#30 MIN OF RESEARCH OKAY

[cowboygenes]

The Life Cycle of A Star

[skitskatdacat63]

Re: Chair Lore: Where is the Chair From?

I was joking about the seat looking like a sim chair, but after doing some research, I'm almost 100% sure they just took seats from a 2012 Ferrari 458 and put them on plexiglass platforms 😭

I couldn't find any pics that look *exactly* like the chair itself, but I think these are pretty similar, no?

It's going to bug me so much that I can't find the exact chair UGH, like with the white stripe in the middle, you know? But yes anyways, this is my theory.

*fyi, I'm planning a drawing with this chair and my thought process with finding reference is always "this has to be exactly perfect and 100% accurate" so thats why I'm being incredibly specific and over-detailed about this 😭 please don't think I'm weird

[arlerts-angel]

when you can't sleep at night ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

NSFW! 18+ !! minors do not interact!!

cw: armin x fem reader, use of names (pretty girl, angel, babygirl) slight coercion?, oral sex (m&f receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex

a/n: GOOOD MORNING IT'S 11:30 AM SO HERE'S SOME SOME SMUT FOR YA 🩵

🔞 NSFW BELOW THE CUT 🔞

you've been laying in bed restlessly for what feels like hours listening to your sweet boyfriend's light snores. he always falls asleep first, and fast, too. you always wonder how in the world he falls asleep so easily. his blonde hair falls across his face as his head sinks into his pillow. he looks so content. you almost decide to leave him alone, but his voice echoes in your mind: "wake me up if you can't sleep, okay?"

"armin..." you whisper, softly shaking him.

"hmph?" he replies groggily, he's definitely still sleeping.

you think to yourself: "maybe i should just let him sleep..."

he starts shifting, slowly sitting up. sleep is very much still on his face, but he looks as dreamy as always.

"can't sleep?" he asks softly, rubbing his eyes.

"yeah... sorry for waking you. i feel bad." you whisper back.

"don't worry about it, i'm up now." he brushes a strand of hair out of your face. you smile softly at him.

"nothing better to wake up to than you, pretty girl."

you blush profusely. everytime he calls you that it makes you feel some type of way. many ways, in truth, but the sound of his sleepy voice just made your heart flutter. you laugh softly and start to feel your skin grow warm. he often leaves you speechless, which he finds adorable.

"you know..." he started.

oh, armin and his knowledge of many, random things. you have absolutely no idea what he's about to say next, until you feel his warm hand gently stroking your thigh.

"some research shows that having sex before bed may help you sleep better."

you scoff and roll your eyes playfully, thinking he's making that up for sure. he chuckles, obviously aware of your disbelief. he now has an objective in mind: to make you fall asleep.

"what?" he leans in closer, whispering in your ear. "don't believe me?" he gently takes your earlobe between his teeth, biting softly. the feeling sends a chill throughout your body. you let out a soft sigh and close your eyes as he plants soft kisses down your neck.

"there's no harm in trying, right?" he asks quietly as his fingertips softly stroke your inner thigh, eliciting a small moan from you. he smirks at the sound. he gently cups your face with his other hand and kisses your lips softly. you feel yourself getting wet as his fingertips travel closer to your core. there's no mistaking that he can get you going easily. he knows it, too. before you know it, he's hovering above you, your faces just inches apart, his fingertips tracing where your panties hug your hips.

he looks you in your eyes as he moves his fingers painfully slowly inside your underwear, rubbing your slit vertically, collecting your slick on his middle finger. he smirks once more, knowing (and loving) exactly how to make you putty in his hands. he removes his hand away from your slit, holding up his slender, wet finger. "look at that, my pretty girl is so wet already..." he pops the finger in his mouth, savoring the taste of you as he looks in your eyes.

"mmmh..." you moan softly, wiggling underneath him. "not yet, pretty..." he groans, palming his cock through his boxers. you watch him, getting increasingly impatient.

"please, 'min..." you whine. your hand makes it's way under his boxers, slowly stroking his shaft. he lets out a low grunt and thrusts. he loves the feeling of your soft hands around his dick. you sit up and slowly slide his boxers down his muscular thighs. the sound of his cock slapping his torso echoes through the otherwise quiet room. you lick your lips and look up at him as you take the tip of his dick between your soft lips.

"fuck, angel..." he groans as he looks at you teasing the his tip. you smirk and swirl your tongue around, never breaking eye contact. he groans again and grabs his dick, slapping it on your tongue. you slowly take his length between your lips, sucking on it like candy. he throws his head back and groans, thrusting his cock ever so slightly in your mouth.

"you look so pretty with my dick in your mouth..." he says softly, smirking down at you. this only encourages you to suck him off a little more, bobbing your head up and down all of his length and softly cupping his balls between your fingers. he inhales sharply at the sensation.

"my god, angel..." he whines, tossing his head back once more in pure pleasure. you hum against his cock, sending a chill throughout his body. this nearly sends him over the edge, enough to make him pull away from your mouth completely. he bends down to kiss you, starting at your lips and leaving a trail down your neck, chest, and torso, stopping just above your panties. he looks up and you and smirks.

"please, armin–" you sigh, desperate for him to touch you in any way. he kisses your vulva gently over your panties before sliding them down your legs. he kisses your inner thighs, slowly making his way back to your slit. you let out soft whimpers as he gets closer to your heat. he softly laps his tongue against your swollen clit. you gently grab his hair and moan.

"oh my fucking god–" you whisper, feeling his tongue glide up and down your pussy. he loves the way you react to his tongue and would stay between your legs for hours if you'd let him. he moans as he takes your clit gently between his teeth, sucking lightly on it.

he's so good at eating you out. he may even enjoy it more than you. he absolutely worships your pussy, mouthing away like he's starving. he pulls away for a moment, only long enough to tell you how good and sweet you taste. his tongue returns to your bud, licking at such a perfect pace you can't hardly stand it. you place a hand gently on the back of his head, pressing his face into your cunt a little harder, gripping his hair. he smirks and insers a slender finger into your dripping wet core, pumping in and out slowly.

