#4 more hours. i can do it. i can be brave for 4 more hours
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
folks the process for getting a license as an adult is Boring As Shit
#marzi speaks#sitting here in a gov mandated 6 hour class#telling me shit i Already Know#we get 15 minutes for lunch later. i’m just straight up not gonna bother bc we’ll get out at 4 pm anyways#i’ve had to remind myself several times that i don’t make kms jokes. i have never felt so inclined to make one of those jokes#the instructor guy is so boring and continues to go on tangents. i am fighting for my life in here#4 more hours. i can do it. i can be brave for 4 more hours#i was so smart to take an advil before i got here bc i can tell i’d have gotten a headache by now#anywho. going to turn into a crab and disappear into the sea
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#i find it interesting that recently—at least 3 times in the last month or so that I can remember—#actually i think it’s 4!#i have come across the parable of the workers who get a day’s wage for working three hours#and the focus being on the other workers resentment and feelings of injustice#and how in a way that sense of injustice is understandable but the money is the landowner’s to do what he will with#last night i was having a bit of a temper tantrum about how God has chosen to divide up his gifts in terms of personality#wishing i could be different and more vibrant and more brave and less timid and all of that#and i do not have coherent thoughts about the connection right now but there IS a connection#God has chosen to give me a certain personality and I might not like that choice but it was His and i have to figure out how best to use it#for His glory#???#maybe???#it’s telling that i only fell into feeling like this after i’d come across the parable enough times to make me notice the frequency
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Despite all odds, I have arrived home safely👍
Turns out that the earlier goop was the better goop. The adderall goop. The adderall has worn off now though. So I am. Very incredibly out of it.
But I am home. And I will take my quick shower. And then I will climb into bed.
I do need to eat. But... later...
#speculation nation#im the special kind of tired where im more tired than hungry#which is to say my every cell is yelling at me to get some fucking sleep.#and i dont think id be much more successful at eating rn than i was this morning.#i ate. half a can of chef boyardee. which was half bc i was so focused on typing and half bc i could barely stomach it.#so i at least ate Something. but not as much as normal.#i did have an ensure in the middle of the day. so theres some nutrients too at least.#i'll eat after i get a few hours of sleep. when the edge is no longer so desperate.#and hopefully i'll be able to stomach things better then.#honestly have all nighters always been this hard or am i just getting older? i havent actually pulled an all nighter since uhhh#well there was kind of one on dead dad day. but that day sucked just in general.#last time i think was april '23 when i read t.rimax volume 9-14 within a 24 hour period while also finishing a final presentation.#even then tho i got like 2 hours of sleep. it was still pretty rough though.#like ok i guess those times were pretty awful and also i did get at least some sleep. which is more than today.#so it makes sense for me to be in worse shape rn. i also didnt get as much sleep the night before last as i wanted to#i got... ...maybe 4 hours sleep??? ummm. which isnt a good thing actuslly. no wonder im so fucking exhausted.#i can barely type right now i will be honest. it was so hard to bike home. it took all my focus to not drive off a bridge#or get pushed into traffic by wind. oh boy the wind sure did try.#then i almost tripped down the stairs at my apartment after grabbing the mail bc i Briefly was focused on my mail 🙄#barely present. total mess. but at least im home. and i already did all the thinking i need to do today.#i was brave. i perservered. i was tempted to give up around 6 am ish but i was like No. this is getting done TODAY.#so i did it. i turned it in. and i so bravely did my in class work for my 2nd class. even though i was so mentally not present the whole way#i did my thinking... i am home... rest soon.#actually its kind of funny im lying on my couch rn and i think if most other ppl were in my current state theyd fall asleep right here.#but the power of my insomnia is so. powerful. i am not at risk of falling asleep without meaning to.#only time thats ever actually happened are like. a handful of times i was like. the most tired ive ever been in my life. etc etc.#in fact idk how well i'll be able to fall asleep for my nap. i certainly couldnt last night despite how hard i tried.#hopefully this time... i am truly tired enough....pls i need to rest i am so tired 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
🩸 scarlet..milk? 🥛
Doppelganger Francis Mosses (Milkman) x Reader
500+ words
Requested by; @FoxxyyThePirateFox in wattpad
꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚
You're a newly Hired Doorman for a Apartment thats owned by D.D.D. It'll be fine, well thats what the D.D.D. operators said to you before you get started.
You opened the list of residents thats supposed to arrive.
' Angus Ciprianni '
' Nacha Mikaelys '
' Izaack Gauss '
' Arnold Schmicht '
'I can do this...i think?' You said to yourself as you breathed in and out before opening the metal door.
First thing to arrive shocked you, Its those twin models whom you saw in the magazine.Except...they only had a Giant Razor teeth on their face.
You didn't spend a minute to check their Documents as their appearance already proved they're not the real ones. You immediately click the emergency button and called the D.D.D. cleaning services.
"Does that mean ill...have to face more of those?" You asked to yourself as this job surely need intense observation, you don't want to let one in and let it kill the innocent lives of the apartment residents.
═════════•°•⚠️•°•═════════
You've seen... 4 doppelgangers that look horrifying, except for one, The Peach guy seem abit scary but they only said peach and nothing more.
You checked the list and hoped the one's you let in are the actual resident, you don't want to die just yet by your stupid decisions and weak observation.
You slump to your seat and groaned on the files you're holding. "Almost time, just a few more guest and ill close the entrance" you reassured yourself as you composed a brave and determined look.
"Mm...hello"
A voice said as you look up from the files and almost dropped it. "JESUS- WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?-"
you questioned the milkman who stayed silent for abit before answering. "I seem to have covered myself with scarlet milk..mm.."
You dart your eyes on his ID and Entry request, as he stared intensely at you through the protected glass window.
"I...never heard of it" you said nervously about the 'Scarlet milk'.
"I assure you...its a better version of the milk we had" he said creepily as he showed a jug of a red substance labeled as 'Milk'. He smiled in an eerie way as you shivered in fear , getting goosebumps from his behavior.
"I seriously dont think thats milk-"
Your eyes went wide as he opens the jug of scarlet 'milk' and drinks it in front of you. The substance dripped from his mouth to his neck , he pulled the jug away and smiled widely through the protected glass window. The so called milk staining more of his milkman uniform as he slammed his fist on the window.
"L̸̖̽̌͂ẹ̿͋̒̕t̲̂̓ͩ̑ ḿ̬̏ͤͅẹ̿͋̒̕ ỉ͔͖̜͌ṇ̤͛̒̍.."
You shrieked in fear as you slammed the emergency button from his creepy behavior, you were sure thats not the real Francis Mosses. The metal cover shut in front of him as he repeatedly bang his fist on the covers.
"Ỵ̛̖͋͢/ṇ̤͛̒̍...l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕t̲̂̓ͩ̑ ḿ̬̏ͤͅẹ̿͋̒̕ ỉ͔͖̜͌ṇ̤͛̒̍, l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕t̲̂̓ͩ̑ ḿ̬̏ͤͅẹ̿͋̒̕ ỉ͔͖̜͌ṇ̤͛̒̍...L̸̖̽̌͂Ḛͭ̉̇͟T̨͈͗̌ͥ M͉̅ͮ͒ͤḚͭ̉̇͟ I̍̅̀̎̊N̺̻̔̆ͅ" said the doppelganger as you called the D.D.D. cleaning Services immediately out of fear.
═════════•°•⚠️•°•═════════
You were shaken by the current occurrences, your eyes darting everywhere from the window as your hour of work shift ends. You closed the metal cover and got out of the office you're in, on the entrance window you see the blood covered jug on the floor and a small note...
"I'm watching you...."
#francis mosses#that's not my neighbor#thats not my neighbor#the milkman#themilkman#tnmn#x reader#francis mosses x reader#oneshot#wattpad#Doppelganger Francis
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Here are 7 little facts about my donkey and how his summer is going :)
1. I received an anon the other day asking if Pirou was still a working donkey who carries my firewood for me, and the answer is yes. I've been cutting some branches from the big cherry tree that fell down the other day, and Pirlouit has been valiantly carrying them to the woodshed—fun fact, for this activity he likes to wear his ears like this:
Probably because this T position is reminiscent of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross, which is how Pirlouit perceives himself as he carries heavy logs for me. He's willing, but his martyrdom should be acknowledged.
Here's Poldine acknowledging it with a nose kiss, because Poldine.
I stopped so they could have their little chat.
2. Pirou has been chatting with a lot of new friends lately—we met these horses on a walk and he was so happy to stop and touch noses with them while making equid noises. Llamas are good with the nose-touching but their llama noises are just less interesting to Pirlouit. He had such interested ears here! "Finally a serious grown-up conversation"
We also met this goose during the same walk and Pirlouit was a lot less eager to go say hi to her. The goose was yelling threats at us and we prudently stayed away, and Pirou was clearly thinking "this bird is doing a better job at protecting her home from intruders than Pandolf ever could" (it's true, Pan assumes intruders are friends until proven otherwise)
3. You'll notice that there are houses in this pic! Our walks got longer and longer until one day we went all the way to the village (it took 1 hour 20min at Pirlouit's leisurely pace). I was so proud of him. I've been trying to convince my friends to go to the village on donkeyback (this requires two people, because you can ride Pirlouit but you can't tell him where to go unless there's someone holding his rope and leading the way)—my friends were reluctant because they still sort of perceive Pirou as the feral animal terrified of everything that he was when I got him. They know he's made a lot of progress but going to town on donkeyback still seemed foolhardy.
So we've been riding Pirlouit in the woods, in familiar environments, and we also went to town with him but without riding him. He was amazingly calm and brave! There's a river that cuts the village in two and the first time we went, we stopped before the bridge, since it's pretty narrow and cars would have to drive very close to Pirlouit, we didn't want to risk it. We just went to say hi to the librarian who lives on the right side of the river, but since Pirlouit was very serene, we did cross the bridge the second time.
He did not care at all about cars driving very close to him (he had one familiar human on either side of him and the drivers were very considerate and went slowly), which emboldened us to stop for a drink on the terrace of the coffeeshop on main street (< also a narrow street with cars driving by quite close to Pirlouit). There was just no problem at all, Pirou let total strangers rub his forehead and was more interested in iced tea than main street traffic.
It was a hot day and we gave him all the ice cubes from our drinks and he chewed them enthusiastically.
