#5 headcanons meme

[aurumacadicus]

Witchy AU: Tony/Everyone

Everyone's loving witches! Especially me.

Tony is one of the most powerful witches on the east coast. He's also without a coven, which puts him in a very delicate situation where he can't tell if people are kind to him because they're nice or if they're trying to sway him toward their own coven. He knows it will get worse as soon as he turns thirty, when he can no longer hide behind the thirteen years of mourning that comes with being orphaned by his own coven. He knows he's part of the reason they're champing at the bit to get him in their ranks--most Endlings mourned for a few years and then fell into the open arms of their favored coven, wanting the safety of a large group. Tony is really the only one who has actively avoided joining a new coven that he's ever known of. He doesn't want to lose his heritage, is the thing. To enter into a new coven, he'll have to give up his family's legacy, his last name and take their own, and yes--he doesn't want to give up his family's money, either. Call him greedy. He doesn't care. His mother didn't hit the docks with nothing but a suitcase of clothes to her name, and Howard didn't start his business from the ground up by himself, to have it taken away from their child. But he has nothing but his money and powers to bargain with, and that's exactly what everyone wants. So when hears about a coven made up of other Endlings, who have banded together specifically so that they don't have to give up anything, sure, he's a little desperate when he goes to them and offers them free use of his mansion and an allowance from his fortune so long as he gets to keep his name and legacy. "How big is the allowance?" a guy with blond hair asks, and then gets elbowed swiftly in the gut. "I dunno, like five grand?" Tony says, shrugging. "A year? Kinda stingy," the woman who elbowed him says, narrowing her eyes at him. "...A month," Tony corrects, trying not to sound snide and failing. The Avengers agree. And then collectively lose their shit when they realize he meant five grand for each of them every month.

The Avengers move in. Tony doesn't see them, though. He thinks they might be avoiding him? He once found a hot cup of coffee still sitting on the table. He'd puttered around for a few minutes to see if the owner would come back, but they hadn't, so he'd simply taken it to his workshop with him. He's not sure if this is normal? Tony had rarely seen his father before he died, and while he'd seen his mother a little more, she'd always been busy. Maybe this is just how covens work--meeting up only when necessary, and only as long as it took to come to a consensus. But maybe he shouldn't have assumed that, Tony thinks, blinking at the rest of the Avengers, holding a cauldron of inert sleeping potion and wearing nothing but a red thong. "...Oh," Steve finally squeaks. "Tony," Bruce says pleasantly when no one else moves to speak. "Why are you naked?" Tony blinks again. "Better results when I can absorb more moonlight. And I'm not naked." Everyone looks down, then back up very quickly, blushing. Even Natasha has turned vaguely pink. "Naked adjacent," Sam says after clearing his throat. Clint squints skeptically. "Does that really help?" "Well," Tony begins, and then the moon comes out from behind the clouds, and it hits his cauldron. The cauldron sparks, sparkles, then exudes a billowing of steam. Tony inhales some and promptly passes out.

Apparently, everyone was avoiding Tony because they thought he wanted space. Why else would he duck other more established covens to join their ragtag group? Most of them hadn't even had a coven to teach them their powers. He was the one they were taking cues from on how to be a normal coven. "D...don't do that," Tony says, stunned. He doesn't know what a normal coven looks like, because even his own had felt wrong to him. It was another reason he'd been scared of joining one of the established families--he wouldn't know what was normal and was terrified they'd take advantage of him. "Yeah, we figured that out," Steve says, rubbing the back of his head and looking anywhere but at him. Tony looks down at the blanket they've covered him with, then squints back up at Steve skeptically. He's covered. "He's an Artist," Bucky explains, clapping Steve on the shoulder hard enough the blond grimaces. "He's already got your body memorized and I'm sure we're going to find one of his moving portraits in the studio--" "Goodbye, Bucky," Steve says, solemn, and then clotheslines him. Tony watches them wrestle for a moment, then turns his squint on the rest of the coven. "Is this normal?" "Eh," Clint replies, shrugging, as Sam puts his face in his hands with a sigh and Natasha and Bruce watch to make sure they don't actually kill each other. "Well, get used to me walking around in a state of undress," Tony retorts. "Clothes feel bad when I do magic." "Oh no," Natasha deadpans. "However will we cope. I hope Steve plasters moving portraits of your bare ass all over the mansion." "You can see it any time you want," Tony answers snidely. "I'm easy."

