#however starting august I got new work hours.

[questionablepastries]

The shit I have in store for y’all. . . The urge to post a wip but NAY I say ‼️‼️ I will hold back and complete these damn things with COLOR

[anntrnr]

how i manifested a new phone overnight ๋⭑. ‧ ₊ ˚.

in the 2024 summer i realised that my old phone from 2020 was starting to malfunction a bit and maybe i should get a new phone?!?!?

★ i opened pinterest and decided to look for beautiful photos of new samsung models. i found a cool pic and took a screenshot of it because i really liked the phone on that pic, it was a sky blue samsung a55. i got the thought like "wow what a beautiful phone!!! i really want it". i went to google to look up the technical parameters of this phone and realised that i fr needed it because it was just perfect for me

★ i just imagined showing my cousin cool new pics with the new phone, how happy i was holding it in my hand, how cute and pretty would it be! it was just like 5 mins of visualising my desires (or however it is spelled lmao english is not my first). and after that for a quick moment i had a feeling that i already had a new phone, like it's somewhere near and i just don't see it. okay, then i put my old phone aside and went to sleep, still visualising how happy would i be if i was given a brand new phone.

★ heyyy i didn't tell my parents that i wanted a new phone, 'cause my old phone was still working and was pretty much usable and modern... but anyway in the morning during breakfast my mom says to me "anna, i need your advice, is samsung a55 a good model?", which cause me to be really really shocked.. and then she just says "i want to order a new phone for you" and shows me an open page of a website where on the screen there is the same sky blue samsung i found on pinterest!?!??!?!?! i said like yeah it is pretty cool and my mom just ordered it immediately and in like a hour i've got my new phone!

my pics🥹🥹 the colour is so pretty🩵🩵

★ i was incredibly happy. i had never once mentioned that i wanted a new phone, and i had never complained to my parents about my old phone, because it was still usable and i loved it. it was august and my b-day is in january so there was NO logical reasons for my parents to buy me such a gift, especially since samsung phones are pretty expensive in the country i live in.

so, believe in yourself! everything is possible. wishing you all fast results and good luck! ★ ₊ ⊹

[messenger-of-babel]

Blue is a Christmas Colour

Summary: You attend a Christmas party held by the titans and spend the evening trying to avoid your crush. (Dick Grayson x reader)

Word Count: 2.1K

Notes: Def pushing everything back by a day, I got sick (curse the Aussie summer heat) so I'm taking it easy. Not many warning for this one, except maybe a slightly OOC Dick? Idk I've never had to write them not in pain before.

~RiRi <33

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You had exactly one hour before the Christmas party, yet you were faced with the classic Hallmark crisis of having nothing to wear.

Sure, you had been confident in your outfit a day before the party. You were sure it was going to look nice a few hours ago, and you were convinced you were ready to leave the house and arrive early as you were getting dressed. However now that you were looking at yourself in the mirror, you just couldn't feel comfortable in the outfit. Despite being something you wore no problem last year, it somehow didn’t look right on you, the material was puckering in the wrong places and for the life of you, you couldn't get the fabric to fold down flat.

So now it was thrown across the bedspread alongside half of your wardrobe, a steadily rising pile of red, green and white. You ran your fingers through your hair in frustration. You weren't sure why you were so concerned about looking your best for a simple Christmas party. You had been invited to an end of year get together by the Titans, despite only joining their ranks earlier in August. You told yourself that it was because of being new and wanting to make a good impression, that you could let your hair down and have fun. That you weren't always the hard ass, follow the protocol type that you were at work. You told yourself that it was because you liked Christmas and wanted to just celebrate the holidays in style. Or maybe it was the fact that you were technically in the public eye at all times since you didn't wear a mask, and what if you got caught off guard on your way there? There were a million excuses that you made in about the span of a minute, just to ignore the real reason.

To try and block out the memory of how your stomach fluttered when the team leader, Dick Grayson asked if you'd like to attend. Forget the way that your cheeks burned with heat catching sight of his smile, or the thudding of your pulse against your neck when he shielded you during a mission. You refused to have a one-sided crush, so with a groan you rubbed your hands over your face.

Thirty minutes to go and you were now staring at yourself, happy yet mortified with your outfit choice.

Who said blue couldn't be a Christmas colour? you had split it up with white, but you still chewed your lip. Maybe I could say it's like a snowflake, you thought to yourself. Or like a Jack Frost theme. Still kicking yourself over your outfit choice, you had no time to dally. You were locked into this now. You threw on some accessories on your way to the door, making sure you had your keys and phone in your purse before locking your apartment and hurrying down the stairs. The lift was broken, so by the time you finally got to the lobby you were out of breath from your clipped jog, scanning your FOB to get to the garage.

Settling in behind the wheel you buckled in and checked your phone to make sure there wasn't anything you needed before arriving. The group chat was pinging with people's ETA’s, and you typed in your own "On my way, be there about ten." before locking your phone and putting it back in your purse. Your stomach rolled uncomfortably, making you tap your fingers on the wheel anxiously as you started up the car. Hopefully your subconscious wasn't too obvert, and people didn't have a laugh at you for the left field Christmas outfit. Hopefully HE wouldn’t laugh.

Yet if you had stayed in the group chat for just a moment more, you would have seen the blue heart react that popped up on your message almost immediately, before the other colours started adding to it.

You parked your car nearby the team headquarters, somewhere that you could slip away to easily at the end of the night without being worried about a stupid camera flash. The elevator ride up you couldn't help but fiddle with your fingers, rocking on your heels. You got this, no one's going to notice-

The doors slide open and you almost bump into someone, and you can feel their eyes scan across your figure like it's a hot brand.

"Hey, nice-"

"It's a snowflake." you blurt out, making Donna's eyes widen. She holds a moment before laughing, eyes crinkling as her head tips back.

"I was just trying to say I was glad you could make it." she grins, the confusion in her eyes overwritten by the laughter on her face. "And that blue is a good colour on you."

Your cheeks fill with heat, and you place your palms over them in embarrassment. "Oh."

"OH, is correct." she hums, shaking her head. "Come on, nearly everyone else is here."

Donna links her arm with yours, pulling you further down the hallway until you can hear the faint sound of Christmas music and chatter from behind a door. She pushes it open confidently, half dragging you into the room with her.

The room is decorated lavishly, tinsel and wreaths hanging off every roof and column edge. The few standing tables are filled with ornament table arrangements, and there's an icy sheen projected onto the dance floor. You wave at Raven and Kory lightly, who are standing on the other side of the room at one of the tables. Theres a small Santa hat clipped to Raven, most likely the work of the happy, red-headed alien next to her sporting two mini hats of her own.

You're still new, so you feel awkward talking so casually to some of the other members by yourself, so you stick as close to Donna as possible. She had helped you out a few times on missions, and her internal resolve int the face of conflict had helped you mitigate your own panic more than you could count. It was the same confidence you saw on the battlefield that she used now, except instead of a warzone it was a somewhat active Christmas party.

Some days you wondered how you even got into the hero business in the first place.

The first time you had caught Dick's eye was when you were going to grab a drink from the crystal punch bowls on the side, weaving your way through the small crowd. He came up beside you, giving you that stellar smile that made your head rush.

"Hey."

"Hey." you replied curtly, unable to make anything else come out of your throat.

"You look nice."

"Thank you. It's a snowflake." you blurted, fingers tightening on your glass as you filled it.

"I can see that."

"Yes."

You had proceeded to scuttle away, leaving him slightly stunned. The entire way back to Donna's side you kicked yourself, nails digging into your palm out of frustration. You needed to put some distance between you two. You couldn't get attached. You needed to shake him like the flu, push down those jitters in your hands and round up those stomach butterflies with a net.

Dick Grayson on the other hand, appeared to be much more a trouble than you had begun to imagine. It was almost like he was tracking you down the whole night, appearing when you talked to Kory, sliding into the conversation when you struck one up with Gar. He happened to be around every corner fixing his shoe or making sure that the decorations were just right.

"Had to make sure everywhere was decorated." he'd shrug before striking up some awkward small talk. Teammates had begun to giggle, and so you finally left the main room when you could take it no more, hurrying into the hallway to take a break.

You sighed deeply, putting a hand on your forehead.

Now you were alone, now you could gather your thoughts-

"Do you not like me?"

Your eyes fly open at the sound of his voice. You should have known that if anyone was going to notice your disappearance, it was going to be him first. Dick stands a few paces away from you, suit crisp and holly pinned to his lapel. He tilts his head, studying your startled expression, while hurt is written on him like a book. "I understand that not everyone gets along, but I thought we got along fine before." he frowns. "Did I do something wrong? Could you tell me what I did?" he asks you softly, and you have to stop him there.

"You did nothing wrong. “You rush out, taking a step forward. "You're fine, it's nothing."

"Then why are you avoiding me?" the hue of his eyes flicker with a clear flame of hurt, and his hands hang limply by his side.

You sigh, fingers wringing together. "Dick it isn't you, it's just I-"

"You what?" he presses, stepping forward again.

"I just-"

"Just?"

"I like you, okay? And I don't know how to handle it!" You snap, the pressure welling up in your chest like a dam. He looks stunned at your outburst, and immediately you cover your face. You blew it, and you blew it big time.

"God, just forget I said anything actually. It's just the stress, it's all been getting to me, and the missions lately-"

"I like you too."

"It's all just been building up, you know? So sometimes I say things I don't really mean...what?"

Dick begins to laugh, running a hand through the black mess of hair. "I said I like you."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh." he grins, coming to stand in front of you. "Why didn't you just say something sooner?"

"Because not everyone is a charming flirt." you shake your head. "And I wanted to keep things professional between us."

"I think you're very charming." he grins, eyes glinting in the low light like a cat. "Very charming and very professional. It's cute."

Your cheeks heat up, stealing the words from your chest.

"You know, I liked you since you had my six on the rooftop stakeout." He says quietly, eyes shimmering with a boyish look. A lovesick look. You raise your eyebrows in return. "The one where you almost got jumped by a henchman?"

"That's the one."

"I would have thought that was embarrassing for you."

"You stopped him, didn't you?"

"Yeah, by throwing a brick."

"See? you had it handled."

"It was the closest thing to me, and I panicked."

"Just take a compliment, will you?" He laughs, and the sound makes the tension melt from your shoulders as well. You laugh alongside him, not realising how close you had gotten. He was so close that you could fix the shift in his red tie and push the black strands of hair from his sparkling blue eyes.

"Merry Christmas." he says softly, eyes flicking around the hallway. "Say, are you much for traditions?"

You tilt your head at the sudden change of topic but follow his eyes up to see a white berried bunch of mistletoe hanging from the archway. "Did you plan this?" you accuse jokingly.

Dick puts his hands up in mock defence. "Hey, I did say the whole building got decorated." He teases, eyes flicking from the mistletoe back down to your lips. "Do you...may I?" he asks softly, eyes searching yours for permission.

You swallow and nod, blood rushing to your head as he smiles and draws closer. H his hand that comes to rest on your hip feels like a thousand degrees, and when you close your eyes and his lips slot over yours you feel like you're on fire. It only lasts for a few fleeting moments, his actions gentle and soothing before he pulls away. You find yourself wanting to lean forward and chase the taste of mint and candy cane on his lips, hazy as the giddiness sets in that you just kissed Dick Grayson.

"Wanna rejoin the party?" he asks, grinning as he sees the faint shock the kiss left you in. He offers you his hand and this time you take it with no hesitation. You offer him up a smile, seeing your own excitement reflected in the flickering of his irises.

"Sure." you hum. Maybe this wasn't the worst way to end a year.

"Oh, and no one is buying that snowflake story."

[obvithe-bestsoph]

my best friend.

masterlist requests word count: 3.7k (if this flops, i'll cry)

a/n: it's 3am right now, and i have to be up at 7:30, but here, have this. no seriously, if it flops, i will cry. yes, this is in fact me asking you to like it 😭. genre: fluff, childhood best friends to lovers. warnings: they kiss? literally nothing graphic lol. safe for everyone.

Wednesday, 18th of August, 2010. 3 years old.

Your mama has been a stay-at-home mother your whole life, but recently she has decided that she wants to return to work since you’re a little older, meaning that you need somewhere to go during the day, and that place was Infantil 1-3 años, and today is your first day. You had cried quite a lot when your mama had left you this morning, not really ever having been away from her much, but when you eventually realised that she wasn’t coming back any time soon, you plonked yourself down on a small chair in a quiet corner of the colourful classroom. 

For a while, you sat there watching. The kids here are quite noisy and a bit dirty, but the toys look fun, and so does the playground outside, there’s a big patch of grass where some kids are playing with a football, and some others playing tag. Maybe this place isn’t so bad.

Your thoughts are interrupted by a small hand waving across your line of vision, trying to get your attention. Your eyes follow the hand, up their arm, over their shoulder, and to their face. It was a little boy, he had a big smile and short brown hair.

“Hola!” he says cheerfully. “On són els teus amics (where are your friends)?” 

“Sóc nou, no en tinc (i’m new, i don’t have any).” you reply.

He then sticks his hand out to you, waiting for you to hold it.

“I’m Pau Cubarsí Paredes, and we’re best friends now.” he states simply as you link your small hands together. You smile a little, and nod. “Vale (okay). My name is Y/N.”

“Alright, Y/N, let’s go out and play.” he grins, hands still holding each other’s hands as you two run outside smiling. He brings you to where the big patch of grass is, he starts to join in, when someone calls out to him,

“Qui és, Pau (who is that, pau)?”

Pau smiles proudly and calls back to the boy, “This is my best friend, Y/N.”

Thursday, 10th of September, 2011. 4 years old.

After you and Pau whining and whining at your mothers’, tonight, you’re having a sleepover. You’re going to share a bed with Pau, which you weren’t too happy with to start off, but after Pau tells you that it’ll be alright, because then you can keep each other safe from the monsters, and it doesn’t seem so bad anymore.

When you finally arrived at Pau’s house, he was already outside in the back garden, playing with the football he got for his birthday in January. You both really like football, and actually, that’s kind of the whole reason for this sleepover in the first place. Tonight, FC Barcelona is playing Real Sociedad, and you’re gonna watch it together on TV. 

Pau’s mother takes your bag of things that your mother had packed for the night, and while the two women chat in the kitchen, you run outside to see Pau. “Pau!”

“Y/N!” he runs up and gives you a quick hug. “Do you wanna play?” “Of course, I want to play. Don’t be silly.” you giggle, and steal the ball off of him, shooting it into the invisible goal at the end of the garden, and running to give him a high five in celebration. 

It only feels like 10 minutes to you guys, but hours later, Pau’s mama calls you back inside for dinner and the game starts. You run in, wash your hands as required, take your plates and sit on the floor in front of the TV, just in time to see the teams walking out of the tunnel. 

Sadly, you guys aren’t allowed to watch the whole game as it runs too late for little kids like you, despite both of your protests that you’re ‘big kids’ now. However, you get sent up to bed anyway, with the promise of his parents telling you the final score in the morning. 

It feels a bit odd going to bed without your mama’s cuddles and your papa’s special song, but you don’t say anything and just let Gloria tuck you in next to Pau and kiss your forehead good night.

“Bona nit els meus petits amors, ens veiem al matí (good night my little loves, see you in the morning).” she says, and then quietly leaves the room and shuts the door behind her, leaving you and Pau alone.

You both lay in silence for a while, which only leaves you time to think about how much you miss your parents. “Pau?” “Yeah?” your bottom lip starts to wobble.

“I miss my mama and papa.” he panics, seeing you’re about to cry.

“Hey, don’t cry amiga, it’ll be okay. You have me. Do you want a cuddle with Monkey? He’s like… magic.” Pau tries to help, offering you his special monkey stuffie, his equivalent of those security blankets kids have. 

You shake your head and the first hot, fat tear slides down your cheek. Well now this is really out of Pau’s ballpark. He quickly scoots closer to you and wraps his small arms around your body. “Està bé (it’s okay).” he pulls you a bit closer and you snuggle into him. His cuddles always make you feel better, and vice versa.

“I love you, Y/N. You’re my best friend, and I’ll give you loads and loads of hugs until you stop crying.”

Monday, 21st of September, 2013.

Today is your first day of big school. In Spain, it’s called Primero (year 2/1st grade). Or that’s what your mama said anyway. You were so glad because Pau’s going too. It would be scary by yourself. The new school is very different from Infantil, it’s big and there are lots of older kids there too. As you walk through the gates, carrying backpacks that are practically bigger than the size of your small bodies, you start to walk towards where the lady in front of you is telling you to go, not letting go of each other’s hands a single time.

The new classroom is bigger, just like everything else here, but the teacher lady up the front seems nice enough. But unlike at Infantil, you don’t just put your bag on the hook and then go off and play until you get called in to eat, you put your bag in a cubby hole and then you have to go and sit at a table and wait for the teacher to start talking. It’s weird. You both want to go outside, but she says no. Hmph. 