4. We made a stop at the pharmacy on our way home because we had another 1 hour 20min walk ahead and I had a blister, and the pharmacist noticed my donkey parked outside his shop and in a determined tone he said, "I want to try something." He took one of the donkey milk soaps from the overpriced-Provence-soaps-for-tourists display and opened the door and offered it for Pirlouit to sniff.
... I'm not sure what he was expecting—for my donkey to go "ohhh this smells like Mother's milk and aloe vera 🥺"—but unfortunately nothing happened.
(4. bis—Sorry, this 4th fact was anticlimactic.)
5. Pirlouit is now the proud owner of a surcingle. Not for equestrian vaulting and not for his log-carrying job because I don't know if it would be solid enough for the weight of a bag full of logs, but I'd like to tie bags or baskets to it to take Pirlouit grocery shopping, now that I know he's okay with going to town :) He even seems to enjoy the adventure, and the attention he gets from children.
And actually I shouldn't write off equestrian vaulting because Pirou is also remarkably chill with weird things happening on his back. I used to be very careful to climb on his back in a quick & fluid way so he wouldn't spook (because he used to! a butterfly flapping its wings in Brazil used to spook him!) but now that my friends are riding him I can confirm we've reached a point where you can climb on Pirlouit's back in any way you want and he'll just be like "...... sure"
6. I almost forgot to mention that Pirou turned 15 last month, according to his ID papers :) Donkeys have a longer life expectancy than horses, they can live 30-40 years on average so he's still a young lad really. Happy 15th birthday Pirlouit :)
7. I wanted to conclude with a nice aesthetic pic of Pirou's shadow on the road during all those walks, like I did with Poldine, but unfortunately donkey shadows do not have the chic je-ne-sais-quoi of llama shadows. Pirlouit looks like a hammerhead shark wearing a tiny fez and that's not his fault.
#crawling along#i am so proud of him!#4 years ago i couldn't even touch him let alone halter him let alone... any of this#he's a great donkey. very curious and interested in the world around him especially iced tea bottles
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Uranus in the houses
Disclaimer.Here I describe only one specific placement, always take into account all your other placements when reading your natal chart, because they can have a greater influence on you than Uranus (in this case)
Uranus in the 1st house:
1.There may be rebel traits in a person's character. He can be straightforward, honest, and sharp-tongued. He will say what others are afraid to say. They are cardinal and categorical in their thoughts.
2.They are really kind. These are people who can help not only their loved ones, but also strangers. They do not tolerate injustice, rudeness and arrogance.
3.Most often they are of medium height, less often tall. Their eyes stand out very much in their appearance, there may be unruly or curly hair (or wavy)
4.They are brave. I will not say that they are not afraid of anything. They can talk about their fears and problems, but they can really pull themselves together and be courageous at the right moment
5.Personally, it seems to me that they are a little nervous and restless. It's just that they literally don't stand still during times of stress. They twitch their legs, bite their nails or pencils, bite their lips or cheeks. If something has offended them, then this thought will torment them for a long time
Uranus in the 2nd house:
1.It's hard for such people to save money. It's as if their money should always move (be spent or invested). At the same time, they damn always find money! They don't have a rainy day stash, but they manage without it
2.A person has a strong, rather restless energy. I wouldn't say it's crazy energy, but people feel this rush when they communicate with you
3.I noticed that such people can see beauty in chaos. For example, they may like disheveled hair, wrinkled or faded clothes. I'm not saying that they are dirty, but negligence plays the role of charm for them. They may have chaos in their bag, makeup bag, closet, etc. They are used to chaos, for them this is the most convenient storage system :)
4.He takes care of the equipment, it can be stored in good condition longer than other people
5.Most often they choose an unusual job. For example, it requires great endurance, dexterity or patience. They don't really like the 5/2 schedule (but consider your 6th house and Mercury)
Uranus in the 3rd house:
1.Personally, it seems to me that they have strange but funny jokes. I can't say that all people laugh at their jokes, but people with placements in Sagittarius/Gemini/Aquarius will be on the same vibe with them
2.They can make long pauses in their speech or quickly change the topic of conversation. They are good conversationalists, because they can discuss anything
3.They don't like big texts, lectures, or a huge amount of information. They prefer concise and more specific texts. I noticed that they choose books and movies very carefully so that watching or reading is really interesting.They may also dislike long films. My friends with Uranium in the 3rd house recently fell asleep on a 3-hour movie. Well, sleep is useful
4.Most often there are problems with concentration. Such people can solve very difficult tasks, but blunt on the easiest ones
5.They are quite independent in terms of learning. Their brains are practical, creative, and NON-STANDARD. Sometimes I'm really shocked by what they can come up with. Scary and cool lol
Uranus in the 4th house:
1.They may not look like their parents, or they may look like distant relatives (but you need to consider whether you have aspects of the sun/moon to the ascendant)
2.Strange relationship with parents. They're not bad, but they're not that close either. Or it can be like a roller coaster, from love to hate(but I would recommend considering your moon as well)
3.Independent and matured early. Their minds are much older than their bodies. A person is not used to listening to advice, likes to make decisions on his own and does not tolerate control
4.Not always, but this is one of the signs of a single-parent family or a person's childhood could have been spent with grandparents
5.There is one caveat. Such a person may be inclined to take too much responsibility and control. Literally bring himself to panic and a state of emptiness when he is not able to help even himself
Uranus in the 5th house:
1.One of the indicators of attractive appearance. You may feel the stares and attention of strangers. There is something memorable about their appearance
2.With tense aspects, it may indicate an unwillingness to have children, or a late pregnancy. Sometimes it also indicates problems with the reproductive system (but you need to take into account the 8th house)
3.This is a person around whom there is always some kind of drama and adventure. I do not know how it happens, but there is always something interesting going on around them, even if they do not want to
4.Girls, if you see a man with Uranus in the 5th house with a bunch of squares/oppositions (ESPECIALLY TO THE MOON), run and don't look back. It's not worth it. They are not suitable for serious relationships, especially for family ones
5.A person who has his own style of clothing or image. They like to focus on details and accessories. They try not to wear the same look every day
Uranus in the 6th house:
1.An unpunctual person. He may often be late or not come to work/study/meeting. A flexible work schedule is more suitable for him
2.If they have inspiration and motivation, then they can complete 1000 tasks in a day, but if they are not in the mood, then they will not do anything. They are literally mood people. I wouldn't say it's always a bad thing. This situation is often found among writers and creative people.
3.Their main advantage is physical endurance. I will not say that they are jocks, but their body can withstand a load that will break any other person. They may not sleep/eat/work/walk longer than ordinary people
4.Such a person may have special esoteric rituals, for example, to attract good luck or money. They also notice the signs of fate well
5.They also don't like talking to someone not on the same level. Status, salary, gender, etc. are not important to them, they will communicate with you like with everyone else
Uranus in the 7th house:
1.Well, there is 100,000% something unusual in the sphere of human love. There are long-distance relationships and a long 10-year relationship without marriage and a relationship with a friend and a divorce and a strange acquaintance with the second half and an annoying ex. It can be anything but a normal relationship
2.A person may avoid romance and love (but consider your Venus). A person prefers to be loved rather than loving someone
3.Such people like emotionally sensitive people. Only people with stressful aspects of Uranus can choose people with mental problems. They may think that their partner is a mysterious and interesting person, but he just has depression or social phobia
4.With the harmonious aspects of Uranus, such a person values his independence in relationships. He clearly defends personal boundaries, while respecting his soulmate. He can immediately break off a relationship if he understands that they are harmful to him
5.Such a person knows how to find an approach to anyone. His circle of friends may consist of completely different and dissimilar people
Uranus in the 8th house:
1.Such a person had a case when he had an accident/was severely electrocuted or burned/was in a fire, etc. Simply put, there was a case when he miraculously survived
2.He understands other people well. Literally can feel other people's emotions. He's good at spotting lies.This is from the indicators of a psychologist/tarologist/astrologer
3.VERY GOOD INTUITION!!!!!
4.Such a person has few close people. He may seem distrustful and cold from the outside. His friends are being tested by time
5.To be honest, people in this position always make an impression after a conversation. Their life experience and worldview are so interesting and unique that their advice can be really useful. I'm not joking or exaggerating.Imagine,even I(Capricorn)listen to their advice
Uranus in the 9th house:
1.This person is like an eternally half-empty vessel. No matter how much knowledge and experience he receives, it is always not enough for him. They are not stubborn in their opinion and can really look at the situation in 360 degrees
2.In combination with a strong Mercury, it may indicate moving to another country or learning another language to the level of a native speaker
3.These are the very people who jump from topic to topic in conversation and forget what they were talking about. Their attention is chaotic, so they can reread the same page a thousand times because they are thinking about something
4.Moral issues are often raised in conversation. They can often discuss justice, honesty and mercy. In general, they believe in humanity and they are really kind
5.They are very harsh and rude when they notice disrespect or lies in their direction. Even if they are silent, they will make such a face that you will blush with shame. They clearly set their personal boundaries
Uranus in the 10th house:
1.Good logical thinking and imagination. It is often found among workers in the field of IT, engineering,design
2.Such people almost always rise rapidly through the career ladder and professional development. They really strive to be a master of their craft, they are considered an authority and are asked to teach beginners
3.By the way, good teaching skills. Such a person can explain very complex things in understandable language.
4.They try to live by the principle of let everything go as it should. They strive to make the most of what they can and try not to worry about problems that are beyond their control. They are quite stress-resistant
5.Most often, they do not work in their specialty. They could change a lot of jobs, and in each they developed quite successfully. They like to try and learn something new
Uranus in the 11th house:
1.Most of the time, his friends are creative and unusual. I would even say crazy a little bit. Such a person is attracted to cheerful, energetic and fervent people
2.With tense aspects, it may indicate dependence on other people's opinions and low self-esteem
3.Good leadership and organizational skills. Such a person is energetic and creative, knows how to communicate with a crowd of people and hear everyone's opinion. Many of them are activists at school or university
4.Such people rarely lose their virginity before the age of 18. They prefer to carefully look for the very person with whom they will feel not only a physical, but also a spiritual connection (for them this is a mandatory point)
5.With tense aspects, it may indicate social phobia or fear of loneliness. A person literally cannot be in silence or alone with his thoughts
Uranus in the 12th house:
1.Very good intuition, but there may be neurological problems (sleep problems, seizures, nervous tics, etc.)