"oh fuck, armin–" you moan, back arching and bucking your hips against his finger. it doesn't take long for him to add another finger, his tongue never shifting away from your clit. he fingers you faster and harder, hitting a rougher patch of your walls that sends you over the edge.

you let out a sinful moan. "gonna cum, gonna cum." but you don't. he stops everything and smirks. he rises and kisses your lips, making you taste yourself. "not yet, angel. want you to cum on my dick." he says in a low voice. you groan but you know it won't take too long for both of you to finish.

he slaps the tip of his cock against your clit, eliciting soft moans from you. he pushes it ever so slightly against your clit before guiding it down to your entrance. he slowly pushes into you, no need for lubricant because your cunt is soaked. he groans as he feels you stretch around him. "so fucking tight, angel. you take my dick so well." his thrusts start off slow and sensual. a couple of thrusts later his middle finger finds your clit and rubs little patterns on it. "so good, 'min." is all you can muster. his pace quickens and so does his breathing. he's too focused to say anything; too busy pounding balls deep in your pussy.

you were already so close to your orgasm that it certainly doesn't take much more to push you over the edge. you feel him hitting that sweet spot in your walls thst makes you writhe and contort underneath him. you can't even offer an announcement because you're cumming here and now and there's no stopping it. your pussy tightens around his cock as he slams into you, making a pornographic moan slip from his throat. "fuck yeah babygirl... cum all over my dick. just like that."

he slows his thrusts down so not to cum right away. "where do you want this cum, princess?" he asks through grunts and gritted teeth. he's so polite to ask, but there's only one answer right now. "inside me." you say breathily. a devilish grin spreads across his face and he starts thrusting is cock into you a little harder now that he knows where to cum.

"beg for it, angel. tell me how badly you want me to cum inside your pussy." yes sir! he's so fucking close and you know exactly what to say to get him there. "please 'min, my pussy is soaking and ready for your cum. i need my cunt to be filled with your cum." your begs and pleads earn a curse from under his breath. his eyes roll and his head leans backwards as his dick twitches, his cum spurting deep inside your pussy.

he eventually pulls out to lay beside you, softly stroking your hair. he's beaming at you, so very in love with you. "how you feeling, angel? think you can sleep now?" he asks sweetly. you smile and nod. "yeah, i think so." you cuddle him close, laying your head on his chest. he continues to run his fingers through your hair as he watches your eyes slowly blink shut. he places a soft kiss on your forehead and whispers: "sweet dreams, mon ange."

[studentbyday]

{ 05.11.24 } · { 50 days of routine } · { day 7 }

I was never “popular” at school. Not that I ever cared to be. I don't have the personality for it. And I don't really care to have the personality for it either. I'm not and never will be That Girl™ material, a “high-value woman”, or whatever feminine persona is trendy on TikTok these days (and i'm not even ON TikTok, but ofc the trends spread everywhere like wildfire) because I don't look the part (nor do I want to...i quite like my personal style) or think or speak or act the way she would if it goes against my values and/or it won't actually improve my wellbeing. I say I don't care. And I really truly don't because a lot of it and what it leads to is straight-up problematic for my personal case, running counter to the life I want to live and all my reasons why. But as with anything, being yourself has its pros and cons.

Sometimes I still feel like it's hard to truly belong anywhere...even the places I make for myself like this blog... Sometimes when I feel like this, I feel like the only place I most belong is in my head. It's not good. That's not where I need to be, nor do I need to be much concerned about trends on social media and what drives people to follow them. And I certainly don't need to compare myself to anyone else. I need to be in the real world and focused on my work only because I think it's worth it and because I think I'm worth it as I am.