The first thing you have to do is sit in a circle on the floor for “Talking Time,” where you have to say your name, how old you are, and something about yourself. Both being fairly shy around people that aren’t each other, you and Pau hold hands the whole time, even when one of you is speaking. Pau goes first and nervously starts talking, “Uh, hola, my name is Pau, I’m six, and my fact is that I really like football.” 

Then it’s your turn, you panic, but a squeeze of Pau’s hand brings you back down. “M-my name is Y/N, I’m six too, and my fact is that I always watch and play football with Pau.”

You nod your head proudly, and Pau smiles at you, the little girl starts to talk next to you, but neither of you is paying attention to her. You put Pau’s hand in your lap and draw invisible little pictures on his palm with your finger.

Then you have to sit back at the tables and are given a piece of paper and a pencil. On the piece of paper is your name, which apparently today, you’re learning how to write. 

You get a bit frustrated when Pau does better at it than you, but keep practising anyway.

“This is too hard.” you huff, trying again. Pau pats your hand and reassures you.

“It’s not ‘too’ hard, you just gotta do it again.” you huff and continue on.

After that, you have to start learning how to count. The class sits on the floor in a circle again, and in a chorus, repeats after the teacher. “Un, dos, tres, quatre, cinc (one, two, three, four, five)…” Pau decides he likes numbers more than letters, but you decide letters are better than numbers. Everyone has their strengths, right? 

After what feels like forever of counting to five, then six, then seven and so on, finally, your lunch break comes and you’re allowed outside again. You want to go and play football, but the kids here are a lot bigger and scarier, so you stay sitting close to each other in a corner of the playground. An older kid, from a few years above, in Tercero (year 4/3rd grade), calls out to you, teasingly. “Oi, is that little girl your girlfriendddddd?!” he grins. 

Pau and you frown, and hold hands a little tighter, “Girlfriend? No. This is my best friend, Y/N.”

Thursday, 24th of March, 2016. 9 years old.

“Come onnnnnn, Y/N. Por favor?” Pau whines, complaining as he just lost yet another 1v1 against you. 

“Nope. A loser’s a loser. No rematches.”

“What?! But I wasn’t ready!” he cries.

“Then why’d you say ‘Yeah, vale, go.’ when I asked if you were ready?”

“Uhhh…”

“Exactly. Now, I’m gonna go inside because it’s hot and your mama said she bought ice cream. Pau perks up at the mention of ice cream and is racing ahead of you to get there first.

“Hey! Wait for me!” you call, dashing after him. 

When you reach the kitchen, Pau is already sitting at one of the stools in front of the island, his mama scooping balls of ice cream into two bowls. She then goes into the pantry to get sprinkles but realises there’s only enough for one person. Pau is quick to call dibs but is then almost immediately scolded by his mother. “Pau, remember how we talked about being a gentleman? Let Y/N have them.” He mumbles and grumbles, but you shake your head.

“It’s okay Gloria, we can share. Right, Pau?” Pau’s face lights up again and he nods quickly. The woman laughs and puts a tiny amount of sprinkles over both bowls and pushes them across the counter so they’re in front of you. You both dig in quickly and a moments later, Pau speaks up again, mouth full,

“Thank you for sharing.” “That’s okay. I thought you might need something to cheer you up after I bet you so many times.” you tease, and he rolls his eyes at you bringing it up again.

“I told you it was because I wasn’t ready!” 

Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes, still smiling though, “Uh-huh, sure.”

Irene, Pau’s older sister walks in, being used to you two by now, she doesn’t even bat an eye at your bickering and teasing. Irene’s 4 years older than us, 13, she’s cool, but you aren’t particularly close to her as you two are quite different from each other. But she will ‘babysit’ you and Pau on occasion, so she’s chill. 

She scolds Pau for rocking on his chair, fixes his hair, gets a snack, huffs, and walks out again, as would any good older sister. 

After finishing your ice cream, it was down to the living room to mope around and complain about being hot while playing FIFA. Barcelona summers really are just too hot sometimes. Pau beats you in the first few games, but you then flip yourself so you’re not lying upside down on the couch, and you start playing better. You guys spend a few hours doing that before Pau chucks his controller down and sighs.

“I’m bored of this, and it’s too hot to go outside and play actual football. And mama says no football in the house. What do you wanna do?”

“Die? It’s too hot.” he snorts and tugs on your ponytail, “You’re so dramatic.”

“Am not. It’s like boiling. But seriously, I have no idea what we should do.” Pau slowly turns his head to look at you, the look in his eyes silently asking, ‘Are you thinking what I’m thinking?’ to which you nod, and you both dash up the stairs, to Irene’s room, as she is now the unfortunate target of your boredom. 

Later that afternoon, Pau came to watch your football game against the female Real Betis youth team, he cheered loudly at every goal you scored, so loudly, that the parents around him started looking at him a bit funny, but one of the fathers there just laughed and told him his sister was very talented, but Pau was quick to correct him. 

“No, senyor. That’s my best friend, Y/N.” Monday, 8th of October, 2018. 11 years old.

It was a shock, but not surprising when two La Masia contracts were offered to you and Pau after a Barcelona scout had come to watch both of your games. Playing for the club you’ve always dreamed of debuting for? Hell yes. You couldn’t sign it fast enough. Well… you couldn't force your parents to sign it fast enough. And before you knew it, you were waving goodbye to your parents and siblings, and you were boarding the bus to Barcelona. 

The bus ride was about 2 and a half hours from Bescanó, but Pau fell asleep about 45 minutes in, his head lulling around to your shoulder. You don’t mind, and just watch him for a minute… noticing how cute he looked when he slept, how his hair looked nicer than usual… no. Stop. It’s Pau. Your best friend. You quickly look away again and force said thoughts out of your mind, just focusing on the excitement of finally arriving at your new home. 

After what felt like far too long, Pau wakes up again, but when he realises that you don’t know he’s awake, he just pretends, closing his eyes again and snuggling closer, acting like he’s still sound asleep. You glance down at him and smile softly, a little confused, but then go back to watching out the window.

Pau didn’t even know why he did it himself, for some reason, he just wanted to be closer to you than usual. He stays like that for the entirety of what’s left of the bus ride, thinking about how nice you smell and how warm your skin is… no. Stop. It’s Y/N. His best friend.

Thursday, 8th of November, 2018. 11 years old.

Now settled into your shared dorm at La Masia, you and Pau are having the time of your lives. Here, you can live, breathe and talk football pretty much whenever you want, your guy’s dream. Tonight, you’re both tired, having been at away games most of the day, and now you’ve eaten, you’re pretty smashed. 

(for reference, this is an actual la masia dorm, so imagine it here:)

Pau was awake on his phone, and you were reading, making the most of time before lights out, as always, when Pau spoke up from between the cabinet dividing your two beds. 

“Can I sleep in your bed tonight?” This wasn’t unusual for you two, as you both found comfort in sleeping in the same bed, ever since that first sleepover when you were four. 

“Vale. Just don’t flail around too much and snore.” you conceded, scooting closer to the wall so Pau could get in. He slips in beside you and you cuddle up to him, but continue reading. Eventually, you fall asleep, the book still in your hands. Pau gently slips it out of your hands, putting it on the shelf above you two and pulling you more into his arms, burying his face in your hair and closing his eyes. 

“She’s just my best friend. Stop.”

Friday, 27th of August, 2021. 14 years old.

“Pau, I swear to God if I find another one of your socks just loose in this room-” you threaten, throwing the sock at him as he lays on his bed, scrolling his phone. He rolls his eyes and laughs, chucking it back at you. 

“Fine, whatever, mama.”

“Hey, don’t hate on me for trying to not live in the filth of a teenage boy.” you chuckle, sitting down at the desk and starting on your homework. 

After about 30 minutes of comfortable silence, your phone pings, you check it passingly, but you do a double take, your eyes going wide as saucers and you jump out of your seat. Pau is immediately alert, also jumping up. “WHAT?!” 

“I GOT INVITED TO TRAIN WITH THE FEMENI FIRST TEAM!” you practically squeal, throwing your arms around him in a hug, still holding your phone in one hand.

“No way, amiga! That’s amazing!” Pau laughs, picking you up and spinning you around. You often forget how strong he actually is now, despite the, possibly unhealthy, amount of times you’ve admired his new biceps…

A few days later, you come back in the dorm door from your first first-team training, because of the different timings, Pau isn’t back yet, still in the recreation hall doing homework. You sigh and put your bag down, going into the small ensuite of the dorm and having a quick shower, as you’re standing at the sink brushing your teeth, you hear the digital door lock pincode being put in, and Pau’s call out, 

“Hola!” “Hola!” you call back, voice a little muffled by the mouthful of toothpaste.

You come out a few minutes later, allowing Pau to use the bathroom to shower after his own day of training. He comes out to grab his pyjamas with nothing but a towel around his waist, his hair still wet, that stupid, stupid, boyish smile on his face. You quickly look away.

“So how was training with the big girls, superestrella?” he asks, sincere, but slightly teasing. At the question, you’re immediately distracted from the sight in front of you and brought back to the memories of training earlier in the day. “It was amazing. I met Alexia Putellas. Alexia Putellas! Hell, I played with her, not just met her. They all seem so nice, Pau. I hardly wanted to leave.”

He chuckles at your excitement but gives you a “Good.” and ruffles your hair, heading back towards the ensuite to hang up his towel. 

Pau flops down on his bed and holds out his arms for you. Being freshly showered and no longer smelling like a locker room, you accept and lay down next to him. 

“Who would’ve thought, my best friend, playing with the Barca Femeni first team? I’m so proud of you, Y/N. Really.” he murmurs into your hair. “Te quiero.”

April 2023. 16 years old.

Today, Pau had had his first training with the first team, and you were waiting nervously in the dorm for him to get back and tell you how it was, and sure enough when he arrived back, he did.

In fact, it’s quite hard to shut him up. But you don’t mind. His voice is actually rather soothing. He got so animated talking about one of the drills he did where he got to work with someone, that he tripped over the leg of the chair of the desk and fell forwards, on top of you, putting you from your sitting position, to pinned underneath him. 

Your breath hitches, his face inches from yours. You stare at each other's lips for a moment before he mutters a quick apology and stands up again. You go bright red and murmur back a “You’re all good.” before rolling over and burying your face in your pillow after he’s walked away again. The dorm is dead quiet, the silence is tense and heated. “She’s my best friend…” Pau thinks, having no idea what was going on on the other side of the separator between the beds.“He’s my best friend…” you think.

“I don’t care.”

“I want him.”

Neither of you said anything aloud, but it’s safe to say that ‘Shameless’ by Camilla Cabello was certainly blasting in your AirPods tonight.

Saturday, 18th of January 2024. About to turn 17.

Tonight, Pau is making his senior team debut. Barca is playing against Unionistas de Salamanca in the Copa del Rey, and Pau has never felt so excited, yet so much like he could throw up at any moment. His parents, me, and Irene were all in the stands, and he couldn’t wait.

In the 46th minute, Pau gets subbed on for Andreas Christensen, jogging out into the pitch. You couldn’t help but chuckle when he got a yellow in the 70th minute, not at all surprised. 

Later that night, after the adrenaline had worn off a bit, you and Pau walked back into the dorm quietly, the rest of La Masia being asleep by now. Once the door is shut and locked again, you collapse into your desk chair, still grinning at him. You sit for a minute before standing up and moving to be in front of him, wrapping your arms around his neck in a hug. “Estic molt orgullós de tu (i’m so proud of you).” you murmur, looking into those beautiful eyes of his. He’s over 6 feet tall now, so you definitely have to look up, and he definitely has to look down. 

“Gràcies (thank you).” he murmurs back, also looking into your eyes, it’s silent for a moment before his neck starts craning towards you, and yours up, until finally, your lips meet in the middle. 

The kiss lasts a few seconds, just lips, no tongue or teeth, but the amount that it communicates is wild. Your hand creeps up from his neck to his hair, his hand moving to your waist, pulling you closer against him. When you finally pull away, you’re both a little breathless, but you grin at each other.

Friday, 29th of November, 2024. 17 years old. 

Tonight is Barca’s 125th-anniversary gala at the Gran Teatre del Liceu, you’re here with the Femeni team, and Pau’s here with the men’s team, but after the main, “formal” part of the event, everyone is taken off to an open hall with a bar and a few tables of food, music playing, coloured lights illuminating the room. 

You gravitate to Pau, who’s standing talking to Héctor Fort, Lamine Yamal and Pablo Gavi. He looks down to see you standing there, automatically wrapping an arm around your waist.

“So you’re the famous ‘roommate’ then, huh?” Lamine smiles teasingly at you. You chuckle, Pau laughs, and Héctor smiles expectantly.

Proudly, Pau’s grin only grows. “Guys, this is my girlfriend, Y/N.”

[orcusfang]

Whence the Sorrow Flow [Part One]

Pet!AU Aizetsu x pregnant Fem!Reader

'As the owner of a well known demon grooming salon, business has flourished the years following its opening. All kinds of demon pets are brought to you day in, day out. And with a partnership with the local rescue, one would think you’ve secured a comfortable living in this bustling city. However, nothing could be further from the truth, and wherever you go an unwanted shadow that isn’t your own is intent on haunting your every step. You try to go on with your life, but after months of enduring this hell you’re mentally in the gutter. When a longtime friend from the local rescue brings in a timid and anxious demon for a makeover, he once again tries to convince you to adopt a demon of your own. Usually you shrug off the suggestion, never giving it much thought. But now that the question whether or not you still considered yourself safe can’t be answered with certainty anymore, you consider the possibility. And he just happens to know the perfect demon for your situation…'

--------- A/N: So, I started this back in August last year and never really wrote this with the intention to post it? Most of it was inspired by a RP I had with a friend at the time, but I shared two previews on Twitter over the past months and people really seemed to like it and have been asking about it ever since. So… I’m posting it! Warnings: This story contains darker themes, domestication, heavier topics, pregnancy, stalking, master/pet relationship. And for later chapters: mating cycles/heat, dubious consent at times and eventual explicit sexual content. A reminder, this story is written with an adult audience in mind. So even though not all chapters have sensitive matters in them; no minors, please! Read at your own risk! I hope you enjoy! Please let me know if you liked it :] Word Count: 9732

As the owner of a demon grooming salon in the center of a bustling city, you had seen just about any demon you could’ve dared to imagine. After almost four years of being in this profession, you didn’t think you could still lay an eye on a demon and genuinely find yourself surprised and impressed. From the most pampered and arrogant demons that actually considered themselves above you; to the most shy and anxious of demons – you’d seen it all as far as you were concerned.

It was fascinating how a demon's place and status in the world depended on their owners. And yet, it was utterly unfair to those born in unfortunate circumstances.

However, every once in a while the lovely folks over at the local demon rescue were eager to drop by a demon that would forever expand your experience, and it just so happened that today was rescue demon grooming day.

It wasn’t an official day of any sorts, but whenever one of the workers there reached out to you for an appointment for one of their demons, you made certain to not take on any other clients that same day. There had been a time when you did, but… you’d learned the hard way to not book anyone else.

Because the demons that got rescued by them? They were often in very bad and questionable shape, and there was simply no predicting what you would see with a new appointment with the rescue group. No matter how many times they had visited for a makeover on a demon they deemed suitable for adoption, every single time they stepped through the salon’s door with the demon in tow, and you witnessed the state they were in – something deep within your heart withered just a little more.

So when your contact at the rescue, Takagi, called to book an emergency case, you knew you were in for a long and tough day. It wouldn’t be the first time a rescue took hours before they even looked somewhat presentable. Not counting the time it took for the demon to grow comfortable enough to let you work on them, and a strange gut feeling told you that this rescue might just be one of those cases.

That, or it was the other situation in your belly making you feel iffy.

Despite being five months in, you still had a hard time separating the two.

“Makes me wonder for how much longer I’ll be able to properly do this work.” You mused to no one in particular, only to fill the tense silence before the rescue’s arrival as you arranged all the proper tools you could possibly need. You hoped you could continue to work for a while longer, you were a one-person income after all. And rent didn’t discriminate, pregnant or not.

There were plenty of savings that would keep you going for a while, but the less you had to depend on that, the better. Especially now that your life was going to change drastically in about four months from now, and you needed to be prepared for any unexpected events. There was no saying there wouldn’t be complications, either.

Once all the brushes, scissors and shearing devices were put in place and all shampoo and soap bottles were refilled, you made a small pile of thick towels along with a happy hoodie that was certain to lessen the stress for today’s demon. All the while, you couldn’t help but wonder what demon would walk through the front door of the shop today.