2.Very kind and even too kind. They tend to put their own needs below those of others. They do not like to quarrel and will rather keep silent so as not to create unnecessary noise (but also consider the Sun and Mercury)
3.From the outside, such a person gives the impression of an educated and calm person. They are like your beloved grandfather, to whom you can always come for hugs and interesting stories.They are very comfortable!
4.On the other hand, people with this placement claim that because of their social flexibility, it is difficult for them to understand who they really are. The influence of other people is so strong that it is difficult for them to hear their inner voice
5.They prefer oversize clothes in calm tones(but also consider your Venus). Loose or wavy hair suits them very well. Sweaters or cardigans fit them best!
#astrology#astrology community#zodiac#horoscope#astrology blog#astrology signs#tumblr fyp#astro community#natal chart#astro observations#natal astrology#astro notes#astro tumblr#astrologer#natal chart observations#uranus
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Lorelei — Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader | Part V
1 2 3 4 5 6
Synopsis: Aware of the way his lifestyle doesn't align with your dream life and unwilling to quit his life as a soldier, Simon breaks things off with you. It isn't until a year later that he sees you again, a tiny carbon copy of him held in your arms.
This chapter can be read as a one-shot without having to read the whole story! :)
"Are you staying for Christmas?" You ask casually, decorating the cookies you baked with Simon's help. Your daughter is sleeping peacefully in her crib, a small Santa Claus onesie on her, preparing her for the celebration even when there's still a few hours left.
"You want me to?" He asks with a raised eyebrow, brown eyes fully focused on decorating the head of one of the cookie figures, steady hand drawing a skull pattern with ease.
"It's her first Christmas, I think she'd like having her father around." I want you around as well. He's lucky you're focused on decorating your cookies, missing the way his face lights up with a proud smile. It's a lot of progress.
''Right. I got you both some presents in the car.'' He washes his hands on the sink, giving his daughter one last look before leaving the house, trying to gather as many of the gifts he bought as possible. ''Some presents'' was clearly an understatement— he has been building a pile of gifts for months, his car full of boxes and bags for both you and your little girl.
''Jesus Christ.'' You wash your hands and go help him as you see him struggling to carry the pile, taking some from him and putting them under the Christmas tree.
''There's more in the car.'' He seems almost sheepish as he confesses, giving him a small pat on the arm as you go outside to help him. You almost laugh as you look inside, the entire backseat full of presents. It's almost ridiculous, yet so charming how much he wants to make both of you happy, knowing how much it the holidays mean to you, especially now that you have a daughter.
''Isn't this... a bit overkill?'' You joke, earning you a playful pat on the ass now that your arms are busy. You miss the kick thrown his way, jogging after him with a smile when he playfully gets on the other side of the couch to avoid you getting revenge.
''I still got one more present coming, but that's for later.'' He walks back to the kitchen once he made sure you weren't going to kill him for patting your ass.
''I swear to God, Simon, if it's another d—'' He interrupts you by smearing frosting on your cheek, shooting you a cheeky smile that gets erased the moment you do it back— smearing way more than you should have all over his cheek.
''Bastard.''
Your baby was up by the time it was midnight, excited to see her mum and dad opening up presents and even joining in, tiny hands clearly struggling with the wrapping paper, yet somehow managing without help.
''Strong girl, like her mum.'' You smile softly at his words, looking at the way your daughter stares curiously at one of her last presents; a cactus activated by sound.
''Say 'hello'.'' Simon says, getting closer to the toy until it activates, dancing around and lighting up. Astrid looks confused as she looks at it, brown eyes looking up at you before looking back at the toy.
''Hello.'' He repeats, a warm smile on his lips when the toy starts dancing again, much to your daughter's confusion. She babbles at it, tiny hands reaching out to touch it once it starts moving and playing back her sounds, giggles escaping her lips as the toy imitates her laugh.
Simon's phone vibrates in his pocket, getting up from the couch before looking down at his phone with twinkling eyes.
''My mate's here, I'll be right back.'' He doesn't wait for you to reply, already out of the house before you can even say anything. Your focus is back to your daughter, happy that she enjoys playing with the toy rather than being scared of it like you've seen in videos online. Brave girl she is, not a single lick of fear in her.
Simon comes back a minute later, holding a big German Shepherd that can definitely walk on its own. You give him a questioning look as he sets it on the floor, holding his collar just in case.
''Absolutely not.'' You try to protest, yet your gaze softens when you see Astrid crawl to the dog.
''Wa-wa!'' She points out, tiny hands reaching up to pet the dog the same way you've taught her, gentle. The dog doesn't react much besides laying down on the floor for your daughter to pet it, making it much easier for her.
''His name's Riley, he's a retired K-9. Look, I'll pay for his food and even for someone to come take care of him when I'm not here, I just... want you to be safe.'' There's hints of pleading on his tone, eyebrows slightly furrowed as he looks at you.
''... I'll take care of him.'' You say with a small sigh, knowing Simon wants nothing else than for both of his girls to be safe, especially when he's deployed.
''We gave him extra training to deal with kids and emergencies. Big geezer's patient and good.'' He keeps trying to sell it as if you didn't say yes already, a small giggle escaping your lips before giving him a reassuring smile.
''We'll keep him, don't worry.'' You crouch down to pet the dog, who is clearly enjoying the attention from your daughter, allowing her to rest on his side while petting his head.
There's a smile on his face as he looks down at his family, hands fumbling with the small box in his pocket.
[PREVIOUS] [NEXT]
taglist: @skulfan1 @survivalshxt @ghostslittlegf @yaebaal @thecubanator2 @juliediets @shescabob @kenz-ee @lothiriel9 @dragonstoneshortcake @lunamoonbby @alfie2401 @perfectus-in-morte @mxtokko @cloufie @killergoddess97 @imaracoon @thepurpleaccount @silas-222 @actuallyhiswife @havoc973 @catkatchuck @preeyansha
#cod mw2#simon riley#ghost mw2#call of duty#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#simon ghost x reader#cod mwii#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon x reader#ghost simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost call of duty#ghost x f!reader#ghost x reader#ghost x you#ghost x y/n#ghost x female reader#mw2 simon riley#simon riley imagine#mw2 ghost#mw2 fluff#mw2 fanfic#mw2#cod#modern warfare 2#call of duty modern warfare#cod mw3#mw3 2023
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
blue lock characters when you come home after a bad week at work
characters: yoichi isagi, meguru bachira, rensuke kunigami, seishiro nagi, reo mikage
tags: gn!reader, reader is referred to as "cutie" in bachira's and "darling" in kunigami's, reo being a rich boyfailure
a/n: first ever blue lock post lol (divider by @cafekitsune)
yoichi isagi 潔 世一 : the quintessential gentleman
“hey, what's wrong? you know you can talk to me about anything.”
if you feel like talking about it, he'll sit beside you patiently and listen (even if it takes an hour and a half). if you don't feel like talking about it, he'll get you a cup of your comfort beverage and take a short nap with you
you'll definitely feel a lot better when you finally wake up in his arms, and he'll talk things through with you so patiently!
he makes sure to remind you of how strong and brave you are, and how much he loves you!!
“i want you to know that i love you and i will support you always, no matter what.”
meguru bachira 蜂楽 廻 : the supportive jokester
“look who's all moody today! c'mon, cutie, won't you lighten up a little?”
when he realizes there's something wrong, it's like someone flipped a switch on him because he gets so unbelievably serious and sits you down at the dining table
after he coaxes the full story out of you, he peppers your face with kisses, wiping your tears away gently
he will then proceed to hit you with a barrage of the worst dad jokes known to man until you're laughing at him laughing at himself
“i know i find it hard to take things seriously sometimes, but you? you're something i will always be serious about. i will always make time for you.”
rensuke kunigami 國神 錬介: the dedicated sweetheart
he doesn't say anything at first, just wraps you up in a big bear hug (he doesn't let you go for the next five minutes)
in typical malewife fashion, he makes you a snack and runs you a bath. while you relax in the tub, he somehow manages to clean the whole house??
afterwards, he makes dinner with you in silence (man's love language is definitely quality time)
when you finally decide to open up to him, he's holding your hand throughout and lets you take your time explaining without interruptions
“thank you for telling me all this, darling, so i can support you like how you. deserve. i know you'll get through it like you always do.”
seishiro nagi 凪 誠士郎: the silent rock
he notices something’s off, but he holds off on saying anything in case he's wrong. as the day goes on he notices you're not your usual self and silently takes a seat beside you
“...you okay?”
you break down crying and all he can think to do is to pull you into his lap and hold you tight. he nods silently as you tell him everything, and though he doesn't say much, whatever advice he does give is surprisingly pretty helpful
he takes you on a snack run after even if it's 4 am! because “nothing is too much of a hassle when it comes to making you happy.”
and that makes you cry even more (happy tears this time <3)
reo mikage 御影 玲王: uh... he's doing his best??
he finds himself temporarily frozen when you walk through the front door with the most sullen expression on your face. at first he thinks it's something he might've done wrong
all it takes for you to break down is a light squeeze of your palm, and now he's utterly clueless on what to do. he awkwardly pats your back
growing up a sheltered only child with a grand total of one true friend, he's never been in a position where he had to comfort someone
“i can pull some strings, get your horrible boss fired… or you could quit your job and stay at home! yeah, we can do that…”
you make fun of him for being bad at comforting people, but it definitely brings your mood up a little
you end the night watching your comfort tv series on the couch with him and all is well!
bllk masterlist || general masterlist
© sirhamburrger 2024
#blue lock#bllk#bllk fluff#bllk headcanons#bllk x reader#bllk x you#bllk x y/n#kai writes#yoichi isagi#isagi yoichi#meguru bachira#bachira meguru#rensuke kunigami#kunigami rensuke#seishiro nagi#nagi seishiro#reo mikage#mikage reo#isagi x reader#bachira x reader#kunigami x reader#nagi x reader#reo x reader
215 notes
·
View notes
Text
For a Good Time, Call… (4)
summary: as you grapple with your burgeoning feelings for Leah, a door opens to new possibilities and the potential for something more
warnings: SMUT 18+ strap on use (leah receiving), some dirty talk
a/n: last main part my guys. might treat you all to an epilogue
word count: 2.5k
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | epilogue
-
It was early.
