#no joke i am 100% happier then I was before watching this episode

[perfectthewayyouare]

jealous buck has cured my depression

[genlossneg]

ok. i didnt mind genloss, it was ranboos first massive project, theyre only 19 and a streamer, ok. but oh my god would it kill to take an improv class. the first 2 episodes felt like an snl skit. especially when it was branded as original and then was just some sort of frankenstein of different horror tropes from ranboos favourite horror media, that just reminded me of snl stealing joel havers skit lmao.

there were so much issues with it and i feel like i wouldnt mind as much if it was branded as a horror comedy a few months before the show, not 3 days before the show. a few months before and the weeks leading up to may 24th, it was branded as "you arent ready for this. this is groundbreaking, nothing will ever be the same after this show. this is serious." etc and then i think it was like 3 days before may 24th there was that fucking showfall media psa that just felt like ranboo saying "oh btw its a comedy" without warning it caught me so off gaurd lmao.

then he streamed after that sfm psa released and, if i remember right, people were asking about it being a horror comedy in chat and ranboo was like "well yeah obviously did u think id make a project 100% serious? no lol" (dont quote me on that though its been a while) now theyre saying gen 0 and gen 2 are going to be completely horror now, but i dont think thats true bc they also said gen 1 was mostly horror and none of it is

speaking of, the advertising was just lies lol. the whole "little to no filler :D" thing. it wasnt like ranboo didnt expect the improv to last that long bc the expected runtimes (from their tumblr post on may 23rd i think) were sometimes longer than the actual ones. 1st ep was meant to be 1-2 hours, it was 1 and a half, so that much filler and standing around going "what the hell man" was PLANNED. they just lied about no filler to make people excited. just be funny and i wont mind the filler. i like sneegs humour in his streams but here he was just bickering with ranboo. same with ranboo to charlie, charlie was the only one making actual jokes so when ranboo and sneeg were alone it was just "wait so why didnt you just-" "well idk i thought u woul-" "well why would i-" and when i tell you it drained my soul.

ive been a massive ranboo fan for about a year (im recovering dw), and after the game theory episode i got really hyperfixated on genloss (up until the sfm keynote thing i think). i was hyped for it back when T_1 was the only thing released for genloss, and followed it all the way up to the streams. i watched them live and my face was just like 😐 I WAS SO DISSAPPOINTED LMAOOO

the box being 18k pissed me off so much bc an experienced filmmaker/writer/director could make something so much better than genloss with just that 18k. i aspire to make my own live action thing one day, and like, hearing them go "oh yeah the box was 18k and jermas face prosthetics were 10k teehee🤪🤪" was just. AAAAA. and the thing is, like the prosthetics were funny, but spending TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS as a BIT from jerma going "what if i took off the mask and it just doesnt look like me lol" then framing urself as jesus christ and a victim. i am so mad.

idk how to feel about ranboo anymore, i used to watch like every 2nd stream for a while but then the whole "GUYS BUY MY MERCH also racism bad MERCH!!!!! BUY!!!!" thing made me rethink lol. the racist and misogynistic undertones in genloss made me so uncomfy, and while im not poc so i cant speak on that, i have enough sense to know that having the only poc in the entire show play evil rats is so tone deaf.

and niki!! i was worried when the teasers were coming out bc every single person shown in it was a white guy (and a white enby), so i was kind of happier when niki showed up, but then she died within the hour to "commentate on misogyny in media". ranboo thought that he was commentating on misogyny by contributing to it. did they think this through at all. i would have LOVED if they did something special with niki and something powerful, but all that happened was she showed up, cried, then died and now ranboo fans are going "ranboo was so real for this!!!". ik niki had control over her characters writing but im sure ranboo was the one who decided when certain characters died and stuff.

also i hate to say this but the mask flashing to signify if he was in control or not was EXACTLY like a thing in the undertale fanfic (sfw im not weird) i wrote when i was 12 💀💀the characters eyes would flash when they were under control bc edgy. it was so weird watching genloss with that in the back of my mind 💀💀💀💀

in conlusion, genloss had so many flaws and so much easy fixes that it just feels so sososososososo rushed. another year in the oven wouldve been ok i think.

woah this is long im so sorry i do not think only type oops

- the i feel like i should label what kind of anon i am lmao anon

sorry before i get to anything else the undertale bit caught me so off guard omg.

anyways.

it wasnt like ranboo didnt expect the improv to last that long bc the expected runtimes (from their tumblr post on may 23rd i think) were sometimes longer than the actual ones. 1st ep was meant to be 1-2 hours, it was 1 and a half, so that much filler and standing around going "what the hell man" was PLANNED.

this!! the way the second stream just.. dragged was so rough.

the poc/women diversity discussion is something we had on the blog a bit ago as im sure you've seen so i don't have a ton to add but. yeah there were certainly choices that got made there.

very much enjoying all the essays getting dropped in here (even if i feel like my responses are weak sometimes lmao)

[gimme-a-thrust]

HC of like, Asmodeus and Fizzarolli as chill and mundane outside of the stage. They're hyper, sassy, and brilliant in front of an audience, they have to rehearse their parts and adjust to unexpected occurrences. When they meet their fans, they have to play their respective personas.

But when the curtains are closed and the lights are shut down, they settle down and change to comfortable baggy clothes. Asmodeus settles with a cotton bedrobe, typing away on his laptop, and Fizzarolli just. slumps in a mess of blankets and messes with his cellphone.

Sorry if this ask is too long and a bit weird, I understand if you don't publish it or answer it. Thank you!

-Aroace Fizzarolli Anon

Hello again, Nonny! No need to worry about long asks, I adore them! Also my definition of ‘weird’ and yours seems to be wildly different, so no need to worry!! I have 100% received weirder asks than this that I have replied to.

At any rate, this is an interesting thought, and while I am absolutely uncertain if you want me to expand on this, I kind of thought I’d add a few of my own thoughts. Let me know somehow if you’d be okay if I tossed my OCs into some of these, because I have ideas that would involve them. I have a few that are close to Ozzie (body guard and two employees).

As part of my personal hcs, Ozzie’s house is very boxy on the outside. Smaller squares and tall rectangles, mostly, with flat tops. The highest point, on the tallest rectangular ‘tower’, if you will, has a large sort of Party Area with hedging and a grand arch of flowers and the like. Up there, he has a garden that he tends very carefully and will grouse to Fizz over their breakfast when he goes up and something has been picking at his plants. His vegetables and fruits are all heart shaped due to personal aesthetic reasons and he grows them all very purposefully.

Fizzarolli has his own bedroom in the basement that he mostly doesn’t use because he’s always in Ozzie’s room with him. He has somewhat converted his room into a space for his hobby of rat husbandry.

They have a small selection of friends that they trust not to have to put their personas on around, and they will occasionally do game nights. Board games, usually, as an attempt at cutting screen time. Fizzarolli has never lost a game of Mouse Trap, and Ozzie somehow always manages to win Uno and Yahtzee. Neither of them are great at Scrabble.

Ozzie sometimes teases Fizzarolli for not being able to use their coffee maker. Fizzarolli takes it because he knows he is absolutely doing it on purpose.

Whenever they have to wake up early for other types of business (Ozzie’s factory, various marketing things, any time Mammon needs them for an endeavor or Belphegor needs Ozzie), Ozzie takes the longest to wake up, but Fizzarolli is very grumpy. He dislikes being woken up before 4p unless it’s for “good reason,” and business is not good enough. 

Sometimes they watch nature documentaries on mute and will do their best Announcer Voices to the different scenes. Fizzarolli usually goes out of his way to make Ozzie laugh, and Ozzie tends to amuse them both by making sex jokes about the most ordinary scenes.

Whenever they get invested in a TV series, they have to wait until the season is done because Fizzarolli makes waiting for the next episode into the worst kind of Living Hell. He always complains about waiting but they end up binging the season together afterwards and it makes him happier.

Expanding on the last point: This does not count for dating reality TV or gossip things like TMZ. Those they eat up like candy and Ozzie usually has them watching one every night of the week. Typically, they avoid the gossip ones if either of them are mentioned, and Ozzie will change the channel when he gets bored.

Because he was never allowed to rest much when he was a kid or working for Mammon, Fizzarolli takes literally any opportunity to lay around and do nothing. Ozzie doesn’t mind spoiling him, either carrying him around (or wearing him as a scarf), bringing him things, or doing things for him.

[dreamii-yume]

New Episode Update Let’s GOO!!!

Warning : This is just Yume having a mental breakdown, seriously. This episode update was WHACK.

~ MAJOR SPOILERS FOR 68-75 ~

I know we ain’t participating and all but the game reminding you that there’s 10 minutes left to prepare is seriously bad for my heart.

Aah, shiet. Vil is still hurt.

He still has small wounds and scratches that he hid make up. Daddy, I’m worried.

Apparently, yeah, I’m not the only one cause my homeboy, Epel just asked to switch the center role with Vil. THE CONFIDENCE.

Aw, he’s worried about him falling over during stage (And make the performance look bad) Come on, Epel just be honest-

...He finally became the ideal poisoned apple that Vil wanted, huh?

Vil being proud a mom.

But the queen inside him is STRONG.

He’ll embrace the villain in him, OUR QUEEN CAN STILL GO. INJURED, WHO?

...AAND he proceeds to roast Epel again lol Typical Vil.

I love how Epel just accepted a nickname like “Doku Ringo-chan” lol It’s so cute, senior-junior relationship goals right there.

HERE WE GO.

Everyone is actually really confident hahaha

I really wish Deuce’s mom, Ace’s brother, Jamil’s sister, and Vil’s dad were here in person to watch.

HECK I WANT KALIM’S WHOLE FAMILY HERE WHY NOT

T-THEY’RE REALLY LETTING US HEAR THE FULL SONG. 

IS THAT JAMIL RAPPING.

Look at Jamil’s solo SD dancing. LOOK AT IT.

I really fucking love Vil’s singing voice aaa

HIS VOICE IS SO GOOD.

Album when disney.

Is Vil okay.

...aight im hearing some high quality panting here

...dont mind me listening to it a bit too much...

...they’re going to be great reference for some spicy- leave me alone

Vil panting is making me feel SOMETHING.

ANYWAY. THE CROWD IS A MOOD.

IS VIL OKAY.

Unmei no megami is giving me idia ptsd here.

Heartslabyul Senpais are watching their kids, looking all proud *sniff

Oh god, after playing Obey Me, it just occurred to me how similar Cater and Asmodeus’ voices are...

Watch these Senpai dorks act like Ace and Deuce’s second family. Trey being the dad, Riddle being the mom, and Cater being the supportive big bro. It’s so beautiful.

Riddle’s voice is a lot more softer now, I just realized...It’s so soothing...

God i miss u too octavinelle never change

Yeah, why tf did Floyd not audition for this

Bro, can you imagine Nobuhiko Okamoto in the squad as well??? IMAGINE-

Of course, he wasn’t in the mood back then. Of course. Why did i even ask.

IMAGINE FLOYD BEING IN VDC NEXT YEAR.

Omg i miss u too octavinelle never change

Azul’s gonna overblot again with Floyd’s marketing skills lol

Jade coming in like welp i guess thats that. Too bad, huh Azul?

GOD i miss u too octavinelle never change

SAVANA BITCHES HI

I wonder if these mfs knew that Vil just overblotted and malmal was the one who fixed the stage lol

oooh Leona’s sus about something he a sharp boi

Speak up my guy—

still so weird leona taking his job seriously

Malleus looking happier seeing this performance rather than Lilia’s lol

I miss the simpery in Sebek

Silver’s not in the verge of falling into a coma for once wow

Chenya’s so cute.

AND WE’RE BACK TO CUTE HEIGH HO TEAM

fcking shotacons man...im not one to talk

Aw, they didn’t show Neige performance...

The simping in the crowd is a MASSIVE mood.

WHO WINS TELL ME

These night raven fuckers better vote for us and not pull a “oh shie my hand slipped lololol” i swear to god- im gonna throw hands

*me holding my phone and pretending to vote as well

Suspense music intensifies be like-

HAAA

BOIS, ITS ONE VOTE DIFFERENCE WHO IS IT AAAA

WHAT.

HOW DARE- HOW!? HOW DID WE LOSE!?

WE LOST BY ONE VOTE!?

EVERYONE’S SO SHOCKED LOL

vil pls dont overblot again-

Noooo grim’s tuna cans-

WE REALLY LOST TO A LEGIT KIDS SONG.

These children do not have the right to be this cute. I wanna take Timmy, Toby, and Shelpie home.

I swear to god one of these dwarves sounds like Cheka lol Is it Toby?

EPEEELLLL DONT CRRYYYY

KALIMMMM DONT CRRYYYY

KALIM HAVING THE AUDACITY TO SOUNDING LIKE A BIG BROTHER AND THEN CRYING HIS OWN RIGHT AFTER LOLOLOL

I HATE THIS EPISODE YALL MADE MY TWO BOIS CRY IM FIGHTING THIS EPISODE. BURN THIS.

This background music too though im deeeeddd

KALIM IM SO SORRY FOR MAKING A SINFIC ABOUT YOU PLS DONT CRY-

Jamil impressed about Vil being “calm” and Vil just going “h e h. you dont even know.”

....ha...

Monsieur Rook. WHAT did you say.

ROOK VOTED FOR ROYAL SWORD. Are you kidding me. You snek how could you- i loved you

WHAT DID I SAY- Ya’ll night raven fuckers shall not slip by their fingers when voting rook.

Vil is in the brink of passing out aaaaa

I have never heard Ace this pissed before whoa- lol he sounds like Deuce in his delinquent mode

Aw...Rook felt that Neige’s performance carries a stronger bond than theirs :’( it’s hard to put the blame on him when he’s saying all these stuff

It’s just like what they said in the past episodes that it’s really hard voting for your own team when you know the opposing team is better.

Aww...He just wanted Vil to believe in himself more...Rook is such a best man. Im crying-

Oh noooo is Vil gonna cry too nooo- daddy turned to baby really quick SOMEONE GIVE HIM AN EMERGENCY HUG

Well- at least...at least the 100 year record of not being able to win is still going, yeah? Um...bad joke? Sorry, i’ll see myself out-

NEIGE NOT NOW AND YOUR VII-KUN BULLSHIT- we’re having a moment here

Neige is such sweetheart but aaaahh— This makes it worse, we can’t even hate him aaa—

OMG JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THINGS COULDN’T- AAAAA

MONSIEUR ROOK. YOU’RE A FAN OF NEIGE!?

MOTHERFUCKER just got exposed by Neige himself lol

Going to Neige’s shake hand events, sending him letters, buying all his merch and shie- HE’S A FULL BLOWN NEIGE STAN

WTF YOU SNEK GET OUT OF THIS SCHOOL-

OOOOHHH THAT FUCKING ALBUM- HIS “LIFE’S WORK” or whatever bullshit IS FULL OF NEIGE

...actually- my japanese is lacking- im not sure lol what is a ブロマイド??? Lol I feel like a clown.

Rook is sweating profusely LOL

...what do you have to say for yourself, monsieur rook.

Wait- huh is that-

IS HE GONNA CRY-

WHY IS EVERYONE CRYING!??!?!?!

HE’S SILENTLY CRYING AS HE INTRODUCED HIMSELF TO NEIGE WHAT. THE. FUCK IS THIS EPISODE.

Neige fanclub??? Eternal Snow??? What kind of creepy-ass- OH, HE EVEN HAS A MEMBERSHIP NUMBER TOO-

Props to Neige with his :) expression unfaltering.

I’m- I’m speechless.

Vil is just looking down at Rook in disappointment like- “you’re more pathetic than I am”

Queen just went “I think you need this handkerchief more than I do now” THAT’S RIGHT. REPENT MOTHERFUCKER.

Rook crying is cursed.

But damn, I’m kinda liking this new relationship this bitchy relationship they have

Neige just dragged everyone’s ass back on stage and his snow white energy just said “LETS ALL BE FRIENDS AND SING”

NEIGE IS FUCKING GREAT- HE REALLY DID GOT THESE BITCHES TO SING HEIGH HO LOL

ACE’S RELUCTANT SINGING AND DEUCE LOOKING LIKE HE’S HAVING FUN

KALIM IS SUCH A MOOD, SINGING EVEN WITHOUT KNOWING THE LYRICS AND JAMIL JUST HAVING THAT “i want to die” ENERGY

AIGHT. ROOK IS HAVING WAY TOO MUCH FUN AND EPEL IS TRYING HIS BEST. HE’S SO CUTE-

OMG NEIGE AND VIL HAVING SUCH GOOD HARMONY—

YAHOO Y A H O O TANOSHIINDA~~ 

YA’LL SURE ABOUT GIVING ME THIS BLESSED MOMENT??

