#3. cheating but it’s not any of the songs in particular?? also I’m not putting the Beatles on this list even for Maxwell’s Silver Hammer | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

flowercrown-bard · 3 years ago

Note

35 for Geraskier? :3

thank you so much for the prompt! And also, I would like to apologise. I had the most cursed thought about how to end this and I wasn't going to actually write that, but you know sometimes you have an idea so bad that you just know you would forever regret it if you didn't do it

prompt: Bets/teasing with increasing physical stakes makes character confront their feelings

word count: 5k

kind of inspired by the song "anything you can do I can do better"

content warning: brief mention of injury (no detailed description)

Anything you can do, I can do better

“You know you could help me, right?” Jaskier’s tongue peeked through his lips in concentration. “All you need is a little magic-“ he wiggled his fingers through the air uselessly, letting the sticks he had been holding before fall to the forest floor. “-and we would have a fire. Easy as that. So why, oh, why do you insist on torturing me thus?”

Geralt had to bite back his grin when Jaskier turned his big pleading eyes on him. “I thought you said you were ‘perfectly fit to travel through the wilderness’.”

Jaskier abandoned his fruitless attempt at making a fire for good and his puppy eyes turned into a glare. “I am! Just because you decided to be a prick about it, doesn’t mean I’m useless.”

“You almost stepped into the snare I had set up to hunt our dinner.”

Jaskier crossed his arms in front of his chest and lifted his chin in defiance. “Your point?”

“My point is that you wouldn’t survive a day without me out here.”

“Well, good thing I don’t want –“ Jaskier broke off and his eyes narrowed. “Wait. Are you…” he came closer to Geralt, who barely could keep his shoulders from shaking. “Are you laughing at me? Geralt, how dare you!”

A snorting laugh slipped past Geralt’s lips and he no longer fought back the grin. “I would never dare do such a thing.”

“Oh, no. That’s it.” Jaskier jabbed a finger at Geralt’s chest in outrage. “I am going to prove to you that I am just as good as you are at surviving out here. No, I am better.”

For a long moment Geralt only stared at him. “I am a witcher. I am enhanced and trained specifically to survive out in the wild. You are a bard.”

“And I am stubborn and pissed off. And I know that I can do anything better than you.”

Geralt threw a pointed look at the sad attempt at making a camp fire. Jaskier cringed and shrugged his shoulders. “Magic doesn’t count.”

“Alright then,” Geralt sighed, but his lips twitched up when Jaskier’s eyes lit up with determination. “How about you prove how good you are by setting up the tent?”

“Psh, that’s easy.” When Geralt sceptically lifted a brow, Jaskier added, “I am a travelling bard. Do have some trust in me.”

Geralt watched in amusement as Jaskier strode off to go about his task. At least for the time being the bard would be distracted. Geralt knew there wasn’t a chance that Jaskier would actually succeed in setting up the tent, but it was strangely endearing to watch him bite back frustrated curses as he got tangled up in the fabric. And maybe, just maybe Geralt was preparing his ‘I told you so’ for when Jaskier finally admitted defeat and asked Geralt for help.

Except, that didn’t happen. Against all expectations, Jaskier managed to build the tent and it didn’t even take him too long.

Geralt stared at him, taken aback. Clearly Jaskier noticed Geralt’s surprise, for the smug grin he wore only got wider and he put one hand on his hips, gesturing towards the tent with the other.

“There you have it. I dare you to tell me again that I’m not as good as you are.”

“You are not,” Geralt said, more to watch Jaskier splutter in indignation than anything else.

He wasn’t disappointed.

“I am able to prepare us dinner,” Geralt said, taking out his knife.

“Oh please, now you’re just being ridiculous.” Jaskier rolled his eyes with a huff. “We both know that before I came along, you only used salt and pepper to spice your food. If even that much.”

Geralt shrugged. “I never said it tasted good. I just said I was able to prepare it.”

Jaskier’s eyes crinkled as his grin became triumphant. “Aha! So you admit it. I am better at cooking than you.”

“If you think so, then I’m sure you’ll have no problem preparing these.” Geralt did his best to keep his expression carefully neutral as he held the rabbit he had caught out to Jaskier.

Jaskier blanched at the sight. A hint of guilt battled with the satisfaction of seeing Jaskier give up on his stubbornness and he was just about to take the rabbit back and skin it himself, when Jaskier took it away from him, though he held it in the same way a lordling might hold a wet frog.

Over the next days, Geralt started having more and more fun with this. No matter what he told Jaskier to do, he jumped at the opportunity to prove himself. At this point, Geralt wasn’t really sure anymore what exactly Jaskier was trying to prove.

It was obvious that Geralt’s increasingly ridiculous bets were nothing that would prove anything to Geralt other than that Jaskier was a stubborn idiot who would rather attempt to chop down a small tree than give up, though he had done that particular task while throwing glares at Geralt every other second. It had been fun to watch Jaskier grit his teeth and try to succeed in this utterly useless task.

It had become slightly less fun when Jaskier had become so exhausted that he had to shrug off his chemise, revealing his skin that glistened with sweat.

Seeing Jaskier like this – seeing the muscles in his shoulders and arms flex as he swung the axe – was strange. It felt wrong. At least that was the only explanation Geralt had for the strange twist in his guts as he watched his friend. And the only reason why his mouth went dry when he later massaged Jaskier’s sore back to get the tension he was responsible for, was because he felt guilty.

He should have stopped then.

He didn’t. Not when they were making camp and not now that Jaskier was walking beside Roach, humming the same melody for the umpteenth time.

Just to see Jaskier’s reaction, Geralt now said, “I bet you can’t stay silent for longer than I can.”

He threw a glance at Jaskier out of the corner of his eye. Jaskier had stopped walking and was opening his mouth to protest. Geralt lifted his brows and cocked his head to the side, the corners of his lips twitching.

Jaskier narrowed his eyes, but no sound left him. Instead, he mouthed something at Geralt that he was sure must be some sort of insult, before hurrying after Geralt.

It became clear quickly that this might just be the hardest task for Jaskier. Chopping wood and skinning rabbits was one thing. Evidently, Jaskier’s stubbornness gave him extra strength and the ability to swallow his disgust. But staying quiet? He looked as if he was ready to through the towel right then and there, and not even a full minute had passed.

Geralt was almost fully convinced that the only reason Jaskier remained silent was that every time his fidgeting got worse and he looked like he was about to open his mouth to say something, he caught Geralt’s eyes. Within a heartbeat that determination was back in his eyes and he snapped his mouth shut.

Geralt was almost impressed. He should have known that Jaskier would play dirty.

He started to poke Geralt’s legs, pull at his boots and open their straps.

Any glare of Geralt’s was only answered with a shit eating grin and a shrug that screamed ‘You said nothing about me getting you to talk first.’

Too bad that Jaskier wasn’t the only stubborn one between the two of them.

Geralt remained stoic, no matter what Jaskier tried to grate on his nerves. He was content to ignore him. After all, Geralt had plenty of practice tuning out Jaskier’s singing, he would have no problem ignoring the way Jaskier –

Eyes wide and mouth opened into a silent cry, Jaskier stumbled. He fell forward, his arms flailing to protect his lute.

Without needing to think about what he was doing, Geralt reached down and grabbed Jaskier by the scruff of the neck, steadying him.

“Careful,” he growled.

And Jaskier…Jaskier turned to him with the most self-satisfied expression Geralt had ever seen on him.

“Told you,” Jaskier said cheerily. “I anything you can do-“

“Jaskier,” Geralt warned, but he failed to keep the amusement out of his voice. There was too much joy in Jaskier’s eyes to dampen his mood with Geralt’s broodiness.

“Which makes me think,” Jaskier tilted his head in contemplation. “Not that we’ve determined that I can keep quiet for longer –“

“Because you cheated.”

“Because I can keep quiet for longer,” Jaskier repeated, emphatically ignoring Geralt’s protest, “We should see if you can talk for longer than me.”

“No we shouldn’t.”

Jaskier skipped a couple of steps ahead, until he was walking right before Roach, turning around so he was walking still facing Geralt as he walked. “Whyever not?”

“Because this thing we’re doing isn’t about me,” Geralt replied with a huff. “And talking is no valuable life skill.”

The gasp Jaskier let out could put any actor delivering their final monologue to shame in how theatrical it was. Jaskier clutched a hand over his chest and pointed an accusatory finger at Geralt.

“The audacity!” Jaskier gave Roach a long-suffering look, as if she would understand his woe and agree with him. “Geralt. My dearest friend. You can be such a smart man, but what you said just now? That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Ever heard yourself talking?”

“Don’t try to distract me with insults. I have lived at court, trading insults is a battle you won’t win. Speaking of which, talking might not be important in the woods, but it sure is invaluable when you want rich people to pay you, which – oh! Wait. That is exactly what you want.”

Geralt grunted. “Your point?”

Jaskier’s lips stretched into a grin. He lowered his voice into a very bad imitation of Geralt’s growl, when he said, “My point is that you wouldn’t survive at court without me out here.” His voice jumped back to its normal pitch. “In other words, you need me.”

Geralt scoffed, though for some reason he liked the certainty with which Jaskier said those words.

“I really don’t.”

“Prove it then.”

“What?”

Jaskier stopped, forcing Roach to come to a halt as well.

“I said prove it. I don’t see why I’m the only one that needs to prove that I’m a worthy travel companion – “

“It was your idea,” Geralt grumbled.

“-so, how about this: I continue to do everything you think I need to be able to do out here and you prove to me that you could survive at court.”

“I don’t want to survive at court. And I don’t have to prove anything.”

Jaskier’s brows rose and he lifted his chin in a challenge. “Sounds to me like you’re scared.”

Geralt glowered at Jaskier. He could just guide Roach to walk around Jaskier. He could just ignore that stupid challenge.

But Jaskier had that look on his face. It was infuriating. Geralt never stood a chance against that look.

He jumped off Roach and walked over to Jaskier, trying to make himself look as menacing as possible, until they stood almost chest to chest.

He could see Jaskier’s throat bob as he swallowed. Geralt leaned in until their noses were almost touching.

“You’re on,” he growled, before he turned away from Jaskier and made to get onto Roach.

He was stopped by Jaskier clearing his throat.

“Actually,” Jaskier drawled. “At court it’s considered very impolite to ride on a horse while your companion is walking.”

Geralt’s brows drew together. “I’m not letting you ride Roach.”

Jaskier let out a short laugh. “Oh, don’t you worry, I am out of practice anyway.” He stepped to the side to make space for Geralt to walk next to him while leading Roach. “But I bet you can’t walk for hours as you make me do.”

It became clear quite quickly that Geralt had underestimated Jaskier’s ability to be petty. Obviously most of what Jaskier made him do now was revenge for the ridiculous tasks Geralt had given Jaskier.

Well, two could play this game. And oh, how they did. For weeks they went back and forth, Geralt giving Jaskier a task that he performed with gritted teeth and Jaskier enacting his revenge by making Geralt do all sorts of ridiculous things. One would think that sooner or later one of them would run out of ideas, but Geralt had been walking the Path long enough to know that there were never enough skills to have and whatever could be said about Jaskier, no one could deny that he was creative.

And of course neither one of them was willing to back down from a challenge.

Which was the reason why Geralt disguised his obligatory protest at Jaskier’s newest demand as a clever explanation for why he can’t possibly do what Jaskier dared him to.

“How on earth am I supposed to ‘dress appropriately for court’ when I don’t have any fancy clothes with me.”

Jaskier put his hands on his hips. “You would have, if you had listened to me when I had asked you to come to the tailor with me.”

Geralt pinched the bridge of his nose. “That was back in Touissant. Months ago.” He gestured to the trees surrounding them. “I don’t think there’s a tailor anywhere close.”

Jaskier opened his mouth before letting it snap shut again.

“What?” Geralt demanded.

A blush crept across Jaskier’s cheeks and he averted his eyes. “Nothing it’s just…There are courtly clothes here. Myclothes.”