I'm not sure why I felt like saying this.

~~~Friendly PSA: STOP 🖐🏻 scrolling social media of any kind when feeling low in self-esteem.~~~

got up at 7, continued filling in the CBT workbook then decided to move my answers elsewhere because the annotating feature in the ebook app is getting annoying, started my day at 8 with the usual minimalist morning routine

10/30 mins of the same beginner pilates workout i did a few days ago except i forgot to breathe and ended up so light-headed i couldn't go anymore...

filling in CBT workbook because i can't get the reflection questions out of my head until i answer them... 😣 so far, nothing new has been revealed to me, but in the busy-ness of the day-to-day, i tend to neglect ALL the other dimensions of my life and then forget that that's why i feel so shitty and the problem is the self-prompted reflection i tend to do at this time carries a lot of negativity and pessimism and comparison and judgment and it's not very organized, it's actually not organized at all, it's always just a word vomit. but when i do it now, with the tone of the categorized prompts not being judgy at all, i'm able to look at my problems more objectively and holistically and like "oh okay, i'm not doing as bad in this dimension as i thought and the REAL problem is this other dimension of life and all the specific things you mention are lacking here" and idk, sometimes i think it's weird that my brain works this way, it's like i was looking at the same picture the entire time and all i had to do was turn it a bit to the left for it to make sense. is this how brains normally work? 😅

finished last week's microbio module

researching for global health assignment...will begin writing tmr 😅👍

finished section 1/2 of last week's immunology module and started the loooong second section 🥴👍

🎧 some nights – fun.

@zzzzzestforlife tagged me to do this picrew! it was fun. and it's so coincidental that i've been thinking about ghosts lately! the past versions of us that we follow without question when they tell us what to do, what not to do, and what we should aspire for... ☁️ sometimes those ghosts are right...and sometimes they're just plain toxic.

tagging @whenmemoriesfrost @chemblrish @ecologie-txt @winryrockbellwannabe @obakanosandoitchi if you want to :)

[myokk]

Okay, question for you- is Eloise’s hair tied at the end and curly, or in a ponytail and curly, or is there no tie and I’m just blind?

I was going to answer this quickly but I am EXTRA & had to do a write-up of her hair (sorry🙏)

First, she normally does wear her hair in a braid!💓 I do NOT know how to draw braids nor do I want to learn, so I do my weird way that looks terrible and I really should spend like 30 min researching😔🙏

When I remember, I like to add the bow but I forget a lot🥲

Her hair is CRAZY and thick, and has been the bane of her existence her whole life. I’m just channeling her inner Black (she is like a great-aunt or something of Sirius and Bellatrix) so OBVIOUSLY i had to give her amazing hair.

Since she is a Proper Young Victorian Lady™️ who spent the last 5 years at a muggle finishing school, she NEVER wears her hair down, and felt scandalized the first weeks at Hogwarts, seeing girls her age wearing TROUSERS😨 and having their hair DOWN😳 and although she’s used to it now, she still feels uncomfortable thinking of herself doing it.

Sebastian daydreams about it all the time though😇🙏

Some quick doodles I sketched up for this así.

1) her crazy hair when it’s down💓🫶

2) Imelda LOVES doing Eloise’s hair. She’s never really had girl friends before, and the ritual of gossiping/doing hair/hanging out reminds Imelda of her childhood bc her mom used to do her hair and tell stories🥹🥹 and Eloise has NEVER had friends before OR the experience with her own (awful) mother so she LOVES IT TOO💓💓💓 (Imelda teaches her Spanish some nights)

[piillow]

can you write a skz comfort fic where the reader struggles with their university work pls and they comfort her?? xoxo

OMGGG yes comfort fics i love these also first request!!!!!! everybody cheer (queue awkward silence)

( •̀ ω •́ )✧

bsf!skz x gn!reader | cws : lots of implied sadness/stress/overworking, starving mentioned | wc : 2.5k | a/n : sorry some are shorter than others :(

chan -

- you'd been spending less time with him ever since it was midterms season. he understood you needed to study, but you seemed to be cooped up in your textbooks all too much.

- "y/n? don't you think it's time for a break?" he asked you. you just shrugged it off and replied with a quick "no."

- he sighed and let you do your own thing. he had plans to go to the library with some friends for an hour or two to study, so he hoped that you'd be done by the time he got back.

- but, lo and behold, you were still studying when he got back.

- "y/n! please... go to bed? i know we have midterms this week, but... sleep is still important, you know."

- "i know, chan. but i want to get as much done as i can, i've still got homework to finish."

- "here, we'll make a deal, yeah? you can study until midnight, but you'll only study until eight tomorrow night. your classes end at three, so five hours of studying."

- "what?! but.. chan! that's not enough!" you replied, slightly disappointed.

- "so, will you take the deal?"

- "fine..." you said while sighing.

- as the rest of the week went on, chan decided to invite you to his short library sessions with his friends, and even let you invite your friends along too.

- once midterms finally rolled around, he was always there for you.if it was comforting you with your late night study sessions, or even sending you a simple motivational text while you were taking your actual test. 

- it was the little things he did that made it better. so, maybe the deal wasn’t that bad after all.

minho -

- minho had been studying with you since lunchtime, and it was almost dinner time.

- "y/n-ah, time for a break. it's almost time for dinner, what do you want?"

- "i'm fine, min. i'll just make some instant ramen, don't worry about me."

- the surprised face he had made was.. interesting, to say the least. "y/n, eating is just as important as studying. it's on me, i promise. what do you want to eat?" he said, putting a hand on your shoulder.

- "are you sure? if you say so... i'll just eat what you're making, chef's choice." you said, giving him a smile.

- "ooh, okay! i promise you'll love it~"

- "wait.. not spicy food though!"

- "aww, fine..." he replied, pouting at you. “but still, why don’t you take a break? it’s been five hours, i’m sure your brain has gotten enough work done.” he says, standing up.

- “you’ll have to help me make dinner, it’s hard to make food with two hands, y’know?” he teased, but with full intent to get you to help him in the kitchen.

- “you- ugh, fine… i suppose i’ll help you.” you replied in your fake annoyance tone, to which minho had happily smiled at.

- as you walked into the kitchen to see many ingredients sprawled across the table, you were met with a very happy minho.

- which meant that you were in for a long cooking session. and possibly baking too..?

changbin -

- you’re both at the gym, sitting on a random bench while doing some sets of curls.