What a somewhat happy ending, even though Rook just backstabbed us I’m crying Beauté 100 points!!!

LOL Vil realizing he’s having fun singing with Neige- “SOMEONE JUST END ME RIGHT NOW-“ The desperation in his voice-

I love how Neige’s yahoo yahoo is messing with everyone’s head, even Vil wants to pass out lol

haha Crowley is so depressed lol

WHA- WHO-

HEADMASTER OF ROYAL SWORD!?

He looks like your typical grandpa- and his outfit looks like that one mickey mouse wizard outfit but blue—

Old man just went “we won lol” just to piss Crowley off I like this guy’s energy already-

Crowley being most likely as old as this guy—

ooohh this man just sensed something in this stage- Leona did too, didn’t he???

* Damn. Crowley talking so fast sounds like he’s making a load of bullshit lol

Anyway, I’m just glad that it’s not mickey mouse who’s the headmaster— I would’ve lost my shit.

We’re back in our dorms and I forgot that the squad doesn’t live with us anymore. It’s suddenly so lonely now...

Grim is getting the yahoo yahoo ptsd too lol it’s too goddamn catchy

oooohh shiet- mickey is calling us again

YES we finally got a good picture of this motherfucker

It seems like nothing is disrupting our communication this time, so MC thought to call Grim but—

Grim is not here.

Uuhhh...Grim? Where you’ve gone??? We’re getting flashbacks of the first parts of the game.

We went out to find Grim and HE’S CHOMPING ON ANOTHER BLACK STONE ON THE STAGE-

GRIM SPIT THAT OUT YOU LOOK TERRIFYING

AAAAAHH GRIM HAS GONE FERAL— He’s attacking US

Is this because we didn’t win his tuna canss nooo

NoOO SWEET BABY COME BACK.

Legit I’m sad, please baby don’t overblot like this...

He learned a new move though- SCRATCH

Ooh— We’re seeing some Ignihyde scenes here~

P U H I H I

Idia getting a lot of emails from bigshot companies whoa—

THAT OLYMPUS—?! EXCUSE ME??? Ortho what- Are we finally getting that Hercules episode—

Damn getting a hot chance in olympus only to put them down the recycling bin oof— Idia why edit : Yume was informed that olympus is kind of a company that sponsored VDC sorry she was mind-fucked at this moment and the ability to understand proper Japanese just went whoosh lol Thanks to @starshiningsirius for pointing it out for Yume~ ♥︎ HONESTLY YUME’S JUST GONNA WAIT FOR ACTUAL PROFESSIONAL TRANSLATORS AT THIS POINT LOL Don’t trust me for important situation too much lol

Aaaahh...We’re getting this shut-in out of his room in the next episode, are we?

And that concludes the whole Pomefiore Episode! JESUS CHRIST 75 CHAPTERS ALL IN ALL!? How long is the Ignihyde chapter going to be, huh!?

This was a really, really fun episode lol I’d consider this a fan service episode actually cause of all the things we get to experience— The singing, dancing, and the new songs, THE DRAMA. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

But then, the plot thickens, no? What’s going to happen to Grim? In the Ignihyde episode? And those reoccurring memories of us? And our relationship with Tsunotarou lol ALSO WE NEVER REALLY DID FIND OUT WHAT ROOK’S UNIQUE MAGIC IS. DISNEY EXPLAIN—

Thanks for reading this shitpost of Yume losing her shiet lol See you all in the Ignihyde Episode~ ❤

[paperclipninja]

Younger post-ep ramble 7x01

I joked in my finale ramble at the end of season 6 that the episode was called ‘Forever’ because that’s how long it would feel between seasons...well joke's on me because now, after 587 days, we are FINALLY here. The Younger drought has been a tough one, but we have been generously compensated by getting the first four episodes all at once, which is both exciting and also, turns out, incredibly overwhelming. As usual the thoughts and feelings are many, mostly feelings (read: I am NOT ok) but let’s start off with a delve into the premiere episode, ‘A Decent Proposal’.

The episode picks up within minutes of where the season 6 finale left off, with Diana and Enzo not wasting any time to hot foot it out of their wedding reception and into their happily ever after (Arrivederci bitches!). Of course I’m very happy for Diana and her happiness but there’s only one couple’s happiness that I am on tenterhooks about now that Diva is sorted and that is Charles and Liza, as they watch their sprinklers fizzle out in some sort of awkward, symbolic, anti-climax. 

You may recall that mere moments earlier, Charles had popped the question on the dancefloor before the two were separated by an obligatory conga line, and Charles quickly assumes that Liza’s lack of enthusiasm to shout her answer across the reception of another person’s wedding is an answer in itself. As anyone who has read my rambles before knows, I unapologetically fly the Team Charles flag, and let me tell you, despite her supreme stalling techniques (you’re not divorced yet, we should probably speak to the children blah blah), hearing Liza say, ‘my answer is, I love you’, my jaw hit the floor. I’m sorry, did Liza Miller just declare her feelings openly and directly and with absolute certainty??? We’re 33 seconds into the new season and I AM SHOOKETH DARREN. 

Speaking of declaring feelings openly and directly, I love absolutely everything about this opening scene. The music choice was perfect and really helped build the moment, as Charles told Liza he understands her hesitation before un-asking her to marry him (so that when the she’s made her mind she can pop the question - I kid you not, this has always been my dream...). The music cutting out and just hearing the crickets as Liza asks if he’s really withdrawing the proposal, his quip about her having to make the next move, assuming he’s still on the market (I love/hate this foreshadowing btw), it is Charles/Liza banter at its best and my sappy heart was soaking up every morsel. Throw in some CGI fireworks and the observation that they are sign (which may or may not play out at a later date) and you have yourself a pretty darn near perfect start to Younger’s final season.

Speaking of talking openly and directly, one of the staples of the Youngerverse, the Maggie morning debrief, is back as our way to gain insight into the thoughts, feelings and ponderings of Liza. Straight off the bat I am very pleased that Maggie has fully committed to ‘Chaz’ for Charles and I’m even happier that we actually hear these two talking about what’s going on because honestly, the last couple of seasons the Maggie/Liza convos, which we traditionally rely on heavily to know where Liza is at and to hear Maggie’s sage/sometimes terrible advice, have been skimmed over or felt rushed. We are also reminded that Liza has indeed seen Charles’ goods (the Empiriconda, she’s meaning the Empiriconda) and that the sex is hot, because we need to have all the information on top of the declarations of love to highlight how their relationship is pretty much perfect so that what transpires is even more painful.

Other things that are painful include the fact that Diana will be decidedly absent for most of the season (to be fair scheduling/covid are pretty legit reasons and in ep 1 we can chalk that up to her honeymoon, so more lamenting on that later), but early on it provides some pretty fab Lauren Diva-worshiping. Donning a baroque print Moschino suit that would’ve made Fran Fine jealous, Lauren is clearly distracted by the responsibility of her interim role at Empirical, as her mother frets about the theme for her 30th birthday party over face-time.

Keeping up the chaotic energy, we also discover that Kelsey has to go and let Quinn know she no longer needs her money (these characters’ ongoing relationship with the woman who has tried to ruin all of them at some point really needs unpacking with a good therapist at this stage) and Josh is in full frantic dad mode because he thinks Clare is trying to kidnap Gemma (lol that Lauren straight up calls her out on it later). Two quick points here:1) love seeing this side of Josh and 2) love Kelsey’s calm, measured reassurance that of course Clare would want her family to meet Gemma. I will say though, Josh meeting Rob for the first time when he’s about to go with Clare and Gemma to Ireland and hearing this guy he doesn’t know from a bar of soap exclaim, ‘I’m just in love with your daughter’ was super unfair. Not cool Clare, not cool. 

Kelsey keeps her cool as she breaks the news of her change of heart to our fave resident villain, who comes complete with a bowl of fortune cookies she ominously encourages Kelsey to consult while also enjoying her own fortune, ‘a new love will come into your life’. It’s all very OTT and ridiculous in it’s obvious foreshadowing and I am here for every minute of it because I sincerely love to hate Quinn very much.

My love of all things over the top is further fed by Lauren entering Diana’s office and making her way to the desk - the music, the way Lauren looks at the framed picture of Diana and Enzo before relegating it to the drawer, any moment I was expecting her to utter ‘my precious’ as she became more and more entranced by the power of the neckwear, before Liza abruptly broke the spell by asking what she was doing and warned her off her consideration of claiming Diana’s office as her own. Very much appreciated the continuity later in the episode when Liza is very distressed that Lauren has gone full-Trout with the chunky baubled ornament around her neck, though Lauren is less Invasion of the Body Snatchers and more Nancy Drew at this point, as she has caught wind of Charles’ proposal while reviewing video footage from Diana’s wedding which she decided, for some reason, to show Josh, who was ‘still not interested’ (we hear your words Josh but your face says otherwise). I am very on board the Liza/Lauren dynamic and their ‘circle of trust’ as Liza asks that Lauren keep the proposal to herself (we really haven’t seen the friendship between these two much) and Liza’s gratitude, ‘Thank you...Di-va’, is hilarious, as is the response, ‘my pleasure, Queen’.

We get many fine moments in the office this ep, the first meeting when there are formal announcements and speeches made welcoming Kelsey back...to a conference room of Charles, Liza, Lauren and a random guy we’ve never seen or heard from before and never will again it seems. It makes me laugh that every person in the room except the dude we’ll never know already knows everything but hey, formality is important I guess? The pitch for ‘Little Women in Space’ by an author played by an actress who is friends IRL with Sutton Foster and they were in the musical Little Women together is honestly too much but also just the right amount and this show does meta so well (not to mention Lauren’s excited outburst upon realising her party theme plus her making sure Liza knows that she knows about the proposal. Subtle as a sledgehammer is our Lauren). 

One not-so-fine moment is the extremely out of left field resignation of Zane followed by the completely douchey moment of him breaking up with Kelsey via face-time with the line, ‘I love you Kelsey, take care’. I’m sorry, what?? On the one hand, I get it that CMD wasn’t available for the season so in some respects better to deal with it swiftly and move on, but it was very abrupt and strange. I had zero investment in the pairing so it doesn’t overly affect my viewing, but any fans out there shipping those two, are you ok? Because that was a brutal way for a pairing to simply cease to exist.

So we have I love yous being thrown around by Kelsey and Zane as they break up because that makes sense (in retrospect I should’ve seen what was coming because these words clearly mean NOTHING *breathes deeply, exhales slowly*) but thank goodness Liza is there to comfort Kelsey, whose statement that she really doesn’t care would be a lot more convincing if she wasn’t crying inconsolably. We get a beautiful transition from Kelsey’s office to Charles’ with a sweeping aerial shot across the autumnal canopy of Central Park along with the gentle music adding to the relaxed pacing of the episode. Liza doesn’t want it to be weird between her and Charles now that the proposal is out there (well actually, its 100% in her court but yes), so he reassures her it’s not weird at all by planting a kiss on her that almost triggers the sprinklers because friends, it is HOTTT. Cue super cute exchange about pro and cons lists, lovingly looking into one another’s eyes and then, another ‘ I love you’ from Liza to Charles followed by Charles responding, ‘I love you too’, and despite my deceased status at this point, it was magical. But also WHAT. IS. HAPPENING. 

These two are so enamoured with one another and it’s as though it’s something they just say to each other all the time, but this is literally the first episode we’ve heard any kind of expression of feelings to one another since the season 6 premiere and even then it wasn’t this direct; Liza ran away and Charles told her he didn’t mind not being at the office because he did it for the woman he loves followed by a cute story about how he can do maths because he’s had feelings for her for 16 years. Don’t get me wrong, the entire scene this episode was perfect and it was SO well done in the way it captured the best parts of their dynamic (damn you Darren Star for being so good at what you do), but it also felt like we were being shown the dream version of what could have been before it’s all snatched away.

Not unlike Millennial, which is like naming a business Boomer Print according to the table of boomers at the investor meeting who blindside Kelsey and Charles by voting to restore the name Empirical (head boomer has clearly had it with millennials, indicated by his statement, ‘who gives a shit about millennials any more?’) and so it is done and Kelsey is officially having a very bad week. It is while enjoying a quiet bourbon in the bar that evening that Charles is joined by Quinn, who is allegedly on her apology tour to explain to investors why she dropped out of the Senate race, but also offers Charles what seems to be a sincere apology for treating his company like a toy (prediction: nothing is ever as it seems with Quinn). I have a confession to make and believe me, I don't like it any more than you do - they absolutely nailed the set up of tension and a little bit of a spark between Charles and Quinn in this scene IMO and I...I *whispers* I liked it.

What I liked even more was Lauren’s completely in character entrance to her own birthday party, omg it’s so ridiculous and perfectly her and Denise telling her daughter, ‘fix your crotch, good girl’ had me chuckling. I feel like we’re getting Kelsey’s set up for the season at this party too, as she’s feeling unsure of what defines her now, and the conversation about defining things carries over into Josh and Liza’s chat when he asks her if congratulations are in order. This exchange between the two of them is just lovely, with Liza clearly feeling a little awkward talking to Josh about Charles, but Josh reassures her that he does like him, for her, and that it brings him joy to know she’s happy. They agree that their relationship doesn’t need to be defined, and that they'll always be in each others’ lives no matter who they’re with. It feels very final for their romantic relationship and I would be celebrating the end of the triangle had I not clocked Josh’s fallen expression as Liza walks away. I really do hope that Josh finds someone he loves and who loves him the way he wants to be loved this season. Josh’s words gave Liza some clarity of her own and so we find ourselves at the magnificent Seaglass Carousel, home of Liza and Charles’ first proper date, once more.

Charles is clearly full of hope and expectation as he meets Liza and they remember the time he and the beard we try to forget about brought her there and it’s all amazing and beautiful and...*collects self*...Liza tells him that she just wants to keep riding the perfect ride. She once again tells him she loves him (we’re up to three times in one ep now for those of you playing at home), that all she wants is his heart and that she wants to be happily unmarried to him every day. To say this does not go down the way she is expecting is an understatement; we learn that Charles doesn’t want a ride, he wants to get off the carousel and not live in a fantasy. He believes in marriage whereas she believes they are now finally free and folks, this is why you talk about your stance on marriage in a relationship BEFORE you pop the question out of nowhere at someone’s wedding. 

You can see on his face, as Liza says she doesn’t want to define their relationship by the rules and obligations of marriage, that he’s hearing that she is not all in (whether that’s true or not) and he thanks her for letting him know what’s in her heart. You know the bit that actually plunges the knife into my heart? Charles shaking his head as Liza says his name, clearly overcome with emotion, before he kisses her on the head looking as though his world has just come crumbling down around him. That knife just gets twisted even further as Liza is left there in disbelief, (we are all Liza in that moment honestly), trying to process how her own declaration could be so easily rejected. You know, I knew it was coming, but it didn’t make it any less painful. I can see it from both perspectives and I have no doubt that these two characters have a lot they need to address and work through as a result of their own failed marriages if they’re going to have healthy relationships moving forward. 

I tell you what, after so long with no new episodes, this first episode of the season was concurrently beautiful and heart-breaking and one thing’s for certain - this final ride ain’t gonna be smooth. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m just going to go and regain some composure so we can start on ep 2...

Season 6 ramble collection can be found here

[kendrick-harlow]

As time marches steadily past and I’ve gained some distance and read no less than 100 reviews and 50 codas for the Supernatural finale, I’ve come to an important conclusion: While my first reaction to the finale was a mixture of tears and loathing, some of the plot points do have narrative value, but the execution was way off, and I think that’s part of what’s causing such a rift.

Notably, this is mostly for my own catharsis--a way to steer myself away from letting the show grow completely sour in hindsight. I think it might be helpful to others having the same struggle, and maybe bridge the gap between people who liked the finale and people who did not. But first and foremost, this is for me.

Fair warning, if you read past this line, understand that this is about to get fairly analytical. It’s a (mostly objective) critique of both literature and cultural timing.

The TLDR is that there’s actually foreshadowing for both interpretations of how Supernatural would end and a lot of the controversy could come down to a mix of managing expectations and cultural climate.