Geralt’s mouth went dry. “You want…” His eyes drifted to the doublet Jaskier was wearing. Without wanting to, he imagined Jaskier opening the buttons one by one and giving Geralt his own doublet.

When Geralt didn’t resume talking, Jaskier’s eyes darted back to him. For a moment he looked confused before his expression morphed into one of panic. “Oh, gods, no, that’s not what I – no. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t make you…” Jaskier cut himself off and went over to his bags, rummaging through them for long enough that Geralt began to wonder if maybe he was just trying to avoid looking at Geralt. Finally, Jaskier came back with a triumphant sound that didn’t bode well for Geralt and a deep purple doublet.

“No,” Geralt said firmly, as he eyed the garment in distaste. “I am not wearing that.”

“So are you saying that you give up?”

Geralt held Jaskier’s gaze for a tense moment, before snatching the doublet out of his hands.

“Fine,” he growled. “Don’t complain if it tears. This was your idea.”

Geralt felt awkward as he shrugged off his own shirt and donned the doublet. The fabric felt nice enough against his skin, but for some reason, the knowledge that Geralt was wearing Jaskier’s clothes set his chest ablaze. The sensation was so distracting that he fumbled with the buttons, unable to close them on his own.

“Here, let me,” Jaskier offered and suddenly he was right in Geralt’s space. His head was lowered so that he could see what he was doing as he buttoned up the doublet with practiced movements.

Without meaning to, Geralt leaned forward, just a bit. Just enough to catch more of the lavender-scent that clung to Jaskier’s hair.

“There, all done,” Jaskier said and looked back up. His eyes widened when he saw just how close he was to Geralt who sucked in a sharp breath. Their faces were only inches apart and Jaskier’s hands that had come to rest on Geralt’s chest were burning his skin through the fabric.

“Jaskier…” He didn’t know why he said it, why suddenly this name was all he could think about.

His skin was burning and the doublet felt too tight, too hot.

Geralt squirmed and as if he had been shook out of a stupor, Jaskier took a step back. Geralt pretended not to notice the way the loss of the touch left him strangely cold.

“Yeah, no, you were right,” Jaskier blurted, his face burning in a furious red. “That’s not your colour. At all. Just-“ he gestured to all of Geralt, his eyes lingering on the buttons threatening to pop over Geralt’s chest and the way the fabric stretched over his arms, “that looks just utterly unacceptable. You need to get that off right now.”

Geralt barely had the chance to nod, before Jaskier was on him again, practically tearing the doublet off of him.

He turned back as soon as Geralt was free of the garment again. Geralt should have been relieved to be rid of the atrocious thing, but as he watched Jaskier stuff it into the bottom of his pack as if he wanted to never see it again - as if the sight of Geralt wearing it had been so terrible that he wanted to ban it from memory forever - he felt a strange pang in his chest.

After that, Geralt wasn’t sure how to proceed. Usually, he wouldn’t have waited a day to give Jaskier the next challenge, but ever since the incidence, as Geralt had come to think of it, Jaskier had been strangely tense.

Geralt wracked his brain, trying to figure out what he had done wrong. Maybe the doublet had ripped after all without Geralt noticing. And who could blame him? It had been distracting having Jaskier so close, touching him.

Then again, nothing had happened. It didn’t even deserve to be called an incident. Still, Geralt couldn’t shake the feeling that something had changed that day, that they had come dangerously close to having something happen.

Whatever it had been, it couldn’t happen again.

And so Geralt refrained from challenging Jaskier.

At least he did, until Jaskier looked at him a couple of days later with an unreadable expression on his face.

“I am sorry,” Jaskier said quietly.

Geralt’s brows furrowed as he searched Jaskier’s face. “What are you sorry for?”

Jaskier shrugged and turned his face away. “You are cross with me. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Geralt’s throat grew tight at the way Jaskier’s voice wavered. “You didn’t. And I’m not.”

“No?” Jaskier looked so hopeful, so relieved. “I just thought…you didn’t give me a new challenge and I was worried I had ruined it.”

Geralt’s chest clenched uncomfortably. “So eager to get your ass kicked?” He said as carefree as he could and nudged Jaskier in the ribs with his elbow. “I just needed time to come up with a good challenge.”

“Did you find one?”

“Hmm.” Geralt looked around camp as subtly as possible, frantically trying to find something he could make into a new challenge. As always, his eyes landed back on Jaskier. More specifically on his exposed forearms, where he had rolled up his sleeves.

“Arms,” he blurted out. When Jaskier gave him a confused look, he cleared his throat and gestured between himself and Jaskier. “We should do arm wrestling. As a test of strength.”

Jaskier get out an incredulous laugh. “You want me to test my strength against a witcher?”

Geralt shrugged, a pointless attempt to hide his sheepishness. “You are the one who said you could do anything better than me.”

Jaskier’s arms drifted down to Geralt’s arms, assessing. Eventually he nodded.

“Alright.” Jaskier’s voice was uncharacteristically hoarse. “Fine. I’ll do it.”

And oh, how he did. He stood no chance, of course, even as Geralt held back. Jaskier put all of his strength into it. He used both hands. He stood up and tried to use his body weight.

He let out a noise of frustration and his face scrunched up in an expression that could only be described as adorable.

Geralt didn’t even realise how lost he had gotten looking at Jaskier until he heard a low thud and Jaskier’s face twisted in disappointment.

Geralt forced himself to look away from Jaskier’s face and saw the obvious. He had Jaskier’s hand pinned down.

“I guess you won,” Jaskier said and made a face. “You have found something I can’t do.”

Geralt hesitated. This would have been the perfect moment to gloat, to declare this silly game over. What left his mouth instead was, “We’re even now. I couldn’t wear the clothes and you can’t beat me. I’d say that means we still don’t know which one of us is better.”

Though Geralt knew. When Jaskier’s eyes lit up at Geralt’s words, he knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that Jaskier was better – he might even be the best man Geralt knew.

After that, the fight was fully on again. Jaskier didn’t hold back. Not an hour later, when the moon had just begun to creep across the sky, Jaskier stood up and offered Geralt his hand.

“I bet you can’t dance.”

He was right, of course, but not once did he mention how Geralt kept stepping on his feet or how his posture was all wrong.

Geralt wouldn’t have cared if he had. He didn’t think his defeat would have even registered. He was too occupied fighting and failing to keep his heartbeat slow as Jaskier pulled him ever closer and let him through the motions of the dance while humming a soft melody.

In this moment, he couldn’t have cared less if he lost a bet or not.

And it appeared that Jaskier cared just as little about winning the bet, just this once.

Neither of them said a word about it and when they finally let go of each other, Jaskier just looked at him with that same unreadable expression he had shown more and more often lately.

“Your turn to make a move,” was the only thing he said, before disappearing inside the tent.

Geralt was hurt. It wasn’t a deep or particularly painful wound. Not that one would be able to tell from the way Jaskier fussed over him with worry etched into his face.

“I bet,” Geralt pressed through his teeth, “that you don’t know how to clean a wound.”

Jaskier stared at him in disbelieve. “You’re absolutely right I don’t.”

“Don’t you want to try?”

Jaskier’s brows drew together like storm clouds and his voice was thunder. “Really, Geralt? You’re bleeding. Do you really think this is the right time for this? If I mess this up-“

“Jaskier,” Geralt interrupted him and put his hand soothingly on Jaskier’s wrist. He could feel his pulse pump beneath his fingers and he rubbed a small circle into his soft skin. “You won’t hurt me. This is just a scratch. The drowner barely got me.”

“It wouldn’t have gotten you at all if I hadn’t been in the way,” Jaskier said bitterly.

Geralt’s chest clenched and he squeezes Jaskier’s arm gently, making him look at him. “That doesn’t matter. The important thing is that you didn’t get hurt. And that you know what to do if you ever do get hurt.”

There were implications in Geralt’s words that he didn’t want to think too hard about. He didn’t get the chance to anyway. Jaskier looked at him with wide eyes, before he nodded and set to work.

His hands were gentle and he hummed soothing melodies as he cleaned and stitched Geralt’s wound under his instructions. Geralt wouldn’t have been able to think of anything but Jaskier’s closeness if he had wanted to.

“Why on earth would I need to know how to do that?” Geralt said scowling, to the utter annoyance of Jaskier how groaned in exasperation.

“No, no no, don’t do that! That’s the exact opposite of what I told you to do. You should be smiling.”

“But why? Who cares if I smile?”

“I do. I-I mean, people at court do. You need to look pleasant and approachable if you want to charm anyone.”

“I don’t want to charm anyone.”

“Too late for that,” Jaskier muttered, quietly enough that Geralt was certain the words hadn’t been meant for him.

Still, Geralt scowled even harder, just to spite Jaskier and maybe, just maybe to make his own frown turn into a laugh.

“Geralt! Stop that this instant! Truly, sometimes I think you enjoy riling me up.” He threw his hands up in defeat. “This is it. You are a hopeless student. I’d have better luck teaching Roach how to behave at court. She definitely is more charming.”

Geralt couldn’t help it. His lips twitched up. “You’d have to bribe her.”

Jaskier snorted. “I’m already working on it. One day I’ll get her to eat that dreadful old cloak you insist on keeping.”

Jaskier looked dead serious and a by now familiar warmth spread through Geralt’s chest at Jaskier’s unconvincing scowl.

A snort of laughter left his mouth and in the blink of an eye Jaskier’s face softened.

“There it is,” he said in a tone Geralt couldn’t place. If he dared to let himself imagine, he would have called it fond. “You may never again say that you aren’t charming.”

“What on earth does this prove?” Jaskier panted as he tried to dodge yet another swing of Geralt’s fist aimed at his face.

“It should prove that you’d be able to defend yourself against bandits or at least hold your own in a bar fight.”

“Why would I -“ Jaskier ducked under a ridiculously slow punch that would have been truly embarrassing to get hit by, “need to do that?” He jumped backwards. “I can always talk myself out of trouble or – careful Geralt! – or you’d be there to save me. I don’t know why –“ his rant ended in a sharp cry as he stumbled over his own feet.

He let out an exaggerated grown when he hit the ground. Geralt was on him within a second, pinning his hands to the ground.

Jaskier huffed, his breath ghosting over Geralt’s face. He went still.

Geralt’s brows furrowed. “At least try to get out of my hold,” Geralt growled. “You need to be able to protect yourself. What if I’m not around?”

“Why wouldn’t you be?” Jaskier’s voice was strangely breathless. “Why would I go anywhere without you?”

Geralt froze.

For the first time it hit him just how close they were, with Geralt’s body practically pressing Jaskier’s into the ground. At some point, Geralt’s hair band had loosened and some strands of his hair had come free, framing his face and tickling Jaskier’s cheeks.

“Geralt?”

Geralt’s eyes followed the movement of Jaskier’s lips. The was so close. It would be so easy to just lean down and brush his lips against Jaskier’s. The feel of Jaskier’s body pressing up against him wasn’t enough anymore. Geralt’s heart was pounding in his chest and he wanted, he needed–

He had no time to think. No time to voice what he couldn’t even comprehend.

Because before he had the chance to do any of that, Jaskier leaned forward and breached the gap between them. He let out a soft noise that sounded almost like a sigh when they lips finally met.

Jaskier’s lips were soft and eager and they moved against Geralt’s as if he had been waiting to do this for a long time.

It took Geralt a moment to respond, but once the shock left him, he returned the kiss with just as much fervour. A low growl rose in his chest as he pressed impossibly closer against Jaskier.

His hands let go of Jaskier’s wrists, instead finding his hands and intertwining them.

Gently, Geralt bit into the softness of Jaskier’s lips, eliciting the sweetest sound from him. He felt Jaskier tug his hands free and Geralt let him, eager to feel Jaskier bury his fingers in his hair.

Instead, they pushed against him. Geralt let out a strangled groan when Jaskier broke the kiss and used Geralt’s surprise to throw his leg over Geralt and switch their positions.

