#8255

[banyun-gong]

Sofia Paiva 麥嘉欣 @sofiavdsp

#8,255

[every-tome]

[hisclockworkservants]

SCP-8255

SCP-8255 - Pentapedal Entity (Unconfirmed) by Aleph-Null: https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-8255

[stfandomconfessions]

if byler doesn’t happen i’m gonna kill myself #cutforbyler

[ninissecret]

khalid's part is so heavenly. i ascend when i listen to it

[ladythatsmyskull]

National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

[see-arcane]

What is there to say?

I am afraid. I am angry.

For the second time this country has shamed itself and put the world in jeopardy from its example. Other monsters will be empowered and run ahead with their own nations. Now, short of a miracle which I do not hold my breath for, we must hold on for four years to see if one of Trump’s infinite ugly promises holds true—will we even get to have a presidential election in the future? Supposing we do, can we even trust that our fellow Americans won’t damn us again?

I am afraid. I am angry.

Sickness and blame boil in me. I did everything I could. I voted, I informed, I pleaded. I know that my friends have too. But the news tells me it was not just the electoral college that failed us, but the popular vote. Which tells me that we live surrounded by more ignorance and hate than I ever expected. We live in a country where eligible voters are steeped in an ideology that aligns enough with the poison of Project 2025 that it makes me fear to trust anyone—anyone—around me ever again. And it makes me wonder, in light of the turnout, how many people stayed at home and simply chose not to vote. Chose not to sully themselves with the effort of choosing the lesser evil. I am looking at you. We are all looking at you. Do you feel smart now? Do you feel superior? Do you plan to pat your back today for ‘teaching them a lesson?’ Do you have a plan to save us? To save the rest of the world from the ripple of this? Tell me you do. I’m listening.

I am afraid. I am angry.

I am not prophesizing doom. But I have a memory that goes back at least eight whole years. I understand the concepts of hindsight and foresight. I know that everything the Republicans say they wish to do to us, they mean to do, and want to do worse. That is the truth. That is who they are and what they want. I know this. I accept this as fact. The stages of grief have been cycled through before, remember? There is no denial. No bargaining. My calluses are still here. They must harden thicker now.

I am afraid. I am angry.

I am thinking, of all things, of cosmic horror. More, cosmic insignificance. I always do in the face of reality’s grandest nightmares. A useless perspective except to give scale to things. I am less than an atom in the sea of space. A fraction of a fraction of a fraction of meat and time and breath on a crumb of mud in a galaxy tucked haphazardly in a corner of an infinity of stars and darkness. My life, like all lives, is a flicker. Barely there. Death is inevitable. I must live like I know it. And to devote myself wholly to horror, even in the face of the unthinkable, is to waste the rest of what I have, what I am. Gods fall from the sky and raise their heads from the sea, and I am still here. Reading. Writing. Breathing. Thinking. Hating.

(“HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE THEM SINCE I SAW THE NEWS. THERE WERE 71,071,013 VOTES FOR HIM THIS YEAR. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH OF THOSE BALLOTS IN 8 PT FONT ON BOTH SIDES AND PRINTED AGAIN FROM THE EAST COAST TO THE WEST, IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR MY COUNTRY AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT. FOR THEM. HATE. HATE.”)

I am afraid. I am angry.

Nauseous to find that the first thing I did upon learning the results was look up suicide hotlines. Not for me—I have saved myself too long with fact: Wait long enough, death will come eventually. Do not jump ahead in line.—but for those who I know are afraid enough to overwhelm the anger, to drown out all else, and who are thinking of the next four years and who knows how much longer. I know you’re out there. I know you are looking at the pills in your cupboard, at the veins of your arm, at the black tunnel of the gun. Look away. Look here.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

TrevorLifeline: 1-866-488-7386 (for LGBTQ youth)

Trans Lifeline: 1-877-565-8860 (for the transgender community)

I am afraid. I am angry.

I am alive. Here and now, whether I like it or not. I despair for myself, for my friends, for strangers across the country and the globe who can feel the full and loathsome weight of all this election implies about those around us. Those who hold our lives in their hands and will do all they can to wring them dry in earnest. How did things turn to this? How did it all sink so low, so awful, so venomously backwards against education and empathy? How, how, how? A missing stage of the grieving process: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance, and Confused disappointment.