TRAGEDY

I’m going to start with the big one. There is a lot of foreshadowing that this is how Dean will die, and as many of us know, the key to a successful, cathartic tragedy is knowing that it’s going to be a tragedy.

In 3x11, Mystery Spot, we see Dean die. A lot. From little accidents. Some of these accidents bear a striking resemblance to the one in 15x20. When one of these deaths appear to be final, Sam goes violent and obsessive with grief, until he tracks down the Trickster (later revealed to be the archangel Gabriel). While this episode was a long time ago, it established two things:

Gabriel taught Sam that when Dean dies, he can’t go crazy like this. He needs to move on.

It set an expectation that Dean (and Sam) were meant for more important deaths. No silly accidents.

Now, the second point is actually challenged in 15x10, The Heroes’ Journey. God no longer needs Sam and Dean to survive, so they suffer the rampant misfortunes of not being the protagonists. It’s explicitly stated that they could die a casual death now. This wouldn’t be the first time that a “crack” episode has been used to carry a lot of narrative weight (see, again, Gabriel’s entire shtick).

But most of the plot points are played for humor and it’s partially invalidated by the next episode, The Gamblers, when the Winchesters regain their lost luck. Then it’s never referenced again. (What happened to that luck, anyways?) What I’m saying is that while The Heroes’ Journey is foreshadowing, it wasn’t effective foreshadowing for a large portion of the audience.

Of course, everyone is familiar with Dean (repeatedly) saying that he would die on a hunt, which is, admittedly, one of the things that do actually make 15x20 ending work as a tragedy, although it would have also worked as a reversal--an accomplishment, if you will.

MIXED SIGNALS

The main question here is: Is Heaven supposed to be a happy ending? The Winchesters have had a fraught relationship with Heaven in the past. This is especially emphasized by 5x15, Dark Side of the Moon, where they are killed (again) and end up in Heaven. Also notably, in Dark Side of the Moon, Ash mentions having found a way to travel between heavens, which implies that that’s the ideal version of Heaven and ends up being the standard in 15x20. (Although it is not mentioned as being Ash’s idea, which would have been a nice callback and cemented that Heaven has improved a lot since the Winchesters’ sour experiences.)

A lot of the scenes from Sam’s long-life montage in 15x20 are tinted by grief and aren’t particularly balanced out by Dean driving. It would have been far more fulfilling and balanced to see Sam living his life with their living family while Dean spent his time with their dead family.

Basically, if Heaven is supposed to be a happy ending (as it was framed as being by Bobby), there are not enough visibly happy moments proceeding it. We just witnessed a major tragedy--there needed to be more transition.

NARRATIVE CONSEQUENCE

Put simply, there are loose threads. Big ones. What happened with the Empty? What’s Dean’s reaction to Castiel’s sacrifice and confession, whether you read it as platonic or not? What would Dean have done with his newfound freedom? Did Castiel and Jack really not visit? Ever? (Which would narratively kill them off and/or put them in Heaven, too.)

It would have been some kind of conclusion to see Castiel as part of Dean living his afterlife in Heaven, as ambiguous as I’m sure it would have been. However, there is plenty of fan-fiction for that, so I won’t go too far into it.

The part that bothers me is Dean’s newfound freedom. They kill off Chuck, the Final Big Bad, and he doesn’t die during that. From a structural perspective, that means we should have gotten more about what he planned to do (which actually would have added to the tragic aspect--specific plans that never happened). Even in the conversation at the end of 15x19, Inherit the Earth, it’s unspecified.

The pie festival scene (and later, Dean driving in Heaven) reduce Dean’s character to pie, car, hunt. As if he finds happiness from nothing else. It’s not a satisfying end to his character arc. At the very least, he should have mentioned plans or, ideally, gotten to experience one of them before his untimely death. Maybe a trip to Jody and Donna’s to have a big celebration with all of their found family. It would have been a good send-off for him if he’d been able to see all of his living family followed soon by all of his dead family. That way, all of his progress from S1 to S15 isn’t ignored.

CULTURAL TIMING

Admittedly, I’m going to be a little less objective here.

COVID-19 and 2020 in general. We are in the midst of a widespread tragedy. A lot of people are using media to cope. Personally, I wanted a happier ending. A bright spot in the endless reel of deadly event after deadly event. I’ve talked about ways that 15x20 had the potential to be happier, at least. There’s also the real-life impact of them not being able to film those big happy family scenes during COVID, which I understand, but fans have waited 15 years already. We could have waited a little longer if they explained that the ending would be drastically changed due to COVID restrictions. Saying that it’s a happy ending doesn’t have the same impact as seeing that’s it a happy ending. Show not tell, right? Oldest trick in the book.

I am only going to very briefly talk about the LGBTQIA+ community because of the show’s history of queer-baiting and the recent political environment that left many of us in that community worried that our rights would be stripped. Supernatural has pretty regularly referenced this audience and occasionally made them the butt of the joke (10x5, Fan Fiction). However, this wasn’t a good time to queer-bait, and it certainly wasn’t a good time to narratively bury the gays. Either don’t mention it or go whole-hog, guys. Anything else is cruel at this point.

CONCLUSION

There’s been equal foreshadowing that either the Winchesters would die hunters’ deaths at the end or emerge victorious from a final battle to live the lives they earned--the lives they’d sacrificed so that others could have. From a purely technical perspective, Dean dying and Sam living works. It’s an even split. One dies a hunter’s death. One lives on. It also means that no fan is wrong or stupid for expecting one or the other.

I know I’ve seen people say, “If you didn’t see this coming, we were watching different shows,” but with how Supernatural is framed, that is entirely possible. It’s up to which points you focused on and your investment in each individual character. However, from a cultural perspective, it’s clear why so many people were hoping for the happier ending.

[90s-belladonna]

Howdy, can I have a bnha match up! I am a bisexual female,red(ginger) hair with shaved sides and TONS of freckles. I am 5’4 and a bit chubby. My personality is mainly described a chill and I have a pretty great sense of humor. I love to draw, watch movies/tv shows and tell really stupid jokes. I am a Sagittarius and naps are my way of life. If you have time to do this thank u I appreciate it!❤️❤️❤️

Mt. Lady

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

why did I match you two?: your personalities are super similar and I think you two would hit it off right away if I’m being honest, she’s generally very easy going but has her narcissistic side so the fact that you draw would 100% feed her ego. (no shade to my queen I love her)

how you’d get together: you two would randomly meet at a party for a mutual friend, you both clearly don’t want to be there and spend the night entertaining one another with sarcasm, jokes, and funny stories. You two would be friends for a bit since neither of you feels like you’d rush into a relationship with someone. I’d give it six months tops before she finally loses it and randomly asks you out.

what your relationship would be like: relaxing! you two would make one another’s lives easier and happier. If either of you are having a stressful time you can always look to one another for a place of comfort, a safe haven if you will.

nicknames she has for you: food themed nicknames all the way! “bonbon” when she’s exhausted & “honeypot” when she’s trying to be romantic. she’d also call you “ginger snap” (because of your hair + the cookie) over text and that’d be your contact name on her phone!

your song: downhearted - molly burch

headcanons for your relationship:

❥ you two have set tv shows that you watch together no matter what! like you have to wait for the other to be free in order to be able to watch new episodes of these shows

❥ she loves taking naps with you on the couch, there’s something so intimate about something so innocent to her. she especially likes when you use her stomach as a pillow and hug one of her thighs and just fall asleep like that for a bit.

❥ she’ll ask you to draw her often, she’ll be all cute and shy about it too and when you do she’ll post it to her instagram and just show you off “look at what my extremely talented girlfriend did!”

❥ instead of counting sheep she likes to count your freckles before bed (let’s assume you two have a night light or something that will allow her to see)

❥ the only arguments I could see you two ever having are those about movies and shows, specifically when it comes to choosing favorite characters and ships.

☆ Match Up Guidelines

☆ Master List

[saibh29]

She’s gone Girly (1/2)

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Warning: Maybe a little bit of swearing and some fluff

AN: Oh wow, it’s bit so long since I posted anything I’ve wrote. To start with I had a very clingy baby who bless her suffered badly feeding wise and then I was just so uninspired.  I’m trying to write again though and have started with this.  A little Hiddleston bit of fluff that I wrote for my sister, who as background is in the military and heavily pregnant at the moment herself and suffering greatly. She also has an unhealthy obsession with Loki and Tom himself.  So hope you enjoy.... 

******

“I’m a whale"

You half wailed as you spun slightly too fast and your new frontal centre of gravity over balanced you, sending you skipping forward a few steps into your brother Sam’s chest. He grabbed your upper arms to steady you before patting your head in that slightly comforting, slightly condescending way that brothers did to younger sisters.

“true" he said with a smile “for a good reason though"

“You aren’t meant to agree with me, ass" you whacked his arm as you stepped away from his body. “You’re meant to comfort me. Tell me I look radiant or whatever other crap people say to heavily pregnant women to make them feel better about this" at the word this you waved at your extended stomach.

“You’re radiant" Sam agreed as you narrowed your eyes at him. “not just radiant, practically glowing with maternal energy"

“if I could move fast enough you’d be in serious trouble right now for those words Samuel"

“but you can’t and stress isn’t good for the baby, remember what the doctors keep telling you Y/N, you need to rest, take it easy"

“I hate you"

“no" Sam reasoned giving in and wrapping an arm around your slumped forward shoulders “you hate being pregnant. Which I could have told you that you would months ago"

“I do" you agreed “I know I’m not meant to, that it’s meant to be glorious and everything a woman dreams off but Jesus it’s just making me miserable I just want it to be over already"

“what did Tom say?”

“He muttered something about hormones" Sam winced which made you smile. “exactly. He retreated fairly quickly after that one"

“surely it can’t be much longer till the sprog makes their arrival"

“sprog?”

“well you won’t tell me what it is so I had to improvise"

You might have carried on being annoyed at his nickname for your child but said child chose that moment to viciously kick your ribs and you decided that whatever insulting name Sam wanted to bestow on them was probably deserved.

“3 weeks" rubbing at the top of your belly you tried to press the baby further down from under your rib cage so you could breathe at least semi comfortably. “3 weeks until the due date at least"

“it could be longer though"

“not if it knows what’s good for it"

You suddenly yawned almost breaking your jaw in two with the force of it. You hadn’t slept much last night as the baby had decided 3am was a wonderful time to take up Irish dancing on your bladder. You had contemplated waking tom and making him read to you but he had had an early start this morning and you weren’t quite that cruel. So instead giving up on laying down you had waddled to the couch and watched back to back episodes of Ru Paul’s drag race as the sun crawled over the London skyline.

“hey" Sam nudged your chin shutting your mouth once more. “you can do 3 weeks Y/N. If you can handle months in an Afghan desert with no comforts or privacy, and training then you can deal with 3 more weeks of pregnancy"

“I know I can... I just don’t want to"

“you don’t want to?”

“No, no I don’t. Shit Sam I have to pee every 5 minutes, I can’t breathe, I’m constantly hungry and the baby thinks kicking me is an ongoing joke of legendary proportions. I’m tired but every time I lay down I just get stuck and this whole thing is just...” you had to stop talking because you had started crying and hiccupping along with your words. Sniffing like a sick toddler as your nose ran with your tears.

Sam looked both horrified and scared at the same time. You never cried, you never got emotional and you were never a girl. To be fair he was still semi in shock that you were having a child in the first place, that you’d actually been attracted to a male. After living in the desert with a platoon of soldiers he’d doubted that you would ever find the male species attractive again. So, to see you sobbing like a real girl was just a step to far into the abnormal.

“there there" he patted you uselessly on the back. “shit Y/N... don’t cry" when all you did was sniffle more he gave in once more and tried to hug you, although the baby bump kind of made it awkward. “look it’s going to be fine. You got this, if you can’t sleep laying down then sit up, if you’re hungry just bloody eat and... and well I don’t know what to do about the kicking or the peeing but hey, this is all going to be forgotten in 3 weeks when you have a baby. A real baby Y/N"

“I...I...”

“words sis, I need words to understand you"

“idiot" you managed to wrench the tears back under control and smacked his chest once more at the teasing. You even allowed yourself to be led to the sofa and helped to sit down.

“tea?”

“That shouldn’t even be a question"

Happier now there was something for him to be doing rather than trying to comfort you Sam left you sat there flicking through Netflix films as he went to pop the kettle on. Seeing you cry was just one step to far into weirdness. It didn’t happen.

Tom arrived back just as the kettle had boiled and Sam was stirring coffee into his cup and tea into his sister’s. He smiled at his brother in law who dumped his bag on the floor and came over.

“didn’t expect to see you here today”

“Y/N called... she’s...well…"

Tom sighed rubbing at his temples “Is she alright?”

Sam fidgeted slightly before it came bursting out “she cried! Y/N never cries, even when we were kids she never cried. God she’s practically gone full 100% female all of sudden"

“apart from the fact she was crying that sentence was almost amusing"

Sam sighed sliding the tea over to Tom. “you take it to her I can’t deal with anymore shocks from my sister right now. I have to meet Saul anyway we have plans that involve drinking things our sister currently can’t"

“you want to risk not saying bye to her? Brave man”

Sam just smirked “4 years with my sister and still you haven’t learnt that discretion is the better part of valour, it’s much easier with Y/N to simply apologise for what you’ve already done rather than ask permission for what you want to do."

He gave Tom a quick man hug before grabbing his coat and disappearing through the door.

Tom took the tea and the abandoned coffee Sam had made through to the living room where you were sat flicking through films on the sofa. Your face lit up in a way that made his heart soar when you saw it was him not Sam.

“I didn’t realise you’d be home so early"

“it finished early" that was a lie.

His recording hadn’t finished early but he’d been worried about you. He knew you hadn’t been sleeping and the pregnancy wasn’t easy for you.

His wife was possibly the worst pregnant woman ever, too used to being active and independent. At the beginning the morning sickness had made you suffer, you’d had a few weeks between the first and third trimester that hadn’t been so bad and then you’d started to get too big to be as active as you wanted to be. That was when the real misery had started. You only truly relaxed when he was around as well, even if you wouldn’t admit it. So, he had just wanted to be here for you.

Kissing the top of your head Tom sat beside you letting you take the tea off of him. “Sam ran, didn’t he?”

“something about a sister who had suddenly turned female, that and the lure of alcohol"

You managed to laugh at that leaning over so your head went to his shoulder. Tom wrapped his arm around you, fingers naturally resting on the baby bump.

“I cried" you admitted softly. “I’m not really sure why I cried maybe you were on to something with the hormone comment. That’s a good excuse, right?”

“I don’t think you need an excuse darling" he pushed you forward gently so his hands could move to your shoulders rubbing at the tension there. “You’re pregnant, quite literally growing another human. You can react how you’d like"

“that is the correct answer" you couldn’t help but groan in pleasure as his hands dug a little harder into your muscles. “god I am just so tired Tom. I wasn’t even this tired after a full 15-month tour of Afghan"

“Would you like me to read to you?”

Normally that suggestion would have your instant agreement. Tom reading anything to you, even the phonebook, in that deep voice would get you to agree to anything. Right now though. “not if it means you moving"

He chuckled to himself but still pulled you back to his chest so you were laying on him once more.

You wriggled a bit as the baby decided to kick hard, this time into your liver. Your hand going to the left side of your bump and pressing trying to get the baby to quit battering its mother.

“Darling?”

“Your child likes beating up its mother” you winced as one more kick collided with your already bruised organs. “Jesus, I swear people said this was meant to be a magical experience”

Tom allowed himself to smile, but only as he was fairly certain you couldn’t see his face. Moving your hand, he pulled your shirt up and put his own hand on the bare skin of your stomach gently rubbing. “Hello little one, if you could please stop kicking your mother that would be wonderful”

The baby kicked hard once more against Tom’s hand, he would never get tired of feeling that, but then he did accept the fact that he didn’t have to feel it constantly on varying organs.

“Shhh, calm down” he soothed hand continuing to trail lazily over your stomach. “Shall I tell you a story? But you have to stay still and let mum sleep. Deal?”

The baby didn’t kick and you couldn’t help but smile. “Quick speak” you hissed “and don’t you dare move your hands, this child only seems to listen to you”

Tom continued speaking in that soft low voice telling the baby some sort of story about his day and the animals he’d seen in the zoo while they’d been shooting. It was just as good as reading to you and without the pain of the baby’s foot in your ribs and with Tom’s voice just behind your ear you finally fell asleep.

