#3. Why can't we see Chuuya eyes

[chocsra]

✧ "MY KIND OF WOMAN"

☆ summary ↺: finding out that your crush, chuuya nakahara's type is the complete opposite of you, his close friend.

☆ content ↺: small oneshot, fluff, highschool au, other mentions of bsd chars (+gin, tachihara, hirotsu & dazai)

☆ song ↺: my kind of woman by mac demarco <3

☆ w/c ↺: 2k

sometimes, you felt unsure of yourself.

your parents and the people around you assured that there will be someone—no, plenty of people that would love you and your personality. you were rowdy, energetic and outspoken. very honestly yelling about cringe phrases in public. loved ones around you such as friends, would often shush you or swear you're going to be the death of them.

no—you weren't really weird, just humourous, mischevious and cheeky. yes, sometimes, it affected your love life. nonetheless, the people in your life always said there is someone out there who wants someone exactly like you. you are the ideal in someone's heart.

it made you wonder if others accepted their partner's flaws because they love them, or love your significant other for their flaws.

"man, i don't know."

your eyes roll at the guy beside you, sweating in his basketball uniform and adjusting his sports headband as you two sat at the foot of the bleachers. "very helpful, chuuya."

he was wearing red.

his uniform was red, his hair a colour of copper—but in sunlight he could be mistaken for ginger. and he had this look in his eyes, a look you can't but admire. it was full of passion, but he always suppressed his emotions. chuuya never expressed his emotions well.

and that's how chuuya nakahara was, a complete idiot. you were talked your ear off back then by him geeking out over a girl he likes but can't seem to express it well. though you get teased by him for keeping your head deep in the books when it comes to romance, you found yourself comforting him at 3am when he can't get his mind off another girl, who probably broke his heart.

that was the past when you were both new to highschool, of course he wanted a girlfriend. which was especially difficult since he was best friends with the basketcase of the school—dazai osamu. well, even he had girls liking him, which was surprising since he's not exactly friends with this thing called deodorant.

"well, why would you see flaws in somebody you love and think it's something to be changed?" the boy inquires, chugging his waterbottle. "when you don't love them, flaws shouldn't matter, and when you do love them, their flaws should be part of the reason you do."

cute, you thought.

"that's how it should be!" — you pause, waving your hands all over the place trying to express yourself, "but not everyone thinks like that, y'know?"

he chuckles, "well, unlucky for you, some people's flaws can be unbearable." you shoot a glare at your friend, "the hell is 'unlucky for you' supposed to mean?"

chuuya snickers, "nothing." he looks up at the gym's ceiling, eyebrows scrunching when he sees the numerous dodgeballs stuck up there. how did that get up there? he thinks for a second. you wrinkle your nose in distaste, "—asshole." he quickly averts his gaze from the ceiling, to your scrunched up face.

"hey!"

after settling down from trying to flick each other's foreheads for an extended period of time, you squish your cheek onto your palm. "since we were on the topic of relationships, what is your type in a girl?" you ask casually, the usual hustle and bustle of basketball boys and their friends watching screaming in the gym. "my type in a girl?.."

he thinks for a second, finger tapping on his chin.

"i like elegant girls, girls who are super classy." he smirks, closing his eyes with confidence in his answer.

your eyes widen a bit,

—you were nothing like any of those things.

"well, my type is tall guys." you quickly retort, the redhead almost pouts, before refraining it to a scoff.

"chuuya, we need you on the court, man!" a firm call back runs from one of his teammates, "oh shit," the redhead quickly gets up, setting his waterbottle.

"see ya later, idiot." his lips curve up in a slight smile, ruffling your hair gently before returning to court.

this day sucked already.

"i've been good today.. i burnt 15 ants instead of the usual 30."

chuuya felt is eye twitch, standing near the incinerator with his childhood friend, dazai osamu. "i really fuckin' wish we weren't neighbours."

he remembers back then when his mother would tell the boy to play with his neighbour, dazai. unfortunately, he managed to stick with him forever and ever.

the brunette ruffles his wavy brown hair, crouching down to fiddle with a few new ants. "so what's new, midget?" chuuya almost swears he throws his lit lighter onto the kid right there, before scoffing, "don't call me that, bastard." the bandaged student looks at him blankly, as if he knew the redhead was bothered.

chuuya sighs, "okay, well, [y/n]'s been kinda off lately, and she won't tell me why."

dazai sighs, letting go of the ant he's been holding. "what did you do this time? if a woman is acting off, it's 100% your fault." the ginger scoffs in response, "well, our last conversation was at the bleachers. she asked me what my type was and i responded with elegant and classy girls, and she hasn't been the same since. she even said after her type was tall guys!"

the brunette smirks again, snickering devilshly for a good hot minute. "what the hell? cut it out, man. you're scarin' me!" chuuya protests, before dazai asks him:"you told [y/n] that you like elegant girls, and you have a crush on her?"

the redhead pauses and thinks about that statement for a while, "yeah, what's wrong with that?" he tilts his head in confusion. "you're so inconsiderate, chuuya." dazai hums, "[y/n]'s the polar opposite of elegant and classy."

it suddenly hits chuuya like a brick — but he still rummages to work against that statement.

"dude, you're wrong! she's got a super classy smile, and really elegant hands. even the way she moves is elegant. and—" dazai shoves a bandaged hand in his face, "please, i don't wanna hear it."

"if you want her to actually like you back, tell her that she's your type, and whatever you just said right now." dazai gets up, patting the dirt off his ass. "or, be like me, and invite her to a double suicide date."

chuuya closes his eyes in disdain, "kill yourself." the teenager smirks, "you don't have to tell me twice, slug."

"you don't understaaannndddd!!" you whine, playing the flute despondently at band practice. the girl beside you purses her lips, before writing in her pocket notebook — it's just his type. and i think you're elegant in your own way.

you pout at reading that, before sluggishly getting up. "thanks, gin..." you thank, before another redhead flashily enters band practice. "sorry for being late, mr. hirotsu, somethin' came up." your band teacher nods, before tachihara, an outspoken second year, strides up to you and gin.

"what's up with her?" the boy asks, before sitting down and fiddling with his trumphet. gin writes down — [y/n] found out chuuya's type was the complete opposite of her. tachihara looks for a moment, before laughing: "pfft.."

gin, a super pretty but androgynous second year then tells him to shut up by smacking his shoulder, earning a yelp from tachihara. "eek! well, listen, that guy is total shit anyway.. besides his super cool motorcycle, and killer smile, and his super cool motorcycle.. damn, wish i could get somethin' like that."

"shut up, tachihara." you mumble, as he scoffs dramatically, adjusting the bandage on his nose. "shouldn't you just continue talking to him? him having a type doesn't mean he doesn't like you." the redhead reasons, before reading the sheet music. "yeah but, now i think of all the girls he used to like.. and i'm nothing like them." you frown, slumping again onto the desk.

"y'know what they say.. the past is past, like how i thought gin was a boy." tachihara shrugs, frowning when he sees the middle finger she shoots at him, "i'm telling your brother you did that to me." he quips, before gin clears her throat, her silky raven hair tied back in a ponytail. "he'll beat your sorry ass." she says in the girliest voice possible.

tachihara yelps before your band teacher, mr. hirotsu reprimands you three for slacking off, frowning as you guys apologize, tachihara whispers: "point is, just talk to him." the boy says, as gin nods. "—unless you told him that you liked tall guys after, that would send him into cardiac arrest." he concluded, you gulped in slight guilt.

gin whispered in a gentle tone, "did you actually?.." you don't respond and frown even more.

"damn, you suck." tachihara finishes, yelping as the teacher yells at him again. "sorry, sir!"

it was another day, well, end of the day.

most students already went home, but you decided to stay at school to study for a bit. unbeknownst to your knowledge, it was raining heavily, and luckily for you, you had no umbrella. you sigh, jamming your earbuds in before walking out of the roof you covered yourself in.

except, upon your first step outside, you still felt no rain.

then, you saw chuuya's umbrella covering you. "hm?" you turn to him, surprised. "hey, you shouldn't get sick before my game, idiot." he chuckles as you two walked in the rain, under the same umbrella. "no way!" you smile.

an awkward silence came over you two. "uhm, about the other day," the boy starts off as you immediately flush — of course he noticed that you were upset. "hey! it's nothing serious, i—" chuuya shushes you by successfully flicking your head. you yelp, "ow.." rubbing your forehead. the boy swallows thickly, "i wanted to correct myself, actually."

raindrops. they moved at a steady pace, falling onto his black umbrella above you two, onto the pavement, and onto the cars passing by. you looked over at chuuya, who never followed dress-code, who had his button-up and tie neatly ironed. he strangely followed the dress-code perfectly today. "elegant and classy's not my type, actually."

you pause, thinking for a second. "then what is?"

"good question, actually." chuuya quips, adjusting his tie. he was completely confident when speaking, but you couldn't help but stare at the nervous quivering of his slender hands. "y'know that question you asked about flaws? it made me think that somewhere out there, every person is who someone has been exactly looking for. everyone in the world is someone's ideal type." he explained, inhaling sharply.

"—and i, uh," chuuya's words strained his throat, his cheeks are blazing and he has an odd coordination when walking. "you're my— ugh,"

cute, you thought, before internally slapping yourself.

"you're my kind of, mm, seriously?" the redhead stutters, rubbing two fingers against his temple, exhaling sharply. "you're my kind of girl, and—"

you felt a raindrop hit your cheek, it was cold and quick. but this feeling, it was slow and cherishing. warm, like a sunny day in a field of flowers, or another resting day of keeping your head in the books. after moping around for days, maybe tachihara was right. the whole ordeal was stupid, just like chuuya.

"—i like you too." you cut him off.

chuuya almost drops his umbrella in shock, as an abundance of rain water splashes onto you two. "shit!" he curses, feeling shitty for ruining the moment, but you laugh, extending out your hand to his, smiling brightly.

his lips curve into a smile, "okay, maybe this isn't that bad." chuuya quips, intertwining your fingers into his, before pressing a gentle kiss to the spot on your forehead he flicked earlier.

today, it felt like running through a field of flowers on a sunny day, even though it was raining and you got sick the next day. but it only felt that way because you had him next to you the entire time.

—in truth, he was your type too, and no, tall men were never your type.

✧ chocsra™

[delusionalwriter02]

hey i hope ur alright ? can i request a insta as but with the ada members ? like not a specific relationship just them being happy together (it's been too long since they were happy rip) thank you!!!!!

Insta as an ADA's member

a/n : hey love! I never did it with the whole agency but I'll try me best, hope you'll like it!<3

<3 liked by Chu_uya, Ranthebestpo and 593 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : we searched for them for 30 bloody minutes @.Daze_i @.Ranthebestpo @.Atsushiii @.JuNro @.Kenji_fromthefarm YOU STUPID FUCKERS

Daze_i : you described me so well

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : what

↳ Daze_i : I fuck ur mothejfboqzjtkeo

↳ Daze_i : DOPPO IDIOT U ALMOST GAVE ME A CONCUSSION

↳ KunikiDA : Learn to be respectful

↳ Yosanurgirl : Dazai honey I received a new chainsaw, care to try it with me ? 🥰

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Wonderful idea Yosano

↳ Daze_i : no not a great idea at all, try it on Atsushi I'm sure he'll like it

↳ Atsushiii : Why me ? I didn't insult anyone's mother

↳ Daze_i : OKAY I'M SORRY PLS PLS I'M SORRY

↳ Yosanurgirl : Oh you'll be sorry don't worry

↳ Daze_i : RANPO HELP ME

↳ Ranthebestpo : not my problem

Gintonic : what were they even talking about

↳ Chu_uya : Really ? It's the topic of the conv that's concerning you ?

↳ Gintonic : they got cute hat

↳ Chu_uya : I need a drink

<3 liked by Daze_i, Atsushiii and 942 others.

Yosanurgirl : dump of our vacations

Gintonic : LMFAO WHO IS ON THE TOP RIGHT

↳ Yosanurgirl : Ranpo proudly sitting on Atsushi

↳ Gintonic : they're so stupid omg

Chu_uya : IT'S OUTRAGIOUS BOSS I WANT VACATIONS TOO

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : come with us next time

↳ Daze_i : yes Chuuya come 🤗

↳ Chu_uya : you're so suspicious

↳ Daze_i : it'll be my pleasure to throw you out of the cliff

↳ Chu_uya : you'll fall trying

↳ Daze_i : what a wonderful death

FukuZAWA : It was very nice, we should do it more often.

↳ Ranthebestpo : glad you had fun

↳ Elisefather : Were they more productive after these vacations ?