- then, from out of nowhere, you remember about a research paper that was due tomorrow. while you really wanted to tell changbin that you had to go and finish it, you didn’t want to finish your workout short today. 

- so, you didn’t. - it was currently 6:30am, and you had a bit over 30 hours to get it done. - but, it was a tuesday. you had classes, which meant more work, which meant you were definitely staying up tonight.

- just as you two were leaving the gym, you turned to him and asked “hey, you remembered the research paper for comp sci, right?” - “oh yeah, i finished it like, two days ago. it’s due tomorrow.” … right. of course he knew. he’s always on top of everything. - “yeah, i know that, just gotta make sure y’know? i mean, i cou-” - “could just check the syllabus.” he interrupted. “y/n, you didn’t even start it, did you?” he said in a flat tone. it’s almost like he could read through you. “y/n, c’mon. you really gotta start getting on top of your work…” - “i know bin, but.. i’m just so tired from everything. all these professors i have to email, all these papers i need to write, all the equations i have to solve. it’s getting overwhelming and i don’t know what to do. i know i have to work, but i just get stressed at the thought of it.” you admitted. it was getting too hard, too quick. but you couldn’t make it stop.

- as you two got into the car, he turned his keys and started pulling out of the parking lot. but, he wasn’t going to the dorms. he turned in a different direction.

- “bin, where are you going? this isn’t the way to the dorms, let alone campus in general.”

- “let me do my thing, y/n. you just have to sit here and relax, don’t worry about a thing. i promise.” he said.

- while you decide to get some shut eye while he drives, you suddenly wake up in the parking lot of your favorite cafe outside of campus. you always complained about how the ones on campus were always so crowded, and of course changbin took note of it.

- as he woke you up to your surprised face, he said “we’ll be staying here today. you have your laptop, don’t you?”

hyunjin -

- as you two sat in your non air-conditioned and sweaty dorm room, hyunjin was starting to get bored of trying to take a nap. so, he decided to take out his sketchbook, and draw you at your desk.

- he’d been listening to you type away at your laptop for what seemed like three hours, possibly more. you were in the same position when he went to bed, and still being in that position started to worry him. - “hey, y/n? you good over there? you’ve been working for like, 10 hours straight.” he said, walking over to where you were.

- “just working. i have to get this paper done for tonight, i have no time to waste.” you reply, not bothering to look at him while you shuffle through your tabs of resources and documents.

- “and… how much else do you have to finish?” he asks while adding some more hatching to his current sketch.

- “... three lectures i have to take notes on for quizzes next week.” you blurt out.

- “that’s next week. it’s only sunday, this week just started. why don’t you take a break after you finish? that’s your conclusion paragraph, no?” he asks again, leaning a bit closer to you so he can see your screen.

- “yeah, this is my conclusion. but i’d rather get it done earlier than i need to.” you reply while you proofread your paper once again. 

- once you let out a groan while you fix one of your mistakes, hyunjin pipes up. “here, give me your laptop, i’ll proofread it for you. it’ll be easier, since i haven’t read it before.”

- as you hand him your laptop, you take a peek at his sketchbook and the sketch of you. as he glances over the top of the laptop, he slides it a bit closer to you so you can see it better.

- while you admired the sketch of you, and while he proofread your paper, the silence in the room was nice. it wasn’t too awkward, not too tense, just… right.

- “it’s really good. i fixed what i had to, by the way.” he said, placing your laptop back on your desk.

- “you didn’t fix anything, though.” you say, confused.

- “yeah, because there was nothing to fix.” he replies.

- “oh- OHHH.” you say, facepalming yourself while hyunjin just laughs. “hey! don’t laugh at me like that. not my fault i’m a bit slow…” you say, crossing your arms.

- seeing your slight disappointment, his laughs come to a stop. “okay, okay, fine. but still, seriously, it was fine. and here, your gift.” he says while ripping out the page and handing it to you.

- “thanks. i guess i owe you, don’t i?” you ask as you took the paper.

- “cafe day?”

- “cafe day.”

jisung -

- you and jisung had clicked ever since you two became roommates at the start of the semester. just two new freshmen who were just trying to survive their first semester at college.

- so, while he was out at his night classes, you were working at the dorm. and almost every time he got back, he’d see you fast asleep in your bed.

- since you two couldn’t really talk to each other much, you decided to start writing sticky notes for him to read in the morning. they were always short messages, mostly consisting of anything similar to “i hope you’re doing well in your classes :)” or “hope you slept well.”

- so, when he entered your dorm room at 1am, he definitely wasn’t expecting you to be awake.

- “y/n? well, i wasn’t expecting to come back to this. what’s up? how are you doing?” he asks, not hiding his surprise.

- “oh, hi. i’m working. you?” you rushed out of your mouth. you felt like you were running on 100k/mph, and nothing could slow you down. there was no time for distractions, you just had to finish this assignment.

- han, sensing something is up, says “quickly cramming something? i can help you if you want. or, well, try my best, at least.”

- after hearing the word “help,” you jolt you head to the side to look at him. “really? you’ll help me? Seriously? oh my goodness, you’re a lifesaver! i can’t proofread for the life of me!” 

- as he sees relief wash over your face, he can’t help but smile. “yeah, i could! after this, you just have to turn it in, yeah?” he asks as you hand your mac over to him and nod.

- while he proofreads your work, you end up rambling to him about how you just hope that your professor doesn’t fail you. even though he wasn’t fully focused on you, he was just happy he could help you in any way.

- as he watched you turn in your assignment, he gave you a high five. “nice! now you can finally sleep, so i guess it’s my turn to start working now. good night y/n, sleep well.”

felix -

- whenever felix had arrived from his culinary classes, he almost always had some food with him, and he was always willing to share with you.

- today, he brought back an assortment of fried goods, which you could smell the second he opened the door.

- “ah, hi y/n. sorry about the smell..” he says as he takes his shoes off.

- you turned your chair to him, hoping that you’d be able to see what was in his bag. “it’s fine, at least it’s good food and not b/o.” you joked, which made both of you laugh.

- “still,” you continued, “what’d you bring? Chicken?”

- “spot on. and they let us experiment with random foods, so i tried frying some tteokbokki.” he said, looking at you with wide eyes. “definitely don’t recommend. i almost burnt myself from the oil like, twenty times.” he continued, sighing.