I am afraid. I am angry.

The morning is sunless, of course. There will be no light for another hour as I write this. But time is passing. Second by minute by hour. And each micro-instant that accrues in which I am here and myself, existing outside the red mold they want, is another moment that would anger them. To let despair crush and collapse me out of shape, out of life and its facets, is a victory I will not cede to anyone. Least of all to them. I will go on, because I must go on. I will be myself, for that is an affront to all they want from me. I will think and act and make and be for as long and fully as I can. Because fuck them.

I am afraid. I am angry.

I am not alone. I know that too, for the numbers show it. Afraid, angry. But never alone. Neither are you.

I am afraid. I am angry.

I am here. I am holding your hand.

I am afraid. I am angry.

I love you more than I fear anything.

I am afraid. I am angry.

I love you more than I hate anyone.

I am afraid. I am angry.

Let’s go.

[clericallyinsane]

𝖨𝗇𝗍𝗋𝗈 𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍:

First of all, THIS IS YOUR SIGN TO STAY ALIVE. The following link has helplines for almost every place/situation that could be found. If you need help, PLEASE get it.

Oh and don't forget to click for Palestine:

Okay, now onto the actual intro.

𝖡𝖺𝗌𝗂𝖼𝗌: (copying from my wife)

My name's Ella, I use they/she pronouns and I'm a lesbian, more specifically for my girlfriend @noihavenosanitythanksforasking; I'm nonbinary/genderqueer, more especifically influgender and genderfae!

I'm in too many fandoms and this blog is not divided at all but my main fandom is Stranger Things, specifically the byler fandom, as well as ronance;

Secondary fandoms include:

Dead Boy Detectives

Good Omens

My Babysitter's a Vampire

Agatha All Along

The Black Phone

Cobra Kai

Scorbus (although i don't engage in it as much bc of we know who)

The Aristotle and Dante books

Spiderman

Other things I like:

Monster (2023) - favorite movie of all time

Kpop (ARTMS, StayC, Enhypen, TXT are my faves)

Chucky, Nightmare on Elm and other horror movies

The Muppets and Backyardigans (yeah ik)

80s/90s gay movies in general

Bottoms

I Saw The Tv Glow

Wicked

Kamikaze Girls

Saltburn

Fear Street

𝖧𝗈𝖻𝖻𝗂𝖾𝗌:

Language learning (spanish and korean rn)

Music producing/singing/playing guitar and piano

Studying film

Drawing/making art

𝖥𝗎𝗇 𝖿𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗌:

I am the creator of bald mike;

I write fanfics on ao3, both serious and unserious, w the username gaypaladinosaur

I love halloween!!!!!!!! and christmas!

I am one of the chaos causers of the byler fandom since 2021, including all my shitposts, bald mike and lobegate;

I think that's it ty bye i love making friends!!!!!!!!!!

[babygirl-riley]

Haunted Alternative Ending

You wake up in the hospital looking over to see the only person you’d hope to see.

A/N: Alright @i-love-ghost hope this is something your mind will enjoy. This is gonna be heavy of talks of suicide, if this triggers anyone don’t have to read. And if you need help call the number above. ❤️ Know there are people who love you.

“And it’s the light that’s in the air. When your chest to chest with a lover.”

Warnings: Talks of suicide, attempt suicide, depression, sad!simon, mentions of overdose, swearing, mentions of dementia

simon x reader guide

simon x reader fluff/angst

Pt.1 Pt.2

You felt the reach of death, almost felt like a weight off your chest. The mental and physical pain gone, you were relieved. However there was nothing but darkness. Nothing that was told of being a light or after life bullshit. You heard voices, voices that would talk about pulse change or what medicine goes where.

It didn’t hit you what they were talking about until you felt something shoving down your throat. You gagged as you felt stuff coming out of you. You were dazed as you looked around to see strangers in white shirts. Concern on their faces, red and blue lights illuminated the darkness around you. “There ya go honey, stay with us. Ya alright.” The woman said soothing you as your eyes shut once more.