Now that they know they're welcome, the rest of the Avengers are happy to seek him out to chat. Tony has no idea how they've survived this long. Steve's magic fluctuates wildly, and Bucky's sometimes dims to an ember. Bruce's is based in alchemy, and he rarely practices it safely. Natasha and Clint are secretive about what, exactly, their magic can do, but Tony has noticed more spiders in the corners of the room, watching from their webs and not moving. (He doesn't ask about them). Sam seems to be the only one who has any idea what he's doing, and it turns out the only reason he left his family coven is because he had a trauma that snapped his family ties. He's working on rebuilding them, though. "You're the only normal person here," Tony tells him. "Yeah, I figured that out quickly," Sam deadpans, and then, "Can I keep a falcon?" Tony tips his head and tries not to squint at him. Natasha had told him it looked more judgemental than he meant it to. "It's your house too. Just make sure it meets all specifications, get the permits. Err on the side of too much." "How am I supposed to get permits," Sam asks. "Every time I try they tell me the queue is backed up with years' worth of requests." Tony can't help finally squinting at him with all the judgement he can muster. "You're not a coven of Endlings now, Sam. You joined with the Stark Coven. The name means something to people. And by something it means curses." Sam opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. "Did your parents curse people?" Natasha asks, turning from her book. It's the most intrigued she's ever looked. "Not that anyone can prove," Tony replies, and then doesn't say anything else about it, even when everyone pesters him. Sam tries to punish him by getting chickens, quails, and geese, but it backfires because Tony loves chickens.

"Hey, do you know anyone who wouldn't mind fucking me during the waning gibbous?" Tony asks at dinner, ignorant of the way everyone else either spews their beverage or coughs on food. "It's one of the steps for a spell I'm trying out." "ME," Steve bellows, slamming his hands down on the table as he stands up. Tony blinks at him, stunned. Then he blinks at Clint as he lunges across the table to tackle him with a snarl. Then at Bucky trying to leap at him, except Sam gets in his way. He turns and looks at Natasha and Bruce, who are still eating, casual, as if the rest of their coven are not engaging in fisticuffs. "Sex doesn't do anything for me," Bruce says with a shrug, not looking up from his food. Natasha glances at him, then looks up properly, frowning. "Wait, do I count?" "Are you against pegging?" Tony asks frankly. Natasha stares at him for a moment, then stands up, knife gripped tight in her hand. "Look what you've done," Bruce sighs when she lunges at Sam and Bucky and they promptly start screaming in terror. Tony isn't sorry, even if his mouth has dropped open in shock.

[miss-conner3]

En Español: Aquí

“My Ship in 5 Minutes”

Openly using my lamb's name for this template because I don't see the point of hiding it anymore <(UvU)>

A few months ago, I saw a lot of this template in my highlights, and although I didn't dare to do it at the time, yesterday, I decided to make it when I found it again.

I had a lot of fun XD

The original template belongs to @gibbarts (gibb_arts on Twitter) you can also find it on Bluesky with the same name (ouo)/

¡I hope you like it!

Extra: Here are the solo profile pictures because I really liked them /(>u<)\

[lazorbeanz]

Free candy ❌ Free mints ✅

[theelf-online]

Based on that one meme that I've seen going around on twitter but with AkiRen and Futaba (OG + one that inspired me). Did I put way too much effort into this? Yes but it's kinda my thing to over-commit to the bit.

[afterthelambs]

Happy hot girl summer to everyone except him

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

Ectoberhaunt 2023. Day 5. Hunt and Haunt.

~Well, here we go again, good old Ghost Hunger AU~

Description: The Ghost Zone is inherently a violent place. You can hunt or be hunted, there is no other options. However, for some reason the Halfa does not understand what is happening. And no one rushes to explain it. NB! ghost cannibalism is mentioned.

Prompt after memes

Suppose there’s a conventional division among ghosts. Some of them are potential predators capable of hunting their own kind, while others are only able to absorb the surrounding energy and therefore build up power more slowly than hunters.

So, predation is used as a method of survival in poor ectoplasm areas of the Ghost Zone, less often as a means of gaining power. Even less often hunters are created.

It is obvious that the appearance of a hunter who is the son of human ghost hunters in a haunting place without stable sources of ectolasm has caused panic in the society of the dead ones. For the newly formed ghost to have ectoblasts, fangs or ghost sense is a rarity and great luck. So the newcomer had everything and more to be a serious threat. An awful danger for the surrounding spirits…Right?

But Danny doesn’t know the specifics of his new biology ectology!

