#4 more hours. i can do it. i can be brave for 4 more hours

[mars-ipan]

folks the process for getting a license as an adult is Boring As Shit

[muse-write]

.

[orcelito]

Despite all odds, I have arrived home safely👍

Turns out that the earlier goop was the better goop. The adderall goop. The adderall has worn off now though. So I am. Very incredibly out of it.

But I am home. And I will take my quick shower. And then I will climb into bed.

I do need to eat. But... later...

[hope-for-the-planet]

I'm scared for the future. The year starts with WTF, trump is in the Whitehouse. They're are 3...no 4...Idfk how many wars and humanitarian crises. We're are 90s seconds (probably lower in 2025) to midnight on the doomsday clock. And the earth is getting hotter by the half-hour. I'm scared of dying and I'm pretty sure we're alone in the universe. So how in the flibity flabuty F**k! Do you stay so positive? (Genuinely I want to know)

Hi Anon!

This may not be the most satisfying answer, but a lot of it is practice.

Pivoting away from negative thought spirals, knowing when the despair is welling up and it's time to put the news down for a bit, being aware of the human tendency for negativity bias that feeds the media bias towards catastrophizing, seeking out stories of progress and people helping each other even if it's not glamorous or flashy or immediate. These get easier the longer you practice.

Truly, I have never been aware of how much this hope practice has paid off until this year. I won't say that I don't have bad days, but the strategies I have to deal with them and keep the bad news from driving me to disengagement feel like muscle-memory now.

I know this may not feel terribly helpful to you, but I say this to express that it is not some unique element of my personality that allows me to stay hopeful in the face of bad news--it is a skill that you can get better at too.

One really big part of this is to combat the bombardment of negative information by looking for positive information. News of progress, resistance, and people coming together to make a difference are a great place to start--but also hopeful and inspiring art (books, movies, TV shows, visual art, theater, etc.), research into human goodness and altruism, reading not just about the dark times in human history but also the times that people worked together to make things better. I just finished reading Hope for Cynics by positive psychologist Jamil Zaki, which I highly recommend if you feel like delving into the good side of human nature.

The more you train your brain to look for hope the more you will notice--one day you'll hear bad news and your knee-jerk reaction will be to turn towards possible solutions and wonder who is already working to make those solutions a reality.

I understand living in that place of fear and hopelessness--I have spent time there too and some days I still do. But hope is something worth working towards, even slowly and imperfectly. It doesn't just feel better to live in a world where you can see the possibility for things to be better than they are right now--it is the first step in being engaged in helping to make them better.

There are so many kind, brave, talented, imperfect, regular people pushing back against the bad things. None of us are alone. None of us have to save the world by ourselves. We only have to hope enough to be one small part of the process of making the world better than it would have been otherwise, in whatever ways we can.

[mandarinmoons]

Hi! I’ve been following you for a little while now and I just adore your writing! And I’m feeling brave to finally request a thing ☺️ could I please request an angst/ hurt comfort thing where the unsub kidnaps/ tortures reader. Maybe he and reader are in a secret relationship? And I don’t know I just have this image of Spencer getting frustrated that he can’t find reader and he’s all “BECAUSE I LOVE HER” I don’t know I’m kinda babbling and you can do whatever you want with the request bc your writing is amazing!!

“Spencer! Spencer, help me!”

Those were the last words Spencer heard before you were pushed to the back of a van and taken off into the night.

Spencer was frozen for a moment before the adrenaline kicked in and he ran after you, but he was too late. The car drove off so fast that he never stood a chance. His heart broke when reality set in, where were you being taken? Were you going to be okay? Was he ever going to see you again?

Those were the questions that played over again in his mind as he paced in an office at The BAU. After being treated for some cuts and bruises, Spencer was quick to get back to the line of duty to try and find you. Hotch, however, stopped Spencer from taking another step out the door.

“You need to rest. It’ll do you no good to be out there right now.”

Spencer wanted to fight, he knew you better than anyone else on the team, but with his leg aching he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep up with the search, so he had to stay back.

He felt the taste of blood in his mouth as he was biting his chapped lips so hard they started to bleed. He remembered how you always reminded him to try and quit the habit, a light chuckle left his lips at the memory and he stopped the gnawing so you wouldn’t be too stern with him once you were back.

Or if you were back. No, you had to come back, you just had to, he couldn’t lose you. His anxiety spiked again and he started pacing through the room again, this time with his breathing more irregular.

Penelope noticed Spencer’s actions and quickly moved to try and calm her friend down. She walked to the room and tried to take a hold of Spencer’s arm to try and get him to stop pacing, her fingers caressing his forearms as she tried to get him to take deep breaths.

“Spence, it's okay, we will find her.”

“How? I can’t do anything from here and it’s driving me insane.”

“We’ve found her before and we will do it again just like all the other times.”

“This isn’t like the other times.”

“How?”

“Because I love her!”

Penelope blinked a few times and took in the words Spencer had said. She had her suspicions, which now turned out to be true, but she wished this would’ve been revealed during different circumstances.

You and Spencer had been dating for the past 4 months. With both of you being pretty private individuals you decided to keep the relationship under wraps for the time being, keeping it professional at work and would only attend to more intimate things behind closed doors of each other’s homes.

It was hard at times. There were days when a case was so stressful that both of you needed a break to hold each other, sometimes you’d maybe catch a break when you were in an office by yourselves and you’d press a quick kiss to each other’s lips. It was hard to hide the blush on your cheeks afterwards though and it would’ve been revealed soon enough, namely by Penelope who had gossiped with JJ about her hunch and they were betting to see how long it would take for the secret love birds to announce their feelings.

Apologizing at his outburst, Penelope paid no mind to Spencer’s reaction and pulled him in for a hug, letting him know that she was here for him, the whole team was, and that you would be returned home one way or another.

Hours later, Spencer managed to calm down enough to close his eyes to rest a bit, the only thing keeping him calm was holding onto your sweater. Your scent filled his nose and brought tears to his eyes, when would he be able to hold you again? It was already agony enough that he wasn’t able to have you in his arms during work hours, but now not knowing where you were made his brain work overtime.