Rescues were often a miserable sight, but you’d be lying if they weren’t a great way to learn and improve your methods. In fact, it was thanks to the collaborative events between you and the local rescue that you’d gotten such a reputable name to begin with.

That, and you were helping the demons as well. Aside from the obvious cleaning, you were also giving them an instance where a human didn’t touch or handle them with a violent touch. Considering most rescues came from abusive or neglected houses, hopefully that small experience would aid them in their first step to trust humans once again. Or for the first time.

Humming, you entered the space where you always bathed, rinsed and showered your demons, placing the bottles of soap and shampoo at a higher ledge to keep them from being launched across your shop thanks to trashing demons that hated to be wet and washed. It wouldn’t be the first time your workshop got coated in bubbles and had you and the demon slipping in all directions.

The demons would be fine. A little spooked, but fine. They were tied to the elastic leash on the wall so they wouldn’t go far, but you still had a sore spot on the back of your head when you once slipped and hit the wall. And that had been over a year ago.

You peeked at the wall clock while rinsing your hands by the large sink. The numbers showed 10:45, meaning that the appointment would be in about fifteen minutes. That is, if it were a normal client.

If there was something you’d come to learn the past years, it was that Takagi, your contact over at the local rescue loved being way on time. That meant that any moment now he would–

The faint noise of a car pulling up resounded outside your shop, and you couldn’t help but smile. “Ah, way too early. Just as expected.”

The opening of a car door and closing followed in their wake, and footsteps approached as the obscured window revealed two shadowy silhouettes at the front door.

The doorbell jingled reassuringly and you quickly snatched your apron bearing your shop’s logo – a cute illustration of a generic demon sitting in a bubbly bathtub– threw it on and approached the shop entrance.

You had hardly unlocked the door before an eager “Gooood morning, (Name)!” boomed in your face, accompanied with a flashy grin from the tall man. “We’re not late, are we?”

“Absolutely not.” You chuckled, already unable to resist the contagious eagerness of the older man. “Good morning, Takagi. Are you certain you don’t just want to plan the appointment 15 minutes earlier than usual instead?”

“If that suits you better,” He said casually, knowing that you were just messing with him. “but I fear I’ll just end up arriving early either way. That’s just in my nature, you know?”

Takagi was one of the older employees at the local rescue, and your official contact there. Whenever there was a demon that needed to be brought over to your salon, he was always the one responsible for arranging it. Ironically enough, you had known the man for much longer than you had the shop, for he was an old friend of your mother. As such, he was a trusted family friend, even if your only contact were these visits that happened a couple times a month.

And your mother never admitted to the claim… but it was very likely that she had recommended your shop to the man, thus marking the beginning of your good relationship with the local rescue and boosting your reputation in one fortunate move.

Though, because of an injury that happened on the job where a terrified demon had lashed out and caught him by surprise, Takagi had been unfortunately incapacitated for four whole months, and today was actually the first time you both saw each other again in quite a while.

Takagi quickly studied you. “Ah but what am I saying? First and foremost (Name), I believe congratulations are in order!”

He of course, meant the evident bump you lugged around every day, and you nodded with the biggest grin plastered onto your face. No matter how many people congratulated you, it felt just as wonderful as the first. Even if you were starting to run out of interesting responses other than: “Yes, thank you!”

“How far along are you?” He almost seemed as joyous as you, and you knew from experience that he was genuinely happy.

“Five months now,” Your hands rested instinctively on your small bump protruding slightly from underneath your apron. “The baby is healthy and growing well, and I’m heading in for another ultrasound in two weeks.” You heaved a sigh. “I keep thinking I’m used to it, but I can’t help but feel anxious with each visit.”

His dark bushy brows shot up. “Well, of course! It does concern the health of your little one, and as a parent you want nothing more for them to be safe. It’s fine to feel nervous – in fact, I think I’d judge you more if you weren’t.”

You blinked at him, surprised that you hadn’t thought of it that way yourself. Before you could say anything in return, however, his bright and eager gaze took a sharper edge to it. “That said… I heard what happened with your partner. Are you doing ok?”

As much as your pregnancy delighted and made you eager to be a mother – the overwhelming shadow that your former partner, the father, had left behind unfortunately haunted your every step, and you feared this question was coming.

Especially since you’d lived pretty much in a mental haze ever since it happened. If anything the responsibility of the shop kept you going, gave you a daily purpose rather than rotting in your own misfortune and potential horrors.

“It’s… better this way.” Truth was, you really didn’t want to talk about him. To grant him any more attention than his actions already demanded. If you had to convince yourself to believe you and your child would be better off without him even if it was a downright lie, then you would cling onto that lie with all your might until it turned out to be real.

Suddenly feeling very self aware, you shyly lowered your gaze downward, only for it to land on the silhouette kneeling behind the man – the demon he brought along. With Takagi’s chatter and sudden questions, you’d been distracted from the demon’s presence. The fact that it was frozen in place without making the slightest noise certainly helped to remain unnoticed.

The smallest hint of the brightest blue eyes you’d ever seen peeked at you between large, thick clumps of dark hair, and for a passing second you found yourself strangely entranced – as if you witnessed a beautiful, fleeting moment.

The moment that defined whether a demon tolerated your presence, based on their first instinctual impressions. An instinct that abused and neglected demons took as reality, often influenced by the events of their past, and one where you had to tread carefully.

But the moment was fleeting, because what your gaze focused on next took your breath away, and you could swear your heart dropped straight through your big pregnant gut, and right into your bloated feet.

All you could see was just a gigantic pile of neglected, overgrown, uncared and matted dark hair. In the way the demon was leaning back on their haunches, kneeling down to the ground, the hair literally covered them from head to toe. Only the slightest glimpse of their face occasionally managed to peek through the clumps of thick filthy hair.

You immediately recognized the first signs of the demon’s neglect. Their hair hadn’t been cut for the longest of time, or in the worst case scenario – ever.

Whoever previously owned them clearly never bothered to brush, take care or send them to a groomer. You felt like you were staring straight at a bunch of bird nests somehow mushed together into one chaotic structure. You could hardly see their actual face, and you cringed visibly as you caught a whiff of the downright putrid smell that reeked off of them.

Adding onto your mental list, you began to doubt whether or not they ever got a bath either. And that was just from what you could see with a quick glance. There was no saying what you would encounter once you got to work on them. God, the poor, poor thing.

You had to get to work.

“But please, come in. And I’ll get you two settled.” You stepped back to allow the man and demon to enter. Suddenly very motivated to start and try to lessen this demon’s predicament rather than dwell on what happened to you in the past.

“Don’t mind if we do! I must mention though, I cannot stay for long.” Catching the hint, no further questions regarding your former partner’s dubious actions were thrown in your way, and Takagi entered the shop with the demon cautiously in tow.

Once inside, the demon immediately retreated behind the man’s legs. The hair covered head moved a bit, and you realized the demon was checking out the new room he found himself in. All the different scents must make him anxious. If he could even smell anything properly with that wall of crusty hair obscuring his senses.

Takagi smiled tenderly down at the demon and then back to you. “Dear (Name), this is one of our newly rescued demons. He’s very shy and anxious, but thus far he’s been nothing but a gentle demon.” He gestured at the creature, and upon feeling both your direct gazes on him, he ducked inward a bit more.

“What’s their name?” You ask quietly, not wanting to spook or intimidate the poor thing any more than it already was in this new, daunting environment.

“His name is Aizetsu…. I think.” He chuckled a tad awkwardly. “This one was rescued along with three others, and one of them felt open enough to share their names to us, and… nothing else. Upon asked, they don’t want to say which name belongs to which demon, so we’re kinda still in the process of figuring out who is who.” He shrugged casually. “But this one responded to Aizetsu, so we assume that’s his name. But we don’t know much about him aside from the fact that he’s male.”

You nodded and peeked back at the demon hiding behind him. “So, what do I need to know about Aizetsu’s behavior before I start preparing him?”

“You probably noticed just by looking at him, but we found him and his three brothers in a severely neglected state.” Takagi began, the former pleasantness draining his features into something more sharp. “We don’t know all the details regarding their former owner, because it’s actually the police that found out about their existence. Supposedly they were there to arrest the owner on some pretty severe charges. None of those charges had anything to do with neglecting demons, unfortunately.”

No, of course they weren’t. As much as you and Takagi tried your hardest to improve demon lives, most of society really only saw them as exotic pets with no rights. Meaning that there were no rules set in place that would punish abusive behavior or other forms of mistreatment, and that people usually weren’t punished for it.

“They investigated the rest of the house, and found these four in separate rooms in the basement in just… awful, awful conditions.”

Your stomach churned, and yet some terrible curiosity needed to know to sympathize. “Meaning…?”

He scrunched his nose and shook his head. “Just the worst neglect someone could imagine. You’re really better off not knowing the details, (Name). Me and the others at the rescue having seen it is more than enough.”

Your gaze went back on the trembling demon; your heart aching in sympathy as well as disgust. You wondered what was going through the demon’s head right now, as the two of you discussed details of his former life.

“So, when they found the neglected demons in dire need of help, and cops being cops, they wanted to put a bullet through their heads. Probably to project the blame onto their owner so they could forge an even bigger record on the man.”

Your hands cupped your mouth in horror. “No! But then, how did they…?”

“Fortunately there was a female officer with them that’s worked with us before, and she ended up having to beg them to allow her to call our local rescue.” Takagi heaved a deep sigh. “Even then, for us to be allowed to go there, we had to reassure them that they would never hear about the demons and their own involvement ever again. Not from others, not from the news. For all we know, these demons were simply dropped on our front porch by some random stranger.”

“Did they seriously threaten you?” One could argue the fact he was telling you of this right now rather than keeping it quiet, but he was a man of honesty, and you were certain he provided you the truth because he really wanted people to understand what the demon went through. He was that committed to helping them.

“It’s all in a day of our work, (Name). Once the cops finished flashing their authority, we went in there to capture them.” He glanced down at the demon behind him. “This guy was the first and easiest to catch. Poor thing was so immobilized by fear that my colleague went into his room and just scooped him right out. The other three though?”

He whistled, and the demon behind him startled at the high-pitched noise. To which he flashed him an apologetic smile. “They gave the crew the workout of their lives. It took us truly five hours before we finally managed to catch and drag out the last one, but it was worth every single moment of it…”

“Aizetsu and his siblings have been with us for a few days now, and we allowed them time to realize and understand that their living quarters have changed, and have been feeding and looking after them gradually to try and get them get used to human contact.”

Your brows raised curiously. “And how’s that been going for you?”

Takagi loosed out a troubled breath. “Let’s say we have varying degrees of progress on the four. Aizetsu here has made the most progress because he tolerates being touched.” Takagi sucked in a breath. “Then again, even though he does, he also shows hardly any response to it, so that’s a bit of a concern. We think he might be too scared to have a reaction, unlike two of his brothers.”

Curiosity got the best of you, and that’s where you made a mistake: “Will they be up for adoption, too?”

You only realized your mistake once Takagi’s eyes suddenly flashed with mischief. “Once they pass every test, they eventually will. I have my concerns about the angriest one, but I won’t stop until he shows even the slightest hint of warming up to someone.” His eyes narrowed cheekily at you, and you knew exactly what he was going to say next.

“Why? Have we finally reached the point in time where you’re thinking about adopting one of your own?”

As was evident with your many past encounters, Takagi never allowed the opportunity to ask slip through his fingers. Back in the day, he was so shocked to find out that despite being someone who was very experienced handling demons, and bearing a similar passion and love for their wellbeing as he did – you didn’t have a demon yourself.

There were a handful of reasons for this, which you’d made very clear to the man whenever he returned to the subject. Your excuses usually ranged from: I’m just too busy to properly take care of one. To the more reasonable: My house is rather small, and I don’t think I can offer them a home they would thrive in.

Seeing right through you, his brow always raised as if to say really? Those reasons wouldn’t have stopped anyone else from adopting one, and a lot of them were far from as qualified as owning one than you did. You knew that if a demon somehow ended up in your care, you would do your utmost best to give him the best life and home the demon could wish for.

Still, you’d been set on your decision for the past years since you started this work. You weren’t entirely sure why you kept making excuses, but somewhere along the line you’d started to believe them.

Maybe it was so you wouldn’t have to think any further about the true reason, which had nothing to do with you in the first place. And now that Takagi was asking you about it once again… you were feeling tempted to spill it to him, knowing there was nothing left to pretend.

But you caught yourself before you could give into the sweet temptation of spite, knowing it added absolutely nothing worthwhile. If anything, it would most likely sour part of your day as well as Takagi’s…

And again, you had to remind yourself that you didn’t want to give the source of said reason any more thought and attention than he already demanded on a daily basis.

“You’ll never cease trying to pair me with one of your rescues, won’t you?” A soft laugh passed your lips, knowing that he really only did because he was convinced it would only add more to your life, and he really wanted that happiness for you. “I hate to disappoint you, but my reasons haven’t changed. In fact, in about four months from now I’ll even have less time to spend on a demon than I do now.”

“So you think!” He countered enthusiastically, jabbing a finger up in the air. “But I’d argue that adopting a more gentle and patient demon into the household is very beneficial with a little one around. Especially now that your partner isn’t around anymore, and combined with your grooming salon a demon could potentially help you to relieve the pressure put on you.”

You shot him a look. “Adopting a demon to take over my chores isn’t really a prime reason why I’d reconsider getting one, Takagi.” The last thing you wanted to do was turn a creature like that into a servant of sorts.

He shook his head, intent on getting his message across. “No no, you’re misunderstanding. Of course they could help in the household, but I’m just saying. It’s tough being a single mother with a newborn and a job that demands a lot of you. There are demons specifically bred and trained to be gentle and, uh, perhaps important for your particular situation – protective of their owners and their children.”

The latter part had you looking up with a snap – so taken back by what he was implying – that you actually glared at the man for a passing heartbeat before catching yourself. But not before you saw the realization settle on your friend’s face.

A sudden chill had taken to your skin and blood, causing your very core to tremble.

Looks like Tagaki knew more of the finer details of your recently changed situation than he initially let on.

You blinked nervously. “Mom told you?”

The man slowly nodded, his features stark.

“How much did she tell you?” You tried, urging the frustration heating your blood to simmer back down. You hated it when your mother decided to share private things when you clearly asked her not to do so, everything was already complicated enough, and the last thing you wanted was others to try and butt into what you should do.

“Enough for me to know you need protection.” He provided, his gaze stern yet concerned.

A growing pressure of panic threatened to squeeze your throat as you scrambled for excuses to cut this topic short. “The police have everything under control, so that won’t be necessary.”

“I’m just saying,” Tagaki said carefully, choosing his words. “A demon could keep you safe from someone like him. From what your mother told me, it appears you’re under a great ordeal of stress, and that’s not good for you nor the little one you’re carrying around.”

Clenching your jaw to keep yourself from snapping at the man, you honestly didn’t know why his concern for your well being felt like such a stab to your back. Not to mention your mother for just blabbering about this so openly to random people. What if word of his actions leaked out and somehow reached him? What would happen then?

Your gaze landed on the clock, where the numbers marked 10:59. It was time to get to work; you had to do what you were meant to do today – your escape.

You took a breath to calm your rising anxiety, turning back to Tagaki. “If… it gets out of hand, I’ll let you know.” It was the most basic answer you could give without outright telling him you would consider adopting a demon, but truly, you had no other idea how to get him to stop discussing this topic. “Alright?”

Because he meant well, he really did. Even if your fight and flight instinct was urging the opposite, and that wasn’t any of his fault.

Tagaki must’ve caught the glimpse within your gaze that you were simply not up for discussing this, and nodded. “I told your mother the same thing, if there’s ever anything you need; you can always contact me. I might not always be able to help with everything, but I’m sure we can find a solution together with the three of us.”

“Thank you,” And you meant it. “But the last thing I want to do right now is stress myself even further by thinking about him unless I have to.”

Tagaki’s eyes hardened just ever so slightly, not satisfied with your answer even though he seemed content to drop the matter for now. “Understandable.”

All the while, the demon just sat behind the man. Quietly and observing the shop he currently found himself in; showing no interest whatsoever in the topic or conversation you found yourselves in.

“How about we get Aizetsu here settled first and foremost? I really want to cut some of that heavy hair of his, as it must be very uncomfortable for him.” You suggested instead, eager to work and have something else to focus on.

Having to look at the severely neglected demon hiding away behind Tagaki made you restless to get to work. The less longer the demon was forced to endure the results of his neglect, the better. This demon clearly needed your help, and soon.

“Ah sorry about that, (Name), and here I said I didn’t have a lot of time to stay and I just go on blabbering like that.” He chuckled sincerely and looked down at the demon behind him, taking a step to the side.

