate of being born and rotting away in such a place. And so, he was always angry. He was enraged by the lack of his family's status and his unfulfilled greed. The anger, disappointment and frustration inside the young master were taken out on everyone around him. He hurled insults at maids and physically assaulted servants. He mistreated his parents and the rest of the family. -Chapter 236

like. man a piece of shit lmao. he was born in such a favorable position considering the setting he lived in, he was a noble, he had parents that loved and supported him, he was healthy and able bodied, he had so many opportunities of making something for himself. and he didn't.

"[...] You said I will really pull myself together and study hard this time. So please believe me and make an investment. I was happy. That was why I readily gave you the money that came from selling the villa for the academy tuition. But you completely wasted every single cent with the scoundrels you used to get along with. All the while, you shamelessly played around with women and threw grimy parties in drunken stupor" -Chapter 7

it clearly wasn't that he didn't have chances to be better. he had plenty of them. imagine having a dad that loves you so much that even after years of being an arrogant, rude, violent piece of crap still has the hope that you'll get better and gives you the resources that you need to achieve that. and then you waste them in drinking and messing around. like. god.

now let's talk about julian. his younger brother.

my god.

if anyone had any right to never ever forgive or trust lloyd again in his entire life it was julian.

"[...] Each day, he threw his drunken tantrum at all people. Breaking stuff in the house was commonplace. Sometimes, he hit people and Julian wasn't an exception. Arguably, Lloyd whacked Julian the most. When Julian was young, Lloyd beat him for not doing his errands. When Julian grew older, Lloyd beat him for hovering around when he was drinking. His violence grew worse to the point that Lloyd whacked, punched, and kicked Julian for always living an upright life." -Chapter 85

Three years ago, Julian prepared to leave the Frontera fiefdom to enroll in the academy and wanted to greet his brother before leaving. After all, he was still his brother despite how much Julian hated him. But the moment he opened the door, the pungent and acrid smell of alcohol assaulted hi nose, and then came a shout, yelling at him to get out since he's sleeping. Then, a bottle of alcohol was tossed in the air and hit the wall right beside Julian's face. The smell of liquor, the rough yelling and the shattered bottle. That marked his last interaction with Lloyd three years ago before Julian left for school. Julian stroked the corner of his left eyes by habit with his hand. There was a small scar on his skin, a burrow that looked like a mole. He had gotten it that very day three years ago from the shards of the glass bottle Lloyd threw. -Chapter 89

like. let's be clear here. lloyd isn't a child. he's not even an adolescent or a teenager. he's a grown ass man. he was 25 at the start of the novel. he's 5 years older than julian. the narration tells us that lloyd physically abused julian when he was young and then as he grew older. but julian left his home when he was 18. there was no point in their relationship where julian wasn't a minor being physically and verbally harassed by his five years older brother.

the text tells us lloyd physically assaulted the servents and it also tells us that arguably the person he hit the most was julian so. we can draw conclusions on how bad the abuse got.

so... all of that it's kind of what makes me feel so uncharitable towards og!lloyd.

he was such a,,, a shitty person. he had everything going for him and instead of making the most of it he decided it wasn't enough and grew bitter and angry that he didn't have more and decided to take it out on everyone around him. people who loved him, who worked for him, who would one day depend on him, people who simply didn't deserve the way he treated them.

and for what? because he thought his family wasn't prominent enough? cause he lived in a quiet and boring place? cause he didn't have more status? he was a noble for god sake, he was born in an aristocratic family, he wouldn't have to work a single day of his life if he so wanted! he could've gone to the capital city and studied hard like his brother and made something of himself if he wanted more prominence! he could've traveled and seen other places if he didn't want to be stuck in a small barony!

but he didn't want to work hard. he wanted everything to be handed to him from birth and not move a single finger to get what he wished for.

and y'know me, i love shitty characters, i love pathetic men, i love absolute bastards who want and take and hoard but the one thing i can't stand is spoiled, lazy and entitled brats who not only refuse to work for what they want but also dare to blame and hurt others for what they lack.