His eyes fluttered open when he heard voices coming from outside the office, ecstatic ones it seemed.

Hoping for a miracle, Spencer scrambled to his feet and rushed out the door, his eyes searching for the reason he heard all of the glee. And then he saw it, you.

“Y/N,” Spencer practically ran to you, his arms scooping you into his embrace and holding onto you so tight so he knew he wasn’t hallucinating and that you were really here safe and sound.

“I’m okay Spence.”

Taking your face into his hands, Spencer’s thumbs brushed over the light cuts and bruises on your skin, trying his best not to exacerbate the pain.

“Thank God you’re okay.”

“I thought about you the entire time. You kept me going.”

With teary eyes and a chuckle leaving his lips, Spencer pressed his lips to your forehead in the most gentle way he could. Your arms wrapped around him as you tried to fight off the shaking, resting your head on his shoulder and taking in the warmth of his embrace.

You were safe again, in the arms of the man that meant to you the most.

You can find my masterlist here!

Let me know your thoughts in the comments and like & reblog to support <3

[reikoknshii]

🩸 scarlet..milk? 🥛

Doppelganger Francis Mosses (Milkman) x Reader

500+ words

Requested by; @FoxxyyThePirateFox in wattpad

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚

You're a newly Hired Doorman for a Apartment thats owned by D.D.D. It'll be fine, well thats what the D.D.D. operators said to you before you get started.

You opened the list of residents thats supposed to arrive.

' Angus Ciprianni '

' Nacha Mikaelys '

' Izaack Gauss '

' Arnold Schmicht '

'I can do this...i think?' You said to yourself as you breathed in and out before opening the metal door.

First thing to arrive shocked you, Its those twin models whom you saw in the magazine.Except...they only had a Giant Razor teeth on their face.

You didn't spend a minute to check their Documents as their appearance already proved they're not the real ones. You immediately click the emergency button and called the D.D.D. cleaning services.

"Does that mean ill...have to face more of those?" You asked to yourself as this job surely need intense observation, you don't want to let one in and let it kill the innocent lives of the apartment residents.

═════════•°•⚠️•°•═════════

You've seen... 4 doppelgangers that look horrifying, except for one, The Peach guy seem abit scary but they only said peach and nothing more.

You checked the list and hoped the one's you let in are the actual resident, you don't want to die just yet by your stupid decisions and weak observation.

You slump to your seat and groaned on the files you're holding. "Almost time, just a few more guest and ill close the entrance" you reassured yourself as you composed a brave and determined look.

"Mm...hello"

A voice said as you look up from the files and almost dropped it. "JESUS- WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?-"

you questioned the milkman who stayed silent for abit before answering. "I seem to have covered myself with scarlet milk..mm.."

You dart your eyes on his ID and Entry request, as he stared intensely at you through the protected glass window.

"I...never heard of it" you said nervously about the 'Scarlet milk'.

"I assure you...its a better version of the milk we had" he said creepily as he showed a jug of a red substance labeled as 'Milk'. He smiled in an eerie way as you shivered in fear , getting goosebumps from his behavior.

"I seriously dont think thats milk-"

Your eyes went wide as he opens the jug of scarlet 'milk' and drinks it in front of you. The substance dripped from his mouth to his neck , he pulled the jug away and smiled widely through the protected glass window. The so called milk staining more of his milkman uniform as he slammed his fist on the window.

"L̸̖̽̌͂ẹ̿͋̒̕t̲̂̓ͩ̑ ḿ̬̏ͤͅẹ̿͋̒̕ ỉ͔͖̜͌ṇ̤͛̒̍.."

You shrieked in fear as you slammed the emergency button from his creepy behavior, you were sure thats not the real Francis Mosses. The metal cover shut in front of him as he repeatedly bang his fist on the covers.

"Ỵ̛̖͋͢/ṇ̤͛̒̍...l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕t̲̂̓ͩ̑ ḿ̬̏ͤͅẹ̿͋̒̕ ỉ͔͖̜͌ṇ̤͛̒̍, l̙͖̑̾ͣẹ̿͋̒̕t̲̂̓ͩ̑ ḿ̬̏ͤͅẹ̿͋̒̕ ỉ͔͖̜��ṇ̤͛̒̍...L̸̖̽̌͂Ḛͭ̉̇͟T̨͈͗̌ͥ M͉̅ͮ͒ͤḚͭ̉̇͟ I̍̅̀̎̊N̺̻̔̆ͅ" said the doppelganger as you called the D.D.D. cleaning Services immediately out of fear.

═════════•°•⚠️•°•═════════

You were shaken by the current occurrences, your eyes darting everywhere from the window as your hour of  work shift ends. You closed the metal cover and got out of the office you're in, on the entrance window you see the blood covered jug on the floor and a small note...

"I'm watching you...."

[yanderedrabbles]

omg I'm drooling over the Yandere Pirate fic. But it's kinda got me curious - who do you think is the worst guy you've written? Who's the absolute biggest bastard?

(On the other end of the spectrum, I think Boyfriend yandere is still the sweetest)

Hoo boy have I written some awful men. I think Yandere! Pirate is pretty terrible because he masquerades his own lust and cruelty as kindness but he's nowhere near the worst. Let's rank 'em.

5. Yandere! Stalker/Cop is a nice guy most of the time, and as a boyfriend he's pretty great. But it's his stalker persona that gets him on this list. He's left your pet's head in a box for you to find. He's broken into your house more times than he can remember. He's threatened and frightened you, all for the sake of getting you in his arms.

4. Yandere! Cowboy is mean, possessive and overly territorial. Instead of asking you out for a dance or bringing you flowers, his idea of courting is pinning you against a wall and finger fucking you until you're shaking and crying and begging him to be gentle. He uses the expectations of society to force you into being his wife. No one will want you now that he's taken your virginity, you know that don't you sugar? And your daddy will be horrified to learn you've been fooling around out in the barn like a slut. You don't want him to find out, do ya?

