#315 spoilers

[star-trek-fandom-confessions]

#315

"I'm not normally a supporter of retcon but I really wish SNW would retcon the treatment of Pike. Instead his disability is still being treated like he's going to die in a few years. And maybe update the chair because we have way better tech than that chair now let alone in another 200 years. Pike's ending has always sat wrong with me because to change the concept of a place from a Cage to a Menagerie simply because Pike's disabled now is insane. It's still a cage and he still can't leave but he can walk again so I guess that's not important anymore."

[jaredwalkersam]

Walker 3.15 || false flag part 2 || cordi and geri

[redninjaaaaa]

315 > 471-472

they’ve come so far…

all they needed is just a common enemy 🥲

[ayasenisan1713]

*Amon being himself*

*Lumian imagining Amon’s motives*

Lumian: It can’t be just to scare me!

Me: Not, I think this is actually the most probable possibility…

[sebdoesthings]

Arnaud and his beautiful three-quarter(-ish) profile <3

[khattikeri]

me reading bnha 390 leaks just bc i know vaguely what's going on at the moment and seeing the chapter literally being called "Todoroki Shouto: Rising" is single handedly making me contemplate catching up to the manga instead of waiting for it to finish and then binging from where i left off

[nishas-paradise]

[moineauz]

જ⁀ 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓 ( cause you've never missed )

synopsis: boothill never misses his targets, however, sometimes, he wishes he did.

side comments: I had to get this out of my drafts... forgive me.

extra: gn reader, angst, violence with a gun, IPC hunting reader, subtle boothill spoilers word count: 315

"Cause lovin' ain't easy cutie. You either get it or-"

"You don't, yes Boothill, I understand."

Boothill pauses, his eyes gazing at yours. The classic smirk on his face rusting and falling. "Then why are you asking me to do this? I'd hunt down the person-"

"There is no person to hunt Boothill, you know that" you mutter softly, gingerly cupping his cool face in the palms of your hand. "There never was another person," you mutter gravely, "I won't let the IPC have me."

Boothill sighs, his eyes flickering from your darling face to the dust stains of your leather boots.

"I can't do that cutie."

You share a rueful smile before replying woefully, "I wouldn't let anyone but you do it."

You then plant three tender kisses: the first on his hands, the second on his cheek, and the third on his gun.

The reflection of the moon wavers for a split second while the stars flicker above. Sleep follows the creatures who slumber and not a sound is made under the spell of such a tranquil night.

From there, Boothill observes the tender movements of your body: how its warmth slipped away, how you turned your back against him and let your arms loose by your side.

You were ready, you told him. Your heart is conditioned and your mind is set at rest: far from the empty desert to which your foot trod on, far from the toils of the universe, of the IPC.

Tenderly does Boothill raise the gun, his arms stretched out as he has hundreds of times before, his head tilted slightly. Boothill's finger quivers, yet you remain still: an image etched into the metal plating of his being, formed from consolation and words of solace that were ultimately derived from you.

"You won't miss, I promise."

A bang echoes through the desert, and the spell is broken.

"Sometimes, I wish I did-"

"Cutie."

masterlist.

[mitsvriii]

Criminal

Lyney x reader

MAJOR spoilers for the Fontaine Archon Quest under the cut, angst no comfort, part 2 can be written if enough people request for it

315 words

Any reader type

Part 2

And I’m back from hiatus even though I never said I was on one. First off I would like to thank everyone for still following me despite it, and for the support. Shoutout to @itsofficialyeurionna for the inbox notes. They make me smile and I’m working on your request :). I came back with angst LMAO, and I know none of you deserve it. Thank you all again for the support.

“When were you gonna tell me?”

The answer hangs high in the thick silence among the two of you. Lyney was quiet as his sister as he started, downcast. You cleared your throat in a somewhat emphasis to get him to speak.

“Someday.” His bland response caused a loud scoff to escape you, he peeked up at your face but quickly put it back down at your stern expression.

At this point he’d rather of been found guilty rather than you, or anyone, have found out about him and his sister’s fatui relations.

You two were good. And frankly he was glad that your rocky relationship had blossomed into something steady. But then the trail happened after Cowell’s death and it was all downhill from there.

Hell, you didn’t even give him a chance to explain himself, although he didn’t blame you. I mean, the fatui basically stripped your family’s wealth away because of one loan.

“Someday”, Lyney spoke shakily, swallowing hard, “I was going to tell you I just-“

“You just what? Decided to keep something like that from me? And don’t bullshit we both know you’d never rip off that bandage.”

The ever-so confident magician stood weak at your words, nervously fiddling with his fingers. He could only stand there like a bullied child that had gotten his toy token from him.

“You know what”, you sighed as you held up your hands, “Forget it. Just forget it. If you’re not going to explain yourself then don’t. If you want to actually apologize then come see me when you get out of jail.”

Archons you didn’t even believe he was innocent in a murder. That was a sharp stab to the chest. He could only watch you walk away with slightly teary eyes. He however, covered them up with one of his acts.