Almost instantly, the demon tried to inch back behind him, but Takagi outstretched his arm so the leash, which he held rather short, wouldn’t reach far enough for the demon to do so. The demon’s movements were slow and lazy, but when he hitched on the leash, he tried again, and again. Seemingly getting more restless with each attempt.

“No, Aizetsu.” He corrected firmly, but not harshly. “Today we’re going to do something a little different. Remember what I told you before we left this morning?”

You observed, feeling somewhat tense in having to witness this exchange. As expected however, the demon said nothing in return, but he did cease his attempts to hide behind him. Though you suspected it was more because of his fear for punishment rather than actual obedience.

“Today we’re visiting (Name). She’s a very kind woman who’s going to keep you in her salon for a few hours so she can get you thoroughly cleaned and washed.” The demon cautiously tilted his head at the man once it was mentioned he had to stay here. “It might be a little uncomfortable and scary at first, but I want you to behave and listen to everything she says, ok?”

It might’ve been spoken as a request, but you saw it for what it truly was. An order, a command for the timid demon to follow. An establishment of responsibility and leadership was what most demons needed to be made clear, especially if – in this case – the current caretaker was leaving the demon in someone else’s hands. Aizetsu needed to be made clear that he needed to listen to you and your instructions once Takagi left the salon to deal with other matters.

A simple concept on the surface, but for a demon that had been neglected or abused, having known nothing but dubious relationships with humans – this was like asking him to shift its entire understanding of reality, and to put themselves in a highly vulnerable position. After all, they didn’t know you. How could they possibly know what you were going to do with them?

Most rescues you’d groomed here at the salon had been terrified of you, because they were expecting you to act exactly like people had done in the past. They had no reason to trust you, no matter how much Takagi reassured and explained the process to them.

Expecting no answer from said demon, Takagi turned back to you. “I tested Aizetsu in a couple of social exercises back at the rescue center. So far, he’s not lashed out or snapped at anyone yet. But if you feel like he might be inclined to do so, please don’t hesitate to muzzle him for your safety.”

You hummed a nod, making a mental reminder of the demon having passed some social exercises so far. Which was a good sign, as you remembered past demon clients that desperately needed muzzles to keep yourself safe. You always tried your best to get demons through it without stressing them out too much, but sometimes you were left with no other choice. “Understood. Are there any triggers that I should keep in mind with Aizetsu?”

“He seems easily spooked by sudden loud noises, from what I’ve gathered in the few days we’ve had him around.” He pondered some more. “Same goes for unexpected touches, I like to think it helps if you announce what you’re going to do. That way you won’t take him by surprise.”

You crossed your arms over your chest. Judging from that, Aizetsu wasn’t going to like the water hose and the blow dryers once he’d been bathed. Which could complicate matters, but it would far from be the only time that you handled a demon scared for those very same things.

“I think he likes it when you talk to him too. Calm and quietly.” Takagi remarked. “He shrinks away when someone snaps at him.”

So a lot of calm talking, instructions and gentle touches. Got it. It was enough knowledge for you to start working on him, and you would undoubtedly come to discover new traits and things the rescued demon hadn’t expressed at the rescue center.

“Anything else you think I should know before I get to work?” You asked.

“Aside from the fact that he’s male, quiet, scared and timid – no, I don’t think so. Because frankly that’s all we know at the center. Oh, and if you discover anything else about him, or if something’s up, please don’t hesitate to message me. I’ve got my phone on me 24/7, so I’ll be guaranteed to see your message shortly.” His gaze narrowed at you. “If you feel like you can’t get the job done because of your precious cargo, you also tell me, ok?”

It was obvious that he, and everyone else that doubted your capabilities due to your pregnancy only voiced their concerns because they were worried for you and your infant. But you would be lying if it wasn’t starting to get to you, especially since you were still working and dealing with your client just fine without any incidents.

You reined in the annoyance. It was probably your anxieties and hormones speaking, but sometimes it felt like people were infantilizing you.

“I’m pregnant, not enfeebled.” You teased, laughing. “Don’t worry. I think I’ll manage, but if something’s up, I’ll call you.”

He gave you a knowing look, but allowed the matter to rest. “I’ll leave you to your work, then.” He offered you the leash and you took it without hesitation, wrapping the end tightly around your hand. While you didn’t want to show dominance explicitly, it was the way to get nervous and tense demons to understand the dynamic between you. Small gestures like those were required, whether you liked it or not. You were here to help them, not to suit your own needs and convictions.

The gesture didn’t escape Takagi, and a certain tension lifted from his features. He turned to the demon once again. “Aizetsu, I’ll be leaving you with (Name) now. While you’re getting your salon treatment, I have to get your three brothers to the groomers as well.”

At the mention of his siblings, the demon perked up; a soft noise escaping him as the tension seemed to leave him for a split second. For a moment you thought he was going to speak, to ask anything about his siblings, but he remained in the same silence as before, and Takagi smiled down at him. “Now, you behave and listen to (Name), got it? She’s going to take good care of you. I’ll pick you back up as soon as she’s finished.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the praise, feeling somewhat relieved that he was only dropping one of the four demons in your salon. From the small snippets of information Tagaki shared, Aizetsu’s other siblings seemed much more energetic, and there were only so many rescues you could put up with before needing some normal clients again.

Bathing, washing and taking care of Aizetsu, a clearly anxious demon, would be more than enough for you today.

You allowed your gaze to wander down at the cowering demon, who must’ve felt your eyes on him and timidly turned to you, before peeking back at his current caregiver. As if he wasn’t sure who to listen to, and a clear sign that Takagi needed to get his butt out of here already to avoid further confusion for the already nervous demon.

Understanding the hint, Takagi determinedly strode to the door. “Well, I’ll leave you to it. I’ll be back to pick you up in a few hours, Aizetsu. So make sure to behave until then.” With one final wave, he exited the salon. Promptly followed with the sound of his departing vehicle.

An anxious whine left Aizetsu’s throat the instant Takagi disappeared from his sight, and he couldn’t stop looking at the door. Confirming exactly what you’d feared for. The man had stayed around for too long in this new and scary environment for the demon, and now the only person he was even a little familiar with had left him here with a complete stranger, you.

“Don’t you worry, he will be back soon enough.” You lowered yourself to his level, making certain you intercepted his line of sight and smiled. “How about we get you settled and prepared, Aizetsu?”

You didn’t wait for a reply, knowing you wouldn’t get one as he was figuring things out. You got back up on your feet and gently tugged on the leash a couple of times to have him follow you to the bathing area.

It took a little bit of prompting, but he eventually gave in and removed his sights from the door and followed you. All the while, you decided to talk to him to keep his thoughts from straying away to other matters and instead focus on you.

“First of all, I want to welcome you to my salon, Aizetsu. I’m (Name), and in my daily life I work as a demon groomer. Meaning that I work on making demons as clean and presentable as possible, and that’s exactly what we’ll be doing today. If you don’t mind me saying, you look like you desperately need a good washing and a nice haircut.”

He definitely needed way more, but the last thing you wanted was to overwhelm the demon with phrases he probably didn’t even know. As neglected as he was, he probably never had any of these things before.

No answer or sound came from the demon except his soft footsteps behind you. It was relieving to hear that he was actually following you. So far he was taking Takagi’s command to heart.

You then stopped, and the demon followed your example almost instantly. “Before we continue, I want to make you feel as comfortable as possible around here. You haven’t shown any signs of wanting to run away, and as such, I want to try and take your leash off.” You raised a brow at the demon, still clueless whether or not he could actually see you through that mountain of tangled and matted hair descending most of his body.

“But in order to do that, I’m gonna need you to listen to everything I say. Do you think you think you can do that? Otherwise we can leave it on, should you feel more at ease like that.”

The latter was definitely a possibility, especially for anxious demons. Sometimes the promise of freedom came with too much responsibility, and spooked them in the process.

At the mention of having his leash taken off, Aizetsu’s head jerked up and he slowly looked around the salon. As if he were deciding whether or not the area and person he found himself with was safe enough to be ok with such a thing. Nobody had ever asked him something like that – or asked him his opinion on anything, for that matter.

He was cowering so lowly, and taking so long that you were about to conclude that he wanted to keep it on. Either option was fine for you, though.

“…. take…. it….”

You were about to approach the bath by the wall when the softest noise caught your attention, and you froze. If you didn’t know any better, you could’ve sworn the sound was anything but his voice. Like the faint creak of a chair, undoubtedly from lack of use. But you did know better, and after Aizetsu had been wrapped in such silence with Takagi around, you’d almost started to believe that the demon refused to talk out of fear.

“What did you say, Aizetsu?” You gently prompted, a soft smile decorating your lips as you were starting to feel more hopeful for him. “You’ll have to speak up a bit louder, I didn’t quite get that.” You tried.

The shudder of a breath left him as he struggled with the idea that he was asked to speak his actual wants. Even if it was just a mere leash to you, to him it was anything but.

After another passing heartbeat, he tried again. His voice muffled mostly by the wall of thick hair around him. “I-I… I’d like it off.” He repeated louder this time, nearly stumbling over his words. Although it was still rather soft to you, you did manage to catch what he was trying to say. And that’s what mattered.

“Then that’s what we’ll do. If you decide later that you want it back on, just let me know, alright?” You reassured him. “I’m here to look after and take care of you, so if there’s anything you want me to know, don’t hesitate to tell me.”

You were aware this was a near impossible request for a demon pet like him to fulfill, but you laid it out there nonetheless. The more he believed he could trust you, the better. It would make this entire process so much smoother and easier on him.

“I’ll be removing your leash, then.” You informed him, remembering what Takagi had recommended: informing Aizetsu of everything you were going to do, and you assumed this regarded literally every little detail. “You have a lot of long hair though, so I will have to get up in there to do so. It might feel a little weird, but I assure you I won’t hurt you. Is that ok with you?”

The demon said nothing, and instead remained frozen on his spot on the floor. You decided to take his lack of reluctance and resistance as an answer, and slowly dropped down onto your knees while suppressing a groan from the weight of your belly, and extended your hands to the most furious black mane of chaotic hair you’d ever witnessed.

Gently, your fingers pushed aside the black locks for as much as the tangled state of them allowed you to. When he felt you touch his hair, Aizetsu took a sharp inhale and tensed like a brick.

It prompted you to halt. “Do you want me to stop?”

“N-no…” He whined out, and you almost believed he was on the verge of bursting out into tears. The poor thing was most likely expecting your touch to hurt him. Still, his answer was clear.

“Alright. I won’t hurt you, Aizetsu. I promise. I’m just going to remove the leash from your collar.” You kept reminding him as your fingers gently paved a path through his matted dark locks. Somewhere in the back of your head you wondered whether or not he genuinely believed what you were telling him, or was taking your claims as a lie wrapped up in gentleness. It was probably safe to assume the latter. But he favored the leash off so badly that he was willing to put himself through this suffering.

The demon was so tense he was actually trembling, and you were relieved when your fingers at last brushed against the familiar touch of steel at the end of the leash, and swiftly unhooked it from his collar and rolled it up in your hands.

That’s when you noticed how greasy and slick your skin had become just by lightly touching his hair. Not to mention the foul odor that now clung to your hands. Yyou had to try your best not to cringe for his sake.

Good heavens, you’d never seen a demon before that needed a bath and haircut as badly as Aizetsu did. And after four years of cleaning and taking care of rescues, that was saying a lot.

“There we go. The leash is off.” You said, ignoring the scent of death. You were going to add ‘Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?’ hadn’t the demon looked like he was moments away from passing out from shock; still as tense as a rock and trembling.

It had been a good first exercise to introduce him to non-harmful touching, but you decided it was better to give him a moment to try and recover from being touched by a literal stranger. So instead you approached the bath. “Now, what I’ll do next is run a bath for you, Aizetsu. The water will make a bit of noise and might be a tad unpleasant at first, but I assure you it will not hurt you in any kind of way.”

His steady but loud shudders of breath were the only indicator that he was listening, for they changed their rhythm every time he tried to register what you were telling him. When you turned on the water you spotted him flinching from the corner of your eye, confirming exactly what Takagi had told you about his fear of loud noises. Still, it was necessary for the process so the demon simply had to learn how to deal with it one way or another.

For now, you left the water running while turning to Aizetsu for the next step, and you were very curious how he was going to react to this. “Before we bathe you, I would like you to take off your clothes.”

The sudden request wasn’t enough to shake his tension, but you were pleased to see that his trembling ceased once his attention got shifted. The demon seemed to glance down at himself – at his long sleeved black shirt and matching loose pants, and then back up at you.

“Hmhm, those.” You affirmed, gesturing at the set of clean clothes the rescue center undoubtedly granted him. “It would be a shame if those got all wet and cold. That, and I cannot properly clean you unless you take them off.”

The demon seemed to struggle with what you were asking of him, and you didn’t blame him. Stripping in front of a stranger, especially when you’ve been neglected and abused by people from the same species must be a terribly daunting prospect, but unfortunately there was nothing else you could do to make this process any less vulnerable for him.

For a moment he hardly moved, but you waited patiently. Clearly he was considering his place here and the moments from his past. As well as the order that Takagi had given him to obey everything you asked of him, even if it went against everything his mind and body were screaming at him for the sake of self protection.

But then, slowly but surely – his long sleeves shifted and the hands he’d been hiding inside finally peeked out at the ends. You blinked, surprised to see the darker skin tone of said demon. With all of the chaotic hair you’d barely gotten a true glimpse at the actual demon yet, so to actually see details of him was a pleasant surprise because you were highly curious of what he would look like once you got through all that hair.

His hands looked like the rest of him – not taken care of in the slightest, and at the end of each finger were long, darkened fingernails that had not been clipped in forever.

Aizetsu had pushed his hands out of his sleeves to grab the hem of his shirt, but before he could nervously pull it over his head, you stopped him. “Just a second, Aizetsu. I’m going to get something real quick.”

He flinched and froze upon hearing your sudden command; instantly convinced that he’d done something wrong and upset you, and observed with tension as you pushed yourself up to walk to the back of the room to grab something, before making your way back over and slowly lowered yourself back on the floor. “You have such long nails, I think it would be good if we trimmed them a little bit before we continue.”

“W… why?” Came the muffled question from the thick mane of hair as he held his hands close to his chest, as if you were going to chop them off any moment now.

“They’re very dirty, and I might be mistaken, but I believe they are ragged and cracked at the edges.” You explained calmly, holding the clipper in front of you so he could observe it. “This is a nail clipper, it’s a simple tool to shorten your nails a little bit.”

Aizetsu cowered a little bit, and his trembling increased as he held his hands closer. “Please… don’t take my nails away…”

You shook your head, reminding yourself that despite his vulnerable display, it was important to stay positive and keep a soft smile on your lips to give him the impression it really wasn’t that serious. “I won’t, I’ll only make them a bit shorter. That way they won’t be as easily damaged, and way easier to clean.”

Aizetsu still didn’t look convinced, and you perked up as an idea struck you. “Here, I’ll show you. Look –” You raised your other hand and splayed it open so that he could clearly see your own trimmed nails. “This is what they’ll look like once I’m done.”

You got your answer regarding your earlier question whether or not the demon could actually see, because he quietly observed your raised hand before he dared to lean closer to get a better look. The demon then leaned back, peeking down at his own hands before dragging his gaze back to yours – and repeated that for a couple of times in a clear internal struggle happening inside his head.

He didn’t trust you, that much was clear. But with situations like these, he was starting to doubt his initial reaction because what you showed him made sense. More so than his instinctive responses currently did.

This was going to be a very slow process, you were beginning to realize. But it didn’t matter. This was why you only took one rescue a day and no other clients. Even if it took you all day, you were going to make sure this demon got a proper bath and haircut. You wouldn’t go home achieving anything less if it were up to you.

“Doesn’t look so bad, does it, Aizetsu?” You said, breaking through his pondering. After a heartbeat, he made the faintest shake of his head, and you smiled at his timidness. Lowering your hand between you with palm faced up, you asked; “Will you allow me to trim your nails? I promise I’ll be gentle with them.”

After all, they were very important to demons. Some of them had straight up claws, while others like Aizetsu didn’t. But there was still that sliver of instinct residing in their blood that made them believe they were very important to them, even if modern day demons didn’t hunt like they used to anymore. Without them, they felt like they had one less way of protecting themselves.

Which… was also why you needed them trimmed before you began bathing him. Takagi had advised to muzzle Aizetsu in case he ended up getting snappy to protect you from his large fangs, but demons had more than one way to harm others. Their claws – or nails in Aizetsu’s case – could still easily cut a human’s skin even with the slightest wipe. So for your own safety you always made certain to trim a demon’s claws or nails.

Another defensive tool was a demon’s horns. Fortunately for you, it appeared Aizetsu didn’t have any of those, which meant one less thing to concern yourself about.