3. Yandere! State Trooper gets off on power, no two ways about it. He tries to be nice about it at first, make you rely on him by getting rid of all those pesky speeding tickets. But when you don't fall for it, he gets awfully nasty. Police brutality is one word for it, and manipulative malpractice is another. And the worst part? His buddies on the force will always cover for him. If you ever get brave enough to take him to court, you'll find his body cam footage is totally scrubbed. And his dash cam just happened to be malfunctioning on the night in question. You're trapped by the long (and buff) arms of the law.

2. Yandere! Greek Champion is going to the worst place in the underworld for what he did to you. And even knowing that, he'd do it again. He has no fear of the Gods, no respect or reverence. He's a man willing to fuck a virgin priestess on the floor of her temple, right in front of the holy shrine. You think that sort of man will ever be kind? Or noble? No way baby.

And without further ado, the worst man I've written to date is....

Yandere! Cyberpunk Riot Control Officer. You knew it was coming. I knew it was coming. He wins this contest hands down (or tied behind your back preferably). Anal without prep or lube. Fucking you with the baton he was using to crack skulls a few hours ago. Manipulating riot laws just to have his way with you. He's an awful guy but even worse, he's the product of a State just as cruel and depraved as he is. How else could he get away with doing this to you?

(And they aren't even the worst I've thought of - more despicable bastards coming soon).

[yawnderu]

Lorelei — Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader | Part V

1 2 3 4 5 6

Synopsis: Aware of the way his lifestyle doesn't align with your dream life and unwilling to quit his life as a soldier, Simon breaks things off with you. It isn't until a year later that he sees you again, a tiny carbon copy of him held in your arms.

This chapter can be read as a one-shot without having to read the whole story! :)

"Are you staying for Christmas?" You ask casually, decorating the cookies you baked with Simon's help. Your daughter is sleeping peacefully in her crib, a small Santa Claus onesie on her, preparing her for the celebration even when there's still a few hours left.

"You want me to?" He asks with a raised eyebrow, brown eyes fully focused on decorating the head of one of the cookie figures, steady hand drawing a skull pattern with ease.

"It's her first Christmas, I think she'd like having her father around." I want you around as well. He's lucky you're focused on decorating your cookies, missing the way his face lights up with a proud smile. It's a lot of progress.

''Right. I got you both some presents in the car.'' He washes his hands on the sink, giving his daughter one last look before leaving the house, trying to gather as many of the gifts he bought as possible. ''Some presents'' was clearly an understatement— he has been building a pile of gifts for months, his car full of boxes and bags for both you and your little girl.

''Jesus Christ.'' You wash your hands and go help him as you see him struggling to carry the pile, taking some from him and putting them under the Christmas tree.

''There's more in the car.'' He seems almost sheepish as he confesses, giving him a small pat on the arm as you go outside to help him. You almost laugh as you look inside, the entire backseat full of presents. It's almost ridiculous, yet so charming how much he wants to make both of you happy, knowing how much it the holidays mean to you, especially now that you have a daughter.

''Isn't this... a bit overkill?'' You joke, earning you a playful pat on the ass now that your arms are busy. You miss the kick thrown his way, jogging after him with a smile when he playfully gets on the other side of the couch to avoid you getting revenge.

''I still got one more present coming, but that's for later.'' He walks back to the kitchen once he made sure you weren't going to kill him for patting your ass.

''I swear to God, Simon, if it's another d—'' He interrupts you by smearing frosting on your cheek, shooting you a cheeky smile that gets erased the moment you do it back— smearing way more than you should have all over his cheek.

''Bastard.''

Your baby was up by the time it was midnight, excited to see her mum and dad opening up presents and even joining in, tiny hands clearly struggling with the wrapping paper, yet somehow managing without help.

''Strong girl, like her mum.'' You smile softly at his words, looking at the way your daughter stares curiously at one of her last presents; a cactus activated by sound.

''Say 'hello'.'' Simon says, getting closer to the toy until it activates, dancing around and lighting up. Astrid looks confused as she looks at it, brown eyes looking up at you before looking back at the toy.

''Hello.'' He repeats, a warm smile on his lips when the toy starts dancing again, much to your daughter's confusion. She babbles at it, tiny hands reaching out to touch it once it starts moving and playing back her sounds, giggles escaping her lips as the toy imitates her laugh.

Simon's phone vibrates in his pocket, getting up from the couch before looking down at his phone with twinkling eyes.

''My mate's here, I'll be right back.'' He doesn't wait for you to reply, already out of the house before you can even say anything. Your focus is back to your daughter, happy that she enjoys playing with the toy rather than being scared of it like you've seen in videos online. Brave girl she is, not a single lick of fear in her.

Simon comes back a minute later, holding a big German Shepherd that can definitely walk on its own. You give him a questioning look as he sets it on the floor, holding his collar just in case.

''Absolutely not.'' You try to protest, yet your gaze softens when you see Astrid crawl to the dog.

''Wa-wa!'' She points out, tiny hands reaching up to pet the dog the same way you've taught her, gentle. The dog doesn't react much besides laying down on the floor for your daughter to pet it, making it much easier for her.

''His name's Riley, he's a retired K-9. Look, I'll pay for his food and even for someone to come take care of him when I'm not here, I just... want you to be safe.'' There's hints of pleading on his tone, eyebrows slightly furrowed as he looks at you.

''... I'll take care of him.'' You say with a small sigh, knowing Simon wants nothing else than for both of his girls to be safe, especially when he's deployed.

''We gave him extra training to deal with kids and emergencies. Big geezer's patient and good.'' He keeps trying to sell it as if you didn't say yes already, a small giggle escaping your lips before giving him a reassuring smile.

''We'll keep him, don't worry.'' You crouch down to pet the dog, who is clearly enjoying the attention from your daughter, allowing her to rest on his side while petting his head.

There's a smile on his face as he looks down at his family, hands fumbling with the small box in his pocket.

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taglist: @skulfan1 @survivalshxt @ghostslittlegf @yaebaal @thecubanator2 @juliediets @shescabob @kenz-ee @lothiriel9 @dragonstoneshortcake @lunamoonbby @alfie2401 @perfectus-in-morte @mxtokko @cloufie @killergoddess97 @imaracoon @thepurpleaccount @silas-222 @actuallyhiswife @havoc973 @catkatchuck @preeyansha

[animehideout]

Jujutsu kaisen men Green and Red Flag Part II.