*******

@diinofayce​ @hisatumb​ @golden-guide​ @just4muggles @hp-hogwartsexpress @morganlb23 @yet-another-lockup @theraputicwritings  @unevenpages  @littlepartofheaven  @this-is-bucky-barnes @cassandras-musings @callmebucky-doll @frostbyte-horan  @QueenDarkMuffin @justsomeboringperson @tomshollandz  @chameerah @itsbrxkenblxck @aya-fay @no-good-ideas @angelicshinigami @winterhalcyon @my-cloudy-blue-dream @vxidnik @stuckinthestarrysky @iwillalwaystrymyhardest @elizabeth-rose771 @weirddemiwood @frcgile-little-flcme  @scarletmeii @angelaiswriting @selldraug @angryares @thenovarose @georgiagrl1990

(If you no longer want to be tagged just let me know and I’ll take you off the list)

[ts-2020-olympics]

EPISODE 4 - "Tribe Swap and TBH This Couldn’t Have Gone Any Better” - Pete

Tribe swap anyone? So right off the bat, I see that Jacob C. is the tribe captain. I immediately go to him and ask him to pick me for his tribe, so that I can pick Sammy and Sammy can pick Kevin and Kevin can pick a newbie and that newbie will pick a newbie and then that newbie will pick a newbie. GUESS WHAT? It worked!!! We did exactly that, and with all of us working together to build the tribe I think I realized I can trust them for now. I still know that Sammy has an idol, and so that’s useful information. Eventually we are gonna need to get him to drain it but I think maybe it’s gone now, if he could only use it for a few rounds. That’s also probably just what he wants us to think. I also hit a bump in the road with the information I’m holding. I’m trying to play this game very game-focused and not my usual hehe social game is gonna get me there way, even though in this cast...they really don’t care so maybe social would be the way to approach it. Either way, I ended up telling Kevin what I said about Beck in my last video confessional (I know you didn’t watch it so I’ll summarize; beck wanted to exclude kevin from an alliance that was Kevin’s idea). My only regret is that it might have been too soon to plant any seeds of doubt with Kevin about Beck, and that I might be getting played by both of them. But, on the other hand maybe it was the perfect time? We are going to merge....a long time from now. Like a super super long time from now. But, I don’t know I think telling him initiates a trust between us that I don’t have with the other people in this game. I’d really like to go to the end with Jacob C and maybe a random newbie. It just feels so far out of reach at this point, theres literally like...at least 7 more premerge boots and I really hate that. I despise big casts, and especially with this twist because there’s so much time in the middle of the round where everyone is just kind of like...sitting. And I don’t do well in those types of situations. So, it’s feeling bleak right now BUT if I do make it to merge, I’ll be very happy and then if I do make it to FTC I’ll be very happy and then if I don’t win, that’s to be expected and the usual state of what happens.

This tribe has my 2 "enemies". I don't trust either, I just tried to vote out Billy again too so that's cool. I'm going to go ahead and make friends with Jordan and stoner since they are loners, and we just need one more on top of that to make a new happy family. The thing with voting me out is, when you get me going, I will demolish the game, and given I'm a lot more comfortable in a tribe of 7, it shouldn't be that hard. Taking full control premerge is one of my favorite things to do, but you need a clear cut enemy to do it effectively. I have that enemy, no one else does. Let's see what we can do here.

Alright, so here's the ordeal.   First off, Bailey got medically evacuated due to getting three strikes (which might have stated this already in past confessional, but whatever,)  and secondly, Will lost out at arena, also getting the eliminated slot.   That left 21 people, and as my suspicions were, I expected a swap to occur, and that one did.   Went in expecting probably wouldn't be one of the first round picks, but ended up getting picked on tribe quicker than I anticipated.   Anyways, I am now on a tribe with Beck, Ben, Caeleb, Juls, Karen and Tommy.   I just couldn't be more happier to be with more active people on a tribe, instead of there just being myself and two others active on my original tribe.   Now, time to hope this new tribe can end the Yushu losing streak and come out as the sole immunity winner with today's challenge.   Then, finally, in regards to the Olympic Village, four times now where I have found nothing, but I went down each end of the village, so I at least now have some sort of insight to all the paths I can take in future village searching rounds.

HELL FUCKIN YEEAAAHH TRIBE SWAP!! and tbh this couldn’t have gone any better I think. I’ve got jacob c, eve, and sammy here and if we all vote together then that’s enough to be safe. I’m also maybe forming a bond with Landen cus they seem pretty cool and maybe I might be able to land a good social position in this tribe??? Hopefully someone secretly hates somebody so i can jump on that shit to keep me safe

okay so i’m sucking ass at this maverick bird game and i’ve only really performed well in one challenge ever so i’m in danger girls. everyone else here is used to challenges and have all this experience and then there’s my dumbass who has no fuckin clue what he’s doing. i could easily be first out this tribe tonight if no one wants to rock the boat and they all just vote based off challenge strength

I hate this challenge and I hate these flash games. That is all. 🙃

so i'm gonna try to keep this short because i have lots of writing to do for a history class, but basically, i've been praying for a swap to get away from the disaster that was sonkei, and last night, i finally got my wish! I wish we had gotten a break day to talk to everyone, because those are always nice when you swap, but i think i'll be able to do fine without it. my tribe breakdown could NOT have gone better! though i didn't end up with anybody i knew particularly well, i ended up with some people i've been talking to AND getting along with. Sammy is someone i love and someone i'm even buying a shirt from lol, nothing to do with the game he just told me about some of his graphic design work and i saw his shirts and i was like... let me buy it. Jacob, i love and we have very similar music taste. Then Nicole i've chatted with a bit, we're not close or anything but i like her! Pete, Eve, and Kevin were all entirely new. I think there's a lot of potential with pete, we've already bonded over crazy people in past games and our anxiety in games. whereas with eve things started off on an... AWKWARD foot, and with kevin, well i just suck at convo and he's not great either. some people are soooo dry and i just don't get it and as far as that goes i'm honestly struggling with some of these conversations like how r ppl so dry... but that being said i get along with everyone on this team and i think it's a really strong team, so i'm hoping that when results come out in like 15 minutes, i'm not proven wrong and we win! i tried really hard on the challenge and while i like everyone on the team (Jacob/Sammy specifically may be very useful as i'm also close with caeleb and they're working together.. Could be a good lil alliance type thing, potentially. I dunno.) i'm not 100% sure how safe i will be at tribal and really i just really, REALLY want a break from tribal. i'm very much #OverIt, and at this rate i genuinely might turn into Denise like Caeleb was joking about. I'm just sick of tribal council at this rate and I really don't want to go again, the arena makes these dynamics impossible and if I'm going to keep going I'm gonna have to keep managing everyone that goes there and back too.... OH BOOM RESULTS CAME OUT DURING TRIBAL AND WE WON! Thank FUCK. But the rest of that still stands about the confusing dynamics, how things are everchanging, and how avoiding tribal... I'm happy about it and hopefully I can continue to do it? I also need to talk things over with Billy, smooth over that dynamic and get him knowing I really do want him till the FINALS. I need him to trust me and the last tribal did not work for that. So it's go time. Thanks for helping me out, Miraitowa, my bomb af run begins now.

New Yushu, new us! Honestly, I'm really pleased with the tribe, but it sucks to see one of our own go. I have to, with a heavy heart, vote for Karen to go to arena. If all goes well, and I hope it will, they'll bring home the gold for us. :) 

wooooooo i'm nervous about tribal! unfortunately tribe yushu cannot catch a break even with new tribe members. voting out karen is best for my game but i'm afraid that me pushing for them to leave shows my cards a little too much and i fear that if we go to another tribal next round i'm gonna be in a bad position. i'll do what i can to maintain the connections i have rn and hopefully keep my life in this game going!! on that note. anxiety might kill me

Well I'm so MAD I LOST THE ARENA, I WAS IN LAST PLACE LAST PLACE! Then all of a sudden I take off and I literally was in first by 10 minutes and I get STUCK on the LAST CLUE and everyone else passes me and beats me. Which leaves me with no medal. Maybe this will lower my threat level because I keep flopping in all the comps but I literally have been trying to win these challenges and I just suck. However, I did make a key social connection with Beck during my time at the arena and I think this could be a good connection for my game. Then the swap comes and I'm like :V and I start messaging Beck because it's schoolyard pick and he messages me and says "If I pick you, will you pick someone I want?" and of course in my head I'm like "Well no duh I want to be in the majority" so I agree and he says "Darcy" so I know he has a tight bond with Darcy so whichever way Beck votes Darcy may follow. Then Darcy chooses Caeleb which I thought was a bit random but maybe they had talked a little and without any hesitation Caeleb chooses Juls *side eye emoji*. Juls I get a read that she is someone who is super dangerous. She's extremely likeable and has made no enemies despite going to tribal 3 times and everytime the person voted out came back. I think she may even be my biggest threat on this tribe. I don't necessarily know if she'll come for me but I don't want to find out. Then Juls talks about bringing Landen aka her partner in crime and in my head I'm like "Please god don't let Landen on this tribe." Thankfully the tribe right before it got to us picked him and she picked Ben because we wanted challenge strength and then Ben randomly chooses Karen aka the person who I wanted out first if Shosha ever want to tribal council and who has bombed most of the challenges this season. Then to make matters worse we BOMB this Immunity, I think these OG Blue people are cursed because they have been going to tribal every round besides the first round of the game. So now my closest ally in the game on my tribe is Beck. We call and Beck tells me about the dynamic how him and Juls know each other and he backstabbed her and he thinks she may want revenge. However, I believe they are about to host an ORG together so it's going to be really hard to convince him to turn on her because then she might say something if she's voted out because they will be hosting together. At the point I was at I was fine with Karen going home over Juls first because Ben said "Let's go for Juls." Then the targets ended up switching around and now everyone wants Karen, which I was still fine with until I get a message maybe an hour later from Karen saying "I really think we should stick together." and then I'm like well I guess this means if Karen stays I'm her #1 and that's very important on a tribe that'll only get smaller, so now I don't want Karen to go home but her odds are looking so narrow that she avoids the arena. However, I think she can pull out a Gold Medal and if she does leave I hope she does come back. I kinda view the tribe as there's the three of the OG Blues (Ben, Darcy, and Beck), the duo of Juls and Caeleb, and the sorta a duo of myself and Karen but nobody really sees us as a duo. Then Juls and Beck have a strong connection, Me and Beck have a strong connection, and Beck and Darcy have a strong connection. Beck has already voiced to me about blindsiding Ben, who I don't know if I can trust but at this point I'm not against it but I rather see Juls go, she's a way bigger threat and I don't think she will return with a gold and it causes tensions if she does return between Beck and Juls and it's off of me. My plan is to just keep Beck as close as I can I need to be his #1, I'll even take a close #2. This way I'm able to secure my safety in the tribe. I'm also trying to get closer to Caeleb in the route we end up going for Juls next and she doesn't come back I think I may be able to scoop him up as a number for me while being on this tribe and developing a bond that can last a while. Ideally Juls leaves tonight however, it'll sadly be Karen with that being said my perfect scenario is Karen wins the gold medal comes back, if we go to tribal again we meaning (myself, darcy, ben, and beck possibly karen) blindside Juls/Caeleb sending Juls home and she looses in the arena, I scoop up Caeleb, keep Karen close, Beck close, and then go for a blindside against Ben using (myself, karen, beck, and caeleb) even if Ben returns I think he'll feel most betrayed by Beck, and keep my options open from there. This way I'll start taking out people I feel like are dangerous that won't be targeted and I make my threat level smaller while creating strong bonds with people, and have other people be mad at each other. Hopefully all of this while we win a few immunities so that we aren't completely decimated by the time we get to a swap.  

This swap is good, I either wanted Billy or Nik out and that seems to be happening. Nik and Sarah aren't talking to me. I'm immune. Y'all confusing

Pretty sure I sent in confessional already this round, but why not, let's send another.  I don't got too much to add since my past confessional, but my tribe lost immunity.   Seeming like the vote is going to be Karen, but who knows, could be me, or could be someone else, I am not fully certain how this vote will end up playing out.

i love my new tribe with my whole entire heart!! sm i going to tribal again? maybe so. HOWEVER, they’re all angels and i can’t wait to continue to work with them 

hello i'm retracting my previous confessional bc now i actually have a reason to vote out someone who isn't karen. the vote is flipping on ben which i'm okay with because apparently he did something that upset caeleb and i want everybody to be comfortable playing this game. so hey, at least i know i'm safe tonight

😖😖😖😠😠😠😭😭😭😭😵😵😵🤫🤫🤫🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

Anyway so my UTR game is over and now it’s time to make a confessional! We’ve swapped tribes or whatever and of course I get swapped onto a tribe without nicole or Kevin so basically my back is against the wall /:. Anyway so I have tommy, juls, caeleb, Ben, becks and Darcy on my tribe now and they all suck at challenges apparently sjdbdjdndj like I didn’t do well on immunity but I didn’t even try which in retrospect wasn’t a good idea because now these freaks are targeting me as the weakest. So Ben and becks last night were basically like yeah we’re probably voting for you /: like first of all....fuck u, the only reason you tell me that is because you don’t think I have a chance to save myself, I don’t want your stupid pity confession, at least TRY to strategize with me. It took everything in me not to snap at them, I mean I kinda went off on becks but w/e they can’t be so naive. Anyway so I was talking to nicole and Kevin trying to save my ass and we figured out that I would have majority if I got me & tommy and the two people who were on other tribe so that was my mission for today. I think I talked enough with both caeleb and juls to convince them to work with tommy and I but I’m also a little weary /: I can’t be too sure and that scares me so anyway I’m gonna look for an idol hopefully I find something and hopefully no one is playing my ass right now or else it’s GG to me /: also becks is on board with voting Ben which like yikes if Ben finds out lol. Ben messaged me recently so I need to deal with that because I assume someone told him something ugh why do these newbies suck ):

Sooooooo I really need to keep my mouth shut sometimes. I didn't want Nik or I to go so I thought that we could avoid it, however chris didn't wanna swap. This really sucks because I didn't want Nik to go but I didn't make any effort to try and save him, which is odd for me. Had Chris and I voted out Sarah, it would've been fine. However, I'm now probably gonna be the biggest target in this tribe. BRING IT BITCHES I'M READY.

Maybe I should watch more of the actual Survivor show, but I'm now fully realizing that how well someone plays the game does not directly correlate to them winning...it's all politics and drama 🙃 

These people are literally insane. This is hilarious. I'm still on thin ice but this position is a lot better than my last one. Billy sucks. Common theme. Nik showed up at the live tribal but not to anyone's dms.

After seeing the MESSY ass tribal Sonkei just had, AGAIN, I am so glad I finally got the fuck off that tribe and onto a new one. The curse of Suckei really does exist, it's an absolute trainwreck tribe... That being said I had to laugh, and it might go down as one of the best tribes in history. Those iconic trainwrecky Survivor tribes are just.. ugh. That being said, I am SO SICK OF EMMA SURVIVING. PLEASE KICK HER ASS THE FUCK OUT OF THE GAME LIKE I HATE HER! ......Okay moving on from that outburst :) One thing this does remind me of though, is that I need to become more active in my pursuit to understand dynamics. I kinda wanted to take a step back and just observe during the swap, because usually I overplay out. And here, I just want to chill, and let people kind of forget that I ran shit on Original Sonkei. Forget that I was the leader there, who dominated everything with an iron fist (even if sometimes accidentally... Trainwreck vibes!) and just think of me as a cute derpy 16 yr old player again. That was my plan, but I'm starting to get nervous. This late in the game and I'm still in no official alliance chats, I may be losing Billy, and i'm ANXIOUS about the future. I definitely need to work harder on things moving forward, so that's exactly what I'm going to do.

