#3 hours of free time every day
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Question: Do you still do requests?
Unfortunately I don’t, all I’m taking atm are commissions (which you can find right here)
#would love to still be able to do requests#but unfortunately I only have like#3 hours of free time every day#no joke#so things are way too tight for that#😮💨🤧#creepanswers
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Me at 3 am the night before 8 am registration for next term’s classes begins
#am I going to sleep? maybe#strong maybe#the problem with doing my sets on iPad is that now that I can just. use goodnotes as a drawing app#every time I get stuck on a problem the brainrot inevitably returns and I just go doodle it before I forget it#and before I know it 2 or 3 hours are gone#maybe I should use some of my free late days on this set#it’s the second to last set of the term anyways#this has been your regularly scheduled Jen Academic Woes
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Need someone whose character interpretation I agree with completely to write a Cold War AU where they’re undercover UK vs Soviet spies trying to stop the Cold War from ending so they can keep hanging out in London and having dinner at the Ritz
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long!!! distance!!!! sucks!!!!!!
#I have no idea how long distance couples survive#I'm losing my mind over my squish being so far away#wdym I can't hug them :(#wdym there's a whole ass month left until they come back????#and like. I wanna text and call them so often but I'm scared of being too much yk#but equally it's been a week since I last heard their voice and I'm going insane#I also hate the time difference!!!!!! there's like a three hour window in which we both MIGHT be free but it's hard to coordinate :(#I just. I've never missed someone this much before#I imagine being reunited almost every day#sigh#also kinda scared about the fact that we're going to go from not having seen each other for 3 months to LIVING TOGETHER#I'm really hyped don't get me wrong#but also. aaaaaaa#(post inspired by the fact that they haven't messaged me back yet despite it being only 9am for them lol)#me? clingy? haha whaaaaaat nooooo#comso rambles#queerplatonic yearning hours#qpr yearning#queerplatonic#aroace#long distance love
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Status
Alright yeah the crash has hit. I've been thoroughly puddled this weekend.
Bright side is that it means I'm finally putting my foot down with myself and proactively doing some stuff that should help my mood (and abysmal sleep schedule) once I've been doing them for a bit, but in the mean time, I expect to be MIA for at least the next few days; maybe a week.
Sorry to folk I've just been starting stuff with! I promise I'll be back. o7
#status#complaining#ooc#(me @ me:)#(spending every single free moment reading/gaming/internet scrolling + only 3 hours a day sleeping is not a helpful stress response!!)#(and yet)#(every single time)#(ffffff anyway I'm working on it now but it's always a pain and a half crawling back out of this cycle)#(already feeling better today tho. this is the longest I've looked at a screen today)#(just wandering around doing dishes and laundry and napping with my cat)#(...not looking forward to work tomorrow but alas that's not one I can change :'D)
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the amount of math i put into figuring out my PTO is honestly so funny. i've probably spent like 2 hours this week and last week just playing with the leave calculator spreadsheet my coworker gave me. this morning i added a sheet for 2026 so now i'm calculating my PTO out that far. i basically already have a plan of how i'm taking time off for 2025 so as to maximize my time off in 2026. i dont think this is a normal level of attention to detail but at least i'm having fun
#(at my job i can accrue a certain amount of PTO that then becomes 'use or lose' because only so much carries over each year)#so by the mythical year 2026 i could in fact end up with 121 hours of use or lose by the end of it#aka i am Forced to take off 15 days (121 hrs) that year or it'll just be wiped#oh dear oh no! however could i manage to take 15 days off! <- DESPERATELY wants to be in this position as soon as possible#my issue is that i keep taking too much time off so i havent hit the maximum cap yet lmao#like if i just chilled out i could reach it next year#but chilling out is not in my vocabulary. i have places to go and people to see#therefore i cannot reach use or lose in 2025 BUT i can reach it in 2026....if i don't end up spending too much of what i accrue first#so i have vauge plans next year that havent solidified and i keep trying out stuff to see how many hours it would leave me with#historically my methods of maximizing time are:#1) work a