After enough coercion, Aizetsu at last relented and tentatively held out his hand. He said nothing, but you could feel his piercing gaze nearly digging holes in your outstretched hand, ready to retreat at the first sign of you doing something he didn’t approve of, so you had to treat carefully. Lest you wished to repeat this entire cycle all over again.

“That’s good, Aizetsu.” You praised quietly as you slowly inched your hand closer to his. “May I take your hand in mine?”

There was another lack of response, but the demon didn’t retreat his hand, so you carefully reached out and took his larger hand into your own – becoming very aware of Aizetsu’s potential real size. He’d been cowering ever since he and Takagi entered the salon, so his full height and size once he stood upright on two legs was still a mystery to you.

“That’s good…” You repeated your praise in hope that would reassure him.

Gently, your fingers enclosed around his hand as you reached forward to begin the process of trimming his very long and filthy nails. You nearly failed to hide your disgust at the neglect this demon must’ve suffered through as a resounding click echoed through the space of the salon as you clipped his index finger, the top of his nail flicking into some random direction.

Aizetsu jolted lightly at the sudden noise, as expected, and you loosened your hold just enough for him to not feel restricted. His gaze focused on his trimmed nail, and much to his surprise he found that it indeed looked quite similar to your own.

It was enough to have him inch his hand closer on his own, and you went to work on his second digit, then the third, the fourth – until the entire hand was finished. All while keeping a watchful eye on his posture and reactions. Just because he was a timid demon that seemed to trust you for now, did not mean he couldn’t lash out unpredictably.

“And now the other hand.” To your surprise he obeyed without nearly any hesitation; replacing his trimmed hand with the other. A smile crept to your lips as you neatly clipped his other nails. There certainly was hope yet for this timid and anxious demon, even if his hand was literally trembling within your grasp.

“Aaaand all done. You did really well, Aizetsu.” You released his hand and watched how he observed it quietly; rubbing the pad of his thumb along the edges of his trimmed nails in an almost entranced motion. This really must’ve been the first time anyone ever trimmed his nails.

“That looks so much better.” Feeling a surge of satisfaction, you put the nail clipper to the side for now. You doubted the nails on his feet looked anything better, and in a perfect scenario you would trim those right after – but just like with their hands, demons were very protective of their feet as well. Since you were already asking so much from the anxious demon, you decided to wait with that after you bathed him and cut his hair.

Speaking of which… you suddenly found yourself conflicted as you observed the demon. He really was almost entirely covered with his long hair, and the state of it was just downright terrible. To have hair that was as tangled and matted as his must be really painful for the demon’s scalp… so much that you were actually considering already cutting pieces off before you even decided to bathe and wash him.

“Your hair must be so heavy and painful, with all those matted locks tugging against your scalp…”

You hadn’t realized you’d spoken that part out loud until Aizetsu turned his focus back to you. He briefly fidgeted with his fingers. “It does hurt.” His quiet voice broke the silence.

Your heart trembled in sympathy for the poor demon, and you swallowed against the sudden block lodged in your throat. To have him affirm your suspicions only made you feel worse, but most of all angry at the person responsible. “I’m considering cutting off some big chunks of your hair before I decide to bathe you. Would you like that?”

“Yes…” He responded almost instantly, confirming that the matter of his hair was a priority for the demon, and you felt bad for making him endure the nail clipping before even prioritizing the biggest problem in the room. You’d done so to keep yourself safe while working on him, but still.

“I will have to get close to you. Kinda like before when I detached the leash from your collar.” To emphasize the meaning, you tentatively shuffled closer, watching the demon’s posture carefully as he watched you. With his hands balled in the fabric of his pants, his body was as rigid as a rock, but aside from that you still sensed no sign of hostility from the demon.

“Rinsing your head like it is now, the weight of your hair will be immense, and I don’t want to potentially hurt you.” You explained slowly as you reached down your apron and pulled out one of your scissors from one of the small pockets and held the tool in front of him. He stared at it for a passing second before slightly leaning forward, maybe smelling it. “This is what I’ll use to cut your hair.”

The only response was a deep, shuddering sigh.

You had no clue whether your current scissors were sharp enough to cut hair of such bad quality, but you would try. You knelt down next to him and reached over him to grab locks of his dark, thick hair. Cutting off excess and terribly matted and tangled pieces that you could reach easily. All the while, Aizetsu endured the start of the haircut with the stiffness of a plank. The fierce grip he had on his pants causing his knuckles to pale.

He hated this. His previous owner hardly ever approached him and his brothers. Touches equaled pain, that’s simply how it had always been like in that basement, and If it wasn’t him who bore the front of it, it was certainly one of his brothers in the other rooms.

And while Aizetsu initially didn’t sense any hint of hostility from you, he just couldn’t let his guard down. No matter how kind you acted, you were still a total stranger. Every time you mentioned getting close, all he could see before his obscured eyes was a vague shadow looming over him, and he instinctively tensed up; preparing for a sudden blow to the head, to the hands, legs, or any other vulnerable spot.

Hearing the sound of snapping scissors, along with the ghost-like caress of your fingers through his hair made him want to rip himself away and hide somewhere until Takagi returned to pick him up. Only problem being, if he did, Aizetsu would be in big trouble, he just knew it. Everything he did could potentially be punishable. Even answering your questions felt like treading into dangerous territory, and yet refusing to answer wasn’t an option either because he’d be defying you, and that was a certified way to get punished.

Either way, he was going through hell. He was almost starting to long to be back in that dark basement. The lack of attention and the few unexpected touches his previous owner gave him were so much better than being approached and touched this much by you and the other rescue workers all so suddenly.

At least in that dark house he knew his brothers were nearby somewhere. Aizetsu hadn’t even seen them ever since he got taken from the house, and he missed them dearly. Scenarios of what happened to them constantly haunted him. Takagi did mention that he was bringing them to grooming salons as well, but somehow the meaning of that passed him by in his constant panic. He couldn’t do anything but worry for their wellbeing.

With each snip, large locks of thick hair dropped to the floor around him, and Aizetsu decided to start counting how many pieces you cut off. Anything to try to get his heart to stop bursting out of his chest from panic and stress of what his future could possibly bring.

Because so far it was only getting worse and worse since he’d been separated from his brothers...

[keerysfreckles]

august — cam cameron

pairing: cam cameron x fem!reader

summary: y/n has a summer job at the cousins bakery. cam cameron likes to find excuses to buy muffins every day.

warnings: none? just a long fic (i got carried away oopsies)

a/n: already rewatching tsitp and i finished it this week I LOVE IT SO MUCH FJSHJDHSH

masterlist !

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆ ୨୧ ˚

cousins beach was so surreal in the summertime. it was the busiest time of the year for the small town. the beaches were crowded and the boardwalk never slept.

everyone practically knew everyone. that's what y/n might have loved most about it. besides her close friend isabel conklin of course.

the girls met in the summer of 2017 when y/n's family started driving three hours to their newly bought beach house. it was in the same neighborhood as the beck house, meaning y/n and belly quickly became friends. belly always invited y/n over, and grew fondly of conrad and jeremiah fisher. she eventually learned to enjoy steven's presence as well.

the two girls have been inseparable since. every summer you'd find them attached at the hip, with conrad, jeremiah and steven following behind.

this summer however was different. not for belly though, she was still just as obsessed with the older fisher brother. the summer was already different for y/n. her father made the decision for the girl to get a summer job. her mother wasn't too thrilled with the idea, just wanting her daughter to have a memorable summer. but after officially getting hired at the local bakery, y/n didn't mind.

she's always loved going to the bakery. it was almost tradition for her mother to buy a pie to bring to susannah's fourth of july parties. y/n always begged for the double chocolate chip muffins before they left at the beginning of august. nine out of ten times she left with a smile on her face and a muffin in her hands.

the first week of work went smoothly for y/n. belly stopped by everyday to check on her. jeremiah went with her one morning for a muffin run, and conrad went with her once to buy chocolate chip cookies to cheer up a very upset steven.

two new faces came into the bakery with belly and the fisher brothers. conrad and jeremiah immediately went to the small stand with different flavors of cupcakes. belly walked up to the counter, with the two newcomers trailing behind her.

"hey bells," y/n smiles, leaning against the cold counter.

"hi," she smiles back, "i just had to bring everyone here for the best muffins in the whole wide world."

belly gestures to the two friends behind her. the girl to her right has dirty blonde hair, with thick mascara covering her eyelashes.

"this is taylor," taylor waves.

the boy to her left has brown curly hair, with darker skin than belly's, and y/n can't help but smile when be does.

"and this is cam," belly pushes him forward a bit.

"it's cam cameron actually!" jeremiah interrupts from the other side of the small store.

y/n can't help bit giggle, "cam cameron?"

"yeah, cam or uh- cameron works just as well."

y/n sends him one last smile before turning back towards belly, "so i'm guessing you didn't just come in here to chat?"

belly shakes her head and gives y/n the muffin order, including steven's request who was busy with his summer job at the pool as a server.

y/n was quick to pack the 7 muffins in a box before handing them to belly. she walked over to conrad after paying, with taylor following behind. cam sent a wave to y/n, which she happily reciprocated, before watching them walk out of the store.

—

the next day at the bakery was quite boring for y/n. an older couple came in and ordered a cake, and a family of four ordered a dozen muffins. y/n was in the middle of cleaning and rewriting on one of the chalkboards on the wall when the bell above the door rang.

"oh hey cam cameron!" y/n turned to see the curly headed boy from yesterday.

he smiled at the name, not hating it when it came out of her mouth.

"what can i do for you?" she sets down the chalk and walks behind the counter. cam follows as he stands on the opposite side.

he gives her his order, which was one blueberry muffin for himself to enjoy. she slides the small bag across the counter, but cam doesn't want to leave the store just yet.

"seeing as you're not busy," cam chuckles as he looks around the store, "do you mind if i keep you company?"

y/n instantly shakes her head, "no, no not at all. i'd actually love that today. it's been so slow."

cam nods, "yeah i saw the boardwalk was pretty busy on the way over here."

the pair talked for over an hour, when to both of them it only felt like ten minutes. y/n couldn't keep her smile off her face when he was around.

cam pauses in the middle of his story when his phone buzzes from his pocket. "shoot," he sighs, "my mom wants me home for lunch."

cam grabs his bag before walking towards the door, "i'll see you!"

y/n smiles and waves, "bye cam cameron."

for the rest of her shift y/n couldn't stop thinking about cam. their conversation earlier ranged from their favorite foods, to cam's love for marine biology, and even to y/n's hidden talent of being a boss at karaoke (belly's words, not hers.)

—

a week had passed and cam stopped by the bakery every day. his order varied from muffins, to cupcakes, to cookies. cam accidentally admitted to the girl he visited her to keep her company. it absolutely warmed her heart and a giggle fell from her lips.

y/n practically skipped out of the bakery and towards her yellow bike. she knew she'd call belly as soon as she got home to tell her what happened with cam today.

the phone rang once, then twice, then belly answered.

"hi y/n! what's up?"

"i may need some girl advice bells."

"i'm sorry?" belly's instantly confused by y/n's words.

y/n groans, not knowing how to word her feelings, "can you just come over? it'll be easier to explain."

not even five minutes after hanging up, belly's knocking on the pale blue door of y/n's parent's beach house.

"cam cameron asked me on a date," y/n was quick to the point once the two girls got to her room.

belly squealed, before asking a million questions. y/n happily answered them all, knowing belly was truly excited for her.

y/n explained to belly that cam asked her right before she left to go home after her shift at the bakery. the sun was setting, and cam was worried he'd miss her if he didn't jog the second half of the route from his house towards the bakery. she found it cute as he seemed more nervous around her today than any other day last week.

cam took a deep breath before asking y/n if she wanted to go to the boardwalk with him. with a bright smile the girl agreed.

which leads to her predicament, of not knowing weather or not cam cameron meant it as a date or not.

"he asked you personally, so obviously it's a date y/n," belly was looking through y/n's closet as the ladder layed on her unmade bed.

"but what if he just sees it as two friends hanging out?" y/n rebuttals.

belly doesn't answer, but instead she comes out with a navy blue corset type of tank top, and grabs the pair of shorts she found in y/n's dresser moments ago.

she holds the articles of clothing together, "because how can he see you as a friend if he sees you in this!"

both girls fall into a fit of giggles before you eventually get ready. y/n still had thirty minutes or so until cam was picking her up, so belly insisted on helping with the rest of the look.

she kept her hair natural, from it already being styled for work earlier in the day. she threw all her jewelry back on, considering she can't wear any at work. y/n always wore two necklaces, five rings (three on her left hand, two on the right), and a handful of bracelets adorned both her wrists.

belly helped with her mascara and lip gloss.

with one last look in her mirror, y/n and belly both giggled as a knock echoed through the whole house.

cam cameron was never speechless, but when he saw y/n standing in front of him words weren't even a thought.

"hi cam," she giggles.

"hey- hey y/n, you look great."

belly not-so-subtley squeezes her way between y/n and the door, greeting cam before she ran back to her own house.

cam and y/n started walking towards the boardwalk. the sun was still in the phase of setting. hues of orange, yellow and pink filled the sky with a couple of clouds.

the walk to the boardwalk wasn't the shortest, but y/n loved the amount of time she's able to spend with cam. they didn't stop talking the whole way there.

cam observed the girl, and noticed the small wrinkles around y/n's eyes when she laughed. he saw her fiddle with the ring on her thumb when she listened to him talk. he loved how excited she got talking about all her favorite rides at the boardwalk.

y/n wasn't the observant type, but cam was the only exception. her heart sped up when his smile got bigger as he talked about marine biology. he loved everything about whales. she noticed during the week, when he got nervous he runs his hand through his hair. he does the same motion as the two finally walk into the buzzing atmosphere of the boardwalk.

"so, what do you want to do first?" cam politely asks.

y/n can't help but giggle again, before grabbing onto his hand, "i have an idea." she simply grabs cam's hand and pulls him towards one of the many games.

—

y/n never thought her favorite night of summer would be with a boy she just met this year.

her and cam played almost every game on the boardwalk. y/n won most of them, but when cam beat her at ring toss, he gave her the purple stuffed giraffe, which she didn't dare loosen her grip on it for the rest of the night.

after games, the two sat down on a bench to eat. y/n had a massive plate of chilli cheese fries while cam had funnel cake. y/n wasn't one to question his choice, as he explained he ate an early dinner before he picked her up.

after eating they went into the arcade for a little over an hour. they walked out and the sky was now dark, with a million stars reflecting off the ocean.

now y/n and cam were walking side by side at the other end of the boardwalk. they were near the railing, away from all the games and bright lights, making it more quiet.

"i had a lot of fun tonight cam," y/n's smile hasn't left her face all day, and doesn't falter when she thanks him.

"me too, i'm glad you were able to come."

for a few moments it was quiet between the two. their hands kept brushing into each other's. y/n could feel the warmth radiating off of his hand, she couldn't help but slowly interlock her pinky with his.

"do you mind if we sit?" y/n points to a bench maybe ten feet away, "all the walking is finally catching up to me."

of course cam says yes. they sit beside each other on the cold bench, with the purple giraffe sitting lopsided by y/n's feet.

"are you not cold?" cam asks, suddenly remembering y/n was outside in only a tank top and shorts.

y/n shakes her head, "no uh- not really. i like the cold."

cam tilts his head towards her, "you sure? cause i could easily go to the gift shop for you."

y/n giggles at how sweet cam is, "really, i'm okay cam."

"do you know what you're gonna name it?" cam gestures to the giraffe he won for her earlier in the evening.

y/n shrugs, "i haven't really thought about it yet," she picks up the giraffe and studies it, "what about muffin?"

cam lets out a chuckle, "it's perfect."

a cool ocean breeze blows through the boardwalk. once it reaches y/n and cam, the girl shivers and subconsciously moves closer to cam. his cheeks flush slightly at the contact of her thigh pressing against his, and her shoulder bumping against his own.

"you sure about you not being cold?" cam laughs.

"okay, maybe it's a little cold now," y/n laughs with him.

silently, cam holds his hand open. y/n takes it, and a warm electric feeling flows through her body. cam's hand was shockingly warm, which was a great contrast to y/n's cold skin.

—

sadly, the fun night cam had planned for the pair had to come to an end. their hands never left each other's grip as cam walked y/n back to her house. once again, the two talked the whole way back.

y/n sighed once they reached the cobblestone driveway of her house. cam walked her up the steps of her porch, now turning to the girl once they reached the door.

"thank you for today cam," y/n thanked him again.

"i'm glad you had a good time," cam smiled down at the girl.

y/n smiled before leaning up to kiss the boy's cheek. her lips lingered there for a moment. just as she was about to unlock the front door, cam's voice stopped her.

"you missed."

y/n's eyesbrows furrowed.