↳ FukuZAWA : Raise spirits at least

↳ Elisefather : Hm, maybe I'll consider doing that

↳ Chu_uya : Really ?

↳ Gintonic : OMG FUCK YES

↳ Gintonic : I mean, this is a great idea Boss

↳ Elisefather : We'll see.

↳ The_Hirotsu : Please Boss, change that username

<3 liked by Gintonic, Yosanurgirl and 294 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : we're so sexy @.Yosanurgirl

Yosanurgirl : I felt my sex appeal disappear

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : always be sexy in my eyes

↳ Daze_i : mine too, everywhere you want

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : shut the fuck up

↳ Chu_uya : Have some self respect omg

Atsushiii : Can't believe I won honestly

↳ JuNro : me too

↳ Ranthebestpo : I SHOULD HAVE WON, I CALCULATED EVERYTHING, I EVEN MADE YOU FALL

↳ Atsushiii : SO IT WAS YOU

↳ Ranthebestpo : OF COURSE IT WAS ME

↳ Atsushiii : YOU SAID IT WAS YOSANO

↳ Ranthebestpo : OMG DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING I TELL YOU

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : are the kids done ?

↳ Atsushiii : NO

↳ Ranthebestpo : NO

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Fine fine

Yosanurgirl : GIRL COME SEE THIS MAGNIFICENT PAIR OF KIDNEYS

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : OMW

↳ KunikiDA : How have you.... Nevermind, don't wanna know

↳ Daze_i : COMING TOO MY GIRLS

↳ KunikiDA : OH NO YOU ARE COMING WITH ME

↳ Daze_i : but but but but

↳ KunikiDA : You still have paperwork to do, and this time you won't give them to Atsushi

↳ Daze_i : How did you know ?

↳ KunikiDA : I know everything.

<3 liked by Yn_theoneandonly, Ranthebestpo and 1806 others.

KunikiDA : Whoever did this, I swear to you I'm going to find you, gut you and petition the government to have this bloody day annulled !

Yn_theoneandonly : FUCK IT DID WORK @.Ranthebestpo WE'RE GENIUS

↳ Ranthebestpo : SHUT UP HE'S GONNA KNOW IT'S US

↳ Daze_i : That's why I love you

↳ KunikiDA : You two, you better start running

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : RANPO WE'RE DEAD

↳ Ranthebestpo : WHO'S TO BLAME YOU IDIOT

↳ Kenji_fromthefarm : RUN I'LL TRY TO STOP HIM

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : YOU'RE A LIFESAVIOR KENJI

Gintonic : oh my I almost piss myself laughing

↳ Akutagawa : Thanks for the details

Yosanurgirl : I would have paid millions to see his face

↳ Daze_i : SAME BAAHHAHAHAHAHAH HE'S SO STUPID NOBODY WRITES "FREE CAKE"

↳ Yosanurgirl : You write your name on your yogurts

↳ Daze_i : That's because of Ranpo, he always eats them all

↳ Yosanurgirl : and who pays for these yogurts

↳ Daze_i : Atsushi... Okay I see your point but if my name is on them THEN IT'S MINE

↳ Yosanurgirl : THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS

↳ Daze_i : WELL NOW IT IS

Chu_uya : So hmmm Kyôka, you left us for them ?

↳ Kyôk_a : They're funnier than you for sure

↳ Chu_uya : Gotta act like I didn't read that

<3 liked by KunikiDA, FukuZAWA and 701 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : true family

Kenji_fromthefarm : I love you guys

Yosanurgirl : I LOVE you

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : me too sweet

Ranthebestpo : owwww aren't we cute

↳ p0e : sure are

Daze_i : at that moment there was a warm current between my legs

↳ Chu_uya : someone piss on you

Kyôk_a : never felt better in my life

↳ OzuKoy : I'm happy for you sweetheart

Atsushiii : I'm glad I found you all

↳ Akutagawa : you're foolish

↳ Gintonic : shut up and be happy for once

KunikiDA : What a bunch of happy idiots we are

↳ KATAI : couldn't have worded it better

JuNro : the warm current was probably me

↳ Higucci : you're disgusting

↳ Naomii : you should have stayed silent Jun

FukuZAWA : Thank you for trusting me one day, kids

↳ M_Mori : I really need to plan those vacations

↳ The_Hirotsu : Thank you Boss for changing the username

Hello! hope you liked it ? I kinda tear up at the end, it makes me happy to write them happy so I really hope you'll feel the same, we all need a good old boost of happiness from time to time

with love <3

[osachiyo]

I’m a tall girl ( 6’0+ ) and I rarely see any content for us and only if you’re up to it and taking requests could we get bsd men with a tall reader ^-^ feel free to disregard this if you don’t want to !

From 🍰 anon ( if I can be ^^ ) :3

⊹ note. . . as a short girlie this was a lil difficult to write, but I managed ! so sorry abt answering this so late and ofc you can be 🍰 anon, my dear <3

dazai doesn't care about your appearance, he'd love you no matter what you look like. if you're taller than him, he'd still enjoy every single bit of it, of of course. he loves how he doesn't have to strain his shoulders and slouch or bend down to kiss you. will also convince you to tease chuuya together, which eventually becomes one of y'all's favourite couple activity <3

during bed, he definitely won't deny a tall dominant lady, if you're into that. but if you prefer being submissive, he won't mind that either. mans just wants to get his dick wet and touch you, as simple as that..♡

chuuya also doesn't care about your appearance− just don't mention or make jokes about the comical height difference between you both. he'll either sulk about it, or huff and smack you playfully, grumbling something about 'height doesn't matter'. and if you picked him up and threw him over your shoulder�� he'd screech and probably thrash around to get out immediately. don't worry though, he'd let you give him piggy-back rides eventually, after a lot of begging. oh and if you like to wear heels? he's not gonna tell you what you can and can't wear but it's gonna be pretty funny when he looks half your size.

in bed, unlike dazai, he'll fight you for dominance. definitely won't let you have the upper hand without some struggle− unless you somehow manage to convince him. will be secretly very into it later, he'd rather die than admit it though. but if you're submissive, he'd love that as well. would take the best care of you..♡

fyodor wouldn't care much about your height, he wants someone who listens to him and is devoted. if you tease him for being shorter than you, his lips would turn into a straight line and he'd sigh, "so? why would that matter to me?" if you wear heels, no you don't. he claims you're already taller than him, there's no need for you to become even more tall. guess he's not as unaffected he said he was, huh?

during sex, as much as it pains me to say this, fyodor will not let you have control no matter what. he desires control control and power, and he will not give that up. do not try to overpower and pin him down, I promise you the punishment is not worth it. of course, he'll let you ride him time to time− you may be on top, but he has the control and he sets the pace; don't get it twisted..♡

nikolai is a pretty big guy himself, so he's not gonna mind if you're really tall. he's gonna love it actually, you're the perfect size for him. you two would be the power couple of yokohama, just imagine terrorizing sigma together with him (ㅅꈍᴗꈍ)ᰔ

he's gonna be pretty flexible in the bedroom, of course. he's almost into anything and everything. not afraid of letting you take the lead ! will take his revenge and pin you down later though, so better keep an eye out for that..♡

©sachiyoh— do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, reblogs are very appreciated♡

[chuuyaswifeandhoe]

Not today

Pairing: Chuuya x femreader

Warnings: hurt, swearing, manipulation, not a happy ending, Chuuya being an asshole

Not proofread

A/N: Hello all. This fic will have 3 or 4 parts. Please note that it's not going to have a happy ending so read at your own discretion.

“I want to break up”

He said the words so effortlessly that you were not sure you were hearing him right.

“What?” Your mind did not understand yet the meaning of his words. It couldn't be. No. It was impossible. But his annoyed and tired sigh had your heart in a grasp, ready to shatter it.

“ I want to break up Y/N. I don't want to continue this any longer.” His tone was empty, no trace of emotion, no trace of love, no trace of your Chuuya. The pain you started to feel was unbearable. Like someone was planting in your heart thousands of shattered glass pieces making it bleed more when it tried to beat. You did not see this coming. How could you when this morning he kissed your sleepy face, told you he is going to miss you throughout the day and that he loves you more than anything. How could you when only some nights ago you were talking about marriage and how you two see the idea of having kids.

“Why?” Your voice was strained, like it did not belong to you. You choked on air, your mind screaming profanities at you. Your body started trembling. You were living your perfect fairytale. Chuuya was the man you were sure was not going to break your heart. Until five minutes ago…

An exasperated sigh left Chuuya's lips. He did not want to do this. It hurt him as much as it hurt you. Maybe even worse. But if this was the only solution he had to keep you safe then he's going to do it. Better two broken hearts than a dead body, your dead body. The next mission was going to last over a year long, abroad, with little possibility and space for outside communication. And the biggest fear he had was that you'll become a target in all this time and Mori told him they can't offer you protection for such a long time. Their resources were limited at the moment with all that was going on, no weakling could be spared for his girlfriend. And if you became a target, he could not do anything to protect you, he wouldn't even find out until is too late and the Mafia “would not organize a rescue mission or give in ransom requests for Y/N”.

“Why does it matter, I want to end things!” He raised his voice feeling guilty. Seeing you flinch, your glossy eyes widen and tears spilling over your face was like pushing the dagger in his own heart. He did not want to give reasons. He hoped you'd magically understand his thoughts and not put up a fight. But how could you, you were fighting for him and he couldn't be happier to know it, but not today.

“Because this morning you told me you loved me, because few nights ago we were talking marriage and children and now you've done a 180 turn so you owe me at least an explanation.” Your voice cracked, your phrase interupted by a pitiful sob. This had to be a nightmare you got to wake up from, right?

Chuuya's gaze soften for a second before going back to his composed icy attitude. He wanted to extend his arm, to pull you close and tell you he is just a coward and he's scared to lose you. He couldn't bear to see you like this. But he needed to cut whatever strings were keeping you close. He knew you well enough to realize that a simple ”I have another girl or I lost feelings” wouldn't work. He had to make you hate him, he had to cut deep so you'd never want to see him again. He had to be the very last thing he wanted to become, an absolute asshole. He was going to rip your heart apart with his words.

“I lied. I never loved you.”

You scoffed. “Fuck you, try something better. You can't fake a year and a half of relationship, being the most loving boyfriend and then tell me it was all a lie.” Your voice was so confident that for two seconds made Chuuya waver in his own decision. You trusted him so much, so blindly and he couldn't be more grateful… but not today. He bit his lip, not wanting to go on that road, a trip of no return. If he's going to attack every vulnerable part of you he was going to break you in multiple ways, but at least you would be safe, right?

He forced a sinister laugh. “See, you're so fucking gullible that you think a Port Mafia executive would not be able to lie. You want to know the truth?? You were just convenient. The good innocent girl who would believe everything that I feed her. You're fucking way to stupid and naive for your own good. I never loved you, I just wanted someone to warm my bed every night without having to worry too much on the how's and who's.” He regretted every word that was coming out of his mouth. He didn't believe any of it. Saying them was like eating glass, he felt his mouth hurting together with his heart when he saw the impact they were having on you.

It was like a dagger that was cutting every fiber of your muscles. Your heart clenched so hard in your chest you though you were having a heart attack. Everything hurt. There wasn't a cell in your body not burning under the cold eyes Chuuya reserved for you today. To say his words hurt was an understatement.

“You're lying”. It was the only thing your vocal cords could articulate.

“If this makes it easier for you, then of course Y/N, I'm lying. But I don't want to do this anymore. You're annoying, I'm tired of your bubbly energy and the way you act all clingy. You're a grown ass woman and act like a freaking teenager. What, you think I like how you're jumping around the bookstore? Or that you act so fucking selfish towards everyone, like there is no bad in the world. I'm so tired of having to act like I'm not killing people on the daily basis around you. Also, I hate how you get all shy when I'm fucking you. Acting all so innocent like you don't like it.” he took a deep breath before speaking again “The only thing good about you is when you shut up and just take it. And even that is such a rarety since you're so fucking sensibile you're always hurting, always bruising easily. I don't love you, I never did. You were nothing more than a bed warmer and I just had enough of you.”

Lies, lies, lies. He adored every part of you. He loved how you would be so excited by some random hardcover book, just because the covers are pretty. How you'd take photos of the sunsets because they were “pieces of art”. The way you folded under his teasing games and how you tried to cover your blushing face. He loved it all. He worshipped you till the moon and back. If you'd ask him for the moon itself he'd ask the god's permission to rip a piece and bring it back to you.