- “sounds pretty stressful, but i assume that that’s an understatement?” you ask, to which he nods almost right away. “i see.. well, if it makes you feel better, i’ve been working on these stupid geometry problems for like, two hours straight. i really need a break.” you admit, rubbing your temples.

- “well, why don’t we dig in? it’s still warm, and you can rant to me about whatever you want. sounds like a pretty even trade deal, hm?”

- and that ended up leading to a long dinner, with you two eating almost everything he had brought back. but, he would gladly do it again if it meant you’d be able to let go of some stress just for a little while.

seungmin -

- you two decided that today would be a good day to sit outside and get some work done, until it started to rain, and your laptop started to get water in it.

- once you got inside, you two checked the condition of your laptop, and after realizing it wasn’t turning on, this made you two bummed out.

- but you weren’t just bummed out. you had been working on a lab assignment due at 11:59 tonight, and it was 5pm. 

- after smashing the power button a few more times, you groaned. “great. i guess i’m going to fail this assignment that’s worth the same as a quiz. how beautiful.” you said sarcastically, shutting your laptop shut.

- “you wanna use mine? it’s back at the room, and besides, we got enough time outside today. i guess the rain was just a sign to tell us to come in.” he replied, hoping to lighten the mood.

- you raised a surprised eyebrow at him, “really?” you asked. “really.” he replied. “well, i will gladly take your offer. i’ll take anything i can to get this done. thank you so much.”

- as you worked, he happily accompanied you, even singing you a few songs, and being happily surprised when he heard you singing or humming along.

jeongin -

- you both sat at a table at the library, just studying in between your classes until your friend called you.

- “y/n! there’s gonna be a party at f/n’s house, you wanna go?” they ask.

- “oh, i would love to, but i’m too busy.. i’m sorry. tell me how it goes though! i hope you have fun.” you say, before hanging up the phone and sighing.

- jeongin looks over at you as you sigh, looking slightly concerned. “you okay? i know what it’s like to miss out on parties too. i’ve had to miss a lot, but i get over the fomo pretty quickly. i can stay with you tonight, if you’d like.” he offers. 

- you glance over at him, confusion written all over your face. “how’d you know- never mind. you’d stay with me? really? but i don’t want to be the reason you don’t go, then i’ll feel guilty too.” you say. - “no, really, it’s fine, y/n. if i’m being honest, i have lots of work to get done too, so it’s okay.” he reassures you as he pulls out his phone. “oh, it’s almost time for my class. i’ll see you later though. bye for now, y/n!”

- while he waved to you as he walked out of the library, you couldn’t help but think about his nice gesture to stay with you later. sure, there was a possibility he could be lying, but it was nice of him to do what he did.

[chaoticmannamedoliver]

Okay so, below is a health ish update and a vent about my former GP- cause they did smth that feld dehumanizing. This is mostly just so other people who might have similar health issues to me, can point me into right directions....im iffy about doctors rn-

Contents:

- stupid thing my GP did

- listing of my pains i have that neither of my 2 GP's ive been to acknowledged or bothered with. If you have something similar or know ANYTHING, i really need help, even just little things to make it easier.

- So, what my last gp did -

So i had an appointment with her recently that i took my boyfriend too since he was visiting me anyway- love him

I sat down, and the whole appointment was just a disappointment. She basically gave up on figuring out why im dizzy or why my blood pressure is so high with 18. I asked what im supposed to do with my heart, what im supposed to do about the dizzy- that i came to her for answers- but the woman who seemed so keen on finding out whats wrong with me, cursing my first gp for just prescribing me HBP Meds without further research and who daid she loved working with young adults...just apparently gave up n said is nothing n that i should just continue talking my meds. I had my shitty ass cane to the appointment with me, which she asked about - and i said it helped me with my dizzy, to which she rolled her eyes

She offered one more test, probably just to get me out and left for a bit to talk with a doctor. In the meantime i had a breakdown because i got no answers- and didn't get any further.

When she came back, she told me to get up and go straight, i asked to where exactly- then she grabbed my arm, took my cane from me and with a very uncomfortable grip, dragged me to the waiting area in front of the room for the last test and sat me down, giving the cane to my probably very taken aback partner who had followed us and mutteredthat i didn't need it and. I had another breakdown and didn't understand what happened yet- but it felt bad, dehumanizing?? GP asked me not to cry, and that what she did was just to give me courage and then just left. It felt like she never listened to anything i said- and i still don't know what to make of what happened - if anyone has suggestions- do tell? It felt....hurtful

- My issues and ows and whatnot -

So, there are a few, especially now that i have someone who actually tells me that they're not normal.

- my feet/heels start hurting after 5 ish minutes of standing

- i get dizzy if i stand for a minute or two on bad days and good days it kicks after 1-10 minutes

- heat and shower makes dizzy worse. A sitting think in the shower would make it better

- i have too high blood pressure if i don't take the meds.

- no, the dizzy doesn't come from any ear organ stuff. Tested that.

- the dizzy had gotten. Better after the meds, now its hard to tell.

- sometimes my gravity just says no.

- after maybe 30 min to an hour of walking, my feet/heels hurt. After a certain point i get dizzy. Then no amount of break will fix it. I need to lay down.

- without my cane, walking feels heavy. Please let me use my cane for fucks sake im going to hit the next doctor who says i don't need it i swear to GOD.

- growth pain. After a day of walking. Or cleaning. My knees and shins hurt. Especially once im laying again. They hurt so much that i want to claw at them. Take them out. Agony. Luckily ive started to recognize the kinda pain early and take a paracetamol- but without it? Not matter what position, im in pain

I don't think im supposed to have growth pain anymore with almost 19, right?

- when i get dizzy, the ground feels like its zooming away from me

- i was born at the end of the 6th month? If that helps any-

- inherited migraines from my dad- also just side info

[missys-mansion-of-mistakes]

September 23rd, 2024. Monday.

What I accomplished:

1 hour of research on grad schools

30 min walk with client

Survived the workday

🐟 Doing okay. "Just keep swimming" right? Work is piling up a bit-- more internships, scholarships to apply for-- but I'm still pushing forward.