The sun had yet to fully rise over the rooftops, and the morning dew still hung heavily to leaves and blades of grass.
Dawn. A time of day you’ve seen more and more of as of late. You have a five foot seven blonde centre back to reluctantly thank for that.
As you blink blearily at the dim light filtering through the curtains, you couldn’t help but marvel at the ungodly hour Leah’s penchant for early mornings has dragged you into. The day was breaking, and there you were, already contemplating the meaning of life and the distinct absence of a warm body beside you.
With a resigned sigh, you acknowledge that Leah’s status as an early riser was, indeed, a force to be reckoned with. Who knew the early bird could be so… early? Catching worms doesn’t even sound that appealing anyway.
But hey, every sunrise brought with it the promise of new beginnings, right? Right! And if those beginnings involve a quest to locate your elusive bed companion, then so be it. Off you go, brave warrior, into the wild (downstairs), yonder!
As you trudge into the kitchen, you’re greeted by the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and a freshly showered Williamson. “Well, look who finally decided to join the land of the living,” she teases, a playful smirk dancing on her lips.
You don’t even have the energy to respond with words, so you grant her a grunt as you shuffle towards the cupboard where the mugs are kept.
Leah chuckles softly, her playful demeanor a stark contrast to your early morning grogginess. “Rough night, huh?” she quips, sidling up behind you and wrapping her arms around your waist.
“Hmm, and I wonder whose fault that is” you respond through a yawn, reaching lazily out to grab your favorite mug from the it’s usual hiding spot. But it’s not there. Confusion flickers across your face as you glance around the kitchen, then over your shoulder at Leah.
“It’s in the dishwasher” she informs between the soft kisses she's placing along the length of your neck.
You groan petulantly at her words. Of course it is. Lucifer is alive and well, it seems.
Leah releases you from her embrace, but her smirk remains as she grabs her own mug and takes a sip of coffee. “So, any plans for today?” she asks, raising an eyebrow in questioning.
You take a moment to ponder, mentally running through the checklist of tasks that await you. “Well, my dear Watson, I probably need to head back home at some point,” you reply, stirring your incorrectly decanted coffee absentmindedly. “I believe I have a pressing appointment with the laundry basket and a certain fern in dire need of hydration”
“Want me to drop you?” She offers. “We can get lunch on the way back”
You grin, feeling her warmth and energy seeping into you, banishing the last remnants of sleepiness. “Hmm, tempting offer,” you muse, turning to face her and gently tracing your fingers along her jawline. “But we’ve got training tomorrow and I could do with some shut eye. Sans distractions”
Leah pouts playfully, her bottom lip jutting out in disappointment. “Oh, come on,” she whines, wrapping her arms around your waist again and pulling you closer. “Who needs sleep when you can have fun with me?”
“As much as I’d love to indulge in your company, baby,” you say, brushing a stray strand of damp hair from her face, “I really do need to catch up on some sleep. Plus, I’m already on thin ice with Jonas”
One late fee away from a game suspension thin. Hence the need to stay at your own house, away from the wandering hands and mouth of one Leah Catherine Williamson
The culprit sighs dramatically, but concedes nonetheless. “Fine,” she offers before leaning in to press a soft kiss against your lips. “But promise you’ll make it up to me?”
You smile, unable to resist her. “Of course,” you reply, returning her kiss with equal fervor. “I’ll make it worth your while, I promise”
-
Love is a funny little thing.
It hides purposely in the shadows when you go looking, and punches you square in the face when you least expect it.
Or confesses its feelings for you in the street and fucks you silly not an hour later.
It’s all semantics really.
“When did you know you loved grandma?”
“Hmm, let’s see. When she railed me with a strap and gave me a three day limp?”
Yeah, no. Not everything needs to be passed down through the generations. That’s what jewellery and hereditary illnesses are for.
“What's that face all about?” You’re dragged abruptly from your thoughts by a voice beside you. “You look like you’re in pain”
“I’m just thinking”
“Oh god, don’t strain yourself”
You roll your eyes, abandoning your act of loosening your boots. “What do you want, Beth?”
She leans back against the wall of her cubby, smirking as she tries and fails to play off like she isn’t about to start bothering you.
“Answers”
“I’ve already told you, I don’t bribe Win. She just likes me more because my personality is far superior”
“You’re a liar” she doubles down.
“Jesus Christ, I have better things to do than lie about a dog, Bethany. Get a life”
“Like what? Like the fact you’re hiding that you’re seeing someone?”
Your blood runs cold.
“Why on earth would you think that?”
“I don’t know” she leans forward in her seat. “Maybe because one doesn’t normally stroll in covered in love bites if they haven’t at least been sucking face”
“Oh”
Do you look panicked? You feel panicked. And embarrassed. Love bites? Jesus Christ Leah, you’ve been walking around all day with those on display.
“Yeah, oh. I thought we were friends, I feel betrayed!”
“I-, I didn’t…,” you stutter, unable to get your words out as she looks at you with wide eyes.
What are you supposed to say? That you were knuckle deep in her vice captain just over 24 hours ago? Absolutely fucking not!
“I told you to keep me posted about Bar Girl!” She exclaims as she leans back against the wall once more, obviously disappointed in your inability to keep up with her requirements for gossip.
All you can do is blink at her, mouth agape at the whiplash she’s just given you. What on earth is happening right now?
“Yeah, right. Urm sorry. Me and Bar Girl are back on” you mutter when you have a second to think.
It’s her lie, not yours, alright! Don’t you dare judge.
“I knew it!” she says, smirking like a cat who's got the cream. “You’ve been acting so weird”
Your head swivels. “Weird? What do you mean, weird?” You didn’t realise you were under surveillance.
“You know, like all smiley and energetic and nice. It’s almost like you’re in love with her or something”
Love.
There’s that word again. The word that’s has been dancing on the periphery of your thoughts for weeks now. You understand it can be hard to find someone who can make you orgasm as much as Leah can, but love? Already?
Subconsciously, you look across the room. Even through the bodies of your teammates filtering in from off the training ground it doesn’t take you long to spot who you’re searching for.
She looks good. Too good for someone who’s been sweating all afternoon. Your eyes drift down to where her top has ridden up from how she’s pulling her hair back. Further still to where she’s rolled her shorts up her thighs. Thighs you frequently find your head trapped between. Then back up, past the swaths of skin on show to find her eyes boring into you.
She holds your gaze and smirks when you start to blush. Heat spreads across your face, down your neck and up to the tips of your ears. You’re not embarrassed she’s caught you, not really. Sure she’ll tease you about it later, but deep down you know she likes you staring as much as you like looking at her.
Beth clears her throat.
“You good?”
“Uh, yeah, I’m good,” you stammer, hoping she doesn’t see through your flustered demeanor. But her knowing look tells you otherwise.
-
You trail wet kisses across her chest as her hips roll against yours. Once, twice, throwing her head back on the third.
Showered, fed, unsatisfied from a night spent at your own house, you’re sat up against the headboard of Leah’s bed pulling sounds from her only you have the privilege of hearing.
Your mouth closes around a pebbled nipple. Sucking then biting then licking to soothe the sting. Her hands fly to the back of your head when you pull away, a string of saliva keeping the two of you connected. So as per a silent request you give her second breast the same treatment. Tugging at it with your teeth. You’ll leave marks, but yours won’t be visible like the ones she so graciously gifted you.
With one final suck you pull your head back to look up at the woman you’re buried inside of, and you almost die at how pretty she is. Her chest is flushed pink and her eyes are blown as they look down on you with a hunger that almost makes you fall apart then and there. You don’t have a chance to though, because she leans in to rub her nose against your own, cupping your face and licking into your mouth.
“You’re so pretty,” you murmur against her when she pulls back to breathe. Your hands running up and down her naked back. “My gorgeous girl”
You lean up to kiss her again. Using your thumb to maneuver her face, nipping at her kiss bitten lips. Red and swollen and as sweet as can be.
When you shift below her, the new angle has her sighing into your mouth, so you place your hands on her hips and encourage her to work through it all herself. And she does, bringing her knees up, crouching as she slides up and down to find the perfect drag against her walls.
Her chest bounces with each movement and you feel your eyes glaze over at the sight of it. She leans back then, keeping herself balanced with her hands on your shins, opening up for you and giving you a show.
“Fuuuck”, she moans as your fingers find her clit. Expertly rubbing tight circles over it, bringing her closer and closer to an edge she is desperate to fall off of.
She’s almost there, you can see it in the way her abs tense and how her hips begin to stutter. So close to tumbling when you pull your hand away from her, wrapping her up in your arms and flipping her over.
She lets out an uncharacteristic squeal at the sudden change in position, and you can’t help but laugh a little.
This is absurd, you think. This is your life. Secretly fucking the England captain silly almost every chance you get. If only the others knew what she was really like when she wasn’t on the grass. No one would believe you. You don’t really want them to, this version of her is solely yours to enjoy.
You sit back on your haunches. Something you like to do when you have her in this position, you have come to learn. You’re very inquisitive. Curious even. You want to know what’s happening. What’s going on when you push in and out of her. What it looks like.
She’s exposed in the best way. Pretty and pink. Ready for whatever you give her. Whatever you're willing to let her take.
You watch eagerly as you push forwards. Mesmerised by how the silicone disappears and reappears with each thrust.
“You’re taking me so well” you tell her. “Are you going to cum for me?”
“Mhm” she hums as she bites down on her bottom lip.
“Yeah? You gonna cum all over my cock?”
Your question is paired with a particularly hard thrust that has her reaching for you with desperate hands. You go, obviously, because you’re finding it increasingly difficult to deny her anything these days.
“I’m close” she manages to say through her laboured intakes of breath. Looking up at you with hooded eyes and a need that makes you feral.
You lean fully forward, bracketing her head between your arms as you claim her mouth and rut into her like it’s the last time you ever would. The bed creaks unforgivingly. She cries out before she bites into the hard muscle of your trap. You hold her when she stills then shakes and leaves crescent shaped nail marks in your skin.
Everything is perfect.
“I love you”
The words fall out of your mouth before you can even stop them. Lust induced word vomit that has you wincing.
“What?” Leah asks from underneath you, but you’re too embarrassed to even speak. “Y/N?”