Even though he’s a hunter, he’s never had a ghost hunger. Probably because thanks to his parents he has an amazing ectoplasm concentrator in the basement. Soon everyone understands that the boy does not attack first. Those who return through the portal never report any losses at all. He does not bite or attempt to capture cores of other spirits. At first, the ghosts think it's a trap. Smart enough for a beginner. Not everyone has the tenacity to pretend to be an idiot to get close to them. But the Phantom never feeds on them. He’s…safe?

What’s more, Danny seems to think they’re a threat to the city. Which is fun and weird. Normally, there is no competition for feeding using human emotion. But the owner of the lair did not like the smell of fear in the air. Is this ghost broken?

When the ghosts who visit Amity realize that the halfa does not know that he can hunt them, rather than just guard his territory...Well, it explains a lot. Everyone agrees not to explain the situation to the boy so that the city behind the portal remains a relatively safe haven during the during a "hunting season" and other troubles in the Infinite Realms.

~~~~~

The problem arises when Phantom begins exploring the Ghost Zone. What if the other hunters make the boy stop being a freak?

In addition, more experienced ghosts may well attack the careless halfa. And Amity Park under the control of a more predatory spirit would be a terrible outcome. Most dead ones near the portal are used to the fact that the area before Wisconsin is open to travel and migration without the threat of being eaten.

All rational ghosts try to avoid the territory of hunters. If you can’t defend yourself, there’s too much risk of being a free meal. It’s much safer to settle down with spirits with similar energy levels at door clusters. If the hunter does not purposefully show up at your lair, you will have a much better chance of keeping the afterlife.

Those of the Ancients who have won their position and those of them who were created for it have become accustomed to isolation. Although all the Ancients have lost the need to eat 'cause they have absorbed enough energy, legends about their past are still be nightmares for all spirits. Just because they don’t need to eat other ones doesn’t mean they won’t. It is clear that a weaker hunter can also be hunted. No reason to risk.

Therefore, how freely and fearlessly Phantom communicates with Frostbite, Clockwork or Pandora is puzzling. Does he feel threatened at all? The Ancients find this experience refreshing. Lil communication without fear makes them feel sympathy for this youngling. Danny is always glad of their company. And the boy is not afraid to express his opinion. It is strange but...pleasant?

Their minions from time to time complain that they teach a potential enemy but it is very difficult to see a possible rival in Phantom. Danny is always in trouble. The youngster is silly and careless. Like a wet kitten that can’t even make a threatening hiss. So Ancients, to their own surprise, don't mind helping him. Why isn’t his naivety annoying?

For example, Frostbite’s trying to teach Danny hunting and tracking techniques because he thinks the little cub doesn’t know how to be what he supposed to be. Meanwhile Danny sees his attempts as a course of self-defense that he can use against ghosts who try to infiltrate his city.

~~~~~Bonus~~~~~

Some insufficiently powerful ghosts mimic predators to scare away dangerous spirits and protect themselves. Skulker is quite pleased that he managed to deceive halfa:

[sf3uuf]

I ♡ MAKING SHITPOSTS OF MY FANDOMS!!!

[doublesuicide19]

Chuuya: I hate Dazai I wish he was dead

Also Chuuya: *saves his skinny ass every single season*

Dazai:

[hijackalx]

Another headcanon round! How would Astarion, Gale, and Gortash respond to their lover getting sick?

ASTARION

he definitely thinks you’re overreacting at first 😹😹 he’ll say stuff like “stop being a baby 🙄 it’s just a small cold” OR he treats you like you’re radioactive because he’s scared of catching it himself 😹 but once he realizes it’s serious i feel like he’s lowkey so sweet…. he doesn’t know which herbs will soothe your stomach ache or the best ways to bring your fever down but he tries so hard 😭❤️ bless his heart for real. he worries about you SO MUCH MORE than he lets on. he’ll consistently check on how you’re feeling or ask you what you need. once you’re back in good health he absolutely teases you with shit like “you would have died without me” LMFAO (the correct response is to tease him back about what an anxiety-ridden mess he was)

GALE

SOUP. SO MUCH SOUP 😹😹😹 he is 100% convinced that a good bowl of soup ALONE will cure anything— as long as he makes it. he takes your illness with a lot of grace actually, i feel like that’s because he knows exactly what to do. he kind of turns into a doting mother 😹. will make sure you stay comfortable, well-fed, and always get your medicine on time. at first it’s really nice— it’ll have you wishing you got sick more often lmao. although i do think he can get a bit overbearing with it. like he doesn’t really believe you when you say you’re feeling better. you have to prove to him you’re fine, and even then he’ll give you some skeptical glances 😹 don’t even think about casually coughing or sneezing around him either, you better hold it back for dear life

