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brf-rumortrackinganon · 3 months ago

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Harry’s Birthday Weekend PR

Don’t mind me, I’m just making a list here…

Before we get into it, the Emmys are tomorrow so any exclusive attention Harry or Meghan might get will be quickly pushed out of the news cycle by the red carpet. (If you're not familiar, the Emmys are the E in EGOT and recognize accomplishment in television. This year's ceremony is hosted by Eugene and Dan Levy and will mark the 25th anniversary of one of my favorite shows of all-time, The West Wing.)

Anyway, let's see how the fauxyals are celebrating this weekend. No links today because I'm already a bit queasy from painting.

September 10--

How Prince Harry plans to spend his 40th birthday - with help from Meghan Markle (Page Six exclusive)

September 12–

Bryony Gordon: What my friends Harry and Meghan are really like (Daily Mail exclusive)

Who's who in Prince Harry's 40th party posse? And will he let his hair down? (Daily Mail exclusive)

Prince Harry: I was anxious about 30, I'm excited about 40 (BBC exclusive statement)

Prince Harry shares the best gift he's ever received ahead of 40th birthday (Page Six)

September 13–

Pap photos of Meghan and Archie in California. Archie is cropped out of the photos. (Apparently the photos were a People exclusive from September 4th)

Prince Harry's thoughts on turning 40 and how Duke plans to celebrate with family and inner circle (Daily Mail)

Prince Harry tells of his excitement at turning 40 ahead of his birthday celebrations this weekend (Daily Mail)

The problem with Harry in royal circles? He's left behind feelings of disgust, is accused of wreaking Biblical vengeance...and some vow never to speak to him again (Daily Mail exclusive)

Prince Harry reveals the 'best gift' he's ever received as he prepares to celebrate his 40th birthday at home in California with 'close friends' (Daily Mail)

Prince Harry on turning 40: My mission is to do good in the world (Telegraph)

How the Queen Mother spent her fortune - and the millions Prince Harry is set to inherit from her (Telegraph)

Prince Harry's troubling admission amid Meghan Markle's 'absence' on trip (Mirror)

Prince Harry 'could never have envisaged his life as it is now' when he turned 30 (Mirror exclusive)

Prince William 'sent last-minute text to Prince Harry in olive branch move' (Mirror; remember, olive branch is a Sussex PR phrase)

Prince Harry hit with warning before 40th birthday as he 'wants one thing so badly' (Mirror)

Prince Harry's sweet Archie and Lilibet update could be painful for King Charles (Mirror)

Prince Harry's cryptic statement on 'fresh perspective' as painful feud rumbles on (Mirror)

Prince Harry issues surprise message about 'his mission' to mark his 40th birthdhay (Mirror)

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle 'invited to UK for Christmas' by forgotten family (Mirror)

Prince Harry facing up to 'saddest part of exile,' says royal expert (Mirror)

'Sad reason Prince Harry is determined to give Archie and Lili perfect childhood' - expert (Mirror)

Prince William's devastating text to Prince Harry that left him at a loss over next steps (Mirror)

Meghan Markle's UK return date 'revealed' amid Prince Harry Christmas royal reunion rumors (Mirror)

'Here's the real reason Prince Harry has grumpy look in photos', royal expert claims (Mirror; royal expert is Ingrid Seward and she says the grumpy look is because Harry doesn't want to be photographed)

Prince Harry's special tribute to Princess Diana in his Montecito home (Express)

Prince Harry's heartbreaking last moments with late Queen revealed (Express)

Prince Harry says he's 'excited' to turn 40 in birthday message: 'A fresh perspective on life' (People)

September 14–

Meghan is dubbed 'Duchess Difficult' by 'terrified' US staff as source claims she throws 'tantrums' and 'makes grown men cry' - while 'enabler' Harry is increasingly isolated with his closest friend his bodyguard-for-hire (Daily Mail)

King Charles 'will reach out to Prince Harry on his 40th birthday' (Daily Mail)

How conflict over fashion industry contacts sparked tension in Meghan and Kate's relationship (Daily Mail; remember, any article that lists Meghan first is Meghan PR)

Prince Harry's 'best friend': The security guard who has royal's back for more than a decade (Daily Mail)

When Prince Harry was the cheekiest member of the Royal Family (Daily Mail)

Harry at 40: Prince will be worried about 'financing' next decade says royal biographer (Mirror)

Prince Harry to receive olive branch from King Charles with huge gesture on his birthday (Mirror; olive branch is a Sussex PR phrase)

Prince Harry 'relegated from royal heir to Meghan Markle's sidekick' ahead of milestone birthday (Mirror)

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's neighbors in California are 'fed up' with couple (Mirror)

Truth behind Prince Harry's final birthday present from Diana weeks after tragic death (Mirror; Spare recap)

'Cheeky' Prince Harry's daring escape from palace prompted frantic search (Mirror)

Princess Diana's nickname for Prince Harry resurfaces as fans all say same thing (Mirror; the nickname is "my little Spencer")

Royals won't 'trust' Prince Harry again amid 'fractured' relationship, expert claims (Mirror; the expert is Chris Ship)

Meghan Markle question that meant Prince Harry 'lost a friend' (Mirror)

Princess Diana's brother's 'warning' to Prince Harry over Meghan Markle (Mirror)

Harry thought he could 'step in' during Royal crisis but William 'drew a line in the sand' (Mirror)

Hidden reason Prince William 'cut ties' with Prince Harry revealed by expert (Mirror exclusive)

Prince William won't make birthday call to Prince Harry as key reason revealed - 'don't even speak' (Mirror exclusive)

Prince Harry's pal's 5-word verdit on his life in US with Meghan (Express)

King Charles extends olive branch to Prince Harry (Express)

Meghan Markle preparing to 'take off the gloves' in plans for tell-all memoir (Express)

Prince Harr's pal 'refuses to speak to him' after private remark about Royal Family (Express)

Rare boost for Prince Harry who's 'more popular than King Charles' in US before birthday (Express)

Prince Harry and Prince William could take years to speak again (Express)

Prince Harry insists he will 'always love' the UK despite unpopularity with Brits (Express)

Prince Harry takes key steps to give 'trauma-free childhood' to Archie and Lilibet (Express)

Prince Harry is unhappy in California and filled with regret (Express)

Prince William will 'not call' brother Harry on his 40th birthday as pair no longer speak (Express)

Prince Harry snubbed by 2 celebrity pals for his birthday (Express)

Prince Harry's birthday woes as deeply unpopular in UK (Express; or something like that - the Express's website has a ton of phishing ads on it)

Prince Harry's one skewed 'belief' over UK security pleas and King Charles's position (Express)

Prince Harry reveals biggest regret about his mum Diana as milestone birthday approaches (Express)

POLL: Should the Royal Family wish Prince Harry a happy 40th birthday? (Express)

Prince Harry's heartbreaking 11-word remark about late Queen as he reveals 'real problem' (Express)

Meghan Markle is a 'dictator' who 'terrifies' staff, has 'reduced grown men to tears', bombshell Hollywood Reporter expose claims (New York Post)

#harry's birthday #sussexes #brf #pr shenanigans

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kinglivv · 4 months ago

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Nicknames

Kate Lethbridge-Stewart x g!n Reader

Summary: The minute you meet Kate Stewart, you christen her “Katie” with a smirk and a shake of her hand. She thinks she hates you for it, until she doesn’t.

Warnings: Implied sex, implied risk of violence

You call her Katie. No one is allowed to call her Katie.

At first, it pisses her off. Every once in a while, you flounce off the TARDIS, trailing after the Doctor, and smile at her a “hi Katie!” because you know it winds her up. You cause whatever necessary destruction to the UNIT office, narrowly avoid an alien invasion and disappear with a “bye Katie!”, leaving her with a migraine and stacks of incident reports.

Her staff think it’s funny, in a sort of distant way because anyone seen mimicking that behaviour would get their head bitten off. Mel finds it bemusing. Kate didn’t even know where you’d gotten it from. The Doctor had introduced you two with a grandiose “this is Kate Lethbridge-Stewart, Commander of UNIT and daughter of one of the greatest men I ever knew.” Instead of looking in-awed, you’d smirked, shook her hand and winked “nice to meet you, Katie.”

She tries to ignore it. She won’t be swayed by the Doctor’s companion mocking her, someone half her age and probably half her experience and intellect. She gets on with the job, runs the most clandestine government office excellently and puts up with your visits every once in a while.

It doesn’t strike her just how interesting you might be until she bumps into you at Donna’s birthday doo.

It really wasn’t her scene, parties and late nights. She’d prefer a glass of wine, a book and a bubblebath. But she finds herself at Donna’s house one Saturday evening, celebrating the former companion’s 40th and sat on the sofa chatting with the great and good of the Doctor’s friends. You muscle in through the crowd of bodies, gift bag in hand.

“Hi love!” You cry over the the music and chatter to Mel who’s curled up on the other end of the sofa from Kate, “Where’s the main woman?”

“Oh, out in the garden I think,” Mel waves vaguely, bringing you in for a hug, “chatting with Rose.”

“Ah,” you hold up the bag, “present from the Doctor.”

“The Doctor does presents now?” Kate raises an eyebrow.

“When I remind him to, Katie,” you smile, “you know what he’s like.”

“That’s very caring of you,” her tone is guarded. She doesn’t exactly like you, and she’s prodding.

“He leaves people behind,” you shrug, “they deserve to know they’re remembered.”

Kate watches in confusion as you melt away back into the party.

It doesn’t strike her as flirting until… well.

UNIT picks you up in the middle of the night, sometime late in the autumn. There was an alien incursion imminent and Kate was panicking. They couldn’t find the Doctor anywhere and whilst she resented running to him for help, the dozens of red dots on the radar were blinking closer and closer to Earth. Colonel Ibrahim suggests the next best thing - you of all people would know where the Doctor was.

They track your location, Kate sends out a team and not fifteen minutes later, you stumble into the control room.

When she says stumble, she means it. You’re in a little dress, heels and… tipsy.

“Seriously,” she says to Ibrahim, “Kraxon invasion on the horizon and this is the solution you’ve brought me?”

He merely shrugs. “You asked for them,”

“Katie!” You swagger over to her where she’s sat at her desk with a pout. “You interrupted my night out.”

“Yes, well, sorry about that,”

You lean on her desk grinning down at her. She notices that your eyes are a much lighter E/C than she thought.