After all, magicians never reveal their true selves on stage.

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Bonus- Chapter 29

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

Thank fuck it's saturday and I have nothing to do because it has been a busy time!

Today I have a sad protein shake (because I bought an entire container of it and I WILL use it all even though it is deeply unpleasant). I've got cute little pumpkins though?

Alright- let's get into this absolute disaster of a chapter LOL.

Pre chapter reading thoughts based on the title: I have been WAITING the entire book for this moment. I can't wait to start this omg.

I'm SCREAMING. I thought this was going to be the actual story/song but instead it's just them reading porn about themselves. ahahah pp305-306

Good for SQQ for being pissed on Binghe's behalf! The author of that story wrote smut about an underage kid with an adult yeah that is very fucked. p306

"flirtation in the water prison" I'm wheezing at this chapter title. p308

Jesus. If anyone thought there was even a bit of truth to this story... I can see why people were shaken when they found out the two were actually together. (the cultivators/gentry being upset- not so much the common people). p309

Also. the fact that SQQ is not upset at the graphic scene where consent is very dubious (if there is any at all) but rather he's upset at the fact that the crying is unrealistic LOL it would NEVER be him but LBH who would be sobbing during sex. p309

omg. and the necrophilia. p311 This is everything I feared the actual story would be.

not related to chis chapter but a reflection on other chapters LOL Tianlang-jun fucking LOVED this story and now that I know what is in it- WHAT THE FUCK LOL. He was just over there straight up reading the most unholy porn about his kid being like "aww that's nice"

Dang this story is really just about these two exploring every kink and taboo sex act while SQQ get's repeatedly railed. p314

omg I can't. This is not "instructional material" pls omg. Someone in this time must have made actual manuals/educational material this baby can study. this isn't it. pp314-315

oh god. Not Bingqiu pt 2; electric boogaloo. Where the second book is worse than the first. p315

If I had an eject button, I would hit it right now. Fact about me- one of my undergrad majors was in sexuality and I-; 1. pls let that not be actual wine because this man is about to see god with how drunk he will be. 2. GLSS!! especially GLASS NOT BUILT TO BE IN A BODY. 3. ALWAYS USE A FLARED BASE. I AM SO SCARED RN. pp216-317

SQQ and I have the same question "You..what exactly did you read?" p322

What the fuck

That was more of an experience I wanted for 9am on a Saturday.

[jaredwalkersam]

walker 3.15 || false flag part 2 || cordi and coop

requested by @sammyhale

[pokepollsters]

Best Pokémon Protagonist Tournament- Stats Breakdown!

After many weeks of voting, we concluded that Tumblr's favourite Protagonist is Akari- but we still have a lot of other data to sift through that we can learn from! Read more to find out about the most and least popular matches, the averages, and maybe most importantly- who won the biggest sweep?

As usual, let's start with the total number of votes across the whole tournament. This time it was 15,433 votes over 25 matches for an average 617 votes per match- slightly lower than our last tournament (20,353 total and 727 average) but still the second most popular tournament we've run. If you include the preliminaries, however, the total number of votes increases to 21,204 over 35 matches and 1 tiebreaker- an average of 589.

Next up, a look at the average votes a contestant brought in- who was a bigger draw than the others? Who inspired the most enthusiastic voting? When we rank them, this is how it stacks up:

Hilda- 494 (2,472 votes across 5 matches)

Akari- 461 (2,304 votes across 5 matches)

Dawn- 374 (1,868 votes across 5 matches)

Serena- 330 (989 votes across 3 matches)

May- 328 (1,641 votes across 5 matches)

Rosa- 319 (958 votes across 3 matches)

Hilbert- 315 (631 votes across 2 matches)

Red- 314 (629 votes across 2 matches)

Gloria- 310 (930 votes across 3 matches)

Lyra- 308 (617 votes across 2 matches)

Kris- 278 (278 votes in 1 match)

Leaf- 248 (248 votes in 1 match)

Ethan- 234 (234 votes in 1 match)

Selene- 223 (223 votes in 1 match)

Lucas- 209 (209 votes in 1 match)

Rei- 189 (189 votes in 1 match)

Juliana- 155 (155 votes in 1 match)

Elio- 139 (139 votes in 1 match)

Nate- 125 (125 votes in 1 match)

Brendan- 112 (112 votes in 1 match)

Chase- 109 (109 votes in 1 match)

Calem & Elaine- 103 (103 votes in 1 match each)

Victor- 88 (88 votes in 1 match)

Florian- 80 (80 votes in 1 match)

Through this ranking, we can get a general idea of the top ten (according to our voters anyway), and yes, as we all observed in the tournament, the girls are far more popular! 80% of the top 10 are ladies, and only 2 men are in the top half at all- 3 if you include Ethan sitting in exactly the middle.

Of specific note, the top 3 are indeed our medal winners, though Hilda and Akari are swapped in position- and we're about to see that same phenomenom in the next list. And poor Florian sits at the bottom, only 80 votes to his name, proving beyond a doubt that the girls are more popular when his counterpart who wears the exact same outfit sits several places higher in 17th.