flexible schedule with 9 hour days one pay period in order to get a day off for 'free' (this is how i'll get black friday off)#2) work over time and bank those hours as 'credit' time. i can have up to 24 hours/3 days worth of that stored#(i can easily do this long term by just like. working an extra hour every week and it'll add up lol)#3) receiving a time off award if management loves me enough (i normally get a free 8 hours award each year but i can't bet on this)#4) earning travel comp time by working overtime via work travel (such as your flight getting in at 8 pm or whatever)#5) earning normal comp time by attending a work event outside of normal hours (i.e. that time i worked on saturday)#these are all ways to get time off without dipping into PTO so that i can let the PTO accumulate#......as you can see i'm Very normal about this
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would u try
#i would take a bite#ctubbo#ctubbo fanart#i will never use the main cc tag thay is so scary i feel like im way too early 2021 pilled my username is gonna get me on a list somwhere😭😭#it is 2024#sorreyyy no big pieces lately i am in School and actually that has nothign to do with it i just like to spend 3 hours walking around my Park#IT WAS BEAUTIFUL TODAY LIKE OMG.insanw ir was 80 degrees perfect weather i Trained to school and Back it was so nice and oughgh when i went#to the park after it was LIFERLALY THE PERFECT WEATHEE like all that crazy wind from the day before GONE i was so happy and the clouds were#so beautiful i love the park i lovvee my town i literallu]t live in heaven im so serious]d#tomorrow i will make zucchini bread.....i need to write this essay too but then IM FREE i can lock in i literally finished my part for this#history project in like an hour i am a Pro Procrastinator i got that😅😅#thays it for tofay i think nothing crazy ok good night#read gourmet hound on webtoon its SOO GOOODDS every time i think of sweets i think of thay damn Webtoon#omg i need to write a rant abour that but not today.....Tomorrow maybe i have so much to say about that ok bue
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me vs over sharing
#my partner n i had a fight like 3 days ago bc they want to move out at the end of this month and i said it wouldn’t be the best time#bc my mum is having back surgery and my sister is taking the 6 & 7 year old to make it a bit easier for her#and i said i’d want to be here to help her with six damn fucking kids and they got mad at me for letting them hold us back#GIRL I HATE THIS FUCKING HOUSE I DONT WANNA BE HERE EITHER i hate the mess i’m so fucking tired of it like every space feels so overwhelming#and j can’t do anything ab it bc i fucking clean and it’s there again in a day#and my mum has the surgery the same day we have our house inspection here and it’s just A LOT AT OBCE AND THE MF WANTED TO ADD FUCKING GETTI#A HOME OOAN ON TOP OF THAY????????? be so fucking real bro anyway we argued for literally like 2 hours ab this and i’m still kinda mad ab it#but i’m gonna be Relaxed#bc like pisses me off that they think i want to be here#i’m treated like a second mother to these kids which is like fine whayever bc we live here rent free and i want to pay back in some way#but like k don’t fucking want kids i don’t want to parent i don’t want to fucking wake up in the middle of the night for milk i don’t want#to deal with tantrums like u rlly think I WANT TO BE HERE LONGER THAN ENCESSARU BRO#anyway sorry#tw: vent#「mercury speaks」
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🤞
#exams did go fairly well#hopefully nothing worse than a B but i think an A is certainly possible in at least one of them#so hopefully 🥹🥹#i did study quite a bit not as much as i hoped for but a step up from my lack of effort the last few weeks#so hopefully i can get back to better routines now#i mean i do know probably many didn't study at all for these exams as they were not that serious#buuut if you want a good grade i feel like you have to at least i studied for like 2-3 days altough i would have liked to study for a week#also my schedule is just insane i think but then maybe it's just me idk#my time management is not the best but i still wonder how others would do with so many classes and extra activities#i have like 20 classes this semester + 2 exams i intend to take extra#i'm not attending all of them that wouldn't be possible and i'm not sure i can take all the exams but i'm happy if I manage like 17 or so#but like a normal amount is 10 classes a semester in my country but in reality most students don't take this many either#well i'm basically enrolled in two programms atm so there's that ig#but often i'm just wondering when i'm gonna study#i also play tennis a lot and competiting for my club (at a rec level)#and i'm training for this entrance exam for sports (i'm currently studying teaching with