“You asked for me?” you stage-whisper. You cross your legs, skirt riding up to show more thigh.

“There’s a bit of a situation-“

“You know if you wanted to see me you could just call,”

“Do you need a coffee or something to sober you up, because -“

“Did you say Kraxon?” You interrupt. She sees something click in you and you look up at the screen looming over the room.

“Yes,” she stands up, suddenly feeling a little too hot and a desperate need to put some space between you two. “They’re coming from the east - we think Mars. We’ve been tracking them for days and so far all defences have failed. We’re reaching the eleventh hour with this and we were hoping you might know where to find the Doctor.”

You don’t look like you’re listening. You’re staring at the screen intently.

“Y/N, we really don’t have -“

“Radiation,” you say.

“Radiation?” She repeats.

“They’re extremely susceptible to it. Can you defences field them towards… say Chernobyl? That will finish them right off.” You swing your legs a little.

Kate looks at you. At the screen. At Colonel Ibrahim. She swears under her breath - of course.

“Get to it,” she nods to him, and the command deck springs into action. In the middle of it all, you sit smiling at her. The colour of the dress really does brings out your eyes. She wants to hate you, tottering into her office, wearing something incredibly distracting and solving the headache that’s been keeping her awake for days.

“Thank you,” she offers, squeezing your arm.

You smirk at her, and she’s fairly certain you’re too intoxicated to fully comprehend what you’ve just done.

“Anything for you Katie,”

After that, you play on her mind constantly.

Kate tries not to think about it, but you’re everywhere. In her dreams, her case reports. She can’t stop thinking about you in that dress, that cheeky smile. “Katie,” echoes in her head and suddenly she doesn’t hate it as much as she once thought she did. It’s a teenage infatuation - she’s never felt it before. Not for her son’s father, not for her ex-wife. It’s borderline embarrassing, and she does her best to ignore it, giving you cold stares when you flirt and deflecting Mel’s pointed questions. She was the Commander in Chief of the Unified Intelligence Task Force. She was not lusting after one of the Doctor’s companions just because they had some brains and showed a bit of skin.

It doesn’t strike her as anything serious until the Toymaker incident.

It was only meant to be a demonstration so you and the Doctor could fully comprehend the severity of the situation. However, she hadn’t quite considered in that moment what she might say once under the influence of the Toymaker’s waveform.

She takes off the Zeedex.

“Hi,” says the Doctor.

“Hi…” she frowns.

“How was your day?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“Just curious,” you pipe up.

“You’re nosy,” she snaps. “All you do is talk.”

“What if I like talking to you, Katie?”

“Don’t call me that!” Kate snaps. She begins to move towards you and thats when the guards grab her and snap it back on.

She comes back to herself. She looks at you and sees the tears in your eyes, and you see the moment she registers how she’s made you feel. She opens her mouth to say something, but someone else gets there first and she’s left listening to them like white noise, still staring at you.

Once it’s all over, she catches you in the corridor between the control room and the her office. She can’t bear the thought of you upset, and she grabs your arm before you can disappear and before she can think to hard.

“Sorry,” she stammers, “about earlier.”

“It’s okay,” you reply.

“No,” she shakes her head, “I’m really sorry.”

“It’s alright,”

“I could see you were upset.”

“You didn’t mean it.”

“I’m not sure you know that,” her hand is still on your arm, rubbing circles.

You look away, up the corridor, shifting slightly beneath her grip.

“Do you really hate the nickname Katie?” You whisper.

She frowns. “That’s it? That’s what’s bothering you?”

“It’s nothing,” your guard slams shut and you move to pull away, but her hand tightens.

“I don’t mind it,” she confesses. “I mean, I hated it. Initially. But now… now not so much,”

She’s close. She’s close and she shouldn’t be, because she’s meant to be the serious, in-control boss. She has a reputation, priorities…

You lean up and kiss her. It’s light and cautious, a mere few seconds as your hand cradles her face and all thoughts leave her brain. When you pull back, she doesn’t move, breath ghosting your lips.

And then she surges back in and effectively pins you to the wall. She kisses you like she’s dreamed about, like she’s wanted to for months, even if she hadn’t admitted it to herself. Your arms wrap around her and you kiss her like she’s oxygen, like you’d die in this moment without her to anchor you. You probably really would have died that day if it weren’t for her and you whimper against her lips, feeling her warm and alive beneath your hands. You want her clothes gone, you want to drag her into her office, you want -

There’s a cough. You break apart and the Doctor smirks from the end of the corridor. “You wanting dropped home or what?”

After that, the nickname “Katie” strikes her as a prayer.

It’s a whisper in the dark, it’s a moan against her neck as she does whatever sinful things she wants to you. It’s a murmur in crisp sheets, it’s a laugh at the dinner table. It’s her name in your phone and it’s written at the top of Christmas cards. Katie is synonymous with you. She can go out there, be Commander Kate Lethbridge-Stewart, and come home to you and be your Katie. Without you, Katie doesn’t exist and she isn’t anyone.

You spend a lot of time around her lately. The Doctor’s moving on - some girl called Ruby, Kate thinks - but you don’t seem to mind or notice. You’ve got a job at UNIT now, and Kate’s rather glad you’re posted a few floors below her because she’s not sure she could manage with the distraction at work as well as at home. You wake her up with cups of tea and kisses in the morning, and greet her in evenings with dinner and - if she’s lucky - matching underwear beneath your clothes. Her obsession with you shifts from lust to something more serious without Kate quite realising. More and more of your stuff has gravitated into her flat. Her grown-up kids have started asking questions.

She comes home one evening and finds you stood at the stove, stirring a pan and humming along to something on the radio. She dumps her handbag on the table, wraps an arm around your waist and presses her chin into the crook of your neck.

“Hello darling,”

“How was work?” You twist your head and press a kiss into blonde hair.

“The usual. What’s cooking?”

“Spaghetti bolognese,”

“Delicious,”

You snort. “It’s the third time I’ve made it this week, babe,”

“I’ve not had time to food shop,” she groans, “a task for Saturday.”

“We’ve gone all domestic,” you tease. It was true. What had started as a rather physical infatuation with Kate Stewart had at some point melted into easy co-habitation. She was a different women these days to the one you’d met on that control deck. Warmer. Free.

“Yeah well,” Kate’s thumb rubs circles in it’s all too familiar habit, “for that to be true you’d have to move in with me.”

“Oh?”

“What do you think?” She squeezes your side.

“A million times yes, Katie.”

#kate stewart x reader #kate lethbridge stewart #kate stewart #kate lethbridge stewart x reader #unit #doctor who #jemma redgrave #jemma redgrave x reader #jemma redgrave imagine #kate stewart imagine #bernie wolfe #doctor who imagine #gender neutral reader

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chaithetics · 1 year ago

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Can you please do something like youngest Roy is secretly dating Stewy and he sees Lucas Mattson hitting on her. And he gets jealous and wants to go public with their relationship thank you!!!!

Jealous Disclosures

Pairing: Stewy Hosseini x f (Roy) Reader

Word count: 4.6K

Author's note: Thank you so much for this request Nonnie! I'm sorry for the delay in getting it out to you! It's been busy and I take a bit longer with jealousy/find it harder to write. I really hope you enjoy this, please do let me know! Also, this is obviously not proofread lol. I hope you all enjoy it and would love feedback :)

Chapter/content warning: 18+ MINORS DNI, established/secret relationship, some smut, jealous Stewy, icky Lukas Matsson, and douchey, douchey Roman! (Sorry about that).

*****************************************

It was Kendall’s 40th birthday party. You knew that this event was going to be something else, Kendall Roy always went above and beyond for a party, especially when he was in these kinds of states. Your more timid nature in comparison to your siblings' abrasive one meant that you naturally weren’t the biggest fan of big events but you could and would be able to suck that up for a night for your older brother.

You and Connor were the only ones of your siblings to have been officially invited. It was especially tense amongst Roy siblings at the moment, which was saying a lot because frankly, when wasn’t it? Fortunately not being involved at Waystar meant that you didn’t have to bite the bullet and deal with the tension like the middle three Roy children did. But you certainly still felt its effects.

You were in a corner chatting away with Rava, you’d gladly clutched to her company as soon as she had arrived despite the fact that she initially wasn’t intending to stay for long. She was the nicest and most genuine of any of the partners that the Roys had ever brought back to the family. Well other than Willa you quickly thought, you liked Willa and had from the get-go, she was down to earth and easy to get along with. She also made an impressively good balance to the often well-intending but very chaotic nature of your eldest sibling.

“Wow wee, Little Bo Peep!” A voice blurted, grabbing your attention and forcing you to turn. You found that Roman had awkwardly jumped onto the seat next to you with a poor landing that he brushed off as he completely ignored Rava, solely focusing his attention on you.

“Wait what? Is that a nickname? What kind of nickname is that? And Rava was talking-”

“The kind that losers like you get.” He instantly quipped back.

“How charming.” You sighed as you took a sip of your drink.

“You didn’t bring a date?” Roman questioned.

“Rava and I were having a conversation, Ro.” Roman just looked at you blankly. “Remember Rava? Kendall’s wife for over a decade, the mother of your niece and neph-”

“Hey Rava,” Roman says turning to face her for a brief second before turning his attention back to you, Rava just scoffs, already exposed and more than used to these antics. “So, did you bring a date?”

“No, did you?”

“Not tonight didn’t really feel like it.” He says dryly and then looks back up at you.

“Fair enough.” You respond. Anxiously waiting.

There’s bound to be more. There’s always a biting and inappropriate comment seconds away from leaving Roman’s mouth.

“But so, are you like seeing anyone?”

“What the fuck Roman?!” You spoke and Rava had an expression of disbelief over the audacity of Roy men but not in shock, she was well acquainted with it.

“Well, I’m not asking because I’m interested. Because trust me, I’m not.” He says with that proud, troublemaking smirk.

“Oh, my god.” You sigh, rolling your eyes at him.

“Perfect! I’ll take that as a no!” Roman practically leapt out of his chair in the most chaotic way possible. He pinched your arm once he was out of his chair as he grabbed your arm to pull you along.

“Ow!”

“Come on, I barely touched you. I want you to meet someone.” Roman said as he held your arm in his grip leaving to navigate the crowd. “You have treehouse access right?”