Okay! On to average vote share. When comparing our contestants, who- on average anyway- took home the biggest proportion of the votes within their matches? And yes, I've already given you a little spoiler about our top two.

Hilda- 68.7%

Akari- 67.7%

Gloria- 64%

Dawn- 60.1%

May- 56.8%

Rosa- 56.4%

Hilbert- 54.3%

Lyra- 53.4%

Serena- 52.5%

Red- 44.7%

Leaf- 42.9%

Kris- 42.4%

Lucas- 40.9%

Rei- 38.7%

Ethan- 35.3%

Selene- 35.2%

Elio- 29.4%

Nate- 21%

Chase- 19.7%

Brendan- 19%

Elaine- 17.9%

Victor- 17.8%

Calem- 17.2%

Florian- 16.5%

Juliana- 16.1%

With a few notable differences, this list is largely similar to the last- in fact our top 10 are identical, albeit with the rankings shifted around a bit. Dawn loses her 3rd place spot to Gloria, and Red is barely hanging on to the 10th spot, but he's still there!

As I mentioned before, Hilda tops this list, not Akari- it seems increasingly clear that with how popular she is, only Akari could've beaten her for that gold medal! Down at the other end though, Florian manages not to be last, this time only losing to his female counterpart- perhaps the girls aren't always popular after all? But it's hard to argue against the same proportion of boys in the top half as before- only 2 (with that coveted middle spot now going to Lucas instead of Ethan).

Now time for my one and only graph! I think it's nice to have some data in a visual form, but I try and keep the important stuff in text form so it's easy to read and more accurate. But here's our lovely pie chart of what proportion of the total tournament votes each contestant got.

Last but by no means least, it's time for individual match stats.

The most voted on match was Round 1: Match 8, Juliana vs Hilda, with 964 votes- just shy of 1,000. Closely following behind it was the finals, with 939 votes. On the other end, the least voted on poll (outside of the preliminaries, which had on average lower votes anyway) was Round 3: Match 3, May vs Gloria, with 483 votes. With only 3 votes more at 486, was Round 2: Match 7, Florian vs Hilda.

Individually, the person to gain the most votes in a single poll was Hilda, once again in that Round 1 match where she got 809 votes! Poor Florian in his Round 2 match got only 80 votes, however- the least in a single match.

The last thing we always look at is margins. For the closest match this competition, we look to Round 2: Match 3, Red vs Lyra. While it shares the exact same 4.6% margin as the final match did, the vote margin was smaller, with only 30 votes separating them (compared to 43 in the finals).

And now- the biggest sweep. Here we specifically look at margins, not votes, but in this case it's one and the same. The match we keep mentioning- Round 1: Match 8- ended in a huge 67.8% margin, or 654 votes. Hilda may not have won the gold in the tournament porper, but she absolutely swept the competition in these stats, and earns herself a spot in the biggest sweep hall of fame.

After all that, we're finally finished. Thank you so much for sticking around through this competition, and I can't wait to see you back here again soon for the next one! Currently a poll is up to decide what that tournament will be, so don't forget to vote and share it, and we'll be back with more polls very soon!

[twinsunstars]

Thoughts on The Bad Batch Episode 15 - The Cavalry Has Arrived - A Discussion Post (PART 2)

LINK TO PART 1 OF DISCUSSION

(SPOILERS AHEAD IF YOU HAVE NOT SEE THE FINALE YET! all screencaps from www.cap-that.com! https://www.cap-that.com/starwars/the-bad-batch/315/)

Nala Se heads to the central lab, attempting to destroy her work to prevent the Empire from getting their hands on it. Little does she know, Rampart had picked up a blaster and aimed it at her head. He takes a look at the data, wanting to know everything about Project Necromancer.

Little does he know, Nala Se held a bomb, pressing the button to get it warmed up.

Echo and the clones reach the "training room", attacking the troopers inside. A heated battle ensues while Omega heads up to try and free Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair. She gets spotted by one of the CX troopers, getting caught just as Hemlock and Scorch return. Hemlock releases the poisonous gas he had used on Crosshair last season on the clones, causing them to faint.

Rampart is fascinated by the data about Project Necromancer and downloads it onto the datapad to take to the Emperor to regain his status. Nala Se is shot by Rampart, as the bomb lands near Rampart's feet and goes off, the lab getting blown to bit. Nala Se finally met her end, and so did Rampart.

Like many theories, I was expecting Rampart to potentially do a Kallus and become a Rebel, but guess it was never meant to be lol.

The Batch wake up, attacking the troopers. Hemlock uses binders to keep Omega with him, taking CX-2's ship controls from his arm and his blaster, heading off. I screamed when CX-2 was killed by Hunter in fear that it was Tech because of my delusional self, but turns out it's not. Hunter and Crosshair go off to find Omega.