"you missed," cam repeated.

before y/n can respond, cam grabs her hand again to pull her in front of him. he smiles before pushing his lips softly against y/n's. the kiss lasts for a few seconds before the girl pulls away. her cheeks are pink and her cold skin is suddenly warm.

"i really like you y/n," cam's voice is quiet, afraid to break the moment the two just shared.

to respond, y/n leans up to kiss cam again. this time one of her hands goes to his cheek to make the kiss become deeper. cam smiles against her lips, as his hold on her waist never falters.

this was the first of many dates for cam and y/n, and she loved every single one of them.

[tgmsunmontue]

White Hot - 2/? - Hangster

A TGM AU - Blacksmith + Metal-artist Jake and History Teacher Bradley.

ONE

                Jake is used to people coming and going through the forge. There’s a viewing platform large enough for about sixty people and a whole sound system set up so they can talk about what he’s doing while he’s working. It’s a few hours before any scheduled display though, and the forge is quiet considering how noisy it can get, and he hears someone mumble something and it has him looking up to find a guy watching him intently and he smiles in welcome and puts down his tools.

                He’s only making horseshoes for the local farrier and the souvenir shop. While he can shoe horses, he prefers far more artistic pursuits. However shoeing horses is what opened the doors. The farrier visiting his parents ranch showing him how to do it, and then taking Jake with him one weekend to show him how to make the horseshoes. He’d found it fascinating. Has always found fire fascinating and now he gets to work and play with it as much as he wants. Right now though he has to go and make nice with a visitor.

                “Hi. Can I help you?”

                “Uh. No. Just… thinking of coming back with my kids. Uh. Students. I don’t have kids.”

                Jake nods slowly, wonders what this guy’s problem is and looks behind him, wondering if something has caught on fire but then it clicks. The guy is flustered because of Jake and that has him turning back and doing a second sweep with his eyes, the long legs covered in denim, the long sleeved button-down but with the sleeves rolled up because while it’s winter, it’s still Texas and they’re also in a blacksmith forge and Jake is only wearing his own jeans and a tank, but he’s got a thick leather apron to protect him, along with the gloves, which he slowly pulls off and he doesn’t miss the way the guys eyes track the movement.

                “Name’s Jake Sersin,” Jake says, holding his hand out. “What age do you teach?”

                “High school. History,” the guy provides and he shakes Jake’s hand.

                “Cool. You scoping it out to bring them to the village?”

                “Yeah. One of the other teachers recommended it actually, seeing as I’m new to the area. I’m just a little worried that most of the kids will have been here before, what I can get them to consider…”

                Jake thinks he’d have likely enjoyed History a damn sight more if his teacher had looked like this, because Mrs Watson was probably a lovely person, but she should have also probably retired ten years before Jake started high school.

                “What high school?”

                “Johnson High?”

                “No shit? Really? My old school… my history teacher was Mrs Watson.”

                “Yeah, she retired. I’m her replacement.”

                “Like… recently?”

                “Yeah. I’ve only been here since August.”

                “Holy shit, I thought she was old when I was there…” Jake muses and the hot history teacher is looking amused. “Well, anyway, welcome to Texas I guess…”

                “Thanks. I’ll let you go back to your, uh, work…”

                Then he’s kind of fumbling an awkward step backwards, not that there is anything to trip on, waving a hand in an awkward half-wave and he’s gone before Jake can say wait, or ask him out, so he just has to hope he’ll be back. And if Jake has to ask him out in front of an entire class of high schoolers, then so be it.

THREE

[tlouadditc]

Hiii, first of all I love all your content. Could you pls make a one shot or a story about y/n as a cheerleader or something else and ellie as a football player in college? <3

touchdown.

college football!ellie x cheerleader!reader.

a/n: tysm for this req!! i had fun writing this even though i have no idea what goes on in sports (oops). keep that in mind so if i got something wrong, forgive me!! also ellie has the farm!ellie haircut because thats my fav ellie. anyway, enjoy <33

warnings: smut with plot, 18+ (MDNI), lowercase intended, a lil bit of fluff at the beginning [if u squint!], dirty talk (a lot of it.), daddy kink [oops!!], mean ellie, teasing, short nipple play [literally one line], ruined orgasm, no aftercare [eek.] NOT PROOFREAD LOL.

it's late august, the mild heat hitting your back as you walk to your dorms. the season officially starts in a couple of days- meaning the first football game is also gonna happen in a couple days- and you're the most worked up you've ever been. the break was nice; being able to see your family consistently for a couple months was much needed. but as you opened the door to your dorm, you realized you can't reminisce about the break. get ready for the next week.

as you begin to unpack your bags, you hear the door slightly open behind you. you smile, knowing who's there already. a familiar pair of arms wrap around your waist, pulling your hips back slightly. "she's baaaaack," ellie says quietly, kissing your neck gently as she rocks your hips side to side. you chuckle slightly, turning to look at your girlfriend. "missed you, babe," you say, fully embracing her in your arms. you feel her smile into your neck. pulling back, you give her a small peck on the cheek and admire her.

"new hair?" you question, noticing a small change; the length. she steps back, nodding. "you like it?" she says, still smiling. her auburn hair was cut right to her chin with a side part plastered into it. "i love it, actually," you declare, tucking some stray hairs back behind her pierced ears. "suits you."

she grins before sitting on your bed. "enough about my changes," she begins, "how was your break? you ready for another season of being my personal cheerleader?" you laugh, "babe, i have to cheer for everyone. but my break was good, i guess. was thinking of you the entire time."

"whaaaatever," she teases, rolling her eyes playfully. "i missed you more. almost went crazy without you." ellie was always super dramatic when it came to you; the entire break, she complained about how she was gonna die if she didn't see you in the next couple of hours. it's something you loved about her.

"oh, that reminds me," you suddenly utter, rushing to your closet to grab something. "we got new outfits!"

"oh, yeah?" ellie sat up on your bed, fully attentive to the outfit in question. "let me see it." you excitedly hold it up; a black mini pleated skirt with red glittery trim on the bottom. a matching cropped tank top came with it. it had your college's mascot plastered on the front with your last name on the back.

"wow," she clears her throat, eyes blown wide while eyeing it up and down. "i think you should t-try it on." you giggle and turn to go change.

after a couple minutes, you get it on. before you leave, you assess how it fits on you; your boobs are perfectly sitting inside the tank top, making your figure look sleek and classy. the skirt, however.. bend over and your ass is completely out. you stare at yourself, taking in everything. you snap out of your daze when you hear ellie knock on the door. "babe? you good in there?" she asks, a slight tone of concern being heard. without answering, you open the door to reveal yourself.

for a few seconds, she stands there, mouth open. no words. just admiring every part of you. she moves her hands to your sides, mouthing wow as her eyes travel up and down your body. "you like?" you ask, slightly smirking as you look into her eyes.

"god, i love it," she breathes, her eyes moving from your body up to your eyes. a hand goes to your skirt, lifting it up. "but this lil' skirt's gonna distract everyone, y'know that?"

before you can respond, someone bangs at the front door, causing you both to jump. "y/n!" they yelled, "practice is starting! hurry up!"

goddamnit, you think. you look at ellie with apologetic eyes, grabbing your stuff. almost as if she can read your mind, she goes to the door and yells, "i'll see you down there, babe. tell em' i'll be late!"

practice was boring. a lot of forced small-talk with your teammates about their break, the drills were actually ass, it was a bad start to the season. ellie, who was on the other side of the field you were practicing on, was eyeing you the entire time. the way your skirt went up and revealed your ass took away every ounce of attention that was meant for her sport.

you knew what you were doing. you felt her eyes on you the entire time. anytime you had a chance to tease her when nobody was looking, you'd flip your skirt up and play it off as you fixing your outfit.

after practice, you go back to your dorm and take a quick shower. as soon as you grab your towel, your phone vibrates.

ellie: open the door

you look at the text, confused. nonetheless, you walk to the door in your towel and look through the peephole. ellie's there, waiting impatiently. you unlock the door and twist the knob to open it.

as soon as you open it, ellie forces her way in. she pushes you onto your bed, turning back to close and lock the door. when she turns back to you, you see her dark expression. she's definitely frustrated, pissed even. before you can ask any questions, she simply states:

"you think you can tease me all day and get away with it?"

you're still confused, forgetting completely about practice. when it hits you, she has a slight smirk on her face. "yeah, you remember."

she gets on top of you, planting small, but passionate kisses from your cheeks down to your collarbone. "flipping up that small fucking skirt, thinking i wouldn't do anything to you," she mumbles, pulling down the top of your towel, exposing your breasts. she cups one in each hand, running her thumb over your nipple. "these pretty fuckin' tits," she continues, "bouncing every time you jump.. fuckin' driving me crazy, y'know?"

you whimper, getting wetter by the second. "oh, you want me to fuck you, huh?" she coos, moving down to your ear. "want me to fuck you dumb? make you cum all night?" all you can do is mumble small yes's, feeding into your submission. "oh, i know, baby."

she pulls the towel off of you, fully exposing your damp body. her hands roam from your sides down to your sopping wet cunt, earning a small gasp from you. "what? you want me to touch you here, doll?" she asks, slightly in a mocking tone. you nod feverishly, opening your legs a bit. the wetness coats your inner thighs, glistening in the light above you two.

"god, so wet just for me?" she asks, looking you in the eyes. her middle finger traces along your slit, collecting your slick on her finger. you whine, opening your legs wider so she can slip a finger in you.

"what do you want? hm?" she moves right in front of your face, keeping her middle finger at your entrance. "use your words, baby."

"p-please fuck me, ellie."

"that's not the name you use. you know that."

"fuck- please, i n-need it."

"what's my name?"

you hesitate before answering quietly, "daddy."

"that's right. good girl."

she slips her middle finger into you, earning a gasp from you as you clench around her finger. she moves it in and out as you try to gain any friction from her palm. you look so needly, so helpless in this state; it turns ellie on so much. she's just looking down at you, watching you get off like a fucking dog.

"fuck, you look so good like this baby," she whispers, teasing another finger at your entrance. you pathetically whimper and hold her arm with both hands. "you want another?"

the way she asks you is in a mocking way, making you feel dumb under her touch. but it feels to good to stop now. you nod, almost crying, chasing your orgasm.

"do you deserve it, baby?" she speaks, looking you directly in your eyes. "do you really? answer me."

she's slowing down. you beg and plead for her to keep going; all you can hear are your babbles, "pleasepleaseplease daddy, i need it, i'll be good i promise, im sorry"

"you should've thought about that before you teased me, slut."

she completely removes her fingers, making you whine in frustration. you're mad, but to be fair.. you brought it on yourself.

a/n: this took so long omg writers block is an ass. anyway. might make another part, i just need more ideas if i make another.

[arimiadev]

How to Make a Visual Novel in a Weekend

(you can read this blog post on my website or down below)

Making a visual novel is already hard, so how do you make one in a game jam where you have a set deadline? Or worse, how do you make an entire visual novel in only a weekend? What about when you have to use certain themes in the game and can’t go fully freeform?

Game jams are such a great way to get started making visual novels—I first got my start with Ludum Dare 10 years ago, as of this August. They force you to downsize a lot, to focus on what matters and most importantly, have a tight deadline hanging over your head that you can’t push back. Some game jams, like my upcoming Otome & Josei Jams, allow users a much longer timeframe of 2 months and don’t restrict on themes. Others like Ludum Dare only give you a weekend (though there are other formats now) and require you to use a user-voted theme that’s only made public when the jam starts.

With the tight deadlines and possibility of restrictions, how do you make a visual novel that quickly? Is that even humanly possible??

First off, if you’re completely beginner to visual novels, check out my newbie guide on how to make visual novels which goes over the basics, terminology, engines, and more.

Earlier this month I entered Velox Formido, a visual novel jam inspired by Ludum Dare with a few tweaks:

Themes are still voted on but you have to incorporate at least 2 of the top 5 themes

The jam only lasts 36 hours from start to submission

Very, very tight! Still, I was able to squeak out a new game- Dahlia, a short story about being trapped with a cute (but possibly hungry) vampire. While you can read about my creative choices in my post-mortem for the game, today I want to talk about how you can recreate my process.

jam requirements

First off, you need to become familiar with the jam you’re entering. If you’re not entering a jam but rather just making a game in a weekend for fun, skip this.

You’ll want to have a clear idea of each of these parts…

rules

What rules does the jam have? Do they stipulate what kind of stories you can enter? For instance, most game jams that require the developers or a panel of judges to rate games (i.e. competitive jams) won’t allow 18+ content in the games.

engines

Similar to the rules, some game jams stipulate what engines you can use. Be sure to know this ahead of time. If a game jam doesn’t say there’s an engine requirement, however, you can usually use whatever you want.

themes

Will you be required to use certain themes or can you make a VN fully up to you? Sometimes themes feel too restrictive, while other times they help guide you to a more solid idea.

jump right in

Once the game jam starts, dive right in! …That is, if you have an idea of what to do.

ideas

Ideas are a dime a dozen—truly, it’s in the execution. Still, you need some kind of idea and you need it fast if you only have a weekend to finish the game.

After taking into consideration the rules and themes for the jam, I then start rapidly brainstorming ideas I would be okay working on. If one of the themes is forbidden romance, then what kind of couple would I want to write? What kind of story beats could I do with flower symbolism?

This stage needs to be quick. It’s okay to scrap ideas, but you need to stick to one and fast. For Velox Formido, I initially started writing one idea but scrapped it a couple hours later to begin the idea I ended up finishing.

Don’t be afraid to change your idea- but make sure the one you stick with is one you’re happy with!

work flow

How do you begin making a new game concept?

For me, I’m an artist, writer, and programmer, so I can make a game by myself. I’m fine with starting on writing or concept art first, it just depends on my mood. For this recent Velox Formido, I started on writing first, just going with the first ideas in my head. Other times, I start with concept art so I have a clearer idea of the characters as I’m writing.

There is no wrong way to start making a visual novel, except to not start at all!

If you feel like starting on an outline for the game, go for it. Want to dive into character art? Do it!

managing time

Having only a weekend to make a visual novel is just- well, it’s a weekend. It goes by so fast so you have to be aware of how long parts will take you. If you’ve never made a visual novel before, it’s even harder to gauge how quickly you can do things.

How long does it take you to draw a character sprite? How many characters will you have? How fast can you write 1k or 3k words? Will you have time to program the art and writing into the engine? What about music, GUI, sound effects?

scope

You need to keep the scope of the game small. Tiny. Even tinier than whatever you’re thinking.

Think of it in terms like this:

how many characters will I have?

will there be any choices?

what ending(s) will it have?

do I need to make a GUI?

speed

I know I can make art pretty quickly when I throw caution to the wind, but I still have to limit how much art I make. For instance, in Dahlia I wanted to draw CGs, but I ended up spending too much time on the writing and only started on the art 12 hours before the deadline. I was able to finish the 2 character sprites in just 2 hours, but then I had to grind to finish the programming.

In order to finish in time, my weekend long games are no more than 3 characters. 2 is the perfect amount, really. You can have a succinct, interesting story with just 2 characters in a room together and it leaves less artwork to worry about.

advice

Now that we’ve talked about different aspects of making a visual novel in just a weekend, I want to zone in on my process with advice.

focus on your idea

Follow the idea you have and really dig into it. Flesh it out as soon as you can so you have a solid idea of what the endpoint you’re headed towards looks like.

do things faster

I don’t outline for weekend jams. I outline for my normal visual novels, but not for weekend jams. There’s just not enough time aside from making a few bullet points and running with it.

Whatever speed you make things at, you have to make them even faster. That means less edits in your writing. Less rendering in your art. Less polish in your programming. There’s just not enough time for it all.

If you’re writing, focus on getting to 1 ending. Don’t worry about extra choices or nameable protagonists or extra side characters. If you’re drawing, you need to use an art style that’s easy to render. Don’t spend so much time on lineart and shading. If you’re programming, set up ways to make your setup faster. Define transforms, positions, and more that you can reuse multiple times and get in the habit of copy+paste.

reuse what you can

Like I said, don’t hesitate to reuse any snippets of programming that you can use multiple times. When I was drawing the character sprites in Dahlia, they both have the same base- this saved me maybe half an hour of redrawing parts that ultimately didn’t matter.

Be sure to check what you can and can’t reuse beforehand. For instance, a lot of jams require you to not start on the game beforehand, meaning you can’t use previously made assets unless they’re publicly available. Don’t slip up on this detail!

cut out even more

You probably think that your scope is doable in the time frame, but it most likely isn’t. Don’t be afraid to cut it down even more to save yourself time and headache. Ideally, you’ll want everything in the game finished before the final hour of the jam so you have time to playtest and ensure the game actually runs from start to finish (yeah, remember bug testing?).

use resources

Have in mind what parts of the game you’re not going to make. I’m not going to make music for a game jam (I’m not musically talented) and I don’t usually recruit others for weekend long jams. Instead, I use premade music that I’m able to put in my games legally.