add to it that he was abusive ass to his little brother and employees and you have the perfect mix for a character that i would fight in a dennys parking lot at 3 am lmao

he eventually does come to regret the way he acted, but to me it's too little too late y'know? the damage was done and he had no way to fix it. and the thing is if he hadn't been forced out of his body and made to watch as someone else took over his life he never would've changed. he would've go on to die as the same rude, violent and incompetent person he lived as.

but, for the sake of being fair, i will acknowledge that he did come to genuinely regret his actions. to realize that he had no excuse. and it is genuinely sad to see him come to terms with the fact that the person who replaced him was a better son, a better brother, a better heir and better person than he ever was. that there was a reason his parents worried and cared for the person walking around in his body now. that the person who took over his body changed completely the reputation he'd made for himself by being a hooligan.

and he did ask after his parents before going into the reincarnation gate so i guess he did care for them even if he didn't show it when he was alive. also him not asking after julian because he knows his brother is smart and he's sure he's fine on his own is kinda sweet (even if i don't think it's nearly enough to make up for all the years of abuse lol)

speaking of the reincarnation gate! at first i thought og!lloyd being reborn as suho would make me like him more but?? actually it did the contrary??? it was so weird!! i thought my feelings of "💜💖💕💞<333💗💖<<3💞💜💕💜<33" for lloyd would bleed through and soften me up to og!lloyd but nope! kinda made me even more mad at him asjkhdka because like,,, it just kinda showed that he never had any reason to act like that?? and i already knew that but making a direct comparison to lloyd in canon just made it all the more clear.

suho had so many reasons to become a terrible person. he had so many reasons to stop caring for other people and become a total asshole. to stop trying so hard and give up and just take up the vice of his choice to drown out his bitterness. and he never did. he never stopped trying, he never stopped caring, he never could bring himself to not love the people around him.

and you could argue that this is because of og!lloyds resolution to be a better person in his next life but i think that ascribing everything that suho did to that would be a disservice to suho's character. he has none of og!lloyd's memories, he has no idea that was his past life, he's his own person, formed by his own experiences and feelings and environment and to act like all he is and does is because of the regrets of his previous life is taking away the strength it took for him to take all of his pain and hurt and tragedy and decide that he wanted something better, both for himself and for his new family.

so does og!lloyd's resolution for his next play a part on suho's character? yeah, almost definitely. but i don't think it's all there is to it and it certainly does not make up for all the hurt he caused in his own life.

i'm a nurture over nature kind of person, so i tend to think of suho and og!lloyd as different characters despite the whole reincarnation thing. i fully believe it is our experiences and decisions who make us, well, us, who we are as persons, so suho having his own memories and not remembering life as og!lloyd is enough to make him his own person, shared soul or not. but ymmv and all that

so... yeah aksdjka

[mdhwrites]

Free to Play Pull Statistics Between Star Rail and Genshin

So doing my "Is HSR Predatory blog?" I found a really nice site that has graphics for pulls. Checked a couple for recent statistics but it raised a very real question. Or set of questions. So here is me showing you all that I was once interested in becoming an accountant: (All data gotten from Honkai.gg and Traveller.gg)

Oh, and I didn't count HSR's 1.0 patch because it is a SEVERE outlier to the rest and seemed unfair to include in proper analysis, especially once I chose to compare it to Genshin.

Star Rail's worst patch was 1.1 with 63 pulls Since 1.5, there has never been a patch with less than 80 pulls (all numbers given are for ftp players) The best patches were 2.0 and 2.1 at 114 pulls, but one is a new planet and the other was the one year celebration. As such, 2.6 is the highest regular patch, giving 111 thanks to The Unknowable Domain. The average passes for a patch so far in Star Rail is 89 pulls, one less than hard pity on a five star.

And for the 'Genshin Could Never' crowd, I went 13 patches back:

Its best patch is 5.0 but new continent so the other best is 4.1 at 102. Its 4.0 patch, with a new continent, had 85 pulls, which is below the average of Star Rail. Its lowest is an ABYSMAL 49 pulls for 3.7. And its average is 73 pulls per patch.

I'm not trying to shit on Genshin btw, I was just curious since they are compared to each other so often. Hope you all found this neat and have a lovely day!

(I might have tried to go further back for Genshin, just out of curiosity, but it stopped having records at 3.3 on Travellers, at least as far as I could find.)