“I was talking to Rava, Rome!” You said trying to squirm your way out of his grip.

“She’ll still be there and if not, you can get brunch and get drunk off mimosas and cry over those really mean but rich Roy men.” He teased as he said the last half of that sentence in a mock crying voice.

“Jesus, Rome!” You sighed. “Who are you introducing me to?”

“Lukas Matsson.”

“Wait what?” You halted in your tracks making Roman stop his walk, he turned to face you looking irritated that you’d delayed his plans. You weren’t too familiar with the name but you recognised it, certain that Kendall had mentioned it earlier in the week.

“Kendall won’t give me fucking treehouse access!” Roman practically shouted, loud enough to be heard over the party, and then his voice quietened down to a more reasonable volume. “And Matsson’s like a weird, bored giant apparently so I’m introducing you two. I don’t know, maybe money once removed from the family business is new money’s type?”

“Before we even get into what you just said, did you only come to Kendall’s party because of that guy?” You sighed and asked looking at Roman. He scoffed and looked down for a moment, kicking at nothing.

“It’s in our name isn’t it?” He looked back up, with a smirk on his face.

“Oh my god Rome.”

“What, come on. You’re my little sister, not my mom so maybe quit that tone, yeah? And maybe Matsson will be a philanthropist and you can get off your moral high horse and you two can fuck it out and I’ll be namedropped in your wedding speeches. Doesn’t sound too shabby for a Roy does it?” Rome quipped, in his cartoony, douche voice, signalling that talking to him was a losing battle. “Just get me in, maintain a conversation for a couple of minutes and I won’t tell everyone about that summer with mom.”

“You’re such a tool.” You huffed out and started walking towards the treehouse.

“You adore me.” Roman teased as he held your arm less tightly than before as you made your way over.

“So, as the adored older brother you are, you’re trying to pimp me out for a business deal?”

Roman just laughed at that and didn’t answer. But that verbal silence minus the laugh was more than enough of an answer. You entered the treehouse with surprisingly little fuss. You looked around and raised an eye at Roman.

“The Swedish giant over there. Come on, get that award-winning therapist smile out. If you diagnose him with something in five minutes, I might say happy birthday to Ken-doll.”

“You’re literally the biggest jerk of my brothers right now, you know that right? And I have three, so that kind of says a lot.” You said quietly, as Roman and you made your way over to the tall blonde man that looked bored out of his brains. “Full disclosure, I’m telling Ken about this.”

“Ugh, you’re such a bitch. Do you really need to be a narc?” Roman said as you both continued to walk over.

You rolled your eyes at your brother, as you got closer you were able to fully see the tall blond man. Personally, you thought it was almost rude, the way he was sitting and playing some crappy game on his phone, looking the most bored you’d ever seen someone. He was like a child dragged along on errands with their parent but wanting to be anywhere but there. Roman started the conversation with him, he said your name as a means of introduction and the Swede visibly perked up slightly.

“The youngest Roy finally comes out to play!” Lukas said with the look of an overexcited child.

“I suppose so.” You pause for a second. “It’s nice to meet you, Lukas.”

“Romey, I think you should get your sister a drink, she looks thirsty…”

You shudder at that, he hadn’t given you good vibes and this was uncomfortable, you looked at Roman to beg him not to leave you alone with Matsson but he completely ignored you and went off.

“So you’re not in the family business essentially at all, right?” Lukas asked as he quirked his brow as he looked you up and down.

“Nope, my involvement is pretty non-existent.” You paused for a moment watching him. Rome would owe you big time for whatever the fuck this is you thought. You hated it. “But based on my brother’s eagerness over you, I’m assuming that you’re looking at an in?”

“To the business or the family?” He has a large smirk on his face as if he’s said the wittiest thing ever. Lukas leans forward in his chair watching you intently.

“I was meaning business but I guess there’s not much separation in family or business matters there.” Lukas raises an eyebrow briefly at that, he’s not surprised at that observation but he is a little taken aback at your air of candour.

But that’s how you are with everyone. You tell yourself that if Roman didn’t want you to say such things, he wouldn’t have left you alone, he knows you. He was practically asking for it by bringing you into this awkward mess of an interaction.

“The business potentially, I suppose the family is a bit more complicated…” He teases.

“Buy into Waystar, you’re in the Roy’s den somewhere.” You respond somewhat cynically and absentmindedly as you look away trying to find Roman or well any familiar face.

“Well, Miss Roy-” The way he says it makes you shudder and you immediately correct him.

“Dr. Roy.” His eyebrows raise again, he looks borderline amused and laughs a little. He has the nature of a spoiled child in a tall, 40-something-year-old’s body you think.

“Dr. Roy. Sorry, you’re not quite what I was expecting.”

“Why, did you meet my sister first? Then Rome?” You quip back with a dry chuckle.

It wasn’t the first time and you knew it wouldn’t be the last time that somebody had said something to that effect, often because of what they’d assumed based on either their interactions with your family members or the general reputation of your family.

“I haven’t met her yet. But no, you’re just different- which I’d heard of course, but still. It’s different seeing different in the flesh you know?” “I guess so.” “Not a bad thing though.”

“Well thanks, I really needed that ego boost.” You sigh.

He licks his lips and leans even closer, “Did you maybe want to head out? I’d love to pick your delightful brain amongst other things-”

“How the fuck did Ken get you here Matsson?” Stewy’s voice cuts in, more serious than usual.

Lukas doesn’t seem to notice and they must be acquainted you think, it doesn’t surprise you though. If Ken knows him, Stewy’s bound to, and regardless of Ken, Stewy magically knows everyone. You look up at Stewy, feeling slightly more relaxed as he stands near your chair. He doesn’t look at you, not even for a second which is unusual for him, even at public events. There’s always some acknowledgement in his eyes at the very bare minimum.

You knew that Stewy was coming tonight but you didn’t expect to see him so soon. Like every event you both attended, your entrances and exits were perfectly timed. Coordinated flawless, unsuspicious executions. You’d come 3 hours earlier than Stewy to this and you’d leave with at least an hour gap between you both. That had been the plan but you didn’t think it had quite been the 3 hours yet, just over 2 hours you thought. It made more sense optics-wise for you to be here longer and Stewy to just pop through.

“Oh, Hosseini- what a sight for bored eyes you are man,” Matsson says as Roman appears.

“There, slurp up.” Roman’s eyes hesitantly shift to Stewy as he hands you the mysterious alcoholic drink for your ‘thirst’.

“I’m not drinking that.” You quickly respond, giving the drink back to Roman and he rolls his eyes, nonchalantly taking a generous sip from the glass as if to prove a point.

“Shouldn’t you be in a bathroom with Kendall somewhere?” Roman directs at Stewy.

“No, unfortunately, we’re waiting. They’re all occupied.” His eyes meet Roman’s but before they do he finally makes eye contact with you, his gaze is firm and he doesn’t look impressed.

The whole energy of this interaction is making you severely uncomfortable. You’d seen and heard of Stewy giving others non-impressed glances and quips but you’d never seen him make eye contact with you before with an expression like that. That paired with Roman and Matsson playing some weird business game of chicken at Kendall’s birthday was not how you wanted to spend the night. You wished you were still talking to Rava or chatting to Willa wherever she and Connor were. Or that you were home. That was the ideal situation here. There’s a tense air between everyone and despite it being earlier than being agreed upon, you’re ready to head off now. You’d already talked to Ken and given him a present, seeing him and showing face for a bit for his sake was the priority of the evening.

“I need to go-” You start to say before you’re cut off.

“Don’t abandon us, Dr Roy!” Lukas exclaims playfully like a spoilt child.

“Sorry but I need to hit the powder room, I’m on my period.” You lie in a manner as if you’re just bluntly stating a fact as you stand up. Stewy chuckles softly, it's the softest you’ve seen his eyes look all night, well for all of the duration of your awkward interaction with Matsson. While Stewy sees through the lie and you’re sure that Roman does as well, the false candour, unfortunately, intrigues Lukas more.

“Regular? Super? Wait, just bring me back your tampon please?” Roman asks looking up at you.

“I don’t use tampons.” You sigh as you start to walk off. Immediately regretting your genuine candour this time.

“Right, sorry.” Roman then looks at Lukas and Stewy. “Well you’ve seen my mum’s vagina tonight but here’s a secret about my sister’s, it’s that tight she can’t use tampons.”

You glare at Roman who looks absolutely chuffed with himself, he starts to giggle like the child he still is inside and you roll your eyes. Stewy looks at you with a very tight lip smile, struggling not to laugh, even with jealousy coursing through his veins.

“Maybe stop talking about your family’s vaginas Rome?” Stewy raises an eyebrow at Rome.

“I don’t know how I always forget about your condition, always snapping dicks. Serial pad user this one.” Rome says to you, directing it at Matsson and completely ignoring Stewy.

“I don’t have vaginismus which is a very real and not a birthday tech/finance bro over drinks discussion, so stop implying that please and go back to your weird networking.” You say as you walk off, not looking back at the trio of the men.

“Moderna vagina dentata!” Roman calls out after you.

“She’s like a diplomatic firecracker right?!” Lukas laughs looking at Roman who smirks and shrugs.

**************

You finish washing your hands and unlock the door, getting ready to leave. You’ve gone toilet and you know Roman will be busy sucking up to Matsson and you can make a quick, silent, unnoticed exit. You’ve stepped out and are leaving the bathroom but as soon as you do you feel hands immediately pounce on you, it’s a blur at first and you initially flinch but quickly see it’s Stewy.

“Get in.” He says as he holds your hips firmly, guiding you back into the bathroom.

Stewy’s hands leave your body for a moment as he locks the door behind him once you’re both in but they quickly return to where they previously were.

“Somebody might’ve seen-”

“I don’t fucking care.” He says as he presses his lips against your neck, pinning you to the wall. “Everyone can know baby.” You scoff slightly at that.

“Well, that’s interesting and surprising, considering you wouldn’t look at me two minutes ago.” He stops kissing your neck and sighs, he tilts his head against your shoulder. “What was going on Stewy? We’re always amicable in public…” You gently probe.

He nods as his head is still pressed against your shoulder, he sighs again and tilts his head. You can feel his breath on your collarbone and his fastidiously trimmed beard brushes against you, it’s a brief little burn. In another moment it would probably feel more ticklish than it does right now, you’d probably giggle at it like you have in the past.