Now he was leaning above Geralt, caging him in with his arms and giving him the biggest and smuggest look Geralt could imagine.

“Why…Jaskier, what…” He was unable to finish the sentence, wasn’t even sure what exactly it was that he wanted to ask. All he knew is that he needed to know. He needed this to not have been only a distraction.

“This, my dearest witcher,” Jaskier announced, leaning in close to Geralt; close enough that their breaths mingled and Jaskier’s fringe brushed Geralt’s skin. “Is a technique I am sure wasn’t taught in Kaer Morhen. The one type of battle you won’t be able to win against me.”

Geralt swallowed thickly. “What kind of battle?”

“Why, it’s called battling for dominance. With our tongues.”

“What?”

Jaskier rolled his eyes. “Kissing, Geralt. I’m obviously talking about kissing.”

“For a bard you have a terrible way of describing that.”

Jaskier huffed and Geralt could almost feel his smile against his lips. “Are you saying you’d be a better poet than me? Want to prove it to me?”

Geralt shook his head, his throat tight. One of his hands wandered up to Jaskier’s face, caressing his cheek. “I am much more interested which one of our tongues has won the battle.”

“Mine, obviously.” Jaskier grinned. “I have you pinned down, don’t I?”

“Hmm.” A smile stretched across Geralt’s face and he tilted his head just enough that his lips brushed against Jaskier’s with his next words. “Any yet I feel like I have won.”

Jaskier’s breath hitched. “I guess we’ll have to do it some more then. To determine which one is the winner.”

“Yeah,” Geralt agreed, his voice but a breath. “We should.”

As Geralt captured Jaskier’s lips with his own once more, he knew with a fierce certainty that neither of them would be proven a loser in this.

#i am so sorry #two things i never wanted to write:#detailed descriptions of kisses #and /that/ phrase #and yet here we are #geraskier #geraltxjaskier #geralt x jaskier #my writing #fic #fanfic #prompt #pining #witcher #witcher fic #i once again am too tired to edit this #writing>sleep>editing #geralt #jaskier

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dragqueenpentheus · 3 years ago

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hi mr spruce!!! since you recently graduated, i wanna ask about your university experience. anything you wanna share including tips for being chronically ill and managing time would be much appreciated!!!!

FOLDS MY HANDS. OKAY. HERES THE DEAL. IT WAS HELLISH. but also a really valuable thing in so many ways. i'm gunna make a lil numbered list of tips and thoughts an opinions bc time management while chronically ill is. NO joke.

honesty hour ask me anything!

1- art school is paying a LOT of money to get your heartbroken during critiques. it also pushes you to do art every single day. which is the best way to improve anything but ESPECIALLY art. i worked my ass off in second and fourth year especially. deciding if any degree is worth it is VERY hard. but i think particularly with art school when with discipline and outreach and research and life drawing nights can achieve. i knew i wasn't going to be able to rely on myself for ALL of that-- especially after my diagnosis. the world got bigger and scarier and the guidance was really needed in order to make any kind of growth. also i HAD to move out of my dads house i was NOT doing well. the change of city was a HUGE help

2- BE SO BLUNT AND HONEST WITH YOURSELF AND OTHERS ABOUT YOUR ABILITIES. jesus christ after realizing how easy it was to swallow pride and send a message asking about extensions and for help CHANGED how i interact with deadlines. when teachers or clients ask when you will be ready with your work. add a week. add a few days of only that's possible. don't feel guilty about being honest and saying i need to go the fuck to bed.

3- the instant i graduated i regretted not committing to one extracurricular and going for it. i think it's worth it. our program worked us VERY hard, but i personally wish i had found something to raise my confidence a little more. been more brazen and present and chasing things i was excited about. i should have gone to at least one knitting circle at my local yarn store.

4- bribe yourself and mean it. you have to earn your treat. BUT you can set your own parameters. if it's a hard day-- make the reward continual and after smaller tasks. couple of chips after doing a question . couple more after another one. but don't EVER chat on it bc ... then it's just too easy to cheat from that point on 😔

4- set little deadlines. use your phone calendar. set little alarms but name it things with emojis and endearments.

5- call yourself endearments. no more cruel words. call yourself sweetheart as you wash some blueberries for your post five questions snack.

6- try not to let resentment about a particular project or even your whole program creep in. be real but think about the things you love and are excited about in a particular project

7- talk to your student center. you can like. request better chairs in your classrooms. insane. i didn't know that for years. could be different school to school but??? most are not looking to get smeared for ableism on social media lmfao

8- little playlists helped me like crazy and continue to do so. especially school during the pandemic which is heartbreaking and lonely. the most valuable part of art school imo is the other artists you meet and grow with. having a whole year of that ripped away was GARBAGE and lonely af. RADIO. PLAYLISTS. TRADE PLAYLISTS WITH YOUR CLASSMATES. MAKE SPECIFIC VIBES ABOUT THE SILLIEST THINGS. I HAVE A PLAYLIST OF SONGS THAT ALL HAVE ANNA IN THE TITLE AND THATS ALL THEY HAVE IN COMMON. I HAVE A PLAYLIST OF SONGS THAT I WOULD SING IN MY COFFEE HOUSE REVENGE FANTASY. score your life and it'll become cinematic.

9- learn about REM cycles for powernaps. set a timer for ten minutes and stick to it. bribe yourself if you have to. it will help if you can't get a full night. take a bunch of forty min and wake up again. get back to it. call it if you have to. it's NOT a failure. it's a gesture of love and care.

10- just god work so hard on loving yourself and learning about the things you love. that's what life is FOR babe. putting moments you adore on the tip of your tongue and letting them melt. you are the PRIORITY. remember the world doesn't revolve around you or your self worth OR your achievements. your good days and your bad days weigh the same to the world. it's got to be you that takes the time to be soft with yourself and have your days matter. being chronically ill means that's a LOT of fucking work and you need a LOT of help. ask for it and give yourself it without shame, hesitancy or remorse.

11- granola bars and juice boxes. nuts. baby bell cheese. you are not going to have the energy after a full day of working to make yourself a real meal. keep some in your room (please not the cheese unless u have a mini fridge)

I LOVE YOU. i'm putting vibes out into the world for it to take care of you as well. stay safe. get a treat.

#reply #anon #irl #personal #i hope this is. hm legible and in anyway worthwhile and. NOT preachy #i learned this shit the hard way. and learning is different than internalizing #mostly this is a collection of lines i heard from other people that changed my life lmfao

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hecallsmehischild · 3 years ago

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Recent Media Consumed

Books

The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien. About ten or fifteen years ago, I tried to read this and was totally overwhelmed by it. I kept it around, hoping maybe someday I might be able to read it. I finally have, and here are my impressions: WHY SO MANY NAMES. WHY YOU HAVE TO NAME EVERYBODY, AND EVERY TRIBE OF PEOPLES, AND EVERY INANIMATE OBJECT, AND EVERY LANDSCAPE FEATURE. WHY. *ahem* So. I have a general comprehension of the events of The Silmarillion, but I dealt with it by doing what you do for an impressionist painting. I (mentally) stepped way back and let all the names flow by me, and if there were names that were repeated a lot, then I mentally attached appropriate plot points and character details to those names so I could track with who they were and what they were doing. And, actually, I found myself able to hang on and enjoy the book for the most part. This is going to lead into a re-reading of the Lord of the Rings books, since I haven’t read those in about as long…

The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien. I haven’t read some of these books since pre-teen years, with one required re-read of The Two Towers in high school (i.e. it’s been many an age since I’ve read these and my memory of the stories has been far more heavily influenced by the movies). In re-reading the first book, I was struck by the extreme tone shift for the Elves and Dwarves. Elves seem much closer to happy, mischievous fairies than these ethereal, solemn pillars of elegance and grace the movies show them to be. And Dwarves are far more bumbling and craftsmanlike than the movies show. Aside from that, The Hobbit was a pretty solid adaptation from the book, and the book also reminded me that this story was the first time I experienced “NO, MAIN CHARACTERS DON’T DIE, HOW DARE YOU,” and probably was the first book to make me cry. I must have been 8 or 10 years old. I FORGOT HOW MUCH THIS STORY INFLUENCED ME.

A Conflict of Visions by Thomas Sowell. I have a longer-than-usual list of things to say about this book. First is that it was just that level of difficult that I was struggling to understand while reading it (on Audible), but I think I got it. Sowell has several base concepts that I see repeated throughout his books, though he does like to dedicate whole books to specific aspects of the same topic. He is pretty damn thorough that way. So, for example, I would put this book in the middle of a three-book spectrum of similar concepts: Intellectuals and Society (most concrete and easiest to read), A Conflict of Visions (next-level abstraction, a little difficult to read), Knowledge and Decisions (root abstract concept, very difficult, I have not been able to get past chapter 2). The second thing I have to say is about a couple interesting concepts it proposes. Its whole point is to help readers understand the roots of two ways of seeing the world that come into severe conflict politically, and he calls them by their root titles: the constrained and the unconstrained visions. He traces the path of each back through the intellectuals that most spoke of them (tending to contrast Adam Smith with William Godwin and Condorcet). Though he leans heavily toward the constrained vision (based on reading his other works) he does his best to make this book an academic study of both, with both of the visions' strengths and flaws and reasoning and internal consistencies fairly laid out. In doing so, he helped me understand a few things that make this situation really difficult for people on opposing sides to communicate. One of them is that root words and concepts literally mean different things to different people. I had some vague notion of this before, but he laid out three examples in detail: Equality, Power, and Justice. It was kind of astounding to see just how differently these three words can be defined. It makes me think that arguing about any specific issues rooted in these concepts is fruitless until first an understanding has been reached on terms, because otherwise two parties are endlessly talking past each other. Another really interesting idea he brought up is the existence of “hybrid visions” and he named both Marxism and Fascism as hybrid visions. This was especially fascinating to me because I have seen the accusation of “Nazi” flung around ad nauseam and I wondered how it was that both sides were able to fling it at each other so readily. Well, it’s because Fascism is actually a hybrid vision, so both sides have a grain of truth but miss the whole on that particular point. In any case, this was a little difficult to read but had some fascinating information. For people who are wondering what on earth this gap is between political visions, how on earth to bridge the gap, or why the gap even exists in the first place, this is a really informative piece.

Movies

The Hobbit & Fellowship trilogies (movies). I mean, it’s definitely not my first watch, not even my second. But I went through it with Sergey this time and that means the run-time is double because we pause to talk and discuss details. This watch came about partly due to Sergey’s contention that Gandalf’s reputation far outstrips his actual powers, so we ended up noting down every instance of Gandalf’s power to see if that was true. Conclusion: Gandalf is actually a decently powerful wizard, but tends to use the truly kickass powers in less-than-dire circumstances. That aside, this movie series was always a favorite for me. I rated The Hobbit trilogy lower the first time I saw it but, frankly, all together the six movies are fantastic and a great way to sink deep into lore-heavy fantasy for a while. And I’m catching way more easter-egg type details after having read the Silmarillion so it’s even more enjoyable. (finally, after about a week of binge-watching) I forgot how much this story impacted me. I forgot how wrenchingly bittersweet the ending is. I forgot how much of a mark that reading and watching this story left on my writing.

Upside-Down Magic. Effects were good. Actors were clearly having fun and enjoying everything. Story didn’t make enough sense for my taste, but it was a decent way to kill flight time.

Wish Dragon. So, yes, it’s basically an Aladdin rewrite, but it’s genuinely a cheesy good fluff fest that made me grin a whole lot.

Plays

Esther (Sight and Sound Theatres). < background info > This is my third time to this theatre. There are only two of these in existence and they only run productions of stories out of the Bible. The first time I went I saw a production of Noah, the second time I saw a production of Jesus. My middle sister has moved all the way out to Lancaster, PA in hopes of working at this theatre. My husband and I came out to visit her. < /background info > So. Esther. They really pulled out all the stops on the costumes and set. I mean, REALLY pulled out all the stops. And the three-quarters wrap-around stage is used to great effect. I tend to have a general problem of not understanding all the words in the songs, but I understood enough. I highly recommend sitting close to the front for immersive experiences. This theatre puts on incredible productions and if you ever, ever, EVER have the opportunity to go, take it. Even if you think it's nothing but a bunch of fairy tales, STILL GO. I doubt you'll ever see a fairy tale produced on another stage with equal dedication to immersion.