IM READY TO KILL STONER AND DARCY AND BEN AND EVERYONE IN THAT ARENA EXCEPT NIK FUCK THAT TRIBE THAT VOTED HIM OUT AND FUCK THAT ARENA FUCK EVERYBODY I DONT EVEN REMEMBER WHAT TRIBE HES FROM BUT WHATEVER ITS LATE AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO SLEEP EARLIER AND NOW IMMA BE REALLY SLEEPY FOR MY ANNOYING ASS JOB THAT I KEEP DOING OVERTIME FOR CUS MY SHITTY ASS COWORKERS KEEP LEAVING EARLY I GOT OFF TOPIC ANYWAYS FUCK ARENA AND FUCK THE WINNERS AND FUCK THE RETURNEES AND FUCK SONKEI AND FUCK YUSHU FUCKIN DISCOUNT WANNABE YUJO BITCHES OKAY EVE SARAH AND I WILL GET YOUR ASSES 

psa krispy kreme is evil like they have bullshit random ass “deals” like 8 days a week for NO REASON like this one time it was New Year’s Eve so duh it’ll already be busy but corporate decided hey let’s do an annoying ass BOGO for $2 deal to torture our retail workers and I was working fucking drive thru that day and lemme tell you there have been very few times my patience and emotional strength have been toyed with by the force of god and i sure as hell wasnt prepared to have it at fucking 8 in the fucking morning i was so tempted to just tell every customer we make our donuts with bleach and orphan meat. it’s fucking 1 AM and i told myself i’d sleep at like 8 or 9 like a responsible adult but nooOOOOoo i just HAD to forget to eat so i have to make food and eat it so now i’m at midnight and gotta do this challenge or whatever so now i have fuckin 5 hours for my ugly ass to get enough beauty rest to be a lovely customer service representative of Krispy Kreme Enterprises™ and i’m gonna hate waking up i’m dreading it i have so much to do. i got off topic but yeah fuck arena fuck everyone in this game go eat a dick i’m upset and idk what else to say i ran out of angry words fuck that challenge and fuck billy dude why is he still here fuck the fuckin olympics nobody benefits from them except the greedy billionaires at the top like not even the athletes benefit that much they still gotta work average jobs like the rest of us like i always though olympic athletes were rich and shit but no they get screwed over royally and the places that host the olympics get shit on horribly it’s just an all around awful event doing nothing but spreading blind nationalism which is dangerous fuck america dude america’s a piece of shit and i’m allowed to say that i’m from florida fuck you anyways i’m tired bye fuck this  

and fuckin who the fuck is ben dude like no Nik was robbed bring Nik back fuckin ben from fuckin wannabe yujo tribe didn’t he go in a unanimous vote yikes also shoutout to whatever dumbass cancelled his vote that was a waste like why didn’t you save that shit dude fuck arena btw and fuck sonkei lmao loser ass tribe go win a challenge or something wow people are really gonna hate me when then airs but oh well i’m venting i’m at a breaking point and i don’t wanna fuckin go to work dude fuck fuckin yushu and fuck sonkei just throw the whole tribe away it’s Yujo final 3 bitches and fuck everybody else 

literally like i was added and my phone was still loading ALL the messages from all that fucking lag and already they started the round before i knew what was going on so i was just blind going in so fuckin stoner ass weee bitch got it when i wasn’t even there like ooh you won a challenge against nobody go fuck yourself by the time i could see the messages it was already over and they were like “sns you were here :/// go die i guess lmao loser” so yeah i’m a lil heated and it’s fucking 1:30 i can only get 3 and a half hours of sleep fuck this 

okay now it’s real strategy time. Nik just got robbed and I found out from Sarah that Billy’s leading the new Sonkei and wants her out next. Okay first off how the hell was he not voted out for not even doing the challenge? Second, if he’s targeting Yujo’s then he’s officially made the biggest mistake in the game. Eve and I are now on a mission to lead the Sonkei tribe to get rid of Billy as he should’ve been day 1. I think I can maybe convince Jordan and Chris, we just need 3 to have a chance. 

After swap 1

After nik got voted out

after winning arena

I’m fucking tireddddddd of going to tribal this game is not shaking out how I want it to. 

TRIBE SWAP BLESS THE TRIBE SWAP! i did truly like caeleb sammy and jacob a lot as people but like I was so going home if we lost its crazy. Now hopefully I can work with them without such tight a line keeping us together. ANYWAYS! we swap and I am in a fantastic position, i basically just took over tribe in terms of power. First thing i do is allign with stoner which is so funny to me. I realized hes someone whose general clout in the community is more disliked than me, so maybe i can make him my goat. I wonder if hes thinking the same about me. I wanted to work with billy but that guy is crazy like and that would be fine, if he was just normal crazy, but hes also the type of crazy thats like flip a vote at tribal for no reason and like I cant deal with that. I thought he had potnetial for a jordan pines minion, but sadly I think he might have to go. Anyways we lose teh challenge and em wants to target nik, em is somoene i super vibe with tbh so we get on board. HOwever she doesnt watn to tell sarah and im like OPPORTUNITY. I have had some great bonding with Sarah and think I have secured her loyaly to myself. I let her know about nik and got her to play dumb while still keeping her in the know. Now i think shes really loyal to me So after all that heres where stand. i have a 4 person alliance with me Stoner Em and Jacob which will likely take out billy if we lose again.the plan is the use sarah as a fifth on the side but my plan is a lil different. I want to keep sarah as tight to me as possible and when the time comes to take her out, do what I got to do to keep the people I think will progress me furthest in teh game. I don't think I am in danger of going this tribe swap so I need to use this opportunity to make sure I am okay for whatever comes after it.

[wild-aloof-rebel]

an inexhaustive list of things i love* about "meet the parents":

david throwing this party and continuing his season-long arc of going out of his comfort zone and doing things he wouldn’t otherwise want to do, all for patrick’s benefit

“i had to quarantine the camels for a month” (in case you ever forget how ridiculously rich this family was once upon a time)

johnny’s just SO proud of david and how well his relationship is going!

“there will be tears, even if they’re just my own” thanks, dan, for writing this line knowing full well you’re about to make all of us weep

*i was tempted to say “things i love and one thing i have incredibly complicated feelings about,” but that just wasn’t as catchy. but honestly i don’t love johnny outing patrick to his parents. i don’t. i probably yelled “oh no” at my laptop about fifteen times during this scene. i don’t love it and it will forever break my heart a little bit when i watch it. BUT. i also understand why you might choose to write it this way, and i love the places it leads. without giving david a reason to confront patrick about whether or not his parents know about them, you don’t have that whole conversation in patrick’s apartment. in an ideal world, that’s a discussion that would happen in a different episode, but if you’re going to try to tackle all of this in one go, there has to be a way into that particular conversation. if you think about the episode without johnny making what was really an honest mistake, david has no reason to panic and therefore no reason to tell patrick his parents are coming, they don’t have their conversation about patrick’s fears and we don’t get david aware that he needs to at least initially play it cool at the party, and in an episode where that doesn’t happen, then patrick shows up to the party, where david is expecting that his parents already know about them, david probably leans in to give him a big ol birthday kiss or something right in front of his parents, and any agency patrick could have had goes entirely out the window. and even if david doesn’t do that, patrick is put in a place where he has no time to prepare for the conversation he obviously is going to have with them; it turns it into something much more immediate and stressful and uncomfortable, and no one wants that. so if you’re going to go this route that patrick’s parents don’t know about their relationship, you have to have a way for patrick to know they’ll be there in advance so that he can choose if this is the situation in which he wants to come out to them and have time to work through that himself. so you have to have that conversation in his apartment, which means you have to give david a reason to tell him his parents are there in the first place. so while i’ll never love this scene itself, i can appreciate why you would choose this as the way into the rest of the episode, and i love the space it provides for important conversations to be had, for david to be so fiercely protective of patrick and his ability to actively choose whether or not to do this now, and for patrick to regain control he otherwise might not have had over such a personal moment. like i said, i’ve got [long and] complicated feelings about it lol.

alexis literally putting her foot down

johnny full-on sprinting to the cafe to correct his mistake. he at least took what he did very seriously and tried to start fixing it as soon as possible

“romantically in business with each other” “ew”

david talks to patrick’s parents on the phone at the store. that’s real cute. even if they didn’t know. (and i think that’s a fairly valid reason for why david would assume they knew without patrick expressly saying so. who puts their parents on the phone with their business partner???)

FLOWERS! he brought patrick a big beautiful bouquet of flowers for his birthday. he’s so sweet, and i love him.

noah’s acting. noah’s acting. NOAH’S ACTING!

that little hnng patrick does after he says he knows his parents are good people. it breaks my entire fucking heart

this whole conversation is SO REAL. so real. like i can’t think about it without tearing up. it’s what makes this episode what it is. it’s important and beautiful and respectful and resonant, and i’ll forgive the setup that got us here because it gave us this.

david’s mm mm mm mm mm as he wraps patrick in his arms

that david never once thinks patrick hasn’t said anything because he’s ashamed of him

the fucking closet joke in the middle of this conversation, GOD

the offer to be just his business partner if that’s what patrick needs

patrick’s smile thinking about telling his parents about david

all these touches and kisses and hugs. so. much. intimacy.

david groaning and taking a big deep breath on the walk to the brewers’ motel room. he’s so nervous. he wants so badly to fix this for patrick

“oh no i very much am” he isn’t apologizing for their relationship. he isn’t sorry to love patrick

“and... it’s his birthday” that little bit of pleading made me sob

wiping away the tear. dan levy, i hate you.

johnny still trying to fix it. he’s a good dad. he’s such a good dad.

“75 for one, 150 for the pair”

clint kissing marcy’s temple just before patrick arrives at the party

moira still says happy birthday, despite david just telling them all that they’re saying surprise

“i thought you guys were out of town” “well we are” they’re cute! they’re a cute family, and i love every one of them

every single time david calls them mr and mrs brewer makes me smile so hard

HE WORE THAT SWEATER. he wore that sweater knowing full well that the power of love made this party, that it saved this party. that his love for patrick and clint and marcy’s love for patrick were going to make this the night it needed to be. how can you not believe in the power of love after that? hell, i’d proclaim it on my sweater at that point, too.

clint giving david’s arm a squeeze

the way david reassures patrick they’ll get through this together and his soothing little thumb rubs on patrick’s shoulders

the world’s tiniest i love you (my new 100% favorite moment of the entire show)

marcy the overenthusiastic ally

“david is my boyfriend. and i’ve never been happier in my life.” my sweet button-faced son!!!!

clint gets teary-eyed, and i could just die

“i like him. i like him a lot” “me too” what a cute moment for patrick, already joking with his parents about loving david!!

“you will in time” patrick’s thinking about their future and i’m never gonna stop screaming

SLOW DANCING AND NECK KISSES

patrick knows. i’m so glad that it’s something that doesn’t have to be a secret between them and that he can see how much david tried to make it right for him

the watery way david says “a very messy day.” again, dan levy, i hate you. so much. by which i of course mean i love you for giving us all of this.

love burns brighter than sunshine

DID I MENTION THE SLOW DANCING??

AND THE NECK KISSES???

AND THE SLOW DANCING????!!!!!!!

[snkpolls]

SnK S3E2 Poll Results (Manga Reader Version)

The poll closed with 590 responses! Thank you to everyone who participated. 

Please note that this is the results of the manga reader poll. Anime only watchers are suggested not to read if you do not wish to be spoiled about certain events! Anime only viewers, click here to view your poll results! 

Rate the Episode

The vast majority gave the episode their approval, with the largest percentage rating it a five.

Levi vs MP chase blew me away and I didn't remember rest of the show except Linked Horizon.

Animation blew me away and Kenny is better than I had imagined him in the manga.

They made Levi more bishy and badass at the same time. As expected of WIT. I find myself surprised at some of the changes and the new pacing, but I’m just here to enjoy this wild ride, so I’m open to anything. I can’t wait for Frieda to finally appear and confuse the fuck out of anime-onlies.

ep2 has already become my fav episode

It feels rushed. But I can only hope they make up for it later on.

I enjoyed it, especially the fight scene! A lot of things were missing from the manga, but I'm thinking they will be included in a different context. The ED was absolutely perfect! I'm looking forward to the rest of the season.

It was super enjoyable in its own right even if I'm a bit skeptical of the changed pacing.

The animation in this episode was amazing!

Rate the Ending

Respondents have agreed that the ending is a bop, with votes heavily favoring the positive. Feelings were much more mixed for the opening. We’re happy to see that most were at least satisfied with the ending!

I think it's the perfect mood for an ED. I'm really glad Historia got such a great focus; the OP focuses more on several characters an the ED on her.. I like it that way.

It's great! I love Red Swan so much and I'm happy with both songs!

Loved it a lot. You could immediately tell the signature Sounds Horizon influence, which is great. The song’s been stuck in my head for days. I also love the fact that the visuals are Historia-centric.

I don't think it should've been the opening per say......maybe with different visuals but I absolutely loved it. I'm glad that unlike the opening it didn't disappoint.

The Sasageyo in the middle caught me off guard lol

but like why did they have to make me feel so many emotions over that ending tho???

i'm literally in love with the ED it sounds like a fairy tale and i need the full version stat

the ed took me to nirvana

The ending was really beautiful. The animation with little Historia was beautiful because we will see more of Historia. Heck, this is her time to shine. This is her spotlight.

How do you feel about Linked Horizon performing the ending this time?

The majority of respondents are happy that Linked Horizon is back this season, even if it’s the ending instead of the opening. A smaller percentage still wished they had done the opening instead, however.

Who Linked Horizon is?

I hope they perform the opening for the next arc

Ending or opening I wouldn't care. As long as we have Link Horizon.

I'm glad they are still sticking around but I'm still so upset the OP/ED were 100% from some romance high school anime.

Which one is your favorite ED?

Do we as a fandom have a bias toward Linked Horizon? Quite possibly, as the new ending has already captured the hearts of the largest group. Great escape came in second, and Yuuguri no Tori remains the least liked ending of the series.

The new ending is beautiful. The scenario, music, how sad it is considering the recent events in the manga. Beautiful. I've to admit that I prefer by far the ending to the opening.

Which scene(s) did you like best?

It goes without saying that the Levi vs. Kenny/MP chase is what blew away the fandom this week. It was the favorite scene by a huge margin. The runner up was Armin taking aim and shooting in order to save Jean’s life.

I've been waiting five years to see the bar scene, BANG! BANG!

not ashamed to admit I rewatched the Levi vs Kenny chase dozens of times

Favorite anime-only scene: Sasha saved Armin this time, i couldn't be happier for my girl. She ain't useless and definitely not a comic relief, i hope Isayama will do something in the future so that people appreciate &miss her more when 105 is animated.

Also, something I'm loving this season and doesn't receive enough credit is to hear Traute's voice. Her voice sounds so badass. Love it

The animation is so gorgeous and literally jaw dropping. I enjoy absorbing every single second of action. And seeing and hearing the scene of Jean almost being shot and Armin killing somehow has made me officially ship Jearmin.

On a scale of 1-5 how much did the animation during the Levi vs. MP chase blow you away?

As expected, the animation left the majority of respondents in awe. It took one month for the animators to get in that 30 second sequence and it was so worth the efforts of the animation staff!

The Levi fight scene was breathtaking. Genius.

Best animation. Ever. Levi you awesome badass.

On a scale of 1-5, how daddy is Kenny?

While a fair amount of voters wouldn’t let Kenny touch them with a 50 foot poll, a larger portion of voters agree that Kenny is daddy material.

I want Kenny to be my daddy :P

The only thing so far that is completely good is KENNY BANG BANG ACKERMAN! They're making a wonderful job with him and I hope the dudes from Wit studio won't turn him upside-down or change some important scenes. In the end... KENNY IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND COOL UNCLE/COWBOY ON EARTH. I'll always follow him

Kenny is even colder bastard than he was in the manga. I like him!

How did Erwin light the match with one hand?

Will the mystery ever be solved? We don’t know, but the majority of voters are quite certain that Erwin’s chiseled jawline may have something to do with it!

How excited are you to see kidwin’s eyebrow game next week?

61% of respondents are ready to see Kidwin moving and talking. Possibly also the heartbreak that will follow as we watch his backstory unfold. We’re pretty excited for small Erwin too!

Is your heart ready for Historia’s childhood flashback?

The majority of voters are ready for Historia’s “not very happy” backstory to unfold in episode 40. Some are eager, some just think she’s cute as a button and others are ready for their hearts to hurt. About 12% of voters aren’t as enthused, however.

I hope we will finally see Frieda in the next one !

On a scale of 1 - 5, how much do you relate to Bartender-kun?

I think we can almost all agree with the bartender when he says “EEEK!” It’s quite relatable really.

It took 4 years to finally see Bartender-kun in his moe glory and it was beautiful. 10 outta 10 would EEEEKK again.

EEK!

Would you want Levi as your motivational counselor?

68% of you would appreciate Levi’s straightforward and blunt was of saying things in order to help you cope and sort things out. 32%, however, would prefer a more gentler approach.