“What if we weren’t?” Stewy implores. You pause for a moment, deciphering his meaning.

“And be what…hostile?” You question somewhat incredulously.

A change in the method of the public side of your relationship now would surely draw more attention, it certainly would raise eyebrows and questions from those closest and it would become ridiculously complicated. Even with you not being involved at Waystar.

“No, no. Just open. No more running around, hiding, game of fucking cat and mouse. We don’t even need to say anything, we can just do it. It’s so simple.” He’s moved his handsome head so he’s now looking at you with those wide brown orbs. You exhale slightly and move your hands so that they’re now combing through his hair. It’s handsomely styled but you like it when it has less product and his natural curls are freer.

“What’s prompting this?”

“And that’s relevant?”

“I’m just surprised, can you please talk to me?” You ask softly, pleading with him as you continue to gently run your hands through his hair. His hand is rubbing a burning circle on your waist. His eyes are wide and there’s something there that you don’t think you’ve seen before, he almost seems manic.

“I didn’t like that discussion out there baby.” He says, his tone becoming a bit more serious.

“This might come as a surprise to you honey but I also am not a fan of when Rome talks about Shiv’s and I’s reproductive systems.” You reply, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

“No, I-I didn’t like that but I was meaning with Matsson.”

“Oh, he’s a creep.” You immediately respond.

“You’re telling me.” He kisses your lips softly but quickly deepens it, his hands firmly grip onto your hips. You lightly tug on his hair as you moan into his mouth. “He was eye-fucking you like his goonie life depended on it.”

You chuckle at how he describes it but his face is serious, similar to how it was when he came over during that awful interaction. You don’t know why it took you so long to pinpoint it, it’s jealousy. Stewy Hosseini was jealous.

Stewy Hosseini was jealous of that interaction, even though you’d both immediately agreed Lukas Matsson was a creep. You kiss him softly and move one of your hands to his shoulder. He eagerly returns the kiss back, filled with hunger.

“Stewy?” You ask quietly.

“Yes?”

“Are you jealous…?”

His brow noticeably furrows at that question, it’s quite a sight. His hair was now tousled and curlier from your tugging and raking through them, his eyes wide with lust and the aforementioned jealousy and his lips kiss-swollen. He was painfully handsome and you wished that you two weren’t in a bathroom at a party.

“Did you only just put that together baby?” He asks after watching you for a moment, a cocky smirk on his face. You sigh with a small nod and roll your eyes, which just makes his smirk grow even more. “I don’t want anybody to ever look at you like that again and nobody ever gets to touch you but me.”

He immediately presses his face against yours for another passionate and extremely hungry kiss, you open up your mouth for him and he immediately accepts the invitation. It’s a fiery clashing of teeth and lips, you quickly get lost in it, one hand gripping onto his shoulder as the other one tugs on his hair not so gently this time.

He groans out against your mouth as you tug on his locks. His hand pinches your hip before he moves it down and then pushes up your dress, his hand then dances along your thigh while the other bruisingly pinches your hip.

You moan out against his lips as his fingers press against your underwear, you can feel him pressing his fingers against you and dancing along the clothed area. You writhe slightly against him at the pressure.

His lips leave yours and he kisses along your jaw, trailing the kisses down your neck. He sucks and licks softly around your pulse, then as his mouth gets closer to your collarbone he nips you teasingly. You whine out at the sensation as your fingers dig deeper into his hair and he immediately kisses over where he’d bit you.

As he does this, he pushes your underwear to the side so that his fingers can slip through. Your arousal had already started to quickly build between your legs and now he was able to take advantage of that. You moan out as his fingers now run through your folds without the barrier of your underwear, he slips a finger inside of you as his thumb gingerly traces over your bundle of nerves. He kisses your shoulder as he hears your breathing quickly change.

“You’re so beautiful like this, you know that right?” Stewy asks. His voice was slightly more gentle. “Nobody else ever gets this.” He says more firmly.

“Only you Stewy.” You breathe out as calmly as you can manage as he inserts a second finger into you. He continues on with his ministrations as he kisses along your neck, reaching that spot he knows you cannot ever get enough of.

“That’s my girl.” He chuckles as he leaves your neck to kiss your lips again. You're desperate to feel him, it can’t have been more than 2 minutes since his lips left yours but you need to feel him there again. Especially when he’s having his way like this with you. You need Stewy in every sense of the meaning.

His kiss to your mouth is firm and hungry, you get lost in the feeling of his plump lips as he continues to overwhelm you and provide the most delectable of sensory overwhelms that you could ever imagine. But it is of course, unfortunately not long enough. The world’s longest kiss wouldn’t be long enough with Stewy though, which you of course know but it never stops you from wanting, needing longer, needing and craving more.

When he breaks the kiss, Stewy slides down to his knees on the floor of the bathroom. In your right mind, you’d probably be too focused on the unhygienic nature of this environment but you don’t even think of that. You are just desperate for Stewy, aching for him in any and every way in which you can have him. You don’t think anyone has ever felt as desperate for someone as you do for Stewy.

He expertly but gently spreads your legs out, putting one over his shoulder as he softly kisses along your thighs. The kisses are soft and hot and as you feel his breath against your sensitive thighs, you feel your core clench and every nerve ending of yours tingle in desire and anticipation for him.

Stewy continues to pump his fingers in and out of you as his kisses get closer to your core, you squirm slightly as he does. He gives a few gentle kisses to your vulva, your arousal is covering his fingers and running down his hands and he licks through your folds. Softly groaning at that as you let out a whimper at the contact, the noise coming from you is so beautiful, melodic to Stewy.

The noise spurs him on and his tongue gingerly circles around your bundle of nerves, the pressure is so perfect and the build-up from his teasing and the making out just adds to the feeling. Your hands tangle in his dark hair, gripping it for leverage and as a way to communicate just how he makes you feel. He continues to lick and kiss at your clitoris and you know it won’t be long till you reach your peak at this rate.

Stewy’s fingers continue at their work, getting deeper and reaching that spongy spot that makes you sharply gasp. Stewy smirks against you as he hears that, he hums against your bundle of nerves and the vibrations make you shudder, bringing you so much closer.

“Oh my god, Stewy!” You moan out as you roughly tug at his hair.

“Come on, come for me, baby. I want to taste you and feel it all over my face.” He says in between kisses to your bundle of nerves and around it. You nod and he continues to finger you and to give your clitoris attention, it isn’t much longer until you feel your climax coming on.

“I’m going to- oh baby!” You whimper out, and he continues at the same pace as you shake against him as your peak arrives and you ride it out. He smirks against you as he tastes you.

After your orgasm, he stays there, looking up at you in awe for a moment, supporting your body as it’s still somewhat weakened from that orgasm. He then stands back up, he pulls your dress back down and smirks. Stewy holds your hip gently and his free hand comes up to gently stroke your cheek. The pad of his thumb feels so soft against your cheek. You can’t help but smile at him, so absolutely in love with him and he returns the grin.

“You might want to clean that up, honey.” You say with a smirk as you lean against the wall, enjoying the feeling of him pressed against you so intimately.

“Nope.” He immediately firmly says.

“Nope?”

“I don’t care who knows, honestly I want everyone to know. Everyone should know about us and that I’m the only one who gets this baby. Fuck Matsson, fuck anyone else.”

“I think a decision like this should have a proper conversation, one that isn’t just jealously induced sweetie.” You respond as softly as you can, as you close your eyes for a moment. You hear a small scoff.

“Such a tease.” He says and you can’t help but smile when seeing the devilish expression on his face. He’s simultaneously charming, and handsome but also arrogant and you love it so much.

“I don’t want you to regret it.” You genuinely mean it. “I never would.” He immediately responds.

“I love you.”

It’s not a conversation you can have right now, the bathroom at your brother’s 40th birthday party is not the right environment for this. It needs to be one at home that isn’t post-sex acts either.

“I love you too.” He says as he rubs his forehead and sighs briefly. “Go home, I’ll leave fifteen minutes after you. I know- small risk but it’s worth it.” You chuckle and kiss him on the cheek. “I expect you to be in bed waiting when I get there though.” He says earnestly but still playfully. That’s your Stewy, always playful and blunt.

“Sure thing Mr. Hosseini, maybe write me a love poem on the way home?” You tease with a small giggle.

“Oh baby, you didn’t get my love poem?” He has that loveable but chaotic, cocky smirk on his face.

“What?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“That was my love poem.” As he delivers that line his smirk somehow grows by ten times. You roll your eyes at him as you kiss him on the lips softly. “Wait, do I need to better emphasise next time?” He teases with a wicked grin and laughs.

“Get better material, Hosseini.” You immediately quip back with a smirk as you leave the bathroom stall to make an Irish Goodbye from Kendall’s birthday to go home, our home you think.

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n1ghteeea · 2 months ago

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RGB MARRIAGE HEADCANONS BECAUSE RAHHHHHH 💥💥💥

After Egon’s 40th birthday that Winston, Peter and Ray attend in 1997 (as seen in EGB) they never leave the Firehouse again. It feels so good being home together after six years apart that they just can’t bring themselves to leave. To be able to sustain this new-old life they raise the prices of the busts and work every other day, switching with EGB, because they still love their job and have the energy for it.

This goes on for a while, but in 2009 (when Egon would be 52, Peter and Winston 51, Janine and Ray 50) they quit fieldwork, fully handing it over to the new team. Egon and Ray keep working on paranormal research and mentoring EGB, while Peter and Winston find some regular jobs to cover basic needs and taxes.

Fast forward to June 2015, six years later (Egon 58, Peter and Winston 57, Ray and Janine 56) when gay marriage gets legalised. After a few months of serious thinking Egon decides to propose to the guys. They don’t *need* a legal act to affirm their relationship, but he loves them so much he feels like he wants to be tied to them in every possible way, especially after being apart for so long. He struggles through planning and seeks help from Janine who is ecstatic about his decision. She helps him set everything up while he writes a longass speech. Then, on a random day in October he asks the guys out on a date to a quiet, private spot (because they cannot announce such a thing to the public).

There would be some joking around from Peter along the lines of: “No wayyy we’re going somewhere nice, what is it today, some sort of holiday I’m not aware of?” but Egon just waves him off with: “Can’t we go out just for the fun of it?”