Shows

The Mandalorian (first two seasons). Well. This was pretty thoroughly enjoyable. It felt very Star-Wars, and I’d kind of given up after recent movies. Felt like it slipped into some preaching toward the end? Not sure, I could be overly sensitive about it, but I enjoyed this a lot (though I did need to turn to my housemate and ask where the flip in the timeline we were because I did NOT realize that the little green kid IS NOT ACTUALLY Yoda).

Games

Portal & Portal 2. Portal is probably the first video game I ever tried to play, back when I had no idea what I was doing. Back then, I attempted to play it on my not-for-gaming Mac laptop. Using my trackpad. Once the jumping-for-extra-velocity mechanic came into play, I just about lost my mind trying to do this with a trackpad and gave up. Later I returned to the game and played it with my then-boyfriend on a proper gaming computer. Now, after having played several games and gotten better at "reading the language" of video games, I decided I wanted to see if I could beat the Portal games by myself. Guess what. I BEAT 'EM. Yes, I remembered most of the puzzles in Portal so that's a little bit of a cheat, but I'd say a good 2/3 of Portal 2 was new puzzles to me. It is crazy how proud I feel of myself that I could beat Portal 2, especially. Learning how to play video games at this age has really knocked down the lie, "You can't learn anything." Though I still suck at platformers and games that require precision. Since I find those types frustrating, I probably won't be playing many. Games are about enjoyment, so I'll push myself a little, but not to the point where I can't stand what I'm playing.

The Observer. I like the concept and the art but I don't think I could keep trying to play this game. It's really depressing. My in-game family members all died of illness or accident or committed suicide. I also kept getting executed by the state. In order to keep us all alive I'd have to do pretty terrible things that I have a hard enough time contemplating even in a fictional setting.

Baba Is You. Fun and interesting concept, but I got stuck pretty early on. Don't think I want to push as hard on this one.

#recent media consumed #n00b gamer child #child loves books #child loves movies #child loves shows

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tthankstoyou · 3 years ago

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Assign glee characters songs from Taylor's Red album if you want. It can be because you'd think they'd sound good or because it just fits

Ahhhh thank you so much for this ask!!!! I literally love this ask so much, answering it was a lot of fun💖💖💖

I didn’t give every glee character a song & I gave a few people/ships multiple songs. Also! I hope you don’t mind that I added a few non-canon ships <3

I put everything under the cut since it got hella long, it’s hard for me to shut up sometimes 😳

• State of Grace: I feel like this is a really good Finchel duet. Finn and Rachel loved each other so much and left a lasting impact on each other’s lives (especially Rachel). I can see them singing this after Rachel heals from from their s4 breakup (so Finn’s still alive). Hmmmm I’m thinking they sing this at the failed Wemma wedding when they reunite.

• Red: Ok get this, Pezberry duet after their s5 fight (but like a romantic relationship, not platonic). But like when they’re at the stage before they make up & they realize how much they miss each other. They switch the male pronouns for female ones tho.

• Treacherous: This doesn’t fit any storylines for her, but I think Santana would sound beautiful if she sang this song. I don’t know any singing terms, so stick with me here. I think that Santana should’ve sung more soft songs (you know, like ‘Songbird’) & I think ‘Treacherous’ would’ve utilized how soft her voice can sound, but also how powerful it can be. Like since the song goes from slow paced and builds up to something faster and more powerful (this prob makes no sense)

• I Knew You Were Trouble: Quinn sings this after she see’s that Puck was s/exting Santana at their sleepover! She was ready to raise a baby with this man even though she knew about his reputation. Quinn thinks that she should’ve known better, but it’s too late for that and now her heart has been ripped out of her chest.

• All Too Well: Kurt sings this after Blaine tells Kurt that he cheated. I think he should sing this in the breakup episode when he should be sleeping, but his thoughts are keeping him up. Like how he tells Finn that he barely slept. I think Kurt singing this would be kind of like why Taylor wrote it, he’s trying to understand where and why everything went wrong.

• 22: I would LOVE for Madison and Kitty to sing this during the party in Rachel’s basement in s6. I chose that pairing since they all had to sing duets in that episode and I would kill to hear those girls sing a song together. Also I can totally see everyone having a great time on the dance floor, kind of like how everyone was partying during ‘Somebody Loves You.’ I think this would be a good song to keep the energy up.

• I Almost Do: I want Marley to sing this so bad. Not for any particular reason, I just think it would go really well with her voice.

• We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: (Jarley endgame my beloved BUT) Marley sings this after her breakup with Jake. I think she’d sing this after she opens her locker and a whole bunch of flowers that Jake put in there fall out. She’s starting to get fed up with Jake begging for her to come back & she decides that the best way to get her feelings across is to sing this song to him in the middle of glee club.

• Stay Stay Stay: I don’t have a specific situation I want her to sing this in, but I think Tina would sound AMAZING on this song. Like it’s such a fun song & I can so see her singing it because it’s underrated just like her.

• The Last Time: Rachel sings this when she’s on her way back to Lima in the breakup episode to talk to Finn.

• Holy Ground: I feel like this would be SUCH a good song for Mercedes about her relationship with Sam. Like she’s being her pop star self and sees something that reminds her of Sam while on tour. She’s filled with nothing but good memories. She’ll always have love for him in her heart. AND omg the line “And I see your face now in every crowd” because Sam was her biggest fan and always will be.

• Sad Beautiful Tragic: This would be a good song for Blaine to sing after the s4 Klaine breakup. Like I think this would fit perfectly w/ how the song is about how distance tore them apart in the long run. The whole bridge fits their situation so well, especially the lines “Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting / Silence, the train runs off its tracks / Kiss me, try to fix it, could you just try to listen?”

• The Lucky One: This song is deadass about Rachel. It would be wrong to assign it to anyone that isn’t her. Like she was a star who moved to L.A. to make her name even bigger. She quickly learned though that Hollywood life wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be. She had to leave town to save face. Here are some lines that fit perfectly imo: “You had it figured out since you were in school” & “And they still tell the legend of how you disappeared / How you took the money and your dignity, and got the hell out”

• Everything Has Changed: I feel like this would be a super cute Hevans duet. I have no real explanation, I just want them to sing this soooo bad... maybe during duets week...

• Starlight: This would be such a fun group number at the end of an episode. I want the leads for this song to be Artie, Tina, and Unique. I think they'd make this number a lot of fun and I would love to hear the three of their voices in a song together.

• Begin Again: Quinn sings this song about the first girl she dates, mainly because there's nothing more gay than meeting someone in a cafe. The other man that she’s comparing the person she’s with to symbolizes all the men she’s dated. The line "I've been spending the last eight months / Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end” is about how Quinn isn’t the best at relationships. All she wants is to be loved, but she hurts everyone she’s with. But with this girl, it’s like none of that matters.

• The Moment I Knew: Kitty sings this about Artie when he forgets about her while she’s in New York. I don’t think it would fit any specific canon event, but I can imagine something similar to the song happening to them & Kitty just knowing that this was the end.

• Come Back...Be Here: Brittany sings this because of how she wants nothing more than Santana to be there with her. Like she said before they broke up that she feels like she’s suffocating with Santana & I think that this song would help Brittany convey how she feels.

• Girl At Home: I don’t know why, but I want Artie to sing this. I just think he’d have fun with it.

#barely any of the boys got songs... sorryyyyy #not proofreading this since it got so long #asks #nonny

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filliteapot · 4 years ago

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I'm going to use this part of what you said in a previous answer that made me really curious "the way of the authors to tell the story is another matter" to know your top 5 (or ~10) of that :)

Ah :D I guess the easier way to put it would be “This time I chose my favourite styles basing on art style mostly, but if I were to choose my fav storytelling/mix of art and how authors tells it/what they want to transmit, the odrer/the list would be different” :”) So some authors/stories on the list of my fav storytelling (not sure if it's the right term for what i mean but let's use this) are the same I put in the previous list. The titles and authors won’t be surprise for you, but I’ll list them anyway. Warning: I love talking about such things a lot, so I suddenly wrote a lot.

(Ask me my top 5-10 anything)

1. Literally anything by Takaya Natsuki. You have no idea how #tired I am of all the discussions about both adaptations of her Furuba (which is better which is worse no listen to me bc I Have an Opinion of High Authority) when not a single adaptation quite got her style in storytelling, foreshadowing and especially presenting her characters’ personal drama. I think I espcially love her for not throwing it all in your face right away, being careful at hinting at things (so that you don’t quite get some parts of the characters’ thoughts and inner struggles until you learn the facts and it hits you) and for leaving you some space to use your own brain what you think about this or that storyline. (Tamura Yumi does it too which makes her my second fave author). Also, years after reading and rereading her works I see better how storylines are entwinted and unfolding, and it still makes me yell “HOW does she do it” every time I go back to Furuba and her other works and see something new. I love her Hoshi wa Utau (which hits hard and is painfully real in the matter of parents/children’s conflicts), and Liselotte to majo no mori (darkish fairytale with hopeful messages) and wish more people knew about them too, not only Furuba.

2. Kouno Fumiyo’s Yunagi no Machi Sakura no Kuni. I first read this manga a long time ago and was dying of happiness when it got published in my country bc oh my gosh. It’s a historical thing, it’s a heavy thing, she does have such unique style (my first thought was ”ah looks cute, like children books illustrations” and then it killed me) and approach to place panels on pages or transitions between scenes or past and present (I think some comic researcher or smth even called it innovative). The page that struck me the most was a spread near the end of this story, presenting a character in his older years sitting on the beach of a river in Hiroshima and him in the same place right after the war. Perhaps it doesn’t sound so original but this work and these two pages live rent free in my soul to this day.

3. Ando Yuki’s oneshots (and Machida-kun). She is my favourite short stories author, she just knows how to tell it so that I got tuned in from the start. Be it a school slice of life or basically Edith Piaf’s song Hymne à l'amour presented in the form of manga oneshot, they give me immense joy. And oh, there’s almost always a twist near the ending I can’t predict. Her characters act a bit weird and take weird decisions sometimes but I think it’s what makes them feel so real to me.

And it’s cheating, but while I’m talking about oneshots, I want to mention Midorikawa Yuki and her shorter-than-Natsume stories. Because they give me a similar feeling to Ando’s oneshots - the atmosphere is different, but the way they touch my heart is the same. Don’t get me wrong, I love Natsume and its structure (main characters and their personal jouney through unrelated stories of other people/not humans), but I love Midorikawa’s shorter stories much more.

4. Takamatsu Misaki’s Skip to Loafer. One of the best slice stories I’ve ever read. Right amount of drama and comedy, a cast of characters with different problems and motivations. I can’t help but think “Oh I wish I were able to create a story like this one day”. Also, someone wrote about it: “let me live the wholesome high school life i didnt have” and ugh I felt it :”))

5. Yazawa Ai’s stories: Nana and Gokinjo Monogatari. Did “Nee, Nana” moments kill my soul every time it was used in the story? Yes, absolutely. Did it make me cry? Don’t even ask.

6. Nishi Keiko’s stories: Otoko no Isshou, Koi to Gunkan. A person I know described her stories like this: “If life goes the wrong way, it’s better to go home”, and I think it sums it up. Both of the stories I listed are about ordinary life in small towns, they both me melancholic and somehow cozy feeling. Both stories have themes and characters that don’t really interest me much, but when I read them, I usually cry. It’s another A+ slice of life author imo.