You freeze, the weight of your confession hanging heavy in the air. You hadn’t meant to say it, not like this. You weren’t even sure if you were ready to.
Panic floods your veins as you scramble for something else to say, but the words stick in your throat. Leah’s confusion is obvious beneath you as she uses a warm hand to push at your chest to get you to look at her, searching your face for answers.
Finally, you manage to croak out, “I…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ but the damage is done. The silence stretches between you, filled only by the sound of your racing heartbeat.
At your words she untangles herself from your embrace, sliding out from beneath you and sitting on the edge of the bed. You watch her, your heart sinking as she puts distance between you. The air feels thick with uncertainty, and you can’t shake the feeling that you’ve ruined everything. Your mind races with self-doubt, the fear of rejection consuming you. You use what dignity you have left to unclip the harness around your waist.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper, the words barely audible even in the heavy silence. Leah turns to look at you over her shoulder, her expression hard to read in the soft light of the evening's purple haze.
There’s a pause, a pregnant moment where the world seems to hold its breath. Waiting on your judgment. Preparing for heartbreak and pain the wish to turn back time.
But before you can say anything else, Leah turns fully to face you, her gaze steady. “I think… I think I might feel the same way,” she admits, her voice quiet. Quieter than you’ve ever heard her. But it doesn’t matter, your heart skips a beat, a rush of relief flooding through you in waves.
Without hesitation, you reach across the bed to take her hand. “Really?” you breathe, unable to hide the hope in your voice.
Leah nods, a shy smile playing at the corners of her lips. “Yeah,” she says softly. “I think I do”
#leah williamson#leah williamson x reader#awfc#awfc x reader#engwnt#engwnt x reader#woso#woso x reader#woso imagine#woso community
595 notes
·
View notes
Text
Jujutsu kaisen men Green and Red Flag Part II.
🟢🔴
part 1 / part 3 / part 4
Music suggestions 🎵: The weeknd- Trust Issues
Check out part I here.
Megumi Fushiguro:
☘️Green Flags:
• Good listener.
• Would listen to you vent for hours.
• Gives good advice.
• Mature.
• Very loyal (similar to his dad)
• Supportive.
• Trusts you so much.
• Will Cook absolutely anything you'd like.
• Reads.
• Has little to no social media.
• Logical thinking.
🥀Red Flags:
• Rarely will talk on phone or video call.
• Silent when he's upset or mad.
• Hates to open up.
• Doesn't know how to express his love to you.
• Scolds you a lot if you put yourself in danger / do something stupid.
• Acts cold most of the time even tho he loves you the most.
• Puts on a brave face all the time.
Choso:
☘️Green Flags:
• A softie.
• Isn't afraid to cry publicly.
• Would show his emotions.
• Loyal as fvck.
• Cries when both of you express your love.
• Cries when you do something cute for him.
• A protector.
• Very gentle in the way he talks and the way he touches you.
• Clingy.
• Would definitely give you the best time of your life when doing it, leaving you wanting more.
🥀Red Flags:
• Gets jealous easily.
• Obsessive.
• Would fight anyone who dares to look your direction.
• Can get insecure and doubts your love towards him.
• Needy af.
• Gets upset / sad easily.
• Has anger issues ( he can control it when it's with you but can never control it when it's someone else).
#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen masterlist#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jujutsu gojo#jujutsu geto#jujustsu kaisen x reader#megumi imagines#fushiguro megumi#megumi headcanons#megumi x reader#jjk choso#choso x reader#jujutsu kaisen choso#sukuna imagines#sukuna headcanons#toji headcanons#toji x you#gojo smut#geto x y/n
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Thinking about how Levi would become 100x hotter after he has a child with you. Be it postwar!Levi or season 4 Levi...after you give him his firstborn, he becomes even more manly. His aura just drives you in, his muscled arms, sharp jawline, the way he always looks after your child and how he cares for them, everything makes him so attractive.
The sex is a lot more intense too, Levi has you literally screaming as he pounds his cock into you, bed shaking from his intense thrusts. His abs flex, head thrown back as sweat drips down his neck and chest. "Maybe I should cum in this tight pussy of yours hmm? Want me to make you a mommy again?" He is a lot more brave about what how he wants you in bed and what he wants to do to you. And oh my, let's not start on when he gets the chance to eat you out because your legs are jelly afterward, he can eat your pussy for hours and makes sure to make it as pleasurable for you as he can...
#levi#levi x reader#levi ackerman#aot levi#captain levi#attack on titan#levi attack on titan#levi smut#levi x you#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman smut#levi x fem!reader#levi ackerman x female reader#levi ackerman x y/n smut#levi x reader smut#levi ackerman x you#Levi ackerman x reader smut#levi x y/n#shingeki no kyoujin levi#levi aot#aot x y/n#aot smut#aot x reader#attack on titan smut
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
East Palace, West Palace in ep5 of Blue Canvas of Youthful Days
I have been punched in the solar plexus by Blue Canvas of Youthful Days episode 5. So much happens in that episode that is overwhelming, from Qi Lu setting up a Netflix-and-chill date with the clear intention of making a move, to his putting on the famous film East Palace, West Palace (1996), to Qi Lu hiding Qin Xiao in the closet, to Qi Lu's panic at his father realizing he's been lied to, to the devastatingly practiced way Teacher Liu steps to Qi Lu being abused and handles his father, to the way Qi Lu shuts down, to the way QIn Xiao keeps sending mixed signals and Qi Lu calls him on it directly. And nobody else in this episode let me rest either; Tan Fan trying to ask Teacher Liu to wait for him and Liu brushing him off AGAIN, and Turtle trying to call out
@lurkingshan was already more coherent than I can be right now about what happened in the episode in her post.
So instead I want to focus on some queer cinema history that this episode evoked by using East Palace, West Palace as the film that Qi Lu shows to QIn Xiao.
For those who don't know, EPWP is considered to be the first realistic depiction of a gay man in film by a mainland Chinese production. It is to my knowledge the first time a gay man says "I love you" to another man on screen. It was made before being gay was decriminalized in China (1997), and it was filmed by an independent production company and smuggled out of China to France in order to be finished and distributed. It ended up at the Cannes festival in 1997, but the director's passport was seized and he was placed under house arrest to prevent him from attending. Despite pressure to pull the film, it still aired that year. In 1998, the Film Law was passed to prevent anyone from making films outside of the studio system (and therefore censorship review), effectively preventing anything like EPWP from being made in the future.
The film is about a gay man who cruises in the notorious bathrooms in the parks on either side of Tiananmen Square getting harassed by police officers (a situation extremely familiar to the historical queer experience in Canada [where I'm from] as well) and playing what I'd describe as a psychological game with one of them; A Lan kisses the cop, runs, and then gets caught a second time, and uses the second police confession as an excuse to tell his life's story in the public record, all while pushing the police officer a little further into deviance. As far as I'm aware, this film has been banned in China since being made and never shown (please correct me if I'm wrong about that!).
This is hitting me hard because of the much more recent history of Blue Canvas of Youthful Days itself. As most of you know, but I'll capture here for posterity, episodes 1-4 of this show aired on iQIYI (a China-based app) on August 6, and within 24 hours they were pulled from the app with no information about the future episodes being shown. When I watched episode 5 today, after waiting for it for 3 months, I was immediately hit with a wave of anger that this gorgeous, emotionally moving and powerful episode had been held back from public consumption for months, for the same reasons that the film being shown within the episode had been withheld from viewing in its own country.
Censorship is such an ugly thing, it's hard to articulate but the emotions around it are so strong because we know, when they pull or refuse to show media that depicts our lives, it's because they don't want our lives to be real; they don't want us to exist. It's a very real threat. And to have this episode--which is all about an abused boy who is in very real danger but so bravely insisting that he shoot his shot and take his best chance at love and happiness anyway, using the iconic confession scene from one of the most famous banned films in Chinese queer cinema history to do it--to have this episode be the one that was prevented from airing......I am overwhelmed.
In the scenes they watch in episode 5, A Lan tries to prevent the officer from uncuffing him, and then the officer lets him go, but A Lan doesn't go far and comes back. He declares his love to the officer's face, and demands that his love be acknowledged and not dismissed. And the officer does not know what to do with it and reacts with violence, which is partially what A Lan has been angling at all along. The show really played with this by having all three of the couples in the show stymied by having their overtures dismissed this episode, but we almost didn't get to see it.
I'm so grateful this got distribution now, and on multiple platforms. Blue Canvas of Youthful Days is airing Saturdays and Sundays on GagaOOLala and Youtube (note, as per @thisonelikesaliens's excellent language posts, the subs on Gaga are much better), and on Mondays on Viki. I know there is an avalanche of content right now, but this show is so good and worked so hard to make it to us, please give it some love!
#blue canvas of youthful days#east palace west palace (1996)#typed so that i can stop thinking it#queer history
93 notes
·
View notes
Text
lights, camera, bitch, smile!
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺ now playing: taylor swift - "i can do it with a broken heart"
summary: it's your first time headlining the biggest music festival in the country, and your guitarist is nowhere to be found. good thing your other headliner-- and billboard chart rival-- can play guitar, right? right? (rockstar!gojo x popstar!reader)
wc: 2.73k
cw/tags: implied fem!reader but gn pronouns used, rivals to lovers, he falls first, mild angst (descriptions of a panic attack)/fluff with happy ending
note: this is another fic as a part of @ficsforgaza and a gift for @um-no-ok for donating and supporting palestinian families! interested in being a part of this initiative? check out my masterpost ! hope you enjoy this, i had a lot of fun writing it :)
likes, reblogs, and replies are appreciated!
“You’re sure the flight is still running late?” You plead, head in your hands as the tech lead, your publicist, and your manager sit apologetically on the other sofa in your trailer. “We can’t send out a car to go grab them from the airport as soon as they land?”
“Getting off festival grounds will be hard enough, not to mention battling the traffic of incoming guests,” the tech guy reminds you with a shake of his head, exhaling deeply as his radio crackles, another warning that you need to be on stage to sound check. In a matter of hours, you would be headlining the biggest music festival in the country, and both your guitarists were stranded hundreds of miles away. They should have known better than to take a gig right before the festival, but you let them do it anyway because it was only a 30 minute flight between the airports. But, after a stray bird flock nearly downed another passenger plane, the tarmac was backed up for the time being. “Can you try asking around to see if someone can fill in for them?”