He was trying with all his being not to crack the mask he's put on. If he didn't had the gloves on, he was sure his nails would dig in his palms until blood would come out. Loyalty, he was doing this out of loyalty towards the Mafia and towards yourself. He was doing it out of love. He was doing it out of selfishness. He couldn't bear the idea of the possibility that his world could get you hurt, or worse killed. So his best idea was to hurt you himself so he could push you away from his world, from his blood stained hands. Your sobs brought him back to reality. He looked at you and saw everything he did not want to become. You were hugging your own body while crying and sobbing uncontrollably.

You felt empty, you were in agony. No, it was worse, but you could not point out just a single emotion you were feeling right now. It was like you fell to hell from heaven. And yet, somehow hell seemed a less painful place right now. Every vulnerability you had, he made sure to point it out and twist it against you. Were you so blind to not see that he actually did not love you? You felt useless, an used object, a used doll. All the moments he kissed your insecurities away were mere lies? Everything you were afraid of, came to life. Maybe was it your fault to have let down your defences and let him under your skin, under the layers you kept on for so long. Was he such a good actor after all? You fell to your knees continuing to cry. It was too much, way too much than your fragile heart could endure.

His first instinct was to catch you, to use his ability to help you get down safely. He fought against it and any piece of respect he had for himself vanished when he heard a desperate cry from your scrunched form. He felt a burn in his eyes, tears forming in them. No, he could not screw this up. He turned on his feet giving you his back.

“You can keep this place and the card I have given to you. Take it as compensation for the time you lost with me. If our paths ever cross again you'll act like you don't know me or I'll make a bullet go through your skull.” He walked away, getting out of the shared apartment, while tears were falling down his cheeks. Even though his body was reacting in a very human way, he felt anything but human. He broke the only person who made him feel human. He took a deep breath before taking his phone out and sending a message to Dazai “I need your help”. He had to find a way to protect her from his world now that he cut any strings. He had to protect her from himself.

[aspoonofsugar]

Chuya's Tainted Sorrow

Here comes a meta on my favourite bsd character:

Chuya is mostly explored in the two BSD novels Fifteen and Storm Bringer, so this post covers what happens in these books. In particular, I am going to use Chuya's song, gift and literary references to explore his story.

DARKNESS MY SORROW

Darkness My Sorrow is Chuya's character song and its title combines two different literary references:

Darkness comes from the Sheep Song, which is used to trigger Corruption:

O acquaintances, grantors of dark disgrace, do not wake me again!

Sorrow comes from Upon The Tainted Sorrow, which gives its name to Chuya's ability

Let's discover what these two poems represent.

CHUYA'S DARK DISGRACE (THE SHEEP)

O expectations, stale and dismal airs, leave this body of mine! I want nothing anymore but simplicity, quiet, murmurs and order. O acquaintances, grantors of dark disgrace, do not wake me again! I will endure my solitude, arms seeming already useless. O eyes that open doubtfully, open eyes that stay motionless for a while, ah, heart, that believes in others more than itself, O expectations, stale and dismal airs, leave, leave this body of mine! I enjoy nothing anymore but my wretched dreams. (The Sheep Song, Part II)

The Sheep is Chuya's first group, which welcomes him in as a child. Why is the organization called after this animal? There are several reasons, which tie with Chuya's relationship with his friends.

1 - Chuya is a herding dog

The Sheep's members are normal kids, but Chuya guards their territory and punishes trespassers violently. This is the behaviour of herding dogs, which are famous for their aggressiveness towards outsiders.

"Everyone's waiting for you to give this enemy a beatdown! That's the only way we Sheep can protect our turf! We've only made it this far because everyone knows they can't mess with us!" (Shirase in Fifteen)

2 - Chuya is a sheep among wolves

"Chuuya's got all that berserk firepower, but here he's like sheep getting stared down by a wolf." (Dazai in Fifteen)

Chuya's relationship with the Sheep is exploitative and toxic. The other kids use Chuya's love and wish to belong to control him. All in all, Chuya is used as a pawn for the organization's well being:

"We Sheep took you in when you had no family and nowhere to go, but you already gave us more than enough in return. That's why... it's time to rest... after dying and contributing to the Sheep one last time." (Shirase in Fifteen)

3 - Chuya is the King of the Sheep

Luois I, King of the Sheep is a children book about a sheep, who finds a crown. He puts it on and becomes King. The point of the story is that Luois I is like other sheep, but chance and a superficial attribute turn him into a royal.

Chuya sees himself in the same way:

"I'm not a King," the boy, Chuuya Nakahara, spat. "I just happen to have something no one else does: power. I'm simply fulfilling the responsibility I have." (Fifteen)

Chuya's "crown" is his gravity manipulation gift that sets him apart from others. He even calls it a "good card", so something luck gives him.

Luois I lets the crown get to his head and believes he is above others. Chuya instead really wants to be part of the flock:

Chuuya wasn't anyone special; he didn't have a skill, either. He was just a regular member of the group. He wasn't the king, he had no powers, he wasn't the center of attention - he was simply a single Sheep among the flock, chatting with his friends. (Chuya's wish in Storm Bringer)

However, his ability is so powerful that it is the Sheep kids, who forget Chuya is a teenage boy just like them:

"Chuuya's covered in wounds. I've never seen him like that. He looks just like a regular guy my age. Wait, no - he doesn't just look like one. He is my age. He's a boy just like me." (Shirase in Storm Bringer)

In short, Chuya doesn't want to be the Sheep King, but he is forced into the role by the crown of power:

"Shut up! If you think you can become king, then do it! You can have this power!" Chuuya howled, unable to take it any longer. "To hell with power! If I didn't have this skill, I'd still be with you guys...!" (Storm Bringer)

Still, gifts are metaphors of the characters' interiority. So, what does Chuya's abnormous skill symbolize? What is the real flaw that defines Chuya's relationships and gets in their way?

"Once there was this boy who could amplify the skill of anyone he touched. Super convenient. So what do you think would happen if he used it on himself instead of someone else? (...) He amplified the skill to amplify the other skill, which amplified the skill to amplify skills that amplify skills. This self-referencing continued nonstop as he endlessly amplified his own skill." (N in Storm Bringer)

Storm Bringer reveals that the origin of Chuya's gravity manipulation is the gift to make other skills more powerful. The user applies his gift on himself and makes it stronger and stronger until infinite energy is created and space warps. So, Chuya's singularity is born: a gift able to control gravity. In other words:

The original ability is to make others stronger

If the ability is used on one-self (so that the wielder can become more powerful and make others even more powerful), then a contradiction arises and a monstruous skill appears

This process is a representation of Chuya's tendency to grow stronger for others' sake. He hones his fighting skills to protect the Sheep (to make them stronger), but this turns them too dependent on him (an organizational vulnerability). What a good leader should do is instead to nurture his people, so that they can be independent and strong:

“A leader is both the head of the organization and the organization’s slave. For the survival and the profit of the organization, they gladly put themselves through any manner of filth. They develop their subordinates and place them where they best fit. And, if necessary, they use and dispose of them. For the sake of the organization, they take on any act of barbarism with glee. That is a leader. All for the organization, and for the protection of this beloved city.” (Mori in Fifteen)

This is Chuya's mistake and the reason why the Sheep disbands. Chuya falls short as a leader not because he isn't as smart as Dazai or Mori (if anything, I think he is going to be a better leader than both). Rather, he fails because he doesn't know how to depend on others:

"It's because you are our friend. Were things different with the Sheep?" They had been. That was what Chuuya's flustered expression was saying. Everyone in the Sheep depended on him. The contrary was unthinkable. (Storm Bringer)

He insists on doing everything by himself, but a leader should work with his subordinates. This is what Chuya lacks in Fifteen and what he sails up to learn.

Still, to succeed Chuya needs to face the origin of this flaw, which lies in how he perceives himself:

O eyes that open doubtfully, open eyes that stay motionless for a while, ah, heart, that believes in others more than itself

Chuya sees himself as inferior to others. This complex makes him willing to be used, if it means he belongs somewhere:

LONELY DARKNESS MY SORROW, once it is opened by the key I'd rather just fall than go back to being alone Staring at the destroyed cage of this self, (GRAVITY) Slowly, I sing, "Not bad at all."

This is the key stanza of Chuya's song, which reveals what Chuya's darkness really is. Loneliness. Chuya is scared of being alone, so he does his best to conform to others' wishes. For example, he dresses like those around him not to stick out.

Chuuya, age fifteen - He wears sportsy clothes, with several sheep symbols:

Chuuya, age sixteen - He wears a formal attire with much black in it. Perfect mafia-style:

However, he can't escape his interior pain, which metaphorically manifests in Corruption:

O acquaintances, grantors of dark disgrace, do not wake me again! I will endure my solitude, arms seeming already useless.

It is not by chance that the verses, which open Chuya's gate affirm the poet's solitude. That is because deep down Corruption is just this. Chuya's isolation.

THE TAINTED SORROW (ARAHABAKI)

Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Today, the snowflakes fall so harsh. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Today, even the strong wind gusts. The Tainted Sorrow is Just like a fox’s hooded fur. The Tainted Sorrow is Covered by snowflakes and it cowers. The Tainted Sorrow has Nothing to desire and nothing to wish. The Tainted Sorrow has A dream of death to its wary self. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Trembling like a pitiful soul. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Nowhere to belong, the sun sets... (Upon The Tainted Sorrow)

Corruption is a state where Chuya gives up his body to Arahabaki. What is this entity? In universe, it is a singularity, a self-contradicting skill able to create infinite power. It metaphorically represents two things:

Everyone's objectification of Chuya

A part of Chuya himself

1 - Chuya's life is defined by others reducing him to a skill

-N and the Government kidnap, abuse and clone Chuya because of his self-contradicting gift. It is not the two kids (the original and the clone) they are interested in. Rather, they reduce them to their special abilities:

"Just like how we respect your will, we respect the will of your skill Arahabaki, as well. But... how should I put this? Your will is tying Arahabaki down, and as long as your will is firm, we won't be able to remove Arahabaki from you." (N in Storm Bringer)

N says it oudloud. He respects Arahabaki's will more than Chuya's. Except that Arahabaki has no will:

"Sigh... Why do you wanna see it so bad?" Chuuya said. "It doesn't have a personality or a mind of its own, so what's meeting' it gonna do for you? You gonna pray to it because it's a god? It's a god of destruction, y'know. Nothing more than a mass of energy. It's no different from a typhoon or an earthquake. Ya might as well pray to a power plant." (Fifteen)

Arahabaki is not a person, but the embodyment of Chuya's gift. And yet, it is given a name and treated as more important than the kid.

-Rimbaud literally wants to turn Chuya into a skill:

"Allow me to reintroduce myself. Rimbaud. Arthur Rimbaud. My skill is called Illuminations. Chuuya, my goal is to kill you and absorb you into my skill" (Rimbaud in Fifteen)

He doesn't want to kill Dazai because he hates murdering children. And yet, Chuya is Dazai's same age. However, Rimbaud sees him as nothing, but Arahabaki's host.

-Verlaine wants Chuya to be his clone:

"I dunno about you, but I'm human." "You aren't human. You're 2,383 lines of code." (Chuya and Verlaine in Storm Bringer)

He denies Chuya's humanity and insists he is an artificial creation. Chuya can't be the original kidnapped child, but needs to share Verlaine's origins and hate for the world. Verlaine doesn't consider his brother a person, but an extension of himself.

2- Arahabaki is Chuuya's inner beast

In psychology, the beast is a personification of one's deepest and most repressed feelings. What are Chuya's?

His control on gravity suggests two strong emotions:

a) A lack of freedom - The ability to control gravity should make one freer. And yet, Chuya is always chained:

Even though it feels like I might be trapped, there is no room for sentiments I'll push myself to the limit and dye everything jet-black The world is a bird cage, faded in colour Even if I lament, I can't get out of this prison

He spends his childhood imprisoned in a lab. He is used as an attack dog by the Sheep. He is threatened to join the mafia with his friends' lives and Rimbaud's secret files. In a sense, he always serves someone. That is why Arahabaki is a servant deity.

b) A huge existential weight - He can make things lighter, but he still shoulders too much:

"Tell me, tin man," Chuuya suddenly stated, his voice devoid of all emotion. "Why did they die?" "Because of you, Chuuya." Silence. "Yeah, it is my fault." (Chuuya and Adam in Storm Bringer)

For example, Chuya blames himself for what happens with the Sheep, the Flags and later on Adam:

"What's wrong, Chuuya? Everyone's going to die at this rate. You're going to kill them. Your shortcomings are going to kill them." (Verlaine in Storm Bringer)

Chuya fears whoever gets close to him dies. That is why Arahabaki is a god of destruction.

