#5th watch rn
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Sometimes I forget Saw (2004) is in fact not a gay romcom and is a horror film
#seriously eveytime i watch it its like ive never seen it before and have been told its a cute gay film#im slowly memorizing it tho#im on my#5th watch rn#saw#saw 2004#adam faulkner#adam stanheight#adam faulkner stanheight#lawrence gordon#chainshipping
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One of the most frustrating things about the ADHD forgetfulness is not being able to remember all the cool stuff I’ve learned. I’ll look something up, read an article or watch a video or whatever, find it super interesting…and then not be able to remember almost any of what I learned.
Even with my special interests; for example, I can watch or read my favorite show/book dozens of times, and then still not be able to answer questions about it, not be able to remember details, often not even be able to remember basic facts like episode titles or actors’ names (or hell, even BOOK titles for series - like for example, I could name SOME of the percy jackson books, but definitely not ALL of them, and DEFINITELY not in order, even though I’ve read them all like 5+ times now)
It’s SO annoying. And on bad days it makes me feel dumb or like I’m a fake fan or faking my interest. Or like I’m not ACTUALLY autistic and don’t ACTUALLY have special interests because why can’t I remember? Etc etc.
#on the bright side though it means I often find ‘new’ details to love each time i re-watch/re-read/re-learn something#like rn I’m re-reading the raven cycle books for probs the 4th or 5th time but still have no clue what’s gonna happen next most of the time#adhd#autism#audhd
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jealous buck has cured my depression
#no joke i am 100% happier then I was before watching this episode#im feeling very nov 5th (lite) rn#not that they can be compared AT ALL but yk... its the 'we were right' of it all :')#i have to go watch it again coz im pretty sure I blacked out when they kissed lmao#feelin hIGH on life. love this for us 🙌#911 abc#911 spoilers#911 fox#911#evan buck buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#ItTS HAPPENING!!??!!!?!?
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me n the girls really do be doing anything except drawing
#lmao i have a maruca wip thats made almost negative progress the last 2 days#and that is. about it.#whenever i have free time i simply choose to read or sleep.#school has been sucking the life out of me#most week days my schedule is school. watch old episodes of bb australia. sleep.#does not help that school ends at 4 and i usually get home at 5#like girl that is the entire day gone what happened to elementary school when i was getting out at like. 2.#do u think i can draw in these circumstances#wait actually! i have technically been doing art.#making a kids book for a childs lit class rn <3 its a remake of a book i made in 5th grade about a turtle named bob#putting my lifeblood into that project
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Hate when I get some time to watch TV and I know EXACTLY what I want to watch. But then remember that what I want to watch is the second season of a show that was cancelled after one season.
#Lockwood and Co is the current one#and yeah i could always rewatch the first season#except i already did that this weekend for like the 5th time#and yeah i could reread the books#except im not in a READING mood im in a WATCHING mood and also i dont physically have the books and i dont wanna read on a screen rn
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helloooo,, What tutorials do u watch for ur renders,,, I love them and want to get into rendering myself (✿◠‿◠) thank uuu! :D
Hi anon! I don't rlly watch tutorials for my renders/for rendering 🙃🙃 I've only ever watched two tutorials fully- sometimes I will watch tutorials, but I never watch them in full (or sometimes I do cuz they're like... a minute long lul)- The two tutorials I watched were the first ones I watched when getting into rendering:
This one by Plum Townie - This was the very first tutorial I watched, I remember I had to do a lot of fandangling because somethings had gone unmentioned and my baby blender brain didn't know wtf to do
and This is the second tutorial by Solitasims (stan her what a QUEEN 🙏🙏) - While Plum townie's tutorial was good, this one def clicked more with my small brain, baby blender render brain and also teaches you about scenes sort of (from what I remember anyways😭)
Those tutorials don't necessarily teach you how to pose your sim, I actually learned how to pose my sims... myself 😭 Like my first render? I used a pose. Second render? Straight into the guts and glory of making ur own poses and that's literally how I've been doing it since that render, all my poses done by me :)
I do wanna mention that I brute-force sooo much stuff cuz half the time, whatever I search for, the answers are always in blender-talk and I can't understand that 😭😭 So I just *adjust setting* Oops, *CTRL+Z*, *adjust setting* Uh oh, *CTRL+Z*, etc etc... Hence why I don't have a lot of tutorials to recommend cuz well... I just brute-force it, or I briefly search, find an answer and move on 💀 There are a couple simblr tutorials I've read but alas... I cannot remember them 🧍♂️
#holy mother of all talking 💀 srry anon it's 3:30 am. I'm super ADHD-y rn and am in the middle of making a render and wanted to answer this#but couldnt be asked to shorten it. but honestly just pay attention to the 2nd. 3rd and 5th paragraph#2nd and 3rd give you the first tuts i watched. and 5th just elaborates on why I don't have a lot of tutorials to share#yapping#Anonymous