7. Tsukuba Sakura’s Mekakushi no Kuni. It’s dear to me for special reasons. There a girl who sometimes sees future when touches other people, there is a boy who sees the past all the time he does the same, there’s another boy... And NO evil organizations chasing them for their superpowers, NO global plots or problems or author’s will to condemn society, no deep philosophy questions about time and so on. Just normal slice of life of not so normal peoplewho try to cope with this particularity they have and fit the world they live in. (I wish authors realized the potential of such slice of life centered urban fantasy but they keep failing me aiming at the Global, sigh)

8. Torino Nanko’s Toripan. It’s basically authors essays on her daily life and mostly birdwatching, but ugh it’s so good. Peak comedy about birds and heartfelt pages for when she speaks about her memories or remarks on nature, it’s so full of love towards this world and life. After I read Toripan I feel like I become kinder and better :DD

(author’s A+ faces and haiku about sparrows in the winter)

9. Watanuki Yoshiko’s Manatsu no Delta. I read it some time ago and my first thought was “Wow, this IS how you touch an unpleasant yet existing problem”. I’ll certainly be waiting for this author’s other works.

10. Ikuemi Ryo’s stories, especially the ones featuring metaphorical ghosts (Kiyoku Yawaku, Torch Song Ecology) and Taiyou ga Mite Iru. Joseis with ghosts are my fave thing on earth, and Ikuemi’s great at it. But she can make any theme totally worth digging into, be it school life or cheating and complicated family relationships. I think TGM is her work that left the deepest trace in my soul because I was reading it when it was ongoing, for three years, and it’s basically just something that makes you die slowly looking at how not so bad people fk up their life decisions bc of their unresolved traumas and issues but you can’t take your eyes of it and then need several years of therapy after reading such manga. And she doesn’t even preech or say you should not live like this. She’s like “this is a life story I want to tell, take whatever you want from it” and I’m like “gooosh this is so painful and looks so real and makes me feel things, I love it”. Ikuemi Power as it is. (Life teaches me nothing, I lowkey want to read something like TGM again and Akaneda Yuki’s Saraba Yoki Hi fulfills this wish of mine, but uh I’m so glad it’s rarely updated)

(text: Nire is here to kill me)

Thanks for such ask, it was fun :D

#replies #flowerymoments #ask memes

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stanfordsweater · 3 years ago

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@zmediaoutlet tagged me in this music ask meme, thank you thank you!

i’m tagging every single person reading this, because i’m evil. tag me in it so i can see yours! clean copy at the bottom.

1. the last song you listened to: no sugar in my coffee by caught a ghost (very nice example of what i’m listening to recently, slow indie-rock/alt-rock songs with heavy bass)

2. the last song you put on repeat: low lays the devil by the veils (and i ripped adobe premier so i can make a sam vid for it 🙈) actually shit i’m lying! i was listening to the spins by mac miller in the car earlier. oh well, the first one is staying because it’s really good.

3. a song that reminds you of your childhood: when the night feels my song by bedouin soundclash. ....also crabbuckit by k-os

4. a song from your favorite movie: hm... not my favourite movie, but one that i watched and loved a little while back: saturday night blues by natural child from the movie palm springs!! so good, highly recommend, very fresh take on the time loop premise

5. a song that reminds you of your favorite character: oh i blew this with the sam song up above. well, the ultimate sam song for me is border (ch. iii) by lewis del mar. each verse feels like a distinct part of sam’s arc and i have an edit cooking for it

6. a song that reminds you of someone important to you: baby boy by mother mother reminds my of my sister

7. a song that makes you want to get up and dance: anything by the happy fits, but especially two of many! they have a lot of really upbeat poppy songs that are awesome for cleaning to (i have broken many a glass by hip checking it while doing dishes and dancing)

8. a song that makes you cry: once an addict by j. cole. i’m cheating and adding the entirety of the sunset tree album by the mountain goats as well, because i set aside a night every year to just sob over it and so it deserves a mention!

9. put a playlist on shuffle and add the first song that comes up: put on my playlist for driving and i got late show by the beaches. i actually know a guy who went to high school with a couple of the band members, which is hilarious because he’s my friend’s boyfriend and the first time i met him was a camping trip that i wore one of their hoodies to! small fucking world. this also doubles as a song that always makes me dance, so let’s pretend i answered this for that one up above

10. a song that you relate to: i’m not part of me by the cloud nothings; i don’t really feel this one anymore, but i listened to this band + this particular song over and over during a bad time in my life two years ago and it’ll forever be one of my faves.

11. a song that’s important to you for any reason: god, so many. my dad was a dj when i was growing up, so i’ve always filtered my feelings through music... i guess i’ll say mr. jones by counting crows. it’s such a good song for screaming with your windows down. another one is kept down by mother mother, but specifically the acoustic version i linked.

clean version:

1. the last song you listened to:

2. the last song you put on repeat:

3. a song that reminds you of your childhood:

4. a song from your favorite movie:

5. a song that reminds you of your favorite character:

6. a song that reminds you of someone important to you:

7. a song that makes you want to get up and dance:

8. a song that makes you cry:

9. put a playlist on shuffle and add the first song that comes up:

10. a song that you relate to:

11. a song that’s important to you for any reason:

#.txt #about

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eberles · 4 years ago

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i hate u, i love u

Rafe Cameron

(gif by @toesure :)

Request: A Rafe fic based on the song “I hate u, I love you” by gnash (ft Olivia O’Brien) PLEASE MAJOR RAFE VIBES 🥺💖 @fav-imagines

A/N: I wanted to cry writing this lol idk why but it hit me right in the feels!! it’s kind of all over the place, if anyone is confused by, don’t worry bc i am too!!!! lol anyways enjoy!! (this is probably the first thing ive ever written that goes with rafe’s character) bold = lyrics, italics = flashbacks

Warnings: angst, mentions of drugs, cheating, lying, toxic relationship, swearing

feelin used, but im still missin you and i cant see the end of it just wanna feel your kiss against my lips and now all this time is passing by, but i still cant seem to tell you why it hurts me every time i see you, realize how much i need you

I’ve spent months sitting in my room staring at the ceiling, and at the walls. I did a full Bella Swan from New Moon and let 3 months go by without being present for any of them. I didn’t care honestly...Even after spending all that time alone, i’m not still not healed from the heartache that was caused by him. I still miss him, his scent, his kisses, his clothes, everything. Rafe.

I went out once and he was the last person I wanted or planned to see, but of course, he was the only person I actually saw. Sure, there were other people around, but none of them mattered. Everyone else felt greyed out except for him. He was the only light I could see in those short moments. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion, my breath hitched in my throat and it felt like there was no air left to breathe.

After months it still hurts to see him again. It hurts because I realized I still need him even after everything. I hate him. So why do I love him? The feeling of him being the only one I want, the one nobody could ever replace...it’s overwhelming and I can’t seem to shake it. But me? He replaced. It looked like it was easy from my point of view. He needed her, wanted her, and i’m not her.

i miss you when i can’t sleep or right after coffee or right when i can’t eat, i miss you in my front seat, still got sand in my sweaters from nights we don’t remember. do you miss me like i miss you? fucked around and got attached to you.

My head was consumed on thoughts of you. It was constant. Like the leaky faucet in the bathroom or the loose floorboard. Always running, always broken. I miss you. Maybe you’ll come around, but for now...I wish you were here instead. When it’s late and I can’t sleep, I think about you. When it’s early and I can’t eat, I think about you.

“Where are we going?” you giggled excitedly, grabbing my hand from across the console in my truck.

“Shh, I told you it’s a surprise baby, we’re almost there anyways.” I laughed at her giggling like a kid, she had so much excitement in her eyes. She was always ready for anything, even if it was 2 in the morning and I love that about her. I love everything about her.

“Ugh fine!” she groaned dramatically and rolled her eyes in a full circle looking up at the ceiling. “Why are we at the beach?” you didn’t even give me enough time to answer before jumping out of the truck and running towards the sand laughing the entire way to the water. Once I caught up with you, I grabbed your hands and pulled you close into my chest, kissing your forehead. When we broke apart I laid down a few blankets on the sand, noticing you were cold, I also gave you my sweater.

We stared at the stars and talked about anything and everything for hours. It felt magical. We stayed until the sun came up, watching the sunset before driving back to my house for some much needed rest.

Walking over to my closet, curious to know if that same sweater ended up back in my closet after that night. I reached in, digging around not finding anything and decided to look in my dresser instead. Of course, it was folded neatly in the drawer you used to call yours. Grabbing and shaking it out I noticed the light pieces of sand that fell from it. I brought it in to my nose wondering if it still smelt like your perfume. It did. I’m always tired lately, but never of you. Do you miss me too?

if i pulled a you on you, you wouldn’t like that shit, i put this reel out, but you wouldn’t bite that shit. i type a text then i never mind that shit, i got these feelings, but you never mind that shit. you’re still in love with me but your friends don’t know.

To Y/N: i wanna talk, i think...maybe i miss y-

*delete*

To Rafe: I miss you so much, it hurt someti-

*delete*

“Y/N...what’s going on? You’re off in never never land! Do you still miss him?” Kiara asked, gently shaking my knee to gain my attention back to the group. I looked at her and around at the rest of the pogues and put a smile on my face, shaking my head.

“Of course not, it’s been months! I’m so over him, guys. Besides even if I did, it wouldn’t matter.” I tried so hard to sound confident. I hope they bought it. Of fucking course, I miss Rafe. I’m still in love with him for gods sake. I hate that I want him.

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Sure, i’ve moved on, but I think about y/n, just about everyday. I guess for me, moving on is finding someone new, but not actually wanting anyone new. I just couldn’t bare to be alone anymore with my thoughts. I deserve better than that, personally.

“Anyways Topper, if y/n wanted me still, she would say so right?” I looked at Topper, silently hoping he would lie to me, just tell me what I want to hear, man. “If I were her, I would’ve never let me go. She’s missing out.”

“Hell yea, dude! That’s the right attitude.” Topper said, jumping up to high five me. Of course, that was the statement he was on board with. I hate that I want you.

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I haven’t been to a party in months, Kiara and Sarah thought that this would be the most fitting post-break up activity for me. Maybe meet a new guy or something. I tuned out when they were telling me about it and just agreed. What I neglected to listen to, was that it was a kook party. So now, i’m at a party alone, since my friends ditched me to dance with each other. And on top of that, I watch him watch her, like she’s the only girl he’s ever seen.

It took less than an hour of being at this party for us to end up in a room alone together.

“You don’t care! You never did!” Rafe shouted, running his hands through his hair, clearly exasperated with this conversation. I don’t even know how it started. One minute I was watching him with another girl, and the next he was hauling me off, away from everyone.

“You don’t give a damn about me, Rafe! How is it you never notice that you’re slowly killing me?” you wanted to yell back at him, to scream at him for putting you through this again, but you couldn’t. He didn’t say anything in return so you continued, “I hate you, and I hate that I love you, Rafe.” I’ve tried to move on, but even the simple thought of dating anyone but him, makes me physically ill. Why does it have to be like this?

“I don’t mean no harm, I just miss you on my arm, babe. Do you ever wonder what we could’ve been y/n?” He’s taunting me by asking dumb questions, as if I wanted this to happen, as if i’m the cause of all of this. Rafe’s the one that was closed off, not me. Of course, he switches the stories and i’m sure everyone at this damn party thinks I left him heart broken.

“You have a girlfriend, why are you even asking me that?” I was starting to get angry, I felt like he was toying with me.

He’s laughing. Of fucking course, he’s laughing at me. This is all one big fucking joke to him. “Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix. Isn’t that what you always told your friends Rafe?” I was furious, how could he act that way after everything? He’s still a child though, that will never change.

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You were right. I did lie to you, multiple times. About where I was, who I was with, what I was doing. I didn’t want you to know I was such a fuck up. You didn’t deserve the pain of finding out I was lying and cheating and drugging. You did anyways though. Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed.

“Rafe! Come dance with me!” I downed the rest of my drink before throwing the glass down and walking away from the new girl I was seeing. I didn’t care anymore.