They arrive to the place and have a nice time, Egon being extremely fucking nervous throughout the whole thing to the point of others growing concerned and asking if he’s okay. Calculating that if he prolongs this for 15 more minutes he will (with a certainty of 65%) get a stroke he drops down to one knee, pulls out the rings and begins his speech.

The guys are stunned. They never expected something like this, especially from Egon. As he keeps talking, they start to smile, realizing what’s happening. Egon, however, avoids their faces, focusing on finishing his speech. Winston finally interrupts with: “Egon, maybe you should...” but Egon cuts him off, “I’ve been preparing this for months, let me finish.” They laugh, and after he finally asks the big question, they lift him off the ground, say a long-awaited “yes,” and feel like the happiest people alive.

They come home that night and tell everything to Janine who waited for their return and she is so happy for them she almost tears up. EGB do not get notified right away, but the next morning they notice an unusual giddiness in Egon and start suspecting that *something* is up.

Next few months are spent preparing the wedding (I have no idea how long it actually takes), but eventually the event is set to happen in late April. Gonna go over the details now.

Place: somewhere in a park, everything green and blooming, but far from the public eye.

Decorations: minimum of those, just the basic tables, altar, some pretty columns around, flowers and fairy lights. Everything in light colours.

Guests: Only trusted people who won’t freak out about four men getting married. The list goes as follows (with little stories of how they would invite them):

Janine as the best person. Literally a part of the family, would help them through the whole planning process, when told that they want her to be their best person would say “Oh you better!” but would still be extremely honoured.

Slimer as the flower boy (he’d try his best to not eat all the flowers).

EGB (who would be in their thirties by that time). Egon would write handwritten invitations and give them to the team with a heartfelt speech about how much they mean to him. Eduardo would joke, “Writing your will already?” but they’d be happily shocked when they read the invites: “No way! Finally getting married - like, 10 years overdue!”

Aunt Lois. They’d invite her over for dinner and tell her everything, she’s always suspected the guys were in love and would be overjoyed for Ray and the rest of the guys (she’s great, I love her).

Sam (Ray’s relative). That’s literally an aroace lesbian, they’d send her a letter and she would happily show up with her queerplatonic girlfriend.

Mrs Faversham (if she’d still be alive). Peter’s mom is dead and his dad fucking sucks, so he would invite this old lady he has a nice relationship with instead, and while I think she would not get the concept, she would still be happy to be there for him.

A few friendly ghosts like Buster, the party troll and Stay Puft.

The photographer guy from the “The Ghost Fight at the O.K. Corral” episode. No idea about his stance on gay marriage, but they’d pay him to take pictures and he would.

Lieutenant Frump (the police officer who has personal beef with them), they’d invite him as a joke and he’ll cry first for the comedic effect.

That nice couple from the “Who’s Afraid Of The Big Bad Ghost” episode. I like the idea that they invited the guys to their wedding, so it’d be nice to return the favour.

Jeremy, Cindy and DyTyllio from the “Ragnarok and Roll” episode because poly people solidarity.

Egon’s dragon (horse-sized) because that’s his son.

Suits: the guys wear suits color-coded to their jumpsuits. Janine wears a blue and red dress. Guests are asked to wear cream-colored outfits.

Legal reasoning: since polyamorous marriage is illegal in the US, they flip a coin and marry in pairs (Winston & Egon, Ray & Peter). But during the ceremony, they all share rings and kiss because, in reality, they’re all in it together 🫶

Now moving on from the wedding to their further life!

In 2020 (Egon 63, Peter & Winston 62, Ray & Janine 62) COVID hits and NYC goes on a lockdown. The guys are stuck in the Firehouse with nothing to do, bored out of their minds. That is when Egon discovers a strong ectoplasmic field around this random small town in Oklahoma with the same frequencies as Cathulhu had back in 1987 when they fought him. He shares his observations with the team and announces that he needs to go there to conduct further research. The guys agree on anything just to get out of this dead city and so the four of them have a long roadtrip to Summerville, Oklahoma (yes, just like in GB: Afterlife).

There, they rent an old farm, and Egon dives into his research while the others fix up the place: changing old boards, cleaning, replanting crops, basically doing what old people do at summer houses.

This goes on for a year or so until the lockdown regulations weaken, and as they do, suddenly people start moving into town. Egon identifies them as Cathulhu cultists and reveals that his research has proven that in this exact town, 26 years in the future, in 2047 Cathulhu will be brought back into the world. This time, the ritual will no longer need to be performed near the water. That is because when they last defeated him, Cathulhu vanished into the air, meaning he can now be summoned from anywhere in the world, as long as the proper energy is present.

Egon admits that he cannot do anything about this right now as he has no proof of the newcomers being cultists or carrying potential danger (and even if he did no one would believe him), so he announces that he’s going to stay in this town to build a contraption that would capture and destroy Cathulhu for good if he’s ever summoned again.

Since the lockdown is not as strict as before and EGB are back to work in NYC Egon suggests his friends go back, but they just say: “Do you really think we are going to leave you here?” and just like that it is settled.

As time goes on Egon works on his giant trap with Ray who also takes fun in making the entire farm automated. They grow some crops, have a garden, Winston likes working in the field with Ray, while Peter turns the first floor of their house into a Ghostbuster Museum and gives tours to visitors (kinda like Mystery Shack except without the con man part). He puts their old suits, equipments and pictures as the exhibits and tells stories about how they beat the most dangerous of ghosts. This brings profit and so does selling the stuff that they grow in the city.

Janine still lives in New York and is retired, but visits them often (or they visit home) because they just cannot be away from each other for too long. And that’s pretty much it!

This year Egon celebrates his 67’th birthday surrounded by his friends and family. He feels calm and confident about the future of the world and ghostbusting because he knows that even if something happens to him there will always be people who will pick his work up where he left it.

#the real ghostbusters #rgb #ghostbusters #egon spengler #ray stantz #peter venkman #winston zeddemore #janine melnitz #polybusters #this guy is NOT kidding around about polybusters #‘cringe culture is dead’ cringe culture was dead three months ago #I’m dead serious about this now #so #questions thoughts ideas??#I’d love to chat bc imagine marinating this in your head for multiple months #anyways they are in LOVE!!!!#living together happily ever after #movies ghostbusters could never #WHO SAID THAT

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remembertheplunge · 2 months ago

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We cannot unsee what we have already seen--the 1980's

April 28, 1988

It’s now a Thursday—

Some post scripts from somewhere in the “last” night and from yesterday by Judge David Vander Wall “The 1970’s don’t seem that long ago. The 80’s are just passing me by…” DA Mike Stone replied “The 70’s weren’t worth anything anyway.”

I watched last evening “a A Walk Through the 20th Century with Bill Moyer. The 1920’s" :

Flappers and fun flanked by Fraud and Famine. Poo Poe Pee Do! The truth was that the poor (in the 20’s) didn’t realize they were poor until long after they weren’t!. They had a general feel of contentment despite their financial situation.

What about us in the 1980's? In the KPFA Radio Folio program guide,Life in 1968 is compared with life in 1988. The 80’s were condemned as the 1950’s relived. 1988 Yuppies are the men in charcoal grey suits. Ahhhh! But, what bridged the years is the depth of awareness setting in. We cannot unsee what has been seen. We close only to heal and tp grow internally. The individual reform we know is the only true change. Only true “life” takes place on an individual basis. More and more we learn "..oh..when I had the Mercedes and miserable marriage I was poor. Now, I am…,Me!"

To me, 1980 or 1981 were just about like 1988 in terms of styles, attitudes, money, etc. Pretty much the same. Music hasn’t changed much. Nothing has really. And yet, imperceptibly, everything has irrevocably changed, improved. Come a bit more into its own.

Only you, the future, may be able to give it perspective. What, if anything, do the 80’s mean to you? Don’t forget us. We are a part of your past and thus a part of you.

I offer up this diary entry to you as a revelation of one person- traveler’s time notes written during his time-space journey.

End of entry

Notes: 9/21/2024

I love the fact taht I included the line “We cannot unsee what has been seen” in the above 1988 entry.

That has been my fight song passing through these turbulent times where the Republican Right is attempting to cancel our collective progressive progress. They can ban and burn our books and the Supreme Court can strip us of our rights. But. We have seen. We know. We will continue to live our lives and assert our values despite and because of their orders. We have seen. We will act. We have agency.

I also think that it’s interesting that I said in the above entry that there was not much difference between life in 1980 or 81 and life in 1988. In 1980, I was not yet a. Lawyer, I was way in the closet and Aids was not yet publicly known about. By 1988, HIV had been known about for 7 years in which time it decimated many lives. In 1986, I began working as a volunteer helping men with Aids through their illness and death. I had been a lawyer for 7 years by 1988 .I had been emersed in the heavens and hells of criminal law defense. I had married in 1982 a woman who I left in 1984 as I began to emerge as a gay man. By 1988, I was fully out. So, actually I was a much more evolved person in 1988 than I had been in 1980. But, maybe because the evolution took place slowly over years, I wrote about the decade as if very little had happen.

Judge Van Der Wall was a judge in Modesto California. I spent my 40th birthday in a murder trial in his court. His clerk, Linda, gave me a happy birthday cup cake that birthday morning in court! They have both since died. I just thought Judge Van Der Wall and Mike Stone’s take on the 70’s and 80’s was interesting. Time was just passing them by. Have you noticed the no one now in the mid 2020’s ever talks about the 20’s? I mean the 2020’s. We are living it . We can’t see it This now has no name . It just is. But, I imagine in 20 years, they will be screaming about “The Outrageous 20’s!"

Flappers were the early forerunners of the women’s empowerment movement. They wore shorter dresses than their predecessors had and advanced women’s rights through word and action.

Bill Moyers was a Public TV host. He did stories on interesting people and events past and present.

Per Oxford Languages Dictionary, a Yuppie was "a young person with a well-paid job and a fashionable lifestyle."

#journaling #writing #gay relationship #gay #aids #criminal defense #The 1980's #the 1920s #KPFA Radio folio #the future gives the past perspective #April 28 #1988

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tgmsunmontue · 1 year ago

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Hangster Meet-cute I guess - this was meant to be a short ficlet I started on my phone, but then I needed to distract myself so... here. Have 2k, dialogue heavy with Jake having three sisters who do the opposite of cock-block him. (Rated Mature but I guess I am also writing a second very explicit sequel which already has over 2k).