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i can't find anything that i wanna watch and i genuinely am about to start crying....there's sooo many options but nothing feels right 😐😐
#me yapping#literally everything feels wrong rn#i keep starting shows and not finishing them bc of this#i would watch iwtv for the 4th/5th time but i might actually have a breakdown fr so 😐
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hiiii after a period of isolating I'm BACK. at least on tumblr. prepared to be sick of me, especially because I started rewatching Supernatural just in time for Nov. 5th
#the watching Supernatural had more to do with nostalgia than nov 5th but it is fortuitous#im on s4e15 rn i got castiel again just in time for his coming out anniversary
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anyone wanna come over next week and disassociate from this realty with me next week? if we're lucky we can clip into the berenstein bears universe for a few hours. i'll bring the snacks
#gonna try and distract myself with veilguard but i already know i'm going to be an anxious mess all day#it's all anyone is going to be talking about and the maga cult is out in full force rn with signs and flags everywhere cus im in a red stat#my actual county always goes blue but still my heartrate skyrockets whenever i see a red baseball cap these days#got jumpscared at the aquarium last weekend when a fam in trump merch came around the corner cus i thought they were gonna jump me#its just like covid where i was in a near constant state of fear whenever we went out to get groceries or something#not cus of the virius but cause of all the reports i kept seeing about asain's getting jumped because trump kept calling it the china virus#i was constantly looking over my shoulder when my bf and I went out because I could just tell instantly when someone was following him#the fox-newsers were not subtle when eying up my bf and trying to figure out what ethnicity he was under his mask#i kinda lost count of how many times I would yank him down another isle or lead him to the other side of the store saying I forgot somethin#it just became a normal part of going out which both depressed and upset me#but yeah kinda entering that mindset the closer we get to the 5th#i know my bf is going to want to watch the results real time but his parents will be staying with us during the election#and like his dad is a trump supporter which just kinda blows my mind because trump would not respect him at all
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modern mike and will dressing up as arthur and merlin respectively
#thinking abt them in this chiles tonight#also spoilers so hold on...........................................#.............................................................#......................................................#its been out for forever but my friend is watching it rn. so all those death scare mike things going around imagine mike and will recreating#the death scene for arthur in merlin#'just hold me' BURY ME#and then jonathan/dustin cut the cameras and everyone cheers#drama kids.... im not a theatre kid but like most if not all my friends in middle school were and i had to participate in a play in 3rd and#5th grade (required of me... i hated the gifted program)#anywas back to drama kids#el is wiping tears#byler#mike wheeler#will byers#this fits into bi mike#im liking it more and more <3#but still a gay mike lover
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scheduled my flu shot and covid booster for next weekend
#will a 5th covid vaxx even fit on my original card hhhhhhh#havent looked at it since my last one tbh#anyway the only reason I'm comprehensible rn is bc i havent watched the new ghosts season yet :)#gonna start tonight after work and after i make some progress with my coursework#mia posts a thing#i usually get my flu shot in september but uhhh circumstances and scheduling made that not possible
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yk the context of that pic was they were a trio ofc those two guys were closer more intimate like almost boyfriends but she was their best friend and all three of them together went through a lot of trauma at young age and the black haired guy he fell into depression chose unhealthy coping mechanism and after he left the white haired dude was like "my one and only friend died" or he went from "we are the strongest to I am the strongest" to i am alone and she was like but I was there???? for both of you between both of you, wdym you were alone and you could've talked to me, we were going through the same friendship heartbreak wdym you were alone??? it's ahhhhhhh I am analyse them so much but as much i love them both she deserved so much better SHE WAS THERE
that's so sad ahh i never thought about the other side of the story the other person how would they feel 😭
#aahhh this reminds me of my bestfriend when i finally told her about me dating and breaking up and parental trauma which has been going on#since like 5th std and we became bestfriends in 6th and she was like how could you not tell me am i not your bestfriend i tell everything#to you#i love her fr will go tell her this rn#also you've convinced me i will watch jjk 😭#vio love
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aww its kinda cute finding me complaining abt my dads whole lisa thing from 2017. honestly so overshadowed by everything else and also i was so annoying when i was 12 aw .