“And maybe hire them instead,” your publicist mutters under her breath, seething. You shoot her a wry smile, absentmindedly fidgeting with the plug of your in-ear monitors.
“The band is out trying to find guitarists, but it’ll be hard to ask someone to fill in because of scheduling issues and the number of stages there are this year.” Your manager takes a peek at her watch and looks at you with regret. “You need to go soundcheck, guitarists or not.”
“We have a drummer, a bassist, two keyboardists, and a vocalist. You’re gonna make them go out there with a jazz band and expect them to sing the biggest pop songs on the planet?” Your publicist, bless her heart, voices what you’d been dreading since you got the call from your lead guitarist. It was the biggest test to your professionalism since your career took off and you silently wished you’d paid attention to those tour bus guitar lessons. “How bad would it be to push back the set, even thirty minutes?”
“Bad, very bad. There’ve already been more delays than anticipated that aren’t music related,” the tech lead replies with a grimace. Your publicist curses under her breath and gives you a look telling you to get on stage. “And, it’s too late to fly in guitar tracks, even if we had them.” Shit. You’d just have to trust your team to figure something out, you figure, grabbing your sunglasses from the coffee table and exiting the trailer.
The rest of your band is already plugged in by the time the golf cart drives you to the main stage where you’d be performing. The ruthless summer sun competed with barely any clouds, blazing anything in its sight and leaving you breaking a sweat, even in the shade. A stage hand slips a wireless pack onto the waistband of your shorts and the click of the volume knob brings you the dweedling sounds of your band. The audience lot is relatively empty, thankfully, save for a few brave souls who were taking care of sound. Steeling your nerves, you shoot the audio tent a thumbs up, pop in your in-ears, and wait for the click track to run.
CLICK! 2-3-4. CLICK! 2-3-4. Intro, 2-3-4. 1…2…1-2-3 and–
The synth intro of your walkout song rings concerningly quiet in your ears and you tap your in-ears a few times, signaling the sound tent with a thumbs-up until the rest of the keyboards are audible. Not a great start to sound check, but that’s what this time was for, right?
CLICK! 2-3-4. CLICK! 2-3-4. Drums and bass in. 1…2…1-2-3 and–
Nothing.
The click continues its monotonous beat and you vaguely make out bass at the bottom of your mix, but you and your drummer look at each other with the same confused expression. She taps her ears, shaking her head.
“W-Wait, wait, wait. Can we stop, please?” You speak your request into your mic, disheartened to not hear your own voice in your mix. The synths stop abruptly, as does bass, and a dozen tech people rush onstage to fix various audio problems. “This is a nightmare,” you mutter, wiping the beads of sweat accumulated on your forehead.
“It’s always mix issues, isn’t it?” As if your irritation couldn’t increase, your eye twitches on its own when you register the voice of the person standing at the bottom of the stage. All shining white hair and dark, round rimmed sunglasses, Gojo Satoru was the last person you wanted to be interacting with. To say he looked good would be an understatement and your eyes look for any place to focus on other than his chest under his unbuttoned shirt. “For what it’s worth, you sound pretty on the mic.”
“What do you want?” Your voice is tired already, as is your entire body. Figuring out who would replace both your guitarists had sapped your energy and doors weren’t even open yet. “I don’t have the time nor the energy to debate with you today–”
“Heard you were looking for guitarists,” he cuts in and you narrow your eyes. The last thing you needed was your Billboard chart rival mocking you and your current situation. “Oh, c’mon. Don’t look at me like that. You and I both know you’re in a less-than-ideal spot right now.”
“Choose your next words very wisely, Gojo,” you seethe, using every ounce of your willpower to remain civil. “If you’re here to tease me, I don’t wanna fucking hear it.”
“I wanna help you,” he says before you’ve stalked out of earshot. “I can fill in for your lead and Suguru can play rhythm. I’ve already talked to him about it and he’s down. We’ve got the chords alright, but if anything funky happens, we’ll just follow your bassist. We’re pros for a reason, aren’t we?”
“I don’t need your help, Gojo,” you lie, desperately looking around for anything to get you out of this conversation.
“Thought I told you to call me Satoru when we were at that awards show.” His voice was always velvet smooth, disarmingly charming, and you hated the way it drew you in like a moth to a candle.
“I don’t remember that; and, if you did, I still don’t care.” We’re back on, says a voice through your ears. Starting the click on your cue, lead.
“Seems like you don’t remember a lot about what happened that night. I wouldn’t mind recounting it for you since it seemed like you had so much fun,” he baits coolly and you fall for it, storming back to the front of the stage and looking him square in his pretty face. Memory remnants of dancing in colorful strobe lights and running your hands through his hair appear in your mind’s eye before you can stop them, and it must register on your face. “Ah, so maybe you do remember what happened if you’re this angry about it.”
“We’re rivals, Gojo,” you hiss, your vision close to going scarlet. “We’re not supposed to be buddy-buddy, and what happened at that afterparty was a slip of my better judgment.”
“We’re not supposed to be, or you’re scared to be?” His question hangs in the air and you have no choice but to glare at him, waiting for him to back down when you know he never will. After a long pause, he sighs, raking his fingers through his hair. “Look, I know you’re in need of guitarists and I just wanna help. Consider it a favor.”
“Favors need to be paid back,” you counter skeptically, “and you’re the last person I want to owe.”
“Not my kind of favors,” he says, more genuinely than you’re used to him being. “Just…think about it, yeah?” You don’t have time to dwell on why he was being so nice to you, though, as you give the audio tent a thumbs-up again. CLICK! 2-3-4. CLICK! 2-3-4. Intro, 2-3-4. 1…2…1-2-3 and–
By the time you’ve suffered through soundcheck, changed into your stage outfit, and inhaled more setting spray than should be considered healthy, the sun has become a laser. Gojo is nowhere to be found, thankfully, and you spend the rest of the time before your set pacing your trailer like a caged animal. There wasn’t any room in your mind to think about the crowd, the heat, or the extensive team counting on you to make it a worthwhile show. All that you could focus on was your lack of guitarists and the proposition from your #1 enemy in the music industry. Before you could cross from the kitchen tile to the living area carpet for the umpteenth time, the door threw itself open to reveal your breathless manager.
“We found guitarists! Let’s go, before they change their mind,” she commands. You thank the music festival gods for whomever she found, even happier knowing that it couldn’t be Gojo and Geto because their band had just finished on the other largest stage. “You ready?”
“As I’ll ever be,” you answer uneasily, still reeling from switching panic-mode into show-mode within minutes. “Let’s just hope they’re good.”
This next artist needs no introduction…
The golf cart parks sidestage.
Dominating the pop charts for twelve straight weeks, taking the industry by storm…
You wink at the handful of screaming fans that spot you before ducking backstage.
And nominated for the most prestigious awards in the music world…
The stagehand slips the pack onto the waistband of your pants and hands you a mic.
Performing live and streaming around the world… [CLICK! 2-3-4. CLICK! 2-3-4. Intro, 2-3-4. 1…2…1-2-3 and–] Make some noise for–
“Yo, Satoru. You got an extra pick?” Your synths come in at the same time you whirl around, heart dropping into your stomach when you see the two guitarists behind you. You recognize Geto with his signature black hair tied up in a bun and catching rays of sunlight reflecting off the turtle shell body of his electric guitar. The limited interactions you had with Geto were pleasant, but the same couldn’t be said about the other musician fishing a pick from his leather pants. “Thanks,” Geto says as he sticks the spare in his pocket, clocking your shocked expression and giving you an apologetic shrug. “Sorry we’re a little late, the set ran a little long because this dumbass wanted to do another encore. I made the golf cart guy race over here, though.” He motions in the direction of your temporary lead guitarist, who unsuccessfully tries to clean his sunglasses with his fishnet shirt. “Oi, hotshot. Get ready, we’re on soon.” CLICK! 2-3-4. CLICK! 2-3-4. Drums and bass in. 1…2…1-2-3 and–
“They’re smudged,” Gojo pouts and you act without thinking, snatching the glasses from his hands, wiping it on your own costume, and handing it back to him without meeting his gaze. “Oh. Thank you,” he mumbles, sticking them on his face and trying to catch your eye. There were too many things happening at once for you to worry about him.
“Mhmm. Thanks for filling in,” you choke out with no trace of malice, the pressure in your forehead and chest becoming suffocating. The gravity of your performance crashes down on you in one disorienting wave and you blink in an attempt to clear the sudden blurry spots in your vision. Hundreds of thousands of eyes, waiting on you, watching you, worshiping you. The biggest performance of your career thus far, and you were going onstage prepared with nothing but a terrible soundcheck and two rock stars that probably didn’t give a shit about pop music. It was too much, it was all too much–
“Hey.” It’s him, breaking through the static as the click fades into the background, any panic replaced by the feeling of your biggest rival lightly touching the side of your face. He wipes a stray bead of sweat from your forehead, and you’re close enough to see every shimmering fleck of turquoise in his eyes. The crowd noise is staggering, but all he sees is you. “You look beautiful.”
“Satoru,” you whisper, barely able to verbalize your panic. He understands anyway, confidence radiating from his body.
“I’m with you. I’ve gotcha,” he reassures you, letting you mirror him as he takes a deep breath. “You trust me?” CLICK! 2-3-4. CLICK! 2-3-4. Guitars in, vocals enter. 1…2…1-2-3 and–
“I-I do.”
“Great.” His grin is dazzling, heart-stopping. All of him, he’s yours. “Let’s have some fun, then.”
—
You sleepily blink open an eye as you register the ringtone for your publicist playing on the nightstand. Outstretching a tired arm, you find it a little hard to move with the other occupant of the bed securing you against his chest. You mutter Satoru’s name, unsure if he’s awake yet; he grunts with his eyes still closed and you figure it’s unconscious, the way his muscles tighten around your waist to pull you closer. You groan as the phone screen blinks off, then on again with another insistent call.
“Satoru, you need to let me go.”
“I already did that once,” he mumbles into the pillowcase, “and I’m not making that mistake again.”
“I need to pick up the phone, baby. It’s my publicist,” you counter gently and it’s his turn to groan, reluctantly peeling away to rub his eyes. “Thank you,” you say sweetly, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before answering the phone.