I can't post it on AO3 until I finish a couple of other fandom WIPs because I have a very real fear of being hunted down by friends in that fandom. They're terrifying. And have been waiting ~10 years. So hiding in Tumblr for now.

---------------------------------------

His eyes track the attractive bare-chested server across the room. He looks older than most of the others, actually nearer Jake's age, perhaps a little older. He's clearly comfortable in his own skin, laughing and joking with the other servers and patrons alike. Jake doesn't usually like facial hair on his partners, but he'd let it slide for a taste of that...

"Do you think I can order him?" Jake asks, and he knows it's going to wind up every single person sitting at the table with him.

"Don't even think about it!" Katie hisses, giving him a sharp elbow in the ribs and Laura is glaring at him from across the table. He can see the lecture shaping on the tip of her tongue about not making servers uncomfortable in their place of work. Even in a place where the servers are mostly bare-chested men. But it's his sister's 40th birthday, and apparently Bird on a Wire is the place to go. So here he is. About to be hen-pecked by his three sisters. Ivy is just laughing though, nodding her approval and he reaches across the table for a fist-bump.

"I won't. I promise. But I can't promise to not think about it. Appreciating the place was why I was allowed to come along, right?"

"You were allowed to come because you promised to behave."

"I promised no such thing," Jake replies, and the same server he was watching before is approaching them and Jake licks his lips, because the view is only improving.

"Evening everyone, sorry for the delay. We're a little understaffed tonight so I'm just here to take drink orders. That's all I'm trusted with front of house," he says, and his little self-depreciating smile has Jake's lips twitching in response.

"And back of house?" Jake asks.

"Back of house I'm in charge baby."

Jake's eyebrows shoot up and he grins, a little laugh escapes, god, he can't believe he's sitting at a table with all of his sisters while a guy makes eyes at him. He's pretty sure eyes are being made. He's a little out of practice. But he's not dead.

"So, what can I get for you all? Are you celebrating something special?"

"It's her birthday. A significant number that I can't mention upon pain of death."

Ivy smiles sweet-sharp and he gets kicked in the shin regardless.

"I'll have a Blueberry Margarita, she's having a Strawberry Sour..." Ivy starts, pausing to look expectantly at Katie.

"I'll have the Coconut Daiquiri thanks."

"And for you?"

Jake quickly runs his eyes down the menu and stops at the first one... A Little Passion.

"A Little Passion."

"Sure thing. One of all my favorites coming right up."

"I hope the drinks are better than your flirting, I feel like I need to hose you two off..." Ivy says looking between them and Jake frowns at her, but he notes that the server (he didn't introduce himself, and Jake wishes he had a name already) just looks quietly amused.

"I've never had any complaints. And I don't get paid to flirt with customers. I actually get paid to cook. And occasionally make cocktails."

Jake realises that's what he had meant about being in charge back of house and he's always had a thing for... competence. Well, he's got a thing for good-looking guys, them being good at something generally means they're dedicated lovers and it's not steered him wrong (much) in the past.

"Rooster! They need you in the kitchen."

"And duty calls..."

Jake watches Rooster (and what the fuck kind of name is that?) tip an imaginary hat at them before he leaves to walk towards the bar where he talks to a woman and gestures toward their table. Then he's shrugging on a black chef's jacket with brightly coloured cuffs and front panel and buttoning it closed. Shame. Then he's giving a little salute to Jake and fucking winking as he disappears into the kitchen and Jake is pretty sure his cheeks are going to hurt from grinning so much.

"Could you stop looking like you want to climb him like a tree? Please?"

"Ain't no other way I can look at him... and you told me I couldn't flirt with him."

"Was that you not flirting?"

"You're just jealous."

"Last time we take you anywhere..."

"We say that every time, and yet we always bring him..."

"I'm a fucking delight. Plus you all bond over finding me annoying, don't pretend you don't. Imagine your relationship with each other if you didn't have me for you to direct your annoyance towards..."

"Why do you think they call him Rooster?" Katie asks and Jake's train of thought derails completely.

"I think you just broke his brain."

"Brain cell you mean."

"I thought Javy had custody this weekend?"

"Fuck off..." Jake mumbles, ignoring them. Who needs fucking enemies when you have sisters?

"You definitely want to fuck something."

Jake groans but also can't say anything, definitely can't disagree because she's not wrong, they'll just roast him further. He glances back toward the bar and there are two people there now, both mixing drinks but clearly having a conversation. One is the same woman from before, one of the few women who work here, the other is an older man, fully clothed, and Jake's not sure but he looks familiar. They almost seem to be arguing and then she's pulling at his shirt and shaking a finger before leaving him behind the bar, laughing at him as she walks toward them with a tray of drinks.

"Evening everyone. My name is Phoenix. I have a Blueberry Margarita, Strawberry Sour, Coconut Daiquiri and A Little Passion?"

"The margarita is for me, sour for her," Ivy states. "Daiquiri for her and the drink drowning in innuendo is for him..."

"You got a name handsome?" Phoenix asks, placing the drinks down in the right places but giving him a look that tells him he's being assessed and maybe even found wanting. It's not a familiar feeling at all and he instantly feels a little defensive.

"His name is Jake."

"I can speak for myself..." Jake grumbles, taking a sip of his drink, and fuck that's good. Lychee sweetness off-set with the tang of passionfruit and lime meaning there's no trace of vodka at all.

"And you're all... sisters?"

"Unfortunately," Jake says, and the flat look he gets from Phoenix has Laura cackling madly which makes Phoenix smirk in amusement. A little. At least she seems to like someone.

"Have you been sent out to dig up information?" Laura asks, and she's fucking gleeful and Jake doesn't know what he wants the answer to be. Busies himself looking at the menu and wondering what Rooster would recommend.

"Well, it was me or Rooster's dad and I thought I'd be the slightly less embarrassing option."

Jake's eyes flick to the man behind the bar and realizes now why he looks familiar. They've even got the same fucking moustache. He catches Jake looking and nods his head, raises a glass in a toast and Jake flushes, coming back to the conversation and startles to hear Laura giving Phoenix his entire dating history. Jesus.

"Could we maybe be allowed to just ask each other out? Pretty sure we're adults and don't need to have a playdate organised."

"So, you are going to ask him out?"

"If it's not an asshole move to do it when it's his place of work..." Jake mutters, giving Laura a side-eye but she just takes a sip of her drink and pulls a face at him.

"Oh, it's a little bit of an asshole move, but he can take care of himself. I just wanted to make sure you weren't too much of an asshole. And you've got three sisters being pretty decent wingmen, so you can't be too bad."

"Hear that, you have us to thank."

He's never going to hear the end of this, regardless of the outcome, so he might as well try for a variety on a good one so he has a minimum of regrets.

"Are you ready to order? Or would you like me to come back?"

"Oh, I want you to come back solely for the entertainment value, but I'm ready to order. I was ready before we got here."

"Great!"

Jake lets his sisters order first and then opens his mouth to place his own but Phoenix is snapping the cover over the tablet and shaking her head.

"You have any allergies of food intolerances handsome?"

"No..." Jake says slowly, realization dawning.

"Great, then I'm just going to let you trust the chef..."

"Not a fan of shellfish," he offers quickly, before she walks away, and she nods and gives him a quick grin, it reminds him of a shark.

"This is the best birthday ever..." Ivy says, looking incredibly entertained.

"Glad I could be of service," Jake says, rolling his eyes.

---

The food is fucking amazing, even if he doesn't know exactly what he's putting in his mouth. He recognizes some things, he's done fine dining before, even if it's never been in a place where the wait-staff were semi-undressed. His sisters have all picked stuff off his plate despite his best efforts to guard his food; Ivy making him swear to try and get the recipe for whatever the hell he was served as his entree.

His sisters pass on dessert but agree to share a cheese plate and he waits for something to come out just for him and is disappointed when nothing appears. Then someone does appear, and for a second he thinks it's Rooster however...

"Hi, I'm Goose. Rooster's dad..."

What the actual fuck. Does no-one have normal names?

"Does everyone have bird names?"

"Only the important people," Phoenix states, and she's grabbing Goose's arm and attempting to pull him away, but the older man just grins madly, easily resisting being moved. "He's going to kill you, leave them alone."

"I ain't bothering them. I'm not bothering you am I?"

"Oh no, this is the best," Laura says, popping a slice of cheese in her mouth.

"Baby Goose hasn't flirted with anyone in years -" Goose starts, and then Rooster is behind him, eyes flashing with annoyance and hmm if that look doesn't give Jake a little thrill. He's not wearing his chef coat, and nor is he shirtless, but he's wearing a tight enough tank to show off his, well, his everything, and then a loose button down clearly pulled on in haste because it's inside-out.

"Dad! For... god. I don't flirt with customers because I don't normally see any."

"And you also suck at flirting," Phoenix interjects.

"He's doing fine..." Jake says and Rooster catches his eye and grins slowly, eyebrows quirking, tongue poking out just enough to tease and Jake grins back.

"They deserve each other..." Ivy says dryly, and Jake looks to her, confused.

"What?"

"We might as well all be invisible. Rooster's lucky the backup got here to save his distracted ass..." Phoenix says.

"Hey! I'm not even meant to be working tonight."

"Bet you're glad you did though..." Goose says and Jake's glad that Rooster looks as exasperated with his family as Jake is with his... actually, on that note.

"Happy birthday Ivy, I believe it's Laura's turn to pick up the tab so I will see you all later. Uh."

He stops then, suddenly unsure of what his next action should be, but then Rooster is stepping away from his father, making a follow me gesture with his head and Jake follows willingly.

"Hi again..."

"Hi."

"Did you enjoy everything?"

"I sure did."

"That's what I like to hear..."

"So, you come here often?" Jake asks and then cringes, mortified, because what the actual fuck is he thinking? The man works here. Phoenix had snorted as she walked past with Goose, shaking her head and giving him that same unimpressed look, although maybe she looked a little fonder. Hard to get a read.

"Only every day of my life... I live upstairs."

Jake's mouth goes dry at his suggestive tone and he swallows instinctively to try and wet it and Rooster's eyes flick between his lips and eyes and Jake's breath catches.

"I really want to take you on a date though... but what I really need is a shower."

Jake can see he’s hot, sweaty and slightly oil covered from working in the kitchen and it does nothing but make him feel equally hot.