🟢🔴

part 1 / part 3 / part 4

Music suggestions 🎵: The weeknd- Trust Issues

Check out part I here.

Megumi Fushiguro:

☘️Green Flags:

• Good listener.

• Would listen to you vent for hours.

• Gives good advice.

• Mature.

• Very loyal (similar to his dad)

• Supportive.

• Trusts you so much.

• Will Cook absolutely anything you'd like.

• Reads.

• Has little to no social media.

• Logical thinking.

🥀Red Flags:

• Rarely will talk on phone or video call.

• Silent when he's upset or mad.

• Hates to open up.

• Doesn't know how to express his love to you.

• Scolds you a lot if you put yourself in danger / do something stupid.

• Acts cold most of the time even tho he loves you the most.

• Puts on a brave face all the time.

Choso:

☘️Green Flags:

• A softie.

• Isn't afraid to cry publicly.

• Would show his emotions.

• Loyal as fvck.

• Cries when both of you express your love.

• Cries when you do something cute for him.

• A protector.

• Very gentle in the way he talks and the way he touches you.

• Clingy.

• Would definitely give you the best time of your life when doing it, leaving you wanting more.

🥀Red Flags:

• Gets jealous easily.

• Obsessive.

• Would fight anyone who dares to look your direction.

• Can get insecure and doubts your love towards him.

• Needy af.

• Gets upset / sad easily.

• Has anger issues ( he can control it when it's with you but can never control it when it's someone else).

[sirhamburrger]

blue lock characters when you come home after a bad week at work

characters: yoichi isagi, meguru bachira, rensuke kunigami, seishiro nagi, reo mikage

tags: gn!reader, reader is referred to as "cutie" in bachira's and "darling" in kunigami's, reo being a rich boyfailure

a/n: first ever blue lock post lol (divider by @cafekitsune)

yoichi isagi 潔 世一 : the quintessential gentleman

“hey, what's wrong? you know you can talk to me about anything.”

if you feel like talking about it, he'll sit beside you patiently and listen (even if it takes an hour and a half). if you don't feel like talking about it, he'll get you a cup of your comfort beverage and take a short nap with you

you'll definitely feel a lot better when you finally wake up in his arms, and he'll talk things through with you so patiently!

he makes sure to remind you of how strong and brave you are, and how much he loves you!!

“i want you to know that i love you and i will support you always, no matter what.”

meguru bachira 蜂楽 廻 : the supportive jokester

“look who's all moody today! c'mon, cutie, won't you lighten up a little?”

when he realizes there's something wrong, it's like someone flipped a switch on him because he gets so unbelievably serious and sits you down at the dining table

after he coaxes the full story out of you, he peppers your face with kisses, wiping your tears away gently

he will then proceed to hit you with a barrage of the worst dad jokes known to man until you're laughing at him laughing at himself

“i know i find it hard to take things seriously sometimes, but you? you're something i will always be serious about. i will always make time for you.”

rensuke kunigami 國神 錬介: the dedicated sweetheart

he doesn't say anything at first, just wraps you up in a big bear hug (he doesn't let you go for the next five minutes)

in typical malewife fashion, he makes you a snack and runs you a bath. while you relax in the tub, he somehow manages to clean the whole house??

afterwards, he makes dinner with you in silence (man's love language is definitely quality time)

when you finally decide to open up to him, he's holding your hand throughout and lets you take your time explaining without interruptions

“thank you for telling me all this, darling, so i can support you like how you. deserve. i know you'll get through it like you always do.”

seishiro nagi 凪 誠士郎: the silent rock

he notices something’s off, but he holds off on saying anything in case he's wrong. as the day goes on he notices you're not your usual self and silently takes a seat beside you

“...you okay?”

you break down crying and all he can think to do is to pull you into his lap and hold you tight. he nods silently as you tell him everything, and though he doesn't say much, whatever advice he does give is surprisingly pretty helpful

he takes you on a snack run after even if it's 4 am! because “nothing is too much of a hassle when it comes to making you happy.”

and that makes you cry even more (happy tears this time <3)

reo mikage 御影 玲王: uh... he's doing his best??

he finds himself temporarily frozen when you walk through the front door with the most sullen expression on your face. at first he thinks it's something he might've done wrong

all it takes for you to break down is a light squeeze of your palm, and now he's utterly clueless on what to do. he awkwardly pats your back

growing up a sheltered only child with a grand total of one true friend, he's never been in a position where he had to comfort someone

“i can pull some strings, get your horrible boss fired… or you could quit your job and stay at home! yeah, we can do that…”

you make fun of him for being bad at comforting people, but it definitely brings your mood up a little

you end the night watching your comfort tv series on the couch with him and all is well!

bllk masterlist || general masterlist

© sirhamburrger 2024

[p0orbaby]

For a Good Time, Call… (4)

summary: as you grapple with your burgeoning feelings for Leah, a door opens to new possibilities and the potential for something more

warnings: SMUT 18+ strap on use (leah receiving), some dirty talk

a/n: last main part my guys. might treat you all to an epilogue

word count: 2.5k

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | epilogue

-

It was early.

The sun had yet to fully rise over the rooftops, and the morning dew still hung heavily to leaves and blades of grass.

Dawn. A time of day you’ve seen more and more of as of late. You have a five foot seven blonde centre back to reluctantly thank for that.

As you blink blearily at the dim light filtering through the curtains, you couldn’t help but marvel at the ungodly hour Leah’s penchant for early mornings has dragged you into. The day was breaking, and there you were, already contemplating the meaning of life and the distinct absence of a warm body beside you.

With a resigned sigh, you acknowledge that Leah’s status as an early riser was, indeed, a force to be reckoned with. Who knew the early bird could be so… early? Catching worms doesn’t even sound that appealing anyway.