There you are. Good morning, Sleeping Beauty, says your publicist, her incredulity obvious.
“Mhmm, good morning to you too. Everything okay?” You squint against the morning sun breaking through the windows of Satoru’s loft, the city skyline casting rainbows on the walls.
Everything’s great, just wanted to let you know what’s been happening media-wise.
“They figure out where we are yet?”
Not yet, no. But, you know how these things go. They’ll find you eventually, so savor the time you have with him now. Right now, you have a lot of late-night outlets asking for interviews and a few charity ball performances lined up. It’s all stuff you can handle, don’t worry. Aside from the scheduling talk, her warnings were things you already knew. It was weeks before social media users finally settled down after Satoru and Suguru joined you on stage. Satoru had even convinced you to create a burner account so you could scroll through all the edits and fancams of you two. Now that you’d reconciled your feelings about Satoru and agreed to let you two make up for all the time you lost to your stubbornness, it was relatively peaceful. On another note, I did see a pretty cute reel counting all the times he looked at you during your festival set.
“Yeah? And how many times was it?”
More than you looked at him, which is saying something, she chuckles. I’m still reeling from how chaotic the crowd was when those two walked out with you. You’d think there was a fire breaking out, or something.
“They were pretty loud, weren’t they?” You smile softly at the memory of strutting out in your boots with Satoru and Suguru on either side of you. “I think they went crazier when Satoru started soloing, though.”
“I’m not called the best for nothing, sweetheart,” he murmurs from behind you with a smirk. “These hands are worth millions, and you get them for free–”
“Okay, that’s enough from you,” you cut in before he says anything more. “Please, ignore him.”
What’d he say?
“Nothing important.” Your cheeks heat and you shoot him a look over your shoulder, only to be met by a self-satisfied wink that makes your heart race.
I’ll take your word for it. What’s your plans for today?
“Breakfast, probably, and then maybe head down to the shopping district.”
That’s pretty public, no?
“I don’t mind. I’m ready for whatever they throw at us,” you shrug, honestly feeling like you couldn’t care less about being seen with Satoru. You look over at him again and find boyish, giddy excitement written all over his face. He was yours and you were his, mind, body, and soul. Let the cameras come, let the tabloids rave, let the fake fans criticize, you think to yourself.
As long as you two were together, you were untouchable.
if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)
#fics for gaza#gojo x you#gojo x reader#gojo x y/n#satoru x you#satoru x reader#satoru x y/n#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x y/n#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x y/n#gojo fluff#gojo angst#rockstar!gojo au
170 notes
·
View notes
Text
My thoughts about goodomensverse (I'm clinically insane) (my personal opinion) (long post)
Book Crowley:
- absolute disaster
- lonely boy
- grumpiest
- he's so in love with Aziraphale but didn't even realised yet
- a bit dumb sometimes ngl
- very tired
- he's trying so hard save earth and everything he knows but everytime he tries to explain why it's always AZIRAPHALE
- sometimes he's like... your old gay uncle, the old gay uncle of the family except it's a 6000 years old gender fluid demon
- HISS LIKE A SNAKE GANG
- got called dear once and them died (figuratively)
Radio Crowley:
- flirty
- "Humm have you ever seen me in a dress~~??"
- he's like flirting with Aziraphale 24/7
- 0 patience this man is a BOMB
- if Aziraphale ever EVER got slightly flirty with him back he will EXPLODE
- smartest of them all, he's very intelligent
- HISS LIKE A SSSSSNAKE GANG
- he's so in love with Aziraphale and it makes him SO FRUSTRATED
- his Aziraphale is the hardest one to reach, maybe this is why he's so deliberately obvious and direct with him (he's resilient, he will never give up)
- he's like a tsudere teenager collegial except he's a 6000 years old demon with serious issues
- not called dear yet poor soul </3
TV Crowley:
- SILLY
- he's the dumbest of them all, sorry 😭
- red hair
- he's so in love with Aziraphale and everyone notice it's SO OBVIOUS
- he's the most affected by The Bookshop Burning ™ event
- the only one who got to kiss the angel, good for him ig, or sorry, idk
- anxiety bomb he literally (literally) EXPLODE
- strongest soldier bc his Aziraphale is IMPOSSIBLE
- got dumped 2 times more than the others someone pls help him
- the most brave tho
- doesn't hiss a lot :/ free him from this madness let him hiss
- he's like a puppy with giant yellow eyes except it's a 6000 years old snake demon that lies all the time
- protective as hell this man wouldn't let anyone near Aziraphale if possible
- got called dear but at what cost??????????????
Book Aziraphale:
- Anxious all the time, religious trauma except the god is your father and he left you and never talk to you again and the guard angels are your siblings and they want you do be dead
- He's so soft he wants so bad to comfort Crowley but he's really hard to reach
- his Crowley is the most difficult of all of them, he needs to circle him a lot to get in touch
- this man got called names so often I don't think he even cares anymore
- he's very nerdy
- he's the calmest of them all
- really chill
- everyone is so mean to him for no reason
- he has 1 braincell tbh and it's really bad bc his Crowley is not that brilliant too they're both stupid sometimes
- he really REALLY wants to be with Crowley and Crowley only, he sounds almost obligated to be with heaven
- he is really kind to others even when they don't deserve
- he called Crowley dear once and then implode
Radio Aziraphale:
- full of himself
- bastard
- the most closed and oblivious of them all
- he tries to play cool with Crowley all the time (he's slowly getting insane and someday he will jump on this man)
- he's the most self sufficient one he barely holds on Crowley to anything and they're pretty independent
- Crowley can say shit like "Miss me angel~~??" and he would keep a bored face and not react at all (he screamed with the walls 4 hours later)
- he's also a tsudere collegial but he at least try to look cool and composed in public
- he's the Aziraphale that most believes in heaven, he's sure they are good and selfless and the right side
- he's not so brilliant tbh but he got a lot of spirit
- the most active Aziraphale ?? He really put his hand in the dirt and do the things alone
- the most angry and bad tempered of them all, bro scream "WE ARE CLOSED LOOK AT THE DAMN SIGN" when ppl barely touch the bookshop door
- he has a lot of patience with Crowley, not deserved tbh bc he thinks it's his personal job to get in Aziraphale's nerves
- overall he is polite
- he's really proud of their "arrangement" there not only one chance he let go without saying that
- he likes to provoke Crowley sometimes too but not as much as the other way around
- if he ever call Crowley dear he will explode
TV Aziraphale:
- bitchiest
- this man need to be sedated what the fuck Aziraphale
- most nuts of then all he's CRAZY
- he's the most up to do shit with Crowley they're insane together
- he doesn't let Crowley rest he is flirting and being cute and hitting on Crowley all the time
- he's so obviously in love with Crowley its embarrassing
- he's the fruitiest he's the entire salad
- the most... indulgent, if I can say, of them all
- more like an employer of heaven, different of book Aziraphale
- he's the only one with almost white hair
- he got kissed but at what cost
- he's the most intelligent of all of them how can he be this dumb
- he loves little things about earth and humans and life and he seems to be the Aziraphale that most love EARTH itself, like, the life, the humans, the food, the little pleasures we have, the little time of happiness we have between all the shit that is happening... he really loves humans <3
- he's conflicted about heaven, he seems to know that there's something WRONG with how heaven works but still doesn't understand what exactly it is
- "oh but saving me makes him soooo happyyyy~~~"
- overall kind and sweet, in a excited way
#good omens#good omens 2#aziracrow#crowley#Aziraphale#radio omens#good omens radio#good omens book#thats my opinion#more like some thoughts i have been collecting since im hearing radio omens#not really accurate#does this count as character study????#lol I think not#maybe i have a preference for radio Aziraphale i wrote so much more about him and ended up erasing it all bc it made me look insane#shit its 2 am I'm so sleepy
552 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Mind my own business"
Sure. Right as soon as you stop advocating for people with mental health issues to be able to slip through the cracks and cut off body parts before they understand the gravity of having it happen.
The medical oath says to "do no harm" if a 14 y/o, decides "I don't want kids" you'd be a MORON to even consider it. Biology is a funny thing. And when your clock starts ticking, you tend to want to have kids. However how most people or doesn't kick in until they're late 20's early 30's. After 36 for women, there's a lot of risk in both child birth, and the health and development of the child.
By the same metric kids can't make those choices. They CAN'T understand the gravity of those choices. Because those choices sterilize them, can damage their growth, cause chronic illnesses like early onset osteoporosis. But you wouldn't know that would you. Of course not. And sure bodily autonomy is a thing but not when that requires the actions of another person.
You can shove your bullshit. My friend almost killed herself because of rhetoric like yours. Goes of to college, meets new people. Thinks they are her friends. She's a tomboy. They slow rolled her into thinking she was a man. They got her on T within 4 months of her being there and the day before she was going to get her BREASTS REMOVED she called me naw bawling her eyes out. Saying she wanted to die. She didn't recognize herself. Realized she was pushing me away because all her new "friends" said I was a bad influence on her.
Her, "found family" as it were. I was on the phone with her for THREE FUCKING HOURS trying to make sure she didn't kill herself. Texted her mother to go get her. Low and behold. NOT A FUCKING MAN just a boyish girl. And under your "it's not your business" mentality, had she gone though it, she probably would be dead right now. Her choice right? No therapist needed right? No road blocks right? Just let them get a testosterone high then when it wears off and they realize what they've done.
No more love bombing. No more, "you're so brave". Just left with your thoughts and removed body parts. Staring a stranger down in the mirror with a likely litany of other medical problems other than the chemical depression.
So how about you mind your own fucking business. I care about people's health. You clearly don't. And more over kindly remove your head from your own ass. You DON'T get to tell me what's my business. How many people have to die for your bullshit. How many have to live with medical issues for the rest of their lives? How many have to never be able to have kids. How many get to NEVER experience a real intimate relationship. But sure. "Bodily autonomy".
Cut the crap.
118 notes
·
View notes
Text
Don't give up yet, I'm not letting you | Inner Demons
⟫ Alphabet Challenge, D- Don't give up yet, I'm not letting you.
Pairings: leah williamson x teen reader, arsenal wfc x teen reader
Back again with another part, I've had a really shitty day if I'm honest and so, umm, writing this now has sort of helped, I guess?