The next thing you knew the heart monitor woke you up as you heard the rhythmic beating. Your body felt heavy as you tried to move your arms. Fingers. You opened your eyes to shut them from the bright lights blinding you. You moaned quietly trying to feel or see anything. You moved your fingers, feeling them fumble.

Panic serged through you, where were you? No are you paralyzed are you dead? What is happening. You tried to ask for help but came out in mumbles. You heard your heart racing through your veins to your ears. You opened your eyes again widened and frightened. The lights were harsh burning them as you shut them. A groan leaving your lips.

“Y/n,” Your heart felt like stopped. That voice. That angelic voice. You opened your eyes once more and the lights that were once bright was being covered by a large figure. The mask that cover their face. You moaned softly as your eyesight cleared to see Simon. Then it hit you, you couldn’t swallow. You teared up as you grabbed his hand that was near you. He held your hand as his head snapped up, pressing a button next to you. “Stay calm sweethear’. The nurses are coming in ‘ight,”

You heard shuffling of rushing feet as everything hit you. You were connected to machines. You started to gag as the nurses push Simon away, making you panic more. It seemed like you blacked out as you could breathe normal and the nurses calmed you down.

You looked around groggily and coughed as it felt like your throat was dry. “Don’t talk hun,” The doctor said softly. “You’ve been asleep for a bit. We will get some water. Just rest.”

When the nurses and the doctor left as they talked outside the room. You looked over at Simon who stood in the corner of the room. Your lips trembled as he just stared, both of you didn’t know how to feel. You wondered A how you got here and B why he was here. Before he could say or step in the nurses were back, asking Simon to leave so they could get you checked.

It was hours before your could talk let alone do anything else. All the drugs you took made your body feel stiff. You were lucky enough to still have movement however, it was slower than normal. Doctor said to your parents that it was cause of you being asleep to the pills. Your parents stayed for a while before they said goodbye, needing to go home but be back first thing in the morning.

You were happy due to your mom crying nonstop and the guilt replaying through your veins. You looked outside to watch snow start falling. Not only your attempted but you did it near a holiday. You didn’t realize how much you were loved and it made you feel sick to think that you would leave them in that state. You thought that it was going to be peaceful once more until you heard the familiar heavy footsteps.

You looked over at the door. Simon. You inhaled deeply. “Don’t.” Your voice was hoarse but getting better as time came by.

“‘M not,” He said quietly. “May I?”

You nodded as he walked all the way in, coming towards you. He grabbed the chair to set it next to you. Both of you didn’t say anything, he was looking at his hands as you looked at the wall. “I didn’t…I didn’t mean to, I just-I just thought that no one loved me anymore.” Your voice hitched as tears welled up. “I’m so sorry I…”

Simon grabbed your hand making you look at him, his eyes having tears spilling, and looked like he had spilt some before. “No, don’t say that. Don’t say sorry. I should’ve realized you…” He stopped talking inhaling deeply. “I’m fuckin’ sorry. I-fuck I should have never kicked you out. I should have-I should have…”

You cried as you grabbed his hand and shook your head. “I never should have hit you. I crossed the line.”

Simon looked away as you heard a soft sob for a moment before he inhaled. “I deserv’ it, never should have called ya a whore. Or saying you were distant. You never did anythin’ wrong,” He mumbled shaking his head, you looked at his hands, the bruises, the dried blood around his fingers probably the habit of picking them when he got nervous. He looked at you taking his hand away and placed his finger on your cheek. “I thought ya were gone. And it kills me that it took you to almost…” He paused.

The guilt stung again making you sob. Simon stood up and leaned on you, placing his lips ontop of your head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to. I knew if I got drunk enough it wouldn’t matter and-I didn’t want to die but-I was so alone. And now I just couldn’t imagine what you and my parents would be in if it worked. I’m so-I’m so fucking sorry.”

Simon kissed your head again, he held you as you sobbed and sobbed. “I will never leave ya I promise baby. I fuckin’ promise.”

You held on to the back of his neck. You closed your eyes as you hear him whisper that he will never do this again. He will love you until the day he dies. Simon will never let you go and you know of that. You always knew that he would. It was something that both of you had to work on. God you never understood until later in life of why you were alive.