Hemlock (with Scorch) takes Omega outside to escape, right when it starts pouring rain. CX-2's ship comes over after Hemlock turned it on, but its engines get shot as Crosshair and Hunter make their way onto the runway. Hemlock holds Omega close to him and stands near the railing, holding a blaster at her head to threaten them. Omega isn't afraid; she knows Hemlock won't kill her, and she trusts her brothers.

Hunter tells Crosshair to shoot the binders once the time is right, and Crosshair is scared to accidentally hit Omega. Omega gets the thin sharp tool she used a lot earlier secretly out of her sleeve, ready to make her move. Hunter and Crosshair wait for her, as Omega stabs Hemlock hard in his leg, causing him to break away from his grasp on Omega. Crosshair manages to shoot the binders to free Omega, and Hemlock gets shot a total of six times before falling off the railing, meeting his end.

They had did it. They won. Omega smiles at her brothers, relaxed. She sees Crosshair's missing hands, tears welling up in her eyes. She draws Crosshair in for a hug, as the three share a warm hug in the rain. The three head back, ready to go live freely.

Just as everyone had left, the Empire arrived. Tarkin lands on Mount Tantiss as the troopers examine the mess. Tarkin receives word that Hemlock and several troopers died in the attack, and no data from his project is left. Tarkin couldn't care less; he immediately shuts down Mount Tantiss and moves all of Hemlock's money for Project Necromancer to Project Stardust, funding the Death Star.

Back safely on Pabu, the clones relax, getting to eat many Pabu delicacies. The kids play around with Mox, Stak, and Deke, getting treats and Eva chases the moonyos. Echo and Emerie watch, and I love how pretty Emerie looks as always, especially without her glasses. I'm guessing she can always see without them, they were just glasses that allowed her to see specific things in them like a built-in screen. Emerie is happy the kids are enjoying themselves, and Echo gets ready to head to Pantora to help the other clones. He suggests that Emerie could come and help, and Emerie is willing to do anything to atone for her mistakes.

Hunter and Omega sit with Batcher under the tree, happy that everyone is safe. Omega worries for the kids and the clones, but Hunter tells her that everything will be okay and the kids will be returned safely eventually, and the clones can do whatever they want now. He tells her that they can be whatever they want, and Omega relaxes, falling asleep on Hunter's arm. Crosshair and Wrecker join, their journey of fighting finally over.

Years pass, and an adult Omega heads into the caves of Pabu, reaching her ship. Someone said older Omega looks like Tech, and now I'm crying. An older Hunter sits nearby with Batcher, and Omega smiles, knowing he would be here. Omega wants to join the Rebellion in their growing fight, and Hunter is afraid of letting her go, just wanting to keep her safe. Omega knows, and she's ready to go off on her own. The two share a close hug, and Hunter sends her off.

Omega is ready to set off on her own adventures after living safely on Pabu. She takes Gonky, Lula, and Tech's goggles with her, so that he can always be with her. She salutes to Hunter, flying off into space. Batcher whines, already missing her. Hunter knows she will be okay; she's their strong girl.

I know I've said this so many times in other posts, and I've never been a parent, but Omega is really like the daughter I watched grow up. She was so young and naive in the first season, and now she's grown up and ready to fight on her own. I get teary-eyed every time I look at how big she is now and when she leaves. I hope we can see more of rebel Omega.

I cried numerous times after I saw the finale that day, unable to stop myself from remembering the happy ending we got and my little Omega all grown up, and the fact that my favorite comfort show is really over now. I'm not going to lie, I was writing this and my eyes started balling out tears again, the piano notes in the credits playing in my head. I miss them so much. I really hope we can see Omega and the Batch again in future Star Wars media. For now, the Bad Batch has given us so many treasured memories, and it was really one hell of a ride.

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders #315: Habetrot

today on Grailfinders, we’re finally getting the hell out of lostbelt six! we’ve just got one more faerie to go and we’re free until summer finally kills us. all we need to do is Habetrot, so let’s take a look at her kit, probably just another sewing servant….

huh.

wow, I just spoiled so much of this lostbelt for myself! everything past this point is going under a cut.

so! Habetrot! she’s going to be an Ancients Paladin to literally be an ancient paladin (as well as to sew some sick wedding dresses), and she’s also a Witherbloom Warlock because literally no one in this lostbelt can keep their hands off weapons that will kill them. realistically she should be a hexblade, but a) we literally just did a hexadin, and b) the black barrel strikes me less as a sentient weapon and more as just. a giant ball of radioactivity.

so with that out of the way, let’s get building!