Points 1 and 2 explain Chuya's loneliness. On the one hand others only see his skill (objectification). On the other hand Chuya doesn't see himself (struggle with the beast).

Arahabaki is a god whose origins are uncertain, so nobody understands it. Not even Chuya:

'In languor dreams of death' … who was the one that said it?

In the song, Chuya wonders who is the author of his own poem. This shows how disconnected he is from himself. He wears a mask of violence and bravado to hide his vulnerability. Still, this fragility emerges every time he lets Arahabaki out. Here comes the interpretative key of Chuya's character...

Arahabaki is nothing, but the Tainted Sorrow of the poem:

Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Today, the snowflakes fall so harsh. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Today, even the strong wind gusts. The Tainted Sorrow is Just like a fox’s hooded fur. The Tainted Sorrow is Covered by snowflakes and it cowers.

The tainted sorrow is a fox covered in snow, while the wind howls:

Black snow began fluttering around Chuuya. Red scar-like runes crawled across his skin. He ignored the law of physics, hovering in the sky, as he glared down at the beast on the surface. Intense heat caused by the gamma radiation filled the air. The night was scorched, and the scenery warped. (Storm Bringer)

Arahabaki-Chuya is described as a tailed-beast and the anime shows he is similar to a fox. Moreover, he is covered in black snow, while his gravity powers manifest a strong wind.

The rest of the verses convey Chuya's feelings:

The Tainted Sorrow has Nothing to desire and nothing to wish. The Tainted Sorrow has A dream of death to its wary self. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Trembling like a pitiful soul. Upon the Tainted Sorrow, Nowhere to belong, the sun sets...

Interestingly, the fox and the setting sun come up in Storm Bringer:

The video showed a golden coin. One side was engraved with a fox, the other with the moon. It was beautiful yet somewhat melancholy. (Storm Bringer)

The young Chuya repeats Upon the Tainted Sorrow while playing with a coin that has a fox and a moon on its sides.

The literary metaphor becomes clear. The Sheep Song is the key to open the Tainted Sorrow's gate. Chuya activates Corruption through verses, that state his loneliness. He says them, when he is ready to face the darkest part of himself.

WHAT IS CHUYA?

The Tainted Sorrow has Nothing to desire and nothing to wish. The Tainted Sorrow has A dream of death to its wary self.

The Tainted Sorrow dreams of death, which means Chuya is suicidal.

This is why he is both drawn and repulsed by Dazai:

"Your birth itself was a mistake. We're the same. Is there really a point to suffering through all that pain for a life that isn't even real?" The voice was taunting him. "Shut up," Chuuya spat, but even he knew he was talking to himself. "Screw you, Dazai." "That's just proof that you at least somewhat believe what I'm saying. Because deep down inside, you're the same as me." (Storm Bringer)

Dazai is the Chuya, who regrets being born and wishes to die. Still, he is also the Chuya, who wants to live, despite it all:

Chuya quietly stared at Daai's expression as if he were searching for something human deep inside of him. "So you're saying... you want to live now?" "I wouldn't go that far," Dazai replied with a resigned smile. "Maybe I won't find anything, but I figure I'll give it a try." (Fifteen)

The Tainted Sorrow wishes nothing because it isn't a person. Chuya fears he has no will of his own because he isn't human:

Chuuya Nakahara didn't dream. For him, waking up was like a bubble emerging from within mud. (Storm Bringer)

This fear is why Chuya's friendship with Adam is so important.

Adam is a an artificial creation, like Chuya. He is even called after the Frankenstein monster. He is a robot programmed to destroy himself for the sake of his mission:

"This is the real reason why an android was sent, instead of a human detective. My core, which now contains state secrets, will be incinirated along with Verlaine." (Adam in Storm Bringer)

Adam is a person, like Chuya. He is even called after the first man. He is a friend, who chooses to sacrifice himself for a loved one:

"I get to protect you. I couldn't ask for more." (Adam in Storm Bringer)

Dazai and Adam are linked to life and humanity, which are the main themes of Chuya's arc in the novels.

They both get to keep on living together with Chuya:

Dazai curled into the fetal position and screamed, "Dying with Chuuya? Anything but thaaaat!!" (Storm Bringer)

"Would you like to hear an android joke, Master Chuuya?" (Adam revealed as alive at the end of Storm Bringer)

Fittingly, Storm Bringer ends with the three of them together and alive. Chuya loses several friends, but by the end he still has two bonds. Two people who survive their friendship with him.

Even more importantly, Dazai and Adam both care about Chuya's humanity:

"Chuuya's gonna kill N at this rate and lose his humanity, but I want to see him suffer as a human. That's why I have to stop him" (Dazai in Storm Bringer)

"Do you know whether Master Chuuya is human?" I was curiously hopeful that he would know the truth. (Adam in Storm Bringer)

Not only that, but they help Chuya finish his arc and find himself:

Then what is a soul? My friend's final words... What if those words were merely the words of a soulless command? So what? (Chuya in Storm Bringer)

Dazai gives Chuya a choice and Adam helps Chuya make it.

Dazai believes in Chuya's humanity more than anyone else:

"You sound like you're certain he's human." "I am." Dazai sighed, smiling. "There's no way I could hate a man-made character string this much." (Storm Bringer)

N, Shirase, Rimbaud and Verlaine all reduce Chuya to a skill. Dazai instead sees Chuya as his own person. Sure, he finds Chuya annoying, but he is the only one, who interacts with Chuya for who he is, rather than what he can do.

Adam realizes Chuya is human no matter his origins:

"Asleep or not, he is just an ordinary human," Chuuya replied indifferently. "his skill is strong, but that's it. He gets mad, he worries... That doesn't seem to be enough for him, though." "You are exactly right. It appears you have reached the conclusioin you needed to arrive at." (Chuya and Adam in Storm Bringer)

The Flags, Verlaine, Dazai and Chuya himself are focused on uncovering Chuya's birth. Is he the original kid or the clone? Discovering the truth is everyone's goal. Still, by the end Adam realizes Chuya's nature doesn't matter. He is Chuya either way. He is the person who teaches Adam about humanity. He is Adam's first friend.

Thanks to both Dazai and Adam, Chuya finally faces himself and activates Corruption. Not only that, but Chuya's final choice to let Arahabaki out is a perfect example of how he interprets freedom:

Even though it feels like I might be trapped, there is no room for sentiments I'll push myself to the limit and dye everything jet-black The world is a bird cage, faded in colour Even if I lament, I can't get out of this prison BUT NOW, DARKNESS MY SORROW I have not yet fallen apart So, as I laugh off this imposed inconvenience Let's overturn even the heavens and the earth (GRAVITY)

Chuya is trapped in many ways and he knows it. He is given a gift he doesn't want and he is forced to join an organization he dislikes. And yet, he makes all these "imposed inconveniences" his. Chuya accepts the "card he is given" and uses it the best he can.

He combines his gift with martial arts, so that it really becomes his own ability:

He finds his own motivation to work for the mafia:

"I chose to join the Mafia on my own, and I'm never gonna be your lackey, much less your dog!" (Chuuya to Dazai in Fifteen)

He doesn't open the gate when N forces him, but he chooses to on his own terms.

It is really not by chance that in Chuya's first big fight in the manga, this happens:

Chuya claims there is no choice, but he is still the one who decides to activate Corruption. Even when trapped, Chuya always pushes forward and plays the hand he is dealt with passion. Even if he is unsure of who he is, he lives on as himself.

WHO IS CHUYA?

Chuuya took off one of his leather riding gloves and gazed at his hand. This is my hand, he thought. (Storm Bringer)

Chuya is a person. He has always been, no matter if he is the original or the clone. He feels pain, happiness, surprise. He is able to bond and to empathize with others. All of this makes him human. Not only that, but all of this makes him Chuya.

It is interesting that by the end, many people who objectify Chuya, recognize his personhood.

Shirase sees him as the teenage he is and saves him

Mori traps Chuya in the mafia, but is touched by Chuya's passion and loyalty:

Both Rimbaud and Verlaine eventually see who Chuya is:

"Chuuya, you already possess strength and talents all your own, separate from Arahabaki. You are strong not as a god but as a human being." (Rimbaud in Fifteen)

"Does that mean... you do not yet resent the world?" "There's people I hate, but not all of'em," replied Chuuya. "I know better than to try and live a solitary existence. You used to feel the same, right?" Verlaine didn't respond. It was as if his silence itself was his answer. (Storm Bringer)

And tell him to live on:

"Chuuya... can I... ask you... a favor?" "What is it?" "Live" Randou said in almost a whisper. (Fifteen)

"Chuuya-live." (Verlaine in Storm Bringer)

Chuya manages to inspire all these people. At the same time, he is inspired back by them:

I was blessed with wonderful friends. That's all. I could have been in your situation, and you could have been in mine. (Chuya to Verlaine in Storm Bringer)

He integrates all his loved ones in who he is:

He (probably) imitates Hirotsu's habit to wear gloves and to take them away, when he is getting serious. This mannerism partially substitutes his practice to fight with the hands in the pockets

He is given his motorcycle by Albatross and keeps it as a memory of the Flags

He wears Verlaine's hat, which is really a gift from all three Chuya's key parental figures:

1- Rimbaud creates it for Verlaine

Once Verlaine puts on the hat, the fabric lining acts like coils, deflecting any external command sequences that could tamper with his mind. In other words, the wearer can control command sequences at will. With this hat, Verlaine is one step closer to becoming a human with free will. (Rimbaud in Storm Bringer)

2- Verlaine passes it down to Chuya

"You really like that hat, huh? That was his, right?" "Yeah, I'd rather not wear my brother's hand-me-downs, but it's got some pretty useful functions." (Shirase and Chuya in Storm Bringer)

3- Mori gives it to Chuya as a gift when he joins the mafia

"What's the hat for?" "It signifies your acceptance into the Mafia," Mori explained with a smile as he stood facing Chuuya. "Whoever recruits a new member into the organization usually looks after them as well. It's custom to gift the new recruit with something they can wear as a symbol of that bond." (Fifteen)

As a result, Chuya's hat is an object full of symbolism:

Within the darkness, a shadow of a hat lightly dances.

It is both shadow (a shadow of a hat) and light (within the darkness, it dances). On the one hand it is the key to Corruption, so to chaos. On the other hand it gives Chuya the power to control this chaos to an extent.

It is both what grants Chuya's free will and what threatens his autonomy:

It describes Chuya's bond with Mori, which is contradictory. Mori blackmails Chuya to join the mafia and controls him. He also offers Chuya a family (heart) and an insight on leadership (mind).

It represents Chuya's bond with Rimbaud and Verlaine, who are Chuya's literary parents, as their real life counterparts inspired Chuya Nakahara's poetry. In general, Chuya's past lowkey alludes to the true poet's one, at least metaphorically.

Nakahara Chuya is born in a rather wealthy family and forced by his father to pursue medicine studies. However, he discovers poetry when he is 8 years old and his younger brother dies. Later on, he rebels against his father's education and is inspired by Rimbaud and Verlaine's works. He imitates both their poems and their dandy life-style.

Similarly, BSD Chuya finds himself trapped until he is symbolically awaken to literature (break out of the lab) by Rimbaud and Verlaine. Here, his poetry (Upon The Tainted Sorrow) is set free and Chuya is reborn:

Those newborn cries filled the outside world in the form of flames. The raging flames brought destruction to the surface for as far as the eye could see. And thus, " " was born. (Fifteen)

Interestingly, Chuya is 7 or 8, when Rimbaud and Verlaine arrive in his life. Moreover, his survival and freedom come at the cost of his other self (his clone/the original Chuya). Just like Nakahara Chuya's first poem is the result of his grief for his brother's death.

In other words, Chuya is Rimbaud and Verlaine's literary child. He is what their bond leaves behind. This is why initially they both strongly project on Chuya, but eventually let him go. Isn't it normal for a parent to see themselves in their child? And isn't it normal for the child to imitate the parents to an extent? And yet, the child is his own person. Just like this, Chuya is strongly defined by both Rimbaud and Verlaine, but he is growing into himself:

"It's okay. The Port Mafia is my family now" (Chuya in Storm Bringer)

So, who is Chuya? It's easy, really. He is a Port Mafia Executive (and probably the next Port Mafia boss). Right now, he needs to define his role within the organization and outside Mori. As a matter of fact, Mori is Chuya's third father, so to become an adult, Chuya needs to outgrow him. Just like he did with Rimbaud and Verlaine. Only then, he will truly choose who Chuya Nakahara is.