"Not on my behalf you don’t…" He'd just want to make him all hot and sweaty again. Yeah. Totally normal reaction.

“Hmm. Good to know," Rooster says, and Jake is pretty sure his thoughts are easily readable on his face. "Did you want dessert?"

"I don’t know. What’s on offer?" He matches the tone Rooster had used when he'd mentioned living upstairs and the slow smile he gets has his stomach flipping in anticipation.

"Phoenix, I’m out," Rooster states, reaching to knock his knuckles on the bar top twice before grabbing Jake’s hand and tugging him toward the exit.

PART TWO

#ficlet #hangster #sereshaw #what happens when I go out to lunch to a place called Bird on a Wire #AU where there is no-one dead and no fighter pilots - I forgot to say that originally

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alexina-bucket · 7 months ago

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Happy 4/27!

A little context: it's Stanley's 40th birthday so Neil (my narrator) let him choose his outfit for the day.. he chose shorts.

First post on this app and I'm already starting with shirtless old men, wow

#the stanley parable #tsp narrator #tsp fanart #tsp stanley #tsp #tspud #homosexual

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liminalpebble · 1 year ago

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Hey friends, sorry to ask yet again, but can we do a "get help"? (For those new to the "get help" it means sending funny, sweet, or horny things of our favorite fictional men, or just nice words etc. To cheer someone up) I don't mean to whine, but uh...I'm losing it. In the interest of brevity, here's the tl:dr...

-Still down with corona (but yay! Can smell a little again. And finally had the opportunity to binge Fleabag. Not quite finished yet, though. So, no spoilers).

-the second ex-boyfriend I was on good terms with/ friends with unexpectedly dying suddenly before their 40th birthday in a single year.

-my job campus closing down December 31st, job future very uncertain.

-Rude/fat-shaming/incredibly disrespectful yearly check up (dispite the fact that all my numbers are fine and my health is good, so...again sliver linings).

-Moving house by Dec. 31 (but it's a good/terrifying reason! Buying a house which will make freelancing easier.)

-doing a lot of freelance work (which is great because I'm in demand, and gives new experiences and money) but always stressful and uncertain and a lot more work.

Sorry, friends. I hope I'm not annoying the shit out of you all. (If I am, please feel free to ignore) I just gotta scream into the void again. In real life, I kind of suck it all up and don't say much.

Since the friend who ruined my birthday party, I've kind of stepped away from that whole friend group, which I think is a healthy decision, but leaves me, well...a lot more alone.

Please send some funny, sexy, weird, happy things. Share your good news in your life, show me cute pets. Share the shit out of this post. I would very much appreciate it. (Again, no pressure, and my apologies if I'm annoying you).

Much love ❤️

Peb

@muddyorbs @lokischambermaid @littlespaceyelf @loz-3 @lokihiddleston @jennyggggrrr @unlucky-number-13 @acidcasualties @ladyofthestayingpower @peaches1958 @gigglingtiggerv2 @goblingirlsarah @smolvenger @lemongingerart @tripleyeeet @holdmytesseract @thedistractedagglomeration @peacefulpianist @marcotheflychair @holymultiplefandomsbatman @itsfreakingbats @fanfic-collection @infinitystoner @unfocused81 @sailorholly @lokisgoodgirl @mochie85 @alexakeyloveloki @sweetsigyn @leelei1980 @veemoon @joyful-enchantress @lesservillain @huxs-side-part @cloudyfacewithjam @peachyjinx @glitchquake @take-everything-you-can @hellfirenacht @squidscottjeans @elegantkoalapaper @eleniblue @chokeanddagger

#lovely mutuals #sas #let's do get help #lovely fanfic friends #Mew Mew the Mango says hi #lusty vicarettes

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mediocre-eternity · 7 months ago

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I was supposed to tell my readers about Las Vegas.

I’m wrapped up in another season of a reading obsession. I’m reading A Touch of Jen by Beth Morgan. So strange, but I had to put it down so I haven’t finished it yet. Otherwise, it’s been one after the other with me. I think the only pause I’ve taken is when we got to Las Vegas.

Most of my kind falls victim to seasonal obsessions, you must understand this. So my absence at times is to be expected.

I also don’t know where to begin: the memories are not chronological. Typical, for mine and Migliore Amore’s past excursions to this city, however this time we were with Benji and Sybelle. Sybelle was back in the states so we figured, why not?

There was someone who asked me what, if we were at all, planning for Benji’s 40th birthday, yes? Well, birthdays can become less and less important and admittedly, I’m quite awful at remembering them, since I have no birthday of my own. But this was a fairly just celebration of that milestone for him.

Four vampires traveling in a group did cause quite the stir around Sin City. For those of my kind, anyway. I don’t think I’m dispelling any masquerades by divulging that the overall vampire population, comparative to the human population, is quite small. In well defended cities like Las Vegas, newcomers are immediately noticed. Even for a city where other blood drinkers are part of the tourism. When Daniel was mortal, this was less of a big deal. As a solitary vampire, it’s quite easy for me to shirk curiosities. Though four of the de Romanus bloodline— well. Introductions had to be made. It was duty— and part of our sacred etiquettes to do so.

I’ll tell you about that later. It was so annoying lol

We won some money, we drank from potent and alcoholic blood, Benji became acutely aware of how many beer bellied, sweat soaked men want to devour young boys and Daniel was incredibly sober for the first time there. An experience, truly. I think I enjoyed Omega Mart the most.

Sybelle was a sight to be seen in Las Vegas. Daniel dressed her in evening gowns, where each one never looked perfect enough for her, in my opinion anyway. Sybelle was having the time of her life, trying on all these clothes. She was so stunning that Benji hid his face a few times, unable to see her in such a way.

Though the tragedy is knowing how unaware of her own beauty she is. Las Vegas is a demon, and if Sybelle was a soft and menstruating mortal female, I fear someone would have carved her up like a starving tiger. The glances, stares and racing thoughts I experienced around her were proof enough. She mostly remained on Daniel’s arm, being occasionally yanked out of the groping street performer circles. I should tell you that it was both a relief and a source of joy to see Daniel be someone’s guardian for once.

But— being able to be with both of them brings a life to me I can’t describe. To see them so loving with a noticeably healthier Daniel. I learned a lot in one week, as debocherous as it was.

Jesse did not accompany us. “Oh no, no,” she told me. “I went once for a bachelorette party the summer of 1981. I was so sick.” She shook her head and turned back toward her laptop. “Never again, not even in the Blood.”

Daniel remarked playfully that us, too were in Las Vegas in the summer of 1981. Perhaps we had all crossed paths. She remarked that she would have been too drunk to remember properly. Drunk in a “not-fun way.”

However, I want to read some more and the rest of what I want to tell you will come after that. I feel a flood of thoughts now and I think I missed telling you a lot, reader. Or ghost. Or whoever I’m talking to.

Mostly myself. I talk to myself a lot.

-A.

#the vampire armand #the vampire chronicles #interview with the vampire #iwtv #queen of the damned #journal entry #daniel molloy #Benji #Sybelle #tvc #Anne rice #roleplayer #vampires

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amusingmusie · 4 months ago

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hi musieee!!! i've been following yours truly for a loooong time and personally it may be the best not only in the hazbin fandom but among all the fan fiction i've read. thank you very much for bringing together so many people with the same feelings even though it takes so much effort to even think and write a fiction. (even though i was a monk while waiting for the 30th chap :p) i would be rich if i earned a dollar every time i logged into ao3 to see if the notification had arrived. it will be a great compensation after my birthday and the university entrance exam. at the same time i am very sad because we are approaching the 40th chap. especially when the story between 27-28 has reached its own consistency. i really like the dialogues, they are very natural and fluent, not only in the fan fictions, in general there is no artificiality that i complain about even in many books. you inspire even a procrastinator like me and push me to write something.

as a song suggestion, i recommend "Rattlesnake" from Kabaret Sybarit, which is a song by a Danish band that is unfortunately not very well known and has already disbanded. in fact, it is jazz-oriented fits the New Orleans theme, and some of its songs use French words as well as English, and it is a song that includes the theme of enemy-lovers. i can recommend many of his songs. btw, the word "Sybarit" is a phrase used in Danish for hedonistic men in the 1930s, for some reason this reminds me of someone else ;). I may have taken the song to its root, sorry. here we gooo

"hahaha, I kid you not I think I just heard my Luger saying: 'Shoot me, shoot me Fire me through his wrinkly face ' Well, it's not that I don't want to But first, I wanna hear you yelling 'Kill me, kill me, kill me', hahaha"

"I hope you go to hell Click, bang!"

"Rattlesnake pulls her string and My marionetto kind of guy He won't ever ask me why, no So let the games begin"

these parts scream Penelope in my opinion

"Yeah, doggy-style was never my thing"

even though i don't find such terms very nice, i can't be angry because the woman sings the song beautifully- anyway. i think this part reminds me of how disgusted Alastor is with conventional sexuality

"I never did care for waiting I better like compensating And mama just taught me one thing Sewing stitches like a madame Dying might just be your thing And the pope just taught me one thing: ”Take things into your own hands!”'

i don't know exactly about Nel's relationship with her mother- if im not wrong there were posts on your tumblr talking about the Sheridan sisters' parents, but I seriously forgot- anyway poor woman only had ten years in Nel's life for heaven's sake but the mention of "mama" in the song and the mention of learning to sew like a madam is a shame Alastor. it reminds me of the fact that he did not conform to the much stricter social norms back then. and i think the father part fits both of them. in terms of how she coped after his father's suicide(im sure picking up the dismembered remains of a corpse is a good experience that will make you forget everything else your father taught you-) and how Alastor's issues with his father turned him into a violent person.

"Hey now, don't be blurry You know I hate those eyes"

Al's freakish obsession with smiling and Nel's constant pouting and frowning.

"I'm sorry 'Cause I love you Like a rattlesnake Like a bellyache Like this day to your face And people do crazy things for love"

of course they never openly say that they love each other in their own twisted ways but i think this part explains their behavior.

in some parts of the song, it is said "Living is overwhelming" or "Killing is overwhelming", Penelope is the one who is living, but here "overwhelming" refers to her in a sense that makes people stressed due to the intensity of life. in the one with killing, a more pleasant "overwhelming" is mentioned in the sense that Alastor is enjoying it. thank youuu for your time, i hope you enjoy it and it inspires you

Hiiiii! Sorry for replying to this so late, but hey, that just means that Chapter 30 is already out! Thank you so much for the kind words and all the BANGER song recs revolving around so many characters. I'm gonna listen to these when I'm home form work today!