🎟️ I keep looking at grad programs. There's such a huge variety of them: online or in-person, part-time or full-time, in other states or here... etc. It's a little overwhelming. Depending on what I decide, I could be in another state entirely within two years. So crazy. For now I'm just going to research all the options, and then from there see where I get into.

[Photo: my grad school tracking spreadsheet.]

[scaredexpert]

Oof... I have to say that every single storyline in that episode was unsatisfying imo

Bobby waking up 30 mins into the episode and everyone just lightheartedly moving on?

Buck and Christopher didn't hug goodbye and Buck and Eddie also didn't hug?? This episode's Buckley-Diaz scenes were just kinda meh aside from Eddie telling Christopher goodbye (pls Christopher come back next season wahhh) and I liked seeing Eddie's parents be more supportive

Bucktommy scene was cute but there continues to be no chemistry between them so what's the point???

Madney taking in Mara in a truly flabbergasting series of events???? There's no way they'd be approved as a kinship home for Mara, and there is no possible way on this earth they would be licensed as foster caregivers that quickly. Also, if Ortiz's interference removed Mara from Henren, why would she not continue to interfere with Mara being placed with Madney? (As if such a person would even have influence in this situation in the first place.) I mean, I like that the outlook is positive now, so yay? This one might just be me because I work in foster care and I just know how things work, but it is so grating. Oh, also, there is no way Hen would be able to just march into the group home and see Mara. No. Way. A fabricated tale that doesn't exist. I know, I know, I know, it's tv. But they could have done a modicum of research :')

I thought we were supposed to get some kind of cliffhanger????? I mean, I guess?? I'm not feeling a lot of suspense lmao. Gerrard will be captain while Bobby figures out how to take the 118 back, there will be drama until suddenly it'll all be better again.

And lastly, Family Feud theory is bones </3 But if it turns out eventually that Eddie is queer, we will all know that Family Feud was always on our side lmao

Okay, I guess the one satisfying part was that Amir's character and intentions were finally made clear... he was so clearly innocent, just hurt. I appreciated his role in this season and the actor KILLED it.

Dang I'm just frustrated with this season's writing overall. Bi Buck is wonderful, but I can't say I enjoyed a lot else, but it seems like I'm in the minority idk! I understand it was only 10 eps though and I'm still glad we got the season. I'm a Buddie shipper btw, but if it doesn't go canon, I'll live. However... it seems almost like the writers themselves haven't even decided, and um... they need to decide and then they need to commit to what they decide. I've been saying that for a loooong time. Keeping it THIS open-ended and hinting around is a disservice to everyone at this point, I think. I just think they're scared to make a choice, honestly.

I'm relieved to hopefully not be thinking about 9-1-1 anymore for a few months, but I have to find a new lil hyperfixation for a while. Suggestions? Lmao and does anyone wanna talk about our feelings? 🥲

[a-star-that-burns-brightly]

Arturo's talent confuses me a lot

Okay so on this fine 12:30 PM I was thinking about the newest QnA, and how DRDTDev said this in it

And it was always something that intrigued me a lot because I really could not figure out what it meant or why the exact ages of the cast were kept hidden. That is, until I started thinking about everyone's favorite(...?) Ultimate Plastic Surgeon, Arturo Giles. Specifically, his talent in question. Because to put it bluntly: How in the everliving FUCK is Arturo a Plastic Surgeon at his age Now you might wonder just what I mean by that, and as such let me run you down the requirements to be a plastic surgeon in the US from what I have researched:

Now obviously these are only three sources, and this is mainly referring to the US because that is where DRDT takes place, but the point still stands. For Arturo to become a licensed plastic surgeon, he would have to go through a six year program/residency for plastic surgery, obtain a bachelor's degree (or I guess whatever Hope's Peak's version of a bachelors degree is) which is canonically a four-year university in the DRDTverse, as WELL as an extra four years in medical school.

(Now fair warning, I am not the best when it comes to reading comprehension, so there might be some things in the screenshots I linked that I ultimately missed. And if so, you're allowed to (politely) point it out to me !) Even if there are a few things I misread, it still brings into question how Arturo obtained his talent when you look at his possible age Now obviously, as I mentioned before, the DT cast's actual age is a spoiler. But that doesn't mean we can't speculate based on the information we do have from the series

(A challenger has approached: Min Jeung /j) This line from the first bonus episode is the closest thing we get to a clear-cut age for the DT cast, where Unnamed Classmate / Mai says that Min is 18. Unfortunate jinxing aside, this also brings back up the fact that Hope's Peak in the DTverse is a four-year university course akin to US college (I'll actually include a screenshot this time)

So it can be assumed that this bonus episode (and I assume Xander's), takes place during their first year at Hope's Peak, and assuming that the rest of the cast is the same age they were all 18-19 during their first year. But that isn't all ! As remember, these guys have their HPA memories snatched from them, so let's cover that as well

Now, we don't know how long "a few years" could be. It could be only one year like Rose said initially, it could be two, three, hell ten for all we know. However, Min (as posted before) and Xander don't seem to have aged that much in comparison to their current appearences. So I'm going to assume (keyword here, assume) that about three years at most have been taken from them. as that would put them largely around the end of HPA. So with all of this in mind, that would mean that Arturo is around 19-22 during the events of the death game, but even with that considered, that still means that Arturo was scouted and given the title of Ultimate Plastic Surgeon at 18. And that is where my confusion lies since that...is basically impossible DRDT-Dev has clearly thoroughly researched all of the talents of the cast and how they work in the DTverse and in general seems to be very intricate when it comes to their writing, so I highly doubt they would make an oversight like this. There has got to be a reasoning for this. And I can think of three possible ones 1. Arturo is some kind of prodigy in the medical and cosmetic surgery field which could've led to him becoming a plastic surgeon much earlier in life than one typically would 2. Arturo is just straightup lying about his ultimate talent for whatever reason, possibly fabricating the license on his coat. He's obviously not faking his medical knowledge as we've seen in the actual series, but him faking his ultimate isn't exactly ruled out 3. The DRDT cast are much older then we or they realize, and there is another reason why they still look to be in their early 20s (I swear to god if this turns out to be some virtual world shit I am actually going to go insane /lh)