[oceaneyesinla]

This is silly and maybe a little OOC, but I love Chuuya more than life itself and he deserves to be happy <3

You've seen the way Chuuya's eyes linger on the posters for the shelter as you pass, and you would be a fool to miss the way he slows down whenever you walk past a puppy in the street, relying on you holding his hand to make sure he doesn't walk straight into a lamppost.

It's adorable. One of the most dangerous men in Yokohama, a feared Port Mafia executive with a rap sheet longer than he is tall, and he can't help the little smile on his face whenever he sees a dog.

You know he's been quietly scheming for years at this point, trying to find to mesh his the demands of his work and his desire for a four legged companion. You can't watch any longer. You can't watch him find a litter of puppies, big smile on his face, only for that smile to fall into a sad frown as he reluctantly hands them over to the shelter.

So you make your own scheme. It involves some negotiation, and more than a little bribery, but you find a way to make it work. Now the only part left is surprising Chuuya, and that's your favourite part of the mission.

He doesn't suspect a thing as you lead him down the street, his fingers interlaced with yours and his hoodie wrapped around you. It's almost too easy to get him exactly where you want him and you know the moment he realises just where you are because he stops, tugging you to a halt with him.

You're in front of the door to the shelter, and your unoccupied hand is already on the handle. You've never seen those pretty blue eyes so cautiously hopeful and you have to hold back the most undignified noises at just how cute he looks.

"Why are we here?" His head tilts a little and you can't help but smile.

"We're getting a dog, obviously."

"What do you mean, 'obviously'? There's no way this will work out. I leave the apartment for days at a time, and you have to work too." That spark in his eye is dying out, and you don't like that at all.

"Don't worry your pretty little head about a thing!" You release the door handle to playfully bop his nose, and a little laugh escapes you as he tries and fails to look put out at the action, "Mori-san said we can bring them into the office as long as they're well behaved, and Higuchi and Gin will look after them if we're both busy."

Chuuya just blinks at you, taking a moment to find his voice, "You ... you went to the boss about us getting a dog?"

You shrug; it really isn't a big deal - there's precious little you wouldn't do for one Nakahara Chuuya. The way he's staring at you like he's planning your wedding, though, suggests it might be a big deal to him.

Your voice softens as you smile at him, "You've wanted this for ages. I just want you to be happy."

The grin you get in return is nothing short of radiant, and you let out a little squeal as he lifts you up and spins you round. As quick as he does that, he's setting you back on your feet, grabbing your hand and all but dragging you into the building. You're not sure you've ever seen him this excited, and you quietly take in his joy, commiting every smile and every word to memory. After all, that's why you did all this - for him.

[pearcesvn]

bf!chuuya who treats you like a princess.

warnings: a looot of fluff and some smut... :3

you walk out of the bathroom, and chuuya looks at you from the kitchen, with a smile, he walks to you, and hugs you tight. "hey baby.. looking so pretty ah? i want to spoil you today, do you want to go shopping? i'll pay for everything you want." you nod and smile at him, he gives you a small peck on the lips.

before going to the bedroom with you to change. he smirks, and before you even get to the walk-in closet, he pushed you down gently on the bed, and asks "may I kiss you?" you turn red immediately, your whole face heats up, but you nod. he smiles and kisses you passionately, his hand goes to your thigh, caressing it gently, his other hand behind your back, "you're so soft... and you smell so good." "chuuya.. l-let's just.. do this later." he sighs disappointedly, but agrees, then you two decide to change so that you can go out to the mall.

you decided to wear a white lace dress, while chuuya went with a blue button down and trousers, he's also wearing a gold watch, he looks at you lovingly, and says "just like a princess..." he takes your hand, and kisses your cheek. he smells so good.. and so expensive. he opens the car door for you, then while driving, he keeps his hand on your thigh, and looks at you from time to time. "why do you keep looking at me?" you say, "you're just so pretty.. i can't explain it." he says, with his eyes on the road, and one hand on the wheel. your face turns even more red, "you're so corny, you know that?" "hm, am i that corny?" he says, after parking, he opens the door for you, and then lets you hold onto his arm while walking.

"look at this, baby, this would look cute on you." he says, showing you a bag, it wasn't really your type, "that does look cute but i'll look for a few more bags, chuuya" he fake pouts, and waits for you while you look for bags, you show him a few that you like, and he compliments each one. you couldn't decide, but there was a bag that you really wanted, but it's too out of the budget. (who even has a budget? imagine... i spend all my money online..)

"how about we go and eat? i'm so hungry..." you say, and he responds "sure, what do you want?" him, you wanted him! jokes aside, you really wanted some pastries, "i want some cake, and some coffee or boba." he nods, and he paid for everything you wanted. while you were eating, you were looking around, and he just started feeding you, just like a princess.

after shopping, chuuya carried all of the things that you bought (with his money! of course!) "i have a surprise for you, baby." he says, as he opens the car door for you. he gets in and is holding a big bag, "what is that, chuuya?" "i saw you eyeing that big bag earlier, i got it while you were in the washroom." you were too stunned to speak, you turn red, and hug him immediately.

when the two of you got home, chuuya lifts you up from the passenger seat, and goes to the bedroom.

"now that we're home, can we continue what we were doing earlier?" you nod, and he kisses you passionately, while slowly taking off your dress, kissing you everywhere until you were all naked. he then goes down in-between your thighs, and starts to tease you. "how does that feel?" you moan softly, burying your face in the pillow, he smirks, "look at me, baby" he says, before taking off.. his boxers. "d-do we have condoms..?" you ask, feeling so embarrassed. he nods, before focusing on your bosoms, touching them gently, before caressing them, "so soft.. why are you so soft, baby? you're like a pillow.."

after a while of making out, he puts on the condom and then starts to slowly enter, you feel a bulge in your stomach, you look down, and see an imprint of his cock, making you moan even more, he starts to go fast, as tears fall down your eyes due to the pain, "oh baby, am i hurting you? i can stop if you want me to." you shook your head, and after a while of screaming out his name, the two of you were done.

he then wipes off his mess off of you, and prepares you a bath, he then lifts you up from the bed, and joins you in the tub, cleaning you gently. "your body is absolutely beautiful.. even your flaws." he kisses your forehead after bathing, and that night, you got knocked out, he's holding you close to his body, and whispers "i love you" with a smile.

THIS IS SO CORNYYYYWIAGAKWHLQHSKSHD anyway I DONT KNOW HOW TO WRITE SMUT so please i apologize if its bad 🙏

chuuya is so hot i want him inside of me ugh i want ugheehwjnskwjakwkwnwkeje meow wmekwmekwowow @tsjmra love u sorry late

[nighttimeebony]

Unanswered questions about Dazai's backstory that are driving me fucking insane

(Yeah, so, completely against my will, Bungou Stray Dogs has been consuming every last neuron in my brain for the past several weeks, so I thought I'd share my unraveling)

(mentions of eye injuries and self-harm/attempted suicide below the cut, if you're sensitive to those kinds of things).

(1) In season 2, episode 3, when Ango turns out to be a spy in the Port Mafia, Dazai says, "Everything I never want to lose is always lost. Everything worth wanting is lost the moment I obtain it. And nothing I pursue is worth the cost of prolonging this life, this suffering." Like! What the fuck does this mean?!?!! What happened in Dazai's life that made him think this? The way he says it indicates that him "losing things he wants to keep" has happened often enough for it to become a pattern for him, so what was Dazai talking about when he said this?

(2) In season 3, episode 3, why did Dazai say "thank you" to the old Port Mafia boss when he killed Rimbaud's double of him?

In the sub, he says "let me thank you for once," and in the dub, he says "I'll never get another chance to say this, so thank you". Why did he say that?

(3) Why did Dazai keep his eye covered as a teenager? At first, I assumed it was because Dazai had some kind of injury that he was covering, considering how easily it bled every time Dazai sustained some kind of damage to his head or face, but never to the eye directly. In episode 1 of season 2, when a bullet grazes the side of his face, his eye starts to bleed

and the same thing happens again in episode 1 of season 3 when Chuuya kicks him into a wall.

BUT! When Oda's dying and he pulls Dazai's bandages off, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with his eye. And it can't be that Dazai was just wearing them as some kind of intimidation tactic; there had to have been something wrong with it, because we see it bleed twice (even though the eye itself never sustained any direct injury), but there is no visual indication that anything is wrong with his eye, either in the flashbacks or in the present (no scars, seemingly no vision issues, and no discoloration in the eye like you might expect to see as a result of permanent damage). So I am asking WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE BANDAGES FOR

(4) Where did Dazai come from before he was in the Port Mafia? We know that he was a witness to the old boss's murder when he was 14, but Dazai wasn't an official Mafia member until he was 15 when Mori tasked him to work the Arahabaki case. Was Dazai always connected to the Mafia in some way, or did he come from a normal family before Mori inducted him?

(5) FOLLOWING THAT: where are Dazai's parents? In the "Fifteen" novel, it's stated that Dazai wasn't a mere orphan that Mori just picked up, but we don't know if Dazai's parents are dead or alive or where they would be if they were alive.

(6) What are Dazai's bandages actually for? Given Dazai's track record of suicide attempts, it's a common theory that the bandages are to hide self harm scars (I subscribe to this theory myself, as it's the most plausible), but we don't actually know because we've never seen Dazai without his bandages before.

EDIT: (7) Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. In season 3, episode 2-

What is the motivation behind this scene? Why does Dazai keep shooting? Why does he think that the soldier deserved to suffer more? Dazai offers the guy a more merciful death, but Dazai also thinks that a merciful death is "more than he deserves". Why does Dazai think this? This can't just be about this one soldier, because Dazai hasn't had any kind of encounter with him before this. Dazai is clearly having some kind of small breakdown, but what triggered it and why?

[diagonal-queen]

HELP I'm sorry but this idea literally got in my head😭😭

What if Manipulative S/o with Chuuya,Dazai and Fyodor?

Them with a manipulative S/O

♡ pairing: Chuuya Nakahara, Dazai Osamu, Fyodor Dostoyevsky x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: How are these men with a manipulative partner?

♡ cw: Swearing, manipulation, sexual stuff (Fyodor, you're better than this)

note: Ngl I was stumped with this one for a bit, didn't write a single part of it, and then one night I just wrote the whole damn thing in like ten minutes. Writing's a weird thing sometimes eh? Anyways apologies for errors anon and I hope you enjoy x

Chuuya:

If you're another mafioso and you use your Machiavellian techniques to interrogate people, Chuuya finds that hot (he's so whipped T-T)

But if you were ever to try and be manipulative with him? He'd probably figure it out relatively quickly and he'd be pretty upset about it. It feels to him as if you think he's unintelligent or something

He also wouldn't be such a fan if you tried to manipulate other members of the Port Mafia (especially if he's close with them like Kouyou)

Chuuya would prefer if you kept it for work and work only, because he values honesty and is more comfortable knowing that you trust him and vice versa

If it's like a trauma response or something though he's more understanding and helps you work on dismantling the habit in healthy and effective ways <3

Unlike the compulsive lying he would NOT consult Mori about this, because let's be real you probably got some of it from him

Eventually Chuuya might take a more passive role and just let you do your thing as long as you leave him out of it. If you're honest with him he'll be happy

Use your manipulation against Dazai (or at least try to)? You got yourself a loyal man for life ✊✊

Dazai:

Y'know that trope when a dude will like dreamily watch their partner with hearts in his eyes as they do some badass shit? That's literally Dazai when you're fucking with people

Especially other members of the ADA oh my god you guys are such menaces (the only one who can see through your bullshit is Ranpo but do you really think he's gonna put in the effort to stop you guys? No. That's what I thought)

But if you were to try and manipulate him, his attitude would change up real quick.

He lowkey takes it as an insult to his intelligence and also takes it pretty personal regardless of who you treat the same way. How can he not? You're literally his partner

You'd learn not to ever try crossing him, in a serious way at least- you'd definitely still play games and tease each other

If you're like super manipulative, even Dazai would have to be like 'hey! stop'. I feel like it would just remind him of his past self and he wouldn't like that

Like Chuuya he also prefers that, when it comes to more serious things, you're honest with him. He wants to be able to trust you

I mean either way he'd be able to catch up with you, so I guess it's not really a practical issue. Just be nice to him, alright?