Does Erwin have a gambling problem?

68% of respondents agree that Erwin’s gambles are a positive thing! The thrill of it all is quite a ride for both the Survey Corps and the audience. We look forward to watching his gambles pan out in animated form soon!

How are you guys holding up?

The largest group of voters are unsure about the changes and feel pretty sketchy toward WIT and Isayama for making and agreeing to the changes. However, a combined 50% of respondents overall are enjoying the anime so far, with 31% of those voters having a great time watching the events unfold in a new way. 8% of voters have already lost all hope at enjoying the adaptation.

Jokes aside, the pacing's still left me reeling a little. But I can see how this might make sense from the studio's perspective. If I was an anime-only, I think this episode would have THRILLED me. So yes, I am still invested in the anime and am looking forward to the rest of the season!

Thoughts withheld until we see how the rest of the arc is adapted

i thought it was really good! most manga readers disagree, but i have hope that important scenes will be included later, and we shouldn’t be so quick to judge only 2 eps. i think we should be grateful that the scenes they DID include followed the manga pretty well. i have faith in the changes isayama wanted to make, he is the creator after all. have hope yall!

How do you feel about the restructuring so far?

We were quite surprised to find that 57% of respondents are still open to  the changes, looking to see what happens next before ultimately deciding if the anime is in good hands or not. A small 15% are excited for the changes, while another 15% are not feeling them at all. A very small percentage aren’t enjoying anything about the restructuring so far.

I'm really trying to enjoy the season and not judge too fast before seeing all of the arc, but damn WIT, Isayama, you guys are making it so hard, I'm hella confuse by the changes you're making

In my opinion, the change of pace is for the worse. I'm sad Isayama hates the arc this much, and that he agreed to many crucial character scenes being cut. I think the arc in the manga only felt slow because of waiting for the next monthly chapter.

I'm confused by all the changes but it's only episode 2 so I'm waiting for what's coming next. The animation is beautiful, Levi is beautiful (even with his shirt on) so I like it so far!

Still generally hyped about the season, but wary of the changes. A little bit disappointed about the cutting of the minor characters' (dimo, nifa) screentime/character moments. But I'm gonna wait with my judgement 'till the arc's over.

Character development will not be the same. Hopefully they can build up Armin’s and Erwin’s characters in time for RTS or nobody will care.

What best describes what you think about the missing scenes so far?

While we’re all a bit sad to see some of our favorite scenes lost, the largest group of respondents have accepted that as a fact and are ready to just move forward. 26% are holding out hope that everything will be implemented one way or another. 13% of respondents are finding that the missing scenes are making it very difficult to enjoy anything about the season so far.

I literally want to fly to WIT Studio, go in banging a cowbell in everyone's ears until they put the cute scenes of titan eren and his dorky yet fine ass back in the anime.

I'm afraid that loosing some scenes now will take away more important ones later on. No Dimo telling Historia to give Levi a good punch. No Levi basically threatening Historia to take up the mantle of Queen. These interactions added depth to the characters. There's still time for them to include a few other things in flashbacks, but the changes have me a little on edge. Maybe it's just cognitive dissonance - I'll not write off WIT's and Isayama's restructuring efforts yet. But I will sit on my hands and bite my tongue when I ask my Anime-only friends about their thoughts on the pacing thus far.

the only thing I’m really upset they cut is the scene where Armin talks about how to manipulate the mass and everyone stares at him horrified, everyone’s bitching about the abs but the true loss is not seeing the horrifying expression Armin makes

Dimo's the real victim of the cuts here ;_;

My hype for this season died seeing how they are dealing with this arc

I think that people  complain too much about snk anime. Yes, some things are different and even some favourite scenes of mine where removed but overall this is still the best anime of the season, maybe even the year.

How do you feel about the scenes they did keep?

A combined 63% of voters were satisfied with the scenes that we did still get and many of those believe WIT excelled at executing them. 29% thought the scenes were still alright, but lost some of the impact they had in the original work.

The animation of all of it is phenomenal, but all the scenes/events are jumbled in comparison to the manga. It has me like ?????

The whole bit with Jean being "shot" was better in the manga IMO

Again, as before I am not the Uprising Arc's biggest fan, but one thing I did enjoy was whenever the focus was on the 104th kids coming to terms with fighting humans, struggling with their own morality and the orders Levi was giving them. In the manga, this takes place over a longer period of them, so you really get to see Sasha, Jean and Connie question things and come to their own decision not to kill. By reordering things now, I feel that has completely lost its impact.

The scene at the end where the SC crew learns about rod reminds me a bit of the AT & CT reveal when the way in which the SC reacted to Reiner and Bertholdt possibly being titans was withheld from the viewer so I think that maybe thats what they might be going for this season in the sense that they will find a way to cram a lot of moments in flashbacks later.

Rushed. Scenes have less impact. I’m just thankful I’ve read the manga so I have the context of how bamf these things really are.

They removed way too many Dimo scenes which makes him a very different character to the anime canon. In the manga he was a good-hearted opportunist trying to avoid the deaths of himself and his comrades whereas in the anime this was watered down significantly. Also, #BringBackGesumin2018

I like the pacing but many scenes lost their impact, e.g. Reeves death, Armin's kill.

Where do you think Rod, Historia and Eren are right now?

We definitely know they aren’t in the cave, but the largest group of voters aren’t even sure where to theorize they could be right now. Although there is a near tie between people who believe they are either at the ranch or the chapel. One commenter on the poll pointed out an area we hadn’t even considered, however: 

Because this option didn't show up in where Eren and Historia are: The Central MP Headquarters! The torture of Sannes was used as a way to find where Eren and Historia are, which is the original point of that mission. So there'd be a different, less redundant reason to go to the HQ in the first place! You can even add some missing scenes there.

How did you feel about the way the torture scene was handled?

Most of us did believe that WIT would censor the torture sequence a bit, but the largest group are shocked at just how much of it wasn’t shown at all. Nearly one quarter of voters are disheartened that they didn’t show it all. Commenters are mourning Hange’s memorable line about which testicle Sannes wants to keep the most.

THEY REMOVED THE “WHICH TESTICLE DO YOU NOT NEED” LINE. BUT THE BALL-REMOVING INSTRUMENT WAS THERE. TALK ABOUT AN UNFULFILLING CHEKHOVS GUN.

They cut out Hange's best line

Even though i expected it would be a little bit censored, but wasn't thinking it would that much, they turned it into a joke, a humouristic torture...like seriously wit?

I'm upset because they removed Hange's best line.

Where was Levi punching?

It may've not been directly shown, but sometimes there's more horror in what you can’t see than in what you can

I expected it to be censored but it's ok, they managed to transmit the grotesque and black humorous feeling that the manga gave.

im sad about hange’s line not being included, but other than that, i thought it was really good, and i didnt expect them to be as brutal as the manga anyways. :/

Armin contemplates how they are torturing and killing people because they have different views. How does this relate to the current manga events?

The majority of voters believe that this was a good foreshadowing for the events that have taken place much later in the manga. 17% of voters don’t feel that the situations are comparable, however.

Both sides are fighthing for their own good

Eh, that’s how human history has always been since time immemorial. It’s always people killing other people because of a difference in views and ideologies. Not saying that it should be tolerated, but everything is a case-by-case basis. Sometimes, you need to extinguish the enemy because the enemy alive is a far bigger threat to the world. That’s just how it is.

Everyone else is stuck in the mid-Uprising chapters while Armin is 57D pathsmancing his way to mid-Marley chapters

The uprising and ao Liberio aren’t comparable, but Armin is consistent through each

We didn’t get shirtless Levi, how are you feeling about it?

39% of voters are sad about not getting treated to some eye candy this week, while 34% just don’t care about it at all. 15% were happy just to see Levi’s nice bara tiddies outlining his shirt, while 12% of you are still holding out hope for rock-hard abs.

I was robbed of the abs I was promised and am like... really pissed off? Sad? Bemusedly confused? I know in the grand scheme of things it shouldn't really matter that much but dang, it hurts.

It might just be the lesbian in me talking but I don’t care they didn’t show abswin and Levi shirtless lol

Levi is daddy af. Thanks for exploding my ovaries bc I didn't want children. Super convenient.

But Levi still looked badass tho

What about abswin?

Similar to Levi, the largest groups of respondents either feel betrayed by WIT or don’t care about it. A larger portion than with Levi were completely satisfied simply by Erwin’s presence.

ABS ABS ABS!!!

Apparently this world doesn’t deserve Levi and Erwin’s abs... Looks like we’re not worthy of such a blessing.

I AM FEELING ABSOLUTELY BETRAYED BY THE LACK OF ABS I mean c'mon, WIT, you can't give me, a grown adult, just an angsty adolescent's steaming abs (from the Titan tyvm) and expect me to be satisfied with that.

The Ackerman reveal was handled a bit differently, with Kenny telling Traute about how he raised Levi instead of telling Dimo he is his pride. How do you feel about the change?

The majority of voters believe that the small change in the Ackerman reveal wasn’t a big deal. However, a pretty sizable portion do believe that the weight of the reveal was lost, with many commenters lamenting the loss of Kenny saying that Levi is his pride.

I think we'll have more impactful Acerkreveal to come when Levi and Mikasa talk. *nervous chucking*

Levi being an Ackerman is the less secret thing anyway, the way it's reveals hardly matter

Most of the fandom read some good ol fanfic, i'd be surprised if like 95% of the people watching it didn't know he was an Ackerman (or just log in to tumblr)

Lol so many anime-only reactors didn’t even notice the Ackerman name-drop so WIT pretty much failed at that. And it’s okay for fans to feel disappointed with the anime. We’re not **obligated** to think it’s amazing especially if we think there are parts of it that weren’t adapted well.

I expect another encounter between Kenny and Levi that leads to the talk about Levi being Kenny's pride, probably directed to Rod instead. This scene, on the other hand, worked as a wonderful namedrop and setup for a second encounter.

I love how he called Levi his pride in the manga so i’m very sad they changed it, it made Kenny’s death even more emotional.

It flew right past me oops

Levi threatening Historia didn't happen, breaking the chain of events that builds up to her punching him later. What best describes your thoughts?

It’s probably safe to say that many of us are raising questions about the loss of this scene and how WIT will make up for it or whether it was truly needed in the first place. 39% believe that WIT will still work it in somehow, while the majority believe that the scene is lost forever, with split opinions about whether WIT will make up for it in another way or whether their faith in Historia and Levi’s arcs is shattered forever.

The only thing I'm keeping my eyes on is anything related to Historia and her future step up as queen.  I'm sure she'll learn that she is royal next episode via her father, so I wonder if eventually deciding to take rule in place of her hidden relatives and corrupt government, will actually end up being her idea, which could explain why Levi's altercation with her was removed.  That would be really interesting and I think it could work out just as well!  I always thought his anger toward her was a little too sudden and misplaced in the manga, anyway, and if it's removed for good, I'm glad we don't have to live through that controversy again.

I’m kinda disappointed that they didn’t include Dimo Reeves’s redemption arc. It was very essential to Historia & Levi’s character. Maybe I’m worrying over nothing & instead Fligel will replace Dimo in that role, but Eren & Historia were already captured so I’m not sure how they intend to go about rewriting Historia & Levi’s character progression. However, the production team & Isayama do seem to understand how important character development is for this arc, so maybe they’re finding different ways to make it better in ways we didn’t even realize were possible. Maybe by the end we’ll all say “Wow! This was handled a million times better than in the manga!” But right now, it just seems like Isayama had a negative bias towards this arc & was only so accepting of the changes cause he just thought of the Uprising Arc as his worst piece of work to date despite it being the most important for character development & plot progression. I hope I am wrong though.

Which group of characters are your favorite?

Where do you primarily discuss the series?

I discuss the series in Facebook, dunno why you don't have that option :/

Additional thoughts on the episode?

Isayama reacting to S3 complaints: “Am I out of touch? No, it's the manga readers who are wrong.”

BUT NO FLEGEL QUESTION IN THE POLL!!!?!?!?!? THAT'S IT!!(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ I'm actually not going to do anything about it though. but still. Flegel is best boy.

I’m blown away by the animation!  I’m kind of enjoying guessing what might happen next and what other changes they’re going to make.  I still have faith that WIT and Isayama will deliver an amazing season three - holding out for more episodes until I lose my mind about changes.  It’s super entertaining so far.

I am aware that a 100% adaptation of the manga is impossible and I'm usually not bothered by it. However, I'm slowly getting nervous that too much could get lost and that those fans who want an accurate adaptation will get too frustrated with it to continue. I really hope WIT has a plan here and listens to the fans.

I really, really, really wanted Kenny to say that he was proud of Levi. It was really bittersweet. I hope WIT puts it later on when Kenny is about to die and hopefully he tells it to Levi straight up. But I’m not gonna lie, Levi never knowing that his “father figure” was proud of him all this time puts a tragic and beautiful twist to their relationship. There’s always been something sublime about unexpressed emotions that will forever be hidden because death claimed it first.

I feel like they're sacrificing character interactions and developments for the sake of pacing and action.  

I know lots of people are saying that everyone should chill before jumping to conclusions, but as far as I’m concerned all our opinions - mine included, as well as the opinions of those who are dissatisfied with the episode - are valid. And in my opinion, there was so much that the anime skipped. Sure, they were just small details. But it were these details that enriched the story. I trust Isayama, but at the end of the day, he too errs. He too commits mistakes. I don’t know, but if I feel overly dissatisfied with the adaptation even after the season is over, and in my defense am able to bring up valid reasons why I didn’t like it, then so be it.

It's a shame Dimo got reduced to such a minor character.

I felt a bit sorry for the girl who was killed by Armin. I didn't pay attention on her in the manga but in Armin's flashbacks she was more human. It was the proof that even such cold monsters like anti-human squad members have some heart.

I love it so far but Levi and Erwin need more love and they'll get it if they are shirtless and have moar scenes

Traute made me gay.

Ackerman bastards! How they can violate chairs like that?! Right now I can trust only Mikasa with my poor chair babies <3

everyone is like 'where are the abs' while my lesbian ass is sad about no gesumin smh

Thanks to everyone who participated! We’ll see you again on Monday! 

[dancinginodessa]

I’ve been doing this survey on New Year’s Eve for thirteen years, which is HALF MY LIFE, and I need to go sit down now.

1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?

Officiated a wedding, crocheted a shawl, got a joint membership to something with somebody (the New York Botanical Gardens, truly the highest level of commitment before marriage), marched for my beliefs, called my elected officials on a regular basis, got a promotion, genuinely did not give one shit if my dad’s family figured out my sexuality, etc.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

My sole New Year’s resolution, as usual, was about how many books I wanted to read. I chose 100. I read 103.

In the new year, I (please hold on to your hats) want to read less, only so I can write more. It’s been a while now since I graduated from the MFA program. I want to go back to the work I was learning to do and keep doing it. That was the point: to keep doing it. 

I always want to learn to be more comfortable with not being in control, which might actually take me the rest of my life, but I might as well start sometime.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No, though I know of lovely people who had equally lovely babies! Just, you know, not babies I know very well.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No. People got sick but recovered, and I am so grateful for that.

5. What countries did you visit?

I did not leave America for the...fourth year running? It’s a bummer.

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?

Money that I am not actively setting on fire, and more room in this apartment.

7. What date from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

August 5: my best friend got married. I remember this on account of how I officiated, and also on account of it was one of the loveliest days of my life.

September 9: I had dinner at the American Girl Café, which I will not stop talking about until I am literally dead.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I got a therapist!!! 

9. What was your biggest failure?

I was a real dick to myself. And I’m still very bad at emailing people back in a timely fashion. As far as society is concerned, the latter is a graver sin.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

A bunch of weird bruises and scabs from being too clumsy to live, plus a pretty nasty cold or two. And I guess mental illness more or less constantly. But I think I am okayer now, and was okayer all this year, than I have been for a long time.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

G and I went halvsies on a Nintendo Switch! I’m real bad at Mario Kart 8 Deluxe! But I guess love is being real bad at something in front of someone and not caring.

Also: plane tickets to Cleveland and Chicago, bus tickets home, yarn for my mother’s Christmas shawl, a new phone because that means my dad has inherited my old phone and we can send each other emoji-filled texts now.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Everyone who put up a good fight. The friends who hugged and fed me. G, for riffing off my bad jokes with his own bad jokes for another whole calendar year. My parents, for everything. The McElroy brothers, for making me laugh every time I needed to.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

The government? Evangelical Christianity? Lani Sarem? In no particular order?