But hey, every sunrise brought with it the promise of new beginnings, right? Right! And if those beginnings involve a quest to locate your elusive bed companion, then so be it. Off you go, brave warrior, into the wild (downstairs), yonder!

As you trudge into the kitchen, you’re greeted by the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and a freshly showered Williamson. “Well, look who finally decided to join the land of the living,” she teases, a playful smirk dancing on her lips.

You don’t even have the energy to respond with words, so you grant her a grunt as you shuffle towards the cupboard where the mugs are kept.

Leah chuckles softly, her playful demeanor a stark contrast to your early morning grogginess. “Rough night, huh?” she quips, sidling up behind you and wrapping her arms around your waist.

“Hmm, and I wonder whose fault that is” you respond through a yawn, reaching lazily out to grab your favorite mug from the it’s usual hiding spot. But it’s not there. Confusion flickers across your face as you glance around the kitchen, then over your shoulder at Leah.

“It’s in the dishwasher” she informs between the soft kisses she's placing along the length of your neck.

You groan petulantly at her words. Of course it is. Lucifer is alive and well, it seems.

Leah releases you from her embrace, but her smirk remains as she grabs her own mug and takes a sip of coffee. “So, any plans for today?” she asks, raising an eyebrow in questioning.

You take a moment to ponder, mentally running through the checklist of tasks that await you. “Well, my dear Watson, I probably need to head back home at some point,” you reply, stirring your incorrectly decanted coffee absentmindedly. “I believe I have a pressing appointment with the laundry basket and a certain fern in dire need of hydration”

“Want me to drop you?” She offers. “We can get lunch on the way back”

You grin, feeling her warmth and energy seeping into you, banishing the last remnants of sleepiness. “Hmm, tempting offer,” you muse, turning to face her and gently tracing your fingers along her jawline. “But we’ve got training tomorrow and I could do with some shut eye. Sans distractions”

Leah pouts playfully, her bottom lip jutting out in disappointment. “Oh, come on,” she whines, wrapping her arms around your waist again and pulling you closer. “Who needs sleep when you can have fun with me?”

“As much as I’d love to indulge in your company, baby,” you say, brushing a stray strand of damp hair from her face, “I really do need to catch up on some sleep. Plus, I’m already on thin ice with Jonas”

One late fee away from a game suspension thin. Hence the need to stay at your own house, away from the wandering hands and mouth of one Leah Catherine Williamson

The culprit sighs dramatically, but concedes nonetheless. “Fine,” she offers before leaning in to press a soft kiss against your lips. “But promise you’ll make it up to me?”

You smile, unable to resist her. “Of course,” you reply, returning her kiss with equal fervor. “I’ll make it worth your while, I promise”

-

Love is a funny little thing.

It hides purposely in the shadows when you go looking, and punches you square in the face when you least expect it.

Or confesses its feelings for you in the street and fucks you silly not an hour later.

It’s all semantics really.

“When did you know you loved grandma?”

“Hmm, let’s see. When she railed me with a strap and gave me a three day limp?”

Yeah, no. Not everything needs to be passed down through the generations. That’s what jewellery and hereditary illnesses are for.

“What's that face all about?” You’re dragged abruptly from your thoughts by a voice beside you. “You look like you’re in pain”

“I’m just thinking”

“Oh god, don’t strain yourself”

You roll your eyes, abandoning your act of loosening your boots. “What do you want, Beth?”

She leans back against the wall of her cubby, smirking as she tries and fails to play off like she isn’t about to start bothering you.

“Answers”

“I’ve already told you, I don’t bribe Win. She just likes me more because my personality is far superior”

“You’re a liar” she doubles down.

“Jesus Christ, I have better things to do than lie about a dog, Bethany. Get a life”

“Like what? Like the fact you’re hiding that you’re seeing someone?”

Your blood runs cold.

“Why on earth would you think that?”

“I don’t know” she leans forward in her seat. “Maybe because one doesn’t normally stroll in covered in love bites if they haven’t at least been sucking face”

“Oh”

Do you look panicked? You feel panicked. And embarrassed. Love bites? Jesus Christ Leah, you’ve been walking around all day with those on display.

“Yeah, oh. I thought we were friends, I feel betrayed!”

“I-, I didn’t…,” you stutter, unable to get your words out as she looks at you with wide eyes.

What are you supposed to say? That you were knuckle deep in her vice captain just over 24 hours ago? Absolutely fucking not!

“I told you to keep me posted about Bar Girl!” She exclaims as she leans back against the wall once more, obviously disappointed in your inability to keep up with her requirements for gossip.

All you can do is blink at her, mouth agape at the whiplash she’s just given you. What on earth is happening right now?

“Yeah, right. Urm sorry. Me and Bar Girl are back on” you mutter when you have a second to think.

It’s her lie, not yours, alright! Don’t you dare judge.

“I knew it!” she says, smirking like a cat who's got the cream. “You’ve been acting so weird”

Your head swivels. “Weird? What do you mean, weird?” You didn’t realise you were under surveillance.

“You know, like all smiley and energetic and nice. It’s almost like you’re in love with her or something”

Love.

There’s that word again. The word that’s has been dancing on the periphery of your thoughts for weeks now. You understand it can be hard to find someone who can make you orgasm as much as Leah can, but love? Already?

Subconsciously, you look across the room. Even through the bodies of your teammates filtering in from off the training ground it doesn’t take you long to spot who you’re searching for.

She looks good. Too good for someone who’s been sweating all afternoon. Your eyes drift down to where her top has ridden up from how she’s pulling her hair back. Further still to where she’s rolled her shorts up her thighs. Thighs you frequently find your head trapped between. Then back up, past the swaths of skin on show to find her eyes boring into you.

She holds your gaze and smirks when you start to blush. Heat spreads across your face, down your neck and up to the tips of your ears. You’re not embarrassed she’s caught you, not really. Sure she’ll tease you about it later, but deep down you know she likes you staring as much as you like looking at her.

Beth clears her throat.

“You good?”

“Uh, yeah, I’m good,” you stammer, hoping she doesn’t see through your flustered demeanor. But her knowing look tells you otherwise.