(as usual, a character sheet can be found here, and next up: sword baby)

Ancestry and Background

Habetrot is obviously a Fairy, unless you spell it correctly, then she’s a Faerie. who has Fairy Magic including Faerie Fire at third level. make it make sense. that makes the creatures in an area glowy if they fail a save, giving everyone else advantage to hit them, it’s a big boost to your crit star generation. off the bat though you have access to the Druidcraft cantrip, which is a more themed prestidigitation, just a billion tiny effects rolled into a single spell. and at level five you can Enlarge/Reduce creatures, and if you grow larger you can hit harder than usual, because a person-sized baby hits harder than a person-sized person. you can also shrink, but then you deal less damage with melee attacks. your faerie fire and enlarge/reduce share a single free cast per day, but you can also cast them (using your Charisma) with your existing spell slots. you can also fly, which makes your dirigible kind of pointless but we’ll get it anyway.

oh right, almost forgot. as a faerie you have free reign over your ability increases, but I picked +2 Dexterity and +1 Charisma here.

while I could use Habetrot’s waybackground, I’ll keep things kind of recent and call her a Guild Artisan. that gives her proficiency in Insight and Persuasion, and also means she has to pay regular dues to her guild boss. Boggart runs a tight ship, better not be late.

Ability Scores

Boggart hasn’t eaten you yet for some reason, so I bet your Charisma is super high. that and your Dexterity. balancing on a giant balloon is hard, and you’re also a crack shot with a gun. we have to make your Strength the third highest for multiclassing, but if you can convince your DM to ignore this you should dump it instead. she is literally a baby. physically, anyway. that being said your Constitution is still above average, babies can bounce back from just about anything. that means your Wisdom and Intelligence are low, having trouble learning things was your defining trait for quite a while.

Class Levels

1. Paladin 1: I promise this will make sense in the long run, just go with me here. starting off you’re good at Wisdom and Charisma saves, because magic doesn’t work on faeries that well. you’re also good at Medicine, it’s kind of like how Carpenters also used to be Surgeons, and you’ve got Religion down pat. the closest thing to a god in this land is rotting in a pit. there, that’s religion. you still know more than most people, tbh.

you can use Divine Sense to detect a couple types of creatures around you, but uh, spoiler alert! they’re faeries. they’re all faeries, you’re surrounded by faeries for thousands of years.

you can also Lay on Hands as an action, mending someone’s dress to give them some HP. you have a pool of five times your level each day to use, and spending five HP can heal someone from a poison or disease. when you say debuff immunity, you mean it.

2. Paladin 2: second level paladins can pick a Fighting Style, and you’re not really into fighting that much, so I guess you’re a Blessed Warrior. with this you can pick up two cleric cantrips of your choice and can even swap them out on level-ups, though for my money there’s only two we need. grab Thaumaturgy for the second of the three “do what you want” cantrips, and Mending, because making a character whose entire thing is sewing without the ability to mend would be a crime.

while we’re talking about Spells, you can cast those now. you get some spell slots, and your Charisma powers them. I’d grab Cure Wounds for your first skill, and Ceremony so you can finally find a use for all these stupid dresses you keep making since nobody actually gets married in britain. if they refuse to marry, you will make them marry. and get a +2 bonus to their AC for a week to boot!

you can also add a Divine Smite to a melee attack by spending a spell slot, but you don’t really use melee weapons. the only smite that doesn’t care what weapon you use is Branding Smite, and we won’t get that until fifth level. stay strong, habbe.

3. Paladin 3: but enough doom and gloom, let’s talk subclasses! as an Oath of Ancients paladin, you have an extended spell list, which now includes Ensnaring Strike to tie up an enemy with sewing supplies, or Speak with Animals to speak with animals. fey animals seem to be able to talk anyway, but still.

you can also Channel Divinity once a short rest in one of two flavors. you can spend an action to incur Nature’s Wrath on a foe, forcing a strength or dexterity save or they become restrained by vines I mean thread. you can also Turn the Faithless as an action, forcing every fey/fiend in thirty feet of you to make a… Wisdom save, or they become turned for a minute and have to run away from you.

you are a fey. huh.

this is the closest I could get to the downside of Habetrot’s third skill, WotC still isn’t big on players hurting themselves, even if they can’t get enough of shooting themselves in the foot.

4. Paladin 4: use your first Ability Score Improvement to bump up your Dexterity. if you have to pick up a weapon, you might as well be decent at it.

5. Paladin 5: fifth level paladins get an Extra Attack each attack action, as well as second level spells! as mentioned, Branding Smite is the only smite you get that is okay with ranged weapons, and it adds an effect to the enemy for up to a minute if it hits, preventing them from going invisible- kind of like faerie fire, in a way!

in a similar vein, your oath spell Moonbeam deals extra damage to shapechangers, and Misty Step is just a good utility spell to have. if you’re in a bad situation, stop being there.

you can also buff up your friends’ dresses with Aid to give them extra HP for the day, or you can Find Steed to get a balloon to ride on. it can’t fly yet, so I guess we’re still trying to find some helium.

6. Paladin 6: sixth level paladins exude an Aura of Protection, adding your charisma modifier to all saves you or nearby friends make, no limitations (aside from you being conscious). when you said debuff immunity, you meant it.

7. Paladin 7: seventh level ancient paladins finally get something that is 100% unequivocally useful- the Aura of Warding. you and all your nearby friends have resistance to spell magic. there’s a reason nobody in britain uses magecraft.