14. Where did most of your money go?

Transportation to other cities and mental healthcare. Holy hell am I glad that I now see a therapist who does not cost $$$$$.  

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Karen’s wedding!! Seeing Welcome to Night Vale live!! Making things to keep people I love warm!! The 5 Boro Bike Tour!! Switching to a shampoo that makes my dry hair less dry and therefore more acceptable in polite society!!

16. What song will always remind you of 2017?

“New Rules” by Dua Lipa, no contest.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Happier. Angrier. More willing to put up a fight.

ii. thinner or fatter? The same, I think, because we can’t afford an animator to redraw my sprite and I guess the series is going to be using this model until further notice.

iii. richer or poorer? Poorer. Woof.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Being honest about what I needed. Wearing a scarf instead of pretending I wasn’t cold. Watching Netflix, because now it’s almost 2018 and I still haven’t seen Stranger Things or Bojack Horseman and the entire zeitgeist has left me behind. 

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying (about whether I am secretly the most unbearable person alive/about what my face is doing/about spending too much money/about what I should be doing with my life/about whether or not I am literally about to die, which, so far so good), though that is kind of a tall order. 

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

I went home and spent December 25th at my grandma’s, where I was very cold and also very happy to be with my family. For Julian calendar Christmas, I think I am going to see family in Connecticut, and I haven’t seen them since I was 12, so this could be great AND/OR very awkward. Say a prayer.

21. Did you fall in love in 2017?

Stayed in it. Bought a time-share in it. Built a house in it. 

22. How many one-night stands?

I’ve been having the same one-night stand for two and a half years, am I doing this wrong?

23. What was your favourite TV program?

I watched little to no TV this year, but I did really like the one episode of My Brother, My Brother & Me I saw! If we’re counting Youtube channels, I would like to give an award to Geography Now! for being the glue that bonds my parents and my boyfriend.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Honestly, I don’t think so. 2017 is the year of smoldering resentment. I’m too tired to hate anybody extra.

25. What was the best book you read?

Oh geez. Lincoln in the Bardo was way up there. And Version Control. Also Shrill, and Her Body and Other Parties, and maybe a dozen more, but I’m trying to finish this before midnight (in five hours), so let’s stop there.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

This was not a year in which I listened to much music! That was weird. So I can’t say I really discovered anything; however, I certainly continued to be grateful for Ween.

27. What did you want and get?

A subscription to New York Magazine. Listen, it’s the little things. (Also, a raise.)

28. What was your favourite film of this year?

Thor: Ragnarok is the most profoundly bisexual movie I have ever seen. I would also like to nominate the trailer for A Wrinkle in Time, even though the movie is not out yet. It’s just that the trailer is very important to me.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 26! And my birthday just happened to fall on one of the dates of Welcome to Night Vale’s spring tour, so I went to the Bell House with G. There’s a doofy photo of us on Facebook looking pleased with ourselves on the train, and I treasure it.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I’m getting word that everybody else already submitted “a different president,” so how about...a rug in my living room that isn’t white? Come on, Past Nina. Who did you think you were? That kind of hubris is unbecoming, and we’re all paying the price now.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017?

“Thanks, I Love Cardigans.”

32. What kept you sane?

Podcasts, crocheting, calling my mom to vent my spleen, and therapy (if you want the literal answer).

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Oscar Isaac is a beautiful man, and St. Vincent is my queen.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

[tense, angry silence; in the distance, thunder and a horse’s whinny]

35. Who did you miss?

Everyone. All the time. Especially my parents.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

Who did I meet this year? It’s been a decade since January. The new tenants at the office are pretty delightful, and my first bonding activity with my roommate E was going with her and G to the Women’s March. (We three are the best apartment you know.)

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017:

It’s okay if you aren’t okay.

[5hfanfiction]

Say You Won't Let Go - Chapter 2

Camila was loving her time in Texas with Ally. Her family has treated Camila like one of their own. They even went as far as getting a couple Christmas gifts for the younger Latina girl, so she wouldn’t be left out when everyone was opening presents. Camila felt loved and safe around them. A safety she hasn’t felt in a while.

It also helps that she’s been talking to Lauren Jauregui from time to time. Lauren has been so nice, and sweet. Incredibly supportive about the channel. On top of all that, she’s hilarious. Every time they speak Camila has a lasting smile.

It was the day before New Years Eve, Camila and Ally were getting ready to go to the movies. Camila’s mind kept wandering to Lauren. When Lauren first wrote to her on twitter she freaked out. She couldn’t help but to tell Lauren over and over how amazing she was. Her phone started buzzing, and her smile grew.

Lauren: When do I get to see that beautiful face? 😏

KC: lol what makes u think im beautiful?

Lauren: well we’ve been DMing for about 2 weeks, & I conclude that even if ur not physically what the world would deem as beautiful, ur personality shines brighter than anything. Ur so funny, and crazy nice. Ur passion for music is undeniable. Thats beautiful. Thats u.

KC: Ur very charming Lauren. im not sure if that’s a good thing 🤔

Lauren: Its good, trust me. Not everyone gets this side of me. Lol

Lauren: Don’t u think u gotta show ur face eventually?

KC: Maybe, idk 🤷🏻‍♀️

Lauren: What are u going to do?

KC: What do u mean?

Lauren: Like with ur voice? Do u want to be bigger than “youtube star?”

KC: I haven’t thought about it. I never thought I’d be good enough for being anything else really. I never even thought I’d have more than 100 followers if im being honest.

Lauren: lol u really thought that? ur crazy gifted.

KC: I cant with ur compliments.

Lauren: telling the truth darling. ur voice is amazing, I’m sure u r beautiful. Ur chill af, with occasional fan girling, ur modest, ur a dork, ur sweet. Ur what this industry needs. Ur what girls will look up to, & boys would want to bring home to meet mom. The whole package.

KC: ahhh ur killing me. Seriously ur words are unbelievable. All this coming from YOU.

KC: Ur so beautiful.

KC: Not ur looks

KC: I mean, yes ur beautiful like that

KC: Why am I so awkward…

Lauren: lol Relax chicken, breathe.

KC: I mean, ur mind. ur words are kind, and inspiring.

Lauren: lol I’m just being honest dork

KC: atleast I’m a cute talented dork 😄

Lauren: Eh, ur ok

KC: lmao sure jan. do the words “unreasonably obsessed” sound familiar?

Lauren: doesn’t ring a bell

KC: Oh really? K. I guess I’ll be leaving! It was nice talking to u.

Lauren: Wait wait, no no. Don’t go. I’m joking

KC: New phone 📱 who dis?

Lauren: Lmao ur an idiot.

KC: 👋🏻

Lauren: Fine if that’s what u want KC. It was nice talking u. Just wanted to let u know I actually think ur talented. I hope u get everything u want in this world.

KC: Seriously, all jokes aside. Thank u, so much Lauren. It means alot. I’m happy I fan girl less when you hmu. Sometimes I’m like “DID LAUREN JUST SLIDE IN MY DMS?” Cus like You’re YOU, & I’m just me. And You telling me I have a nice voice, it’s like AHHHHH

Lauren: You’re not JUST you…you’re amazing.

KC: Uhhh 🙈 Thank you Laur, but I gotta go, going to the movies.

Lauren: Ok KC, hmu later? I enjoy talking to you. :D have a good night.

KC: Potassium

Lauren: what are u talking about?

KC: Potassium. What’s the periodic symbol?

Lauren: K? ….. OH! Wow, u are really a dork. Wow. Bye now. lol 😂

—————————-

It was around 11pm when Ally and Camila left the movie theater. Ally was hungry and Camila never turned down food, so they decided to stop at the Waffle house. They were browsing the menu when Camila got a twitter notification.

@LaurenJauregui: Yooo @KC_LoveOnly where’s that new cover thooo?

She smiled reading the tweet. She had been done with the video days ago, but she was nervous about uploading it knowing that a specific green eyed pop star would watch it. On top of that she decided to cover one of The Holy Trinity’s songs.

@KC_LoveOnly: Girl, when I know that ur a part of my audience, I GOT to make sure its peeeerrrfffecctt!! @LaurenJauregui

“Ally Brooke? Is that you!?!” Camila heard someone behind her say. Ally squealed hopping up from her seat. When Camila turned around her mouth hit the ground. She saw Ally hugging none other than 1/3 of The Holy Trinity, Normani Kordei.

Ally and Normani were best friends before Normani moved to Miami. They talked for a couple months before losing touch.

“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be taking over the world with your voice?” Ally asked excitedly.

Normani laughed, “Well we finally got a break for the holidays, my family came here.”

“Are you eating here alone?” Ally asked noticing no one was with Normani.

“I was going to get some food and head home” she replied.

“No! Come sit with us!” Normani looked towards Ally’s table, eyeing Camila.

“Is she going to be okay?” she asked Ally, noticing Camila was stunned and still had her mouth open.

“Oh, that’s my best friend. I guess she might be a little star struck.” Ally snapped her fingers in front of Camila, who shook herself out of the shock she was in.

Normani laughed while sitting down next to Ally. Camila thought Normani’s smile could kill her.

“I’m Normani,” she reached her hand out to shake Camila’s.

“Y-yeah, I know. I mean, how can I not? You’re you!” Camila rambled. “I’m Camila Cabello.” She said shaking Normani’s hand.

“You’re cute Camila. Relax though, I’m not going to bite.” Camila ducked her head down shyly. “You’re lucky you’re not meeting my bandmates, they can be a little…rowdy. They might bite.” Normani joked, trying to put Camila at ease.

Normani and Ally caught up for a bit while they ate. Normani made sure to include Camila into the conversation, not wanting her to feel uncomfortable. Camila was surprised to see how down to earth Normani was.

“Hey, you girls should come over my house for a little. We can continue to catch up!” Normani suggested.

“That would be so much fun!” Ally exclaimed.

“Are you sure it’s okay if I come? I don’t want to intrude on your friendship reconnection. I can just go back to Ally’s,” Camila said timidly.

“Seriously? Talking to Ally and you has made me feel so…normal. I could use some normality. So yes, I’m inviting you to my house. We will talk, watch a movie, just hangout. Pleasssse come!” Normani begged Camila.

“Okay, okay!”

——————————–

When the girls got to Normani’s house she gave them a quick tour. Ally got to see Normani’s parents after years. She was happy that they still recognized her, and they were glad she was doing well.

They reached Normani’s room, and Camila launched herself onto the king-sized bed.

“This is sooooo comfy,” she said while rolling around. “Adopt me Normani.”

Ally and Normani laughed. Ally pushed Camila over to the other side of bed, and made herself comfortable. Normani turned on the TV, and started browsing Netflix sitting between the two girls.

“So how did you two meet?” she asked the girls, focusing on finding something to watch.

“College—Friends!” Camila shouted. “Please put on Friends. I love it.”

Normani chuckled at her and put on a random episode.

“As she was saying,” Ally continued, “We met in college.”

“Cool, so we are all the same age?” Normani said unsure.

“No, she’s almost two years younger than us. I didn’t want to live on campus and my past roommates were all crazy. I couldn’t afford living on my own, Camila had an ad looking for a roommate. I thought it was a good idea to get to know a roommate before having to live with them.” Ally explained.

“She fell in love with my dorky charm,” Camila said still focused on the TV.

“It’s true,” Ally joked, “Unfortunately.”

“Unfortunately?!” Camila threw her hands up, “Without my nerdy clumsiness, we would’ve never been roommates! I wouldn’t have the world’s best friend. I’d be stuck with Shawn. I love him, but he’s NOT you! I wouldn’t be sitting here enjoying Friends.” She exclaimed.

“You’d still be watching Friends somewhere. Relax. I love you, I’m glad we met.” Ally reassured her.

“Hmmph,” Camila folded her arms turning back to the TV.

Normani laughed at the two girls. “You go to Miami University and you didn’t come to see me?”

“Girl, you were touring by that time,” Ally responded. “How did all that happen by the way? The Holy freaking Trinity!”

Normani chuckled, “Ahhhh, where do I start?”

“Well, I know how you all met. We heard your recent interview,” Ally said.

“Oh, keeping tabs on me?” Normani joked.

At the sound of the interview Camila’s head shot up. She didn’t want Ally to tell Normani about KC. She thought it might be odd, and look bad. They mentioned her in an interview, then she somehow manages to bump into one of them.

“Sorry but no. Actually, Mila—”

“I just stumbled on it, and showed her.” Camila cut Ally off, giving her a pleading look. Ally nodded in understanding.

“It’s cool, happy to be in the company of a fan,” Normani winked at Camila. “Well, I don’t know what to add to that. After meeting Demi, the next day she introduced us to Simon Cowell. He was concerned that we were too young. Me and Lauren were 16, and Dinah freaking 15.”

“Was he mean like on TV?” Camila asked.

“Opposite, he so sweet. We are signed to his label now, throughout the whole process he was so helpful. I mean we were just teenagers trying to chase our dream.” Normani said. “Before signing a contract there was a lot of back and forward with our parents, because of school.”

“That’s awesome!” Camila said.

“Yeah!” She paused thinking fondly of the memories. “It took a lot to get where we are, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

“That’s really cool, I’m so happy for you.” Ally said, hugging her old friend.

“Thank you, Ally.” Normani smiled into the hug.

After the embrace, the girls continued talking. Normani was elated to reconnect with Ally, but she was happier to get to know Camila. She thought the younger girl was adorable and dorky. Camila reminded Normani of Dinah.

The talking died down after about an hour, and the girls watched Friends. It took Ally about 2 episodes before she fell asleep.

“We should probably get going,” Camila said pointing out a sleeping Ally.

“Don’t be silly, stay the night,” Normani said sleepily. “I’ll get you some clothes to sleep in.”

She rubbed her eyes getting off the bed and rummaged through her draws. She pulled out a muscle tank top, and white shorts, handing them to Camila.

“Thank you, Normani. For everything, for letting a stranger stay here—”

“Stop, it’s all okay.” Normani cut her off, as she placed a reassuring hand on Camila’s shoulder. “You’re chill. A little quirky, but cool. It’s nice hanging out with people who aren’t trying to use me.”

“Thank you,” Camila replied giving her a hug.

When she let go of Normani she went to get changed in the bathroom. By the time she got out, Normani was already sleeping.

Camila shut the TV off and got comfortable in bed. She kept plenty of space between herself and Normani, not wanting to wake the older girl up while she used her phone.

She was on tumblr for about an hour, before she put on her headphones and decided to watch her video one more time before uploading it.

In the middle of her video, she got a text from Kellz. They’ve been talking every day since they exchanged numbers. He’s a nice guy. A bit insane, but she loved how care free he lived.

Kellz🎸: I think I just broke my face dude

Milz🎶: What do you mean?

Kellz🎸: I was just drunk fucking around. Running on cars. Fell smashed my face into the ground.

Milz🎶: Oh what different lives we live.

Kellz🎸: Lmao truu. So I’m playing a show in Miami in a couple weeks, u coming right? U get to see how I live first hand.

Milz🎶: For sure, just don’t let me break my face.

Kellz🎸: No promises Milz.

Milz🎶: Oh godddd

Kellz🎸: Turns out, my face isn’t the only thing I broke. Broke my arm to lol

Milz🎶: I’m rethinking this friendship, I think I’m going to get hurt just by being friends with you

Milz🎶: I’m rethinking this friendship, I think I’m going to get hurt just by being friends with you.

Kellz🎸: Nahhhh, u can’t leave me. We haven’t recorded a song yet!

Milz🎶: I thought we were merely writing a song? Now we are recording one?

Kellz🎸: Hell yeah! I can’t wait to chill with u! Explore that creative cool brain of urs.

Milz🎶: I’m not so sure about cool? Lol

Kellz🎸: Bro, just by the things you say when we text, I can tell ur crazy creative. That’s cool as fuck.

Camila felt the bed vibrating followed by an obnoxiously loud ring. After a couple of rings, she felt Normani shuffle around the bed.

“Girl don’t give me a reason to hate you, pick up that damn phone,” Normani grumbled.

Camila held back a laugh, “It’s not mine, grumpy.”

Normani huffed feeling around the bed for her phone. When she found it, she answered annoyed “You better be dying, there is no other reason to be calling at this ungodly hour!” Her toned soften after a moment. “Of course, babe. Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, pausing allowing the other person to talk. “Okay, you know where the spare key is. I love you.” She hung up, and looked at Camila.