-

You trail wet kisses across her chest as her hips roll against yours. Once, twice, throwing her head back on the third.

Showered, fed, unsatisfied from a night spent at your own house, you’re sat up against the headboard of Leah’s bed pulling sounds from her only you have the privilege of hearing.

Your mouth closes around a pebbled nipple. Sucking then biting then licking to soothe the sting. Her hands fly to the back of your head when you pull away, a string of saliva keeping the two of you connected. So as per a silent request you give her second breast the same treatment. Tugging at it with your teeth. You’ll leave marks, but yours won’t be visible like the ones she so graciously gifted you.

With one final suck you pull your head back to look up at the woman you’re buried inside of, and you almost die at how pretty she is. Her chest is flushed pink and her eyes are blown as they look down on you with a hunger that almost makes you fall apart then and there. You don’t have a chance to though, because she leans in to rub her nose against your own, cupping your face and licking into your mouth.

“You’re so pretty,” you murmur against her when she pulls back to breathe. Your hands running up and down her naked back. “My gorgeous girl”

You lean up to kiss her again. Using your thumb to maneuver her face, nipping at her kiss bitten lips. Red and swollen and as sweet as can be.

When you shift below her, the new angle has her sighing into your mouth, so you place your hands on her hips and encourage her to work through it all herself. And she does, bringing her knees up, crouching as she slides up and down to find the perfect drag against her walls.

Her chest bounces with each movement and you feel your eyes glaze over at the sight of it. She leans back then, keeping herself balanced with her hands on your shins, opening up for you and giving you a show.

“Fuuuck”, she moans as your fingers find her clit. Expertly rubbing tight circles over it, bringing her closer and closer to an edge she is desperate to fall off of.

She’s almost there, you can see it in the way her abs tense and how her hips begin to stutter. So close to tumbling when you pull your hand away from her, wrapping her up in your arms and flipping her over.

She lets out an uncharacteristic squeal at the sudden change in position, and you can’t help but laugh a little.

This is absurd, you think. This is your life. Secretly fucking the England captain silly almost every chance you get. If only the others knew what she was really like when she wasn’t on the grass. No one would believe you. You don’t really want them to, this version of her is solely yours to enjoy.

You sit back on your haunches. Something you like to do when you have her in this position, you have come to learn. You’re very inquisitive. Curious even. You want to know what’s happening. What’s going on when you push in and out of her. What it looks like.

She’s exposed in the best way. Pretty and pink. Ready for whatever you give her. Whatever you're willing to let her take.

You watch eagerly as you push forwards. Mesmerised by how the silicone disappears and reappears with each thrust.

“You’re taking me so well” you tell her. “Are you going to cum for me?”

“Mhm” she hums as she bites down on her bottom lip.

“Yeah? You gonna cum all over my cock?”

Your question is paired with a particularly hard thrust that has her reaching for you with desperate hands. You go, obviously, because you’re finding it increasingly difficult to deny her anything these days.

“I’m close” she manages to say through her laboured intakes of breath. Looking up at you with hooded eyes and a need that makes you feral.

You lean fully forward, bracketing her head between your arms as you claim her mouth and rut into her like it’s the last time you ever would. The bed creaks unforgivingly. She cries out before she bites into the hard muscle of your trap. You hold her when she stills then shakes and leaves crescent shaped nail marks in your skin.

Everything is perfect.

“I love you”

The words fall out of your mouth before you can even stop them. Lust induced word vomit that has you wincing.

“What?” Leah asks from underneath you, but you’re too embarrassed to even speak. “Y/N?”

You freeze, the weight of your confession hanging heavy in the air. You hadn’t meant to say it, not like this. You weren’t even sure if you were ready to.

Panic floods your veins as you scramble for something else to say, but the words stick in your throat. Leah’s confusion is obvious beneath you as she uses a warm hand to push at your chest to get you to look at her, searching your face for answers.

Finally, you manage to croak out, “I…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ but the damage is done. The silence stretches between you, filled only by the sound of your racing heartbeat.

At your words she untangles herself from your embrace, sliding out from beneath you and sitting on the edge of the bed. You watch her, your heart sinking as she puts distance between you. The air feels thick with uncertainty, and you can’t shake the feeling that you’ve ruined everything. Your mind races with self-doubt, the fear of rejection consuming you. You use what dignity you have left to unclip the harness around your waist.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, the words barely audible even in the heavy silence. Leah turns to look at you over her shoulder, her expression hard to read in the soft light of the evening's purple haze.

There’s a pause, a pregnant moment where the world seems to hold its breath. Waiting on your judgment. Preparing for heartbreak and pain the wish to turn back time.

But before you can say anything else, Leah turns fully to face you, her gaze steady. “I think… I think I might feel the same way,” she admits, her voice quiet. Quieter than you’ve ever heard her. But it doesn’t matter, your heart skips a beat, a rush of relief flooding through you in waves.

Without hesitation, you reach across the bed to take her hand. “Really?” you breathe, unable to hide the hope in your voice.

Leah nods, a shy smile playing at the corners of her lips. “Yeah,” she says softly. “I think I do”

[slowlystupendousdelusion]

Lemme vomit up what I remember of the improv night then

-notable mention for DT's 'what on earth have I agreed to' mock fear grimace as he was introduced

Okay so I was kind of expecting 2 or so hours of cloying embarrassment, but turns out he is also good at this? It put me in mind of some of those Radio 4 comedy panel shows which he has done before so idk why I didn't have faith. He didn't really stumble, was funny and generally a good sport.

What I remember:

- little warm up bit before DT joined the stage where the audience do the sound effects for the scene. Audience suggestion for 'location for a date' was (perhaps a bit premature given he wasn't even on stage yet) St James Park. PM & SW decided to interpret this as St James Park of Newcastle United fame

- first bit with them on stage was them telling a story but the person speaking switched as the keyboardist changed who he was pointing at sometimes mid-word. Famous/fictional person selected by the audience was Elon Musk (to DT's evident distaste). Inanimate object chosen was a toilet brush. Story involved Musk using a kitten who has ambitions of becoming a democrat as a toilet brush with mentions of various famous democrats in animal costumes.