#did not realize how many of my journal posts r just vents and it all looks so silly now RJRBJFBFNG aw hun. its so funny that i was#complaining abt my mom treating me like a therapist in 2017. <- his ass did notttt know. its like watching a guy standing on the train#tracks and complaining about a car driving past.#sry . i ended up on quotev just 2 look. ive never actually looked at my like activity feed very much whenever i go back but its funny bc it#rly is a more accurate glimpse into whateve was going on for miss kami (my quotev nickname).... like yasss. you hate your dads girlfriend#and her kids that is a nice problem to have#its also embarassing bc like my ex gf is just all around in here . i made a vent post like I get it im not enough and i dont matter and im#just a tool for you to use 😡😡😡 and she commented “yesss tell the world”. SO FUNNY?#and i found her being excited abt our 5 month anniversary#delightfully 12 year old activity. i do not like her very much at all and idt i ever actualy loved her#not in a bitchy way in a like. i literally questioned if i was aroace the entire time we were dating#she asked me out with a little note passed in class like circle y/n and i literally thought to myself Hm well i guess i dont have anything#going on. and circled yes. which is so funny. hun?#anyways. that all imploded bc we were 11 its whatever.#sigh. its just nice to remember the little problems i had. like obviously all this is after my dad choked me out in public and threw my dog#and etc but its still technically the beforetimes. yk. and ik the zoo isnt rly the most pressing of my things that have happened to me#anymore but its still like. Big. yk. even if i mostly just have to Be fine about it now or else everyone will think im being an awful piec#of shit asshole for still being upset. Ok sorry#also when i call my 12 yesr old self snnoying i mean it in an loving way like. its only right to be kind of annoying when youre 12 yk...#and also 12 year old kamille is Not here rn so i can be a little playfully mean to her. bc shes such a 12 year old#idk i just struggle a lot bc i am so like. far removed from everything that happened atp were on like 4th or 5th generation post that#and i struggle to put myself in That kamilles shoes and remember she was a kid yk. like obviously ik i was a kid ik i didnt deserve that#but when i try to like. put myself back in the situation and try to force myself to remember that exact day (dont do this btw . it does not#go well LOL) but i always like. i try to rebuild the events from the ground up but im not Kamille age 12 im me. witnessing everything#i wont ever be able to remember it How it acrually was i couldnt even fully remember it like a week after the fact yk. itis what itis#sorry i should prolly tag this i rambleddddd#a2t#child abuse#implied but we#animal abuse
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Idk how to explain it but the whole yn thing irks me so bad like. Even when it’s something that has racial connotations like the word ghetto or ratchet it’s all connotative and ig. Even tho it SHOULDNT be extended towards nonblacks in a way there’s still that illusion of ‘well we could be talking about anybody’ but the whole yn is literally saying ‘young black CHILD! BOY! TEENAGER!’ (Bc y’all forget) and having an entire set of racist stereotypes on that alone. Like ur literally saying I think this this and this about you on the basis that you’re Black and young idk it’s weird.