“I’m sorry for being grouchy, I don’t like to be woken up. But why are you still awake? Is everything okay?” She said, concerned laced in her voice.

Camila pinched her cheeks, “Care about me already?!” she joked. “I just couldn’t sleep.” Camila yawned, “But I guess I’m getting tired now. Everything okay with your phone call?”

Normani nodded, “Yeah, my best friend is coming in a couple hours. I’m going to head back to sleep until she gets here.” She snuggled up to Ally. “Get some sleep Mila, goodnight.”

“Night Normani.”

Camila posted her video before turning off her phone. She got comfortable and headed to sleep. She was excited to meet one of Normani’s friends, hopefully they were just as chill.

———————————

Lauren was loving every minute of being home. She didn’t realize how much she missed her family. She missed her mother’s forehead kisses, and her father’s bear hugs. She missed hanging out with her siblings, Taylor and Chris. She was happy to see everyone’s faces when they opened Christmas presents from her.

She was more than happy to be talking to KC every so often. She thought the girl was talented, and after talking she liked her dorky personality. She hoped to see her face, but KC won’t let up.

It’s the day before New Year’s Eve, and she was schedule to make a club appearance. She was rummaging through her closet looking for something to wear for tonight when her sister came in and jumped on her bed. “So, what are your plans for tonight?”

“I’m kind of hosting this party at some club. Luckily, it’s not a singing job, just a partying one.” Lauren said, doing a little dance.

“Just don’t party too hard, you know dad doesn’t like your ‘Bad Girl” image. It certainly doesn’t help when you’re actually out there partying.“

Lauren and her dad have had their fair share of arguments about her bad girl tendencies. She’s never been one for rules, even when she was younger. When she went to California for the spring break where she met Dinah, her dad said no but she left anyways. She was grounded until that summer. "Dad will get over it like he always does.” She told Taylor.

Lauren pulled out her phone to listen to KC while she got ready to go. She was bummed when she noticed that KC hasn’t posted a new video since The Holy Trinity interview. Lauren hoped that didn’t scare her away.

@LaurenJauregui: Yooo @KC_LoveOnly where’s that new cover thooo?

Lauren smiled at her phone before locking it and tossing it on her bed. She continued looking through her clothes before picking out a cute black velvet dress.

After she showered, did her makeup, and got into her dress she took a picture for twitter. She was about to post when she got a tweet from K.C

@KC_LoveOnly: Girl, when I know that ur a part of my audience, I GOT to make sure its peeeerrrfffecctt!! @LaurenJauregui

Lauren laughed, and continued to posted her picture.

@LaurenJauregui: We outttttt tonight! 🎉

————————————

It was about 3:30 in the morning and Lauren was stumbling home. While at the club she ran into her old friend Vero. They danced all night and drank way too much.

They made a trip to the bathroom where Vero gave Lauren some coke. It wasn’t her first time doing it, within minutes she was dangerously high.

“Shhhit” Lauren cursed, trying to unlock her front door. She didn’t understand why she had so many keys, but most of all she couldn’t figure out which one opened her door.

“Ahhhhhh, that’s the one!” she said, tip toeing into her living room.

She whispered, “Honey! I’m home,” as she stumbled into an end table knocking over a lamp.

“Shhhhhh! You’re going to wake up papa, you stupid lamp!” she whispered shouted at it, while giggling. She heard someone clear their throat. When she turned around she was met with her fathers disappointed look. “Too late,” she laughed.

“Lauren, if you’re going to come home drunk at 3 in the morning can you at least keep it down. What kind of influence do you think this behavior is on your sister?”

Lauren immediately got angry. She thought she was a great influence on Taylor. She followed her dreams, and became an accomplished artist. Everything she does is for her family.

“I’m a suspectful..susss..successful influence on her.” She stated drunkenly, while her dad looked at her unimpressed, adding to her anger. She tossed her purse onto the sofa, and ran her fingers through her hair.

“Dad whatdoya w-want from me? I’m in what is probably the biggest girl group of this time!” she grinned widely, pleased with her career. “Everyone should be proud and inspired by me” she slurred.

“How can I be proud when I have to sit back and see pictures of my little girl stumbling out of clubs? I just want you to be careful. I don’t want you to do anything stupid Lauren.” Her dad sighed.

“I just go out to blow off steam—”

He cut her off, “What steam? You’re in the biggest girl group!” he mocked.

“Whatever dad. Just let me sssleep this off. Pleasee, yell at me later. You give me a headache” she groaned, rubbing her temples.

He sighed in defeat. “Fine, but here…don’t forget your things.” He picked up her bag to hand it to her. “Listen Mija, I love you and please know I’m proud of –” He stopped when he noticed some things spilling out of the purse. Lauren eyes grew wide when I saw the little baggy of white powder drop in front of his feet.

“Lauren, are you fucking kidding me? You’re stupid enough to bring drugs into my house? Around your siblings?” She looked down, not baring to see the disappointment in his eyes. “You know what! Get the hell out!”

She looked at him shocked, “What do you mean? Where am I supposed to go? It’s practically New Years Eve!”

“I don’t care where you go, but you’re not fucking staying here. I’m not dealing with your bullshit.” He spat. He reached down and grabbed the baggy before walking to the kitchen. “Go with the person who gave you this for all I fucking care.”

Lauren turned around not really knowing what do, she punched the wall until her hand was swollen. She took out her phone about to call the only person she can think of when her brother came downstairs.

“What’s going on Lauren?” Chris asked sleepily rubbing his eyes. She didn’t say anything but bury her face into his chest, as he wrapped his arms around her.

He never seen her this upset before, he didn’t know what to do but he knew not to press the issue.

“Can you take me to the airport?” she mumbled into him. He nodded, releasing her and headed up the stairs to grab his keys. Lauren brought the phone to her ear praying that it doesn’t go to voicemail.

“You better be dying, there is no other reason to be calling at this ungodly hour.”

“Is that offer to go to Texas still available?” Lauren sniffled.

“Of course, babe. Do you want to talk about it?” Normani asked.

“Not really.”

—————————-

Lauren was sitting at the airport, she luckily didn’t have to deal with paparazzi being that it was late. She did have to wait for her plane to be ready, due to the late notice. She sobered up as best to her abilities, which meant puking her guts out in the airport bathroom, and drinking water.

She scrolled through tumblr trying to push the thoughts of her argument with her dad out of her mind. She quickly forgot about everything when she got a notification that KC uploaded a new video. She clicked to watch the video:

“Hey pumkins! As promised I’m here to answer a few questions. I took the liberty to write down them down, as well as the answer. Hope you like!” KC said.

She had written down the questions on notecards with the answers on the back, and held them to the camera.

1. What do you look like?

She turned the card over and showed a horrible drawing of a girl stick figure. The answer read, “I look like a person. I have hair, eyes, a mouth, nose. The whole shebang.”

2. Where are you from?

“I grew up in Florida. I’m just around here and there ;)”

3. What inspires you?

“People. Love. Art itself.”

4. Who are some of your favorite musicians?

“I think Ed Sheeran is fantastic. And Taylor Swift influences me to write.”

5. What do you do?

“Well, this. I post videos, but I guess if you’re asking besides this…I go to college.”

“Okay,” she spoke, “I think that’s enough questions. I must keep some mystery to me. It’s a part of my charm, don’t you think?” She joked. “As many of you know a very talented girl group said they liked my channel. One girl specifically, so this next cover is for her.”

She started strumming.

I don’t admit it, I play it cool

But every minute, that I’m with you

I feel the fever, and I won’t lie

I break a sweat.

My body’s telling,

All the secrets I ain’t told you yet.

I struggle to contain,

The love that’s in my veins,

And how it circulates.

If you could take my pulse right now,

It would feel just like a sledgehammer.

If you could feel my heart beat now,

It would hit you like a sledgehammer.

You’re taken over the beat of my body.

You just don’t let up, don’t let up.

You’re taken over the beat of my body.

But you lift me up, lift me up.

If you take my pulse right now,

It would feel just like a sledgehammer.

So close together, so far apart.

You’re turning me on,

And my fires waiting for your spark.

I struggle to contain,

The love that’s in my veins,

And how it circulates.

If you could take my pulse right now,

It would feel just like a sledgehammer.

If you could feel my heart beat now,

It would hit you like a sledgehammer.

You’re taken over the beat of my body.

You just don’t let up, don’t let up.

You’re taken over the beat of my body.

But you lift me up, lift me up.

If you take my pulse right now,

It would feel just like a sledgehammer.

The truth is out, no stopping now.

I’m getting closer.

I’ve had enough, undress my love.

I’m coming over.

If you could take my pulse right now,

It would feel just like a sledgehammer.

Ooooh

If you take my pulse right now,

It would feel like a sledgehammer.

Hammer, Hammerrrr

If you take my puuuulse

If you could take my pulse right now,

It would feel just like a sledgehammer.

If you could feel my heart beat now,

It would hit you like a sledgehammer.

You’re taken over the beat of my body.

You just don’t let up, don’t let up.

You’re taken over the beat of my body.

But you lift me up, lift me up.

If you take my pulse right now,

It would feel just like a sledgehammer.

She finished strumming, “Well I hope you enjoyed it. Remember, love only.”

Lauren heard a voice clear their throat behind her, “Excuse me, Miss Jauregui the plane is ready.”

“Thank you,” she replied getting up from her seat. She went outside towards the plane, and tweeting something before getting on.

@LaurenJauregui: Listen to @KC_LoveOnly ’s new cover. I’m in love! 😍  I think you’ll like the song choice. She’s amazing, follow her!!

[spillyourspirit]

answer all the questions

1. Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? Because life has this way of letting me fuck up everything for myself I think.

2. Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? Nah.

3. If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? Nah, I smoke.4. Do you find it easy to trust others? Not anymore, no.5. What were you doing at 11PM last night? Picking my roommate up from work and smoking a cigarette.6. You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? Probably the crew.7. What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? Fuck that shit, been there done that.8:Are you close with your dad? I am my father’s daughter, I am my father’s mistakes. I’m easily undone, and I’m no stranger to rage. (the answer is no, but I am a mini-me of my father minus the alcoholism.)9. I bet you kissed someone last night, right? Nah.10. What are you listening to? Movements - Deep Red11. You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? Mountain Dew.12. Do you like hickeys? I’m down for them, sure.13. What time do you go to bed? Depends on the day, currently I’m awake and it’s 4am. 14. Is there someone who continuously lets you down? My damn self.15. Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? Nah.

16. Do you always answer your texts? Hahahahaha, that’s a joke, right?

17. Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? Yes.

18. When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? I live with him, so today.19. Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? Dude, my little brother has been my reason to smile since the day he was born.20. What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? I texted someone I loved them and cried because I fucked up our friendship and relationship period pretty hard.21. Is anyone else in the room with you? I’ve been watching Naruto sitting at the computer, Mikey’s sleeping.22. Do you believe what goes around comes around? Karma’s a bitch.23. Were you happier four months ago than you are now? Fuck no.24. Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? Yeah, see #20.25. In the past week, have you cried? See #20.26. What colour is the shirt you are wearing? Green.27. Do people ever call you by your last name? My maiden name is rad as fuck, wish more people would call me by it. But nah, it’s usually just Delaney or Laney.28. Is anyone ignoring you right now? Yeah, quite a few people.

29. Do you have a best friend? Yeah I have two of those, one isnt talking to me, the other is sleeping in the same room.

30. Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? Nah.

31. Who was your last call/text message from? Dude from work, Eric got sick from eating food at work and so I asked him if he was cool and he replied with ‘hell no tell >insert managers name here

32. Are you mad at anyone? My damn self.

33. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? All of the people I’ve kissed except one have been older than me.

34. How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? hahahahah, 30.

35. How many more days until your birthday? 339 days.

36. Do you have any summer plans yet? it’s Fall, so no. But hopefully I won’t be living in Ohio then.

37. Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? All of my friends of the opposite sex are good friends.

38. Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? Yeah, I havent said anything about relapsing yet so there’s that.

39. Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? Nope, I’m an open book honestly.

40. Have you ever regretted kissing someone? I wish I hadn’t kissed my soon-to-be ex husband or ever went through with any of it. I’m so fucking naive.

41. Do you think age matters in relationships? Age and maturity usually go hand-in-hand.

42. Are you available? I guess you can say that.

43. How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? Three. 

44. If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? my medusa/philthrum back.

45. Do you believe exes can be friends? Depends, I’m only friends with one of my exes.

46. Do you regret anything? I regret High School. Regret wasting my time. Regret seeing anything in him when he saw nothing in me. Regret how the past weeks been treating me emotionally.

47. Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? How thirsty I am and wanting to go to the gas station/on a walk to smoke and clear my mind.

48. Did you ever lose a best friend? Yeah.

49. Was your last kiss a mistake? Not actually.

50. Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? Because he’s pursuing someone a lot closer to him.

51. Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? I left his place and drove and cried, so no.

52. Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? Yeah, he works beside where I work and I watch his kids for a few hours in exchange for cigarettes and weed.

53. What was the last thing you ate? Mcdonalds nugs.

54. Did you get any compliments today? Yes.

55. Where are you going on your next vacation? Anywhere but here.

56. Do you own anything from other countries? Nah.

57. Are most of your friend guys or girls? Guys.

58. Where have you lived most of your life? Toledo, Ohio

59. When was the last time you took a long drive? When I drove to Grand Rapids to see State Champs.

60. Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? Nah.

61. Have you ever TPd someone’s house? No.

62. Who do you text the most? I really don’t text anyone like that.

63. What was the last movie you saw? I rewatched Star Wars Episode 6 the other day.

64. What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? I’m single haha

65. How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011? Four. Nicholas, Tyler, Tanner, and Tyler #2.

66. Is the last person you kissed younger than you? Hell naw, he’s 29.

67. Do you curse around your parents? Yes.

68. Are you happy with where you live? Sure, I love Toledo. Gotta love/hate/love with the city I’m in.

69. Picture of yourself? http://www.feverdre4m.tumblr.com/tagged/me dude

70. Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? If I’m down for you, I’m down for you and you only.

71. Have you ever been dumped? YUP like the trash I am.

72. What do you most like about making out? How a simple kiss goes to making out, to clashing teeth, lip biting and then everything else.

73. Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? Nah.

74. When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? Usually them cause I’m too shy to do that shit.

75. What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? Hands and eyes. But definitely hands.

76. Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? Mikey.

77. Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? Nah.

78. Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name? Nah.

79. What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face? Any kind of fucking attention cause I’m a helpless fucking fuckup.

80. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? I have, and would, sure.

81. Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? Yeah.

82. Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? Naw, I usually fuck up before it gets to that point.

83. Do you miss your last sweetie? Nah.

84. Last time you slow danced with someone? Never.

85. Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met? Yes.

86. How can I win your heart? Coffee and a book, yellow roses and sourpatch kids- maybe even a playlist of your favorite acoustic songs.

87. What is your astrological sign?  Libra.

88:What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Watching Naruto baked as fuck.

89. Do you cook? I’m a bomb ass cook.

90. Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? YUP

91. If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship? Wish at least the person I was interested in wouldnt have fucked with my feelings.

92. Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? I dont fall into anything quickly. Fuck relationships honestly. I do me.

93. What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest? Nice hair, nice smile, beautiful eyes.

94. Name four things that you wish you had! A good paying job, a billion dollars, more tattoos, and another billion dollars.

95. Are you a player? Nah, I’m the game, everyone plays me.

96. Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day? Fuck no.

97. Are you a tease? Fuck yeah.

98. Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? Nope.

99. Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? Yep.

100. Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? I mean if the opportunity arose, sure.

101:Hugs or Kisses? probably kisses.

102. Are you too shy to ask someone out? Yep.

103. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Eyes.

104. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? yes.

105. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it? Nah, gotta respect their relationship dude.

106. Do you flirt a lot? Probably.

107. Your last kiss? was just a kiss.

108. Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012? Yep.

109. Have you kissed anyone in the past month? YEP

110. If you could kiss anyone who would it be? Jesse Barnett probably

111. Do you know who you’ll kiss next? Nope.

112. Does someone like you currently? Said he does but doesnt want to pursuit something that he feels won’t work out.

113. Do you currently have feelings for anyone? YEAH

114. Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? I like shit to be serious but y’all keep playing games so the flings gonna have to do.

115. Ever made out with just a friend? Naw.

116. Are you happier single or in a relationship? I’m not usually a happy person so.

117: (Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.) Are you going to the gas station to grab pop at 5 am? The answer is yes.