- they had a bit with PM & DT where they went through the alphabet and each line started with the next letter. Small object suggested by audience was leprechaun. (It was noted that a leprechaun isn't an object) From this we had Irish accents which I'm not sure I've heard DT do before? Also PM mucked up the alphabet on the second go through which was fun

- a bit where PM had to guess his own occupation as suggested by the audience. (Microsoft font designer who uses bananas from a supermarket called David whilst wearing pink pyjamas). DT brought out another accent for his Bill Gates impression and then thoroughly confused PM by being himself to try and give the name of the supermarket.

- another section with 2 on stage in conversation where every response had to be a question and when they failed they got swapped out. One of them was a priest? Somehow dinosaurs were mentioned? DT did both a Chandler impression and a Joey 'how you doin'?'

- there was a scene (I don't think DT was in this one but was watching from the side) where the audience were asked for a hobby (badminton). I think the keyboardist could tell them to change the response for a better one? Each response somehow got increasingly horny.

- A scene with DT & SW as dentists (suggested by audience) where the genre changed with audience suggestions including: musical (obv we like to start big), tarantino (more American accent!), opera (DT's response: "fuck off!" before going ahead and doing it), David Lynch (more American accent), rock opera finale. AND HE WAS ANNOYINGLY GOOD. What do you mean he can hold some kind of a tune while coming up with lyrics about dentistry that kind of rhyme off the cuff?? Also mad how many innuendos can be applied to dentists. Lots of getting drilled and sucking. I do think we as an audience missed a trick by not shouting out Shakespeare as a genre loud enough though.

-another section where they interviewed a scientist (interested in javelin playing elephants as per audience suggestion) where three of them were doing the responses but one word at a time. DT got a little muddled at one point but endearingly so.

- A bit with DT returning a toaster to the shop (SW), but an audience member had to move them into position. This led to an accordion toaster as the sizes kept changing. Kudos to Nan cause if they had pulled me up on stage to do that I think I would have died on the spot. And I probably would have inadvertently put them into a far awkwarder position than just her kneeling in front of him. Also v brave of him to be up for a random audience member touching him tbh.

- I can't remember the context of this but DT called someone a cunt and this caught SW so offguard that she couldn't stop laughing

-there was a hospital scene similar to the dentist one, but instead of genres changing it was the emotions (including ecstasy, menopausal and melancholy.) DT wasn't involved in this one.

- a scene where each of them was doing the speaking for someone else. I'm not sure I've explained that right but basically when PM was speaking it was SW lipsyncing and when SW was speaking it was DT lipsyncing etc etc. Based on a person being shot at a station waiting for a delayed train to Edinburgh. DT got confused multiple times during this.

- DT & PM were neighbours discussing a fence dispute where some of the lines where picked from a bucket of audience suggestions written in the interval. Ended with "you can't leave this bookshop" but was spoken by PM so didn't really get to see much of a DT reaction to it.

I've definitely forgotten a bunch here so feel free to add stuff!

- 500 miles at the end (which I think went on longer than they were expecting)

[zykamiliah]

s01e05 "Lancelot" /// s04e02 "The Darkest Hour (Part 2)"

fam can we talk about this callback. can we talk about the fact that the chances of lancelot remembering that moment yeaaaars ago are 200% actually. and that's why he's chuckling and wiggling his eyebrows at merlin. can we talk about lancelot remembering something from like 4+ years ago. can we talk about how in s01e05 merlin was like "i can't do this damn spell im gonna fail arthur's gonna die" but the moment he learns lancelot is on his way to fight the griffin, merlin is like- wooosh. lancelot im here we're doing this together. guys can we talk about how lancelot makes merlin more daring and brave. can we talk about how merlin's actions inspire lancelot. guys guys can we talk about mercelot---

[leviismybby]

Thinking about how Levi would become 100x hotter after he has a child with you. Be it postwar!Levi or season 4 Levi...after you give him his firstborn, he becomes even more manly. His aura just drives you in, his muscled arms, sharp jawline, the way he always looks after your child and how he cares for them, everything makes him so attractive.

The sex is a lot more intense too, Levi has you literally screaming as he pounds his cock into you, bed shaking from his intense thrusts. His abs flex, head thrown back as sweat drips down his neck and chest. "Maybe I should cum in this tight pussy of yours hmm? Want me to make you a mommy again?" He is a lot more brave about what how he wants you in bed and what he wants to do to you. And oh my, let's not start on when he gets the chance to eat you out because your legs are jelly afterward, he can eat your pussy for hours and makes sure to make it as pleasurable for you as he can...

[lucy---lou]

Part 4 Lucys-hdg-story

Continuing my last blog.

"No we haven't cuddled yet, let's watch a movie"

"I really don't like movies or anything like that but we could play a cardgame", I say blushing again. Why would she cuddle with me? I've known her for 2 hours top.

"Oww ok, let's play this old terran game uno, but FLORET Editon", she first pouts then beams at me.

Floret Edition oh no, either two possibilities in that. First the good one. Nobody can lose and the reward is cuddels. I'm sort of ok with that. The other option is we're getting drugged. Stars NO.

"what makes it the floret Edition?", I ask already shaking.

"I'll tell you in the Livingroom, you're going to like it", Ellie says with a smirk.

I move to jump of the high bench as I normally would and before I really leave the surface,"iiieeep", I'm caught in a lot of vines.

"Little one I won't let you possibly hurt yourself, now behave", miss Duralis says with a stern but playful voice. Her eyes flashing bright colours at me, locking me in for a few seconds.

"Y-Yes Miss Duralis"

She picks up Ellie as well and we are both deposited on a huge couch.

"Mistress can you please get the playing cards while I explain the game?", Ellie asks looking absolutely adorable.

"Sure thing my petal"

"So you have to get rid of the cards on your hand. We play in turns. You can lay a card of the same colour or the same number as the previous one, if you can't you have to draw one from the stack. -thank you Mistress- There are special cards like this one. You can always lay it in your turn and you can choose the colour. And this is the best card if I lay it you have to draw 4 cards but you can also stack them and if I have one aswell it you would have draw the cards unless you had another one. And for being so brave in drawing a card you'll get petted by Miss Duralis for every card you have to draw"

Ah thats the catch in floret edition.