#my asks #I offer you chapter 30 on a platter

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u2fangirlie-blog · 1 year ago

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50 Things for My 50th Birthday - Now With 10 Bonus Things!

50 Things for My 50th Birthday

A continuation of my 40 Things for 40 List, with 10 additional entries for 50. Plus 10 Bonus Things!

Originally written December 2013 on my 40th birthday. It's a list of bits of wisdom I wish I had known when I was younger. Every item has a story behind it. I don't know if this is original, intelligent, humorous, creative, interesting, or valuable to anyone other than myself. But it means something to me.

Maybe someday I'll write an annotated version of the list with the stories for each one. Then that would turn into a book. Maybe it's better to give short snippets and remain mysterious than to overshare everything. December 2023.

40 Things for my 40th Birthday: 12/2013

1. The Universe has a sense of humor which manifests itself as irony. Take time to stop and notice the big glowing neon signs that point to irony.

2. Karma, like gravity, is a force of nature. It does not discriminate. It balances your actions and consequences like balancing an equation.

3. It’s better to be single and alone than be in a bad relationship for the sake of being in a relationship.

4. See the patterns and interconnections - streams, veins in leaves, flowers, moss, agates, geodes, galaxies, calendars, time – it is beautiful and awesome.

5. Every day is different. If today is shitty, tomorrow will be shitty in a different way.

6. Look for the positive. Thousands of things go right every day.

7. Have a good work ethic. Do your best, but don’t let perfectionism interfere.

8. Know your history. Remember your ancestors and family. You could not be who and where you are without all of their hard work.

9. Don’t bite the hook.

10. Don’t feed the troll.

11. Remember Professor Remus Lupin’s Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons – Ridiculous, Expecto Patronum, and Chocolate.

12. Learn crafts – sewing, knitting, beading, etc. – it enriches life. It’s fun to give surprise presents to people.

13. Dream out loud at high volume. Turn it up to 11.

14. No good deed goes unpunished.

15. The Platinum Rule: Treat people how they want to be treated.

16. Always have 2 weeks’ supply of socks and underwear.

17. Invest in good bras. Your back and boobs will thank you later in life.

18. Always wear comfortable shoes. Your feet will thank you later in life.

19. Don’t waste time in front of the mirror. Save money. Cosmetics are optional.

20. Do not fester. To fester is bad. Don’t bottle things up for years. When you eventually explode, it only frightens, confuses, and pisses off the target of your nuclear blast, and innocent bystanders may be injured.

21. Don’t confuse lust for love. Lust and love are not the same thing. Don’t allow physical attraction to obscure reality. Ask questions. You might not like the answers but ask anyway.

22. Beware of charming men. They use sexual energy to get attention and evoke a reaction, like using glamour magic. The feeling is fleeting. It’s nothing special.

23. Don’t wait by the phone or the computer. When a man says, “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he probably won’t. He might intend to call, but he doesn’t know which tomorrow he means – 24 hours, 6 months, 8 years later. Don’t take it personally.

24. Diamonds are not a girl’s best friend. You don’t need a ring. A loving relationship is the real treasure.

25. U2 is the greatest rock ‘n roll band and “Achtung Baby” is the greatest rock ‘n roll album in the entire Universe.

26. You are your own worst enemy. You are the only enemy you will ever have. Stop listening to the Itty Bitty Shitty Committee.

27. You are your own best ally. You are the only ally you will ever have. Never betray yourself to others or to yourself.

28. It is what it is.

29. Chill the fuck out.

30. On the subject of Big Girl Panties: Pull them up. Deal with it, whatever it is. They can be She-Ra Princess of Power, Wonder Woman, or Tinkerbell Underoos. In times when you can’t pull up your Big Girl Panties, get some Coping Skills so you can deal with it. Use Coping Skills until the problem is solved or the situation subsides. Repeat as necessary. Coping skills will eventually become the New Normal way of dealing with it.

31. Learn as many life skills as you are capable of doing - housekeeping, home repairs, yard maintenance, gardening, cooking, car maintenance, etc. Be as self-sufficient as possible.

32. Know when to ask for help. Offer to help others too. Know when to hire professionals to do the job.

33. Felines are the best animals ever in the history of all species on Earth. Being a Crazy Cat Lady is wonderful. It’s the cats who are crazy.

34. Read everything. Read constantly. Develop highly effective writing and verbal skills. Clear communication is essential.

35. Book smarts, diplomas, and degrees are not an accurate measure of intelligence. Common sense, ability, skill, and experience are most important.

36. No one likes an insufferable know-it-all. Don’t correct others even if you are right – unless it is a life-or-death situation.

37. Practice mindfulness. Orient your perception to the meta level.

38. Be grateful and express gratitude.

39. Be compassionate, sympathetic, and empathetic – even to people you dislike or who dislike you. Everybody hurts. Everybody has bad days. Understand that.

40. Remember the reason why you had your ears pierced on your 30th birthday. Enjoy the small pleasures of life: favorite foods, scents, sights, sounds, clothes, jewelry, and all the pretty things. These are what the dead remember and desire the most.

50 Things for My 50th Birthday: 12/2023

41. Toxic Situations: Know when to get out on your terms while you still have options. Leave before they force you out. Otherwise, you could be left scrambling and everything is worse.

42. The Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42, obviously. (Thanks to Douglas Adams.) 42 is the atomic number of molybdenum. 42 divine beings, with Osiris, Ma’at, and Thoth in the Hall of Truth, judge souls before they enter the afterlife in Egyptian mythology.

43. Dialectical Behavior Therapy skills, motherfucker, do you use them? You spent 2 years in Fight Club. Strive to be skillful every day. The core skill sets are mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. Remember your values. Remember Wise Mind. Remember Radical Acceptance.

44. Gaslighting: Discussing problems is complaining. Telling the truth is causing trouble. Explaining yourself is making excuses. Asking questions is undermining others, making others look bad, or challenging authority. Challenging hurtful comments is not knowing how to take a joke. Expressing emotional needs is neediness. Expressing emotions is seeking attention. Showing confidence and intelligence and using an above-average vocabulary is being a bitch, being a know-it-all, or flexing your education and experience.

45. You need people whether or not you like it. Remember the pandemic lockdown. Remember working from home for a year and a half. You thought you trained your whole life as an introvert for that historic moment and would be excellent at it. No. It was objectively bad. It was a disaster. You need people. Be a better daughter, sister, and friend to the people in your life.

46. People change for better or worse. People will drift in and out of your life. People grow apart. This is a natural part of life. Accept it.

47. Magical Thinking: It’s one thing to know better. It’s an entirely different thing to do better. This is stupid behavior. It doesn’t matter how smart you are, how hard you work, or how good your intentions are. It’s never going to work out how you want it to. It’s never going to get better. And no one cares. Accept responsibility for your part in it. Don’t make excuses. Do something different. Do better. Change.

48. “Do or do not, there is no try” is fundamentally bad advice. Yoda’s lesson led Luke to black-or-white thinking. What would Spock or Picard teach Luke about learning a new skill? Get up and do it again until you can do it or find another way to do it.

49. Everybody is sick of your shit. Everybody, including you, is sick of your shit.

50. On the subject of Giving a Fuck: You either give too many fucks or you never have enough fucks to give. You need to practice, as the internet meme says, “moderate fuck distribution.” Ask yourself when you truly feel like you have zero fucks to give, are you completely out of fucks? Can you have a fuck debt, have a negative number of fucks? Or does something magical happen? Like a mint in the bottom of your purse, like loose change between seat cushions, like a potato chip under the fridge, there is always one more fuck to give. Like a free play token or an extra life in video game, one more fuck will magically appear. That one magical fuck will be dirty, hard, bitter, and broken, but it will be there when you need it. That one magical fuck can be saved or given as needed until you can replenish your regular supply of fucks.

BONUS CONTENT: I have more than 10 things to add to the list of 50 things.

Life is unpredictable. I don’t know if I’ll live another 10 years to continue the list, so I’m writing 10 Bonus Things. Everyone loves free bonus things!

51. “If I don’t do what my parents want, they will be mad at me.” WHAT? Did you just say the quiet part out loud? Every decision in your life is based on it! How can you be in the fifth decade of your life on this planet? Are you even an adult?

52. You can’t be needy if you don’t have needs. Meet your needs for yourself. No one else will. If there’s the slightest stink of neediness on you, people will abuse and reject you.

53. Don’t have expectations of others. Don’t engage in wishful thinking. Stop wanting people to demonstrate their feelings or care for you in the way you want. They won’t. It’s never going to happen. If you ask for what you want, then you are needy or attention-seeking. Accept what they offer as they give it, even if doesn’t meet your expectations, even if it’s nothing. That may be the only thing they can offer or the only way they know how to express it.

54. Most of being an adult is lying to everyone that everything is okay and that you are fine, when in reality your life is an unbearable mess, and you are not anywhere close to being okay.

55. Nothing you do is ever good enough for others. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. It never changes.

56. “Use it or lose it.” You refused to believe it until you quit using it and you lost it. You don’t need to look in the mirror to see it. How does your body feel? Get up, girl, and use it.

57. No one gets out of here alive. Prepare for your death. Don’t leave the burden of your funeral plans, estate, and debts to your family, friends, or strangers. If you worked on projects or created things with other people, include it in your will. Your legacy, and that of others, literally could be thrown away. If you don’t tell people what you want, they will get it wrong. Then you’ll have to come back and haunt the fuck out of those people.

58. There’s no escaping your past, especially with family. They remember everything. Every obnoxious thing you did as a teenager. Every time you freaked out. Every time you had a bad day. Every mistake you made. Every mental health breakdown. It doesn’t matter how hard you work to change and overcome your problems. You’ll always be that past worst version in their minds, and they’ll hold it against you forever.

59. Your family is never going to forgive you for getting a degree in English. It’s always going to come down to their misperception that you are nitpicking and correcting them when you’re not. They’re going to throw it in your face like a glass of ice water.

60. Remember the “Litany Against Fear” from Dune. You memorized it when you were 15 years old. It still works.

#50th birthday #gen x #generation x #things i wish i knew #advice to younger self #adulting #life advice #50 years old #memoir #autobiography

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