Know where to find these kind of resources if you need art, music, GUIs, etc. before the jam starts. I have a growing list of visual novel development resources here.

focus on the MVP

Don’t get distracted by the things that don’t matter. Do you really need this extra character? A wardrobe change? An extra ending?

Focus on the core of your game. Why are you making it? What is the feeling you hope to give the player? What is the overall goal of the game?

With Dahlia, I wanted a somewhat whimsical and slightly tense story about a midnight intruder, how unnerving it would be to have a person invade your private space in the middle of the night but looking like a fancy doll.

How will you present your idea with such limited time?

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Wow, April really went fast. Before I knew it was the end of the month- wasn’t it April Fools last week and I was rushing to draw our studio mascot genderbent? And now Otome & Josei Jam start in 24 hours…. There’s never enough time!!

Quick list of what I’ve got going on:

First, we just announced that the Battle Action Fantasy jam will be returning this June! Create a chuuni visual novel inspired by battle action manga you’d see in Shounen Jump. Second, I’ll be entering Otome Jam this year and returning to a directorial spot! More details on that later….

Third, it’s Kickstarter season. If you’re thinking about holding your own Kickstarter or want consultation on marketing for you visual novel studio, I’m still open for freelance.

— Arimia

[antimony-medusa]

MCYT on Ao3 — October '23

The state of MCYT on Ao3, just for fun. Yes I do this every month, I like numbers. 

October is the month of Kinktober/Flufftober/Whumptober/Goretober, so potentially the numbers go WILD this time. Let's get into it.

The Cube SMP (8 works)

Slamacow Minecraft Animations (Web Series) (9 works)

iDots SMP (24 works)

30 Day SMP | Free Trial SMP (27 works)

Legacy SMP (28 works)

Cogchamp SMP (29 works)

Epic SMP (31 works)

Art of Survival SMP (32 works)

Dominion SMP (32 works)

Shady Oaks SMP (46 works)

X Life SMP (48 works)

100 Hours Hardcore SMP (54 works)

IvoryCello's Prison Escapes (Web Series) (55 works)

Bear SMP (59 works)

Kaboodle SMP (66 works)

SadSMP (68 works)

Area Unknown SMP (79 works)

Mer SMP (79 works)

Tortillaland SMP (116 works)

House Builder Gang SMP | HBG SMP (133 works)

New Life SMP (141 works)

Slimecicle Cinematic Universe (Web Series) (149 works)

Pirates SMP (150 works)

WitchCraft SMP (169 works)

Rats SMP (210 works)

SMPEarth (278 works)

SMPLive (288 works)

Outsiders SMP (345 works)

Mianite (Web Series) (366 works)

Afterlife SMP (386 works)

MindCrack RPF (499 works)

Evolution SMP (594 works)

Karmaland SMP (799 works)

Fable SMP (862 works)

Lifesteal SMP (1,308 works)

Origins SMP (1,511 works)

The Yogscast (3,197 works)

QSMP | Quackity SMP (4,703 works)

Empires SMP (5,873 works)

3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series (8,325 works)

Hermitcraft SMP (18,084 works)

Dream SMP (82,097 works)

Minecraft (Video Game) (109,017 works)

Video Blogging RPF (267,675 works)

Some notes:

No new tags this month! So, y'know, we'll have to be content with our 43 mcyt tags. Just that.

Fics are still primarily in english, but we have three exceptions with significant spanish fics. Karmaland (711 of 797, from 691 spanish fics last month), Tortillaland (111 of 116, from 108 spanish fics last month), and QSMP (527 of 4,689, from 466 spanish fics last month). QSMP also shows 244 fics in brazilian portugese, from 175 last month, and 26 in french, from 19 last month.

In the small and micro fandoms, the standout was definiately Pirates SMP, which since being canonized last month has increased by 45 fics. Just by sheer volume of growth versus fandom, mention must be made of idots, which went up by 10 fics from a baseline of 16 last month. Given that the most recent post in the tag was in july, that had to have meant something got wrangled into the tag, or else someone was backdating like CRAZY.

In the midsize fandoms, the standout is, as ever, Fable SMP, with an increase of 95 fics. I think we're starting to get into the whumptober type numbers now, because they were the midsize standout last month with an increase of 33 fics, so that's an increase of almost 200%. Evolution SMP also went up by 49 fics, in contrast to last month's 24.

For the larger fandoms, there were spikes in every fandom, but the big spike I was expecting for whumptober did not really materialize in each fandom. Empires saw an increase of 240 in contrast to 154, but that didn't beat the previous month's 244. However, 3rd Life went up by 463, beating the past three months of numbers as the highest month in that stretch was 395 in August, and last month was only 340. Hermitcraft also beat the last three months, as it went up by 714, and the previous months were 453, 569, and 501, respectively. QSMP went up by 861, beating last month's 725, but, interestingly, exactly matching August's 861. DSMP continues to be the fandom no one can beat for pure volume, as it went up by 1,445, which did beat September's 1,171, but did not exceed August's 1,459. Last year the DSMP jump between October and November was over 7k fics, which at the time I attributed to whumptober, but now is looking more like something getting wrangled into the tag. Not everybody is whumping their guys, I guess.

Detailed breakdown of increases under the cut.

The Cube SMP (8 works, 8 last month, 0-fic increase)

Slamacow Minecraft Animations (Web Series) (9 works, 8 last month, 1-fic increase)

iDots SMP (24 works, 14 last month, 10-fic increase)

30 Day SMP | Free Trial SMP (27 works, 27 last month, 0-fic increase)

Legacy SMP (28 works, 28 last month, 0-fic increase)

Cogchamp SMP (29 works, 29 last month, 0-fic increase)

Epic SMP (31 works, 31 last month, 0-fic increase)

Art of Survival SMP (32 works, 32 last month, 0-fic increase)

Dominion SMP (32 works, 32 last month, 0-fic increase)

Shady Oaks SMP (46 works, 45 last month, 1-fic increase)

X Life SMP (48 works, 46 last month, 2-fic increase)

100 Hours Hardcore SMP (54 works, 54 last month, 0-fic increase)

IvoryCello's Prison Escapes (Web Series) (55 works, 53 last month, 2-fic increase)

Bear SMP (59 works, 58 last month, 1-fic increase)

Kaboodle SMP (66 works, 56 last month, 10-fic increase)

SadSMP (68 works, 68 last month, 0-fic increase)

Area Unknown SMP (79 works, 72 last month, 7-fic increase)

Mer SMP (79 works, 74 last month, 5-fic increase)

Tortillaland SMP (116 works, 113 last month, 3-fic increase)

House Builder Gang SMP | HBG SMP (133 works, 134 last month, 1-fic decrease)

New Life SMP (141 works, 127 last month, 14-fic increase)

Slimecicle Cinematic Universe (Web Series) (149 works, 138 last month, 11-fic increase)

Pirates SMP (150 works, 105 last month, 45-fic increase)

WitchCraft SMP (169 works, 164 last month, 5-fic increase)

Rats SMP (210 works, 208 last month, 2-fic increase)

SMPEarth (278 works, 273 last month, 5-fic increase)

SMPLive (288 works, 283 last month, 5-fic increase)

Outsiders SMP (345 works, 314 last month, 31-fic increase)

Mianite (Web Series) (366 works, 363 last month, 3-fic increase)

Afterlife SMP (386 works, 382 last month, 4-fic increase)

MindCrack RPF (499 works, 493 last month, 6-fic increase)

Evolution SMP (594 works, 545 last month, 49-fic increase)

Karmaland SMP (799 works, 777 last month, 22-fic increase)

Fable SMP (862 works, 767 last month, 95-fic increase)

Lifesteal SMP (1,308 works, 1,220 last month, 88-fic increase)

Origins SMP (1,511 works, 1,478 last month, 33-fic increase)

The Yogscast (3,197 works, was not tracking last month)

QSMP | Quackity SMP (4,703 works, 3,842 last month, 861-fic increase)

Empires SMP (5,873 works, 5,633 last month, 240-fic increase)

3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series (8,325 works, 7,862 last month, 463-fic increase)

Hermitcraft SMP (18,084 works, 17,370 last month, 714-fic increase)

Dream SMP (82,097 works, 80,652 last month, 1,445-fic increase)

Minecraft (Video Game) (109,017 works, 108,355 last month, 662-fic increase)

Video Blogging RPF (267,675 works, 262,973 last month, 4,702-fic increase)

[dokidokiliteraturegirls]

Progress Update: September 2024

Hello everyone! Yui Wrong here, to give you an update regarding the progress that's been made towards bringing Feel Less back from hiatus 💖

So! Soon it'll be 2 months since Feel Less went on hiatus. And on the one hand that kinda pisses me off bc I really really like publishing this webcomic and not doing it feels like I'm missing something important from my life 😭 on the other hand, I'm satisfied with the progress that's been made! Development of updates #37 and #38 has been steady, so I don't feel like I've wasted time. However, although I've been consistently making progress towards Feel Less's return, I feel like there's been some radio silence here in the blog, so I wanted to give you all an update about how things have been going ^^

For starters, lemme start with what I've been doing. Before doing any illustrations for the new updates, I decided to take a small break to practice my art style, as I was really unsatisfied with how my drawings were coming out. I focused on head shapes, as those felt inconsistent in my art. Here's a couple doodles I did in August for practice

I want to keep practicing, but I decided figuring out a consistent head shape was enough for now and got to work on the updates. And I'm glad I did! I do believe there's been some noticeable improvement in some pieces~ Like for example, take this old MG illustration compared to a WIP for update #38

I like both, but I'm especially happy with the 2nd one~

After practicing for a couple of weeks I went straight into planning out the next updates and got to work on the artwork. And the result was that... 29 illustrations in total would be needed for updates #37 and #38!!

That's. Too many. So while drawing I've also been cutting the plan down and deleting some superfluous panels. After trimming the excess, I ended up with a much more realistic... 27 panels!! There, now that's doable 🥰

I jest of course, but my point is that a lot of work needs to be done and I've been consistently going at it for the past 2 months. As of now, 9 of the illustrations have been fully completed. I also have 2 WIPS I'm currently working on, so that number will go up soon.

Does this mean it'll take 4 more months to get this done? Of course not! ...hopefully. Listen, I make no promises, but I'll try not to take too long. I value your time and am really grateful for your patience. Besides, I don't want people getting bored because I took too long to return from a cliffhanger. I'm not Andrew Hussie. My full time job and real life chores usually mean that I only have about an hour a day to work on art, but I have a couple plans to make production faster, such as cutting down some more planned panels and buying a keyboard that doesn't make noise. Why would a keyboard's noise be relevant? Well, it's not. I mean, I guess if I had that, I'd be able to draw while taking calls from work without my bosses noticing, as it wouldnt be picked my the microphone, and that'd give me an extra 10 hours a day to draw. But I won't do that, because that'd be irresponsible and unprofessional. So therefore, the keyboard is irrelevant. Forget I mentioned it.

Also, a point I imagine some people might be wondering: Why make it so long anyway? There's no one forcing me to have complicated scenes or almost 30 illustrations. It's my webcomic, I can do whatever I want. And taking a long break where I'm not even on break might sound like a dumb idea. However, for me, Feel Less is not just a webcomic I publish on my free time. I'd like it to be a showcase of the very best I can do at the point in time when an update is posted. From that perspective, it'd be dumb not to put effort into it. To compromise the quality of my works for the sake of following a schedule has never been something I've been a fan of. Now, I do want to be realistic, but also I don't want to feel like I'm giving up and just putting out whatever I can finish by my imaginary deadline. It's a delicate balance, but for these two updates in specific, I think quality should take precedence for a bit. My goal is for you guys to read them and go "oh, no wonder it took a while". At least for those 2, then we can go back to schedule.

Overall, my point is: progress is being made! It's currently all being done behind closed doors, so it might not be noticeable for you guys. But I promise, I haven't been twiddling my thumbs for these past 2 months! Maybe I should've, because my hands are quite cramped tbh. But no matter, art must be made! In the meantime, I'll leave you with a couple panels I've finished so you guys can see some of the work that's been done~

I'll continue updating you guys as time goes on~ If you want consistent updates, I've been dropping the number of finished panels on the discord server every time I'm done with one! Also, if you'd like to help me get to the point where I can work only 5 hours a day and put more time into the comic, you can support me on Patreon and get some goodies and custom drawings while you're there ^^

Thank you all once again for your patience, I'll keep working hard for you all 💖

[h3lfaerie]

Hello, beautiful people!

Fae is here once again with a bit of an announcement! While I’m doing my best to finish the new chapter of Path of Alfheim before New Year’s Eve (and that’s still the goal), I have quite a bit left to write still. Unfortunately it doesn’t even include the proofreading and edits I’ll need to tackle once the draft is complete (those are non-negotiables, I'm not giving you a half-assed chapter). So, at this rate there’s a good chance I won’t hit the exact deadline I originally set (I'M REALLY SORRY!!). BUT rest assured— I'm actively working on it. It will be posted as soon as possible.

Aside from that, I would like to address something very important in this particular post.

And that is the lack of consistent updates since July 2024. Originally, my schedule was to release a chapter per month, and I even considered posting twice a month if possible. However, a significant reason for this inconsistency has been starting a new job—one I began in August 2024, and one I’ve now officially quit. (YAY!!🥳)

Though I'm beyond happy to be free of that place, even if I need employment to support myself, let me serve as a cautionary tale to every artist out there: NEVER set foot in a casino, whether to work or to gamble. For the love of whatever higher power you believe in... avoid it at all costs. I have never felt more drained, overworked, and physically crippled by a job than I did working as a croupier (and trust me, I've worked a lot of jobs). These establishments are quite literally designed to drain your energy and spirit. And in my case it absolutely sucked my soul out. I am actually sick as I'm writing this, and I have been sick for the last 2 weeks.

I strongly believe that this job played a major role in affecting my ability to write consistently and passionately, as I originally did when I started this project. Between 48-hour work weeks and predominantly night shifts, my energy and focus were completely drained.

When I began this project in November 2023, I was so inspired that by New Year’s Eve, I had already published five chapters. Chapter 5 in particular might be the most visited part of the story out of everything I've published yet, and I wrote it overnight... Need I say more?

As I’ve mentioned before, I am a performing artist.

Though I've never elaborated before, mainly for the sake of privacy, allow me to do so now: I have a degree in Acting & Performance. I have over 10 years of stage experience across various disciplines, including acting, dancing, singing, and cosplay. I'm a die-hard nerd, an amateur writer, and most of the time, an absolute train wreck but above all I know my purpose on this Earth is to produce as much art as possible. This project is undoubtedly a part of that mission.

While things are still up in the air for me—and I’ll need to find another job soon—this time, it will be in the creative field. My CV is packed with jobs I never wanted but had to take in order to support myself.

I’m determined to change that.

I hope you’ll stick around to see this story progress once more, as it’s meant to. I’m still replenishing my energy and finding my footing, but I’ve removed one massive obstacle from my path. Let’s just say you might want to brace yourselves for the biggest comeback of the year.

Thank you for your continued support, love, and patience. It truly means the world to me, as I've said over a thousand times by now but I'll never stop saying it.

I’ll catch up on any comments left under Path of Alfheim or on this blog during my working-like-a-dog era as soon as possible.

But for now, I’m thrilled to say I got out—and I’m feeling better than ever.

[jheseltheunswerving]

Bill Cipher is an Icarus

Originally posted on the Gravity Falls Amino in August, 2019.

In Greek mythology, Icarus was the son of Daedalus who was ordered by King Minos to build a structure that could contain a creature called the Minotaur. Rather than building a prison, Daedalus constructed a labyrinth so complex that anyone who entered could never find their way back out. 

Wanting to keep the Minotaur a secret, King Minos locked away Daedalus and his family, including Icarus. 

But Daedalus was clever. He built two pairs of wings out of wax and feathers. One for him and one for Icarus. Once the time came to make the attempt to escape, Daedalus warned Icarus not to fly too close to the sun or the wax in his wings would melt. With that, the two started flying toward freedom.

Caught up in the sensation of flight, Icarus forgot his father’s warnings. He went higher and higher, seizing as much of that freedom as he could. He didn’t even notice the wax holding his wings together was melting. Suddenly, the feathers became too loose, and Icarus fell to his death in the sea. 

The story of Icarus is referenced to a couple times in Journal 3 by Ford. The first time he’s talking about how jealous he is of his “Muse” (Bill Cipher) for being free from all physical limitations. If a person spends eight hours of every day asleep, then they would be wasting about ⅓ of their life. While working on the portal, Fiddleford was the first to give into fatigue, and warned Ford not to stay up too late:

“‘Don’t forget what happened to Icarus,’ he told me as he packed up his things and left.