8. Paladin 8: I think we’re late enough in the build to break out the serious spoilers now. use this ASI to pick up the Squire of Solamnia feat and become one of Aesc/Tonelico’s most trusted knights. now you can mount or dismount for only five feet of movement, and you can make a Precise Strike when you attack with any kind of weapon, giving yourself advantage plus an extra d8 of damage. you can do this proficiency times per day, once per turn, though you only burn through uses if the attack actually hits.

9. Paladin 9: ninth level paladins don’t get much, but they do get third level spells! your freebies are Plant Growth and Protection from Energy, but I’d say your best fit atm is Crusader’s Mantle. it might not be crit stars, but it will make everyone’s weapons a lot shinier as they do radiant damage. this also works on ranged weapons, yay!

10. Paladin 10: if that’s not enough auras, here’s one more! with the Aura of Courage, you and nearby allies never have to worry about being frightened! I know, Morgan’s scary, but it won’t help any if her allies get frightened too!

11. Warlock 1: we’ve covered Morgan’s fall from… errr, “grace” doesn’t quite sound right, plus she actually became queen, so it’s more of a rise… whatever. she’s queen now, you’re hanging out with boggart when this pretty young thing walks in with a god-killing weapon on her back. it’d be best if you take that off her hands, right?

obviously the “best” fit for this would be making it a Hexbladepatron, but we just did that and it’s not sentient, so we’ll make do with Witherbloom. starting at level one you learn some Pact Magic, a separate set of spell slots you can cast using your Charisma. there’s not a lot of them, but they recharge on short rests!

right now you can cast Eldritch Blast for a quick burst fire, Prestidigitation to fulfill our “do anything” cantrip trio, and you can either Hex an enemy to further empower the black barrel against them or craft an Armor of Agathys to make a protective gown out of ice for a lucky maiden. oh this spell’s actually just for you. you look nice in it though, and we’ll get something else later.

you also get an extended spell list of Witherbloom Spells, including Spare the Dying and Cure Wounds for more dress patching. you also get Inflict Wounds, which both feels out of character and also is a melee attack.

of course the real reason we’re going to college is for Witherbloom’s Essence Tap. as a bonus action up to proficiency times per day, you can empower yourself in one of two ways for up to a minute. Overgrowth is nice, letting you spend your bonus actions healing yourself by spending hit dice, but we’re here to make a black barrel, and for that we need to make Withering Strikes. when you deal any kind of damage, you can turn it into necrotic damage while ignoring the typical resistances.

12. Warlock 2: at second level you get two Eldritch Invocations to help make your warlock levels tailor-made to your needs. we’re saving one for next level as usual, but pick up Armor of Shadows now for free mage armor… also on yourself though. darn. the warlock spell list is a little greedy, huh? Charm Person is nice though. that one’s barely magic, you’re just personable.

13. Warlock 3: at level three we’re taking the Pact of the Blade to make an Improved Pact Weapon. I would love to give you the heavy crossbow option for the black barrel, but sadly you’re too small and babyish for DND to let you use the big guns. so instead, you can spend an action to summon a light crossbow of any design you wish to your hand. it gets +1 to all attacks and damage rolls, deals magical damage, and can be used to cast your warlock spells. you can also turn magic weapons into your pact weapon if you like, so if you come across a real black barrel mid-adventure feel free to scoop it up.

speaking of spells though, you get plenty. as a witherbloom student you get Lesser Restoration and Ray of Enfeeblement for free, so… I guess giving an enemy weaker attacks is kind of like giving your friends defense buffs? we’re also stretching by grabbing Earthbind, helping you tie flying enemies to the ground with your sewing equipment.

14. Warlock 4: at fourth level you can bump up your Charisma with an ASI for stronger spells and auras. if your balloon is light enough, maybe Mage Hand will help it fly? if not, wait until next level. also, probably use Invisibility to stay safe in the meantime. it would be terrible to die right before a build comes together.

15. Warlock 5: at fifth level warlocks get third level spells. Fly will finally help your balloon leave the ground, while Revivify and Vampiric Touch… are free.

the real reason we stuck around this long was for the invocation Eldritch Smite, which finally lets your black barrel do the kind of damage you’d expect. it’s similar to divine smites, but they can only use warlock slots, deal force damage instead of radiant, and they knock stuff over instead of dealing extra damage to zombies.

16. Paladin 11: I don’t think that’s enough pain though. with Improved Divine Smite all your weapon attacks deal an extra 1d8 radiant damage! all your… melee… attacks. dammit, not again.

17. Paladin 12: okay, okay, we can save this. we just need to make a gun that can kill a god no matter what their health is in four levels. I’ve got it. Use this last ASI to pick up Metamagic Adept for two sorcery points and two kinds of metamagic you can use. we’re here for Distant spell to make your gun have some proper range, but Careful is nice too. I don’t think you have many AoE spells, it just feels in character.