other subjects + English)#altough this is making me question if i'm fit for this everyday 🫠 i'm fairly good at 2 things ball sports and just like general athleticism#we also need to dance do gymnastics and swim i struggle with all of them#i'm not fast enough at swimming and my technique is bad i can't even do a cartwheel and a bad dancer 😭#the requirements are really high though i mean when i think of people i know from tennis or football no one would even get there closely#like i was the fastest at my former football club (and at every uni football course) and i might just barely cut it for sprinting#and i'm really quite athletic when playing tennis my opponents always notice and coordinated in sports as well#but somehow coordination for gymnastics is not the same?😅 how can i be so graceful playing tennis and most sports with balls but so clumsy#otherwise like doing a handstand... no balance 🥲#but anyways i also do like general fitness stuff going to the gym running a bit and trying to eat healthy#but my studying hours are very limited often tmrw i have uni from half 2 until 8pm in the evening and i have a preparation course for sports#before uni starts at half 10#i just really get the urge to drop everything sometimes 🥲 i also wanna see friends again more not just at uni and in the bus#i miss my semesters with 10 courses a week it was beautiful so much freedom and free time 🥹#uni was so enjoyable back then... don't get me wrong i enjoy most of my uni courses what i not enjoy is not having any time to myself
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My life the past couple years has mostly been made up of waiting for people in the car. Or driving people someplace. It kind of agonizes me to no end :(
#it was a little worse last year but my god it actually sucks.#and I like driving. I actually kind of love it. but I’m going to be honest here I feel like I have wasted the past 2.. even 3 years of my#life completely. but that’s also from other factors 😭#I just basically am so guilty all the time which hurts so much it angers me and then i have to drive multiple hours a day picking people up#and dropping them off. and them telling me the wrong times or when I pick them up they give me even more errands to run. idk#I do all this for free as well. I’m not someone who believes in charging family or friends for favors but if I’m doing this every day..#I also can’t work because i don’t have time between doing all this shit for my family. so I’m broke. and not getting paid to waste my time 😭
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#my new job is like a damn dream btw#i'm not getting paid as much as my target was but it more than makes up for it in really good work culture#and tons of employee engagement/amenities that are just fucking Nice#not that i utilize most of this but: cafe with free food and drinks. 24/7 on-site gym access. very flexible work schedule.#frequent free food events#discounts on sport/concert tickets/ski resorts/etc#unlimited PTO. tuition reimbursement. volunteer support (can take time out of your work day to do volunteer work while still getting paid).#my manager's ethic is: don't care what hours you work as long as you're here at the morning meeting and get all your work done#basically as long as i communicate i can work 7-3 or 8-4 or 9-5 or whatever suits my personal schedule#and i am allowed to leave when my work is done. no sitting around twiddling my thumbs trying to look busy#if all i have left is data analysis i can leave early and do it from home if i want#i can set up my work so that i can work from home once or twice a month. something i never thought I'd be able to do as a bench scientist#its so amazing compared to anywhere else I've worked#i'm sure it's laughable compared to the super wealthy pharma companies but those are evil places so i'm happy with this#ALSO i get regular raises and a merit bonus every year#just...wow what a great place to settle down for a few years
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The shit I have in store for y’all. . . The urge to post a wip but NAY I say ‼️‼️ I will hold back and complete these damn things with COLOR
#im sitting on more than 3 wips and progress is slow#however starting august I got new work hours.#now instead of working five days a week leaving me tired AF from all the commuting#I have four days a week of work and THREE days off every week#Ohhhh the time off is gonna be ~awesome~#and I haven’t had as much free time as I did when I was a student#which coincidentally is when I was rapid firing all my douman drawings (sobs)#I can’t wait to get back into that sort of posting but of course that’s gonna happen once my new shift in august starts#anyways!!!!!!!!!#that’s the update#sorry it’s been so slow
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*Spark appears* "Twist! How have you been?"