‘He didn’t flap hard enough,’ I replied.”

When Ford finds out what Bill was really planning, he admits Fiddleford was right. 

“If only Icarus could see me now.” Ford’s confession that he has flown too close to the sun, a consequence that almost resulted in his and the world’s undoing. 

But we know how that story ended, and it wasn’t just Ford’s wings that burned. The moral of Icarus’s story is to never forget your limitations. This is why I argue that the other Icarus in “Gravity Falls” is Bill Cipher.

Over the course of his story, Bill had one goal: to be free from all limitations. How this ambition developed doesn’t matter. What’s important to understand is that Bill’s ultimate goal was to be free from laws and restrictions, and that is why he burned his dimension.

Oh, and for some reason there is still some question if Bill burned his dimension. Let me clear that up. 

It’s in the Axolotl’s poem 

It’s in the journal

He admits to it

I hope that cleared up any doubts anyone may still have had.

However, burning his dimension didn’t give Bill the freedom he was after. After the fact, he was trapped in the Nightmare Realm for one trillion years, only able to interact with the physical world by means of possession or through the mindscape. That’s a pretty big limitation. That’s why whenever he came close to overcoming that barrier, and failed, he got visibly frustrated and angry. 

Absolute freedom is what Bill preached to justify what he was doing. It was his way of convincing himself that what he was doing, however messed up, wasn’t wrong. Why does he need to convince himself? Because freedom, the one thing he’s after, is the one thing he can never truly have. 

The Axolotl’s poem, as I showed you before, gives hints to Bill’s possible return. It’s not a particularly new discovery. Most everyone knows this by now, but for the sake of completion, let me recite those hints one more time:

“If he wants to shirk the blame, he’ll have to invoke (the Axolotl’s) name

One way to absolve his crime. A different form, a different time.”

Basically, if Bill wants to further avoid punishment for the arson, he can invoke the Axolotl. But this proves something about Bill. He’ll never be truly free from the responsibility of burning his dimension. He knows this, and it enrages him. 

I mean, how infuriating it must be that the one limitation he can never be free from is the one he imposed on himself. And it’s almost poetic that his downfall happened in a blue fire, similar to his blue fire that he ignites when he makes a deal. Almost like the deal he made with Stan was the moment he flew too close to the sun. 

Since the show ended, there has been a debate whether Bill is evil or tragic. This is my way of arguing both. The truth is, I don’t think there is an evil character who isn’t tragic. Anyone who believes that instigating fear and chaos is the right thing to do must have gone through a lot of pain themselves. That doesn’t make it okay. But it is tragic. 

I think what makes an Icarus is when a person gets too cocky and too comfortable, and they start to think they’re invincible. That’s when they fly too close to the sun. But I don’t think the moral of the story should be “remember your limitations”. I think it should be, “stay grounded”. Don’t be afraid to take risks, just remember that they’re risks. And be prepared that you might fall. 

2024 Review: This is the second of two posts from Amino I'm posting on this blog. I will be creating one more, original post that briefly summarizes my opinion on Bill as of today, which I will later reblog after The Book of Bill comes out.

[zot3-flopped]

It was just by chance that tragic Liam Payne met Rogelio ‘Roger’ Nores — the Argentinian multi-millionaire who was with the former teen heartthrob in the fateful hours before he died. In 2020, the One Direction star was at a dinner party at the London home of Edward Enninful, the former editor of British Vogue, when he was introduced to the energy entrepreneur, and they quickly struck up a bond. Nores would go on to work hard behind the scenes to keep Payne clean – but friends worried he was isolating the musician. Earlier this year, Payne ended up moving close by Nores and a few other pals in Florida as he tried to make a fresh start following years of struggles with addiction. He had, friends said, suffered a few “traumatic episodes” over the past two years, but things looked brighter and he had only recently moved into a $9,500-a-month Spanish-style mansion in Palm Beach with his girlfriend, social media influencer Kate Cassidy, while Nores owns an apartment in Miami Beach. He loved bowling and was learning to play polo.

During the summer, however, Nores went off to Europe with his girlfriend, while Payne went to Manchester, England, with a nine-person team, including Cassidy, family members and stylists, to film his new Netflix show, “Building the Band” with Nicole Scherzinger and Kelly Rowland. It was not a decision that Nores was happy with, as he feared that Payne might relapse, we’re told, as he knew too many dealers in the UK.

In a note seen by Page Six, Nores emailed Payne’s father, Geoff, and his management team in August and made his worries crystal clear as the singer had only been clean for four months.

He wrote, “Liam stayed at my friend’s ranch down in Palm Beach and since the first day he arrived he was monitored and treated by professional doctors who specialize in addictions. He stayed fully clean without access to any hard drug (sic) during his whole stay. “The plan was for him to work on the preparation for a music tour and stay healthy and busy with work. A plan he successfully followed during his whole stay in the US.” However, Nores continued, “I’m really concerned for his well-being while he is out there and I hope you can bring professional doctors to check on his health regularly as soon as possible as I did while he was out in the US."

One source who knows Nores said, “They were opposites, Roger had never tried a drug in his life, he never drinks, he’s not a party guy, he’s intellectual and Liam was the opposite, but they loved talking to each other. Liam was the kind of guy who would ask 20 people for advice — and Roger was one of them.”

We’re told that Liam became friends with a staffer in the cleaning department of the hotel, and he got him to get him drugs. Local outlets in Argentina featured a recording of the hotel manager allegedly talking to police in which he confirmed had fired staffers after Nores told him they were selling drugs to Liam.

***

So much for all the Ziam clowns saying Roger Nores was Liam's dealer. He was actively trying to keep Liam away from drugs.

[echotoyou]

Serendipity: Jimin

Part of the I miss you Collection

pairing: best friend!park jimin x gn!reader

what's inside: work is overwhelming and you decide to get dinner with your long term friend park jimin. unfortunately for you both when he arrives to pick you up you are still working (and you may look like shit)

warnings: curse words, hugs, therapy breathing exercises, a bit of a breakdown, jimin is SUPER good at hugging

word count: 1564

a/n: this one kept wanting more words and Jimin would NOT let me go. I hope this helps anyone experiencing a tough start to your week! you got this and I believe in you :) so incredibly grateful for a beta read by @theharrowing!!! thank you for helping me improve my writing 🥹💛🪿 graphics with gratitude from @strangergraphics!

posted august 2024 (also on ao3)

“Hey, I’m here, are you ready for… wait are you still working?”

A voice floats in and out of the haze surrounding your work-addled brain. Specific words slam  into the front of your skull while others fade to the background. Somewhere in your subconscious it registers that you do, in fact, enjoy the company of the owner of the voice, however, it still takes a gentle touch on your shoulder to drag your attention away from your computer screen.

“Hello, earth to the workaholic, there will STILL be emails on MONDAY— oh wow, you look like shit.” 

Suddenly accompanied by a face, you clock the pink and cream stripes of a sweater, a mop of dirty blonde hair, and more than a little sass in the eyes of your upstairs neighbor Park Jimin. He had quickly become a permanent fixture in your life when you realized you both worked at the same office, and who you had definitely agreed to do dinner with tonight. Shit.

When Jimin first started at your office, you alternated following each other home for about three weeks before putting two and two together that it was not, in fact, stalking, and you lived in the same six story apartment building within walking distance from your office. After your joint awkward realization, the two of you began to walk to work together in the mornings and evenings, taking the bus whenever it was too cold or if either of you were running late. 

Sometimes when you had to go extra early into the office, he would stop by when he arrived to bring you your favorite sweet coffee or a pastry. You exchanged keys on your third friendaversary and often would show up unannounced in each other's apartments to make dinner and relax. He loved spending time with your cat almost more than you did, and you adored that his kitchen was always incredibly well-stocked with ingredients and equipment. 

As both of your careers developed, you ended up switching to a different team and he got promoted, causing you to suddenly spend less time together at work. You still managed to walk together to work most days, but you started staying later and later in the office, your job requirements seeming to skyrocket every week with no ceiling in sight. To add insult to injury, you were also having trouble adjusting to your new team, and no matter how many times you reaffirm your interest and desire in the work, it still feels unmanageable and overwhelming.

This Friday you had closed your laptop at the end of the work day with a snap, determined to walk home with Jimin and enjoy your night to the fullest. He looked up with surprise in his eyes when you arrived in his office and quickly broke out into the biggest smile you had seen in a while. He packed his things and you both took advantage of the daylight hours getting longer again, walking back to your apartment building in the glow of a delightful orange sky getting more purple by the minute as the sun snuck below the horizon. It was finally spring.

In the elevator, you agreed to meet up for a dinner out, both wanting to celebrate your first free night in a while. Unfortunately, as soon as you clicked the lock on your front door, a ping sounded from your phone. Your company had “encouraged” all employees to download a communication platform onto your personal devices, and that ping meant your supervisor had just tagged you in an assignment due Monday morning. Kicking off your work shoes, you sighed. You pulled out your computer, and opened up the message to see what needed to get done, promising yourself that you’d look for two minutes before hopping in the shower to get ready for your dinner.

Apparently that quick two minutes had not been two minutes if the expression on Jimin’s face meant anything. Your eyes, already red from a week with little sleep and long hours looking at your computer, redden and fill with tears as you meet his searching gaze. 

“Oh OH hey hey I’m sorry – I didn’t mean you look like shit like shit, uh, I meant ‘you look like shit’ like, the! shit! You look cute?” rambling, his fingers reach under your eyes, brushing away the tears that are starting to fall. 

“Ah shoot,” he murmurs, “Can I hug you?” You nod a slight yes and he quickly leans down to wrap his arms around your shoulders.

His arms feel warm and secure as he holds you and holds you and holds you. You squeeze him twice to signal that it’s okay, you’re okay, and he can pull away now. Rather, he somehow pulls you even closer. You feel the pent up exhaustion and stress bubble into tears which start flowing down your cheeks. The dampness transfers onto his lovely knit sweater that you vaguely recognize as the one you gifted him for the holidays last year.​​ 

You nestle your face deeper in the comforting softness and breathe in the scent that you know by now just as well as the homemade apple pie that filled your family house as a child. Warm, sweet, safe. 

Your arms tighten their grip as you let the recent endless days of late nights and early mornings wash over you. Your slow stream of tears quickens, your mind racing at the missed deadlines, the projects that are too big for your three-person team, and the always urgent after hours emails. You gasp for breath and open your mouth against his sweater in a not-so-silent silent scream. All throughout, he stays right where he started, supporting your lower back with one arm and head with the other, cupping the nape of your neck, his thumbs gently moving up and down in a soothing rhythm.  

Your open mouthed scream turns to full body sobs, shaking you from tip to toe as you cling onto Jimin for dear life. Your head begins to buzz with dehydration as your tears slow their fall, but the pain of the last few months continues to circle in your brain.

Desperate to stay in the moment, you concentrate on the places where you feel Jimin’s fingers on your skin, the light woody scent of his cologne that you helped him pick out, and the feeling of his chest moving… a little unnaturally under you? Your brain hyper focuses on the rise and fall of his chest under your cheek. He takes a deep inhale, holds the breath and then releases it in a long, slow exhale. The third time he does it, you count the beats between each breath and recognize it as something you learned in therapy. After a few more cycles, you join in. 

Inhale

Hold, 2, 3

Release, 2, 3, 4, 5. 

Inhale

Hold, 2, 3

Release, 2, 3, 4, 5. 

Your breathing begins to even and the buzz in your head manages to give you a brief respite. You pull your head from where it was buried in his armpit and rest your chin on his chest, looking up at the man. 

Jimin’s eyes meet yours and you can see tears swimming in his own. You exchange watery smiles and he breaks the silence. 

“Hi there,” his voice sounds uncertain but is accompanied by a small, sad smile pulled against his features. 

“Hi back at you,” your voice is rough with disuse and you almost laugh at the absurdity of how much it sounds like a garbage disposal. 

He smiles more fully this time and squeezes you for a second before releasing his side of the hug. He still keeps his arms around you in case you need more, but you do the same, squeeze tight once and then fully relax.

You feel him searching your eyes for information and open your mouth to respond before —

*ping*

You hear Jimin huff and you twist in his arms, turning in your chair to look at the screen. Moving to behind your chair, he drapes his arms over your chest and places his head on top of yours. 

“What on earth could be important at 7:30pm on a Friday night?” he complains, and huh. He’s right. You agree with him. The work will still be there at 8am on Monday when you arrive in the office and you are not obligated to give your precious free time away (unless, of course, you get paid overtime, which does not seem to exist in your industry). 

You take a deep breath, steadied by the warmth of Jimin’s arms that are still wrapped around your chest, and close your laptop. You tilt your head back, giving the man above you a soft smile and an embarrassingly bad wink before replying.

“Nothing as important as dinner with you.”

“Wow,” he extends the word as a smile creeps onto his face. “That was so incredibly cheesy. It’s a good thing I think you’re funny.” 

He pulls you out of your chair and gently pushes you toward your bedroom.

“Now please go shower so we can get going! I didn’t put on my favorite sweater to sit inside tonight!” 

You still feel a bit raw from your earlier outburst, but also somehow a little better. A tiny grin makes its way onto your face as you turn for the bathroom.

[dead-girl-prolific]

Life Update (End of Hiatus?)

trigger warnings; topics of debilitating depression, Mental health, Mentions of drug misuse (ODing), mention of Mental Hospital visits, mention of a toxic relationship, concerning amount of over-sleeping, diagnoses, mentions of ED

I'm so sorry for not posting recently. I know it's been well over six months since I've posted anything. I've been going through a lot recently. I have a decent amount of things to go over, but for now, we'll just start with where I've been and what I've been doing these past nine-ish months.

April - August

In early April, I got out of a semi-toxic relationship. I don't want to disclose exactly how it was toxic. After that relationship ended, I took a hiatus from Tumblr and Discord; I started distracting myself with video games and in-game friendships. I spent most of my time gaming around early April all the way through May and I moved out of my guardian's house and back in with my biological mother in June.

I almost immediately fell into a deep depression and started sleeping 24/7, I remember 2 weeks after moving and getting settled there was a period where I was sleeping over 110 hours a week, one time I even slept for 2 days straight. I was struggling with romantic relationships a lot in late July. on top of that, my mental state wasn't the best and I was freshly unmedicated around the end of July to the first few days of August.

August - November/December

August 10th I landed myself in a mental hospital for a couple of days. I got out on August 19th, was put on new medications, and was finally fully diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I started a mental health program/alternative school and was there for about 4-5 weeks and was diagnosed with ADHD. my mom pulled me from the program because she and my therapist agreed it wasn't helping me much. During this program, I made my first OD attempt.

October 15th i was sent to another mental hospital from my second OD. I was there until October 24th, was put on different medications. My mom made an appointment for me to go back to my program. I was accepted and went back to November 1st. I made significant progress and attempted to get better. I learned a lot, I grew, and I changed. I stayed at the program for 7 weeks and finally graduated (I'm still going to the treatment, it's just less Extensive). All throughout the past 4-5 months I’ve been struggling with Eating Disorders I’m not going to specify but because of it I have had a very inconsistent weight which I am still struggling with, I haven’t talked to anyone about it, I’ve tried in the past, it’s just not something I can find a lot of support/understanding or even help for so I’m dealing with it on my own.

Social media;

I haven't returned to discord; I don't see myself returning to discord soon.

I've completely deleted my Instagram account and the app. I don't think im returning to Instagram either, at least not for a while. I don't have any social media besides Tumblr and Pinterest.

• Explanation: I feel like I owe it to myself to be free of distractions while trying to work on myself. I feel like social media was only making it harder for me. However, I've decided on keeping Tumblr and all my writing/reading sites (Wattpad, AO3, and Quotev) because I genuinely want to get better at writing and I want writing to become a good outlet for me, that and I feel like it'll be easier now that I'm living in a more stable environment. I feel like writing isn't taxing on me and I enjoy doing it. I love creating, although I don't draw as much as I used to.

recently;

I've been going through a lot of personal changes and perspective changes. I've realized a lot about my childhood and my previous living conditions. I've also become increasingly more aware of myself, obviously I'm not 100% aware of everything yet (regarding myself/habits, etc.) my therapist has told me we're going to look into a sixth diagnosis (Bipolar B or 2) when I've worked on myself more, I still have a lot of hurdles to jump before I get diagnosed with something like that. Mainly, I need to work on my BPD symptoms in order to tell if I have an underlying diagnosis (bipolar) as well.

BUT — I have been doing SO SO SO much better recently, I'm about to start senior year (i only have 4.5 credits left till I'm able to graduate.) when I finish Senior year I'll probably work towards getting my drivers license and getting a job.

also- I got my lip pierced today lol—

I will be posting one more Update after this one, be ready!

love you guys!!