18. Paladin 13: you’ve finally got fourth level spells, congrats! Ice Storm and Stoneskin are nice, but we’re here for two things. Find Greater Steed will give you a flying mount so you can finally stop wasting concentration on a balloon, and Banishment will help you kill gods.

well, not so much kill is permanently relocate them back to their home planes, but tomato tomatl. you can also use this on creatures from the plane you’re already on, but that’ll only banish them for a good minute.

19. Paladin 14: you can now use your Cleansing Touch as an action charisma modifier times a day, ending one spell on you or a willing creature. there is a reason. faeries don’t use magecraft.

20. Paladin 15: our final level of ancients paladin turned you into an Undying Sentinel. when you drop to 0 HP without dying you can drop to 1 instead once a day. you’re Mash’s guardian faerie, after all.

also, you don’t suffer the drawbacks of old age and can’t be magically aged. I don’t think faeries really have a “natural” lifespan, but if they did you’ve long since exceeded it.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

there’s a dearth of enemies in D&D with ranged options, so being a ranged fighter is always a smart move. a smarter move is being a ranged fighter who can fly. and you excel at that, with plenty of cool ways to pump out damage from a distance and keep even the winged bastards you have to fight from ever getting close. being able to ignore a semi-common resistance doesn’t hurt either.

you also come packing a ton of support options thanks to your auras and healing spells basically nullifying most-if not all- magical effects on your party, up to and including magical damage.

as a paladin faerie you’ve got plenty of tools in your kit for dealing with fae, demons, and undead, who tend to be the biggest troublemakers in the forgotten realms.

Cons:

while you have plenty of damage options, the best are reserved for melee paladins, which you aren’t. unless you risk getting close, you straight-up cannot use divine smite, improved divine smite, turn the faithless, or inflict wounds.

speaking of your support, guess how much of that requires you to be right next to your party! just about all of it, that’s right! having a gun is fun, but actually using it hampers both your offense and defense.

your highest level spell slot is fourth level. Find Greater Steed is cool and all, but is it really worth your highest spell slot? none of these creatures have more than 60 hp, so they will last at best a round or two in a fight. the biggest benefit of greater steeds are their ability to fly, but you can already do that.

[atobibas]

Who appears the most in Paperolimpiadi?

Here we have it! My magnum opus! This story has 27 characters and 250 pages! I spent multiple days on it, so you've got to read the full post, else you can't call yourself a real Atobibster (yes, I'm gatekeeping myself)!

As always I'll feel the need to mention that I only counted panels, and the page number is just calculated from the percentage!

Also, you might notice percentage numbers are a bit lower than usual. And that's of course because this is a very long ensenble story. I'll get more in to that later.

Oh, and there are probably spoilers for Paperolimpiadi! It's very good, so I'll reccomend reading it. It's very long, but if I calculate who appears most in it, you can read it!

Casey - 1 (panel) / 0.19 (pages) / 0.08% (of the story)

Zillia - 5 / 0.99 / 0.4%

O'Hara - 6 / 1.18 / 0.48%

Gallien - 8 / 1.58 / 0.63%

Owl Judge - 11 / 2.17 / 0.87%

Quibble - 17 / 3.36 / 1.35%

Fethry - 27 / 5.34 / 2.14%

Kildare - 30 / 5.94 / 2.38%

Beagle Boys - 31 / 6.14 / 2.46%

Brigitta - 33 / 6.53 / 2.61%

Sock and Gonz - 44 / 8.71 / 3.49%

Portis - 52 / 10.3 / 4.12%

Pete - 56 / 11.09 / 4.44%

Chen - 58 / 11.48 / 4.6%

Ducklien - 60 / 11.88 / 4.75%

Mae Wang - 64 / 12.67 / 5.07%

Trudy - 68 / 13.47 / 5.39%

Gyro - 76 / 15.05 / 6.02%

Jubal - 86 / 17.03 / 6.81%

Rockerduck - 105 / 20.8 / 8.32%

Mickey - 151 / 29.91 / 11.97%

Donald - 154 / 30.5 / 12.2%

Ellroy - 156 / 30.9 / 12.36%

Kim - 240 / 47.54 / 19.02%

HDL - 275 / 54.47 / 21.79%

Scrooge - 382 / 75.67 / 30.27%

(My thoughts and additional stats below!)

As Spectrus mentioned in his Inducks review Donald and Mickey never interact in this story. In fact despite how this story features both Mouseverse and Duckverse characters there aren't that many panels where we see both.

There are 53 panels where we see both Duckverse and Mouseverse characters. Which is about 4.2% of the story. It actually might not be low, it just feels low...

Anyways, let's look at the entry and exit stats. I decided to not count the first couple of pages of explanation and introduction, since that didn't feel like it was part of the story.