Fyodor:

I ought to immediately establish that you're literally not getting past this man at all, ever

You will never be able to trick him, lie to him, or have any sway over anything he does at all. That being said, he actually loves the way you are

Fyodor definitely has a god complex and the fact that you can't get anything past him is definitely boosting said god complex. Though he's always like 'nobody gets me I'm too smart' we know that he secretly enjoys being better than everyone else let's be real

He thinks it's cute, but he will very much still give you ~appropriate punishments~ for your bad behaviour

Definitely uses you for the DOA's benefit in some way. Though it would definitely be with your consent because he knows you're not an idiot (and also why wouldn't you be on board tbh)

Sigma is probably a little wary around you because of how similar you are to your boyfriend (and obviously Mykola loves you he's your bestie)

You two definitely play a lot of mind games with one another for entertainment, as well as skill-based games like chess and poker (is that skill based? I've never played it lmao)

In conclusion, power couple of the fucking century

taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fedyushka, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl

[ruified]

the long awaited review of storm bringer

sorry this took me so long to do i had some stuff happening

THIS ONE WILL BE LONG SO GET READY!!

Bang!

A hollow blast echoed through the street.

Chuuya stood stock-still as numerous bloodlike streams slid down his head-from multicolored party streamers.

"Happy one-year Port Mafia anniversary, Chuuya!" The pool hall rang with the five men's cheerful shouts. Chuuya looked around the room with an annoyed glare.

"..What is wrong with you people?"

first of all i love the flags dearly, i always have ever since i saw the stageplay but the ln really just sealed the deal for me <3

of course, getting attached was a BAD IDEA but anyway

"Now I get it!" His voice was unnecessarily loud. "You thought you could pull a fast one on me, showin' me this so I'd get all weepy and apologize! That's what's goin' on, isn't it?!"

"Hmm? No, actually, we—"

now here we have chuuya not believing the gift from the flags he received was genuine and it makes me wonder how more distrustful he had become since joining the pm :(

Up until a few minutes ago, there were six people in the room... but now there were seven.

"No need to clap," said the seventh man.

I LOVED ADAMS ENTRANCE SO MUCH MORE IN THE LN ITS SO FUNNY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH he’s so silly guys live laugh love adam frankenstein

"Chuuya, you cannot defeat Verlaine alone, which is why I was sent here. He is no ordinary assassin. Paul Verlaine is the king of assassins—and your elder brother."

now i just find it interesting that despite not biologically being related, adam still refers to paul as chuuya’s brother

i always thought paul was simply a self proclaimed brother but adam’s wording suggests otherwise

"Yeah, this is my problem," began Chuuya, standing in front of the closed door. "But if something like this happened to one of you guys, I don't think I could just ignore it. I'd try to help whether you liked it or not; I bet the rest of you'd feel the same way. So, detective, spit it out and tell them, too, or I'm not gonna cooperate."

The group stared at him, wide-eyed and impressed.

"Hey, did you guys hear that?" asked Piano Man.

"I did," Iceman said with a nod.

"I forgot to turn on my tape recorder." Lippmann gave a faint smirk.

"Tsk. On second thought, I'm just gonna handle this on my own."

"No way, man! No take-backs! I'm not letting you out that door."

this was so cute guys, i love the moment of vulnerability and the way they tease him like older brothers

It was Dazai's dark figure. Chuuya tried calling out to him, straining his voice, until he finally regained consciousness.

He was lying in front of that pool hall: Old World. He was no longer focused on Dazai but the inside of the hall. The undeniable stench of blood filled the air.

it’s the fact that he knew to bring him to old world which on the one hand is sweet but the other hand it’s… suspicious

"I'm gonna save you! Hold on!"

It was evident that there was no saving him, even without getting closer for a better look. His abdomen was torn open, exposing his ribcage.

"I'm sorry, Chuuya... He got me. I can't see... I can't even feel my legs anymore," Albatross gurgled in a whisper. His eyes were no longer seeing the world of the living. His legs were crushed from the knees down as well.

"But I saved Doc. I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him out of the attack's way," said Albatross. "Everyone else is dead.

And I'm gonna die, too. But Doc... He needs your help..."

Albatross's right hand was clutching onto Doc's collar like a treasure he held dear. Doc's eyes were closed as if he were sleep-ing, and he didn't have a scratch on his body—his upper body, that is. There was nothing left of Doc from the waist down.

"…"

Chuuya groaned and clenched his jaw tight. He had to consciously fight the urge to scream.

"All right," Chuuya replied evenly, keeping his emotions at bay.

"I'll take care of Doc. He's gonna be okay thanks to you. You always were amazing like that. You should be proud."

albatross’ death actually made me ill so i’m sharing it with you all now

"Yeah, it's true." His voice rang of bitterness. It sounded as if he would have rather died than admit it. "But I can't get in touch with him. Whatever. Hope he's dead in a ditch somewhere."

"I see." I, however, believed that we would be in trouble if we lost an ideal player for the mission. "Can you trust this individual?"

"Trust him? No way," Master Chuuya spat. "He's a real piece of shit. Got a twisted personality to go with it, too. He's the kind of guy who'd try to sell water to someone who was drowning. What makes him even scarier, though, is that he'd actually pull it off. He's sharp in a bad kind of way. But we won't be able to beat Verlaine without him."

i love the way he describes dazai it’s so funny

Those who knew Dazai didn't dare come near his home-not even his Port Mafia subordinates-and not because of how eerie the area was. Rather, nobody knew how Dazai would react when someone invaded his private space. Perhaps he would tear off their limbs and kill them, or perhaps he would welcome them with open arms and a cup of tea. Nobody could understand how Dazai worked.

what a goofy fella

"Charming place you have here, Dazai," came a lighthearted voice. "What frightens you so much that you choose to live in such a dreary place? Real estate tax?"

verlaine says this… we’re supposed to be scared of this guy? BRO IS GOOFY

"Gimme your pen."

"Be my guest."

After grabbing the pen that was handed to him, Chuuya effortlessly scrawled something within the signature column at the bottom of the document. When the detective leaned forward to check the signature, he was met with the following words:

Eat shit.

Chuuya then tossed the pen on the desk, wrapped his arms behind his head, leaned back in his chair, and put his feet up.

he’s such an ass i love him so much

"I see." A self-deprecating smirk played on his lips. "But, detective..."

Chuuya's eyes had clouded over, shrouded in darkness.

"…you should probably save your sympathy for a fellow human."

he was already questioning his humanity despite not having been to the lab yet and it hurts so bad guys :(

"Chuuya's not with you? Good grief. He's even late to important events like this." Verlaine's tone was casual and carefree, even. "I bet he would show up late to a first date, too. You know, as his brother, I worry about him. Sigh..."

verlaine doing shit like this again

"He—Chuuya—was wearing a military uniform I think he stole from somewhere. He was a huge mess. His face and hair were filthy. He wasn't wearing shoes, either," Shirase continued, voice quavering. "We—the Sheep's original members—thought he was some orphan living on the streets. He spoke to us first.

"What's that square thing?' is what he said."

Shirase looked down at the ground as if he was desperately trying to remember every detail that happened that day.

"I had no idea what he was talking about... I thought he was just weird. That's when he said, 'Tell me what that square thing is in your hand. Right now.'"

Shirase lifted his gaze and idly stared into the distance.

"I was holding a slice of bread."

A deep silence reigned over the corridor, eerily so, especially after the destruction that preceded it. Verlaine quietly listened to the story.

"When I told him it was bread, he asked, 'Can you eat it?' Then when I went 'Yeah' and tore off a piece and ate it to show him, he did the last thing I was expecting him to do. He fainted, like he was out of batteries. It wasn't until I went over to check up on him that I noticed how skinny he was. He looked half dead. The others were weirded out and didn't want anything to do with him, but I gave him bread and some water. After convincing the group, I took him with me to the Sheep hideout in the sewers."

chuuya nakahara you are sickening

"Hey, don't look so worried! It'll be fine! I was the brains of the Sheep, and you're gonna have me on your side now, so there's nothing to worry about! I'll help you find the next target in no time!"

My arithmetic operator indicated it was highly probable Shirase was not the brains of anything but simply was useless in every other regard. I immediately shut down the operation. I did not want to know the truth.

I LOVE ADAM SO MUCH HES SO FUNNY

Master Chuuya watched Shirase flail his arms about for a full ten seconds before deeply sighing.

"What are you lookin' at me like that for?!" Shirase demanded.

"Nothing... If I told ya, it'd just make things worse," Master Chuuya said before averting his gaze.

they’re so childish too i love them

"Sigh... Somebody call a wahmbulance for this guy, seriously."

chuuya making fun of shirase again

Verlaine stood in mute amazement for a few moments before nodding as if he had figured out what was going on. "Now I get it. I finally see how you two did it."

Master Chuuya and Dazai stood side by side. There was something surprisingly perfect about it.

Two young men with completely different personalities...

they’re so meant for each other guys it’s crazy

"You messed with the wrong guy, Verlaine," Dazai said with a faint smirk. "I know exactly how to deal with someone who can manipulate gravity. Day in and day out, I've spent every waking and sleeping moment think about how I can annoy Chuuya."

he’s literally obsessed with him

After staring in mute amazement for a brief moment, his lips eased into a smile.

"Show-off."

It was an annoyed yet relieved smile. He then promptly began giving orders into the radio.

"Everyone, prepare for battle. Chuuya is heading toward the target."

why is he as a man amazed by another man

"Incredible," a dumbfounded Dazai muttered as he watched from the top of the gas tank. "So this is the power of Arahabaki."

like he literally is so captivated by chuuya throughout this entire scene, every time they mention dazai it’s like “he watched in absolute awe” or something

"So that's Arahabaki's—that's Chuuya's true form," Dazai muttered feverishly as he stared up from the surface.

he’s so down bad

After limply floating in the air for a few sec-onds, the wings on Chuuya's back vanished, and he slowly began to fall.

Until Dazai caught him.

…

"Sleep well, Chuuya." Dazai faintly smiled at him. "I forgot to bring a pen with me, so I won't draw on your face this time. You're welcome."

down terrible

"Wish you were me, huh? A future king needs a big city to set up base, after all!" Shirase gloated. "I learned something from all this. The mechanical detective that died, the king of assassins— they were incredible. I couldn't believe people like them actually existed. The world really is a big place! That's why I'm gonna use the gemstones I stole from the research facility to set up a base in London! The next time you see me, I'm gonna be the king of an organization even bigger than the Port Mafia. I'll make sure to keep a position open for you, Chuuya."

guys shirase is such an idiot i love him so much

“the world really is a big place!” like no shit sherlock you’re just figuring this out?

"Would you like to hear an android joke, Master Chuuya?" Chuuya stood in utter disbelief, mouth agape in astonishment.

He eventually took in a deep breath—possibly the deepest he'd ever taken. Then all of a sudden, he cracked a smile...

"Ha-ha-ha!"

...and laughed.

CHUUYA CARES ABOUT ADAM AND I SNIFF SNIFFLE EUGHHH

"I'm sorry, Rimbaud," he said in almost a whisper as he clenched his jaw. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't treat you like the friend you were. I'm sorry I couldn't thank you for the present you gave me on my birthday. And now that you're no longer here... Now I'm just so terribly sad."

Verlaine's voice trembled as he lifted his head to the heavens and closed his eyes. He kept still. For the longest time, he remained there facing the night sky.

RIMLAINE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

He had no interest in the outside world. There was nobody he wanted to kill or see. The only person he missed was Rimbaud, but he was gone.

THEY MAKE ME ILL

guys i love rimlaine so much they’re so important to me

anyways those were my quotes hehe hope you enjoyed uhhh GO READ STORMBRINGER ITS PHENOMENAL

[helplessautomaton]

My Bloody Valentines ‧₊˚☁️⋅♡𓂃ִֶָ࣪☾。

-Writing event (CLOSED)

EDIT: added more prompts! go wild

hello!!, figuring since valentines is coming up i wanted to do something along these lines and this is what i came up with. all of these will be gender neutral when it comes to the reader. do feel to request multiple (max 2) prompts in, thank you!

Edit: for posting, they will be posted one every day, may do two post one day but dont count on it.

Characters im doing for this: Jouno, Tecchou, Nikolai, Chuuya, Ranpo, Tachihara, Poe, Sigma, Atsushi, Mushitaro, Akutagawa, Lucy.

just going small for now cause i dont want to overwhelm myself, have fun!

Prompts:

1, “you know i wasn't lying when i said i'd kill for you” 2, “even if you do hate me, it doesn't matter, i really love you” 3, “don't you see? I'm the only one who really cares for you”

4, “i'm so glad you feel the same cause i refuse to leave you” 5, “you're my only reason im doing this” 6, “I love it when you scream and it's all because of me!”

7, “don't you see the lengths I'm going for you?” 8, “someday i wish to eat your heart and maybe then we'll be together in eternity.” 9, “I hope you know, we will die together and there's nothing stopping that.”