I don’t want you, Y/N. I shouldn’t fucking miss you. I don’t deserve to! Seeing you again is such bullshit. If you wouldn’t have shown up here, I wouldn’t have said those things to you. Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges, just to create some distance. You didn’t deserve that, I knew it, but at least now you might learn your lesson and stay away. It’s for the best, right?

I hate that I love her, but I can’t put nobody else above her.

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I wasn’t sure if I had the closure I needed, but after that particular conversation with Rafe I felt a little better. I returned to the party with my head held high and danced with my friends. I hoped he was watching me too since i’m not sure what he was trying to do by joking around at my expense. But maybe if he thinks it didn’t bother me he will know how it fucking feels.

I learned from my dad that it’s good to have feelings when love and trust is gone. I guess this is moving on. I hate you, I love you.

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#outer banks #rafe cameron #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron blurb #rafe cameron x reader #drew starkey #drew starkey imagine #outer banks imagine

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lostbutterflyutau · 4 years ago

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Adrianna’s Top Ten Carla Delgado Moments

So, I was asked for a list of my top Carla moments by @lerakonfetka15 and decided to do a basic “top ten” style list. I apologise for the time it took to compile this list, but here are my top Carla moments in no particular order.

1. Carla is a secret romantic

Okay, saying that is mostly projecting my own headcanon onto her, but when you contrast this scene to the one from Rise of the Sorceress where she scoffed after Elena told the story of the Sunflower festival, you see that Carla does have a hidden romantic side. Maybe she’s not into those cheesy legends, or perhaps just wanted to save face, but when she sees what she perceives to be the real, true love between her parents, she’s beyond happy, which tells me that, despite her tough front, there might be a little bit of a romantic in her.

2. Crushies

I know it doesn’t go anywhere from this point, but I can’t help but find this moment cute. The idea of Carla outwardly showing romantic interest in someone for non-manipulative purposes is adorable and flows nicely with the previous mention of her being a secret romantic.

3. Way Back When

This whole sequence is almost everything I ever wanted for Carla from day one. I actually have a headcanon that, while she’s a great helper, Carla is still quite impatient when it comes to the cooking process. That being said, seeing that Carla is actually her Papa’s little kitchen helper was an adorably pleasant surprise. They’ve clearly been cooking together for a long time and the whole sequence speaks well to the bond that they have with each other. Smaller smol Carla is adorable and, combined with the song, the scene gives a tiny, but nicely-structured insight into Carla’s childhood and the not-so-subtle soft spot Victor has always had for her.

4. Happy Claps and Family Time

Carla’s happy clap is everything. The fact that she’s so excited to have her family back together that she openly shows it is a major step in the unravelling of her layered character in canon. Up until this point, we knew Carla had her moments and soft spots deep down, but here, that soft spot is put on full display as she revels in just being with both her parents again. If I remember right, it’s also the first episode she doesn’t show any sign of the anger or annoyance she usually uses to mask her emotions.

5. Nosy Smol

Small, silent and the best scene in the episode “Sister of Invention.” There’s not much to say about this one except that Carla is so pure here and I love it. She just wants to be involved and included and is so curious.

6. Wanted Posters

This early moment is a funny and adorable show of Carla’s vanity. It’s not wholly innocent given that she’s talking about wanted posters, but I’m amused by the idea that, even if it’s related to criminal activity, she wants to be seen as important. Like in the previous moment, she wants to be included and I think it’s precious and speaks to her ambition of wanting to be her own version of someone special.

7. In the Snow

“Snow Place Like Home” was the episode where Victor’s care and affection for Carla was put on full display. It was always there before, but is made more obvious here. The same is true of Carla. The way that she looks at her father and snuggles into him signifies the deep trust and love she has for the father who stepped up and raised her alone for over a decade. Up until this point in the series, while we were given hints, we had never seen Carla be affectionate and vulnerable like this with anyone, even her father.

8. Standing up for Papa

By this point, Carla being a “Daddy’s Girl” was something that was established, but Victor being gone puts emphasis on both this fact and Ash’s narcissism. The whole time she’s alone with Ash, Carla never forgets about her father. She’s constantly asking when they’re going to rescue him and even mouths of to Zopilote because of it. It’s a wonderful show of her determination as well. We’d seen it before, such as when she went after the Jewel of Maru and stood up to Shuriki by demanding she keep her promise, but this time it’s channeled into something that hits her on a deeper level than her desire for respect and power.

9. Carla Stands Up and then Concedes

I struggled to choose between these two scenes, so I’m cheating and putting them together, in part because the same event leads to both. Carla standing up to Ash is powerful. Not only is her mother a power-addicted narcissist whom she is shown to be afraid of on some level, but she put her mother on such a high pedestal and vied so hard for her approval. Here, the cracked image she was starting to form of the mother she looked up to is finally shattered and she stays true to herself and her family by sticking with her father – the one constant in her life and man who raised her. Following this, her turning herself in and even begging Elena to reverse the spell on her father marks a significant on-screen point in Carla’s character growth. After losing everything she has, instead of turning back to anger and revenge, she concedes. She accepts her circumstances and focuses on what is important – freeing her father and making amends with the person she hurt.

10. Escaping the Moyacu

This is a big moment for two reasons. The first is that it happens after Carla confronts Elena regarding her reluctance to give her a chance even when they could really use the help. Despite the anger she shows – which, if you watch her facial expressions, comes out due to her fear for her father more than anything else – she has a point and, once she calms down and Elena sees both her willingness to help and Victor struggling on his own, she gives Carla that chance. Carla then uses the opportunity to not only do good but ends up showing off a decent amount power in the process. Seriously. If one looks at the amount of magic she uses throughout, it’s obvious (at least to me) that she has some major magic, and that Ash was right about her having natural talent.

#Elena of Avalor #Carla Delgado #Top moments #top ten #ask

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makecableboyfriendoffical · 3 years ago

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Blame it on the alcohol ( working title)

Beom-Pal really hated his life sometimes. Maybe hate is too strong of a word, but that’s how he felt tonight. He had a rough day at work (more like month) thinking his luck had changed when his cousin Cho Beom-il actually agreed to go out with him. Beom-pal should have known that it was too easy. They were only two drinks in and his cousin bailed on him because his fuck buddy called. So of course, when this particular fuck buddy called Beom-il drops everything (including to his knees Beom-pal thinks bitterly of his cousin).

Now here he is alone drinking by himself looking extremely pathetic even for him. Well, if Beom-pal was going to drink by himself, he might as well drink at home. Just as he was about to signal the bartender that he wanted to pay his tab, feeling a hand on his shoulder. “Can I buy you a drink?” a voice asked. Beom-pal turned around very quickly because he never got ask to be bought a drink. He tried to be the pursuer but gave up after being shot down one too many times. To his surprise it was Min Chi Rook, Lee Chang’s second-best friend (Seo-bi held first no questions asked). Min Chi-Rok and Lee Chang were usually joined at the hip when out on the town.

“Hello Min Chi Rok. What a surprise to see you. I can’t believe that you are here alone.” Beom-pal commented.

Min Chi-Rok laughed and shook his head answers “I was supposed to meet Lee Chang but something happened so he owes me a raincheck.” Beom-pal just nods he as three guesses on what came up for him to bail on his friend.

“You didn’t answer my question. Can I buy you a round of drinks?” Min Chi-Rok asks again

“Sure, why the hell not. I’ve got nothing to lose. Beom-pal answers. He signals the bartender Two more of these and put it on his tab.” Pointing to Min Chi-Rok. The bartender just nods and gets to work on the drinks.

“Why do I feel like it’s going to be some bougie drink?” Min Chi- Rok says as he takes stool next Beom-pal.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Beom-pal ask knowing full well what he means.

“Somehow no one in your family strikes me as just a beer crowd.” Min Chi-Rok remarks

Beom-pal is about to make a witty comeback when the bartender comes back with two drinks. Min Chi-Rok at this point as raised one eyebrow because the drinks are a slight rose color with very pink sugar encrusting the rim.

“What? Who says one cannot enjoy the finer things in life.” Beom-pal says as he grabs a glass putting it to his lips.

“What exactly is this finer thing anyway?” Min Chi-Rok ask as he picks up the other glass to inspect, now he can see raspberries floating.

“This my dear friend is a raspberry royale.” Beom-pal says as if that explains everything.

“Again, what is this?” Min Chi-Rok repeated

“This is champagne, raspberry liquor with of course fresh raspberry. Topped off with sanding sugar to finish the effect.” Beom-pal answered. Taking sip at his drink. Poor Min Chi-Rok was still eyeing the drink suspiciously.

“After this round, I’m going to show my drink of choice.” Min Chi-Rok said Beom-pal just nodded in agreement. They were only going to have maybe two drinks and be on their merry way.

Beom-pal is leading a very buzzed Min Chi-Rok to his apartment a few hours later. As he fumbles with his keys to open door, wonders how they got here. Well after having the “bougie” drink, Min Chi-Rok order some foreign beer he’s never heard of. Beom-pal can’t be outdone so he orders them lemon drop martini. Then Min Chi-Rok orders them two rounds of whiskey. Here is where things start to get a bit fuzzy around the edges. Downing the shots like a pro, he states that Min Chi-Rok cheated by ordering two rounds at the same time. Min Chi-Rok argues that two shots are about the equivalent of one drink, Beom-pal tries to argue why he disagrees with this. They must have been getting loud because the bartender announces that he’s cutting them off and offer to call them a riding service.

Beom-pal scoffs at this and pulls out his phone to start dialing his car service. Well technically it’s Lee Chang, who is always saying the Beom-pal should use it more often. they spill into the SUV that was called. Min Chi-Rok said he wasn’t done drinking when the drive asks where they were going. Seeing that it’s almost 2am and for some reason he doesn’t want to share Min Chi-Rok with anyone else tonight. So, he gives the driver the address to his apartment and tells Min Chi-Rok that he has scotch that he has to try.

Once in the apartment Beom-pal directs Min Chi-Rok to the couch in his while he pours the scotch. He drops a single cube of ice into their glasses and walk towards the couch. Min Chi-Rok grabs the glass and immediately starts to sip. Beom-pal thinks he hears a comment about of course the scotch is also sweet. The place is too quiet and Beom-Pal reaches forward and starts fishing around in the basket that’s on the table. After about the third remote, he pulls out the one he wanted. Pretty soon there is poppy club music filling the room. He can see Min Chi Rok eyebrows slightly raise up. Beom-Pal doesn’t care, its his place and he can put on any music he damn well pleases. Beom-Pal sips his drink and slowly swings his shoulders to the rhythm, awaiting the snide remark from Min Chi Rok.

“Well, I never thought I would spend my evening with a scotch and club music.” Min Chi Rok says as he sips his drink.

“You got a problem with it?” Beom-Pal ask maybe sounding a bit defense. He knows he doesn’t fit into anyone mold of what a Cho is supposed to be.

Min Chi Rok actually smiles at him before answering “Not one bit. It’s nice to see the many layers of Cho Beom-Pal. I feel like the only one is see work version.”

“Well, you’ve never really interacted with besides work. Min Chi Rok opens his mouth to respond but Beom-Pal cuts him off coming to hang out with Lee Chang while we are working does not count. The rest of you may be able to play but I’m not.”

“Your right. I’m sorry. I think what I know about you is from Lee Chang and your cousins. And that is not a full picture.” Min Chi Rok responded.

Beom-Pal snorted “Well for one you can only believe like every other word from my cousins. And fairly certain Lee Chang thinks at any moment I’m going to stab him in the back.”

“Don’t take that too personally. Lee Chang’s father instilled that he has to be paranoid about everyone.” Min Chi Rok tried to reassure him.

“So, what does the great Min Chi Rok do beside burning corporate business to the ground?” Beom-Pal ask. Though he knows the answers because he’s in control of his boss schedule. He asks because he doubts that Min Chi Rok remembers. The man in front of raises his eyebrows and takes another sip before answering.

“Well, I know you know this but I’ll play. You know about the basketball and baseball league. But after that archery we did a couple weeks ago, I picked that up again.”