...Or the 4th reason that being I AM looking too deep into this, but whatever it's fun to overanalyze this shit Please let me know what you think, I'd love to hear other people's opinions on this !

[exemplarybehaviour]

My favorite pumpkin bread recipe lives on a webpage with too many fucking adds so I'm copying it here. Flavor text indicates this recipe was originally printed in McCalls Cook Book (Random House, 1963). My own notes in tiny text.

Servings: Makes 2 loaves (i make one big one, otherwise they are short) Prep Time: 20 Minutes Cook Time: 65 Minutes (add more time for Big Loaf) Total Time: 1 Hour 30 Minutes

Ingredients (US measurements):

2 cups all-purpose flour, spooned into measuring cup and leveled-off (this recipe worked fine with GF flour when I tried it, although I don't remember what brand I used)

½ teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon ground cloves

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1 teaspoon ground nutmeg

1½ sticks (¾ cup) unsalted butter, softened

2 cups sugar

2 large eggs

1 (15-oz) can 100% pure pumpkin (I use Libby's)

I once added about 3/4 of a bag of dark chocolate chips. It was pretty good but very intense.

My intense pumpkin baking research phase indicated that Libby's is the favored of bakers because they're very consistent in terms of water content.

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 325°F and set an oven rack in the middle position. Generously grease two 8 x 4-inch loaf pans with butter and dust with flour (alternatively, use a baking spray with flour in it, such as Pam with Flour or Baker's Joy). You can also pour it all into one loaf pan (add at least 10 min baking time) OR pour into a muffin tin (reduce baking time by.... a bit)

In a medium bowl, combine the flour, salt, baking soda, baking powder, cloves, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Whisk until well combined; set aside.

In a large bowl of an electric mixer, beat the butter and sugar on medium speed until just blended. Add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Continue beating until very light and fluffy, a few minutes. Beat in the pumpkin. The mixture might look grainy and curdled at this point -- that's okay.

Add the flour mixture and mix on low speed until combined.

Turn the batter into the prepared pans, dividing evenly, and bake for 65 – 75 minutes, or until a cake tester inserted into the center comes out clean. Let the loaves cool in the pans for about 10 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack to cool completely.

Fresh out of the oven, the loaves have a deliciously crisp crust. If they last beyond a day, you can toast individual slices to get the same fresh-baked effect.

Freezer-Friendly Instructions: The bread can be frozen for up to 3 months. After it is completely cooled, wrap it securely in aluminum foil, freezer wrap or place in a freezer bag. Thaw overnight in the refrigerator before serving.

We are also provided some nutritional information:

[venusblg]

Wanna Binge? Okay, but first…

(my version catered to my hobbies and my life haha)

Play 2 weeks in the Sims 4

Play 3 days of 7 Days to Die

Watch 3 Food Theory Videos

Watch 1 Episode of My 600 LB Life

Make a Janitor.AI bot

Write a Wattpad Chapter

Write a chapter for ANOTHER book

Do a 5 minute Pilates workout

Do a 5 minute normal workout

Do 3 Just Dance songs

Binge a 12 Episode anime

Clean bathroom

Make bed

Clean desk

Vacuum

Get rid of old stuff and declutter

Download sims 4 cc for 1 hour

Play Roblox Restaurant Tycoon for 30 minutes

Watch 5 €D vlogs on YT

Browse th1nsp0 for 25 minutes

Do dishes

Take a 30 minute bath

Complete an entire school unit

Make a list of safe foods

Make a list of fear foods

Do a 5 minute yoga

Research art colleges for 30 mins minimum

Draw 3 colored art pieces with backgrounds

Still wanna binge? Fine. You deserve it.

[archaic-stranger]

tips for.. not procrastinating; ya girl needs it

yeah! as usual, some of these might work for you while others won't. some trial and error will give you a better idea of what techniques are helpful. here are some strategies that i've found effective:

make a list. this is a pretty basic one, but even knowing what you want to get done is a step towards getting it done. break large tasks into manageable, specific, steps - instead of "write term paper", try "research for term paper - 30 min".

a general to-do list is great, but you can also go a step further and sort tasks by how aversive they are. often i procrastinate because there's one thing i really don't want to do, and i'm avoiding it by not doing anything at all. once you know what the most aversive thing is, give yourself permission not to do it. set it aside and pick something less unpleasant to do instead. essentially, procrastinate on something you really don't want to do by doing something you only sort of don't want to do.

have fun with it. brew a cup of tea, put on your favorite music, or use a pen with your favorite color of ink. making your space more appealing won't completely stop you from procrastinating, but it might make it a little easier to get started. try romanticizing the task - you're not taking notes for a class you hate, you're a scholar unraveling the secrets of the universe. it's kind of silly, but having fun, in whatever way works for you, will make it easier to get things done.

just get started. i'm sure you've heard this one before, but it really does work. set a 10 minute timer, or tell yourself you're going to do one math problem, and see what happens. if that's all you get done? great - a little bit of work is far better than none at all.

have someone hold you accountable. this goes hand in hand with the last one - getting started on a task is way easier if someone else tells you "okay, you're going to work on this for 10 minutes". sometimes a bit of encouragement or positive reinforcement from a friend or family member can make a big difference.

plan ahead. when you wake up, set aside a certain time later that day and decide what you're going to work on. it's easier to tell yourself "in two hours, i'm going to work on my math homework for twenty minutes" than it is to say "right now i'm going to get everything done". like with the to-do list, plan tasks that are manageable and specific.

finally, take care of yourself. procrastination isn't always a bad thing - sometimes it's your brain and body letting you know that you need rest. if you keep trying to be productive but just can't find the motivation, remember to be gentle with yourself. procrastination isn't a moral failing - there's nothing wrong with you as a person if you're struggling to get work done. if you have the opportunity, take an evening off. watch some tv or go to bed early. letting your brain rest might feel like a waste of time, but you'll feel more refreshed the next day.

good luck! you've got this, and don't be afraid to ask for additional help if and when you need it. if you're a student, your school might have resources available to help with procrastination and task organization. if not, there are some more in-depth articles here and plenty of other internet resources available to people struggling with the same stuff you are.