"Did you get everything?"

"Yes I think so, but I don't want to be petted", trying to save myself.

"Don't be silly Lucy everyone loves being petted"

"First round no pets for Lucy, ok?", Miss Duralis says but with a smirk?

Halfway through the first round everything is alright. Ellie gets a few pets, I refuse everytime. I stare a little at them, then Miss Duralis winks at me.

"Jealous?"

I blush and look away. I feel a prick, my body flinshes. But I think nothing of it.

"Everything alright Lucy?", Miss Duralis asks me looking a bit sad.

"Yeah everything good. Just caught my skin in the zipper. Let's continue"

Everyone nods

Since when do my clothes feel so good?

"Lucy your turn", Duralis giggles.

"Oh sorry"

Wow this cough is really comfy I could live on here. I wiggle around baking in this sensation.

"Ellie to Kitten it's your turn again"

"ooops", I blush. Why can't I keep track?

I can here this really nice rhythm. I could listen to it for ever and close my eyes.

"Lucy you have to draw eight cards"

"Hmm ok", I slowly look up again giving Duralis the puppy eye look.

I see something approaching me not really processing anything, something touches my head.

"mmmmhhrrrpf", a quiet moan. I feel my cheeks burning.

"mmmmmmrreeeeeeowwwww", a not so quiet moan and I fall forward onto the playing cards between us. Whatever was touching me, isn't anymore.

"Nnnyyyyo", trying to grab where I think the thing touching me was.

"Oh you need more, sure thing kitten. You'll get as much as you want", Miss Duralis says with a smile. I can't see it but I can feel it.

"Wow Class-As really did a thing on her and I can tell why you say she's a kitten. Mistress, do you think she will mind if I cuddle with her"

"No I don't think so, she likes you alot even if she doesn't admit it."

I feel somebody brush along my body and hug me. I don't care and drift into blissful sleep.

[twig-tea]

East Palace, West Palace in ep5 of Blue Canvas of Youthful Days

I have been punched in the solar plexus by Blue Canvas of Youthful Days episode 5. So much happens in that episode that is overwhelming, from Qi Lu setting up a Netflix-and-chill date with the clear intention of making a move, to his putting on the famous film East Palace, West Palace (1996), to Qi Lu hiding Qin Xiao in the closet, to Qi Lu's panic at his father realizing he's been lied to, to the devastatingly practiced way Teacher Liu steps to Qi Lu being abused and handles his father, to the way Qi Lu shuts down, to the way QIn Xiao keeps sending mixed signals and Qi Lu calls him on it directly. And nobody else in this episode let me rest either; Tan Fan trying to ask Teacher Liu to wait for him and Liu brushing him off AGAIN, and Turtle trying to call out

@lurkingshan was already more coherent than I can be right now about what happened in the episode in her post.

So instead I want to focus on some queer cinema history that this episode evoked by using East Palace, West Palace as the film that Qi Lu shows to QIn Xiao.

For those who don't know, EPWP is considered to be the first realistic depiction of a gay man in film by a mainland Chinese production. It is to my knowledge the first time a gay man says "I love you" to another man on screen. It was made before being gay was decriminalized in China (1997), and it was filmed by an independent production company and smuggled out of China to France in order to be finished and distributed. It ended up at the Cannes festival in 1997, but the director's passport was seized and he was placed under house arrest to prevent him from attending. Despite pressure to pull the film, it still aired that year. In 1998, the Film Law was passed to prevent anyone from making films outside of the studio system (and therefore censorship review), effectively preventing anything like EPWP from being made in the future.

The film is about a gay man who cruises in the notorious bathrooms in the parks on either side of Tiananmen Square getting harassed by police officers (a situation extremely familiar to the historical queer experience in Canada [where I'm from] as well) and playing what I'd describe as a psychological game with one of them; A Lan kisses the cop, runs, and then gets caught a second time, and uses the second police confession as an excuse to tell his life's story in the public record, all while pushing the police officer a little further into deviance. As far as I'm aware, this film has been banned in China since being made and never shown (please correct me if I'm wrong about that!).

This is hitting me hard because of the much more recent history of Blue Canvas of Youthful Days itself. As most of you know, but I'll capture here for posterity, episodes 1-4 of this show aired on iQIYI (a China-based app) on August 6, and within 24 hours they were pulled from the app with no information about the future episodes being shown. When I watched episode 5 today, after waiting for it for 3 months, I was immediately hit with a wave of anger that this gorgeous, emotionally moving and powerful episode had been held back from public consumption for months, for the same reasons that the film being shown within the episode had been withheld from viewing in its own country.

Censorship is such an ugly thing, it's hard to articulate but the emotions around it are so strong because we know, when they pull or refuse to show media that depicts our lives, it's because they don't want our lives to be real; they don't want us to exist. It's a very real threat. And to have this episode--which is all about an abused boy who is in very real danger but so bravely insisting that he shoot his shot and take his best chance at love and happiness anyway, using the iconic confession scene from one of the most famous banned films in Chinese queer cinema history to do it--to have this episode be the one that was prevented from airing......I am overwhelmed.

In the scenes they watch in episode 5, A Lan tries to prevent the officer from uncuffing him, and then the officer lets him go, but A Lan doesn't go far and comes back. He declares his love to the officer's face, and demands that his love be acknowledged and not dismissed. And the officer does not know what to do with it and reacts with violence, which is partially what A Lan has been angling at all along. The show really played with this by having all three of the couples in the show stymied by having their overtures dismissed this episode, but we almost didn't get to see it.

I'm so grateful this got distribution now, and on multiple platforms. Blue Canvas of Youthful Days is airing Saturdays and Sundays on GagaOOLala and Youtube (note, as per @thisonelikesaliens's excellent language posts, the subs on Gaga are much better), and on Mondays on Viki. I know there is an avalanche of content right now, but this show is so good and worked so hard to make it to us, please give it some love!