“Jealous that Yeong-shin was better?” Beom-Pal asks. He does not want to be caught in that weird triangle. Whenever his boss gets his head out his ass and admits he’s got the hots for his head hunter.

“Contrary to what everyone thinks me and Lee Chang haven’t slept with each other in like 3 years.” Min Chi Rok tried to defend himself. Beom-Pal snorted at that, they flirted way too much for it to be that long.

“Fine don’t believe me. So, tell what does Cho Beom-Pal do when he’s not preventing the whole world from falling apart.” Min Chi Rok ask.

( Scenario 1)

“ Well most days I don’t have any time but when I can get the time I play pickle ball.” Beom-pal answers

Min Chi Rok starts to laugh “ You mean you play that old man game?”

“ It’s not any old man game. You have to be in good shape to play.” Beom-Pal tried not to whine. This only made Min Chi Rok laugh harder, once he settled a bit the other man said “ Oh I’m sure it keeps you in perfectly good shape.”

“ It does!! Beom—Pal raised his voice If it didn’t would I feel like this? Beom-Pal reached forward grabbing Min Chi Rok by the wrists placing his hands right on Beom-Pal’s pecs. Does this feel like someone who doesn’t get a full work out Beom-Pal asked. Min Chi Rok looked at with wide eyes looking a bit shocked. Beom-Pal looked down and could feel the blood rushing to his face. This was a bit forward and intimate then they actually were. Before Beom-Pal could say he was sorry and removed Min Chi Rok’s hands from his chest, he felt a firm but gentle squeeze on the forementioned pecs. A low hmm came from Min Chi Rok lips.

“ Not bad from just pickle ball. Is there any other parts that benefit from the sport?” Min Chi Rok says with a what Beom-Pal called a naughty glint in his eyes.

Scenario 2

“ Most days I’m too damn tired to go out and do anything. But I do turn my stero on and just dance.” Beom-Pal answered.

“ Ah I heard from Beom-il that you got two left feet.” Min Chi Rok remarked.

“ What did I tell you about listening to my cousins? I dance perfectly well thank you.” Beom-Pal answered back.

“ I’d rather believe you cousin in this I think.” Min Chi Rok responded

Beom-Pal huffed and slammed his glass onto the table, grabbing the remote he programed one his favorite songs. As the bass start to fill the room he grabs Min Chi Rok by the forearm pulling him up from the couch. Beom-Pal starts swing his hips to beat and bring Min Chi Rok close to him. Beom-Pal puts his hands on Min Chi Rok shoulder and drops his body to floor. And as rises back his whole body sways to the rhythm of song. Once he is face to face again with Min Chi Rok, he feels the other man put his hand his waist and leads him around living. They seem to get closer with each Beom-Pal close to his chest. Beom-Pal can hear his heart beating out his chest. Whether its from the dancing or being close to the other man, he’s not sure. Min Chi Rok changes the positon of his hand that’s been on his waist. Now his arm curls around the waist to the back as to support Beom-Pal as he dips him. Before he can react he’s back up doing several more spins.

Back to being chest to chest to his dance partner the song ends and goes into another one. Beom-Pal really not paying attention anymore to the song, he’s trying to get his heart not to leap out of his chest. He stares at the Min Chi Rok who looks like he’s trying to control his breath. Two things at all at once , Beom-Pal feels the hand that was on his waist move lower to the inside of back pocket and Min Chi Rok moves his face closer to Beom-Pal’s face that they might as well be sharing the same breath.

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manggaetteokkie · 4 years ago

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So what are your top 5 favorite BTS songs and then top 5 favorite BTS videos?

Then what are you top 5 favorite Jikook moments? Lol Haaaard questions

Gonna combine these two cause I think these are from the same anonie, who I’m starting to think likes to make people suffer djfhskdh (if it’s not from the same person, then big rip)

Sorry this took so long, I was really trying to narrow it down to top 5 and I think I still ended up failing... I actually do this with my friends but usually, we’re a little bit more generous by narrowing it down to stuff like: top 5 title tracks, top 5 rap-line, top 5 vocal line, top 5 albums, etc... Asking me top 5 songs from their entire discography is absolutely savage.

For my top 5 BTS songs (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER BECAUSE I BARELY NARROWED IT DOWN TO FIVE, YOU CANT MAKE ME RANK THEM):

Blood Sweat & Tears: the monarch, the goat, putting it simply, the absolute best. I honestly remember when the Wings short films started dropping, my friend and I panicked HARD because we were like “WTF IS GOING ON WHAT IS THIS”. And then the teaser dropped, and it was so different from the “typical” BTS we’ve been getting, so we were even more confused. But then... The MV dropped and that was honestly just such a massive turning point for everything. Also, as an ARMY with a Jimin bias, I almost didn’t survive it.

Attack on Bangtan: okay this is honestly just such a fun hype song that never gets old no matter how many times you listen to it? It’s honestly a classic and whenever it plays on Run BTS, I know I’m either about to witness an epic moment or it’s gonna send my ass on the floor from laughing. (Also, let us never forget Tae’s “Nico nico niiii~”)

I Need U: okay this was The song that got me learning all their names and holy shit, I’ve listened to this song so much, it’s currently 5th most played song (out of nearly 2k songs) in my iTunes with 1,338 plays. When one hears “Fall...”, one does not simply resist the urge to belt “EVERYTHANG” with feelings. Also, funnily enough, the one that first caught my eye was Yoongi, there was something so eye-catching about the way he rapped in such a despondent manner at the start of the mv.

House of Cards: I definitely need to put this one because I’ve listened to this song a total of 2,104 times, if you add the Prologue (short) version total (861) to the full length one (1,243). This was my “hoe” anthem long before My Time was born. I deadass fell in love with the song 10 seconds in, there was no saving me and you cannot stop anyone from doing emo bodyrolls when it comes up. Jikook’s bridge? I can’t sing to save my life but you can bet your ass I’m lipsyncing to that shit every single time.

I HATE THIS. I HATE PICKING THE LAST ONE, I WANT TO FIT THEIR ENTIRE DISCOGRAPHY INTO THIS LAST SPOT FFFFFFF.

And now, the last one... can I cheat and throw Euphoria, Serendipity and Seesaw all at my 5th spot? Cause I REALLY can’t pick one out of these 3 skjdhfkshdkf I have such an emotional attachment to Serendipity and Euphoria at this point (DJ Swivel remix of Euphoria? Hello?? I almost cried??? You are me, I am you?? HMMM????), and Seesaw just really surprised me. I absolutely was not expecting it, but holy shit, Seesaw slapped and it slapped hard. At this point, I’m like, anything Yoongi touches turns to absolute gold, I can’t resist him.

Okay I have so many other faves (Spring Day, Baepsae, etc.) but since you only asked for top 5 and not, like, top 100, I have to stop myself here, but I also very curious about your top 5s if you guys wanna share!! Let’s see how well you do, only narrowing it down to 5.

For my top 5 BTS videos (I only counted Bangtan Bombs and live performances, excluding MVs, since you didn’t specify. Otherwise there are too many... just thinking about how many Run BTS episodes I could fit otherwise lmfao):

Perfect Man: I’m a Jimin stan. What did you expect, me to not include this masterpiece??

As I Told You: Good lord, Jungkook was so fkn attractive in a hockey jersey of all things. I honestly loved it so much, I can listen to the live audio as is.

2018 MMA - IDOL Intro Performance (3J focus): Again, I am a Jimin stan. But seriously, from Hobi hitting every. single. beat. while dancing on a raised platform, to Jimin’s fan dance (I streamed the show live and I couldn’t focus on anything else after), to JK lounging like the absolute king that he is, what’s not to love?

It’s Tricky Bangtan Bomb: oldie but goldie, honestly. All of them were babies but holy shit, if their casual dancing didn’t absolutely make me fall in love with them all over again. It honestly never gets old no matter how many times I watch it.

BTS Carpool Karaoke: I have to admit, I honestly got stuck picking the last one so I went with this one because I feel like this is a really really good video to introduce others to BTS to. From their amazing acapella vocals (JK belting Finesse lives in my mind rent free) to how they were so perfectly themselves? You had Hobi’s sunshine smile in the middle, Baby Mochi, Jin’s “I don’t know what he said, but let’s laugh ha ha ha ha”, etc.

Okay I have to admit something, I probably forgot like 90% of their videos so if any of you guys mention a video, I might go “AH SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THAT ONE SKDJFHKSH” so take this list more as a “bangtan videos you should 100% watch” :^)

For my top 5 jikook moments (you absolutely devil, how could you ask me such a question), in no particular order because, again, I actually cannot physically bring myself to rank them:

Jimin comforting a crying JK during LY: (6:05) the way Jimin ran over as soon as he saw Jungkook bent over, facing the backstage. My heart. And he kept JK company for a bit, making sure he was fine before leaving. This whole thing just makes my heart melt into a puddle no matter how many times I think/see about it because it’s like, the timing is just? Anpanman barely started and he just looked over, saw, and ran over. Jesus Christ.

That Jikook moment during SY Seoul Finale: Just how much comfort Jimin must represent for Jungkook to let the dam free once again just seeing his face aghhhhhasgdahj I literally made an entire post about that moment because of how incredibly soft it gets me. I’ve linked it but it’s also my pinned so it’s very easy to find.

“Are you guys dating?”: (start) holy shit okay so this moment is so sdjkfhkdshkfdhks the way both of them were so giggly? It never fails to make me laugh how absolutely done Joon sounded when he said “push quickly!” Also, just how soft did Jimin make his voice when he asked “are you ready”? and how JK, the single most competitive member of BTS, was just giggling the entire time and didn’t even try pushing Jimin before Jimin ended up eliminating himself. Not to mention how JK couldn’t into Jimin’s eyes and only finally made eye contact with at the very end :^)

MMA 2018: lmao okay so I’m just gonna throw this entire fkn night into the mix. I still remember how it was the wee hours in the morning for me when I started following the live stream and damn, they were literally inseparable the entire time. My TL was exploding in Jikook content and between watching them through the official broadcast and watching the fancams, I was BUSY. They did everything: whispering to each other’s ears, slinging their arms around each other’s shoulders, JK massaging JM’s nape, JK pulling JM down to sit... phew.

GCF in Tokyo: Okay so this is one of those things that the more you think about it, the more you can’t believe it’s real. I couldn’t not include this simply because of how meaningful the whole thing was. There’s so much about it that makes me ????? because JK really booked a two-person trip to Tokyo for Jimin’s birthday. And Jimin genuinely had fun on that trip. The whole thing just shows how comfortable the two of them are with each other because they’d never had gone on a trip together elsewise. I recently saw a Korean movie director’s reaction to GCF and the whole thing didn’t have any subs, but the two reactors were like “ohhh... these two... these two must be really close” (they’d reacted to BTS MVs before, but they’re not familiar with how the members are outside of that). From my limited Korean understanding, the movie director then commented “Because the model and the director are so close, it’s very natural” (if I’ve gotten any Korean followers, I’d love to get confirmation on the words said because my Korean understanding isn’t perfect and I don’t want to be spreading crap around). GCF in Tokyo is also the first video posted under the GCF label, with JK editing the whole thing himself. He filmed, he directed, he edited. And his main actor was Jimin.

I was this 👌🏻 close to adding LY lap sitting and Rose Bowl moments but I had other faves to include so I thought I’d go with something else :^) GCF forced its way into my list, I had no say in it.

Okay so I hope this was enough skdjfhkdshfs this post got really long cause I couldn’t help myself from giving reasons for why I included the ones I did, I’m sorry sjkfhdks Please feel free to share you’re own fave songs/videos/jikook moments!!

#thanks for the ask!#bts #bangtan #jimin #jungkook #jeongguk #jikook #kookmin #my post #my stuff #anon #anonymous #answered

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bisexualhobi · 4 years ago

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wait I think I agree not today is really bad but now rank all their title tracks from best to worst pls

lmaoohdksjjdjf i love this question so much anon but due to the fact that i’m me this would get way WAY too long. so i’m doing the top 5 best title tracks and then top 5 worst ones okay? i’m looking at google and apparently they have 26 korean singles so yeah that’s too much.

to rank them as objectively as possible I'm gonna try to take into account gp impact (which is not the same as chart impact since the fandom inflates those numbers), production, creative value (how innovative/different from other pop songs was it?) and the concept of the music video/aesthetic in general.