10, “i.. i promise there is nothing in the candy.” 11, “all my dreams are full of you.” 12, “please.. just let me hold you.”

13, “Keep looking at others and I will gift you their eyes.” 14, “you’re gonna love me back.” 15, “stop crying, please stop crying, you’re ruining our perfect day together..”

16, “don't worry, this blood isn't mine” 17, “your tears are because you’re happy right? 18, “you don't get it, i'm the only one who understands you!”

19, “I'm gonna find out about them eventually and when I do they will be out of the way and it will just be us.” 20, “why are you sad? Did someone hurt you?, i’ll get rid of them for you” 21, “I don't regret any of the blood I have gotten on my hands, it's for you and only you!”

22, “why can't you accept that you’re mine and everyone who gets in the way will end up dead?” 23, “I warned you, now they’re dead and it's all because you didn't listen dear.” 24, “sorry for the mess! Red looks so pretty on you anyways”

25, “stop calling me those names, i understand you’re still in shock but i'm not a monster, if i let things continue who knows what would’ve happened to you!” 26, ‘you don't understand the lengths I'm willing to go through to keep you safe, even if it means going against what I think is right. 27, “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you’ll understand eventually why I had to do this.. Stop it with those eyes and tears please..”

[etrevil]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....

So sorry for the late answer!

1. Athanasia de Alger Obelia (Who Made Me A Princess)

First hyperfixation, the manhwa I saw from start to finish. Art is just absolutely beautiful and I've been attached from the very start. Her character arc surrounding her father, Claude, had me clutching my pearls and sobbing my eyes out.

2. Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Strongest hyperfixation on the series yet. There's a certain feel I get whenever I see or read content about him. Do I relate to him? Concerningly. But it's the sort of connectedness I feel when reading what Odasaku thinks of Dazai and me agreeing and being called out half of the time lol. Lastly, he's just so pretty.

3. Chuuya Nakahara (Bungou Stray Dogs)

This man's backstory has me in a chokehold. He's gone through so much shit but, compared to other characters, he remains a "good" man. Such a complex character I can't get enough of tbh. Asagiri really paired the donut man and one of the most beautiful written characters together and I love it/pos. Lastly, also very pretty. Imagining him together with Dazai, whether platonic or romantic, is also a treat.

4. Wilbur Soot (dsmp, qsmp, general yt)

His content just, helped me get through quarantine. Also his songs are just bangers, and Lovejoy is one of my top favorite bands next to The Neighborhood.

5. Kim Dokja (Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint)

One of the first Korean novels I've ever read and finished. He is just such a well-done character, and ORV as a story in general should become a literary classic (in my humble opinion). The way he seeks comfort in a story and is willing to stay until its very end, I relate to that so much, and I just feel for this tragedy-surrounded man. I wish only the best for him and his company.

6. Cale Henituse (Trash of the Count's Family)

I remember reading the novel in its early stages and waking up for school, to then eat cereal and slowly finish reading what's been published in the dim light. Haven't touched the second book yet, but the first book was just, woah. Amazing. Rollercoaster ride. Our young lord really should start looking out for his health more, everyone's so worried.

7. Han Sooyoung (Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint)

Her story arc of being an antagonist, to the third member of their trio, and [spoiler], was an absolute blast. Her character was written with such a personality she touched my heart with her spunk and gentle care towards her friends. What she's done for KDJ is absolutely what tore my heart out. She deserves so much. They all do. Speaks even more to me since I'm a writer. Love her with all my heart <3.

8. Achilles (Greek Mythos, the Song of Achilles)

He amuses me. His rage, his reactions, the slaughter he made across the battlefield, and the way he eventually died. The fact we have historical evidence from a vase that people back then saw him rolled up into a blanket burrito during his sulking period. That he sent out one of his "closest" men in his own armory and grew enraged (understatement) when he returned as a corpse. I just, love him. Words cannot explain how I hold him, and Patroclus, to a high regard in my heart.

9. Tallulah (qsmp)

Best egg child to ever exist. Second is Chayanne. The admin for this character just stole us from the very start. Deserves a thousand bamboo flutes.

10. Ayna and Ranonthean (Secret Lady)

Might be considered cheating but these two are a couple and the toxicity cannot exist without the other. The slow unfurling of how their love story that led to the actual FL and ML's current predicament (read the story it's so good) absolutely rocked my shit. Like, omfg their children. Her family. Fate itself. I wanna sock Fate in the face. They're in love, but their love cannot thrive in a place like that. At least not for long. And it shows; the chapter this image is from, side story 11, has me by the throat. Banana-nim's art just makes everything better. They're relatively good for each other, but because of the situations forced on them, shit happens. Doomed by the narrative indeed.

Special manhwa couple mentions:

Angela and Rayburn, "I Stan the Prince"

Penelope and Callisto, "Death is The Only Ending for the Villainess"

Ines and Carcel, "This Marriage was Bound to Fail Anyway"

Shuri and Nora, "Stepmother's Marchen"

Eris and Anakin, "Kill The Villainess"

Raeliana and Noah, "Why Raeliana Ended Up at the Duke's Manor"

[freakroth]

Young Love [Chapter 4]

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I'm to lazy to link the other chapters just go find them yourself

i haven't read this chapter in over 3 months so i have no idea if i should add a tw

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Y/N's POV:

It's been about 4 weeks since Chuuya apologized to me. We've become pretty good friends, but i'm still scared to show my real personality. 

Right now me, Sigma, Dazai and Chuuya are at a karaoke bar drinking and have fun.

"wake me up inside! (I can't wake up) wake me up inside, (Save me) call my name and save me from the dark, (Wake me up) bid my blood to run, (I can't wake up) before I come undone. (Save me) save me from the nothing I've become!" I sing while being pretty drunk. 

"Bring me to life! I've been living a lie! There's nothing inside! Bring me to life!" Sigma sings with me while Dazai records us. Chuuya is already asleep drunk of his ass, and his dumbass said he wasn't a lightweight. 

After we are done singing i plop onto the couch next to dazai who is also drunk. I pull Sigma(who is much taller then me) onto my lap. "Did you know you can get pimples on your pubic area..?" i asks Dazai and Sigma. They both look confused "you can?" Sigma says while i wrap my arms around his waist. 

Suddenly i push Sigma of my lap making him fall on the floor "i'm gonna sing another song" i get of the couch and grab the microphone.

"Touch me, yeah, I want you to touch me there. Make me feel like I am breathing, Feel like I am human" I sing and after i finish i hear Sigma and Dazai clapping for me.

"I didn't know you could sing so well Y/N!" Dazai says. "oh, and i could touch you if you know what i mean~" Dazai says in a flirty tone and i blush a bit. 'hes drunk, really drunk' i think to myself. "no thanks, i'd rather have Sigma touch me and kiss me!" i say and see Sigma blush. "Ooo~" Dazai teases Simga. 

"Come on! you have to kiss him! its the rules!" Yasano tells me. shes obviously very drunk. "Just kiss Dazai already!" she whines "Fine Fine" i sigh and get up. i almost trip and fall while walking because of all of the alcohol i've had. 

"Sup mamasita" Dazai says as i walk up to him. "..huh..? what are-" before he can ask me what i'm doing i slam my lips against his. as we kiss i hear the other people in the crowd cheering for us. 

We both melt into the kiss and i feel Dazai's hands wrap around my waist and i end up on his lap. I feel his toung enter my mouth and my hand brushes through his brunette hair as we make out.

"Okay thats enough you two!" Yasano yells. As i pull away i start panting trying to catch my breath and i see Dazai do the same. I get of his lap and sit down next to him and Sigma.

"..what are you guys doing..?" i hear Chuuya ask, he must have woke up because of the noise everyone was making. "Spin the bottle!" Dazai says and gets up and sits down next to him on the couch. "I'm not gonna play anymore since my beautiful boyfriend is awake!" Dazai says.

We all sit in a ring on the floor while waiting for the bottle to stop spinning to see who Sigma has to kiss. 'oh its gonna land on Lucy...? is that her name? oh a fly" i think as my attention turns to the fly and i stop paying attention to the game.

Suddenly i feel someone grab my jaw and kiss me. I open my eyes and see its Sigma. I start to melt into the kiss and i feel Sigma's hand caress my hair. We both pull away for a bit and go back to making out. 'why does this feel so good?' i think as i put my hand on his cheek. His lips feel so soft against mine, and i can taste his strawberry lip gloss.

When we finally pull away theres some saliva connecting our mouths. I try to catch my breath after what just happened. 'I JUST KISSED TWO PEOPLE IN ONE NIGHT?!' I think to myself and i feel my face getting hotter. "you okay Y/N..? you look a bit red.." Sigma asks me and touches my forehead. "you're burning up, i can take you back if you want.." He says and i look around and see everyone else passed out, drinking, laughing and playing other games while really drunk. 

"okay.. thanks.." i say and smile.

The next day i wake up and feel something under me "..huh..?" i look down and see Sigma laying under me. I start to blush a lot 'WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHY AM I LAYING ON SIGMA DID WE HAVE SEX???' I start to imagen dirty stuff that could have happened last night and i squirm at the idea of me and Sigma doing it.

I feel some movement under me and see that Sigma is waking up. "..what time is it..?" he asks and yawns. i check my phone "8:30.." i say and freeze, i see that Sigma also freezes. ".Y/N.. what was your first class today..?" Sigma asks "P.E.." i answer "yeah your dead" Sigma says and i gulp. "why don't we just call in sick today? i mean a lot of people were out drinking last night to celebrate passing their first test of this school year.." i say. "i'm not sure th-" before Sigma can answer Nikolai busts down his door. 

"I just happened to hear that you two are late for school, but no worries! i already called the principle and tolled her that you two would stay home for today!" Nikolai says proudly. "..aren't you gonna go to school today..?" Sigma asks and Nikolai suddenly remembers that hes late. "Holy shit! I'm late!" He yells before running out of the dorm to his class.

Me and Sigma giggle, i then remember that we slept in the same bed and blush a bit. Sigma notices me blushing and asks "..you okay?" "yeah.. its just.. did we do anything last night when we came back here..?" I ask nervelessly and look him in the eyes. He seems to realize what i'm thinking about and chuckles nervelessly. "N-no we didn't do.. that.. i wouldn't do that with out your full consent.. and since you were drunk you wouldn't be able to"  he says reassuringly. (CONSENT IS SEXY) 

I let out a sigh of relief "oh okay.." i lay back down on the bed "so what should we do to day? Nikolai and Fyodor aren't gonna be home for a few hours" Sigma says in a calm voice and looks down at me "we could watch a movie?" "sure" he smiles down at me and i feel my heart skip a beat 'holy shit why is he so pretty'

We both sit down on Sigma's bed after getting some snacks "what should we watch?" Sigma asks me while i get comfortable "Lets watch repo the genetic opera!" "Okay" Sigma smiles at me again and i swear starts beating faster 'holy fuck hes so cute?!? i want him to be my boyfriend!! why can't we just hold hands already?? Y/N DON'T FUCKING KISS HIM!' i think while Sigma looks for the movie.

"ngh, Graverobber and Blind mag are so hot" i fangirl over them both while Sigma chuckles "i guess you could say that" He says and i feel his arm wrap around my waist 'HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT STAY CALM STAY CALM' i feel myself turning red with the contact we have.

 i feel him take my chin and bring my face closer to his "..Y/N would you believe me if i said i have a crush on you..?" i feel his breath on my lips 'if i just move a bit closer.. we'll kiss again..' "no.. i don't see myself as that attractive.." i look away from him but he pulls me back.

"i love you Y/N.." i cover his mouth with my hand "you're lying.. you wouldn't love someone like me.." i try not to cry. "but what about our kiss last night..?" "you were drunk and i also kissed dazai.." a small tear runs down my face and Sigma wipes it away "i was never drunk.. i  only drank one glass and then i was done.."  "why would you love someone that.. thats.. fat like me..?" more tears start to fall now as i can't even believe that he would like me. "Y/N you aren't fat.." Sigma hugs me and i hug him back "but my body is so ugly..?" "its not ugly.. i love you and your body.. its perfect.." 

"Can i kiss you again?" he asks me and i nod. I melt as i feel his soft lips on mine again, i feel his hand caress my hair gently. as i pull i start to pant a bit "i really do love you, and if i'm honest i fell for you when i first saw you.." he whispers to me and i start full on sobbing. "how can you love someone like me?! how can you love someone who acts like me?" I cry as i feel wipe my tears again "shh.. shhh its okay.. mo need to cry.." "theres nothing wrong with the way you act.."