GORTASH

he personally won’t take care of you (he’s pretty busy) but will make sure his servants aren’t lacking for even a SECOND. you’re getting around the clock care i’m talking massages, meals in bed, hell even entertainment 😹😹 you want a puppet show? boom. three seconds later people are scrambling to put together a puppet show like their lives depend on it (it does). it honestly doesn’t matter how sick you actually are, he always wants you at the best that you can be, so you WILL be getting top-notch treatment no matter what 😹 he comes to check on you multiple times a day and will make sure you don’t have any complaints lol. unless you’re extremely ill he’s not super concerned, only because he’s confident in his ability to keep his staff in shape 😹😹

[everythingwasnormalhere]

if anyone wanna help me and make art to announce @southparktober ? thatd be great (jst if yall want ofc)

youd get credits and all

and itd be you pickin what to draw n all

i just wanna someone to make stuff like the ones for kyle week like "3 days left" etc etc

its yalls choice but ya XD if anyone wants to pls tell :3

[starryoak]

Making memes out of my headcanons, part 3, swinging bats at hornets nests edition!

[aurumacadicus]

steve/bucky/tony i kinda wanna ask for regency au but let’s do pregnant omega tony and his stupid boys

I did do one for Regency a billion years ago (I think you can find it under both the regency au tag and the 5 head canons tag). I always love stupid boys <3

No one is more surprised than Tony when his test comes back with a second little pink line. He'd thought he'd never be able to have children. His doctor had said he was infertile after Afghanistan, not just from stress but because of secondary internal injuries that hadn't been seen as important as his heart when they'd been operating on him in the cave. Apparently, it was a common misconception that people believed "infertile" was synonymous with "sterile." It was possible to get pregnant, just less likely without medical intervention. Tony was being railed by two super-serumed soldiers on the regular, though, which apparently extended to their sperm count. "It basically counts as medical intervention, doesn't it," his doctors had murmured to each other, as if he could not hear them. So. He's pregnant. He doesn't know who the dad is and quite frankly, he doesn't care. But he does worry how they'll take it. So far they've had a pretty smooth relationship, but mostly because all of their problem-solving consists of 'fuck it out.' Now that he's going to be nauseous all the time and gaining weight and everything, he doubts they'll want to touch him with a ten foot pole, let alone fucking his brains out. But he has to tell them, he supposes, even though he's really not looking forward to them gradually distancing themselves until they can figure out how to co-parent.

"Do you know whose it is?" Steve asks. "It's not even an inch big yet," Tony tells him sternly. "I only found out so early because I have to have checkups after every heat. It'll be three weeks before we can do a DNA test." "Aw," Steve and Bucky sulk, crossing their arms over their chests. Then Steve perks up. "Okay, so. Eight months left to--" "Full-term is forty weeks, nine months left," Tony cuts in. "They always said nine," Bucky says, surprised, then hastily adds, "Not that I'm doubting you, I just didn't expect even pregnancy to change in seventy years--" "Pregnancy and babies have changed a lot," Tony begins. Steve shoulders his way between them, scowling. "Yeah, okay, well, we have time to learn. Great, even! Now we have nine months to prepare." "We?" Tony asks, brows furrowing together in confusion. Steve and Bucky stare at him, then turn to each other and do that thing where they talk to each other with their eyebrows and eyerolls. It takes a few minutes, but then they turn back to him, and Steve firmly says, "Yes, Tony. We. We have nine months to prepare for the baby." "We're all in this together," Bucky adds. "Just because the baby isn't biologically one of ours, we're a team. This is our baby." "...Sure," Tony says dubiously. Somehow, neither Bucky nor Steve look offended by it.

Steve and Bucky jump into research with gusto. Tony has no idea what to think of it, so he doesn't, instead focusing on eating healthy and staying fit. He's older than he'd liked to be for his first (only) baby so he wants to stay on top of his health. He's a little surprised when Steve and Bucky adapt their diets to match his (if with doubled portions), but he figures he appreciates the solidarity, if he allows himself to think about it at all. They get into a deep, deep discussion about the pros and cons of disposable diapers vs cloth diapers. Tony can't even get a word in edgewise as they bicker over liquid absorption in cloth and skin irritation in disposable. Mostly he just waits to see what decision they're going to make. It feels like it's out of his hands. Then they seem to remember he's there, and they ask how he feels about it, and he says, "I'm going to be so tired and gross that I'll just do whatever is easiest." "Oh, we were going to do all the changing," Steve begins, and Bucky proudly adds, "I'm a pro. I changed tons of my sister's diapers," and Tony immediately starts heading toward the bedroom and stripping off his clothes, to their confused delight.