BTS TITLE TRACKS: TOP 5

5. Black Swan (2020)

am I cheating by putting here a pre release single? maybe. but it would be a disservice to leave this one out so bear with me

⭐gp impact: this song made more noise as a pre release single than the title track. I saw it in at least 3 end of the year editorials for best kpop songs of 2020. and the thing is it could have been WAY bigger but a lot of stuff happened that sadly made it go away too soon. I don't think this one is as famous or recognizable as the others in this list which is why it's going last, but also I think this song is the most underrated gem in bts discography so it's still going here.

⭐production: this song beat out the front runners (I need u, save me, DNA) solely because of its production. there are not a lot of kpop songs out there that manage to pull off what this song does. it's powerful, it's nostalgic, it's a dark and sexy song without being too on the nose. the mixing is SUPERB I remember the first time I heard it I thought "this would blow the fuck up if it was a Travis Scott song" and I will DIE on that hill. this is an example of heavy autotune on a song done right, not like the rest of their super autotuned songs that sometimes come out unrecognizable and empty sounding.

⭐creative value: it's not truly a new concept in pop to make a song about the Death of the Artist. it’s also not something a rookie group can do, this song needed to be released at exactly the time in bts’ career that it was. there’s just no emotional impact if you just sing about how the music makes your hear beat and you’ve been in the industry for,,, 3 years. this is the type of Swan Song you release at the peak of your career, so that really contributes to the message. mixing a trap beat with a ballet motif is GALAXY BRAIN SHIT.

⭐️concept: the ballet influence is just beautifully executed, this song is a beautiful piece of craftsmanship on all fronts. i think they could literally build an entire ALBUM off this concept, so the fact that they jampacked it onto one single song is both amazing and a little sad for me. i wanna hear more of this. i want a literal Black Swan (the darren aranofsky movie) horror concept where the protagonist falls prey to his own madness because he strives for perfection. but yeah, the song itself and the orchestral version just make this a complete golden concept in my book.

4. IDOL (2018).

⭐️gp impact: i think a lot of people that didn’t know anything about kpop vaguely knew about this song when it was released. i know i wasn’t into kpop at all but in my pop culture circle there was a small bleep from this song bc of the concept and the dance. i think it’s a great “embassador of kpop” track, like if you wanna explain to someone with no previous knowledge what kpop is about you can show them a performance of this song.

⭐️production: the production is a little all over the place for me. the instrumentals are amazing and really creative tho, but like in terms of mixing vocals and the structure of it, it might be a little too grating. it’s not the best produced song in ly: answer by any means but it still makes it work

⭐️creative value: the whole hanbok thing is a 10/10. bts weren’t the first ones to do it, but they did it in such a tightly executed way that honestly that “classic korean roots meets the edgy western feel” concept belongs to them now. groups are still recreating it. it’s a really innovative concept in general.

⭐️concept: the music video is,,,, something. you might love it or hate it, but it’s memorable. i think the purposeful way in which they made it as loud and brilliant as possible can be taken either as a camp adjacent or just as the group going nuts with the budget, which props to them. the choreography is also a BIG plus. the south african influence is really well executed and they made sure to do it as cultural appreciation and not appropriation. definitely the most memorable thing from this song is the choreo

3. Run (2015).

⭐️gp impact: this was their second song to have a music show win. it was the lead single from hyyh pt2 and honestly it might be the best song off hyyh as a whole. it cemented bts as not just another kpop group, because it made non fans turn their heads too! from what i gather this really propelled them forward and made the fanbase grow a lot.

⭐️production: hyyh pt2 is super well produced. i feel like this song in particular makes a fine job of mixing the vocals but it’s not outstanding. the best part is the instrumentals. but overall it’s a really good song with amazing lyrics and a great melody.

⭐️creative value: this built off of what they did with pt1 so they were already in a comfortable place, when they found this sound they really explored it well and deep and it works! i’m glad they went this emo pop route because it was a good contrast to what was dominating the charts in kpop in 2015.

⭐️concept: the aesthetic is PERFECT. there’s not a single other thing that i could add or that i wanted gone. it’s the perfect mix of coming of age teen film and heartfelt, dreamy pop. the music video is by no surprises the favorite mv of a lot of the fandom. the cinematography is beautiful and the song and the video perfectly capture that fleeting moment in life when you’re in the brink of adulthood.

2. Mic Drop (2017).

⭐️gp impact: this song was the first bts song to chart on the billboard hot100. back when the fandom had no idea how to chart, mass buy etc. that’s enough said. (personally i think mic drop is the quintessential bts song and their best release so the fact that i’m not putting it first should count as something).

⭐️production: for the purposes of this ranking i’m using the original mic drop and not the steve aoki remix even tho it was the steve remix that was released as the single. the song has the BEST mastering i’ve heard in kpop. the transitions are flawless, the beat is pure fire, the entire first minute is literally the hardest hype rap i’ve heard in kpop. everything about it WORKS.

⭐️creative value: it’s kinda funny how this song got released the same year as kendrick lamar’s humble, because imho it’s the best hiphop song of that year after humble. 2017 was truly the year of the diss tracks. bonus points for including it right after the billboard acceptance speech skit in ly: answer. SUPER refreshing among the ed sheeran type of pop that dominated that year.

⭐️concept: it’s a great concept but not innovative by any means. still, it works and bts managed to exploit it to the max. the choreo, the mv, the styling, everything was amazing!

1. Blood, Sweat & Tears (2016).

⭐️gp impact: it's probably the first song to put bts on the map beyond the kpop sphere. it really set the tone for their 2017. it's one of their most famous and recognizable songs to date.

⭐️production: this song is STUNNINGLY arranged. the mix, the ambience, the progression,,, it's all brought together to make a very well crafted song. it has a distinctive electronic/pop sound to it that still manages to set itself apart from the trend that was going at the time. black swan is probably the closet single they have to this in terms of production.

⭐️creative value: the song itself is very in compliance with the 2015/2016 trend of hype songs with edm influence, (ie. closer, shape of you, cheap thrills, let me love you, something just like this, etc.) but it still packs that punch that makes it sound fresh even for 2021.

⭐️concept: it wasn't the first song to sound like this in kpop ofc but it was the first truly sexy concept for bts. the aesthetic is innovative and very well thought out, the mv is amazing and the choreography too. i read somewhere that j-hope had a lot of input for this choreo so that's amazing. also blond taehyung is literally the best thing to come out of big hit.

WORST BTS TITLE TRACKS

ok so here we go with the worst ones! this is in ascending order as i prepare myself to pick the worst of them all, but please remember this isn’t meant to be mean spirited, i am simply applying the same criteria to their most underwhelming songs but that doesn’t mean they don’t have their own merit! it’s just that out of 26 singles, SOME of them have got to come out at the bottom right?

5. Life Goes On (2020)

⭐gp impact: this song is not memorable with the general public, its #1 on the bb was the product of mass buying and even though it's a feel good song made to comfort fans in the times of pandemic it's still bland and boring. I think it had no music show appearances either, and as far as bts ballads go this is just bottom tier. it’s not that it’s terrible, it’s just very underwhelming

⭐production: the autotune in this song is very poorly executed, it doesn't add to the song the way black swan does for example. it's just off putting and the melody is really forgettable. it's funny bc the chorus is directly pulled from the 2018 reggaeton super hit "La Canción" by J Balvin and Bad bunny lmaooo 💀 so I can't get that out of my head either. the structure is just fine and has nothing of substance

⭐creative value: the song is attempts to be a heartfelt acoustic song but it really has nothing that sets it apart from other songs product of the pandemic like Justin and ariana's stuck with u. for a song in a self produced album it's the song with the least input from the group. the lyrics are good, but they're not as sincere or groundbreaking as for example Spring day.

⭐concept: as a ballad ofc I'm not expecting it to have a grand choreography, and the mv being filmed in their personal dorms to reflect the lockdown is actually a nice touch but besides that there is nothing exciting, innovative or even sincerely comforting about the song and the concept. the greatest thing abt it is the fact that jk directed the video, which is actually pretty good.

4. We are bulletproof pt 2 (2013)

⭐gp impact: this song made no noise back in the day and to this day its just beloved by the fandom due to a sense of nostalgia and "remembering bts' roots". don't get me wrong it's amazing that bts still perform it in the year of our lord 2020 because you can't forget where you came from, but it's not a good or memorable song by any means.

⭐production: I went back to listen to it for this and oh god. I can't remember the mixing being THIS bad. jimin, jin and taehyung sound exceptionally bad, they don't sound like themselves especially jin. it's just a really poorly mastered song, but then again the rest of their debut album isn't far better.

⭐creative value: this is straight up ripping off early 2000s black culture from the US. not only the music, the styling for this era in general is unfortunately really bad and culturally appropriating and overall it's a mess.

⭐concept: there is nothing of substance to be said about this song. it's just really a miss. the mv is terrible, the only thing that can be salvaged from this is the choreography, but besides that the whole thing feels sloppy, rushed and is also kinda cringey.

3. N.O. (2013)

⭐gp impact: no noise. this song was just a really weird pick for their first comeback when attack on bangtan or coffee was right there. not to be mean but no wonder they didn't have a music win this year.

⭐production: it's an objectively bad song. it's just really underwhelming, the whole mixing feels amateur. it's not a good hiphop song and it's not a good vocal arrangement and the chorus is also a rip off of a late 90s American song I can't find right now

⭐creative value: this song isn't innovative in any way, it's just..... there. very meh in general, I have nothing more to say about it

⭐concept: the storyline kinda wants to go somewhere with the music video but it doesn't manage to make a connection. the styling is plain, simple and not flattering at all. it tries to make a protest of the Korean school system but it doesn't say anything beyond "school bad" which we already knew

2. Not Today (2017)

⭐gp impact: its a very middle of the list song for a lot of the fandom. I literally know of no one that claims this as their favorite mv/era/song. when you ask people about their least favorite bts songs they won't mention this one either, you know why? because it's that irrelevant. it had no music show wins either. it's precisely because of this why I put it so high up on the list. there's nothing worse than an unmemorable song, if it was widely hated then at least that would be a response.

⭐production: it's a really mediocre song in terms of structure and melody. it tried to be hype but it falls short. the chorus feels half finished and the message of the song is just “the revolution has begun”? which okay? but it adds nothing to the You never walk alone album either.

⭐creative value: there is nothing exciting about this song, and the chorus is too grating. the rhythm is repetitive and nothing new either in kpop or pop in general.

⭐concept: sadly there's not a lot to be said for the song. it says nothing of value and what it says falls flat. there's no innovation. you can actually see a lot of idol in this song, and also ON. those two songs are what this one tried to be but failed.

1. War of Hormone (2014)

⭐gp impact: thankfully none. this song got the treatment it deserved, if they had won a music show for this one it would feel tainted lol. now it's just a meme in the fandom but overall it made zero noise and contributed nothing to bts' evolution

⭐production: the production is very lazy, which is odd because dark & wild has some pretty tight tracks. but this one is just meh, nothing outstanding and the melody is just annoying

⭐creative value: this is a song that was probably born out of the desperation to have a gp friendly hit. it tries really hard to replicate an outdated idea of what boy bands should be, and it does it badly. simply put this song is very mediocre and misogynistic and the fact that it's a running gag in the fandom that "feminism isn't important when war of hormone comes on" isn't funny and it's actually cringe. please stop

⭐concept: the styling is so ugly :( the mv is very low budget which isn't surprising but they managed to make more with less in past releases. it's just embarrassing and I wish this song didn't exist, there's a reason why they never play it anymore lol. overall a dark mistake in bts' career

#asks #long post//#song analysis #bts

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