Once again nothing has been proof-read so yeah, it won't make any sense maybe and this ones' a bit longer than the rest but once I get carried away I just can't stop so this is definitely going to have a few more parts to this one. I just don't know how many that will be, so I guess we'll see what happens.
Thank you each and every single one of you for the response to this small fic series so far, I'm so glad that people are liking it so much.
The confession you have made leaves the room feeling a tense atmosphere, the girls will not let you give up so easily so they make a decision on your behalf to help you on the right path to get better.
tw: heavy angst, mentions of SH, MH, suicide and death.
"What... What does that even mean?" Katie furrows her eyebrows as she looks at you for a more logical answer.
"I'm tired, I'm so tired and I can't keep on fighting this battle anymore" You speak quietly, afraid to meet their eyes.
Each one of them really did mean so much to you, they all look heart broken with the what you had confessed.
Steph, the Aussie girl that made you feel so loved
Kim, your captain who always talked sense into you
Jen, the brave Scots' woman who you can rely on
Caitlin, the second Aussie that you love despite how annoying she is
Katie, the Irish girl who acts all tough but is a total softie
Beth, the blonde who gives great advice when you need it
Viv, the dutch who you cheers you up when she sneaks you ice cream
Lia, the swiss girl that gives you the best hugs sometimes
& Leah, the one who stuck around and made you feel at home
Your family, you would really miss them all.
However, you knew it was time.
It was the only way, you couldn't do it any longer.
The battle was too hard, it needed to end.
"Y/N, you're awake!" Vic burst into the room and broke the sudden silence before she spins and looks back towards the door. "Less! Kyra! Lotte! Laura! Y/N/N is awake!" she shouts loud enough to get the attention of the three remaining girls not in the room.
As right on queue, the rest of the girls all run in and smile widely when they see you awake and sat up in the hospital bed.
"Y/N/N, you're awake!" Laura says as she grins at you before she walks over and hugs you.
"Hi Y/N/N!" Alessia smiles brightly, glad to see you're awake.
"Y/N/N!" Kyra shouted aloud, right down the blondes' ear beside her.
"Ow, Kyra. That was right down my ear" Alessia grumbles as she glares at the Aussie girl before she shakes her head and walks over to your beside to exchange a hug with you.
"Glad that you're awake, Y/N. You gave us all a scare" Lotte came over and gave you a gentle hug before she ruffles your hair.
None of them 4 girls had caught the glum expressions on the older girls' faces.
"So how long do you think it'll be before your back on the pitch and we can prank everyone?" Kyra questions taking it upon herself to plop herself down on the end of the bed.
"Hopefully not too long" You take the chance to put a front on in front of the girls in the room. "I'll be back before you know it and thrashing you out there!" you give her a grin to hide the deep pain inside.
"How're you feelin' kid?" Lotte glances at you concerned.
"Oh you know, fabulous. Just had the best 24 hour nap" You can't help but joke with the girls even with them all looking so distraught. "Ah come on girls, cheer up. I'm not dead yet, you know?" You tell them.
"I'm sorry no I can't do this. I can't sit here and pretend that everything is okay and fine, when it's not... It's far from okay" Leah spoke up as she goes to move off the bed from where she sat beside you.
"What's going on?" Vic asks confused, having not been in the room previously.
"Y/N/N is tired of life, she wants to give up on it" Leah tells them as her bottom lip wobbles at she tells the rest of the girls what you had said.
"W... What do you mean?" Laura asks, confused and not understanding what the blonde means.
"Y/N wants to die" Leah drops the bombshell before she presses a kiss that lasts longer than usual and then starts to walk away.
"What?" Alessia gasps as her eyes widen in shock as she looks at you.
"Wait, Le... No!" You shot up as you try and latch onto her arm. "Le, don't leave me... I need you-- Please, come back!" you shout aloud as you thrash your arms around.
"I'll go and find her" Lia is quick to follow her, leaving the rest of the girls all still staring at you.
"Y/N, you need to be careful of your bandages or there'll rip" Steph says gently as she looks concerned about your well-being now while she moves to stand by your beside.
"I don't care, I don't... I don't care! Leah! Don't go, come back!" You continue to put up a fight to get out of the hospital bed. "Please, please, c... come back!" you scream at the top of your voice.
What have you done? You made her so upset.
You've made them all so upset, your a horrible person.
Why did you have to blurt it out like that? Your so stupid.
Stupid, selfish... You're nothing but a huge let down.
The voices inside your head was taunting you, you just needed them to stop.
Watching the one person that's always stuck by your side, walk away, it hurts you more that you realise.
More than any pain you currently feel, why did you go and say that?
"Calm down Y/N/N. You'll make yourself sick if your not careful" Beth tells you as she moves to stand on the other side of the bed as she pulls you into her arms for a hug as you just break down into sobs.
"I... I don't care, I don't... Leah! Come back!" Your now sobbing as you still try and do your best to get out of bed to go after the blonde, although it wasn't any good when you had so many different wires and monitors attached to you. "Le, please... please, don't leave me!"
Why did it hurt so much for her to walk away like that? You really were so selflish.
"Deep breaths, Y/N. Just keep on taking deep breaths" Steph adds in, trying to make it to the point where you didn't get yourself too upset that you were physically hurting yourself again.
"I'll be back" Kim eyes you wearily as she exhales a sigh before she also leaves the room to go and find the two girls.
"Leah?" Lia found Leah sat slouched down against one of the walls outside of your hospital room.
Leah peers up to look at the Swiss women, "I can't be in there right now" she mumbles quietly. " I... I just can't do it, I can't sit there and listen to crack jokes about death and be so optemistic when she... when she said something like that, I just can't" she explains to the older girl.
"I know" Lia replies in agreement and moves sit beside her.
"She said that she wants to die, Wally" Leah states as she stares straight out in front of her.
"I... I know" Lia repeats as she exhales a sigh and wraps her free arm around the blonde.
"She said she wants out of life... I... I-- Why?" Leah asks in disbelief as the tears threaten to spill.
"I don't know, Le" Lia mumbles and bits her bottom slightly.
"S...She said she wants to die, Wally" Leah voice quiviers as she repeats what they heard. "She's a teenage girl, s... she has so much more to achieve, so much more-- H... How can she be so depressed about life that she would rather be dead instead?" she questions distraught.
"She's suffering Le" Lia swallows the lump that forms in her throat as she hugs the blonde in her arms. "She's been suffering for a long time and we just didn't know, but we can help now" she tries to speak positive about it all.
"I... I thought she was doing better, she... she was doing better. I don't get it, what happened that made her do this?" Leah wonders numbly as she roughly wipes the tears away and shakes her head. "We can't let her die, we can't let her give up just so easily. She needs to fight... She has to fight!" she adds in.
"We will help her, we won't let her suffer in silence anymore" Kim speaks up as she joins the two of them as she exhales a shaky breath. "Y/N is one of our own, we'll be there for her and she'll get better" she tells them honestly.
"But how can we do that when she doesn't even want the help?" Leah questions as she shakes her head in disagreement. "You heard her in there, Kim! You heard what she said, she doesn't want to live anymore, she did what she did on purpose. H... How can we help her?" she questions as her voice breaks even more.
"We need to make a plan, we can come up with a way to help her... Even if she doesn't want the help" Kim declares with determination in her voice.
"But how do we do that? We can't keep an eye on her 24/7, when we have training and stuff, can we?" Lia glances at the Scots' woman in confusion.
"We keep her in hospital where she'll be safe" Kim tells the two of them.
"And how do we do that? I imagine as soon as she gets the chance then she'll bolt out of here" Leah scoffs and shakes her head, knowing you all too well and you were stubborn when it come to some things.
"We don't let her have the chance to do that then, still is still a minor remember? Technically that means, that you, Leah, since you're her guardian so too speak, you can make that decision for her and notify the doctors of your concern for her own welfare" Kim explains to the blonde, which was somewhat true now since you had moved in with her.
"Keeping her here against her own will? She'd hate me then for sure" Leah mutters as she rubs her hands down her face, feeling the stress of everything even more when the decision was resting on her shoulders.
"She might do at first, but soon enough she'll realise that you're only doing this to help her because you love her just like we all do" Kim gives the blonde a sympathetic smile.
"Kim is right Leah, this will be the best thing for Y/N" Lia speaks up after she had been quiet for a bit.
Leah glances between the two girls that she is sat with. "Is it, really?" she asks, still unsure about it all.
"You know it is Le" Lia states, knowingly.
Okay, maybe Kim has a point there then.
This would be the best decision to make right now.
"Alright, but how do we get here to stay here?" Leah asks, not knowing how to even go about this.
"First things first, we-- you speak to the doctors, you tell them that she cut herself and has admitted that she intended to do it. That's validation for the doctors to detain her for up to 72 hours at least" Kim explains the logical side of it all.
"That is something that I don't think she will like very much" Lia frowns, shaking her head as she listens to the older women.
Leah frowns and shakes her head. "A psych hold? I don't think she'll like that very much" The Swiss women tells her captain
"No, she won't but she won't have much choice if the doctors believe she's at risk of hurting herself again" Kim confesses to them as she exhales a deep sigh. "The doctors will run further assessment to determine whether they need to keep her in for longer and in the mean time, it gives us chance to talk to Jonas and the medical staff, fill them in what's happened and create a proper plan going forward" she adds in.
"And what if you determine that she needs to stay for longer than 72 hours?" Lia questions the Scots' woman.
"Then we cross that bridge when we come to it" Kim replies to the blonde as she moves to crouch down beside her.
"I know that it'll hurt to walk away and leave her here in the hospital Le, but you know as well that this is the right way, it's the only way for her to get better" Lia says honestly.
"Remember that Y/N is our family and we will always be there for her even if she will be mad at us about this" Kim adds in.
"Oh yeah, she is definitely going to be super mad about this" Leah chuckles in realisation about it.
Sure enough you would probably be mad with her, but Leah wasn't going to let you try and kill yourself again, not on her watch.
You were her family even if you were a complete pain is the ass sometimes, but you were her pain in the ass to deal with.
#arsenal x reader#woso x reader#arsenal women x reader#leah williamson#woso#woso imagine#woso fanfics#leah williamson x teen!reader#heavy angst#arsenal x teen!reader#woso one shot#leah williamson x reader#arsenal wfc x reader
279 notes
·
View notes