"...Of course we'll have a baby photo shoot," Tony says, bewildered. "I'm famous. We're famous," he corrects after some thought. "I want to put out the first pictures of my child, not have a paparazzo get the scoop." "Oh no, this is a horrifying implication that we didn't consider," Steve answers, putting his head in his hands. Tony stares at him, because this has not clarified anything. He turns his attention to Bucky. "Huh?" "The doctors made it pretty clear that this should be your only baby," Bucky offers hesitantly. "And we thought we should... appreciate every piece of it? So we thought doing some professional photos of you and your bump would be nice." "Oh," Tony says, brows furrowing together. "Um. I guess that sounds okay. Are you sure?" His hands come up to rest on his stomach, palms sliding over his baby bump. "I've got a lot of stretch marks. They're kind of ugly." "Every part of you is beautiful, Tony," Steve scolds. "Do you know how hard it is for me to not lick them? I am constantly exercising restraint." "It's true. He's very annoying when he complains about it," Bucky assures him. Tony raises his eyebrows. "I didn't need convincing. Steve is not subtle when he decides he wants to sketch me." "I'm totally subtle!" Steve exclaims. Tony pulls up his shirt a little. Steve's eyes immediately drop down to his stomach, pupils dilating, fingers twitching before he curls his hands into fists. "Oh my god," Bucky says, stunned, because apparently he'd never noticed before. "IS IT MY FAULT TONY IS SEXY IN ALL FORMS," Steve bellows defensively, and Tony responds, "It's too close to my afternoon nap to get horny, so keep it together. You can sketch me sleeping." Steve punches the air with a cheer. Bucky buries his face in a pillow to try and muffle his laughs. It doesn't work.

Nearer the end of his pregnancy, Tony eschews maternity wear and just puts on one of the alphas' shirts. Everyone, from their fellow Avengers to random people on the street, coo about how sweet and cute it is. Tony has always sort of prickled at the idea that he needs an alpha in his life to be whole, and prickled more at the whispers that he needs an alpha to control him. Not all of his decision to hold off mating was because he couldn't find someone he wanted to settle down with; part of it was also worry that any prospective alpha was holding out to do just that, wait until he was trapped to control him. He doesn't feel that way about Steve and Bucky though. They make him feel... safe. Wanted, even. So sometimes he likes to leave the tower wearing one of their shirts. It gets people to give him space. (And maybe he feels all warm and gooey inside when people gently rib him about it. But that's his business.) Steve and Bucky have never been in more pain in their lives. Tony kicks out of his shoes and pants as soon as he gets home, complaining about his swollen feet and ankles, so he's walking around in nothing but one of their shirts and maybe underwear, because he's complained about the waistband digging in uncomfortably the bigger he's gotten. How in the fuck are they supposed to cope? He's literally never been sexier. They're trying very hard not to be neanderthals about it, but it's difficult when he waddles around the penthouse, smelling of them and himself and baby, wearing nothing but a shirt and cradling his bump. It's a good thing this is his only baby because if they had to deal with this one more time they simply wouldn't let him off his back for ten months. Tony's smug about it when he notices, which makes it worse. He's so attractive when he's smug. It's not fair. (Except the suffering is worth it, when Tony coyly peers over his shoulder at them and lifts the back of his shirt up over the curve of his ass invitingly.)

Bonus: Tony has the baby and Steve cries a lot. He's too scared to hold her so Bucky lets him cradle his hands as he holds her. Tony supervises closely before finally saying, "Well, that was a lot," and promptly falling asleep sitting up. Steve and Bucky gape at him.

[nervousbelieverstarfish]

So what if Gorilla is a veteran and he can't speak because he has PTSD

[edenfire]

🗡❤️ you're nothing without me ❤️🗡

I just finished all of my planned pieces for shuake week👀 so I decided to take a break and fill out one of these ship charts💗💞

these are just my headcanons, so don't worry about whether or not it's accurate to what you interpret~♡

[hana-loves-bumblebees]

Headcanon that every time Denmark sends a “rate my outfit” picture to the group chat Sweden replies with this no matter how revealing the outfit is or not:

[kirbykonka]

AU where Risotto lives but he’s just pissed that THAT kid nearly killed him