Owl judge - 8 (0.63%) / 23 (1.82%)

Gyro - 11 (0.87%) / 571 (45.25%)

Rockerduck - 16 (1.27%) / 315 (24.96%)

Scrooge - 28 (2.22%) / 1262 (100%)

HDL - 38 (3.01%) / 1262 (100%)

Donald - 40 (3.17%) / 1262 (100%)

Kildare - 41 (3.25%) / 163 (12.92%)

Fethry - 44 (3.49%) / 163 (12.92%)

Brigitta - 85 (6.74%) / 315 (24.96%)

Jubal - 85 (6.74%) / 315 (24.96%)

Quibble - 287 (22.74%) / 315 (24.96%)

Kim - 321 (25.44%) / 1262 (100%)

Chen - 374 (29.64%) / 1262 (100%)

Mae Wang - 401 (31.77%) / 1122 (88.91%)

Trudy - 480 (38.03%) / 819 (64.9%)

Portis - 588 (46.59%) / 763 (60.46%)

Pete - 588 (46.59%) / 819 (64.9%)

O'Hara - 592 (46.91%) / 660 (52.3%)

Beagle Boys - 608 (48.18%) / 655 (51.9%)

Ellroy - 664 (52.61%) / 920 (72.9%)

Mickey - 665 (52.69%) / 920 (72.9%)

Sock and Gonz - 959 (75.99%) / 1130 (89.54%)

Ducklien - 959 (75.99%) / 1134 (89.86%)

Gallien - 972 (77.92%) / 1134 (89.86%)

Zillia - 974 (77.18%) / 1134 (89.86%)

I didn't include Casey for this one because he only appeared in one panel in this one. That panel was panel number 594 at around 47.07%.

I also counted the first time we see some things. The first time we see the magical powder is at panel 342 or 27.1% of the story. The first time we see the camera is at 505 or 40.02%, and the last time we see it is at 1216 or 96.35%. The first time the games become relevant to the main plot (when Scrooge first gets the idea of using the camera for the games) is at 569 or 45.09%. The first time we go to Seoul (outside of flashbacks) is at 869 or 68.86%.

In Denmark this one was listed as an Uncle Scrooge story, and I think that's a reasonable choice. Although I don't think this story really has a main character. And whilst Scrooge does appear in all but one story his percentage in all those stories is usually pretty low. In fact, let's look at the top character's average percentage!

Donald - 16.83%

HDL - 24.6%

Rockerduck - 34.4%

Scrooge - 34.8%

Kim - 38.14%

Mickey - 50.19%

Ellroy - 51.62%

Alright, so this is obviously not what we should use to dertemine the main character... However it is an interesting thing to see.

Anyways, I think I'll leave it as this being a story with multiple characters. I think you could argue that each part has a main character, but I don't think the whole thing has one main character. But I do agree that Scrooge would be the one you should choose if you were to choose one!

[imonabeaut]

A Drive Through The Northwest Passage

(Part2)

Here's the second part of the Disco Elysium x Twin Peaks fanfic I'm doing. Check out part 1 here:

BTW, what do yall think the name of the fic should be? The title is supposed to just be the chapter name, so leave your suggestions below.

(Twin Peaks spoilers)

"So Kim, who are we working with?"

Kim kitsuragi: Kim picks up his notes and begins re-reading them wordlessly.

Espirit de corps: He knows them by heart at this point. But he's the type to always double check.

Empathy: He doesn't trust his memory, his writing is like a personal window to the past.

Inland empire: Until he peers through it is both set in stone and uncertain.

Kim kitsuragi: "Special agent Dale Cooper, FBI, he's the federal agent assigned to the case."

Espirit de corps: A man is hanging upside down by his feet in a hotel room. He talks to a tape recorder.

Dale Cooper: "Diane, 6:18 a.m., Room 315. Great Northern Hotel up here in Twin Peaks."

Espirit de corps: He talks about mundane things, you aren't sure if anyone is or will listen. He dismounts himself from the hanging contraption and continues speaking.

Dale Cooper: "Diane, it seems the Laura Palmer case has spurred quick action from the bureau. The discovery of what seems to be cocaine in laura Palmer's diary has been reported as a lead into an ongoing international smuggling operation. Apparently a pair of detectives from overseas have been investigating drug trafficking in the us-canada border and they've been dispatched from Seattle all the way out here to twin peaks."

Espirit de corps: He stops the recording.

Kim kitsuragi: "we'll also be working with local law enforcement, we should visit the sheriff's station as soon as we get there. He should also point us to some local accommodations."

-

-

Dale Cooper: Cooper sits in the conference room of the sheriff's department, sitting opposite to sheriff Truman.

"Harry, I just got off a call with Albert Rosenfeld. He's a forensics expert and will be assisting the investigation. When he arrives tomorrow he'll do an autopsy on the body of Laura Palmer."

Harry Truman: "Callin' in the cavalry, huh?"

He takes a moment to smile before continuing.

"So, why are we waiting to talk with Mike and Bobby"

Dale Cooper: "That's because the cavalry is coming in double, Harry."

Harry Truman: "What do you mean, Coop?"

Lucy Morgan: The intercom blasts the conference room with feedback.

"Agent cooper, Sherrif Truman. Lieutenant Kitsuragi and Lieutenant Du Bois are here to see you."

Dale Cooper: "That's our cue!"