#nonblacks tbh don’t even read most of this#half joke or whatever but like#yknow.#it bothers me#and It’s like other black ppl saying ‘watch out for the yns’ little do you know YOURE the young nigga to ALL of them#if you’re not young then you’re an old nigga#like guys Can we be serious#IK ppl ignore the nuance behind the reclamation of the n word#but do we Not remember when black ppl would say you’re not a man you’re a nigga#or even hard r it#like don’t be a nigga be a proud strong member of society#this is giving that kind of#like You’re making a distinction that exists to nobody but yourself and hurting ur entire community in the process#well for the yn specifically I have complicated thoughts on the n word but like.#Im venting rn and those are noooot for online convos like idk#nobody really follows me but I got an anon over arcane so I don’t need to invite that into my life#omg i just realized I’ve been on tumblr forever and this is like my 5th account#y’all don’t get the context#i faced a lot of true vile racist vitriol a few years back#like someone tried to dox me and then quote Bob marley at me when I said white ppl don’t face racism im so deadass#is this why ppl think i make shit up like no I’m relatively young but I’ve been here longer than I should’ve and I’ve seen all that shit I’m#talking about#and Im only specifying that as like. the racism is not new and I feel like so many yt ppl just now seeing it act like it’s new#but ur fandom moms were calling black 14 year olds slaves over klance#It’s weird
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I HAVE BEEN SUMMONED 🗣️🗣️
SONGBIRD FIRST WIN YAYY ‼️‼️ I agree yushi and riku carried in the encore stage everyone else did so well toooo. Ryo has such a good voiceee. I hope jaehee takes care of his voice too, he still did amazing though!!! ALSO YES there's like a significant lack of jaehee stans I feel like he isn't getting enough appreciation people need to understand that he's the main vocal of an SM GROUP 🔥🔥 that alone should be indicative of how good he is. And also he trained for literally 3 months without any prior vocal lessons you're telling me someone can sing a RUN LIKE THE ONE IN SONGBIRD WITH THREE MONTHS OF TRAINING??? insane.
I'm lowkey riku biased, but we love and appreciate jaehee here (along with all the members!! they're all amazing!!)
ALSO. I DIDN'T KNOW THIS. BUT THEIR DEBUT SONG GOT. TWO?? WINS?? I feel so fake rn I thought Wish hadn't gotten any wins so this technically isn't their first win it's their third 🥳🥳 (I think)
-🪿
KJSDKFS I SUMMONED YOU YAY SKDJKS MWAHAHHAA
RYO'S VOICE IS FR SO STRONG AND OVERLOOKED AS WELL <33 yeah ☹️☹️☹️ i feel like he was prob just very nervous cause during the survival show too he was always so nervous to perform on stage, he barely had training time either :( YES LIKE WHERE ARE PPL TO APPRECIATE HIM 👹 exactly like 3 months is insane for the amount of incredible runs he does not to mention covers like when they cover other nct songs he is SINGING
YES RIKU!!! hes my number 1 wrecker rn i wanna write some more fics for him 👹
NAUR WHY DIDNT I KNOW EITHER LIKE BYE 💀💀💀 BUT LIKE SLAY AS THEY SHOULD WISH WAS SUPERIOR DEBUT!!!
#﹒inbox 𓈃 ⵌ#﹒🪿 anon 𓈃 ⵌ#wait no cause now i need to go watch their other encore stages#i wanna see their vocals#cause like im trying to see who the strongest 5th gen live vocals are lmao#rn between bonedo and tws i think#strong on tws they're prob the most stable live
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drunk me can do anything. i believe in her.
#i just found the exact documentary my 5th grade teacher had us watch for 2 weeks straight about the civil war bc my friend randomly#mentioned it#i found it bitch it’s $6.99 rn on youtube 😤 let’s watch it
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