Years go by that Simon was right never has he left your side. Made sure how you were doing. As you did the same as the relationship grew stronger and stronger. He did marry you and gave you children that you both love so dear. Simon loved you every step of the way, no matter what was going on.

Simon and you sat on your front porch watching your daughter playing with your grandkids. Never you would have thought that you would be here. Here with Simon. Here with your daughters. All because of chance. Chances that you wanted to live, that you were just broken and trying to piece yourself together. Chances that your boyfriend who later turned to a husband and now a father. Chances Simon did stay with you as you stayed with him.

You will always be grateful that you are alive. Even through the darkest pain and time you were able to see this. To see your life play how you always dreamed it to be.

“Lovie?” Simon said, his wrinkles more prominent. His gray hair turning into white. You smiled at him reaching for his hand.

“Yes darling.” You responded as he grabbed yours.

“Where are we?” You tried not to frown as you looked around.

“Home baby remember?” You smiled again as you hope that he would nod in agreement.

“Who are ‘em?” He asked watching his grandchild and daughter play.

“Your daughter and grandbaby my dear.” You said looking at them watching your daughter catching on as her son played around her.

You smiled at her and nodded before turning to Simon, who nodded in confusion and looked at you. “I see.” He mumbled looking at them once more.

You grabbed gripped his hand tighter, smiling lovingly at him. You will never leave him like he never left you. Even through the hardest times, he was there and now it was your turn.

Oh how grateful you are to have another chance.

[luxiomahariel]

Remembering the victims: Ashton Clatterbuck

To those who knew him, Ashton Clatterbuck was easy to describe: A magnetic personality with a big laugh and a quick wit. A voracious reader and fast marathon runner. A sharp writer and a tireless activist who sought out injustice and called for change. “He has touched so many lives for good in his short life,” said his mother, Malinda Clatterbuck. “I cannot express how much our hearts hurt. His smile was contagious, and his positivity brought sunlight to so many hurting.” “Ash was an incredible human being who made all of our lives brighter by virtue of knowing him. May his memory be a blessing.” said Democratic state Rep. Izzy Smith Wade-El, who represents Lancaster and led the vigil. “It was very moving, just to see how many people were there, just to see how many people’s lives were touched by Ash,” said Rupp. Rupp, a transgender man who serves as music minister at Vision of Hope Metropolitan Community Church in Mountville, said it’s important for transgender people “to show up and make ourselves seen.” “He was not a tortured soul,” she said. “He was a ray of light. If he was tortured, it’s because our culture has created a world in which people like Ash are not welcome.”

https://lancasteronline.com/news/local/lancaster-mourns-death-of-ash-clatterbuck-young-transgender-man-who-called-for-love/article_1ac293ca-d81f-11ee-957f-1b8356977d8f.html

Saddened to report the death of another young person. Ashton Myles Clatterbuck recently died in the early hours of February 27, 2024 at the age of twenty-two. The cause was death by suicide. Ashton was from Lancaster County.

https://www.pghlesbian.com/2024/03/asking-why-four-young-trans-people-have-died-by-suicide-in-lancaster-pa/

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

The Trevor Project: (866) 488-7386

Trans Lifeline: (877) 565-8860

[the-one-and-only-guck]

feeling like this song at the moment

[unironiclipsyncvideosarchive]

2022-04-23

[b0n3s-is-gay]

Hi! I really enjoy your writing!! The threesome hcs were so hot 👀 If you want could you maybe write something about F!sole comforting preston about quincy? :P

We have matching wounds, ours are black and bruised...

Synopsis: Relating to Preston has never been easier than it has been when you sat down and started talking about Quincy...

Tags/CWs: Mentions of suicidal thoughts, indirect self harm mentions, fluff, angst, hurt with comfort, getting together, bonding over trauma, yes I followed dialogue.

Authors note: It's okay to not be okay. If you're feeling sad, depressed, anxious, or anything else. Don't be afraid to reach out to me. My messages are open if you need to talk. If you feel like you're about to commit suicide, please don't message me and instead call the NSPL hotline at 800-2730-8255 or text TALK to 741741. You matter, your mental health matters, and know that if nobody has said it to you today, I love you.