[whentherewerebicycles]

okay well we spent two hours doing a small group brainstorming/planning activity using projects from people’s work and that was actually fun—I love doing that kind of ideation and planning work with people. then we had to sit through 30+ min of whole-group debrief where people stood up and monologued breathlessly about feeling held by the collective as we harvested each other’s wisdom which almost ruined the experience. but luckily I came prepared with a challenge to work through in my head lol.

today’s zoning-out project is mapping out the basic research skills class I’ll be teaching in the spring quarter. one of the big problems I’ve identified in my info-gathering interviews is that students can’t do some pretty basic research things (like reading academic articles, evaluating sources, conducting lit reviews on a given topic, etc) and so faculty don’t want to take them on as summer research assistants because it’s a ton of work to train them in those skills AND familiarize them with the faculty member’s questions and methods AND give them a crash-course on the existing scholarship around this topic. so I am trying to pilot a thing where faculty get extra research funds for taking on a small group of summer students… but my office takes them for a quarter first, trains them in those basic skills and helps them build relationships with the librarians, and has them do all their major activities & assignments using real sources/data related to the faculty member’s project. that way students have 10 weeks to practice the skills and learn at least some of the research before we hand them off to the faculty mentors for the summer. I think we will also provide ongoing mentoring + student services-type support throughout the summer so we can continue working on project management and skill-building type stuff with them individually as they are conducting research… but for now I am focusing on drafting a version of the spring course to workshop with the faculty members who have expressed interest in participating. anyway I am at the very earliest stages but today while zoning out I spent some time trying to unbundle some of the skills that go into engaging with academic sources… needs refining (and maybe even some more unbundling?) but here is a first stab at it:

[artfoold00k]

Hey Dook, I really hope the upcoming year brings you nothing but good vibes and a perfect harmony in your awesome art! Your new pieces always make my day, seriously. You're such an inspiration, so dang talented.

Quick question for you: I often find myself stuck when I try to draw in my free time. How do you always come up with such cool ideas? Share your secrets on finding inspiration and drawing as expressively as you do, please!

(´｡• ω •｡`) Ah, you're so kind. Thank you for the good wishes. I wish you an awesome upcoming year as well.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

That's a good question! It's relevant for many fellow artists out there.

SUMMARY: Mix: your passion, your favs, a theme, portfolio and art goals. Power up with your references collection.

In details ⤵️

For me, stumbling onto those bright ideas that really click, started with digging into who I am and what I love.

It's mainly about recognizing the roadblocks and figuring out a fix that fits you. And it's like having a chill heart-to-heart with yourself:

you: I'm stuck. Can't figure out what to draw! mind: Okay. What is your main objective? Work or hobby? you: Feeling a bit rusty. Maybe I should start with something personal, you know, for practice. mind: Got it. First things first, let's jot down your favorite things. Got a list handy? you: Uh, not really. They're all up in my head. mind: No biggie. We can roll with that. It might spark some inspiration. But hey, to spice it up, let's create a visual board of you as an artist. Your focus, your style, your values — everything. Think of it like a moodboard. you: Sounds kinda complex. I just wanted to doodle in my downtime. mind: Trust me, this won't eat up much of your time. It's a breeze, and the result might just be the secret sauce for your future drawings. Start a bit now, pick it up later.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I, actually, aided it further.

All my ideas that wake me up or keep boiling in my head, I write into digital lists (in my case is TickTick app). Because when I see something inspiring (or someone) I can attach a link where needed, or add a custom note with markdown available.

Then I began to fill up my reference folders. I work on them from time to time with a timer (20-30 mins). In my case, when I focus on character design, I have a collection of styles I want to try (including art from my favorite games cuz sure I want to learn how pro artists do it), coloring and drawing tutorials, educational (anatomy and all that), poses/faces/expressions, fashion, etc. *can be on your device, online drive, or a platform like Pinterest. Each set is not enough on its own. To make it work - combine things. Example: pick a pose, add a face to it, choose something trendy and fashionable, add your favorite colors/items/theme, throw some VFX. Mix and mash, don't be afraid to combine incompatible.

By establishing my priorities, I made lists (yet again, my obsession) of what I want to practice and then added each category in a randomizator to pick for me 3 elements to match and challenge. Here is my approximate plan (WIP). Random color generator (one of many out there)

I trained myself not to take too broad themes and stick to what I want to have in my portfolio (what drives my future commissions) while staying versatile. Takes practice.

I hope it helps somehow. It's something that works for me these days but might change in the future.

Find your own way because no one knows you like you do, so the most comfortable way to resolve an issue is the one that's crafted by you. Believe, your mind can find shortcuts and tips for you if tasked to do so. Don't forget to research and store.

[akademiaangel]

day six ~ saturday 14 october 2023

okay i wasn't that productive today either

but i was so tired 😭

things done today:

➢went on two 30 min walks to gain some motivation

➢studied properly like 2-3h

➢during the day reviewed a bit and answered questions

➢researched gymnasiums a bit and got some info:

~ gymnasium info ~

so first of all, there is a space gymnasium i want to go to

i want to study astronomi, and it's seems to be the only good one i can find

but the problem is that i'll have to higher my grades ALOT

the lowest merit score (grade score basically) to attend is 290 i think, 302 being the lowest score attended and 325 being the average

and my merit score is 240 😭

so i'll have to do ALOT to do

but i calculated a bit of possible grades i could get in different subjects and if i really tried i think i could get like 315

so atleast i have much more motivation now 😃👍

things to do:

➢study for history (test wednesday)

➢study physics (test in two weeks)

➢study math

➢book documentation

➢add dutch course on duolingo + study dutch

➢study japanese

➢research and look for gymnasiums