We both lay there in his bed while i cry and he comforts me. I lay on top of him while i vent about stuff that have been bothering me for years, like how i can't understand my emotions well. Through all of this Sigma is being a real sweetheart and telling me comforting words.

Sigma's POV:

After Y/N calms down, they fall asleep in my arms. I caress their hair as they sleep, i can feel their chest slowly rising and falling 'how did i get so lucky to be able to hold them in my arms?' i think to myself before Nikolai busts into my room again.

"Sigma! Mr. Fukuichi almost killed me for being late!" he whines "shh! Y/N is sleeping" I scold him and see him start to smirk "ooo~ did you and Y/N stay in bed and cuddle all day?~" he teases me and i feel my cheeks heat up a bit "SO YOU TWO DID CUDDLE ALL DAY! DID YOU HEAR THAT FYODOR?! Y/N AND SIGMA ARE CUDDLING!" He yells and runs out of the room to tell Fyodor without closing the fucking door. I sigh and feel Y/N moving at bit "Did he wake you up, Darling?" I ask them as they sit up. "..yeah.." they yawn before kissing my red cheeks. "Are you hungry? we haven't gotten out of bed at all today." "hm.. yeah" "what do you want to eat?" i ask and i see them think for a while. "How about some Pizza? we could go out and get some for us and Nikolai and Fyodor" I smile "sure"

Me and Y/N walk hand in hand to a pizza shop near the dorms, its already a bit cold outside so we're both wearing matching sweatshirts (btw y/n started at the college around September and now its early October) I hear Y/N sigh and i look at them with a worried expression "something wrong, love?" I ask and pull them closer to me "its just that i don't want winter to come since i hate the cold" I chuckle a bit and kiss them on their cheek "Don't worry, i'll always keep you warm"

While me and Y/N are walking back after getting the pizza, we see some people from our college whisper and point at Y/N. I can see how uncomfortable and nervous they are because of this. "They are probably talking about how pretty your outfit is" i try to comfort them

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I feel so sigma

Ideas for future chapters are very much needed, please comment if you have any

[nxathyx]

slandering bsd characters because I'm bored

spoilers ahead!!

°OKAY I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT AKUTAGAWA AND FYODOR KINDA LOOK LIKE MUPPETS..

LIKE WHAT IS THAT DONKEY ASS LOOKING SMILE

°nah cause bones did Akutagawa so fucking dirty on episode 4 (or 3 can't remember)

°like Bro Was supposed to be like :) BUT HE WAS 😀

°ngl it didn't even look like a smile

°OKAY WHY DOES RASHOUMON LOOK BETTER THAN AKUTAGAWA IN THE ANIME? OR AM I JUST DOWN BAD FOR A BUNCH OF BLACK DUCTAPE STRIPS FROMING INTO A PERSON

°everyone was like "oml Chuuya😻😻" in that helicopter scene while I was confused why the fuck was he standing like that, like bestie what was that stance 😭😭

°THEY MADE LUCY LOOK SO FUCKING UGLY IN THE ANIME COMPARED TO THE MANGA..

°I hate it

°anyways time for Sigma cause I'm about to have a field day shit talking his hair

°Y'ALL SEE THAT ZIG ZAG LOOKING SHIT ON HIS MIDDLE PART..

Bitch went \/\/\/\

°IN THE MANGA HIS HAIR LOOKS SILKY SMOOTH WHILE I THE ANIME IT LOOKS LIKE ITD STRAIGHT UP CUT YOUR FINGER

°Fyodor Was using Google translate while making him

°Bro tried learning on duolingo 💀💀

°fukuchi is so ugly, like I mentally gag when I see him on the screen

°okay real talk though, I don't really care for Fukuzawa

°like I just don't give a fuck about him

°NAH CAUSE THEY MAKE JOUNO LOOK LIKE HE ABOUT TO S@ SOMEONE WITH THAT DAMN SMILE

°can we talk about how fucking similar Fyodor looks to Mori, like first time I watched bsd I thought they were the same person

°nah fuck the fish eye angle let's discuss Dazais face when it looks like his eyes are about to pop out of his eye sockets💀💀

[felinelord-bowbeforemepeasant]

WARNING: BSD MANGA CHAP 109 SPOILER

I just done a post about how bones did skkk so dirty have some sleep and then wake up to the new that chap 109 is OUT

I was rushing to read this chapter cause I have school but I don't care and here is my fast reading reaction to the chapter (yes iam in my "back to school" day and yes it is early do I like going to school early-no cause all i was doing when I was in school right now is learning the rules and school history)

Warning again spoiler for chapter 109 (there are manga panel)

I was like NO SIGMA NO DON'T DO IT BABY HIS TRICKING YOU HIS ABILITY IS KILLING ANYONE WHO TOUCH HIM SIGMA NOOOOOOOO ( look at his poor hand shaking he just a 3 years old asagiri what did children done to you)

Oh hi aya how are you wait-OH SH*T RIGHT IT THE END OF THE WORLD BUT LOOK HOW BADASS SHE IS (you know I was thinking how the world caves in could be a good edit song for this)

This panel feel quite familiar I just gonna post about it later, look at aya she is experiencing psychotic applause her for pushing the table though it look quite heavy (is this the right word I trying to convert what she experiencing but I think it just some hallucination advice)

SIGMA BABY NOOO HE JUST EXPERIENCING SOME AFTER SHOCK CAUSE HE LOOK LIKE HE FAINTED BUT I DON'T KNOW IF FYODOR KILL HIM YET (I gonna be delulu I think that sigma just fainted from being information overload like atsushi)

Fyodor look so baby girl in that one panel help

UHHHHH ASAGIRI WHAT GOING ON CHUUYA IS NOT OUT OF HIS VAMPIRE AND DAZAI IS DEAD?!!! (I was so shocked my mind can't comprehend what is going on so I guess the chuuya eyes theory is out and dazai is uh gone but I just scrolling to tumblr for a bit and people say he not dead yet and look at the crack at the wall I think we just being delulu again)

.... I have no word for this panel like I have no word ( I think there is something off about chuuya here do you think that it related to the clone theory that he is not chuuya but just a clone I see a post that say why fyodor need to say a reason for chuuya to stop like he a vampire now and he listen to fyodor too)

Even though I say he is a baby girl I still think he an asshole (don't judge me I was having a mood swing because of the chapter here there so much going on)

There will be a continuing for this reaction also I think I need help cause tumblr only let me have 10 limited chapter so I need to link two post together but I don't know how so I'm just gonna repost this the add the second one

Here part 2

[madraleen]

Bungo Stray Dogs - Kafka Asagiri/Sango Harukawa Volumes 5-6: Tainted Eyes, Cats and Dogs, and Me Simping for Dazai - A Commentary (*anime spoilers)

-i'm such a simp for dazai, i saw him on the cover and was so delighted. ridiculous

-kouyou and ranpo are the same age? KOUYOU AND RANPO ARE THE SAME AGE?

-in the excitement of the anime, i don't think i appreciated properly the strength of character and the sense of self of kyouka. her will to become something else, something less sinister.

-kenji-kun <3

-okay but why is lovecraft so relatable -.- not leaving home, not wanting attention...

-i love dazai, have i mentioned that lately

-dazai's neck bandages aren't missing as often now. and it feels like the character designs are more set

-NO, DAZAI, YOU'RE NOT IN THE "with yosano-sensei we can keep ourselves healthy, as long as we don't die" GROUP, DON'T SAY "WE," JUST BE CAREFUL, YOU FUCKING DUMBASS

-DAZAI-CHUUYA POSTSCRIPT, HELP ME. i'm imagining dazai has chuuya in a chokehold, judging from chuuya's reaction

-ahaha, according to harukawa-sensei, then dazai has mafia eyes with a tiny touch of a "chance to go back" from having a stained psyche. ahaha...hah... *sob*

-well, in this volume dazai's eyes get "tainted" ie all black when he's about to interrogate kouyou, so i'll assume he's the one whose eyes get a bit tainted once their true nature comes to the surface, but i will keep a close watch on eyes from now on. i've noticed from the start that dazai's eyes span the monochrome rainbow anyway

-akutagawa be tainted to the core eyes-wise

-so when akutagawa's eyes turn white, is he vulnerable and not his usual tainted self- ARGH, am i going to be over-analyzing eyes now?!

-akutagawa and nathaniel have turned into somewhat of literary poets in their encounter, they don't usually speak like this

-honestly, props to yosano for not lopping ranpo's head off when he says "war is so boring"

-CHUUUUUYA. tainted-eyed CHUUUUUYA

-i keep voting tanizaki for the mafia because he'd fit right in, but you know what, maybe we should send them kenji-kun. he'd make everyone insane in one week tops and the mafia would be disbanded

-kenji's wide-eyed sparkly-eyed "OOH!" at chuuya? that's me when i see chuuya

-"do you think the agency is some stray dog" fukuzawa says- okay, so if the agency isn't a dog, and the mafia are dogs, it makes sense for dazai and kyouka to dislike dogs, but it's interesting that akutagawa dislikes dogs, but also he doesn't like himself very much either, so- *DEEP BREATH* i must stop with the cats and dogs thing

-ranpo, my lil bb <3

-yes yes chuuya's bio, we know, you dislike dazai as he dislikes you. sure jan. also chuuya is older by almost two months and you can't convince me they've never used that in an argument

-"dazai-san told me" DAZAI-SAN HAUNTS EVERYONE'S THOUGHTS, EVEN NAOMI'S!

-my my, what big tainted eyes you have there, mr lovecraft

-margaret's skill "able to make things wither away by exposing them to wind"?? we've barely seen that, i hope she gets to do more in the future

-i mean, kunikida my man, mr grape of wrath literally sticks seeds in his neck and grows vines, what's "simply bizarre" about lovecraft's tentacles? what, the transformation? your jinko literally transforms into a tiger

-yes, for tanizaki, naomi comes FIRST, before the agency, before good or evil or morals. to the rest of the agency, arguably the agency comes first. my man tanizaki, let me show you the way to port mafia. please child, relieve my fears. HE EVEN GOT TAINTED BLACK PUPILS FOR A BIT THERE, FFS

-me reading bsd: "mmhmm. mmhm, i see. mmhm." me reading bsd when dazai: "mmhmm :). mmhm, i see :))). mmhm :)))))."

-ONE MINUTE OF SCREEN TIME! IT WOULD HAVE TAKEN ONE MINUTE TO INCLUDE DAZAI TEASING THE DOG IN THE ANIME

-yes so, if the port mafia are dogs, and this dog barks at dazai, then dazai is a cat, and if a tiger is a cat, and natsume cat started the agency, and atsushi belongs to the agency, and the agency are the "foes" of port mafia, the agency are cats, cats vs dogs, and if dazai is a cat, then dazai decidedly belongs to the agency, do you see where i'm going with this

-aaand dazai continues to eat dog treats as though they're popcorn. okay sure

-dazai be like "only three plans? three HUNDRED plans, who do you think we are"

-dazai's "war is a living creature" fits very well with how he overpowers fyodor in the "end," with fyodor "losing" because dazai constantly readjusted his plans and improvised as things unfolded

-dazai be like "my mafia senses are tingling" when he ditches atsushi

-i'm sorry, but my man dazai is so beautiful. such a pretty man. such a pretty princess. i cannot.

-my girl higuchi doesn't have tainted eyes

-look at that man. look at that whole man. (*dazai. obviously)

-dazai is so wtf about mori-san's proposal to his returning to the port mafia that his eyes became untainted for a sec there.

-HAHAHA that's where you left the chapter?!?! WITH MORI'S QUESTION?! FOR A MONTH?! nooo!

-the bits about the actual authors are so interesting. higuchi feels nothing like the real higuchi. she feels more like her sister tbh

-re: "the heartless cur": I LOVE IT OMG. THE DAZAI-AKUTAGAWA MEETING STORY IS SO INTERESTING AND I'VE BEEN ASKING FOR IT FROM THE ANIME FOR AGES

-THE FRINGES OF AKU-KUN’S OUTFIT WOULD APPEAR TO SPROUT FLOWERS?!?! F-FLOWERS?!

-re: dazai's reputation: "he would kill his own parents in a second, take down buddha himself at first glance, and laugh it all off with cold cruelty afterward." TELL ME MORE

-dazai has a habit of letting his kouhai try to kill him before he adopts them, huh? a ceremonial ritual if you wish

-AKUTAGAWA WAS GIVEN AN ACTUAL HONEST CHOICE BY DAZAI! he would literally have provided for him and gin and then disappeared! but aku-kun chose differently!

-AND GOING BACK TO MY CATS-DOGS THING, mafia akutagawa "the heartless cur," "the silent mad dog"?? hello??