"General, do you have a minute?" Preston asked, his voice quiet as he stepped into your quarters. It was raining outside, the sound acting as a mask just as Preston wanted it to.

"Uhm... Sure Garvey, go ahead and close the door behind you." You said as you sat down on the couch. He nodded softly as he closed the door and then sat next to you, gently lifting his hat from his head and resting it on the coffee table. He then turned to face you, slightly nervous about what he was about to say.

"I've been thinking back lately on how things were for me when we first met... It was the lowest point of my life. I mean... all my closest friends were dead. Everything I had believed in had turned out to be a lie." Preston started, looking at you crestfallen. "I'd failed everyone who relied on me. I'd led them to Concord and we had no hope of getting out alive."

He leaned forward, his gaze shifting from your face to the ground. His mouth opened and closed for a minute before sighing, continuing on with his words. "The thing is... That was actually okay with me. I was ready to die. It was what I felt I deserved. It was what I wanted..." Preston looked up at you again, leaning against the back of the couch while you watched him with that patient expression he had grown to love.

"You don't still think that way, do you Preston?" You asked softly, reaching out a hand to cup his cheek. It was cold, just like the rain outside and just like his mood. Cold.

"No, not anymore... But I had to put on a brave face as long as there were people counting on me. That's the only reason I kept going." He replied, leaning into your warm touch. "My point in all of this is that, well... you saved my life. And not just by saving us from those raiders in Concord."

He looked up at you with his muddy brown eyes, still silently relishing in the warmth of your touch. "I mean, that you... made me want to keep living again. I guess that sounds pretty sappy, but it's true. If we hadn't met or if you just killed those raiders and taken off... I don't know if I'd still be around."

A soft frown settled on your lips, not out of anger or frustration, but sadness. Your friend, your best friend and partner in crime had been feeling these emotions and you had never known. Sure, you've known about his PTSD as he has woken up in states of panic thinking he was back in Quincy, Lexington, or Concord. "Preston-" You started before he cut you off.

"Just let me finish first..." Preston whispered as he looked at you, his eyes glossy with unshed tears. "If I'm being honest, I think I would have found some way to... you know... end it. Maybe not by shooting myself in the head or anyting, but by just not caring about staying alive." He gently grabbed your hand and just held it, fidgeting with your fingers while he talked about what was on his mind.

"So... I just want you to know that. How much our friendship has meant to me..." Those words felt like knives being plunged into his chest, but he didn't know how you'd feel if he pushed things further.

"Oh Preston..." You whispered softly gently pulling him in for a hug. "I wish you told me sooner, how you felt and that you were having thoughts about ending it... But I understand how you feel..."

Preston shifted his head so his head was on your shoulder while you hugged him and spoke to him. "When I first emerged from the Vault, from where I showed you Nate... I didn't care about life anymore. The number of times I've stared ahead, watching the wasteland creatures bite and kill, asking myself if it was worth it... There's far too many to count..." A soft sigh escaped your lips as you rubbed his back.

"But I kept going, I woke up every morning and went to sleep every night knowing I couldn't afford to die just yet. Not when I didn't know if my son was safe and alive..." You rested your head on top of his, not knowing that he was shedding tears. "So.. I guess when I first met you, joined the minutemen and all... I guess you did the same for me in some ways."

He nodded softly as he listented to you, his eyes closed as he listened to you. "But we do what we have to do, we keep living and we adapt... It's what humans do..." Your words made him smile as he looked up at you through his tears.

"You know... I think I love you..." Preston whispered as he wiped his eyes, still letting you hold onto him. "You've been with me through thick and thin. You didn't judge me when I woke up in a panic, you didn't abandon us when you saved us in Concord..."

A smile gently spread across your lips as you tilted his head up to look at you. "Of course I'm going to stand by you... I'm not going to abandon you..." You whispered as you gently kissed him.

"I'm going to make sure we're never going to be alone again, those feelings will never come back..." You whispered when you pulled away from his lips. Preston smiled back at you as you both laid back down, still holding onto each other.