nestavadavat

[nestavadavat]

IM GOING INSANE IM GOING INSANE JMGOINGINSANEIMGKUNGGJHBSBS

[nestavadavat]

anyway. i hadn’t read gatsby in a while so last night i picked it up and flipped to a random page because why the fuck not and was hit with this (which I had not fully seen before).

like i thought you guys were exaggerating when you were like “oh nick cannot shut up about gatsby’s smile” and just passed it off as one of those instances where a fandom picks something and blows it up but no. no he’s really like that.

[nestavadavat]

[nestavadavat]

[nestavadavat]

giving birth sucks tbh. not only do you and the baby you’re birthing almost die, usually you shit yourself and often you tear your taint. then you have to push an organ out of your body (placenta) and if even a little of that remains in your body, you can hemorrhage to death or develop an infection that essentially rots your body from the inside out. even if you had a relatively “easy birth”, you bleed for weeks on end. even after that stops, your body and brain is changed for the rest of your life, the pregnancy leeched minerals from your bones, that can cause osteoporosis later. minor urinary incontinence is not uncommon, brain scans of people who gave birth show permanent changes in their brain, you’re never quite the same.

I say all of this not to say giving birth is disgusting but it is a harrowing and visceral experience. society downplays how fucking awful it is and makes it out to be a ~magical~ experience but it isn’t a magical transformative experience for everyone. it can be an extremely traumatic experience for someone who wanted to carry a pregnancy to term, much more so for someone who did not want to be pregnant in the first place or someone who knows their baby won’t survive the birth. anyway, abortion is a right. pregnancy and birth aren’t just inconvenient, it’s fucking awful.

[nestavadavat]

fictional men that would have been better as lesbians (an incomplete list):

lord henry wotton. just imagine a woman who has the worst opinions on everything ever, is a hedonist, ends up getting divorced from her wife but still continues to smoke opium laced cigarettes and go to plays all the time. he sucks but... if that was a lesbian... sucks in a hot way??

jay gatsby. okay so like. no natsby in this version (sorry) but like. see the vision. daisy has this great love affair with a woman and then gatsby leaves and then later goes in disguise as a man to to the exact same scheme as in the book. the drama of daisy having to choose living a life true to herself or a facade is so much stronger if lesbianism is thrown in the mix. plus that means nick might just be cursed to fall in love exclusively with women who are lesbians which is kinda hilarious

grantaire. i love exr so much (enjolras could also be a lesbian tbh and that would also slap) but i think this would be the pathetic lesbian representation we all need. just. like. imagine it. i promise i'm onto something

quincey p morris. lesbian cowboy. that's literally it. just imagine. butch lesbian cowboys. also falls into the pathetic lesbian camp when it comes to lucy fumbling but like. also badass lesbian. the duality.

tom bombadil has a beautiful wife and is a weird trickster spirit. this is perfect lesbian material

feel free to add on

[nestavadavat]

more stobotnik for you all!

[nestavadavat]

pirate paro

[nestavadavat]

gloveless 👐

[nestavadavat]

[nestavadavat]

the statements "clothes don't have gender" and "clothes can and do invoke gender dysphoria and euphoria for many people" can and should coexist.

[nestavadavat]

talking the talk about ending rape culture is easy but you gotta walk the walk too. battling rape culture means blacklisting celebrities who are rapists and supporting celebrities who are survivors. it means chewing out your peers, teachers, family, and friends when they make comments or jokes that perpetuate rape culture. it means calling out sex shaming, victim blaming, cat calling and all the casual byproducts of rape culture. it means educating others and protecting one another. it means believing survivors.  it means never trivializing the sexual abuse your friends may face. it means that when one of your buddies is taking advantage of a drunk person, a sleeping person, a vulnerable person, a young person – anyone who has not given/cannot give consent – you fucking stop your buddy. you stop being friends with rapists, even if its inconvenient awkward and un-fun. we have to root out rape culture from our every day lives and be aware that it unfolds right in front of us. it means we have to do better 

[nestavadavat]

save these (or download them here) to use for posters, social media, zines… whatever u want! it’s never too late to start wearing a mask again :-)

[nestavadavat]

Really a core tenant of good bdsm is deciding what emotions you want to evoke in each other. Humiliation, fear, anger, and helplessness are all just as valid goals as comfort, relaxation, and security by way of experiences you want to have. Feeling otherwise overwhelming emotions in a situation you have some semblance of control over can be deeply cathartic, if done properly.

[nestavadavat]

[nestavadavat]

Though we all know asking for consent is absolutely MANDATORY in all sexual encounters, you have to also be prepared to respond to the request of consent honestly.

That means being ready to say no if you don’t want to do what your partner is asking.

Yes, it is your partner’s responsibility to ask for clear, sane consent.

But it’s also your responsibility to provide an honest answer.

Which means saying no even if you feel bad about it.

Which means saying no even if you are a chronic people pleaser.

Which means saying no even when you’re are terrified to say say.

You don’t have to physically say no, you can say another word or make a certain signal or sound to convey that you are not giving consent, but you NEED to communicate that no.

As much as both you and I wish our partners could read our mind, that is not reality.

If you you say yes when you’re really thinking ‘I don’t know, if you say yes when you’re really thinking ‘no, stop,’ you need to say something.

Ofc it’s then on your partner to then respect this response, stopping and not guilting you for saying no.

But the point is that consent is something that needs all parties to participate. If you are on the receiving end of asking for consent, you need to be honest.

I get that it’s scary.

I get that you might feel awkward.

I get that you just don’t like saying no.

But speaking your mind during sex is integral. Being honest about your feelings has to happen.

Sex is supposed to be a positive experience. Saying no will keep it positive for everyone involved.