#undertale oc#undertale#sans oc#undertale au#Sorry If this looks weird -#I didnt sleep for a whole day i think#Because me and my friend stayed up the whole time#Also got sick again -#I was on the sleepover 3 hours on character. Ai-#Like#I went to a ink bot and rp as evening#If I add Angst ink litrally Beginns to cry#i just did that evening fainted and in every LINE there was his Name -#And im scared of this bot#After a rp that ink bot could answer some of my questions..#Dream and ink are comforting bots that I see-#Free Angst#. Ink is looking at evening.#Ahm
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[pained wailing emoji]
#.pdf#rd#THE REST OF THIS IS JSUT ME WHINING. FEEL FREE TO IGNORE#i dont wanna go to work ‼️‼️‼️ i feel like i am nearing a breaking point i am sofucking burnt out#every time i go to work. my brain gets Scary at me. stresses me out. dont like it ☹️#im supposedto be going in tonigjt but im dreading it sososo much#my work hour options have changed from “fully flexible” to “7am-9pm only” whcih yeah i know that doesnt sound that bad. but i have non-24#(circadian rhythm disorder that makes me sleep progressively later every day circling fully around the clock over ~3 weeks or so)#and bcos of it often i have to force myself out of bed in what my body thinks may as well be the middle of the night just to get to work#and then i dont ever get enough time to recover from that to actually let my sleep fall back into its natural schedule wjich is the only#time i feel properly rested. so essentially im chronically sleep deprived which is making me chronically stressed and way less productive#i just reslly really want to fucking save up a little money and just Not work for a week or two. bjt. with my sleep bullshit i cant really#work enough to be able to put anything aside. at all#so. kind of an unrealistic desire i guess. lol#ive been feeling like this ever since like early january when i was told i ahve to stick to a more normal schedule. & its only getting worse#idont know i just wishthere was something i could do that was fully flexible on timing but also doesnt havw the kind of workload that would-#-stress me out like basically anything with longer-term projects so ykmow Most flexible schedule jobs.#i do have one thing in mind i could do on my own but its dumb and probably wouldnt make much money and has startup costs i cant afford rn..
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:)
#time did pass anyways!!#getting weirdly emotional abt 2023#it was just filled with so many happy and incredible moments#i genuinely dont think ive ever had such a joyous year before in my whole life#seeing my best friends basically every day#my roommate which i miss more than ive ever missed anyone before#going to uni for class and then ending up spending 7+ hours just hanging at a café w my friends#going to concerts and seeing my favourite band since birth live#all the new food and restaurants ive discovered!!!#finally becoming a regular at a place (they started giving us free desert we were there so often)#being able to go out without having to justify myself to my parents because they werent there to control me#my god!!!!!!#not exaggerating#this year was fucking incredible#miss my friends sm#having big expectations for 2024 lol#happy new year#and all that#<3#SORRY FOR THE MASSIVE RANT HERE IN THE TAGS IM JUST EMOTIONAL#mine
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MUSE HYSTERIA DEMO AND NO ONE TOLD ME???????????????????????????????????????????
#I WILL NEVER BE FREE FROM THAT SMPE CLIP IT WILL CONTINUE TO HAUNT ME#im gonna personally dm phil one day and ask if he has it saved/recorded anywhere i cant stand it#every time i hear hysteria i just hear wilbur's tts........ god i need to hear it again PLEASE I NEED IT BACK ;-;#anyways oh my god oh my god THIS IS SO GOOD???????????? i like some of the instruments better than the original actually. Sorry <3#chat#unrelated i've been drawing for like an hour now. and yes it does involve techno#but i cannot for the life of me show you this is gonna stay on priv forever and ever#goat's favorite hobby is taking two things and mashing them together#i wouldve been a hit with the deviantart kids if i didnt have extremely monitored internet as a kid </3
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